At The End Of Her Rope
by w8ing4huddy
Summary: Cuddy has been a lot of things. She's been House's boss, friend, doctor, boundary-keeper, love interest, lifesaver, and yes, even his imagined savior. But can House survive being the one grasping at the end of her rope, trying to keep her from falling?
1. Hard Times Comes Again No More

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

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_(Okay, so I cannot begin to express how frustrated I am with EVERYONE right now! And I need to vent – sorry! First, Cuddy. I HATED how he entered her office during "Known Unknowns" and she just brushed off his presence in annoyance, when he hadn't even done or said anything yet. I don't care if that is how she is with him. It rankled. Then she lied to him when he offered to watch Rachel and that made me even more irritable. And then there's the whole thing with Lucas and the fact that she TOLD him EVERYTHING – which frankly, made me feel like she doesn't deserve House and never will (he respected her privacy with IVF after all and this was much more serious than that) and next, Lucas shoots off his mouth at the table and Cuddy doesn't shut him up as she should have immediately. Argh! David Shore, I'm not happy! And Wilson. What in the world?! He sat there at the table with House and just took everything in! What kind of friend does that?! House was so mature about it all – taking it in stride or something – but I just ached for him – even knowing in advance that Cuddy was seeing Lucas. Though I appreciate and can understand the benefits of how he handled it, I wanted House to react like House and walk away without comment, at least. Then tonight, Wilson continued to disappoint me. And Cameron – that was so hard to watch! I don't mind Cameron – I like her, but I couldn't believe how she blamed House for everything! People have to be responsible for their own decisions. Chase did wrong, but she euthanized a patient. I'm not condoning Chase's decision at all, but she's not exactly without her own history of making her own questionable decisions regarding the value of life, and she wasn't exactly a big fan of the murdering diplomat. So here you have House in this totally vulnerable state, trying to hold on to the people who made up his team in the past, needing to hold on to them after Cuddy's betrayal (and I loved that Shore used Thirteen to point in that direction – Wilson as well), and Cameron tells him – a man who is barely out of the asylum – that he's accountable for everything, it's his fault, and he's the one who turned Chase into the horror he's become! Who does that?! Foreman was in charge! Not House. House didn't even know about it until after the fact! Ay yi yi! I'm done with Cuddy, Wilson, and Cameron right now! Please Thirteen, be the one House needs right now. Stand in the gap. Someone needs to. The preview of next week assures me that it won't be Cuddy. I'm beginning to think Shore is destroying any and all affection I feel for her (& believe me, with the story that I've got in my head and pouring out of my fingertips onto my computer screen, I don't need his help there.)_

_Okay, so, here's what you need to know regarding this story. First, the only episodes I'm really taking into account this season in my story are Ep. 1 & 2, that of House's time in Mayfield. I think the few Huddy stories I've written on , have worked in the past because I've tried to stay true to happenings and events with the show. With this one, I'm not. Granted, the season's not complete enough to allow me to even attempt it, but this story generated in my head even before the season got underway. And for that reason, I'm not sure if this one will have any fans after the initial few chapters. Because honestly, in the relationship between House and Cuddy, it's always been about Cuddy saving him, rather than the other way around. She's been his doctor, his friend, his reviver, his hand holder, his imagined savior, etc. But she's never really needed him to return the favor – not really – not to any depth. And this story will go in that direction. But it's angsty and drama and there will be plenty of behavior completely out of character, both as a choice and as a result of trauma and frankly, it's going to cost House a lot in the end – this saving Cuddy business. So I tell you that right up front. I can't write stories without happy endings, but it's a long, complicated journey and you might as well know that from the get go. And I'll be lucky to complete it, with how torn up I am regarding how this season is shaping up! Though, I've oddly completed chapters here and there throughout this story, which I'm hoping only to tweak as I go. Also, I generally don't like songfics. But for whatever reason, I'm choosing to title each chap with a song and include the lyrics at the end. It's not usually my style, but since my House obsession started, I often find myself thinking of House and Cuddy when I hear certain songs and I'm going to go with it this once and see what happens. If you hate that kind of thing, ignore it. Next, I'd like to say I'm not having House go back to his old team. It was really hard for me to conceive Chase and Cameron leaving their positions for a blast in the past type set-up. And Cameron's a secondary character in my story so she won't be disappearing as she is from the show. Oh, and a warning. This story will end up M, not because I want it to but because there's no way it could be anything less and be the story I have in my head. I have no interest in publishing smut, nor do I intend to. But this story does deal with sex and its complications, so I doubt I can keep it as T, though I won't go into a whole lot of detail when things go in that direction. And by the way, if you are reading this because you've enjoyed any of my other stories, THANK YOU SO MUCH! This story eclipsed "Can't Stay Away" in my thoughts and I know that there are those who are probably waiting for me to pick it back up, but I was out of town for quite a while and slaving over this story in my absence. Maybe I will get back to it but I was honestly quite content with where it was at. We'll see! Thanks for reading and thanks for the nice reviews on past stories!)_

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House had expected his time in Mayfield to be a nightmare and it had begun as such. Detox had been a living hell. Too weak to take care of himself, dependent on others to wipe the vomit from his face, the shaking, the restraints, the isolation and misery, feeling like he was out of his mind; all had contributed to it being a horror amongst horrors. It had been a fate worse than death, he thought at the time. Then, detox was complete and he found himself surprised to discover that the pain in his leg was actually tolerable with the aid of the non-narcotic prescription they had him on. He was ready to blow the joint. Amber was long gone; ancient history. The Vicodin was also a thing of the past. But then he had gone to Dr. Nolan's office, suitcase in hand and a stolen cap on his head, only to find out that he wouldn't be going anywhere. Well, that wasn't quite true. He would be leaving, but only to go to the long-term ward. It sucked. He was there voluntarily but if he didn't stay, he'd never get Dr. Nolan's recommendation. Without that, the restoral of his medical license could not take place. He was trapped. So he did what came natural in situations where he was going to lose. House aimed to make sure no one else won. He made his sole objective that of raising a little cain, and by that he wasn't referring to the thing he used to help him limp easier. He was going to pull an "Attica" and ensure that it worked a little better with Nolan and his posse than it had with Cuddy that one day when he'd half-heartedly yelled it over and over in protest while in her office.

And then that plan had crashed and burned, so he'd tried another and another. Each ended in failure. Though he had to say, the beat-down had been fun. And Alvie had been game. Wilson's refusal to help him in his attempt to blackmail Dr. Nolan; not so appreciated. Well, at least not at the time. But Freedom Master's fallout had been the worst of all. Yes, he had been stuck at that point. He had to cooperate. He had to give in order to get. He had to not simply accept that he was broken, for he'd known that for a long time now, but what he needed was to believe that "they," meaning the "enemy," might actually be able to mend what was broken in him. That was something he had a hard time swallowing; believing that meant believing what he was convinced was a lie.

He thought a lot about Lydia in the days immediately after his release. He wondered if she had been the highlight of his time there or if maybe the day of his release had eclipsed her significance in his life because of everything it symbolized. But reality was that she HAD been the best thing to happen to him in those three months. He realized then that while the day of his release had been wonderful, he would never have reached that day without the effect she had on his life in being a part of it. Lydia had made him believe maybe he did have a good heart, underneath all his disguises and facades. She had seen him in the loony bin, the one circumstance of his life that made him feel unworthy of any woman's love and affection since before his infarction (especially Cuddy's, whose love he had been secretly longing for, for such a long time, but which he now felt he'd never attain, Mayfield being the final nail in the coffin of any chance he ever stood with her), and yet, despite his status as a committed lunatic, Lydia had not merely been attracted to him, but had enjoyed him, maybe even loved him, despite where they had found each other and where their relationship had formed its essence. She could appreciate his playfulness, his propensity for stirring the waters, even join him in his attempts; all things that served to increase his attraction to her. But she had also been the first person with whom he genuinely tested out Nolan's theory, and found it true; that trusting others could be something pleasant, rather than something ending in the loss of someone's respect and things even worse than that. House was a man who needed to be respected, for something, because so much of him was not respectable or publically acceptable. Lydia had withstood the test. And he himself had reaped the rewards, finally making progress towards his return to the world outside. He would eternally be grateful to her for that.

When House asked her why she had kissed him that first time, Lydia had given him the gift of knowing he was worthy of her finding him likeable. And in return, he'd given her the only gift he knew how to give, playing a song for her on the piano to show her that he also liked her, because he couldn't yet say that in words. Voicing his feelings was not just awkward but still something out of reach. She'd brought him Dvorák so that they could play together, something as complicated as he was, as complicated as any relationship between them could and would prove to be, something that required the two of them because neither one could pull it off themselves. But he had walked away, pushing her away, as he always did when he was scared. Amazingly enough, when he came back to her, he had admitted to her that fear was why he'd done it. When did he ever admit fear to anyone?! Feelings were meant to be buried or deflected, not exposed. But Lydia had freed him to expose himself, at least in small doses. Progress was progress. He'd danced with her then, comforted her in her sorrow over her sister-in-law, Annie's continual lack of progress and her own self-declared status of being "pathetic." He'd made love to her. It HADN'T been sex. Not like what he generally paid for anyway. If you could set aside the fact that she was married, it had been a thing of beauty; slow, tender, and racked with emotion. He hadn't experienced that in a very long time, certainly not with any woman since Stacy. Of course, the only women since Stacy had been prostitutes, but…still.

The very act between Lydia and himself that night had brought a dose of unexpected and overwhelming healing to him. She had made things "good," rather than miserable or just barely survivable. He suddenly found himself not wanting to ever live without that feeling again, which for House meant he didn't want to live without her either. Because she was the only one who seemed able to give that to him now.

Dr. Nolan had once asked him what the ending to the story would be. House hadn't known. He couldn't. You never knew the end until the story actually…ended. You could guess, but you couldn't know for certain. How could he know that the event which would bring her the most happiness, Annie's sudden recovery, would be the event leading to his greatest personal sorrow while in Mayfield? How could he have known when he took her hand that day, taking such pleasure in the simple act and the knowledge that she was about to experience a taste of what surely for her would be heaven on earth and that he'd be a part of giving her that, that the end was right there around the corner? It turned out that the ending to the story was that Lydia would leave, and while he wanted to, he wouldn't be able to prevent it. He hadn't wanted her to go. She hadn't necessarily wanted to either. She had said as much. But he couldn't fault her for choosing her children over tearing her family apart to be with him. Neither life, nor love, was ever without complications. And he knew that his real issue was that he didn't want it to change, not that they wouldn't both be able to pick up and move on, without one another. He hadn't yet loved her, loved her; but he had been willing to. He had reached the point of considering that maybe he'd be capable of not messing up quite so much in a relationship, or that just possibly, his mess-ups could be overcome. And then she was gone. Who knew in being lost without her, he'd be found, or at least, offered liberty from Mayfield to try and return to the world beyond?

House had climbed on the bus upon his release from the psychiatric hospital with one goal in sight. And that goal was to restore his life, maybe even find some happiness in the process. He contemplated what that would require. The first was obvious and he would do whatever it took to get his job back at PPTH. The second took much longer to acknowledge, though it had always been there within him, just never admitted to himself, especially after Mayfield for it seemed to be the impossible dream; he would become a better man, and the real purpose of that was to end up being the man he had to be to win Lisa Cuddy's heart, if that was even possible. But again, that wasn't something he recognized immediately upon his departure. Lydia had meant too much and the grief of losing her was still too real, to acknowledge willingly that Lydia might not be the one he was destined to spend his life with, the one he'd loved all along.

Now, here he was, somehow agreeing to live with Wilson temporarily while he picked up the pieces of his life he'd dropped prior to his departure for Mayfield. He was making strides towards rebuilding. He was back at PPTH, even though that didn't mean he was back in the role he'd had before. But he was there, and he was working, waiting for his medical license to be restored and trying to comply with Cuddy's rules of "no procedures, no patient contact" until he was given back what he'd lost in temporarily losing his mind. The wonderful part of that was, at least he didn't have clinic to do. The hard part of that was he still didn't have what he wanted, and therefore, happiness proved elusive.

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"_**Let us pause in life's pleasures and count it's many tears  
While we all sup sorrow with the poor  
There's a song that will linger forever in our ears  
Oh, hard times come again no more**_

'Tis the song, the sigh of the weary  
Hard times, hard times come again no more  
Many days you have lingered  
Around my cabin door  
Oh, hard times come again no more

While we seek mirth and beauty and music light and gay  
There are frail forms fainting at the door  
Though their voices are silent, their pleading looks will say  
Oh, hard times come again no more

'Tis the song, the sigh of the weary  
Hard times, hard times come again no more  
Many days you have lingered  
Around my cabin door  
Oh, hard times come again no more

'Tis a sigh that is wafted across the troubled wave  
'Tis a wail that is heard upon the shore  
'Tis a dirge that is murmured around the lowly grave  
Oh, hard times come again no more

'Tis the song, the sigh of the weary  
Hard times, hard times come again no more  
Many days you have lingered  
Around my cabin door  
Oh, hard times come again no more

_**Oh, hard times come again no more"**_

**

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Song: "Hard Times Come Again No More" (Kate & Anna McGarrigle)


	2. Sorry

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

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Late August, 2009

Several weeks had passed since he'd returned to work and House was realizing how much of a challenge being back was. He, well, frankly he wanted to quit. Nothing was as it had been prior to Mayfield. It didn't seem like it ever would be. And even though there were things he definitely wanted to change in order to improve the quality of his life, there were other things that he hadn't wanted to change, that he didn't like changing on him, and those were the things that made him most miserable in being back here. He found that beyond the immediate joy of being back was the reality and bitter disappointment in finding that his return to "normalcy" didn't bring as much pleasure as he'd expected. Not that normalcy actually happened for him.

The board had made it clear that it would only take one screw-up on his part for them to wash their hands of him forever. Wilson watched him like a hawk, and as they lived in the same apartment for the moment, it was something that took place around the clock; a constant scrutiny that often chaffed, seemingly unbearable. He always seemed to be waiting for him to mess up, return to the Vicodin, to do…something wrong. And it just added pressure to everything. Then, reality was that his team was no longer his, but Foreman's. What was even worse was that Foreman was now over HIM, something not just irritating or aggravating but, simply UNACCEPTABLE. Everywhere he went, people stared at him. It was like they were waiting for the crazy guy to attack and murder someone or, towards the other end of the crazy scale, strip down and run through the halls naked. He couldn't even run! And then there was Cuddy. These days she either looked at him as if she pitied him, which affirmed that she knew the one thing he had hoped she wouldn't find out from Wilson, or she studied him as if he was a puzzle to put together now, one whose pieces were so old and decrepit that any attempt made might end in the puzzle never coming together ever. He hated it. All of it. He dealt with it, but he hated it. He wanted to quit. He wanted to move to Arizona. He pondered how that would work out. But no, things were over between him and Lydia. He actually had accepted that and moved on, leaving her memory in the past, except for those moments when he wondered if returning to Mayfield would be such a bad thing after all, even without Lydia around. At least he was accepted there, regardless of whom he was or what he did.

There were days when he found himself up at the rail of the upstairs balcony overlooking the front desk, unsure as to how his feet had brought him there and the reason why they had. Cuddy would come out of the clinic and he would watch her and contemplate her in those moments when she did not know he was even around, because it was only then that he could be with her and not have her look at him the way she looked at him now, a look tainted by his being in Mayfield or the moments leading up to Mayfield; he wasn't sure which. It was strange when you thought about it. He watched her from the very spot in which he figured he'd destroyed her only months ago, bringing her to tears and ultimately bringing himself to the awareness that nothing was as he had unknowingly wanted it to be.

They never really spoke of it, not that House was especially desirous of having that conversation. But it grated on his nerves that they just tip-toed around it like the pink elephant in the room that no one wanted to mention for fear no one else could see it. Well, he wasn't crazy. Dr. Nolan would vouch for that. But he could see the pink elephant, clear as day. House wanted to apologize. Oh, how he wanted to apologize. He wanted to be vulnerable as he'd allowed himself to be with Lydia and ask Cuddy if they couldn't find a way to work things out between them, maybe even take a stab at a relationship together. But he always came back to the fact that Cuddy wasn't Lydia and what he could do with one woman, he couldn't do with the other. Cuddy just…she was a different breed. On top of that, they weren't just in the beginning of a relationship, starting with a fresh slate; but their slate was an old one, crusted over and septic with the past. Furthermore, he didn't honestly know how to relate to her in a way other than how he'd related to her before everything had gone so terribly wrong. Now he had to behave himself, and he was, but he kind of assumed that meant not interacting with Cuddy as he once had. He figured though that she wasn't really trying to rally him into being the old House either. Maybe she didn't want to interact as before. And standing there, watching her, he realized that that was the real reason for his being miserable in being back. He had so much to say to her and yet, so little he could actually say. He'd messed up. He'd hurt her. He'd wrecked havoc in her professional life and prior to that had often been contemptuous with her personal life. He was back at PPTH. And yet he was away; away from her. He missed her. Not that he could or would acknowledge that. But he didn't want to be here without her in the role she'd played in his life before the mess he'd made, unless she could slip into a role allowing them to have a future together. And yet, there wasn't anything he could do about it. Their relationship seemed to have come to a standstill, not routine or stuck in a rut, but displaced, leaving it somewhere it had never been before, somewhere that felt alien to him.

House was genuinely ashamed. Every time he came anywhere near Cuddy, a wave of it swept over him, making him wish there was a dumpster nearby he could take refuge in. But it wasn't often that they were alone in the same room together, so that helped him a little. And typically, even with House consulting on cases here and there, Foreman was the leader now and the one who had to sway Cuddy's mind for any risky procedures they might do as they went about solving cases and healing people. Not that House could DO the procedures, but at least he could suggest them. Cuddy didn't even bring them cases herself. Maybe because Foreman didn't require Cuddy's evil eye to motivate him into action. But all the same, House longingly awaited her evil eye look. He missed any look she had ever cast his way without that twinge of pity or concern contained in it. He shook his head, sighing internally.

Sometimes at night, as he lay in bed tossing and turning, House would relive those final days before Mayfield in his mind, picturing and working through each encounter he'd had with Cuddy. He thought of his declaration from the balcony and how she'd stormed after him, tears streaming down her face. He had really blown it, hadn't he? He hoped there was a way back from that, but he wasn't so sure there was. Not the way things were going. He wished he could go back to that night she lost Joy when he'd kissed her and rework their story from there. He wished he could wipe away at least SOME of the meaner things he had said to her over the years. But wishing was a waste of time. And you can't change the past. He had made the bed and now he had to lie in it. House sighed externally this time and reminded himself that maybe, just maybe, becoming a better man was the one thing that would change things. Then he turned from the balcony and made his way back to the Diagnostics department to check in. He couldn't bring himself to admit even in his thoughts that he was going back to Foreman's office. He rolled his eyes at the very idea, grinding his teeth a moment. He hated this! He needed to talk to someone. He had gotten a little too used to bouncing thoughts, feelings, and ideas off Nolan, as he did with his team and Wilson regarding cases. Well, maybe Wilson would make himself useful and help a guy out a little on the personal front. It was worth a shot.

* * *

Wilson walked into his office fifteen minutes later and found House sprawled out on the couch, feigning to be asleep. "House, make yourself at home," he sarcastically quipped. "What are you doing in here?"

"Hiding from Foreman," he replied, his eyes remaining shut, arms folded over his chest, one foot on top of the other.

"You are losing your edge," Wilson replied, walking around his desk to sit in his chair. "He's the one who told me you were in here."

House cracked open one eye and looked at him sharply. "I haven't lost my edge. Just my position. And my dignity," he added in disgust. "Foreman has to know where I'm at. It's in Cuddy's unwritten contract."

Wilson leaned forward on his desk, sighing sympathetically. "You DO know that you'll have your position back in no time, don't you? Foreman's only Interim Head of Diagnostics."

"All I know is that Cuddy had my name scraped from my office door and it's Foreman's name there now," he gritted out, unable to mask the trace of bitterness in his words.

"Just so you know," Wilson said, "she holed herself up in her office that day and avoided the 4th floor that entire week. Even now, she only enters through the conference room door. I think it's safe to hazard a guess that she didn't actually enjoy having to change it."

House remained silent, wanting to find Wilson's words comforting but unable to under the weight of all that lay between he and Cuddy now.

Wilson waited for him to speak but when he did not, finally decided to probe a bit. He had been waiting week after week for House to start talking to him. They were living together temporarily for goodness sake. But while they spent time together, it was generally done in front of the TV or in the kitchen, while taste-testing and sampling food. House didn't seem all that interested in sharing details yet, either of how Mayfield went, or of how he was feeling regarding being back. "Have you talked to her?"

"I work for her. I have to talk to her," he deflected, staring at a spot on the ceiling.

Rolling his eyes in exasperation, Wilson pointedly said, "You know what I mean. Have you talked to her about…you know, what happened before you left?"

House shook his head and then uncrossed his arms from over his chest before swinging around so that he was in a sitting position. "No. There's nothing to talk about."

Wilson raised an eyebrow, his expression testifying to his disbelief. "Yeah, sure," he sardonically agreed.

House looked down, studying the carpet between his feet. "There isn't. Otherwise she would have approached me."

"And why can't you approach her?" Wilson inquired in frustration, albeit honestly wanting to hear House's reasoning in this one.

He huffed out a breath of air and then met his buddy's gaze. "Have you seen the way she looks at me? She pities me. I'm just…the employee who lost his mind and fantasized about having hot sex with her. She doesn't want to get rid of me because I bring in some hefty donations and because once upon a time, I meant something to her, but other than that, she's written me off as a sob story. There's nothing appealing about me anymore."

Wilson stared at his friend, aghast. House really thought that?! Oh, man. How did he even approach this topic without saying the wrong thing and having House run out on him to avoid continuing the conversation? "That's what you think?" he finally asked, trying to keep his tone even.

"What else would I think, Wilson?" House asked grumpily, wishing he had just kept his mouth shut.

"Oh, I don't know. That she's concerned about you maybe?" Great, House was going to bring out his sarcastic side too.

"See? There you go! She's concerned. Worried about the guy who just came out of the insane asylum months after being put away, shouting to the world how he'd had sex with her! Imaginary sex, at that," House added, moodily. "Yeah, she's concerned about me! Concerned that I might lose it for good and have my meltdown affect her precious baby!"

Wilson was confused now. He scrunched his eyes closed and asked, "What does Rachel have to do with this?"

"Not that baby, you idiot!" House muttered in consternation. "Her other baby! The hospital!"

Wilson ignored the insult, shaking his head. "Cuddy's not concerned about you going psycho on her! She's worried because of how you're behaving now that you're back!"

"How I'm behaving?!" House indignantly began, his voice raised as he pushed himself to his feet and began to pace. "Wilson, I cannot…words don't even express how HARD I'm trying here! What does she expect from me?! I'm staying out of trouble! I'm playing by her rules! I'm doing as I'm told! I'm a stinking lapdog now, for crying out loud!"

Wilson motioned wildly, trying to emphasize to House that that's exactly what he was talking about. "That's just it! Don't you get it at all?"

House froze, staring at Wilson for a moment before frowning. "You are trying to tell me that she's…concerned," he drew out, "because I'm doing as I've been told?"

He nodded. "She fully expected to have to marshal you every moment of every day. And she was willing to. She told me that – even asked me to help her. Because even Cuddy can't be around to watch you ALL the time. She expected you to be yourself, your obnoxious, sarcastic, narcissistic, belligerent self. She accepts you as you are, House. Cuddy doesn't want to change you! She wouldn't know how to cope – she DOESN'T know how to cope!" Wilson emphasized, before pressing onward. "But you came back and you actually act like a RATIONAL human being! You act like you truly comprehend how close the board is to deciding to wash their hands of you. And, she's completely lost. It's like you don't need her anymore. She doesn't have to attempt to corral you because you are corralling yourself. That…totally mystifies her. She doesn't know how to interact with this new House. She's not sure what to do. If it wasn't that she's…Cuddy, I'd hazard a guess that she's internally 'distraught' over this change."

House sat back down, contemplating Wilson's words, initially skeptical but quickly deciding that it at least made a little sense, not to mention its capacity to soothe some of his hurt feelings.

"TALK to her, House," Wilson stressed, trying to encourage his friend.

House nodded and then got up to go. "I need to get back to work. Wouldn't want anyone to die because I'm not there to correct Foreman's inaccurate conclusions."

Wilson smiled, shaking his head in amusement as he watched him leave. He honestly hoped House would go talk to Cuddy about what was on his mind for once in his life.

* * *

House took the elevator to the lobby after checking in with Foreman. They were still waiting on some test results. He limped his way towards Cuddy's office, swearing he'd kill Wilson if he had led him astray here. House hesitated with his hand in the air, poised to knock, but then figured he might as well get this over with. He rapped his knuckles against her door and then waited.

"Come in," Cuddy called, looking surprised to see him when he entered alone.

"Don't worry. There's no need for security. You are perfectly safe. I'm not here to have a psychotic break on you today," he reassured, his tone completely drenched with sarcasm as he took a couple steps into her office, closing the door behind him. He couldn't help but think his conclusion about what Cuddy was worrying about was still possible.

She rolled her eyes and replied, "Whew! What a relief! I was really concerned there for a moment."

House smiled then, appreciating that sign that not all was lost between them. He sobered and uncomfortably shifted in his spot. "You got a minute?"

"If you keep being polite like this, I might have a psychotic break," she quipped. But then she nodded to indicate she did have time for him, watching him with interest.

So far, so good. He looked everywhere but at her for a moment, trying to figure out what he wanted to say. He sucked at these kinds of things.

"Are you okay?" she asked, a little concerned by his silence.

He brushed her concern away. "I'm fine," he replied, shaking his head a little to clear his mind before reestablishing eye contact.

"Do you want to sit down?" she offered, motioning to the chair in front of her desk.

"No!" House responded, as if the question was ridiculous.

She eyed him, determining to wait this out.

"I…I'm sorry," he finally mumbled, looking at her, his face showing he was quite serious.

Cuddy's eyebrows knit together. "For what?" she asked then, genuinely perplexed. An apology from House was about as likely as…snow in July.

Baby steps, baby steps, House reminded himself before exhaling and saying, "For that day. For what I told everyone. My big public announcement. I just need you to know that I'm… sorry Cuddy."

-----

"_**Oh I had a lot to say, was thinking on my time away  
I missed you and things weren't the same**_

'Cause everything inside, it never comes out right  
And when I see you cry, it makes me want to die  
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue

_**I'm sorry about all the things I said to you  
And I know I can't take it back  
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds**_

_**And baby the way you make my world go round  
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry**_

This time I think I'm to blame

_**It's harder to get through the days  
You get older and blame turns to shame**_

'Cause everything inside, it never comes out right  
And when I see you cry, it makes me want to die  
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue

_**I'm sorry about all the things I said to you  
And I know I can't take it back  
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds**_

_**And baby the way you make my world go round  
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry**_

Every single day I think about how we came all this way  
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried

_**It's never too late to make it right  
Oh yeah, sorry!**_

I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue

_**I'm sorry about all the things I said to you  
And I know I can't take it back  
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds**_

_**And baby the way you make my world go round  
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry**_

_**Yeah, I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry baby**_

_**I'm sorry**__**"**_

**

* * *

**

Song: "Sorry" (Buckcherry)


	3. Answering The Door

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I watched the last two episodes again and had some new thoughts. I don't know how I missed this the first time, but remember how they were dancing and House said, "And one thing led to another" and then Cuddy replied, "And then it didn't"? Did you notice how he repeated himself at the table but this time regarding Lucas? He said, "And one thing led to another" and then waited, just looking at Cuddy, as if he wanted her to realize the same ending she'd filled in for them would be true of her and Lucas as well. And she knew – she was on the same page. She knew he was referring to their conversation of the night before. But she wasn't going to conclude it as he wanted her to (understandably, even though we ALL know he's right). And I think the thing is, everyone at House, M.D. knows that things would never work out for Cuddy and Lucas. He's not her type (AT ALL). Everyone knows that. So they could have brought in someone new and perhaps we would have been kept guessing. Will it work out? Will it fail? But with Lucas, there's no question. We know it won't. He's just temporary. That should be reassuring, and yet, Cuddy is being so MEAN (at least in my mind anyway) that you don't like her all that much right now. And watching again reinforced the fact that SOMETHING is REALLY WRONG with Wilson! Is he off his antidepressant meds? I mean, "Known Unknown" ended with him thanking House, but frankly, he really is acting more like House than House is right now. It's a little disconcerting. The whole euthanasia thing and Wilson's issues are clearly not over and done with. And his eyes are a little freaky too. __Something just isn't right. Has anyone else noticed?_

_P.S. Okay, in response to one of my two reviews, when I said this story would only be taking into consideration the season opener, I didn't mean that Lucas wouldn't be in this story. He is. So, sorry if I threw people off! Unfortunately, this story won't do much to help us escape the reality of Lucas. And while I intend to stay as true as I can to his character, I don't know him as well as Cuddy and House, so I can't say I will do him justice. But I will try. Frankly though, as seems to be true already this season on the show, the majority of my main characters in this story will act OFF, at least from time to time.)_

* * *

Cuddy pushed herself to her feet then, coming around the desk towards him, only stopping about three feet away out of respect for his personal space. She imagined this was uncomfortable enough for him. "But you thought that we…" she began to excuse.

House interrupted, holding a hand up to stop her from voicing it. "Don't say it!" he commanded, though he was cringing already at her unspoken words. She wondered if it wasn't more a plea than a demand.

"Okay," Cuddy softly agreed. "But I'm not upset with you, House."

"You were," he stressed. "You…I made you cry." The words tumbled out of his mouth in his haste to get them out and she realized suddenly how much this really had bothered him. "That was not my intention," he finished, his eyes sad, though averted from her.

She softened completely and reached out, placing one of her hands on his bicep. "House, I know that. I…I was upset at the time but…I understood afterwards. Wilson explained…" Her words died in her throat at the look in his eyes. Okay, she accepted, the subject was taboo. She could respect that.

"So, we're…okay?" he asked, as if that was unfathomable to him.

"We're great," she reassured him, rubbing his arm. She wanted to hug him but didn't know if that was acceptable.

"Okay," he responded, though his voice still seemed like he was semi-dubious of this.

House took a step back then, content with the conversation, and Cuddy allowed her hand to return to her side. He turned to go and she watched him, still trying to process this turn of events. But when he reached the door he looked back at her. She waited, as he appeared to be debating about saying whatever else was on his mind.

Take a risk, House, he nudged himself. Be a man. Say…something. He cleared his throat. "Cuddy, do you think…?"

When he didn't continue, she figured he needed some encouragement in this one. "Do I think what?"

House looked down at his feet. "Do you think maybe you and I…could try out a relationship someday?"

Cuddy knew she had that look of a deer in the headlights, but she couldn't help it. She had not been expecting that. Sure, there was a shared history between them where they'd each taken steps in this direction at one time or another. But she had clearly underestimated House. She had never expected he'd directly bring the subject up or even that he was still interested in being with her. She stood there in silence for a moment, the question repeating over and over in her mind. House's eyes shot up to meet hers and she tried valiantly to pull herself together then. "House, I…" Cuddy began.

But he interrupted after seeing the expression on her face, his eyes falling to the carpet as he shook his head adamantly. "Forget it. Forget I asked, Cuddy. I… Don't answer."

She didn't know what to do or say now. If he had the guts to ask, she should have the courage to respond. But if he was taking the question back, did she answer or did she let it drop?

House reached for the door and pulled it open, looking back at her once more. "Hey Cuddy," he began, once he was sure she was listening. "You don't have to treat me with kid gloves. Just…be normal with me. I…I'm not really all that different. I'm still the same guy. I just…I want my job back and I'm committing myself to do what I have to do in order to accomplish that."

Cuddy nodded mutely to indicate that she understood. He responded in kind and then walked out, shutting the door quietly behind him. She stood there staring after him, processing despite her brain's seeming incapability to function normally. She closed the distance to her couch after a moment, sinking into it. Burying her face in her hands, she groaned. Oh boy. What in the world was she going to do? Why was everything always so complicated? And what had she ever done to deserve this sudden twist of fate?

* * *

May 2009

After leaving House with Wilson that day, she had gone home, forcing herself to focus on what she had to do, rather than something outside her control. She needed to get ready for the wedding and then dress Rachel for it as well. Priority number one was established. She set out her dress on the bed and then checked on her daughter before going into her bathroom to shower, desperately struggling to keep House out of her thoughts. Afterwards she went about blow-drying and styling her hair. Every time his face popped into her mind, she'd start thinking through her tasks for the weekend. I need to go to the grocery store. I need to pick up my dry-cleaning. I need to schedule a doctor's appointment for Rachel's six month check-up. I need to… I need to… I need to… By the time she ran out of things to do, she had the baby in her Bumbo baby sitter seat on the floor of the bathroom and was reaching for her makeup. Don't think about it; don't think about it; don't think about it. It was basically her new adopted mantra for the day.

By the time she made it to the wedding, Cuddy was running late. Despite her determination to push House from her thoughts, he had finally managed to burst through all her roadblocks, causing her to take several wrong turns in her distracted state, before she arrived. She found a seat in the back and sank into it, Rachel in her arms. Question after question streamed through her brain. How could the world go on as if nothing had happened when House's world had come to a crashing halt? She couldn't believe she was attending a wedding, a beautiful symbolic representation of two people's commitment to each other, when House was literally alone being committed to a stay of an unknown and questionable length of time of what for him would be pure misery in a psychiatric hospital. She tried to concentrate on the vows, knowing she had to at least try here to do her job as a supportive boss. But how well could she support Cameron and Chase, when the person she really wanted to be there for was House? When the wedding was finally over, she was all too happy to escape, staying only briefly to greet and make small talk with people she knew from the hospital. Some days, life just…sucked. She straightened her posture, drawing every administrative capability she had to the surface so that she could leave and feel like she'd at least done something well.

That night she called Wilson before going to bed, wanting him to explain one more time the past few weeks and what House had been dealing with. She had received a basic run-down from House in her office after he admitted he wasn't okay, but it hadn't explained everything and she wanted to know every detail. Wilson was reticent to share, understandably, but in the end he caved. Cuddy had hung up once she knew all there was to know, including exactly where House was at the moment, and then she lay there a while just re-hashing it with herself. She didn't know when she first became aware of the silent tears streaming down her face, but by the time they registered, she was bravely trying to choke back a sob. She finally sank into oblivion, thoroughly exhausted by the day she'd had.

To say Cuddy's next week was a train wreck would be putting it lightly. Not only did she have to account for House's actions before the board, but she also had to deal with repercussions from House's declaration from those who had either been present for it or who had heard of it after the fact. It seemed as if everyone in the hospital was skeptical of the circumstances surrounding Dr. House's sudden disappearance. Rumors spread like wildfire. It hadn't helped matters that she'd publically yelled at him, firing him following his statement that they'd slept together. By the end of the week, she had experienced every emotion under the sun. And finally she reached the point where she decided that she couldn't afford to spend one more day thinking of House, let alone wishing for things that would never be. House had had his chance with her. He'd had multiple chances with her. And he'd blown it each and every time. Cuddy didn't think she was being harsh or heartless in deciding this. She was choosing to look at everything rationally, separating her emotions from the facts of her history with him. Moreover, she wasn't angry about what had happened before he left. How could she be? It wasn't exactly like he'd chosen to have a delusion…about them. But she was committing herself to writing him off as far as ever dating him was concerned. He was a brilliant doctor. And she cared for him. She knew she did and she knew it went beyond what it should. But the fact remained that a relationship between them had and always would be impossible, for so many reasons that she didn't even know where to begin. And furthermore, no matter how much she wanted to save him…from everything including himself, she couldn't. She could only do her best to find a way for him to return to working at PPTH, once his time in Mayfield came to an end. This she would do for him. She would do it because…because it was the only thing she could do and professionally excuse herself for doing. He was a brilliant doctor. And in the end, he really was the number one reason why half of the hospital donors gave to PPTH.

-----

**_"If I could save you boy I'd do it a thousand times over  
And finally someday it seems that I meant you well_**

**_But I'm not answering the door  
We've been this way even more_**

**_Time won't be cruel if you let it go this way_**

**_And holding on  
Holding on  
Holding on  
There's something inside_**

**_Close to me  
Don't slip away  
You've been my whole life_**

**_But I'm not answering the door  
She's leaving inside even more_**

**_Time won't be cruel if you let it go  
It's way  
I'm letting it today_**

**_And don't  
Damn me down  
Falling like leaves when they're trading some piece of sky for the ground  
It catches so well after waiting so long, but_**

**_If I could save you boy I'd do it a thousand, thousand time_**

**_And maybe in time you would see I've made up my mind_**

**_But I'm not answering the door  
She's leaving inside even more  
I'm not answering the door_**

**_'Cause she's leaving inside even more_**

**_And if I could save you I'd do it a thousand time"_**

* * *

Song: "Answering The Door" (Rachael Yamagata)


	4. Say What You Want

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

Late May, 2009

House had been in Mayfield for three weeks when Cuddy's life took a strange and unexpected detour. It was Saturday and she and Rachel were at the grocery store. As she walked aisle after aisle, she quickly registered the presence of someone else behind her, pushing their cart down every aisle she turned into. At first she didn't really think much of it, but then when she skipped an aisle and turned down the next, the person behind her doing the same, the hairs on the back of her neck went up. She clutched her purse tighter and then about faced to find out who her tail was. To say she was surprised would be an understatement.

"Hello, Dr. Cuddy," he said immediately. "I thought that was you."

She blinked at him in her confusion before stating the obvious. "You're the guy House hired to stalk Wilson and then to dig up dirt on his team, as well as on me."

"Yeah," he admitted easily. "Lucas Douglas."

"I remember," she informed him. She rarely forgot a name, which was a genuine lifesaver as Dean of Medicine. Furthermore, the likeliness that she'd forget his name was slim to none, simply because they'd had several rather…bizarre encounters almost a year ago now. "Are you following me?" she asked suspiciously.

He looked embarrassed but admitted, "Kind of. I saw you and was trying to get up the courage to say hello."

She wasn't sure whether his honesty was refreshing or disturbing. "Oh," she replied lamely.

* * *

Oddly enough, they stood there and talked for quite some time. What struck her as even crazier on the way home was the fact that she'd agreed to meet him for coffee later on in the week. He was…sweet, in a way that was both slightly unsettling and yet endearing, all at once. She wondered briefly if it was such a good idea to get together with someone who had entered her life via House. But it was just coffee, she told herself. And she was meeting him there, rather than having him pick her up. It probably didn't even constitute as a date. But then, why did she feel like it was one?

* * *

August, 2009

A couple months passed and Cuddy and Lucas continued seeing each other. He hadn't moved in with her or anything but he did come over several times a week, sometimes even spending the night, and each day their relationship became more and more serious. He was very attentive, both to her and to Rachel. Cuddy had quickly become infatuated with him. For so long, she'd been without a significant other. And now she had one; one who was genuinely a great guy, funny, comforting, endearing; one who accepted Rachel and loved her. Cuddy thought she might even love him back, though she hadn't said those words to him yet. Still, something within her was hesitating. She wondered if it wasn't just the knowledge that she really didn't have a great history of successful relationships. And too, every once in a while House would come to mind and she'd feel torn, out of what she assumed to be a misguided sense of loyalty. But time continued to pass and she began to really see a future for her and Lucas, one that involved wedding bells and marital bliss. She began to believe he would be her happily ever after. And she couldn't help but hope that this was the real deal. Because it was beginning to feel like it.

* * *

When she found out House would be coming home, butterflies stirred in her belly. She quickly tried to brush them aside, instead focusing her energy on making sure arrangements with the board were in place. But that first day, when she watched him enter the hospital, she couldn't help feeling all mixed up about it, being relieved to see him and yet a little sorrowful that things couldn't work out for them, as she'd once hoped they would. He did something to her that no one else had ever been capable of doing. Not that she could explain that, even to herself. Moreover, Cuddy was a little scared, because she wasn't sure what she'd do without him, should he find out about Lucas and react negatively. But then, she and House were just…friends of sorts now, right? If that. And House liked Lucas. It shouldn't be a problem. Once the time rolled around to tell him, he'd work through it. When House turned in her direction, she made her way back to her desk and masked her reaction to his presence, reminding herself that she was his boss, and he her employee. When he walked in a minute later, she greeted him as a professional, rather than someone intimately acquainted with who he was as a person, someone who had once hoped he'd become the man she wanted him to be.

* * *

Present Day

But now House had actually indicated that he WAS interested in her. And she was…off the market. Unavailable. Uncertain about whether she'd want to be with him, even if she was…no, she was DEFINITELY uninterested. She groaned again, throwing herself back on the couch, her eyes flying wide open to stare vacantly at the ceiling. What did she do now?! She had to tell him. She just had to. Did she really want him to find out from someone else?! True, Lucas hadn't yet come to see her at work, mainly because she'd insisted that her private and professional lives were to stay separate, but the day would come when he'd swing by. Someone was bound to see him, possibly even House himself. Making up her mind, she forcefully shoved herself off of the couch, striding to the door to seek him out.

* * *

Foreman directed her to the lab, where House was busy checking the results from some tests they'd ran on their current patient. At least he was alone, she told herself thankfully. Pushing open the door, she stepped in. His eyes found hers then and he looked surprised, though he smiled as if it was a pleasant happenstance. The smile alone made her nervous. How did she handle this House? The old House would never have allowed himself to reflect his happiness at seeing her, through his expression or any other means. Oh, how was she going to say what she needed to say now?

"Did you need something, Dr. Cuddy?" he asked, raising an eyebrow because she was just standing there, practically wringing her hands.

She straightened her shoulders and took a deep breath. "House, I just…have something I need to say to you."

His expression changed into one of apprehension, his brow furrowing, before he replaced the look with his typical poker face. "Okay," he said slowly, setting the test results on the counter before turning towards her.

"I…I'm sorry. I… You were asking earlier if I thought it was possible for us to… Well, anyway. It's just that…" she attempted to explain.

House interrupted, not sure he was ready to hear her answer. He'd rather skip the explanation. "That's a no, then?"

She hesitated, staring at him sorrowfully, before nodding her head. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him. Especially when he was still fragile.

He exhaled, his hands gripping the countertop as he turned away from her. "Because you don't think it could ever work out," he said without emotion, a statement rather than a question.

"I…" Just tell him, Cuddy, she told herself, brushing away how she could refer to herself by her last name in her head just because she was in House's presence, as if it was a pesky fly. Maybe it's better for him to know you are in a relationship than for him to just assume it's him that's the problem, she continued in her nonverbal dialogue with herself. But then, if he knows about Lucas, he might try to interfere and ruin things. That would be a typical House behavior. Did she really want him to mess with her personal life? To have him stir the waters of her relationship with Lucas, plumbing the depths in his quests for information and a way to disrupt everything? And that was beside the point. Even if she were available, she and House…they didn't stand a chance. It was better to just agree that he was right and that was why.

"Yes. I'm your boss, House. You're my employee. It just…it wouldn't be wise. And let's face it, there have been plenty of opportunities in the past and there must have been a reason why neither of us tried harder to make it work. A relationship between us…would end terribly. I'm sorry." Even saying it, she felt like she'd chickened out. She should tell House about Lucas. One day he'd find out and if the circumstances weren't just right, there was no way to predict how he'd react or behave. But she just couldn't do it.

House bobbed his head imperceptibly. "Okay. Thanks for telling me," he said softly.

She stared at his back, longing to reach for him. But it was the wrong thing to do. She'd done what she needed to do and she wouldn't go back on her decision. She watched him sadly for a few seconds before turning and slipping out of the room.

* * *

House stood there, trying desperately to suppress his emotions. He'd put himself out there. But he'd gotten hurt again. He thought about Nolan and how he'd sought him out after Lydia left him standing there outside her door. Maybe he should give him a call and see if he wanted to get together for coffee or something. He figured they did sort of classify as friends now. He was still seeing him as a patient from time to time, anyway. House decided he would do that, turning to pick up the lab results once again. But he didn't make a move to leave the lab.

Cuddy, he thought and sighed. It all boiled down to her not believing they could make a go of it. She didn't believe in him. She didn't think he could make the effort required to love her the way she wanted to be loved. It was over, then. She wasn't willing to risk anything for the possibility of a future between them. Apparently he wasn't worth it to her. Fine. She could have it her way. He could be professional about this. But as he reached for the door, something inside him ached. He remembered that day in his office when she'd said, "Everybody knows this is going somewhere." Apparently it wasn't. A bitter taste filled his mouth. Her words meant nothing. Not if she could walk away. Not if she couldn't even give him a shot.

-----

**_"Say what you want to say  
Play this game your way  
It_****_'_****_s over anyway  
You didn_****_'_****_t give it all for love_**

Take what you want to take  
Take back the words you**_'_****_ll say  
They never mattered anyway  
You didn_****_'_****_t give it all for love  
No you didn_****_'_****_t give, give it all for love_**

When I look through the photographs  
And I see the smile on your face  
I remember how you used to feel  
And I can see how much has changed

Say what you want to say  
I**_'_****_ll carry on the same  
Maybe you_****_'_****_ll look back someday  
You didn_****_'_****_t give it all for love  
No you didn_****_'_****_t give, give it all for love_**

When I look through the photographs  
And I see the smile on your face  
I remember how you used to feel  
And I can see how much has changed

When I look through the photographs  
And I see the smile on your face  
I remember how you used to feel  
And I can see how much has changed

Say what you want to say  
Play this game your way  
You will know someday  
You didn**_'_****_t give it all for love  
No you didn_****_'_****_t give, give it all for love  
No you didn_****_'_****_t give, give it all for love"_******

**

* * *

**

Song: "Say What You Want" (Rosie Thomas)


	5. Walking After You

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

October, 2009

House spent the next several weeks concentrating completely on work and avoiding Cuddy as much as possible. He just…didn't know how to be around her without feeling wounded by her rejection. She didn't seek him out either, probably finding their encounters to be equally awkward; except to give him updates on where his paperwork stood in the process of reinstating his license.

He had received an e-mail, with both his name and Wilson's copied in, informing them of a conference at the end of October that they both had to attend. Apparently, House was closer to having his license reinstated than he thought. He was scheduled to speak on behalf of PPTH, as was Wilson. Even Cuddy seemed obligated to attend, though House wasn't sure what was required of her. House would happily speak about his specialties if it meant that at least his position at PPTH could go back to normal. Foreman seemed aware that his days in power were numbered, though House was surprised to find him more relieved than irritated about it. He suspected it was annoying to have the team constantly defer to House's opinion. It served as a mockery of Foreman's leadership.

The first week of October, House decided the time was right to move back into his apartment. He had continued paying his lease in his absence and as he'd successfully remained Vicodin-free, as well as alcohol-free, he was confident that he could handle living on his own once again, without issue. Plus, he was sick and tired of living at Wilson's, camped out on the couch. He'd consulted Dr. Nolan when they were out for dinner and had received his approval on the idea. Nolan was impressed by his efforts and the reports he'd received from Cuddy regarding House's return; reports that House had okayed Nolan to receive when he first got back. Wilson seemed a little reluctant to see him go, but helped him move his stuff back anyway. He knew House was restless to get back to his piano.

House still went over to Wilson's regularly. He had been actively trying out various new hobbies, looking both for a distraction from what weighed on his mind in concerns to Cuddy and for a time-filler for the hours he used to pass at a bar. He was actually becoming quite the cook. It had shocked Wilson, but he had been only too glad to eat House's ware, making a point to keep his fridge well-stocked, even after House returned to his apartment. House understood that as an unspoken invitation to keep coming round and so he did, cooking at least once a week for the both of them.

* * *

He had informed Wilson that he had talked to Cuddy, but had been vague on details, as he couldn't quite bring himself to share that he still had feelings for her and that she'd told him they had no future together. He didn't want to open the doors to Wilson's interference, or admonitions about how he'd blown off opportunity when he'd had her within reach. He felt awful as it was. Wilson seemed to suspect that something was off between House and Cuddy, maybe even guessing that the talk had ended in a way that House was upset by, but he opted to leave it alone a while and see if he wanted to share in his own time. That time still had not come, but Wilson waited, trying not to be too obvious in his observances of the rare interactions between House and Cuddy while at work. He still had high hopes for it though, even if his assumption proved accurate and it was being pushed back a little while House recovered from his experiences at Mayfield and actively pursued re-activating his standing at the hospital.

* * *

The end of the month came faster than House thought it would. Suddenly he had less than a week to prepare for the conference. He busied himself with an outline of the subject matter he wanted to speak on, not because he had any real intention of thinking ahead and planning his session out, but because he wanted to be somewhat prepared should Cuddy or the board require him to approve it by them. He was somewhat relieved when they didn't. Maybe they really were satisfied by the changes in his behavior since he'd been back. After all, he had put a lot of energy into keeping on the down low. Suddenly he rethought everything, deciding to change his plans for the session, staying up all night doing research, a plan hatching in his brain.

* * *

House packed that Thursday so that he could bring his suitcase with him to work Friday morning. He, Cuddy, and Wilson were supposed to leave immediately following lunch. Cuddy was going to drive separate, as she told them she needed to stop at home first and make sure everything was in order for Rachel. House was actually glad about that. It gave him a little more time to strategize for the conference. He had met up with Nolan earlier in the week and talked a little about Cuddy and the situation, though not to any great depth and without mentioning her name, nor the fact that she was his boss. Explaining everything would take hours and hours. Even if Nolan had the interest to listen that long, House didn't have the inclination to open himself up for that.

Nolan encouraged him to be patient and see what happened. He said there was no rush to be in a relationship. Some things take time. House had impatiently told him it had already been twenty years. Nolan just gave him a stern look until he rolled his eyes and changed the subject. But he had been thinking a lot since that meeting and he had come to a new conclusion. If he wanted Cuddy, he would have to become serious about pursuing her. And before he could even hope to chase her in obvious ways, he really had to show her that he was capable of being the man she needed him to be. He walked out of his apartment that Friday morning, strategizing about how he'd use this weekend to his advantage.

* * *

House climbed into the passenger seat, buckling himself in before reclining the chair partway. Wilson got in and put the key in the ignition, the engine roaring to life. He pulled out of the hospital, contemplating the weekend ahead of them. As House had not yet opened up to him, he decided he'd bring the subject up, wanting to get a feel for how things were going to be during the conference. A heads-up always helped. Glancing over at House, he noticed his eyes were closed. It didn't stop him.

"So, it's going to be you, me, and Cuddy all weekend," he stated ambiguously, watching House for a reaction. To his confusion, House smiled, his eyes still closed.

"What's that look?" he asked him carefully.

"What look?" House replied innocently.

"You're smiling."

House opened one eye then, turning his head in Wilson's direction. "I'm not allowed to smile?" he asked, obviously amused.

Wilson gave him a skeptical perusal. "Sometimes when you smile, I have this bad feeling that something is about to happen that I will later regret being around for."

House laughed. "I have to change Cuddy's mind on some things. I'm plotting. I have to figure out how to go about it," he admitted honestly.

"What?" Wilson asked in clear perplexity.

"Cuddles doesn't think we could ever have a relationship together. Not successfully. I need to prove to her otherwise."

Wilson stared at House a moment too long and House sat up quickly, reaching for the wheel to shove it a little to the left, thereby keeping them in their lane of traffic. Wilson returned his eyes to the road instantly. "Sorry," he mumbled.

He waited a couple minutes mulling over what House had said.

"You know, I can see the wheels turning in your head," House taunted. "But sometimes I think the wheel is spinning despite the hamster being dead."

Wilson glared at him momentarily before concentrating on the road. He paused the conversation until they were at an intersection, waiting for the light before he opened his mouth. "So when you talked to her, you actually told her you want a relationship with her?"

House nodded thoughtfully, mentally putting himself back in her office that day.

"That's…big, House. And surprising. I…I'm proud of you," he said, his tone indicating awe. The light changed and Wilson drove on, heading for the interstate.

House rolled his eyes. "Give me a break Wilson. I'm not unaware of my feelings for Cuddy."

"Yeah, but you basically admitted them to her. That's…huge," he continued, switching lanes to enter traffic.

"Well, as I might have mentioned, she wasn't all that interested," House reminded him, looking his way before messing with the vents and buttons to adjust the temperature within the car.

Wilson nodded, thinking about it. "She's interested. She's always been interested. She just doesn't know if it would be a good idea. It's rather complicated. She's your boss. And you're not exactly a model employee. Plus, while PPTH doesn't have any regulations regarding personal relationships between staff members, you do have to inform the hierarchy if you are dating someone who is over you."

"I'd like her to be over me," House said wickedly, suggestively raising and lowering his eyebrows.

"Shut up," Wilson admonished, vaguely irritated. "Put that statement on your list of things to start suppressing."

"You said yourself she doesn't know how to interact with me when I'm not a jerk or making dirty comments to her," he defended.

Wilson sighed, bobbing his head in acknowledgement that that was at least partly true. "But she also needs you to be professional about it while in the hospital. If you are going to actually do this, it's better to overdo it. Just…be considerate, for once."

House rolled his eyes, though he knew it was a suggestion worth listening to. "So you think when she said she wasn't interested, that she didn't really mean it? That maybe I do just have to show her I can behave and act like an adult and then she might consider it worth pursuing?"

"Yeah, I think so. It wasn't that long ago that she was the one pursuing you. It wouldn't hurt if you pursued her for once. Just be smart about it," Wilson encouraged, before assessing House for a moment. "You've…changed, House. You really have. I can see that, but I spend a lot of time with you. Now you've got to make her see that."

"I've been avoiding her since she said that we couldn't be together," he admitted then, looking out the window at the countryside now rolling past.

Wilson nodded understandingly. "That's normal. But now you've decided that you are going to go for it? Change her mind concerning you?"

House smiled, turning back to Wilson. "Yep. I want this. I want her."

Wilson chuckled at his pronouncement. "I'm glad, House," he told him then, mentally promising himself that he'd do everything in his power to help them make this work. Cuddy might hesitate, but he remembered all too well that conversation with her the night he had taken House to Mayfield. She had been terribly distraught. Yes, he would help them out as best he could. He was a meddler by nature and anyway, House deserved some happiness. If Cuddy would make him happy, then Wilson would do his best to keep House from screwing it up. If House would just try, Wilson had no doubt whatsoever that he'd succeed in making Cuddy happy. Little did Wilson know what lay in store for them that conference weekend. Otherwise, his advice to House would have been drastically different.

* * *

House and Wilson checked into their hotel rooms later that afternoon. They were right across the hall from one another. Both went to shower and get ready for the opening banquet that night. The first session would be directly afterward, at 8 p.m. Wilson didn't have to speak until the next day and House was scheduled to talk Sunday morning. Cuddy had arrived by the time they exited their hotel rooms and House made a point of knocking on her door to invite her to accompany them downstairs. She had a room two doors down from Wilson, at the very end of the hallway on the left. If she was surprised by the invitation, or by House's change in behavior regarding her, she did not indicate it. She went back into her room and picked up her purse from the bed before joining the two of them.

House tried extremely hard to make conversation and keep Cuddy involved. He was polite to everyone at their table, even taking the lead in introducing both Cuddy and Wilson to everyone seated there. Cuddy glanced at him every once in a while, her expression revealing her uncertainty regarding House's thoughtfulness, but by the end of the meal she had relaxed and was back to laughing and bantering with him a little. Wilson watched the two of them, trying to hide his satisfaction at how things were going. House had definitely turned on the charm. He really WAS serious about making a go of this. Good for him!

They found three seats together during the first session and sat down; Wilson first, then Cuddy, then House. The session began and everyone focused on the presentation; even House was attentive to the speaker. House grinned when Cuddy kept glancing at him. He figured she was still thrown off by how well-behaved he was proving to be, especially since she hadn't had opportunity to observe him properly before this. Things between them had just been too disconcerting and uncomfortable.

Wilson skipped out a little early, having received an important page that he felt he couldn't ignore and bolstered too by the fact that it might be good for House and Cuddy to be alone together every once and awhile during the weekend away. Once the session was over, House walked Cuddy back to her hotel room, entertaining her with his imitations of the speaker. He couldn't completely behave, after all. He was still House. He said good night to her and waited for her to go inside before heading back to his own room, smiling broadly.

* * *

Cuddy closed the door behind her, leaning back against it in confusion. House had been… Well, he had surprised her. She had fully expected him to avoid her all weekend, as he had over the past few weeks. Instead he had been pleasant, even…captivating and…thoughtful. And yet he was still the House she knew and loved, all at the same time. Loved, she suddenly thought in panic. She didn't love him! Did she?! No, she couldn't. She didn't. Lucas's face came to mind and she mentally shrugged House away, reaching for her purse to dig out her cell phone. She should call Lucas and check in.

* * *

House lay sprawled out across his bed that night, his arms supporting his head. Thoughts of Cuddy swirled like mist in his mind. He thought about the past few hours and how, when he really put his all into it, he had succeeded in getting past her initial rejection from before to bring on his "A game." He could do this. He was fully capable of interacting with her like that had never happened. And if he could do that, there was no reason why he wouldn't be able to pursue her until she couldn't imagine NOT being with him. His confidence came back then and he smiled smugly, thinking that this would be a piece of cake. He just had to intentionally work from now on to not mess up somehow.

-----

**_"Tonight I'm tangled in my blanket of clouds  
Dreaming aloud  
Things just won't do without you, matter of fact  
Oh, I'm on your back, I'm on your back_**

**_Oh, I'm on your back_**

If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you  
If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you

If you'd accept surrender, I'll give up some more  
Weren't you adored?  
I cannot be without you, matter of fact  
Oh, I'm on your back, I'm on your back  
**_Oh, I'm on your back_**

If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you  
If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you

Another heart is cracked in two; I'm on your back

I cannot be without you, matter of fact  
Oh, I'm on your back, I'm on your back

**_Oh, I'm on your back_**

If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you  
If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you  
If you walk out on me, I'm walking after you

Another heart is cracked in two; I'm on your back"

* * *

Song: "Walking After You" (Foo Fighters)


	6. Please Don't Leave Me

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Remember, this was written long before the episode of the conference aired. Sorry that I'm not sticking with the facts. This story definitely has a life all its own.)_

* * *

House got up the next morning feeling like he could take on the world. He got ready and went down to Cuddy's room, knocking quietly. She opened the door, inviting him in before returning to the bathroom to stand in front of the mirror to put her earrings in. He stood in the hallway of the suite by the bathroom door, watching her, one hand resting on his cane, the other in his pocket. "You look beautiful," House informed her, completely sincere.

Cuddy looked up at his reflection in the mirror, surprised by his words. "Thank you, House," she managed to say, stabbing herself with the earring in the process when she went to put it in and missed the hole.

House saw her wince and withdrew his hand from his pocket, stepping into the bathroom with her. "Are you okay?" he asked, cupping her head to scrutinize her ear.

She shivered at his touch, her eyes fluttering closed, but House was concentrating on her ear and didn't notice. "You didn't break the skin but it is a little red. Here, hand me that," he said, reaching for the earring. She did as told, dropping it in his hand, unsettled by his close proximity and tender touch. He brushed her ear with a finger, tracing the curl of it. When she suddenly inhaled, her eyes closing once more, he bit back a smile and put the earring through the hole she'd been aiming for, gently releasing it to let it dangle. "There you go, Cuddy," he murmured, his breath warm against her neck, before stepping back to give her space as he met her eyes.

"Thanks," she mumbled, a little worked up by how she'd reacted to him. Get a hold of yourself, she thought to herself. You're with Lucas. You can't react to House like you used to. That time's come and gone.

As putting in her earrings was the last thing she needed to do before she was ready, she turned to exit the bathroom. House was in her way. She paused then, hesitating as she looked up at him. He stepped back just enough for her to pass but not enough for her to avoid brushing up against him slightly in the process. Cuddy brushed aside the intimacy of being in the same bathroom together, though House enjoyed every moment thoroughly.

They exited Cuddy's suite and approached Wilson's. House knocked hard on the door, his demeanor changing to something more expected. "Come on, Wilson. We're going to miss breakfast."

Wilson opened the door, looking harried and a little peaky. "You guys go ahead. I have some last minute notes to go over and I'm not hungry anyway."

"Okay," House replied casually, not really thinking anything of it. He turned back to Cuddy as Wilson closed the door. "Shall we?" he asked after a moment's hesitation.

They began in the direction of the elevator and she blinked several times when a moment later, his hand settled on the small of her back. But it was completely innocent, she told herself, while worrying her upper lip between her teeth. And when he dropped his hand upon entering the elevator, she pushed it from her mind.

They went down to breakfast and sat together, making small talk with the other doctors present. House watched Cuddy go to get some orange juice, glancing back at him as she went. He swore she started to swing her hips more dramatically then, even if it remained possible that it was not done consciously.

* * *

Wilson showed up ten minutes before his session was to begin, taking a seat next to House. "Are you feeling okay?" House asked then, surprised by Wilson's apparent discomfort.

"I'll be fine," he replied. "I just…don't react well physically when I have to present in front of a crowd."

"You'll do great, Wilson," Cuddy assured him, leaning across House to touch his arm. House couldn't help but take advantage of the moment to eye the v of her blouse. Cuddy realized this and sat back quickly, blushing for some reason unknown to her, because why would she expect anything less from him when this was how he was.

House chuckled, rather pleased that his attention could cause heat to flood her cheeks, but he turned to Wilson without comment. "Well, if you are going to get this over with, you better go take your spot on the stage."

Wilson looked startled for a moment, having forgotten that he was supposed to be up there and not back with House and Cuddy. He stood up quickly, almost losing a file containing his notes in the process, and House watched him go, somewhat amused. He put his arms up on the back of the chairs next to him, one draping over Cuddy's seat and gently resting against her shoulders. He could feel Cuddy's eyes on his, questioning and probing. She was obviously thinking about how he'd checked her out a moment ago and now had his arm around her. It was better to just let her come to her own conclusions, he thought. Let her analyze the thing to death first.

* * *

House clapped Wilson soundly on the back when the session ended, making sure to be over-the-top about it so that Wilson would be annoyed with him rather than bugging him about the sign of affection. Despite his sudden attack of nerves, once Wilson had stood up to speak he had been in top form. Cuddy, recognizing how nervous he must have been earlier and putting on her boss hat, smiled and complimented Wilson on how prepared and informative he was in his speech regarding perfecting patient care in terminal situations. If there was anyone who knew a thing or two about breaking bad news to people who were dying, it was him. The three of them walked down to the banquet hall for lunch, but Wilson begged off eating, saying he wasn't hungry yet. House got Wilson a plate of food anyway, eating both of their lunches.

"House!" Cuddy scolded from across the table. "You pig!"

"What?" he asked around a bite of burger. "He's not going to eat it anyway."

She laughed throatily then, leaning forward on the table as she watched him, her chin resting in her palm. The burger caught in House's throat at the sexy sound of her laughter. He reached quickly for his water and guzzled it, clearing the obstruction. Cuddy and Wilson both looked at him in amusement.

"Serves you right for trying to eat two meals," Cuddy told him.

He gave them a semi-irritated look before pushing the plates away from him. "You guys are mean," he whiningly muttered.

Cuddy shrugged. "And you're a jerk, eating Wilson's food like that."

"He wasn't going to eat it!" House declared, defending himself.

"Even so…" she said, her words trailing off.

"What time is the next session?" Wilson asked, interrupting their bickering.

"We have about a half hour," Cuddy answered after checking her watch. "But this one's shorter. It's only about 35 minutes long."

"Thank goodness!" House exclaimed, reclining back in his chair. "I could use a nap."

Wilson laughed, amused by House's tone. "You're getting old, House. You take more naps than most of my chemo patients."

Cuddy smiled, getting to her feet. "Well, I'm going to go make a phone call. I will see you two in there."

House watched her go, his head tilted to the side. Yes, she definitely had an extra swing to her hips today.

* * *

House was glad when the session ended and he could return to his room. Cuddy went off to make another phone call, probably checking on Rachel, and Wilson headed to his room to call a couple patients who he needed to check in on. House got up around 3 p.m., deciding to see what everyone was up to. They had the afternoon free to do with as they wished, before the evening meal was served at 6. Following that was a movie focusing on some new medical procedures that were up and coming. Anyone who wished to could attend. House was hoping he could convince Cuddy to sneak out with him for a while, or maybe go for a swim in the pool. But first he thought he'd stop by Wilson's suite.

House stepped out of his room and went to Wilson's door, his knuckles rapping sharply against the wood. If Wilson was inside, he was out cold. House turned to head towards Cuddy's room when he heard her laughter and the door handle to her suite turning.

And then she was there, standing fifteen feet in front of him, wrapped in the arms of…Lucas? House stared at the scene in front of him, taking in her breathlessness, the rosy color to her cheeks, the way her arms encircled his neck as she stepped backwards out of the hotel room. Blood rushed to House's head, suffusing it with color. He remembered then that day when he'd been with Lucas and he'd pointed out that House had feelings for her, before challenging him to what House had then dismissed as a ridiculous bet. He said they'd race and see who got to her first. What lay before House's eyes confirmed that where he had failed, Lucas had not. They were obviously together. Hurt and shock intertwined. Cuddy had lied to him, he realized. If only by omitting the truth. There had been another reason why she wasn't interested. That reason was Lucas Douglas.

* * *

Cuddy glanced up and over right then, her eyes leaving Lucas and falling on House, standing there in the hallway, his eyes on the two of them, looking for all the world as if someone had died. She froze momentarily, Lucas oblivious to what was happening, and then she pushed him back into her room, shutting the door behind her. At first she had done so in fear of how House would react and how Lucas would feel if it led to a confrontation. But then she just felt horrified at herself for being so careless. Lucas had shown up, surprising her, hoping to take her out to dinner and to see the city as she had the afternoon and evening free. It hadn't been planned. In fact, she would have discouraged him, had she known his intentions.

When House had returned to work, she'd made it clear to Lucas that she wanted their relationship to remain under House's radar, at least until he'd recovered a bit from his stay at Mayfield. But Lucas had appeared at her hotel door with that puppy dog look and she couldn't turn him down when he'd driven all that way to be with her. It was too flattering. And after all, they were together. But all the same, she hadn't wanted House to know he was around. What now, she asked herself then. What was she supposed to do?

* * *

He had to get away. He had to escape right now. House turned and almost ran in the direction of the elevator, ignoring the twinge of pain as his leg protested his rapid motion.

The elevator doors opened and House went to enter, colliding with Wilson as he exited the elevator.

"Where are you headed in such a hurry?" Wilson asked in surprise, reaching out for House's arm to steady both of them.

"I need to get some air," House calmly replied, his voice somehow not belying his true emotions. "I'll see you in a little while."

Wilson looked at him for a moment but then shrugged, accepting House's statement at face value. "Okay, I'll probably be in my room. Look for me there."

House nodded and climbed into the waiting elevator, pushing the button quickly to close the doors and set it in motion.

* * *

Cuddy grabbed two handfuls of her hair, pulling on them as Lucas stared at her in confusion. "What's wrong?" he asked. He had not caught sight of House, as Cuddy had pulled him back into the hotel room before his attention could possibly have shifted from her to House.

"Nothing," Cuddy replied quickly, despite her obvious panicked state.

He raised an eyebrow but did not contradict her. Obviously something had happened a moment ago.

"Um…could you wait here for me a moment? I just realized I have something I need to do before we sneak away for a few hours," she asked, trying to bring herself back under control and mask her emotions from Lucas's observant eyes.

"Sure," he agreed, albeit hesitantly. "Go do what you have to do. I'll see what's on TV tonight in case there's something we want to watch," he suggested, his arms coming up to encircle her waist, contradicting his words indicating she was free to go.

"Alright," she agreed, removing herself from his arms almost immediately. She had to go and do damage control. Now.

Lucas watched her as she turned and left the room. He stared after her, long after the door closed, considering what had just happened and trying to piece the puzzle together. Something told him this had to do with House being here, at the same conference. He wondered if she planned to keep him hidden away and out of sight, like he was her dirty little secret. Lucas shook his head. He'd respect her wishes, but he didn't have to like it.

* * *

Wilson was walking back to his hotel room after exiting the elevator and his brief encounter with House, when he ran into an agitated Cuddy.

"Wilson, have you seen House?" she asked worriedly, as she approached him from the direction of her room.

"He said he needed to get some air. Probably went to the top floor to hunt for the door to the roof. You know how he is," he replied, his thoughts on the call he had just taken from a dying patient and completely oblivious that there was anything wrong.

"Thanks," Cuddy exhaled, squeezing his wrist briefly as she walked briskly past and headed for the elevators.

"No problem," Wilson called after her, slightly confused. What was going on, anyway? He shrugged and then thought to himself, well, maybe this conference was the best thing that could have happened to them. Maybe House and Cuddy will finally work things out, get their act together, and make it official. He removed his key from his pocket, smiling to himself at the thought that the two might return to PPTH a couple. It was about time.

* * *

House had indeed found the door to the rooftop and was currently perched on the ledge, looking down at the busy street far below him and the people who looked like ants from this distance. He was trying to concentrate on distancing himself from the situation in hopes of attaining clarity. He figured if he focused on the distance from one place to another, it might help him in his attempts with what he'd discovered regarding Cuddy. Or at the very least, perhaps remind him that this one moment in his life was just that. Just a moment. He figured if he could get beyond himself, maybe he could recognize that this wasn't the end of the road for him, and possibly not the end of the road for a personal relationship with Cuddy. But he was failing. All he could think of was what he'd seen. Cuddy is seeing Lucas, he thought for the hundredth time. And it's serious enough that she invited him here to be with her.

He was having a hard time grasping this piece of news, mainly because it had hit him out of nowhere. He felt so many things that he had a hard time separating them enough to figure out which emotion to deal with first. Hurt? Betrayal? Anger? What? What had happened?! He had plans! And what was she doing?! Hadn't she flirted with him just hours ago?! Or had it just been his imagination? Maybe wishful thinking? He groaned deeply, feeling like a part of him had been lopped off. He didn't want to see Cuddy for the remainder of the conference, he decided then. He couldn't leave, because it would look terrible and be a strike against him in the eyes of the board if he just up and left, bailing on his responsibilities. But he didn't want to see her. He couldn't see her. No, he wanted nothing more to do with her until he had sorted this mess out and knew all its parts and all the ways in which he had been misguided in loving her and mistaken in thinking he could change her view of him. It was all pointless.

House heard a noise and looked up to find Cuddy stepping out on the roof with him. This was the last thing he needed right now. He closed his eyes in pain, unable to bear the thought of looking at her, unconsciously swaying where he stood on the ledge.

"House, get down!" she yelled at him, alarmed at seeing him perched up there, so near to the edge.

"Go away, Cuddy. Just go away," he told her without meeting her eyes, waving her off and causing himself to waver even more in the spot where he was standing.

"House, just get down and talk to me," she pleaded, changing her tactic, semi-panicked by his apparent reaction to the news. She had known he was fragile! Why hadn't she been more careful? Why hadn't she pressed harder to keep Lucas from showing up unexpectedly?

He shook his head, his hands knotting at his sides. "I just want you to leave."

Cuddy sighed and shook her head, coming closer to him at a brisk pace, her heels resonating on the rooftop. "I'm not going anywhere until you get down from that ledge and talk with me."

House couldn't believe his terrible luck. He wished he'd chosen a different location to contemplate his life from. He wished he'd left the hotel completely. Recognizing that there was nothing for it, he stepped down, turning to her. Anger was the first emotion he grabbed onto. "You lied to me, Cuddy. All that crap about getting involved with each other not being professional and the truth is, you're in a relationship already. And with my P.I. guy at that."

Cuddy was flustered and defensive now that she was on the spot. "My personal life is none of your business, House! I can date who I want, when I want, and you have no say over it! I don't belong to you! And I don't care about your approval! I will do what I want!"

"He practically challenged me to a duel for your attention a year ago! Is that really the kind of guy you want to be with?!" he shouted, pointing towards the door of the rooftop as if Lucas was there.

She reeled back, caught off guard by his accusation, but then she shook her head to clear it. "I don't care what he said a year ago! We are in a relationship! And it's wonderful! He's good to me and he cares for Rachel!"

"Come on Cuddy! You don't need to settle for him!" House declared, irritated by her statements regarding how good she had it.

"Oh? I'm settling, am I? And who would be better for me? You?" she asked scathingly.

"Yeah," he hotly replied. "I would be!"

"You know what? This is ridiculous House! You had your fair share of chances to pursue something with me and I wasn't worth your time," she argued, trying to hide the hurt from her voice at the last part of what she'd said.

"That's not true, Cuddy! I just wasn't ready!" House exclaimed, trying to counter her words.

"You are NEVER ready, House! And… And I am done with you! In case I haven't made this clear enough, I stopped waiting for you a while ago! And…and I don't have to explain anything to you! I am happy with him! That's more than I can say for anything you and I ever shared!"

House looked stunned but then roughly negated her words. "You were happy once with me."

"Was I?" she asked quietly, challenging him. "Was I happy?"

He nodded, saddened that she could even ask that.

"It doesn't matter, House," she finally said, looking away. "There's nothing between you and I now."

"That's a lie, Cuddy," he said seriously, and when she turned back to him to deny his words, he took a few steps forward bringing himself to her. Before she could react, he reached for her, hauling her against his frame, his mouth descending on hers to give her a kiss full of emotion and sizzling heat. She responded for a moment, allowing him to deepen it as she clutched to him tightly. But then she realized what she was doing and shoved him away, wrenching their mouths apart.

"Get away from me," she hissed in anger, genuinely upset with herself for allowing him to kiss her like that.

"You can't deny that there is something between us, Cuddy," House said softly, his eyes imploring her to acknowledge it.

"There's nothing between us," she negated again, her tone fierce as she backed further away from him. "You could never be someone I'd want to spend the rest of my life with."

He stared at her, trying to read her and know whether or not she really believed that. Several minutes passed before he broke the silence stretching between them. "Sad, isn't it?" he asked at length, his expression somber.

She looked at him for a minute and then sighed and finally asked, "What?"

"That you stood by me all these years, through the infarction, me chasing everyone else away, the Vicodin abuse, numerous close calls with death, Tritter. That you were willing to give me a job and allow me back here after being institutionalized. That you once wasted your breath giving me mouth to mouth resuscitation. All of that. And yet you never believed in me. I don't know who's more pathetic, you for sticking it out, obviously wasting your time, or me for believing a delusion and thinking all this time, that you could save me and that someday, you'd think it all worthwhile." He turned and moved away from her, heading back in the direction of the ledge as he tried to get control of himself, deeply wounded.

Cuddy wasn't sure if he was striking out at her, trying to manipulate her, or if he really believed all the times she'd been there for him in the past really had been a waste. She couldn't think of anything to say, just standing there, staring at him.

"You'll never be happy with Lucas, Cuddy," he pronounced after a moment, knowing she'd hear him despite having his back to her. "Oh, you'll try to be. And he'll do his best to make you happy. But in the end, it won't last. You suck at relationships. You're just as much of a screw-up as I am. And Lucas is not as great a prize as you think he is. He's not even your type. Whatever you think you've got with Lucas, it'll never last."

"You know what?" she calmly said, though inwardly she was crushed, experiencing a mess of emotions. "Just jump already and get it over with! I'm not dealing with this anymore. I'm done."

He spun back in her direction, suddenly afraid that she really was done with him because of the vehemence of her words. She was storming away from him, leaving him there, and his resolve crumbled. "Cuddy, wait! Don't leave!" he called after her, the neediness in his voice surprising him. But if she heard him, she chose not to stop. He watched the door shut behind her, upset with himself for driving her away. Why did he always have to strike out at her like this? Why did his filter always fail when something happened with Cuddy? It was as if she brought out the worst in him. And yet he wanted her – wanted to be with her. He tried to show her that with his kiss. There was no one else. Just Cuddy. And yet it always came back to this. They'd be fighting and it was like they were both trying their hardest to be the victor, battling to the finish. But no matter who won, in the end, they both lost.

-----

"_**(Da da da da  
da da da da  
Da da da da da)  
I don't know if I can yell any louder  
How many times have I kicked you outta here?  
Or said something insulting?**_

_**(Da da da da da)  
I can be so mean when I wanna be  
I am capable of really anything  
I could cut you into pieces  
When my heart is broken**_

_**(Da da da da da)  
Please don't leave me  
Please don't leave me**_

_**I always say how I don't need you  
But it's always gonna come right back to this  
Please don't leave me**_

_**How did I become so obnoxious?  
What is it with you that makes me act like this?  
I've never been this nasty  
Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?  
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest**_

_**But baby, I don't mean it  
I mean it, I promise**_

_**(Da da da da da)  
Please don't leave me  
Please don't leave me (don't leave me)**_

_**I always say how I don't need you  
But it's always gonna come right back to this  
Please don't leave me**_

_**I forgot to say out loud  
How beautiful you really are to me  
I can't be without  
You're my perfect little punching bag  
And I need you**_

_**I'm sorry  
(Da da da da  
da da da da  
Da da da da da)**_

_**Please, please don't leave me  
Baby, please, don't leave me  
(No, never leave me)  
Please don't leave me**_

_**(I always say)  
I always say how I don't need you  
But it's always gonna come right back to this  
Please don't leave me  
Please don't leave me**_

_**I always say how I don't need you  
But it's always gonna come right back to this  
Please don't leave me**_

_**Baby, please, please don't leave me...."**_

* * *

Song: "Please Don't Leave Me" (Pink)


	7. A Friend To Me

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Man, I'm not getting many reviews. I hope I'm not the only one enjoying this story! Oh!! I have written SO many chapters already for this story but this is still one of my favorites - just cause I love Wilson in this one. :) I hope you guys enjoy him too!)_

* * *

Wilson had come out to go down and find out if there was any information about the movie tonight available in the conference room when he watched Cuddy silently stalk past him, struggle several times with the key to her hotel room, and then fling the door open before slamming it behind her. He paused, his eyebrows raised in concern. What was going on here?! Thinking he better find out, he jogged quickly in the direction of the elevators, hoping to catch the one Cuddy had just exited from before it left the floor. He figured it was better to find House and work out what had happened than to come up against Cuddy in the foul mood she appeared to be in, especially when she'd automatically react as if his loyalties were always with House.

Making it in time, he stepped in and then prodded the top button. Once off the elevator, he had to walk a few hallways before he found the flight of stairs leading to the exit door. There was a sign indicating that it was supposed to be locked at all times. Obviously House had picked the lock, leaving it open behind him. Wilson hesitated for a moment but reluctantly gave it a shove, stepping out onto the roof. He looked around for House and quickly spotted him. He almost had a heart attack right then. House was walking along the narrow ledge, almost as if he was on a tightrope. He wasn't even walking all that straight. It was more as if he was hobbling along with no cane in hand to aide his balance. Wilson spotted the cane lying on the concrete nearby and then focused on House.

He started immediately in that direction, but as he got closer he realized how very far up from the pavement they were and began to feel ill. He had never been good with heights. Wilson didn't want to scare his friend, terrified that if he startled him, House would lose his balance and plummet to his death. "House," he called tentatively.

House looked up and noticed him. "Hey Wilson," he replied grimly, his voice falling flat.

"What are you doing?" Wilson inquired with a mixture of fear and trepidation in his voice.

"Practicing for the circus," he answered, but there was no grin accompanying his words to indicate that House was just goofing off. There wasn't even a trace of humor to his tone.

"Could you get down from there?" Wilson asked, beginning to sweat profusely due to his phobia of heights and the way his body was reacting to watching House on the wall.

House stopped moving, but turned his feet in the direction of the street so that he was facing away from his buddy. He didn't want Wilson to see how hard this had hit him. His shoulders fell and he sighed. "My life's over," House murmured, so low that Wilson almost didn't hear him over the traffic below.

Wilson didn't know what to do. His legs were shaking uncontrollably now, but he had to do something. He was overwhelmed with this awareness that something unknown to him and yet obviously critical had taken place between House and Cuddy. He prayed that it wouldn't be the one thing that succeeded in pushing House over the edge, both figuratively and literally, beyond what he could come back from. House had just returned from Mayfield a few months ago. He had tried and was trying so hard to get his life back together. Now, seeing House up on the ledge, a few inches from a brush with death, Wilson worried he had missed just how fragile House continued to be. What could possibly have happened to bring him to this? He suddenly felt guilt clawing at him. After House had gone to Mayfield, he had had a lot of time to think through what had brought his best friend to the breaking point. Wilson couldn't help but feel partly responsible. After all, House's brain had gone through a lot of trauma in the last year, especially during the bus crash and the hours that followed. He couldn't believe now that he had asked his best friend to risk his life for his dying girlfriend, without a single moment of hesitation, and yet House had willingly done so, worsening the head trauma and almost dying in the process. And they'd never even talked about it. In fact, Wilson had walked away from him when House probably needed him most, and then even when he returned, he had never apologized for any of it. While House could have hallucinated anyone when the Vicodin use got out of hand, his mind had selected Amber. The reality of that fact troubled Wilson; it had been troubling him, ever since. Because it reminded him of all the things that had gone unsaid between the two of them since Amber's death. Was he about to lose his best friend too now?

Wilson sank to the concrete rooftop and began to crawl in House's direction, trying to ignore the distant sound of traffic on the road below. "Talk to me," he managed to say calmly as he continued towards House, creeping along the rooftop.

"There's nothing to talk about," House replied, his voice indifferent even though his defeatist body language and words from a moment before were conveying a different story to Wilson.

"Why are you up there?" he prompted, gradually reducing the distance between them from twenty feet to fifteen feet as he moved along on his hands and knees.

House was in his own world, totally oblivious to Wilson's plight as his eyes continued to focus on the activity below him. "I came up here to think, like I always do."

"What are you thinking about?" He was about ten feet away, but he was moving inch by inch now, his terror slowing him down.

"Cuddy and I," House answered honestly.

"What about you two?" Wilson asked, his voice uneven.

If House noticed this, he didn't show it. "She was up here a little bit ago. We…well, things didn't go so great. In the end she told me to jump already and then stormed off. I couldn't stop her from walking away."

House said it all so matter-of-factly that Wilson really didn't know if he'd be able to convince House that there was still hope for the situation, no matter what had happened between them. He needed to reach his friend before it was too late. A fist of fury at Cuddy's words curled in his belly. She told him to jump already?! She just…walked away?! He'd kill her! Assuming he survived this. He was practically lying on the cement now.

The thought gave Wilson the energy to clamber the last few feet and then he turned and parked his back up to the wall about three feet down and to the left of House, averting his eyes as he was unable to look at the street below. The wall bordering the rooftop was only a foot high and Wilson knew that if he turned his head even a few inches, he would see the drop and be physically ill. He was sucking ragged breaths in and this finally caught House's attention.

House pivoted, which Wilson saw out of the corner of his eye. In that moment Wilson lost it, dry-heaving because he hadn't eaten anything yet that day out of nerves from speaking this morning, planning to wait for the buffet dinner that night.

House was so shocked that he just stood there watching his friend in concern. "Are you alright?" he asked a moment later.

"Could you get down from there?" Wilson gasped out, sweat just pouring from him now.

House frowned but stepped down as requested, kneeling uncomfortably beside his friend, a hand on his shoulder. "Wilson, what is wrong with you?"

"Heights," he finally got out, in between deep breaths. He reached up and locked his fingers around House's wrist before allowing his eyes to close tightly shut.

"I think we better get you inside," House finally stated, rather concerned.

"I don't think I can move," Wilson replied, his voice pinched.

"I'm going to take a step away from the wall and I want you to crawl after me until you feel comfortable getting up. Keep your eyes closed if you have to and listen to my feet shuffle forward or open them once you are on all fours, focusing on the concrete," he instructed, taking control of the situation now that he'd sized it up.

Wilson nodded, eyes still squeezed shut, but he did not release his lock on House's hand. A moment passed before House prompted him, "You have to release my hand so I can pick up my cane from where I set it."

He did so after a moment, peeling his fingers away slowly, and House picked up his cane before shuffling backwards, watching Wilson crawl after him. The whole situation would have been hilarious if he didn't feel so bad for his poor, terrified buddy. Obviously heights were part of the problem, but had that been exacerbated by Wilson actually concluding that House was planning to jump? While Cuddy had suggested it and his brain had actually imagined it for the slightest second, he had never for a moment intended to do any such thing. He couldn't help but feel guilty for scaring Wilson. When they had moved about twenty feet from the edge, House said, "Do you think you can get up now?"

Wilson opened his eyes and realized that he couldn't see over the edge from any direction in his immediate vicinity. House extended his hand and braced himself for Wilson to pull himself to a stand. He actually was very careful to not pull on House, but the minute he was upright he did not let go, dragging House to the door and off the roof almost too fast for House to keep up without falling. The minute the door closed behind them and they reached the bottom of the stairs, Wilson's arms came around him in a fierce hug.

House wasn't even sure how to react to this. He endured the embrace, finally patting Wilson on the back awkwardly in an attempt to reassure him. Wilson began to dry sob in earnest and then House really didn't know what to do. He stood there in Wilson's embrace, stiff as a board, his alarmed eyes as far open as they could be. After a couple minutes he'd had enough and gruffly murmured, "Jeez, Wilson. Get a hold of yourself."

Wilson just hugged him tighter.

"Can't. Breathe," House forced out in a high-pitched voice. Eventually his friend relaxed his hold before releasing him altogether. "You're going to make me question your status of being straight," he teased him in an attempt to ease Wilson's stress about what had happened.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again," Wilson scolded harshly.

House just stared at him and finally nodded at length. He turned then and popped a bobby pin in the door, twisting it around until the lock slid back into place. Finally he pivoted and walked off down the hall in the direction of the elevator, Wilson silently following behind.

"You were scared I was going to jump?" House quizzically inquired once the elevator arrived and they had stepped within, despite already knowing the answer.

Wilson just nodded in confirmation, too upset to speak.

The elevator arrived at their floor and they exited in the direction of their rooms. House and Wilson saw Cuddy leaving her room and about to come towards them then, but while House slowed his steps, Wilson charged her. House was so taken aback that he came to a standstill. Apparently Cuddy was thrown off by it too because her feet faltered on the ground as she floundered, not sure what was about to happen.

And then Wilson was yelling at her, "You told him to jump?! To jump?! A man who just got out a psych hospital a few months ago?!" Even House was scared by Wilson's reaction, beginning to move in his direction as fast as he could limp along.

"I…I…" Cuddy began, clearly panicked.

"If you weren't a woman, so help me I'd hit you right now!" Wilson shouted. And then as if it was happening in slow motion, House had a flashback and processed what was coming next, right as it occurred.

There was a small table in the hallway right to the left of where Wilson was standing and he was reaching out and snatching up the vase that sat there. Before House could call out and either warn Cuddy, or attempt to stop Wilson, he had chucked it over her shoulder and at the glass window behind her, completely shattering it as Cuddy skittishly jumped aside and out of the way.

House reached the two of them then, even as the door to her room flew open and Lucas looked out.

"What's going on? Lisa, are you okay?" Lucas asked, his brow furrowed.

House felt sick to his stomach, just hearing him address Cuddy so familiarly.

Wilson stared at Lucas, immediately recognizing him despite how long it had been since he'd laid eyes on the guy, and then his eyes narrowed before he turned his attention to Cuddy, eyes flashing in outrage. "You brought a man with you? You are seeing _him_?" he stormed, stalking towards her now. "You would do this?! Just rub it in House's face like this?!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa there, Jimmy boy," House soothed, stepping between them with an arm up to hold Wilson back. Looking over his shoulder at Cuddy, he quietly ordered, "Go to your room, Cuddles." She inhaled her bewilderment, but for once she didn't waste a second, hurrying back in the direction of her room and Lucas waiting in the doorway for her there, casting a glance back at them before she tugged him into the room and shut the door firmly behind them, the lock clicking into place.

"How dare she!" Wilson muttered murderously, glaring at House.

House backed away, arms and cane in the air. "Don't hurt the cripple, Jimmy." He actually found this kind of amusing in a way. And embarrassing. But it made him feel a little better. This also showed the extent to which Wilson must really have been scared. Either that or he felt guilty about something. But no, that didn't make much sense.

Wilson fumed a moment, looking down the hallway in the direction of Cuddy's room. House's gaze shifted to the window just beyond it. He sighed then and grabbed Wilson's arm. "Come on." House stepped over to his hotel room door and unlocked it, Wilson stalking in after him. House gave him a stern look and pointed to the bed, indicating that he should have a seat and cool down.

Reaching for the phone, House dialed the front desk and asked for the manager. A moment later House heard the phone being passed on. "This is Bill Daly speaking, general manager on duty today."

"Yeah, this is Dr. Greg House in room 619. I'm afraid I just lost my balance in the hallway and fell into the table outside my room. I walk with a cane. I think it just got entangled in a loose part of the carpeting or something." If you wanted to get out of consequences, House's philosophy was that it was always a good idea to make it look like their fault. "Anyway, the vase on the table went flying and I tried to make a dive to save it but with my bad leg, I collapsed and accidentally kicked it. I sent it crashing through the glass at the end of the hallway. I am so very sorry and I'm more than willing to pay the cost to repair the window. I just thought you'd better send someone up to pick up the glass before anyone else gets hurt," House lied easily, rolling his eyes at Wilson.

"I am so sorry to hear that, sir. Of course I will send someone up right away. We were about to send someone to your floor anyhow because there was a report of shouting," the general manager replied.

"Yes, that was my friend, Dr. Wilson. He…was very concerned that I had hurt myself and well, he gets a little overprotective. He was yelling at me for my carelessness out of fear that I had further injured my leg," House informed him, doing his best to appear horribly embarrassed, which really wasn't too hard because he was indeed a little embarrassed by Wilson's behavior over the last hour.

"Should I send a doctor up to you, sir?" Mr. Daly then asked in concern.

"No, it won't be necessary. I think I just need to soak my leg for a while and then I will be okay. Besides, I've got Dr. Wilson here with me in case I need medical attention. Please don't worry about me at all," he reassured.

"Alright, sir. My crew is on their way up to deal with the window. We'll come up with a temporary solution and then call the glass company and see when they will be available to fix it."

"Thank you so much, Mr. Daly. I really appreciate it. Again, feel free to send me the invoice for the cost of the glass," House offered again, figuring even if they took him up on the offer, Wilson would be the one to pay it.

"Oh, that won't be necessary, Dr. House. We just really appreciate that you called it in and that you aren't hurt. Insurance will cover the glass," Mr. Daly reassured. "Please, put your mind to rest on this matter."

"Well, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your kindness," House went on, self-deprecatingly. "Thank you so very much. Goodbye then." And with that, he hung up the phone and turned to Wilson, smiling wryly. "Wilson," he muttered, pointing a finger at him. "So help me…If I have to lock you up in my hotel room to keep you from getting arrested before the end of this conference…"

Just then he registered the sound of his cell phone going off from the direction of the nightstand across the room, letting him know he had a voice message. He turned from Wilson to go around the bed. Scrolling to his recent calls, he saw he'd missed a call from Nolan. He wondered what that was about. Could this day possibly get any more convoluted? Before he could hit the button to dial voicemail, his phone began to ring. House rolled his eyes. Apparently Nolan wasn't about to give up.

He flipped it open. "House of Horrors," he declared gleefully, his voice traced with dry wit.

"I'm glad to hear you are alright," Dr. Nolan greeted, knowing House knew who it was calling him.

"What are you talking about?" House asked in confusion.

"Your boss called. I think she thought I needed to do another psych eval on you. She called about 45 minutes ago and said you were up on the roof of the hotel, threatening to jump," Nolan explained dryly.

House gritted his teeth. "I NEVER threatened to jump!" he negated. "I was doing some thinking up on the ledge. It was not a cry for help! I was perfectly safe. I used to be an athlete you know. Despite the leg, I do have decent coordination, unless I'm on something or drunk. I was neither."

"She seemed to think you were possibly trying to manipulate her," Nolan continued, not minding the reality that this would more irritate House than cause him to reconsider what he'd done to scare Dr. Cuddy.

"You CANNOT be SERIOUS!" House replied in consternation. "I was NOT trying to do any such thing!"

"Okay," Nolan accepted.

"Okay? That's it?" Sometimes he just didn't understand Nolan at all.

"Yeah. That's it," he said calmly.

"Wait…She called you 45 minutes ago and you are only now succeeding in contacting me?! You didn't care enough to call the hotel and have someone race up there to give me the phone so you could…talk me down?! What kind of a psych ward director are you?" House inquired, mildly offended by that.

"I talked to you four days ago," Nolan replied, shrugging it off. "You were perfectly fine then. What can happen in four days to bring you to that? You've said yourself, miserable and alive beats miserable and dead. Believe it or not, I have ACTUALLY considered the idea that some people misread and misjudge you."

House snickered, shaking his head before exhaling. "Want to grab dinner next week? You can pick the restaurant and I'll meet you halfway? If you're willing to listen, I'll treat."

Nolan laughed. "Sounds like a plan. How about Tuesday night? I'll e-mail you the directions to the restaurant, once I've settled on one."

"Works for me," House replied, hanging up without saying goodbye.

He turned to find Wilson staring at him glumly. "What was that about?" he asked, only slightly interested.

"Apparently Cuddy, like you, jumped to the conclusion that I was going to off myself. She called my shrink," House informed him.

But it seemed Wilson wasn't up for conversation involving Cuddy just yet, as his mouth set in a firm line and he glared in the direction of the door.

House exhaled, shaking his head. This was going to be an interesting couple of days.

* * *

It was dinner time and House and Wilson were in the elevator on their way down to the lobby and the banquet hall beyond, where everyone attending the conference was to take their meals. They hadn't spoken much, mainly because House correctly assessed Wilson's disinterest in talking about the latest happenings of the day. He didn't mind though. He wasn't eager to talk about it either. They had passed the last hour watching TV, only interrupted once by a hotel staff member who came by to check on House while the window was being worked on. House had made a big deal of limping dramatically out to check on how it was going and apologize once more before returning to Wilson.

"Hey House?" Wilson said as they both stood within the elevator waiting for the doors to open on the ground floor.

"Yes?" he replied, looking his way.

"Bro's before ho's?" he said seriously, eyes centered on the elevator doors.

House smiled, knowing this was Wilson's way of supporting him in this. "Yeah," he murmured. "Bro's before ho's."

-----

"_**Well you and I, we're buddies **_

_**And we've been since we first met**_

_**Me and you, well we've sure been through**_

_**Our share of laughter and regret**_

_**Lord knows we've had our bad days **_

_**And more than once we've disagreed **_

_**But you've always been a friend to me**_

_**You can be so stubborn **_

_**There's times I think you just like to fight **_

_**And I hope and pray I live to see a day **_

_**When you say I might be right**_

_**And there's times I'd rather kill you **_

_**Than listen to your honesty **_

_**But you've always been a friend to me **_

_**You've always been **_

_**Time and again **_

_**The one to take my hand **_

_**And show to me it's okay to be **_

_**Just the way I am **_

_**With no apology **_

_**Oh you've always been **_

_**And you will 'till God knows when **_

_**Yes you've always been a friend to me"**_

* * *

Song: "A Friend To Me" (Garth Brooks)


	8. Better That We Break

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

House got up early the next morning to get ready, surprised to realize he was actually looking forward to speaking. Just to spite Cuddy, he called Wilson over to join him and then ordered room service rather than going down to the breakfast bar the hotel had set up for them. For once, Wilson didn't complain about the expense. In fact, House was pretty sure Wilson wanted to sock it to her, just as much, if not more than House himself did. Granted, it would come out of the hospital's pocket, rather than Cuddy's, but still, she was going to be inconvenienced a bit by having to fill out paperwork for each and every expense.

Despite his wounded feelings and hurt pride, he really looked forward to having Cuddy present for his session today. He had abandoned his first topic in favor of one specifically chosen because it was near and dear to her; one he remembered because they had been together back when she'd encountered it in med school. Even twenty some years later, he could picture her as she'd been then and how she'd cried in his arms because they'd found her young patient too late, certainly about to die, all alone. She had been there when the patient slipped away, a little girl who had been abandoned by her mother in a run-down building, much the same as Rachel had, though the child had been several years old by then. Now, with modern medicine, they were finally starting to see some success in treatment, even in cases as severe as that little girl's had been. He had planned the session out as a…well, almost an "Ode to Cuddy," pouring more time and thought into it than he'd intended. Before his discovery regarding Lucas, he had thought of this as his crowning glory in his attempt to use this conference to soften Cuddy's resolve towards him, assuming she realized what he was thinking about. He was positive she would. And then she'd know that he remembered, that he still thought about those days, that he had never forgotten why she'd chosen endocrinology for her specialty.

He smiled contentedly as he and Wilson made their way down to the lobby. But when the doors opened, he was glancing around casually when he saw Cuddy and Lucas thirty yards away, walking out the front doors of the hotel hand in hand. Wilson didn't notice and had already headed in the direction of the conference room they were using, but House watched them go until they were out of sight, waves of hurt and anger sweeping over him in turn. So things hadn't gone that well between them yesterday, he thought to himself; she still should have attended. It was his first speaking engagement since he'd been out of Mayfield. She was his boss! That was her job! But no, she skipped to go be with lover boy. Well, it was nice to see how much she DIDN'T care about him. Thanks for the support, Cuddy, he thought bitterly.

"Are you coming?" Wilson called, noticing that House was no longer with him and turning back to wait for him.

House shook himself and wiped his face of all emotion. "Yeah, I'm coming."

He quickly strode over to Wilson and they entered together, Wilson sitting near the front, while House went up on stage to take his seat and await his introduction. Right as his name was called, House abruptly decided to change topics, switching to the subject that he had first prepared for but which he had then decided not to use in favor of his personal selection, chosen with Cuddy and their past in mind. But, he thought wryly, at least he was brilliant. There was not a doubt in his mind that he could pull the switch off, even without any of his notes on hand. As his topic wasn't disclosed in the conference brochure, no one would be the wiser.

* * *

House finished a little early, staying around after the applause had died to shake hands with those who sought him out to either congratulate him on a great session or to delve a bit more into his mind. Wilson hung around, noticing that House had lost his enthusiasm from earlier in the morning. Something told him that House hadn't spoken on the topic he had planned to. And it hadn't escaped his notice that Cuddy hadn't even bothered to show up. He'd bet money both were related. Wrath rose up and clenched at his belly, its claws digging in deep. He waited until the last person shook House's hand and then departed, before going to join House, offering a perfunctory slap on the back. He was too upset to know how to respond in a more reassuring way.

House raised an eyebrow, not deceived. "It sucked that bad?"

Wilson shook his head. "No. You did great. But it wasn't the topic you had planned for, was it?"

He sighed, knowing Wilson would read him like that. "You know me too well," he finally huffed.

"I'm going to report her to the board," Wilson declared, quite serious.

House shook his head. "No. It's not worth it. Just let it go."

Wilson was silent for a moment. "Want me to throw something?" he asked then, only half-joking as he attempted to distract House. "You could come bail me out of jail if you want."

He laughed and asked, "You think they'd let me use Cuddy's credit card number for bail money?"

"It's worth a shot," Wilson answered, pausing to contemplate how they could pull that one off.

House bit back a smile. "You're a good friend, Wilson."

"You haven't even heard my plans for once we get back to PPTH," he informed him gravely. "I was thinking maybe throwing water balloons full of sickly-hued paint at her car. Or scrawling her home phone number on the inside of each stall in the men's room at a bar or two, with a note saying to call for a good time."

"Or we could send naked photos of Cuddy to the members of the board," House contributed half-heartedly, knowing that Wilson was trying his best to cheer him.

Wilson looked at him, thoroughly baffled. "You have naked pictures of Cuddy?"

"No, but I know a P.I. who might," he replied before he could process the implications. House sighed heavily then before looking away.

"Maybe a few drinks are in order," Wilson suggested after a moment, aware that House was quickly becoming depressed.

"But I don't drink anymore," House reminded him, disheartened that he couldn't even self-destruct properly now.

"Yeah, that was definitely one of your stupider decisions," Wilson agreed.

House smiled at that but then pointed to the door. "Let's go see what's on the menu for lunch. If it sucks, we'll order steaks up in the room."

"Sounds like a plan," Wilson concurred, following House from the conference room.

* * *

The rest of the conference dragged by. House spent most of his time closely watching Wilson for fear of a mutiny. They would sit far away from wherever Cuddy was during sessions and mealtimes, House trying to ignore her presence while Wilson gave her hostile looks every time their eyes met. Cuddy would always quickly look away. House was just thankful that he never laid eyes on Lucas again after seeing them slip out Sunday morning. He assumed that meant Lucas had gone home, having only intended to come down for one night. One night too many, House thought, but what could he really do about it? The last session was Monday morning and House and Wilson had the car all loaded up and ready to go so that they could leave the minute the clock hit eleven, signaling the end of the conference. When it was over, they went straight to the front desk, turning in their keys, not bothering to let Cuddy know they were heading out. They pulled out of the parking lot and drove home, neither one saying a word the whole way.

* * *

House and Wilson happened to be at the front desk in PPTH at the same time the next morning when one of the board members, Thomas Patterson, entered to meet with Dr. Cuddy. The nurse at the front desk rang her to let her know he was waiting for her up front and she exited the clinic just as he spotted House and Wilson. He headed in their direction and Cuddy drew her shoulders back, having no choice but to follow.

Tom saw her just as he reached the two men, turning to her in greeting. "Dr. Cuddy, how nice to see you! And you, gentlemen! How was the conference?"

House deferred to Cuddy, who looked horrified but then pulled herself together. "It was excellent," Cuddy told him quickly, afraid of what Wilson or House would say if she didn't answer first. "The speakers were very well-informed and each of the major hospitals attending, well-represented." Even to herself she sounded overly serious and insincere.

"And how did Dr. House's presentation go?" he asked then, looking at her with interest. He had always been a big fan of Dr. House, though he knew his personality often grated on some of the other board member's nerves.

Before she could speak, Wilson addressed the question, obviously still in a bad mood about everything. "She wouldn't know. She wasn't there."

Patterson looked at Wilson quickly and then at Cuddy, clearly taken aback. House cringed, shooting Wilson a look to keep his mouth closed. He didn't like it but his jaw clenched and his lips formed a tight line, respecting House's unspoken command.

"Something came up," Cuddy said apologetically, hoping that he'd let it slide and she wouldn't have to explain further. She hoped neither House nor Wilson knew where she had gone.

"I assume it was important?" he asked then, his voice stern. He didn't like the idea that she had jumped ship when Dr. House had only recently returned from being institutionalized, even if he did seem to have everything on the ball now.

"Of course it was," House spoke up, surprising even himself. "Dr. Cuddy would never be so unprofessional as to not attend, unless it was something important that required her immediate attention." He didn't know why he was defending her, but he did it anyway. His words would still serve as a barb in Cuddy's mind, just one that would slide under the board member's radar. Wilson glared his way and Cuddy stared intently at him for a moment, clearly guilt-stricken, before she drew her shoulders back and finally found her tongue.

"Yes, it was. I had hoped to be back in time to attend but there was an emergency at the hospital and I didn't get off the phone from doing damage control until long after the session was over." Three out of the four of them knew that was crap, but neither House, nor Wilson contradicted her.

Patterson nodded, accepting her words. Turning to Wilson, he asked, "But you were there, I assume? How did it go?"

"Very well," Wilson assured. "Dr. House had to stay an extra half an hour to answer questions and shake hands. Everyone present was very impressed."

Patterson stuck his hand out then to shake hands with Dr. House. "Congratulations, Dr. House. I am looking forward to having you back as Head of Diagnostics, by the way."

"Thank you," House replied politely, feeling Cuddy's eyes upon him and shifting uncomfortably.

Turning to Cuddy, Tom asked, "Shall we meet in your office?"

She nodded, glancing back at House and Wilson as she walked away with the board member. They watched her go and then both of them exchanged a look, Wilson annoyed and House shrugging indifferently before they turned to head upstairs, as Wilson had a patient scheduled for a consult in ten minutes and House was planning to check in with Foreman before logging some clinic hours.

* * *

House was exiting an examination room when Cuddy approached the clinic. He saw her and quickly dropped off the file before grabbing another one, calling out the patient's name and limping hurriedly into another room. The patient followed him in and he took his time, gathering useless information as he already knew what the problem was. But when he escorted the patient out twenty minutes later, handing him a prescription to fill, Cuddy was waiting and moved towards him.

"I'm kind of busy here, Dr. Cuddy," he informed her without meeting her eyes, side-stepping her as he headed for the desk to hand off the patient file and pick up another one.

She reached out her hand, catching his arm and effectively stopping him in his tracks. "Thank you," she murmured softly, unable to meet his piercing gaze.

"You didn't deserve it," he muttered harshly, unable to keep the words at bay.

"No, I didn't," she agreed quietly, not quite ready to release his arm.

He watched her intently and then glanced away when he spoke next. "You're my boss, Cuddy. You should have been there, even if only for that reason. Instead you skip off into the sunset with your boy toy," he told her, his voice reflecting his hurt. He knew he should shut up while he was ahead, but it was too late. The words were already pouring out of his mouth. "I needed your support. I needed you to do your job! Thanks for sealing the deal and finding a creative way to express how very unimportant I am to you," he finished, jerking free and calling out the patient's name, his tone gruff, causing the patient to flinch as he got to his feet and followed House.

Cuddy sighed and watched him swiftly limp away, her heart heavy. The door to the exam room slammed closed behind him and the nurses at the desk all looked up in surprise before shrugging and going back to their work. Cuddy thought about going after him but she really didn't know what she could say to undo what she'd done. Professionally, she had known it was the wrong move even as she'd done it, but she'd walked away with Lucas regardless, figuring neither House nor Wilson would want her around anyway. Cuddy hurried back to her office instead, fighting to keep the tears at bay. Things just seemed to get worse and worse between them, she thought then, dabbing at her eyes in hopes of salvaging her face from mascara streaks. She didn't know how this was going to end, but she suddenly felt that when it did, it wouldn't end well.

* * *

House went home that night, throwing his coat on the floor before entering the living room to collapse on the couch. He hadn't seen Cuddy since that moment in the clinic, but it hadn't kept her from his thoughts. He felt like a complete fool for being so transparent in the clinic when she approached him. But the truth was, he had been so wounded and loved her so completely that in the moment he couldn't NOT say what he was feeling. He'd received an e-mail from Nolan, with directions to the restaurant they'd be having dinner at on Thursday. He figured he'd talk to him about this, but he didn't really want to. He was done, he decided. She was right. They were better off apart. Now he just had to figure out how to obliterate her from his heart. How did one do that? And without alcohol, he amended, if he was going to stick to Nolan's instructions. House had a hard time falling asleep that night, his leg hurting more than usual.

-----

"_**I never knew perfection 'til  
I heard you speak, and now it kills me**_

_**Just to hear you say the simple things  
Now waking up is hard to do  
And sleeping is impossible too  
Everything is reminding me of you  
What can I do?**_

It's not right, not OK  
Say the words that you say  
Maybe we're better off this way?  
I'm not fine, I'm in pain  
It's harder every day  
Maybe we're better off this way?  
It's better that we break…

A fool to let you slip away  
I chase you just to hear you say  
You're scared and that you think that I'm insane

The city look so nice from here  
Pity I can't see it clearly  
While you're standing there, it disappears  
It disappears

It's not right, not OK  
Say the words that you say

Maybe we're better off this way?  
I'm not fine, I'm in pain  
It's harder every day  
Maybe we're better off this way?  
It's better that we break

Saw you sitting all alone  
You're fragile and you're cold, but that's all right  
Life these days is getting rough  
They've knocked you down and beat you up  
But it's just a rollercoaster anyway, yeah

It's not right, not OK  
Say the words that you say  
Maybe we're better off this way?  
I'm not fine, I'm in pain  
It's harder every day  
Maybe we're better off this way?

I'm not fine, not OK  
Say the words that you say  
Maybe we're better off this way?

I'm not fine, I'm in pain  
It's harder everyday  
Maybe we're better off this way?  
It's better that we break, baby"

* * *

Song: "Better That We Break" (Maroon 5)


	9. A Little Too Not Over You

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Man, what an episode! I LOVED Chase and how he "apologized" to House, basically saying it was a great way to get everyone off his back about Cameron! That was really great writing! And I loved how even before that, House blamed it on tripping over an ottoman in order to save Chase's butt! I LOVE that House can be such a jerk at times and yet be so protective of those he cares about, even accepting their "abuse" without question (Yes, I know. He gives it right back ten-fold, but usually, jerks are jerks and they can't take the heat when it's thrown back at them. That isn't House. He's a jerk more as a method of protecting himself from getting hurt than just because he's a jerk). And Taub's comment when he took House's picture!! So great! I can't remember the exact wording - "We'll start with t-shirts and...see how it goes." Loved it! But I'll admit, my heart just broke when House walked into Cuddy's sister's house to find that no one was home. I cannot imagine ever being so cruel to someone, no matter how I felt about them, as to send them to an empty house three hours away on Thanksgiving and then add insult to injury by having the house sitter offer them a turkey sandwich! So cruel! Oh, Cuddles! What to do with you?)_

_(Giving you two chapters today! Hope you like! Thanks for your comments! I love knowing when you enjoy a chap!)_

* * *

Mid-November, 2009

During the weeks following the conference, House completely resigned himself to Cuddy's decision to be with Lucas. It was made somewhat easier in that the week after their return from the conference he came in one morning to find a gift-wrapped rectangular box on his desk. When he opened it, inside he found the paperwork reinstating his medical license, along with a revised job description that basically gave him back all of what he'd lost in having to go to Mayfield. He had smiled then, because as consolation prizes go, it was probably the best thing he could have been given. Foreman happily relinquished his position as Interim Head of Diagnostics, only too willing to be rid of the responsibility and the conflicts he'd had with the team, especially Thirteen, when they undermined his authority in order to proceed with cases as House thought they should. Foreman's name was removed from the office door and House's name restored. Cuddy even swung by to watch the workmen do it, which House had to admit to himself, had at least softened the blow of her earlier decision to skip his conference session.

Wilson, however, did not seem inclined to forgive Cuddy at all. If House had cared, he would have found this almost disconcerting, as Wilson was usually the one to make things right and soothe away conflicts. But he didn't really care all that much and so he let it go figuring in time Wilson and Cuddy would work things out between them. Anyway, Cuddy's relationship with Wilson wasn't his responsibility. Nor was he really the one you'd want to go to if you were looking for someone to restore the peace. No, this one was up to Cuddy, House figured. She'd have to approach Wilson and try and resolve their differences on her own. Frankly, House was kind of amused by it still. Every time he was with Wilson eating lunch and Cuddy entered the cafeteria, it was like the air surrounding them grew charged by the animosity radiating from his friend. House would often stare at Wilson, suspiciously asking him who he was and what he'd done with the real Wilson. At least it consistently earned him an eye roll and a half-smile.

House meanwhile determined that Lucas wasn't worth troubling himself over. Cuddy could do so much better he told himself and it was inevitable that she would end it eventually. Then her interest in House would return. She always came back. It was just the way their relationship worked. So if he had to let her get this out of her system, he'd deal. He'd pretend to be the good guy. It would only make their eventual collision that much sweeter. And there was nothing to stop him from treating her as he'd always done; innuendos and all. Now that his job was back he figured he could at least relax his parameters that much. It wasn't as if she'd complain about him to the board. She'd done too much to restore his power to undo it if he indulged in a taunt or two.

* * *

House had a way of announcing painful truths, even when it came to his feelings, and to then walk away, leaving it there and moving on. Still, Cuddy was surprised to find that in the aftermath of the conference, it wasn't her relationship with House that was the biggest casualty, but her relationship with Wilson. After the first week, House had gone back to normal, interacting with her almost as he had prior to Mayfield. She supposed it was probably partly due to his license having been reinstated. The relief at having his job restored seemed to free him from some of the restrictions that he had placed on himself, behavioral-wise. While he still behaved much better than he had before his time away from the hospital, his cheeky demeanor was back in full swing and he didn't seem to have any hesitations about bantering with her on occasion. She knew she shouldn't encourage him, but she could hardly help herself. It was just such a relief to have him back and to think that maybe they could get past the fact that she was with Lucas now. If that meant swaying her hips for him when he was around, so be it. She'd do practically anything to keep him in a good mood. Wilson on the other hand, well, there seemed to be no hope there. It appeared that he could not keep from faulting her for being with someone other than House. She was just thankful Lucas steered clear of the hospital. She hoped this would blow over somehow before she and Lucas next had a social run-in with Wilson. If House could come around, wouldn't Wilson eventually do the same?

* * *

House was working in the clinic, completing his hours without complaint, when Mr. P.I. himself came in. House almost walked away but then grabbed the file because Wilson was the only other doctor working in the clinic at the moment and if one of the nurses didn't take Lucas, or called Wilson in for a consult, there'd be bloodshed. If he was honest with himself, he was hoping the guy had some incurable disease anyway. But that was wishful thinking. Still, he'd love to be the one to discover that tidbit of information.

Lucas was surprised when House called him in. He looked at him warily before following him into an exam room. "You aren't luring me in here with the intention of dismembering me, are you?" he inquired, pausing before allowing the door to shut behind him.

"Nope," House said, "Just doing my job. Gotta keep the boss happy." Okay, Lucas was a little more annoying now than he'd been before he started dating Cuddy, but he could handle it. Although, the idea of going into the exam room that Wilson was currently occupied in and swapping patients WAS tempting. "What's the problem? Sexually transmitted disease? You have to use protection when you go into Cuddy's lair, you know. She's got her own brand of poison."

Lucas gave him a pointed look. "No. Nothing like that. I just figured I'd get checked out. My glands are swollen. In my neck I mean."

"But you do use protection, right?" House asked, unable to hide his interest.

Lucas sighed. "Is that important?"

"Could be. It's on the questionnaire. I have to ask," he covered easily.

"We do. But we're both clean."

House raised an eyebrow skeptically. "Yeah, but other partners might not be."

"I'm not sleeping with anyone else, House," Lucas declared in irritation.

"Who's talking about you?!" House asked, convincingly surprised. "I was talking about the she-devil."

"Lisa's not cheating," he muttered dryly.

"You think that now but wait until Susie and Johnny are born and they're black," House replied, giving him a serious look.

Lucas figured he might as well accept that House was going to make this difficult. He shrugged before dismissively saying, "Well, if Susie and Johnny come along, they wouldn't be mine anyway. I wouldn't have to wait until they were born to know that."

House gave him an inquisitive look. "Oh?"

Lucas glanced away, having said more than he'd intended. "Can we just get on with this? I probably just have a sore throat in the works."

"It is that time of the year," House agreed smoothly. He felt the lymph nodes of his neck, being careful not to choke him. All he needed was a lawsuit here. Then he reached for a couple swabs and had Lucas open his mouth, swiping within. He might as well check him for STDs too; secretly of course. "I'll do the labs and if it's strep or something else requiring meds, I'll send something for you with Cuddy at the end of the day." House knew just from looking down his throat that it was strep. Still, running the labs would allow him to check for STDs at the same time.

Lucas nodded, ready to get out of there. "Works for me."

The door opened before Lucas reached it. "Hey House, can you step into…" Wilson trailed off. "What's he doing here?" he asked House sharply, the expression on his face turning fierce.

House's eyebrows rose and he stepped in between Wilson and Lucas, just to be safe. "Strep, probably," he answered without inflection.

"He can't go somewhere else?" Wilson inquired, clearly irritated.

"He's a private investigator. He probably doesn't even have insurance. We are a free clinic after all," House explained, intentionally making Lucas sound like a total loser. "Besides, there's got to be benefits to dating the she-devil."

"You do realize I can hear everything you say?" Lucas asked from behind House.

Wilson shot him an icy glare but House turned him in the direction of the door. "You need a consult? What exam room are you in?"

"Right across the hall," Wilson finally replied, his concentration divided between House and Lucas.

House gave him a shove. "I'll be in there in a minute."

Wilson nodded before reluctantly leaving. House waited until the exam room across the hall opened and closed before sending Lucas on his way. He rolled his eyes when the man detoured to go to Cuddy's office, the pesky little fly. But he had learned something interesting. That information made up for the pain of treating Lucas. At least Lucas didn't have everything going for him where Cuddy was concerned. He turned to the desk, ordering the tests he wanted on the swabs he'd taken. Then he headed for the other exam room, hoping it was at least something interesting that had flummoxed Wilson.

* * *

Cuddy exited her office a while later, walking Lucas out. She didn't intend to kiss him, as she was at work and public displays of affection in the workplace were one of those things that she thought twice about, but he leaned in and kissed her before she thought to ask him not to. She smiled affectionately and watched him go, deciding it really didn't matter. Then she turned around and Wilson was there, eyeing her with disapproval.

Lucas had mentioned that he'd run into both Wilson and House in the clinic. Surprisingly, House had treated him without making a scene. It would seem Wilson was less than pleased to see him here, however. Well, that she had expected. Cuddy held her head high, walking past him without comment.

"Kind of unprofessional for someone who is supposed to be an example to the rest of us, wasn't that?" he said as she walked by, his voice almost so low she couldn't hear his words.

Cuddy's eyes turned to steel and she stopped, angrily returning to where he stood to poke a finger into his chest. "You aren't the boss of me, Wilson. I'd like you to remember that."

His mouth formed into a firm line, but he put his hands in his pockets, walking away without comment. Cuddy watched him go, royally pissed off. Once he was out of sight she stormed back to her office, allowing the door to shut hard behind her. She REFUSED to walk on eggshells around him any longer. This was plain ridiculous!

* * *

"What's going on between you and Cuddy?" Cameron asked House as she stepped into his office.

He looked up from the paperwork he was busy working on. "Nothing," he said after a moment.

Cameron gave him a probing look and then rephrased her question. "Alright then, what's going on between Cuddy and Wilson?"

"Why would you think anything is going on between Cuddy and Wilson?" he asked, trying hard to control his facial expressions in that moment.

"Apparently they got into a public argument a few minutes ago in the lobby," she informed him, her lips pursing when she could tell he wasn't at all surprised. "Plus, when I ran into Wilson earlier, he was glaring at her from across the room. That's not normal Wilson behavior. Something's going on. And you know what it is."

House chuckled, removing his reading glasses. "Cuddy's in a relationship," he acknowledged, not in the mood to drag the moment out.

Cameron's eyebrows rose. "And that's got Wilson upset."

Since it was more of a statement than a question, House didn't respond immediately.

She thought it over and then slyly asked, "Wilson's interested in Cuddy?"

"That must be it," he muttered, attempting to remain serious at the very idea that Wilson was upset because he was interested in Cuddy, though he still came out caustic. "Wilson's got a thing for blood-sucking deans."

"And how do you feel about Cuddy being in a relationship?" Cameron asked teasingly.

"Some poor sucker needs to wrangle the wild beast. Maybe it will make her easier to work for," House quipped, maintaining his composure. "We will see if Lucas has what it takes."

"Lucas? As in your private investigator guy?" she asked in surprise.

"That's the one," he agreed, rolling his eyes.

"He's not really Cuddy's type though, is he?" she questioned, clearly not seeing the attraction.

"Thank you!" House exclaimed before he could stop himself, his hand raising in the air in her direction to gesture that was exactly what he thought.

Cameron smiled knowingly. "Wilson isn't upset because he wants to be with Cuddy. He's upset because he wants you to be with Cuddy. Because he knows you want to be with Cuddy."

"Ah, Cameron. You think you know everything," he said mockingly, motioning for her to go on her merry way.

She reached for the door handle but turned around when she opened it. "It won't last House. He really isn't her type. She'll be back." Then she slipped out without waiting for a response, walking back down the hallway towards the elevator.

House smiled, pleased that he wasn't the only one to realize Lucas couldn't fill the House-sized hole in Cuddy's heart.

* * *

House picked up the labs, noting the STD tests were, sadly, all negative. But he did have strep, as House had predicted. At least he wouldn't be sticking his tongue down Cuddy's throat for awhile, House couldn't help but think with a smirk. He filled the prescription and then headed into Cuddy's office, not bothering to knock. She looked up, waiting for him to speak.

"Well, looks like you should lay off tonguing for a while," he flippantly announced, chucking the prescription bottle at her.

She almost failed to catch it but managed to swat it back up in front of her and then caught it on her second try. She rolled her eyes, reading the prescription. She gave him a half-smile, semi-amused. "Right," she dryly said. "Thanks for the advice."

He shrugged, turning back around to leave.

"House," she quietly called before he could exit, her tone hinting at her embarrassment in whatever she was about to say.

"Yeah?" He turned back to face her.

"Can't you talk to Wilson for me?" she hesitantly inquired, doing her best to make it a simple question and not a plea.

He raised his eyebrows at her. "What am I supposed to do about it?"

"Well, can't you just…I don't know, reason with him?" Cuddy pressed.

"Listen, you need to work this out with him on your own," he told her, warding off her request.

"Yeah, like that would work," she sarcastically remarked.

"Cuddy, I hardly qualify for the role of being your personal ambassador," he laboriously commented, his tone revealing his impatience with her desire for him to intercede in this on her behalf.

She sighed dramatically. "But he's your friend," she huffed before adding, "And you're fine with my dating Lucas, while he's being completely ridiculous about it."

"Am I?" he asked seriously, an eyebrow quirked at her. "Maybe I'm just trying to be the good guy here and respect your ability to make your own choices."

Cuddy tilted her head to the side, studying him. She let his words slide, not wanting to go back down that dangerous rabbit trail. "Come on, House," she cajoled.

"Cuddy, you know, I'm sure this is a foreign concept to you, but why don't you just try apologizing to him?" he tauntingly questioned.

"I have nothing to apologize for," Cuddy pronounced, drawing her shoulders back and giving him a contemptuous stare for his ludicrous insinuation.

"That's debatable," he muttered under his breath, low enough that she couldn't make out his words. A moment later he asserted, "Look, you are on your own with this one. Apologize. Don't apologize. Whatever. But don't drag me into this." Man, he sounded like Wilson. Though Wilson would eventually cave in such a situation, whereas House had no intention of caving.

She just stared at him. "But this centers around you," she finally said in disbelief.

House shook his head after a moment and then suggested, "Maybe he'll come around in time. I don't know. I really think if I talked to him and he figured out that I was only speaking to him because you asked me to, it wouldn't solve anything. If he knew you were asking this of me, he'd think you were being selfish in putting me in the position of defending you. And then he'd just be harder to deal with. Either you talk to him, or you wait and see. I don't know how I can help you in this."

"Fine, whatever," she replied in frustration, dismissing him.

House turned for the door, tugging on the handle as he rolled his eyes. It was almost like he and Wilson had switched bodies. Usually it was Wilson who served as the go-between where he and Cuddy were concerned. The idea that he had to be a go-between for them was utterly bizarre. No thank you. She really was on her own in this one. But he couldn't resist throwing a tidbit her way. "Hey Cuddy," he said then, smiling broadly.

She looked back up at him and waited, knowing from his expression that she wasn't going to like what he had to say.

"Cameron says it won't last," he announced before making a hasty retreat.

Cuddy stared at the door, her chin having dropped in disbelief. Great. EVERYONE had an opinion.

* * *

Wilson was waiting for House when he returned to his office, camped out in the corner in his chair.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, looking at him in surprise.

"What? You come to my office all the time. I'm not allowed to come to yours?" Wilson replied defensively.

"Okay," House said slowly, dragging the word out. After a moment he sarcastically asked, "Are you planning on telling me what's bothering you or should I just guess?"

"Do you know how annoying it is that you are pretending like everything is fine between you and Cuddy?" Wilson asked then, obviously irritated with House over this.

House stared at him, trying to keep a straight face and failing miserably. He laughed, completely entertained by the fact that they really had reversed characters.

"I don't find it funny," Wilson muttered, his tone indicating his growing frustration.

"What do you want me to do, Wilson?!" he huffed then. "What am I going to accomplish by being pissed off with her about everything? Will that bring her running back to me? Will she run out and break up with Spy Guy? What will it do?"

"You aren't yourself, House. This isn't typical House behavior. She's changed you," he accused.

House struggled for a response, baffled by the way Wilson was acting. "Again, what do you want me to do?!"

"Be yourself!" he hotly declared, getting to his feet. "Get angry!"

"For what purpose?! To lose my job?! After I've tried so hard to get it back?!" House was angry too now.

Wilson glared at him before turning and stomping out. House watched him go, unable to make sense of Wilson's strong reactions lately. He wondered if he was off the anti-depressants. Well, he bemusedly thought to himself, at least I didn't defend Cuddy. I'd hate to see how he'd be if I'd done as she asked me to.

* * *

"What did you mean by telling House that my relationship with Lucas would not last?" Cuddy demanded as she approached Cameron in the ER.

Cameron looked up at her, feeling trapped, instantly detecting that Cuddy wanted her head. She should have known House wouldn't be able to let what she had said go without telling Cuddy. Rather than try to defend herself, she went back to signing the chart she was working on. "What do you see in him anyway?"

Cuddy straightened, her eyes flashing as she stared at Cameron in disbelief. "How is that any of your business?" she finally demanded.

Cameron glanced back at her, an eyebrow raised. "I never said it was. But you sought me out to get after me for what I said to House. Therefore, if you feel like I am wrong, you at least have to clue me in to why I am. Otherwise, there's no point in taking me to task for this."

Cuddy whirled about and took three steps away but then about faced and came back. "Lucas is a great guy. He's funny. He makes me laugh. He's cute," she announced, her chin up.

"House is funny. He makes you laugh," Cameron pointed out. "And we both know he's sexy."

Cuddy's eyes were wide open in shock. She shook her head in consternation, her mouth open as she grappled with how to respond. "You're married!" she finally declared.

Cameron laughed. "That doesn't mean I can't think he's sexy," she replied.

Cuddy didn't have a response for that. She clenched her teeth but then said, "Lucas is sensitive, dependable, and the kind of guy a woman can settle down with and know he'll stay around for the long haul."

Cameron wondered what the consequences would be if she told Cuddy that she thought Lucas was a dork. Thinking better of it, she shrugged. "If that's what you are going for these days," she accepted, turning back to the desk to hand the file over to the nurse behind the desk.

Cuddy glared at her, so frustrated she could scream. She turned and stormed off, rather than give in to her fury.

Cameron looked up once she couldn't hear the clack of Cuddy's high heels anymore. She laughed, wondering when Cuddy and House would finally get their acts together and get on with life. But man if they didn't have a flair for the dramatic, she acknowledged to herself, before grabbing another file and heading across the room, slipping behind the curtain to see another patient.

* * *

House stopped off at a diner after work, picking up some takeout as he wasn't in the mood to cook. As he waited for his order, something caught his eye through the front window. Passing in front of the diner was Cuddy, walking hand in hand with Lucas, who was carrying Rachel. House did a double take and then moved towards the door.

"Your food will be ready in a moment sir," the cashier anxiously called to him, fearful that he had tired of waiting and was about to leave. The concern was justified as he'd left before, but he waved her off, telling her he'd be right back.

Slipping out the door, he headed in the direction Cuddy and Lucas had gone, walking around the corner until he spotted them some distance in front of him. They were talking and although he couldn't discern the words, he could hear Cuddy's laughter and knew that she was enjoying her time with him. Something grabbed at his chest and he recognized it for the jealousy that it was. Rachel was facing him and her head bobbed up and down with each step Lucas took, one fist in her mouth as she babbled happily. House hadn't seen her since before Mayfield and he was surprised by how big she was. He considered her and realized she'd turn a year in a couple weeks. He wondered how that could be but then dismissed the thought, his eyes studying Cuddy's face as she turned to say something to Lucas. She looked happy; happier than he'd seen her in a long time. And somehow that fact hit him like a load of bricks. In that moment he realized he really would be the good guy in this. He would let her go. If Lucas could make her content like that, he didn't want to be the jerk who dragged her down. He really did love her enough to make that sacrifice, even bearing in mind that it would change his future plans drastically. He stopped in his tracks before looking down at his feet, saddened by his decision. He wished he could be the good guy without having it make him miserable, but misery was unfortunately his fate. He turned slowly, avoiding laying his eyes once again on the happy couple. Then he made his way back to the diner and silently paid for his food, his expression grim and his stomach no longer hungry.

* * *

The next week passed by slowly, House unable to stop himself from analyzing Cuddy each time she was nearby. Each time he hoped to find he had been mistaken, but several times he had caught her unawares coming or going from the building, happily chatting on the phone with who he could only assume was Lucas. She was better off then, he told himself. She had said that she'd never been happy with him that day on the rooftop, and now, he really was coming to the point of believing she hadn't been lying. Maybe he had only thought she'd been happy. Maybe he'd been mistaken in thinking the ups and downs of their relationship had been something that had only served to enhance it. He seriously doubted she found that with Lucas. He'd bet hard money that Lucas was pretty stable. Perhaps she had made the best decision for herself. But why then did he want to run into her office and ask her for another chance to be the one to make her happy? House just couldn't figure it out. So instead, he swallowed his feelings, burying them inside, telling himself that this was for the best, though within something struggled to prove to Cuddy otherwise.

-----

"_**It never crossed my mind at all  
That's what I tell myself  
What we had has come and gone  
You're better off with** **someone else**_

**_It's for the best, I know it is, but I see you  
Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside  
And I turn around, you're with him now  
I just can't figure it out_**

**_Tell me why you're so hard to forget  
Don't remind me, I'm not over it  
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth  
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you_**

**_Aren't memories supposed to fade?  
What's wrong with my heart?  
Shake it off, let it go  
Didn't think it'd be this hard_**

**_Should be strong, movin' on but I see you  
Sometimes I try to hide what I feel inside  
And I turn around, you're with him now  
I just can't figure it out_**

**_Tell me why you're so hard to forget  
Don't remind me, I'm not over it  
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth  
I'm just a little too not over you_**

**_Maybe I regret everything I said  
No way to take it all back, yeah  
Now I'm on my own, how I let you go  
I'll never understand  
I'll never understand!_**

**_Tell me why you're so hard to forget  
Don't remind me, I'm not over it  
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth  
I'm just a little too not over you_**

**_Tell me why you're so hard to forget  
Don't remind me, I'm not over it  
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth  
And I really don't know what to do  
I'm just a little too not over you, not over you"_**

* * *

Song: "A Little Too Not Over You" (David Archuleta)


	10. On Your Way

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

House was in his apartment cooking when there was a knock at the door. He wiped his hands on a towel before heading in that direction. Opening it, he was not really that surprised to see Wilson standing there. Wilson had kept his distance from House for the past week and he had just waited, knowing eventually Wilson would track him down and open up about whatever was on his mind. "Come on in. If you want, you can stay for dinner. I'm making homemade beef stroganoff."

Wilson nodded, closing the door behind him before following House into the kitchen.

"Want a drink?" House asked, opening the fridge.

Wilson nodded, pulling out a chair to sit down. He took the glass House poured him and then set it on the table. "It smells good in here," he quietly voiced.

House nodded, stirring the food on the stove without further comment. Then he grabbed a couple plates from the cabinet and dug into the silverware drawer to find a couple forks. "Are you off your meds?" he inquired finally, glancing briefly at Wilson.

Wilson's eyes revealed his surprise when they widened noticeably at the question. But then he recognized the legitimacy of such a question and shook his head in answer. "No, but I did switch prescriptions," he admitted. "That might be part of it."

House just nodded, setting the plates and silverware on the table. He poured himself a glass of water from the sink before going back to his pots and pans, checking to make sure his noodles weren't overcooked and the sauce wasn't burning.

Wilson watched him and then sighed, causing House to turn the temperature on the stove down before he turned to his friend, reclining against the counter with his arms crossed in front of him. "Do you want to talk?" he finally asked, one eyebrow raised.

Wilson frowned but shrugged. "I guess, but it'll wait until the food's done."

House nodded and turned back to the cabinets, setting a strainer into the sink before turning off the pot of water and emptying the noodles within. While they drained he stirred the sauce once again, adding a little of this and that to complete it before turning it off and setting a towel on the table to rest the pan on. Once the noodles were drained he dumped them into a bowl before dishing up two plates and setting one down in front of Wilson for him to add the sauce to. When they were both seated at the table, Wilson took a bite, his eyes closing in pleasure.

"This is the best beef stroganoff I've ever had, House," Wilson admitted. "You really are an excellent cook."

House accepted the compliment without comment, just nodding his agreement after sampling a bite himself.

"You should open a restaurant on the side," Wilson said next.

House rolled his eyes, brushing it off, and impatiently demanded, "Okay, Wilson. Let's have it. Talk to me."

He sighed but nodded, taking a drink from his glass before beginning. "I need to apologize," Wilson said glumly.

House looked at him in surprise. "Since when do we apologize to one another?" he asked skeptically.

"We don't," Wilson agreed. "But I think I need to."

"There's nothing for you to apologize for, Wilson," House informed him. "You haven't done anything."

Wilson sighed. "Maybe that's part of the problem," he muttered before adding, "But reality is that I have done things that have hurt you."

House waited silently, unsure about what Wilson was about to say and reticent to acknowledge ever being hurt by anything Wilson had done. He was also the tiniest bit fearful, wondering what the unknown might be. Had Wilson done something that he didn't yet know about?

"I'm sorry, House," he began. "I…when Amber was about to die…well, I never should have asked you to do the deep brain stimulation. That was selfish of me and I wasn't thinking about how risky it was or what it might cost you. I guess I thought of you as indestructible. I didn't stop to think about what the consequences might be, nor did I ever thank you for being willing to risk your life for my happiness. I…"

House cut him off, unsettled by his apology. "You have nothing to apologize for, Wilson. I haven't held anything against you. If anything, it was my fault in the beginning that what happened, happened. Don't apologize to me. You don't owe me anything."

"But I need to!" Wilson interrupted angrily. "And you need to let me. When you…when you were up on that roof and I thought you were about to jump, I…"

House sat in stunned silence, but Wilson was unable to continue, choked with emotion.

"I wasn't going to jump though, Wilson," House quietly said. "And the two things weren't related at all."

Wilson took a drink to attempt to clear the obstruction from his throat, unable to look at him. After a moment he said, "I know they weren't but… House, you are my best friend. I almost lost you. I mean, you've had enough near-death experiences for a village full of people… I've almost lost you a number of times. But with the deep brain stimulation… And then, when I saw you on the roof and thought you were going to call it quits, so soon after your return from Mayfield, I just… I felt like I've failed you so many times already and I was afraid that I'd failed you again."

"But…" House began to interrupt, only to have Wilson raise a hand to stop him.

"No, let me finish," he demanded in irritation, waiting for House to assent before continuing. "I'm sorry. I was selfish and while I know that we don't apologize to one another, that you don't expect nor want an apology, this time I need to. Otherwise I won't be able to move beyond this. I'm sorry, House. I am sorry. I haven't always been the friend I would have liked to be, the friend I should have been. Maybe if I had been, you would never have had to spend those months in Mayfield. Maybe you'd be with Cuddy now instead of…"

"The food's getting cold," House uncomfortably murmured.

Wilson sighed in exasperation. "I don't care about that right now! That's what microwaves are for!"

"You aren't seriously asking me to nuke my fine display of cookery?!" he quipped, seriously uncomfortable now.

But Wilson just glared at him. "Can you accept my apology or not?"

House stared at him and then slowly nodded his head. "I haven't held it against you Wilson," he began, cutting Wilson off again before he could speak. "But even if I had, I would forgive you. Wilson, Amber… Well, I'm sorry too. I wish I could have saved her. I wish I could go back and keep her from getting on the bus."

Wilson nodded, admittedly touched by House's words. "Thank you," he said, his voice full of emotion.

House just nodded. "I…care for you. You're my best friend," he said after a moment, though it was hard to even get the words out and express that. He didn't know why, because it was an unspoken truth between them anyway, but all the same, it was almost as if saying it out loud in a moment packed with emotion cost him.

"And you are mine," Wilson said finally.

The silence grew between them until House grew uncomfortable enough to speak. "Does this have something to do with your…attitude regarding Cuddy?" he finally probed, stabbing a piece of beef and chewing it in hopes that Wilson would return to his food as well.

He shrugged, following House's example. "I was really angry with her. And I think I…needed a scapegoat for all the guilt I've buried myself under in regards to you. Cuddy was convenient. And anyway, I WASN'T happy with her. I'm NOT happy with her. She wasn't in the right."

House looked away before saying, "Maybe not with skipping the conference," he began vaguely, "But she does have the right to make her own decisions about who she is going to be with. If this is what she wants, then she has the right to pursue it. I… I don't want to be the reason why she loses your friendship, nor do I want to be the reason you lose hers. You two were friends once also. I'm not going to be upset with you if you decide to be friends again."

Wilson's eyebrows rose then. "You are saying that you really are okay with her being with Lucas?" he asked uncertainly.

House shrugged. "What can I do about it? Whether or not I am okay with it, I don't have much choice. And I guess I've been hoping she'd mess things up with him or find that he isn't who she needs. But maybe he is. Maybe he is and I am…not."

Wilson shook his head in denial. "I don't think so, House. I think you two were meant to be together. I think you WILL be together. I just think Cuddy needs to find that out for herself."

"You being angry with her is NOT going to help my case," House informed him, smiling bemusedly. "She's stubborn."

Wilson laughed. "She's the female you. Of course she's stubborn," he agreed.

House rolled his eyes but a smile continued to tug on the corners of his mouth. "Can we eat now? I'd like to heat this up but I don't want to do it unless I know you'll let me concentrate on eating afterwards."

Wilson shook his head in fake aggravation before standing up and taking both plates to the microwave, reheating them so that they could finish their meal. Neither one of them spoke throughout the rest of dinner, both thinking about what had been said. Once they were done, House looked at the clock, plunking the dishes down in the sink to do later. "There's a game on," he told Wilson. "You interested in sticking around?"

"Sounds good," he agreed, refilling his glass before following House into the living room to take a seat on the couch while House turned the TV on and changed the channel to the game. They both put their feet up on the coffee table, focusing on the TV screen and the score.

* * *

Wilson hesitated outside Cuddy's office door, knowing he was still put out with her but figuring he ought to just deal with it and get it over with. He finally knocked when she looked up and caught sight of him. Once she'd motioned for him to come in, he turned the door knob and walked into her office.

"Can I help you, Dr. Wilson?" she said almost coldly.

He grimaced but brushed away his annoyance, telling himself even if he was still put out with her, it was better to make the first move, especially if he WAS standing in the way of her working things out with House and realizing that Lucas was not the man for her. He didn't want to find her married to the guy and feel like he could have stopped her, if he'd only made things right with her earlier. "Listen," he began, "I'm sorry I've been on edge with you lately."

Cuddy was a little taken aback not having expected an apology, but she didn't show it, simply nodding. "You haven't exactly embraced my decisions," she admitted finally.

"House has been through a lot lately. He's my best friend," Wilson continued. "I…I don't want House to get hurt."

"Whether or not he gets hurt, Wilson, I have a right to do what's best for me," she sternly informed him.

"Yeah, well…" he angrily defended, but then he caught himself and fell silent.

"You used to be my friend too," she said sadly after a moment or two of silence between them.

He sighed, sitting down in the chair in front of her desk. "Cuddy, I want to be your friend. But…at the same time, I need you to know that if it comes down to choosing between you and House, there's no real choice there."

"That's rather junior high of you," she stated in aggravation, giving him a look of pure irritation. "I'm not asking you to choose between House and myself. And I haven't gotten the impression that he is either. Don't you think you can be friends with both of us, regardless of whatever may or may not happen between the two of us?"

He shrugged. "Maybe it is junior high-ish. But sometimes Cuddy, what's true in junior high remains true throughout life."

"Do what you have to do," she said after a moment.

Wilson looked at her and quietly said, "The thing is, Cuddy, whether or not you realize it, you and House are two halves of the same magnet. You are meant to be together."

She rolled her eyes, scoffing, but he continued. "You might not agree, but you are. When you come and get turned around, there's this illusion that you're being repelled from each other. But it's only because you're aiming the wrong direction. And trying to keep you two away from one another, when the magnetic pull is straining to unite you, well, it's just going to result in heartache for everyone. I think to some extent we've seen that in the last few years. If you really want to be with this guy, I have no say in it and I really have no choice but to respect it. But House is your one and only. Someday you are going to realize that."

Cuddy rubbed her face in frustration. "First of all, his name is Lucas. And secondly, I don't believe that there's only one person for everyone, Wilson. But if there were, it wouldn't be House."

Wilson remained silent, not wanting to argue with her when he had come with the intention of really trying to make things better between them. When she waited in silence, he nodded in acceptance of her feelings. Then he got to his feet, heading for the door.

Cuddy watched him walk away, knowing that she really didn't want to lose his friendship if he was at least willing to make some efforts to accept who she was with. Before he could leave, she spoke up. "Rachel turns one on the 30th but I'm having her party next Saturday, the 28th. You are welcome to come if you want to, though I'd ask that you be polite to Lucas, since he WILL be there too."

Wilson turned back to her momentarily, studying her. "I'll check my schedule," he said. "But I should be able to come."

She nodded, somewhat relieved. "It'll be from 2 to 5 p.m. at the house."

"Okay," he agreed, before turning back to the door and pulling it open. He stepped out, heading back for his own office, exhaling under his breath. He wondered when she'd realize that House truly was her one and only. He hoped it happened before things became too complicated.

* * *

"Are you guys coming to Rachel's birthday party this Saturday?" Cameron asked Wilson and House as they walked through the cafeteria line together.

House looked at Wilson quickly before nonchalantly saying, "Yeah. Cuddy asked me if I'd be coming and I figured I had nothing better to do, so why not?"

"How about you, Wilson?" she asked then.

"Maybe. I don't know," he replied. "It really depends on my patients. One of them is pretty critical right now. But if nothing happens with him this weekend, I'll make it. At least for an hour or so."

Cameron nodded, picking up her tray to take it over to where Chase was sitting. "I'll see you guys," she said over her shoulder before she walked away.

"You're going to go?" House asked in surprise, once they had sat down in a booth.

Wilson shrugged. "I talked to Cuddy. I'm not saying we are friends again, but I'm not closing the door to it entirely. She invited me. I might as well make the effort. Especially if you are going. Someone's got to keep you out of trouble."

House smirked, inwardly relieved that things were blowing over between Wilson and Cuddy. He hadn't realized how responsible he'd begun to feel about where the two of them stood, but obviously, he had been troubled by it. He bet it was because even he knew Cuddy didn't have a lot of friends. She needed all the friends she could retain.

* * *

Saturday the 28th, 2009

House rode his motorcycle over to Cuddy's and knocked on Cuddy's front door, a gift for Rachel tucked under his arm. He had stopped at the last minute and picked her up a miniature toy piano, though he knew it was kind of a silly gift for a baby. Still, he juggled the oddly shaped present, hoping that it would prove useful. It was never too early to start playing piano.

The door opened a moment later and Cuddy stood before him, taking his breath away. He whistled before he could stop himself, definitely impressed. "Wow," he managed to say, when her cheeks started to turn pink with pleasure.

"Thank you," she murmured, waving him in. She was wearing a very feminine soft pink dress that hugged her curves just right.

"Where's the birthday girl?" he asked then, glancing around.

"She's out back. I planned to have her party indoors but we've had such an unexpected streak of warm weather that I moved it outdoors. Can I take that for you? You know you didn't have to bring a gift, House," she told him, though she was pleased that he had.

He shrugged. "It's not a big deal," he informed her, passing the gift to her. "And you might not be thanking me later."

She lifted an eyebrow at this but decided to reserve judgment. She just bet whatever he had bought made noise. Though knowing House as she did, it could be any number of things and still elicit the sort of response he expected from her, in the end. She turned to lead him into the backyard, setting the present down at the gift table outside. He followed, helpless to avoid watching her sway before him, yearning to reach out and touch her.

He glanced around, noting the presence of Cameron, Chase, Foreman, Thirteen, and Wilson over in one corner of the backyard. Cuddy headed for Rachel, taking her back from her sister, who had come into town for the party. House looked around for Cuddy's parents but did not see them. Lucas was over by the grill with a guy House knew to be Cuddy's brother-in-law. When Cuddy came back with Rachel, House surprised them both by reaching out for the baby. She hesitated only a moment before handing her over to him, continuing to look at him as if he'd lost his mind long after he'd taken Rachel from her arms.

House laughed at the floofy dress Rachel had on, covered from head to toe in pink, almost but not quite the same shade as her mother's dress. "Hey kid," he greeted her, holding her up so that they were face to face. "Happy birthday. Sorry about the outfit. You look like someone up-chucked cotton candy all over you."

"House!" Cuddy scolded in shock, swiping one hand at his arm. But Rachel just babbled, smiling happily at him and batting her eyes.

"So like your mother!" he said, and Cuddy's mouth twitched but she managed to bite back a smile.

"If you have her, do you mind if I go check on drinks?" Cuddy asked.

"No problem," he assured her, turning to walk with the baby in the direction of everyone from PPTH.

"Wow," Thirteen murmured in surprise at his approach. "Did hell freeze over?"

"Tut, tut," House admonished. "Watch your mouth in front of the children, Thirteen."

"She doesn't talk yet," Foreman said dryly. "I hardly think she'll be repeating 'hell' over and over again."

"I was referring to Wilson and Cameron," House corrected. "They are at a very impressionable stage in their development."

Wilson rolled his eyes but Cameron smiled. "You look good with a baby in your arms, House," she told him.

"Chase, you better latch on to your woman. Before she throws herself at me," House instructed, taking a couple steps back in mock wariness.

Chase laughed. "I'm not worried," he replied, reaching out to take one of the beers that Cuddy had just brought over to them.

House shook his head, turning the beer down. "I've got my hands full with the kid," he said, not wanting everyone to know he wasn't drinking anymore.

"I could take her if you want," Cuddy offered.

He just shook his head. "Nah. I'm working my charm on her here. Pretty soon I'll have her trained to fetch me beers from the fridge and my slippers from the bedroom. Maybe even bring me the Sunday paper."

Cuddy laughed. "Yeah. Good luck with that." Then she turned and went around to be sure everyone else was taken care of.

"You do look good with her, though," Wilson mumbled quietly, when everyone else was caught up in talking about patients from the week before.

House chuckled but didn't say anything, letting the opportunity to rag on Wilson slide. After a moment he asked, "So, how's your patient? The one on the brink of death?"

"I'll probably be called in a little later," Wilson admitted. "For now he's at home. It's hard to watch them die so young. He's barely twelve. But there's not much more I can do. Just make him comfortable when the time comes."

House nodded, not knowing what else to say. He was sure that Wilson was kind of used to this by now, even if it wasn't a picnic.

"Do you want a hamburger?" Wilson asked a moment later.

House looked at him, studying him carefully.

"Oh would you relax! I'm not going to beat the guy to death," Wilson said in exasperation.

House smirked. "That's a nice mental image though," he muttered.

Wilson smiled, nodding in agreement. "So? Hamburger?"

"Sure," House replied, "And a coke if you can find one. But don't let on that I'm not drinking."

Wilson smiled. "Got it. Wouldn't want to spoil your bad boy image."

"Darn right," he quipped, watching Wilson walk away and towards Lucas, just in case he ended up having to intercede. He caught Cuddy watching them too and chuckled. Apparently he wasn't the only one preparing themselves to intervene.

Cuddy came for Rachel a few minutes later. "Where's your old man and the broad?" House asked, handing her daughter to her.

Cuddy smiled, amused by House's references-of-choice regarding her parents. "My dad had something going on today but they are coming up tomorrow and are going to stay the week. They'll be here for her actual birthday," she told him, adjusting Rachel's dress so that it covered her chubby little thighs and came down around her knees as it was supposed to.

"She's going to have your thunder thighs someday," House stoically told her.

There's nothing wrong with my thighs, House!" she declared, clearly offended. "And most babies have chubby legs at one point or another. She'd perfectly healthy."

"I never said I didn't like your thunder thighs," he murmured softly, unable to stop himself from brushing a curl off her forehead to tuck it tenderly behind her ear.

She shivered at his action and he looked down at her arms, noting her goosebumps. "Are you cold? Do you want me to go get my jacket for you?"

She shook her head, though the idea of wrapping herself in his jacket was momentarily appealing. What was wrong with her?! She wasn't actually cold. That wasn't why she had shivered. But what was wrong with her that she'd reacted at all? All the same, she wasn't going to correct him by telling him it was his touch that had set off her goosebumps. "I'm probably just drinking too much," she murmured. "It's not cold out here at all."

"Lay off the booze, Cuddy," he taunted. "It's your kid's first birthday. Not her graduation or wedding."

She rolled her eyes, "Water, House. I'm drinking a lot of water."

"Sure," he quipped. "Of course you are."

She shook her head but smiled at him before turning to check on her sister and brother-in-law. He watched her go thoughtfully. Lucas joined her a moment later, one arm coming up around her as they made conversation with her relatives. House frowned but then reminded himself that Cuddy was happy with Lucas. He was going to survive without her. He could do it. He could set her free. He watched as Cuddy leaned up to kiss Lucas's cheek in affection before heading in the house with Rachel, probably to give her a diaper change. Then he turned his attention back to his co-workers, absentmindedly listening to their conversation, every once in a while throwing in a comment here and there.

Fifteen minutes passed when suddenly a pager went off. It was amusing how every one of them, except for House, who really didn't care, reached for their pager at once. Wilson waved his in the air. "It's me." He looked at it a moment and sighed. "I've got to go. My patient's at the hospital and his parents are looking for me," he informed them.

"See ya," House said, saluting him cheerily.

Wilson rolled his eyes and headed across the yard, giving Cuddy a still semi-awkward peck on the cheek before brushing off her offer to walk him out, heading back through the house alone.

* * *

Cuddy followed House through the hall two hours after Wilson had left to run to the hospital and be with his patient. Lucas was still outside with Rachel, talking to the other guests, mainly family members who were still around. Frankly, House was surprised that he'd stayed as long as he had. But Chase and Cameron had only left fifteen minutes earlier and he'd been in the middle of a conversation with Cuddy regarding paperwork that she wanted him to complete but which he had just as adamantly protested against.

"Thanks for coming, House," she told him, before reaching in the front closet for his motorcycle jacket. "I don't imagine kid's birthday parties are really your thing."

"No problem Cuddy," he replied. "Actually, kid's parties aren't so bad. I wish I'd made it to her simchat bat," he added without thinking about why he hadn't, while pulling his jacket on.

A pang of guilt went through Cuddy's chest and she nodded. "Me too," she finally said. "I… Well, I know that was a long time ago now but I didn't mean it when I asked you not to come."

He nodded. "I know," he reassured her, wanting her to know that there were no hard feelings there.

"And House, thanks for the piano. Rachel will love it," she added after a moment of silence, reaching out to stroke a hand against the worn leather of his jacket.

He shrugged her statement off as if the gift was nothing but then hesitantly took a step towards her, cupping her cheek in his hand. Cuddy stopped breathing, uncertain of his intentions. But House just pressed a quick kiss to her other cheek, much like Wilson had done, before pulling her into a hug and whispering gruffly in her ear, "I know I've hurt you at times, Cuddy. I wish I could undo that. I wish I could turn back time. I pushed you away. And it was the biggest mistake I could have ever made. But if he loves you at all like I've loved you, and you love him and believe he'll make you happy, then I'm happy for you. And I wish you the best." Before she could even react to his so not House-like speech, he had released her and turned, walking out the door and pulling it shut after him. She stood there, one hand unconsciously touching her cheek where he'd pressed his lips against her skin, her heart beating double-time, not sure she'd heard him right, not sure how she felt if she had. Had he really said what she thought he'd said? Had he loved her? Really loved her? And did he really think that his love could surpass the love Lucas had for her? Could House have loved her that much that it would even be possible for him to question that? She turned slowly, leaning against the front door, her mind circling around what he'd said.

"Lisa, honey," Lucas called from the back door. "I think Rachel's tired and wants you."

She shook herself out of her stupor, going to her daughter, trying to push thoughts of House's words from her mind.

-----

**_"I hope he never hurts you like I know I hurt you  
But I was undecided and it was all that I could do  
But if he says he loves you like I know I loved you  
Then there's a way to trust him, and I'll get over you_**

So let his heart surround you, and let his arms protect you  
And hold you every morning the way that I could never do  
Another life has blessed you, he wants the same as you do  
Then I must find the courage to send you on your way, send you on your way  
Send you on your way (send you on your way)

**_All the nights reflecting on our chance connecting  
Help me find the meaning of the life I had with you  
I wish I'd heard when you said that your heart could not wait  
But it was my decision to send you on your way, send you on your way_**

**_It was my decision to send you on your way…_**

I hope he loves you like I loved you, I hope he knows you like I do  
'Cause if he loves you like I loved you, then I can send you on your way...

**_(To send you on your way) Your way, send you on your way_**

**_To send you on your way, send you on your way_**

**_Then I must find the courage to send you on your way (send you on your way)_**

**_(Send you on your way)"_**

* * *

Song: "On Your Way" (Eastmountainsouth)


	11. Just So You Know

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Thanks for the reviews, guys!! I really appreciate hearing your thoughts! Hope you enjoy!)_

* * *

December, 2009

It was December 4th and you could now tell that winter was close, the weather having changed dramatically the day before, a snowstorm rolling in and dropping eight inches of snow on the ground. House had resignedly parked his motorcycle in the back of his garage, moving his car to the forefront so that it was easily accessible. He drove it into work, thankful that the snowplows had at least done their job and the roads were clear and salted. Pulling into his parking space near the front, he walked the distance to the front door. He hadn't seen Cuddy that much, simply because she was trying her hardest to work from home while her parents were in town. But when he entered the lobby, he spotted her, surrounded by a crowd of nurses. He raised an eyebrow, curious about what was going on but not so sure he wanted to know enough to go over there.

"What's up?" he asked the male nurse at the desk, gesturing towards the women across the way.

"Dr. Cuddy got engaged. All the women are acting like idiots over her ring," he informed him noncommittally, obviously not thinking there was anything exciting about that.

House froze, something inside him turning to lead. He was struck by an ache within him that he hadn't expected to feel when this moment came, even if in the last few weeks the thought had crossed his mind that Cuddy marrying Lucas one day was a real possibility. He suddenly felt like he was going to vomit and quickly darted for the bathroom. A couple minutes later he heard the door open behind him.

"Are you okay?" Cuddy asked in concern as the toilet flushed, coming up to rub a hand on his back. He hadn't had time to close the door when he'd entered the stall, just shoving the door wide open, his body keeping it from closing as he wretched in the toilet.

"This is the men's room," he managed to grunt out, not moving from his spot on his knees because he wasn't yet sure he was done. His stomach was still heaving within him.

"Apparently you chased out the two guys who were in here when you entered," she quipped. "I overheard that you were in here sick and since no one else volunteered to come check on you, I thought I better do it."

"I'll be fine, Cuddy. You don't have to worry about me," House muttered gruffly, wiping at the thin film of sweat that now covered his forehead with the back of his hand.

"What's going on, House?" she asked, her forehead wrinkling in concern. "Do you have the flu? If you are sick, you could have called in. Your boss isn't that evil," she teased before sobering at a thought. "Or is this something more serious?" she asked next, something balling up in her chest at the idea.

"I don't think I can do this," he whispered, more to himself than to her.

"Do what?" she asked softly, moving back as he got to his feet, stepping past her to go to the sink and cup his hands full of water before bringing it to his mouth, trying to rinse the taste of bile away. "Talk to me, House," she pleaded, a hand reaching for his arm to grip his bicep.

House grimaced when his eyes caught sight of the reflection of her engagement ring which now rested on his sleeve in the mirror. He shook her off. "I'll be fine. It's nothing. I've got work to do," he told her softly, not looking back at her but instead exiting the bathroom, the door closing behind him. Cuddy stared at the door, gnawing her lower lip. What was going on? She looked down and saw her ring. And then she thought she knew. But knowing didn't ease the vise grip on her heart. She stood there, trying to think but unable to, until someone entered the bathroom, did a double take at seeing her standing there, and then looked to the door to check and make sure he'd come into the right place.

"Excuse me," Cuddy murmured in embarrassment, hurrying past him and back into the hallway outside. Rather than heading in the direction of her office, suddenly knowing she wouldn't enjoy the attention the nurses had given her only minutes before, she slipped into a supply closet, flipping over a bucket to sink down on it. If House couldn't do this, what would that mean? How was he going to upset her life now?

* * *

House entered Wilson's office via the balcony. "I'm really sorry to interrupt but do you mind if I steal Dr. Wilson from you for a moment?" he asked the patient who sat across from Wilson, trying hard to be polite though everything inside of him wanted to demand she get out now.

"What?!" the older woman asked him in complete irritation. "I have cancer. Stage 3. What's so important about you?"

"Well, there's still hope for you, isn't there?" House forcefully muttered; his eyes on Wilson rather than the woman he was speaking to. "You aren't going to die today!"

Wilson stared at him, surprised to see signs of the old House snapping back into play. He turned his attention to the patient. "I'm so sorry, Mrs. Hendricks. I'm sure Dr. House wouldn't interrupt if it wasn't important. I will be right back." He quickly got to his feet and gestured for House to lead the way out onto the balcony. When the door shut behind them, Wilson stared at House, raising his eyebrows in inquiry and rubbing his arms to keep warm. "What's up?"

"Cuddy's engaged," House began. And then his fingers were tingling, his palms sweating, and his heart pounding. "I…think…I'm…having…a…heart…attack," he managed to gasp out a word at a time.

"Does your chest hurt?" Wilson asked immediately, reaching for House's forearm to steady him.

House shook his head but his breathing continued to get more and more out of control.

"You're hyperventilating," Wilson realized, immediately correcting House's conclusion. He quickly darted back into his office, grabbing a bag from his desk before rushing back out and passing it to House.

"Breathe, House. Just breathe," Wilson instructed calmly, one hand on his shoulder, applying just enough pressure to let House know he was there and wasn't going anywhere.

"It's not working," House gasped out with effort after a minute, tossing the bag away in irritation. He sank down on the concrete, ignoring the snow he was sitting in, holding his breath for several moments and then releasing it in turn. After five minutes of this he was breathing somewhat easier. When he was finally able to breathe without a great deal of trouble, he quietly repeated what he'd said before the panic attack. "She's engaged."

"Don't. Just wait. Okay? You need to calm down a bit more. Then we'll deal with that," Wilson instructed him, obviously still concerned.

"Deal with it?! How are we going to deal with it?! She's engaged!" House angrily exclaimed, his breathing starting to increase with each word.

"Calm down!" Wilson instructed. "You're going to start hyperventilating again if you aren't careful."

House nodded, realizing Wilson was right. He needed to calm down and then they could talk. It was embarrassing enough to have one panic attack. Two would be inexcusable.

* * *

Cuddy knocked on Wilson's door, knowing it was probably the wrong place to go but hoping against hope that he'd be able to talk with her and at least listen before turning on her again, as she thought he might once he heard about her engagement.

"Come in," an unfamiliar female voice instructed.

Cuddy opened the door and looked from Wilson's empty chair to the patient sitting in the chair across from it. She frowned in confusion. "Where's Dr. Wilson?" she finally asked the woman.

The lady gestured at the balcony, obviously put out. "He's out there with some rude doctor in the snow who's having some sort of attack or something. I think he hyperventilated. What is wrong with this hospital? I've got cancer! Stage 3! Doesn't anyone care around here to take care of the patients? Is every doctor in this place messed up? It's like I'm at Seattle Grace or something. You better start paying me if I'm now an extra on Grey's Anatomy."

Cuddy ignored her words after she mentioned a rude doctor who was hyperventilating out on the balcony with Wilson. It could only be House. But since when did he struggle with panic attacks? Great. Just great. She was engaged and now he was moving to attention-seeking behavior in hopes that she'd break it off. Cuddy moved in the direction of the door, pushing it open and leaning out to look for them, ready to give him a piece of her mind and then, maybe kudos for his acting capabilities.

Wilson spotted her before House could, as he was otherwise occupied trying to regulate his breathing with his eyes closed in concentration. Wilson angrily shook his head at her, nonverbally communicating that she needed to get away and get away fast. She frowned, wanting to refuse, but then pulled away, closing the door quietly behind her.

"Well?" the patient demanded. "Is Dr. Wilson coming back or what? I don't have all day!"

"Is this your first appointment with Dr. Wilson?" she patiently asked the woman sitting there staring at her.

"No. It's a follow-up. But he's supposed to go over chemo with me before we start. He wants to begin right away and I have to make sure it doesn't interfere with my bridge night next week," she huffed.

Playing bridge was more important than chemo, Cuddy thought in bemusement, entertainment than one's own wellbeing. What was wrong with people? "I can let him know if you need to leave. You could tell me what day it is so that I can communicate that to him. Or you can wait. I'm not sure how long he'll be but I know he will be back," Cuddy assured somewhat dispassionately.

"I've got things to do!" the older woman declared impatiently. "Just tell him not Tuesday. After that is fine. And have him call me. If he needs to go over anything else with me, I have some time tomorrow. But only an hour, mind you! I'm very busy. I really don't have time for cancer right now, but since I don't have a choice, this chemo business will have to be fitted in when it works for me."

Cuddy nodded, trying to at least appear sympathetic. "I'll leave him a note right now," she acknowledged, moving around the desk to grab the pad of paper from his top drawer.

The patient didn't even respond, stalking from the room as if she'd be late to catch a plane or something. Cuddy shook her head and then hesitated after writing the note, finally setting the pen down on the desk. She wavered in indecision but reluctantly moved to the door. She'd give Wilson an hour and then page him because she seriously doubted he'd be looking to see her after this. He'd be pissed off again. She sighed as she stepped out into the hall. She'd only come in to sign off on some papers. She'd never intended to be here this long. And now everything was falling to pieces around her, including House himself. She'd been concerned. But now this was just ridiculous. He was being a child about this. She was supposed to be happy! This was supposed to be a happy occasion! And now he was ruining it for her, sucking all the joy out of it. Just like he ruined everything.

* * *

Wilson walked House back to his office after House convinced him that he'd be fine and just needed a distraction to get his mind on something else. He had refused to talk about it more once he'd calmed down, reminding Wilson that there was a patient waiting for him in his office. Wilson had only agreed to let House get back to work if they went out that night and talked. He had been reluctant to agree but had ultimately caved.

Entering his office and seeing no signs of his patient, Wilson frowned and went around the desk, looking for a note. He saw Cuddy's note on his desk then and called the patient immediately on her cell phone to reschedule a meeting with her the next day. Usually he tried his hardest to stay out of the office on the weekends but he made an exception, knowing this was basically his fault for walking out on her to deal with House. He knew without Cuddy having to tell him that she'd expect him to seek her out. But he didn't have the energy. On top of that, he didn't want to discuss House and what he was going through with Cuddy of all people. Usually he would go between them unconcerned about their privacy, but that era had ended. Wilson didn't want to do that any longer. It was such a mess and a part of him felt like he was to some extent responsible, for ever pressuring them to hook up together in the first place.

He got right back to work, checking in on patients and receiving status updates, scheduling appointments and consults. When he received a page from Cuddy sometime later, he ignored it, figuring he knew what that would be about. But when she paged him again fifteen minutes after that page, he finally concluded he better seek her out in the off chance that it was something work related. He went down to her office, not bothering to knock before going in.

"You wanted to see me?" he asked, feigning nonchalance and intentionally ignoring her engagement ring.

"Yes," she replied. "Where have you been? I paged you almost a half hour ago now and got no response."

It was clear she was irritated with him but he ignored that. "Sorry, I was busy."

Cuddy gave him the evil eye but then exhaled and gave him a pointed look. "Well?"

"Well what?" Wilson responded after a moment.

"Let's hear it," she pressed, her voice indicating that she fully expected him to spill everything.

"I called my patient back and rescheduled for tomorrow morning. It's fine. I've taken care of it," he informed her.

"That wasn't what I was referring to," Cuddy said dryly as she positioned her arms over her chest and looked at him crossly.

He shook his head, his face somber but expressionless. "If you are referring to House, I'm not discussing it with you. I don't have the freedom to discuss it."

"It's never stopped you before," she coldly told him.

He just shrugged, looking away.

"Great, so now you are just going to go back to being distant and angry?" she scolded.

He shook his head, prepared to say whatever he had to in order to get out. "No, I'm not saying that. But I'm not getting involved here either. It's your life and you have the right to make your own decisions and your own mistakes. It's none of my business."

She huffed out an irritated breath but opted to ignore his statement, implying this was a mistake she was making. "Fine," she responded sharply a moment later, nodding her head. "I appreciate that."

He nodded and then turned, heading for the door. Cuddy watched him go, perhaps a little relieved but mostly frustrated. Could her life not just be simple and uncomplicated for once?

* * *

House was in the conference room with his team, who were all giving him inquiring looks every thirty seconds. "Case?" he prompted, pointing to the file Foreman had in his hands before turning and going over to the white board to uncap his marker.

Thirteen began to ask him something but Foreman shook his head, warning her not to.

She looked at Foreman for a moment and then away, pursing her lips.

Foreman opened the file and started listing symptoms, which House then wrote on the board.

"Is it true? Cuddy's engaged?" Thirteen asked out of nowhere, interrupting Foreman.

House did not turn to look at them but his marker paused in the air for just a moment before he continued scribbling. "Yep," he replied, as if he could care less.

Taub's eyebrows rose and he looked from Foreman to Thirteen before he focused back on House.

House sighed and turned around. "I'm writing these symptoms on the board because we have a patient, right?"

Foreman took the cue and finished reciting them while House turned back to the board and scribbled out the last three symptoms. They brainstormed tests for a couple minutes until House sent them on their way to run them. But when he turned around expecting them to be long gone, Thirteen was still there.

"You've got to be kidding me," he muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asked anyway, ignoring his irritation.

"I'm fine. Cuddy's engaged. We have a patient," he recited, telling her the facts. "Now can we get back to work?" he asked, giving her a pointed look.

She nodded after a moment and turned for the door. House turned away to stare at the board but he knew when Thirteen hesitated and looked back his way. "Go do your job," he gruffly commanded. A moment later he heard the door close.

House closed his eyes in consternation but when the door opened again, he huffed out a breath. "Oh for the love of…" he began, as he turned to the door expecting to see Thirteen returning. But it was Cameron, which, if he thought about it, didn't surprise him as he'd expect her of all people to come and check on him after learning the news.

"I just heard," she said softly, stepping into the room and taking a few steps towards him.

"The gossip chain is running behind today," was all he said as he turned back to the board to go over the symptoms once again.

"House, I…" she began, unsure what to say.

He didn't say anything, his lips pressing together more firmly. When she didn't say anything more but didn't move to leave, House roughly instructed, "Just say whatever you need to say Cameron and put yourself out of your misery so that I can get back to work."

"I'm sorry House," she said then, stepping closer to lay a hand on his shoulder.

He turned around, looking skeptically at her. "There's nothing for you to be sorry about," he finally informed her.

"Well then I'm sorry for Cuddy," she replied, smiling gently at him before she reached up to caress his scruff. "She doesn't know what she's missing."

House looked away uncomfortably but finally met her gaze. "Watch out or word might get back to the wombat and he'll think you're putting the moves on me again," he caustically announced.

"Well, you are a pretty good kisser," she quipped right back before she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

House stood there, frozen and horrified. "Cameron, just because Cuddy's engaged doesn't mean I'm in need of pity sex," he stated, his hands locked to his side.

She released him, giving him a rueful look. "Just go back to work," she instructed soberly, shaking her head.

A smile tugged at his lips but he turned around to contain it. When he heard the door open and close a moment later his mouth twitched, finally allowing it to break through.

* * *

"Go after what you want, House," Wilson said later that night after they had been talking for quite some time about Cuddy's engagement, and as they sat in a booth in the back of their favorite Chinese restaurant. It had been like pulling teeth to get House to express even vaguely what his current feelings were and what he wanted to do about it, but after quite some time, Wilson had pried it out of him. "I mean, if you want her, don't be an idiot about it. Don't pretend you can be the good guy. That isn't exactly your specialty. Do what you have to do. You are who you are and you want what you want. If what you want is Cuddy, as ridiculous as this advice sounds considering all that seems to stand in the way of it ever happening for you and Cuddy, go for it. Fight for her."

House nodded after a long moment, looking down at his half-eaten plate of food. "You don't think that will just make a greater mess of things?" he finally asked, meeting Wilson's gaze. He didn't want to admit it but part of him was afraid it would end badly and he'd be back in Mayfield or another such institution after all was said and done, though obviously he wasn't abusing meds or hallucinating now.

"Oh, it probably will," he acquiesced without hesitation. "At least at first. But you are telling me that if you don't fight for her, you'll regret it for the rest of your life, right? Isn't that what you are saying?"

House half-heartedly shrugged but ultimately replied in the affirmative. "Yeah."

"Then do it. Fight for her," Wilson stated, taking a swig of beer. "It's not my place to tell you what to do but I figure I'm not saying anything you aren't thinking yourself. Go for it, House. What do you have to lose? If it doesn't work out and she still marries Lucas…"

He left the rest of the statement unfinished but House understood. He cracked open the fortune cookie the waitress had set before him, reading it. It was exceptionally stupid, stating, "Your fondest dream will come true this year." But as stupid as it was and as little as he believed in omens and signs, House decided maybe he could fulfill it regardless. "Okay," he said resolutely after a moment of silence. "I'm going to fight for her."

* * *

House went into work the following Monday, not yet sure how he was about to fight for Cuddy. He had tried to strategize all weekend but he felt somewhat lost and in foreign territory. He thought maybe he needed to follow through with his plan to win her over but then something inside him rebelled and told him that the way to go about it was to return to old habits and gain her attention and interest by reminding her of the man she had been interested in only a year ago. In the end he knew he'd just make a decision and carry it out. But right now, he was somewhat fearful that making the wrong choice could cement the door closed on ever having anything with Cuddy. That gave him pause. He'd never been at this point before. She'd always been just as much of a screw-up as he was in relationships, if not more so, as he at least had been in a long-term committed relationship.

He saw Cuddy just within the clinic doors, watching him as he crossed the lobby and looking like she was a second away from seeking him out. He intentionally detoured, making for the elevator. Once he reached his office, he sent his ducklings off to work in the clinic and then headed up to the rooftop, thinking maybe a little fresh air would help him. Plus, he figured if Cuddy had been watching for him to come in and did intend to bring up yesterday, he wasn't going to make it easy for her. He had too much thinking to do first.

* * *

Cuddy marched up the stairs a half hour later and out onto the rooftop, knowing that it didn't take a genius to know that was where she'd find him, after noting the entry of his team into the clinic and finding his office vacant. She glared at him angrily as he watched her approach, waiting for the storm that was sure to come just going by her mutinous expression. He didn't think he'd done anything to deserve her irritation, but what did he know. There was always something.

It was cold out, a light smattering of snow still dusting the roof. Neither of them noticed the temperature, House too distracted and Cuddy too worked up to pay any attention to it.

"House, I want you to stop this! Stop acting like this, aiming for sympathy! You aren't getting any from me!" she informed him when she reached him, one finger digging into his chest as she poked him with it repeatedly. She had spent all weekend going over what had happened the previous Friday, time and time again. She was tired of thinking of it and tired of thinking of him. Lucas had asked her what was on her mind several times and she felt terrible because she had opted not to be completely honest with him. That wasn't what she wanted for them. She craved a relationship built on honesty.

House tried to make a joke of what she'd said. "I wasn't getting any from you anyway."

Cuddy gave him a death glare and he caught her hand, holding it in his as he muttered, "I'm not after anyone's sympathy, Cuddy."

She jerked away, moving a few paces from him in the process while shaking her hair out and back over her shoulders. "You are!" she declared, eyeing him sternly. "The vomiting, the supposed 'hyperventilating', even your declaration the other week telling me that you loved me but that you'd let me find happiness with Lucas if that was what I wanted. Obviously that was just another attempt to manipulate me. You have no intention of allowing me to find happiness! You never did! Everything you do right now is part of some elaborate act to ruin what I have going on with Lucas! And I'm tired of it! It stops now! You might find some perverse pleasure in being miserable but I am not about to join you 'cause I don't!"

House couldn't help but feel semi-humiliated that she knew about the panic attack. He drew himself together regardless. "I meant it," he finally said, though the words were spoken vehemently. "I meant it. I thought I could walk away and let you go. But then you got engaged and I just couldn't do what I thought I was capable of."

"Yeah, right. Sure you meant it," she haughtily scoffed, her eyes flashing with ire.

"Just what do you expect from me, Cuddy?! What?! You want me to look the other way?" he asked heatedly, stepping closer in the process. "Pretend that it doesn't matter to me that you are marrying him? Pretend like my gut doesn't twist up when I look at you and see that ring on your finger? Just what do you want?! How can I pretend to be fine when I'm not? Obviously I mean nothing to you but that…doesn't go both ways! You mean a lot to me, Cuddy. A lot," he finished lamely, embarrassed that he was exposing so much of what he hid within.

Cuddy stared at him in shock, completely bewildered by his declaration. "House, you don't mean that," she finally murmured, quieting down as she tried to make him see reason, her hands twisting together anxiously. "You just feel that now that I'm taken. But you never cared for me before I started seeing Lucas. Not really. Not like this. This….it will pass. It's not real."

"I love you, Lisa Cuddy," he told her then, his face completely serious as he sacrificed himself in order to tell her how he honestly felt, his eyes pleading with her to actually hear what he was saying and accept it as truth.

She shook her head, clearly upset by his continued inability to see reality as she saw it. "You don't," she negated seriously, her breath coming out in little puffs of steam that to some extent distracted his attention from her eyes to her mouth.

"I do," he said calmly, moving towards her again.

She backed away until she was up against the wall of the building with nowhere else to go, the rough edges of the bricks rubbing against her shoulder blades through her thin top uncomfortably. But he kept coming. House braced a hand against the wall and then reached for her with the other, tracing a hand across her jaw despite how she strained to avoid his touch. "I love you, Cuddy," he repeated, stepping close enough that only an inch separated their faces as his hand tilted her head back to meet her eyes with his.

"I'm engaged, House," she whispered brokenly, knowing he intended to kiss her and not wanting to have to hurt him to force him to back off.

"Then I will fight for you," he mumbled, stroking her cheek softly. "I will fight for you, Lisa Cuddy," he repeated before pressing his lips to hers in a bittersweet kiss that somehow stoked up a fire within her even as she struggled to escape its clutches, her heart racing immediately at the gentle pressure he applied and the scent of him filling her senses.

Her arms came up to grasp onto his and for a moment she wasn't sure whether it was to pull him closer and cave to the electricity that somehow always sizzled between them or to shove him from her. Moments away from the point where she'd melt into him, she finally groaned against his lips, not in physical pain but in emotional agony before she then broke the contact, using his arms to lever herself away. The tears came, blurring her vision and streaking down her cheeks. Cuddy was helpless to stop them. "I'm getting married on February 27th, House. You have to just accept that and move on," she murmured as she wiped at her eyes before stepping under his outstretched arm and around him, quickly making her exit without looking at him.

"I'll fight for you, Cuddy," he repeated, though he was still facing the wall where she'd been and despite knowing that she was no longer around to hear his words. "I WILL fight for you."

-----

"_**I shouldn't love you but I want to  
I just can't turn away  
I shouldn't see you but I can't move  
I can't look away**_

**_I shouldn't love you but I want to  
I just can't turn away  
I shouldn't see you but I can't move  
I can't look away_**

**_And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not  
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop_**

**_Just so you know  
This feeling's taking control of me  
And I can't help it  
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now  
Thought you should know  
I've tried my best to let go of you  
But I don't want to  
I just gotta say it all before I go  
Just so you know_**

**_It's getting hard to be around you  
There's so much I can't say  
Do you want me to hide the feelings  
And look the other way?_**

**_And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not  
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop_**

**_Just so you know  
This feeling's taking control of me  
And I can't help it  
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now  
Thought you should know  
I've tried my best to let go of you  
But I don't want to  
I just gotta say it all before I go  
Just so you know_**

**_This emptiness is killing me  
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long  
Looking back I realize it was always there just never spoken  
I'm waiting here...been waiting here_**

**_Just so you know  
This feeling's taking control of me  
And I can't help it  
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now  
Thought you should know  
I've tried my best to let go of you  
But I don't want to  
I just gotta say it all before I go  
Just so you know_**

**_Just so you know_**

**_Thought you should know  
I've tried my best to let go of you  
But I don't want to  
I just gotta say it all before I go  
Just so you know_**

**_Just so you know"_**

* * *

Song: "Just So You Know" (Jesse McCartney)


	12. If You're Gone

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(A longer chap coming your way! Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Hope you can get together with those you love and are grateful for! Thanks for the reviews!! And noname12344, it's coming but still a LONG ways off! A lot is about to go down in Princeton Plainsboro!)_

* * *

A few days passed and House decided it was time to put his "plan" into action. He termed it "Mission Hanukkah" but in his head he often referred to it as sinking the L boat. Since today was the first day of Hanukkah he figured the time had come. He'd seen Cuddy a few times since that moment on the roof but she always rushed off in the opposite direction, avoiding him. Well then, he would not succeed by winning her through his "reformed" approach. That only left him with a standard House-style war to wage.

He knew her schedule throughout Hanukkah consisted in half days at the office. He'd received a memo informing staff of her intended reduction of hours and he was actually surprised she was taking that much time off, especially considering the week she'd taken off for Rachel's birthday. She rarely took time off work. He wondered what that was all about but it wasn't like he could ask her. House couldn't even find her half the time. So, that left him with what? Yep, it was time to focus on getting her back.

House aimed to start small and then work from there. His plan really had nothing to do with Hanukkah at all but he figured it made for a good mission name. He spent the first day of Hanukkah lighting small fires – not literal fires but minor problems about the hospital that he hoped would keep her from leaving early and which he imagined Cuddy would ultimately attribute to him. He thought it pretty mild stuff, but again, he was starting small and he knew it would work regardless. He'd been such a good boy for so long that she'd instantly snap to attention. And that was what he wanted, her attention. He hoped it wouldn't be as much of a challenge as she might want to make it, being that she was keeping clear of him when she could.

* * *

House frowned. It was five thirty and while he knew for a fact that Cuddy was still at work, despite her intentions to take a half day, he was surprised that she'd maintained her distance. He'd spilled dirty water down a staircase that she was near, limping off before he could be spotted (but not before he'd seen her reaction to the water pooling by her shoes from around a pillar upstairs). She had not been pleased. And that had just been one of a number of things that had "mysteriously" gone wrong. No, Cuddy was clearly peeved by all the "coincidental" problems that had landed in her lap today. So…where was she? Neither the malfunctions with the MRI machine, nor the short circuiting of the outlets with the coffee machines and microwave in the breakroom had made her sever her apparent determination to steer clear of him. Not even the changes he'd made to her computer had led her to change her mind, although at least that had drawn a reaction in her promptly changing her password. But the new password only took five minutes for him to figure out and he'd instantly made a couple more alterations, modifying her password again so that she'd now be the one struggling to access her information. Nothing forced her to seek him out though. Where was his wrathful little wretch? Seriously, what did he have to do to get noticed around here?!

* * *

Cuddy was thoroughly pissed! She did not have to question who was causing mayhem in her hospital today. It could only be House. It was the first day of Hanukkah, her parents were at her house with Rachel, and she was supposed to have returned home hours ago. But House seemed intent on preventing her from leaving. She had been fighting against stalking up to his office ever since she'd caught on but she didn't want to give him the pleasure of getting to her, although clearly, he was. So then she just didn't want him to know how much. And after what had happened Monday on the roof, she just couldn't afford to be in his presence. Being around him now put her in over her head. She was drowning. She threw her hands up in the air and then reached down and switched off her computer, hoping anything that she'd opened had already saved itself. She was going home. She didn't care.

* * *

Wilson stepped into House's office, clearly frustrated. "What is going on today? I went down for a cup of coffee and the breakroom coffee machines aren't working. I ran into Cuddy and asked her about it but she growled at me and stormed away in the other direction. What do you know?" Wilson asked, positive that House knew all about it after seeing his expression.

House laughed. "I'll buy you a cup," he replied, leaning back in his chair.

"You never buy anything," Wilson responded grumpily before sinking into the chair across from him and asking, "You're serious? We've gone back to this? What is this? A repeat of the pre-Mayfield days?"

"You told me to fight for her," he reminded him.

Wilson shook his head in disbelief but sighed. "Yeah, I guess I did. But don't land yourself in Mayfield in the process."

House pushed his chair back and got to his feet. "Where IS Cuddles?! She hiding out?" he asked then, his curiosity getting the best of him.

"You haven't seen her? She hasn't…yelled at you yet?" Wilson asked in surprise.

"Nope. I guess she's going to hang in there and see how far I take it," House said, amused by how she could dig her heels in when she wanted to.

"Well I think she went home just now," Wilson informed him. "Her office light is out and I thought I saw her exiting the building."

House considered what Wilson said, his eyebrows going up along with the corners of his mouth. "Hmm… Looks like I have to up my game."

Wilson chuckled. "Why does that terrify me?" he asked, shaking his head.

"Relax," he assured him. "At least until Monday. It's the weekend. Now things move to the homefront."

"Listen, just don't tell me anything," Wilson stated, getting to his feet and following House to the door. "I don't want to know."

House thought of what had happened on the rooftop. "Don't worry. I'll do my best to keep you out of it." Hitting the light switch, he asked, "Wanna grab dinner?"

"Yeah. But you're buying. You owe me coffee," he quipped.

House laughed. "Yeah. What does that cost these days? A buck? Two?"

"Whatever it costs, it's pennies compared to all the money I've spent to keep you fed," Wilson muttered.

* * *

Cuddy awoke Sunday morning and slipped out from beneath the covers, pulling on her robe before padding her way down the hallway in search of a cup of coffee, the smell having crept through the house and into her bedroom to tempt her. She peeked in on Rachel a moment but the baby was still out like a light and would probably sleep soundly for another hour. Saturday had proven a relaxing day at home, which she'd greatly appreciated after Friday, but they'd all stayed up late, Rachel included, so Cuddy wasn't surprised to find her still asleep.

As Cuddy came to the living room, she caught sight of her mom sipping at her own mug, her eyes focused on something out the window. Realizing how much she was enjoying her time with her parents, Cuddy smiled a soft smile before going to the coffeepot and pouring her own cup. Entering the living room, she headed towards her mother.

"Morning, mom. What are you looking at?" Cuddy inquired, holding the cup close to her face so as to inhale the scent of the aromatic coffee.

"I'm not really sure. Someone built a snowman in your yard I think, but I can't really see it because there are several people out there, surrounding it and taking pictures," Evelyn informed her.

"In my yard?" Cuddy repeated, moving closer to see for herself, something within her unsettled by her mother's words.

Just as she got to the window the people outside parted, allowing Cuddy and her mother a glimpse of what they had been snapping pictures of. Cuddy gasped and her mother dropped her mug of coffee, a hushed thud sounding as the cup hit the carpeting, splattering coffee in several directions. Outside in her front yard, someone had constructed a snow sculpture of Cuddy herself, in the nude, facing the front window. "Ode to Cuddy," the snow before it read in spray painted letters.

Cuddy's cheeks flamed instantly, mortified that these were her neighbors out there, as well as maybe someone from the newspaper, if she could judge by the expensive camera hanging around his neck. Then she spotted the TV network van outside.

Evelyn hurried away to get a rag and clean up the coffee mess before it could set in, not knowing what to say to her daughter who had remained silent this whole time. Cuddy however marched off towards the door, not even bothering to put on her boots as she charged out and at the snow sculpture. People quickly moved out of her way as she barreled through them. But as she got close, she realized her mistake in two areas. First, those with cameras immediately recognized her as the real deal the sculpture was replicated to look like and they began snapping pictures of her, in her bathrobe. Second, the sculpture wasn't made of snow but of ice, covered by just the thinnest layer of falling snow. She about faced and headed back inside, passing her silent mother on the way to the garage before returning a moment later with a metal shovel.

The minute she returned outside wielding the shovel, people started backing away and heading for the curb at a fast rate, wanting to avoid the crazy lady who appeared to be losing it. Cuddy slammed the sculpture several times before chunks began to break off of it. Once it lay at her feet in various broken parts she threw the shovel aside and grabbed a couple chunks, starting with the intimate body parts. She wasn't going to risk someone running off with her bust.

Cuddy went back and forth from the sculpture to the front door, piling the pieces up there to take in and melt in the bathtub. Her mother took the pieces from where she dropped them without comment, realizing her intentions. When Cuddy had every part of herself inside the front door, she headed in the direction of the amused-looking photographer. His expression quickly became one of concern. He held up a hand warding her off.

"Look lady, I had nothing to do with this. I just got a call at the station at five this morning with this address and the mention of an ice sculpture I just had to see," he explained, backing away from her.

"Delete those pictures!" Cuddy muttered through her teeth. "Delete them now!"

"Come on, lady! I got a job to do. I can't just delete them because you want me to," he replied immediately, pulling open the door to the van.

"So help me, if I have to sue…" she began, her calm voice unsuccessfully belying her true emotions.

"Okay, here's what I'll do," the man began, aiming to appease her before she grabbed for his camera or assaulted him. "Here's my card," he said, handing it to her. "On the back is the station's phone number. Call and speak to the station manager. That's the best I can do for you. Talk to her and see what she can agree to. She's a woman. Perhaps she'll sympathize with you. I can't destroy the pictures. However, she can potentially keep them from hitting the air in tonight's segment on creative ice sculptures."

Cuddy grabbed the business card from his hand, huffing angrily as she about faced once more and headed back inside. Someone wolf-whistled behind her and she came to a stop, seething, but after a moment she pulled herself together and marched back inside rather than trying to locate the whistler and opening herself up to more attention.

Cuddy found her mother in the bathroom, filling the tub with hot water while dropping piece after piece of the sculpture in. "Do you want me to save the head? It's still in one piece," Evelyn asked, holding it in her hands and actually admiring it, as it really was a very good likeness to her daughter. "Whoever did this, they are very good. Albeit, a little inappropriate."

Cuddy exhaled an angry breath, grabbing the head from her mother's hands and plunking it into the bathtub where it slowly dissolved away.

Evelyn began to laugh. It started as a chuckle and then grew and grew until she was laughing uncontrollably.

"This isn't funny, mother," Cuddy sternly muttered, an eyebrow raised.

Tears started to leak from Evelyn's eyes as she kept laughing, her belly beginning to ache. "Can you just imagine your father's face, if he had been up to witness this?"

"What's so funny?" her dad asked then, appearing in the bathroom door, his hair askew as he sleepily looked from his wife to his daughter.

Cuddy couldn't help herself. She started to laugh as well, sinking down on the toilet seat as her own tears of mirth started spilling over.

Her dad stared at the two of them for a moment, eyebrows raised. "It's too early for this," he finally mumbled, turning and making his way out of the bathroom and down the hall in the direction of the coffeepot. That just made them laugh harder.

It was several minutes before the two ladies pulled it together. "I have to go call the station and see if I can talk them into destroying those pictures," Cuddy finally said, getting up to head for the phone.

"Maybe you could have them send you a copy. As a keepsake," Evelyn teased.

"Mom," Cuddy began, rolling her eyes.

Evelyn laughed. "It was just a thought."

Cuddy shook her head but smiled, heading out of the bathroom. "If they don't get rid of those pictures…" she murmured under her breath.

Evelyn smiled, chuckling again. She wondered if Greg House was the person responsible for this, though Lisa hadn't said anything to indicate he was. Still, Evelyn would bet good money on it, having heard more than once about the kind of things he'd pull to get under Lisa's skin. She would have to thank him for the belly laugh next time she spoke to him, though she ought to remind him to censor his imagination a little. She thought about him a moment longer, remembering that she always had liked that boy, though clearly, he wasn't a boy any longer.

* * *

House stared at his phone, finally getting up to make sure it was in working order and listening to the dial-tone before replacing it. Cuddy hadn't called to ball him out. She hadn't stormed over either. This was just…unsettling. He knew she hadn't been happy. He'd been present to witness her reaction and when she'd stormed out of the house, shovel in hand, he'd been both thrilled and vaguely disturbed by her outrage. He made sure to stay out of sight for the duration, though he'd wolf-whistled from his hiding place when she headed back to go inside after dismantling his creation. But this…silence on her part confused him. House was a man of many talents and extensive resources. When he needed something done, it was rarely difficult for him to find someone who could get it done and get it done right, regardless of what the job was. House had put all his creative energy into drawing exactly what he wanted the ice sculpture guy he'd met a couple years back to make and he'd managed to wheedle the guy into accomplishing it in a day, fashioning it with every detail crystal clear for his, and especially Cuddy's, viewing pleasure. House had paid a lot of money in the end but it had been worth it. Yet here he sat, getting no response from Cuddy. He pursed his lips, wondering just what it would take to get her to come after him. And then he had another idea. There had been an unfamiliar car in her driveway with an out-of-state license plate he would just bet belonged to her parents. THIS was going to be fun.

* * *

Cuddy had just settled Rachel in her crib for the night when the doorbell rang. "I got it," Evelyn called out softly so as to not wake up Rachel. Cuddy pulled the blanket up over the sleeping baby, tucking it around her before brushing the curls away from Rachel's cherubic face. After a moment she headed out of the room, quietly pulling the door closed behind her.

The minute she turned to see who had come over she came to a standstill. Evelyn turned to her, obviously embarrassed as her face was flaming. Cuddy couldn't blame her. He was clearly a hired stripper. "Lisa, this man says he's here to see you," Evelyn began, a hand unconsciously fanning at her face.

He instantly hit a button on the boombox he had brought with him when he understood that the woman who had just entered was the one he'd been sent to entertain, setting it down on the floor before beginning his routine. The song, "I'm Too Sexy For My Clothes," instantly filled the entryway. Cuddy stared at him as he began gyrating and removing articles of clothing, absolutely mortified. If it wasn't that her mother was present she might have been together enough to immediately send him packing. But that alone was enough to throw her off. Evelyn quickly slipped off into the living room, afraid to see any more than she had to.

The front door directly behind the stripper opened suddenly and then her father and Lucas stood there, looking at the stripper and then at Cuddy in bewilderment. Lucas seemed to be taking it in stride. Cuddy could not say the same for her father. She quickly approached the guy, hitting the stop button on his boombox before grabbing his clothes and throwing them at him. "You have to go," she told him hurriedly, her voice stern.

"Hey!" he exclaimed in surprise, clutching at the clothing she'd tossed his way. "I'm not finished. You haven't even seen the grand finale."

"And I don't plan to see the grand finale," she warningly informed him, pointing him towards the door.

"Lady, it's cold out there," he protested, getting over the fact that he was being thrown out in his outrage that she expected him to leave immediately.

Both Lucas and her father stepped around him, her father going into the living room while Lucas came to stand behind her. "Get dressed," he said calmly, taking over.

The stripper huffed out an irritated breath but quickly dressed, not bothering to look at either of them. He then pulled the door open, picking up the boombox and muttering under his breath about not even receiving a tip as he went out, the door slamming behind him.

Cuddy stared at the door for a moment but then turned to meet Lucas's gaze, completely embarrassed that both he and her father had returned to…that.

But Lucas just gave her a peck on the lips. "Hey," he murmured. "Looks like someone wanted to ensure you had a happy Hanukkah."

She groaned in horror. "What in the world am I going to say to my parents?" she asked, as she wrapped him in an embrace.

"I'll handle it," he said, hugging her in return.

Cuddy sighed but resigned herself to handling this on her own. "Thanks, but I can do it."

He shrugged as he released her. "Okay. But I wouldn't worry about it. It's not like they are thinking you requested his…performance. No one is that crazy. Not when their parents are visiting for the holidays."

"I'm going to kill House," she mumbled under her breath, heading for the living room.

Lucas had had his suspicions that House was involved somehow but now Lisa had confirmed it. He smiled wryly, wondering just how interesting House would continue to make his life with Lisa in the years to come.

* * *

There were times when it really bothered Cuddy that Lucas was such a gentleman. While she understood his reasons for not spending the night while her parents were in town, tonight she really wished he had stayed. Her mother had been quick to ease her mind regarding the stripper but her father had obviously not been ready to drop the subject, mentioning it several times after Lucas had gone home for the night, even when she'd explained that it was a prank pulled by an unruly employee. Her mother had immediately known who she was referring to but Cuddy could tell her father was still in the dark, and she wanted it to remain like that. Her father had issues with House. He always had. And while right now she was upset with him as well, she didn't need her father to get involved in this. It was clear to her that he wanted to though. He had already demanded several times that she fire the guy responsible. She was just thankful he hadn't been present for the fiasco this morning.

Cuddy tossed and turned, wishing Lucas was there to hold her. She couldn't decide whether her best course of action would be to confront House in the morning or let it slide, as if it had never taken place. How much farther could he really take this?

* * *

House thought the stripper thing was brilliant. For sure the minute he saw Lucas pull in her driveway, followed only a moment later by her father's car, House had been prepared for fireworks. He couldn't imagine anything throwing a damper on Cuddy's relationship than walking in on a stripper's performance. Her dad's presence was just the icing on the cake. House knew him. He remembered very well how Cuddy's dad could react at times. He hadn't waited around to see what would happen, expecting Cuddy to show up at his place within the hour. When she hadn't he'd come to the conclusion that she was still out there trying to calm people down. He went to bed that night, contentedly imagining Lucas's face when he spotted the stripper, only wishing he'd been inside to see it firsthand.

* * *

Monday morning Cuddy walked into her office, still uncertain about how to deal with House. She turned on her computer, suddenly remembering that he'd changed the password Friday and she'd probably be forced to either seek him out and demand it from him, or find the IT guy and see if he could bypass it somehow, allowing her to change it again. However when her computer booted up, no password was required. She groaned when she saw the desktop background House had uploaded. It was a nice close-up of the ice sculpture, from the bust up. She gritted her teeth and instantly opened up the control panel to change it to a picture of Rachel she'd e-mailed to herself the week before. She was going to kill him if he didn't grow weary of his own game soon. But at least the station manager had been willing to exclude that from their segment the night before.

Lucas called at lunchtime to make sure they were still on for dinner that night. Cuddy wrote herself a note to leave by five in order to get home with enough time to freshen up, adding the restaurant name and time of their reservation out of habit. She just never knew how crazy Mondays would get and a note sounded like a really good idea.

* * *

Cuddy was off doing her rounds when House slipped into her office. He had intended to flip a few drawers or something, just to keep life interesting, but then the note on her desk caught his eye. He smiled, his interest holding. Not wanting to be caught, he limped his way out of her office and casually walked through the clinic. Reaching his office, he quickly googled the restaurant before dialing the number.

"Yes, this is Lisa Cuddy's assistant. She said something came up and she won't be needing that dinner reservation tonight," House informed the Maitre d'.

"I'm sorry sir, but I don't see a reservation for Ms. Cuddy here," the man replied, double-checking the registry.

Lucas had made the reservation? House thought in surprise. That was impressive. "Oh, I'm sorry. I believe it's under Lucas Douglas," he corrected.

"Oh, here it is. Okay. So you are sure about this? They want to give up their reservation?" the man inquired.

"Did I say I'd be cancelling it?" House asked, rethinking this as he remembered how long in advance you generally had to make a reservation there. "So silly of me. No, I just need to change the name on the table to Greg House and up it from two people to three." Even as he said it he knew this was asking for trouble. But then maybe that was a good thing. Hadn't he been trying to stir up trouble?

The Maitre d' thought this was all a little suspect, but frankly he had work to do and so he crossed out Lucas Douglas, penciling in Greg House and changing the number from two to three. "Alright sir, I've altered the reservation as requested."

"Thank you," House replied contentedly, hanging up the phone before leaning back in his chair with his arms behind his head. He couldn't wait. Though he better make sure he was out of here in plenty of time to run home and grab his suit before getting to the restaurant, hopefully in time to witness Cuddy's initial meltdown from a safe distance.

* * *

Cuddy scrolled through the patient files on her desk, looking for something to send House's way to keep him out of her hair for a while. Somehow she knew he was somewhere, plotting and planning, scheming about his next attempt to get her riled. The best way she could think of to keep him in check was to make him too busy to have free time on his hands. Since she didn't want to have to go to him, clinic duty was out. She'd get on him about that tomorrow. Finding a file she thought he'd like, she called in her assistant, sending her upstairs a moment later with it in hand. Cuddy just hoped that this would all boil over soon.

* * *

House stood in the shadows of the woods across from the restaurant, grinning from ear to ear when Cuddy and Lucas came back out of the restaurant, both of them looking rather upset.

He sobered but then headed in their direction. "Well what do we have here?" he asked as if he was shocked to run into them.

Lucas just looked at him but Cuddy was eyeing him worriedly. From the looks of things, House guessed she hadn't mentioned the rooftop incident to her boy toy. He considered that a moment and decided it was a good sign. If she was covering up a kiss that she hadn't even reciprocated, it probably meant that she might have wanted to. "What are you two lovebirds doing here?" he asked cheerfully.

"Leaving," Lucas responded after giving House a suspicious look. "Apparently our dinner reservation was cancelled somehow."

"Oh, pish posh," House exclaimed, dragging it out exaggeratedly. "That's okay. I have a dinner reservation. You can join me if you'd like. Since you're already here I mean."

"What do you mean you have a dinner reservation?" Cuddy asked him, sounding for all the world like she'd ring his neck if she got the chance.

"Turns out someone cancelled earlier today and I was able to snatch it up," he quipped, grinning from ear to ear as if it was the most luckiest thing that could ever happen to him.

Cuddy took two steps in his direction, her finger up in his face as she scowled at him. "You CANCELLED our reservation and STOLE it!"

Lucas grabbed her arm and pulled her away from House before she could do him any physical harm. She looked away from House and at him, still fuming. Lucas shrugged and then looked back at House, "Sure. We'll join you."

"Join him?!" Cuddy bit out. "It's OUR reservation!"

"Now, now, Cuddles. Just because someone cancelled yours, doesn't mean it was me," House declared, shaking a finger at her like she was behaving like a naughty child.

"Argh!" she exclaimed from between clenched teeth, her eyes practically begging Lucas to release her so that she could kill him.

He sighed but pulled her a little ways away so they could talk. "Let's just join him. I know what he's like. He's not going to give up. House has to see for himself that you are in a committed relationship and his games aren't going to work. Let's just…do it. If it doesn't work out, what have we lost?" he asked her, his head tilted to the side as he maintained eye contact with her.

"Our sanity," she mumbled then, but took a deep breath anyway. "Alright. Fine."

Lucas himself had a hard time believing he'd talked Lisa into staying. He really just wanted to get out of there as much as she did but this had to end at some point. He didn't want House to continue interfering in their relationship forever. And so it was time for a confrontation. He only hoped they could all keep it civilized. Turning back to House he said, "Alright, looks like we will be joining you."

House clapped his hands together mockingly. "Perfect," he declared, before reaching for his cane where it was resting beside him and heading inside, telling the Maitre d' he was Greg House and had a dinner reservation for three.

Cuddy glared at him but did not move to leave despite wanting to, following the Maitre d' alongside Lucas with House trailing after them. They took their seats, Lucas pulling out a chair for Cuddy before House could. Once they were all seated the waiter came with their drink menu. Cuddy ordered a wine and Lucas a beer, while House shook his head, asking for a water with lemon. Cuddy raised an eyebrow at that but didn't comment, preoccupied with how exactly she was going to manage having dinner with both Lucas AND House, without the place burning down around her.

"So," Lucas began, turning to House. "I hear you were committed."

Cuddy stared at Lucas in surprise but then turned to House, not sure who to worry more about in that moment.

"Yep," he replied, glancing away momentarily in discomfort.

"Bet that was fun," Lucas pressed.

House looked at Cuddy before undoing the top button on his shirt. "Nope," he finally replied.

"What did you do today, honey?" Cuddy asked Lucas, trying to redirect him.

Before Lucas could reply, House said, "Oh, the usual. Saved a life. You know."

Both Cuddy and Lucas stared at him then and House sat straighter in his chair. "Oh! How silly of me! You were asking Lucas?! I seriously thought the question was intended for me. You're just such a sweet talker, Cuddles!"

Lucas rolled his eyes and focused in on his girlfriend. "Stakeout," he informed her. "I have a client right now who thinks her husband is cheating."

Cuddy went to comment but as her mouth opened to form the words, House interrupted. "You must know all about cheaters, Lucas," he asked in interest. "I bet you'd know just how to escape getting caught after all your experience hunting them down."

"House!" Cuddy protested, wanting nothing more than to hit him for that.

But Lucas just looked amused. "Tell me more about your days in the psych ward House," he inquired, leaning forward in his chair.

"Good times, good times," House said cheerfully, not allowing it to get to him this time.

Cuddy looked back and forth between the two of them, wondering if she served any purpose at all in being here for this dinner.

"I hear you were delusional though. That you thought Lisa rode in on a white horse and saved you from all your demons," Lucas continued, more than willing to play this game.

Cuddy stared at House in horror, unable to react in any other way.

House met her gaze for a moment, hurt chiseled in his features. Then he dropped his gaze to the table, reaching for his water glass and taking a sip while he pulled himself back together.

Cuddy turned to look at Lucas in disbelief that he could say something like that and disclose something that she'd confided privately in him. He just shrugged. Turning back to House, she reached her hand out across the table towards him as if in an attempt to soothe over the wound, but he jerked his arm away. "House," she said softly, trying to apologize.

"Don't," he muttered. Setting his jaw, he met Lucas's gaze. He wasn't going to declare defeat that easily. "Yeah, but the delusions are gone," he announced after a moment.

"That's good," Lucas replied, wrapping his arm around Cuddy as the waiter came back to take their order.

House suddenly wasn't feeling all that hungry. He decided to just order an appetizer instead of a meal.

Cuddy wasn't all that hungry either, ordering a salad while Lucas ordered steak.

"Cuddles is a vegetarian, you know," House said after the waiter had left.

Cuddy looked at him and sighed. "House, don't call me that."

House didn't acknowledge her statement.

"Yeah, I know. I know a lot of things about her. She's my girlfriend," Lucas replied.

"Nothing lasts forever these days," House quipped, his face serious and yet sad, as if it was a terrible reality of life.

Cuddy rolled her eyes, ready for this meal to just come to an end already.

"Speaking of which," Lucas began. "Just how long do you think it will be before you go back on the Vicodin and wind up back in the loony bin?"

Cuddy's hands flew up to her face. "Enough already!" she declared. "Can't we just have a peaceful dinner?"

House looked at her but then laughed, appreciating the fact that he wasn't the only one who could drive her crazy. "Sure thing, Cuddles," he replied, nodding.

"Thank you!" she announced, completely overlooking his name for her as she looked up at the ceiling before returning her attention to the two of them.

They made stilted small talk until their food arrived and then the table grew silent as everyone concentrated on eating their meals. Cuddy kept shooting furtive glances from Lucas to House, hoping the peace would last. When Cuddy pushed her plate away, her hand resting on the table, Lucas reached out and covered it with his own, playing with her ring.

House's jaw tightened instinctively. He tried to concentrate his attention on Lucas's face. "So, business hopping these days?" he asked.

Lucas shrugged. "Depends on the week. But I've been doing alright."

"Well you can't just get by," House said, frowning. "You're going to have a wife and child to support soon."

Cuddy groaned. "I do have a well-paying job, House," she reminded him dryly.

"Oh, I get it! Times HAVE changed, haven't they? These days it's perfectly reasonable to assume the woman will be the main provider in the family. I had forgotten. What's the world coming to though when the man lets the woman bring home the bacon while he barely does much of anything at all? Aw well, I say screw it. Nothing beats being a freeloader."

Cuddy gaped at him but Lucas pushed his chair back and got to his feet, clearly upset.

"Maybe we should take this outside," he said then, staring at House.

House smiled, enjoying the fact that he had succeeded in getting under his skin, while Cuddy tugged on Lucas's arm, glancing around at the people in the restaurant who were now looking at them.

"You'd fight a cripple? Now, is that really fair?" House egged him.

"Shut up, House," Cuddy muttered, pulling Lucas back down into his chair. "Where is the waiter with our bill?" she murmured, looking about for him.

Right then the waiter showed up and House threw two twenties on top of the bill before sliding it halfway between Lucas and Cuddy.

Cuddy reached for it without thinking, just wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible, but Lucas grabbed it away from her, causing House's eyebrows to rise and Cuddy to shoot Lucas an apologetic look before reaching for her wine glass to take a final sip.

Once the waiter had retrieved their payment, Lucas returned his attention to House, prepared to make one final dig as he and Lisa got to their feet. "Well, thanks for dinner House, but I think it's time I take Lisa home."

"Good idea Lucas," he replied casually, also standing. "She needs her beauty rest."

"Oh, I'm not sure how much rest she'll be getting in the next couple hours, but you know how that is," Lucas taunted, quickly being elbowed by Cuddy who was mortified that he was hinting about their sex life to House of all people. He ignored her. "Oh that's right! It wasn't real when it happened last for you. You just deluded yourself about having sex with her. How did I forget that?"

"That's true, but you should have seen the kiss we shared last week," House fired back. "Oh, but you didn't know about that," he said as if he'd given away more than he'd meant to. "Huh. Wonder why Cuddles didn't tell you about it?"

Lucas looked at Cuddy then, waiting for her to deny it, sure that House was just trying to rile him up.

"I didn't kiss back," she adamantly declared, her hand on his sleeve.

But Lucas jerked away from her and then turned, heading for the door without further comment.

Cuddy went to follow him but changed her mind halfway to the door and stormed back to House. "You had no right!" she angrily informed him. "You know I didn't return your kiss."

House looked down at his feet, knowing he'd lashed out at Lucas and brought Cuddy into it without intending to. At least not to the extent he had. "He just got to me," he muttered quietly, as if to apologize.

"House, you need to get this through your head! The past is the past! There is nothing between us now," she declared hotly. "I am not with you! I will NEVER be with you! All these games, all your attempts to get my attention, they aren't doing any good. You're acting like a child. Be a man for once! Back off and leave me alone! I'm with Lucas and I'm happy with Lucas. Quit trying to ruin things for me!" And with that she turned and quickly headed for the door, not looking back. House stood there, watching her go. He still couldn't believe she'd told Lucas about his delusion. Whatever happened to confidentiality?! That was just cruel. But, he could get past that. What he wasn't sure he could get past was if she truly meant what she was saying; that there was nothing between them anymore. Could it be that he couldn't win her because he'd lost her long ago? House sighed and headed for the door, wondering if he was wrong in believing he and Cuddy stood a shot if only he could convince her that he was the right guy for her. If she had truly moved on though, how was he going to convince her to come back?

-----

"**_I think I've already lost you  
I think you're already gone  
I think I'm finally scared now  
You think I'm weak, I think you're wrong  
I think you're already leaving  
Feels like your hand is on the door  
I thought this place was an empire  
But_** **_now I'm relaxed and I can't be sure_**

**_But I think you're so mean - I think we should try  
I think I could need - this in my life and  
I think I'm scared - I think too much  
I know it's wrong, it's a problem, I'm dealing_**

**_If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home  
There's an awful lot of breathing room  
But I can hardly move  
And if you're gone - baby you need to come home  
'Cause there's a little bit of something of me  
In everything in you_**

**_I bet you're hard to get over  
I bet the room just won't shine  
I bet my hands I can stay here  
I bet you need - more than you mind_**

**_And I think you're so mean - I think we should try  
I think I could need - this in my life and  
I think I'm scared - that I know too much  
I can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling_**

**_If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home  
There's an awful lot of breathing room  
But I can hardly move  
If you're gone - baby you need to come home  
There's a little bit of something of me  
In everything in you_**

**_I think you're so mean - I think we should try  
I think I could need - this in my life and  
I think I'm scared - do I talk too much?  
I know it's wrong, it's a problem, I'm dealing_**

**_If you're gone - maybe it's time to come home  
There's an awful lot of breathing room  
But I can hardly move  
And if you're gone - baby you need to come home  
There's a little bit of something of me  
In everything in you"_**

* * *

Song: "If You're Gone" (Matchbox Twenty)


	13. Jealous Guy

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

December 24th, 2009

It was Christmas Eve and House had left work, trying to think of a gift to buy Cuddy's kid. His plan regarding Hanukkah had backfired. He'd made a poor call. With the deadline of Cuddy's future marriage hanging over his head he'd forgotten that what she wanted had changed in between the last time she'd been interested in venturing into a relationship with him and the moment she realized what being a mother apparently entailed in her eyes. His only hope was to prove to her that he too could be dependable; that he too could care for her and Rachel both. And then he'd be able to remind her of what she was attracted to in him. As long as he first covered his bases and proved himself to be a man that Cuddy could trust and respect. Of course, it had also taken him a while to nurse his pride after that night in the restaurant, the realization that Cuddy had told all to Lucas weighing on him but not half as much as her parting words to him had. However, House wasn't about to give up. He just couldn't. He couldn't walk away. No, what he'd needed was to process and regroup. Now he was ready to move forward, hoping that there was still time to get her to change her mind about him, and then, Lucas.

He hadn't seen Cuddy much lately. Her mother, he knew, was intending to stay on through New Year's, though Cuddy's father had left right after Hanukkah ended. House knew all this because he'd overheard one of the nurses asking Cuddy about her plans during the holidays, not because he'd heard it from Cuddy herself. She was avoiding him as if he had the plague, which he was beginning to think might not be half bad compared to what he was truly suffering from.

He wandered store after busy store quickly realizing that he wasn't the only last minute shopper. Thankfully, he spotted exactly what he wanted in time to get in the long line before the store closed. It was an oversized light-toned teddy bear, plush and velvety, playing music when you wound it from underneath. It would cost him plenty but it was a worthwhile investment. After all, what little girl wouldn't love it? And if Rachel loved it, maybe Cuddy would too.

He told the people at the counter to forego wrapping it, asking for a simple bow instead. They found the biggest bow they had and wrapped it around the bear's neck, handing it back to him. House thanked them and walked out of the shop, limping to his car and setting it on the passenger seat before turning on the engine and cranking the hot air as it was freezing out.

He toyed with the idea of waiting until tomorrow but then turned his car in the direction of Cuddy's house, wanting to see her, wanting to follow through and fight for her. Their last encounter had been quite…emotional. Too emotional, he thought. House swore to himself that wouldn't happen on his end tonight. He parked on the street before heading up the walkway, watching out for patches of ice. Tucking the bear under his arm he rang the doorbell, hoping that Lucas would not be around tonight and he might have Cuddy all to himself. But if Lucas was around, he promised himself right then and there that he wouldn't get into a fight with him this time.

It wasn't Cuddy who opened the door though. Standing before him was Evelyn Cuddy, Lisa's mother. He smiled broadly at her exclamation of delight and how she rushed to hug him. Cuddy's mom had always adored him, even though the last time he'd encountered Cuddy's parents her dad couldn't stand him. But then, back at med school Cuddy had once said it wasn't just him that her dad objected to; that he was like that with every guy she dated.

House hadn't seen Evelyn in years, though he had spoken to her on the phone a few times when he'd been trying to get his hands on Cuddy's desk. He returned her hug heartily, laughing at her enthusiasm.

"Are you going to make me stand out here in the cold all night or are you going to invite me in?" he teased.

"Oh!" she declared, her hands flying up to her cheeks in embarrassment. "How rude of me! Please! Come in!"

"You haven't aged a day since the last time I saw you," House told her then, his eyes sweeping over her.

Evelyn blushed and said, "Oh, you! Look at you turning on the charm! You're so full of it. But thank you all the same. Now, give me your coat."

He obediently removed it and watched her hang it in the closet, grinning broadly, genuinely glad to see her. If it turned out that Cuddy wasn't happy to see him, which was undeniably what he expected, at least her mother was.

"Lisa, Greg's here!" Evelyn called out. He followed her into the living room, his eyes falling on Cuddy and Rachel who were sitting on the couch reading a book together. Rachel caught sight of the bear and squealed, trying in vain to get out of Cuddy's lap. Cuddy set her down on the floor and she toddled for House, arms reaching for the teddy.

"It's too big for you to carry, kid," he told her, kneeling awkwardly to get down to her level. He reached below the bear and turned the key until it was fully wound up. Then he balanced himself before lifting Rachel up and into his arms to join the teddy bear there, taking the place on the couch next to Cuddy.

He glanced at her, all too aware that she had remained silent, her face set in stone. "Hey," he said softly before returning his attention to Rachel who was babbling happily and patting the teddy with forceful blows.

"What are you doing here?" Cuddy asked, her expression distrustful and uncertain. Unlike her mother, Cuddy was not in the least bit pleased to see him. After she'd run out of the restaurant that day, it had taken quite some time to even get Lucas to speak to her, though at least he had waited by the car for her. She'd spent the whole ride home trying to explain what had happened on the rooftop and why she hadn't mentioned it. She told him repeatedly that it hadn't meant anything to her and that she'd quickly shoved House away, getting away from him as quickly as possible. And when they pulled into her driveway she sat there silently, waiting for him to say something. He'd finally sighed and accepted her apology, walking her to the door a moment later. And while everything had been fine between them since, she knew if House was still here when Lucas returned it wouldn't be good. Coming back to the present she stared him down, waiting for him to answer her question. She'd cooled down a lot since that night but it didn't mean she was going to let him play any more games.

"Aren't you happy to see me Cuddles?" House provoked, his eyes dancing with laughter.

She gave him a hard look and Evelyn chose that moment to intercede. "I'm so glad you stopped by! I haven't seen you in WAY too long! How are you?! How have you been?!"

House heard Cuddy sigh but ignored her exasperation. He found it rather gratifying to know her own mother could irritate her just by being pleased to see him. "I'm good. Work's been keeping me busy. Your daughter is a slave driver."

"Lisa, honey, you really shouldn't work this man so hard," Evelyn dutifully admonished. "Look at him! He could stand some fattening up and he looks like he could benefit from at least a solid week's worth of sleep." She refocused her attention on House then in order to ask, "Will you be staying for dinner?"

"No!" Cuddy negated, receiving surprised looks from both of them at the vehemence in her voice.

"Lisa!" her mother scolded. "That's rude!"

House bit back a smile. "Yeah, Cuddles. You're just being rude," he chimed in. "And it's Christmas. Time for peace and cheer, good will to all. You know. All that positive holiday spirit."

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Mom, Lucas should be here any moment. We agreed on a quiet family dinner."

"But Greg's family," Evelyn protested.

"Yeah, I'm FAMILY, Cuddles," he repeated playfully, bouncing Rachel in his lap though his eyes were focused on Cuddy.

"Stop calling me Cuddles," she gritted out between her teeth.

"I think it's a sweet nickname, Greg," Evelyn said, patting his arm reassuringly before lifting Rachel from his arms. "Come on, darling. You need a diaper change." The baby happily waved at House, her other hand holding on tightly to the bear Evelyn had also taken with her. House watched them go and then raised his arm up into the air, wrapping it around Cuddy and pulling her close. He heard her sharp intake of breath and grinned broadly.

"Get your hands off of me," she protested snottily, shoving him away.

He chuckled but removed his arm as requested.

"I don't know what your game is tonight but you can't stay House," she told him sternly, pushing herself to her feet. "After what you did, you're lucky I still employ you."

"Hey, it wasn't all me," House said in his defense. "And you can't fire me every time I make you mad."

Just then the front door opened and closed and they both turned to see Lucas enter, stomping the snow from his feet in the front hallway. He looked up and caught sight of them, freezing in his place.

"Honey," Cuddy said happily, walking to Lucas to wrap her arms around him and give him a kiss that House suspected was as much for his benefit as Lucas's. Jealousy came to a boil inside his gut and he met her eyes when she turned back to him with a mixture of annoyance and anger. But then he remembered that he had committed himself to behaving this time and so he looked at Lucas, nodding a greeting.

"House," Lucas acknowledged, obviously bothered by his presence. "What are you doing here?"

"He came with a Christmas gift for Rachel. Isn't that sweet?" Evelyn said as she bustled back into the room with a clean Rachel, handing her back to House.

"Rachel's Jewish," Lucas said then.

Cuddy crossed her arms over her chest. "He was just about to leave."

"No I wasn't," House replied, smugly meeting Cuddy's glare.

"Oh, Lisa, for heaven's sake! He just got here!" Evelyn rebuked. "Greg, can I get you anything? Lucas? A beer? A glass of wine? Lisa? What about you?"

Lucas said he'd take a beer and Cuddy asked for a glass of wine, but House shook his head. "No. I don't drink anymore," he replied without thinking, earning himself surprised looks from all three of the adults present. "I was urged to avoid alcohol at least for a time when I got off the Vicodin," he quickly explained, feeling uncomfortable at being in the spotlight. He turned his attention to Rachel who patted his face consolingly as if she understood, earning her a smile from House in the process.

Evelyn went into the kitchen and came back moments later with a beer and a half-full wine glass. She passed the drinks out and noticing the awkward silence, waved House into the kitchen. "Rachel was just about to eat her supper when you arrived, before going to bed. Why don't you come keep me company and tell me what you have been up to?"

House nodded, avoiding both Cuddy and Lucas's gaze as he followed after Evelyn. He figured it was probably a good idea to retreat while he had opportunity. Cuddy's mom took Rachel from him, placing her in the highchair. House pulled out a chair nearby and sank into it. He could just make out Lucas asking Cuddy what he was doing there. Unfortunately, or then again, maybe fortunately, he couldn't hear her reply. He smiled, somewhat chagrined, but Evelyn threw him a conspiring wink. House raised his eyebrows. "You little vixen," he whispered in shock. "You want them apart almost as much as I do."

She smiled but shrugged. "Oh, I don't mind Lucas. I think he's very nice. I just think maybe he's…too nice. You know what I mean? Lisa, well, she needs a man who won't let her control everything. She's been a control freak her whole life. Don't get me wrong. I am very proud of her and of her achievements. But my daughter would be better off if she wasn't always in charge. With Lucas, she always will be. And besides," she added then, her voice softening with affection. "You know I have a soft spot for you. You were the first man Lisa really fell hard for. All these years I've waited for you two to get your act together. I thought that was about to happen when you, quite romantically mind you, called for her desk. But then…it didn't. You've wasted a lot of time, Greg," Evelyn chided. "You're running out of opportunities. She's slipping out of your grasp. You better pull out all the stops."

House chuckled, reaching out to pat her cheek in tenderness. "Don't let Cuddy hear you say any of that. She's denying she ever had feelings for me at all."

Her lips curved up in a wry smile. "You let me worry about my daughter and how she reacts to anything I might let slip."

House nodded, reaching forward to wipe the last of the mashed potatoes from Rachel's chin. "Good stuff," he acknowledged after tasting it from his finger.

Evelyn laughed, picking up the washcloth to wipe the baby down. "If you stick around, I'll see to it that you get your own plate's worth."

He nodded but then Cuddy's voice came from the living room, loud enough for both of them to hear. "So what do you want me to do? Kick him out? You realize my mother's here? She adores House. What can I do about it?"

Evelyn shot him a glance before removing Rachel from the highchair. House followed her back out, noting the tension between Cuddy and Lucas.

"She's all set. Just needs her pajamas on and then it's nighty, night time Rachie," Evelyn said, kissing her cheek soundly before holding her out for Cuddy to take.

"I'll do it," Lucas interjected, reaching for Rachel. "Come on sweetheart." House watched his nemesis walk away with Cuddy's baby in tow, conscious of the jealousy within him kicking up a notch.

"Are you going to try and give Rachel a brother or sister?" Evelyn asked Cuddy, it being on her mind after seeing Rachel and Lucas together.

"I…I don't know. We haven't talked about having more children. But of course I'd love to. I'd love to try and get pregnant again," she replied hesitantly, all too aware of House's eyes on her.

House frowned, staring at Cuddy. What did she mean? They hadn't talked about it? Didn't she know? A wave of anger engulfed him. Was Lucas intentionally deceiving Cuddy into believing he could give her children? House knew from something he'd said a few months ago that the guy was sterile. "Lucas can't give you children," he bit out, not bothering to be sensitive about it.

"House," Cuddy responded in irritation, "Whatever your latest theory is, I don't want to hear it."

That just made House more determined to make her listen. Evelyn looked at him closely, scrutinizing his face. "He can't," he continued. "Lucas is sterile."

"That's just ridiculous, House! Don't you think I'd know that if that was the case?! Of all the mean-spirited things to say!" Cuddy yelled, none of them noticing Lucas come back down the hall.

"He can't, Cuddy," House shouted back.

"Lucas would have told me if he couldn't have children," Cuddy declared. "We don't keep things from each other! We actually have a wonderful relationship, DESPITE what you would like to believe! This has to stop House! Quit trying to ruin things for me!"

Everyone noticed Lucas at the same time, standing there uncomfortably and obviously distressed. Cuddy misread the reason why he was upset. "House is leaving now," she told him soothingly, going to him.

But Lucas took a step back from her. "You never said you wanted to try and have children," he murmured, agonized over this piece of information.

Cuddy recoiled slightly, trying to grasp his meaning. "I hadn't really thought much about it. I figured we'd discuss it down the road. You are great with Rachel. I assumed you'd want to be a daddy," she answered, confusion marking her features.

He shook his head. "It isn't that I don't want to be a dad. It's that House is right. I can't have children. I thought… I…should have told you. It just never occurred to me. I thought you were happy with just having Rachel. And I assumed you couldn't have children since you tried IVF and it never took."

House and Evelyn just stood there, House having the intelligence to keep his mouth shut and Evelyn unsure what to say.

Cuddy shook her head, trying to muddle through her thoughts. "You can't have children? House is right?"

Lucas nodded sadly. "No, Lisa, I can't. That's not something I can offer you."

Silence descended for several minutes before Cuddy rallied. "It doesn't matter, Lucas. I don't need to have more children. Rachel's enough for me. And even if you were able to have kids, you're probably right regarding my inability to carry them. Plus, I am several years older than you. I'm probably teetering on the edge of menopause."

"I'm gonna go," Lucas said then, not bothering to respond to Cuddy's declaration of acceptance. He walked around her to grab his coat from the front hallway.

"Why?" she responded in surprise, frowning as her forehead knit in concern.

"I think maybe I was right to question whether things would work out for us in the end," he mumbled, not meeting her gaze. "There's just too much conspiring against us. Between House and now realizing that you want children I can't give you…"

"No! Lucas, don't. Please stay! Let's talk about this!" she pleaded, trailing after him.

He shook his head, not making eye contact with anyone as he shoved his feet into his shoes. "No. I can't marry you, Lisa."

"Why…why not?" she choked out as he pulled the front door open.

"I don't want to spend the rest of my life questioning whether I robbed you of your chance to have more children and wondering if you secretly resent me for it," he replied seriously, his eyes pained.

She frantically shook her head to indicate that wouldn't happen. "I love you! I love you, Lucas! And I want to be with you! Even if it means not having more children."

"Even if?" He sighed and then stepped out the door. "I don't want it to be at that cost. And House…shouldn't have had to be the one to tell you. I should have long ago. Maybe…maybe I knew all along that this would never work out and I just deluded myself into thinking it could. I… Maybe House is right. And maybe I should have recognized truth for what it was months ago. Maybe you allow him to stay around because you know he's right. Maybe you are with the wrong guy." With that he turned and quickly walked down the path to his car, a speechless Cuddy watching him in stunned silence.

When he started to pull out of the drive she sprang into action, running after him without a coat and in her bare feet. "Lucas, wait!" He was totally overreacting to this, she thought. But if he heard her he didn't stop. A few moments later his taillights faded in the distance.

Evelyn took House's arm, dragging him into the kitchen to give her daughter some privacy.

"When I said pull out all the stops, that wasn't exactly what I was thinking," she said in a hushed tone, rubbing her face in her hands.

"I realize that. I…thought he was lying to her and I…got all bent out of shape about it. I handled that all wrong. She's never going to forgive me for this," House muttered drearily, his tone reflecting his inner turmoil. "I should go."

"What? How?" Evelyn asked skeptically. "What are you going to do? Sneak out through the garage door to avoid her? Just wait. Give her a chance to yell at you or something. You can't just leave me to deal with this. She's going to need to relieve some of her emotional distress. You seem to make a good target. Plus, you've got thick skin."

"Maybe not thick enough," he murmured under his breath, but he stayed all the same.

"I'm sorry I ruined your Christmas," he said after a minute or so.

She smiled tenderly at him, reaching out to pat his arm. "We're Jewish, dear. It's not like you ruined Hanukkah."

House tossed her a brief grin. Men always complained about their in-laws but he truly believed she would be the best mother-in-law he could wish for, if only…

The front door slammed and Cuddy charged into the kitchen, her finger raised at House, hot tears blazing trails down her cheeks. "Get out!" she screamed, her eyes fiery with unsuppressed rage.

His shoulder slumped in defeat. For once he intended to extend a real apology. "I'm sorry Cuddy. I didn't mean to hurt you. I thought he was keeping something from you and I didn't want you to walk blindly into something like that. I just…"

"You're just jealous that I've found someone I want to spend the rest of my life with," she filled in, still yelling. "I don't care about you, House! You're always ruining my life! I want you out and I want you out now!"

"Lisa! Honey, please. You're going to wake up Rachel," her mother tried to entreat. But it was too late. There was a wail from the direction of Rachel's room.

Cuddy ignored it. "Get out!" she yelled again, her face turning red.

He nodded, turning sorrowfully to give Evelyn a kiss on the cheek. Somehow he cared for her beyond what their relationship justified and almost like he loved his own mother. He had from the moment he'd walked into her house as a med student and had her embrace him as if he was a part of the family already.

Evelyn recognized how defeated he felt by this and couldn't help herself. She enfolded him into her embrace, ignoring her daughter's scathing glare. When he drew back, she brought her hands up to his face, cupping his cheeks in a gesture reminiscent of his final moments with Cuddy before going to Mayfield. "You take care of yourself, Greg," she whispered to him, her voice soft with affection.

He nodded, choked up by her complete acceptance of him, flaws and all. House turned then and left the room, only pausing briefly to look back at Cuddy who turned away instantly. Finally he continued walking, quietly slipping out of Cuddy's house. She was right, of course. He was jealous. But how could he have felt anything else, seeing her with Lucas and knowing that once upon a time, he'd been the one rightfully claiming her as his? He was jealous. But he had also tried to do right by her, not wanting her to marry Lucas at all but certainly not without knowing Lucas wouldn't be able to give her biological children. He knew his outburst had accomplished – or for the moment, seemed to accomplish – what he'd been hoping would take place, ending the relationship between Cuddy and Lucas. But he hadn't meant to hurt her. He hadn't wanted that. And he certainly didn't mean to once again make her cry. House climbed in his car, exhaling his frustration. He questioned whether Cuddy would be able to get past this and whether in his jealous state he'd lost any chance he'd had for a future with her.

-----

_**"I was dreaming of the past  
And my heart was beating fast  
I began to lose control  
I began to lose control  
I didn't mean to hurt you  
I'm sorry that I made you cry  
I didn't want to hurt you  
I'm just a jealous guy**_

_**I was feeling insecure  
You might not love me anymore  
I was shivering inside  
I was shivering inside  
No, I didn't mean to hurt you  
I'm sorry that I made you cry  
I didn't want to hurt you  
No, I didn't  
I'm just a jealous guy**_

_**I'm jealous, jealous, jealous  
I'm jealous, jealous, jealous  
I'm jealous, jealous, jealous  
I'm jealous, jealous  
I'm just a jealous guy"**_

* * *

Song: "Jealous Guy" (Gavin DeGraw)


	14. Catalyst

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Time for me to up the rating to M. Sorry! Don't see any way around that. Here's two chapters coming your way!)_

* * *

"You are supposed to be my mother," Cuddy declared angrily, once House's car pulled away from the front of the house.

"Honey, I AM your mother!" Evelyn said sympathetically, passing her a tissue. "And I love you more than words can say! But I've known Greg since you were just a girl pursuing her dreams. He used to be one of those dreams you were pursuing," her mother reminded her then, her voice steady.

"Mother, that's ancient history! I am with Lucas now," Cuddy pointed out sternly. Neither one of them bothered to acknowledge the questionability of that statement.

"I know that dear. And he is a fine man. I like Lucas and if you think he will make you happy I encourage you to go after him. I just…I have a soft spot in my heart for the first guy who ever really turned your head and who you were once head over heels for. He loves you, even after all these years. And…Greg's the kind of guy that…once he's wormed his way into your heart, you find yourself unable to free yourself from," she murmured, looking tenderly at her daughter.

"You do realize you've just described a parasite," Cuddy asked in frustration, her arms folded over her chest, an eyebrow raised warily.

Evelyn smiled. "Somehow I don't think Greg would be offended by that."

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "I'm going to go check on Rachel. Then I'm going to drive over to Lucas's place and see if I can't undo whatever damage House caused tonight."

Her mother nodded, sighing when Cuddy was gone. What would it take for that stubborn child of hers to open her eyes and see that the man she needed and wanted had been in front of her all this time?

* * *

Cuddy drove by Lucas's apartment but it appeared that no one was home. She circled the block and came back, pulling into the parking lot. Retrieving the key he had given her from her purse, she let herself into the complex. Not wanting to be presumptuous she knocked on his door before turning the key. Then Cuddy searched the apartment thoroughly, but Lucas wasn't home. Cuddy sighed and went into the kitchen, grabbing the notepad by the fridge. "Lucas, give me a call when you see this. Please! We need to talk. We can make this work!" she scrawled out, adding that she loved him before signing her name. She couldn't believe this was how her Christmas Eve was coming to an end. Now is not the time to panic, Cuddy told herself. It wasn't over. He'd come around. She looked sadly around the apartment once more and then headed out, knowing that she needed to get home. Maybe he'd realize on his own that he was overreacting to something that they could work through. Hopefully he'd be there waiting for her by the time she got home.

* * *

Christmas Day passed and Cuddy did not hear a word from Lucas. By the end of the day, fear had clawed its way into her, consuming her. She went back by his apartment the next afternoon after calling his cell phone all day without result. Her note still sat untouched in the kitchen. He hadn't even been there.

Panicking, Cuddy drove down to the police station with a couple pictures of Lucas in her purse. She went inside and rushed to the detective at the front desk who was busy talking to someone on the phone.

"I need to file a missing person's report," she quickly informed him, ignoring the fact that he was occupied.

He glanced at her, raising a finger to tell her she needed to be patient.

Cuddy was not pleased but she had no choice. She wrapped her arms around herself and paced back and forth in front of him. When he finally hung up she came to a halt and stepped back up to the desk. "I need to file a missing person's report," she repeated earnestly.

He looked at her for a moment and then pulled out a form from one of the drawers, handing it to her.

"Who's missing?" he asked as he searched the desk for a pen.

When he extended one for her to take, she took it and said, "His name is Lucas Douglas. He's my fiancé."

"How long has he been missing?" the detective asked then.

"Since Christmas Eve," Cuddy answered, biting her lip as she filled out the form. "He was at my house and we had a misunderstanding. He called off our wedding and walked out. I haven't seen him since. He doesn't answer his phone. He hasn't been back to his apartment. This isn't at all like him and I'm worried that something is horribly wrong."

The detective rolled his eyes. How many times had he heard a variation of this same story? He reached to take the form back but Cuddy recognized his attitude and pulled it out of his reach. "I know you think I'm just a crazy woman who's reacting irrationally but honestly, this isn't like him at all! I really am worried! You have to look for him!"

He sighed but didn't make another move to take the form from her. "Ma'am, this sounds more like a lover's quarrel than something serious that would motivate us to take action. We have more important things to do than hunt down missing boyfriends. There are people you can hire to do that."

"My fiancé IS a private detective," she murmured in frustration.

"Well then he probably knows how to avoid detection until he wants to be found," the detective said pointedly. "We cannot afford to waste time searching for someone who just doesn't want to be found."

"Please," Cuddy begged. "Please just let me fill out the form and then take it from me."

He stared at her a moment but then nodded slightly. "Alright ma'am. But afterwards I would really suggest that you just go home and wait this out. I'm sure he'll show up in a few days."

* * *

Cuddy drove home from the police station, unconvinced that the police department would do anything. When she got home she sat about the house, her stress building, unable to force herself into doing anything productive. She realized her mom was watching her concernedly, uncertain as to how to help her, but Cuddy ignored her, curling up on the couch with a steaming mug of tea, the phone in her lap, and Rachel playing nearby. She sighed, glancing out the window for the hundredth time that hour, hoping to spot his car as it pulled up.

She knew she was due back at work Monday and for a moment she was almost relieved, needing the distraction because sitting here and waiting was putting her on edge. But then she remembered that she'd be stuck with House and her blood would start to boil just thinking about it. This was all his fault! Lucas could be anywhere by now and it was all because House couldn't stay out of her personal life! She didn't even want to think about what her first encounter with him at work would be like. She knew all it would take would be for him to push one of her buttons and she'd come undone.

* * *

House worked through the holidays, needing the distraction. It seemed like every minute Cuddy would come to mind and he'd go back and forth, wondering if she and Lucas had worked things out, whether she was still ticked with him, or if he had any chance of ever convincing her that he could be the man for her.

House planned to spend the weekend at home but on the 27th he ended up getting a patient. He stayed through the night rather than having his team stay and it felt good to be busy. The 28th rolled around though and he was still no closer to knowing what was wrong. He could find no way around the risky procedures he knew he'd need Cuddy's approval for. He wasn't sure what he'd find when he got to her office but he had a feeling it wouldn't be Cuddy standing there, welcoming him, ready to give him a shot at making her happy now.

When he found Cuddy in her office back from her time off, it quickly became apparent where things stood between them. She started out silent but when he opened his mouth and immediately directed her attention to his patient and House's needs for her signature, figuring being professional about this was the best route to take, her eyes turned to steel and she drew herself up for battle, causing House's back to come up waiting for it.

He had been right to assume she'd be difficult. Honestly, there was no reasoning with her. She was obviously still so pissed off with him that she could have cared less about the patient. She turned down every test he named, one by one ruling out all his suggestions as to how they could determine what it was the patient was suffering from. He saved the crazier ideas 'til last, just to push her. House wasn't blind. He gritted his teeth and balled his fists but Cuddy was not about to cave. Nor was she interested in being reasonable. All that mattered to her was punishing House and it didn't take him long to reach the limits of his tolerance. There quickly came a point where he had to acknowledge that she was being downright ridiculous. They'd gotten in a screaming match in her office and finally he stormed out, deciding to do the damn tests without her approval. It was insanity. He wasn't going to waste any more time fighting her. If she wanted to be that way, fine. He'd apologized that night and what more could he do about it?! He wasn't responsible for fixing everything in her life, and where Cuddy and Lucas were concerned, he had no intentions of trying. She was going to have to work through this on her own. In the meantime, he had a job to do. House wasn't going to let Cuddy get in his way, therein killing his patient, just because her "serious" relationship was in the crapper.

* * *

Cuddy had just left the office on the 30th when she got a call from a nurse, wanting to verify with her that House had approval for the battery of tests he'd done that day. If she was honest with herself, none of the tests were even beyond the norm for House, but she was too furious with him to recognize that. She told the nurse she'd deal with it.

Lucas hadn't returned any of her calls yet and she was getting desperate. The police would do nothing, or if they had done something, they weren't about to tell her. She'd left several pleading messages on his answering phone, with no response. She'd stopped by a dozen times. Now, she was at her wit's end. Cuddy was stressed to the limit, angry and ready to blow. Since her mother was at home with Rachel, she called her just briefly to tell her she had business to take care of and might not be home until late, so she shouldn't stay up waiting for her. Then she drove to the hospital, but House was no longer there, his team busily working to solve the case while he had gone home to sleep. Rather than going straight to his apartment, Cuddy made a detour to the bar, having a couple drinks but not enough to reach the legal limit before she headed to House's, ready to give him a piece of her mind with the aid of a little additional liquid courage.

* * *

House knew it didn't take a genius to figure out who stood on the other side of his door, banging savagely away. He exhaled deeply, finally deciding to answer it before a neighbor got involved in this fiasco. Turning the knob he was almost knocked off his feet as Cuddy shoved her way inside, like the angry winds of a hurricane hitting land. He moved aside and then shut the door behind her, turning to her, wishing he'd had more sleep in the last few days so that he could still go to battle, prepared for the forthcoming fight. He'd done every reasonable procedure he could think of before turning to the riskier procedures that should give him the answers he needed. If House didn't solve the case soon, he was afraid the patient would die before they figured out the cause of his problems.

"What in the hell do you think you are doing?" Cuddy immediately began in on him.

He stared at her a moment, trying to puzzle out the best approach here. He figured he'd start by trying to reason with her. "Look, my patient is in critical condition. I can't keep wasting time on useless tests. I had to start taking risks in hopes of saving his life. If you don't like it, tell me exactly what you'd like me to do, Cuddy. But I can't keep putting off my patient's needs because you are ticked off and refuse to be reasonable in this."

"You're the one playing games, House! You are purposely doing test after reckless test, risking your patient in order to push me a little bit farther! Don't try telling me that your tests are reasonable! If there's one thing, I know it's that you wouldn't know reasonable if it hit you in the face!" She was so wound up that all she wanted was for him to give her a reason to snap. Then, consequences be what they may, she'd let loose the full extent of her pent up hostility upon him. She was wound up tighter than a spinning top. If something didn't give soon, she wouldn't be held responsible for her actions.

He stood there shaking with controlled anger, his eyes reflecting how disgusted he was with what she was saying. "Come on Cuddy! What exactly are you angry about?! Don't give me this crap! I'm being perfectly reasonable here! What is this really about? My interference in your relationship with Lucas? You know I'm a jerk. You also know that I can't stand the idea of you being with anyone other than me. This is not breaking news for you! This is the way it's always been. Honestly, take a real good look at yourself and what your true feelings are! Are you really mad at me? Or are you really pissed off at yourself? You know what I think? I think you're furious because you are desperately trying to live this delusion of your own making and convince yourself that he's who you want to spend forever with. You think he's your last chance at happiness and yet something deep inside you fights it." He paused a moment before charging onward, his voice low. "Wanna know why? Well, tough, 'cause I'm going to tell you anyway! It's because deep down, you know you'll never be happy with ANYONE but me! I'm not blind. Our relationship might have changed a lot in the last months, but there are times when you flirt with me as if you aren't even in this committed relationship you seem so thoroughly and obsessively to be clinging to. Don't you think I know when you add an extra swing to your hips every time I am in the room? You think I miss your 'come hither' looks or the way you struggled when I kissed you because reality was, you wanted to respond? Maybe your real problem is that you want to have your happily ever after with him, but he's not enough for you. Be honest with yourself for once! There's no denying that the sexual chemistry you feel is not with him, but with me!" he accused, his chest heaving, hands fisting at his sides.

Before it could even occur to him to expect it, Cuddy's hand flew out and slapped him so hard that his head snapped to the side, the impact causing his cheek to throb painfully. He stared at her, stunned, blinking rapidly to rid his eyes of the moisture that had collected in them upon being slapped. Before he could speak though she angrily grabbed a fistful of his t-shirt and jerked his body into hers, yanking his head down with the other hand to meet his lips in a painful kiss. Between how his mouth smarted at the clash of their lips and teeth and then the force of her passion suddenly pouring over him, he was bowled over, lost and breathless, desperately clinging to her with all he had.

With the exception of the two kisses between himself and Cuddy on rooftops, he hadn't kissed anyone since Lydia. This kiss was nothing like the gentle, bittersweet kisses he'd shared with her. This kiss was raw passion, full of fire, anger, and lust. He returned it savagely, eyes wide open, biting her lips almost to the point of breaking the skin until she groaned and opened her mouth to him, giving him better access to taste her more fully. The thought flickered across his mind that they might reach the end of this night with souls as bruised as their lips were sure to be, but he swatted it away, probing her mouth with his tongue, wanting to know every taste bud intimately.

She tasted of wine and raspberries, tart and tangy, underneath it all the slightest hint of bitterness. House wondered if he concluded that because she really did taste bitter, or if it was just the reality of her emotions towards him and how upset she was about the break-up of her relationship with Lucas. Again he pushed the thought from his mind, determined to pour everything he could into this moment in case it was the only one he had left to show her who she really wanted to be with.

Cuddy slammed him into the wall then, the impact knocking his head back and leaving it ringing dully for a moment. He dragged her into him, his hands running along her body and sending crackles of electricity along her spine. She didn't allow herself the time to consider what she was doing, whether it was smart, or whether she'd end up regretting this for the rest of her life. She wasn't even sure where this had come from. All she knew was that she needed to release some of the energy that had built up within her and House was right, at least about the sexual chemistry between them. She didn't want to think. She didn't want to feel. She just wanted to burn off some of the steam that had been building within her over the last week and release some of the stress she was buried under.

Yanking his t-shirt roughly up and over his head, she cast it aside, her hands harshly tracing his biceps, followed by her nails scraping down his chest, right over his nipples and on down his torso. He grimaced at the pain of her rough treatment but continued battling her tongue with his as his hands slid down to her waist and around to the front to unbutton her shirt. Halfway up, she reached down and grabbed him roughly. House instantly ripped the rest of the buttons from her blouse, sending them pinging across the floor at the mixture of pleasure and pain she'd evoked in him. Her hand snaked behind her to unzip her skirt and she wiggled her hips, causing it to pool on the floor. But they were physically so close to each other that it also caused House to moan and buck wildly into her, his hands landing on her butt, pressing her into him and heightening the sensation for both of them even more.

"Take me right here," she whispered, biting his lower lip and worrying it between her teeth.

"No," he refused, slowing his movements down although he continued to slide his hands along her skin awakening ripples of heat everywhere. "In the bedroom. I want to make love to you."

Cuddy almost drew away, now wanting that at all. She just wanted one night of angry hate sex; one night to expel whatever remaining feelings she had for House that Lucas had accused her of harboring so that once and for all, it would be out of her system. But his words only gave her pause until he reached down and lifted her up so that her legs could wrap around his waist, awkwardly turning and hobbling down the hallway with her in his arms, keeping her distracted with hot kisses to her neck and the skin below her ear. At that point she surrendered to him, craving the release, craving a taste of whatever it was that remained from the past tying her to House, creating the inexplicable friction and heat and desire that so often had warred between them over the years. Cuddy closed her eyes and allowed herself to just feel as he crossed the distance until reaching his bed. Perhaps they had always been each other's addiction, she thought momentarily, surrendering to what would surely be her undoing.

-----

"**_L.A. lights never shine quite as bright as in the movies  
Still wanna go  
'Cause something here  
In the way, in the way that we're constantly moving  
Reminds you of home  
So you've taken these pills  
For to fill up your soul  
And you're drinking them down with cheap alcohol  
And I'd be inclined to be yours for the taking  
And part of this terrible mess that you're making  
But me, I'm the catalyst_**

**_When you say love is a simple chemical reaction  
Can't say I agree  
'Cause my chemical, yeah, left me a beautiful disaster  
Still love's all I see_**

**_So I'm taking these pills for to fill up my soul  
And I'm drinking them down with cheap alcohol  
And you'd be inclined to be mine for the taking  
And part of this terrible mess that I'm making  
But you, you're the catalyst_**

**_You'll be the thing  
You'll be the pain  
You'll be the star  
You'll be the road, rolling below  
The wheels of a car  
And all of your thoughts are gone  
Don't know if I'm strong enough now  
You'll be the thing  
You'll be the pain  
You'll be the  
Catalyst_**

**_These L.A. lights, no, no  
They don't shine quite as bright as back in Frisco  
Do you wanna go?  
Still wanna go?"_**

* * *

Song: "Catalyst" (Anna Nalick)


	15. Tonight I Wanna Cry

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(In my story, Cuddy and House's past was a little more extensive than reality (if...a show classifies as reality. :) Sometimes I think I really believe it is!). Hope that's okay with everyone!)_

* * *

Cuddy burrowed into House's chest, allowing him to hold her close although she knew that in reality it wasn't a good idea for either of their sakes. He had made love to her, twice, and while she hadn't reciprocated his tenderness, even turning brutal on him at times, she had been an active participant in the past few hours, certainly receiving everything he offered her in his arms, rage and passion dancing in and out of her. Deep down inside, she knew that by not ending this now she was making a big mistake but she couldn't find it in herself to untangle from his arms and the cocoon of pleasure he'd weaved around her, temporarily blocking out her anguish regarding Lucas. She pressed her nose into his chest, breathing the scent of him in and committing it to memory. Morning would soon come and she would leave. She would walk away from this and pour everything she had into winning Lucas back. Maybe it was traitorous after what she'd just shared with House, but it was the way it was. She and Lucas didn't have this insane, all-consuming chemistry between them that she and House shared. House made her blood boil, in and out of the workplace. He knew how to make her angry and how to work her buttons. He knew her in ways no one else did or probably ever would. Certainly, House knew his way around the bedroom. He was capable of pleasuring her in ways she'd never dreamed of and as no one else ever had. But Lucas could offer her what House couldn't; stability, dependability, and a future she was certain she'd be more than just content with. He'd proven to be the type of man she'd want in her daughter's life, as well as in her own. He was reliable and thoughtful, funny and charming. Those were not qualities she'd attribute to House. And it was for exactly this reason that she'd walked away from the idea of House ever meaning anything to her or being a part of her life, back when he'd entered Mayfield. The way she saw it lying there in his bed wrapped in his arms, her relationship with House had always been stormy. She imagined it always would be. But now the storm had temporarily abated and she and House could go back to being professional with one another. He would have to accept that. Because she would never allow THIS to happen again. No, what Cuddy wanted in a man was someone dependable and committed; not someone who would always be making waves in her life. Yes, what she wanted was someone very different from House and all the things he stood for. What Cuddy wanted was Lucas. But as she didn't have the slightest clue where Lucas was or how to track him down, Cuddy didn't mind indulging in what would surely be her last moment like this with the man who'd kept her bound to him in one way or another over the last twenty years.

* * *

A phone rang in the middle of the night and House lifted an arm from off Cuddy's sleeping form and reached blindly for the nightstand next to his bed, fumbling around until he found the cell phone responsible for the offensive cacophony of noise. He flipped it open and brought it to his head, mumbling "House here," into the receiver. At about the same moment, Cuddy shot up in bed, one hand yanking the blankets up to cover her chest, which was somewhat impossible as one of her legs was draped over House's hip and she was more straddling him than anything, the blanket coming from under her arm where it lay across her back to haphazardly cover her up only a fraction as much as she'd intended it to. Her hair was a mess and House was distracted from the phone as he smiled softly and turned a bit to the right so that he was on his back with Cuddy straddling him completely, his body already responding to her presence while he freed one of his hands to come up and finger the curls framing her face.

His eyes crept along her skin, intoxicating him with her beauty. But when he finally came to her face the look of horror there confused him. Then someone spoke on the phone, reminding him that he still had it up to his ear and worse yet, that it wasn't his phone he had answered. "Is this Lisa Cuddy's phone?" the voice asked and House felt like a deer caught in the headlights, not sure how to answer. It was Lucas.

Did he deny it or admit it? Was there any chance he could cover for Lisa so as to free her to deal with this minus Lucas's suspicion? Or did he admit it and claim she'd left it there accidentally? Since Cuddy and Lucas were obviously done, did it matter either way? He remained silent a moment longer and Lucas took responding out of his hands after glancing at the number he'd dialed on his cell. "This IS Lisa Cuddy's phone."

A moment of silence fell and House didn't know what to do, looking at Cuddy for an answer. She immediately grabbed the phone from his hand. "This is Lisa," she calmly said, phone pressed so tightly to her head that her fingernails were white in the soft glow of morning. There was only the sound of breathing from the other end of the line. She tried to climb off of House but she was all tangled up in the sheets and suddenly she fell out of the bed, landing on the floor, phone flying across the room.

Before he could think to keep quiet, House swung out of bed and reached for her, asking in concern, "Cuddy, are you alright?"

She knocked his hand away, hissing at him for opening his mouth again as she scrambled to grab the phone, forgetting the sheets in her haste. "Lucas?" she asked, cringing in dread.

House frowned, sitting back down on the edge of the bed and watching her. This was going to end badly for him, he suddenly realized. Whatever last night had been, it hadn't been all that he'd thought it was. Somehow, he knew now that he'd deluded himself in thinking they were finally getting somewhere.

Cuddy heard a click and then the dial tone and swore under her breath before her eyes landed on House. Her jaw clenched and she angrily accused, "You did this on purpose!"

House recoiled, looking at her as if she'd hit him. "You think I answered your phone on purpose? You think I had this all planned out? That what…I somehow knew he was going to call you this morning and intentionally answered your phone to try and maximize the damage and ensure that you'd never have a future with him?" he asked skeptically, frowning as he studied her.

"That's exactly what I think!" she gritted out from between her teeth, her hands on her hips.

House didn't allow the glory of her angry nakedness to distract him, gluing his eyes to hers. "That's what you think of me?" he muttered in irritation, clarifying just what she thought.

"House, you are a manipulative bastard who intentionally seeks to destroy other people's happiness so that they will be as miserable as you are!" she yelled. In that moment House remembered again why it was that people said, "Hell has no fury like a woman scorned." But he didn't feel in this moment that he was deserving of her contempt. She had been a willing participant of the past few hours.

"It's five in the morning, Cuddy! The only time a phone rings in my house this early is when my team calls concerning a patient! You think I somehow knew it was your phone ringing, rather than mine? I was completely passed out after several days of little sleep and after what WE spent the night doing!" he defended himself. "Next thing I know you'll be accusing me of luring you to my bed!"

She glared at him before reaching down and grabbing the sheet from the floor, wrapping it around her body. "I was drunk! You should have had the decency to send me home. You took complete advantage of the situation!"

That was going too far, he thought, enraged beyond belief. They both knew that wasn't what had happened, even if she now wanted to argue otherwise. "You might have had a couple drinks before you came over yesterday but you were not drunk, Cuddy! You knew exactly what you were doing and you were 100% willing! Furthermore, you came here of your own volition because you wanted to be here last night! You wanted to be in my bed!"

She shook her head, negating his words. "This is the last place I wanted to be!"

If he hadn't been so furious, he might have been able to see some irony in this. He stared at her for a moment, noticing for the first time that she still had her engagement ring on and wondering how he had missed that somehow in all that had happened between them the night before. In as even a tone as he could muster, his eyes the only clue to his underlying emotions with traces of hurt and sorrow embedded there, he calmly told her, "Get out of my apartment."

She clutched the sheet tighter to her and strode out of his room never looking back, the echoes of her movements and motions dying once the front door closed behind her a couple minutes later. House reached out and grabbed his alarm clock, chucking it across the room and causing it to smash into a wall, the plastic casing cracking. But it did him no good. He didn't feel any relief. All he felt was anger and a deep ache where his heart should have been.

* * *

Cuddy hurriedly made her way from House's apartment to her car, trying not to slip on the icy patches that a thin layer of snow covered on the walkway. Thankful to not see any cops on the road, she drove ten miles over the speed limit until she arrived in front of Lucas's apartment building.

Glancing up she was relieved to find the light on. She quickly made her way up the steps, pausing outside the door, hesitating before she finally summoned up the courage to knock. Lucas opened the door for her half a minute later, allowing her to enter though he did not say anything right away.

She glanced at him nervously and then smoothed out her skirt, wishing she could smooth away all her fear as easily. She turned to face him once he had shut the door and inhaled a breath, her words about to tumble out of her mouth when he spoke first.

"I'm sorry for how I walked out the other night," he began.

Cuddy rushed in, relieved, hoping that he didn't know the reason why she'd been with House when he'd called. It wasn't that she didn't know she'd have to tell him what had taken place. It was just that she hoped they'd be back on track before she'd somehow find a way to explain what she had done. "It's okay. You were upset. I understand."

Lucas stared at her for a moment and when she realized he wasn't done, her face fell. "I was upset," he agreed. "And I just needed some time to work through things. But Lisa, it's over for us."

Tears filled her eyes and she couldn't stop them from spilling down her cheeks. "I don't understand," she replied, shaking her head before wiping at her eyes. "I told you it doesn't matter if we don't have kids. Lucas, I just want you. I want to be with you. I… We have a great thing going and I don't want to lose that. I love you. You add so much to my life."

Lucas sighed. "Lisa, okay, setting aside the kid thing, I realized the other day that House will always be between us."

"No! He won't!" she disagreed adamantly. "I swear he won't."

"You were with him just now. You look a mess. You had sex with him, didn't you? I can read it in your eyes," he told her, his eyes revealing his pain and sense of betrayal upon witnessing the guilt in her expression alongside the lack of a denial.

"It didn't mean anything," she rushed to declare. "It just happened. I was scared about where you were and how you were doing. And I was angry with him for everything. I went to his apartment to confront him about something that he'd done at work. I didn't intend for it to happen. But now that it has, I promise you, it's over. It won't ever happen again. You have to believe me."

He smiled wryly then before looking away. In almost a whisper, he said, "I think you need to give him a shot."

"What?" she asked, too stunned to believe she had heard him right.

"You have known each other for twenty some years. You have a history. You are both committed to keeping the other in your life." When she looked like she would argue, he tilted his head, giving her a look before pressing on. "Listen, you hired him. You've put up with his crap all these years. You just slept with him. There's a reason for that." Solemnly he continued, "The wedding's off, Lisa."

"But I don't want to BE with him!" she declared, her tone intense. "What happened last night… It was a mistake! An awful mistake! Lucas, you have to believe me when I tell you that I'm not interested in being with House. It's you I want."

"I don't believe that anymore," he murmured, looking away.

Cuddy was so upset that she didn't know what to say or do now. She felt like she was staring at her future, a future she was desperate for, in the minute before it slipped away and out of her grasp forever. "What do you want me to do? How can I prove to you that there is no future for House and I?" When he looked at her like he had already told her, she shook her head. "Besides that. You want me to fire him? You want me to quit my job and find another one? You want me to tell him to stay away and get out of my life? What do you want Lucas? Because I'll do it. I'll do it if it will keep you from walking away from what we have."

"I'm not saying you don't love me, Lisa," he said softly, a hand on her arm. "I know you do. But I think you also love House. And you need to test out those feelings and find how deep they go. I'm sorry. I know you don't like it but that's the way it is. And if you can't see the truth in what I'm saying there's nothing I can do to help you. It's over between us. At least for now," he finished, releasing her as he walked past her to the door.

Cuddy understood that she'd been dismissed, but she just couldn't grasp what was happening and how he could be serious. However, the words wouldn't come. She didn't know how to argue with him. She was a wreck and he was handling this calmly and rationally. Almost mechanically she reached in her purse, removed his apartment key from her key ring and placed it in his palm, hoping he'd stop her. Hoping he'd tell her not to do it. But he took it from her, glancing at it briefly before nodding. She stared at him as if she didn't know who he was. And then Cuddy turned and walked out, the tears only spilling down her cheeks once again when the door shut behind her. She made her way to her car in stunned disbelief and when she reached it, five minutes passed before she was able to shakily turn the key in the ignition.

Still she sat there, her feelings expanding and morphing until she didn't know what she felt anymore. She kept thinking of what Lucas had said and how ridiculous his request had been. But he had been so serious, that she wasn't sure he would change his mind. She drove home slowly, trying to contemplate how she'd convince him that he was the man for her and she the woman for him, after the mistake she'd just made. All she knew was that she wouldn't make things worse. From here on out, House would not be a part of her life. At least not outside the workplace. She looked at her hands on the steering wheel as she parked in her driveway fifteen minutes later. Cuddy had forgotten to give him the ring back and he hadn't asked. She hoped that was a sign that she could still get him to change his mind.

* * *

House stayed home all day, the phone off the hook having briefly called his team to find that the last battery of tests had been conclusive and his patient would recover once a few rounds of treatment ran through his body. He had thought about drinking his way through a couple bottles of Jack Daniels, but he didn't keep alcohol in the apartment due to his history with addictions. He had seriously committed himself to not drinking in order to become a better man and earn Cuddy's heart. He had figured that the day would come when he'd tell her that and she'd see it for what it was, an offering made out a desire to deserve her, and okay, a bit of fear for himself if he didn't give it up. House laughed bitterly at the very idea of telling Cuddy anything now. He had been such a complete sucker in swallowing wholeheartedly all that crap from Nolan about happiness being attainable.

He didn't have the energy to leave the apartment and make a run to the liquor store. And even as he thought about it again something inside of him hardened, unwilling to give Cuddy the satisfaction of breaking him. He was so angry. But the more he dwelt on it, the more uncertain he was about who he was angrier with, Cuddy or himself.

He should have seen this coming. The way they came together in the beginning last night, angrily kissing and biting one another, drawing out as much pain as pleasure, well, he should have known she was only after a one night stand. As the minutes passed and things grew heated, he'd recognized her impatience, even shared it to an extent, but he realized now that if she had been allowed her way they never would have made it to his bedroom. And not because she was anxious to be with him. Oh, she had been a willing participate, but for her, it was just sex. For him it was something else entirely.

Afterwards, as they lay in bed, he had felt her tension. But then he had drawn her closer and after a moment she gave in, her breath soft on his chest. As he drifted off to sleep, he had assumed everything was alright. Everything must not have been. Obviously when Lucas called there was no longer any question of that. House had known shortly after she tore the phone out of his hand that she would do anything in her power to try and undo the damage of being caught with him in order to win Lucas and her chosen happily ever after back. Her anger afterwards only heightened that foregone conclusion.

He sighed then, suddenly overwhelmed by melancholy. House pushed himself up from the couch and limped reluctantly down the hall to the bedroom. He had found the sheet she had left his room in puddled on the floor in the hallway and had thrown it onto the bed earlier. He hadn't bothered to re-enter his bedroom since. Now House reached his room and paused in the doorway after flipping the lights on, sadly looking over and taking in the scene of his cheerless reality check. Finally he made his way to the bed and stripped it of the sheets, still able to smell her perfume and the scent of her hair in them. The smell of her on his sheets broke the fine control he'd been showing. He held him breath, unaware he was even doing it, and his hands fisted in the sheets, then yanked apart, tearing the fabric. He shredded it down until all that was left of his bedclothes was thin strips. Removing the pillowcases, he shoved the strips inside before limping down the hallway, chucking them into a black garbage bag and then finally releasing his pent up breath before opening the front door to chuck the bag out into the hallway, slamming the door afterwards.

Then somehow he found himself sitting against the inside of his apartment door and his rage melded into angry, heaving sobs that he didn't understand but couldn't control. When the storm passed all that remained was pain like he hadn't felt since Stacy's betrayal.

Before he could stop himself he picked himself off the floor and went back to his bedroom, opening his closet doors to glance up to the top of his closet, running his eyes over the lined up boxes until he found the one he wanted. Shelving his pride in its place he removed it from the closet, tucking it under his arm before he sat down on his bed, hesitating a moment rather than opening it. He needed a drink, he decided. If he was suddenly going to indulge in ridiculous sentimentality, a drink was a definite prerequisite. He carted the box down the hallway with him, ambling back to the kitchen. Then he opened up the cabinet over his sink, pulling out a bottle of non-alcoholic wine and a wine glass. Nolan had given it to him the time they had gotten together immediately after House had complained about having to give up alcohol. It had been a joke, though a lame one at that and so yeah, non-alcoholic wine was pathetically stupid, but at the moment, stupid was how he felt. Stupid he would have to live with. It was what he had. And at least he could have the illusion of drunkenness.

He headed for his piano next, something in him longing for the comfort it always gave him, finally lifting the box's lid and removing a stack of photos from med school. He slowly flipped through them, looking for the ones he wanted and then setting them aside. He didn't know what had possessed him to hold onto this box as long as he had. It was such a girly thing to do. But then, he supposed all along he did it thinking one day she'd appreciate this gesture of schmaltziness.

Once he'd gone through the stack House used a palm to spread the small pile of photos he'd kept all these years across the surface of the piano, spaced so that he could see each one completely. There were probably about fifty of them in total and while it sounded like an insignificant number, it contained every photo he'd ever gotten his hands on from their short time together. He slowly trailed his gaze across them and then reached back into the box to pull out the faded pile of yellowed letters, tied with sutures. To anyone other than a doctor maybe the material would look like threading, but House had liked the symbolism of using the thread-like sutures made from sheep intestine, more than the traditional red ribbon around a stack of love letters. Even now it broke through his funk to humor him slightly.

Some of the letters were notes she had written to him back in med school, but most of them were those he'd written to her yet never had the courage to deliver. Or perhaps he had just been more realistic about what lay in store for them. Cuddy had still been somewhat idealistic while he on the other hand was already wholly jaded by that time. Despite actually having written them, House hadn't had to think twice about not giving them to her, already certain that their love would die, mainly because he knew he'd kill it himself. He was a screw-up. He had wanted to protect it. He had wanted to make it work. He just hadn't known how. And so he'd walked away from the relationship without ever confessing just how in love he was with her.

House left the letters tied together and situated them on the bench next to him. Then he took a swallow of wine and grabbed out his yearbook from that year of something resembling perfection; the only yearbook he had bothered to purchase in all his years of schooling. He had bought it because of a photo within, one he'd submitted to the yearbook staff himself, knowing they'd use it because of what it contained though his reason for submitting it was actually based on what lay hidden in the background unless you knew what you were looking for: two people lying in the grass under a tree, though only a magnifying glass would be of any use in figuring out who the two were or what they were doing. So the picture was important but he had really held onto the yearbook long afterwards because out of all the people at school, she was the only one he'd allowed to sign it, filling two whole pages with her scrawl, her spirit, and some of the most sacred expressions of sentiment that she'd ever bestowed upon him. Once upon a time, he realized, Lisa Cuddy had been the original Lydia, a balm to something inside of him he had never known another soul could touch.

And just like that he was hit with a wave of emotion, surrounded by nostalgia, memories, photographs, and reminders, of all he'd longed for in med school but then recognized as impossible foolishness, and all he'd desired after leaving Mayfield, when the beginning stirrings of hope had swelled within his chest thinking he might finally deserve her. Yet once again reality was there to bite him where it hurt. And Lisa Cuddy was not meant to be his. Apparently he had been right all along. House sighed and his fingers began playing as he sang along, wondering if he'd ever get over her completely.

-----

"_**Alone in this house again tonight  
I got the TV on, the sound turned down and a bottle of wine  
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me  
The way that it was and could have been surrounds me  
I'll never get over you walkin' away**_

_**And I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry**_

_**Would it help if I turned a sad song on?  
'All By Myself' would sure hit me hard now that you're gone  
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters  
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better  
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way**_

_**'Cause I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain  
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry**_

_**Well I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show  
And I thought that bein' strong meant never losin' your self-control  
But I'm just drunk enough to let go of my pain  
To hell with this pride, let it fall like rain  
From my eyes  
Tonight I wanna cry"**_

* * *

Song: "Tonight I Wanna Cry" (Keith Urban)


	16. Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I'm SO grateful for your reviews, everyone!! I know. Cuddy is having a breakdown. Sigh. How she got herself in this fix is beyond me. :) Lucas is nice, but he's not House. Wanting a perfect relationship with a perfect guy has sort of screwed up things. I did tell you this was a VERY long, angsty story, right?! Though with a happy ending...eventually. Still, poor House...)_

* * *

January 2010

It was Monday the 4th when House next walked in through the doors of the hospital. Cuddy was at the front desk but he barely cast a glance at her before he made his way to the elevator, ignoring her existence because he didn't know how to acknowledge it without revealing the cracks she'd put in his façade. It wouldn't have mattered though as she spotted him at precisely the same moment and instantly turned away, heading for her office and burying herself in her work.

* * *

Cuddy had managed to talk her mother into going home as she had planned to on the 2nd. It had taken some doing but eventually her mom had agreed, asking her to call her in a few days and let her know how things were going. Cuddy obviously hadn't told her mom anything about what had taken place with House but she had begrudgingly told her that it did look like the wedding was on hold for the moment, as Lucas wasn't ready to continue moving in that direction.

The minute Cuddy's mom's car pulled out of the driveway, she sank to her knees at the door, just sobbing. Rachel was down for a nap so she didn't have to worry about her and instead she allowed all her grief and bitterness to wash over her until she ran dry. Afterwards Cuddy had gone to her room and showered, trying to pull it together. But the only thing she could think about all weekend long was how much she needed Lucas in her life and how desperate she was to have him back.

Now here she sat at her desk on Monday morning, still as devastated as she'd been when Lucas had taken her key from her. She reached for her phone for the one hundredth time, dialing his number. But he didn't answer and so she briefly left a message, asking him to return her call. Then she attempted to focus on doing her job, the phone near her fingertips in case he did.

* * *

"I called you on New Year's Eve to see if you wanted to hang out. Where were you?" Wilson asked, stepping through the door of House's office.

"Home, but the phone might have been off the hook," he answered casually, not looking up from the paperwork he was working on to fill the time until his next case plopped itself on his desk.

"Everything alright, House?" Wilson asked, frowning as he studied his friend.

He looked up then, meeting Wilson's gaze. "Yep."

Wilson wasn't so sure he believed him but he didn't want to annoy House either if it really was nothing. He shrugged. "Want to go out for lunch today? I'll meet you in the lobby at noon."

House nodded. "Quit your worrying, Wilson. I'm fine," he said, doing his best to mask how he was really feeling. The last thing he wanted was Wilson digging for information. Or trying to help him out with Cuddy. "I'll meet you in the lobby."

"Sounds good," Wilson simply replied, turning to the door to head back to his own office. House watched him go, lifting his ball from off his desk and juggling it from one hand to the other as he thought about how he'd manage to keep it together here at work when inwardly he just wanted to quit and get as far away from PPTH as possible.

* * *

Cameron watched Cuddy suspiciously from across the clinic where she was filling out a patient's file after completing her clinic hours. Cuddy was sitting at her desk and if she didn't know better, looking for all the world like she was about to break down. Concerned, Cameron sighed and set the file on the counter, moving in the direction of Cuddy's office. A moment later she knocked on the door before entering and approaching her at her desk.

Cuddy looked up at her in surprise but then opened a file in front of her and signed off on it.

"Are you doing okay?" Cameron asked hesitantly.

"Yes," she quickly said. "Why do you ask?"

Cameron quirked an eyebrow but studied Cuddy who wasn't meeting her eyes. "You just signed that file without even perusing it," she settled on saying.

Cuddy glanced up at her and then scanned the file in her hands, realizing she had. "I've just got a lot on my mind today. A lot to get done."

Cameron nodded but wasn't really buying that busyness was all this was. The circles under Cuddy's eyes made her think there was much more to this. "How was your weekend?" she asked nonchalantly. "Rachel doing well?"

Cuddy set the file down and leaned back in her chair, looking at her as if questioning her motivation in asking. "It was fine, Dr. Cameron. And Rachel's fine as well. Don't you have work to do?"

Well, there was nothing subtle about that response, Cameron thought to herself. "Yes, I suppose I do," she finally acknowledged, knowing better than to press Cuddy further.

"Good, then I won't keep you from getting back to it," she replied, looking pointedly from Cameron to the door.

Cameron turned and slipped out without further comment, glancing back as she closed the door behind her. Cuddy was no longer looking at her, her head lowered slightly towards her desk, her eyes pressed closed. Something was going on, she thought to herself. Cameron wondered what it was.

* * *

Wilson was sitting in his office after getting a bite to eat with House at one of their favorite sandwich shops nearby, talking with a patient. There was a knock at the door and he excused himself before getting to his feet and answering it.

Cameron stood there waiting and glanced over his shoulder, noting that he was with someone.

"Can I help you, Dr. Cameron?" he inquired.

"Oh, sorry to interrupt you when you're in with a patient but I was wondering if you could come see me in the ER for a consult once you're available," she replied, looking apologetically at his patient.

He stared at her, puzzled. "You need a consult on a patient?" he asked in surprise as that didn't happen all that often.

She looked at him pointedly. "It shouldn't take too long."

He looked at her, still confused. "Okay," he agreed. "I'll be down in a half hour or so."

"Thanks Dr. Wilson," she replied, turning to walk away.

Wilson closed the door after her, wondering why she hadn't just paged him as she normally would. He shook his head and turned around, going back around the desk to sit in his chair and finish with his patient.

* * *

Wilson walked into the ER forty five minutes later and glanced around, looking for Cameron. He spotted her with a burn victim and waited at the desk for her to finish. When she was done changing bandages she looked up and saw him there, told the patient she'd be back to check on him, and then motioned for Wilson to follow her into the supply closet.

He looked at her as if she was crazy but reluctantly followed after her. The minute he had stepped in past her she pulled the door shut and turned to look at him. "What's going on with Cuddy?" she asked then.

"I take it there is no patient," he replied, an eyebrow lifted quizzically.

"No. Now what's going on with Cuddy?" she repeated.

"How in the world would I know?" he asked. "I haven't even seen her today."

Cameron sighed and crossed her arms. "Have you seen House?" she inquired.

Wilson hesitated, not knowing where she was going with this. "Yes," he finally admitted. "We just came back from having lunch together a couple hours ago."

"And he's fine?" she asked doubtfully, positive that if Cuddy was having a bad day, House either knew about it or was involved in it, and therefore by extension, Wilson should know all the details.

Wilson looked at her bemused, but said, "I don't know. He was a little off but not to the point of it being obvious. Why? What's going on?"

"Something's just not right. I thought maybe it was me but when I asked her, I got the feeling that something happened that she doesn't want to talk about. It's not like we're good friends or anything, but usually Cuddy isn't quite so direct in asking me to leave, not like she is with House anyway. And then I overheard one of the nurses say that she's acting strange and another thought she saw Cuddy crying, though she couldn't be sure. I just thought maybe you'd know," she concluded, her eyes probing him to see if he knew something and just wasn't telling her.

Wilson shook his head, knowing she was gauging his reaction. "I don't know anything," he responded. "But you are right in thinking House probably does. I'll do some digging and see what I can find out."

Cameron nodded and reached for the door then, pushing it open so they could exit. A couple nurses looked at them curiously but no one said anything, Wilson heading down the hallway and Cameron retrieving a file to check on another patient.

* * *

Wilson headed for the elevator but then detoured when he saw Cuddy in the clinic. He thought twice about approaching her as Cameron had but in the end he caved. Coming up alongside her he said, "Hey Cuddy."

She looked up at him and waited for him to continue, instantly suspicious.

"Oh uh, I have some patient files I need your signature on, when you have a moment," he mumbled, realizing he should have thought this through more if he was aiming for subtlety.

She raised an eyebrow and asked, "Sure. Where are they?"

"Oh, um, I have them up in my office. I'll go get them and be right back if you have time now," Wilson managed, attempting to cover for that kink in his cover story.

"I'll be in my office," she said slowly, not so convinced that all he wanted was to have her sign paperwork.

"Be back in a few," he said, turning around and heading for the elevator at a quick pace.

Cuddy watched him go, worried about what House might have told him. She closed her eyes, pressing a hand to her throbbing head. She probably didn't have long to find out.

* * *

House stepped into Wilson's office via the balcony door, needing to bounce ideas off someone regarding his current patient. He watched him as he scrambled to throw together a pile of files. "What's got your panties in a twist?" he asked, staring at him.

Wilson jumped before turning to shoot him a dirty look. "Don't scare me like that!"

He chuckled, "Jimmy, you're such a girl!"

Wilson rolled his eyes but then grabbed his stack of files and headed for the door.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry?" he demanded to know. "I need you."

Wilson paused in the doorway, turning back to look at House suspiciously. "Yeah? You want to tell me what's going on with Cuddy?"

House instantly sobered and looked away. "I don't know what you're talking about," he said stoically.

Wilson pursed his lips, reading House easily. "You know exactly what I'm talking about," he replied. "You want to fill me in?"

House met his gaze and watched him for a moment. "Nope," he finally stated, pulling the balcony door open. "I've got a case to solve."

Wilson watched him turn and leave, knowing that whatever House knew he wasn't about to share. Wilson wondered if it would be any easier to get out of Cuddy.

* * *

Cuddy looked up when Wilson entered her office ten minutes later with a stack of files. She reached out and took them from him, signing off on each while he took a seat across from her. She felt his eyes on her but ignored him.

Her cell phone rang right then and she dropped the file, pages going everywhere as she frantically grabbed her phone and answered it. "Hello?" she breathlessly began, turning away from Wilson in the process.

He watched her in clear bewilderment. Whoever was calling was not who Cuddy was hoping to speak to for her shoulders dropped a moment later and her voice grew more subdued. Wilson got to his feet and began to pick up the fallen papers, rearranging them so that they were back in order. When she hung up a moment later, he set the paperwork back in front of her but leaned on the desk, waiting for her to turn back around.

"What was that all about?" he asked when she was facing him once more.

"Just a donor calling," she replied, brushing his question aside.

"Who did you want it to be?" Wilson asked next, eyeing her skeptically.

She met his gaze but her eyes turned icy. "None of your business, Wilson."

He frowned and straightened, taken aback at her tone. Rather than commenting though he just stood there and watched her.

Cuddy looked away and then reached for her pen, continuing to sign off on his files without further comment. When she was done she grabbed them and held them out for him to take, which he did, albeit reluctantly.

Wilson tried to think of what to say but before he could open his mouth Cuddy looked up at him, her expression severe and with an edge to her words asked, "Are we done here?"

He turned away, not having anything to say to that, opening the door and walking out without another word.

Cuddy watched him go, her lips set firmly together. She didn't think he knew anything which surprised her in a way, as when did House EVER keep his big mouth shut? But just as quickly she realized she had to do a better job of hiding her problems or it wouldn't take long for the whole hospital to be gossiping about just what they thought might be going on with the dean. She reached for her phone, calling Lucas again and leaving another voicemail. Again. The best way to keep people clueless was to do all in her power to solve her problem and get her life back on track.

* * *

Wilson ran into Cameron in the elevator when she was on her way up to find Chase and let him know she was heading home for the day.

When everyone else got off at the next stop, the stop Cameron herself normally got off at to drop in on Chase, Wilson reached out and grabbed her arm, holding her back. The elevator doors closed a moment later and she turned to him, her expression one of curiosity. "What did you find out?" she asked, knowing the elevator would stop in another minute and someone might get on, thereby terminating their conversation.

"You're right. Something's up. And House knows. But neither one is saying a word," he finished, right as the elevator doors opened again and two nurses got on.

"Guess we'll just have to keep an eye out," she murmured as quietly as she could.

Wilson nodded almost imperceptibly. When the elevator doors opened next, he slipped out and Cameron watched him go, hitting the button for the second floor a moment later. She wondered what Wilson had seen or heard but she figured eventually it would all come together and she'd understand what was going on.

* * *

One Week Later

Cuddy spent every free moment at the hospital checking and double-checking her voicemail, e-mail, and phone for missed calls as if her life depended on it. She had left Lucas several messages both on his cell and at home, but he wasn't replying and when she next went to his apartment building, he hadn't answered the door. She sat on the curb out front in the midst of heaps of snow, just sobbing. He had to come back to her. He just had to.

She rarely ran into House in that first week. They both seemed intent on avoiding the other. House apparently was managing to solve his current case without any tests requiring her signature. Or he was forging it, she thought then. Somehow that didn't bother her. If it kept him out of her hair, it worked for her. She didn't want anything to do with him.

Maybe it was somewhat unreasonable but in her mind it was crystal clear that this was all somehow his fault. She'd been weakened by what was going on with Lucas when she went to him. House should have just shut the door on her. He should have never come to the door at all. Then she thought, if only he hadn't invited her in. If only she had left. Or if it had to happen, if only he hadn't answered her phone afterwards. If only. That was all she could think about. It all came down to House and his inane behavior. And once again she was the one left holding the bag, her life in ruins, the marriage that never was hanging just out of her reach.

* * *

House sat at home on his couch, trying to figure his life out. He had solved his latest case earlier in the day, but the usual thrill he'd experience in that moment was missing and he knew why; he just didn't know what to do about it. So he sat there staring at the blank TV screen, trying to piece together what he was going to do with his life.

He thought a lot about Cuddy. More than he wanted to acknowledge even to himself. He saw her from time to time but they continued to avoid each other. And while that meant she couldn't hurt him any more than she had, it really didn't seem to be helping him much.

House was pretty sure that Lucas was out of the picture still. If he was back with Cuddy she'd probably continue to avoid him, but she would be in a better mood than she was actually in at the present. Even if he didn't run into her, he wasn't oblivious to her, nor did he miss the fact that people were beginning to talk about her strange behavior of late.

It was interesting to him that no one had found out that things with Lucas were over, but then, he didn't know if anyone had the guts to ask her how Lucas was when it was clear that Cuddy was not her normal self. She still wore her engagement ring though and that might explain why people were overlooking reality. Cameron and Wilson were obviously aware that something was going on. And both of them were now keeping an eye on him whenever Cuddy was in any sort of proximity to where he was. It made life interesting anyway, trying to pretend like nothing was amiss when he knew that even his team was curious as to why, when they had finally needed Cuddy's permission for a procedure, he sent them to her rather than taking the opportunity to go to her himself. But that was easy enough to brush off, as he often sent them when he didn't want to do the dirty work. He just knew it couldn't continue indefinitely. The next time he had a patient who was in a more critical state than the last patient he'd had, House knew he'd have to seek her out. The question was: did he want to do anything more than get her signature? Did he want to try to smooth things over and see if he couldn't take one more risk in hopes that she would see all that he had to offer her? All that he wanted to offer her? And so he stared at the television screen, trying to determine what the risk would cost him and what the odds were that he'd get anywhere with her by trying. Especially when she still wore her ring as if her "impending" marriage was still on.

* * *

Mid-January, 2010

House hesitated outside Cuddy's door not so sure that he wanted to go in there. After a moment he reached for the doorknob and didn't even have to turn it as the door began to open, having been left ajar. She was in her chair facing away from him and of yet remained clueless to his presence. House opened his mouth to catch her attention but then she started speaking and he stood there, thinking she was talking to him. It didn't take him long to realize she wasn't.

"Come on, Lucas," she pleaded, obviously on her cell phone. "Please pick up! Please talk to me! I really need to see you and have a chance to explain everything. Lucas, I want to marry you next month. I don't want the wedding to be off. What happened…was a big lapse of judgment on my part. But I swear to you, it'll never happen again. House will never mean anything to me. Whatever I felt is over. It's done. Please Lucas… Please call me…"

House took a couple steps back, silently slipping out from her office, thankful that he wasn't using his cane as often anymore for it would have given him away. He slowly turned and then glanced down at the floor before walking away, knowing he had got his answer without ever having to ask. Heading back upstairs, he threw the file down in front of Taub and told him to get Cuddy's permission as he had a phone call to make. Then he slipped out onto the balcony and stood there with his phone pressed to his ear for show, wishing for all the world that he could just walk away and be done with it all.

-----_**  
"Sorry seems to be the hardest word**_

_**What I got to do to make you love me?  
What I got to do to make you care?  
What do I do when lightning strikes me?  
And I wake to find that you're not there?**_

_**What I got to do to make you want me?  
What I got to do to be heard?  
What do I say when it's all over, babe?  
Sorry seems to be the hardest word**_

_**It's sad, so sad  
It's a sad, sad situation  
And it's getting more and more absurd  
It's sad, so sad  
Why can't we talk it over?  
Oh it seems to me  
Sorry seems to be the hardest word**_

_**What I do to make you want me?  
What I got to do to be heard?  
What do I say when it's all over?  
Sorry seems to be the hardest word**_

_**It's sad, so sad  
It's a sad, sad situation  
And it's gotten more and more absurd  
It's sad, so sad  
Why can't we talk it over?  
Oh it seems to me  
Sorry seems to be the hardest word**_

_**Yah.....sorry  
Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah  
Sorry**_

_**What do I do to make you love me?  
What I got to do to be heard?  
What do I do when lightning strikes me?  
Yeah.....What have I got to do?  
What have I got to do?  
When sorry seems to be the hardest word"**_

* * *

Song: "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word" (Blue feat. Elton John)


	17. Turpentine

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

(I AM LOVING YOUR COMMENTS AND THOUGHTS, EVERYONE!! Thank you so much for your interest and faithfulness in following this story! Yeah, Cuddy's spiraling out of control and House is along for the ride. Unfortunately for him (okay, her too), the ride is far from over! Sigh. More angst. As is true of life, actions have consequences. And there are costs here for both Cuddy and House. Poor House. Hasn't he gone through more in his life than one person can bear?! Anyway, hope you like this chapter and don't mind the path this story is taking.)

(SPOILER FOR TONIGHT'S EPISODE - Don't hate me!! But I have to talk to someone! :) I was a little leery of this ep more than anything because I'm not used to an episode focusing so much on anyone other than House. But I enjoyed it! It was definitely INTERESTING! (Though I still don't know about Cuddy's ep in February. Sigh. A shower scene with Lucas...ugh! That breaks my poor Huddy heart.) You know, I imagine we all are aware of how everything can revolve around House and he's prone to taking advantage of Wilson and being self-centered in how things Wilson does might affect him. Tonight's ep gave further illustrations to that effect. But what was interesting to me was how Cuddy does the SAME thing to Wilson! I mean, I know in Season 5 when Kutner died she went to Wilson because he wasn't being supportive in any way to House and Wilson very pointedly told her she could care less about how Wilson himself was doing, House being her main concern. But in this ep I thought it poignant how she sought Wilson out, basically wanting his approval on her decision to be with Lucas (which Wilson pointed out), even using Wilson's ex-wife as a real-estate agent, when there is no shortage of agents out there she could go to. Ay yi yi! And I LOVED that Wilson walked away without giving her his blessing. Then, he's all concerned about his patients and Cuddy can't shut up about the loft! :) That was funny to me! He goes to her office, needing someone (because it won't be House) to hear him out and support him, and she hangs the phone up, immediately launching into her life and her issues! Man! Isn't it funny to see she and House have this self-centeredness in common?! And okay, I know it's petty and juvenile and...very passive aggressive (come on, we are all guilty of it from time to time, though we should be above that, I know) but I LOVED how Wilson sabotaged her in her attempts to get the loft she had her eye on, just because he was mad at her (and he has a right to be mad, though more because she's using him to meet her needs than because she hurt House - though I appreciate his loyalty MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY). And I love how Wilson's ex-wives all seem quite fond of him and willing to help him out whenever possible, despite being, well...ex-wives. :) Thanks for being patient with my craziness!)

* * *

Late February, 2010

House stuck his head in Wilson's office and upon seeing he did not have a patient, stepped in, closing the door behind him. Wilson glanced up briefly but then returned to the file he was busily writing notes down on. House stood there fiddling with something on Wilson's desk while he waited for him to finish.

"You know," Wilson began, still writing, "It's really hard to get used to this. You've been back from Mayfield almost seven months now and some days it's like I don't even know you. Don't get me wrong. You have your House moments. But where is that guy who used to throw my door open, interrupt everything I was working on, and toss my patients out on their ears so that he could have me focus on his problems instead? This past month especially you've been exceptionally well-behaved." Wilson was all too aware that something was going on between House and Cuddy, for both of them still avoided each other like the plague. But he'd had no success getting anything out of House since the beginning of January and he'd finally given up at the end of last month, thinking House would tell him when the time came. Obviously House had given up on his plan to win Cuddy back. But what Wilson didn't know was why. He was tempted to mention it now but held out, not wanting to force the issue.

"I still don't knock though," House reminded him.

Wilson raised his eyes to House and gave him a critical stare. "If you did, I'd have a heart attack. This is disconcerting enough as it is."

"Aw, you miss me Jimmy?" House teased.

"I don't know why, but I do," Wilson admitted.

"Good. Then you'll be only too happy to buy me dinner tonight," House replied after a moment, sinking into the couch at last.

"You want to go out tonight? Maybe go bowling?" Wilson asked then. He knew before he finished that he'd walked right into that one.

"Jimmy, are you asking me out on a date? You know I don't swing that way," House quipped.

He rolled his eyes. "You know what I meant."

House sobered. He was sitting on the couch with his legs slightly apart, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. Looking down he finally said, "Let's leave the bowling for another night. How about you just bring dinner over to my place?"

"Is something going on?" Wilson asked, slightly concerned now but mainly wondering if the time had come when House would reveal to him whatever was going on between he and Cuddy, or at least the reason why Cuddy's behavior had been so odd lately. Maybe he and Cameron were wrong though. He thought Cuddy's wedding was supposed to be sometime soon, but he'd never heard the exact date announced. Perhaps she was just acting strange because she was preoccupied with wedding plans. However, if the date was close why hadn't he seen an invitation? Wasn't she inviting anyone from the hospital? Or was he wrong about when her wedding was supposed to take place? Was he not invited? Based on her behavior lately, he supposed that was also possible.

House looked briefly up at Wilson but then away. He nodded. "I really need to talk to you."

"Talk now," Wilson replied apprehensively, his thoughts centering back on House. "I don't have a patient for another hour."

"No. Not here," he negated, shaking his head slightly. "I have clinic hours to do anyway."

"That's another thing. What is it with you suddenly doing your clinic hours again without anyone forcing you to?" Wilson asked, his eyes narrowing. "You stopped doing your hours without being forced to the minute your license was reinstated. Why are you back to doing them without a fight?"

He shrugged. "You know the board only agreed to take me back on if I'd learn to behave myself. Hence, I don't have a choice. I can't lose this job, Wilson. It's all I got. If I want to keep it, I do what I have to do. That includes my clinic hours."

"House, what I mean is that you've changed. It's strange. Your M.O is different. If I'm calculating correctly this is as recent as last month. Before Christmas you'd do your clinic hours but you'd still make Cuddy come find you and yell at you first. Frankly, it was reassuring considering all that happened between you two. Now you do them without anyone saying anything to you. Something's up. What's going on with you and Cuddy?" Wilson asked pointedly, finally bringing the subject around once more.

House fell silent. "What time can you be at my place?" he inquired at length.

Wilson shook his head in puzzlement but sighed and said, "I'll be there at seven."

"Good," House replied before getting to his feet. "I'll be in the clinic if you need me." Without another word he walked out the door. Wilson watched him go and then stared at the door after House was gone, troubled. Something WAS going on between House and Cuddy. He and Cameron weren't wrong on that account. He sighed, seriously hoping this was not going to be as bad as he had a feeling it would be. He wondered if he should say anything to Cameron but then he really didn't know anything new just yet. He shook his head and set aside the file, deciding he needed to take a coffee break before getting back to work. His concentration had been broken and while Wilson planned to pick back up where he'd left off when House had come in, he thought five minutes away from his office would be wise.

* * *

House stood alone in an exam room after the patient had slipped out, lost in thought. He knew what he had to say to Wilson would sound ridiculous but he also knew that he was right. There was not a doubt in his mind. He just wished he knew how to deal with this. And maybe that was why he was about to tell Wilson everything. House finally had reached a point where he was out of answers. Avoidance was easy enough. But now he knew it would no longer suffice. No, there was nothing else for it. Wilson would have to know. House needed him to. He wasn't sure of what would happen in the days ahead but his life had reached a crossroads and he needed someone there for him if it all fell out from under him.

* * *

Cuddy felt run down. She refused to look at the calendar, knowing that this weekend was when her dream wedding was supposed to take place. She twisted the ring on her finger, still unable to take it off. Her mother had called her the night before but while she'd done her best to get her to open up, Cuddy had just told her that nothing had changed where Lucas was concerned and then redirected the conversation for a few minutes to talk about Rachel before coming up with an excuse to get off the phone. Her mother had asked if she should come for the weekend but Cuddy had turned her down, wanting nothing more than to be alone for what would surely be one of the most painful weekends of her life.

It wasn't that she still didn't hope that Lucas would turn up one day, walking into her office and asking if they couldn't just move forward once again. What troubled her most was that she'd swung by his apartment at the beginning of the month only to find out from the apartment manager that he'd moved as his lease had come to an end. She had been aware of that fact but somehow it had slipped her mind. Originally he had intended to just move in with her once and for all. Now she wondered where he was and what he was doing and if he even thought of her at all. She'd tried to call his cell phone the week before but a message came on saying it had been disconnected. Cuddy had crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep, devastated that the only thing remaining to her had been taken away.

That wasn't quite true as she still had his e-mail address, but as he never responded to that she wasn't sure he even used it anymore. She didn't want to give up but realistically she didn't have many choices remaining to her. Unless she hired a private investigator, but somehow she thought at this point she had to just wait Lucas out. Still, if he didn't come around soon she wasn't sure she wouldn't take that step. Cuddy was absolutely at her wit's end. She didn't think her life could get any worse. The only bright spots in her life were Rachel and her career. So she committed herself to both, doing what needed to be done with excellence when she could manage it.

* * *

House heard the knock at his door at 7 p.m. sharp and made his way to it, rubbing a hand over his face as a part of him didn't want to get the door because of what lay ahead.

Wilson came in with a bag of Chinese takeout and set it down on the kitchen counter before going to House's cabinets to dig out some plates. House watched him from the doorway and then went in the kitchen to open the fridge and pull out a couple cans of Coke, carrying them into the living room ahead of Wilson.

They both sat down on the couch and House dug in, not hungry but not wanting to talk yet either. Wilson seemed to understand that and followed his example, eating in silence beside him. When they were finished House set his plate down on the coffee table and reached for the remote, but Wilson took it away from him before he could turn the TV on. "Talk," he told him, his face somber.

House sighed and ran a hand through his hair, causing it to stand up at odd angles. Finally he met Wilson's eyes and formulated the words he wanted to start with. "Lucas ended things with Cuddy," he said after a moment, his lips pursing as he waited for Wilson to take that in.

"What? When?" he replied in bafflement as he leaned forward on the chair next to House, staring at him.

"Christmas Eve," House answered without emotion.

Wilson shook his head in confusion. "But she still wears her engagement ring," he managed.

House nodded before looking away. "I know that," he said somberly.

"House, are you sure?" Wilson asked doubtfully, not understanding how that could be possible, even if Cuddy was acting strange lately.

He nodded again. "I was there. I went over to her house with a Christmas present for Rachel and things kind of…got messy. Lucas called the wedding off and walked out. Cuddy ran after him but it was too late. She's still hoping he'll change his mind, but based on her behavior and some things I have heard, he hasn't changed his mind yet. I don't know that he's going to."

Wilson exhaled, his eyes darting around the apartment randomly as he considered what House had just told him and Cuddy's behavior from the past month. He supposed it would explain…something, but he still wasn't quite sure how that could be possible. "Why hasn't she told anyone?" he asked, in a quandary as to how to accept it as truth when Cuddy hadn't informed anyone herself.

House shook his head and finally shrugged. "She doesn't want to tell anyone. She wants him back. She doesn't want to accept that it's over. So she's not."

"That doesn't sound like Cuddy though," Wilson replied, before he looked at House and realized he was not paying enough attention to how he was handling all this. "If things are over between Lucas and Cuddy, that's good, right? I mean, that's what you wanted."

House's mouth formed a tight line and he got to his feet then, walking towards the hallway but stopping just within the door. "That's what I wanted, yes. But it doesn't matter because Cuddy wants nothing to do with me and blames it all on me."

Wilson looked at his buddy, his eyes wide open and asked, "Is it your fault?"

House turned back to shoot a look at him clearly displeased by Wilson's question but he held a hand up and said, "Hey, it's just a question."

"I don't want to talk about it," House stated firmly.

"Okay," Wilson dragged out. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Cuddy's pregnant," he announced, causing Wilson to fall back on the couch.

"Cuddy's pregnant and Lucas left her?" he asked in disbelief, finding it inconceivable that he'd just walk away from her at that point.

"Lucas doesn't know. Cuddy doesn't even know," House said wryly, pacing the length of the room.

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Then how do YOU know?" he asked, obviously questioning House's judgment on this one.

"Just because we don't interact at the hospital doesn't mean I don't see her. She's tired. All the time. She gets headaches. She's nauseous, though I'll grant you, not to the point of vomiting. The other day I saw her exit the hospital and pass by someone who was smoking. She practically turned green. Her diet has changed…" House listed off.

Wilson interrupted, "House, if she's as upset over Lucas breaking up with her as it would seem she is she's probably not sleeping well. Headaches? Well, headaches aren't foreign to people while under stress. Her diet could also be attributed to not having an appetite, due AGAIN to stress. And nausea…"

He shook his head adamantly. "She's losing weight. But her boobs are firmer than ever," House continued.

Wilson rubbed his hands over his face, not surprised that House would notice that of all things. He shot him a dubious look before saying, "House, don't you think you're over-thinking this just a little?"

"I thought maybe I was, at the beginning of the month," he admitted. "But then she didn't have her period like she should have."

Wilson got to his feet, laughing. "Okay, I know you know her body better than anyone. Somehow I don't question that. Even down to knowing her menstrual cycle I can believe. But you credit pregnancy as the reason why she missed a period? Come on. That too can be attributed to stress."

"You aren't taking me seriously, Wilson," House said then, shaking his head. Irritated, he walked into the kitchen and poured a glass of water, drinking it by the sink as he stared out the window and into the night.

Wilson sighed and got to his feet, following House in the direction he had gone. "Why does it matter if she's pregnant?" he asked once he could see House again. He really didn't think House was right about this one, but he figured he might as well know where his friend was coming from.

"Because it's mine," House quietly replied without turning back to look at him.

The silence stretched between them and neither knew whether a minute had passed or a whole hour before Wilson finally spoke. "What?" he inquired, positive that he hadn't heard House right.

"It's mine," he repeated, turning around, his eyes on the floor as he slowly brought them in Wilson's direction and then met his gaze. "The baby's mine."

They stood there, staring at one another for at least five minutes. When Wilson was no longer sure he could continue standing he grabbed a chair from the table and pulled it out, sinking into it. His eyes fell to the floor as he tried to work through House's declaration. "You slept with Cuddy?" he finally managed to ask, glancing back up at House.

He nodded, unable to verbalize it in that moment. Rather than moving to the table, he sank to the floor where he was at, leaning back against the cabinets under the kitchen sink.

"House, how do you know the baby isn't Lucas's?" Wilson asked him quietly, not wanting to upset House further but knowing it was a question he had to ask.

"Remember that day after the conference when Lucas swung by the clinic and I treated him for strep?" House muttered, rubbing a hand over his scruff as he waited for Wilson to respond.

He just nodded.

"Lucas said something to me then about knowing if Cuddy got pregnant that it wasn't his," House explained. "He didn't come right out and say it but it was obvious. Christmas Eve, I was at her house when her mother asked her if they planned to have kids. Lucas wasn't in the room but Cuddy said while they hadn't talked about it she was very open to the idea."

"And then you realized she didn't know and made a point of clearing that up for her," Wilson filled in, not judging House but knowing that would be his response because he knew House enough to know his reactions when it came to someone he cared about.

"Yeah," he admitted. "Cuddy accused me of lying. Lucas came out and said I wasn't. He said he hadn't thought that she wanted more kids. Or maybe he just assumed they'd adopt if she did. But in any case, he assumed she couldn't conceive because he knew of the IVF procedures failing and obviously, that Rachel was adopted. Cuddy said it didn't matter. Lucas felt it did," he finished, leaving it at that.

Wilson stared at him, not knowing how to react to anything anymore. "When did you sleep with her?" he asked after a lengthy pause.

House looked away but sighed. "She was upset. The next week she came by my apartment yelling at me about some tests I'd done without her authorization. She was blaming what happened on me and the whole week she refused every test I asked for, even though I wasn't being unreasonable. We were fighting. And then it just happened."

"And I take it that didn't end well," Wilson stated resignedly.

House looked at him and then away. "No. It did not."

"Does Lucas know?" he inquired.

"Being that he called her at five in the morning and I answered her phone, I would have to assume, yes, he does," House sarcastically replied.

"Alright, I don't care about Lucas," Wilson said finally. "Let's forget about him. What are you going to do?"

"I'm pretty sure I have to tell her," House sardonically quipped.

Wilson pinched the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut. "I kind of think even if you don't, eventually she'll notice."

House chuckled, de-stressing a little at Wilson's statement of the facts. Then he sobered. "What if she doesn't want it?"

"Do you want it?" Wilson asked in surprise.

House didn't have to think about it. He had done more than his share of thinking as he tossed and turned in bed the last few weeks. He nodded in the affirmative.

Wilson looked at him somewhat taken aback. He whistled under his breath before considering it and realizing that maybe he shouldn't be surprised. "Cuddy might not react the way you think she will. She's wanted to have a child of her own. She's tried. Maybe once she knows she'll embrace the idea."

House lifted an eyebrow in his direction as if Wilson didn't have the first clue when it came to Cuddy.

"She told her mother at Christmas that she was open to more," Wilson defended.

"That was when it would be Lucas's. Not when it would be mine," he argued. "Right now she blames me for everything that's wrong in her life. I seriously doubt she will jump for joy when I tell her."

He shrugged. "Maybe. Maybe not. But honestly House, you can't be to blame for everything. Cuddy's going to have to accept that this is partly her doing as well."

House just scoffed, clearly of the opinion that Cuddy would never arrive at that conclusion. He slowly got to his feet, done with the conversation. "Wanna watch some TV?"

Wilson stared at him but knew the subject was now closed. "Sure House. Maybe they've got a game on that I don't know about."

* * *

While House knew that Wilson wouldn't tell anyone anything at the present, he did not waste any time going to Cuddy. He sighed as he stood outside her door the next afternoon, a pregnancy test he had swiped from the clinic weighing down his pocket, its bulky shape making House paranoid that someone would become suspicious. Expelling his breath he pushed the door open and stepped in, closing it firmly behind him.

Cuddy looked up and upon seeing him, got to her feet. "Whatever you came for, say it and get out," she angrily informed him.

House shot a look at her briefly but then he decided this really was going to be bad and turned back to shut the blinds, flipping the door lock in the process. Cuddy bit out a scream of frustration and stormed around her desk to approach him. Before she could reach the door, House grabbed a hold of her and forcefully turned her, shoving her into a seated position on the couch.

"If you don't get out of here before I count to five, I am going to scream," she said through clenched teeth. "I…2…3…"

"Oh for Pete's sake, Cuddy! What are we? Ten?" he demanded to know, rolling his eyes in consternation.

She glared at him a moment before saying, "House, I have NOTHING to say to you. I don't even want to SEE you. Whatever it is, say it quick and GET OUT."

"I didn't ruin your life, Cuddy," he said sadly, standing in front of her to prevent her from getting to her feet.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that," she retorted, her eyes flashing.

"Is this how it's going to be between us from here on out?" he asked her resignedly after a moment.

"You can't be serious, House," she scoffed. "Exactly what did you think things would be like between us after you did everything in your power to run Lucas off?"

House pursed his lips, staring at her, his hand resting on the outside of his pocket. "Fine," he replied, not willing to deal with everything at once. Cuddy was clearly committed to the stance she was taking and nothing he could say would do any good. "I'll leave in a few minutes. But first there's something you and I have to talk about."

"There's nothing you and I have to talk about," she spit back at him, her face set in stone.

He sighed and not knowing how else to broach the subject, he decided to just get to the point. Removing the box from his pocket, he held it out to her. Cuddy stared at it like she had no idea what it was or why he'd be giving it to her. "You're pregnant, Cuddy," he said without emotion.

Her eyes flew open in disbelief and she pushed him away from her, getting to her feet. "I am not, House. Now get out!"

He threw the box down on the couch and reached for her, taking her by the shoulders. "You are, Cuddy," he repeated, his eyes boring holes into hers as if to make her see what he saw.

She shook her head. "No, I'm not," she whispered.

"Fine. Whatever. Take the test. Prove it," he said seriously, not about to give up.

She looked away before mumbling, "But Lucas can't have…"

House released her but continued to look at her in anger, somehow outraged that she'd find it more acceptable if it was Lucas's, even if he had known that was the reality of the situation. "It's not Lucas's. It's mine," he bit out.

Cuddy instantly met his gaze, her head going from side to side. "I'm NOT pregnant, House," she pronounced with resolve.

"Just take the test, Cuddy," he said through clenched teeth, reaching for the box before pressing it into her hands. Once she took it, he turned and walked to her private bathroom, pulling the door open and gesturing for her to go in.

Her eyes hardened. "I AM NOT PREGNANT," she declared harshly, flinging the box at him.

House caught it. "Fine," he muttered, heading for the door. "Let's see if anyone else can convince you to take the stupid test."

"No!" Cuddy immediately protested, running after him. "I'll take it. If that's what it will take to get you out of here, I'll do it."

House stopped and turned back to face her, nodding, his mouth a tight line. He held it out to her and she took it from him reluctantly. When she made no move to head into her bathroom, House pointed to it again. "Let's go, Cuddy."

She looked at him as if he had lost his mind. "You are NOT going in there with me," she automatically objected.

"I'll turn my back to give you privacy but I want to be 100% positive you take it. If it says you're not pregnant, I'll accept that. But if you are, we need to talk," he stated, completely serious.

She wasn't pregnant. She knew she wasn't. If she was, she'd know.

House seemed to know what she was thinking. Shaking his head in frustration he went through the same list he'd gone through with Wilson the night before. "You're tired. You have headaches regularly. Beyond what's normal for you. You're nauseous. Cigarette smoke makes you gag. Your diet has changed. You're losing weight and yet, your breasts are fuller than ever."

Cuddy looked like she wanted to strike him, but he caught her arm in time to keep her from carrying out her desire. Calmly, he continued, "You should have had your period two weeks ago and yet you didn't."

A tear trickled out of her eye and House sighed, releasing her wrist to reach up and brush it away. "You're pregnant," he said again, his voice softening.

Cuddy broke their gaze, turning and making her way to the bathroom.

"You swear you'll take it?" he asked quietly, not sure he should let her go in by herself but feeling like maybe she believed him enough to take him seriously now.

She nodded without looking back, slipping into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.

House stood outside, not knowing what he could do to make this easier. He heard her pee a minute later and just waited, listening to the water come on shortly thereafter. When she came out, he took the pregnancy test from her outstretched hand, searching her face for signs of how she was handling this. She remained impassive.

"I'm not pregnant," she muttered. "Now leave."

House looked at her a moment and then glanced at the pregnancy test. As he did, the strip turned from white to pink. "You are Cuddles," he said gently, turning to her and holding it out for her to see.

In that instant, her composure slipped and she broke down, sobbing in great heaves. House set the pregnancy test aside and gathered her into his arms, holding her firmly against him, a hand stroking through her hair as he tried to soothe her, shhing her like a parent would a child. He wasn't sure if this was a positive reaction or a negative one. He had a feeling though that it wasn't what he hoped. "Shh, Cuddy. It will be alright," he murmured into her hair, unconsciously pressing a kiss to her head. "I'm right here."

Apparently that wasn't what she wanted to hear. Almost immediately her arms came up and her fists started to beat against his chest. He released her when she didn't calm down, just growing more agitated. "Cuddy," he began softly, his eyes focused on her.

"Don't!" she stated in fury. "Just don't!"

He took another step back, nodding. "Okay."

A moment later she had regained her composure, wiping the tears from her cheeks with the back of her hand. Her chin came up and House waited, knowing she'd made some sort of decision. "I'll miscarry," she said with finality. "I always miscarry."

House stared at her, having somehow expected this reaction though still deeply wounded by it regardless. He wasn't going to argue with her. He wasn't going to make her change her opinion and embrace the idea of being pregnant. He wasn't even going to point out how she'd wanted this in the past. What he was going to do was point out where he stood. "I want this baby," he said quietly. "I want our baby, Cuddy."

She looked at him as if he was insane. "No," she protested, her voice cracking.

"I want our baby," he repeated. "I want you, but if you don't want me there's nothing I can do about it. But this baby… This baby is both of ours. And I want it."

"I'll miscarry," she said again, shaking her head.

"No you won't," House told her evenly, disagreeing. "Not this time."

"I always do," she informed him, holding to her claim.

For some reason, House was certain that this time it would hold. Maybe only because he knew she didn't want it to. But rather than argue, he only said, "Promise me you won't do anything to harm this baby."

Cuddy looked at him as if in shock that he'd think she would. "I won't," she murmured immediately.

"You'll give me your word on that?" he pressed.

She shook her head in disbelief. "I won't have to. I'll miscarry naturally."

House didn't know how he could find that reply satisfactory, but for the moment it would do. He nodded, picking the pregnancy test up and slipping it into his pocket when she wasn't looking. He turned finally and headed for the door, knowing this was just the beginning of the path his life had diverged on.

"House, don't tell anyone," she said firmly.

He shook his head, opting not to tell her that he'd already spoken to Wilson. "I won't," he answered, unlocking the door and exiting a moment later.

* * *

House entered Wilson's office ten minutes later via the balcony. Wilson immediately looked up, trying to judge from House's expression whether he'd talked with Cuddy yet. When he couldn't make head or tails of it he asked, "Did you talk to her?"

Rather than answer, he reached in his pocket, withdrawing the pregnancy test. He set it calmly in front of Wilson, a smile forming on his lips without him even being aware of it.

Wilson stared at it, apparently not as disposed as House to touch something Cuddy had peed on. Several moments passed before he looked up to meet House's expression, dumbfounded. "You were right?" he mumbled disbelievingly.

"Looks that way," House quipped. "But you don't know anything. She asked me not to tell anyone. I didn't tell her you already knew."

"You know in all honesty," Wilson said then, tilting his head slightly to the side as he took in House's expression. "If the day ever came where a woman approached you to tell you she was pregnant with your child, I never would have thought you'd be as pleased as you appear to be right this minute."

"Ah, but I told her," he corrected, chuckling. House was all too aware that this wasn't over. In fact, he was sure it was far from it. But for the moment, he wanted to enjoy the fact that he'd done something no one else had succeeded in doing. He'd gotten Cuddy knocked up. And he was going to be her baby's daddy.

Wilson groaned, pursing his lips. "Will you get that thing off my desk?" he asked then, motioning at it.

"You surprise me, Wilson," House taunted. "I fully expected you to weep over it like an old woman," he continued, though he grabbed it, tucking it back into his pocket.

"If you want to keep this quiet, you better keep that thing hidden," Wilson warned him, ignoring House's commentary. He shook his head, trying to figure out what he was supposed to think about this. Just then he remembered that he hadn't inquired about Cuddy's reaction. "How does Cuddy feel about it?"

House instantly sobered. "She's positive she'll miscarry," he told him, frowning.

"She has in the past," Wilson acknowledged, thinking it over.

"She won't this time," House replied.

"You won't get any argument from me," Wilson instantly said. "As you showed yourself capable of predicting Cuddy was pregnant, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on that one."

House nodded, though Wilson knew he was contemplating Cuddy's reaction. Rather than press for more details of how House thought she was taking it he decided to take this pregnancy as a good thing, if only for House's sake because his friend was obviously content with the idea of fatherhood. "Congratulations, House," he remembered to say, unable to keep from smiling.

"Thanks Uncle Jimmy," House quipped.

Wilson looked at him thunderstruck, realizing for the first time that this was a road House had every intention of dragging him along on. He chuckled, wondering what the years ahead would hold for all of them. He hoped this would be a turning point for House and Cuddy. And he wondered just how long he'd be forced to keep this quiet.

* * *

Cuddy stood in the same spot she'd been in when House had left, unable to get back to work, unable to move. She didn't want to think. She didn't want to accept what House had just brought to her attention. But there was no way she could pretend that the pregnancy test hadn't jarred her into a greater awareness of the wreck her life had become.

She forced herself to move to the couch, sinking onto it. Her hand crept to her belly but then she automatically jerked it away as if burned. House thought this was a good thing. He…wanted it. But she didn't. How could she?! This would be the final strike against her in Lucas's eyes. To be pregnant, and by House…there was no getting past that. There wasn't. Cuddy knuckled away angry tears, furious that House had done this to her on top of everything else. She would miscarry, she told herself. She had to.

* * *

House climbed out of bed the next morning and headed for the bathroom, hours before he had to be up for work. He had tossed and turned all night because the knowledge that his life was changing weighed heavily on him. Cuddy desperately clung to her delusion and clearly had no interest in having a baby with him. Each day she seemed a little farther out of his reach. Yet there was nothing he could do about it. There was nothing he could do to restore their relationship, even to that of friends. So she wanted Lucas. After everything. Well, he would no longer get in her way. But he was ready for this next phase of life. He was ready to have this kid and see where the road would go from there. It was time to grow up. Even if Cuddy didn't want to go along for the ride.

-----

"_**I watch you grow away from me in photographs  
And memories like spies  
And salt betrays my eyes again  
I started losing sleep and gaining weight  
And wishing I was ten again  
So I could be your friend again**_

**_These days we go to waste like wine  
That's turned to turpentine  
It's six a.m. and I'm all messed up  
I didn't mean to waste your time  
So I'll fall back in line  
But I'm warning you we're growing up_**

**_I heard you found some pretty words to say  
You found your little game to play  
and there's no one allowed in  
Then just when we believe we could be great  
Reality it permeates  
And conquers from within again_**

**_These days we go to waste like wine  
That's turned to turpentine  
It's six a.m. and I'm all messed up  
I didn't mean to waste your time  
So I'll fall back in line  
But I'm warning you we're growing up_**

**_Oh, Oh, Oh, I know we're okay_**

**_Oh, Oh, Oh, I, I know we're okay  
_**

**_These days we go to waste like wine  
That's turned to turpentine  
It's six a.m. and I'm all messed up  
I didn't mean to waste your time  
So I'll fall back in line  
But I'm warning you we're growing up"_**

* * *

Song: "Turpentine" (Brandi Carlisle)


	18. It Will Be Me

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I don't know why but I get so excited to read your reviews and at the same time, so terrified that people are going to be disappointed! I thought for sure I'd get some comments like, "Not another Huddy baby story!" But it didn't happen!! Yea!! Thanks for all the encouragement! Here's another chapter for you! Hope you like!) (P.S. Was still up at 4:45 a.m. this morning and all of a sudden I thought, "What?! Wilson's moving?! That is...HUGE! Leaving behind that apartment he shared with Amber?! Isn't that indicative of being willing to leave the past behind and move on? And to move on and take House with? Wow! And then I thought, "please no Hilson. Please no Hilson. Please no Hilson. I want my Huddy happiness.") :)_

* * *

Early March, 2010

Cameron paused outside the conference room door, wondering if she should wait and talk with Wilson first once he was done with his current patient or whether she should just feel House out on this one. She smiled and reached for the door, her decision made when House spotted her.

House watched Cameron come in, trying to gauge her expression, and then turned back to his team, who were trying hard to convince him that all signs pointed to Lupus.

Cameron spoke on his behalf, "It's never Lupus."

Foreman rolled his eyes and gave her a pointed look. "There's an exception to every rule."

She shrugged, not really caring, and House repeated what she had said. "It's not Lupus. Do the blood tests again. Somebody missed something."

The team got up as one and slipped out the door. House could hear their disgruntled mumbling through the glass. Turning to Cameron, he sarcastically asked, "And what can I do for you?"

She walked past the table to lean against the wall, her hands in her lab coat pockets. "Word on the streets is the wedding's on hold."

"What wedding?" he asked, feigning disinterest as he casually flipped through the patient file the team had left behind.

"Cuddy's wedding," she said, smiling in a way that let him know she was on to the fact he already knew that.

"So it's on hold, huh?" he restated, leaning back in his chair. House intentionally avoided thinking about that to any length, not wanting Cameron to read anything he didn't want her to know right now. "What else do the gossipmongers say?"

She shrugged. "Not much. They think that's why she's been a little off lately. She's pouring herself into her work, like always, but something's different. Anyone who interacts with her much at all knows that. They've concluded it wasn't her decision, though some argue Lucas must have ticked her off and she's the one putting it on hold."

"Did anyone ask her when it's been rescheduled for?" he asked casually.

Cameron looked at him slyly as if she was onto him. "Someone did. But Cuddy practically bit her head off. I don't think anyone's going to ask that again. My guess is, and I think you already know this judging from your expression, there is no future date."

House knew Cameron was fishing. He was much better at hiding things than she was hinting at. "Cuddy's still wearing the ring," he pointed out. "It's not altogether over and done with."

Cameron's expression became one of thoughtful concentration. "Hmm," she finally murmured. "I guess you're right."

House nodded in agreement. "Aren't I always?" he smugly pronounced.

"But you do still want them to break up, right?" she asked him then, her eyebrows drawn together.

"Of course," he said, knowing it was the one answer that might get her to stop probing.

Cameron nodded, studying his face for a moment. Something was off but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"Can I get back to proving Foreman wrong now?" House asked mockingly.

She bit her lip to keep from smiling as she shook her head as if he was a hopeless case when it came to conversation. "Sure thing," she finally replied, straightening from where she had been leaning in order to make her way to the door.

House looked down at the file in his hands, studying it. He felt Cameron's eyes on him in the moment before she closed the conference room door behind her. When he knew she was gone he looked up, considering what she'd said. So, one of the nurses had asked Cuddy about her upcoming nuptials and she had said that the date had been pushed back for the present. It wasn't the exact truth but House found it interesting all the same that she'd deflected, rather than come right out and say that the wedding was off. But then, seeing as she still had that ring on her finger, he couldn't be too surprised. Cuddy was still holding out hope. At this point, that was more frustrating than anything. But at least he didn't yet have to deal with baby rumors. That was sure to make life interesting. Perhaps too interesting, House acknowledged to himself.

* * *

House watched Cuddy from across the clinic, doing his best to be discreet. She was busy talking with some of the new hires about hospital policies and procedures, her lab coat obscuring her body and making it impossible for him to gauge how close she was to showing. She wore it a lot lately. He wondered if that wasn't part of the reason why. She didn't keep it buttoned 100% of the time, but even when it was unbuttoned it still kept him from getting a good look at her from the side. And right now the clipboard in her hands obscured her from the front. House sighed, shaking his head as he made another notation on the patient file in his hands. He passed the file over to a nurse and called for his next clinic patient.

As much as Cuddy ignored him, he knew the time would come when she'd seek him out. Yet he wasn't going to wait for her to come to him. She needed to start taking prenatal vitamins. He should have given her some when he told her she was pregnant but he hadn't, not wanting to press his luck. Once he was done in the clinic though, that would be the next thing on his agenda.

* * *

Wilson was sitting in the cafeteria eating an early lunch as he'd had to reschedule a patient for noon and the appointment would take at least a couple hours. He had to break bad news and then talk the man through how they'd fight his esophageal cancer. He glanced up as Cameron came over and sank down into the seat across from him. "Hey. You going to eat?" he asked casually, looking back down at his food as he took another bite of his salad.

"No. Not right now. I told Chase I'd wait for him to get done with the surgery he's in the middle of," she informed him, shaking her head.

He nodded but then noticed her expression. His eyes narrowed and before he could stop himself he asked, "What?"

She chuckled but leaned forward on the table towards him, folding her hands in front of her. "Spill," she commanded, looking at him pointedly.

"What?" he asked, his expression changing into one of artful confusion.

Cameron wasn't buying it. "Wilson, I've hardly seen you this last week. But each time I have you've looked at me like you desperately want to say something and then the very next second you come to a standstill, do an about face and walk away as fast as you can. I'm onto you. Now spill. And tell me what this has to do with Cuddy and the wedding being pushed back."

Wilson choked on a tomato but then managed to get it down, reaching for his water to chug it down and give him a moment to think.

Cameron looked at him sternly, her arms crossing now as she leaned back in her chair, waiting.

He sighed dramatically and finally nodded. "You got me. But how did you hear about Cuddy's wedding being…pushed back?" he asked, seeing a way out and not about to let it slip from his grasp.

Cameron shrugged, overlooking his momentary hesitation. "You know how this place is. Everyone's been watching Cuddy the last few months, trying to figure out what was going on. One of the nurses finally got up the nerve to ask her about the wedding. Cuddy said it had been pushed back and of course, in five minutes it had spread like wildfire from one end of the ground floor to the next. But how did you know Wilson?"

"House told me," he quickly replied, unable to come up with another plausible reason for how he'd known.

She eyed him for a minute, weighing his words. "I knew House knew something," she muttered then.

"You talked to him?" Wilson asked in surprise, not having seen that one coming.

She nodded. "A couple hours ago."

"What did he have to say?" he asked, unable to curb his curiosity.

Cameron looked at him quizzically but said, "That she's still wearing her ring, so while they might have pushed it back, it doesn't look like Lucas is out of the picture completely."

Wilson stared at her but finally said, "Yeah, I guess not," before digging back into his salad with a vengeance.

Cameron frowned, her eyebrows drawing together. She had a feeling there was more to this than she knew. She opened her mouth to press Wilson, but he pushed his chair back right then, getting to his feet.

"Sorry but I have an appointment in a few minutes," he said apologetically, picking up his tray.

Cameron nodded but didn't comment, scrutinizing his expression.

Wilson turned and hurried away, dropping off his tray before heading towards the exit. Right before he went through, he glanced back at Cameron and in that instant she got her confirmation that there was more to the story. At the same time, Wilson recognized she was on to him. He pushed through the doors, beating a hasty retreat, knowing this wasn't over.

* * *

House saw Cuddy in her office and took a deep breath before knocking and walking in.

"Yes?" she asked calmly, even if her tone was a bit sharp.

"I need you to sign off on this," he replied, passing over a document for a minimally invasive procedure he wanted to do after closing the door and crossing the room to approach her desk.

She scanned it quickly and then signed without comment.

House took the file from her and then removed the prenatal vitamins from his pocket, setting them on her desk directly in front of her.

Cuddy hissed and glanced around quickly as if she was afraid someone would now know.

"Just put them in your purse," House said in annoyance, rolling his eyes.

She grabbed them and threw them in a desk drawer instead. "I don't need them, House," she muttered angrily.

He sighed. "You do Cuddy. And I'm scheduling you for an appointment with an OB GYN too.

Cuddy was outraged at the liberty he was taking. "You don't get to do this, House," she bit out.

He shrugged and turned to head for the door. "You haven't miscarried yet. You're going to have to accept this at some point. And you gave me your word that you wouldn't harm the baby. That means you have to take care of yourself. Prenatal vitamins and doctor's appointments are a part of that."

"Don't talk so loud," she instructed him, her voice on edge.

He stopped at the door and turned around to face her, one eyebrow lifted. "The door is shut. No one can hear me. Relax."

She shook her head angrily at him. "I'll take the vitamins but no doctor's appointments. Not yet."

"I'll give you two weeks to schedule one yourself. Then I'm going to do it for you," he replied nonplussed as he pulled the door open and walked out, shutting it quietly behind him.

Cuddy sat at her desk, seething. Her jaw clenched and she watched House until he was out of sight, her nails digging into her palms. If she didn't miscarry soon, she might have to consider other options.

* * *

Mid-March, 2010 (13 Days Later)

Cuddy furiously dug through her closet, trying to find something to wear for work. Her penchant for tight-fitting clothes was causing more than a small problem. She still hadn't miscarried and she was now at the point where she knew it was only a matter of time until people at the hospital noticed her belly and started to ask questions. The situation was getting a little desperate. Finally she yanked an outfit from the closet that was a little looser on her. It wasn't one of her favorites but if it hid her secret it would have to do. Cuddy slipped it on, immediately feeling a little relief as it didn't fall on her belly but hung a little loose. She sat down on the bed to pull the only pair of heels that she had to match it on, then getting to her feet. But when she turned to the side, looking in her mirror, she realized it didn't matter whether it fell on her belly or not. The minute she sat down it came up against her skin and the fabric continued to cling there unless she made sure to pull it free. Her eyes began to tear and she bit back a sob as she struggled to think of a way to handle this latest catastrophe. She'd just have to pay attention to it all day. There was no other solution. And perhaps on her lunch break she could go to a couple stores, making a few purchases to get her through until the reason for her belly bulge was gone for good.

* * *

House finished his case in the early afternoon and decided to call it a day, tired out after pulling an all-nighter the night before. He ran into Cuddy in the hospital entrance, his eyes flickering down to the shopping bags in her hands. His eyebrows lifted questioningly but he kept his mouth shut, knowing better than to say anything. He nodded. "My patient's taken care of. I'm heading home."

"Fine," she said, her mouth drawn in a tight line. She stepped around him and headed for the clinic doors, making her way to her office.

House watched her go before finally turning and heading outside. Tomorrow he'd bring the doctor visit back up. He hoped when he did she'd be a little more predisposed to the idea, especially if she was now at the point where she needed new clothes.

* * *

House opened the door to his apartment that evening and stared at Cuddy who was waiting to be let in. Her eyes were steely and House knew in that moment why she had come. Well, so much for being more predisposed. He took a step to the side and allowed her to enter, closing the door behind her. Then, rather than follow her into the living room, he made his way through it to the kitchen beyond and grabbed himself a can of pop, popping the tab to take a drink. It wasn't that he didn't already know how he would handle this. It was just that he knew it wouldn't go over well and he hated to go about it the way he knew he had to. Oh well. He saw no other way. House gulped down a few swallows and then set the can aside before emptying his lungs of the air that had built up, slowly refilling them a second after.

Turning, he made his way to the living room and waited for her to say what she had to say.

Cuddy refused to make eye contact with him. Her voice came out muffled but he heard her all the same. "I want an abortion."

Her words triggered a flashback and it was like he was back with Cuddy in that patient's room he'd had a few years ago. As if from far away he heard Cuddy tell the pregnant patient, "_Must be easier to hear you might die than to hear that your baby might die. But if there's anyone I would trust to save my baby, it would be Dr. House."_ It looked like Cuddy might be eating her words. Because that was exactly what he had every intention of doing.

"No," House said simply from where he stood in the doorway.

She snapped her head up, her eyes glaring at him. "It's my body and I can do what I want with it."

"It is your body," he agreed. "But that's my baby too and you aren't going to kill it."

"It's a fetus," she bit out.

He wanted to say, "No, that's my line. Yours is to refer to it as a baby the whole conversation." But he didn't. Still, House could have laughed at the irony that he of all people was going to argue this one. But truthfully, ever since that pregnant patient whose womb he had cut open to save her baby's life in utero, it's little hand coming out to wrap around his finger, his position on the matter of when life starts had wavered. He supposed he'd even acknowledged that without acknowledging it when he'd returned to the patient and referred to her baby as a baby, rather than a fetus. And when it came to this baby, their baby, he had no intention of giving in to her, pretending like this life growing inside her didn't mean something to him. Well, to each his own hypocrisy he decided.

"I want it," he finally said rather than arguing, as he knew that would only escalate the fight into involving matters outside the one at hand.

Cuddy got to her feet and House's eyes immediately went down to her belly, which she noticed and was only further angered by. She quickly tugged her top away from her skin. "I don't," she volleyed back.

"Then we'll deal with that when the baby's born," he said resolutely. Sighing, he added, "Cuddy, if you kill this baby, it's not going to make things better. It will only make them worse. You've wanted a baby for years. Now that you're going to have one, why can't you just give it a shot?"

"I have Rachel," she angrily spat. "Rachel's the only child I'll ever have."

House stared at her, his chest hurting. He stood there for some time, just watching her. "No one said you can't have two children," he quietly reminded.

"This isn't going to change things for you, House," Cuddy said then. "It's not going to make me change my mind about where we stand. I'm done with you. You might have this little fantasy of us and a family all our own but I'm here to tell you, there is NO us. And if I don't miscarry in the next couple weeks, I have every intention of terminating."

She moved to leave but House caught her arm and pulled her back. "You're not having an abortion, Cuddy," he told her quietly, though his voice had an edge to it that declared he meant business. "If I have to I will go see a lawyer and I'll sue."

Cuddy laughed mirthlessly. "It wouldn't matter, House. A woman's body is still her body. You can't force me to go through with a pregnancy I don't want. The courts would never side with you."

House's mouth firmed grimly. "You might be right," he finally acknowledged. "But do you really want the publicity it would draw? How do you think that would look for you? How do you think that would affect your life at PPTH? You think everyone there will continue to respect you? You think the scandal wouldn't give people pause, including donors, and then, the board? And what of your illusion that things are still hunky dory with Lucas? When I come forward telling everyone that you're pregnant with my kid, you don't think that might make your pipe dream a little hard to cling to?"

Cuddy jerked her arm free of his hold and stepped back, looking at him in shock that he would destroy her reputation and career in addition to the havoc he'd already wrecked in her personal life in order to force her to do what he wanted. "I hate you," she said, her voice getting louder and louder as she repeated the words until she was screaming them. "I hate you. I hate you. I HATE YOU!"

House looked away and then down at his feet. When all was quiet, he said, "I'm going to do what I have to do Cuddy."

"Fine," she choked out from between clenched teeth. "You win." And with that she whirled away and quickly left his apartment, the door slamming behind her.

House took a few shaky steps over to the nearest chair and then sank into it, his hand rubbing over his face in agitation. He knew she thought he was being selfish, but it wasn't true. At least not completely. He knew in the end this was in Cuddy's best interest as well. One day she'd recover from the loss of Lucas and how would she ever face herself if she carried through on what she wanted to do to escape her problems right now? No, House knew Cuddy. He knew her better than she knew herself it seemed. And in the end blackmailing her to keep this pregnancy wasn't how he'd like to convince her but if it was the only remaining option he had, he'd do it. At least it would keep her from making a mistake they'd both regret the rest of their lives.

* * *

Cuddy arrived home not even sure how she'd gotten there. She honestly couldn't remember the drive. All she knew was that within her a storm of emotions was generating and she had no choice but to get home, relieve her nanny, and get Rachel to bed before she herself could allow the storm to break. The nanny heard her car pull in and opened the door for her, Rachel happily babbling and clapping at the sight of her mommy. Cuddy smiled but it didn't go all the way to her eyes. She took Rachel immediately and then set her briefcase down on the couch before thanking the nanny and walking her out.

Once the door was closed Cuddy stood there in her spot, emotions very close to the surface. Rachel patted her face and a smile tugged at her lips in the second before she smacked a kiss to her daughter's cheek. Carrying her into the kitchen, she set her down in her highchair and reached for some of the baby biscuits she had on standby, setting a few of them down on Rachel's tray. Then she busied herself with dinner preparations, forcing herself to concentrate, struggling to keep the tears at bay.

When she had everything ready she set some food on Rachel's tray before making herself a plate. Her own stomach growled as she sank down at the table next to Rachel. Cuddy forced herself to eat, more because she knew she needed the strength for Rachel's sake than because she had any interest in eating, though obviously her stomach was communicating the need for food.

Cuddy gave Rachel a bath after dinner, the baby biscuits having gotten in her hair and somehow, the crevices of her neck. She read to her and then tucked her in, rubbing her back for a moment as was customary, though in the last few months she'd done it more out of habit than because she wanted to, always ready by this point to retreat to her room and curl up in a ball.

Cuddy slipped from the room a few minutes later, pulling the door almost all the way closed behind her before heading back to the living room. As much as she wanted to crawl into bed and call it a night, House's words had wormed into her subconscious reminding her of how important her career was to her and she needed to at least try to tackle some of the paperwork that had piled up because at this point the only two things she had left were her daughter and her job. And in order to keep her job, she had to put everything she had into it.

Her mind wouldn't allow her to concentrate and she found herself sitting there a half hour later, not having accomplished anything. She set aside the files and wrapped her arms around herself, tears of bitterness finally spilling down her cheeks. She did hate him. How could he do this to her? She tried to think of what other options remained to her but nothing came to mind. Cuddy finally resolved to cave on one point. She would call tomorrow and make an appointment with an OB GYN as he wanted. She'd even invite him to come with. Then when she got there she'd find out her odds of carrying this pregnancy to term, once and for all. It was possible that there would be something wrong and the doctor would notice in the ultrasound and talk House into changing his mind. But if it was healthy and the doctor thought it would last, she'd find a way to convince House to give her what she wanted. There had to be a way to convince him. He might think he wanted this but she knew better. House wasn't father material. Yes, she'd find a way. And then he'd back down.

Cuddy reached for a file, ready to get back to business. Her lips curled up in a smug smile. He might have won the battle, but he hadn't won the war.

* * *

House turned the television off and headed to bed, knowing he was in for a long night. He'd managed to push aside all thoughts of Cuddy, the pregnancy, everything, for a while, but once he hit the sheets there would be no stopping the flood of thoughts that were already screaming for his attention. He brushed his teeth and then stripped down, pulling on a pair of pajama pants as there was still a slight chill in the air, especially when night fell. He hadn't bothered to make the bed. He rarely bothered to make it. So all he had to do was sit down and then turn, sliding his feet under the sheets before he pulled them up and over him. He tossed and turned a moment before finally settling on his back, staring up at the ceiling, his arms crossed below his pillow.

Once upon a time, maybe he'd just walk away from this. Maybe years ago, had this happened with someone else, he'd have let them make up whatever decision they wanted and not given it a second thought. But things were different now. He was different. So he'd made up his mind and he would stick to it, consequences be what they may.

Yet that wasn't what bothered him. No. Right now his main concern was Cuddy. He'd had his share of trials in life. And maybe she had too. But not like the one she was in the midst of now. If her break-up with Lucas had cost her as much as she clearly believed it had, what would an unwanted pregnancy do to her? What would forcing her to take it to term do? He expelled a heavy breath, actually worried for her. Whatever she thought of him, he did care. He did love her. And he would stick by her as much as she'd let him, no matter what it cost him in the end. Maybe someday she'd realize that and for once accept that he wasn't the monster she made him out to be but someone who'd been to hell and back himself and was willing to do it again, in order to save her from herself.

-----

"_**When you start falling, who's gonna catch ya?**_

_**I'm willing to betcha, it will be me**_

_**Who's gonna love ya like there's no other?**_

_**Search and discover, it will be me**_

_**When all the others have gone and hurt you**_

_**Who won't desert you? It will be me**_

_**Weighing the options, so much to think of**_

_**But when you think love, it will be me**_

_**You may not see it now**_

_**Love is strange that way**_

_**But someday, some way, baby somehow**_

_**When you've been broken**_

_**And dreams don't oblige you**_

_**Who's that beside ya? Oh, it will be me**_

_**You may not see it now**_

_**Love is strange that way**_

_**But someday, some way, baby somehow**_

_**Who'll be your only true romancer?**_

_**You know the answer, it will be me**_

_**What will it take to bring you to your senses**_

_**And finally convince you, it will be me?"**_

* * *

Song: "It Will Be Me" (Faith Hill)


	19. Over My Head

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Yay reviewers!! :) I LOVE reading your thoughts and opinions! Thanks for sharing them with me! This story has a long ways to go! Enjoy the chapter and stay tuned!!)_

* * *

House was in his office the next morning when Cuddy walked in his door with a post-it note in her hand. He watched her approach stoically, glancing into the conference room at Taub and Thirteen who were sitting at the table while Foreman was down completing his clinic hours. When he was sure they were too occupied to be paying he and Cuddy any attention, he returned his focus to her.

Without comment, she handed him the post-it, and he looked at it, observing the date and time written there. When he returned his gaze to her face, his eyebrows went up in silent inquiry.

"It's with Dr. Amundsen at Princeton General. I'll meet you there," she said, her eyes not meeting his.

He nodded and then watched her as she automatically turned and headed back out of his office. His lips pursed and he glanced back at his team before tucking the note in his pocket. House wondered if he should take this as a positive sign or a negative one. He decided to hold off on taking it as anything, accepting that she was willing to give him this much.

* * *

Cameron kissed Chase's cheek when he showed up in the ER to catch her for lunch. He smiled and took her hand, leading her out of the ER and down the hallway in the direction of the elevator.

She hit the elevator button in the lobby and then turned to talk to him while they waited for it to arrive. But Chase was distracted, his eyes focused on something or someone just out of her sight range. "What?" she asked him, her curiosity peaked at the look of confusion on his face.

"Nothing. I just…" he began, shaking his head and then stepping onto the elevator once the doors opened for them.

She squinted her eyes at him, waiting for him to continue once she hit the button to go up. "What was it?" she finally prompted.

He shook his head once more but tilted his head to the side before asking, "Have you noticed Cuddy lately?"

"I told you. The wedding got pushed back. She's acting a little strange probably because of that," Cameron reminded him.

"It's not that," he said, his lips pressing together while his eyebrows gathered in concentration. "It's the way she's dressing lately."

Cameron looked at him and then laughed. "What are you talking about?" she asked, her lips pursing in a questioning smile.

He read her mind and tilted his head down to give her a look. "I'm not checking her out. I just mean… She's been wearing her lab coat a lot lately. It's…weird. And the outfit she had on today…it's not like her. It's Cuddy's version of…frumpy."

Cameron laughed again. "What? I don't know what you are talking about. I haven't seen her today but I haven't really noticed her wearing her lab coat either."

He shrugged. "Okay. Just seems strange," he finished. "So, how's life in the ER today?"

* * *

Wilson was actually impressed with the fact that he'd managed to avoid Cameron rather successfully since their encounter in the lunchroom. He'd thankfully been either on the phone or with a patient every time she'd come to his office. He also kept his blinds closed at all times. But he knew it wouldn't last. He just wasn't sure how he'd redirect her from the truth when she did catch him alone.

There was a knock on his door just then and he paused mid-bite, finally sighing and setting his sandwich down. "Come in," he called out.

House opened the door and stared at him. "What's with you taking your meals in your office lately? It makes it hard for me to swipe your fries."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Cameron knows something is up. I've managed to escape her notice the last couple weeks, but I know she'll come around again eventually. Eating here serves to keep me out of her range."

House laughed. "You mean she's still trying to figure out what is going on with Cuddy and the wedding?"

He nodded, giving House a stern look when he limped over to the desk and grabbed a few French fries. "You know, I won't be able to keep your secrets forever," Wilson reminded him.

"I'm surprised you've kept them this long," House harrumphed before shoving the lot in his mouth.

Wilson chuckled dryly before asking, "So, what's the latest?"

"I've got a post-it note in my pocket with the date and time for an appointment tomorrow at Princeton General," he informed him, falling back on the couch behind him with a groan.

"OB GYN?" Wilson asked.

House nodded, throwing his feet up to the side and stretching out, as best as he was able.

"Huh," was Wilson's reply.

"Yeah. Huh," House seconded.

Silence fell between them while Wilson worked on his sandwich and House rested his eyes.

"No case?" Wilson finally asked.

"Not yet," House replied with his eyes still closed. "But it's early. Who knows what might get thrown my way in the next few hours?"

"So, are you going with her tomorrow?" he asked next in curiosity.

House turned his head and cracked one eye open, focusing on Wilson. "I'll meet her there. There's no way she'd let me ride with her."

He nodded in agreement though his expression revealed that knowing that made him feel bad for his buddy.

House shrugged. "At least she's going."

"I'm surprised she's willing to have you go with," Wilson commented, balling up his sandwich wrapper and chucking it in the wastebasket.

"Yeah, I'm not sure what that's about, though I would go even if she didn't want me to, since I have the information and all," he said, turning his face back towards the ceiling as his eyes closed once more.

"You haven't really said much about how she's handling this," Wilson hesitantly prompted.

House inhaled and then exhaled loudly before his mouth twitched from side to side. "How much do you want to know and how much can you keep from Cameron?"

Wilson shrugged but, remembering that House couldn't see him, said, "I don't know. I want to know whatever you want to tell me."

"And probably then some," House added, though he smiled like he found it amusing.

Wilson laughed before agreeing, "Probably true. But feel free to censor it down to what you wouldn't want Cameron to know. Eventually she'll get something out of me."

House swung his feet off the couch and sat upright, now looking at Wilson. "Cameron's going to figure out Cuddy's pregnant before long anyway. Did you see what she's wearing today? Nothing about it screams Cuddy."

"I haven't seen her," he replied, shaking his head.

House puffed out his cheeks, releasing his breath before making an admission. "Cuddy came over last night. She wants an abortion."

Wilson's eyes shot open and he stared at House, unsure how to react. "How did you handle that?"

He shrugged. "I wasn't too surprised. Not when she's clinging so tightly to the idea of miscarrying. I figured once she began to question if that would ever happen she might start looking for other options to get her out of this."

"I guess being a pessimist has its upsides. You're better prepared for worst-case scenarios anyway, "Wilson acknowledged dryly before asking, "What are you going to do? I mean, what CAN you do but… What ARE you going to do?" he repeated somberly, sitting forward in his chair.

House rubbed a hand over his face before laughing almost self-depreciatingly. "I told her no."

"You told her no," Wilson repeated, staring at him for a moment, his head moving slightly from side to side as he tried to work through this. "And you think Cuddy will…what?! Just listen to you?!"

"She will," was all House said in reply.

"And…why will she do that?" Wilson asked slowly, leaning even more over his desk and towards House.

"Because if I have to I've told her I'm willing to sue," House admitted with a sigh. "Im not an idiot. I know all about the legalities of this and that there hasn't been a father yet whose successfully forced someone to remain pregnant with his kid. I know realistically the court would side with her. I know the whole argument. I know it's her body. But I know Cuddy. And Cuddy would rather go through with the pregnancy than face the bad publicity of that, especially as it would affect her life here at the hospital as well."

"House…" Wilson stuttered after a minute, unable to say anything else.

"I know," he muttered. "I know."

"And you're sure about this? Even if it means Cuddy very well might never want anything to do with you again?" Wilson inquired.

House nodded. "She doesn't want anything to do with me anyway," he mumbled under his breath. "This can't make things that much worse between us."

Wilson sighed. He supposed that was true.

House pushed himself to his feet, knowing it was time to return to his office and check up on his ducklings. "When Cameron comes around, just do what you can to distract her. Cuddy can't hide a pregnancy forever."

Wilson nodded and then watched as his best friend left, sitting back in his chair once he was gone. He sighed, contemplating the latest development in the House/Cuddy saga. He hoped his buddy knew what he was getting himself into.

* * *

The next day House walked into Princeton General, following the signs to the obstetrics department. He found Cuddy sitting in the waiting room and sat beside her, not knowing what to say. She glanced his way but then refocused on the door, staring it down. Five minutes later it opened and a nurse came out, calling her name. They got up and followed her in, down a hallway, and into an exam room.

House sat there fidgeting while the nurse went over Cuddy's chart. She asked a slew of questions that House listened to with interest before she took a sample of Cuddy's blood. Then she sent her to the bathroom with a cup to fill in order to give them a sample of her morning pee for testing her sugar and protein levels. When she returned, the nurse checked her blood pressure and weight before getting to her feet and removing a paper gown for Cuddy to put on for her exam. But Cuddy interrupted at this point, requesting that they put off the vaginal exam until the next week and do the external ultrasound today. The nurse hesitated but finally agreed, as there was no question in her mind that Cuddy was indeed pregnant. She made sure that Cuddy was settled on the table before telling them the doctor would be in momentarily and slipping out. House raised an eyebrow at the request Cuddy had made but he wasn't about to object. It wasn't like he was going to argue, being that she'd agreed to have him here for this much.

He tried to think of something to say because the silence seemed unbearably awkward to him but she wouldn't even look in his direction and so he got to his feet, pacing, hands in his pockets.

The doctor came in a minute later and greeted both of them, shaking House's hand and introducing himself as Dr. Amundsen before focusing his attention on Cuddy. House watched as he lifted up her shirt to expose her belly, not oblivious to how her mouth set in a firm line. The doctor spread jelly on her and then placed the transducer on her belly, beginning the ultrasound. House had done his fair share of ultrasounds. They didn't do anything for him. But there was something different about this one from the first moment he heard the heartbeat coming through loud and clear via the Doppler device. Emotion clogged his throat and he stared, watching in concentration as the wand moved over Cuddy's belly and a blurry image of the baby came into view.

"You're already thirteen weeks along," Dr. Amundsen informed her in surprise, pointing out some measurements as he asked her a couple questions. Cuddy acknowledged that she could feel it moving, which caught House off guard. But then it occurred to him that she probably felt it was none of his business and he looked away, somber by that realization.

"What are the chances that I will still miscarry?" Cuddy asked then and House looked sharply at her before focusing back on the screen.

"Less than two percent," the doctor assured her. "Things look good. I think this one is going to stick, Dr. Cuddy. I'd say your odds are really good this time round. I don't know how you did it, but it looks to me like you did something right. I'm sure it has a lot to do with getting pregnant the old-fashioned way."

House coughed and knowing better than to look at Cuddy, turned to the doctor. "She's on prenatal vitamins. What else would you suggest?"

"Well, I don't really consider this a high-risk pregnancy. Dr. Cuddy's in great shape, though she's a little underweight for thirteen weeks. I'm going to add Magnesium supplements to the prenatal vitamins she's on. We'll monitor her weight gain, make sure her blood pressure stays within normal range, watch out for any signs of gestational diabetes, keep an eye on the usual, you know. I don't have any concerns at the present. Everything looks really good. The baby appears healthy. If you want I can schedule an amniocentesis but I don't feel like it's necessary," he said, shrugging. "Sometimes mothers just get stressed out and it's more trouble than it is beneficial."

House nodded while the doctor took some still pictures.

"Dr. Cuddy," Dr. Amundsen said, turning to her. "I know you're a runner. In case you are wondering, I think it's safe to continue normal activity. If you should see any signs of bleeding, of course we'd reevaluate, but I think at present, you are pretty much free to do whatever. You already know the list of things to avoid: no alcohol, no smoking, cut down on the caffeine, etc. I'm not going to spend a lot of time on the details because you already know them."

"Can we get a video of the ultrasound?" House asked quickly, knowing Cuddy wouldn't ask. She threw a harsh glance his way, which he ignored and the doctor did not catch.

"Yes. And the photos are printing as we speak," the doctor replied, putting the wand in its place before handing Cuddy some towels to wipe off her belly with.

House took the photos when the doctor handed them over, along with the video disk.

The doctor got to his feet, making some notations in her file before looking at her. His expression turned to one of puzzlement. "Dr. Cuddy, you haven't said much. Everything alright?"

"Yes," she finally murmured, nodding slightly as she got to her feet.

House pursed his lips. "Life has been stressful lately," he said, not knowing what Cuddy would want him to say and what she'd react negatively to.

The doctor looked his way, an eyebrow lifted, but only nodded. "Just try and relax," he said, turning back to Cuddy. "I think as far along as you are, you shouldn't have much to worry about as long as you take care of yourself."

She nodded without comment, not wanting to get into it.

"Stop at the counter on your way out to schedule your next appointment," he instructed after handing her the prescription for the Magnesium supplement. Then he moved to the door and opened it, allowing them to exit ahead of him before he said goodbye and walked in the other direction.

House waited as Cuddy set up another appointment and then walked beside her to the elevator, riding down in silence together. He stayed with her at the pharmacy where she filled her prescription. When they got to the parking lot five minutes later, House looked around for her car, intending to walk her to it.

"I haven't changed my mind," she muttered, coming to a standstill.

House stopped as well, looking at her a moment before he replied, "Neither have I."

Cuddy nodded, her mouth pursing. "There's still time for you to," she said quietly before turning and walking away from him without another word.

House watched her go and when she reached her car he turned to make his way to his motorcycle. Climbing on, he revved the engine and then made sure the video and pictures were safely stored away before tearing off down the street, his thoughts on whether it wouldn't be wise to call an attorney and draft some paperwork, just in case.

Rather than go straight to the hospital, House detoured, heading to his apartment to drop off the video and pictures he'd received from the doctor. He hesitated on his way back out, tempted to make some calls right then and there. But his cell phone went off in that moment and he dug it out of his pocket, answering it to find Taub on the other end, informing him that they had a patient. House said he was on his way before hanging up and heading back out, climbing back on his bike to go to work.

* * *

End of March, 2010

Ever since Chase had mentioned Cuddy's clothing choices, Cameron had begun to pay more attention. And it hadn't taken long for her to realize that Chase was right. She was in fact wearing her lab coat a lot more regularly, and not just when she was doing rounds or pulling her weight in the clinic, but even the time or two that Cameron had gone into her office with paperwork to sign. On top of that, she didn't recognize any of the clothing Cuddy wore in the last few days. And it wasn't that she knew the extent of Cuddy's wardrobe, but the lack of tight skirts and low-cut tops that drew Cameron's attention. If things were bad with Lucas, she could understand Cuddy being depressed or behaving a little out of character, but for it to go to the extent of affecting her wardrobe? That just didn't make sense. Was Cuddy being physically abused?

Cameron stood in the clinic, staring into Cuddy's office where her boss sat behind her desk, catching up on paperwork. The more she watched her, the more puzzled she became. Her eyebrows drew together and she bit her lip, deciding that she was going to risk getting chewed out in order to figure this out so it wouldn't be distracting her anymore.

* * *

Cuddy looked up from the stack of paperwork before her when someone knocked on her door. She nodded to grant Cameron entry and then continued signing her life away, waiting for Cameron to speak. When she didn't, Cuddy glanced up. "Can I help you?" she asked pointedly.

Cameron exhaled, her forehead still lined with questions. "What's going on?" she asked, realizing a moment too late that she probably could have broached a subject better than she just had.

"Excuse me?" Cuddy replied, her tone clipped.

Cameron smiled apologetically and rephrased things. "How are you?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "I'm fine," she sternly informed her. "Now can you tell me where this is going?"

She sighed but then sat down in the chair across from Cuddy's desk. "Is everything alright between you and Lucas?" she asked.

Cuddy stared at her and finally said, "I don't really see how that's any of your business, Dr. Cameron."

Cameron sat a little straighter, somewhat defensive now. "Look, I'm not saying we are best friends or anything, but frankly, everyone has noticed that you've been acting strange the last few months. Next thing I know, I hear the wedding has been pushed back." Cuddy got to her feet, ready to kick Cameron out of her office, but she continued. "Now you're wearing your lab coat all the time and your wardrobe has completely changed to the point where I don't even know what to think…" Cameron's words trailed off as her eyes left Cuddy's face and were drawn to her belly, directly across from where she was sitting.

"I think you need to get back to work, Dr. Cameron," Cuddy was saying, pointing at the door.

"You're pregnant," Cameron exclaimed in shock. Her head moved back an inch or two in surprise and then she quickly looked up at Cuddy's face as her boss stared at her in mute horror. "You're…pregnant?" she repeated then, quieter this time.

Cuddy's fists clenched at her side. Angry, she bit out, "House TOLD you?!"

Cameron's expression immediately turned into one of confusion. "House…KNOWS?!" she asked in bewilderment, not knowing what to make of that detail.

Cuddy instantly knew she'd said too much. Grappling for a way out of this mess, she said, "I told him."

"But if House knows, then Wilson knows. How come I didn't know?" she asked herself out loud, processing.

Cuddy sank back into her seat, needing to do some damage control. "Please don't tell anyone, Cameron," she pleaded. "I'm not ready for anyone to know yet."

"Because of the miscarriage a couple years back?" Cameron asked, it being the first reason that came to her.

Cuddy nodded instantly, latching onto the reason offered to her.

Cameron glanced down at the carpet for a moment before returning her eyes to Cuddy. "How far along are you?"

Cuddy didn't see any way out of answering. "Just about fourteen weeks."

"You told House?" she asked, clearly surprised. Frankly, Cameron was surprised that no one else had noticed before this, considering Cuddy was fourteen weeks along already. But to have House know because Cuddy told him? That was shocking.

Cuddy thought quickly. "Nothing gets by House," she muttered, aiming for sarcasm.

Cameron nodded, her surprise fading. She considered the fact that House knew and once again repeated, "Well, if House knows, Wilson knows."

"I don't think so," Cuddy disagreed, shaking her head.

Cameron looked at her as if she was crazy. "It would explain why he's been avoiding me the last several weeks."

Cuddy groaned, realizing that Cameron was probably right. Her jaw clenched in anger but she relaxed it, not wanting Cameron to read her. "Just don't tell anyone," she instructed with a look that meant business.

Cameron gave her a skeptical look. "People are going to figure it out on their own."

Cuddy stared at her, her expression stony.

"I won't," Cameron acquiesced, one hand coming up to ward off Cuddy's irritation. "I'm just saying people will figure it out."

"Be that as it may," she replied, doing her best to use her administrator voice. "I'm asking you not to share this knowledge with anyone at the present."

Cameron nodded.

"I think you should get back to work now," Cuddy stated firmly, afraid of whatever questions Cameron might think of next.

She got to her feet, turning to head for the door. She stopped just before opening it, looking back at her boss. "Fourteen weeks is great though. At this point a miscarriage would be very unlikely. Congratulations."

Cuddy simply nodded, unable to thank her. When the door closed, her head dropped into her hands, now throbbing with a headache that had been building since Cameron had stepped foot in her office. Cameron knew, she thought then, sitting back upright. And Wilson probably knew too, regardless of what House had promised. His word wasn't good for anything, she angrily thought to herself. She got to her feet, deciding she needed to act before her problem got any bigger. It was time to seek Wilson out and attack the problem through the problem's best friend.

* * *

Wilson was just passing House's office and conference room on his way down to spend some time in the clinic when he heard Cuddy's heels nearby and looked towards the elevator to find her stalking in his direction. He stepped aside, assuming that she was about to go into House's office, but she latched onto his arm instead, taking him by surprise.

"I need to speak with you," she muttered, her tone indicating there was no arguing.

He glanced in at where House was standing with his team, their eyes meeting and exchanging a look in the second before Wilson turned and allowed himself to be dragged off. "Relax your grip," he said, not appreciating how she was manhandling him.

Cuddy's lips formed a firm line but she did as he asked, releasing him completely.

Wilson opened the door to his office and motioned her in, his own face sober. Shutting it behind him, he turned in her direction. "What seems to be the problem?" he asked, keeping his voice even.

"You know exactly what my problem is," she bit out, her hands resting on her hips where she stood in front of him.

His eyes narrowed but after a moment of silence he said, "Maybe you should just tell me what it is and I'll see what I can do for you."

"Cameron just came to me and asked if I'm pregnant," she stated, her irritation coming through loud and clear.

"Don't look at me," he declared defensively. "I didn't tell her."

"But you know," she said, shaking a finger in front of his face.

Wilson stared at her finger disdainfully, not appreciating being treated like a five year old. "Yes, I know," he finally stated. "But I haven't told anyone."

"And you aren't going to," Cuddy informed him.

He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Are we done here?! I have clinic hours to do."

"No, we aren't," she firmly negated. "I need you to talk some sense into your best friend."

Wilson humorlessly chuckled. "Cuddy, this isn't my fight. And I'm not going to fight for you. You're talking to the wrong person. Go talk to House."

Cuddy shook her head. "He won't listen. I can't reason with him."

"And you think I can?" he asked dryly before shaking his head. "Even if I could, I wouldn't. You guys need to sort this out on your own. I'm not pregnant. Nor did I get anyone pregnant."

Angry tears welled up in her eyes and Wilson sighed, a hand coming up to rest on her shoulder in intended comfort. Cuddy shrugged him off, turning away.

"House loves you, Cuddy," he murmured beseechingly. "And he wants this baby. I know you probably still want Lucas. But why not give House a chance to make you happy? Why not look at this like an opportunity, rather than an obstacle to your happiness?" he softly asked, extending a Kleenex over her shoulder for her to take.

She ripped it out of his hand before whirling around, her eyes stormy. "I don't care if he loves me! I don't care if he does want this…! I don't! I don't want him and I don't want to carry his…!" Shrieking in fury, she swiped angrily at her face and then yanked the door open, raging her way down the hallway until she turned out of his field of vision upon reaching the stairs. He stared after her, meeting the bewildered expressions of a handful of employees who had been present to witness her exit from his office. Wilson shrugged apologetically and then closed his office door, sinking down onto his couch. Who was that and what did she do with the real Cuddy? he disbelievingly asked himself as he wiped a hand over his face in bewilderment.

* * *

Once the team had split up, each going their own ways, House stepped out his balcony door and limped his way over to Wilson's side. He had heard raised voices but thankfully he and his team had been in the conference room rather than his office, so whatever had gone on between Wilson and Cuddy just now had been muffled to the point that no one heard anything clearly.

When he opened the glass door Wilson was reclining back on his couch, a hand over his face.

"What was that all about?" House asked, his expression somber.

Wilson looked at him from between his fingers before dropping his hand into his lap. "I'll give you the abbreviated version," he replied dryly. "Cameron asked Cuddy if she's pregnant. Cuddy somehow decided I knew. I told her I hadn't told anyone, nor would I. She demanded I talk you into seeing reason as she sees it. I said no. She screamed like a banshee and promptly tore off down the hall."

House exhaled, a hand rubbing over his own face in agitation. Then he sank down on the couch next to Wilson. "I found a lawyer and had him draw up some paperwork the other day, just in the off-chance that I'd need it. I have it in my office."

Wilson looked at him, no longer surprised by anything. "The woman's going to stroke out if you don't get her to calm down somehow."

House shook his head, his eyes reflecting just how tired he was of fighting her. Getting to his feet, he said, "Guess it's time I go have a chat with Public Enemy #1."

Wilson got to his feet too. "I'll walk down there with you but then you're on your own. I have clinic hours to get thru before this day can end and I can retreat to my apartment with a nice cold beer."

"Hey, that's a thoughtless thing to say," House complained. "Not all of us can bury our sorrows in alcohol."

Wilson laughed then, clapping House soundly on the back. "Remember that the next time you have unprotected sex and knock someone up," he quipped, aiming for lightheartedness.

"Don't worry. I don't think that will be a problem from here on out," he announced matter-of-factly. "Not knocking someone up in the future has just moved itself to the top of my priority list."

* * *

After House made a pit stop in his office he followed Wilson to the elevator, riding down together in silence. Wilson mockingly saluted House before approaching the counter once they'd entered the clinic. House rolled his eyes and turned to enter Cuddy's office, not bothering to knock.

He listened for a moment and then stood by her desk, waiting for her to come out of her bathroom. When she did, she glared at him.

"What do you want?" she muttered from between clenched teeth.

"Need you to sign something," he said without emotion, throwing the file down on her desk as she sat down.

She flipped open the cover. "What is this?" she asked, her angry faltering in confusion.

"I had a lawyer draw it up. It was kind of complicated to draft but nowadays you can draw up legal paperwork for any and everything. It's a contract. It states that you will not participate in risky behavior nor take any action that would be potentially life-threatening for the fetus in the eyes of the court, in exchange for my cooperation during your pregnancy in keeping the involved parties to a minimum and refraining from making this public knowledge," he briefly explained, his voice controlled.

Cuddy's eyes flashed at him, her outrage radiating from her like an atomic bomb detonating.

"Just sign it, Cuddy," he mumbled, grabbing a pen from her desk and holding it out to her.

And in that moment she thought of her one way out of this. "I'll sign it under one condition," she replied, her lips curving up into a smile that made him instantly suspicious.

"What's the condition?" he said without inflection, the pen still in mid-air for her to take.

Slowly, yet forcefully she answered, "When it's born, you take it and walk out of my life, releasing me from all parental responsibility. From that day forward, as far as I'm concerned, you will cease to exist. And you will be out of my life for good."

House stared at her, his face set in stone though inwardly all sorts of emotions were sweeping through him. "We need a witness," he finally said, realizing that as an additional security measure he wanted someone else present to see her sign it and back him up if need be that he hadn't coerced her. "Wilson's in the clinic. I'll be right back."

Cuddy watched him leave her office, unable to blink, unable to move. Had he just agreed? He'd do that? Just walk away?! Walk away from his career? A job he loved? And from…Cuddy herself, who he claimed to love? She stared off in the direction he'd just gone, horrified for some reason she couldn't quite put her finger on. She wasn't even sure how she felt about what she'd demanded of him; hadn't felt the need to think it through first. Cuddy had just seen that as the only argument she could make to get him to give her what she wanted. It had seemed like the perfect way to force him to change his mind. In that moment, as unreasonable and illogical as it would be to anyone other than her, she hated him all the more, for loving a fetus more than he obviously loved her.

House came back in with Wilson following hesitantly. "You just need me to witness you both signing this document?" he asked doubtfully.

House's lips settled in a firm line before he said, "I need to make an amendment at the end of the page, but yeah. You just need to sign after we've both signed, showing that you witnessed us sign the document."

Wilson nodded and House took the file, turning it around on the desk so he could scrawl out Cuddy's amendment, in legible letters the exact words that she'd phrased it to him with. He turned it back around to her briefly. "Is that correct?"

Cuddy could only nod, staring at the words in front of her. House turned it back to him long enough to initial right where he'd written and then he signed his name at the bottom of the form. Flipping to the next page, a copy of the first, he wrote it out again and initialed it, signing once more on the bottom. She watched him repeat this process several more times, wondering just how many copies had to be made. Then he turned it back around and had her initial each page where he'd added her amendment before having her sign on the line above her name at the bottom of each page.

"Your turn, Wilson," he said then, looking up at him as he passed him the pen. Wilson glanced at the paperwork, barely scanning it as he scratched his signature on the line for the optional witness, printing it out on the line directly below.

"You're really serious about this, House?" Cuddy couldn't help but ask, her tone subdued, her eyes studying his face. "The amendment, I mean."

He glanced up at her briefly before somberly saying, "You want me out of your life. I'm willing to give you what you want in exchange for your signature on this document."

"But you're willing to sacrifice your job for this?" she asked pointedly, still trying to grapple with how he could agree to her condition.

Wilson looked up sharply, having just finished signing the last page. "What?" he asked in dread.

But House ignored him, looking back at Cuddy and nodding while Wilson hurriedly flipped back to the first page and read House's amendment over and over again, trying to understand, trying to get the meaning of his written words to sink into his head.

"I'll take the baby and walk out of your life, out of PPTH, asking nothing more of you," House said meaningfully without hesitation.

"But House," Wilson began, his voice almost panicky.

House shook his head, silently telling him to just let it go. Then he picked up the paperwork and gave Cuddy a couple copies, one for her to keep on record and another to place in her lawyer's hands for future reference, should it be needed. And with that he closed the file and turned, limping his way out of the office, both Wilson and Cuddy staring after him.

* * *

Wilson stood in Cuddy's office for several minutes before he glanced her way and then chased after House, forgetting the clinic, forgetting EVERYTHING in his all-encompassing need to understand just what House had done. By the time he found him, House was back in his office, placing the file in his backpack.

He looked up when Wilson walked in. "I thought you had clinic hours to complete?" he asked quizzically, ignoring the reason why Wilson had just charged upstairs to find him.

"You… How could you…? Your job… You…" he stuttered out, unable to think of where to start.

House looked to be sure that no one was in the conference room before he focused his attention on his buddy. "I can find another job, Wilson," he began, sighing wearily. "There's no reason for me to hang around here to see the smoke clear. I'm in over my head as it is. And Cuddy doesn't want me around so why not give her what she wants if it means I get what I want? By the time this pregnancy is over… there won't be anything to stay for. I know this is news to you, but it shouldn't be. I've had the last month to recognize we were heading in this direction. And frankly, I knew I wouldn't be at PPTH forever."

Wilson stared at him, unable to come up with anything to say.

House's mouth formed a firm line and he murmured. "Ironic, isn't it? I'm actively choosing a path that will require me to become responsible, stable, all those stupid qualities that Cuddy claimed as reasons why we had no shot because I was incapable of being that person for her, and now, even when my choices prove there's a possibility that I could match up with her dating criteria, she'd still turn her nose up at me."

Thirteen entered the office right then and House shot Wilson a pointed look before focusing on what she was saying. Wilson excused himself, slipping quietly out the door to return to his office, his mind on House's last statement, only remembering that he was supposed to be in the clinic when he received a page five minutes later from the nurse on duty downstairs.

-----

"_**I never knew  
I never knew that everything was falling through  
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue  
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth  
**_

_**But that's how it's got to be  
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy  
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see  
The smoke**_ _**and who's still standing when it clears**_

_**Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind  
She's on your mind**_

_**Let's rearrange  
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage  
Just say that we agree and then never change  
Soften a bit until we all just get along  
But that's disregard  
Find another friend and you discard  
As you lose the argument in a cable car  
Hanging above as the canyon comes between**_

_**Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind  
She's on your mind**_

_**Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind  
She's on your ...**_

_**And suddenly I become a part of your past  
I'm becoming the part that don't last  
I'm losing you and its effortless  
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground  
In the throw around  
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down  
I won't let it go down 'til we torch it ourselves**_

_**And everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind  
She's on your mind**_

_**Everyone knows  
She's on your mind  
Everyone knows I'm in over my head  
I'm in over my head  
I'm over my...**_

_**Everyone knows I'm in  
Over my head  
Over my head  
With eight seconds left in overtime  
She's on your mind  
She's on your mind"**_

* * *

Song: "Over My Head" (The Fray)


	20. Do I

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Just a heads up! The next few chapters were hard to write so they might be hard to read! Still, hope you enjoy! Thanks for the reviews! Your thoughts are all so interesting and fun to read!)_

* * *

April, 2010

It only took three days for someone to realize Cuddy was pregnant. By the end of that day, word had spread throughout the hospital and everyone knew that the Dean of Medicine was expecting. Cuddy didn't even bother denying it, no longer seeing the point. She still hadn't brought herself to remove the engagement ring Lucas had given her, so naturally everyone assumed the baby was his. In conversation, as well as during gossip sessions scattered throughout the day, no one ever questioned the legitimacy of this apparent fact, though the good thing about that was as infrequent as Lucas's appearances at the hospital had been, no one really knew who he was or even his name unless they had been around back when House had hired Lucas to spy for him. Most people simply referred to him as the Dean of Medicine's fiancé.

In the aftermath of signing the paperwork stating that Cuddy would go through with the pregnancy in exchange for House's silence and subsequent commitment to take the baby at birth and walk out of Cuddy's life forever, House had begun organizing his resume while Wilson resigned himself to doing his part to help House make the adjustments in his life that were shortly to come, as easy and painless as possible.

Cuddy meanwhile locked herself in her office, burying herself in her work and doing her best to avoid everyone as much as she could. While everyone else appeared blind to the strange behavior of House, Wilson, and Cuddy, Cameron was not. In fact, each day she grew more suspicious that there was something else going on. It wasn't in how House and Wilson seemed to avoid Cuddy in the rare moments when their paths crossed, as Cameron wrote that off due to knowing how House felt about Cuddy and how much it had to be killing him to see her not only engaged but also pregnant with Lucas's child. No, it was something else. Something she couldn't quite place her finger on.

So Cameron began to pay special attention to Cuddy every opportunity she had. And then she realized what most troubled her about the boss right now. She wasn't happy. Oh, she would smile in ways that were almost convincing, but Cameron knew the donor smile and when it didn't reach her eyes, she knew something truly was off. Then there was how Cuddy would walk away, saying she needed to get back to work whenever someone on staff would corner her, wanting to hear all about the wedding plans, how Cuddy's fiancé felt about impending fatherhood, how Cuddy herself was adjusting to the life growing inside her. And while Cameron knew that Cuddy wasn't really the gushing kind, preferring to keep her private life private, it just didn't make all that much sense.

Pursing her lips, her forehead wrinkled in concentration, Cameron turned and walked away from the clinic, deciding now was as good a time as any to take her break. And she knew where she was going to take it. Wilson still had answers that she was going to wheedle out of him.

* * *

Wilson was just walking his patient out when Cameron turned the corner and fastened her eyes on him. He said goodbye to the patient, casting a reluctant glance Cameron's way before trying to retreat back into his office alone. But she crossed the distance and stopped the door with her foot before he could close it. Smiling cheerfully, she asked, "Got a minute?"

"Actually I have a couple phone calls to make," Wilson said quickly, hoping for a way out.

Cameron pushed the door open and sank down on the couch. "Well, don't mind me. I can wait."

He sighed, knowing he wasn't going to get out of this now. "I see you've picked up a couple lessons from House," he said dryly. Shutting the door, he then turned and went behind his desk, sinking into his chair. "What's on your mind?" he asked her.

"So I hear Cuddy's pregnant," she began noncommittally.

"Yeah, I heard that too," he replied, reaching for a file to flip through it casually and keep himself from making eye contact.

"You knew before I knew. And I knew before everyone else in this hospital. Well, except for you, House, and Cuddy," she murmured then, calling him on it.

Wilson glanced up at her before returning his attention to the file. "If you say so."

She huffed out a breath, shaking her head. "Tell me what's going on."

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "What do you mean?"

She rolled her eyes. "Okay, I get that you and House are angry with Cuddy about the engagement. And I imagine House can't stand the fact that she's pregnant. But…"

Wilson interrupted, somewhat defensive. "House doesn't have a problem with Cuddy being pregnant," he stated.

Cameron looked pointedly at him. "Of course he does. It's got to be killing him to have Cuddy pregnant with Lucas's…"

"It's not Lucas's," Wilson testily muttered, before his eyes opened in disbelief that he'd just said that out loud.

Her jaw dropped open and she stared at him, her mouth silently moving as if with the words she wanted to get out.

"Forget I said that," he quickly told her, placing his arms on the desk to cradle his head in his hands.

"Wilson," Cameron sputtered, "What do you mean it's not Lucas's?"

He sighed heavily before lifting his head back up to look at her, his lips pursed in frustration. "Nothing. Never mind."

She got to her feet and paced for a second, stopping in front of the glass door to the balcony. "It's House's. It's…House's?!" she asked herself, facing away from him.

"Cameron, I…" he began, trying to think of how to cover for this mess he'd made.

She whirled around to stare at him in confusion. After a moment, she took a couple steps in his direction. "Really? Cuddy's pregnant with House's baby?"

He stretched a hand out towards her, intending to reason with her. "You can't tell anyone! House is going to kill me! And Cuddy can't know that you know either. House agreed to keep this quiet. He signed legal paperwork promising he would."

Cameron shook her head in bewilderment. "What? What are you talking about?"

Wilson sighed again. "Okay, if I answer your questions, will you promise that this information won't leave this room?"

She looked at him a moment but finally nodded slowly, agreeing to his condition.

"Fire away," he reluctantly said then, gesturing for her to go ahead.

"The baby is House's?" she asked, still somewhat dubious.

"Yes," he murmured under his breath.

"What? How did that…happen?" Cameron pressed, sinking heavily into the chair across from him.

He looked at her, a grimace on his face. "I think you know how that happened."

She shook her head, still thoroughly baffled, but said, "Okay. I guess I do. But…how did that happen?!" she repeated, her voice louder than she meant for it to be.

Wilson glanced at the wall in the direction of House's office. "Keep it down," he hushed.

She clapped a hand over her mouth for a moment before slowly peeling it away to ask, "Does Lucas know?"

"I doubt it. He's not in the picture anymore," he said quietly.

Her eyes opened wide in surprise. "But Cuddy still wears her ring," she said, stating what was already obvious.

Wilson just shrugged. "That's Cuddy's issue," he replied without emotion.

Cameron shut her eyes a moment, trying to process. Then she remembered what Wilson had said at the very beginning of this announcement. "What do you mean when you say House signed legal paperwork saying he would keep this quiet?"

He puffed out his cheeks before answering her question. "Cuddy agreed to take the pregnancy to term if House would not disclose information to anyone outside a need-to-know basis," he finally muttered, meeting her eyes with a pointed look.

"She wanted an abortion?" Cameron said softly, almost disbelievingly.

Wilson just nodded slowly.

"But what happens when the baby is born?" she asked next.

"Then House takes it and walks out of Cuddy's life for good," he answered with an edge to his voice.

Cameron's eyes crinkled in confusion. "That will be a little hard considering they work together. They see each other all the time. And how will House hide a baby that suddenly appears from nowhere from his team?"

Wilson remained silent a moment, just staring at her. When she didn't figure it out on her own, he glanced out the window and mumbled, "House is going to quit. He won't work here anymore. That's how he intends to honor this agreement."

Cameron sat back in her chair, her hands trembling with unexpressed energy. "House wants this baby enough to walk out of this hospital for good? Out of Cuddy's life for good?"

"What choice does he have," he muttered crossly.

"But that's really what Cuddy wants?! She created a department, just for him, and now she's actually serious about wanting him gone?" Cameron asked, clearly shocked.

Wilson ran a hand over his face. "I can't speak for Cuddy. All I know is that was her condition to carrying the pregnancy to term. House took the deal."

"How…how is House doing?" she asked in concern.

"Look, I told you more than he'd have wanted me to. I really can't betray any more of his confidences. If you want to know, you'll have to ask him," Wilson said then.

She nodded, glancing around the office briefly before getting to her feet.

"You can't tell anyone, Cameron," he repeated his earlier condition. "I know House didn't tell you but Cuddy doesn't need any reason to get out of this agreement. House is waiting for the sky to fall as it is."

"I won't," she reassured. "I won't tell."

Wilson nodded, accepting her words. Getting to his feet, he walked to the door and opened it for her, thinking House was going to kill him when he found out.

* * *

House was walking down the hall towards his office with his team. He glanced up and saw Cameron leaving Wilson's office and in the second that their eyes made contact he knew that she knew. "I'll be right back," he muttered to his team, walking off without notice and leaving them standing there staring after him until Foreman rolled his eyes and opened the door for Thirteen and Taub to enter the conference room.

Catching up to Cameron he caught her arm and glanced at Wilson before muttering, "Cameron, whatever you know, it can't go any farther than the three of us."

She nodded without hesitation. "I'm not going to say anything to anyone," she promised.

"Not even to Chase," House said firmly.

"I understand," Cameron agreed, nodding.

He released her then and she paused but finally turned and made her way to the elevator. House watched her go before shooting a dirty look Wilson's way. He shrugged helplessly, his eyes communicating that he hadn't meant for her to find out anything.

House shook his head but said nothing, turning and heading back to the conference room to get back to the team.

Wilson watched him go until the conference room door closed behind him. Then he sighed and headed back in his office, knowing he only had ten minutes now until his next patient showed up.

* * *

Late April, 2010

Cuddy sat at home after putting Rachel to bed, working her way through paperwork regarding budget cuts and new policies that had been instated at last week's board meeting. She twisted her engagement ring unconsciously on her finger and when she caught herself she cringed, the ever-constant ache rippling through her chest cavity where her heart should have been. Month after month had passed without any word from Lucas. She knew now that she was actually being forced to keep this pregnancy that her chances of EVER getting Lucas back had dwindled down to nothing, but she just couldn't force herself to remove the ring because she knew if she did it would mean admitting to herself that short of a job she currently had no drive to do and a daughter she just couldn't connect with like she once had, she had nothing, absolutely nothing left in her life that she cared anything about. In leaving her Lucas had become larger than life and she just couldn't comprehend how she was to live the rest of her life without him. She had never thought she'd end up one of those women who couldn't live without a man in their lives, but then, this wasn't just any man she wanted. It was the only man who had ever truly convinced her that marital bliss was within reach. And so the ring remained and the lies built up as she tried to convince everyone, along with herself, that Lucas was involved in this pregnancy and her wedding, still in the works.

As much as Cuddy's life had fallen apart and as deep as her feelings of resentment and frustration were, there was one side-effect of pregnancy that she would have given anything to possess and that was a diminishment in the area of sexual appetite. She seriously didn't think she could take it much longer. If anything, her appetite had grown and it was getting to the point of being unbearable. It had never been lacking in the first place, though opportunity had been hit and miss over the years. She'd given up all hopes of miscarrying, believing that God hated her and wanted to watch her suffer, or else He would have released her from this burden weeks ago. She had to figure out how she was going to handle this or she would go crazy before her nine months of suffering came to an end. Frankly, she needed that channel to get rid of some of the tension that had been building within her. And she was going to get it. She just needed to decide how. Her mouth set in a firm line as she came to a decision. This was as much House's problem as it was hers. If he hadn't gotten her pregnant…

* * *

House was at home watching the WWF, trying to relax after a sleepless night due to his insomnia and the fact that his current patient was clearly dying despite his own inability to riddle out the cause. A knock sounded at the door and he got to his feet, pulling a twenty from his wallet to pay the pizza delivery guy with. Yet when he opened the door it was to find Cuddy standing there.

Wordlessly, he stepped aside and allowed her entry, shutting the door before aiming the remote in his hand at the TV to mute it. Finally he turned to look at her, unsure as to what he should say and more than willing to give her first opportunity to speak.

"My second ultrasound is two weeks away. You need to be there," she told him without inflection.

He nodded but when she made no move to leave he asked, "Was that all?"

"I want a key to your apartment," Cuddy said then, her chin coming up.

"Why?" House asked, caught off guard by the demand.

Getting straight to her reason for coming over she stated, "I need to have sex."

The thought that he was either hallucinating or that he had actually fallen asleep and was now dreaming briefly occurred to House as he stood there, gaping at her. Shaking himself, his eyes narrowed before he managed to say, "Come again?"

Cuddy glared at him for making her repeat herself. "I need to have sex."

"Well I need to…" he began, but she cut him off, uninterested in whatever sarcastic remark he was about to shoot her way.

"No! You did this to me. You got me pregnant. You're to blame for the fact that I'm constantly under a barrage of hormones," she declared hotly, her fists balling up in the sides of her skirt.

House lifted an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one involved in that," he muttered pointedly.

Cuddy ignored his comment. "You've got two choices," she bit out. "Either you have sex with me or I go find someone else who will. And believe me when I tell you, right now I am not picky about who it is."

He stared at her in horrified disbelief. After a minute of silence he inquired, "Okay, you're… You need to have sex. Isn't there a third option where you take care of that yourself without…involving someone else?"

"Not an option," she negated, shaking her head, her lips set in a thin line.

House rolled his eyes and turned away from her. He liked sex as much as the next guy. In fact, more than the next guy. But he wasn't quite sure he wanted to go down this road because he had a bad feeling it ended with a slippery slope and a long fall over a cliff above sharp rocks. "Why would you even come to me with this, Cuddy?" he asked wryly.

"YOU'RE the one who made me sign a document saying I would avoid risky behavior until this…nightmare ended! If you don't have any objections to me screwing the first guy I find, that works for me. I just want you to be aware of my intentions if you turn me down," Cuddy testily declared.

House sighed and raked a hand through his hair. The last thing he needed to be worrying about was Cuddy having unprotected sex with the first guy with two legs that came along, baby or no baby. He could do this, he decided. He could have sex with her if it meant keeping her from self-destructing. "How often are we talking about?" he asked quietly, his voice weary.

"As often as I want," she angrily asserted.

House looked down at his feet but then pursed his lips and nodded almost imperceptibly. He walked back to the door and opened it, taking his spare key from its hiding place. Shutting the door, he turned and walked back to her, the key resting in his outstretched hand.

But when she reached to take it House closed his fist around the key, having noticed the ring on her finger. Cuddy's jaw clenched as she looked at him, just barely containing her fury. "Take it off," he muttered.

"Take WHAT off?!" she demanded to know, her eyes turning to ice.

"Take the ring off, Cuddy. I'm not having sex with you while you are still wearing that ring," he evenly stated.

Cuddy dropped her hands to her side, her fists clenching once more. She bit back a scream and turned to stalk towards the door but House's next words brought her to a standstill. "I'm giving you what you want. But you have to give me what I want. Even if you were to go find another guy to do this for you, don't you think it would be hard to get him to agree when you have a ring on your finger marking you as unavailable? The only kind of guy that would take you up on your offer would be the worst kind. You can't go risking your life just to get laid. What kind of mother would you be for Rachel if you wound up with AIDS or another life-threatening STD?" House opened his fingers, extending the key in her direction, waiting for her decision.

Without thinking Cuddy wordlessly ripped the ring off her finger, turning around to whip it at his head in her outrage. House ducked and it pinged off the wall behind him before disappearing wherever it landed next. He straightened, his eyes on hers, but she only met them for a moment before she moved back towards him, grabbing the key from his hand. "You get it back to him," Cuddy mutinously declared before she turned and stormed off towards the door.

Upon yanking the door open, she almost walked right into the pizza delivery guy, who jumped aside at the last second to avoid a collision. She didn't bother to apologize, stomping her way down the hallway and out of sight.

The pizza delivery guy watched her go in surprise but then turned to House, his eyes reflecting his bafflement. "$14.38," he said after a lengthy pause, holding the box out for House to take. House gave him the twenty he'd pulled out ten minutes earlier and took the box, watching the guy walk away. Closing the door he set the box down before collapsing on the couch.

* * *

Cuddy climbed into her car and only then did she break down, sobbing hysterically. She couldn't believe she'd taken the ring off and entrusted it to House, of all people. All she wanted was to run back in and plead with him to return it to her so that she could restore it to its proper place. But she knew she wouldn't, doubting that House would honor her request even if she could humiliate herself to the point of begging him for it. The guy she had almost barreled down in the hallway left, climbing into a vehicle two parking spaces down from her; but she sat there in her car, feeling even more shattered by her circumstances. Finally she shakily forced her key into the ignition, bringing the car to life. Five minutes later she backed it up, narrowly avoiding a collision with the car parked alongside the curb behind her, and drove off, barely holding it together.

* * *

One hour later, House stuck the untouched pizza in his fridge before heading back into the hallway to just turn in for the night. Something sparkling caught his eye under the coffee table and he expelled his breath, closing his eyes momentarily before grabbing his cane from where it stood against the wall to reach it under the table and push what he knew was her engagement ring out from under its hiding place. Bending down, he picked it up with his thumb and forefinger, not bothering to even examine it as all he wanted to do was put it somewhere out of sight for the present.

Walking over to his desk, he pulled a drawer out, grabbed an envelope, and scrawled Lucas's name on the front before dropping the ring within. Then he sealed it and shoved it back in the drawer, not doubting that he'd be able to track Lucas down eventually but unsure as to how he'd make the transfer. Rubbing his face in agitation he reached over and hit the light switch. Then he ambled his way down the hallway, falling like dead weight on top of his bed.

* * *

May, 2010

It was 9 p.m., Saturday, May 1st before the day came when House heard a key in the door and looked up to see Cuddy letting herself in. While he had seen her briefly a couple times at work she had made no move to approach him, and frankly, he'd been more than happy to avoid her. The rumor mill had quickly spun round its web, revealing to one person after another that Cuddy's engagement must be off, as her ring was gone and she walked around the hospital with a face that clearly told everyone to mind their own business and not ask questions they'd live to regret. While the nurses and interns all asked one another what they'd heard or knew of the situation, the majority of the doctors kept their mouths closed, preferring to stay out of it and therein, on Cuddy's good side. Cameron and Wilson both noticed, but neither asked House about it, simply because they doubted he'd know anything the way Cuddy avoided him at the hospital.

House didn't say anything when she came in, his attention returning to the magazine article he was reading until Cuddy entered the living room, setting a sleeping Rachel down on the couch. He looked at the baby in surprise and then met Cuddy's eyes, a question clearly echoed across his face.

"It's Saturday. No nanny. She just fell asleep. She'll be fine," she said haughtily, before breaking eye contact and mumbling, "I'll be in your bedroom."

He watched her walk away, feeling uneasy before focusing his attention on Rachel, who he hadn't seen since Christmas. Her hair was getting really long, a slight wave to it, the shade similar to his own before the gray had set in. He got to his feet, contemplating whether the kid would be safe where she was at. Throwing some pillows on the floor just in case, he then walked into the hallway to retrieve a blanket from the closet to cover her with. Once he was sure that she'd be alright he did his best to shove aside the disturbing feeling that it was wrong to have sex with a kid so close at hand. When he thought he'd worked past it, her head moved to the side, her lips parting as she made a quiet noise, and the doubts started right back up. Shaking his head he figured it was better to just walk away and not think about it.

Heading to his bedroom he began to undo the buttons on his shirt, a frown creasing his face. Despite everything that had happened over the last few months, the idea of having sex with Cuddy continued to appeal to him somehow. He wasn't sure if it was because he still thought she was the sexiest woman he'd ever met, because he hadn't had sex since the night she'd gotten pregnant, or if it was because underneath it all, he hoped somehow and in some way, that they'd be able to make a connection again even through sex and she might decide he was worth trying out a relationship with. Regardless of why, something inside of him wanted this – was looking forward to this. And therefore part of his concern was that he might screw things up yet tonight.

House entered his bedroom and shut the door behind him, removing his shirt in the faint light coming from the lamp beside his bed. Cuddy sat up against the headboard, his sheet covering her, but it was obvious that she was already naked. Pulling his t-shirt over his head, he tossed it aside and then undid his pants, stepping out of them a moment later. He looked her way but her attention was elsewhere. When he sat down on the bed, she reached over and hit the light before allowing him to pull the sheet away from her, crawling across the bed to meet him.

House's hands crawled across her skin, touching her everywhere he could reach as she swung a leg over to straddle him. The only place he wasn't touching was her belly, whose swell rested lightly against his own. House caught her face in his hands and drew her to him, catching her lips in the darkness, pouring everything he had into kissing her in an attempt to show her just how much he still cared for her. She allowed his tongue entrance and battled his fiercely with her own.

Being a doctor, House knew sex wouldn't harm the baby. Nevertheless, he was hesitant to make that move. It was Cuddy who guided him inside her, Cuddy who moved up and down until the tempo increased and they were both panting heavily, Cuddy who took his hands off her breasts to settle them on her hips and urge him to pull her into him each time she moved away.

Cuddy had been so indifferent to him for so long. Or maybe it would be more accurate to say she'd detested him for so long. Now he finally felt like she was responding; to his kiss, his touch, his raging passion for her and her alone. House couldn't help himself but murmur words in her ear, telling her how beautiful she was, how much he desired her, how no one else could compare. He felt her orgasm approach but determined that he would hold out, letting her slip over the brink once alone before joining her a second time. He watched her, pressing another hungry kiss to her mouth as he observed how her eyes were screwed shut, her face reflecting her pleasure and the intensity of what she was feeling in what they were doing.

But when she tumbled over the edge everything came to a stop for House. Because it wasn't his name on her lips when she moaned out her fulfillment, but Lucas's. He stilled, staring at her in horror. When her eyes opened a minute later she barely cast a glance at his face before climbing off him, rolling to the side and away from him. He watched her as she left the bed and began to dress, not half so upset that she was leaving him hanging not having reached completion himself, as he was that she had just called out Lucas's name, apparently thinking of him the whole time she'd been having sex with House. A couple minutes later he watched her open the bedroom door and step out, closing it behind her, and he knew then that by agreeing to her demand, he'd only increased his own personal hell. If he thought the intimacy of sex was going to save them, restoring them to what they'd once had together all those years ago and granting them a second lease on life, he'd just woken up to his reality. And the past and the present could not contrast more.

-----

"**_Baby, what are we becoming?  
It feels just like we're always running  
Rollin' through the motions every day  
I could lean in to hold you  
Or act like I don't even know you  
Seems like you could care less either way  
What happened to that girl I used to know?  
I just want_** **_us back to the way we were before_**

**_Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you, baby?  
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy?  
Do I have your love, am I still enough?  
Tell me don't I, or tell me do I, baby_**

**_Give you everything that you ever wanted  
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely?  
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life?  
Baby, do I?_**

**_Remember when we didn't have nothin'  
But a perfect, simple kind of lovin'  
Baby, those sure were the days  
There was a time our love ran wild and free  
But now I'm second guessing everything I see_**

**_Do I turn you on at all when I kiss you, baby?  
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy?  
Do I have your love, am I still enough?  
Tell me don't I, or tell me do I, baby_**

**_Give you everything that you ever wanted  
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely?  
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life?  
Baby, do I  
Still give you what you need  
Still take your breath away  
Light up a spark way down deep  
Baby, do I?_**

**_Oh, do I turn you on at all when I kiss you, baby?  
Does the sight of me wanting you drive you crazy?  
Do I have your love, am I still enough?  
Tell me don't I, or tell me do I, baby_**

**_Give you everything that you ever wanted  
Would you rather just turn away and leave me lonely?  
Do I just need to give up and get on with my life?  
Tell me baby, do I get one more try  
Do I?  
Baby, do I?"_**

* * *

Song: "Do I?" (Luke Bryan)


	21. Haven't Met You Yet

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Things always get worse before they get better. And in this story...they get worse and worse and worse. Wait til tomorrow's chapter. :( Again, THANKS for the reviews!)_

* * *

Mid-May 2010

House stood outside the doctor's office waiting to be called in for the morphological scan. He wasn't sure whether or not the doctor intended to do a pelvic exam first, but that wasn't why he was remaining outside. No, the reason he had said he'd wait in the hall was because he didn't want to be present to hear what Cuddy said if there was any inquiry made into whether or not they were having sex. The truth was Cuddy had come to him three times since the first time a week and a half ago. He'd gone through with it but after the second time, when he touched her belly in the middle of her orgasm, she'd come up with ground rules, establishing that she'd do all the work but he was only allowed to hold her by her hips, not touching anywhere else. She also forbid him from kissing her, which he assumed was due to the fact that caressing her belly had disrupted her little façade that he was Lucas. House didn't mind that condition so much as it wasn't as enjoyable to kiss her when he had to question if she even knew who it was whose lips were against hers and whose tongue was sweeping inside her mouth. But it did annoy him that she was in control and he was…not.

At that moment the doctor opened the door, motioning for him to step inside. Cuddy was up on the table ready for the exam, but before the doctor reached for the transducer she held up a hand to stop him.

Both House and Dr. Amundsen turned to look at her, waiting for her to say what she wanted to.

"Dr. Amundsen, before you begin I need to make something clear. You are under the assumption that I want to be pregnant. I want to clear that up today. I do not want to be pregnant. I have no intention of being involved at all once I give birth. The only reason I am here at all is because Dr. House has convinced me to carry this pregnancy to term. However, once I give birth, it's all him," she concluded, her teeth clenching together as she waited for a response.

The doctor looked at House in bewilderment before returning his attention to Cuddy's face, trying to determine if she was serious or just trying to take him for a ride. When she said nothing he looked back at House, searching his expression for answers.

House met his gaze, looking away only briefly before returning his eyes to the doctor. "She doesn't want the baby. I do," he murmured quietly.

The doctor exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose before looking back at Cuddy. "Okay," he replied, acknowledging that he understood what she'd said.

Cuddy brought her head down in assent before saying, "Then I want to sign whatever forms you need from me to allow you to communicate directly with House regarding any concerns you have about the…pregnancy. And anything you see on the ultrasound today, you have to wait until after I leave to discuss with him."

House looked down at his feet, something in his chest clenching at her apathy.

The doctor just nodded, reaching for the transducer then. "Shall we get started?" he asked, his tone serious to suit the somber mood that had descended upon the exam room.

Cuddy nodded and turned her head away from the screen so as to not see anything that would make this more real than it had to be, while House released the breath he'd been holding to look from the doctor to the screen, somewhat resentful that Cuddy had ruined the moment with her speech.

Dr. Amundsen shook his head before setting the transducer on Cuddy's belly. "Do you want to know the sex?" he asked House quietly, wanting this established before he moved the wand about.

Cuddy stiffened immediately, which both men caught.

"If you want to know I'll just focus the wand on that part of the anatomy," the doctor quickly amended.

House thought about it for half a second before nodding almost imperceptibly. Dr. Amundsen instantly began the ultrasound, searching for the best spot on Cuddy's belly to get a good picture.

* * *

After Cuddy signed the necessary paperwork and left the doctor's office, House went back inside, sinking into the chair beside Dr. Amundsen as he made final notations on the file. He exhaled heavily before setting the pen aside to look at House. Scratching the back of his head he said, "Okay, I don't really understand what is going on, but she signed paperwork that allows me to talk with you regarding the pregnancy and I am going to interpret that to include anything involved with the pregnancy. That… is not the Dr. Cuddy I remember. The one I know wanted a baby of her own; was willing to try IVF several times in order to achieve what she wanted. I get that she has a daughter now but what I don't understand is why she doesn't want another one."

House chuckled mirthlessly before nodding. "Cuddy, uh… was in a relationship. It fell apart. What happened between us… was a one-night stand; a mistake she didn't plan for and had no intention of repeating afterwards. She… still wants the other man. But he's out of the picture, at least for the present. She views this pregnancy as an impediment to what she wants, whether or not that is logical. I think…" House frowned. "I would say from her behavior over the last few months that there are some issues with depression. It would probably be a good idea to keep an eye on her."

Dr. Amundsen nodded. "Well, the baby's looking great. As I said during the exam, I'm estimating a due date of September 22nd. At twenty one weeks, the baby's healthy, active, developing right on schedule and contentedly sucking her thumb in there. Her heart is in great shape, as well as her kidneys; she's got all her fingers and toes and everything is where it's supposed to be. I'm not concerned about anything inside the womb. However," he qualified, "outside the womb what I've learned today sends up some red flags and I AM concerned about what the remainder of this pregnancy will look like, given how Dr. Cuddy seems to be handling things. And that concern is not just for the baby but for my main patient as well."

"I am too," House murmured quietly, looking at his folded hands while nodding. "I am too."

* * *

Later That Night

House heard a key in the door and quickly shoved what he had in his hand under the nearest cushion, patting it down afterwards to obscure the bulky object.

Wilson entered at the same time and looked at him skeptically. "What did you just shove under that pillow?" he asked, his voice laced with suspicion.

House sighed in relief. "Nothing," he said, brushing it off as he got to his feet. But Wilson's presence and the fact that he'd just used his spare key to let himself in to House's apartment reminded him that he had to do something about that in order to keep his secrets, secret. The thought that Cuddy could turn up at any time raising questions for Wilson that House didn't want to answer, prompted him to suggest they hit the road for a few hours. "You want to go out and grab a bite to eat?"

Wilson looked at the couch a moment but then nodded. "Sounds good."

When House walked into the hallway to grab his motorcycle jacket, Wilson stepped over to the couch, moving the cushion to the side.

House sighed in exasperation. "Relax. I'm not hiding anything. No Vicodin. No alcohol."

Wilson lifted up the book for House to see, his head tilting dramatically to the side as he raised an eyebrow. "Frankly, this has me more concerned about you than either of those two discoveries would have made me feel," he joked.

He smiled as if in pain but then groaned out, "It's just a book."

"Yeah. 'The Dude's Guide to Pregnancy,'" Wilson teased. "Seriously, this raises questions in my mind as to who you really are and what you've done with the House I know."

"This kid is my last shot," House mumbled under his breath. "I'd rather do things right to the extent I can from the get go than risk screwing up another relationship."

Wilson sobered, his expression transforming into one of sorrow. "House," he began.

"Forget I said that," House quickly said, half-embarrassed, half-terrified that he was being way too transparent for his own taste, even if Wilson was his best friend. "I didn't say anything."

"House, it's understandable that you'd…"

But he interrupted. "How about Chinese? Chinese sound good?"

Wilson sighed, his shoulders falling in resignation to the fact that House wanted him to pretend he hadn't heard him. "Chinese sounds great," he agreed, setting the book down to follow his buddy out.

House gestured for Wilson to go first and then paused, thinking. "Be right back," he murmured, before slipping back inside to stow the book under his couch. If Cuddy showed up while he was out he'd rather she not stumble upon that. He wasn't sure how it would go over.

* * *

After dinner Wilson talked House into going bowling. They played a few games before House excused himself to head home for the night, at the last minute asking Wilson if he could get his key from him, claiming that he'd forgotten his at home. Wilson removed it from his key ring and tossed it to House, none the wiser regarding the real reason which prompted House to ask for his key back.

He was halfway home when he got a page from the hospital. He rang the number and the nurse immediately transferred him to Cameron who had a patient for him if he was interested. House was. This week had been slow and he'd spent more time in the clinic than he had wanted to. Ringing his team, he asked each of them to meet him in the conference room. Then he hung up, shrugging off the thought that Cuddy might go to his apartment only to find it unoccupied. It was not his job to inform her when he had a case. That fell to someone else. If she didn't find out tonight, she'd find out tomorrow.

* * *

House was in his office reviewing his latest patient's scans with his team the next morning, all of them having pulled all-nighters, when Cuddy walked in. He glanced her way but then ignored her as he often did while he dealt with his team, his attention focusing on Thirteen who had just returned from the Pathology lab.

Apparently his decision to ignore her was not appreciated. Cuddy interrupted Thirteen before she could finish, yelling at House for not informing her that he had a patient, nor seeking her approval for the battery of tests he'd already done.

House didn't even get a chance to reply as Foreman broke through her irate scolding session to point out that they hadn't ran any tests outside of the normal range, for which they were not required to get her authorization. House looked at Foreman in surprise, because out of all his team to rise to his defense, Foreman would have been the last one he'd expect it from. Well, second to last. Taub appeared to be scared of Cuddy.

But Foreman wasn't trying to protect House. He was just pointing out how things were. "Look, if you have personal problems Dr. Cuddy, that's your issue. But don't bring them to work and take them out on us," Foreman added pointedly.

Cuddy glared at him, clearly fuming, but House stepped into her line of vision trying to keep her from blowing her top any more than she already had. He gave his team instructions regarding what he wanted them to do next and then waited for them to slip out before turning to Cuddy, who hadn't yet moved from her spot.

When he was certain that the team was out of hearing range he muttered, "You need to get some control of yourself. There are enough rumors being spread around here as it is. Whatever you are really upset with me about needs to stay out of the office. Because it doesn't help matters for you and if you don't show some restraint, my team is going to become suspicious." House knew Thirteen was the only one of his current ducklings with any interest in the tension between House and Cuddy but it didn't mean that Foreman and Taub wouldn't get dragged into things if Cuddy kept this up.

"Where were you last night?" she demanded to know.

"Keep your voice down," he said, angry now. "If you expect me to be there whenever you show up, you better start calling first. I do have things of my own to do. I don't sit around at home, waiting for you to come over and get your fill of…" House let his statement drop off, frustrated that this was creeping into his life at work. "Either call or deal with it. I got called in. I spent the night here trying to work on this case. End of story. Move on."

Cuddy's jaw clenched and she shook her head, her eyes throwing darts at him. Then she whirled around and stormed out, her heels clacking as she strode off down the hall.

House rolled his eyes, sighing heavily. Things had worsened considerably between them in recent weeks. If House failed to sign in on time, Cuddy wanted to scalp him. If he was even a minute late for clinic duty, Cuddy was there waiting, ready to bawl him out for it. It didn't matter what happened to get him off schedule, even if his reason was perfectly legitimate. The tension between them seemed to be growing. He glanced at the calendar, ticking off the time remaining to her pregnancy. Just under nineteen weeks. Roughly four and a half months. He hoped PPTH would still be standing by then.

* * *

"What was that all about?" Thirteen asked, turning to Foreman when Taub turned off to go check on the patient.

He shrugged, shaking his head. "Who knows and who cares," he glibly pronounced.

Her forehead wrinkled in concentration before she asked, "Do you think House had something to do with her engagement falling through?"

"Anything's possible," he said noncommittally. "But I haven't seen either one of them around the other in the past couple months. If you ask me, whatever House appeared to feel for Cuddy back when he first returned from Mayfield is long gone. So unless this has to do with Cuddy realizing that she actually did enjoy House's attention and now wants it back, I would say Cuddy's fallout with Lucas was something else entirely, having nothing to do with House. But what do I know?" Smiling, he raised his eyebrows pointedly, "Now, can we talk about the patient?"

Thirteen smiled but nodded, following him back into the lab.

* * *

Cameron saw Wilson sitting at a table in the far corner of the cafeteria and carried a tray over to join him.

"Hey," he greeted, glancing up at her as she took a seat. Noticing her face, he said, "What's wrong with you?"

She rolled her eyes before popping the tab on her drink. "I just got bawled out by Cuddy in the ER in front of my interns. It pissed me off." Sighing she added, "But I'll be fine."

"Why'd she yell at you?" Wilson inquired in surprise.

"Apparently she was unhappy that I didn't call her before passing off a patient to House last night," she explained dryly.

He nodded. "Yeah, I overheard she was in his office a little while ago, yelling at him."

Cameron sighed before taking a bite of salad. "She's kind of going off the deep end a lot lately. I mean, at least it's happening with House and okay, now me. We know what's going on and can handle it. But one of these days she's going to yell at the wrong person and then they'll complain to a union rep or human resources or a board member. How's she going to deal with the backlash of that?"

Wilson nodded, agreeing with her. "Cuddy doesn't get much sympathy from me these days, but she is great at her job. Or she was. Maybe once this pregnancy is over, she'll return to normal. For her sake, hopefully people will cut her crap some slack due to the circumstances. I don't know what House thinks of all this but he's got enough on his mind without concerning himself with where Cuddy will be left standing in the aftermath of this disaster."

* * *

End of May, 2010

Cameron was on her way out of the hospital when she ran into House. She fell into step beside him, neither one of them speaking as they made their way to the parking lot. Instead of detouring for her car, she followed him to his motorcycle.

"What's up?" he asked, glancing her way before unbuckling his helmet from where it hung.

She looked at her feet, sighed, and then met his eyes. "I need to tell Chase."

He looked at her, his mouth pursing in frustration. "Why?" he asked, climbing on the bike with his helmet in his hands.

"He says I'm unhappy lately and he's worried that it has something to do with him," Cameron explained, her expression apologetic. "I finally admitted that it had nothing to do with him, but when I told him I couldn't share, he grew upset with me. He said we shouldn't be keeping secrets from each other; especially the kind that affect us to the extent that the other person suffers for it. Chase isn't…taking this too well. And to be honest, I could stand a confidante. Cuddy's been taking her anger out on me and it's beginning to affect my work, in addition to my personal life. Maybe if I could share with him, it'd make it easier to take. He's my husband. It sucks to not feel free to be honest when I've had a crappy day and my boss has been riding me."

"Does Cuddy know you know?" House asked in concern.

"I don't think so. I think she just knows that… well, I used to have feelings for you," she replied, somewhat embarrassed. "I imagine she thinks no matter what is going on between you two, it's a given that I'm going to end up on your side of the dividing line."

House nodded. "Fine. I don't have to like it. Nor am I encouraging you to spill my secrets. But do what you have to do. Just make sure he understands that it can't go any farther than the two of you."

Cameron nodded as House put his helmet on, turning the key in the ignition and bringing the motorcycle to life. She took a step back as he shot out of the parking space, watching him until he turned the corner and out of sight. She sighed, sweeping her hair off her forehead before moving in the direction of her car to head home and tell her husband what he wanted to know.

* * *

Wilson stopped in House's office the next day to ask him if he wanted to go out and grab a burger during their lunch break. House nodded, stopping briefly in the lab to check on his team and tell them he'd be available by cell phone if they needed him. Then he headed for the elevator to meet Wilson in the lobby.

Chase got in at the second floor and House nodded in greeting, not saying anything because there were others present. When the doors opened to the lobby, Chase clapped him on the back, squeezing his shoulder before heading off in the direction of the clinic to do his hours. House met Wilson at the door and the two walked to Wilson's car, climbing in to drive partway into town.

"I was in the clinic earlier when Cuddy stepped in. A nurse asked her if she knew what she was having and she told her that she had asked the doctor to keep it a secret. But it got me thinking. You mentioned you went to her second ultrasound. Do you know whether you are going to have a son or a daughter?"

House nodded, vaguely surprised that he hadn't told Wilson already. "A daughter," he replied, a smile flickering over his face.

Wilson returned the smile before asking, "Did you have a preference?"

"Not really," House said, shrugging. "A boy might have been easier but it isn't exactly as if I had the best role model for how to father a son. A girl means melodrama, but melodrama I can do. Thankfully, I don't have to jump right into the teen years. If I did, I'd take a boy any day."

Wilson chuckled, shaking his head. "I can just see it now. You'll have a little daddy's girl who wears pink tutus and carries a wand twenty-four/seven and who has you wrapped around her finger. I'll come over with a six-pack of beer and a pizza to find you wearing makeup and earrings, sipping tea at a child's table surrounded by dolls and teddy bears," he concluded, smirking, clearly amused by the image in his mind.

House shot him a dirty look before quipping, "Not a chance! You'll come over and we'll be having a spitting contest in the front yard in our motorcycle jackets and bad-ass bandanas. Though she will have a tattoo on her shoulder that says 'Don't mess with my old man' in black and red letters. I'll give you that much."

"Great," Wilson replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "And her name will be something gender neutral."

"Either that or someone's last name," he retorted.

Wilson shook his head, thinking he might have to intercede come September, if only for the kid's sake.

But House was lost in thought, staring out the window as he contemplated this "last chance" of his. He wasn't going to screw it up. At least, not irreparably. Maybe a relationship with Cuddy was doomed from the start. Despite how much he might genuinely love her. But when one had a kid… That changed things. It had to. The commitment was different. Or maybe one just couldn't be as selfish. No, when his kid arrived, he'd put his all into not messing it up. This kid was gonna change him. Being a dad was gonna change him. House smiled, seeing a glimmer of hope in a blurry situation.

-----

"_**I'm not surprised, not everything lasts**_

_**I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track**_

_**Talked myself in, I talked myself out**_

_**I get all worked up, then I let myself down**_

_**I tried so very hard not to lose it**_

_**I came up with a million excuses**_

_**I thought I'd thought of every possibility**_

_**And I know someday that it will all turn out**_

_**And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out**_

_**And I promise you kid that I'll give so much more than I get, mmm**_

_**I just haven't met you yet**_

_**I might have to wait, I'll never give up**_

_**I guess it's half timing and the other half's luck**_

_**Wherever you are, whenever it's right**_

_**You'll come out of nowhere and into my life**_

_**And I know that we can be so amazing**_

_**And baby, your love is gonna change me**_

_**And now I can't see every possibility, mmm**_

_**But somehow I know that it will all turn out**_

_**And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out**_

_**And I promise you kid, I'll give so much more than I get, mmm**_

_**I just haven't met you yet**_

_**They say all's fair in love and war**_

_**But I won't need to fight it, we'll get it right and**_

_**We'll be united**_

_**And I know that we can be so amazing**_

_**And being in your life is gonna change me**_

_**And now I can't see every single possibility, mmm**_

_**And someday I know it'll all turn out**_

_**And I'll work to work it out**_

_**Promise you kid I'll give more than I get**_

_**Than I get, than I get, than I get**_

_**Oh you know it'll all work out**_

_**And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out**_

_**And I promise you kid to give so much more than I get, yeah**_

_**I just haven't met you yet**_

_**I just haven't met you yet**_

_**Oh I promise you kid to give so much more than I get**_

_**(I said, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love) (I just haven't met you yet)**_

_**(Love, love, love, love, love, love)**_

_**I just haven't met you yet"**_

* * *

Song: "Haven't Met You Yet" (Michael Bublé)


	22. Cold As You

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I was wrong. This chapter isn't half as hard to read as next's will be. Still, it's bad enough. Oh Cuddy...sigh.)_

* * *

June, 2010

It was 2 p.m. and House sat in his office with the door to the balcony propped open, allowing the fresh air to blow in as he savored victory. This past week he'd had the most challenging case he'd ever come across. He had been convinced that his patient would die without them ever figuring out what was wrong, quite possibly not even solving it after the patient's impending death at autopsy. Even his team had given up hope, forcing him to prod them onward constantly to do everything in their power to find a symptom that could explain his rapid degeneration. They had performed every test he'd suggested, every procedure that had even the slightest possibility of clearing up the mystery of the patient's disease. And finally, House had been struck with a lightning bolt of clairvoyance, illuminating the problem with startling lucidity. Yes, nothing could ruin this day for him. He smiled broadly and reclined back in his seat, his hands up behind his head as he enjoyed the genius that made him who he was.

"Well somebody's in a good mood," Cameron commented from her position in the doorway as she studied him, clearly amused.

"I am just that good," House smugly bragged.

Cameron rolled her eyes but she was smiling as she leaned against the doorframe, her arms crossed over her chest. "So I heard. Congratulations."

"And to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?" House sarcastically quipped.

She bit her lip in response, straightening only to slip inside the room and close the door behind her. "Actually, I saw Cuddy's assistant drop off your patient's file on Cuddy's desk and twenty minutes later, when I stopped to drop something off at the front desk I overheard Cuddy going off on Taub, wanting to know who authorized the last procedure your team performed."

House looked at her for a moment and finally said, "There wasn't time to get authorization. It needed to happen right then or we might not have been able to stop the progression from advancing and killing him."

"That's basically what Taub told her but she was having none of it," Cameron replied.

"Cuddy's not going to ruin my day," he told her breezily, his hands coming down from behind his head as he leaned forward in his chair. "And the patient's fine, so she's going to have to just deal with it. I was right to have my team do what they did. If that's a problem for her, tough."

"I'm just saying, it might not be such a bad idea to get out of here while you can," she said pointedly. "Your case is closed. Do what you always do and get out while the getting's good."

"Too late," he quietly replied, his gaze focused now over her shoulder. "Thanks for the warning though."

Cameron sighed and turned around, slipping out the door once Cuddy herself barged in. Cuddy didn't even spare her a glance, her attention fastening on House.

He watched Cameron look back in a moment, noting the concern on her face before she walked away. But she didn't head in the direction of the elevator and he knew immediately where she was going. He sighed before focusing on Cuddy who was silently fuming before him.

For a moment he thought about how sexy she looked, standing there with her chest heaving, her eyes stormy with the fury of her anger, her belly swelling with life that he'd been a part of creating. It didn't matter that she was now wearing maternity clothes and that she'd set aside low-cut tops for the present. She was still smokin' hot. Then he remembered everything else and the momentary desire to take her right then and there passed. "Cuddy," he finally said, nodding nonchalantly.

* * *

Wilson's door was open so Cameron didn't bother to knock, stepping right in and closing it behind her.

He looked up at her from his paperwork. "Hey. What's up?"

"Just here for the fireworks," she replied, sighing in resignation as she leaned back against the closed door.

His eyebrows rose in confusion. "What?" he asked, not understanding what she was talking about.

"House solved his case," she began, her serious expression a contrast to the tone of her voice.

"Really?! But he told me just this morning that they were stumped and running out of time," Wilson said, pleased for his buddy. "That's great."

Cameron smiled in response to Wilson's reaction. "You should have seen the look on his face when I went to see him a few minutes ago. I haven't seen him so proud of himself in months. It was like seeing a little of the House we used to know. Like everything was right with the world again."

He chuckled. "So it's back to dealing with a smug House?"

She paused a moment, her face growing serious as she turned her head to listen to the silence before the storm that was about to issue forth from next door.

"Why do I get the feeling that you don't think it will last for longer than the next five minutes?" Wilson asked next, watching her and trying to read her expression.

"Because it won't," she replied at length, her eyes going back to him just as the silence was broken and Cuddy's piercing tone came through the walls, putting an end to their conversation.

* * *

"Don't you say my name like that," she muttered through clenched teeth.

House laughed, scoffing at her statement in disbelief. "Like what? I said your name like I always say it."

"This is MY hospital and you are MY employee. You will show me some respect," she hissed, eyes flashing.

There was a brief moment when House knew it was better to just let it go and drop it, not giving her the fight he knew she wanted, more than aware that this was ridiculous and that Cuddy was obviously not at her best, whatever her best was these days. But something inside him wanted to push her buttons, wanted to make her mad, wanted to feel something towards her besides the growing numbness he had begun to feel whenever she was around. "What would you like me to call you then? _Dr._ Cuddy? Shall I call you that in bed too?" he calmly asked, a smile still playing at the corners of his mouth.

"You bastard!" she shouted, rapidly making her way across the room until only his desk was between them. House sat straighter, his eyes narrowing.

"No need for name calling," he replied without emotion, an eyebrow raised however, as if in challenge.

"You had NO business performing ANY procedures without my knowledge," Cuddy yelled, spurred on by how he just sat there and looked at her. She had no intention of letting him bait her into airing dirty laundry in front of the whole hospital but she was too far gone to lower her voice now.

"The patient's fine," he quietly replied. "He's going to survive AND he's going to survive BECAUSE I didn't waste time running to you before doing what had to be done."

"I don't care if the patient is going to live to be one hundred! You WILL come to me for approval before each and every move you make with a patient in this hospital from here on out!" she bitterly threw back at him.

"Come on. Neither of us have time for that. Fine, you want me to get your approval on procedures first. I get it. But don't be unreasonable, Cuddy," House said as he changed tactics, trying to be rational with her now so as to avoid what would surely be impossible working conditions shortly if she had her way.

Cuddy turned and walked to the door, opening it before declaring, "You know what? This is what happens when you return to work after being institutionalized. You make bad choices and force me to babysit you from then on."

House stared at her in shock, which quickly turned into outrage when he noticed several people had come to a stop in the hallway outside, looking back and forth between the two of them. House couldn't believe she would play that card, let alone do so with witnesses present to overhear her. He pushed his chair back and got to his feet, wanting nothing more than to wipe away the look on Cuddy's face as she stared at him, her chin up defiantly.

He seethed for a moment, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. Turning the tables on her and pointing out her issues publically would not help him though. He needed to just deal with the damage she'd done in saying what she had. "There is nothing wrong with me," House muttered, hanging on by a thread. "So what? I had to get help for an addiction. I did. I came back. I got my job and my medical license back. There's nothing wrong with me right now. And you don't get to throw the past in my face. This was not a bad choice. This was a decision I only had a moment to make. If you don't like it, tough. Deal with it."

* * *

"Crap," Wilson muttered, pushing himself to his feet when he overheard Cuddy call House a bastard through the paper-thin walls.

"Wait," Cameron said, taking a step towards him and placing her hand on his arm as Wilson came around his desk to head for the door. "Give House a chance to handle this on his own," she advised.

"House is the last person who should be handling this on his own right now," he muttered gravely, opening the door and meeting her eyes as they both heard Cuddy lash out at him regarding his patient and failing to get authorization.

Cameron blinked, sighing after a moment, but murmured, "He'll resent interference. As long as she keeps this work-related, let him deal with it. If she gets personal, I'd be the first person to tell you to…"

She was interrupted by the sound of Cuddy's voice in the hallway right outside. "You know what? This is what happens when you return to work after being institutionalized. You make bad choices and force me to babysit you from then on."

Cameron's eyes widened in a mixture of shock and disbelief as she watched Wilson's jaw clench in obvious anger. He shrugged her arm off then, yanking the door wide open, and Cameron followed hesitantly. While House's voice was more subdued than Cuddy's had been, she heard his response nevertheless. "There is nothing wrong with me. "So what? I had to get help for an addiction. I did. I came back. I got my job and my medical license back. There's nothing wrong with me right now. And you don't get to throw the past in my face. This was not a bad choice. This was a decision I only had a moment to make. If you don't like it, tough. Deal with it."

Wilson crossed the last few yards, glaring at anyone in the hall who dared make eye contact with him, causing several people to stop standing there watching the fight and scurry off to do their jobs. He stepped to House's side, ignoring the look House shot his way as his eyes fell on Cuddy. "I think you need to get back to work, Dr. Cuddy. Someone, somewhere, needs you."

She glared at Wilson, clearly ready to go to battle with him as well.

"You had no right to say what you did. Not in front of other staff members. You're out of line. House didn't do anything he hasn't done a thousand times before. This ends here. If you still have a problem with him, take it to the board," Wilson concluded, his eyes locked with hers as he spoke quietly enough that only House and Cuddy could hear him.

"I don't need you to come to my defense, Wilson," House muttered in irritation.

He didn't even bother looking his friend's way, his intense gaze focused on Cuddy. "You're Dean of Medicine, Dr. Cuddy. If you want to keep being Dean of Medicine, the verbal abuse has to stop right now."

She broke Wilson's gaze, her mouth tightening as she turned and walked towards the elevator. House and Wilson watched Cuddy go, neither noticing as Cameron silently crept off too, not wanting House to lash out on her if he was angry that she'd brought Wilson into this.

Finally House turned and went back into his office, knowing Wilson would follow. "I was handling it," he muttered after he heard the door close.

"You're welcome, House. No problem. Anytime," Wilson quipped in annoyance.

"Hey, I'm not thanking you. It wasn't any of your business," he replied heatedly, sinking into his chair and shooting a dark glance Wilson's way.

"It's getting out of hand, House," Wilson said then. "This can't continue. She's spiraling out of control."

"Cuddy is doing the best she can," he murmured, raking a hand over his face. "And seriously, verbal abuse? I've said things much worse to her in the past."

Wilson looked at him in disbelief. "Are you…defending her?!"

House sighed, annoyed with himself for saying anything at all. "Look, the woman's depressed. Things aren't…the way she'd like them to be. She's obviously struggling. But for the most part, she keeps it together at work. So what if I irritate her from time to time to the point that her control slips for a moment? I can handle it. I'm a big boy."

"House," Wilson began, shaking his head. "If this goes on indefinitely, it won't just affect the two of you anymore. It's already affecting Cameron and I."

"Well, I didn't ASK you guys to get involved!" House bit out defensively. "And it won't go on indefinitely. I told you I'm leaving PPTH as soon as the baby is born."

"Okay, fine," Wilson mumbled, his hands up as if to calm House down. "You're right. You'll survive this. And I know you didn't invite Cameron and I to get involved. But we care about you House and we're concerned."

"Well, turn off the concern because I'm a grown man who can take care of himself," he instructed, looking away.

Wilson sighed before informing him, "Cuddy lashed out at Taub today as well. Who next? You and I both know that if she branches out much farther, someone's going to bring it to the board. Then what?"

"Alright, fine. I'll talk to her. Or…something," he choked out, somewhat hostile by where this was going.

"And what about Rachel?" Wilson asked quietly, bringing up something that had been bothering him for some time.

House looked back at him in confusion. "What about her?"

"If Cuddy's a wreck at work, how do you know she's managing to hold it together at home?" he asked pointedly, tilting his head at an angle.

House rolled his eyes. "Rachel's fine, Wilson. She's got nannies whose job it is to worry about her."

"But nannies go home," he argued. "And then Cuddy has to be the one to step up to the plate. How do you know she's capable of being a mother to the kid she already has, when she's losing her grip being pregnant to a kid she doesn't want?"

"You and I both know Rachel's the chosen one. Cuddy wanted her from the start. This one…she didn't," he finished, hating that he was allowing Wilson to drag him into such an admission. He had no issue whatsoever with Rachel. He was just stating the truth.

"But you don't know that she's taking care of Rachel and you can't just assume that, House," Wilson stressed, genuinely concerned and wanting to be taken seriously. "It would be irresponsible for either of us to not make sure somehow."

House sighed, wishing he HAD run for it the minute Cameron came in to warn him so that he could avoid everything that had taken place since then. Wilson was like a pit bull with a bone now. There was no way he'd drop the subject until House gave him an answer. He only hoped he could give him an answer that would satisfy without exposing his own sordid secret. "You don't have to worry about Rachel," he reluctantly began. "And I'm not being irresponsible where she's concerned. I'm keeping an eye on her."

"How?" he pressed, somewhat skeptical.

"Cuddy brings her over," he finally mumbled honestly, looking away.

Wilson stared at House, clearly taken aback. When the silence stretched between them without House expanding on his statement voluntarily he asked, "Just what do you mean, Cuddy brings Rachel over?"

He dropped his head into his hands on the desk, groaning. "Let's not talk about this, Wilson," he muttered, not wanting to deal with the knowledge that Wilson would shortly be privy to if the subject didn't drop immediately.

For a split second Wilson thought maybe House was taking care of Rachel, for Cuddy. But at this point, he would basically understand and accept that so House's reaction and clear desire to not talk further nagged at him, for it indicated that it wasn't just embarrassment at stepping up to make sure Rachel was okay but something much more involved that had House reluctant to discuss it. And that meant it had to be something House knew he would have a problem with. Then realization dawned on him and he stepped back in horror. Hoping with everything in him that he was wrong on this one, Wilson demanded, "Please tell me you are not having sex with her."

But House did not move, not even lifting his head to look at Wilson over the ludicrous statement he'd made. And that was an answer in itself, telling Wilson something he didn't have the capacity to know how to deal with.

"So you don't need to worry about Rachel," House finally muttered, his head coming up to briefly probe Wilson's eyes before retreating to some paperwork on the desk before him that suddenly seemed of utmost importance. "I'm keeping an eye on her."

"No," Wilson adamantly pronounced then. "You don't get to redirect the subject like that. Not after laying that burden on my shoulders."

House met his gaze with a steely one of his own. "I'm not laying any burden on your shoulders! I never wanted you to know in the first place! This is my cross to bear. Not yours. I only intended to communicate that Rachel's fine."

"Well thanks for that!" Wilson sarcastically replied. "But right now the last person I'm worried about is Rachel! House! What are you thinking?!"

"I got her pregnant, okay? She's being bombarded with hormones right now. And you've seen her. She NEEDS a way to relieve her stress in everything that's going on. I'm just…helping her do that," he lamely finished.

"Her hormones are her problem, House," Wilson said in disgust. "Who are you? How did she turn you into this…person?!"

"Yeah well she made it my problem when she came to me and told me it was either something I was going to take care of or something she'd find someone else to assist her with," he stated dryly, ignoring his questions as he got to his feet with every intention of going home as soon as he could walk past Wilson and out the door.

"So you're just going to allow her to manipulate you?" Wilson asked, clearly not ready to let the subject go.

"She's not manipulating me, Wilson. She gave me two options and I chose the one I felt was better," he replied, grabbing his coat.

"You seriously decided that meaningless sex with a woman who despises you at the moment was the better option?" he demanded. "We're self-destructing now?"

House rolled his eyes. "It's not like I've never had meaningless sex before," he retorted, taking a step towards the door.

"But it's the first time you've ever prostituted yourself," Wilson muttered under his breath.

House came to a standstill, turning back to face his friend. He was surprised at the strength of his own reaction, because right in that minute all he wanted was to hit Wilson as hard as he could. Wilson must have recognized this because he immediately took a step back.

"I don't need this!" House declared in anger once Wilson was at a safe distance from him. "You're the best friend I have and I need your support right now. Not your judgment! So if you can't just be here for me in this, you know where the door is. Feel free to walk through it."

Wilson stared at him, his shoulders dropping after a moment as he sank down into one of House's chairs. "I'm not trying to judge you. It's just that…I care about you. You're my best friend. And I'm worried about what this is doing to you. I just…want to protect you."

House softened, recognizing Wilson's defeat. "But you can't, Wilson. And this isn't going to last. Even if her hormones were to keep up like they have been, there's a limit to how long pregnancy goes and once she's delivered, I'm out."

"Will you guarantee that?" Wilson asked quietly, wanting to know House would indeed be done with her at some point so that this wouldn't be one more thing weighing on everyone.

"Yes," he replied, nodding.

"Okay," Wilson accepted, getting to his feet.

"You can't talk about this with Cuddy. I don't want her to know you know," House informed him, deadly serious.

"I won't," he acknowledged, turning in the direction of his office while House headed for the elevator, neither of them bothering to say goodbye.

It didn't occur to House until after he made it back to his apartment that he'd failed to instruct Wilson NOT to mention it to Cameron either. But then he spotted Cuddy's car parked out front and that thought was obliterated by the realization that this day, which had morphed from being perfect to being a disaster, might not be at an end just yet.

* * *

House stepped through the door to his apartment and closed it behind him, turning to check out the living room for any signs of Cuddy and Rachel. But neither was in there. He removed his jacket and hung it up before detouring to the kitchen to get a drink, then heading back to his bedroom.

"Leave the lights off," Cuddy told him from where she was awaiting him on his bed.

"Where's Rachel?" he asked, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness.

"Nanny doesn't have to leave until 7 p.m.," was her only reply.

House wasn't quite ready for what they both knew she'd come for, especially after what had happened in his office and then his conversation with Wilson. "Are you hungry?" he asked hesitantly.

"No," she declared, her eyes rolling before she demanded, "Now can we get on with this?"

House sighed and sank down on the bed next to her, wishing things could be different between them. He loved her. He was sure he genuinely did. But they were both miserable in this situation and he didn't know how to make things better for either of them.

Cuddy expelled her breath and reached for him, angrily undoing the buttons on his shirt when he remained immobile, just sitting there.

House watched her, his eyes on her face, trying to figure her out. He was an expert on the difference between sex and intimacy, but not on keeping the two separate where Cuddy was concerned. Yet for her, what they were about to do focused on one thing and one thing only. Everything was about curbing the hormonal storm tide sweeping over her. House didn't know how she could be like that. He thought he knew Cuddy like the back of his hand. But his Cuddy wasn't like that. This one…was. He understood a person just needing release. But to have sex and be cold otherwise? Steadily? Week after week? Apparently Cuddy was much better at compartmentalizing than he was. And he thought that was an area he'd shown remarkable progress in mastering, but not lately. Everything was just so complex for him where Cuddy was concerned.

She pushed his shirt off his shoulders before her eyes briefly made contact with his. House reached out and gently held her chin, not allowing her to break eye contact once she'd established it. "Do you want to talk about today?" he asked her then, needing to offer her the opportunity to discuss it and hoping that she would. All she had to do was make a move and he thought maybe they'd be able to find a way through this together.

Cuddy's expression hardened almost imperceptibly. "This has nothing to do with work and I didn't come here to talk."

House released her chin and reached down to remove his t-shirt himself. "I know you didn't," he finally replied, his voice low, his jaw tightening at how many walls she'd built up between them already and how unlikely it seemed that he'd ever get her to tear them down. He got to his feet to unfasten his pants and remove them along with his boxers, wondering how much longer he'd be able to live like this and whether Wilson was right in what he'd said.

* * *

House watched Cuddy leave his bed and begin to get dressed, his eyes on her expanding belly. He got to his feet and walked to her but she ignored him until his arms came around her from behind, settling on her stomach.

She stiffened immediately but House had expected nothing less and did not react. His hands stroked over her belly, measuring her circumference. When the baby moved, his hands stilled in the spot, a smile automatically tugging at his lips. It was a new experience for him, since he was not allowed to touch her belly and all.

"What are you doing?" Cuddy asked harshly, wanting nothing more than to demand he remove his hands from her body.

"Did you feel it?" he asked then, his mouth close to her ear.

"House," she stated coldly, "Get your hands off me."

He frowned but released her. "Cuddy, I don't understand you at all," he finally murmured, reaching for his boxers.

"I'm not asking you to," she said flatly, tugging her shirt over her head.

"Is this how it's going to be from now on?" House asked as he turned to face her, suddenly needing to know just how bad things were.

"House, don't. You were the one who brought this upon yourself. You were the one who decided I couldn't take care of this mess my own way," Cuddy muttered in irritation.

He reached for her, turning her around to face him. "Why do you hate this baby so much?" he asked, his eyes boring into her as if he'd be able to read her.

"As far as I'm concerned, there is no baby," she said through clenched teeth, her eyes flashing.

House released her immediately, wanting nothing more than to see her go and have this day be over with.

Cuddy smiled condescendingly before heading for the hallway. "I'm glad we had this little chat," she threw back at him before heading for the front door.

House stood there in the darkness of his bedroom, trying to figure out how he could love someone and hate them so much at the same time.

-----

"**_You have a way of coming easily to me  
And when you take, you take the very best of me  
So I start a fight 'cause I need to feel something  
And you do what you want 'cause I'm not what you wanted_**

**_Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day  
Just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say  
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through  
I've never been anywhere cold as you_**

**_You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray  
And I stood there loving you and wished them all away  
And you come away with a great little story  
Of a mess of a dreamer with the nerve to adore you_**

**_Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day  
So just walk away, ain't no use defending words that you will never say  
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through  
I've never been anywhere cold as you_**

**_You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you  
And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you  
(Died for you)_**

**_Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day  
Oh, every smile you fake is so condescending  
Counting all the scars you made  
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through  
I've never been anywhere cold as you"_**

* * *

Song: "Cold As You" (Taylor Swift)


	23. Demons

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(This is one of the saddest chapters for me, I think. Poor House. Thanks for all your reviews and comments!!!)_

* * *

Two weeks passed and currently House lay on his bed as Cuddy had just left, feeling like he'd never been so broken in all his life. The first month or so of Cuddy's "visits" he'd been able to function. Emotionally, things had been a challenge. (He knew it was becoming more and more obvious to those that worked with him much at all that something was wrong, but up until last week he'd kept his secrets and only Wilson, Cameron, and by extension, Chase, had known anything at all regarding his paternity.) However, physically he'd been able to rise to the occasion. After all, he loved Cuddy and reality was that she was a beautiful, desirable woman. Yet this last week every time he'd heard a key turn in the door his dread had tripled in the span of a second. The simple truth was something he'd admit to no one; he felt used. And as time had passed his desire for Cuddy weaned and had been replaced by the hole she'd left and continued to leave when she walked out the door immediately after, not having spoken to him in the entire time she'd been there with the exception of the conversation he'd forced upon her two weeks before.

Each time that door closed behind her he felt more and more ashamed and…dirty. When did he ever feel dirty when a woman walked out of his apartment following sex? Never. It, frankly, terrified him. He was also worried as his leg was beginning to hurt more and more, causing an intense craving for the fix Vicodin used to offer. So far he'd resisted, but how long could he continue to pull this off?

Over the course of the last week, he had REALLY begun to struggle physically to meet her demands. It had gotten to the point where tonight she'd been so frustrated by his lack of physical responsiveness that she'd not only been rough in her attempts to get his body to react but she had finally reached the point of being so ANGRY that she'd loosened her tongue on him. And despite always hoping she would speak to him, THAT had not been a positive experience. In fact, by the time she was done yelling, he'd wanted to slink away to curl up and die. He'd been completely…humiliated by it. It was as if he had been emasculated completely in a matter of minutes, first by his…issues and then by Cuddy's reaction.

In the end he did something she never allowed him to do since the inception of this arrangement and flipped her over so that she was on her back, using his fingers to bring her to completion. Usually he was not allowed to touch her at all except to grip her hips as she slammed onto him. Everything was about her being in control, on top, and lately, about her making it as rough as she could. Tenderness and affection was a clear no-no. When she left his bed a few minutes later, pulling her clothes back on hastily, she'd shot him a look so full of loathing that he had instantly turned away, unable to face her. He didn't know what he was going to do. He really hoped she'd just quit coming. But her visits had actually increased dramatically in frequency which made him believe her hormones from the pregnancy hadn't peaked yet. He desperately hoped she'd reach that point soon.

He thought back to what Wilson had said and all the prostitutes he'd paid over the years to quench his thirst. Nameless, faceless women. Granted, they'd come willingly enough, considering it a job, but at least they had the luxury to be the ones who walked away after. He didn't even have that. It always happened at his apartment. He HATED coming home now. He HATED his apartment. It had ceased to be a refuge for him and was now the source of his greatest heartaches. Even his piano had lost its attraction.

House regretted having ever given her a key in the first place. At least then he could maybe pretend not to be home once in a while and get out of it on the days when he just couldn't handle it, emotionally or physically. But he assumed she felt used as well in a way, being forced to be his baby's incubator for the duration of her pregnancy, so perhaps using him was only fair.

The one thing he knew for certain now was that he'd never hire a prostitute again. Those days were over. His perspective had changed too drastically due to this nightmare to excuse himself or even engage himself in such behavior. Wilson was right. It had come to the point where he'd basically prostituted himself in exchange for ensuring his unborn child's well-being, to the extent he could. Moreover, he was…fearful that the longer this went on, the less likely he'd ever be of being capable of being with someone else again, intimately. And yet what choice did he have but to continue to risk that?

He thought for the hundredth time of calling Nolan to set up an appointment. He hadn't talked to him since Christmastime, mainly because he knew what Nolan would say about this whole disaster and House knew whatever advice Nolan gave, he would end up discarding. It was easier to stay out of touch. Nolan had called him a few times but House had allowed it to go to voicemail, only shooting back vague e-mails with status updates that left out the whole mess with Cuddy. House told himself once more that he could handle this situation without involving anyone else. This wouldn't last forever. He'd suffered worse. Hadn't he?

* * *

House walked into PPTH the next morning, unable to meet anyone's eyes. He had slept so poorly and had been so drained by thinking about his incapacitated-ness, that he felt like anyone who looked into his eyes would see the extent of the damage he was experiencing and know his shameful secret immediately. He was obviously not the same House that he'd been before Mayfield; not even the same House as after. Sometimes he wondered if he was even House at all.

He was so lost in thought that he didn't hear his name being called until someone latched onto his arm to catch his attention. He instantly jerked away, almost losing his balance in the process but then he snapped out of it and looked up to see Cameron staring at him in concern, her hand out towards him but not touching him now.

"Are you alright?" she asked, clearly worried.

"Sorry. I was just lost in thought. You startled me," he rushed to say. No, he was definitely not House. He didn't know who he was but he knew House would have brushed that off, not apologized and explained.

She looked at him, her brow furrowed, her gaze intense and scrutinizing. "House, what's going on? I mean, beyond what I already know. You aren't yourself lately. Which is perfectly understandable, but…I'm getting really worried about you."

He shook his head forcefully. "Nothing. I was just…distracted. I'm fine, Cameron."

She sighed, not believing him for an instant. "You need to talk to someone, House. If not me at least go to Wilson. I know things are difficult right now but whatever is going on, you need someone."

"I'll be fine, Cameron. I can handle it," he muttered crossly, looking away.

She exhaled once more before deciding she'd said what she could and now needed to change the subject. "Alright. Um…I was trying to catch you before you went to your office. I have a case for you. I think it might catch your interest."

He nodded. He hardly ever turned a case down these days and he rarely made any sort of protest when someone brought one to him. He just didn't have the energy anymore, nor did he want to have to face the consequences of Cuddy then stalking up to his office to yell at him. Plus, he needed the challenge. He needed to feel capable of something right now. "Okay. Someone in the ER?"

"Yeah. If you want to come with me, I'll grab it for you. Otherwise I can bring it up to your office," she offered, her head tilted to the side as she studied him, her eyes searching his.

"I'll come get it," he replied, following her in that direction. He would have liked to escape to his office for a moment and collect himself but he knew from experience that if he didn't get the case on his own, it would take some doing to get her to walk away; especially because in between the moment he went upstairs and the moment she came up with the case she'd have plenty of time to think about their encounter. Once she'd done that, being Cameron she'd have a harder time letting him go without getting details from him. He knew he needed both Cameron and Wilson's support during this time, as much as he loathed that. And he even usually appreciated them; they'd already proven their worth and their faithfulness. Furthermore, he knew that this made him truly idiotic simply because of that truth, but suddenly, he wished she didn't care so much. If she didn't, not letting her in wouldn't be so difficult. And that was Mayfield's fault. Mayfield had ruined him. Mayfield had taught him to confide in people. And with this, he couldn't.

* * *

House went up to his office with the file, dropping it off in the conference room with the team before heading to his office to take a moment to try and pull himself together in order to survive this day and do his job the way he wished he could do it. But when he pulled out his chair behind his desk there was a small bag from the pharmacy on it. He looked at it, puzzled, but finally reached for it to end the mystery. There was a prescription inside; he could tell just from the weight and the rattle it made upon being lifted. Had someone left him Vicodin? He glanced around his office and then at his team in the conference room, circumspectly. If this was Vicodin he wasn't sure he'd be able to resist the temptation. Vicodin had been his downfall before. He thought momentarily of taking it immediately to Wilson just in case he needed someone else to intercede for him, but temptation was calling and so he pulled out the staples keeping it sealed and reached within to pull it out. Flipping it over, he read the prescription label. But it wasn't Vicodin. It was Viagra. He dropped it and then instantly bent down, scrambling for it. He quickly chucked it back in the bag, having seen who had filled it in the process of retrieving it from the floor. Cuddy was listed as the attending physician.

A wave of nausea swept over him and he wretched into the trash can nearby before sinking into his chair, all hopes of pulling himself together obliterated. Thankfully his team did not notice, too busy arguing loudly amongst themselves to hear him. What upset him wasn't so much that this meant Cuddy intended to keep coming to him to fulfill her needs, as he'd still rather it be him than anyone else. It wasn't even the possibility that someone in the pharmacy had seen the prescription, for it was entirely plausible that in the off chance they had, they'd think it was part of some prank war between the two. No, it was that she'd felt that…no, she KNEW that he was increasingly less capable of doing things "on his own" without assistance, and so she'd found a way to equip him to satiate her. If there was a scale for the amount of bitter degradation a person could feel, House had a feeling his standing would be too elevated to even register in the ranges the scale covered. He sat there shaking violently before finally shoving the bag in his desk drawer and getting up hastily to reach the fresh air on his balcony and regroup. The only thing he knew was that for all intents and purposes, his dignity appeared lost forever. And if Cuddy didn't respect him at all before, he doubted now that she ever would again.

He remained out on the balcony until Taub was sent out by Foreman to retrieve him.

* * *

"Come in," Wilson called out, a knock having sounded on his door.

Cameron popped her head in. "Are you busy?"

He instantly read the troubled expression on her face and shook his head. "No. I don't have another appointment for an hour. I'm just making notes on a file."

She nodded and pushed the door open wide enough to enter before closing it firmly behind her. She sighed and sank into a chair. "I think we have a problem, but I don't know what it is," she finally said, her tone revealing the extent of her uncertainty.

"House?" he asked then, frowning in concern. He hadn't told Cameron about what he'd learned two weeks earlier, but not because he hadn't wanted to.

Cameron nodded. "Is it just me or is he doing worse and worse these last few months?"

Wilson set down his pen and then exhaled heavily. "He is. And his leg has started hurting again. I've noticed the limp increase and that he's rubbing it more. Why? What happened?"

Cameron explained about this morning and then waited for Wilson's reaction, wanting to know if he thought she was reading too much into it. When he avoided her eye contact she knew that he knew more than he was letting on.

"What aren't you telling me, Wilson?" she pressed, leaning towards him.

"Remember two weeks ago and the fight we overheard?" he hesitantly inquired.

She nodded but waited for him to continue.

"I found out something afterwards in talking to House that he would kill me for sharing with anyone."

"What?" she asked immediately.

He sighed, glancing away. "You can't tell anybody. Not even Chase," he told her. "You have to promise me that."

Cameron didn't pause to think about it. "I won't. Tell me."

Wilson got right to the point. "House is having sex with Cuddy."

She gasped and almost fell out of her chair. "Excuse me?" she said, immediately upset.

He just nodded, having no desire to repeat himself.

She got to her feet and paced for a moment. "What? Why would Cuddy want…? Why would House…?"

"He said it's a hormone thing and if he hadn't agreed, she'd find it elsewhere," he explained briefly.

Cameron returned to the chair and sank into it. "Okay. I can understand his reasoning. Kind of. But don't ask me what my opinion is of Cuddy in even asking him for that!"

"What?!" Wilson declared, shaking his head in bewilderment. "What do you mean you understand his reasoning?! I can't even understand his reasoning!"

She shrugged. "With that kind of ultimatum, what was he going to say?! Regardless of how Cuddy is behaving right now, House would be the first person to tell you that she's lost it. And they have a history together. He…still has unresolved feelings for her. It's complicated. Even if he didn't want her to sleep around now out of concern for the baby, he wouldn't want her sleeping with anyone else. House knows all about risky behavior. And he'll do everything he can to keep Cuddy from doing herself irreparable damage. We've seen that off and on throughout this mess."

Wilson sighed. "I feel like we're getting to the point of having to do an intervention or something," he told her regretfully, rubbing his face with a hand before meeting her eyes.

Cameron nodded in understanding. "House was doing so well. But now… Things are worse than they were before. Only it's not addictions that are the problem. To my knowledge anyway. It's all…Cuddy. And the thing is there's nothing we can do, nothing House can do really but wait this out. Our job seems to be that of being supportive, which is fine; I'm not complaining. Only…I wish for his sake that he didn't need us to be here for him, forcing things out of him. It means he's no longer who he was before. Or maybe that's not accurate. Maybe it's just that now, his vulnerability leaves him so exposed that he can't even pretend to be who he was pretending to be before. That's…hard to accept. Especially for him."

She paused a moment, staring off in space. "Sometimes I…hate Cuddy," she admitted when she next met his gaze. "I see her at times and I… I just want to slap her and tell her to stop acting like this. But obviously I can't. She's my boss. And then there are moments when she seems to excel at covering it up, at least for the most part. At those times the majority of people here can't tell that anything is wrong. I mean, she NEVER brings up her pregnancy, but when people ask her about it, she does a good job of faking. If they ask if she knows the baby's sex yet, she's pretty convincing when she says that she's waiting, wanting it to be a surprise. But there's no glow to her. If pregnant women glow, Cuddy's the exception to the rule. And she's much more serious these days than she used to be. She can barely force herself to smile now. I…I've heard the nurses talking. They think she's still having a hard time with the break-up of her engagement. That's how they dismiss the changes in her. But they think deep down that she's looking forward to the birth of this baby. You, Chase, and I are the only ones who know different. Well, and House obviously. I just… I wonder how this is going to end. And I think… as much as House loves PPTH and loves his job, I agree with him. Once the baby is born, it will be better for him to be working elsewhere. When he says that I know he's thinking of Cuddy. And obviously Cuddy told him that because she wants him gone. But I think she's doing him a favor without knowing it. And I for one will be relieved when she's out of HIS life. Especially after what you just told me."

Wilson closed his eyes for a moment, still grieving for the role he felt he'd played in this whole mess in ever encouraging them to pursue a relationship together in the first place. Granted, not everything was his fault, but all the same he felt like House was miserable now because he himself had encouraged House to go for it and pursue her. Look what good that had done. House was a mess. Cuddy was…well, Wilson was not sure what Cuddy was. The consequences of it… extended far into the future. And there were no promises that better days would come and this would ultimately work out for everyone. No, things were not going so well and in Wilson's mind, he shared the blame for that.

Wilson said goodbye to Cameron when she exited his office a minute later, silence having descended between them as they both got lost in thought and then not known what more could be said. He sat there for quite some time afterwards, his heart just breaking for his friend, feeling convicted by how he'd once again failed House.

* * *

Cuddy hated this! She hated maternity clothes! She hated being pregnant! She hated feeling trapped into having House's... No, she would not say it! She hated that it was such a public thing that people would come up to her, rub her burgeoning belly, ask their questions and display their wonder and curiosity so freely. She hated how they naturally assumed she was ecstatic about it and that she felt forced into pretending she was. Cuddy wondered how she'd explain a baby's absence once she was no longer pregnant, but when that thought came to mind she'd quickly suppress it, not wanting to think about not being pregnant any more than she wanted to think about being pregnant.

Cuddy hated the weight gain, the soreness, even the way House admired her naked form and growing belly with such unabashed interest and pride. She hated how he'd waited on occasion for her to be in the midst of an orgasm and then sneak his hands up from her hips to her belly, assessing the circumference, even caressing her stomach tenderly, touching her when he knew she'd be too distracted to stop him immediately. She'd put a stop to that as soon as she could. But now it seemed like he didn't even want to have sex with her.

What did she care, she asked herself then, her heart shriveling a bit more within her. It wasn't about him anyway. Sex was about her. After all, it was his fault she was pregnant and that her hormones were out of control, driving her to seek him out like this. But there still existed moments when she was hurt and angry beyond belief that he did not seem all that enthusiastic by the free sex she was offering him in the process. This was especially true now that he… couldn't perform. In truth, sometimes she was certain it was intentional. Cuddy thought maybe he was trying to punish her for not wanting to be pregnant with his… Other times, she thought it was a real problem but one resulting from her diminishing attractiveness, as her body changed shape and size, distorting itself to the point where she felt like an alien was inhabiting her body and she was losing everything about herself she'd once taken such pride in, especially in the loss of her looks. She would almost swear House's lack of responsiveness would ultimately prove to be attributed to her rapidly declining sex appeal. Either that or to pure spite.

Cuddy clenched her hands into fists under her desk until her nails bit into the skin of her palms. She hated this. She couldn't wait for it to be over. September 22nd couldn't come soon enough.

* * *

House was not surprised that night when he heard Cuddy's key in the door. He had known she would come. He got up from the couch, watching her come in to set a sleeping Rachel down where he'd been sitting before heading down the hallway to his bedroom. House sighed, reached for the glass of water and the pill he had on standby and then took it before turning back to look at his baby's big sister. He smoothed her hair, tucking a lock of it back before reaching for some pillows to set down on the floor. She was turning into a beautiful child. He remembered Wilson's question about how she was fairing in all this. House seriously hoped he hadn't been wrong to think she was alright. Clearing his thoughts he began to unbutton his shirt, knowing that Cuddy would be waiting for him, impatient and demanding once again.

House heard a thud from the living room only minutes later and broke away from Cuddy when Rachel began to cry.

"Are you going to go to her?" he asked when she made no move to get off him.

She shook her head, not looking at him as she moved to the other side of the bed. House knew this was his cue to go.

Initially, whenever Rachel woke up in the middle of one of their… visits, Cuddy would go to her to try and comfort her. Each time she would fail miserably because of how worked up she already was by that point. House would eventually step in and take Rachel, soothing her until she fell back asleep. In some ways he enjoyed it. He truly wanted to form a bond with Rachel. She would be his daughter's big sister anyway, even if it was through her adoption and his child's birth and despite not growing up together, which Cuddy was obviously adamantly opposed to. Moreover he'd accepted Rachel as part of a package deal, all those months ago when he had thought he stood a chance with Cuddy. He'd been ready to step into her life and come to love her as well.

But the hard part of being the one to calm Rachel down was how Cuddy's resentment towards him grew instantaneously until the air in his bedroom crackled with her hostility. He had tried twice to remind her that all she had to do to comfort Rachel herself and get her back to sleep was to calm down. But Cuddy never appreciated his advice and giving her instructions only added fuel to the tension between them.

House climbed off the bed, pulling his boxers back on before limping to the living room to scoop a crying Rachel from the floor. She wasn't hurt, as she had landed on the pillows, but she had been startled by the drop. House could tell she was only half-awake so he got to his feet with her, walking around until she dropped back off. But he took his time before setting her carefully on the floor on a blanket this time. At least the interruption had allowed his body the time it needed to feel the effects of the pill, he acknowledged to himself.

House returned to the room, coming to a standstill in the doorway when he walked in to find Cuddy hastily swiping at her eyes. He paused but after a moment went to her, intending to comfort her as her breathing was ragged from crying. He didn't know what was wrong but he thought maybe she wasn't as cold as she seemed these days. Maybe she wasn't the stranger he'd come to view her as.

Yet when he sank down on the bed and reached for her, she hurriedly tugged on his boxers and then pushed him back, quickly straddling him. It would appear she did not want to find any comfort he might offer her. This seemed to be the only thing he was good for. Once more the numbness set in.

House made sure to satiate her but did not find the same release, pulling out quickly once her body eased its tension somewhat. He just didn't want the emptiness of it anymore. He longed for the moment when he'd cease to care, as she so obviously had. And he wondered where Cuddy had gone to. And what it would take to bring her back.

-----

"_**Have you ever been lost in a different world  
Where everything you once knew  
Is gone  
And you find yourself powerless  
With everything that exists  
You're numb**_

_**Will I ever break free?**_

_**I searched my world but I can't find you  
You're standing there but I can't touch you  
Try to talk but the words are just not there  
I can feel a sense of danger  
You stare at me like I'm a stranger  
Paralyzed and you don't seem to care  
The demons in my dreams**_

_**If you become a nobody  
Blind to your family  
Who would you be?  
And life has gone into reverse  
Re-living every hurt  
Along the way**_

_**Everything that you fear is calling you and drawing near**_

_**I searched my world but I can't find you  
You're standing there but I can't touch you  
Try to talk but the words are just not there  
I can feel a sense of danger  
You stare at me like I'm a stranger  
Paralyzed and you don't seem to care  
The demons in my dreams**_

_**Wake me up and let's go, yeah  
I'm about to explode  
Yeah**_

_**I searched my world but I can't find you  
You're standing there but I can't touch you  
Try to talk but the words are just not there  
I can feel a sense of danger  
You stare at me like I'm a stranger  
Paralyzed and you don't seem to care  
The demons in my dreams"**_

* * *

Song: "Demons" (Brian McFadden)


	24. Cheer Up

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(So I'm working on a chapter down the road right now with Blythe, House's mom, in it. And I seriously want to wring her neck as much as I want to slap Cuddy right about now. :) Sorry for the teaser. :) We'll get there. And thanks for your reviews! I am really impressed by all of them and everyone's thoughts! This is an angsty story, so sorry if it's depressing you. It's depressing ME! But the drama is going to lessen slightly anyway, though this story is nowhere near being done or reaching the bend in the road. Enjoy! And comment! :))_

* * *

End of June, 2010

It didn't take House long at all to realize Cameron knew that he was sleeping with Cuddy. She never brought it up but she would look disapprovingly at him whenever he ended up too close to Cuddy for her comfort. And then every time he ran into her and saw Cuddy come into the general vicinity Cameron practically shut down, eyeing him with concern the minute Cuddy was out of sight. He felt like he had his own private bodyguard the way she hovered over him lately. Frankly it was making him crazy. But he had no intention of bringing it up. He was quickly learning when it was best to keep his mouth shut, whether it was with Cameron, Wilson, or with Cuddy herself. The upside was he and Cameron didn't work together so he didn't run into her all that often at the same time as his path crossed with Cuddy.

Cuddy continued to come to his apartment, though he thought her visits had decreased in frequency in the last week. It was possible he was wrong, being that he'd sometimes stay at work to keep an eye on a patient and muddle through their puzzles at his desk, rather than go home and deal with the possibility of Cuddy showing up when he had work to do and needed time to himself to process. It seemed like no matter what he did he couldn't bounce back from an hour with her as he'd initially found himself capable of. His mind just had a harder time focusing on other things outside of Cuddy and everything concerning her. While he felt somewhat reassured regarding Rachel each time they came over, he couldn't help but worry that meaningless sex with Cuddy was somehow hurting her relationship with her kid, as well as crippling him. Rachel seemed to wake up more regularly and take longer to calm down each time he had to leave Cuddy to care for her. The fact that Cuddy would not force herself to care for her kid while at his house made him wonder what the future held for her and Rachel as mother and daughter. Everywhere he turned there appeared to be one more thing to worry about. He sincerely hoped this was all about to change. A few more months, House reminded himself then. It'll all be over in a few months.

It did seem like Cuddy had unknowingly done him a big favor in asking him to leave PPTH behind. He loved his job. He loved his puzzles. He was even quite fond of PPTH as a whole. He had a team he enjoyed, though he'd never admit that willingly, and he had people here whose absence he would feel once he was gone, especially Wilson. But there was no longer any question in his mind that he was ready to walk out those doors, even hating change as much as he did. House had resumes circulating and he'd even had a few inquiries. Unfortunately, those who seemed most interested generally wanted him for a position he didn't want or even if he thought he could resign himself to a position offered to him, they wanted him too quickly to put House at ease about taking it. He had every intention of staying until close to her due date simply because it was reassuring to know he'd be close enough to know when the time came, rather than having to trust that she'd call him and allow him to be present for the birth. It wasn't that he didn't think she'd call. It was just that he didn't want to rely on her to. As quickly as her moods could swing these days, House wasn't about to take chances. He wanted to be there when it happened.

The doctor had tentatively scheduled a third ultrasound for the very end of July when the baby reached thirty-one weeks so that he could ensure the baby was healthy and not in any distress. Cuddy was now going in every two weeks for check-ups and House generally received a phone call immediately afterward from the doctor to discuss what he'd found or what questions House might have. Dr. Amundsen's main concern continued to be Cuddy's attitude towards the pregnancy. He was genuinely worried that her depression could become serious in the weeks ahead and potentially crippling following the birth of the baby. But Cuddy refused to even talk about antidepressants and as her pregnancy did not seem to be affected by it, House felt like his hands were tied. The bad news was, once the baby was born and House followed through on walking out of her life, he'd no longer be able to keep a watchful eye on her. The good news perhaps was that he knew he would eventually talk Wilson and Cameron into doing so, if only to give him peace of mind while he moved on to fatherhood and the demands that would entail.

* * *

July, 2010

House glanced down at his pager and frowned before walking out on his team in the middle of a differential to give Cameron a call. He grabbed the phone and sank back into his chair, dialing the number before taking his ball and throwing it up and down in the air as he waited for her to answer.

"What's so urgent?" he asked gruffly.

"Just a head's up. Storm coming. I forgot to clear passing on this patient to you," she quickly told him.

House sighed and then hung the phone back up without reply, rolling his eyes. It was sort of amusing that Cameron had devised her own warning broadcast system. But pathetic that she had to. House removed his feet from his desk and limped back into the conference room to send his ducklings scurrying to do tests before they could witness the wrath of the storm.

The team had just left when Cuddy made her grand entrance. He met her eyes, the file in his hands. When she reached for it House gave it to her without hesitation, not wanting to argue anymore. "Should I tell the team we're off it?" he asked evenly.

She looked at him for a brief moment before perusing the file, only to shake her head and give it back to him. Without a word she whirled around and left. He watched her go, an eyebrow raised in confusion. That was it? No screaming match today? Finally he shook his head and turned to go back to the whiteboard, studying the symptoms once more as the case appeared to remain his, for the present.

* * *

Cuddy went back to her office, shutting the door firmly behind her. She had been prepared and actually eager to fight with House over this case. But he'd handed the case over to her immediately, just looking at her, and when he asked if he should inform the team they were off the case, all fight had left her. Once upon a time she'd known how to handle him. Today his fight had been gone, he'd given her an easy victory, and… she hadn't.

She sank down on her couch, her hands covering her face as she felt a headache coming on. Not only was he not interested in having sex with her but he didn't even have an interest in fighting with her anymore. Once upon a time she'd thought the highlights of their working relationship were the sexual tension and the challenging of one another's authority/keeping each other in their place. Now that those two things appeared to have been wiped out, what was really left to them?

Cuddy looked down at her belly then. This was it. And soon enough even THIS would be gone. He would walk out of her hospital and she'd never see him, never have to fight him, never have to acknowledge his existence, never have to have anything more to do with him. She hated him. She wanted him gone. She wanted this to be over. Didn't she?

Cuddy got to her feet, reminding herself that she had a job to do. There wasn't time to question anything. What had happened had happened. What was done was done. There was no looking back. There was only waiting to have her life back so that she could move on and he could move out of PPTH.

* * *

"Want to go bowling tonight?" Wilson asked House after pausing in the hallway to stick his head in.

He glanced up from the medical journal he was flipping through at his desk and looked over his glasses at his buddy. "Sure. What time?"

"I'll be ready to leave by five if you want to grab a bite first," Wilson suggested.

House considered it and then shook his head. "Let me meet you at the bowling alley at seven. Thirteen and Foreman are on home assignment and while they're turning his drawers out, I have a feeling my patient is going to crash. It'll be easier to boss Taub around from here."

Wilson nodded and then slipped back out the door, heading in the direction of his office while House returned his attention to the journal in his hands.

* * *

It didn't take his patient nearly as long to crash as House expected. By three p.m. his pager was going off. The only problem was once the patient started crashing, they'd stabilize him only to have him crash again. It was five p.m. by the time the patient passed the thirty minute marker without re-crashing and six p.m. before House left the hospital, leaving behind an irritated Taub to babysit the patient awhile.

He headed home on his motorcycle to grab his lucky bowling ball before heading back out with it strapped on the seat behind him. By the time he limped inside and located Wilson, his buddy had already rented a lane and was taking a steaming pizza box from the hands of the beefy guy who doubled as a manager for the restaurant attached to the alley and a security guard to the alley itself, whenever needed. House had only been thrown out once. But that had all been a misunderstanding, he told himself.

Wilson had barely set the pizza box down when House lifted the lid and grabbed a slice, taking a bite before placing it back within to pull his bowling ball from the bag.

Wilson rolled his eyes at House, assumedly for taking a bite and then putting it back, though it could have been for multiple reasons. He shot a pointed look at House's bag. "You went home to grab your bag when you could have just come here and used one of theirs?"

House smirked and quipped, "Well, you know how I feel about my balls."

Wilson choked on his beer and then swallowed hurriedly so that he could cough. Once he could breathe properly again he dryly asked, "That you're glad they're still attached?"

House stared at him, impressed, but Wilson looked back horrified. "House, I didn't mean…"

"Will you relax?!" he interrupted. "Quit treating me like I'm gun-shy. And seriously, I'm going to develop a complex if you can't set aside my issues with Cuddy for one night so that I can sink you in the gutter."

Wilson stared at him a minute, guilt oozing from him. House just rolled his eyes. "I know you think Cuddy has my balls. It's not like the thought hasn't occurred to me."

"House, I…" he began.

"Wilson. Shut up and bowl. Seriously," House muttered, grabbing his ball out and stepping onto the lane to knock down some pins. A few seconds later he had a strike and Wilson pursed his lips, duly impressed.

"Take your turn, Wilson," House said pointedly, as he reached back in the pizza box to retrieve his slice and take another bite.

Wilson threw his ball but only knocked down seven pins. As he waited for his ball to be returned, he glanced House's way. "How do you feel about your balls?" he asked, a half-smile on his face.

House chuckled before replying, "They are the only ones I'll ever play with."

* * *

House got home around nine p.m. that night and as he parked he looked around for Cuddy's car out of habit. It wasn't there so she probably wouldn't be either. He climbed off his bike and loosened his bowling bag before he headed inside the apartment building. After unlocking his door, he shoved it open and reached inside to hit the light. Then he stepped in only to stop short when his foot made contact with an envelope that had been shoved under his door. Bending down, House lifted it up, feeling its odd weight. He shut the door behind him, flinging the envelope on the couch, hearing a pinging noise as it landed on top of the book he'd left lying out that morning by mistake. A startled look crossed his face and he leaned over his couch to be sure that the envelope had hit what he thought it had. Sure enough, there was his book on what to expect the first year.

He sighed in dread, hoping Cuddy hadn't been here. But he knew she had. He knew that envelope was from her. He just didn't know whether she'd come inside or not. Reaching for it, he shuffled it from one hand to the other until he decided to just open it up. Really, if she had been inside and even if she had seen the book, it wasn't that big a deal. It was only that House didn't want her to realize how important doing a good job was to him and how concerned he was about his own ineptitude in relationships. Tearing the corner, he stuck his finger in the envelope and pulled down, tearing the side open. Then he upended the envelope in his hand, staring at the contents.

There in the palm of his hand lay his apartment key. He eyed it for a moment, both surprised and confused, before he tugged free the piece of paper which had jammed in the envelope. Opening it, he read it and then re-read it. _"Don't need this because I no longer need you."_ House removed his jacket and then placed the key in its pocket before hanging it up, having forgotten the book and his concern that Cuddy might have spotted it in the process. The envelope he'd dropped on the floor but the note remained in his fist.

House reached for the phone and dialed a number.

A few rings later Wilson picked up. "Hello?"

"Looks like you can have your key back," House replied quietly. "Cuddy left it under my door."

Wilson stared at the wall in front of him, processing House's words. Just as he opened his mouth to speak up, the dial tone sounded. Wilson stood there in his kitchen, slowly lowering the phone from his ear and only replacing it on the hook when the voice came on to say, "If you'd like to place a call…" Then he hung up. He remained where he was for several minutes, unsure and trying to place what he'd heard in his best friend's voice in that brief statement. He frowned before rubbing a hand over his face. At least that part of this fiasco was at an end, he thought to himself at length, before heading to the bathroom to ready for bed.

* * *

House hung the phone back up before balling up the note and chucking it on the coffee table. He then grabbed a blanket from the hall closet, returning to the living room to camp out on the couch. Grabbing the remote, he surfed through the channels until his cell phone rang. He only answered it because it was Taub checking in. House told him to go home since the patient seemed to be stable, saying that he'd be in early to check in on the patient anyway. Then he hung up and turned the TV off, getting up only long enough to go to the bathroom and flush down what remained of the pills within the Viagra prescription bottle before hitting the light switch and lying back down.

House turned over, kicking the blanket so that it would cover him still. In the dim light from the streetlamps he could see the white balled up note a few feet in front of him on the table. He should be relieved. He'd expected relief. But somehow knowing Cuddy wouldn't be coming back to his apartment and wouldn't be "needing him" anymore, didn't leave him feeling as relieved as he'd hoped. Though he supposed he eventually would feel relief.

This was a good thing, he reminded himself self-depreciatingly. He had his life back, his apartment back. He'd never come home to find Rachel camped out on his couch and Cuddy in his bed. But just because she was gone didn't mean his place was purged of her presence. House turned over to face the couch, closing his eyes and trying to ignore the ghosts that lingered on.

-----

"_**Ghosts, walk through the walls  
They catch your rise and falls  
Then sink back to sleeping, again  
And dust, it settles on shelves  
Will you shake me from myself  
And tell me I'm alright?  
And all the time on your own  
The flowers have grown  
Under your feet  
And don't, don't you think that it's time  
You said, "Hey, this one is mine"  
Maybe do what you want to do?  
**_

_**'Cause you, well you are no fun  
And I'm so dumb  
But please let us not be lonely, again  
And you, you wear your mistakes  
And I know mine  
But please let us not be lonely, this time  
**_

_**Cheer up, you miserable f---  
This has gone on long enough  
And I don't want to hear anymore  
'Cause if you wait for the day  
You find your thinking bends to straight  
You'll be waiting for a long, long time  
**_

_**Oh you, well you are no fun  
And I'm so dumb  
But please let us not be lonely, again  
And you, you wear your mistakes  
And I know mine  
But please let us not be lonely, this time  
**_

_**Well this house, it creaks in the night  
When I turn out all the lights  
There's nobody else around  
And ghosts, they walk through the walls  
They catch your rise and falls  
And sink back to sleep, again  
**_

_**Oh you, well you are no fun  
And I'm so dumb  
But please let us not be lonely, again**_

_**And you wear your mistakes**_

_**And I know mine**_

_**But please let us not be lonely this time**_

_**Let us not**_

_**Please**_

_**Let us not be lonely**_

_**Oh no, no, no**_

_**Oh, I'm so dumb**_

_**Please, please let us not be lonely"**_

* * *

Song: "Cheer Up" (David Ford)


	25. Stop And Stare

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(You guys are smart as whips! :) I love your comments! And I can tell you are really into this story! That makes me VERY happy! Enjoy!)_

* * *

Mid-August, 2010

House had just gotten back to his apartment when there was a knock on the door. He opened it to find Wilson standing there, a bag of Chinese take-out and a six-pack raised high in the air. "I come bearing gifts," Wilson proffered.

"You're trying to bribe me, aren't you?" House quipped, loosening his tie as he stepped aside to allow him to come in.

"Yes, but only because I want to find out how your interview went," Wilson explained, sinking into the couch and setting the bag on the table.

"Is that beer?" House asked in surprise. Wilson hadn't brought beer since…before Mayfield.

"Non-alcoholic," Wilson answered dismally. "I figured since you're really taking this thing seriously I can at least do my best to be supportive. But it's gonna suck."

House nodded in agreement. "Yep," he agreed. There was no denying the truth.

"So? Tell me about how it went?" Wilson prompted, propping his feet up on the coffee table.

"Let me change first. I can't wear this monkey suit another minute. I'm suffocating in pretentiousness." House walked out of the room and down the hallway towards his bedroom, leaving Wilson sitting there to entertain himself for a few minutes. He cracked open a beer and took a drink, cringing before setting it back down on the table and getting up to retrieve a couple plates and forks from the kitchen. By the time House returned in a t-shirt and jeans, Wilson was back on the couch, dishing out two plates worth of food.

"Well?" Wilson asked, extending a plate for House to take.

"They haven't made up their mind yet about starting a Diagnostics department," House said after taking a couple bites. "They are on the fence. The whole hospital is running on a tight budget; lots of cuts lately due to the economy. But they offered me a position. It's decent and almost exactly what I'm doing now but on a smaller scale and minus a team to carry out all my tests for me. Still, there's potential for growth in a year or two should funding become available. And I can hire someone to work with me; someone completely of my own choosing. Plus, the money's good. And I won't have to work in the clinic," he added, as if that was what had swayed him, though it really hadn't been that at all.

"They didn't seem to object to your…reputation?" Wilson asked in curiosity. Everyone objected to House's reputation.

"No. In fact they said the main reason they were considering me was BECAUSE of my reputation. Apparently several of their board members golf or something with people on the PPTH board. They've heard a lot about me over the years, both good and bad. It was said that while they are pleased to know I've 'settled down some' in recent months, they have no objections to a littlebad publicity, as long as they can use it in their favor to generate money. I guess someone from PPTH let it slip that we have several major donors who contribute significant wads of cash based solely on my reputation as a world-class jerk," House told him, smiling broadly over that fact.

Wilson shook his head in disbelief. "Who knew being a jerk could be in your favor?!"

House laughed. "Yeah, who knew?" he sarcastically quipped.

"When would you start?" Wilson asked next. "This is really disgusting, by the way," he added after taking another sip of beer.

House smirked and said, "Oh Jimmy, quit your whining." He popped the tab on his own and took a long draft. "Well," he continued. "In applying I made it clear that I wouldn't be available until November. They don't have a problem with that. The guy whose paycheck I am taking isn't retiring until the end of September. When they offered me the position I made it known that I would be a single father soon. I didn't want to throw any curveballs. They have to accept that or it won't work. Somehow they concluded that was a positive thing." House's expression reflected his amazement at that fact. "I'll have regular hours at first anyway, 9 to 5, and then we'll work it out from there. And thankfully they have a daycare for staff-members on site so that would be available for me to use. They must really want me. They even offered to start my benefit package early."

"Sounds great, House," Wilson said contentedly before turning serious. "Hey, uh, Chase sought me out today."

House waited for him to continue, admittedly intrigued.

"He's…concerned about Cameron," he continued.

House rolled his eyes. "She's not in love with me. How many times do we have to have this conversation? I thought we were done with the doubting already."

Wilson shook his head. "No, that's not why he came to me. He, uh…well, he wondered if you got the job and were going to be hiring people, if you wouldn't consider Cameron. Since you have a spot…"

"What?" he interrupted, recoiling in shock. "You're serious? Chase wants ME to hire CAMERON? He does realize that would mean she wouldn't work at PPTH anymore, right? That she'd be with me EVERY day of the workweek? What?! Why?!"

Wilson sighed, not surprised at House's reaction. It had caught him off guard as well. "Cameron's…not doing so well. Chase thinks she's really struggling. Cuddy's kind of…lost her respect."

House interrupted, "But…tough! Sometimes you have to work for people you don't respect. I mean, I don't like that Cameron feels that way. I hate that YOU feel that way! But that's part of life. She's got a good job at PPTH. She should hold onto it and see where it takes her professionally. And…even if she doesn't respect Cuddy for her…personal decisions lately, that's no reason to not respect her professionally. She's accomplished a lot in her lifetime."

Wilson gave House a dire look before gesturing with his hand and suggesting, "Okay, let's set ASIDE everyone's personal opinion of Cuddy right now and focus on Chase's real point. Cameron is miserable. She doesn't know if she wants to continue working there. He says that lately she talks a lot about looking somewhere else for employment. He thinks it could be 'win, win' for you both. You'd have someone familiar with how you operate who you've already taken for a test-ride. She'd…okay, you aren't going to be so pleased about this part, but…she'd be able to keep an eye on you and know that you're doing fine. That would help her to be fine. Which would help them to be fine."

House groaned, throwing his head back against the couch. "That's supposed to convince me to hire her?! I'll admit his first point is excellent. It's in her favor that I know her; I know how she thinks, she knows how I work, and we work well together for the most part. But why would I hire her so that she can be assured that I'm doing alright?! When have I EVER appreciated people breathing down my neck, watching me in concern? Didn't I just have to deal with that crap after Mayfield? Aren't I still dealing with that crap with you and Cameron due to things with Cuddy?"

Wilson shook his head. "It wouldn't be like the months after Mayfield, House. Seriously, you should really consider this! And cut Cameron a break! How many times has she been there to support you this last year? Is that really such a bad thing? Is it really so awful to have her care about you and want to continue supporting you in the future?"

House rolled his eyes but then actually paused to think about it. "Listen, Cameron's been great. You've been great. I…HYPOTHETICALLY," he threw in, " wouldn't have gotten through this much without the both of you. But I just… she has her own life to live. I don't want her to put her life on hold for some idealistic goal of saving me. I don't need saving!"

Wilson nodded. "I don't think she is. I think despite her tendency towards a messiah complex, she really does need a change. And while I am sure that she'll be there whenever you need her and one day you will appreciate that, especially once the baby is born, I think she's doing great in her personal life. She's just unhappy work-wise."

"You aren't just trying to get me to hire her so you'll have someone there to spy on me, are you?" House asked in skepticism.

Wilson chuckled. "No. I figure once the baby is born, you'll be so happy to see me that you'll tell me EVERY detail of your life, just in order to have someone else there to change dirty diapers."

House glared at him in mock annoyance. Finally he sighed loudly in resignation. "Alright. I'll offer her the position and we'll go from there."

Wilson smiled. "That was much easier than I thought it would be," he admitted then.

"Yeah, yeah," House grumbled. "Now give me your egg roll. You can't get something for nothing."

* * *

House entered PPTH the following Monday and headed for the ER, determined to schedule a time when he could speak with Cameron that day and just get it over with. Spotting Chase and Cameron near the desk where she was busily scribbling on a chart, he headed in their direction. Chase saw him coming and gave him a probing look. House nodded slightly, answering the unspoken question. He assumed Chase didn't want him to mention to Cameron that this was his idea.

"Hey," he began, greeting them both before turning to Cameron. "Have time for lunch today?"

She looked at him in concern for a moment, attempting to gauge how he was doing before responding. "I already told Chase I'd meet him for lunch. How about dinner? Chase and I both get off early today. You could come over and I'll cook?"

Chase interrupted, "No, that's no big deal. You can take lunch with him."

House knew that Chase didn't want to be present for the conversation, either because he wanted Cameron to decide on her own or because he wanted her ignorant of his role in this offer. He figured he'd cut him a break. "How about coffee?"

Cameron nodded. "Yeah, I can take a break as soon as I'm done filling out this chart if you want."

"Sounds great. Why don't you meet me up in my office when you can?" he replied casually.

"Okay."

Chase kissed her cheek and then followed after House in the direction of the elevators, stepping in after him before speaking. "You don't mind? Really?"

"Listen," House began grudgingly, "It's not the worst idea in the world. But are you sure about this? You actually want your wife leaving PPTH and following me? You do realize that people might question why she'd do that?"

Chase smiled and shrugged. "I don't have anything to worry about."

House tilted his head to the side, studying him. "What aren't you saying?"

"Nothing," Chase denied, throwing his hands up in the air to ward off House's skepticism.

"You're hiding something," House confirmed.

"Don't mention to her that this was my idea," Chase told him as he stepped off the elevator at the next stop, smiling.

"I'm going to figure it out," House called loudly after him before the doors could close completely. Chase ignored him and continued down the hallway.

* * *

House entered his office, answering his ringing cell phone at the same time. He smiled following a brief conversation and then headed to the coffee machine to fill a mug up. Taub and Foreman were already seated at the conference table. "Where's Thirteen?" House inquired.

"Down in the clinic," Foreman told him, not looking up from what he was working on.

"Any cases?" House asked disinterestedly.

"Not yet," Taub replied, sparing him a glance. "We're just finishing up the paperwork from yesterday's case. Cuddy's on the warpath today. I think there's an inspection coming up. So, word to the wise, watch out."

"Ah, and how is our dear mother-to-be?" House queried sarcastically. "Burgeoning with spawn?" The act was becoming unbearable but the show must go on. He knew Thirteen suspected something was up between he and Cuddy and Foreman had his suspicions as well, but Taub seemed to be clueless, or perhaps just completely disinterested. House preferred to keep it that way as long as possible. Wilson, Cameron, and Chase had all successfully kept their mouths closed so far. He figured that had a lot more to do with the extenuating circumstances than their own capabilities to hold their tongues. Cuddy certainly hadn't told anyone. Neither had House. Well, no one other than Wilson anyway, who had in turn told Cameron, who had gone home and told Chase.

Foreman was the one to answer him. "Seriously, House, avoid her. Today would be a good day to keep your head down."

"Relax, mommy's not going to fire daddy," he mockingly reassured, thinking that they had no idea how true his words were. Cuddy wasn't going to fire him. Not when he had already agreed to quit.

Cameron stepped in then and House reached for the coffee to pour her a cup but she stopped him before he could. "Actually, I'm in the mood for tea," she informed him, reaching into the basket to rummage around a moment before she pulled out a decaffeinated teabag. House eyed her for a moment and then filled a mug with hot water instead before pointing her in the direction of his office. She led the way and House followed, opening the door to the balcony and motioning her outside.

When he'd shut it behind him, he turned to her. "I had an interview at Riverside East last Friday. I was offered a position there, starting in November. They haven't decided whether or not they will pursue a full Diagnostics department but they want me to come work for them and then we'll see how it goes," he began, not wanting to wait too long in case one of his ducklings became curious in regards to what was going on.

"Congratulations," Cameron replied, though she said it in a tone that proclaimed her words to be insincere. This made him smile. She didn't seem to be all that happy about it.

House tried to hold back a laugh. "Thanks. I can see you really mean that."

Cameron looked taken aback, appalled at herself. She reached out a hand and touched his arm. "No, I…"

"But I asked you to meet me," House continued dryly, "because they said I could hire someone to work alongside me. I wondered if you'd be interested. It's not PPTH. But it's a decent hospital, despite being fairly new, and I think there's potential for it to really make a name for itself in a few years."

She looked at him in shock, momentarily speechless.

"Congratulations on being pregnant, by the way," he told her then, enjoying her response to each statement immensely.

"How did you…?" she mumbled, her eyes wide open.

"Come on, Cameron! The tea's a dead giveaway! You have a coffee addiction! You drink like a fish," he harassed.

She exhaled and gave him a dirty look. "Well, you better keep your mouth shut! I'm only a few weeks along. Chase and I only found out Thursday."

"Well then you better make a big deal of drinking from Starbucks cups for the next month or so. Everyone here knows that where there's coffee, there's Cameron," he incited, taking pleasure in her irritation.

"Getting back on subject," she said firmly, trying to corral him in. "Are you serious? You want to offer me a job?"

"It would seem that way," he agreed sardonically. "Although, if you are going to be this slow on the uptake I might rethink whether or not you are intelligent enough for the position."

Cameron rolled her eyes, biting her lip as she considered the proposition.

"It wouldn't be until November or so," he added. "But, just to tweak your decision in my favor and spare me the trouble of interviewing people, they do have onsite daycare. That would come in handy for you soon enough."

Her eyebrows went up at that statement but she remained silent, pondering it carefully. "Yes, I want the job. But do you mind waiting a day or two for my official acceptance so that I can check with Chase first?"

"Who wears the pants in your marriage?" he ragged.

She looked at him, her eyes scrunched up. "I'm not asking his permission! I'm…consulting with him."

"Whatever. That's fine," House replied, brushing it off. "But I haven't told anyone I'm leaving and you won't have to for months yet, so could you try and keep it between you, Chase, and I? At least for a while? Oh. Wilson too, of course."

She nodded in agreement and turned to go but House stopped her. "Aren't you forgetting to ask the specifics here?"

She turned back to him, smiling. "It probably doesn't matter anyway. I'm ready for a change in scenery. But actually, I trust you to believe it would be worth my while before offering me the position."

"It is," he confirmed seriously. "I'll e-mail you figures though, just so that you'll have them on hand if you decide to talk with Chase tonight."

"Thanks, House," she said gratefully as she pulled open the door and stepped back inside, bypassing the conference room on her way back to the hall. Cameron really did want this opportunity. She needed it.

House watched her go and then looked at Foreman and Taub in the conference room who were staring at him after seeing a pleased Cameron walk away.

"What do you think that was about?" Taub asked, frowning.

"Don't know. Don't care," Foreman shrugged, returning to the work in front of him.

House smiled, having read their lips. He turned and headed out the door and down the hall to Wilson's office. He barged in, happily interrupting Wilson at work though he was somewhat disappointed to not find a patient with him.

"Well, at least you're back to the routine," Wilson quipped sarcastically, setting down his pen.

"I talked to Cameron," House informed him rather than responding to the remark. He shut the door behind him and sank down on the couch.

"What did she say?" he asked curiously.

House shrugged. "Yes. But she still has to check with Chase."

Wilson smiled, amused that she agreed without talking to Chase first.

"Cuddy's going to be pissed," House said then.

"Maybe not. I don't know," Wilson replied, shrugging. "It's not like she and Cameron are on good terms right now. She'll lose a good employee but she'll be free to replace her with someone who knows nothing of the goings on of the previous months and who doesn't have the loyalty issues Cameron has."

"She'll still be pissed," House declared. "But as Cameron won't need to give her notice for a few months yet, I guess I won't really have to witness her reaction. You just better keep your mouth shut, Jimmy."

Wilson gave him a "Who, me?" look before stating, "Listen, I'm not telling anyone anything!"

"Are you available the weekend after next?" House asked then, changing the subject.

"Yeah, why?" he inquired, one eyebrow raised.

"I'm moving and I could use an extra set of hands," House casually tossed out.

"What?! You're moving?! Since when?" Wilson sputtered, flabbergasted.

"Since today. I got a call about an hour ago. There are a lot of houses on the market for reduced prices right now. I'm taking advantage of that. I figure I will need more space anyway," he replied as if it was no big deal. But the truth was he didn't want to be in the apartment any longer than he had to. It had a history to it. One he wanted to walk away from. He'd been sleeping on the couch for a while now, not wanting to be in his bedroom, not wanting to remember all that had taken place there. And anyway, he wanted this father thing to be the turn of a page in his life story. A happy turn, if happy existed for him.

"Wow. Wow! This is…BIG! You're serious?" Wilson asked, still uncertain whether House was being honest.

"Wilson, you make it sound like I'm settling down, rearing a family, becoming a respectable citizen," he complained in annoyance.

"You…kind of are. Well, minus the respectable citizen part. That's a stretch," Wilson replied, slightly bemused by this turn of events. "Where are you moving?"

"Kendall Park. About halfway between PPTH and Riverside East," he answered before pressing the question, "So you'll help me move?"

"Yeah, of course. Just let me know when to show up," Wilson replied.

"Great! You can bring drinks as a housewarming gift," House responded, getting to his feet. "Well, I got clinic hours to complete."

"Why do you even bother when it's not as if she's going to come yell at you about it? Hasn't she avoided you this whole past week?" Wilson inquired, genuinely puzzled.

"She would eventually," House disagreed. "And rumor has it that there's an inspection coming. Stress isn't good for my spawn."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Why do you call her that? Can't you just pick out a name for her like a normal parent?"

"Aw Jimmy, that wouldn't be as much fun. It's way more satisfying to annoy you like this," he goaded.

Wilson gave him a vaguely irritated look before remembering something. "Hey, you never said how the third ultrasound went."

House shrugged. "The baby looks good and the doctor was satisfied with Cuddy's weight gain this time round."

"Did Cuddy say anything?" he probed.

House looked away. "Nope. No more than usual. She did say she wants to be induced if she doesn't go into labor by her due date. The doctor agreed to induce her on the 23rd. Once she left he said he didn't really want to wait beyond forty weeks to induce anyway, simply out of concern for both Cuddy and the baby. He's hoping he can talk her into going on some anti-depressants after she's given birth."

Wilson nodded and House just glanced his way briefly before pulling open the door, stepping out, and shutting it behind him.

* * *

House got off the elevator in the lobby and his eyes immediately settled on a very pregnant Cuddy. Even after all that had happened between them, he couldn't deny that a force larger than himself drew him to her like an invisible magnetic pull. He stared at her as she made her way to the clinic doors, pulling it open to go within, her walk now almost a waddle. She stood at the desk a moment, rubbing the small of her back like it was sore. He imagined it was. His baby was doing a good job of taking up space and expanding it when it got too cramped.

She grabbed a file and called a patient's name, then walking into an exam room. House entered the clinic and waited nearby until the patient came out ten minutes later. Then he slipped into the exam room with her.

She was busy making notations in the file, her back to him, shifting her weight around and reminding him that she had appeared sore. House stepped up behind her and placed his hands on her back, kneading the muscles there. Cuddy's eyes flickered closed for a moment and she visibly relaxed, but just as suddenly she snapped out of it, stiffening under his hands, all too aware without looking to see who it was that it was indeed House behind her.

"Stop!" she bit out, attempting to shrug him off her.

He sighed but released her, not wanting to make this more of a scene than he had to.

"What do you want, House?" Cuddy asked him sharply. "Just tell me and get out."

His jaw clenched for a second but then he reached into his back pocket, pulling an envelope out and tossing it on top of the file in front of her without explanation.

"What is it?" she asked, using a fingernail to brush it aside as she finished writing down the patient care information the form still required her to complete.

"My resignation letter," House stated bluntly.

Her pen froze in mid-air, trembling slightly before she continued writing. "Good," she commented, her tone revealing nothing of what she felt about it.

He nodded. "I'm going to tell my team on Thursday," he mentioned then. "I haven't used up my vacation time yet so my final day here will be September 17th and then I'd like my vacation time to follow so that my health coverage goes through October."

Cuddy nodded her head almost imperceptibly. "I'll make sure that happens."

"Thank you," he replied quietly before turning and making his way out of the exam room. He paused at the door to look back at her and say, "I'm going to do my clinic hours now." He figured that would be all it took to send her back to her office where she could have some back support while working at her desk or maybe she'd lie down on the couch for a while.

She glanced his way and then averted her gaze before saying, "That's good. I'm just finishing mine."

Without further ado House left the room, heading to the counter to grab a chart and call a patient's name.

* * *

Cuddy stood in the exam room after House left absolutely numb to the world. After several minutes, one of the nurses came in to check on her.

"Dr. Cuddy?" the woman inquired. "Sorry to interrupt you but your last patient said he's waiting on a prescription."

She startled to life then and quickly scribbled down the prescription, tearing the page off before turning to hand it to the nurse.

The nurse took it, biting her lip as she searched Cuddy's face. She slowly turned and made her way to the door but there she paused, looking back. "Are you okay, Dr. Cuddy?" she asked in concern, hoping she wasn't overstepping boundary lines.

"What?" she mumbled, her mind not functioning well just yet.

"You're crying, Dr. Cuddy," the nurse said softly. "Are you alright?"

Her hand went up to her face and she realized that she did indeed have tears streaming down her cheeks. "Oh. Yeah, I'm fine," she murmured. "I just got something in my eye."

The nurse frowned but finally nodded. "Let me know if you need anything," she offered.

"I'll be right out. I'm almost done with this file," Cuddy replied before turning back to the file as the nurse headed back out, prescription in hand.

When the door closed Cuddy reached for the letter of resignation, her hand shaking uncontrollably. It took her several tries but finally she succeeded in tucking it in her lab coat pocket. Wiping her face quickly, she straightened, pivoting with the file in her hand to exit the exam room and then escape to her office, her clinic hours not yet complete but her pregnancy a ready excuse to pass them off to someone else.

* * *

Thursday morning House went into work, still uncertain how he was going to tell his team. He knew he could keep it a secret for a few more weeks but somehow it didn't seem fair to them this time round. They'd had their lives tossed topsy-turvy by him several times already. Besides, they'd hear it eventually. He'd rather be the one to break the news and make his excuses than to have them come up with their own reasons and have to combat them in the weeks remaining to him at PPTH. House headed for his office, flipping through some mail before he headed into the conference room to join the team.

"Good morning!" he greeted them cheerfully, an odd smile plastered to his lips.

All three of them quickly looked up, meeting his gaze.

"Do we have a case?" he asked. "Inquiring minds would like to know!"

"We have a twenty-three year old patient presenting with tachycardia, blurred vision…" Foreman began.

Thirteen interrupted, holding up an envelope and its contents which House recognized immediately and internally sighed over. After observing Cuddy in the clinic the other day House had thought it only fair that he pay for her to get a massage. He'd called several places before finding one that specialized in massages for pregnant women, in addition to the norm. He'd left the gift certificate on her desk the night before. Apparently she wasn't interested. Now he was glad that he hadn't put a name on it.

"Who is this for?" Thirteen asked curiously. "Do you have a secret admirer these days?"

"That…is for you," House replied. "Happy birthday."

Her forehead wrinkled and she looked at him funny. "It was lying on the floor when I opened the door to your office this morning. It doesn't have my name on it."

He shrugged. "I sent someone to pick it up. I hadn't received it yet to write your name there. Maybe if you weren't so snoopy…"

"It's…not my birthday," she interrupted to point out, her expression one of confusion.

"Oh. Well then, there must be another reason for it," he declared, tapping his finger on his chin as if deep in thought. "That's right. I remember what it is. It's a goodbye present."

Foreman and Taub looked at one another quickly before looking to Thirteen, who just stared at House. "You're firing me?" she asked softly in surprise.

"No!" he groaned in protest. "Why is everything about you? Geesh!"

"Then what's going on?" Foreman asked, his somber eyes on House.

"I've received a job offer from another hospital. I'm leaving mid-September," House stated easily.

"You're leaving?" Taub asked, clearly taken aback. "You're serious?"

"What hospital?" Foreman inquired, not willing to buy House's story so quickly. "This is the only hospital I know of that has a Diagnostics department."

Thirteen was more interested in his reasoning. "Why?" she queried, her tone one of concern.

House looked at each of them for a moment before sighing dramatically. "I just need a change of pace for a while. I was offered a position at Riverside East." Noting Foreman was about to protest, he raised a hand up to cut him off. "Before you say it, yes I know they don't have a Diagnostics department. But the position I am taking is similar to what I do now and the board is discussing the possibility of starting a Diagnostics department in the near future."

"You're leaving because you need a change of pace?" Thirteen repeated, her voice uncertain.

He nodded, unwilling to expand on that answer.

"What will happen when you leave?" Foreman asked next.

"Oh, you'll cry for a while. It'll be sad. You might even experience some depression. But eventually the sun will come back out from the rain clouds and you'll pick up the pieces of your life and move on," House quipped.

"I meant to the department," he replied dryly.

"Good question," House applauded before his expression flattened. "No idea."

Taub raised his eyebrows. "You don't know?"

"Well, there's several good possibilities," he began, his voice sarcastic. "But I suppose you want to hear the most likely possibilities. And so then I'd say there's two. Well, three if you all get the boot. But my guess would be that either the department will be dissolved and you'll be reassigned, OR," House said, drawing it out, "someone can apply for my position, namely, Foreman."

"I don't want it," Foreman said quickly. "Been there, done that. It's not worth the hassle. Being an underling suits me just fine. Less responsibility. More job satisfaction."

House pursed his lips, not surprised to have Foreman reject the idea. He imagined his main reason centered more on the fact that it hadn't worked so well last time with Thirteen and Taub working under him. If he was free to hire newbies, the idea might appeal more. But then again, Foreman just wasn't the genius House was so maybe it was a wise move on Foreman's part.

"Wait a second," Taub muttered. "How come you are giving Thirteen a parting gift but not Foreman and I?"

House sighed and lamented, "Alas, I know how hard this is to hear and I know people will tell you it's not true but, the thing is, parents really do have favorites. And frankly son, you're not mine."

Thirteen smiled, somewhat humored by House's continuous display of wit. Foreman just rolled his eyes while Taub shot a look of annoyance in House's direction.

"Okay kids, back to the patient," House directed, refocusing on why they were all sitting in the conference room in the first place. As he wrote down the symptoms, he thought to himself that his revelation had gone over much better than he expected. He wondered what the odds were that that would last. All the same, he hadn't been lying. He was ready to move on and start over, shaking the dust from his heels as he walked away, intending not to look back.

_**This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us  
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin' off the rust  
I've got my heart set, on anywhere but here  
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years  
Steady hands, just take the wheel  
Every glance is killing me  
Time to make one last appeal for the life I lead**_

_**Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere  
Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be, oh**_

_**Stop and stare  
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not 'there'  
And you'd give anything to get what's fair  
But fair ain't what you really need  
Oh, can you see what I see?**_

_**They're tryin' to come back, all my senses push  
Untie the weight bags I never thought I could  
Steady feet, don't fail me now  
I'm gonna run 'til you can't walk  
Something pulls my focus out  
And I'm standing down**_

_**Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere  
And yeah I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be, oh  
Stop and stare  
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not 'there'  
And you'd give anything to get what's fair  
But fair ain't what you really need  
Oh no, you don't need**_

_**What you need, what you need, what you need**_

_**Stop and stare  
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere  
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared  
But I've become what I can't be  
Oh, do you see what I see?"

* * *

**_

Song: "Stop And Stare" (OneRepublic)

__


	26. Georgia On My Mind

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Sorry - lots of detail in this one about House's new place to generate an idea of the layout. Hope you enjoy! Keep commenting! :) Baby's coming but not til Ch. 29. Sorry for the wait! Ha ha.)_

* * *

Cameron saw Wilson sitting in the corner of the lunchroom by himself and took her tray over to join him.

"Hey," he greeted, motioning to the chair across from him. "Have a seat."

"Thanks," she replied as she pushed the chair back. "House isn't joining you to steal your fries today?"

He shook his head. "No, he's busy with a patient that came in." Leaning in closer Wilson asked her in a whisper, "Did House tell you he bought a house in Kendall Park?"

"No! He did? Really?! Are you sure he isn't just messing with you?" Cameron inquired skeptically, her voice louder than she meant it to be. Wilson gave her a look, silently telling her to lower her tone.

"I don't think so. He asked if I'd help him move in a couple weeks," he continued, taking a bite of his sandwich.

Cameron was still trying to process House buying a…house. "That was fast," she murmured then.

He shrugged. "Seems like it but I don't know how long he's had it in the works. I only know he got a call the other day saying the seller accepted his offer."

"Does Cuddy know?" she asked curiously, wondering how she'd react to that piece of news.

"I doubt it. Why would he tell her? They… hardly speak right now. And when they do, it's kind of… forced."

Cameron sighed. "I can't say that I'm one of Cuddy's fans right now, but all the same, he loves her, doesn't he? I see the way he looks at her when he doesn't think anyone is watching. It's heartbreaking."

Wilson nodded but didn't say anything more.

"Do you think he's doing alright, Wilson? I mean, he seems to be doing better at the moment. Almost like his old self. But I'm not sure if that's only skin deep or if it's real."

He exhaled slowly, thinking about her question. "I think he's doing alright. Especially now that his 'arrangement' with Cuddy has come to an end. But you're right. Sometimes it's impossible to tell. He's got his own carapace in all these defense mechanisms of his and he really excels at both changing the subject and deflecting. Then of course there is the fact that he doesn't want anyone else to know or suspect anything, so he's trying really hard to keep up his routine in order to hide what's going on," he admitted. "I think the job thing helps. He's got that portion of his future settled. And the house is probably going to be a nice distraction. Plus, the end is in sight here. I imagine he'll bite the bullet and buy baby stuff once he moves into the new house. It's time for that anyway. Otherwise I'm going to be stuck doing it," he finished in vague irritation.

She laughed but nodded, taking another bite of her salad.

"He mentioned he offered you a position," Wilson covertly said. "Are you going to take it?"

Cameron glanced around but nodded. "Yes, but I'm obviously not clueing anyone in to that yet. Chase is really taking it well. I'm…honestly, a little surprised. But then again, maybe not so much," she finished, smiling happily.

Wilson wondered what that smile was about but didn't ask, not wanting to know if it was something of a sexual nature.

"We need a plan. Do you have a plan?" he asked next, his tone mysterious as he furtively looked around the cafeteria.

Cameron looked at him, perplexed. "A plan for what?"

"Well, he's going to have a daughter. Can you really picture that? If left to his own devices he'll probably dress her in camouflage or biker chick clothes. Or little t-shirts that say inappropriate comments. We're going to have to intercede somehow."

Cameron laughed. "That IS a problem," she replied as if she was a fellow conspirator in whatever scheme he drummed up. "I guess we will have to do SOMETHING about that."

"And she's going to need a name. We should probably draft a list for him. Otherwise at best he'll give her a boy's name and at worst, he'll name her after a dessert item," Wilson pronounced direly.

She chuckled, picturing House carrying a baby girl around and calling her Chuck or… Muffin. "That'll never do," she agreed.

"Start your list," he replied somberly.

She smiled, still thinking of House having a baby girl and naming her Chuck. "When did you say he was moving?" she asked.

"In a couple of weeks. You and Chase should come," Wilson invited. "Help me with all the heavy lifting. You know House is just going to camp out on the lawn on the couch and use a megaphone to shout directions at me. I can't carry furniture by myself."

Cameron laughed at the mental imagery. "I'll check with House and see if I can wrangle an invitation. If someone promises free food I can probably convince Chase to come along," she hinted.

"Deal," Wilson replied, sticking his hand out to shake hers across the table.

* * *

"I hear you are moving," Cameron said as she entered House's office and shut the door behind her.

He looked over from the scan he had up to the light and smiled. "Yeah. Wanna help with the move? You can bring the Aussie."

"Sure," she replied. "I'll put it on my calendar."

"I told my team today that I'm leaving come mid-September," he informed her then.

Cameron came alongside him and looked at the scan as well. "What is that?!" she asked in horror, pointing to the scan.

"That," he answered gleefully, "is a candiru, a type of catfish. Apparently my patient's wife has always wanted to go on a cruise. So for her birthday he sent her and her friend on one to the Bahamas, saying he couldn't join her because he gets seasick. Then he made up some story about going fishing with buddies and waited until the day after she left to board a plane to Brazil to meet up with some sweet young thing he met in a chat room. They went swimming in the Amazon near Manaus and the Rio Negro and since the idiot had never heard the legend of the urinophilic fish and barely spoke Spanish, he didn't think twice about peeing in the river. People should really invest more time in watching National Geographic, geesh! The candiru swam up his pee stream and invaded and parasitized his urethra, its backwards little spikes lodging it in place. He flew back home in pain but hopped up on painkillers he'd gotten his hands on, not wanting to miss his flight and have to come up with an explanation to his wife if he was hospitalized in Brazil. Drove straight here from the airport. But his wife showed up so he stuck to his story until the team finally managed to clear her out so I could have a little chat with him. He's in surgery as we speak, since we did not have any Jagua tea at hand."

"Jagua tea?" Cameron asked skeptically. "Never heard of it."

"Native remedy," House explained, shrugging.

"Ugh," she remarked in disgust. "I think I read about this in med school. Wasn't it in an article in Urology by John Herman in the 70's?"

House nodded, impressed that she remembered that much detail.

"For that reason alone, I'm glad I've never had any desire to swim in the Amazon. Though I suppose for you it makes for an interesting case this week and for your patient a life lesson and a fitting punishment for sticking his penis where it didn't belong," she joked.

"Yup," House agreed before opening the door to the conference room to throw the scan on the table for his team's enjoyment once they came back.

Closing the door and moving back to his desk, House changed the subject and requested, "Hey, keep my move quiet, alright? The fewer people that come calling once I'm gone, the less likely it will be that word will get back to PPTH about me having a kid. Eventually the news might leak anyway but if I can distance it as much as possible from the time Cuddy gives birth, the less likely it will be that someone connects the dots."

Cameron nodded understandingly. "Not a problem. Do you know what Cuddy's planning to say after she has the baby and then shows up at the hospital baby-less?"

"No idea," House said honestly, shrugging. "Not my problem."

"I guess not," she accepted readily. "It'll be interesting though."

House watched her leave his office, considering her statement. Yes, it probably would be. Not that that was reassuring.

* * *

House was sitting in his office when Thirteen came in the next week. "Okay, so I called this place to make an appointment to use the gift certificate you gave me and the lady on the other end asked me how far along I was," Thirteen informed him dryly, shooting him a dirty look.

House laughed. "Congratulations," he said. "That's generally not the way people break the news about their little miracle but whatever works for you."

She tilted her chin down, staring at him hard. "I'm not pregnant," she informed him pointedly.

"If you say so," he replied soberly before throwing her an exaggerated wink as if he knew she wanted him to keep her secret.

She pursed her lips as she tried to read him but he got to his feet and walked into the conference room to check on the results that Taub had just come in with. Thirteen stared after House and then looked down at her belly, her forehead wrinkling in concern. She wasn't pregnant. Was she?

* * *

Wilson stepped into House's office and he looked up, waiting for him to speak.

"Nolan called me today. He asked about you. Seemed a little concerned that he hasn't heard more from you lately," Wilson informed him.

House's eyebrows shot up. "What did you tell him?"

"That you've been busy. I figured I better tell him something so I mentioned you're in the midst of preparing to move. I told him that you've bought a house you'll be moving into soon and that you'll be starting a new job. That surprised him but I don't think it sent up red flags, per say. He asked how things were going for you and I said I think you're ready for a change but that you're doing well presently. I left it at that," he finished, shrugging.

"Thanks," House said, sighing. "I do plan on giving him a call. I'd just like to wait another month or two before I do."

Wilson nodded. "Are you going to tell him everything that has been going on in your life?"

House chuckled dryly. "Yeah, right."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "I better get back to work," he said, knowing he wouldn't be able to convince House to share his problems with someone else.

"You do that, Jimmy," House replied. He watched him leave and glanced at the phone. Yes. That call could definitely wait.

* * *

House saw Thirteen in the hallway and saw her look around furtively before slipping into the bathroom, her hand placed over a mysterious bulge in her pocket that House instantly recognized because it hadn't been that long since he himself had tucked a pregnancy test away. Laughing, he got to his feet and went into the hallway, entering the ladies room a moment later without hesitation. "You're not pregnant," he called out loudly from where he stood in front of her stall.

"House!" she scolded, clearly inappreciative both of his presence and his volume.

"Relax! There's no one else in here," he muttered.

A minute later the toilet flushed and Thirteen came out, walking quickly past him to the garbage to bury the pregnancy test under a number of paper towels.

House smiled broadly, enjoying himself at her expense as she glowered at him while washing her hands. "Why would you give me a gift certificate to that place then?" she challenged him.

He shrugged. "I heard it's highly recommended. They don't just handle pregnant clientele. That's just their specialty."

She turned around to stare at him suspiciously after turning the faucet off. "Are you sure that gift certificate was for me?"

"Who else would it be for?" he replied caustically.

"Cuddy?" Thirteen questioned uncertainly.

House rolled his eyes. "Yeah, like that would ever happen. In case you haven't noticed, Cuddy and I can't even stand to be in the same room as one another, let alone have the kind of relationship where I'd be buying her gifts."

"And we have the kind of relationship where you'd be buying me gifts?" she inquired in alarm.

House realized he'd opened the door to that one. "Oh for goodness sake, Thirteen! You're reading WAY too much into this! Take the gift. Don't take the gift. I don't care. Just quit questioning it. You're going to drive me crazy."

She scrutinized his expression for a moment more before asking, "What happened between you two anyway? Last year I thought you were interested in her."

His first instinct was to deflect but he stopped himself, knowing Thirteen would see right through him. "Were. Past tense. She wasn't."

"And that has something to do with why you can't be around each other without a screaming match ensuing?" she inquired, drying her hands.

Just then the door opened and House looked over nonchalantly to find Cuddy walking in. She glanced back and forth between the two of them before scowling. "House, this is a woman's bathroom!" she scolded.

"As if the sign on the men's room ever stopped you from walking in," he threw back at her.

She sputtered and then barked, "Get out now! Do your brainstorming or whatever this is, somewhere else!"

House just smiled irritatingly and walked around her, exiting the bathroom with Thirteen right on his heels. When he pulled open the door to his office and stepped inside, she followed, giving him a look that identified what had just happened was a clear illustration of her point.

"And you think I'd pay for her to get a massage," he remarked dryly, shaking his head.

Thirteen shrugged, seeing his point. "Maybe you should. Perhaps it would make her easier to work for."

"Fat chance," House muttered under his breath.

* * *

Late August, 2010

House printed out directions to the new place in Kendall Park for Wilson, Cameron, and Chase, passing them out on the 27th. He had the movers coming to the apartment at 8 a.m. the next morning to load up the piano, most of the furniture, and the majority of his boxes. The only items he had every intention of leaving behind included a box he didn't want anyone but himself to dig through, groceries for the weekend, a few toiletries and articles of clothing, his coffee table, bed, and couch; the last three being items he intended to toss as soon as he was out of the apartment. The majority of the furniture for the new place was scheduled for delivery midweek, as was the furniture for the baby's room which he'd been only too relieved to allow Cameron to pick out, grumbling loudly at the cost it came out to afterwards. He still needed a few other things but he figured it would keep for now.

Saturday morning found House protectively scrutinizing the movers and how they handled taking out his piano. Everything else he was much less particular about. By 11:30 a.m. he was pulling up at the new house, right behind the moving truck. He was not sure why he'd ended up choosing this house. It was kind of big and spacey for two but he liked its character, its idiosyncrasies, and the big yard was a definite plus, though it would mean more seasonal upkeep. The house itself was a two-story colonial, though it had been remodeled to break that mold and create bedrooms on the first floor. The previous owner had a daughter who was paralyzed following being thrown from a horse and so they'd remodeled, rather than move. The move had taken place several years after and the ramp that had been out front dismantled and taken away since.

From the front the house looked exactly as a colonial home should, with lots of symmetry and even a wraparound porch. The house was brick with white windows and shutters and a sloped roof coming out from the house to cover the porch area. The driveway curved up from the street and ended at the two-car garage which was attached to the home. The main entrance was centered at the front of the house and had a walkway that went out about fifteen feet before turning to lead to the driveway. Shrubs, flowers, and other plants were staggered directly in front of the house and contained by the walkway and driveway to the side. On the other side of the walkway and in front of the porch were several smaller shrubs. The lawn stretched out to the street, dotted here and there with more shrubs and trees. The street itself was quite a distance from the house, making House think he might not have to put in a fence. The backyard had several large maple trees and was edged with a row of evergreen trees separating his yard from his neighbor on the right. There was no barrier between his backyard and the neighbor to the left, except for a small garden, and the woods began where his backyard ended.

Immediately inside the front door the house opened up into a cream-colored high-ceilinged foyer with the wall to the right opening up a few feet away into a spacious grayish-blue living room with a brick fireplace. House had already given the movers directions on where he wanted the piano placed. To the left of the foyer was the formal dining room and directly ahead and to the left was the stairway that went up to the second story. Passing the foyer and stairway, on the right one reached what had once been the family room but which had now been converted into a bedroom House planned to use for the baby. To the left was another complete bathroom, along with the stairway leading down to the basement below. The house had also been expanded in the back to add a master bedroom and bath with a walk-in closet, all painted a toffee color. At the back of the house and to the left of the master bedroom was a pale yellow breakfast nook which opened up to a patio out back. The breakfast nook had a little eating bar all its own. The cranberry hued kitchen was to the left of the breakfast nook and via the kitchen you could return to the dining room at the front of the house or you could go to the laundry room, and beyond it, to the two-car garage with its own storage space/work area, though the laundry room also had a door leading to the backyard.

The cherry wood stairway in the foyer was carpeted and went up to a landing halfway in between the floors before turning to the right and going up another series of stairs. Once one arrived on the second floor, to the front of the house and the right of the stairway was a vaulted ceiling with a stained-glass chandelier. Directly in front of the stairway was the door to a mocha-colored spare bedroom, which would be immediately over the baby's room. To the left and above the master bedroom was another mocha-colored bedroom that House planned to use as a library/study. Next to it and alongside the back wall of the house was a light blue bathroom. Then, down a hallway was the door to what had been the original master bedroom with its own master bath alongside the back wall and through that, a walk-in closet that shared a wall with the bathroom back out in the hallway. House really had no idea what he would do with so much space but he figured it would work well if he ended up having to hire someone to help with the baby or if guests, or Wilson, came to stay.

Back on the first floor and directly after the bathroom was the stairway leading to the basement. The stairway ended in a large carpeted family room with a tiled kitchen directly off of that and another large room that could either function as a bedroom or a home office. There was also a bathroom.

Wilson showed up about fifteen minutes after House and the movers. House was already busy directing the movers with boxes so that once they'd waded through that they could reach the furniture beyond it. He pointed Wilson in the direction of the kitchen and he quickly got to work setting up lunch on the island while waiting for Chase and Cameron to show up. When they arrived House took everyone on a tour of the house and laughed when Chase questioned how it was possible he could afford a house like this. Cameron had a comment for everything and marveled at all the space. She liked the white trim in each room but what really got her was the kitchen with its cherry cabinets, its walk-in pantry, and granite-topped island and counter space. She told him he was in a chef's paradise. Wilson was more concerned about security and made a point of telling House he'd have to install security locks and alarms on the windows as well as the doors, especially as the wraparound porch extended to the room House intended to use for the baby and there was a set of windows that someone could easily climb through. House rolled his eyes but mentally took notes.

House came and went from the kitchen as everyone ate so that he could answer questions as the movers brought furniture in. He had thought he had a lot of stuff but it was surprising how empty rooms were even after the furniture was brought in. Granted, he still had a lot of furniture that wouldn't be delivered for a few days but all the same, there was a lot of space. He watched them carry in his piano, cringing as they did so. Quickly enough they had it set up in the corner of the living room, directly to the front of the house. His kid would have to learn to sleep through noise because House had no intention of not playing the piano simply because it was located in the room next to where the kid would be sleeping.

They ate and chatted while the movers finished unloading things and by 2 p.m. the movers were gone and the four of them were busy unpacking boxes in various parts of the house. House had the movers put everything that would go in the bedroom in the walk-in closet space so the room would be empty for the furniture to be brought in later on. Wilson was upstairs arranging the library, shelving books on the bookcases the movers had brought up. Chase and Cameron were in the kitchen and House had given them a general run-down of where he wanted everything, leaving them to it to go into the living room and arrange his guitars and music after plugging in his stereo to pump music through the house via the built-in speaker system that ran throughout the house.

He looked up sometime later from the box he was unsealing to find Wilson holding an envelope up for inspection. "What's this?" Wilson asked in curiosity.

House recognized it instantly as the envelope he'd tucked Cuddy's engagement ring in and written Lucas's name on. He was certain that was how it had caught Wilson's eye. "Where'd you find that?" he asked hesitantly instead of answering.

"It was wedged in your desk upstairs. I went to put your office supplies in the drawers and the drawer was stuck partway. It took me a little while to get it free," Wilson explained.

"That's Cuddy's engagement ring," House quietly muttered, low enough to be sure neither Chase nor Cameron would hear him.

"Why do you have it?" Wilson asked in surprise.

He let out a dry chuckle and then said, "Because I told her I wouldn't have sex with her until she took it off and she chucked it at me. I was supposed to get it back to Lucas but I haven't yet. My mind's been on other things. I actually forgot until now."

Wilson extended it to him and House took the envelope and folded it in half before he shoved it in his pocket. "Do you know where he is?" Wilson asked, his forehead wrinkled in hesitation.

House shook his head. "I know he left town after Christmas for a few days. Then he came back into town but took a case out of state shortly thereafter. I know he doesn't live where he did before and that Cuddy has no idea how to get a hold of him. But I haven't really kept tabs on him lately. He's a private detective. He can work wherever he wants. He might be close. He might not."

Wilson nodded. "What are you going to do with that ring?"

House sighed before rubbing a hand over his face. "I'll make some calls and see if I can't find someone who knows where he is or how I can get in touch with him. I don't really trust anyone else to take it to him for me so I suppose that dirty deed will fall to me. I imagine that was what Cuddy wanted when she threw it at me."

"Well, if you want me to do it, I will," Wilson offered. "It'd be one less thing you had to do."

"Thanks Wilson. I'll let you know," he replied, going back to the box he had just opened. Wilson cast one last glance his way before heading back upstairs to continue unpacking.

* * *

It was 6:30 p.m. when they finally finished the majority of the unpacking and everyone was exhausted. Chase and Wilson sat against the wall in the dining room drinking their beers while House and Cameron drank some iced tea she had brought with her. House was leaning against the wall, waiting for the pizza delivery guy to arrive. When the doorbell rang he shoved off the wall to get the door. Cameron took advantage of his absence to slip out the backdoor and go to her car. By the time she returned to the house the guys each had their mouths packed with pizza. She placed a large wrapped box up on the island and House gave her an inquiring look.

Chase swallowed and scolded her. "Cameron, you should have sent me out for that! You aren't supposed to do heavy lifting!"

"It doesn't weigh that much," she commented dryly before picking up a slice of pizza and taking a bite.

House watched Wilson's face cloud over and a moment later, realization dawning there. "You're pregnant?" he asked in shock.

Cameron looked House's way and then turned back to Wilson, smiling. "Yeah. But I'm not telling anyone. I'm not that far along yet."

Wilson shot a look in House's direction. "You KNEW?!"

He laughed. "When do I ever miss anything?" he asked tauntingly.

"Sorry, Wilson," Cameron said, shrugging. "He guessed. And he can keep his mouth shut."

"Hey!" Wilson declared, clearly miffed. "I've kept plenty of secrets this last year!" He rolled his eyes then and scowled at House. "I can't believe you didn't tell me!"

Chase looked at House and said, "I'll give you credit, you know how to keep secrets."

"Thank you," House replied, performing a mock bow before sending Wilson a smug look.

"When's your due date?" Wilson asked her, ignoring House now.

"Beginning of May," she answered, patting her still flat tummy affectionately.

Ready for a subject change, House turned to Cameron and nodded in the direction of the package she had set down, asking, "What's that?"

"A _House_warming gift," she quipped, intentionally stressing his name.

"Nice," he muttered, not impressed by her attempt at humor. "What's in it?"

"You'll find out when you open it," she teased.

House brushed his hands off and began to get up from the floor but Wilson shook his head. "Wait until after we eat. I have something in my car for you as well."

"Oh, you guys!" House exclaimed mockingly. "You're just too good to me!"

Chase laughed but rolled his eyes. "You haven't even seen what it is yet," he said pointedly, an eyebrow quirked. "It might suck."

"Hey!" Cameron exclaimed, reaching out to smack his chest. "Shut up!"

House looked from one to the other, somewhat amused and semi-speculative now. He refrained from commenting, filling his mouth with another large bite of pizza instead.

Wilson made a trip out to his car ten minutes later and set both gifts in front of House so that he wouldn't have to get up off the floor. He passed him a paper towel to wipe his hands on and both Cameron and Wilson waited with bated breath for House to open the presents. He shot a glance Chase's way and he just shrugged, indicating that it wasn't anything overly exciting. House pursed his lips but then smiled, reaching for Cameron's gift first.

He slowly ripped off the wrapping paper and opened the box within, his expression one of confusion when he saw what was inside. He reached in and pulled out a series of black and white frames, holding them up for Wilson to see.

"They're for you to use once the baby is born. That's not all of them but those are the frames I could fit in the box," Cameron explained before asking, "Do you remember the photographer we treated a few years back, Emma Sloan?"

"The pregnant one?" House asked, an eyebrow lifted.

She nodded. "I gave her a call and asked a favor. She said she'd love to take some shots for you. I offered to pay her but she said she'd prefer to do it for free as a thank you for saving her son."

Wilson was impressed and House laughed at the look on his face. "There are people out there who like me," he quipped.

Chase chuckled before commenting, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is about her kid. I think she could take you or leave you."

House pouted, causing them to laugh.

"Open mine," Wilson said eagerly.

House stared at him warily but reluctantly reached for the present. "Books?" he asked as he ripped the bow off and chucked it Wilson's way before peeling away the wrapping paper.

Wilson nodded in answer to his question but House was staring at the books, somewhat embarrassed. Chase started laughing hysterically. Cameron was smiling though. "Face it House," she said, "You need these."

"House, it's not like you aren't already reading…" Wilson began, his expression one of annoyance.

But House interrupted, the look he shot Wilson one that clearly spoke of impending death if he was to finish his sentence. Wilson immediately shut up but he looked peeved that House didn't react better to the gift.

House flipped through the books: one of baby names, another on the toddler years, and a third on fathering daughters. "Thanks guys," he reluctantly muttered.

Wilson huffed and reached for his jacket, digging in his pocket. "Fine! Here!" he stated roughly as he chucked an envelope his way.

House laughed at Wilson, his eyebrows raised at his outburst. But he picked up the envelope from where it had fallen on his leg and opened it. "Now this is what I'm talking about!" House instantly replied, his expression triumphant.

Wilson frowned but it was obvious that he'd been mollified by House's reaction to the envelope.

"What is it?" Cameron asked in interest.

House waved them in the air. "Tickets to a monster truck demolition derby," he replied smugly.

"How is that a housewarming gift?" Cameron asked, looking at Wilson.

"Oh, give Wilson a break," House stated. "Buddy, you've warmed the cockles of my heart. That makes it the best '_House_warming' gift ever!" he finished in a goofy voice, mocking Cameron's joke from earlier.

Chase rolled his eyes while Cameron picked herself up off the floor and began to collect trash.

"I actually have something for you too, House," Chase admitted then.

House shot a surprised look his way, not having expected that. "Seriously?" he asked.

Chase shrugged. "Why not?"

"What did you get him?" Cameron asked from across the room, bemused as she hadn't known that before.

Chase pulled out his wallet and removed a business card from within. "It's not really that big a deal," he said calmly. "It won't beat monster truck tickets on the happiness scale."

House held out his hand, his expression revealing his curiosity. Chase handed the business card to him and explained, "It's kind of similar to Cameron's gift in that in involves pictures. But this is the business card to a photography studio in Trenton, NJ that specializes on taking pictures of dads with their kids." He shrugged. "I don't mean normal family portraits. What they do is more like the Anne Geddes thing on a man's scale, but not at all feminine and cutesy. They take pictures of dads and their kids with whatever background and props you want. I saw a portrait in the studio of this big, burly biker astride a Harley with his kid strapped to his back dressed up in motorcycle gear. But that's just an example. You name it, they probably have it. The way I found out about this place is because I met a guy who had a big portrait hanging in his study of he and his two daughters with hunting rifles and a big carcass of a deer between them, blood pooling everywhere. It was a little gross but he's a hunter and his kids loved getting their picture taken while being a part of daddy's hobby of choice. And they'll travel. If you want to get your picture in a monster truck, they can probably find a way to do it."

Cameron gave her husband a wry look but House was actually contemplating the idea. "Cool," he replied, studying the business card. "Thanks."

Chase smiled. "No problem. They've got your name written down so all you'd have to do is go in and mention me to set up an appointment. I've already paid for the sitting fee and basic package but you can add or alter it and they'll just credit what I paid towards your purchase. And the website is on the back in case you want to check out some of the portraits they've done."

Wilson chuckled dryly and everyone turned to look at him. "I think you should just promise us that you won't call them and arrange to have your picture taken in a surgical procedure room while wearing green protective scrubs and a white facemask, the baby on the table and knives spread out all around you."

Cameron groaned. "Don't give him ideas," she replied worriedly.

House laughed and got to his feet, slapping Wilson on the back. "I kind of like that idea," he said then, causing a concerned look to immediately take up residency in Wilson's expression.

"I was joking, House," he informed him hurriedly.

"Sure you were," he replied. "Sure you were."

Cameron decided it was time for a subject change. "Have you started thinking of names yet? You really should be prepared. You've only got a few weeks remaining before this baby arrives."

House's eyes widened as he suddenly realized she was right.

Wilson noticed and sharply said, "See? You'll be glad I bought you that baby name book!"

He shot him a dirty look and quipped, "I'm not even going to crack the binding on that thing. I'll just go through all the names I know and pick one."

"What names?" Wilson asked warily. "Most of the women you know you either call by their last names, have personally nicknamed, or are strippers. If I have to I'll drug you once the baby's born so you can't write the name on the birth certificate. Then I will choose a name for you."

House raised an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth going up. "And what would you name my kid?"

"Not Taffy," Wilson informed him, rolling his eyes.

Cameron laughed but then looked at her watch. "I think we're going to head out. It's been a long day."

House nodded. "Yeah. Me too. I'm too old and too crippled for this."

"If you think you're too old and crippled for moving, just wait until you're caring for a newborn in the middle of the night," Wilson taunted.

"Go home," House testily told him. "You've been here a day and I'm already at the point of kicking you out of my house."

Wilson just smiled. "I'm sure you'll be begging me to move in with you in no time," he quipped. "You'll miss me now that it'll take you twice as long to get to my apartment as before."

"Yeah, because twenty minutes is such a strain comparing to the ten minutes it took before," House returned, his voice thick with sarcasm.

Chase took out the trash while Cameron and Wilson went around the house, turning off lights and locking doors. House waited at the front door for the two of them and they exited together, House locking up the house behind them, then tossing the key up in the air before pocketing it. Chase was waiting on the porch and he took Cameron's hand, walking alongside her to the car as they called out their goodbyes.

House thanked them for coming, genuinely grateful for the help.

Wilson said goodbye and then looked at House. "Do you want me to drive you home? Is your leg acting up?"

House shrugged. "No, it's not too bad. But I'm exhausted. If you don't care, I think I will take you up on the offer. I'll leave the car here and come back for it tomorrow."

Wilson nodded and led the way to his car, hitting the key fob to unlock the doors as Chase and Cameron pulled out of the driveway. "It's a great house," he commented then. "And you're right. It's not that far away."

"No, it's not. That's definitely a plus," House acknowledged.

"Are you going to tell Cuddy where you are moving to?" Wilson carefully asked.

He looked at him before climbing in the car, waiting until Wilson was in and they'd both buckled their seatbelts to reply. "No. I don't think so. What would be the point?"

"I don't know," Wilson said, starting the car and pulling out of the driveway a moment later. "I just wasn't sure if you were still serious about walking out of her life."

House sighed and then said, "I signed the agreement. She's the one who made the amendment. I just agreed to honor it. It's not like she wants me in her life, Wilson. It's not like it would be good for me to be in her life, either. A clean cut might be the best thing for us. I told you I'd walk away. But you'll know where I am. If something happens, you'll know how to get in touch with me."

Wilson nodded and then inquired, "If she changes her mind and wants to get in touch with you, will you be open to the idea?"

He turned and stared out the window, watching the houses pass by. Finally he murmured, "I don't know, Wilson. I don't know."

* * *

House sat in the car with his eyes closed, pretending to be asleep though he was really thinking about the conversation earlier while they were all seated on the floor in the kitchen. When Cameron and Wilson had brought up the fact that time was running out and he'd need a name soon, House had realized how preoccupied he'd been with surviving Cuddy's pregnancy and how much he'd overlooked all that was to come. It wasn't that he hadn't been thinking about all he needed to do to prepare for the baby's arrival, nor that Wilson hadn't mentioned it a time or two, which really should have prodded him into thinking of this. It was just that he hadn't given much thought to the baby not coming with a nametag attached to her ankle. Having to come up with a name on his own had never really penetrated his thoughts more than superficially. But now that they'd brought the subject up it was all he could think about. How in the world did one choose a name without ever laying eyes on the person you were naming? And how come every name he came up with ended with -y or an -ie sound? He sighed, his eyes shutting in annoyance as he tried to block out the truth that the names of strippers he'd met over the years WERE the female names that came most readily to his mind. Otherwise, just as Wilson had said, most of the women who had been in his life recently were ones he referred to by their last names. Not their first.

Caramel didn't end with –y or –ie, he thought then before groaning. He was so hopeless! In that moment House really hoped it wouldn't come down to Wilson and Cameron naming the baby for him. He didn't want to one day be forced to explain why someone else had named his own kid.

Wilson glanced his way, somewhat concerned by the groan. But House didn't move and he thought maybe he genuinely was asleep. He smiled, thinking of the changes ahead, certain that the positive ones would easily outweigh the negatives. Anyway, he hoped that was the case. It was time House had some happiness thrown in the mix that made up his life.

* * *

Wilson dropped House off at his apartment and then drove away, heading for home. House unlocked his apartment and walked in, not bothering with the lights as the apartment was pretty empty now and the walk to the bathroom unimpeded. He took a quick shower and then brushed his teeth before putting on a pair of clean boxers and pulling a t-shirt over his head, finally heading back to the couch to channel surf for a while. After about a half hour he turned the TV off and settled in on the couch, trying to get comfortable. Five minutes later he went to the bedroom, retrieving his pillow and blanket from the bed. Then he returned to the couch, ready to get some sleep and stop thinking for a while.

* * *

It was the middle of the night and House lay sprawled out on his couch in the apartment, unable to sleep, his mind occupied ironically with thoughts about how this was one of his last nights sleeping here. He supposed he could have camped out at the house tonight but the furniture he'd ordered wouldn't arrive until the 31st and lying on the floor in a foreign place hadn't appeal to him all that much. Also, part of him wanted to stay here because as much as he needed and wanted to walk away from this place and the memories, change still failed to come easy, even if it held promise of a better life than the one he was intending to walk away from. So he'd spend his final nights here and then have the excuse of his rental agreement expiring to propel him into taking that step of settling himself in a new place.

Turning over, he spotted in the moonlight the box of mementos from his relationship with Cuddy over the years, poking out from under the coffee table. He hadn't opened it since the day after he and Cuddy had conceived the baby that was now so close to making its grand entrance into the world, when he'd acted horribly sentimental and lingered over each item like a dying man. He reached for it now, dragging it a foot or so by a corner across the floor until it was next to the couch and he could pry it open without effort. He'd kept it separate when packing up so as to avoid anyone else stumbling upon it and opening it up by mistake. A moment later he flipped through randomly, looking for the stack of pictures. He was tempted to throw the whole box out but he couldn't do that, even after everything. He told himself that it was because one day his daughter would want to know about her mother and he'd have an easier time giving her the box than talking about the good and bad times they'd shared, personally dwelling on the emotions that would stir up. But the truth was that was just part of it. He couldn't get rid of these items any more than he could erase them from his memory. Not after hanging onto them so long despite everything.

The photos slipped from his fingers and scattered silently across the floor. House rolled closer to the edge to reach down and collect them but one in particular caught his eye and that was the only one he ended up lifting from where it lay. Rolling onto his back he stared at it, holding it a few inches from his face. A soft smile touched his lips as he drank it in like a thirsty man; only instead of thirst what he wanted to quench was the absence in his life of the Cuddy he had once known.

The picture was one of several he'd taken by setting the camera on top of a nearby stake while on a timer, starting its countdown before sprinting back to Cuddy's side. It was from their trip to Georgia during spring break at the very end of their time there, when she'd begged and pleaded to stop at the Georgia state line to snap a picture of the two of them in front of the large wooden sign to remember their visit by. He'd hoisted her up to sit on top of the giant peach, despite the sign nearby asking that visitors NOT climb on it. And in the photo he was directly to the side of her, completely oblivious to the timer expiring despite being the one to set it, his attention too intently focused on Cuddy. He remembered how someone had finally scolded them for breaking the rules and how Cuddy had blushed in embarrassment but he'd just laughed it off, helping her down before allowing her hand to remain in his as she led him back to his motorcycle, her eyes shining happily.

As his gaze stayed focused on the picture, the sign proclaiming "Welcome To Georgia – We're Glad You Have Georgia On Your Mind" caught his attention. For the first time in a long time he remembered how one of the songs they'd danced to during their time there was "Georgia On My Mind" and how he'd sang the lyrics softly in her ear as they danced, intending to one day bring her back there. "There'll always be Georgia," he'd dramatized in a deep baritone, as if he was a movie star with some corny line that would be remembered throughout the ages just because of how he'd said it. Cuddy had reached up, trailing her fingertips affectionately on his face from his forehead down to his cheeks and then to his mouth as she smiled and murmured another line from the song, "the road leads back to you." They'd both rolled their eyes then, laughing at how cheesy they were being. But in remembering House now knew what he'd name his daughter. Because all this time, perhaps the road he and Cuddy had travelled over the years was one meant to lead not to them being together but to her, this kid of theirs. After all, as much as he sometimes wanted to blot Cuddy out of his history, she was interwoven in it and always would be. So in the middle of the night it was easy to allow for the sentimentality of such a naming. Besides, girls liked that sort of thing, House thought to himself. Though he definitely intended to tell Wilson he'd picked the name because he'd secretly always wanting to have a son named George House and this was his compromise.

-----

"_**Georgia, Georgia,  
The whole day through  
Just an old sweet song  
Keeps that Georgia on my mind, on my mind**_

_**I said Georgia  
Mmm, Georgia  
A song of you  
Comes as sweet and clear  
As moonlight through the pines**_

_**You know it does, baby**_

_**Other arms reach out to me  
Other eyes smile tenderly  
Still in peaceful dreams I see  
The road leads back to you**_

_**Ooh, I… Georgia  
Georgia, no peace I find  
Just an old sweet song, old sweet song  
Keeps Georgia on my mind**_

_**Oh, just an old sweet song**_

_**Keeps Georgia on my mind  
There'll always be Georgia"**_

* * *

Song: "Georgia On My Mind" (Michael Bublé)

_

* * *

_

(No such wooden sign exists to my knowledge; not with a giant peach attached. But I think it should, so in my story it does._)_


	27. The News

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Some really long chapters lately! Yikes! This one ends kinda sad, but hey, September can be sad. Lots of changes.)_

_(Wow!! I really wonder how many people are reading this story! To have three comments from people from Georgia is pretty cool! And yeah, I love Ray Charles version and will probably always think of it as his song, but I love Michael Buble too! Yes, I have the middle name picked out and you know, I'm really excited about it. But no, it has nothing to do with Lisa or James - I just feel like that's done all the time in fanfiction and it wasn't my thing. But it has a reason too and you'll know why a few chapters from now. YES! This IS a Huddy fiction and will end with a Huddy ending. BUT..."happy ever after" is a long way off and I'm sure most of you will want my head by the time we get there - though I will say, being that I update every day, at least it won't be months from now. Oh, and sorry this update is so late in the day! Internet wasn't working and it took a while to figure out the problem! Happy reading and PLEASE comment!)_

* * *

September, 2010

House left early the following Wednesday so that he could be at the new house when the furniture was delivered. He had slept at the new place in one of his chairs the night before and then gone in early to do paperwork and check on the patient. He told his team to call him on his cell phone when they got the MRI back before driving out to the house. House then watched the delivery guys carry in a vast assortment of lamps and lights to be placed throughout the house, a couple flat screen TVs, the leather couch and matching chairs for the living room, the dishwasher and washing machine for the laundry room, the fridge and dishwasher for the kitchen, the couches and chairs for the family room in the basement, the maple and cherry Appalachian hardwood dining room set: table, chairs, cabinet, smartwall, buffet, and baker's rack, the bedroom sets for the master bedroom upstairs and his own: sleigh beds, bureaus, dressers, bedside tables, mirrors, a bench for the bedroom upstairs and a chair for his, and finally, the furniture for the baby's room: the crib he still had to assemble, dresser, small bookcase, lamps, and changing table. Once he'd tipped the delivery guys he got to work dragging all the cardboard, foam, and plastic wrapping the furniture had been delivered in out to the garage. The cable company showed up at 4:30 p.m. to hook up his TV, internet, and telephone service and while they were busy installing the system, House continued picking up so that by 6 p.m. the house looked fairly decent. Rolling his neck and shoulders, he took one final look around before grabbing his keys to drive to the grocery store and purchase food goods to stock the fridge and pantry, stopping on the way home at a Chinese restaurant not too far from the house for takeout and a menu for the fridge.

After unloading the groceries he settled in front of the mounted flat screen, eating while he flipped through the assortment of channels in his cable plan. He set up TiVo to record his soap, as well as a few shows that caught his attention, and then hit the power button to get back to work.

House threw his leftovers in the fridge and grabbed a Coke before heading down the hall to the bedroom. His first order of business was to make his bed, simply because he'd be too exhausted to do it after the other items on his list to tackle. He grabbed the packaged 300 thread-count sheets he'd bought Sunday and opened them, intending to put them right on the bed. Then he sighed, not liking the plastic smell that seemed to permeate them and carried them to the top-loading washing machine, tossing them within. Might as well try everything out, he thought to himself. House returned to the bedroom then for the package of sheets for the bed upstairs, deciding to throw them in at the same time. Finally he poured in some detergent and started up the washing machine before heading to the baby room.

House leaned against the wall for a minute, drinking his Coke and staring at the intimidating box containing the Larkin fixed gate sleigh crib. He headed to the kitchen to grab a knife and to the garage to find some tools before returning to the box and easing himself down to the ground to begin prying away tape. He grabbed the directions and set them aside, not really intending to use them. But then he thought it was probably pretty important that the crib get assembled correctly and so he reached for his cell phone, intending to make Wilson drive out and do this for him, but tucked it back in his pocket a minute later without dialing, gritting his teeth, committing himself to accomplishing this task on his own. An hour later the crib was assembled and up against the wall and his sheets in the dryer. He cast one more smug glance around the room, quite proud of himself, and then made a note to have Cameron come out and take down measurements for the curtains. If she was going to work for him within a few months time, she might as well get back in the habit of doing whatever needed to be done.

* * *

Cuddy was now going to the doctor on a weekly basis. If she had felt disproportioned before, now she felt like she was of mammoth proportions. Her duck waddle didn't make her feel any better. Nothing did. Except that her due date was slowly crawling closer and she was down to a few weeks, rather than months.

The belly was always in her way. She'd forget about it for a split-second and then be quickly reminded of her status when she bumped into counters as she reached for glasses from the cabinet or leaned forward at her desk to reach pens that had rolled away from her. She'd suddenly realize her belly was an obstacle and left her unable to reach that far. Then, if people had touched her belly a lot before when she was just starting to show, now they were touching her ALL the time. Even when she was in her own home she couldn't avoid hands on her belly. Rachel would try and touch her whenever she could, not understanding what was going on to her mother's tummy and naturally curious about it. Cuddy was always quick to redirect her attention elsewhere. But if Rachel was unhappy about that and threw a fit, Cuddy couldn't even pick her up anymore. The belly just made it too complicated. The belly made everything complicated. Cuddy had "The Belly" near the top of her "To Get Rid Of" list. Directly after "Greg House."

* * *

September 3rd, 2010

House reached for his cell phone and then slipped out of the conference room to take the call from Dr. Amundsen in his office.

"House here," he greeted.

"Hello Dr. House," the doctor replied. "I'm just calling to check in after this week's appointment. Things are looking good. The heartbeat is right in the middle of the normal range and the baby dropped but Dr. Cuddy's not dilating yet."

House had noticed that the baby had dropped the day before. "How's Cuddy doing?" he asked, not having seen her much that week.

"I brought up anti-depressants again, though this week she seemed a little better, maybe because she's close now. I suggested Lamaze classes once more but she rejected that idea just as quickly as I voiced it. She did ask that I inform anyone who will be in the delivery room of the circumstances. Dr. Cuddy doesn't want to see or hold the baby. She asked that someone immediately remove the baby from the room after the birth," Dr. Amundsen admitted, his tone grim but to the point.

"She actually said 'the baby,'" House asked in surprise.

"Uh, no," the doctor began apologetically. "Sorry. I believe she just called the baby 'it' like she usually does at appointments."

House grew quiet for a moment and then said, "Well, thank you for calling me. I'll hear from you next week?"

"Maybe you should go to Lamaze classes by yourself," Dr. Amundsen hesitantly suggested.

House chuckled dryly. "I don't think so. If Cuddy wanted me to go with her, I would. But to go alone? No way."

"Okay. Have a nice day, Dr. House," Dr. Amundsen said in acknowledgement.

"You too," House replied courteously before hanging his phone up. He stared out his window for a moment, contemplating the idea of Lamaze classes. No. Definitely not. He and Cuddy would have to muddle through this delivery on their own. He sincerely doubted Lamaze classes would make the delivery room experience any more bearable for either of them.

While he sat there, he remembered he had another call to make. Searching through his phone directory for the contact he needed, he hit talk and waited for the call to go through.

A man answered and House sighed before saying, "Hey Charlie. Greg House here. I need a favor. Could you find someone for me?"

* * *

September 7th, 2010

"House, just tell me what you're going to name this kid," Wilson demanded for the fifth time the following Monday while they sat in the cafeteria eating a late lunch.

He rolled his eyes but dug in his pocket, removing a piece of paper a moment later.

Wilson reached for it but House jerked it away just to annoy his friend a little more. The second time he extended it Wilson moved faster and grabbed it from him. Straightening the paper out, he looked at it and then up at House, his expression revealing the fact that he was not amused. "What is this?" he asked, glaring at his friend.

"It's my list. I've got in narrowed down to ten. I think that's pretty good," House replied casually, shrugging.

Wilson cleared his throat and looked at House once more before reading aloud House's apparent options: "Sugar-pie. Honey-bun. Sweet-cheeks. Puddin'. Dumpling. Applesauce. Cotton-candy. Caramel-corn. Red-and-delicious. Brown-sugar." Glancing over the top of the sheet at his friend, he dryly commented, "These aren't names. They're dessert items. And I'm pretty sure Brown-sugar would mislead people and get you in trouble for naming your kid after a racial stereotype or something. And moreover, who hyphenates a first name that is in actuality two or three words? If it's illegal to name your kid a number, don't you think the system might take issue with your choice names?"

"That's what's wrong with the government today. They go on and on about our liberty and rights but then make all these rules to keep us from exercising said liberties and rights. Can't name your kid a number. Geesh! Think of where Thirteen would be if I didn't overrule them on that one. Oh, I have some choice names for the system," House huffed, causing Wilson to chuckle lightly before the sour expression returned to his face.

House sighed dramatically before mumbling sadly, "Okay. Here's my back-up list."

He reached in his shirt pocket this time and removed another list. Wilson took it and narrowed his eyes at House before unfolding it. He looked it over and then crushed the list in his fist, chucking it back at House.

"Hey! What was wrong with that one?!" House protested, picking it up from where it had landed to straighten it out and then flatten it by running it back and forth over the table edge.

Wilson shook his head but took it back from House, reading it aloud as he had the first. "Tom. Dick. Harry. Aristotle. Henry the 8th. Methuselah. Caesar. Alexander the Great, Jr. James. John."

House laughed and Wilson pursed his lips before saying, "Seriously House. Come on."

House grinned broadly. "What's wrong with those?! They are actual names of people!"

"First of all, I'd throw that whole list out as you being a prick and jerking my chain based solely on your inclusion of John. You wouldn't name your kid after your father in a million years! Second of all, the rest are ridiculous! You're having a girl by the way. The only one that has any potential is my name, which you could change to Jamie so that it's actually a girl's name," Wilson said, tilting his head from side to side as he weighed the idea. "Yeah. You should name your kid after me come to think of it," he continued. "You owe me for all the food you've stolen from my plate over the years, along with all the suffering I do while putting up with you. That would be a nice tribute to my role in your life."

House gave him a hard stare, his expression telling Wilson there was no way he'd ever name his kid after him. "Wilson, that has to be the gayest idea ever. People already question our relationship because you're such a girl. They'd never believe I'm straight if I suddenly had a kid and named her after you."

Wilson chuckled but then looked up as Cameron came over to their table, water bottle in hand, sliding over on the booth so that she could have a seat because he knew House wouldn't.

She sat down and glanced at the papers in front of Wilson, uncapping her water bottle to take a sip before asking, "What are those?"

"House's top baby names," Wilson replied dryly, handing them to her when she reached out an eager hand. Cameron reviewed the top one and then started laughing. "Alexander the Great Jr.? House…"

He smiled and then reached out to point at the list. "No, I'm really leaning towards Methuselah . I thought I'd call her Meth for short."

"That does sound like something you'd do. Name your kid after an illicit drug," she quipped, an eyebrow raised.

He nodded smugly. "It really has potential."

"You don't think when she begins school and people see her name on the register as Meth House, the Feds will come pounding on your door?" Cameron inquired.

House thought it over and then nodded in agreement. "Good point. Caesar it is."

"Again," Wilson exclaimed. "May I remind you that this baby is going to be a girl?"

"I think you mentioned that once before," House dryly replied. "Let's play a game and see how many times it takes you saying that to get me to offer you names you want to hear."

"I'm surprised you don't have Greg Jr. on this list," Cameron mused somewhat sarcastically, taking another drink from her water bottle.

"That's because there's already a Greg Jr.," he taunted, his eyebrows raising and lowering suggestively.

Cameron choked on her water, causing House to draw back in fear she'd spew it on him, while Wilson threw his hands up in the air in irritation with House's lack of censorship.

"Oh for the love of…" Wilson muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes over House's inability to be mature.

Cameron continued coughing, though she managed to disgustedly murmur, "Too much information!"

House looked back and forth between the two, clearly amused.

"Would you grow up?" Wilson haughtily said then.

House wiped the amusement from his expression and exclaimed, "I was referring to my cane. You people have got to get your minds out of the gutter! Honestly, this is the workplace," looking at them as if he had no idea how he had ended up seated next to two reprobates, shooting them both scathing looks.

"Yeah, right. You were just talking about your cane. Sure," Wilson caustically commented.

"Wilson, if there's one conclusion I've come to in recent months," Cameron began, turning to look at him and smile. "It's that I'll take a snarky, sarcastic House any day over the alternative."

Wilson exhaled in frustration, but nodded before leaning back in the booth. "This is hopeless though," he remarked. "Look at the names he comes up with." He threw his head back, staring at the ceiling in despair.

Cameron just bit her lip and flipped to the second page. "I suppose at least these are a little more feminine," she replied caustically once she'd reviewed the list.

"Wilson says Brown-sugar is an unacceptable name. I think that's awfully racist of him," House told her soberly, tsk-tsking Wilson a moment later.

Cameron laughed and then handed the lists back to him as House slid out of the booth to go back to work. She got to her feet to allow Wilson out and walked with them towards the door.

As they crossed the almost deserted cafeteria and passed by the garbage, House threw away the wrapper his food had come in and dropped off his tray. Wilson snatched House's lists from where they were poking out of his pocket and tossed them in the garbage as well.

"Hey!" House protested, stopping to pull them back out. "You can't throw those out! I'll need them. They've got to be tucked away in the baby book for posterity."

Wilson made a face. "Like you're going to keep a baby book."

"I'm not. Cameron is," House corrected, smirking.

"House, I picked out the baby furniture for you and you've already got me coming by this weekend to take measurements to purchase curtains for the windows in your house. I've even begun constructing a list of all the things you'll need in the house once the baby is born. If I fill out a baby book for you too this might as well be my kid," she said as she rolled her eyes.

"Well, if you don't want to be listed as her godmother or whatever they call it these days, fine by me," House said noncommittally as if it didn't bother him in the least, leaning forward to push the door open and head out into the hall.

Cameron grabbed his arm, pulling him to a halt before they could exit the cafeteria. "I do!" she exclaimed breathlessly.

"Then you have to fill out the baby book," he replied seriously. "The kid should have one and you know I'M not going to do it."

"Hey, what about me?" Wilson asked then, shooting a dirty look at House.

"You're not a woman, hence, you can't be a godmother," he replied pointedly.

Wilson shook his head and said, "No, but I should be her godfather."

House studied him a moment, his mouth pursed to the side. Then he shook his head. "Nah, you aren't pulling your weight in this pregnancy."

Rolling his eyes Wilson dryly remarked, "I've gained more weight with this pregnancy than you have."

Cameron laughed when House somberly said, "Yes, I have noticed that. It's because you've turned into a stress eater. And believe me when I tell you, it's not attractive. Not attractive at all."

"Come on House!" Wilson complained before trying to negotiate. "I'll… I'll go out and buy the stuff Cameron puts on the list for you."

"Deal!" House replied immediately, reaching for Wilson's hand to shake it firmly.

He sighed and sent a withering look his friend's way. "You were going to have me be godfather anyway, weren't you?"

"Yep. But now you've saved my pocketbook a few thousand dollars. I think all in all it's a fair trade," House quipped contentedly.

Wilson puffed out his cheeks before exhaling. "Alright, but you have to come with me when I buy all that stuff."

"Oh!" He pouted whiningly. "But then we'll look like a gay couple!"

Wilson shook his head despairingly but said, "Tough. I can't push more than one cart."

Cameron laughed. "I'll have the list ready for you guys this weekend so that you can shop while I go out and buy curtains. I've talked Chase into painting the baby's room for you while I shop. But don't worry. I promise the paint is green. Not pink."

House sighed resignedly but opened the door for Cameron and Wilson to exit ahead of him, thankful that at least things were getting done and as far as their shopping went, it was Wilson's checkbook that would be taking a hit this time.

"Are you ever going to come up with an acceptable name?" Wilson asked next.

House laughed before saying, "Not anytime soon. I'm enjoying the process of slowly driving you crazy too much to do that."

* * *

September 9th, 2010

House knocked on Cuddy's office door and then stepped in when she called him in without glancing up. It had taken him this long to get up the courage to ask what he was here to ask, but that didn't mean he was ready to get the asking over with. He nonchalantly closed the door behind him, walking to sit in the chair across from her. Cuddy glanced up at him when he sat down and stretched her hand out across the desk. "File?" she said pointedly, assuming he was here about a patient.

"No. My patient's stable and the team are still waiting on the results from the tests you signed off on this morning," he replied.

"Then what are you doing here House? I have a lot to get done."

House pursed his lips and looked away uneasily. "I just wanted to ask a question."

"What is it?" she asked through her clenched teeth, her eyes already back on the paperwork she was laboring over.

"There's a Lamaze class next Monday night at Princeton General. I wondered if you'd…" he began.

Cuddy laughed, her voice edged with irony. "You think I want to go to Lamaze classes with you?!"

House's mouth formed a firm line and he took a moment to mask his anger before muttering, "I'm just offering."

"Well don't," she replied, casting a dark glance his way.

He nodded and got to his feet, heading for the doorway. House paused halfway there, suddenly having another concern. "Who's going to watch Rachel while you're in the hospital?" he asked thoughtfully, thinking he could probably talk Wilson into doing it.

But Cuddy had it already planned out. "I've got a nanny who said she'll clear her schedule for me when the time comes. She'll stay with Rachel for a few days."

House nodded, curious about whether the nanny actually expected her to bring a baby home from the hospital with her afterwards or if Cuddy had already informed her that wouldn't be the case. He supposed it wasn't really his business. "How are you feeling?" he asked then, genuinely interested.

She glanced up at him, her eyebrows raised. "Like I have a lot of things to do and not much time to accomplish them in," she replied, her fuse short. "Now if I could get back to work…"

"Yeah. No problem. See you, Cuddy," he murmured dispassionately. Then he turned and walked out of her office, closing the door behind him. House stood out there in the clinic for a minute until he felt the nurses glancing his way in curiosity. House clenched his jaw and limped in the direction of the elevator to head to Pathology and see if his team knew anything yet. Only a little over a week of the strange looks from staff and Cuddy's sullen behavior left to go, he reminded himself as he walked across the lobby.

* * *

September 11th, 2010

Cameron was over bright and early Saturday morning, taking measurements and writing them down. He had really only meant for her to tackle the baby's bedroom and maybe his own, but Cameron was thorough and she made her way around the house, making notations as she went. House eyed her warily, afraid she'd come back with flowery, girly stuff. Cameron enjoyed his discomfort, adamantly telling him that he was stuck with whatever she bought because he could be doing this himself and wasn't. House apparently didn't care enough to take her off the job. Or maybe he just knew he could return it if it didn't satisfy him with its masculinity. By 11:30 a.m. she had headed on her way with a spare key to the house in hand, Chase had the room taped, tarped, and ready to paint, and Wilson was en route to meet him for a bite to eat. Then the plan was to conquer the list Cameron had entrusted to him, rather than House, worried that he'd cross off half the things on there.

* * *

By 1 p.m. House found himself pushing a shopping cart around Babies 'R Us directly behind Wilson's cart. He rammed him with it on occasion whenever he thought Wilson was dawdling too long, causing Wilson to threaten him with bodily harm. It didn't take long for him to wise up though and circle around an aisle to take position behind House instead. The big items Wilson would drop off at the front of the store which decreased the weight and increased the space available in the carts, but House thought it made it awful difficult to estimate how much junk they'd already set aside. Wilson had borrowed a pick-up truck from a friend but House still wasn't sure how they'd manage to fit all this stuff in the back.

House noticed Wilson grabbing two car seats and sighed. "I'm only having one kid, Wilson."

"Yeah well, you'll need a spare in case I'm ever watching your kid while you're gone and have to take her somewhere. It'll be a pain to have to constantly move a car seat back and forth from one car to another," he replied dryly.

House shrugged, deciding he had a good point. "Whatever. It's your money," he stated evenly.

Wilson rolled his eyes and House smirked back at him.

The smirk left his face when Wilson started chucking boxes of diapers by the truckload into his cart. "Just remember, I'm buying these but you're changing them when they're dirty," Wilson shot back at him, laughing at House's horrified expression.

"Don't you think one box of newborn diapers is enough? The kid is going to grow. It won't be in newborn diapers the whole first year," House muttered.

Wilson looked at him like he was insane. "You do realize you have to change the baby's diaper every few hours at least, right?"

House sputtered, taken aback. "No! I don't see why the kid can't be in the same diaper all day. If she doesn't like it, she'll be potty-trained all that much sooner."

"House, so help me… You better not be serious. You're a doctor for Pete's sake! You have to change the baby ALL the time!" For good measure, Wilson added another box.

House groaned, his shoulders sagging. "Fine!" he bit out moodily before pushing the cart away. Wilson reluctantly followed him.

They made another trip up to the front to park their full carts near the register before grabbing new ones to pick up where they had left off.

"You know tomorrow is Grandparent's Day," Wilson said then. "Have you told your mom about the baby yet?"

"First of all, why in the world would you know that tomorrow is Grandparent's Day?" House asked sharply. "And secondly, are you crazy?! If I tell my mom that she's going to be a grandma, she'll hop aboard the first flight she can catch and be knocking at my door five hours later. No thanks!"

"You're going to have to tell her eventually," Wilson replied. "What are you going to do? Try and hide the kid from her for the rest of her life?"

"Well, that's one idea. I don't see her that much as it is. I could probably swing it," he responded seriously.

Wilson gave him a dirty look, shaking his head. "Don't make me tell your mother."

"Oh, please! Anything but that! Don't tell my mom! She might…spank me!" House mocked, cowering as if in terror.

"If she had spanked you, you might have turned out better," Wilson commented sarcastically.

He smiled. "She did. It didn't work."

"Seriously though, when are you going to tell her? You know, it's a great way to save yourself some money. Grandma's love to spoil their grandkids. I bet you can even teach your kid to ask for the toys you want to play with but not pay for."

House chuckled. "I'll tell her," he admitted a moment later. "I just want to wait until the kid is born. Otherwise she really will be here tomorrow and there's no way I could keep her from Cuddy. I did give my word to not tell people during the pregnancy who didn't need to be involved."

Wilson nodded, accepting the answer. "She'll kill you for not telling her earlier, though."

"She'll kill you too. Don't forget that," House reminded him, shooting him a pointed look. "You're on her list of people she holds accountable to keep her informed."

Wilson sighed, knowing it probably would come back around to him in the end.

"What is that thing?" House asked a moment later, when Wilson set a boxed up container of some sort into his cart.

"A diaper wipe warmer. It's on Cameron's list."

"How does that qualify as an essential?" he asked skeptically.

"How the heck should I know?" Wilson replied in irritation. "Just shut up already."

House did.

* * *

Wilson waited until the end to head over to the clothing racks and House rolled his eyes as Wilson pulled girly, floofy dresses off the rack, setting them in his cart out of House's reach.

House waited until he was distracted to remove a stack and put them on a nearby shelf. Unfortunately, when they passed that same shelf five minutes later Wilson spotted the pile, looked at them in confusion and then in the cart before sighing and grabbing them, shoving them deeper into the cart than they had been previously.

"Wilson," House whined. "My kid can't wear clothes like that!"

"House, your kid can't just wear a diaper and t-shirts with slogans that say something like '_Did your mom forget to change your diaper? Because you stink!_' all the time."

House scoffed. "My kid will hardly have a t-shirt that dorky. I was thinking more along the lines of '_Check My Flow! Uhhh!!!_'"

"Well, you spend your money on that and I'll invest my money in clothing that is gender-relevant," he replied wryly. "I know there will be no chance of us buying duplicates if I go that route."

House grumbled and decided to head off on his own for a while and see what he could find to entertain himself with. Wilson watched him go, an eyebrow lifted, eyes squinted, and his lips pursed. He only hoped House wouldn't get into too much trouble and he congratulated himself for only putting in House's cart things that House had seemed halfway interested in or which he had no choice but to buy. He also realized that this was probably one of the safest stores for House to peruse through. There weren't a whole lot of questionable items for House to pick up and throw in the cart.

* * *

House found Wilson at the register an hour later, having been paged over the intercom system to please come to the front of the store as his party was awaiting him there. Wilson started unloading the cart while House limped over to camp out on a bench until he was done at the register. He eyed the quantity of bathtub toys that House had added since Wilson had last seen him: rubber ducks, trucks, cars, wild animals, squirt toys, etc. He opted not to comment, though he was pretty sure those were more for House than for the baby. But the nipple balm he quickly tossed out of the cart and onto the shelf nearby, having no intention of buying THAT for whatever House intended to do with it, and he was certain he didn't want to know what that might be.

Thirty minutes later the truck was underway, everything packed in and covered by a tied down tarp. By 5 p.m. they were back at home and House picked up the spare key from where Cameron had hidden it for him before turning it and offering it to Wilson to hang onto. House then left Wilson to bring all the bags in while he went into the kitchen to make himself a sandwich.

"Where's my sandwich?" Wilson asked as he unloaded another armful of bags in the dining room.

"You've got two hands. Make one," House replied, taking an unreasonably large bite from the sandwich in his hands.

Wilson glared at him before muttering, "You know what? You're about to lose yourself a volunteer."

House chuckled. "Relax, would you? You don't have to be so touchy. There's a sandwich and a bag of chips in the kitchen on the island for you."

Wilson shot him a grateful look and headed into the kitchen. "Where is it?" he asked House a minute later.

"Oops. I must not have made you one," House said, laughing heartily.

"I'm gonna kill you," he heard Wilson mutter from the other room. But he heard Wilson open the fridge a moment later and knew he was making his own so he figured he was safe for the present.

House wandered off, ambling through the house to inspect the curtains Cameron had hung upon her return. He was actually surprised to find that she'd done a good job at choosing neutral tones that he wouldn't baulk at, coordinating them with each room. He saved the baby's room for last, afraid of what he might find. The smell of paint was strong but not half as strong as it became when he opened the door. Walking in, he hit the light switch and looked around as he made his way to the window to air the room out a bit now that the paint seemed to have dried most of the way. It actually wasn't a bad color. He pursed his lips, genuinely impressed and also genuinely relieved that he hadn't had to do the dirty work. There was a note on the crib to let him know Cameron had washed the bedding she'd bought while out buying curtains and that it was in the dryer but not to put it on the bed for a week or so, until the smell of paint had faded. House walked to the dryer, worried that this was where she'd hit him with gads and gads of pink. But when he pulled it out, the sheets were white with blue and green elephants on them, polka dots scattered throughout in blue and green as well. The quilt and crib bumper was blue with green edging and a blue, green, and white striped border on the outside. He folded them up and put them in the Pottery Barn bag nearby, thinking they were still too cutesy for his taste but at least survivable. Maybe no one made non-cutesy crib sheets though. He set the bag on the shelf and went back to find Wilson then.

* * *

By 8 p.m. Wilson had the baby room organized and House was impressed by his efficiency.

"Maybe you should think about having a kid," he suggested.

Wilson looked at him drolly but chuckled after a moment. "Let's just get through you having one before we add another to the mix."

"Oh, but don't you want to have matching his and hers' babies, Wilsie-poo?" House taunted, practically cooing at his buddy.

"Don't ever call me 'Wilsie-poo' again! And why do I get the feeling that when you say 'hers' you are referring to me?" Wilson muttered in annoyance.

House laughed. "Because you know how to call it like you see it?" he asked quizzically.

"I'll call you an ass," Wilson replied soberly, causing House to laugh.

* * *

September 15th, 2010

House was heading towards his office Wednesday night having just solved his last case at PPTH, when his pager went off and he detoured in the direction of the doctor's lounge. He was totally on to them. He thought his team was made up of morons if they didn't know he'd know.

"Surprise!" they yelled as he stepped into the room.

House smiled and shook his head in amusement but kept his mouth closed, for once opting not to rely on snarky remarks. The past couple weeks had been much easier on him, whether it was due to leaving his apartment behind, the busyness of trying to prepare for the birth of his kid, the fact that Cameron and Wilson were no longer treating him quite as gingerly, or the knowledge that he was about to leave PPTH and the hardships of the last year in the past. He shook Taub and Foreman's hands and then allowed Chase, Cameron, and Thirteen to each hug him, only cringing in silent protest. Wilson was at the table pouring drinks and smiled his way before passing them out, serving House last. He looked at his glass skeptically but Wilson stepped close enough for House to hear him murmur under his breath that his was just ginger ale.

Surprisingly, Foreman was the first to toast him. "To House! May his new job beat the old one and may it slow the aging process down a little," he quipped, drawing a laugh from the group at large.

House dryly thanked him amidst the cheers and then rolled his eyes when Cameron got a little teary, simply because she would be following him shortly and it was ridiculous to cry when she'd still see him all the time. He would have commented but no one knew that she was even leaving yet so he wisely kept his mouth closed. He was pretty sure though that he'd trade working with her for Chase any day, the way her pregnancy hormones were coming through loud and clear.

"Shut up," she muttered, hugging him again. "I'm just emotional because it's the last time we'll all be here – your old and new team together."

House laughed and then turned to grab a handful of Doritos from one of the bowls on the table, trying not to linger on the fleeting thought that went through his mind regarding Kutner's absence.

However he was quickly distracted when Chase cleared his throat, also wanting to make a toast. "That the staff at Riverside East know what they are getting themselves into and have fashioned thick hides to combat House's sarcasm!" he declared to a chorus of "Here, here!"

House shot him a dirty look but chuckled before clinking his glass with Chase's.

He looked at Wilson but Wilson was intentionally not making eye contact. House raised an eyebrow and Cameron noticed. "He wants to toast you but he's afraid he'll cry," she informed him, clearly thinking it very sweet.

"Oh, for crying out loud!" House muttered, eliciting a gasp from Cameron which was quickly followed by a swat on the arm.

"Ouch," he whined, rubbing it as if in pain.

Cameron rolled her eyes and then went over to the table to grab some pretzels, her hand squeezing Wilson's shoulder reassuringly before she returned to Chase's side, slipping her arm through his.

House laughed and glanced around the room, quickly noticing the gift bags that had been placed on top of a table up against the wall. "What's this?" he asked gleefully, setting his cup down to rub his hands together in enthusiasm.

Wilson rolled his eyes but smiled and said, "Go ahead. Open them."

The room fell silent and House glanced back at them in curiosity only to see that all their eyes were on the doorway, rather than on him. Turning his head he followed their eyes and spotted Cuddy standing there, her mouth agape. Her eyes met his and just as quickly as she had come in she turned and walked out, the door closing firmly behind her.

House stared at the spot where she'd been for a moment, his mouth forming into a frown.

"Open mine first. It's the one with green wrapping paper at the far end," Chase instructed him, clearly trying to help him out.

House turned back to the gifts, a grateful smile slowly curving his lips. Within a matter of seconds the volume of the room had shot back up to what it had been before Cuddy had walked in.

* * *

Cuddy stood outside the door as if she was frozen to the spot. She had been only too aware that House's final day was rapidly approaching but she'd never considered for a moment that anyone would throw him a going away party. And if she had thought of it she wouldn't have expected it to take place in her hospital. Once upon a time that would have been something she'd have organized. This time she hadn't even been aware of it, no one even thinking to inform her. Something tightened in Cuddy's chest like a band squeezing down on her heart. But that couldn't be because she didn't believe she had one anymore. She took a deep breath and then walked away on shaky heels, deciding to call it a night and go home to her daughter. She didn't think she could stand to be here another moment.

* * *

An hour later House thanked everyone for the gifts and for coming, shaking their hands and wishing them well as one by one they headed out for the night. Finally even Cameron and Chase had gone and he sighed before turning to look at Wilson.

"Decent haul, huh?" he asked him, nodding in the direction of his gifts.

Wilson smiled. "Yeah. Who would have ever guessed Taub would buy you a fancy new I-pod?"

"The camera from Thirteen is awesome too," House added, taking another handful of Doritos before crashing on the couch.

Wilson took a few potato chips from another bowl and then walked over to sink down on the couch next to House. "Had a good time?"

House's mouth quirked into a half-smile. "Yeah. It was good."

"Sorry that Cuddy had to come in during the party," Wilson said then.

House turned to look at him. "No big deal. It's kind of fitting anyway."

"How do you figure?" Wilson asked hesitantly, unsure if he wanted to hear what House was thinking.

House shrugged, tossing the remaining Doritos crumbs into his mouth before saying, "She's got as much reason to celebrate as anyone."

"House…" Wilson began.

"Relax. I'm just saying," he muttered, closing his eyes as he let his head drop back onto the couch.

Wilson remained quiet for a moment. "Sorry I didn't toast you," he said finally.

House smiled but didn't open his eyes. "It's okay. Better that you didn't if you were going to start sobbing like a girl."

A minute of silence passed and then they both started laughing, neither one of them sure who had started laughing first.

* * *

September 17th, 2010

House hacked into the PPTH computer network to reroute all mail to the new house rather than the apartment, mainly for tax purposes, not wanting to do it through Human Services on the off-chance his address would fall into the wrong hands because of the paperwork copy. Then he shut down his computer and looked around his office one last time. Despite the quantity of books, journals, and miscellaneous items he was leaving behind belonging to PPTH, it still looked empty. He took a deep breath and released it after a few seconds, thinking of how long he'd called this office his and how much he'd miss this place. When he was certain he had all his things he pulled an envelope out from his pocket and set it on the desk before he reached down for the last of his possessions, hefting the ball in his hand before throwing it at the wall between his office and Wilson's a few times, letting him know that the time had come.

His team sat in the conference room, casting glances his way every few minutes. Life was about to change for them as well. Each of them had been reassigned to a different department in the hospital. All that remained to do today was to cover everything with sheets once House was gone. Then they'd be free to go home, returning Monday to new positions.

When Wilson came in a minute later the team came in as well, as if in some unspoken agreement, each grabbing a box to carry out to his vehicle outside. They walked as a group to the elevator, no one saying anything at all, and House looked back only once to stare at his name where it remained for the moment on his door. Then the elevator arrived and they all got on, each one silently thinking of how surreal this was and what it would mean for him or her personally.

Cameron and Chase were waiting in the lobby, Wilson having given her a call only moments before leaving his own office to go to House's. House pursed his lips upon seeing them, thinking maybe he would have preferred to just slip out of the hospital unnoticed today, but he smiled then, appreciating the solidarity this grand gesture showed on everyone's part. Never in his life would he have imagined they'd each want to be present for this final moment. Rethinking that, he realized he had, just not with the attitudes they had right now. He might have expected them to be present if he was being thrown out in order to watch it go down; not to a part of this like it was some honor guard ceremony.

House didn't let his eyes stray in the direction of the clinic, not wanting to know either way if Cuddy was watching him leave. Neither her presence nor her absence would have made him feel any better. Several nurses called out their farewells and House nodded in appreciation. Then he took a deep breath and pushed open the door to PPTH, crossing the entrance for what he assumed could very well be the last time.

Wilson juggled the box he was carrying so that he could hold the door open for everyone else. When they crossed the parking lot to his space, House was surprised to see the parking space sign with his name on it had already been removed. He grimaced before looking away, reaching into his pocket for his keys. Unlocking the car doors, he watched as the team set his things in the back seat of the car.

"Wilson, I need to ask a favor," he murmured under his breath while everyone was occupied so that no one else would overhear him.

"Name it, House," he replied, his expression somber to fit the mood of these final moments.

House looked at the ground and then glanced at Wilson's face before looking back at the hospital. "I know you want to grab a bite to eat but I'd rather we just go chill at my house than go out."

"Okay," Wilson agreed.

"That's not the favor though," House continued, still staring at the hospital. "I want you to go back in the hospital now and scratch my name off my door."

Wilson looked away and when his eyes returned to House, House finally looked at him. "House, I don't…"

"Please," he mumbled. "I don't want anyone else to do it. The supplies are behind the door. Just…do this for me."

Wilson exhaled through his nose, his lips pressed firmly together. "Alright," he murmured finally, unable to deny House a final request, especially when House never used the word 'please' as he had just now.

House nodded and turned back to his team, sighing when he saw Cameron crying. He gave her a pointed look and she laughed softly before wiping the tears away.

"This is it," he said then, ready to climb in his car.

Chase stepped around Cameron, who next to Wilson was positioned closest to House, and gave him a firm hug. Cameron followed his example. Then Taub came to clap him on the shoulder while Thirteen hugged him as well. Foreman was last of all, but rather than approach House he gestured for him to come over where he stood next to the trunk. House lifted an eyebrow but walked over.

"Pop the trunk," Foreman said under his breath as he inclined his head in its direction, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

House laughed but did so, not knowing what to expect. And when he looked inside, there was his missing parking space sign.

"Thought since I probably won't have to break into people's houses anymore, I might as well perform one final act of thievery on your behalf," Foreman said dryly.

House couldn't help himself. He reached for him, surprising everyone including himself when he hugged Foreman and thumped his back before releasing him.

Foreman looked uncomfortable but he nodded before shutting the trunk and sticking his hand out to shake House's. "You've taught me a lot," he said then. "Thank you."

House nodded, emotion building within him, and when Foreman released his hand he quickly walked back to the driver's seat and climbed into his car. A minute later he pulled out of the parking lot, covertly watching PPTH, Wilson, and all his ducklings grow smaller in his rearview mirror until they disappeared from view and he turned out of sight.

-----

"_**A billion people died on the news tonight  
But not so many cried at the terrible sight  
Well mama said  
It's just make believe  
You can't believe everything you see  
So baby close your eyes to the lullabies  
On the news tonight**_

**_Who's the one to decide that it would be alright  
To put the music behind the news tonight?  
Well mama said  
You can't believe everything you hear  
The diagetic world is so unclear  
So baby close your ears  
On the news tonight  
On the news tonight_**

**_The unobtrusive tones on the news tonight  
And mama said_**

**_Mmm_**

**_Why don't the newscasters cry when they read about people who die?  
At least they could be decent enough to put just a tear in their eyes  
Well mama said  
It's just make believe  
You can't believe everything you see  
So baby close your eyes to the lullabies  
On the news tonight"_**

* * *

Song: "The News" (Jack Johnson)


	28. Waiting On An Angel

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I'm quite fond of this chapter. :) Hope you enjoy it too! P.S. SO MANY REVIEWS!! Thanks guys!! You have some great thoughts and I love how some people hate angst and read this story anyway. There have been a couple Huddy stories that have had me in knots in the past and I totally sympathize with you, knowing it can be hard to read. Even this story leaves me all knotted up inside, despite knowing how it ends!)_

* * *

Wilson went back inside the hospital with the team. He cast a glance towards the clinic but did not see Cuddy and frankly, that was okay with him. He didn't want to see her right now.

Cameron and Chase headed off to the locker room while he headed upstairs with House's team to help them cover up the furniture in his office and conference room. The team started in the conference room and Wilson slipped into House's office, taking one final look around before unfolding a sheet to cover the desk. The envelope next to House's computer caught his eye and he reached for it, noting Cuddy's name there. He picked it up and knew immediately from the weight of it that it was House's keys and pass card. He tucked it in his pocket, deciding he'd deliver it himself. Then he covered everything and said goodbye to the team five minutes later as they headed to the elevator to go home for the weekend.

Wilson waited until they were out of sight and then backtracked into the office, grabbing the items House had left behind the door. He hesitated momentarily before ultimately sighing and getting to work on fulfilling his promise to House, removing his name from the glass door.

* * *

Wilson had every intention of just shoving the envelope under Cuddy's door. But when he reached her office a half hour later and saw her busy at her desk as if nothing significant had just happened, he couldn't take it.

Cuddy heard a noise and looked up from her desk to see Wilson enter her office, something clenched in his fist. She set her pen down and stared at him as he approached, his face clouded with what she suspected to be a mixture of anger and pain. House was gone then.

"What can I do for you?" she asked, her voice firm and her eyes steely.

"Oh I think you've done enough," he replied bitingly. There were so many choice words he had for her in that moment but in the end all he could do was stare at her, glaring until she looked away.

"You can't blame all this on me, Wilson," she stated as she started shuffling files and papers on her desk. "House made his choice. And anyway, this is your fault too."

Wilson looked at her in disbelief and she met his eyes without emotion. He gnashed his teeth. "My fault?! My fault?! You… You… And just what is your logic in that argument?!" he sputtered.

She shrugged unsympathetically. "I came to you. I asked you to talk House into being reasonable. You're the one who could have and you refused. Now live with the consequences."

With a strangled groan he threw the envelope down on her desk, causing Cuddy to flinch. "He chose life for your kid! Your kid, Cuddy!"

Cuddy shoved her chair back and got to her feet, a hand on her desk to keep her belly from bumping into it and the other on her hip. In barely contained outrage she shot him a piercing look and one syllable at a time said, "Don't you ever talk to me about this again. Now get out of my office before I call security and have them escort you out!"

Wilson's eyebrows rose in amusement at her threat. "Don't bother," he said calmly, though his words were like ice. "Believe me, there is nothing that would please me more in this minute than to leave rather than waste any more time here with you." With that his mouth firmed and he about faced, marching out of her office.

Cuddy watched him leave, her back straight, her hackles still raised. Then she slowly lowered herself into her chair before her eyes fell to the envelope on her desk. Reluctantly she reached for it and rolled her chair back so that she could pull open her middle drawer, dropping the envelope in without opening it before shutting the drawer and going back to work.

* * *

Wilson pulled up into House's driveway and rolled his shoulders, trying to de-stress before going in. He climbed out of his car and made his way to the front door, carting a couple bags of Mexican food with him. House heard him use his key and called out to let him know he was in the kitchen. Fishing a beer out of the fridge, he passed it to Wilson once he'd entered and dropped the bags off on the island.

Wilson looked at the label. "The real deal?" he inquired, surprised.

"For you, not me," House responded, his voice announcing it was a great tragedy as he pulled out a non-alcoholic beer for himself.

Wilson chuckled before taking a swig. "Oh, this is awful. This is disgusting. Your beer is much better by far. You've made the right choice," Wilson deadpanned.

"Shut up," House muttered. Wilson shot him a smile and he rolled his eyes.

"My name gone?" House asked quietly then.

Wilson sobered. "It is."

House nodded and smiled after a second. "Wanna see what homeboy did?"

Wilson raised an eyebrow. He had known something was going on at the car in the parking lot but he'd been too far away to see inside the trunk. "Yeah," he replied, his curiosity stirred.

Without a word House led him into the laundry room and opened the garage door, hitting the light. Wilson followed him out and House proudly pointed at the wall in front of where his car was parked.

"He stole that for you?" Wilson asked dryly, though clearly entertained by the presence of the parking sign which House had immediately gone home and posted in his garage. "I didn't even notice its absence when we were all standing there."

"I did," House replied and Wilson knew immediately he had thought Cuddy had ordered it removed. He decided then and there not to say anything about his conversation with Cuddy before leaving the hospital.

"I guess hiring people for their nefarious pasts can have its payoffs," Wilson remarked dryly, shaking his head.

"Never let me hear you say I didn't tell you so," House quipped. "Now let's go watch the tube and chow down."

Wilson followed him into the house, hitting the light off in the garage on the way, obscuring the private parking space of House, M.D. of Princeton Plainsboro.

* * *

September 20th, 2010

Cuddy sat at her desk the next Monday, basically hiding from her staff, having been unable to sleep the night before and lacking the energy to take on anyone again today. She was so uncomfortable lately that any sleep at all was blessed relief. It freed her from the thoughts circling in her mind and hovering there as if something was dying and they were waiting to swoop in and devour. On top of that, her whole body ached and she was experiencing some Braxton Hicks contractions off and on throughout the day, adding to her tension. Just a few more days, she reminded herself. A few more days and a few more bruises.

Something in her wanted to go up to the fourth floor but she didn't know why and even if she had, she wouldn't dare. She could just imagine Wilson upstairs prowling about, ready to lash out at her. Well, it wasn't her fault his best friend was gone. House had been the one to choose his fate. She would have preferred he bowed to her wishes and freed her from the last seven or eight months of misery. And for that matter, Wilson wasn't the only one stuck dealing with the situation of House's absence. It had only complicated her life more, having to come up with a reason to explain his departure to the board, shift his team to other departments in the hospital, make it clear to the world at large that PPTH had closed down their Diagnostics department for the present time, etc. Though she supposed in the end his absence would uncomplicated things greatly as far as she was concerned, and that made it worth it she thought, because she couldn't live with him in her environment based on the decisions he'd made.

As she couldn't go upstairs and in general had no interest in encountering anyone who might be upset or who might want to discuss House's departure, Cuddy busied herself all morning making phone calls and arranging for her impending leave of absence. By 2 p.m. the individual chosen by the board who was scheduled to fill her spot in her absence showed up and she buckled down, going over list after list with him of what would be required. Normally she would have asked Cameron or Wilson to take her place and fill her shoes. Due to the circumstances there was no way she would ask either of them for anything. Cameron had been less clear in her feelings regarding the situation between Cuddy and House but Cuddy knew very well where her loyalties lay, even if she was the less vocal of the two. Her silence and increasing avoidance spoke for her.

Cuddy exhaled, ready to go home. Ready to start her vacation. She had every intention of getting this pregnancy over with and then spending a few weeks at home, alone with Rachel, no one to bother her and no one to ask questions she didn't want to answer while she tried to formulate responses for the questions she knew she'd soon have to field. But that had to wait and so she pushed the thoughts aside and printed off her daily "schedules" of what she attempted to accomplish each day until something went wrong to throw her off the tracks. She hoped her substitute would be able to cope. Vacations were no fun to return from when it meant you were already buried and had to dig yourself out before pressing onward.

* * *

House sat at his piano the Monday after his last day at PPTH, his cell phone on the bench beside him while he finally took advantage of some free time to play. He had spoken with Dr. Amundsen the Friday before while still at work and he had said that while Cuddy was 50% effaced, her cervix had been dilated at three cm. for a week now with no change. At this point it did not look like Cuddy would go into labor before the induction on the 23rd, which was scheduled for 2 p.m., but the doctor said even if she hadn't wanted to induce labor, he'd be considering it as her blood pressure had been spiking lately. He had gone ahead and stripped her membrane during her visit to see if that would cause her labor to start naturally. House was certain Cuddy would call him if she went into labor but Wilson and Cameron were on duty at PPTH all the same, keeping an eye on Cuddy during the day in case she should go into labor and someone needed to notify him for her.

He had an assortment of onesies, t-shirts, and teeny tiny pajamas in the dryer per Wilson's urging, and was just waiting for the buzzer to sound so that he could put them away. House was beginning to wonder, well not for the first time, how he was going to handle something so small and needy all by himself. Wilson had said he'd come around on the weekend, should House need him, but …seriously, he had to be able to do this. Didn't he? He supposed that was part of the reason he'd bought such a big house. If he couldn't handle it, the basement could easily be converted into living quarters for either Wilson, if House could ever convince him to leave his apartment and Amber's ghost, or a live-in nanny of some sort.

Wilson was still trying to talk House into telling him the name he'd chosen but House was not about to give in, telling Wilson that for once he just needed to trust his judgment. Wilson replied to say some things were easier said than done. House had laughed, savoring Wilson's suffering in the situation.

The phone rang and the music died as he reached for it, hitting the talk button. "Yeah?"

"Greg? This is Charlie Davis. I made those inquiries into the whereabouts of Lucas Douglas as you asked and I'm just calling you back to give you what I've found out."

House stilled and then cleared his throat. He supposed the time had come. "Hey Charlie. That was fast. What'd you find?"

"Yeah. It wasn't hard actually. He's living back in Plainsboro. I've got the address for you. Do you have a pen and piece of paper?" Charlie asked, glancing at the information on his desk, right next to the phone.

"No. Give me a second," House replied, heading to the kitchen to find a scratchpad.

* * *

September 21st, 2010

House drove his motorcycle to the address on the sheet of paper lying next to him, parking out in front of a strip of businesses and shutting off the engine before turning to stare at the sign advertising "Lucas Douglas, P.I." Charlie had given him two addresses, one for Lucas's apartment and the other for the office space Lucas was renting out. He felt more comfortable swinging by this one.

Climbing off the motorcycle, House took off his helmet and stuck his key in his pocket before removing the folded envelope he'd tucked in there. Then he released the breath he had pent up and limped to the door, ready to just get this over with. Wilson had offered to do it that day when he'd encountered the envelope stuck in House's desk drawer but House wasn't about to ask that of him. He wasn't afraid of Lucas. It was just bound to be uncomfortable.

House entered through the front door Lucas's office shared with a printing service and then detoured to the left to pass through the glass door he wanted.

"May I help you sir?" the young woman at the desk asked, removing her headphones as she looked up from the script she was transcribing.

House glanced at her but his eyes had already spotted Lucas moving around in the private office behind her. He ignored her and walked past her desk space to stand in Lucas's doorway.

"Sir, you can't just…" she protested, getting to her feet.

Lucas glanced over his shoulder then and noticed him. He froze; his face registering his surprise. "It's okay, McKenna," he murmured to his secretary.

"Hey Lucas," House said evenly, nodding his head slightly in greeting.

"House," Lucas replied, straightening as he turned to him. "What are you doing here?"

"Cuddy asked me to give this to you a long time ago and I'm only now getting around to it," he replied, extending the envelope to him.

Lucas glanced at it and then took a couple steps in his direction to take it from him. His fingers slid from one end of the envelope to the other and he recognized immediately what was inside. He glanced down at the floor and tossed the envelope over onto his chair where it landed on his jacket. "Thanks," he replied finally.

House nodded and turned to go, having done what he'd intended to do.

"I hear she's pregnant," Lucas said softly.

House came to a standstill, wondering if he should be surprised to know Lucas knew that. He supposed not. The man was a PI after all. Glancing back, he nodded slightly. "Yeah. Due this week."

"Congratulations," Lucas replied, meeting House's eyes.

House didn't know what to say. Nor did he want to get into this with Lucas. "Thanks," he ultimately settled on saying. Then he turned and made his way to the door, glancing only briefly at the secretary on his way out.

* * *

September 22nd, 2010

"Hey Wilson," House said when he finally picked up the phone. "What's up?"

"Just thought I'd check in and see how you were," Wilson replied.

"I've been thinking, Wilson," he mumbled. "This house is really big. I think you should move in. You can have the basement all to yourself. It'd really be the best thing for everybody. You need to get out of that apartment anyway. It's been long enough."

A moment of silence passed and then Wilson dryly said, "House, I'm not moving in."

"But why?" he whined.

"House, you need to know that you can do this. And you need to know that you can do this all on your own. And I… I need to break the cycle of rescuing you all the time," Wilson said pointedly.

"But it could be like that movie; the one about the three men and a baby. You know? The one from the 90's?" House explained hopefully.

"You mean the movie by the same title, 'Three Men and a Baby?'" Wilson dryly inquired, somewhat amused.

"Yeah. That one," House affirmed.

"House, there's only two of us," Wilson reminded him sarcastically. "Unfortunately, in this case life can't imitate art."

House rolled his eyes and sighed into the phone. "I could take out an ad in the paper for a third," he suggested then.

"I'm not moving in, House. You'll be fine," Wilson replied, exhaling noisily.

"You'll change your story, Wilson. You can't help yourself but be attracted to my neediness. You'll be living here by Christmas," House quipped, quite confidently.

"No, I will not," Wilson said confidently. "Now I'm going to get back to work. I'll let you know if anything happens here. You let me know if you need some…" He paused mid-thought, changing his mind. "On second thought, DON'T let me know if you need something. I'm cutting the umbilical cord and setting you free."

"But…" House exclaimed, falling silent a moment later. Wilson had hung up. He couldn't believe this. Just when he needed his friend most…

* * *

September 23rd, 2010

Wilson's phone rang and he startled awake, sitting upright in bed to blearily try and make out the digits on his alarm clock. Hitting the talk button on his phone he groaned as the screen lit up. Exhaling noisily he said, "Yeah? House?"

"Wilson? I can't find the diaper rash crème. Where is it?"

Wilson shook his head to clear the fog and then mumbled, "House, it's 1:30. Can't this wait until morning?"

"It is morning!" he retorted. "It's 1:30 IN THE MORNING!"

"Argh! House! Why are you calling me in the middle of the night?!" he complained, falling back on the bed in frustration.

"The diaper rash crème! Where is it?" House repeated more forcefully.

If he didn't just answer the question, Wilson knew he'd have no peace. "It's in the little basket in the top drawer of the changing table."

Click. House had hung up. Wilson couldn't believe it. He rolled over and tried to fall back asleep.

The phone sounded again.

Wilson's fists balled into his bed sheets. "This better be important," he gritted out between his teeth.

"It is," House replied adamantly. "I can't remember where you put that alternative formula in case the baby has an allergic reaction to the normal stuff."

Wilson's eyes shot open. "You have GOT to be kidding me," he muttered into the phone.

"No, I really can't find it," House assured him somberly.

"It's in the pantry. Second to the top shelf."

"Got it," House replied, hanging up once again.

Ten minutes passed before the phone rang for the third time. Wilson turned his head into the pillow and then head-butted it repeatedly before answering it. "What now?!" he angrily queried.

"Well, I was just wondering if you think I need to rewash the crib sheets with a gentler detergent. The book makes a case for using Dreft. I wanted to get your opinion," House asked, almost hesitantly this time.

Wilson sighed. "Do you have Dreft?" he asked, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from his eyes with one hand.

"No," House responded. "Would you go pick some up for me and bring it over? I've really got to review these sleeping schedule things I found online and determine which one would work best for me."

"I'm pretty sure the baby will come equipped with her own schedule, House," Wilson dryly commented.

"She might not. And then I might find myself with a kid who is up all night and who sleeps all day," House told him.

"Apparently, that's your preference too," Wilson sarcastically pointed out.

House ignored the sarcasm. "That's fine with me but the book says a schedule is important because otherwise I might end up with a preschooler who is up until four in the morning and wants to sleep until two in the afternoon."

Wilson interrupted, unable to listen to the tangent he was on any longer. "House, don't you think it's a little EARLY to be worrying about preschool sleep habits?!"

"It says structure is important," House countered. "Wilson, I don't DO structure."

"No, you don't," Wilson agreed. "I can see that. But maybe we could practice it now. For instance, why don't you try hanging up and calling me back between the hours of 8 a.m. and 10 p.m.? That would be a step in the right direction."

There was a pause and Wilson hoped he'd scored a victory because his pillow was calling, chanting his name.

Then all hopes were dashed. "Wilson, are you on your way to the store to buy some Dreft yet?" House asked worriedly.

"I'll be over in an hour," Wilson replied reluctantly, bemoaning his choice of friends.

"Okay! See you then!" House replied, quickly hanging up.

Wilson actually was going to get up. But then he realized he'd just bought himself an hour of uninterrupted sleep. He quickly lay down and turned over.

When the phone rang a little later, Wilson fumbled for it in the bed sheets, finally locating it. "What time is it?" he asked, not bothering to look at the clock.

"2:10," House answered. "While you're at the store, can you grab another bottle of baby shampoo? I don't want to run out."

"House, you already have three bottles. And your kid might be bald," he groaned.

"She's not. In the last ultrasound picture you could see hair. Don't you pay any attention at all when I'm talking to you?" House asked in annoyance.

"Well she'd have to be as hairy as a Shetland pony and as big as one to require more than a third of a bottle in one shampooing," Wilson grumpily informed him. "And even then that's…three, six, nine shampooings before you'd run out of the three bottles you already have. And you're a doctor, so you know she doesn't need to be bathed every day."

"Wilson?" House asked evenly.

"Yeah?" he replied sleepily after a moment.

"You're really slow. I think I could ask my kid to solve that same math problem and she'd beat you to the answer," he taunted.

"House?" Wilson murmured.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Shut up."

"Then get out of bed," House demanded. "I know you're not at the store."

"How do you know I'm not at the store?" Wilson managed to inquire, his eyes drifting closed.

"Because if you were I wouldn't have to do this," and with that an ear-splitting noise filled the room via his cell phone and Wilson fell out of bed, banging his knee in the process, the phone clattering across the room and under the dresser in the far recesses.

Wilson crawled on his belly across the floor to retrieve it, yelling at House the whole while. When it sank in that all he heard was silence, he switched the phone back to the ear that hadn't just been traumatized.

"Are you done yelling?" House intoned.

Wilson didn't have a reply for that.

"I can hear you breathing. I know you're there," House caustically announced.

He sighed. "House, I'm going to kill you. And it WILL be slow. And it WILL be painful."

"Okay. But that means you first have to come over here. Are you out of bed yet?" House asked soberly.

Wilson looked down and stared at the hardwood floor six inches from the end of his nose. "Yeah," he answered caustically. "I'm out of bed. But not for long. No more handholding. I'm hanging up now and turning my phone off. Good night." And with that he disconnected and turned off the phone as he'd told House he would.

Wilson slowly got off the floor, rubbing his knee a moment before sticking a finger in his deaf ear to try and clear it. It didn't help. He slowly limped his way to the apartment phone and disconnected it from the wall before returning to bed and collapsing on it.

Five minutes later he heard someone knocking on the apartment door. When it only got louder, he grunted and climbed from the bed. "House, go to the store yourself! You've come this far!" he angrily declared as he made his way in the direction of the door.

"It's Mrs. Sanchez from next door, James," a female voice thick with a heavy Spanish accent replied.

Wilson looked at the clock and went to the door, pulling it open. He stared at her in her ratty bathrobe, his expression reflecting his bafflement. "Mrs. Sanchez? Everything alright?"

"Sí querido, but there's a phone call for you," she informed him, turning and leading the way back to her apartment.

Wilson stared after her disbelievingly, unable to comprehend the lengths to which House would go to get him to come over in the middle of the night. Reluctantly he followed, seeing nothing for it.

Mrs. Sanchez picked her phone back up from the counter where she'd set it down. "He's coming," she said.

Wilson approached her to take the phone but she was listening to something House was saying. "No sé, querido," she told him. "When mis niños were young, we used cod liver oil for that. But I do not think they use cod liver oil these days. Mi hija told me things are not done the same as when she was a nena." House replied and then Mrs. Sanchez continued. "Oh! De nada, de nada! Por favor! You are very welcome! You may call anytime."

Wilson stared at her in stunned silence, unable to comprehend how House had charmed her into taking a call at 2:30 in the morning and being happy to do it. When she held the phone out for him a moment later, he took it and put it to his ear. "Yeah?" he asked without emotion, still puzzling over what House had done when Wilson had disconnected the phone.

"Don't forget the baby shampoo, along with the Dreft," House instantly replied, his voice nonchalant.

Wilson stared at the wall and then glanced at Mrs. Sanchez who was standing close by. "Yeah, alright. I'm on my way," he muttered, hanging up before House could respond.

"You know," Mrs. Sanchez said in her thick accent to Wilson when he turned back to her. "When that man moved in with you, I used to say to myself, 'María, that man is loco! What is James thinking?! He is a nuisance!' But now I say to myself, 'María, you were wrong! Señor House is a good man! He just has rough edges!' James," she continued, gesticulating, her fingers together at the tips and her hand waving back and forth in front of him. "It is a shame he is going to be a single father! He would make a good husband! He is… What do you say in the English? Oh yes! He is a… good catch."

Wilson stared at her, unable to respond.

"Ay yi yi," she exclaimed, smiling now before clapping her hands together happily. "And he is nesting! Qué precioso este hombre!"

Wilson didn't know what she was talking about but he couldn't believe it was after 2:45 in the morning and his neighbor was telling him how precious House was. "Good night, Mrs. Sanchez," he murmured, walking to the door.

"Bueñas noches, James!" she replied, following him to close the door behind him.

Wilson entered his apartment and plugged the phone back in before turning his cell phone on as well. Not bothering to turn on the lights, he grabbed the clothes he'd laid out the night before from his bedroom and folded them to take with him. Then he grabbed his coat and threw it on, not caring that he was in his pajamas. Who went to the store at 3 a.m. anyway, he asked himself.

* * *

Wilson was going through the checkout line when his phone rang. He grabbed it out of his pocket and hit talk, rolling his eyes. "Yeah? What did you forget?"

"I think you should get some of those pacifier things," House told him, though he sounded uncertain.

"House, I'm in the checkout. This can wait," he muttered under his breath.

"Wilson, don't you think my kid merits leaving the checkout lane to buy a pacifier?" he demanded gruffly.

"You're the one who said your kid wouldn't use a pacifier because braces would cost you a fortune if it screwed up her teeth as they come in," Wilson said sharply.

"Yeah, well, I've changed my mind. Just grab a couple different kinds, just in case," House said, his voice firm as if this was not something Wilson could argue with. Then the phone disconnected.

Wilson looked up at the checkout lady. "Just give me a second. I have to go get a…pacifier," he finished, shaking his head in frustration.

She looked at him as if she wondered what planet he'd just come from. "Aisle seven," she informed him finally, semi-amused.

He nodded and scanned the aisles nearby for numbers.

When he came back, Wilson handed three different pacifiers to her to scan.

"New baby?" she asked as if to make conversation.

"How'd you know?" he asked, nodding.

She shrugged and then smiled. "You're here at 3 a.m. in your pajamas, buying Dreft, baby shampoo, and pacifiers. How old is the baby?"

"Not born yet," he admitted. "It's not even mine. It's my friend's. Today they are inducing labor."

"Oh, she's nesting!" the woman replied, as if it was the sweetest thing in the world.

"Excuse me?" he asked, looking at her in obvious bewilderment. "Why do people keep saying that? What does that even mean?!"

"Your friend. She's nesting. You know, when a pregnant lady knows the baby will be here soon, she gets a sudden burst of energy and launches herself into final preparations," she explained, smiling as she took his credit card from him.

Wilson stared at her and then started to laugh uncontrollably. "Yeah. I guess that's exactly what my friend is doing," he replied.

"Well, have a good day sir!" she told him, handing his receipt and credit card back.

"You too," he returned, taking his bag and walking for the exit. House was nesting. He couldn't wait to tell Cameron.

* * *

"What took you so long?" House asked when Wilson walked into his house fifteen minutes later.

Wilson surveyed him where he sat on the living room floor, clipboard in hand, scattered baby paraphernalia spread out all around him. "What are you doing?" he asked finally.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" House replied, shooting Wilson a look over his reading glasses that clearly declared him to be an idiot.

"Are you… making lists of… where items are kept?" he asked skeptically. "House, you don't do… lists."

"Just trying to make sure I have things where they need to be," House muttered. "I don't want to be searching for hours to find what I need."

Wilson glanced around the room at large and noted the piles of linens and baby clothes stacked on the couch behind him according to size. "You really are nesting, aren't you?" he asked in shock.

"What?" House asked in confusion, glancing up at Wilson.

"Like birds do. You're assembling your nest bit by bit," he replied, a goofy smile on his face.

"Wilson, I don't know what you are talking about," House informed him seriously. "You're comparing me to a bird?!"

Wilson started laughing. "You're nesting. It's what pregnant women do when the baby is about to come. You're getting your nest ready for your little baby bird," he teased, dragging out the last three words in a ridiculously silly voice.

House's hands stilled and he looked up at Wilson, studying him as he continued to laugh. "Shut up, Wilson," he said then, his expression one of irritation.

Wilson tried to regain control and finally succeeded. "Okay," he redirected. "Let's change focuses and talk about what you need to take with you to the hospital tomorrow. The car seat is in the car properly connected?"

House nodded. He had gone out that weekend to go car shopping after Wilson harassed him about the state his car was in and got after him about his sentimental unwillingness to part with the car he'd had forever. Now he had a new car with a high safety rating, also equipped with the aforementioned car seat. "I climbed in it just to make sure it was tightly molded to the seat," he assured him.

Wilson started laughing again and House glared. "I don't see anything funny about wanting my kid to be safe," he muttered under his breath.

Wilson held a hand up to excuse himself and went into the kitchen, attempting to suppress his laughter. When he thought he was good he headed back into the living room, his eyes twinkling regardless of what his mouth was doing. "And you've got the diaper bag in there?" he asked next.

House nodded.

"What about the camera?" Wilson inquired.

"It's in the laundry room with the camcorder, ready to be grabbed on my way out tomorrow," House responded, his eyes back on his clipboard.

Wilson smiled victoriously and turned, walking out of the room.

"Where are you going?" House called after him.

"The bathroom," Wilson replied over his shoulder. He opened the bathroom door and flipped the switches to turn the lights and fan on before leaving it only open a crack and continuing to the laundry room. Then he grabbed the camcorder and uncapped the lens before verifying that there was a tape within and turning it on. Switching the playback screen out, he reversed the camcorder and hit the record button, focusing on his own face.

"It's September 23rd, 2010 and your dad woke me up at 1:30 in the morning to send me to the store for Dreft, a fourth bottle of baby shampoo, and a bunch of pacifiers. I gave up on trying to ignore his calls and sleep at 2:30 when he awoke my neighbor to get to me and was at the store to buy what he felt he was missing around 3. Kid, your dad is nesting," Wilson whispered loudly before poking his head out of the laundry room to make sure House wasn't coming. Turning back to the camcorder, he continued, "And let me just explain what that means. It means that today you are supposed to be born. Maybe tomorrow if it takes a long time. And so rather than sleeping and resting up for the long day ahead, your dad is out in the living room organizing everything that he, Auntie Cameron, and I have bought you in the past few weeks. Blankets, clothes, medicines, you name it."

"Wilson! What's taking you so long?! I need you to add some Dreft to the washing machine and get it started!" House called from the background.

Wilson looked back at the camcorder and laughed. "See? He's losing it," Wilson whispered conspiringly. "I just want you to see this." With that he turned the playback lens around and rotated the camcorder, filming part of the breakfast nook and the hallway beyond as he came around the corner. Opening the bathroom door, he stepped in and turned off the lights and fan.

"Be right there," he called loudly to House, turning the camcorder back to zoom in on his face before turning it back to the hallway ahead.

"You didn't flush," House yelled back.

"I couldn't go," he replied, once more turning the camera to catch his amused expression.

"For Pete's sake, Wilson! There's some Mylanta in the bathroom cabinet if you're blocked up, though I can't say I want you crapping in my bathroom!"

Wilson's eyes widened and then he cringed. "I'm not… blocked up," he whispered into the camcorder.

"Are you talking to yourself?" House asked then, his voice dubious.

Wilson turned the camera back around and stepped into the foyer, scanning the living room and zooming in on House and his clipboard.

"Wilson, I hope you bought a few different styles of pacifiers in case the kid has a preference," House told him without looking up.

"This is your crazy old man," Wilson said, no longer whispering, the camcorder zoomed in on House's face as he adjusted his reading glasses to read over the directions on a tube of Desitin.

"What are you…" he began to say. And then he looked up and spotted the camcorder in Wilson's hands.

"Wilson," he muttered. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm recording your nesting episode for posterity," he replied easily as he took a couple steps closer and scanned all the piles everywhere.

"Wilson…if you don't turn that off right now…" House warned.

"Remember House, we've got little ears who will be watching this video in a few years. Choose your words wisely," he quipped.

"You'll be lucky if you're still around to watch it with her," House scornfully informed him through his teeth.

"He doesn't mean that," Wilson told the camcorder seriously. "Your dad loves Uncle Wilson. He couldn't live without him. That's why he woke him up at 1:30 a.m. to ask where the diaper rash crème was."

"I'm going to jam said diaper crème somewhere the sun doesn't shine if that camcorder doesn't get turned off in the next thirty seconds," House replied somberly as he slowly got to his feet.

"Baby House," Wilson began, chuckling. "This is the point of the video where I remind you of an age-old truth. And that's this. Cripples don't run very fast." And with that Wilson backed from the room, catching House's attempt at a death glare on his way out.

* * *

Several hours later House stood and watched Wilson drive down the street on his way in to work. He shut the door and turned to head for the laundry room. Grabbing the sheets from the dryer, he headed for the baby room to remake the crib. Then he surveyed the room, scrutinizing every detail as he studied it and verified that he and Wilson had put everything back exactly where he'd want it.

Sighing, he hit the light switch and headed for the living room, collapsing onto the couch. Closing his eyes, he decided to get a quick nap in before the time came to head to the hospital and await his small bundle of joy.

-----

"_**Waiting on an angel  
One to carry me home  
Hope you come to see me soon**_

'_**Cause I don't want to go alone  
I don't want to go alone**_

**_Now angel won't you come by me  
Angel hear my plea  
Take my hand, lift me up_**

**_So that I can fly with thee  
So that I can fly with thee_**

**_And I'm waiting on an angel  
And I know it won't be long_**

**_To find myself a resting place_**

**_In my angel's arms  
In my angel's arms_**

**_So speak kind to a stranger_**

**_'Cause you'll never know_**

**_It just might be an angel come  
Oh, knockin' at your door_**

**_Oh, knockin' at your door_**

**_And I'm waiting on an angel  
And I know it won't be long_**

**_To find myself a resting place_**

**_In my angel's arms  
Oh, in my angel's arms_**

**_Waiting on an angel  
One to carry me home  
Hope you come to see me soon_**

'_**Cause I don't want to go alone  
I don't want to go alone  
Don't want to go  
I don't want to go alone"**_

* * *

Song: "Waiting On An Angel" (Ben Harper)


	29. Do What You Have To Do

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(So I'm going to break with tradition and give you two chapters today. Hope you enjoy them and tell me what you think!)_

* * *

Cuddy ran through her instructions for the fourth time with the nanny who would be staying at her home while she was in the hospital. Then she calmly walked over to Rachel who was playing on the living room floor with her blocks and slowly lowered herself down to press a kiss to her temple. "Mommy has to go, Rachel. Stephanie is going to stay with you for a few days and then mommy will be back. Okay?"

Rachel nodded, though she had no clue what her mother was talking about, looking at Cuddy for a moment before going back to banging blocks against each other. She was quite used to her mother coming and going and for her, this wasn't any different than most days.

Cuddy turned and made her way to the front door, grabbing the bag she'd packed a few weeks ago. Then she looked over at the nanny to tell her she would call and check in but that she'd have her cell phone with, should anything come up. Stephanie nodded and followed her to the door, closing it behind her. She turned back to Rachel a moment later, wondering why Cuddy's mother, who she'd briefly met last Christmas, hadn't come to town for this. Shrugging, she picked Rachel up. "Come on, Rach. It's time for you, little girl, to eat some lunch."

* * *

Cuddy drove to the hospital, her back killing her. During the night she had thought her contractions were getting more regular but when she'd gotten up they'd stopped and she'd known they were still Braxton Hicks and gone back to bed. She didn't get any sleep though, too busy worrying about what lay ahead.

Part of her concern was the pain she was about to go through to end this pregnancy and move on with her life. She had no intention of having an epidural. And while it sounded ridiculous, even to her own ears, the truth was that despite being a doctor and knowing how epidurals worked, she was secretly terrified of having one. She'd witnessed her share of women receiving them during labor while in med school and several of them had shaken so badly in the moments afterward that she'd feared they were about to fall from their beds, as if their fervent shaking was induced by a seizure, rather than the drug. She'd sworn long ago she'd never go that route. On top of that she was scared she wouldn't know if she was pushing successfully or not if she was numb to the pain. And she wanted this over as quickly as possible. So no epidural. That she was adamant about. She'd rather embrace the pain, allowing it to wash over her, and then have it come to its natural end. It would be like the pain she'd been in the last nine months. Finally, it too would climax and then taper off in time for her to make a fresh start.

Another concern, and probably the biggest one, was that she wanted to be positive everyone knew how she felt when they walked in the door of that birthing room. She didn't want some bubbly greenhorn coming in and thinking it was her business to get her to keep the ... She was not an idiot. She knew even in adoptions there were nurses and doctors out there who tried to talk birthmothers into changing their minds. Cuddy wasn't going to change hers. She hoped she'd stressed that enough in recent months for Dr. Amundsen to get the picture but she had every intention of reminding the nursing staff when she got to the hospital. They weren't to say anything to her in the moments following the delivery. And House was to take the ... and leave, she finished in her head as she gritted her teeth and tightened her grip on the steering wheel. Once that was done, this would be done. And she'd been waiting month after month for this day, the one that would end her misery to come.

* * *

House was at Princeton General long before he needed to be, a total wreck. It was completely irrational. He couldn't make heads or tails of it. All he knew was he felt like he needed a tranquilizer or a bottle of hard liquor to survive this day. For the umpteenth time he reminded himself that women did this every day and it was no different simply because this woman was Cuddy and this baby, his. He was NOT going to call Wilson in for some warped form of handholding. He just wasn't. So he waited, and waited, and waited some more, one eye peeled for Cuddy, the other on the escape door, just in case today provoked a return panic attack.

* * *

Cuddy entered the hospital and headed to the desk to fill out any forms needed of her before things got underway. She spotted House before he saw her but she didn't try to catch his attention, only too happy to keep her distance. In the end it would make things go that much smoother.

House must have eventually caught sight of her because when she signed the final admission form and went to sit down to await her name being called, he was there sinking into the seat next to her. She glanced at him but then faced forward, uninterested in making conversation.

House watched her out of the corner of his eye, feeling like he hadn't seen her in forever. Somewhat hesitantly he finally asked, "How are you?"

"House, don't make small talk. I don't need it and it's a waste of time," she muttered under her breath.

He sighed and looked away, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes he really wondered what he'd ever done to deserve this. But he supposed he'd done plenty in his life. It wasn't that he believed in karma. It was just that he figured somehow, somewhere, at some time, he'd wronged Cuddy enough to have things end up this way. And he was paying for everything, all at once.

"Lisa Cuddy?" a nurse called, clipboard in hand.

Cuddy got to her feet and House followed behind, absentmindedly thinking about whether or not she even wanted him here at all.

* * *

It wasn't long before House found himself sitting in the corner of a birthing room, Cuddy in a gown and up on the birthing bed behind him. He stared out the window, only half-listening as the nurse talked with Cuddy. He turned around though when Dr. Amundsen came in to make an appearance.

Dr. Amundsen nodded at House, quickly adjusting to the somber mood of the room. House listened to Cuddy remind him that he'd given his word about something or other and then he figured out what they were talking about when the doctor assured Cuddy that he had communicated her wishes to those who would be participating today. The only thing he said he couldn't guarantee was how her wishes would be passed on to the next shift. He promised to do his best and then asked her to put her feet in place so he could check and see where she was at. House felt Cuddy's eyes on him and so he turned away once more to respect her privacy. It was stupid though. It wasn't like he hadn't been there, done that.

Dr. Amundsen said she was at three centimeters and only 50% effaced. They talked about options for a while and House listened but did not participate. Dr. Amundsen's desire was to induce labor by placing a suppository of synthetic prostaglandins within her vagina, leaving her free to move around while her labor progressed. However Cuddy pressed for taking the oxytocin route, requesting that he give her low doses of syntocinon intravenously to speed up her contractions. His concern was in part that her blood pressure was already slightly elevated beyond what it had been the week before and secondly, that if she really intended to do this without an epidural, taking syntocinon might speed her contractions up to the point where medication would not simply be an option but a requirement.

House turned back to them upon hearing that Cuddy had requested not to have an epidural. Was she crazy? "Cuddy, what are you thinking?" he demanded, unable to help himself. "You should go for the epidural. It will make this that much easier on you."

Cuddy glared at him and Dr. Amundsen looked back and forth between the two of them uncomfortably. "Shut up, House," she said, not caring that anyone else was present. "Just because I let you force me into taking this pregnancy to term doesn't mean that I don't have the right to make my own decisions about what I am and am not going to do during labor and delivery. Shut up or get out. Those are the only options I'm leaving you to decide. If you can't do the first, you're free to leave now."

House stared at her for a moment and then shook his head, his eyes going to the ceiling as he about faced and returned to gazing out the window at the courtyard below. Fine. Whatever she wanted to do.

Cuddy returned her attention to Dr. Amundsen and he cleared his throat before negotiating. "How about we do an amniotomy? The head is deep in your pelvis so it's a viable option. If it doesn't spur on contractions and dilate your cervix further, I'll tell the nurses to start low doses of oxytocin."

"Fine," she murmured, nodding.

Five minutes later he had a sterile, narrow plastic hook in hand and was brushing it against the membranes just inside her cervix, rupturing the amniotic sac. House turned and left the room, telling the doctor he'd be back in a few minutes. Then he sank to the floor across the hall from her room, not so sure this was where he wanted to be after all. He had come here nervous and yet genuinely excited for this moment to have finally arrived. He had wanted to be here for Cuddy just as much as he wanted to be present for his daughter's birth. It hadn't taken Cuddy long at all to take those positive feelings away from him. He pulled his knees in and propped his elbows up on them, dropping his head into his hands as he huffed out a breath of frustration.

Sometime later House heard her door open, then close, and glanced up to find Dr. Amundsen in front of him. The man stepped to his side and leaned against the wall next to him.

"Listen," he began softly, meeting House's gaze. "I cannot imagine how either one of you is feeling right now. All I can tell you is how things are from my perspective, as Dr. Cuddy's doctor."

He waited for House to grant him permission to continue and after a moment, House nodded, rubbing the back of his head with one hand.

"The nurses are monitoring her condition and I have every intention of staying close by. I'll be present more than I normally would, given the extenuating circumstances, and the nurses know that I want to approve all decisions before they get carried out. Regarding the baby, things are looking good. Her head moved farther down the cervix when I ruptured the amniotic sac and that pressure immediately caused Dr. Cuddy's contractions to begin. I'm confident they will continue and get stronger in time, though in the end I might acquiesce to her wishes and attempt the oxytocin. We will wait and see," he informed House. "I checked the fluid leaking from her amniotic sac and I don't see anything to indicate I need to worry about meconium or fetal distress at this point. I've just connected a monitor directly to the baby's head and her heart rate is perfectly within range. I'm very pleased as far as the baby is concerned."

"But," House filled in for him, seeing it coming a mile away.

"But," Dr. Amundsen echoed, "if I can be frank, this is going to be a long process for both of you and Dr. Cuddy is stressed out enough right now. I'm not taking sides. I'm not saying she's in the right, nor am I saying that you are. That's not my job. Dr. Cuddy's well-being however does fall under my jurisdiction. All I'm saying is she's stressed. And the best thing for both your daughter and Dr. Cuddy herself is if we can keep her as calm as possible. Honestly, I don't know what that means or how that's done. I don't have a whole lot of advice for you. But maybe Dr. House, you can do your best to just be here and be present if she does want you involved at some point in this process. You're here for a reason. And somehow I don't think that's just because you're the guy I'm handing this baby over to once it's born. Maybe that IS why you're here. I don't know. But I do know that you're the only one here. You're the only support she'll get today, outside of hospital staff. And before this is over, she may just need anything you have to offer her."

House broke eye contact by looking away but he nodded all the same. Dr. Amundsen extended a hand to him and House took it, getting to his feet. Then he turned to her doctor and nodded once more before turning to go back into her room.

* * *

It was 7 p.m. when the doctor came in to look and see how labor was progressing. He performed a quick check and informed Cuddy that she was now at six centimeters and 70% effaced. She agreed to hold off on the oxytocin for the time being, her contractions coming regularly about every eight minutes, though House didn't think she appeared too uncomfortable yet. Every once in a while he'd offer to go get her something to drink or a light snack, but for the most part she seemed content with the water close at hand.

House had brought a book just in case and took it out of his bag, sitting in the chair across the room from her reading while Cuddy used her phone to reply to e-mails and some last minute details related to the hospital. The room was permeated with a heavy silence but it wasn't an oppressive one so much as an observable and accepted one by both of them, House having come to terms with the way things were going to be.

Nurses came and went from the room periodically, checking on Cuddy, the baby's monitor, and the readouts that measured the regularity of her contractions. While House had his phone on silent mode, mostly to avoid irritating Cuddy further, he kept an eye on it and slipped out of her room at 8 p.m. to return a call from Wilson.

Walking down the hallway, he found a hall connecting two different wings of the hospital and camped out by the windows there for a few minutes, partly for privacy and partly to improve his signal. He dialed Wilson's number and waited as it rang.

"Where are you?" Wilson asked immediately upon picking up.

"What are you talking about?" House asked in bewilderment. "I'm at the hospital, you idiot."

Wilson laughed. "Well so am I. But what I want to know is: where you are. I thought I'd come see how you were holding up. Where can I meet you?"

House smiled despite himself and gave Wilson directions to the hall he could find him in. He talked with Wilson about various happenings at PPTH that he was now missing out on while waiting for him to show up. When Wilson turned the corner, House hit disconnect.

"You hung up on me!" Wilson cried in mock disbelief.

"You're here," House replied dryly, though he was very pleased to see his best buddy show his face at Princeton General.

"Thought I'd come check up on you and keep you company for awhile," Wilson informed him. "What are you doing out here?"

"Returning your call," he replied as if that should be obvious.

"Why don't you go back and let whoever you have to know you're going to go up to the cafeteria?" Wilson suggested. "I'm hungry and I know you're not about to reject a free meal. We can go compare Princeton General's hospital food with that of PPTH. Besides, this being her first pregnancy to go to term, I'm sure you have a long night ahead of you. Might as well start drinking coffee by the truckload."

House nodded, figuring Cuddy probably wouldn't raise any objections anyway. It wasn't like she wanted him there to hold her hand and House doubted there would be any action anytime soon. He left Wilson in the hallway and returned to the room, poking his head in. "Cuddy, I'm going to go up to the cafeteria. Do you want anything?"

She shook her head, not even looking at him.

"If you need me, you'll have someone page me or call?" he inquired next.

"I won't need you, House," she told him firmly, glancing at him only briefly.

His mouth firmed but he shrugged. "Alright. I'll be back."

Heading back to Wilson, he stopped long enough to get instructions on how to find the cafeteria. Then he returned to the hallway where Wilson was and motioned for him to follow. Ten minutes later they were seated at a table in the half-empty cafeteria, eating hamburgers and splitting a large order of fries.

"How's it going?" Wilson finally asked, once he'd told House all the PPTH gossip of the day.

House shrugged. "At seven she was six centimeters and 70% effaced. Her contractions are coming about every eight minutes but they haven't really gotten any closer together in the last hour. She's doing fine. The baby's fine. It'll probably be a while though."

"How are you doing?" Wilson asked, studying his friend's face as he took another bite from his burger.

House looked away for a moment but then focused back on Wilson. "I'm fine," he replied, reaching for his burger as well.

Wilson swallowed and waited, his mouth pursing as he thought about that answer. "Really?" he finally asked.

"Yeah," House answered, rolling his eyes. "Just waiting it out."

"What's Cuddy like?" Wilson queried next, clearly curious.

House thought it over. "Quiet. I think she's working from the hospital, though," he informed him, his mouth quirking as he rolled his eyes and shook his head. "She's e-mailing or something via her cell phone. Can't stop administrating and micromanaging for the life of her."

"Is she in pain?" Wilson queried.

House pursed his lips, his forehead wrinkling. "She grimaces when the contractions hit but overall I'd say she's holding up. She's not in active labor yet though. We'll see how she does then."

Wilson took another bite of his burger while House polished off the fries. After taking a drink to clear his throat, Wilson smiled and asked, "So, going to tell me the baby's name yet?"

House laughed and shook his head. "I'll tell you when I call and wake you up," he replied smugly.

Wilson rolled his eyes and shook his head but went back to eating, House doing the same.

* * *

Cuddy watched House leave the room and then paged a nurse before setting aside her cell phone. The nurse entered and disconnected her from the monitor so that she could go to the bathroom. She made her way there slowly, the weight of the baby having shifted somewhat and feeling more pressure in her lower back now. Once she was done she walked the room a bit, rubbing her lower back before returning to the bed and paging the nurse to let her know she could hook her back up.

So far she really wasn't experiencing too much pain but Cuddy tended to think she had a high tolerance for pain anyway. She was happy to have House leave for a while though. It was much easier to just be alone. Reaching for the remote, she channel-surfed for a few minutes and then turned it off. She glanced at the clock and thought she'd waited long enough. It was time to bring oxytocin back up. Cuddy hit the button to page the nurse, hoping it wouldn't take too long.

* * *

House headed back to Cuddy's room forty-five minutes later after seeing Wilson off at the elevator. He knocked but then walked in without waiting for a reply.

"I paged Dr. Amundsen and let him know that you'd like to begin the oxytocin now," the nurse was saying to Cuddy when he entered the room.

He looked at Cuddy but she wasn't paying him any attention. "How long do you think it will be before you hear back?" she asked the nurse evenly.

"Oh, I don't think it will be too long," she assured her. "There's a note on your chart requesting that he be informed before we act, but I believe he only has two other patients here having babies tonight and I know he's going to want to check you himself so you're definitely on his priority list."

House didn't miss how Cuddy cringed when the nurse mentioned babies. He frowned, wondering how long this aversion to infants would last after she was released from the hospital. Maybe it wasn't just his baby she had issues with now.

The nurse slipped out of the room and House moved closer to Cuddy to scan the readouts and see if her contractions were coming any more regularly. Cuddy didn't pay him any attention. House checked her screen to find her blood pressure was still higher than normal, but it wasn't sending off red flags. He looked to the baby monitor then and smiled before reaching to turn the volume up on the heartbeat.

"Turn that down," Cuddy immediately got after him.

He shot a probing glance her way but finally did as requested. "Do you need anything?" he asked after a moment.

She shook her head and House nodded before heading back to his book.

Five minutes later the doctor came in. "You're still only six centimeters," he said after checking Cuddy. "Though you're now 80% effaced."

"Let's do the oxytocin," she responded.

He nodded. "Okay, I'll send a nurse in to get it underway and be back in a bit to see how things are going."

House watched him walk out of the room without comment, not really having any objection anyway to speeding things up a little.

The nurse came in and prepared the IV, entering the needle into Cuddy's arm so that the oxytocin would flow into her bloodstream. Then she adjusted the level being released via the pump, Cuddy watching her carefully. House watched too, realizing it had been a long time since he'd actually been in a hospital room for a patient other than himself when an IV was being put in.

It did not take long for the oxytocin to take effect. Within a half hour, Cuddy's contractions were coming every four minutes and her knuckles were whitening as she gripped the rails to either side of her. House got to his feet in concern, moving quickly to Cuddy's side. Her eyes were closed tightly as she rode out the next contraction and House reached for her, brushing her hair back. "Do you want the dosage lowered?" he asked, hitting the button to bring the nurse.

"No," she groaned out when the contraction neared its end ten seconds later.

The nurse came in and he gave her a pointed look, dropping his hand from Cuddy's face. "I was on my way in," she replied to his unspoken statement.

He turned without responding and went back to his chair, allowing her to do her job and speak with Cuddy.

* * *

At 11 p.m. the doctor updated them, letting House and Cuddy know that she was now 100% effaced but that despite regular contractions, now every two minutes, she was only at eight centimeters. Cuddy requested that he increase the oxytocin level but he told her he wanted to wait a couple more hours before even considering that, telling the both of them that he was leery of how that would affect her contractions. He was concerned they'd become too close together and too strong. House could tell Cuddy wanted to argue, but for once she did not react the way he thought she would, instead holding her tongue.

* * *

By 12:30 a.m., House was nodding off in his chair. Other than a short nap, he hadn't slept in about 42 hours, too busy with final preparations for the baby. He'd only slept a few hours the night before that, following his encounter with Lucas.

Cuddy turned her attention to him when he began snoring and it wasn't long before she was pissed off. How dare House sleep while she endured contraction after contraction?! Reaching for her water glass, she finished it off and then flung the plastic cup at him, immensely pleased with herself when it bounced off his chest and he startled awake, almost falling out of his chair.

He looked around wildly, his eyes bleary. Then his eyes focused on the cup still rolling around on the floor before he turned his gaze to Cuddy.

"You don't get to sleep," Cuddy angrily informed him.

His eyebrows rose in surprise as he stared at her. Then he started to laugh, his laughter thick with sleep, finding it highly amusing that she'd chucked a plastic cup at him for falling asleep. "I'm tired," he defended himself, shrugging.

Her gaze hardened but that just made him smile all the more. "Come on, Cuddy," he cajoled. "I haven't slept much the past few days."

"And you think I care?" she bit out, her outrage escalating.

House looked away, trying to control his expression. He was tired of being angry with her. And for some reason her irritation struck him as being really funny. It was hard to put a poker face on when she'd awoken him as she had.

"Get out," she muttered a second later.

House sobered and returned his eyes to her. "Alright, alright. I won't sleep," he tried to appease.

"Get out," she repeated, her tone firm.

House glanced over her shoulder to notice her blood pressure was climbing. He got out of his chair and walked over to her. "You need to calm down, Cuddy," he told her, his hand stretched out to rest on her shoulder. "Your blood pressure is rising."

She looked at his hand on her shoulder and then back to his face, her eyes icy.

House dropped his hand immediately, taking a step back.

"Get out," she repeated, pointing to the door as another contraction hit her and she groaned, her hands dropping to clutch the sheets.

He waited for the contraction to pass but her expression did not change. Seeing nothing for it, he sighed and nodded. "Call me if you need anything," he mumbled before checking his pocket to make sure he had his phone. Then he turned and made his way to the door, slipping out and closing it behind him.

House pulled his phone out and walked the corridor before ringing Wilson.

"House?" Wilson croaked a few seconds later into the phone. "Was the baby born?"

House laughed. "Not yet."

"Then why are you calling me?" Wilson demanded disbelievingly.

House rolled his eyes but smiled. "I got kicked out. I'm bored."

"By staff or Cuddy?" Wilson asked curiously, waking up a little now.

"Cuddy," he dryly replied.

"Did you deserve it?" Wilson asked hopefully then.

House chuckled. "Not that I know of but one never truly knows," he quipped, shrugging as if to say anything was possible, though Wilson was not present to see him shrug.

"But everything's okay?" Wilson inquired.

"She's having contractions every couple minutes. The doctor should be in soon to see where she's at. She was 100% effaced at eleven but at midnight the nurse checked and she was still only eight centimeters," he informed him. "The contractions don't seem to be accomplishing much at the moment. Either that or her body's putting up a fight."

"Oh," Wilson replied, his eyes starting to drift closed. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

House found it amusing that Wilson asked his permission. "Sure, Wilson. I'll talk to you later."

"Night House," he mumbled.

House hung up without reply. He switched his phone to vibrate before tucking it back in his pocket. Then he rubbed his eyes, trying to wake himself back up.

He paced the hallway, at first to wake himself and then because now that he was stuck in the hallway, he had too much nervous energy built up within to find someplace to sit and wait it out. He didn't understand Cuddy at all but he had come to conclude he never would. Like the epidural thing. What was that about?! Maybe if she'd have taken it, her body would have dilated faster, finding no resistance. House was actually quite convinced that she didn't want the epidural just because she wanted him to watch her suffer and see the full extent of what she was enduring in order to give him the kid he had forced her to carry nine months. He figured he ought to enjoy the peace while he could. He was certain the peace would only hold so long.

* * *

Cuddy quickly grew tired of waiting for the doctor to return and up the oxytocin. Deciding to take matters into her own hands and having observed the nurse closely enough before to know the code she needed for such an adjustment, she climbed out of the bed being careful to not disturb the IV. Then she carefully reached for the pump and increased the flow ever so gradually before returning to the bed, quite proud of herself at having successfully completed her mission.

But she hadn't even scooted back on the bed when the nurse came hurrying in. "You should have called me if you needed to get up," the nurse said.

"I was just stretching," Cuddy explained.

The nurse frowned. "Well, in moving you disrupted the fetal monitor."

Cuddy stared at her for a moment. "Can I go to the bathroom?" she asked finally.

"Yeah," the nurse replied. "I'll help you with your IV."

* * *

House turned down the hallway Cuddy was on and looked up to see two nurses and Dr. Amundsen outside Cuddy's door, talking agitatedly.

He quickly made his way in that direction. "What's wrong?" he asked immediately, his gaze centered on the doctor.

"Dr. Cuddy apparently decided to adjust her oxytocin," Dr. Amundsen wryly replied, rubbing his forehead in frustration.

"What? How?" House asked in disbelief.

"I think she must have seen the nurse enter the code earlier. That's all I can conclude," he said somberly.

House reached for the door but didn't open it, his mouth firming. "Just how much did she adjust it?" he demanded.

"Not enough to concern me greatly but enough that her contractions are speeding up," the doctor replied.

House groaned in irritation. "How did you catch it?"

"The fetal monitor was disturbed and that attracted the nurse's attention. When she got there, Dr. Cuddy said she needed to go to the bathroom. The nurse noticed when she went to help Dr. Cuddy with the IV," Dr. Amundsen answered.

House didn't need to hear any more. He shoved the door open and stormed over to Cuddy but he didn't say anything as he just stared at her, wanting to wring her neck for taking her well-being into her own hands. She didn't even look at him, breathing hard and sweating profusely now, in the midst of a contraction. The contraction had barely ended when another began. House shot a worried glance at Dr. Amundsen, who had followed him back in.

Wordlessly he checked Cuddy and pursed his lips, looking from House to Cuddy. "You still have a centimeter to go," he told her.

"I want to push," she panted.

"You can't push. You'll tear, Cuddy. You're not ready," House said sharply.

Her head whipped up, eyes flashing. "This is all your fault!"

He tilted his head slightly to the side. "I would disagree with you. If you had been patient and hadn't taken matters into your own hands, your contractions wouldn't be right on top of each other like they are now," House said grumpily.

Dr. Amundsen moved as if to intervene but he came to a standstill at Dr. Cuddy's next words.

"I wouldn't be pregnant if you had kept your pants zipped," she flung back at House, her words barbed as another contraction swept over her.

He shook his head in bafflement, doing a double take, and then retorted, "Well, if you hadn't come to my apartment that night looking to get laid, my pants wouldn't have unzipped."

"Enough!" Dr. Amundsen interrupted, his hands coming up as if to separate the two. "I don't need you two fighting! There's a baby that needs to be born and if you don't calm down, Dr. Cuddy, you're going to risk your own health as well."

House looked chagrined but Cuddy just turned her furious countenance to the doctor. "Don't say that word in here," she stated mutinously.

There was no doubt in either of their minds what word she was referring to.

Dr. Amundsen held up a hand as if in apology. "I'm going to step out for a moment," he said then. "It would be nice if you both could refrain from killing each other in my absence."

House nodded and moved away, limping over to the window to peer out into the night.

* * *

The next couple hours were brutal. House compared them to the withdrawal he'd gone through at Mayfield in going off Vicodin. What the withdrawal did to his body, the next two hours did to his soul. He wasn't quite sure how things had escalated but he knew there wasn't that much of a time lapse between when the doctor left the room and when Cuddy lost it, ranting and raving, screaming and cursing House a blue streak. He seriously thought the old adage of someone's swearing reaching the point of making a sailor blush was an accurate depiction of Cuddy now. Anything he'd ever done, any hurt he'd ever inflicted, any word he'd ever said to her and lived to regret, any and every piece of dirty laundry that Cuddy had stowed away within herself somewhere came boiling over and spewing out her mouth. She went off on how she regretted meeting him in med school, each time she'd saved his life, having hired him, having perjured herself at his trial, having ever felt anything besides hatred for him and having ever entered his apartment that fateful night that brought her here now. Dr. Amundsen returned before she'd even warmed up but he'd been unsuccessful in calming Cuddy down and House kept his mouth shut, set upon enduring it.

Dr. Amundsen was gone from the room when Cuddy reached ten centimeters shortly after three and was finally allowed to push, but the nurses who had come in tried in vain to redirect her attention from House to concentrating on getting through each contraction, concerned that she would run out of energy before the baby was born. Yet there was no stopping her. The belligerence continued. By four, the nurses gave up and encouraged House to leave and wait in the hallway. House was actually quite alright with that idea. Retreat had been subtly calling his name more and more regularly as the minutes turned to hours. Cuddy however, wasn't. The minute House moved for the door, she started freaking out, yelling that he couldn't go anywhere, couldn't abandon her to do this alone. It didn't make any sense to him. She didn't want him to go, but she clearly didn't want him to stay.

The nurses told her to push but Cuddy was making no progress, having spent all her energy on lashing out. House sighed in relief when Dr. Amundsen came in and the nurses scurried out like frightened mice, returning somewhat reluctantly a few minutes later from their breather. The doctor told Cuddy to bear down on the next contraction and she did, the baby descending a centimeter more in the process. But then she pushed through several more contractions with no change in the baby's position, as if the baby was stuck. House saw her wilting before his eyes and glanced at the doctor in concern.

But Dr. Amundsen was focused on Cuddy. "Lisa, you need to push NOW! The baby's too far down for me to do a cesarean. You need to push!"

Without even thinking about it, House gingerly climbed up on the bed on the next contraction and carefully moved his leg around her, finally scooting forward on the bed so that her back was to his chest.

Cuddy stiffened and House frowned before a thought formed in his mind, a useful one he figured, though it sprang out of a painful memory. "Just pretend I'm whoever you need me to be, Cuddy," he whispered to the air by her ear. "Pretend I'm whoever you wish was here with you right now. Let me just do what I can to help you through this." House did not doubt it would be someone else entirely, 90% convinced it would be Lucas she wanted still.

Cuddy fell back against him, sobbing at this point from the force of each contraction, but she relaxed into him slightly and her focus shifted from anger at him to purposefulness in pushing. He brushed her damp hair to the side to expose her ear and then attempted to soothe her. When she leaned forward to bear down during the next contraction, House's hands tried to work some of the tension out of her back and shoulders while supporting her body as she pushed. It continued like this for some time, Dr. Amundsen staying with them while she pushed with no results. The baby just appeared to be well-lodged. By five a.m., Cuddy was ready to give up.

A contraction had just wiped her out when she fell back against House, her head turning to the side and into his chest. Crying, she mumbled, "I can't do it. I just can't do it anymore, House."

"You can," he murmured gently. "You can Cuddy. You're strong. You're stronger than you think."

Dr. Amundsen told her to push as another contraction hit and this time the baby moved several centimeters. "You're doing good, Lisa," he told her in encouragement. "The head is crowning."

"Can I see?" House asked, surprising himself as he leaned to the side of Cuddy. When she made no objection Dr. Amundsen had the nurse position a mirror so that House could see the baby's head and would be able to watch it be delivered. He stared at the wet dark curls on the baby's head peeking out of Cuddy's body, something tightening in his chest.

Cuddy's eyes were screwed shut in pain. The next contraction hit and she bore down, the baby's head moving partway out as Dr. Amundsen worked to stretch her skin to make it easier for the baby to get out without Cuddy tearing. One more contraction and the head was free. The baby's head was facedown but turned to the side after clearing her pelvis.

"Don't push on the next contraction," Dr. Amundsen instructed, as her skin was still too tight and he wanted to work the baby's shoulders loose if he could, without causing her to tear.

But Cuddy was close to the end and she knew it. A little tearing was a worthwhile venture to bring this suffering to an end. The contraction hit and she pushed, one shoulder and then the other dislodging as her skin tore to free them. One more contraction and one last push and the baby slipped out completely. House watched in amazement from Cuddy's shoulder.

He pressed a kiss to Cuddy's temple without a second thought before sliding back and carefully disentangling himself from her. Once he cleared the bed, she collapsed back onto it.

Dr. Amundsen was suctioning out the baby's mouth and nose and House approached, holding his breath as he waited for the first cry. And then it came, the baby's head bobbing as she sucked in oxygen for the first time and let out a wail of indignation, her eyes opening and closing rapidly as she tried to adjust to the light.

A nurse wordlessly clamped the umbilical cord once it had stopped pulsing and extended him the scissors to cut it. House did so, his face beaming with paternal pride.

"Out, out, out," Cuddy exclaimed then, almost panicked by the baby's cries, and House turned back to her as the nurses took the baby, attached a tiny hospital band to her ankle, and wrapped her up before heading for the door to go to the room they'd prearranged for this purpose, across the hall and one room over.

Dr. Amundsen still had to deliver the placenta but House stepped around him to go to Cuddy's side. He approached her almost reverently, feeling so many emotions in that moment that it was beyond overwhelming to him. Hesitantly, he brushed the hair away from her face and smoothed it behind her ear. Her eyes were closed as she tried to regulate her breathing but House wanted to see them and so he stroked her cheek before murmuring, "Cuddy, look at me."

She tensed but then Cuddy did open her eyes to meet his and he searched her pain-filled orbs before softly saying, "I'm proud of you, Cuddy. You did it. You made it. And…thank you," he mumbled uncomfortably, before leaning in to press a gentle kiss to her parted lips.

She maintained eye contact for a moment, caught off guard by what House had just said and done. Then Dr. Amundsen told her he was going to press down on her belly to expel the placenta and her eyes flickered away from House and closed as her head turned away.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" he asked, wanting to be sure not just that she would be alright, but that she still wanted him to walk away, taking the baby with him.

Cuddy shook her head. Pleadingly, she mumbled, "Just go. Please just go."

House nodded and then his hand came up to stroke the side of her face one final time. "Goodbye, Cuddy," he murmured before he turned quietly and headed for the door, grabbing his bag and book on his way out.

Cuddy heard the door open and shut as he left her and the room behind. She felt Dr. Amundsen's hand on her belly as he pressed down on her uterus, the placenta slipping free with the next contraction. She smelled the coppery scent of blood, mixed with that of her sweat. She tasted salt on her lips as she attempted to wet them. But all she saw was the darkness behind her closed eyelids as she waited and waited and waited for the relief to sweep over her that she'd expected to feel now that it was over. It never came.

* * *

House shut the door behind him and then stood there, leaning back on it, his eyes closed. He'd done it. He'd survived. Now he was free to walk away. In fact, Cuddy had sent him on his way.

House sighed. He knew she didn't want him. She didn't need him for anything now. And she had repeatedly made it clear she wanted nothing to do with their child. He knew he should walk away. His daughter was waiting. But his heart was telling him to go get the baby and bring her into Cuddy's room; to force Cuddy to see reason, to see what she was walking away from.

His hands clenched and he made a decision. His daughter needed him. Cuddy didn't. He might not know how to walk away from her, but he'd do what he had to do.

-----

"_**What ravages of spirit  
Conjured this temptuous rage  
Created you a monster  
Broken by the rule of love  
And fate has led you through it  
You do what you have to do  
And fate has led you through it  
You do what you have to do**_

_**  
And I have the sense to recognize  
That I don**__**'**__**t know how to let you go  
**_

_**Every moment marked  
With apparitions of your soul  
I**__**'**__**m ever swiftly moving  
Trying to escape this desire  
The yearning to be near you  
I do what I have to do  
The yearning to be near you  
I do what I have to do**_

_**  
And I have the sense to recognize  
That I don**__**'**__**t know how to let you go  
I don**__**'**__**t know how to let you go  
A glowing ember  
Burning hot  
And burning slow  
Deep within I**__**'**__**m shaken by the violence  
Of existing for only you  
I know I can**__**'**__**t be with you  
I do what I have to do  
I know I can**__**'**__**t be with you  
I do what I have to do**_

_**  
And I have the sense to recognize**_

_**But I don**__**'**__**t know how to let you go  
I don**__**'**__**t know how to let you go  
I don**__**'**__**t know how to let you go"**_

* * *

Song: "Do What You Have To Do" (Sarah McLachlan)


	30. Hopeless

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

"Dr. House?"

House stepped away from Cuddy's door and turned his gaze to the nurse who had spoken to him.

"Would you like to see your daughter now?" she asked, smiling softly.

He nodded and followed her as she walked past him and led the way to the room where he and the baby would be until she was released from the hospital.

"Don't forget about taking pictures," she prompted as she opened the door.

House nodded and reached in the side of his bag to remove the camera.

He was surprised and yet suddenly grateful when he walked in to find that they had waited for him to take measurements. Now that she was here and he had a new focus on life, he didn't want to miss out on anything. His daughter deserved that, especially considering her motherless future. She deserved at least one parent who wouldn't miss out on all the important stuff.

House watched as another nurse propped his daughter up on a warming table and rubbed a blanket over her to clean her off. The baby appeared to be looking at him watchfully, though of course he knew he was too far away yet for her to see him. The color was a little darker shade at present, but House immediately recognized his eyes staring right back at him. The nurse who had come in with him noticed his preoccupation and reached for the camera, taking it from him with the intention of helping him out.

House turned it over to her without argument, momentarily shifting his focus to her to explain how to turn it on and zoom in and out. Then he returned his attention to the baby, studying her in concentration.

The nurse lifted her up and carried her to the pediatric scale and the baby's startle reflexes kicked in when she was released to lie there. "Eight pounds, five ounces," the nurse informed an intern who was there filling out the chart. "And twenty-one inches," she added before moving to pick the baby back up. She laid the baby down and diapered her before slipping a wrap-around shirt on her and swaddling her with a blanket. Then she turned and came in House's direction, ready to pass his daughter to him.

House approached almost tentatively, suddenly afraid of this creature before him. When he was finally standing in front of the nurse she adjusted her hold on the infant so that House could take her. He picked her up gingerly and then held the fragile little bundle of blankets and baby out in front of his face, their eyes locking in direct eye contact. They stared at each other then, father contemplating daughter and daughter scrutinizing father. House wondered if he measured up. When she pouted but otherwise made no noise, he decided she was willing to settle for what she got. He admired her; a certainty sweeping over him that indicated she would be just as intoxicating to him as Vicodin had once been.

The nurse took several pictures while House was too distracted to even notice. He couldn't even speak to introduce himself properly to his kid. After several minutes the other nurse took the baby from him to unwrap and ink her feet, impressing her little foot on her birth certificate to record her footprint.

The intern brought over a plastic container and filled it with water while the nurse stripped the baby back down and turned her over so that her chest was laying into the nurse's gloved palm. House found himself counting every finger and toe, recording her perfection despite having known from the ultrasound that she had all ten digits. The baby's fists curled but she remained quiet as the nurse dipped her legs and lowered her into the water, using her other hand to wash the baby off. When the nurse was satisfied she went to work on the baby's hair, trying to clean out any remaining debris from delivery. Then she sat her upright on the table, a hand holding her steady, and reached for the comb.

House stepped closer, bringing himself down to eye level with the baby, tracing her features with his eyes and realizing that with the exception of her eyes, she was a miniature baby version of her mother. Something clenched in his chest as that realization but it quickly got pushed aside as the nurse began to run the comb through her dark hair and his daughter shot him the most miserable look he'd ever seen on a baby's face, her lips beginning to quiver until she started to cry. In that moment House knew he was officially a father. He realized he was joining the ranks of suckers before him. She could open her little mouth and demand a pony right this minute and he'd say okay and then start listing different kinds for her to pick from. Though he'd probably encourage her to get a horse instead – maybe one of those Clydesdales from the beer commercials. He wondered briefly how much they ate in a day and how much waste that generated.

Her cries progressed to squalls of outrage and House chuckled, appreciating his daughter's lungs. Once she had a diaper secured on the infant, her head circumference recorded, and a baby cap on her head, the nurse laid the baby under the heating lamp and attached a heart monitor to her chest. House moved in and couldn't help but slip his finger into her tiny hand. He smiled when she automatically grasped on, her long, little fingers wrapping around it. She was going to play the piano, House decided. He'd teach her himself.

While the other nurse excused herself to get a bottle ready for House to feed the baby, the nurse who had led him into the room asked, "What are you going to call her?"

House didn't take his eyes from the baby. "Georgia. Georgia Eve House," he replied quietly before addressing the infant herself. "Hi kid. I'm your dad."

* * *

The nurses had some paperwork they needed him to fill out and so an hour later House found himself seated in a chair at the table, his daughter in the crook of arm, a pen in his hand. He realized that he hadn't called Wilson yet and reached for his phone after signing the last page. Five missed calls. He glanced at the recent calls to find Wilson had called him four times over the course of the morning and that Cameron had just rang him within the last hour. He listened to his voicemail and laughed at how Wilson was ranting about not hearing anything all night from him. The last voicemail was Cameron and he could tell that while she was generally interested in what was going on, she didn't want to bug him but was mainly calling because Wilson kept tracking her down to ask if she'd heard anything. Disconnecting the call, he turned on the camera function and snapped a picture of the baby before he smirked and forwarded it to both of them. Then he set his phone down on the table to get to his feet, the baby in his arms, walking the length of the room to stretch his legs, his bad thigh aching after sitting with Cuddy on the hospital bed for the last hours of her labor and then sitting at the table to do paperwork.

His phone rang and he laughed as he returned to the table to answer it. It was Cameron. House was amused that she'd beat Wilson.

"Hey," House greeted her, chuckling into the phone.

"How are you? How is she? What's her name? How much does she weigh? How many inches is she? What was her Apgar score?" Cameron excitedly shot at him, one question right on top of another.

"Breathe, Cameron," he sarcastically replied, amused by the landslide of inquiries. "Slow down. I haven't slept in a long time. I can't keep up with you."

"You're telling me your brain is operating in slow mode? I didn't know that was possible," Cameron dryly quipped before her voice softened and she said, "She's beautiful, House. What's her name?"

"If I tell you, you have to be sure to run right off and taunt Wilson about not being the first to know," he suggested playfully, smirking into the phone.

Cameron smiled. "I was just by his office because he hadn't bothered me in the past hour about whether I'd heard from you or not and I thought you might have been in touch. But he's in with a terminal patient. I bet he's dying to call you as we speak though."

"Cameron, that's a terrible play on words," he scolded. "And I thought you actually cared about the patients!"

"House!" she whined. "Just tell me about the baby. I'm holed up in the boiler room because I didn't want anyone to hear me."

House sighed dramatically before launching into the details he knew women always wanted to hear. "She was born at 5:27 a.m. this morning, weighing in at eight pounds, five ounces and twenty-one inches long. She has my eyes but definitely Cuddy's face and hair color," he recited, feeling only a slight pang go through his chest at voicing it. "Her Apgar score was a nine at one minute and a ten at five minutes. I gave her a bottle about forty-five minutes ago and she drank about two ounces to start with. She's nice and pink and here with me sleeping right now," he finished. "I'm just waiting for them to come get us to do her hearing and blood tests."

"And her name?" Cameron prompted.

"Georgia Eve House. Georgia because… I like the state. Eve, after Cuddy's mom, Evelyn. And House after yours truly," he quipped.

"It's a beautiful name, House," she said in contentment, sighing. "And you're doing well?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just tired," he admitted.

Cameron hesitated and House knew what she wanted to ask. He didn't make her voice the question. "Cuddy's fine. I was in with her when the baby was born and it was a long, drawn out affair but she survived it. I left to be with the baby while the doctor delivered the placenta. He stopped in a while after and said she had some tearing that he'd had to repair but otherwise she was physically in good shape, just in need of some sleep."

"Did she…?" Cameron began.

"No," House interrupted. "She never saw her. She sent the baby out as soon as the cord was cut."

Cameron didn't say anything for a moment but House knew she was still there. Changing the subject he asked, "Are you going to swing by? We'll be here until 5:30 p.m. and then the doctor said they'll release her. He only wants to keep her twelve hours for observation and I'd rather not be here any longer than I have to. I spend enough time in hospitals as it is."

"Understandable," she replied, though she wondered if he also just wanted to get as far away from Cuddy as he could. "I was hoping I could swing by on my lunch break, as long as you didn't mind. I got called in a little early so I thought I'd make up the time by taking a longer lunch."

"Works for me. I'm in…" House walked to stick his head out the door to see the room number. "Room 418."

"I'll see if Wilson can come along," she suggested then. Either way, I'll see you around 11:30."

"Sounds good, Cameron," he said, removing the phone from his ear to glance at it as it had begun vibrating. "Wilson's calling," he told her, chuckling. "I better answer so he doesn't wet his pants in excitement."

"Bye House," she muttered, rolling her eyes.

House hit talk and the call switched over to Wilson. "Well look who's finally decided to return my call," he sarcastically quipped.

"As if you can talk," Wilson mumbled. "I spent half the morning calling you."

"I've been a little occupied having myself a cone-headed kid," House pointed out.

Wilson chuckled before saying, "Her head looked fine to me."

"It's the back of it," House replied, sighing in dismay. "Cuddy's birth canal did a number to my kid. Though the nurses assure me she'll have a nice, little round head like all the other nursery-dwellers within a few days."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Not to inflate YOUR already disproportioned head but she's beautiful House," he told him, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"She looks like Cuddy," House softly mumbled, indirectly acknowledging to his best buddy that the situation hadn't left him completely unscathed.

"It looks like her eyes are yours though," Wilson replied as if to comfort him. "Am I right?"

House smiled. "They are," he answered smugly.

"I think she's got more hair than you, though," Wilson teased.

"Shut up," House grunted, though he chuckled a moment later.

"And her name?" Wilson pressed then.

"Oh, you'll have to ask Cameron," House taunted. "She called first so she gets to be the bearer of names."

"Is it already on her birth certificate or is there still time to undo whatever damage you've done?" Wilson threw right back.

"It's set in stone," House dryly muttered, though he was not as irritated at Wilson's distrust as he pretended to be.

"Come on!" he complained. "Seriously, you have to tell me."

"Her middle name's Eve," House offered reluctantly.

"After the singer?!" Wilson asked in disbelief.

"No!" he negated, shaking his head semi-disturbed at the thought. "Wilson! After Cuddy's mom. Her name is Evelyn."

"You named the baby after Cuddy's mom?" Wilson asked in surprise. "Really?"

"It's just her middle name," he murmured.

"Huh," Wilson replied. "And her first name?"

"George," House quipped, smiling again.

"You named your daughter George? As in, Curious George? Or George Washington? George Michael? Which George?" Wilson queried flatly.

"Just George," he replied quite convincingly.

Wilson ran a hand over his face. House was hopeless. "I guess we can go by her middle name," he finally mumbled.

House chuckled. "Sure thing, Wilson. Sure thing."

Just then the nurse came in and House glanced at her before saying, "Wilson, I gotta go but talk to Cameron. She's going to swing by over her lunch hour if you have some time available then and want to come too. Otherwise the baby's being released from the hospital around 5:30 p.m. and I'm going to take her and head home. You can always come there if lunch doesn't work for you."

"Are you kidding? You think I'm going to let Cameron be the first person to hold your kid? No way! Uncle Wilson is coming," he replied quite seriously.

House shook his head. "Talk to Cameron," he repeated before disconnecting.

"We're ready to do the hearing and blood tests," the nurse informed him when he turned back to face her.

"Great," House replied. "Now works for me."

* * *

House heard a knock at the door and glanced up from where he sat feeding the baby her bottle. "Come in," he called out.

Cameron pushed the door open and stepped in with Wilson right behind, both carrying gifts.

House smiled. "About time you got here," he sarcastically murmured. "I'm getting tired of single parenthood."

Wilson looked at him skeptically but Cameron smiled, not fooled by his words because his face told her he was living it up.

They set the gifts down on the table and then Wilson beat Cameron to House, his arms immediately reaching for the baby. House laughed and turned her over to him without hesitation, setting the bottle down nearby.

Wilson bounced the baby in his arms and looked at House. "George, huh?"

"Georgia," Cameron corrected before House could say anything.

House shot her a dirty look but Wilson looked relieved. "Georgia Eve House," he said then, pursing his lips as he contemplated the name. "You didn't do too bad after all," he finally told House.

House scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Have a little faith in me," he griped. "Like the song says."

"Are you going to call her Georgia or do you have a nickname picked out?" Cameron asked, interrupting their squabbling while she dug her camera out of her purse to take pictures.

House thought about it for a minute before saying, "I was thinking Georgia is kind of a big name for a kid this size. I'm thinking," and he rolled his eyes to emphasize that it wasn't ideal, "she could go by Evie."

"It's cute," Cameron said, nodding.

House saw Wilson about to make a smart comment and quickly added, "But I'll call her George."

The expression on Wilson's face quickly got wiped away. "She's a girl, House," he muttered. "You can't call her George. Everyone will think she's a boy."

"Well then you can just put one of those pink, frilly outfits you bought on her from time to time to correct that assumption," House argued.

Wilson shook his head but remained silent, his eyes shifting to the baby in his arms. Cameron turned too, anxious to get her hands on the infant as well but purposing to get pictures while she was there in case House wasn't.

"She really is beautiful, House," Cameron said, casting a glance his way while snapping a shot of Wilson with Evie.

House nodded without comment, though he looked quite pleased.

Wilson noticed and said, "I don't think that was all your doing."

House laughed. "Well according to the feedback I've received from Cuddy the last several months, it WAS all my doing!"

Wilson chuckled, thankful to see House able to speak lightly of the situation from time to time. It was somewhat reassuring. "Are you sure you want to take her home today? You could hang out here and soak up all the help you can get for a couple days."

House shook his head. "No. I don't really want to be here any longer than I have to. Evie and I need a fresh start. That'll be easier to do with a little distance from this place," he quietly replied, his eyes settling on the baby in Wilson's arms.

Neither Cameron nor Wilson missed his use of the nickname, but neither commented, the mood shifting to a more serious one than had previously filled the room.

"Do you need anything?" Cameron asked. "Is there anything either one of us can do to help you out?"

"If I give you my car keys, will one of you bring up the carrier portion of the car seat before you go?" he asked, his forehead wrinkled in concentration as he tried to think if there was anything else he was forgetting.

"Sure," Wilson replied. "Anything else? Do you have groceries in the house? Do you want us to bring over some food or something?"

"If you want to swing by tomorrow and check on us, that'd be great. I'm trying to convince myself I can do this and so far it's been easy. She eats. She sleeps. She gets her diaper changed. I'll enjoy it while it lasts and then call for reinforcements when the endless crying starts," he quipped. "I still think you should move in, Wilson."

Wilson laughed and suggested, "Maybe we'll all just move in. Cameron can take over the upstairs and I'll grab the basement."

"Chase might have a problem with that," Cameron mentioned in amusement.

"There's plenty of room," Wilson said, shrugging. "He can come too."

"Anybody else at PPTH who should come live with me?" House asked skeptically, knowing no one else at PPTH had the first clue about what had taken place in his life today.

"You could always invite your team," Wilson suggested. "That'd make life interesting."

"Thirteen I could potentially handle. Taub and Foreman? Not a chance," House replied dryly.

"Are you ever going to pass Evie to me?" Cameron asked Wilson then.

He laughed but consented to passing her on to Cameron. She reached for the baby and settled her in her own arms while Wilson took the camera to take some more pictures for her.

"Look at those eyes," Wilson said, staring at the baby. "It's kind of scary to see an innocent, untainted version of House. It just feels wrong."

"Don't worry, Wilson," House assured. "I'll have corrupted her in no time."

Cameron sat down and unwrapped the baby to see her hands and feet. "Look at those long fingers," she murmured.

"Piano lessons?" Wilson asked, smiling.

House nodded. "Is next week too soon to start?" he asked seriously.

Cameron laughed. "Yeah, I think so."

* * *

Cuddy turned onto her side when the nurse was done checking her over. They said everything looked good but nothing felt good, she thought to herself. She curled up into a fetal position as carefully as she could, being that everything hurt. She was exhausted but she couldn't seem to sleep. The nurses and doctor who had taken over for Dr. Amundsen came and went but she felt so alone. She wondered where House was now but then pushed the thought away, unable to think of him, unable to think of who he was with.

She could no longer deny the existence of a baby her pregnancy had obviously culminated with. But she didn't want to think about it, didn't want to think about what thinking about it would mean. So she suppressed any thoughts that came her way, like whether it was a girl or a boy, what House had named it, what House thought of it, what House thought of her because of it. No. Asking questions would do her no good. She needed to be free from this. She needed to be free from the past year.

Briefly she thought of leaving the hospital. They couldn't keep her here if she wanted to leave and the idea of being in her own bed was almost a comfort. But then she thought about what that meant and the idea of going home didn't appeal as much when she knew she'd have to give the nanny some explanation for what had happened and then have to care for Rachel by herself when the nanny left. She didn't have the energy to even contemplate that. It didn't seem like such a wise move now, this giving the nanny time off to go on vacation while she readjusted to life with Rachel, her own supposed vacation. But then having a nanny underfoot asking all kinds of questions or watching her in concern was not ideal, either. She reached to the side table beside the bed and picked up her phone to call the nanny and check in. It would be better to give her a story now and let her have a couple days to adjust to it than to make a story up on the spot and risk the nanny becoming suspicious. She rang her home number, settling on the story she'd come up with, guaranteed to reduce questions and increase people's sympathy for her adjustment in the days and weeks ahead.

* * *

The doctor had just been in and given House the all-clear to take Evie home. He reached for the bag he'd brought with him and pulled out the clothes he'd taken along for her, a soft yellow outfit with ducks on it that he'd thought Cuddy might have found cute, had she been the one bringing their daughter home. It sucked being mom and dad to a kid, he thought then. He'd probably bring her home in a t-shirt that said "Bad-Ass Baby" if it hadn't bothered him that she had no mother to protest his choice. He wished it didn't weigh so heavily. And someday maybe it wouldn't but today it did.

He turned to where she lay in the clear bassinet and carefully unwrapped her, changing her diaper while he was at it. He lifted her up and held her to his chest before picking up the outfit with his free hand and lying it down. Then he settled her on top of it to slip her within. This was the woman's job, he thought for the fiftieth time. Everything seemed like the woman's job. He felt like he was dressing a baby doll, except that if she were a baby doll he wouldn't treat her as carefully as he was right now. And of course, he wouldn't be caught dead dressing a doll.

Evie yawned though her eyes remained closed, her little arm batting at the air a second while he carefully tucked her legs inside the outfit, shaking his head at how they didn't want to go in the leg holes because her body was still used to being cramped up in a small space, legs and arms folded in close to her body. The outfit was huge on her but he was positive it said 0-3 months on the tag. He'd checked and double-checked before leaving the house the day before. He looked at the clock and noted it was exactly five thirty. Reaching for the baby carrier, he settled her within and then buckled her up, frowning as he contemplated whether to cover her with a blanket too. Most people overdressed their kids when they took them home from the hospital. House decided a blanket wouldn't hurt. He tucked the soft, fuzzy yellow blanket Cameron had brought in her gift bag over the baby and finally reached for the gift bags to tuck them within his duffle bag. Wilson's gift bag had contained a dollhouse-sized rocking chair and when House had looked at him in leery disbelief, he had shrugged and said he'd bought a rocking chair for the baby's room and brought it over to the house the night before after work. The mini rocking chair was Cameron's idea. House had shaken his head but thanked them both. He did NOT see himself as a rocking chair guy. But who knew? Maybe it would get used by someone.

The door opened and he turned around to see one of the nurses enter. "I see you are all ready to go. Do you want the free wheelchair ride?" she asked teasingly, smiling at him.

He actually contemplated it for a moment but then shook his head. "Nope, though if someone wants to carry my bag for me, I'd take that offer."

She nodded. "By law we have to make sure you have a car seat with you anyway. I'll call for an intern and he can carry the bag for you."

While she walked over to the phone and placed a call, House looked around the room to be sure he had everything, including the free samples the hospital sent home with new babies. A minute later an intern walked in and the nurse gave him his instructions before wishing House good luck and slipping out. House passed him the bag and then lifted the baby carrier by the handle, thinking he was ready to go.

They exited the room and the intern turned in the direction of the elevators, leading the way right past Cuddy's room. House came to a standstill outside the door, frowning in concentration.

The intern realized he'd stopped and turned around, a quizzical expression on his face. "Did you forget something?" the guy asked him.

House sighed after a moment, his eyes on the floor. "No. I guess not," he murmured finally.

A few seconds later he brought his eyes back up to meet those of the intern. House nodded to let him know he was coming and the intern turned, heading for the elevator once more. House reached out hesitantly and touched the door of Cuddy's room for a second with his free hand, staring at it before letting it drop to his side. He hoped Cuddy knew what she was doing. And he hoped he was doing the right thing in walking away like this and respecting her decisions. Despite everything, he felt divided between the daughter who needed him and the woman who still held his heart. But she'd made her decision. She didn't want him. Nor did she want their child. So it was time for him to make a decision. Did he continue to waste his time and energy fighting for the impossible? Or did he do what he needed to do and just move on with his life, building something new out of the ashes? Shaking his head he turned and followed after the intern, his jaw clenched in determination, disregarding how his chest ached. Who knew what was right and what was wrong for anyone anymore? He certainly didn't. He just hoped that someone would be there for Cuddy should she need them, especially now that it couldn't be him.

-----

"_**I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why  
Everything gotta change around me  
I'd tell it to your face  
But you lost your face along the way  
And I'd say it on the phone  
If I thought you were alone  
Why do things have to change?**_

_**But you don't need my pictures on your wall  
You say you need no one  
And you don't need my secret midnight call  
I guess you need no one  
Is anybody waiting at home for you?  
'Cause it's time that will tell if it's heaven, if it's hell or if it's  
Anybody waiting at home for you  
'Cause it's time that will tell this tale**_

_**You're in and out up and down  
Wonder if you're lost or found  
But I got my hands on you  
Are you strong enough to tow the line  
Are you gonna make me yours?  
Or do I make you mine?  
I'm in and out, I'm up and down  
Wonder if I'm lost or found  
But I need your hands on me now**_

_**But you don't need my pictures on your wall  
You say you need no one  
And you don't need my secret midnight call  
I guess you need no one**_

_**  
Is anybody waiting at home for you?  
'Cause it's time that will tell if it's heaven, if it's hell or if it's  
Anybody waiting at home for you?  
'Cause it's time that will tell this tale**_

**_I hopelessly, helplessly, wonder why  
Everything gotta change"_**

* * *

Song: "Hopeless" (Train)


	31. Almost Lover

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Loving the reviews!!! Thanks so much!!!)_

* * *

House got home and carried the baby into the house, thinking this had to be the strangest twist his life had taken to date. This certainly wasn't something he'd ever planned for. He'd never even given much thought to kids. But if he had, he wouldn't have expected to be the one responsible to meet all its needs. To be standing here, a single father of a newborn, shook him up more than a little. He wondered if this kid would survive the experience. Okay, he wondered if HE'D survive the experience.

House left Evie in her baby carrier and ran back out for his bag, returning a minute later. Since she was asleep he decided to take advantage of that fact and unpacked before setting things up in the kitchen so that he could prepare her bottle a little later. Then he headed back to the living room and unbuckled her, lifting her free from her confinement to hold her and do the whole bonding thing he knew he was supposed to work on now.

House gave Evie her bottle, holding her close so that she could see his face. She stared at him the whole time. He stared back. He had a feeling the staring was going to become a regular part of their relationship.

When she blinked he said, "Good effort kid but it's going to take a lot of work to compete against my years of experience."

She yawned, the bottle slipping from her mouth, her eyes blinking open and shut drowsily now that her belly was full.

House smiled and quipped, "You don't look nearly as impressed as you should be with my mad skills."

When she fell asleep, disinterested in drinking more formula, House set the bottle aside and turned his body on the couch to lay down, Evie on his chest, one hand securely on her rump. He had only meant to rest but he ended up falling asleep, exhausted from going so long without sleep. Evie slept on, her daddy's heartbeat up against her cheek, having no objection to him taking a nap too.

* * *

House woke some time later, quite confused as to where he was. He was surprised to realize it was dark outside and it was only when Evie moved her head a bit that he recognized his circumstances and the fact that he had fallen asleep with her on the couch. Getting up carefully he limped with her to the light switch, flipping it to put a little light on the situation. Then he retrieved her half empty bottle from the floor where he'd knocked it over upon getting up and headed for the kitchen to empty it before carting her off to her room for a diaper change, grateful that it hadn't leaked yet in the few hours they'd slept.

The phone rang and he carried her back into the kitchen to answer it, betting it was Wilson calling to check in. It was.

"Hey," House said in greeting, securing the phone to his shoulder to free the hand that wasn't holding Evie to prepare yet another bottle.

"I take it you made it home fine," Wilson said.

"Yes, Captain Obvious," House quipped. "Given the fact that you called me on my house phone and I answered, I would have to say yes. It would appear that way."

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Nice," he commented. "How's it going? How's the adjustment, Mr. Mom?"

House made a face but then answered honestly, "So far this kid is a piece of cake. I'll be lucky if it continues though. I have a sneaking suspicion that this will prove to be the quiet before the storm."

Wilson laughed and said, "Well, I don't think it would be fair for you to have a kid who didn't give you comeuppance. I've talked to your mother. You deserve a little retribution."

"Don't listen to anything my mother tells you, Wilson," House said confidently. "She was blessed to have me in her life." In actuality, House doubted his mother ever spoke negatively of him, but how was he to know what she and Wilson talked about on their occasional chats?

"Yes, well, we're all blessed that way, aren't we?" Wilson dryly muttered, before asking, "Have you called her yet?"

"No," House stated as if it was a stupid question to ask. "And if you were me or my mother was yours, given the circumstances you'd put it off as long as possible too."

"You can't just NOT tell her, House," Wilson said pointedly. "You should just get it over with."

"Wilson, you can be such a nag," House replied, popping the bottle in Evie's rooting mouth as she began to wake up, her tummy finally in need of more sustenance. "Seriously, you should have been a woman."

He ignored him. "How long has it been since you last called your mother anyway? You know if you don't call her at least every few months, she eventually calls me to check in on you. Don't put me in the position of having to tell her about her grandkid. You know that woman knows when I'm lying."

House rolled his eyes. "That's because you suck at lying. Relax. I'll call her… eventually."

Wilson sighed and rather than enduring a longer lecture, House grabbed at the new excuse life had thrown his way. "Well, I gotta go. The kid needs me."

"Okay. I'll probably come over tomorrow afternoon," Wilson replied.

"Alright. Come whenever you want. We'll be here," House said and then paused, thinking about that and how weird it was to say "we" instead of "I" now.

"Okay. See you, House. Hope she sleeps for you," Wilson said.

"Me too," he agreed before hanging up.

* * *

September 25th, 2010

Cameron's phone rang at 3 a.m. and she startled upright, feeling around for the phone. Chase, who lay beside her, groaned. She glanced his way apologetically as she snapped it open. "Hello?"

"Cameron, I need a differential," House quickly said, clearly stressed out. "I've got you on a conference call with Wilson and I."

"Hey Cameron," Wilson sleepily mumbled.

"House, it's three in the morning!" she moaned, moving back to sit up against the headboard.

Chase turned over at looked at her. "Could you remind him that there's no reason to call at three when neither one of you has yet stepped through the doors of Riverside East?" he grumbled.

She looked at him and shrugged, not knowing what was going on.

"This kid has been crying since a little after one. She won't stop. I've tried everything. Wake Chase up! Tell him I need a differential and I need it now!" House demanded.

"Calm down, House," Wilson attempted to say.

"YOU come over here and try dealing with a kid who doesn't want to stop crying!" House barked.

"I don't hear her," Cameron said then, not understanding why she couldn't hear the baby crying over the phone.

House sighed heavily. "That's because I had to leave her in her crib! I can't hear myself THINK, let alone call you from inside the house. I'm in the garage."

"Well, it might help if you picked her up," Cameron said pointedly.

"It DOESN'T matter! She still cries," House replied angrily.

"What's going on?" Chase said then, propping himself up slightly now that he'd concluded he wouldn't be going back to sleep anytime soon.

"The baby has been crying for a couple hours and House doesn't know what to do," she informed him.

"Come on people! Trying to do a differential here! Need some help!" House sharply announced.

"Maybe she's hungry," Wilson offered at the same time Chase said, "Did he change the kid's diaper?"

House heard both of them and quickly muttered, "I'm not an idiot! Her diaper's dry. And I've tried but she doesn't want a bottle."

"He's a well-known diagnostician and he can't even handle diagnosing a newborn?" Chase sarcastically inquired.

House and Wilson both heard his statement and while Wilson laughed, House just grew angrier. "There are reasons why doctors shouldn't treat people they know," House shot off into the phone, his frustration obvious. "And you're supposed to be intelligent! If you are of no use to me in this, why did I ever hire you in the first place?"

"You didn't hire me," Wilson spoke up.

"If you don't help me right this minute, I am putting that baby in the car and driving her over for you to calm down!" he immediately replied.

Cameron hit the speaker button on her phone and Chase sighed. "House, is she dressed too warmly? Or could she be cold?"

"No!" he gruffly responded, though he was begrudgingly grateful for someone at least giving him something to work with.

"House, you can't just leave her there. Go back in the house and at least make sure she's alright and still crying!" Cameron urged.

"I can hear her where I'm at! She's fine! Or she's not fine but she's alive and breathing, at least," House muttered.

"Maybe she's just tired," Wilson interjected.

"Then she'd be SLEEPING! Not screaming her head off!" House bit out.

"Do you think she's sick?" Chase asked then.

"No fever. No nothing. I don't know. If she is, it isn't apparent. And the doctor said everything looked great before we left. We haven't been on our own THAT long!"

"Gas pains?" Wilson suggested.

"I've tried rubbing her belly. I've tried burping her. I don't know for sure but I don't think so," House replied. "Keep giving me stuff to work with!"

"Maybe it's the formula," Chase threw in. "Maybe she's got some allergy."

"It's possible, I guess," House begrudgingly acknowledged. "Any other ideas?"

Hesitantly, Cameron turned to Chase and quietly asked, "Do you think maybe this has something to do with Cuddy?"

House and Wilson both heard her but neither said anything.

Chase stared at her, frowning. "What are you talking about?" he asked in confusion.

"I don't know..." she wearily began, sighing before saying, "Maybe Evie's… I don't know. Maybe she was just in a hostile environment for nine months and she's reacting to the change. I have no idea!"

"You're suggesting she's having a hard time adjusting because her life sucked… in utero?!" House asked disbelievingly.

"Well I wouldn't have wanted to be in Cuddy's uterus the last nine months!" Cameron grumpily defended.

"It would have been a little cramped," Wilson contributed, laughing.

Chase chuckled but then sobered. "House, strip the kid down to her diaper. And take your shirt off. I've done my share of rounds in Pediatrics. They have that whole Kangaroo care program. You know, where preemies are placed on their parents' chests for contact? It's supposed to be good for bonding too. Since she's not being breastfed, she's not getting as much skin-on-skin contact as she would otherwise. You might as well test out Cameron's theory. You can switch formulas and try that too. But if my wife's right, you'll see faster results."

"You're serious?" House asked skeptically. "You're not just trying to make me look like an idiot?"

Wilson groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. Finally he said, "House, just try it! I'd like to get some sleep tonight, if I could!"

"Fine," House mumbled. "But if it doesn't work, I'm conference calling you guys again!"

"Night House," Chase called, lying back down.

"See you tomorrow," Wilson mumbled, hanging up.

Cameron opened her mouth to say goodbye as well but then she heard another click and realized he had hung up. She shook her head and set her cell phone aside, her head falling back against the wall and her eyes drifting shut as she exhaled her breath, still exhausted. After a moment she scooted back down under the covers, turning on her side to try and sleep while she could, just in case House called back.

* * *

House couldn't believe he was doing this. He felt like a moron for even agreeing to consider this. It was probably colic. But all the same, he entered the house and made his way back to Evie's room, her high-pitched cries increasing in volume the closer he got. Tugging his t-shirt up over his head, he cast it aside in the hallway and opened the door, limping over to lift the red-faced baby up and place her on the changing table, stripping her down. He changed her diaper while he was at it and then settled her on his chest, trying to comfort her as best as he could. But her cries continued, her little body jerking with the force of each cry. When five minutes passed with no change, he thought his old team was made up of idiots. Not quite ready to give up though, as he didn't have much to fall back on, he decided he needed to do something to calm himself down. Carrying her against him back out to the living room, he sat down carefully on the piano bench and held her to him with one arm, his hand supporting her head, and used his free hand to dabble at piano, playing whatever he could do one-handed that came to mind. Ten minutes later he was surprised to realize Evie had stopped crying at some point and was now just shuddering with the forcefulness of her previous sobs.

He continued to play until her breathing evened out completely and he knew she was sleeping. He stared at her little head on his chest in a mixture of wonder and disbelief. He couldn't believe they were right. He decided they couldn't be. She had just exhausted herself after crying so long.

He slowly got to his feet and headed into the kitchen to make a bottle, knowing she was long overdue. As a precaution he opened a different formula and prepared the bottle with that. Moving her so that she lay cradled in the crook of his arm, he slipped the nipple into her mouth and sighed when she began to drink without waking up. This time she drank the whole thing. He settled her on his shoulder afterwards, rubbing her back awkwardly from inexperience as he tried to get her to burp. When she did, he smiled and headed to lay her down in her crib, covering her with a blanket.

But he hadn't even fallen asleep yet when the crying started back up. Shoving himself off the bed, he stumbled back in the direction of her room, quickly lifting her up and replacing her on his chest. She immediately stopped crying and fell back asleep. House sighed in frustration, rolling his eyes. Great. Just great. As if infants weren't needy and dependent enough, his didn't want to part from him now. He huffed out a breath and headed for the rocking chair, eyeing it reluctantly before sinking into it. He rocked for about thirty minutes before his eyes started to drift shut involuntarily. Concerned that he'd drop her if he fell asleep, House decided to try the crib thing again.

Getting up, he stepped back over to it and laid her down once again. But her lower lip started to quiver and he waited, his eyes drooping. Two minutes didn't pass before she started to whimper. Shaking his head, he gave up. House sighed and picked her back up, heading back to his bedroom. He carefully slid himself over until he was in the center and then propped himself up with pillows, one hand resting on her back protectively, where she lay on his chest. His eyes closed in sleep a couple minutes later. They both slept until 6 a.m., when Evie grew hungry once more.

* * *

Other than when he needed the bathroom, House remained shirtless with a baby on his chest until after lunch. Once he'd given Evie her bottle he decided whether or not she cried, he wanted a shower. As he didn't quite trust himself to not drop her if he took her in there with him, he placed her in her crib and stealthily slipped from the room, grabbing the baby monitor to take in the bathroom with him. Spotting his laundry hamper, he had an idea. He grabbed out a shirt he'd worn the day before and headed back to her room momentarily, laying the shirt over her as if she'd be fooled by his smell, even without his skin being attached to it. He then went back into his bathroom, starting up the shower while chuckling in amusement at the idea he'd had.

Thankfully, she slept on. He was able to shower and once dressed, headed to the kitchen to prepare lunch. House made himself a sandwich and then went into the living room to play the piano, hoping that at best, Evie would sleep on undisturbed and at worst, he'd make progress towards training her to sleep through anything and would just be forced to retrieve her from her room otherwise. House wondered how Cuddy was doing and if Evie's birth had brought an end to the madness or if she was no better than she'd been throughout the pregnancy. He sighed. He had asked Cameron to keep an eye on her once she returned to the hospital and she had agreed, more to give him peace of mind and free him from worrying about her than because she really wanted the job. The problem was, he had no idea how quickly Cuddy would return to work and it bothered him to not know anything and know he wouldn't know anything until she did. Still, it wasn't really his problem anymore. He supposed he had to trust that Cuddy would take care of herself or maybe, that her nanny would recognize if something was truly wrong and step in on Cuddy's behalf. House tried to push her from his mind, reminding himself that she did not want his help, or his concern. Cuddy would be fine. She could take care of herself. She'd done so this far. He had to trust that was true. There was nothing else he could do.

The phone rang then and House quickly limped off to get it, in hopes that Evie would continue sleeping awhile.

"House here," he answered.

"Hey, it's Cameron. Just thought I'd check in. You didn't call back last night. How is she?" she asked, in the process of making Chase and herself a late lunch.

House dryly chuckled. "Chase might be onto something," he admitted reluctantly. "But now I'm really screwed. How am I going to go back to work in six weeks if I have to have my kid attached to me 24/7? I can't be her security blanket."

"Maybe it won't last that long. Maybe once she's bonded with you and feels safe or whatever babies feel that reassures them, maybe then it will get easier," she suggested, aiming to encourage him.

House rubbed his temple, ready for a nap. "I hope so because I don't know how we'll survive together if she can't get by without me."

Cameron laughed and quipped, "Well, don't worry. I'm sure around the time she hits puberty and starts to see boys in a different light, she'll be only too happy to send you packing."

"Great," House muttered. "That's so reassuring."

* * *

September 26th, 2010

House sat on his couch, having just laid Evie down for a nap, hoping that she would sleep for a few hours at least. It was actually good to be at home, though he'd had his moments already when he wished he had stayed longer at the hospital, mostly because the kid's nights had both been rough and his sleep patterns were already so messed up by his struggles with insomnia that this business of grabbing two or three hours whenever he could, and with Evie, left him groggy. Really, she slept just as much during the night as she did during the day, the main difference being it was easy enough to hold her while she slept when he was awake, rather than when he too desperately needed shut-eye.

House looked at his watch. He knew what he had to do now; he just didn't really want to do it. Wilson had been over the night before and upon learning House still hadn't yet told his mom that he was a father, had given him that look that told him he'd make House's life miserable until he did. "Besides," Wilson had reminded him. "Your mom will be only too happy to come down and help you out for a while." House had replied something to the effect of not knowing that the extra help was worth the agony of being under the same roof as his mother for more than a few hours once she found out that his baby mama had walked away. But after the night he'd had, he was beginning to think maybe a week or two with his mother in town would be survivable if it allowed him opportunity to get some sleep as he adjusted to this baby thing. Though he wasn't sure he wanted his kid to get too used to having his mother around. What if she bonded too much with his kid and he couldn't get rid of her without Evie crying nonstop? House loved his mother. He felt like he couldn't complain about her. But he also knew her well enough to know she'd have her own opinions of his single parenthood. That was the part he was dreading. She'd want to get involved. And he couldn't allow her to.

Sighing, he went into the kitchen, pouring himself his third cup of coffee before grabbing the cordless phone. Then he carried both items back into the living room, returning to the couch. He wasted another ten minutes trying to get up the nerve to call before he finally released his pent up breath and entered her number, pressing the talk button afterwards to make the call go through.

It rang twice and he was just starting to hope that she wouldn't answer and he'd be able to break the news via voicemail when her voice came over loud and clear. "Hello? Greg? Is that you?" she asked, in a mixture of surprise and undisguised pleasure, having seen his name pop up on Caller ID.

House rolled his eyes and then rubbed the bridge of his nose before replying, "Yeah, mom. I have some news."

* * *

House hung up the phone thirty minutes later once he'd broken the news to his mother that she was now officially a grandma. Thirty minutes had been thirty minutes more than he'd wanted to be in conversation with her, not because he had issues with his mother but because thirty minutes was a lot of time to spend getting lectured on not having told her anything before this. Of course she had asked about the baby's mother but he'd been able to sidetrack her enough, refocusing on the granddaughter she now had to escape going into any detail with her regarding who Evie's mother was or her involvement or lack thereof, at least for now. The downside was that his mother had every intention of being here in two days time, at which point he'd be forced to either lie continuously to her face, an impossible dream at that, OR give her enough detail to stave off her compulsion to mother him to death without satiating her in regards to everything she wanted to know.

The doorbell rang right then and he got to his feet slowly, debating on whether or not to even answer it as he was seriously needing a nap. It had been an exceedingly long night at best. In the end, he limped his way to the door, his leg hurting worse than it had since Cuddy had stopped coming to his apartment, due to the poor quality of sleep he'd had the night before, having spent part of the night in the rocker in hopes of successfully transferring Evie to the crib.

He looked out the peephole, hoping it was Wilson ready to go on duty for a couple hours and give him a break. But instead of Wilson there was an attractive woman standing there. He didn't recognize her but he pulled the door open anyway. When he did, he noticed the kid beside her that he hadn't spotted in the peephole. "Yeah?" he asked, looking back and forth from the kid to the lady.

In one hand she had some sort of dish in a recyclable container, resting against her side to keep it balanced. She stuck her free hand out for him to shake and he raised an eyebrow but shook it anyway. "Hi, my name is Erika Lange and this is my son Trevor. We're your neighbors to the left. As you face the houses, I mean. We thought we'd come over and introduce ourselves. Sorry we haven't come to welcome you before this. I made this casserole for you. I hope you like chicken."

House stared at her. "People still do that?" he asked dubiously.

She smiled widely. "Well, I do. Though I admit when the neighbor across the street moved in, I only had time to whip up some chocolate pudding from a box."

House nodded almost imperceptibly but made no move to take it. He glanced down at the kid and frowned. "What's wrong with you?" he asked pointedly without censoring himself.

The kid glared at him and his mom rushed to intervene. "Trevor's just not having the best day."

"No. I wasn't referring to that sour look on his face. I meant the leg braces," House corrected, still without tact.

Trevor looked even angrier, if that was possible. "None of your business!" he muttered before his mother could intercede.

Erika's eyes widened as she looked at her son in alarm and then glanced back at House, beginning to wonder just who had moved in next door to her. His directness was to the point of being painful. "We don't talk about it," she said after a moment of silence, attempting to calmly break the tension.

House stared at the two of them a second longer but then turned, grabbing his cane where it was hidden from view in the hallway and heading from the foyer into the dining room and to the kitchen beyond. "You can bring it in here," he called back over his shoulder, referring to the casserole.

Erika looked at her son hesitantly but was surprised when he made the first move, entering the house on his own. She followed, shutting the door behind her.

When the two of them entered the kitchen, House pointed to the island. "There'll work," he said gruffly.

She nodded and set it down, turning back to her son. "Well, we should get going," she murmured before glancing back at House. Erika shook her head as if just realizing something. "And your name?" she prompted.

"Greg House," he said noncommittally. "And uh…thanks."

"You're welcome. I hope you enjoy it," she replied, throwing a smile his way before taking a step back into the dining room and towards the front door.

But Trevor didn't move from his spot, staring at House across the kitchen. House stared right back.

Erika came to a halt and turned, casting a confused look Trevor's way. "You coming?" she asked pointedly.

He ignored her. "What happened to you?" he asked House, nodding at the cane.

House glanced down at it and then back at the boy who he estimated to be eight years old. "Infarction. Had a chunk of my thigh removed," he replied nonchalantly, opting to answer the question.

"You farted and they had to remove a part of your thigh?!" the boy asked in horrified surprise.

House pressed his lips together to keep from smiling. "No. That's not what I said. I had an infarction. It means…well, anyway, part of my thigh muscle died and it had to be taken out."

Trevor considered this and then answered his earlier question. "Car accident. Six months ago."

House nodded, considering him. There was something about this kid. Maybe he reminded him a little of himself after the infarction, he didn't know. After a minute he jutted his chin out and quipped, "I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours."

Up until this point, Erika had been staring back and forth between the two of them with a bemused expression, for Trevor hadn't shown any interest in telling anyone the reason for his leg braces since the accident. But now she looked at House in mute alarm before turning to Trevor and quite firmly repeating, "We really should go," holding a hand out to him.

Trevor took a step closer to House and farther away from his mother. "No, I wanna see," he said adamantly.

House reached for his fly and her eyes popped open. "You better have boxers on under there," she quickly said, licking her lips nervously.

"I do," House answered sarcastically, "but little girls should close their eyes anyway."

Erika shook her head. "No. If he gets to see it, I want to see it," she stated, genuinely curious now. This had to be the strangest thing that had ever happened to her but if Trevor was actually opening up to someone, she couldn't hide the fact that she wanted to figure out what was so special about him as to keep Trevor's interest to the point of comparing scars.

House rolled his eyes, his hand still on the zipper of his jeans. "What is this? Elementary school?"

She smiled. "What kind of mother would I be to allow my new neighbor to remove his pants in front of my kid without keeping an eye on the situation?" she sarcastically replied.

He considered that a moment as Trevor looked back and forth between the two adults. "She's got some scars," the kid quite willingly offered information to House.

Erika looked at her son, her eyes wide open once more. "Trevor!" she exclaimed.

But the kid just shrugged and waited for House to decide.

He pondered that tidbit and said, "Okay. You can see. But you have to show us your MOST impressive scar. Not the one you got when you fell off your bike as a kid and nicked your elbow," he finished, his tone revealing how serious he was.

"It's not," Trevor answered for her. "She's got a wicked scar on her belly from when she had me."

Erika sighed, rolling her eyes. She really didn't understand why her son had to drag her into this. "Fine," she mumbled, agreeing to this crazy situation she'd found herself in just by trying to be a good neighbor and bring over a casserole. Never in a million years would she have considered doing this, if not for the fact that she had become so concerned about Trevor the last few months as he detached himself from school friends and practically had to be dragged out of the house, leery of social interactions and people's curious questions and looks.

"Who goes first?" House asked Trevor, allowing him to decide.

"Mom," he said adamantly.

Erika exhaled her protest but House smiled, turning to her. "Well?" he demanded.

"It isn't exactly like I show every new person I meet my caesarean scar," she huffed.

"Well, it's not like I show every new person I meet what remains of my thigh," he mimicked, his tone full of sarcasm.

"I feel like I'm part of some freak show," she said under her breath, amusing House greatly. And just after she said it, she looked Trevor's way in concern. "I didn't mean it like that baby," she quickly apologized.

But Trevor didn't seem to have any qualms about being identified as part of a freak show. He shrugged. "Show Greg the scar."

"Mr. House," she admonished, tilting her head down to give him a stern look and communicate she meant business.

"Just House," House overruled.

"Fine," Trevor replied melodramatically. "Show House your scar."

She rolled her eyes and dramatically let out her breath before unsnapping her pants just enough to allow her scar to be visible. Next, she tugged up her shirt a few inches, showing her scar to the two of them.

House moved closer and studied it, his expression serious, but Erika saw that his eyes were smiling and she quickly lowered her shirt to cover it back up again. "Okay, you've seen my battle scar," she drolly muttered. "Now who's next?"

House looked to Trevor who already had his finger pointed in House's direction. "You are," he informed him.

"Somehow I knew I would be," House quipped dryly. But he unzipped and yanked his pants down, doing it so quickly that Erika momentarily shut her eyes, afraid his boxers would drop as well. Slowly she opened one eye and then the other, focusing first on Trevor who had moved closer and squatted somewhat two feet from House so that he could eye the scar, before allowing her eyes to wander to her new neighbor's leg. She moved closer, unaware that she was even doing so, trying to get a better look. House sighed dramatically but made no move to reach for his pants, allowing the two of them to look at it for a minute or so.

Trevor looked up at House. "That's gross," he commentated.

House laughed, reaching for his pants at that point. "Your turn," he said as he zipped his fly.

Due to the leg braces, Trevor tended to wear pants loose in the leg. He sat down in a chair nearby and rolled each of his pant legs up, exposing the braces and the scars that ran from his ankles up to just above the knee. Erika saw them on a regular basis so rather than study them she watched the man before her to see how he would react.

"Those are wicked cool," House said to the boy as he studied them with a doctor's eye but with an expression that masked it as being thoroughly impressed.

Trevor looked up at him, wide-eyed. "Really?" he asked, clearly bewildered by House's reaction.

"Seriously," House affirmed. "You've got battle wounds that would put grown men to shame, making them weep over their weak, sissy scars."

Trevor lowered his pant legs back down, covering his legs, but both House and Erika could tell he was considering what he had said.

House straightened and glanced Erika's way, frowning when he realized her eyes were full of unshed tears. He looked at her uncomfortably, weirded out that his neighbor was in his house crying for some reason unbeknownst to him. She met his eyes and gave him a half-smile, wiping a finger under each eye to keep them from spilling out. "Thank you," she mouthed, her lip trembling.

He just shrugged, not really seeing any reason for her to thank him.

Just then a cry echoed its way through the walls and House turned, glancing in that direction before looking back at Erika and Trevor. "Give me a minute," he said quietly before he turned and limped his way back down the hall, this time without the cane. Erika stared after him, curious.

House returned a moment later with Evie up on his shoulder, gently jostling her to keep her from crying.

"You have a newborn?" Erika asked, surprised by this detail.

He just nodded, awkwardly patting Evie as she continued to fuss, hoping he wouldn't have to take his shirt off with the neighbors over in order to calm her.

"Is it a girl?" Trevor asked, having noticed her outfit was pink.

"Yep," he replied in the affirmative.

"Are you married?" Trevor interjected, looking around for the baby's mother.

"Nope," House replied.

"Where's her mom?" Trevor asked next.

House looked at the kid, thinking he asked a lot of questions for a kid who didn't have anything to say ten minutes ago. "She's not here. She's not… able to be," he finally managed to reply, glancing Erika's way as he said it.

"We should probably head home. Sounds like she's hungry," she said apologetically, realizing her neighbor was a little uncomfortable with all Trevor's questions.

But Trevor wasn't done. "Is she a soldier? Is she fighting overseas?"

House looked at him as if to ask what planet this kid just came from as an image of Cuddy in camouflage with green and brown smudges on her face popped into his head.

Erika answered his unspoken question. "Trevor's got a classmate whose mother is overseas serving in the war."

"No. She just can't be involved right now in taking care of Evie," House quickly replied, looking at Erika as if her kid was getting a little too personal and to hint that she should help him out here.

"Come on, Trevor. It's time for us to go," she immediately prompted, taking a hold of her son's arm. "We'll come back and visit House and Evie again sometime."

Trevor looked reluctant but nodded. "Thanks for showing me your scar, House," he said before turning and slowly making his way out of the room with his mother.

"No problem kid," he stated truthfully, following them to the door.

Erika opened the door and stepped outside, pausing briefly to look back at House. "It was nice to meet you," she said, smiling genuinely. "And Evie."

House nodded but didn't say anything except to reply to Trevor's goodbye with a "see ya later." Then he shut the door and turned, making his way back to the kitchen with Evie to fix a bottle for her after placing the casserole in the fridge. "Well, that was interesting," he murmured to Evie as he moved her from his shoulder to the crook of his arm to ease the bottle's nipple in her mouth. She stared at him, her lips sucking frantically at the bottle, but House thought she agreed with him, even if she wasn't disposed to verbalizing it just yet.

* * *

Cameron stopped by shortly after two p.m. and House was only too happy to oblige her when her hands went up to take the baby from him the minute she'd stepped through the door. He went into the kitchen to prepare a bottle just in case before asking Cameron if she minded watching Evie while he took a shower. Cameron took one look at him, observing the baby spit-up on his shirt, his crazy hair from the one nap he'd succeeded in getting in if only for a half hour's time, the circles under his eyes, and quickly shooed him off, promising that she'd hold the fort and get some practice in until he returned.

House came back out to the living room forty five minutes later to find Cameron cooing at the baby where she lay in her lap. Leaning against the wall he opted to be hospitable, as she had ridden in and come to his rescue. "Want something to drink?" he asked as he lightly massaged his thigh.

"No, I'm good," she replied with a frown. "But what's wrong with your leg? Is it hurting you?"

House was too tired to fight answering the question. He shrugged. "Some, but we had a rough night last night and I ended up spending a good chunk of it in that rocking chair Wilson bought her. I think I fell asleep around three with Evie in my arms and then I woke up at six when she got hungry. Had no choice but to ignore its stiffness and hobble down to the kitchen with her. Maybe I'll ask Wilson if there's a matching footstool for that thing. But my leg will be fine if I don't have a repeat of last night and can sleep in my own bed tonight."

Cameron nodded. "If you want to take a nap, I've got a few hours to kill. Chase got called in for an emergency surgery so I don't expect him to be home anytime before five."

House considered her offer but decided to decline. As tired as he was he figured it might just be better to struggle on so that eventually his body would learn to sleep when Evie slept. Too, he hadn't eaten lunch yet and as it going on three, he figured Cameron's presence might serve him better in freeing him up to cook something. "Thanks, but I think as long as you're willing to stay awhile, I'd rather take the time to eat. I'm starving."

Cameron smiled. "Takeout?" she asked, fully expecting him to opt for the easy route.

But House shook his head. "No. Right now I think I'll take advantage of you being here and actually cook something. My mom's coming Tuesday and she'll bug me less if I have homemade leftovers in the fridge when she gets here than she would if I have a bunch of half-empty cartons stowed away in the fridge."

Cameron nodded, understanding how that could be true as her mother had harassed her a couple times during visits about not doing more to make sure Chase was getting healthy, home-cooked meals. "Cook away," she encouraged before turning her attention back to the baby before her.

House pushed himself off the wall and headed into the kitchen, intending to do just that.

* * *

Cameron came into the kitchen an hour later after laying Evie down in her crib. "So, your mom's coming?" she asked him, leaning against the counter beside where he was busy stirring a pot of homemade vegetable soup.

He nodded. "Yep," he replied straight and to the point.

"Did she know before Evie was born that she was about to be a grandma?" she asked in curiosity.

"Told her this morning," House wryly acknowledged.

She laughed, looking in a couple drawers before remembering which one was the right one and pulling out a spoon.

House brought his ladle to the surface, overflowing with veggies and waited for her to take a spoonful. "Want a bowl?" he asked, one eyebrow lifted.

She hesitated a moment blowing on her spoon, but then she placed the spoon in her mouth and House didn't have to wait for her answer because he could read it in her expression. Opening a cabinet, he pulled out two bowls and ladled soup into both before placing them on the counter in front of her to carry to the table.

Cameron picked them up one at a time, retrieving another spoon from the drawer for him. "Thanks. I swear I just ate a couple hours ago but it doesn't matter because this pregnancy seems to be doing its' all to ensure I am constantly hungry."

House chuckled before turning off the stove and moving the pot to the back burner. Opening the fridge, he debated on what they'd drink, finally retrieving a pitcher of iced tea and pouring them each a glass. Once they were both seated at the table eating their soup Cameron returned to their conversation.

"What did your mom say when you told her?" she asked, clearly fishing for details.

House harrumphed but replied, "I got a half hour lecture. How dare I not tell her? How could I wait this long? Why didn't she know earlier? Basically every variation of 'When did this happen and how come I was left in the dark?' that she could come up with."

"Did you tell her about Cuddy?" Cameron asked, the question voiced much softer and more hesitantly than the previous one.

"She doesn't know anything. I managed to waylay her for the present. That's going to be my downfall on Tuesday," he grimly stated, getting up to refill his bowl once more.

Cameron watched him, her lips pursed. Finally she inquired, "What are you going to tell her? How are you going to tell her?"

"I was thinking maybe I'd have Wilson come over after work on Tuesday and let him tell her," House joked. "He's much better at breaking news in a manner that details the good and the bad, still leaving the other person feeling all warm and fuzzy inside."

Cameron laughed, shaking her head. "Good luck convincing him," she murmured before she brought the spoon back up to her mouth. "And this is really good, by the way," she added after swallowing.

House smiled, quipping, "Help yourself to more, prego."

She did.

* * *

"Aw, did you miss me?" House taunted when he opened his door with Evie and a spit rag on his shoulder to find Wilson there only an hour after Cameron had left.

He rolled his eyes. "Just thought I'd swing by and see if your kid was still alive," he quipped back as he walked past House.

"Still alive but due for a diaper change," he hinted, his eyebrows rising and falling as he shut the door and turned back to Wilson.

He raised no objection, taking the baby from him. "I was wondering which one of you that smell was emitting from," he sarcastically replied.

"Hey, words can hurt you know," House said, feigning that Wilson's statement had injured him.

"You'll survive," he dryly called back as he headed to Evie's room to change her.

"Yeah well you might not when you see the contents of that diaper," House muttered under his breath.

"Did you make this?" Wilson inquired, taking another bite of the casserole House had heated up.

"Nope. Neighbor brought it over," he replied, glancing back at Wilson where he was seated at the dining room table with Evie in his arms while House heated up the bottle. "And don't spill food on my kid. How one small baby can generate so much laundry is beyond my understanding. I'm going to have to schedule my cleaning lady to come more often if this keeps up."

"You worry about me dropping a bite of chicken on her clothes, after that explosive diaper an hour ago?" Wilson asked in disbelief. "Trust me. You have bigger problems."

House chuckled and then removed the bottle from the microwave, checking its temperature before passing it Wilson's way to dish up some food for himself.

House laughed at Wilson's expression as he tried to negotiate holding and feeding Evie along with eating, all at the same time. He left the room to grab the baby bouncer, setting it on the table to his right before reaching for his daughter. Then he placed her in it and sat down, pulling his plate closer to him before returning the bottle to Evie's mouth with his right hand. At Wilson's impressed look, he quipped, "I'm a quick study."

Returning to the earlier subject, Wilson asked, "So your neighbor really made this casserole? Did you steal it or did he or she actually intend to cook a meal for you?"

"Ha ha," House pretended to laugh. "You're so funny. She made it for me."

"So what's the neighbor like?" Wilson asked curiously in between bites.

"Hot," House replied enthusiastically. "Brown hair, long legs, nice rack."

Wilson shook his head but a smile was tugging at his mouth. "Is that all you have to say about her?"

"She's got a kid. I'd estimate him to be eight years old. Has leg braces from a car accident six months ago," House informed him, forking another bite of chicken and shoveling it in his mouth.

"Husband?" he asked.

"No clue. I dropped my pants for her though. I think she was interested," House said suggestively, his eyebrows raising and lowering.

Wilson set his fork down and rubbed his face in agitation. "Please tell me you didn't. Tell me you're joking. Tell me anything but that you've lost your mind and are giving your neighbors ammunition against you the first day they meet you. All you need is to be put on the Neighborhood Watch Program's list of people to keep an eye on."

"Guess you'll never know," House replied, a grin deeply etched into his face.

Wilson stared at him for a moment and then decided if it was true, he didn't want to know anything else. He picked his fork back up and kept eating.

* * *

House left Wilson to do the dishes as he took Evie to change her and lay her in the crib. He hoped she'd sleep for a while because he was beat. He didn't know why it was easier to place her in her crib during the day, than at night, but she was definitely more receptive to it during the daytime.

House grabbed the wet diaper and threw it in the garbage before turning the light off and shutting the door most of the way, making sure the baby monitor was on first. Then he returned to the kitchen.

"I have a dishwasher you know," he dryly informed his buddy.

"Two dishes, two cups, and a bottle won't fill it up though," Wilson replied, shrugging.

House decided he wasn't going to turn down free labor. He yawned and Wilson looked at him sympathetically. "Tired?"

"Exhausted," he replied, stretching his stiff muscles. "I think this kid maybe has her nights and days confused on top of having this skin contact issue."

Wilson finished drying the dishes and set them on the counter for House to put away later. "I should get going anyway," he said.

"Gonna stop by tomorrow?" House asked.

"Probably not. I have a patient who had to reschedule and I didn't want to push it off so it's scheduled for later in the day. The appointment isn't until 5 p.m. now," Wilson explained.

House nodded. "Wanna come over Tuesday night and break the news about Cuddy to my mom for me?" he asked hopefully as he walked him to the front door.

"Not a chance. In fact, I'm planning to steer clear of your house the first few days so your mom has some time to adjust to the news," Wilson announced, completely serious. "I'll see you and Evie next weekend."

House huffed out a breath and scowled at him as he opened the door. "Some friend you are," he muttered.

"Yep. Some friend," Wilson replied, stepping out into the night. "Good luck."

"How am I supposed to survive that long without contact with the outside world?!" House asked, almost terrified at the thought.

"You're mom doesn't count?" Wilson asked in amusement.

"She most certainly does not. Not once the whole Cuddy thing begins to unravel. In fact, come Saturday you might drive out here only to find that I'm back in Mayfield," he replied, not entirely joking.

"Well, you know, they've made this new invention," Wilson began condescendingly. "It's called a telephone."

House rolled his eyes. "Yeah, thanks! Good to know I have your support."

Wilson laughed. "Good to know you appreciate my support."

Rather than answer, House grumpily shut the door a little harder than he had to. He quickly regretted it as two seconds later Evie started to cry.

* * *

House lay in bed that night with Evie asleep on his chest, trying to push Cuddy from his thoughts. He'd been trying to think of how to break the news to his mother that he was winging this solo. He had a bad feeling that his mother's visit might be a relief in some areas and a minefield in others. He wasn't sure whether the positive would be enough to compensate for the negative. Sighing, his thoughts reverted to Cuddy, trying to puzzle out what his mother would think and how he'd handle anything she had to say.

He loved Cuddy. He had no idea why. She had put up roadblocks at every turn and frustrated him to no end. It was over. It had to be. He had a daughter who needed him now; a daughter whose mother wanted nothing to do with her and was dead set against ever being a part of her life. No, it WAS over. There was nothing for it. Cuddy would always be his hopeless dream but it was time to turn his back on the past and move forward into the future, a future he promised himself he'd do everything possible to make sure ended happily for his kid.

He turned his head to the side, his eyes staring into the darkness which was only broken by the little light from the baby monitor on the nightstand beside his bed that he just left on day and night. He thought about Georgia Eve and how he hoped one day she'd actually sleep at night in her crib, rather than just napping in there occasionally during the day. Thinking about the baby by her full name led to memories of Georgia, bringing him full-circle back to Cuddy. House couldn't help remembering the Cuddy he had loved all those years ago who had loved him right back. Once again he remembered the week of Spring Break in med school when he'd practically kidnapped her away from her studies, driving his motorcycle with her on the backseat, clutching him tightly around the waist, her cheek pressed against his back as he made his way across several states until they reached the ocean in Savannah, Georgia. He thought of how they'd walked the beach, her hand tightly holding his while he pretended to be annoyed by how her action declared to the world that they were a couple. He remembered the street music and how she'd pulled him to her, wrapping her arms around his neck and forcing him to sway with her to the romantic melody. He relived that night under the stars, Cuddy curled up against his side, her head on his upper arm as he pointed out the constellations, a piece of knowledge he'd stored away as a kid stuck on a military base with nothing better to do, but never shared with anyone other than her. Once upon a time Cuddy had whispered how she'd never forget those moments before distracting him with her lips. He pressed his eyes tightly together, trying to obstruct the memories because they were more than he could handle at the present. He finally drifted off to sleep, Cuddy's youthful exuberance and the innocent, carefree state of an early love that had now been deadened on her end for a long time, haunting his dreams.

-----

"_**Your fingertips across my skin  
The palm trees swaying in the wind  
Images  
You sang me Spanish lullabies  
The sweetest sadness in your eyes  
Clever trick  
I never want to see you unhappy  
I thought you'd want the same for me**_

_**Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
Can't you just let me be?  
So long, my luckless romance  
My back is turned on you  
Should've known you'd bring me heartache  
Almost lovers always do**_

_**We walked along a crowded street  
You took my hand and danced with me  
Images  
And when you left you kissed my lips  
You told me you would never never forget these images, no  
Oh I never want to see you unhappy  
I thought you'd want the same for me**_

_**Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
Can't you just let me be?  
So long, my luckless romance  
My back is turned on you  
Should've known you'd bring me heartache  
Almost lovers always do**_

_**I cannot go to the ocean  
I cannot drive the streets at night  
I cannot wake up in the morning  
Without you on my mind  
So you're gone and I'm haunted  
And I'll bet you are just fine  
Did I make it that easy  
To walk right in and out of my life?**_

_**Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
And can't you just let me be?  
So long, my luckless romance  
My back is turned on you  
Should've known you'd bring me heartache  
Almost lovers always do"**_

* * *

Song: "Almost Lover" (A Fine Frenzy)


	32. Nothing's Changed

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(A lot of the focus of this story will still be House for a while. Hope you don't mind hanging in there while he adjusts! Cuddy is still present and I think we'll understand her more once she opens up to someone. But that's still a little ways off.)_

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September 28th, 2010

Cuddy was standing in front of him with Evie, swaying with her from side to side. "I think we should have another baby," she suggested and House could barely make out what she said over the high-pitched wails.

House looked at her as if she was crazy. "I can't even handle the one we've got and you want another?" he asked her disbelievingly.

She smiled. "You'll change your mind. She's so easy to take care of. She hardly ever cries."

House realized the baby in her arms was sleeping and he jolted, using his arms to lever himself from the face plant he'd made into his pillow while sleeping, blinking blearily until it sank through his brain that the crying was real even if Cuddy was not, the monitor next to him communicating Evie's outrage that he hadn't gotten up and given her a bottle yet.

He rolled to the side to get up, groaning, and almost fell out of the bed. Stumbling from the room, he walked into Evie's door before regaining his depth perception and shoving it open to limp to the crib and lift the angry baby out. He figured he should just consider himself lucky that he'd been able to lay her down in her crib at 4 a.m. after her last bottle and she'd actually slept in there for a few hours.

Evie started sucking hungrily on the skin of his shoulder as she quieted down against his bare chest. House shook his head to send sleep packing, afraid he'd hurt her if he ran into something again. Then he carefully made his way to the kitchen and put together a bottle while Evie started to fuss at not getting anything from where she was attempting to latch on.

"Give me a minute, kid," he told her, trying to see her face where she was positioned. But he couldn't turn his head to the right angle to allow him to see her and so he gave up, focusing on getting the bottle warmed up. Two minutes later Evie was contentedly sucking down her bottle and House looked at the clock only to realize it was Tuesday. His mom would be making an appearance at some point. He looked at the sink full of bottles, the spilled trail of formula weaving its way across the counter, and thought then of the dirty baby clothes piling up in the baby's room. The garbage needed to be taken out too. House sighed. This was the result of not putting the baby down as often as he should have, not having wanted to listen to her crying.

Did he want to attempt to get it cleaned up before his mother showed up or wait and let her do it? Making his decision, he held the bottle in Evie's mouth with his chin and pulled the dishwasher door open with his free hand, quickly unloading it on the clean portion of the counter, putting away what he could in the places he could reach without moving his head from position.

* * *

House was reading a medical journal in the living room at 9 a.m. with Evie asleep on his chest, when the doorbell rang. Evie jerked in her sleep, startled by the noise, but only moved her head slightly, still asleep. House carefully got to his feet with the baby and then walked to the door, exhaling before he braced himself for the hours ahead and turned the doorknob to allow his mother entry.

Blythe stood there, drinking in the sight of the son she hadn't seen in some time and the granddaughter she hadn't known she had until forty-eight hours ago. She reached for her son and pulled his head down to plant a kiss on his scruffy cheek before turning her focus to the baby.

"Oh, Greg! Look at her! You better turn that baby over to her grandma right now!" she cooed, her arms reaching to take her.

House passed her to his mother without comment.

"My suitcase is in the car," she informed him. "It's unlocked."

House shook his head but went to retrieve the suitcase. When he returned he carted it upstairs to the second floor master bedroom. He wondered what all she packed for just a couple weeks. Then he returned downstairs to the living room, collapsing on the couch across from her.

She had the baby in her lap, Evie's head cupped in her palm as she studied her. Glancing up at him she commented, "You could use a shave."

House rolled his eyes. "I like being hairy."

She scrutinized him, her expression skeptical. "You'd look so much nicer if you were clean-shaven."

House just stared at her drolly. "What do you think of your grandkid?" he asked her, hoping to take her attention off him.

"She's adorable," she admitted, smiling before looking back at the baby who slept on blissfully unaware of her grandma's presence, House thought enviouslyOHou.

"She doesn't look like you did as a baby," Blythe said. "She must look like her mother."

House saw the conversation coming and tensed. "She has my eyes, though," he informed her. Then he asked, "What do you think of the house? Do you want a tour?"

"It's lovely. And so big. I was expecting another apartment. I never did understand how you could make good money and not invest in a house," she told him.

House shrugged. "I didn't need the space nor want the upkeep of a house."

"I don't see why you couldn't maintain a house. Your father and I certainly didn't raise you to be lazy," Blythe imputed.

House was just slightly annoyed but he let her commentary slide. He really did love his mother, even if she sometimes was quick to wear on his nerves. Still, he couldn't complain. She was perfect when held up against his father. Getting to his feet he said, "Here, I'll take Evie and we can walk around the house for your inspection."

Blythe released the baby to him and got to her feet to follow him. "I thought you said the baby's name was Georgia?" she asked.

"It is," he replied as they headed to the foyer to begin the tour. "But her middle name is Eve and so we've been calling her Evie."

"Nobody calls their children by their given names anymore," she tsk-tsked, sighing. "I think Georgia is a lovely name. You should call her by it."

House was thankful he was ahead of her so that she couldn't see his eyes roll. He kept his mouth shut, beginning the tour of the house on the main floor. By the time the tour was over, Evie was beginning to wake up, her face moving back and forth against his shoulder as her eyes fluttered open.

"Here," House said, passing Evie to his mom. "I'm going to get her bottle ready."

Blythe took her granddaughter and said, "Well, you are certainly right about her having your eyes."

He smiled and headed into the kitchen, pulling the formula from the cabinet. His mother had followed him and a moment later she said, "Greg! You mean to tell me she's not breastfed?"

He looked at her pointedly before reminding, "You didn't breastfeed me when I was a baby."

"Well, but that was different! Mothers didn't do that back then," she quickly defended.

He shrugged. "I turned out fine. Evie will be fine too."

"Georgia," she corrected, causing House to do a double-take, his face reflecting his disbelief that she would correct him on his own daughter's name. "And I've often thought maybe you've suffered for that decision on my part."

He laughed. "Mom, I assure you, not breastfeeding me did no lasting damage." Under his breath he added, "It was the rest of my childhood."

She pretended like she hadn't heard him. "When am I going to meet Georgia's mother?" she asked, changing the subject. "Will she be home soon? Where is she? The baby's awful young for her to leave for any period of time."

House sighed and checked the temperature of the bottle before handing it to his mom, giving her something to do. When Evie was happily going to town on it, he looked at his mother briefly before focusing on the wall right over her shoulder. "You won't be meeting Evie's mother," he said quietly. "She's not in the picture."

"What?!" she asked, aghast.

He glanced at her and then focused his attention on Evie, reaching out to rub the back of a finger on her cheek. "I said Evie's mother is not a part of our lives."

"I don't understand," she murmured.

"You don't have to, mom," he replied easily. "It's just the way things are."

"But Gregory! That's unacceptable! Georgia needs her mother! And you aren't exactly the ideal candidate for single parenthood, even if I believed in single parenthood," she declared, shooting him a disbelieving gaze.

Exasperated, House shot back, "Whether or not you believe in single parenthood doesn't change its existence, mom. And I'm managing just fine on my own." He had known she wouldn't like this. He had known when it came to raising families she believed a two-parent home was essential. He had often thought that was why she'd remained with his father, though he knew she was mostly oblivious to the man's dark side.

"So… what? Georgia's going to be raised by a nanny while you go back to work? Greg…" she began.

"The hospital I'm working at now has a daycare," he replied, trying to convey that he'd be close to his kid, should something come up.

"A daycare?! That's even worse! Greg! I'm shocked by you!" Blythe gasped out. "Illness runs rampant in those places! And children don't even get one-on-one care. You're beginning to make me think I have to move here and take care of my granddaughter."

"Mom, you are NOT moving here," he quickly informed her. "I'm fine with you visiting but I'm a grown-up and I'm living my own life! Evie and I will be fine. We've survived the last few days without problems. There's nothing for you to be concerned about."

The look on his mother's face told him this conversation was far from over but she changed tracks on him then. "The hospital you are working at now? You aren't at Princeton Plainsboro anymore?"

House shook his head. "No. In November I'll begin working at Riverside East. It's not too far from here."

"But why would you leave Princeton Plainsboro?" she inquired in bemusement. "I thought you loved working there. You had such nice friends, James and Lisa."

House looked at the baby, a pang in his chest at the mention of Cuddy's name. Pushing it aside he said, "I just was ready for a change. I've been there a long time. It was time to move on. Besides, it's not like I've ceased communications with people there. Wilson comes over all the time."

"I don't know why you insist on calling him by his last name," Blythe said then.

House was just relieved to have her on a different line of thought. It didn't last.

"But explain to me why Georgia's mother is not involved," she continued, pushing onward.

House reached for the baby as her bottle was empty, placing her on his shoulder to be burped. "That was her decision," he replied firmly. "Not my doing."

"Well clearly you must have done something, Greg! Women don't just abandon their babies for no reason!" Blythe argued.

House stared at her angrily. "Well, it looks like sometimes they do," he muttered sharply. He was rethinking this thing of not having anything to complain about regarding his mother. He knew he'd be complaining to Wilson by the end of the night.

"You must have done something, though," she went on, frowning at him.

"I got her pregnant. I guess that was enough," House testily informed her, taking the bottle from her hand to toss in the sink before limping around her to head to the baby's room and change her diaper.

Blythe watched him go fretfully and finally followed him, watching as he changed the baby's diaper, Evie staring at him the whole time.

House looked at his daughter and his frustration melted a little. He threw the diaper in the trash, put a new one on her, and squirted some hand sanitizer on his hands, rubbing it in before bringing his face down to the baby, rubbing his nose against her belly now that her diaper was secure, while being careful of what remained of her umbilical cord. She squirmed a bit and House smiled, breathing in her clean baby smell before tucking her legs back into the outfit and doing up the snaps. He knew his mother was watching him but he ignored her for the moment, needing a breather. Finally he picked the baby up and settled her on his chest before turning to walk past his mother and back to the living room, Blythe following behind.

"Has she been by at all? Has she seen Georgia since she was born?" she asked a moment later.

House shook his head. "Nope. I told you. She doesn't want anything to do with the baby. That's just the way things are."

"Who is she?" Blythe probed.

House knew his mother. He immediately recognized that she wanted to meddle, intending to seek out Evie's mother and talk some sense into her for leaving a baby with her apparently incompetent son. And where had that come from anyway?! She ALWAYS supported him. "That's not information I am going to share, Mother," he firmly stated. "You're here to see your new granddaughter, not for any other reason. You're to stay out of this."

She sighed but let the subject drop, reaching for the baby. "Can I hold her again?" she asked calmly.

House stared at her a moment and then sighed heavily before giving Evie to her. He knew the book wasn't closed on the subject but he would take what he could get.

* * *

The Day Before – September 27th, 2010

Cuddy was released from the hospital in the afternoon and drove herself home. The doctor had encouraged her to stay a couple extra days but she'd promised the nanny to be home by the 28th so that the nanny could leave for her vacation. She parked in the driveway and sat in her car for a few minutes, not ready to go in the house just yet. Finally she sighed and got out, not bothering to grab her things from the car. Letting herself in the house, she attempted a weak smile when she met the nanny's worried expression and then turned away to reach for Rachel, stroking her baby-soft hair.

"Thanks for staying with her so long, Stephanie," Cuddy said.

"No problem, Dr. Cuddy. Rachel was wonderful. We had a great time together," she assured.

"I hope you have a nice month off," Cuddy replied. "I really appreciate all you've done for Rachel and I."

"It'll be nice to get away for a while, but I'll certainly miss her," Stephanie said, squatting down to give the toddler a hug and a kiss. "She hasn't taken a nap yet but she just ate."

Cuddy walked to the door, removing the envelope with Stephanie's bonus for the additional hours. Stephanie followed her, taking the envelope when Cuddy extended it for her.

"Thanks," she said gratefully before reaching for the doorknob and twisting it to pull it open.

"Thank you," Cuddy replied automatically.

Stephanie paused and turned back to look at her, her expression one of concern and sorrow. "Are you sure you'll be alright without me? I could cancel my trip if you need me."

Cuddy shook her head. "We'll be fine," she murmured, looking away. Stephanie was looking at her with such obvious compassion that she felt guilty for lying to her. Then she reminded herself that she had no reason to feel guilty and straightened, nodding to the door. "You should probably get going. I'm sure you have a lot of packing to do."

Stephanie nodded but still looked doubtful about leaving. Finally she turned and slipped out the door. "I'll see you in a month, Dr. Cuddy. I hope you… can get some time in to relax and recover."

Cuddy didn't say anything, just nodding, waiting until Stephanie reached her car to close the door. Then she went to the couch and sank down, bringing her legs up as she lay down watching Rachel play quietly.

Rachel came over a little while later, her small hands stretching out to pat her mother's face. "Mommy sad?" she asked, making Cuddy aware of the tears streaming down her cheeks.

She reached for her daughter then, carefully pulling her up on the couch with her and scooting over so they both fit, lying side by side. She sniffed, using the back of her hand to wipe at her eyes, but she didn't reply to Rachel's question.

Rachel lay there quietly, falling asleep sometime later. Cuddy didn't move from the couch, not having the energy or the desire to get up if she didn't have to. She lay there until Rachel woke up an hour later, wondering how to pick up the pieces of her life and move on. But she didn't know how. She didn't even know if it was possible.

Cuddy got up to go to the bathroom and change Rachel's diaper, pushing herself to do what she had to do because she had to do it. There was no one else to do it for her. She briefly questioned whether she'd ever recover, whether she'd ever put herself back together again. Somehow what she had assumed she could do once her pregnancy was at an end she now doubted her capability of ever accomplishing. She prayed she was wrong, for both her and Rachel's sake.

* * *

Present Day

House stepped out of the house and into the garage as Evie napped in her swing and his mom unpacked upstairs. Retrieving his phone from his pocket, he made a mental note to call and cancel service as he'd want a new number shortly to avoid fielding calls from his team or anyone else at PPTH, before dialing Wilson's number.

"Hey House," Wilson greeted upon picking up.

"She's driving me crazy," he immediately griped, scratching his scalp with his fingers as he ran a hand over his head.

Wilson chuckled. "I don't know why. She doesn't irritate me."

"That's because she's not your mother and you haven't just ventured off into single parenthood," he muttered between clenched teeth.

"She never bugs you. You never talk about her driving you crazy. What did she have to say?" Wilson asked in curiosity.

"She's threatening to move in. Apparently my mother is convinced I'm incapable," House informed him.

"Well, you had the same doubts," he reminded him.

House rolled his eyes but made no comment, pressing his lips tightly together. Finally he sighed and mumbled, "She says I must have done something wrong to drive Evie's mother off."

Wilson's eyebrows rose and he brought a hand up to rub his forehead wearily before replying, "You didn't, House. You know that you've tried to change Cuddy's mind."

"Maybe I haven't tried hard enough," House said doubtfully.

Wilson sat up straight in his chair, not knowing where this was going but not liking it all the same. "Cuddy made her decision, House. What will it accomplish to continue trying to change it? You can't change her mind for her."

"But maybe I should try," he quietly replied.

"House," Wilson began firmly, getting to his feet to walk towards the door to his balcony, "Cuddy's got your cell phone number. If she wants to change her mind, she will call you. But you said you were going to be done with this. You have to stick to that House. You can't keep pursuing her. It's already taken enough of a toll on you. And Evie needs you now. Your daughter has to come first. As do you and your needs. You've got to let Cuddy go."

House remained silent for a moment, knowing Wilson was right but not liking it. Finally he mumbled, "Alright. I know."

Wilson looked out his office window and asked, "What did you tell your mom?"

House sighed again. "She doesn't know that Cuddy's Evie's mom. If she knew she'd be on her way over there already to get after her for abandoning her daughter. I just told her Evie's mom isn't interested in being involved and basically left it at that."

"Do you want me to come over tonight?" Wilson asked, genuinely offering to come if House needed him.

"No," House reluctantly replied after a moment, rubbing a hand over his face. "It'd probably be better if you did wait a few days. Maybe she'll calm down a little by then and accept the situation as it is, sparing you from having to come up with answers for any questions she might throw your way."

"Okay. I've got a patient coming in five minutes but feel free to call me. I can always swing by and relieve you to go get groceries or something," he suggested.

"Thanks, Wilson," House responded, a half-smile tugging at his lips. "See you later."

"Bye House," he replied, hanging up.

Wilson puffed out his cheeks and then exhaled noisily, staring out the window. He had a feeling it would be some time before House was freed from whatever hold Cuddy had on him. He grimaced, hoping Cuddy would allow House to turn a new page in his life without dragging him back down. His friend deserved a little happiness after all he'd been through recently.

* * *

House stayed out in the garage for a few more minutes, contemplating how he was going to make it through his mom's visit. She loved him, he knew that. But she still treated him like a kid with a propensity for screwing up. And maybe she was right. He had his current situation to prove her point. But he was trying here; he was working to do what it took to change the direction his life had been going in. He recognized though that he couldn't change his mother. So he determined to just deal with her as best he could. Her visit would only be for a limited time. That was a guarantee, despite what she might think to the contrary. And besides, she wasn't the only one who didn't completely believe in him. It was quite clear that Cuddy didn't and never had. Otherwise maybe she'd have given him a chance to prove himself capable of being there for her, all those months ago. Maybe she'd be here now.

-----

"_**It was a day just like this  
In a life of our times  
Shrugging signs there's no chance for us  
It's not mine to decide**_

**_You never listened to what I said  
you never thought I'd succeed, well  
And though I've given you all I can  
You show no faith in me_**

**_And I remember, and I recall  
And I can see that nothing's changed at all  
Although we falter, we don't have to fall  
And I can see that nothing's changed at all_**

**_Well even when I was young  
And the pressure was on, yeah  
You always told me to do my thing  
So what the hell went wrong?_**

**_And I remember, and I recall  
And I can see that nothing's changed at all  
Though we falter, we don't have to fall  
And I can see that nothing's changed at all_**

**_An outcast coming home, opinions stay the same  
They'll spit them out and spin me right back through the door  
The louder that we scream, the more invisible we seem  
Is it gonna last forever?_**

**_Now I'm learning the lies  
From the skies where they reign  
Can't find shelter for myself  
And you're all to blame_**

_**  
And I remember, and I recall  
And I can see that nothing's changed at all  
Yeah, though we falter, we don't have to fall  
And I can see that nothing's changed at all"**_

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Song: "Nothing's Changed" (The Calling)


	33. I'm Movin' On

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

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_(Aw man! Court time! Poor House. It's tough being a single father and trying to do right by your kid.)_

* * *

September 30th, 2010

"I'm too old for this," House told Wilson, sinking down into the couch after laying Evie down in her crib. Wilson had come over after work, taking pity on House and his situation with his mother. Blythe had run out to the store for groceries before Wilson showed up and House had been relieved to have a few moments peace, even if it meant he was completely on his own where Evie was concerned, well, with the exception of what he could talk Wilson into taking on while he hung out there.

Wilson laughed. "Are you kidding? It's only now that you are mature enough to handle this! Twenty years ago you would have been a crappy dad. Now, well, there's actually hope for Evie to survive growing up with you for a father."

House chuckled but reached behind him, grabbing a pillow and chucking it in Wilson's direction. He caught it and threw it back.

House rubbed his face tiredly. "This daddy business is a full-time job."

Wilson nodded before saying, "Yeah. I imagine it is. Is she getting better at sleeping in the crib at nights?"

House shrugged. "I've tried to get her to sleep there, especially because my mom is constantly on me, saying I'm going to spoil her if I hold her all the time. But she cries. So she ends up spending at least most of the night with me. I've gotten her to sleep for a few hours in her crib in the morning, a couple times. But it's only been a few days, right? Maybe in time."

Wilson nodded in agreement, though he was internally thankful to not be in House's shoes right now.

"So, my mom's not here," House said then, smiling mischievously.

"Why does your saying that give me the creeps?" Wilson asked in disgust.

"Because you have a dirty mind," House replied caustically, cringing himself. "Whatever you thought, don't share it with me. Geesh Wilson, I know you dig me but how many times do I have to tell you that I'm not interested? We're JUST friends!"

Wilson rolled his eyes. "Okay, your mom's not here. And?" he asked, clearly suspicious.

"If I order takeout now, we might actually get it before she walks in the door and tries to force a healthy meal down our throats," House quipped, his smile broadening.

Wilson chuckled before taunting, "Well, I can eat whatever I want when I get home, as my mommy isn't watching over my shoulder."

House gave him a grumpy look. "Come on Wilson! Buy me dinner! Take pity on me here."

He shook his head but dug in his pocket for his wallet, removing his credit card and tossing it House's way. "Alright. I'll bite. But you better tell them to rush it. Or I'm taking it and running when your mom pulls up in the driveway."

"I thought I was going to die if I didn't get something unhealthy soon," House declared in relief, reaching for the phone to place his call. "If she comes back before it gets here though, I'm taking my share and running for it as well."

"You could just tell her that you'll eat what you want," Wilson dryly suggested.

"Wilson, you haven't spent much time with my mother lately, have you?" House replied, an eyebrow quirked. "You obviously don't know her very well, even after all this time. Pick your battles, man. And with her, make sure it's worth the effort it will take to win the war."

* * *

House and Wilson were in the kitchen some time later. House hurriedly shoved the takeout bag in the trash when he heard the front door open and Wilson shot him a funny look before turning to wait for Blythe to make her entrance. She came in sniffing the air suspiciously, but then she caught sight of Wilson and forgot the smell in the air.

"James!" she exclaimed in delight. "How are you?!"

"I'm good, Blythe. How are you?" he asked, catching House rolling his eyes at his mother's enthusiasm over Wilson's presence and being humored by it.

"I'm good! I'm glad you've come by! I haven't seen you since John's funeral," Blythe pointed out.

"Yeah, it has been quite a while, hasn't it?" Wilson responded, smiling at House's irritation.

Blythe caught sight of her son's face and smiled. "You can't blame me, Greg. At least he's happy to see me."

"Well, I have no objection if you want to do a switch and exchange me for Wilson. He can be your son. Then you can go home with him tonight and leave me in peace," he teasingly quipped.

Wilson looked slightly alarmed but Blythe ignored House and his commentary, used to his sarcasm. "So how are things? What are you up to? Are you seeing someone?"

House laughed at the look on Wilson's face as he turned to lean against the counter, his arms crossed. "Yeah, Wilson. Seeing anyone? Any good-looking nurses at PPTH these days?"

Wilson shook his head. "No. I'm pretty busy with work. And with dealing with your son's antics," he added, shooting a glare at House for encouraging the invasion into his private life before turning back to Blythe.

House laughed, thinking Wilson more than deserved to have the tables turned on him. "He's still hung up on his dead girlfriend," he taunted quietly.

Wilson gave him a dirty look but House's mom hadn't heard him. "There's no one?" she asked in surprise, turning her back to her son so that she didn't have to see the faces he was most certainly making behind her.

Wilson shook his head. "But I'm good. I really am quite busy."

"Well, what about Lisa? You guys are friends, right? She's an attractive woman. Why aren't you dating her?" Blanche inquired. "Aren't you interested?"

House blanched and Wilson met his eyes in horror. "No," he quickly negated. "And we don't spend much time together anymore. She's really…busy too."

House slipped out of the room, leaving by way of the breakfast nook. Wilson watched him go, not knowing what to do, not knowing what was more important – going after his buddy or trying to cover for his sudden disappearance.

* * *

House rounded the corner and then headed for Evie's room, needing a minute to regroup. He opened the door and found her lying there awake in her crib, her head turning slightly at the sound of the door opening. He smiled, surprised that she hadn't started to cry yet. And then his expression changed to one of sadness as he headed to her before lifting her up.

She yawned sleepily, stretching in his arms before staring up at him.

"It'll be alright, kid," he murmured to her as he held her out in front of him, cradling her with his forearms. "We'll be alright."

House wasn't sure who he was reassuring more but Evie seemed okay with that. Realizing that her clothes were damp he set her down on the changing table and reached for a diaper, stripping her down. Once she was cleaned up he turned and dug out some clothes from the drawer. He smiled as he came across a t-shirt he'd bought recently. His mother was annoying him. He decided to annoy her right back. Pulling it on over her head, he slipped her arms in the sleeves as she began to protest, starting to get hungry. He completed the ensemble with a pair of pants and then lifted her up to his shoulder before grabbing her wet clothes to throw in the washer for when he did his next load, heading first to the laundry room and then back to the kitchen where Wilson and Blythe were still talking.

Wilson reached for the baby and chuckled when he saw the shirt, knowing it was House's way of subtly stating his opinion. The t-shirt read, "If You Met My Family, You'd Understand!"

Blythe noticed the shirt too and cast him an irritated look. "Honestly, Greg. Don't you have anything appropriate for her to wear?"

"I was thinking it was pretty appropriate," Wilson said under his breath, for his buddy's sake.

House shot him a smile and ignored his mother's ire, retrieving a clean bottle from the dishwasher.

* * *

The phone rang and Cuddy reluctantly answered it upon seeing it was her lawyer calling.

"This is Lisa Cuddy," she said into the phone.

"Ms. Cuddy, this is Alexander Hamilton of Burke, Hamilton, & Kent," her lawyer began. "I'm just calling to touch base about Monday. I wanted to make sure that you would be in court at 11 a.m."

"I'm not coming," she answered flatly. "You have the necessary paperwork to file and there's no reason why I should come."

There was a pause and then he cleared his throat. "Ms. Cuddy, I really feel you should be present. If you aren't, Dr. House's lawyer might file a motion to hold you in contempt."

"I'm not coming," she repeated, dismissing his argument.

"If something has come up and you are unable to be there, I can ask for it to be rescheduled," he said pointedly.

"I'm not coming," she said once more.

Alexander Hamilton opened his mouth to argue with her but then heard a dial tone. He couldn't believe his client had hung up on him. He expelled his breath in irritation and replaced his phone on the receiver, hoping she knew what she was doing in not showing up for the hearing before the judge.

* * *

October 4th, 2010

Wilson had called an attorney on House's behalf while he was busy with final preparations for his daughter's birth and in accordance with Cuddy's request, House had intentionally instructed through Wilson that the lawyer not waste any time getting him before a judge in the matter of setting up Evie's custody. He hadn't. The minute the paperwork from Cuddy's attorney arrived on his desk, he called and scheduled a court date. It was upon them before House knew it.

Cuddy had made her decision a long time ago and now the day had arrived in which she would voluntarily terminate her parental rights and grant House both physical and legal custody of Evie. His daughter was barely a week and a half old but House was in the courtroom today to be present for any deliberation that needed to take place. He figured it was kind of a formality but he knew he couldn't not attend. He was thankful that his mother was watching Evie at home completely unaware of where House was, only knowing that he had an appointment he couldn't get out of. If she knew what was about to take place, there'd be no hearing the end of it.

House was not surprised to see a lawyer representing Cuddy come in alone. He really hadn't expected she'd show up. He wasn't sure he wanted her to anyway. It just seemed easier now to not see her than to have her come and reinforce her decision with her presence. And yet underneath it all he knew he did want her there, because it would be one more opportunity to try and reason with her and make her see she didn't want this. It wasn't the custody issue that caused him to feel this way. It was the fact that in a matter of hours, Cuddy would no longer have any legal right to consider Evie her daughter too. Deep down House was worried that by allowing this legal rendering to be made he was only furthering the damage Cuddy was doing to herself, and to Evie. He didn't want that burden. He didn't want to feel like it was partly his fault that this day would cost Evie so much, would cost Cuddy. House was relieved when Wilson walked in a minute later. As stupid as he thought it was, he really didn't want to be here alone for this.

"What are you doing here?" he asked Wilson, limping over to greet him.

Wilson looked at him in confusion. "I thought we were going to ride together to this thing. I don't know why I assumed that. I just did. Then when I got to your house your mother didn't seem to have any idea where you were. She said you had an appointment or something." Wilson paused to give House a half-smile. "I'm guessing you didn't tell her?"

House shook his head. "You better not have either. I thought she'd accept Cuddy's decision at some point but she's showing no signs of doing so. For the last few days, every time I come into the same room as her it's all she can talk about. I'm about to check back into Mayfield for some peace and quiet. If she knew what was happening today there'd be no dealing with her. The woman is a menace."

"You'd call your own mother a menace?" Wilson asked, laughing.

House gave him a pointed look. "When it comes to this situation with Cuddy; yes."

"I didn't say anything," he assured then, knowing House was probably right on all counts.

The bailiff called the courthouse to order and House quickly turned to take his seat, Wilson sitting behind him in the row following the divider.

The judge came in and House rose along with the few people who were in attendance, suppressing the groan that automatically crawled up his throat when he recognized that he was all too familiar with this judge. Judge Helen Davis. Just his luck. He gave a quick look back at Wilson, registering the shock in his eyes as well before returning his solemn eyes to the judge before him. Why hadn't he bothered with asking the details of who would be presiding over the judiciary procedure? It was his own fault for not asking. The lawyer would have known. It was just that House hadn't expected this at all. In fact, he had assumed he would have a judge that centered their practice completely on family suits. Apparently that wasn't the case. Well, he'd just have to make the best of it, he decided.

"Dr. House," she said sternly as she focused her intent gaze on him once she'd entered the courtroom, having taken a seat and motioned for them to do the same. "I had really hoped I would not be seeing any more of you."

House smiled, chagrined. It really did blow that he was here to settle his daughter's custody situation now going before the same judge he'd had with the whole Tritter fiasco. He thought briefly back to that time and how Cuddy had perjured herself to save him, something she'd made it clear she regretted doing during her labor. He wondered if she was able to save herself, now that he knew he'd never be able to do it, as much as he wanted to. Dismissing the thought he joked, "Likewise."

She pursed her lips, trying to suppress the smile that was tugging valiantly at her mouth. "Well, at least you stayed out of my courtroom as long as you have. I do trust you intend to stick around today? Or will I have to hold you in contempt once again?"

"No, Your Honor," he assured her. "I've cleared my schedule just for you."

"How generous of you," she sarcastically quipped. "Good. I like to hear it. Now, let's get down to business, shall we? I've read the suit over and it appears that this is basically an open and shut case. Counselor," she said, turning to Cuddy's lawyer, "Might I ask where your client is today?"

The man got to his feet and pulled at his tie uncomfortably before saying, "I'm afraid she is unable to be here today."

"Unable or unwilling?" the judge clarified.

"Unwilling, Your Honor," the man finally admitted.

"Hmm," she only murmured.

House cleared his throat and Judge Davis looked at him, an eyebrow raised. "Dr. House, please tell me that I am not going to have to rely on you to answer for Ms. Cuddy's whereabouts?"

He grimaced uneasily, but shrugged. "Listen, I know I should keep my mouth shut and just let things happen but in Dr. Cuddy's defense, this has not been easy for her."

"Is it possible then that she might not wish to terminate her parental rights?" the judge asked in surprise.

House sighed and shook his head. "No. Cuddy's been clear on this matter from day one. She wants nothing to do with our daughter. I just…I don't want her to get in trouble for failing to make an appearance at this court proceeding because…as a doctor I can tell you that she is not in fit condition to be present for this."

Judge Davis scrutinized him, caught off guard by his words and his obvious willingness to intercede for the mother of his child. "Well, if you don't want your lawyer to file a motion to hold her in contempt for not showing up, I'll let it slide. But might I ask you to explain why she isn't in fit condition to be present?"

"The situation is unbelievably complicated," he began, raking a hand through his hair as he sighed. "When Cuddy became pregnant, she wanted to have an abortion. She only agreed to follow through with the pregnancy under the condition that I take the baby at birth and walk away. I have done that. I found another job and quit the one I had so that I could honor her wishes. I agreed to do as she asked because it was the only way to spare my kid. The pregnancy shook up Cuddy's world and all she wants is to move on, whether or not that is in her own best interest," he finished, his voice weary.

"Do you believe it's in your daughter's best interest?" she asked him, curious to know his response.

"I…I would like it if my kid could have her mother in her life. I know that it's supposed to be that way and Evie, my kid, deserves it to be that way. But…I've been there every step of this pregnancy and Cuddy is in no way able to offer Evie anything right now. She honestly wants nothing to do with her. If that was to change and she came to a point where I could trust her to be a part of my kid's life and be a positive part of her life at that, I would want that. But that's just not the way things are," House admitted, his expression somber.

"Very well. Frankly, I have no reason to deny your request for legal and physical custody of your daughter. You and Ms. Cuddy have agreed on the matter in a way that works for both of you. Who am I to argue with that? Therefore I award legal and physical custody of Georgia Eve House to Dr. Gregory House," she informed the court.

House nodded and puffed out a breath of air, relieved that it wasn't more complicated than that. He had briefly wondered if she could use her prior knowledge to determine that he was an unfit parent, but then, that case had been dismissed and only the contempt charge would be open to discussion. And yet really, as no one was contesting what type of father he'd make, in the end none of it probably mattered at all.

"Now, moving on to the termination of Ms. Cuddy's parental rights," the judge continued.

House surprised even himself a moment later by getting to his feet.

"Yes, Dr. House?" she questioned, an eyebrow raised.

He sighed, not having known ahead of time that he was going to make this request. "Your Honor, I know this is probably unusual but could I ask that we hold off on that for now?"

"I have to object," Cuddy's lawyer said then. "Ms. Cuddy has made it clear that she wants her parental rights terminated. I'm obligated to respect that decision."

The judge nodded but looked at House in a quandary. His lawyer was also looking at him, clearly at a loss as to understand what his client was doing. He had heard through some people he worked with, who had interacted with House a time or two before that his client was a difficult man to deal with. But this was an open and shut case and the Judge's decision could only be in his favor.

House remained standing and after a moment, expelled a breath. "If Cuddy decides in the future that she wants her parental rights back, how easy is it for that to happen?"

Thinking he understood his client's dilemma, House's lawyer turned to him. "I don't think you understand. Once her rights have been terminated, it's a done deal. She won't be able to take your daughter from you, Dr. House."

House shook his head. "That's not what I'm asking." Turning to the judge he inquired, "If the day comes when Cuddy wants to have her parental relationship legally restored to her, how complicated would that be? Assuming I was okay with that?"

Judge Davis stared at him a moment, her eyebrows drawn together. "Technically, once her rights have been terminated, it falls to you to determine whether or not Ms. Cuddy can be involved in any way in your daughter's life. But legally, I'm not sure that she'd be able to reverse her decision. Even if it's possible it would be a long, drawn out affair, probably more that of an adoption than a reversal of the judiciary decision. But you should ask your lawyer. He ought to know better than me."

House turned to the man beside him but his lawyer just shrugged. "I've never had that happen. I don't think I've ever had anyone try to restore their parental rights after voluntarily surrendering them. And anyway, I'm here to ensure her rights are severed, not kept intact."

House stared at him and then glanced at Wilson as if to ask where he found this guy. But Wilson just shrugged, clearly more concerned about what in the world House was trying to do here than by what the lawyer had said.

Cuddy's lawyer cleared his throat and then spoke. "Again, I'd remind the judge that this conversation is irrelevant. My client wants her rights terminated. I've spoke with her at length and there is not a doubt in her mind that this is what she wants."

"Alright Counselor, I hear what you are saying and I will take that into consideration but first I'd like to be sure Dr. House understands the proceedings of this courtroom." She turned to him, folding her hands on the counter before her. "Dr. House, you've said yourself that Ms. Cuddy wants nothing to do with your daughter. Her lawyer has reiterated that. Are you willing to move forward in the termination of her parental rights now?"

"Dr. Cuddy," he interrupted, correcting her unconsciously. He heard Wilson groan from behind him and realized what he'd said but ignored him. Could he really help it if he reflexively felt like it was his job to make sure that Cuddy was recognized and respected, despite this whole fiasco? Even he knew that was absurd, but he couldn't stop himself. After everything, he still cared for her.

"Dr. Cuddy," the judge amended, acknowledging his correction.

"I know, Your Honor. I understand. I do. But, you know, I…I honestly never thought I'd be in this position. I never thought I'd have a kid and certainly not one that I knew about, let alone raised. I…" House sighed before scrubbing at his face. "All I am asking is that we hold off until she's…I don't know, a year old, and then re-evaluate. Custody is a necessary issue to deal with. If anything happens I need to be free to make decisions for my daughter's well-being. But… while I know what Dr. Cuddy's wishes are, I'd ask you to wait. I don't want… Well, none of this is how I want it, but… I can't change Cuddy's decision to not be a part of her daughter's life. I have to respect that. At the same time, I am not sure Cuddy is right now in the correct state of mind to make this decision. And I don't want Cuddy to give up something that she might eventually change her mind about and then find irreversible. I also don't want Cuddy to come back into our lives and then have our kid grow up and one day discover that her mother legally severed her parental relationship long ago. Should she come back, I don't want coming back into the situation to be an afterthought in my kid's eyes, if that's avoidable. And I…don't want to sever my kid's relationship with her mother when Cuddy might eventually come around. I really think she's struggling with some severe depression in all this. It's only a year. If a year passes and Cuddy's desire remains the same, I won't contest it farther."

House wondered how much of this was coming from what he truly thought and how much was somehow tied to his mother's reactions this past week to Cuddy's self-removal from her daughter's life and her conviction that he was partly responsible for that decision. He had a bad feeling it was a combination of his unresolved feelings for Cuddy and his mother's protests regarding Cuddy's absence. Maybe that should have eased his mind but instead all it did was remind him of just how tied he still felt to Cuddy and how little he'd actually succeeded in moving on without her.

Judge Davis watched him for a moment after he'd fallen silent, her lips pursed as she studied him. "You love her?" she finally asked.

"How is that relevant?" Cuddy's lawyer demanded to know. "It's not what my client wants!"

House ignored him. "Yes," he softly acknowledged, though his face reflected his pain in admitting that.

She nodded. "Alright."

"Your Honor," House's lawyer pressed, ignoring his client's outburst. "You do realize that if you fail to terminate her parental rights there could be serious ramifications down the road."

Judge Davis returned her attention to House. "Dr. House, do you understand that in asking me to hold off on terminating her parental rights, you are opening yourself to the possibility of her one day not only changing her mind but possibly pushing for custody of your daughter, potentially even using whatever dirt she might have on you to evict you from your daughter's life, should her return have nothing to do with you but limited to an interest in your child alone?"

House's chest hurt just at the thought but he pushed the sudden uneasiness aside. "I understand, Your Honor, but I don't foresee Cuddy doing that. And anyway, I can't imagine there's any dirt she'd have on me that would make me a less suitable parent than someone who never wanted her child in the first place and has already sought to legally terminate the relationship." He ached just saying those words but they were true and so he acknowledged them, knowing the judge would be more prone to respect his wishes in this if he proved capable of showing that he understood this much.

"And what about my client, Your Honor?" the opposing attorney once more interrupted.

"What about Dr. Cuddy?" she inquired, staring at him in puzzlement.

"I think it's only fair that I get some reassurance for my client that Dr. House doesn't have any intention of later suing for child support or expect anything at all from my client when she herself wants nothing to do with the child involved," he continued.

House looked at the man, thoroughly baffled and then insulted by the very idea of wanting Cuddy's money. But the judge intercepted the moment before House could act on his outrage.

Clearing her throat she said, "Counselor, you yourself know we don't terminate parental rights to clear people of their financial obligations to support a child. Typically parental rights are terminated to make a child available for adoption or because a parent has shown themselves incapable of taking care of his or her child. In this case the termination is a voluntary decision on Dr. Cuddy's part, though it would classify as abandonment if Dr. House was the one requesting her rights be severed. However, if Dr. House were to want financial support, I cannot say that there's a judge out there who would not feel that was his right and…"

House interrupted. "I have no interest in demanding financial support from Cuddy. I'm only requesting we wait to give her more time to change her mind. I just don't want her to regret it later. And I'd spare my kid any suffering I could down the road."

"Fine," Cuddy's lawyer stated, clearly believing he'd done what he could to honor his client's wishes. "I would however appreciate a note in the court's documents stating that I protested the postponement of my client's termination of parental rights and yet was overruled."

She nodded, turning to the clerk who was in charge of recording the happenings in her courtroom. "Make a note that while Dr. Cuddy's lawyer is in protest, I've agreed to a waiting period of one year. At that point I will meet with Dr. House, and Dr. Cuddy if she so wishes, to reconsider this matter. But make sure it's clear that Dr. House has physical and legal custody of their daughter and that while Dr. Cuddy's parental rights have not yet been terminated, it is her wish to terminate them and for my own reassurance, that the fact that she's retaining them per Dr. House's request is more a matter of time and of honoring the father's wishes than a matter of my questioning what is in her daughter's best interests."

House wasn't sure he liked how she worded that but he wasn't about to argue further with the judge, especially when he knew she was stating her opinion in a way that would prove in his favor down the road should Cuddy ever attempt to gain full custody of their daughter, something he couldn't foresee ever happening but which he had the presence of mind to somewhat appreciate, as he knew courts often were in favor of the mother over the father these days. When the gavel banged down a minute later and they were dismissed, he exhaled, closing his eyes. At least this part was over, for the present time anyway. He nodded at his attorney and then ignored him, turning to Wilson, not all that surprised by the look of scrutiny on his best friend's face.

"You sure that's what you want?" Wilson asked him after a moment, concerned and also affected by the public acknowledgement House had made not just in trying to protect her from doing something she might regret, but also in making it clear that he did still love Cuddy.

House nodded, looking away, unable to say anything further.

Wilson expelled a breath. "I don't know what you are doing, House. I understand wanting to do what's best for Evie but I think you're also trying to protect Cuddy from the consequences of the decisions she is making. That's not your job."

House did not acknowledge him and quiet fell between them as the courtroom emptied.

Sighing, Wilson explained, "I just want to make sure you are looking out for yourself in this. I certainly don't want you to regret this. But I also wish this could just be over and done with. I don't like the fact that you might have to relive this day a year from now, potentially having it be all the more complicated by whatever might happen between now and then."

"It's not your job to protect me Wilson," House muttered finally before meeting his gaze. "Listen," he said, his expression softening. "I understand what you are saying. But you're going to have to live with my decision. I really do feel that putting this off a year is better for everyone."

"Okay. Let's get out of here then," Wilson said, knowing it was his friend's wish that he just drop it. "We'll grab some lunch on the way home. You can check in on Evie and decide whether we have time to eat at the restaurant or whether we need to just get it to go."

"Thanks for being here, Wilson," House murmured, feeling awkward about expressing appreciation in this but knowing that Wilson's support and presence had been important and something he wanted to verbally acknowledge.

"Not a problem," Wilson replied simply, squeezing his shoulder before they headed together for the door.

* * *

Cuddy's lawyer slipped out into the hallway and immediately rang his client to let her know what had been decided. He sighed, knowing that she was probably going to be frustrated by what the judge had opted to do in waiting a year before proceeding with the termination of her parental rights. He hung up when her answering machine picked up, not feeling comfortable leaving a message, despite her telling him that he should. Ms. Cuddy had asked for a voice message when she'd been under the assumption that all would go smoothly and without a hitch. That had not been the case.

He tried back several times before he finally did as she asked, leaving a message.

"Ms. Cuddy? This is Alexander Hamilton of Burke, Hamilton, & Kent. I'll be sending you some paperwork in a few days but I'm calling to let you know that the judge awarded Mr. House legal and physical custody. However, contrary to your request to terminate your parental rights, the judge has decided to hold off on proceeding with that until a year has passed, due to a request made by Mr. House to that effect. If you want to contest it, I am at your services. Otherwise you can let the year pass and then call me when you receive notice of the court date to represent your wishes at that hearing. If you have any questions, please feel free to call me." He left his phone number and then hung up. He'd have his aide take the paperwork over the following day for the client to sign.

* * *

Cuddy heard the phone ring for the fourth time in the last two hours. She knew it was her lawyer but she really didn't want to talk to him. She'd asked that he just give her a call and leave her a message, telling her that it was all over. But it would appear that he was bent on talking to her firsthand.

She refused to get up. Rachel was down for a nap. She'd been cranky and inconsolable and Cuddy just didn't have it in her to fight anymore. She'd placed her in her bed, still crying, and shut the door to her room, unable to comfort her. A half hour later, Rachel had fallen asleep.

Cuddy knew it was her fault. She knew that Rachel was just reacting to Cuddy's emotions and moodiness. But she just couldn't handle it. The only thing she could find to be thankful for in that moment was that Rachel was confined in her room with nowhere to go and would be safe there.

Cuddy heard the answering machine click on and sighed, closing her eyes. She had turned down the volume but she could hear the undertones of a man's voice and she knew it could only be her lawyer. She lay across her bed a few minutes more before getting up to go to the bathroom. She looked in the mirror afterward and she didn't recognize herself anymore. There were bags under her eyes from lack of sleep, her hair was a mess, and she looked like the living dead. She knew she needed a shower but she just didn't have the energy to take one. It had been all she could do to take a bath a few days ago and wash her hair. The laundry needed doing, the house needed cleaning, and the kitchen was a nightmare. But she didn't care. She just couldn't do it anymore. She didn't even want to.

Deciding to get this over with, she stepped into the kitchen and checked the answering machine. Sure enough, the message light was blinking. She hit the play button, adjusted the volume slightly, and then moved her hand over to the delete button, prepared to click it as soon as she heard what she needed to know.

The message began to play. After a minute, her attorney's voice filled the room. "Ms. Cuddy? This is Alexander Hamilton of Burke, Hamilton, & Kent. I'll be sending you some paperwork in a few days but I'm calling to let you know that the judge awarded Mr. House legal and physical cust…" Cuddy hit delete. She'd heard enough. Now she just had to sign the papers, pay the lawyer, and she'd be done. It would all be behind her then.

As she crawled back into bed, she wondered briefly why she didn't feel any better. She wasn't sure she felt anything at all. Cuddy buried her face in her pillow, wondering if she'd ever be free from the black cloud that had descended upon her. Especially when she didn't even care to try anymore.

* * *

House lay in bed that night, having successfully settled Evie in her crib for the first time and seeing his mother off to bed shortly thereafter. He wondered what he was supposed to be feeling right now. He was grateful in a way, because he was now legally responsible for his daughter and any medical or legal decisions that might have to be made in the future fell to him. He trusted in his own ability to make such decisions. And at the same time, it was a relief to know he had no reason to bring Cuddy into the picture if something did happen. Nor did he have to share custody with anyone. But happy? Triumphant? Feelings someone else might experience in knowing they had no obligation to share custody or consult another in the decision-making process? No. The truth was, he thought to himself, no one really won. Not him. He was basically alone in this parenting thing. Not Cuddy. She had a daughter she might never know, certainly one she was currently missing out on. And not Evie either, who would grow up without the ever present mommy most kids had. But at least they could move on from here. He could put the past behind him. And that was what he wanted to do, he thought anyway. Obviously it was what he needed to do. Even if Cuddy's parental rights hadn't been terminated and he had done his self-appointed duty there, he now felt like he was free. Certainly more free than he'd felt in a long time. It was time to move forward, leaving the past behind and leaving Cuddy behind with it. He had done his part. He couldn't expect anything more from himself than that. He'd moved into a new house, left PPTH behind, walked away from Cuddy as requested, now had a baby to concentrate on, and would start a new job in another month. The path had diverged and he'd taken a new route, preparing himself for a future that would contrast heavily if held up against his past. House turned on his side, checking one last time to make sure the baby monitor beside his bed was on and the volume high enough to awake him, should Evie need him before her next bottle was due. As he closed his eyes, settling his head deeper into the pillow, his last thought before sleep overcame him was the commitment he made to himself that he was actually moving on, something he had never really expected he could do, as phobic of change as he was. But he had done it in leaving PPTH and in moving here. And he was going to do it again where Cuddy was concerned. He swore he was. It just might take some time. And things would get better from here on out; that he promised himself. He'd swear to it for Evie's sake as well.

-----

"_**I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons  
Finally content with a past I regret  
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness  
For once I'm at peace with myself  
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long  
I'm movin' on**_

**_I've lived in this place and I know all the faces  
Each one is different but they're always the same  
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it  
They'll never allow me to change  
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong  
I'm movin' on_**

**_I'm movin' on  
And at last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me  
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone  
There comes a time in everyone's life  
When all you can see are the years passing by  
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone_**

**_I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't  
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town  
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't  
I had to lose everything to find out  
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road  
I'm movin' on_**

**_I'm movin' on  
I'm movin' on"_**

* * *

Song: "I'm Movin' On" (Rascal Flatts)


	34. What Would You Have Me Do?

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Oh boy! What to do with Blythe?! :) Anybody know where all my reviews went? Not that I'm begging or anything...)_

* * *

October 7th, 2010

"Greg, honey, you really need to use stain-stick on Georgia's clothes," Blythe said as she stood in the laundry room washing clothes.

House looked at her but didn't say anything.

"I'm serious," she admonished. "You'll save yourself money. Otherwise as she gets older and moves into eating baby food, you'll never get these stains out and you'll have to throw clothes away."

"Mom…" House began.

The doorbell rang and House shook his head before adjusting Evie on his shoulder as he turned and walked away to answer it, surprised to open it and find Trevor standing there. "Hey kid," he greeted him, motioning for him to come in if he wanted.

"Mom said I could invite you to come over and see my racecar collection," he said, his eyes full of hopeful enthusiasm.

House raised an eyebrow but then smiled in amusement. The kid apparently liked House now. He thought a moment and finally decided it was at least an excuse to get away from his mother for a while. "Give me a minute," he said, leaving the door open and Trevor standing there to step into the kitchen. "Mom," he yelled in the direction of the laundry room, "I'm heading next door for a while. Evie's coming with me. We'll be back."

"Okay," she called back. "I'm going to start dinner after I get the laundry done."

House smiled, thinking at least she was useful, even if she drove him crazy by constantly bringing Evie's lack of a mother and his own seeming inability to be a single parent up. Glancing at the kitchen counter where his phone lay, he thought briefly about grabbing it but decided not to. He'd be back soon enough. Turning, he returned to the foyer and nodded to Trevor. "Lead the way, kid."

Trevor excitedly stepped out the door and House limped after him, closing the door behind them. He was glad the weather was still nice and he didn't have to worry about wrapping Evie up or wearing a coat yet. Erika was sitting on her front porch and she smiled at House as he followed Trevor up the walk.

"He said he'd come see it," the boy excitedly informed her of the obvious.

She laughed and got to her feet to open the door in. "Come on in," she said invitingly.

House did, Trevor at his side.

"Can I hold her?" Erika asked expectedly. "It's been a long time since Trevor was that small. I miss that baby stage."

House shrugged and handed Evie over willingly enough. "Just watch out. She had a bottle just ten minutes ago and might spew on you."

"I think I can handle that," she assured him, smiling as she turned her attention to the tiny baby in her arms.

"My room's upstairs!" Trevor excitedly pointed out, moving to the staircase before he sobered in concentration as he worked to climb the stairs.

House watched him for a moment before turning to Erika.

"It's a typical colonial," she explained. "The bedrooms are upstairs. I considered moving but Trevor's never lived anywhere else and I didn't think he'd handle that change well on top of everything else. Between his father's death and the car accident, there's been a lot to adjust to already," she acknowledged. "The doctor also said it would be good for him to have to climb stairs. He camped out in the living room the first few months but then we moved him back upstairs once the doctor okay'd the exercise."

"When did his dad die?" House asked quietly, not wanting to distract Trevor from the climb.

"Almost two years ago now," Erika murmured. "Ben went to take a shower after his workout and he collapsed in there. When I found him a half hour later, he was gone. He was in great shape but in the autopsy the coroner discovered he had a heart condition we'd never known about. It basically gave out on him. They said he was probably a ticking time bomb. It had only been a matter of time."

"I'm sorry," House said somberly, meaning it.

"Thank you," she said softly, her eyes on Evie as she stroked the baby's hair. "It's been hard but we've been really blessed. Ben was always very careful about money and he took out a life insurance policy when we got married that paid off the house after he died while still leaving Trevor a sizable sum for when he grows up."

"Are you coming?" Trevor called down the stairway, oblivious to the conversation between the two adults.

House looked up at him and smiled. "Yep," he replied, starting up the staircase.

Erika followed behind him. 'He really likes you, I think," she murmured.

House laughed. "I have no idea why," he replied, noticing that Trevor had disappeared.

She chuckled but shook her head. "After his dad died, Trevor became a different kid. He was quiet and I had a hard time getting him to leave my side. I think he was scared I was going to leave him too. He had just started to spend more time with friends when the accident happened. He was on his way to soccer with a friend and his mom when another driver ran a red light and smashed into them. His friend and his mom were fine but Trevor was on the side where the car hit and his legs were crushed in the accident. It took multiple surgeries for them to repair the broken bones in his legs. They weren't even sure amputation was avoidable. But somehow it worked out. The hard part was that Trevor loved sports. His dad used to play soccer and football with him out in the yard before he died. I think Trevor walked away from sports that first year because of how it reminded him of his dad. He had just regained his interest in sports when the accident happened and we found out he'd never be able to participate in them again."

House nodded, pausing at the top of the staircase. "I know how that is," he admitted. "I played lacrosse in med school and I used to run all the time. When I had the infarction, I… well, it wasn't easy. I tried an experimental treatment a few years ago and for awhile it worked, killing the pain and allowing me to run again. But then it stopped working. Now the pain's manageable but… no more running for me. "

Erika nodded understandingly. "Trevor's lost his self-worth somehow. He stopped wanting to spend time with friends and his grades have taken a hit. He's been begging me to homeschool him but I'm just not sure that's the answer. I want him to overcome this, not run away."

"Are you coming?" Trevor called impatiently from his room down the hall.

"Sometimes running away seems easier though," House mumbled to Erika before heading in the direction of Trevor's voice.

She stared after him, wondering just how much he and Trevor might have in common. If she didn't know better, from the sounds of it her neighbor had done his own share of running away.

* * *

Blythe started the load in the washer and then headed for the kitchen. As she walked in the room, the home phone started to ring. She reached for it and read James Wilson on the Caller ID. Hitting the talk button, she said, "Hey James! Greg is next door but I can take a message for him."

"Hey Blythe," Wilson greeted. "I was just calling to check in. You can let him know I called."

"Okay," she replied. "I'll do that."

"How are you?" he asked politely.

"Good. I'm just about to start dinner," she admitted. "Would you like to join us tonight?"

"Oh, thanks for the offer but I have a presentation to make next week and I really need to work on it tonight while I have a moment," Wilson replied, smiling as he wondered if House was not really out somewhere eating pizza or junk food while he could.

"Alright, well I'll let you go then," Blythe said, using her free hand to pull a pot out of the cabinet.

"Alright. See you, Blythe," Wilson responded before hanging up.

Blythe set the phone down after saying goodbye and set the pot in the sink, filling it with water. As she stood there waiting for it to fill partway, she thought about the fact that while she'd seen James, she hadn't seen Lisa since coming into town. Greg had mentioned some time back that she had a little girl of her own that she'd adopted. She wondered if she'd get to see Lisa while in town. Making a decision, she shut off the water and moved the pot to the stove before turning the burner on and heading upstairs to grab her cell phone from her purse.

Once she returned to the kitchen she went through her contacts, looking for the number to PPTH. Maybe she'd leave her a message and see if she was interested in going out for lunch or coming over for dinner one of these days. Dialing the number, she waited as the phone rang.

"Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital," the secretary answered. "How may I direct your call?"

"Yes," Blythe began. "I'm trying to reach Lisa Cuddy."

"She's on maternity leave at the moment," the secretary replied. "Would you like her voicemail?"

Blythe stared at the wall before her without seeing it. All of a sudden, everything clicked. She hadn't been mistaken in thinking Georgia looked vaguely familiar to her. In fact, she probably should have made the connection except that she'd never have imagined this possibility. Greg hadn't told her Georgia's mother's name because she already knew her and would never have been able to accept this revelation.

"Hello?" the secretary asked doubtfully, wondering if the caller had hung up.

"Oh, uh… no. That's alright. Thank you though," Blythe mumbled, feeling extremely sick to her stomach.

"No problem, ma'am," the secretary replied, hanging up a moment later.

Blythe stood there with the phone to her ear in disbelief until the dial tone and then she slowly lowered the phone to the cradle. She didn't understand. Yes, she had suspected on occasion that her son was interested in Lisa as more than friends, but she had never seen any signs of him acting on that. When she'd asked James the other night why he didn't date Lisa, his reaction had been a little off but she hadn't caught on. She should have. It explained why Greg had left the room moments later.

She stood there, not knowing what to do. And then she spotted Greg's cell phone on the counter and couldn't help herself. Her son needed her to intercede for him, even if he didn't know it and wouldn't be able to appreciate it right now. Grabbing the phone, she went to the menu and pulled up his contacts, searching through it for the number she needed. But there was no listing for Lisa Cuddy. And then it occurred to her that he didn't call Lisa by her first name either. Going back to the C's, she scrolled through until she found Cuddy. Then she opened the contact listing to check the phone numbers there. Clicking on the number to her home phone, she hit the talk button and waited as it began to ring.

* * *

House stepped in Trevor's room and whistled. "Cool room," he told the kid, limping around to look at the pictures of Trevor at the racetrack, what must have been a few years ago with a man House assumed was his dad.

"That's Ben," Erika told him, smiling tenderly at the picture.

House glanced her way and read the longing in her eyes before turning back to stare at the picture. He was a good-looking guy, blonde and muscular. Turning to Trevor, he focused his attention on the slew of racecars the boy had taken out from the closet before looking at the racecars lining the shelves that went around the upper walls of his room. "Impressive collection, kid," he muttered.

"Thanks!" Trevor replied, quite pleased with House's reaction.

Evie started to whimper and House turned back to Erika to take her. She immediately quieted and House smiled, shaking his head in amusement.

"She knows you," Erika said then.

"She should," House drolly acknowledged. "I've spent three-fourths of my time holding her since her birth. And half of that was shirtless," he added. "The kid's practically attached to my studly body."

Erika laughed but didn't comment.

"You like monster trucks?" he asked Trevor, turning back to him.

* * *

Cuddy lay on her bed, the ringing phone in hand. She saw House's cell phone number pop up and froze, panicked just at the thought of answering it. Instead she let it ring, anxiously waiting for it to stop, her body rigid. Rachel was playing with her toys next to Cuddy but she forgot all about her daughter's presence as she put the phone under the pillow to muffle it so she wouldn't have to hear it continue to ring.

When the answering machine clicked on down the hall, she pushed off the bed and hurried down the hallway, needing to unplug it or turn the volume down so that she wouldn't hear his voice. She couldn't handle hearing his voice. She just couldn't. It was over. This was supposed to be over. She needed him to go away and leave her alone.

But the answering machine clicked on before she could reach it and she came to a halt, holding her breath as she hoped with all that was in her that he'd just hang up. But it wasn't House's voice that came over her answering machine, filling the room.

For a moment she couldn't place the voice. And then the woman identified herself and Cuddy leaned against the nearest wall, sinking to the floor.

"Lisa, this is Greg's mother, Blythe! Are you home?! Could you pick up?! I really need to talk to you!" There was silence for a moment and then the dial tone. Cuddy sat there for two minutes, terrified, only to have her cell phone go off in her bedroom. It was House's ring.

She covered her ears to try and block it out, unable to handle it. When the phone fell silent, she ran back to her bedroom to find her cell phone and shut it off. Just when she'd done that, her house phone rang again. Cuddy felt like she was going to break down any second. Just as before, Blythe's voice came over the answering machine and she heard her say, "Lisa, you can't just leave Greg to raise your daughter alone! Honestly! What in the world are you thinking?! You know he's not equipped to be a single parent! And your daughter needs you! Would you pick up?! You're her mother for goodness sake! How can you abandon her like this?! This is unacceptable! Answer the phone!" A moment later the answering machine clicked off and Cuddy ran to the other room to unplug the home phone from the wall, tears streaming down her face. Would this never end?! Couldn't House just leave her in peace?!

* * *

House headed home a half hour later after saying goodbye to Erika and Trevor. He smiled as he walked back to his house, finding himself somewhat fond of the kid next door. Entering the house, he headed for Evie's room to change her diaper before laying her down in her crib, since she'd fallen asleep over at the neighbor's house. Closing the door to her room, he headed to the kitchen, opening the fridge to grab a pop out before turning to his mother.

She didn't say anything and he stared at her a moment, realizing something was going on. He wondered if he wanted to know what it was.

"James called," she said softly then, still not turning to face him.

"What did he say?" House inquired in concern.

"He just wanted to check in. He said you could give him a call," she replied easily.

House contemplated her for a minute but then turned and stepped over to grab his cell phone. Hitting the speed-dial number for Wilson, he waited as the phone rang. "What's up?" he asked when Wilson answered as he headed out of the kitchen and into the living room, sinking down on the couch.

"Not much," Wilson replied, shrugging. "Just thought I'd see how you were. Your mom said you went over to the neighbor's house."

House smiled. "Yeah. The kid asked me to come over and see his racecar collection. I think the kid wants to compete with you for best friend status."

"Who thought the day would come when I'd have to compete with an eight year old for your friendship," Wilson quipped as he laughed. "Should I be threatened?"

"Well, you might want to up your game. The kid has quite a collection and he told me I can come over and play with his toys anytime I want," House replied somberly.

"Well, unless his allowance is big enough to pay for your lunches, I don't think I'm too worried about it. He's too young to babysit Evie," Wilson added.

"Hey, did you say something to my mother?" House interrupted then, his voice sober now.

"No," Wilson assured him. "Why?"

"I don't know. She's just acting funny," House replied.

"No, I didn't say anything at all. She invited me for dinner and I told her I couldn't tonight. But she seemed fine to me," Wilson told him.

House's phone started to vibrate in his hand and he moved it away to look at the number. It was Cuddy's. He stared at it, immobilized.

"House? You still there?" Wilson asked.

"Wilson I gotta go," he mumbled. "Cuddy's calling."

"Cuddy?!" Wilson asked in disbelief.

"I'll call you later," House replied quickly, gulping air down before hitting the button to connect the call.

He waited a moment, not knowing what to say, not knowing why she would call him. "Cuddy?" he finally asked, his voice cracking.

"Make her stop calling me," he heard her whisper into the phone.

"Who?" he asked, his eyes closing as he realized exactly who had been in touch with her.

"Your mom," she whispered brokenly. "Tell her to stop calling me. If you can't handle being a parent, that's not my problem."

And with that she hung up and House sat there on the couch, shaken. Every second that passed, his emotions swirled within him like a hurricane brewing. Finally anger encompassed everything else and he shoved off the couch and headed for the kitchen. But instead of entering the dining room to head in that direction, he went to the stairs and climbed them quickly. Grabbing his mother's suitcase, he went around the room like a mad man, his thigh aching at his rapid movements, shoving everything she possessed inside the suitcase until there was nothing left belonging to her in the room. Grabbing it forcefully, he carried it out of the room and to the staircase, banging it down the stairs.

"What's going on?" Blythe called out fearfully as she left the kitchen and headed to the foyer. "Greg?"

House reached the bottom of the staircase right as she entered the foyer. He clenched his jaw and stepped around her, the rage too close to the surface. Yanking the front door open, he stormed outside and dropped her suitcase next to her car.

Blythe followed him out, her eyes wide. "Greg, what are you doing?" she asked softly.

"I love you, but you've outstayed your welcome, Mother," he managed to say in a controlled tone. "It's time for you to leave."

"But Greg…" she began, looking at him guiltily. "What happened? What's wrong?"

"Mother, I told you it was none of your business who Evie's mother was. I told you to let it go and not get involved! I invited you to come and spend time with your granddaughter. Not to interfere in my life. I know you love me but seriously, this is where I draw the line. This time you've gone too far. And now you're leaving," House finished, his eyes flashing fire.

She reached for him but he took a step away. "Greg," she cajoled, "You don't mean that. You need me. You need help. This is too much for you to do alone."

That only made him angrier. He turned to storm back into the house, intending to walk away and lock her out. At the last moment he about faced and demanded, "Tell me just what right you had to call her?! I told you she doesn't want to be involved! Do you think I don't want her to be?! Cuddy's made her decision! I'm doing my best to respect that! You had no right, Mother. No right at all."

"Greg, please," Blythe pleaded. "Georgia needs a mother! Someone has to reason with Lisa! And I didn't even talk to her," she continued, as if that made it any better. "I just left her a couple messages on her answering machine."

"How did you even find out?!" he groaned, his teeth grinding together.

"I…" she began meekly, now that she was confronted with how angry he was with her. "I called the hospital, thinking I'd invite her over for dinner since I hadn't seen her yet. The secretary said she was on maternity leave. I just… it all made sense to me then. With the exception of your eyes, Georgia looks just like her mother."

"How did you get her number?!" he pressed, knowing PPTH wouldn't hand out such personal information and Cuddy was not listed in the phonebook.

She looked away but then met his eyes helplessly. "You left your cell phone at the house. I saw it on the counter and decided to check for her number. I thought… I hoped I could talk with her and make her see reason in this."

"By telling her that I'm incompetent?!" he asked, laughing humorlessly, his laugh unnatural and stilted. "Yeah, I'm sure that went over well. I'm sure she'll pull up any second, ready to come back and be a mother to the kid she's abandoned! And I'm sure she's really impressed with my parenting skills when my own mother questions my ability to take care of my kid! I am a hundred times better at fathering this baby than the man you allowed to call himself my dad!"

"Honey," she began soothingly, frightened by his reaction to what she'd done.

"Mom," House stated resignedly. "Get in your car and drive home. Right now, I am this close to snapping. Trust me when I say that if you ever want to see your grandkid again, the best thing you can do right now is drive home and give me time to calm down. I swear I will call you. But I need a few days."

She nodded mutely, staring at him. Finally she mumbled, "My purse is on the kitchen counter."

House turned without another word and went back into the house to grab her purse from the kitchen, pausing only briefly to turn the stove off; the smell of something burning filling the kitchen. Heading back outside, he extended his arm to hold the purse out in front of him as he wordlessly waited for her to take it.

She did so reluctantly, her expression pained. Blythe went to hug him but he stepped back out of her reach. "Just go," he muttered. "A hug isn't going to fix this."

Blythe nodded and shakily dug her keys out of her purse, turning and hitting the key fob to unlock the car before climbing in. House crossed his arms and mutely stood there, watching her pull out of the driveway and fade from his view a moment later. Then his arms dropped to his side and he paced in a circle, his head down, a hand rubbing at his forehead in frustration.

* * *

Erika stood at the window with Trevor, watching her neighbor with an older woman she could only assume to be his mother. Trevor had mentioned earlier that he thought Evie's grandma was in town, as House had gone to tell someone he would be next door before he and Evie had come over with Trevor and he'd thought he'd heard him call her mom. They'd heard raised voices and went to the window to see what was going on outside and then she'd been unable to turn away, though she had known it was none of her business.

When the woman pulled out of his driveway and drove away, her attention focused on House and how his head dropped forward as if he was deeply wounded by whatever had just taken place. After a moment she realized she had a pizza in the oven to check on. "Come on Trevor," she murmured. "Pizza's probably done."

* * *

House entered the house and heard Evie crying. She was probably hungry, he acknowledged. Going to her room he took a few deep breaths before stepping inside and lifting her out of the crib. "Come on kid," he mumbled softly. "You're hungry, I know."

As he fed Evie her bottle, he shook his head, sighing. As much as he wanted to, it was hard to stay mad at his mother. Never in his life had he ever been that angry with her before. Sure, he'd been frustrated with her often enough, but genuinely angry? House grimaced, feeling slightly bad for throwing his own mother out of his house, though he wouldn't have done anything differently if he could turn back time, except maybe grab his phone before his mother could find Cuddy's number.

He thought of his mother and what she'd done. She deserved his irritation. And yet, hadn't she been supportive of him all his life? Hadn't she been the parent who always made him feel loved and cared for, if not a bit smothered in the process? So she had her views on proper family makeup and for the first time really took issue with what was happening in his life. Could he blame her? Not as much as he'd like to.

He knew the real reason why he was so upset had more to do with Cuddy's call. He was such a fool. But hope springs eternal, apparently, even if it made him an idiot. In the moment before she'd spoken, House knew something inside him had been hoping she had changed her mind. Then reality crashed in on him and once again he was reminded that nothing in the world could change Cuddy's decision now. And what was worse, his mother had sucker-punched him in his weakness by telling Cuddy that Evie needed her, which wouldn't matter at all if it hadn't given Cuddy the impression that House wasn't up to the task. This was most definitely a pride thing. Cuddy thought so little of him as it was. The fact that she now had reason to think even less of him cut deep. He sighed and closed his eyes for a minute. Then he reached for his cell phone, calling his mother's house rather than her cell phone because he still wasn't ready to speak with her.

"Mom, it's me. Listen," he began, sighing. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. And the kicking you out thing. I know you're just trying to… do what mothers do, I guess. But when it comes to Cuddy, you need to just leave her alone. For me. And for her. It's over. What's done is done. She's not a part of our lives and she never will be. I'll talk to you later. Bye." He hung up and then set the phone down only to have it ring a second later.

He picked it up in confusion and then rolled his eyes, not surprised to see Wilson's number flash on the screen. Of course Wilson would be waiting for him to call back with a report.

"Hey," House muttered into the phone.

"What did she want?" Wilson asked in apparent irritation, getting right to the point.

"She was calling to ask me to make my mom back off," House said flatly, holding the phone to his shoulder to free his hand to take the bottle from Evie's mouth and set it in the sink before moving her to his shoulder to burp her.

"What?!" Wilson asked in horror.

"Apparently my mom figured things out and called Cuddy to get after her for abandoning George," he dryly replied.

"Your mom _called_ Cuddy?!" he repeated in disbelief.

"Didn't I just say that?" House sarcastically inquired.

There was silence for a moment and then Wilson sighed. "Did you tell her you would?"

"She hung up after telling me it wasn't her problem if I couldn't handle parenthood. I didn't get a chance," he huffed.

"Is your mom still alive or do I have to come over and help you bury the body?" Wilson asked seriously, his car keys jingling from the other end of the phone.

A smile tugged on House's lips then. "She's alive but just barely. And most likely an hour into her drive home."

"You kicked her out?" Wilson asked, somewhat surprised but also slightly mollified on his friend's behalf.

"I was pissed off, Wilson," House stated sharply.

"I know. I get that," he quickly reassured, not blaming House in the slightest. He was pretty sure that if House hadn't, he'd come over and do it for him.

House sighed. "Besides, if I hadn't sent her packing she'd have taken that as permission to meddle farther. I can't risk her trying to contact Cuddy again."

"Was Cuddy angry?" Wilson queried, frowning.

"She just sounded upset," he replied dismissively, not wanting to talk about it. "Listen, I'll talk to you later. I just need to cool down a while."

"Want me to come over?" Wilson asked.

"No. But thanks. I'll be fine," he mumbled.

Wilson sighed in sympathy. "Alright. Night, House."

"Night, Wilson," he responded, hitting the end button on his phone before setting it aside.

House looked down to note that Evie had drifted off to sleep once more. He carried her into her room and placed her in her swing, setting it in motion. Then he returned to the kitchen to sample his mother's slightly charred cooking. Wrinkling his nose in distaste, he dumped what he could into the garbage and filled the pot with hot water to let it soak. Reaching for his phone he dialed the number of the Chinese restaurant, placing his order a few minutes later.

* * *

Erika waited for the babysitter to show up after checking to make sure Trevor was working on homework. She still wasn't sure this was a good idea but she thought she might as well check and see if she could do something for House. He'd made quite an impression on both her and Trevor and she thought she might as well try to return the favor somehow. Maybe he just needed a few hours distraction. That was something she was prepared to offer him. She'd needed a distraction a time or two, herself.

* * *

House heard a knock on his front door and seriously hoped it wasn't his mother coming back to try and talk to him. He stuck what remained of his leftovers in the fridge before heading through the dining room, opening his door a few seconds later to find Erika standing there. He looked at her in confusion before asking, "Everything okay?"

She nodded but waved the movie "The Hunt for Red October" in front of him. "I needed a break and so I called a babysitter to stay with Trevor. I wondered if you'd be interested in watching a movie with me."

House looked at her skeptically and then astutely muttered, "You saw me toss my mother out on her ear, didn't you?"

She shrugged noncommittally. "I just needed some time with another adult and thought maybe I could talk my new neighbor who is trapped at home 24/7 with a new baby into indulging me with some adult conversation."

"I'm not good at adult conversation," he casually tossed out.

"Then we can just chill in front of a movie," she pointed out, rattling the DVD case enticingly in front of him.

A smile tugged at his lips and he opened the door wider so that she could come in. "You're good," he admitted as she walked past him and into the foyer.

She smiled and turned back to him. "I know," she agreed cockily.

Erika followed him into the living room and after handing him the movie, curiously asked, "Why did you kick your mother to the curb?"

House shot her a look and asked, "Are you going to turn into one of those nosy neighbors no one wants?"

She smiled wider but bit her lip before shaking her head. "I'll just shut up then."

He laughed and turned to hit the power button on the DVD player before hitting the button to open the tray, placing the DVD within a moment later.

Erika remained silent as House turned back to her, glancing at her before motioning her to get comfortable on the couch. "Want a Coke?" he asked.

"Sure," she said, nodding.

House went into the kitchen and returned a minute later with two Cokes in his hands, passing her one before sinking into the seat next to her.

The copyright warnings were playing on the screen and Erika popped the tab of her Coke before asking, "Evie sleeping?"

House nodded but said, "She'll be awake before long though. It's almost time for her bottle."

They watched the previews for movies that had been released years ago, neither bothering to grab the remote from where it lay between them to fast-forward. Just as the menu popped up, Evie started to cry and House got to his feet.

"Can I see her room?" Erika asked hopefully.

He looked back at her in surprise but shrugged. "Sure."

She pushed herself upright and followed him, watching as he unbuckled the baby from where she lay in a baby swing to lay her down on the changing table a moment later. "It's a cute room," she murmured.

"It's not supposed to be cute," House griped.

She laughed and then somberly said, "Oh, well then… it's very… 'manish' for a girl."

House shook his head but his mouth quirked up at one end. "Me thinks the lady doth mocketh me," he said to Evie, who was staring up at him, yawning sleepily.

Erika stepped alongside him, slipping her index finger in the baby's hand and smiling when she griped it firmly. "Her umbilical cord has fallen off, I see."

House nodded. "Just this morning," he replied as he turned to pull some pajamas from a drawer and put them on her.

"She's a beautiful baby," Erika said then, her fingers stroking Evie's soft, straight hair.

"The eyes are mine but she looks like her mother," he acknowledged.

"She must be a beautiful woman," she replied softly, her attention not wavering from the infant.

House glanced at her, his lips pursed. "Yes," he finally mumbled, his attention switching back to Evie as he picked his daughter up. "She is."

Erika followed him out of the room, hitting the light switch as she passed it. He turned in the hallway beyond and passed the baby to her. "I'm going to get her bottle ready. Then we should be good to go."

She nodded and carried the baby back to the living room, settling on the couch and pulling her feet up to cross in front of her before arranging a pillow in her lap to lay Evie on. She cooed at the baby, admiring her cheeks, still rosy from sleep.

House came in and handed her the bottle without comment, taking his seat next to her before tossing the bag of potato chips on the coffee table in front of them and reaching for the remote, pressing play. The movie started and Erika divided her attention between the baby and what was happening on the screen. Once the bottle was empty, she lifted the baby to her shoulder and patted her back, chuckling when Evie burped and House murmured, "That's my kid!"

They snacked and watched the movie together for about twenty minutes before Evie started to fuss.

House sighed and Erika looked at him, smiling when he rolled his eyes.

"She's got a clean diaper, she had her bottle, and she's been burped. What's she complaining about?" Erika asked in amusement, recognizing that her new neighbor already knew what she wanted.

"That's her needy cry," House informed her seriously.

She studied him questioningly. "Her needy cry?" she echoed dryly, an eyebrow raised.

"Seriously," he replied, nodding.

"And what does that mean?" Erika asked next.

"Hand her over," he said then, reaching for the baby. "She wants some father/daughter bonding time."

She passed her to him without comment and watched as he settled Evie on his chest. She smiled and returned her attention to the screen but when the baby continued to fuss and House sighed dramatically, Erika looked back at him, laughing. "I take it you were wrong?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Nope, but it looks like you're about to see me half-naked," he told her, almost but not quite apologetically.

"I think I've been there, done that," she quipped, referring to the day they'd met.

House chuckled but handed the baby to her. "The kid wants some chest time."

"Chest time?" Erika inquired skeptically, not so sure he wasn't trying to put the moves on her.

"I'm not joking," he replied somberly, though he smiled at her misgivings.

She pursed her lips but waited for him to remove his shirt. However, instead of tugging his shirt off, he paused and turned his attention to Erika. "You know, I think I might be coming down with something," he said smoothly before dramatically coughing twice. The suggestive look in his eyes counteracted his words, however. "Maybe you could take off your shirt and she could get some chest time with you. I mean, one chest is as good as another," he added playfully, shrugging.

Erika scoffed loudly. "Keep dreaming," she shot back at him, knowing he was just testing her.

He laughed but then reached for the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head in one motion before reaching for the still fussy baby and settling her against his skin.

Erika had turned her attention back to the screen before his shirt hit the floor. But now she glanced out of the corner of her eye at the baby who had immediately stopped complaining, burrowing into House's chest.

House smiled and she bit back a smile of her own as he declared, "Quit ogling me."

"Yeah, because you're all that and a bag of chips," she murmured sarcastically, realizing that neither one of them had been paying much attention to the movie since Evie started fussing. She grabbed the remote and hit the button to skip back a scene before setting it back down on the couch.

"Check out my guns," House said, and she turned to look at him, an eyebrow raised, while he flexed his biceps for her.

"You better spend a few more hours a week in the gym," she deadpanned, not impressed.

House laughed. "Well, I was flipping today through the pages of my employee manual for the new job I start next month and I discovered that there's a complimentary gym membership included among my benefits," he admitted.

She shook her head, realizing for the first time that she didn't even have a clue what he did for a living. "What do you even do?!" she asked, reaching to hit the pause button before turning to him.

He smiled. "I'm a diagnostician," he told her, grinning proudly. "A genius doctor who can solve pretty much any case thrown my way."

"I've never heard of a diagnostician," she replied distrustfully.

"There aren't many of us out there," he admitted, shrugging like he wasn't surprised. "I'm one of very few. But definitely the best. Consider yourself privileged to make my acquaintance."

Erika's mouth quirked as she studied him for a second, knowing he was brash and bluster but also trying to judge whether he was bragging or honestly believed that to be the truth. For some reason she believed him and so she nodded, accepting his statement as fact.

"What do you do?" he asked then. "Besides living off your dead husband's insurance money," he added smugly.

Her eyes widened as she stared at him, thinking only a jerk would say something like that. But then she saw his eyes were smiling and she rolled her eyes, realizing he was trying to press her buttons and irritate her. "I'm an orthodontist," she informed him, thinking she shouldn't be too surprised to find they were both in the medical field, considering there were a lot of doctors living in this neighborhood.

"Good," he replied contentedly, nodding. "So if my kid ever decides she does want to take a pacifier or becomes a thumb-sucker down the road, you'll give me a discount on braces and save me some cold, hard cash."

She laughed but said, "Depends on how much I like you." Then she reached for the remote and hit play.

"You already like me," he replied pointedly. "Otherwise you wouldn't be here."

Not about to inflate his ego, she shrugged. "Are we going to watch this movie or not?"

House laughed and returned his attention to the screen. Five minutes passed before he glanced her way and nodded his head while saying, "I think I'm going to like having you for a neighbor."

Erika raised an eyebrow and turned to look at him. "That's probably a good thing," she remarked dryly. "Because unless you plan to move anytime soon, you're probably stuck with me for a neighbor for the next twenty or thirty years."

"Hah!" he harrumphed. "Trevor will have bounced you off to a nursing home by that time," he teasingly suggested, rubbing circles on Evie's back unconsciously as the baby fell asleep.

Her mouth dropped open and then she shut it, narrowing her eyes at him. "You've got ten years on me, easily," she quipped in mock outrage. "I think Evie will have packed you up and shipped you out long before I move on to green pastures."

"Maybe eight," House amended, sizing her up.

Erika crossed her arms, her lips pressing firmly together. "Do you ever shut up?" she asked, huffing out her breath. "I thought I was over here to watch a movie."

"You said you wanted adult conversation," he reminded her.

She chuckled humorlessly and said, "I've discovered you weren't lying. You really AREN'T any good at adult conversation. In fact, I think you are emotionally at an age level that places you closer to Trevor's age than mine."

House laughed heartily, only stopping himself when Evie jerked on his chest and began to whine. "I could throw in a few more suggestive remarks," he quipped.

"You'd still be closer to Trevor's age," she mumbled, though she threw a smile his way before shaking her head.

House sobered, contemplating her. "My mother found out who Evie's mother is without my knowledge today and while I was at your house, she gave her a call to get after her for walking away from my daughter," he quietly admitted after a moment, not really sure why he was telling her but not having a reason not to, either. He supposed he was telling her because there was something about her he liked. "That's why I sent her on her way," he concluded.

Erika's eyes widened as she turned to stare at him and then gaze down at the baby on his chest before asking, "Why doesn't Evie's mother want to be in her life?"

House shrugged. "It's a long story."

She nodded before taking a sip from her pop can. "I think you've made me miss a third of this movie already," she sarcastically pointed out, gesturing to the screen. "It won't kill me to miss the rest of it. I've seen it before."

He chuckled wryly. "I don't know," he drew out. "It's a good movie. When will I get the chance to see it again?"

"I'll let you borrow it," she reassured him dryly.

He smiled, concentrating on the screen. But after a moment he said, "Let's just say she had her happily-ever-after mapped out with someone else when she got pregnant with my kid. It messed up her well-laid plans and the only thing she committed herself to on my end was getting through the pregnancy and handing Evie over to me."

She noted the way his shoulders fell slightly and searched for something to say to provoke a reaction. "That sucks," she acknowledged, nodding as she kept her gaze on the screen as well. "For you, I mean."

"Probably as much as it sucks to be in love with a dead husband," he replied casually.

Erika couldn't believe they were having this conversation. She couldn't believe she'd only known him roughly two weeks, this was only the third encounter they'd had, and yet they were talking to each other like this. A smile tugged at her lips though. She shrugged. "He left involuntarily," she threw back at him. "At least I don't have to deal with the fact that he's out there somewhere, choosing NOT to be with me."

House gasped, taken aback. He struggled for words and then stated, "Well now, that's just harsh!"

"You can take it," she replied easily, turning to smile at him.

"Only because I know the discount on Evie's braces just went from 10% to 20%," he muttered, shaking his head as he grumpily glared at her.

She laughed, an eyebrow lifting. "First of all, you can afford braces. I know what you paid for this house. And secondly, you better intend to return the favor," she drolly volleyed.

"Next time Trevor needs a diagnostician, I'll do my best," House agreed sarcastically.

"I was thinking more about physical labor," Erika corrected.

It was House's turn to scoff. "Yeah, if you think I'm going to be shoveling snow for you this coming winter, you should pinch yourself because you're dreaming!"

"You could really use the workout though," she taunted, her nose wrinkling as she looked pointedly at his chest. "You're really in need of some tone."

House stared at her and then slid a hand protectively behind Evie to cradle her back and head while he reached for his Coke and chugged it down before stealing Erika's and polishing it off.

She shook her head in amusement and rolled her eyes. "Nice," she murmured caustically. "How generous of you to finish my Coke for me."

"I know," he replied in agreement. "What can I say? I'm a true gentleman."

* * *

House got to his feet when the movie ended and laid Evie down on the couch before picking his shirt up and tugging it back on to walk Erika to the door.

"Sure, now you're being modest," she quipped, taking the DVD case from him once he'd placed the movie back in.

"You know you liked ogling me throughout the movie," he teased over his shoulder as he walked to get the door for her.

She rolled her eyes and stepped outside. "Night, House," she dryly replied.

"Night, neighbor," he mumbled as he yawned sleepily, stepping out onto the porch to watch her walk home as he stretched.

Before she reached the driveway, he called out, "Hey! Tell Trevor he can come over sometime and race cars with me on my Xbox!"

She laughed and smiled back at him but kept walking. "Whoever she is, that woman doesn't know what she's missing out on," she murmured to herself as she unlocked the door to her house and headed inside, thinking of both House and his infant daughter.

* * *

House shut the door and locked it before heading back into the living room for Evie. He had a good time. And he was actually surprised that his neighbor had managed to cheer him up. It was nice too to have someone else around to hang out with, someone who lived right next door.

House lifted Evie from the couch and headed with her to her room. He could feel that she was wet. He studied her as she lay sleeping on the changing table throughout the diaper change and he wondered if he'd ever look at her and just see her, rather than seeing Cuddy there. As glad as he was that his kid looked like her mother instead of him, there were moments when it made it hard to think he'd ever stop seeing Cuddy wherever he went. It made it hard to think a day would come when he wouldn't see her name on his Caller ID and wait hopefully for the words, "I've changed my mind."

He really was a fool. Here was this beautiful woman living next door to him who he had quickly discovered he could banter with and talk to, attractive and sexy in her own way, and yet, banter was just banter. All he wanted was Cuddy, a woman who despised him and everything he stood for. He had even felt something resembling guilt for a second at enjoying another woman's company more than he did Evie's mom. He supposed that just showed how much of a fool he was. But he didn't want to be a fool any longer. He just wanted to be free from the hold Cuddy had on him.

House buttoned Evie back up and then went to lay her down in her crib. But just as he extended his arms to lay her down he changed his mind and sank into the rocking chair with her, deciding they might as well be together in this. He hadn't been the only one to lose something the day Cuddy made it clear she wanted nothing to do with either of them. Since they both had to move on without her, they might as well do it together. In some ways, they were all the other had.

-----

"_**Another empty bottle in the hand  
It helps to kill the things that we don't understand  
The thoughtless speak 'Yeah, I'll be there for you'  
Now sleep through all the dreams I never made come true  
Well I'm a fool for you  
What would you have me do?  
Oh I'm a fool for you  
I, I....**_

_**Trust this wretched heart to be so sure  
I'll stake my life on this, but I've been wrong before  
Now I don't blame you blanking me that time  
From all the awkward 'how are you's' and 'I'm just fine's'  
Well I'm a fool for you  
What would you have me do?  
I'm a fool for you  
I, I....**_

_**Feel that spin revolver in your hand  
Well it's impossible, you wouldn't understand  
Who do we think we were to even try?  
When this fear has claimed the souls of better men than I  
But I'm a fool for you  
What would you have me do?  
I'm a fool for you**_

_**What would you have me do?"**_

* * *

Song: "What Would You Have Me Do?" (David Ford)


	35. Storm

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Yea! Reviews! :) I promise! The end is Huddy! But unfortunately, we have a LONG ways to go!)_

* * *

October 8th, 2010

Cameron was sitting in the cafeteria when Thirteen went through the line and then spotted her, heading her way to sit down across from her. Cameron glanced up and smiled, "Hey."

"Hi," she replied, sighing.

"What's wrong?" Cameron asked, her mouth pursing.

"Nothing," Thirteen admitted. "But maybe that IS what's wrong. Now that I'm not working under House and I'm away from Diagnostics, life at PPTH has grown a little dull."

Cameron smiled and raised an eyebrow. "But you didn't work for House while he was in Mayfield," she pointed out. "This can't be that much different."

"Maybe not," Thirteen replied, shrugging. "But it's a lot more permanent. And when the most exciting thing happening in the hospital is how everyone's waiting on bated breath to see Cuddy come in with her new baby," she said, rolling her eyes, "there's no guarantee it's going to get more interesting. Maybe I just need time to adjust to this."

Cameron was thankful that Thirteen wasn't all that focused on her when she mentioned Cuddy's baby, not that she couldn't have dismissed any reaction as being based on Cuddy and her irritation with the boss, but it was safer not to react at all and she hadn't been prepared this time. She had most definitely looked at her wide-eyed and fearful for a second there, as if she knew what was really going on. "You'll adjust," Cameron assured her. "I had to when I came back to the hospital after leaving Diagnostics."

She nodded. Glancing up at Cameron, she asked, "Have you heard anything from House?"

Cameron shrugged. "I know he doesn't start the new job until the second week of November. I think he's off on vacation somewhere."

Thirteen looked a little surprised to hear House even knew how to take a vacation, but she didn't reply. "Have you heard from Cuddy?" she asked then.

"No," Cameron casually replied, shaking her head.

"The nurses all seem surprised that she hasn't come in yet. Frankly, I'm surprised too. I thought for sure she'd be here micromanaging what she could, or at least calling to check in. But no one seems to have heard from her. If someone had, being that this is PPTH someone would leak details of the baby and within a couple hours, everyone would know. It's a little weird that no one has heard anything," Thirteen finished.

"Yeah, maybe," Cameron said, "But then, Cuddy hasn't been herself lately. Maybe she's just taking a break from the hospital to adjust."

Thirteen nodded and Cameron spotted Foreman over Thirteen's shoulder, heading in their way. She smiled at her as she got to her feet and said, "Well, I've got to go but it looks like Foreman's here to take my space."

"See you," Thirteen replied, as she looked behind her to spot Foreman.

"Bye," Cameron responded, walking away to get rid of her tray. She slipped out of the cafeteria a moment later, grateful to escape without anyone detecting she knew more than she let on.

* * *

Wilson looked up to see Cameron enter his office.

"You know, it's been two weeks now and no one's heard from Cuddy," Cameron informed him in concern, shutting the door behind her.

"No one here," he replied, shaking his head. "House has."

"What?!" Cameron asked in disbelief.

"His mom found out," he told her, huffing out a breath. "She called Cuddy, basically to get some answers as to why she had abandoned her daughter and then talk some sense into her. She didn't talk to her but she left messages. House knew nothing until Cuddy called. I was on the phone with him at the time and he hung up with me to field her call. She told him to tell his mom to stop calling and something about how it wasn't her problem if he couldn't handle parenthood, House said. Then she hung up."

"Is House okay?" she asked worriedly.

"Yeah, but he kicked his mom out. Sent her home," Wilson replied, shrugging.

Cameron exhaled her frustration. "Well, at least that means Cuddy's alive."

"She is," Wilson reassured. "And clearly still not interested in Evie."

"Well," Cameron responded after a moment. "It's probably better that way. For all of them."

Wilson nodded his agreement.

* * *

House unlocked the carrier from the car seat base and lifted it out of the car to take Evie in for her first checkup. He'd selected a pediatrician who had a practice near Riverside East, simply because he knew it would make his life that much less complicated if her appointments could be close by his workplace. Thankfully the doctor had been highly recommended by his contacts in the pediatric world anyway.

House carried Evie inside the building and then up to the third floor where Dr. Ryan's office was, checking in at the front desk only moments later. He took a seat, eyeing the kids nearby so that one didn't get too close and spread whatever germs they were here for onto his kid, though the blanket he'd draped over her once he'd set her carrier down probably was enough of a barrier.

"Georgia House" was called five minutes later and House got to his feet, grateful to get in so fast. House had already transferred her file from Princeton General so he didn't have to deal with that. The nurse made some notes and then told him the doctor would be in shortly.

House had Evie unbuckled and in his lap when the door opened. He looked up and realized Dr. Ryan was not who he'd expected. Dr. Ryan, he now knew, was a woman. Somehow he'd been expecting another man. It wasn't that he was being sexist. He supposed he didn't really care. But he'd assumed it would be someone like Dr. Amundsen or like his pediatrician as a child: graying with male-patterned baldness, a slight paunch, and a grandfatherly expression. Dr. Ryan was none of those things. She was tall, blonde, and probably around Cameron's age.

"Dr. House," she said with a smile, greeting him with his title before stretching her hand out to shake his. "I'm Melanie Ryan, your daughter's new pediatrician. It's nice to meet you."

House shook her hand, an eyebrow still quirked in surprise.

"I take it this is Georgia," she said then, redirecting her attention to the baby in his lap.

He nodded even though it wasn't a question. Realizing she was going to wonder about him if he didn't actually say something soon, he said, "She goes by Evie."

"Do you mind if I take her?" she asked, looking up at him.

"No," House replied. He carefully handed the baby over to her and then watched while she checked her over. Ten minutes later Evie had been weighed, her head circumference and length measured, her heartbeat listened to, ears and eyes checked, and a shot administered, which Evie did not hesitate to complain regarding. House was quick to scoop her up and try to comfort her once it was over, a fact that the doctor did not fail to notice and smiled at.

She recorded her findings on Evie's chart and then asked him the general questions regarding her schedule, her diapers, how she slept, how much she typically ate in a feeding, and how the adjustment was going for him as well. House explained that he had custody of her and that her mother wasn't in the picture and she nodded, otherwise making no comment but just listening.

"Well," she said finally, "It looks like you are doing a great job. Evie's gained a couple ounces. Her heartbeat is nice and strong and everything looks good. Do you have any concerns?"

He hesitated but reluctantly asked all the stupid new parent questions he thought to ask. "Am I holding her too much? Should I be forcing her to sleep in her crib? Do I need to be worried since she's not getting antibodies from her mother's breast milk?"

Dr. Ryan smiled but reassuringly said, "You can't spoil her. Not by holding her too much. As long as you don't mind holding her, I'm all for it. It reinforces the bond between you and it helps her recognize you and feel safe with you. I wouldn't worry about that. As far as the crib, it's true that doctor's encourage parents not to sleep with their children and to lay their babies down on their backs. I'd say, just keep trying. She'll get it eventually. You've already said she's made progress. But Dr. House, do what works for you two. No family is alike. As for antibodies, I'd just do my best to keep her away from sick people, as I'm sure you already know. I know flu and cold season is around the corner and that can be intimidating for parents, but if she does get sick, it was bound to happen sometime. Just do what you can to protect her."

House nodded, knowing the majority of what she'd said but being grateful to have someone reinforce it all the same. He really didn't want to screw up here. This daddy thing he wanted to take serious and succeed in.

Dr. Ryan walked him out five minutes later, stopping at the front desk with him to set up the appointment for Evie's two month checkup. House left shortly thereafter, glad to have her first doctor appointment behind him.

* * *

October 9th, 2010

House threw another load in the wash and then sighed, taking it all back out again to go through it and use the stain-stick as his mother had told him to. Once every item was back inside he added detergent and hit the button to start the machine up before lifting Evie out of the bouncer he'd carried into the laundry room with him to have her in. The cleaning lady was scheduled to come today so he was relieved to know he didn't have to trouble himself with all the bottles lining the sink, unloading the dishwasher, or any of about a dozen other household chores, not least among them was cleaning the bathrooms. House thought he hated bathrooms the worst.

Evie needed a bath so he headed for the bathroom to tackle that but changed his mind at the last minute. He could stand a shower himself. Grabbing her towel and tub from the main bathroom, he carted them with him and Evie to his bathroom and stripped the two of them down, setting the tub by the shower for when she was clean and needed a place to be while he finished up. Typically he just gave her a sponge bath, but it just seemed easier to do both at once and save himself some time if the cleaning lady showed up soon.

Turning on the water, he adjusted the temperature and waited a moment before stepping within. Evie protested noisily when the water hit her, crying pathetically. House laughed and washed her up, being careful to hold on tight as she was a slippery little thing when wet. Her head bounced around a little on his chest and then she started sucking on his wet skin, making him roll his eyes. Obviously she was ready for a bottle too. Everything had to happen at once, he supposed.

"Kid, you aren't going to get anything," he informed her dryly, adding a little shampoo to her hair and gently working it in while she continued sucking at him. Well, water wouldn't hurt her anyway.

Once she was done, he opened the shower door to dry her off quickly and wrap her in her towel before setting her down in her tub. He shut the door again and added a little shampoo to his own hair. But he sighed dramatically as Evie started to cry again, demanding her bottle. He figured a little crying wasn't going to hurt her and so he ignored it while washing the shampoo out of his hair. But as he cleaned up, she continued to cry, and rather than leave the shower to make a bottle, he looked around for something to give her to suck on. Spotting a clean washcloth, he wet a corner down and then opened the door to slip the wet part in her mouth, not knowing whether or not he could get away with it at her age but not imagining it could hurt her either. Evie instantly quieted, sucking noisily at the water. It bought him just enough time to finish up.

* * *

House wrapped a towel around his waist and headed for the kitchen with Evie to make her bottle.

"Nice ensemble," Wilson quipped from where he stood in House's kitchen, searching the fridge for something to drink.

Startled at his best bud's presence, House clasped Evie close, afraid he was going to drop her. "Geez, Wilson! Don't do that!"

"You startle me all the time," Wilson reminded him, an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah well you almost brought little George's life here to an abrupt end," House remarked, shaking his head.

Wilson reached for her and House handed her over to free him up to make a bottle. He watched him walk out of the room with her and knew he was going to get her dressed, probably in some girly, frilly outfit. He rolled his eyes but didn't try to stop him.

When Wilson returned with Evie diapered, hair brushed, and in a pink dress, House groaned.

"Someone's got to make sure she uses these things before she outgrows them," Wilson defended.

House laughed and passed him the bottle before heading to go get dressed himself. When he came out a few minutes later, he said, "Hey, I have to go to the store. Wanna watch her?"

"Why don't I just come with?" Wilson suggested.

"Because I'm not walking the grocery store aisles with another man," House replied, as if that was obvious.

"Fine. Go for it," Wilson dryly replied. "I've got her covered."

"The cleaning lady should be here shortly," House called back over his shoulder as he grabbed his keys before returning to press a kiss to Evie's cheeks, ignoring the look Wilson gave him for the gesture.

* * *

House was only halfway through his grocery shopping when his cell phone rang. He glanced at the screen and then hit talk when he saw it was Wilson. "What do you want?" he asked him before he heard the sound of Evie crying in the background.

"Your kid won't stop crying," Wilson declared in agitation.

House pursed his lips, trying to gauge what she wanted over the phone. But it was too hard with the background noise of the grocery store. "Did you burp her after her bottle?" he asked, moving the grocery cart to the side of the aisle to be out of the way of a woman who overheard his words and smiled at him before passing by.

"Of course I did!" Wilson exclaimed, bouncing the baby in an effort to calm her down.

"Take your shirt off," House told him, unable to come up with any other ideas. She'd just had a clean diaper put on before he had left and anyway, Wilson would have thought to check that.

An elderly woman in the aisle ahead of him looked back at him and gave him a nasty glare. He waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively and she gasped and then stormed off with her cart, causing House to chuckle before concentrating on Wilson again.

"House, your cleaning lady is here!" he hissed into the phone, having slipped into the living room to answer him where she'd be less likely to overhear.

"My cleaning lady isn't going to care if you walk around my house without a shirt, Wilson," he replied, rolling his eyes.

"Fine!" Wilson declared mutinously, hanging up.

House put his phone in his pocket and tried to think of where he'd been going when he'd entered this aisle. He grabbed a couple cans of formula and then headed for the cereals to replenish his stock. Just as he finished putting cereal in his cart, his phone rang again and he sighed before digging it out.

Evie was still crying.

"It's not working!" Wilson declared impatiently.

"Since when can you not handle a crying baby?" House asked in disbelief. "So she's crying. Relax."

"You relax! I don't see her every day. I'd rather she not be despondent every time you leave her with me," he replied somberly.

House tried to think of what else to suggest. Then a possible solution dawned on him. "Grab my shirt from where I threw it on my bathroom floor," he told him. "Take that hideous dress off her and wrap her in my shirt. And Wilson," House added.

"Yeah?" he replied expectantly.

"Put your shirt back on so you don't scare my cleaning lady," House taunted, chuckling.

Wilson just hung up on him. But House left the grocery store fifteen minutes later without another call.

* * *

House stepped in through the garage door with a couple bags of groceries to hear Evie crying. He nodded a greeting to Gerta, his cleaning lady, set the grocery bags on the island in the kitchen, and then followed her cries to find Wilson in Evie's room rocking the baby who was still wrapped in his shirt, in the rocking chair.

"She's _still_ crying?" House asked in surprise from the doorway.

Wilson held the baby out to him and gave him an irritated look. "It worked for ten minutes but then she started up again."

House smiled and stepped into the room, taking the baby. "Kid, what did Uncle Wilson do to you?!" he sarcastically asked her.

She took great heaving breaths but the waterworks stopped as she began to settle down in his arms. House shot Wilson a smug look and Wilson just shook his head, getting up to walk past him and head for the kitchen. "Can we go out to eat?" he called back to House. "I need a break after my venture into babysitting."

"Sure thing," House agreed. "But unpack my groceries for me, would you? There's still three bags in the garage. I'm going to change screamer here's diaper and get her dressed again."

House entered the kitchen five minutes later to find Wilson putting away the last of the groceries. Wilson glanced up at him and shook his head wryly at the mini skirt, baby biker jacket, and t-shirt declaring, "This Is How I Roll," that House had Evie dressed in.

House shot him an innocent look. "What? The kid's in a skirt!"

Wilson refrained from commenting.

House bypassed him to track Gerta down. She was in the master bathroom, cleaning. "We're going out. If we don't get back before you leave, just lock up for me," he told her, knowing she had a key.

She nodded and he set the envelope with her pay on the counter for her before heading to the garage door. "You coming, Wilson?" he yelled then. Evie jumped in his arms and he shook his head. "Sorry about that kid."

Wilson came around the corner and headed their way.

"Where's the kid's diaper bag?" House asked him in disbelief.

"She's your kid! Why do you expect me to remember it?!" Wilson declared in frustration, but he turned back and went to track it down, joining House in the garage two minutes later and getting in the passenger seat while House buckled Evie in her car seat.

House shut her door and climbed in the front seat before hitting the garage door opener and starting the engine. Wilson buckled his seat belt before glancing in the backseat to check on the baby. "We need to get you one of those mirror thingies," Wilson stated when he saw House crane his neck to check on Evie too, right before pulling out.

"What mirror thingy?" House inquired.

"The ones you attach to the backseat so that you can see the baby's reflection in your rearview mirror," he explained.

"Why didn't you buy one of those when we went to Babies 'R Us before she was born?" House demanded to know, thinking it would have made it a lot easier to get out of the house the past couple weeks, even if he didn't really need to leave much.

Wilson smiled but rolled his eyes. "I can't think of everything," he replied sarcastically.

House harrumphed but remained silent as he turned onto the road and headed to the main street to find someplace to have lunch at. He made a mental note to track down the mirror Wilson was talking about.

"What did you do with your old car?" Wilson asked then, glancing at House. "Trade it in and upgrade?"

"Donated it," he replied, shrugging.

"Where?" Wilson queried, curious.

"A shelter for battered women and their kids," House mumbled.

Wilson couldn't make out what he'd said. "Where?" he asked again, focusing on his friend now.

"A shelter for battered women and their kids," House gruffly repeated, louder this time.

Wilson stared at him and House grumbled, "Just because you said I needed to get a new car, doesn't mean that someone else couldn't still use it."

"It's not that," Wilson replied, shaking his head in surprise. "It's just that… you donated it to help some poor woman get her life back together again and provide for her kids," he finished in disbelief.

House groaned and rolled his eyes before muttering through his teeth, "It's not like I donated my brand new car to them."

"Yeah, but…" Wilson began, still shaking his head. "It's like… your equivalent of someone with a benevolent spirit donating a new car."

House shot him a dirty look.

"What? I can't help it! You're turning into a normal person!" Wilson exclaimed, chuckling.

"Just shut up," House told him then, annoyed.

Wilson turned to stare out the window, unable to contain the grin on his face. He was beginning to think he really had no idea the depths House could reach.

* * *

Cuddy stood in her kitchen, preparing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for Rachel. Normally she was a lot more health-conscious of what she fed her, but tons of people fed their kids peanut butter and jelly without it doing them any damage. And she didn't have the energy to go to the store. Nor did she want to risk running into someone she knew. Cuddy felt trapped in her house. But trapped was better than the alternative, if the alternative meant she might run into someone somewhere that could potentially make her feel worse than she already did. Too, ever since giving birth, she had this fear of seeing babies. She just didn't think she could handle any yet. The thought alone was overwhelming. So she and Rachel stayed home, Cuddy typically in her bedroom and Rachel often in there with her.

While Cuddy was still functioning, each day it grew a little harder to pull through. She had no choice because of Rachel. But she had no drive either, no energy to pour into it. And in the back of her mind she knew she needed someone to help her. The problem with that was what Cuddy had the hardest time accepting. For good or bad, there was only one person she wanted.

She needed House to just get her through this. She held him responsible for the situation she was in but somehow even she knew he'd never intended for her to drown as she was in the process of. Cuddy didn't know how to survive this storm without him. Yet she couldn't bring herself to call him, either. Not when she wanted him to intercede for her and then walk away. Not when she wanted nothing to do with the baby she'd rejected and who now came as a package deal with House. And that was the nonnegotiable problem. Because he'd never come and pull her through this if it meant walking away from his baby for a time. Somehow she knew that and whether or not she needed him, she knew he wouldn't be there. He'd made his choice when she'd made hers. And now she was crippled with no one to come alongside her. So she continued to drown, sinking into the quicksand of her life.

Cuddy stopped in the midst of making the sandwich, her eyes shutting tightly to block out the light of day that was coming in through the window. Rachel needed to be fed. That was one truth. She would abandon her playing and come to tug on Cuddy's leg soon and ask for food. But for the moment, that meant Cuddy still had a few minutes to hide. And that was another truth. Cuddy was still running and she'd continue to run until her strength gave out, hoping that by some miracle, House would know and show up in her hour of need.

-----_**  
"How long have I been in this storm?  
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form  
Water's getting harder to tread  
With these waves crashing over my head**_

_**If I could just see you  
Everything will be alright  
If I'd see you  
The storminess would turn to light**_

_**And I will walk on water  
And you will catch me if I fall  
And I will get lost into your eyes  
And everything will be alright  
And everything will be alright**_

_**I know you didn't  
Bring me out here to drown  
So why am I 10 feet under and upside down?  
Barely surviving has become my purpose  
'Cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface**_

_**If I could just see you  
Everything will be alright  
If I'd see you  
The storminess will turn to light**_

_**And I will walk on water  
And you will catch me if I fall  
And I will get lost into your eyes  
And everything will be alright**_

_**And I will walk on water  
You will catch me if I fall  
And I will get lost into your eyes  
And everything will be alright  
I know everything is alright  
Everything's alright"**_

* * *

Song: "Storm" (Lifehouse)


	36. Falling Slowly

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Think I'll give you two chapters today! Hope you enjoy! Cuddy/House incoming!)_

* * *

October 11th, 2010

House opened the door to find Trevor standing there. "Hey kid," he greeted, rubbing his tired eyes. Evie was finally down for a nap after a long, sleepless night and House was ready to just crash and burn himself, but then he'd heard someone knocking on the front door and went to investigate.

"House," Trevor began, a hopeful expression on his face. "I don't have school today because there's a teacher workshop and mom said you'd offered to have me over so we could race cars together on your Xbox. She said you might not be able to right now but that I could come over and check. Can you? Can we play?"

House stared at the kid. "The baby's sleeping, kid," he told him then.

Trevor's face fell and his eyes hit the floor. "Okay," he mumbled unhappily.

House sighed and rolled his eyes. He seriously considered just closing the door and sending the kid on his way, exhausted from his own child. But in the end, he caved, the kid tugging on his heartstrings. "Alright, but we have to keep the noise down."

Trevor immediately brightened, launching himself at House and wrapping his arms around his legs enthusiastically. House stared at the boy, not knowing what to do or say to get the kid to let go. "Do you have to run home and let your mom know?" he asked.

Trevor released him and looked up at him. "I can't run," he reminded House without inflection.

House felt like an idiot. How many times had he gotten after someone for making a comment like that without thinking, albeit usually in jest, and yet here he'd done the same thing. "Kid, I…" he began, but stopped when he really didn't know how to finish.

Trevor smiled broadly. "Mom said to call her if I was staying," he replied.

"Phone's in the kitchen," House directed, closing the door once Trevor was inside.

Trevor headed to the phone to call his mom while House pulled out some games for the Xbox, thinking that Wilson would love hearing about this.

* * *

October 15th, 2010

"Thanks for inviting us over," Erika said as she and Trevor entered the house.

"Hope you like pizza," House replied, shrugging nonchalantly. Wilson had cancelled on him do to an emergency with a patient, telling him he'd come by tomorrow instead. House had then called Cameron and Chase, but they were busy with plans of their own. So he'd called Erika, inviting her and Trevor for pizza and a movie, desperate for some company as he'd felt trapped all week in the house with Evie.

"What kind did you get?" Trevor asked, turning to look back at him.

"You've got three options. Meat Lovers, Supreme, and Cheese," House told him as he shut the door once they were inside.

"Please tell me you didn't get three pizzas," Erika replied, laughing.

House's mouth quirked and he said, "Seriously, you can never have too much pizza!"

"Leftover pizza for breakfast is the best!" Trevor piped in with his opinion.

She shook her head in amusement when House adamantly agreed. "Where's Evie?" she asked then.

"In her swing. Want to get her and change her diaper for me?" House asked hopefully.

Erika smiled at the expectant expression on his face, one that Trevor so often threw her way. "Sure, why not?" she readily agreed.

House dramatically exhaled in relief before turning to head into the kitchen and grab some pop from the fridge, Trevor following behind him.

"What movie are we going to watch?" Trevor asked him a moment later.

"You can take your pick. They're out on the table," House replied.

When Trevor turned to return to the living room and see what he had, House called him back. "Hey! Wait a second! You have to help a fellow cripple out and carry some pop."

House waited to see how the kid would react to his words but Trevor's smile only grew as he returned to take a six-pack of pop from him, tromping his way to the living room right after. House watched him go, quite pleased with himself and pleased with Trevor too. The kid needed to get used to people saying stuff. It might as well start by way of another cripple.

House turned then to grab a bottle and the formula, measuring out a couple scoops before adding water. When it was done warming, he spun it in his hand and tucked it in his back pocket, amusing himself and Erika as well, unbeknownst to him.

"You're going to have milk squirting out your rear if you keep shaking bottles like that," she quipped, entering the kitchen with Evie in her arms.

House smiled and said, "Well, could be worse things squirting out my rear."

She groaned and made a face as she passed him his daughter. "Speaking of, thanks for giving me the opportunity to change that diaper. Somehow I get the feeling you knew what I was in for when you asked me."

House laughed but didn't reply, not about to give her any clue as to what he did and did not know so that she wouldn't be skeptical next time he asked her to change a diaper. "Grab the pizzas, would you?" he prompted, his chin jutting in the direction of the steaming boxes on top of the island.

She picked them up and followed him back into the living room for pizza night, shaking her head when Trevor bypassed the Disney flicks House had gotten his hands on for a DVD case for Monster Truck Mania. She wondered just how long a night she was in for but sat down next to House, scooting over a minute later when Trevor practically sat on her, wanting to sit in between both of them.

* * *

House watched with amusement as Trevor reached for his fifth slice of pizza. "Good thing I ordered as much as I did," he dryly commented to Erika over Trevor's head.

Erika had been watching Trevor too and she shook her head in surprise. "Three is usually all he can manage. Apparently he's going through a growth spurt or something."

"Or something," House repeated, watching the way her kid wolfed the slice down as he set aside Evie's bottle to burp her.

"Trev, you're going to be sick if you eat that fast!" Erika admonished.

He looked at her, a grin spreading across his face, lips and chin thoroughly coated with pizza sauce.

House laughed at the look on Erika's face, somewhere between embarrassed at her son's behavior and amused by how much Trevor seemed to be enjoying his pizza. He reached for a slice himself, making sure to get sauce on his face too, just to provoke an eye roll. "Want to lick it off?" he taunted her.

"Such a tempting offer, but I'll have to say, that's a no," she wryly replied.

When sauce dribbled from his chin and landed on Evie's forehead, House looked down at his daughter in surprise. Erika huffed out a breath as if annoyed and got up to move around Trevor and take the baby from House, heading to the baby's room to grab a wet wipe and clean her off before going to the kitchen to grab a stack of napkins. House made a big deal out of trying to lick his chin clean when she returned and she looked at him, clearly disgusted, causing him to laugh gleefully.

* * *

House looked at the kid beside him who had fallen asleep and then looked at Erika who was also out cold. He couldn't believe it. Glancing at his watch he could see it wasn't even 9:30 yet. He slowly got to his feet, being careful as he had Evie in his arms and Trevor lodged firmly into his side. Just as House picked up the remote and turned off the TV, Erika stirred and yawned sleepily as she sat upright.

"I am NOT carrying your kid home," he matter-of-factly murmured.

She smiled and stretched. "Why not? I carry your kid. It's only fair."

"My kid weighs less than a sack of potatoes," he grumbled.

"Sorry I fell asleep," she apologized a moment later, rubbing her eyes with one hand as she reached to shake Trevor's shoulder with the other.

"Well apology not accepted," House snottily declared. "What kind of company are you people, anyway?"

"The tired kind," she told him. "Trevor, time to go home," Erika said then, still shaking his shoulder.

"Huh?" he murmured as he blearily lifted his eyes to look around.

"Time to go home and get to bed," she explained as she got to her feet.

"Oh. Okay," Trevor replied sleepily, stumbling to his feet.

Erika came around the coffee table and pressed a kiss to Evie's forehead before hesitantly looking up at House.

He waggled his eyebrows at her, a smile creeping its way onto his features.

She shook her head but actually did stand on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek.

House looked at her in surprise, not having expected that at all.

Erika smiled. "Thanks for dinner and a movie," she teased before turning to steer a half-asleep Trevor to the door.

"Night," House called after them, not moving. He stood there until the door closed and then reached up with his free hand to touch the spot she'd kissed, wondering what that had been about. He shrugged finally and carried the baby to the bedroom to lay her down so that he could put the leftovers in the fridge, hoping to get a good night's rest himself.

* * *

October 16th, 2010

Cameron was hurrying around the ER at a frantic pace, shortly after 3 a.m. She'd been called in to work because the ER was understaffed and there had been a serious car accident not five blocks from the hospital at midnight. As she moved to the next bed, she glanced up at the sound of a familiar voice to find Cuddy coming in with Rachel, a bucket in one hand to catch her vomit as Rachel alternated between crying and puking. Cameron looked at them with alarm and directed one of the interns to take over for her so that she could attend to them personally.

"Bring her over here," Cameron directed, pointing Cuddy to an empty exam cubicle. Closing the curtain around the bed to ensure privacy, she immediately went to work, checking the toddler over.

"How long has she been throwing up like this?" she asked, glancing up in surprise to note Cuddy's appearance. Cuddy looked like emotionally she was on the verge of losing it. Her physical appearance was no better. She had on a sweatshirt and sweatpants, her hair was tangled and all over the place, she had no makeup and generally looked like she hadn't taken a shower in days.

"She's been throwing up and has had diarrhea the last three days. The first day I thought it was the flu but she keeps getting worse and worse. It's got to be food poisoning but I can't figure out what I might have given her to get her sick. I've been doing my best to keep her hydrated but sometimes it's all I can do to get her to drink a little before she throws up again," Cuddy replied, somewhat panicked. "Just figure it out for me! I want to take her home! I don't want to have to stay here! I just… I need you to figure it out and get her on some anti-vomiting medication to clear this up."

Cameron had never seen Cuddy in such a state and frankly, it worried her more than Rachel's illness. "What was the consistency of her stool?" she asked next.

"It hasn't been solid since this started. Just very watery," Cuddy replied, sinking into a chair beside the bed as if exhausted. She had come to PPTH as a last resort, having put it off in hopes Rachel would work whatever it was out of her system by now.

Cameron listed various foods that can cause food poisoning but to each one Cuddy shook her head to say Rachel hadn't had it. She then listed various ailments such as dizziness and abdominal cramping, but Cuddy did not think Rachel had been suffering from any of what she threw her way. Cameron was actually positive she knew what was wrong with Rachel, as it was the most common cause of food poisoning in children. But she just couldn't figure out how it was possible, being that Cuddy was a doctor and for that reason alone, she left it as the last possibility to rule out.

She worked to calm Rachel down while she checked her over. Deciding that an IV was in Rachel's best interests, she leaned out of the curtain and signaled an intern to hook it up to pump some fluids into her for her moderate dehydration. As Cuddy was sitting in the chair, completely drained, Cameron was relieved to not have to worry about her interceding in her efforts to fix what was wrong with Rachel. She also counted herself lucky that Cuddy wasn't trying to question everything she did or demand answers like some mothers, simply allowing her to do her job.

Within a half hour Cameron was sitting up on the bed with Rachel in her lap, the IV connected to Rachel's hand and anti-vomiting and diarrheal medication in Rachel's system to help bring her symptoms to a stop. Cameron turned to look at Cuddy then, only to find her sitting there staring at the floor, completely content with allowing Cameron to take over and for all rights and purposes, disinterested in what was going on. For the first time Cameron realized just how odd her behavior was, both because Cuddy was typically a take charge person and because this was Cuddy's own daughter.

Cameron and Cuddy hadn't been around each other on a regular basis in months, typically having only run into one another on the occasions where Cameron had done something that involved House and brought her under fire and Cuddy's scrutiny. She really didn't feel comfortable probing to see how Cuddy was, but she didn't see much choice for it either. It wasn't that she didn't care about how Cuddy was doing. She wasn't heartless. It was just that she didn't want to get yelled at anymore.

"How are you doing?" she asked, waiting for Cuddy to bite her head off for the question.

"I'm not here for me. I'm here because of Rachel," Cuddy replied quietly, not angry as Cameron had expected but not interested in opening up, either.

"But I'm still interested in knowing how you are doing," Cameron told her, surprising herself with how genuinely she really meant that.

"Just take care of Rachel," Cuddy replied, not meeting Cameron's gaze.

Cameron frowned and studied her but decided she'd deal with first things first. Sliding to the side of the bed and setting Rachel down carefully so as to not disturb the IV, Cameron asked, "Can you sit here with her? I really need to make some notations on her chart."

"She'll be fine on the bed," Cuddy mumbled, rather than answering the question.

Cameron looked at her in bewilderment but just then the curtain opened and one of the nurses stepped in. "Dr. Cuddy! I'm so sorry to hear about Rachel! I thought I'd come and see if there was anything I could do," she exclaimed. "How are you?! How's the new baby doing?"

Cuddy's eyes flashed at the mention of the baby and before Cameron could even think to intercede in the situation, she scowled at the nurse and angrily hissed, "I don't want to talk about it! Can't you see I have a sick child to deal with? Couldn't we just focus on that fact?"

Cameron looked from Cuddy to the nurse who was clearly on the verge of tears and sympathetically laid a hand on the nurse's shoulder and steered her out of the cubicle ahead of her. Leading her away and out into the hallway beyond the ER, she murmured, "Sorry Jody. Dr. Cuddy's a little upset right now about how bad Rachel seems to be doing. I'm sure she didn't mean to be that hard on you. She's just concerned about her daughter who has a bad case of food poisoning. You know how it is," she tried to cajole, remembering that Jody had three kids of her own. "Mothers always blame themselves when their little ones don't feel well."

Jody nodded and sniffed, blinking away tears.

"Why don't you see if you can find some stickers to send home with Rachel to cheer her up with?" she suggested then, redirecting the nurse so as to get her mind off of things. When Jody nodded and walked away, Cameron sighed heavily and then looked up at the ceiling before heading back into the ER, hoping Jody was the only nurse to ask Cuddy any questions in the time she remained at PPTH. She was beginning to think it might not be such a bad idea after all to send Cuddy on her way, once she was sure that Rachel would be alright. If this was Cuddy moving on, she had a long ways to go. Though Cameron had to admit, something niggled in the back of her mind, telling her that all was not well with Cuddy and the situation at hand; something that went beyond Rachel's food poisoning.

* * *

Hours later, Cameron stood outside the ER, debating with herself as to what she had to do now. Cuddy had left PPTH with Rachel an hour ago before Cameron had a chance to dig deeper into how Cuddy was doing, too bogged down with other patients in the ER. As much as it relieved Cameron to be free of Cuddy's presence, something would not sit right with her and she weighed her options, not liking any of them. Finally, she reached for her cell phone, hating what she was about to do but knowing she'd made a promise to House and did not want to give him a reason to distrust her in the future should he learn about Cuddy's visit to the ER through someone else when there were so few people he'd built relationships with and depended on. The phone rang and she inhaled and then exhaled slowly, her eyes closing, dreading what she had to tell him.

"Hey, Cameron. What's up?" House answered after the third ring, a burp rag and the baby up on his shoulder as he'd just finished giving Evie her bottle.

Cameron smiled at the ease and nonchalance with which he answered the phone, thinking about how he answered like a normal person for once rather than with the old gruffness and directness to the purpose of the call. She had a feeling he was getting comfortable with this daddy thing. She hoped she wasn't about to undo any of the work he'd put into moving forward. "Hey, House. Um…" she sighed and then charged ahead. "I'm only calling and telling you this because you asked me to."

"What is it? What's going on?" House asked, only vaguely surprised to find himself dreading her response. It could only be something to do with Cuddy. He had already committed himself to leaving her behind in the past, many times, though this past week he'd hardly thought of her beyond just in passing, somehow managing to push her from his mind. House had figured he'd finally reached a turning point where he could move forward even if it didn't mean he'd healed his wounds or forgotten her. The idea that this call might somehow drag him back into that sinkhole of misery was not all that pleasant a thought.

"I ended up getting called in last night and had to pull a night shift because we were down on staff," Cameron began, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her other ear as she stood outside the ER admittance area, keeping one eye peeled for any emergencies that might require her to get back inside. She wasn't sure how long she had to talk so she charged forward. "Cuddy came into the ER in the middle of the night. Rachel was pretty sick."

"Sick with what?" House demanded, not wasting time but getting right to the point.

Cameron sighed and quietly admitted, "Rotavirus."

House fell silent for a moment. Rotavirus was the most common cause of food poisoning in infants and children. The fact that Rachel had it should therefore not be so far out of the realm of possibility. In fact, it should be understandable. But rotavirus was spread through contamination with fecal matter. And that meant either Rachel was playing with other kids or unclean toys, OR that Cuddy had really slipped on the handwashing and cleanliness category. She was a doctor. She knew proper hygiene. He couldn't understand it being that. Which left Rachel playing somewhere where cleanliness was lacking or where other children played. But Rachel didn't go to daycare and he doubted Cuddy was leaving the house much more than he was right now so he really didn't believe Rachel was at the local McDonalds, going through the tunnels in the kids play area, sucking on contaminated stuff. "How is she?" he finally asked. "How bad was it?"

"She was moderately dehydrated and you could tell it was bad enough to consider keeping her, though we didn't. Cuddy was adamant that she didn't want to admit her. We put her on diarrheal and anti-vomiting meds. By 5 a.m., the meds seemed to have done the trick. We did give her some fluids intravenously but once she stopped throwing up and was rehydrated, Cuddy took her home. I think she'll be better soon. I'm not so worried about Rachel…unless whatever caused her to get sick in the first place is still an issue in her environment. But, uh, Cuddy, well… She's a wreck, House. She practically snarled at the only nurse to ask about the baby, saying she 'didn't want to talk about it,' that she 'had a sick child to deal with' and 'couldn't we focus on that?' House, Cuddy was not her normal take charge self. She was a disaster. She looked like she hadn't showered in several days, her hair wasn't brushed, she came in without makeup, deep circles under her eyes; she was not Cuddy, Dean of Medicine. If this was anyone else, I would dismiss it. It was in the middle of the night anyway and her child has been sick the last few days. But I know Cuddy. She would never come to her hospital not looking like a million bucks. It kind of freaked out some of the nurses. They are concerned that Cuddy's overwhelmed and about to lose it. They worry that there is something seriously wrong with the baby and there are all kinds of rumors floating around at the moment, though none of them close to the truth. Last one I heard is that the baby has Down's and that's why Lucas left and why Cuddy has been strange during her pregnancy. Anyway, you know, Cuddy rarely snaps at her own nurses. You, yes. Nurses, no. So I'm calling you, mainly because only you, Wilson, Chase and I know about what happened with the baby and so one of the four of us would have to get involved if we wanted to keep this on the down low. I don't know what you can do about it or who you want to contact but maybe someone needs to go over there and check on her, make a judgment call about whether or not she needs some help. Honestly House, I think it looked like a serious case of postpartum depression. Even her interactions with Rachel were off. The only thing is, I wasn't with them long enough to judge to what extent it went, beyond just her illness. And rotavirus? I mean, this is Cuddy's kid. How did Rachel get rotavirus?"

House was silent for a moment and Cameron almost thought he'd hung up on her but after another minute of silence she heard him sigh heavily through the phone. "Okay. I'll go over and check on her."

Cameron sighed too. "But House," she added.

"Yeah?" he replied softly.

"If it's serious and it's going to be more than you can handle in a few hours, call someone else in on this. Maybe a relative or Cuddy's parents. You've got your hands full with your daughter and no one expects you to take care of Cuddy. You've done your part," Cameron pressed, wanting to make it clear that her intention was to make sure Cuddy got help, not that House would hold himself responsible to step in and try and fix Cuddy. "Promise me you won't get too involved," Cameron said. "I'm 95% certain that she's going to need more help than you can commit to giving her."

"Yeah, alright," House agreed, knowing it wouldn't be right for him to get that involved anyway, especially now that he'd committed himself to moving forward and doing right by his daughter. Plus, Wilson would never let him get away with it anyhow. "If it's bad, I'll call her mom."

"Okay. Sorry about this, House," she softly apologized, both of them knowing she hadn't wanted to place this call.

"It's fine, Cameron. Don't worry about it. You are doing what I asked you to do," he reminded her, adjusting the phone so he could set Evie down on the changing table for a diaper change.

"Alright. Bye, House. Call me if you need anything," Cameron stated, meaning it. "I'm taking off in another hour or so and I have tomorrow off as well."

"I will," he informed her before hanging up.

* * *

House set the phone down and just stared at Evie, his thoughts far away. Evie shifted her head, her blue eyes focusing on him as she noisily sucked on the pacifier he'd been trying all morning to convince her to take. A smile tugged on House's lips a moment later when the pacifier fell out as she started hiccupping, bringing him back to reality. He quickly stripped her down and changed her diaper, chuckling when it occurred to him how good he had gotten at this. Once he had her back in clothes he rubbed his cheek against hers, enjoying the face she would make when he did that and then kissed her without thinking anything of it before placing her in the swing in hopes she'd take a nap. He grabbed his phone and limped out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"Yeah, Wilson," he said a moment later, after plopping down on the couch in the living room and dialing the number. "It's Saturday and you have nothing better to do. Come babysit."

* * *

Wilson had grumbled a bit about the hour House was calling him at but it was 9 a.m. and House knew Wilson wasn't still asleep. He also knew Wilson had already intended to come by. What surprised House was that Wilson hadn't asked why he needed him to babysit, even after House told him to bring a change of clothes in case he spent the night. House was almost relieved but realized after a moment that he'd be stuck explaining where he was going once his buddy arrived and then he would also have to endure the looks Wilson gave him, rather than just hearing Wilson's arguments as to why it would be better to just keep his distance from this situation.

He groaned, pushing himself to his feet. Wilson had a key. He could let himself in. House needed a shower.

* * *

Once House finished showering and had pulled on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, he rubbed a towel through his hair and headed out to the kitchen in his bare feet, needing some coffee.

"Hey," Wilson greeted him, having already poured himself a cup. He looked at House, smiling as his gaze focused on House's head. "Nice hair."

"I'm going for a new look," House sarcastically replied.

"What are you going to call it?" Wilson asked, taking another swallow from the steaming cup in his hand.

House just smirked, rifling a hand through his wet hair, making it stand up on end even more. "Since bed head is taken, maybe I'll just go with House hair. Name the style after myself."

Wilson chuckled wryly but didn't comment.

"So," House began, deciding to just get it over with. "You aren't going to like the reason I asked you to babysit."

Wilson rolled his eyes, instantly suspicious that this had to do with Cuddy. "Tell me it has nothing to do with 'She Who Will Not Be Named' and I won't even ask what you are up to now."

House pressed his lips firmly together, looking away, and in turn Wilson sighed dramatically. "Spill," he finally said, his voice coated with irritation.

"Cameron called. Rachel's sick and it was bad enough that Cuddy had to bring her into the ER," House began.

"Is Rachel going to be OK?" Wilson asked in concern, though he was hoping at this point that this was about Rachel and not so much Cuddy.

"Yeah, she'll be fine. But it was rotavirus and I'm clueless as to how that could have happened. They gave her fluids and managed to get the vomiting to stop with meds so they didn't have to admit her, which was what Cuddy told them she'd rather not do. But Cameron's concerned," he finished.

Wilson raised his eyebrows at this before taking another sip from his coffee. "If she's going to be fine, is Cameron concerned about the fact that she had rotavirus or does this go back to Cuddy?"

House scratched his head and then ran his fingers through his scruff. "Cameron said Cuddy was a wreck. It's more than just Rachel being sick, she said. Thinks Cuddy's got some serious issues right now. Probably postpartum."

"One, Cuddy has had some serious issues for quite a while now. And two, what makes that your responsibility?" Wilson asked, clearly upset to see House getting dragged back in and feeling very protective of his best friend after all he'd been through.

"Well, she did have my kid," House sarcastically muttered.

"And again I ask, what makes that your responsibility?" He threw back, not about to settle for that reason alone.

"Come on, Wilson," House griped in frustration. "If you and I thought Cuddy was depressed before, I can only conclude that it's gotten worse, rather than better. Otherwise Cameron wouldn't have contacted me about this." He didn't add that he'd asked Cameron to report to him if anything was off with Cuddy, figuring he didn't need Wilson to bust his balls over that too.

"So what are you supposed to do about it?! You've got an infant who needs you. It's not like you can drop everything and go to her whenever Cuddy's world isn't quite right," Wilson sternly informed him, setting his coffee cup down and crossing his arms in front of him.

House rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to drop everything whenever things fall apart for Cuddy. I don't have the energy or the freedom to do that, even if I had the desire to. I'm just asking you for this favor today. If it makes you feel better I told Cameron I'd go in and evaluate the situation and then if it is serious and Cuddy needs help, I'll call someone else in. I'm just asking that you watch Evie for me today."

"And if I say no?" Wilson asked seriously.

House eyed him. "You aren't going to say no. Come on, Wilson. We both know that. You know I can't take Evie with me. Not that it matters with rotavirus but Evie isn't even breastfed. She isn't getting any immunity at all from her mother's system anymore. And she's not even a month old. There's no way I'd risk her getting sick. Even if I could trust that Cuddy's house is a sterile environment like it used to be."

"Then you won't go," Wilson pointed out.

"I'll go," House argued. "You'd just force me to find someone else to watch Evie for the day. I'd have to call on my neighbor or something. I'm not going to risk not getting Cuddy the help she needs if things are as bad as Cameron concluded. That's not in Evie's best interest any more than it is Cuddy's."

"Hey, I never said anything when you decided to ask the judge not to terminate her parental rights, House, but Cuddy doesn't want to be involved in Evie's life. That was her decision. So does it really matter one way or the other whether you get involved in this, strictly looking at where Evie is concerned? If Evie's never going to have Cuddy in her life, are you really sure that you need to be involved in Cuddy's life? Are you sure you need to intervene in the situation?" he asked him seriously.

"If it's bad enough that I have to question whether my daughter's mother is heading in the direction of offing herself, then yes," House firmly declared through clenched teeth, his eyes flashing. "And even if that's not where this is headed, for Evie's sake AND Rachel's sake, I have to do what I can to ensure that Cuddy will get the attention she needs. Even if she's a crappy mother to Evie, a mother that abandoned her still beats a mother who abandoned her and then slit her wrists. She needs help. I can get her that before it's too late. My kids aren't going to grow up with a mother six feet under. Nor a mother who's in the loony bin. They have a father who has been there, done that, and he wouldn't wish that on anyone. Not even Cuddy."

Kids. Plural. House didn't even realize what he had said but Wilson sighed, not as surprised as he should have been upon hearing House include Rachel as belonging to him. He wasn't quite sure where that had come from but he bet it had something to do with all those months of Cuddy bringing Rachel with her when she was using House for sex. If House had bonded with Cuddy's kid back then, Wilson was not going to win this battle. Resignedly he asked, "So you will call someone else to deal with Cuddy if it's bad? You swear?"

House rolled his eyes but nodded, willing to give Wilson that as he was clearly defeated in his striving towards talking House out of going at all. "I'll call her mother if I have to. Otherwise I will be back as soon as I can."

Wilson nodded. "Will you tell Cuddy's mom about Evie, if you do end up calling her in?" he asked then.

House shrugged. "I'm not the one who wants to keep Cuddy's parents in the dark. That's what Cuddy wants. But if I get the opportunity, I don't know that I will continue to respect Cuddy's wishes, especially if I have to call Evelyn into this mess. She's going to need to know everything in order to ensure that Cuddy gets help to deal with all of it. However, if I can help it I'd prefer to tell her about Evie's existence in person. While I can do that over the phone with my mother, that's not something I care to do on the phone with Evelyn." He didn't add that he wanted Evelyn in Evie's life. That he felt they both deserved that.

Wilson nodded. "Alright, but call me and give me an update."

"I will but don't bring Evie by unless I call first and give the OK. I am serious about not wanting her to get sick," House instructed. "Now let me give you a rough outline of her schedule to get you through the day today, though you can call me at anytime, and frankly, she's going to do what she wants so her schedule will probably change. Evie's asleep now but she'll probably be up in an hour, ready for another feeding."

Wilson grabbed the pad of paper and pen from the counter beside him, passing it to House. He took it, immediately scribbling down Evie's routine for Wilson to refer to.

Heading for the front closet to grab his jacket, he said, "Oh! And if she starts crying a lot, try music. That seems to help calm her down too."

Wilson nodded and followed his friend to the door, watching him put his jacket on. "Call me," he said once more, his expression grim.

"I will," House reassured him, as he opened the door and stepped outside, closing it behind him.

* * *

It was almost noon by the time House made it to Cuddy's door. He pressed the doorbell three times but when he got no answer he reached down and knocked aside the pot from Cuddy's stoop, retrieving her spare key. He let himself in and crossed the threshold, closing the door quietly behind him. It felt wrong to be here. He hadn't been here since last Christmas. But then, what choice did he really have? Who else could have come in his place?

Removing his coat, he hung it by the door and stepped into her front entryway, brushing his thoughts aside as he glanced into her living room. What met his eyes caused deep furrows in his brow. Her house was a pigsty. Even his never got this bad. He wondered what had happened to her nanny and cleaning lady but he no longer wondered how rotavirus was even possible.

House sighed and kicked his shoes off, walking through the front of the house first. He knew he was putting off the inevitable of seeing her but he couldn't help himself. He headed through the sitting room and into her kitchen, noting the pile of crusty dishes overflowing from the sink onto the countertops. Something smelled rank and without hesitation he searched for her garbage can under the sink. It was overflowing.

He removed the bag and replaced it with another, limping around the kitchen with the trashcan and throwing rotten bananas within along with any opened food containers. He reviewed the contents of the fridge, noting one gallon of already expired milk and instantly pouring it down the drain. He checked the date on the other milk jug, but it was good for a few more days. Once he thought he'd gotten everything, he threw both bags by the side door to take out to the trash. Then he about faced and headed back to the entryway and finally down the hall towards the bedrooms. Rachel's door was cracked open so he gently pushed it a bit wider, looking within. She was sound asleep on her toddler bed, thankfully in clean clothes, though her sheets could probably stand a washing. He grabbed the pile of dirty clothes from the floor, feeling like a maid, and threw them into the hamper, setting it into the hallway. Then he quietly made his way to Rachel, feeling her forehead. She didn't seem to have a fever anymore and she was breathing easily enough. He bet she was just exhausted at this point. Turning, he eased from the room and headed down to Cuddy's bedroom, opening the door much more hesitantly than he had been about opening Rachel's.

He stood in the doorway, watching her, trying not to feel anything at all but to just assess the situation with objectivity and a doctor's eye. Though she was turned away from him, he could see that her eyes were open. Her room was a disaster as well with piles of clothes scattered all over the floor. The bedding was down at the bottom of her bed in a tangled mess. He imagined Cuddy was still wearing the same clothes that she'd gone to the hospital in during the night. He silently entered her room, coming around the bed until he was beside her. He had a feeling it was vomit he smelled.

If House startled her at all she did not show it, her eyes not even focusing on him until he sank down onto the bed beside her. Neither of them spoke for a moment.

House reached up, brushing her hair away from her forehead to feel for a temperature, but she was cool to the touch. Everything about being here and seeing her again just felt awkward and uncomfortable. Meeting her eyes he aimed for being objective and asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," she said after a moment, her voice breaking as if she hadn't spoken in quite some time.

"When did you last sleep?" House asked somberly, his voice nonchalant and his expression controlled although he was internally disturbed by the deep circles around her eyes and the pallor of her face.

She shrugged, otherwise not moving from where she lay curled up in the fetal position. "I don't remember. Before Rachel got sick."

"Has Rachel been sleeping at all?" he inquired.

"Not for more than an hour at a time," Cuddy murmured. "She fell asleep a couple hours ago and this is the first time she's slept without waking up vomiting."

"How long has she been sick?" he asked next, realizing that although Cuddy was answering him, it was with no emotion or inflection whatsoever.

"Three days," she replied softly.

He pursed his lips. "How long do you think you slept for when you did last sleep?" he finally questioned, his eyes sweeping over the length of her now while he tried to determine if she was taking care of herself at all.

Cuddy averted her gaze, staring at the wall across the room from her. "I don't know. A few hours, maybe," she ultimately acknowledged.

House sighed, rubbing his face.

"I just can't sleep," she whispered then, closing her eyes as if she could shut him out just as easily.

"So what do you do?" he asked next, silently willing her to continue with her responses to his questions. He was not above strong-arming her but at the moment he really just didn't have the energy. And her answers were at least one way of finding out where she was at.

"Cry," she mumbled. House barely heard her. He sat there watching her but her eyes remained closed. He didn't know what to say. She didn't say it as if she wanted his comfort, not that he was sure he could give her that even if she had. Still, she said it with so little emotion that he wondered just where she was at in all this. She seemed adrift and lost at sea.

House got up from the bed, hoping that maybe she'd fall asleep too if he slipped out of the room. He hadn't asked yet about the people she generally had around to help her during the week but he'd get to that. He checked on Rachel again but then grabbed the hamper from the hallway, determining that he'd get some of the laundry in the wash and go fix her something to eat unless she was out cold by then. He hadn't asked her about when she had last eaten either but he was sure that her answer would be unsatisfactory.

Once he had a load started he returned to her room to grab the clothes from her floor. He picked them up and then glanced Cuddy's way hoping she'd be asleep, but her eyes were open once again. He slipped back out and tossed the pile in the laundry room before grabbing his cell phone from his pocket. He dialed Cuddy's doctor from memory and when it listed the extension to dial in case of an emergency, he went ahead and entered it, not caring whether or not anyone else would judge this an emergency. He supposed he should call her regular physician but Dr. Amundsen was the one he knew and who was more informed as far as Cuddy's pregnancy was concerned.

When the nurse came on he explained who he was and that he needed a brief consult with Dr. Amundsen but left the details out, claiming patient confidentiality as an excuse. She put him through to the doctor's cell phone almost without question and he was surprised it was so easy. After a brief conversation Dr. Amundsen agreed to House's requests, promising to call the pharmacy and have a couple prescriptions filled for him to pick up tomorrow morning. He doubted it would have been that easy had he not been a doctor and the two of them had not already spoken about this possibility in the future. Dr. Amundsen would of course require Cuddy to come in and see him or her regular physician at the latest by next week but for the present time he seemed more than willing to sign off on this, trusting House's judgment.

House sincerely hoped that the meds would do their job. He didn't know this Cuddy any more than he'd known the angry one and that worried him. House knew better than anyone that she'd suffered a lot in the last year. He just needed to know now that there was still a way for her to be restored to the old Cuddy. If not, he had to consider what that would mean for all of them.

-----

"_**I don't know you but I watch you**_

_**All the more for that**_

_**Words fall through me and always fool me**_

_**And I can't react**_

_**And games that never amount to more than they're meant**_

_**Will play themselves out**_

_**Take this sinking boat and point it home**_

_**We've still got time**_

_**Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice**_

_**You'll make it now**_

_**Falling slowly, eyes that know it**_

_**And I can't go back**_

_**And moods that take me and erase me**_

_**And I'm painted black**_

_**Well you have suffered enough and warred with yourself**_

_**It's time that you won**_

_**Take this sinking boat and point it home**_

_**We've still got time**_

_**Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice**_

_**You've made it now**_

_**Falling slowly, sing your melody**_

_**I'll sing along**_

_**Along**_

_**I'll pay the cost to play it**_

_**And you're gone"**_

* * *

Song: "Falling Slowly" (Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova)


	37. When Your Mind's Made Up

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(You're going to wish I'd smacked a little more sense into her, I'm afraid!)_

* * *

House knew he needed to tackle Rachel's possessions and do what he could to sterilize everything, but as she was sleeping for the first time for a solid block of hours, he really wanted to wait it out and focus on other things so that she wouldn't be disturbed. He set about searching through the cupboards, trying to decide what to make for Cuddy for lunch. Once he had some soup on the stove at medium heat he gave Wilson a quick call to check in on Evie and let him know briefly how both Rachel and Cuddy seemed to be doing. After he hung up House waited for the soup to be done before pouring her a bowl.

He made his way back to the bedroom with a tray, setting it down on the top of her bureau before turning to her. "You need to sit up, Cuddy. Time to eat."

She shook her head, clearly uninterested, but House wasn't going to take no for an answer. He made his way to the bed and then eased her out of her fetal position so that her legs were straight. Next he slid his arms around her, lifting her up until she was almost in a sitting position. It had been a long time since he'd had to do the job a nurse or one of his team typically did, but it didn't mean he'd forgotten how. "You are going to eat," he informed her, making it clear that he was not messing around.

"I'm not hungry," she told him, her eyes evading his.

He took hold of her chin and gently, though sternly, turned her face to his. "I'm not taking no for an answer Cuddy." When she tried to shake her head in refusal, he tossed out the only thing he could come up with to rationalize with her. "Rachel needs you to keep your strength up."

That seemed to do the trick though. When he got up and brought the tray over, setting it down on the space he'd cleared on her bedside table and then bringing the spoon to her lips, she opened her mouth and took it without further argument. He fed her until the bowl was empty.

"More?" he asked, willing to let her decide.

She shook her head no and he nodded. "Do you think you can sleep now?"

"I'm tired but I can't sleep," she finally explained, her head back on the pillows he'd piled up behind her once he'd gotten her to sit up.

"Alright," he accepted, not knowing what else to say.

"What happened to your nanny? And the lady who typically cleans for you?" House asked while he was thinking of it.

"I told the nanny she could take some time off once I got home from the hospital. And the cleaning lady's mother is dying of cancer so she's too busy taking care of her to clean houses," she replied quietly, her eyes closing. "I haven't replaced her yet."

He got up, taking the tray with him, but he stopped before he was out the door. "You should take a shower."

If she was insulted, she didn't show it. "I don't have the energy," Cuddy quietly murmured, not even looking his way.

It was clear to House that she was depressed and that she'd deteriorated, rather than improved. What concerned him was that she seemed so apathetic to everything. There was no fire in her at all. The fiery resolve was what had gotten her through the pregnancy, he thought now. Without it, he wasn't sure how she'd get through this too. "Get up. Take a shower," he said firmly. She didn't move from her spot on the bed and he rolled his eyes somewhat impatiently but decided to give her ten minutes to get in the bathroom before he'd force her to.

After dropping off the tray in the kitchen, he returned to the laundry room, throwing the first load into the dryer. Then he placed another load in the wash but made sure the water was set to cold so that there would be hot water for Cuddy in the bathroom. When he finally made his way back to her room he found her still in the same spot. He sighed wearily but he was committed now. House walked around the bed and wrapped his arms around her, picking her up as if she was just a kid while being careful to not put too much weight on his bad thigh. Cuddy didn't object, almost as if she was too out of it to really care what he did. Slowly making his way to Cuddy's private bathroom he pushed open the door with his back and then set her down on the closed toilet seat before stepping over to the tub and starting the water, checking the temperature. Finally he turned back to her. "Do you need help getting undressed?" he asked, somewhat uncomfortably.

She did not answer.

House gauged the water pressure, judging how long it would be before the tub was halfway full. He had a minute so he left her there, hoping when he came back she'd be in the tub already. He immediately went to the bed, stripping the sheets off along with the pillowcases. He'd hunt down a clean set once she was in the tub.

But when he returned, Cuddy hadn't moved. He silently stepped to the tub, turning the water off, and then he returned to her side, easing her sweatshirt over her head. He helped her to her feet before reaching for the sweatpants she was wearing, sliding them down her legs. The rest was a little too intimate after all they'd been through to bring them to the distance that now stood between them and it made him somewhat uneasy, but House reminded himself that he was a doctor, first and foremost, and he could do this. Without even looking at her, he reached behind her and unhooked her bra, removing it before easing her panties down her legs. Cuddy stepped out of them without hesitation and House steered her over to the tub, helping her in. He silently slipped a bar of soap into her hand. At some point he hoped it would just click and Cuddy would automatically take over. He picked up her clothes from the floor before heading back out to dump them in the hallway and locate her clean sheets.

House found the spare sheets, made the bed, and then carried her dirty sheets down the hallway to the laundry room along with the clothes she had been wearing before returning to Cuddy in the bathroom. The bar of soap had slipped out of her hand and was somewhere in the tub, though where exactly he had no clue, nor did he intend to search the now cloudy water for it. He pursed his lips, trying to figure out just what he wanted to do about this situation. For a moment he thought about calling in for a reinforcement but there was no time for that. It wasn't like he was going to make Cuddy sit in her bathtub while the water grew cold. And anyway, there was no reason why he couldn't do this himself. He inhaled and then unbuttoned the long-sleeve shirt he'd pulled on after his shower so that he was down to his t-shirt and his arms were free. Then he grabbed a stool from under the sink and set it next to the tub, sinking down on it before reaching for Cuddy's body wash. He worked up a lather of suds in his hands and reached for her, pushing her forward slightly so he could begin with her back. She made no objections, not reacting in any way at all. He worked the body wash into her shoulders and neck before massaging it into the skin of her back. Then he reached for her left arm and worked his way from her fingers to her armpit before switching to the other arm and repeating the process. The water was cooling quickly because he had been afraid of burning her by making it too hot in the beginning. He reached forward and into the tub, pulling the plug to release some water. Then he added more body wash to his hands and after hesitating a moment, just went with it and worked his way from her throat down to her belly, his eyes trained anywhere but upon her, being careful after she winced at his contact with her breasts. He realized they were probably still tender and wondered if her milk supply hadn't dried up by now. For most women who didn't end up breastfeeding, it happened within the first two weeks, but every once in a while it took longer than that. By the time he finished with her belly, enough water had drained out to replace the plug and add more. He opted to hold off a moment on adding some, reaching for her legs instead.

House poured out a little more body wash and then worked it from her toes and the balls of her feet up her calves and then around her knees before he focused on her thighs and the area in between. He was careful, especially because while he knew her stitches would have dissolved by now, he had no idea how tender she might still be. Cuddy never even moved, allowing him to do everything without argument. House was glad that no one else was here with them, not because there was anything sensual in what he was doing in bathing her but because it was still rather awkward and he'd rather not have to explain anything to anyone.

House sat back when he was done, mulling over in his head what he was going to do next. He sighed, making up his mind. He wasn't a woman but he supposed as a woman maybe little things mattered and Cuddy would feel better if her legs were shaved. It was obviously something she hadn't done in recent weeks and he doubted it was something she'd ever gone without doing for so long. He rinsed off what remained of the body wash from her legs with handfuls of the lukewarm water before reaching for her shaving cream. He could not remember having ever done this for anyone, not even Stacy, but he shook his head, clearing the thought from his mind before hitting the lever with a finger to release a dollop of shaving cream into his palm. Then he smoothed it on her right leg. Reaching for the razor, he clicked off the guard and then focused on what he was doing, his face screwing up in concentration, afraid of nicking her. He gently brought the razor from her ankle to her knee, little by little making his way around her calf and then up her leg to mid-thigh. When House was done with the right leg, he repositioned himself onto the side of the bathtub so as to make it easier to reach her left leg. Then he repeated the process until that leg was just as smooth. When he was content with the job he had done, he unplugged the tub completely to rinse away the hair and suds with the intention of refilling it with clean, hot water. The bar of soap bumped into his hand when all the dirty water washed away and he retrieved it before restoring the plug and watching Cuddy's face for any indication that the water now filling the bathtub was too hot for her comfort. When she just met his eyes with no reaction whatsoever he figured it was fine. It certainly wasn't hot enough to burn her.

He glanced around the bathroom and then got up to retrieve the drinking glass from beside the sink. It would be easier to dump water on her head than to try and support her somehow as he lowered her head into the tub. She wasn't Evie. Filling it he carefully poured it into her hair, trying hard to keep it from dribbling into her eyes. When her hair was thoroughly saturated with water he reached for her shampoo bottle. He could have done it quickly and just gotten it over with but for some reason he felt compelled to really work it into her scalp, not just because of the greasy buildup he had been able to detect once she was under the bathroom lighting but because he remembered just then how much better it had been as a kid when his mom washed his hair rather than making him do it. It was one among very few memories he had where he'd leaned into anyone's touch.

House worked the shampoo from her bangs to the nape of her neck, taking his time. Then he stood up to turn the water off before rinsing the shampoo out and starting again with her conditioner. When her hair was conditioner-free, he encouraged her to stand up, pulling the plug at the same time. He ended up having to help her. Once she was standing he adjusted the showerhead before turning the handles to force the water to come out from above rather than directly into the bathtub, rinsing any remaining soapy residue from her before noting that he'd failed to shave her armpits. He sighed but positioned her arms up into the air and reached for the razor, hastily completing that project as he was now uncomfortably close to her chest. He briefly wondered if he had ever considered over the years that this proximity could someday be something that made him leery. He hadn't.

Finally, he turned the water off.

"Let me grab you a towel," House said after a moment in which he detected the absence of any fresh towels in the bathroom. He headed back into the hallway, grabbing one from the closet before returning to her. He set about patting her skin dry, caught off guard when she spoke.

"My stomach's flabby," Cuddy said without emotion as he worked at drying off her legs. It was almost like she was apologizing because she thought she should.

He looked up at her face in confusion, noting the slight frown there and only through that realized that she'd been thinking about this, somehow internally bothered by it. Cuddy's attention centered on the mirror across from her which albeit foggy, still revealed a murky reflection. After a moment or two House transferred his eyes from her face to her belly, focusing his gaze on what she found unsatisfactory. As bizarre as it felt to do it he got to his feet and then tossed the towel over his shoulder before moving to her side slightly. He then traced a hand over her belly gently, stroking her soft, now clean skin.

"No, it isn't," House calmly told her, catching her eyes in the mirror across from them, his hand still spread across her belly. "I think you've lost all the weight already. You never gained much in the first place."

"There's no tone. It's just a blob," she corrected him.

In all the time he had known her, Cuddy had never indicated any sort of insecurities about her body to him. He wondered if maybe they weren't there all the same or if perhaps this was something the pregnancy had evoked. House shook his head. "That's just because those muscles haven't been exercised in a while. You know that. If you start working out again you'll have firm abs back in no time. And anyway, it's amazing that you made it thru everything without receiving a single stretch mark."

"That's not true," she automatically replied, turning towards him. "Just look at my breasts."

House couldn't believe they were having this conversation. Never in a million years would he have thought this would be part of the discussion of the day. Still, he brought his gaze to her breasts and for the first time that day he allowed himself to really look at them, noting that they remained swollen. After a moment of silence during which he felt Cuddy's eyes on his face, he finally brought his eyes back to hers with a quizzical expression. "Cuddy, have you even looked at your breasts lately?" he asked her then.

She shook her head slightly but said, "I don't need to. I can feel the stretch marks."

House had no idea what she meant by that. Hesitantly he brought his hands up to gently cup her breasts, weighing their firmness, tracing his hands along her skin, trying to figure out what she meant. It was weird and surreal but he was a doctor after all and he thought he shouldn't have as much of a problem with this as he was having.

Cuddy on the other hand had no problem with what he was doing. There was nothing sensual in his touch, though House doubted she would have noticed if there was. He closed his eyes and repeated the movement of his hands over her breasts blindly, slowly moving his fingers along. And then he thought he had it figured out and he opened his eyes to check where his fingers were. "Cuddy," he murmured, releasing his hands from her body in order to reach for one of her hands and bring it up to rest against her breast. "Is this what you are talking about?" he asked, stroking her finger down and across her breast.

When she nodded he again shook his head. "Cuddy, I want you to look at your breasts," House instructed then.

She shook her head adamantly. "I don't want to see it. I don't want to see the ugliness of it."

"Cuddy," he interrupted impatiently. "First of all, stretch marks are normal when your body has to change and accommodate another person growing inside you. You ought to know this. You are after all a doctor. But your so-called stretch marks are blue, Cuddy. And they aren't even stretch marks. They're just veins. Your breasts are still swollen from the aftereffects of your milk supply. That's the only reason you feel them at all. The blood's close to the surface, circulating through your system. It's completely normal and before you know it your milk supply will have completely dried up and your breasts will return to normal size. Then you won't feel them at all."

Cuddy's eyes warily dropped to where House had her finger poised against her skin. "Just veins, Cuddy," he repeated, vaguely annoyed.

She didn't say anything but when he released her hand and her finger moved along the vein, a puzzled expression remaining on her face, he figured she'd gotten the message. Since it was a little awkward now, this standing in her bathroom, not simply because of his leg but because she was completely naked in front of him, he grabbed the towel again, moving around her to squeeze some of the excess water from her hair before continuing to rub her back dry. Then he reached for her robe behind the door, but unsatisfied with its cleanliness, he wrapped the towel around her carefully instead, taking hold of her shoulders to steer her back into her room.

Cuddy sat down on the edge of her bed, the towel wrapped tightly around her. House moved towards her bureau, knowing where her clothes were from all the times he'd snooped in the past. He pulled out a pair of panties and a nightgown, knowing his goal now was to get her to fall asleep. If he couldn't accomplish that without meds, he'd come prepared to do it through the alternative. He helped her step into her panties without problem, sliding them up and under the towel. But when he went to pull the nightgown over her head, she balked.

"What's wrong?" he asked her, his eyebrows drawn together as the nightgown remained poised in the air above her head.

"I need some support," she said without further explanation.

"I'm pulling it over your head for you," he reminded her.

She shook her head. "No," she finally murmured. "They hurt. They're too heavy right now. I need support or it's painful."

House stared at her a moment and then realized what she was talking about. He dropped the nightgown on the bed and went back to her dresser drawers, searching for something supportive but comfortable enough to sleep in. He had no idea if she had ace bandages to wrap herself with so he searched for what she did have. "Will a sports bra work?" he asked then, glancing back at her. "Or is that too restrictive?"

"No, I just don't have any big enough right now," she murmured again. It was beginning to irritate House that she could answer and yet not really engage herself in what was happening.

House dug through her bras, looking for one without an underwire that might just be big enough. He almost smiled at the thought that if he'd been doing this even a year ago, he'd have taken his time, enjoying each one she had immensely. Almost smiled, anyway. Then his hand landed on something and he realized it was one of those shirt things with a built-in bra. It even had cups to it. Grabbing it, he brought it to Cuddy, pulling it over her head and then down before removing the towel completely from around her.

"Will that work?" House asked, scrutinizing his choice.

"I think so," Cuddy replied faintly.

House reached for the nightgown and this time had no problem pulling it over her head and down to mid-thigh. He eyed her for a moment and then went back into the bathroom, returning after a minute of rummaging with her hairbrush and hairdryer in hand. Plugging it in the nearest socket, he pulled her to her feet and led her over to the side of the bed where the hairdryer was now plugged in. Once he had her settled on the bed, he sank down beside her, pushing himself up against the headboard before reaching for her and scooting her closer to him. When she was nestled between his knees, he grabbed her hairdryer and set it on the lowest setting, not wanting to be too loud in case he'd wake Rachel up. After her hair was dry he grabbed the brush and slowly worked it through her hair, counting out loud his strokes because he vaguely remembered being a boy and standing in his mother's bedroom doorway when his dad was out of town, watching her brush her hair while counting out a hundred strokes. For some odd reason the memory had stuck with him. It wasn't how he brushed his hair, but he wasn't a woman. And then again, he never brushed his hair anyway.

After the hundredth stroke, he set the brush aside. It was a little frizzy, he supposed, as Cuddy knew better than he did how to style her hair and probably put product in it to control that, but he shrugged, content with the job he'd done. Slipping out from behind her, he reached for several pillows he'd moved to the other side of the bed, piling them up behind her before gently applying pressure to her upper arms until she was reclined on the bed.

"I'm going to check on Rachel," he told her. "Why don't you try to get some sleep?"

She sighed but closed her eyes as instructed, not paying much attention when House tucked the blankets more securely around her.

House moved towards the door, closing the blinds along the way, but she called to him before he could slip out, once he'd already hit the light switch. "House?"

"Yeah, Cuddy?" he replied, pausing in the doorway.

"Do you hate me?" her soft voice came to him in the darkness.

He sighed but made his way back to the bed, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness so that he could make her face out.

Her eyes remained closed but she added, "You can, you know? I wouldn't blame you."

House stared at her, caught off guard. He didn't have to think about it to know his answer, but he was truly puzzled how he could have spent the last couple hours taking care of her and still have her ask him this. He reached out before he could stop himself, pressing the palm of one hand against her jaw and stroking her cheek softly with his thumb. "I don't hate you, Cuddy. I don't always like the things you do or the decisions you make, but I've never come close to genuinely hating you."

Her eyes opened then, meeting his. "I hate you, though," she said without any emotion to her words.

House's hand instantly stilled on her face but with all that was in him he kept it there. After several moments of silence during which neither one of them broke eye contact, he finally sighed and calmly replied, "I know."

Trying hard to cover just how deeply her words actually affected him, he sarcastically muttered, "But thanks for going easy on my feelings."

"You don't have feelings," she replied, her eyes closing then. "Neither one of us do."

He didn't care to argue with her. There was no point. House wasn't going to waste his breath even though he knew that was not true where either of them was concerned. The truth was he loved her still. He'd known that all along but especially in the moment when he'd walked into her room and tried to feel anything but love for her. Love was something he felt more deeply for her than she'd ever given him credit for or ever would. And even though he could believe she did honestly hate him, without a shadow of a doubt, he didn't believe that she was without feeling. Even hate required feeling something. Still, what would pointing that out really accomplish?

House dropped his hand from her cheek, getting to his feet. "Get some sleep," he said before walking out of the room.

He pulled the door shut behind him, standing there a moment, his head falling back against the door. House questioned why he was even here and why he would probably always come running, when the simple truth was that Cuddy didn't want him here. She didn't even have to summon him. He'd drop everything to come running almost the minute anyone said anything to indicate Cuddy needed his intercession, despite how pointless it seemed in the end. She wanted to run away. She wanted to hide. So if that was what Cuddy wanted, just who was he doing this for? Himself?

-----

"_**So, if you ever want something**_

_**And you call, call**_

_**Then I'll come running**_

_**To fight and I'll be at your door**_

_**When there's something worth running for**_

_**When your mind's made up**_

_**When your mind's made up**_

_**There's no point trying to change it**_

_**When your mind's made up**_

_**When your mind's made up**_

_**There's no point trying to stop it**_

_**You see, you're just like everyone**_

_**When the shit falls all you want to do is run away**_

_**And hide all by yourself**_

_**When you're far from me**_

_**There's nothing else**_

_**When your mind's made up**_

_**When your mind's made up**_

_**There's no point trying to change it**_

_**When your mind's made up**_

_**When your mind's made up**_

_**There's no point even talking**_

_**When your mind's made up**_

_**When your mind's made up**_

_**There's no point trying to fight it**_

_**When your mind, your mind, oh**_

_**There's no point trying to change it**_

_**When your…oh**_

_**So if**_

_**If you ever want something**_

_**And you call, call**_

_**Then I'll come running"**_

* * *

Song: "When Your Mind's Made Up" (Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova)


	38. Lies

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Not many reviews... :( People getting tired of this story? It's kind of fun to play with House as "caregiver," especially as I can't picture him in this role for anyone else (exception: Evie). Well, maybe Wilson. But otherwise, I think he'd only do this because it's Cuddy and the situation is desperate. Alright, time to call Evelyn Cuddy in. Enjoy!)_

* * *

House sighed, unbelievably frustrated. He needed just one proof that being here was worthwhile; one reason to justify his compulsion to come running over here today; one explanation that this wasn't all just a waste of time and energy.

After a minute he rubbed his face and then caught sight of Rachel, peeking out of her doorway at him. He moved towards her, his expression softening from a moment before. He supposed his reason had arrived in bodily form. And for that matter, he had another one at home.

"Hey kid," he greeted her softly, not wanting to scare her as it had been several months since they'd last been around each other at all. "You hungry?" he asked, scooping her up when she came out and towards him without hesitation.

Rachel nodded, burying her face against his shoulder, her brown wavy mass of hair a tangled mess, whether from sleep or neglect, he didn't know and didn't really want to know. House tried to remember what he'd found in Cuddy's kitchen cupboards that might catch Rachel's interest. "Do you want soup?" he inquired, remembering there was still more on the stove. But Rachel did not answer as he limped his way to the kitchen with her. He exhaled a breath, trying to think of what else there was. "Macaroni and cheese?" he asked then, remembering having seen a box or two somewhere in the cabinets.

Rachel nodded her head, her nose rubbing against his t-shirt in the process.

"You better not be getting snot on me," he gruffly scolded, though his fingers went to her armpits to tickle her at the same time, causing her to giggle and squirm in his arms. He smiled when she pulled back enough to look up at him, a soft smile on her lips and her fingers immediately going into the scruff on his face in wonder. He moved his face enough to cause it to rub against the palm of her hand, to which she wrinkled her nose.

House laughed and realized it felt good to laugh in the oppressive environment he'd suddenly returned to by coming to Cuddy today, setting Rachel on the counter now that they were actually in the kitchen. He reached up to the cabinet he thought he'd seen the macaroni and cheese in. "A-ha," he exclaimed, pulling a box out with one hand while keeping the other firmly fixed on Rachel as a precaution.

Once he had set the box on the counter next to her, he leaned back, looking down to inspect his t-shirt. There was nothing whatsoever on him but he still made a face. "Ewww! Girl germs!" House announced, pretending to wipe them off his shirt.

Rachel just looked at him with sleepy eyes, rubbing at them before yawning dramatically.

"I guess almost two year olds don't yet understand girl germs, huh?" he asked her then.

Rachel had no clue what he was talking about but she nodded happily anyway.

"I think someone's feeling better," House whispered softly, poking her belly before picking her back up from the counter to set her down in her booster seat at the table, making sure to strap her in. He felt her forehead once more but her temperature was completely gone. Grabbing a clean towel out of a drawer, he put some soap on it and washed her hands before turning to the tray, making sure to wipe it down good. "Alright kid, time to get cooking," he informed her seriously.

"Cookies?" Rachel asked hopefully.

He gave her a stern look, knitting his brows together and mock glaring at her from under them. She mimicked his facial expression, tilting her head down also to return the glare. "Cookies," she said again, louder and more demanding this time.

House laughed, amused by her antics. He bet she gave Cuddy a run for her money even when Cuddy was well. "Hmm, where would I find some cookies?" he asked out loud, not really expecting an answer.

"There!" she called out, and he turned around to find her actually pointing at a cookie jar he hadn't noticed when he'd first inspected the kitchen.

"Aren't you just a smartie pants," he said then, moving to the cookie jar to find the cookies Rachel wanted. Removing two of them, he returned to Rachel and extended them for her to take. Before he released them, he instructed, "Don't you go telling mommy about this!"

She nodded enthusiastically, tugging the cookies out of his hand before promptly shoving one in her mouth. House laughed, having a feeling that he wasn't the only person to sneak her cookies when Cuddy was unaware.

The cookies kept Rachel busy though and by the time she'd polished them off the macaroni and cheese was ready. House wondered if the cookies would have satiated her hunger and if she'd refuse to eat anything else, but the minute he set a small bowl of it in front of her, having cooled it off first, Rachel's fingers dug in, forgoing the spoon and shoveling macaroni and cheese into her mouth by the fistful.

"Good grief, you chowhound!" House exclaimed, watching her as macaroni and cheese quickly covered her face, some of it even getting tangled in her hair. "I suppose you needed a bath anyway," he finally groaned, his expression one of clear bafflement at how she could get messy so quickly.

He left her in the kitchen with a sippy cup of milk at hand, heading for her bedroom to strip the bed down and change her sheets too. He griped and complained about how low to the floor a toddler bed is but he managed to get the sheets off somehow without falling over. Next, House threw what was in the dryer in a basket and then the clothes in the washer into the dryer before starting another load, this time of blankets. Hearing the faint noise of something banging, he turned and quickly limped his way back into the kitchen, the noise growing louder the closer he got.

Turning the corner, he found Rachel happily banging her bowl against the tray of her booster seat, giggling at the expression on House's face.

"Yes, Your Highness?" he mocked, bowing to her as if she was royalty. "Are you trying to let me know you want more?"

"More!" she shouted. "More, more, more!" The bowl banged against the tray in unison.

"No need to be so demanding!" House declared, playfully stealing the bowl from her hand. "Women!" he huffed then, causing Rachel to exhale as he had, fluttering her bangs with her breath.

Noticing this, Rachel continued to exhale at intervals, making them move at will and then clapping for herself. House filled her bowl and set it back down in front of her, tweaking a lock of her hair. "Eat 'er all gone," he said then before observing that it was almost six o'clock and he was growing hungry himself. Turning back to the stove, he filled another bowl with soup before re-heating it in the microwave.

Once they were both done, House washed Rachel's face while she protested, before stripping her down to her diaper. "No way are you getting this goo on me!" he informed her, balling her clothes up and chucking them into the dirty clothes pile that remained in the laundry room as they passed on the way to the main bathroom.

House ran the water and then removed Rachel's soaking wet diaper before plopping her down in the water which only came up to her belly button so far. She squealed happily, batting at the water before turning her attention to House. "Toys?" she asked, her eyes beaming at him.

He glanced around the bathroom and then spotted the bag of bathtub toys. He turned the water off before reaching out for the bag, dumping them all into the bathtub with Rachel a moment later.

"Toys!" Rachel declared happily, splashing about as she collected them one by one, placing them in her lap before reaching for whichever one was closest to escaping her and floating away.

House reached for the bottle of baby wash, soaping Rachel up pretty much as he had Cuddy and then rinsing her off before cringing at the thought of washing her hair. But it had to be done so he made a game out of pouring water on her head and when it accidentally ran in her eyes he was surprised to find it didn't bother her at all.

"I'm impressed," he told her, nodding his amazement. Filling his hand with a bit of shampoo, he rubbed it into her hair, picked out some macaroni, and then dumped more water on her head to rinse it out. He let her play until he noticed that she was starting to get sleepy. Draining the tub, he left the toys scattered about and lifted her out, aware that she was just as slippery as Evie was when he bathed her.

House wrapped her in a towel, placing her on the toilet seat to brush out her hair. But now he was not so lucky. The minute the brush snagged on one of her tangles, Rachel began to squirm and whimper. House looked around for a solution and his attention was caught by a bottle of detangler. He sprayed it on her hair rather liberally and went back to work. This time Rachel sat patiently, allowing him to finish up, but when he reached for the hairdryer she pushed herself off the toilet and ran giggling from the room, the towel falling off her before she even reached the door.

House groaned and went after her, shoving the hairdryer back in the drawer he'd found it in to be safe, grabbing her towel on the way out. It was the kind that had a hoodie attached, though this was the first time House noticed that. He stalked from room to room, finally hearing giggles coming from under the dining room table. House got down on his knees, as uncomfortable as that was for him, and reached for her but Rachel squealed and dashed off again. House couldn't help but grin as her naked little butt turned the corner into the kitchen where he knew she'd be trapped with no way to escape.

House got back up, though he remained hunched down somewhat, his arms extended out with the towel, waving it as if he was approaching a bull and planned to attract it right to his red bullfighter's cape.

Rachel was in the corner, her eyes wide, watching him as he came closer and squirming happily.

"Mua-ha-ha!" House cried out in his evil laugh and Rachel instantly shrieked, practically jumping up and down.

At the last minute she scampered away, hoping to evade him. But House moved fast, wrapping her in the towel and throwing her over his shoulder once the hoodie was secured over her head. Rachel giggled as he headed back to her bedroom but she waited patiently as he put a new diaper on her and then dug out some warm pj's for her to wear.

"Story?" she asked then, pointing to her rocking chair and the books on the shelf unit beside it.

House pursed his lips, eyeing her through the narrowed slits of his eyes. After a moment in which Rachel pouted, he nodded, sinking into the chair and rubbing her head one last time with the towel before settling her against him and reaching for a book. By the time the book was read, Rachel had fallen asleep against him. He remembered then that he was probably supposed to brush her teeth, but he shrugged as it was too late to do anything about it now. Tucking her into her now clean bed he smoothed out the blanket over her, grabbing her towel from where it lay on the floor and hit the light after making sure that her nightlight was plugged in and the bulb not burnt out. He quietly closed the door almost all the way, leaving it open just a crack.

He heard the dryer buzz and retrieved that load, throwing it in another laundry basket he'd emptied out before throwing the sheets into the dryer and one last load into the wash. He thought of the load of dishes in the kitchen sink waiting for him and cringed, sorely tempted to just call a cleaning service and see if someone could do it for him. But then he remembered he should probably call Wilson again and so he headed to the living room to make that call, basket of clean clothes in hand.

Halfway through the phone call he thought he heard a toilet flush and so he went to check on Cuddy the minute he had hung up. Thankfully Wilson seemed to be managing just fine without him, though he did sound tired. He had asked about House's plans but House had told him he'd call him back in an hour or so and let him know one way or the other. A lot depended on Cuddy but House was positive he'd be spending the night just to monitor things. He just wasn't ready to tell Wilson that, especially if it meant another argument.

House dropped the laundry basket of now folded clothes in the hallway before entering Cuddy's room. She was lying back down on the bed when House entered and rather than turning on the main light he used the light from the hallway to make his way to her and then turned the bedside lamp on. "Did you sleep?" he asked then, noting that she didn't look any better than before, despite having been left on her own for the past two and a half hours.

She shook her head, the only acknowledgement she gave him that she'd heard him.

House sighed. "Want something to eat?" he inquired next before cajoling her with an offer. "There's leftover macaroni and cheese from Rachel or I could order Chinese or something."

"I'm not hungry," she informed him.

"Cuddy, you have to eat," House told her, making it clear that he would not take no for an answer.

"Just some soup then," she finally muttered, turning on her side and away from him.

House got up, rolling his eyes in irritation, but he walked out of the room and back to the kitchen. There really wasn't enough soup left for another bowl so he found another can and added it in, heating it up before bringing Cuddy some.

She sat up when he prodded her gently and once again allowed him to feed her.

When the bowl was empty, House could not keep himself from asking her a question that had been on his mind for some time now. "Do you still love Lucas?"

Cuddy did not even look at him. "I don't love anyone," she said after a moment.

"You love Rachel," he corrected. But Cuddy shook her head.

House stared at her, not realizing he was holding his breath. "You love Rachel, Cuddy," he repeated, this time with an edge to his words.

Cuddy met his gaze then. "No. I don't love anyone anymore, House. I think…I think you should take Rachel home with you and just leave me here."

"Cuddy," he admonished in irritation. "What are you talking about?"

"I just can't do it anymore. I can't do any of it," she announced simply.

"You don't mean that," House told her, setting her empty bowl on the nightstand to reach for her and take her firmly by the arms. "That's not what you want, Cuddy."

"Take her House," she murmured, and more than anything he wanted to shake her. That or slap some sense back into her. Anger boiled up within him at her for even saying such a thing, the idea of casting off another child as if she did not matter at all either, just sending him right to the edge, and he realized then that in all the time he'd known Cuddy, he'd never wanted to slap her as he did right now. Instead he inhaled and then released his breath, closing his eyes until he had control of himself.

"You need to sleep, Cuddy," he finally said, releasing her arms, his expression grim when he saw slight pink marks on her arms from where he'd been applying pressure without his knowledge of it. They were gradually fading so he comforted himself with that thought before shoving off the bed, taking the bowl with him.

When House reached the end of the hallway he set the bowl down before reaching for his coat. He felt his pockets until he found the syringe he had brought along. He hoped knocking her out for eight hours would help her get at least some of the sleep she needed. But he knew now that once she was out, he'd be on his phone, calling her mother. He couldn't do this. He just couldn't. And he wasn't about to watch Rachel be abandoned as well. House just hoped sleep would bring her to her senses.

He returned to the bedroom a minute later, syringe and medicine in hand. "I'm going to inject you with some medicine to get you to sleep, Cuddy," he informed her, not wanting to do this without her knowledge.

She nodded, eyeing the syringe with what he thought resembled a mixture of relief and invitation. House couldn't blame her when his own insomnia at times also brought him to the brink of thinking he was going to go crazy. Maybe that was a huge contributing factor in Cuddy's depression. Lack of sleep could seriously impair someone's ability to reason.

House uncapped the safety from the syringe, opened the medicine bottle, filled the syringe, tapped it, and then expelled a little stream of fluid, making sure all the air bubbles were out before he reached for her and swabbed her skin with the wipe he'd brought along. Next he poked the needle into her, pressing on the plunger until the syringe was empty, slowly removing it.

"Stay with me?" Cuddy asked him a few minutes later, sleep already tugging at her eyelids. The question was an insane one in some ways, especially after she'd already declared how she felt about him. But he dismissed that from his mind. It wasn't like he intended to leave her house. He'd have to monitor her now.

House nodded, knowing even if he had said no there was nothing she could do about it. He went around to the other side of the bed and sank onto it, scooting over before he pulled her into his arms. By the time he had Cuddy settled against him, she was out. House sighed, allowing his head to fall back against the headboard, his back supported by the mound of pillows Cuddy kept on her bed. He was suddenly weary himself but he had no intention of sleeping right now, nor would his mind have allowed him to if he had tried.

When he realized a half hour later that his leg had fallen asleep and he had to use the bathroom, House removed his hand from where it lay stroking her hair, and his other arm from around her belly. Then he turned her gently until he could lay her down on the bed, slipping out from under her.

Once the feeling had been restored to his leg he pushed himself to his feet and headed for the bathroom to pee. He flushed when he was done, washing his hands before heading out and down the hallway.

His first order of business was to call Evelyn. He figured it would make things easier with Wilson if he could show him that he didn't intend to be the one to bring Cuddy back to the land of the living but had talked someone else into showing up within 24 hours.

House dialed her number from Cuddy's house phone, having found it posted in the kitchen. It rang only twice before Evelyn picked up. "Lisa?" she asked breathlessly, her tone indicating that she was relieved to be hearing from her.

House frowned but corrected her assumption. "No, Evelyn. It's House."

"Greg? What's going on? Why are you calling from Lisa's? Is she there? Is she alright?" Cuddy's mother asked, not pausing between questions.

"Whoa. Take a deep breath, Evelyn. Cuddy's fine. I mean, she's sleeping," he amended.

"But it's only 9," Evelyn protested in concern.

"I had to put her out," House admitted then.

"You had to put her out?" she repeated, not understanding.

"I gave her medicine to knock her out. She's…well, she hasn't been able to sleep lately. Rachel's been really sick the last few days and someone called me this morning, concerned about Cuddy because she brought Rachel to the ER in the middle of the night and neither one of them looked very good," he said softly, trying to ease Evelyn's red flags enough to be sure that she was really listening to what he was telling her.

"Are they okay?" she pressed, sensing as only a mother could that he wasn't telling her everything.

"Rachel's fine," he reassured. "She had food poisoning and they put her on an IV to raise her fluid level and then gave her something to stop the vomiting and diarrhea. Cuddy was able to bring her home once she was doing better. I got to the house around noon and Rachel was sound asleep, her fever gone. She woke up a few hours back and seemed happy-go-lucky. Her appetite was good and after she ate and had a bath, she was out again. Cuddy said she hasn't been sleeping for more than an hour or two at a time the last couple of days. I think she'll sleep straight through the night now. I imagine she was just starving from being unable to keep anything down up until now. Rachel will be fine."

"Greg," Evelyn began then, "Why were you the one taking care of Rachel today? Where was Lisa?" House could just hear her relief being replaced by worry with each word she spoke. "I mean, Greg, my daughter has refused to take my calls for the last month! I haven't seen her since…shortly after New Year's. I keep asking to come for a visit, but each time I ask she comes up with another excuse as to why now is not a good time. What is going on, Greg?! You have to tell me! I thought I was about to go crazy. I was just a moment away from getting in the car and coming down there to see for myself. If you hadn't called, I think by Monday I'd be there."

House sighed. "Evelyn, Cuddy needs you to come," he finally just came out and told her.

"I can get in the car right now," she told him after exhaling a breath. "Richard's not home yet. He's out with the guys. But I can leave him a note. I can be there by four in the morning."

"Wait! Wait!" he interrupted. "Not so fast. Cuddy's knocked out for the night and I'm not going anywhere. Really, it'd be best if you tried to get some sleep tonight and then made the drive first thing in the morning," House instructed, trying to take charge before Evelyn could hang up. He knew regardless of whether or not her opinion would make any difference at all, he owed it to Cuddy to at least give her a head's up here. He was 50/50 on whether the news would piss her off or whether she'd just calmly accept it as she seemed to be in the mode of doing. Frankly, he was hoping for the pissed off Cuddy. Somehow that seemed easier to deal with and would give him some peace of mind regarding whether or not she could still come back from this, whatever "this" was.

Following a moment of silence, Cuddy's mom said, "Greg, you are going to have to give me a reason why I shouldn't walk out that door right now."

"Okay, I will," he agreed resignedly, "But calm down a minute. I need to gather my thoughts and figure out how to explain this. It's…complicated."

"I don't care if it's complicated. I don't care if it takes all night. Explain it to me," she demanded and House smiled bemusedly, seeing a flare of the Cuddy he used to know in her mother.

House had no intention of telling her everything over the phone so his brain immediately went into overdrive, trying to figure out how to give her just enough information to keep her from rushing over here without giving her too little and raising her suspicions. "Okay," he began, taking a deep breath before commencing. "Do you remember how Cuddy was in the days after Lucas broke off the engagement?" he asked, more to bring her mind back to that day than because he questioned her ability to remember.

"Yes," she answered quickly, wanting him to get on with it.

"Well, as you probably know then, he ended it and disappeared. Cuddy had a hard time accepting that it was over," House said.

Evelyn nodded but of course, House could not see her. Realizing this, she encouraged him to continue. "Go on."

"There were times at work when I'd come across her leaving messages on Lucas's voicemail, pleading with him to come back. I think he finally cancelled his phone and then Cuddy just lost it." House knew he was fudging a little in leaving out a lot of important details, but he saw no other way to go about this.

"What do you mean, she lost it?" Evelyn queried, and House could just picture her nervously worrying her lip like Cuddy sometimes did.

"Do you know how sometimes people experience traumas and then suffer from some kind of post-traumatic stress disorder?" he inquired.

"You're saying Lucas's disappearance and the end of her engagement had that kind of effect on Lisa?" Evelyn clarified.

"Basically," House muttered. Lying to Evelyn was like lying to his mother. Something he could only accomplish on the phone, and even then it was only by the skin of his teeth that he ever pulled it off. He strove onward, hoping she'd overlook his somewhat wavering tone. "Cuddy grew more and more depressed. I think she hung in there for a long time because she had her work and Rachel to pull her through, but…"

"But what?" Evelyn queried.

"But I think she's reached a point now that she's never been at before. I'm not sure how much of it is Rachel's illness or the lack of sleep Cuddy's been suffering from. All I know is this isn't the Cuddy I used to know. And…it worries me," House concluded.

"This doesn't make sense to me," Evelyn replied then, confused. "I mean, I understand that she's been struggling with depression, I can even understand how it could get so out of control, but what I don't get is, if you knew this, why are you only calling me now, Greg?"

He grimaced, knowing he had to tread carefully here or he'd send up a red flag. "Well, when everything fell apart for Cuddy, she… She blamed me. I was the fall guy," he informed her finally. "And I was at fault. At least, I was to blame for my fair share of it."

House paused, taking a moment, but continued when Evelyn just waited for him to go on. "Things between Cuddy and I went from bad to worse. It wasn't just affecting us. There were other people at the hospital who were involved in one way or another. Things at work became complicated. Eventually she asked me to seek employment elsewhere and I agreed. I walked out of Cuddy's life because that was what she wanted and because honestly, I knew it was time for me to do that. But someone from work called me this morning, as I told you, informing me of Cuddy's continued deterioration, and so I stopped by to check in."

"How did Lisa react when you showed up at her door?" Evelyn asked, bewildered by all that he was telling her.

"Not as I expected," he honestly told her. "She allowed me to take care of her but I really wasn't getting much of a response from her. I managed to talk her into eating some soup and bathing but other than to use the bathroom she hasn't left her bed since I got here."

"Did you tell her you were going to call me?" Evelyn questioned him after a moment.

"No," he openly disclosed. "And either she won't care one way or the other, or she'll pitch a fit when I tell her tomorrow. Honestly, I'm hoping she'll be angry. Right now, any reaction would be better than no reaction."

She sighed and then quietly asked him one more question. "What made you call me?"

House expelled his breath and then decided to be somewhat straight-forward with this one. "I asked Cuddy tonight if she still loved Lucas. Maybe it's a dumb question but I needed to know. And instead of saying she did, she told me that she doesn't love anyone anymore." He waited a moment, letting that sink in before he continued. "I reminded her that her statement wasn't true because she loves Rachel. But her response didn't sit well with me. She said she didn't. And I could tell she really believed that. Cuddy asked me to take Rachel home with me. She said she couldn't do it anymore. That she didn't want to. And ultimately," House said, his voice conveying how hearing that had wounded him, "that's why I called. Evelyn, I'm not sure I could bring Cuddy back from this, even if I put my all into it. But I'll be damned if I let her walk away from this little girl. Cuddy's the only mother Rachel's ever known. And she doesn't deserve to lose another mother."

Evelyn was quiet for a moment, though House thought he could make out the sound of her ragged breathing on the other end. After a couple minutes had passed, she murmured, "I'll wait for Richard to get home and talk this over with him. But I intend to leave by five in the morning. I should be there by noon. And I'll stay as long as I'm needed."

"Thank you Evelyn," House told her, relieved despite having known she would come. "But I need you to do me a favor," he continued.

"Okay," she replied, waiting for him to name it.

"Let me give you my address. I think I'd rather you swing by my house before you come here. I'll leave here sometime in the morning and be home by noon," he said next.

"Why? Why wouldn't I just go straight to Lisa's? I mean, if she needs me, why would I make a detour rather than going straight over?" Evelyn asked, clearly intending to deny his request now that she'd heard it.

"Because I need to let Cuddy know you are coming," House told her, his voice stern. "And then she's probably going to send me packing and I will take Rachel with me, simply because I can't leave her alone with Cuddy when she's this out of it. She's not capable of taking care of herself right now, let alone her daughter. And she's made it clear that she doesn't really wish to, though I think if she had no other choice she probably would do it anyway. Still, I'm not going to risk it. So you can pick her up at my place and then come here. But I'm also asking you to do this for me because I spoke with Cuddy's doctor today and he's agreed to fill a couple partial prescriptions for her; one for her depression and another to help her sleep, should she continue to suffer from insomnia. He'll want her to come in this next week and you'll probably have to force her into going, but it's better that she see him sooner rather than later so that he can determine just how bad the situation is. And getting an accurate read on that will help all of us. So do you have a pen to take the address down?" he finished, hoping he'd said enough to convince her.

"Read it off to me," Evelyn finally replied.

A few minutes later he hung up, sighing heavily before going down to check in briefly on Rachel and then limping his way to Cuddy's bedside. He sank down on the bed next to her, reaching out to brush her hair out of her face. He thought of what she'd said and how she'd told him that she didn't even love Rachel anymore. House knew he had lied to Evelyn, if only by withholding information from her. And as rare as it was for this to be true, that did bother him. He could excuse it but it did. What made it a little easier was knowing he had every intention of filling her in tomorrow.

But House seriously hoped that Cuddy was the bigger liar of the two of them. Because if she truly meant what she'd said and stuck to this decision of hers to be done with motherhood completely, House would take Rachel but he wasn't sure he could deal with Cuddy anymore. And he didn't have the first clue as to how anyone would talk some sense into her.

The cracks were escalating and it was only a matter of time before everything shattered, especially at the rate Cuddy was deteriorating. He frowned, suddenly afraid it had indeed gotten to the point of having to seriously ask himself whether she'd do harm to herself. He didn't want to have to ask. But he'd do it, if that's what things came to in the morning. At the same time, Evelyn had to come. Because House needed someone else to step in and free him to save himself from going any deeper into the depths of this sinkhole.

He got to his feet, knowing he shouldn't put off calling Wilson any longer. He glanced once more in Cuddy's direction before shaking his head and going back to the living room to make the call.

-----

"_**I think it's time we give it up**_

_**And figure out what's stopping us**_

_**From breathing easy and talking straight**_

_**The way is clear if you're ready now**_

_**The volunteer is slowing down**_

_**And taking time to save himself**_

_**The little cracks, they escalated**_

_**Before we knew it was too late**_

_**For making circles and telling lies**_

_**You're moving too fast for me and**_

_**I can't keep up with you**_

_**Maybe if you'd slow down for me**_

_**I can see you're only telling lies, lies, lies**_

_**Breaking us down with your lies, lies, lies**_

_**When will you learn?**_

_**The little cracks, they escalated**_

_**Before we knew it was too late**_

_**For making circles and telling lies**_

_**You're moving too fast for me and**_

_**I can't keep up with you**_

_**Maybe if you'd slow down for me**_

_**I can see you're only telling lies, lies, lies**_

_**Breaking us down with your lies, lies, lies**_

_**When will you learn?**_

_**So plant the thought**_

_**And watch it grow**_

_**Wind it up**_

_**And let it go"**_

* * *

Song: "Lies" (Glen Hansard)


	39. The Chain

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Okay! I'm giving you two chapters today! But don't get used to it because I'm getting too close to where I am in the story! Hope you enjoy!!!!!!!)_

* * *

House hit the talk button on his cell phone, ringing Wilson. He figured he'd work on cleaning up the living room as he talked. He hated cleaning but if Evie ended up having a bad night and Wilson had to bring her here, he wanted this room to be sterile. He also had to do something about Rachel's toys, just in case another bout of rotavirus was possible.

"Hey House," Wilson answered when he picked up the phone.

"Hey," House replied, rubbing a hand over his face.

"What's the latest?" Wilson asked next, having just finished giving Evie her bottle and in the process of burping her.

"Rachel's asleep for the night I think. By tomorrow, I'd bet she'll be back to normal," he began before walking into the kitchen to retrieve the garbage can and cut down on trips, thereby making things easier for himself.

"And Cuddy?" Wilson asked then, his voice somber.

House sighed. "I don't know Wilson. Right now she's sleeping because I… drugged her. But it will give her at least one good night of sleep. She's not herself, whatever being herself would mean nowadays. She's not angry like before. She's not anything. She'll answer my questions, but her responses are flat and devoid of emotion. She admitted that she hasn't slept in the past few days and that even before that she was only sleeping a few hours a night at best. I'm sure that's part of the problem. But she's definitely depressed. She said she cries a lot but she was pretty apathetic when I spoke to her. She's not functioning. Her coping skills are nonexistent. I called her mother. She'll be here tomorrow. I asked her to meet me at my place around noon. Cuddy's going to need help for a while. I talked to her doctor and he's going to fill a prescription for something to help her sleep more regularly. And we're going to try out some anti-depressants too. I'll pick them up in the morning and hand them over to Evelyn when she arrives."

"Why not just have her go right to Cuddy's? I assume you're spending the night to keep an eye on her. Wouldn't it just be easier to have Evelyn come there?" Wilson suggested.

"Maybe," House agreed, "but I managed to get through the conversation without mentioning Evie. And I have to tell her at some point. I'm not going to do that here with Cuddy so close. And anyway, I doubt Cuddy will be happy to find out I've called in her mother. She'll probably send me packing when I tell her that her mom's on her way. At least, I hope she does. Because she's been independent for years and I've always thought she dislikes being coddled almost as much as I do. She took it from me today but I think part of that is she's too exhausted to fight. She was completely indifferent. But if she's still like that when I tell her that her mother is coming for the long haul, I'm going to be doubly concerned."

"Did she say anything about Evie?" Wilson probed then, having been more than a little worried she would. If Cuddy changed her mind and wanted the baby back, that would kill House. And that was one of the concerns that scared Wilson most about House reentering the situation.

House raked a hand through his hair before he sank onto the couch. "No. But she told me to take Rachel. And she didn't mean for a few hours."

"She wants to give Rachel to you?" he asked in shock. "Seriously?!"

House closed his eyes for a moment and then reopened them. "I'm telling you, she's at the end of her rope. I… I think tomorrow I'm going to have to ask her if she needs to be put on a suicide watch."

Wilson expelled a breath. "House, you are in too deep," he muttered finally.

"I've always been in over my head when it comes to Cuddy," he answered sarcastically, knowing whether things were good or bad between them, it had always been true. "Relax, Wilson. The cavalry has been called in and arrives tomorrow."

"You think Evelyn will be able to handle this?" Wilson inquired in concern.

House dropped his head back against the cushions. "I think she will. I hope she will, anyway. She's definitely bound to be easier to deal with than my mother, given the circumstances. Cuddy's lucky to have her."

A moment of silence descended between them until House spoke up next. "How's George?"

"She's sleeping for now," Wilson answered, a smile tugging on his lips as he shook his head and rolled his eyes before stroking the back of the baby's head where it rested against his arm. "She just had her bottle. I imagine she's out so I should probably go put her in her crib. Maybe I'll get some sleep while I can. I'm really surprised she's survived this long without you."

"Probably a good idea. But Wilson," House added. "If she wakes up and gets all freaky you can bring her over. I should have this house somewhat germ-free in the next hour or two. I'm going to call in a maid in the morning, to do what I don't get around to. And because I figure I can pay extra for one to keep an eye on Cuddy until her mom arrives. Don't feel like you're stuck if my kid shows signs of a rough night ahead."

"Alright. I'll give you a call if I need to drop her off."

"Night, Wilson," House replied wearily.

"Night," Wilson responded before hanging up.

House hung up the phone and looked around the room before sighing. He frowned, inspecting the carpet. He wasn't going to risk waking Rachel up but after a quick search, he found a cheap push vacuum and dragged it out, getting what he could. Glancing around again, he decided the room was picked up but that it was now time to hose the place down with germ-killer. He went into the kitchen and dug through her supply closet, looking for a product that wouldn't be overwhelmingly strong and safe for children to be around. Thankfully, Cuddy was well-stocked. He sprayed down the living room and then went into the kitchen, loading the dishwasher and hitting the button to start it up before tackling whatever was left. He wiped the table and countertop down with cleanser before he swept, following it up by using a cleaning agent and a mop to tackle the floor, and even using glass cleaner to get the windows. Once he was satisfied with the kitchen he contemplated cleaning the bathrooms. Nope. Evie wouldn't be in there and someone else could do that. He didn't even do his own, let alone anyone else's.

House next retrieved all the clean laundry from the laundry room and carried it into the living room to fold everything up. He was sure that if Cuddy could see him and was in her right state she'd find his methods of folding inadequate. Needless to say, House didn't really care. All he wanted was to get the job done. He set a full basket of Rachel's things on the couch to put away in the morning but he carried Cuddy's things down to her room, putting them where they belonged. Then he put the sheets and towels back in the hall closet where they were kept before sighing, trying to remember what else he had intended to get done before turning in for the night.

He was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. Yet when he looked at the clock he decided it might not be so much because of the hour but due to the physical and emotional exhaustion of the day. He walked into the kitchen to get a drink and spotted the two trash bags he'd placed by the back door. Grabbing another bag, he went through the house, emptying any trash cans he found. His last stop was Rachel's room and he pulled the Diaper Genie out into the hallway, closing the door to block out the noise of the garbage bag being pulled free. House couldn't believe the stench and how packed it was. He was glad he'd removed it to the hallway before opening it because he instantly began to gag. When was the last time Cuddy had emptied this?! He carried the bag out, holding it an arm's length away from his body until he arrived at the trash receptacles. That was repulsive, he thought as he walked away, feeling like he needed a shower to get rid of the smell. One thing he knew now, that Diaper Genie could really contain bad odor.

House carried out the remaining trash bags before going back for the Diaper Genie, which he hosed out in the bathroom and then sprayed a quarter bottle of air freshener within before locating a bag. Restoring the lid he quietly returned it to Rachel's room. House left the door cracked open, afraid he might not hear her, and then headed for the bathroom to take a shower, cell phone in hand. When he came out he was wearing his boxers, uninterested in sleeping in his dirty clothes after all that cleaning. He toweled his hair before hanging the towel back up and using Cuddy's toothbrush to brush his teeth. He knew she'd be disgusted if she knew, but at this point he didn't care. In fact, it amused him as nothing else had that day.

Now the question was, where would he sleep? He could crash in the living room but that seemed awful far away if something went wrong with either Rachel or Cuddy. House shrugged, making up his mind. He hoped Cuddy would sleep through the night because he had a feeling she wouldn't appreciate waking up with him in her bed. Then again she had asked him to stay with her, he reminded himself. Hitting the lights, he retrieved his phone from the bathroom countertop, setting it to vibrate before walking into Cuddy's room. He opened the shades now that it was dark out, just enough to allow in some moonlight to see the bed by once the lights were off. Then he turned off the lamp and crossed the room, sliding in under the cool sheets. He adjusted the comforter and the pillows beneath his head before turning to look at Cuddy. She was faced away from him but he could see her chest rising and falling so he wasn't worried about her. He exhaled a breath and then scooted over, his side of the bed too cold for his comfort. Why she had to keep the house so cool was beyond him. He slowly lifted her up, carefully easing her back down so that her head was on his chest, her body directly to his side. She sighed, her arm slipping around him to rest on his ribcage. House's eyes drifted closed then, quickly sinking into a deep sleep.

* * *

House's phone went off at 5 a.m. and he reached for it, quickly putting an end to its vibrations by flipping it open. "Give me a sec," he whispered before he eased himself free of Cuddy.

Stepping out into the hallway, he mumbled a sleepy, "Yeah?"

"Evie woke up an hour ago and I just can't get her back to sleep," Wilson said tiredly. "I changed her. I tried a bottle. I rocked her. Nothing works. I think this is her 'I need dad' cry."

"Alright. Bring her over," House told him, now able to hear his daughter crying in the background. "The extra car seat is in the garage and her diaper bag should have everything she'll need in it. But check and make sure the formula is in there, along with a spare bottle and some diapers."

"Got it," Wilson acknowledged, genuinely relieved. "Anything else?"

"Could you grab my black nylon bag from the front closet? I think I have a change of clothes in there," House asked, his head fuzzy but his body cold enough to remind him that he needed some clean clothes.

"Yep. I'll be there in half an hour," Wilson informed him.

House nodded, not awake enough to realize Wilson wouldn't see the action. But there was a dial tone then and so he hung up before grumpily going to the thermostat to turn it up a few degrees. He went to the bathroom and afterwards grabbed a blanket from the closet, wrapping it around himself and opting to sit on the couch while he waited for Wilson to show up.

He must have dozed off because he was out of it when someone started knocking at the door. Getting up, he slowly made his way there, opening it to find an apologetic Wilson cradling a now asleep Evie.

"She fell asleep halfway here," he explained, passing her to House.

House yawned but took her, rolling his neck to loosen the tight muscles there before he brought her to his chest.

"Nice attire," Wilson said wryly, setting Evie's diaper bag and House's own bag down in the hall.

"Shut up and go home," House said grumpily.

Wilson chuckled softly but nodded, heading for the door to get some more sleep. "Do you need the car seat or can I just leave it in my car for now?"

"That's fine. I'll grab it from you later," he replied, waving him off, now busy taking Evie out of her wrap. "I have mine and I'll retrieve Cuddy's from her car in the morning."

"Okay. Night House," Wilson said from the doorway.

"Thanks Wilson. For watching her," House replied, glancing up at him.

Wilson looked down the hallway in the direction of Cuddy's room but shrugged. "No problem."

A few seconds later the front door closed. House lifted Evie out and then sank down on the couch with her on his chest, wrapping the blanket back around them. If she was going to sleep, he wasn't going to miss out on the opportunity to do the same.

* * *

House woke up at seven to find a sleepy Rachel beside him. "Morning, squirt," he greeted groggily.

She just stared at him, her eyes blinking slowly as if she wasn't quite awake yet either.

House reached up to rub at his eyes, the other hand remaining wrapped securely around Evie. Then he gingerly sat up before spreading the blanket over the couch cushion and gently laying Evie down before bringing the blanket back up to cover her.

He yawned but got to his feet, picking Rachel up to take her back down to her room and change her. Content to find her temperature still within normal range, he changed her diaper and slipped her warm pajamas back on before carrying her down to the kitchen. He couldn't believe he was now officially Mr. Mom. It had been bad enough with just one kid but now he had two to take care of. Change that. He pretty much had three if he counted Cuddy.

He searched through the cupboards and finally found some cheerios. That would have to do he decided, pouring them out onto the tray for her. Next he filled a clean sippy from the dishwasher with milk, passing it to her.

"Consider that cereal, kid," he mumbled, ruffling her hair before unloading everything else. When she was done, he cleaned the tray and sleepily scratched the back of his head before removing her from her booster seat and carrying her back down to her bedroom, setting her down on the floor with some books. He grabbed an empty basket from the hallway and filled it with her plastic toys, deciding to run them through the dishwasher as it would sterilize them and save him the trouble of scrubbing each one. Once he had them together, he wiped down whatever toys he could that couldn't go through the dishwasher with disinfectant before heading out.

House glanced into Cuddy's room and content with finding her still asleep, returned to the living room with the basket of toys to check on Evie. He then went into the kitchen and filled the dishwasher before starting it and retrieving the basket of Rachel's clothes to put them away. Once the laundry basket was empty, he glanced around the room and wiped down anything he'd missed, including the furniture.

House took Rachel back out to the living room when he heard faint cries coming from that direction. He quickly picked up the baby, soothing her before he grabbed her diaper bag and changed her diaper, heading into the kitchen afterwards to fix her a bottle.

House was still in his boxers and he figured it was time to do something about that, though the house was now warm enough to not feel like he was freezing. He fed Evie her bottle and Rachel climbed up on the sofa to sit next to him, looking at the baby with interest. House smiled, settling Evie onto the couch next to Rachel. Reaching for her little hand, he fit it around Evie's bottle. "Here, Rach. It's time for you to learn the art of babysitting. Hold the bottle for me so I can get dressed."

Rachel nodded solemnly, clearly taking her job seriously, and House retrieved his bag from the front hallway, one eye on the two of them. Evie was hungrily sucking down the formula and Rachel sat there, her eyes wide, just watching the formula disappear from the bottle in her hand.

Once dressed, House sank back down beside them, taking over. "Good job, Rachel. You're a good helper, kid."

Rachel smiled shyly and then lay down next to Evie, her head beside the baby. When her eyes started to flutter closed, House knew she was going to fall asleep again. He reached towards her, stroking her back until she was out.

Evie finished the bottle a moment later, her lips continuing to suck even though she was sound asleep as well. He removed the bottle from her mouth and got to his feet, setting the bottle down on the table before reaching for his cell phone to take a quick shot of the two together, both in their pajamas. He would want Evie to at least have that one moment recorded for her. It was the first time she and Rachel had ever been under the same roof. Then he lifted Rachel up and carried her back down to her room before he checked on Cuddy briefly and looked at his watch.

It was almost 8:30 a.m. and so he tried to figure out what he wanted to do. Cuddy desperately needed groceries and he wasn't sure Evelyn would be able to go, with Rachel and Cuddy to take care of. But he wasn't really all that up to taking two babies to the grocery store either. Furthermore, he also had to figure out what to do about getting a maid or something. He deliberated and then came to a decision, reaching for his cell phone.

A minute later someone on the other end picked up. "Hey House," Cameron greeted. "How can I help you?"

"Wanna watch two little girls for me so that I can run to the grocery store?" he asked.

"Two little girls? You have Rachel too?" she asked, somewhat confused.

"Yeah. But I'm at Cuddy's," he informed her. "Wilson dropped Evie off here a couple hours ago. If you want to come over in an hour that would be great. You can move the two car seats to your car and take the girls back to my house. I'd be home by 11:30. Cuddy's mom is coming over to my place at noon."

"Oh. Uh, okay. That would be fine," she replied after a moment.

House didn't know what to make of her response. "If it's not a good time for you, Cameron, I can figure this out some other way."

"Oh! No," Cameron objected, cutting him off. "It's fine. I was just surprised. I mean, I know I called you and suggested that you ought to check in on Cuddy, but I didn't expect to hear you were over there and intended to take both girls back to your place."

"It's just until Cuddy's mom arrives," he explained, not wanting a lecture. "Then she'll bring Rachel back here with her."

"House," Cameron asked then, "Does Cuddy's mom even know about Evie?"

He sighed. "Nope. Not yet. But she's about to."

She fell silent for a moment but ultimately said, "Okay. I'll be over in an hour."

"See you then, Cameron," he replied at length, hanging up a moment later.

House next called around to several different cleaning agencies but had little success finding one that had someone answering phones on a Sunday morning and no success finding someone on short notice. He finally gave up, trying to come up with an alternative plan. And then he came up with one.

His first thought was just to hire a hooker to do it. He'd called on them for other jobs in the past, besides what they were usually employed to do. But in the end he decided against it, simply because he wasn't sure how a hooker would handle things with Cuddy if she turned nasty or tried to get rid of her. Then the solution hit him like a thunderbolt. He remembered that nurse that Cuddy had assigned to him the night following the bus accident; the one who had confiscated his phone in an attempt to force him into resting. He quickly called PPTH and called in a favor, getting someone to give him the home phone number of the nurse he was thinking of. Within fifteen minutes he had called her, explained what he wanted, negotiated pay, and had her promising to be there by ten o'clock sharp. He knew she knew Cuddy but he planned to have the girls out of the house before she could catch sight of Evie. He also trusted that she'd keep her mouth shut at work about anything Cuddy said or did, rather than gossip about her boss and later have to deal with Cuddy or House himself.

By 9:30 a.m. Cameron had arrived and was outside installing the two car seats House had set out there for her while House packed up some things for Rachel. The girls were ready to go, Rachel having gotten up at 9 a.m. from her nap and Evie still dozing, off and on. He put their things out on the steps before carrying Rachel outside and buckling her in. Cameron didn't ask about Cuddy and she seemed content to wait with Rachel while House went back in for Evie. He watched them drive off at 9:45 a.m., relief sweeping over him to have that part checked off his To Do list.

He checked on Cuddy once again, finding her in a different position than before but still asleep. He was relieved that she'd slept right through Evie's visit to the house. Once he was satisfied with seeing Cuddy asleep he headed back out to the living room to keep an eye out for the nurse.

When she arrived promptly at 10 a.m., he opened the door for her, once again explained what he'd ask of her regarding Cuddy, which basically required only that she keep an eye on her and call him if Cuddy became a problem, and then turned over a list of the household chores that needed to be done. He showed her where to find what she needed and watched her head off to clean the main bathroom first, content for once to deal with the woman who clearly had a take charge attitude but was now answering to him, rather than controlling him. Then he sighed before going to Cuddy's bedroom, knowing the time had come.

House shut the door behind him to minimize whatever the nurse might overhear and went over to the bed, sinking down next to Cuddy after placing his phone on the nightstand. There was no way the meds he had given her the night before could have been responsible for keeping her out this long, which in itself was a good thing because it reassured him that once she was out, she did have the ability to sleep. He reached for her and gently shook her shoulder until her eyes slowly blinked open and focused on him.

"Cuddy, I'm sorry to wake you up, but I have to go and I need to tell you a few things," he began somberly.

She stared at him, disoriented, but after a moment he thought she was awake enough to hear what he had to say. "I've got a nurse here cleaning. I've already paid her and I've asked her to keep an eye on you for a few hours while she cleans. But I've called your mom and she'll be here sometime this afternoon."

That was all it took. Or maybe it was the combination of that and sleep. In that moment something inside Cuddy snapped into place and she jerked upright, silently fuming, albeit holding her head like she had a headache, though maybe she just had a head rush.

House got to his feet watching her warily but he really was comforted by her anger.

"You had no right!" she finally muttered, her teeth clenched, tone sharp, and eyes glaring. "You had no right to bring my mother into this!"

House shrugged, shaking his head. "And what would you have preferred me to do, Cuddy?" he asked non-confrontationally, his voice reflecting just how tired he was.

"You should have just butted out!" she replied, clearly pissed.

"And left Rachel with you? When you yourself said you couldn't do this anymore?" he quietly asked, not wanting her to get too worked up.

"I asked you to take her with you!" she lashed back.

House rubbed his face with his hands before shaking his head and saying, "Cuddy, you need your mom. I can't stay and take care of you. And I can't let you throw everything you have worked for away, just because you're going through a tough time."

Cuddy grabbed the first thing she could reach off her nightstand, chucking it at him. The brush hit him square in the chest and he swore before rubbing the tender spot. But when she reached for the next item, his cell phone, he grabbed her arms to restrain her. "Stop it, Cuddy. Just stop it," he commanded, forcing her back against the pillows as he removed the phone from her and dropped it somewhere on the bed, still holding her hands firmly.

She started crying and her cries quickly turned into sobs. House felt helpless. After a moment he released her arms and pulled her into his chest, stroking her hair while hushing her. "Shh, Cuddy. It's going to be alright. You'll get through this. Postpartum depression is temporary. It won't last forever. You'll get back on your feet. We won't let you drown in this. I'm going to do everything in my power to get you the help you need."

Cuddy's arms, rather than fighting him had gone around him, holding onto him tightly as if she'd never let go. House rocked her slightly as if he was comforting a child, his hand continuing to stroke her hair while the other hand traced circles on her back through her nightgown and camisole like he'd have comforted one of the girls.

Cuddy was mumbling into his chest and he relaxed his hold on her slightly to lean back and hear her better. "You shouldn't have called her," she repeated, her hands dropping from around him.

He reached out and brushed the tears from her face. "I didn't know what else to do," he admitted. "I want to help you Cuddy, but I also have to be there for our daughter."

And then Cuddy shoved him away from her and off the bed, her eyes angry once more.

House caught himself before he could fall to the floor and slowly got to his feet.

"Don't you EVER mention her to me!" she screamed. "Get out! Just get out!"

House nodded, not knowing what else to do. He hadn't asked her if she was suicidal but he figured her ability to fly into a rage and yell at him said something, though he wasn't quite sure how to read it. He decided he'd leave it to her mother to feel that one out, picking his phone up from where it had fallen. Turning, he moved to the door, looking back at her sadly before walking out.

Cuddy watched him go, angry tears beginning to course down her cheeks once more. She heard the front door close and got up, storming through the house and past the nurse in the main bathroom without acknowledging her, placing the door chain in the slot to keep him from coming back in. Then she returned to her room, never once thinking about where Rachel was, collapsing on her bed and sobbing once more.

The nurse looked in on her a half hour later but House had informed her that this might happen and so she let her be after verifying that she was safe. Obviously Dr. Cuddy was as depressed as he had thought. She didn't know what had happened but she supposed it wasn't her business. She went back to the living room, having completed the bathroom, and pulled out the vacuum. She'd give Dr. Cuddy some time and then enter her room to tackle the bathroom there.

* * *

House ran to the pharmacy first, picking up the two prescriptions, before running to the grocery store, knowing he had to hurry or he wouldn't get home in time. He grabbed what he figured to be essentials, including diapers, trying to be conscious of what Cuddy did and didn't eat while being sure to collect what Rachel would enjoy too. He loaded everything up in his car at hyper speed because it had started to rain and then headed for home, pleased to see he would make it there by 11:30 a.m.

* * *

Cuddy lay on her bed, hiccupping, the tears having run their course. Her head was killing her but she was almost used to it now. She'd had headaches consistently the last few weeks. Cuddy had to pee but she was too exhausted to get up. When she couldn't hold it anymore she slid off the bed and stumbled her way to her bathroom. She didn't bother to brush her teeth or her hair, not even to change into clothes. Instead she returned to her bed, slipping back under the covers.

She heard the rain come down in sheets and looked out the window to see the sky darkened, looking as angry as she'd been when House had told her that her mother would be coming. Cuddy turned over, her back to the door. She heard the nurse enter and go into the bathroom, followed a moment later by the sound of cleaner spraying into the sink and upon the counters. She ignored it completely, wishing the nurse away.

Somewhere inside her, Cuddy knew House had done the only thing he'd known to do. And she was fully aware that she was not capable right now of doing what needed to be done because she knew she was not at all capable of functioning. She really did need her mother to come in and help her. She needed her strength and her shoulder to lean on. But underneath it all, she knew it was House she wanted to take care of her. She hated him for choosing his baby over her. But she still wanted him. And while some tiny part of her acknowledged that it was impossible for him to be here, if she couldn't have him, she didn't want anyone else.

She'd sent House away but she lay there and deep within her she hoped he'd come back. She felt so alone. Yet while he'd been with her, her isolation was one of the few things she hadn't felt. Cuddy promised herself then that she'd get up and take the chain off the door if he would just return and try to fix things for her. House was the only one who knew all she'd been through and struggled with. She had never thought this would be true – never thought he'd be the one she wanted if she ever hit rock bottom, but he was the only one she knew who might actually be capable enough to pick up all the pieces and put her back together again. Even her mom would be a poor substitute for House, she thought briefly before her eyes closed and she drifted back asleep.

-----

"_**The sky looks pissed  
The wind talks back  
My bones are shifting in my skin**_

_**And you my love are gone**_

_**My room seems wrong  
The bed won't fit  
I cannot seem to operate**_

_**And you my love are gone**_

_**So glide away and so be healed**_

_**And promise not to promise anymore**_

_**And if you come around again**_

_**Then I will take, then I will take**_

_**The chain from off the door**_

_**I'll never say, I'll never love  
But I don't say a lot of things**_

_**And you my love are gone  
**_

_**So glide away and so be healed**_

_**And promise not to promise anymore**_

_**And if you come around again**_

_**Then I will take (then I will take)**_

_**The chain from off the door (x6)"**_

* * *

Song: "The Chain" (Ingrid Michaelson)


	40. Keep Breathing

Disclaimer: House M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Hello Evelyn!!! Nice to have you with us!) :)_

* * *

House walked into his house thru the front door, deciding to leave the grocery bags outside on his porch where they'd remain cold and yet sheltered from the rain coming down. He tossed his keys on the table by the front door before walking through the house, looking for Cameron.

He found her with Rachel and Evie in the baby's room. Evie was sleeping in her swing while Cameron read Rachel one of the storybooks from the shelf. He leaned against the doorway, smiling tiredly when Cameron looked up at him.

House turned and walked back out, going into the kitchen to grab a non-alcoholic beer from the fridge before he went into the living room and sank down on the couch, rubbing a hand over his face, his head falling back upon the cushions as he took a sip.

Cameron finished the book and then picked Rachel up, carrying her out into the living room to sit down next to House. Rachel pushed herself off Cameron's lap and walked across the room to grab the teddy bear from the corner. House had packed it when he'd sent the girls off with Cameron because he'd recognized it as one Wilson had given Rachel some time ago. The duck Wilson had bought her was too big to bother bringing.

Turning his head slightly towards Cameron he waited for her to ask what he knew she'd ask.

"What are you going to say when she comes? How are you going to tell her?"

House sighed. "I don't know. I'll figure it out as I go."

Just then the doorbell rang. House glanced at his watch. Evelyn was just slightly early.

"Guess I'll be going, then," Cameron said, getting to her feet. She reached for his arm. "House, you know I'm always here if you need me, right?"

House smiled. "I know I'm pathetic right now, but geesh, Cameron, you're married. Quit trying to jump the cripple."

"Well, you know how it is with pregnancy hormones," she teased him. But then her lips curved up in a quirky smile and she shook her head. "Call me and tell me how it goes or I'll break your arm."

House laughed, picking up Rachel as they walked to the door. "If I hit the garage door opener will you toss the car seats in?"

Cameron nodded, but teased, "I guess they're right when they say chivalry is dead."

"I think I have my hands full," he defended.

"Yes, you do," she admitted as House opened the door to reveal Evelyn standing there.

Cameron gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, causing House to raise his eyebrows, and then she greeted Evelyn before slipping past her and running through the rain for her car.

House turned to Evelyn and motioned her in. She looked at him quizzically.

"Didn't I see that woman at Rachel's Simchat Bat?" She was certain she was right but then she remembered that House hadn't been there, to her great disappointment at the time. Changing her question, she asked, "Doesn't she work at PPTH?"

"That's Dr. Cameron," he informed her as he nodded, but didn't explain further.

She raised her eyebrows but did not comment as House shut the door and walked through the dining room and kitchen to the laundry room to open the garage door and hit the button. Evelyn followed him, taking Rachel from his arms and sinking down into the chair House pulled over for her from the dining room table along the way. "How's my grandbaby? Oh, you're getting so big! Grandma hasn't seen you in SOOO long!" she baby-talked.

"Coffee or tea?" House asked her, shaking his head at the way she was talking to Rachel when he returned from the laundry room.

"Coffee would be good. I didn't sleep very well last night," Evelyn divulged, glancing at him before focusing back on Rachel.

House looked at her, nodding. He hesitated but then honestly admitted, "It's good to have you here."

"I just wish it wasn't under these circumstances," Evelyn acknowledged, sighing.

With the exception of Rachel's occasional chatter, silence filled the room until the coffee was done, both of them lost in thought. House poured two cups and then passed one to Evelyn. "Milk? Sugar?"

"Just some milk," she replied.

He grabbed it from the fridge and then gave it to her before heading back into the living room to retrieve the prescriptions. He returned to the kitchen, placing them down on the table in front of her. Evelyn sighed again, reaching for them and reading them quickly. "You really think this is necessary?" she asked him. "It's this bad?"

He stared at her a moment and then slowly nodded. He had protected Evelyn from the extent of how bad things were in not expanding on how Rachel got sick or the environment he had found her in, but he needed Evelyn to understand that Cuddy needed meds. "It's a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, otherwise known as a SSRI," he explained. "It carries less side effects than a tricyclic antidepressant. And yes, I think she needs them."

She shook her head but put them in her purse before Rachel could grab them, having heard the rattling noise and thinking them a fun toy. "Talk to me, Greg. Tell me whatever you're trying to decide how to tell me. I can see in your face that there's more."

He raised his eyebrows, surprised to have her read him so easily. "Alright," he said slowly.

But before he could say anything, Evie started to cry.

Evelyn looked at him in surprise and then glanced in the direction of the hallway before she looked back at House. "Who is that?" she asked finally.

"That," House began, exhaling a breath as he got to his feet, "Is my daughter. And your granddaughter."

Evelyn looked at House, confused. "Greg? You had a baby? With who? Dr. Cameron?"

House frowned and shook his head as he tried to sort out what she was talking about. And then he realized what she thought. "No. Not Dr. Cameron. She's just a… friend. Remember? Her husband was probably at Rachel's Simchat Bat as well?"

"Then with who?" she asked, getting to her feet to follow him from the room.

It dawned on House that she didn't understand that by her granddaughter he had meant to convey the baby was Cuddy's as well. Something in his chest swelled, realizing that Evelyn automatically embraced the idea that any child of House's would be a grandchild where she was concerned. "Evelyn, I love you," he muttered happily then, before leading the way to the baby's room.

"Well, I love you too, Greg. But I'm awfully confused right now," she admitted as she glanced in the living room to check on Rachel, who had slipped out of the kitchen moments before. She was happily chatting with a teddy bear and Evelyn smiled briefly but after a moment her perplexed expression returned. Greg had a child. That made absolutely no sense to her. When had that happened? And who was the mother?

House stepped into Evie's room to retrieve her from the baby swing. Evelyn stopped in the hallway outside, not sure whether she was to follow him in or not. House soothed the baby a moment, placing her up on his shoulder and covering her with a blanket before limping his way out into the hall. He turned and met Evelyn's puzzled expression. "I'll follow you into the living room. Then you can hold her."

She nodded and turned back to enter the living room, House behind her. She couldn't see the baby's face because the blanket was wrapped around her and up over her head, but when House motioned for her to sit down on the couch, her arms automatically came up to take the infant, unable to resist a newborn. House placed Evie gently in her arms and Evelyn looked at him before gazing down at the baby, who stared up at her with House's blue eyes, a slight frown on her face.

And then it hit her, because while it was House's eyes gazing back at hers, the rest of the baby's face was one she knew. It was almost like seeing Lisa as an infant once again. "Greg?" she gasped, her eyes widening as she looked up to find him watching her.

He expelled a breath. "I know I wasn't completely honest with you on the phone last night. I didn't exactly tell you the whole story. But I didn't want to tell you this over the phone."

Evelyn slowly nodded, glancing back down at the infant. "When did…? How…? What…?" she asked, trying to settle on a question to begin with. She couldn't imagine how her daughter had successfully obscured a pregnancy from her, but then again, she hadn't been allowed to visit and her daughter had clearly wanted her in the dark on this one.

House looked over at Rachel briefly but then refocused on Evelyn. "It happened a few days after that night that Lucas walked out. Cuddy was ticked off at me and wasn't really allowing me to do my job. I did some tests that I felt needed to be done but I did them without her permission, as she was being difficult about everything. She found out and showed up at my door, yelling. And it just," he paused, searching for the right word. "Happened," he finished weakly.

"That was the night when she told me not to wait up for her and then didn't return until the next day," Evelyn concluded after a moment. "I asked her where she had been and she said she had been with Lucas."

"If she was, it wasn't until after 5 a.m.," House grimaced, glancing down at Evie.

Evelyn followed his eyes to the baby but after a moment met his eyes once more. "Lisa was pregnant. And she never even told her own mother," she sadly murmured.

House sank down onto the couch beside her, hesitating before he awkwardly wrapped an arm around her. "Evelyn, I know that sucks but you can't take this personal. She didn't want the baby. She had no intention of ever being a part of her life. I was the one to realize she was pregnant. When I told her, she wanted to have an abortion."

Evelyn's head whipped up. "But she'd been trying for a baby before Rachel came along! And when I asked her that day if she wanted to try for more, she said yes! This doesn't make any sense!"

House nodded slowly, his eyes closing briefly. "I know. But she had Rachel. And when she said she wanted more, she meant with Lucas."

Evelyn lifted the baby up onto her shoulder before reaching for him, her hand cupping his cheek. "Oh, Greg," she murmured. "What a mess."

House chuckled dryly and muttered, "You don't know the half of it."

"What happened? She obviously had the baby. How did you get her to change her mind?"

House pursed his lips, his eyebrows drawing together before he answered. "I didn't. Well, not really. I… blackmailed her into it. I made her sign a legal document stating she would do no harm to herself or the baby in exchange for me keeping silent about being the father. I also had to promise I'd leave PPTH when the baby was born. I… Cuddy didn't want the baby. I had to agree to take her and walk out of Cuddy's life once she was born."

"What is going on with my daughter, Greg?" she quietly asked, looking down at the baby in her lap. "I just don't understand."

House rubbed his face with a hand and pulled his arm back out from around her when Rachel came over, trying to climb into his lap, her thumb going into her mouth.

Evelyn looked at her, smiling half-heartedly. "She's tired."

House nodded, rubbing Rachel's back as if by instinct once she was snuggled up on his chest. "She's still recovering from being sick," he acknowledged.

After a moment he sighed and continued with the story. "At first Cuddy figured she'd miscarry naturally. She had when she'd tried in vitro. When she didn't…things only got worse. Maybe she took it as the nail in the proverbial coffin where Lucas was concerned. She became more and more depressed and things were…bad between us." House did not have any intention of telling Evelyn just how bad things got. He looked away but then turned back to her. "Evie was born on September 24th. Since she was in good health, the doctors allowed me to take her home almost immediately. Cuddy went home a few days later but until Rachel got sick, I had no clue how she was. She didn't want to be involved and she didn't want me around. She made that clear. So until Dr. Cameron asked me to check on her, I had no idea that things had only worsened."

"Evie?" Evelyn asked finally, her eyes widening and tears pooling there. "You named her after me?"

House tilted his head, looking at her funny. "Don't get excited and go all weepy on me. Her name's Georgia Eve. I just call her Evie. Unless Wilson is about. And then I call her George just to irritate him."

The tears trickled down her cheeks and she smiled, laughing softly. "Greg, sometimes I just don't know what to do with you," she teased, her hand coming up to wipe away the tears that were streaking down her cheeks.

House sobered and looked away before saying, "Sorry you couldn't be there for her birth. Cuddy didn't want anyone to know. It was bad enough, she said, having to deal with it at work for nine months. I did… I wanted you to know. I just didn't know how to tell you when it would be going against the agreement I made with her and potentially complicating the situation further."

Evelyn nodded, understanding why even if she didn't exactly agree with what he'd done. She should have been there for her daughter. Even if Lisa didn't want that. She was after all her mother.

Evie began to whimper and House leaned to the side, twisting his head to check Rachel and see if she was asleep. She was. "Can you change Evie for me? I'm going to lay Rachel down on my bed. Then I'll be back. I have to make Evie's bottle."

Evelyn nodded, getting to her feet with the baby held securely against her. House got up slowly too, using the couch to lever himself to his feet. It was a little difficult with Rachel in his arms. They parted ways at the door to Evie's room and once House had Rachel settled on his bed he headed back down, passing the baby's room to make sure Evelyn had found what she needed before continuing on his way to the kitchen to warm up a bottle.

Evelyn came into the kitchen with the baby a few minutes later, standing near House and rocking from side to side to try and keep the baby from crying. House was about to take the baby from her when he realized as grandma she would probably want to feed her. He checked the bottle's temperature quickly and then handed it to her without speaking, leading the way back into the living room and sinking into the couch before she followed his example.

"She has hair like Lisa's. When she was a newborn, it was so straight! But it stuck up in tufts here and there and I couldn't do anything with it until it was longer. Then at about nine months, it went all curly on me. I just loved it," Evelyn murmured softly, reminiscing.

House smiled but didn't say anything, just nodding briefly.

"So what does this mean?" Evelyn asked once the baby was contentedly sucking on the bottle.

House looked at her, his eyebrows drawing together. "What?"

"Well, do you think Lisa will come around? Do you think she will eventually decide she wants to be a part of Georgia's life?" she asked, looking up at him.

House smiled at how she refused to call her namesake by her nickname. "I won't think less of you if you call her Evie," he said pointedly.

She smiled. "Believe me when I say I'm honored. But I like Georgia. And I like that I'm, oh, 90% certain I know the reason for that choice as well," she teased, eyebrows lifting.

House studied her expression with one eye. "Oh yeah?" he asked, interested to see just how much she knew and how far back her memory went.

"Just because I never told Lisa's father about her trip to Georgia with you over Spring Break that year doesn't mean I'm clueless to her activities while she was away at med school," she informed him, an affectionate expression softening the lines around her mouth.

House looked away but he couldn't hide his smile. Evelyn was sharp. He'd give her that. And he wondered how much she'd pieced together on her own and how much she's learned from Cuddy all those years ago. Other than going home for the holidays, she hadn't really seemed that connected to her parents while they were together, too independent in spirit as she strove to make her own way in the world.

House remembered her question then. "Evelyn," he began gently, "She's turned over physical and legal custody to me. She requested her parental rights be terminated immediately."

"Oh no, House!" she exclaimed. "Tell me she didn't! Tell me you didn't let her!"

"Evelyn, Cuddy's a grown woman," House declared. "What can I do about it if she doesn't want anything to do with her daughter?!"

"I know," she agreed, trying to placate and reassure him she hadn't meant that it was his responsibility. "But her parental rights? Doesn't that legally sever their relationship?"

He nodded and was quiet a moment before he sighed. "I asked the judge to hold off on terminating her rights," he confided hesitantly, his voice low.

"And what did he say?" she asked, her expression guarded.

"She," House corrected. "And she agreed to wait a year and then make a ruling, though Cuddy's lawyer argued vehemently against the extension, wanting to carry out his client's decision immediately."

Evelyn breathed out a sigh of relief. "Oh, Greg! Thank you for that!"

He held up a hand to stop her from going on and on about it. "You can't talk about this with Cuddy, Evelyn. You have to promise me you won't. My mother called her to try and talk her into coming to see her daughter and it just made things worse. I had no idea she was calling though and so there was nothing I could do to prevent it. Furthermore, I have to assume her lawyer told her about the waiting period on terminating her rights and I'm afraid if we bring it up she'll just turn around and get her lawyer to file an appeal or something. I mentioned Evie this morning just in passing and she went ballistic. The fact that she hasn't mentioned it, I think, is a good thing," he added. Then regretfully he murmured, "Evelyn, I've called you and told you everything because I can't deal with Cuddy anymore. I need you to take over where she's concerned. I've got Evie to think about. I think the best thing you could do is be there, helping her with Rachel. You can support Cuddy but don't let her get away with not taking care of herself. And you have to let her decide whether or not she'll talk to you about the baby. If she doesn't bring it up, I would strongly recommend you just let it go. After this morning, I just think she's still clinging firmly to her decision to not be a part of Evie's life."

Evelyn looked like she'd object and House tilted his head, giving her a serious look. "Otherwise, if you try and force her into it, you won't be helping any of us. Eventually she'll send you packing and to be honest, you're the only one I can think of to get her through. I'm done. I mean it."

Evelyn looked at him, pained by her own perceived thoughtlessness. "I'm so sorry, Greg! How selfish I'm being! I keep thinking about how she didn't tell me and how much that hurts. And then I think of poor Georgia and how awful it is to have a mother who's not interested in being a part of her life. And of course, I'm concerned about Lisa and what's going on with her. But I haven't really thought of you and what you must be going through!"

House met her gaze with a startled expression. "It's not your job to worry about me. I don't expect you to take care of me. I don't need to be taken care of. Besides, you are going to have your hands full with Cuddy," he quickly rebutted. "And Evie's fine. She doesn't know any different and she's got lots of people who are involved in her life. Not that she cares, but she does."

"But this can't be easy for you," she argued, spreading the baby blanket out on the cushion to lie the baby down and turn to him.

House shook his head, not wanting to get into this. "I'm fine. I can handle this. I'll be fine," he repeated.

Evelyn sighed, giving him a pointed look. "You can say what you want but you aren't fine. Greg, you and I both know you care about Lisa. You wouldn't have called me if you didn't. You wouldn't have been at her house all night last night if you didn't."

"Fine. I've known Cuddy a long time. And I feel partly responsible for her misery right now. But it's nothing more than that. I AM walking away," he impatiently announced, the conversation becoming too personal now that it centered on how he was coping, the emotions too close to the surface because it was Evelyn he was talking to, someone he knew he had a hard time fooling.

"You love her, Greg," she said softly, sighing.

House got to his feet. "I need to check on Rachel."

Evelyn gave him a look and then got up as well. Before House could bolt she pulled him into a hug, squeezing him tightly, her hand rubbing his back gently as she held on to him.

House stood in her arms, caught off guard. She was stroking his back as if he was a little kid needing reassurance and the tenderness of that overwhelmed him. He hadn't had someone do that in as long as he could remember, the closest being the occasional hug Cameron gave him. Even Wilson didn't cross that boundary between them. House felt like he was about to choke. There was something in his airway and he couldn't get rid of it. It was swelling and making it hard for him to breathe. All he wanted was to get away and yet he couldn't move.

Evelyn relaxed her hold a moment later and House instantly stepped back from her. She looked up at him and sighed. "Oh Greg," she whispered again, and then her hand was on his face, wiping moisture from his cheeks.

It was only then that he realized he was crying. He quickly turned and limped his way down the hall to the bathroom, closing the door behind him to regain composure. He NEVER cried. This was bad. This was very bad. He had to get Evelyn out of here before he broke down. He just couldn't afford to have that happen. He couldn't turn into a blubbering idiot. Splashing handfuls of water on his face, he quickly toweled off and took a couple deep breaths before heading back towards the living room.

House walked past Evelyn without a word, grabbing his keys. Finally he said, "I'm going to need your keys to put Rachel's car seat in your car." He didn't even allow himself to look at her.

Recognizing his discomfort Evelyn pursed her lips but went to grab her keys, dropping them into his outstretched hand a moment later. He took them and immediately went out into the rain, starting up her car and pulling it around his car and then backing it into his garage to put the car seat in where it was dry. If she left through the garage door, House determined, neither Evelyn nor Rachel would get wet.

He hastily fit the car seat into her backseat before tightening it. Then he went through the house to grab the groceries from his front stoop along with Rachel's bag and placed them all in Evelyn's car. Coming back inside he leaned against the wall and informed her, "I'm going to put Rachel in the car. You should get home to Cuddy. I have someone cleaning while keeping an eye on her but she'll be wanting to leave shortly. I only paid her to stay around for a few hours."

Evelyn nodded before turning back to kiss the sleeping baby's soft cheek. House left her with Evie and went back to pick up Rachel, who woke up in his arms. "Come on Rach. Grandma's going to take you back home to mommy."

"No!" she pouted. "Wanna stay."

"No, squirt. You have to go home to your house," he explained, walking with her down the hallway and to the living room. "Mommy wants you home."

House didn't care if it was true or not. Cuddy had to realize that she really didn't want to lose Rachel. Eventually she'd come around.

"Can I come back and visit?" Evelyn asked him, once he had Rachel securely fastened in her car seat.

House straightened and turned to look at her in surprise. "Evelyn," he finally declared, "If you don't come and visit, I'll hunt you down and force you to."

She threw her arms around him and this time he returned the embrace easily. "You can't get rid of me," he teased.

"I don't want to get rid of you," she replied, releasing him.

"Good. Because you can't. I plan to make sure you stay a part of your granddaughter's life. Just call if you're going to swing by. Here's my number," he said, slipping a piece of paper into her hand.

She got on her tiptoes, pressing a kiss to his cheek, which he bent down to receive willingly enough. When she was settled in the driver's seat, he said, "There are groceries in the backseat. If I forgot something and you can't leave Cuddy to go get it, give me a call." Once she nodded, he quietly muttered, "And keep in touch. I know I'm turning this over to you but I do want to know how she is. For Evie's sake," House added.

Evelyn smiled softly, knowing exactly for whose sake it was. "Bye, Greg," she said tenderly.

"Bye Grandma Cuddles," he replied as he rolled his eyes at her knowing expression, his mouth quirking to the side. She smiled wider before leaning away from the door so he could shut it for her. Then she started the car, pulling out of the garage a few moments later. Evelyn glanced back in the rearview mirror to watch him push the button to close the garage door and head back into the house. Finally she pulled out onto the street, quickly glancing Rachel's way. "Oh Rachel," she murmured. "What is your mama doing?"

Not understanding the question, Rachel gave her a blank look before she turned to watch the rain trailing down the windows.

Evelyn sighed, turning the wipers on. Then she drove the car in the direction of Lisa's house, trying to figure out how in the world she would tell Richard all this.

Evelyn pulled in the driveway and expelled a breath before murmuring, "Well, this is it."

She climbed out of the car and went to the backseat to retrieve Rachel before hurrying for the door to escape the rain. A lady around her age attempted to open the front door for her but had to shut it again to remove the chain before she could let Evelyn into the house.

"Dr. Cuddy must have locked it," the woman said, more to herself than to Evelyn. "I take it you are her mother?" she asked, not allowing her to respond before she continued. "Dr. House told me you'd be coming but I wasn't expecting you for another hour."

Evelyn closed her eyes briefly, a chagrined smile playing on her lips. It didn't really surprise her that Greg had sent her on her way rather quickly after she'd fussed over him. "Yes. Evelyn Cuddy. And Rachel, of course. Do you know Rachel? Are you from the hospital? Greg told me you were a nurse."

"I've never met Dr. Cuddy's daughter but I've heard of her. It's nice to meet you both. Dr. Cuddy is in the bedroom. And I'm finished here, so I suppose I will go," she said, reaching for her purse and coat.

"Thank you," Evelyn replied politely, feeling a little uncomfortable really. It felt strange to be in her daughter's house and yet be the one in charge now. She walked the woman out and then returned inside to set Rachel down in the living room before running back out to the car to grab the groceries. She'd retrieve her suitcase later, she decided.

Within five minutes she had the bags in the kitchen and the front door locked. Not seeing Rachel she then went to track her down and found her playing with her toys in her room. Convinced that she would be alright for a few minutes, Evelyn took a deep breath and headed for Lisa's room, pausing at the door to try and prepare herself for whatever she would find. Hearing things through House was a little different than being confronted with them first-hand. She just prayed that she could deal with this without making things worse.

Knocking lightly, Evelyn let herself in after a moment. The blinds were drawn almost completely shut and with the weather outside like it was, the room was dark. She frowned and then hit the light switch to find her daughter still in bed in her nightgown.

Cuddy met her mother's gaze, having heard the dulcet tones of her voice faintly from the entryway moments earlier. Then she looked at the wall before turning on her side and away from her mother.

Evelyn's eyebrows rose and she slowly walked to the bed, sinking down next to her daughter.

"Whatever House told you, I don't want to talk about it," Lisa muttered.

Evelyn remained silent a moment and then reached for her, stroking her arm as she said, "Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

"Nothing," Lisa replied softly. "I don't want to talk."

"Alright," her mother accepted, not about to push her just yet. "I have groceries to put away but then Rachel and I will come in and visit with you."

Lisa closed her eyes tightly before murmuring, "No. Keep her away. I don't want her here."

"Frankly, baby, you don't have a choice," Evelyn said evenly. "She's your daughter and you have to spend time with her. You're her mother. It's your job."

"She deserves better," Lisa whispered, tears building up and pooling in her eyes. "I let her get sick. I didn't take care of her like I should."

"Oh honey," Evelyn began, reaching to pull her daughter into her arms. "She's got the best mother a little girl could have. Don't you know that?"

Lisa shook her head, disagreeing, but her arms came around her mother, holding on fiercely as she had held on to House only hours before.

"Sweetheart, we will get you through this you know," Evelyn murmured, holding her close and pressing a kiss into her hair. "I'll stay as long as you need me. I'll take care of Rachel until you are well enough to do it on your own. Honey, you are a better mother than you give yourself credit for. You're just having a hard time right now."

Her mother held her for some time, wishing there was an easy answer for everything on her daughter's mind that was dragging her under. When Lisa finally released her Evelyn allowed it, watching her as she lay back down on the bed and closed her eyes.

She got to her feet and after a moment of thinking opened the blinds, figuring a little light was better than no light, even if it was raining out. People with depression needed to be in the light, right?

"Honey, are you going to be okay?" she asked, pausing in the doorway. She wasn't sure herself whether she meant while she put groceries away or whether she meant in the long run.

"I'm breathing," Cuddy replied then, opening her eyes to stare out the window dismally. "Can that just be enough for now?"

Evelyn looked at her sadly but nodded her head slightly, quietly murmuring, "I suppose that will do," before slipping out of the room, leaving the door open behind her.

-----

"_**The storm is coming but I don't mind  
People are dying, I close my blinds  
All that I know is I'm breathing now**_

_**I want to change the world...instead I sleep  
I want to believe in more than you and me**_

_**But all that I know is I'm breathing  
All I can do is keep breathing  
All we can do is keep breathing now, now, now, now**_

_**All that I know is I'm breathing  
All I can do is keep breathing  
All we can do is keep breathing (x8)  
All we can do is keep breathing now"**_

* * *

Song: "Keep Breathing" (Ingrid Michaelson)


	41. I Love You, Goodbye

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Okay - this chapter goes into House and Cuddy's history, which is much more involved than reality ( the show :) ). I HOPE you love it though! I'm definitely taking liberties here!)_

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House gave Cameron a call as she'd asked him to, briefly updating her on everything. "Evelyn's there to take care of Cuddy and Rachel," he finished.

"So you've walked away then? You're done? It's over?" Cameron asked, not sure whether to believe him or not.

"I'm done, Cameron," he said gruffly. "It's over."

"You're sure?" she pressed.

"Cameron, what do you want to hear from me?! You're the one who called and sent me in to check on Cuddy!" House pointed out in obvious frustration.

"I know! I'm sorry! I know!" Cameron quickly apologized, though they both knew she'd done it because he'd asked her to. "I just want this to be over for you, House. And I felt terrible about calling you in the first place to check on her, but I'm glad to know it's done. I'm glad to hear Evelyn's more than willing to take over."

House fell silent, not having anything to say.

"House, you know I'm just trying to look out for you here, right?" she asked carefully. "I know I'm holding you accountable to take care of yourself and Evie. But you know it's just because I care for you, don't you?"

He expelled his breath, trying to get rid of the pent-up stress he was feeling, but muttered, "I know, Cameron. You and Wilson both. And I appreciate it. But I am telling you that I'm walking away. You have to trust me here."

Cameron smiled on the other end of the phone. "Okay House. I'll quit bugging you."

"Thank you for that!" he sarcastically quipped. "Now leave me alone!" he threw in grumpily.

She laughed, shaking her head. "I will, but you'll call me begging soon enough, finding any excuse you can to get me over there because you miss me so much."

"That'll be the day," he dryly replied. And then he hung up, causing Cameron to laugh again before placing her phone in the receiver.

House stood by the phone for a few minutes before picking Evie up and holding her out in front of him. "Kid, your old man is all yours. What do you want to do for the rest of the day?"

Evie just stared back at him.

"Dinner and some mood music it is," House agreeably announced. "But first I think a bath. That diaper reeks and it's been a while for you anyway." He got to his feet, cradling her to his chest before heading to her room to remove her clothes and clean her up. Then he lifted her to his shoulder, warning her not to pee before limping carefully to the bathroom to grab her baby tub. He threw a towel down on the ground, placing her on it before moving her bathtub to the counter and filling it partway with warm water. Finally he grabbed a couple washcloths from the closet before bending down cautiously, picking her up, and slowly getting back to his feet. Once she was settled in the tub, her eyes wide open, startled by her sudden contact with water, House splashed her down, talking to her as if she was an adult while soaping her up. He added foam to her cheeks and chin, smirking to himself. He'd have to do this next time Wilson was around. "Oh, little George was growing up," he could wistfully say. Man but he loved getting under Wilson's skin.

* * *

House sat at the piano later that night once Evie was sleeping, playing one melody after another. His mind was not on what his hands were doing however. House was lost in the past, remembering when life had been perhaps just as complicated but when decisions had been a lot easier to make. He kept going back to when he'd met Cuddy that day in late summer when she'd walked across campus right in front of him after school had started back up. He'd been walking with a girl he'd met the week before, a blonde who immediately attracted his attention because she obviously knew who he was and was interested in getting to know the rebel on campus personally. House was in it for thrills and not much else. He walked with his arm casually draped around her shoulders, laughing and joking about whatever he'd done that week to cause profs to raise an eyebrow. Her giggle was slightly grating but he didn't care. She was good-looking.

Out of nowhere he spotted a nicely shaped dark-haired girl in front of him, tossing her hair as she crossed the grounds, her arms weighted down with more books than he'd ever seen one person carrying, and his eyebrows had automatically rose in amusement. But then his eyes fell to her tennis outfit and his interest held. He dropped his arm from the blonde's shoulders, telling her he had to go, and then he walked away, knowing she was watching him in confusion. He waited a moment for her to turn around and keep going in the direction of her next class, before detouring to intentionally bump into the brunette, knocking her books down in the process.

"Oh, sorry," he apologized, flashing her a plausibly guilty look. "I didn't see you."

She sighed, kneeling down to pick up her books, only meeting his gaze when he dropped to his knees beside her and took her books from her.

House smiled and she looked at him a moment before frowning. "You ran into me on purpose," she said then, calling him on it.

He met her eyes with a surprised expression, not having expected her to read him so easily, even if she was justifiably suspicious. "What?" he asked, pretending to be confused as he got to his feet with her books in his arms.

Her lips pursed and she gave him a skeptical, probing look.

House thought he better change the subject and fast. "Greg House," he announced, shuffling the books in his arms to free a hand and hold it out to her.

She looked from his hand to his face to his hand again but didn't take it. "My books?" she quietly asked, reaching for them.

"I've got 'em. Let me help you. Where are you going with these?" he asked, smiling as politely as he could manage and trying hard not to be caught ogling her in her tennis outfit whenever she looked his way.

She shook her head at him, her expression serious. "Oh no, you don't. Your reputation precedes you. There's no way I'm letting you carry my books for me, let alone tell you my class schedule or where you might run into me in the future."

He looked at her in clear amusement but refused to hand over her books. "Yeah? And just what is my reputation?"

She tucked a curl behind her ear before sighing and warily declaring, "Listen, I've got to go. Can you just hand over my books?"

He smiled but shook his head. "Nope. Not without a name, at least."

She gave him a wary look before exhaling and saying "Lisa Cuddy," all in the same breath.

"Nice to meet you, Lisa Cuddy," he replied then, his lips quirking into a smile.

She gave him a pointed look, obviously annoyed. "My books?" she prompted.

He chuckled but handed them over, only slightly reluctant to do it, making sure their fingers grazed in the process.

She took them from him without comment, immediately side-stepping him to continue on her way.

"See you around, Lisa Cuddy," he called after her, with every intention of pursing this further. There was nothing he loved more than the thrill of a chase.

House smiled fondly at the memory, remembering the days and weeks that had followed. He'd still indulged the blonde in opportunities to be in his company, but now he was distracted, constantly on the watch for Lisa Cuddy. She turned up in his endocrinology class but ignored him there. And so he then took up tennis, seeking her outside the classroom on the court, an amused expression playing on his lips every time he'd run into her and find her immediately making up some excuse as to why she couldn't play him and had to go. But House was nothing if not persistent and there came a point when she sighed and nodded, agreeing to play against him if only to get him off her back.

House was actually decent on the court, which was definitely in his favor as he was pretty sure she would never have agreed to meet him the next day to play again, had he not been a worthy opponent. Somehow he managed to talk her into going out for a drink the next week, following another tennis match where they'd played together, this time against another couple. His success in asking her out and getting her to say yes he really attributed to his ability to make her laugh. He had taken advantage of every opportunity and every encounter, not leaving her side without getting her to laugh at something he said. But as he was persistent, Lisa Cuddy was nothing if not hard to get, and she played her hand well, driving him crazy to the point that he forgot the blonde and every other woman on campus, captivated by the little vivacious book-worm whose eyes and lips kept him up at night and whose intellect and wit caught him by surprise both in and outside of the classroom.

Weeks turned into months and they were still spending time together at regular intervals. When she found out he wasn't going home for Christmas, she hesitantly invited him to come home with her for the holidays, though her family was Jewish and Greg held himself to be a strict atheist. That was how he had come to meet her parents, and though they just claimed to be friends, he knew Evelyn had obviously seen something between them even then, just in how he'd looked up at mealtimes to find her eyes going back and forth between he and Cuddy.

One day in early spring she turned up at his lacrosse game and he walked her home afterwards, teasing her about being there to see him. She'd scoffed and dismissed him, telling him that she'd only gone because a friend wanted to go and she had nothing better to do. But when House asked her where this friend was, his eyes skeptical, she struggled to spot someone she knew in the crowd before lamely telling him her friend must have already left. He raised an eyebrow but remained silent, both of them knowing she was lying about the friend.

House would pull up his motorcycle in front of her apartment complex and then run up her stairs, practically dragging her away from her books to take her for a spin. She fought him on riding the bike but in the end she caved, her arms coming around his waist to cling to him when he hit the accelerator and tore off down the street with her shrieking and giggling from behind him. When her cold fingers snuck up under his t-shirt, making contact with his belly, he looked back at her, shaking his head when he realized she was laughing at him. But when she went to remove them from his t-shirt a moment later, he reached down and tucked them back in where they'd be warm, not releasing her hands until he was sure she'd leave them there.

There were times when House thought for sure she wanted to kiss him, but every time he'd lean down towards her to make a move, she'd turn her head or back away. And then one day he was walking backwards in front of her across the lawn, teasing her, when he'd stumbled back and yet reached for her, bringing her down with him. Lisa had fallen on top of him, House taking the brunt of the fall, and she'd laughed, her hands locked on his chest, tangled in his shirt. She'd moved her legs to either side of him, straddling him without intending to as she tried to climb off. But before she could get to her feet, House took hold of her wrists with one of his hands, lifting them up in the air before using his free arm to wrap it around her, rolling over with her so that she was on her back on the ground. Cuddy laughed throatily but then stilled at the look on House's face. He leaned towards her, his hand still firmly holding her hands on the ground over where her head lay, hair fanned out, bringing his lips down towards hers. Lisa turned her head to the side and whispered, "Let me go," but her voice lacked conviction and they both knew that wasn't what she wanted.

House waited, watching her, sliding his hand out from under her to bring it to her jaw, turning her head to face him. When her eyes met his before focusing on his lips, he smiled softly and then a fraction at a time, brought his head down to meet her lips in a soft kiss. House released her hands at that point, bracing his other hand on the ground next to her to give him some support, and Lisa's hands, now free, came up around his neck, as she returned his kiss with abandon. When her mouth opened a moment later to allow his tongue entrance, he wasn't sure if the moan he heard next came from her or from him. It was some time before they came up for air, but when they did they both knew they had now gone beyond being friends. And this was the moment a friend had unwittingly snapped with his camera while photographing a school event, not noticing the details that House's eye latched onto when the picture caught his eye from his friend's desk before House had submitted it to the yearbook.

When Spring Break came, House asked Lisa Cuddy what her plans were. She said she was going to spend the whole time studying for the upcoming Endocrinology test and he shook his head, rolling his eyes, but didn't comment further. The next day she opened the door to find House standing there, telling her to pack an overnight bag. It took him an hour to convince her to come with him but in the end they both knew she couldn't refuse him anything anymore. He followed her to her room where she packed her backpack, but when she was satisfied that she had everything, he turned it over, emptying it and sorting through it to separate necessary items from what he decided she could do without. Lisa objected, smacking him as he went through her stuff, mortified at how he casually glanced at her underwear and bra, but he argued that she didn't need half the stuff she'd packed and then he'd thrown a few items of his own into her bag before throwing it on his back, grabbing her hand, and dragging her outside. That was when he drove them both to Georgia, never telling her where they were going until the moment came when he parked the bike at the gulf on the boardwalk.

The months continued to pass and things grew more heated between them, yet she'd never let it go beyond heavy petting. Each time he'd reach to unsnap or unbutton or unzip something, she'd push him away, breathing heavily but adamant that it wasn't going to happen. House got to the point where he stopped attempting to undress her, satisfying himself with feeling her up, knowing the day would come when her control would snap. He'd never had to work so hard but for the first time, it was all worth it. Lisa Cuddy was more than worth the wait.

They saw each other at least twice a week during the summer, House remaining at school for an internship while Cuddy got a job at the hospital, working under a big wig. She'd leave him notes, sneaking them into his jacket pocket or into his duffle bag when he wasn't paying attention. He'd steal her lipstick and draw things on her bathroom mirror, not comfortable expressing his feelings but finding creative ways to draw them in one way or another. Then one night right before school started back up, they were in her room fooling around and House slid his hand up her thigh and under her skirt, waiting for the moment when she'd push him away. But when his hand came into contact with her panties and she still didn't object, eagerly kissing him, his fingers were quick to delve within and slowly work her to a frenzy. Her head fell back against the pillow and her moans increased in frequency, her fingers twining into her comforter. He smiled, his own eyes heavily lidded with desire, and when he knew he had her on edge, House removed his hand from her, sitting up on the bed and reaching for his shoes.

She bolted upright and demanded to know where he was going. He nonchalantly said he had to get home because he had a lot to do the next day. "Please, don't," she murmured then, her voice throaty, her eyes electrocuting him with a "come hither" stare. When she tugged him gently back to her, slowly undressing him before he returned the favor, he had known he was lost in Lisa Cuddy's clutches. When he discovered she was a virgin minutes later, something he probably should have guessed but somehow never had, he'd hesitated, afraid she'd regret what she was now offering up to him. But she'd urged him on and he couldn't refuse her, promising himself that he would give her everything he had to offer to make this something memorable and pleasurable, rather than painful as he knew it would initially be.

The next day yearbooks were released and he'd bought them each one, bringing them back to her place when he swung by to spend some time with her. She'd stolen his yearbook when he wasn't looking and when he'd opened it that night after kissing her goodbye, he'd found the words she had wrote. In that moment, he knew she loved him. What was even scarier was the knowledge that it wasn't one-sided. He loved her just as much, if not perhaps more. And that was when he determined it had to be over.

He intentionally made sure he was busy the whole next week, avoiding her with all that was in him. Because all he could think of was how miserable his mom secretly must have been with the man who had raised him, how she'd had an affair that resulted in House, how he'd never been the son she'd probably hoped for and certainly never measured up in his father's eyes. In his late teen years and twenties, he'd gone from one girl to the next, oftentimes using them, sometimes mutually enjoying them until it grew old. He thought long and hard and he realized something. He couldn't name one person who he hadn't eventually disappointed. But if there was one person he didn't want to see himself disappoint, it was her. And then House determined he'd rather walk away now than have Lisa Cuddy get in any deeper, afraid he'd hurt her, afraid he'd break her in the end. He had never intended to get in as deep as he had. But then, he'd never expected to meet someone like her who could do to him what she'd done. Now he could look ahead and see her in the future, needing a man who would be there for her, who would take care of her, who would give her the babies most women eventually wanted, who would stay true and be the kind of man she'd need him to be. And all he knew was that there was no way he'd make her happy. One day she'd wake up and discover she was miserable. Then she'd look at him with disenchantment evident in her eyes, feeling cheated that she'd settled for him. If he was in this deep now, how would he ever survive that day? The only thing he could think of to do in order to spare her future pain and him heartache was to end things now. And so the next week when school officially began, he intentionally allowed himself to be caught cheating, never arguing when they told him they were kicking him out, never even seeking her out to explain, because he knew if he went back, there would be no leaving. At least not until he found a way to mess things up with her as only he could.

And so he'd written letters. And letters upon letters. Some of them he wrote in explanation of why he'd done what he'd done and others he'd written, his chest aching, his words confessing, even begging to have a second chance. But he'd never mailed a single one of them. Because he wasn't the one she needed and he knew he'd never measure up.

Now, House's fingers stilled on the piano keys before picking back up, playing a song that captured what he felt back then and what he felt, even now. Because the truth was, after all this time he still wanted to be the one to hold Lisa Cuddy's heart. But if the past year had taught him nothing else, it had given him reason to believe that what he'd thought way back then still held true. He could say that he'd be all she needed. He could hope that it was true. But he wasn't and never would be. When he'd finally offered himself up, she'd walked away, feeling another man would be better equipped to meet her needs. And now even with Lucas out of the picture, he knew she held to that belief. But even if she didn't, House no longer felt capable of giving his heart and soul to her. He was too broken – more broken than he'd ever been all those years ago. And now he had Evie to think of and worry about. He refused to try and hold on to Cuddy and then look in his daughter's eyes one day and find that she'd become him, crippled by her parents misery, or worse, rejected every day by a mother who never wanted her, as his father had never wanted him. No, this truly was the best thing he could do for all of them. Walking away was the only option. Even if it cost him to do it.

-----

"_**Wish I could be the one  
The one who could give you love  
The kind of love you really need  
Wish I could say to you  
That I'll always stay with you  
But baby that's not me  
You need someone**_

_**Willing to give their heart and soul to you  
Promise you forever**_

_**Baby that's something I can't do  
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need  
But that would be a lie  
I know I'd only hurt you  
I know I'd only make you cry  
I'm not the one you're needing  
I love you, goodbye**_

_**I hope someday you can  
Find some way to understand**_

_**I'm only doing this for you  
I don't really wanna go  
But deep in my heart I know**_

_**This is the kindest thing to do  
You'll find someone**_

_**Who'll be the one that I could never be  
Who'll give you something better  
Than the love you'll find with me  
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need  
But that would be a crime  
I know I'd only hurt you  
I know I'd only make you cry  
I'm not the one you're needing  
I love you, goodbye**_

_**Leaving someone when you love someone  
It's the hardest thing to do  
When you love someone as much as I love you**_

_**Oh I don't wanna leave you  
Baby it tears me up inside  
But I'll never be the one you're needing  
I love you, goodbye**_

_**Baby, it's never gonna work out  
I love you, goodbye"**_

* * *

Song: "I Love You, Goodbye" (Celine Dion)


	42. Colors

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Wow! Such a mix of reviews! Some blame House for "running" away again, others are sympathetic and want him to move on, but seems like everyone's okay with my history. :) I'm glad. But I'm not sure what to think about the reviews where people don't see how this could ever work out for them. Do you not trust House and Cuddy to pull it off and turn things around or is it me you have doubts about? :) Enjoy!)_

* * *

October 22nd, 2010

Cameron opened the door and automatically took Evie's carrier from House. "Come on in. Chase is in the kitchen and Wilson's in the living room."

The smell of burgers filled the air and House's stomach growled noisily, causing Cameron to smile.

"I'm glad you brought your appetite," she teased, turning to carry Evie into the living room once House shut the door and was in the process of removing his coat.

House walked into the living room and threw his coat on the back of the couch before collapsing next to Wilson.

"Rough day?" Wilson asked, grinning his way before taking a sip from his beer.

House groaned, eyeing the beer but then closing his eyes to block out the forbidden. "Just another sleepless night," he muttered. "One of these days we'll get the hang of this. I'm beginning to look forward to the nights when she sleeps straight thru and wakes me up at 7 a.m., raring to go."

Cameron smiled and unzipped Evie's jacket after unbuckling her before shooting House a shocked look. "You put her in a dress?!"

House grimaced, not opening his eyes. "Lost a bet with Wilson," he mumbled.

Cameron laughed and looked Wilson's way. "What was the bet?" she inquired, curious.

"That he couldn't go three days without calling me," Wilson admitted, glancing over to make sure the baby was indeed in a dress and not that mini-skirt House had dressed her in before. "He didn't even last 48 hours."

"You wanted him to stop calling you?" she asked in surprise.

Wilson shook his head. "Nope. Just wanted to win a bet and force him into a week of Evie wearing only dresses during the day. Though it would be nice if he could refrain from calling me in the middle of the night to tell me what color would most closely match the contents of Evie's worst diaper of the day," he sarcastically added.

House laughed. "Come on! I have no one to share those precious details with," he taunted. "And you know you want to know! Besides, I get bored when I'm spending hour after hour waiting for her to go to sleep and allow me to place her in her crib."

"She's not that bad," Wilson corrected. "I think you just want any excuse you can get to hold her and make sure she knows who she belongs to."

House shook his head. "Nope. That's not true. I'm telling you, it's the kid."

"I'm going to go check on Chase," Cameron informed them, rolling her eyes at how they went back and forth. "Do you want a turn with Evie?" she asked Wilson, not wanting to take her into the kitchen near splattering grease.

He nodded and reached his arms out to take her, straightening her blue dress that complimented her little eyes, when they weren't closed in sleep. "Why didn't you at least brush her hair before coming over here?" Wilson asked House in skepticism while Cameron made her way out of the room.

"One, that wasn't part of the deal. I agreed to put her in a dress, not to brush her hair. And two, her hair is going to do what it wants. I can try and flatten it all I want but as soon as it dries, it's back to doing its own thing. Don't mess with functioning chaos," House instructed.

"Can I ask you something?" Wilson asked, the phrase "functioning chaos" turning his thoughts to how far House had come in the last month.

"If it doesn't involve hair, clothes, or makeup," House quipped, turning his head in Wilson's direction to eyeball him.

"It doesn't," Wilson assured before smiling broadly. "You still spending time with your neighbor?"

"She and the kid were over last Friday night for pizza and a movie. Since you bailed on me and all," House griped.

"You like her?" Wilson asked, ignoring the complaint.

House thought it over and finally nodded. "Yes. But we're just friends so don't get any ideas. I'm not interested in a relationship. I've got my hands full with this kid of mine."

"But that's not to say it couldn't go somewhere down the road," Wilson pointedly declared.

"And how's your love life going, Wilson? Seeing anyone? Forgotten Amber yet?" House caustically queried, not wanting to think about women, sex, or relationships, as Cuddy had been a mess of the three and he wasn't too anxious to talk about her either, though he was sure her name would come up at some point tonight, given that he'd been at her place only the weekend before.

"House…" Wilson began argumentatively.

"My kid's not even a month old and you are already mapping out my love life for me?" House asked in disbelief, trying to make Wilson realize how ridiculous this discussion was.

Wilson sighed. "Come on. I'm just saying…"

"You're just saying that you'd like me to keep my eyes on the lookout, open to another relationship. Probably so that you can be reassured I won't fall back into the last disastrous one," House filled in before continuing when he looked away. "Wilson, I don't have any intention of chasing after Cuddy. Nor do I have any interest in being with anyone else. I… things happened between Cuddy and I that… I just don't have any interest in being with anyone, okay? Can we just leave it at that?"

"And if Cuddy was to start seeing someone?" Wilson asked quietly then, testing House for a reaction.

"You interested?" House quipped sarcastically.

"House, just answer the question!" Wilson demanded.

House looked away, not saying anything for a time. "Cuddy can do what she wants," he finally muttered. "I don't really care. It doesn't involve me unless it involves Evie and as there's no relationship between the two, I'm hardly concerned with who Cuddy might choose to replace Lucas."

"Alright, House," Wilson accepted. He was not surprised House was scarred from what had happened with Cuddy. And while he was relieved to know House really didn't see any future with her and wasn't holding out hope there, he wasn't so sure how to read House's clear disinterest in ever being with someone else. He knew there were some things House would never confide in him and he even believed that was probably for the best. But he hoped he'd find someone to confide in when the time came to do so.

Chase popped his head out of the kitchen. "Hi guys. The burgers and fries are ready."

House and Wilson got to their feet and House grabbed Evie's carrier while Wilson headed with Evie towards Chase. He directed them into the dining room and House sat down, placing the carrier next to him for when Wilson handed her back.

Cameron and Chase were occupied bringing food and drinks to the table but Chase asked, "So, any word on how Cuddy's doing since you left?"

Cameron came to a standstill and elbowed him while Wilson looked at House doubtfully.

House immediately rolled his eyes but then pursed his lips, intentionally not looking Wilson's way when he admitted, "Evelyn took her to the doctor yesterday and they're fine-tuning her meds to combat the depression. Other than that, I really don't know anything."

"I thought you were done with this?" Cameron asked in confusion, somewhat nervous that House was keeping tabs on Cuddy.

House shot her a droll look. "I am. But that doesn't mean I don't talk to Evelyn. She's Evie's grandma. I'm bound to hear a little of how Cuddy's doing when she calls to check in."

Wilson studied House thoughtfully but held his tongue.

"Does Cuddy's mom come over?" Chase asked as he pulled a chair out for Cameron before sitting next to her.

"No. She's too busy. Maybe once things calm down a little," House acknowledged, reaching for a can of pop.

Wilson was ready to talk about something other than Cuddy. "Are you ready to start your new job in a couple weeks?" he asked House.

House was not surprised and made no move to return to the subject of anything related to Cuddy. He shrugged. "I don't know. As ready as I'll ever be. I'm definitely ready to return to puzzles that don't involve baby behavior. But when is it ever fun to start a new job? The first couple weeks will all be related to training in hospital policy and procedures, getting to know people, and setting up shop, not to mention Evie's adjustment to daycare," House said pointedly, huffing out a breath as if to say he wasn't expecting that to be too enjoyable.

Cameron smiled. "Yeah, that could make life interesting," she agreed as he reached to take his daughter from Wilson and set her in her carrier.

"Hamburger or cheeseburger?" Chase asked Wilson first, extending the plate of steaming burgers his way.

House waited until Wilson had prepared his cheeseburger to his liking before stealing it from him. "Thanks," he declared smugly. "But you should have held off on the pickles."

Wilson rolled his eyes but reached for another burger without comment. "Would you like me to cut it for you too?" he asked dryly.

"Aw, thanks for the offer snookums, but I'm a big boy now," House quipped.

Chase chuckled, shaking his head as he grabbed a beer for himself. "Some people never grow up," he informed Wilson.

"Smart people stop expecting them to," House retorted.

* * *

House walked out to his car later that night with Wilson, who was carrying Evie for him.

"Can't you just ask Evelyn not to tell you about how Cuddy's doing?" Wilson asked, breaking the silence.

House looked at him, an eyebrow furled. "Why?"

Wilson sighed. "Wouldn't it be easier, not knowing?"

House shook his head. "I told you I'm not getting involved anymore. But… it's actually easier to have some clue about how she is doing. I don't think about it as much then. I don't have to be concerned about what might be going on unbeknownst to me. She's someone else's problem. And this way, if Evelyn needs advice or information, she can get it from someone who's been there throughout the majority of this mess."

"She could call me instead," Wilson suggested, as House took Evie's carrier and locked it into place.

House chuckled, somewhat amused that Wilson wanted to intercede for him or something. He tossed Evie's diaper bag in the car and closed the door before saying, "Quit worrying, Wilson. I'm moving on. Evelyn's not telling me anything I don't already know or expect."

"I don't want you to have anything to do with Cuddy anymore," Wilson replied honestly.

House sobered and stared at him for a minute. "You still blame yourself," he said then, as if acknowledging it to himself as well as to Wilson.

"What?" Wilson asked, shaking his head in dismissal of House's statement. "No!"

"You do. Only now that blame has multiplied," House repeated knowingly, sighing before he rubbed a hand over his face and leaned against the side of the car. "That's what this is about," he continued, shaking his head. "I understood your objection to my request that the termination of her parental rights be put off a year. There are always risks in things like that. But I couldn't figure out why you were so opposed to watching Evie so that I could go check on Cuddy after Cameron called in concern for her well-being. Or why you've been so adamant that I leave her to deal with the mess she's in and stay out of it. It didn't make any sense. You used to be her friend. If you were her friend, you wouldn't want to have her suffer. But then I needed you to be my friend and you chose what side of the line you were going to stand on. And I'm not complaining, because I needed you. I needed you on my side. But the way you've been acting lately… I don't believe that you don't care about her at all, even considering everything that's happened. And you've never been heartless. But since Evie, when it comes to Cuddy you flip out. You can't handle it. You're still feeling guilty about encouraging me to try for a relationship with her. That's partly why you're so eager to see me with someone new. But it goes even beyond that, doesn't it? You're scared, Wilson. YOU are scared."

"What are you talking about, House? I have nothing to be scared of!" Wilson adamantly replied, scoffing at House's statements. "I just want you to steer clear of Cuddy and move forward with your life. I want you and Evie to find some happiness…"

"You have this uncontrollable need to intervene on my behalf. You want to know that you've safeguarded me from getting hurt anymore. You couldn't protect me while she was pregnant because I wanted Evie and was willing to do whatever I had to. But now Evie's fine and Cuddy is out of the picture and you want to know that I'm free from it all; that what's done is done and I've left the past in the past. You want to know that she won't do any more damage to me. Wilson…" House broke off, looking at him.

"You're my best friend," he mumbled, avoiding House's gaze. "She's having a rough time of it. So what? Big deal. She deserves to get a sampling of hell after she dished it at you throughout her pregnancy."

House pursed his lips and looked at his friend, wondering what this whole saga had cost Wilson as well. "She's in hell, Wilson. She's been in hell for quite some time," he calmly settled on telling him.

"No she hasn't," Wilson disagreed. "She's been angry and taking it out on everyone else, blaming everyone for the fact that she's choosing to be miserable. If she was in hell, she'd be agonizing over what she's done to wind up where she's at. She'd feel guilty for how she's wronged you and abandoned your kid."

"Maybe someday she will," House murmured, acknowledging the possibility though he didn't want to have to think about what that would even look like or mean for him.

"And then you'll defend her! You'll accept her back into your life like she isn't accountable for any of the choices she's made!" Wilson declared angrily.

House stared at him, his brow furrowed in bewilderment. "I'm not defending what she's done! I'm not throwing her excuses! I'm not even sure how I'd feel if she were to come to me someday and ask if she could build a relationship with Evie. There are consequences to everything and as much as I care for Cuddy, I don't know that we could ever truly be a part of one another's lives like before. And I'm only talking about friendship! Wilson, I know better than you do the extent of the damages she and her actions have done to me and what she's costing my kid as well. But I am telling you that you're wrong in thinking she's not suffering. You're wrong if you think she hasn't paid enough and ought to suffer more. And you're wrong in this misguided belief of yours that by Cuddy getting help and getting better, that I will inherently get worse."

Wilson didn't say anything in reply and the silence stretched between them. House glanced at Evie in the car then and realized he should probably get a move on. "Are we good?" he asked Wilson finally.

He sighed dramatically but nodded. "I don't know that you're right in your interpretation of me, but I'm fine. And, I'll think about it," he quietly finished.

"Of course I'm right," House dryly quipped, an inkling of a smile touching upon the corner of his mouth now that this was behind them. "I'm always right."

Wilson shrugged and waved House on towards the driver's seat, knowing he should take off before Evie woke up hungry again. "I'll see you later," he told him, reaching in his own pocket for his key fob.

"Always a pleasure, Wilson. Always a pleasure," House taunted him before shutting his car door and starting the engine.

* * *

October 23rd, 2010

"Lisa, what would you like for breakfast?" Evelyn asked, poking her head in the doorway with Rachel on her hip.

"I don't care," she replied from where she lay with her head buried under her pillow.

"Well, get up and get dressed," Evelyn firmly instructed. "Rachel and I are going to get breakfast ready. You probably have time for a shower too."

"Okay," she mumbled, not moving.

"I'm going to stand in this doorway until you get out of bed," Evelyn warned.

Cuddy groaned but threw the blankets aside so that she could push herself off the bed.

Satisfied, Evelyn left the room and headed to the kitchen to get breakfast started with Rachel happily chanting, "Pancakes, pancakes, pancakes!"

* * *

Cuddy headed for the bathroom and turned the shower on. She didn't really feel like doing anything yet, but the medication she was on definitely helped. She was able to find the energy she needed to get out of bed and take care of personal hygiene, though she was more than willing to leave Rachel in her mom's care. Frankly, she didn't trust herself with Rachel. She also thought Rachel was better off with her mother, who was calm and collected and…functioning. The medication made it so that Cuddy could now take care of her physical needs, but she was a long ways away from the woman she had been before giving birth, let alone the woman from a year ago.

Her mom tried to get her to open up and talk about things, but Cuddy just wasn't ready. The doctor had counseled her to find someone to talk to and confide in. He'd given her a list of people he recommended. And she knew enough to realize talking was one of the best things for people struggling with depression. She even accepted that she was now one of those people. She just didn't want to talk about anything. She didn't know how she felt about anything. All she felt right now was numb and she was good with numb because it allowed her to function physically without feeling the weight of everything upon her. She had very few goals right now. But Cuddy's main goal was to bury it all and move forward with her life, getting back to the point where she could return to work and once more dedicate herself to PPTH, and hopefully at some point, her daughter as well. She figured if she could accomplish that much, the rest would work itself out.

* * *

House had called Nolan the week before to set up an appointment with him. He wasn't sure why he'd done it but he thought it couldn't hurt and he did want to reconnect. Nolan had been surprised to hear from him but had quickly invited him to come on up to Mayfield and drop in. House took the exit from the highway and drove down the road, parking before climbing out to retrieve Evie and her diaper bag from the backseat. Nolan was about to get his share of surprises. House only hoped the good doc wouldn't have a heart attack when he found out that House was dabbling in fatherhood.

He nodded at several people he recognized from his own stay, realizing that it had only been shortly over a year ago that he'd been here himself, trying to pull the pieces of his life back together. Funny how a year later he had come back for a visit, once more trying to repair his life after a fallout. Knocking on Nolan's door, he waited to be granted entrance before turning the knob and stepping within.

Nolan got to his feet, pleased to see House. And then he caught sight of the baby and stopped in his tracks, bewildered by her presence.

"Is that… yours?" Nolan asked in confusion.

"No, I'm just babysitting and thought I'd bring her along for the two hour car ride here," House sarcastically replied.

Nolan studied him for a minute and then gestured to the seat across the desk from his own. "Would you like something to drink?" he asked, an eyebrow raised.

"No, I'm good," House replied, placing the diaper bag on the floor before setting Evie down momentarily to remove his jacket. Then he unbuttoned her coat and eased her out of it before picking her back up to sit down in the chair with her in his lap.

Nolan watched him, not knowing where to start. "How are you?" he finally asked, moving back around the desk to sit in his own chair across from House.

House shrugged. "Busy these days," was the only reply he could come up with.

"I imagine," Nolan agreed, his eyes going to the baby. "I would even hazard a guess that she's part of the reason I haven't heard from you the past eleven months."

House didn't reply and so Nolan asked, "Want to tell me about it?"

House smiled then, lifting Evie up to place her on his chest. "About where she came from?" he inquired quizzically.

"That does interest me, yes," Nolan replied dryly.

"Well you see, when people have sex, sometimes the egg and the sperm…" House began somberly.

Nolan interrupted. "Thank you but how about we go back even farther and you tell me how you met her mother and how you even managed to find a woman who would allow you to get to third base," he caustically threw back at him.

House laughed, suddenly glad he had come. He and Nolan had come a long way together and it helped a lot that Nolan knew how to put House at ease and also keep him interested in talking via wit and humor. The baby moved on his chest and he automatically reached down for her diaper bag, fishing out a bottle of formula he'd prepared in advance and hoped she'd settle for at whatever temperature it was now at. Once he had her in the crook of his arm, the bottle in her mouth, he refocused on Nolan and sobered before saying, "I slept with my boss."

"Dr. Cuddy?" Nolan asked in surprise.

"Yep, that's the one," House quipped, nodding.

"I thought last time we talked you told me she was involved with someone," Nolan inquired, leaning forward in his chair.

"Yeah well, she was until Christmas Eve," House replied. "Then he ended it while I was over at her place."

"Let me guess," Nolan began. "You had something to do with that."

House laughed. "It was all a big misunderstanding," he wittily declared.

"I'll just bet it was," Nolan said. "Now, why don't you tell me all about it?"

"Can I give you the condensed version?" House asked hopefully. "I mean, I don't know about you but I've got a kid with a mind of her own here and the detailed version would take a week to explain."

"The condensed version it is," Nolan acquiesced, nodding for House to continue.

* * *

House drove home that night, thinking about his conversation with Nolan. He laughed at how Nolan had looked at him after hearing about the circumstances of Cuddy's pregnancy and the agreement he'd made, shaking his head and saying, "Well, you do have a way of digging yourself more holes to climb out of."

House hadn't even informed him of how they'd continued to have sex throughout her pregnancy. He had known that would lead to questions of how he'd been able to cope with that, which would have in turn led to just how he'd FAILED to cope with that, which would lead to a confession he hadn't made to anyone yet and was not anywhere near doing, the shame and humiliation that might stir up within him keeping him from being so vulnerable. Not to mention he really didn't want Nolan to tell him he'd engaged in self-destructive behavior. He didn't need anyone else to tell him that. He knew it. He knew that it would have consequences for some time to come, at least. And somehow he doubted it being a self-destructive behavior with time constraints would make much of a difference to Nolan. He didn't want him to think he might be in need of a return trip to Mayfield, this time for longer than a couple hours.

But it had actually helped to talk about it with someone who hadn't been present and hadn't been personally invested in what was going on. And Nolan had encouraged him, even applauded him for how he'd strived to get his life on track and managed to survive a hard trial without turning back to booze or Vicodin when it would have been easy enough to do as a means of escape from what was going on in his life.

Evie had started to cry at 5 p.m. and Nolan had to leave anyway, so they'd closed up their time together with Evie's birth, intending to pick up where they left off when House was next available to meet. Nolan hadn't really tried to counsel him. At this point he was more interested in letting House get his story out and had only asked questions to clarify certain details, rather than probing to see how House felt about things. But House knew that was coming. And that was okay. Still, he was glad Nolan had just listened. If he had interrupted early on, they would never have gotten as far as they did. House had a week and a half before their next appointment, not having wanted to do the drive sooner than that. He hoped that next time would go just as smoothly.

* * *

October 26th, 2010

House was driving home from the grocery store with Evie in the backseat when his phone rang. He dug it out of his pocket and answered after identifying the caller. Before he could even say hello, Cuddy's mom agitatedly announced, "I don't know what to do here, Greg. She's been crying all day. Tell me what to do."

House closed his eyes, rubbing his forehead tiredly. He could hear Cuddy crying in the background and he wanted to intercede, even wanted to turn the car in the direction of her house; but he felt like he couldn't anymore. He had a daughter to think of and both Wilson and Cameron were holding him accountable to focus on what was in his best interest and in Evie's best interest. Cuddy couldn't be his primary concern any longer. "Did she take her meds?" he asked anyway.

"Yes, but they don't seem to be helping as much today. She won't even talk to me. She just keeps on crying. I don't know what to do," Evelyn despondently declared.

House thought a moment, trying to think of what made Cuddy happy. Work was out of the question. Lucas was history. That left the rugrat. "Is she spending any time with Rachel?" he asked.

"Not really," Evelyn admitted. "Lisa just doesn't seem ready to be with her yet. So I haven't forced her. I've just been happy to see her get out of bed to make herself presentable and to have her eat without an argument when I bring her trays at mealtimes."

He sighed and said, "But she's still isolated. Don't let her do that. Keep her involved. Bring Rachel to her. If Cuddy doesn't like it, be stern with her. I know you are her mother and right now you might think she needs coddling, but do it. Tell her that Rachel's her kid and she has to pull herself together for her sake. Cuddy needs something to take her mind off her depression. Being confronted with Rachel's needs should help a little and it will allow Cuddy to have a piece of her life back. You'll be there to make sure things don't get out of control. But Evelyn, you have to crack down on her. Cuddy needs you. She needs to go into therapy too. Bring it up. If she's not open to it, remind her that soon enough she'll be desperate to have her life back. She won't want you there forever, nor will she want to be on leave much longer. Do you think you can do that?"

"Yes. I can. I just… I'm scared of pushing too hard. I don't want to force her into anything," Evelyn admitted. "I'm… worried that she's already on the brink of a complete meltdown."

"I know, but right now I imagine Cuddy needs some pushes in the right direction. And until she decides to seek someone out and talk about everything, how about you try and motivate her to exercise, get some sunshine, lots of sleep, eat balanced meals, the whole bit? Don't let her overdo it but she's gotta put some work into this to dig herself back out. Cuddy's always been big on taking care of herself and exercise will help give her some self-esteem back," House told her, his mind on that day the weekend prior in her bathroom when she'd come out of nowhere and commented about the state her body was in. He wished there was more he could do but there really wasn't. "That's about the best I can do for you," he admitted.

"Okay," Evelyn agreed slowly, pulling herself together. "I know you're right and I'll do what I can to motivate her. I just… Sometimes I think as much as she acts like she hates you now, deep down, its you she wants."

"Evelyn, I don't know. I don't think so. But even if she did, I just can't keep running to her side every time," House replied, glancing back at Evie in the backseat via the rearview mirror and the mirror thingy he'd bought following Wilson's suggestion that he get one. "She doesn't appreciate me for it and it's not all that healthy for Evie or me either."

"Maybe she'd want to talk to you, though," Evelyn suggested uncertainly.

"I doubt it but it doesn't really matter," House said without emotion, though it was hard for him to be cold even after all he'd been through. "Even if she did, our paths have diverged. I can't…I can't be there anymore."

Evelyn sighed. "Alright, Greg. Thank you for answering and helping me out," Evelyn quietly murmured, her heart yearning for the two of them, both of whom she loved and both of them so broken. She wanted to wrap her arms around the two of them and bring the healing they both so desperately needed, into being, but she didn't know nor understand all that had happened to bring them to this point.

"It's fine," House said. "Do you need anything? Are you okay on groceries?"

"Yes, but I'm kind of hoping to talk Lisa into going with me to the store in a few days. It would be good for her to get out," she replied.

"You're right. It would be," House acknowledged. "You'll let me know if you get a chance to come over?"

Evelyn smiled. "Absolutely," she quickly responded.

"Do you have a pen and paper? My cell phone will be cancelled in a few days and I should probably give you the new number," he remembered.

"Go ahead," she encouraged, pen at the ready.

House listed it off and then said goodbye before he hung up the phone. He focused on where he was and realized he had headed away from his house and towards Cuddy's without ever thinking about it. That knowledge made his chest ache. He was already right around the corner from her.

The desire to go to Cuddy was strong. He was so close. But he turned around in a driveway and headed for home once again, knowing that this wasn't his battle anymore. He wouldn't do it. He couldn't do it. Cuddy had made her decisions and he had made his. Now he had to stick to his guns. He only wished it wasn't so hard. All that talking with Nolan about all that had gone wrong between them had just stirred up all he'd wished to go right. He thought of the Cuddy he'd known before, the one who would chase him down to yell at him for risky procedures or who hunted him down at the park when he was avoiding clinic hours. It seemed so long ago. And nothing was the same without that Cuddy in his life. But then House reminded himself that nothing had been all that great with Cuddy in his life either, for months now. Everything between them was…a disaster; a mess of gray from where black and white had swirled together, every other color fading out. Maybe over time things would brighten back up again for both of them, without the other one there to complicate things.

-----

"_**Yesterday I got lost in the circus  
Feeling like such a mess  
Now I'm down  
I'm just hanging on the corner  
I can't help but reminisce**_

_**'Cause when you're gone  
All the colors fade  
When you're gone  
No New Year's Day parade  
You're gone  
Colors seem to fade**_

_**Your mama called, she said  
That you're downstairs crying  
Feeling like such a mess  
Yeah, I hear you  
In the background bawling  
What happened**_

_**To your sweet summertime dress**_

_**I know we all  
We all got our faults  
We get locked in our vaults  
And we stay**_

_**But when you're gone  
All the colors fade  
When you're gone  
No New Year's Day parade  
You're gone  
Colors seem to fade  
Colors seem to fade**_

_**Yeah"**_

* * *

Song: "Colors" (Amos Lee)


	43. Cradlesong

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I LOVE EVELYN!! Have I mentioned that? Super long chapter ahead! Sorry! :))_

* * *

Evelyn hung up the phone and went to check on Rachel, who was napping, before she headed down to her daughter's room. She knocked lightly on the door but walked in without waiting.

Cuddy was sitting on the bed, her legs drawn up under her with her back to the headboard. She reached for the box of Kleenex beside her and took another, blowing her nose.

Evelyn sank down on the bed next to her. Rather than talk about her tears, she moistened her lips and said, "When Rachel wakes up, I'm going to bring her to you."

Cuddy shook her head. "No. She's fine with you."

"I'm her grandma," Evelyn replied. "I love her very much. But you're her mother. And she needs you."

"She doesn't need me," Cuddy negated. "I'm not a fit parent anymore. She needs a mother who has it together, who will put her needs first and be able to raise her with the love, affection, and attention that she needs. She's getting that from you."

"Honey, I'm not her mom. I'm your mom. And to be your mom right now I have to put your needs first and support you through this with the love, affection, and attention you need. But I also have to step back and remember that just because I'm your mother and would do anything I could to make life easier and spare you pain, doesn't mean that doing so would be in your best interest," Evelyn quietly acknowledged.

"So you're just going to abandon Rachel?! You're going to leave me to mess things up for her as well? After I could have killed her? After she could have died from dehydration because I couldn't pull myself together long enough to clean house and make sure she was living in sanitary conditions?" Cuddy declared angrily.

Evelyn looked at her in utter confusion. "What are you talking about? She had food poisoning, for heaven's sake. People get food poisoning all the time. How is that your fault?"

Cuddy scooted down on the bed and turned away, tears coursing down her cheeks. "She had rotavirus," she whispered.

"Rotavirus?" Evelyn repeated, trying to muddle through this. "Well honey, rotavirus isn't all that uncommon amongst children, is it? Kids get rotavirus all the time, especially kids in daycare."

"But Rachel wasn't in daycare. She wasn't around anyone else. She was with me and I failed to keep her safe," Cuddy replied softly, sniffing.

Evelyn rolled her eyes and reached for her daughter, laying a hand on her arm and rubbing her affectionately. She pursed her lips and then out of nowhere, she remembered one of her own failures. Sighing, she quietly shared, "One time when you and Julia were little, it was fall and I took you both outside to play. Then the phone rang so I ran inside to answer it and got distracted. We didn't have cordless phones back then and we were living in that old farmhouse that was set far back from the road so I never thought twice about it. You were probably only outside by yourselves for a couple minutes but when I came back out, Julia was sitting on the steps alone and I couldn't see you anywhere. I grabbed Julia and started running around the yard, looking for you. You were only three. I figured, how far could you really go? But you weren't in the yard. And I was frantic. I saw the neighbor outside next door and yelled for help. She came over and took Julia for me and then went to search her yard while I headed for the woods behind our house. Even now, just thinking about it, my heart beats fast and I feel the panic that swept over me back then. I thought for sure your dad was going to come home and I'd have to confess that I'd lost you and that I didn't know where you were, if you were hurt, or if you were even still alive. There was a pond at the far end of the woods and I was terrified I'd find your little body floating in it."

Cuddy turned over to look at her mom and handed her a tissue from her stockpile, as Evelyn was now crying over the memory. She laughed hoarsely and then continued. "I found you ten minutes later. You had wandered off after a bird and gotten tangled in a wild rosebush that had snagged your sweater. That was back when you were going through your obsessive bird phase. Anyway, tears were streaming down your face because you couldn't get free and your little legs were covered in a rash from where you'd wandered into poison ivy along the way. You looked at me with these wounded eyes, as if I had completely failed you. And I couldn't blame you because I had," Evelyn mumbled somberly. "I was your mother. I was supposed to protect you. And I hadn't."

"I didn't waste a moment getting you free," she continued. "My hands were bleeding from the deep scratches I received from where the thorns tore at them in my struggle to get you out. But I didn't care because I felt like I deserved each one of them for taking my eyes off you in the first place. I ran home with you, just sobbing, feeling like I didn't deserve to have been entrusted with your care. I called your father and made him come home to take you to the doctor and get you treated. But I couldn't go with. I just…couldn't. That first week, I avoided you whenever I could. I'd watch you from across the room during the day but I stayed at a distance. And the minute your father came home, I left him in charge of both of you girls and buried myself in any and every household chore I could find. I… I just couldn't deal with the fact that I'd failed so miserably to protect you. And each time I had no choice but to put medication on your little legs, it was like a knife twisting in my chest. I'd done that to you. I'd left you vulnerable by walking away even for a second.

"Then one night almost a week and a half later, you refused to let your father tuck you in. You demanded that I was going to do it or you wouldn't go to bed. And you were such a stubborn little spitfire, even then. He had no doubt that you'd stick to your guns. Your father left your room and found me in the kitchen. I can remember the way he looked at me, all put-out, rubbing his face in consternation. He didn't mince words. He said, 'She's not just my daughter. She's yours too. And you are going to have to deal with her tonight because she's demanding you and I'm tired of fighting her. She's headstrong and utterly impossible! I don't care if she does get that from me. Tonight she's YOUR problem. So get over your issues and go to her!' What could I do? I couldn't argue with him. So I did. I went upstairs and hesitantly pushed your door open and you very firmly instructed me, 'Mama, I need a bedtime story and my kisses and hugs.' And that's when I realized that you'd already moved on and forgotten about it. I felt like you had every right in the world to hate me and wish yourself a new mama, but you didn't feel that way. You were already over it," Evelyn finished, shrugging as she dried her eyes and sniffed.

"I don't remember that at all," Cuddy admitted quietly.

"That's because you were three and all you cared about was bedtime stories, hugs and kisses," Evelyn replied, laughing softly. "And birds. Anyway, I've never really told you that story because I get all weepy whenever I think about it."

"Well," Cuddy said after a moment. "I think you're off the hook because I don't even remember it and so I doubt it affected me that much."

"It didn't," Evelyn agreed. "You were fine. I was the one traumatized by it. From that point on I had a hard time ever taking my eyes off of you. But do you see what I'm trying to say here? Sweetheart, Rachel's fine now. You got her to the hospital and they took care of it. Maybe… you messed up. I don't know. But parents mess up all the time! No one's perfect. And you expect way too much from yourself! You always have. The point is: you have to realize that in the end, you made sure Rachel's needs were met. You made sure she got treated. And Rachel, like you, isn't going to remember the time she had rotavirus. She's not going to hate you and wish for a new mama. She doesn't blame you. But right now, she needs you to step up to the plate and be her mama again. She needs you to give her hugs and kisses and read her bedtime stories. And she needs you to forgive yourself too, because she doesn't understand what's going on or why you don't seem interested in being with her. All she understands is that grandma is here now and grandma is willing to play with her, read to her, and spend time with her. But grandma needs to step back and realize that what Rachel needs is not grandma. Grandma is not always going to be here for her. But mama," Evelyn concluded, "mama better be."

"I'm not sure I can," Cuddy murmured then, looking down at the bedsheets. "I'm not sure I'm equipped anymore."

"Honey," Evelyn began, sighing. "You've been struggling just to survive for a while now. But the medication is actually helping you. And recovering, getting back to normal… it's just going to take time. And I'm not leaving. I'm not going anywhere. But honestly, you aren't going to want me around forever. You're going to want your life back. And when I leave, neither one of us wants Rachel to be devastated by my departure because she's become so attached to me that she doesn't know how to handle that. What she needs right now is to re-forge whatever bonds with you that used to be firmly in place. And that means you have to start participating in her life and not avoid it because you're scared you'll fail her again."

Cuddy stared at her mother, knowing she was right but still afraid that she wasn't capable of what her mother was asking of her.

"I'm going to be right here. I'm not abandoning you," Evelyn reminded her.

Cuddy slowly nodded. "Okay," she reluctantly agreed.

Evelyn looked away and then said, "Honey, I think you should consider following your doctor's advice and going in for counseling. I want you to be able to talk to me, but I know too that you're not ready and that you probably need someone who is outside of this and who can remain impartial to whatever you share."

"I don't want to talk to anyone," Cuddy immediately informed her, shaking her head in negation.

Evelyn returned her gaze to her daughter and tilted her head to study her a moment. "But you need to. Running from your problems is what brought you to this point. You can't hide from them forever. You have to face them. Once upon a time, you and your father forced me to confront one of mine. I don't want to think about where we'd be right now if either one of you had allowed me to keep running. And now I'm telling you to confront yours. Move forward but do it by healing the past."

Cuddy frowned but finally mumbled, "I'll think about it."

Evelyn nodded and then got to her feet only to see Rachel peeking in the doorway, her eyes still sleepy. "Looks like someone's here to see you," she said softly, holding a hand out for Rachel to come over to them before glancing at her daughter. "I'm going to go work on dinner while you two spend some time together," she informed her.

Cuddy hesitated, wanting to argue. But then she released her breath and nodded. "We'll call you if we need you," she murmured finally.

Evelyn lifted Rachel up onto the bed and Cuddy sat up, arranging pillows behind her for support.

Rachel looked from her mother to her grandmother, uncertainly.

"I'll go get you some books to read together," Evelyn said, tapping Rachel's nose before turning to leave the room. She dropped off a pile of books with them and then made her way back into the kitchen, hoping that this was a turning point for her daughter and things would only get better from here, no matter how long the journey would be.

* * *

October 31st, 2010

House didn't know how he'd been talked into it, but he was currently walking the streets with Trevor, who was dressed up as a pirate for Halloween. Erika had told him that Trevor wasn't sure about trick-or-treating, especially because of his legs, but he'd asked if House could take him and Erika had quickly called him up and offered to do an exchange with him, staying at her place with Evie to pass out candy to trick-or-treaters if he would go around with Trevor. He figured it had been a combination of Trevor's pleading and his own need to get out that had driven him to agree. He had no intention of passing out candy at his own place and so he had concluded it beat hanging out at home with a baby who would startle every time hopeful trick-or-treaters rang the doorbell. Plus, he figured Trevor would grow weary of all the walking before he did, though he was beginning to think this kid really was quite motivated by candy and the imminent promise of a sugar rush and therein, might just surprise him. They'd already covered four blocks. He was just thankful he'd brought his cane, just in case.

House was waiting at the end of a driveway when he overheard two kids laughing and talking about the "gimpy pirate." He sighed dramatically and focused on Trevor who was in the midst of passing them by on his way back down to House.

"Hey Gimp," one of the kids called out. "I've never seen a pirate walk like that! You look like you got in a fight with Captain Hook's crocodile! Ar, matey, did Peter Pan force you to walk your own plank?"

The other kid laughed but Trevor made no reply, the eye that wasn't covered by a patch downcast as he concentrated on where he was walking.

House waited for him, not sure how to intervene or what there was to say. The kid had to learn to deal with brats and people who were stupid. It was just part of life.

"Can we go home?" Trevor mumbled when he reached House's side.

"Are you kidding me?" House asked in mock surprise. "Your pillowcase isn't even at the halfway point!"

Trevor shrugged. "I don't really feel like trick-or-treating anymore."

"Tough, kid," House replied quite seriously. "Because I NEED you to fill that bag with enough candy to tide us over until next year, at least!"

Trevor looked up at him in concern. "But they'll just make fun of me. Didn't you hear what that kid said?"

"I heard," House told him, shrugging like it didn't matter. "But you aren't going to let one idiot keep you from stocking my shelves, are you? I mean, I NEED candy!"

"You could buy some," Trevor suggested, kicking at a rock on the ground.

House shook his head. "Not when these people with lots of moolah are practically giving it away by the truckload," he sarcastically replied.

Trevor thought about it. He looked back in the direction of where they lived and then he looked in the direction of where the two boys were now. His mouth pursed as he tried to make a decision.

"Maybe we'll be able to find out where they live and egg their houses," House added, only half joking.

"You'd do that?" Trevor asked, the corner of his mouth going up to form a half-smile.

"You think we could convince your mom to part with some eggs?" House inquired thoughtfully, his finger against his lips as if he was pondering the idea.

"Not if she knew why," Trevor replied soberly, shaking his head.

House looked up at the sky and then sighed before asking, "Really? You don't think we could talk her into it?"

"Mom says you can't change the way people are by striking out at them. She says you have to change the way they are through education and helping them see things from your perspective," Trevor relayed, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"So egging their houses wouldn't do any good?" House probed, his face reflecting his disappointment.

Trevor shook his head. "No. Mom says that's how wars are started," he told him confidentially.

House laughed, picturing Erika glaring at him from her front lawn, her house and trees tee-peed with toilet paper. Finally he proffered another idea, "But there's nothing to say we can't show 'em up by getting more candy than they do."

Trevor looked quite pleased at that idea. He looked down into his pillowcase and said, "I think I already have more than they did. People feel sorry for me and give me extra candy."

"Well, work it to your advantage," House encouraged, thinking Erika would kill him for this and… liking the idea. He hadn't had a good fight with a woman in a long time. "How about we be as pathetic as possible and see how much sympathy we can get?" he suggested shamelessly.

Trevor considered it and then nodded. "Alright. Maybe we'll have to go home for another pillowcase!"

House seriously hoped by that time, Trevor would be tired out. He really didn't want to cover the whole neighborhood on foot. All the same, he nodded in agreement. "Sounds like a plan. Now let's get to it!"

The next hour was spent trekking the neighborhood, House walking up with Trevor to each house with both of them doing their best to appear crippled wretches whenever someone was watching from the doorway, waiting for them to get up to the door. An hour later they passed the boy who had picked on Trevor, sitting down on the corner with his friend while they looked through their bags and compared their hauls, trying to decide who had more candy.

"Really? That's all the candy you boys got?" House asked in passing, shaking his head in disappointment. "Wow. Sucks to be you!"

Trevor looked at him gleefully, his mother not allowing him to use the word "suck." Then he ignored the boys but turned to House and said, "Man, House! This pillowcase is REALLY heavy. I think we better go home and get another one."

"You're right. In fact, we should probably get two. With as much candy as you're getting from people, we'll need at least two more," House acknowledged in agreement.

The two boys just stared after them as they walked away, their mouths open in disbelief.

"I'm exhausted kid. Can we go home and call it a night?" House muttered under his breath once he was sure the boys wouldn't overhear him.

"Yeah," Trevor replied. "But could you help me carry this? There's no way I can carry it all the way home," he replied in exhaustion.

House chuckled but reached for the straining pillowcase, hoping it wouldn't rip before they got there.

* * *

Evelyn returned to the house with Rachel, after having taken her up and down the block trick-or-treating. Lisa had begged off from accompanying them and Evelyn had accepted her desire to stay home under the condition that she answer the door and pass out candy.

When they got home, she opened the front door and Rachel raced in, her cow tail swinging behind her as she ran into the living room and threw herself at her mother. "Candy!" she informed her gleefully. "I got lotsa candy!"

Evelyn smiled and waited at the door for the next batch of kids she'd seen at the neighbor's house to stick a couple candy bars in each of their bags before heading into the living room.

"What's wrong?" she asked, coming to a standstill in the living room at the sight of her daughter, holding Rachel and admiring her little pumpkin full of candy with a tear-streaked face.

"Nothing," Cuddy replied, not willing to go into how she'd opened the door to find a couple trick-or-treaters accompanied by their mother who was holding a six-month old baby in her arms, dressed in a little pea costume. She didn't understand why she reacted as strongly as she did, but all the same, it had sent her running as soon as she'd passed out candy to the kids.

"Are you sure?" Evelyn probed thoughtfully.

Cuddy nodded. "I think I'm probably just reacting to all the social interaction. It's a bit overwhelming after being inside so much and away from people," she proffered as an excuse.

Evelyn frowned but finally nodded. "You should probably get out more," she said then. "Maybe you should start running again. That would help." She didn't add that it would boost her mood at the same time, thinking that might be more than Lisa needed to hear at the moment.

"I called PPTH earlier today and set up an appointment for the 1st of November with Dr. Milton, one of our psychiatrists who returned last week from another stint at the South Pole," she informed her mom, avoiding her gaze as she concentrated on opening the M&M pack Rachel had passed her, her little hand up expectantly.

Evelyn nodded, surprised but pleased. "That's great honey. I'm glad you're going to open up to someone. I think that will really help."

Cuddy nodded, biting her lip as she doled out five M&M's to her daughter. "I guess time will tell," she acknowledged, pressing a kiss to Rachel's forehead.

"Have you talked with anyone at the hospital about when you will be returning?" Evelyn inquired next.

"That's why I called Dr. Milton. One of the board members called to ask when I'd be back. I told him I'd like to return on the 15th," Cuddy replied.

Evelyn's eyebrows shot up. "That's… soon!"

Her daughter looked up at her and shrugged. "I need something to do with all my time. I need to go back to work. I've been gone a long time. PPTH can't survive with an Interim Administrator forever."

Evelyn slowly nodded. "Okay. Maybe you're right. Maybe you need this. And I'm here to help with Rachel but did you call Stephanie back? Did you let her know when you want her to return?"

"I called the agency I used to hire her in the first place. I'm just not ready to have anyone other than you here yet. Do you mind? They said they've got some options for her until I need her again and that they'd call her and talk with her about it," Cuddy continued.

"I'm here as long as you want me to be," Evelyn assured her, turning when the doorbell rang again with another group of trick-or-treaters.

Cuddy sighed and watched her mother go, thankful that slowly but surely, there was some hope that her life was piecing back together. She didn't know how things would go with Dr. Milton, and she was worried about re-entering the hospital and any questions that might come her way, but she knew she needed her job and she also knew she couldn't hide indefinitely. She just hoped that she'd be able to press onward, taking it a day at a time until she'd achieved some measure of normalcy again. Cuddy figured that was all she could do.

* * *

"Mom! Mom! Look at all the candy I got!" Trevor excitedly declared as they entered the house. She looked up from where she was changing Evie's diaper and stared at the pillow in horrified fascination. There was NO way she was going to let Trevor eat all that garbage! Not when she'd be the one who had to fix his teeth from all that sugar.

House laughed at the expression on her face as he set the pillowcase aside. "Looks like we got back not a moment too soon," he quipped, able to smell the diaper from where he stood.

"That reeks, mom!" Trevor piped in.

House chuckled and ruffled the kid's hair.

"How did you get all that candy?" Erika asked, still in shock. "What did you do?! Rob a candy store?!"

"No!" Trevor happily negated, practically bobbing about in his excitement. "House and I just made people feel bad for us and they gave me THREE TIMES what they were giving the other kids!"

Erika's eyes shot wide open and she looked from Trevor to the pillowcase of candy to House, who was looking away, trying to bite back a smirk.

"You did what?" she asked quietly.

"We made them feel bad for us and…" Trevor repeated.

"No," she interrupted, fastening Evie's diaper before fixing her clothes and getting to her feet. "I heard you the first time. I meant to ask, why?! Why did you play on people's sympathy?"

"Because there were these two boys and they were laughing at me. So we decided we'd beat them by getting more candy than they did! And it worked! I had WAY more candy than they did!" Trevor enthusiastically answered, his head bobbing up and down.

She rubbed a hand over her face before drolly saying, "Trevor, there's a Charlie Brown special on TV. Why don't you go watch it for awhile?"

"Can I eat some of my candy?" he asked hopefully.

"Fine, but only five pieces," she determined, sighing resignedly before handing Evie to House and heading for the kitchen.

House bypassed Trevor as he was digging through his candy bag.

"What do you want, House? I've got all different kinds!" Trevor called to him before he could leave the foyer.

"Uh… how about a Snicker and whatever your mom likes?" House replied, turning back to the kid.

Trevor handed him a full-size Snicker candy bar and then a handful of Reese's Peanut Butter cups. "You gonna win her over so that she doesn't yell at me later?" Trevor inquired softly, knowing his mom was sending him to watch TV so that she could work through this without yelling at him.

"I'll do my best, kid," House replied conspiringly through the corner of his mouth before he turned and followed after her, candy in hand.

House tucked the candy into his pocket before holding Evie far out in front of him as a barrier while turning the corner into her kitchen. "Is it safe?" he dramatically called out. "I've got a baby and I'm not afraid to use her."

Erika watched him enter the kitchen with Evie out like a shield, doing her best not to smile. "Nice," she quipped, rolling her eyes. "Offer your infant up as a sacrifice."

House laughed. "Kid has to earn her keep somehow," he wryly replied, bringing Evie back in towards his chest and wrapping his arm up between her legs and across her chest to hold her securely, her back to him.

"What are you teaching my kid?" Erika asked then, shaking her head in frustration.

"Um… that mom's right and throwing eggs at other people's houses does carry the potential of starting wars that are easier avoided by outdoing another kid's candy haul?" House suggested tediously.

She tilted her head down and glared at him from under her eyebrows.

"Can you just get to the yelling part?" he asked then, squinting at her.

"I was thinking I'd forego the yelling part and go for the beating you with my rolling pin part," she dryly retorted, crossing her arms over her chest.

House dug in his pocket hurriedly and pulled out all the Reese's Trevor had handed him, quickly moving to the island near her and tossing them down. "Can I appease you with chocolate?" he whined. "Who can resist a little chocolate?! Chocolate makes the world go round! Chocolate makes everything better! If only the world's leaders would open their eyes, chocolate could be the healing balm our world needs today! Oh chocolate, how we need you!" House dramatically continued, seeing her mouth fight to remain one firm line.

Erika puffed out a breath, squinting at him and wrinkling her nose before reaching out for a chocolate, unwrapping it to pop it in her mouth and let it melt on her tongue.

House decided he had won. "And chocolate saves the day!" he declared brightly, lifting Evie back up in victory.

"Not so fast, slick," Erika muttered. "Tell me about what happened with the kids."

House sobered and shrugged. "This kid called Trevor a gimpy pirate and said something about how he looked like he'd tangled with a crocodile and lost. Asked if Peter Pan had forced him to walk his own plank."

"And Trevor heard, obviously. What did he do?" she asked, in the process of unwrapping another chocolate.

"He didn't do anything. He looked at the ground and made his way back to me, wanting to go home. He was going to let them ruin his day," House replied, annoyed at that fact.

"And what did you say? How did you convince him to not throw in the towel and come home?" Erika asked skeptically, wiping her hands before reaching to take Evie from him because she didn't think he was adequately supporting her head.

House released the baby to her and said, "I argued that we didn't have enough candy yet and he suggested I go buy some if I needed more. I told him he couldn't call it quits because of one idiot who said something stupid."

"You called the kid an idiot?" she interrupted, her mouth falling open in disbelief.

House shrugged. "The kid WAS an idiot. He's probably being raised by idiots. The world is FULL of idiots!" House stated adamantly.

"But that doesn't mean I want Trevor thinking they're all idiots and treating them that way!" she declared argumentatively.

"But they're idiots! How else are you going to treat them?" House countered, enjoying her irritation with him. "You can't treat an idiot like he's a genius! You have to deal with them according to their intelligence level."

She sighed dramatically. "Let's move on," she decided. "After you called the kid an idiot, what did Trevor say?"

"He didn't say anything. He was thinking it over. So I suggested that maybe we'd find out where they live and…egg their houses," House concluded.

"Great," Erika replied. "Just great. You really ARE an 8 year old trapped in an adult body."

"An adult body you eye with interest," House provoked, wagging his eyebrows suggestively.

Erika rolled her eyes but pursed her lips in such a way that he opted to read it as a half-smile. "What did my son say to that brilliant idea?" she inquired, not sure whether to dread his answer or remain hopeful that she'd been successful in teaching Trevor SOMETHING that would counteract her neighbor's "brilliant" schemes.

House sighed as if depressed by what he next had to tell her. "He said his mother would never approve and spouted some philosophy you've brainwashed him into believing about how wars are started that way or some such nonsense. And he said something about changing people through education and helping them see things from your perspective."

Erika smiled proudly until House threw in for good measure, "The kid is totally deluded. But I guess that's his mother's fault."

"Are you saying his mother is an idiot?" she asked, an eyebrow quirked.

House studied her and then scratched the back of his head as he frowned. Thoughtfully he replied, "Well, when you say it like that… I mean, you're the one who's saying so. Will you hurt me if I agree with you?"

"I most certainly will," she replied stoically, nodding as she adjusted Evie in her arms to free one hand and form a fist.

"Then no," House readily responded, taking a step back. "She's certainly not an idiot."

"What is she?" Erika asked sharply, her eyes narrowed.

"Uh… the crazy lady with a death-grip on my kid?" he offered, looking down at Evie as if to make sure she was still breathing.

"Mom, can you make me some popcorn?" Trevor interrupted, stepping into the kitchen hesitantly.

House shot him a relieved look, which Erika did not fail to observe. She nodded without comment and House quickly stepped forward to take his kid before dramatically turning and creeping out of the kitchen with random fearful glances over his shoulder and back at her, causing Trevor to laugh and Erika to call out, "Coward!"

"Whew!" House declared to Trevor as he collapsed on the couch and the kid sat down next to him. "I thought she was going to skin me alive!"

"Did she give you that look where her eyes cross and her cheeks get all red and blotchy before steam seems to pour out her ears?" Trevor asked in curiosity.

"No," House slowly replied, shaking his head in bemusement.

"Eh, then she wasn't all that mad anyway," Trevor assured him, his attention shifting back to the TV screen as the commercial break ended.

House's forehead knit together as he thought over that little piece of information. Intrigued, he wondered just what he'd have to do to attain that kind of reaction from his lovely neighbor. Smirking, he sat there deep in thought until Erika entered with a bowl of popcorn and eyed him warily. Then he wiped the smirk off and made a production of checking on Evie until Erika joined them on the couch, only getting up on occasion to pass out candy to some of the later trick-or-treaters.

* * *

November 1st, 2010

Cuddy nervously left her car in the PPTH parking lot by the Psychiatry wing and entered via a side door to avoid as many people as she could. She'd taken her time getting ready and was relieved to be back in her pre-pregnancy clothes, even finding them a little loose, because even though she wasn't working and wouldn't be in the portion of the hospital she normally spent her time in, it helped to dress as if she was working and come off as professional as possible upon her re-entry into her workplace.

She greeted anyone who hailed her, but thankfully she didn't really run into many people who would normally ask her questions that might result in conversation she was not yet up to. The Psychiatry wing was much calmer and less occupied. Taking a deep breath she pulled open the door to Kate Milton's office and checked in with the secretary, who introduced herself as Linda. Then she took a seat and waited to be called.

Dr. Milton came out a moment later, holding the door open for her. "Hey Dr. Cuddy, it's so nice to see you again. It's been a long time."

Cuddy stood up and walked through the door, a hesitant smile on her face. "You too, Dr. Milton," she replied automatically.

"Have a seat. And please, call me Kate. I don't really stand on formality here," she told her as she pulled the door closed. "Would you mind if I called you Lisa or would you prefer to be addressed by your title?"

Cuddy thought about it. Other than her family and Lucas, very few people ever called her by her first name. But if she was to address Dr. Milton as Kate, she thought she might as well go by Lisa. Besides, standing on a formality might prove counter-productive if she wanted Kate to be able to interact with her like any other patient, rather than her boss. "Lisa will be fine," she said finally.

"Perfect. Would you like something to drink before we get started?" Kate asked, wanting to put her at ease.

Cuddy shook her head as she sat down in the chair before Kate's desk.

"Okay," Kate agreed, moving around the desk to take a seat. "How about you tell me why you decided to come and see me?"

This was the dreaded question that Cuddy had been waiting for but still didn't really have an answer perfectly formulated to answer. She bit her lip momentarily but then asked, "If we're going to do this, can we do it at my pace?"

Kate looked at her in surprise but nodded reassuringly. "Certainly. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to and if you get uncomfortable, you can stop and let me know that."

Cuddy nodded and released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. "Then I'd like to give a brief overview but not have you ask any questions right off the bat. Okay?"

Kate nodded and gave her an encouraging smile. "Go for it," she said then.

Cuddy licked her lips and nodded to indicate she would before focusing on her lap as she said, "I was in a relationship with a guy named Lucas. We were engaged and supposed to get married at the end of last February. But at Christmas, he broke it off. I didn't want it to end. But… after that, I couldn't find him and I didn't know how to handle that. I made a bad call and… slept with someone else only days later. And when Lucas finally called me, I was still with the other man. I went to his apartment and tried to talk him into staying in a relationship with me, but he said it had to be over and I needed to sort through my feelings for the other guy. I didn't want that. I wanted Lucas. But now he didn't want me. I felt like my life was out of control. And then I found out I was pregnant."

Cuddy's words dropped off then and Kate waited for her to continue. She decided to give Lisa a moment to figure out where she wanted to go from here, respecting her request that she just listen and not ask questions. If she didn't continue on her own, Kate would decide how to proceed.

Five minutes passed before Cuddy looked up and met her eyes. "Can we talk about my daughter?" she asked softly.

Kate smiled and nodded. "Sure we can."

* * *

House opened the door with Evie in his arms and motioned for Evelyn to come in, ruffling Rachel's hair as she passed.

Evelyn smiled affectionately at him and then declared, "Swap babies with me, Greg. Grandma Cuddles wants to get her hands on that precious little thing."

House smiled and handed Evie over to her grandma as soon as she set Rachel down on the floor. Then he scooped Rachel up and tossed her in the air until she giggled and squealed. He shut the door and turned to follow Evelyn into the living room, Rachel clinging tightly to his neck with one arm while she happily patted his stubble.

"So what's Cuddy up to that you finally managed to come for a visit?" he inquired.

"She has an appointment with a psychiatrist at PPTH," she informed him casually, her eyes focused on the baby in her arms as she sat down on the couch.

House's eyebrows rose at that piece of news but he didn't comment further, nor ask any more questions, content to know she'd somehow come to the decision that therapy might be beneficial to her. "Are you hungry?" he asked instead.

"We just ate," Evelyn said at the exact same time as Rachel grabbed his face by his cheeks and turned his head slightly to the left to see him. "I'm hungry!" she declared. "You have cookies?"

Evelyn laughed as House pretended to think it over. "I… might have some cookies," he acknowledged at length. "But what did you eat for lunch today?"

"Mac and cheese!" she replied excitedly.

"If it's alright with you, it's alright with me," Evelyn told him. "But just a couple cookies, Rachel," she instructed her grandchild.

Rachel nodded solemnly and then looked back at House, pleadingly.

House carted her off to the kitchen and opened the door to the pantry, fishing some cookies out of a package a minute later and dropping them in her extended hand.

"Fanks," she told him around a mouthful of cookie.

House shook his head. "Just don't make a mess," he told her, giving her a mock-glare.

Her eyes grew wide and she slowly nodded.

House set her down and watched her skip off towards the living room before calling to Evelyn, "Do you want something to drink?"

"I'm good," she replied.

House opened the fridge and grabbed a Coke for himself before heading back to the living room. He stared at the three of them, Rachel leaning on Evelyn's knee, munching on her cookie while looking at the baby her grandma was talking softly to. It was strange how right this felt.

Popping the tab on his Coke, he limped to the couch and sat down with them. "How is she?" he hesitantly asked after a minute or two.

Evelyn glanced up at him and smiled. "She's got a long way to go but the medicine is helping and hopefully, with therapy she'll make even more progress. She's planning to return to work in the middle of the month. And while it seems soon to me, it's probably a good idea. She'll have something to pour herself into and a reason to leave the house."

"How long are you going to stay?" he asked then, trying to keep his tone even.

Evelyn shrugged. "I've been talking to Richard and he's fine with me staying as long as I want. He's lonely without me and keeps saying the house is turning into a bachelor pad, but he's doing alright. But… the good news is, he's intending to retire at the beginning of March and then we'll be able to visit more regularly. He's hoping to come out for a visit and be here for Rachel's second birthday and maybe Hanukkah, if he can swing it, but right now he's just so busy with work, mapping out the training he still needs to give the man he's grooming to take over the business for him."

House sighed. "Can you warn me now? I assume you'll both come over and visit Evie. How bad is our run-in going to be?" he asked as he reached out and tugged on a lock of Rachel's hair, causing her to smile his way before coming to him and doing her best to climb up in his lap unassisted. He wanted to ask if Evelyn would bring Rachel by as well so that he could wish her a happy birthday but he wasn't sure he wouldn't be placing her in a bad position where Cuddy was concerned, should she find out that Evelyn was even coming over herself.

Evelyn smiled at Rachel as House helped her up but then returned her attention completely to him. She pursed her lips and considered the question. "It's not that he doesn't like you…" she began.

House threw her a dire look, his expression declaring how much he disagreed with her statement.

Evelyn laughed. "Well if you'll behave, I'll make sure he behaves," she replied finally, biting her lip to keep herself from smiling.

House scoffed, "That's likely!"

"Which part?" she asked. "You behaving, him behaving, or my having any control over my husband?"

"That would be D. All of the Above," House quipped sarcastically.

"Honestly," she exclaimed. "If you didn't push his buttons so much…"

House's mouth quirked into a half-smile. "He never liked me anyway."

"Well that's because you had his baby wrapped around your finger," she replied seriously. "He knew Lisa was putty in your hand back in med school. And frankly, he didn't like or trust any of the young men she dated."

House couldn't blame him for that. But then he sobered and looked away before his eyes went down to Rachel. "I guess that's one thing he doesn't have to worry about," he replied quietly. "His baby is most certainly NOT wrapped around my finger anymore."

Evelyn sighed heavily and then laid Evie down in her lap before reaching for him and placing one hand on his arm consolingly, not saying anything because… what could she say?

House noticed her hand and cleared his throat before asking, "So, how long can you stay?"

She smiled and then dropped her hand to stroke Evie's cheek. "I left about ten minutes after Lisa. So I should probably head home in another hour."

"Good," House replied, getting to his feet with Rachel in his arms. "We should probably take some pictures of you with your grandkids while you're here."

"I would love that," she admitted happily.

House nodded, knowing she would. "Maybe you can send Richard some photos via e-mail to put him in the right mood for his visit," he suggested, an eyebrow quirked.

"I think that would be an excellent idea," she agreed, smiling brightly.

House took Rachel with him to retrieve his camera and the camcorder, just in case, content with the opportunity to record something like this for Evie to watch in the years to come.

* * *

November 8th, 2010

House stood outside Riverside East, staring at the building before him, Evie's carrier in his hand. The time had come to start his new job and he wasn't sure he was ready for this. He wondered if Evie was. Sighing, he locked the car door and walked towards the building, detouring to go to the daycare facility to settle her in. He had an hour before he was supposed to show up in his new boss's office anyway.

House knocked on the outer door and waited for the director to come on over the intercom. Then he explained who he was and she buzzed him in a moment later. Ruth McCormick, the director at RE's child care facility met him just inside and gestured for him to follow her into her office. "Dr. House," she began, smiling brightly. "I'm so glad to finally meet you! I've been looking forward to this day ever since you called two weeks ago to let me know your paperwork was about to be faxed in."

House didn't really know how to reply so he just nodded before setting Evie's carrier down on the chair next to the one she had indicated he should sit in. "Do you have more paperwork I need to sign?" he asked then, his eyes lingering on Evie a moment before he refocused his attention on the woman before him.

"No," she replied. "You're all set. I just need to give you the access code to our facility so that you can come in and out as you please, a welcome folder containing information you might find helpful, and then enter into the computer a list of those you would like to have as people authorized to leave the facility with your daughter. Once we've done that, I'll take you on a tour and introduce you to the staff and those who will be taking care of Georgia today."

House nodded and then waited while she wrote down the access code for him before handing him his welcome folder. When she asked for his list, he gave Cameron and Wilson's names before deciding to add his neighbor to the list, just in case. Both Wilson and Cameron were listed as emergency contacts so he figured Erika was just a back-up in the event something came up and he had to give her a call.

Five minutes later he was hesitantly following Ruth into the infant room, feeling rather awkward about this venture into the realm of baby care. His own kid was one thing. Seeing that she would be one of many they were caring for suddenly filled him with doubts regarding whether or not he was doing the right thing here, rather than hiring a nanny to watch her at home. He quickly shrugged them away. It was ridiculous to worry. Evie would be close and he could check on her any time he wanted. What was he turning into? A woman?

"This is Michelle, that's Becky, and the woman over there is Sandy. They are probably the staff members you will interact with most. Depending on what time you come in, Becky is usually our earliest staff member in the infant room. She works in the mornings. Michelle and Sandy work from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m., with an hour lunch thrown in there somewhere. Lindsey usually comes in from the toddler room to cover whoever goes on lunch break, so it's possible you'll meet her too, though she doesn't come in until around 11 a.m. and only stays in this room for a few hours at most," Ruth explained.

House nodded at each of the three young women before him before concentrating on removing Evie from her carrier. Lifting her out, he settled her on his chest before casually glancing around the room and deciding it would work.

"Would you like to see the rest of our facility?" Ruth asked. "You can bring your Georgia with you or you can entrust her with one of our staff," she added as a suggestion.

House shook his head. "No. She won't move up to the next room until she's 18 months, right?"

Ruth nodded in agreement.

"Will she ever be in another room?" he asked then.

"No. This is where she'll be at all times," Ruth informed him.

"Then I don't really care about the rest of the facility. I'll worry about seeing it later," he concluded.

Ruth looked at him in surprise but then pulled herself together and nodded.

"And she goes by Evie, not Georgia," he added as an afterthought.

"Okay," she replied quickly before reaching for the half-door dividing where they were standing from the infant room at large. Entering, she motioned for him to follow after her and he eyed the other babies in the room for a moment, instantaneously determining that Evie was the youngest by several months. He figured that was a plus, though he couldn't be sure.

"This is where her stuff will be kept," Ruth continued, motioning to a cubbie up on the wall, along with a nearby hook. She reached for a marker and wrote out Evie on it, as House spelled it for her. "We'd appreciate it if you'd keep a couple extra outfits here for her, just in case. Diapers are supplied for us by the hospital but most of our parents provide their own because they don't like the generic brand. If you want to bring a bag, we'll put it in the changing room drawer, marked with her name," she said, pointing out the changing room. "And this is where she'll nap and where we'll keep her infant carrier," she went on, opening a door to the crib room.

Underneath a couple of the cribs were other infant carriers. There were also a couple segments in the walls where windows might normally go but which were open to allow the staff to check on babies and hear them without problem.

House shrugged, accepting the layout without question or comment. He glanced at the clock on the wall and realized he should probably be going. Michelle noticed and stepped forward, ready to take Evie from him. House lifted her off his chest and held her out in front of him, staring at her a minute before glancing at the worker who was clearly waiting to take his daughter from him. Then he returned his focus to Evie and pursed his mouth when she yawned like she was already bored with this place. Reluctantly, he handed her over.

"You'll call me if she has a rough time?" House demanded gruffly, his tone bordering on self-depreciation.

She smiled and nodded. "Don't worry. She'll be fine."

"You don't know my kid," he informed her somewhat sarcastically. "She's a chest baby."

"Excuse me?" Michelle asked in surprise.

House laughed, having intentionally said it like that to provoke a reaction. "When she cries, sometimes the only thing I can do to calm her down is… Never mind," he interrupted himself, embarrassed that he was launching into this with someone he'd never met before. He really had to try harder to not become one of those guys who never shuts up about his kid. "Just call me if she needs me," he repeated before slowly raising his hand to pat Evie's head awkwardly.

"We will," she agreed.

House stared at Evie a moment longer and then turned and headed out the half-door. "Her formula is in the side pocket and there are a bunch of diapers inside her bag," he called back, setting her diaper bag up on the counter. Telling himself he was not going to look back and worry about her, he pressed onward, nodding to Ruth as she held the door open for him and he bypassed her to head for the door leading to the hospital corridor beyond. He realized as he shoved open the door that he'd never left Evie with anyone beyond his makeshift "family." He'd certainly never paid anyone to watch her. He supposed he still wasn't. It was a perk the hospital covered. But all the same, this was different.

House sighed heavily and then irritated with himself for acting so fruity, shoved the door open and pushed the thought away as he headed for his boss's office to begin his first day in a new place.

* * *

House's morning passed quickly; between meetings, staff introductions, paperwork to fill out, and hospital policy & procedure videos to watch, he was honestly relieved when lunchtime came. His boss had planned to eat with him but then something came up that had to be attended to and House found himself headed for the lunchroom that he'd been shown on his tour during his interview a few months back, alone. Halfway there he about faced and headed for the elevator, taking it to the ground floor instead. He detoured through the hallway, checking his watch to verify how long he had until he was expected back in the conference room. He hadn't seen his kid in a few hours. No one would blame him for checking in on her, being that it was her first day.

House entered the code and headed for the infant room, noting that Ruth's office was empty at the moment. He didn't even have to enter to recognize the wails from within. He knew that was coming from his kid.

Turning the doorknob, he pushed the door open and stepped in, looking at the girl who was holding Evie. "Why didn't someone call me?" he demanded.

She looked at him in alarm but then Sandy stepped out of the changing room with another baby and looked at House before glancing at Evie. She was used to babies crying. It was a child care facility. Babies' crying was to be expected. "She's only been crying for five minutes," she reassured him before addressing the other girl and saying, "Lindsey, this is Dr. House, Evie's dad."

House held his arms out and Lindsey got up from where she was rocking Evie in a chair to bring her to him. "She just had her bottle a few minutes ago," she informed him as he took his daughter from her.

House nodded but otherwise ignored her, focusing on Evie as he placed her on his chest and started to shush her, rocking on his heels. He imagined he looked like an idiot but it wasn't often he felt what he was feeling now and a moment later he realized what it was. Guilt. He exhaled in exasperation with himself but continued to shush her until she quieted a minute later, her head bobbing on his chest.

"Man, I'm pathetic," he muttered to himself.

Sandy must have overheard because she smiled before looking away when he gave her a sharp look.

Lindsey put a couple of the older babies in the highchairs as a kitchen worker came in with a tray of food for the babies on solid food. For the next ten minutes, House watched them fling peas and carrots everywhere, only half of their food winding up in their mouths. The worst though was definitely the spaghetti. The kids were coated in sauce within three minutes. He hoped this wasn't a little glimpse of his future. He could just see Wilson holding up a towel in self-defense as he called out, "Batten down the hatches!" as if they were out at sea and a storm had come up, while an older Evie flung spaghetti every which way, coating all of them with it.

He adjusted her in his arms so he could see her face and smiled at the scowl she shot him. Yes, she was definitely his kid.

* * *

House got back to the conference room right in time, having stopped at the snack machines quick to grab a couple bags of chips and a pop, hoping that would tide him over. Evie had fallen asleep and then he'd laid her down in the crib Lindsey had directed him to before making his way out.

At 3:15 p.m. his new cell phone went off and he glanced at it, not recognizing the number and therein identifying the caller. "Yeah?" he answered.

"Hey, it's Michelle. I just wanted to let you know that Evie's been crying for about ten minutes now. I'm really not worried about it. I think she's just had a big day. But Sandy mentioned you were by earlier and reminded me you might want to know," she informed him calmly.

"Hang on," he replied, covering the mouthpiece with his hand.

House's new boss, Dr. Cooper, looked his way in interest.

"Care if I go get my kid and bring her up here?" House asked, rolling his eyes as if this was such an inconvenience for him. "She'll be fine."

"No, I don't care," the man replied, studying House over his bifocals. "I've only got a few more things I'd like to go over with you and then I thought we'd call it a day."

Removing his hand from the mouthpiece, House nodded to his boss and then said, "I'll be down to get her in five minutes."

Michelle glanced over her shoulder at Sandy, eyes wide. It was rare that any of the fathers came to collect their child over ten minutes of crying. The mothers, yes. But the fathers? Never. "Okay, I'll have her ready for you," she replied agreeably.

House hung up and said to Dr. Cooper, "Give me ten minutes. I'll be right back."

Dr. Cooper nodded agreeably and then watched the man as he limped from the room, somewhat amused. "This should prove interesting," he murmured to himself. "Dr. House is not quite what I expected him to be."

* * *

House spent the next hour holding Evie while his boss went over his job description with him before leading him down the hallway to his new office. House left Evie's things behind in the conference room to follow the man and look it over. By 4:15 p.m., he was on his way out of the hospital and headed for his car, relieved that their first day had come to an early end.

He headed for home, going through the drive-thru at Arby's, his stomach protesting the fact that he'd skipped lunch. Evie was crying in the backseat by the time he pulled up in the driveway. House recognized that cry and knew she was hungry too. He unbuckled her quickly and lifted her out, tucking his dinner into her diaper bag before heading for the house and hitting the garage door button on his way in.

Ten minutes later he was standing in the kitchen, eating his sandwich and fries with one hand and feeding Evie her bottle with the other, chatting with Wilson on the phone he held clutched in between his shoulder and cheek, in between bites.

"So your first day went well? You like it?" Wilson asked, unfortunately still sitting at his desk at work.

"It's not PPTH but its fine," House replied, not expanding on his answer.

Wilson was not surprised. He also figured this was a major change for House and one that would require some adjustment. Shifting gears, he asked, "And Evie? How did she do in daycare?"

"She survived," House quipped, taking a bite of his sandwich.

Wilson huffed out a breath and asked, "What does that mean?"

"It means she missed her old man," House responded once he'd swallowed. "And who wouldn't?"

Wilson chuckled. "Yeah, that's true," he agreed, shaking his head in exasperation.

"Ah, you miss me too, don't you Wilson? Your office is a sad, lonely place without me barging in throughout the day," House taunted, smirking when Wilson made no move to deny it.

"Well, it's kind of quiet, anyway," he admitted then.

House chuckled and muttered, "I just bet it is."

"On the upside, I get a lot more done," Wilson added, not wanting House's brain to explode from self-satisfaction.

"And yet it's after five and you're still there," House dryly reminded him.

"You never told me how your second appointment with Nolan went," Wilson said, ignoring his comment and shifting subjects.

"Fine. But we just talked about all the changes and new adjustments in my life, like starting the new job and how I'm doing with having a kid of 'my very own' to screw up," House replied.

"You aren't screwing anything up, House," Wilson countered. "You're doing great."

"Just give me time," he responded, looking at the baby before him who was watching him somberly from over her bottle.

Wilson smiled, disagreeing with House on this one. "Was it hard to leave her?" he inquired at length.

"Are you kidding? Piece of cake," House nonchalantly quipped.

"Uh-huh," Wilson stated. "Something tells me you're lying through your teeth."

"You'll never know, will you though?" House replied sarcastically, hanging up then to leave Wilson guessing.

"What do you think, kid? Did your old man have a hard time walking away and leaving you with all those women?" he asked Evie, setting the phone down on the counter before leaning in to rub her cheek against his face and cause her to cringe before releasing her hold on the nipple of her bottle to stare at him.

"Yeah, well just don't tell Uncle Wilson," he told her gravely before picking her up to change her diaper.

* * *

For the first time in a while, House had a hard time getting Evie to sleep that night. At midnight he gave up and tiredly carried her out to the living room. Eyeing the guitar he had hung on the wall, he set Evie in the baby bouncer and then walked over to remove it. She started fussing at being put down but House settled himself on the floor near her, using his foot to bounce her as he found the right key and began strumming, clearing his throat to sing a moment later, once she'd calmed down.

She'd been crabby throughout the evening and he instinctively determined it was just her way of protesting the sudden change in her life of having new caregivers thrown her way. He couldn't blame the kid. He seemed to have a problem with it himself. Who would have ever guessed he'd feel something resembling guilt in handing his kid off for someone else to take care of while he worked?! It was ridiculous and not like him at all. But the thing was, he figured reality was cruel enough for his kid. She had a mother who'd successfully walked away without any hesitation whatsoever and now her dad was leaving her with strangers while he did what he had to do too. House didn't want his kid to be raised by someone else. And he didn't want any regrets. But the world was a cruel place and work, a necessary evil. Therefore, he and Evie would have to adapt. Yet that wasn't to say he was going to melt into the background of her life. In fact, she better just get used to him being around. He intended to be the real deal. And good or bad, his kid was stuck with him.

-----

"_**Everybody's got a different story  
Everybody wanna give their selves away  
But I'm still afraid  
If we can stay out of their field of vision  
If we can keep ourselves a half a world away  
Ah honey, we'll be okay**_

_**The world can be so cruel  
But I will sing for you  
This cradlesong all night long**_

_**Everybody's got their own opinion  
Everybody's got a place where they belong  
Like a favorite song  
And I don't wanna be a faded memory  
I don't wanna be the ghost that you can't shake  
I wanna be the real thing**_

_**The world can be so cruel  
But I will sing for you  
This cradlesong all night long  
Yeah, all night long  
Yeah, all night long**_

_**No one said that we were victims, honey  
No one said we had to keep the things we get  
And there ain't no regrets  
And all our friends, they moved to Hollywood  
But we ain't that desperate yet  
Oh no, oh ain't nothing like the real thing**_

_**The world can be so cruel  
Yeah well let me sing to you  
This cradlesong all night long**_

_**The world can be so cruel  
But I will sing for you  
This cradle song all night long  
This cradlesong  
This cradlesong**_

_**Yeah, all night long  
Sing it all night long  
Yeah, all night long  
Sing it all night long  
Yeah, yeah, all night long"**_

* * *

Song: "Cradlesong" (Rob Thomas)


	44. Seeing Red

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Angst coming your way! Prepare yourselves! Merry Christmas (Eve)! Thanks for your reviews!!!)_

* * *

November 15th, 2010

Cuddy took a deep breath before pulling open the main entrance door of PPTH. This was officially her first day back at work and she had no idea how she was going to make it through but she knew this was one of the biggest steps she could take to having her life back and she was ready for it. She politely greeted anyone who addressed her as she made her way to her office but she didn't stop, not wishing to allow anyone time to ask her personal questions just yet. She needed to be back behind her desk, in her comfort zone, and then she thought maybe she'd be ready to take on the world.

Her replacement during her absence arrived a half hour after she did and they got right down to business with him giving her a brief overview of all the piles and files heaped up on her desk, where to find a stack of the e-mails he'd received and replied to on her behalf, the log of messages that had come through color-coded according to whether they still necessitated a call back or had been handled already, and the file with Board Meeting notes, staffing changes, and new hires. Cuddy was relieved when he left and she had her office all to herself once more. Regardless of the work that lay ahead of her, it actually did feel better to be here. She felt back in control when she was at the helm of PPTH, steering it along its course and guiding it through rocky passages and into safe harbors.

Since the next Board Meeting wasn't until Friday, she opted to begin with her phone messages and then work through her e-mail. She had no intention of making rounds today, though she planned to do them first thing tomorrow. She just had too much work to do and had no doubt she'd be taking stuff home with her. Grabbing her stack of phone messages, she mapped out and prioritized them before spending the next three hours on the phone, returning calls.

* * *

Cuddy opted for a working lunch and had her secretary order in for her. Thirty minutes later Janine knocked on her door and waited for Cuddy to grant her access, coming in and smiling brightly when she was invited in.

"Dr. Cuddy, I can't tell you how happy we are to have you back with us!" Janine declared, striding to her desk to hand Cuddy her lunch before setting a floral arrangement down in congratulations of her new baby on the coffee table nearby.

Cuddy smiled slightly and nodded her head, ignoring the flowers, which she erroneously assumed were in congratulations of her return. "Thank you, Janine," she said evenly. "It's really good to be back here."

"And how's life with the new baby? How's Rachel adjusting to being a big sister? Was it hard to walk out the door this morning and leave that little angel with a nanny for the first time?" her secretary inquired sympathetically.

Cuddy froze but quickly thawed, looking away. "There is no baby," she quietly informed her secretary, reaching to straighten the piles on her desk without making eye contact again. "It died at birth," she added a moment later, to add finality to the subject.

Janine stood there wide-eyed, staring at her boss. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know how to respond to the blunt truth of that statement. Dr. Cuddy's baby had been stillborn? "I am SO sorry, Dr. Cuddy!" she finally exclaimed.

"Was that all?" Cuddy asked then, glancing up pointedly.

Janine shook her head and backed towards the door, uncertain about how to read her boss's behavior.

Cuddy nodded and concentrated on the work before her, waiting for her secretary to leave.

Janine licked her lips and hesitated but finally couldn't resist asking, "Were you… able to hold it afterwards? Did you get to say goodbye? Do you… know if it was a girl or a boy?"

Cuddy sighed wearily but decided it was better to just answer her questions and get it over with. "No, I didn't. But they told me it was a girl."

Janine nodded sadly, looking like she was about to cry. "I really am SO sorry, Dr. Cuddy. If there is anything I can do for you…"

"There is," Cuddy replied quickly, looking away once more.

"Name it," Janine responded earnestly, taking a step back towards her boss.

"Tell whoever you must but when people find out, please let them know that I'd rather not talk about this again," she stated flatly.

Janine blinked and then somewhat horrified by her own decision to ask questions of a woman who was clearly suffering a very traumatic loss right now, mumbled her apologies and quickly slipped from the room, intending to pass word around but to also keep anyone and everyone she could out of her boss's hair for the day.

Cuddy waited until she was gone and then exhaled a relieved breath before opening her lunch and getting back to work while she ate her salad.

* * *

Cameron was in the ER when she saw a group of her interns gossiping in a corner. She sighed, not having time for this behavior when they had patients needing care and knowing it fell to her to get them back on track. But then she saw a couple nurses talking with tears in their eyes and her tender heart softened her intention of getting after the interns and instead sent her in the direction of the nurses to find out what had happened and if there was anything she could do.

The nurses glanced up when she approached and hurriedly wiped their eyes. Cameron smiled sympathetically and placed her hand on the arm of the one who looked most upset of the two of them. "Kathy, is everything alright? Lauren? Is there anything wrong? Anything I can help with?"

Kathy sniffled and shook her head, her eyes sad. "No. I'm okay. I just feel so awful for Dr. Cuddy."

Cameron was taken aback and she straightened in surprised confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"You didn't hear?" Lauren asked in shock. "It's all over the hospital!"

"Hear what?" Cameron asked hesitantly, having a bad feeling about this. Kathy felt awful FOR Cuddy?!

"The baby was stillborn," Kathy informed her in a whisper. "She didn't even get to see or hold her little girl."

Cameron took a step back, horrified.

The nurses nodded understandingly.

"We felt the same way when we heard," Lauren murmured softly.

Cameron sincerely doubted it. "Where did you hear that?" she asked abruptly.

"Today is Dr. Cuddy's first day back. Apparently she told her secretary," Kathy replied, shrugging dejectedly.

Cameron's expression hardened but she turned before either Kathy or Lauren could catch it. She moved away from them hurriedly and then caught sight of the interns. Pursing her lips and trying to keep her anger under control so that she wouldn't take it out on someone undeserving of it, she nevertheless headed for the group and quickly demanded that they get back to work. When the group broke up and hurried in different directions to attend to patients, Cameron headed into the supply closet and spent the next ten minutes pacing before deciding she needed to talk to Wilson ASAP.

* * *

Cameron saw Wilson's office blinds were open and she quickly looked through them to see if he was with a patient. He wasn't. She rapped the door with her knuckles and then opened the door, not bothering to wait for him to invite her in.

He glanced up from his paperwork. "Hey, what's up?"

Cameron sighed, her expression one of angst and pain. "Cuddy's back."

Wilson nodded, his face devoid of emotion. "I heard," he replied quietly as he laid down his pen.

"Did you also hear what she's telling people about the baby?" she asked, an eyebrow lifted in sullen frustration.

Wilson huffed out a breath of air and pushed his chair back, reclining in it a moment later. "Do I want to know?"

She shook her head and sighed dramatically again. "I mean, it's the easy answer and it makes the most sense," she began with a slight shrug. "But all the same, you aren't going to want to know."

Wilson put off asking, closing his eyes as his mouth hardened into a flat line. "How are you predicting House will react to whatever she's telling people?"

"He'll be ticked, but maybe he'd be upset no matter what she said. Regardless," Cameron muttered resignedly, "this is definitely going to piss him off. And yet I'd rather have him hear it from one of us than have him run into someone else and hear it from them and risk his reaction exposing something he'll regret anyone witnessing or overhearing."

Wilson exhaled before his mouth quirked downward and he roughly replied, "Tell me."

"She's telling people the baby was stillborn," she sputtered, her lips pursing immediately afterward as she looked at him pointedly.

"You're right. It does make sense. And it's a good cover for her behavior in the ER last month. It'll also keep people from asking questions," he acknowledged, shaking his head as his hand went up to rub his temple. "But House won't like it. Who am I kidding?! House will definitely react negatively to this. Pissed probably doesn't even adequately define what he'll be when he hears."

"I'm off at five," Cameron informed him then. "I was going to swing by his house and get it over with."

He nodded, torn over whether or not he should go too. Finally he sighed and wearily murmured, "I'll see if I can reschedule my four o'clock and go with."

She shrugged and then nodded in agreement. "Works for me," Cameron said before turning to leave.

"Does Cuddy know that this is your last week here?" Wilson asked before she could slip out, thinking it was better to cool her down a bit before she went back downstairs, in case she ran into Cuddy and had to attempt to hold it together.

She turned back and bit her lip. "I don't think so. But she'll find out soon enough. Human Resources know, as does her stand-in. I'm sure it's in the paperwork she's wading through in her return. Everyone else knows."

Wilson chuckled, chagrined. "Maybe I should apply for a job elsewhere too," he quipped.

Cameron laughed, knowing he wouldn't because he was too committed to his patients here. "Feel free to check and see if Riverside East is hiring. I bet House would love that," she replied regardless.

He shook his head and admitted, "Well, it's tempting anyway."

"Page me if you're coming with," she tossed back over her shoulder as she stepped out into the hallway and pulled the door closed behind her.

"I will," he murmured, though the door had already closed. Reaching for his phone he called his patient, intent on rescheduling. This was not going to go over. As far as he was concerned, it wasn't all that surprising. But House would not handle this well. The best thing he could do to defuse the situation was to be there for the explosion when the bomb went off and if necessary, clean up some of the destruction in its aftermath.

* * *

House had now been at Riverside East for a week and a half. He didn't really mind it as much as he thought he would, though it was a pain to have to learn the layout of a new hospital, review their policies, meet with the Chief Administrator and Dean of Medicine regarding his position, and settle in enough to begin seeing patients and reviewing cases. Honestly, he was glad Cameron would be on board next week, even if she'd have to wade through some of the same red tape he had. Within a few days, House was sure she'd be working with him. And that was great news as he didn't much care to do all the patient care himself. He even missed his team. House wondered if the janitor at RE was any more convincing as a doctor than the one at PPTH had been. He was tempted to find out.

House headed downstairs, calling it a day. He limped through the doors separating the hospital corridor from the daycare. Then he walked to the next door and entered the access code to gain clearance. Finally he stepped into the daycare and headed for the infant room, nodding to the director who glanced up from where she was talking on her phone in the office to wave at him.

"Hey Dr. House," Michelle greeted him as he came in, smiling at the scruffy doctor as she busied herself wiping the faces of the two babies sitting in the high chairs nearby. "Evie's getting her diaper changed but then she's all yours."

"One small putrid diaper, one giant leap for mankind breathing nontoxic fumes," he quipped, his eyes landing on Sandy who was just now exiting the changing table space, a content Evie in her arms. "How was she?"

"Good," Sandy replied, using her free hand to lift up and toss her long reddish-blond tresses behind her. "I think she's adjusting. Though I'm sure it helps that you come down here on your lunch break to spend a little time with her," she finished, her words accompanied by a teasing lilt.

House reached for his kid, bringing her close to his face to scrutinize her while the baby returned his intent gaze, cooing happily at him. Michelle laughed and House turned her way, his expression one of watchful bemusement. "What's so funny?"

She smiled and shrugged before biting her lip and replying, "I just think it's interesting how rumors aren't always true."

He mock-glared at the brunette before restoring his attention to his daughter. "What have you heard?" he wryly inquired, mildly curious about whatever rumors had followed him here, whether fictitious or not.

She pursed her lips, watching him set Evie down on the top of the counter to yank out her snowsuit from her diaper bag, slipping her in and zipping her up before placing her carefully on his shoulder. "Only that you were supposed to be a real handful. You're not. At least not while in here," she amended, smiling. He'd been here every day during the lunch hour to sit with Evie for fifteen minutes, at least. Everyone on staff at the child care facility thought it was kind of endearing, and extremely unusual, for a dad to be so committed to helping his child make the transition.

His mouth quirked and he turned to her to say, "Guess you can't believe everything you hear."

Sandy cast a watchful glance his way. "I don't know," she teased. "I think I'll reserve judgment. You've got the look of a man who could prove a handful."

House chuckled, looking back and forth between the freckled and flirtatious strawberry blond and the doe-eyed brunette before somewhat obnoxiously muttering to Evie, "You better keep an eye on these two. I think they have the hots for your sexy stud-muffin of an old man."

Michelle looked away as color flooded her cheeks but tried to cover for it by rolling her eyes. "See you tomorrow, Dr. House," she dryly responded to his statement, waving him towards the door as she shook her head.

Sandy waited until the door shut behind him to say under her breath, "Well, he is yummy, in a sinfully delicious sort of way. And he's got a great butt."

Michelle looked at her in shock but Sandy gave her a pointed look. "You know you've noticed," she murmured under her breath.

Michelle's mouth twitched and she shrugged, turning back to the babies before mumbling, "It's his eyes. They make my stomach flip flop if they linger more than three seconds on me."

Sandy laughed. "Too bad he seems to only have eyes for his kid."

"Yeah," Michelle agreed, thinking about the way she felt when his penetrating gaze was directed on her. "Definitely too bad."

* * *

House carried Evie into the house and was thankful to enter the warmth within. While it wasn't snowing, the weather had changed in the past week, a cold front rolling in. He carried her into the kitchen and undid her snowsuit, lifting her out. Then he went into the bedroom to grab her bouncer, placing it up on the island before buckling her in and turning to prepare a bottle.

House was feeding Evie with one hand while telling her all about his workday and pulling open the door of the fridge with his free arm to browse over his options for dinner. The doorbell rang and Evie startled, her eyes opening wide at the sound, her arms jerking. House glanced at her as if equally shocked, allowing the fridge door to swing shut. "Did you make plans and not tell me?" he asked her skeptically, shooting a look brimming with suspicion her way. When she just stared back at him, he defensively declared, "Don't look at me kid. I didn't invite anyone."

The doorbell rang again and he sighed before unbuckling her and scooping her up to walk to the door with her. Pulling it open he was surprised to see Cameron and Wilson both standing there, looking awfully uncomfortable about something.

He wordlessly stepped aside to allow them to come in, scrutinizing their faces as they passed. Cameron reached for the baby and he handed Evie over before turning to shut the door.

"Hey House," Wilson mumbled while Cameron was momentarily distracted cooing at the baby.

"Did we have plans I forgot about?" he asked warily, knowing this had nothing to do with dinner plans or anything else.

Cameron was the one to answer him, her head swinging up to meet his gaze, her mouth twisted into a grimace. "No. We uh…well, Cuddy's back at work."

House nodded mutely, just waiting for it. They hadn't come here to tell him that. He'd known that already via Evelyn.

Wilson removed his coat and opened House's front closet to hang it up.

"I take it you guys might be here for awhile?" House asked, almost but not quite amused. Their hesitation spoke volumes and made him shift from one foot to the other before unconsciously rubbing his thigh.

Cameron looked at Wilson and then back to House. She licked her lips and glanced down at Evie.

House lost patience. "Just tell me what she's done," he muttered sharply, throwing his head back before bringing it down to rub a hand over it.

Wilson took over, seeing Cameron was too concerned about House's reaction to voice the words. "She's telling people the baby was stillborn."

House's eyes and expression hardened noticeably. He looked from one to the other and then down to Evie, his jaw clenching and unclenching in turn.

"I've tried to think of what else she could have told people that they would have bought. I can't think of anything," Cameron murmured softly.

House glanced at her and then down at his feet. "She could have told them the truth," he bit out soberly.

"House, you knew she was going to come up with something to tell people," Wilson mumbled. "And you ought to know by now that it would be something allowing her to save face at work."

He stared at his buddy a moment and then shook his head, reaching to jerk the closet door open. But if Wilson was expecting House to hand him his coat and send them on their way, the assumption was quickly corrected. House yanked out his motorcycle jacket and shoved his arm in one sleeve before repeating the process with the other.

"Where are you going?" Wilson demanded, rolling his eyes.

"Can you watch Evie for a couple hours?" House directed to Cameron, his voice gravelly, opting not to meet Wilson's penetrating gaze.

"House, it's too cold out to ride your motorcycle!" she argued, not answering his question.

"Can you watch her or not?" House growled, more a demand for an answer than a question now.

Evie's head bobbed as she started to cry. House reached out to place his hand on her head in a gesture of comfort, but he made no move to take her, clearly waiting for an answer.

"We rode together," Wilson finally informed him, shaking his head. "But if Cameron has to go, I can stay. You can take me home after you get back."

House nodded, not looking at either of them now, his expression fierce, and then he walked past them. "Her bottle is in the kitchen," he threw back over his shoulder. "She's halfway through it."

Cameron turned to Wilson when House was out of her line of vision. "Are you crazy?!" she asked in disbelief. "He'll kill himself! He's too worked up to go for a ride!"

Wilson shrugged. "He's going to go no matter what," he replied with a sigh.

Cameron looked at him and then the garage door slammed and she hurriedly passed the baby into his arms before running after House. Yanking open the door, she jumped the steps and rushed to his side as the garage door opened. House had just picked up his helmet when she touched his side.

"Cameron, just let me go," he muttered crossly.

"House, please think about this before you run off. You're all Evie has! You can't race off and act recklessly!" she cried, gesturing at the bike like he was insane.

"Cameron, I don't need you to tell me to think of my kid!" he angrily snapped before shoving his helmet on his head and turning the key in the ignition.

She sighed but took a step back, watching as he revved the engine before turning the bike in the direction of the open garage door, tearing off down the driveway a second later. She listened until the sound of his motorcycle faded in the distance, shaking her head. Then she turned and wrapped her arms around herself before heading back inside, hitting the button to close the garage door on her way in.

Wilson was in the kitchen with Evie tucked in the crook of his arm, greedily polishing off her bottle.

Cameron walked over to them and smoothed a lock of the baby's soft hair before sighing. "Well, that could have gone better," she muttered, rolling her eyes.

Wilson met her gaze, shrugging. "And it could have gone worse," he said evenly, returning his gaze to Evie.

Cameron's lips firmed into a line but she nodded in agreement. "Yes, I suppose it could," she admitted finally.

Evie finished the bottle and Cameron reached for it, turning to the island to dig through her diaper bag and locate a burp cloth to throw to Wilson before going to the sink to wash the bottle out and stick it in the dishwasher. "Do you think he's going to the bar?" she asked hesitantly, looking back at Wilson.

Wilson exhaled heavily, patting Evie's back where she lay on his shoulder. "I don't know. He's made it this far without turning to the bottle. Is this any worse than everything else Cuddy's done to him?"

Cameron didn't answer, not having any idea how to categorize all that Cuddy had put House through in the past year. "Do you think he'd go to Cuddy's?" she inquired next, really hoping House wouldn't.

"I doubt it," Wilson answered after a moment. "The last person he's going to want to see right now is her."

Cameron nodded before turning back to the sink and rinsing off the dishes House had left there from that morning, adding them to the dishwasher as well.

"Do you need to go?" he asked then, wanting her to know she didn't have to stay out of obligation.

"I'll wait a little while. Chase won't be home yet anyhow," she replied, shrugging before closing the door to the dishwasher.

"Then I'm going to order something to eat. You hungry?" Wilson asked, reaching for the yellow pages to flip through to the restaurant listings with his free hand.

"Always," she answered, a smile playing on her lips as she dried her hands off and patted her baby bump in explanation before reaching for Evie.

* * *

House drove for ten minutes before realizing he had no idea where he was and his gas tank was almost empty. Turning off the deserted street he'd been on he made his way south, figuring he'd eventually run into the highway and a gas station nearby it. Five minutes later he parked in front of a gas station and filled up, thankful that he still had his wallet on him.

Getting back on the road, he directed his bike into the turn lane to go on the highway. House changed lanes and merged into the light traffic, zipping here and there to avoid other vehicles, Cameron's words the only thing keeping him from speeding. He didn't know where he was going and he didn't care. He just needed to release some steam.

House knew Wilson was right. But it didn't make the fist with a death-grip on his heart relax whatsoever. He knew better than to underestimate the lengths Cuddy would go to anymore. He also knew that claiming the baby had died was the most logical route to go. What other rationalization would have worked so easily for her? But he was not Rational Man. That role he left to Wilson. Right now he was Pissed Off Man, angry that Cuddy would not only deny his daughter's existence to herself throughout her pregnancy but continue to claim it to the world at large even after she was born a living, breathing entity with his eyes staring out of Cuddy's once-beloved face.

Before he realized what he was doing or where he was headed, he looked up at the street passing by and realized he'd left the highway and was winding his way through Cuddy's neighborhood. He turned down a side street and parked, killing the engine before climbing off the bike and securing his helmet to the seat. Then he limped down the street and turned the corner, coming to a stop in the shadows of an evergreen across the street from her house.

House leaned there watching her house, having so much and yet so little he'd like to say to the woman who continued to brutalize his soul. A car turned the corner coming from the opposite direction and he immediately recognized it as hers. He moved back in the branches so as to not be detected as the headlights swept over his hiding spot before turning into her driveway. He watched her climb out of her car, leaving it parked in the driveway beside her mother's car, completely oblivious to him. As she made her way up the walkway briefcase in hand, Evelyn opened the door with Rachel in her arms. He watched Cuddy lean over to press a kiss to Rachel's cheek before entering the house, the door closing a moment later.

House expelled his breath and stepped out from the tree, feeling somewhat like a stalker but too angry to care if anyone were to notice him and call the cops. And as he stood there, his eyes focused on the house across the street and the shadows passing across the wall through her front window, he realized another dimension as to why he was so furious with her at that moment.

All those months he'd loved her. He'd loved her regardless of how she felt or how she treated him. She'd inflicted wound after wound and he'd stood there like an idiot and taken it, taken all her crap. And yes, he'd done it because he wanted his daughter. But he'd also done it because he wanted Cuddy. What was infinitely worse, like a sap he'd wanted to want Cuddy. And what was even more pathetic, he'd wanted Cuddy to want him. But she never had. Never.

Then Evie had been born and his whole life began to focus on her and her needs and what it would take to be the father she deserved. But all it took was a phone call to send him back to Cuddy's side to _save her!_ Okay, he hadn't stayed indefinitely and he'd quickly called in backup, but he'd gone to her all the same. He'd taken care of her, cleaned her stupid house, washed her overly ripe laundry, all of it. Because he'd been helpless to stop himself from loving her still and taking care of her accordingly. He'd even been helpless to realize just how strong a hold she continued to have on him. Now he knew. And House was tired of it all; tired of being here and tired of having her matter to him; tired of having what she did or what she said affect _his_ life with _his_ daughter; tired of telling himself that Wilson was wrong to think he'd defend her actions, when if she had come back the day before, he probably would have and not just allowed her back into their lives but wholeheartedly _embraced_ her back in.

But now it was all over and done with. She was gone. She was history. And nothing was going to change that. There was no way she could explain away what she'd just done. In fact, he'd like to see her try. Turning, he limped down the street in the direction of where he'd parked his bike, refusing to look back, refusing to let her mean anything to him ever again.

-----

"_**I'm seeing red  
Don't think you'll have to see my face again  
Don't have much time for sympathy  
'Cause it never happened to me  
You're feeling blue now  
I think you bit off more than you could chew  
And now it's time to make a choice  
And all I wanna hear is your...**_

_**So follow the leader down  
And swallow your pride and drown  
When there's no place left to go  
Maybe that's when you will know  
So follow the leader down  
And swallow your pride and drown  
When there's no place left to go  
Maybe that's when you will know**_

_**And foolish lies  
Well can't you see I tried to compromise?  
'Cause what you say ain't always true  
And I can see the tears in your eyes  
And what you said now  
Can't stop the words from running through my head  
And what I'd do to get through to you  
But you'd only do it again**_

_**So follow the leader down  
And swallow your pride and drown  
When there's no place left to go  
Maybe that's when you will know  
So follow the leader down  
And swallow your pride and drown  
When there's no place left to go  
Maybe that's when you will know**_

_**Well I confess  
I don't know what to make from all this mess  
Don't have much time for sympathy  
But it never happened to me**_

_**You're feeling down now  
I don't know where I'll be when you come around  
And now it's time to make a choice  
And all I wanna hear is your voice..."**_

* * *

Song: "Seeing Red" (Unwritten Law)


	45. Rest In Pieces

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I am officially a sucker for you guys and your begging. Sigh. ALRIGHT! Have another chapter! But just this once! And you better review!) :)_

* * *

"Will you call me and just let me know he's gotten home safe?" Cameron asked worriedly as she slipped her coat on. She'd waited almost two hours now but while Chase understood, she knew he was waiting at home for her to make popcorn and start the show they'd TiVo'd. How long could she really keep her husband waiting without feeling guilty for it?

Wilson nodded and reached to open the door for her to go, but just then they heard the engine of a motorcycle coming down the street and they both looked at each other, wondering what to expect. Wilson walked back to Evie's door and closed it quietly just in case, since the baby had just fallen asleep. The back door opened two minutes later and they both turned to wait for House to come in.

House turned the corner and saw them standing there. "Evie asleep?" he asked quietly as he removed his coat, relatively calm, though his eyes reflected the storm of emotion he was experiencing.

Cameron nodded, her eyes concernedly watching him as she wrapped her arms back around herself.

"Are you okay?" Wilson asked, his gaze sweeping over House's face intently.

House nodded as he walked between them and opened the closet door, removing a hanger and replacing it a minute later in the closet with his coat attached. "I'm fine," he mumbled, not interested in talking about it further.

Wilson's eyebrows shot up in a silent question but he pressed his lips firmly together to refrain from forcing House to share anything. "Cameron and I will head out then," he replied in acceptance of House's unspoken request to not mention it more.

House looked from one to the other and then back towards Evie's door as he quietly murmured, "Thanks… for staying around. And for coming in the first place."

Wilson nodded and reached past House to grab his coat from the closet. He tugged it on and turned to open the front door for Cameron.

House reached out to stop her before she walked out. When she looked up to meet his eyes he shrugged and mumbled, "I'm sorry…"

When she just stared at him in confusion, he clarified, "For what I said. You were only trying to look out for me and I took my anger out on you. Sorry, Cameron."

She nodded, tears brimming in her eyes at the realization that House was actually apologizing to her for something. She swiped at the tears but mumbled "It's okay," before wrapping her arms around him in a fierce hug.

House patted her back awkwardly as his eyes met Wilson's in discomfort.

Wilson chuckled. "That'll teach you to apologize," he joked. "That's EXACTLY why we put that 'no apologizing' rule in place regarding our friendship. Neither one of us want to deal with the awkwardness of this moment."

Cameron laughed and released House, turning to slip out the door.

"See you Wilson," House said, shaking his head in subtle amusement as he moved towards the door to see them out.

"What? No apology?" Wilson taunted.

House chuckled, one end of his mouth twisting up. "Nope. Even if we didn't have that rule, I have now reached my quota for the day," he dryly replied.

"For the day? You mean for the year," Wilson quipped, shaking his head.

"Come back January 1st," House suggested before thinking to add, "But no hugs."

"I'll pencil it in my datebook with a special note to that effect," Wilson responded as he walked away.

"You do that," he agreed, shutting the door behind them a moment later.

House locked it and turned to go check on Evie. He opened her door and limped over to the crib railing, leaning over to reach a hand in and smooth the blanket over her. Satisfied that she was fine, he turned and walked back out, heading to the kitchen to grab a bite before settling down at the piano to play for a while.

* * *

Cuddy went in extra early the next morning, hoping to complete rounds on the 4th floor before Wilson came in. It had been almost two months since she'd last seen him and yet she still didn't feel ready to face him. She didn't generally make a habit of running away from confrontation and even in this it wasn't confrontation or Wilson that she feared. While she imagined he was still angry with her and their friendship beyond repair, what she most feared was overhearing something related to House and… the baby.

She got off the elevator and took the long way around, stopping and checking in with the administrators of various wings who were already in. It took her longer than she'd planned on as she ended up stopping to sign off on forms and files along the way. By the time she made it to Oncology, Wilson was in his office. She walked hurriedly past, thankful when he didn't seem to notice her. But that brought her to House's office and she came to a standstill outside, despite just wanting to pass it by without looking in.

She glanced in at the furniture, covered by sheets for protection. But that wasn't what caught her eye. Because in looking she had to gaze through the door, and where his name should have been, as she'd never officially made the call to have it removed, was only emptiness. And somehow, observing that settled deep within her not as a balm because he'd been erased from PPTH just like she'd managed to eradicate him from her life, but as a hollow spot that would remain just as vacant as the office space before her until she found something else to fill it with.

Cuddy shook herself out of her stupor and walked quickly towards the elevator, ready to leave behind the 4th floor and all it encapsulated for her.

* * *

"How's she doing?" Richard asked Evelyn when she called.

"I don't know. She's getting better I suppose," she admitted as she looked in to check on Rachel who was down for a nap. "It's just a slow process. She's getting better little by little. I mean, I've definitely seen improvement. House was right about the meds. Her antidepressants help her to function normally. But she still cries a lot."

"How's she doing with Rachel? How's Rachel holding up in all this?" he asked next, checking the schedule of projects he had to complete at work today and the assignments he'd passed off to different employees while he talked to his wife.

"Oh, Rachel's good. She's terrific. And Lisa's doing much better with her. They spend time together reading books and Lisa gives Rachel her baths and puts her to bed at night. That's definitely a good sign," Evelyn replied.

"Has she mentioned the baby?" he asked hopefully.

"No," she murmured sadly. "She hasn't. I keep hoping she'll bring her up but she doesn't show any signs of doing so."

"Well, give it time. Maybe the counseling will help her," he proffered.

"Maybe," she replied noncommittally.

"She's back at work?" Richard inquired. "Do you think it is too soon?"

"No, I think she's right about going back to work," she said, returning to the kitchen to unload the dishwasher. "She needs something to do; something that brings her fulfillment. I worry that she's not ready to be back yet and that it'll prove too taxing for her. But I suppose that's a mother's prerogative; to worry, I mean."

Richard chuckled. "Yes, I think it is."

Evelyn smiled, tucking the phone into her shoulder to free her hands up. "I miss you, you know."

"I miss you too," he replied. "The house is awful quiet without you. And I'm definitely not keeping it up like you would."

"You better not be making messes," Evelyn wryly muttered.

"Well now, it wouldn't be much fun if I didn't! And besides, then you'd be under the impression that I can survive without you," he quipped. "I DO want you to come home eventually!"

Laughing, she declared, "No. I know you're helpless. That's why I married you."

"You married me because I'm helpless?" he inquired skeptically. "I thought it was because you couldn't resist my charms."

"Well, I suppose that might have been part of it," she hedged.

"I love you, honey," Richard said lovingly.

"I love you too," Evelyn replied with a sigh.

* * *

Cameron was busy making her rounds in the ER when Cuddy walked in. She came to an abrupt stop but then glanced at her only briefly before determining to ignore her presence, continuing on to the next patient. Poor House. She didn't know how Cuddy could hurt him like this after everything he'd done for her in stepping back into her life in October to help her find her way back to the land of the living. Some things she thought she'd never understand. Some people too.

"You're pregnant, aren't you?" the sixty-five year old car accident victim warmly asked Cameron as she set up her tray to begin suturing the cut on the woman's arm.

Cameron glanced up at her and smiled before reaching down to pat her own belly. "Three and a half months now," she admitted happily, thinking about how she'd woken up to the fluttering kicks of the baby within that morning.

"That's wonderful, dear! I have three grandkids and I can't even begin to tell you how much of a blessing they are," the woman replied, her expression soft and lost in thought as she dwelt on her grandkids.

Cameron smiled and nodded in agreement before reaching for a pair of gloves. Pulling them on, she glanced up and froze, her expression faltering at the realization that Cuddy had heard the conversation and was now staring at Cameron in shock.

Cuddy dropped the file in her hands and papers went everywhere. Looking away, Cameron focused on what she was doing, trying her hardest to refrain from the sudden urge to protectively cover her belly as Cuddy bent down to gather the scattered papers.

A minute later she heard Cuddy's heels retreating from the ER and released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding before beginning to sew up the woman's injury, asking the woman about her grandkids to keep her mind occupied while she was stitched up.

* * *

Cuddy quickly made her way back to her office, trying to hold herself together. She told Janine that she had something to do as she passed and then shut herself inside, leaning against the closed door. Cameron was pregnant. Cameron was pregnant! That hit too close to home! It wasn't like she could avoid pregnant women in a hospital, but Cameron would always bring her thoughts to her own pregnancy and then to House. How would she ever move on with life if there were constant reminders of him everywhere she went?

She moved away from the door and sank down on her couch, taking shallow breaths as she tried to figure out how she could reasonably avoid the ER until Cameron's baby was born AND the 4th floor, at least for the next few months. But there was no way she could. Not while successfully completing all that was required of her as Chief Administrator and Dean of Medicine.

Cuddy gave up on doing rounds and slowly made her way over to the water cooler to fill a mug with hot water and make herself a cup of tea. She had too much to do to focus on this twist of the knife in her chest. She'd pour herself into her work for a while and try to get somewhere work-wise. She could go home tonight and worry about this more. Right now the best thing for it was to tackle a project or two, beginning with the file of Board Meeting notes, staffing changes, and new hires.

Just then her door opened and Janine stepped in. "Your eleven o'clock is here," she informed her.

"My eleven o'clock?" Cuddy asked in confusion.

Janine stepped in and shut the door behind her. "Yeah. Didn't you see the note?"

Cuddy shook her head wordlessly.

"Sorry about that," Janine apologized, tilting her head slightly to the left. "It should have been right on top of the file with staffing changes. Dr. Cameron gave her notice several weeks ago and you have three follow-up interviews today with candidates who have applied for her position."

Cuddy stared at her in shock but then smiled in relief. It looked like one problem had been taken care of for her. "Send the individual in," she instructed Janine, who nodded and then slipped back out of her office to call on the first interviewee.

* * *

House stopped with Evie on the way home from work to pick up an extra ticket at a Ticketmaster counter for the monster truck demolition derby Wilson had given him tickets for before Evie's birth. The event was this weekend and Wilson had agreed to go with him. House was hoping to use his third ticket to bribe a babysitter. Once he reached home, he pulled into the driveway, removing Evie from her car seat a moment later. But instead of heading inside he walked carefully down the snow-dusted driveway and next door, knocking on Erika's door.

"I've got it," he heard Trevor call out from inside.

The door open and Trevor's face lit up before he shouted, "It's House, mom! And Evie! Can they come in?"

House laughed and stepped through the door, knowing she would say yes.

He looked up to see her enter the foyer, drying her hands on a towel. "Have you eaten?" Erika asked, reaching for Evie.

"No, not yet," he replied, releasing Evie to her.

"Would you like to join us?" she offered, moving into the living room for a moment to set Evie down on the couch until she could free her from her snowsuit. "I just put dinner on the table," she continued while lifting Evie from her wrappings.

"I don't know. Has your cooking improved any?" House warily inquired, looking at her doubtfully. He and Evie had eaten over the week before. Well, he had eaten. Evie had slept right through it.

He laughed at the look Erika shot him, raising his hand up to ward off her irritation. "Relax. I'm just joking."

"You better be, because it isn't often that you just drop in, which leads me to believe you came over wanting something and you better get me in a good mood if you want to have any hopes of winning me over to do whatever it is you want," she quipped, turning with Evie to go back into the kitchen.

House removed his shoes, Trevor standing at his side in clear excitement to have him over. House chuckled at his enthusiasm, knowing that it wasn't a normal response people had when seeing him. But he and the boy had really hit it off together, especially due to their bonding sessions over scars and battle wounds, which House had plenty of. "How was school today, kid?" he asked, straightening upright from where he'd been leaning against the wall.

"Good! Mom called and asked about the afterschool chess team and they said as long as I know basic chess, I could join! Since you've been teaching me, I might even be able to compete in January!" Trevor proudly announced.

House had pulled out a chess set at the beginning of the month thinking it might be something Trevor could learn that would allow him a way to compete with other kids now that sports were off the docket and restore some of his self-esteem. To his surprise, the kid wasn't bad. He seemed to be a quick study. They'd played a handful of times but while House had won each one, Trevor had put up a good fight.

"When would your first match be?" he inquired, stepping into the kitchen and pretending that he didn't notice the effort it took Trevor to unlock his legs when he went to sit down in the chair next to where Erika was motioning for House to sit.

"The tournaments take place one Saturday a month. I'm not eligible to be in them just yet. But there's a practice match for the new kids at my school who are in chess on January 31st," Trevor quickly informed him, casting him a hopeful look. "Will you come?"

House chuckled and met Erika's amused eyes before he finally said, "I tell you what. Talk your mom into springing for dinner afterwards and I'm all yours, kid."

"You got it!" Trevor replied, not even bothering to consult his mother.

Erika cleared her throat and waited until her son looked her way before raising her eyebrows and adjusting Evie in her arms. "I don't know that I WANT to be forced to eat with House in public, let alone pay for his meal."

"Aw mom!" Trevor pleaded. "Come on! You HAVE to say yes!"

She sighed heavily but then nodded resignedly. "I guess," she agreed finally. "But he better behave himself."

"Now why would I want to do that?" House asked skeptically, forking a slice of the lasagna she'd made out of the pan and placing it directly in his mouth rather than waiting for her to dish him up some.

"And why would I even think you were capable of behaving?" she drolly muttered.

* * *

House and Erika went into her living room and sat down on the couch while Trevor went upstairs to finish his homework. House grabbed the remote for her TV and started channel surfing while Erika fed Evie her bottle beside him.

"Trevor's legs are bothering him more today," he stated, once he was sure the boy was out of hearing range.

"I think it has to do with the temperature outside," Erika acknowledged. "His legs seem to grow stiff the colder it is outside."

House nodded but didn't say anything, momentarily distracted from the TV by his kid who was noisily sucking her formula down like she hadn't been fed all day. He stared at Erika then and realized that for whatever reason it was nice to see Evie in her arms. He had a feeling it had something to do with that niggling doubt in the back of his head that Evie was missing out on something by not having a mother, even as little as she was.

Erika noticed he was staring at her and Evie distractedly and wondered what he was thinking. She thought about asking but had another question she didn't want to forget. "So, what's the favor you need of me?"

House's mouth quirked up into a smile. "I was hoping we could swap kids for a few hours this weekend."

Her eyebrows rose in a question but she didn't voice it, waiting for him to explain.

He shrugged. "There's a monster truck demolition derby Saturday. My friend Wilson and I are going to go and I thought Trevor might want to come. Just us boys. I thought maybe you'd be okay with taking Evie for me."

She sighed, turning in her seat to lean towards him, her shoulder overlapping with his. "House, have I mentioned lately how much I appreciate you?"

He smiled and quipped, "That's the animal magnetism you feel towards me speaking."

She chuckled and rolled her eyes. "I was wondering what that was," she replied wryly as Evie finished the bottle and she sat her upright to burp her.

House reached a hand out to stroke Evie's cheek, laughing when her mouth moved in the direction of his finger.

"No, but seriously," Erika said after a moment. "I really do appreciate you. Nothing's been easy since… Ben died. And then with the car accident, well, Trevor had such a hard time coping until you came along. You've done so much for him. He's come so far since that day you dropped your pants."

House laughed. "See?! I told you this was animal magnetism talking!"

"House!" she groaned in protest, jostling his shoulder with hers. "I'm trying to say thank you."

"And I'm trying to change the subject," he said dryly. "There's nothing to thank me for. I saw myself in the kid. That's all there was to it."

She sat up to turn around and face him, allowing him to take Evie from her arms. Erika waited patiently until he finally looked at her.

"You're a good man, House," she murmured then, reaching out to lay her hand on his cheek.

"You do realize you are in the minority in believing that," he sarcastically replied, one eyebrow lifted in skepticism.

"Then the majority are idiots," she said, shrugging.

House smiled, thinking he really liked her. "So I take it the kid can come with next weekend?"

Instead of answering, she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek, surprising him.

"What was that for?" he asked in confusion, unable to read her.

"Trevor's had it rough. He lost his dad. He lost his ability to participate in sports. He lost interest in friends and life in general, overwhelmed by self-pity and a sudden inability to see his own worth. You've given him that back. And you invest in him. He's lucky to have you," she admitted, smiling tenderly at him before adding, "And I'm lucky to call you my friend."

House was embarrassed by her words. He broke eye contact and focused on Evie who was making a face that led him to believe she was working hard on a good poop. "I think my kid's going to need a diaper change shortly," House said to change the subject.

Erika shook her head but smiled, getting to her feet. "Come on. You should tell Trevor about Saturday yourself. He'll be ecstatic."

House got up to follow her up the stairs to Trevor's room, sticking his head in the doorway after she'd gone in. "Hey kid! Want to go to a monster truck demolition derby with me and my buddy Saturday?"

"You mean it? Really? You want to take me with?" he said in excitement, looking up at House, his eyes wide and clearly pleased by the invitation.

House shrugged. "If you want to come," he replied casually.

House had never seen Trevor move so fast. In a matter of seconds he was on his feet and at House's side, hugging him. "I take it that's a yes?" House asked in amusement, awkwardly patting the kid's head with his free hand.

Erika wrapped her arms around her waist where she stood a few feet away from the two and smiled. "I think that is a definite yes," she interpreted for him.

"Good. I needed someone to carry my drink," House joked.

Trevor released him and stepped back, but he was smiling broadly. "Can we eat hot dogs and nachos and popcorn?"

House laughed, shaking his head. "What are you? A bottomless pit?"

"That's actually pretty accurate," Erika dryly quipped before saying, "Trevor, it's time for you to get ready for bed. Say goodnight to House and Evie and then you need to go brush your teeth and put your homework in your backpack for tomorrow."

"Night House! Night Evie!" Trevor dutifully said, giving House a 100-watt smile before stiltedly trooping out of the room and down the hallway to brush his teeth.

"Night kid," House called out after going back into the hallway with Erika behind him, heading back downstairs and in the direction of where Erika had stowed their coats.

She reached into the closet and handed him his coat before reaching for Evie's snowsuit and taking her from him to place her in it. House put his coat on and then waited to take Evie back. When Erika handed her to him, she realized he hadn't bothered to zip up and sighed before reaching for his zipper and zipping it for him. House laughed but he stopped laughing when she wrapped her arms around him in a hug.

When she released him, he just looked at her. But she shrugged and then leaned in to press a kiss to Evie's cheek before opening the door.

Erika smiled and watched him walk away without a goodbye, leaning in the doorframe until he turned off her walkway onto the sidewalk, heading for home. Then she closed her door and her lips pursed as she thought of how much she really did like him and how thankful she was for the interest he'd taken in Trevor, before she headed upstairs to tuck her son in for the night.

* * *

House laid Evie down that night and stood next to the crib, staring at his sleeping daughter who looked so much like Cuddy that he physically hurt at times, especially tonight when the wounds of yesterday were still so fresh. Briefly he allowed himself to envision Cuddy as she'd been when she got out of her car and headed for her front door the night before, looking once more like the old Cuddy who'd held his heart in her hands for longer than he could remember. He knew it was pointless but he couldn't help picturing what it would be like to have her come home to him, to not just kiss Rachel's cheek in greeting but Evie's as well. Shaking his head House pushed the thought away, recognizing there were some things that would never be. And anyway, he didn't know how he'd ever be able to forgive her for what she'd done. When it came to Lisa Cuddy, there were some transgressions even House couldn't let slide. It seemed like a fist of fury formed in his gut at the very thought of what she'd so easily announced at PPTH. Walking to the door, he hit the light switch on his way out and headed for bed, his body longing for relief and rest in the same way his disillusioned heart needed them.

-----

"_**Look at me**_

_**My depth perception must be off again  
'Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did  
It has not healed with time  
It just shot down my spine  
You look so beautiful tonight  
Reminds me how you laid us down  
And gently smiled before you destroyed my life**_

_**Would you find it in your heart  
To make this go away  
And let me rest in pieces?  
(Let me rest in pieces)  
Would you find it in your heart  
To make this go away  
And let me rest in pieces?  
(Let me rest in pieces)  
Pieces**_

_**Look at me**_

_**My depth perception must be off again  
You got much closer than I thought you did  
I'm in your reach  
You held me in your hands**_

_**Would you find it in your heart  
To make this go away  
And let me rest in pieces?  
(Let me rest in pieces)  
Would you find it in your heart  
To make this go away  
And let me rest in pieces?  
(Let me rest in pieces)**_

_**Would you find it in your heart  
To make this go away  
And let me rest in pieces?  
Would you find it in your heart  
To make this go away  
And let me rest in pieces?**_

_**Would you find it in your heart  
To make this go away  
And let me rest in pieces?  
(And let me rest in pieces)  
would you find it in your heart  
and let me rest in pieces?**_

_**Would you find it in your heart?  
Would you let me rest in pieces?**_

_**Would you find it in your heart?  
Would you let me rest in pieces?**_

_**Would you find it in your heart?  
Would you let me rest in pieces?"**_

* * *

Song: "Rest In Pieces" (Saliva)


	46. Meant To Live

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Merry Christmas!! Enjoy the exceptionally LONG chapter!)_

* * *

November 19th, 2010

Wilson looked up after hearing a noise outside his door to see Cameron standing there.

"Well, I'm done," she informed him, almost as if she was surprised by the truth of her own declaration. "My last shift at PPTH came to an end ten minutes ago."

The corner of Wilson's mouth came up in a half-smile. "How are you feeling?" he inquired, getting to his feet.

She shrugged. "Relieved, and yet emotional, all at the same time. It's a bit surreal. I feel like PPTH has been a huge part of my life for so long and now this phase of my life is ending."

He nodded. "I think House felt that way too," he acknowledged, coming around his desk before asking, "Where's Chase?"

"He was going to walk me to my car when my shift ended but then he got called in for an emergency surgery and so he's not able to any longer," she admitted.

Wilson grabbed his coat and hit his light switch before turning back to his desk hesitantly and picking up a stack of files he had been putting off delivering to Cuddy but knew better than to put off any longer. "I'll walk you," he said then, shifting the stack in his arms to free a hand to close his door behind them. "Do you still have stuff to take out to the car?"

Cameron shook her head before buttoning up her jacket as they headed together for the elevator, both unconsciously glancing in House's office as they passed. "No," she replied. "Chase already helped me clear out my locker space during our lunch break. It's all out in the car."

Wilson nodded and stepped into the elevator after her when it arrived at the 4th floor a moment later. "Are you ready to start working at Riverside East?" he asked. "Are you prepared to deal with House's madness, day in and day out?"

She smiled and then queried, "I am a little crazy to have signed up for this so willingly, aren't I?"

Wilson chuckled. "Who knows?" he quipped, but sobered before asking, "Do people here know that you'll be working for him again?"

Cameron shrugged. "I think most people know I'll be working at RE. But I don't know that I've made it clear to anyone that I'll be working for House. And I think only a handful of people know he's working there."

The elevator opened in the lobby and they both got out. She glanced at the files in his hands and asked, "Do you need to drop those off with Cuddy?"

He nodded but offered, "I can walk you out to your car first if you want."

She shook her head. "How about I just wait here at the front desk for you? You can go in and hand them off while I say goodbye to Rhonda."

"Works for me," he agreed, detouring a moment later to head through the Clinic doors and towards Cuddy's office.

Wilson noted that Cuddy's light was still on and rapped on her door before entering.

Cuddy was in the process of putting her coat on to go home when she glanced his way.

"Hey," he said casually, not really knowing what else to say but knowing at some point he had to at least achieve a polite working relationship with her or this would get in the way of him doing his job. "I'm just dropping these off on your desk," he informed her then. "They can wait until Monday though. They only need to be initialed."

Cuddy nodded, feeling awkward herself. She moistened her lips before replying, "Okay."

Wilson stepped around her and set the stack on her desk before walking back past her to open the door, his eyes anywhere but upon her. He hesitated for a moment once the door was open but then left without saying anything more, not really knowing what there was to say anyway.

Cuddy watched him go and then picked her briefcase up from the floor to head out herself. As she approached the Clinic doors she saw Cameron at the front desk turn towards Wilson and smile before calling a goodbye to the nurse she'd been talking with a moment before. She suddenly remembered that this was Cameron's last day and halted in her tracks, not pushing the Clinic door open immediately.

"I'm ready," Wilson said to Cameron when he returned to the front desk.

Cameron smiled and then said goodbye to Rhonda before glancing over Wilson's shoulder and seeing Cuddy there, just inside the clinic, clearly also prepared to leave for the day. Her smile faltered but then she recovered and nodded slightly as if to silently say goodbye to her boss before turning and walking with Wilson out of PPTH.

Cuddy finally pushed the Clinic door open and walked out, some distance behind Wilson and Cameron who had already exited the building. When she stepped outside she could just make out their forms in the parking lot as they went their separate ways to their cars. Cuddy waited until their headlights came on and both cars began pulling out before she continued in the direction of her own car, brushing aside how infrequent it was that she'd ever avoided someone at the hospital in the past.

Once upon a time it probably would have bothered her that Cameron hadn't come to say goodbye to her or anything else for that matter, all week long. But not after everything that had happened over the course of the last year. However, the knowledge that Cameron had walked away from PPTH did somehow disquiet her for some reason. Maybe because Chase was still here. She wondered where she was going to be working and who had won her away from PPTH. In the end she supposed it wasn't all that important. It was just a relief to know Cameron's pregnancy would not be staring her in the face every day.

* * *

November 20th, 2010

"Did you have a good time?" Erika asked her son once she'd opened her front door to find House and Trevor standing there.

"It was SO cool, mom!" Trevor began expounding to her. "They smashed the cars to smithereens and the drivers didn't even get hurt! They were pounding on them and doing jumps and tricks! It was AWESOME! And House's friend Wilson bought me and House all kinds of food! We pigged out and I must have drank THREE large pops!"

"Wait a minute. Rewind. House's friend bought the food?" she asked, looking House's way and rolling her eyes after noting his smug look.

"Yeah," Trevor replied. "He's pretty cool."

"Wilson always buys. That's why I bring him," he quipped.

"House, you are… unbelievable," Erika finished, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared him down.

"I know," he agreed, pretending to buff his fingers against his shirt before asking, "Where's my kid?"

Erika smiled. "She's sleeping. But she was SO good for me. And she's becoming quite the talker with all that cooing. She melts my heart when she smiles. I bet she's got you wrapped around her finger already," she teased.

"Me? Never. Talk to me when she's doing wheelies in the front yard with her bike or gets her first black eye while playing hockey. Then she might catch my attention," he casually tossed out.

"Liar," she replied under her breath, heading upstairs for her bedroom to bring House's sleeping daughter to him. "Evie has you whipped."

"No female has Greg House whipped," he retorted as he watched her go upstairs, his eyes on the sway of her derriere.

"I guess time will tell," she called back to him.

* * *

November 22nd, 2010

"Honey, what do you want to do for Thanksgiving?" Evelyn asked Cuddy, standing in the entryway drying a dish with a towel as she looked to her for an answer. "Your father can't make it until Saturday but that doesn't mean we can't celebrate, just the three of us."

Rachel had gone to bed and Cuddy was in the midst of tackling a stack of paperwork she'd brought home with her. "I don't want to celebrate," she said without emotion. She wanted to tell her mother at that moment she didn't see anything to be thankful for, but she knew that wouldn't be true, even if it was how she felt. She was just so exhausted from work and a board member had come to her today after hearing rumors that Cuddy knew she was responsible for, regarding the baby. He had asked if she was seeking counseling and when she'd objected to the question, he'd told her he only asked because they'd received some comments from people at PPTH over recent months reflecting concern for how she was doing. He said he didn't want anyone to feel compelled to bring her private life up at a board meeting but that if it was affecting her ability to do her job or if others were questioning her performance, he'd prefer to be able to reassure them that she was in the process of recovery and fully equipped to do her job to the best of her ability. At that point she had acknowledged she was seeing someone, but she hadn't appreciated having to.

Evelyn stared at her but then sighed and turned to head back into the kitchen. It still seemed like her daughter had hit and miss days. Most were okay but occasionally she just seemed to have those that were bad. She wondered if her daughter would ever have a day that would go down on the calendar as good. She sighed again and put the dish away before picking up another one. If Lisa didn't want to celebrate, she guessed they wouldn't celebrate. But Rachel's birthday was coming up and there was no way she'd agree to not throw her grandbaby a party, even if it was a small one. Rachel deserved to celebrate her second year and Grandma Cuddles would make sure that happened.

* * *

November 25th, 2010

It was Thanksgiving and House was feeding Evie her bottle while waiting for Wilson to show up because they'd struck a bargain to order loads of takeout and camp in front of the TV together. The doorbell sounded and House went to get it. When he opened it to see Wilson there he ignored the armload of takeout bags and demanded to know, "Why didn't you let yourself in? You have a key."

Wilson rolled his eyes in consternation and when House about faced to walk back into the kitchen, he called after him, "Just where do you think you're going?! Need a little help here!"

House ignored him, forcing Wilson to slowly make his way unassisted into the dining room, where he deposited his armload of food on the table. "Thanks a lot!" he sarcastically muttered.

"No problem," House quipped, returning the bottle to Evie's mouth. "You didn't forget the Chinese, did you?" he asked then.

"I didn't forget the Chinese," Wilson dryly assured. "Nor the Italian, Indian, or Mexican cuisine on the list. I really don't know how we are going to eat this much though."

"We'll manage," House told him before passing the baby on to Wilson. "She needs to be burped," he told him over his shoulder after he passed to snoop in the bags of food.

"How's Uncle Wilson's favorite girl?" Wilson asked her in a silly voice, causing House to roll his eyes but Evie to smile. He turned her in his arms and began patting her back, immediately being rewarded with a burp.

Not to be outdone, House belched loudly and Wilson looked at him in disgust.

"What?" House asked innocently.

"Grow up," Wilson said somberly, though when he looked closer at what Evie had on, he thought it was kind of fitting. She had a little tee that made the statement, "Don't Look At Me! That Smell Is Coming From Daddy!"

House shrugged and dug in another bag, his hand coming out a moment later with an eggroll he immediately took a bite from. Thankfully, he swallowed before saying, "George could stand a diaper change too. Make yourself useful."

Wilson smiled contemplatively but House didn't catch it as he'd returned to digging through the bags to fish out the nachos. When he turned back around, Wilson and Evie were gone.

Wilson opened the door to Evie's closet and riffled through her clothes until he found a blue dress he was almost certain Cameron had bought, although it could have just as easily been purchased by Blythe, as he'd discovered several new additions to Evie's clothing selection the last time he'd gone exploring here, which had been shortly after Blythe's visit. He grabbed the hanger and carried it with him over to the changing table before stripping Evie down and changing her diaper before redressing her.

House handed Wilson a beer without looking at him, digging a non-alcoholic one out for himself. When he closed the fridge door he caught sight of what Evie was wearing. "Why do you insist on making my kid look like such a girl?" he grumpily demanded.

"Because she is a girl," Wilson drolly replied.

"George," House said sadly, leaning in close to her face, "Don't believe everything you hear."

"House, get some plates, would you?" Wilson huffed in annoyance.

He turned to the cabinets, smiling when he had his back to Wilson. He replaced the smile with his poker face before turning around with three plates.

Wilson saw the plates and looked at House in a quandary. "Is someone else coming over you didn't tell me about?" he asked finally.

"The third is for George. The Indian cuisine is hers. That kid sure loves her curry," he replied bemusedly with a shrug.

"I'm calling Child Protective Services," Wilson muttered then.

"Because my kid likes curry?" House inquired, as if surprised by such a declaration.

"Because she's being raised by an idiot who probably would give his two month old curry," he responded wryly. "I'm calling Child Protective Services and then I'm calling the Funny Farm to see if they're willing to come get you DESPITE it being a holiday."

House scooped Evie out of his arms and then settled her on his forearms, supporting her head with his palms before swinging her from side to side and singing out in a creepy voice, "They're coming to take me away, ha ha! They're coming to take me away, ho ho, hee hee, ha ha. To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away, ha ha!"

Wilson shook his head at how his best friend could quote the Funny Farm song from memory but all of a sudden House stopped mid-song and Wilson turned quickly to look at him before both of them looked at Evie in surprise. She wasn't just smiling. She was all out laughing.

They stared at her until her laughter died away and then Wilson took off running for the camcorder while House worked to get her started up again.

* * *

November 27th, 2010

Cuddy heard a knock at her front door but allowed her mother to get it, knowing her dad had finally arrived and not yet sure how to handle his presence, given the circumstances of her life. She heard the sound of her mother and father talking, accompanied by Rachel's enthusiastic greeting. She stayed in her room, uncertain what to do or what to say. She was still standing there when her dad came in a moment later.

"Were you planning to come greet your old man?" he asked her from her doorway, studying his daughter, just as lost as to how to go about this as she was.

She looked up at him and gave him a tremulous smile, suddenly feeling like a little girl who'd been caught being naughty and was about to get punished. Shame washed over her and she didn't even know why. All she knew was that his very presence was enough to make her totter on the edge.

Richard noticed but ignored it. "Where's my hug?" he asked, half-teasingly and half-serious.

Cuddy turned towards him and headed his way, tears suddenly spilling down her cheeks. "Hi daddy," she mumbled into his chest as she buried her face against him and wrapped her arms around him in a hug.

Lisa hadn't called him daddy in years and Richard knew she only ever called him daddy when things were terribly wrong. He sighed as he squeezed her tight, relaxing his hold a moment later to then hold her in a loose hug. "How's my girl?" he asked, trying to hide his concern. Evelyn had informed him she was slowly improving. But this didn't look like improving to him. Or if it was, he was almost thankful he hadn't been here to see her at her worst.

"I'm fine," she said as she tried to regain control of her breathing so that she wasn't trembling in his arms. Cuddy released him in order to wipe the tears away and sniff. "I don't know why I'm falling apart on you," she added, her throat closing on her due to all the emotion locked up there.

"You always were a daddy's girl," he teased gently, leaning back to study her face, brushing away another tear that had escaped her eye.

She laughed throatily before looking away and stepping back. "Rachel's gotten big, hasn't she?" she asked, needing to find a topic that would put her on even footing.

"She has," he agreed, nodding. "And she's clearly a very happy little girl."

Cuddy choked back a sob and then confessed, "That has more to do with mom than it has to do with me."

"Lisa honey, you're a good mother to that little girl. Don't sell yourself short," he instructed firmly. "Your mother said since you've gone back to work Rachel looks forward to the moment you come home, prancing around your feet the minute you enter the house, babbling excitedly."

Cuddy knew that was true but she couldn't deceive herself into believing it would be that way if her mother hadn't come to help her. She wasn't sure where either one of them would be if not for her mother's intervention.

Richard wrapped an arm around his daughter's waist and led her out of her room in the direction of the living room. "Now," he demanded, searching for a safe topic. "Tell me how work's going?"

* * *

November 28th, 2010

Evelyn glanced over at her husband as he drove. "You are going to behave yourself, aren't you?" she queried, an edge to her voice.

"You're worried about me?! It's him you should worry about!" Richard exclaimed indignantly. "That guy never knew how to keep his mouth shut. If anyone's going to start something, it'll be him."

Evelyn sighed heavily. "Forget it. Let's just go back to Lisa's. If you can't act decently, I'm not taking you anywhere."

Richard eyed her as if he couldn't believe what she was saying. He pulled over to the side of the road and then pursed his lips, his forehead wrinkling, before turning to her. "You can't be serious. I WANT to meet my granddaughter."

"Well then you better swear right now that you'll behave yourself," she said sharply, giving him the evil eye. "You never gave him enough credit. Even if he was a little rough around the edges, he's always loved your daughter. And you ought to be ashamed of yourself after all he's done to take care of Lisa and make sure she has someone looking after her!"

"A _little_ rough around the edges!" he muttered under his breath in protest.

"_Richard!_" she said warningly.

"Alright, alright! I'll behave," he declared.

"Promise me," Evelyn stated, crossing her arms over her chest.

Richard huffed out a breath but then reluctantly grimaced, "I promise."

"Turn left at the light," she said contentedly in reply.

House opened his front door to allow Evelyn, Richard, and Rachel in. Evie was sleeping but he figured she'd be up soon. He picked Rachel up before greeting both Evelyn and Richard.

Evelyn stared at her husband, watching him, clearly intent on making sure he behaved himself.

Richard ignored her and nodded in acknowledgement of House's greeting, though he eyed him in a way that made it clear his feeling about House hadn't changed all that much.

"How'd you manage to get away?" House asked Evelyn, telling himself he'd behave if only for Evelyn and Evie's sake, while directing them to the living room.

"Lisa's out taking advantage of the After-Thanksgiving Sales, buying Rachel's birthday present and some gifts for Hanukkah as well," she explained, sitting down on the couch.

House nodded, remaining on his feet while Cuddy's dad sat down next to his wife. House had taken Evie with him to get Rachel a birthday present the day before. He decided now was as good a time as any. Setting Rachel on her feet he pointed to the wrapped present across the room and she squealed in delight before running to it and ripping the paper off.

House laughed as she went to town, finally coming to her aid when she couldn't manage to pull the box open to get at what was within. He hadn't really known what to get her so he'd opted to buy her a doll, hoping that was the right choice. Apparently it was because the minute he lifted it out of the box, Rachel laughed and clapped her hands excitedly before reaching for it. House had to untwist the ties holding it in the box but then he handed it over to her and she skipped about with the baby doll until Evelyn reminded her of her manners.

"What do you say Rachel?" she inquired with a pointed look.

"Thank you," Rachel sweetly declared, launching herself at House and causing him to fall back slightly before he caught himself and adjusted her in his lap.

"You're welcome, kid," he replied, ruffling her hair.

Feeling Richard's eyes upon him, he met the man's gaze and tried to think of how to make pleasant conversation. Pleasant conversation was not his thing. Neither was small talk but he figured even if it wasn't something he excelled at, he better make an effort anyway. "How's work?" he settled on asking.

Evelyn elbowed Richard and he looked at her as if it was totally uncalled for but then turned back to House and replied, "Good. It keeps me busy. How's work for you?"

"Good," House answered stiltedly. "It's good."

An awkward silence filled the room for a moment and when Evelyn couldn't stand it anymore she pointed to a picture on the coffee table before her and smiled broadly as she lifted it up and asked, "Is this a new picture of Georgia?"

House nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah. Wilson took it just this week," he explained. "She's not just smiling now but she's started to laugh. We probably spent an hour videotaping her on Thanksgiving."

Evelyn studied the picture, making sure that Richard could see it. In the photo, Evie was lying on her belly in a blue dress that matched her eyes perfectly. She had her head and shoulders up off the ground as she smiled happily into the camera. "She's in a dress," Evelyn murmured in surprise.

"That was Wilson's doing," House admitted wryly, tucking a lock of Rachel's straight hair back behind her ear.

Rachel pushed herself up out of his lap and ran to grandma to see what she was looking at. "Baby?" she asked, looking back and forth from the picture to her grandparents.

"Yes, that's baby Georgia," Evelyn replied, nodding.

Just then there was a cry from the nursery and House pushed himself to a standing position to go to his daughter. He opened the door to her room and walked to the crib, smiling because she was only crying intermittently to inform him that she was awake, otherwise preoccupied studying her hands before her. She looked up when he loomed over her and broke into a wide grin, her hands waving in the air excitedly. House laughed and picked her up, moving to the changing table to change her diaper quick before lifting her up and settling her in his arms. She was doing much better at holding her head steady, though she still couldn't do it for too long. House headed back out to the living room with her and paused, trying to determine who to hand her to. Ultimately he shrugged and carefully gave her to Richard, figuring he hadn't had opportunity to meet his grandkid yet and maybe it would keep the peace. At the very least, it would score points with Evelyn to see him trying here. If she opted to fight Richard for Evie, more power to her.

Richard studied the baby in his arms who was just as intent on studying him. Evelyn had turned her body towards them, Rachel in her lap with her baby doll. Evelyn reached forward to take Evie's hand and coo at her, causing her to look at her in surprise before she smiled, oohing and aahing in response.

"I'm going to go prepare her bottle," House informed the room in general, heading for the kitchen.

Rachel came running in a minute later. "Cookies?" she asked hopefully, pointing at the pantry door.

House laughed, not surprised that she remembered. He imagined to a kid cookies were high up on the list of important things to keep around the house. He retrieved a few cookies for her while the bottle warmed up and then checked the temperature before heading back into the living room with Rachel following behind, dragging the baby doll across the hardwood floor with one hand as she munched on cookies with her other.

He handed Richard the bottle and then leaned against the wall, his arms folded over his chest, as Evie latched onto the bottle and began to drink contentedly.

"She looks like Lisa," Richard said roughly then, glancing House's way.

House nodded, not wanting to talk about Cuddy but knowing that was an undeniable truth.

"Except for Greg's eyes," Evelyn added, glancing at House affectionately before returning her eyes to the infant.

Richard wasn't sure how he felt about the man before him right now. On one hand, he didn't know House very well but what he remembered of the young man he'd met before had been enough to convince him that he was cocky and arrogant. While Lisa hadn't ever told either Evelyn nor himself what had happened to cause her to stop seeing him in med school, he remembered very clearly how she'd come home the next Christmas and had no longer been the girl she'd been before. Even when he'd reentered Lisa's life and started working at PPTH, Lisa had said repeatedly that he hadn't changed all that much over the years. He'd heard stories of stunts House pulled at work that had not given him any reason to like him any better.

But at the same time, his wife couldn't stop saying how wonderful she thought he was and Richard had to admit, whatever House was, Evelyn's commendation carried weight, especially when as much as he wanted to deny it, he could clearly see that for all rights and purposes House appeared to be taking good care of the baby in Lisa's absence and he was clearly fond of Rachel as well. He might not understand his daughter right now and why she'd chosen to walk away from her newborn daughter, but he couldn't help begrudgingly recognizing that House had stepped up to the plate and that his granddaughter was in good hands.

"Is she a good baby?" he asked him solemnly.

House nodded. "She is," he admitted, pushing off the wall to approach them and stroke his daughter's hair with a finger, smoothing it.

Evelyn looked from Richard to House, breathing a sigh of relief that things were going so smoothly.

Evie released the bottle, her eyes looking up to see him and smiling happily as she gurgled what remained of the formula in her mouth. Then she latched back on and continued drinking, her eyes shifting back to her grandpa.

"She sleeps through the night for the most part now," House said quietly then. "And she's adapted to being in daycare during the day while I work. Every once in a while she has her bad days and doesn't appreciate the fact that I can't hold her 24/7, but overall in the last week or two I'd say she's really found her groove."

Richard nodded and set the bottle aside now that it was empty. House headed for her diaper bag in the foyer to grab a burp cloth out and then handed it to Evelyn, as she'd taken Evie from Richard to burp her. She wiped formula from the baby's face a minute later and adjusted her in her lap so that Rachel, who was now sitting next to her, could look at the baby.

Rachel reached out and patted her. "Good baby," she said somberly. "Sleep now."

But Evie wasn't tired. She stared at her sister, gurgling at her as if they were in the midst of a conversation.

House smiled at the two of them and then headed for the closet to retrieve his camera. It would be nice if Evelyn lived closer. Once she went home, he wasn't sure they'd see much of Rachel any longer. He decided to make the most of it while he could.

"Thanks," Richard mutterd to House after Evelyn nudged him pointedly as he put his coat on. "For letting me see my granddaughter," he finished.

House shrugged. "You can see her anytime," he replied casually as he lowered himself to the ground and helped Rachel into her coat, zipping it up before handing her doll back to her. "Happy birthday, kid," he said then, drawing her to him to rub his scruff against her neck and make her giggle.

Evelyn handed him Evie when he stood back up before her husband helped her into her coat. She reached out and rubbed his cheek before patting it and saying, "You're a good daddy, Greg."

"Daddy," Rachel echoed, hugging his leg with one arm and smiling up at him sweetly.

House looked down at her, stunned. "That could definitely get us in trouble," he murmured to Evelyn, though he didn't correct Rachel because he didn't have the heart to do so. Not to mention the fact that he kind of liked it. "If Cuddy finds out about this…"

"You let me worry about my daughter," she said, drawing her shoulders up indignantly. "I hardly think Lisa's going to figure it out but even if she did, can she really fault us for coming to see the baby? Maybe for bringing Rachel with," she admitted. "But Rachel deserves to know her sister. Plus, Lisa never said we couldn't visit. And anyway, you're Georgia's daddy so by default, that makes you Rachel's too."

House looked at her skeptically but she shook her head. "Rachel needs a father. What aren't you doing that a father would do? You can't tell me that you don't love Rachel. You didn't have to buy her a birthday gift, but you did. So you don't live with her… big deal. Maybe someday this whole mess will resolve itself and…"

House interrupted before she could continue, not wanting to go down this road. "I'm glad you guys were able to come by," he quickly mumbled.

Richard looked at him, having heard all Evelyn had said and knowing what she'd intended to say. He could understand the other man's discomfort in guessing at the future. He might be willing to acknowledge that House was doing alright by Georgia, but he himself thought it was best for everyone involved if House kept away from his daughter, except where the baby was concerned. Still, the man had come to Lisa's aid and called Evelyn in. His wife was right on that account. He had a lot to be grateful for.

"You're a good father," he gruffly told him. "Thank you for… what you're doing and what you've done."

House was surprised by Richard's unexpected praise. "She's my kid," he replied hesitantly, not wanting the man to think he was criticizing Cuddy for walking away but just stating the truth. He didn't want to piss the man off when so far they'd survived the time together without an argument or shouting match. "Of course I'm going to do what I have to in order to provide and take care of her."

Richard nodded, knowing he hadn't been talking about the baby alone but also what House had done for Lisa, though he chose not to correct House's assumption. Then he reached behind him to open the door. "We should get going," he told Evelyn who was still staring at House, her lips pressed together as she thought about him and about her daughter's decision to walk away from all he could have offered her. She was still convinced Greg was the love of Lisa's life. Lisa just couldn't see it yet.

Evelyn glanced at her husband but then turned back to House, her eyes sad. "Maybe it's time for me to try and talk some sense into her," she suggested softly. "I know I agreed with you to leave it alone and wait for her to bring it up, but Greg honey, how long am I supposed to wait? What if she never brings Georgia up? It's been over a month already."

House shook his head, his eyes falling to the baby in his arms. "Evelyn," he mumbled. "I don't want Cuddy to change her mind because you've put pressure on her. She's got to decide for herself what she wants. And for all rights and purposes, she's already made that decision. I… I love that you come over and that you bring Rachel with you. But I don't want to talk about Cuddy anymore. I… can't talk about her anymore. What's done is done. Either she'll come around on her own or she won't. But I'm done. I've got to concentrate on moving on and doing the best I can for Evie. I… I know what it's like to have a parent who's present out of obligation but really wants nothing to do with you. I want better than that for my kid."

Evelyn stared at him, pained. Finally she nodded and reached for Rachel's hand, leading her out to the car. House closed the door behind them a moment later, forcing himself to put aside their last conversation to think of the visit as a whole. His expression turned contemplative. That had gone better than he'd dared to hope. He was surprised to find he'd meant it when he'd told Cuddy's dad he was welcome to come over whenever he wanted. He never would have expected to say that AND mean it.

* * *

Richard drove the car back towards his daughter's house, Rachel in the backseat cradling her baby and his wife in the seat next to him. He felt her eyes upon him but he didn't say anything, not sure what to say right now.

"Tell me what you're thinking," she prompted when the car reached Lisa's neighborhood, not wanting to lose an opportunity to ask him what he thought while she had it.

He glanced at her and sighed before saying, "I really don't know what I'm thinking. I don't understand any of this. But I never have."

Evelyn nodded, looking out her window. Finally she murmured, "He's really risen to the occasion though. He really is a good father to that baby."

"I know," he reluctantly acknowledged, nodding slightly as he turned the car down his daughter's street and parked in her driveway.

They sat in the car for a couple minutes until Rachel impatiently asked if she couldn't show mommy her baby doll now. Evelyn glanced at Richard but reached for her door handle, climbing from the car before opening the door to the backseat to unbuckle Rachel.

Richard got out as well and locked the car with his key fob as he took his wife's arm and walked up to the front door, Rachel skipping in front of them with her baby doll tightly pressed to her chest. He opened the front door of the house and waited for the two of them to enter before following them in.

Cuddy came out of the kitchen and Rachel darted in her direction but Evelyn caught her by her coat so that Rachel wouldn't track snow throughout the house. Rachel whined as her grandma unzipped her coat and removed her boots. Once she was free she ran to her mother, holding the baby doll up for Cuddy to admire.

Although she was smiling, Cuddy looked at her parents and shook her head. "You are going to spoil her," she dryly informed them. "It's not even her birthday yet."

Evelyn didn't know what to say but Richard quickly replied, "That's what grandparents are for," ignoring the look his wife shot him.

"It's a beautiful baby," Cuddy told her daughter, smiling at the way Rachel held her.

"My birtday," Rachel somberly told her mother.

"Yes, your birthday is coming up, isn't it?" Cuddy agreed.

"Daddy," Rachel continued, nodding.

Cuddy stared at her daughter in confusion and Evelyn looked at Richard in alarm but he stepped forward to block his daughter's view of his wife's face. "Yes. It's from granddaddy, isn't it?" he replied easily.

Rachel glanced at him but then repeated, "Daddy… He give it to me."

Cuddy looked from her daughter to her father, visibly relaxing. "You aren't around enough. I guess I'm going to have to start working on teaching her who you are."

"And she'll probably be confused for a while if you keep calling me dad," Richard added for good measure.

"Good point," Cuddy replied, nodding before getting to her feet as Rachel headed into the living room and climbed up on the couch with her baby doll. "I've just started dinner. It should be ready in a half hour or so," she called back over her shoulder as she made her way back into the kitchen.

Evelyn removed her jacket and took the hanger Richard extended to her. "Nice save," she murmured quietly.

He chuckled and replaced their hangers in the closet with their coats. "Yeah," he said, shaking his head.

"I just hope when she finds out the truth she'll be at a point where she'll be able to handle it, maybe even understand why I've never hesitated in bringing Rachel along. Otherwise, she might not be too quick to forgive us for this," Evelyn sighed sadly.

Richard reached a hand out and squeezed his wife's arm tenderly. "You can't worry about everything, honey," he gently told her.

"Head-wise I know that," she agreed, wrapping her arms around him in a hug. "But it's a little harder to tell that to my heart."

"Aw yes," he replied philosophically, his hands running over her back. "A parent's job is never done. And even if there was nothing to worry about, a mother would FIND something to worry about."

Evelyn laughed and relaxed in his arms. "I think I'll go see if Lisa needs any help," she informed him.

He nodded. "Sounds good. I think I'm going to head upstairs and take a catnap."

She smiled and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him briefly. "Alright, dear. I'll come up and wake you when dinner's on the table."

He waited until she turned to walk away but then he smacked her backside affectionately. "If she doesn't need any help, come on up. I'm sure I could occupy you until supper."

"Richard!" she scolded, though she was smiling. "We're in our daughter's home!"

He laughed. "Didn't stop us last night," he teased, taking a moment to enjoy the color flooding her cheeks before heading for the stairs.

* * *

December 1st, 2010

Kate's secretary told Cuddy to go on in and so she did. Kate looked up and smiled at her patient.

"Come on it," she said pleasantly. "Would you like some tea?"

"That would be great," Cuddy admitted. It had been a while since her last appointment because returning to work took so much out of her and though she'd tried to schedule a few times, in the end she'd always had to postpone.

Kate got to her feet and walked over to her coffee machine, grabbed a mug, and then held down the lever for the hot water, filling it. A moment later she placed it on the table next to Cuddy and offered her the basket containing various teabags. She watched her as she chose a teabag and opened it, placing it in her cup to steep. Cuddy had only been in for two appointments and both of them had taken place before Kate had heard the news that Cuddy's pregnancy ended in a stillbirth. Strangely enough, so far the only thing she'd managed to coax out of her client was the history of how Rachel came to be Cuddy's daughter leading on through her illness and then they'd talked quite a bit about Cuddy's guilt regarding not being a better mother to her child. She also knew Cuddy's mother was staying with them at the present, helping her get back into the swing of things. Beyond that, there was very little Cuddy had opted to open up about and while Kate considered that unusual, Cuddy was obviously a very private person regarding her personal life and again, they'd only had two appointments so far.

"How are you?" Kate asked her.

"Rachel's second birthday was last night," Cuddy replied, not really answering the question because she never knew anymore how she was. She was fine, she supposed. Nothing more, nothing less.

"Did you do anything special for it?" Kate asked, smiling.

"My dad was able to take some time off work so he drove up this Saturday and then last night he, mom, Rachel and I celebrated her birthday by going out to eat. I was going to just cook for everyone but my mom really wanted to get out and I know she's a little trapped at the house these days so we did," Cuddy explained.

"Did Rachel have a good birthday?" Kate inquired, glad that Lisa had chosen to get out of the house when she knew from their conversations that right now she didn't have much of an interest in being anywhere but either at work or at home.

"I think she did," Cuddy replied after thinking it over.

Kate nodded and Cuddy looked away, trying to decide what she wanted to talk about.

When Cuddy finally looked up to meet Kate's gaze, Kate decided to take a gamble and softly said, "I heard about your baby. I'm very sorry for your loss."

Cuddy stared at her in alarm and then licked her lips before mumbling, "I'm not ready to talk about that."

Kate nodded and asked, "What would you like to talk about?"

Cuddy glanced away but finally softly replied, "I'd like to tell you about Lucas."

"Okay. I'd love to hear about him," Kate encouraged, taking her seat.

Cuddy took a sip of her tea but it was still too hot to drink so she set it aside and moistened her lips again. "I met Lucas through someone in the hospital who hired him. He was a private investigator – probably still is one," she amended. "He was around the hospital for a while about two years ago and while I know he was interested, at that point I wasn't."

"How'd you know he was interested?" Kate asked.

Cuddy shrugged. "He was hanging around the clinic spying on me and I caught him going through my desk once. When I asked him what he was doing, he basically said snooping was a good way to get to know someone you were intending to ask out."

"But you weren't interested?" she repeated, not because she herself would be interested in someone who snooped through her things but because she was trying to sum up how Cuddy had felt.

Cuddy shook her head. "Flattered, yes. Interested, no."

"Why not?" Kate asked, encouraging her to continue.

"I guess I was interested in someone else at that time," she replied, not expanding on her answer and averting her gaze.

Kate waited for her to continue and after a moment Cuddy said, "The May before last, I was with Rachel at the grocery store when I felt like someone was following me, turning down every aisle I went down. When I looked around, I spotted Lucas. I recognized him and asked him if he was following me. He admitted he was, trying to get up the courage to say hello. We ended up talking for a while and I agreed to meet him for coffee later that week. We ended up hitting it off and started seeing each other." Cuddy knew there was a whole lot more to it but she was being very methodical about focusing only on one person at a time, mainly because she couldn't yet handle talking about House. Rachel was fairly easy to open up about. Even Lucas was without too much complication, up until the events surrounding Christmas last year and the months that followed. But House, House was at the center of everything and she didn't let herself think about him yet, let alone talk about him. Talking about House would be opening wounds she wasn't ready to expose to antiseptic. Talking about Lucas was bad enough.

Cuddy reached for her mug and sipped her tea before continuing. "Lucas was sweet and funny. He was caring. I could tell him anything and he was very accepting of not only who I was but every little part of what made me, me. He admired me: my drive, my strengths, my successes. And he was great with Rachel. There was never a moment when I had to question whether he could accept her or whether he'd make a good father. It was obvious. And he was funny and… cute. I was hesitant at first. I… don't have the greatest history of relationships and I didn't want to get too invested in this one in case it fell apart down the road. But when he asked me to marry him a year ago, I said yes. We were supposed to be married at the end of last February, if I hadn't gone and messed it all up," she finished sadly.

"Why'd you say yes?" Kate inquired, curious because of the way Lisa had worded everything and had gone from saying she was afraid of getting too invested to agreeing to marry him.

Cuddy looked taken aback for a moment and Kate explained, "You've described him to me but you haven't really said how you felt about him."

"Well, I loved him! Of course I loved him! He was stable, dependable. He would have made a wonderful father for Rachel. He loved me. What was not to love?" Cuddy hurriedly declared. "He was my fairy tale ending. I knew we could build a future together."

Kate thought over her words but opted not to delve deeper at the moment. "What happened between you and Lucas that he ended things?" she asked.

"It was Christmas Eve and he was over at my house," she began. "The other guy, the one I slept with later on, he was there too. My mom was staying with Rachel and I through the holidays and when Lucas took Rachel to put her to bed, she asked me if we intended to have more children. Lucas and I hadn't discussed it but I told my mom that I was very open to the idea. The other guy… he interrupted our conversation to say Lucas couldn't have kids. I thought he was just trying to upset me. I knew he wasn't happy about my impending marriage. He'd been trying to break us up. Lucas overheard us fighting and when he came out he told me that he really couldn't have children and hadn't known I'd wanted to have more. I'd tried IVF without success and he just figured that I wasn't able to have children."

"How did you feel about the fact that Lucas couldn't have children?" Kate probed, leaning forward towards Cuddy. She was interested to know the other man was present but she put that aside for the time being.

She shrugged. "It was a surprise but after a minute I told him that it didn't matter to me."

"What did he say?"

Cuddy reached for her mug and warmed her hands on it while responding. "He said he was leaving and when I asked why, he said there was just too much conspiring to keep us apart, between the other guy and Lucas not being able to give me children that I obviously wanted. He said he couldn't marry me. He said he didn't want to have to question whether I'd resent him in the future for not being able to give me more kids. I told him I loved him and I didn't want our wedding called off. I told him even if it meant not having children together I wanted to be with him. I hadn't meant it the way he took it but he said he didn't want it to be at that cost. And that maybe I let the other guy hang around because underneath it all, I wanted him around. Then he left and while I chased after him, he didn't stop. He didn't change his mind." Cuddy had tears slowly running down her cheeks and Kate extended the box of tissues to her, a sympathetic expression on her face.

She waited until Cuddy dried her eyes and blew her nose to quietly ask, "Does the other guy have a name?"

"I don't want to say," Cuddy adamantly stated, her shoulders straightening.

Kate wondered if that meant he was someone from the hospital. She couldn't imagine another reason to not want to say his name, unless it would cause her pain. If he was from PPTH though, that would definitely be interesting. "Why was the other guy there?" she settled on querying.

Cuddy looked away but then murmured, "He wanted to be with me. But I'd told him time after time that we would never be anything. I was with Lucas. I wanted to be with Lucas. He didn't want to accept that. He came Christmas Eve to bring a gift for my daughter. My mom invited him to stay. I tried to get him to leave but he didn't until after Lucas broke off things and left."

Kate didn't know what to say. Finally she asked, "You had sex with him though? After Lucas was out of the picture?"

Cuddy's head swung up and she defensively declared, "I didn't want things to be over with Lucas!"

Kate masked any reaction to her statement as she tried to determine how to continue. Obviously Lisa's emotions were still strong within her over all that had happened.

Before she could say anything, Cuddy got to her feet. "I need to go. I have to get back to work."

Kate glanced at the time. They still had ten minutes left but she knew it would do no good to press her if she wanted to leave. "Will you be back?" she asked calmly.

Cuddy hesitated but nodded slowly. "I'll schedule another appointment with your secretary on my way out."

"Okay, good," Kate said in acceptance. "I will see you next time then."

Cuddy nodded again and turned to walk out the door.

Kate got to her feet once the door closed behind her and she picked up Lisa's mug before carrying it over to the sink to empty it. It was interesting to note what caused Lisa to shut down on her and what made her want to run. She had a feeling that as long as she didn't push too hard, she'd be seeing Lisa for quite some time to come. This was obviously something Lisa could not entrust her with in just a few visits, nor work through alone. Kate just hoped she'd open up and allow her to help work through everything. If she didn't, they'd never get to the bottom of why Lisa was here and then there wouldn't be much Kate could do to help her.

* * *

December 8th, 2010

Kate reviewed the notes she'd made last time while she waited for Lisa to show up for their appointment. She would really like to increase the frequency of their appointments but Lisa's schedule did not allow for it. She also figured her last week had been occupied with her family as Lisa was Jewish and it had been Hanukkah, after all.

Linda came on over the intercom just then and said, "Dr. Cuddy's here to see you."

"Thanks Linda. Send her on in," she replied, setting her notes aside on the desk.

Cuddy walked in and closed the door behind her before greeting Kate and taking a seat.

After checking to see if she wanted something to drink, Kate asked, "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

Cuddy froze but finally tilted her head slightly, giving her permission.

"During our first appointment you said that when Lucas broke off your engagement you felt like your life was out of control. Why?" Kate inquired, leaning across the desk towards Cuddy.

Cuddy looked away but said, "He was my last chance at obtaining everything I wanted. I had a child. I had my job. But I wanted to find someone who could share my life with me too. He was everything I wanted. And then he was gone. He walked away. I… Like I've told you before, I haven't had the greatest track record with relationships. Lucas was a good man. If I couldn't make it work with him, I knew I'd never be able to make it work with anyone."

"Don't you think that's taking it a little far?" Kate gently asked.

"No," Cuddy stated adamantly.

"So you are telling me, your future happiness hinged on having a successful relationship with Lucas?" Kate queried.

Cuddy hesitated but nodded slowly after a moment.

"And if he had died? What then?" she asked.

"I don't know," Cuddy replied honestly.

"What if you two had married and he had cheated on you?" Kate inquired next.

"Lucas would never have cheated!" she declared immediately.

Kate nodded, accepting this conclusion. "But if he had?" she pressed.

"I… I don't know," Cuddy answered finally.

"Okay," Kate said, willing to move on. "Do you believe that there is only one person for everyone?" she asked then.

Cuddy couldn't help but think of that day in her office when Wilson had tried to convince her that House was the one for her and she'd said that she didn't believe there was only one person for everyone but that if there was, House wouldn't be hers. She closed her eyes against the memory.

"What are you thinking about?" Kate inquired.

Cuddy shook her head, not wanting to say.

"At the risk of having you get up and walk out on me, Lisa, we're never going to get anywhere if you choose not to open up," Kate said softly.

Cuddy sighed and looked away but she said, "This other man I've been telling you about… Well, last fall when he made it clear he was interested in… me, his friend who was also my friend at the time came to me and attempted to convince me that…"

Kate interrupted despite not wanting to. "Can we give him a name? He needs a name. Otherwise you're going to have to constantly clarify who you are talking about. If you don't want to use his real name, can you just make a name up for him?"

Cuddy stared at her for a moment but then nodded. "Alright. I'll call him… Henry."

Kate smiled in relief and said, "Okay and what about his friend? What do you want to call him?"

"William," she threw out, vaguely embarrassed that she was being so infantile about this.

"Alright. So, William came to you and tried to convince you…" Kate began.

"To convince me that I was making a mistake in not giving… Henry a shot," Cuddy continued. "He said that Henry was my one and only and I… I said that I didn't believe there was only one person for everyone but that if there was, Henry wouldn't be mine."

"Have you changed your mind since then?" Kate asked.

"About Henry?" Cuddy asked concernedly.

"No," Kate corrected. "About there only being one person for everyone."

"I… I guess so. It sounds that way," Cuddy acknowledged.

"Why did you change your mind?" Kate probed.

"I don't know," Cuddy admitted.

"Okay, we're going to move on but I want you to think about that for next time. Also, think a little more about why Lucas was your one shot," Kate directed. She didn't know how important it was yet but she thought Lisa needed to come to a point where her happiness was not tied up in this Lucas.

Cuddy nodded that she would.

"When Lucas left, you said you went after him. What happened in between the time he left your house Christmas Eve and the moment you went to his place after sleeping with Henry?"

Cuddy took a deep breath and then went back to that day in her mind. "I thought he was overreacting to the situation Christmas Eve. He left my house and headed for his car. It wasn't until he was already in his car that I reacted and ran after him. But he drove away. I went back inside the house and Henry was still there with my mother. I yelled at him and kicked him out of my house. Then after checking on Rachel, I got in my car and headed for Lucas's apartment. He didn't answer so I entered his apartment with my key. He wasn't there. I left him a note asking him to give me a call so that we could talk. I was trying to remain calm. But Christmas day passed without him contacting me and by that time I was panicking. I went back to his apartment the following day but he still wasn't there. He didn't answer his cell phone either. So I went to the police station and tried to file a missing person's report, but they wouldn't take me seriously. They said it sounded like a lover's spat and he'd probably turn up in a few days without their assistance. They did allow me to fill out the form but I wasn't convinced they were going to look for him. The man I talked to said it was most likely a case of him not wanting to be found. I suppose now that they were right. At that time, he didn't want to be found. I waited and waited and waited for him. To call. To show up. Anything. I was so distraught. The more time passed, the worse it was. And I thought it would be a relief to go back to work but…"

Cuddy cut herself off abruptly. She'd been about to say that then she'd have to deal with "Henry." She wasn't sure she was ready for Kate to know that "Henry" had worked at PPTH.

Kate waited for Lisa to continue but she was biting her lip uncertainly as if she wasn't sure she wanted to say whatever came next. Kate tried to think of how to get her back on track. But Cuddy had figured a way around it.

"On December 30th, I had a fight with Henry," she said. "Things somehow… escalated and we had sex. I never intended for it to happen in the first place and certainly not to be anything more than a one-time thing. But Lucas had accused me of harboring feelings for Henry and Henry himself… Anyway, in the middle of the night Lucas called my cell phone. But before I could answer it, Henry did. I grabbed my phone from him but it was too late. I left his place and drove to Lucas's house. His light was on so I went up and knocked on the door. He allowed me in, apologized for how he left Christmas Eve, but just when I thought there was a chance we could work through it, he said that he had left to get some time to think things through and that he'd concluded that it was over for us. I didn't understand why. I didn't want to lose what we had and I told him once again that it didn't matter if we couldn't have children. I just wanted to be with him. But Lucas said even without the issue of not being able to have kids, he had realized the other day that Henry would always be between us. I said he wouldn't. He… he pointed out that I had just been with him and that I'd obviously had sex with him. I tried to tell him it didn't mean anything and that it just happened. I was scared about his disappearance and angry with Henry for his interference. I went to his apartment to confront him and it just… happened. But I told Lucas it was over and it would never happen again. He told me I needed to give Henry a shot. I was too stunned to believe I'd heard him right. He said Henry and I had a history together and we were obviously both committed to keeping each other in our lives. He said there was a reason why I'd slept with him and that the wedding was off. I tried to argue. I tried to tell him it had all been a mistake and I didn't want to be with Henry. But nothing I said changed his mind. He didn't believe me. I said I'd do anything to convince him I was done with Henry once and for all and keep him from walking out of my life. But he was adamant about me giving Henry a shot and I was just as adamant that I wasn't going to add to my mistakes. He opened the door, basically telling me to leave. I… I gave him his key back, hoping he'd stop me, hoping he wouldn't accept it. But he did. And so I left. I was still trying to figure out a way to convince him that he was wrong. I called him. All the time. I e-mailed him. But he never answered and never responded. One day I discovered he had moved. Then his phone was cancelled and I… had no other way to get a hold of him," she finished, her voice trailing off as she wiped at the tears cascading down her cheeks.

Kate had already given her the Kleenex box. Now she sat there allowing Lisa some time to just work through her emotions, knowing they'd need to delve into them deeper next time but that they were already over their allotted time. She had about ten minutes until her next client showed up.

Since Lisa was lost in thought, she reached for her notepad and wrote down the two things she wanted Lisa to think about for next time. Then she tore the sheet off the pad and folded it in half before saying, "Lisa, I'd like you to take this slip of paper with you and think about the questions I've written down for you so that when you come back in next time, you'll have an idea of what we'll be concentrating on."

Cuddy nodded and took the paper, tucking it in her purse without looking at it.

"How are your meds working for you?" Kate asked then.

"Fine," Cuddy acknowledged.

"How are you sleeping?" Kate inquired next.

"I still take a sleeping pill on occasion but not every night," she admitted, glancing down at her hands.

"Are you eating regularly?"

Cuddy nodded, not expanding on her answer.

Kate pursed her lips but then asked, "Is there anything else you want to tell me or anything you'd like to talk about next week that we haven't really discussed yet?"

Cuddy did not even think about it. She shook her head from side to side. Talking about Lucas was all she could handle at the moment.

Kate nodded and got to her feet, Cuddy doing the same. "Remember if you need to call me, you can. And if you want to, we can increase the frequency of your appointments or even the length of them, if that would be easier," Kate concluded, coming around the desk to walk with Cuddy to the door.

"I know," she acknowledged then. "But I've just got so much already on my plate," she said dismissively.

Kate nodded and said goodbye a moment later as Cuddy headed out the door. She watched her go, thinking they were getting somewhere, though maybe not making as much progress as she'd like. She'd never really known Lisa Cuddy all that well. But she wasn't what she'd expected, that was for certain. She'd always thought Lisa Cuddy was a strong, self-assured, confident woman. But the woman who had just left was fragile and broken and she'd seemed to have fallen into the trap of thinking someone else could make her happy. Kate had never really bought into that idea. If anything, she thought those who believed that were setting themselves up for disappointment. She couldn't deny that Lisa Cuddy had been disappointed. Kate turned to Linda and let her know that she could send her next patient right in when he arrived before she turned back to reenter her office, hoping to jot down some notes before he showed up.

-----

"_**Fumbling [her] confidence  
And wondering why the world has passed [her] by  
Hoping that [she's] bent for more than arguments  
And failed attempts to fly, fly**__**  
We want more than this world's got to offer  
We want more than this world's got to offer  
We want more than the wars of our fathers  
And everything inside screams for second life, yeah**_

_**We were meant to live for so much more  
Have we lost ourselves?  
Somewhere we live inside  
Somewhere we live inside  
We were meant to live for so much more  
Have we lost ourselves?  
Somewhere we live inside**_

_**Dreaming about Providence  
And whether mice or men have second tries  
Maybe we've been livin' with our eyes half open  
Maybe we're bent and broken, broken**_

_**We were meant to live for so much more  
Have we lost ourselves?  
Somewhere we live inside  
Somewhere we live inside  
We were meant to live for so much more  
Have we lost ourselves?  
Somewhere we live inside**_

_**We were meant to live for so much more  
Have we lost ourselves?  
We were meant to live for so much more  
Have we lost ourselves?  
We were meant to live for so much more  
Have we lost ourselves?  
We were meant to live  
We were meant to live"**_

* * *

Song: "Meant To Live" (Switchfoot)


	47. Christmases When You Were Mine

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Another REALLY long chapter as we reach a House Christmas! Here we go! The saga continues!)_

* * *

December 10th, 2010

"Mom," Cuddy said from the doorway to the laundry room, where she was leaning against the doorpost with her arms crossed over her chest.

Evelyn turned the knob to start the washer and then looked at her daughter. "Uh-huh?"

Cuddy looked away but then said, "I think when dad heads home Sunday, you should go with him."

"What?" Evelyn said in confusion.

Cuddy shrugged. "You've been here almost two months now. I think it's time for you to go home and back to your own life. Rachel and I will be fine. I've already called the nanny and she said she'd love to come back. She spoke to the agency and can be here Monday."

Evelyn was surprised that Lisa had never even discussed it with her. She supposed that was like her daughter to do, make a decision and then inform her of it, leaving no room for argument. She was generally a take charge person. It shouldn't catch her off guard. But it did. There were very few decisions Lisa had made since her arrival without consulting her first. "You want me to go home?" she repeated softly.

Cuddy gave her a pointed look, uncrossing her arms to straighten up. "I'm not trying to kick you out. I'm just telling you that it's time you stop worrying about me. And I need to know that I can do this. I need my life back. You can still come for visits and check up on me. I'll even agree to call you regularly and check in. But I'm doing better and dad misses you. This isn't fair to him or to you."

"But I don't mind being here," Evelyn interjected, torn between the daughter she still thought needed her and the desire to be back with her husband.

Cuddy smiled and walked to her mother, wrapping her arms around her in an embrace. "Mom, I really appreciate all you've done for Rachel and I. I… I don't know what would have happened to us if you hadn't come…"

Evelyn hugged her daughter back but she couldn't accept all the credit for that and if her daughter really was sending her off, she didn't want to leave without saying something. Interrupting, she firmly said, "You don't have me to thank for coming. You have Greg to thank for calling me and having me come. Without Greg, I might never have known you needed me."

Cuddy stiffened in her arms and Evelyn waited, uncertain how she was about to react.

Cuddy remained stiff but continued as if her mother hadn't said anything. "I'm really thankful that you came, mom." Then she released her and drew back, looking at the floor.

"Honey," Evelyn began.

"Don't," Cuddy stated warningly, knowing her mom was going to try and push her luck.

Evelyn stared at her for a moment but then her shoulders crumpled and she looked at the floor. "I'll let your dad know," she said quietly.

* * *

That night Evelyn and Richard were laying in bed when she turned to him from staring up at the ceiling and asked, "What are we going to do?"

Richard didn't have to ask what she was talking about. He knew what she was referring to. He set the book he was reading aside on the nightstand and then removed his reading glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose before he turned towards his wife. "I don't know," he said then, his lips pursing together as he considered the situation. "We could force the subject tomorrow. But we risk only pushing her away further. From how she reacted to you just mentioning House, it might be smart to just bide our time a little longer. Wait until she is better."

"Are you saying that because Greg asked me to leave it alone?" Evelyn asked concernedly after a pause of staring at him doubtfully.

"I'm saying that because our daughter is headstrong. If she's determined to not be involved, she's the one who needs to change her mind. Pushing her often just makes her push back harder. Guilt works with her. But sometimes it carries its own costs and I think she's going to be under a heap of guilt anyway when she comes to her senses. Do you think we can get her to change her mind without making her feel guilty? I don't. Since you said she has until Georgia's a year old, there's still time for her to come to her senses without us trying to pressure her into it." He paused and then reluctantly added, "I'm also saying that because Lisa's decision right now is only hurting her."

"It's hurting Greg too," Evelyn interrupted, propping herself up on an elbow to stare at her salt and pepper-haired husband as she bit her lip.

Richard rubbed a hand over his face. "I'm not worried about what it's doing to him," he muttered. "He can handle it."

Evelyn sat up and gave him a dirty look.

Richard had a feeling he'd be sleeping downstairs on the couch if he didn't start compromising.

"Fine," he acknowledged. "But you think they should be together and I think all that has brought them is misery. If he actually made Lisa happy, maybe I'd feel differently. But that guy's trouble."

"Can't you even sympathize with him a little in this?" she demanded.

Richard groaned. "Alright," he begrudgingly admitted. "I can see where he's coming from as far as wanting Lisa to come back because she wants to; willingly. If you hadn't wanted one of our girls and I'd had to force you to go through with the pregnancy and then watch you walk away afterwards… I don't know what I'd do. But I know it would have devastated me," he said tenderly, reaching out to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. "I imagine if she came back because we guilted her into it, that would be complicated. And he's right; Georgia is little enough where she doesn't know any different. She's a happy baby who is… well taken care of. That beats the stress it would add to the situation if Lisa was there but against her will."

Evelyn sighed heavily and then murmured, "I think as much as Lisa needs healing, he's got his own scars from this."

Richard didn't really care about whatever scars he might have. Instead of saying so, he attempted to reassure his wife. "It's all just going to take time. We need to accept that."

Evelyn flounced back upon her pillow. "Shouldn't she have made more progress by now? I mean, she's seeing a counselor. Isn't that helping?"

"Does she say what they talk about?" Richard asked curiously.

Evelyn shook her head.

He thought for a moment and then mumbled, "I suppose some wounds take longer to heal than others. Especially if you are doing your best to convince yourself they don't exist. Or that you're in the right when something inside you tells you you're wrong."

"But does she have any idea of how wrong she is about this?" Evelyn inquired as she reluctantly reached beside her to turn off the light.

"Lisa's never hesitated to defend her opinions or decisions in the past when she believes in them. The fact that she can't even handle mentioning… House or the baby makes me think yes, somewhere inside her she does," he replied, reaching for his wife in the darkness.

"I hope you're right," she mumbled as she settled herself against his side. "I hope you're right."

* * *

December 11th, 2010

"You're leaving?" House asked from the other end of the line.

"Yes. We're leaving tomorrow," she admitted reluctantly. "But I'll be back to visit and check in. You'll send me pictures and call, won't you?"

"Yeah," he replied, assuring her. "No problem. Do you have Skype? I've brought my own mother into the 21st Century so that she can see Evie by Skype."

"I'll have Richard figure it out. He probably knows more about it than I do," she acknowledged.

"So I guess this means I won't be seeing Rachel anymore for a while," House finally said what was weighing on him heaviest.

Evelyn sighed in sympathy. "I'll bring her over when I next come to town," she promised.

House smiled self-depreciatingly. He had to have come across as pathetic. "Do that," he instructed anyway.

"Sorry we can't bring her over before we go," she said then. "But would you mind if we swung by tomorrow on our way out of town? Will you be home?"

"We'll be here," he replied confidently. "Come by whenever."

"Thanks Greg, honey," she murmured softly.

"See you tomorrow Grandma Cuddles," he quipped before hanging up.

* * *

December 12th, 2010

House opened the door for Richard and Evelyn to come in and she immediately scooped the smiling baby out of his arms after removing her coat. Richard chuckled at his wife, taking her coat from her and hanging it up in the closet with his.

"How are you?" he hesitantly asked then, turning to House. Evelyn had once more prodded him about being polite and behaving while they waited at the door.

"Can't complain," he replied casually. "Are you ready for the drive home? Evelyn's following you in the other car?"

"Yes. We'll probably stop along the way to grab some dinner but the weather report looks good," Richard informed him as the two of them followed Evelyn into the living room.

House nodded. "Can I get you guys anything to drink?" he offered.

"Coffee would be good," Evelyn replied, Richard slowly nodding in agreement.

House left them with their granddaughter and headed into the kitchen to make some coffee.

Evelyn watched him go but then refocused on the baby. "She really is beautiful, isn't she?" she murmured to her husband.

"She is," he agreed, nodding as he reached forward to stroke a hand over her head. "Remember how Lisa's hair used to be straight like that, sticking out here and there? It used to kill me."

Evelyn laughed. "I remember that day I went to the store and came home to find you trying to braid it, frustrated when the little rubber hairbands wouldn't stay in."

Richard scowled. "Don't remind me. That wasn't my best hour."

Evelyn laughed melodiously, amused at the contemptuous expression on her husband's face. "I don't know which one of you was more frustrated," she admitted. "Lisa's hair was hardly long enough to braid as it was."

"What are you two laughing about?" House asked as he came back in and set their coffee mugs before them.

"She's laughing. I'm not," Richard muttered under his breath.

House raised an eyebrow and Evelyn laughed before explaining. "When Lisa was just under a year old, Richard volunteered to watch her while I went to the store. He got bored though and decided he'd try and score points by doing her hair in little bitty braids. Her hair was a lot like Evie's, though longer by then. Still, it was hardly long enough for braids. By the time I got home, she was crying, he was frustrated, and her hair had about five little braids sticking out at awkward angles here and there on her head, the hairbands doubled so many times that the ends of her braids were like little knots ten times the thickness of each braid."

"Yeah, don't count on me doing anything that ridiculous," House dryly quipped.

Richard shot him a hard look but House smirked. "You're welcome to try it with Evie, though," he volunteered.

Richard glared at him drolly but then reached for the baby, taking her into his lap. "Just you wait," he said pointedly to House. "Daughters make fools out of their old mans. Your turn is coming."

House couldn't argue that one.

* * *

December 23rd, 2010

Cuddy looked out into the lobby from within the clinic at the crowd who had gathered for the Christmas party. The caterers were doing a good job going around with punch and appetizers, people were happily munching and chatting, and it looked like another successful Christmas party for PPTH. She spotted Foreman and Thirteen talking with Taub near the Christmas tree. Without thinking, she searched the room but failed to find Wilson anywhere. Chase was nowhere to be seen either. For a moment her smile faltered at the contrast between this year and the years before, the people who she'd once spent time with now absent and just a memory.

She scrambled to think of something happy to replace the pang in her chest and instantly settled on the memory of two years ago and how her daughter had entered her life that holiday season.

"Merry Christmas," she heard a male voice say from behind her and for a moment her mind seized up, remembering that moment when she'd been standing beside Rachel where she lay under the heating lamp and House had come in to ask her intentions. She'd explained that she'd already contacted her lawyer and intended to adopt and before he left House had wished her a Merry Christmas, perhaps the only time Cuddy could remember having ever heard him mutter those words to her.

Her breath caught in her throat and she slowly turned, fully expecting it to be him standing there. But when she about faced it was just the pharmacist. He studied her for a second and then cleared his throat before asking, "Are you going to join the party?"

Cuddy realized she was blocking the door and colored before moving aside to allow him out into the lobby. She headed back to her office then, grabbing her coat to go home for the day, not really in the mood for a party. She needed to go home to her daughter anyway.

* * *

Christmas Eve, 2010

House opened his front door after hearing someone out there while he was walking through the foyer. He rolled his eyes at Wilson who was mounting a wreath on his door. "What are you doing?" he demanded.

"Hanging a wreath," Wilson dryly replied, the answer being obvious.

"But _why_ are you hanging a wreath at _my_ house?! Hang a wreath on your own stupid door!" House griped.

"I'm Jewish. We don't hang wreaths. And besides, can't you just appreciate that I'm trying to put the finishing touches on your house for Evie's first Christmas and the Christmas party tonight?" Wilson complained right back as he adjusted the wreath, trying to make sure it was straight.

"If I wanted you to deck my halls with balls of holly, I'd have let you know," House mumbled, turning around to go back into the house.

"Well at least I convinced him to get a tree, even if I had to decorate it myself," Wilson muttered to himself under his breath.

Satisfied with the wreath, he went back to his car to carry in presents and stamped the remaining snow from his shoes before heading inside the house and closing the door with his back. "Where's my favorite three month old?" he called out as he piled the presents under the Christmas tree, unsure as to where House had disappeared to.

"It's a good thing the kid sleeps like a rock now," House's voice echoed from the kitchen. "Otherwise you'd wake her up with your caterwauling."

Wilson removed his shoes and coat and hung it up before heading into the kitchen and taking a beer from House when it was extended his way. "Good to know your solo jam sessions in the middle of the night serve some purpose," Wilson quipped.

House harrumphed but didn't say anything. "It's a good thing you're here," he acknowledged a moment later as he opened the oven to check on the roast duck. "When my kid wakes up, she's all yours. I don't know why I agreed in the first place to cook Christmas dinner for everybody."

"Because if any of the rest of us were to cook, you'd moan and groan about how terrible everything tastes," Wilson muttered, taking another draft from his beer before adding, "I left the pop, sparkling juice, and wine bottles out in the snow to keep cold. I figure we're going to need any room we can get in that fridge of yours."

House nodded. "Erika's bringing the ham and Cameron said she'd make some cold fruit salads," he informed Wilson before removing the sweet potatoes from the stovetop and carefully draining the water from the pot into the sink.

"How come you let your neighbor make ham and Cameron salads but all you entrust me with is bringing the drinks?" Wilson wanted to know.

House chuckled and said, "Ah, because I need you to deal with the kid for me."

Wilson frowned but opted to accept that answer.

As he turned away though House muttered, "Plus, your cooking sucks!"

Wilson turned back to him and gave him a dark look. "You love my macadamia nut pancakes!" he declared pointedly.

"Yeah, but who serves pancakes for Christmas dinner?" House inquired, an eyebrow raised.

Wilson narrowed his eyes and grumbled, "Next year I'm spending the holidays with my brother."

House laughed. "Yeah, 'cause Christmas is so important to you Jews."

Wilson ignored him to go check and see if the tree needed watering. Knowing House the thing would be dead by now.

* * *

Two hours later Wilson was with Evie in the living room, the baby cooing and gurgling at him, when the doorbell rang and House passed by to get the door. He opened it and shook his head in mock annoyance when Cameron and Chase declared, "Merry Christmas!"

"Oh, don't be such a Scrooge," Cameron told him.

House ignored her comment and motioned them to enter. Chase kicked off his shoes before heading into the kitchen to set a couple salads down on the counter before returning for the salad Cameron was still holding. When he'd brought that one into the kitchen, Chase put his shoes back on and headed back out to the car to bring in the presents they'd brought.

House took Cameron's jacket and hung it up for her but cancelled out his niceness by snarking, "You're getting fat! Lay off the extra helpings!"

Cameron rolled her eyes. "You've said that to me every day this past week. Shut up already!"

But then the baby kicked and she grabbed his hand in excitement and pressed it against her belly so he could feel it.

House looked at her in surprise but didn't pull his hand away immediately.

"Can you feel him?" she asked, her eyes lighting up.

House nodded mutely, staring at his hand on her belly. He'd missed out on this with Cuddy, not that this was anything like touching Cuddy's belly the one time he'd dared to and felt the baby move within.

Chase entered the house, his arms loaded down with packages. "Quit trying to feel my wife up, House!" he huffed playfully.

House pulled his hand away but said, "Maybe if you paid her more attention, she wouldn't come begging for me to grope her! The groping I can handle, but the way she's letting herself go… It disgusts me!"

Cameron rolled her eyes and turned to Chase as House headed back to the kitchen to check on the food and put Cameron's salads in the fridge. "Do you need any help with those?" she asked Chase.

He shook his head. "Nope. Just make sure I don't trip over anything."

She nodded and led the way into the living room but she forgot her assignment when she caught sight of Evie in Wilson's lap.

Cameron squealed and scooped the baby out of his arms, spinning around in a circle with the baby while admiring her little red Christmas dress with matching red stockings and a red Santa hat on her head. "Look at Santa Baby," she declared amidst Evie's squeals and giggles, coming to a stop after one revolution.

Chase smiled and shook his head but managed to make it to the tree without dropping any of the presents or tripping. After unloading them he headed back to Cameron to rub the baby's cheek with the back of his fingers before greeting Wilson.

"How was the PPTH Christmas party?" Chase asked.

Wilson looked at him in surprise. "You didn't go? I skipped out to go see my brother."

He shook his head. "No. I decided to go with Cameron to the Christmas party at RE."

"Did you go?" Wilson asked House, who had just entered the room.

"To RE's Christmas party?" House clarified.

Wilson nodded.

"Yeah," House replied. "But Evie and I didn't stay long because she was tired and in need of a bottle."

Wilson turned to Cameron and asked, "How's the adjustment to RE going anyway?"

"Good," she replied, smiling. "The first week was pretty boring due to all the hospital red tape, but otherwise it's been great. I'm really enjoying it."

"You mean you're really enjoying ME," House quipped smugly.

"I don't know how you can stand to be in the same room with him, let alone work for him again," Wilson replied drolly. "The office space must be impressive. Otherwise I don't know how you'd share space, considering the size of his ego alone."

House rolled his eyes but didn't comment as the doorbell rang and he turned to go get it, knowing it would be Erika and Trevor. He opened the door and couldn't help smiling at the two of them.

"Merry Christmas, House," Erika said softly, smiling right back.

"We brought presents!" Trevor declared excitedly.

House laughed at his enthusiasm and gestured for them to come in. He took the covered dish of ham from Erika's arms and headed with it into the kitchen while she removed her gloves, tucked them into the pockets of her coat, and then knelt down to untie Trevor's shoes since his hands were full with the presents he'd begged to be the one to carry.

House returned and ruffled Trevor's hair. "Presents go under the tree," he informed him.

Trevor nodded and headed into the living room. House heard the boy greet Wilson enthusiastically and Wilson introducing him to Cameron and Chase, but his attention was largely focused on Erika before him.

"I see you didn't burn the house down," she teased, untying her scarf.

House reached out and tugged on one end once it was unknotted, slowly pulling it from around her neck. "Just because I order takeout every time you come over doesn't mean I don't know my way around a kitchen," he wryly muttered.

She smiled broadly as she unbuttoned her coat. "I'll be the judge of that," she quipped.

The corner of House's mouth quirked upwards in a half-smile but he said, "Yes, you will." Then he opened the closet door and removed a hanger, taking her coat from her a second later and placing it on the hanger before draping her scarf over it.

"Hat," he demanded, nodding at her head.

She pulled it off and passed it to him so that he could tuck it inside a pocket before hanging the coat up in the closet. When he shut the door he turned back to her and couldn't help but reach out to smooth her brown locks that had been disturbed from their perfection by the hat.

Erika laughed at the tenderness of his action, making him look away in awkwardness. "You look great," she contentedly murmured then, her eyes sweeping over him.

"I'm wearing jeans and a t-shirt," he replied wryly as he looked her over and noted the red dress she was wearing, accompanied by a pair of stilettos.

"That's how I like you," she said, shrugging as she gave him a happy smile.

House pursed his lips but mumbled, "I better introduce you to people before you jump me right here in the hall."

Erika laughed but reached for his hand and House looked down at her hand in his before leading her into the living room.

And then House really didn't know what happened because one second he was saying, "This is my neighbor Erika" to the group at large and the next Wilson was on his feet in shock and asking, "Erika? Erika Campbell?"

"James Wilson?" she said breathily, her hand slipping out of House's to go to her mouth. "Are you kidding me?"

House looked from her to Wilson, searching to understand how they might know each other.

Wilson came around the coffee table to give her a hug while the rest of the room stared at them in confusion. He released her and declared, "Erika Campbell! I can't believe this!"

"Erika Lange," she corrected before saying, "I haven't seen you in ages, James!"

House wasn't sure what he felt in that moment. He wasn't even sure what was happening. "You two know each other?" he asked finally, his face expressionless.

Erika turned to look at him and smiled before glancing back at Wilson. "We went to high school together! I can't believe all this time you've been talking about James Wilson when you have mentioned your friend Wilson to me!" she declared, stepping towards him to playfully punch him in the arm.

"How was I to know you knew each other?" House asked, looking back and forth between the two of them.

Chase got to his feet and extended his arm in Erika's direction. "I'm Robert and this is my wife Allison," he said in introduction, his other hand falling to Cameron's shoulder who was seated beside him with Evie in her lap.

Erika took his hand and shook it before dryly inquiring, "And does House call you Robert and Allison?"

Cameron smiled and shook her head. "He's Chase and I'm Cameron," she admitted, offering her hand to shake as well.

"I'm going to go check on the food," House mumbled then, turning to leave the room.

No one heard him nor saw him leave.

* * *

Cameron carried Evie into the kitchen a few minutes later. "I think we're hungry," she said to House.

He nodded but didn't look her way as he reached into the cabinet and removed a can of formula to prepare a bottle.

She studied House and then frowned before moving towards him. "You alright?" she asked, her forehead wrinkled in concern.

He nodded. "Yep. Dinner will be on the table in ten minutes."

She placed her hand on his arm and House glanced up at her before turning to take Evie from her.

Cameron released his daughter to him and took over on preparing the bottle. "Are you in love with her?" she asked hesitantly.

House was focused on Evie who was smiling at her daddy and gurgling happily, but he answered Cameron's question. "No," he replied somberly.

"Are you sure?" she asked, her eyes probing his when he looked her way a moment later.

"I don't know how I feel about Erika," he acknowledged, surprising himself with his honesty. "We spend a lot of time together but I don't have any claim on her."

"Maybe you should claim her," she suggested, shrugging a shoulder as she checked the bottle's temperature. "Wilson's your best friend. He's not going to steal your girl."

House chuckled and then rubbed a hand over his face before taking the bottle from her. "I don't think I'm up to a relationship even if I wanted to claim her," he admitted with a sigh.

Cameron nodded understandingly. "Maybe in time though…" she began.

"Why should she have to wait for me?" he asked quietly. "If she and Wilson were to take this somewhere…"

Cameron interrupted and argued, "Don't you think it's a little soon to think this is the start of something between them? They're out there catching up on old times but that doesn't mean it's going to go anywhere at all."

He nodded mutely and then passed Evie back to her, waiting for her to take the bottle before muttering, "I've got to get dinner on the table."

She watched him go back to the stove and start removing hot food from within, uncovering it to place it on the hot pads on the table. Deciding to give him a few minutes alone, she headed back into the living room and stood in the doorway, her eyes going from Chase who was talking with Trevor to Wilson and Erika who were both smiling and chatting where they stood by the tree. She looked down at the baby in her arms then, sighing sadly, not sure what to think or what to do to help House in this.

* * *

Erika glanced around the room and noticed House was nowhere to be found. "Where'd House go?" she asked the room in general.

Cameron looked up and smiled before saying, "He's in the kitchen trying to get dinner on the table."

"Oh, I'll go help him," Erika declared, patting Evie's head as she passed Cameron by.

"I'll help too," Wilson said, following her.

But Cameron stepped in front of him before he could exit the living room. "Can you take Evie and change her?" she asked. "The baby's pressing down on my bladder and I really need to go to the bathroom."

He nodded and took Evie from her, continuing to feed her as he walked down the hall and went into the baby's room.

Cameron sighed in relief and headed to the bathroom, deciding she really could use a bathroom break.

* * *

"What can I do to help?" Erika asked as she joined House in the kitchen.

He looked her way and then back at what he was doing. "Want to grab serving spoons out of the drawer?" he suggested.

Erika nodded and pulled open the drawer he gestured to, looking to the table to count out how many she needed. Then she pulled them out and shut the drawer before moving back to the dining room table to place them in the appropriate dishes.

Once House was done slicing the meat, he slid the platter over on the counter for her to put on the table.

"You're awful quiet," she said then, noticing that he hadn't really said much since they'd been in the foyer together.

He shrugged it off. "I'm just trying to remember all the things I need to do."

Erika nodded. "What else can I help you with?" she asked then.

House contemplated her question and came to a decision without looking at her. "Why don't you go tell Wilson to retrieve the drinks from whichever snow bank he buried them in?"

"You're the boss," she cheekily declared, saluting him.

House smiled and watched her walk back out of the kitchen before he headed to the fridge to remove the cold salads and set them out on the table as well.

* * *

Erika found Wilson in Evie's room and reached for the baby to finish the job of burping her before saying, "House is ready for you to bring in the drinks."

Wilson smiled at her and then called Chase to help him as he went to the front door, pulling his shoes back on to make a few trips in and out, passing drinks to Chase each time he came back to the door with another armload. Trevor had followed Chase into the foyer and willingly helped to carry pop into the kitchen, turning it over to House. Cameron came to stand alongside Erika, smoothing Evie's Santa hat.

"So House talks about you and Trevor a lot," she said to the other woman.

Erika smiled. "We've really become good friends," she admitted. "He means a lot to us."

Cameron nodded. "I can tell you both mean a lot to him too."

Erika did not doubt that.

"So you and Wilson went to high school together?" Cameron inquired.

She nodded and laughed. "Yeah. THAT was a long time ago, huh?"

Cameron smiled. "Did you date?" she couldn't help probing.

Erika shook her head, her eyebrows raised in surprise. "No. We just knew each other. We weren't close but I would say we were friends."

"Dinner's ready," House called from the other room. They turned and made their way into the dining room, the guys still carrying in the last of the pop. House had removed a leaf in the table so that the six of them could sit there without any extra places.

Cameron watched Trevor sit down in the seat next to where House would be sitting and quickly decided to sit with one seat in between her and House, motioning for Erika to have a seat there while Chase sat at the end of the table to her left but facing House. Wilson took the only remaining seat, in between Chase and Trevor and across from Cameron. She smiled, pleased with her meddling, before looking up as House took his daughter from Erika and sat her upright in his lap, the meal getting underway a moment later.

House listened as Trevor talked his ear off about all he was hoping to get from Santa in the morning and about how he was going with his mom the next day to spend Christmas with his grandparents. He laughed as Erika rolled her eyes.

"Trevor, Santa's not going to leave you anything but coal tonight if you don't stop talking and eat something like a good boy," she teased.

Trevor smiled and dutifully focused a little more on his plate.

"How long have you lived in Kendall Park?" Wilson asked Erika. "Kind of far from home, aren't you?"

She shrugged. "Ben and I moved here about ten years ago," Erika replied. "He was a lawyer who'd just opened his own practice not far from here and I was willing to follow him wherever he wanted to go. His family lives in Trenton so it was convenient for once we started a family of our own."

"And you're an orthodontist now?" Wilson inquired, taking a bite of his mashed potatoes.

She nodded, unable to verbalize an answer as her own mouth was full of sweet potatoes. When she swallowed, she set her fork aside and reached for House's forearm, giving it a squeeze. "You're right," she said then, smiling broadly. "You DO know your way around a kitchen. These are the best sweet potatoes I've ever had."

Cameron noticed that Erika was not quick to remove her hand.

House opened his mouth to make a retort but Wilson spoke up before he could. "House took cooking classes a little over a year ago."

Erika nodded and removed her hand from House's arm to pick her fork back up and try the duck.

House waited for her reaction and when her eyes rolled back in her head in pleasure, he chuckled. "Don't let us get in the way of you having an orgasm in the middle of my dining room," he muttered under his breath so only Erika could hear.

Erika choked and Wilson shoved his chair back in case she needed the Heimlich but she managed to get control of herself and then slugged House in the arm, being careful of Evie. "My kid's right here at the table with us," she scolded.

Everyone looked from her to House as she colored prettily but House just threw an innocent look her way, taking a bite of the apple & Snicker salad Cameron had brought as Wilson sank back down in his chair. "This is really good," he told Cameron, his mouth still full.

She rolled her eyes but smiled at him, laughing in amusement.

"You didn't want to move back to be close to your parents after Ben died?" Wilson asked, directing his question Erika's way.

She shook her head. "I had lots of good memories in that house," she replied. "There was a time when I did think about moving, but it was the only house Trevor had ever lived in and I didn't want to take that away from him any more than I wanted to walk away myself."

Cameron glanced House's way and noticed he was lost in thought. He looked up at Erika and was about to say something when Wilson spoke up again.

"Do you think you'll stay in Kendall Park until Trevor's grown?" Wilson asked.

Cameron stared at him, frustrated.

"I'm not moving anywhere," Erika replied, looking at House and smiling his way.

Wilson opened his mouth to ask another question but Cameron had had enough. She kicked him under the table.

"Cameron!" Wilson yelled, his eyes locking in on hers.

"Sorry, my foot slipped," she apologized, casting him a somewhat embarrassed look.

House stared at her a moment and then smiled.

Wilson rubbed his leg but took a bite of his ham. "This is really good," he said once he'd swallowed. "Looks like House isn't the only one who can cook," he complimented Erika.

House scoffed and quipped, "Now you're just sucking up, Wilson. I had a piece of ham a minute ago and it was as tough as leather."

Erika's fork paused in mid-air and then she slowly set it down before turning to House. "Excuse me?" she asked sharply.

House directed his attention to her and innocuously said, "I was telling Wilson it looks like we're in for some rough weather."

Chase started laughing and Cameron couldn't help but join in. Even Wilson shook his head in amusement.

Erika bit back a smile and reached for the baby, taking her from House's lap. "Grow up," she darkly muttered.

"Geesh, Erika! She's a baby! How fast do you want my kid to grow?!" House replied, as if to defend his kid.

She sighed dramatically but made no comment as she placed Evie up on her shoulder.

House reached down to the floor and grabbed a bottle of wine from his feet, filling Erika's glass before passing it on to Cameron, who offered it to Chase. Then he picked up a bottle of sparkling grape juice and filled his glass before giving that to Cameron as well. She took some and then sipped it before asking Chase to pass her the green beans.

House looked her way and said, "Good idea. Stick with the veggies. If you get any heavier, I'll have to order bigger chairs for the office."

Cameron ignored him but Erika's eyes flashed to him before she turned to everyone else. "Does he ever behave?" she asked in disbelief.

"No," Chase replied, his head shaking from side to side. "But we've gotten used to that so if you hang around him much longer, you will too."

"We think his mother dropped him as a baby," Wilson added. "That's the only thing we can figure to attribute his idiocy to."

Cameron's chin dropped and she didn't resist the urge to kick Wilson under the table once more.

He shoved his chair back and glared at her. "What did I say?!" he demanded.

House realized what had happened and started laughing uproariously.

"Sorry! My foot just keeps slipping!" Cameron declared benignly.

Chase shot Cameron a look and then chuckled at her protectiveness towards House, not at all threatened by it.

Erika looked from one person to the next and finally settled her gaze on her son, who stared at House, who was still laughing, before looking to his mom in confusion.

"Next Christmas we'll stay home," she dryly told him, causing House to laugh all the harder.

* * *

Everyone was sitting in the living room after dinner and House rolled his eyes as Cameron stuck a mixed CD of Christmas songs into his DVD player before adjusting the settings so that music would be piped out through the room's stereo system, the volume on low.

She saw his expression and smiled before reaching under the tree to sort through presents. "Here," she called to him, carefully passing a gift his way. "That ought to appease you and keep you from crying enviously over the stack of presents with Evie's name on them."

His eyebrows rose at the realization that she'd gone to the trouble of actually getting him a gift, despite knowing that House himself never bought gifts, not even for Wilson, his best friend. He took it, weighing it in his hands before making her scowl at him when he shook it. Then he began to peel aside the paper and smiled when he opened the large box to find a photobook within. "I made it on Shutterfly," she told him as he paged through it.

House stared at the pictures from Evie's birth through her first couple months. "Thank you," he managed a moment later as he slowly flipped through it, avoiding everyone's eyes.

Wilson had brought out the camcorder to film a little. He panned the room and then looked at his best buddy, smiling at the emotion he was trying to restrain.

"Can I see it?" Erika asked from where she sat next to House, leaning towards him once he'd finished with Evie in her lap.

House nodded and handed it over to her, taking Evie from her and settling her in his own lap. Cameron passed another present his way and House unwrapped it, shaking his head at the little dress within. "I know the color accents my eyes but I just don't think it'll fit," he quipped sarcastically.

"That's good because the day I see you in a dress is the day I check you back into Mayfield," Wilson declared, chuckling.

Erika didn't have the slightest clue what Wilson was talking about but she was too distracted looking at pictures to ask any questions.

House opened several more packages on Evie's behalf until she had a nice heap of gifts beside them. Cameron and Chase had bought her a safari stacker, crawl ball, the look-around balls with objects and animals inside, along with several more outfits. Wilson had given her a baby piano, drum, and pathetically enough, a tea set that House cringed over and which apparently was designed to teach kids to say please. "You know I'm not going to play tea party with her," House informed Wilson dryly, rolling his eyes. "Not in a million years."

Wilson laughed, remembering how he had once said something about House and tea parties when Cuddy was still pregnant. "Wait until you see the tiara I bought you for Christmas," he quipped.

House shot him a mutinous look.

Erika got to her feet and picked up the large package Trevor had brought in with him, passing it to House to open on Evie's behalf. He opened it to find it contained a 5-in-1 Gym. "I figured now that she's rolling you better have something to occupy her so that she doesn't go too far when she masters rolling from back to tummy in a couple months. When Trevor was a baby, I'd leave the room for a moment and when I came back, he'd be halfway under the furniture, playing with dust bunnies."

"Really mom?" Trevor asked.

Erika nodded. "I couldn't get you to stay still for the life of me," she admitted.

"Thanks guys," House mumbled after a moment, his eyes on his daughter who was now contentedly drinking her bottle in his lap. Glancing up, his eyes went to Trevor and he remembered that he'd broken his own rule and had some gifts to pass out that he'd almost forgotten about. He handed Evie to Erika and then slowly got to his feet, limping off down the hallway. A minute later he returned with a small stack of identically shaped rectangular presents and an envelope.

House handed one to Cameron, one to Erika, and then another to Wilson, who shot him a surprised look.

"These are from Evie. Not me," he quickly mumbled.

Cameron laughed as everyone opened their gifts. While they were distracted, House caught Trevor's eye and held the envelope out for him to take, teasing him with it as every time the kid reached for it, House would pull it out of his reach. Finally he chuckled and tossed it to him.

House ignored everyone's reactions to the photo of Evie he'd made duplicates of and framed, waiting while Trevor carefully opened the envelope, trying to contain his excitement at receiving a present. House kind of felt bad for the kid. Evie'd received a lot of gifts but he hadn't thought to get Trevor anything beyond this.

But the envelope went over well. A second later Trevor was shouting enthusiastically. House wasn't sure the kid's reading skills were high enough to warrant the reaction but then he remembered the ticket had a picture of a monster truck on it and that had probably clued him in.

"It's not until February but Wilson and I are going so I thought you might want to come with," House mumbled, somewhat embarrassed now at the way everyone in the room was looking from him to Trevor in curiosity.

"I want to, I want to, I want to," Trevor clamored excitedly.

"I kind of got that," House sarcastically replied, his eyes falling to Erika in amusement. His eyebrows rose when he realized she wasn't watching Trevor but looking at House affectionately.

"Quit looking at me like you are in the process of undressing me with your eyes," he quipped quietly.

Erika rolled her eyes, rubbing her face with a hand. "Don't worry. I think you just spoiled the moment with that tongue of yours."

House laughed and taunted, "You should see what else I can do with my tongue."

"House," Erika admonished dryly.

"Yes?" he inquired with an eyebrow raised when she didn't continue.

"Be quiet."

* * *

Everyone was sitting in the living room eating the dessert House had brought out five minutes earlier, talking about favorite holiday memories and family traditions. Wilson noticed House wasn't paying any attention and then realized he was listening to the music in the background, Cameron's CD still playing softly. He couldn't help but strain his ears to make out what song it was that had caught House's attention and was making him look so wistfully at the sleeping baby in his arms.

"_Once bitten and twice shy  
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye  
Tell me baby, do you recognize me?  
Well, it's been a year; it doesn't surprise me_

_'Merry Christmas!' I wrapped it up and sent it  
With a note saying "I Love You," I meant it  
Now I know what a fool I've been  
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again_

_Last Christmas, I gave you my heart_

_But the very next day, you gave it away…"_

House suddenly got to his feet with Evie and limped over to the stereo, hitting the button to skip to the next song, causing "Santa Baby" to fill the room. When he turned back Wilson's eyes met his and House read the sadness in them and quickly turned away to ask if anyone needed a refill.

Wilson watched him go, wondering how long it would take for House to not think about Cuddy like he'd clearly just been caught up in doing. He supposed even thinking that was possible was wishful thinking, considering the two had a daughter who would always remind him of her. Still, he hoped one day House would move on and find happiness with someone else. He deserved it.

* * *

"Trevor, it's time to get home and go to bed so that Santa can come," Erika told her son, getting to her feet.

Wilson stood up as well. "I'll walk you guys," he offered.

Erika smiled at him but then said, "Thanks, but House was going to walk us home."

House looked at her in surprise but didn't negate what she'd said. He pushed himself away from the wall and wordlessly stepped into the foyer to remove their coats from the closet while she and Trevor said their goodbyes to everyone else. Then House handed Trevor his coat before holding hers up for her to slip her arms in the sleeves. She smiled gratefully at him but he just shrugged while she put on her hat, tied her scarf around her neck, and slipped her gloves on. House opened the door, closing it behind the three of them a moment later.

Erika's hand wrapped around the inside of House's arm, her gloved fingers holding his forearm loosely. Trevor walked in front of them and House kept one hand out in front of him to grab onto Trevor if he lost his balance, not that he'd really have been able to keep the kid from going down if he were to slip. Trevor did not notice, too busy talking nonstop about the Christmas presents he was expecting to receive from Santa the next morning. He only stopped talking when Erika opened the door to their home and motioned him in, sending him on his way upstairs to brush his teeth. Then she closed the door and turned towards House, the two of them standing outside on the porch facing one another, the steam from their breaths hitting the air, mingling in the space between them.

She made no move to say anything and House looked away before asking, "Why didn't you let Wilson walk you home?"

"Did you want me to let James walk me home?" she asked then, staring up at him with a penetrating gaze as she tried to read his mind.

He shrugged noncommittally.

Erika watched him for a moment and finally inquired, "House, how do you feel about me?"

He glanced at her face and then looked down at their feet, the question running through his mind. He knew he could attempt to evade the question, but at most it would only buy him a few seconds. Erika was not the type to let him off the hook. She didn't fear his answers or his honesty. Nor would she allow him to deflect. He pursed his lips but finally mumbled, "I like you. I like your kid. I like that you like mine. I enjoy our time together."

Erika didn't say anything for a second and he returned his eyes to hers in time for her to ask, "And where do you see our relationship going?"

House looked out across the front lawn instead of answering immediately. Ultimately he quietly said, "Erika, as much as I like you… I don't think there's a future for us beyond what we have now."

"Why?" she queried, her voice reflecting nothing other than curiosity at his words.

He met her eyes and admitted, "I'm jaded. Broken. And I don't really believe I'll ever be capable of investing myself in a relationship with a woman that goes beyond what you and I already have. A romantic relationship… that just sounds impossible to me. I'm good with how things are. I don't want to lose you. But at the same time, I can't offer you anything more."

"Because of Evie's mother and whatever happened between you two?" she probed softly.

He didn't say yes but he didn't deny it either.

Erika removed her gloves and tucked them in her pocket before placing her hands on his chest and slowly running them upwards until she was cupping his jaw with her right and his neck with her left. When she brought his head down, he didn't stop her. She stared into his cerulean orbs, her breath warm against his lips. He stared right back. Then she slowly rose up on tiptoe to bring her lips the final distance that separated them.

Her lips were soft and pliant and House hesitantly returned the kiss, choosing to indulge in it but not deepening it, their eyes locked and searching one another the whole time. After a moment she lowered herself back down to the ground, breaking the connection between their lips but not releasing him from where her hands were.

"Would it bother you if James and I dated?" she asked out of nowhere.

House looked at her in confusion due to the kiss she'd just given him but slowly shook his head from side to side. "Do you want to date him?" he inquired when he was capable of speech once more.

She smiled slightly but then released him to slip her hands back into her pockets before she replied, "I'm not sure I'm ready to move on to someone new. Ben's the only man I've ever wholeheartedly loved. What I feel for you is probably the next closest thing, though it's different too."

"Different how?" he asked, intrigued.

She laughed softly and shrugged. "I don't know. Ben was my best friend. But he was also my lover and the father of my child. Those are bonds I don't have with you. Right now you are just my friend. My best friend," she added as if that was of utmost importance to acknowledge out loud.

House raised an eyebrow and asked, "You kiss all your friends?"

Erika laughed and shook her head. "No. Just my best friends, I guess."

"Girls too?" he asked with interest.

"My male best friends," she clarified further, rolling her eyes.

"Do you want to have sex with me?" he inquired next, smiling broadly as he suggestively waggled his eyebrows.

She rolled her eyes once more and punched him lightly in the stomach, causing him to rub the spot as if she'd hurt him. "The thought doesn't repulse me, but no," she dryly replied, not expanding on her answer beyond that.

"Then why kiss me?" House pressed, unable to let the kiss go.

She sighed in exasperation and looked up at the planks of the overhang covering the porch. "Because I think we both needed that kiss. We both needed to… know."

"And what do we know?" he asked, laughing quietly at her look of frustration as she narrowed her eyes at him.

"I don't know what we know," she answered honestly. "Maybe that whatever we feel for each other, we're both good with how things are."

House nodded and glanced away before saying, "You should date Wilson."

"Why?" she asked, wondering how they were back to this.

He shrugged. "You're in love with your dead husband. He's still in love with his dead girlfriend."

"Well, when you say it like that…" she sarcastically quipped, bobbing her head like that was obviously the most logical argument she'd ever heard for dating someone.

House laughed but casually said, "Yeah, it's dysfunctional. But there's a lot to say for dysfunctional. And it's probably just dysfunctional enough to work for you both. Besides, you've got a history. Regardless of what people tell you, history matters."

"I should probably get to work on the guest list for our wedding," she caustically announced, her lips pressing together as her shoulders came up slightly.

"I could probably get you Wilson's guest list. I think he still has it saved from his last wedding," House quipped enthusiastically.

She stared at him in concern and then asked, "James has been married?"

"Three times," House happily declared, never getting tired of sharing that with people.

"What's one more?" she volleyed back, laughing as she began to rock up and down on her feet as if to warm herself.

House smiled but turned serious. "He's interested," he told her confidently.

"House, this is the craziest conversation we've ever had!" Erika replied, shaking her head in bewilderment.

"You're interested too," he continued, giving her a perceptive look.

"House!" she scolded. "Why does this matter so much to you?!"

"I don't know," he admitted finally, thinking about it.

"Well then, I'll make sure to let you know when James proposes," she informed him stoically.

He shook his head. "No. He'd tell me before he asked to give me an opportunity to try and talk him out of it, not that he ever listens anyway. But since I'd already know, you wouldn't have to tell me."

She rolled her eyes and pursed her lips but before she could say anything he asked, "But going back to us, what if I did want more?"

Erika stared at him for a minute and then pointedly reminded him, "You don't."

"But if I did," he pushed, tilting his head down towards her with an expression on his face that said he wanted to know her answer and he wasn't going to give up until she gave it to him.

"A minute ago you had James and I married and now we're back to you and I and where our relationship could go from here?" she asked in disbelief. "Is it just me or are we going in circles in this conversation?"

"We are," he agreed, "But that's what makes it fun."

"For you, maybe," she replied dolefully.

"Why did you say that I was walking you home?" House asked, changing questions.

She exhaled noisily but finally squinted and thought it over. "Because IF James IS interested, you'd still have first dibs."

"What?!" he asked, unable to see the logic in that.

She smiled and then took a step towards him, sticking her hands in the pockets of his coat to put her hands in his and force him to warm them up for her since he was keeping her outside so long. "I don't know how to explain. I guess I realized that I was spending a lot of time catching up with him tonight and it bothered me. I think I felt like I was betraying you somehow by not focusing more of my attention on you. I didn't come over tonight to be with James. I went to be with you."

He clasped her hands in his and used his thumbs to rub them and generate enough heat to circulate the blood into her fingers. "That's why you asked if it would bother me if you and Wilson dated?" he inquired.

"Partly, yes," she admitted, nodding.

"And if it did, even though I don't see a future for us beyond what we have now, you would choose to not pursue a possible future with Wilson if I had some objection to it?" he continued, puzzled.

Erika smiled. "House," she began then. "Let's say James had walked me home tonight. Let's even assume he asked me out and I said yes. It's possible that I could date him, fall in love with him, even become the… fourth Mrs. Wilson. But none of that has happened yet. And I'm not about to exchange the possibility of that happening for your friendship. He's your best friend. And you're his. But you're also mine now. And if dating him meant I'd lose you, I'd walk away in an instant."

House considered her words and then smiled, genuinely pleased.

Erika laughed. "Uh," she groaned in disgust. "Your head is swelling before my eyes."

House's mouth quirked but he sobered and narrowed his eyes. "Are you sure you're not just saying this because you know becoming Mrs. Wilson the 4th also carried the potential of becoming the Ex-Mrs. Wilson the 4th?"

"You've got me figure out," she replied sadly. "That IS the real reason behind it."

"All of his ex-wives still love him though. Not romantically, but they still do," he reassured her before smiling.

"That's… good to know," she replied. But Erika couldn't help but smile back.

"Can I go inside now?" she asked then. "My toes are kind of numb."

He released her hands and nodded but instead of heading for the door, she withdrew her hands only to then wrap her arms around him in a fierce bear hug. "Merry Christmas," she declared contentedly into his neck.

"Yeah, yeah," House replied, as if annoyed with her exuberant act of affection. "Go inside before you make me freeze to death out here."

She laughed but released him and reached for the doorknob, looking back at him before pushing it open.

"Merry Christmas Erika," he mumbled, giving her a light push towards the warmth radiating from inside her door.

Erika smiled but went inside and House heard Trevor ask what had taken her so long from the top of the stairs before the door shut behind her and he turned to head home.

When he stepped inside his house, Chase was helping Cameron into her coat.

"We were wondering what happened to you," Cameron teased before zipping her coat up and heading his way to hug him goodbye and press a kiss on his cheek.

When she released him, her fingers came up and brushed against his lips, her eyes dancing with amusement while she explained in a whisper, "You had a smudge of lipstick there."

House looked away, chagrined, but made no comment.

"Thanks for having us over," Chase said then, stepping forward to shake his hand.

House nodded and reached for the doorknob, opening the door for them and stepping outside to see them off. When they were gone he headed back indoors to find Wilson in the living room, feeding Evie a bottle. House sank down on the couch beside him and laughed when Evie released her mouth's hold on the bottle to squeal happily at the sight of him. He reached for her, taking her from Wilson's arms and adjusting the Santa hat on her head so that it wasn't slipping off.

"Your mom's coming tomorrow?" Wilson asked, handing House Evie's bottle before reaching for his beer to take a draft.

"Yeah. She'll be here sometime around 11 a.m. or so," House replied, suddenly feeling exhausted. "She's even bringing a man with her she'd like me to meet. That's why she didn't come today. She went with him to his family's celebration."

"Your mom is seeing someone?" Wilson asked in surprise.

House nodded. "Sure looks that way."

"Wow," Wilson declared. "I can't even imagine what that looks like."

"Don't imagine, Wilson," House muttered. "It's a painful picture. Just the idea of my mom getting her groove on…"

"House!" Wilson rebuked in disgust. "You're talking about your mom!"

House laughed, thoroughly enjoying the look on Wilson's face. "I could talk about your mom," House suggested, causing Wilson to groan despairingly.

Neither one said anything for a moment. Then House broke the silence to say, "You're interested in my neighbor."

Wilson didn't answer at first but after a minute he said, "Maybe I am."

House nodded before asking, "What are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing," he replied automatically.

"What?" House demanded in confusion. "You're going to do nothing? Seriously?"

"She's your neighbor. And… there's something between you two. I'm not going to pursue something with someone who might actually be just what you need. You're my best friend," Wilson declared as if this was all obvious.

"But we're just friends," House informed him soberly. "We'll never be anything other than friends."

"How do you know?" Wilson asked pointedly.

"Because I know," he replied, shrugging.

"Because you're not over Cuddy yet, are you?" Wilson queried, sighing when House opted not to reply. "With time…," he began.

House interrupted to blurt out, "I told Erika you've been married three times."

Wilson fell silent and then chuckled before rubbing a hand over his face. "Well I'm pretty sure that took care of any potential for a future relationship, even were I to pursue one."

House shook his head. "No, I wouldn't say that. But I did you a favor in that now when you do pursue her, it won't come as a surprise."

Wilson looked at him as if he was insane but House just looked away before quietly mumbling, "She kissed me."

Wilson blinked several times and then asked, "On the mouth?"

House turned his head to stare at his buddy and Wilson held up a hand defensively. "Well, you've said she's kissed you on the cheek before."

"On the mouth," House stated in clarification.

"Before or after you told her I'd been married three times?" Wilson asked in curiosity.

House chuckled and scratched his chin, finally muttering, "I'm not sure anymore. I think before."

Wilson pursed his lips and nodded. "Did you kiss back?" he inquired quietly.

"I didn't stop the kiss but I didn't take it any farther, either," House replied.

"Why not?" Wilson asked.

"Because I'm good with how things are. You start dating and things just get messy," he mumbled.

"If she kissed you, why would you even think she'd be interested in me?" Wilson queried, puzzled with House's logic.

"She just kissed me to test the waters," House said, shrugging. "She's good with how things are too."

The room was quiet except for the sound of Evie's mouth working the bottle.

"Why did you offer to walk her home?" House asked after a moment.

"Honestly, it never occurred to me that it would occur to you. I just thought someone ought to walk them home. If I'd known you intended to, I wouldn't have," Wilson replied.

House nodded but didn't say anything, not wanting to out Erika any more than he wanted to force himself to contemplate whether he would have offered, had Wilson not done so.

Finally Wilson got to his feet and asked, "Can I get you a drink from the fridge?"

"Yeah. Grab me a non-alcoholic beer from the bottom drawer," House replied.

"You got it," Wilson agreed, getting to his feet.

When he came back a moment later, House took it from him and said, "You can ask her out if you want."

"Maybe someday," Wilson settled on noncommittally stating.

House nodded and left it at that.

* * *

Christmas Day, 2010

"Hi mom," House greeted Blythe as he opened the door to let her and her boyfriend in.

"Merry Christmas, dear," she replied, kissing his cheek before introducing the man with her. "This is David."

"Merry Christmas. It's nice to meet you," he said, extending his hand to shake House's.

House shook his hand and nodded, studying the grey-haired older man before him. He wasn't too sure about this mom dating thing. "Come on in. Evie's sleeping but she should be awake soon."

House took their coats and hung them up before motioning them into the living room.

Blythe immediately caught sight of the photobook on the coffee table and walked over to pick it up, sitting down on the couch and patting the cushion next to her for David to have a seat. "How is she?" Blythe asked. "I can't believe how big she's getting!"

House leaned against the wall and his mouth twitched up into a partial smile. "You just saw her on Skype the other day," he replied.

"Yes, but it's not the same!" Blythe protested.

"I'm going to go prepare her a bottle for when she wakes up. Does anyone want anything to drink?" House inquired, pushing himself off the wall.

"Coffee, if you have some," David replied.

"Yes, that would be lovely, dear," Blythe agreed.

House nodded and limped his way back into the kitchen. A moment later Blythe and David followed.

"Has Lisa been by?" she asked quietly.

House rolled his eyes, having known his mother would ask but that he hadn't really counted on her using David's presence as a buffer incase he were to get upset over the question. She was probably the only person he didn't yell at when someone else was around. "You ask me that every time we talk. The answer's still no," he calmly replied, sliding two mugs of steaming coffee down the countertop for them to take. Walking to the fridge, he pulled out the milk and set it on the island before locating the sugar in the cabinet. He knew his mother usually drank hers black but he had no idea about David.

"I just can't understand that," she said under her breath, shaking her head.

House figured he didn't have to reply.

"How can she just walk away from her own child? That's just not like her at all," she continued.

"Mom," House said in exasperation. "You've only met her a few times. How would you know whether it's like her or not?"

"But…" she began.

"Your mom talks a lot about you," David said then, stepping in although House was not sure on whose behalf it was.

House glanced at the man, watching him spoon sugar into his coffee and then jauntily said, "Don't believe everything you hear."

"Oh, she only has good things to say about you," he reassured.

"Again," House replied with a trace of sarcasm. "Don't believe everything you hear."

"Oh honey," Blythe lightly scolded, taking a sip from her coffee mug.

House heard Evie stirring and headed out of the room to get her. His mother followed him, sending David a smile over her shoulder. "Can I change her?" she asked hopefully.

House wasn't about to turn her down. "Knock yourself out," he replied, lifting Evie out of her crib and passing her right into her grandma's arms.

Blythe took her, baby talking happily as Evie cooed and waved her fists in the air. "Merry Christmas grandma's little darling! How are you? Grandma hasn't seen you in SO long! My, how big you're getting! How did you get so big? How did you get so big?"

"You're going to dumb down my kid, talking to her like that," House quipped.

Blythe shot him a look and then said, "Make yourself useful and pick out a dress for her to wear. It's Christmas after all."

House sighed heavily but did actually go to the closet and retrieve a dress, handing it off to his mother before heading back to the kitchen to get her bottle.

* * *

The doorbell rang and House went to answer it, not expecting anyone.

"Ho, ho, ho!" the individual in the Santa costume boomed.

"Wilson, you idiot!" House groaned.

"James is here?" Blythe called from the kitchen, heading that way with Evie.

"I'm not James Wilson. I'm Santa Claus. I'm here to see Evie House and find out if she's been naughty or nice this year," Wilson/Santa Claus told them in a deep voice.

Blythe laughed but brought Evie over to him. He took her into his arms and she'd barely been there a second before she started crying.

House laughed. "Now look what you've gone and done!" he ragged, taking Evie from his buddy.

"It's okay, kid," he reassured her, patting her back comfortingly. "I know he's the ugliest Santa Claus there ever was but that's no reason to cry about it."

Oh, Greg!" Blythe scolded before turning to Wilson. "James, you make a very nice Santa Claus. Maybe once Greg calms Georgia down, we can get a nice picture of the two of you together."

"I'm not getting my picture taken with Santa," House snarked.

Blythe gave him a sharp look but then left the room to get the camera.

"Where's the boyfriend?" Wilson asked when she was out of hearing range.

"Kitchen," House replied. "Wanna meet the man ringing my mom's bell?"

Wilson groaned and shook his head in disgust, causing his beard to slip. "I don't even know how to respond to that question," he finally managed to say, readjusting his beard.

House smirked at him and then led him into the kitchen to meet House's mother's new flame.

* * *

Evie was sleeping in her crib and Blythe was in the kitchen washing dishes that night after supper, David beside her, drying them. House could hear her talking in low tones about how worried she was her granddaughter would grow up motherless and her son spend the rest of his life alone. He rolled his eyes and headed for his favorite guitar, taking it off the hook before settling down with it on the couch, aiming to tune her out.

House was not big on Christmas but he'd wanted it to be special, considering it was his daughter's first. He thought it had actually turned out well. He was even glad he'd allowed Wilson to talk him into a Christmas tree, though he was thankful he hadn't been the one forced into decorating the thing. Evie was clearly fascinated with the lights and the ornaments, though she definitely cared more about the crinkling wrapping paper than she had the actual gifts she'd received. And while he'd never admit it, his mother was right. It was crazy how fast Evie was growing. He thought of how he'd set her down on her belly by the tree and every time she'd flip herself so that she was staring up at the lights in awe. He was glad he'd remembered to charge up the camcorder.

House wondered how Erika and Trevor's Christmas had gone with the in-laws. He thought of her words last night and how she'd said she wouldn't even consider dating Wilson if there was any chance it would cost her House's friendship. For a moment it made him sad, not that she'd said that but because it reminded him of how Cuddy had dated Lucas without any concern for how that would make him feel. Cuddy could date whoever she wanted. He knew it was pathetic to think otherwise. But it was… nice that Erika thought about him first, not that he had any objection to her dating Wilson. In fact, he thought they would probably be a good match.

It was weird though, to consider Wilson dating Erika someday. It seemed like everyone was with someone or about to be with someone, except for him. Even his mother was involved with someone. And who ever thought that would happen?

House wondered what Cuddy and Rachel had done today. Despite being Jewish, he did not doubt that Cuddy would do something to celebrate Rachel's third Christmas. House remembered the day she'd found Rachel and the moment when she'd informed him of her intentions to seek guardianship and eventually adopt. He couldn't help but think of how he'd seen it as the end of a House and Cuddy era and how he'd wished her a Merry Christmas while thinking he'd run out of time and chances with her. He supposed he had. After years of watching Christmases pass by where he somehow still felt like a part of her belonged to him, that was the Christmas when she shifted out from under what had tied them together so long. What had happened the Christmas after was more a fluke than any conscious attempt on her part to give them a shot at a future. He wondered how Cuddy was doing these days, though somehow he doubted she even thought about him anymore. She appeared to have picked up and moved on without any great difficulty.

House started to sing the lyrics to the Christmas song he had unconsciously been playing. But it didn't take long for the words to penetrate into his brain and for him to realize he'd rather hang the guitar up and call it a night than sing that. Setting the guitar aside, he got to his feet and went into the kitchen to say goodnight before he turned in, reminding himself of how grateful he was for Evie's presence in his life. If no one else was completely his, she certainly was. At least until she started dating, but House had no intention of ever allowing that to come to pass.

-----

"_**Please take down the mistletoe**_

'_**Cause I don't want to think about that right now**_

'_**Cause everything I want is miles away**_

_**In a snow-covered little town**_

_**My mama's in the kitchen worryin' about me**_

_**Season's Greetings, hope you're well**_

_**Well, I'm doing alright if you were wondering**_

_**Lately I can never tell**_

_**I know this shouldn't be a lonely time**_

_**But there were Christmases when you were mine**_

_**I've been doing fine without you really**_

_**Up until the nights got cold**_

_**And everybody's here except you, baby**_

_**Seems like everyone's got someone to hold**_

_**But for me it's just a lonely time**_

'_**Cause there were Christmases when you were mine**_

'_**Merry Christmas everybody'**_

_**That'll have to be something I just say this year**_

_**Bet you got your mom another sweater**_

_**And were your cousins late again?**_

_**When you were putting up the lights this year**_

_**Did you notice one less pair of hands?**_

_**I know this shouldn't be a lonely time**_

_**But there were Christmases when I didn't**_

_**Wonder how you are tonight**_

'_**Cause there were Christmases when you were mine**_

_**You were mine"**_

* * *

Song: "Christmases When You Were Mine" (Taylor Swift)


	48. So Yesterday

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Okay... Let me know what you think!)_

* * *

December 31st, 2010

Wilson had planned to host a New Year's party at his place but House's life had changed dramatically and when he begged off due to Evie, in part because of the fact that she wouldn't sleep at Wilson's and in part because he didn't want to be driving home with her when all the drunks were headed home from their own parties, Wilson had suggested they hang out at House's place instead. House agreed under the condition that it fell to Wilson to bring food.

They invited Chase and Cameron but they already had plans. Though Wilson didn't bring it up, House decided he'd invite Erika and Trevor. Though she thought it was kind of crazy to agree to spend New Year's Eve with two bachelors, she'd shown up anyway.

Wilson was out in the living room with Trevor when House headed into the kitchen to restock his plate with snacks. He looked at Erika who was holding Evie and feeding her a bottle. "Who are you going to kiss at the stroke of midnight?" House taunted.

"Oh brother," Erika groaned. "No one. I'm taking my kid and heading home at five to."

House chuckled and popped a corn chip in his mouth. "Are you hiding out in here?" he asked curiously.

She shot him a dirty look and dryly contested, "No. I'm waiting for Evie to finish her bottle so I can stick it in the sink. This place already looks like a disaster between beer bottles, pop cans, and plates of half-eaten food."

"What did you expect? It's New Year's Eve," he replied, shrugging.

Erika placed the empty bottle in the sink and House set aside his plate to go over and take Evie from her, burping her. "I'm going to go change her diaper," he called back on his way out of the room.

"I'm surprised you're not making me do it," she quipped.

House glanced back at her, smiling. "Nope. She's only wet. I try to do my part so that you're only stuck with the dirty diapers."

"Figures," she mumbled under her breath.

House changed Evie's diaper and then returned to the living room to find Erika and Wilson chatting by the fireplace and Trevor sitting on the couch watching TV. His face remained expressionless, though his eyebrows rose as he watched Wilson talking with Erika before he focused on his kid, setting Evie down on the floor on the pad of her gym. Her hands waved wildly as she chortled at the animals hanging over her head and House got to his feet, stretching before retrieving his plate from the kitchen, now restocked, along with another Coke.

* * *

Cuddy sat in her dining room at home on New Year's Eve, surrounded by piles and piles of things she needed to organize before the beginning of the year board meetings coming up shortly. Budgets had been reviewed and revised. She just needed to make some final notations on items still open for discussion. Then she was waiting on the accountant's final report which she hoped to have by the end of next week, along with a listing of their major donors of the past year and the commitments she'd already compiled from donors pledging towards next year.

She got up and headed into the kitchen to set her teapot on the stove before walking through the house to check on Rachel, who was sound asleep. Then she went back to the kitchen to prepare her mug with a teabag before she went back to work, waiting for the teapot to whistle.

* * *

House watched Erika and Wilson from the corner of his eye, reading their body language as he listened to their conversation, which bored him honestly, because what did he care about their school years together. Looking at Trevor, who looked somewhat bored himself, House asked, "Wanna see if you can beat me on the race track?"

Trevor did not hesitate, reaching to the shelf nearby to grab the two hand controllers while House switched the Xbox on and dug out the game he wanted.

* * *

Evie was down for the count by 9 p.m. and Trevor fell asleep around 11. House sat in front of the TV with a sleeping kid next to him, watching the New Year's Eve special programming, vaguely annoyed that Wilson and Erika were still chatting it up. They should just go on a date already. Honestly, he felt like the third wheel in his own house.

Getting to his feet, he headed for Evie's room to check on her, closing the door behind him. He stood next to the crib and watched her sleep, brushing her hair off her face. He really didn't care if Wilson and Erika wanted to see each other. But at the moment and being that it was New Year's Eve, when three-fourths of the world was with their significant other, House felt a little cheated. He didn't let himself think about what Cuddy might be doing or if she'd gotten a babysitter for Rachel so that she could go out. He couldn't deny that he missed the kid, not having seen her now in several weeks, but thinking too much about Evie's sister led to thinking about Evie's mother and really, where could that go?

House heard the countdown start up on the TV and Wilson calling for him, but he stayed put, opting to spend the seconds leading into the New Year with his sleeping kid, hoping it would bring her health, happiness, and all things good.

* * *

The countdown started up on the TV screen and Wilson looked at his watch, surprised to find he'd just passed the last couple hours straight, talking with Erika.

"Where's House?" she asked, looking around the room.

"House," Wilson called out. "Thirty seconds!"

Erika smiled at her sleeping son and thought about waking him but decided not to. She headed for the TV to watch the ball drop in Times Square, Wilson coming alongside her.

And she couldn't remember the last time she felt so awkward, because when the ball dropped and people started hugging and kissing, she really had no clue what to do.

Wilson was no better off. Color suffused his face as he turned to her and mumbled, "Happy New Year," before awkwardly reaching for her and pulling her into a hug, which she returned despite being equally embarrassed. They quickly released each other then and she moved towards her son to wake him up while Wilson quietly excused himself to search for House.

* * *

Cuddy glanced up from her work at the grandfather clock when it struck midnight. Her mother had been with her and Rachel last year at this time, but this year she was alone, save for her sleeping daughter. She thought of how she'd spent last year longing for Lucas to return and say he could forgive her. She wondered briefly where he was and what he was doing tonight.

Then her thought unfortunately turned to House and she tried to brush the thought away but was unsuccessful, something clawing at her heart at the thought of what he might be doing to celebrate. But she couldn't dwell on that so Cuddy pushed her chair back, determined to go check once more on Rachel and then turn in for the night, concluding that even for her, the New Year could only be an improvement on the last one.

* * *

Wilson found House in Evie's room, which was the first place he thought to check.

House headed for the door when Wilson opened it and when he stepped foot in the hallway and closed the door behind him, he turned to Wilson and quietly taunted, "Well? Did you kiss her?"

"You idiot! Is that why you didn't come when I called you?" Wilson declared hotly, now frustrated with House for bailing on him and placing him in a situation that had been much more cumbersome than he'd known how to handle.

House laughed. "I take it you DIDN'T kiss her? Or you kissed her and she didn't enjoy it?" he asked, his eyebrows waggling.

"Just shut up," Wilson demanded. "She'll hear you!"

"But did you kiss her? What? Did she turn away? Rebuff you?" House pressed, genuinely curious.

"I didn't kiss her," Wilson finally muttered. "Now shut up."

"This is so high school for you all over again, isn't it?" House snickered, but followed him back in the direction of the living room where Erika was helping a half-asleep Trevor into his coat.

He chuckled when she avoided his gaze completely, at which point she did look at him, sternly shooting daggers at him with her eyes before glancing Wilson's way.

House couldn't help enjoying their discomfort, after he'd been more than a little uncomfortable being with them all night. He turned to Wilson and innocently suggested, "Maybe you should walk Erika home."

Erika shot House a dirty look and then coolly reminded him, "We only live next door. We'll be fine."

"Oh, I don't know," House murmured thoughtfully. "Someone should probably go with you."

Wilson sighed and headed for the dining room with a bunch of empty bottles and cans to escape the atmosphere.

"House, can I speak with you for a minute?" Erika replied through clenched teeth, reaching for her coat before grabbing his arm and half-dragging him into the foyer and out the front door.

"You're being awful childish about this," House quipped, once the door was shut behind him.

"I'm being childish?! You're making both James and I uncomfortable on purpose for your own enjoyment!" she argued defensively.

"Well, what happened? What's the big deal?" House asked. "You two spent hours talking and suddenly everything is weird."

She huffed out a breath before rolling her eyes. "Nothing happened! It was just awkward. It's not like we're dating. What were we supposed to do when the ball dropped? It was…uncomfortable."

"So start dating," he suggested helpfully.

"Here's what we're going to do," she forcefully began. "You and I are going to go back inside, you'll behave yourself, and… and I'm going to let James walk Trevor and I home so he doesn't feel any worse than he probably already does. But so help me, if you don't behave, I'm going to kill you. And I'm going to kill you slowly."

House smiled but nodded. "Alrighty then," he replied cheerfully before opening the door and heading back inside.

"Would you be willing to walk us home, James?" Erika asked, once Wilson returned from the kitchen.

He looked at her, an eyebrow raised, but nodded, removing his coat from the closet in the foyer.

Erika looked at House, rolling her eyes at his expression.

"Happy New Year's," he smugly declared.

"I'll give you Happy New Year's," she muttered under her breath so only House could hear.

Turning to Trevor she asked, "Are you ready?'

Trevor nodded and Wilson opened the door for the two of them, following them out before shooting a glare House's way. Then he shut the door and walked beside them, not saying anything because he didn't know what to say.

Erika was in the same boat but when they reached her porch, she turned the key in her door before turning back to him and saying, "Thanks for walking us home. I… had a great time talking with you tonight."

Wilson smiled, chagrined, but nodded. "Me too," he acknowledged. "See you later Trevor," he said as the boy headed in the house and sleepily trekked his way upstairs.

"Night," Trevor mumbled, only half-awake.

"Good night, Erika," Wilson said then, his hands in his pockets.

She smiled softly at him. "Night James," she murmured before biting her lip and heading inside as well, glancing at him before slowly shutting the door.

Wilson stood there for a moment and then sighed, thinking maybe this was survivable. But he was still going to kill House.

* * *

January 5th, 2011

Due to Christmas and then New Year's, Cuddy hadn't been able to meet with Kate on the 22nd or the 29th but she had met with her on the 15th. Kate sat at her desk, reviewing their discussion from that last appointment as she readied for Cuddy's next appointment, set to take place in ten minutes. Honestly, she wasn't sure they'd made much progress since the 8th. Lisa HAD come to the point where she could say maybe it was possible that Lucas wasn't her last chance, but she seemed equally sure that she didn't have any interest in dating again. That was fine really, because Kate was 100% certain that Lisa had plenty of things she needed to work through before she got to the point where a relationship would be something Lisa could handle.

There was a knock on the door and Kate moved her chair back before getting up to open it.

"Sorry, your secretary was on the phone and unable to tell you I was here," Cuddy apologized.

"That's perfectly fine. Come on in," Kate invited.

Cuddy walked past her and then waited for Kate to step behind her desk before she sat down.

"It's been quite a while since we last met," Kate said. "How are you?"

"Fine. Just a bit overloaded with trying to finish up the end of year reports for board meetings that take place this week," Cuddy admitted.

Kate nodded understandingly. "What would you like to talk about today?" she asked.

Frankly, it was getting a little hard for even Cuddy to think of things to talk about and still avoid a conversation focusing on House. She'd been only too relieved to not meet with Kate the last two weeks. She'd thought about just cancelling completely, but hadn't made that move yet because she knew Kate would press her for an explanation and Cuddy wasn't sure she had a good reason. She just didn't want to share what had happened with House.

Cuddy moistened her lips and then looked at Kate, her expression reflecting her knowledge that Kate wouldn't like what she was about to say. "I think I'm ready to stop counseling," she forced herself to state.

Kate's eyebrows rose but other than that she didn't show much of a reaction. "You think you've healed from the circumstances that brought you here in the first place?" she inquired.

Okay, well obviously Cuddy couldn't say that. She searched for something to say. "I think I've made enough improvement to get by on," she offered.

"And that's what you want? You want to get by? Nothing more?" Kate asked, leaning across her desk towards Cuddy.

Cuddy's head fell slightly to the side and she gave Kate an almost beseeching look. "Of course not," she admitted, "But I don't want to dwell on the past, either. What's done is done."

"Oftentimes though, it's hard to move on without dealing with the past first," Kate pointed out.

"But I'm fine," Cuddy argued. "My parents have gone home, Rachel's doing well, work's good, I'm coping with all my responsibilities. I'm fine now."

"Are you happy?" Kate asked then.

Cuddy froze, staring at her. Finally she dropped her eyes and looked at the floor. "No."

"What would it take to make you happy?" Kate queried.

"I… I don't know," Cuddy acknowledged, not looking back at her.

"What are you afraid of?" Kate asked, redirecting her focus.

"What do you mean?" she replied, glancing her way briefly.

Kate paused a moment and then asked, "There are things you don't want to talk about. Henry for one. The baby for another. Why is that?"

Kate watched Lisa and observed her pained expression. She knew she was touching a sore spot but if Lisa was serious about wanting to call it quits, it might be one of the only chances she had at helping her.

"I just… can't. I can't talk about them," Cuddy mumbled, shaking her head as her eyes filled up with tears.

Kate got to her feet and came around the desk to turn the other chair around towards Lisa, extending a tissue to her. "But you need to, Lisa. You can't keep denying yourself the chance to heal."

Cuddy took the tissue offered to her but didn't look up to meet Kate's eyes. "Talking about it will only make it hurt worse," she softly replied, her voice breaking.

"Talking about it will free you from the burden of carrying this any longer. I'm here to support you in this. You aren't going to have to face this alone," Kate quietly reassured.

But Cuddy couldn't take the pressure. She got to her feet and practically ran to the door, mumbling, "I'm sorry. I can't," on her way out.

Kate watched her go, sighing. She'd give her a few days and then call, leaving a message with the date and time for their next appointment. Either she'd show up or she wouldn't. But the ball would be in her court.

* * *

January 11th, 2011

Cuddy left work early so that she could run to the mall and get some shopping in before she had to be home so that Stephanie could leave. She headed for Baby Gap, knowing she really needed to get Rachel some clothes, along with a new jacket as her winter one was getting too tight. She had hoped to make it through the winter with the current one but the end of January thru the month of February was predicted to be nasty, and therefore a good winter jacket that fit properly was a necessity.

Just as she was passing the food court, laughter stopped her in her tracks. Walking towards her was Lucas, his arm draped around a younger woman's shoulder. She stood there, frozen, taking everything in. He was smiling and laughing at something the woman was saying and Cuddy didn't know how to decipher what she felt in that moment. Then he looked up and spotted her. There was nothing for it. She couldn't avoid him. So Cuddy smiled, knowing it was one of those awkward smiles that automatically would clue him in to how uncomfortable she was.

He came to a stop in front of her, his arm falling from around the woman's shoulder at the last moment. "Hey Lisa," he greeted her without hesitation.

"Hi Lucas," she mumbled, glancing at the woman beside him who was now staring at her with interest.

"Lisa Cuddy," she introduced herself, mechanically putting her hand out to shake the other woman's hand.

"McKenna," the woman replied, shaking Cuddy's hand, a diamond engagement ring flashing from her finger and causing Cuddy to stare in shock.

"How are you?" Lucas asked her then, his expression suddenly embarrassed. "How's Rachel?"

"I'm doing good," she automatically answered, shaking herself from her stupor to look at him and not the ring. "And Rachel's doing great. She's two now. Keeping me busy."

"How's House? And the baby?" he asked, the idea that these were two awkward questions to ask her not even occurring to him.

"Good," she lied without hesitation, once she'd revived from the question. Before he could ask anything else she asked, "How are you? What are you up to?"

"I'm good. I've been really busy this last year with work. Never a dull moment," he replied, smiling before glancing at the woman beside him.

Cuddy looked at her too and then realized that they probably had things to do. "Well, I've got to go," she murmured. "But it was nice to see you Lucas. And to meet you, McKenna," she concluded.

Lucas nodded, smiling easily. "It was good to see you too Lisa."

She stood in place as they turned away, walking off.

"That's Lisa Cuddy? The woman you were engaged to?" Cuddy overhead McKenna ask Lucas as they walked away.

"Shh!" he hushed her. "Don't talk so loud!"

"But she's…old," McKenna said, still talking loud enough for Cuddy to hear.

Cuddy flushed in embarrassment, horrified. She didn't dare look their way for fear Lucas or McKenna would be looking at her.

"Will you whisper?!" she heard Lucas reply, not really speaking any quieter than McKenna had been. "She'll hear you. Honestly McKenna, I can't take you anywhere," he teased playfully.

Cuddy quickly pulled herself together and walked as quickly as she could the final distance between herself and the entrance to Baby Gap. She headed immediately for the toddler shelves, leaning back against the wall once she was in the back corner of the store. Then she stood there, grappling with how she felt in seeing Lucas again.

"Are you okay?" a concerned saleslady asked, stepping up to her side.

Cuddy looked at her for a moment. And then she did something that surprised even herself. She started laughing. Uncontrollably.

"Ma'am?" the saleslady murmured, reaching out to touch her jacket sleeve. "Are you alright?"

Cuddy managed to nod, attempting to stifle her laughter now. "I just…" she gasped. "I just had an… awkward run-in with my ex and his new fiancée," she finally explained, not knowing why she was even bothering to explain this other than because she didn't want the woman to call security on her.

The saleslady smiled sympathetically, nodding. "Oh, I know all about that, believe you me! But at least you aren't crying! The last guy I was dating broke up with me and then married the next girl who came along. She came in here, eight months pregnant, with him at her side. I thought I'd kill her. I sobbed in the back room for a half hour once she'd left," she concluded, shaking her head.

"My ex was a few years younger than me," Cuddy volunteered in camaraderie. "His new fiancée pointed that out, calling me old when I was still within hearing distance."

The saleslady tisked, put out on Cuddy's behalf. "The nerve of some women!" she replied caustically, before nodding to another customer who was waiting for some help nearby.

"Yeah," Cuddy murmured quietly as the saleslady walked away. But surprisingly, Cuddy was really not all that offended. She was too relieved. All these months she had waited for the moment when she'd next run into Lucas, fearful of how much it would hurt her to see him, afraid that she'd lose it once more, scared that it would dredge up all the emotions she'd experienced, or at the very least, stir up a world of regret for ever messing up and letting him get away. And if she had ever thought to consider it would occur with him being involved with someone new, her anxiety over this moment would have escalated even further. But it had happened. She'd run into him. And she felt… nothing. And… had McKenna been wearing the engagement ring Lucas had given her?! That was kind of… weird. Was Lucas really that… tacky? Seriously?

Cuddy frowned, suddenly worried that she wasn't reacting rationally. She shouldn't feel relieved. But she did. She shouldn't have found the encounter funny. But she had. She should have felt broken that she had lost him and crushed to see someone else with him who was even wearing a ring she'd once worn. But she was neither. What was WRONG with her?!

She struggled with her questions for ten minutes before she finally brushed the thoughts off. The only thing she could conclude was that she'd wasted months worrying about something that hadn't happened, and the months before that, struggling with a loss that in the end was not as bad as she had somehow thought it was. As bewildering as it was, Cuddy knew now what she'd never even thought to consider. Whatever she had once felt for Lucas, it wasn't true of her anymore. She sighed, not understanding how that was possible. But it was. And she couldn't wait to tell Kate that.

Shaking her head in bemusement, she looked around, orienting herself once more to where she was standing in the store. Then she moved around the shelf unit in front of her, heading for the cute jackets they had on a rack nearby. She had shopping to do.

-----

"_**You can change your life (if you wanna)  
You can change your clothes (if you wanna)  
If you change your mind  
Well, that's the way it goes**_

_**But I'm gonna keep your jeans  
And your old black hat ('cause I wanna)  
They look good on me  
You're never gonna get them back**_

_**At least not today, not today, not today  
'Cause**_

_**If it's over, let it go and  
Come tomorrow it will seem  
So yesterday, so yesterday  
I'm just a bird that's already flown away**_

_**Laugh it off and let it go and  
When you wake up it will seem  
So yesterday, so yesterday  
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay?**_

_**You can say you're bored (if you wanna)  
You can act real tough (if you wanna)  
You can say you're torn  
But I've heard enough**_

_**Thank you, you made my mind up for me  
When you started to ignore me  
Do you see a single tear?  
It isn't gonna happen here  
At least not today, not today, not today  
'Cause**_

_**If it's over, let it go and  
Come tomorrow it will seem  
So yesterday, so yesterday  
I'm just a bird that's already flown away**_

_**Laugh it off and let it go and  
When you wake up it will seem  
So yesterday, so yesterday  
Haven't you heard**_

_**That I'm gonna be okay?**_

_**If you're over me, I'm already over you  
If it's all been done, what is left to do?  
How can you hang up if the line is dead?  
If you wanna walk, I'm a step ahead  
If you're moving on, I'm already gone  
If the light is off then it isn't on  
At least not today, not today, not today  
'Cause**_

_**If it's over, let it go and  
Come tomorrow it will seem  
So yesterday, so yesterday  
I'm just a bird that's already flown away**_

_**Laugh it off and let it go and  
When you wake up it will seem  
So yesterday, so yesterday  
Haven't you heard?**_

_**You're so yesterday, so yesterday**_

_**If it's over let it go and**_

_**Come tomorrow it will seem**_

_**So yesterday, so yesterday**_

_**I'm just a bird that's already flown away**_

_**Laugh it off and let it go and  
When you wake up it will seem  
So yesterday, so yesterday  
Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay?"**_

* * *

Song: "So Yesterday" (Hilary Duff)


	49. Ashes & Wine

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I'm SO glad you guys loved the last chapter! Hope you enjoy this one too!!!)_

* * *

January 12th, 2011

Kate picked up the phone when her secretary buzzed her. "Yes Linda?" she inquired.

"Dr. Cuddy's here for her appointment," she replied.

Kate wasn't sure whether she was more shocked or relieved. She'd penciled her into the schedule but Lisa hadn't replied to her message one way or the other. "Send her in," she finally thought to say.

The door opened a moment later and Kate looked at Cuddy, wide-eyed. "You're back," she said then.

Cuddy nodded and for the first time she shut the door and walked to take a seat, a smile on her face. Kate couldn't remember a time when Lisa had smiled with the relieved expression she was wearing right now.

Her eyebrows went up and she asked, "What happened to change your mind?"

"I ran into Lucas yesterday," she replied. "I was at the mall and I ran into him there."

Kate wasn't sure what to think of that announcement. "How did that go?" she settled on asking. "Tell me about it."

"I went to the mall to buy Rachel a new winter jacket and ran into Lucas by the food court. He was with another woman. His new fiancée," Cuddy explained.

That had not been what Kate had been expecting. She thought maybe Lisa was going to tell her he was willing to give her another shot and that was why she was so happy today. "How did that make you feel?" she asked in surprise.

Cuddy sighed but the smile didn't leave her lips. "I guess… I don't even know how to answer that. I mean, if you had asked me before this how I THOUGHT I'd feel in this moment, I would have expected to be devastated. Even if he wasn't engaged. I thought… seeing Lucas again would break me. I… loved him. I mean, I did, didn't I? I thought I did," she murmured, questioning herself now.

"What did you expect to feel if ever you saw him again?" Kate inquired, folding her hands in her lap as she sat back in her chair to study her.

"I thought all those feelings I'd had for him and all I'd felt when he walked away would all come flooding to the surface. I assumed I'd feel like I'd been cheated out of my happy ending, but also that … I'd most definitely have a relapse into depression. I… Well, it wasn't supposed to happen like it did. I'm honestly so confused. But at the same time, I'm SO relieved! I felt… nothing. Kate, why didn't I feel anything at all?" Lisa asked skeptically. "Is there something wrong with me that I feel nothing about it?"

"How did you feel about the fact that he was with another woman?" Kate inquired first.

Cuddy shrugged, pursing her lips as she moved her head from side to side. "Honestly, nothing. I mean, it was awkward. It really WAS awkward. But beyond that, I didn't care at all. I don't know if I've told you but Lucas was younger than me. His fiancée made a comment about how 'old' I was as they walked away. And that was a little embarrassing," Cuddy admitted. "But it was all really strange. She…" Cuddy shot Kate a doubtful look but then said, "I think she had my ring on her finger and that was just… odd. Who does that?! Don't most people return or sell an engagement ring to get their money back when it falls through? And if they get engaged to someone else, isn't it common logic that you don't give your new fiancée your ex-fiancée's ring?"

Kate laughed at Lisa's amused rant. "So you're good? You're good with Lucas being with someone new?" she clarified.

Cuddy nodded slowly. "I am. Isn't that… amazing?" she finished.

Kate smiled, pleased for Cuddy's sake.

"But… I don't really understand," Cuddy continued. "Why was I so crushed when he left?! I mean, I went… ballistic. I cried for hours; I called him ALL the time; I e-mailed him. I could NOT accept that it was over. What was wrong with me?! I became… obsessive about it. And why am I now handling this so well? Did I not love him?" She looked expectantly at Kate for some enlightenment on the subject.

Kate shrugged. "Sometimes it's hard to find a rational explanation for how we react to something. From previous conversations, I'd say it's safe to conclude that at the time, you felt you had a lot hinging on your relationship with Lucas. You've basically said that you considered him your last shot. Maybe now you'll be able to look back and better understand why that was. Is it safe to say that maybe your relationship with Lucas was fulfilling a need you had that was otherwise going unmet?"

"Maybe," Cuddy replied uncertainly as she bit her lip. "I guess I have to think about that. Certainly I was at a point where I wanted to find someone to share my life with. And the intimacy of our relationship was definitely meeting needs that weren't otherwise getting fulfilled. But… I don't know. I still don't understand. I… went off the deep end." And Kate didn't even know the half of it yet but Cuddy wasn't prepared to direct her focus to what happened with House. She was enjoying her state of being relieved too much to dredge that up.

"You might never understand it completely," Kate said gently. "But you're getting somewhere. And that's really exciting. Have you changed your mind about being done with counseling? Would you like to keep meeting and see if we can puzzle through this mystery for you?"

Cuddy hesitated but then nodded. Maybe she'd even be able to get to the point of talking about House. If Lucas had ended up not being as big a deal as she'd made him into, maybe the situation with House would prove just as easy to sort through and move beyond.

"Sorry I didn't return your call," she remembered to apologize. "I didn't think I'd be coming but…"

"Not a problem. I'm just glad you did," Kate reassured.

Cuddy looked at her thoughtfully but then nodded. "Me too."

* * *

January 15th, 2011

Cuddy had the best week she could remember having in quite some time. To celebrate, she decided to take Rachel to the mall, thinking they'd get a little shopping in, eat at the food court, and even allow Rachel an opportunity to play in the kids' area, since Rachel really didn't get any opportunities to be around other children.

Afterwards, they headed out to the parking lot. Cuddy was listening to Rachel babble on excitedly about the treehouse with the slide when she glanced up to look in the direction of where she'd parked. And then she froze because right next to her car was House's car.

At first she thought she was wrong and so Cuddy started moving once more, though she was only hesitantly making her approach with Rachel now, no longer listening to what Rachel was telling her. But as she got closer, she recognized a dent on its side from when he'd slammed a wheelchair into it that day when he'd committed himself to staying in a wheelchair in order to gain back his parking spot. She might not have even known it existed, except that House, being House, tried to submit a bill with several pictures attached, trying to force PPTH to pay for the repair job, when she knew very well that House would never bother to fix it and just wanted to play with her. He'd tried to argue his point by dragging her outside that day, expounding how serious it was while she stared at the pathetic dent and the man making an equally pathetic argument.

Cuddy suddenly couldn't breathe. She just stared at it. And then she frantically dug for her key fob to unlock her doors so that she could buckle Rachel in the car and get out of the parking lot before House returned. She finally got her doors unlocked and jostled Rachel in the process of yanking the door open, but when she glanced at the car and saw the baby seat in the backseat, she was spurred on into moving faster.

Cuddy had just closed Rachel's door when she heard the doors of House's car unlock. Cuddy froze like a deer in the headlights, panic setting in. But when she slowly turned around, it wasn't House approaching the car at all but a young woman with two boys.

Cuddy stared at her, completely bewildered. The woman opened the door on the opposite side of the car to let her older child in and then glanced up and noticed Cuddy's eyes on her. She stared right back.

Cuddy shook herself and searched for an excuse for her odd behavior. "I… I…"she stuttered.

"Are you okay?" the woman asked, clearly concerned.

"I'm sorry. I thought I recognized your car. It looked like… the car of someone I know," she attempted to explain. "It… even had a dent in the exact same spot."

"Oh," the woman said, shutting the door now that her son was buckled in to go around and open the door near Cuddy to place her younger son in his car seat. "Maybe it is," she replied, shrugging. "I'm trying to get my life back together, you know. I got it through the shelter my boys and I stayed in for a while. It was donated."

Cuddy stared at her and when the woman looked back up at her, she nodded, not having words to respond properly. Moving around her car to get to the driver's seat, she opened the door and was just about to climb in when the woman called out, "Hey!"

"Yes?" she replied, waiting.

"If you see your friend, let them know that I really appreciate what they did in donating it and that this car means a lot to me," the woman said hesitantly with a soft smile as she opened her own door to get in.

Cuddy nodded and then got in her car, closing the door behind her. She turned on the engine but sat there until the other car drove away, stunned and uncertain as to what to think of what House had obviously done.

* * *

January 19th, 2011

Kate thought they'd probably exhausted the topic of Lucas for the present, so when Cuddy came in the following Wednesday, she was hopeful that they could move onward and maybe discuss Henry or the loss of her baby, since she was almost certain Cuddy's loss was probably a major contributor to the depression she had fallen into.

"Lisa, I was wondering if you might be interested in talking about your pregnancy today," she casually asked, once Cuddy had taken a seat across from her.

Cuddy instantly froze, her eyes wide, looking like she was about to bolt.

"Or maybe we could talk about Henry and you could tell me a little more about him," Kate offered quickly, hoping that would be enough to remove Cuddy's finger from whatever triggered her into making an escape.

Cuddy stared at her for a long moment but ever so slowly nodded her head. She licked her lips and quietly replied, "Maybe I could try to tell you more about Henry."

Kate nodded encouragingly. "Where would you like to start?" she asked.

Cuddy didn't want to go anywhere near the subject of her pregnancy. But it was hard to pick a place that was safe to begin at.

"Would you like to tell me about how you met? You mentioned Lucas referring to a history you and Henry shared. Would you like to tell me about that?" Kate suggested.

Cuddy bit her lip but decided that was as good as any place to start at. "We met in med school," she began. "He was an older student with a reputation for being cocky and arrogant; brilliant, but a womanizer. I was committed to my studies, determined to make my mark in a man's world, prove myself and rise to the top. One day I was walking across campus, my arms loaded down with books for a paper I was writing, when he came along and intentionally bumped into me, causing my books to go everywhere. He tried to pretend like it wasn't purposeful, but I knew it was. I also knew of his reputation and once he introduced himself, that was enough to write him down on my list of people to avoid. I wasn't interested in getting involved with someone and certainly not a guy like him. But he wouldn't return my books until I gave him my name."

"Anyway," she continued. "I ended up switching into his endocrinology class when I overheard another student talking about how Henry was genuinely brilliant, despite his arrogance, and how much he'd learned from overhearing… Henry's commentary on the subjects being covered in class. I figured that even if I wasn't interested in him and had no intention of spending time alone with him, it wouldn't hurt to be in his class.

"And then he started showing up wherever I went. He badgered me until I finally agreed to play him in tennis. And… I don't know. He proved to not JUST be an arrogant jerk. He was funny, incredibly quick-witted, definitely brilliant, and… sexy. I couldn't help but be attracted to him. I… still had no intention of getting involved with him. I'd had boyfriends in the past but there was no way I was going to risk getting pregnant and find myself unable to pursue my career goals so I'd never allowed any of those relationships to reach a point of physical intimacy. And I most certainly wasn't going to sleep with him when he had a reputation for 'loving and leaving them.' I wasn't going to be just another notch on his belt. But… we just spent so much time together. I couldn't help but fall for him. And when I finally allowed him to kiss me, I was putty in his hands.

"The following summer, I got a job at a hospital near our campus and he stayed for an internship. Our relationship… I loved him. And one night things got really heated and I didn't want to stop. So we made love. And the next day was great. We were fine. But I don't know what happened," she said, her voice becoming softer. "A week passed without hearing from him and the next thing I knew, I was being told he'd been caught cheating and was kicked out of school. I… He just left. He didn't come looking for me or try to explain what had happened. He just disappeared. And… that was that," Cuddy concluded, staring down at the carpet.

Kate studied her, trying to read her expression. She didn't seem upset about it, but then, it had happened a long time ago. "How do you feel about everything that happened with Henry now, when you're looking back at it?" Kate asked finally.

Cuddy shrugged, unsure that there was an easy answer for that. Instead she deflected. "Honestly, I haven't allowed myself to think about it in a long time. I don't know that I feel anything one way or the other anymore. It's in the past. When he came back into my life, he was involved with someone. I never asked him for an explanation. I figured it was ancient history."

"How do you feel about him now?" Kate inquired.

Just then, Cuddy's pager went off. Frankly, even if it had been nothing, she probably would have taken it as an excuse to leave. She wasn't sure she wanted to talk about how she felt about him. She didn't even know how to answer that question because she really didn't know how she felt about him. Cuddy was careful to push him from her mind.

"I've got to go," she said after looking at the page.

Kate glanced at her watch and saw that they were out of time anyway. "Okay. See you next week?"

Cuddy nodded, getting to her feet. "Alright," she replied before heading to the door.

* * *

January 26th, 2011

Cuddy took a seat in the chair she always sat in during her appointments with Kate, while Kate herself finished pouring them each a mug of hot water for tea. Once she handed Cuddy her mug, she carried hers carefully back to her seat, waiting for Cuddy to choose what kind of tea she wanted before doing the same.

"How's your last week been?" Kate asked as she dunked her teabag in and out of her mug, causing a red cloud of color to seep from the bag and swirl into the water.

"It's been fine," Cuddy replied. She'd just come from an annoying meeting with a board member who was concerned that they weren't getting the same kind of commitments from donors in comparison to the year before due to the absence of the Diagnostics department, but that wasn't exactly something she thought appropriate to share with Kate.

"Good," Kate said. "How's Rachel doing?"

"She's really good," Cuddy replied, smiling. "My nanny is taking next week off to go skiing with some friends but my mom is coming to stay with us and help me out with Rachel. I was planning to work my normal hours but she's somehow talked me into taking part of the week off so that the three of us can hang out together. I suppose I agreed in part because I want her to see that I'm doing fine and she doesn't have to worry about me anymore."

Kate smiled and nodded understandingly. "Do you want to reschedule our appointment or does Wednesday still work for you?"

"Can we switch it to the same time on Tuesday, instead?" Cuddy suggested. "I'm only planning on being in the office Monday and Tuesday."

"Let me have Linda check my schedule quick," Kate replied, reaching for her phone.

"Linda?" she said a moment later. "How's my schedule looking for next Tuesday afternoon? Dr. Cuddy would like to reschedule for the same time but on Tuesday."

"That'll work," Linda replied, plugging her opposite ear to be able to hear Kate better. "But while I have you on the phone, Mrs. Peterson is in the waiting room insisting to see you," Linda continued in a hushed whisper. "Can you spare a minute? Her baby's pretty distraught but she refuses to feed him in public and says she'll feed him out in the car once she's talked to you."

Kate looked at Lisa and covered the mouthpiece. "Tuesday works fine but apparently I have a patient out in the waiting room who was hoping I could talk to her. It will only take a moment. Would you mind?"

"No, that's fine," Cuddy assured her, thinking she completely understood because she was always being pulled this way and that during the day. "I know how it is to be needed in multiple places at once."

"Thanks," Kate said gratefully before moving her hand to reply to Linda, "I'll be right out but make sure she understands I only have a moment."

"Got it," Linda agreed, hanging up then.

"You're sure you're okay with this?" Kate asked to double-check. "I never do this but she's one of those people who, if I don't go out and speak with her, will most likely barge on in."

"Really, it's fine," Cuddy said, smiling.

Kate stood up and walked to the door, pulling it open. She stepped outside but the door remained ajar, unbeknownst to her. "Can I help you Ingrid?" Kate asked the frazzled woman before her with a wailing baby in her arms.

"I need you to write me a new prescription for another medication. I think Matthew is reacting to this one," Ingrid Peterson replied anxiously.

"He shouldn't be. It's not known to transfer through breast milk," Kate replied calmly.

"But he's been like this for days," Ingrid worriedly declared. "He's crying all the time."

Cuddy was sitting in Kate's office but the minute she heard the baby crying, it was like a flashback to being in the hospital and hearing House's baby crying until the nurses took her out of the room. Cuddy instantly felt paralyzed and panicked. Forcing herself to her feet, she rushed from the room and straight past Kate who was still talking to the woman with her baby.

"Hold on just one second, Ingrid," Kate murmured before running after Cuddy. She caught up to her in the hallway outside.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Kate asked in concern, catching her by the arm.

"I… I've got to leave," Cuddy mumbled, not looking at Kate but waiting to be released.

"Why? You just got here," Kate pressed, not wanting to risk the chance that Cuddy would leave and not come back.

Cuddy looked at her, shaking her head adamantly. "I've got to go. I can't stay. I need to leave."

"Lisa, what are you running from?" Kate asked softly, her hand now just resting on Cuddy's.

"I… I've just got to… go," Cuddy stuttered before rushing down the hall and around the corner, out of sight.

Kate stared after her, somehow getting the impression that this had a lot to do with Mrs. Peterson's crying baby. She wondered what it would take to get Lisa to open up about the child she'd lost. It was obvious that was something she needed to talk about, even if it was equally obvious she didn't want to.

* * *

January 29th, 2011

House heard the door open and stopped playing the piano to look down at Evie who was lying under her gym before turning his focus to the doorway. "Hey Wilson," he called out.

"Hey," Wilson answered as he hung up his coat and pulled his shoes off. "I brought Chinese."

House pushed himself to his feet and moved the gym aside before reaching for Evie, lifting her up into his arms to head for the foyer. Wilson was just placing his shoes in the closet. He brushed his hands off and reached for the baby, who smiled and cooed at him happily.

"Hey drooler," he greeted her in a silly voice.

"She's got a tooth coming in," House informed him. "You're lucky you weren't here this morning. She was miserable. But I think the medicine is helping. At least, it means I haven't had to hold her for the past forty-five minutes anyway."

"Uncle's big girl is getting a tooth?" Wilson continued cooing to her, jiggling her a little out in front of him to get her to giggle.

House spotted the bag of food on the floor and reached down for it, suddenly starving. "How's life at PPTH?" he asked over his shoulder as he headed for the kitchen, Wilson following behind.

"Same ol', same ol'," Wilson replied with a shrug. "What about at RE?"

"Cameron's driving me crazy," House responded, rolling his eyes.

Wilson's eyebrow raised at that. "Yeah? How come?"

"She's hounding me about some butterfly exhibit that opens up at the zoo in March. Wants to drag me and Evie along," he complained.

"You're right. THAT would be terrible," Wilson sarcastically remarked. "But otherwise, things are good?"

"Yeah," House said, loading up two plates with food from within the bag. "But it's been a couple weeks now since I've had a genuinely interesting and halfway challenging case. Even Cameron agreed that she's ready for me to be making her chase around as if she's four people instead of just one."

Wilson adjusted Evie in his arms and then carefully picked up his plate to bring it into the living room. He set it down on the coffee table and then laid Evie down on the cushion beside him, chuckling at how she was trying to cram her fist in her mouth as she babbled and cooed.

"We're going over to Erika's tonight for pizza and a movie. Wanna come?" House asked as he entered the room with his own plate.

"I wish I could," Wilson replied genuinely. "But I'm 90% certain I'll be going into PPTH tonight. One of my patient's took a turn for the worst this morning and I got a heads up a couple hours ago."

"Are you sure you aren't just avoiding Erika because of New Year's?" House quipped while he lowered himself to the floor and leaned back against the couch.

Wilson chuckled but shook his head. "Nope."

"You should ask her out. She's probably home right now," House suggested casually.

Wilson studied him. "I don't get why you're pushing this," he replied honestly.

"You have to move on and leave Amber in the past at some point Jimmy," he prompted with a pointed look.

"Yeah? And have you left Cuddy in the past?" Wilson volleyed back.

"Touché," House muttered, cramming as much food as he could into his mouth as he reached for the remote to see what was on.

* * *

Erika opened the door to allow House and Evie to enter.

"Did the pizza guy deliver yet?" House asked.

Erika gave him a dirty look. "You were supposed to bring the pizza. Not have it delivered here so that I had to pay for it."

House laughed and then gave her his most innocent look. "But I had my hands full with my kid!"

Erika sighed dramatically and reached for Evie. House smiled but then pulled thirty dollars from his pocket and tucked it in her pocket while she unzipped Evie's snowsuit.

"You still owe me for the tip," she informed him with a smile.

"You'll have to earn it," he quipped suggestively, earning himself an eye roll.

"Trevor, we're going to start the movie," Erika called up to her son from the bottom of the stairs.

"Be right down!" he shouted back.

Erika turned and looked House's way, an eyebrow raised. "You've turned my kid into a gaming addict. He's been online for the last hour trying to beat some kid in Japan in a game of chess."

House laughed and then headed into the kitchen to open a pizza box and grab a slice while it was still steaming. Erika followed behind him with Evie.

"You're still coming with us Monday to see Trevor compete in chess?" she asked, turning back to House. "You were able to take the afternoon off?"

"Yeah, but I'm driving, so I'll pick you up here," he told her.

"Why are you driving?" she asked suspiciously. "Why not me?"

"Because I don't trust women drivers," House taunted, chuckling when she adjusted her hold on Evie to act like she was going to sucker-punch him.

"You're just driving because Evie's car seat is already in your car," she argued, giving him a dirty look.

House shrugged. "If it makes you feel better, sure. Believe that."

She clucked her tongue at him but exasperatedly said, "Fine. Be here by 3 p.m. though. It starts at 3:30 p.m. and I don't want to be late."

"Got it," he replied around a bite of pizza, smiling when her finger came up to wipe a smudge of sauce from the corner of his mouth. But the smile was wiped off his face when she licked her finger playfully, laughing at the shocked expression on his face.

"Disney flick tonight. I'm tired of watching monster trucks," she drolly said as she reached for some paper plates.

"Which one?" House asked skeptically. "I am not watching 'Lady and the Tramp' with you. I don't care if it is one of your favorites."

"Fine," she grumpily declared. "We'll watch 'Cars' then."

House chuckled and reached for another slice of pizza but before he could pop it in his mouth Erika stepped closer and took a bite of it. "I want a slice of the Supreme and a slice of Cheese," she told him as she turned and walked in the direction of the living room.

"But the one you just took a bite from is a Meat Lover's," he dryly replied.

"I know," she called back, shooting him a smile over her shoulder. "I just wanted a taste. You can have it now."

House grunted but brought the pizza to his mouth, finishing it off before grabbing a plate and loading it up with what Erika wanted.

* * *

January 31st, 2011

"You did good kid," House told Trevor, looking at him in the rearview mirror.

Trevor smiled broadly, basking in House's compliment. He'd won two out of three matches in the scrimmage against other teammates in his chess club and his mom had been fussing over him ever since but this was the first time House had said anything, having simply ruffled his hair immediately after the scrimmage came to a close.

"Why didn't Wilson come?" Trevor inquired.

House smiled and glanced Erika's way contemplatively. She ignored him, though a small smile hovered on her lips for a second. Trevor brought up Wilson quite often now and each time, Erika knew House was looking at her waiting for her reaction. So far she had refused to give him one.

"He had a patient he couldn't leave today," House replied. "He wanted to come but his patient's not doing the best."

"Can we stop on the way home and see him?" Trevor asked hopefully.

"I think he's still at work," House said, glancing at the clock.

"Isn't PPTH about five miles from here?" Erika casually asked as House came to a stop at the light, surprising herself with the question.

"Can we go see him? Please, House?! Please can we go?!" Trevor clamored excitedly from the backseat. "I want to tell him about my match!"

"I wouldn't mind dropping in, if it's alright with you, House," Erika added honestly. "I'd love to see where you worked and it would be nice to drop in and say hi."

For a second House couldn't help but think that he'd like to see his old stomping grounds too. But then all he could think of was how little he wanted to run into Cuddy and that he had his daughter in the backseat with him. "I don't…" he began.

"Please, House!! Please!" Trevor pressed. "I REALLY want to see Wilson! I REALLY want to go!"

House glanced at Erika for some help in this but she was looking quite hopeful too and he suddenly realized that she had no reason to understand why he was reluctant to go.

She caught his look and grew somber instantly. "If you don't want to go," she started to say.

House read her expression. She was reading him all wrong. She thought this was some sign or indication on his part that he really didn't want her to see Wilson, regardless of what he'd said in the past. He didn't want to go. Not at all if there was a possibility of running into Cuddy there. But this was Erika. And when did she ever ask anything of him? Furthermore, Wilson appeared to need a little push. Couldn't he just prove himself capable of being unselfish this once?

Rolling his eyes he decided he could survive this. Cuddy might not even be there. It was after 5:30 p.m. now. Anyway, there was nothing in their agreement to say he couldn't visit PPTH ever again.

"Let's go," House declared, squaring his jaw as he turned left to head in the direction of his old workplace.

"Yea!" Trevor exclaimed in the backseat.

Erika looked at House frowning, tilting her head at an angle as if to say that he didn't have to do this if he didn't want to.

House ignored her and drove to PPTH, working through how he could pull this off. Trevor undid his seatbelt the minute they pulled into the parking lot, climbing out of the car as soon as the car came to a stop, the door shutting heavily behind him.

House shut off the engine but Erika caught his hand before he could climb from the car. "Why are we here?" she asked then, an eyebrow lifted.

"Because your kid wants to see Wilson," House replied, shrugging.

"But you don't want to be here," she mumbled. "House, if this is about Wilson and I… If you think we'll go in there and he might ask me out… I already told you that I won't date him if you don't like the idea."

House rolled his eyes again and gave her a pointed look. "I already told you that I don't have a problem with you and Wilson dating. In fact, I don't care if YOU want to be the one to ask HIM out!" he declared pointedly.

"Then why…?" Erika began bemusedly.

"There are other reasons why I don't want to be here," he muttered, glancing out the window at Trevor who was standing right outside House's door, gesturing for them to hurry up.

Erika smiled at her son but held up her hand to tell him to wait a minute. She looked back at House in concern. "This has nothing to do with Wilson?" she asked, wanting to be sure.

"No," he replied, glancing in the backseat at Evie now. "I haven't been back to PPTH since I left," he mumbled reluctantly.

She waited for him to continue but he didn't. Finally he looked at her and grumbled, "Let's go."

Erika hesitated but when he shoved his door open and climbed out, she really had no choice but to follow.

House removed his coat and threw it up on the roof of the car before opening the backseat door. He leaned in, unbuckling Evie who was sound asleep. Then he carefully backed out of the car.

Erika had come around to his side, intending to delve further into his reasoning for why he didn't want to come. She stood there, trying to figure out how to ask. But House turned to her and ordered, "Take off your jacket. You're going to wear mine."

She looked at him in surprise but did as he said. Once she had her arms in the sleeves, he tucked Evie inside her coat and covered her carefully, adjusting Erika's left arm so that she was cradling his daughter securely before he took his hands away. "Are we hiding her?" she asked disbelievingly.

House just nodded, his mouth setting firmly.

"House, this is ridiculous!" she argued. "If it's this big a deal, let's just go!"

"Are you coming?!" Trevor demanded impatiently from twenty feet away.

"Trevor, just wait," she scolded before looking back at House.

"It'll be fine," House stated. "I just don't want to make a big deal of being here and I have my own reasons for wanting to keep the fact that I even have a kid quiet." He turned her by the shoulders and steered her in Trevor's direction. House saw she was biting her lip and he sarcastically mumbled, "Don't look so happy to be here with me."

"House," she said doubtfully.

But he wrapped his arm around her and gave her a reassuring smile while saying, "Come on. Cheer up. You can look at me all googly-eyed and make me look good before my ex-co-workers."

Erika sighed and shook her head but she relaxed somewhat, leaning into him for a moment.

Trevor turned around at the door to the lobby and smiled at them before hitting the handicapped button to cause the doors to open automatically. House rolled his eyes and muttered "Lazy kid," under his breath, causing Erika to smile.

They walked in the front door and House ignored everyone as he looked to be sure Evie was well-hidden before glancing around to see if Cuddy was in sight. She wasn't. He breathed a sigh of relief, which Erika noted, and then directed Trevor towards the elevators. Trevor hit the button and once the elevator arrived House told him to press the button for the fourth floor as he turned around with Erika to face forward. The doors were closing and he couldn't help but groan when he saw the number of people staring after him. Wherever Cuddy was, if she was here he somehow had the feeling word would spread about him being here and reach her. However, if she was to find out he concluded he really had nothing to worry about. More than likely she'd avoid him.

The elevator opened up at the fourth floor and they got off. House glanced at his conference room as they passed on the way to Wilson's, his lips pursing to see Cuddy hadn't replaced him nor given his space to someone else. "That was my office," House told Erika a moment later.

She raised an eyebrow at him but looked within. "It's awful empty," she said softly.

"Well, I'm kind of hard to replace," he teasingly quipped.

Erika laughed, looking at him affectionately. "I'm sure you are," she agreed lightly, feeling much more comfortable now that he seemed more relaxed.

"This is it," House said then, turning to Trevor. Wilson's door was open and House suddenly realized he still had his arm protectively around Erika. Dropping his arm, he entered Wilson's office and plopped down on his couch as if it was just another day at PPTH.

Wilson stared at him, baffled. Then Trevor entered, followed by Erika, and Wilson's mouth finally dropped open in shock.

* * *

Cuddy was working on the pharmacy log in the clinic when she overheard a nurse say, "Lord have mercy! I almost couldn't believe my eyes! Dr. House hasn't been here in months! And five minutes ago I look up from the paperwork I'm entering into the computer and there he is, as roguishly handsome as ever!"

Cuddy's head immediately turned, her eyes wide as they settled on Rhonda, the nurse speaking.

She was leaning over the desk, talking to Tricia who was on duty at the Clinic desk. "What do you think he's doing here?" Tricia inquired curiously.

"The elevator went up to the fourth floor. I'm sure he's here to visit Dr. Wilson. Those two were thick as thieves," Rhonda reminded her. "Hopefully he'll stay out of trouble while he's here!" she quipped, smiling.

But then she glanced Cuddy's way and realized her boss was staring at her. Chagrined, she quickly turned and made her way back out to the front desk to go back to work.

Cuddy watched her go and then looked at Tricia, who was focusing her gaze down at the file before her, pretending they hadn't just been talking about the doctor everyone knew drove Cuddy crazy.

"I'll be in my office if anyone needs me," Cuddy murmured to no one in particular, heading there to collect herself.

* * *

"You're going to catch flies with that thing," House quipped.

Wilson shut his mouth but got to his feet and motioned Trevor and Erika to have a seat before shutting the door, even going so far as to lock it.

"Relax Wilson. She'll avoid me as if I'm the bubonic plague if she finds out I'm here," House said casually.

"Who?" Erika asked, adjusting her arms around Evie.

"You brought her _here_?!" Wilson demanded, realizing that Evie was with. He quickly closed his blinds as well.

"She's hidden. She'll be fine. She fell asleep in the car," House replied dismissively.

"But…" Wilson sputtered.

"Who will avoid you?" Erika asked again, holding the baby a little closer and quite protectively now.

House shot a look Wilson's way. "Not here. Not now," House said to him before glancing Erika's way.

"Trevor," House called to the boy who was looking from one adult to the next, totally confused as to what was going on. "Tell Wilson why we're here visiting him."

Wilson's eyebrows rose but he turned expectantly to the boy.

Trevor smiled proudly and said, "I won two out of three of my matches today at the chess scrimmage!"

Wilson couldn't help but smile at Trevor's exuberant expression. "Congratulations!" he declared, clapping him on the shoulder.

"And one of the boys I beat was older than me!" Trevor added as he made his way over to the little knickknacks Wilson's patients had given him over the years.

Erika laughed, opening the jacket to check on Evie before saying, "You'll have to come watch him sometime."

Wilson turned his attention to her. "I'd like that," he replied softly, his eyes turning somber as they traced over her features in a way that made House roll his eyes, thinking that wasn't all Wilson would like.

Erika's cheeks pinkened just slightly, which House noted and decided to have fun with.

"So," he casually said from where he was reclined on the couch, "Erika's wondering if you'll ever get around to asking her out."

Erika snapped her head in his direction, red creeping from her neck to her face. "House! I never…"

"Never gave me permission to bring it up, I know," he deflected. "But how about it Wilson? When are you going to grow some…" he paused, looking at Trevor who seemed to be more interested in Wilson's toys than in what the conversation was. House played it safe, just in case. "When are you going to grow up and ask her out?" he finished instead.

Wilson was almost as red as Erika. He glanced embarrassedly in her direction before focusing on House in frustration with his lack of tact.

House just smiled smugly. "Erika's waiting. She's got an opening in her schedule, just for you."

"House, shut up!" Erika bit out, mortified that he would do this to her.

House pushed himself to his feet and scathingly muttered, "Oh for crying out loud!" before reaching for Wilson's calendar on his desk and tossing it into her lap.

Erika looked from House to Wilson, her head shaking in horrified confusion as to what she was supposed to do to escape the awkwardness of this debacle House had placed her in.

And then Wilson smiled out of nowhere and grabbed a pen from his pocket and gave it to her. "Circle a date," he suggested, shrugging. "Then maybe he'll leave us alone. Besides, I think you probably deserve a break from his tiresome company. I know I could."

Erika bit her lip but then looked at his calendar, finally circling a week from Friday before handing the calendar back his way.

* * *

House was in the hospital. House was here. In her hospital. And instead of feeling indignant or angry, as she should, all she wanted was to see him. It had been so long. So very long.

Cuddy didn't know what was wrong with her. This wasn't how she was supposed to be reacting. Her heart was racing in her chest and she sank down on her couch, her fingers automatically going to check her pulse. It was fast. Very fast. Getting to her feet, she paced, trying to decide what to do. She should bury herself in paperwork and pretend like she hadn't heard Rhonda's words. She should focus on doing her job and avoid the rest of the hospital until he had gone. But instead, Cuddy headed back to the clinic and grabbed a stack of files to peruse as a cover. If he was here, really truly here, she wasn't going to waste an opportunity to see him and drink him in one more time.

* * *

"I'm going to kill you," Erika muttered as they headed back towards the elevator, Wilson having been called off to check on his terminal patient and talk to the family.

"You should thank me," House informed her somberly.

"Thank you?!" she declared indignantly.

"No problem," he quickly replied, one corner of his mouth twitching as he casually added, "Glad to help."

"I'm going to help you right off a cliff," she bit out, her eyes reflecting her irritation.

"Well, I'd wait until after your date, if I were you," House replied with a raised eyebrow. "You might need me to babysit."

Erika pouted but followed him into the elevator, Trevor following behind.

When the door closed, House turned to her and adjusted his jacket on her, his eyes focusing on her face for a moment. "You know you want to thank me," he teased.

She couldn't help the smile that came to her lips so she just looked away, causing House to chuckle.

The doors to the elevators opened and Trevor immediately reached for House's hand. House was surprised by that move. But then he realized that there were an awful lot of eyes on them and understood Trevor's misconception that it had something to do with him, rather than with House himself, even if it was irrational. There were times when Trevor still froze up in public whenever too many people looked his way, his guard coming up due to the stilted way he walked and the attention it could attract. House opted to just let the kid hold his hand and glanced at Erika to see if she had noticed.

She was staring at their interlocked hands and then she looked tenderly at Trevor before her eyes shifted to House, who she knew pretended he was not big on handholding, despite the times he'd allowed her to hold his. She smiled and he rolled his eyes.

House expelled his breath before leading the way towards the exit, Erika on one side, Trevor on his other.

They'd only made it about ten yards before House felt her eyes on him and looked to see Cuddy watching him from the Clinic. His defenses rose immediately and as he stared at her, his expression hardened as his mind taunted him with how she'd told everyone here his daughter was dead. He reached for Erika and his arm came up protectively around her and Evie, the need to protect his daughter strong within him.

* * *

Cuddy saw House come into her line of sight from the direction of the elevators. Her heart stopped in her chest as her eyes swept over his features, too focused on his face to notice the two people accompanying him. And then she did notice the little boy who was holding House's hand as if his life depended on it. She stared at him in surprise before returning her eyes to House probingly and when she did, his eyes met hers. She rocked unstably on her feet, feeling the air charge up between them. But then she saw his eyes darken and cringed at the mutinous expression he shot her, feeling like she'd been slapped.

She wanted to look away, but she was powerless to. He was clearly furious with her. He obviously hated the very sight of her now. But Cuddy couldn't look away from him regardless, even if it made her feel faint.

And then his arm came up around a woman next to him. A very attractive woman who was wearing his jacket and who smiled immediately at his action. And in that moment, Cuddy realized she had never hated anyone more than she did this woman who stood where she herself ought to be, who House cared enough for to make such a public gesture of affection towards while in PPTH of all places. It was like an act of violence, his bringing another woman here, an act of treason really, being that this was almost hallowed grounds to everything they had once shared. And for that, she hated the woman all the more.

* * *

Erika smiled widely at how House had placed his arm back around her, unaware of House's expression as she thought of how he had told her to make him look good. She looked down to make sure Evie was safely covered as House preferred for her to be and then her eyes came back up and swept the room to see if people were really watching them, trying to gauge if anyone even cared that House was here with an unknown woman.

And in looking about, her eyes met up with a woman staring at them through the glass across the room. They were approaching the exit door and her body turned with House's as they headed for it, but her face didn't follow, not breaking eye contact with the woman. And then her smile faltered because she realized the woman was not looking at House but at her. And the expression on her face said she'd rather run her down with a car than see her with him.

The door opened as a couple entered the hospital and House released Trevor's hand to allow him to exit while he caught the door and let Erika step through ahead of him, his arm moving to rest on her back. He followed them out, not looking back, not allowing himself to.

The anger in his gut told him he shouldn't have come. It was too soon to be here; too soon to see Cuddy. But it was too late to change his decision. The only thing he could do was walk away from what hadn't been one of his better judgments, although admittedly, he knew it could have gone much worse.

Erika turned around to face him, licking her lips uncertainly as her eyes assessed him.

He met her gaze and then his icy countenance thawed as he released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. "You okay?" he couldn't help asking.

She nodded, her expression one of confusion. "What just happened?" she asked finally, walking beside him.

House looked up at the darkened sky, his breath fogging the air before him. His jaw clenched but he dismissively replied, "Nothing."

Erika grabbed his arm, pulling him to a stop as Trevor waited for them to catch up, not understanding the hold up. "Talk to me," she murmured.

He shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it right now," House replied somberly.

Erika frowned but asked, "Who was she?"

House's eyes glanced down at his jacket, making certain Evie was still protected before they locked back on hers. "Who?" he asked, feigning obliviousness.

"The woman who looked like she'd be only too happy to murder me for being there with you," Erika dryly replied, giving his arm a tug.

That did make House smile slightly. "You thought she was jealous?" he inquired, alternating between curious and surprised.

She rolled her eyes. "Jealous would be an understatement," she sarcastically retorted.

House's shoulders relaxed from the tension that had built up there.

"Are you guys coming?" Trevor demanded. "It's freezing out here!"

"We should go," House prompted in agreement. "His legs will stiffen up if he's forced to stand in one spot waiting for us much longer. And I'm not all that warm myself. It's cold out."

"You're still going to answer my question," she informed him, leaving no room for argument though she started moving for the car then.

House grunted and hit the button on his key fob so that Trevor, who was already next to the car, could get in. Then House opened Erika's door for her so that she could slide in before he took Evie from her to tuck her safely into her car seat once more.

* * *

Cuddy was sitting behind her desk, staring off into space when Wilson came in to have her sign off on his patient's treatment. He studied her for a moment but then approached and handed her the file, hoping she was in the dark about House having been there. Her lack of reaction made him think she must be.

"Can you sign off on Mr. Steinbeck's treatment? He changed his mind and requested that we give the alternative medication a shot, despite the long odds," he explained.

She took the file wordlessly, flipping it open to review it before initialing the paperwork as requested.

"Thanks," Wilson replied, reaching for the file as she held it out for him.

But Cuddy did not immediately release it and his eyes shifted from the file to her face questioningly.

"Who is she?" Cuddy asked softly, unable to hold the question back.

"Who?" he asked, 99% certain he knew exactly who she was referring to but not about to tell her. He was surprised though that she was asking so calmly. Wilson had been certain she'd pitch a fit at finding House here at PPTH today. Instead she seemed to only have a problem that House was accompanied by a woman. That… kind of concerned him though.

"The woman who was with him," she mumbled, her eyes on the file in her hand rather than Wilson's face.

"With who?" he queried, his eyebrows raised as he realized he was intent upon challenging her to utter his name.

She immediately backed down, unable to do it. Releasing the file, she focused down on her desk before saying, "Forget I asked."

But suddenly Wilson didn't want to. Somewhat frustrated now, he demanded, "Say his name Cuddy. Say it."

Her eyes flew up to meet his and she shook her head adamantly. "No," she whispered. "I won't."

"You're a coward," he flatly said then, irritated with her.

She stared at him as he turned and headed for the door. But Wilson stopped in the doorway, turning around to meet her gaze. "Just because you didn't want him, doesn't mean someone else won't, Cuddy," he sharply intoned, scowling at her before pulling the door open and walking out.

Cuddy watched him go, his worded stab penetrating deep as the knife in her chest twisted violently.

* * *

The car ride home was a quiet one being that even Trevor was aware of the somber mood hovering in the air between his mom and House in the front seat. House pulled up into his driveway and Erika got out, opening the back door to unbuckle Evie. House watched her, vaguely amused when she walked away with Trevor in the direction of her own house rather than his, taking his daughter with her.

Rolling his eyes he grabbed Evie's diaper bag, knowing she'd be awake and demanding a bottle shortly. Then he followed after them, closing the door to her house behind him.

"Trevor, I need you to take your backpack upstairs and start on your math homework while I get dinner underway," Erika told her son, waiting until he nodded and grabbed it to carry it upstairs before she headed for the kitchen.

House followed her after fishing out a bottle and some formula. She looked at him pointedly before passing him the baby. Then she opened her fridge to remove the chicken enchiladas she'd made the day before so that she could heat them in the oven.

Evie stirred in his arms, her rosy cheek rubbing against his shirt until she lifted her head to blearily look up at him. He smiled tenderly and adjusted her in his arms so that he had a hand free to make her bottle with.

Erika turned the oven on to preheat it before turning back to House. She waited until he had the bottle ready and in Evie's mouth to ask the question she'd had on her mind the whole way home. "She's Evie's mother, isn't she?"

House slowly raised his eyes to her, his lips thinning out as he pressed them together where he stood in the middle of her kitchen.

"Isn't she?" she repeated evenly. The woman had been far enough away that she hadn't connected her looks to Evie immediately. But when combined with the woman's expression and intensity, it had fit.

"That was my boss," he said instead, looking at the wall across from him rather than at her. "My ex-boss," he amended.

"House," Erika said softly, walking to him to place a hand on his shoulder. "Is she also Evie's mother?"

"No," he muttered, shaking his head. "She's chosen not to be."

Erika's expression melted completely as she came alongside him and wrapped her arms around him and the baby from the side, Erika's face upon his shoulder, her chin settling inches above Evie's head where she lay in the crook of his arm.

The baby tilted her head back to look up at her, her little hands holding the bottle, half-covering House's hand as she drank. Erika smiled at the baby, watching her cheeks go in and out gently as she sucked until Evie lost interest in Erika and her head went back down to concentrate completely on her bottle. Erika sighed but didn't release House from her hold, her left arm wrapped around the baby and hand placed on his arm, her right around his back and upon his waist. House stood motionless, not bothering to shrug her off as he stared at his daughter in his arms.

"You never talk about her with me," Erika tentatively broached. "Not really."

"There's nothing to talk about," he replied without emotion. "It is what it is. Talking about it changes nothing."

"Talking about it means feeling things," she intuitively acknowledged. "And you're scared to feel."

"I don't want to feel," he disagreed adamantly. "I'm past feeling. I've felt enough."

"House…" she began, but he interrupted.

"I need to sit down," he mumbled, half-heartedly shrugging her off.

She released him and went back to the oven, placing the enchiladas inside now that the temperature was up before setting the timer and tracking him down where he sat in her living room.

House hadn't sat on the couch but had chosen a chair instead. He never sat in that chair. He always chose the couch and then she'd always sit next to him. That made her fairly certain it was meant to keep her from sitting too close to him now. But Erika didn't care and perched on the armrest of his chair, causing him to roll his eyes in irritation.

She laughed softly and then asked, "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

House opened his mouth to say he did and she pressed a finger to his lips before he could. "Think about it first," she instructed, taking her finger back a moment later before she got to her feet and went into the kitchen to set the table for the three of them.

Erika really wasn't a Coke drinker but that was always what House had in his fridge so it had become habit to drink it with him, to the point where she kept her own fridge stocked with his beverage of choice. She opened the fridge door and took out a can for him, carrying it back into the living room with her before popping the tab and handing it to him.

House smiled, not because she'd brought him a pop but because she'd opened it for him like he was a little kid in need of her assistance.

"I'm going to go check on Trevor. You're staying to have dinner with us. I did promise to feed you if you came along to Trevor's chess match," she said easily before slipping back out of the room to head upstairs.

House rubbed a hand over his face and then wondered if there really was any point in ever talking about Cuddy with anyone again. He'd met with Nolan only a couple times due to the long drive, generally meeting up somewhere between his house and Mayfield for dinner rather than an actual appointment. He'd talked, but more about the circumstances than about his feelings regarding them. Nolan had pressed but House had never actually opened up. He had no desire to. He still didn't. It wasn't that Mayfield hadn't taught him the benefits of sharing. It was just that Cuddy was a different story entirely. Part of him had buried her within over the course of the last few months and had no interest in digging her up again. Talking about his feelings regarding fatherhood and Evie were a lot easier to delve into.

Evie finished the bottle and released it, squirming a little in his arms. He set the bottle on the floor and burped her before getting up to retrieve her blanket from the diaper bag, spreading it out on the ground so that he could place her on it with a toy or two. She had gotten much better at grasping onto things in recent weeks and was even beginning to imitate sounds. Evie hadn't yet successfully conquered "da-da," but she was close. And even though he knew she had no idea what it meant, House couldn't pretend that it didn't affect him.

Erika reentered the room and sat down on the floor next to the baby, shaking Evie's stuffed frog in front of her as she started to kick her legs and coo, her attention intently upon the frog, eyes wide. Erika smiled and then looked up at him, noticing his melancholy.

"I promise I'm a good listener," she softly told him. "And I'm not very judgmental, either."

House pursed his lips, the corner of his mouth raising slightly. Finally he nodded and cleared his throat to say, "She was with someone else. They were supposed to get married in February of last year. But it fell through around Christmas time and… I might have had something to do with it," he acknowledged with a quirked smile before sobering. "But I… loved her and I didn't want her to marry him. A few days later she was pissed off at me over her relationship falling through and I was working on a case at work that I couldn't figure out without doing the tests she was refusing to let me do. I did them anyway and she showed up at my apartment afterwards. She yelled, I yelled; then she slapped me. But before I could even react, she was all over me."

Erika looked at him in surprise. "Then she had feelings for you too?" she inquired.

House shook his head. "No. It was just chemistry. We've always had chemistry."

Erika raised an eyebrow. "How often had this happened before?"

"It hadn't," House replied in surprise that she'd assume it had.

"You'd never had sex with her before?" she asked.

"Well once, but that was twenty some years ago," he muttered.

Now that was interesting, Erika thought to herself. He obviously had some kind of history with his boss. What had he told her when talking about her past knowledge of James and why she should date him? History mattered? "So how did this 'chemistry' normally reveal itself?" she inquired instead.

"Banter, looks, eye sex," he threw in with a laugh.

She slapped a hand to her face and shook her head. "But for whatever reason, she was able to avoid throwing herself at you before this?"

House's lips pursed as he tried to contain a smile. "Guess so," he finally replied.

"Okay," she said, "What happened then?"

"I took things into the bedroom. The phone rang in the middle of the night and I answered. I was out of it and didn't realize it was her cell phone and not mine. It turned out to be the other guy and she accused me of answering on purpose. I got defensive. She yelled. I kicked her out," he briefly outlined.

"But after the sex, she stayed? She didn't leave right away?" Erika asked, an inquisitive expression on her face.

House shrugged. "Until the phone call she did."

"Then that rules out chemistry alone. Because granted, I haven't been out there in the real world in ages, but who stays around after sex if it's just about sex?" she asked skeptically.

House stared at her for a moment. He knew she had a point. And then Erika smiled because she knew he knew that she had a point.

"So Evie was conceived that night?" she clarified, looking at the baby next to her and smoothing her hair back as her feet kicked and she started babbling, "Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba."

"She was," House acknowledged softly.

"And when she realized she was pregnant?" Erika asked, turning back to House.

"She thought she'd miscarry," he replied, his eyes on Evie.

"And when she didn't?" she pressed.

House paused and exhaled heavily. "Cuddy wasn't the same woman anymore. She'd changed. She desperately wanted a baby before this happened. And then she didn't. Or she didn't want one if it was mine. I… I couldn't let her have an abortion. I wanted Evie. And I thought if she ever came back to her senses, how would she ever survive the guilt of knowing she'd taken her daughter's life? So I told her I'd sue and make a big public spectacle of the situation unless she agreed to carry the pregnancy to term. She accepted those terms with the understanding that I'd take the baby when she was born and walk away, from PPTH and from her. And that's what I did," he concluded.

"And that's why you didn't want to go there today," Erika stated.

"I didn't want to go there today because I had Evie with," he explained. "And because I knew if I saw her, I'd be pissed."

"You're mad because she made you leave?" she asked non-judgmentally.

"No. I'm mad because in November when she went back to work, she told everyone that the baby was stillborn," he huffed angrily.

"I'm sorry we talked you into going there," she gently said. "If I'd have known…"

House shrugged and strangely enough, he smiled. "Eh, it's over with. And besides, you got a date out of the deal."

Erika rolled her eyes but returned his smile, knowing that he wanted to move away from talking about what had happened. "I'm glad you think that's compensation for your suffering," she dryly remarked.

House shook his feet and got out of the chair to lean down and pick Evie up, who immediately broke into a wide smile and batted at his face with her hand as he brought her close to peck her cheek. "No, this is my compensation," he replied, burying his face in Evie's neck and causing her to squirm and giggle.

Erika sighed and then smiled. "You hungry?" she asked, getting to her feet.

"Starving," he admitted.

"Good," she replied, her hand stroking his bicep momentarily as she passed by on her way to the kitchen.

"Hey Erika?" House called to her.

"Yeah?" she responded, pausing in the doorway to glance back at him.

"Thanks," he said, causing her to smile up until the moment he quipped, "It's nice to see a woman who knows her place is in the kitchen."

Erika scoffed but continued on her way, content with the fact that he had shared more than she'd expected him to and that despite his words, he really appreciated her friendship, just as she did his.

* * *

Cuddy opened the front door of her house and stepped inside, completely in her own world.

"Hey honey," Evelyn greeted when she heard her come in. Checking to make sure Rachel was securely belted into her booster seat, she then headed for the foyer.

"Dinner's ready," she said to her daughter.

But Cuddy didn't hear a word she said. She loosened her scarf from around her neck and took it off before removing her coat, mechanically hanging them up.

"Honey?" Evelyn asked, watching her daughter concernedly. "We were just about to start dinner if you're hungry."

Cuddy startled and then looked up at her mother. "Huh?" she asked.

Evelyn came forward and placed the back of her hand against Cuddy's forehead checking to see if she was sick. She frowned and said, "You don't have a temperature but you're awful pale. Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," she sighed, heading for her bedroom after kicking off her shoes.

"Aren't you going to come eat with Rachel and I?" Evelyn called after her.

"Sorry mom. I'm just not hungry," she replied softly without looking back.

Evelyn stared after her fretfully and then turned to go feed Rachel, intending to check on her daughter shortly thereafter.

* * *

Cuddy lay curled up on her bed, her knees drawn up. She couldn't stop thinking of him. She couldn't stop picturing him standing there with another woman at his side.

Cuddy wondered how many times she'd stood with him in the lobby at PPTH, talking, fighting, bickering, bantering, and… flirting. Today he'd stood there with another woman in her place. And she ached at the very thought of it.

She didn't have any claim on him. She didn't even want him. Or did she? Because what other explanation was there for how much it had cost her to see him with another woman? A woman who looked happy to be there with him and who made Cuddy want to kick her teeth out with her favorite pair of five-inch heels in the box up on the top shelf of her closet that she only took down for special occasions.

Images of her stormy history with House flooded through her mind but her thoughts stopped upon the memory of House coming to her house the day she'd lost Joy. Her eyes closed involuntarily and her fingers came up to press lightly against her lips as she lost herself in the memory of what it had been to have him kiss her after the pain and anguish of that day, of how she'd savored the taste of coffee on his tongue as he poured himself into kissing her while she eagerly drank life back in from his lips. He'd walked away then, not allowing it to go any farther, not wanting to take advantage. And she'd allowed him to go, though she'd been desperate for him, desperate for his hands to wander beneath her clothes and across her heated flesh, stroking and soothing every part of her.

What had she been thinking?! Why had she gone to him the next day and pretended like it was less than it was? That she'd only responded because she'd been vulnerable and he had only kissed her out of compassion? What did she now have to show for a lifetime worth of memories of him? Nothing. She'd lost him. Worse, she'd pushed him away. And another woman had come to take her place, just as Wilson had said. Another woman who probably knew what it was like to kiss him, taste him, even… make love to him.

Cuddy began to cry, wondering if she'd lost the only love worth fighting for.

-----

"_**Don't know what to do anymore  
I've lost the only love worth fighting for  
And I'll drown in my tear-storming sea  
That would show you**_

_**That would make you**_ _**hurt like me **_

_**All the same  
I don't want mudslinging games  
It's just a shame  
To let you walk away**_

_**Is there a chance?  
A fragment of light**_

_**At the end of the tunnel?  
A reason to fight?  
Is there a chance you may change your mind?  
Or are we ashes and wine? **_

_**Don't know if our fate's already sealed  
This day's a spinning circus on a wheel  
I'm ill with the thought of your kiss  
Coffee-laced intoxicating on her lips**_

_**Shut it out  
I've got no claim on you now  
Not allowed to wear your freedom down, no**_

_**Is there a chance?  
A fragment of light**_

_**At the end of the tunnel?  
A reason to fight?  
Is there a chance you may change your mind?  
Or are we ashes and wine? **_

_**And I'll tear myself away  
'Cause if that is what you need  
There is nothing left to say  
But**_

_**Is there a chance?  
A fragment of light**_

_**At the end of the tunnel?  
A reason to fight?  
Is there a chance you may change your mind?  
Or are we ashes and wine?  
The day's still ashes and wine  
Or are we ashes?"**_

* * *

Song: "Ashes & Wine" (A Fine Frenzy)


	50. Wedding Day

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Sorry this update is late!! I just got on! Hope you enjoy! We're... taking a little... sidetrip! :) )_

* * *

Evelyn heard her daughter crying as she made her way down the hallway and sighed worriedly, afraid that she'd made a mistake in leaving back in December when Lisa had asked her to. She stopped in Rachel's room and grabbed some toys for the little girl before continuing on with her into her daughter's bedroom, depositing them on the floor before setting Rachel down to go to her daughter's side.

Evelyn sank down on the bed next to her, her hand settling on Cuddy's arm where she lay curled up facing away from her. "Baby, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" she murmured softly, stroking her skin soothingly.

Cuddy kept crying, unable to answer, and Evelyn's heart broke at the sight of her daughter's tear-streaked expression when she leaned in to try and make eye contact.

"Honey, talk to me," she pleaded.

"I've lost him," Cuddy choked out around the lump in her throat. "I've lost him and there's nothing I can do about it."

Evelyn stared wide-eyed at her daughter, not sure if she was talking about Lucas or about Greg, though she was almost positive what the answer to her unspoken question would be. How could it not be Greg after all that the two of them had been through?

"Who did you lose?" she asked gently, brushing Cuddy's hair back from her face with her free hand and then tenderly wiping the tears from her cheek with the back of her fingers.

But Cuddy didn't say and Evelyn pursed her lips before murmuring, "Lucas?"

"No," Cuddy huffily stated, sitting up on the bed and frowning at her mother.

Evelyn smiled, glad to hear it. "Greg?" she inquired next, reaching for a tissue beside the bed and holding it to her daughter's nose to blow as if she was three again.

Cuddy blew but then laughed hoarsely at the absurdity of what her mother was doing and took the tissue from her, somewhat mortified.

Evelyn looked at her in relief and smiled. "Are you going to tell me why you're crying?" she asked.

Cuddy's face crumpled once more and suddenly she leaned towards her mother, burrowing her face into her mom's shoulder.

"Honey," Evelyn declared in confusion. "What is going on?"

"He's moved on. He's with someone new," she mumbled against her mom's collarbone.

Evelyn huffed and shook her head. "Now that's just ridiculous!" she told her sternly.

"It's true," Cuddy replied tearfully, her head bobbing up and down against her mother's shoulder. "He came by PPTH today and there was a woman with him."

"I'm sure you misunderstood the situation," she reassured her, her hands now rubbing circles on her daughter's back through her shirt. "Did you talk to him?"

"He hates me," she whispered, her tears drying up.

"Honey!" she admonished. "He loves you!"

"Not anymore," Cuddy replied faintly, sniffing. "He hates me. I saw it in his face when he looked at me from across the room."

"I…" Evelyn didn't even know what to make of that comment. "Go to him," she finally urged. "Go talk to him."

Cuddy pulled away, climbing off the bed a moment later, her mother staring at her. "I'm going to take a shower," she murmured.

"But Lisa!" Evelyn declared in exasperation.

Cuddy just shook her head and bent down to press a kiss to Rachel's brow before continuing to her private bathroom.

Evelyn watched her go in confusion, wondering what in the world was going on.

* * *

Cuddy stood under the showerhead, her eyes closed, allowing the spray to wash over her. She didn't know where her emotional outburst had come from but she wanted to wash it away and move forward as House had clearly managed to do. Whatever her mother believed, she was wrong. And Cuddy was out of second chances. House had moved on to a new life and there was no place for her there.

She had to acknowledge, even if only to herself, that there was another reason why it was time to move on and past the history they shared. Even if she wanted House, too much had happened since that night when he'd kissed her, too much had changed; they'd changed. And she couldn't accept him and every part of him anymore than he'd be able to accept her. Almost a year ago now, she'd made her decision. And some decisions there were no going back on.

* * *

Evelyn looked up from where she sat reading a book to Rachel, her eyes scanning her daughter's face as she entered the living room in her bathrobe, appearing ready for bed. Evelyn bit her lip but looked back down when Rachel turned the page and continued to read.

When her mother put the book aside, Cuddy came over and took her daughter from her mother's lap. "Come on Rachel," she murmured. "It's time to get ready for bed."

Evelyn gave Rachel a kiss, wished her good night, and watched them go. She sat there lost in thought until Lisa passed by, heading for the kitchen. Then she got up to follow her. Leaning against the entryway into the kitchen, she stared at her daughter in a quandary and moistened her lips before asking, "What are you going to do?"

"About what?" Cuddy asked, heating up some water to make herself a cup of tea.

Frustrated, Evelyn closed her eyes and then shook her head slightly before reopening them. "Are you going to go to him?" she asked pointedly.

"To whom?" she replied, feigning ignorance.

Evelyn was slowly losing patience. "Lisa," she muttered warningly.

"I'm not going to anyone," Cuddy said finally, shooting a look her mother's way before reaching into the cabinet to take out a mug. "Do you want some tea?"

"No," her mother declared, her hands settling on her hips. "Why do you have to be so stubborn?" she demanded then. "And how can you believe that he doesn't love you?"

Cuddy stilled but offered no response, her jaw tightening where she stood near the counter.

But Evelyn had reached her limit. She'd spent several months refraining from speaking her mind but that was at an end right now. "I don't think you get it," she began crossly. "He's protected you from yourself. He's walked away just as you asked him to. He's come to your aid when you needed him. He's even gone to the trouble of calling me to make sure that you had someone with you, looking after both you and Rachel when you couldn't do it yourself. And he's out there right now raising a daughter who is just as much yours as she is his, asking nothing of you at all. So please explain to me how you can reasonably justify believing he doesn't love you and not go after him to make things right!"

Rather than replying, Cuddy straightened and released the countertop she'd clenched her hands around in the midst of her mother's outburst and turned off the burner before silently walking around her mother and out of the kitchen.

Evelyn was too worked up to go after her. Instead she hit the light off and blew out a breath before heading upstairs to go to bed, praying her daughter would do some serious soul-searching and finally come to her senses.

* * *

February 1st, 2011

Evelyn came down the next morning to find Lisa had already left the house to go into work. She sighed wearily, not having slept all that great. Sighing, she checked on Rachel who was still sleeping and then went to get breakfast ready, not knowing what to make of the situation.

Rachel came into the kitchen about ten minutes later, rubbing her eyes sleepily with one hand while clutching her baby doll from House in the other. Evelyn smiled and reached for her, lifting her up and cuddling with her a moment. "How'd you sleep darling?" she murmured. "Are you hungry?"

Rachel tucked her head into her grandma's neck but nodded, yawning.

Evelyn set her down in her booster seat and placed her baby doll on the chair next to her. She then poured pancake batter on the griddle before cracking some eggs in a bowl, adding milk and cheese to make scrambled eggs.

"Maybe grandma will call daddy and see if we can visit tonight," she suggested. "Would you like that?"

Rachel nodded. "Cookies," she murmured.

"Yes, he gives you cookies, doesn't he?" she agreed with a laugh.

Rachel nodded solemnly, cookies something she took very seriously.

* * *

Cuddy poured herself into her work, half wishing she hadn't taken the rest of the week off and half wishing she could just take off for a few days and get away. She was not all that eager to be stuck with her mother 24/7 and she certainly didn't want to deal with anything her mother felt she needed to hear.

She made her way to Kate's office and entered after Linda announced her arrival.

Kate looked up from the notes she was studying and smiled. "Hey," she greeted. "Have a seat."

Cuddy sat down and yawned tiredly before apologizing.

"You look tired," Kate acknowledged.

Cuddy smiled. "Long day," she proffered her excuse.

Kate nodded. "I imagine you have a lot to get done before you take time off, huh?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Are you looking forward to a few days away from the office?" Kate inquired.

Cuddy sighed heavily, but didn't respond immediately.

"No?" she asked in surprise. "Why not?"

Cuddy didn't want to go into it but she found herself wryly asking, "Any tips on how to tell my mother a subject is not open to discussion?"

"What does she want to talk about?" Kate queried, admittedly interested.

Cuddy thought about changing subjects but she did sort of want to talk about it. "She wants to talk about Henry."

Kate raised an eyebrow and waited for Cuddy to continue.

She looked away, staring off into space before glancing down at her hands in her lap and murmuring, "He was here yesterday."

"At Princeton-Plainsboro?" Kate clarified.

Cuddy nodded. "I heard a nurse talking about having seen him."

""Did you see him?" Kate asked, leaning towards her.

"I… saw him on his way back out," she replied quietly.

"Did he see you? Did you talk?" Kate inquired, studying Cuddy's expression.

"We didn't talk but yes, he saw me," she voiced almost in a whisper.

Kate remained silent for a moment, waiting as Cuddy was obviously replaying the memory in her head.

She looked up and met Kate's gaze then. "He came from the direction of the elevators and I saw him before he saw me, but then I was watching for him. And when House looked up at me, I could tell that he hates me now," she admitted, her expression pained.

Kate's forehead wrinkled in confusion and then repeated, "House? As in Dr. House, the one who treated me via internet when I broke my toe while stationed at the South Pole?"

Cuddy froze in horror that after all this time of being so careful, she'd suddenly slipped up.

Recognition dawned on Kate. "Henry is House?" she asked, thoroughly thrown for a loop.

Cuddy closed her eyes tightly before exhaling. Reluctantly she nodded.

Kate didn't say anything, waiting for Cuddy to say something or at least establish some eye contact. She replayed everything Cuddy had told her and pieces to the puzzle began to fit together, though there were still so many holes to fill in. She wondered if this explained why he no longer worked here. She'd gone by his office shortly after returning to PPTH to say hi, but his office was vacant and she'd been told he wasn't working at the hospital anymore. Kate wasn't sure there was another person on earth "Henry" could have been that would have made her more curious than she was now, knowing it was Greg House they'd been talking about all this time.

"Do you want me to pretend I don't know who Henry is?" she queried when Lisa still hadn't opened her eyes five minutes later.

Cuddy rubbed her face with a hand but opened her eyes and sighed once more. "No," she finally mumbled, shaking her head.

Kate nodded and then summed up what Lisa had told her moments before. "So yesterday House came to the hospital and you saw him in the lobby when he was leaving. He looked at you in a way that caused you to conclude that he was upset with you."

"Not upset. That he hates me," she corrected.

"And how did that make you feel? How did you react?"

"I thought I'd be angry with him for being at PPTH, but when I heard he was here, all I wanted was to… see him again," Cuddy murmured sadly. "And then I did and… he looked at me. He hates me. And there's nothing I can do about it. I need to just move on. He's moved on. It's time I did too."

"Is he not supposed to be at PPTH?" Kate asked, a little stunned by that disclosure.

"He agreed to not be a part of any dimension of my life, including the hospital," she murmured only.

"Why would he agree to that?" Kate inquired without inflecting emotion into the question.

"I… That's not something I can talk about," Cuddy replied, her eyes downcast and studying the carpet.

"You can't talk about it or you don't want to talk about it?" Kate tried to clarify.

"Not yet," was Cuddy's only reply.

Kate nodded and queried, "Is having to leave PPTH part of why you believe he hates you?"

Cuddy looked up and mumbled, "I don't know."

"Lisa, how do you feel about him?" she probed then.

Cuddy bit her lip but it was no help in stopping the tears that started coursing down her cheeks. "I don't know. I don't know," she tearfully declared. "I just… He was here and I wanted to see him. Then I saw him and he hated me and there was a little boy beside him holding his hand and… House put his arm around a woman who was wearing his jacket and…" She broke off, unable to continue.

"How did that make you feel?" Kate prompted.

Cuddy used a finger to brush aside a few tears that were running down her cheeks. "I wanted to wipe the smile off her face," she admitted. "She was standing there where I… Where I…."

"Where you what?" Kate gently pushed.

"She was standing there where I should be," Cuddy finished breathily.

Kate looked at her sympathetically. "You were jealous," she stated simply.

Cuddy stared at her but finally nodded before looking away.

"You want to be with him," she continued.

Cuddy tilted her face to the side and met Kate's gaze, her mouth trembling. "I… can't though. So… I need you to tell me how to move on and where I go from here."

To say Kate was amazed by all she'd learned in a matter of minutes would have been an understatement. And for once it seemed Lisa was making some real progress not just in working through things but in opening up and being honest about what she wanted. "I think we first need to figure out exactly what you feel for him," she said. "You want to be with him. Do you love him?"

"I… I don't know. I can't… can't allow myself to. Loving him in med school was enough of a mistake. He left me and I… I was broken. And all these years… Even when I thought we were going somewhere, he screwed it up. And then he was gone and I moved on. When I had, he came back and wanted to be with me but… it was too late. I was with Lucas and I couldn't risk my one chance at happiness to give him another opportunity to break my heart," she finished, reaching for a tissue to blow her nose.

"Why did you sleep with him?" Kate asked then.

"Because I was angry and distraught and I needed to burn off some steam," Cuddy immediately replied.

"Those are the only reasons?" Kate pointedly asked.

Cuddy closed her eyes and released her breath.

Time crept by before she finally whispered, "No. I wanted to. I wanted to experience what it was to be with him again. I wanted to indulge myself in the chemistry between us one last time. Have one more memory of what it had been like in med school to be all wrapped up in him. And then I told myself I'd be free from his hold and I'd be able to move on with Lucas."

Kate didn't say anything for quite some time. Finally she said, "Maybe we need to go back to the beginning and work through everything from the start."

Cuddy shook her head. "No. I don't want to. I just want to be done with this. Just tell me how to move on and I will."

"Lisa," she gently began. "Some things don't happen overnight. You've clearly had feelings for him for more than twenty years. You need to work through them. I can help you with that."

"It'll take too long. I can't wait any longer. I need to just move on," she argued.

"How do you think you can accomplish that?" Kate asked.

"I don't know. But I'll find a way," Cuddy murmured, wiping her face one last time before getting to her feet and heading for the door.

Kate watched her go but didn't try to stop her. She couldn't cut off her escape every time she ran. Sometimes people had to realize on their own that not everything had an easy solution to it and you couldn't turn off feelings like you did a lightbulb, though Kate would be the first person to admit right now that Lisa was a woman in need of a few more lightbulbs being turned on, if only to help her see what she was so desperately struggling to bury in the dark, even if Kate was not convinced she understood enough of the situation to know just what Cuddy wanted hidden from the light.

* * *

House was in the middle of a case, working with a most uncooperative patient who he'd sent Cameron down to see and outline their game plan to. His phone went off and he glanced at it, smiling for the first time since dropping Evie off in the daycare upon seeing Evelyn's number flashing there.

"Hey Grandma Cuddles," he greeted as he reclined back in his chair.

"Hi Greg," she replied, smiling into the phone. "Rachel and I were wondering if we could come over tonight when you get off work."

House glanced at his watch and then said, "Yeah. Why don't you come over around 5:30?"

"Sounds great, dear. We'll see you and Evie then," she responded.

"I'll be looking forward to it," he admitted honestly before disconnecting the call.

Cameron came into the office right then and sighed. "He's claustrophobic," she informed him. "I can't talk him into going for an MRI."

"So knock him unconscious," he instructed with an eye roll.

"House," she scolded. "At least try to talk to him first."

"Oh, for Pete's sake!" House muttered, shoving his chair back to get to his feet and tuck his cell phone into his pocket before walking past her out the door.

Cameron bit her lip but followed after him, hoping he'd at least try to cajole the patient into the procedure before he stuck him with a needle and forced him. She knew better. But she could hope, couldn't she?

* * *

House pulled his car into the driveway and parked in the garage before climbing out to open the backseat door. He looked up at the sound of a car and smiled as Evelyn's car came into view and she stopped. He returned his gaze to Evie and unbuckled her, lifting her out of her car seat before shutting the door.

Evelyn threw her door open then and came running, practically squealing as she reached eagerly for the baby she hadn't seen in almost two months now.

"My little grandbaby," she cooed happily.

House laughed and passed Evie to her before heading to her car to free Rachel from her restraints and scoop her out. "Hey kid," he murmured to her as she smiled happily at him. He couldn't deny to himself that he'd missed the rugrat.

"Need my baby," she said quite seriously before he could shut the door.

Reaching back in, he grabbed the doll he'd bought her for her birthday from beside her car seat and then carried her in Evelyn and Evie's direction.

"How long are you in town for?" he asked as he opened the door to the house to get everyone in from the cold before shutting the garage door.

"Just this week," she admitted regretfully, stepping through the door ahead of him.

"I'm glad you could swing by," he said, following her.

"Me too," she acknowledged, smiling tenderly at him.

House set Rachel down and placed her baby doll on the floor nearby as he removed her coat while Evelyn removed Evie's snowsuit.

"Oh! She's getting so big!" she remarked, glancing at House before remembering she hadn't greeted him properly in her haste to see her grandbaby. She moved to him once Evie was free of her snowsuit and cupped his face to press a kiss to his cheek. "You look good," she said then.

"You don't look so bad yourself," he replied teasingly.

Evelyn smiled and House returned his attention to Rachel, who was pulling on his pant leg.

"Cookie?" she asked hopefully.

House rolled his eyes. "Is that all I'm good for?" he quipped.

Evelyn laughed but then objected with an "Of course not!"

House grabbed a box of cookies from the pantry and removed two to give to Rachel.

"She's getting big too," he remarked, shaking his head.

Rachel smiled and nodded in agreement, her mouth half-full of cookies and crumbs on her lips.

"Tell daddy how old you are, Rachel," Evelyn prompted her.

House shot a look at Evelyn, who ignored him and turned back to Rachel, who held up a hand and then moved her fingers until she had three up.

"One too many," Evelyn corrected, causing Rachel to take her other hand, pop the cookie it had contained into her mouth, and use it once it was free to place one finger down until she had just two fingers up.

"We're working at it," Evelyn said to House, sending a smile his way. "I'm not sure if it's the dexterity that's the issue or if she just wants to be older than she is."

"Kid, how old are you?" he directed at Evie, whose closed fists were pumping in the air. "Oh slam!" House said with a grimace. "Are you going to just take that Rachel?! Let your baby sister show you up like that?" he teased, reaching for her to tickle her mercilessly as she squirmed and giggled.

Evelyn shook her head and stared pointedly.

"Aw, come on," House cajoled Evelyn at the look she gave him. "A little sibling rivalry never killed anyone. Well, maybe Abel. But you'd know more about that than me."

She sighed dramatically but said, "I'm going to give Georgia a diaper change," as she headed out of the kitchen with the baby.

House picked Rachel up and set her on the counter next to him so that he could make a bottle for Evie.

"Anudder cookie?" she asked, batting her eyelashes at him.

House chuckled, his mouth twitching before he decided one more wouldn't hurt. He handed her another and pulled out a sippy cup from a drawer that they'd left at his house the last time Rachel was over. "Don't go anywhere," he instructed, giving her the evil eye.

She nodded solemnly and he limped over to the fridge to pull the milk out before returning to her side, filling the cup, and placing it in her hand. Lifting her up, he griped, "What do you weigh these days?!" and then set her on the floor before replacing the milk in the fridge and grabbing Evie's bottle.

Rachel reached for his hand and he looked at her warily but took her small hand in his large one anyway before heading for Evie's room with her. House paused in the doorway and Rachel released his hand to run over and check out Evie's toys, grabbing a look-around ball with a monkey inside.

"What are your plans while you're in town?" House asked as Evelyn rebuttoned Evie's outfit.

She glanced his way and shrugged. "I don't know. Lisa's taking the rest of the week off. She's even promised to have someone else on call and leave her phone off."

"That will last all of about a day," he skeptically remarked.

Evelyn smiled, lifting the baby up to her shoulder. "I'm hoping though to get some time in with Georgia as well."

"I don't have any plans this week," House replied, turning to head out of the room. "Other than Saturday night when Wilson and I are going to a monster truck event."

"Men and their toys," Evelyn said with a laugh, but she nodded as she followed him into the living room, Rachel bringing the ball with her behind them. "Maybe I can watch Georgia for you," she offered.

"I don't know how you'd work that," he admitted honestly, thinking Cuddy would definitely be suspicious over such a long absence. He figured Evelyn had only managed to come tonight because Cuddy was probably working late to make up for taking time off. "Besides, my neighbor already offered to take her. I'm sure you'll find other opportunities to be with her. Like I said, evenings, Saturday morning and afternoon, and all day Sunday, we're free."

Evelyn nodded in acceptance, knowing he was probably right. She sat down on the couch with Evie in her lap.

"Did you see she cut her first tooth?" House asked then, plopping down in the seat next to her.

"No!" she exclaimed, turning Evie around in her lap so that she could stare at the baby.

House reached for her face and cupped her little jaw before moving her lip down to show Evelyn. Evie's tongue kept coming out and covering it up as she attempted to latch onto House's finger, but Evelyn finally saw it and gasped as if it was the most amazing thing she'd ever seen, causing House to chuckle before he handed her Evie's bottle to feed her.

Rachel dropped the ball on the floor and ran to the piano, trying to pull herself up on the bench. House got to his feet and reached for her before sitting down with her on his lap so that she could reach the keys.

Rachel banged away and House sighed melodramatically before taking her hand and folding her fingers down so that only one was sticking out. Then he placed it on the keys and thought briefly before plunking out some children's songs with her. Rachel giggled, looking up at him adoringly. House felt something clench in his chest.

"Maybe a couple years from now you'll be teaching her to play," Evelyn said thoughtfully.

House didn't reply, thinking there was no point hoping for something that never would come into being. All the same, he played "Hot Cross Buns" and "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" with her anyway.

* * *

Cuddy pulled into her driveway, noticing her mother's car wasn't in the drive. Grabbing her briefcase, she headed within, thankful to be home alone. Eager to change into something comfortable, she made her way to her bedroom and set her briefcase aside to dig through her drawers. Remembering that her comfort jeans had just been washed and her mother had hung them in her walk-in closet, she opened the door and stepped inside to grab them. And then without meaning to her eyes fell on the garment bag containing her wedding dress she'd purchased back in mid-December over a year ago now, while her mother was in town.

For a moment she stopped and stared at it, clutching her jeans in one hand. Her gaze then went to the box on the floor underneath where it hung, containing everything she'd cut out from bridal magazines as having potential for her wedding, along with her mementos of her time with Lucas. Had it really been almost a year since the day her wedding was supposed to have taken place?

Ever since leaving Kate's office, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about how to move on from the past. But House wasn't the only part of her past she needed to free herself from. She needed to get rid of her fanciful ideas that marriage was ever going to be in her future.

Suddenly Cuddy decided there were a few items she could do without and made a decision. Her mother was in town to be with Rachel. She wasn't on call. Staying after what her mother had said the night before was almost a guarantee that House would come up again and again. Her mother was probably one of House's biggest advocates these days and now that she'd finally voiced her opinions, Cuddy wasn't so sure she'd be all that willing to stop. How would she move forward if her mother intended to dredge him up every moment?

Huffing out a breath, she grabbed the garment bag by the hanger and carried it out, dumping it on the bed. She stripped her skirt off and pulled on her comfort jeans before reaching for her favorite sweater. Then she went back into the closet, taking out the box of wedding preparations and mementos, heaving it up onto the bed as well. She smiled then, oddly at peace with her intention to escape and bail out on her mother and Rachel as well for a few days. After all, Rachel would be perfectly safe and her mother had taken over her care before.

Cuddy didn't know where she was headed or how she was going to spend the next several days, but she didn't care either. She just knew fate had presented her with an opportunity that she was going to take. Packing a small overnight bag, she ran out to her car and threw it within, along with the garment bag and box. She returned long enough to scrawl out a note, place it on the kitchen counter, and grab her purse and keys before heading out, closing the door behind her.

* * *

Evelyn set Evie down when she fell asleep and headed into the kitchen to grab her purse. Reaching within, she removed her camera and headed back out to take a few pictures of House and Rachel who were still plunking out nursery rhymes, filming them as well while House was unaware of her, too busy talking Rachel through the song as if she'd understand where the notes he was explaining to her were on the piano. But her little head was bobbing as he spoke, her expression serious.

"We should probably get going," Evelyn said regretfully after a moment.

House nodded understandingly and semi-reluctantly set Rachel down on the floor.

"Want to kiss your little sister goodbye?" Evelyn asked her.

Rachel nodded willingly and ran over to the couch where Evie was asleep.

"Be gentle because she's sleeping," Evelyn reminded her.

Rachel reached down and pressed a sweet kiss to Evie's cheek. "Bye baby," she murmured. "Sleep now."

House smiled at the two of them while Evelyn quickly took another shot before Rachel could run off.

"Call and let me know when you can swing by," House reminded her as he headed back for the kitchen to pick their coats up from where they'd left them, helping Rachel into hers and zipping her up before placing her doll into her arms.

"Kiss?" she asked when he turned away to help Evelyn into her coat.

He glanced back at her in surprise but picked her up and awkwardly placed a kiss on her cheek once Evelyn had her coat on.

Rachel scowled at him, not satisfied. "Kiss," she repeated, more demanding this time.

"I just gave you a kiss," House argued.

"She wants one on the lips," Evelyn informed him with a laugh at the face he made upon hearing that.

He rolled his eyes and sighed dramatically but gave her what she wanted.

"Bye daddy," she happily declared, throwing her arms across his chest in a hug.

House stood there motionless, only reacting when he heard Evelyn sniff and looked up to see her all teary-eyed.

"Oh brother," he muttered then, trying to brush it off despite how it tugged at him. "Don't start now."

Evelyn laughed softly but pressed a kiss to his cheek before reaching to take Rachel's hand and head for home.

It was only after Evelyn had pulled out of the driveway that she realized it had completely slipped her mind to ask him about the other day, his visit at PPTH, and the woman Lisa had seen him with. She'd just been too caught up in seeing Evie again after so long to think of it. She figured it would have to wait for now. Then she headed back to her daughter's, stopping briefly at the grocery store along the way.

* * *

A couple hours later House was in the middle of changing one of the nastiest diapers he'd ever seen to date when the phone began to ring. He rolled his eyes and Evie smiled, batting her hands in the air. He wasn't so sure it was cause and effect, as if she understood his sarcasm and irritated reactions to various triggers, but there did seem to be times when she was conscious of what he was feeling and it would appear that she definitely found him amusing.

The phone continued to ring and when the answering machine clicked on, whoever was calling hung up. House sighed, not really caring as he was a little occupied at the moment. He grabbed another handful of wipes and tried to clean Evie off. But he gave up when his cell phone immediately began to ring in his pocket. Throwing the wipes in the trash, he checked to make sure his hand was poop-free before digging for it with one hand still on Evie who was squirming. When he finally removed the ringing phone from his pocket, he didn't even bother to take time to see who was calling, just flipping it open.

"Yeah?" he replied automatically.

"Greg?" Evelyn's concerned voice began. "I stopped at the grocery store on my way home with Rachel and when I got back to the house, Lisa wasn't here. I thought maybe she was still working but she's not. There was a note on the kitchen counter so I know she's been here. It just says that she needs a few days away and that she'll be back eventually. Eventually! What does eventually mean?! I rang her cell phone but it's here at the house. I don't know what to do. I don't have any way to get a hold of her. And she didn't say how long she'll be gone. I… we had an argument yesterday. Or maybe it wasn't so much an argument as me getting after her. I know I didn't mention that earlier but… maybe I was too hard on her. What do I do? I'm really worried."

"Hold on a second."

House didn't wait for a response but set the phone down to finish cleaning Evie up and grab a diaper, putting it on before throwing her clothes in the hamper and the dirty diaper in the trash. Grabbing her pajamas, he quickly put them on her before lifting her up to his shoulder. Then he tucked the phone on his other shoulder and used his neck to hold it in place.

"Okay…" he finally muttered, huffing out a breath. "You yelled at her. She's gone. You don't know where she is," he repeated, focusing now on Evelyn and the reason why she had called.

"She's gone! Greg, I don't know what to do! Do I call the police?" she worriedly inquired.

House had no doubt she was wringing her hands over this. "Uh, no. She has to be gone 24 hours before you can file a missing person report," he calmly and objectively informed her, trying to keep her composed. "And anyway, she said she'd be back." He paused and then rubbed his face tiredly. "I don't know if I want to know but… what did you get after her for?"

Evelyn sighed. "You don't want to know," she finally replied as she picked Rachel up, knowing she probably needed to eat something again even if they had eaten a small meal at 4:30 before they'd left.

House was certain now that he DIDN'T want to know. He decided not to press. If Evelyn was hesitant to tell him, he was even more hesitant to dig. "Outside of whatever you said to her, how was she? How's she seemed when you've talked to her over the phone? You arrived this weekend, right? How was she then?" he asked, not really knowing what he could do to help her out, other than to work through Cuddy's mood and give Evelyn the opportunity to process, letting him know anything he needed to as she did so.

"I… she was fine during the weekend. I thought she was doing much better. She's been busy with work and with Rachel so I think that helps a lot," she replied. "But then yesterday she came home from work upset and not too long after that I yelled at her. So now I'm not sure what to think," Evelyn concluded.

Yesterday. When he'd stopped by PPTH. Erika had thought she was jealous but he knew that was ridiculous. Cuddy didn't want him. She wanted nothing to do with him. No, she had probably been upset because he'd dared to come by PPTH. Or maybe she'd guessed that the baby was with him and that had displeased her.

"What did she take with her? Have you noticed?" House threw out.

"I… Um, let me check." House heard her put the phone down and then a couple minutes later she was back. "Some of her clothes are missing. Not many but a few. Her laptop is in her room so she didn't take that. The only thing I can tell is her car. Oh, and her purse. Her purse is gone."

"You aren't going to like what I am about to tell you," he stated, knowing it was really all Evelyn could do at the moment.

She exhaled, preparing to be exasperated, but finally asked, "You're going to tell me to calm down and just be patient, aren't you?"

"She'll come back when she's ready," he agreed, heading to the kitchen with Evie to get another bottle ready before putting her down for the night. "If her note said she'd be back eventually, you're stuck trusting that. The police won't be of any use to you yet. And with the note, I'm not sure they'd do much anyway. Either she'll find a way to contact you, or she'll show up when she's ready to come home. I don't know what else I can tell you. You're kind of stuck waiting her anger or frustration or whatever she's feeling, out."

Evelyn sighed again before wearily saying, "Alright. I guess there's nothing else I can do. It's just not like her to be irresponsible. I feel like I'm dealing with teenage rebellion or something, except it would be more accurate to think of this as walking away from her responsibilities."

"Are you alright with Rachel?" House inquired, not wanting to get dragged into a discussion on what Cuddy's behavior classified as. The only reason he was talking about her at all was because Evelyn was upset and what could he do but try and help her out?

"Yeah, we'll be fine. I'm just worried. I don't feel good about how she just up and left," she added. "That's not like her."

"What is anymore?" he asked skeptically.

Evelyn didn't answer for a moment. Then she concernedly asked, "Greg, what if she doesn't take her medication?"

House sighed. "I don't know," he replied honestly. "But I have to assume that if she took it with, she'll remember to take it. She's been taking it all this time while you've been gone, right?"

"Yes, I think so," Evelyn replied. "And I saw them sitting on her dresser yesterday but they aren't there now. She has to have them with her."

"Then I guess we'll assume she'll continue to take them while she's gone," he responded, turning his attention to Evie to give her the bottle.

"I suppose I should get Rachel dinner since there's nothing else I can do. She's probably starving," Evelyn reluctantly concluded. "I guess I will talk to you later."

House sighed tiredly, knowing he shouldn't get involved, but asked anyway, "Let me know if you hear from her or if she comes home."

Evelyn smiled softly and after a moment reassured him, "I will."

"Night," he said, hitting the disconnect button.

House tucked his phone back in his pocket and carried Evie and her bottle into the living room to finish feeding her. Evie had long since fallen asleep when he realized the bottle wasn't even in her mouth anymore. His thoughts had slipped away from him, trailing off after Cuddy.

* * *

Cuddy had no idea where she was going. She didn't even care. All she knew was that the car was moving on down the highway and it was taking her with it. She didn't know what the future held for her. But she knew it didn't involve the men whose memories she intended to be done with by the time she returned. She drove, her i-Pod plugged in and stereo blaring while Cuddy herself belted out Rosie Thomas lyrics at the top of her lungs.

-----

"_**So much for love I guess I've been wronged  
But it's all right 'cause I'm moving on  
I've got my car all packed with cassette tapes  
And sweaters and loose change and cheap cigarettes and  
I'm gonna drive thru the hills, put my hand out the window**_

_**And sing 'til I run out of words  
I'm gonna stop at every truck stop, make small talk with waiters  
And truck driving men  
I'm gonna fall asleep in the back seat w/ no one around but me and my friends  
It's gonna be so grand  
It's gonna be just like my wedding day, yeah, yeah  
**_

_**Yeah, I've had enough of love, it feels good to give up  
So good to be good to myself and  
I'm gonna get on the highway with no destination  
And plenty of vision in mind  
And I'm gonna drive to the ocean, go skinny dipping  
Blow kisses to Venus and Mars  
I'm gonna stop at every bar and flirt with the cowboys**_

_**In front of their girlfriends  
It's gonna be so grand  
it's gonna be just like my wedding day, yeah, yeah**_

_**  
So much for love, I guess I've been wronged  
But it's all right 'cause I'm moving on  
I'm gonna drive over hills, over mountains, and canyons  
And boys that keep bringin' me down  
I'm gonna drive under skyline and sunshine**_

_**Drink good wine in vineyards  
And get asked to dance  
I'm gonna be carefree and let nothing pass me by**_

_**Never ever again  
It's gonna be so grand  
It's gonna be so grand  
It's gonna be just like my wedding day"**_

* * *

Song: "Wedding Day" (Rosie Thomas)


	51. Bleeding Love

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_( :) I'm so glad you guys are such devoted readers!! I REALLY hope you like this chapter too!)_

* * *

Cuddy woke up the next morning in Richmond, Virginia and stretched out lazily across the hotel bed. She was in no great rush to get up but when she glanced at the clock beside the bed, she realized that check-out was in another hour. She was surprised she'd slept that long. Groaning, she shoved the covers off and got up, entering the bathroom a minute later to eye the Jacuzzi bathtub that looked so inviting. Unfortunately, she didn't have time so she headed for the shower instead.

By the time she was dressed, her hair was dry and styled, and her make-up flawless, Cuddy had five minutes until she had to be downstairs. She glanced at the phone, thinking she probably should call her mother but having no motivation to do so. She didn't have time, she decided. Heading for the door, she grabbed her bag and looked around quick to make sure she had everything. Then she headed downstairs and checked out before getting back on the road.

* * *

Evelyn called House at lunchtime while he was down in the daycare sitting with Evie, clearly upset that Cuddy hadn't called her yet. House didn't know what to say or how to help. He raked a hand through his hair, trying to come up with something to say. But there was nothing for her to do except wait. What else could he tell her?

"Maybe she'll call later today," he replied, rolling his eyes at Michelle who had glanced his way in concern. She smiled and went back to feeding the babies in the highchairs.

"I suppose," Evelyn replied wearily. "But that means I'm pretty stuck. I don't want to leave the house in case she doesn't have my cell phone number memorized and calls here instead."

"She does have an answering machine," he reminded her.

"I know but I really want to talk to her if she calls," she explained.

House expelled his breath but muttered, "Yeah. Well if you need something, let me know."

"Okay. Sorry to bug you at work," she murmured apologetically.

"No problem. I'm on lunch break anyway. Came down to the daycare to check on Evie. We're halfway through a bottle as we speak," House replied, thinking there were times when he really missed having Wilson close enough to have lunch with. No one at RE seemed all that interested in buying his lunches. Not even Cameron.

Evelyn smiled, imagining him in a daycare surrounded by babies. "Give her a kiss for me," she instructed.

"Uh-huh," he replied before hanging up and slipping his phone in his shirt pocket.

"Have you tried solid foods with Evie yet?" Michelle asked.

He looked at her skeptically and drolly reminded her, "She's only four months old."

Michelle smiled and shrugged. "Some parents introduce baby food during the fourth month. She's already got one tooth."

"Yeah, because one tooth is really all you need," he sarcastically quipped.

Michelle gave him a pointed look, tilting her head to the side and shaking her head. "That wasn't what I meant," she wryly remarked. "I'm just saying she's already reached that milestone. She might be up to the challenge. And besides, you don't have to chew up liquid baby food."

"Maybe when she hits the five month mark," House replied after a minute, his eyes going back to Evie.

The door opened and Sandy came in, removing her shoes and hanging up her coat before opening the door up to enter the baby area. "Ruth says you can head on back to Toddlers," she informed Lindsey, who was in the middle of changing a diaper.

Sandy turned her attention to House then. Raising her eyebrows, she snarked, "You're here again?! What do they pay you for, anyway? Don't you ever work?"

"I was wondering what they paid you for," he volleyed right back, enjoying the feisty red-head's constant need to harass him. "As far as I can tell, the only thing you're good for is wiping… snotty noses," House finished after pausing a moment in expectancy of the wide-eyed look Michelle threw his way.

Sandy bit back a smile and then took the baby Lindsey handed her way who House personally had nicknamed Bubba because he looked like a tubby, hick baby and the few times he'd been around at pick-up time to see the kid go home, the mother had done little to make him rethink that nickname.

Getting to his feet, he set Evie down in a swing nearby and adjusted the dial before heading for the door. "Gotta go," he called cheerily over his shoulder on his way out. "Places to go, patients to see."

"Places to go, patients to avoid, from what I hear," Sandy called out after him, causing him to glance back her way and smirk.

"See you later, Dr. House," Michelle said, looking at Sandy in amusement.

* * *

House picked up Evie after he was done for the day and then headed for the highway. He made a split-second decision and a half hour later he pulled up at the curb and retrieved his cell phone, ringing Evelyn. He glanced back to check on the baby while he waited for her to answer.

"Hello Greg," she greeted.

"Yeah, she back?" House replied, getting straight to the point.

He heard her sigh. "No."

"Did she call?" he asked next.

"No. Not yet," Evelyn admitted.

"Well, open up then. You have a granddaughter to visit with," he responded, hanging up. If Evelyn felt trapped, he figured he might as well relieve her boredom. Though he supposed being worried about your daughter didn't exactly classify as boredom, which brought him to the second reason for why he'd come. He had every intention of doing some snooping. House couldn't believe he was doing this but mysteries were meant to be solved and House wanted to know where Cuddy was, though he told himself it was purely for Evelyn's sake. He shut off the engine and climbed out while Evelyn opened the front door, Rachel holding onto her leg.

House opened the back door and unfastened Evie, lifting her out before shutting the door behind him and carefully heading up the walk to hand her over to Evelyn before tweaking Rachel's hair.

"Hey squirt," he greeted her, following Evelyn and the girls into the living room. It wasn't quite as odd to be here when he knew Cuddy was gone, but it was still somewhat disquieting. House sank down on the couch wearily anyway and Evelyn sat down next to him, cooing away at Evie who was contentedly waving her fists in the air and babbling with a smile that stretched ear to ear. Rachel found a book in the corner and then came over to House. After a moment of hanging onto his knee, she tried to pull herself up into his lap, but meeting with little success, waited until House reached down and lifted her up before settling herself in with her book. "And what are you up to, Ms. Cuddy?" he inquired teasingly.

Rachel didn't immediately reply, happy to just sit in his lap and look at the baby her grandma was cooing over right next to them.

"Baby?" she asked, leaning in a little to look up into her grandma's face.

"Yes, baby Georgia," Evelyn enunciated.

"Baby G," Rachel said in an attempt at mimicking the name that was a little too hard for her to pronounce yet.

"Baby G," Grandma Cuddles agreed.

Rachel patted the baby's head not too gently but then looked back up at House. "Book?" she asked. "You read?"

"Why yes I do," he answered somewhat smart-alecky, taking her book from her and opening it up to read it.

Several minutes later Rachel slid from his lap to go to her room, returning with some toys to share with Evelyn and Evie.

House got up and made his way through the house, feeling Evelyn's eyes on him until he went down the hallway and out of view. He went into Cuddy's bedroom without hesitation and glanced around, finally spotting what he was looking for. Heading to the chair across the room, he grabbed her laptop and brought it back into the living room, sliding the lock so as to open it.

Evelyn looked his way with interest but Rachel and Evie were keeping her occupied so she just let him do whatever he was going to do, figuring he'd tell her at some point what he was up to. House made various stabs at possible passwords until he cracked it, not surprised when it only took him seven tries. Then he opened up a web browser, pulled up her e-mail account using the same password, and flipped through the pages, looking for anything interesting. He met with no success. The majority of her e-mails were unopened and at least a hundred of them, work-related. House knew what he'd check next.

Evelyn grew curious and got to her feet with Evie, coming over to look over his shoulder. House had pulled up Cuddy's bank page and he met Evelyn's eyes at that point. "Do you know her bank account number?" he asked, not remembering it offhand.

"No, but her bank statement came today. It's on the kitchen counter next to the bills yet to be paid," she replied, heading off to get it.

He typed it in once she'd returned and then it asked for her social security number. House pursed his lips before concluding there was at least a slim chance that he didn't have to reveal his hand because she might know it. "Do you remember?" he queried, glancing at her.

Evelyn understood the question as she was watching from behind him but she shook her head. "I can call Richard and see if he can find it. I'm sure he has it somewhere."

House was tempted to ask her to call him but he was impatient so he sighed and just entered it. He hadn't wanted to reveal that he knew it by heart, but oh well.

Evelyn looked at him in surprise when Lisa's bank account opened immediately. "You know her social security number?" she asked in shock before reaching for a blanket and spreading it out on the floor to lay Evie, who was now sleeping, down.

He nodded but did not explain, nor did he look up.

"Greg," she began, curious now, "How do you know her social security number?"

House smirked. "Employment record," he said simply, shrugging.

"You've been through your boss's employment record?" she asked in amusement.

He met her gaze for a moment, his eyebrows waggling before looking back at the web browser. "Ex-boss," he interjected. "And if she gets to see mine, I get to see hers."

Evelyn laughed. "Okay, so that's how you've happened across it. But why do you have it memorized?"

"Thought it might come in handy one day," he stated without further explanation. "And it has."

Before she could ask for more details, House clicked on Cuddy's checking account to see if she'd made any purchases lately. There were very few charges of late, other than bill pays that she probably had set up to come out of her account automatically. He focused his attention at the top. Nothing helpful. It really didn't surprise him.

"She's not drawing funds from her checking account," he muttered, closing the bank account up and opening another web browser.

"I don't think she had much cash with her," Evelyn volunteered helpfully. "Right after I got here Lisa said that by Friday she needed to run to the bank and make a withdrawal."

House nodded and got up to go into the kitchen. He tracked down the stack of bills and sifted through it for a credit card statement. When he found it he brought the invoice back with him into the living room and went to that website, entering the account number and figuring out her password much easier this time. The security question popped up and his fingers paused for a moment on the keyboard.

"What's your middle name?" he asked her.

"Marie," Evelyn informed him. "I'm going to start supper. But let me know if you find out anything."

"Yeah," he replied simply, casting a glance at his sleeping daughter before answering the second question that asked about where she'd gone to school. At that point he was given access to her account and he opened it up to check recent activity.

"Jackpot," House muttered before getting up to go into the kitchen, bringing the laptop with him. "She's making her way along the coast," he told Evelyn. "I'm not sure where she's headed but she's not on her way back yet."

She stared at him in confusion. "Is she going up or down?"

"Down," he clarified.

Evelyn fell silent for a moment and then finally asked, "What's she buying?"

House shrugged, heading into the dining room. "Gas, mostly. Though she's stopped at a few diners along the way."

"Where'd she stay last night?" she inquired next, stirring whatever it was she was making on the stove.

"The Doubletree Hotel in Richmond, Virginia," he replied, setting the laptop on the dining room table before pulling up another web browser to see where that was at. "The number for the one she's staying at is right across from the airport," he added after checking.

"That's… at least five hours from here!" Evelyn remarked. "You don't think she's taking a plane somewhere, do you?"

House shook his head. "No. She's bought gas since then."

"Where do you think she's going?" Evelyn inquired, clearly having no idea what her daughter was up to. Shaking her head in disbelief, she reached for the colander, setting it in the sink before dumping the noodles in.

"Macaroni and cheese?" House asked, looking up with a sarcastic smirk on his face. "You used to be a good cook," he taunted in amusement.

Evelyn gave him a death stare and steely informed him, "I still am. But Rachel is going through a macaroni and cheese stage. It's hard to get her to eat anything else unless it's breakfast-related. Tonight, I'm not even going to bother making something that she won't eat anyway."

House held his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright," he tauntingly declared as if she was going to smack him or something.

"Where do you think she's going?" she repeated.

House pursed his mouth and reopened her credit card statement. Studying it, he replied, "I'm not sure. There's a time delay of at least a couple hours on when purchases get posted online. But she can go pretty far on a full tank of gas. Is there anyone along the coast that she knows and might head off to visit?"

"Not that I know of," Evelyn said, glancing his way thoughtfully. "Where'd she last fill up?"

"That's not much help," he admitted. "She filled up this morning in Richmond."

Evelyn sighed and then dished up macaroni and cheese into a couple bowls. "Want some?" she asked, shooting a smile his way.

"Why not?" he dryly replied before closing the laptop and entering the kitchen to sit down next to Rachel.

* * *

Cuddy herself didn't become aware of just where she was going until she hit South Carolina and stopped to fill up. She supposed it was fitting, though she had to admit it sent chills down her spine. Heading into the gas station, she grabbed a bottle of water and a vegetarian sub at the Subway counter inside, knowing she was taking her pills a little erratically and should probably do something about that so that she didn't risk the off chance that missing her meds would result in a return of her depressive state, especially once she reached her destination, which would probably be challenging enough as it was.

So far she hadn't really done much thinking or planning. She'd been content to drive and listen to music. Cuddy figured she'd have a better idea of how she was going to conquer erasing the past, or at least moving on, once she arrived where she was headed. She hoped it would all click into place then.

* * *

House tossed and turned in bed that night before finally giving up and heading out to grab his laptop. He had checked Cuddy's account activity once more before leaving her house but nothing new had popped up. He was irritated with himself that he couldn't just leave this alone. House wished it really was just about reassuring Evelyn.

Turning on his laptop, he waited for it to boot up and then entered his password before opening a web browser and once more checking her credit card statement. Two new items were listed. She'd stopped just inside South Carolina to buy gas and from the looks of it, get some lunch.

South Carolina? What would she be doing in South Carolina? Frowning, he entered "U.S. map of southern states" in the search engine and then clicked on one of the results. Staring at it, he followed the highways out from her last stop and suddenly, he knew EXACTLY where she was going. For the life of him though, he couldn't figure out why. That bothered him. Well, the idea she was headed that way bothered him no matter how he looked at it.

House closed his laptop and checked on Evie before going back to bed. That night, he found himself sleeping fitfully, struggling with a lot of questions and without a whole lot of answers.

* * *

House called Evelyn on the way into work Thursday morning. Before she could say anything more than a greeting, he demanded to know, "What did you say to her on Monday night?"

Evelyn's eyes shot open in surprise and she cringed before admitting, "I… got after Lisa about her disregard for all you've done for her."

There was silence for a moment and then House exhaled harshly into the phone before laughing mirthlessly.

"Why? Did she call you?" Evelyn asked bemusedly.

"No. She doesn't have my number," he muttered. "But I checked her account this morning."

"What did you find out?" she inquired, hopeful.

"She's staying at another hotel," House replied flatly.

Evelyn glanced at Rachel who was finishing her breakfast. "Where?" she finally asked when he didn't immediately tell her.

"Georgia," House said dryly. "Savannah, Georgia."

* * *

Cuddy woke up around 10 a.m. and finally indulged in a long bath before dressing warmly to head out and see whatever she'd driven there to see. If she was looking for a trip down memory lane, why hadn't she just chosen Michigan? It was where they'd spent the majority of their time together. She could have walked the paths that they'd walked, visited the halls of the school they'd attended, maybe even see if the apartment building where she'd finally asked him to make love to her that one night was still standing. But no, she was in Georgia instead. She supposed she ought to be grateful for that. Georgia didn't have the snow that Michigan was buried under this time of year. But the problem with Georgia was that she only had happy memories of House here; nothing to make her want to drive him from her mind and heart.

Cuddy hoped that perhaps all she needed to let go of those memories was to dwell on them one more time. She drove the streets of Savannah; admiring the architecture of the city, the beautiful Southern mansions, the homey feel to everything. Spotting a fairly unoccupied coffee shop just off the main street, she parked at the curb and headed in, desiring a warm spot in a corner somewhere that she could sit, sip a cup of tea, and reminisce in for a while.

* * *

Lisa was in Georgia, Evelyn spent the morning repeating to herself. Georgia. She knew there was really only one reason for why Lisa would go there and that was to revisit her past with Greg. But for what purpose? Was she working through things down there? Would she come back prepared to seek him out?

Evelyn supposed her daughter really was a bit sentimental about some things. After all, she'd welcomed Greg back into her life in hiring him at Princeton-Plainsboro after whatever had happened to drive him out of her life before that. And now she was in Georgia, probably reliving their time there. Which made that all about Greg really; Greg and that trip over Spring Break.

Unless this was about the baby. But as far as she knew, Lisa didn't know anything about her daughter, except her sex. She was most likely clueless about her daughter's name. Evelyn had never mentioned it, not wanting to take away from Greg being able to explain what he'd been thinking in choosing it once Lisa finally realized she wanted her daughter and wanted to be in her life. So it wasn't that. It wasn't about the baby. No, it had to be about Greg. It WAS about Greg.

Evelyn sighed. Her daughter really wasn't acting very sensibly. After all, Greg was here. Why go to Georgia when she could find him right here at home? She hoped Lisa had a plan. And she hoped it was a good one with a worthwhile objective.

* * *

Cuddy sat in the coffee shop and tried to piece together a plan. Unfortunately, now that she was here, she really had no idea what she should aim to do. She grabbed a small notepad out of her purse and tried to list off all that she and House had done here that day and night so many years ago now: Went to the Beach, Walked the Boardwalk, Danced, Spent Night under the Stars, Stopped at the Georgia State Line. It really wasn't that long a list and other things, such as holding hands, kissing, sleeping together under the night sky, didn't make the list because they were obviously impossible and completely inappropriate when considering her goal.

Cuddy considered her list while finishing the rest of her tea. If she intended to be home by the time her mother had to leave this weekend, she had plenty of time to relive and then obliterate these things. After all, she and House hadn't been here longer than the time remaining to her.

So then the question was what to do with the items she'd brought along; items having nothing to do with House but everything to do with Lucas. That she wasn't so clear yet.

* * *

Cuddy left the coffee shop sometime later to head for the beach. It was deserted, being that even in Georgia it was winter still and the temperature only in the upper 40's. She parked the car on the street, locked her purse within it, tucked her car keys in her pocket, and walked down to the water, finding herself removing her socks and shoes regardless of the water temperature. She set them aside in the sand at a safe distance from the water, rolled up her jeans to just above her knees, and then returned to the shoreline, closing her eyes and walking along, the frigid water lapping over her feet whenever a wave crested where she was standing.

Cuddy was certain that she wasn't walking a straight line because she was constantly zigzagging back towards the dry sand whenever she turned too far into the ocean and felt the water rise over her ankles. Trying to think of her worst memory of him, she stopped short on the beach, unable to immediately come up with one, which was odd because she should be having the opposite problem, that of trying to just settle on one. Since that made no sense, she slowly went through her history of him and finally, she came down to four. The most recent two she latched onto strangely went back to the days leading up to Mayfield. Her mind went back over that moment when he'd shouted from the railing that he'd slept with her and how angry and wounded she'd been, forgetting her Dean of Medicine persona and allowing everyone and anyone nearby to see inside her.

But frankly, she had to throw that one out because he'd been hallucinating after all. So then she turned to that night days before when he'd entered her office and told her she could go home and suckle her kid if it made her feel better about herself. That had definitely been painful. But again, he'd been deflecting from his own pain and he'd thought the night ended differently than it had. He'd thought he hadn't let her go home to cry over that slap across the face but instead perhaps soothed the wound with his own painful self-disclosure. And maybe then some, with what he'd hallucinated happening between them.

On to the third, she told herself, trying to get herself back on track and concentrate, now focusing on the memory of the little girl they'd been treating and how he'd entered the shower where she sat with the little girl only to yell at her and tell her how it was a good thing she'd failed to become a mom because she sucked at it. THAT had been cold-blooded. And yet again, he'd been in the midst of his own personal hell with Tritter. She couldn't say that made up for his words or excused him from his cruelty any more than he'd been justified in what he'd said in her office about Rachel, but it did explain to some degree why he'd lashed out on her.

So finally she settled not on something he'd said but something he'd done; how he'd avoided her for a whole week after that night when they'd had sex during med school, not even saying goodbye before he left, not even having the guts to tell her he was done with her once he'd gotten what he wanted.

That ought to cancel out every single good memory she'd ever had of him way back when. The months that followed: full of pain, self-loathing, more than a little repugnance for House himself, some dabbling in self-destructive behavior to try and ease her hurt, or at least forget it short-term, and okay, a few poor choices, though nothing she couldn't recover from; well, it should annul anything he'd meant to her in med school.

But in her head she saw House as he'd been while they'd walked the beach together back then, still the rogue but oddly… happy too, perhaps happier than she'd ever seen him. She could picture taking his hand and how he'd looked at her like that was the last thing he wanted, despite how his hand clamped down on hers possessively. She could see how he flirted with kissing her, his lips hovering just centimeters from hers and how she'd close her eyes and then move the small distance that would bring their lips together, only to have them disappear before she could meet them in a kiss as he teased her and made her long more for the moment when they would. Cuddy felt a smile steal its way across her features. Shaking herself, her eyes opened and Cuddy realized this was NOT helping at all. She needed to get over these thoughts! So how did she go about that?!

She sighed, a wave of melancholy flowing over her. This wasn't quite working out for her the way she had hoped it would. Maybe she'd have more success on the boardwalk.

* * *

House was distracted all day. He just couldn't concentrate for the life of him. Cameron asked if something was wrong multiple times but he'd just brush it off and say it was nothing important before redirecting her attention to the case they were working on. By the end of the day though he had managed to figure out what was wrong with their patient and Cameron left to make sure the treatment was working while he sat down at his desk to busy himself with the paperwork he abhorred.

It took him much longer than it should have, mainly because he kept thinking of Cuddy and what she was doing down there. Over and over he heard Evelyn say, _"I got after Lisa for her disregard for all you've done for her."_ And then Erika asking who_ "the woman who looked like she'd be only too happy to murder me for being there with you"_ was and her sarcastic remark about how a description of Cuddy as jealous would be putting it lightly. House tried to figure out what Cuddy was doing in Georgia. He attempted to puzzle it out. But all the same, a sensible answer eluded him.

* * *

Cuddy strolled the boardwalk after she'd put her socks and shoes back on, paying little attention to the light people traffic around her. She didn't recognize any of the nearby shops. But then, she supposed a lot changed in twenty years. Even she and House had changed since then.

Suddenly Cuddy spotted a weather-beaten sign she vaguely recognized, not for the store it advertised but because of its odd shape. And as if by instinct she knew this was where they'd danced. She moved to the railing so that she wouldn't block traffic and closed her eyes, listening to the waves crashing not too far away. As if it was yesterday, Cuddy could imagine the sound of people talking and the singer/keyboardist and violinist playing one song after another, all three trying to earn a little cash while pedestrians danced and swayed where she was now standing. She could almost feel House's arms around her and how it had felt to sway with him there, her cheek pressed against his chest while he copped a feel mid-song in classic Housian behavior, uncomfortable with the vulnerability and exposure he felt in slow-dancing in such a public location.

Cuddy forced her eyes open and huffed in frustration. Why couldn't she just let him go? Seriously! How many people had told her back in med school that she didn't know what she was getting herself into in getting involved with him? How many of the girls she'd run into on campus had stopped just long enough to tell her he was no good and would only hurt her? How many warnings had she received from well-meaning individuals and how many times had she ignored their dead-on advice?

House had been the first man to truly steal her heart. And what had happened in the end? He'd walked away. And she'd been left there, heart slashed open and bleeding from a wound that no med student on campus could fix. Oh why were these memories so hard to leave behind?!

-----

"_**Closed off from love, I didn't need the pain  
Once or twice was enough and it was all in vain  
Time starts to pass before you know it you're frozen**_

**_But something happened for the very first time with you  
My heart melted to the ground, found something true  
And everyone's looking 'round, thinking I'm going crazy_**

**_But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you  
They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth  
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing_**

**_You cut me open  
And I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love  
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love  
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love  
You cut me open_**

**_Trying hard not to hear but they talk so loud  
Their piercing sounds fill my ears try to fill me with doubt  
Yet I know that the goal is to keep me from falling_**

**_But nothing's greater than the rush  
That comes with your embrace  
And in this world of loneliness I see your face  
Yet everyone around me thinks that I'm going crazy  
Maybe, maybe_**

**_But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you  
They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth  
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing_**

**_You cut me open  
And I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love  
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love  
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love  
You cut me open_**

**_And it's draining all of me  
Oh, they find it hard to believe  
I'll be wearing these scars for everyone to see_**

**_I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you  
They try to pull me away but they don't know the truth  
My heart's crippled by the vein that I keep on closing_**

**_You cut me open  
And I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love  
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love  
Keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love_**

**_Oh, you cut me open  
And I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love  
I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love  
Keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love_**

**_You cut me open  
And I keep bleeding, keep, keep bleeding love"_**

* * *

Song: "Bleeding Love" (Leona Lewis)


	52. Cowboy Casanova

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(LONG CHAPTER!! Song choice - well, when in the south, come on! You gotta go country! :) Cuddy's about to make a bad choice. Okay, a few bad choices. But I suppose we all do, especially when we're trying to escape our problems rather than deal with them. What can you do? Review!!) (Oh! And PDubou, you're killing me! I'd love to respond to your comments but I can't send you a message. :( )_

* * *

House picked Evie up from the daycare and headed for the grocery store to pick up some things on the way home. His phone rang just as he entered the store and he sighed before pausing near the grocery carts, uncertain that his signal would hold once he moved beyond the entrance. Pulling it from his pocket, he glanced at the number before flipping it open.

"Give me a minute, Wilson," he told him before tucking his cell phone into the baby carrier and grabbing a cart, heaving Evie's carrier up and locking it into place on top of the cart before retrieving his phone.

"What's up?" House asked then.

"Just checking in. I haven't heard from you since Monday night," Wilson replied, reminding himself once more that he was NOT going to mention Cuddy's question about Erika when he'd stopped by her office, while unlocking his apartment as he'd just gotten home. "I thought I better make sure you were still breathing."

"Last time I checked," House quipped, rolling his eyes before saying, "Evelyn's in town for a week. She's been spending time with Evie and eating up all my free time I'd normally harass you during. You going to meet me and Trevor at my house Saturday or will we just find you in the stands?"

"I'll meet you at your place," Wilson said as he went about setting down his briefcase and taking off his coat. "That way I can come over and spend some time with my niece first. I was wondering if you'd want to grab a late lunch together?"

"Yeah. Sounds good. What time?" he inquired before pushing the cart through the second set of double doors to escape the chill from people coming and going.

"Two p.m.?" Wilson suggested.

"Are we eating out or bringing food in?"

"Let's go out. I'm kind of sick of takeout," he replied.

"What difference does it make where you eat it if someone else cooks it?" House asked skeptically.

Wilson ignored him and said, "Let's try that barbecue place on Fourth. I'll meet you at your place but you can drive."

"Fine," he agreed. "Evie and I will be ready to go by 2:15."

"2, House," Wilson corrected.

"Yeah, whatever," he said dismissively. "I'm going to hang up now. Evie and I are at the grocery store."

"Oh. Okay. Night House," Wilson replied.

"Night Wilson," House said before hanging up. He looked at Evie then, thinking he'd probably gotten lucky by having the conversation end so quickly. He didn't want to imagine what Wilson would think about the latest melodrama with Cuddy, especially if he found out just how closely House had been monitoring her credit card transactions, trying to figure out what she was up to. THAT would definitely not go over. Even if he told him it was just to ease Evelyn's mind.

* * *

Cuddy headed back to her car and drove back to the ritzy hotel she was staying at. Opening her trunk she removed the box of mementos from her relationship with Lucas along with the garment bag containing her wedding dress, thinking maybe destroying memories of one relationship would help her be able to destroy memories of another, even if she hadn't brought tangibles representing House but only memories of being here with him.

Cuddy had however come to a conclusion of how she'd dispose of the reminders she had of Lucas. The hotel room she had was actually fantastic. It even came with a fireplace; one which Cuddy planned to take advantage of and had decided she was going to burn the box of mementos in and maybe even burn her dress. She hadn't quite decided on that. The temptation was definitely there. And it wasn't as if she'd ever wear it now. It belonged to a past dream that no longer held any enchantment for her. What else was there to do with it?

It took some time for Cuddy to get the fire roaring to life. Once it was, she turned off the lights in her room and went to sit by it, slowly lifting the lid of the box beside her. Looking within now, the two stuffed animals he'd won her at the fair looked lame and childish. She put them in the fireplace without any hesitation, watching them intently as she was fairly certain they'd be the most likely source of smoke which could lead to the smoke alarm by the door going off. The file of clipped wedding ideas went next, the manila folder slowly crisping and smoking until it burned red and then turned to ash. Grabbing the poker, she stirred it around slightly, making sure the contents within went up in flame, leaving nothing behind. Then she grabbed the few pictures she had, surprised at how few she'd actually taken. But then, Lucas was the one who usually took pictures and oftentimes the pictures he'd taken had been of her and Rachel, not of the two of them as a couple. She tossed them in, not seeing any point in keeping them either.

Cuddy looked in the box almost regretfully, wishing she had more to burn as she was kind of getting into the whole burning thing. It would have been nice to have some letters or notes or something to destroy one by one. But Lucas hadn't been the type who wrote letters or notes, content to just call or text her.

Getting to her feet, she headed for the garment bag she'd set on the bed. But when she opened it Cuddy realized just how poufy her dress was. Trying to shove it in the fireplace and burn it was asking for trouble. She'd probably burn herself in the process, just trying to get it in and keep it in while it quickly caught fire and the flames licked across the delicate fabric.

She returned the guard to the fireplace and then watched it slowly die down while she eyed the dress, trying to decide what to do with it. In the end, what she did was nothing she'd ever imagined herself doing.

* * *

House placed Evie in her crib and turned off the light before heading for his room. Entering the bathroom with the intention of taking a shower, he suddenly realized he hadn't done his laundry in the last week and had thrown his last clean towel in the hamper yesterday. Carrying the hamper through the house, he headed to the laundry room and started a load before going back to his walk-in closet, fairly certain he had a couple spares on the shelf in there that would save him from having to make a trip upstairs to grab one from the guest bathroom. He didn't bother stocking them in the main bathroom, as he always used his personal bathroom for showering. Entering the closet, he looked around to try and remember where he'd shoved them and then spotted them up on the top shelf. Reaching up, he retrieved one only to have the other fall down to the floor at his feet. Sighing, he bent down to pick it up only to come face to face with the box he'd stowed with his mementos from his past with Cuddy.

House stared at it. The box beckoned him, provoking him and causing House to curse. Just because Cuddy was down doing who knew what in Georgia didn't mean he had to take his own trip back to the past. Growling, he shoved the box farther in before stalking into the bathroom to take his shower and obliterate the pull he was feeling to join her down memory lane.

* * *

Cuddy didn't know what she had been thinking but she found herself down at the beach in her wedding dress. She'd only put it on in the car, after a quick stop at a liquor store that had caught her attention on the drive, it having been a long time since she'd drank at all and suddenly craving some wine.

Getting the dress on while in a car had NOT been an easy task. The only thing she found to be thankful for was the fact that she'd parked far from the normal beach parking zones in a deserted area where the chance of being spotted was slim to none.

Walking down to the beach in it however had proved an incredibly awkward trip as she kept tripping over the hem and several times she was positive it had snagged on the wooden planks of the steps she'd taken down to the waterfront, creating rips and tears here and there, not that she cared. After all, she was planning to toss the dress anyway. She just wanted to wear it once more for posterity… or something. Maybe in an effort to get wedding fever out of her system once and for all.

Cuddy found a small unlit pier and headed for it, groaning at how the sand grabbed at her dress and slowed her down. Maybe this hadn't been such a great idea, she thought to herself. It took forever to reach it. All the same, she felt a hundred times better when she finally made it onto the pier and sat down carefully at the end of it, staring up into the night sky as she tried to remember all House had tried to teach her that night, failing miserably because even she knew she'd been listening more to the cadence of his voice than to what he'd been saying; watching him out of the corner of her eye, studying him more than she had the stars overhead, her head resting on his shoulder, the scent of him like an elixir – a powerful drug to her strangely heightened senses whenever he was near.

Suddenly she was glad for the pit stop she'd made. If she was going to be sad, she'd rather indulge and hopefully dull it with a little wine while she just got it over with than leave Georgia, taking her memories home with her once again.

But Cuddy hadn't counted on how it would react with her medicine, causing her to turn sluggish and overly drowsy, so drowsy that she had to force herself to leave the pier before she fell off the end and drowned under the combined effects of the alcohol, pills, and the weight of a waterlogged wedding dress. She was lucky enough, considering how much she stumbled about thereafter, to reach the sand safely, hoping she wouldn't collapse and fall asleep before she made it someplace safe. She really hoped no one would grab her purse. Even more than that, she prayed they'd just leave her alone in general.

* * *

Wilson was brushing his teeth in the bathroom when his phone rang. Spitting into the sink, he stepped out and grabbed it from the counter to find someone from PPTH was calling. Hitting the talk button, he said, "This is Dr. Wilson."

"Hey Dr. Wilson. This is Diane from the front desk. A call came in for Dr. House and Rhonda told me I should give you a call to pass on the message since you'd know how to get in touch with him," Diane explained.

Wilson frowned but said, "Sure. What's the message?"

"He said his name was Clancy Jackson with the Chatham County Jail. He requested that I have Dr. House call him back as soon as possible. He left a number he can be reached at," she replied.

Wilson squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head, trying to muddle through what could possibly be going on. He didn't even know where Chatham County was.

"You still there, Dr. Wilson?" Diane asked doubtfully.

"Yeah," he finally replied, reaching for a pen. "What's the number?"

She read it off to him and he grabbed a nearby pad of paper to write it down, along with the name of the man House needed to call and the jail he'd been calling from. "Did he say what this was about?" he inquired, though he figured she'd have said if he had.

"No; just asked that he call back," Diane answered.

"Okay. Thanks Diane," he replied before hanging up.

Staring at the number a moment, he pursed his lips and then entered House's speed dial number.

"Wilson, you are so needy!" House sarcastically declared when he answered, in the middle of throwing the load of laundry into the dryer. "I just talked to you a few hours ago. What did you forget?"

"Nothing," Wilson replied, rolling his eyes. "But more importantly, what have you done now?"

"What?!" House demanded to know in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"I just got a call from PPTH. Diane at the front desk called me to pass on a message for you," Wilson said, yawning tiredly.

"What was the message?" House asked in curiosity, hitting the button to start the dryer before turning off the light on his way back towards his bedroom.

"Someone named Clancy Jackson called and requested that you give him a callback as soon as possible. I have his number for you. But more interestingly, he's from the Chatham County Jail. Wherever that is," Wilson wryly acknowledged. "So again I ask: what have you done now?"

House was silent for a moment. Savannah, Georgia was in Chatham County. This call could only be about Cuddy, though why they'd call him of all people, he had no idea. Fear clawed at his gut. He vaguely remembered Wilson was waiting for a response. Snapping out of it, he gruffly said, "I haven't done anything. I don't have the first clue why they're calling me. Maybe it's someone trying to get a hold of me work-wise who heard of me but didn't know how to get in touch now that I left PPTH. Geesh! You always suspect the worst!"

Wilson considered that this could be something work-related, but before he could reply House asked, "What's the number? There's only one way for me to find out what this is about."

Wilson read it off to him and then doubtfully asked, "You'll call me if it's something other than hospital business?"

"Yeah," he lied without hesitation. "If it's a big deal, I'll give you a call."

"Alright. Night House," Wilson replied, feeling reassured.

"Night."

* * *

House paced his bedroom for several long minutes before finally deciding to just call the number and find out what was going on. He couldn't deal with whatever had happened without knowing what was going on.

It rang several times before someone picked up.

"Sheriff Jackson with the Chatham County Jail speaking," the man answering the phone announced.

"Yeah, this is Dr. House. I was told to call you," he replied, attempting nonchalance.

"Yes, Dr. House. Sorry to bother you but we've got a Lisa Cuddy here. She was picked up down near the beach for Public Intoxication. We aren't planning to press charges at this point. Our main concern was her behavior. Anyway, we found your name in her purse as her emergency contact, along with your office number. Are you her doctor? Do you know if she has any medical conditions we should be concerned about?" the Sheriff queried.

House sighed heavily. He couldn't believe this! What was Cuddy thinking?! "She's on antidepressants," he replied. "You know for a fact that she was drinking?"

"We found a bottle of wine nearby," he explained. "There doesn't appear to be enough missing to justify the state she's in, but then, we aren't sure if she was drinking prior to that. All we know is that the breathalyzer shows she's still below the legal limit."

"How is she?" House asked, concerned even though he hated himself for it.

"My deputy picked her up because he spotted her while on patrol, down at the beach stumbling around," the Sheriff informed him. "While normally we don't arrest people for public intoxication unless they are being obnoxious, he was concerned she was a danger to herself in the state she was in and brought her in to sleep it off. But when he got back to the station he had to carry her in because she was barely responsive. We called the doc. He came in and checked her over but said her blood pressure and pulse rate are just a little outside the normal range. She slept right through his visit. He said it would help him to know any medical history we could get on her. My deputy had found her purse near the bottle of wine. In digging through it we couldn't locate a phone but we did find her wallet with the information card I already told you about. You say she's on antidepressants?"

"Yeah. She's lucky she only seems to be suffering from extreme drowsiness. Her reaction could have been worse. Otherwise, she looked okay? She hadn't been attacked or mugged or anything?" House couldn't help asking.

"I don't think so," Sheriff Jackson reassured. "It doesn't look like anything's missing from her purse, though I can't be sure of that. There's no phone which is a little unusual but that might be back wherever she's staying or maybe in her vehicle. All I can really tell you is that her credit cards are in her purse, along with some small bills."

"She left her phone at home," House replied, remembering that Evelyn had told him so. "Have you found her car?"

"To be honest, we haven't had time to track down a license plate just yet. Things have been a little busy," he admitted. "I'll pull up her information in a minute. Her driver's license is from out of state though. You sure she has a car with her? I'd hate to send my guys out looking and find out its back in New Jersey."

"She drove it down there," House said then. "It's probably not too far from where you found her."

"Well, what do you want me to do with her?" the sheriff asked. "Technically, we just intended to hold her overnight. But if she's on antidepressants and abusing alcohol, I don't want to have to worry about putting her back out on the road. I don't need an accident or a death weighing on my conscience. You want to come get her?"

House rubbed his face, finding this unbelievable. The last thing he wanted to do was go get her. But he didn't want to have to worry about her well-being, either. Especially if she'd been trying to do herself harm. She was a doctor! She knew better than to mix antidepressants and alcohol! What was Cuddy doing?! He seriously hoped this was the first time and that it hadn't been intentional.

He didn't want to go get her. But then he thought of Evelyn and how worried she was. Evelyn would kill him if he let something happen to Cuddy. He could call her and send her down there to pick Cuddy up and drive her home. But she had Rachel. True, he had Evie and there was no way he'd take her with him, but he supposed he could leave her with Evelyn as well. She'd probably be able to handle two kids while he flew down and then drove Cuddy back home.

Making a decision, he sighed and finally said, "Yeah. I'll come get her. But I'm going to have to catch a flight down there so you might have to hold her until I can get there."

"We can do that," he assured him. "If she comes to and wants out, I don't have any problem charging her with Public Intoxication. I can drop the charges afterwards."

"She'll probably sleep until mid-day tomorrow anyway," House dryly replied. "Let me give you my number though so that you can call me if you need to. I'll call an airline and ring you back with an estimate of when I'll arrive in Savannah."

"Sounds like a plan," Sheriff Jackson agreed. "Thanks for taking a load off my mind. I hope she appreciates it."

House chuckled mirthlessly. "That remains to be seen," he replied before reciting his number and saying goodbye.

Once House had hung up, he glanced at the clock before reaching for his laptop and searching flight schedules. Then he called the two airlines that looked to be his best bets. The earliest flight he could find that wasn't already full left at 9 a.m. the next morning and had a connecting flight into Savannah that would get him there around two in the afternoon. The only other option was to take a flight to Atlanta and rent a car. But he estimated it would only save him about 45 minutes. If he was going to be stuck driving them home, he didn't want to have to be in a car any longer than he had to. House wasn't sure his leg wouldn't be cramping up long before they made it back to Jersey, if forced to sit still that long. He went ahead and booked the flight to Savannah, groaning when she told him how much it was going to cost him. He was half tempted to give her Cuddy's credit card number, if it wasn't for the fact that he didn't know her security code off the back. When he hung up a moment later, he closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall, knowing this was one more thing to chalk up as a waste of his time on Cuddy's behalf. He really just didn't have it in him to ride to her rescue anymore. And yet, what else could he do?

* * *

House woke up the next morning and got dressed before preparing a bottle for Evie for when she woke up. He grabbed the bag he'd packed after his call to buy a ticket, carrying it out to his car before throwing it into his trunk. Then he returned into the house to pack another bag of supplies for Evie. By the time he had that out in the car, Evie was awake. He fed her the bottle while calling the hospital to let them know he was taking a personal day, suddenly thankful that he really didn't have to worry about this causing issues for him at work, since his attendance record was spotless so far, due to his tendency to first take Evie with him to the gym to work out and strengthen his thigh before heading in. House also had them transfer him over to the daycare to inform Ruth that Evie wouldn't be in.

That left Cameron being an issue. House sighed, figuring he'd just deal with that when he had to. Hopefully she'd call him before she called Wilson. He figured Cameron he could fool. Wilson, already knowing about the call from Chatham County Jail, would be harder to mislead.

House pulled out of the driveway and then realized he had another problem. Even if he left Evie with Evelyn, who was going to pick her up before he arrived back with Cuddy? Cameron and Wilson were out. House breathed a sigh of relief and drove next door, parking in Erika's driveway and leaving the baby in the car to head up to the door quick.

Erika opened the door in her bathrobe a minute later, looking half-asleep. "House, what are you doing here? You realize it's only six-thirty in the morning, right?"

He eyed her choice of robe approvingly but then said, "I need a favor."

"What is it?" she asked doubtfully.

"I have to go out of town unexpectedly. Evie's grandma will watch her. But I need to know if you can pick her up from there this weekend if I give you a call later and let you know when," he muttered resignedly.

"You're going out of town this weekend?" she asked in confusion. "But…"

Trevor interrupted her before she could continue. "But you can't go out of town this weekend!" he objected from the top of the stairs where he'd been listening in. "You're taking me to see the monster trucks tomorrow night!"

House looked at Erika and groaned. She bit her lip and then opened the door wider so he could see Trevor and respond to him.

House pursed his lips. Cuddy was really wrecking havoc on his life. He didn't appreciate her timing. Not only had he forgotten the monster truck event but he'd failed to remember Wilson was due to show up tomorrow as well, much earlier in the day to go out for lunch. He looked at Trevor and his crestfallen expression. There was nothing for it. He'd just have to be back by then. "Relax kid," he reassured him. "I'll be back tomorrow."

Erika looked at him in surprise but finally asked, "Where are you going?"

House rolled his eyes. "Believe me when I tell you this was not in my plans."

"House," she prodded.

Low enough so that Trevor couldn't hear, he mumbled, "I have to go to Georgia. Evie's mom landed herself in jail down there and I need to go bring her back. But Wilson can't know so I'd appreciate it if you'd just keep this between the two of us."

Her eyebrows rose at the mention of "Evie's mom" and "in jail," but she nodded without comment. "You'll call me and let me know when to get her for you?" she asked.

House nodded. "I'll e-mail directions too. You'll need to get her tomorrow, probably in the morning, since I'm supposed to be back by 2 p.m. to meet Wilson. Do you think Trevor can keep this between us?"

Erika considered it but nodded. "I'll ask him to. He'll be way too excited tomorrow about going with you guys anyway to bring it up, I think. "

House expelled his breath. "Okay. I gotta go. I'll call you."

Erika nodded but teasingly said, "I hope you plan to tell me all about it."

House chuckled dryly. "Don't worry. I'm sure you'll get an earful." Then he turned and made his way back to the car, knowing he had to make it to Cuddy's before too long if he didn't want to get caught in morning traffic.

* * *

Evelyn opened the front door, surprised to find House standing there with Evie. She opened the door for him to come in, concerned by the frown on his face. "What's going on?" she asked worriedly.

"I hope you're up to the task of watching Evie and Rachel," he muttered. "I need to leave her with you until tomorrow."

"That's fine," she reassured him. "But why?"

"I've got a plane to catch," he dryly acknowledged before trying to keep it light and not panic her. "Got a call from Chatham County Jail in Savannah, Georgia. Your daughter landed herself in the poky. They called me. I've agreed to go down there and get her."

Evelyn looked at him, bewildered. "Lisa's in JAIL?"

House nodded slowly.

"Why? What happened?" she asked.

House sighed and shook his head before rubbing a hand over his face. "Apparently she forgot she can't mix alcohol with her medication. They found her stumbling around the beach and brought her in out of concern that she was a danger to herself."

"Is she okay?" Evelyn asked fearfully.

"Yeah," House replied, shrugging it off.

"Is she being charged? Does she have to go before a judge?" she inquired next. "Is it going to go on her permanent record?!"

"Relax," he mumbled. "They're just holding her until I get there."

"But…why did they call you?" she asked then. "Why wouldn't they have called me?"

"Cuddy apparently had me listed as an emergency contact in her purse. Don't ask me why. All I know is I'm the one they called, though they had to go through PPTH to contact me," he added. He glanced at his watch and frowned before saying, "I've got to go back out to the car and get her stuff."

Evelyn nodded and watched as he headed back to his car, returning a moment later with the baby's things. He set it on the floor and then went back for her car seat base, knowing Erika would need that as well. Finally he lowered himself to the ground to free Evie, slowly getting back to his feet with her. He held her for a moment and then reluctantly kissed her goodbye. "Be good for Grandma Cuddles. Daddy loves you," he murmured to her before handing her over.

Evelyn took the baby and House glanced around before asking, "Where's Rachel?"

"Still sleeping," she replied, cradling Evie close.

House nodded and then said, "We'll be back tomorrow because I have plans I need to be back in town for. It's just a quick trip. My neighbor is going to swing by tomorrow and pick Evie up before we get back in town. Her name is Erika and I'll get her directions sometime today."

Evelyn nodded in understanding. She pursed her lips and then touched his arm before saying, "You'll call me and let me know how things are when you get there?"

"Yes. I'll even make sure Cuddy calls you," he vowed, bypassing her to head back to Cuddy's room and grab her cell phone from the counter.

He returned a moment later and held Cuddy's phone up for her to see he'd have that too before looking at Evie and saying, "Just take care of my kid. My… kids," he amended, rolling his eyes upon doing so.

Evelyn smiled. "Grandma Cuddles at your service," she quipped with a salute.

House's mouth quirked up in a smile. "I'm glad to hear it," he said before hesitating a moment, then sighing dramatically and leaning in to press a kiss to her cheek.

Evelyn exclaimed in surprise, coloring slightly as she hadn't really expected his display of affection. She laughed when he shot her an amused smile before he about faced and went back to his car, heading for the airport.

* * *

Cuddy groaned, her head throbbing painfully as she returned to consciousness. She tried to open her eyes but they seemed sensitive to light, which she really couldn't understand as she knew she hadn't drunk enough alcohol the night before to warrant feeling as terrible as she did.

When she was finally able to peel her eyes open, she turned her head to the side to look around and her eyes widened first in shock and then in horror. She was behind bars. Worse, she was behind bars not knowing how she'd ended up here AND still in a wedding dress, though maybe that was better than the alternative if that was being naked as a jaybird. Naked as a jaybird… Cuddy groaned once more. What had she gone and done?!

* * *

"Excuse me," Cuddy said to the first police officer that came her way about a half hour after she'd woken up.

He paused outside her cell and stared at her, clearly entertained by her appearance.

She sighed and closed her eyes, pressing a hand to her forehead before asking, "Can you tell me…? Can you tell me why I'm… here?"

"You don't remember anything?" he asked, even more amused now.

She shook her head but immediately stopped as her head throbbed.

"Picked you up on the beach late last night," he informed her finally. "Ma'am, just so you know, it's not all that smart to get wasted at the beach. Especially wearing a dress like that. If you'd fallen in, you would have been fish food. That dress would have sunk you clear down to the bottom. You might wanna get after your groom for not keeping a better eye on ya."

Cuddy moaned and muttered, "There is no groom."

He raised his eyebrows and stared at her skeptically, pursing his lips.

"Can I go?" she asked after licking her overly dry lips.

"'Fraid not," he drawled. "You're being held here."

She grimaced but then couldn't help asking in a whine, "What are the charges?"

"Public Intoxication, also known as Drunk and Disorderly Conduct," he informed her.

"What do I have to do? Set bail?" Cuddy queried pathetically before her head fell forward and she sighed.

He didn't have time to answer her before she murmured, "I don't even know where my purse is right now."

"We have it," he assured her, causing her to glance back up at him in relief.

"Then can I just pay a fine or something?" she asked.

"Nope," he drawled, shaking his head. "You're being held."

"For how long?!" Cuddy demanded.

"Now, now," he admonished for her rudeness, tilting his head to the side.

Cuddy sighed but then inquired, "Officer, do I at least get to make a phone call? Do I need a lawyer?"

"Deputy," he corrected. "And what would you be wanting a lawyer for?" he asked in disbelief.

"Well, you aren't exactly clarifying how long I have to be here for," she calmly pointed out, trying to hold herself together.

He smiled teasingly then and quipped, "We're just waiting for your knight in shining armor to ride in, from what I hear."

"What?!" Cuddy asked in confusion. "My what?!"

"Your knight in shining armor," he repeated in a heavy Southern accent. "Haven't ya ever watched a fairy tale before? Someone always rides in to rescue the maiden in distress. In this case, that's you, darlin'."

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "No one even knows I'm down here," she dryly told him.

"What about your groom?" the deputy asked bemusedly. "He must know."

"There's no groom," she repeated her earlier statement.

"Ma'am," he began after eyeing her a minute. "We're not one of them liberal states. You can't get married to another woman here. Not yet anyway."

Cuddy immediately turned red, her hands slapping onto her face. "I'm NOT here to get married," she managed to mumble out.

"Well, you certainly LOOK like you are," he replied, scratching the back of his head.

Cuddy couldn't argue so she didn't say anything.

After a few seconds she asked, "Do I need to call someone?"

He expelled his breath in disbelief that she was asking again. "I already told you. Yer only here 'til your ride comes."

"But what ride?!" she said sharply. "I haven't called for a ride!"

He shook his head, his hands going to his waist, a finger going through his belt loops to either side of him. "Well someone did. That's all I know. My instructions are to keep you until your ride comes and claims you."

"Who's coming?!" she exclaimed in surprise. How would they even know who to call unless she'd been cognoscente enough when they'd found her to give them a contact. But even then, she didn't know anyone in Georgia. How likely was it that someone, such as her mom, was coming to pick her up down here?

"They don't tell me everything," the deputy replied sarcastically.

Cuddy looked up at the ceiling and then at the bars lining the cell. Finally she asked, "What time is it?"

"Almost 2 p.m. You hungry? I can get you some lunch? We're not going to make you starve," he said with a smile before quipping, "Of course, we probably can't feed you too much. Wouldn't want you to split the seams of your dress and be unable to use it for your wedding, though I gotta say, you're looking at one pricey dry-cleaning bill."

Cuddy closed her eyes and let her head fall back to rest against the wall behind her, ready to just be done with Georgia completely.

"I'm not hungry," she murmured finally, sighing with relief when the deputy wandered off without another word a minute later.

* * *

House got off the small plane he'd had to take into Savannah, Georgia, extremely annoyed and very sore from being cramped in such a small space. He was thankful though that he didn't have to go through baggage claim, as all he had with him was a carry-on and his cane, which he'd brought with him just in case he ended up needing it. Exiting the airport, he headed for the first taxi he could find, cutting off a woman who had also been heading for it, gesturing to his cane as if he really couldn't be held accountable for taking the taxi she'd wanted.

Throwing his bag inside, he slid in and then told the driver to take him to Chatham County Jail.

"Most people want to get away from jail," the man quipped, smiling at him. "You sure you want me to take you there?"

House nodded, his expression reflecting the fact that he was not amused.

The driver nodded and pulled away from the curb with no further comment.

* * *

A little while later, House climbed out of the taxi he'd taken from the airport and grabbed his overnight bag before pulling out his wallet to pay the driver. Once the taxi was halfway down the street, he closed his eyes and released his breath before making his way up to the front door of the County jail. He hoped Cuddy was still here because he'd forgotten to call back with a time of arrival and he had no interest in chasing all over the city for her, especially without a vehicle.

He entered through the double doors and headed up to the counter where a deputy was filling out some paperwork. Before he could even speak, the deputy looked up, adjusted the toothpick in his mouth, and drawled, "You here to pick up the bride we've got in the hold?"

House scoffed. "I don't know whether to say I'm glad I'm not that man or whether to ask if I can just bail that one out instead," he replied sarcastically.

"She's the only female we have in here who is waiting for a ride," the deputy solemnly declared then.

House shook his head in confusion. Had they released her? Or transferred her somewhere else? Had her condition worsened and forced them to send her to the hospital?

"I'm here to pick up Lisa Cuddy," he finally explained somberly.

"That's the one," the deputy drawled, grabbing his key ring from his pocket. "Hank," he shouted.

"Yeah?" another deputy responded, sticking his head out from an office just off the main room.

"Cover the desk for me," he instructed. "I'm going back to free the runaway bride."

Hank chuckled. "Sure thing, Jim," he agreed before his eyes shifted to House.

"You the groom?" he asked with a wide grin.

House stared at him and then rubbed his face hard before shaking his head, unable to come up with a suitable reply for that question. He had no idea what was going on but he found himself suddenly wondering what in the hell Cuddy had gone and done now.

* * *

Cuddy looked up hopefully when she heard a key in the door down the hall. She had no idea who they'd called but she would be relieved to get out of here. Her head was killing her. She glanced down at the wedding dress she was wearing and groaned, terribly embarrassed to have anyone come and find her like this. The worst part was she had no explanation that she could reasonably offer for why she was wearing a torn, dirty wedding dress in a jail cell in Savannah, Georgia. She heard feet coming in her direction and glanced up, praying it was her father and not her mother, as he'd probably be sympathetic to her situation and less likely to come down on her hard for the state she'd woken up to find herself in.

"Well, it would appear we haven't found your groom," the deputy from earlier teased as he came into view. "But I guess this fella will have to do."

Cuddy sighed and wearily declared, "I told you, I didn't get married nor am I about to get married."

And just then someone else came into view and she stared at the last person she expected they'd somehow get a hold of, her chin dropping. Even if he had entered her mind as a possibility of who they'd have called, she never for a second would have believed he'd show up to spring her.

House stared at her for a moment, taking in the smudge on her cheek, her disheveled appearance, flyaway hair, and last but not least, the wedding dress with a muddy hem and several rips here and there. Cuddy stared right back at him, mortified, not even knowing what to say.

"Should I leave you folks alone for a conjugal visit?" Deputy Jim quipped, his hands in his pockets as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet in amusement at the way they were staring at one another.

Cuddy colored slightly and looked down at her dress before covering her face with her hands and groaning.

House slowly turned to the deputy, raising an eyebrow at his words but not commenting.

When Deputy Jim finally wiped the smile from his face, House turned back to Cuddy. "Have you gotten comfortable in your cell or do you have a name and number for me so that I can call your groom while you finish determining how you're going to decorate the love nest?" he dryly inquired.

"Please just get me out of here," she begged between her fingers, not lifting her head to make eye contact with him.

House wished he could appreciate how funny this should strike him. Instead he turned and nodded to the other man to let him know he could let her out before limping off back the way he'd come in, not bothering to wait for her.

Cuddy looked up when she heard the key in the lock and the door to her cell creaking open. House was no longer visible but the deputy chuckled before saying, "Well? You gonna ride off into the sunset together or what?"

Cuddy ignored him as she quickly got to her feet and left the cell, spotting House waiting for them at the door right down the hallway. She headed his way docilely, horrified that he'd been the one to turn up in Savannah, Georgia to collect her and find her like this.

The deputy stepped around her to unlock the door, allowing House to exit with Cuddy right behind him.

"You find her car yet?" House asked.

"They parked her in back," Deputy Jim acknowledged, moving to the desk and around Hank to retrieve Cuddy's car keys and hand them over to House before passing Cuddy her purse. "Even though we're waiving charges, I still need you to sign her out," he said, pulling up a log for House to sign off on.

He scribbled his signature and then headed for the door, knowing Cuddy would follow.

"Y'all have a nice day now!" Deputy Hank called out from where he'd been watching them at the desk, a smirk on his face. "Enjoy the honeymoon!"

Cuddy glanced his way and sighed before following after House, who just walked out, not even bothering to hold the door open for her so that she wouldn't further snag the skirt of her dress. He headed around the building and spotted Cuddy's car. Unlocking it, he threw his overnight bag into the backseat before closing the door and climbing in the driver's seat.

Cuddy had a bad feeling her nightmare was far from over, even if he didn't seem as disposed towards mocking her as the deputies had been.

* * *

"Where are we going?" she quietly asked House ten minutes later as he drove through the streets of Savannah, Georgia.

He glanced in her direction and bluntly said, "I'm going home. And since I'm taking your car with me, I'm assuming you're coming with." House opted not to tell her she really had no choice since he had every intention of transporting her and then turning her over to her mother to deal with, figuring she'd probably grasp that on her own.

Cuddy hesitated a moment and finally licked her lips before murmuring, "I need to stop at the hotel and grab my things."

House nodded, not even asking her for directions, and suddenly she realized he knew exactly where to go and was actually headed in that direction, rather than towards the highway. Cuddy didn't even know what to make of that.

"How did you know I was here? Did my mom call you and ask you to come down?" she reluctantly inquired.

House's eyes remained focused on the road in front of him but after a few minutes he stopped at a red light and looked at her. "You should really update that emergency contact card in your purse," he replied blandly.

Cuddy's eyes widened noticeably. She'd forgotten all about the fact that she had House listed there, as he was closer than her parents and legally was still the person she'd listed as Medical Power of Attorney five or six years ago, having trusted him with medical decisions over anyone else should something happened to her. He was also the person she'd instinctively known would be most hell-bent on figuring out what was wrong with her, should something happen, and therein her best shot at survival should things get dicey.

House looked back at the road and when the light changed, drove to the hotel without further comment. Cuddy sat in the passenger seat quietly until he parked at the hotel's entrance to let her out. "I'll wait," he informed her while digging her cell phone out of his pocket to hand it to her. "You have until 4:30. Call your mother."

Cuddy slowly took her cell phone from him, being careful not to touch his fingers before glancing at the clock. She was surprised to find he'd given her an hour. She had fully expected five minutes. Nodding, she pushed her door open and then disentangled her wedding dress from her feet so that she could climb out of the car. She stumbled on the torn hem but managed to get inside without dropping her phone or falling.

While House went to park, Cuddy avoided the curious stares from the people working the front desk and headed for the elevator, taking it up to her room. It took her a couple minutes to locate her passkey and even longer to get it to work in the door, but finally the door opened for her and she heaved a sigh of relief after shutting it behind her before reaching for the zipper on the back of her dress. When Cuddy finally succeeded in removing it, she kicked the dress aside and then tried to remember where she'd placed the only bra she'd brought with. Her eyes fluttered shut and she moaned, cursing herself for not having thought to grab another in her haste to leave the house. It was folded up in the glove compartment of her car. There was no way she was putting this dress back on to go back for it now. Not even if she could retrieve it without House noticing.

* * *

House exhaled heavily and pulled away from the curb to go park. He was only too glad to be rid of Cuddy for an hour. He needed to try and process everything that was happening. But first he needed to return Cameron's call that had come through after he'd left the airport and which he'd put off doing so far. If he didn't, she'd probably try him again on her way home and he'd prefer not to have Cuddy there in the background for her to overhear.

House parked the car and then dialed her speed button number, waiting as it rang.

"House?" she answered a moment later. "What's with the personal day?"

House harrumphed and said, "Nothing special. Just ended up needing a day off to get some things done and since we solved the case yesterday, I figured today was as good a day as any."

"Oh, okay," she accepted. "Do you and Evie want to come over for dinner tonight? Chase and I were just planning on staying home anyway."

"Can't. Already have plans. Evie's getting some time in with her grandma whenever she can while Evelyn's in town this week," House replied easily.

"Alright. I'll let you go then. I was just about to head home," Cameron responded.

"Sounds good, Cameron. See you Monday."

"Bye House," she said, hanging up.

House hit disconnect and tucked his phone back into his pocket before checking one thing off his To-Do list, climbing out of the car, and heading inside the hotel to camp out in the lobby of the hotel while he waited for Cuddy's return.

House walked past the front desk and sank down in one of the chairs, his arms on the armrests, his head falling back. He stared at the ceiling, his thoughts on the woman somewhere in this hotel, hopefully changing into something he could live with seeing her in.

What was Cuddy doing? he asked himself then. Her attitude when he'd shown up had been at least somewhat reassuring. She'd also been recognizably embarrassed by her appearance, which said something as well. More importantly, he was reasonably confident she hadn't been TRYING to get herself arrested the night before or INTENTIONALLY risking her health by drinking while on meds. But what had she been THINKING in the first place?! Why had she come HERE?! And how dare she wear a wedding dress she'd meant to marry Lucas in while in a location that he'd held as sacred because it had been all about them?! These were all questions he didn't have answers for and wasn't sure he had any intention of asking.

* * *

Cuddy headed into the bathroom and turned on the shower before glancing at her reflection in the mirror. She groaned. Even without the dress, she was a wreck. She didn't even want to think about what House had thought when he'd seen her.

Stepping in the shower, she grabbed the soap the hotel provided and scrubbed up before washing her hair. Ten minutes later she had a towel wrapped around her and frowned before reaching for her cell phone to call her mother. She really hoped her mother would just go easy on her.

She waited as it rang but cringed when her mother somberly said, "Well. Nice of you to finally call me, Lisa."

"I… Sorry," Cuddy apologized, immediately feeling a wave of guilt. "I know I should have called you. I just… didn't want to talk about anything. I needed a few days away to get my head together and work through things."

"Lisa, I don't care what your excuse is. Your behavior is frankly, unacceptable. What are you thinking?! You can't just up and leave like that! What if something had happened to Rachel? I had no way to contact you!" Evelyn began, her tone fierce.

"You're right, you're right," Cuddy interrupted, hoping to cut the tirade short. "I wasn't thinking about that. I just figured there was no one I'd trust more with my daughter and left without any further thought."

Evelyn huffed but relented momentarily.

"How is she?" Cuddy inquired.

"She's fine. She's playing," Evelyn acknowledged briefly. "But seriously, Lisa, I really don't know where your brain is at these days. And WHAT were you THINKING, drinking when you know very well that antidepressants and alcohol do not mix?! What are you trying to do?! Cause your mother to have a heart attack?! What if something had happened to you?! Do you have ANY idea how that would have affected me?! Affected Rachel?!"

"I know!" Cuddy groaned. "I… wasn't thinking. Please mom, I don't have time to fight with you. House is downstairs waiting for me and I need to gather my things before he leaves me behind," she finished almost whiningly.

Evelyn sighed and then muttered, "He's not going to leave you. He didn't fly all the way down there just to leave you now."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that if I were you," Cuddy murmured dolefully.

"You better behave yourself on the way home," Evelyn warned. "Greg went to all that trouble to go down and get you. You better appreciate that and… if I were you, I'd seriously consider using my time with him wisely. Do you understand me?! Otherwise… If I hear that you cause him any more grief, I'll… call your father and have him drive up to give you a talking to," she threatened.

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Mom, I'm not a little girl anymore that you can lecture and punish," she said pointedly. "I'm an adult and one who has the right to make her own decisions."

"Then you better start acting like an adult," Evelyn hotly declared. "Because that's the last thing you've been acting like this week."

"I've got to go," Cuddy grumpily reminded her.

"We're going to talk about this when you get home," Evelyn stoically told her.

"Fine," Cuddy huffed. "We'll talk later. Goodbye, mom."

"Goodbye, dear," Evelyn responded automatically.

Cuddy hung up her phone and fell back on the bed, rubbing her face with her hands. Finally she moaned and forced herself to her feet to get dressed. Nothing about this trip had worked out the way she'd hoped. Instead of freeing herself from House forever, she'd wound up guaranteeing herself a long car ride home with him in the seat immediately next to her, resenting her. It was enough to make her want to cry.

* * *

House decided he'd ring Evelyn while he waited. At least if the line was busy he'd be able to trust Cuddy had called her.

"Did she call you?" House asked Evelyn immediately when she picked up.

"Yes. I just got off the phone with her," she informed him gratefully.

"Huh," he breathed out before muttering, "I thought you'd lecture her for at least an hour on her irresponsible behavior."

"Are you disappointed?" she asked, smiling into the phone.

"Some," he admitted drolly.

"Don't worry," she replied with a slight chuckle. "I have every intention of giving her a piece of my mind when she gets home."

"How's my kid hangin' in there during her first day with grandma?" House asked then.

"She's a perfect angel. She just woke up from a nap and I'm giving her a bottle right now," Evelyn assured him contentedly.

"And Rachel? What's she up to?" he inquired as he readjusted in his seat and glanced at his watch.

"She's playing with the doll you bought her, which she is calling Baby G as well," she replied in amusement. "She found a tiny bottle amongst her toys and is camped out on the couch next to me, feeding her baby while I feed her little sister."

Turning to Rachel, Evelyn said, "Want to say hi to daddy?"

She nodded and waited until Evelyn placed the phone to her mouth and then said, "Hi daddy! Me feeding Baby G."

House chuckled. "Hey kid," he greeted her. "Glad to hear it. I'm sure she's… very hungry."

There was a moment of silence and then House heard Evelyn prompt her to say goodbye.

"Bye!" Rachel said, talking on the phone not really her thing quite yet.

"Bye Rach," he responded, waiting for Evelyn to come back on.

"So are you going to drive part of the way and then get a hotel?" she asked, imagining he was exhausted.

House rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. "I don't know. We'll see."

"How does she seem to you?" Evelyn inquired. "How'd it go when you got there and picked her up?"

"You failed to tell me she took her wedding dress with her," he muttered almost accusingly then.

"I didn't even notice it was gone," she replied in confusion. "How do you know she took it with?"

"She was wearing it," House dryly explained.

"In her jail cell?" Evelyn queried in shock.

House chuckled, amused by the picture Evelyn was probably imagining right now and the oddity of Cuddy being in a jail cell in the first place. It kind of brought him back to when he'd been forced to spend a night in jail for being held in contempt after his walk-out. "Yep," he replied after a moment.

"Greg, why would she be…?"

"You expect ME to make sense of this?!" House interrupted in protest. "Oh no! If YOU want to know, YOU have to ask her."

"Well…" Evelyn began, trying to puzzle this out.

House looked up to see Cuddy exiting the elevator with her purse and a bag, thankfully dressed in jeans and wrapped in her coat, which he thought was way too warm for the temperature outside. But then, what did he really care? "I gotta go," he interjected. "She just stepped off the elevator."

"Okay, well… call me if she gives you any trouble," she instructed firmly, her lips pursing.

House smiled. "It's a deal," he replied. "Talk to you later."

"Bye dear," Evelyn said before hanging up.

House tucked his cell phone in his pocket and watched Cuddy where she stood at the front desk, signing out. When she was done, he walked right past her to the door, heading for the car. He wondered what she'd done with the wedding dress. There was no way she'd fit it in that bag. Not wanting to think any more about it, he unlocked the car and climbed in, ready to get this trip over with.

* * *

Cuddy was tired of staring out the window. They'd been in the car for two hours now and House hadn't spoken a word to her yet, not even when he'd gone through a drive-thru, ordering her a salad and baked potato without ever asking her what she wanted. She ate it all the same, her stomach growling from lack of food.

Even if House wasn't talking, Cuddy couldn't say that she'd tried to engage him in conversation. The only things she'd said to him so far were limited to "Thank you" and "Can we stop for the bathroom?" She didn't know how much more of this she could take. At least not sober, she thought to herself.

Cuddy moved around in her seat, wishing she could take her coat off. But she hadn't found opportunity to retrieve her bra from the glove box and she wasn't about to have House find out she wasn't wearing one. Things were awkward enough.

Cuddy darted a glance in his direction but he ignored her completely. Sighing, she noticed his hand lightly rubbing his thigh. Pursing her lips she finally forced herself to ask, "Do you want me to drive?"

House didn't even look at her. "No," he muttered.

"But House, if you're in pain…" she argued concernedly.

"I'm not," he replied, casting a glance her way, his hand automatically stilling on his leg.

She turned and looked back out the window, not knowing what to say to him. Being here, having him so close and yet millions of miles away… It was agony.

She bit her lip, trying to think of something to say to break the ice. "How are you?" she finally asked, her voice almost a whisper.

House rolled his eyes. "Cuddy, don't talk," he grumpily replied.

"House," she pleaded, shooting him a helpless look.

He didn't say anything, just firming his mouth into a straight line.

She frowned and then murmured, "Why did you even come? Why didn't you just leave me sitting there or… send my mother or something? If you can't even stand to be in the same car as me, why would you bother yourself with me?"

House didn't answer; frustrated with himself for coming when she was right. He didn't want to be in this car with her and reality was that he should have sent Evelyn down rather than coming himself. But he'd been… Well, House didn't know what he'd been. He didn't want to think about it.

Cuddy sighed, looking out the windshield. Finally her eyes fell to her lap and then she turned to him, eyeing him sadly. "Do you ever think about Georgia?" she asked softly. "Do you ever think about…?"

House cut her off. "Don't! Don't talk about Georgia with me!" he warned, wanting his memories left alone and intact, not sifted through.

Cuddy huffed out a breath, irritated now. "Answer the question," she demanded.

"No," House lied to shut her up. "I don't. Never."

Cuddy felt like he'd slapped her. She gaped at him a moment, wanting to question him further. But she turned away regretfully, pulling her coat tighter around her as she leaned against the door. Georgia meant nothing to him? He NEVER thought about their time there? Ever? Cuddy closed her eyes, pained.

* * *

House pulled into a gas station half an hour later, climbing out to fill up the tank. Cuddy waited until he turned away before opening the glove box hurriedly and grabbing the bra she'd stuck there. Tucking it in her purse, she opened her door and headed into the gas station, relieved when she finally slipped into the stall and could put it on.

She left the bathroom a few minutes later and headed back to the car, not seeing House anywhere. She imagined he'd gone in to use the bathroom as well.

Cuddy sighed when she found the car locked. Just great. She glanced around in annoyance as she waited for him, irritated that she was dependent upon House to let her into her own car. The situation was enough to drive anyone to drink.

And then her eyes fell on a bar across the street. She stared at it, feeling like she could really use a drink to make it through the ride home. Even if House would kill her for it.

Cuddy did actually consider the wisdom of what she was thinking about doing. But she hadn't taken her pills since the morning before so she doubted she was risking much. And anyway, it wasn't like she had to drive. What was one drink? She'd already eaten so it wasn't like she was going to have a drink on an empty stomach. Really, what was the harm? It would at least put her at ease in his presence.

Cuddy glanced back inside the gas station and saw House wandering the aisles, probably looking for something to snack on. She looked wistfully back at the bar but knew it would only get her in trouble. Sighing, she headed back into the gas station and approached House.

He looked her way briefly but said nothing.

"Can I have the keys?" she asked, aiming for politeness though she doubted she came across quite right to be described as polite.

"No," he negated instantly.

"House, I just want to get in the car," she muttered, shaking her head in irritation.

"You'll have to wait," he stated stubbornly, just not wanting to give her an inch.

Cuddy clenched her jaw and bit out, "Fine. I'm going for a drink," before whirling around.

"Yeah, because drinking really worked well for you last night," House scoffed as she stormed away, shaking his head when he heard the bell ring as she exited. He glanced up and stared out the window after her, watching her head towards the car. But she didn't stop and he straightened, his eyes widening as he saw she really was serious about going for a drink, running across the road towards the bar he hadn't even noticed when there was a gap in traffic.

House exhaled in anger and then headed for the door to chase after her.

"Hey! You need to pay for that!" the guy at the register called to him.

House stopped in his tracks, realizing that he had to pay for his gas as well as what he had in his hands. Turning, he made his way to the register and quickly paid before moving as fast as he could in the direction of the car, throwing his snacks in the backseat before climbing in and hitting the steering wheel in frustration when he pulled out of the gas station only to be forced into coming to a stop as the light changed.

He growled menacingly and then jerked the car across the street when traffic cleared, lurching into the parking lot and a space near the door a moment later. Getting out of the car, he seethed, trying to calm himself down before he went inside so he didn't kill Cuddy. Because right now, he wanted nothing more than to wring her neck.

* * *

Cuddy entered the bar and headed for the counter, catching the eye of the bartender as she took a seat next to a blonde in a cowboy hat who was sipping on a margarita. She really didn't know what she was doing. But she was so frustrated with how this week had gone for her and how incapable she was of being in House's presence that she just didn't care anymore. "Can I have a couple shots of Tequila?" she heard herself request.

The bartender nodded and reached for a bottle to prepare her drink. She grabbed the first shot and downed it, causing the woman next to her to look at her in surprise.

Cuddy just shrugged and reached for the other shot. Tequila was not normally something she drank but when she did, it always boosted her confidence and made her feel ready to take on the world. She'd need that to make it through a trip back to New Jersey with House next to her.

Cuddy tossed back the second shot, certain that House was probably on his way to hunt her down. She looked at the woman beside her but her eyes were no longer focused on Cuddy. Turning to the bartender, Cuddy hesitated but said, "Can I have one more?"

He scrutinized her a moment, glancing at the two shots he'd already given her and which she'd downed in a couple minutes.

"I'm not driving," she reassured him quickly.

He still hesitated.

Cuddy pouted and then dug her credit card out of her purse, extending it to him. "Just one more," she negotiated. "After that, I'll call it quits."

He accepted her credit card and nodded, giving her another shot and her credit card back a moment later.

A man came to stand at Cuddy's left and she glanced at him, quickly realizing that he was checking her out. She turned back to her drink to avoid his gaze, reaching for it. But before she could drink it, the lady on the other side of her whistled softly under her breath and Cuddy shot her a curious look before turning to see what she was looking at.

And there was House, standing near the jukebox which was playing Country music, his intense blue gaze searching the room for her.

"Well, there's a cool drink of water if ever I saw one," the woman beside her drawled. "And I must say, I'm feeling suddenly parched."

Cuddy turned her attention to the woman in surprise. And then a fist formed in Cuddy's stomach at the lust in the blonde's eyes as she gave House the once-over, tracing her tongue over her bottom lip seductively.

Cuddy's eyes narrowed but she looked back at House quickly before muttering, "Believe me, you don't want that one. He's candy coated misery. Once he's in your blood, he's like a disease. You'll never be able to escape him."

"Sugar," she replied, looking back at Cuddy and raising her eyebrows. "The last thing I want is to escape him."

Cuddy's grip tightened on her shot glass. She suddenly felt sick to her stomach. And it wasn't the alcohol. It was pure possessiveness over a man she apparently considered hers.

-----

"_**You better take it from me**_

_**That boy is like a disease  
You're running, you're trying, you're trying to hide  
And you're wondering why you can't get free  
He's like a curse, he's like a drug  
You get addicted to his love  
You wanna get out but he's holding you down  
'Cause you can't live without one more touch**_

_**He's a good time cowboy casanova  
Leaning up against the record machine  
Looks like a cool drink of water  
But he's candy-coated misery  
He's the devil in disguise  
A snake with blue eyes  
And he only comes out at night  
Gives you feelings that you don't want to fight  
You better run for your life**_

_**I see that look on your face  
You ain't hearing what I say  
So I'll say it again  
'Cause I know where you been  
And I know how it ends  
You can't get away  
Don't even look in his eyes  
He'll tell you nothing but lies  
And you wanna believe  
But you won't be deceived  
If you listen to me  
And take my advice**_

_**He's a good time cowboy casanova  
Leaning up against the record machine  
Looks like a cool drink of water  
But he's candy-coated misery  
He's the devil in disguise  
A snake with blue eyes  
And he only comes out at night  
Gives you feelings that you don't want to fight  
You better run for your life**_

**_Run, run away  
Don't let him mess with your mind  
He'll tell you anything you want to hear  
He'll break your heart  
It's just a matter of time  
But just remember_**

**_He's a good time cowboy casanova  
Leaning up against the record machine  
Looks like a cool drink of water  
But he's candy-coated misery  
He's the devil in disguise  
A snake with blue eyes  
And he only comes out at night  
Gives you feelings that you don't want to fight  
You better run for your life_**

**_Oh you better run for your life_**

_**Oh you better run for your life"**_

* * *

Song: "Cowboy Casanova" (Carrie Underwood)


	53. Hell On The Heart

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Oh, Cuddy! What are you doing?! Review, please!!! Oh, and I'm being generous and giving you 2 chapters! Happy New Years!)_

* * *

House stood near the jukebox, searching the room for Cuddy. He finally spotted her up at the bar and his lips tightened at the way the man beside her was leaning towards her, clearly interested in taking her home with him. House headed that way through the packed Friday night crowd, further irritated by that fact. His eyes narrowed when he saw her toss back a shot glass. He was really going to kill her, he decided then.

Reaching for her arm as he arrived at her side, House tugged on her, causing her to jerk slightly on the stool before she swiveled around to face him. "What?" she demanded.

"Get out in the car. Now!" he warned, ignoring the blonde who was gazing back and forth between them.

"You could have told me he was taken," she murmured in a pout before pushing off her seat and walking off, Cuddy's eyes flickering after her before looking back at House.

Her breath caught in her throat at the look in his eyes and she recoiled slightly.

"Is this guy bothering you?" the man leaning against the counter next to her drawled.

Cuddy glanced at him, wide-eyed, but House rolled his eyes, ignoring him before repeating, "Out in the car!"

"I don't know who you think you are, but you can't talk to a lady like that," the man informed him, setting what remained of his whiskey aside before straightening.

Cuddy looked at him in concern but before she could intercede, House shot back, "Well, when I see a lady, I'll be sure to remember your advice."

Cuddy's eyes narrowed at House but her expression quickly morphed as she stared on in horror when the man next to her pushed away from the counter and took a swing at House.

House saw it coming and almost welcomed a bar fight, more than willing to take out his aggression on someone right now. But he moved just quickly enough to avoid the brunt of the impact of the man's fist as it connected with his face, turning it into more of a glancing blow, though it was still enough to knock him off balance and send him crashing to the floor. House lay there for a moment, trying to show some self-restraint and remind himself that he couldn't afford to be locked up tonight and that he had a daughter at home to get back to. Besides, he wasn't much on personally getting involved in physical fights. Unless it was to solve a case. He was more the type to let his words do the fighting for him.

At the same time, Cuddy quickly pushed herself off her stool and knelt at his side, reaching for him worriedly.

House pushed her away and roughly protested, "I don't want your help."

She stared at him, wounded, but backed away enough to give him room while remaining between him and the other guy.

House slowly got to his feet, fully aware of the number of eyes on him, waiting to see what he'd do. He didn't do anything. House glanced at Cuddy and then focused on the man who had punched him. Quietly he gruffly stated, "You can have her. But a word to the wise: she's heaven on the eyes but I promise you, she's hell on the heart."

With that he turned and headed off through the crowd, Cuddy staring after him. She quickly scrambled to grab her purse and scribble her signature on her receipt, adding a tip before she turned and made her way through the crowd, following after him.

* * *

House unlocked the car and pulled his door open, climbing in and starting the engine before reaching for his seat belt and buckling in. He hesitated at that point, knowing he couldn't really just leave Cuddy stranded. Bringing a hand to his face, he prodded his jaw, aware that he was going to have at least some bruising.

The passenger side door opened and Cuddy got in. House didn't even spare her a glance. He waited just long enough for her door to close before he put the car in reverse and threw a quick look back to make sure no one was in his way. Then he tore out of the parking lot, getting back onto the highway a moment later before he stopped driving so erratically.

Cuddy stared at him, biting her lip, the alcohol in her belly swirling at how he'd wrenched the car back out on the road.

Before she could say anything he demanded, "Are you trying to kill yourself?!"

She looked at him in surprise but wordlessly shook her head.

"Cuddy, so help me," he muttered before angrily asking, "How much did you have to drink?"

Cuddy sighed. Instead of answering directly, she softly said, "I haven't taken any pills since yesterday morning, House. As stupid as you might think I am, I did consider that before I entered the bar."

House shook his head in frustration but he was somewhat appeased that she at least realized she couldn't mix the two. Silence filled the car for several minutes but then House reached into the backseat and grabbed the bottle of Coke he'd purchased at the gas station. Instead of uncapping it to take a drink, he pressed it to his jaw, biting back a grimace.

"Are you okay?" Cuddy asked, unbuckling her seat belt to slide across the front seat towards him in hopes of seeing the opposite side of his face better.

"Get back in your seatbelt," he said sharply. "I'm fine. What I don't need is your help. Or a ticket."

Cuddy ignored him, feeling the effects of the alcohol more fully as she brazenly reached a hand out to touch his face. "Let me look at it," she murmured, breathing in the smell of him while she was this close to him as if she was a starving waif in a bakery.

House released his hold on the steering wheel to push her hand away. "I'm a doctor too, you know," he grunted before grabbing the steering wheel once more. "I'll be fine. Now put your seatbelt back on."

Cuddy didn't move, staring at him, her eyes half-lidded. Suddenly there was something really sexy about how he'd stalked into the bar and bossed her around. It didn't make logical sense but her breathing changed slightly anyhow, her thoughts returning to the bar and the woman who had eyed House with just obvious interest and desire before Cuddy remembered House's words as he'd walked away.

She bit her lip and softly asked, "You really think I'm heaven on the eyes?"

House looked briefly at her in irritation, thinking she had no idea what she was getting herself into in messing with him right now. "I think you make my life hell," he argued vehemently.

"And yet you think I'm desirable," she whispered, unable to stop herself from leaning towards him.

House rolled his eyes but he was otherwise occupied and didn't immediately respond as he looked to his left to see if he could move over a lane. He felt her shift on the seat beside him and assumed she was returning to her seat to put her seatbelt back on. However, instead of moving away Cuddy had scooted closer and when he turned to face forward once he was safely in the other lane, he became all too aware of this as her hot breath landed against his neck seconds before her lips connected with his skin, parting to trace her tongue against his flesh and taste him.

House swerved and dropped the bottle of Coke in his lap to bring that hand to the steering wheel as well so he didn't crash into another car. He then angrily yelled, "What are you doing?!"

"What do you think I'm doing?" she murmured against his neck before sucking at his skin, now surrendering to a happy haze.

House couldn't believe this! His shock and indignation quickly wore off though when one of her hands landed on his chest and slowly crawled downward. Cuddy was going to get them both killed. Then she'd deny him the pleasure of killing her himself.

He quickly dropped his right hand from the wheel and caught her wrist before it reached his abdomen, wrenching it from his chest and then releasing it to plant his on her breastbone, shoving her hard back towards her seat, tearing her mouth off his neck where she'd been alternating between sucking and laving at his skin.

Cuddy fell back against the door and her head hit the glass enough to give her a headache. She stared at him, not comprehending why he'd pushed her away. Without any hesitation due to the alcohol flowing in her blood, more than she'd allowed herself in one sitting in years, Cuddy asked, "House, why fight it? I want this. And you've never been able to resist me. You must want it to. Let me remind you of the past. Let me remind you of what we used to have. I want one more taste of what we've had together. Can you deny wanting the same?"

House threw a thoroughly disgusted look her way before shifting lanes to take the nearest exit he could and pull off the highway to give her a piece of his mind.

The car jerked to a stop and it was just enough of a sudden movement for Cuddy's stomach to heave, even though she had somehow braced herself in time to avoid going flying again. She quickly turned and shoved her door open, leaning out to retch while House climbed out from his side and paced, absolutely furious. He heard her puking then and turned around to stare back at the car in bafflement. She was totally blasted, he realized.

House expelled a breath, shaking his head. He seriously doubted Cuddy had drunk so much in such a short span of time as she obviously had tonight, in quite a while. His outrage calmed a degree, accepting that he hadn't ever seen her like this and that perhaps her behavior was at least partly due to her state of inebriation. He finally moved back towards the car, coming around to her side to open the back door and dig through it, looking for something to offer her to clean herself up with. She was lucky enough to have gotten sick on the ground outside her door, rather than over herself. House grabbed a Kleenex box and tossed it over the seat towards her feet before digging through his overnight bag for the small bottle of mouthwash he'd brought with him. Locating it, he climbed back out of the car and then looked down at her before reaching for the gallon of water he'd spotted during his quest.

Uncapping it, House smiled for the first time since he'd gotten on the plane before reaching for her to hold her in place, dumping the thing over her head.

Cuddy sputtered and tried to get free but House had a good grip on her neck, keeping her head down. He released her only when the jug was half-empty.

Cuddy wretched her head up, practically seething, water spraying everywhere as her hair whipped about.

"House!" she yelled, her eyes locking on him as the water put an end to her drunken haze even more than the vomiting had.

He wiped water droplets from his face and shrugged, not caring. "You had puke in your hair," he explained casually as he returned the jug to the backseat. "The Kleenex box is by your feet," he pointed out. "Wipe your face."

She reached for it and House left her side to go back to the driver seat, popping the trunk to see what she had inside. Grabbing a child's beach towel, he tossed it at her door before shutting the trunk and Cuddy took it to rub her head with and soak up any extra moisture that hadn't already seeped into her clothes or wasn't currently coursing down her skin. When she was done with the towel, House took it back and chucked it into the backseat before holding his mouthwash out to her. She took it reluctantly and he gruffly muttered, "Don't swallow it" before going around the front of the car to get back into the driver's seat, shutting his door behind him.

"Remember," he blandly told her as he waited for her to swish and spit out the mouthwash. "If you throw up again, this is your car."

Cuddy turned and scowled at him before shutting her door and throwing his mouthwash at him.

House caught it effortlessly and put it in his pocket before he stuck the key in the ignition to start the car. But he only pulled the car up the road another ten feet before he shut the engine off. House popped the trunk, climbed back out, and went around the car to clear out the backseat. When it was empty, he pulled Cuddy's door open.

She stared at him and he gestured for her to get out. "You've been demoted," he informed her wearily. "I'm relegating you to riding in the backseat."

Cuddy glared at him but stumbled out, House catching her before she could fall. She jerked away from him and got in the backseat, shivering slightly.

House noticed and rolled his eyes but grabbed a winter emergency blanket from the trunk, along with her bag, throwing them down on the seat next to her before shutting the doors and the trunk. Climbing in the driver's seat, he started the engine, turned up the heat, and pulled back onto the road, making his way to the nearby ramp leading back onto the highway, fumbling with the dial to the radio before raking a hand thru his hair.

* * *

House looked tiredly at the clock and decided it was time to stop for the night. It was just after midnight and while they'd really only made it half-way home, he needed to get some sleep. Taking an exit, he drove to the first hotel he could find and parked in the parking lot before glancing back to check on Cuddy. She'd fallen asleep not long after they'd gotten back on the road, sprawled out in the backseat. He stared at her a moment, something clenching in his gut at the realization that despite how much he would have preferred to be home with Evie right now, even with Cuddy's hair all frizzy and sticking to her face, drool trailing out the corner of her mouth where it was pressed against the seat, he could still look at her and feel… something stir within him.

Sighing, he looked away and shook his head before shoving his door open to grab his bag from the trunk and hers from the backseat. Then he jostled her shoulder with one hand until she blearily opened her eyes and tried to focus on him. "Come on," he muttered. "Get out."

Cuddy did as he told her to without argument, assuming they were stopping for a bathroom break or something. But she made no objection when she caught sight of the hotel, more than ready to crawl into a bed.

The automatic doors opened and House stepped through them with Cuddy trailing behind. He asked for a room with two double beds and signed for it before accepting the key and turning to Cuddy, giving her a push towards the elevator when he realized she was just barely conscious. Once they reached the hotel room, House swiped the key and opened the door, waiting for Cuddy to go inside before he followed behind to throw their bags on the beds.

Cuddy headed for the bathroom and he watched her go before grabbing his cell phone and going online to type out directions to Cuddy's house for Erika, e-mailing them to her with the request that she pick her up by 11 the next morning. House figured if they left by 6 a.m., they'd get to Cuddy's by 12. Sending the message, he called down to ask the front desk for a wake-up call at 5:30.

Cuddy came out of the bathroom and House grabbed his bag before heading into the bathroom, being sure to lock the door behind him so that he could shower in peace. By the time he came out, Cuddy was under the covers in one of the beds, sound asleep. He headed over to her, going all the way around the bed to secure the comforter and sheets under the mattress so that she'd be pretty well pinned in there and less of a threat to the disruption of his own sleep, the last thing he wanted being to wake up with her in his bed.

House then brushed his teeth, his hand rubbing at the slight mark her mouth had left on his neck, shaking his head wryly but grateful at the same time that it wasn't too noticeable. He rolled his eyes before studying the bruise on his jaw, huffing out a breath as he tried to contemplate how he was going to dismiss that when Wilson saw him the next day. Finally he hit the light switch and headed for the other bed, shoving the sheets aside to climb in, hoping he wouldn't regret not stopping for duct tape to restrain Cuddy even further than he had.

* * *

Cuddy woke up in the middle of the night and it took her awhile to realize where she was and that it was House's snoring that had disturbed her slumber. She groaned and then whined, "House."

"What?" he croaked after a minute of her saying his name repeatedly, dimly entering consciousness.

"You're snoring," she complained.

"Deal with it," he grumpily muttered, turning over onto his side.

Cuddy lay there a while, trying to go back to sleep. But then she decided to get up and go to the bathroom first. However, when she tried to get up, she couldn't move.

House was somewhat aware of her attempts to free herself but ignored her until she worriedly said, "I can't get up."

"Good," he moaned. "Go back to sleep."

"What did you do?" she asked pointedly then, coming fully awake.

"Just made sure you wouldn't molest me in my sleep," he grunted, burying his face into his pillow.

"House, I have to go to the bathroom," she muttered after a moment of considering his words and trying to process them through the headache that was suddenly stealing over her.

"Tough," he mumbled, lifting his head to look at the clock. "It's 4. You'll have to wait another hour and a half."

"You can't physically restrain me," she protested. "That's illegal."

"I can't?" he grumbled. "I thought you said you couldn't move? Seems to me I already have."

"House!" she hissed, trying to work her way free now.

"Trust me," he muttered. "It's for your own good, just as much as for mine."

Finally she stopped squirming and threatened, "If you don't let me free, I am going to keep talking until you get up, even if I have to do it until morning."

"Anything but that," he snarked, pulling the blankets up and over his head, quickly tuning her out and falling back asleep.

Cuddy realized that he wasn't listening to her when he began to snore again. She started kicking then, really needing to use the facilities. She finally managed to worm her way out near the bottom of the bed but it took some doing. Running to the bathroom, she relieved herself and washed her hands before going back to her bed, struggling to get the sheets free so that she could climb back in.

Cuddy eyed his bed, genuinely tempted to crawl in there with him. In the end she decided she didn't want to die and headed to the bottom of her bed to work the sheets loose from that point until she could climb back in, chucking her spare pillow at him and causing his snoring to cease even if it wasn't an accurate enough throw to wake him, before she huffed and then went back to sleep.

* * *

The phone rang at 5:30 a.m. and House reached for it, blinking blearily. He grunted out something indecipherable and hung it back up, slowly using his arms to lever himself up and out of the bed, stretching once he was on his feet. He noticed the extra pillow on his bed and it took him a moment to remember Cuddy waking him up to gripe about something. She must have managed to get free on her own. At least enough to throw a pillow at him.

He grabbed it and whipped it hard at her. "Get up," he grunted when she immediately lurched upright, her hair askew.

House headed into the bathroom and peed, flushing before heading to the sink to wash his hands and brush his teeth. Cuddy was waiting at the door when he came out and moved past her muttering, "Don't take all day."

Cuddy frowned but went into the bathroom and showered, thoroughly confused by House and whatever was going on between them. She still had feelings for him. She knew that. But what she didn't know was how he felt about her. And she just wanted to know where they stood. One minute he was angry, the next he was bordering on bantering with her as if they were back in the days of PPTH. It made no sense at all. Cuddy groaned and turned the shower temperature up until it stung, wishing she could read his mind.

* * *

House grabbed his bag and then left the room to go down to the lobby. He went out to the car and threw his bag in before he returned inside. Since the breakfast area wasn't open this early, he just headed to the coffee machine and poured himself a cup before heading to the chair near the front windows to get some much needed time alone.

What was he doing? he couldn't help asking himself. How had he gone from being furious with her to taking care of her to bickering in the middle of the night? House groaned, took another sip of his coffee, and then squeezed his eyes closed as if he could block out the mess he was in just as easily. How was it that he could feel so many different things for the same person? He hated that. He didn't want Cuddy in his life, she didn't fit in his life, nor did he in believe she deserved to be in his life in any way, shape, or form. He'd moved on. He'd moved past her. He'd built a whole different life for himself that didn't require her to play any part in it. He wasn't even the same person he'd been all those years when they'd worked together at PPTH.

But spending time with her like this, stepping foot someplace he'd managed to hold sacred all this time, and being around her in general; it was all one very bad idea because it threw him off his game. Somehow there remained parts of him that reacted to her quite naturally as he once had. Especially when his guard was down as it had been in the middle of the night.

House stared at his reflection in the window and reminded himself he just had to get her back to her mother and then he'd be free of her. It was his own fault for coming in the first place. He had been better off in his own territory where he had his shields up and defenses firmly entrenched. Maybe he'd finally learn from his mistakes now. Whatever Cuddy had once been to him, he needed to deal with the fact that this wasn't the same woman. This woman was just a big pain in the ass. One he'd be only too glad to turn over to someone else, allowing her to wreck havoc on their hearts instead of his own.

-----

"_**No if, and's, but's or maybe's  
So you wanna be her baby  
I can read your face like a book  
Yeah it looks easy to love her**_

_**But believe me brother  
It's harder than it looks**_

_**She's as pretty as a picture  
Every bit as funny as she is smart  
Got a smile that'll hold you together  
And a touch that'll tear you apart  
When she's yours she brings the sunshine  
When she's gone the world goes dark  
Yeah she's heaven on the eyes  
But boy she's hell on the heart**_

_**Yeah she's good when she's bad  
She's cute when she's mad  
And she does all the wrong things right  
Yeah boy it's a fact when they're made like that  
You ain't ever gonna sleep at night**_

_**She's as pretty as a picture  
Every bit as funny as she is smart  
Got a smile that'll hold you together  
And a touch that'll tear you apart  
When she's yours she brings the sunshine  
When she's gone the world goes dark  
Yeah she's heaven on the eyes  
But boy she's hell on the heart**_

_**Once you feel her touch**_

_**And you've felt that rush  
It's gonna mess up your head  
But here's the kicker son  
Your old ticker's gonna**_

_**Beat you half to death**_

_**She's as pretty as a picture  
Every bit as funny as she is smart  
Got a smile that'll hold you together  
And a touch that'll tear you apart  
When she's yours she brings the sunshine  
When she's gone the world goes dark  
Yeah she's heaven on the eyes  
But boy she's hell on the heart  
Yeah she's hell on the heart"**_

* * *

Song: "Hell On The Heart" (Eric Church)


	54. Missed My Chance

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Okay - teaser time! One word: "Daddy!" Boy, we're in trouble!)_

* * *

Cuddy left the bathroom and looked around, surprised to find House absent. She put her things together to go but then waited a few minutes before realizing his bag was gone and sighing, figuring he just expected her to meet him downstairs.

The minute she exited the elevator, House pushed off the wall and headed up to the counter to turn in their room key. He refilled his coffee cup before heading outside, Cuddy walking quietly beside him. They got in the car and House drove off, stopping at a gas station down the road.

"Your car, your trip; you fill the tank," he muttered before heading to the McDonalds next door to grab some breakfast. Cuddy watched him go, realizing that he was distancing himself from her even more so and not liking it at all. Instead of waiting for him to return, she drove over there after grabbing an apple and a banana from the gas station, along with a water bottle so that she could take her pills, already feeling bereaved by his cool exterior.

Cuddy entered McDonalds to buy a fruit and yogurt parfait, handing him the keys as he passed her at the door. But she was surprised when she returned to the car to find he was sitting in the passenger seat, apparently willing to let her take the wheel. Cuddy frowned unhappily, which struck her as ridiculous since it was her car in the first place and why wouldn't she want to drive? She got in the driver's seat, reaching for her purse to take her pills before starting the car up and pulling out.

House noticed that she took her pills but he had decided he just didn't care anymore what she did and made no mention of it, focusing instead on his sausage and egg biscuit. He drank his orange juice and then shoved it back into the empty McDonalds bag before polishing off the last of his sandwich and eating his hashbrowns. Cuddy said nothing, despite the fact that the greasy smell of his food made her stomach a bit nauseous.

When House was done he wiped his hands on a napkin and then reclined the seat, closing his eyes and putting in his earphones to listen to music on his iPod.

Cuddy watched him out of the corner of her eye and she bit her lip before glancing at him, her eyes sweeping slowly over his features while she waited for the light to change so that she could pull back on the highway. He looked good. He looked really good. Except for the small bruise on his cheek that she could make out through the scruff on his face.

She wondered if she'd be able to touch him without waking him up if he fell asleep. Her hands just itched to trace his features but she doubted she could get away with it. The car behind her honked just then and she startled to life, her eyes going back to the road before House could potentially catch her staring at him. Pulling onto the highway, she tried to tell herself that the man next to her really was trouble. But for some reason, all she could think about was how much she missed his brand of trouble.

* * *

House woke up, surprised that he'd drifted off, and glanced at the clock to notice it was almost eight. He brought his chair upright and yawned before staring out his window. He was caught off guard when Cuddy spoke.

Her eyes remained on the road but Cuddy had spent the last hour and a half trying to work through things and she just needed some answers. Straightening her shoulders, she asked, "Why did you come to Georgia?"

House turned to look at her, frowning. "You know the answer to that. I got a call. The sheriff asked me to come down and retrieve you."

"You could have sent someone else," she mumbled. "Why did you come?"

"Did you want someone else?" he asked speculatively before dryly quipping, "Tell me who I should send next time in case there's a repeat performance."

"Why didn't you just send my mother, House?" Cuddy pressed, trying a different tactic.

"She had Rachel," he finally replied. But he couldn't really leave it at that because she could argue he had a baby himself, not that she would, since she hadn't even brought Evie up this whole time. Irritated now, he added, "I came as a favor to your mother. I didn't know what I was going to find so I didn't know if it was something she could handle."

"They didn't tell you how I was?" she asked in surprise, glancing his way.

House rolled his eyes. "I wasn't concerned by what they told me. I was concerned about your reasoning and mental status."

"You were concerned about me?" Cuddy inquired, biting her lip as she looked at him, her expression triggering warning bells in his brain because it bordered on hopeful and he wasn't going anywhere near that.

"I was concerned about your mother," he chose to say instead. "She's been freaking out since you left."

"You knew I was gone before you got the call?" she asked then in shock.

"What is this, Cuddy? Twenty Questions?" House defensively bit out. "Where are you going with this? Just ask me what you want to ask me and get it over with."

She turned her eyes back to the road and five minutes passed before she finally closed her eyes briefly, reopening them and forcing herself to ask, "How do you feel about me?"

House sat a little straighter in his seat, adjusting it so that it was fully upright. His jaw clenched as he sat there, staring straight ahead, not offering her an immediate answer.

Cuddy didn't think he was going to give her one once ten minutes of silence passed between them.

Finally he sighed dramatically and evenly muttered, "I don't understand the question."

She looked at him like it ought to be pretty clear but he shook his head.

"That's not what I mean," he dryly replied before adding, "I'm saying there's no point to asking. You've made your decisions and I've made mine. What do you want from me?"

Cuddy glanced down at her lap but then murmured, "I don't know. I guess I just wondered where we stood."

House hadn't really meant it as a question to be answered. Her answer just left him feeling confused and more than a little frustrated.

"There is no 'we,' Cuddy," he pronounced sharply. "There is you and there is me. But there is no we. 'We' requires a definition. There's no relationship between us anymore. You aren't my boss. You aren't my friend. You aren't anything. You are just you. And I'm here because someone had to come down and get you. But in a few hours, you and I will return to Princeton and I'll go back to my life and you'll go back to yours. That's the way things are and the way things should be. Unless you are trying to tell me that you want back in where my kid is concerned and let me just tell you right now…"

"No," she immediately objected, jerking the wheel with the force of her reaction as she interrupted him.

"Well, good," he angrily fumed, turning away from her. "You aren't needed or wanted."

The car became deathly silent in the aftermath of a conversation they both regretted having, House seething and Cuddy trembling, both with their own reasons for how they felt in that moment and the strength with which they felt their reactions.

* * *

House climbed out of the car at a rest stop two hours later and waited for Cuddy to head off in the direction of the bathroom before calling Evelyn. "How's my baby?" he immediately asked when she picked up.

"I think she's missing you," she admitted. "She was a little cranky this morning when she woke up. But overall she's been really good. She's sleeping right now."

"Good," House acknowledged. "I'm going to call Erika and make sure she got my e-mail but she should be there within the next hour."

"Are you okay?" Evelyn asked then, trying to mask that she felt a little let down that today wouldn't be the day her daughter met Georgia. "You don't sound quite normal."

"I've never been normal," he wryly quipped.

Evelyn didn't reply and he finally brushed her concern off, dismissively saying, "I'm just tired."

She opted to let it go, determining that she'd decide for herself when she saw him. "You'll be here in a couple hours?" she inquired instead.

"More or less," he agreed.

"I'll see you then, I guess," she murmured thoughtfully.

"Okay," he replied. "Thanks for taking care of Evie for me."

Evelyn smiled into the phone. "You know I'm loving every minute of it!"

"Bye, Grandma Cuddles," he replied then, a corner of his mouth coming up.

"Bye, Greg," she said.

House hit disconnect and dialed Erika's speed dial number, glancing up to see Cuddy on her way back.

"Hey House," Erika greeted when she saw his name on her Caller ID.

"Hey," he replied, turning away to run a hand through his hair.

"Are you alright?" she inquired, puzzled by his short response.

"People keep asking me that," he dryly responded.

"Is there a reason why they should be?" Erika asked speculatively.

House pursed his lips but heard Cuddy approaching and just asked, "Did you get my e-mail? You'll go get her for me?"

"Yeah, I got it first thing this morning," she quickly informed him. "Trevor and I were about to leave and head that way. She knows I'm coming?"

House heard Cuddy's door shut after she climbed in.

"Yeah. Evelyn'll be expecting you. Oh. And listen," House thought to say, "You have my spare key so feel free to go in my house if she's out of anything. The diaper bag should be pretty well-stocked but you never know."

"Okay," she agreed.

"And make sure her car seat is firmly locked into place," he couldn't help but add.

Erika smiled at his concern. "Don't worry. I'll take good care of her," she assured.

House reached for the car door, opening it to climb in. "Thanks Erika," he replied with a half-smile, sighing.

"You're welcome. Drive home safe," she instructed.

"I'll see you soon," he responded before hanging up. He shut his door and buckled his seatbelt then, ready to just get back on the road because it would bring him that much closer to home and all he had waiting for him there.

* * *

Erika. Cuddy had never heard that name pass House's lips before. But as he'd climbed in, she'd heard him thank someone named Erika, his voice soft and laced with fondness before saying he'd see her soon. Somehow she knew that was the woman he'd been with at PPTH. She bit her lip, trying to keep tears at bay, desperate to hide her reaction to House's obvious affection for a woman who wasn't herself. She'd almost forgotten about her until this moment. Now she just couldn't help but recognize how stupid it had been to ask how he felt about her. Clearly he truly had moved on and beyond her.

Cuddy pulled the car back out onto the highway, heading for home, just wanting to get this drive over with.

* * *

There was a knock at the front door and Evelyn opened it with Evie in her arms to find a woman about Lisa's age standing there.

"I assume you're Erika," she inquired, gesturing for her to come in.

"Yes. And you must be Evelyn. Nice to meet you," Erika said politely.

"It's nice to meet you too. You're Greg's neighbor?" Evelyn asked, adjusting the baby in her arms.

"Yes, I am," Erika admitted, reaching out to stroke the baby's head.

"Her car seat is right there," Evelyn informed her, pointing to where it sat by the wall.

Erika reached for it and picked it up to take it back out with her. "Okay. I'll go put it in the car and then come back for her," she replied.

"That would be great. I'll get her ready to go," Evelyn acknowledged, turning around to head into the living room and slip her granddaughter in her snowsuit.

Erika went outside and attached the car seat to the safety latches in her car, glancing at Trevor who sat in the seat next to where Evie would be. "Are you getting hungry?" she asked as she worked to buckle it into place.

"Yeah. Can we get some Taco Bell on the way home?" he asked hopefully.

"Sure," she responded with a smile. "I'll be right back. I've just got to get the baby and her things."

"I'm not going anywhere, mom," Trevor quipped.

"That's good. You don't have your license," she teased before shutting the door and heading back up the walk.

Evelyn was standing there with the baby when she arrived at the door. She gave her granddaughter a kiss and then waited for Erika to situate her in her arms before holding up the diaper bag for her to take.

"Drive safely," she couldn't help but say.

"House said the same thing," Erika replied with a smile. "Don't worry. I will."

Evelyn watched her head back to the car and then shut the door to keep out the cold before heading off to check on Rachel who had fallen asleep.

* * *

Evelyn was in the living room with Rachel sometime later when she heard a car pull into the driveway and knew it was Greg and Lisa. She had spent the morning hoping Greg would call her and tell her that he'd called the neighbor and told her she didn't need to come. She'd been hoping this time away from everything and her time with Greg especially would open Lisa's eyes and make her want to meet her daughter. But it didn't look like that had happened.

Getting to her feet, she left Rachel sitting on the floor playing with her toys and headed for the door to go outside, grabbing her coat along the way.

* * *

House opened the door and climbed from the vehicle, grabbing his stuff only to realize his car was parked at the airport and he was going to need a ride to his car. He sighed heavily and then looked up and saw Evelyn coming outside. He was honestly relieved to see her. Maybe she'd be willing to drive him to pick it up. He was glad they made it home when they did. He should have just enough time to retrieve his car and get home before Wilson showed up.

Evelyn came towards them and frowned as she looked her daughter over. She supposed she ought to just be happy she was all in one piece but she was rather irritated with her still for how she'd left.

Before she could say anything to her, House spoke up. "Evelyn, I'm going to need a ride to the airport to get my car. Would you mind taking me?"

Cuddy looked up at him in surprise, both at his politeness to her mother and that he hadn't just asked her to take him. Then she realized she really oughtn't to be surprised and looked away, trying to focus on grabbing her things from the car, disappointed all the same somehow.

"Of course," Evelyn replied as she approached him.

House nodded and turned to pick up his bags and walk them over to her car but Evelyn caught his arm before he could go, her eyes having caught sight of the slight bruising on his face. He looked at her and she asked, "What happened to you?"

"Nothing," he replied dismissively, though he allowed her to cup his jaw in her hand and study it regardless.

Cuddy glanced at them and felt more than a little irritated at how her mother was… mothering him, especially when she'd asked to see it yesterday night and he hadn't allowed her to even touch him.

Evelyn released him but frowned before turning to her daughter. Instead of saying anything, she decided to wait until she returned and then about-faced and headed back into the house, calling, "Let me go get my purse and I'll take you."

Cuddy reluctantly followed after her mother, not knowing what to say to House and really, too wounded to come up with anything appropriate. He didn't seem to mind because he remained silent also, staring at his breath which was fogging up the cold February air rather than at her.

Her mother looked at her when she came in after her. Cuddy met her eyes but then looked away, setting her things down on the floor before removing her coat.

"Did you thank him for going down to get you?" Evelyn asked pointedly.

"Mom, can you just let it go for now? I'm really tired. Besides, he doesn't even want to talk to me," she replied, shaking her head in frustration.

"That's not an excuse for poor manners," Evelyn replied firmly. "You should at least thank him."

"Will that get you to leave me alone?" Cuddy asked seriously.

Evelyn almost smiled, even if Lisa was being terribly rude, instead settling to raise an eyebrow at her. "Until I get back from driving him to the airport," she dryly responded.

"Fine," Cuddy murmured, turning around to head back outside.

She hesitantly made her way back to House, rubbing her arms through her coat, more to comfort herself than because she was cold.

He looked at her as she approached, his mouth firming as he studied her.

Cuddy looked down at her feet briefly but finally met his eyes. "Thank you for coming down to get me," she murmured then with a sigh. "I'm sure you had… other things you would have preferred to be doing."

House stared at her quizzically but nodded. "Goodbye, Cuddy," he said simply.

* * *

Rachel came running around the corner with her doll just after Cuddy went outside.

"Mommy!" she called out excitedly.

Evelyn smiled at her enthusiasm but Cuddy had already gone back outside. "She'll be right back," she told her, reaching for her purse.

Rachel heard that and immediately turned to the still cracked-open door, tugging on it until it opened enough for her to squeeze out and go to her mother.

"Rachel!" Evelyn called out after her, surprised by what her granddaughter had just done, running out of the house in stockinged feet.

Cuddy heard her mother and turned to look back towards the house, her eyes falling to her daughter who was running towards them. She couldn't help but smile at Rachel's excitement, even if she was ruining a pair of socks and without a jacket to keep her warm.

But Rachel didn't stop either at hearing her grandma call her name or at her mother's side, having caught sight of House as well. "Daddy!" she shrieked, throwing herself at him.

House saw her coming and felt helpless to stop what was about to happen. So he didn't even try, squatting to catch her after she called his name.

Cuddy froze at that one word, watching as Rachel launched herself in House's direction and he bent down quickly to catch her and lift her up.

House ignored Cuddy, clenching his teeth momentarily before he murmured, "Hi Rachel. How's my girl?"

"Baby G fell," she told him somberly, swinging her doll in the air. "She got hurted."

House closed his eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. Opening his eyes, he reached for the doll and studied her before soberly saying, "Well, she looks alright to me."

Rachel shook her head and pointed to a little scuff mark on the baby doll's leg. "She got a boo boo," she told him. "Gotta kiss it. Make it better."

"I see," he replied almost as serious as she had been in her instructions. "Did you kiss it?"

"You kiss it?" she asked hopefully, looking up at him, batting her little eyelashes at him.

Evelyn had approached them but she hung back a little, not sure what to do now that her daughter knew there was a relationship being built between Rachel and Greg.

House glanced at Evelyn and then at Cuddy before turning away slightly to get some privacy with Rachel. If this was the last time he was going to have with her, he wasn't going to waste it. "I guess we better take care of your baby's injury," he gruffly acknowledged, bending his head to quick peck the baby's leg before turning his face into Rachel's belly and rubbing his nose against her until she shrieked and squirmed, giggling happily.

House pulled his head back and then used his finger to rub at the scuff mark until it was gone. "Your baby's all better," he announced to her, settling her doll back in her arms.

"Thank you," she replied sweetly, leaning forward to take him by surprise with a sudden kiss.

House choked up, all too aware that he didn't want this to be his last time with her. All the same, he leaned in and rubbed his scruff against her neck before gruffly saying for the first time, "Daddy loves you, Rachel," wanting her to know that.

"Love you," Rachel replied, closing the gap back between their two faces to rub her nose against his in an Eskimo kiss.

"Goodbye Rachel," he murmured a moment later as he slowly set her down. "Daddy's got to go."

"Bye daddy," she said, holding her doll close before turning to her mother, holding her arms in the air to be picked up.

House quickly turned away then, grabbing his bags to head to Evelyn's car, throwing his things in the backseat before climbing into the passenger seat.

Evelyn looked wide-eyed at her daughter who was staring after him before she then bit her lip and hurried after Greg, opening the driver's seat door. When she climbed in, House was leaning with his head back against the seat and his eyes closed.

"I guess that's over," he quietly muttered, his jaw clenched.

"Greg," she began softly as she started the engine. "You know I'll find a way to make sure that you can see her from time to time."

House sighed and turned his head in her direction as she backed out of the driveway. "It might not be as easy as you think," he finally mumbled.

Evelyn pursed her lips and straightened her shoulders in determination. "This isn't the end," she pointedly declared. "It's just a speed bump."

House looked at her and then said only, "We'll see," before glancing back at Rachel who was looking over Cuddy's shoulder at them as they drove away and her mother brought her back into the house, her little hand up in the air, waving happily, totally oblivious to her daddy's heartache at the thought that something precious had once more been taken away from him.

* * *

"Daddy!"

Cuddy's heart stopped as the word kept repeating itself over and over in her mind, hearing her daughter shout it so naturally as she ran for House.

And House took no issue with it. In fact, it was like he expected it. Like he somehow knew and agreed with Rachel that he was her daddy. He bent down and scooped her up as if it was something he did every time he saw her. And Cuddy wondered when this had happened, this bond between her daughter and the man who she was struggling to accept would never be hers.

So caught off-guard was she that she didn't know how to react. She simply watched their interaction as an observer, taking in every little detail. Maybe if she had thought of it, she'd have grabbed her daughter and taken her away from him, back indoors. But the thought never occurred to her. She was just too bewildered and yet mesmerized to put a stop to anything. And honestly, she acknowledged, she couldn't have done that to House anyway.

"Hi Rachel. How's my girl?"

His girl. Like House possessed a piece of Rachel or was staking claim to her. Like he wanted to do that very thing. Like he considered her… his. Cuddy's eyes shut of their own accord, absorbing his words fully.

"Baby G fell. She got hurted."

Cuddy's eyes opened and flickered from the serious expression on Rachel's face, to the doll she was talking about, to House. She caught the smile touching the corners of his mouth and it made her ache inside at the realization of just how fond he must be of her daughter to smile at something she would have thought he'd be more prone to scoff at or roll his eyes over. But instead he took the doll from her, scrutinizing it as if it was a patient with a life-threatening illness he just had to solve before it was too late.

"Well, she looks alright to me."

"She got a boo boo," her daughter corrected. "Gotta kiss it. Make it better."

"I see. Did you kiss it?" House spoke the words so thoughtfully that Cuddy wondered who this man even was.

"You kiss it?" she heard Rachel ask then.

Cuddy stared at her sweet little girl, feeling House's eyes flicker over her face but not catching his gaze before he'd looked away, turning slightly as if he didn't want anyone else to be there for this moment with her daughter.

"I guess we better take care of your baby's injury," she heard him gruffly reply. And then she watched in astonishment as his head bent down, implying that he was actually going to do exactly what Rachel had asked of him and kiss the doll's injury to make it better. It wasn't about the doll at all. This was all about Rachel and the fact that Cuddy was observing House as he focused his energies into making something better FOR Rachel. It stole her breath away and her heart ached within her, all too aware of how tenderly House was interacting with her own child.

And then Rachel was shrieking and squirming in his hold as House apparently had shifted focus back from the doll to her, doing something to cause her to convulse happily in giggles and laughter. It pierced Cuddy just to see it.

"Your baby's all better," she heard House affirm a moment later, returning the baby doll to Rachel's arms.

"Thank you," she replied sweetly and Cuddy swayed where she was standing in shock as Rachel leaned forward to place a kiss right on House's unsuspecting mouth. For a second she envied her daughter, wanting that for herself, that opportunity to press her lips to his and feel them once more. But then her attention focused back on House, waiting for his reaction, not knowing how he would react to such an act of open affection.

She stared at him as he looked at Rachel in surprise and her own eyes widened as she saw the depth of undecipherable emotion swirl in his eyes. House leaned in then and rubbed his jaw against Rachel's neck, causing her to squirm and giggle a little. But that didn't affect Cuddy even a fifth of how his next statement did.

"Daddy loves you, Rachel."

She almost didn't hear her daughter's reply as Rachel gave him an Eskimo kiss, feeling suddenly light-headed and dizzy by his simple utterance of four words that together were so unbelievably complex. "Daddy loves you, Rachel." And there it was, not just a statement of fact, though Cuddy had no doubt that it was that too, but also an acknowledgement that the relationship between them was everything Rachel considered it to be, unbeknownst to Cuddy up until this moment. House was basically acknowledging that he was Rachel's daddy, that he agreed with her, that their relationship was exactly what Rachel summed it up to be and evidenced in the utterance of a single word. And House didn't say it to gain favor or to impress anyone. There was no one to impress. He had already made it clear there was no relationship between the two of them back on the car ride home. Actually, if anything he was pretending no one else was here for this moment between himself and the little girl he was claiming. He just said it. And Cuddy accepted it; she accepted the fact that House loved her daughter, even if he didn't love her, though that generated a whole new wave of emotions spreading throughout her.

"Goodbye Rachel," she heard him murmur as he restored Rachel to her feet. "Daddy's got to go."

Daddy, daddy, daddy. It was like a broken record in her head.

"Bye daddy," Rachel replied. And then her daughter came to her and stretched her arms up, waiting for her to pick her up. Cuddy did so as if on autopilot, still too bewildered to do or say anything more. She stared after House as he grabbed his things and headed for her mother's car without another word, her mother following after him a moment later. Cuddy couldn't help but stare at the car as it pulled out, only then realizing that her daughter was shivering in her arms, without a coat on. Cuddy headed for the house, trying to think, trying to process. But she didn't even know where to begin.

* * *

Neither Evelyn nor House spoke a word the whole way to the airport, both lost in thought; House struggling with accepting the lot as it had fallen to him and Evelyn working to strategize how she could make this work. And in the end, all she could think about was how Richard would be retiring soon and just maybe she'd be able to talk him into moving closer, allowing her more opportunities to be with Rachel and Georgia both, but also to plan out a way to keep Greg in Rachel's life and hopefully, in Lisa's until her daughter realized what was good for her.

Unfortunately, there was no way she'd be able to keep Lisa in the dark regarding Rachel's contact with Greg. It wasn't as if she could hide it now that it was obvious. And really, Rachel was getting older and would only talk more and more about Greg and her little sister as time passed, which meant Evelyn had to convince Lisa to accept that as well. Somehow she doubted that would prove an easy task.

House directed her to the long-term parking and then had her pull over behind his car. He sighed heavily and sat there for a moment before finally turning to her.

"You haven't told me about your trip," she said then, suddenly realizing she'd forgotten all about it in what had happened afterwards at the house.

"There's nothing to tell," House finally replied. He could rat on Cuddy for the bar incident or tell her what a pain Cuddy had been, but he had enough to deal with and just didn't have it in him to go back over his time with Cuddy either in Georgia or on the trip back. He was miserable enough. Furthermore, he needed to get home as quickly as possible. And anyway, Cuddy had taken her meds that morning, which now seemed like an eternity ago, and House actually did believe that she wouldn't drink again.

"I've got to go. I've got to get home to Evie," he added.

Evelyn looked at him sadly, but nodded, recognizing now wasn't the time to get information. If he had felt there was something she needed to know before returning home to deal with her daughter, he would say so. "Thank you for going to get her, Greg," she said instead.

House shrugged and shoved his door open before climbing out. He shut his door and then opened the backseat door to grab his things. "She's back to being your problem," he quipped, giving her a weak smile. "Good luck."

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, wonderful," she muttered before adding a soft, "Bye Greg."

"See you," he said as he pulled back out of the car and shut the door.

She nodded and waited until he climbed into his car before waving and driving off.

* * *

Cuddy sat on the couch with Rachel at her feet, cradling her baby doll close and singing some indecipherable and nonsensical song to her doll. She studied her daughter, leaning forward and cupping her face in her palm with her elbow on her knee for support before reaching out with her other hand to smooth Rachel's hair.

If Cuddy was honest with herself, she knew she should have seen this. It had been there all along, she supposed. Thinking back to just before Rachel's birthday, she remembered how Rachel had entered the house with a new baby doll, proclaiming that she'd received it from her daddy for her birthday. Cuddy should have realized right then that something was going on unbeknownst to her. But her dad had quickly covered for it, claiming the gift was from him. What else would she think but to believe him?

But that meant that her parents had taken Rachel to go see House and while Cuddy knew what that meant, for there was ONLY one reason why she could imagine her father agreeing to visit House, she couldn't contemplate why they'd be there so she instead focused on the fact that all this time, her mother had been taking Rachel to see House, at least occasionally. And during that time, House and Rachel had formed a bond that Cuddy hadn't been present to witness take place and which she'd only become aware of today.

She didn't know whether to be angry about that, feel thoroughly betrayed, or to just accept it somehow. After all, when she'd been at her worst she'd tried to talk House into taking Rachel for her. If she was honest with herself, that night when he'd come to her house had not been the first time she'd forced looking after Rachel upon him. She couldn't exactly reasonably object to the idea that he'd cared enough about her little girl not only to take care of her in those moments when Rachel had needed someone to do so and she had been incapable of it, but to also invest time in her afterwards, his care and concern not automatically switching on and off according to when Cuddy thought it should.

But where could this really go? House didn't want to be in her life anymore. How could she then have him in Rachel's life? And with that came the realization that House wasn't the only one in Rachel's life now. And THAT she did object to. THAT she couldn't allow. Rachel might have gone months now visiting his apartment without saying anything about House's child. But Cuddy couldn't naively assume the day wouldn't come when she'd start talking about the baby and bring Cuddy's biggest mistake crashing down around her shoulders to crush her with the weight thereof.

Cuddy groaned and left Rachel in the living room with her doll and toys before grabbing her things from the front door to head back to her room and unpack, trying to figure out how she was going to combat everything she'd just become aware of.

* * *

House drove home, thinking he should be able to beat Wilson with twenty minutes to spare if he went five over.

He couldn't help but think of Rachel and how he'd probably lost one of the few gifts Cuddy had given to him unexpectedly in recent years. He had never thought he'd come to feel for Rachel as he had. He'd certainly felt some resentment for the intrusion she had been in Cuddy's life in the beginning. But all the same, he had come around and now, he… loved her. And he loved that she thought of him as her daddy. He loved being her daddy.

He thought of Cuddy then and how things had just fallen apart on them; how he'd loved her and walked away only to have their paths merge back together and find himself hoping for another chance. But he'd never gotten one and when Evie was born, she'd made him walk away. Admittedly, he'd done what he'd had to do. He couldn't say he regretted it. Evie was the best thing to ever happen to him. And yet, he still somehow wished that things had been different. Right now he wished it simply because he didn't want to lose the place he'd found in Rachel's life. He couldn't say that he wanted Cuddy. He just wished he could at least have Rachel. And THAT was an oddity in itself. Because who would have ever thought Greg House would be driving home, wishing he hadn't lost his chance to raise both daughters of Lisa Cuddy, the bane of his existence? No one, he figured. No one would have suspected that was even a remote possibility of something he might want one day. But it was. And he'd missed his chance with a little brown-haired waif that had somehow wormed her way into his heart.

-----

"_**Passed through Main Street yesterday**_

**_And, oh, this town just ain't the same  
Looked in the window and it was gone  
All those tables I'd written on  
Were vanished as if I had never been there  
Like the poets and prophets who can't find the words so they stare  
And all that made sense has somehow turned askew  
I missed my chance with you _**

_**There were seconds, then minutes, then years that I could not breathe  
In the Pere Lachaise with the hammer, the chisel, and the stone  
Now I've bartered and begged for what I believed  
And I saw that the name engraved was my own  
Now there's nothing so peaceful as when I met you  
And there's nothing so lonely as when it was through  
And the words 'I'm not here anymore' echo into**_

_**'I missed my chance with you' **_

_**Had love play so many tricks on me  
I've always felt cheated that you'd make me leave  
Like taking my sight after letting me see  
I found out love had something up its sleeve  
Leave me scattered like leaves by winds that never blew  
When I captured the stars in the palm of my hand it was true  
I'd just give them back  
To you**_

_**I was seventeen, but just for one year  
I always knew that one day I'd end up here  
And the sands have now fallen to the evening of my afternoon  
I'm always so ready to stay and always leaving too soon  
And I don't want to think about it now, but I do  
And my spirit is restless, 'cause I know it's true  
I missed my chance w**__**ith you"**_

* * *

Song: "Missed My Chance" (Griffin House)


	55. Where I Stood

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Okay, I'm doing another two chapters against my better judgment!! Mostly because there's a lot of dialogue that for me is necessary to the story but for you, might end up redundant. But enjoy them!! And... just FYI... we're getting close now!!_

_Thank you all so much for reviewing, btw! I LOVE your thoughts and comments!!_

_And PDubou! I DO want you to feel free to rattle off all your thoughts about each chapter! Don't stop now! I'm just saying, it kills me that you're set up to not receive private messages because I want to respond to your comments and questions! But I can accept that! Keep reviewing to your heart's content! :)_

* * *

House got home and headed next door to Erika's, thinking he had just enough time to get Evie before Wilson showed up. He made his way up the walk and then knocked, scooping his daughter up out of Erika's arms the minute she opened the door to him and burying his face in Evie's neck, not realizing how much he'd missed her until that moment.

Erika laughed at him while Evie chortled happily, her hands batting at his face.

"How was your trip?" she asked when he turned his attention from his daughter to her.

"Hold your questions for now," he wryly replied, shaking his head. "I've got to get home, throw my things in the house, and then clean up before Wilson gets here to go out for lunch."

"Is that a bruise on your jaw?" she asked, her hand reaching up to touch the spot while her eyes narrowed and flickered from the bruise to his eyes.

"Got punched in a bar. No big deal," he replied automatically.

She looked at him in alarm and then turned to call up the stairs, "Trevor, I'm going next door a moment! I'll be back in five minutes! Your room better be clean by then!"

House rolled his eyes.

"House is back?" Trevor yelled, making an appearance at the top of the stairs.

"Yes," she dryly responded. "Now hurry up and finish. I'll be right back."

Trevor smiled broadly and called down, "I can't wait to go tonight!"

House chuckled when Erika immediately replied, "You won't be going anywhere if you don't get that room cleaned up!"

Trevor sobered and nodded, heading back for his room.

Erika handed House Evie's snowsuit and grabbed her own coat, following him next door once Evie was bundled up.

"I put the car seat in your house," she informed him then.

House nodded and headed in through the still open garage door before hitting the button to close it, wanting the car seat back in the car before Wilson pulled up and noticed it had ever been removed. Erika entered the house with him and House handed Evie to her so that he could replace the car seat in the car, wondering why he hadn't just thought to give her his spare the other day. It would have saved him the trouble. But then, he supposed his head had been on other things.

Once he entered the house she said, "I put her diaper bag in her room earlier. It's good on diapers but you might want to get another can of formula. You're running kind of low."

He nodded and headed in that direction, Erika following behind him.

"How did you end up in a bar?" she couldn't resist asking at that point. "I thought you don't drink."

House groaned. "I didn't exactly go in there with the intention of drinking a few beers," he dryly replied.

"What was your intention in going in?" Erika asked with a raised eyebrow.

He rubbed his face hard and said, "This is a really long story. Can I just skim over the details?"

"Yes," she agreed. "But I really want to hear all about it so if I can talk you into giving me details, know that I'm going to do my hardest to try."

House tilted his head to the side to study her as he took Evie to change her diaper quick. Finally he bobbed his head slightly. "Okay. Rough summary. Cuddy ran off. I got a call from the Chatham County Jail, telling me that they had found her on the beach and brought her in for Public Intoxication, concerned that her behavior was endangering her well-being. She's on medication that she shouldn't drink with. I went down to get her and bring her back because her mother was a wreck over her disappearance. When I got there, she was in a jail cell in her wedding dress." House held a hand up to ward off her questions as she immediately made a strangled noise and opened her mouth to speak. "I've only got two minutes until Wilson shows up. Questions can wait. Okay, I got her out, took her back to her hotel, told her to get her things, and then drove us back. But along the way, she decided she could use a drink," he sarcastically tossed out. "Hence, when she left the gas station and headed for the bar, I had no choice but to follow her. I was slowed down a little by needing to pay for gas and then traffic. But I got there. And yes, I was ready to kill her. I told her to get her butt out in the car. Some guy standing nearby didn't appreciate my treatment of her and thought he'd teach me a lesson. He punched me. I walked away. She followed. I drove off. She came on to me. I pulled off the highway to follow through on my intention to kill her. She started puking out her door. I… dealt with that. Didn't kill her. Made her sit in the backseat away from me. Drove a while longer. Got a hotel room for the night. Basically hog-tied her to her own bed. And then drove the rest of the way home this morning."

The doorbell rang right then and House rolled his eyes when Erika pouted in disappointment.

"You're supposed to look forward to seeing Wilson," House teased as he heard his best friend let himself in.

"Shut up," she murmured in frustration. "You know you've got me dying to hear more."

"Well, hold on to that thought," House muttered. "Because I don't want Wilson knowing and weighing in on how he feels about this."

"House!" Wilson called from the entryway as if by cue. "Where are you?"

"In Evie's room," he replied loudly, focusing back on the task at hand as he tucked a new diaper on her before straightening her clothes.

Wilson came in there and halted when he saw Erika.

"Hey," she greeted him, smiling softly.

"Hey," he replied back, more at ease now. "How are you?"

"Good," she responded. "You?"

"Oh for Pete's sake," House muttered in annoyance. "Wilson, if you're done with useless small talk, let's go! I'm hungry."

Wilson rolled his eyes and looked at Erika apologetically, but she just laughed.

When Wilson looked back at House he saw the bruise for the first time. "What happened to you?"

"Tripped," he said, the skin around his mouth puckering in an expression that was designed to recognize his embarrassment at klutziness.

"Where?" Wilson replied, not believing him.

"I hit him," Erika interjected, causing both House and Wilson to look at her in surprise.

She shrugged. "He wouldn't leave me alone about our date next Friday."

House scoffed but caught himself and looked at her scathingly. "I thought you said you wouldn't tell him!"

She smiled almost apologetically but Wilson was gaping at her in astonishment. "You… You hit him?!"

"Aw, she hits like a girl!" House threw in, scooping Evie up into his arms.

Erika looked at him in irritated disbelief; regardless of the fact that they both knew she hadn't punched him at all.

"Well, she left a bruise," Wilson argued, staring at House before looking back at Erika in concern. "Is your hand okay?"

House's jaw dropped. Indignantly, he exclaimed, "She hit a cripple and you're worried about her?!"

Wilson harrumphed and protested, "Oh puh-lease! You're one of the highest functioning cripples I've ever seen! And besides, you've only got a bruise. Plus, I know just how hard-headed you are. It's quite plausible that you destroyed her hand in taking a punch."

House pursed his lips but handed Evie to him and then walked past him, grabbing the diaper bag. "I'll be waiting in the car," he grumpily announced as he headed towards the kitchen. "Remember, I've left you with a chaperone. No hanky panky."

Erika blushed but Wilson just shook his head, bringing the baby to his chest. "Next time, hit him harder," he muttered before giving her a wry smile.

She laughed and said, "I'll write myself a memo when I get home."

"So, are we still on for Friday?" Wilson asked, heading out into the hallway with the baby.

Erika smiled and nodded, walking out of the room with him. She handed him Evie's snowsuit a moment later and he put it on before opening the garage door for her. Erika went out ahead of him, shooting House a smile where he sat in the car waiting, the garage door now open. She shook her head when he rolled his eyes and faked a punch.

"I'll see you later," she called back to Wilson as he headed for the car and settled Evie into her car seat.

He glanced up at her and gave her a boyish smile before saying, "I'll look forward to that."

Erika blushed slightly but nodded, pulling her coat a little tighter around her before heading home.

House waited until Wilson climbed in the car before starting the engine.

"You really are impossible," Wilson muttered after a moment.

"Who? Me?" House asked in disbelief.

"Can't I JUST have ONE relationship with a woman where you don't intentionally strive to embarrass me all the time?" Wilson asked, not really as annoyed as he was pretending to be.

House chuckled. "Now what would be the fun in that?" he asked sarcastically. "Besides, you have me to thank for this relationship you've found yourself teetering on the edge of."

Wilson exhaled through his nose but then quipped, "I guess I should just be grateful to know that she knows how to communicate to you when enough is enough."

"Well now that's just not very nice," House muttered before pulling out onto the street to head for the restaurant Wilson had chosen. "Some best friend you are."

He didn't reply for a minute but then he laughed and House turned to look at him circumspectly.

"What?" House asked reluctantly.

"I was just thinking. Amber put up with a lot of your crap and she could throw it right back at you. But it could be interesting dating someone who's willing to sock it to you when you go too far," he commented seriously.

"Shut up," House replied out of the corner of his mouth.

* * *

Evelyn entered the house, hung up her coat, and sighed before going to look for Lisa and Rachel. She found them in the bathroom where Cuddy sat beside the bathtub, watching her daughter play in the tub with her toys.

Cuddy looked up at her mom but didn't say anything right away.

Evelyn walked in and sat down on the closed toilet seat. After a moment she asked, "Should I call your father and tell him I'm going to hang around here a little longer? I'm not quite sure what to make of this week."

Cuddy sighed, brushing her hair to the side and out of her face. "No mom. You can go home. I'm fine."

She studied her daughter and then inquired, "Honey, why did you leave like you did?"

"I just needed a few days away," Cuddy admitted blandly. "I needed to do some thinking."

"And you needed to go to Georgia for that?" she asked sharply.

Cuddy didn't want to go down that path. Instead she redirected her by asking, "Just how long have you been taking Rachel over to see him?"

Evelyn sat a little straighter but honestly replied, "When Greg called me to come take care of you, I had to pick Rachel up at his place. That's when he told me about the baby and…"

Cuddy interrupted. "I don't want you taking Rachel over anymore."

Evelyn's mouth closed and she inhaled through her nose, releasing her breath the same way a moment later. "Honey, he _loves_ her. And she loves him. Are you really going to deny them this?"

The skin around Cuddy's eyes tightened as she stared hard at her mother. "I don't want her there," she firmly replied.

"Why?" Evelyn pressed. "Why don't you want her there?"

"You ought to know why by now," she murmured, looking away.

"Do you love Greg?" Evelyn asked, trying to figure her daughter out.

Cuddy didn't look at her. "It doesn't matter what I feel for him. There's no future for us."

"Why is that?" her mother asked. "You said you left to do some thinking. What exactly were you thinking about?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she replied quietly.

"Georgia was a special place for you and Greg. It clearly meant something to the both of you. Why would you go there?" Evelyn continued, not giving up, wanting her daughter to open up.

Cuddy pursed her lips and reached for the bottle of baby shampoo to rub some in Rachel's hair. "I just need to be free to move on," she finally murmured.

Evelyn shook her head in bewilderment. "You went to Georgia to move on?" she asked, trying to figure out how her daughter thought that would work.

Cuddy just nodded slightly.

Evelyn gave a disbelieving chuckle and somewhat sarcastically asked, "You're trying to get over whatever feelings you have for Greg? Lisa, why are you fighting this so hard?! If you love him, free yourself to love him! This is getting a bit ridiculous!"

Cuddy shot her a dark look. Fuming, she choked out, "I can't! I can't love him!"

Evelyn tilted her head to the side and studied her daughter while Rachel looked back and forth between them before pushing a boat across the surface of the water, making attempts at motor noises with her mouth. Finally she asked as if to clarify, "You can't allow yourself to love him and be with him like you can't allow yourself to love your daughter and be with her?"

Cuddy's back straightened and she adamantly declared, "Rachel's the only daughter I have!"

Evelyn gazed upon her, her eyes filled with sorrow. Her mouth pursed and then she murmured, "Honey, don't you have the first clue what you're missing out on here? Don't you…?"

But Cuddy cut her off before she could finish, getting to her feet and storming out of the bathroom. "You can rinse Rachel's hair out and finish her bath," she angrily called back. "I'm going into the office for a few hours."

Evelyn heard the front door slam a few minutes later and shook her head, meeting Rachel's gaze. "Your mommy's set on running," she murmured, getting up to sit on the edge of the tub and reach for the cup to rinse out Rachel's hair.

Rachel nodded before refocusing her attention on her boat, which was being tossed by the waves of the storm she was generating with her hands until it sank to the bottom of the bathtub.

Evelyn stared at the little boat and then reached in after it to rescue it, bringing it back to the surface and returning it to Rachel. She wondered when her daughter would see she was sinking her own boat and reach in to make it float once more.

* * *

Later that night, House and Wilson sat with Trevor between them at the arena, watching the monster trucks crush vehicles and perform various feats. Evie was with Erika once again and House was grateful to notice that Trevor seemed to have forgotten all about his absence in his excitement over where he was and all that was going on around them.

House glanced at Wilson, who was laughing at Trevor's enthusiasm as he shouted, "Crush him! Crush him! Crush him!"

House laughed too but then joined in the chant, only stopping to take a drink from his pop.

The three of them groaned as the monster truck they were rooting for flipped over. But it somehow landed upright and they cheered.

"Can we get some hot dogs?" Trevor asked, turning to Wilson.

"Yeah. Can we?" House echoed, sounding like he was five due to the whiny quality he'd given his words.

Wilson rolled his eyes but nodded, getting up to go buy some.

Trevor turned to House when he was gone and asked, "Is Wilson going to be my dad?"

House looked at him, speechless.

"He's going on a date with my mom this Friday, right?" he inquired next. "Does that mean they'll get married?"

House did NOT want to be the person answering this question. "I think you should ask your mom, kid," he told him hesitantly.

Trevor exhaled but nodded, turning back to the action.

"You like Wilson?" House couldn't help but ask.

Trevor looked back at him and nodded once more. "He's nice. He buys me stuff. And he likes monster trucks."

House nodded and then whispered confidentially. "Yeah. He's alright. But don't tell him I said that."

Trevor smiled broadly but said, "Okay. I won't."

House ruffled his hair before looking back at the monster trucks as flames issued forth from the opponent.

They both hooted and hollered until Wilson came back, passing them each a hot dog before sinking his teeth into his own.

"What did I miss?" he asked House.

House stared at his buddy and cryptically quipped, "Oh, wouldn't you like to know?"

* * *

After several hours of sitting at her desk, working her way through the stacks of paperwork that had already accumulated in her absence, Cuddy reached into her desk and for the first time, withdrew the envelope Wilson had left with her after House had left that final day. Cuddy stared at it for a minute but finally slipped a finger in at the corner, sliding it along until the envelope was open. Hesitantly she emptied the contents into her lap and then reached out with a trembling hand to pick up his PPTH badge, the back of her index finger stroking over his picture once she had the badge cradled in her hand.

She felt a tear glide its way down her cheek and she hurriedly brushed it away, taking a deep breath. Her mother was right. She was trying to valiantly fight it. But she did love him, whether because of what he'd meant to her in the past or because of all they'd shared while working together or… for some other reason she just couldn't admit to herself. And yet, it mattered little. Because this was all she had of him: an ID badge to represent their past.

Returning it to her middle drawer, she reached for his keys to replace them as well. However, within seconds she was slipping out of her office and five minutes later found herself up on the almost deserted fourth floor, standing in the middle of House's office, sighing at the emptiness of it all. She had left the lights out so she was almost completely in the dark, except for the security lighting casting shadows on the wall, a small sheen reflecting off the white sheets draped around her.

Cuddy reached for a rubber band that was lying on the floor and placed it around the tips of her fingers, twirling it with her other hand, her thoughts on that day she'd stood face to face with House and said, "Everyone knows this is going somewhere." Cuddy stared down at the floor. She thought about how he'd groped her breast and ruined things. Then she groaned because it triggered the memory of how he'd accused her only that morning of needing to be restrained for both their sakes so that she wouldn't molest him in his sleep, after she'd reacted… a little too strongly to the alcohol and tried to have her way with him in the car as he drove, until he forced her away.

Coming back to what she'd said in his office that day, she realized their relationship had gone somewhere, though not when she'd been expecting it to and certainly not in the direction she'd then been hoping for. She couldn't help wondering where House had gone in the aftermath and how a little over a year ago, he'd been practically forcing his love upon her but now clearly had moved on to someone else, she supposed much the same way Lucas had. She wondered too how she had landed herself in such a disastrous situation with such catastrophic costs. If House had just worn a condom their one time together, would she have ended up marrying Lucas or would she have come to her senses some other way? It might have spared both her and House a lot of misery and perhaps allowing them the future that was now denied to them through the existence of a life she just couldn't bring herself to embrace and which House now chose over her and what they'd once had.

Cuddy set the rubber band down on the edge of the desk and looked around his office once more before heading for the door, knowing she should be at home right now, rather than standing here, trying to puzzle out something that contained pieces too mismatched and jagged to ever come together properly.

* * *

Trevor and House watched Wilson drive off from the bottom of the driveway before they walked together in the direction of Trevor's house. Erika opened the door for them a moment later, passing Evie and her half-empty bottle to House while sending Trevor upstairs to get ready for bed.

Trevor gave House a bear hug, which House hesitantly acknowledged with a clap on the kid's back before rifling his hair as he turned to go upstairs. Erika smiled and then held up a finger to let House know he better stick around and wait before she too went upstairs to see Trevor through the process of readying for bed.

House adjusted Evie in his arms, pressing a kiss to her soft hair before he headed into the kitchen and opened Erika's fridge to retrieve a Coke. He returned to her living room, sinking down on the couch to feed Evie the remainder of her bottle while he popped the tab on his Coke and took a swallow.

Evie's eyes were fastened on him as one of her hands clutched the bottle House was holding to her mouth and the other batted the air. He stared right back at her, drinking her in and committing her to memory. He wondered if it was a common thing for a father to be in love with his kid like this.

Evie released the bottle from her mouth and smiled, cooing before she started up a chant. And for the first time, she nailed a strong "da-da," her waving hand settling on his and wrapping around his pinky finger. He tried to remind himself that she didn't have the first clue what she was saying. But all the same, his chest tightened and he felt a lump form in his throat. He had to remind himself that this was not acceptable House behavior before the lump relaxed slightly. But regardless, he couldn't stop himself from grinning like a fool and murmuring, "Say it again," chuckling softly when she tossed her head and then latched back onto her bottle instead.

"Tease," he muttered, reaching up with his free hand to brush her hair from her face.

* * *

Erika came back down fifteen minutes later to find House sitting on the couch with Evie up on his shoulder, attempting to eat her fist as she babbled nonsense.

She sank down on the couch next to him and said, "Trevor had a great time with you two. How about you? Did you have fun?"

House pursed his lips but nodded before saying, "He asked me if Wilson was going to be his dad."

Erika's chin dropped and she turned to see him better. "Trevor did?" she repeated needlessly.

House just raised an eyebrow at her. Almost hesitantly, she inquired, "How did you answer that?"

House matter-of-factly replied, "I told him yes. Of course Wilson is going to be his dad. That's how this works."

Erika looked at him thunderstruck, searching for words as her mouth opened and closed like a fish. "House!" she finally protested. "How could you tell him that?!"

He laughed. "I can't believe you believed me," he replied as her features were washed in relief.

"What did you really say?" she asked skeptically a moment later.

"I told him he needs to ask you," House admitted.

Erika fell back against the couch and House readjusted Evie so that she was sitting in his lap, his leg up to prop her upright, facing him.

Erika sighed. "I don't even have the first clue how I'm going to answer that question," she acknowledged. "This is a new one for me."

"He asked if a date meant that you'd be getting married," House added.

Erika bit her lip, pondering what to say to her son.

"He likes Wilson," House informed her. "Maybe you just need to let him know that you're going out to see if you could like him enough to maybe marry him one day, instead of letting him think this is automatically going to lead to marriage."

Erika smiled and turned to him. "Is that what you'd tell Evie?" she inquired.

"Evie won't ever be in Trevor's spot. I have no intention of ever dating, let alone marrying," House dryly replied.

Erika considered him and then prompted, "Tell me about your trip. You flew down to Georgia and arrived somehow at the jail. What did you say to her when you got there? What did she say about you busting her out? You do realize that they could make a drama for television based on you, right?"

House looked at her unappreciatively before shaking his head and wryly saying, "Nice going on your claim of having punched me, by the way. Now Wilson thinks he can rely on you to take me down, anytime I misbehave."

Erika laughed, reaching out to stroke Evie's soft wispy hair. "Sorry. I couldn't help but claim that one. It was too good to resist."

"Just don't go getting ideas," he replied sarcastically.

"Okay," she agreed before becoming serious once more. "Now will you tell me about your visit to jail?"

House pursed his lips but said, "They asked me when I came in if I was here to pick up the bride they had in the hold. I made a joke about how I might prefer to take that one home. Then I found out it was Cuddy they were referring to."

"What's her name? I mean, what's her first name?" she clarified. "You keep calling her Cuddy, which I assume is her last name, just as you call everyone else from the hospital by their last names. If it isn't… that's kind of a strange choice for a parent to make."

"Lisa," he mumbled after a pause, looking away.

"Okay. Continue," she encouraged.

"I went in with one of the deputies. He kept cracking jokes about weddings and conjugal visits. It was annoying," House acknowledged. "Anyway, she was in her cell, sitting there in her wedding dress that she probably intended to marry Lucas in. That just made me angry. Georgia… well, Georgia's someplace that Cuddy and I went to once upon a time. It… meant something to me. It's why Evie's name is actually Georgia. I was… not happy to find her there and in a wedding dress meant for another guy. Anyhow, I made a sarcastic remark and she asked me to just get her out of there. We didn't really talk. I had nothing to say to her. We just left a few minutes later after I signed for her and then I took her to the hotel she'd stayed at to call her mother and change before checking out."

"Why was she there in the first place? How did she explain the dress?" Erika queried curiously, resting her chin on her fist as she leaned forward in her spot.

"I didn't ask and she didn't explain," House replied, shaking his head. "I didn't want to know."

"Did you ask her why she was drinking if she's on medication that doesn't allow her to?" Erika asked next.

"I've just concluded she wasn't thinking," he responded. "The sheriff who called me said that she had a bottle of wine with her but that she hadn't drank enough to explain her behavior. Her blood-alcohol level wasn't even at the legal limit. It was the pills interacting with the alcohol that landed her in jail temporarily. He didn't feel right about releasing her and risking she'd drink again. And I had no idea what she had been thinking about so it really only made sense that I go down there."

"You still care about her," Erika said then. "The other day you used past tense to admit that you didn't want her to marry the other guy because you loved her. But you still love her, don't you?"

"She makes my life hell," House informed her instead. "I don't want to be with her."

"But you still have feelings for her. Otherwise you wouldn't have gone down to Georgia after her," she said knowingly.

House rolled his eyes. "Think what you want," he muttered. "I'm done with her."

Sensing that he was quickly heading towards ending the conversation, Erika let it go and asked, "How'd it go when you left the hotel?"

"It was fine until she opened her mouth," he replied in annoyance. "She asked me how I was. Who asks _that_ given the circumstances?! Then she wanted to know why I'd come. And when she asked me if I ever thought about Georgia, I just wanted to wring her neck. I… lied and said I never do, our time in Georgia being the last thing I wanted to talk with her about after everything. Then we stopped for gas and she went inside to go the bathroom. When she came to find me and ask for the keys, I refused to give them to her. She just… makes me CRAZY sometimes! And so she decided it would be a good time to go for a drink. You know how that went," he pronounced, rolling his eyes before lifting Evie to his shoulder as she was falling asleep, rubbing circles on her back.

"Did she react to the alcohol the same way?" Erika queried.

House shook his head. "No. Once she came back to the car, she told me that she hadn't taken her pills since the day before. I think they were pretty much out of her system. So we were in the car and she wanted to check my face. She unbuckled her seatbelt to slide towards me. I was thoroughly pissed off by that time. I pushed her hand away. She then asked me if I thought she was attractive. I told her she makes my life hell. She decided that meant I still found her desirable and when I was distracted with my driving, she came even closer. Next thing I know, her mouth is all over my neck and she's got her hand trailing down my chest. I demanded to know what she was doing and she said something to imply it was obvious. I caught her hand and gave her a shove back towards her seat. She… said something stupid about how I was fighting it when we both knew I wanted to give in to her. Something ludicrous like that. She offered to help me remember our past. And I lost it. I pulled off the road, intending to hit her over the head with a shovel and bury her there," House sarcastically quipped, causing Erika to laugh.

He shook his head, a corner of his mouth going up. "She was drunk. She started puking out the car door before I could kill her in cold blood. I'd walked off but I went back to the car and poured a jug of water over her head. I think that brought her out of it a little. Then I made her move to the backseat and she fell asleep. Sometime after midnight I stopped at a hotel and woke her up. I rented a room and then when she fell asleep, I did my best to ensure she would be unable to get out of it until morning. I went to sleep on the other double bed after showering."

"You shared a room with her?" Erika asked in surprise.

"We didn't share a bed," he pointed out.

"But you shared a room with her," she replied. "Why didn't you get separate rooms?"

"She was out of it and I didn't want to pay for a second room anyway. Besides, how was I going to force her out in time to get back on the road if she was in another room?" House demanded.

Erika pursed her lips, eyeing him, but didn't say anything more about it. Instead she asked, "Did she stay in her own bed after coming on to you?"

He chuckled at that point. "She woke up in the middle of the night, complaining about my snoring. I told her to deal with it. She tried to get out of bed to use the bathroom and couldn't. I informed her that was good and to go back to sleep. She demanded to know what I'd done. I just told her I'd made sure she couldn't molest me as I slept and that it was for her own good just as much as mine. Eventually I fell asleep. If she got free, she left me alone. I woke up when the wake-up call came and we left shortly thereafter and headed for home. Cuddy asked me again why I'd come to Georgia. It was a question that led us nowhere. I was growing frustrated. I finally told her to just ask what she wanted to ask me and get it over with. And then out of nowhere she asked how I felt about her. Why do women do that?! They always ask you these stupid, pointless questions about your feelings when the answer makes no difference at all!"

Erika laughed at his obvious annoyance, dismissing his generalizations outright. "What did you say?" she asked in interest.

"I told her I didn't understand the question. It was a question that there was no point in asking because she'd made her decisions and I'd made mine. I asked what it was she wanted from me," he muttered, shaking his head as his jaw clenched.

Erika bit back a smile, helpless to be anything but amused.

"Then she goes and tells me she doesn't know what she wants from me and just wondered where we stood. How insane is that?!" House exclaimed. "The woman kicked me out of her life, wanting nothing to do with me or my daughter, and now she wants to know where 'WE' stand?! I _reminded_ her there is no 'we' because we don't even have a relationship anymore. We'd arrive back home and go our separate ways. It's the way things are and the way they should be. And then I couldn't help but think maybe she was trying to say she wanted into Evie's life but she interrupted to say she didn't. At that point, I was too upset with her to say anything more, other than that she wasn't needed or wanted anyway. We didn't speak to each other for the rest of the trip."

Erika looked at him sympathetically. "She sounds confused," she admitted then.

"Confused about what?!" he asked, getting to his feet to pace. "What is there to be confused about?!"

"Think about it," Erika said pointedly. "We went to PPTH the other day and I told you, she was jealous that I was there with you. She goes to Georgia, clearly thinking about you, as you've just told me Georgia was a special place for you both. Then you show up and…"

House shook his head like he thought she was crazy. "She was WEARING a wedding dress she planned to marry another man in!" he declared, covering Evie's ear when she stirred in his arms.

Erika pursed her lip, thinking about that. "Alright. I concede you have a point. I can't explain that one."

"Thank you!" House muttered sarcastically.

"But I still think she wants you back. How else do you explain her behavior in the car when she was all over you? And why else would she want to know how you felt about her?" Erika inquired.

"First of all, she was drunk. She wasn't exactly making good choices at that moment. And second of all," he threw in, "I've told you about the chemistry thing."

"I don't know, House," she said, her voice suspect.

"Well seriously, Erika," House drolly murmured. "I've got a kid. Even if I was interested in being with Cuddy, which I'm NOT, as she's CLEARLY a destructive force of nature and the BANE of my existence, how can you even imagine her wanting to be with me when I've got a kid she wants nothing to do with and tells everyone, was stillborn?!"

Erika shrugged, not having answers for him. "Okay," she dragged out. "Then maybe she just… needs closure or something."

"And that's MY responsibility?" he angrily inquired.

"I'm not saying that," she reassured him. "Don't get angry with me. I'll… have to hit you again or something."

House smiled then, semi-reluctantly. "You never hit me in the first place," he grumpily reminded her.

"We could correct that," she teased, her eyebrows raising and lowering rapidly.

House expelled his breath and narrowed his eyes at her before saying, "I'm taking my kid and going home. I think I've had enough abuse for one day."

Erika laughed and got to her feet before reaching for him and hugging him. He sighed as if it took everything in him to bear with her act of affection and just to push him that much further, she leaned up and kissed the bruise on his jaw.

"It's still tender," he moodily protested, rubbing it.

"Oh, you big baby," she taunted, moving around him to go get Evie's snowsuit, laying it out on the couch a second later for him to tuck her in.

House settled the baby inside and zipped it up before taking his coat from Erika.

"Why don't you want James to know that you went to Georgia?" Erika inquired then.

House looked skeptically at her. "You saw what he's like when it comes to Evie's mother. He doesn't want me anywhere near Cuddy. He's afraid I won't know better than to get involved and she'll end up destroying me."

"Were things that terrible?" she asked, studying him.

House looked down at the ground and he sighed before quietly replying in honesty, "Yes. I don't know how I'd have survived it without self-destructing if it hadn't been for Wilson and Cameron. And how much I wanted my kid," he added, lifting Evie up and tucking her close to him with the utmost tenderness.

Erika nodded, her eyes sad. "Then stay away from her," she murmured. "I don't want to see you suffering because of her, either. If she's crazy enough to not see how great you are, she doesn't deserve you. And she certainly doesn't deserve you if she can't love your child."

House looked away a moment but then met her eyes, his Adam's apple moving up and down as he tried to clear the obstruction there. He exhaled through his nose and nodded before stepping closer to press a soft kiss to her cheek. "I'll see you, Erika," he mumbled, heading for the door.

She smiled gently and said, "See you House," turning to watch him walk out the door. She closed the door behind him, wondering how Lisa Cuddy couldn't want to claim Evie as her own and raise her with this man who Erika often wished she was personally more attracted to. Locking the door, Erika turned off the living room light before heading upstairs to get ready for bed.

* * *

Cuddy went home, took off her coat, hung it up, and then glanced at her mom who was sitting in the living room before she made her way down the hall to go into Rachel's room and kiss her sleeping brow. She left her room a moment later and headed for the kitchen to make some tea. Once it was done she headed into the living room to sit with her mother.

Evelyn didn't say anything, flipping through the pages of a magazine. She didn't want to fight with Lisa and there didn't seem to be much point trying to change her mind when Lisa just wasn't ready yet. She also knew she hadn't agreed to keep Rachel away from Greg and she didn't want to get into that conversation and have her daughter press for her to make such a commitment. It was one she'd only break.

"I'm going to be leaving in the morning," she finally said. "I told Julia I'd stop by on my way home and visit her."

Cuddy took a sip of her tea and then nodded. "Sorry I didn't spend time with you like I'd promised."

Evelyn didn't look up, vaguely irritated by the apology.

"What about coming at the end of March?" Cuddy invited as a peace offering. "I can probably take a few days off during the last week of the month. I… I won't run away again," she added somewhat apologetically.

Evelyn glanced up at her, her lips pursed. Finally she nodded. "I'm going to turn in for the night," she said then, setting aside the magazine to head upstairs.

"Good night," Cuddy called after her, watching her go rather guiltily.

"Night dear," Evelyn replied over her shoulder.

Cuddy sighed when her mother was out of sight, getting to her feet to turn the light out and head back to her bedroom, mug in hand, ready to go to bed. But even once she was under her covers, she couldn't help lying there restlessly, her mind quickly turning to House.

She wondered if he'd gone back to his apartment after retrieving his car from the airport or if he'd gone to be with Erika, the woman who had filled her shoes. She'd been stupid to walk away from him when he went into Mayfield; dumb to run in the opposite direction, too afraid to deal with all that seemed to stand in their way; an idiot to think he wasn't what she wanted, never could be, and then to conclude that Lucas could be enough. But now there was nothing she could do about it. She loved House. She wanted him. But she couldn't have him. She couldn't accept what came along with being with him. Not that it mattered, as he no longer wanted her.

The grip House held on her heart wasn't about to surrender without a fight. It was too firmly entrenched after being suppressed, denied, and left locked up for so long. But Cuddy honestly didn't know who she was without him. He'd been her life, or at least a huge part of her life, for so long. PPTH wasn't the same without him. She wasn't the same without him. And now Rachel wouldn't be the same without him.

Erika was lucky, she thought then. She was obviously someone that could accept House and everything that went along with him. She could do and be what Cuddy was not capable of. She didn't have the issues that crept up and got in Cuddy's way. And perhaps in the end, that was what made her think that she ought to be thankful that House had found someone, rather than resentful. But could she love him enough to let him go? She didn't know the answer to that.

-----

**_"I don't know what I've done  
Or if I like what I've begun  
But something told me to run  
And honey you know me it's all or none _**

**_There were sounds in my head  
Little voices whispering  
That I should go and this should end  
Oh and I found myself listening_**

**_'Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you  
All I know is that I should  
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you  
All I know is that I should  
'Cause she will love you more than I could  
She who dares to stand where I stood_**

**_See I thought love was black and white  
That it was wrong or it was right  
But you ain't leaving without a fight  
And I think I am just as torn inside_**

**_'Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you  
All I know is that I should  
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you  
All I know is that I should  
'Cause she will love you more than I could  
She who dares to stand where I stood_**

**_And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call  
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all  
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you  
This is what I have to do_**

**_'Cause I don't know who I am, who I am without you  
All I know is that I should  
And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you  
All I know is that I should  
'Cause she will love you more than I could  
She who dares to stand where I stood  
Oh, she who dares to stand where I stood"_**

* * *

Song: "Where I Stood" (Missy Higgins)


	56. Quiet

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Question for you to answer at the very bottom, once you've read the chapter. If you want to! :) )_

* * *

February 6th, 2011

House's cell phone rang Sunday afternoon and he glanced at the number before flipping it open. "Hey, Grandma Cuddles," he greeted, his voice coming across the wire as sad and yet resigned to what he was sure she was calling to tell him. "What's the verdict?"

"She doesn't want me to bring Rachel by anymore," Evelyn admitted. "But I didn't make any promises. Honestly, I don't think it's you. I think this is about the baby. But she didn't come right out and say so."

House expelled his breath and asked, "Are you staying longer or are you on your way home?"

"I'm on my way home but I'm stopping at Julia's house to visit her and her kids first," she replied.

"Does she know about Evie?" House immediately asked doubtfully. He knew as much as Cuddy might love her sister, there had always been some tension and rivalry there. He recognized that it was not a good thing that he cared about this but he didn't want Julia to know about Evie. That didn't seem like something that would help Cuddy move on but instead, only drag her down as another failure in the eyes of her family.

"Oh, no," she automatically replied. "Richard and I are the only ones who know. It didn't feel right to tell anyone else in the family. This is Lisa's struggle. And when she comes around, we want her to…"

"She's not going to come around, Evelyn," he cut her off to say. "I… can't even say I want her to anymore."

"Greg," she admonished. "You don't mean that!"

"I do," he replied honestly.

Evelyn didn't answer for a long time, unsure as to what to say or how to take his statement.

"When will you be back?" House inquired, pulling Evelyn out of her funk and causing a slight smile to tinge her lips at how hopeful he sounded, even if it pained her to think he'd given up on Lisa.

"End of March," she admitted.

"Good," he replied. "But keep in touch and… let me know how Rachel's doing, when you can."

"I will, Greg," she softly responded, sniffing slightly.

House recognized that she was on the verge of tears and didn't really know how to deal with that. "I'll let you go," he quickly said.

"Alright," she acknowledged. "Give Georgia a kiss for me."

"You've got it," he agreed, hanging up immediately after.

House set his phone down on the counter and headed for the baby's room to look in on her. Staring at her as she slept, he wondered if he really meant it when he'd said that he didn't want Cuddy to change her mind. He genuinely thought he didn't anymore. He couldn't envision a plausible situation where she would decide she wanted to be in Evie's life and then be capable of following through. As big of a believer as he'd once been in Cuddy, he just didn't see how he'd ever be able to trust her with his kid. And that was frankly, sadly pathetic, because he was sure she'd probably felt the same way about him regarding Rachel at one time or another, and yet House would be the first person to say he'd earned his rights to be entrusted with her. He supposed the problem was, where Evie was concerned, Cuddy hadn't earned any rights at all. And those she was granted automatically by giving birth, she'd discarded without a qualm. How did anyone come back from that? No, he couldn't see Cuddy ever entering the picture. He didn't really want her to. It would never work.

* * *

February 9th, 2011

"Dr. Cuddy's here for her appointment," Linda said over the intercom.

"Send her in," Kate replied immediately, internally wondering if Lisa had made any progress this past week during her mother's visit or if they'd be going in circles again.

She offered Cuddy a smile and then asked, "Would you like some tea?"

Cuddy nodded and Kate got up to pour two mugs of hot water for them. Once she'd brought them over, she set one next to Cuddy and the other on her desk. Passing her the box of teas, she asked, "How has your past week been?"

Cuddy laughed humorlessly and then looked helplessly at Kate as she sat down in her chair. "You were right. I am constantly running away," she admitted reluctantly.

Kate raised an eyebrow but asked, "What happened?"

Cuddy sighed and crossed her legs, playing with her tea bag. Glancing down at her lap, she said, "When I got home last Tuesday night, my mom and Rachel were gone. I was relieved. I just didn't want to talk to my mom about House. I went into my room to change into something more comfortable and while I was in my closet, my eyes fell on the garment bag containing the wedding dress I had purchased to marry Lucas in. Right below it was the box of things I'd saved from my time with Lucas, though the majority of it was wedding-related. In staring at that stuff, I figured I just needed to dispose of it and move on. But I wanted a few days away too, without having to listen to my mom talk about House. So I threw that stuff in the car, packed a bag, and then left a note on the counter for my mom before running out the door and taking to the open road. I knew Rachel would be safe with my mom. And I know it wasn't the best way to go about things, but I just wanted some time to move on and I thought it would work. If I had waited to let my mom know that I was leaving, she would have demanded an explanation and it just wouldn't have worked out."

"Where'd you go?" Kate asked curiously, pleased that Lisa had already acknowledged she knew she was running.

Cuddy looked up at her and then gave a faltering half-smile before saying, "I didn't have a destination at first. But I ended up in Georgia."

"Georgia was just a random choice or was there a deeper meaning behind that?" Kate inquired, suspecting Cuddy had her reasons due to her current expression.

She sighed slightly and wrapped her hands around her mug before admitting, "When House and I were in med school together, he took me to Georgia over Spring Break on the back of his motorcycle. I… went there because I hoped I could work through my memories of him and then leave him behind."

Kate nodded, her lips pursing. "How did that go?"

Cuddy laughed depreciatingly and admitted, "It didn't go so well."

"What happened?" Kate queried, leaning forward in her chair.

She set her mug aside and then rubbed a hand over her face before explaining, "I tried to relive my memories of our time there. Of our time… together. I thought maybe that was all I needed or that I could look at our relationship and remember the painful moments and that they would then eclipse the good ones I was clinging to. I tried to think of the most hurtful things he'd ever done or said. But in the end, being there, it just brought me back. It didn't free me at all."

"Do your good memories of House from the past outweigh the bad?" Kate asked after thinking about her intentions and all she was striving for.

"I don't know. I guess the emotions I have tied into them do," Cuddy murmured.

"So when that didn't work out for you, what did you do?" Kate questioned next.

Cuddy moistened her lips with her tongue and said, "I went back to the hotel and burned my things from Lucas, thinking at least I could dismiss this fanciful idea I have of marriage being in my future."

Kate looked at her circumspectly and inquired, "You don't think there's still a chance for you to find happiness with someone?"

"I just don't see it happening. I don't even know that I want it to. I… think I am… in love with House. And since I can't have House…"

Cuddy's voice trailed off as her eyes fell to the floor. Kate waited, allowing her to decide where she wanted to take the conversation.

After a moment, Cuddy continued, "I went back to my hotel and burnt everything from my time with Lucas. There was no point saving it. I didn't want any of it. I figured it would help me."

"What did you do with the dress?" Kate asked, seriously hoping she hadn't destroyed a dress that probably cost Cuddy a fortune.

Cuddy stared at her for a minute and then said, "This is where things go wrong." She bit her lip before admitting, "I took the dress out to the car and I thought I'd go down to the beach and look at the stars, reliving another memory. When House and I went… well, it was just another precious memory I had. He'd pointed out the constellations and told me why they were named as they were and the history and mythology behind them. I wanted to remember that time. On the way, I saw a liquor shop and thought a little wine wouldn't hurt, so I picked up a bottle."

"But you were still taking your meds?" Kate asked to clarify.

Cuddy nodded, her nose wrinkling in chagrin. "So, I… don't know WHY exactly but I ended up putting my wedding dress on in the car, which was REALLY hard to do. But I think I figured I might as well wear it once, since I just intended to get rid of it before returning home. And I trudged down to the beach in it, heading for an unlit pier so that I could lay there and gaze at the stars. But then I had some wine and… it made me really drowsy and lethargic. I'm sure I am lucky to be alive after that mistake. I made it off the pier safely but… well," she muttered, her expression one of embarrassment, "I got picked up by the police and spent the night in jail, not that I was conscious of that fact until the next afternoon."

Kate looked at her wide-eyed, trying to imagine this scenario. "At least you were safe. What happened after that?" she finally asked.

Cuddy pursed her lips and said, "All I remember is waking up the next afternoon in a jail cell, still in my wedding dress. I… tried to clarify how long they were holding me for or if they were pressing charges. The deputy I spoke with said I'd been picked up for Public Intoxication and that I'd be staying there until my ride arrived. Well, I don't know anyone in Georgia and I had no idea how they'd contact anyone, unless I had been more aware than I remembered and been able to tell them to call my mother. But it was ridiculous to think she'd come down. So I sat there, waiting, not knowing who was coming as the deputy didn't know who had been called. And it was bad enough because the deputy kept making all these jokes and comments about my wedding dress, as if I wasn't horrified already. But then… House showed up."

Kate stared at her. "Dr. House went down to Georgia to get you out of jail?" she asked incredulously.

Cuddy groaned in embarrassment but nodded slowly. Silence descended between them for a few minutes as Kate tried to process this revelation and Cuddy relived the travesty of having House show up in time to witness one of her most shameful moments ever.

"How did they get in contact with him?" Kate finally inquired. "Did you ask for him?"

Cuddy shook her head. "I had him listed as an emergency contact in my purse. I haven't updated it in years. It never even occurred to me."

"What did he say when he saw you there in Georgia, wearing your wedding dress that you intended to marry another man in?" Kate couldn't resist asking.

Cuddy bit her lip and closed her eyes tightly but mumbled, "He asked me if I'd gotten comfortable or if I had a name and number to the groom that he could call for me while I finished planning out how I'd decorate my new love nest."

"Well," Kate began thoughtfully. "At least he had a sense of humor about it."

"He wasn't laughing," Cuddy interjected. "I practically begged him to get me out of there."

"Did he say anything at all? Beyond that," she amended.

Cuddy shook her head. "The deputy opened the door to let me go. House had already walked away. He got the keys to my car that they'd brought in to the station and then he signed me out before walking right out of the police station without another word to me. I followed him out to the car, incredibly mortified. I didn't even know how to explain. And if he wasn't going to make me, it just seemed better to let it go. He drove me back to my hotel, gave me an hour to change, call my mother, and check out, and then we got on the road, headed back to New Jersey."

"Did you talk to him on the way back?" Kate asked curiously.

"I offered to drive. He was rubbing his bad thigh and I thought maybe it would help if I drove. But he said he was fine. Then I… tried to think of something to say. We'd been driving for over two hours by then. And, I know it sounds stupid but… I asked him how he was. That just irritated him. Finally I asked why he'd come if he didn't even want to be anywhere near me. He… didn't answer," Cuddy mumbled. "I… asked him if he ever thought about Georgia and our time there."

"That must have made you feel pretty vulnerable," Kate acknowledged. "What did he say?"

"He got angry and yelled at me. He told me not to talk with him about Georgia. But I wanted an answer and when I pressed, he said no and that he never does," Cuddy sadly admitted, folding her hands in her lap and staring at them.

"Sounds like you pushed a button," Kate replied. "Do you think he was being honest? Or do you think he was just trying to get away from the subject?"

Cuddy looked up at her and considered it. "I don't know," she murmured uncertainly.

"What did you say?" Kate continued.

"Nothing," she responded, shaking her head. "I was hurt and he was angry. What was there to say?"

Kate nodded understandingly and then said, "Okay. What happened next?"

Cuddy moaned and then shot Kate an embarrassed look before glancing away. "He stopped for gas. I got out to use the bathroom. When I got back to the car, it was locked. I… there was a bar across the street and I really just wanted a drink to make it through this nightmare I'd landed myself in. I hadn't taken my prescription since the day before due to being in jail. I figured I was pretty safe. But I knew it would go badly if I did go for a drink, so I went back inside to ask for the keys. He wouldn't give them to me. So I stalked out of there and went to the bar."

"Why do I get the feeling that this didn't go over well?" Kate inquired with a small smile, knowing that in telling her the details of her trip Cuddy was actually doing pretty well at the moment, considering all that had happened.

"It didn't," Cuddy acknowledged mournfully. "But I just wanted something to boost my confidence and get me through the rest of the trip home with House. He was angry. I was miserable. I KNOW it was not smart, but sometimes, being around him makes me do the most stupid things!"

"How much did you drink?" Kate asked.

"I had three shots of Tequila before House came inside," she admitted, tucking her hair back and out of her face.

"And what did he say when he came in to get you?" Kate queried while thinking, three shots of Tequila?!

"He told me to get out in the car. This guy next to me got involved then. House ended up getting punched. I tried to help him but he pushed me away," she murmured resignedly. "He got up and told the other guy he could have me. He said something about how I was heaven on the eyes but hell on the heart. Then he turned and left the bar. I chased after him a second later."

Kate didn't even know what to say about this. Instead she asked, "But he waited for you?"

Cuddy nodded. "He pulled out of the parking lot once I was in the car like he'd gone off the deep end. He demanded to know if I was trying to kill myself. I explained that I hadn't taken my pills since the day before. Then my memory is a bit foggy. I think the alcohol was starting to take effect. I know he grabbed a pop from the backseat and pressed it to his jaw. I unbuckled and slid over, wanting to check his face. But he demanded that I return to my seat and slapped my hand away. I ignored his response. I… was so close to him and… I asked him if he really thought I was heaven on the eyes. He replied to say I make his life hell. And then I don't know what came over me. I just… wanted him. I mumbled something about how despite making his life hell, he still found me desirable and I closed the distance and… started kissing his neck."

"While he was driving?" Kate couldn't help asking. She actually thought that was a much more acceptable question in this moment than asking why Lisa tried to jump a man who was pissed off at her.

"Tequila just makes me…" Cuddy began but did not finish.

Kate pressed her lips together and then attempted to somberly nod in understanding.

"How did he respond?" she asked, trying to envision this scenario between the man who had treated her across the internet and her boss who sat before her.

"He shoved me away. I don't really remember what I said to him. I know I told him I just wanted one more taste of what we've had together. And I think," she murmured helplessly. "I think I told him he wanted it too."

Kate groaned at that point. "I'm sorry, Lisa," she replied. "But somehow I can't imagine this was a good way to break the ice and tell him you were still interested."

"I can't be with him anyway," Cuddy mumbled, looking at the floor.

Kate did not immediately respond, mulling the response over. Finally she asked, "What did he say?"

"He didn't say anything," she replied. "He pulled off the road and my stomach turned. I got my door open just in time to start throwing up. House grabbed a container of water and dumped it over my head. He gave me Kleenex to clean myself up with, a towel, and some mouthwash before kicking me out of the front seat, making me sit in the back. He got the car back on the road and then I fell asleep until he woke me up sometime later at a hotel. I fell asleep almost immediately once we were in the room. But I woke up in the middle of the night because he was snoring."

"You slept together?" Kate queried in shock.

Cuddy's eyes widened for a moment but she shook her head. "He got a room with two beds," she explained.

"But you shared a room?" Kate pressed, still surprised.

Cuddy nodded, knowing she hadn't thought anything of it at the time.

"Okay, so he was snoring…" she led back into the story.

"And I woke up. I complained and we bickered for a while. I tried to get out of bed but he'd… basically tucked the sheets in around me so that I couldn't get free," Cuddy mumbled, chagrined. "He fell asleep and I finally did escape, went to the bathroom, and then went back to sleep. He got up the next morning and chucked the pillow I'd thrown at him back at me to wake me up. From that moment on, I felt like whatever ground we'd achieved in the middle of the night, we quickly lost. He had me drive home and slept for a while. When he woke up, I… asked why he came down to Georgia. He replied to say the sheriff had called him. I asked why he didn't send someone else, like my mother. He said she had my daughter to take care of and that he did it as a favor to her because he didn't know what he was going to find when he got there. I questioned if they hadn't told him how I was and he replied to say he wasn't concerned by what they'd said but by my reasoning and mental status. I attempted to clarify that he was concerned about me and he said he was concerned about my mother. He implied that he'd known I was gone from the beginning and when I asked about that, he grew frustrated and told me to just ask what I wanted to know. Kate," she paused, looking up at her. "I couldn't help myself. I asked how he felt about me."

"What did he say?" she asked in sympathy. This whole situation was one of the most bizarre interactions she'd ever heard from a client but Kate couldn't help both being amused and decidedly curious about it.

"He didn't answer for a long time and then when he did, he said he didn't understand the question; that there was no point in asking because I'd made my decisions and he'd made his. He asked what I wanted from him. I… didn't know. Said that I just wanted to know where we stood. He grew angry and said there was no 'we' because there was no longer a relationship between us. We'd return home and go our separate ways; that that was how things were and how they should be," Cuddy finished, wiping at the tears sliding down her cheeks now.

"How did that make you feel, Lisa?" Kate asked gently.

Cuddy glanced up to meet Kate's eyes. She sniffed before whispering, "I know he's right but… I don't want to lose him. He's been such a big part of my life. I don't want him to not be a part of the rest."

"And you love him?" Kate pressed, leaning towards her.

Cuddy nodded, unsuccessfully biting back a sob.

"What happened between you two that it came to this?" she asked. "I mean, obviously there were issues due to your attachment to Lucas but do you think you could explain why he changed his mind? You said he wanted to be with you. When did that change?"

Cuddy remained silent. Ultimately she replied, "I pushed him away. I was… terrible to him. I couldn't handle what was going on in my life and I… took it out on him."

Kate nodded and glanced at her watch, knowing they were out of time. "I'd like it if you could confide in me, Lisa," she gently said then. "But we both know there are certain things that make you run and until you are able to commit yourself to not running, I'm more than willing to take this as slow as you need to. So I guess I want you to think about what you want to talk to me about next week when we meet. It's completely up to you."

Cuddy got to her feet, nodding slowly. "Thank you for listening and giving me an opportunity to process this. I know I'm… struggling. And I do… run. But I appreciate your patience."

"You're more than welcome," she responded with a soft smile. "There's really nothing to thank me for, though. I'm more than willing to be here for you and Lisa, I really want to see you heal, too."

Cuddy wiped at her eyes quick, nodded, and sniffed before turning to leave. Kate watched her go, her mouth pursed, her expression contemplative.

* * *

February 10th, 2011

House laid Evie down in her crib for the night and then headed back out to the couch, sprawling out across it to channel surf. But his mind wasn't really on the TV. His thoughts kept going back to something Erika had said the other day.

"Maybe she needs closure or something."

Closure. House sighed. How was he supposed to offer Cuddy that?

It wasn't his job to give her closure.

House rubbed his face hard as he tried to figure out what it was he wanted. So it wasn't his job. But could he do it all the same? If it meant freeing her to move on? If it meant allowing himself to move on?

He tried to think of what that would look like. Not the moving on part, because he didn't have any interest in playing that out in his head. But he tried to imagine what something offering closure to what had happened between he and Cuddy would look like. And then he remembered a piece of paper he had tucked away somewhere.

House did not have much to offer her. But he did have that. He didn't allow himself to consider what giving it to her would mean or why it generated an ache within his gut. All he allowed himself to contemplate was how it was what he could offer her. Getting to his feet, he found an envelope and then went searching for the piece of paper.

* * *

February 11th, 2011

House dropped off Evie at the day care the next morning, extra early, skipping out on his trip to the gym to workout. Then he headed back to his car, determined to get this over with. Heading for the highway, he drove the distance to PPTH intent on only being there for five minutes and hopefully, before too many people were around.

He parked in the visitor parking and reached for the envelope where it lay on the dash, tapping it against the steering wheel a minute before sighing and climbing out. He did not fail to notice that Cuddy's car was already in the parking lot. But he supposed it didn't matter one way or the other whether she was here. He didn't intend to do any more than place the envelope on her desk and go.

* * *

Cuddy had come in early to finish up on some paperwork she had to send out before the next board meeting. She sat at her desk in her office, sipping on a mug of tea and reviewing the document for errors before she made copies to be sent out.

There was a knock at her door and she absentmindedly called out, "Come in."

But her heart stopped when she heard him clear his throat, immediately looking up to meet House's eyes while shakily attempting to set her mug down without spilling it all over.

She didn't even know what to say. She just stared at him, trying to think, trying to breathe when he was in the room with her.

House took a few more hesitant steps into her office and then nodded at her before completing the approach to her desk, his eyes on her, allowing himself to recognize that she did look good. She looked like the old Cuddy. Though perhaps a bit more fragile as she watched him uncertainly, biting her lip.

"I just came to give you this," he murmured finally, reaching his arm out to set the envelope down on her desk before her. House then retracted his hand, his lips pursing, and finally he turned to go.

She watched him walk away, wanting to call out after him, wanting to stop him, but unable to come up with the words that would allow her to do that.

House paused in the doorway. He glanced back at her and the corner of his mouth came up slightly as he thoughtfully said, "It must be quiet around here. Without me, I mean. I… bet you get a lot more done."

Cuddy licked her lips and managed to tremulously say, "It's too quiet."

House didn't respond, his eyes going down to the carpet. After a moment he looked back up at her and mumbled, "Good luck, Cuddy."

With that he turned the doorknob and was gone a moment later, the door quietly clicking closed behind him. She watched him until he moved out of her sight and then glanced down to stare at the small blank envelope before her, unable to pick it up and find out what he'd come here to give her.

_**-----**_

_**"Baby says I can't come with him  
And I had read all of this in his eyes  
Long before he even said so  
Why go, I asked  
You know and I know why  
And it'll be just as quiet when I leave  
As it was when I first got here  
I don't expect anything  
I don't expect anything**_

_**Take care  
I've been hurt before  
Too much time spent on closing doors  
You may hate me, but I'll remember to love you  
Goodbye  
Don't cry  
You know why  
And it'll be just as quiet when I leave  
As it was when I first got here  
I don't expect anything  
I don't expect anything**_

_**All the waves of blame arrange as broken scenery  
As they steal your best memories away  
What if I was someone different in your only history?  
Would you feel the same  
As I walk out the door  
Never to see your face again  
Never to see your face again  
Never to see your face again**_

_**And it'll be just as quiet when I leave  
As it was when I first got here  
It'll be just as quiet when I leave  
As it was when I first got here  
I don't expect anything  
I don't expect anything  
I don't expect anything  
I don't expect anything  
I don't expect anything  
I don't expect anything to change when I leave"**_

_**

* * *

**_

Song: "Quiet" (Rachael Yamagata)

_**

* * *

**_

_**(Any guesses as to what he gave her?)**_


	57. The Way I Loved You

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

February 14th, 2011

"It's a good thing you had enough sense to not ask Wilson out for Valentine's Day," House informed Erika where she stood next to him in his kitchen, holding Evie while Trevor worked on his homework at the dining room table and House made dinner for the four of them.

Erika raised an eyebrow and shook her head. "I'm not so sure that having dinner with you on Valentine's Day is that much better."

"Oh, puh-lease! You're only too happy to be over here!" House sarcastically reminded her. "And there's no one who could satisfy your taste buds and appetite the way I can!"

"Getting a little full of ourselves, aren't we?" she inquired sharply, raising an eyebrow at him as she looked up from Evie, her mouth twitching on the verge of a smile.

"Nope. I just don't believe in false modesty. If you're the best, you're the best," he replied jauntily.

"There are probably twenty restaurants in Trenton, New Jersey whose cuisine tops yours hands down," she said then.

"Fine," he conceded, tipping his head to the side in a small nod. "But the ridiculously tiny portion sizes and extremely high prices accompanying their menu wouldn't even get you and Trevor through the door. Though you're welcome to leave to go eat at one of them."

She rolled her eyes, giving up on trying to playfully argue with him over this. It was a losing battle. And anyway, she was only too happy to not have to cook tonight.

"So what's on the menu, Chef House?" she quipped, tugging on the end of one of his apron strings so that he'd have to retie it.

He shot her a dirty look and waved his spatula at her before setting it down to redo the tie on his apron, double-knotting it this time. "You'll have to wait and see," he informed her somberly. "Now go away."

Her mouth twitched again but she shrugged and turned, heading off to change Evie's diaper while she waited, stopping briefly to look over Trevor's shoulder and double-check a few of the problems he was working on before continuing on her way.

House grabbed three plates and then headed for the table, returning a moment later for silverware and glasses.

"What are you going to drink?" he asked Trevor.

"Mom makes me have milk at dinner time," Trevor informed him, glancing up at House before returning to his math assignment.

"Are you always going to do what she tells you to?" House asked skeptically.

"House! I can hear you still!" Erika's voice came around the corner.

Trevor smiled at him but warningly said, "Don't go making her mad. It's not pretty."

"I live to make women mad," House replied with a shrug.

Erika came back into the room at that moment and shot him a droll look. "Maybe you'd have more success with them if you didn't," she dryly remarked.

"Well now, where's the challenge in that?!" he joked.

She shook her head at him and removed the pop bottle from his hand to give him the milk jug instead. "He's drinking milk," she muttered threateningly.

"Alright, alright," he griped. "Man, you're so controlling!"

"Just for that, you're having milk too," Erika replied.

"What are you going to do? Hit me if I don't?" House quipped.

"Don't tempt me," she murmured under her breath, taking the milk jug from him to fill the other glasses herself.

* * *

Cuddy hurried up her front steps, knowing she was running late and Stephanie had a date tonight. Before she reached the door, Stephanie pulled it open, which told Cuddy that she had been anxiously waiting for her to get home.

"Sorry," she murmured apologetically, taking Rachel from her once she'd set her briefcase down on the floor.

"It's alright," Stephanie replied. "Rachel kept me company while I fixed my hair and makeup in the bathroom. I just need to hurry up and get home to change. I should have just enough time before Brad shows up."

"Have fun," Cuddy said, giving her nanny a smile.

"Bye Rachel," Stephanie said then, giving the little girl a kiss on the cheek. "Have a good night, Dr. Cuddy!"

Cuddy watched her skip down the steps and shut the door behind her before focusing her attention on Rachel. "What should we do tonight?" she asked her, smoothing her hair back out of her eyes.

"See daddy?" Rachel asked hopefully.

Cuddy cringed. "No honey, we can't," she managed to murmur. "How about we fix some dinner and then play with your toys?"

Rachel considered it and nodded. "Mac 'n cheese?" she suggested.

Cuddy smiled and shook her head but replied teasingly, "Okay. Italian it is."

Cuddy settled Rachel in her booster seat in the kitchen and pulled out a box of macaroni and cheese to prepare for her daughter before ransacking the fridge for what was still leftover from what she'd cooked the previous night. She filled a pot with hot water and set it on the burner, turning it on before dishing up her pasta primavera to heat up. Staring out the window while she waited for the water to boil, she allowed herself to wonder if House had plans with Erika for Valentine's Day, her eyes flickering down before she took a deep breath and pressed her lips together, determining to focus on something that didn't end in her being depressed.

* * *

"Okay, I'm ready," House called out towards the living room, where Erika sat with Evie, feeding her a bottle.

She got to her feet and headed for the dining room, taking a seat beside House, Trevor taking the seat on the other side of him. House reached for Evie and settled her in the crook of his arm to hold her while she finished off her bottle, giving Erika full reign on dishing up a bowl of Greek salad for herself. She made sure Trevor took a little and then reached for a piece of freshly made bread, dipping it in the dish of olive oil House had set out before popping it in her mouth hungrily and savoring it's warmth and flavor.

"How was work today?" she asked House then, turning her attention to him.

He raised an eyebrow at the seemingly domestic question but said, "Not bad. I have a new patient. Looks like it might prove interesting. Lots of intermittent bleeding from orifices. That's always exciting."

Erika looked slightly revolted. "I think I'm sorry I asked," she murmured.

"How can you be grossed out by that?!" House inquired skeptically, placing Evie in her baby bouncer on the floor beside him now that she'd finished her bottle before reaching for his own salad. "You deal with teeth. Just think of how disgusting a place the human mouth can be."

"It's not that," she replied, finishing off her salad and reaching for the shrimp and feta vermicelli. "It's just the picture in my head of you gleefully standing over some poor individual who has blood gushing out their ears and eyes that's kind of disturbing. Especially as I eat."

"I think it sounds kinda cool," Trevor interjected, shoving a piece of bread in his mouth. "Blood everywhere. That's awesome."

Erika looked at her son, her eyebrows knit together. "Don't talk with your mouth full, Trevor," she reminded him, giving him a stern look.

Turning back to House she teasingly suggested, "Maybe we should switch and I'll raise a daughter and you can raise a son. I'm not quite sure I'm cut out for blood, gore, and violence. And I'm not all that positive you have what it takes to cut out paper snowflakes and hearts, or do makeup and go prom dress shopping."

"I can do paper hearts," House replied. "They'll just look like the real deal. Not that fruity shape people blaspheme with. And as for makeup and prom dresses, it won't matter. Once Evie hits puberty, she's going to be relegated to staying inside the house, far away from teenage boys with one thing on their minds."

Erika smiled but didn't get an opportunity to reply because Trevor looked up and confusedly asked, "What do teenage boys have on their minds?"

"Fast cars," she interjected, shooting House a quick look before he could answer Trevor, causing him to smirk.

"Oh," Trevor replied with a thoughtful expression. "I already think about fast cars."

House reached out and rifled his hair. "That's true," he agreed. "But if you start thinking too much about… fast cars when Evie grows up, you won't be allowed around either."

Erika laughed but Trevor looked concerned.

"But then we can't play Xbox or Chess together. Can I… still like monster trucks?" he negotiated.

House pretended to think about it but then nodded. "Monster trucks I can work with."

Trevor breathed out a sigh of relief.

* * *

"Anybody for another piece of Baklava?" House asked, extending the dessert around the table.

"I'd love to but there's no way I can manage it," Erika admitted, adjusting Evie on her shoulder. "I'm full from the first piece."

"I'll take some more ice cream," Trevor replied hopefully.

House laughed but gave him another scoop before Erika could object.

"So?" he prompted, turning and focusing his attention on her.

Erika looked at him for a moment, waiting until he sighed to reply to the question she knew he was asking. "Do you really even need accolades?" she inquired skeptically.

"Nope," he replied. "Not really. I'm pretty good at congratulating myself. But if you ever want to be invited over for dinner again, it's always wise to suck up a little."

She rolled her eyes but admitted anyway, "I really don't know anyone who cooks as well as you do, House."

"I know," he agreed, smiling smugly.

* * *

Cuddy tucked Rachel into bed that night and smoothed her hair back before kissing her brow.

"I love you," she murmured as she pressed another kiss to her cheek.

"Love you," Rachel replied sleepily, turning slightly to the side in the direction of the door, her right cheek resting against her hand as her eyes drifted closed.

Cuddy turned the nightlight on and then hit the light switch but she stayed in the room a little longer, watching Rachel as her breathing changed slowly into that of deep sleep. She was incredibly thankful for her little girl and how well-adjusted she seemed, despite all the turmoil Cuddy knew had taken place in their lives over the last year. She knew things could have ended much differently for them both. She knew she had a lot to be grateful for. She only wished she didn't owe so much credit to others. For her, it just seemed to serve as such a big reminder of how much she herself had failed.

Her head dropped forward and she stared at the floor a long moment before turning and easing out of the room, casting one last glance back at her daughter on the way out. Cuddy then went into the living room, turning on the TV to flip through the channels. But it seemed like the only things on were made for TV movies or specials, somehow related to the holiday. Even if they weren't already half over, she just didn't have it in her to watch. She couldn't stomach it right now; couples discovering love and striking out into the bright blue beyond.

Clicking the TV off with the remote, she got up and went through the house, turning off lights before heading to her bedroom. It was early still but she didn't really feel like doing much of anything so going to bed seemed like the logical choice. She brushed her hair and then changed into her pajamas before hitting the lights and climbing into bed.

Cuddy lay there, staring up at the shadows being cast in upon the ceiling through the windows, her mind flicking back to last Friday and House's unexpected appearance. She hadn't been lying. The hospital was too quiet without him. She wondered if he'd even understood what she'd been trying to admit to him. House was smart. He ought to understand it was an acknowledgement of how much she missed him. But sometimes, when it came to feelings and emotions, unless you came right out and said something, he interpreted them his own way. And she knew neither one of them was all that great with coming right out and saying something because of the vulnerability and exposure it required. In this case, maybe an incorrect interpretation was preferable. It would at least shield her from taking his lack of a response as outright indifference or rejection. But regardless, it was probably moot. When it was too late, what did an admission really accomplish?

The envelope he'd left her now sat in her desk drawer. She hadn't been able to open it just yet. His "good luck" scared her. It echoed his "goodbye" from the Saturday before in the finality with which he seemed to utter it. And yet the finality of never having a future together appeared to not only be a foregone conclusion but the only possibility for their relationship or… lack of a relationship, as he'd pointed out in the car.

She focused on the shadows once again, scrutinizing them. She wished she could turn back the clock. She wished she could return to one of the many nights House had awoken her about a case or… in a juvenile attempt to see what she was wearing to bed. She went to sleep, hoping that even if only in her dreams, he would come.

* * *

February 15th, 2011

Cuddy entered PPTH Tuesday morning and headed for her office, dropping off a few files with her secretary along the way. She entered her office, hung up her coat, and then crossed the room, taking a seat at her desk and picking up the phone to return a few calls that her secretary had already fielded for her that morning. As she spoke, she reached for a rubber band to play with and not finding one, tried to open her middle desk drawer to grab one out. But it was jammed. When it finally opened, the envelope House had left with her last Friday fell out and landed in her lap.

Cuddy fell silent for a moment but then realized the individual on the other end of the phone was waiting for a response and so she grappled quickly with what they had been discussing before replying, hoping her response was adequate.

As soon as she hung up however, her eyes fell back on the envelope and she bit her lip while reaching for it, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes before lifting it from her lap and slowly opening it. Even once it was open it took her a long time to get up the courage to pull out the folded piece of paper within. And then she just held it in its folded state, her hands trembling.

Her door opened right at that moment and she glanced up to find Wilson entering. She immediately moved her seat closer to the desk and hid the piece of paper in her lap, somehow afraid he'd take it from her before she'd get the chance to read it, even as terrified as she was regarding what it might contain.

He looked at her funny but said, "I need to get Mrs. Harris's file back from you. They're readmitting her right now because she had a severe reaction to the trial drugs."

Cuddy nodded and released the note to bring her hands back up and search her desk for the file he was asking for. She finally found it and held it out for him to take, the file waving slightly in the air due to her nervousness.

Wilson looked from the file to her, his eyes narrowing as his lips thinned out. He took it but continued to study her. "Are you alright?" he asked after a long pause, almost uncertain whether or not that was an appropriate question for him to ask her these days.

She nodded and then realized her mute status was not going to help her case. "I'm fine," she replied, doing her best to draw her shoulders up as she faced him.

"Okay," he murmured skeptically. His mouth quirked to the side but he dipped his head slightly and turned, heading for the door.

She watched him go, her hand slipping off her desk to touch the edges of the paper in her lap.

When Cuddy was sure he was gone, she pushed her chair back and swiveled it around to face away from the door. She sighed, pressing her eyelids closed before unfolding it. After a moment, she slowly opened her eyes to take a peek.

The only thing written on the piece of paper was an address. That was not as tumultuous as she'd expected the contents to be. But the idea of going, that was distressing. Especially since she had no idea what would be waiting for her there. She wondered what House HAD meant when he'd said good luck.

* * *

February 16th, 2011

Cuddy entered Kate's office and sat down in her chair with a sigh.

"Busy day?" Kate asked, giving her a smile.

"Pile-up on the highway," Cuddy replied. "I just got out of helping in the ER."

Kate nodded understandingly and then inquired, "How are you?"

"Okay," she admitted.

"Have you thought about what you'd like to talk about today?" Kate queried.

"No. Not really. I… House came by PPTH last Friday. He just dropped off an envelope on my desk and then left. I just opened it yesterday. The only thing inside is an address. But I don't know what the address is for and… I'm not sure I'm ready to find out," Cuddy acknowledged.

"He didn't give an explanation?" Kate asked in curiosity.

"Just said 'good luck'," Cuddy murmured, meeting Kate's gaze, her own reflecting her turmoil.

"What about it scares you?" she asked then.

"It just seemed so… final," Cuddy admitted, looking down at her lap and pursing her lips.

There was a long pause but finally Kate nodded and said, "I know we've talked a little about this but, what happened when House walked away in med school? How did you get through that?"

It was a couple minutes before Cuddy replied but finally her eyes dropped down to focus on the carpet and she murmured, "When House left, I was… devastated. There was no big fight. No breakup. No explanation. No goodbye. No nothing. We had sex and I thought things were good. I thought things were great. But then… he was just… gone. And I had to deal with the sudden realization that all that time, he'd never truly been committed to anything other than… laying me."

Kate considered Lisa's language a little… coarse, but she certainly had no objection to however she wanted to phrase herself, though she had to ponder her statement.

"You really believe that he spent almost a year developing a relationship with you, just to bed you?" Kate asked a little skeptically.

"What's the alternative? That I was just a terrible lay?" Cuddy asked with a choked laugh. "I guess that would make sense. I was a virgin with no experience."

Kate gave her a slight smile and then pointedly said, "There are other possibilities. I spend most days listening to people tell me about their lives. People do lots of things I have a hard time understanding which they themselves find perfectly logical."

"I'm sure I fall into that category somehow," Cuddy wryly replied.

Kate laughed softly but said, "Sometimes, if we don't ask questions, we don't give ourselves the opportunity to understand where another person is coming from. Why didn't you ask for an explanation when he came back into your life? I know you said he was in a relationship and that you figured it was ancient history, but… he was at PPTH for years and then wanted you back. Why didn't you ask at that point?"

Cuddy scoffed and looked away. "You've met him. He's a brilliant doctor but he's also arrogant, cocky, proud… I wouldn't even know how to go about asking. He's never been one to talk about feelings. That's always been something that makes him uncomfortable. And I… That's a lot of vulnerability for me. I ask him for an explanation, he's going to deflect, fall back on his sarcasm, or… humiliate me for caring. I guess I'm… equally proud. There's too much to lose. It's just too big a risk."

"What happened after he left?" Kate queried. "You were devastated. What does that mean?"

Cuddy rubbed a hand over her face but then straightened in her chair. "When I didn't hear from him, I did everything I could to get in touch. I called. I left messages. I went to his apartment. He didn't return my calls nor answer the door. I was crushed. And then I was informed that he got kicked out and… there was no hope. He was gone. I… the first few weeks, I only forced myself to leave my room for classes. It was hard enough just forcing myself to get out of bed and stop crying. The rest of the time, I just lay there on my bed, trying to make sense of it, trying to come up with an explanation, trying to find an excuse that didn't mean _I_ was the reason he walked away. But when I couldn't come up with anything, I realized classes were all I had left. I buried myself in them. I devoted myself to working hard. When my grades couldn't get any higher, I started using my free time to party. Then I… slept around for a while, started dating, tried to forget, tried to fill the gaping chasm in my chest he'd left me with, eventually… tried to move on."

"Would you care to tell me about your first significant relationship after House?" Kate asked, leaning forward across her desk.

Cuddy huffed out a breath but nodded. Turning her head away, she stared at the wall and said, "His name was Todd. We went to school together. My mom liked him but my dad… my dad was his biggest fan. Todd was Jewish. Which scored major points," she acknowledged with a small laugh. "He was a people person. He wanted to go into Family Practice. Everyone liked him. He could put you at ease right off the bat. He just… had that way about him. He was the guy every nice girl wanted to marry; polite, sensitive, caring, thoughtful, good-looking. If there was a guy who was known as being a great catch on campus, it was him. He said all the right things, was complimentary, charming. We dated about a year and a half. Everyone thought we were going to get married."

"What happened that the relationship ended?" Kate questioned contemplatively.

Cuddy shrugged and then gave her a wry smile. "I broke it off," she replied simply.

"How come?" Kate pressed.

"I… didn't love him," she admitted. "He was great and he was the guy everyone else would date and settle down with. But… I didn't love him. I… couldn't."

"Why is that?" Kate queried, already suspecting the answer.

"He…" Cuddy began, licking her lips.

It took some time for her to finally push the words out her lips. Finally she admitted, "Because he wasn't House."

-----

"_**He is sensible and so incredible  
And all my single friends are jealous  
He says everything I need to hear and it's like  
I couldn't ask for anything better**_

_**He opens up my door and I get into his car  
And he says, 'You look beautiful tonight'  
And I feel perfectly fine**_

_**But I miss screamin' and fightin'  
And kissin' in the rain  
And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name  
You're so in love that you act insane  
And that's the way I loved you**_

_**Breakin' down and comin' undone  
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you**_

_**He respects my space and never makes me wait  
And he calls exactly when he says he will  
He's close to my mother  
Talks business with my father  
He's charming and endearing and I'm comfortable**_

_**But I miss screamin' and fightin'  
And kissin' in the rain  
And it's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name  
You're so in love that you act insane  
And that's the way I loved you**_

_**Breakin' down and comin' undone  
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you**_

_**He can't see the smile I'm fakin'  
And my heart's not breakin'  
'Cause I'm not feelin' anything at all**_

_**And you were wild and crazy  
Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated  
Got away by some mistake and now**_

_**I miss screamin' and fightin'  
And kissin' in the rain  
It's two a.m. and I'm cursin' your name  
I'm so in love that I acted insane  
And that's the way I loved you**_

_**Breakin' down and comin' undone  
It's a roller-coaster kinda rush  
And I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you**_

_**Whoa, oh and that's the way I loved you**_

_**Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh**_

_**I never knew I could feel that much  
And that's the way I loved you"**_

* * *

Song: "The Way I Loved You" (Taylor Swift)


	58. Already Gone

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Well, I suppose the time has come to reveal House's intentions in giving Cuddy that address - since you are all awaiting it! :) Okay, I'm just going to come right out and say it. There are parts of this chapter that just strike me as ridiculously hilarious and entertaining, but I wrote part of it late at night so maybe that's part of it. :) Hope you enjoy! And... hang in there guys! Because we are SO close now!)_

* * *

Silence fell between Kate and Cuddy for several minutes as both processed that acknowledgement.

After some time, Cuddy brought her eyes up to Kate, wide-eyed and murmured, "I think in the end, I have sabotaged every relationship with a man I've ever had because I never got over the first. And because none of them ever… _filled his shoes_. No other man made me _feel_ the way _House_ did and… does."

Kate stared at her, her lips pursed, noting Cuddy's shock and the way even now she was still grappling with her discovery. Kate's mouth slowly curved up in a small sympathetic smile.

Cuddy exhaled heavily and shook her head, trying to refine everything she was feeling to crystal clarity before rubbing her face with her hands. "I don't know how I have managed to go all these years without realizing that," she whispered, her hands trembling ever so slightly.

"What about Lucas?" Kate asked, tilting her head a little to the side to study Lisa. "I know you thought he was your last chance. But you were prepared to marry him."

Cuddy thought about it for a while and then began, "Dating Lucas was… the first significant relationship I've been in, in a long time. And I did think he was my last chance. But he also entered my life through House. I think maybe I… dated Lucas in the first place because he… reminded me of House and yet had other qualities that I desperately wanted from House but never expected I'd be able to find in him. Lucas did inappropriate things that I expected of House, such as ransacking my desk before asking me out. And he'd come right out and say things other people wouldn't dream of voicing out loud. That was a little like House too. Lucas wasn't House, but he had a few traits I associate with House and that I… hoped would prove enough to stave off what always led my heart back to House. And, I knew House liked him. He'd hired him to do some investigative work for him and that was how I met him. I don't know that I was crazy enough to think House would be happy about it. But I think I hoped he would have an easier time accepting it."

"Why do you think you and House never dated in the time between when he came to PPTH and when you started to see Lucas?" Kate inquired thoughtfully.

Cuddy sighed and bit her lip before murmuring, "I didn't want to get involved with him. I didn't want to give him the power to hurt me again. He had power enough already to do that. And… he didn't seem interested anyway. We… bickered, bantered, flirted… but I don't think either one of us thought it could go anywhere. And then it did seem to be going somewhere… but when I finally hinted that I was interested, House… screwed it up by being juvenile and I was hurt. _Once again_!" she practically scoffed. "So I gave up. Then he did something incredibly thoughtful and sweet, and I went to him thinking maybe… But when I went up to his office, he was with another woman. I walked away before he could see me. We just… had terrible timing for _everything_."

"In the end, what made you give up on pursuing something with him?" Kate asked, knowing their time was running short but wanting to ask while she was thinking about it.

"I guess I had a few reasons. One was that I now had Rachel. I was a mother and had to start thinking about finding someone who could be there for the both of us. I knew that would never be House. He _wasn't_ dependable. And on top of that, he was _always_ taking crazy risks with his life. There were so many times when he terrified me by the things he'd do or the situations he'd find himself in. I couldn't handle the idea of losing him, so how would I survive it if I lost him after he came to mean more to me than he already did? I suppose that's reason number two. He was too much of a gamble. Third, there didn't seem any logical explanation for why I cared for him. He did have the ability to censer himself but he could also be cruel and heartless at times. He wounded me with barbs about my inability to be a good mother. Just when he'd draw me back in, he'd push me away with an insult or a dig. Then… something happened and he had to leave PPTH for a time to get help with his Vicodin addiction. For me, in the aftermath of that, I just _couldn't_ see how it would ever work out for us. I… I did know that I loved him, but… I told myself I couldn't anymore and buried my feelings. I told myself it was over and then… I started seeing Lucas."

"We're out of time for today," Kate said apologetically after a couple minutes of silence played out. "But maybe next week we can talk about your pregnancy, if you're up to it. Otherwise, think about what you'd like to talk about. If you decide to go to that address maybe you'll get an answer to that question of what he meant by 'good luck.' We could always talk about whatever comes out of that."

Cuddy nodded and got up to go, Kate also rising to walk with her to the door. Resting a hand on her shoulder, Kate said, "It's good to talk about things. I think it gives you a better perspective on the whole and allows you the opportunity to process. I hope this is helping you, Lisa. I don't know about you but I really think it is."

"I… don't know what will come from all this, but I do think you're right Kate," Cuddy acknowledged. "And I _needed_ someone to talk to. I… don't invest myself much in relationships. House and Wilson were probably the best friends I've had. And when I pushed House away, losing Wilson's friendship was among the consequences of that move. They're best friends. So I… I really appreciate you. I know you're seeing me as a client but… you're probably the only friend I have right now. And… thank you for that."

Kate squeezed Cuddy's arm warmly and smiled. "You're welcome," she replied. "I'll see you next week?"

"You will," Cuddy assured her, smiling softly before she turned and walked away.

Kate watched her go and thought, well, so Dr. Wilson is William. That made sense.

* * *

February 18th, 2011

House opened his front door to let Erika and Trevor in. He laughed when she wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Stop!" she protested. "I'm nervous enough about this!"

Trevor looked at his mom and then at House before he shrugged. He took his coat and boots off to head into the living room to turn on the Xbox and select a game.

House watched him go before refocusing on Erika, who lingered in his doorway. "Are you coming in?" he asked skeptically.

She shook her head. "I've got to finish getting ready," she replied, biting her lip.

A smile tugged at House's lips and he jutted out his chin before teasing, "You'd rather just stay here and play Xbox with us, wouldn't you?"

Erika made a grumpy face and muttered, "Do you know how long it's been since I've gone on a date? My last date was… forever ago."

"So what do you want me to do?" House taunted. "Do your makeup for you?! Style your hair?! Come along and hold your hand?!"

"You're such a jerk," she murmured. "You're my best friend. Where's the compassion?"

"You've come to the wrong guy," he said nonchalantly. "I don't dispense compassion."

"Yes you do," Erika whined.

"No. I don't," House disagreed, shaking his head in protest.

She pouted and then trudged in his direction before wrapping her arms around him in a hug, burrowing her face in his chest.

House sighed, rolling his eyes. But he still found his arm coming up slowly around her and the other stroking her hair.

"I told you that you do compassion," she murmured faintly.

House pulled his arm back and used his other hand to muss up her hair.

"House!" Erika scolded. "I just did my hair!"

"Get out of here," he instructed, giving her a dirty look. "Wilson doesn't bite. Or maybe he does but it's possible you'll like it," he threw in suggestively for good measure.

Erika shot him a mock glare but a smile tugged at her lips regardless. "You'll have Trevor home and in bed at 9:30?" she asked.

"He could just sleep here," House said pointedly.

Erika shook her head and sighed before muttering, "I know what you're thinking but it's NOT going to happen."

"Actually, I was thinking that I don't want to get stuck at your place with nothing to do until you decide to call it a night. Though I suppose I'll find a way to occupy myself while you're gone," he replied mischievously. "But now that you mention it…"

"I'm leaving," Erika mumbled, turning to go back out the door and into the softly falling snow.

House watched her go and chuckled before turning to go check on Evie who was asleep in her crib. Then he headed into the living room to join Trevor.

"What are we playing?" he asked, reaching for the second remote.

* * *

"You look beautiful," Wilson told Erika as they sat across the table from one another in the restaurant he'd taken her to.

"Thanks James," she replied with a soft smile, fingering her necklace around her throat.

"You're welcome," he said nonchalantly before giving her a curious look. "Can I ask you something?"

She froze, hoping House hadn't called him after she'd left to rat on how nervous she was. After a moment she nodded semi-reluctantly.

"Would you tell me about the first time you met House? Because he told me a long time ago but I'm still questioning whether he was just making it up to rile me. He didn't really… drop his pants, did he?"

Erika laughed, suddenly at ease.

"He did," she admitted, smiling brightly. "I'll be only too happy to tell you about it."

* * *

"Okay," House shouted out. "Here are the choices. I've got stuff to make tacos or burritos. I could order pizza or Chinese. OR we could get in the car, go grab some fast food, and then have some fun spying on your mom and Wilson."

"I'm tired. And it's too cold out," Trevor replied disinterestedly. "It makes my leg hurt."

"Bummer," House muttered under his breath, making his way back to the living room entryway.

Evie was lying on a blanket on the floor but she was definitely making progress at leaving it behind, successfully rolling in both directions now. "You could stay in the car," he thought to suggest, glancing at Trevor.

Trevor shook his head. "Mom would kill us. And besides, I really want to watch a movie and eat tacos."

House sighed dejectedly but gave in. "Tacos it is," he agreed, picking Evie back up and blowing raspberries on her neck before laying her back down in the center of the blanket.

"Make sure she doesn't roll all the way to Canada," he instructed Trevor before heading back to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

* * *

The conversation had progressed from meeting House to Trevor to work, over the course of their meal.

Erika set her fork down on her plate and reached for her wine before asking, "Do you enjoy your job?"

"I do," Wilson replied. "It's rewarding in its own rights, though definitely challenging. It's hard to watch patients die and know that cancer claims a lot of lives that I'm there to try and save but oftentimes, can only do so much for. It can be discouraging. I can't lie. And sometimes I feel like the only good I'm doing is giving a patient their best chance at living a little longer. But I've never regretted my specialty. There's a place for me to make a difference, even if it's sometimes done through compassion rather than through defeating the enemy."

"Are you happy at PPTH?" she inquired after the waiter brought them their desserts.

He contemplated the question and shrugged. "I think I am. I certainly have no intention of leaving. All my patients are there. I've got a great position. I've built up my practice. And I can't complain about my benefits."

"What don't you like?" Erika queried next, taking a bite of her white chocolate cheesecake and sighing rapturously over its flavor.

Wilson smiled over her reaction and then took a bite himself before giving her a somber look. "Don't ever tell him I told you this, but… I miss having House in the office next door. He still calls me on the phone from time to time, but it's not the same as having him constantly interrupt my work and bother me for consults or to wrack my brain, waiting for the simplest thing I say to act like a lightning strike and solve his case for him. In some ways, I guess when I had a patient dying it was nice to know I could still help save his, even if by doing nothing at all other than being a vehicle for House's thinking process."

"What's your boss like?" she asked, unable to mask her curiosity.

"What has House told you?" Wilson inquired skeptically.

Erika shrugged. "I know he thinks she's changed from the woman she once was. Or at least that she did when she became pregnant."

"You know she's Evie's mother then," Wilson replied.

"Or as House says, that she's chosen not to be," she admitted.

Wilson sighed. "Cuddy is an enigma. Once upon a time, I think she did love House. Or at least, that she wanted to see where their relationship might lead. Then I think she gave up on him and moved on. When House finally got his act together and decided he wanted to be with her, committing himself to the idea, he found out she was seeing someone else. And when things didn't work out for her with the other guy, no doubt in part because of House and his oh, perhaps _slightly twisted_ but typical Housian attempts to win her over, she did change. I think maybe she was already changing. Cuddy and House had a one-night stand and when she found out she was pregnant, she didn't… react well. To be honest, I can't explain her. I don't even get it. I know she really wanted to have children before she adopted her daughter Rachel. But she certainly didn't want Evie. And… she made House's life miserable up until the day Evie was born and he took her and walked away."

"He still loves her," Erika said before licking the chocolate off the tines of her fork.

"Yeah," Wilson breathed out resignedly, watching her with a slight smile. "I think he does."

"Do you think she's getting better?" Erika inquired, meeting his gaze and studying him.

"I don't really spend much time around her anymore," he admitted. "But in some ways, yes. I think she is."

"Do you think one day she'll want back into their lives?" she continued, placing her napkin on top of her plate before leaning slightly towards him.

"I don't know," Wilson replied uncertainly. "I hope not. I… I care for Cuddy," he said reluctantly, as if he was caving somehow just in acknowledging that. "But… House is my best friend. And I don't think her return would be good for him. I don't think I have the first clue how much she's hurt him. And that's saying something because I know quite a lot. Maybe if I thought there was hope for them… to make a go of it together, my…"

His phone went off right then and he reached for it, sighing, afraid that his date was about to be cut short. But it wasn't work.

He looked up at Erika, smiling again, and rolled his eyes before saying, "House is texting because he wants to know if we're talking about him. He says his ears are ringing."

Erika laughed. "Does he want us to be talking about him?"

Wilson considered the question and replied, "I'm not sure that there's an answer for that. But I'll ask him."

He sent a text back and a minute later his phone went off again. "He said he's going to take that for an answer in itself."

Before she could reply, his phone went off once again. Erika smiled, somewhat entertained. "What does he say now?"

Wilson slowly looked back up at her after reading the text. "I…" he hesitantly began apologetically. "I'm not going to quote him."

"Why?" Erika asked in confusion.

Wilson looked mortified when another text came through and read it but then dug a finger into his collar as if to loosen it.

Erika blushed automatically. Somewhat fearful she asked, "What's he saying?"

"He… uh…" Wilson began almost ashamedly, his phone going off another time. " …is giving me a rundown of better things we could be… doing right now. One text at a time."

Erika moaned painfully and Wilson immediately blushed, as House had just implied something about how to have her moaning, silenced his phone, and buried it back in his pocket, scanning the restaurant for the waiter to get their bill and momentarily provide relief from the sudden awkwardness caused by House's disruptions.

* * *

House was sitting out in Erika's three season porch when she got home three hours later and finally found him, Trevor being in bed and Evie asleep in the living room.

"I got your note," she sarcastically muttered in greeting, waving it in his face. "James has already gone home so there's no need for the instructions to your 'secret knock' to let you know you can go while we 'get it on.'"

House laughed at the look of indignation on her face but surprisingly, she came and sank down on the futon beside him, leaning back and sighing as if she was relieved.

"Did it really go THAT bad?" he asked doubtfully.

She turned her head to look at him and smiled. "No," she replied, shaking her head slightly. "I had a great time. We had dinner and then went to the symphony. It was nice and very… gentlemanly. Which is more than I can say for you!"

House laughed again. "That'll teach you to make me the topic of conversation."

"Well, let's face it. You've become my best friend. You're his best friend. We're bound to talk about you," Erika said then, leaning into his shoulder a little. "And anyway, James says that's kind of a great thing. He says we'd be doomed if I didn't not just like you but love and accept you. He describes the two of you as a 'buy one, get stuck with the other' deal. I think James has given up on making a relationship work that doesn't have room in it for you and your ways. Though I must say House, if you EVER send me the texts you were sending him, I'll… cut off your digits one by one."

"Oh, you talk so dirty," he quipped sarcastically.

She rolled her eyes but seriously asked, "Does it bother you if we talk about you? In a lot of ways, tonight you were an icebreaker – a commonality we had to spring off of."

House considered it and said, "Nope. I trust Wilson. I trust you. I'm good with it. And I knew it would happen in you dating one another. If I tell you something that I don't want you to tell him, you'll know. Same goes for him."

Erika nodded agreeably.

"BUT," House said almost warningly. "IF you tell him something I've asked you not to, I'LL be the one cutting off digits."

Erika laughed but then bit her lip to stop herself before extending her hand to him. "Deal," she agreed.

"Wait a minute," House declared suspiciously, eyeing her hand. "If I shake your hand, am I saying I won't ever send you texts like I sent Wilson tonight?"

Erika considered his question but sighed. "You're just accepting my guarantee that I'll keep your trust. AND, that you'll at least TRY to behave until you know if this relationship is going to go somewhere."

He took her hand and shook it but smiled broadly and said, "I already know it is."

"How do you know that?" she asked dubiously.

"Your lipstick is smudged," he quipped.

She immediately pulled her hand away to bring her fingers up to her lips.

"Really?! You kissed him?! Oh, you fast mover you!" he teased, laughing at her embarrassment.

Erika smacked him across the chest. "You liar!" she gasped out. "You just wanted to get a reaction!"

"And it worked," House smugly replied.

Erika pouted but didn't say anything for a minute. Finally she grumpily defended, "One kiss isn't moving fast."

"I could be for you," he picked on her. "Considering you haven't been kissing anyone since your hubby died and this is just your first foray back, splashing about in the stream."

"I kissed you," she reminded pointedly.

"Potatos, patatos," House dismissed.

They sat there together in silence for several minutes before Erika looked at him and skeptically informed him, "Wilson said I'm crazy to have left you to your own devices in my house for a few hours. He said by the time I made it home, you'd have gone through my underwear drawer, any diaries you might happen upon, and probably even go on an expedition through everything in my closet."

"Yeah. I must say, the red lacy thong is _NICE_!" House taunted.

"It's my most comfortable one," she replied nonchalantly.

"Seriously?! I missed out on finding a red thong by not venturing upstairs tonight?!" he whined tragically.

Erika turned her head and smiled. "I don't have a red lacy thong."

"Well, that's just disappointing," House pouted, throwing his head back on the cushion.

"I have a black one though," Erika threw in helpfully.

After a few minutes she asked pointedly, "You do realize this is winter, right? Most people don't use a three season porch this time of year. It's too cold."

"I like the futon," House replied with a shrug.

"No one likes this futon," she argued.

"I do," he disagreed.

Erika rolled her eyes but dropped the subject, content to just sit there with him for a while.

"Are you going to ask for details?" she then inquired curiously.

He turned his head to look at her. "Do you want me to ask for details?" he asked, his tone laced with irony.

"No. I'll just go ahead and tell you," she determined with a smile.

"Figured you would," House replied easily, settling himself deeper in the lumpy futon in preparation for her take on things, knowing he'd be hearing about it from Wilson once he got home and returned the call he knew was waiting for him at this very minute on his answering machine. Though Wilson's intention would fall more along the scale of reaming him out for the text messages he'd left. All thirty seven of them. Each more descriptive than the last.

* * *

February 19th, 2011

Wilson pulled in House's driveway the next morning and then came around to the front.

"Are you seriously shoveling?" he asked House in disbelief. "Did you shovel your own driveway?!"

"The guy who usually does it for me is sick. He called to let me know he wouldn't be able to come by. If I don't do it now, it'll kill me tomorrow, once the temperature rises enough to make it slushy but not melt completely. Anyway, it's good exercise," House replied dismissively.

"But if you fall…" Wilson muttered warningly.

"There's no ice," House replied in irritation before pointedly saying, "Grab a shovel and make yourself useful. Or go shovel for Erika and save her the trouble. She uses the same guy I do."

Wilson grabbed a shovel and said, "I'll help you finish up and then head over there. But where's Evie?"

House pointed to the baby monitor on the front steps. "Sleeping," he replied.

Wilson nodded and asked, "What's the plan for today?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do?" House asked. "Tell me all the juicy details from your date with my neighbor?"

"I think you could satiate yourself with your imagination alone," Wilson dryly replied. "It's much more extensive and descriptive."

"Yeah. But I'm still waiting to her if you asked her out again," House pointed out.

Wilson smiled and glanced at Erika's house before tossing another shovelful of snow off the sidewalk. "I will," he replied casually.

* * *

February 22nd, 2011

Cuddy was going to do it. She had made her decision. Today on her lunch break she was going to find the address House had given her and at the very least, do a drive-by to investigate why he'd come to PPTH that Friday morning to give it to her.

She almost ran right into Wilson as she hurried around the corner of the fourth floor to get her rounds accomplished. "Sorry," she apologized, reaching out to steady him.

"My fault," he replied dismissively, stepping back before she could touch his arm. "I'm perusing this file and not paying enough attention to where I'm going."

Letting her hand drop awkwardly back to her side, she stared at him a minute.

Wilson met her gaze but then dropped his eyes and mumbled an "Excuse me," before stepping around her and continuing on his way. She turned around to watch him go, unable to stop herself from sighing in regret. This is what their relationship consisted of now. Awkward private interactions and strictly business professional ones. Board meetings were spent at opposite sides of the table from one another, doing everything possible to avoid looking at the other person unless necessary.

But Cuddy didn't have the first clue how to bridge the gap between them, even if it was possible, which she was fairly certain it no longer was. Looking down at her feet, she pursed her lips and then looked back up before continuing down the hallway, trying to push what had become of her relationship with Wilson from her mind.

* * *

"I'll be back in an hour," Cuddy informed her secretary in passing as she pulled her coat on and then adjusted her hold on her purse.

Janine nodded and went back to typing up the document Cuddy had given her to add some additional notes to.

Cuddy headed out the front door and towards her car, thankful that the sidewalks were well salted and the ice melted, considering the heels she was wearing that day. She unlocked her car and climbed in a moment later, starting the engine and shivering at the temperature, adjusting the knob to turn up the heat before pulling out of her parking spot. Then she took a left and drove in the direction of the address House had given her, slowing down as she got closer almost to the point of going tediously slow.

She was almost relieved to find herself parking in front of a strip of office buildings, though she wasn't sure whether she was justified in her relief. After all, she still had no clue why she was here. Opening her door, she unhurriedly shifted and brought one heel and then the other down onto the asphalt before climbing out of her car completely and shutting the door behind her. But she had only taken a few steps away from her car when her eyes fell on the sign advertising for Lucas Douglas, P.I. She froze, staring at it, her mind going blank and then restored to a jumble of emotions and feelings, thoughts and questions.

A car door shut behind her but she was too out of it to pay the noise any heed.

"Lisa?" came a hesitant voice from behind her. "What are you… doing here?!"

Cuddy turned around and met Lucas's gaze, a mixture of bewilderment and horror stealing over her features. "I…" she attempted to say, her words not issuing forth as she meant for them to.

He studied her, suspect, and then pointedly asked, "Are you stalking me?"

Cuddy didn't think there was another question he could have asked that would have mortified her more than that one did. "No!" she immediately protested.

He looked at her dubiously but finally said, "Good. Because to tell you the truth, this is kind of freaking me out. When I ended things between us, you went all… crazy on me. Calling me all the time, leaving voicemails, e-mailing. For a while there, I thought I might have to get a restraining order on you. But I figured you'd get the message when I cancelled my phone. Still… what are you doing here?"

Cuddy stared at him, to some extent wounded by his direct words and what he'd obviously thought of her when he'd walked away and then to another, ashamed of her behavior from the past and that she'd poured that much effort into hanging onto him, never considering just how pathetic it had made her seem in his eyes.

Lucas stared right back, uncertain as to what he was supposed to do or say in this moment.

Finally Cuddy broke their gaze and looked down at the ground before moistening her lips and murmuring, "I didn't know this was where your office was. The address was left with me without any mention of what the actual location was."

"Huh," was all Lucas could think to respond with. "Well, it's probably not a good idea for you to be around here. McKenna's inside and while I don't think she'd be jealous, I wouldn't want her to look outside and get the wrong idea."

McKenna? The fiancée? Oh. "She's here?" she couldn't keep herself from asking.

Lucas looked a little embarrassed and he rubbed the back of his neck before acknowledging, "She's my secretary."

Cuddy's eyes widened slightly at that piece of news but she managed to nod.

"I should get going," Lucas said then, moving to step around her.

"Lucas," she said, bringing him to a stop.

"Yeah?" he replied, his eyebrows raised and one hand casually placed in his pocket.

"I'm… really not stalking you," she hesitantly mumbled, feeling color flood her neck even voicing those words.

"Okay," Lucas said with a shrug.

"I'm… sorry about how I reacted when you ended things. I… can't explain my behavior. But, I think you were right now. I did have feelings… I loved House all along," she amended. "You were right to call off the engagement."

Lucas's eyebrows had risen at her words but he nodded, acknowledging her statement. "Take care, Lisa," he said then.

"Bye Lucas," she quietly responded, heading back to her car and climbing in a moment later. Once the key was in the ignition, she closed her eyes before turning it, in complete disbelief that this had happened.

Driving back to the hospital, still a little pained by Lucas's admissions, she couldn't help asking herself why House would do this to her. She really didn't understand what his thinking had been.

* * *

February 23rd, 2011

Cuddy had just finished filling Kate in on what had happened when she'd gone to the address House had given her, doubly mortified now that she was repeating it out loud to someone else.

"Why would House DO that?" Cuddy asked Kate. "That was just… mean."

"Was it?" she asked gently.

"What?!" Cuddy questioned in disbelief, her features distorted by her objection that it could classify as anything _other_ than mean.

"He wished you 'good luck'," Kate reminded her.

"Good luck hearing what a fool you made of yourself and how stupid you looked?" she replied sarcastically. "How can that be anything but mean-spirited and cruel?"

Kate bit her lip and mulled it over a minute, trying to think of how to work through this one with her. Finally she asked, "House wouldn't have any idea what Lucas would say to you, would he?"

"I… suppose not," Cuddy hesitantly acknowledged. "But what are you trying to tell me?"

Kate gave her a sympathetic smile and suggested, "Maybe he was giving you what you wanted."

"What?" Cuddy asked, thoroughly baffled.

"Maybe he was trying to say he was releasing you to seek after the happiness you'd been envisioning for yourself. I could be wrong, but it might just be that he was attempting to act unselfishly, instead of trying to hurt you as you're leaning towards believing. Maybe he gave you the address thinking Lucas was what you wanted most and perhaps the two of you still stood a chance," Kate proposed.

"But Lucas ISN'T what I want at all!" Cuddy denied adamantly.

"House doesn't necessarily know that, though," Kate pointed out.

"But I was just in GEORGIA! He had to come down there! Why would he even think I'm still hung up on Lucas?" Cuddy asked incredulously.

"Well, you were in Georgia," Kate acquiesced. "I'll give you that. But when he found you, what were you wearing?"

Cuddy's head fell back against the cushion. "My wedding dress that I was supposed to marry Lucas in," she admitted softly.

"But… I started necking him on the ride home! I threw myself at him!" she interjected after a moment.

Kate bit back a laugh and when she had control of herself, replied, "You were drunk. And you yourself keep referring to this chemistry between the two of you. Wanting to have sex with him doesn't necessarily mean you want to be with him now and forevermore. You said that you told him you wanted one more taste of what you'd had together. One taste. Singular."

Cuddy groaned, her eyes closing in humiliation. Without opening her eyes, she said, "All the same, why would I ask him about his feelings for me if I wasn't interested?"

"But you didn't tell him your feelings," she reminded immediately.

After a minute she said, "Lisa, I don't have the first clue what happened between you two during your pregnancy, other than that you pushed him away and treated him poorly. So I don't really have any idea whether he's interested or not. I WOULD question how much you can judge based on one trip that, admittedly, did not go so well. And I would also CAUTION you from thinking he is interested, because, to my way of thinking anyway, it would appear that he thought he was doing you a favor when he gave you that address and wished you good luck with the man that I assume he knew you once thought to be at the center of the universe. Giving you that address strikes me as a symbol that he wants you to be free to move on with someone else. It could very well be that he doesn't want to be the one to hold you back. But again, this is one of those questions that you'd really have to ask him in order to understand where he's coming from and I don't know… reach out to him."

"But we really can't be together anyway," Cuddy replied morosely.

"Okay," Kate replied. "But I don't know why that is. It seems to me, he's all you've ever wanted. All this time. And frankly, the man went down to Georgia to retrieve you. If you've really treated him as terribly as you've told me, then that really says something about how much he cares about you. But if you want to move on, that's… fine. At the same time, I'm not sure how to help you do that until you're ready to. And honestly, I think you're going to have to clue me in to why you can't be together so that I can know how to help you get somewhere."

Honestly, Cuddy knew she was running out of other topics to divert to from the subject of her pregnancy. The time was coming. She just had to commit herself to opening up.

Cuddy lifted her arm up into the air, extending her pager above her head where it lay on the back of the chair still so that she could see the time. "Next time then," she replied resignedly.

"I'll be here," Kate said lightheartedly.

* * *

Cuddy drove home that night, perplexed and yet thoughtful. Kate might be correct in thinking House misinterpreted her or okay, that she'd screwed up multiple times if she'd thought she was somehow conveying appropriately her… interest in him. And perhaps he had given her the address, not to hurt her but to… give her what he thought would make her happy. Only, Lucas wouldn't make her happy. He'd never been equipped to. Unknowingly, it had been House all along. He'd stolen her heart in med school and never returned it to her.

But that DEFINITELY didn't make it a positive thing, that he'd released her to seek love elsewhere. She didn't want him to be unselfish. Cuddy wanted quite the opposite. She wanted him to club her over the head if he had to and drag her back to his cave to have his way with her and stake his claim forever.

She tried to remind herself that this was wishing for the impossible. It couldn't be that way. It COULD NOT.

But all the same, she found herself digging hurriedly through her purse at the next light, finally locating her cell phone and hitting his speed dial number. She tried not to question why she still had it saved and had never _gotten around_ to deleting his contact information, instead pressing the talk button.

"Hello?" an unrecognizable voice came over the line.

Cuddy bit her lip in confusion but forced herself to ask, "Is House available?"

"House? No. No House here. Wrong number," the man who she was now almost positive was of an Asian descent informed her.

"Oh…" Cuddy replied, searching for something to say. "I…"

But the man on the other end had already hung up.

Cuddy slowly put her phone back into her purse. House had changed his number. She… supposed she should have thought he would. But somehow she hadn't. He… She groaned. She had been about to admit that she just always expected he'd be there if she really needed him. Somehow, for her, that had meant he'd keep his number the same, just on the off chance that she'd call. She really hadn't ever wanted him to move on. That was… truly sad and now it seemed like a realization made too late in the game.

Cuddy drove the rest of the way home, a frown firmly fixed on her face. It would seem she was too late to tell him anything. Again, AS IF it would make a difference. He'd clearly given up on her and moved on. She didn't know House as someone who'd give her the address he had if he hadn't given up and decided it was over between them. She knew she was resisting the truth, not wanting to accept it, knowing it would haunt her. But resisting the truth didn't change the truth. And the truth was that House was already gone.

-----

_**"Remember all the things we wanted  
Now all our memories, they're haunted  
We were always meant to say goodbye  
Even with our fists held high it**_

_**Never would've worked out right, yeah  
We were never meant for do or die**_

_**I didn't want us to burn out  
I didn't come here to hurt you  
Now I can't stop**_

_**I want you to know that it doesn't matter**_

_**Where we take this road  
Someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know**_

_**You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone**_

_**Looking at you makes it harder  
But I know that you'll find anotherThat doesn't always make you want to cry  
Started with a perfect kiss then**_

_**We could feel the poison set in  
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive  
You know that I love you so I**_

_**Love you enough to let you go**_

_**I want you to know that it doesn't matterWhere we take this road  
Someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know**_

_**You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone  
I'm already gone  
Already gone  
You can't make it feel right**_

_**When you know that it's wrong  
I'm already gone  
Already gone  
There's no moving on  
So I'm already gone  
Already gone (x3)**_

_**I'm already gone (x3)**_

_**Remember all the things we wanted  
Now all our memories, they're haunted  
We were always meant to say goodbye**_

_**I want you to know that it doesn't matter**_

_**Where we take this road  
Someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know**_

_**You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone  
I'm already gone  
Already gone  
You can't make it feel right**_

_**When you know that it's wrong  
I'm already gone  
Already gone  
There's no moving on  
So I'm already gone"**_

_**

* * *

**_

Song: "Already Gone" (Kelly Clarkson)


	59. Butterfly Fly Away

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(October, October? Try March, March. March is Cuddy's October. :) Wake up, my dear - Pt. 1)_

* * *

February 26th, 2011

"Wilson, you look ridiculous," House informed him dryly from where he stood in the entryway to the living room, watching his best friend interact with his daughter. "You also _sound_ ridiculous."

Wilson rolled his eyes but ceased his meaningless babbling and stopped rolling around on the floor before Evie, who was giggling at him. "You said she's able to cross the whole stretch of a room by rolling. I'm trying to motivate her. I want to see her do it," he protested.

"She's not a circus performer," House sarcastically quipped.

"Come on, Evie! Roll over for your Uncle Wilson," he urged her, ignoring House and focusing his attention on the baby staring at him from where she lay on her belly on the floor before him, her head up off the ground and focused upon him, one fist in her mouth.

"George isn't a puppy either," House added. He shook his head and then sighed heavily before saying, "You just don't know how to motivate her."

"Well if it's that easy, you get her to roll over for me," Wilson instructed, semi-annoyed with House.

House headed for Evie's bedroom and grabbed a chick he'd picked up at the store which Evie had become fascinated with when they'd wandered the aisle, House looking through the Easter candy that had already been put out on the shelves. Heading back into the hallway, he stopped right outside the living room and then slowly sank down onto the floor.

"Alright George," House called to her, twisting the knob to make it march and tweet. "Let's see you in action."

Evie's head immediately turned in his direction and then she lowered it and slowly flipped over, rolling several times until she reached the cheeping chick and stared at it, babbling happily.

"My niece is a genius," Wilson acknowledged.

"Of course she is," House replied, as if offended by the mere suggestion she could be anything less. "She takes after her old man."

Wilson shook his head but then got up to go track down the camcorder.

House scooped Evie up and rubbed his stubble against her neck as she chortled before settling her in his lap and handing her the chick.

"The '_My Dad Is Rad_' t-shirt is a nice addition to her collection," Wilson replied with a snort upon returning.

"I thought so," House smugly agreed before placing the baby back down on the floor, taking the chick away to place across the room so that Wilson could capture Evie this time on film.

* * *

February 28th, 2011

House entered the baby room at the daycare and set Evie's baby carrier up on the counter before unbuckling her and lifting her out.

"Check this out," he said to Michelle as she got up from the floor where she was camped out with a baby to approach him and take Evie's baby carrier to place in the crib room.

House set Evie down on the counter in a seated position and she wavered slightly, her eyes wide, but when she had steadied herself, House released her and she sat there upright all on her own.

"She mastered it last night," he told her proudly.

Michelle smiled and applauded for Evie, causing the baby to smile and chortle.

House reached out and carefully mussed Evie's hair in affection, not wanting to make her lose her balance in the process.

"Are you ready to try her on baby food?" Michelle asked, lifting the baby up and settling Evie in her arms.

House rolled his eyes.

"She's ready," Michelle informed him. "You're just dragging your feet because you don't want her to grow up," she added knowingly.

"That's an outrageous accusation," he replied somewhat indignantly. "I demand you take it back."

Michelle laughed at him and tossed her hair over her shoulders. "I'm just saying…" she trailed off teasingly.

Sandy entered right then and shot House a flirtatious wink. "Hey Dr. House," she greeted. "Miss me this weekend?"

House's eyebrows rose and he looked at Michelle briefly before quipping, "Nope. But it's obvious by the rate with which you're salivating that you missed me."

Michelle laughed but Sandy was more than willing to indulge him, pretending to wipe away a stream of drool. "Sorry. Just can't help myself. You walk in the room and I feel like I'm one of Pavlov's dogs."

House turned to Michelle, a hand coming to his cheek. "Am I blushing?" he inquired mock-girlishly, pretending to fan his face.

Michelle rolled her eyes at the both of them and then held Evie out towards him to say his morning goodbye.

House leaned forward to plant a kiss on Evie's cheek and then turned towards Sandy as he headed for the door. "You really should get some self-control," he taunted. "I'm going to have to put a restraining order on you soon."

"I'd rather you take something off me," she murmured playfully.

Even House hadn't expected that. It took him a moment to pull himself together and then he managed to feign embarrassment and reply, "Oh you!" before slipping past her out the door, rolling his eyes and rubbing his face once he'd gotten beyond the daycare into the hospital corridor before he allowed himself to chuckle.

House had to acknowledge one thing to himself then. Women were definitely going to be the death of him.

* * *

March 2nd, 2011

Cuddy walked to Kate's office as if she was going to her execution. She knew she'd reached the point where she had two options: to stay or to run. But staying meant she had to start talking about her pregnancy and she didn't know how she could bear to open herself up to thinking about it, let alone discussing it, even with Kate, someone she now trusted implicitly. She paused outside the glass doors that would bring her to Kate's waiting area, her eyes clenching closed as she tried to just focus on breathing normally for a minute. Finally she opened them and reached for the door handle, feeling more weighed down than she had in a while now by all that stretched before her and all that had taken place already.

Linda announced her presence and then waved her on in. Cuddy entered Kate's office, shutting the door behind her, now sick to her stomach.

Kate smiled when she saw Lisa come in but as she studied her, the smile faltered and then disappeared completely. Honestly, Lisa looked like she was about to have a stroke. Her normally pale skin was now pasty white and her breathing slightly erratic. Concerned, she got to her feet and directed her to take a seat, afraid she'd pass out.

"Are you okay?" she asked worriedly, coming around the desk to place a hand on her arm.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Cuddy whispered.

Kate's eyes grew wide and she reached a hand out to feel for a temperature, just in case. But if anything, Lisa was a bit clammy.

"Have you been sick this week?" she inquired, disquieted by her appearance. "Maybe we should cancel our session and take you to the ER to get looked at."

Cuddy slowly shook her head. After a moment she murmured, "No. I'm… just reacting to stress. I don't… know how to talk about this. Rescheduling won't make any difference. This would just happen again. If we're going to do this, we need to just do it."

"This is anxiety-induced?" Kate asked in surprise, despite being impressed by Lisa's determination to push through her physical disquiet over opening up further.

Cuddy closed her eyes but nodded almost imperceptibly.

Kate pursed her lips but opened the bathroom door in case Lisa should need it. Instead of returning to her seat, she took the seat beside Cuddy.

"Do you struggle with anxiety a lot?" she inquired finally.

"No," Cuddy mumbled a reply, still trying to concentrate on her breathing. "I had some issues when Lucas left but never to this extent."

"When did this start and what are your symptoms right now?" Kate asked next.

"It started last night with… diarrhea and difficulty falling asleep. Today it's worse and it's branched out into a headache, sweating, and nausea. But I think once I leave, it'll calm down. I… Kate, I don't want to talk about this. I really DON'T want to talk about this. But I… I know I need to. So we'll just see what I can manage," Cuddy murmured, glancing up at her.

Kate nodded, touching her arm reassuringly. "Would you like some tea?" she asked.

Cuddy nodded and Kate prepared her some before returning with the mug and setting it down beside her. "Take your time. We're in no hurry," she informed her softly.

Five minutes passed before Cuddy sighed and then moistened her lips before attempting to just be matter-of-fact about everything, quietly saying, "After our one night together, House and I… we avoided each other at all costs. When I was at PPTH, I steered as clear of him as I could. I was desperately clinging to the idea of getting Lucas back and I… as you know, blamed House for costing me my one chance at happiness. When I found out I was pregnant, I was already a… disaster. I was still obsessively trying to get in contact with Lucas. Hearing that I was pregnant just compounded the severity of my loss."

"Instead of having it being a positive thing, it was a negative one. You became more depressed," Kate clarified, Cuddy nodding.

"How did you realize you were pregnant?" Kate asked after a moment.

Cuddy massaged her temple but replied, "I didn't. Not on my own. House had to tell me. He came into my office at the end of February. I tried to kick him out because of my anger with him over what had happened with Lucas but he insisted that we talk. When I said there was nothing to talk about, he pulled a pregnancy test out of his pocket. I… At first, I didn't understand what he wanted. Then he said I was pregnant. I immediately negated that statement and so he pressed for me to take the test. I was… in denial. I tried to think of how Lucas could have gotten me pregnant when he had said himself that he was sterile. House… was angry. He was right, of course. It was his. But I just couldn't accept that because of the consequences and what that would mean. He threatened to find someone else to convince me to take the test, so I caved. But I didn't want to believe it and do the test. House started listing off all the pregnancy symptoms I was experiencing and when he ended by telling me I hadn't had my last period when I was supposed to, I think that was when I realized he might just be right."

"How did House know your symptoms if you were avoiding each other?" Kate couldn't help asking. "How would he have known you hadn't had your period?"

Cuddy shook her head. "I don't know," she began sarcastically. "I think House monitors my periods unbeknownst to me. He can be a bit obsessive. And House is the most observant person I've ever known. Somehow… he just knew."

"Then you took the pregnancy test and confirmed it?" Kate queried, contemplating what it said about a man if he truly did know someone's menstrual cycle to that degree.

Cuddy nodded, her expression grim. "I gave him the pregnancy test afterward and told him I wasn't pregnant. I told him to leave. But then the color changed to indicate that he was right and I was pregnant."

"But you didn't want to be," Kate stated without emotion.

Cuddy was genuinely confused, not at all in relation to Kate's statement because it was true, but still, somehow confused. She hadn't wanted to be pregnant. She had detested House for impregnating her. And yet she had these blips of memories and emotions scattered here and there throughout everything that had gone wrong, that seemed perfectly right and that made her feel like House hadn't been quite the villain she thought he was, despite how she internally felt compelled to view him as such. She closed her eyes tightly for a long time but tears still found their way out when she murmured one of those blips of haunted memory. "I broke down. And House… he just… pushed aside all that was between us and… held me."

"You were upset. He wanted to comfort you," Kate acknowledged. "He cared for you."

"He should have hated me," Cuddy cried, trying to hold back a sob as she internally warred with herself. What was wrong with her?! He had no reason to hate her. It was his fault she'd become pregnant! And yet, somehow her words felt true. She had treated him badly. She had placed all the blame for getting pregnant on him and accepted none of the responsibility. And then, when he tried to comfort her, she had only continued to push him away. He SHOULD have hated her.

"But he didn't," Kate responded simply.

"I… couldn't handle it. I just started to hit him," Cuddy whispered, mystifying herself by how genuinely she suddenly regretted how she'd reacted to a man who she now knew herself to love.

"What did House do?" Kate gently asked.

"He let me go and then I stopped crying because… because I'd gone through IVF three times in the past and twice it didn't take and the third time I miscarried. So I assumed I would with this pregnancy as well. I decided it would work itself out that way and I wouldn't have to deal with the consequences of our one night together," Cuddy replied brokenly, accepting the tissue Kate extended to her to wipe at her eyes and then blow her nose.

"What did House say?" she inquired, imagining this situation taking place between the two of them as detailed by Cuddy.

Cuddy was surprised that this was all burned into her memory to the extent it was. She'd been blocking it all out for so long and yet it was somehow there, painful and all too vivid. She tried to clear the obstruction from her throat and murmured, "He said he wanted the baby. I… protested. I didn't want him to want it. And he only repeated that he did want it. He said…" Cuddy started crying again but she managed to brokenly say, "He said he wanted me but since I didn't want him, there was nothing he could do about that. The baby on the other hand, House was adamant in telling me he wanted. I tried to convince him I'd miscarry. But he wouldn't accept that. He… wanted me to promise I wouldn't harm the baby."

Kate kept her face blank and asked, "Did you want to end the pregnancy?"

"I… didn't want to be pregnant," she practically pleaded with Kate to understand. "I just… determined that I WOULD miscarry and then it wouldn't be an issue. My whole thought process right then was that I'd never get Lucas back if I went to term and especially, if the baby was House's. I couldn't accept that. I… blamed House for everything. And I just _had_ to miscarry. It was the only viable option I saw. I… told House not to tell anyone and he left shortly thereafter."

"So House wanted the baby but you didn't because of Lucas," Kate paraphrased. "Is that the only reason you didn't want it?"

Cuddy blanched, looking even sicker than she had upon coming in. "I… I don't know."

"But being with Lucas was of vital importance to you back then?" she asked before clarifying where she was coming from by adding, "I mean, you'd tried for a child through IVF so I know you wanted a child of your own. And you've told me about adopting Rachel when you gave up hope of that ever happening. But then you did get pregnant and… it just wasn't what you wanted anymore. Correct?"

"I… I have to go," Cuddy mumbled, getting to her feet. "I'm not feeling up to talking any more today."

"Do you want me to walk with you? Maybe we should get you checked out," Kate responded concernedly, getting to her feet.

"I'll be fine," Cuddy assured her. "I'm heading home for the day anyway."

Kate studied her for a moment but then nodded. "See you next Wednesday?"

Cuddy slowly nodded once in acquiescence before turning and heading for the door.

Once she was gone, Kate returned to her desk, writing down some notes. She couldn't help asking herself if Lisa had been that determined not to carry the baby to term when she obviously had, what had caused her to go through with it? And then she tried to ponder another thought on her mind. Was it possible Lisa had avoided this subject for so long and was now struggling with it to the point of making herself sick, because when the baby had been born stillborn, she'd been overwhelmed by having never wanted it in the first place, to the extent that her guilt or whatever emotions she'd been feeling, caused her to fall into the severe depression she'd ended up in? Kate sighed, rubbing her forehead, deep in thought and more than a little confused regarding Lisa's situation.

* * *

March 4th, 2011

"House, come on! It's only one time! Just agree to come with me! You know Evie will LOVE it!" Cameron pleaded from where she sat in the chair across the desk from him.

"She's a baby! She won't even REMEMBER going to the zoo!" House argued in protest.

"She'll still love it! She's almost six months old now! And besides, I've already talked a friend into loaning me her expensive camera for the day. I'll take lots of pictures and then add them to the scrapbook I've been working on. She'll have them forever. And House," she whined, "Evie's a girl! She'll love that!"

"Cameron, you're insane. You're about the size of a small elephant yourself these days! And you definitely eat as much. Why would you want to go when you know that means we're going to spend hours on our feet? That holds no appeal to me. And I don't have a tumor the size of Texas sticking out of my body," he objected.

"I'm seven months along. What do you expect me to look like? And don't call my baby a tumor," Cameron half-heartedly protested, knowing he just wanted to push her buttons in hopes she'd give in and not ask this of him. "House, I want to go to the zoo! The least you can do for me after all I've done for you is to come with."

"First, I'm not your daddy. I'm not even your sugar daddy. It's not my job to buy you cotton candy and take you to see _lions, tigers, and bears. Oh my!_ I don't have to take you to the zoo. And second, _NICE _touch with the guilt trip. Bring it on," he muttered with an eye roll. "As if guilt works on me."

"You'd go if Erika asked you to," she threw in with a pout.

House couldn't stop his mouth from twitching with the beginnings of a smile. "Jealous?" he asked teasingly.

"It's not like I'm asking you out on a date," Cameron shot back with a glare.

"That's good because with your size, I'm not sure how I'd be able to put out at the end of the night anyway," he quipped provokingly. "Even if this pregnancy hadn't disfigured your looks to the extent it has."

"That's just mean, House," she scolded. "You try being pregnant!"

"Now there's an idea," House replied thoughtfully before asking, "But do I look like Arnold Schwarzenegger to you?" Getting to his feet, in a deep, accented voice he somberly said, "I'll be back," and headed for the door.

Cameron quickly realized that he was succeeding in getting her off topic and got up to follow him into the hallway.

"Think of Evie, House," she wheedled, changing her tactic. Giving him the sweetest look she could muster, eyes wide and hopeful, Cameron said, "Just think of how much she'll enjoy it. We can videotape her. You know the opportunity to hear that giggle of hers is absolutely irresistible and is right now calling to you."

"You act like I'm a fool when it comes to my kid," he complained as he made his way towards the bathroom. "But the truth is I'm the most indifferent parent ever."

"Liar," she bit out, her forehead creased in skepticism. "Come on! I'm not going to give up. I'm going to bug you until you agree. And right here in my hand is the case file to a patient I know you'll be interested in," Cameron added, waving the file in the air but out of his reach. "I'll give it to you when you promise you'll go."

House groaned, rubbing his forehead as he came to a halt outside the bathroom door. "Fine! I'll go! But you're pushing the stroller. And we're skipping the butterfly exhibit. That's just dumb," he griped, entering the bathroom then.

Cameron stood against the wall outside, waiting for him to come back out. The minute he did, she picked the conversation right back up.

"No, we're not!" Cameron replied, her chin raising in the air. "Evie will love the butterflies flying about her head. And now that she's sitting up all on her own, it's going to be great! This is perfect timing for a trip to the zoo!"

House shot a glare at her and held out his hand for the file, demanding she give it to him.

Cameron smiled, knowing she'd won. Passing it to him she began reciting the patient history, pleased when he immediately made a face and looked at her, impressed and decidedly interested in the patient.

* * *

March 9th, 2011

"How are you feeling today?" Kate asked, studying Cuddy who currently sat in the seat across the desk from her.

"I'm okay for the moment, I think," she acknowledged. "It probably helped that we broke the ice so to speak, last week. I… feel anxious right now but so far the nausea is at a minimum. We'll see… how it goes," she tentatively stated.

Kate nodded and then inquired, "Should we pick up right where we left off?"

Cuddy swallowed hard but tipped her head to say yes before picking up the story where she'd stopped the previous session. "House came to me in early March with prenatal vitamins. I… didn't see them as necessary but I had no choice but to take them. He said I'd committed to not harming the baby and that meant I had to take care of myself and also do the things that pregnancy required, such as taking the vitamins and scheduling an appointment with an OB-GYN. I refused to schedule an appointment and he told me I had two weeks to do it or he would. Of course that… made me angry. I didn't appreciate being told what to do. And certainly not by House of all people. I… still hoped to miscarry. But… time passed and it wasn't… happening. My body was changing. I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore. I had to go shopping for something that would tide me over until I did miscarry. And when my two weeks were up to schedule my own appointment, I… went to his apartment and… told him I wanted an abortion."

Silence fell in the room as Cuddy stared down at her lap and Kate watched her, waiting and trying to decide on how to proceed. When time continued to pass and Cuddy didn't go on, Kate prompted, "What did House say when you told him that was what you wanted?"

Cuddy was breathing a little shallower but murmured, "He refused to agree to that."

"And how did you respond to his refusal?" Kate pressed gently.

Cuddy's head came up then and her eyes flashed, obviously still upset. "I became angry. It was my body! I had the right to do what I wanted, whether or not he wanted me to go through with the pregnancy!"

Kate tilted her head to the side, noting the sudden switch from laying out the facts to anger but not commenting on it immediately. "How did he talk you out of it?" she inquired instead.

Cuddy exhaled through her nose and muttered, "He tried to tell me that terminating the pregnancy wouldn't make things better for me but only worsen them. He argued that I'd been wanting a baby for years and asked why I couldn't just 'give it a shot'. But I had Rachel! I didn't NEED another child! And I didn't… want one either."

Cuddy fell silent for a moment but then continued in a hushed tone. "I… I thought he was trying to manipulate me into having the baby so that I'd allow him back in my life. But I stupidly wanted Lucas, not… House. And so I told him that we were done and that… there was no us."

"Like he echoed on the way back from Georgia?" Kate inquired.

Cuddy nodded, looking broken by that admission.

Before Kate could say anything further, she whispered, "I told him if I didn't miscarry in the next couple weeks, I'd terminate. And he… House told me I was not going to have an abortion. He said… he'd sue. And well, that struck me as ridiculous because… my body is my body and what court would force me to take the pregnancy to term against my will?" Cuddy sharply pointed out, her defenses rising to the top and her frustration evident. "But… House had thought it out. And he knew my… hang-ups. He said he'd… make such a big deal out of it that everyone would know and it would affect my life at PPTH – that I'd lose people's respect and then everyone would know about Lucas not being part of the picture anymore. I… had told people that the wedding had been pushed back but I hadn't told anyone that it was off and Lucas had walked out of my life."

"How did that make you feel, to have House place you in the position of choosing to either carry the baby to term or to terminate and risk the ripples the wake of that wave might generate?" Kate asked, internally disturbed and saddened by the situation, thinking a case could be made for either side. Whether wrong or right, men did not have the legal right to determine whether or not a woman would carry a pregnancy to term. That didn't seem fair when the child involved was as much his as hers. And yet how did you force someone to devote nine months of their life to an unwanted pregnancy? House had… gotten resourceful. She wasn't about to be the person to judge him. But she couldn't blame Lisa for being upset, either.

"I was FURIOUS! I still… I think I'm still… ANGRY about it! He forced me to do what he wanted! He took away my choice in the matter! I… I screamed at him! I told him I HATED him!" Cuddy pronounced, breathing harder as she became more worked up by this.

"You had a choice though," Kate gently reminded her, not wanting to allow Lisa to get caught up in the blame game without recognizing that while she might have felt forced, she hadn't been without other options.

Cuddy's mouth dropped open and she stared at Kate, tears streaming down her face. "What kind of choice is that?!"

"A hard one," Kate acknowledged before softly asking, "So I guess what I'm wondering is, do you love him or do you hate him? Because Lisa, I'm not sure both can be true. One has to win out over the other."

Cuddy's mouth opened and closed soundlessly as she searched for an answer, hot tears streaming down her face. She'd spent the past several weeks adamantly claiming to love House but now she was reliving what she hadn't allowed herself to since her pregnancy had come to an end and right now, love was not at all what she was feeling. But she didn't know that it was hate anymore either. "I… I don't know. I'm… so confused right now," she admitted finally.

"Think about the choices House gave you. What emotions do they stir up?" Kate questioned, trying to help her work through it as she passed her the box of Kleenex.

"He… he was being so… selfish! He just wanted what he wanted and it didn't matter that I didn't want the same thing. All that time he… claimed to love me! But then he forced me to do what he wanted! That's not love! He… he betrayed me," Cuddy mumbled, her heart just ripped to shreds in thinking about it.

"Maybe he wasn't being selfish," Kate suggested, causing Cuddy to toss her head about in indignation. "Maybe he wasn't intending to betray you."

Kate held up a hand in hopes that Cuddy would hear her out. "You said yourself that House told you he thought ending the pregnancy would not make things better for you but only worsen them. I don't know Lisa. I realize he wanted this baby but isn't it possible that he really was trying to look out for you too?"

"I…" Cuddy couldn't even formulate a response. Finally she looked down and said, "I don't know."

Kate decided to let it go for now and move forward. "So you continued on with the pregnancy despite wanting to abort, because House put you in a position where you felt you had to have the baby. If the baby hadn't been stillborn, what were the two of you intending to do?"

And there was the question. A question that required her to admit there had been no stillbirth. That there was a very real baby out there that House was raising and she wanted nothing to do with. A baby that was the answer to why she and House could never be together; why it would never work out for the two of them.

Cuddy started to sweat while Kate sat across from her, waiting her out. A second later her stomach turned and she made a dash for Kate's private bathroom, getting the door open just in time to heave her lunch in the toilet.

* * *

March 12th, 2011

Cuddy buckled Rachel into her jogging stroller once she was appropriately dressed for the cool temperatures and then pushed off with her, intending to run her old route around the neighborhood. The snow had all melted over the course of the last few days and she was ready to get back into her old habits of running daily when an option, though she had been back on the treadmill since the beginning of February.

Rachel waved at any neighbors they passed, bringing a smile to Cuddy's lips. She listened to the slap of her feet on the still damp pavement, enjoying the flood of endorphins the exercise evoked. By the time they got back, she was exhausted and sweaty but pleased with her exertion. Opening the garage she pushed the stroller inside before unbuckling Rachel to set her free. They went inside and Cuddy grabbed a bottle of water before bringing Rachel into the bathroom with her, getting her settled on the floor with her baby doll and a couple books before stripping down and entering the shower.

But seeing the doll brought House to mind. Rachel took that doll everywhere. She adored it, played with it, and talked about it all the time. Every once in a while she would also bring "daddy" up. Frankly, it broke Cuddy's heart. Because it was now obvious that she'd been wrong about House in so many ways, not the least of which in thinking that he wouldn't prove a good influence on Rachel. She thought back to Rachel's first birthday party and how he'd not just held her but actually initiated it, reaching to take her from Cuddy.

She had underestimated him. Probably eons beyond what she was even aware of after seeing him with Rachel when they'd arrived back from Georgia. Sighing, she closed her eyes in regret and let her head fall back, exposing her face to the showerhead and trying to wash away the emotion that was even now, exposed and coursing down her cheeks.

* * *

March 16th, 2011

Kate waited for Lisa to show up for her next appointment, not knowing what to expect. The last time they'd met their session had come to an immediate end following Lisa's sudden trip to the bathroom. While her anxiety level in sharing was high, Lisa appeared determined to make it through this and not run from it. Kate wasn't sure why that was. Perhaps it was due to the futility of her previous attempts to avoid opening up. Or maybe it stemmed completely from her desire to move forward. In any case, Kate was glad that Lisa was trying, even though it cost her to do so.

Lisa entered her office right on schedule and unsteadily made her way to take her seat. Kate looked at her in concern, noting the circles under her eyes and the pallor to her skin.

"How are you doing?" Kate couldn't help asking, getting up from her chair to sit in the seat next to Cuddy. "You aren't looking so good. Maybe you should lie down on the couch."

Cuddy shook the question off, her eyes closed. She hadn't slept well the last few nights and not at all the night before, knowing the time was approaching for another session that promised to be emotionally distressing. She had been too nauseous yesterday to eat much at all and today she'd only managed some juice. This had to come to an end. She needed to get it over with. There was no other option. Opening her eyes, she met Kate's.

"The baby wasn't stillborn," she forced herself to murmur.

Kate stared at her, thoroughly bewildered. At first she didn't think she'd heard her right. But how could she have heard her wrong?

"What do you mean?" she asked after a long pause.

Cuddy looked down at the floor and mumbled, "After that night when House told me he wouldn't allow me to abort, I thought maybe there was still a shot I'd miscarry or some way to talk him out of forcing me to go through with the pregnancy. So I made an appointment with an OB-GYN to find out my odds of carrying it to term. But when I went to the doctor, he said he didn't expect I'd miscarry. I was already at thirteen weeks and the baby looked good. I… told House afterwards that I hadn't changed my mind but that there was still time for him to change his. Not long after that, I went to Wilson, House's best friend, hoping that I could get him to talk to House and make him see reason. House then came to my office. He'd been to a lawyer and had already drafted legal paperwork he now wanted me to sign, agreeing not to harm the baby in exchange for his guaranteed silence regarding my pregnancy. I…"

Cuddy broke off, taking a deep breath before tremulously saying, "I thought I had one more way out of this. I… I told him I'd sign it only under the condition that when the baby was born, he take it and walk out of my life. I… told him he would then cease to exist to me… that… he'd be out of my life for good."

"And he agreed," Kate quietly stated, processing all that Lisa had just revealed. The baby was alive then. And House was out there raising it. It was why he wasn't at PPTH. It was probably why Lisa didn't see a future for her and House.

"But that wasn't what you wanted, was it?" Kate recognized and verbalized.

Cuddy looked up at her with wounded eyes. "I thought he'd give in to me then. I… I never would have thought he'd accept my condition. I… didn't think he'd give up his _job_. I… didn't think he'd just _walk away_. He… said he loved me and wanted to be with me and yet he… chose his baby over me. Chose his baby over everything that mattered to him."

"Do you think that was unreasonable?" Kate probed.

"I didn't expect it," Cuddy could only reply, her hands clenching around the wood framing to her chair.

"Are you upset that he wanted the baby enough to make those sacrifices? You had already told him you wanted nothing to do with him," Kate reminded her gently.

"I… I don't know how I feel about it. I try not to think about any of this. I didn't want to be pregnant and now I've finally come around to realizing that I love House and… it's a hopeless situation," Cuddy murmured, tears streaming down her face.

"What was the rest of your pregnancy like?" Kate inquired. "How did you and House handle working together?"

"I was depressed… and extremely angry, Kate," Cuddy choked out through her tears. "Everyone at the hospital assumed the baby was Lucas's. I didn't have any desire to correct that assumption. They expected me to be happy about being pregnant. But I was MISERABLE! I didn't want to be pregnant! I didn't want the baby! House… I took everything out on him. I… I can acknowledge that I treated him terribly but… I can't talk about it today. And… some part of me still wants to believe he deserved it for forcing my hand."

Kate really didn't have any idea how to respond to that. Instead she asked, "And what are your feelings about the baby now?"

"I terminated my rights at birth. I didn't want anything to do with her. I still don't," Cuddy admitted, her tears drying up. "I… can't. I… She's House's daughter. Not mine."

Kate nodded slowly, thinking they'd covered a lot of ground and she had a lot to think about and work through before she could even imagine how to proceed with Lisa. They were also already over by a half hour, due to all the pauses that had taken place during the conversation to make Lisa comfortable enough to open up. "Our time is up for today but I'll plan to see you again next Wednesday?"

Cuddy sighed and looked away but then she blinked and nodded slowly. "Yeah. That's fine," she agreed reluctantly, getting to her feet.

Kate walked her out a moment later, thoroughly thrown by the situation surrounding Lisa Cuddy.

* * *

March 18th, 2011

When House returned with Evie after changing her diaper, Erika was sitting on the couch with Trevor camped out down on the floor before her, his legs stretched out in front of him and his back immediately to the right of Erika's legs. House sat down beside Erika and passed Evie off to her when her arms came out to take the baby.

"Wilson's on his way with pizza," House said as he settled his feet up on the coffee table, stretching out.

Erika smiled and nodded in acknowledgement before asking, "What movie are we watching tonight?"

"I don't care," House replied with a shrug, too tired after a long day at work to argue for any particular flick.

"How about 'Toy Story'," Trevor suggested.

"Works for me," House acknowledged, yawning.

"Why not?" Erika agreed easily, turning Evie around to face her and standing her up in her lap.

House reached out with a hand and smoothed the baby's hair, though it went right back to standing up helter skelter.

"It's getting longer but I also think it's starting to become curly," Erika commented, making faces at the baby to get her to laugh.

"Yeah," House replied, nodding. "You can really tell right after her bath."

Evie looked at her daddy and a happy stream of "da-da, da-da, da-da" came out her lips.

House tickled her belly affectionately.

"Do you think she has the first clue what she's saying?" Erika asked him, smiling at the look on his face as he studied his daughter.

House considered the question and then replied, "She certainly knows she'll receive positive reinforcement."

Erika pursed her lips and settled Evie in her lap before reaching for one of her little hands and separating her pinkie from the rest of her fingers slightly. "See this?" she asked House. "You're wrapped around that."

House chuckled and rolled his eyes. "If you say so," he replied dryly.

* * *

March 19th, 2011

"I can't believe you dragged me all the way into New York for this," House complained to Cameron, causing her to smile as they walked around inside the grounds of the Bronx Zoo.

"House, it doesn't even take two hours to get here," she replied, giving him a disbelieving look from over Evie's head, which had a little white crocheted beret that his mother had sent in the mail the week before haphazardly placed on it.

"You better buy me lunch," he grumbled, pushing Evie's baby stroller in front of him. It was somewhat pointless to have brought it because Cameron was holding Evie, but it made a convenient storage place for all the baby paraphernalia and the snacks he had brought along. And as he had left his cane at home, it might prove useful later on, once he was tired, providing him with something to lean on.

"I _PAID_ for the tickets to get in," she reminded him pointedly, rolling her eyes. "Lunch is on you."

"I'll just drop you off at one of the exhibits when feeding time comes," House snarked. "My wallet can't take the hit you'd cost me in having to tide your appetite over."

"You just like having something to gripe about," she said, rolling her eyes. "AND we both know deep down inside you want to be here. You BELONG in the monkey exhibit. It feels homey to you."

House started screeching and howling like a monkey and Cameron groaned, turning red at the number of people who turned to look at them.

"I'll make you a deal," she offered when he stopped making monkey noises and smirked at her. "I'll buy your lunch if you prove yourself capable of behaving and allow me the opportunity to enjoy myself."

House considered it and then extended his hand to shake hers. He was certain they'd be eating within two hours. He could agree to that.

* * *

Cameron was actually amazed at just how well House did behave himself. Once they reached the animal exhibits she gave Evie to him and took charge of the stroller so that she could take pictures and use the camcorder from time to time. House was a fount of knowledge, spouting random trivia out about each animal they passed, and sometimes about animals that the zoo didn't even offer, surprising her with just how much he knew. Cameron wasn't sure how great her retention would be, but all the same, she was impressed.

"Rhinoceros prefer to live alone," House stated while feeding Evie her bottle. "The longest relationship they'll ever have is with their mother and that's generally not any longer than 4 years."

"Elephants can hold 2 gallons of water in their trunks," he informed her five minutes later, adding, "And a baby elephant will suck its trunk to comfort itself like a kid does his thumb."

"Foxes have 200 million scent receptors in their nose, compared to our 5 million… Indigo Bunting birds migrate at nighttime, using the stars to guide them… Raccoon comes from an Algonquin Indian word meaning 'he scratches with his hands'…" and on and on he went.

"Haven't you ever heard the Haitian proverb," House tut-tutted while near the Reptile exhibit. "'Do not insult the mother alligator until AFTER you have crossed the river.'"

Cameron smiled in amusement at the sheer volume of information he had tucked away somewhere in his brain, thankful that somehow he had opted to interpret behaving as NOT sharing random animal facts about sexual anatomy. She had no doubt he knew that trivia just as well.

* * *

After lunch, Cameron dragged House to the Butterfly Garden, mildly protesting behind her. But she was right about Evie. The minute Evie caught sight of the butterflies fluttering about she was wide-eyed and staring in fascination, her hands waving excitedly. House just watched her, amused with her reactions of astonishment and wonder. At one point a butterfly even landed on her hand and Evie stared at it, her mouth parted in a breathless circle. Cameron was very quick to take pictures of anything and everything. House was more than happy to let her at it.

By 2 p.m. Evie had fallen asleep and Cameron and House headed back to the car with her.

"So, are you going to admit that you had a good time or not?" Cameron asked, smiling brightly as she watched him buckle Evie into the backseat.

"Or not," he sarcastically threw out.

"Too bad I know better than to believe you," she replied easily, opening her car door before lowering herself in for the ride home. "Even after you were fed, you chose to behave."

House took his seat behind the wheel once Evie and all that came with her were inside the car. Cameron turned to him before saying, "I can honestly tell you that I've never gone to the zoo with someone and had a better time than I've had today."

"The Aussie hasn't taken you yet, huh?" he replied, his mouth twitching.

"That's true but beside the point. I had a great time, House. Thanks for coming with," she murmured sleepily now, her exhaustion starting to catch up on her.

House didn't reply, watching Cameron's eyes close as she surrendered to a nap. He didn't allow a smile to show until she drifted off in the seat next to him, one hand resting on her belly, thoroughly worn out from walking around with the extra poundage she was carrying.

* * *

"How was Evie's first visit to the zoo?" Wilson asked as he and House ate Chinese takeout in the living room, watching a game on TV.

House looked down at the baby sleeping on his chest already in her pajamas, one of his hands resting on her back, the other holding his fork. "George did really well," he replied casually. "I didn't even have to threaten to throw her in with the tigers to make her behave herself."

"I thought for sure Cameron would push _you_ into the Tiger Exhibit," Wilson dryly replied.

"Nope. Cameron had the time of her life," House corrected smugly. "I'm just _such_ a pleasure to be around."

"Yeah," Wilson replied doubtfully. "Uh-huh. Sure."

"Get plenty of pictures?" he asked then.

"Cameron did. Which will make my mom happy, as Evie wore the outfit she sent in the mail last week. I would bet Cameron took some great shots of my kid," House acknowledged. "And we used the camcorder."

Wilson nodded, taking a swig of beer, cheering as their team scored, though he kept it down due to Evie, despite the fact that she probably wouldn't have woken up anyway.

House took a bite out of his egg roll before asking, "How was lunch with Erika and Trevor today?"

Wilson smiled. "It was fun. Being with Trevor is like being with you," he quipped, causing House to raise an eyebrow. "We went to the arcade and I filled his pockets with change. Surprisingly though, Erika is quite the sharpshooter. She beat my score by two hundred points."

"Then I guess you better make sure to stay on her good side," House taunted before setting his fork down to go lay Evie in her crib.

Entering Evie's room, he flicked the light on before heading for the changing table, laying her down to change her quick. She slept straight through the diaper change. Lifting her back up, he smiled, thinking of her face in that moment when the butterfly landed on her. Cradling her carefully, he pressed a kiss to her cheek before lying her down in the crib, covering her up with the baby blanket before smoothing back her hair. He stood there, watching her for a minute with his arms crossed over his chest. After checking the locks on the window as had somehow become a habitual practice, House then about-faced, flipped the switch on the baby monitor, and turned on the nightlight before hitting the overhead light off, glancing back at her as he slowly brought the door closed.

-----

"_**You tucked me in, turned out the light  
Kept me safe and sound at night  
Little girls depend on things like that **_

_**Brushed my teeth and combed my hair  
Had to drive me everywhere  
You were always there when I looked back**_

_**You had to do it all alone  
Make a living, make a home  
Must have been as hard as it could be**_

_**And when I couldn't sleep at night  
Scared things wouldn't turn out right  
You would hold my hand and sing to me**_

_**Caterpillar in the tree  
How you wonder who you'll be  
Can't go far but you can always dream**_

_**Wish you may and wish you might  
Don't you worry, hold on tight  
I promise you there will come a day  
Butterfly fly away**_

_**Butterfly fly away, butterfly fly away  
Flap your wings now you can't stay  
Take those dreams and make them all come true**_

_**Butterfly fly away, butterfly fly away  
We've been waiting for this day  
All along and knowing just what to do  
Butterfly, butterfly, butterfly, butterfly fly away**_

_**Butterfly fly away  
Butterfly fly away"**_

* * *

Song: "Butterfly Fly Away" (Miley Cyrus)


	60. Lullaby

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Okay… drum roll please!! Here's ONE of the chapters you've been waiting for with bated breath! :) March, March Pt. 2. I hope it's all you've been hoping for, though of course we have lots more to do and so it CAN'T be EVERYTHING you've been hoping for! Still, review please! PLEASE!)_

* * *

March 23rd, 2011

"Can I ask you something?" Kate asked as she looked across her desk at Lisa, who while still peaky, looked better than she had the last week when she'd admitted the baby she'd given birth to was alive and well despite what the world at large believed.

Cuddy looked uncertainly at her but then nodded.

"The first time you came in to see me, I asked you what had brought you in. You didn't seem to have an answer. Do you think you know now?" Kate inquired, folding her hands on her desk before her.

Cuddy bit her lip while considering the question. Emotionally it was a much easier question than she'd expected, though it still required her to do some thinking. Finally she replied, "After I gave birth and was released from the hospital, I took my maternity leave and remained home alone with Rachel. While before I was angry and irrational, after giving birth I just didn't have it in me anymore. My fight was gone. I was… severely depressed and detached. I… didn't think I'd ever escape it and as time passed, things just became worse and worse. My world was falling down around me. I'd spend almost the whole day in bed because I no longer had the energy or the desire to do anything at all. It became so bad that I… couldn't even take care of Rachel properly. She was reacting to my depression and I was withdrawn and closed off, constantly crying and unable to sleep. I'd given her nanny vacation time and I didn't want anyone in my family to know I'd even had a baby, so there was no one to help me. House… he'd walked away like I'd asked him to. And I… I wanted him to come rescue me. But… I couldn't call him because he had his baby now and I knew he wouldn't be able to be there for me, just because I wanted him to be. I knew he couldn't just abandon everything else. And then Rachel got sick with rotavirus and… it was all MY fault. The house was a disaster. I _hadn't_ been cleaning. I _hadn't_ even been watching her properly. I thought she had the flu but her symptoms just worsened and as much as I didn't want to leave the house, too afraid I'd run into someone with a… baby, _now_ I had no choice. She had to go to the hospital. So I brought her to the ER and she received the meds necessary to stop her ailments, along with fluids for her dehydration. But I didn't want to stay in the hospital. I just couldn't. It was too much for me. So when they had her stabilized, I brought her home.

"Rachel fell asleep when we got there but I couldn't, even though I was exhausted. I hadn't slept since she first became sick but it made no difference. I just collapsed on my bed and lay there, staring off into space. And then… House came. Just like I hoped he would but never genuinely expected. I imagine he got a call from Cameron, who was running the ER that night. He came to the house and… cleaned, hiring someone to finish whatever he'd started the next day. And he took care of Rachel. I lay in bed and I could hear him talking with her and playing with her. He also… took care of me." Cuddy couldn't help but think of how very much he actually had taken care of her, right down to doing things for her that she was too embarrassed to admit to Kate.

Picking back up where she left off, she murmured, "House gave me something to help me sleep and then I asked him to stay with me and… he did. At some point in the night, he must have called my mother. I… had asked him to take Rachel home with him and just leave me. And so he called her and sent for her, not willing to let me… give up, I guess. He also must have called my doctor because when she showed up, she had prescription medicine with her to help me sleep and to help with the depression. I was so _ANGRY_ with him for calling my mother and bringing her into the situation. But… now… well, what else could he do?!

"I threw something at him. I don't even remember what it was. And then suddenly I was crying and he was holding me and… I couldn't let go of him! Kate, I just wanted him to stay," she murmured, glancing down at the carpet before continuing. "House mentioned the… baby then – that he had to go because of her and that was why he'd called my mom. At that point I… kicked him out of the house. I _COULDN'T_ handle him mentioning the baby. But even though I told him to leave, really… all I wanted was for him to stay with me.

"So then my mom came and she took care of Rachel and I. The meds were helping but I still had so very far to go. She told me that the time would come when I'd want my life back and… she was right. So I called you to set up an appointment because I wanted my life to return to normal. I wanted to find my way back to who I was before everything happened. And I… knew I had a lot to work through that I'd never be able to do on my own," Cuddy admitted, finally meeting Kate's eyes. "I wouldn't have ever pushed myself to work through everything."

"Long answer, huh?" she concluded with a small smile.

Kate returned the smile but said, "You've come a long ways. I don't think you'll ever be exactly the same as you were before everything happened, but you've been through a lot. Who would be the same?"

Cuddy glanced down and nodded slowly, accepting that she probably wouldn't.

"What are you still hoping to accomplish?" Kate asked then.

She looked back up to meet her eyes and admitted, "I don't know. To… get over House. To move on. The same things I've been saying for some time now and… failing to actually achieve," she finished sarcastically.

Kate leaned back in her chair and her eyes narrowed as she stared off into space, contemplating the situation. After a moment she returned her attention to Cuddy and asked, "Has House ever not been there for you whenever you've really needed him?"

Cuddy stared at her blankly and Kate clarified, "I suppose that might not make much sense, as it would appear he usually shows up when you need him but without you having to ask for him. But I'm curious if you've ever asked for him and not had him come."

"I… I don't know. I'm not one to… ask for help," Cuddy acknowledged.

Kate smiled and nodded, recognizing that it was indeed difficult for Lisa to do that.

"I usually had to drag him to complete his clinic hours, though," Cuddy quipped, trying to lighten the subject.

Kate laughed but then grew serious once more. "Lisa," she began. "You wanted a baby, didn't you? I mean, before Rachel?"

Cuddy nodded reluctantly, knowing where this was going.

"And after Rachel, if the baby had been Lucas's, you would have wanted her, right?" Kate continued.

Cuddy's eyes filled with tears but she nodded almost imperceptibly.

"But because she wasn't… because she meant that you couldn't have the happily-ever-after you were looking for… you didn't want her," Kate probed before pausing.

Cuddy's hand came up to wipe away the tears slipping down her cheeks but she knew that was true. She'd been so devastated in losing Lucas and clinging so strongly to the happy ending she'd planned for – her happy family to be with Lucas that she… had immediately closed herself off to the chance of having it any other way… to opening her heart to _either_ House _or_ the baby she found herself carrying. "I… I was just so desperate to have Lucas and all I'd envisioned in our future that… there was no room left for me to… even consider embracing my pregnancy. It was just another… obstacle. One I blamed House for placing in the way of what I wanted," she mumbled, her finger catching another tear.

"What you wanted being Lucas, a man you've now run into twice and no longer feel a single thing for," Kate pointed out kindly.

Cuddy started to cry harder, unable to stop herself, unable to even force herself out of her chair and leave before Kate asked any more questions.

Kate got up from her seat and came around the desk, clearing a spot on the edge for her to sit on while extending the box of Kleenex to Cuddy. "If you love House and know you love him, why can't you love the child that you made with him?" she inquired softly.

Cuddy sobbed then, shaking her head, her eyes piercing with the agony they revealed. "It's too late, Kate. It's just too late," she finally managed to whisper.

"Why is that?" Kate asked gently. "Because you don't think House will allow you into her life? Because you've already terminated all rights you had to being there in the first place? Or because House chose the baby over you and you can't allow yourself to love her because you feel she's cost you the one man you do now want?"

Cuddy wilted completely, her head falling down into her hands and Kate pushed off the desk to move the chair beside her closer, sitting in it and resting one hand on her arm, waiting her out.

After several minutes, Cuddy drew a ragged breath and rasped, "I can't allow myself to want her, Kate. I can't… When I… I didn't want her! I fought to end her life! I… hated the very idea of her for costing me Lucas and… How could I change my mind after all this time?"

"Lisa, you were severely depressed when your relationship with Lucas fell apart," Kate reminded her. "You were irrational and you made decisions that… from what I've learned about you over the past few months, do not in any way parallel your thoughts, feelings, or actions from before your relationship with Lucas crumbled. But you've come a long ways. And I don't want you to lose sight of that. If you want her…"

Cuddy interrupted before she could continue. "I CAN'T want her, Kate!" she forcefully announced, getting to her feet. "I made my decision a long time ago and I have to stick with it! If I was to… I'd have to admit to myself… and I…"

Cuddy turned and was out of the room before Kate could even process what she was saying alongside what she was doing in escaping once again. Kate watched her go, trying to puzzle through what she'd been attempting to say. _If I was to_… what? Want her? _I'd have to admit to myself_…? What? That she'd made a mistake? That she'd wasted time she could have had with the baby? That now that she wanted the baby, House might not allow her to be involved? All were true but were they what Lisa had been thinking? Going on, Kate thought about her final two words. _And I_… just can't do it, Kate concluded for the now-absent Cuddy.

Rubbing her face wearily, Kate picked up the few tissues that had fallen from Lisa's lap when she'd gotten up to run again. Throwing them in the trash, she used some hand sanitizer from off her desk to clean her hands before once more reaching for her notebook to jot down her latest findings and thoughts regarding one Lisa Cuddy, Chief Administrator, Dean of Medicine, and her latest achieved title, Presiding Queen of Running Away.

* * *

Cuddy entered her office and went straight into her private bathroom, locking the door behind her. She sank down to the floor and sat with her back against the door, having already managed to pull herself physically together before coming back here and now focusing on the effort it would take to mentally collect herself so that she could finish any last minute tasks for the day before going home.

Why couldn't she make Kate understand that wanting the baby wasn't even an option open to her?! It was the one thing she _couldn't_ do!

Maybe it was just time to acknowledge that she'd made as much progress as she could hope to make and quit going to see Kate completely. She wasn't over House. She didn't know how to move forward. But maybe those were just two things she'd never check off her list. Maybe she was just doomed to stay frozen where she was, in love with someone who was not free to or who just could not love her back.

But even if House had only come down to Georgia as a favor to her mother, why _had_ he come to help her when Rachel was sick and Cuddy herself had most needed him? For the first time she closed her eyes and allowed herself to go back to that night, remembering him – remembering how he'd reached out, his palm to her jaw with his thumb gently stroking her cheek, and said, "_I don't hate you, Cuddy. I don't always like the things you do or the decisions you make, but I've never come close to genuinely hating you."_

If he didn't hate her, how _did_ House feel about her? And why did knowing she might never have an answer to that plague her so?

* * *

March 25th, 2011

"Hey House! Wait up!" Cameron called from down the hallway, trying to pull her jacket on as she made her way towards him. "I just got the results back from the lab and you were right. It all boiled down to sickle cell anemia. The nurses will take over from here."

"I'm always right," House replied, brushing it off as he stopped to wait for her to make her way to him.

"You waddle like a duck these days," he threw out as she came to a halt beside him.

Cameron gave up on her jacket and sighed dramatically before handing it to him.

"Help me with this?" she asked pleadingly.

House rolled his eyes as if in annoyance but held it up, waiting for her to place one arm in before she turned to put the other in as well.

"Thanks," she replied sweetly, giving him a smile. "Can I come down and get Evie with you?"

"Cameron, you walk out with me two or three times a week, always asking the same question," House pointed out. "You can stop asking already. If I haven't said no yet, I'm not likely to."

Cameron laughed but nodded in acknowledgement of this fact.

"How are you feeling?" he found himself asking when they got on the elevator together.

"You do realize it's strange to have you asking me that and not the other way around, right?" she teased.

House shot her a look of annoyance but shrugged. "You work for me. I have an obligation to make sure my team is capable of doing their job."

"Your _team_?" Cameron skeptically replied. "Your team consisting of… _one _person?"

"Well, you're the size of an orca whale now," House quipped. "I figure that makes you the equivalent of at least _ten_ people."

Cameron shook her head in disbelief but then replied to his question. "I'm doing fine. My back hurts pretty regularly now and it's hard to find a comfortable position to sleep in at night. But other than that, it's been a pretty easy pregnancy. No morning sickness, no spotting, not even a single headache."

"The headache is inside you. It just takes nine months to reach its full pain potential," House dryly joked.

Cameron smiled and then placed a hand on her belly. "He's behaved too perfectly to be a headache," she negated, rubbing circles over her very swollen baby bump.

"It's the 'perfect' ones you have to watch out for," House argued as they entered the corridor leading to the daycare.

"Evie's pretty perfect," Cameron commented.

"Yep," House stoically pronounced. "But she's not fooling me for a minute. I watch her when she doesn't know I'm doing it and I can tell you right now, that kid is already planning how to be a hell-raiser by the time she hits six."

Cameron laughed, shaking her head at him. "She wouldn't be yours if she wasn't a hell-raiser someday," she quipped. "But speaking of Evie," she began, changing the subject. "I have something for you out in my car."

House studied her, decidedly interested. "What is it?"

"You'll have to wait and see," she replied almost teasingly.

House entered the code as they reached the entrance to the daycare and then opened the door for her, waiting until she'd walked through to follow her.

Michelle glanced up as they entered the baby room. "Hey Dr. House. Hey Dr. Cameron," she greeted them both before picking a squealing Evie up from where she sat on the floor, her eyes having already spotted her ride home and happily waving her arms at him. Cameron reached for the baby and Michelle passed her off before turning to enter the crib room and retrieve her car seat.

"Where's trouble?" House inquired of Michelle as he rubbed a finger over Evie's cheek, rolling his eyes at how Cameron was talking excitedly to his daughter, tickling her neck and armpits.

"Sandy's in with the toddlers right now," she answered, smiling before she teased, "But feel free to go in there and say hi."

House scoffed. "Are you kidding?! I'm enjoying my one moment of peace and quiet too much."

Cameron shot him a smile before shaking her head. She knew Sandy alternated between flirting with him and picking on him, but she also knew House enjoyed having a sparring partner on occasion and while she tried, she wasn't any match for him, not that Sandy was but between all of them, maybe House met quota.

"Diaper bag?" House prompted Michelle.

"Oh, yeah," she replied, nodding before going to grab it from the hook. Eyeing him, she inquired, "You still planning on trying her out on baby food this weekend?"

House rolled his eyes but nodded. "She's officially six months. Alas, the time is now."

Cameron turned to him and incredulously asked, "You plan to give Evie baby food tomorrow and you didn't even bother to tell me?!"

House lifted an eyebrow at her reaction. "What? You want me to call and tell you the color of her poop afterwards too?" he inquired sardonically.

Cameron rolled her eyes. "No, I just want to be there for it."

"For the diaper change? Have at it. It's all yours," he replied with a careless shrug.

"I'm coming over," she informed him before suspiciously asking, "Did you tell Wilson?"

"What is this?!" he asked disbelievingly, reaching for Evie and lifting her up in the air to blow raspberries on her belly and make her giggle. "You make it sound like she's graduating from med school."

"Dr. House," Michelle interjected. "You've been pushing it off since her first tooth came in. I think you've made it into an even bigger deal every day you've pushed it back."

"Hey, who asked you?" he sarcastically responded, giving her a dark look.

She laughed and shook her head at him in amusement.

House turned back to Cameron to find her with her phone out. He rolled his eyes, knowing she'd have Chatty Cathy on the phone in thirty seconds, both of them going back and forth like junior high girls.

Turning back to Michelle, he asked, "How was she today?"

"Good," she replied. "She cried for a few minutes when you left after lunch but I really think it's just some moderate separation anxiety."

House nodded. The past couple days Evie was perfectly happy as long as he was in sight but the minute he left her range of vision, she'd start crying. It helped that she was familiar with everyone who spent any time around her but he'd noticed at the grocery store this week she'd burrowed her face into his shoulder when an unknown older woman approached to coo at her. That was not a typical Evie response, who generally soaked up like a sponge, any attention offered her.

House rubbed his scruff against Evie's cheek, receiving an open-mouthed kiss when she turned her head, her eyes blinking rapidly in protest of what he was doing. Chuckling, he placed her in her car seat and then wiped her slobber from the corner of his mouth before buckling her in and slinging her diaper bag over his arm.

He rolled his eyes as he listened to Cameron's conversation with Wilson and then motioned for her to exit the door ahead of him.

"Bye Michelle," he called back over his shoulder.

"See you Dr. House," she replied before turning back to pick up another baby who was standing on wobbling legs, clinging to her calf.

"Wilson wants to come too," Cameron informed him as they headed out the door.

"Fine," House huffed in mock-annoyance. "Tell him to come over at 11. But you guys have to bring lunch and drinks for this little baby feeding party I'm suddenly throwing."

"Works for me," Cameron agreed, focusing back on Wilson then before hanging up a minute later.

"What's in your car?" House finally prompted, his interest returning to the teaser she'd hung out there almost twenty minutes ago now.

"I almost forgot," Cameron exclaimed. Dismissively, she said, "Well, I can just bring it over tomorrow."

"Uh-uh," he negated. "You can't leave me hanging like that."

"You're really _that_ interested?" she asked, somehow extremely pleased by that information.

House looked drolly at her and she smiled, taking the diaper bag from him to help him out with all he was carrying. "Okay. Let's go to your car and you can drive me over to mine," she offered happily.

Five minutes later he was pulling up behind her car. House put the car in park and Cameron carefully climbed out, unlocking her car doors before popping the trunk to remove a large rectangular shape. Carrying it awkwardly around to House's door, she gestured for him to get out and he did, taking the wrapped gift from her, already guessing what it was from the weight and barely containing the pleased smirk that was threatening to explode upon his face. Unwrapping it carefully, he met Cameron's beaming face, his mouth quirking in response. Peeling the paper away, he unveiled a huge framed picture of Evie in her white beret at the zoo with the butterfly perched on her hand, wings open to reveal its cerulean blue pattern that somehow added immensity to Evie's own eyes, which drew the onlooker in immediately.

"I've ordered prints for all the pictures I took at the zoo as well but I had my friend rush this one for me," Cameron added, watching him intently.

House looked up at her but he couldn't even formulate an appropriate response. Cameron noticed.

"Scoring big points with the boss, aren't I?" she teased.

Swallowing hard, he finally managed to reply, "I can't disagree with you there."

"You can nominate me for an Aunt of the Year Award," Cameron said with a shrug, squeezing his shoulder before heading for her car.

"Thanks, Cameron," he replied quietly.

She heard him anyway.

"You're welcome, House," she responded, glancing back at him before opening her car door to climb in.

Climbing into his own car, he set the picture on the seat next to him, glancing back at Evie through the rearview mirror before putting the car in drive and heading for home, trying to think of just where he'd hang it.

* * *

March 26th, 2011

House heard his front door open at 10:30 the next morning and wasn't surprised to find Wilson had arrived early. He looked up from changing Evie's diaper, throwing her dirty clothes in the laundry hamper before calling out to let Wilson know where they were.

Wilson entered a moment later and House glanced his direction before asking, "You bring lunch?"

"It's on the dining room table," he replied. "Cameron's got the drinks covered."

House nodded and then passed a diaper-clad Evie to him before turning to go through her drawers and find her something to wear.

"No way," Wilson negated. "I'll find her something."

House shot him an annoyed look and said, "Even with a bib, she's probably just going to get baby cereal all over it."

Wilson's pupils moved up towards his eyelids as he considered this, pursing his lips before acknowledging House had a point. "Fine," he replied. "But at least pick something I can videotape her in."

House rolled his eyes and grabbed a t-shirt.

"No. No way," Wilson replied after reading it. "She is not wearing a t-shirt that says, 'Poop Is My Business And Business Is Good.' Not today. Pick again."

"Fine," House grunted before grabbing another. "'Badass Baby'?" he suggested.

"No," Wilson dryly responded.

"Hmm," House drew out, his mouth twitching from side to side. "'Pee All You Can Pee'?"

"House," Wilson groaned. "This is not baby boot camp."

"Aw Wilson, you're such a buzz kill." Digging through the pile, he finally grabbed a plain pink one and passed it to Wilson.

"Really?" he said in surprise.

"Don't care if it gets ruined," House grunted before shutting that drawer and pulling open another. Throwing Wilson a pair of baby jeans, he then dug out some socks for her before turning around.

"She looks good in pink," Wilson remarked.

House studied the baby. She did. Just like her mother. Soft and feminine. As much as he appreciated her work attire, he'd always secretly enjoyed seeing the other side of Cuddy too.

Oh brother! What was he thinking?!

Shaking his head, he reached for Evie's feet and rubbed the bottoms of them on his face to make her squeal before slipping her socks over them. Then Wilson lifted her up and followed him out of the room.

"Got any coffee?" he asked hopefully before placing Evie in the high chair House had finally been motivated to remove from its box and put together, buckling her in.

"Just made a pot," House acknowledged, retrieving two mugs a second later and filling them with one of the few "drugs" he could still have before moving one down the countertop towards Wilson.

Wilson took his and then headed into the dining room to pull lunch out from the bags. The doorbell rang and House went to answer it, somewhat surprised to find Chase had accompanied Cameron.

"You're kidding me, right? You actually came to watch Evie try baby food for the first time?!" House asked skeptically.

"I was promised free food," Chase quipped, placing the drinks on the floor in the foyer to help Cameron with her light jacket.

"Wilson's in the dining room setting up," House responded, reaching to pick up the drinks that Chase had set down.

Within a few minutes the food and drinks were spread out on the table for everyone's benefit, Wilson had the camcorder in hand, Cameron the camera, and House had Evie's highchair parked in the middle of the kitchen, a spoon of baby cereal poised at her lips as she crossed her eyes, staring at it warily. Noting the silence in the room, House rolled his eyes, realizing how ridiculous it was that everyone present was waiting, watching Evie intently, practically holding their breaths in anticipation of whatever reaction she was about to have.

"You do realize how pathetic we are?" he pointed out to the group at large.

"Be quiet, House. I'm videotaping," Wilson reprimanded.

House shot him a look but then Cameron audibly gasped and he redirected his attention to Evie once more as her head moved forward and her closed lips met the spoon, opening slowly to taste it, her face screwing up contemplatively before she pushed the food back out with her tongue.

"Come on, kid," House cajoled, catching it with the spoon and coaxing her to try it again.

Evie wasn't interested.

Exhaling heavily, House rolled his eyes but caved, making an airplane noise with his mouth and flying the spoon through the air towards her mouth.

Evie giggled and House didn't waste the opportunity, slipping the spoon into her open mouth, hoping she'd swallow.

Evie did, sucking on her cereal-covered lip after she'd managed what was in her mouth, and everyone applauded, save House, who wasn't going to make a complete fool of himself on camera.

Evie looked around as if surprised to see them all there and then broke into a wide grin before batting her arms around and catching House off-guard, hitting the bowl of cereal and sending it flying into the air, the bowl clattering across the kitchen floor but not until after half of its contents landed in House's hair, dripping down his nose, causing everyone but House to break out into laughter.

* * *

Cuddy opened the door for her mom to enter the house, laughing when Rachel began jumping about gleefully at the sight of her.

"Hi mom, how was the drive?" she asked, taking Evelyn's small suitcase from her.

"Good, dear," Evelyn replied, leaning in to press a kiss to her daughter's cheek before reaching for her granddaughter and pulling her into her arms for a hug and a kiss.

"How's dad?" Cuddy asked next, bringing the suitcase to the bottom of the stairs and setting it there to carry up in a few minutes.

Evelyn exhaled her breath in exasperation and muttered, "Oh, that man! He's just like you with his workaholic tendencies, telling me he'd retire at the beginning of March and here it is the last week of the month and he STILL goes in every day! I told him he better get it out of his system this week because if I come back home and he's not officially done I'm going to leave him."

Cuddy laughed at her mother's frustration. But she was correct. Cuddy _definitely_ got her workaholic tendencies from her father.

"You took this next week off, didn't you?" Evelyn inquired pointedly then, giving her the Cuddy women evil eye.

She bit her lip and looked contritely at her mother. "I… I'm only going to go in, in the mornings," Cuddy confessed guiltily.

Evelyn sighed and harrumphed but made no further comment, knowing that was probably the best she could have hoped for.

Taking off her coat, she gave it to Cuddy whose hand was extended to accept it before lifting Rachel up into her arms and carrying her into the living room to sit down.

"It's nice to have you around so regularly," Cuddy said with a smile as she sank down onto the living room couch next to them.

Evelyn smiled, pleased. She hoped her daughter meant that because she was hoping it might become even more regular than Lisa was currently speaking about.

* * *

March 27th, 2011

House was just leaving Wilson's apartment with Evie after the game on TV ended when he rang Evelyn on the line, knowing she'd come into town the day before.

"Wanna meet me at the park a few blocks from Cuddy's place? Maybe you can bring Rachel with?" he suggested, attempting to be subtle even if he knew she'd see right through him.

"Sure, that sounds great," she replied, smiling into the phone. She had called several days ago to remind House she was coming into town to spend a week with her daughter and hoped to get some time in with Evie on the sly. She had arrived yesterday but hadn't been by yet. It was thoughtful of him to offer to meet her. Secretly she bet he had been anxiously awaiting her arrival, hoping she'd overlook what Lisa had instructed her regarding Rachel and allow him an opportunity to see her anyway. Whenever she called, he always asked about her. He never asked about Lisa anymore, not since… back in November, with the exception of Lisa's "expedition" to Georgia, and Evelyn wasn't sure why that was but she always went ahead and told him what she knew, as much as he'd let her anyway until he changed the subject.

She switched to whispering then. "I don't think that will be a problem. Just tell me where and I will make an excuse to slip out for a while. Lisa won't mind. She's currently occupied with a stack of paperwork."

House gave her directions and then stopped briefly at a gas station to fill up his tank before heading the short distance from Wilson's to the park.

Evelyn wasn't there when he arrived but he wasn't surprised as he hadn't had far to go. House removed Evie from her car seat, not bothering with her stroller. He knew once her grandma arrived, she wouldn't put the baby down. He smiled, inwardly thankful that Evie had two grandmas that adored her. He pretended to toss Evie in the air, carefully extending her over his head and making her laugh before setting her against his shoulder, heading for the park benches closest to the playground. If Rachel was to come along, he imagined he'd be kept busy chasing her about while Evelyn took advantage of some time with Evie. He sighed, thinking it had been forever since he'd last seen Rachel, though he supposed seven weeks wasn't really all that long in the scheme of things. He shook his head, brushing away the thought. There wasn't much he could do to change that, he told himself. It would be a miracle if Evelyn _did_ show up with Rachel in tow.

House glanced around the park a couple minutes later, spotting Evelyn making her way towards him with Rachel in a stroller. He smiled, his eyes falling to Rachel. He knew it was ridiculous to think this but it truly seemed like she had grown since he'd last seen her. She definitely wasn't a baby anymore. He got to his feet to wait for them with Evie in his arms, allowing Evelyn to embrace him heartedly when they came to his side.

He ruffled Rachel's hair then. "Hey kid!"

She smiled up at him and said, "Hi daddy!"

House passed Evie into Evelyn's waiting arms, knowing that Grandma Cuddles was a bit anxious to see her. Unbuckling Rachel from the stroller, he lifted her out slowly. "Kid, you weigh more than a load of bricks!"

Evelyn swatted his arm. "She does not! She's just growing!"

He chuckled and sat back down on the bench with Rachel in his lap. "So how's my big girl?" he asked her.

"Want to play," she told him, her cherubic face completely serious.

He nodded, reluctantly setting her down on the cement walkway, and then watching her as she ran off to climb the slide. "She's not supposed to grow up so quickly," he said, turning to Evelyn.

"Don't you sound like a daddy?" she teased as she reached a hand out, patting his cheek before returning her attention to the six month old in her arms. "And you, Georgia! Look at you!" She lifted the baby up in front of her so their faces were close, Evie looking at her contentedly and waving her hands about, trying to grab her grandma's hair and give it a tug.

"No pulling hair," House told her then, shaking a finger. She looked at him, screwing up her face as if to cry. Evelyn bounced her, making soothing sounds at the baby.

"Such a mean daddy, you have, Georgia," Evelyn cooed sympathetically.

"Don't you start, Grandma Cuddles," he scolded. "She already works the system and I only have so much hair. She's becoming a little stinker. Yesterday she had cereal for the first time and I ended up wearing more of it than she did."

As if to prove her daddy's point about her skill of working the system, Evie opened up one eye to peek at him and then closed it again, pouting prettily.

Evelyn laughed and House shook his head, amused, before getting to his feet to walk around the playground and track Rachel down, who was camping out in one of the tunnels. He walked up to it, popping his head up to look through one of the hole-like windows, causing her to shriek in laughter.

"Hi daddy!" she declared happily.

"And what are you up to, Rachel?" he asked her, giving her a look brimming with suspicion. She smiled and reached out the hole, patting his scruff with her hand.

"Hmm," he muttered then, "trying to pull one over on me, aren't you? Putting on the cute, innocent face as if that works with everyone. But I got your number Rachel. I'm onto you and your tricky Cuddy ways."

"Go down the slide? You catch me?" she asked hopefully, pointing down the tunnel and towards the blue slide there.

"Okay," he agreed, following alongside the tunnel in the direction of the slide and then ducking under it. He went to the bottom but when she didn't come down the twisty slide, he walked around it until he found her patiently sitting at the top. She held her hand out to him and he had to stretch a bit to reach hers, limping alongside the slide in a circle as it twisted and turned, Rachel slowly sliding down. When she reached the bottom, he picked her up and threw her into the air, just enough to make her feel like she was flying but not enough to lose his balance on the sand underfoot. She giggled and he couldn't help but chuckle. "Wanna go again?" he asked.

Rachel nodded, her little brunette ponytail bobbing enthusiastically. House set her down and she ran off to the steps, squirming her way back through the tunnel and to the top of the slide. This time she came down on her own and he made a big deal out of catching her. But rather than going again, she pointed at the swings. "You push me on the swings?"

House heaved her up and then wrapped an arm under her, slowly making his way towards the swings. He set her in one of the baby swings and started to push her, letting her little legs connect with his stomach and grimacing as if she was hurting him, eliciting more giggles from her. When she'd finally had enough, he set her down and she ran off to play with some of the other kids, digging holes in the sand. House made his way back to Evelyn and the baby, sinking down onto the bench beside her.

"You seem to manage pretty well without the cane," she said, having watched him return to her without it.

"Well, it isn't much use to me on a playground. It just sinks into the sand. And when I'm at home, I really don't use it much. I try and only use it when I'm going to be on my feet a lot. It helps that the kid and I go to the gym every weekday morning," he admitted.

Evelyn nodded. "Richard and I have been thinking about moving closer," she told him confidentially, bouncing Evie on one knee.

He nodded, the corners of his mouth raised and hinting at a smile. House wrapped an arm around the back of the bench, resting it against her shoulders. "Evie and I would love that," he replied, genuinely meaning it.

She looked up at him, gauging his expression just to be sure. "What do you think Lisa will say?" she asked concernedly.

He thought about it a moment but then shrugged the shoulder not around her. "I don't know. I don't really know anything about what Cuddy thinks or feels these days. I would imagine she'd be glad for Rachel's sake, if not her own. Richard's only just retiring. It makes sense that you both might move to be nearer to one of your kids. Why not Cuddy?"

Evelyn looked across the playground, her gaze focusing on Rachel. "Maybe she will see it as interfering in her life."

"Has she ever said anything to indicate she doesn't want you closer?" he asked, an eyebrow raised.

"No," she said then, shaking her head. "But she has never asked us to move closer either."

"Why would she? Richard had his job there. And I don't doubt you have your own circle of friends you're reluctant to leave. Besides, Cuddy's always been independent. Even back in med school she stood on her own two feet," he declared, trying to reassure her. "But that doesn't mean she will try and talk you out of it. I don't know. Maybe you should look for a house that isn't too close to hers, so that it's less of an issue. You can always move close to me," he suggested with a smile, his mind already scheming how he could work out seeing Rachel more often.

"Do you love her still?" Evelyn asked out of the blue.

House glanced at her, surprised at the question. He then looked away, his eyes centered on Rachel and the sand she was dumping in her own hair. "That's not going to be fun to get out," he mused.

Evelyn stayed quiet, waiting, and finally House answered her. "Yes. I don't think that's something that will stop. Say it's choice, say it's fate, say it's just the way it is. I think I will always love Cuddy. Maybe in time it will fade. I don't know. But she's Evie's mother and no matter what, I'll always have feelings for her. She's… played a significant role in my life. Maybe she's not in it now and never will be, but that doesn't eradicate our past."

"You never talk about what happened between you," Evelyn murmured softly, her eyes focusing on Evie.

House pursed his lips. "Cuddy hasn't said anything?"

She shook her head in reply. "I don't think she's healed enough to get to that point. At least not with me. She's still seeing a psychiatrist from the hospital on a weekly basis though."

House stared off into the distance without seeing, processing that.

"I'm sorry, Evelyn," he muttered uncomfortably after a moment. "I'm sorry that… well, I'm sorry for whatever part I played in everything to bring her to the point of having a breakdown like she did."

"There's nothing for you to apologize to me for," she reassured him, tucking the baby up on her shoulder to reach out and pat his knee. "I don't really understand what brought this on. I'm just glad that it seems to be over now."

He exhaled, trying to keep his emotions in check before nodding.

"If you could go back and change history, would you do it?" she asked him, curious to hear what he'd say.

"There's no point in even thinking like that," he immediately stated. "You can't change the past."

"But if you could?" Evelyn pressed.

He vehemently shook his head. "No. I couldn't even imagine my life without Evie now. She's… the best part of me."

"You are a good father, Greg," she said softly then. "I only wish Rachel had you as much as Georgia does."

He sighed, closing his eyes momentarily before removing his arm from the back of the bench to hunch forward, leaning with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. "Yeah, well that goes both ways. I sometimes worry I'm going to totally blow it with Evie. How am I ever going to make up for her mother's absence in her life?"

Evelyn couldn't help the tears that came to her eyes. She continued bouncing the babbling baby on her shoulder but reached out with her free hand to stroke House's back. "One thing I've learned, Greg, is that you can't protect your children from every hardship of life. You can only do your best to be there for them when they need you. The rest, it just isn't in your hands."

Neither one of them said anything for a minute. Finally Evelyn murmured softly, "Maybe Lisa will come around."

House didn't look at her. After a long moment he quietly admitted, "I don't want Evie to grow up without a mother. But I'm not sure I would want Cuddy back in the picture either. I don't trust her anymore. And I… I don't know that I can be that forgiving."

Evelyn wiped away the tears that immediately spilled out onto her cheeks and gently asked, "You can't forgive her for how she's hurt you or for walking away from Georgia?"

"Maybe neither," he replied quietly. "Did Cuddy tell you that she told everyone at PPTH the baby was stillborn when she went back to work?"

Evelyn exhaled sharply, her eyes pressing closed. "No. Honestly, it never even occurred to me to wonder what she was telling people at work. I was too focused on helping her get better when I stayed before, along with trying to get in as much time as I could with both of my granddaughters."

House just nodded slightly, remaining in the position he was in.

"I… I'm sorry Greg. I… can't imagine how that must have hurt you," she said tenderly, restoring her hand to his back and making small circles there like House did with Evie.

"Yeah, well… she wanted a baby with Lucas. Not with me," House mumbled.

"Oh Greg…" Evelyn began, her head inclined towards him.

But House interrupted, not intending to get caught up with her in a pity party. "I… came over that night; the night when I heard what she'd told everyone. I saw her come home and I was…" House huffed out a breath before shaking his head and continuing. "I was furious. Then you came to the door with Rachel to meet her and she kissed Rachel's cheek. I couldn't help but… wish that Evie had that too. She… deserves it. She's getting the shaft and… what can I do about it?! But at the same time, I don't think it's my job to do _anything_ about it. It's not anyone's job. Cuddy's made her own decisions and I'm respecting them. I don't want her in Evie's life because she's been coerced into it. And… even if she was to come around, I'm not sure I have it in me anymore to forgive her and welcome her back," he finished quietly.

Evelyn continued rubbing his back until Rachel called for him, not having an easy solution or much else she could offer him except her love, affection, and support.

* * *

Cuddy looked at the clock, estimating how long her mother had been gone. She looked at the stack of paperwork she still had to do and then sighed, setting it aside. She'd much rather enjoy the beginnings of spring than stay cooped up in here any longer. She was positive that she was missing out on all the fun Rachel was having at the park. She hurried to her room, throwing on a pair of jogging pants and a long-sleeved shirt, her hair quickly being pulled into a pony. Grabbing her iPod from the living room, she headed out, knowing the park her mother had been referring to.

Cuddy slowed down as the park came into sight, winded from the exercise. Since she hadn't run into her mother returning with Rachel yet, she figured they would still be here. Hitting the pause button on her iPod and pulling the ear pieces free, she glanced up in the direction of the park to try and find them. Then, just as she spotted her mother sitting on a bench, her back to Cuddy, she caught sight of Rachel and who was standing beside her and Cuddy's heartbeat sped up. She stepped behind a tree, knowing that anyone who saw her would probably question her suspicious behavior, but she pretended to be using the tree to stretch her calves out, guessing it was as good a cover as any.

House was talking with Rachel where he stood about fifteen yards in front of her mother, Rachel happily playing in the sand while she smiled up at House. She couldn't make out their words but she could hear the rumble of his voice across the distance. Cuddy didn't know whether to feel angry or betrayed or… jealous. But then all those thoughts were wiped from her mind as House crossed the distance to her mother, leaned towards her, and a second later, lifted up a baby Cuddy hadn't noticed before or thought to worry about being present, one with dark hair, up into the air over his head, moving her around like an airplane. Cuddy stopped breathing, unable to take her eyes off the baby, just staring as he brought her back down and then quickly up again, causing her to laugh a beautiful baby laugh, a musical laugh that Cuddy knew would haunt her for the rest of her life. She couldn't see her face closely enough to make out every detail, but suddenly, that was all she wanted. With everything in her, she desperately wanted to meet this little creature. For the first time, she allowed herself to _want_ to know her own daughter and be so acquainted with every detail that no one would question who her mother was.

Cuddy watched, realizing that she had stopped breathing only when her lungs began to ache. House placed the baby on his shoulder and then turned, heading back to Rachel. He reached down, rifling her hair and saying something to make her giggle, before taking her hand, pulling her up to her feet, and walking her back over to Cuddy's mother, who attempted to brush sand out of her hair, finally giving up when Rachel pulled away, running for the slides. House laughed, shaking his head. He said something to her mother then, the baby in his arms happily sucking on her fist before offering it to House. He made a disgusted face, or so Cuddy thought since he really was quite far away and she couldn't be sure, but then House proceeded to rub his stubble against the baby's fist until she started chortling and uncurled her fingers, patting at his face. He smiled at the baby, pressing a kiss to her cheek before passing her back to Cuddy's mother. Cuddy watched as he turned and went after Rachel, almost jogging, though she supposed it was more hobbling after her than actual jogging, until he finally caught her, causing her to squeal gleefully, and lifting her until he could press his face into her belly, tickling her with his stubble and blowing raspberries unmercifully.

Cuddy's heart felt like it would burst. She felt like she was an outsider, like a woman who had lost her family in a tragic accident, hungrily watching a man with his children at the park. And then she felt like she had no business being there, trespassing on this moment that didn't belong to her. She suddenly realized how long she'd been watching and waited until House was turned away, being led by Rachel's hand back towards the slide, before she turned and raced off, heading home.

When she got there, she grabbed a water bottle and headed for the bathroom, shutting the door and then collapsing against it. She sank down to the floor, reliving what she'd seen, wishing that could be hers, and knowing in a way that it was. The tears came then and she sobbed heart-wrenchingly until she heard Rachel and knew they had returned. She finally got to her feet, stripped down, stepped into the shower, and turned the water as hot as she could bear it, welcoming the sting as it rained down upon her skin and made her feel like she'd have burns covering the length of her body by the time she got out.

* * *

Evelyn was in the kitchen fixing supper when Cuddy entered sometime after her shower, taking a seat next to Rachel. She glanced in her daughter's direction once the vegetarian lasagna she'd made was in the oven and paused, noting Lisa's red-rimmed eyes.

Biting her lip, she headed for the table and sat down next to her. Cuddy glanced at her mother but then dropped her gaze down to the floor. Evelyn hesitated, unsure about what to ask or what to say. Finally she softly probed, "You've been crying. What's wrong?"

Cuddy licked her lips and the tears immediately began falling as she murmured, "What if I was wrong? What if I've made the biggest mistake of my life and now every day I'm going to wake up and have no choice but to pay the consequences, knowing that I'm the only one at fault for what I've done and… I can't undo any of it?"

Evelyn tossed her head about and exhaled heavily, feeling like this was hitting out of the blue. She fumbled for words to say as her daughter just started sobbing, her hands coming up to cover her face. Getting to her feet, she reached for Lisa and pulled her to her feet as well, her arms wrapping around her as she just held her, allowing her to cry it out. Evelyn's own tears began their descent down her face as Rachel stared at the two of them, clearly confused as to what she was supposed to do or think. At two, this was completely beyond her capacity to understand and process. Evelyn was surprised that Rachel didn't start crying.

Evelyn rubbed Lisa's back much as she had Greg's not long before. When Lisa pulled herself together enough that she was just trembling slightly and sniffing incessantly, Evelyn released her and reached for her purse, pulling out some tissues to pass to her daughter.

Cuddy took them and blew her nose but couldn't face her mother so her eyes remained downcast.

"What mistake are we talking about?" Evelyn asked with all the compassion flooding her mother's heart right then.

"I… I thought I'd come join you and Rachel at the park," Cuddy brokenly mumbled.

Evelyn's eyes widened but then closed, stunned by that news. After a moment she opened them back up and tried to control her racing heart before prompting her to continue with a short but drawn-out two syllable reply. "Okay."

Cuddy's chest was rising and falling with each breath, her eyes more pained than Evelyn had ever seen them. "I… got there and saw House was with you. But I… didn't see the baby because you were holding her. And then he came to you and lifted her up and…"

"And," Evelyn encouraged as Lisa wiped more tears from her face.

"And she was far away but she was… beautiful," Cuddy breathlessly murmured between ragged sobs. "And perfect. And she laughed and I… _Oh, mama! What have I done?!"_

Evelyn's head tilted to the side as Cuddy spoke, experiencing a portion of her pain right along with her before taking the few steps necessary to close the gap and squeeze her daughter close once again.

"Oh baby," she whispered, unable to say anything more for a few minutes as she tried to think of what she could possibly say in this moment that would be appropriate and yet not be something that was empty or false comfort.

"House doesn't want me," Cuddy mumbled into her mother's neck. "And I've… given up my own child and she's out there and I know where she is but… I have no right to see her, let alone be involved in her life and…"

"Shh," Evelyn soothed. "Shh."

Cuddy fell silent but she was too worked up to stop crying.

As much as Evelyn wanted to reply to some of her daughter's statements, there were some things that weren't her place to reveal. Releasing Lisa once more, she stepped back and then reached for Lisa's chin, drawing it up to face her. "You NEED to talk to Greg about this. If you want to run, run _towards_ something for once, rather than _away_ from it! Where has running _away_ gotten you? You _want_ Greg? You _want_ your daughter? You _want_ to be_ involved_ in their lives? Then _do_ something about it, Lisa! Pull your head out of the sand and quit pretending that the world only consists of brown dirt and has nothing more to offer you!"

"But mama, I don't _deserve_ to be involved," she brokenly forced herself to admit.

"Maybe you don't," Evelyn said evenly, intently staring into her eyes. "But that doesn't mean you can't. Right now, the only thing getting in your way is you."

Cuddy shook her head as best she could, considering her mother was still holding her chin. "House won't let me," she mumbled.

"Have you asked him?" Evelyn stated pointedly, dropping her hand to cross her arms. "Because until you ask him, you can't know that with certainty."

"In the car, on the way home from Georgia, I… asked him where we stood and he said there is no 'we'. He… asked if I was trying to tell him I wanted back into the baby's life and I… said no. I…" Cuddy let out a ragged breath. "He replied to say that was good because I'm not… needed or wanted."

Evelyn shook her head, eyeing her daughter with disapproval. "Well _really_ Lisa, what would you _expect_ the man to _say_ when you answered to say you didn't want to be in her life?! He _loves_ that little girl the two of you created and brought into this world! Don't you think it _hurts_ him to believe that you don't want anything to do with her?! Don't you think he _aches_ to have to question whether or not _he's_ the _real_ reason you want nothing to do with her and that _if only_ Lucas was her father, you'd have been _absurdly_ happy to have her?! Do you have some ludicrous view of Greg as being superhuman?! Is he supposed to be _above_ feeling wounded and lashing out?! Can you honestly tell me that you've meant everything you've said to him since that night you became pregnant?! If you can't, then you better not expect that he has either."

Lisa stared at her mother, too stunned to respond to any of her statements, her mouth gaping.

Evelyn expelled her breath and looked upwards as if asking God for strength before saying, "Lisa, I can't promise you that Greg will welcome you into that baby's life. I can't even say he'll allow you the opportunity to meet your child. I'm not guaranteeing you that you'll regain all you threw away so many months ago and I certainly won't be the one to lead you to believe Greg will give you another chance as if none of whatever happened between the two of you, happened. But I can _swear_ to you that if you _don't_ make up your mind about _what you want_ and _get over_ whatever your hang-ups are right now, you'll never have the blessing of loving and being loved by that child. And _THAT_ will be no one's fault except your own. So consider carefully what you're going to do now. Because honestly, if you want this you're going to have to go after it and _pull out the stops_! Regardless of what you _think_ Greg will say, while prepared for _whatever_ it may cost you. I'm… _your mother_ and I want to intercede on your behalf but… I'm not going to. I'm here for you and I'm here for him but I am _NOT_ going to be the middleman. This is between you and Greg. All I can tell you is, before approaching him you might want to do some serious thinking about what you want and why you want it. Because Greg _will _need to know the answers to those questions. He _deserves_ to. And you better be ready to answer him the first time because you might not get a second shot. Have I made myself clear?"

Cuddy slowly blinked and then nodded in acknowledgement.

"Good, because I have to get that garlic bread in the oven before the lasagna is ready," Evelyn replied easily as if the last thirty minutes hadn't taken place, stepping around her daughter to pull it out of the fridge.

Cuddy walked out of the kitchen and into the living room, sinking down onto the couch, having a lot to think about.

* * *

House carried Evie into the house, setting the sleeping baby down to go prepare her bottle. He knew she wouldn't stay asleep for long. She had started to cry in the car, hungry because they'd stayed longer than he'd planned to at the park, not having packed a ready-made bottle for her. By the time the bottle was ready, Evie was crying with everything in her. He picked her up and carried her with him to his bedroom, laying her down before settling on his side next to her, bottle in hand. He slipped it into her waiting mouth, watching her thirstily chug it down. He thought about their time at the park, of Evelyn and her desire to move closer, of Rachel and how fast she was growing, of Cuddy and his conversation with Evelyn regarding her absence, and last of all, of Evie and how grateful he was to have her and to be given the opportunity to love her as she deserved to be loved. He sat up when the bottle was empty, burping her before heading to the nursery to change her and get her into her pajamas. But even when she was all ready for bed, he found himself unable to place her in her crib, just wanting to hold her a little longer. She fell asleep on his shoulder and he finally settled her on his bed after pulling the sheets down, before going to make himself some dinner.

He wasn't all that hungry so he just made himself an omelet and then went to get ready for bed, brushing his teeth and changing into a t-shirt and pajama pants. He rifled a hand through his hair, leaving it messy and sticking out in different directions. Then he went back into his bedroom and pulled back the blankets further before turning out the light. He eased himself down on the bed after piling the pillows so that he'd be propped up in the middle. Then he reached for Evie, settling her on his belly, one hand resting on her pajama-clad diaper, the other under the pillow directly below his head. He was surprised at how exhausted he was. It wasn't long before he drifted off, his last thought being how he wouldn't trade these moments for anything in the world.

_-----_

**_"They didn't have you where I come from  
Never knew the best was yet to come  
Life began when I saw your face  
And I hear your laugh like a serenade _**

**_How long do you want to be loved?  
Is forever enough, is forever enough?  
How long do you want to be loved?  
Is forever enough  
Cause I'm never, never giving you up _**

**_I slip in bed when you're asleep  
To hold you close and feel your breath on me  
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do  
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you _**

**_How long do you want to be loved?  
Is forever enough, is forever enough?  
How long do you want to be loved?  
Is forever enough  
Cause I'm never, never giving you up _**

**_As you wander through this troubled world  
In search of all things beautiful  
You can close your eyes when you're miles away  
And hear my voice like a serenade _**

**_How long do you want to be loved?  
Is forever enough, is forever enough?  
How long do you want to be loved?  
Is forever enough  
Cause I'm never, never giving you up _**

**_How long do you want to be loved?  
Is forever enough, is forever enough?  
How long do you want to be loved?  
Is forever enough  
Cause I'm never, never giving you up  
Is forever enough  
Cause I'm never, never giving you up"

* * *

_**

Song: "Lullaby" (Dixie Chicks)


	61. Hurt

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I think it's funny that some of you think this story is close to being wrapped up. :) We still have SO much to deal with!! And this chapter reminds us of that fact because Cuddy... really messed up way back when. We're... about two-thirds of the way through, though. :) I'm SO glad you loved last chapter!! And I'm really thankful for your patience all along because I know there have been tons of chapters without any real Huddy interaction - it couldn't be helped, but... I know how that can make one crazy! :) Thanks for your faithfulness! And enjoy!!)_

* * *

March 28th, 2011

Cuddy hadn't slept much the night before, her thoughts swirling in a hundred different directions and an endless supply of tears flowing freely down her cheeks. There was only so much she could handle and right now she was just trying to work through why she suddenly wanted back into the picture where the baby was concerned, shelving everything else. Because if she allowed herself to look at all the angles and all the reasons why she had no business asking House to give her another shot with their child, her world would literally fall apart.

After a quick breakfast, she kissed Rachel goodbye and then gave her mother a tentative smile before heading out the door to go into work, knowing she needed to trade focuses for a few hours to get what she could done at PPTH since she was only working mornings this week and intended to keep her word to her mother after what had happened last time. There was a board meeting scheduled for early the next day and she had several last minute preparations to do in order to have them ready. Walking in the front doors of the hospital, she spotted Wilson at the front desk. She hesitated briefly but then went to his side.

"Morning, Wilson," she greeted him before inquiring, "I was wondering if you have a list prepared for Oncology items you'd like on the agenda for tomorrow's meeting."

"I have them right here," he acknowledged, picking his briefcase up from where he'd set it on the floor and opening it a minute later to pull out the file. He went over it briefly with her and then handed it over.

"Thanks," Cuddy replied simply, looking from the paper now in her hand and back to Wilson.

"No problem," Wilson responded automatically. But her eyes were intently upon his face and her mouth opened as if to say something, so he waited.

When she remained silent, Wilson asked, "Was there something else?"

"Oh, uh… no. That's it," Cuddy answered, shaking herself out of her stupor. She really didn't know what she'd been about to say. She wanted to talk to him, like she used to. Like a trusted friend that she could confide in when things were shaky. But she really couldn't, could she? She wanted to ask how to get in contact with House. But the likelihood of him answering that was in the negative percentile. Especially not without an explanation. And anyway, if she was going to do this, House deserved for her to approach him before anyone else.

Giving Wilson a shaky smile, she turned and headed for her office, knowing she had three other department heads to contact and request agenda items from.

He watched her go, frowning as he tried to figure out what that final moment had been about, vaguely curious but mostly confused by Cuddy in general.

* * *

March 29th, 2011

Erika had invited House and Evie over for dinner, which was currently cooking in the oven. Evie was now sleeping up on Erika's bed, hemmed in on all sides by pillows, Trevor was working on math problems at the dining room table, and House was camped out on the three season porch.

"I don't know why you like that futon," Erika said, shaking her head as she stepped out to join him after setting the timer on the stove. "It's lumpy and uncomfortable. I meant to get rid of it once winter ended. But the way I keep finding you in here, I'm beginning to think I'll never be able to throw it out. Can't you attach yourself to another piece of furniture?"

"Come on! It's not that bad!" he replied from where he sat, reclining against it. "At least you can't feel the bars through all the padding."

She gave him a pointed look from where she stood, her arms crossed. "That's where the lumpy comes into play. It's the only reason you can't." After a moment she shook her head and then untangled her hands, smoothing her grey sweater before coming to sit beside him, tired from a long day at work. She liked these moments. Greg House had really grown on her and she enjoyed their easy, uncomplicated friendship.

"I'm glad you moved in next door," she told him then, surprising him as the comment seemed to come out of nowhere.

House turned his head her way, lifting an eyebrow at her. "Why?"

"Because you're good for me. You're a good friend. I've missed having a guy in my life. And I mean that in a completely platonic way. I forgot how nice it was to hang out with someone of the opposite sex. Men aren't catty. And they aren't confusing to the extent women are, or as complicated."

"Hey," House interrupted, feigning indignation. "I'm complicated!"

Erika smiled, biting back a laugh. "Well you are. But at the same time, you're pretty straight forward; when you want to be anyway. You aren't afraid to get right to the point. You don't worry about my feelings or hold back to put yourself in a good light. You just are who you are. And I really enjoy that. I enjoy our friendship."

"Plus, I take your kid to monster truck rallies," he added, completely serious.

This time she did laugh. "And you take my kid to monster truck rallies," Erika agreed.

House looked at her and she read in one glance that he was up to something. Before she could react however, he reached beside him and hit the bar to release the futon from an upright position. The futon was so old that it didn't release slowly as it was meant to, instead dropping them flat in a matter of seconds. House laughed as she bounced beside him, squealing, and she automatically smacked him.

"You're such a jerk," she mumbled then, not trying to get up because she knew she'd have to wrestle the couch to accomplish it.

"Hey! What happened to all the compliments and how much you enjoy being with me?" he announced in mock outrage.

"Yeah, that moment has now passed," Erika muttered, laying there beside him, her feet hanging off the bottom of the futon.

House chuckled, knowing she wasn't bothering to get up because it would require some serious effort.

"When it's time to get up, you now have an obligation to help me," she informed him next.

"Yeah, right," he quipped, moving about slightly as he tried to figure out what wasn't right about his position.

Erika turned her head in his direction and laughed. "I told you it wasn't comfortable," she informed him dryly.

"It's not that," he grumpily announced. "I think Trevor spilled something on the couch. I feel like something is soaking into my shirt."

She frowned. Trevor hadn't been playing out here. And then she glanced up at the ceiling in thought and automatically figured out what it was. "Great. There's a hole in my ceiling. I'm sure it's those stupid squirrels. I should have known they were up to something. Last fall they were always up on the house. I thought they were just collecting all the acorns from the rooftop. I'm surprised this is the first I've noticed it. But then I hate this futon. And it rained yesterday. The cushions must be wet from it getting in."

House groaned and tried to get up with little success.

She laughed heartily. "It's your own fault!" she teased.

He gave her a dirty look but then his lips pursed and instead of trying to get up again, he rocked from side to side, building up momentum.

"House, what are you doing?" she asked in trepidation.

And then he threw his weight into it, freeing himself from the couch enough to roll over practically on top of her.

"Get off! You're squishing me!" she complained, shoving at him.

He chuckled but was now able to plant his hands on either side of her, using his arms to lever himself free from the futon. Once he was upright, she extended a hand for him to take. When he just looked at it skeptically, Erika growled. "Get me out of this thing!"

He smiled and took her hand, pulling her to her feet. Releasing her, House reached behind him to feel his shirt, his nose wrinkling in disgust.

"Take your shirt off," she suggested. "I'll throw it in the wash for you and grab you something else to put on."

"I live right next door," House reminded her. "I can go home and change."

"Whatever you want but you have to come back then. Your daughter is napping on my bed and you have a roof to fix before I feed you," she replied, perfectly serious, pointing to the ceiling.

"Yeah, right! Like I'm going to fix your roof for you!" he sarcastically remarked.

Her mouth dropped open as her eyes narrowed before she huffed out a breath. "You're a guy. It's your duty. How hard can it be?"

House laughed. "Just because I'm a guy doesn't mean I know about roofing. I'm a doctor, not a repairman. Call me when you need an appendix taken out or a disease diagnosed. And I'm a cripple too. If anything, that overrules any responsibility I might have to get up there and patch that up for you."

"What kind of neighbor are you?" she quipped, shaking her head. "And where's my knight in shining armor?"

House rolled his eyes, an eyebrow lifting as he looked at her. "You're looking at the wrong guy. I'm no knight in shining armor. Call Wilson. He's useless too but maybe he'll still give it a shot."

Erika smiled tenderly at him, thinking of everything she had learned and witnessed regarding the man before her since he'd moved last fall. "You are a knight in shining armor," she corrected. "You're just not mine."

House looked away uncomfortably, clearly not agreeing with her. Somehow she was romanticizing him beyond the realm of the possible to that which was clearly preposterous and implausible. That she could do that and yet know him, only considering him a friend, was… unbelievable and decidedly bizarre. He wasn't anyone's knight in shining armor. He never would be. Not that maybe he hadn't… tried.

She realized that he was lost in thought, far away, and turned to slip into the house, going to dig out one of Ben's shirt for him from the favorites she'd hung onto. When she returned he was still standing there, looking forlorn. "Take off that shirt," she instructed, breaking his spell.

"You just want to see me half naked," he taunted when he'd snapped out of the past and drew up his defenses, reaching down to pull his shirt off anyway.

She smiled, allowing her eyes to roam over his upper half once his shirt was out of the way.

"You think I'm hot. Admit it," he smirked, trying not to laugh.

She shrugged. "You're sexy. And after those months of working out, really buff. Why wouldn't I?"

"Seriously?" he stated in shock, his chin dropping as he stared at her.

"Yeah," she responded easily, laughing at his expression before taking his shirt and passing him a clean one. "And yet my feelings are completely platonic where you are concerned," she added.

He held the shirt in his hands for a moment, smiling now. "You realize that our relationship is rather dysfunctional, don't you?"

Erika shook her head. "You just think it's dysfunctional because it's not like any of your other relationships. It's not dysfunctional though. Not really. Certainly not for you. And not for me, either. Though I will say it's unique."

"Ah, but I only do dysfunctional," he responded both regretfully and sarcastically. "It's an unspoken contract I have with myself."

"Just put your shirt on," she replied in exasperation, rolling her eyes.

"See?" House declared. "You're uncomfortable with my manly physique. Wilson must not be cutting it for you."

Erika gave him a droll look before turning to enter the house. "James and I are dating. Not sleeping together. We've got enough complications to manage without adding that one. So quit getting ahead of yourself. And ahead of us," she added as a last minute thought.

"Also, if you aren't going to fix my roof, at least call someone for me," Erika threw over her shoulder at him.

House smiled, tugging the shirt on before reaching for his cell phone. That he could do.

* * *

March 30th, 2011

Kate was out with Linda at her desk going over some scheduling issues for the next week when Cuddy entered for Wednesday's appointment. Kate glanced up and paused in the middle of her sentence but then smiled before finishing up with Linda. Walking to pull open the door leading to her office, she motioned Cuddy inside with a smile.

"You sure it worked out for us to have my appointment earlier today?" Cuddy inquired as she stepped within.

"Yes. It wasn't a problem at all," she reassured quickly before pulling the door closed behind them.

Cuddy sat down while Kate headed to her desk, stepping around it to sink down into her own seat. When Cuddy sighed heavily, Kate looked at her, an eyebrow lifted.

Tears were already coursing down Lisa's cheeks. Reaching for the box of Kleenex, she moved it to the edge of the desk and within Cuddy's reach, causing her to laugh softly through the tears.

"I'm pathetic, aren't I?" she wryly murmured then, taking a handful of Kleenex and mopping at her face.

"No, Lisa," Kate negated. "You aren't pathetic. You've just got a lot going on right now. I'd be worried about you if you didn't have strong emotions about this stuff and if you didn't allow yourself to express that however you need to."

Cuddy took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down before her eyes fell to the desk and she softly admitted, "I want to be involved in my daughter's life."

Kate's eyes opened in surprise and she leaned forward towards Cuddy as she glanced up at her, drawing her own shaky breath. "What changed?" Kate asked after a moment.

Cuddy licked her lips and caught a tear with a finger before closing her eyes briefly. "My mom came back into town Saturday. Sunday she took Rachel to the park while I was working through a pile of files at home. I thought I'd go join them. So I changed and went for a run, heading to the park. And when I got there… House was with them."

Kate studied Lisa for a minute and then nodded encouragingly for her to continue.

"My mom was sitting on a bench with her back to me. House was with Rachel, a short distance in front of where my mom was. None of them saw me. I… I didn't know whether to be angry because I had told my mom I didn't want Rachel around House, betrayed that she'd do it anyway and spend time with House herself, or jealous because I want him and can't have him, yet he's willing and wanting to spend time with Rachel and my mom. House headed for my mother before I could decide which feeling trumped the others and… _she was there_. I hadn't even considered the _possibility_! I've never _once_ encountered House with her present. I never expected I would. But my mom was holding her unbeknownst to me and then House picked her up and… Kate, reality came crashing down. I have a living, breathing baby girl out there that I spent the majority of my pregnancy trying to pretend didn't exist and the months following, attempting to forget. And she's… perfect and beautiful and… I don't know her _at all_. I don't even know her _name_. And I can't stop thinking that that's all I want – not just to know her name but to know her and… get another chance to be the mother I should have been but that I've… failed to be to her," Cuddy finished in a whisper, her eyes averted.

"So what did you do?" Kate pressed in amazement that Lisa had done such a 180 in the span of a week, though she supposed it had been a long time coming.

"_What could I do?"_ Cuddy asked. "I felt out of place; like I didn't belong there. House didn't know I was present. It wouldn't have been appropriate I don't think to approach at that moment. I had too much needing to be processed. I… went home."

"Did you talk to your mom when she returned with Rachel?" Kate couldn't help asking.

"I told her that I saw them and that I want to be involved in the baby's life," Cuddy affirmed, blowing her nose.

"And what did she say?" Kate inquired next.

"She… said that if I want to be involved I have to do something about it. That I need to talk to House," Cuddy replied, wiping at her eyes as she tried to calm her breathing.

"Sounds like good advice to me," Kate replied, nodding. "How did you respond to that?"

Cuddy sighed dramatically and said, "I don't deserve to be, Kate. _I know I don't._ I told my mother I don't. And I told her that House won't let me. He said in the car on the way home from Georgia that I wasn't _needed or wanted_. And then my mom got after me because I hadn't been telling House I wanted to be involved but reinforcing that I didn't want anything to do with the baby. She demanded to know how I could expect him to react any other way when he loves his daughter as much as he does and… and she asked me if I don't think it hurts him to believe I'm uninterested in the child we share; if I think he doesn't… ache to have to consider whether or not I would feel differently about her if she was Lucas's child."

"And the truth is, there's a strong possibility you would have felt differently had she been Lucas's," Kate recognized and said out loud.

Cuddy's shoulders sank and she tossed her head about before agonizingly declaring, "But not anymore! Lucas has _NOTHING_ to do with how I feel now!"

Kate nodded understandingly but her expression remained intent. "I understand that, Lisa. I do. I'm just trying to process how you're going to handle this while also considering how House might react. If you go to House, it's not like you can say, 'Hey, I would have come sooner had she been Lucas's.' But he might ask that. You don't know. At the same time, you can't go in and lie if he were to ask you why you've suddenly changed your mind. So what do you want to say to him?"

Cuddy glanced away and murmured, "My mom pointed out that I need to really work through what I want and why I want it. So I've been _trying_ to do that. And I understand that House might ask questions and I better be prepared to answer them in case I only get one shot at this. I just… need some help processing."

Kate nodded and then gently inquired, "Why do you want back in, Lisa?"

Cuddy's eyes closed and when she spoke, it was fighting a lump in her throat. "I've already lost so much. I don't want to lose anything else. And I… I was wrong. I was wrong to think that Lucas was my one shot at happiness. I was _completely_ wrong about House. And I was wrong in thinking I couldn't love this baby because… I… I think deep down inside I… might and I _desperately want her_. I want to be involved in her life and know her. I don't want to miss out on any more of her life than I've already cost myself."

With the slightest trace of irony to her words, Kate asked, "I take it you've moved beyond blaming House for forcing you into carrying through with a pregnancy you wanted to terminate?"

Cuddy looked quickly up at her, heartbroken at the reminder of what she'd wanted to do and might very well have done if House hadn't stopped her.

"I'm sorry," Kate apologized. "I wasn't trying to be cruel and I guess that might have come across as being so. I'm just trying to work through all the issues you and House might have to conquer for this to work out. I don't want to have you leave today, unprepared for what might come up in a conversation with him."

"It's… okay," Cuddy murmured after a moment. "You're right. And… House was right. He was. I… If I had terminated the pregnancy… I don't know how I would have lived with myself. This is… bad enough – knowing I've missed out on… six months of her life already and that House might… not let me enter the picture now. But to get through everything I felt surrounding Lucas and then realize that I love House – that I'd killed the baby we'd made together – I… I don't know that I _COULD_ recover from that. The _very idea_ that I wanted to end her life… After seeing her… It triggers a stabbing pain in my chest that… if I do get to meet her, I know will only be that much more _piercing_."

"But you want to meet her anyway," Kate replied, contemplating the fact that Cuddy was not anywhere near being oblivious to all that stretched out before her while appreciating the sign that knowing what she was up against didn't send her running.

"I do," Cuddy affirmed. "My mom said I need to be committed to doing whatever it takes if I want back in. And that means facing what I've done, what I've lost, what I've deprived myself of, House of, my… daughter of. I… know it will be hard. I know that's an _understatement. _But… I _want_ to do it. Oh Kate, you have no idea how much I _want_ to do _whatever_ it takes!"

"How do you THINK House will react?" Kate asked then.

Cuddy rubbed a hand over her face, her red-rimmed eyes locked on Kate's. "I don't know. I… I've hurt him very much I think. No, I know. I know I have. He might flat-out deny my request. But… something tells me he will at least give me an opportunity to _explain_ why I want to be involved. He… You're right. He does care about me somehow. I really was awful to him during my pregnancy but… I can't explain all he's done for me without recognizing that he cares… at least a little. Even if I don't know how or to what extent."

"Lisa, how did you hurt him?" Kate inquired, studying her. "I know things were rough between you but you indicate that you've done a lot of damage to the relationship you once had with him and would like to have again. Maybe I could help if I understood better."

Cuddy didn't want to explain. She didn't want to have to face her demons. But suddenly she found herself talking and unable to hold the floodgates back.

"I… I've been very cruel. If I've said he's been cruel to me, then magnify that by 100 and you'll have an idea of… what _I_ did to _him_ when I was pregnant. That day in the hospital, when the baby was born, I… lost control. I was in so much pain… pain I brought upon myself as well as the pain that naturally comes with childbirth. And House was there for practically every minute. I… You know how doctors used to bleed their patients with leeches to clear out the toxins? Well… imagine House as that leech. _I know_. It's a _terrible _illustration but it's what I got. He… _absorbed_ a lot of my toxins during the pregnancy. And then when it was time for the birth, I… pulled him off and… poured salt on him to… _destroy him_, not caring at all what he'd done for me, what he'd sacrificed. Maybe I was… oblivious… but deep down, I _knew_ he was crippled by what had happened. And yet, he was there. I was in pain but… I knew what I was doing… I knew what I was saying… and I knew from his face that I was wounding him but… I just didn't care," Cuddy acknowledged, biting back a sob, tears streaming down her face once more.

"What did you say?" Kate queried softly.

"I… yelled at him and told him I regretted _ever_ meeting him in med school. That he'd brought me _nothing_ but pain and made my life _miserable _ever since. I told him if I could turn back the clock, I would have… _let him die_ after the infarction – that I would give anything to go back and _enjoy_ the agony he was in from the muscle death. I… screamed that I should _never have hired him_ in the first place and that it had been the _worst_ testament of poor judgment I'd_ ever_ made. I… told him if I could go back, I wouldn't have wasted my breath giving him CPR when he almost died after a bus crash." Cuddy's sobs had escalated dramatically but she pushed onward, needing to pour out all the toxic waste she'd accumulated in hating House so. "I said if it was possible to change things, I'd _never_ have stayed by his side when he was recovering. I… ran through a list of all the times I'd come to his defense and for each one, outlined why it was a… waste of my breath. I…"

Kate had a hard time understanding what she was saying but Cuddy was nowhere near done with her confession. "I… Kate, I screamed that I lamented having ever felt _ANYTHING _other than the hatred I felt for him right then. And of course I made sure to clarify just how much I detested having ever gone to his apartment and spending that night with him; the night which resulted in my pregnancy. I… I cursed him up one side and down the other. It didn't matter who was present in the room. It didn't matter that halfway through he could no longer meet my eyes. _Nothing mattered _except telling him just how much I abhorred him and despised myself for ever caring about him at all. I told him I… wished he'd… overdosed or succeeded in killing himself or never recovered from his stay at Mayfield while detoxing off Vicodin – never been released to return back to PPTH and make my life hell. And… that's just scraping the surface of the things I said to him that day," she finished, almost doubled over now, her hands clutching her hair and twined into it in distress.

Kate was stunned by this revelation, unable to react, but _completely unsurprised _when Cuddy pushed herself out of the chair and bolted for the bathroom, having made herself physically ill in recognizing all she'd done to inflict pain on House in the span of several hours in a delivery room.

Kate exhaled heavily, rubbing a hand over her face as the sound of Cuddy heaving in the bathroom spilled out into the main room. Lisa had disclosed a lot of history between her and House in the span of minutes, but it wasn't even something Kate could conceive exploring right now. She sat at her desk, unable to move, thinking she'd never heard such a devastating confession in all her career. Finally she recognized that she needed to get up and pushed her chair back to get to her feet, slowly making her way to Lisa in the bathroom, who sat with her back against the wall, facing the toilet, trying to calm down the rolling motion of her belly within her, one hand holding the hair back from her face.

Kate reached for an actual hand towel, wet it down, and passed it to her before flushing the toilet. Sinking to the floor to the side of her but reclining against the cabinets so that she was facing Cuddy, she met her gaze with all the compassion she could muster, remaining silent and just sitting there, keeping her company.

After taking the towel, Cuddy wiped her mouth before clenching it in a balled-up fist, allowing herself to meet Kate's gaze. The look on Kate's face was not the one she expected. It wasn't horror, revulsion, or disgust. But it wasn't pity either.

Kate took several minutes before releasing her breath and softly saying, "Well, I think I understand now why you feel you have a lot you're up against in making a go of things with him."

Lisa choked out a self-depreciating laugh and nodded. "I'm not sure I'm done in here," she murmured, looking away.

"We can meet in here," Kate casually replied. "I don't have a problem with that. Assuming you want to continue."

Cuddy released her grasp on her hair and dropped her head down slightly, staring at the towel she was clenching onto. Clearing her throat, she picked back up with where she'd left off. "House was going to leave and wait outside the delivery room. But I couldn't handle him leaving me to do it on my own, even as terribly as I was treating him. And… so he stayed. The baby wouldn't come but it was too late to do a cesarean. She just seemed to be stuck where she was at. I… didn't think I was going to make it. I was… ready to call it quits. I'd just… reached the end of what I could physically and emotionally bear. But… House didn't let me give up. The doctor wanted me to push, I was done pushing, and then suddenly House was up on the delivery bed with me. And he… he said I could pretend he was whoever I needed him to be in that moment – whoever I wished was there with me to get me through." Her tears started right back up but she didn't even try to wipe them away anymore. "He… asked me to let him do what he could to get me through it but he… didn't object to me pretending he wasn't who he was."

"Who did you pretend he was?" Kate asked, almost fearfully.

"I… didn't pretend anything," Cuddy replied, reestablishing eye contact. "House was… who I _needed_. He was… who I _wanted_. And he was there because _he_ wanted _me_ to get through it. There was _no need_ to pretend differently. In that moment… he was _everything I could ask for_."

To say Kate was relieved would have been a serious misrepresentation of how she felt. "And you made it through," she completed, stating the obvious.

"I still wasn't having any success. Time passed and I was once more ready to give up and surrender. I was exhausted. Nothing was changing. There seemed to be no purpose in what I was doing. So I… I told House I couldn't do it anymore. And… he said I could. He said I'm stronger than I think. And this time, when the contraction hit and I pushed, the baby moved. Within minutes, the baby was born. I… I can't be sure because it was all so exhausting and overwhelming but… I think he kissed my forehead before getting off the table. I fell back onto it and then I assume the doctor and nurses were working on the baby because a few seconds later, I heard her cry. And it panicked me because suddenly she was real. I… couldn't just pretend anymore. I… sent them out of the room with her but House… he came back to me and… his hands were on my face, stroking my cheek and smoothing my hair. He requested that I look at him and when I did… he… said he was proud of me. He said… thank you… and he… kissed me. I… didn't expect it. I didn't expect him to say anything at all. I… fully expected he'd already be long gone. But… he wasn't and he… asked me if I wanted him to stay with me but… I sent him away. I asked him to go. And… he did," Cuddy broke off, trying her hardest to stifle another sob.

"He sounds like a man who loved you very much, Lisa," Kate said a moment later.

"When he came over and took care of me… when Rachel was sick… I asked him if he hated me and he said he didn't. But I… I told him that _I hated him_," Cuddy mumbled. "He… sarcastically thanked me for going easy on his feelings and I just… told him that he didn't have feelings, that neither one of us did."

"_But you do_. And so does he," Kate responded gently.

"Kate, if I could take it back…" Cuddy breathed out, thoroughly heartbroken by her actions.

"I know," Kate replied softly, understanding what she was trying to say.

Cuddy turned her head to face the wall to the side of her, disregarding her skirt and pulling her legs up as she wrapped her arms around herself, huddling in the corner as the sobs began in earnest, her errors so numerous and her regrets so crushing.

-----

"_**Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face  
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away  
If only I knew what I know today  
Ooh, ooh  
I would hold you in my arms  
I would take the pain away  
Thank you for all you've done  
Forgive all your mistakes  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To hear your voice again  
Sometimes I wanna call ya  
But I know you won't be there**_

_**Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you  
For everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself by hurting you**_

_**Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit  
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss  
And it's so hard to say goodbye  
When it comes to this, oooh yeah**_

_**Would you tell me I was wrong?  
Would you help me understand?  
Are you looking down upon me?  
Are you proud of who I am?**_

_**There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To have just one more chance  
To look into your eyes  
And see you looking back**_

_**Oh, I'm sorry for blaming you  
For everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself, oh**_

_**If I had just one more day  
I would tell you how much that I've missed you  
Since you've been away  
Ooh, it's dangerous  
It's so out of line  
To try and turn back time**_

_**I'm sorry for blaming you  
For everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself**_

_**By hurting you"**_

* * *

Song: "Hurt" (Christina Aguilera)


	62. My Life Would Suck Without You

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

March 31st, 2011

Cuddy left the office the next day at noon, determined to go to House and at the very least, apologize for everything she'd done to him. She had wanted to go to him the day before but Kate had discouraged her from doing so as she really wasn't in any shape to talk to him and as she thought the best thing Cuddy could do right then was go home and get some rest, thinking out what she wanted to say and how she'd answer any questions he asked. Furthermore, she'd reminded her that this couldn't really be about House. If Cuddy was interested in her daughter, she needed to approach House from that angle, recognizing that it couldn't just be about her need to make things right between the two of them or… to find out what her chances were of ever winning his heart back to her.

She drove to his apartment and parked her car, not seeing his car anywhere. But then she remembered that he'd given it away. How was she to know what his car looked like now? She didn't see his motorcycle anywhere either but that didn't really surprise her. He had a baby now. A car was what he'd be most likely driving.

Checking her makeup one last time, wanting to be at her best when she finally encountered him, Cuddy inhaled deeply and then released it before opening her car door up and climbing out. She made her way to his apartment building, knowing there was a good possibility he wouldn't even be home from work but determined to stay until he came home. When she reached his apartment door, her eyes fluttered closed as she stood outside it, building up the courage to knock. Lifting her hand up in the air, she formed a fist and then knocked.

Hearing footsteps, she exhaled in preparation and opened her eyes. But when the door opened, it wasn't House standing there. She looked at the person in confusion and then at what she could see of the apartment behind him. Immediately she knew. House didn't live here anymore.

"Yeah?" the man said, eyeing her up and down.

Cuddy took a step back. "Sorry. Wrong address," she mumbled before turning and walking away. She heard the door close behind her and kept going, only pausing as she came alongside the mailboxes. And then she thought it was worth a shot. Glancing at them, she located the manager's apartment number and doubled back until she found it. Knocking on the door, she waited, hopeful that he'd give her something to work with.

"Can I help you?" the manager asked her upon opening the door.

"I was wondering," Cuddy began, wetting her lips. "I was wondering if you could tell me how to get in touch with Dr. House, who used to live here."

"You a patient wanting to sue?" the man asked uncertainly.

Well, Cuddy _understood_ that reaction perfectly from encountering it personally, but she held back a smile, rushing to explain. "No. Dr. House used to work for me and I'm trying to find out how to contact him."

"You could try him at work," the man suggested, visibly relaxing in the doorway.

"Where would that be?" Cuddy inquired.

"Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital," the man replied.

Cuddy released her breath in disappointment. "He doesn't work there anymore," she acknowledged.

"Oh," he muttered. "Didn't know that. Sorry. Can't help you then."

"You don't know where he moved to?" she pressed, not wanting to give up.

He shook his head but said, "Even if I did, I couldn't tell you."

Cuddy nodded slowly, her head falling forward and her heart sinking. "Alright. Thank you anyway."

* * *

Back in her car fifteen minutes later, she tried to think of how she could get in touch with him. It really wouldn't be hard at all to find out where he was working. But she had NO intention of seeking him out there for such a private matter. And obviously, Wilson would know. But THAT was just out of the question. Brainstorming, she fell back on the fact that he HAD been her employee. Which meant that there was still a chance she had the information available to her through the hospital database. After all, while Cuddy wouldn't admit it to anyone else, she WAS insanely devoted to her baby and saw fit to micromanage _everything_! At least she had been prior to giving birth. She supposed she wasn't quite as guilty of that with House absent and… depriving her of that compulsion to pour herself into _everything_ so that _nothing_ would go amiss. Still, she always received a report of any issues resulting from someone's inability to locate a past employee, shortly after the end of the year and W-2 time. And Cuddy would have noticed his name on it. _So,_ either it had been forwarded by the post office and it would be House's old address in the system OR she'd find his current one with just a _little_ careful digging.

Content with her innovativeness, Cuddy headed for home, knowing her mom would be waiting for her and while she would have risked not showing up until hours past when she said she would, in order to talk to House, it would probably make more sense to just check the system in the morning, rather than go back and potentially find herself stuck there.

Cuddy hoped this would work for her though. Otherwise, she'd have to… find him at his workplace and follow him home, somehow without getting caught and yet remaining close enough to know which car to track. That was just a little too complicated. Unless she turned to Lucas. No, that would never happen. Her humiliation had reached an all-time low where he was concerned. To hire Lucas to find House… that was just wrong.

* * *

"You're home late," Evelyn remarked as Cuddy came in through the door.

"Mommy!" Rachel excitedly shrieked, running to her.

"Hey honey," Cuddy replied, lifting her daughter up for a hug and a kiss.

She turned her attention to her mother after setting Rachel back down. "Stopped to pick up groceries on the way home," Cuddy replied dismissively, reaching back outside to grab a couple bags she'd placed on the front stoop. She'd intentionally stopped at the store for just this purpose, not wanting to have to explain to her mother before she explained to House, why she was seeking him. This way saying she was late because of stopping for groceries wasn't a lie. At least, not an exact lie anyway. She'd been lying to her mother since she was twelve. That didn't mean she had it down to a science though.

Evelyn reached to take a bag and then walked into the kitchen ahead of her. "How was work?"

"Good. But it's definitely nice to work half-days for a week," she admitted, setting the bag down to go grab the final one still sitting on the stoop.

Rachel followed her into the kitchen with her baby doll and then she and her mother unloaded groceries together.

"How did your session go yesterday?" Evelyn couldn't help but ask.

Cuddy looked down at the floor, pursing her lips. But then she met her mother's eyes and quietly said, "It… was hard. But good. And I needed… to work through some stuff."

Evelyn nodded but didn't say any more, not wanting to pressure her daughter.

"I was thinking I'd go for a run after spending some time with Rachel," Cuddy informed her a minute later. "If you don't mind watching her. Otherwise, I can always take her with."

"No, that's fine, dear," Evelyn replied, knowing that Lisa had _always _done her best thinking while pounding the pavement and _personally hoping_ that she'd make a decision soon about what she was going to do regarding House and Georgia.

"Then afterwards I'll come home and shower," Cuddy concluded. "Maybe we could go out for dinner tonight. Would that work for you, mom?"

Evelyn gave her a smile before opening the fridge door to put the milk and orange juice away. "That sounds like a great idea," she acknowledged.

"Good," Cuddy replied, smiling affectionately at her mother before grabbing the now empty bags from the counter and putting them away. Turning to Rachel, she said, "Want to spend some time with mommy?"

Rachel nodded happily. "Read me books?" she asked.

"Mommy would love to read you books," Cuddy answered, reaching out to smooth Rachel's hair and tuck a few strands behind her ears.

Evelyn watched them go, smiling as Rachel dragged her baby doll behind her, her other hand tucked in Lisa's. It looked like things were back on track between the two of them. Now if only Lisa would take that first big step towards Greg and Georgia, perhaps there would finally be hope of their family being together the way it was meant to be. _That _was something Evelyn was eagerly anticipating and praying for.

* * *

House rang Evelyn's number after getting home from work, surprised that she hadn't called or come by to see Evie since their visit at the park on Sunday. Being that she was in town for a week, he had automatically assumed he'd see more of her, and therein, maybe see Rachel as well. But she hadn't been in touch. He didn't know how to interpret that. It seemed unlikely that Cuddy had found out they'd met up. But who was he kidding? The possibility existed. Rachel could easily have said something to her.

"Hi Greg," she greeted warmly, Lisa being out for a run. "How are you? How's Georgia?"

"We're good. I was just… You haven't been by. Is everything alright? Did Rachel say something?" he asked, knowing he sounded pathetic but wanting to know he had nothing to worry about here and that she'd bring Rachel by once more before she left.

Evelyn frowned, not knowing how to respond. She wanted to come out and say Lisa knew. But he hadn't exactly asked and too, she hadn't brought the subject up since her initial talk with her daughter, though it was probably time she did. The way Lisa had come home though following her appointment with her psychiatrist yesterday, Evelyn had assumed that Lisa WAS actually going to _do _something this time. However, if she wasn't, the last thing Evelyn wanted was to either worry Greg about something that might not happen or cause him greater disappointment if Lisa failed to act. And then of course, she had told Lisa she wasn't going to be the middleman. So how could she tell Greg?

Realizing how long her response had taken, she moistened her lips and quickly reassured, "No. Rachel didn't say anything. And everything's fine. I… Well, with Lisa not working except half-days, it's been harder to get away without detection and… I haven't risked it yet. But what about tomorrow night? I could come by then. I'll… come up with some excuse."

House expelled his breath. "Tomorrow works for me," he acknowledged. "Evie and I will be home by 6 p.m. if that works."

"That would be great," she replied easily.

"But take the exit just before the one you'd normally take," House added, remembering there was construction at the intersection she would normally take and it would cost her time and energy trying to get back on track. "Will you be able to find your way from there?"

"Yes," Evelyn reassured him. "I missed the exit one time and had to pull aside for directions. It shouldn't be a problem. Rachel and I will see you then."

"Okay. Bye Grandma Cuddles," House responded, hanging up a second later.

House set the phone down on the counter and then turned to Evie who was sitting in her baby bouncer. "_You_," he said pointedly, "need a diaper change."

Evie put one hand in her mouth, babbling around it, smiling at her daddy. House lifted her up and carried her in front of him, his hands holding her at a distance as if she'd get stink on him if he allowed her too close. Evie giggled in response.

Setting her down on the changing table, he stripped her down completely and cleaned her up. After blowing raspberries on her naked belly and getting her to laugh, House finally reached for a diaper. By the time he had it ready to go, Evie had her foot in her mouth and was contentedly sucking at her toes while watching him.

"Someone needs to teach you oral hygiene," he wryly informed her, lifting her butt up to slip the diaper under before fastening it on. Shaking his head, he pulled her foot from her mouth, causing her lips to make a popping noise as he broke the seal she'd created in sucking and Evie to pout in protest.

"If you're hungry, I was about to feed you anyway," House pointedly declared, pursing his lips and contemplating putting her pajamas on. Deciding to hold off until after she ate, he lifted her up and placed her on his shoulder, rolling his eyes but smiling when she turned her head to mouth his neck.

"Don't get any ideas," he muttered then, entering the kitchen and setting her in her highchair, so that she was ready to go. "Everyone already believes I belong to you rather than the other way around. No need to brand me."

"Okay, kid," he began, reaching for the jar of baby food. "You've mastered baby cereal. You don't have any objection to peas. Want to try it with a little sweet potato mixed in?"

Evie grinned broadly at him, waving her arms about as she babbled. House smiled and tapped her under the chin before reaching for the baby cereal he'd prepared, adding a little sweet potato to the mix and stirring it in. Satisfied, he dipped the spoon into it and then verified that the camera was at hand to get some pictures of the aftermath if this all went terribly wrong.

Evie's mouth opened in anticipation, having decided she liked food. House slipped the spoon inside, allowing her to suck the food off of it, watching her face for a reaction. He smiled when her eyes narrowed in suspicion, her lips smacking together once he'd removed the spoon. But when she broke out into a grin and reached for the bowl, he figured it was a success. Rifling her hair, he loaded up another spoonful and launched it into her mouth.

* * *

April 1st, 2011

Cuddy went into the paper copy personnel files the next day, tracking House's down pretty quickly. It was the file she'd had to mess with the most over the years of his employment. Pulling it out, she carried it into her office with her and flipped through it, looking for any change of address form someone might have filed while she was on maternity leave. Finding nothing, she sighed in disappointment, pursing her lips as she contemplated it. There should be a paper copy if the change had been made. Unless… unless House had somehow changed it himself so as not to leave a paper trail.

Cuddy sat back and considered that. House was too smart for his own good. It might not be likely, but it was _possible_. Narrowing her eyes, she expelled her breath and leaned forward to reach her keyboard. Pulling up the mainframe, she went through the many channels it would take just for _her _to get that kind of access. And she had all the updated passwords to everything, something House would not have.

It seemed more and more unlikely with each security step she had to take and each password she had to look up elsewhere and then type in. But when she reached his tax paperwork, there it was. A previously unknown address now within her reach. One that was most definitely _not anywhere near_ where his old apartment was and which had been changed according to the record on House's final day at PPTH. Cuddy stared at it, committing it to memory even though she knew she'd be writing it down. Kendall Park. That wasn't so far away. But there was no apartment number listed. And that was odd. Cuddy hoped it wouldn't be too hard to locate which one was his.

* * *

Evelyn was wracking her brain, trying to figure out how she was going to get out of the house tonight _with_ Rachel and yet _without_ raising Lisa's suspicions. It would be a lot easier to just ask. But if Lisa was _not _going to pursue House, she didn't want to risk getting a direct _no_. Rubbing her temple and the headache that was developing there, she tried to work through it. But when Lisa walked in the house at 1 p.m., she was no closer to a solution. Luckily, she didn't end up needing one.

"Mom, I was wondering if you would mind if I went out tonight?" Cuddy inquired fifteen minutes after she'd entered the house from where she sat in the living room, Rachel in her lap. "I was thinking I'd get some shopping done while I had you here to watch Rachel. Would you mind terribly?"

Evelyn was glad that she was in the middle of folding clothes and wasn't facing her daughter in that moment, convinced that the look of relief on her face would be obvious. "No honey! I don't mind at all!" Evelyn assured her, doing her best to temper her expression before she looked at Lisa.

Cuddy looked relieved herself. "Thanks mom," she replied. "It's so much easier to shop without a two year old running around the store."

Evelyn nodded in understanding. Thinking of when she'd have to leave to get to Greg's at 6, Evelyn admitted, "I already have dinner in the crockpot. I was thinking we could eat at 5. Would that work?"

Cuddy thought about it and nodded. If her mother already had dinner in the works, she might as well wait until afterwards to go. "That would be great," she acknowledged.

"Perfect," Evelyn responded, hiding her smile until she had the stack of towels ready to be put away and was halfway down the hallway, well out of sight.

* * *

Cuddy stepped out the door just shortly after 5:30. She walked calmly to her car and then climbed in, buckling up. She only felt a little guilty about lying to her mother. Too much of her mind was preoccupied with what she was about to do, worried that House wouldn't be home, worried that he would, on edge thinking that the baby would be there and she'd be confronted with all her failures, intimidated at the thought that this Erika woman might be there, hanging all over House, hoping that she wouldn't but then scared she'd show up before Cuddy even got a chance to talk to him. There was so much that could go wrong and so many ways this might not work. Cuddy didn't even know how to contemplate following through on this one. And yet, she was tired of waiting and the crushing weight on her shoulders every second that went by without seeing House again, knowing that he might very well be committing himself to this other woman with every passing moment, knowing that this Erika might be mothering her daughter in her place. Just the idea made her heart ache. She couldn't take it much longer. She just needed to know once and for all if she even stood a chance at gaining back some of what she'd lost.

Cuddy drove onward, following the directions as her GPS unit outlined them. She still wasn't sure just what she'd say when she arrived and every second that passed left her with a larger knot in her belly, but she hoped when she did get there, the right words would come. Right now, everything hung on a wish and a prayer.

* * *

Evelyn grabbed Rachel's jacket the minute Lisa was out the door. "Come on, Rachel! Let's go see daddy and your baby sister!" she called out, removing her own jacket from the closet, along with her purse.

"Daddy?!" Rachel exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down while clapping her hands.

"Yes, honey. Do you want to see daddy?" The question didn't even need asking. The answer was obvious.

Evelyn slipped Rachel's jacket on her and zipped it up, checking out the window to be sure Lisa's car was gone before scooping Rachel up and heading out the door, locking the door behind her.

It definitely made it easier that Rachel's car seat was in her car this week incase anything happened while Lisa was at work. Evelyn had her buckled in and was on the road three minutes later, pulling onto the highway she needed not long thereafter.

Remembering House's advice about taking the exit just before her normal route of choice, Evelyn took it and pulled into his driveway ten minutes later. The minute Rachel was out of her car seat, she went running for the front door, Evelyn laughing and running behind her so that she wouldn't get too far out of sight. She chuckled when Rachel awkwardly attempted a skip up the walkway, climbed the stairs, and then got up on her tippy toes to ring the doorbell, scooped up by House a moment later, the second he opened the door.

"You're just in time to feed your granddaughter," House informed her. "She's in her highchair, ready to go."

Evelyn smiled, pressed a kiss to his cheek, and then headed past him to enter the kitchen, hearing Rachel already asking House for a cookie from where she hung upside down in his arms as House closed the front door behind him with his foot.

* * *

Cuddy was so confused. She'd lost time due to construction but thanks to her GPS, that wasn't really all that big a deal. She had managed to find her way around it after a few tries. However, now here she was entering an upper-class residential area, not a single apartment complex in sight, and she was suddenly and irrationally concerned she'd copied down the wrong address. The only thing was, she'd double-checked it several times before logging out of the system. She had the right street. And the numbers were climbing in accordance with the address she'd written down. But this was _not at all_ anyplace she'd expect _House_ to live.

And then before her was a mailbox with the number she was looking for. Glancing up at the house, her foot slowly came down on the brake until she was stopped in the middle of the road, just staring at the house set back from the road. There was _no way_ she had the address right. It wasn't even _possible_. House would _never in a million years_ buy a place like this. It was a large Colonial style home and… charming and… accompanied with a wraparound porch with white trim. This was the _last _place House would choose. And yet, this was the address from the PPTH mainframe. She knew it was.

For several minutes there, she questioned if she might not be mistaken in assuming this was House's home. It made more sense to think this was… Erika's place and that he'd… moved in with her. But to enter the PPTH mainframe, House would have to have done it while inside the walls of PPTH on a PPTH computer. And records testified that he'd altered it his last day at PPTH. That would mean he was involved with this woman… before Cuddy had even given birth to their child. Cuddy, while knowing that House had moved in with Stacy very quickly after they started dating, had a hard time conceiving that he could have moved on from her… that quickly. Her heart ached just at the idea. This _had _to be House's place. She couldn't accept the alternative.

Biting her lip, she took her foot off the brake and slowly crept past the house. Even though she knew she wouldn't recognize House's car, even if it was parked in the driveway, she still looked for one. And the car jerked to an immediate halt, recognizing very well the car parked there.

Cuddy huffed out a breath in disbelief and anger. She'd _kill_ her mother.

* * *

House shook his head wryly from where he stood against the counter next to Rachel, who was sitting on top of the island, munching away on an Oreo. His eyes were actually on Evie though, who Evelyn was cooing at and fussing over, _despite _the fact that Evie had caught her grandma by surprise and managed to get her fist in the bowl of baby food, splattering it all over the two of them.

Rolling his eyes, he returned his attention to Rachel, who was just finishing off her cookie.

"Anudder one?" she inquired hopefully, her head tilted down and tucked into her shoulder rather adorably, her eyelashes batting at him.

House stared at her, trying to resist the pull to give her another one just because she was asking him to.

"_Please, daddy?_" she said sweetly, her mouth edged with black cookie crumbs.

House sighed but she'd won and they both knew it. Reaching for another cookie from the package he'd left out, House handed her one before popping another in his own mouth.

"They are good, aren't they?" he inquired, despite having his mouth full.

Rachel nodded in agreement, licking at the creamy center between the two chocolate cookie pieces as she clutched the cookie in her small fingers.

Turning back to the fridge, he opened the door and pulled out the carton of milk, pouring both of them some. He handed Rachel her sippy cup and then tapped his glass against hers. "Cheers, Rach," he commented before lifting the cup to his lips and guzzling it.

"Cheer, daddy," she immediately echoed, taking a small sip before shoving the cookie into her mouth.

"Georgia's going to need a bath by the time we're done here," Evelyn declared, looking back at Greg with a smile.

"Knock yourself out," he replied, noting the mess of sweet potatoes and cereal caked on Evie's fingers which even now she had buried in her hair. "She's due for one anyway."

Reaching for Rachel, he lifted her down off the counter and then headed for the bathroom to grab a washcloth, towel, baby shampoo, and Evie's baby robe before stopping in her room for a clean diaper and her comb. Returning to the kitchen, he set her things on the counter and then cleaned the sink, putting the few dishes he had within into the dishwasher before scrubbing it down.

Evelyn smiled, shaking her head. "You bathe her in the kitchen sink?"

"Not usually," he admitted. "But now that she's sitting upright on her own, it works. And I'm less likely to get food goop all over the house not to mention myself, if I strip her down where she's at. I did this when I gave her peas for the first time. _That_ was a nightmare. Even if she did like them."

"Anudder cookie?" Rachel asked, tugging on House's pant leg and giving him the look that had worked for her the last time.

"Two's enough Rachel," Evelyn spoke up before House could answer her.

Rachel ignored her grandma and tugged on his pant leg again, adding a pout this time. House groaned and glanced up at Evelyn.

"Two's enough, Greg," she informed him dryly, her chin tilted down as she gave him the famous Cuddy evil eye.

House breathed out through his nose but then returned his gaze to Rachel and said, "Sorry kid. Guess you're out of luck."

Rachel looked down at the floor and House shot a look at Evelyn, afraid the waterworks were about to start.

Evelyn just looked from her granddaughter to Greg and then back again.

Rachel sniffed loudly and House groaned.

"Grandma Cuddles is going to give Evie a bath," he quickly murmured to her, reaching down to tug lightly on a lock of her hair. "How about I fill the sink for grandma and then you and I go play piano?" he suggested, the idea the only thing forthcoming to him.

Rachel's head came up, her eyes shining excitedly. "Okay," she exclaimed.

"Crisis averted," House muttered through his teeth in relief, reaching down to lift her up before turning to the sink, filling it partway with water, and checking the temperature before carrying Rachel into the living room to have a seat at the piano with her.

* * *

Cuddy was sitting in the living room, sipping a mug of tea and facing the entryway when her mother and Rachel entered the house two hours later.

"Rachel, wait a minute. Grandma needs your coat," she heard her mother say.

"Want to go get my baby G and feed her a bottle like daddy feed his baby G," Rachel informed her grumpily, not appreciating having to wait.

"You can go feed baby G in a minute," Evelyn replied, eyeing her granddaughter as she bent to unzip her coat. "You, young lady, are very tired. It's time to get you in your pajamas. Maybe mama will be home in time to kiss you goodnight."

Rachel ran past thirty seconds later, headed for her room to grab her baby doll, not even spotting her mother where she sat in the glow of the only lamp lit in the house.

Evelyn hit the light switch for the hallway so that Rachel could see where she was going, removing her own jacket and hanging it up a minute later before shutting the front entryway closet and heading towards Rachel's room to get her pajamas.

Cuddy cleared her throat loudly before her mother could pass, causing Evelyn to startle and come to a sudden stop, her eyes squinting closed before she turned slowly in her daughter's direction. "You're home," she murmured in surprise. "I… didn't see your car in the driveway."

"It's in the garage," Cuddy acknowledged, assessing the look of guilt on her mother's face before Evelyn succeeded in wiping it clean.

"Where did you guys go?" Cuddy asked then, an eyebrow raised as she held her mug in two hands, six inches out in front of her face.

Evelyn bit her lip, searching for an answer that would work and trying to remember exactly what had been said moments before during the conversation between her and Rachel in the entryway.

"Don't even bother lying," Cuddy said then, setting her mug down to cross her arms over her chest.

But rather than unnerving Evelyn, Cuddy's attitude caused the opposite reaction, her backbone coming up and her chin lifting into the air in defiance. "I'm not going to keep Rachel from him," she stated evenly. "If you're going to keep him from being involved in her life, you'll have to forbid me from seeing her too."

Cuddy stared at her mother in surprise, her irritation completely fading away. "I won't keep Rachel from him," she murmured, her voice softer now. "If House wants to spend time with her, I have no desire to come between them. But you could have let me know."

"I… I'm sorry. I didn't… think you'd…" Evelyn began.

"You didn't think I'd allow it?" Cuddy filled in, looking at her mother questioningly.

Evelyn nodded. "You haven't said anything since Sunday about what your intentions are regarding House and… the baby," she interposed hesitantly, smoothing her hands down her thighs before heading for the couch nearby.

Rachel came running in right then with her baby doll. "Hi mama!" she exclaimed, throwing herself at the couch next to Cuddy's legs and trying to pull herself up without losing her grip on her baby doll.

Cuddy reached for her, lifting her up to press a kiss to Rachel's nose.

Rachel kneeled on the couch next to her and quite pleased with her news, confidentially informed her, "Daddy play piano with me. I learning Itsy Bitsy Spider," she added in a singsong voice, attempting to do the hand motions and sing it, even though it was obvious she didn't quite have the words down yet.

Cuddy's throat clogged with emotion, her eyes closing involuntarily, just picturing House sitting at the piano with Rachel in his lap, his hands guiding hers to hit the correct notes to a children's tune. She loved him. There was _no_ _way_ she couldn't love him. Not considering the way her heart swelled just at the image Rachel's words painted for her.

She didn't even realize tears were spilling down her cheeks until Rachel spoke up.

"Don't cry, mama," Rachel whispered then, patting her cheek in comfort and causing Cuddy to open her eyes to meet her daughter's concerned stare, wiping the tears away with a finger. "Daddy say I good. He say I quick learning."

"He said you're a quick _learner_," Evelyn corrected automatically, watching her daughter and granddaughter closely.

Rachel just nodded in agreement, still patting Cuddy's cheek.

Inhaling shakily, Cuddy smiled and replied, "I bet you are," before drawing Rachel into an embrace, holding her close until she squirmed in silent protest. Releasing her, Cuddy reached out a hand and brushed her daughter's hair back, away from her face before helping her down and off the couch, Rachel leaving her baby behind to run back to her room.

Cuddy picked the doll up and held her in her lap, staring at her a moment. "What does G stand for?" she quietly asked her mother, not looking up.

Evelyn twitched her mouth to the side, remembering that Rachel had referred to her sister as daddy's baby G. That was undoubtedly where the question sprung from. She sighed but said, "I'd rather let Greg answer that."

Cuddy met her gaze then but nodded in acceptance.

"What are you going to do?" Evelyn asked her pointedly.

Cuddy breathed out a small chuckle, shaking her head. "Let's just say I know where you went tonight and _not_ because of the conversation between you and Rachel when you came in."

Evelyn looked taken aback but leaning forward a few seconds later, she clarified, "You went to Greg's tonight?! You said you were going shopping."

Cuddy's head fell back on the cushion behind her and she expelled her breath in exasperation. "I… lied. I just… thought it would be best if I went to talk with him first before talking with anyone else about it."

Evelyn's eyebrows rose and finally she managed to say, "I'm sorry. If I had known that, I wouldn't have gone."

Cuddy brought her head back up to look at her mother but shrugged. "Do you… think he'll be home tomorrow?" she asked.

"I… don't know," Evelyn replied. "I would assume so. He didn't say anything about having plans."

Rachel came back into the room with a baby bottle and Cuddy lifted her back up onto the couch, settling her beside her and placing the mysteriously named baby G into her lap, watching as her daughter placed the bottle in the doll's mouth.

"Drink baby G," Rachel soberly instructed the doll. "You thirsty."

Cuddy smiled at her daughter tenderly and then glanced back at her mother before reaching for her mug to take another sip of tea. Strangely enough, she had assumed that when her mother and Rachel had visited House in the past, it had been at his apartment. But upon learning House had moved, it hadn't occurred to her that her mother would know where he lived. She should have thought of that. But if her mother knew that, she also had to know whether House lived alone or whether there was a woman living with him. Last Sunday her mother had been careful to not give her false hope. Was that because her mother now knew there was a woman involved since the last time Cuddy had brought it up, at the end of January? She debated whether or not to ask. Surely her mother would come right out and tell her if she knew House was seeing someone, wouldn't she?

Biting her lip, she looked at her mother and asked, "Does… House live alone?"

Suddenly remembering Lisa's comment from months ago that she'd seen House with a woman at PPTH, Evelyn knew what her daughter was asking. Obviously he didn't live alone because Georgia lived there as well, but that wasn't who Lisa was thinking about. Pursing her lips, she contemplated the question and whether or not that was for her to answer. But this was her daughter after all and Lisa could use a little reassurance to give her the courage she needed to approach him. What was she going to say except the truth as she knew it?

"If Greg is seeing someone, I don't know about it," she replied honestly. "And as for living alone, yes. It's just Greg and the baby."

Cuddy sighed in relief, grateful to know that much. "Thank you," she murmured in acknowledgement of having received an answer.

Evelyn nodded. "I am more than willing to watch Rachel tomorrow so that you can go to him," she said then.

Cuddy gave her a small smile. "I appreciate that mom. Thanks."

Pushing herself up to her feet, Evelyn said, "Come on Rachel. You are up past your bedtime and it's time to get some pajamas on you before you fall over dead to the world."

Cuddy helped her daughter down and then got up herself, carrying Rachel's baby back to her bedroom for her while Evelyn lifted Rachel onto the changing table to put a pull-up on her for the night, taking the pajamas Cuddy extended to her a minute later. When Rachel was ready for bed, Cuddy took her and headed for the bathroom with her to help her brush her teeth, encouraging her to sit on the little potty as both she and her mom had spent the last week trying to begin potty training her. Rachel surprisingly had an easier time going all night without wetting her diaper than she did going all day, but Cuddy suspected that Rachel just didn't care to stop playing long enough to let someone know she needed the bathroom. As long as they reminded her, accidents were few, convincing Cuddy that Rachel was indeed ready for this.

Evelyn kissed Rachel goodnight and then Cuddy sat down with her in the chair in her room to read her a story. They weren't halfway through when Rachel fell asleep. Setting the book aside, Cuddy smiled before carefully carrying her daughter over to her bed and placing her within it. Cuddy kissed her brow and then tucked the blankets securely around her before getting to her feet, heading for the door and turning off the light a moment later.

* * *

April 2nd, 2011

Cuddy didn't sleep very well, which she attributed to the added anxiety an extra day of putting off the inevitable placed upon her, her mind having spent half the night whirling with all that tomorrow might bring and the thousand and one ways in which House might react to her news, even if in the end there were only two possibilities; either he'd let her be involved or… he wouldn't. Somehow admitting her intentions to her mother had made it all the more real and that much scarier, because now she would no longer be the only one to know if House rejected her completely and told her to take a flying leap.

Cuddy showered, sat with Rachel and her mother while they had breakfast, too queasy to eat herself, and then left the house at 9 a.m., driving straight to House's place, the knot in her belly increasing the closer she got. There were no guarantees. There was nothing to even reassure herself with. If House… decided she couldn't be involved, what could she do? But if he decided she could… a whole world of possibility would open to her. And _that_ world of possibility was what forced her to drive onward, not giving in to the oppressive weight on her chest reminding her that she didn't _deserve_ a second chance.

Reality was, she didn't _want_ to have to live another day _without House_ and _without their child in her life_, if she didn't absolutely _have_ to. This last week had been difficult, okay, extremely painful and devastating in a number of ways. But it was nowhere near as hopeless and futile as the weeks and months preceding it, when she'd done everything she could to fight realizing that life just wasn't as fulfilling without House present and now, with the knowledge and acceptance of just how much she was missing out on and how very much she wanted to be involved in their daughter's life. So she was screwed up. That would come as no surprise to House. He now knew that better than anyone. And at least she was willing to admit it. Anyway, who would be more likely to hear her out than he was, someone… _screwed up_ in his _own_ right?

Cuddy parked in his driveway, turning the engine off before closing her eyes and drawing a shaky breath. It was now or never. What did she really have to lose? Okay… _everything_! But then, there were no gains without risks taken. Pushing open her car door, she slowly climbed out of her car and made her way up the porch to the door, her heart hammering in her chest both in dread and anticipation. It was now or never. Raising her hand, she bypassed the doorbell and knocked instead.

-----

"_**Guess this means you're sorry  
You're standing at my door  
Guess this means you take back  
All you said before  
Like how much you wanted  
Anyone but me  
Said you'd never come back  
But here you are again **_

**_'Cause we belong together now, yeah  
Forever united here somehow, yeah  
You got a piece of me  
And honestly  
My life would suck without you_**

**_Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye  
Maybe I was wrong for trying to pick a fight  
I know that I've got issues  
But you're pretty messed up too  
Either way I found out  
I'm nothing without you_**

**_Because we belong together now, yeah  
Forever united here somehow, yeah  
You got a piece of me  
And honestly  
My life would suck without you_**

**_Being with you is so dysfunctional  
I really shouldn't miss you  
But I can't let you go  
Oh Yeah_**

**_Because we belong together now, yeah  
Forever united here somehow, yeah  
You got a piece of me  
And honestly  
My life would suck without you"_**

* * *

Song: "My Life Would Suck Without You" (Kelly Clarkson)


	63. Thank You For Saving My Life

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Two chapters. I'm so nice.)_

* * *

House was leaning back against the doorframe of Evie's room, arms crossed over his chest, watching the baby nap in her crib through the slats. On those days when his thoughts lingered a little too long on the past and bitter reminders of his failures threatened to choke him, he had found that this, this act of watching her little chest rise and fall gently with each breath, was one of the most calming and soothing balms for his spirit that he would ever find. Each day he marveled at this little creature who had so completely stolen his heart. He loved her wholly and completely, he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt. House had never thought he was capable of feeling this much. The love and emotions he felt for her could not be rivaled by anything he felt for anyone else. In fact, they far outshined anything he'd ever felt for anyone. She was perfect. And she was his. He had come to recognize that it was an enormous responsibility.

In so many ways, a baby was a piece of cake. She couldn't really go anywhere, couldn't talk back, couldn't do a lot of things that two years from now would have him ready to pull his hair out. Okay, she could be a lot of work and certainly, keeping up with the laundry and dishes and baby bottles challenged him to the point he thought seriously about increasing his cleaning lady's rotation to twice a week, but really, for the most part all that was required was that he feed her, change her, bathe her, hold her, and provide for her needs. Piece of cake.

But he now knew from personal experience that it wasn't as easy as that. His life had changed. Really, it had begun its transformation before she came along. And when it came to Evie, it hadn't changed in a bad way necessarily; just in a different way. He was not only responsible for himself now. He simply couldn't do the things he had done before, couldn't live recklessly, couldn't focus on his needs and his wants. He had Evie to think of. If she had a mother, he suspected he would probably never bother thinking about the things that he now found himself wrestling with. That worry and concern would be her problem. Women always worried excessively like that over every little thing concerning their kids. Men, not so much. But he was a single dad and somehow, instead of raising her with a carefree manner like he would have expected he would, whenever the idea of suddenly having fatherhood thrust upon him by mistake had crossed his mind through all those years of hookers, and never seeing why he would have to change if he had children anyway, because why should he have to change for someone else; he now found his whole viewpoint drastically different. He was a dad now, and a dad who loved his daughter more than anything and wanted to be able to promise her things that she deserved, even that which he had no control over. He had to trouble himself with considering daycare and caregivers and someday, her future schooling. He felt accountable to her to pick out the correct stupid baby formula. He had to think about nutrition and doctor appointments and what stages she should be at in her development; even what lay just around the corner. He had to make sure the house was baby-proof. Okay, that, he'd made Cameron do. But he had to make sure windows and doors were locked at night to keep her safe. And he had to continue the efforts that he had been forced to begin in Mayfield, in order to ensure he would be around for her in the future. There would be no falling back on Vicodin, he was still steering clear of alcohol, and he'd learned to ask for help more than he'd ever allowed himself to in the past.

All of these life changes and new concerns were just scraping the top of the barrel. There were far more complex and involved issues ahead for them. For instance, the truth remained that someday Evie would reach an age where she would realize that other children had both a dad _and_ a mom. How would he explain Cuddy's absence in her life in a way that a child might grasp and yet not leave her needlessly broken by her mother's rejection? How would he explain Rachel to Evie and how her mommy could choose her other child and not her? Would he… be enough for her? Would Wilson, Cameron, Erika and who knew who else, help meet her needs and be there in the long run? What role would her grandparents play in her life? It was enough to make his head spin.

And then there were other questions, dealing with the world at large. How would he explain the world around her and yet maintain her innocence as long as possible? He would never be the sort to convince himself that he could maintain her naiveté forever. He knew alcohol and drugs and sex loomed in the future, thankfully not the immediate future, and that one day he would have to discuss those topics with her, when he'd really just rather tell her to go to her room and then lock her in there as long as possible to keep her safe. But no one could be kept separate from the world forever. And when the day came when those subjects rose up in conversation between them, how would he explain his own past to her? He wanted to be honest with his kid. He wanted to always have her trust and for her to believe he wasn't lying to her. But everyone lied, and therefore, he knew he would be no exception. He knew today what he'd known from the day he carried her out of the hospital and began their life together; he didn't want to mess this up. He'd do anything he could to try his best not to mess up. But he was kind of known for messing up and it was an inescapable reality of life that the day would come when she would look at him not as her indestructible hero or even dad of the year, but as someone who was messed up in his own right, someone who would disappoint her and fail her too at times.

House shook his head to clear his thoughts, frustrated with himself for becoming melancholy and being so very unlike the old House he had once been, or at least the man who had suppressed any doubts and troubling thoughts in an attempt aimed at self-preservation. He grimaced at the feeling that he was turning into a woman where Evie was concerned. He needed to get a babysitter and go out and do guy things before he lost his edge completely.

A knock sounded on the front door then and House straightened, stepping out of the room and pulling the door towards him so that it was almost closed, leaving just a crack so that he'd be able to look in on Evie if the need arose without potentially waking her. He knew she would sleep at least another hour if he managed to keep things quiet. Usually he didn't even have to think about that, for she usually slept like a rock and he could blast music in the living room and she wouldn't so much as twitch, but she had another tooth coming in and had woken up at four in the morning, cranky and with a slight temperature. He wasn't taking any chances.

He limped down the hall and towards the door, expecting Wilson. He didn't know why Wilson would knock instead of just using his key, but maybe he'd misplaced it or had his arms full. Wilson typically came by on Saturdays to hang out and play uncle. House couldn't deny that it was nice to have his company. He really missed working just down the hall from Wilson and dropping in every time he felt like it. But when House turned the lock and pulled the door open, it wasn't Wilson standing there.

He froze, staring at her in surprise. "Cuddy?" he finally voiced uncertainly, unsure as to what he was going to do and how to respond to her unexpected encroachment on his territory.

"Hey," she replied, her voice soft and her eyes reflecting how nervous she was to be there. She glanced down at her feet before timidly meeting his gaze again. "Do you think I could come in?"

He frowned, watching her with skepticism clearly written in his expression. "No," he said at last. "No, I don't think that would be a good idea." His voice was even and without a hint of emotion, perfectly masking the clenching in his gut. He hadn't seen her in a while but the first thing on his mind was not the trip home from Georgia but how she'd gone back to PPTH telling them that the baby had been stillborn. It still rankled, especially knowing that his daughter was just down the hallway.

Cuddy hadn't expected it would go down like this but she found herself nodding regretfully and turned to go, stepping off his porch and onto the steps leading down to the front walk.

"Cuddy," he called out then in a gravelly voice, unable to watch her just walk away. "Why did you come here?"

She paused and turned back to him, tears in her eyes. "I'm… sorry, House. I didn't mean to bother you. I just… Well, I knew you had moved and so I found your new address in the system because it was where your tax information was mailed and I wanted… I wanted to see if we could talk. I probably should have called instead. But I don't have your number and… I'm not sure Wilson would have given it to me if I asked."

House didn't know what to say. Wilson might have told him Cuddy had asked for his number, but he certainly wouldn't have given it to her outright. Cuddy's mom had his number of course, but she probably hadn't thought of that. Or if she had, she just hadn't wanted to ask. He sighed, not sure if he would have wanted to speak to her even had she called. "He would have passed on the message that you wanted to speak with me," he muttered anyway.

She nodded, knowing that he was probably right, even if that hadn't been the approach she wanted to take. "I'm sorry for bothering you, House. I'll leave now. If you decide you are open to speaking with me, you know where I am and how to get in touch."

She turned to go and he almost let her leave but his puzzlement got the better of him and he gruffly inquired, "What did you want to talk about?"

Cuddy didn't know if she could do this anymore. She wanted to, she wanted to desperately, but she felt like she'd already messed up by approaching this the wrong way and it would probably be better to go home and wait, giving House a few days to consider if he wanted to talk to her. At length she mumbled, "I just…I have a lot to say to you."

House scrutinized her for a moment and then nodded, recognizing he wasn't going to get anything more out of Cuddy until he decided one way or the other whether he really wanted to hear what she had to say. She turned and made her way back to her car and he watched her in silence. Just as she opened her car door, he called out, "Cuddy!"

She looked back at him.

"Wait. Let me call someone to babysit." When she shut her car door without climbing in and nodded her agreement, he turned and went back into the house, closing the door behind him. Erika was gone with Trevor at a chess tournament he'd had to miss out on because Evie wasn't feeling well, so he reached for the telephone and dialed Wilson's number. But House hung up when he didn't answer, figuring he'd probably gone to the chess tournament too. He thought for a moment and then punched in Cameron's number, waiting as it rang. Why couldn't he just let it go?! Why couldn't he _just let Cuddy go_ and _pretend she'd never shown up?!_

"This is Allison," she said cheerfully when she picked up.

"Cameron, it's House. Any chance you are available to come over? Evie's sleeping and I have to leave for a couple hours," he asked, not sure whether to divulge why he needed to go.

But Cameron was all too happy to come over and spend some time with the baby. Chase had been called in for an emergency surgery and she knew he wouldn't care if she chose to pass the time watching Evie. Chase was really good about that, always teasing her that she was just trying to get practice in for when their own child was born. "Yeah, I'll be over in fifteen minutes," she immediately responded.

"Thanks, Cameron," he gratefully replied. "I really appreciate it."

He hung up without saying goodbye and headed back to the door. Cuddy was sitting on his front steps, her eyes on the street, lost in thought. "Fifteen minutes," House told her before turning and heading back into the house to lay out formula for Cameron in case Evie woke up during his absence. He went to the back hallway and stepped into the garage, grabbing the spare car seat he kept on hand just in case someone else needed it. Setting it in the front hallway for Cameron, he went back in the kitchen and pulled out a jar of baby food, a bowl, a spoon, and the box of baby cereal, readying it for when Evie woke up hungry. He remembered that he had to let Cameron know she was teething and he limped down to the bathroom to remove the children's Tylenol from the cabinet.

* * *

Cuddy sat on the steps, waiting, wondering what she would say to House when they were finally alone and he gave her opportunity to speak. It was pointless to try and plan out a conversation, because conversations never went the way you planned for them too, but she did it regardless because that was what she did and because this conversation would make or break… something. Her, she supposed.

Fifteen minutes later a car came down the street and parked in front of House's home. Cuddy watched in shock as a very pregnant Cameron climbed out. From the look on her face she was equally as surprised to see Cuddy there.

* * *

Cameron got out of her vehicle and headed for the house, using her key fob to lock the car doors. She had already spotted Cuddy and she was honestly speechless, caught off guard at her presence. It dawned on her then that House hadn't said why he needed to leave. _This_ was obviously _why_. As far as Cameron was aware, House hadn't seen Cuddy in quite some time. She hadn't seen her in a while either. Cameron knew her relationship with Cuddy had morphed in the last year, then severed, her heart aching for House and what he was going through, her feelings cooling until she was indifferent to Cuddy and then bitter, instead of respectful or friendly. They hardly ever ran into one another, especially now that Cameron didn't work at PPTH. Uncertain as to how to go about this, she walked up to the porch, nodded to her ex-boss, and then stepped around her, not bothering to knock but just opening the door and walking in, shutting it firmly behind her.

She could hear House moving around in the kitchen and headed in that direction. He looked up and towards the dining room when he heard the front door open and shut.

"She still there?" he asked when Cameron came into view, his expression controlled.

"Yes," Cameron answered, frowning as she contemplated the situation.

House looked away from her, not wanting to witness her scrutinizing him and his decision-making capabilities. "Evie's lunch is right here, ready and waiting for you. I prepared a bottle and it's in the fridge. You just have to heat it up for her when she wakes up. The formula is on the counter and the bottles in the cabinet if you need more. I really don't plan on being gone more than a couple of hours. Maybe not even that." House glanced up to meet her gaze but continued, not wanting to give her a chance to speak just yet. "She's teething so she woke up crabby this morning. You might want to keep it down so that she sleeps as long as possible. Just warning you. She doesn't sleep as deeply when she's teething. And I set out the Tylenol in case she still has a temperature when she wakes up though it felt like it had gone down when I last checked."

Cameron nodded briefly but then opened her mouth to speak.

House saw this and intercepted the moment. "I know what you are thinking, Cameron."

"_Do_ _you,_ _House?_" she asked concernedly. "Because I'm not sure what _you_ are thinking."

"She came here, Cameron. I didn't go there," he replied, his tone stern.

She sighed deeply, her expression softening. "House, I understand that, but… Why? _Why_ did she come? And why _now?_"

He shrugged because he didn't have the answers for those questions. "I guess that's what I'm going to find out," he finally muttered.

Cameron approached him then, stopping a couple feet in front of him, her arms coming up to cross over her chest, resting just above her rapidly expanding belly. "I just… _PLEASE_ be careful, House. I don't mean for Cuddy's sake. I mean for _your_ sake. I… I've watched you this last year and a half. Cuddy's hurt you _so_ much. I… I didn't think I could stand to witness any more. But then she had the baby and for the most part, ceased being a part of your life. You've broken free from all that now. Evie's six months old already. I just… I don't want to see you get hurt any more than you already have been. I can't stand around and watch you suffer again." She looked at him, her eyes pleading with him to understand where her heart was at in this. "_Please?_ Promise me that you will be careful here? If not for your sake, for Evie's?"

House gave Cameron a half-smile, reaching a hand up to rest it on her shoulder in awkward affection. She, Wilson, and Erika had been the best friends he could have asked for over the last months. He understood where Cameron was coming from in this. And she was right in so many ways. Things between him and Cuddy had become so all-encompassing. The end, well… the whole thing had been downright messy. But he had moved on and right now, life was pretty good. He was no more sure than Cameron was of the ramifications of Cuddy's presence today. And while he knew from the moment he had opened his door and found Cuddy there that his feelings hadn't changed, in that he still loved her more than he'd ever loved another woman, he _knew_ he was not eager to make any of the same mistakes with her, _nor willing _to risk his heart again. He just didn't see that happening. He didn't think it would be wise for him to do so and he was even more cautious because of how it might affect Evie in the end.

"Thank you," he gruffly mumbled. "For being concerned and for… being my friend all these months; for always being here when I or Evie have needed you. Trust me when I say I have no intention of stepping back into that pit. But I think I _need_ to do this. I need to at least give her an opportunity to speak her mind. We both know she hasn't had an easy time of it either. And if she needs closure to move on, then I feel responsible to give her that, to the best of my ability. She's… still Evie's mother."

Cameron nodded and House dropped his hand. "I left the spare car seat in the hall for you in case you have an emergency or need to go somewhere. Her diaper bag is there too. And I'll have my phone on me if you need me for anything." He turned to go and took a few steps away before turning back to her. He paused a moment and then limped back until he was at her side. Then he did something he never did. He leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek. "I really am lucky to have your friendship, Cameron," he murmured despite the awkwardness of it. Then he turned and walked out of her sight and down the hall, opening the door and stepping out. Cameron worried her lower lip between her teeth but then the doctor in her turned and headed for Evie's room to peek in on her and feel her forehead.

* * *

Cuddy got to her feet when House stepped out, waiting while he locked the door behind him and then turned to her. He motioned for her to go down the steps and so she did, pausing briefly to await him as he followed, her arms crossing involuntarily over her chest.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked her, his tone neutral. "Do you want to grab some coffee?"

Cuddy looked up at him and briefly searched his eyes, thinking. "Do you think we could go to the park across from the hospital and sit at one of those picnic tables by the lake?"

He nodded because it was an easy enough location to find, one both of them knew, and thought a moment before saying, "You go ahead and take your car. I will meet you there. I could use a coffee."

"You could ride with me," she offered, searching the depths of his blue eyes, trying to determine what he was thinking or feeling right now. "We can stop on the way and grab coffee at Starbucks."

"No, I will meet you there," he told her, not wanting to find himself trapped in a car alone with her in case things went poorly and he had to get away. Besides, he told himself, I'll need my car if anything happens with Evie.

She seemed to read his thoughts and her expression revealed that his decision troubled her, but she nodded her acceptance of how things had to be for him to meet with her. "I will see you there," she finally murmured, her eyes sad before they dropped to the ground.

Cuddy walked to her car and climbed in, starting the engine before pulling out of the driveway. House watched her drive off down the street and then pressed the garage door opener to get to his car, hoping the noise of the door lifting wouldn't disturb his sleeping daughter. He limped inside and got into his car, pulling out and waiting for the garage door to close before he glanced back at the house, his thoughts on Evie and if he was risking her well-being in going with Cuddy or giving her a greater shot at growing up with less scars than she might otherwise. After a moment he pulled out of the driveway and made his way to Plainsboro, stopping at Starbucks for a couple coffees along the way, grateful for the drive and some thinking time.

* * *

Cuddy parked and then walked the path to the picnic tables. It was April but it was early in the day and there was a slight chill in the air as they'd had an unexpected cold front come in. There were a few joggers on the path but otherwise the park was deserted. She sank down on the picnic bench, staring out at the lake, her thoughts on House and the times they'd met up here before when he'd snuck out of the hospital and she'd come looking for him. She wondered if it was a good sign that he'd agreed to a spot that held a history of their meeting here or if it meant nothing at all, other than that it was a spot they both knew.

She thought of how he had opted to call Cameron and have her watch the baby for a while so that he could leave with her. It made her uneasy, but then she had no right to feel uneasy. She wished he had felt comfortable enough to invite her into his house and sit down with her in the living room but she knew why he had not. And she couldn't blame him for that. He had every right to guard his privacy and to refuse her the opportunity to be around the daughter she had rejected from the moment she had known of her pregnancy. He had no reason to believe she wanted to be around her anyway. She hadn't revealed any of her thoughts to him yet.

Cameron, she thought then. Cameron is the one he called. She thought over House's history with Cameron, her chest twinging when she remembered how Cameron had loved him once and how they'd even gone out on a date together, a date she'd encouraged and… told him how to dress for. While Cameron was married now and obviously pregnant with Chase's baby, Cuddy couldn't help but worry that the other woman might still have feelings for House. After all, despite House's departure from PPTH, she was still somehow involved in his life. Then there was the fact that House obviously trusted Cameron enough to call on her today instead of someone else. Could he have feelings for her? She scowled her displeasure at the thought.

Cuddy's own relationship with Cameron had become strained to the point where they avoided each other at every turn while at the hospital, only meeting up by accident or when there was no other option available to them, until Cuddy had returned to the hospital to find Cameron had given her notice. Now she sometimes stopped by to visit people or see Chase, but she never came anywhere near Cuddy. Cuddy knew it was because of the situation with House. That had been clear from the start. At first, she hadn't cared. She had been too angry and too embittered with the state she had found herself in. But every once in a while Cuddy had genuinely missed her. They had never truly been friends but part of her had wanted that. Cuddy was not a woman who spent much time on developing relationships. She had virtually no female friends and if she was honest with herself, her only real friends in years had been Wilson and House, both of whom she had lost. She and Cameron had just worked together and shared an affinity due to House and his ways. Cuddy thought too that once upon a time she had held Cameron's respect, both for her position in the hospital and on a personal level, for who she was as a woman. But she knew those days were long gone. Cameron had always had a soft spot for House. It was not only understandable that she would choose his friendship over Cuddy's any day; it was as it should be. But was it just friendship, she wondered again. And just how involved was she in House's life? How involved was she in her daughter's life? She suppressed a pang of guilt for her own failings and for the fact that, if it was anyone's fault that Cameron was the one in her daughter's life rather than herself, it was hers. She didn't want to be a wreck when House arrived, if he was even still coming, so she fought valiantly to keep the tears at bay. Cuddy didn't know how he'd handle it if she fell apart on him.

She glanced up and watched as an unfamiliar car parked next to hers and House got out a moment later.

House set the coffee tray on the roof of the car, shutting the door before he picked it back up and tried to balance it one-handed as he limped in Cuddy's direction. She was watching him and he wondered briefly what she was thinking but then reminded himself that he had promised himself on the drive over that he wouldn't make this easy for her and wouldn't allow himself to feel things he shouldn't. He didn't know what she wanted but he knew he had trained her throughout the months of her pregnancy to think he would give in to her wishes. He couldn't afford to let her continue to expect that. It wouldn't be right for any of them.

House finally set the tray down on the picnic table, passing her a coffee before climbing up to sit on the tabletop a little ways away from her. It kind of sucked that he knew how she took her coffee. He despised the intimacy of that for some reason. He reached for his own coffee, prying it loose and taking a sip, his eyes on the lake. Cuddy was watching him but then she turned her head and focused on the lake as well, sipping from her own coffee.

"Thank you for this," she said softly. He wasn't sure if she meant the coffee or for coming, but he nodded slightly anyway, remaining silent and waiting her out.

He watched her out of the corner of his eye as she struggled to find the words. He was a little impatient because he really had no idea how to handle this. "Cuddy, just spit it out," he finally said, his voice somewhat rough.

She cleared her throat a couple times and finally nodded to indicate that she'd try to comply. "I want to thank you," she began, her voice tremulous.

House was surprised by this turn of events. THIS he had NOT expected. He set down his coffee on the table behind him and shifted his position so that he was facing Cuddy, allowing him to better analyze her. "For what?" he finally asked, confusion evident on his face.

Needing to make physical contact with him, she reached for his hand that rested upon his knee and gave it a brief squeeze, releasing it before he got over his surprise at that move and could pull away, returning her own to her lap. She turned to him then as the tears started to course down her cheeks. "I need to thank you."

She paused and gave him a wavering smile, her eyes shining with the tears still pooling in them. "House, thank you for saving my life."

House stared at her. Other women might use tears to manipulate, but Cuddy never had with him before. Other women might use their words to control, and maybe there were times in the past when Cuddy had, but he'd always been able to detect that and frankly, she had never tried to maneuver him with her words during their fallout. Not persuasively. She had funneled her anger to wound him and the situation to use him, but she had _never_ chosen her words artfully in an effort to _influence him _for whatever it was she wanted. This was in her favor. He believed her to be genuine. But House was clueless as to what she meant.

"Explain," he demanded coolly.

"You've saved my life," she answered after a moment, her voice breaking with emotion. "I realize that now. You… Well, I don't think I would have survived if you hadn't been there for me; if you hadn't stepped in when I needed you to; if you hadn't decided to call my mom in when I… was teetering on the edge of giving up completely. If you hadn't, I don't imagine I'd be here. In fact, I know I wouldn't have. So… thank you. I didn't _deserve_ it. But you did it _anyway_. And for that I will forever be grateful."

-----

"_**You found me at the bottom of a bottle  
Drownin' in the depths of my sorrow  
A stranger gone too far to forgive  
Dying with no will to live**_

_**Then you held me so close to your heart  
And you told me it's gonna be alright**_

_**You're the reason that I'm still alive  
These are more than just words that I write  
This is love that we're making  
There ain't no mistaking  
For you I've been waiting  
Thank you for saving my life**_

_**You came to me, put your hand in my hand  
Salvation from my demons within  
Escape from a definite end  
When like you said I could win**_

_**Then you showed me what life should be like  
Cause I have you right here by my side**_

_**You're the reason that I'm still alive  
These are more than just words that I write  
This is love that we're making  
There ain't no mistaking  
For you I've been waiting  
Thank you for saving my life**_

_**This is the way it should be  
You're opened my eyes and now I can see  
This is the way I wanna stay  
For now for the rest of my life**_

_**You're the reason that I'm still alive  
These are more than just words that I write  
This is love that we're making  
There ain't no mistaking  
For you I've been waiting  
Thank you for saving my life  
Thank you for saving my life"**_

* * *

Song: "Thank You" (Bryan McKnight)


	64. Apologize

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

House turned away from Cuddy, overwhelmed by the tide of emotion that swept over him out of nowhere at her words, threatening to choke him up. He didn't know where it had come from or how to identify the emotion. He just felt it hit him head-on. House focused on his breathing, forcing it to go in and out of his lungs at a controlled pace until he thought he'd regained his composure. He nodded then, his eyes trained on the lake, knowing he needed to at least acknowledge that he'd heard her. Neither one said anything for several minutes, Cuddy busily searching her coat pockets for a tissue. House reached in his pant pocket and grabbed the tissue pack he always kept on hand for Evie, passing it to Cuddy before reaching for his coffee and taking another sip to try and dislodge the knot of emotion that was pressing upon his airway.

Cuddy wiped at her eyes and then blew her nose, whispering a quiet "thank you" for the tissues when she had at last succeeded in some modicum of decorum. She glanced at House briefly, wishing she could know what he was thinking. She wanted to ask but knew how House could be and that the likeliness of a straight answer was slim. It was better to wait him out. She didn't have to wait long.

House cleared his throat and took a deep breath. When he did speak, his voice was gruff and gravelly. "What are you hoping for here, Cuddy?"

He was never one to beat around the bush in moments like these. Usually that was something she appreciated. But this time she just wasn't sure how to respond. "Do you think I thanked you because I want something from you?" she asked softly as she tucked her hair back out of her line of vision, fearful of his answer.

He looked at her and shook his head to indicate that wasn't what he was thinking. "No, but you sought me out for a reason. I don't know what to do here. It would help me if I knew your motivations." Then a wave of questions rolled out over his tongue like floodwaters spilling out of a dam that had burst. "Are you here because you feel guilty and are looking for absolution? Or is this some therapy assignment for you to complete? Did you seek me out because you hope to restore… I don't know… the friendship we once had? Or is it because you suddenly want what you've lost and plan to try and take my daughter away from me? What are you…?"

She interrupted before he could continue. "_House, no,_" she began, reaching for his shoulder, her breathing shifting to an erratic, unnatural pace even at the thought of House thinking she could do that to him. But he drew away before she could touch him and she bit her lip in sorrow before mumbling an apology.

After a moment of pulling herself back together and considering his questions, she murmured slowly, "I don't expect your forgiveness, nor do I think you can absolve me of what I've done. I've… done so many unforgiveable things and I've hurt you… very badly, I realize. I can't deny that it hasn't been suggested in therapy that I acknowledge how I wronged you so that the both of us can move forward, but no, I am not here to complete some assignment. I do… I _miss you_. And I cannot tell you how keenly I feel your absence in my life," she admitted, her tone hushed and her crushed heart in pieces that she wanted with all she had to entrust him with, even if it made her vulnerable and left her exposed. "But I don't _expect_ you to _want_ to have anything to do with me… ever again," she admitted truthfully. "I… I wouldn't want anything to do with me either if I was in your place. And as for…" she paused, not sure whether to refer to the baby as their daughter or his daughter, as he'd termed her in his question. "As for the baby, I would _NEVER_ take her away from you."

And then Cuddy drew in a deep breath, closing her eyes in pain and in a pointless attempt to keep her eyes from spilling out the hot tears already leaking from them. "I _don't_ deserve to be in her life. I… I fought you every step along the way to terminate her life. And when you refused, I… hated you for forcing my hand and hated her for existing. I was _TERRIBLY messed up_ and I… I have done _so many things wrong_ along the way. I treated you horribly. Well, horribly doesn't even sum up how I treated you. And I… _ignored _her existence. What… what _kind_ of mother _rejects_ her own child?! What _kind _of mother…?!" Cuddy began to sob in earnest then, grief washing over her in a way that, until now, she'd resisted allowing it to.

* * *

House had been gone for an hour when there was a knock on the door. Cameron set aside the magazine she had been reading and got to her feet, rubbing circles on her pregnant belly. She checked through the peephole and opened the door when she knew that it was Wilson.

He looked at her, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

She smiled and said, "Babysitting," but then her smile died and she met Wilson's look with a serious expression.

He read it and hesitantly asked, "Where's House?"

"With Cuddy," she told him, motioning for him to come inside before turning away and walking back to the couch.

Wilson shut the door behind him and followed after her, thrown off by this revelation. "What do you mean he is with Cuddy?" he finally asked; concern clearly visible in his words. He stood for a moment, staring at her.

Cameron sat down and returned her focus to him. She shrugged and said, "He called and asked if I could come watch Evie for a couple hours. He didn't tell me why but when I arrived fifteen minutes later, she was sitting on the front porch."

"He didn't let her in?" he asked, mulling the information over before moving to sit down in the chair across from her.

"I guess not. Either that or she didn't want to come in. I don't know. I stepped around her and entered the house to look for him."

Wilson narrowed his eyes, thinking this through. He didn't know how Cuddy had figured out where House lived. It certainly hadn't been through him. But he supposed that didn't matter right now. "What did he say?" he finally asked.

"He gave me instructions regarding Evie," Cameron began.

"But what did he say about Cuddy being here?" Wilson pressed, a compulsion to know the answer causing him to be impatient as he awaited it.

Just then there was a cry from the nursery and Cameron pushed herself up to go to Evie. She opened the door and went to the crib, lifting out House's precious little girl and cooing softly to her. Evie stopped crying the moment she was picked up, her eyes focusing on Cameron's face and staring at her in surprise. Cameron laughed at how House had clearly opted to put her soft baby hair up into two little pigtails. The baby had a TON of hair now, dark hair like her mother's, though for the moment it was still fairly straight. She was absolutely beautiful. Cameron turned, cradling her in her arms as she made her way back out to the living room.

Wilson held his hands out for her and Cameron considered it, finally passing Evie to him. "But don't get too comfortable with her because I haven't even had a chance to hold her today," she warned. "I'll go get her bottle ready."

Wilson agreed, taking the infant into his arms and babbling in a silly baby voice to her. Cameron raised her eyebrow before saying, "I bet House rags you non-stop about this."

Wilson glanced up at her and said, "Are you kidding me?! I don't do this when House is around. I'd never live it down." Looking back down at the baby, he continued in the voice from before, "No, no. Uncle Wilson wouldn't talk to his favorite girl like this with her crazy daddy around." Cameron snickered and Wilson met her eyes once more, drolly commanding her, "Shut up! And don't you dare tell House about this."

She laughed and turned to go for the bottle, all too aware that House was right. She did waddle like a duck now. When she had it ready, she returned, taking the baby from Wilson to feed her.

"So, what did he say about Cuddy being here?" Wilson asked again, returning to their conversation from the moments prior to Evie waking up.

"Not much," Cameron informed him, shaking her head. "He didn't know why she'd come. He figured he would find that out. House mentioned that if she needed closure, he didn't want to deny her that. But…_Wilson_, it just _bothers_ me. I suppose it's none of my business, but…_why now?_"

Wilson nodded to indicate he wondered the same thing. Cameron took that to mean she could continue with her line of thought. She really just needed to process everything with someone after seeing Cuddy out front unexpectedly. She sighed and said, "When House came home from Mayfield, I was really concerned about how it might have affected him. But once his license was reinstated, he seemed better. He seemed like he genuinely _was_ ready to be a better man. He was _motivated._ And then there was the whole thing with Cuddy and Lucas and sometimes I could tell it upset him, but for the most part he covered his feelings like a champ. But…I_ haven't_ forgotten what House was like during Cuddy's pregnancy. Clearly he loved her and he put up with her crap because of it and because of Evie, but…_that look_ I'd see in his eyes _haunted_ me. When everyone realized Cuddy was pregnant and I found out the baby was House's… And then when I found out that she was using her pregnancy to force him into … and I just… The very _idea_ of House being _degraded_ like that eventually set off this rage inside me! Okay, granted, the man had a _tendency_ for meaningless sex, but that was with prostitutes he paid. He wasn't 'prostituting' himself until this thing with Cuddy!

"I was so _ANGRY!_ I used to see battered women, rape victims, women who stayed with their husbands despite what that meant for them… all the time in the ER. I never understood why they stayed. _I pitied them._ But this was _House!_ House, one of the strongest, spirited men I'd ever cared for, _despite_ his tendency towards being a real jerk at times and his sarcasm and self-loathing. House, well, I _couldn't_ pity him. You _know_ how he is. If I even showed one _ounce_ of pity, he would have shut down on me right then and there. And I didn't really want to pity him anyway. But, it was incredibly difficult to know what I knew and respect his right to make up his own mind about how he'd handle things with Cuddy. I think up until that point I didn't realize just how much he wanted this baby. I mean, _REALLY_ wanted her.

"Then Evie was born and we watched him lick his wounds from the last nine months of hell and move on, settling into daddy mode. I… I don't know if he is _happy_ per say. I think he is still plagued by what happened between him and Cuddy. But I do know that he _LOVES_ his daughter. He's earnestly striving to build a life for the two of them and ensure that she will have a happy childhood, knowing just how loved she is. And… now Cuddy shows up at his door, just like that. I don't know what she _wants_, but _whatever_ it is, there is not a doubt in my mind that it is far more than she _deserves_." She exhaled again, looking tenderly at Evie before meeting Wilson's eyes. "Do you think I am jealous?"

Wilson looked at her as if she was crazy, jerking his head back in surprise. "Jealous of what?!" he asked in bewilderment.

Cameron frowned and pursed her lips before whispering, "I don't want Cuddy to come back into the picture."

He leaned towards her and wryly inquired, "You think I do?"

"No, of course not! But… what are your reasons for wanting her to stay away?" Cameron inquired, needing to process this with him.

He reclined on the couch, folding his arms back behind his head and staring at the ceiling. "When Stacy left, I was there to pick up the pieces. It took a long time for him to get through that, but he did. He had chased her out in the first place, even if she _had_ betrayed his trust. When she returned to PPTH, he _wanted_ to take her back, but in the end he decided it wouldn't work out for them and so he let her go. I thought it was the _biggest_ mistake he could make. When she was gone, he was _worse off_ than he'd been before she came back. But House wasn't going to change his mind. He let her go, determining that Mark was the better match for her – the one who would actually _commit _himself to making things work with her. Then there was Cuddy, who House had known forever and always cared for, though not in an overtly obvious romantic way that the rest of us could see. Yet there was chemistry there and she shared his feelings, albeit they never seemed to get their act together. When she was ready, he wasn't. When he was ready, she wasn't. The days before House went to Mayfield he was having hallucinations. Don't you dare tell him I told you this but he had a delusion where Cuddy helped him detox and in the delusion, they ended up having sex. He thought it was real. When he came in the next morning, I'd never seen him so happy. He seriously wanted to commit to her; hence the announcement from the balcony that day. Then his hopes were dashed; he found out that it had all been a delusion and I helped check him into Mayfield. When they released him, he was different. A month or so after his return he admitted to me that he had two goals now that he had his freedom. One of them was to do whatever it took to get his job back. The other was to win Cuddy over."

Wilson glanced at Cameron then, taking in the surprise on her face and smiling ruefully himself. "Then the three of us went to that conference together and Lucas showed up. Neither House nor myself knew she was seeing anyone before that. House pulled himself together, hoping that it would end on its own, knowing that Cuddy was really not any better with relationships than he was, perhaps even worse than him. At least he'd been with Stacy for quite a while there. I think he was trying to take the high road. Then she got engaged and he realized it was serious. Suddenly he couldn't stop himself from trying to ruin it for her. Lucas broke it off with Cuddy and a few days later she showed up at House's place, absolutely furious with him. Somehow, they ended up in bed together. The next morning Lucas called and House grabbed her phone, answering it by mistake. I don't know if Lucas was hoping to get back together or what but then he realized she had slept with House. Things didn't work out the way Cuddy hoped for them to. She blamed House for everything. And you basically know the rest of it."

Wilson rubbed his face with his hand in consternation and then looked at Evie and smiled before saying, "Cameron, her bottle's empty."

Cameron had been lost in thought and forgotten all about the bottle. She threw a burp cloth over her shoulder and then lifted the baby to it, burping her and thinking over all the information she'd received. "It was like overnight Cuddy became a different person," she said then. Really, they'd talked a lot about this in the past, but right now, Cameron just needed to rework it in her mind and try to determine how she was supposed to handle this.

Wilson nodded. "Yes, I think she was so convinced that Lucas was her last chance at having a family of her own that when he walked away, she had a breakdown. She was obviously depressed and not on any medication for it. Things just got worse and worse as the pregnancy went along. Cuddy was trapped. Obviously, House forcing her hand in this wasn't going to make her happier. And for her, she probably saw it as what dashed what remained of her hopes for a future with Lucas. She quickly spiraled out of control, though I think she probably deserves an Emmy for her performance at work and how she tried her hardest to cover everything up. In House's defense, what else could he do but threaten her in order to protect Evie?"

"Do you think I've been too hard on her?" Cameron asked curiously.

Wilson huffed out a breath, getting up to come sit on the couch next to her. "Who's to say? It's… possible. Maybe we both were. House certainly feels I have been. But we've both been around long enough to know that House isn't as strong as he pretends to be. We both have seen him broken. And what happened with Cuddy _should_ have destroyed him. I think it _did_ destroy him in some ways. _Evie_ gave him a reason to survive it. Evie's brought out the best in him. And little by little I believe this baby here is piecing him back together. Maybe she's undoing damage that happened long before Mayfield, I don't know. Why _wouldn't_ we object to Cuddy returning to his life? No one has ever broken House like _she _broke him. What if she wants to be a part of his life again? She might destroy him completely this time. Or what if she doesn't want to be with House, but wants Evie? I can't even… contemplate how that would affect him."

Cameron studied the floor for a moment, Evie babbling contentedly in her lap. "I think when I saw her, I felt a little threatened by her presence," she admitted softly.

"Cameron, do you have unresolved feelings for House? Are you… in love with him?" Wilson asked her calmly, reaching out to touch her arm.

She met his gaze in surprise. "No, I love Chase with all my heart and I am so excited to have this baby with him," she assured Wilson. "But I do love House. I have loved him for a long time now. We've become good friends. I NEVER thought we'd become such good friends. He's like a brother to me, as odd as that sounds. I don't want to lose that. And I… I don't want to be misplaced in Evie's life by Cuddy. I don't mean that I want to be her mother. I just don't want Cuddy to enter the picture and send me packing. I _want_ to be involved. I _want_ to be there for her."

"There's nothing wrong with feeling that way, Cameron," he told her. "I don't want to lose my position in Evie's life either."

"But if Cuddy comes back into their lives and becomes Evie's mommy, where does that leave me? I am not her mommy and I don't mean to try to be, but Cuddy and I parted ways months and months ago. I am not sure we can come back from that. And… I am not sure I _want_ to come back from that. If House decides Cuddy should be involved in Evie's life, what will that mean _for me?_ She's her _mother._ I'm just Aunt Cameron. What if Cuddy pushes me out of Evie's life and House lets her? I don't _want_ to let her go. I don't want to lose _him_ either." Her lower lip began to quiver then and she bit it to refrain from crying, though a tear managed to trickle down her cheek anyway.

Wilson scooted closer to her and threw an arm around her, drawing her into a hug. He wondered how much of this was pregnancy hormones. "Give House a little credit, Cameron. Cuddy isn't pregnant anymore. He doesn't have to give in to her demands to protect his daughter. And there's no way he'd permit you to back out of Evie's life, even if you _wanted_ to," he reassured her teasingly. "You are stuck! You don't get a choice in the matter. You've committed yourself to this little girl and House won't let it be any other way. If Cuddy does want back into Evie's life, he won't let it be at the cost of your relationship with her."

Evie began to noisily protest the lack of attention she was being paid and Wilson drew back, releasing Cameron to look at the baby. "I think she's still hungry," he told Cameron, rubbing a finger against Evie's cheek as she gave him a big smile, babbling once more.

"Her food's in the kitchen, all ready to go. You want to grab it?" Cameron asked him, drawing in a ragged breath as she brought her emotions back under control.

"Sure," he replied, pushing himself up from the couch. Cameron watched him go and then lifted the baby up in the air before her so that she could gaze into her eyes, so like House's. "I'm not going anywhere, Evie," she told her confidentially before pressing a kiss to the baby's chubby cheek. Evie gurgled contentedly, one drool-covered fist in her mouth.

* * *

House could see Cuddy's shoulders shaking as she sobbed loudly and something tugged in his gut, both at the sound and at the physical appearance of her profound agony over the past. But he held his compassion in check, unable to permit himself to reach for her. He wanted to remind her that she had been severely depressed and that had accounted for at least some of the extremes she'd experienced while pregnant, but at the same time, he didn't want to make excuses for her. He doubted that was what she needed from him. That was her therapist's job; not to make excuses but to reason with her and help her acknowledge that mentally, emotionally, and physically she had suffered through a mental illness that was at least partly to blame for all that happened. He also was hesitant for his daughter's sake. He couldn't swallow that Evie deserved to suffer her mother's wrath regarding her conception and while he knew that wasn't what it would mean if he acknowledged Cuddy's issues, he didn't want to risk her thinking that he might feel that, especially when he wasn't truly sure where Cuddy was in the process of moving on with life. And then there was the fact that it was April already. Even with postpartum depression, she'd been receiving counseling for months now. She could have come long before this. But she hadn't.

When she finally seemed to have regained some control, he hesitantly murmured, "It was never my intention to take her away from you Cuddy. I never wanted that. I never wanted her to grow up without her mother."

"I know that, House," she whispered. "I… I would like to be a part of her life now, if you decide that would be okay with you. I would like to have that chance. I would like to ask you to extend me the grace and mercy it would take for you to offer me that, despite how undeserving I am. But I… I'm not going to press you though. And I will respect whatever decision you make. Legally, she's your daughter and yours alone."

House frowned then, confused. Finally he came to the awareness that Cuddy didn't have a clue, realizing that she was obviously unaware that her voluntary termination of parental rights had yet to go through. He thought of correcting her but didn't. He wasn't sure if he stopped himself because he was afraid she'd take it as an opportunity to take the decision out of his hands and he felt threatened somehow or if it just didn't seem all that relevant to this moment. "Give me some time to think about it," he finally said, his tone neutral.

Cuddy nodded and silence descended between them momentarily. After a while she exposed herself further and asked the other question weighing heavily on her heart, "Do you think maybe in time, you might be able to come to care for me again?"

He heaved a deep breath, frustrated. "Cuddy, I _do_ care for you. Haven't I _shown_ that? Didn't I _go to Georgia_ to get you? Aren't I _here_ now?"

She looked up at him, her eyes searching his face as she nodded. A single tear trickled down her cheek before she admitted in a whisper, "But I would like it if you could love me again."

Solemnly, he got to his feet, pacing before he looked at her, his eyes reflecting his storm of emotions. In the back of his mind a voice was warning him not to say it. He didn't _WANT_ to say it. But the words came out as if he had no control over his mouth whatsoever. "I love you, Cuddy. I _always_ have." He caught himself then, his eyes shutting against the words he'd just sacrificed himself up to her with. He rushed to cauterize the wound he himself had opened. "It's _not _something I can control. It's _not_ something that brings me any pleasure anymore. There's no reason or logic to it whatsoever. Yet nothing you have done to me has been _effective_ at _killing it_. And you've done _plenty_ of awful things that should have killed _any_ feelings I had for you. I think I will love you for the rest of my life. But honestly, I don't _want_ to. It's too late now. While I accept that I love you and probably always will, I can't offer you _anything_ anymore. Nor do I _want_ to."

-----

"_**I'm holding on your rope  
Got me ten feet off the ground  
And I'm hearing what you say  
But I just can't make a sound**_

_**You tell me that you need me  
Then you go and cut me down, but wait  
You tell me that you're sorry  
Didn't think I'd turn around and say**_

_**That it's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late**_

_**I'd take another chance, take a fall,  
Take a shot for you  
And I need you like a heart needs a beat  
But that's nothing new, yeah, yeah**_

_**I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue  
And you say sorry like the angel  
Heaven let me think was you  
But I'm afraid**_

_**It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late, whoa**_

_**It's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late  
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah  
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah**_

_**I'm holding on your rope  
Got me ten feet off the ground"**_

* * *

Song: "Apologize" (Timbaland)


	65. I Still Ain't Over You

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Sorry! Just one chapter today! These chapters take A LOT of time to write! :( )_

* * *

Cuddy didn't know what to say. She couldn't even cry she was so stunned. Hearing that House loved her and always had… it brought her soaring to the skies. But then… all that hope hit the air and exploded into ash with what he said next. Loving her brought him no pleasure. He didn't want to love her. He couldn't offer her anything and… didn't want to. His words pierced her to the core. She had so many things she KNEW she needed to confess to him. She also knew that with everything in her, she wanted him to know that she… loved him. With everything in her and far beyond how she'd loved anyone else. But before she could sort out the turmoil raging through her head, House's phone rang and he reached in his pocket to answer it.

"Hello," he answered, turning his back to Cuddy while running a hand through his hair at the agitation he was struggling to control.

"Hey, it's Cameron. Listen, Chase called and he's on his way home so I have to go. But Wilson is here and he said he'll be all too happy to stay and spend some time with his favorite niece," she told him, doing her best to mask the feelings she'd been trying to work through since finding Cuddy on the porch.

"How's her temperature?" House asked, a hint of concern in his voice.

"Temperature's gone," Cameron replied, smiling as she watched Wilson interact with the baby in his lap. "She seems fine to me. She had her bottle and Wilson just fed her. I found her a teething ring in your freezer and now she's happily gnawing on that, making faces at Wilson. I could feel the tooth coming in. I think it's about to break the skin. She should be better now."

He smiled. That would make three teeth. "Thanks for stepping in, Cameron. And thank Wilson for me."

"You know it's our pleasure," she assured him before adding, her voice stern, "Just because I'm not going to be here when you get back _doesn't_ mean you are getting out of telling me what's going on."

House sighed but smiled and admitted, "I didn't think you would let me out of it."

"Good," she responded smugly, "Just so we understand each other."

"I'll see you on Monday," he answered drearily, as if he was already dreading it.

"You know you look forward to seeing me," she teased. "Bye, House."

"See you Cameron."

House hung up and slipped his phone back in his pocket, turning to Cuddy then. "I should go," he told her simply.

She nodded, figuring that she really ought to respect that and just let it go for now, hoping that this wasn't the last chance she'd have to speak with him. "You'll give me a call when you decide anything or if you want to talk more?"

House nodded, meeting her gaze for the briefest of moments before reaching for the dregs that remained in his coffee cup. He turned, walking away from her towards his car, chucking his cup into the garbage as he passed it. She watched him climb into his car and drive off, not looking back, and Cuddy wondered if she could accept living the rest of her life without him in it. She hoped it wouldn't come to having to find that out.

* * *

House drove home, thinking about his time with Cuddy. He shook his head at how ironic it was that neither one of them was any good at apologizing. And yet both of them had known without her having to verbalize it what she was trying to apologize for. He did love her. But…he wasn't sure what he would decide. He didn't want to keep Evie from her and he was relieved that she wasn't asking him for more than she was where his daughter was concerned, but all the same, if she was to be in Evie's life that would mean her being back in his as well. And while he thought that would allow him the opportunity to be in Rachel's life and have Rachel in Evie's life, the idea of Cuddy being back in his life scared the hell out of him and he needed time to think about this before making a decision.

Reaching for his phone, he sighed and dialed Evelyn's number, knowing he needed some answers from the person most likely to have them and be able to voice them right now when he wanted them.

Evelyn picked up a moment later, having seen who was calling her. "Hey," she greeted casually, not knowing what to say.

"You knew she was coming and you didn't give me a warning?" he couldn't help asking solemnly.

Evelyn's eyes flickered closed and she released a pent-up breath before saying, "I'm sorry, Greg. I didn't know until last night, after I came home from your house."

"Why now?" House asked, his voice flat.

"She saw us at the park last Sunday," Evelyn admitted. "I didn't say anything because I didn't know what she was going to decide. She's been running away from this for so long. What was the point in worrying you unnecessarily if she ran again?"

"You still should have told me," House muttered grumpily.

"I'm going to tell you the same thing I told her, Greg. This is between you and Lisa. I'm here for both of you but I am _not _going to be the middleman," Evelyn stated evenly.

House huffed but realized that Cuddy had seen Evie at the park then. It pierced through his irritation and struck a direct hit on what he now internally held closest to his heart. "Did she… say anything about Evie after… seeing her?" he hesitantly asked, knowing he was revealing how much that mattered to him but recognizing that Evelyn wouldn't expect it to be any other way, nor would she ever ridicule him for its importance.

"She said she was beautiful and perfect and that… walking away was the biggest mistake of her life. She… she broke down, Greg," Evelyn acknowledged, not seeing the point in denying or hiding it.

House took a moment to process that, nodded despite knowing she couldn't see him, and then cleared his throat to ask, "And Rachel?"

"What about Rachel?" she queried, glancing down at the little girl who was sitting at her feet, playing with blocks.

"Is she a bargaining chip in this? Is Cuddy going to keep me from her if I don't let her in Evie's life?" he inquired gruffly. At the first sign that Cuddy was playing games, he was certain that he'd have his answer ready to be delivered to her.

Evelyn shook her head in frustration, wondering just what the two of them had talked about that House had to ask her this stuff. Clearly he hadn't given Lisa an answer yet either. "No, Greg. She said she wouldn't keep you two apart. Now honestly, you need to talk to each other! What in the world did you two talk about?!"

House didn't reply and she thought maybe they'd been disconnected until she heard him sigh.

She waited a second later but then couldn't stop herself from asking, "What are you thinking?"

"I just wasn't expecting this," he admitted. "I'm not sure what to think right now."

"Did you say anything to her? Did you ask her the questions you probably need to in order to decide one way or the other?" Evelyn probed.

"I was a little caught off-guard by her unexpected appearance at my door," he sardonically muttered.

Evelyn ignored his tone and gently asked, "Do you want me to stay around another week? If you decide you want to talk to her again, I can always bring Rachel out and watch Georgia for you. Frankly, if you decide that you don't want Lisa involved, it's probably best that I'm around to help her through that."

"That's not fair," he immediately protested. "I shouldn't be responsible for how she reacts to any decision I make."

"I'm not saying you are," Evelyn replied easily. "But regardless, reality is that your decision is going to affect her. I'm just saying there's a good chance I'll be needed if you decide you don't want her involved. And anyway, why would you have gone to the trouble of keeping the judge from terminating her parental rights to give her more time to change her mind, only to decide now that you don't want her to?"

"Cuddy doesn't know her parental rights haven't been terminated," House quietly replied. "And I'd rather you not tell her."

"Greg!" Evelyn admonished.

"_Please_ Evelyn," he said with an edge of pleading in his voice, willing to sacrifice his pride to ask this of her. "I need to make this decision for myself and for my kid. Cuddy hasn't… respected me or respected what I want at any point in this. She needs to. For this to go… anywhere. And I can't handle her taking this out of my control."

"She loves you Greg," she replied sadly, realizing just how deep his wounds went.

"No, she doesn't," he disagreed without emotion. "She just wants what she's lost and… she's probably willing to settle for me if it means she gets her daughter back."

Evelyn's head dropped into her hand and she used a finger to wipe away the tears coursing down her cheeks over what he'd said. "Greg, having you, being with you, loving you… that doesn't even come _close to settling_," she murmured.

"I don't know what I'll decide," House mumbled, ignoring what she'd said. "But… yeah. If you don't mind staying… Just a week. I'd appreciate it. And you're welcome to stay here if you want."

"Okay. Lisa just pulled up in the driveway. I suppose I should let you go. Does she… know anything about the baby?" she asked, needing to know what she still had to be careful about.

"I didn't tell her anything," he responded nonchalantly. "We didn't talk about Evie. She just told me she'd like back into her life if I'd allow it."

"Alright. I love you, Greg. Give me a call if you need me this week," Evelyn informed him as she watched Lisa come up the walk until she disappeared from view near the door.

"Okay. Thanks, Evelyn," House said, hanging up.

Evelyn heard Lisa's key turn in the door and set her phone down, sighing heavily as she waited for her to come in.

Cuddy met her mother's gaze as she entered the room to press a kiss to Rachel's head. Neither of them said anything immediately.

Evelyn rubbed her face with a hand and finally said, "If you don't mind, I'm going to call your father and let him know I'm staying another week."

Cuddy gave her mother an odd look at this declaration and dropped her gaze to the floor before meeting her eyes once more. "Stephanie's back on duty on Monday," she mentioned then.

Evelyn nodded. "That's fine. If it's a problem for her, I can stay at Greg's house," she responded dismissively.

"I don't think it'll be a problem for her," Cuddy corrected, surprised at that declaration. "But… House called you, didn't he?" she finished, figuring it out.

Evelyn nodded but said nothing more.

Cuddy sank down on the couch next to her mother and the tears automatically started to fall. "He's not going to let me reenter her life, is he?" she choked out.

Evelyn clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth in exasperation but turned to her daughter and put her arm around her as Cuddy dropped her head down on her mother's shoulder, crying quietly. "He didn't say that at all," she reassured. "He said he's going to take some time to think about it and I offered to stay around in case he needs to talk more with you before reaching a decision."

Cuddy reached around her mother to grab a Kleenex from the box beside the couch, blowing her nose and wiping at her eyes. "_Why_ does _everything_ have to be _so complicated?!_" she lamented.

That brought a soft smile to Evelyn's lips. She knew Lisa was well aware of just how complicated this could prove before she'd ever left the house this morning. Her daughter just wanted to whine a little and garner some sympathy. "Because neither you nor Greg know how to do anything besides complicated," she muttered dryly. "And your stubbornness gives new meaning to the definition of stupidity."

"I think I should call dad. Maybe he can come up. At least he'll take my side and show me compassion in this," she complained, needing a reprieve from the seriousness of what she was up against and finding it in being a little… not cavalier about the situation but… somewhat more light-hearted in it for the moment.

"What happened?" Evelyn asked then, making long strokes along Cuddy's right arm with her right hand that was wrapped around her.

Cuddy briefly went through what had happened, outlining their encounter and what had been said between them, finally straightening so that she could face her mother when she was done.

"He told you that he _loves_ you and you _didn't even tell him _how you _feel_?" Evelyn asked in disbelief, shaking her head as if Cuddy's behavior was a reflection on herself and now identified her as a failure at parenting.

"His phone rang!" Cuddy declared in self-defense, looking like she was going to start crying again.

"_Lisa!_" Evelyn scolded, her head tilting down to give her the evil eye, one eyebrow quirked.

"He doesn't even _want _to _love_ me anymore! He said so himself! He said that it doesn't bring him pleasure and he… can't offer me anything," she finished, falling silent.

"Well, _honey_," Evelyn began with sarcasm heavily lacing her words, still irritated with her daughter. "I love you _unconditionally_ but right now that doesn't bring me _any_ pleasure _either_. I'd like to… _throttle you_ right about now."

"What kind of mother says that to her hurting child?" Cuddy whined.

"The kind of mother who knows her child can handle hearing it, who has been holding her tongue for way too long, and who… really believes that it will all work out in the end, if her child will commit herself to doing whatever it takes, being as vulnerable as possible, and… waiting until the man she loves is ready and… confident of the fact that she loves him with all her heart," Evelyn concluded, her tone going from annoyed to affectionate within the span of her statement.

Cuddy studied her mom's face and then turned around to sink back into the couch. "You really think it will work out? You really think he'll give me a chance?" she inquired softly.

Evelyn pursed her lips but then replied, "He said he loves you. He said he thinks he'll always love you. Unless you mess it up for yourself, I think Greg will actually give you a shot at being a mother to your daughter."

Cuddy nodded slowly. "Then I better not mess it up," she murmured.

"You better not," Evelyn agreed.

Evelyn and Cuddy sat there for several minutes in silence, watching Rachel play. Finally Cuddy asked, "And do you think he might… give me a shot at loving him?"

Evelyn considered her question and smiled faintly. "Does he have a choice about you loving him?" she wryly inquired. "I don't think he can control that. He might not embrace it or accept it. But loving him falls to you. And… love can be a powerful force in its own right. The question is, how much do you love him, Lisa? And how far will you go to prove he can trust the genuineness of your love? That's what you need to ask yourself," she said as she got to her feet, patting Cuddy's leg before leaving the room.

Cuddy watched her go, worrying her lower lip between her teeth, contemplating her mother's words.

* * *

House drove down his street approaching his driveway, hitting the garage door opener before pulling in. Once he had parked, he headed inside. House walked through the kitchen, dining room, and into the living room where Wilson was camped out on the couch, a game on TV, watching Evie intently rocking back and forth on her hands and knees on the floor, trying to build up momentum to crawl. She caught sight of House and squealed happily, beating at the carpet with one hand while bracing herself with the other.

"How's George doing?" House asked her, putting on his air that he always began with when in Wilson's proximity.

He rolled his eyes. "Don't call your kid that, House," he scolded. "She's a girl! Quit treating her like a boy."

House laughed, scooping her up from the floor and throwing her up in the air a little until she giggled and a stream of drool hit his chest. He gave her a playful dirty look. "Great! Just great, son."

Wilson rubbed a hand over his face in exasperation. "You do realize that she's going to be the most gender-confused child in preschool one day, don't you?"

"Yeah, well that's something to think about down the road," House remarked thoughtfully. "But for now, it won't make much difference," he finished, enjoying Wilson's outbursts while moving to sit next to him on the couch.

Wilson shook his head, raising an eyebrow. "Well, at least she wears dresses on occasion."

"Only because people buy them and would make my life miserable if she didn't," House drolly replied. "When did the game start?" he asked then, changing the subject.

"About a half hour ago," Wilson informed him dutifully.

House snatched the remote from him and turned the volume up, bouncing Evie in his lap while she gurgled and cooed to him. "What's the score?" House asked her, his voice serious as he brought his face down to hers.

"Two to Zero," Wilson replied.

House looked at him in annoyance. "I was asking the kid."

Wilson picked up the pillow and hit House with it, being careful of Evie who giggled at her daddy's face.

"You think that's funny?" House asked her as he stood her up so that she was nose to nose with him, his expression grave.

She batted him with her slobbery fist, cuffing him on the chin. "Great. It's beat up on daddy day. Just wonderful. You've corrupted my kid, Wilson."

Wilson laughed, taking Evie from House. "Don't worry. I have a feeling that if I had kids, you'd have returned the favor long ago."

Wilson and House remained in the living room, watching the game. House got up at half-time to lay Evie down in her crib for her nap, returning to the living room with a beer for Wilson and a non-alcoholic version for himself in hand.

"Thanks," Wilson replied, taking his.

"No problem," House responded, getting comfortable on the couch before prying off the tab on his and taking a swallow.

Wilson nodded, taking a drink from his own. "I have to say, I'm impressed, House. You've really stuck to this no alcohol thing."

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Well, I did it all for you, sweetie."

Wilson just shook his head, ignoring him as he settled back into the game.

After about a half hour, House finally turned to him during the commercial. "So, you aren't going to ask?"

Wilson smiled, amused at how House caved without him having to apply any pressure for once. "I figured you'd tell me when you wanted to."

House nodded and then turned back to the TV, focusing his attention on the Ford commercial.

Wilson just stared at him. He sighed, glaring at House when he finally looked back at him. "Well?"

"You said that you'd wait until I wanted to talk about it," House taunted. "I don't. And now I don't have to. You'll wait."

Wilson grimaced and grabbed the remote before House could realize his intentions, turning the TV off completely and then sitting on the remote.

House laughed. "I'm not going to reach there to retrieve it," he dryly told him.

"I know. That's why it's there," Wilson informed him sarcastically. "Now talk."

"Come on," House groveled. "Turn the TV back on and… I'll tell you while we watch the game."

Wilson nodded, accepting the deal. He turned the TV back on but kept the remote just in case House still kept quiet. House rolled his eyes but took a sip from the bottle in his hand before trying to think of what to say. Wilson waited, looking back and forth between House and the TV.

"Cuddy was here earlier," he began.

"Well I heard that much from Cameron," Wilson informed him wearily.

House gave him a sharp look before reprimanding him with, "Would you just relax? I'm building up to it."

"Alright. Fine. Build your foundation. I'm not going anywhere," he replied, a hand up to show he would try to be more patient.

"Good," House stated. A minute passed, during which the opposing team scored and they booed. Finally House said, "I told her I'd meet her at that jogging park across from PPTH. I drove separate, just in case. She… she thanked me," he added, frowning thoughtfully. "I didn't expect that."

"Thanked you for what?" Wilson asked, clearly irritated by Cuddy's audacity in thinking there was anything she could say to make up for what she'd done to House.

"Are you going to listen or interrupt all the time?" House asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Sorry. I'm listening," he appeased, realizing just how much his defenses had risen back up since his conversation with Cameron earlier.

"I don't know. For everything I imagine," House replied, shrugging off the subject. "She said I saved her life."

Wilson remained silent this time, unsure what to make of this. "You did save her life," he finally said, as if it was an obvious fact that everyone knew. "Did she apologize?" he asked somberly.

House cocked an eyebrow at that question. "Does an apology require you to actually voice the words 'I'm sorry'? Because, uh, Wilson, I don't know if you've noticed but Cuddy sucks as much as I do when it comes to apologies."

"That's not true, House," Wilson argued. "You've gotten much better over the past year or so."

House chuckled, letting it go. "Well, I don't think Cuddy knows how to apologize for everything between us now."

"Yeah, maybe not. Regardless, no apology could make it up to you," he stated pointedly.

"No," House quietly agreed. "But what could? Anyway, I asked her what she was hoping to accomplish in coming to talk with me."

"She wants you back, doesn't she?" Wilson inquired, knowing that without a doubt.

House shrugged. "I told her that I had nothing to offer her."

"Meaning that you aren't interested?" Wilson clarified.

House just nodded.

"And Evie?" he prodded then, dreading this response equally as much as House's last one, though he was glad to hear House wasn't planning to go back down that path.

"She wants to be a part of her life," House admitted. "If I will let her be. She says that is up to me."

"And what are you thinking?" Wilson asked as he studied his friend.

"I don't know," he honestly told him, glancing in his direction. "I said I'd get back to her later. Then I left."

Silence fell between them for a couple minutes, until Wilson broke it by clearing his throat.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, his gaze focused on House.

House turned to him in surprise, staring, his eyebrows furrowed. "For what?"

"I should never have gotten involved. I should never have encouraged you to be with Cuddy," he managed to say. "I… I am partly responsible I think for all you've suffered through in the last couple years. I…wish I had minded my own business. Maybe then she wouldn't have hurt you like she did."

House shook his head. "How are we _back_ to _this?!_ _None_ of this was _your_ fault Wilson. You have nothing to feel guilty for. I thought you knew that. Seriously, what do I have to say to make you understand I don't blame any of this mess upon _you?!_"

"No, this is partly my doing. I interfered in your life, thinking she'd bring you happiness when all she did was hurt you," Wilson continued, his tone depressed.

House pursed his lips, realizing he might not be able to get Wilson to accept that he didn't place any blame at his feet in this. His best friend was prone to accepting personal responsibility _for everything_ – whether it was a patient dying because he couldn't cure their cancer or because… House was _once more_ in the midst of a crisis that really, was of his own making and had very little, _if anything,_ to do with Wilson."Wilson," he began seriously after a moment, choosing another route. "She gave me Evie. Everything I went through with Cuddy, and I do mean _EVERYTHING_, was worth Evie in the end."

Wilson sighed before nodding then, accepting this statement as fact. "Cameron's worried that if Cuddy reenters your lives, her spot in Evie's life will be usurped. She thinks Cuddy might kick her out of Evie's life completely," he stated then, changing the subject slightly.

"Well that's just stupid. That will not happen. Cameron has been a part of Evie's life from day one, when her own mother turned her back on her. Cameron's not going anywhere. She'll be stuck buying her Christmas and birthday presents for years to come," House declared, shaking his head adamantly.

"It might make it easier for her if you told her that," Wilson acknowledged. "I'm not sure if it's the pregnancy thing or what but it's definitely one of the biggest things weighing on her mind after seeing Cuddy today and surmising her potential intentions."

"And then she's worried about me," House stated, knowing it wasn't a question.

"Yeah. She…well, we don't want to see you get hurt again," Wilson amended.

House smiled softly. "Wilson… you and Cameron… I just… there's nothing I could do to show you how grateful I am for all you've done… not just for me, but for Evie as well. You're… my best friend. I can't imagine how I'd have coped since coming out of Mayfield if you hadn't always been here for me," he raggedly whispered, choked with emotion. It was the first time he'd ever really put it into words for his friend's benefit. "But no hugging," he warned him somberly, reading the look in Wilson's eyes.

Wilson chuckled, rolling his eyes. "You finally appreciate me and then you won't even allow me to respond," he sarcastically retorted.

"Yeah, well… you can babysit or something to make it up to me," House volleyed while smirking, the emotion of moments ago now tucked back away, both of them instantly returning their attention to the game.

* * *

Cuddy lay awake on the right side of her bed, staring at the clock telling her it was 3 a.m. and still no closer to falling asleep than she had been when she'd turned in for the night at 11. She couldn't lie to herself. Time was not on her side. She had already wasted so much of it, whether in a state of denial, of doubts, of fear, of failure, of… mental psychosis. She didn't have any idea if there was any time remaining to her. She could only hope.

Somewhere in a house out in Kendall Park was a child she had deprived herself of for six long months and another nine months which could have been spent carrying her under her heart in expectation and hope, a child she now desperately wanted the opportunity to love, a child who was half her and half House but wholly theirs. Also in that house was a man she was most definitely already in love with, a man she wanted to spend forever with, a man she now had to prove herself to, should he opt to give her another chance at… anything, a man she had never gotten over and never would. He was etched inside her as if by a diamond-tipped laser, ingrained in her very fibers forever and always, engraved on her life-sustaining organ that pulsed with glistening drops of blood, each stained with another memory of him: his words, deeds, thoughts, looks, taste, and touch. It was all there, trapped inside her, eternally. Yes, she'd wasted a lot of time. She couldn't get it back. That was true. But she could take the time remaining to her on this earth to prove how deeply he ran through her veins, if he would only give her that opportunity. Cuddy hoped House wasn't involved with someone, but if he was it wouldn't stop her from pursuing his heart with wild abandon. Cuddy had every intention of fighting for him, tooth and nail, and being the one at the end of the day to claim his lips with hers, to claim all of him, every single molecule, branding him with her need, her desire, her love for one Gregory House, M.D., the only man she'd ever truly loved with all of her being; mind, body, and soul.

-----

"_**Out of luck and out of tune  
Half a day and night confused  
Love may wash away the blues  
But I still ain't over you**_

_**Damn the day that I forgot  
Came so close and almost lost  
It's been one year and fourteen months  
But I still ain't over you**_

_**Hey, I'm the blood in your veins  
I'm the cold when it rains  
I'm your heart when it breaks  
Time, no it ain't on our side  
I'm the truth to your lie  
And I'm your tear when you cry**_

_**Back and forth and side to side  
Right ain't wrong if wrong ain't right  
Well I will love you day and night  
'Cause I still ain't over you**_

_**Hey, I'm the blood in your veins  
I'm the cold when it rains  
I'm your heart when it breaks  
Time, no it ain't on our side  
I'm the truth to your lie  
I'm your tear when you cry**_

_**When the walls come crashing in  
When the flames come closer then  
Just remember time and again  
I still ain't over you"**_

* * *

Song: "I Still Ain't Over You" (Augustana)


	66. Be, Be Your Love

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Long one! Sorry! I know! New episode tonight! I understand if you put off reading this until after. Not that any of us are going to get the Huddy we want from David Shore tonight. Sigh. :( )_

* * *

April 4th, 2011

House had spent all weekend trying to work through Cuddy's sudden desire to be back in Evie's life. He really didn't know what to make of it. He could understand her guilt. He could imagine how seeing Evie would make what she'd done all the more real. But was that supposed to mean if she'd only seen her sooner, she would have been involved earlier? From the start? Or was now just… the right moment and any sooner would have been before she was ready? The truth was, part of him was upset she'd come because suddenly he had to question whether _he _had done the wrong thing at some point and deprived Evie of a mother. Cuddy he didn't care about. Well, he did. But not that she'd been deprived of her opportunity to be a mother to Evie up until now. That had been by her choice. But Evie… he really did want what was best for her.

So what did he do now? That was the question he was asking himself as he carted Evie's baby carrier into the hospital and headed for the daycare to drop her off. Five minutes later he lifted her free, kissed her, and then turned her over to Becky, the quiet, shy one, before heading upstairs to his office.

* * *

Cameron looked up when he entered and sighed, one hand rubbing circles on her belly. She wasted no time getting straight to the point.

"What did she want?" she asked before biting her lip fretfully.

House didn't bother trying to push the conversation off. She'd given him his space all weekend, despite how upset Wilson had implied she was about this.

"Cuddy wants back in the picture," he replied with a shrug as he limped around his desk and took a seat there, turning his computer on.

"With you, Evie, or both?" Cameron inquired pointedly.

"Why does everyone ask that?" House muttered under his breath.

"Stop deflecting and just tell me," she demanded.

House rubbed his hand hard over one side of his face but he said, "I'm not interested in going back down that road Cameron. I told her as far as Evie goes, I'd… think about it."

She slowly nodded and fell silent, though she pushed her chair back and got to her feet, rubbing the small of her back as she walked the length of his office.

House watched her pensive pacing with a frown and then reached for his phone. He called information, requested the number he wanted, and dialed it.

Cameron stopped pacing and turned and looked at him in confusion after hearing him say, "Yeah, I need to make an appointment for a Dr. Allison Cameron. Can I pay over the phone?"

Cameron's eyebrow rose as she stared at him but House ignored her completely, rattling off his credit card number.

"You have plans immediately after work?" he asked her, covering the mouthpiece.

She slowly shook her head no and he removed his hand from the mouthpiece to accept the time slot they had available. Then he hung up, grabbed his pen, and wrote down the information for her on his scratchpad.

"What was that about?" Cameron finally asked.

House tore off the top sheet of paper and held it out to her. "You're stressed. It's not good for you or your marsupial," he muttered dismissively. "I… should have called so this wouldn't be on your mind. You aren't going anywhere, Cameron. Cuddy's not going to uproot you from Evie's life," he grumpily continued, having to at least show some signs that he didn't _like _being… _nice._

Cameron took the sheet of paper from him, unable to hide the smile that was tugging on her lips. "Oh. I know I'm not going anywhere, though," she replied glibly. "I'd already decided to put up a fight."

The corner of House's mouth quirked into the beginning of a smile. "Maybe once the joey's born, I can dig a mud pit in the backyard and you and Cuddy can have it out," he suggested playfully.

Cameron rolled her eyes but laughed. "Bring it on," she quipped. "I can take her."

House chuckled, shaking his head.

She looked down at the paper in her hand and then teased, "I think you're going soft."

He scoffed and drolly replied, "You'd like that but no. This is purely for self-serving purposes."

"Paying for me to get a massage is self-serving?" she inquired skeptically. "How does that work?"

"The _last_ thing I need is you to go into labor early," House grunted. "Then I have no one to run all my tests for me and I'll be _forced_ to actually do some work around here. Believe me when I say I'll push it off as long as I can."

Cameron smiled but sobered then and returning to the earlier part of their conversation, asked, "What _are _you going to do about Cuddy?"

House shook his head. "I don't know," he responded quietly.

The door opened right at that moment and Dr. Cooper stepped in, tossing a file onto the desk. "New patient. And he's promising to donate a significant wad of cash to the hospital if you can figure out what's he's dying from and heal him before this Friday. Has a new product he's releasing in Europe Monday. Make me proud."

Cameron grabbed the file up as Dr. Cooper made his exit and House uncapped a marker, going to his white board.

"Read 'em off," he replied, marker poised for action, grateful for something else to concentrate on.

* * *

Since Stephanie had Rachel, Evelyn opted to head for the mall, figuring she'd do some shopping and then maybe pick up some real estate magazines to flip through with Richard when she returned home. Grabbing her phone, she decided now was a perfect opportunity to call him.

"Hey honey," he said in greeting. "Has she heard from House yet?"

"No. Not yet," she replied evenly.

"Well, have you _called_ him?" he demanded to know next.

"No," Evelyn said dismissively, fully aware that her husband felt Greg should have allowed Lisa to see the baby right from the moment she showed up at his door. "He'll call when he's ready to."

"Give _me_ the number. _I'll_ call him," Richard muttered in frustration.

"This is _exactly_ why I _haven't _given you the number," she reminded him sternly. "Just be patient."

"Our _daughter_ hasn't even _met _her child yet – she's lost out on _6_ months already – _and _you expect me to be _patient?!_" he protested. "House is dragging his feet and costing Lisa time that could be _better spent_ with her daughter!"

"Where are you right now?" she interrupted, changing the subject and more than a little suspicious that he was working still.

Richard immediately headed for his office, closing the door behind him to block out the noise that would give him away. But he was silent too long.

"You're working, aren't you?" she huffed in irritation.

"You said you weren't coming home this week," he came very close to whining. "I just thought I'd help out since I have all this time on my hands."

"_Richard Theodore Cuddy!"_ Evelyn scolded. "_You PROMISED me that you'd be OFFICIALLY retired and out of that office!"_

"_When _you came home," he stated defensively. "You aren't home. Therefore I can keep working."

"What kind of logic is _that?!_" she demanded. "Argh," she exhaled heavily into the phone, extremely ticked off at her husband.

"_Evie, honey,_" Richard cajoled, using the voice he always turned to when he wanted back on her good side and the nickname she _NEVER _used with her granddaughter in part because of the fact that Richard _ALWAYS _called _her_ by it during foreplay.

Angry with him, she bit out a scream and then just disconnected the call in frustration. He was in _BIG _trouble! And he wasn't going to win her over with a little sweet-talking.

Her phone rang again and she reached for it, hitting the talk button and hissing out her breath before yelling, "Don't _call_ me right now! I am _MAD_ at you! And I've _told_ you that you _can't_ call me that _anymore!_ So _stop_ already! Come up with another nickname to use during sex!"

Silence met her ear and for a minute Evelyn waited in frustration for Richard to respond. But he was never this slow and that just threw her, causing her expression to morph from anger to confusion.

"Uh… I _really_ think that… what you just said was meant for someone else. At least… I _hope_ it was," House finally managed to sarcastically reply.

Evelyn gasped, mortified, and then she hung up.

House pulled the phone from his ear and stared at it for a second. Had Evelyn really just hung up on him?! He couldn't believe it. But then again, after what she'd said, he supposed he shouldn't be too surprised. House laughed, incredibly amused. Apparently Richard had really stuck his foot in it this time. Actually, _that _fifteen second _declaration_ was well-worth being hung up on after. Before he could decide whether to call her back or wait and see if she'd call him, his phone rang.

Seeing her number, he answered it, smirking. "So what does he call you during sex?" House asked curiously, unwilling to let what she'd said go without some response.

Evelyn colored on the other end of the phone. There was no way she would _ever_ confess that to him. It was totally inappropriate and he would _never _forget it. "You called?" she began serenely instead, trying her hardest to come across as not having any idea what he was talking about.

House chuckled but let it slide. "I thought maybe you'd want to come over for dinner tonight. If you don't already have plans. And Rachel too, if Cuddy says it's alright."

Evelyn mulled the invitation over in her head. "Are you testing her to see how she'll respond?" she inquired skeptically.

House rolled his eyes. "No. I'm just not quite ready to talk with her. If she says Rachel can't come, Rachel can't come."

Evelyn pursed her lips and then exhaled.

"If tonight doesn't work out for you, it's no big deal," he huffed, unsure who he was annoyed with.

Evelyn smiled at his exasperation. "Rachel and I will be there," she replied evenly. "Six o'clock?"

"Sounds good," House said, somewhat relieved.

"Okay. See you then Greg," she responded, smiling softly when she heard him hang up.

Evelyn set her phone aside and it immediately went off once again. Reaching for it, this time she looked to see who was calling.

Shelving the tenderness and affection Greg had brought on, she returned to her earlier anger, hit talk, and yelled once more, "Don't _call_ me right now! I am _MAD_ at you! And I've _told_ you that you _can't_ call me that _anymore!_ So _stop_ already! Come up with another nickname to use during sex!"

* * *

Evelyn was surprised when House didn't bring Lisa up at all, the whole time she and Rachel were over. Lisa had been clearly frustrated that House wasn't telling her what he was thinking and, Evelyn was almost certain, envious, that he would invite her and Rachel over but ignore Lisa in his invitation. However, Lisa had made no protest and hadn't said a single word about it, beyond telling her that it was fine. It wasn't fine but she was willing to accept it anyway and that worked for Evelyn.

House had turned Evie over to her grandma when they'd arrived and then lifted Rachel up to sit on the counter next to him while he cooked, allowing her to add ingredients as the two of them handled dinner and Evelyn fed Evie a bottle. Then they'd all eaten together at the dining room table, House feeding Evie her baby cereal and green beans while Rachel talked a mile a minute in broken sentences about Stephanie and how she'd gone to the park with her after her nap.

Instead of feeling more relaxed because he _wasn't _asking her questions, Evelyn felt tenser every minute that passed. She wanted him to talk to Lisa, not her. She wanted him to go directly to the source with whatever he still needed to know to make his decision. But the fact that he wasn't doing or asking _anything _of _anyone _worried her.

* * *

House lay on the floor, sprawled out in front of Rachel and Evie who were mystifying him with a conversation of mixed babble and actual words. He couldn't help being amused by the fact that Rachel was trying to speak baby instead of Evie attempting to echo sounds Rachel made. Both of them lay on their bellies, Rachel's head propped up in her hands as she faced Evie and Evie using her arms to hold her upper body up and stare at her sister, smiling and cooing as the conversation went on.

Glancing up at Evelyn, who was seated on the couch, he read her expression and the way she was worrying her lip, her eyes upon him but unseeing. Knowing what was on her mind he twitched his mouth from side to side for a moment before pushing himself up to go grab the camcorder and record the girls. But before he went, he paused in the doorway and looked back at her.

When she finally turned her head and met his gaze he looked down at the carpet, pursed his mouth, and then mumbled, "If you want to come over tomorrow and watch Evie for me, I'll go to her place and… talk to her."

Evelyn's eyes widened and she slowly nodded her head, the beginning of a relieved smile forming on her lips once he'd turned and continued off down the hallway.

* * *

House walked back through the kitchen and paused to stare at the home phone. Finally he released a breath and reached for it, dialing her number.

"Hello, this is Lisa Cuddy," she answered a moment later.

House didn't waste his breath on a greeting. "Can I come over tomorrow night? Around six? Your mom said she'll watch my kid for me."

Cuddy forgot to breathe, her eyes shutting of their own accord as she tried to calm her body down as it reacted anxiously to his voice and his words.

"Cuddy! You there?" he demanded when he received no reply.

"Six is fine," she managed to mumble.

"Alright," he replied. And then he was gone.

Cuddy wondered if she had her mother to thank for this call or if House was coming just to tell her his answer was no. Every minute that passed without hearing from him was painful. But maybe it was better to be eternally hoping than to have all hope wiped away. Wiping fearful tears from her cheeks, she set the phone aside and then sank to the floor, her back to the wall, terrified of what tomorrow might bring.

* * *

April 5th, 2011

House pulled into his driveway at 5:20 p.m. the following evening, not surprised to see Evelyn already there. He was however a little surprised that she'd brought Rachel with.

"Daddy!" Rachel shouted excitedly, running to him the minute he parked the car in the garage and got out, throwing herself on his leg.

"Hey Rachel," he greeted, his voice soft as he stroked her hair.

Evelyn walked up and House turned his attention to her.

"Hey," he greeted her more solemnly, opening the backseat door to unbuckle Evie once Rachel had released his leg and was running around the car in circles. "You brought Rachel," he said then.

"Hi," Evelyn replied, equally serious and quite contemplative as she searched his expression for signs of how he was doing. When she left, Lisa had been a nervous wreck, wringing her hands and casting worried glances at the clock every two minutes. House seemed to be holding his own, but then, everything rested on him. She supposed he had the responsibility of making a decision in his daughter's best interest, but at least the decision was his to make. Lisa clearly felt like her world was about to fall apart or… come together. Evelyn didn't envy either of them.

"I thought it might be best if she came with me," she admitted.

House quirked an eyebrow at that and Evelyn smiled wryly. "In case you feel the need to yell at Lisa," she explained. "I figured it might be best if Rachel wasn't there for it."

"It might have been wiser to leave us with a buffer," he attempted to joke, though his words fell flat at the end and all humor evaporated.

"I don't have the energy to yell right now," he mumbled finally, before lifting the baby out of the car and carrying her towards the door leading into the house, not immediately noticing how Rachel automatically took his hand to walk alongside him as he was too distracted by his thoughts. But when he had to release it to get the door, he smiled, finding it oddly comforting to have a two-year-old's hand cradled in his.

"Has Rachel eaten yet?" he asked Evelyn as she took the baby from him just inside the kitchen.

"Yes. She ate before we came," she replied.

House nodded and grabbed out a few cookies for her, setting two on the counter and the other right in Rachel's outstretched hand as she smiled up at him, having seen what he was removing from the pantry. "Thanks, daddy!" she replied, licking the cookie before taking a bite.

"You're welcome, kid," he replied before turning to pull out Evie's baby cereal and prepare it. Once it was ready, he mixed in some sweet potatoes and then set it on the counter for Evelyn before reaching for his infant daughter, taking her from Evelyn and pressing a lingering kiss to her cheek before studying her, only a few inches between their faces.

Evie waved her arm about and smiled, her other hand finding its way into her mouth as she started to babble excitedly, her legs kicking. House lifted her up a little higher to bury his nose into her neck, making her squirm as he breathed in her baby scent. A moment later he handed her back to Evelyn and then nodded slightly before turning to head back into the garage.

"I'll be back," he replied without emotion.

Evelyn didn't know what to say so she said nothing at all, figuring that wishing him good luck wasn't really fitting to the situation. She waited until she heard House's car start outside and the garage door close a minute later before pressing a kiss to Evie's cheek and getting her settled in her highchair to be fed.

* * *

Cuddy paced the hallway, waiting for House to arrive, each tick of the grandfather clock in her dining room penetrating her brain and marking off another second closer to when he'd reach her door and give her his verdict. She wondered if this was what it was like to be on death row, knowing you were sentenced to an early death you deserved but praying with everything in you that you'd get a reprieve.

She heard his car pull into the driveway and froze in place, her heart palpitating loudly from within her. She held her breath as she waited for him to knock on her door, but when he did, it wasn't the knock she knew. And that alone was enough to make a crack in her heart, as if a chisel had been placed upon it and the hammer had just come down with force.

Biting her lip she slowly made her way to the door, her eyes fluttering closed the moment before she turned the doorknob and pulled it open to face him.

"Can I come in?" he asked way too politely to offer her any comfort.

She nodded and stepped aside to make room for him.

House's eyes flickered over her while she shut the door, noting that she'd obviously changed since coming home from work, as she was now in a pair of jeans and a soft blue sweater. He looked away before she could notice him watching her.

Cuddy led the way into her living room, glancing uncertainly at him. "Would you like to have a seat?" she asked equally politely, hating herself for it, hating herself for letting it come to this.

House shook his head, choosing to stand, leaning against the wall separating the entryway from the living room, his arms folded over his chest.

Cuddy didn't know what to do with herself so she ended up sitting down in a chair, leaning slightly forward, her hands together in her lap. She didn't know whether she was supposed to say something first or if he would, so she waited, watching him, worrying her lip between her teeth.

House looked everywhere but at her, his eyes moving around the room. He was trying to think of the list of questions he had in his head five minutes ago which he'd now annoyingly forgotten. Finally he cleared his throat and quietly asked, "Why now?"

Cuddy wasn't sure what he was asking. Okay, maybe she knew what he was asking but she didn't know that there was an answer for that; certainly not an easy one and definitely not one that justified how long it had taken her to get to this point. Moistening her lips, she looked down at the carpet, staring at his tennis shoes, and said, "I don't know. When I was pregnant… I did everything in my power to convince myself she wasn't real. And then when she was born and I heard her cry… I couldn't deny that she was real anymore, but… I couldn't accept her either. I'd already taken my position on how I felt about the pregnancy… about the baby. I'd been fighting it too long to change my mind. And… it wasn't until the beginning of March that I really allowed myself to talk about the pregnancy to… the psychiatrist I'm seeing. And I've only been talking about the baby the past few weeks. When… when I saw her at the park, suddenly I was confronted with just what I'd done and all I'd lost and…" Cuddy paused for a moment, finally allowing herself to look at him. "House… I've already lost so much. I don't want to lose any more."

House eyed her for a moment, taking in the tears streaming down her cheeks that she didn't bother to wipe away. Then he looked away, hardening his heart. Being reminded of Cuddy's attitude towards the baby during her pregnancy only widened the wound she'd created within him all those months ago. He knew very well that if Evie had been Lucas's, Cuddy would have been only too happy about it. It had been that Evie was his that she'd shut the doors to loving her. For that… he just couldn't feel any compassion right now.

After another moment House muttered, "I don't really care what you've lost, Cuddy. That's your own fault. You chose to not be a part of her life and right now… if this was about me and what I want… I wouldn't even be here. But…"

Cuddy was no longer crying silently. While she was choking down the sobs that wanted to tear from her throat, her crying was now audible. She heard every word he said and it cut her to the bone. Yet everything hinged on that "but" he'd thrown in at the end of his statement and she waited for it, desperately.

"But," he repeated solemnly, "I want to do what's best for my kid. And I guess what I need to determine is… Are you in her best interest? Is having you in her life going to be more beneficial than detrimental?"

House frowned but returned his gaze to her and waited. Cuddy wasn't sure if she was supposed to respond to that somehow or if he was just telling her what he was struggling with. She quickly tried to pull herself together, her arms wrapping around herself after she wiped her tears away and blew her nose.

Pained, she quietly asked, "Do you… You think I'm a bad mother because of what happened with Rachel, don't you? When I let her get sick and… That's what you are questioning, isn't it? You think I'll… allow something to happen to the baby…" Cuddy couldn't help it. Her head dropped down into her hands and she sobbed, seeing his point, seeing what a terrible mother he had to believe her to be.

House stared at her, completely bewildered by what she was talking about. And then he remembered _exactly_ what she was referring to, though it hadn't even crossed his mind in all this time and he'd _NEVER_ thought her a bad mother because of _that._ Sighing dramatically, he rubbed his hand over his face in agitation. She was a wreck. Frankly, that was more worrisome than anything else. She was _not _increasing his belief that she could handle this. Evie didn't need a mother who was going to fall apart all the time. He hoped this was going to pass.

"Cuddy," he said sharply.

But she didn't hear him, lost in her grief and sorrow.

House rolled his eyes but he wasn't about to start yelling now. Instead he pushed himself off the wall and walked over to her, his hand settling on her shoulder before shaking her lightly. He stared at her, waiting for her to meet his gaze. Then he exasperatedly stated, "This has absolutely _nothing_ to do with what happened with Rachel, Cuddy. You've been a _crappy_ mother to _my_ kid but I don't have anything bad to say about you where your kid… where Rachel's concerned. What… happened with Rachel… well, you were depressed. And I understood that. End of story. But my kid… I don't trust you as far as I can throw you. You've done nothing to deserve my trust. What I'm asking is, are you going to earn it? Are you going to do right by my kid? Because so help me, if I allow you to be in her life and you screw it up… This isn't three strikes and you're out. You get one chance here, Cuddy. One. Mess it up and you're gone."

Cuddy stared at him, feeling a thousand different things all at once.

"Well?" he demanded, realizing his hand was still on her shoulder and dropping it back to his side.

Cuddy quickly nodded, using an index finger to wipe her eyes before blowing her nose once more in the balled-up tissue in her hand. "I get one chance. I… I won't mess it up, House," she tremulously promised.

House exhaled heavily and looked away before mumbling, "You can come over Saturday at 5 p.m. and meet her."

Reaching in his pocket, he pulled out his business card to RE, which he'd already written his phone number on the back of incase he did decide to give her a shot at this. Extending it to her, he said, "The home phone number is on the back if you need it."

She took it from him, only glancing briefly at the card before returning her eyes to him and nodding.

House nodded and then broke eye contact, turning to leave.

"House," she managed to say before he left the room, getting to her feet.

He came to a stop and then looked down at the carpet, pursing his lips before slowly turning back towards her and gravely meeting her eyes. He didn't say anything, just waiting for her to speak.

Cuddy licked her bottom lip and then bit it before asking, "Can I… Can I know her name?"

Oh brother, House thought drolly to himself. He had known this was coming but he'd been putting it off as long as possible. For a split second he wished he'd picked a name that meant nothing at all. But he hadn't. Instead, he'd picked a name that meant _too_ much. That _said_ too much. But there was no avoiding it. He might as well get it over with. Exhaling through his nose, he reluctantly said, "I call her Evie. But… her full name is Georgia Eve House."

And with that he broke eye contact and turned, ignoring her audible gasp as he headed for the door.

"But…" Cuddy sputtered, taking a shaky step after him, feeling suddenly lightheaded. "But you said you don't ever think about Georgia!"

House had stopped moving when she spoke up but he didn't have a suitable reply to offer her. He dropped his head forward slightly after a second, his mouth tightening into a straight line.

"Everybody lies," he finally muttered before taking the final few steps to the door and pulling it open, stepping out of her house and pulling the door closed behind him.

Cuddy's knees started to buckle as the door shut behind him and she reached for the bookcase nearby to steady herself before slowly lowering herself into a nearby chair. If Cuddy had even allowed herself to guess at what kind of name House would choose, she would have suspected a hundred other names but never that one. She'd expect something gender-neutral or something… off the wall. Maybe a name springing from a medical condition he found fascinating. But not something… feminine and… full of meaning. For both of them. _Georgia Eve House_. That was their baby's name. Eve she understood. House… loved her mother. Adored her even. As she loved and adored him. But… He'd given their baby the first name of Georgia. _Georgia._ Then he… "_Everybody lies,_" he'd said. And that meant he… he _did_ think about Georgia. He… _had_ remembered. He hadn't needed her to jog his memory. He'd… never actually _forgotten._ House… House had named their child after… probably the brightest spot in the history of their relationship. Her memories of Georgia had never been… tarnished by anything that House had done or… even what she'd tried to do herself. She had been unable to blight it out. And House… House had just admitted that Georgia _meant_ something to him as well. Cuddy didn't know if she could love him, or hate herself, any more than she did right now.

* * *

House entered the house and tossed his keys down on the kitchen counter as he passed it, heading for the living room where he assumed he'd find his kids. Evelyn was sitting on the couch with Evie in her arms, feeding her a bottle, Rachel curled up asleep on the cushion beside her, her head resting against Evelyn's leg. House smiled at the image his oldest daughter presented and then turned his attention to Evelyn and the baby.

Evie caught sight of him and made a popping noise as she broke the suction-hold she had on her bottle, formula dribbling from each side of her mouth as she cooed and flailed her arms excitedly, her feet kicking in little bursts. House reached for her and lifted her up, taking the bottle from Evelyn once he had her nestled in his arms, returning it to her mouth before switching his hold on it to the other hand, freeing him to smooth her hair and stroke her cheek. He choked down the emotion within him at coming home to her after the verdict he'd given Cuddy, allowing her an opportunity to be a part of Evie's life. He seriously hoped she wouldn't blow it.

"How did it go?" Evelyn asked softly.

House met her eyes and exhaled through his nose before turning and slowly lowering himself to sit next to her. "I told her she can come meet her on Saturday," he replied evenly.

Evelyn nodded slightly but remained silent a second longer. "And do you feel like you've made the right decision?" she asked, trying to determine where he was at.

"For who?" House inquired with a sigh.

She pursed her lips, considering that, but House spoke up before she could decide what to say next.

"I want what's best for my kid. I know Cuddy's your daughter and I'm not trying to upset you but honestly, I don't know whether or not what's best for my kid is Cuddy being in her life. She's got one chance. If she blows it…"

"She's a good mother," Evelyn murmured, helpless not to at least defend her a little.

"She _is_ a good mother," House acknowledged before clarifying. "To Rachel. Not to Evie."

"But she… has potential," Evelyn replied wistfully. "Don't sell her short, Greg. Give her a chance to prove herself."

House nodded, his eyes upon the baby in his arms who was slowly falling asleep, her mouth still sucking at her bottle. "I know she has potential," he mumbled. "And I'm giving her a chance. I just… I just don't trust her yet. And… this is my kid and my responsibility. If I err, I'd rather it be on the side of safety. Cuddy… as far as I'm concerned… is a huge risk."

Meeting Evelyn's sad eyes then, House shrugged, trying to lighten up. "So what does Richard call you during sex?" he asked, wagging his eyebrows at her.

Evelyn colored immediately but then smiled and as seriously as she could manage, queried, "Who said anything about Richard?!"

They both started laughing, Evelyn having to wipe away a few tears of mirth and House forcing himself to stop when Evie startled in his arms.

Shaking his head, House teased, "Grandma Cuddles, _you _are _full_ of surprises."

"I'm old, not dead," she quipped sarcastically.

He pushed himself to his feet then to go put Evie in her crib, looking at Evelyn affectionately before turning to head out of the room. Once he'd placed Evie in her crib, first making sure her diaper was dry, he closed the door and returned to the living room, limping around the coffee table to reach for Rachel, carefully picking her up.

"Come on Sleeping Beauty," he murmured when she blinked sleepily at him but then immediately nestled closer to him, her head rubbing against his shoulder and her arm coming up and around his neck, the other arm dangling down his back.

Evelyn got to her feet and followed him from the room, stopping to grab their jackets and her purse on the way out to the car. Evelyn opened the car door for him and House turned his head to the left to press a kiss to Rachel's head before carefully bending down and placing her in her car seat, adjusting her head once he had her buckled in so that it wasn't lolling forward. Brushing her hair back and behind her ear, he rubbed the back of his knuckles against her cheek before backing out of the car and carefully shutting the door.

Evelyn waited until the door was shut and then flung her arms out before stepping closer and enfolding him in them, getting up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his scruffy cheek. House slowly brought his arms around her, giving her a light squeeze before releasing her.

"Thank you for giving Lisa another chance," she murmured before releasing him.

"Eh," he muttered dismissively before quipping, "What choice do I have now that your husband knows how to find me?"

"Well," Evelyn replied, nodding in agreement. "There is that."

House rolled his eyes but said, "Night Grandma Cuddles."

"Night Greg," she responded with a smile, walking around her car to open her car door and climb in.

House waited until she started the car before he nodded, turned, and headed indoors, ready to chill in front of the TV and watch an episode or two of his favorite soap that he'd TiVo'd.

* * *

Evelyn pulled in her daughter's driveway and then parked before turning the car off. She sat there for a moment, not quite finished contemplating the situation. She had considered calling Richard on the way home to let him know of Greg's decision but had opted to put it off until tomorrow, being that he'd just moan and groan about the fact that Lisa had to wait until Saturday to see Georgia.

When the front light came on, she realized it was probably time to head inside and opened her door, climbing out before reaching for the backseat door. She unbuckled Rachel and pulled her into her arms, sighing at the fact that this used to be easier. Rachel was definitely getting bigger.

She shut the car door a moment later and headed for the house, sending her daughter a grateful look when she opened the door in anticipation of their arrival. Cuddy reached for Rachel, taking her from her mother and carrying her to her room a moment later. Once Rachel was in her pajamas and tucked in, Cuddy reached for the clothes she had been wearing.

House must have been holding her because her clothes smelled ever so faintly of him and it was enough to cause her to bury her nose in Rachel's shirt, drinking in the mixed scent of her daughter and the man Rachel had decided all on her own to call daddy. After a moment, she reluctantly set the clothes in Rachel's hamper and turned to hit the light before heading back to the living room, sinking down on the couch to the right of her mother, her body turned towards her and her elbow resting on her thigh so that she could cup her face in her hand.

Evelyn looked at her daughter and smiled softly before reaching out to pat her right cheek. "How are you?" she tenderly asked her.

Cuddy gave her a small smile and murmured, "He named the baby after you."

Evelyn's smile grew but her eyebrow rose enquiringly. "Is that _all_ he told you?" she asked skeptically.

"He named her Georgia Eve," Cuddy said breathlessly, expanding on her earlier statement as her eyes filled with tears.

"He did," Evelyn agreed, nodding slightly.

"Georgia… meant something to him?" Cuddy couldn't help asking as she wiped away the tears trickling down her cheeks.

"You _know_ it did and _still_ does," Evelyn replied, giving her daughter a pointed look.

She lifted her arm up then and Cuddy immediately straightened, let her hand fall down to the couch to adjust her position, scootching over and bringing her head down on her mother's shoulder as Evelyn dropped her arm along the back of the couch, her hand stroking through Cuddy's hair.

Cuddy sniffed and asked, "Is there hope?"

"There's _always_ hope," Evelyn murmured, pressing her cheek to the top of her daughter's head.

She sniffed again, nodding slightly.

"He loves Rachel," Cuddy said, almost awestruck just thinking about it.

"He loves Rachel _very_ much," Evelyn assented.

"And… Evie?" she asked, tentatively trying out the nickname House had used.

"I'm not sure I've ever seen a father who loved his daughter more than Greg does," Evelyn admitted.

"What about dad?" Cuddy asked skeptically, tilting her head to the side to see her mother and study her.

"Okay, well, dad's a close second," Evelyn conceded. "But your dad would have been helpless if he'd had to raise you girls alone. Greg… he's made that little baby his whole world."

Cuddy inhaled and then exhaled loudly, replacing her head on her mother's shoulder.

"Don't mess up," Evelyn wryly murmured, continuing to stroke Cuddy's hair.

"I won't," she whispered dutifully, closing her eyes for a moment to try and picture House, Rachel, and the baby… Georgia Eve, as they'd been at the park. Her… _family_. The family she'd always wanted. The family she'd just never allowed herself to dream of. The family she was now determined to make her own.

* * *

April 6th, 2011

Cameron was right in the middle of updating House on the test results regarding their patient when he interrupted and said, "Cuddy's coming over Saturday."

She immediately fell silent and stared at him, taken aback.

"Where are the MRI results?" House asked as if he'd said nothing, his hand stretched out to take it from her.

Ignoring what he'd just asked for, Cameron brought the test results to her chest and out of his reach before murmuring, "You've made a decision then? You're going to let her back in Evie's life?"

"She was never in Evie's life to begin with," he corrected. "I'm just giving her one shot to try and be."

"What does that mean exactly?" she inquired, reaching behind her to grab onto the chair and lower herself down.

"It means if she screws it up, she's done. No more chances," House replied before demanding, "Now can I have those test results?"

Cameron handed them over to him, rolling her eyes at his impatience. "This means she'll be back in your life," she softly reminded him.

House pulled the MRI scans out and placed them to the light to study them. "I know," he mumbled.

"And you're sure?" Cameron couldn't help asking.

He exhaled heavily. "Not everything's about me anymore," House muttered, his eyes studying the scan intently. "Evie… she deserves to have a mother. If Cuddy can be that… Then I won't be the one to deprive my kid of her."

Cameron pursed her lips, trying to think of an appropriate response.

"What's this mass?" House asked, pointing to a blur on the scan.

"It's not a mass," she replied, getting up to come study it next to him. "It's just a shadow on the MRI."

House shook his head. "Biopsy it," he commanded.

"House, you see things that aren't there because you want them to be," Cameron complained.

Neither one of them knew if she was just referring to the scan anymore.

"Biopsy it," he stated again, shooting her a pointed look.

She exhaled through her nose but nodded almost imperceptibly. "Fine."

House watched her leave the room and then spread the rest of the test results out on his desk to look over them, rubbing a hand over his face. He still had to tell Wilson. But that could wait for now.

* * *

It felt like she had a whole year to account for, Cuddy thought as she told Kate all that had happened in the last week, how she'd met with House twice and he'd just agreed the night before to allow her the chance to meet their child. When she was done with her update, Cuddy sat back, biting her lip, waiting for Kate to respond. Kate reached for her mug, warming her hands with it as she thought over all that Cuddy had said.

"How do you feel about it? This has happened really fast. Are you ready for Saturday?" she inquired, sipping at her tea.

Honestly, Cuddy hadn't been thinking about how she felt about it. She had been too relieved to know that House would give her this opportunity. "I don't know," she finally replied. "I think I'm ready. I mean, I was ready to see the baby last Saturday when I went to his house. I… I think I'm ready. Now you've got me a little worried."

Kate smiled. "I'm not trying to worry you," she reassured her. "I'm just trying to help you work through where you are at in this."

Silence fell between them for a moment until Cuddy started to panic. "What… What am I _supposed to do?_ Am I supposed to _bring a gift? _Would that even be _appropriate?_ What am I going to _call myself?_ Do I introduce myself as _her mother?_ _Oh,_" Cuddy groaned, her face dropping into her hands in sudden angst.

"_Relax,_" Kate instructed, a smile still hovering on her lips. "This is _supposed _to feel awkward. It's the first time you're meeting your daughter."

"I'm going to mess this up!" Cuddy declared, brushing away an errant tear. "I'm going to mess it up and that'll be it. I'll have lost my one chance with her!"

"_Lisa,_" Kate said soothingly. "_Give yourself a break_.You _can't _hold yourself to impossible standards and expect that you're going to go in there Saturday and do and say everything perfect or think that if you just keep yourself together, suddenly everything will fit into place and it'll all be okay. This is going to take time. I really don't think House is expecting you to be mother of the year come Saturday. He's probably just expecting you'll show up. Do that and I think you'll be fine."

"But what am I supposed _to do?_" she repeated, meeting Kate's gaze somberly.

"We're talking about a… six-month-old baby, Lisa," Kate reminded her. "She's not going to care about whether you bring a gift. And… you know House better than I do. I kind of think you should forego the gift. This isn't someone else's child. This is yours and after six months of being absent from her life, a gift might just come across wrong. And as for what to call yourself… that's probably something you should ask House. I would assume since he's giving you a chance, he won't have a problem with you identifying yourself as her mother. But I think it would be wise to ask."

Cuddy nodded and then licked her lips before murmuring, "He named her Georgia Eve. Eve is after my mother. Her name is Evelyn. But Georgia…"

Kate set her mug down on the desk and leaned back in her chair. "Georgia after that trip you mentioned taking with him in med school?" she asked in surprise.

"I think so," Cuddy responded, nodding, a fragile, bittersweet smile on her lips.

"Maybe that explains why he was so mad at you for bringing up Georgia in the car back in February. Maybe that's why he told you not to talk to him about Georgia," Kate said thoughtfully then, her forehead knitted in contemplation.

"You mean I… The fact that I went to Georgia, a place that had been special to us and which he'd… named our daughter for unbeknownst to me… That upset him? I somehow… treaded on his memories in… all that happened?" Cuddy asked uncertainly.

"I don't know," Kate said, shrugging. "It's a question you'd have to ask him and right now, probably one you should put off for a while, as it would seem he wants you to focus on doing what's right for the baby rather than on trying for a relationship with him. From what you've said Lisa, I think House isn't ready to open his heart to you again and it'd be best if you didn't push him. You might only succeed in driving him away. I think you _should _concentrate on building a relationship with your daughter. You _are _going to have to prove yourself to House. But that's okay, isn't it? You're willing to prove yourself and you can understand his hesitation where you are concerned, right?"

Cuddy nodded, looking down at her lap. She sighed but mumbled, "I can understand and… I'll do whatever it takes."

Kate nodded in response, fully aware of just how much Lisa had ahead of her but convinced that she was capable, if she truly would do whatever it took.

* * *

House didn't see the point in putting it off any longer. Reaching for his phone after checking on Evie in the backseat of his car as he drove home, House hit Wilson's speed-dial number and brought the phone to his ear, waiting for him to pick up.

"Hey House," Wilson said after connecting the call.

"Hey," he replied flatly.

"You're calling me to tell me you're going to give Cuddy the chance to be involved in Evie's life, aren't you?" Wilson immediately recognized from his tone.

"You read all that from 'hey'?" House asked skeptically.

"That and it's been confirmed by the fact that Cameron is calling me right now," Wilson added after glancing at his phone.

"Why am I _not _surprised?" he wryly replied.

Wilson ignored the question and somberly asked, "Are you sure about this?"

House took a minute to respond but then muttered, "She screws it up, she's done."

"Okay," Wilson accepted.

"Okay?" House queried in disbelief. "_Okay?!_ I tell you that I'm going to let Cuddy be in Evie's life and you say, _'Okay'?! _No _questioning_ my reasoning?! No _reminding_ me of my history with Cuddy?! No _admonishments_ telling me not to let her get too close? _Okay?!_"

Wilson smiled at how worked up House was getting over the fact that he'd kept his mouth shut and NOT said all that House expected him to. Turning serious, he inquired, "Why tell you once more what you already know? You've made your decision. I can respect that. As long as this is just about Evie and wanting to give her a mother, what can I say? This is just about Evie, right?"

"Yes," House gritted out through his teeth. "I'm not interested in being with Cuddy."

"Well then," Wilson replied with a shrug that House couldn't see. "What else is there for me to say?"

House fell silent. There was something not right about this. This was _not _how Wilson was supposed to handle his news. "Are you saying because I'm letting Cuddy be a part of my kid's life, you're done looking out for me?" House asked, undeniably frustrated.

Wilson scoffed. "Well now who's smoking crack?" he sardonically replied. "The minute I see that what Cuddy does or says means anything to you, or that she's getting to you, I'll be the first one in your face about it. Cameron probably right behind me. But House… you're going to be looking out for yourself, aren't you?" he added, becoming more solemn.

"Yeah," he muttered, though he had to admit at least to himself, he felt better knowing others weren't going to look the other way and abandon him now.

"When's she going to meet her?" Wilson asked then.

"She's coming over Saturday evening," House informed him.

"Do you want me over there?" he couldn't help but ask. He and Erika had plans that night but he'd cancel them if House wanted him around.

"_No,_" House protested as if that should be obvious.

"Am I still coming in the morning though?" he inquired.

"Yeah," House breathed out after a second. "That would be fine."

"Okay. I'll bring lunch," Wilson acknowledged.

"Alright, see you then," he answered, hanging up.

Wilson tucked his phone in his pocket and then got up, grabbing his briefcase and tucking some files within before stepping around his desk to hit the light switch and head home for the day. He glanced in the direction of the clinic on his way out, pausing for a moment as he contemplated this situation.

He was going to have a conversation tomorrow with Cuddy. He saw nothing else for it.

* * *

April 7th, 2011

Cuddy was sitting in her office Thursday afternoon, working on a spreadsheet when Wilson walked in.

She glanced up at him and asked, "You need me to sign off on something?"

He shook his head, pursing his lips as he looked down at the carpet, his hands in his pockets. Finally he sighed and met her gaze, taking a few more steps to bring him halfway to her desk.

That was when she knew what this was about. She should have expected this but somehow, she hadn't. She waited, biting her lip as she dropped her hands into her lap.

It's been over six months, Cuddy," Wilson began, a hard edge to his voice. "_Six months_. That baby doesn't even know _who you are!_ You want back in now; there's nothing I can do about that. That's House's call. And he might be willing to overlook the fact that you denied her and told the whole hospital that she was stillborn, because he _wants_ _what's best_ for _Evie,_ but I haven't forgotten it. And the next time you hurt him…"

Cuddy shook her head quickly, tears gathering in her eyes. "I won't," she managed to mumble.

Wilson held up a hand in protest. "You _will_," he disagreed, causing Cuddy to fall silent, physically pained by his words. "You _will_ hurt him _again_. And I'm telling you right now, when that happens, so help me…"

"I… I love him," she couldn't help crying out, wringing her hands in her lap as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Wilson scoffed in disbelief, raking a hand through his hair. "You don't _love _him, Cuddy! There isn't a _single_ thing you've done in the last couple _years_ that testifies to you _loving _him! You've just realized a little too late all you _could_ have had if you'd _ONCE_ given him a chance to make you happy! And you're scared of being alone! House is… the only one who's left in your eyes as an option to avoid ending up that way. But I'm telling you right now, Cuddy, you want to be a mother to Evie, alright. That isn't up to me. But House… House is my best friend. And you better just leave him alone. Don't screw with him. Because you don't even deserve to… clean his dirty underwear," he concluded, trying to think of something demeaning and settling on that.

Cuddy didn't say anything, staring at him in abject misery.

Wilson eyed her and then sighed and his shoulders fell slightly. Rubbing a hand over his face he took the few steps remaining to approach her desk, his voice softening considerably when he next spoke. "I care about you Cuddy. I do. And I really _hope_ that you are going to prove yourself and love that baby the way she deserves to be loved. I… would even go so far as to say I wantthat for _you. _But please listen to what I'm saying and don't take the fact that I care about you to mean I'll support you if this ends up being all about winning House over so that you have _someone_. Because Evie doesn't deserve to be used like that and House… House has suffered enough."

With that Wilson turned and walked back out of her office, the door closing almost silently behind him. And that was when Cuddy really allowed herself to cry over what he'd said and what he believed of her, that she knew she'd done nothing to disprove or negate.

* * *

House opened his front door and ruffled Trevor's hair as the boy grinned up at him before stepping in to take off his shoes and head into the living room where House already had the Xbox set up, the new game he'd picked up and told Trevor about on the table. Once he'd passed, House turned his attention to Erika, genuinely glad to see her.

She smiled and read his face easily. "Someone's happy to see me," she teased.

"Don't kid yourself," he quipped, but the smile didn't leave his face.

She laughed and then asked, "Are we doing pizza tonight or are you cooking?"

"Stir fry. It's almost ready to go. I just need to know: chicken, beef, or shrimp," House replied. "I know Trevor's going to want chicken. What about you?"

Erika considered the question and then asked, "What are you having?"

"Half shrimp, half beef," he informed her.

"Sounds good to me," she agreed. "I'll do the same. Where's Evie?"

"She's in the kitchen in her highchair. She just ate. Want to change her diaper for me?" House asked hopefully, the look on his face hinting that it would be a nasty one.

Erika groaned but nodded her consent. Hearing car noises, she rolled her eyes, looking in the living room as she passed to note that Trevor had already started up a game. "Want me to tell him to head for the table?" she asked House, following him into the kitchen.

"Nah," he said dismissively. "We can eat in there tonight."

"Okay," she replied before unbuckling the baby who smiled and started babbling at her the minute she came into view.

"Someone else is happy to see me," Erika murmured as she adjusted Evie in her arms.

"Hi sweetheart," she cooed before carrying her out of the room for her diaper change.

* * *

House carried their plates into the living room ten minutes later, each made to order, joining Trevor, Erika, and Evie there. Trevor paused his game when Erika instructed him to and they all ate together, Evie rolling about on the floor, playing with several of her toys.

Afterwards, Erika helped House bring the dishes into the kitchen while Trevor started his game back up.

"Evie's mother is coming over Saturday night," House mumbled out of the blue.

Erika's eyes widened in shock and she stared mutely at him.

House looked at her, trying to gauge her reaction to his announcement. When she said nothing, he rolled his eyes and grunted, "What? What are you thinking?"

"Nothing," she replied easily. "I'm not thinking anything. I'm listening to what you're telling me and I'm… waiting to hear you expand on that announcement."

"_Come on!_ _Everyone_ has an opinion! I'm telling you that I'm letting Evie's mother back in my life, _to an extent,_ and not getting any reaction at all from you! You _told _me to stay away from her! You said you don't want to see me _suffer!_ Don't make me _ask_ you what you _think!_"

Instead of reacting the way House expected, Erika started laughing. "_House_, you're a _big boy!_ You can make your own decisions! _Now_ who wants who to hold their hand?!" she teased, referring back to what he'd said before her first date with Wilson.

House scowled, displeased that she wasn't interested in joining up with the 'Save House from Cuddy' bandwagon, even as ridiculous as that was.

Erika sighed heavily despite her smile and tucked her hair back behind her ear. "Listen," she began, her tone now serious. "I hear what you are saying. And you just said you're allowing her back in your life _to an extent_. I _know_ you, House. I watch you with your daughter and I don't have to ask you to know why you're doing this. This _is _about Evie, isn't it?"

He nodded once, his eyes going from her face, to the floor, and then back to her face again.

"Okay. That makes sense to me. And anyway," she replied in a carefree manner. "I've got your back."

The corner of his mouth curved up and Erika was glad to see it. For good measure she asked, "So I should step up my cardio kickboxing routine, huh?"

House rolled his eyes but smiled, shaking his head before going back towards the living room to check on his kid. Erika watched him go, slightly amused but also meditative about the situation. Saturday night. Huh. Life was about to get a little more interesting.

* * *

April 8th, 2011

Cuddy walked into her office Friday morning, set her briefcase down, and then headed for her desk, walking around it and leafing through the messages sitting there for her to respond to that had come in since the night before. She hadn't even sat down when there was a knock at the door and she looked up to see Chase entering.

"I hear you got called in at four this morning to perform surgery on one of our major donors," she said sympathetically, reading his exhaustion.

"Yeah," he responded wearily.

"Do you need me to sign off on something?" she asked then, about to take a seat.

"No," Chase muttered, shaking his head from side to side. "I'm here about House."

Cuddy stared at him, thunderstruck. Slowly she lowered herself into her chair. "What about him?" she asked, confused but mostly fearful that something had happened to him.

"Listen, Cameron's my wife and in a month, we'll have a kid of our own," he began somberly. "The last thing I need right now is to have her get stressed out over how you're going to screw House over this time. It's not good for her and it's not good for the baby."

Cuddy couldn't believe this. Two days in a row. Wilson she understood, but Chase too? It was like House had an impenetrable fortress built around him now, guards stationed on all sides to keep him safe from the enemy. That was fine. That she could appreciate. Except for the _small_ fact that _she _was considered _Enemy #1_. She didn't even know how to respond.

Biting her lip, her forehead knit and she quietly asked, "There's something wrong with her pregnancy?" She knew she was deflecting but she didn't want to have to deal with the fact that he considered _her_ a _threat _to _House_.

Chase looked at her, his irritation evident in his expression. He wryly chuckled, shaking his head, his hands settling on his hips. "_No_," he said more forcefully. "There's nothing _wrong. _But that isn't to say that something couldn't go wrong if my wife has to worry about House because you're trying to get back in the picture. I don't like that my wife had to leave PPTH because she couldn't be around you and your hostility anymore. But I accepted it and encouraged her to do what she needed to. She's happy now. And part of why she's happy is that she sees on a regular basis how House is doing. If you're going to make him miserable, that will in turn make Cameron miserable. And I'm not about to stand by and watch that happen again. So… consider yourself warned."

Cuddy was beginning to think she knew how House must have felt all those years when _everyone_ just waited for him to fail and _no one_ believed in him. She was being dressed down by an employee who was around fifteen years younger than her but she was too stunned by his words to even react to that. Instead Cuddy watched as Chase turned and headed back towards the door. And that's when realization dawned on her and she comprehended what Chase had not said directly but implied.

"Cameron's working… for House?" she said quietly, almost in a whisper.

Chase froze before shaking his head in disbelief at how clueless Cuddy was. After a moment he turned around and gave her a hard look. "One more thing," he stated evenly. "Cameron's been there for Evie from the beginning. When you_ weren't._ Besides Wilson, she was the one helping House prepare for that little girl's arrival. She's been there to babysit, to baby-proof the house, to celebrate holidays and milestones. She loves that baby as if Evie were her own. She's put in some of the time and energy that you didn't bother yourself with. So I expect you to treat her and her relationship with Evie with some respect."

And with that Chase turned and walked out, leaving Cuddy to grapple with just how involved Cameron had been in both House and her daughter's life. Not only did no one believe her capable of loving House and of being loved by House, but everyone had stepped in to fill her spot when she'd walked out. She wondered if there would even be room for her in House and Evie's life now. Tomorrow she was supposed to find out. But suddenly tomorrow seemed too soon to be confronted with how much she'd really lost out on.

-----

"_**If I could take you away  
Pretend I was queen  
What would you say?  
Would you think I've unraveled?  
'Cause everybody's got their way I should feel**_

**_And everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love  
But I want, want, want to be your love  
Want to be your love for real  
Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love  
But I want, want, want to be your love  
And be your love for real  
Want to be your everything_**

**_Everything..._**

**_And everything's falling, and I am included in that  
Oh, how I try to be just okay  
Yeah, but all I ever really wanted  
Was a little piece of you_**

**_And everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love  
But I want, want, want to be your love  
Want to be your love for real  
And everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love  
But I want, want, want to be your love  
And be your love for real_**

**_Everything will be alright  
If you just stay the night  
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away  
Please, sir, don't you walk away, don't you walk away, don't you walk away_**

**_And everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love  
But I want, want, want to be your love  
Want to be your love for real  
And everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love  
But I want, want, want to be your love  
Want to be your love for real_**

**_And everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love  
But I want, want, want to be your love_**

**_And be your love for real  
And everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love  
But I want, want, want to be your love  
Want to be your love for real  
Be your love, your love, love, love_**

**_Be your love"_**

* * *

Song: "Be Be Your Love" (Rachel Yamagata)


	67. I Shall Believe

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(So I'm going to apologize right now. Sorry! You are about to be frustrated! I tried to write it differently... tried to think of how to make you happier... but this is the way things went down. What do you do? If you hate me by the end of the chapter, you can wait until after reading tomorrow's chapter to review. :) That's the best I can do for you.)_

_

* * *

_April 9th, 2011

8 a.m.

While normal people slept, Cuddy spent most of Friday night sitting in the living room, nervously biting her lip until it bled and worrying over what tomorrow would bring. Evelyn spotted her immediately after coming downstairs Saturday morning while on her way towards the kitchen to make some coffee. Coming to a halt, she turned in the hallway and then entered the living room, Cuddy's eyes falling on her only when her mother was standing directly in front of her.

Evelyn took in the fact that Cuddy was still dressed as she had been when she herself had turned in the night before, noted the bags under her eyes, and the now dry tear streaks. "You didn't sleep at all?" she asked her daughter in concern.

Cuddy slowly shook her head. "I couldn't," she mumbled.

"Did you even try?" Evelyn pressed in disbelief.

"I can't stop thinking," she replied quietly.

Evelyn exhaled heavily and then sat down on the arm of the chair Cuddy was curled up in. "What are you thinking about?" she inquired finally.

Cuddy looked up at her mom and tremulously asked, "What if my coming into the picture now isn't in her best interest?"

"What are you _talking about?_" Evelyn queried in bewilderment.

She licked her lips and murmured, "All these other people have been there, a part of her life from the beginning, and I… haven't been. She doesn't _know _me, she won't _know _who I am, she doesn't even… miss me right now. She doesn't know _any differently_. What if I go in there and I do… _screw it all up?_ What if House and everyone else _are_ right to question whether I can do this? Whether I can be the mother she needs? You said she's a happy baby and that House has been a wonderful father to her. What if I go in there and… make her miserable?"

Evelyn stared at her daughter for a moment and then pushed herself off the chair, walking towards the kitchen. Cuddy watched her go, befuddled and a little hurt that her mother would just walk away when she needed her. But Evelyn returned a moment later, the cordless phone in hand. She handed it to Cuddy, who took it but watched her mother's face for an explanation.

"Call Greg and tell him you don't want to be involved. Tell him you've changed your mind and Georgia's better off without you. Tell him she's already got all the people she needs in her life. Tell him… tell him to… have a nice life or something," Evelyn stated without emotion.

Cuddy tossed her head, her eyes welling with tears. If she hadn't been upset before, there was no question that she was now. "No! That's not what I want! That's what you think I should do?! Just walk away?! Pretend like I don't have a daughter out there?!"

"Why not?" Evelyn flatly said with a shrug. "It's worked for you this long."

Hot, angry tears were making their way down Cuddy's face as she recoiled from her mother. "It _HASN'T_ worked! I'm _MISERABLE!" _she objected, her eyes flashing.

"Well, but you like being miserable," Evelyn pressed, her lips pursing nonchalantly.

"I _HATE_ IT! I don't _want_ to be _miserable_ the _rest_ of my life!" Cuddy argued, furiously swiping away tears.

"Oooooh," Evelyn said smoothly, drawing it out before casually adding, "Huh. Well, maybe you could go find another man out there to get you pregnant and you could just… I don't know. Have another child to replace this one so it can be like she never existed. One's as good as another, right?"

"Mother!" Cuddy declared in horror, getting to her feet. "You _can't _just _replace a child!"_

"Why not? If you can replace a mother, why not a child?" Evelyn asked pointedly.

The wind went out of Cuddy's sails and she sank back into her chair, trembling with all the emotions the past few minutes had stirred up.

"You're _tired_," Evelyn stressed. "You haven't slept at all and your judgment is _impaired_. I don't know who has been talking to you and somehow made you believe Georgia's better off without you but she's not. And there isn't a _quota_ for how many people a baby can have in their life before reaching capacity. You aren't going to make that baby miserable, though if you don't _stop choosing_ to be miserable yourself, you _will _probably make Greg miserable enough to send you on your way. Where is that confident, 'grab the bull by the horns' daughter I raised? You can feel sorry for yourself the rest of your life for all the bad choices you've made and all the hurts you've caused, or you can go out there and make better choices while healing those hurts. You're a doctor for goodness sake!"

"I'm an Administrator," Cuddy mumbled. "House says I haven't been a real doctor in years."

Evelyn scoffed in annoyance and declared, "Fine! Then go administrate! But _do something!_ And frankly my dear, pity _doesn't_ become you."

Cuddy moodily handed the phone back to her mother and Evelyn sighed before saying a little more compassionately, "_Honey,_ you're a _great _mother to Rachel. And you can be _just as good_ a mother to Georgia. But you _need_ to give yourself a _chance!_ Nobody expects you to go in there today and be able to know from one glance at that child, everything about her. Nobody expects you to make up for the past six months in the span of one night. _You're_ the one with the unrealistic expectations and _you've_ got to lower them to what's reasonable. Now… go close your blinds, get in your pajamas, and take a sleeping pill if you have to so that you can get some rest. I've got Rachel and I won't let you oversleep. But you need to take care of yourself so that you can go be a mommy to this baby. You're the only mommy she has, whether or not she knows you now. Tonight you can start being the one she needs. I promise you, you're not going to screw this up if you give yourself half a chance to love her as much as you want to."

Cuddy took a deep breath and then slowly nodded, reaching for a tissue to dry her eyes and blow her nose before she got to her feet, heading for her bedroom. Evelyn watched her go, shaking her head. No matter how old they were or how big they grew, one's babies remained one's babies forever.

* * *

11 a.m.

House looked up from where he stood in the kitchen, Evie in his arms, as Wilson entered, setting his jacket, keys, and a bag containing lunch down on the dining room table as he passed. House turned the baby over to him quite willingly before retrieving the formula from the cabinet and the clean bottle he'd just removed from the dishwasher to prepare her bottle. Once it was ready, he handed it to Wilson and gave him the responsibility of feeding Evie before turning his attention to what his friend had brought in the bag.

"How are you?" Wilson asked, taking a seat at the table with Evie and reaching for the bag of chips House had just opened.

"Quit worrying. I'm fine," House grumbled while unwrapping the Reuben sandwich Wilson had brought him and passing Wilson's sandwich to him a moment later.

Wilson scrutinized his friend but shrugged, letting the response go. "Has my niece started crawling yet?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Not yet," House replied, his eyes shifting to the baby. "But she's ready. She gets herself up and rocks back and forth. She just needs to move those hands forward and she'll be off."

"I guess it's nice that Cuddy won't have missed that," he responded casually.

"Yeah," House muttered dismissively in reply, taking a bite of his sandwich.

They ate in silence for a while and then House gruffly asked, "What should I dress Evie in?"

"You mean you don't have a t-shirt with an appropriate phrase for this occasion already picked out?" Wilson quipped.

House rolled his eyes, successfully fighting a smile. "Unfortunately they were all out of the shirts that said, 'Are You My Mother?'"

Wilson laughed and at that point House did smile, shaking his head a minute later. "Just… tell me how I am supposed to dress her," he demanded finally.

"Dress her however you want," Wilson replied, making a face. "What? You want to make a good impression?! On Cuddy?!"

House huffed out a breath but muttered, "_I_ don't want to make a good impression. I just… want Cuddy to see what she's been missing out on and I… want her to recognize that my kid should have been worth her time and energy _before_ this."

"House, you can dress her up in Versace or you can leave her in a diaper and a stained t-shirt," he threw out. "It won't matter. Evie's going to make Cuddy sit up and take notice regardless. She'll realize no matter what Evie's dressed in just how much she's missed out on. It's… Cuddy."

"Still," House mumbled, looking away. "Help me out."

Wilson mulled it over in his head and gave his suggestion. "Go with the cornflower blue dress. It brings out her eyes the most."

"_Cornflower_ blue?" House asked skeptically, his mood changing from a moment before. "Did you just say _cornflower?_ You are actually specifying the _hue?_ Wilson, you _are_ a girl trapped in a man's body."

"And _THIS _is why I don't help you," Wilson muttered in annoyance. "I only know what it's called because Cameron showed it to me when she bought it before Christmas and mentioned it to me."

House smirked and shook his head, not buying it. "Is cornflower your favorite shade, Wilson? Or do you prefer aquamarine? Robin's egg? Teal? Celadon?"

"Celadon is a green, not a blue," Wilson immediately replied.

House stared at him and Wilson sighed before looking away. "Just dress Evie in the blue dress Cameron gave her," he declared in frustration.

"That's all you had to say in the first place," House dryly remarked. "Instead you go on and on about _cornflower_ blue."

"Oh shut up!" Wilson instructed under his breath.

"Now, now! Don't yell, dearest. Not in front of the children," House snarked, enjoying the opportunity to rag on his best buddy, for it served its purpose well, allowing him to burn off some of the tension he felt inside.

Just then Wilson's pager went off and he passed Evie to House before grabbing it and checking the screen. "Crap," he muttered. "I've got a patient who just got admitted through the ER."

"Good of you to come," House quipped.

Wilson shook his head and then dialed a number. "Erika," he said a moment later. "I have to go in to the hospital but I'm hoping it won't take too long. Would you mind meeting me in town at two instead of me picking you up?"

House listened to Wilson's side of the conversation as his friend pulled his jacket on and grabbed his keys.

When he hung up, Wilson turned to House and said, "Sorry I can't stay. If you want I can call you tonight and find out how it went."

"No big deal," House replied, shaking his head. "Go do what you have to do to kick cancer to the curb so you don't have to bail out on your date. At least one of us should be enjoying the opposite sex tonight. I'll call you if I need you to come pry a smoking gun from my lifeless fingers."

"How reassuring," Wilson dryly muttered. "I'll pull out that dress for you on my way out," he added, tickling Evie's neck before he turned and walked out of the room.

House heard the door close a couple minutes later and sighed before pushing his chair back and adjusting Evie in his arms. "Well kid," he murmured, "Looks like it's you and me for a few hours. What do you say to a bath before you take your next nap?"

Evie chortled and House took that as a yes, leaving the remains of lunch on the table to be cleaned up later as he headed for the bathroom with Evie on his shoulder.

* * *

3 p.m.

House stared at Evie who stared right back at him from where she sat upright on the changing table. He frowned, trying to decide what to do with her hair. In the end, after doing a ponytail right on the top of her head that made her look way too much like a dark-haired Pebbles from the Flintstones, two pigtails, one on either side of her head, and then some barrettes that Cameron bought and House still had no idea how to fasten properly, he gave up, using her baby brush and a little water to smooth it out, fully aware of the fact that it would pop up in tufts here and there the minute it dried. He even went so far as to try a headband. But Evie objected to that, reaching up and valiantly tugging on it until she succeeded in pulling it askew, forcing him to redo her hair all over again minus appendages.

Deciding it was too early to put her dress on, in case she had an accident or spit up, he carefully pulled a t-shirt over her head and settled on that and the diaper until 4:30 rolled around.

* * *

4 p.m.

Evelyn had watched Lisa come and go from the living room in a different outfit every five minutes for the last hour. It was starting to make _her_ feel sick to her stomach. She was just thankful that Lisa had slept until just after noon. If the whole day had been like this, Evelyn would have pulled chunks of her hair out by now. Getting up, she glanced at Rachel who was sitting on the floor with baby G before she headed after Lisa.

"Honey, what are you _doing?_" she asked gently from the bathroom doorway just inside Lisa's room as she glanced back into the bedroom behind her and took in the pile of clothes already strewn about the room and then turning back to Lisa, the makeup littering the bathroom counter.

"I'm trying to get ready," Cuddy said defensively, meeting her eyes in the mirror.

Evelyn took a step into the bathroom and removed the tube of mascara from Cuddy's hand. "I think this is unnecessary," she replied. "You're going to cry and then it will smudge or streak."

"It's waterproof," Cuddy argued, turning to face her mother, her hand out to take it back.

"_Lisa,_" Evelyn said softly. "You look _beautiful_. You don't _need_ it. And Georgia isn't going to care whether you have mascara on. Go. So you'll be early. You're ready. You've been ready since two."

Cuddy looked down and sighed. "I don't feel ready," she admitted. "I feel like I couldn't be any _less _ready."

"Well _in that case,_ you'll never _be_ ready. Just… _go. _The hard part is walking through Greg's front door. I promise you, after that it will all get easier. Greg isn't going to leave you high and dry. He'll work you through this," she told her daughter sternly.

"You obviously don't know House," Cuddy responded doubtfully.

"And _you_ don't have enough faith in him," Evelyn replied, crossing her arms to stare pointedly at her daughter.

Cuddy huffed out a breath but mumbled, "Alright. I'll go."

Evelyn stepped aside to clear the way for her, motioning for her to pass and turning off the bathroom light. Cuddy walked through the house and entered the living room, giving Rachel a kiss before shooting her mother one more hesitant look. Evelyn smiled and shook her head but reached for Cuddy's purse, holding it up and extending it to her. Once Cuddy took it, Evelyn reached out and cupped her face in her hand. "Go enjoy your daughter," she murmured before pressing a kiss to her cheek.

Cuddy inhaled a ragged breath but nodded, reaching for the doorknob and stepping outside a second later. Evelyn watched her walk to her car, waiting until she backed out of the driveway before closing the door. She smiled then, thinking about how long this day had been in coming. Now she only hoped Lisa would get through it in one piece.

* * *

4:45 p.m.

Cuddy pulled in House's driveway, parking all the way at the top. She sat there in her car, unable to talk herself into opening the door to climb out. She was early. She had fifteen minutes to pull herself together before House expected her. So she sat. And she thought, trying to take deep breaths and not break down now.

She tried to work out how she'd make her presence known. Did she knock? Tap the door with her knuckles? Ring the doorbell? Just hope he'd answer the door for her automatically in expectation of her arrival? No, there were more important things to consider. This was inane.

So she decided to work through a greeting; trying to come up with something appropriate to say to the child she'd walked away from; something that was a worthwhile opening line that wasn't blasé or thoughtless, something that wouldn't make her feel like crap for saying anything OR incite House to anger OR into questioning her sanity. How _was_ she supposed to introduce herself? _"Hi sweetheart, I'm your mommy."_ But was an endearment appropriate? Would House be irritated by her displaying affection for a baby she'd abandoned? She closed her eyes, physically pained by her uncertainty. Try again. _"Hi baby, I'm your mama."_ No. Maybe she should use her name. _"Georgia, I'm your mother."_ Uh-uh. That was far too formal. She'd sound like she was eighty years old. Cuddy tried every combination she could think of and _nothing_ _worked_. At that point she became so frustrated she started to cry. And once she started, she couldn't stop. She _was _a _disappointment, _even to herself. A first-rate _failure_ to motherhood. _What had she been thinking to believe she stood a chance in this?_

* * *

5:05 p.m.

She wasn't coming. That was House's conclusion. Cuddy should have been here five minutes ago and she wasn't. Cuddy was always prompt. Either she didn't care enough to be prompt for this, which made him really angry, or she wasn't coming because she'd once more decided Evie wasn't worth it. And that thought was enough to make House furious. Furious enough that he wanted to throw something. Or slam his fist through a wall. Instead he walked over to the window, hating himself for it a second later when he didn't see any sign of her, hating himself at the realization of just how much this had meant to him.

Cradling Evie closer, he tried to process, tried to breathe, tried to cool down. Maybe something had happened to slow her down. Maybe Rachel had been cranky. Maybe Evelyn had gone somewhere and Cuddy had to wait for her to return so that she could leave. Maybe she failed to fill her gas tank and ran out on the side of the road somewhere. Maybe she was stuck in traffic. Maybe she got in a fender bender. He reached for his cell phone, entering her number. But he cancelled it out before he could hit talk and have the call go through. Maybe she _just wasn't coming._

He wasn't going to do this. He wasn't going to be the _stupid_ victim and show her just how much power she had over him if she had just decided not to come. She'd come or she wouldn't come. There were only two alternatives. House almost hoped she'd been in an accident. Not a major one. Just a small one. Just something that would give her an excuse for being late. Because right now, he wasn't even sure he'd open the door to her if she did show her face.

* * *

5:45 p.m.

Cuddy didn't know how she'd gotten to this point but she was so worked up now, she couldn't control her breathing. She knew she was having a panic attack. She could tell by the ragged sound of the air leaving her lungs, the fact that she couldn't suck in enough air to fully inflate them, and the racing of her heart. She clawed at the door unsuccessfully for almost a minute before she succeeded in getting it open. Then she stumbled out of the car and leaned against the trunk, bent over as she tried to count slowly backwards from fifty to distract herself from the situation enough to regain physical control of her body's responses. By the time she could breathe a little more easily, she was too unsteady to move away from her car. She stood there with her eyes tightly closed, trying to get her thoughts on something else so that hopefully she'd be able to approach House's door before the night was over.

* * *

6:15 p.m.

House made dinner for himself because it gave him something to do as he waited, something inside of him not wanting to accept the situation for what it was. He tried to think of what he could make that would take _a lot_ of time to prepare in case he had _a lot_ of time to burn and finally he decided to make pizza from scratch, trying out a recipe he'd had on standby for some time. But he couldn't force himself to put Evie down either, which she appeared perfectly content with. Kneading dough with one hand required him to get a little creative, but there was something almost comforting about being able to pound out his anger and bury it right in the dough. He wasn't quite sure what it would do to the dough but it made him feel a little saner.

While the dough sat inside the slightly warmed oven to rise, House got to work slicing tomatoes one-handed, which required a lot of skill since the tomato wanted to move unless he brought the knife down perfectly. When Evie finally did become a bit restless, he washed his hand and then decided he might as well make her a bottle as she was probably getting hungry herself. He had figured he'd let Cuddy feed her tonight. He had thought it made sense and that she'd like that. But since that wasn't going to happen, he wasn't going to put it off any longer. After all, there was no reason Evie should have to be kept waiting.

Suddenly he was glad she had no clue what tonight was supposed to be about. It meant she wouldn't be the one disappointed if Cuddy thoroughly and unforgivably screwed it up, never showing.

* * *

7 p.m.

Cuddy didn't have the first clue what time it was, her purse and cell phone being inside the car, but she knew she'd blown it. She knew House had to be royally pissed off at her, and yet she couldn't force herself to go home and admit she'd failed OR make her way to the front door and beg his forgiveness. Doing either she was certain would result in another breakdown. So instead she paced in his front yard, trying to process, trying to figure out _what_ to do at this point and _how _to do it in a way that would not result in worsening the situation. She wanted her mother there to force her to move forward – to give her the necessary push to propel her up onto the porch. She wanted Kate to walk her through it and help her remember why she felt she _should_ be involved now. But she had neither one of them with and deep down inside, Cuddy knew she really needed to just do this on her own. Unfortunately, her self-doubt was now the size of a mountain and she was short of breath for the climb.

All she could think about right now was the fact that somewhere within the house behind her was a baby she'd turned her back on. If she could even claim that, since she'd never faced her in the first place but had scorned her, betrayed her, been jealous of House's desire to have her, his willingness to leave PPTH and her along with it behind in order to raise this child on his own. She had walked, no, _ran away_ from her, leaving her motherless and… rejected like a runt of the litter that there wasn't enough milk to feed. She'd done all of it without a single thought regarding what was best for anyone else other than what was in Lisa Cuddy's best interests at the time. She'd gone home a hypocrite right from the beginning, loving Rachel, raising Rachel, not once caring what was happening with her other child, not once asking herself if she shouldn't be interested in her more than she was.

As if it was yesterday she suddenly heard House's mother's voice coming from the answering machine, _"Your daughter needs you! Would you pick up?! You're her mother for goodness sake! How can you abandon her like this?! This is unacceptable! Answer the phone!"_ And she… hadn't. She hadn't answered the phone. She hadn't done anything except called House and told him to get his mother off her case. And something about how… it wasn't her problem if House couldn't handle being a parent. She… didn't even want to imagine how _that_ had made him feel. _She'd _been the one incapable of being a parent to their child.

Cuddy knew she was guilty of what really was unacceptable; sticking to her determination to abandon her child completely, callously not caring if she was needed, unconcerned by the knowledge that she was the baby's mother and out of all people, _should _have been the one there to care for her and love up on her and… nurse her the way Cuddy had always thought she would a child born through her flesh.

How could she even hope to make up for the heinousness of her cruelty? How could she justify going up to that door and asking House to please let her come inside and look upon the child she had been so wretched towards? It didn't even matter now that she'd already asked for just that and he'd agreed to give her a shot. Truth was, Cuddy couldn't forgive herself enough to allow herself an opportunity to do what was right this late in the game and confront her failures within House's front door. She was standing in her own way. And while Cuddy could recognize that, she didn't know how to slay her own demons when they'd grown to be of this magnitude.

* * *

8 p.m.

House settled Evie in her baby bouncer, placing the pizza in the oven five minutes later. He didn't know what the point was. He had no appetite whatsoever. But it was something to do and it did provide a distraction. He could always eat it for breakfast in the morning.

Once more he picked up his home phone, checking for a dial tone. It was working fine. She just wasn't calling. He'd check his cell phone but he hadn't yet given Cuddy the number, not to mention the battery had died an hour ago.

Turning to Evie, he leaned in to bring his face close to hers, rubbing his scruffy cheek against her face just enough to get a reaction, chuckling when she mouthed at his cheek, trying to taste him. Drawing back, he looked at her, internally counting off all the ways in which she was perfect and all the things about her that Cuddy could have taken pleasure in if she'd just come tonight.

His anger melted a little then. Cuddy didn't know what she was missing. But she _was_ missing out. And somehow he couldn't help but feel sorry for her there.

* * *

9 p.m.

It was dark. It was dark and cold and yet here she stood, in the middle of House's front yard. Cuddy sighed, knowing she'd been here a long time, which also meant she'd kept House waiting a long time. Or he'd given up long ago. But she thought she could still do this. She thought she could eventually get up the courage to go up to the door and knock. His outside light was still on. That had to be a good sign. That had to mean he hadn't entirely dismissed the possibility of her coming. She just… needed to figure out a way to explain why she _hadn't _yet gotten to the door.

She turned, drawing in a shaky breath, and headed for the porch. But when she got there, she just couldn't do it. Turning abruptly, she headed back to the center of the yard. He was going to be angry. He was going to slam the door in her face. He was going to say she'd blown her one chance and now it was over. And how could she handle hearing that after coming this far? After getting to the point where she _did _want to be in her daughter's life but just… didn't know _how _to practically carry that out? How did she get House to recognize that she _needed him_ to help her _through this?_ Maybe… maybe there was a way. She just had to come up with it.

* * *

Evie was asleep for the night. That was reality. That was truth at its plainest. House carried her into her bedroom, not bothering to turn on her light, using the light spilling in from the hallway to awkwardly undo the buttons on the back of her dress before laying her down on the changing table and slipping it over her head. He changed her diaper, his hand caressing her little belly affectionately as she sighed in her sleep. Turning, he pulled open a drawer and took out the softest pajamas she had, slipping her legs into them before lifting her up carefully enough to slide it underneath her, tucking her arms in a minute later and doing up the row of snaps on the front. He set her dress aside, frowning his displeasure at the waste of going to so much trouble to make sure Evie would be dressed in something that might bring Cuddy pleasure. Then he reached for Evie, carefully picking her back up. Rather than laying her down in her crib though, he headed for her rocking chair, settling her against him so that her soft baby breaths landed on his neck in little puffs.

Evie didn't care that Cuddy hadn't shown. He knew that. But he cared. He cared way more than he should. Wrapping his arms securely around the baby, he cradled her head in the palm of one hand, his other hand on her diaper-clad rump. Clearly asking the judge to hold off until Evie was a year old to terminate Cuddy's parental rights had been a waste of his energy. He wondered what Evelyn would say about _this. _Not that he had any intention of calling her. The last thing he wanted to hear was Cuddy's excuse for not coming.

* * *

9:45 p.m.

House called it quits. He was done waiting. She'd had almost five hours and if she hadn't come by now, she wasn't going to. Getting up from the rocking chair, he laid Evie down in her crib and then covered her with the blanket, smoothing it out over her before brushing her hair out of her face. Casting one final regretful look her way, he turned and headed out of her room, pulling the door closed behind him. He headed for the bathroom before returning to the foyer. He paused, staring at the door, and then dropped his gaze. He could pretend all he wanted but reality was a bitch. Grimacing, he reached out and hit off the outside light. It was over. She hadn't shown.

* * *

The light went off behind Cuddy and she slowly turned around, terrified that she'd run out of time. She stared at the darkened doorway, hoping House would turn the light back on, hoping that she hadn't really been so afraid that she'd allowed this to happen. But the light didn't come back on and she knew. She knew she hadn't just failed herself but failed House once again.

That thought was what broke her. She hurried towards the door, intending to pound on it until he gave her a chance to explain herself. And at that point she had to stop herself, for she recognized that it was late and… how could she pound on his door? Thinking quickly and desperately, she ran for her car, yanking the car door open to grab her purse, digging through it for her cell phone. And then she shakily located his business card, flipping it over to dial the number. She could still do this. There was still a chance. There had to be. She _had_ to trust that.

* * *

House was in the kitchen when the phone rang. It startled him but he froze, uncertain that he wanted to answer it. All the same, he hesitantly made his approach, glancing at the Caller ID. It was Cuddy. He reached for it but at the last second, jerked his hand back. He didn't want to hear her excuses. He didn't have anything to say to her right now. Yanking the cord from the jack, he welcomed the sudden silence that filled the room.

* * *

House wasn't answering. Somehow Cuddy knew he wasn't going to. But she couldn't hang up regardless, walking back across his front yard to stand there, staring up at the house. It rang and rang and rang, not even an answering machine clicking on to explain to. Cuddy finally hit the end button, not knowing what to do now. She was so close, and yet had so far to go. Sinking down to her knees in the grass, she sat there, burying her face in her hands, needing House to _NOT_ give up on her just yet. But how could she ask him to come to her now, to help her through, to invite her in? She didn't know.

-----

"_**Come to me now  
And lay your hands over me  
Even if it's a lie  
Say it will be alright  
And I shall believe**_

**_I'm broken in two  
And I know you're on to me  
That I only come home  
When I'm so all alone  
But I do believe_**

**_That not everything is gonna be the way  
You think it ought to be  
It seems like every time I try to make it right  
It all comes down on me  
Please say honestly you won't give up on me  
And I shall believe  
And I shall believe_**

**_Open the door  
And show me your face tonight  
I know it's true  
No one heals me like you  
And you hold the key_**

**_Never again  
Would I turn away from you  
I'm so heavy tonight  
But your love is alright  
And I do believe_**

**_That not everything is gonna be the way  
You think it ought to be  
It seems like every time I try to make it right  
It all comes down on me  
Please say honestly  
You won't give up on me  
And I shall believe  
I shall believe_**

**_And I shall believe_**

**_That not everything is gonna be the way  
You think it ought to be  
It seems like every time I try to make it right  
It all comes down on me  
Please say honestly  
You won't give up on me  
And I shall believe  
I shall believe_**

**_And I shall believe_**

**_I shall believe_**

**_I shall believe_**

**_I shall believe_**

**_And I shall believe_**

**_Please say honestly_**

**_You won't give up on me_**

**_And I shall believe_**

**_I shall believe_**

**_And I shall believe_**

**_I shall believe (x11)_**

**_Oh, I shall believe"_**

* * *

Song: "I Shall Believe" (Sheryl Crow)


	68. Even When I'm Sleeping

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(...............)_

* * *

10:30 p.m.

Erika looked out her window for what must have been the 153rd time that evening to stare at her neighbor's front yard. She sighed, momentarily relieved when she realized he had shut his porch light off, thinking either Evie's mother had gone inside or she had gone home. But then by the light from the streetlamp she realized, nope, she hadn't done either. She was still there in his front yard, now sitting in the middle of the lawn rather than pacing.

This had to be the most ridiculous thing she'd ever seen, Erika concluded. The woman had to have at least been there since before 8 p.m. when Erika came home. And in all that time, she'd never made it past his lawn. It was like watching a pathetic character in a terribly sad movie. She could only conclude that the woman had some serious issues entailing severe guilt to have been there this long and still not made a decision one way or the other to either go to the door or get in her car and leave.

Erika hadn't wanted to interfere. This was House's business after all and Lisa Cuddy had to make up her mind as to what she wanted. But she clearly was not making much progress and Erika didn't want to spend half the night at her window, watching the drama unfold, or worse, go nowhere. Reaching for her phone, she rolled her eyes and called House's number. But it rang and rang so she decided to try his cell instead. That yielded no results either; this time, straight to voicemail.

Rubbing her face with one hand, she sighed dramatically and reached for her bathrobe before checking on Trevor who was out cold. Then she headed downstairs but instead of going out via the front door, she flipped the lock to make sure it was secure and headed for the backdoor, thinking she'd at least try to spare the woman further embarrassment by heading through her own backyard and using House's backdoor to nudge him into doing _SOMETHING_.

Erika made her way through her own yard easily enough but the lights weren't on in House's backyard and that made negotiating her way a little tricky. Plus, even with her robe it was cold out. She wondered what Evie's mother was thinking. Even pacing had to keep up her body temperature a little. But sitting outside when the temperature after dark was still so cool? That was insane.

Erika groaned as she stumbled over a shrub she hadn't been able to make out in the dark, getting grumpier by the second. Bypassing the backdoor, knowing House kept it locked, she climbed the steps up to his deck and knocked on the glass of the breakfast nook window after she spotted him standing at the sink, polishing off a glass of water.

House turned in surprise at the rapping against the window but couldn't make out whom or what was making that noise. Hesitantly limping for the breakfast nook, he hit the light, illuminating the window and Erika's face which was staring at him, clearly annoyed. His eyebrows rose as she gestured for him to open the porch door and he headed that way, pulling it open for her.

"What are you doing out in my backyard this late at night?" he demanded, unfortunately lashing out at the wrong person.

"What is _your problem?!_" she sharply inquired, ignoring the question completely. "Is your phone _really_ not working or do you have it off the hook in a strategic effort to _drive me crazy?_ I almost killed myself on that stupid shrub in your backyard!"

House started to laugh at how irritated she was with him right now. He really needed something to take his focus off his waste of an evening. "Next time try the front door like a normal person," he dryly muttered.

"Well, I _would,_" she sarcastically retorted. "If it wasn't that _she's_ been camped out in your front yard _all_ evening long and _STILL_ hasn't gotten up the _courage_ to come to the door!"

"Who?!" he asked, momentarily caught off-guard and bewildered.

"_Evie's mother!"_ she replied, annoyed with him for being so clueless. "Now why isn't your phone working?"

He looked towards the front of the house and then back at her in surprise. "She's out there?" House asked disbelievingly.

"Didn't I just say that?" she asked caustically. "She's been out there since at least 8 p.m. when I came home. I _swear_ it's like watching one of those soap operas you love! Not that I don't appreciate the free entertainment, but this is just _RIDICULOUS!_ The woman's got some serious hang-ups if she can't make up her mind to either come to the door or turn around and go home."

"She's been out there all day? _Seriously?_" House asked, bemused and oddly relieved all at the same time. "She was supposed to come over at 5 p.m. and never showed. I finally gave up and turned off the porch light, figuring she wasn't coming. And then she called but I was pissed off and I didn't want to hear excuses so I just unplugged the house phone. My cell phone is dead. Left the battery charger at work."

Erika sighed and latched onto his arm, pulling him through the house to the foyer and on into the darkened living room. Pulling aside the curtain, she pointed out into his front yard where Cuddy still sat and from this distance they could both tell she was wiping at her eyes as if she was crying, even if her back was to them. "_THAT_ is some serious guilt, House. This is your business and all, but I don't want to be up half the night wondering and worrying that she's still out there freezing to death. Either send her home or invite her in," Erika suggested. "But make a decision. She's obviously unable to force herself into deciding on her own. Though I would hazard a guess that she called because you turned the lights out and she didn't want to risk waking the baby up by ringing the doorbell; I don't know."

House exhaled wearily and stepped back from the window with her following right behind him. "Alright, I'll deal with it," he murmured heavily.

"Good. But I… I'm going home by way of the front door. I am _NOT_ going to stagger about blindly through your backyard again," she declared.

House raised his eyebrows. "I've been _WAITING_ all evening for her to show up. You think I _care_ if she gets a little _embarrassed?_" he asked, a little put out by the circumstances.

Erika couldn't help but smile, shaking her head as she turned to make her way to the front door. "Next time, pick someone who isn't so big on drama," she threw back at him teasingly.

"Next time?!" he muttered under his breath as he turned the porch light back on so that she could see where she was going on her way home. "There isn't going to be a _NEXT_ time."

Erika laughed at his tone and opened the door to head out, shaking her head as she stepped down the porch steps.

Cuddy turned towards the house when the porch light came back on, swiping quickly at her eyes before getting to her feet. She watched the woman who had come with House to PPTH a couple months ago, Erika, descend his porch steps, dressed in a bathrobe, her pajama pants and slippers poking out at the bottom. Then she glanced behind her at House who stood in the doorway watching Cuddy, his arms crossed over his chest.

Erika looked back at him and could tell he wasn't going to cut the poor woman a break. Altering her course she headed for her and murmured, "Look, I don't know you. But you've got to either get your butt in that house or go home. There are only two options here. I'm not trying to be cruel, but make a choice." Then she turned and headed for the driveway only to freeze at the realization that she hadn't stopped to grab her keys on her way out of her house. Sighing, she closed her eyes in frustration before turning back to look at House.

"House," she called out. "I don't have my keys to get back in. Can I have your key? I'll get it back to you tomorrow."

He nodded and dug his keys out of his pocket before removing her house key from his key ring. Erika headed back in his direction, reaching out to take it once she reached the stairs.

"Good luck," she mumbled under her breath before turning and heading back down the walkway.

House focused on Cuddy then and gruffly asked, "Are you coming in or staying out? You've got one shot here. If you want this, you better decide right now."

Cuddy looked at him, her lower lip trembling, fear of screwing up further the only thing that motivated her to finally nod her head and slowly make her way to the house after realizing just how unhappy he was with her. She didn't dare look at the other woman, afraid of the reason why she'd been here with House, dressed as she had, and why she would need House's key to get back in or have a key to his home in the first place. Her mother was wrong. House was seeing someone. Cuddy wished Erika hadn't said she'd be back tomorrow. Maybe she could have deluded herself into believing she stood a shot of working things out with House if it wasn't for that. Cuddy didn't know how to deal with this on top of everything else. Her heart was breaking just at the thought that House was genuinely involved with someone and that though he'd acknowledged he loved Cuddy in some way, shape, or form, a large part of his reason for why they had no future had most definitely just walked past her. She wondered where her courage had gone. The other night she'd sworn she'd fight for him. Tonight she suddenly thought her chances dismal and the situation beyond hope.

House headed back in the house, leaving his front door open for Cuddy to follow. He waited at that point, planning to take this into the kitchen, rather than the living room for the moment. He wanted an explanation for why she'd dragged her feet and the living room, what was in many ways a sanctuary of his, with his piano and guitars there and all its pictures of Evie, both hanging on the wall and covering the coffee table, just seemed too intimate right now.

Cuddy inhaled deeply before her foot stepped across the threshold into House's home. He looked her way and motioned for her to shut the door behind her before directing her towards the dining room and on into the kitchen. Cuddy followed him somewhat hesitantly, so very uncertain about what lay ahead of her now.

"Do you want a cup of tea or anything?" he asked finally, his mercy coming into play at how cold she most certainly was.

Cuddy nodded, not so much because she felt thirsty, though she was, but because it bought her a moment to think.

"What would you like?" he inquired, already filling a teapot with water.

"Tea would be great," she replied softly when she had her voice back.

House nodded and reached in the cupboard for the assortment of teas Cameron had stocked his cupboard with for when she came over. He held it out, waiting for her to take it from him to pick through before he headed for the stove, turning on a burner after setting the teapot down.

"Have you been outside all this time?" he somberly asked. "Since 5 p.m.?"

Cuddy looked away but nodded. She'd technically been there before five. Cuddy knew she owed him an explanation but didn't really know what to say. "I…" she began, stopping to lick her lips nervously. "I meant to come up on the porch and ring your doorbell. I just… couldn't. I didn't know how."

"You need me to give you a demonstration of how to ring a doorbell?" he inquired, his voice heavy on the sarcasm as he stared at her.

"_Please,_" she mumbled, looking at her feet. "_Please,_ House. Just… _please_ be a little patient with me here."

House pursed his lips and scrubbed a hand over his face. "Evie's sleeping. She's down for the night, Cuddy. What do you want me to do here? I waited all evening for you. You've screwed this up."

"I know. And I… I was right outside," she murmured.

"But I didn't _know_ that Cuddy. Wherever you parked, I can't see the car from my front window. I thought you bailed. I thought you decided this wasn't what you wanted at all. You're going to have to just deal with the fact that right now, I don't understand and I don't know what to make of you," House finished, shaking his head.

"Do you want me to go?" she asked softly, her eyes coming up to meet his, tears reflected in her shiny orbs.

House released his breath and slowly shook his head to say that wasn't what he wanted. "I just want to understand you. Is this like… you haven't been a part of her life for _six_ months so what is _one_ more day?"

"No," she adamantly declared. "That's not what this is at all."

The teapot started whistling and House quickly turned the burner off before taking a hold of the handle and filling her mug. "You can take it to the dining room table," he offered, nodding his head in that direction.

Cuddy slipped the teabag in her mug and picked it up, carefully making her way back to the table he'd indicated.

"Where's Rachel?" he inquired nonchalantly as he followed her.

"She's at the house with my mom," Cuddy answered, setting her mug down before pulling out a chair. Her mom had been right. Getting in the front door was the hardest part. Things were improving though, weren't they? House hadn't tossed her out and… he seemed inclined to be patient with her. She wondered how to talk to him. She thought about aiming for something light and making small talk but she had no doubt he'd kill her if she started talking about the weather or how nice what she'd seen of his house was.

"You should have brought her with," he said, his tone softening. "Maybe then you would have been able to force yourself to climb the stairs to the porch, if only to keep her from freezing to death out there with you."

She sent him a grateful smile, sensing that he was trying here, even if he didn't understand her.

House thought of what Erika had said as they watched her out the living room window. "What kept you outside?" he asked, his emotions having calmed somewhat.

Vulnerable was not something she'd done successfully with House in years, though she supposed in recent weeks she'd gotten in a little practice. "I don't want to screw up," Cuddy admitted, staring down into her tea, her hands soaking in warmth from the mug. "But I… I don't know how to succeed in this, either. I know I don't deserve to be here. I don't deserve to have a second chance. I want one," she added, looking up at him now. "But I don't feel worthy of one. And that's part of my problem, I guess."

House watched her thoughtfully. He had some serious hang-ups in this and he was nowhere near forgiving her, but he did want this. He wanted it not for Cuddy, not even for himself, but he wanted it for Evie. He wanted her to have what other kids got. He wanted her not just to have a mother somewhere out there but to know her mother and have a relationship with her.

After a few minutes, House nodded and forced himself to evenly ask, "What can I do to help you?"

Cuddy looked at him in shock, her surprise then melding into gratitude. "Could you maybe… tell me about her? Tell me about what I've missed? I… want to see her. But I think I need a little help to get to that point. If… you don't mind."

House considered it and nodded. "That I can do," he agreed.

House was relieved that he only had to cover a little over six months worth of time. Frankly, it was scary just how long even six months would take him to share. He wasn't sure if it was for Cuddy's sake or Evie's that he did his best to go into great detail. He started with immediately after her birth and entering the room the nurses had taken her to, focusing just on Evie and Evie alone. He described his first glimpse of her and how Evie had his eyes but that everything else was completely Cuddy, how the baby had been perfect, how her fingers were made to play the piano like her dad, even how she needed her hair brushed right from day one because she had so much of it. He shared her measurements, her Apgar scores, how the nurse had taken pictures for him, how Evie had looked at him so pathetically while the nurse cleaned her up and how she'd cried as if it was the worst thing that could possibly happen to her. He told her how she took to a bottle immediately and about bringing her home from the hospital that day, even describing the outfit she'd worn as he figured Cuddy would probably want to know. He told her how she slept all day and then cried that night until he thought he was going to lose what remained of his sanity, the baby finally calming down when he was playing the piano with her against his chest. House shared how unwilling she was to sleep in her crib and how he had to hold her all the time at first. To his own ears he sounded like a fool but from the way Cuddy was looking at him, he believed it was worth it for her to see that he had loved their daughter right from day one.

He glazed over his mother's visit, briefly talked about her adjustment to daycare, covered what had happened during her doctor's appointments, and shared about when she'd reached what milestones. Honestly, House was surprised at how easy it was to share these details with Cuddy. But then, he was talking about his kid and that made sharing all the easier. He was proud of Evie. He couldn't help but be proud of her. And he wanted Cuddy to know he was proud of his kid. Plus, at this point, Cuddy genuinely wanted to hear all of it and somehow that _did_ matter to him.

House told her a little about her parents' visits and of Rachel, too. He skimmed over Cameron and Wilson's involvement briefly but left out Erika's presence, simply because Cuddy didn't know her, that was his own business, and because he wasn't ready to walk that path with her.

When he felt like he'd adequately caught her up, he asked the question that was the whole point of her being here. "Do you want to see her?"

Cuddy froze and then nodded, tears leaking from her eyes once again.

House almost rolled his eyes but caught himself, internally acknowledging that this was a big deal, this seeing your kid for the first time business. He pushed his chair back and headed for the doorway, glancing back to make sure she was following him. And then he led the way to Evie's room, pausing at the door to look at Cuddy again, waiting for her to give him an indication that she was up to this. When she slowly nodded, House turned the doorknob and pushed the door open, stepping inside to adjust the light switch slightly so that when he flicked the switch, the room was aglow but not overly bright. He moved aside to let her walk by him and finally House watched her, wanting to read her face and determine what she thought of his daughter.

Cuddy stepped into the room and her eyes immediately went to the crib before her. The baby's head was turned towards the wall, so all Cuddy could see through the bars was the back of her head and the curve of her ear. She choked up all the same, clenching a tissue in her fist as she tiptoed towards the crib, inhaling a cleansing breath of baby lotion and baby powder before she took the final step that would bring her up alongside it. And then she looked down upon the baby that she might never have given birth to, had House not forced her hand. She stared at her, this child that was such a miracle for so many reasons, the only child to have ever survived being in her womb, the child that she'd so easily given up at birth, the child that House was now offering her an opportunity to get to know firsthand, despite how undeserving she was. So caught up was Cuddy in drinking her in that House was the one to come alongside her and bring her hand up to catch her tears with the Kleenex within so that they wouldn't fall on the baby below and wake her. He didn't say anything, surprised to find himself awkwardly overwhelmed in this moment, a lump in his own throat. Maybe… maybe Cuddy wouldn't let him down here. Maybe she would be the mother Evie deserved. House suddenly found himself hoping for that, for all of their sakes.

Cuddy glanced his way and then took over on mopping her face with the Kleenex so that he wasn't forced to. Sniffing, she mumbled, "She's _beautiful_, House. _So very beautiful._"

House nodded, his eyes shifting from her to his daughter. "Do you want to hold her?" he offered with a shrug, deciding that disturbing Evie's sleep probably paled in comparison to being able to hold her for the first time.

Cuddy shook her head. "No, let her sleep."

"Okay," he agreed before hesitantly stating, "Feel free to stay in here as long as you want. I'm going to go unload the dishwasher."

She nodded, her eyes never leaving the baby, and House pursed his lips but turned and made his way out into the hall and back to the kitchen, knowing that if he was her, he'd want a moment alone. He could give her that much. Anyway, it was a little awkward to stand there and watch her, especially because it meant more to him than he had ever considered it would.

Cuddy wanted to reach down and touch her but she was too fearful of waking her. Instead she settled for standing there, admiring Evie's long eyelashes that fell on cheeks rosy with sleep, her sweet pouted lips, the rise and fall of her back with each breath, and her soft baby hair that looked so inviting, just begging to be touched. She took in the details of her crib, the soft baby blanket that covered her, the care and attention House had obviously put into the room he'd provided for Evie which was evident everywhere she looked. And standing there, she wondered once again how she could have ever walked away from this, not even allowing herself a chance to fall for this child that she'd carried within her for nine months.

Cuddy hurried out of the room then, pulling the door closed behind her before she began sobbing. Having heard her, House was there within seconds and without hesitation, without any thought as to what he was doing, he pulled her into his arms and just held her, allowing her to cry it out as they stood there in the hallway, his arms wrapped securely around her as she buried her face in his chest. He instinctively knew this wasn't a fight or flight instinct kicking in but the result of a long, emotionally draining experience that had culminated with a rebirth of sorts into a motherhood she'd denied herself. Holding her wasn't about forgiveness or even understanding. It wasn't done with meaningless words or reassurances that all was well. Because it wasn't. But holding her was what Cuddy needed and what House could offer, silently surrounding her with what strength he had to extend to her.

They stood there together until her sobs dissipated and her tears dried. Then House released her and moved to Evie's doorway to open the door, check one final time on her, and then turn the light off again so she was only bathed by moonlight and the soft glow coming from the nightlight.

He left the door cracked open slightly and turned back to Cuddy. Stepping around her, he opened the door to the bathroom, turning the light on for her in the off chance that she needed it to gather herself back together. Then he glanced at her before passing her and heading for the living room to wait for her there.

Cuddy watched House disappear from her view before glancing at the door he'd opened for her, recognizing that she was desperately in need of blowing her nose. She wasted no time going within and using the facilities, splashing water on her face to wash away the streaks her tears had left behind. Her eyes were red and puffy, along with the end of her nose, but that mattered little in the scheme of things.

Once she was done Cuddy headed back the way House had gone and entered the living room to find him sitting on the couch. Her eyes swept the room, taking in each detail as she avoided his eyes, embarrassed by how she'd fallen apart on him. He'd turned the fireplace on and she headed that way to warm her hands but came to a halt before a large picture of Evie hanging on the wall.

"Cameron talked me into taking Evie to the Butterfly Garden at the Bronx Zoo," he quietly explained. "She took that picture and had it framed."

Cuddy stared at it, her eyes locked on the baby who was intently staring at a butterfly which had perched on her hand, her mouth open in a soft circle as she looked at it in amazement. She drank in the little white beret tilted to the side on Evie's head, tufts of hair curling slightly around her ears and poking out from under the beret, her pale skin flawless in baby perfection, her nose petite, her lips pink like rose petals, her long eyelashes gracing wide eyes, but above all, her eyes themselves, identical to House's, pupils surrounded by liquid blue intensity and then the milky white exterior that only babies seemed blessed with.

Cuddy's hands came up of their own volition and traced over the baby's features. House watched her, his expression a strange mixture of interest, pride, and pleasure. He knew Evie was Cuddy's daughter too but at the same time, Evie was wholly his and he could not help the pride that welled up inside him when anyone admired her, but above all, in the opportunity to watch Cuddy do so for the first time, after how long and hard she'd objected to being a part of this and of loving his kid.

He didn't know if it was that or something else entirely, but suddenly he heard himself say, "Call your mother and let her know you're going to stay the night. That way you can be here when Evie wakes up in the morning. Your mom can bring Rachel over tomorrow."

Cuddy whirled around to look at him, surprised and extremely touched at his offer.

"There's a guest bedroom upstairs. You can stay there," he added casually. "If you want."

Cuddy nodded slowly, her eyes filling with tears again.

House sighed, having exhausted his supply of emotional tolerance and now giving her a pointed look before grumbling, "But the waterworks have to stop."

Cuddy immediately nodded, swiping at her eyes quickly with the back of her hand before pulling her cell phone out of her pocket to call her mom before it got any later.

Evelyn answered after a couple rings and agreed to bring Rachel over around ten the next morning.

When Cuddy hung up, House reached out to grab the photobook Cameron had made with a combination of all their photos from Evie's birth thru her first two and a half months. Then he got to his feet and turned off the fireplace before saying, "Come on."

Cuddy looked once more at the picture on the wall and followed him out of the living room and to the staircase. He led her up the first flight and then the second before turning to the left, winging another left to head for the master bedroom on the second floor.

Cuddy glanced at the other rooms curiously but was mostly caught up in being in House's presence, in his home, and being given the chance to stay the night there and a second chance to officially meet her daughter tomorrow. She followed him into the bedroom and looked around when he hit the light switch, taking in the décor and the romanticism of House having a sleigh bed. She didn't really know what to make of that. Frankly, it made her think things and want things that she probably shouldn't be thinking of at a time like this and which House would probably have no appreciation for.

House walked into the bathroom and rummaged in the drawers until he found an unopened toothbrush, some toothpaste, shampoo and conditioner, and whatever else he thought she might need. He checked quickly to make sure there were towels and toilet paper before glancing back at her where she stood in the doorway watching him. "You should have everything you need," he mumbled. "Other than pajamas. But I'll go get you something to sleep in."

Cuddy's eyebrows rose but she nodded almost imperceptibly and House stepped around her to exit the bathroom before coming to a stop and turning back to hand her the photobook. "It's just the first two and a half months of Evie's life but it's a start. Cameron made it for me for Christmas. If you want to see more afterwards, I can show them to you off my laptop in the morning."

"Thank you," Cuddy managed to force past the emotion built up in her throat. This was awkward; she knew it was for both of them. They didn't know how to be in one another's company anymore and certainly not given the circumstances. She hated feeling like they were strangers, but in some ways, she supposed they were. All the same, there was nowhere else she'd rather be than here with him.

House just nodded and limped from the room, feeling drained. He went downstairs and turned off the light in the living room before heading into his bedroom to fish out a t-shirt and the smallest pair of pajama bottoms he could find from his drawer. He tried to think what else she might need but he was too tired to give it much thought. Heading back upstairs, he walked into the bedroom without hesitation and set the clothes down at the end of the bed, his eyes briefly sweeping over her where she sat on the side of the bed, the photobook unopened but in her hands.

He didn't say anything, just turning to head out of the room and back downstairs.

"Night, House," she whispered, her eyes following him as he left the room.

When she could no longer hear him, she set aside the book for a moment and got to her feet, walking to the door to shut it. Then she headed back to the bed and picked up the clothes he'd left her, unable to stop herself from bringing them to her face and burying her nose in them. They didn't smell like him, instead carrying the fresh scent of clean laundry. She couldn't help but be disappointed by that. All the same, a soft smile formed on her lips as she undressed and pulled his clothes on, setting hers aside in a pile to put back on in the morning. Next she walked into the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her face, readying for bed. When she was finally ready, she hit the light switch and headed back to the bed, pulling the duvet and sheets aside before turning on the bedside lamp and going to the light switch to the overhead light, turning it off before she returned to the bed and climbed in, the cool sheets against her feet and calves as his pajama bottoms were extremely loose on her and rode up to her knees while getting herself settled in.

She momentarily wondered who else had slept here, imagining that his mother had probably stayed here when she had visited. But then she dismissed the thought completely as she reached once more for the photobook, finally allowing herself to open it.

Cuddy was immediately thankful for the Kleenex box on the bedside table, being that from page one she was confronted with reminders of how much she'd missed. Whereas some people would pick up the same photobook and skim each page, Cuddy's eyes lingered over each picture, hungry for each detail presented to her. The swell of Evie's belly, the curl of her ear, her flailing limbs as the nurse weighed her on the scale; even her slight cone-headed appearance at birth caught Cuddy's attention and tore at her heart, both cutting her deeply and endearing to her soul, memories she'd never have. She studied and committed to memory pictures of both House and Evie, especially one of the first ones in the book that captured a moment where he was studying Evie who he held out in front of him, causing Cuddy to laugh both softly and tearfully at the early staring exchange between father and daughter.

Two hours passed before Cuddy made it all the way through the book. She knew she could spend hours and hours looking through it but she also knew if she didn't get some sleep, she might not wake up in time to enjoy Evie's waking moments. She set the book on the bedside table and got up to throw away her pile of used tissues before using the facilities. Once she was back in bed she reached to shut the light off, curling up on her side with her knees tucked up a moment later. She was tired, well, exhausted really, after all the crying she'd done and all the emotion she'd felt throughout the course of the day. But Cuddy lay there, unable to sleep, her thoughts mostly centering on the baby sleeping downstairs and the man she had lost somewhere along the way thru stupidity and blindness but who she would give anything to claim as hers, given the opportunity. She finally drifted off to sleep, lulled into sweet dreams of a certain scruffy man surrounded by blue-eyed babies, his hand beckoning her to join them.

-----

"**_Don't be confused by my apparent lack of ceremony  
My mind is clear  
I may be low or miles high off in the distance  
I want you near_**

**_I love you  
Even when I'm sleeping  
When I close my eyes  
You're everywhere_**

**_And if they take me flying on the magic carpet  
See me wave  
If our communication fails and I've reconnected  
I want to rave_**

**_I love you  
Even when I'm sleeping  
When I close my eyes  
You're everywhere_**

**_No matter where the road is leading us, remember  
Don't be afraid  
We have a continent that sometimes comes between us  
But that's ok_**

**_I love you  
Even when I'm sleeping  
When I close my eyes  
You're everywhere  
When I close my eyes  
You're everywhere_**

**_Ooohhhhh...  
Don't be afraid, don't be afraid  
Ooohhhhh...  
Don't be afraid, don't be afraid  
Ooohhhhh...  
Don't be afraid, don't be afraid_**

**_Ooohhhhh ooohhhh ooohhhh"_**

* * *

Song: "Even When I'm Sleeping" (Leonardo's Bride)


	69. Blue Eyes

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

House woke up early the next morning and showered, knowing he probably had a good hour before Evie would wake. Yesterday hadn't gone at all as he'd planned for it to, but he was okay with that. Cuddy had shown up. That mattered more in the end than the fact that she kept him waiting so long.

He dressed in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt before exiting his room to head into Evie's. She stirred when the door opened, raising her head up to blink sleepily at him before dropping her head back down to rub a fist at her eyes. House smiled, walking to the crib and lifting her free.

Setting her down on the changing table, he stripped her clothes off, rubbing his cheek against her belly to make her laugh, her hands grabbing at his hair. It took some effort to then get her hands untangled, but once he was free he changed her diaper, debating on what to dress her in. Sitting her upright, he ran the brush over her head and decided he'd leave dressing her up to Cuddy today, should she want to. He carried Evie into the kitchen and set about preparing her bottle, trying to decide whether it would be best to let Cuddy sleep as long as she needed to or whether he should wake her up so she got in as much time as she could with Evie. Making up his mind, he adjusted Evie in his arms and grabbed the bottle before heading upstairs.

* * *

Cuddy stirred at the sound of someone knocking and slowly swam into consciousness as the door opened and House poked his head in. "Can we come in?" he asked.

She suddenly remembered where she was and sat upright, surprised when she glanced at the clock to realize she'd slept as long as she had. But at the same time, she couldn't remember the last time she'd woken up feeling so well-rested.

House stared at her, taking in her tousled hair, sleepy eyes, and the fact that she was wearing his shirt and that it… looked good on her, before registering that she wasn't responding to his question. "Should we come back later?" he asked with a frown.

"No! You can come in," she immediately replied, throwing the covers aside and exposing more than a little creamy skin in the process as the pajama pants he'd given her were riding low on her hips and her shirt had ridden up her side.

House uncomfortably averted his gaze for a moment as Cuddy got up and unconsciously fixed what she was wearing. Then he pulled his head back out of the doorway, using his foot to open the door all the way.

He entered the room, giving Cuddy her first glimpse of Evie that morning. Cuddy stared at the baby, her heart racing in her chest as she drank in the sight of Evie, who looked at her inquisitively a moment but then turned her face to bury it in House's chest.

House noticed and Cuddy watched as he smiled with affection at the baby in his arms before glancing her way with a shrug. "Stranger anxiety," he mumbled. "She's been like this for a few weeks."

Cuddy nodded, too emotional to speak, her eyes already back on the baby. House paused and ultimately walked around the bed, setting the bottle down on the nightstand there before sitting down on the opposite side of where Cuddy was standing. She immediately climbed back on the bed and waited, her eyes drinking in the baby before her, clad only in a diaper, as House tried to cajole Evie into coming out of hiding by tickling her sides. When that didn't work, he adjusted his hold on her and moved her away from him to turn her in his arms. Evie's eyes locked on Cuddy's and Cuddy couldn't help the tears that spilled out and down her cheeks as the baby stared at her suspiciously from out of House's blue eyes, one fist going up and into her mouth.

"It's nothing personal," House gruffly mumbled, feeling awkward both at Cuddy's tears and at trying to reassure her.

"I know," she murmured, meeting his eyes for a moment before wiping away the tears. "It's not that. I just… She's so perfect, isn't she? How did we create something so perfect together?" she asked quietly in wonder, marveling at the baby before her.

"My good genes cancelled out your bad ones," House managed to quip, though his tone was lacking the usual snark.

Cuddy glanced back at him, smiling softly. "I guess so," she replied, her eyes touching upon his face and wandering along his features like a caress, much as they'd moved over the baby a second before.

Suddenly out of his depth, he broke eye contact and returned his gaze to Evie before setting her down upright on the bed. She instantly fussed, reaching for him while eyeing Cuddy, but House stroked the softness of the back of her head and neck with the back of his fingers while leaning away to grab the bottle from the nightstand with the other hand.

"Daddy's not going anywhere," he murmured comfortingly to her in his distraction before his hand closed around the bottle and he sat upright once more.

Cuddy stared at House, both amazed and bewildered by how he'd obviously adjusted to being a dad all on his own in a way she never in a million years would have thought he could. Licking her lips, she drew up her strength and said, "I'm sorry House."

He was in the process of picking Evie up to lay her down on the bed but he froze at Cuddy's words. Looking up at her he tried to figure her out, confused that she was actually apologizing. "For what?" he finally asked, uncertain whether he wanted to know what she was apologizing for.

"I… I never gave you the credit you deserved. I… underestimated you. And that wasn't fair. It wasn't right. You… you've become someone I… sadly, didn't think you had it in you to be and… I've been so wrong about you that I… don't even know where to start my apology at," she explained, tears slipping down her cheeks unheeded.

House looked away, a small part of him appreciating the apology and the fact that she thought more of him than she had before, but mostly, pained to hear her verbalize just how little she'd thought him capable of. It didn't matter that he had never expected himself to be capable of pulling this dad thing off either. He was the pessimist. Why would he have? But she was the optimist – the one who saw things how they were and how they could be, not seeing the giant gaping chasm in between. And yet she was basically telling him even her optimism couldn't have stretched this far. It was pathetic to care what she thought but it seemed he still did.

"She's my kid," he finally replied gruffly, leaving it at that.

"I know," Cuddy acknowledged, nodding slightly as she wiped away her tears. "But even with Rachel…" she murmured, her words trailing off at the end.

That, honestly, pissed him off a little. Because in his mind, Rachel was his kid too. However, he supposed Cuddy was clueless about just how much he did love Rachel so he decided it wasn't worth responding to and let the comment slide.

House turned his attention to Evie then, laying her down on the bed to give her the bottle. Before he could put it in her mouth though, she rolled towards him, fussing. House turned her back over and this time stretched out on the bed next to her so that she was up against his side and couldn't go anywhere yet had the contact she apparently wanted from him, propping his head up in his hand, his elbow digging into the pillow. Slipping the bottle in Evie's mouth, he waited for her to clamp down on it with her lips, but she was casting furtive glances at Cuddy and remained uninterested.

"Can I… Can I try and feed her?" Cuddy asked hopefully.

House looked up at her and nodded slowly, handing the bottle to her.

Cuddy slid over on the bed towards them. She still hadn't addressed the baby, not yet knowing how to. Glancing at House, she met his eyes and bit her lip before hesitantly asking, "What do you want me to call myself?"

House looked at her for a moment and then gazed down upon the baby between them. "You're in this? You're committed? You're sure?" he inquired under his breath, his voice gravelly.

"I'm committed," she agreed, nodding her head.

"Then call yourself whatever you want," he replied casually, though his voice sounded slightly pinched to her ears.

She studied him for a second and House started to get up, feeling out of place and unnecessary in this moment. But Cuddy reached for him, her hand clamping down on his leg. "_Please,_" she murmured. "Please don't go. I… I need you here."

"You'll be fine, Cuddy," he mumbled, his eyes staring at her hand upon his leg before returning to her face. "You've done this before."

"_Please,_ House," she repeated. "Don't leave us. She… she needs you here right now. Just in case I… scare her or make her cry."

House nodded reluctantly and propped his head back up, giving in to her request.

Cuddy gave him a grateful look, released his leg, and returned her attention to the baby staring warily at her. Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, Cuddy set the bottle in her lap for the moment, moistened her lips and finally tentatively reached out to touch her daughter for the first time, her hand hovering just a second in mid-air before she brought it down onto the baby's bare belly, establishing contact.

"Hi Evie," she murmured tremulously, the baby's warm, soft skin feeling like perfection against her palm. "I'm your mommy. I… I'm sorry that I haven't… been here before. And I know you don't know me but… I promise you I'll do better from here on out. I… I promise you I will do everything I can to… not let you down again. Your mommy is… an idiot but she's… she's learning and… trying to do better. It's just taken her a while."

House didn't say anything, his eyes upon Cuddy's fingers where they lay splayed out over Evie's belly. Evie turned her head towards him uncertainly and he reached out a hand to stroke Evie's cheek soothingly. The baby then looked back at Cuddy before bringing a hand up to her mouth and sucking on her fist.

Cuddy wiped away a few tears descending her cheeks and brought her hand back from Evie's belly to pick up the bottle, offering it to the baby. Evie moved her fist out of the way and opened her mouth to take it, her hands wrapping around the bottle as she continued staring Cuddy down, her tiny ring and pinkie finger on one hand overlapping with Cuddy's. Cuddy's eyes fluttered shut at the connection, as small as it was, feeling like a tiny piece of her was being healed in that moment. House noticed Cuddy's reaction and something within him clenched in response, though his eyes returned to his daughter while she drank her bottle. This was the quietest Evie had ever been in the morning. He was not surprised though, for this wasn't a typical Sunday morning for them, Cuddy, a stranger where Evie was concerned, being present.

For a moment House couldn't help but think how it might have been if she'd been present and involved from the start. This would possibly be normal under those circumstances. And that was when House really noticed for the first time the intimacy of what was going on here. Suddenly being here, lying out on the bed like this with Cuddy nearby in his clothes and Evie between them, something he hadn't thought twice about doing since he was in his own house, it just didn't sit well with him any longer. House pushed himself upright and moved to get off the bed but he hadn't taken two steps away before Evie released the bottle from her mouth and started to cry.

House exhaled roughly and brought a hand up to his face, rubbing it in frustration, but turned and stepped back to the bed, avoiding Cuddy's concerned gaze and reaching for his daughter, picking her up and hushing her. When Evie calmed down, House adjusted her in his arms and reached to take the bottle from Cuddy, which she surrendered without comment.

"We'll leave you to shower and get dressed," he said without meeting her eyes, turning and leaving the room.

Cuddy watched them go in bewilderment, trying to figure out what had happened to make House so uncomfortable. When the door closed behind him she frowned but got off the bed, heading to the bathroom to do as he'd suggested.

* * *

House was downstairs in the kitchen with Evie asleep in his arms when Cuddy rejoined them, having showered, dressed, and used what little makeup she'd had in her purse to make herself presentable.

House was staring into the fridge but he looked up as she came into the room before saying, "If you want to hold her, now's probably a good time."

She came to an abrupt stop, but slowly bobbed her head in reply, unable to answer him verbally around the sudden lump in her throat. House left the fridge door ajar and came towards her, adjusting the sleeping baby so that he could pass her off to Cuddy, helping to situate Evie in her arms after they'd negotiated the transfer. Then House went to Evie's room to get a blanket, being that she was still just in her diaper, tucking it around her once he'd returned, trying to ignore how close he and Cuddy physically were in that moment.

"Are you hungry?" he asked hospitably, heading over to the coffeepot to pour himself a cup.

"No," she managed to reply, too overwhelmed with the precious cargo he'd placed in her arms to say any more than that.

House nodded but set to work making enough food for both of them in case she changed her mind, glancing from time to time at Cuddy and the baby sleeping peacefully in her arms. He physically hurt just at the sight of them together, unable to miss the… sanctity of mother and daughter together as they should have been from the start. For the first time he realized how much Cuddy had deprived him of as well, in not being able to share Evie with her all along. The thought alone terrified him. Feeling this way would not help him move forward in life.

Cuddy stared at her daughter, her eyes sweeping over her inch by inch, committing to memory every detail as if the first time she held her could very well be the last. She unconsciously swayed from side to side, doing her best to blink back the tears that were waiting to be shed, wiping them on her shoulder when they haplessly spilt over.

"You can take her into the living room and sit down with her if you want. Or there's a rocking chair in her room," House threw out, not wanting to witness any more at the moment.

Cuddy nodded in appreciation and headed for Evie's bedroom, settling herself in the rocking chair. She gazed down at the baby in her arms, still unable to wrap her mind around how she and House could have created this. Cuddy slid the blanket back carefully so she could do what most mothers did the first time they lay eyes upon their child. She counted her fingers and toes, marveled at her little hands and feet, ran a finger over her limbs stroking her soft skin, and then replaced the blanket around her to reach up and touch her face, tracing her exposed ear and jaw line before gently touching her lips and nose. She hesitantly caressed her cheek before touching her silky dark hair, smoothing it and smiling tremulously when it didn't stay down but bounced back up. This was her daughter, she thought to herself for the hundredth time since House had set Evie down on the bed beside her an hour or so ago. Her little girl. She wasn't sure how long it would take to bond with her and have Evie come to a point where she was no longer leery, but Cuddy knew that was what she wanted most right now, the baby before her stealing her heart as easily as she'd stolen her breath that day at the park.

* * *

House heard a car door shut outside and smiled slightly, knowing that would be Evelyn with Rachel. He headed for the front door, turning briefly to walk to Evie's room and check in on her. Cuddy was too absorbed in the infant in her arms to even notice him. He figured that was the way it was supposed to be.

Back in the foyer, he reached for the doorknob and opened the front door just as Rachel rang the doorbell.

"Hi daddy! We here to see you!" she announced, stretching her arms up for him to pick her up.

House chuckled and reached for her, swinging her up before turning his gaze to Evelyn. "Come on in. Evie's sleeping and Cuddy's in there with her," he informed her, nodding his head in the direction of the baby's room.

"Daddy, I smell pancakes?" Rachel asked, one of her hands going up to his face and trying to turn him with it so that their eyes could meet.

"Are you hungry?" he inquired skeptically, certain that Evelyn had already fed her.

"They's got chocolate chips in them?" she asked hopefully.

"Rachel, you already had breakfast," Evelyn reminded her, setting down her purse.

"I don't have any chocolate chips," House informed Rachel. "They're just normal pancakes."

Rachel looked disappointed for a moment but asked, "Um… you got M&Ms?"

"I might," House admitted after thinking about it.

Evelyn eyed him with amusement but said, "I'm going to go check on Lisa."

House nodded and turned with Rachel in his arms to go into the kitchen and dig through his cupboard for any candy he might have, since he did still have extra pancake batter to use up.

Evelyn watched them go and then headed for the baby's room, easing the door open before stepping within.

"Hi," Cuddy murmured, glancing up at her mother with a small smile before returning her eyes to the baby.

"Hey," Evelyn replied, walking over to stand by her, stroking the baby's hair gently before asking, "How did last night go?"

Cuddy looked away in embarrassment but mumbled, "You were right about getting inside the door being the hard part. It… took me a while. But then… you were right about House too. He… helped me get through it. This is actually the first time I've held her though."

"I'm surprised you decided to spend the night," Evelyn said softly.

"I'm shocked House invited me to," Cuddy replied honestly.

Evelyn nodded, also surprised by this. Taking a deep breath she said, "I'm going to stay and visit for a little while but then I'm going to go back to the house and gather my things before heading home."

Cuddy nodded in acceptance of this, knowing her mother had already stayed a week more than originally planned for.

Evelyn moistened her lips and released her breath before continuing into what she wanted to talk to her about. "Your dad and I have been talking about moving closer. I was wondering how you'd feel about that."

She stared at her mother and blinked a few times before asking, "You and dad _want _to move?"

"We've been discussing it for a while now. Since he's retired, _hopefully _anyway," she added in annoyance, "we thought now wouldn't be a bad time. Unless you have an objection to us being nearby."

Cuddy shook her head but bit her lip before murmuring, "Julia might take issue with that though."

"We'll be closer to her than we are now. She's only three hours from here," Evelyn responded.

"Yes, but I'm assuming by closer you mean living somewhere near to _me_," Cuddy said.

"Since when do you worry about what Julia is upset by? You let dad and I worry about Julia," Evelyn replied.

Cuddy looked down at the baby in her arms. "How am I going to explain what I've done?" she mumbled, getting to the real issue on her heart where her sister was concerned, tears pouring forth from her eyes once again.

Evelyn sighed, pained by her daughter's pain, and knelt at her side, pulling out a tissue to offer her. "We'll worry about that when the time comes, hmm? Right now no one knows but dad and I and I think it should stay that way until you've had time to build a relationship with your daughter. You can't take on _everything_ at once. And besides," she added, her lips quirking, "Julia's not perfect either. I could tell you stories testifying to her humanity too. Though I won't."

Cuddy wiped at the last of her tears, smiling now. "I would _love _to have you and dad close," she acknowledged.

"Okay," Evelyn responded with a smile, getting back to her feet. "That's what I was hoping to hear."

"Where's Rachel?" Cuddy thought to ask after a moment, glancing around as if she'd see her standing at the door or something.

"She's trying to talk House into making her pancakes with M&Ms," Evelyn responded with a soft chuckle.

Cuddy smiled at that piece of news and slowly got to her feet, stepping over to the crib to lay the baby down carefully within, covering her with the blanket a second later. "I should go check on her. She was alright for you? It wasn't a problem that I stayed, was it?"

"No," Evelyn replied, shaking her head as she turned to head for the door. "Rachel was great. She missed you and asked where you were this morning when she woke up but other than that, she was just excited to hear we'd be coming over today."

Cuddy followed behind her, looking back at the baby one final time before bringing the door closed behind them. Then she headed to the kitchen alongside her mom. When they entered the kitchen, Cuddy's heart melted into a puddle on the floor at the sight of Rachel and House. Rachel was perched on the island, House right in front of her, a plate of pancakes in his hand he'd just made held up for Rachel to study.

"This one?" House asked, an eyebrow raised.

"No silly," Rachel said with a giggle. "That's a duck."

"Huh," House replied as if stumped, spinning the plate in his hand as if to verify she was correct. Pointing to another, he said, "Then this one must be a dog."

"No!" Rachel declared, shaking her head. "That's a kitty."

"Okay. If you say so," House dubiously responded. "Then which one is the dog?"

"The one with the long ears and a brown M&M for a nose," Rachel informed him seriously, pointing to it.

"You're two and a half. How do you know your colors?" he asked in surprise, an eyebrow raised.

"Mommy taught me," she replied, sticking her chest out proudly.

House ruffled her hair, a smile tugging at his lips, and verified, "So you want the dog pancake?"

Rachel nodded and House set the plate down before reaching for her, tossing her up in the air and then setting her down on the floor. "Table, kid," he commanded, at that point noticing that Cuddy and Evelyn had come in the room. House instantly sobered, turning to grab a plate out of the cabinet and placing Rachel's pancake on it before delivering it to her, along with a fork and a sippy cup of milk.

Evelyn inspected his handiwork where it lay on the plate, already being stabbed by Rachel's fork. "I'm not quite sure I can compete with animal-shaped pancakes."

House looked at her affectionately. "You don't have to. You're Grandma Cuddles. You're already in a league of your own."

Cuddy stared at House upon hearing him call her mother "Grandma Cuddles" and was surprised by the pang of jealousy that shot through her, hearing him adapt the nickname he'd bestowed upon her long ago to address someone else with. It was stupid to feel that way, she instantly reprimanded herself, but all the same she couldn't deny to herself that it caused her heart to ache. She couldn't help worrying her lip and trying to recall when the last time he'd referred to her as "Cuddles" had been. She couldn't remember him using it since… since that Christmas Eve when he'd come by the house. No. She was wrong. He'd called her that in her office when he'd come to tell her she was pregnant and she hadn't believed him. She wondered if that would be the last time he'd ever call her that. Surprisingly it no longer struck her as being half as annoying as she'd once protested it to be. And quite suddenly, she wanted her nickname back.

"Daddy?" Rachel asked, the fork halfway up to her mouth with the whole pancake attached.

House smirked and walked over to cut it for her. "Yes?" he asked when he was next to her.

She looked up at him, her expression intent. "You get me a real dog?" she asked hopefully.

House raised his eyebrows at her question and Cuddy rushed to intercept the moment. "Honey, we don't have a big enough yard for a dog, remember? You know that."

But Rachel knew who the big sucker was and she kept her gaze trained on him. "Please daddy?" she asked sweetly before adding, "You got big yard. He keep you and baby G safe."

Evelyn looked at House, an eyebrow raised as she shook her head. "Don't let the puppy dog eyes suck you in, Greg," she said warningly.

"_Please?_" Rachel pressed, adorable an appropriate depiction for the look she was giving him.

"Honey, you don't live here. You can't ask… daddy to get you a dog when you won't even be here to help take care of him," Cuddy told her, her eyes trained on her daughter who finally turned to look at her and pouted.

House looked at Cuddy in surprise after hearing _her_ of all people refer to _him_ as Rachel's _daddy_. For fifteen seconds he forgot everything that was between them, the parade of pink elephants marching through the room and all their necessary fanfare. For fifteen seconds, she had just recognized the bond House had formed with her daughter and acknowledged it. And fifteen seconds was all Rachel needed because before House could stop himself, he glanced back at her, his daddy-hood now solidified and replied, "Daddy will think about it, Rachel."

House almost went deaf at the shriek of happiness that issued forth from her little lungs. Cuddy sighed but decided she was going to keep out of this one. This was all House's problem. A dog would be nice but she didn't have the yard for it. If House did and wanted to commit to the need's a pet presented, she wasn't going to point out that he really didn't have to do that just for Rachel. House could make his own decisions.

"Greg," Evelyn admonished. "Rachel's two. In her mind 'think about it' is another way of saying yes."

House looked at her out of one eye, the other squeezed shut as he stuck a finger in his ear and tried to regain his lost hearing. He made a somewhat apologetic face and shrugged. "She said please," he mumbled, as if that was a justifiable reason for getting her a dog. "Besides," he added. "She wants to keep me and baby G safe. She's trying to look out for her old man."

Evelyn smiled but rolled her eyes. "If you don't learn how to say no, pretty soon you'll have your own petting zoo in the back yard."

"Give me some credit," he replied dryly. "The kid asked for a dog. Not Mr. Ed."

House was spared further scolding as a cry issued forth from Evie's room.

House started towards the doorway and then paused to look at Cuddy.

"You go," she murmured, nodding.

House studied her for a second, pursing his lips, but he ultimately continued in the direction of Evie's room, understanding Cuddy's reluctance to force herself upon Evie so quickly. Lifting the baby out of the crib, he nuzzled her belly with his cheek before placing her on the changing table. He got her in a new diaper and paused to debate with himself before he called for Cuddy.

She came in a moment later, stopping in the doorway, her eyes flickering from the baby to him.

"Want to pick out something for her to wear?" he offered casually.

Cuddy gave him a small grateful smile but said, "You pick something out. I don't know where anything is at," before taking a few steps forward, bringing her alongside him and allowing her to reach out to touch the baby's kicking feet.

"You got her?" he asked quietly.

She nodded, stepping closer to place a hand on the baby's belly and keep her from going anywhere. House stepped away to dig in the drawers for something Evie could roll around in easily, pulling out a light blue shirt and pair of jeans. The baby immediately started fussing at his departure from her side, her eyes following him before looking back at Cuddy almost fearfully.

It made Cuddy feel awful but House was back beside them before Evie could start crying and he sat the baby upright, pulling the shirt over her head carefully while Cuddy took a step back to watch before glancing down at her feet and turning to slip out of the room.

House looked after her and rolled his eyes, somewhat frustrated that this wasn't going as easily as either of them had hoped. He remembered when Cuddy had adopted Rachel though. It had taken time for them to bond as well, but it _had_ happened. Cuddy just needed to give Evie some time in this. She needed to give herself some time.

House got Evie's feet into her jeans and then maneuvered them onto her. Picking the baby up, he straightened her shirt out and smoothed her hair before blowing raspberries on her neck to get her to giggle. Heading out of the room with her, he went back towards the kitchen, handing Evie to Evelyn once he'd entered the room. Evelyn took the baby and started talking to her, Evie cooing in response. Cuddy watched them, enjoying the sound of her daughter's voice for the first time, even if she felt a little wounded to not be able to engage Evie like her mother was doing.

House pulled out a covered plate he had set aside to eat and joined Rachel at the table while she drank her milk.

"There's another plate of food if you are hungry, Cuddy," House offered, glancing at her.

"Thanks," she murmured, turning to find the plate he was referring to. She decided it would at least give her something to do and reached for it, going to sit down at the table with House and Rachel, casting furtive glances back and forth between House and Evie every few bites.

Getting to his feet, House looked at her and asked, "Do you want some orange juice or coffee or anything?"

"Coffee would be great," she replied quietly. He poured her a mug and set it down on the table for her before turning his attention to Rachel.

"You done kid?" he asked.

Rachel nodded and he helped her down, freeing her to go play. Evelyn followed her out of the room with Evie and House glanced at Cuddy before muttering, "It took time with Rachel, Cuddy. Don't expect Evie to be any different."

He had meant it to be reassuring but Cuddy didn't interpret it that way. It only made her feel worse, thinking that even House was aware of how she was failing at this. She wiped away a tear that came trickling out and defensively replied, "I'm trying here, House."

He huffed out a breath, irritated with himself for even bothering. But he tried again anyway. "Cuddy, I'm not criticizing you," he mumbled. "I'm attempting to… help you here. I have no doubt that you expected this to be different. Or hoped it would be. You expected things to be different with Rachel too. But they weren't and I'm… trying to help you remember that. Don't expect too much from yourself. Evie will come around. She just needs time to get familiar with you. You'll bond with her just like you did Rachel. It's just not something that will happen overnight."

Cuddy met his eyes and tremulously asked, "But what if it doesn't happen, House? What if she doesn't warm up to me?"

He gave her a pointed look. "She will," he stated plainly, reaching to pick his plate up and take it to the sink, rinsing it off before sticking it in the dishwasher.

Cuddy pushed her chair back and got up as well, bringing House her plate, unable to eat any more. "I'm sorry," she murmured after setting the plate on the counter, her eyes trained on his face. "You're right. I… just want to be…"

House dumped what was left on her plate down the garbage disposal before interrupting her. "You expect perfection from yourself. You expect it regarding your career and regarding your personal life. And when you are unable to achieve it, you see that as failure and don't know how to deal with that. But you've never been capable of perfection, Cuddy. And the sooner you realize that, the sooner you'll be able to accept things that are less than perfect and… free yourself to enjoy the imperfect, despite less than ideal circumstances. It hasn't even been 24 hours Cuddy," he said, shutting off the water before looking at her. "This was never going to be easy. Give her a few weeks and then you and I will work from there."

Cuddy nodded, glancing down at her feet and House turned to step around her, heading for the living room, giving her time to think if that was what she needed.

* * *

Cuddy followed him a few minutes later, finding Evie on the floor, Rachel and House some distance away. Evelyn was sitting on the couch and patted the seat next to her in invitation. Cuddy gave her a small smile and went to sit down, her eyes on the baby who was focused on a chick House had in his hands. He wound it up and set it down, Evie immediately breaking out into a wide grin as she watched it before rolling towards it. Rachel clapped for her when she reached the chick and Cuddy smiled tenderly at the three of them, determined to just enjoy being present for this day in her daughter's life.

* * *

Evelyn left shortly after they all ate a late lunch and while Rachel played with some toys she'd retrieved from Evie's room, House placed Evie in her crib for a nap before returning to the living room.

"I don't know when you have to leave but if you want, I can hook up the camcorder to the TV for you and you can watch one of the videotapes from the last six months," he offered with a shrug.

"I would like that," she acknowledged, nodding.

House turned and left the room to retrieve the camcorder bag, returning a few minutes later to set it all up. He popped in the first tape, hit rewind, and handed her the remote before informing her that he had some things he needed to get done before Evie woke up, leaving the room a second later. When he was gone, she hit play and the TV screen went from blue to being centered on Wilson's face, catching Cuddy off guard. She unconsciously leaned forward in her seat, turning up the volume.

"_It's September 23__rd__, 2010 and your dad woke me up at 1:30 in the morning to send me to the store for Dreft, a fourth bottle of baby shampoo, and a bunch of pacifiers. I gave up on trying to ignore his calls and sleep at 2:30 when he awoke my neighbor to get to me and was at the store to buy what he felt he was missing around 3:00. Kid, your dad is nesting,_" Wilson was whispering into the camcorder. He appeared to look out of the room he was in then as if to verify House was nowhere nearby, before turning back to the camcorder. Cuddy couldn't help but be touched that Wilson had been videotaping something he found significant for Evie to watch someday down the line. She tried not to think about what she'd been doing while House was apparently trying to prepare for Evie's birth.

"_And let me just explain what that means,_" Wilson continued, a wry expression on his face. "_It means that today you are supposed to be born. Maybe tomorrow if it takes a long time. And so rather than sleeping and resting up for the long day ahead, your dad is out in the living room organizing everything that he, Auntie Cameron, and I have bought you in the past few weeks. Blankets, clothes, medicines, you name it."_

"_Wilson! What's taking you so long?! I need you to add some Dreft to the washing machine and get it started!" _she heard House call out from somewhere off camera. Cuddy honestly couldn't believe House was allowing her to watch this. She just bet he'd forgotten Wilson had filmed this. _This_ was most definitely something she knew House would be embarrassed by.

Wilson looked back at the camcorder and laughed. "_See? He's losing it,_" Wilson whispered. "_I just want you to see this._" And then he turned the camera around and filmed the house as he walked back, presumably to wherever House was at, stopping at the bathroom for some reason.

The next few moments made Cuddy laugh and cringe all at once, as House accused Wilson of not flushing and then having… bowel issues, the bathroom portion clearly being Wilson's cover story to where he'd disappeared to.

Suddenly Wilson was entering the foyer and he turned to direct the camera at House in the living room.

House didn't even look up. "_Wilson, I hope you bought a few different styles of pacifiers in case the kid has a preference._" Cuddy drank in the sight of him, wishing with all that was in her that she'd been there to witness this and… be a part of preparing to bring their daughter into the world.

"Daddy!" Rachel declared excitedly, her head turning in time to see House come up on the TV screen.

"That is daddy, isn't it?" Cuddy murmured to her daughter before returning her attention to the TV.

"_This is your crazy old man,_" Cuddy listened to Wilson announce, the camcorder zoomed in on House's face as he adjusted his reading glasses to read over the directions on a tube of what she suspected to be Desitin.

"_What are you…?"_ House began to ask. And then he looked up and spotted the camcorder in Wilson's hands and his expression darkened considerably.

"_Wilson,_" he muttered through his teeth. _"What do you think you're doing?"_

"_I'm recording your nesting episode for posterity,"_ she heard him reply as he scanned the room more closely.

"_Wilson…if you don't turn that off right now…"_ House threatened.

"_Remember House, we've got little ears who will be watching this video in a few years. Choose your words wisely,"_ Wilson taunted.

"_You'll be lucky if you're still around to watch it with her,"_ House scornfully replied, causing Cuddy to smile widely, loving the man before her and all his crazy ways.

"_He doesn't mean that,"_ Wilson said somberly into the camera. _"Your dad loves Uncle Wilson. He couldn't live without him. That's why he woke him up at 1:30 a.m. to ask where the diaper rash crème was."_

"_I'm going to jam said diaper crème somewhere the sun doesn't shine if that camcorder doesn't get turned off in the next thirty seconds," _House replied as he got to his feet.

"_Baby House,"_ Wilson began, chuckling. _"This is the point of the video where I remind you of an age-old truth. And that's this. Cripples don't run very fast."_ And the last thing Cuddy saw before the video screen momentarily went blue between clips was House shooting a death glare Wilson's way as the camera backed away from him.

* * *

House came back into the room sometime later, Evie in his arms and a bottle in his hand. He came and took a seat next to Cuddy on the couch, placing the bottle in Evie's mouth so that she could chug it down before his eyes focused on the TV screen, watching a segment of video clip Wilson had filmed just after House's mom's visit. Cuddy turned her body slightly towards him, her gaze focusing on the baby in his arms. Setting aside the remote, she reached out and ran a finger over Evie's toes before glancing up at House.

He felt her eyes on his face but ignored her, watching the TV instead.

"How are we going to do this?" she asked softly after a moment, biting her lip.

House looked at her before his eyes shifted to the baby in his arms. He'd been trying to come up with an answer for that question all day. "You can come over on Tuesdays and Thursdays after work, and Sundays too, if you want," he proffered quietly.

Cuddy nodded after a second and moistened her lips before hesitantly asking, "House, when you… when you found out I was pregnant… you really did want her from the beginning, didn't you?"

House exhaled through his nose and finally mumbled, "Of course I did, Cuddy."

"But why?" she murmured, hoping he wouldn't blow up at the question. "You never seemed interested in having children before that."

House swallowed against the knot in his throat, his eyes remaining on Evie. He didn't know why he was genuinely considering answering her question but he did verbally want to acknowledge that he'd wanted Evie from the beginning, and that despite what Cuddy had once accused him of, it hadn't been because he wanted to use the circumstances to try and trap Cuddy into being with him.

After a few seconds, he finally replied, "It didn't matter before that. I'd never found myself facing fatherhood before. Except when… you were looking for a sperm donor." House paused, unable to believe he'd just shared that. Before she could think about that too much, he rushed on. "But you didn't ask so thinking about it stopped being necessary. Anyway, Evie was… ours. She was already on the way. Why would I have wanted to destroy the only good thing to come out of an otherwise insufferable situation?"

Cuddy choked up at his words, unable to stop the wave of emotion that crashed over her as regret came in like a tide. "I'm sorry I… I reacted like I did," she managed to mumble out, wiping tears away as she tried to keep back her sobs. "I'm sorry I… hurt you."

"It doesn't matter now, Cuddy," he replied without emotion, setting the bottle aside to get up with the baby, placing her on his shoulder to be burped. "You can't go back and change things. Leave the past in the past. You can only deal with the here and now anyway."

"I'll never be able to make up for it, will I?" she asked under her breath, her teary eyes meeting his.

"No, you won't," he said honestly, holding her gaze. "This isn't a situation calling for Visa, MasterCard, or a pound of flesh. Payment in guilt isn't accepted either. I don't want your guilt. I have no use for it. What does it accomplish other than to make you miserable? I don't want you to be miserable. That does nothing for either Evie or me. I just want you to do right by Evie from here on out. That's all I'll ask of you. Don't look to me to be your guide through purgatory. I'm not trying to force you to atone for anything you've done. Your guilt complex has never been something I've taken personal joy in."

House broke their eye contact then and headed for the TV, shutting it off. "It's been a long day for you, Cuddy. Why don't you go home and take some time to… relax or something. If you want to come Tuesday night, Evie and I will be home by 6."

Cuddy nodded, understanding that she wasn't the only one who'd had a long day, even though she did believe he was thinking she'd probably reached her limit. She got to her feet as House walked over to Rachel.

"Time to go home, kid," he informed her, taking her hand and helping her up before leading her out of the room.

Cuddy followed them, her eyes meeting those of the baby up on House's shoulder. When she got close enough, she reached out and touched the baby's cheek, breathing a sigh of relief when Evie didn't pull away.

"Rachel's car seat is in your car," House informed her, having moved it from where Evelyn had set it to the car while Cuddy was watching Evie's videos.

"Thank you," she acknowledged, nodding.

House turned Evie in his arms so that she was facing forward and Cuddy leaned in to press a kiss to the baby's forehead from the side, Evie snuggling closer to House's chest but not whining or fussing regarding her action.

Cuddy then turned her attention to House, her slightly red and puffy eyes meeting his. "Thank you for letting me come," she murmured, fighting the urge to make contact with him, even if it was just in placing her hand upon his arm.

He nodded. "I want this," he admitted. "I want you to be in Evie's life. She… she needs a mother. And you're hers."

Cuddy exhaled through her nose and nodded before giving him a tremulous smile. "We'll see you on Tuesday," she said in response.

House squatted then to be at Rachel's level. "See you later kid," he said, ruffling her hair.

She threw her arms around his neck, luckily missing Evie in the assault, and happily declared, "Bye daddy!"

Cuddy bit her lip, blinking rapidly so as not to cry at the constant beating she was taking every time she saw House interact with Rachel in ways she'd never expected him to. Then she waited until Rachel released him before taking her hand and reaching for the doorknob, pulling it open a second later.

House walked them outside, closing his door behind him, and watched them drive away before rubbing a hand over his face. Debating for a second, he turned and headed for Erika's house, needing someone to process his day with, hoping she'd be home.

* * *

Erika was not surprised to find House standing at her front door. She opened the door wide to allow him entrance, remaining silent until the door was closed behind him. She took the baby from him then, following him in the direction of the three season porch.

"Where's Trevor?" House asked, looking back at her.

"Upstairs working on cleaning up his room. I'm not telling him you are here until _after _he finishes cleaning it though. He has his hot wheels strewn from one end of his room to the other and I'm about ready to toss them all out after stepping on one too many," she replied with an annoyed smile.

House smirked and quipped, "Boys will be boys."

"Apparently eternally, if you're any indication," Erika volleyed back, adjusting Evie in her arms to sit beside him on the futon. "Remind me again why I'm once more joining you in sitting here," she instructed as she tried to find a comfortable spot.

"Don't ask me to explain why _you _are sitting here. You do nothing but gripe the whole time," he retorted.

Erika rolled her eyes before turning a little more serious and asking, "How did it go? I noticed her car was still here this morning. And all afternoon."

It was House's turn to roll his eyes but he said, "I let her stay so that she could be around when Evie woke up this morning."

"And?" she prompted.

"And…" he dryly echoed. "It went okay. Evie… doesn't know what to make of her. But she's been kind of weird about strangers lately and Cuddy is nothing if not a stranger to her. She'll warm up. It's just going to take her some time."

"That would be hard," Erika responded after a moment of thinking about it. "Was… Lisa upset about that?" she asked, trying out the woman's first name.

House raised an eyebrow at her use of Cuddy's first name but didn't comment on that. "Not angry upset," he replied. "But I suppose it was hard on her, yes."

"You suppose?" she inquired curiously.

"Fine," House retorted. "It _was_ hard on her. You happy?"

Erika laughed at his frustration. Looking up at the ceiling, she pursed her mouth and asked, "How about you? Was it hard on you?"

"Are you asking if I wanted it to go better than it did?" he asked doubtfully.

She shrugged. "I'm just asking if it was hard on you. Not just Evie's reaction to her. I mean the whole thing in general. _You_ can get as specific as you want."

"It could have gone worse," he acknowledged finally. "I… don't know how to do _this_. I don't know how to _share_ Evie with her or _encourage_ Evie to be comfortable around her mother. _I'm_ not even comfortable around her."

"Well," Erika began, moistening her lips before continuing. "I imagine in time it will all work itself out. You'll figure out how to work this and get more comfortable with it and Evie… Evie will too. Though I would guess she'll probably react a lot to you. You're the person she's around most. Babies are like that. They know how to read a person. If you aren't at ease with her being around, that will affect how Evie feels around her."

House considered it and exhaled heavily.

"How did she do with Evie?" Erika inquired.

"She did fine. She… has a daughter. Rachel. She's been through this before," he mumbled with a shrug.

Erika gasped in surprise. "You didn't tell me she had another child," she replied, her eyes wide as saucers.

House looked away before saying, "Just hasn't come up."

"Oh man, House," she said with a small laugh, shaking her head. "You love that little girl _too_."

"You got all that from my saying it 'just hasn't come up'?" he asked skeptically.

"I got 'all that' from the expression that crossed your face _before _you said that it 'just hasn't come up'," Erika answered, giving him a pointed look. "This_ situation_ just keeps getting more and more interesting. _And _complicated. You love Evie. You love this little girl, Rachel. _And_ you love Lisa."

House's expression hardened and she rushed to amend, "Okay, you don't trust her. You don't even _want_ to love her. But you _do_. And now you've got your own family of _four_…"

"Can we get to the point in this conversation?" House interrupted to demand.

"There _is _no point," she replied casually. "Except to say you got screwed in the divorce."

"We weren't _married_," he grimaced.

"Eh, it's an emotional divorce, not a literal one. Who does Rachel belong to?" she queried then.

"She's adopted," House answered. "Cuddy adopted her as an infant. She'll be three at the end of November. That's what I meant when I said Cuddy's been through this before. Bonding with Rachel… wasn't easy and didn't happen overnight."

"Do you see her often?" Erika asked, passing Evie to him as she was starting to squirm.

"Before Cuddy wanted back in Evie's life, I'd see Rachel whenever Cuddy's mom was around. And now that Cuddy is back in the picture, I'm sure I'll see her every time Cuddy comes by to see Evie," he responded.

"Who does Rachel think you are?" she inquired next.

"Dad," he admitted. "But Rachel came to that conclusion without Cuddy's encouragement, though she seems fine with that. And anyway, I _am _her sister's dad so it makes sense."

"You like being her dad," Erika said with a smile.

House didn't reply, knowing she didn't need him to.

Erika wiggled around on the futon a minute, trying to find a better position and House smirked at her. Throwing her head back, she finally asked, "What _are _your plans regarding visitations?"

"Evie needs to get used to her. I told her she can come by on Tuesday and Thursday nights and then on Sundays."

"She didn't argue to take her overnight or for weekends?" Erika inquired.

House shook his head. "Evie wouldn't even let her hold her while she was awake," he replied sardonically. "How's she going to manage taking her overnight?"

"Would you agree to it if she did ask?"

"No. I… I don't trust her. Not that she would hurt Evie. It's not that. Cuddy's not like that. I just… don't trust her and Evie's too… important to me to agree to something like that," House quietly said.

"Where do you see this going in the long run?" she couldn't help asking.

"I… don't know. I don't have _all _the answers," he finished grumpily.

Erika smiled. She was tempted to ask him more about Lisa Cuddy but decided it could wait for another day. Instead she reached out to stroke Evie's cheek, who turned her head to follow Erika's finger.

"She's hungry," she murmured then.

"Yeah. I should take her home and feed her," he agreed, putting a great deal of effort into getting off of the futon.

Erika gave him a shove to help him out and then extended her hand for him to help her. "Can I get rid of this thing?" she asked wryly once he'd pulled her out with a grunt.

"I don't know. I'm kind of attached," he joked.

She rolled her eyes but quipped, "You are when you sit on it. Come on. You can come with me to pick out its replacement."

"I'll think about it," he said, musing over that offer.

"Three times is pretty regular," Erika picked back up with their conversation as they walked back towards the front door. "Are you up to seeing her that often?"

House shrugged. "I don't know. But Evie's got to get to know her somehow. I'll just… come over here and hide when I need a breather."

Erika laughed and dryly replied, "Well, it's good to know I'll still see you from time to time."

"You will," he affirmed as they reached the door.

"Before I forget, Trevor wanted to know if you'd play him at chess sometime this week. He wants to practice before his meet on Saturday," she informed him.

"Got plans tomorrow night?" he asked. "You can both come over for dinner and then I'll play a game with him while you watch Evie."

"Works for me," she replied. "We'll see you around 6:30?"

"You got it," House agreed before pulling open the door to head back home.

"Oh! Here! Take my spare key back before I forget. I don't want to get locked out and not have a way back in," Erika said, reaching to pull the key out of the drawer she'd stuck it in.

He took it and pocketed it before heading out. "Tell Trevor I'll see him tomorrow," he said as he descended her walkway.

"Will do," she responded before watching him walk back home. Then, closing the door, she turned and headed upstairs to see what kind of progress her son had made in his room.

* * *

"Are you doing okay?" Richard asked his daughter over the phone that night.

"Yeah, dad. I'm fine," Cuddy reassured him.

"And House treated you well while you were at his house?" he asked doubtfully.

Cuddy couldn't help but smile about her dad's protectiveness. "He was great," she affirmed. "He was… very supportive."

"Hmm," Richard murmured. "I know your mother likes him but… I hope you aren't falling for him again. He's… a good dad but… he never treated you the way you deserved to be treated," he concluded.

Cuddy's eyes closed of their own volition and she bit her lip before admitting, "Well, I haven't exactly treated him very well, either," knowing it was an understatement.

"All the same," Richard pressed, his tone adamant.

Cuddy interrupted, not wanting to go down this path tonight. She'd only end up frustrating her dad and wishing all the harder for House to open his heart to loving her completely once more. "You haven't told me what you think of the baby," she prompted, redirecting him.

"Lisa, you know she's got her grandpa's heart," he acknowledged. "She looks so much like you did as a baby. It brings me back to when you were small enough to fit in the palm of my hand."

"I hardly think I fit in the palm of your hand, dad," she replied wryly, shaking her head.

"You were just a peanut," he continued. "And your mom wouldn't allow me to change your diapers because she was afraid I'd stick you with a pin. Of course, those were the days before they had these disposable diapers and I wasn't exactly going to complain. There were some times when your diapers were…"

Cuddy interrupted again, embarrassed, even if no one else was hearing this conversation but her. "Dad," she said sternly. "Please don't launch into a story about the contents of a diaper!"

Richard chuckled. "Why? You were a cute little thing. Even if…"

"Dad!" she stopped him again.

He sobered and then asked, "You're sure you are alright?"

"I am," Cuddy replied. "And I'll be going back over to see her on Tuesday night."

"Okay," he responded. "I'm glad you're involved now, Lisa. I want you to know that. Girls need their mothers. Don't let House tell you otherwise."

Cuddy groaned internally, but said, "Thanks for the advice dad. I'm going to let you go now. I'm really tired. But I'll talk to you later. Let mom know I'm glad she got home safe."

"I will," he replied. "And make sure to take some pictures for us. We don't have any of you with the baby yet."

Cuddy bit her lip, but then answered, "Okay dad. Good night."

"Night honey," he responded before hanging up.

Cuddy set her phone back on the charger and exhaled, genuinely exhausted from the day. And she had work tomorrow, she thought to herself, groaning.

Cuddy checked on Rachel, tugging the blanket up and over her before securing it around her. Then she brushed the hair from her face before closing the door the majority of the way. Heading to her room, she got ready for bed, her thoughts shifting to her blue-eyed baby.

Evie was… beautiful. Perhaps the most beautiful baby she'd ever seen, right up there at the top of Cuddy's list with Rachel. The circumstances of their births could not be more different, but right now, all she wanted was to love them both with all she had. And she knew she was capable of that. She also felt incredibly blessed to know that House was willing to give her the opportunity to do exactly that.

Regardless of what her dad might believe, House was… all Cuddy wanted and needed. She lay in bed that night, unable to stop thinking of all he'd said and done in the last 24 hours. He hadn't tried to make light of all she'd done, but he hadn't rubbed her face in it either. He… could have turned her away the night before, but he hadn't done that. He'd given her a chance. He'd… helped her as much as he could. And he'd even held her there in the hallway. Closing her eyes, she again visualized the video clips she'd watched of both House and Evie, marveling over all she'd witnessed today of just how much he _had _loved their baby from the start. She heard him say, one more time, "_Evie was… ours_." "Ours," she couldn't help repeating, enjoying the word almost as much as the sentiment behind it. House… didn't have the first clue how highly she thought of him or how… very much she _did_ love him. She intended to change that, even if it was little by little. She intended to make him hers. All this time… it was House who had been her destiny. She was certain of that. Now she just had to convince him. Just like with Evie, it wouldn't happen overnight. But that didn't mean it wouldn't happen at all. Cuddy still had hope. For tonight, hope would be enough.

-----

"_**Wish enough, wise man'll tell you a lie  
Window broke, torn up screens  
Who'd have thought that you'd dream  
Of a single tragic scene?**_

**_I just wanna sing a song with you  
I just want to take it off of you_**

**_'Cause Blue Eyes  
You are all that I need  
'Cause Blue Eyes  
You're the sweet to my mean_**

**_'Fess it up, dot on the palm of your hand  
I can help you to stand  
Saved it up for this dance  
Tell me all the things you can_**

**_I just wanna sing a song with you  
I just wanna be the one that's true_**

**_'Cause Blue Eyes  
You're the secret I keep  
'Cause Blue Eyes_**

**_All the lights on and you are alive  
But you can't point the way to your heart  
So sublime, when the stars are aligned  
But you don't know  
You don't know the greatness you are_**

**_'Cause Blue Eyes  
You are destiny's scene  
'Cause Blue Eyes  
I just wanna be the one_**

**_I just wanna sing a song with you  
I just wanna get it on with you_**

**_'Cause Blue Eyes  
You're the secret I keep  
'Cause Blue Eyes  
I just wanna sing a song with you_**

_**I just wanna sing a song with you**_

_**I just wanna sing a song with you…"**_

* * *

Song: "Blue Eyes" (Cary Brothers)


	70. Someday

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

April 10th, 2011

"You didn't call me yesterday. How did things go with Cuddy?" Wilson asked over the phone as House headed home from work the next day.

House rolled his eyes but replied, "There wasn't a lot to tell. It went fine. Evie's not sure what to make of her but she just needs time to warm up to a new person being around."

"When's Cuddy going to see her next?" Wilson asked then.

"Tomorrow night. I told her she could come over with Rachel," he responded.

"Want to get together on Wednesday?" Wilson inquired.

"Can't," he replied, huffing out a breath. "I'm… going to meet with Nolan Wednesday."

"Seriously?" Wilson queried in surprise.

"Seriously," House mocked in the same tone as Wilson had voiced it. Changing the subject, he said, "How about Friday? Want to come over Friday?"

"I've got a date with Erika Friday," Wilson answered. "Saturday?"

"Trevor's chess meet is on Saturday. Aren't you going?" House replied skeptically.

"It's in the morning. I was thinking we could go bowling Saturday night. Bring Evie with."

"Saturday night works. Meet you there at six?" House suggested.

"Okay," Wilson agreed. "I'll see you then."

House hung up without saying goodbye, pulling into his drive a minute later. He carried Evie inside and started preparing dinner while Evie camped out on a blanket nearby with her gym. House's social calendar was filling up quickly he wryly realized. Erika and Trevor tonight, Cuddy and Rachel tomorrow, Nolan Wednesday, Cuddy and Rachel again Thursday, Saturday Trevor's meet and then bowling with Wilson, Cuddy and Rachel again on Sunday. He wondered how this was going to work and how he'd juggle everything. He knew he needed this appointment with Nolan. He hoped it would… ground him or something so that he'd know how to do this thing with Cuddy and… help Evie to adjust to having her mother in her life. He didn't know how much experience Nolan would have in situations like this. But Nolan was going to have to learn fast. He was the only one House intended to go to. The last thing he needed was another person knowing his whole life history. There were enough of those.

* * *

April 11th, 2011

House opened his door so that Cuddy and Rachel could come in Tuesday night when they arrived.

"Evie's in the living room," he informed her as he picked Rachel up.

Cuddy smiled as she removed her coat, watching Rachel chat with House as they headed for the living room. She entered the room and spotted Evie on her belly on the floor, rocking back and forth. House set Rachel down and silently took Cuddy's coat, heading back into the foyer momentarily to hang it up in the closet. Cuddy waited for him to return before she made her approach towards the baby who was already looking at her, having paused in her rocking motion to stare at her. Rachel headed right for her baby sister, sitting down on the floor next to her and unknowingly distracting Evie from Cuddy's presence. Evie smiled and cooed as Rachel reached out and patted her head.

"Hi baby G," Rachel said sweetly.

"Have you and Rachel eaten?" House asked, directing the question to Cuddy.

She looked at him, her eyes searching his face a moment without her even being aware of it. "I left work a little early so that we could get something on the way," she explained.

House nodded. "I'll be in the kitchen. I have to get Evie's dinner ready," he said, before turning to leave the room to make himself something to eat and prepare Evie's dinner at the same time.

Cuddy was surprised that Evie didn't react to his departure from the room, but then Rachel had her undivided attention as she got on her belly as well, propping her head up in her hands, her face tilted slightly to the side as she talked to the baby.

Cuddy uncertainly lowered herself to the floor nearby, not wanting to scare Evie. "Hi sweetheart," she greeted her, wanting to reach out and touch her but hesitant to.

Evie looked at her, studying her, but then she turned her head back in Rachel's direction, rocking again on her hands and knees as she cooed.

"Mommy, baby G can't walk like me," Rachel said somberly, looking at Cuddy as if it was a great tragedy.

"No honey. She's still a baby. But she'll be able to crawl soon. And then someday she'll walk and run just like you," Cuddy responded, smiling at her older daughter before turning her attention back to Evie, admiring her and wishing she could scoop her up and hold her close as she wanted to.

"I love baby G," Rachel said then, reaching out to touch Evie's cheek.

"Oh Rachel, I'm so glad you love baby G," Cuddy managed to murmur around the lump in her throat, wiping a tear away at Rachel's sweetness. "You're going to be such a good big sister to her."

House came back into the room and Evie immediately broke out into a wide grin, rocking even more frantically. He laughed in response and Cuddy's heart stopped at the sound. Hearing House laugh was a rare occurrence. It was something that used to cause her to pause mid-speech in the cafeteria at PPTH on the occasions that she was around when Wilson said something to get him started. She wished she could bottle it up and take it home with her, uncapping it in private so she could have it all to herself, listening to the timbre of it over and over until she had it memorized and could hear it in her head, just in thinking about it.

House headed to them and picked the baby up, jostling her deliberately, causing Evie to giggle and shivers to go down Cuddy's spine. "Want to feed her?" he asked, glancing at her.

She nodded and got to her feet to follow after him, Rachel trailing behind.

House set Evie down in the highchair and then put a bib on her before handing Cuddy the bowl of baby food. He pulled up a chair for her to use and she sat down, giving him a grateful smile.

"Daddy, cookie please?" Rachel asked, tugging on his pant leg.

House couldn't refrain from smirking. It was the question he heard the most from her. "Sure Rachel," he replied, heading to the pantry.

Cuddy moistened her lips and then dipped the spoon in the bowl, lifting it up and to the baby's mouth a moment later.

"Keep the bowl out of her reach," House advised as he returned from the pantry, looking at Cuddy and Evie. Cuddy was still dressed from work and he imagined she had no clue the havoc Evie could wreck if that bowl got in her grasp; something he'd learned to be watchful regarding out of personal experience.

Cuddy nodded, still waiting for Evie to determine whether or not she was going to accept a bite.

House handed Rachel a cookie and then approached Evie, smoothing her hair. "Come on, kid. You're hungry. I know you are."

Evie locked her blue eyes with his for a moment, babbling in response, and Cuddy took advantage of her mouth opening to sneak a little bit in. Evie looked back at her in shock but ate it, hesitantly opening her mouth for more.

"What is this?" Cuddy inquired, directing her gaze to House as he sat down at the table to eat a sandwich he'd prepared for himself.

"Peaches and baby cereal," House answered, taking a swallow of milk from his glass. Up to this point he'd only given her vegetables. But Evie had a tendency already to prefer sweeter veggies to the more bland options and House was convinced she wouldn't put up much of a fight in Cuddy feeding her when she was being offered something sweet for a change.

Cuddy nodded and turned back to the baby, spooning up some more to feed her. House's conclusion was proven right. Evie ate everything without argument, though her eyes shifted back and forth from Cuddy to House repeatedly.

House put his plate and glass in the dishwasher when he was done, grabbing a washcloth a second later to clean the baby up with. He wiped her down and then lifted her out, extending her to Cuddy. But Evie immediately protested, trying to cling to him, starting to cry.

Cuddy bit her lip but mumbled, "She's not ready. It's okay. I… I'll hold her another time."

House nodded in acknowledgement and brought Evie to his chest. "I should probably change her diaper anyway," he said before heading to the baby's room.

Cuddy watched them go, sighed, and then turned to grab the washcloth, rinsing it out. "Come here, Rachel," she called, noticing the cookie crumbs all around Rachel's mouth. Rachel came willingly enough but balked when Cuddy wiped her mouth, running off the minute Cuddy set her down. Once the washcloth was hanging over the sink, Cuddy dried her hands off and brought the chair she had been sitting in, back to the table.

"Want to go through some of her pictures on my laptop?" House offered as he exited Evie's room with her and ran into Cuddy in the hallway. "I'll… send you any that you want copies of," he added after a pause.

"That would be great, House," she replied, smiling at him in appreciation.

House settled Evie down on the floor in the living room before heading back to his bedroom to retrieve his laptop, returning with it a moment later. He opened it, entered his password, and found the file she'd need, clicking on it before extending the laptop to her.

Cuddy watched him over the computer as he turned and sank down on the floor before sprawling out before Evie, Rachel immediately lying down next to him. House glanced at Rachel and shook his head in amusement before grabbing Evie's chick from nearby. He wound it up and set it down in the space between them and where Evie was. Evie stared at the chick intently, babbling. But she was facing it so she seemed to be working through the logistics of how to get at it when she couldn't just roll over there.

"Come on, Evie," House cajoled, winding the chick back up when it stopped chirping.

"Come on, baby," Rachel echoed, patting the floor even though she didn't know what her daddy was trying to get Evie to do.

Evie got up on her hands and knees and started rocking, causing House to smirk. Erika had tried to get her to crawl the night before but Evie hadn't been motivated enough. House was determined to get Evie to crawl while he was present though, knowing that Michelle and Sandy were also working on her at daycare. If House was successful at his efforts to get Evie to crawl tonight, he had no objection to Cuddy being here and witnessing it.

Cuddy watched them for a few minutes but then began to click through pictures, realizing her biggest problem would definitely be narrowing down which ones she wanted to copy. Twenty minutes later Rachel started giggling and clapping. Cuddy looked up to see Evie had actually moved forward several inches. Though she was sorely tempted to get down on the floor with everyone, the skirt made it difficult and too, she was afraid she'd disrupt Evie's concentration. She quickly set aside the computer to watch, her eyes going back and forth between House and Evie as Evie smiled, growing more excited by Rachel's response to what she'd done. But she lost her balance then and fell forward. Cuddy gasped while the room fell silent.

Evie lifted her head and gave House a doleful look, her lower lip trembling and causing Cuddy's heart to clench even if she didn't dare reach for her, knowing that would definitely set her off.

"Come on, Evie. You're okay," House said calmly, waiting to see whether she'd cry or pick herself back up again.

Rachel squirmed next to him before getting on her hands and knees and crawling to Evie, turning around to come alongside her. "You okay, baby G?" she asked sympathetically, tilting her head down to bring her face to Evie's, their noses practically touching as Evie stared at her, her eyes crossing in the process.

"Come on, Evie. Come to dad," House said again, reaching for the chick.

Evie looked back at him and then raised herself up, her eyes flickering between Rachel, House, and the chick.

Cuddy found herself holding her breath, watching the baby as she started rocking again.

Rachel started to crawl forward and as if following her sister's cue, Evie slid her hand forward on the floor before bringing her knee along after it, inching forward.

Cuddy's eyes went to House and she bit her lip at the look of pride on his face when Evie brought her other side forward as well, slowly edging towards him. He turned his head, verifying that Cuddy was watching this, and their eyes locked briefly, a look firing between them that neither knew how to interpret.

House broke it first, refocusing on Evie as she started chortling and pounding on the floor with one hand. He turned the knob on the chick once again and Evie went back to crawling, sinking to her belly once the chick was within reach.

She'd only crawled two or three feet at most, but for House it was like she'd sprinted a 500-meter dash and outran all the competition. He pushed himself upright and picked her up, swinging her in the air a second before taking the toy from her hand to wind it up once more. Replacing her on the floor, he headed off to get the camcorder, unaware of Cuddy's eyes on him as he left the room, her fingers brushing away a few tears that had fallen in witnessing not just Evie's first time crawling but in having the opportunity to witness the joy he took in their daughter.

* * *

April 12th, 2011

Kate was on the phone when Cuddy walked in the next day but she motioned for her to enter and take her seat, two fingers up to indicate how long she'd be.

When she hung up a couple minutes later, she gave Cuddy a smile and asked, "How are you? How'd meeting your daughter go?"

Embarrassed, Cuddy blushed before twitching her mouth to the side, squinting one eye as if explaining would be painful. After a moment she took a deep breath and then filled Kate in on what had happened Saturday night, following it up with an account of Sunday.

"But you survived it," Kate said when Cuddy ended her story. "And House allowed you to stick around, even though you thought he'd send you home."

Cuddy nodded, placing her elbow up on the arm of her chair to cup her chin in her hand, her expression one of dazed affection.

"How did things go yesterday night?" Kate inquired, not missing the expression crossing Cuddy's face.

Cuddy dropped her arm, straightening in her seat. "Evie crawled for the first time and I was able to be there for it," she admitted with a smile. "She… won't let me hold her. At least not when she's awake. But she doesn't seem to have a problem with me being nearby. She let me feed her in her highchair. She just… doesn't know me enough to allow me to hold her."

"I'm sure she'll come around in time," Kate said reassuringly. "Some things just take time and effort."

Cuddy nodded, biting her lip as she wondered how much time it would take.

"And how are things with House?" Kate asked next.

Cuddy sobered slightly, pursing her lips. "It's awkward and… uncomfortable at times. He… doesn't know how to act around me and I don't know how to act around him. When he's… focused on the baby or on Rachel, he's great. He… surprises me. Talking about Evie is easy for him. I don't even think _he _is aware of either how comfortable he is discussing her or how much he's changed in becoming a father. But when it comes to interacting together… it isn't like before. Things are… stilted and unnatural. We… really don't talk. Unless it's about Evie or Rachel. He… he treats me like a stranger. He's… the politest I've ever seen him. He tries to reassure me regarding Evie and her standoffishness. I appreciate it. I… really, honestly, can use it. But it… kind of disturbs me too. Sometimes it's like I don't even know who he is anymore. He's _great_ with the girls. _Really._ But… at the same time, I miss the House I used to know. There are moments when he'll say something that sounds like him. But…" Cuddy let her words trail off, uncertain how to continue.

"Have you talked about what happened between you at all?" Kate queried, mulling over what Cuddy had said.

"Not really," she admitted. "There have been a few times when I've asked him something and been caught off guard when he answered me honestly, instead of deflecting or being dismissive. I asked him Sunday if he had really wanted Evie from the start and he… I thought he's shut me down but he said he had. House said Evie was the 'only good thing to come out of an otherwise insufferable situation'," Cuddy acknowledged, swallowing hard against the lump that constricted in her airway just thinking about his admission. "That… was hard to hear. But he's right, I guess. And I did apologize then. For how I reacted and… for hurting him."

"What did he say to that?" Kate asked, leaning forward on her desk.

Cuddy wiped a tear away before admitting, "He said it didn't matter anymore and I couldn't go back and change the past. He basically said he wasn't interested in extracting retribution from me. House said my guilt does nothing for him and he… doesn't want me to be miserable. He just wants me to do right by Evie. Then, shortly after that he sent me home. I imagine that was for both of our sakes. Honestly Kate, I'm not sure what to think. I… know I need to concentrate on being a mother to our daughter. And I want to do that! But I… I also want to be with House. I want things back to the way they were. _Not everything_. Just our relationship. I want him to not treat me like a _stranger_ but… to love me as he did and treat me as he… _used_ to."

"A lot has happened between you, Lisa. This situation has affected both of you," Kate replied.

Cuddy sighed but asked, "Are you saying he might never treat me the way he used to?"

"No. Not at all. I'm just expressing the fact that you might have to accept he isn't the same guy he was before. Are you… afraid that he isn't any longer the man you are in love with?" Kate couldn't help inquiring.

"No I…" Cuddy began to deny, shaking her head adamantly. And then she paused to actually consider the question. "I… House always used to say people don't change. But that's not true. They can. Still… No. I think House is still… _House_. He's just… not House with me."

Kate nodded.

Cuddy sighed dramatically, looking away before meeting Kate's gaze once more. "I… I really just want to _tell him everything!_"

"Do you think he's ready for that?" Kate asked seriously, studying her. "Do you think he'd give you a chance to explain and hear you out? Do you think he'd believe you if you did try to explain what happened on your end of things right now?"

Cuddy exhaled, staring down at the floor. "No," she admitted softly. "No, I don't."

"The decision is yours to make, Lisa," Kate replied. "But I think relationships take time to be built back up after people get hurt as much as you and House were hurt in what happened between you. And sometimes, you just have to wait until the other person is ready to hear what you want to say. There's often a right time and a wrong time. Knowing when the right time is will be up to you."

Cuddy nodded in understanding. She'd try and wait. But it wouldn't be easy.

* * *

Nolan was just heading back to his office when he saw House approaching with his daughter from the other end of the hall. "Hey," he declared in greeting, smiling broadly as he reached out to clap House on the shoulder as he arrived at the office door. "Fancy seeing you in a place like this!"

House rolled his eyes but his mouth quirked up. "Are you welcoming me back aboard the mother ship?" he asked sarcastically. "Is my room ready?"

"We only have one room with an availability right now," Nolan replied. "And I'm pretty sure you'd object to your new roommate even more than your old one."

House raised an eyebrow but Nolan put up a hand to ward off his questions. "Patient confidentiality," he said with a grin, knowing he was succeeding in getting House's curiosity aroused while putting him at ease in being here at the same time.

Nolan waited for House to enter the office ahead of him before closing the door and heading for his seat. "How are you?" he asked then.

'My kid's mom is back in the picture," House replied, getting straight to the point.

Nolan looked at him in surprise before nodding and dryly stating, "I'm good. Thanks for asking."

House grunted but otherwise made no comment, focusing on unbuckling Evie from her carrier so that he could lift her free, settling her in his lap before digging out a bottle to feed her.

"She's gotten big," Nolan said in acknowledgement.

House looked at him skeptically and quipped, "That probably has something to do with… I don't know… the passage of time perhaps. Or maybe her calorie intake. Or… the steroids I'm slipping her to make sure she's the baby with the biggest six-pack on the block."

"You say that in jest but watch out because I really might conclude that available bed has your name written on it," Nolan taunted, reclining in his chair before folding his hands over his belly. "So Dr. Cuddy is back, huh?" he inquired then, redirecting the conversation to what House had obviously come to discuss.

House shrugged. "She came to me a week and a half ago, wanting to be a part of my daughter's life."

"_Your_ daughter?" Nolan asked.

"_My_ daughter," House replied, giving Nolan a look.

Nolan didn't argue, instead just making a mental note of House's phraseology. "And what did you tell her?" he asked.

"I told her I'd think about it. Then I… let her come over this weekend to meet her. And now I've agreed to let her visit Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays," House answered simply.

Nolan nodded. "How did it go?" he inquired next.

House gave a simple rundown of what had taken place during the weekend and then what had happened the night before. Nolan acknowledged what he was saying, bobbing his head, but otherwise left House to explain it however he wanted without comment. When House was done, Nolan looked at the baby in his arms before meeting House's gaze. "Are you okay with Dr. Cuddy being back on the scene?"

House pursed his lips, averting his gaze. "I want her to be involved. I want… Evie to have that. But… at the same time, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do this. Evie's… wary. I'm… uncomfortable half the time. There's… nothing _normal_ about this situation."

"You don't _like_ normal," Nolan argued, an eyebrow raised.

"Normal's overrated," House replied acerbically. "But _this_… This is… _change_ and I… don't _do _change."

Nolan nodded, following House so far. "Eventually change becomes normal. It becomes 'routine,'" he said.

House huffed out a breath and muttered, "I'm not sure I want this to become routine."

"Then what _do _you want?" Nolan asked.

House shook his head. "I don't know," he finally acknowledged. "I don't know what I want."

Nolan grunted. "And there you have it, folks," he quipped. "The great Dr. Gregory House doesn't know _what_ he wants."

House gave him a dirty look and asked, "How much am I paying for this again?!"

Nolan chuckled dryly. "I'll send you a bill," he replied.

House set the bottle aside to place Evie on his shoulder and burp her. After a moment he clarified, "So you want me to tell you what I want?"

Nolan shrugged. "I want you to _know_ what you want. Then I want you to tell me so I can help you sort it out."

House pursed his lips, looking away. "Same time next week?" he asked disdainfully.

Nolan chuckled again. "That works for me," he agreed. "But tell me this, what is it about Dr. Cuddy that makes you most uncomfortable?"

"Where do I start?" House responded scornfully before sobering. He hesitated a minute but finally looked away and muttered, "Evie isn't the only one whose life she wants to be back in. At least, that's what she said when she sought me out at the beginning of the month."

Nolan studied House in surprise, having heard House's side of just how hard the pregnancy had been, though internally he had doubts House had really told him everything due to a few deflections he'd made. "She wants a relationship with you?" he queried.

"I don't know!" he huffed in annoyance. "She… wants me to… _love_ her!"

Nolan was amused at how House made the word "love" sound like a curse word. Somehow he managed to suppress the smile that sought to escape his control. He mulled over the implications of that and then said, "You made yourself vulnerable to her way back when. And it bit you in the ass," he continued, not mincing words. "It's understandable that you aren't interested in going back down that path."

Straightening, Nolan leaned forward and calmly asked, "So, if you aren't interested, what are you afraid of?"

"How about the very real possibility that she'll cause me to end up right back in here?" House deflected.

It was Nolan's turn to roll his eyes. "You survived a lot of crap in order to have your daughter. Are you seriously trying to convince me that you might now have to survive something worse? _AND _that you'd be willing to allow it when you now have your kid to look out for?"

Nolan had a point. It couldn't get worse than it had. He'd never allow that to happen. But it didn't necessarily mean things would be "peachy." House looked up at the ceiling and then met Nolan's gaze. "I love her," he muttered quietly. "I _still _love her. But… I can't do it again."

"You don't have to," Nolan replied easily. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Dr. Cuddy doesn't have any power over you. She's not pregnant anymore. What does she have to manipulate you with?"

"I'm… not saying she's trying to _manipulate_ me with anything," House responded wryly. "I just… don't know how wise it is to let her back into my life."

"And its virtually impossible to not have her in your life if she's in your daughter's life," Nolan acknowledged before saying, "But then we are back to the question of what it is you want."

House rubbed a hand over his face and sarcastically mumbled, "Well doc, better luck curing your next patient."

"I'm not trying to cure you," Nolan replied, shaking his head. "Believe me, if I thought I had a cure for all that ails you, I'd be a _very _rich man. All I'm trying to do is help you sort out what you want and then see about what we can do to attain that. _Assuming _it's within the realm of the possible. And the legal," he added as an afterthought.

House rolled his eyes but smirked as he got to his feet with Evie, ready to head for home.

* * *

April 13th, 2011

House opened his door with Evie in his arms, surprised when Cuddy extended a bag in his direction.

"I thought I'd get Chinese for supper. I… hope you haven't already eaten," she said quietly, reaching out with her free hand to brush Evie's hair back with her fingers.

"No," he replied, his eyebrows knit together as he contemplated this move on her part.

Cuddy met his eyes and gave him a small smile. "Hi," she murmured then, realizing she hadn't even greeted him.

House was thoroughly confused by her but he stepped out of the way to let her enter, Rachel having already squeaked past while he was distracted by the sudden appearance of "meals on wheels." Once she was inside he shut the door and then turned, walking past her to head into the kitchen. He got Evie situated in her highchair before removing plates to set out on the dining room table while Cuddy entered the room and opened the bag to unpack out what she'd ordered. House brought Evie's highchair over to the table and headed back to pull out the baby cereal from the cabinet, preparing her food as Cuddy helped Rachel to take a seat. He decided if he was going to over-think this, he'd at least put it on hold until Cuddy left later that night. Getting drinks for everyone, he handed over Evie's dinner to Cuddy so that she could get her underway, trying to block out the fact that they were… having a family dinner together.

But Evie was not interested in being fed by Cuddy tonight and within a few minutes, House saw Cuddy's disposition change before his eyes to one of disappointment. Not knowing what else to do, he took the spoon and bowl from her. He was almost relieved when Evie gave him a hard time too. Then he made one final effort, unconsciously making airplane engine noises with his mouth and suddenly the hatch was open for him.

He looked wryly at the baby why she swallowed before looking to Cuddy who managed a weak smile. A minute later she excused herself and got up, slipping away from the table, the bathroom door closing in the hallway a minute later. House didn't know what he could do about this. But if this continued indefinitely, something would have to be figured out.

Feeding Evie another bite, he then looked at Rachel.

"Where mommy go?" she asked, using her hand to shovel in a fistful of rice.

"Your mommy just needs a minute to herself," he settled on replying, handing her the sippy cup when she started hiccupping a second later, all that rice clogging up in her throat.

House looked up at Cuddy when she returned several minutes later, not missing the red-rimmed appearance around her eyes even if she didn't meet his gaze. It would make sense if he was the one punishing Cuddy for the past. Instead it was his kid seemingly out for blood. It wasn't intentional. Evie was not being vindictive. At least, he couldn't imagine that being possible, even if she _was _his offspring. But nevertheless, her fastidious fickleness was taking a toll. Unfortunately, House _didn't_ have a solution for this yet. And that meant Cuddy was going to be stuck roughing it with another daughter with mommy bonding issues. For the time being, anyway.

* * *

April 15th, 2011

House entered the bowling alley with Evie asleep in her carrier Saturday night, spotting Wilson at the lane he always rented for them. Personally, House thought Wilson always got the same lane because he was of the opinion that one day he'd know all its nuances and be able to perfect his throw. Wilson on the other hand was convinced that House secretly believed Wilson _thought_ he was at an advantage in using this lane, and therefore, trusted that if he could one day convince House he _did_ actually have an advantage, from that point forward maybe it would throw House's game off. Either way, the rationality behind it all sucked. But House wasn't about to object. It was one constant that was unnecessary and yet oddball enough to prove relaxing when he needed to get his mind off things.

"You didn't bring your own ball?" Wilson asked in surprise when House approached.

House smirked even if the question didn't quite match up with what he was thinking and Wilson automatically sighed and rolled his eyes, reading his mind. For House, the fact that somewhere in the midst of bowling Wilson would always refer to "balls" and give House an opportunity to be crass, really… just highly amused him somehow.

House shrugged after setting Evie's carrier down on a chair and replied, "I'll make an exception this time and play with someone else's balls. My kid is getting too heavy to cart around in this carrier. I can't carry her and my bowling bag. If she gets any heavier, I might have to put her on a restricted diet soon."

Wilson shook his head but didn't comment as House set about testing out his hold on various bowling balls nearby.

"How'd things go with Cuddy Tuesday?" Wilson asked, his eyes upon the sleeping baby in her carrier.

"Tuesday was better than Thursday," House wryly replied.

"Cuddy came by Thursday too?" he asked in disbelief.

"How is she going to build a relationship with my kid if she doesn't come over several times a week?" House inquired pointedly, his irritation detectable underneath.

"I guess," Wilson replied. "What happened Thursday?"

"Evie's punishing Cuddy for being absent so long," House mumbled, settling on the ball he was going to use.

"That _does _sound like something a kid of yours might do," Wilson muttered sarcastically. "Though I have not seen any signs of maliciousness in my angelic niece to date."

"That's because you haven't witnessed her give Cuddy a hard time yet," House said dryly.

"So, what does that mean?" Wilson asked as House stepped up to the lane, aligning his ball just so before releasing it to throw it down the lane.

"It means if Evie doesn't come around soon, I'm going to be stuck trying to figure out a way to bring her around," House answered, pleased with the number of pins he'd successfully knocked down. He waited for his ball to come back to him, reaching for it and smiling smugly when he managed a spare a moment later.

Wilson waited for House's score to electronically register on the blue screen over their heads before grabbing his ball and heading out to knock some pins down. He cheered when he got a strike the first shot, putting him in the lead on the scoreboard.

House rolled his eyes in annoyance but said nothing, determined to knock Wilson down a peg or two with his next score. Using someone else's ball was throwing his game. He was certain of it.

* * *

April 16th, 2011

Evie was asleep when Cuddy and Rachel came in the next morning. House had intentionally kept her in his arms, determined to hand her over to Cuddy the minute she walked in the door so that she could at least hold her kid for a while before Evie was awake to make this difficult. It was pathetic really. He loved his kid. He couldn't blame his kid. She was overly cautious about Cuddy and… probably reacting to his hesitancies. And somehow that had him reduced to this… state of disquiet and this inability to just let what would happen, happen and leave it to Cuddy to deal with.

House waited until Cuddy had removed her coat before saying, "Here. Take her."

She hesitated but then reached for the baby, taking her and placing her on her chest, her left arm wrapping up and around her securely before Cuddy turned her head and pressed a kiss to the sleeping baby's head.

"You'll get through this, Cuddy," House said quietly after noticing her unconscious gesture of affection.

She met his gaze and gave him a small smile, nodding before House directed his attention to Rachel.

While House and Rachel went into the living room, Cuddy slipped into Evie's bedroom, settling with her in the rocking chair. She rocked for a while, her hand caressing the baby's back, inhaling Evie's baby scent, their breathing falling naturally into the same rhythm before too long. In the other room she heard the piano but instead of music she'd expect from House, he was playing broken children's tunes and Cuddy knew he had Rachel with him and was helping her play. She was divided between wanting to witness them and having this moment with her daughter. In the end she stayed right where she was, not about to squander an opportunity to hold her close while she had it.

A half hour later House heard Evie start to cry and almost set Rachel down to go to her but then decided to leave things up to Cuddy. If she needed him to take her, she'd find him. It wasn't as if he and Rachel were being particularly quiet and hard to locate.

Unfortunately, the crying only grew in volume and intensity and House exhaled heavily. "Your sister is going to make your mommy have a meltdown," House muttered to Rachel under his breath.

She looked up at him and smiled.

"You're not supposed to _smile_," he admonished, giving her a look. "You're supposed to nod solemnly, like this." And with that House placed his hands on her jaw and made her head go up and down several times, which only caused Rachel to giggle, therein ruining the seriousness he had been aiming for.

He looked up a second later as Evie's crying grew louder still and Cuddy entered the room with her. "House…" she mumbled plaintively.

"Yeah, okay," he replied wearily, setting Rachel down to reach for the baby.

Cuddy handed her over and he adjusted her on his shoulder, patting her back. "Want to make her a bottle?" he suggested.

Cuddy nodded, looking away and biting her lip before heading towards the kitchen.

Evie continued crying for a couple minutes longer but she stopped around the time Cuddy reentered the room, her bottle in hand. House pursed his lips and got up from the piano bench to sit down on the couch. "You feed her," he instructed.

Cuddy sighed but sat down next to him, turning towards him as House laid the baby in the crook of his arm so that Cuddy could slip the bottle in. Evie took it, chugging it down, and House smiled affectionately at her. Cuddy looked at him, their faces less than two feet apart, and she relaxed slightly from the tense state she'd been in from the moment Evie started stirring in her arms.

"Was bonding with her hard for you?" Cuddy asked quietly, her eyes searching his when he looked up at her.

House considered the question a minute before answering. "I don't know. I don't really remember. I brought her home from the hospital and she was a piece of cake until one in the morning. Then she wouldn't stop crying. I thought I was going to lose it. 3 a.m. rolled around and I… called Wilson and then conference-called Cameron," he admitted, figuring Cuddy needed to know not everything had gone smoothly for him, either. "Even Chase joined in for a differential."

Cuddy laughed softly, glancing down at the baby and then over at Rachel who was playing with some toys on the floor before looking back up at House.

He raised an eyebrow wryly and asked, "You know anything about kangaroo care?"

"The program hospitals do with preemies?" she clarified, biting her lip as she got distracted in the depths of his eyes.

House nodded before dryly stating, "The Aussie told me I ought to try it. I… felt like a moron. Evie kept crying but I didn't have anything else to fall back on so I kept her on my chest in just a diaper. And when _I _couldn't take anymore, I came out with her and sat down at the piano. After a while, she did calm down. I don't know. Maybe I just needed to calm down myself in order for her to do the same. Or maybe she'd gotten too worked up and it just took longer that first time. But anyway, I wasn't ready to buy into the whole… kangaroo _thing._ Except I put her back in her crib and hadn't even fallen asleep again when she started back up with the caterwauling. Those first few weeks, I spent a _lot _of time with a baby on my chest," he concluded. "But I suppose that's when she bonded with me. It wasn't overnight. It took time. But… she survived it. Maybe she just… needed to know that she was safe with me. Maybe that's what she needs to determine where you are concerned."

Cuddy nodded, taking the now empty bottle from Evie when she released her hold on it. House lifted the baby up and burped her while Cuddy headed for the kitchen to place the bottle in the sink. Rachel ran out of the room but returned a moment later with a book.

When Cuddy entered she asked, "Mommy, you read to me?"

Cuddy smiled and sat back down next to House on the couch, lifting Rachel up into her lap. "Mommy would love to read to you, Rachel," she murmured, taking the book from her and feeling like maybe she wasn't a complete failure in all this. She flipped the book open and held it with one hand, freeing her other hand to reach towards Evie, stroking her cheek as House stood her up in his lap.

They'd get through this she decided. It would all work out. Maybe this wasn't going as easily as she'd like it to. Maybe she didn't want to have to wait and wade through what felt unnatural. Maybe she had wanted Evie to embrace her as her mother from the moment she'd come in the door. But it could have been worse. It could have been _so much worse_. And if there was still hope, then why bury herself underneath the niggling doubts that this wouldn't work out? Someday it would. House seemed to believe that. He appeared confident that someday she'd have it all figured out. And maybe someday… she'd even have House's heart back and they'd cease being strangers and start being… lovers. She knew her heart was already his.

Cuddy bit back a smile before allowing her eyes to return to the page. Maybe life wasn't ever an actual fairy tale. And maybe people were often their own villains in their life stories. But that didn't mean you couldn't have a happy ending. And she wanted one.

"Once upon a time…" she began to read.

-----

"_**You can go  
You can start all over again  
You can try to find a way to make another day go by  
You can hide  
Hold all your feelings inside  
You can try to carry on when all you want to do is cry**__**someday**__**  
We'll figure all this out  
Try to put an end to all our doubt  
Try to find a way to make things better now and  
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud  
We'll be better off somehow  
Someday**_

_**And maybe**_

_**Now wait  
And try to find another mistake  
If you throw it all away then maybe you can change your mind  
You can run, oh  
And when everything is over and done  
You can shine a little light on everything around you  
Man it's good to be so warm**_

_**And I don't want to wait  
I just want to know  
I just want to hear you tell me so  
Give it to me straight  
Tell it to me slow**_

_**'Cause maybe someday  
We'll figure all this out  
We'll put an end to all our doubt  
Try to find a way to just feel better now and  
Maybe someday we'll live our lives out loud  
We'll be better off somehow  
Someday**_

_**'Cause sometimes we don't really notice  
Just how good it can get  
So maybe we should start all over  
Start all over again**_

_**'Cause sometimes we don't really notice  
Just how good it can get  
So maybe we should start all over  
Start all over again"**_

* * *

Song: "Someday" (Rob Thomas)


	71. About You Now

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

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* * *

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(Thanks for coming to my rescue with a name, DIYD09!!!!!)

* * *

End of April, 2011

The next couple weeks passed by slowly for both Cuddy and House. Evie was fine with Cuddy being present. But whenever Cuddy reached for her or tried to engage her, Evie turned away or cried for House. He watched helplessly as Cuddy was rejected time after time by his daughter and though Cuddy put up a valiant fight, he could see that this was taking a toll on her. He hadn't expected to ever feel bad for her because she'd missed out on bonding with Evie from the get go. Now, he could admit to _himself_ anyway that he did.

The question was, what more could he do about the situation? Nolan had asked him almost three weeks ago what he wanted. He'd asked again at each of the two subsequent appointments. House didn't yet have an answer, other than that he wanted Evie to have both a mother and a father, Rachel deserving the same. And while House knew this was a very bad idea and would lead to greater issues for him down the road, he saw no other option. Cuddy and Rachel would have to move in. At least temporarily. At least until Evie came around.

* * *

May 1st, 2011

House determined _before _he said _anything _to Cuddy about… moving in, he'd make a last ditch effort to _force_ Evie and Cuddy both to just get this bonding thing in gear. Therefore, when she showed up just after lunchtime on Sunday, he waited only until she and Rachel had made it in the door before thrusting the baby into her arms.

Cuddy took the baby, having no other choice, but she shot House a stunned look, her eyes narrowing in disbelief.

For a moment Evie was just as bewildered as Cuddy and made no objection whatsoever, staring at her mother. But when Cuddy's panicked eyes dropped to the baby, Evie's face screwed up and she started to cry.

House picked Rachel up and stated over Evie's cries, "We're going to see a man about a dog. He's just around the corner. Rachel and I will be back in an hour or so."

"What?!" she gaped at him, taken aback. House was _leaving?! _Was he _crazy?!_ She couldn't handle Evie all by herself!

House reached for the doorknob before looking at her. Huffing out a breath, he muttered, "Cuddy, babies cry. Just do the best you can. You're the kid's mom. I'll be back in an hour."

"House, you have to take her with you," Cuddy urged him. "Forcing her isn't going to accomplish anything! It's just going to make her miserable and probably… hate me more."

House shook his head, stepping out the door. "Cuddy, she doesn't _hate _you," he admonished before sobering. "And you're Dean of Medicine at a hospital. Don't tell me you can't handle this. She's just a crying baby. Toughen up."

And then he was gone, pulling the door closed behind him, leaving her alone with a bawling seven-month-old. Cuddy looked helplessly at the distraught baby in her arms, not knowing how to comfort her when she was certain that Evie just wanted House right now and wouldn't settle for anything else. Cuddy hadn't bargained on this move on House's part. He'd been patient and oddly comforting the last several weeks, insistent that Evie would come around in her own time. Now he'd… abandoned her to deal with their daughter alone. What… what was she supposed to do now?

Babies had _never _bothered Cuddy. _Crying_ babies didn't even bother her. But when it was her own and she couldn't seem to do anything right, that _terrified _her. Cuddy grabbed the door handle and pulled it open but House was nowhere to be seen. Her eyes flickered closed in angst and she forced herself to shut the door before wrapping her arms more securely around the baby, pressing her against her heart, even as the baby struggled in her arms.

* * *

"Baby G crying," Rachel whispered in concern from where she and House were hiding around the house.

"Baby G will be okay. Your mommy has her," he reassured as he waited, the door having opened and shut a minute before.

"Daddy, where we going?" Rachel asked, her head tilting to the side.

House huffed out a breath, not at all sure that he'd done the right thing in forcing Cuddy to take Evie but certain that he'd never know if he never tried. Evie crying was hard enough for _him _to deal with. But what else could he try?

Turning his head to make sure Cuddy had gone back inside, he adjusted Rachel in his arms before limping down the driveway with her, the flyer he'd ripped off a telephone pole secured in his pocket. "We're going to check out some puppies," he finally replied.

She broke out into a smile. "You getting me a puppy?" she asked in delight.

"Maybe," he drew out somberly as he headed past Erika's house and towards the corner, knowing maybe really _did _mean yes where Rachel was concerned.

Rachel clapped her hands excitedly and House couldn't help but smile. He wasn't _that _sure about this dog thing but Rachel was right. He did have a big yard. A dog could be a security asset. And… House remembered how lonely it had been as a kid to be on a military base moving every time his father was relocated, not allowed to have a pet to keep him company. He hadn't been allowed a dog but there was no reason why he couldn't fulfill another kid's dream. Besides, regardless of what he might have said, Hector had… won him over somewhat. Not that House would ever admit _that _to anyone. But he did have one law he'd lay down real fast. There was _no way_ it would be sleeping on his bed. Or chewing on his sneakers.

Pulling the flyer out, he verified the address. He'd called the owner that morning to make sure he'd be home. Walking up the next driveway, House shoved the flyer back in his pocket and rang the doorbell. Five minutes later they were being escorted out back to check out a litter of chocolate lab puppies.

* * *

"Evie, please don't cry!" Cuddy almost begged. "Daddy will be back soon. He just left for a little bit. And mommy's right here. Mommy's got you. She's not going anywhere." Realizing she was talking about herself in the third person, Cuddy squeezed her eyes closed before carrying the baby into the kitchen to prepare a bottle for her and try that. Her hands shook as she tried to make it one-handed while shushing the baby, rocking in place with her, but it was making no difference. Evie continued to cry like her world had fallen apart, which was exactly how Cuddy felt in having the baby thrust upon her as House had done. Trying again, she murmured, "Evie, Evie, honey, don't cry. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I'm… trying. I'm trying to be your mommy. I'm trying to comfort you and do what I can. I know you just want daddy but please don't cry." Even to herself her plea sounded like a whine.

She shakily attempted to put the bottle in Evie's mouth but the baby rejected it, only growing more agitated, red-faced and tear-streaked. Setting the bottle down, she didn't even care that it tipped over spraying formula everywhere momentarily. Ignoring it, she turned with the baby and headed for her room. She sat down in the rocking chair and alternated between patting the baby's back and rubbing it, suddenly unsure what House did to get her calm. But Cuddy's agitation was not helping the situation either. When the chair started banging into the wall with the force of her rocking, Cuddy stopped its motion and slipped out of the chair, sinking to the floor with the crying baby in her arms, rocking the two of them, her eyes tightly pressed together. She tried to think of something that might help. She was ready to do anything. It occurred to her that maybe a lullaby would help. The only problem was that Evie was now wailing so loudly that she couldn't think to come up with lyrics. That just struck her as pathetic, but then, Cuddy believed she was pathetic. She couldn't even comfort her own child. She just didn't know how to. And it came as no surprise when she found herself crying too.

* * *

The minute the puppies came into view, Rachel was struggling in his arms to be put down. House quickly set her on the ground before she could kick him in his bad leg due to her exuberance. She took off running and House followed, approaching the rollicking puppies. The mother appeared laid back. She didn't move at all in Rachel's haste to scramble over to where the puppies were.

The owner looked at House and said, "Well, I don't think you'll be able to leave without taking one with you."

House gave him a wry look but he nodded. "They're good with kids?"

"They are," the man reassured. "Labs make some of the best family dogs."

Rachel had settled up right alongside the mother, puppies wriggling over Rachel's lap, succeeding in licking her face and hands as she tried to pet each one in turn. "Daddy! Puppies!"

House chuckled and headed towards her. It was a good thing Cuddy hadn't seemed interested in protesting against getting Rachel a puppy, accepting the fact that it would be at House's place. He wasn't sure he could have crushed Rachel's hope. And now that she was in dog heaven, he was certain of that.

She giggled madly while puppy after puppy jumped up on her, managing to knock her over. But she didn't cry or protest, continuing to giggle as they came around to her face and continued licking her.

House made his approach before one could step on her head, pulling another one off her where he'd sprawled across her hair, chewing at it. Sitting down carefully, he placed Rachel in his lap. "You like these puppies?" House asked.

"I LOVE puppies!" she exclaimed, beaming up at him as another jumped on House's leg, licking and nibbling at his fingers a minute later.

"Do you think Evie would like these puppies?" House inquired with a frown, feigning uncertainty.

"She would!" Rachel assured him, wide-eyed and nodding a mile a minute.

"I don't know. They're kinda slobbery," House pressed.

"Daddy, they are SO cute! Need one!" she informed him, wrapping her arms around a puppy's neck and squeezing it until House thought he better rescue the poor thing.

House studied the puppies, one after the other. "Do you think your mommy will be okay with a puppy?" he wryly queried.

"Mommy loves puppies! She told me!" Rachel volunteered.

House wasn't so sure about that. He'd never even seen Cuddy with a dog. But, she hadn't objected to him going to see someone about a dog. Her only issue had been Evie. "Which one should we take home with us?" he asked Rachel then, committing himself in her glee.

"Umm," she mumbled in deliberation, looking around them. "This one!" she finally decided, grabbing the puppy who was currently chewing on House's shoelace unbeknownst to him.

"Great," House muttered under his breath, his fate of chewed shoes stretching before him. Setting Rachel on her feet, he picked up the puppy she'd selected and looked at the owner who was standing nearby, petting the mother dog who had wandered over to him to escape her stampeding pups. "We're taking this one."

"Okay," the man acknowledged. "I'll get the paperwork."

House watched him go back inside the house before turning his attention to the wriggling puppy he was holding onto which was biting at the skin between his thumb and index finger. Then he glanced at Rachel as she went around and gave kisses to every puppy she could get her hands on. House watched her in amusement and when the owner returned, signed the paperwork before handing him the puppy to fish out his wallet. Digging out several large bills, he counted them out and handed them to the man before taking the puppy back. He accepted the puppy's papers before folding them and tucking them in a pocket. The owner went over his suggestions regarding pet food and supplies while House contemplated the dent his pocketbook was taking. He'd have to go to the store sometime tonight after Cuddy and Rachel went home.

Rachel ran back to him then and wrapped her arms around his leg in happiness. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" she declared over and over again. House figured he could handle his wallet being a little lighter. He took her hand, as he couldn't carry her and the puppy, before following the owner out.

As they walked back down the driveway after saying goodbye, Rachel asked, "Is my puppy a boy or a girl?"

House hadn't even thought to check. Flipping the squirming puppy over, he sighed in relief. No more puppies for them. "A boy," he told her. "What are you going to name him?"

"Umm," she murmured. "Umm."

House waited, an eyebrow raised.

Rachel didn't come up with anything before they were back home and House hesitated outside the door, straining to hear crying before pushing the door open.

Evie's crying instantly filled his ears. Apparently she had dug her heels in. But it wasn't her crying that bothered him this time, for he'd expected it.

House set the puppy down on the floor with Rachel after shutting the door. "You watch the puppy, okay Rachel?" he instructed, not waiting for her answer before heading in the direction of Evie's room. How much watching could a two year old do anyway?

Pushing the door open, he found Cuddy sitting on the floor with the baby in her arms, rocking her but clearly in her own distress as tears streaked down her face. Neither one of them noticed him, Cuddy's eyes screwed shut and Evie's head facing the other way. House stared at them in bewilderment that it had come to this and then got down to the floor before pulling Cuddy and the baby towards him and into his chest.

Cuddy fell back against him in confusion and House wrapped his arms around the both of them as he started to soothe Evie but without removing her from Cuddy's arms. He brought one hand up to stroke the baby's hair.

"Take her, House. Just take her," Cuddy cried in frustration with her inability to soothe her own distraught daughter.

"No, Cuddy. You've got her," he replied softly before redirecting his attention to the baby.

"Evie, you're okay. Calm down. Mommy has you and daddy is right here," he murmured quietly as the baby brought her head up to stare at him, red-faced, tears streaking her own cheeks.

House brushed aside some tears and stroked her cheek as she slowly quieted down, her gaze locked upon him over Cuddy's shoulder, taking in shuddering breaths. "You're okay," he said again, more than aware of the fact that Cuddy was shaking too and just as much in need of his reassurance as Evie.

House brought his other hand back from around Cuddy and placed it on her arm in an attempt at comforting her as much as he could. Maybe he'd screwed up in thinking Cuddy was up to this. Maybe he'd pushed her too hard. House sighed and brought his hand that was on Evie's face to her back, rubbing circles there.

Eventually Evie placed her head back on Cuddy's shoulder and ten minutes after he'd come in, her eyes closed in sleep as her breathing evened out.

House breathed a sigh of relief and took his hand back before briefly squeezing Cuddy's arm with his other hand. Sliding back and away from them, he then carefully moved around to see Cuddy.

"You alright?" he couldn't help asking, brushing her hair out of her face. "She's asleep."

"House," she mumbled, her eyes flashing. "You _shouldn't _have done that! You _shouldn't_ have left me with her!"

House looked down at the floor and nodded. "I'm sorry, Cuddy," he actually apologized before lifting a hand to cup her cheek and brush away several tears. "I won't leave you with her again until you're ready."

Cuddy shook her head, angry with him, his hand dropping immediately. What struck her though was that she was almost as angry at him for apologizing as she was for what he'd done. House never apologized. And the fact that he had, seemed to make it blatantly obvious that _she_ was the _failure _here, unable to deal with a child that was just as much hers as his genetically, to the extent that it invoked House's pity and in so doing, made his apology equivalent to a slap in the face. It wasn't a logical conclusion. She _did _understand that. But it was how she felt in that moment.

"Take her," she managed to demand.

House nodded in assent and slowly got to his feet before bending down to take the baby from her, placing Evie in her crib a minute later. Cuddy was already out of the room before he'd even turned away from the baby. He had a feeling she needed some time to herself to recuperate.

Pulling Evie's door closed behind him, he headed back in the direction of the living room.

Rachel looked up at him from where she was crawling around on the floor, chasing the puppy. "Puppy had an accident," she told him.

House puffed out a breath of air but he figured an accident was the least of his problems right now. "Where?" he asked all the same.

Rachel pointed across the room and House saw the yellow puddle directly underneath his piano. Rubbing his face with a hand, he turned and headed for the kitchen to get some paper towels, returning a moment later with floor-cleaning products for afterwards.

Once he was done, he said, "Rachel, I think we should take the puppy outside for awhile."

He caught the puppy a second later when Rachel got up and came in House's direction, the puppy nipping playfully at her heels. Picking him up, he carried him into the kitchen, set the cleaning product up on the counter, threw the paper towels away, somehow managed to wash his hands, and then directed Rachel back the way they'd come so he could retrieve Evie's monitor from his room and set it out on the porch with them. When he pulled open the door to the deck, he spotted Cuddy sitting in a chair outside, her legs pulled up under her, her eyes red from crying and a Kleenex in her hand. He didn't say anything but just led Rachel past her and down the steps into the backyard before setting the puppy down in the grass.

Rachel chased the puppy around in circles, giggling when he turned the tables on her and scampered after her. House watched her before heading back to the steps, setting the monitor down on the railing before lowering himself to the top step. He tried to think of what he could say to Cuddy but there was really nothing he _could _say. At least, nothing coming easily to his mind. He wasn't exactly the guy one went to for meaningless words of comfort.

Cuddy blew her nose, her attention upon Rachel and the puppy she and House had obviously come back here with. She and Rachel had only been here two hours but she was already exhausted from the unexpected challenge House had lobbed at her. He… he had apologized. And Cuddy had recovered enough to process his actions and determine that the apology had been legitimate and not a slight, but… Cuddy was still upset with him. He should have consulted with her first. He should have asked her if it was alright for him to leave Evie with her and take Rachel. Even if Evie was her daughter too, he _knew _that they hadn't figured out a relationship just yet.

Her eyes shifted to House, where he sat watching Rachel play and her attention lingered upon him, her gaze raking over his haircut, scruffy appearance, a glint of blue she could just make out from the angle of his face, and the curve of his back as he sat slightly forward. It almost served as a balm to her tried heart, cooling her emotions somewhat.

"Rachel, don't let the puppy get too far away from you," House instructed, not wanting to have to chase down a runaway dog. His leg wasn't _that _good.

"Daddy, he's so cute! Mommy, you see him? You see my puppy?" Rachel called.

Cuddy swallowed hard and freed her legs in order to get up to see Rachel better. "I see him, honey," she managed to reply, her voice breaking over the trauma she was still trying to work through. Moving towards House, she hesitantly sank down on the step beside him.

House didn't look at her or even acknowledge her, leaving her to decide whether she needed to talk or to yell at him. He was fine with either, figuring he probably had it coming.

Cuddy turned her head to glance at him but then faced forward to watch Rachel and the puppy. "What's his name?" she finally asked.

"Don't know. Rachel hasn't decided yet," he answered with a shrug.

"You're going to let a two year old decide?" she inquired, biting her lip.

He glanced at her casually but then returned his attention to Rachel in the yard. "How bad can it be?" he replied.

Cuddy managed a small laugh. "I guess you'll find that out when she tells you what she wants to call him," she responded.

Several minutes passed while Cuddy slowly relaxed from what had happened with Evie.

"I think you should consider moving in temporarily," House said out of the blue.

Cuddy gaped at him in bewilderment and he charged onward. "It's been three weeks Cuddy. Evie… Maybe she just needs to have more exposure to you. If you lived here, even short-term, she'd get that exposure. You can have the whole upstairs. Or if you want, the basement. You don't have to decide right now. And it wouldn't be a permanent arrangement. I'm just saying… it might not be the worst thing."

"We'd be living with you, House," Cuddy replied finally, once she was able to manage vocalizing her thoughts.

"That's kind of the idea," he responded sarcastically.

"You…" she began in a soft voice, grappling with what he was thinking of. "You want us to… move in? Really?"

"I'm not saying that. I just don't see a lot of options. You don't _have _to, Cuddy. It's just an idea. If you have a better idea of how to work this out with Evie, say so," he stated flatly. "But I'm getting a little frustrated and I'm out of ideas for how to get the _two _of you to be at ease with one another."

Cuddy stared at him for a moment. He'd been trying to be supportive in this. She knew he had. But she imagined it was exasperating for him.

"I don't have any better ideas," she acknowledged honestly after a minute, her eyes returning to Rachel and the puppy.

"You come over on Tuesdays and Thursdays. But both Rachel and Evie fall asleep by 8:30. That doesn't give you a whole lot of bonding time. Especially when Evie turns clingy the closer to bedtime it is. And Sundays are fine but… maybe they just aren't enough," House muttered tersely.

"But…" she began, her words trailing off as she wasn't even sure how to complete that thought. House was giving her an opportunity to be around him and the baby as an everyday occurrence. She didn't want to throw that opportunity away. It might not ever come her way again. At the same time, this was something she had to think about first.

"How long have you been thinking about this?" Cuddy asked then, not looking at him.

"I don't know," he exhaled heavily. "I've been trying to work out this thing with Evie from the first day. But having you both move in… a couple days I guess. I really don't have any other suggestions to offer. If I did, I'd pursue them. The only thing I could come up with was making you both just _deal _with each other. And that didn't pan out," House grunted in exasperation.

"And how long would we be talking about?" Cuddy inquired, moistening her lips.

"Until Evie got comfortable with you and you with her or until it no longer worked for one of us," House replied.

"Let me think about it," she finally murmured.

House gave a slight nod before getting to his feet to head into the house and do a visual check on Evie before using the bathroom and setting up a place for the dog to be kept temporarily.

* * *

Cuddy sat on the steps, mulling over the unexpected offer. Her "family" would be together. That was a plus. And Rachel would probably be fine with it. Who was she kidding? Rachel had a puppy here now. She'd be ecstatic. She'd also love being here with House and the baby. On the other hand, Cuddy wasn't so sure Rachel would then be okay if the day came when they had to move back out. Also, daycare would become an issue. Stephanie was only with her until the end of May as she'd be heading out of state to get her master's degree and planned to work for some distant relatives during the summer. Cuddy had files at home from the agency to review and select a new nanny from but a location change might cause difficulties. And Rachel wasn't old enough for preschool. Would House even be okay with someone coming to his house to watch Rachel during the day while they worked?

As for Evie… Well, it might help with Evie. Or it might not make any difference. However, Cuddy doubted it would make things worse. And… it would give her more time to get to know her daughter, hopefully even getting to a point of one-on-one time together. It would certainly give Cuddy a better grasp on motherhood, assuming Evie did start to come around.

Then there was House. If he genuinely wanted her here, she'd move in a heartbeat. But he hadn't phrased it to say he wanted them here. He just made it out to be their best option. And while they didn't fight or argue, something she actually… _missed, _they didn't converse easily either. Not beyond the subject of the girls. Cuddy sighed. Erika came to mind then. She hadn't seen the other woman in three weeks. But that didn't mean House wasn't still seeing her. If Cuddy moved in… What would that mean? Because she didn't think she could handle seeing him with another woman. She certainly couldn't take it if another woman spent the night. And for that matter, did she have to worry about House having… prostitutes over? Cuddy groaned, somehow doubtful House would be doing that with Evie so close at hand but all the same… How much could she really take for granted? If she _did _end up deciding to take a chance on this, she had better view the matter from all angles and come in with her eyes opened.

Rachel bent down and scooped the puppy up, carrying him awkwardly by his middle towards her mother, causing Cuddy to cringe. She smiled as Rachel passed her the puppy and then Cuddy admired him as he licked her fingers.

"He's a cute puppy, isn't he, mommy?" Rachel asked, beaming up at her.

Cuddy reached out and stroked her daughter's cheek. "He is," she agreed while scratching the puppy behind his ears with her other hand.

"He gots blue eyes like daddy and baby G," Rachel pointed out, almost poking the puppy in the eye.

"He does right now. His eyes might turn brown though," she said as she studied the puppy better. "What are you going to call him?" she queried next.

"Umm. Umm," she murmured in concentration. "I don't know. What you think his name is?" Rachel asked, bringing her face down to receive a lick on the chin.

"I don't know, honey. I think you get to pick a name yourself," Cuddy replied.

Strange noises caused Cuddy to look up and after looking around for a moment, she realized it was coming from the baby monitor. Evie was waking up. Getting to her feet, she grabbed the monitor, secured the puppy to her chest, and then reached for Rachel's hand to lead her inside.

"House," Cuddy called out. "Evie's awake."

But when she turned the corner she could see that he'd heard her stirring and was already on his way to get her. She walked with Rachel to Evie's room and asked, "What am I supposed to do with no-name here?"

House looked at the puppy in her arms. "I set up a temporary holding pen in the kitchen. You can put him in there," he said, in the middle of changing Evie's diaper. But peeling back the diaper, he groaned. "On second thought, I'll take the dog. You take the diaper."

Cuddy laughed at his repulsed expression. Honestly, she'd never expected to watch Greg House one day change a diaper. Well, maybe a time or two back in med school, she'd had some dreams of what it would be like to start a family with him. But she hadn't imagined this since. Laughing about it felt good. It made her feel normal again.

"I think this is one of the perks of Evie _not _letting me play mommy," she replied with a smile. "And there ought to be one or two of them. That diaper is all yours. Though I think I'll stick around a moment and enjoy watching this," she teased.

House gave her a dirty look but reached for the wipes, pulling out a handful before going to work.

"Mommy," Rachel said, tugging on her leg. "I think puppy had to go potty too."

"What?" she asked in confusion.

House looked at her and the spreading wet spot on her shirt and started laughing. "My dog wasn't going to just take your comment lying down," he quipped as Cuddy saw and felt what Rachel had been trying to warn her about, her jaw dropping as she moaned. "Remember this the next time you start getting smug about not having diaper duty," House goaded.

"House, you have to lend me a shirt," Cuddy declared in irritation, turning to go put the dog in House's makeshift pen.

"You'd have to ask a lot nicer than that," he called mockingly after her.

"Forget it. I've figured out where your laundry room is. I'd rather check the dryer than beg," she muttered to herself, though a sense of relief was flooding her system as she realized she and House were on slightly more even footing than usual in… the events of the last five minutes.

Heading back to him, she did stop in the doorway to ask, "Do you mind if I look in your dryer for a shirt?"

"You can look but my cleaning lady probably finished the wash yesterday and I haven't had to wash anything since," House responded, lifting Evie up to his shoulder.

"Will you just get me something then?" she asked pointedly.

"Say please," he instructed with a smirk.

Cuddy rolled her eyes but dryly said, "Please."

House stepped past her and opened up the door to his bedroom. Cuddy had assumed it was the door leading to his room but she had never seen within. She was definitely interested in getting inside it so could she help it if she gazed around inside from the doorway when opportunity presented itself? The room had its masculine touches but it wasn't overly obvious because of the picture frames placed here and there with what she assumed to be pictures of Evie. She didn't recognize a single piece of furniture from his old apartment however. A lot of the furniture matched what she'd seen upstairs.

"Did you keep _any_ of your furniture from the apartment?" Cuddy asked in surprise. House had never been big on change. The fact that his room was furnished completely different somehow shocked her.

House glanced around the room, his eyes sweeping over his bureau, dresser, bedside table, chair, and unmade bed. Then he looked at her before dropping his eyes, turning to pull open a drawer one-handed, Evie held to his chest with the other. Cuddy noticed the slight change in demeanor and her eyebrows knit together but House evenly replied, "Some of it is upstairs in the library and whatever else I brought with me in down in the basement, besides the coffee table and piano in the living room."

Cuddy was tempted to inquire if she could enter and look at the pictures he had of Evie hanging within and on the dresser but something told her not to ask, respecting his private domain. She took the t-shirt he extended to her, thanked him, and walked back out of the room, slipping into the bathroom to change.

House headed out of his room with Evie, pulling the door closed behind him. Heading for the kitchen, he found Rachel within, poking her fingers through the pen to pet her puppy. He opened the pantry door and brought out a few cookies for her, setting them up on the counter before turning to make Evie's bottle.

But the baby was also distracted by the puppy and made preparing a bottle a little difficult. House set her down on the floor and watched as she crawled over to where Rachel was oohing and cooing over the puppy as Rachel started talking about the puppy to her. Evie sat back on her rump and clapped her hands before sticking fingers in as well for the puppy to lick.

Cuddy came in a minute later and House glanced at her before shaking the bottle up. Cuddy smiled at the girls and rescued the puppy from the pen so that she could sit next to the girls with the puppy in her lap for Evie to see better.

Evie had no hesitations about crawling over to her mother, perching up on her lap somewhat to see the puppy, her hand stretching out to grab at him.

"Gentle, Evie," House warned, giving the baby a look as he poured a sippy cup of milk for Rachel.

Evie pouted at him but Cuddy took her hand and placed it on the puppy, running it down his back. "He's soft, isn't he?" she murmured to Evie when the baby's eyes met hers.

Evie stared at her for a moment but then her eyes refocused on the puppy.

House moved towards the table with the sippy cup and cookies and Rachel's eyes zeroed in on them. "Those cookies mine?" she asked hopefully.

"You have to wash your hands first. And no feeding the puppy cookies. You have to eat them at the table," he informed her.

Rachel nodded solemnly and got up, scrambling over to the sink to wait for him to lift her up and help her wash her hands. House helped her wash them and then gave her a towel to dry them with before setting her down at the table to eat her snack.

House turned towards Evie and Cuddy in time to see her fingers clutching at the puppy, causing him to whimper.

"Come here, kid," House said, reaching for her after Cuddy had disentangled Evie's fingers from the puppy. House sat down with her in a chair to give her the bottle but Evie was too distracted. Sighing, he slowly lowered himself to the floor where Cuddy was so that the baby could still see the puppy while she drank her bottle.

"If we were to move in," Cuddy hesitantly began, "I'd need to know some things."

"Ask what you have to," House replied, glancing only briefly up at her before returning his focus to Evie.

"What do you and Evie do on the days we aren't here?" she inquired with interest.

House thought over a typical week and answered, "Mondays and Fridays we're home. Wednesday nights I have a commitment out of town so we're not until late. Saturdays Wilson often comes over in the mornings and stays through the early afternoon."

"Does… anyone else come over?" Cuddy asked, biting her lip.

"Cameron does every once in a while. Chase does on occasion. But Cameron's set to have her kid any day now and then I don't expect to see her much," House added.

"And… Erika," she finally asked, trying to maintain a poker face.

House glanced at her briefly, surprised that she knew Erika's name. But it was possible Erika had introduced herself that night three weeks ago. "Right now Erika and Trevor come over typically on Monday nights. Or Evie and I go over there," he responded casually.

"Trevor is…"

"Her kid," House filled in.

"When they come over, do they… do they spend the night?" Cuddy asked softly after putting the puppy back in the pen, torn that she was asking him this.

"No," House sputtered, as if that was the craziest question he'd ever heard. "Erika lives right next door. Why would they spend the night?"

Cuddy looked up at him sharply in surprise, the puppy squirming out of her lap. "She lives next door?"

"Yeah," House sarcastically replied. "That's what I said."

"Oh," Cuddy breathed out, not knowing what else to say.

Just then Rachel got down from the table, her last cookie in her hand. She just wanted to sit in her mommy's lap while she finished it. The puppy had other ideas, swiping it from her fingers and running out of the room with it before she could reach Cuddy.

"My cookie!" Rachel yelled, charging out of the room in hot pursuit. "You cookie monster!" they heard her shriek as she raced after her pup.

House sighed but decided not to bother trying to get the cookie back while Cuddy laughed and got up to follow.

Before she could leave however, the puppy came tearing back into the room with the cookie from the back, having raced through the hallway.

Evie giggled, letting the bottle fall from her mouth and House reached for the puppy, managing to snag him before he could get out of reach. He took what remained of the soggy cookie from his mouth, disgusted.

Cuddy smiled at his expression but took the cookie from him to throw it in the trash.

"Mommy, Cookie Monster took my cookie!" Rachel grumbled.

"Sorry, honey. But it's going to be time for dinner soon anyway," she informed her as House reached over the pen to put the pup in the pen.

"Cookie Monster naughty!" Rachel muttered, shaking her finger at the dog.

"Looks like he has a name," Cuddy wryly said to House.

"Yeah," House replied skeptically, an eyebrow raised as he set aside Evie's empty bottle and put the baby upright in front of him who crawled over to poke her fingers back in towards the puppy. "Great. Named after a Sesame Street character."

"I warned you," she replied smugly.

House rolled his eyes. He really didn't care but he couldn't _not _protest. "I'm calling him 'Monster,'" he dryly replied.

Cuddy pursed her lips but her thought were whirring back to their conversation and she suddenly remembered what House had said. Erika lived next door. If she lived next door and… House didn't understand why she'd question if they spent the night, maybe… maybe things weren't that serious between them after all. She thought back over her last encounter with Erika and how she'd been dressed. It explained where she was going and why she didn't mind leaving his house the way she had, but Cuddy didn't see her come over in the first place so that was still a mystery. And maybe the key she'd been asking for… wasn't House's but her spare. After all, Cuddy had her neighbor's spare key in case of emergency or if they got locked out.

Moistening her lips, she reluctantly murmured something she was sure was going to aggravate him. In asking but not asking, she made sure to cushion her words. "I… I couldn't seriously consider moving in with Rachel temporarily unless I knew that you wouldn't have… women over."

House stared at Cuddy as if she'd sprouted horns, pushing himself upright and to his feet. Cuddy was seriously asking him if he was having sex?! That was where this was going? A discussion of his sex life? It… wasn't her concern. "I don't think that's any of your business," he said forcefully.

"It is if you have women over when Rachel's present," Cuddy argued calmly with resolve, drawing strength from somewhere, despite the slight tremor to her hands.

House looked away and huffed out a breath of frustration but knew that _did_ make the question a reasonable one. Turning to put the bottle in the sink, he muttered, "I don't have women here, Cuddy. Not for _that._ And _if _you and Rachel move in, that would be an understanding between you and I. You wouldn't be allowed to have men over here. Not at my house."

Cuddy looked at him in stunned speechlessness. Who was _she _going to invite over?! She wasn't going to have sex with anyone other than _House._ _Should_ that day _EVER _come into being, and honestly, she was really hoping it would. Soon. But she supposed now wasn't the time to tell him that. "I… I can live with that," she managed to reply.

House turned to look at her. "Are you and Rachel moving in then?" he asked bluntly.

Cuddy got to her feet, pursing her lips. "I don't know yet. I mean… if Rachel and I move in, what would I do about daycare?"

"I could probably get her in at Evie's daycare at my work," he replied. "If she's living here I don't imagine I'd have trouble getting her in. And she could go with Evie and I to work on weekdays. Otherwise you could have someone watch her at the house. It's up to you."

"And… and when we moved back out? I don't think Rachel will have too hard a time moving in but moving out… that might be an issue," Cuddy mumbled uneasily.

House shrugged. "We'd cross that bridge when we got to it, Cuddy. If you're saying she'll get attached to being here, that's not so big a deal. She'll be here regardless. I don't think it would be that big an issue. Rachel's always welcome here. I… consider her my kid too."

If Cuddy was the swooning type, hearing House say that would have induced such a reaction. Since she wasn't, Cuddy settled for nodding, though a smile curved her lips and she had to look away to avoid having him easily read in her eyes the way his declaration made her feel. "Alright, I'll let you know on Tuesday," she murmured finally.

"What do you want for dinner?" House asked, changing the topic as he glanced at his watch. "Italian work?"

Cuddy met his eyes again, surprised every time he offered to cook instead of ordering something in. "That would be great, House," she replied.

He turned to open the fridge and get started with dinner while Cuddy focused her attention back on the girls. Rachel was back sitting on the floor beside Evie, both of them playing with some of Evie's toys that Rachel had brought in, Cookie Monster sleeping on a towel in his pen, exhausted from his time outdoors and the constant activity that came with little girls busy loving up on puppies.

Cuddy's eyes flitted from Rachel to Evie to the puppy and then to House. And suddenly, she couldn't imagine NOT moving in. This was her _chance_. It was a chance to explore _all_ of their relationships, possibly become a real… family, and perhaps, set about winning House's heart on a daily basis. Awkwardness would pass. Evie's hesitancy would too. The only thing that wouldn't was the way Cuddy felt about House. And did she really want it any other way? Watching him out of the corner of her eye, recognizing that things were different, that maybe… he was different, it didn't change the fact that she couldn't help feeling out of her mind about him. She'd made more than her share of mistakes in getting to this point. She'd… been an idiot. A blind one. But she loved him. She was certain of that. With every beat of her heart. She'd let him down in the past. That was true. BUT she had no intention of letting him down now. Not where Evie was concerned, which was all he was asking of her and something she couldn't imagine devoting herself to. And not in proving herself to House, which was what she personally wanted for so many reasons she didn't even know where to start. Maybe… maybe in time he'd see that and see what she saw. What they had… what they'd ALWAYS had… It was bigger than the two of them, as proud, obstinate, back and forth, here and there, as they were. It shouldn't be thrown away and denying it had only resulted in heartache for… all of them. No. This might take work. It _would _take work. But they'd get there. Once she convinced House to take a chance. To… take a chance _on her._ _That_ would be at the _top_ of her list of desired goals to achieve, just as soon as she figured out this thing with her daughter.

-----

"_**Maybe I'm wrong, you decide  
Should've been strong, yeah, I lied  
Nobody gets me like you**_

**_Couldn't keep hold of you then  
How could I know what you meant?  
There was nothing to compare to_**

**_There's a mountain between us  
But there's one thing I'm sure of  
That I know how I feel about you_**

**_Can we bring yesterday back around?  
'Cause I know how I feel about you now  
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down  
But I know how I feel about you now_**

**_All that it takes, one more chance  
Don't let our last kiss be our last  
I'm outta my mind just to show you_**

**_I know everything changes  
I don't care where it takes us  
'Cause I know how I feel about you_**

**_Can we bring yesterday back around?  
'Cause I know how I feel about you now  
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down  
But I know how I feel about you now_**

**_Not a day pass me by  
Not a day pass me by  
When I don't think about you_**

**_And there's no moving on  
'Cause I know you're the one  
And I can't be without you_**

**_Can we bring yesterday back around?  
'Cause I know how I feel about you now  
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down  
But I know how I feel about you now_**

**_Can we bring yesterday back around?  
'Cause I know how I feel about you now  
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down  
But I know how I feel about you now  
But I know how I feel about you now  
Yeah, I know how I feel about you now"_**

* * *

Song: "About You Now" (Miranda Cosgrove)


	72. Broken

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Okay, so I am caught up with this story, except for scattered chapters here and there. I can't promise daily updates from here on out. Plus, I'm going out of town. Eh, you've all been pretty spoiled so far anyway. :) )_

* * *

May 2nd, 2011

House arrived home from work and pulled the car into the garage, not all that surprised to hear barking from within the house. He carried Evie inside and then entered the kitchen with her, his eyes falling on the puppy and the newspaper he had shredded everywhere within his pen. Shaking his head, he reached for him to take him outside for awhile before the sun went down, securing him in his arms, pocketing a rawhide, and doing his best to keep the puppy from licking Evie to death, though she didn't appear all that fazed by it, just cringing and wrinkling her nose.

He set the two of them down in the grass and watched as Evie explored the ground surrounding her while Monster nipped at House's pant legs, trying to get him to play. Not about to let the dog near _his _tennis balls, he'd bought him his own and limped back to the porch to grab one, coming back in time to pull clumps of grass from out of Evie's fists. Then he gave the ball to Monster but it was way too big for him. He kept tripping over it in the lawn. Reaching into his pocket, he extracted the rawhide treat and offered that to him, not surprised when he took it and laid down in the grass nearby to chew at it.

"You got a dog?" Trevor asked enthusiastically, heading towards them from his backyard, having seen House outside from the window.

"Yep," House replied, looking at the boy, Evie in his lap. "Gonna help me with him?"

"Sure!" Trevor answered, nodding as he came alongside House and then sat down on the ground next to him, stretching his arm out in the direction of the puppy to try and get him to come.

Cookie Monster got up and tripped over his feet in his haste to get to Trevor but the boy scooped him up, smiling broadly. "What's his name?" he asked.

"Cookie Monster," House answered, somewhat horrified to have to actually tell someone that, even if it was his neighbor kid.

"Trevor!" Erika called then.

"Yeah?" Trevor shouted back.

She took a few steps out of her house and spotted them sitting there in the grass. "Oh, hi House," she greeted, coming towards them then. "Trevor, did you finish your homework?"

"Almost," he replied. "I just have a few more math problems to do. Can't I wait until after dinner to do them?"

She nodded after seeing the puppy. "House, you got a dog?" she asked in surprise, also sinking down to the ground and putting her hands out for the puppy to lick.

"Yeah. A guy around the corner has some for sale," House informed her.

"Can we get one?" Trevor asked hopefully, looking at his mother.

"I think for now you'll have to settle for House having one you can play with," she replied wryly.

"Oh, you big meanie," House taunted.

She gave him a dirty look but then refocused her attention on the puppy. "Did you give it a name yet?" she inquired after a moment.

"I told Cuddy's daughter Rachel she could name him. Big mistake," he responded glibly. "His name is _Cookie Monster_."

"Is _she_ why you got him?" Erika asked with a smile.

House rolled his eyes but shrugged. "So I'm a sucker," he said self-depreciatingly. "Kids should have dogs."

"Don't say that around my kid," she muttered, though she picked the puppy up when he came over to her, giving him a rubdown.

"How are things?" she asked then. "I haven't seen you in a week."

"Fine," he replied, shrugging casually.

"Want to come over for dinner tonight?" Erika offered. "I've got it in the oven and there's plenty."

"What are you making?" House asked skeptically, though both of them knew the likelihood of him turning her down was slim.

"Chicken, roasted potatoes and carrots, and I've got an apple pie for dessert that I made this weekend," she responded, quirking an eyebrow at him. "And before you ask, yes, I do have ice cream."

"I think I can manage to suffer through your cooking for the promise of apple pie and ice cream," he said, somewhat wishy-washy.

Handing Cookie Monster back to Trevor she got to her feet and replied, "Okay. Well then, I'm going to go home and check on dinner and you guys can plan on eating in oh… fifteen minutes, give or take."

"I better make Evie a bottle," he said. "Trevor, do you want to watch him for me or should I take him inside?"

"I'll watch him," he agreed as his mom headed back home.

House nodded and then set Evie down so that he could get to his feet before picking her back up. He went into the house and made her bottle, coming back outside to feed it to her while Trevor played with the puppy. When fifteen minutes had come and gone he asked Trevor to carry Monster inside and put him in the pen as House set Evie's empty bottle in the sink, heading to her room to change her diaper before the three of them went next door, House having prepared some baby food to take with them.

Ten minutes later they were all seated at the table, House alternating between eating and feeding Evie who was sitting in his lap.

"So when do I get to officially meet Lisa Cuddy and Rachel?" Erika asked curiously.

"I would guess soon because they might be moving in temporarily until Evie gets comfortable with her," House replied, focusing on his food so as not to meet Erika's eyes.

Erika's fork paused halfway to her mouth but she'd become pretty deft at being slow to speak where House was concerned, not in an effort to sensibly deny him a reaction when he was intentionally provoking her, because frankly, she wasn't usually successful in holding her tongue under those circumstances, but because she thought she was somewhat perceptive of when it was best to control her reaction in order to motivate him to self-disclose more. After placing the bite of food in her mouth and swallowing it, she asked, "Evie still hasn't come around?"

He looked at her and shook his head. "Yesterday I tried to force her to by leaving her with Cuddy while I went with Rachel to get the dog, but in the end when I came back I just had the two of them crying."

"I don't get it," Erika replied. "Evie doesn't give me any problems."

"You've been around all along though," House responded. "And it probably doesn't help that by this time Cuddy _expects _a negative reaction from her and tenses up in anticipation of it. But even at daycare, the girls who take care of her have noticed that she steers clear lately of subs who come in when someone is sick. I think this is just a phase she's going through."

Erika nodded. "How long would they move in for?"

"I don't know," House answered dryly. "Until Evie adjusts to having her around and feels more at ease. Or until one of us can't take being under the same roof as the other."

Erika laughed, amused. "You have high expectations for this arrangement I see," she quipped.

"I have confidence that it's the only solution I can come up with for Evie's sake AND that eventually, we probably _will _come close to killing each other," he muttered in reply.

"Are you going to tell Wilson?" she asked, an eyebrow raised.

House huffed out a breath and sarcastically inquired, "You want to do the honors?"

"No," she replied quickly. "I'll leave that in your capable hands."

"Great. Thanks," he dryly mumbled.

"How about that pie and ice cream?" Erika cheerfully queried, getting to her feet.

"Bring it on," House stated in the affirmative, pushing his plate away and rifling Trevor's hair before adjusting Evie in his lap.

* * *

May 3rd, 2011

Cuddy stopped at home to pick Rachel up after getting groceries and then drove out to House's place, her mind wavering between her thoughts regarding moving in with House and Evie, and Rachel, who was talking to her from the backseat, excited to see Cookie Monster again. They pulled into the driveway and Cuddy unbuckled Rachel before grabbing the groceries she'd brought along.

House had already opened the door for them by the time she got to it. He raised a quizzical eyebrow at the groceries but stepped aside to let her through, Rachel having raced ahead to see her puppy.

"I thought I'd make dinner tonight, if you are okay with that," Cuddy informed him, her eyes tracing over his features helplessly.

"Kitchen's all yours," he replied as he turned away to shut the door.

Cuddy continued on towards the kitchen, glancing in the empty living room. House saw that and said, "Evie's in the kitchen."

Cuddy threw him back a smile and nodded. When she entered the room, Rachel and Evie were sitting on the floor beside the pen. She set the groceries down on the counter and then bent down to press a kiss to Evie's head, smoothing her hair.

"Hi, honey," she murmured as Evie looked up at her, a finger going up to her mouth to chew on as she contemplated her mother before her eyes shifted to her daddy, keeping him in sight.

House reached over to scoop the puppy up, setting him down on the floor between the girls before sitting down with them, stretching a leg out behind Evie to support her by keeping her upright, not wanting Evie to get knocked over by Monster as he raced back and forth between the two girls, licking their fingers and faces when he could get away with it.

Cuddy headed back to the island to unload groceries but her eyes kept going back to House and the girls as Evie started waving her hands excitedly, giggling whenever the puppy licked at her. There was something magical about that laughter and in some ways it felt cleansing. Evie was alright. She was happy and loved and Cuddy now had an opportunity to love her as well, sharing in her life. She'd missed out on six months but she was here now with House's… blessing and she was investing in her daughter's life. She was about to do so even more.

Cuddy smiled affectionately as Rachel got up, wrapping her arms around House's neck to whisper in his ear. She watched the look of amusement take over his expression before he glanced her way. "Rachel wants a cookie," he said wryly.

"Just one," she told her daughter somberly, since they'd be eating dinner soon. "And you have to eat it where Cookie Monster can't get it."

Rachel nodded as she released House, her expression serious, and he grunted before getting himself up to return the puppy temporarily to his pen before going into the pantry for Rachel's cookie. Once she was contentedly munching on it, House scooped up Evie and came to Cuddy's side. "What's for dinner?" he asked, curiously perusing her supplies while she wiped her hands off on a towel to approach him and stroke Evie's cheek a moment.

Cuddy glanced up at him and for a minute her breath hitched at the realization of how close she was to him, her eyes flickering between his eyes and his lips, the desire to kiss him in this domestic moment strong. But then she shook herself, remembering the question and answered before turning back to what she'd been in the middle of doing, almost thankful when House appeared none the wiser to her inner struggle. She watched out of the corner of her eye as he headed out of the room to give Evie a diaper change and then she tried to focus back on dinner preparations.

* * *

House sat down on the couch with Cuddy later that night, Evie in his lap and a bottle in his hand. Rachel was playing with some toys on the floor at his feet and he watched her a moment before turning his attention to Evie, slipping the bottle in her mouth. He was coming to enjoy their visits, which struck him as a little bizarre, but it was mainly having Rachel here that did it and too, somehow being around Cuddy was easier because Rachel was present and Cuddy's presence in his house relegated to that of being a mother to Rachel and trying to be a mother to Evie. She wasn't here as his boss, his friend, or his lover. And he didn't need or want her to be here in any of those roles. This was fairly uncomplicated and he was content to leave it at that. In fact, he was _thrilled_ to leave it at that. It made the idea of her moving in, less threatening.

As if she was on the same wavelength in her thoughts, at least concerning moving in, she murmured, "I've been doing a lot of thinking about your offer to let Rachel and I move in and if you're sure that it's okay with you, I'd like to take you up on it."

House glanced at her and nodded. "When?" he simply asked.

Cuddy moistened her lips, searched his blue eyes and queried, "Would Saturday work?"

House nodded, his attention returning to Evie, and she continued, "I'd probably hire someone to bring over Rachel's bed and things so that I could get her settled in as easily as possible and make the room she'll be staying in as familiar as I can. You're still okay with us using the rooms upstairs?"

"Yeah," he replied. "What about daycare?"

"I have my nanny until the end of the month. I think I'll just bring Rachel to the house on my way to work for now. That way someone is around for a while. Then… I don't know. Would you ever want to have a nanny here for both girls?" Cuddy asked speculatively.

"I'd be throwing another stranger at Evie. Until she gets through this phase, I don't think that's a good idea. On top of that, she's used to being at the daycare and if something was to happen or she became sick, I'd be right there. Besides, I… like having her close," House concluded.

She felt kind of foolish then, because it made sense that Evie's hesitations towards her were not _completely _about _her_. But she knew there were definitely moments when it was something she took very personally and undoubtedly, something that _was _understandably personal because it was her daughter who was uncomfortable being placed in her arms. And honestly, she couldn't be certain that it _wasn't _her Evie had a problem with.

Cuddy nodded. "Well, maybe Rachel _could _try out daycare. It would probably be a good idea to get her used to being with other children her age and if it didn't work out, I could always hire someone new to stay with her here."

House nodded and leaned forward to set Evie's bottle on the table before putting her upright to be burped. "I'll get you some information and you can see what you think," he responded.

Cuddy reached for the baby, her fingers crawling up her legs like a spider as Evie stared intently at them before looking at Cuddy, her fingers going into her mouth before she started babbling somberly.

House looked at his daughter and started bouncing her slightly on his leg, enough to get her to smile and coo while Cuddy leaned closer towards her, cupping the side of her head with a hand before pressing a kiss to her cheek. When she released Evie, the baby fell into House's chest, rubbing her face shyly into him though she continued watching Cuddy, babbling contentedly. Cuddy turned more towards House, her hand stroking the bottom of Evie's feet until Rachel came over to crawl up into her lap, clearly sleepy.

"I suppose I should get her home," she said softly, pressing a kiss to Rachel's head.

"Still coming over Thursday?" House inquired as he adjusted Evie so that he could get to his feet and walk them out.

"Yes," she replied, nodding before getting up as well, following after him.

"If you want, you can always bring some stuff with you then," he offered, opening the door for her.

"Kiss, daddy," Rachel mumbled sleepily, turning her head out from where it had been resting on Cuddy's shoulder so that she could face him.

House looked at Cuddy somewhat chagrined but then his eyes went down to Rachel and he leaned in to kiss her as requested. Cuddy couldn't resist breathing him in, her heart racing at his proximity, so close and yet not close enough. She felt bereft when he straightened and took a step back and she automatically followed him before catching herself and giving the baby in his arms a kiss goodbye.

"Sweet dreams, Evie," she murmured. "Mommy and Rachel will see you again on Thursday."

Looking up at House, Cuddy smiled and said, "Night House."

"Bye Cuddy," he replied before rifling Rachel's hair and with affection said, "Night kiddo."

Cuddy turned then, taking a step out of the door. She glanced back at them briefly but headed to her car to get Rachel home and to bed. She couldn't help thinking it would be nice to _not_ have to leave.

* * *

May 4th, 2011

Cuddy left her office to head up to Kate's office, arriving there seven minutes later. Linda verified that Kate was ready for their appointment and then ushered Cuddy inside. She took her normal seat across from Kate and smiled at the other woman, somewhat nervous to tell her that she and Rachel would be moving in with House and Evie. It wasn't so much that she feared what the other woman would say about it. It was just that Cuddy knew that this was a big deal. At least in her mind it was. It was… _huge._

"How are you?" Kate asked with a smile, giving Cuddy her full attention as she leaned forward and clasped her hands on her desk.

Cuddy tried to bite back the smile but was unsuccessful. "I'm good," she managed to say. She was better than good, but she wasn't so sure she wanted to say _that._

Kate watched her a moment, her mouth pursing. "From the looks of you, that statement could be expanded upon," she replied, an eyebrow raised as she smiled.

Cuddy glanced down at her lap but then met Kate's gaze before blurting out, "Rachel and I are going to move in with House. It's just temporary," she rushed to explain. "But Evie's still having a hard time getting used to me being around and House thought it was our best option. His house is large enough for all of us, and then some," she amended. "Rachel and I will have rooms upstairs. House and Evie are on the main floor."

Kate stared at her, wide-eyed. When Cuddy finally stopped to breathe, she asked, "This was House's idea?"

Cuddy nodded and Kate tilted her head to study her. "You're practically… giddy about this," she pointed out wryly.

Cuddy looked all around the room, tossing her head, but then she bit her lip, the corner of her mouth curving up into a smile. She sighed and said, "I know this is temporary. I know House is just seeing it as a logical solution to maximize exposure and get Evie settled in. And I know… I know it isn't because he… wants the four of us to be a _family_ or… wants _me_ _specifically_, but… Kate, I _want_ to be with him! And this _is _my chance to be a real mommy to Evie – to be there when she wakes up and when she goes to sleep, to be a real part of her daily life. I… I want this! I do! And I… I am going to concentrate my energy upon building a relationship with Evie and being a mother to both of my daughters, but, is it so wrong that I want to _be_ with House as well?"

Kate couldn't help smiling at Cuddy's exuberance. Sobering somewhat, she replied, "It's not wrong. But I do think that you need to be careful in this. If you go in there with expectations that this is going to lead somewhere for you and House and it doesn't, are you prepared to handle that?"

Cuddy turned serious and then frowned as she studied the carpet. "Can't we just be optimistic about this?" she moodily protested.

Kate laughed and then said, "There's nothing wrong with optimism. But at the same time, I think you need to be realistic and tread carefully. I say that in part because I don't want you to get too far ahead of yourself. Relationships take time and right now you _should _concentrate on Evie. From the sounds of it, that is House's reason for extending you the opportunity to be closer to her geographically. But I also want you to remember that there are still a lot of things between you and House that need to be dealt with when _he's_ ready to deal with them. It's easy to push someone too far too fast. I don't want you to do further damage to your relationship with him and undermine whatever progress you've made in the last month."

Cuddy nodded, sighing heavily. "Okay," she agreed.

"I also think you need to consider how hard it will be to move back out of his house when this time comes to an end," Kate said cautiously. "You're going in there with high hopes and great expectations of growing closer, both to Evie and to House. But I really think you need to prepare yourself for the fact that in House identifying this as temporary, he sees this as giving you and Evie a chance to build a relationship, but within a timeframe, meaning that the day might come when what he's currently extending to you will be revoked because it's no longer necessary in his opinion and… Lisa, it's going to be VERY hard to have to leave that baby once you've become accustomed to being there day in and day out. House too, I imagine."

Cuddy didn't _want _to think like that. She didn't _want _to believe the day would come when House would send her home. But she did understand Kate's point. It made her want to break down but somehow she held herself together and just nodded in acknowledgement of what Kate had told her.

"But I'm happy for you that things are going well between you both and that you'll have an opportunity to take a greater role in Evie's life. That's great," Kate said before redirecting, "Now, why don't you tell me about this last week?"

Cuddy filled her in on what had taken place the last week, especially focusing on Sunday and how hard it had been to be left with an inconsolable infant. Kate walked her through some of the emotions she'd struggled with, her anger at House in leaving her with Evie, and some suggestions for how to relax when things got tense before their time came to an end.

* * *

House took a seat in Nolan's office, Evie sleeping in her carrier beside him. House didn't even give Nolan time to say anything, just starting right in. "Cuddy and her kid are moving in temporarily with me and my kid Saturday." He would have called Rachel his kid but he thought that would be too confusing and detract from the real point of what he was saying.

House said it in such a direct, matter-of-fact way that Nolan just stared at him for a moment. "Okay," he replied calmly, bringing his hands together and tenting them on his desk as he sat straighter in his chair.

With an eyebrow raised, House waited until he got frustrated that Nolan wasn't giving him more to work with. "Okay," he sarcastically echoed, steeling himself to wait this out.

Nolan smiled faintly before his eyebrows rose and then dropped back in place. "How did that come about?" he finally inquired.

House exhaled heavily and ran a hand over his face before saying, "Evie's not coming around. I mean, she's fine with Cuddy being _around _but she's still opposed to being held by her and I'm… _frustrated_. Cuddy… _fell apart_ the one time I forced her to take Evie and endure her crying for a while. And I just don't see any other solutions to this. At least, not ones that won't take forever and frankly, I'm not seeing how it would be beneficial to _not _give anything I can a try."

"Are you frustrated with Evie?" Nolan asked to clarify.

"No," House immediately protested. "It's not _her _fault her mother hasn't been around up until now. And I'm not exactly frustrated with Cuddy about this either. She's trying. I _know_ she's trying. But I'm a doctor. I'm a _diagnostician_ and _no one _does my job better than I do," he stated, not out of pride but because it was reality. "And yet I can't even figure out how to help my kid through this. It's been several weeks of Cuddy coming to the house regularly and I can't solve the puzzle. I _want _my lightbulb to click on but it's not happening."

Nolan nodded. "How long will they be living with you?" he queried next.

"Until Evie adjusts," House replied flatly. "Or until it no longer works."

"How long do you think that will be?" Nolan asked.

"Until Evie adjusts? I don't know. Best case scenario, a couple weeks. Worst case scenario, a couple months," he responded.

"I assume you have room for them," Nolan continued.

"They'll have the upstairs," House replied with a shrug.

"And how do you feel about them coming to stay with you?" he inquired soberly.

House mulled the question over, not that he should have needed to, considering how much he'd already thought about it. "Rachel, Cuddy's kid, is only too welcome. And Cuddy, Cuddy I'm _okay_ with coming. She's already over three times a week. As long as she stays in her role as Evie's mother, I don't see a problem. There haven't been problems so far."

"Do you have some kind of arrangement set up or rules agreed upon?" Nolan asked.

House looked at him as if he was insane. "Do I _look _like someone who follows rules? You think I'm going to follow any she suggests?"

"_You_ might want them," Nolan said pointedly.

"Then I'll make them as I go," House replied with a shrug. "Right now the only thing I've agreed to is that neither one of us will have people over for sex."

Nolan stared at him incredulously but House argued, "It's _logical_. _I _don't want her doing the nasty in _my_ house. And she's got Rachel there so it makes sense she wouldn't want me to. Besides, this is _temporary,_"he reminded him, not that he thought it would make much difference for himself one way or the other.

Nolan looked at him skeptically but let it go as Evie started waking up. House fished a bottle he'd prepared before leaving work out of her diaper bag and then unbuckled her to settle her in his lap before giving her the bottle.

House looked up at him with a wry expression on his face. "Is it time for _the_ question?" he asked dryly, wanting to just get it over with.

Nolan pursed his lips but then asked, "What do you want?"

House breathed out through his nose and replied, "I want to see Cuddy succeed at this. I want her to not let me down. I want her to prove to me she can be a mom to Evie as well as to Rachel and I… I want to know with certainty that I won't regret the day I let her in my front door and into Evie's life."

Nolan considered his words and nodded slowly. "And what about for yourself? What do you want for yourself?" he inquired.

"I'm pretty sure I want that for myself," House muttered.

"Sure," Nolan agreed with a shrug. "But you're a dad now and I think it's logical to say that you also want that for your daughter. Maybe you even want it more for her than you do for yourself. I don't know. But what I want to know now is: what do you want for yourself?"

"That's a stupid, pointless question," House sputtered. "The answer doesn't matter. _You can't always get what you want_." Evie started to squirm in his lap and he realized he was getting agitated when that hadn't been his intention. It was one thing for him to get upset and another to have his daughter present for that. He had too many memories of when his own father had gotten angry and that wasn't something he planned to repeat with his own kid. Setting the bottle aside, he lifted Evie up to his shoulder and burped her, thankful that she'd never been much for spitting up before rubbing circles on her back.

Nolan hadn't replied, just allowing what House had said to hang in the air. Finally he said, "I tell you what, I'll leave that question with you to mull over. If you come up with an answer and want to share it with me sometime, that'll be up to you."

House grunted but looked at the floor before dismissively muttering, "Whatever."

Nolan raised an eyebrow at House's petulance but got up, offering to help House bring everything out to the car. House didn't turn down the offer.

* * *

May 5th, 2011

Cuddy was upstairs unloading some of her stuff from the car after dinner when the doorbell rang and House went to answer it, Evie in his arms.

He smiled when he opened it to find Erika and Trevor standing there.

"I know you have company but can Trevor stay with you for a while?" Erika asked when he opened the door, stepping in to greet the baby, pressing a hurried kiss to her cheek. "I have a ten year old patient whose mother is freaking out, saying it's an emergency and Trevor doesn't want to come with."

"No problem," he replied, stepping aside to let Trevor enter.

"Thanks House," Trevor said enthusiastically.

"Not a problem, kid," House said, shrugging it off. "The more the merrier," he added with a smirk for Erika's benefit.

"Thanks House," she said, kissing his cheek before turning and rushing to her waiting car.

House watched her go, shaking his head, and then closed the door to turn to Trevor. Once the boy had succeeded in taking his shoes off, House asked, "Did you eat?"

Trevor nodded. "Can I play with your dog?" he inquired.

"He's in the kitchen," House told him, leading the way. Rachel was sitting on the floor with the puppy when they entered the room. "Rachel, this is Trevor. Trevor, Rachel," House stated, making the introductions.

Rachel smiled at the older boy and said, "You see my puppy? Him Cookie Monster."

Trevor walked over and patted the puppy on the head.

"We should take him outside for a while," House concluded, realizing he now had three kids and an active puppy under his roof to keep an eye on, even if Cuddy was only upstairs. "Trevor, you carry the dog."

Trevor nodded and Rachel made no argument as he scooped up the puppy from her lap. "Where you live?" she asked.

"Next door," he replied, gesturing in the direction of his house. Rachel looked that way, even though she couldn't see the house because they were still inside.

House's mouth twitched and then he said, "I'll be right back," before heading through the dining room to grab a blanket from the closet in the hall. He returned to the kitchen and continued onward to the door leading to the deck, opening it for Trevor and Rachel to go out first. Following them, he went down the deck steps and spread the blanket out on the grass, setting Evie down there while Trevor and Rachel played with the dog.

* * *

Cuddy finished unpacking the clothes she'd brought with her so that she could return the suitcase to her car. It would have been a lot easier if she hadn't had to bring work clothes along. Her penchant to not wear the same outfit twice in a month made it a little difficult. She supposed she could have just gone through the month of May changing every morning at her house, but it seemed like a lot of trouble. Thankfully, all of Rachel's things would come in the truck she'd rented and she _hoped _to leave her clothes in her drawers, since she'd bring Rachel's dresser with them.

After carrying the empty suitcase back downstairs, she carted it out to her car, placing it in the trunk before going back into the house. Not hearing the sound of House or the girls, she searched for them and finally found them out in the backyard. She was surprised to see House had acquired a third child, though she vaguely recalled the doorbell ringing. When the boy turned her direction, she concluded he must be Trevor, recognizing him from that time at the end of January when House had come in with the two of them to PPTH.

"Trevor, this is Rachel's mom," House told the boy as she came down the steps. "Evie's mom too," he added as an afterthought, catching himself.

Cuddy noticed his "slip" and a pang shot through her chest but she figured she knew she deserved the fact that House would link her to Rachel with more ease than he did Evie. "Hi Trevor," Cuddy greeted the boy who had turned to look at her in surprise. "My name is Lisa."

House shot her a dubious expression, one that Cuddy caught. "Well what am I going to have him call me?" she replied in her own defense. "I'm _certain _he doesn't call you Dr. House."

"I'm _House_. Wilson's _Wilson_. You're _Cuddy_. What do you want him to call you _Lisa_ for?! Nobody calls you _Lisa_," House stated as if telling the boy to call her by her first name was ridiculous and contrary to some rule of etiquette.

"What do you care?" she replied sarcastically, a trace of the old Cuddy coming back into her tone.

Trevor stared at the two adults and then decided he didn't have to participate in this conversation anymore, that they didn't expect him to, and focused his attention back on Monster.

House looked at Cuddy and rolled his eyes. "Well don't go expecting me to call you _Lisa_," he muttered disdainfully.

"Well I'm not _asking_ you to," she replied in irritation as she sat down on the blanket with House and Evie, facing them.

However, even if he'd said her first name with distaste, Cuddy couldn't deny to herself that it caused the hair on the back of her neck to rise. It wasn't that she even would _want _House to call her Lisa. She was too used to hearing him call her Cuddy now. _But_ it brought back memories of the few times he had referred to her as Lisa, way back when. Even in med school it hadn't happened very often. Yet when it had, she'd always made special note of it, enjoying the way it left his lips silky smooth.

"Besides, it's not like you've _never _called me _Lisa_ before," she reminded him, her voice softening as she lay down on the blanket, stretching out towards where the baby sat by him to prop her face up and tickle her feet.

House did not immediately make any comment to this statement. He exhaled through his nose after some time and looked away before muttering, "Yeah, well… that was a lifetime ago. We were different people then."

Cuddy's eyes went to his face, searching his expression, but he didn't look at her. Finally she dropped her eyes to the blanket, picking at a ball of fuzz before returning her attention to the baby, now melancholy over what he'd said. She bit her lip, wanting to tell him it wasn't so long ago and that maybe they weren't so different, but she knew that would potentially risk picking a fight so she just kept silent.

House pushed himself to his feet a moment later and she watched him walk over to Rachel, rifling her hair and saying something to Trevor she couldn't hear before the boy headed into the house, coming back a second later with a leash. Cuddy watched as House clipped it to the puppy's little collar and then passed it to Rachel, allowing her to try and walk the dog around the yard, though Cookie Monster just kept digging his feet in, straining against it, not about to be controlled.

Bringing her attention back to Evie who hadn't cried at House's departure, initially casting glances at him, and who was now working at getting herself in position to crawl off the blanket, Cuddy pulled her keys from her pocket and jangled them before the baby, trying to keep her distracted.

"Want to play with mommy's keys?" she asked softly. Evie sat back upright and reached for them, babbling contentedly as Cuddy placed them in her lap and let her play with them. She brushed the baby's hair back and Evie looked up at her again before darting a glance towards House. However, her attention remained on the keys and Cuddy was able to lay beside her without the baby complaining.

Cuddy reached out and touched Evie's toes before saying the "This Little Piggy" rhyme as she touched each one in turn, Evie staring at her and jangling the keys in her lap, unable to lift them enough to get them in her mouth where she really wanted them.

House came back and joined them not too long after, right around the time when Evie's interest with Cuddy's keys lost its importance. "I'm going to make her a bottle," he informed her. "You okay out here with them?"

Just having House take the time to ask her that made Cuddy only too aware of how fragile he probably thought she was. Or how much distance lay between them. She supposed she wasn't sure. "I'm fine," she reassured him.

House nodded and headed for the house but Evie saw him leaving and started to cry before he'd even made it up the stairs. He paused and turned back but Cuddy motioned him to continue. "I can handle a few minutes of crying," she said, steeling herself to prove she _wasn't_ as fragile as he might think she was.

House gave her a skeptical look but shrugged, accepting the fact that she'd deal with it and do what she could to get Evie through, before continuing indoors.

Evie's crying only increased in volume and Cuddy got up before reaching for Evie, settling her on her chest and heading over towards where the puppy was. "See the puppy, Evie?" Cuddy cajoled. "Isn't he cute?"

Evie acknowledged what she'd said by glancing at the puppy but she continued to cry, her eyes shifting back in the direction daddy had gone, one arm stretched out as her mouth opened fully and her crying volume increased, crocodile tears forming in her eyes.

Cuddy took a deep breath and bounced the baby softly in her arms, "Shh, shh, shh," she started up in a continual murmur. Apparently that wasn't going to do the trick either. Changing tactics once more, she started singing "Hush Little Baby" under her breath, the baby up on her shoulder. She was on the third verse when the baby suddenly quieted. Cuddy was surprised but she wasn't about to stop. Until House started to laugh at her and she realized Evie had probably quieted down because he'd come back and even now was placing the bottle in her greedy little mouth, though he made no move to take Evie.

"_Nice,_" he taunted. "I'd forgotten how wretched a singer you were."

She shot him a dirty look, only making him grin all the more. "Shut up," she muttered.

House chuckled at her expense and demanded, "Quit rocking, would you? It's making it hard for me to keep this bottle in her mouth."

"You could just take her," she replied with a scowl, still irked with him over his commentary, though she did stop all movement.

"Why?" House asked. "I think we're finally getting somewhere."

"Only because you're standing right up against me," she retorted.

The fact that he didn't reply to say she liked it was further testimony to the distance between them. "That and she's got a death grip on my finger and a bottle in her mouth," he replied, suddenly somber. "But at least you're holding her, she's awake, and neither one of you is crying."

"Is that a dig?" she asked, an edge to her voice as she cast him a look over her shoulder.

House stared at her but shook his head. "No," he answered, completely serious. "That was my acknowledging that progress has been made here."

Cuddy nodded, her shoulders relaxing, accepting his explanation.

* * *

House and Trevor were walking Cuddy and Rachel out, Evie already in her crib, when Erika pulled up in her driveway next door. House smiled her way, unable to help himself as this encounter ought to prove interesting after the last time the women had run into each other.

Cuddy noticed his expression and the direction he was looking, glancing that way just as Trevor called out, "Hey mom!" She automatically froze where she was at, only jolting into action when House almost ran into her.

Erika smiled and headed over.

"Cuddy, this is Erika. Erika, Cuddy," he politely introduced, though his lips quirked up. Gesturing to Rachel, he added, "And this is Rachel."

Erika smiled warmly and held out her hand to greet the other woman. "Nice to officially meet you," she said, genuinely meaning it. She couldn't help but be curious about the woman who House still had feelings for. She couldn't be _all _bad. "I can't believe House is actually behaving himself enough to make real introductions," she added, sending him a smile as she shook her head.

"Hey!" he protested. "I introduced you at Christmas to everyone!"

"Okay, I'll give you credit for that," Erika replied with a shrug before looking back at Cuddy.

For a second Cuddy was tempted to ignore her hand completely, jealousy flaring up in her gut as she remembered what she wanted to do with her favorite heels in her closet at home, but House was eyeing her and she quickly stuck her hand out, shaking Erika's hand with a slightly firmer grip than she'd normally shake hands with and certainly beyond what was necessary. Erika didn't react at all however, just shaking her hand and then releasing it to reach out and push a lock of Rachel's hair back, further irritating Cuddy, who was still mulling over the fact that Erika had obviously attended a Christmas event of some kind _with _House.

"She's a beautiful little girl," Erika said, looking at Cuddy before glancing at House. "I can imagine how you'd find her irresistible."

Cuddy nodded in acknowledgement of what Erika had said while House rolled his eyes at how soft she made him seem. Not that he could really deny it or that Cuddy would believe him if he did.

"Where's Evie? Sleeping already?" Erika inquired.

House nodded. "How's the patient?" he asked her, not to leave Cuddy out of the conversation or make her feel awkward but because he was semi-interested and Cuddy's sudden silence confused him.

"Good," she replied wryly. "And the mother has been calmed down too, even if that took me longer than taking care of the problem."

"Erika's an orthodontist," House threw out for Cuddy's benefit.

"And you're Dean of Medicine at Princeton-Plainsboro?" Erika asked, trying to remember if that was the title House had given her for Cuddy's position.

"And Chief Administrator," Cuddy couldn't help adding, fortifying herself and drawing her shoulders up.

Erika nodded. "That must be a very challenging position," she replied. She was tempted to comment that House must have made that even more of a challenge, given his propensity for troublemaking just off her own experiences and what Wilson had shared with her since they'd started dating, but she wisely held her tongue, not knowing what might upset House considering who the woman present was.

"It is," Cuddy agreed, her chin lifting now.

House saw her adjust her posture and concluded that Rachel's weight was affecting her. "I'll get the car door for you," he spoke up, crossing the last few feet to reach the car.

Cuddy moved to follow him and Erika realized she didn't know what the woman preferred to be addressed by. "I'm sorry, but I don't remember if you told me how I should address you when we run into each other, seeing as you'll be staying here for a while."

Before Cuddy could answer, House shot her a droll look before turning to Erika and almost mockingly said, "_Lisa_."

Erika looked at him skeptically but then nodded. "Well, it was nice to meet you, again."

Cuddy was staring at House, trying to contain her sudden urge to throttle him. "It was nice to meet you," she finally managed to reply, _not that she meant it_, before directing her attention to putting Rachel in the car seat.

Erika gave House a small smile and then wrapped her arm around Trevor's shoulders before turning him towards home. "_You _need to get ready for bed," she informed him.

"Night House," Trevor said. "Thanks for letting me hang out with you."

House nodded. "Night Trevor."

"Good night, House," Erika added, biting back a smile. She suddenly thought it was probably a good thing she'd kissed his cheek before she _left_, rather than now. "We'll see you later."

"Good night Erika," he echoed dryly, watching them walk away.

Cuddy backed out of the car and House bent over to wish Rachel a good night, pressing a kiss to her temple. Then he straightened, meeting Cuddy's gaze. "What time are you coming over on Saturday?" he asked.

Cuddy's jaw clenched involuntarily, the old Cuddy wanting to tell him to shove off, the green monster in her gut alive and well, but she suppressed her irritation and finally asked, "When would be a good time for you? I have someone coming to bring Rachel's furniture over so that she'll feel at home and hopefully have an easier time with this, but I have him reserved until 5 p.m. so really, whatever time works best for you is fine."

"Two?" House suggested.

Cuddy nodded, cooling down and able to offer him a smile now as she allowed herself to think of what it would be like to live here with him, pushing Erika completely out of her thoughts. "We'll see you then," she agreed.

"Okay," House replied, turning to head back towards the house.

"Night, House," she called after him.

But House's thoughts were on the fact that he'd left Evie alone in the house for the past twenty minutes and the house phone was ringing faintly in the background. He didn't even hear her.

Cuddy sighed, thinking he would have paid her more attention if she was Erika and hating the other woman for that.

* * *

House got to the phone just in time. "Yeah?" he answered, noting it was Chase calling.

"Hey House," Chase replied, unable to hide the cheer overwhelming him. "Cameron wanted me to let you know that we're at the hospital to have the baby and so starting tomorrow, you're on your own."

"How's she doing?" House asked, able to figure that one out himself a second later as Cameron screamed at Chase to get off the phone and get his butt over to wherever she was.

"Yeah, well," Chase replied, his voice changing into a slightly chagrined tone. "Things have been better but overall, she's good. The doctors are expecting this to be a big baby though. He probably won't come until the morning. I'll call you and give you a status update when he's born."

"Good luck in there," House flippantly declared, _not even_ _wanting to think _about his _own_ experience during Evie's birth, though he was pretty certain the difference between Cameron's version of drama and Cuddy's version would be like comparing "Bambi" to "Saw V," even if Cameron was giving birth to something the size of a baby elephant.

"Thanks," Chase exhaled before hanging up.

House put the phone down on the receiver before heading to check on Evie, adjusting her blankets and watching the rise and fall of her back as she slept. He loved his daughter. He loved her more than life itself. But he was glad with everything in him that he'd never be forced into reliving the hours of her birth.

Shaking his head to dismiss the thoughts that wanted to creep in, he slipped out of her room, pulling the door shut behind him. Then he smirked before pulling out his cell. He'd just bet that no one had called Wilson to tell him Cameron was in labor. It'd be fun to annoy him.

* * *

May 6th, 2011

House got a call bright and early the next morning as he headed to the gym with Evie.

"Hey House, it's Chase. Thought I'd call you and let you know that Robert Elliot Chase was born almost a half hour ago now," he proudly informed him. "Cameron's doing great. Just really tired after a long night. Elliot wore her out. Came out weighing nine pounds, three ounces. She said epidurals are God's gift to women," he added with a chuckle.

"Did the kid come equipped with an inordinate amount of your locks?" House inquired dryly.

"No," Chase admitted. "He's completely bald."

"He's _not _bald!" House heard Cameron deny. "His hair is just too blond to see it in this light."

House chuckled, appreciating the picture of Chase having a bald kid that Cameron stoically defended, though honestly, he would expect nothing less from her.

"Cheer up mate," he quipped in his best imitation of an Australian accent. "We'll paste some of your locks to his head. You've got more than enough to go around."

Chase ignored him. "Are you coming to visit?" Cameron said something in the background and Chase corrected, "Scratch that, you don't have a choice but to visit."

"What room are you guys in?" House asked, knowing she had chosen to have the baby at Princeton General, not wanting to use either PPTH or RE, being that she worked there now and knew too many people at PPTH.

"413," Chase replied. "Cameron says its right down the hall from the room you and Evie were in and she expects you to come as soon as you get done with work. She said to tell you not to worry about a gift, not that she thinks you'd bring one anyway," he muttered sarcastically.

"I take offense at that," House replied dryly.

"Sure you do," Chase retorted.

"I'll be there," House responded, though the idea of visiting Princeton General's Maternity Wing wasn't exactly his idea of how he wanted to spend his evening. Still, babies had kind of grown on him since having his own and he'd harassed Cameron enough during her pregnancy that he actually _did _want to swing by and see the _dingo baby_, as he'd started to refer to him as, though never to Cameron's face.

"Okay. We'll see you then," Chase replied before hanging up.

* * *

House entered Princeton General with Evie shortly after 5 that evening, having taken off early, mainly to beat Wilson to the hospital. He headed up to room 413, signing in as a guest at the desk when he reached the fourth floor before tracking down her door. He rapped his knuckles on the open door before entering, noting that the room was identical to the one Cuddy had given birth in.

Cameron was sitting up on the bed and she smiled. "Hey House," she greeted, the baby asleep in her arms. "Chase just went down to the cafeteria to snatch me something better than what's offered up here."

House studied her, noting the exhaustion written across her features, her makeup-less appearance, and the presence of her glasses, but the glow she had too. "You look like the apocalypse happened last night in this room," he snarked anyway.

She rolled her eyes but smiled. "Then at least I survived it," she replied as he approached, her attention going to the gift bag in his hand. "What's that?" Cameron couldn't resist asking, skeptical that he'd actually bought a present.

"Breast pump," House quipped, smirking. "Let me know if you need help figuring out how it works."

Cameron looked at him but snatched the bag from his hands when he got close enough, seriously doubting House had a breast pump in the bag. House let her take it from him, dropping his eyes to the baby in the crook of her other arm.

"Want to hold him?" she asked, looking up before she fished through the tissue paper that Wilson had actually placed in the bag a couple weeks before after luring House to go shopping with promises of dinner afterwards.

House waited until she'd pulled out the little t-shirt he'd custom-ordered that said, "The Dingo Ate My Baby!" before caustically querying, "Why would I want to do that?", even as he placed Evie on the bed beside her to take Elliot from her.

"Thanks for the shirt," she said with an amused smile before setting it aside.

House just shrugged. "Not going to call him Robert or Robbie or Chase, Jr.?" he taunted as Cameron turned her attention to Evie, carefully lifting her up to press a kiss to her cheek as she started babbling happily.

"No. We're following your example with the middle name thing," she replied. "He's just Elliot."

House stared down at the baby in his arms, studying him. "He's got good coloring. What were his Apgar scores?" he asked seriously.

Cameron smiled as his professional interest peeked through. "Solid eights," she responded before her eyes went back to Evie. "How come she didn't seem this heavy when I held her two days ago?" she asked then.

"Because she wasn't that heavy two days ago," House dryly remarked, despite knowing she was making a comparison to how little Elliot seemed to weigh.

Chase came in right then, setting a sandwich down on the tray beside Cameron's bed. "Hey House," he said as he reached out to lightly rub a hand over his son's bald head. "Handsome fella, isn't he?"

Not waiting for House to respond, he asked Cameron, "Did you tell him?"

House turned his attention to the two of them, looking warily back and forth between them.

Cameron looked at Chase and smiled affectionately at him before her eyes went to her son and then to House. "We wanted to know if you'd be willing to be Elliot's godfather," Cameron informed him, her expression expectant.

"Or _godless-father,_" Chase amended with a smirk.

House couldn't help the scoff that came out. "You aren't _serious_," he sputtered.

"Actually, we are," Chase replied with a shrug. "As unbelievable as it may be, you've done great with your own kid. Why shouldn't we want you to be?"

House's eyes dropped to his daughter who was waving one arm about, the other slobbery and halfway in her mouth, before looking at the baby boy in his arms. Cameron had two brothers. He was frankly, shocked that they would want to ask _him_.

"Will you do it?" Cameron asked, speaking up after adjusting Evie in her lap.

"I'm… _old_," he reminded them, too confused to cover up what was on his mind. Even _if_ he had a baby of his own, he was quite old in comparison to the people Cameron and Chase _could _ask this of.

Chase chuckled in response to House's mystified proclamation. "We're not exactly planning to check out anytime soon," he pointed out. "We're just asking that you would look out for Elliot if something should happen to us and… be a part of his life."

Wilson walked in right then, knocking on the door before greeting everyone. Cameron and Chase kept their eyes on House however, waiting for his response. He finally gave a curt nod, causing Cameron to smile contentedly and Chase to hold out his hand for House to shake, which he did.

"Hey Wilson," Chase said then, turning to the other man.

Wilson looked curiously at House but saw the baby he was holding and his curiosity regarding what the handshake had been about disappeared as his attention zeroed in on Cameron and Chase's infant.

Wilson gave the gift he'd brought to Cameron and then spotted the t-shirt from House on the bed, rolling his eyes. "Believe it or not, the envelope on top of the gift is actually from both House and I," he informed her as she went to open it while Wilson lifted up his niece to give her a kiss, Evie chortling excitedly at him.

Cameron whistled at the amount of cash they'd slipped into the card before thanking them both and opening the gift. She pulled out a beautiful crocheted baby blanket and House snarked, "Wilson slaved over that for months. He's really taken a shine to the "Stitch-N-Bitch" books."

"I _bought _it," Wilson corrected, clearly annoyed with House's constant needling of how much a girl he thought he was.

"Only because your crotchet stitches aren't quite as even as you'd like them," House replied smugly.

"Thank you, Wilson. It's beautiful," Cameron said, admiring it.

"You're welcome," he replied, though he shot House a dirty look and shook his head in irritation. House just smirked while Wilson came closer to admire the baby, Evie in his arms.

"He's a good-looking baby," Wilson said then, causing Cameron to beam happily.

"Thank you," she replied.

Wilson launched into a list of questions about her delivery and the baby but House tuned him out, his thoughts shifting to Cameron and Chase's request. He really did think they were crazy to have picked him. If they had no one else to ask, Wilson would still have been a better choice. He was… capable of being _warm and fuzzy_, more likely to spoil the kid, undeniably in better health, showed no signs of imminent or past mental breakdowns, was younger… The fact that they'd chosen him was… _mindboggling_. House adjusted the baby in his arms, holding him up to study him better. He'd just committed himself to _another _kid. Not that he believed he'd ever have to be responsible for him. Yet all the same, House couldn't deny that in agreeing, he'd automatically shifted gears where this baby was concerned from being a casual part of his life to a committed part of it. That probably should have terrified him. Strangely, it didn't.

* * *

May 7th, 2011

"You got a dog?" Wilson asked disbelievingly for the fifteenth time as he eyed Cookie Monster in his pen where the puppy was barking for attention.

House rolled his eyes and passed Evie to Wilson before he picked the puppy up, heading outside with him in hopes that he'd go the bathroom while outdoors and spare House another cleanup. Wilson followed him out and House glanced his direction once he'd set the puppy down in the yard. "He's Rachel's," House replied dismissively.

Wilson raised an eyebrow at him and queried, "You bought a two year old who comes over a few times a week, a dog? I thought you didn't like dogs. I thought you _detested _Hector."

House's mouth quirked as he looked at his watch. He'd been hoping to have sent Wilson on his way by now since they'd ended up eating out, meeting at a restaurant, but Wilson had followed him home instead. The odds that House's desire to put off for another week the moment of revelation regarding Cuddy's "move" were declining rapidly though, as it was almost two o'clock. Instead of telling Wilson what was going on, House shrugged and said, "I don't _hate _dogs. I just haven't chosen to commit myself to taking care of one before this. Besides, a dog is a good security booster. You of _all_ people, who went off on me about the _importance_ of a security system when Evie was born, should see the _value _in my getting a dog."

Wilson made no further argument, not having a problem with House getting a dog at all but just in disbelief over that action.

A horn went off out front and Wilson looked at House. "Is that… meant for you?" he inquired suspiciously after seeing House's face.

"Can you watch Monster for me?" House asked.

"Who is it? _What _is it?" he added, his tone wary.

House turned to go, leaving Wilson in charge of the dog and Evie. Just as he got to the deck, a safe distance away, he called back, "Cuddy and Rachel are moving in temporarily," before hastily limping to the door, opening it, and dodging within, leaving Wilson sputtering in the middle of the backyard.

House knew he was going to at minimum get a lecture, but he'd bought himself a few minutes, knowing Wilson wouldn't be able to come after him that quickly with Evie and a puppy to watch. He opened up the front door and let Cuddy in, opting _not_ to warn her about the very real possibility of an outburst from Wilson, since he'd deal with that.

"Hey," he greeted Cuddy as he picked Rachel up.

"Hi," she replied. "The two movers I hired are just about to start unloading Rachel's furniture. Can you watch Rachel while I help them by bringing in the drawers from her dresser?"

"Wilson's out back with Evie and the dog. I'll send Rachel out to join them and he can watch her," House replied, not missing the anxious expression that crossed Cuddy's face at the mention of Wilson's name. For a second House allowed himself to wonder what Wilson had said to Cuddy in order to generate that kind of a response, though he supposed Cuddy could react like that without Wilson saying _anything_. However, in thinking about it, House would not be in the least surprised if Wilson _had _said something to Cuddy that House was unaware of. He didn't choose to dwell on it, turning to take Rachel out back, leaving Cuddy to direct the movers with where she wanted Rachel's things.

"Daddy, can I have some cookies?" Rachel asked, her arms around his neck.

House doubled back to go into the kitchen, grabbing her a couple cookies from the pantry and placing them in her hand. He looked out the window to find Wilson pacing with Evie, one hand running through his hair in frustration. House rolled his eyes, sighing heavily. He definitely _should _have told Cuddy to come later in the day.

Opening the door to outside, House set Rachel down and she shoved a cookie in her mouth before placing the other in her pocket, causing House to purse his lips at how Cuddy would probably react to that if she found it in there later on.

Wilson spotted him as Rachel ran down the stairs to go to her puppy and stared hard at him. House quickly turned and reentered the house, not bothering to ask Wilson to keep an eye on Rachel as well, knowing he would.

House really had no intention of helping with moving stuff, as Cuddy had it under control and the two men were capable of carrying out all her instructions. Furthermore, _besides _the furniture for Rachel's temporary room, he _hardly _imagined Cuddy had brought all _that_ much stuff. House was wrong though.

* * *

House prepared Evie's bottle some time later, having caught sight of her out the window and recognizing that she was getting fussy. It looked like he'd pushed off the "conversation" with Wilson as long as he could. He hesitated before going outside but then opened the door and stepped out, closing it behind him before taking Evie from Wilson's arms when he held her out to him, his lips firmly pressed together.

House got her situated and turned his attention to Rachel, who was sitting with the puppy, throwing a stick for him, which Cookie Monster surprisingly brought back to her each time.

Wilson had taken back up on his mad pacing, a hand on his side.

"You're going to have to pay for a strip of sod if you keep that up," House sarcastically remarked.

Wilson whirled around, shaking a finger at him, causing House to crinkle his forehead scornfully.

"_What_ are you _thinking?!" _Wilson finally managed to bite out.

House imagined this lecture could have gone differently if he'd worked to approach Wilson from the right angle. But where was the fun in that?

House didn't even get a chance to reply as Wilson charged onward. "Are you _crazy?!_ Do you _want _to throw away your sanity?!"

House rolled his eyes and dryly replied, "I said it's temporary. And this has _nothing _to do with _me. _This is about Evie and what's best for her. She's not coming around, Wilson. So don't give me a lot of crap about this." Trying to think about what would help his case, House added, "Nolan knows about this and _he _didn't give me a hard time."

"You told Nolan?" Wilson asked skeptically.

House gave a small nod.

"Well," Wilson began in frustration. "He's just a _shrink_. I'm your _best friend_. My opinion outranks his!"

House chuckled wryly but didn't immediately say anything, giving Wilson free rein to say whatever he needed to and get it out of his system. If he really thought about it, Wilson had _earned _every right to an opinion in House's life. His best friend had put up with a _lot _of crap from him over the years. He'd also been present to witness a lot of crap, trying to pick up the pieces afterwards.

"She… she _hurt _you! Time after time. I _watched_ her! And now… _now _you are telling me she's _moving in?! That has to be the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard! _I don't know _why _Nolan wouldn't have a _problem _with that! You _obviously _haven't been telling him the full story of what happened between you two!" Wilson continued, somehow managing to keep his volume down enough that neither Evie nor Rachel appeared in the least bit fazed by his frustration.

House couldn't say that Nolan knew _everything_. Wilson didn't even know _everything_. Finally choosing to speak up, House calmly replied, "_You_ said that as long as Cuddy's involvement was about Evie and what was best for her, you'd respect my decisions. I am _telling _you this has _nothing _to do with me. I don't want to be with Cuddy. _Nothing_ has _changed._ I don't even _talk _about _anything _with her unless it is somehow connected to Evie… or Rachel," he amended.

Wilson huffed out a breath in exasperation. "But _this _isn't just Cuddy being involved in your life _occasionally._ It isn't even _three _days a week, which frankly, seems excessive to me anyway. _This _is Cuddy being involved _everyday _and in _your _life, _everyday. _Do you see the _exponential growth_ for Cuddy to hurt you here?!"

House sighed and adjusted his hold on Evie and the bottle so that he could free a hand momentarily to scratch his head. Then he argued, "You said, and I quote, '_The minute I see that what Cuddy does or says means anything to you, or that she's getting to you, I'll be the first one in your face about it.'_ Wilson, I am perfectly _fine_ with that. But _this _is _not_ an example of what Cuddy does or says meaning _anything_ to me. It's not an example of her _getting_ to me either. _This _is about my kid and the fact that she is having a hard time right now adjusting to suddenly having a mother in her life and that I am _temporarily _willing to have Cuddy under my roof if it means _Evie _will benefit from that."

"How long is _temporarily_?" Wilson asked sharply, a hand still resting on his waist.

"That depends on Evie," House said flatly.

"And if Cuddy starts getting to you or… _acts unacceptably_?" Wilson pressed.

House snorted but gave him a look before shrugging and answering, "Then she moves back home."

Wilson looked at Evie and then back at House before his tone changed into one that was more reasonable. "And Cuddy's been fine so far? She hasn't done or said anything to get under your skin?"

"_First, _you _do _recall that it doesn't take _much_ to get under my skin, right?" House demanded drolly.

"You _know _what I mean," Wilson replied dismissively.

"Nothing that stands out enough to spring to mind," House responded finally.

"And she's not hitting on you or… trying to get in your pants?" Wilson added, looking away in discomfort at the question he himself was asking.

House choked, unprepared for that inquiry. "Wilson," he managed to say after he'd coughed a full minute, disrupting Evie's concentration on her bottle. "_No!_ And _seriously_, how can you even _ask _that?! How does that enter the_ realm of possibility_ in your mind?!"

Wilson held up a hand and muttered, "It's _obviously _been an issue in the past! During her pregnancy…"

House interrupted, not wanting him to continue. "I _guarantee _you I _AM NOT_ and _WILL NOT _be having… any kind of… _ANYTHING_ with _Cuddy_," he stammered, trying to be mindful of Rachel's presence nearby. "And _sheesh!_ Like I _want _to have this discussion with you! You're starting to treat me like a fifteen year old girl!"

Wilson held up both hands and said, "Fine," before reaching to take Evie from him, her bottle now empty.

House surrendered her and turned away, rolling his eyes but thankful to have _that _over with.

* * *

Cuddy watched the movers cart item after item upstairs, placing them wherever she requested. She was genuinely relieved when everything was inside and she could send them on their way to turn her attention to setting up Rachel's room. It was weird to think they'd be living here. This was very much House's home. She… hadn't even seen the inside of his garage yet. Nor did she know where House kept anything. That wasn't to say she wasn't glad to be here. It was just that she was suddenly faced with the reality of just how awkward this would be. And on top of that, Wilson was present.

Cuddy headed downstairs, figuring she'd check on Rachel briefly. But as she came to the door leading to the porch, her eyes flickered to Wilson, who was _clearly _agitated and Cuddy didn't have a doubt in her mind that it stemmed from her presence in House's home and the fact that House had probably only now gotten around to cluing Wilson in to their impending cohabitation, temporary though it might be. Needless to say, she remained where she was at.

She couldn't help but watch him as he paced and got after House, unable to hear his words but not questioning the fact that she wouldn't really want to. She was genuinely surprised that she _couldn't _hear what he was saying, given the fact that generally speaking, when Wilson got good and mad at House, his volume increased in equal proportion to his frustration. Cuddy turned her attention to House then, who appeared much calmer than Wilson and was reacting as if he fully expected this reaction and had no qualms with it. That was almost disturbing enough but it paled in comparison when her brain registered the reality of the fact that Wilson had _always _been House's voice of reason, _regardless _of whether or not House listened to him, and _undoubtedly _what Wilson was trying to reason with him about was his decision to invite Cuddy into his home and the threat he felt she presented to House's… wellbeing, she supposed.

Cuddy turned away, deciding she didn't want to witness any more and she certainly didn't want to be spotted standing there, observing them. Heading for the staircase, she made her way upstairs, determined to just focus her energies upon doing what she could to deal with what was within her control. She just hoped this didn't mean she'd have another confrontation in her office on Monday morning. She'd never really had a problem with standing up to Wilson before. At least, not until it was _House _the battle lines were drawn over.

She wasn't sure what was more frustrating: the fact that she wanted to be with House and yet had a thousand obstacles standing in her way, or the fact that it was her own fault each one of them was there. Maybe that last part wasn't so much a frustration as the horrendous truth of her situation. Every time she got past one of her hang-ups and felt like there was hope for her to _be with House_, something crept up to remind her of how dismal the odds were or how culpable she was for the sorry state of their relationship. Erika was one example, because how could Cuddy compete with a woman who had never wronged House? And Wilson… Wilson had made it more than abundantly clear that she had no business being with House, had hurt him countless times in the last couple years, and was not to be trusted where his best friend was concerned. There was no denying that she _had _caused House to_ suffer_ during "recent" events. Cuddy desperately _wanted _to make up for that. But she couldn't. It wasn't even _possible_. She _wanted _to be the balm his spirit needed and soothe the pain she'd inflicted upon him but House held her at a distance and had made it quite apparent on that day at the picnic tables that he was not interested anymore – that loving her gave him no pleasure – that he was done and couldn't offer her anything.

She _wished_ there was an _easy _way to prove to him that the worst was over and the future would only be brighter, but there was no convincing him of that at this point. She didn't have a crystal ball giving her insight into what tomorrow held. What she'd done – how she'd hurt him… she wasn't sure there was a way for him to forgive her for all of it but even if there were … as she'd told him that day in early April, she _didn't expect_ he'd _ever _forgive her completely, if at all.

And yet life without him… How could she ever accept that? Logically, she knew she didn't need a man in her life. She could even accept the fact that life could be simpler without being involved with anyone at all. But everything within her cried out to be with House. Without him… life was lonely and… she wasn't the person she was _with _him in her life and… in her heart. She was… less than the person she wanted to be… broken… not quite whole… an important piece of her puzzle missing, leaving her incomplete. And she didn't want that to be the state of her life forevermore. No, she _had_ to believe that the same was true for House. That House needed her in his life and that she completed something in him, just as he did something in her. She _chose _to believe that.

-----

"_**I wanted you to know that I love the way you laugh  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain**_

_**Because I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away  
You've gone away**_

_**You don't feel me anymore**_

_**  
The worst is over now and we can breathe again  
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away  
There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight  
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain**_

_**'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away**_

_**'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
And I don't feel like I am strong enough  
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away**_

_**'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
And I don't feel right when you're gone away**_

_**You've gone away, you don't feel me anymore"**_

* * *

Song: "Broken" (Seether/Amy Lee)


	73. Have You Seen My Love?

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Okay, this took me ALL day and part of last night so you better be grateful! :) And Mashikk, I'm sorry but are you smoking crack?! You think this would be better classified as a Hameron story? Are you really reading this? Hmm....... :) Congratulations guys! After today's chapter, you've read over 500,000 words just in this story alone! Awesome!)_

* * *

By the time Cuddy came downstairs, Wilson had left and House had Evie down for a nap, the dog also asleep in his pen, while Rachel lay sprawled out across House's lap and the couch as he read to her. Cuddy entered the room and he glanced at her over his reading glasses before refocusing his attention on "Llama, Llama, Mad At Mama," one of Rachel's current favorite books. Could Cuddy really help it if her eyes became all misty and her throat clogged up with emotion at the picture they presented? She didn't think so.

Cuddy slipped back out of the room to go check on Evie, making sure she was fine before returning to sit on the couch beside them. House finished the book and then looked at her before drolly informing her, "This is my fifth time reading this in ten minutes."

Cuddy laughed, her eyes sparkling.

"Again, daddy," Rachel instructed.

"Nope, it's your mommy's turn," House disagreed, passing Cuddy the book before disentangling himself from Rachel, placing her in Cuddy's lap to run to the bathroom before tracking down _another _spare key to the house, this one for Cuddy to use. Returning to the living room, he extended it to her and she paused mid-book to accept it, silently watching him walk out of the room again afterwards until Rachel prompted her to continue reading the story.

* * *

Cuddy waited until after dinner to head upstairs and call her mother, Rachel playing with her toys in her new bedroom. Her mother answered on the third ring.

"Hello dear," Evelyn greeted. "How are you?"

"I'm good mom," Cuddy replied, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "How are you and dad?"

"We're doing great. Your dad is out golfing with some of the guys and I'm online browsing through houses that are currently on the market within twenty miles of your house," Evelyn answered cheerfully. "How are things going with Rachel? And are things getting any easier with Georgia?"

"Well," Cuddy began before biting her lip, "That's kind of why I'm calling."

Evelyn instantly straightened in her chair, forgetting all about the houses on the computer screen before her. "What's going on?" she inquired, curious now.

Cuddy took a big breath before launching into the latest news. "Rachel and I moved in with House and Evie. It's only temporary," she rushed to add. "But House thought it was our best option until Evie does make the adjustment and gets used to me being involved."

There was a long moment of silence as Evelyn was too surprised to speak.

"Mom? You still there?" Cuddy asked finally.

"I am," she reassured. "This was _Greg's _idea? Well, that's great! Though I'm not going to tell your father. You know how he can be. You can tell him if you want."

"I think I'll hold off on that," Cuddy quickly replied.

Evelyn laughed softly before asking, "So then, are things going well between you and Greg? I mean, I'm assuming so if he invited you to move in."

"Things are okay," she replied, her mind drifting back to Wilson's apparent stance on what was taking place. "This move… well, I'm not trying to imply that House is motivated by anything other than the fact that Evie still hasn't come around. I… don't think House and I have made much progress. We don't really… talk all that much. I mean, when we're together, everything centers on the girls. Which is fine," she added. "It's great. But… House and I are a long ways from… where I'd like to see us. Though… I doubt he's changed his mind about where he stands on having a relationship with me," Cuddy finished, her words tempered with regret.

"Have you talked to him?" Evelyn inquired.

"Not yet. I will but… right now I really need to just focus on Evie. Maybe once Evie and I have figured _our _relationship out, I'll be able to share with House all that I'm feeling and thinking about… us," Cuddy explained.

"I suppose that makes sense," Evelyn agreed. "Especially if that is the reason why you've moved in with him. I imagine it's best if you do focus on one thing before attempting to tackle another. Though I will say, I hope you don't wait too long to tell him how you feel about him."

"I'll tell him," Cuddy replied. "Hopefully when the time is right."

"What does Rachel think of the move?" Evelyn asked then.

Cuddy smiled. "House bought her a puppy so I think that will make the move easier. And until the end of the month, she'll still be at our house during the day with her nanny while I work. But the real test will probably be bedtime tonight. I'll know better once tomorrow morning rolls around."

"And Georgia? How is she? Greg sent me pictures the other day but I haven't had a chance to call him yet this week," she said.

"She's doing great," Cuddy answered. "Crawling up a storm and also enjoying the presence of a puppy in the house."

Just then Rachel ran into the room and Cuddy reached down to lift her up on the bed. "Wait a minute, mom," she added before asking Rachel, "Want to talk to grandma?"

Rachel nodded adamantly and Cuddy held the phone up to her ear.

"Hi grandma!" Rachel said. "Me gots a puppy!"

"Hi darling!" Evelyn responded, laughing. "You have a puppy?! Did daddy buy one for you? What's your puppy's name?"

"Him Cookie Monster," Rachel replied soberly. "He take my cookies if I don't be careful."

"Well, that is serious," Evelyn responded, her voice echoing Rachel's tone in what she'd just said. "But do you like having a puppy to play with? Do you love… Cookie Monster?"

Rachel nodded enthusiastically and declared, "Cookie Monster very cute! But very naughty! He not like to walk on a leash. And he steals cookies," she added, stressing the greatest tragedy. "Daddy call him Monster but he only a monster for cookies."

Evelyn laughed again, always enjoying every chance she got to talk to her granddaughter on the phone.

"Bye grandma!" Rachel declared, not waiting for Cuddy to help her as she turned over onto her belly and slid off of the bed, bouncing on her feet when she landed before running off.

"Bye sweetie," Evelyn responded, fairly certain that Rachel was already long gone.

"When are you and dad thinking of moving this way?" Cuddy asked when she came back on the phone.

"We're hoping for the beginning of August, if we can find a place that fast and sell ours," Evelyn replied. "We've got a real estate agent meeting with us this Thursday regarding the sale of our house."

"What did Julia say when you told her you were moving?" Cuddy couldn't resist asking.

"Oh, she might have fussed a little," Evelyn said nonchalantly, downplaying it. "But in the end I think she's okay with it. I may have played it up a bit, suggesting that this way, as we got older she wouldn't have to be 'inconvenienced' as much, since you'd be around to help us out…"

"_Mom_, you and dad are a _long _ways from needing either one of us to help you with anything," Cuddy said pointedly. "You're both still young and in really good shape."

"Well _I_ know that," Evelyn replied cheerfully. "But it's not going to hurt anything if I make it _seem_ like we might need someone keeping an eye on us so that our move is easier on her. I'm not saying Julia wouldn't step up to help out if the need should present itself, but… she _is _so busy with work and that husband of hers wanting to run for State Representative right now that it's one less thing on her mind. Not that you aren't equally busy honey."

"I understood what you meant mom," Cuddy interrupted to say. "Don't worry."

"Alright. Well, I should probably let you go, dear. Your father should be home soon and he promised to take me out for a late supper," Evelyn explained.

"Okay mom. I'm glad I caught you at home though," Cuddy acknowledged. "I'll try to give you a call back later this week."

"Do that dear," Evelyn encouraged. "I love you. Give the girls kisses for me and your dad. And make sure to tell Greg I said hi."

"Okay. I love you too, mom. I'll talk to you later," Cuddy responded.

"Bye honey," Evelyn replied, both of them then hanging up.

Cuddy set her phone down on the bureau after pushing herself to her feet, checking on Rachel a moment later.

"Let's go downstairs, honey," Cuddy said, taking Rachel's hand when she got to her feet.

Cuddy opened the child safety gate she'd brought with her and placed at the top of the stairs, walking down the steps with Rachel at her side, who was using her other hand to touch each of the wooden spindles as they descended. Rachel jumped the bottom step, her feet making a loud noise as they hit the wood floor, causing Rachel to smile and Cuddy to laugh while shaking her head. They found House in the living room with Evie, who was giggling intermittently as he blew raspberries on her belly.

Rachel pulled her hand out of her mother's and ran over to him, lifting up her shirt. "Do me, daddy!" she commanded, already giggling in anticipation.

House wrapped his arms around her to pull her closer and hold her in place before he blew on her belly, causing her to shriek and squirm. Evie rolled over and then got on her hands and knees, making her getaway.

"Where do you think you're going?" House growled playfully, releasing Rachel and grabbing Evie, causing her to smile and giggle before he rubbed his nose at her neck, Evie cringing in protest while Rachel jumped up and down beside him demanding, "Me! Me! Me!"

Cuddy watched from the doorway as House went back and forth between the two girls, tickling and torturing them, though they clearly both enjoyed every minute of it. Lucas had been good with Rachel. He'd played with her, read stories to her, and taken care of her on occasion. But Cuddy couldn't remember him ever getting Rachel to giggle like House was succeeding in causing both girls to. And watching Lucas with Rachel had always felt nice and led Cuddy to be grateful for the interest he took in her daughter. Watching House though… it just felt right… and somehow… she knew there was a difference between Lucas's interest in Rachel and House's… love for her. Lucas had intended to make Rachel his daughter when he eventually adopted her, once they were married. House… already _had_ made Rachel his, even if it wasn't a legal status having taken place in a courtroom. And that realization made her heart swell with emotion until she thought she'd burst, forcing her to slip out of the room to collect herself in the kitchen while getting a glass of water.

Cuddy came back to find House lying on his back on the floor facing away from her, his head propped up on a pillow from the couch, Rachel trying to tickle him while Evie perched halfway on the floor and halfway on his chest. House declared defeat, surrendering a moment later. He pulled Rachel across his chest and then rolled her so that she landed with her head resting on his bicep, her right side on the floor and left arm stretched across his chest. House had his other hand on Evie's rump to keep her from falling off him as she thumped a hand down against his belly repeatedly, babbling excitedly a continuous stream of "da-da."

"You've exhausted me, Rachel," House groaned, his eyes closed as he laid there.

Rachel giggled at him, sitting up then before crawling into his armpit to bring her face down to his. She squatted on her knees, placed a hand on his arm and used the other to cup his jaw, pressed her nose against his, her eyes on his closed ones, and declared, "Daddy, not time for you to sleep! Wake up!"

House groaned but didn't open his eyes.

"Wake up!" she repeated, her voice louder and more stern this time.

He pretended to snore.

"Wake up!" she shouted.

House immediately jerked as if in response, causing Rachel to giggle, which led to Evie giggling as well, once she'd recovered from her sister's shout.

"But daddy's tiiiiired," House whined, pouting as he looked back and forth between the two girls.

Rachel shook her head. "Not time for bed," she informed him.

House grunted and then moved his arm from around her so that he could bring himself to an upright position, being careful to guide Evie into sitting back on her butt. "I've got to make your baby sister a bottle," he said to Rachel. "And _you_ have to take your dog out."

"Daddy, me can't take Cookie Monster outside," Rachel replied in negation.

"You can't?" House asked, feigning like this was news to him. "Why not?"

"Can't open the door by myself," she answered.

"Okay," House accepted, after considering her response. "Then I'll make your sister a bottle and we'll _all_ take Monster outside."

"Or I can help Rachel take Cookie Monster outside," Cuddy volunteered, making House aware of her presence behind him.

House got to his feet and picked Evie up. "Sounds like a plan," he agreed, turning to head for the kitchen, Rachel taking Cuddy's extended hand before they followed after him.

Cuddy reached into the pen and scooped out the half-asleep puppy before walking with Rachel to the door leading to the deck while House pulled formula out of the cabinet and prepared Evie's bottle, the baby stretched out and lying on his forearm, one hand in her mouth as she babbled around it contentedly.

House had just placed the bottle in Evie's mouth when Cuddy and Rachel returned with the puppy.

"Were you able to finish setting up her room?" he asked Cuddy then, inclining his head towards Rachel.

She nodded, placing the puppy back in the pen before approaching House to stroke Evie's hair back from her face.

"You think she'll be okay with staying here for awhile?" House inquired next, as Rachel came to Cuddy, wrapping her arms around her mommy's leg.

"Mommy, hold me," Rachel instructed, causing Cuddy to bend down and lift her up, Rachel settling her head against Cuddy's shoulder a moment later, starting to get tired from a busy day.

"I think she'll do fine," Cuddy replied. "But we'll see tonight."

House nodded in agreement, his eyes shifting from Rachel to Evie in his arms. "Evie's almost out," he said then, watching her eyelashes flutter. "I'm going to go change her diaper and get her in pajamas."

"Okay. I should go get Rachel in her pajamas too and have her brush her teeth. Then we might come back downstairs and read books in the living room."

House nodded again and waited until she turned to follow after her, going their separate ways at the bottom of the stairs. He got Evie ready for bed and then sat in her rocking chair with her to finish her bottle. He set the bottle aside once it was empty and placed Evie on his shoulder, rubbing her back and getting her to burp, despite being asleep.

House continued rocking her for a while, his thoughts drifting to the fact that so far this didn't feel that much more awkward than any other day when Rachel and Cuddy were over. He imagined though that the awkwardness would grow once both girls were sleeping. That made him thankful for his decision to place the other flat-screen TV in his bedroom. Normally he'd chill in the living room once Evie was asleep for the night but the TV in his bedroom was about to get a lot more use than it had up until now.

Sometime later, House eased himself out of the rocking chair, which presented more of a challenge as Evie grew, due in large part to his bad leg and the type of chair it was. Placing Evie in her crib, he clicked on her monitor before tucking the blanket over her and then turned on her nightlight, hitting the light switch on his way out.

Cuddy was reading to Rachel when House stopped in the entryway to the living room. "She's out," he informed her, the corner of his mouth rising slightly into a half-smile at the sight of Rachel in her ducky pajamas.

Cuddy set the book aside with a smile and brushed her hair out of her face before adjusting Rachel so that she could get up and carry her up to bed. "Did you want to see her room?" she invited.

"I'll see it later," he replied with a shrug.

Cuddy nodded as she came alongside him and House reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind Rachel's ear before looking at Cuddy and casually saying, "Feel free to watch TV if you want. And if you or Rachel need something, let me know."

Cuddy smiled, biting her lip. "Thanks," she replied.

"I'll see you both in the morning," House said before pushing off the wall and walking back towards his bedroom, going within and closing the door behind him, planning to come back out before he went to sleep to turn off the lights in the house.

She watched him go and then made her way upstairs to tuck Rachel in her bed for the night. Once she'd kissed her cheek and covered her with the blankets, she turned off the light, leaving the door open just in case before securing the gate at the top of the steps. She was tempted to go back downstairs and check on Evie but she decided not to since undoubtedly House had the baby covered, heading into her room and determining to finish putting as much of her own things away as possible before calling it a night, leaving the door to the hallway ajar for Rachel's sake.

* * *

May 9th, 2011

"You're up early," Cuddy said in disbelief when she came downstairs at 7 a.m. on Monday morning ready for work to find House awake and drinking coffee.

His eyes narrowed and he raised an eyebrow at her before skeptically asking, "You what? Thought I had my kid on some kind of schedule allowing me to sleep in until 10 or 11 on weekdays?"

Cuddy's eyes widened and she moistened her lips before quickly replying, "No. Of course not. You and Evie were both up yesterday when Rachel and I came down at 8:30. I'm just… surprised that you're already up by 7, that's all."

House pursed his lips but his expression relaxed and he took another sip of coffee before casually saying, "Evie and I leave the house by 7:30 on weekdays, though she'll sleep right through her diaper change and me dressing her if I'm careful. I have to be at work by 9 but most weekdays I take Evie with me to the gym first. Then I drop her off at the daycare and shower quick at the hospital before heading to my office. If you decide to have Rachel at the daycare, I'd drop the girls off first and then go workout. The gym's only five minutes away."

Cuddy was surprised but she didn't say anything, just nodding.

"Help yourself," House said, indicating the coffee pot before he set his mug in the sink and headed past her to go get Evie ready.

Cuddy did pour herself a mug of coffee, sipping at it a minute before following after House. She watched from the doorway as he carefully undressed the baby, changing her diaper before dressing her.

"She definitely doesn't get that from me," Cuddy remarked in a whisper when he settled the baby against his chest, still sound asleep.

"No, this is all me," House replied proudly. "I was like that as a kid. Unless she's teething, this kid will sleep through a rock concert in the next room."

Cuddy smiled, her eyes upon House a moment before she reached out to carefully stroke the baby's hair. She tried to imagine House as a little boy, sleeping hard after a day of mischief. Then she moved out of his way so that he could pass, grabbing Evie's diaper bag and tucking the bottle he'd already prepared, within upon reaching the kitchen.

"We'll be home by six," House told her as he continued on in the direction of the garage door.

"What about your clothes for work?" Cuddy inquired, having noted what he was wearing.

"They're in my duffle bag, already out in the car. I put them out there after taking Monster outside. You don't have to worry about him before heading to work," House replied, pausing in the doorway.

"Is my car going to be in your way?" Cuddy asked.

"I already checked. It's fine. Though if you want to park in the garage tonight, you can. The spare garage door opener is in that first drawer," House informed her, pointing to the one at the end and directly underneath the home phone.

She nodded, setting her mug down to approach him and press a gentle kiss to the baby's rosy cheek. "Have a good day at work, House," she murmured softly, giving him a smile.

"We'll see you later," he replied, turning to pull the door open and head out into the garage, closing it behind him.

Cuddy heard the garage door open and close a couple minutes later as she finished drinking her coffee, checking to make sure House had turned the machine off before heading back upstairs to wake Rachel and dress her for the day. Then she carried her downstairs with a bag of provisions for her day and out the front door, locking up behind her. Buckling Rachel into the car, she headed to her house so that she could drop her off, meeting the nanny there at 8:30 before continuing on to work.

* * *

"Good morning, Dr. Cuddy," Janine greeted her as she came in. "You have several new messages on your desk, along with the paperwork you asked for regarding your 11 o'clock. The most important message to return is probably that of Dr. McKinley. He's calling regarding a donation. Oh, and before I forget, Dr. Chase called and said he'll be starting his paternity leave immediately. His wife gave birth on Friday. A little boy."

Cuddy was surprised House hadn't mentioned it over the weekend. Though Saturday had been quite busy, Sunday had been much more leisurely. "Did you send flowers?" Cuddy inquired.

Janine nodded. "Already done," she replied with a smile.

"Okay, well then, I'm going to try and dig myself out of all the work that I'm sure has piled up on my desk over the weekend and do some callbacks before making my rounds," Cuddy stated, returning Janine's smile before entering her office.

* * *

That Night

"So, we're grilling tonight?" Erika said as she stepped up onto House's deck to join him, Trevor sitting down on the bottom step to pet the puppy tied up there.

"Yep," House replied, passing Evie to her.

"You sure about this?" she asked then, an eyebrow raised.

"You asked me that when I called to ask you if you'd prefer steak or chicken," House responded, rolling his eyes. "Just because Cuddy and Rachel are living here doesn't mean my plans for Monday nights are going to change."

"Okay," Erika said with a shrug. "Just thought I'd check."

"Are _you _uncomfortable being here?" he inquired, turning to study her speculatively.

"No," she immediately answered. "Not at all."

"Good. Then I'm going to slice veggies before I get the meat I have marinating and cut that up to make kebobs. You can make yourself useful and feed Evie her bottle," House stated with a smirk before addressing her kid. "Trevor, you coming inside with us or staying out with Monster? We'll be back out in a while anyway."

"I think I'll play with Cookie Monster outside. Can I take him off the leash?" he asked.

House nodded. "Just keep an eye on him," he instructed before turning to walk to the glass door, opening it to head inside.

Erika shut it behind her and took the bottle from House once he'd made it, giving Evie a kiss before adjusting her in her arms, slipping the bottle in her mouth. House went to the fridge then, retrieving the meat and veggies, placing them on the island before retrieving a couple cans of Coke, popping the tab on hers before setting it near to her.

"Thanks," she replied, smiling. "So, how was your weekend?"

"Fine," he admitted, popping open his own Coke. "Did Wilson tell you Cameron and Chase had their baby?"

"He did," Erika answered, nodding. "He also told me about his discovery Saturday."

House chuckled wryly, turning to the sink to wash off the vegetables so that he could cut them up. "Yeah? He go off on you for not telling him?"

"No," she responded, shaking her head before glancing down at the baby in her arms. "But I didn't make a big deal about already knowing what you were planning to do."

House nodded. "You're safer that way," he quipped.

Erika smiled and shook her head, watching him as he started cutting up peppers, placing them in a bowl beside him. "But so far, it's going okay?" she asked.

"I haven't come running next door to gripe yet, have I?" he sarcastically queried.

"No, that's true," she replied lightly, adjusting her hold on the bottle so that she could take a sip of her pop.

House heard the front door open and set the knife down, turning at the sound of running feet before Rachel came into the room, launching herself at him. "Hi daddy!" she greeted as he picked her up.

"Hey kid," he replied, stroking her hair back and out of her face. So far Rachel was doing great with the move. She didn't seem to mind at all.

Rachel noticed Erika then and shyly said, "Hi."

"Hi Rachel," she greeted her, giving the little girl a smile.

"Trevor's out back with Cookie Monster, if you want to go play with them," House informed her as he returned her to the ground.

"Okay!" she declared, running over to the door, Erika following to open it and let her outside.

House heard Cuddy's high heels on the hardwood floor and glanced in the direction of the dining room as he washed his hands again.

"Hey," he said when she came into view.

"Hi," she replied with a smile as she continued towards him. "Where's Evie?"

"Erika's got her," House answered, just as Erika came back from the door and Cuddy caught sight of her, the baby in her arms, drinking her bottle contentedly.

"Hi," Erika said with a smile as she came back towards the island House was standing by, taking another sip of her Coke.

Cuddy's smile faltered but she managed to keep it on her face. Normally she'd go over and greet Evie but with Erika here, well, she didn't quite trust her reactions, given the way she was feeling right now at seeing _her _daughter in the other woman's arms.

"Hi Erika," she acknowledged once she'd recovered enough to put forth the persona she'd use with a donor she couldn't stand.

"We're grilling out on the deck," House told Cuddy over his shoulder as he went back to cutting vegetables. "Vegetable kebobs okay with you? The rest of us are having chicken or steak on ours. I'm also making baked potatoes and corn on the cob."

Cuddy nodded, trying to decide what to say or do right now. "That sounds great," she finally replied. "Do you need some help?"

"If you want to take over cutting the vegetables, that would free me to take care of the meat," he responded.

Cuddy headed for the sink to wash her hands and then took the knife House offered her. He pulled out another cutting board, a bowl, and grabbed the bags the two meats were marinating in. "Now that Rachel's outside, I should probably keep an eye on the kids," he said to Erika, moving to the eating bar in the breakfast nook so he'd be able to see them out the window.

Erika followed him after setting the now empty bottle down on the counter, placing Evie up on her shoulder to burp her while rubbing circles on the baby's back. "What did they name the baby again?" she asked House, returning to the subject of earlier.

"Robert Elliot Chase," House replied, glancing at her as he cut up the meat. "They plan to call him Elliot."

"And you went to visit them?" Erika inquired.

"When I got done with work on Friday," he answered. "I took Evie with me."

Erika nodded in acknowledgement.

"They… asked me to be his godfather," House admitted after a pause, his voice quieter and turning more serious.

Cuddy was listening to the conversation even if she wasn't taking part in it from where she was working at the island. She was startled to realize that Erika knew both Cameron and Chase. Her eyes widened even more at that piece of information regarding their selection of House as godparent to their child, while the knife she was holding hovered momentarily in the air. She looked House and Erika's way, trying to see his face so that she could determine how he felt about that, but Erika walked in the way, blocking him out.

"That's great!" Erika declared, approaching him and reaching out to squeeze his arm. "Congratulations! I assume you said yes."

A small smile hovered on his lips. "I did, though it caught me off-guard. Cameron has two brothers. I would think she'd ask one of them. And if not them, I'm somewhat surprised they didn't ask Wilson over me. He'd be a better candidate."

Erika gave him a pointed look before replying, "That's nonsense. James _would _make a great godfather. He _does. _He _adores _Evie. But obviously Cameron and Chase had reasons why they _chose_ you. _You, Greg House, _are a _great _dad to this little girl of yours. And I for one think they made an _excellent_ decision."

House didn't reply but Erika could tell that her words had sunken into his head by the way his mouth quirked upwards. He cleared his throat and changed the subject, saying, "I better go and check on those potatoes I've got on the grill."

Erika smiled at his dismissal of the conversation but replied, "I'll run home and grab dessert."

House took the baby from her and followed her out onto the deck, leaving Cuddy alone in the kitchen. She went back to cutting up vegetables, but she frowned, her thoughts on how in tune Erika appeared to be with House's feelings and thoughts. She hadn't hesitated to point out _why_ she thought Cameron and Chase had made the right call. And Cuddy… was more than a little upset that it hadn't been _her_ House had confided that news to and _her _reassuring him, whether or not he needed it.

The door to the deck opened once again and House came back with Evie in his arms. He grabbed the bowl of meat and approached Cuddy, noting that she had the vegetables ready to go.

Cuddy wanted to tell him what she thought regarding Cameron and Chase's decision, but it seemed a little pointless after what Erika had said. Instead she cupped Evie's face and pressed a kiss to her cheek, looking up at House afterwards to ask, "What else can I help with?"

He considered the question and suggested she get the condiments out for a baked potato bar before slicing up a few green onions. When she moved to the fridge, House placed Evie down on the floor, retrieving a toy for her to play with from her diaper bag near the backdoor. He then pulled out the box of kebob sticks and started assembling kebobs, placing them on a large baking tray.

"Are we eating inside or outside?" she inquired.

"Out on the deck. Rachel and Trevor seem to be warm enough and I'll grab a jacket for Evie, just in case," he replied.

Cuddy nodded and took the bowls House handed her to fill them with cheese, sour cream, and onions, once she'd cut them up.

Erika came back in and opened the fridge to put an angel food cake inside, along with a large bowl of strawberries and a canister of whipped cream.

"How can I help?" she directed at House.

House paused, trying to establish how many kebobs he had ready. Then he turned to look at her. "Grab Evie's jacket from her closet," he answered.

"The jean jacket, her pink one, or the one your mother sent her?" Erika sought to clarify.

Cuddy shot Erika a look, not liking that she knew so much about Evie and her belongings as to suggest off the top of her head, three possibilities for jackets House might be referring to, even aware of which one Blythe had sent. Cuddy averted her gaze quickly though, refocusing on what she was doing.

House shot Erika a wry look before drolly stating, "I don't know how you have my kid's wardrobe memorized. But just pick one."

"I'm a woman, in case you haven't noticed," she dryly replied. "Clothes are important to me. Plus you moaned and groaned about the jacket your mom sent her a couple weeks ago."

House gave her a dirty look but then quipped, his eyebrows waggling, "Believe it or not, I _have_ noticed you're a woman."

Erika just rolled her eyes and turned, heading out of the room to go retrieve Evie's jean jacket.

Cuddy decided she hated Mondays. "I'm going to go upstairs and change," she said, once everything was ready for House.

He nodded. "I'll cart Evie's highchair outside and place it at the picnic table. Then maybe I'll settle her out on the lawn on a blanket before I start grilling."

Cuddy managed a smile and nodded. "I'll sit out there with her when I come back," she replied before turning and making her way out of the room as Erika returned with Evie's jean jacket.

Erika scooped the baby up and slipped Evie's arms into the jean jacket before buttoning it up. House washed his hands and grabbed the corn cobs, placing them on the tray of the highchair before picking it up and carefully maneuvering it outside, Erika right behind him. While she sat down with the baby on the steps, watching Trevor and Rachel with the puppy, House threw the corn on the grill and headed back inside, retrieving a blanket from within along with several toys for Evie.

He stepped around Erika and limped out into the yard, laying the blanket down before returning to take his daughter. "Want to grab the kebobs for me?" he inquired.

She nodded and got up to go get them.

Once Evie was situated, House went back up on the porch and accepted the tray of kebobs from Erika, freeing her to go pet the puppy that was chewing at the grass where he lay between Rachel and Trevor.

Cuddy came out a moment later and sat down near Evie on the blanket, playing with her. By the time House announced dinner was ready, the table arranged with Erika's help, the puppy inside, Cuddy had strategized and was determined to get to know the enemy. After making Evie's dinner, House sat down on one side of the baby, Cuddy sitting across from him and next to Evie with the intention of feeding her, Rachel to her other side, while Trevor sat next to House, Erika to Trevor's right. Everyone started eating and Cuddy listened to Trevor's conversation with House about a chess team he was on before she turned to Erika.

"Have you lived next door long?" she asked her.

Erika smiled, having been uncertain how exactly to start up a conversation with the other woman, and replied, "Over ten years now. Trevor's father and my late husband, Ben, was a lawyer. He'd just opened up his own law practice nearby and we moved here shortly thereafter."

House's eyes shifted to Trevor at the mention of his father and he rifled the kid's hair, Erika giving him an appreciative look, though Trevor didn't seem uncomfortable with the conversation.

Erika took a bite of her baked potato but then swallowed and added, "Ben died two and a half years ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Cuddy replied, genuinely meaning it as she looked from Erika to the little boy across from Rachel. It had to be tough to lose a father while still so young.

"Thank you," Erika said before taking a deep breath. "It was unexpected."

Cuddy nodded, not asking anything further regarding her loss as she focused back on feeding Evie.

"Do you have a case right now?" Erika asked House then.

"Yeah," he answered, nodding. "Just got a patient referred to me from the West coast. He flew in over the weekend."

"Anything interesting?" she queried.

"Eh," House shrugged. "His symptoms lead me to believe I'm dealing with more than one medical condition but I've only been on the case one day so we'll see."

"How are you surviving without Cameron now that she's on maternity leave?" Erika teased.

House quirked an eyebrow and dryly informed her, "I've only been without her two days."

"Yeah, but now you have to do all the work," she replied.

"Dr. Cooper, my boss, reassigned a couple people to work under me in her absence," House corrected. "Even with the two of them, they can't make up for Cameron, since she's already trained in and knows how I think. But she's said that she's willing to conference call if I need her and it's kind of a given that I'll show up at her house at some point in the week, if I don't solve it on my own."

"You don't have a team?" Cuddy couldn't help asking.

House turned his gaze to her and pursed his lips before saying, "We're definitely heading in that direction but right now, no. It's on the agenda for the next board meeting. They haven't quite found the necessary funding required for a full Diagnostic department, although I've been told donations have gone up significantly since I agreed to take a position with them," he couldn't help adding in his own defense.

Probably right around the time our donations took a hit, Cuddy wryly thought to herself before focusing back on her food, Evie having finished her meal. She wished she could ask him to come back to work at PPTH but Cuddy didn't see House taking her up on that, even if she _didn't _have personal obstacles preventing her from rehiring him which she had to eventually deal with.

House changed the subject then, directing his attention to Trevor and Rachel, hearing all about what they'd done that day. When Evie started complaining about being entrapped in her highchair, House rescued her, settling her in his lap while he finished eating. Erika slipped into the house sometime later to dish up dessert and serve it, while Cuddy carried in plates and put them in the dishwasher.

When everyone was done and leftovers in the fridge, Erika turned to Trevor and said, "We need to get you home so that you can get your homework done before bedtime."

Trevor nodded, though the look on his face said that was the _last _thing he wanted to do, and said his goodbyes.

Erika approached House and gave Evie a loud kiss on the cheek before getting on her tiptoes to kiss House as well. "Thanks for dinner," she said. "Next week, my house?"

House nodded in agreement and Erika turned to look at Cuddy, who was staring at her like Erika had just done something _very _unacceptable. Her eyes widened slightly in response but she offered, "You and Rachel are welcome to join us next Monday if you would like to."

Cuddy slowly nodded. "Okay, thank you."

Erika nodded, turning away before wrapping her arm around Trevor and steering him towards the front door.

"I'll walk you out," House said, adjusting Evie in his arms as Erika paused to wait for him, Rachel tagging along as well.

Cuddy watched them go, her lips pursed. It wasn't that she didn't consider Erika _likable_. The woman hadn't really done anything to make her not like her. Unless you counted how involved she was in House and Evie's life, the relationship they obviously had, the way House talked with her, teasing her, the way Erika had told him what a great dad he was and that he was a great choice for a godfather, OR that _kiss_, even if it _was_ on House's cheek and not his mouth.

_Okay, _she admitted to herself. She _didn't exactly like_ Erika. Or what she represented/the threat she presented. But she could understand why House would like her, which really, wasn't all that reassuring, was it?

House came back into the kitchen with the girls a few minutes later. "Did you _want _to park in the garage?" he asked.

Cuddy looked at him from where she was putting the last of the dessert dishes in the dishwasher. Reaching for the dishwasher soap, she filled the spout and closed the dishwasher, turning it on.

"Sure," she replied as she toweled off her hands and pulled out the remote from the drawer he'd indicated that morning, then retrieving her car keys from her purse in the foyer closet.

House headed to the garage and opened the door, Cuddy directly behind him. Stepping out with Evie, he gestured to the empty space.

"Thank you," she replied, following him out into the garage.

House watched her eyes move around the garage and when they stopped, widening, he looked over to see what she was staring at.

"Is that…?" she began.

House's chin came up defiantly and he stared at her, waiting for her to finish her question.

"It is," she answered her own question, turning to look at him then. "You _stole _your handicapped parking sign?!"

"_No," _he replied soberly, drawing the answer out. "It was stolen _for _me by someone else."

Cuddy tossed her head and looked at him, giving him her Dean of Medicine stare. "_Who_ stole that for you?" she asked skeptically. "One of your team?"

"Cuddy, park your car in the garage," he retorted, an edge to his voice.

That was when she realized she'd been reacting as if he _still_ worked for her and this was just their normal working banter. Shaking herself, she said, "It's not like I'm going to take it back or yell at the person. We couldn't reuse it. It probably would have been thrown away."

"_Good_," House responded, a little put out to hear his sign would have been tossed in the trash, turning to go back inside. "Then we both agree it's none of your business _who_ took it."

Cuddy watched him go, sighing when he shut the door behind him. She turned and walked to her car, unlocking it, sticking the garage door opener on her visor, and then starting the engine to drive it in. Once she shut the garage door, she headed inside, finding House and the girls in the living room, Evie on the floor and House at the piano with Rachel in his lap.

He ignored her but she came to stand beside them anyway, biting her lip. Instead of bringing the subject back up, she watched him guide Rachel's hand on the piano keys before saying, "Back in January, I took Rachel to the mall with me and when I came back out, your old car was parked directly next to mine."

"I got rid of my old car right before Evie was born," he replied, not looking up. "I doubt it was mine."

"No, it was," Cuddy replied. "It was yours. I recognized it… well, I'd recognize it anyway but I checked to be sure and it had that dent from when you hit it with the wheelchair… the one you tried to make me pay to fix."

House glanced up at her, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips at the memory. Cuddy rolled her eyes but smiled too.

Refocusing his attention on Rachel and switching songs, leading into "Mary Had A Little Lamb," he asked, "So? What about it?"

Cuddy glanced at Evie on the floor and continued, "I had just gotten Rachel in the car when the driver showed up. I expected to turn around and have it be you standing there but it wasn't. It was a woman with her two little boys. I must have scared her by the way I was staring at her. Anyway, I tried to explain that I thought the car belonged to someone I knew and she said maybe it had. She said she got it from the shelter she'd been staying at and was in the process of trying to get her life back together. She… wanted me to thank you for her. So… thank you, House."

He looked back up at her, an eyebrow raised. Finally he nodded, glancing at Evie.

"Can I ask you something?" Cuddy inquired, looking down at his hand where it held Rachel's, offering guidance as to which piano key to push down next in the song.

He didn't verbally reply but he did nod slightly, his attention back on Rachel.

"Do you miss your old life? I mean," she clarified, "life before Evie? Your old job, old apartment, old car?"

He hadn't really been expecting the question. "Are you asking me if I regret my kid?" he gruffly inquired.

Cuddy quickly shook her head. "No. Not at all. Just… if you miss life before her."

"What was so great about it?" House asked quietly. He shifted on the piano bench and set Rachel down before getting to his feet and walking over to pick Evie up. Without waiting for Cuddy to reply, he said, "I know this wasn't planned, I know you didn't want… to be pregnant with my kid, I know I forced you into carrying through with a pregnancy you didn't want; but can you look at her and tell me that she doesn't more than make up for it? Can you tell me _any _sacrifices I've made don't pale in comparison to _this?"_

Cuddy choked up, watching as he turned his head to bury his face in Evie's neck causing Evie to giggle and squirm in his arms. When he turned back to her, he calmly replied, "No. Sometimes I do think about my old job, my department, my team, my best friend being right next door. But taking employment elsewhere was the option you put before me and it was… time for me to leave. The apartment… I was more than ready to walk away from when I moved. The car… was just a car. My life… might be different than it was before. But _I'm _different than who I was before. And… _Evie's _the best part of all of it."

Cuddy worked to blink back tears and nodded. When her voice came back to her, she tremulously murmured, "I have a lot of regrets, House. But Evie isn't one of them. And… I want you to know… I am _so _thankful that she's here today and that… you're her daddy."

He exhaled through his nose and looked down at the floor before glancing at Rachel and then at Evie in his arms. Finally he nodded in acknowledgement of what she'd said and turned. "I'm going to put her in her pajamas and change her diaper before getting her a bottle," he mumbled. "Maybe you could try to feed her tonight."

Cuddy nodded though he couldn't see her, using her index finger to brush aside a tear as she watched him leave. Turning, she sat down on the couch, lifting Rachel and baby G, who Rachel had left in the living room earlier after returning from Cuddy's house, up to sit next to her on the couch. When House returned, he placed Evie in Cuddy's arms, the bottle already in her mouth.

Evie looked at Cuddy and squirmed but House leaned over the baby so that she could see him the whole time and after a moment, she settled down, drinking her bottle, her eyes shifting from one to the other until they started drifting closed in sleep.

Cuddy looked up at House in surprise when Evie fell asleep in her arms. He sat back on the couch and sighed.

"She… she let me…" Cuddy mumbled.

"And at bedtime," House muttered.

"But you _were_ right there," she added pointedly.

House shrugged. "Baby steps."

* * *

Cuddy lay in bed that night, thinking about the evening. House had invited her to be the one to put Evie in her crib, tucking her in while he took Rachel upstairs and tracked down pajamas for her to wear. By the time she'd come up, House was reading Rachel a bedtime story. He had finished the story and she had demanded a kiss before he'd gone back downstairs. Then Cuddy had taken Rachel to the bathroom to put an overnight pull-up on her just in case before helping her brush her teeth.

House was already in his room when she returned downstairs so she'd just shot his closed door a longing look before retrieving her briefcase, carrying it up to get some work done before turning in. Now as she lay under the blankets, she thought about House and how his life had changed and him along with it. She didn't care if he had changed. He was still House. And even if she didn't like it, she saw glimpses of the House she knew when he interacted with Erika. But Erika was going to have to find someone else, because House was hers. And she'd wait forever if she had to in order to claim him. She'd rather be "alone," waiting for him to return to her, than out there with anyone else.

-----

"_**Have you seen my love and  
Is he far away?  
Have you seen the one for me whose  
Face lights up my day?  
I won't let one boy steal a kiss or**_

_**Call me his, instead I'll wait**_

_**For his voice to call out to mine**_

_**And carry these daydreams away**_

**_Have you seen my love and  
Is he far away?  
Have you seen the one for me who_**

**_Won't let me get away?  
Please tell him that I'm waiting for him  
Praying for him  
Night and day  
For now I'll be a lonely girl just_**

**_Longing for his sweet embrace_**

**_Please tell him that I'm waiting for him  
Praying for him  
Night and day  
For now I'll be a lonely girl just_**

**_Longing for his sweet embrace"_**

* * *

Song: "Have You Seen My Love?" (Rosie Thomas)


	74. Circles

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(The insanity continues. :) I know when it comes to Wilson in this story, people are divided into two categories, either loving or hating him right now, and even after this chapter, you'll STILL probably be on the same side of the line as you were before it but... I still love him. What can I say? Even if its the misery-prone, blue-eyed diagnostician who has my heart. :) Read and review!)_

* * *

May 10th, 2011

Cuddy cooked dinner Tuesday night, having left work a little early in order to beat House home and prepare it. He'd been surprised to find Rachel and Cuddy already home but he hadn't said anything. The four of them sat down at the table when it was ready, Cookie Monster also eating, if only dog food in his pen.

"House, how did Erika's husband die?" Cuddy asked, cutting up Rachel's vegetarian lasagna while House placed the first spoonful of baby food in Evie's mouth, his eyes on the baby.

He looked up at her in surprise but decided he'd rather have her ask him than ask Erika, so he replied, "He had a heart condition and they didn't know it. One day after his workout he was in the shower and collapsed. She found him a half hour later but he was already dead. It wouldn't have mattered if she'd found him earlier though. I got the impression he died right away. The doctors said he was a ticking time bomb."

Cuddy tried to imagine how she would have handled something like that. Her thoughts went to House's near-death experiences and a pang shot through her chest as she looked up at him and nodded, her eyes reflecting her sadness.

After a moment she asked, "And Trevor?"

"His legs?" House clarified, taking a bite of his lasagna when he had a moment.

Cuddy nodded.

"Car accident," he answered. "He was riding to soccer with a friend when a car ran a red light and smashed into them. Trevor was sitting where the car most suffered from the impact. They thought they'd have to amputate his legs because they'd been crushed but after multiple surgeries, and most definitely in part because he's a kid, his bones are still growing, and repair happens on its own at that age, they managed to repair them as best as they could."

"Do you… do you think there would be any possibility of something being done to help him… more?" she inquired.

"I don't know. I haven't seen his medical records and I don't want to give them false hope. Plus, it's not my specialty," House responded, shrugging. "The doctors are monitoring him as he grows to make sure his legs grow with the rest of him. Unfortunately, at this point they don't expect him to recover _full _use of them. The accident was too serious. But he's adjusting. He's come a long ways since I met him."

"_Come on, kid_," House muttered to Evie as she'd started to spit out the food. Glancing at Cuddy, he wryly said, "I guess she doesn't think highly of harvest vegetables with mixed grains."

Getting to his feet, he headed for the pantry and rifled through the baby food jars before finding pears. He opened a can and mixed a little in, leaving a little separate as well. When he sat back down, he gave her a spoonful of pure pears, which she accepted, and then attempted a mixture of both. She crinkled her nose but appeared willing to continue eating it, as long as the first taste to hit her tongue was fruity.

They ate in silence for the rest of the meal, Cuddy unable to come up with any other questions that didn't involve House himself and House not minding the silence. When everyone was done, he got up and did the dishes before freeing Evie from the highchair. Looking her over, he noticed she'd somehow gotten food in the small folds of baby skin on her neck.

"I'm going to give her a bath," House informed Cuddy, cleaning out the kitchen sink before filling it partway with warm water.

"Can I… can I watch… or help?" Cuddy inquired, not having been present for a bath yet.

House looked at her in surprise but pursed his lips, shrugging before saying, "Be my guest."

He headed out of the room to retrieve Evie's baby robe and other necessities from his personal bathroom where he'd last used them, returning a moment later with everything he needed, wrapped in a towel. Even Rachel showed up for Evie's bath, carrying baby G and sitting on the counter not too far from where House was as he stripped Evie down and lowered her into the water, Rachel munching on a cookie.

Evie started slapping her hands excitedly against the surface of the water, causing House to wipe away water droplets that had splashed on his face in the process. Evie blinked rapidly as well, momentarily stunned at being her own victim, her mouth opening in a round circle before she started chortling despite the water running down her face. Cuddy laughed at her reaction while House grabbed a cup to pour water over her head, wetting her hair down. Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, given she had become accustomed to oftentimes getting cleaned up under the showerhead while in the shower with House, Evie didn't cry, just waiting for House to towel off her face. He did and then put a little baby shampoo into his palm before working it into her hair, Evie back to splashing.

"Mommy," Rachel asked, watching her sister. "How come she not take bath in the tubby?"

Cuddy glanced at House, letting him answer.

"Evie has a baby bathtub but she doesn't like having to lay down in it now that she can sit up on her own," House answered. "So sometimes I give her baths in the sink but normally she just comes in the shower with daddy."

"Oh," Rachel replied, considering this response. "Can I take a tubby in the sink?"

"Sorry kid. You're too big," House replied.

"When I was little like baby G, me take a tubby in the sink?" she asked next.

"No," Cuddy said, shaking her head. "You had a baby tubby too and then when you got to be a little bigger, you took baths in the big tubby."

House rinsed out Evie's hair and then soaped up a washcloth for Cuddy, offering her the opportunity to take over. She accepted it after looking at him in pleased surprise.

"Did you give me a tubby, daddy?" Rachel asked.

"One time," he replied, moving around Cuddy so that he could stand by Rachel and make sure she didn't fall off the countertop. "But you weren't a baby like Evie. You were almost as big as you are now. Do you remember?"

Rachel shook her head while Cuddy glanced at him, but House didn't look her way.

"Will you give me a tubby after baby G?" Rachel inquired hopefully.

House quirked an eyebrow but dryly replied, "If we can do it upstairs in the bathtub."

Rachel nodded, clearly pleased.

Cuddy looked affectionately from her to House but then back at Evie whose splashing had increased and was now causing Cuddy to get wet, not that she minded. She'd take a drenching if it meant giving Evie a bath for the first time… or the hundredth time, she mentally amended.

"Look how curly her hair is when it's wet," she couldn't help commenting, fingering a lock.

When Evie was thoroughly clean, Cuddy lifted her out, holding her up while House wrapped her in a towel, taking her to dry her off. Switching her to her robe, he then reached for her brush, handing it to Cuddy so that she could try and work magic with Evie's unruly hair.

By the time House had Evie back in a diaper, her hair was forming into tufts once again.

"I could probably manage that with some product," Cuddy remarked with a smile.

"Not a chance," House negated, reaching for the baby's pajamas before passing Evie to Cuddy. "No fru fru hair gel for my kid."

Evie started to fuss but House turned to Rachel, helping her down off the counter. "Your turn, kid," he informed her, accepting her proffered hand before letting her practically drag him towards the stairwell.

Cuddy finished buttoning up Evie's pajamas, bouncing her as she started crying more earnestly. Turning, she followed House and Rachel upstairs, placing Evie on the bathroom floor, House reaching out for her and slipping his finger in her fist, shushing her while he ran the water for Rachel. Cuddy slipped out of the bathroom and retrieved some pajamas and a pull-up from Rachel's room, along with some toys before returning to sit against the bathroom wall on the other side of Evie as Rachel tore her clothes off all by herself, turning to House when she was done, arms extended so that he could place her in the tub.

House took his hand back from Evie, passing her a bathtub toy now that she'd calmed down, and then placed Rachel in the bathtub, repeating the process they'd just done with Evie, though Rachel wasn't as interested in splashing as she was in her toys.

For a second he allowed himself to contemplate what it would be like to have this become a regular part of his life. But House dismissed the thought after a moment, knowing it wasn't going to happen. Instead, he'd just enjoy moments like this with Rachel while he had them.

* * *

May 11th, 2011

"So?" Kate asked when Cuddy took her seat. "Did you and Rachel move in?"

"We moved in Saturday afternoon," she said, nodding.

"And how is it going? Are you making any progress with the baby?"

Cuddy couldn't help smiling. "Monday night she let me feed her a bottle and fell asleep in my arms sans tears. House figured out that as long as he's right there, she's okay with it. Of course I'd still like to get to a point where I can hold her without House having to be right at hand for it, and especially, where she _wants_ me to."

Kate nodded in understanding. "How has the move been?"

Cuddy considered the question. "Rachel seems to have adjusted without issue. I imagine it helps that the majority of her things came with us. This morning she woke up before I was done getting ready and just came into my room, lying on my bed with her blankie while I finished getting dressed. I was expecting tears the morning she woke up without me right at hand but she knew where to go looking for me and that makes me think she's fine."

"And how are you doing with the move?" Kate questioned.

She gave her a half-smile. "I'm… really enjoying being as present as I am. There have been some challenging moments, but it's been really nice and I think I am more smitten with Evie every day."

"Do you want to talk about those challenging moments?" Kate asked, her expression one of invitation.

Cuddy sighed, looking down at the ground. "You remember House's friend, Wilson?"

Kate nodded.

"Well, he was at the house on Saturday when I arrived to start unloading things. I didn't talk to him. I just saw him. He was out back with House and… from the looks of things, he wasn't so pleased with what he'd probably _just_ found out." Cuddy paused for a moment and then decided she might as well go even further back, since she'd never told Kate about being confronted by either Wilson or Chase, too caught up in telling her about her first time meeting Evie to have focused on that at the time.

"The week House told me I could meet Evie for the first time, Wilson later showed up in my office to… confront me. He… wasn't all that pleased with the fact that I wanted back in the picture. He was upset with me for allowing everyone at PPTH to think she'd been stillborn. But I think the greater issue was definitely House, since he talked more about him than Evie. He… Wilson started to say something about the next time I hurt House and I automatically interrupted to say I wasn't going to hurt him again. I… confessed that I love him. But Wilson didn't believe me and I think that what I said just upset him more. He argued that there isn't one thing I've done in the past couple years that I could highlight to testify to any love I feel for him. He accused me of seeing House as my only means of escape from ending up alone. He… told me to leave House alone and said that Evie doesn't deserve to be used in order that I can get my hands on House, which _of course_ was _not why I wanted to be a part of her life,_ and he said that… House has already suffered enough," she finished, her eyes returning to the carpet.

"How did that make you feel?" Kate asked.

A few tears trickled down Cuddy's cheeks and she brushed them away, semi-embarrassed about it, which struck her as silly because Kate had seen her when she'd been a lot worse. Kate passed her the Kleenex box without comment, waiting patiently.

"Wilson said that he cares about me and seemed to be saying he _wanted _me to succeed in… proving myself capable where Evie's concerned and… loving her as she deserves. But he definitely made it very clear that he didn't want me to be involved with House. And I… Wilson _and _I have seen House go through _a lot _over the years. When Wilson couldn't be there for House, I always made sure I was. But for the most part, it was Wilson. And… there isn't a doubt in my mind that Wilson was there when _I_ was the one causing House pain," Cuddy admitted. "If I think rationally about it, I have to think that Wilson probably felt betrayed by me because… up until I started seeing Lucas, we were a team at looking out for House. And then… I _wasn't_ looking out for House. I was looking out for myself. And when things ended with Lucas and I found out I was pregnant, it wasn't just that I wasn't looking out for House anymore but… that I was taking everything out on him. Maybe… maybe Wilson expected me to always be co-team captain of looking out for House. If he was… then it's obvious I was a disappointment."

"Technically, it wasn't either of your responsibilities to 'look out for' House," Kate reminded.

Cuddy looked at her and said, "Maybe not but… that's what you do when you care about someone. House… _needed someone_ looking out for him. He _wasn't _going to look out for himself. Well," she amended. "Not as a normal, rational person would, anyway."

"Does Wilson know the full history of your relationship with House?" Kate inquired.

"You mean going back to med school?" Cuddy frowned thoughtfully, her eyebrows puckering. "I don't know. It's possible House has told him."

Kate nodded. "What about more recently when you were interested in House, before Lucas? Was he aware you were interested in House?"

"To an extent," she replied. "I didn't talk a lot about it but… he knew."

"And he was okay with that? With the idea of you and House being together?" Kate clarified.

"Half the time Wilson was the one _pushing _us to start a relationship," Cuddy corrected wryly.

Kate mulled that over for a while and then remembered another detail from months ago. "You once said that William – or Wilson as I now know him as, came to you when you were dating Lucas and told you that you ought to give House a shot, saying that he was your 'one and only,' which at the time, you didn't believe but now… do believe… right?"

Cuddy bit her lip at the reminder of that encounter with Wilson but nodded.

"So even _after _you were involved with someone else, Wilson was encouraging you to date House, correct?" Kate continued.

Cuddy nodded once again.

"Wilson's _always _looking out for House?" she pressed.

"According to what Wilson believes to be in House's best interest, usually yes," Cuddy replied.

"And now Wilson doesn't believe you'd be in House's best interest," Kate said. "In fact, from the sounds of it, he thinks your involvement in House's life is detrimental."

Cuddy dropped her gaze, unable to meet Kate's eyes, and Kate was quick to say, "That doesn't mean it's true. You've come a long ways and seem quite aware of what stands in the way of you having a relationship with House. Furthermore, and more importantly, you regret how you've treated him."

Cuddy looked back up at her then. "I do," she murmured.

"What I'm getting at is, you know Wilson better than I do. You also have a better idea of what Wilson had to witness House going through. My question then is… if Wilson was pushing you both towards a relationship, how do you think he feels about _his _involvement in encouraging you both _after _having to watch House go through a hard time due to what happened after Lucas left?"

"You're saying he might feel partly responsible for all House went through because of… me?" Cuddy asked in bewilderment.

"I'm asking if _you _think that's likely," Kate corrected. "You know him better than I do. But if he's made it his job to look out for House and… failed to protect him from _you_, well, that makes _me _question whether he doesn't feel like he… I don't know… holds himself partly to blame for House's 'suffering'. He didn't do his self-appointed job. By nature, people want to believe they can control more than they truly can. All three of you have undoubtedly made mistakes along the way, because we _all _do. But sometimes we take responsibility for more than we reasonably have any logical reason for doing."

"So what are you saying?" Cuddy queried, still confused.

"Okay, well, Wilson has a problem with you moving in with House, we're assuming anyway; which, is logical given how he originally felt when House allowed you to be involved in Evie's life back in April," Kate began, Cuddy nodding in agreement. "And for you, that is a challenge because… why?"

"Because I want to be involved in Evie's life but I _want _to be in House's life too! And if Wilson's against me, being House's best friend, I'm going to be… constantly under the microscope and… falling short! Not just with House but with Evie too! And he's not the only one…" Cuddy continued, agitatedly.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Kate interrupted, her hand up. "Let's deal with one thing at a time here. What do you _want_ to do about Wilson? Do you want to _talk _to him? Do you want _House _to talk to him?"

"I _don't _want _House _to fight my battles for me!" she protested indignantly.

"Okay," Kate accepted. "What _do _you want?"

"I… I want…" Cuddy sighed heavily then, moistening her lips as she looked away. "Wilson used to be my friend too. And I _get _that we aren't friends anymore but… I want my _friend _back. I… also want him to give me a chance here, but I don't see that happening until I've… _proved myself_ so… I guess I'd just like him to understand that this hasn't been easy for me and… I've _paid… I AM paying_ for hurting someone I _love!_ I… House said Wilson usually comes over on Saturdays to spend time with him and Evie. But if I'm going to be present, I want to find a way for this to work without Saturdays ending with me feeling discouraged and like… I'm not capable of being the mother Evie needs me to be."

Kate nodded. "Do you want me to go with you to talk to him or do you want to talk to him on your own?" she asked.

Cuddy huffed out a breath and then pursed her lips. "I'd rather _try _to do this on my own first and if that doesn't work… consider having you come with," she replied.

"Okay. Did you want to tell me about who else has you 'under the microscope,' as you put it?" Kate asked.

"Since it's not as pressing, maybe we'll just hold off until next week," Cuddy answered after glancing at her watch. "Our time is up anyway."

Kate nodded. "I'm here for you if you need me," she reminded her, getting up when Cuddy stood to her feet so that she could walk her out.

Cuddy shot her a grateful smile and murmured a thank you as they walked together towards the door.

* * *

Leaving PPTH, noting that Wilson's car was no longer in the parking lot, Cuddy decided not to put this off any longer. It was Wednesday and House and Evie wouldn't be home until late anyway. Calling her nanny, she quickly checked to see if Stephanie would be available to stay late tonight. After finding out that it wouldn't be a problem, Cuddy drove in the direction of Wilson's apartment, checking to verify his car was in the lot upon her arrival.

Five minutes later she stood before his door, scrunching her eyes closed nervously, her hand raised to knock. Taking a deep breath, she rapped on the door.

Wilson opened it a minute later and stared at her in surprise.

"May I come in?" she asked softly, biting her lip as her eyes searched his.

He paused for a moment, clearly considering her request, but then stepped aside to permit her entrance, bobbing his head slightly.

She entered but waited uncertainly as he closed the door, unsure whether she should take a seat or just stand where she was at. Wilson turned to her but didn't seem to have any problem with her remaining where she was. He waited with an eyebrow raised for her to explain why she'd come.

Cuddy took a deep breath, steeling herself to launch into this one. Strangely enough, she was slightly more used to being vulnerable where Wilson was concerned than she was with House. Perhaps that was because up until Lucas, he'd always been the more understanding and compassionate of the two and the one to reach out in comfort when House had done something to upset her. She only wished that was of help to her right now. Those days were long gone. Moistening her lips, she opted to go with vulnerability anyway. Given the circumstances, it was a far more compelling argument with Wilson than logic would be, since logic probably made his opinion of her justifiable or at the very least, defendable. The problem was she knew she'd have to choose her words carefully, doing her best to avoid the pitfalls that would cause Wilson to question her motives, even erroneously.

"I miss you," she began softly. "You used to be my friend and… I miss that. I miss having a friend at PPTH. I miss the camaraderie that we used to have. I miss sitting across a boardroom table and being able to glance at you and exchange mutual annoyance when someone is being stupid about something unimportant. And so I am asking you, is there _any _chance that we might be able to be friends again someday?"

Wilson looked at her, not having expected her to show up at his apartment and certainly not to say something like this. In some ways she'd disarmed him a little. He rubbed a hand over his face, his mouth pursing and unpursing as he tried to figure out how he was to respond to this. Finally he cleared his throat and said, "I don't know, Cuddy."

She nodded slowly after staring into his eyes a moment, glancing down at the floor before meeting his gaze once again. "Will you think about it?" she asked.

Wilson exhaled through his nose but shrugged, which Cuddy _chose _to interpret as indicating he would.

She bit her lip but then asked, "What is going to happen when you come to House's place and Rachel and I are there? Am I going to have to leave? Or are we… able to be civil? Because Wilson, I understand that what I did… put us on opposite sides of the line around House and… I haven't done anything to prove to you that I don't still _belong _on the outside of the circle you've drawn around him to protect him but… I think you're wrong to punish me anymore than I've already been punished. And you _can't_ punish me anymore than I'm punishing myself! It's not possible! I've… lost a lot in this too. What happened… destroyed me and I'm… slowly rebuilding but… I have a long ways to go and I don't know that I _can _fully come back from everything but… I _know _recovering won't be possible if no one believes in me at all. I… I am _trying _to be the _best mother I can_ to both of my girls. And even if you think that I'm a… _lost cause,_ I _need _you to give me a shot."

Wilson had come close to interrupting when she'd said he was wrong to punish her, defensive regarding the stance he had taken regarding Cuddy. But he held his tongue upon hearing her point out that she was punishing herself more than he ever could. He couldn't agree or disagree with that. Well, he _wanted _to disagree, but he _chose_ to restrain himself. He wasn't around her all that much anymore and she certainly hadn't made any confessions to him, but he _supposed _it was _possible _that she was punishing herself for her actions. Wilson decided he'd have to think that one over. He remembered House's words back in October. "_I am telling you that you're wrong in thinking she's not suffering. You're wrong if you think she hasn't paid enough and ought to suffer more. And you're wrong in this misguided belief of yours that by Cuddy getting help and getting better, that I will inherently get worse." _House had argued that Cuddy was in her own hell. But that had been _before _she'd denied her child's existence at PPTH. And even if Wilson had personally concluded that in staying out of Evie's life, Cuddy hadn't had many other options available to use at PPTH as reasons for the lack of a child she'd been obviously pregnant with previously, he'd _seen _how House took the news and it still bothered him.

Cuddy waited silently while Wilson thought through what she said, uncertain as to what he was thinking or concluding. Finally he established eye contact and asked, "When are you going to come clean at PPTH regarding Evie's existence?"

Cuddy looked down at the floor, pained at the reminder. Meeting his gaze a second later, she calmly asked, "Is that your condition for supporting me? For being my friend again?"

Wilson studied her, his forehead crinkling. That actually _hadn't _been where he was coming from. "Would you do it if it was?" he couldn't help inquiring, uncertain whether he could swallow her reasoning if that was why she'd do it.

She licked her lips but replied, "I'm going to have to 'come clean' anyway, Wilson. Not because you want me to. Because I _need _to. I can't _not _acknowledge Evie. I _can't_ keep her a secret the rest of her life."

"So you're going to tell everyone at PPTH _because_ you have no other choice?" he clarified skeptically, a hand settling on his waist as he tilted his head, his gaze penetrating.

She shook her head, her expression somber. "No. That's _not_ what I'm saying. I… I _have _to acknowledge what I did because _I can't live with myself _if I don't. And I _want _to be able to talk about her like any mother would, to brag about what she's doing now or as she gets older, the cute things she says. I _made _a mistake. So _many _mistakes, Wilson. And I can't correct that overnight. I… I'll _never _be able to make up for all I've done. But… I'd appreciate it if you could try and… show me a little compassion as I try to do what I _can_."

"When are you going to tell everyone?" Wilson pressed.

Cuddy stared at him and then took a deep breath. Slightly exasperated, she stated, "Clearly not as _soon_ as you'd _like_ me to. I'm sorry Wilson but I _can't _handle everything at once! I… _need _to focus on my daughter. And… I'm not in denial of the very _real_ possibility… okay, _probability_ that I'll be throwing my career in the toilet when what I've done comes out! Who is going to respect me after what I've done, Wilson?! I have _two _daughters! One adopted and one biological. And I _love them both._ They are _equally _mine. Yet I couldn't deal with what was going on in my life and I practically _threw away _my child! _Not _that giving her to House to raise was a _bad_ decision. Because it was the _best thing _that could have happened to Evie back then and he is… an _amazing father _to our child, but… Wilson, I _surrendered my rights to her!_ I can't even _think _about that because of how much it _hurts_ me! Do you have _any idea _how much knowing that _I've_ _severed _ties with my child _costs me?! _How will I _ever _explain that to her?! I can't get it back. I can't undo it. I _am _her mother but… legally, I'm _not."_

"Cuddy," Wilson began, not that he knew what he was going to say. He _couldn't _correct her. It wasn't his place and… House had a right to do that in his own time.

She didn't let him continue. "No, I'm not done," she said sharply. "I haven't told anyone what I'm thinking regarding this and now that you have me telling you, I'm _going_ to tell you_ everything _I think about it_._ I adopted Rachel. I gave birth to Evie. But _honestly, _how does a woman testify that adopting a child is worthwhile but go on to _deny_ her biological offspring? _Who in this hospital is going to respect THAT? _Certainly not anyone who doesn't know the circumstances of everything that was going on! Wilson, _no one _will _understand _that I was severely depressed, my reasoning was illogical, and I had a mental breakdown that _came very close _to bringing an end to my life! _You _can't even accept that! And _even _if I _told_ them, it's _not reassuring _to know the person in charge of the whole hospital was running it while _mentally unstable!_ Who is going to _believe _I'm _capable _of being in my capacity here at PPTH after this spreads?! Who is going to _respect _me _at all_ after this?!"

"I think I might," Wilson honestly mumbled when she stopped speaking.

Cuddy blinked and then tossed her head about in confusion, attempting to understand what he was saying and his rationale in deciding that. "Because I'll be giving my career up as if it's some form of penitence?" she asked disbelievingly. "_That _will potentially lead to you finding me respectable again?"

Wilson exhaled heavily and seriously muttered, "Cuddy, you make a great boss. You are an excellent dean and administrator. _No one _can do your job the way _you _do it. You're the best person for the job. _Setting_ _aside _what happened during your pregnancy and how you performed at PPTH during it, _before that_, you _were _the best person for the job. _I _knew that. _House…_ knew that. It wasn't just that you put up with him or that you knew how to handle him; you knew how to handle the _whole hospital._ Obviously, the board _believed_ that or they'd have _replaced_ you. I… I'm not saying this won't cost you your job. It most likely will. But… I'm saying that while I might not interact with you at the hospital right now, I have no criticism regarding _how _you're doing your job at the moment. You… you have my professional respect. It's my personal respect that you've lost."

Cuddy wasn't so sure it was logical to be grateful for that but… she was. "Thank you," she murmured, glancing down at her feet.

"You're welcome," Wilson acknowledged, his tone equally subdued, his admission awkward now that it was out.

Cuddy didn't want to cry. But she knew she was teetering on the edge. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she prompted, "And Saturday?"

Wilson met her eyes, finally shrugging. "I still don't want you _with_ House. I'm not in favor of a personal relationship between you two anymore. I… I _can't _support that if that's something you are after. Also… I'm not sure you and I can be friends exactly but maybe in time and… if you're really focusing on being a mom to Evie, I have no intention of getting in your way. I _love _that baby. And I know she _deserves _a mother. I know House _wants _you to be that. And you _should. _I meant what I said. I… care about you and I want that for you. Saturday… will be fine. I'll… work to be on my best behavior."

Cuddy could settle for that. She nodded. "Okay," she managed breathily.

Wilson nodded as well and then turned to open his door for her. She paused in passing him, tempted to throw her arms around him because she _was_ _THAT _emotional about everything, but thinking better of it, she just glanced at him and said, "I'll see you tomorrow at work."

"Yeah," he replied, watching her leave before shutting his door behind her. Then he headed into the kitchen to grab a beer before calling Erika up to see what she was doing. He hoped she had some light and fluffy story of something that had taken place with Trevor to calm the sudden storm within him.

* * *

"But it's going well?" Nolan clarified after House had updated him on how things were going.

He rolled his eyes but shrugged. "I guess," he replied noncommittally.

"But you _did_ say Evie let Dr. Cuddy hold her and feed her a bottle, even falling asleep in her arms, as long as you kept in her line of vision," Nolan pressed.

"Yeah. As long as I was less than a foot away the whole time," he sarcastically remarked.

Nolan studied him, trying to analyze his mood. Pursing his lips a moment, he finally sat straighter in his chair and asked, "You're annoyed that she's not making _more_ progress?"

House stared at him and then dropped his eyes to Evie who was in his lap, slightly fussy as House had determined on his lunch break that she had another tooth coming in. Evie kept bringing her head down towards his hand and after a while he just gave her what she wanted and allowed her to gnaw on his knuckle. He imagined the medicine was wearing off.

Honestly he knew his mood at the moment had _nothing _to do with Evie. It had nothing to do with the progression of Cuddy's relationship with the baby. _This_ was about the fact that he'd lied in bed last night, all too aware of the fact that when Cuddy left and took Rachel with her, he'd… _miss_ having Rachel around all the time. But he wasn't so certain he wanted to acknowledge that to Nolan. Rachel hadn't even been living with him a full week. Did he really want to voice the fact that he was _concerned_ about how, the longer it took, the more attached he might grow to being an everyday dad to two children, instead of one?

"No," he replied quietly. "I'm not annoyed with her rate of progress. This is… just turning into a long week for me at work. The individual who normally works for me is on maternity leave. On top of that, my mother called today and insists that she's coming for a visit at the end of the month. I… haven't told her yet that Cuddy's back in the picture. I certainly haven't told her that she's _living _in my house."

Nolan raised his eyebrows and asked, "Are you planning on telling her _before_ she comes?"

House gave him a pointed look. "As much _fun _as it would be to wait and let her find out for herself," he sarcastically replied, "I'm pretty sure I have no choice but to _tell _her. She can't stay at my house. I mean, I _have_ a spare bedroom in the basement but it's unfurnished and frankly, I think I'd _prefer_ to leave it that way for now. If my mother is pleased that Cuddy's in the picture, I'm going to spend all weekend annoyed. Shortly after Evie's birth, when she found out Cuddy's identity, she called her and… _declared _that I was incapable of single parenthood or… _something _to that effect. I'll be disgusted if she's overjoyed that Cuddy's suddenly on the scene. At the same time, if she's not thrilled at the news and spends all weekend riding Cuddy for not being here before, I'm going to be the one trying to keep the peace. I'm _NOT _a _peacekeeper. _By nature _I'm a peace-disrupter_. The best I can hope for is the middle ground. I'm not sure my mother _does _middle ground though. No, a hotel would be best. That way it's _guaranteed_ at least during some point each day, she won't be around and _someone_ will be able to breathe. Don't get me wrong. I _love _my mother. I'm just… being realistic here."

"She's just coming for a weekend though?" Nolan inquired.

"Friday thru Sunday," House replied dryly. "She wanted to come _this _weekend but I managed to talk her into waiting so that I could 'have time' to clear my schedule for her."

Nolan nodded. "Want to go grab some dinner before you head for home?" he asked then as Evie started to cry. "I'm guessing you have to do something about _that _before you begin the long drive home."

House smirked, placing the baby up on his shoulder. "You're buying though. You're already costing me a fortune."

Nolan chuckled dryly but he agreed, "My invitation, my buy."

"Let's go somewhere expensive then," House suggested.

"Not on your life," Nolan responded, an eyebrow raised. "You're not paying me _that _much and besides, I seem to recall you once convincing someone we were in an unsavory relationship. I'm not paying the bill at a fancy restaurant and giving anyone further cause to suspect I play for the other team, let alone that I've started a family with a white guy."

House chuckled. "But I'm quite the catch," he quipped, slipping Evie back into her carrier and buckling her in before digging out her Children's Tylenol to give her another dose.

Nolan grunted in response, leaving it at that.

* * *

Cuddy was in the kitchen making herself a cup of tea when House walked in with Evie after 9 p.m. that night.

"Hey," she greeted him, approaching them to press a kiss to Evie's cheek.

Evie was whining and buried her face into House's neck, causing Cuddy to look at him questioningly. "I'm surprised she's not asleep."

He walked around her to open the fridge, pulling out a can of Coke for himself and a teething ring for Evie. "Tooth coming in," he explained casually. "It'll be a long night."

House adjusted his hold on Evie before offering her the teething ring, which she accepted readily. Then he popped the tab on his drink before guzzling half of it.

"Did you feed the dog?" he asked Cuddy.

"As soon as I got home," she replied, nodding.

"Rachel sleeping I take it," he inquired next.

"Yes. She… missed you though," Cuddy informed him.

House smiled slightly at that but set his pop can down to take Evie into her room for a diaper change.

Cuddy followed him, stroking Evie's brow as the baby sucked and bit on the teething ring while House grabbed a pair of pajamas from a drawer. "I remember quite a few sleepless nights when Rachel was teething," Cuddy murmured.

House glanced at her but focused on changing Evie's diaper and getting her into her pajamas, giving Cuddy a small nod to indicate he'd heard her.

Deciding to get it over with, he said, "My mom's coming at the end of the month for a visit."

Cuddy looked up at him, her eyes wide. She didn't really know what to say so she just nodded.

"It'll just be for the weekend," House added, lifting Evie back up, throwing her clothes in the hamper and the diaper in the trash before heading back to the kitchen to make her a bottle.

"Do you want me to hold her for you?" Cuddy offered.

"She'll just cry," House replied, shaking his head.

"Can I… try anyways?" she asked.

House glanced at her but gave her the baby, hoping Rachel would sleep through Evie's tantrum.

He was right in that Evie did immediately start crying, Cuddy catching the teething ring before it could fall to the floor. Cuddy adjusted the baby in her arms and rocked her, murmuring to her, but Evie didn't quiet back down until a few minutes after House took her again.

"Is your mom going to stay here?" Cuddy queried finally.

House looked up at her from where he was trying to get Evie to accept her bottle unsuccessfully. "No. I'll have her stay in a hotel. There's another bedroom downstairs but it's not furnished yet and… I'm not crazy enough to think it's a good idea to have her stay this time round."

"How does she feel about the fact that I'm staying here with you and Evie?" Cuddy couldn't help asking, already nervous about the visit.

"She doesn't know yet," House replied, offering Evie her teething ring again.

"You haven't told her?" she asked in surprise.

"You and Rachel haven't even been here a week," he pointed out.

"But when did she tell you she was coming?" Cuddy queried.

"Today," House said with a shrug.

"But… she knows that I'm… involved now, doesn't she?" she inquired, biting her lip as she waited for his response.

House wouldn't meet her gaze. He turned and reached for his pop, drinking some more. After a moment he quietly admitted, "I haven't told her."

Cuddy stared at him, not knowing what to think of that. It wasn't like she expected that House talked to his mother all that often. Still, now that Evie was in existence, she hardly imagined he talked to her as infrequently as he used to. Grandchildren just changed things. And… this was big. Why would he hide this from his mother?

Hesitantly she asked, "Why not?"

"It just… wasn't all that important," he replied dismissively, glancing at her briefly.

Hearing that hurt. It hurt more than she thought it could.

"It's not important that I'm involved now?" Cuddy asked, her voice breaking.

He looked at her and instantly muttered, "Don't."

But it was too late as the tears started falling.

House shook his head impatiently and in frustration pronounced, "That wasn't what I meant. I meant my mother knowing was not important."

"But why?" she pressed tremulously, wiping her cheeks of moisture as she blinked rapidly to suppress any more tears from falling.

"I kind of had _enough _on my plate without having to get my mother's opinion or consensus as to what was happening in my life, Cuddy," he moodily declared.

She looked at him but then nodded and walked around him to head for the bathroom. He didn't bother to watch her go, too aggravated with the situation. Cuddy was just going to have to deal with the fact that her return hadn't just affected _her_ life. It wasn't that he hadn't intended to _eventually _tell his mother. It just hadn't been the most important thing on his mind. He had put it aside to deal with how this would affect his kid and to sort through all the logistics involved. On top of that, he hadn't been sure _how _to explain it and he hadn't been interested in immediately hearing his mother's reaction.

Glancing at Monster, he noted the puppy was asleep and determined to let sleeping dogs lie. House drank the rest of his Coke and threw the can in the trash before hitting the light switch, grabbing Evie's bottle to take it with them back into his bedroom. They'd both sleep better tonight if she just camped out with him.

House opened the door to his bedroom and stepped within, not bothering to look in the direction of the main bathroom or wait for Cuddy to come out. If she wanted an apology, she wasn't going to get one. This was one of those things he couldn't apologize for. Closing the door behind him, he sat down on his bed and grabbed the remote from his bedside table before flipping the TV on, the volume on low. He adjusted Evie in his arms and tried again with the bottle, this time convincing her to drink it.

He felt like he was going in circles. That's what life with Cuddy consisted of and would continue to consist of. Circles. How long could you limp around in the same one before you wanted to either stand still or walk away?

-----

"_**When you were languishing in rooms I built to file you in  
And when the wind set down in funnel form and pulled you in**_

_**I don't need to walk around in circles  
Walk around in circles, walk around in circles  
Walk around in...  
Don't need to walk around in circles  
Walk around in circles, walk around in circles  
Walk around in...**_

_**When the ghostly dust of violence traces everything  
And when the gas runs out just wreck it and you insured the thing**_

_**I don't need to walk around in circles  
Walk around in circles, walk around in circles  
Walk around in...  
Don't need to walk around in circles  
Walk around in circles, walk around in circles  
Walk around in...**_

_**(Doom da doom da doom  
What I'm doing, I'm doing) [x4]**_

_**But I can't sigh now that you made the move  
It has gone and gone to dogs, lay down on the floor  
For the right price I can get everything  
Slip into the car, go driving to the farthest star**_

_**I don't need to walk around in circles  
Walk-a, in circles, walk around in circles  
Walk around in-a...  
Don't need to walk around in circles  
Walk around in circles, walk around in circles  
Walk around in...**_

_**Don't need to walk around in circles  
Walk around in circles, walk around in circles  
Walk around in..."**_

* * *

Song: "Circles" (Soul Coughing)


	75. Underneath Your Clothes

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Come on guys, don't get TOO excited about the title! You KNOW they aren't anywhere NEAR that point. Well, you know that if you actually understand the story. :) Sorry I'm later today - and that the chapter is shorter. I'm doubting you'll get an update at all tomorrow but who knows?)_

* * *

May 12th, 2011

Cuddy woke up the next morning and did her morning regime, her thoughts swirling around the night before. The smell of coffee wafted up the stairs and after peeking in on Rachel, she headed down to grab a cup before she'd have to wake her oldest daughter up and get her ready for the day.

House was in the kitchen in a t-shirt and pajama pants making an omelet, Evie awake on his shoulder, busily chomping on one fist, drool running off it and dribbling slightly down the back of House's shirt.

"Aren't you going to the gym today?" Cuddy asked as she reached into the cupboard and pulled down a mug, unable to keep her eyes from flitting back to him time and again.

House shook his head. "Princess Grumps-A-Lot here is still cranky this morning. Thought I might as well make myself breakfast. You hungry?"

Cuddy filled her coffee mug and then approached them, standing behind House and brushing Evie's hair from her forehead before leaning in and pressing a kiss to the baby's cheek. "Thanks but I can't if I'm going to be at work on-time."

House nodded, not looking at her, his attention on flipping his omelet.

Cuddy bit her lip but took a deep breath and murmured, "If you want me and Rachel to move out while your mother's here, we could. We wouldn't have to take all our stuff with us. We could just… lock it up or something…" she trailed off.

He shot her a look over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised. "Why would I want that?"

"I don't know," she mumbled, glancing down at the floor. "If it makes it easier for you…"

"I'm _going _to tell her, Cuddy," he muttered.

She looked up at him and said, "I know. I'm just saying if it's easier for you… we could."

"That's not what I want. And I'm not putting Evie's progress with you on hold or risking a setback for my mother's visit. My mother can stay in a hotel. She'll be fine. You don't have to go anywhere," House replied, turning the stove off before carrying the frying pan carefully over to the island and his waiting plate, flipping it over and dumping the omelet there.

Cuddy stared at him a moment, trying to figure out what exactly she should interpret "That's not what I want" to mean. She wondered what he _did_ want. Instead of asking, she nodded. "Okay."

Walking to the cabinet, she retrieved a glass and headed for the fridge. "Do you want milk or orange juice?" she asked.

House looked at her in surprise but replied, "Orange juice."

She poured him a glass and then set it down by him.

"Thanks," he mumbled, slightly confused by her decision to… serve him.

"Has Evie had a bottle yet?" she asked next.

"I was going to make her one after this," House admitted, taking a bite of his omelet where he stood at the island.

Cuddy went to work making it and brought it over once it was ready, standing to the side of him with her back to the island to offer it to Evie once he'd adjusted her in his arms. Evie accepted it, drinking away, and Cuddy's eyes went from the baby to House as he ate.

"You smell good," she said after several minutes _and_ before she could stop herself, blushing slightly upon hearing herself voice that thought.

House looked at her in disbelief. "I haven't showered, dressed, or put on any cologne. How in the world do I smell good?"

Cuddy bit her lip, unsuccessful in hiding a small smile. Looking away she murmured, "I don't know. You just… do. I… like the way you smell."

House scoffed his incredulity but then sobered, his eyes going to Cuddy before dropping to the baby. She looked up at him and instantly recognized the look on his face. Sometimes she wondered if his genius _knew _when to kick in and spare him having to deal with awkward moments. Not that she minded so much right now, since it was _her _awkward moment this involved.

"Solve the case?" she asked wryly.

House looked at her and realized she was referring to his patient. "No," he answered, his expression thoughtful. "But if you have no objection to smelling like me, I think I have an idea of something we can try with Evie."

Cuddy gazed at him in confusion but waited for him to explain. She momentarily wished she could pull a _House_ and suggestively ask what he had in mind, but now _wasn't _the time.

"When she was only days old and wanted to be held around the clock, there were times when I had to put her down to get something done. It helped if I wrapped her in whatever t-shirt I'd been wearing the day before. If you like my smell so much," he dryly commented, "You could wear one of my shirts and see if she'll be more responsive to letting you hold her _without me_ while smelling _like me_."

Cuddy couldn't suppress the smile that blossomed on her face but all the same, she did her best to nonchalantly say, "It's worth a shot anyway."

House looked at the baby, studying Evie a moment before nodding. "It just might work," he said more to himself that Cuddy.

Looking up at the clock he informed her, "You're going to be late."

Cuddy glanced in the direction he was looking and saw that he was right. "Evie's half done," she said, deciding she didn't care if she was a little late.

House looked at her skeptically but shrugged. Several minutes later Evie finished the bottle and House, having already polished off his omelet, placed her on his shoulder to burp while Cuddy set the bottle in the sink before returning to his side to press another kiss to Evie's cheek, murmuring, "Mommy loves you."

House's eyes locked on her in bewilderment, positive it was the first time he'd heard those words pass her lips.

She squeezed House's arm in passing and said, "I've got to get Rachel up but in case we don't see you before heading out, have a good day at work, House."

But House caught her arm and she quickly came to a halt, turning back to look at him in surprise. He was staring at her, searching her face, and Cuddy wasn't sure what had just happened but she waited in confusion for him to speak.

House opened his mouth and grappled for words unsuccessfully. He needed to know she meant it. That she wasn't just saying that glibly. That she _loved _his kid.

"What?" she asked softly, moving back towards him, her eyes searching his in concern.

He dropped his hand but gruffly asked, "Do you mean that?"

"What?" she repeated, confused by his question.

"You… you _love _her? Or are you just saying that because it's what mothers say to their kids?" House pressed uncertainly.

Cuddy's head lolled back with a slight jerk but then she tilted her head to the side, her eyes growing moist as she looked at House's expression. He appeared to be bracing himself to hear her acknowledge she'd just been saying it and that cut her like a razorblade, not because he questioned it, well, maybe in part because he questioned it, though not because his questioning it hurt her; mostly it cut because in his eyes she could still see hope written there, even if he was working hard to suppress it. Looking at Evie, she came even closer to the two of them and caressed her daughter's cheek before meeting House's gaze again. "I'm not just saying it. I do love her, House," she replied gently. "How couldn't I?"

He didn't say anything but she watched as he swallowed hard and her other hand came up, almost settling on his chest, but at the last moment she stopped herself, something within her cautioning her to be careful to not cross lines or blur the edges between something revolving around Evie and something revolving around House. Dropping her hand, she hesitated just a second before leaning towards him to kiss Evie's forehead before turning to head upstairs and wake Rachel up.

House watched her go, a protective band around his heart regarding Evie loosening its hold several degrees.

* * *

"Do you care if I do some laundry?" Cuddy asked as she and Rachel came into the house that night, Rachel running to House and wrapping herself around his good leg.

House chuckled at how Rachel sat down, forcing him to walk with her there. Looking up at Cuddy, he said, "No. The detergent is in the cabinet above the washer."

"Thanks," she replied. "Where's Evie?"

"Sleeping," he responded. "Now that her tooth broke through."

Cuddy nodded. "I brought dinner, if you're hungry."

House snatched the bag from her, causing Cuddy to roll her eyes, but she watched with amusement as he ransacked it to determine what she'd brought home. She followed behind him a moment as he hobbled with Rachel in the direction of the kitchen, Rachel giggling.

"This is much more of a challenge for a cripple," House muttered, a hand out on the wall to balance himself.

"Then tell her to let go," Cuddy said pointedly as she detoured around him to go in Evie's room and check on her. "You're the one indulging her."

House didn't, liking it, and knowing that Rachel would release him once they got in the kitchen and Monster came into view.

* * *

Cuddy was in the living room on the floor with the girls later that night when House came in the room with a bottle and chucked a balled-up t-shirt her way.

"Great, thanks," she sarcastically replied when it hit her in the face because she wasn't expecting it.

House smirked but only nodded, settling down on the floor with the girls while she got up and headed for the bathroom to change into it.

She rolled her eyes when she unfolded it to see it was his shirt from this morning, the drool mark on the back of the shoulder dry but still visible after formula had been added to it in burping Evie earlier. "_Nice,"_ she dryly mumbled to herself. But she removed her shirt to pull his on all the same, turning to look at herself in the mirror and fix her hair before heading for the door. Smiling softly to herself, she paused before opening the door so that she could pull it up slightly and bury her nose in it, inhaling deeply before biting her lip and straightening the shirt once more, her heart swelling in what was most definitely happiness.

House looked up at her when she entered the living room and asked, "Ready to try this?"

She nodded and sat down beside him as he reached for Evie. After passing the baby to her, he grabbed the bottle and put it in Evie's mouth to give her something to focus on. She kept an eye on him but she did drink the bottle without protest.

The dryer buzzed and House said, "Time to test the theory," pushing himself up to his feet to leave.

"You can throw the clothes in the laundry basket," Cuddy called after him as he left the room.

Evie saw him go and instantly released her hold on the bottle to cry. Thinking fast, Cuddy adjusted her slightly, cradling Evie's head closer into the t-shirt. Evie cried regardless for a moment but after taking several deep breaths, she did actually calm down somewhat, enough so as to allow Cuddy to put the bottle awkwardly back in her mouth, stroking the side of her head gently. Evie began to drink once more. Every thirty seconds or so, the bottle would pop out of Evie's mouth and she'd burrow her face into Cuddy's chest for a moment before latching back onto the bottle.

House came back into the room ten minutes later, leaning in the entryway as he looked at them, having placed Cuddy's laundry on the steps and taken Monster outside in the time he was gone. Cookie Monster came running in behind him, tripping over his feet, and Rachel beckoned the puppy into her lap, patting his head.

"What are you smiling about?" House couldn't help asking Cuddy.

She looked up at him, her eyes twinkling with humor. "You left and I didn't think it was going to work because she saw you go and started crying."

House nodded, having been aware of Evie's cries.

"But you were right. Once she registered your scent, she quieted. Evie's drinking her bottle without fussing and just stops a couple times a minute to press her nose into your shirt. Go figure I have your child and she's born knowing how to self-medicate," Cuddy teased.

House rolled his eyes but smirked, pushing off the wall to sit back down on the floor, pulling Rachel into his lap.

* * *

May 14th, 2011

"Not going to wear one of my shirts today?" House asked Cuddy as he sat at the dining room table Saturday morning finishing Evie's breakfast with her, Rachel eating pancakes beside him while Cuddy put dishes in the dishwasher. The t-shirt thing had worked surprisingly well for them since Thursday night. House had been surprised by _just _how wellit worked.

She glanced over at him and smiled but then turned somber before going back to what she was doing and quietly responding, "Wilson's coming over, right? He's got enough against me at the moment. I _hardly _think he'd appreciate me wearing one of your shirts, even if it is effective with Evie."

House stared at her, processing her words. "What did Wilson say to you?" he finally asked, mostly out of curiosity.

Cuddy reached under the sink for the dishwasher detergent and mumbled, "Nothing I didn't deserve to hear."

His eyes widened at that admission. He studied her profile a minute and then inquired, "Since when do you care what people think?"

She gave him a skeptical look and he amended his question. "_Alright, _since when do you let what people think determine your _attire?_"

She gave him a small smile and laughed, even if she knew he was being serious and not taunting her over the way she dressed for work as he used to, which honestly, she'd welcome because at least she'd know he _noticed _what she wore these days. She shrugged as she started up the dishwasher and just replied to say, "I'll have time later in the day to hold Evie."

They heard the front door open and House said, "That'll be him," before directing his gaze to the entryway.

Wilson walked into the room a few moments later. "Hey House, Rachel, Cuddy," he greeted before heading for Evie who was already waving her hands excitedly and babbling.

"Hey, Wilson," Cuddy replied, the only one to acknowledge his greeting.

House unbuckled Evie and dryly said, "She's done," before Wilson pulled her free.

"How's my niecie-poo?" he declared in a silly voice, as he rubbed his nose against her spine, getting her to shriek and chortle.

House rolled his eyes and muttered, "Can you _not _talk to George like she's a sickeningly sweet puppy?"

Cuddy looked at House, her forehead knitting together. "Did you just call her George?" she asked disbelievingly.

Wilson looked from Cuddy to House and back to Cuddy. "Ho ho," Wilson began somewhat smugly. "Are you telling me that he's _never _called her _George_ around you?!"

"Come on," House interrupted, "Cuddy hasn't even been in the picture that long. She's _not_ a reliable source of information."

But Cuddy had already wordlessly shaken her head and Wilson looked back to House with an expression declaring he'd just been caught and tilted his head to the side, House already huffing out a breath in exasperation. "You _do just _call her George to _irritate me,_ don't you?" Wilson demanded.

"You make it sound like this is news to you," House dryly replied, his eyes narrowed.

Cuddy smiled. _This _was a side of House she knew, the one who did things to intentionally irritate his best friend. She was glad to see him make an appearance.

Wilson rolled his eyes but then turned his attention back to Evie in his arms.

"Daddy, can we go outside?" Rachel asked.

"Sure kid," he replied, getting up to help her down from her chair.

Wilson looked from Rachel to House, his expression one of stunned disbelief. "Did she just call you…?"

Cuddy looked at Wilson and then at House. She'd become so used to Rachel calling House daddy that half the time it didn't register. But that didn't mean everyone else was aware of who Rachel had decided House was.

"Yep," he replied casually, not reacting in the slightest to Wilson's question as he headed over and lifted Cookie Monster out of his pen. House then limped in the direction of the porch, opening the door for Rachel and Monster before looking back at them. "You guys coming or staying inside?"

"I'm going to wash Rachel's dishes and then I'll be out," Cuddy said. Wilson was already following after him.

"Why? My cleaning lady will be here soon. She can do them," House pointed out.

"There's not much _to do_," Cuddy replied. "And besides, now that there are four people living here AND a puppy, I imagine she'll have her hands full."

House shrugged. "Suit yourself," he said before heading out.

She watched them go outside, wondering if Rachel's use of "daddy" would trigger a reaction in Wilson. But when she moved to the window, helpless to not try and find out, the two of them were talking and laughing, perfectly at ease with one another. While things had been great between her and House the last 48 plus hours, she still hoped one day she'd share something with him like what he found with Wilson. _Okay,_ that _sounded _disturbing, she couldn't help acknowledging to herself. She definitely did not want a "bromance". But right now, it _was _enticing. It was more than _she_ had.

* * *

Wilson had just walked out the door when Cuddy turned to House and seriously said, "Okay. I need one of your t-shirts."

House chuckled wryly and then got up. But he hadn't taken two steps before he stopped and turned back to her. "Gerta did my laundry. I don't have any dirty ones for you to wear," he admitted, almost apologetically.

She looked disappointed for a minute but then met his eyes, suddenly happy, and held her hand out, palm up before demanding, "Give me the one you have on."

House looked at her incredulously and scoffed. "You _aren't_ serious," he replied dryly.

"I _AM,"_ she asserted, nodding. "Give it to me. You have plenty of other shirts to wear."

House rolled his eyes but muttered, "Fine," before turning to leave the room.

She dropped her hand, there being no point to having it outstretched now, and disappointed that he hadn't just whipped it off for her right then. The image of him half-naked would have _at least _been _something_ she could dwell on later when she was alone. Realizing she was pouting and there were footsteps in the hall, she quickly wiped the expression from her face and got to her feet to take his shirt when he turned the corner and held it out to her.

"_Thank you_," she pronounced with relish as she accepted his still warm shirt from him and slipped past him to go change.

House shook his head but entered the living room, sitting down at the piano, Rachel quickly climbing up into his lap.

Cuddy came back a few minutes later and scooped Evie up from the floor, holding her close. Evie looked up into her face, glanced at her daddy, and then turned back to watch Cuddy before placing a finger in her own mouth and babbling. Cuddy tucked Evie's hair back and wrapped her arms snuggly around the baby's back, finding herself _unbelievably happy _to have this t-shirt thing work, be able to hold her daughter, and, as she started talking back to the baby, to _interact_ with her without having Evie reject her. House… was a _genius_. If there wasn't a serious danger of his head exploding afterwards, she'd _definitely_ sing his praises right about now. And maybe within a few days, Evie would let her hold her _without _the t-shirt, though Cuddy was honestly, not about to complain about having an excuse to have something clinging to her skin that smelled like him.

The thing was, while Cuddy had no doubt that the t-shirt _had_ made a difference, she _also_ thought it was the fact that House had relaxed slightly around her since Thursday morning that had their daughter more open to accepting Cuddy's presence. She really was convinced Evie was responding just as much to House's mood change as to the t-shirt. The two of them, father _and _daughter, were obviously resolutely and indelibly linked together. They'd only had each other the first six months of Evie's life, which wasn't _quite _true because House clearly _had_ built up his support group in the last year and a half, but all the same… And the only thing she could come up with as an explanation for House's alteration of disposition and demeanor was what she'd said two mornings ago in acknowledging that she _did _love Evie. And _that_ made her wonder how he'd react if she told him she… loved _him_. The only problem was that she didn't think he'd believe her yet. Too, there was also the problem of Erika standing in her way. Cuddy leaned in and pressed a kiss to the baby's cheek before rubbing her nose against Evie's, the baby blinking rapidly in response but otherwise not reacting. Perhaps if she could figure out where Erika and House stood exactly, she could figure out how to approach telling him how she felt about him. She decided that was Monday night's goal; to do some digging and get a better understanding of the relationship between House and Erika. Sitting down on the couch, she adjusted Evie in her lap and bounced her on her knees, her heart stopping when Evie started smiling and giggling for her for the _very first time ever._ House glanced their way, giving Cuddy a smile after looking at Evie that, once her heart did start beating again, did nothing to regulate its erratic beat.

* * *

House stood in the doorway to Evie's room and rolled his eyes at Cuddy when she looked up at him, giving him a dazzling smile that was alarming in how it did funny things to his gut.

"I tucked Rachel into bed but she's waiting for you to come up and kiss her goodnight," he said before sarcastically muttering, "So put the kid in the crib already. You've been holding her all day long and she's been out cold for the last hour."

She shot him a dirty look and demanded, "And how did _you_ feel the first time Evie laughed _for you, _knowing that _you _were responsible for that bubble of joy leaving her lips?! You probably didn't want to put her down either."

House's mouth quirked. He was actually quite pleased for her and even more pleased by the way she was reacting to it, even if he wasn't about to admit that to her. "Daughter. Waiting. Upstairs," House reminded stoically.

Sighing, Cuddy got up from the rocking chair and placed the baby in her crib, House having earlier changed Evie's diaper and put her into pajamas after sending Cuddy off to make her bottle so that he'd _at least_ get to hold her for a _few _minutes. She tucked the blankets over the baby while House clicked on her nightlight before turning on the baby monitor.

Cuddy paused in the doorway to look at him. "Are you going to stay in here?" she asked skeptically.

"You _hogged_ my kid all day," he finally griped, causing Cuddy to laugh.

Before House knew her intentions she'd taken the few steps required to be alongside him and wrapped her arms around him in an embrace, House freezing where he stood, his eyes widening in shock.

"Thank you for sharing," she murmured. "_And_ for coming up with the shirt idea," she added, finally releasing him before giving him another smile and slipping out of the room.

He watched her go, not even knowing _how_ to react to what she'd just done. Shaking himself, he turned back to Evie, reaching in the crib to smooth the blankets over her once more before stroking her cheek affectionately.

* * *

Cuddy took a shower that night and then brushed her teeth, preparing for bed before grabbing underwear from her drawer and pulling House's t-shirt back on. Throwing the sheets back on her bed, she retrieved her laptop to check her e-mail before crawling into bed.

She'd hesitantly asked House to take pictures of her with the girls to send to her mother and he had agreed without giving her _any_ crap about it. What had _amazed _her even more was the fact that he hadn't protested when she'd pleaded with him to set the timer on the camera and get one of the four of them. She was only too thrilled to find he'd already e-mailed the pictures off to her mom, copying her on the e-mail. Downloading the attachments, she clicked through the pictures one by one. Looking through them she decided today _had _tobe one of the _best _days she'd had in _months._ But it was the last one, their _family _shot, which made Cuddy's head fall back against the pillow in ecstasy. In the picture Rachel was sitting in House's lap, her head reclined against his chest, a cheesy smile on her face, while Evie sat in Cuddy's lap, chomping on her fist, a half-smile on what you could see of her lips due to House tickling her and causing her to squirm. _No one _would call the expression on House's face a smile, though she supposed it could pass for an annoyed smirk of some sort, in getting his picture taken. BUT the look on her own face _definitely _classified as a smile. Cuddy had to laugh at herself because she looked so utterly enraptured with the moment that it literally hurt her face just to _think _of smiling like that.

Tugging the collar of House's t-shirt up so that she could once more bury her nose in the lingering yet faint smell of him, she jerked it enough to ensure it would stay in place before she returned her attention to the picture, making it her screensaver, the index finger of her left hand tracing over him while she placed her right hand over her heart. She thought of all the little details about him; even the intimate ones that she had committed to memory. As her gaze ran over his image before her, she thought about every injury she'd seen his body take and the scars they'd left behind, those visible and those hidden beneath his clothes; the faint scar from the bullet piercing his jugular when that man had entered his office and shot him twice, the scars from the other bullet he'd taken, its point of entry on his abdomen and exit on his back, even the jagged scar she'd played a role in him receiving, the one marking the damage done to his thigh following his infarction. She could only _imagine_ the scars she'd _never_ see; the invisible ones that were within. Some had certainly been received at her hand, just as she had scars that had come from his. And yet… this man… _this_ man had her _thoroughly_ smitten with him, all over again. She remembered that seventeen year old clinic patient who had been infatuated with him several years back and how she'd felt compelled to confront him for indulging the girl's obsessive ways, partly because it _was _inappropriate and okay, partly out of jealousy, because House was… hers. Had always been hers. Cuddy smiled at the memory of him informing her, "_It was a medical exam. I was listening to her heart. It went, 'Greg-House, Greg-House, Greg-House._'" Right now, from under his t-shirt, her heart was doing the same. Greg-House. Greg-House. Greg-House. Cuddy wondered as she shut her laptop and set it aside, reaching to turn off the lights, if House had _any _idea just how much he owned the spot under his t-shirt that her hand was still covering. She wondered if he ever would.

-----

"_**You're a song  
Written by the hands of God  
Don't get me wrong  
'Cause this might sound to you a bit odd  
But you own the place  
Where all my thoughts go hiding  
And right under your clothes  
Is where I'll find them**_

_**Underneath your clothes  
There's an endless story  
There's the man I chose  
There's my territory  
And all the things I deserve  
For being such a good girl honey**_

_**'Cause of you  
I forgot the smart ways to lie  
Because of you  
I'm running out of reasons to cry  
When the friends are gone  
When the party's over  
We will still belong  
To each other**_

_**Underneath your clothes  
There's an endless story  
There's the man I chose  
There's my territory  
And all the things I deserve  
For being such a good girl honey**_

_**Underneath your clothes  
There's an endless story  
There's the man I chose  
There's my territory  
And all the things I deserve  
For being such a good girl**_

_**For being such a aay aay aay aaaaayy ahhh**_

_**I love you more than all  
That's on the planet  
Movin', talkin', walkin', breathin'  
You know it's true  
Oh baby it's so funny  
You almost don't believe it  
As every voice is hanging from the silence  
Lamps are hanging from the ceiling  
Like a lady tied to her manners  
I'm tied up to this feeling**_

_**Underneath your clothes  
There's an endless story  
There's the man I chose  
There's my territory  
And all the things I deserve  
For being such a good girl honey**_

_**Underneath your clothes  
Wah-oh, oh, oh, oh  
There's the man I chose  
There's my territory  
And all the things I deserve  
For being such a good girl  
For being such a good girl  
Yeah"**_

* * *

Song: "Underneath Your Clothes" (Shakira)


	76. Broken Strings

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Thanks GregGles for the song recommendation!!!)_

_(Okay, so I REALLY screwed up and I hate myself for doing this (I'm betting less than a handful of you would have noticed on your own anyway) but right now we're going to depart from factual information and shove Mother's Day, 2011 back a week because I checked the 2011 calendar too late. Sorry! I COULD just go back and alter the chapter for May 8th, adding it in there, BUT that means those who are current with the story have to go back and read it, I have to try and make it fit in, and… that just makes my mistake MORE irritating all around. Plus, I think it would be more complicated than just adding a day in. On top of that, it wouldn't be as nice a day last week as it can be this one. I could ALSO have House just ignore it (and let's face it, he's not exactly a Hallmark guy), but if it's past already, then Cuddy didn't have any reaction at all to him NOT celebrating it. And Cuddy WOULD care. She'd at least cry about it. :) Even if she WAS busy moving in. So THEN, my next option is to ignore both Mother's Day and Father's Day, but… how do I pull that off? I'm bound to have a handful of people demanding my head. :) So, bringing my rant to an end, I've concluded this is my best bet. NOW I've made an even bigger issue of my screw-up than if I HADN'T mentioned it at all and certainly more than most of you will care about, especially those in other countries where Mother's Day is celebrated on a completely different schedule than that of the U.S., BUT, alas, what's a girl to do? Besides, this chapter isn't exactly as happy as the last one so you might as well have a taste of happy while you can.)_

* * *

May 15th, 2011

House woke up Sunday morning long before he had any reason to be up and well before Evie would stir. He lay there, staring at the ceiling, thinking about _what exactly_ his intentions were for this day, because in all honesty, he was _not _the type of guy who paid muchattention to holidays. The _only _reason he had ever paid attention to holidays B.E.B. (_Before Evie's Birth), _which even then had only occurred in a particularly random fashion, was because in those times, _someone else_ made a fuss and House just got dragged along for the ride. Now, A.E.B. (_After Evie's Birth)_, he _did _tend to recognize them in one way or another, but only ever for _Evie's_ sake. Yet today was definitely not about Evie. Well, while Mother's Day _did _in fact have _quite a bit _to do with Evie, logic pointed out that _this _was more about Cuddy than his kid. And that, for him, only served to complicate things. Because what was _he_ supposed to do?! And what did Cuddy _expect?_

He tried to remember the last time he'd bought his _own _mother a Mother's Day card. Reality was, he couldn't remember. He'd _always _called, but he'd _never _really gone to the trouble of getting her a card. Earlier in the week he'd taken Evie from daycare on his lunch break, heading with her to Target to search the card aisles. House _hated _card aisles. He hated _cards. _And in this particular situation, he felt especially out of his element. For the first time in a long time, he _did _get his mom a card, though it was mainly from Evie. He also had no problem picking one out for Evelyn. But when it came to Cuddy's card, he'd really found himself scratching his head. It wasn't like they were in a relationship where he'd have any reason to buy her some lovey-dovey, sickeningly sweet, gag reflex-inducing card. And he imagined even if they were, it _still _wouldn't be something he'd choose. That was _not _his thing. Therefore, it was easy enough to dismiss the cards focusing on being from the father's perspective. And honestly, he thought this was a lifesaver in itself as Cuddy had only been in the picture since the beginning of April and _that _cancelled out 98% of the cards _from _fathers because the majority spoke about all they'd shared together and other crap along those lines. So it was a _relief_ to turn to the section devoted to cards _only_ for mothers from their kids, his selection even further narrowed down by the fact that he was looking for a card from a child and moreover in that he had both Evie and Rachel to represent. Surprisingly, in the end he chose _two _cards, having an easier time selecting one appropriate to Rachel and then another specific to Evie, than one covering the both of them appropriately.

So, he'd had the cards covered; the ones to his mother and Evelyn already in the mail. Check. But what else was expected of him regarding Cuddy? Or more specifically, what was he expected to do on the girls behalf? That had been his next dilemma while yet inside the store. And because it was only logical, it was not hard for House to accept that a gift was the next item to cross off his list. But what kind of gift? Flowers he dismissed automatically. Cuddy would either laugh outright or she'd get the wrong idea and think he was hitting on her. No thanks. Jewelry, definitely not. Men onlybought women jewelry when they were sleeping with them or wished they were, unless of course the woman was your mother. There was that _one _exception. A gift. A gift, a gift, a gift. And then with quite _a lot _of relief, House figured he had it covered. What Cuddy really _didn't _have was pictures of Evie. Oh, he'd given her access to his, but as far as he knew, she hadn't printed any off yet. On the other hand, House had _a bazillion _pictures courtesy of the nurse in Evie's first hours of life, Cameron, Wilson, Evelyn; even from his own efforts to photograph Evie's existence. More importantly and quite unbeknownst to Cuddy, he still had the first picture he'd ever taken of _both _girls together, that morning when he'd been at Cuddy's while Rachel was recovering from food poisoning. Admittedly, it wasn't the happiest of memories to trigger for _her, _but that didn't take away from the picture's worth. Without having to question it, he _knew _the photograph would be something Cuddy would appreciate, and as his phone had come equipped with a decent camera, the quality wasn't too shabby. After picking out a nice frame and printing the picture, House figured he had the gift thing covered.

Therefore, House's concern as he lay in bed had nothing to do with cards or gifts. It had more to do with the fact that he just didn't know what _else _was expected. He finally shoved the covers aside and climbed from his bed, heading to take a shower before getting ready for the day. He _wasn't _going to bring her breakfast in bed. That would be… out of his comfort zone. But he didn't have a _problem _with _making_ her breakfast.

* * *

Cuddy woke up Sunday morning and got ready for the day ahead of her before heading to Rachel's room. Surprisingly, Rachel wasn't within. Cuddy might have panicked at that, if not for the fact that only seconds after seeing the gate to the stairwell was open she could make out Rachel's voice coming from downstairs.

Cuddy headed down, her nose leading the way as the aroma of a freshly made pot of coffee wafted towards her. But she had barely stepped foot into the dining room when she came to a sudden halt.

"Happy Mommy's Day!" Rachel shouted from where she sat at the table, rising up on her knees and throwing her hands up in the air the minute Cuddy came into view.

Cuddy looked at her in surprise, not having expected her to even know what day it was, let alone greet her so enthusiastically. She then looked at Evie who was banging a spoon noisily against her highchair, babbling away, before it dawned on her that the table was laden with more breakfast items than she'd ever seen it covered with. Her eyes then fell on House as he entered from the kitchen with a picture of freshly-squeezed orange juice.

"Happy Mother's Day, Cuddy," he calmly said as he set the pitcher down on the table.

Mother's Day hadn't even been on her thoughts in the moments since waking up. But apparently, the occasion had been in House's. He'd clearly explained to Rachel what day it was and he'd… he'd even gone so far as to wish her a happy Mother's Day, not to mention making breakfast all by himself, though she wouldn't doubt he'd allowed Rachel to help, if you could count what a two year old threw into the mix as help.

Cuddy's heart melted into a mess of emotions, pooling in her eyes and reflected within. She moistened her lips and then worked to swallow the lump in her throat before managing to mumble a soft, "Thank you," blinking back tears.

He nodded and pointed her to her seat. And that was when she spotted the gift bag. She pulled the chair out and sat down next to Rachel, her eyes wide as she glanced from House to the gift bag. But he was in the process of sitting down and failed to notice what had caught her eye.

House took his seat next to Evie's highchair so that he could feed her, first dishing up a plate for Rachel and setting it down for her so that she wouldn't have to wait. At that point it registered that the rest of the world _probably _would have served Cuddy first on Mother's Day, but the woman had two hands and when he looked her way, had already started to serve herself so he figured Cuddy knew enough _not _to expect that would occur to him.

They ate, Rachel sharing how much she _LOVED _pancakes and rattling off questions for Cuddy to answer while Evie babbled; House, not really knowing what else there was to say, focused on cleaning his plate while also feeding the baby. Every few seconds Cuddy would surreptitiously shoot a look his way, both because she was so surprised by his actions this morning and because she was decidedly curious about what the gift bag contained. Sure she'd _hoped _he'd acknowledge the holiday in some small way, but for House, this was… above and beyond surpassing her expectations.

House realized Cuddy's concentration was not on breakfast and then saw her eyes flit to the gift bag before they met his. "You can open it, you know," he said with a shrug, lifting a spoonful of baby food to Evie's lips.

Cuddy looked back at the gift bag and then picked up her napkin and wiped her mouth before glancing back to him. Only then did she reach for it. House was a little embarrassed to be present for this. He wasn't big on giving gifts but he was even more opposed to being present when they were received. If a gift went over well, there was drama. If it didn't, things always turned awkward. Either way, _he _ended up uncomfortable. That was why it was so much better to _not _give _anything._

Cuddy bit her lip and pulled out the cards lying on top, opening the first one, a card with a puppy dog that House had penned in, "Cookie Monster" on the dog tag. She read its little rhyme and then smiling tenderly at Rachel's scribbling inside, the outline of her hand, and within it, House's handwriting where he'd printed Rachel's name.

Rachel happily pointed to the card and waved her hand about, exclaiming, "See mommy? Cookie Monster! So _cute!_ And my hand!"

"I see that, Rachel! Thank you so much!" Cuddy replied, sniffing.

Rachel bobbed her head happily and Cuddy looked at House, her lips quirking in a funny smile before she turned to the second card. Again she removed it from the envelope, this time to find a card within that had a chubby-cheeked baby with a cowlick on the front. She read it and flipped it open to find Evie's little hand drawn within, also with Evie's name inside. Cuddy looked at Evie and then her eyes _did _fill with tears, but she wiped them away before they could fall, doing her best to spare House discomfort as he was beginning to look a little nervous. Peeking back in the bag she pushed the tissue paper aside and pulled out a wrapped bundle. Unfolding the tissue paper the gift had been wrapped in, she unveiled a framed picture that she'd never seen before, one of the girls asleep together, Rachel in her pajamas beside Evie who had to have been only weeks old. There was something funny about the picture and it took her a second to place what it was but then she realized the picture was taken with the two girls in _her _house.

"This…" she began, choking up.

"…Was taken when I came over after your trip to the ER," House explained. "Wilson had Evie but she'd woken up in the night and he brought her over because he didn't think she'd fall back to sleep without me. We were… in that phase. When they arrived at the house she had already gone back to sleep in the car but… you were asleep and not about to wake up anytime soon so I kept her and sent Wilson home. I took that on my phone when Rachel woke up in the morning and came out." Turning to Rachel he said, "You were a good helper for dad, kid. You even gave baby G her bottle."

Rachel puffed out her chest and nodded as if she knew what he was talking about, making House chuckle and Cuddy smile with affection.

Returning her attention to House, she said, "Evie was… _so close._"

House understood what she was trying to say and nodded. "You weren't ready yet," he reminded.

Cuddy nodded, though she was clearly saddened at the thought of just how close they'd been to being physically together, location-wise.

He studied her and then asked, "Would it have been better if I included a different photo? I just thought… it was the first picture of the girls and… well, maybe it would have been better to have chosen a different one. I wasn't trying to…"

Cuddy interrupted, adamantly shaking her head. "I LOVE the picture House. I do!" she exclaimed before shrugging and looking down at her lap to more somberly add, "I'm just sad that I… cost myself so many memories that could have been mine."

There wasn't much House could say so he didn't say anything. Cuddy turned to Rachel then, cupping her jaw and pulling her towards her while leaning in, pressing a smacking kiss to her cheek. "Thank you, sweet girl," she murmured.

Pushing her chair back, she got up, going over to Evie to give her a noisy kiss on the cheek as well, wiping baby food from her chin afterwards. "Thank you, baby."

House extended a rag for Cuddy to take and wipe her hands on but she caught him unaware, turning and cupping his face to press a kiss to his cheek. He stared at her wide-eyed, but she just smiled and softly said, "Thank you, House. For the cards and gift and breakfast but mostly, for Evie."

He swallowed hard and then nodded his head almost imperceptibly. Looking away, he gruffly managed to say, "Thanks for giving her to me; for… going through with it."

He knew it was an awkward acknowledgement but it was the best he could do or could imagine _ever_ doing. Cuddy, who hadn't moved away yet, settled her hand on his shoulder just briefly, rubbing him there for a second or two before releasing him to go back and sit down, relieving him of the uncomfortable feeling in his chest in having her too physically close to him.

They finished breakfast in silence and then House did the dishes while Cuddy slipped into a t-shirt he'd placed nearby for her use, returning moments later to hold Evie and take Rachel and Cookie Monster outside while House finished up before briefly calling his mom to wish her a happy Mother's Day.

* * *

May 16th, 2011

Cameron opened her door with Elliot in her arms and smiled at House who was standing there with a case file in his hands.

"You guys _seriously _need to get out of this apartment," House remarked dryly as he limped inside. "It smells like a grease fire about to happen in the hallway outside your neighbor's door. Crack the whip and tell Chase it's either he invest his not so hard-earned PPTH cash in a house or even once you're able to put out, he'll _go without_."

"I can hear you," Chase wryly replied. "Just so you know."

House entered the living room and plopped down on the chair next to the sofa Chase was sitting on. "That's _right_. I _forgot _you took _paternity leave_," House mocked. "_Geesh_, all this crap about equal rights in the workplace! Just another excuse for people to be lazy."

"Well, you're in a snarky mood," Cameron commented, coming to stand beside his chair.

"I seem to recall _you_ took time off to be with _your _kid," Chase pointed out with an eyebrow raised.

"Because I _had _to," House volleyed, as if it hadn't been something he would have _wanted _to do if he'd had a choice. "And not a _paternity leave. _Just used up my PPTH vacation time. Couldn't have it going to waste."

Cameron looked at him and then suspiciously asked, "Did you just come here to harass my husband or is there actually a point to this visit?"

"They've left me with _idiots,_" House complained. "These two doctors I have working underneath me in your absence are _worthless._ I don't even think they're _real _doctors. Give me the kid and I'll give you the case," he bartered.

"I… _think _you just _complimented _me… in a backhanded sort of way," Cameron murmured, bending down to place the baby in his arms before taking the case.

"Yeah well, don't get too used to it," he muttered, adjusting Elliot so that he could see the baby better.

"How long have you had this case?" she inquired.

"Just got it this morning," House replied.

Cameron looked at him skeptically. "You _just _got it today and you're already out of _your own_ ideas? You're already antsy enough to track me down?"

"Like it's really _hard _to track you down," he sardonically retorted.

"He's not out of his own ideas," Chase corrected. "He just needed an excuse to come harass someone who will put up with his crap without running out crying or filing a complaint."

"Actually I just came to make sure your kid hadn't turned into Rosemary's baby," House quipped.

Cameron gave him a dirty look but took a seat next to Chase, who looked over her shoulder curiously as she flipped through the attached medical records and notes. The two of them threw out ideas, House negating the ones that he'd already ruled out and nodding when the idea was worth pursuing. He pulled out his cell phone and rang his office, giving instructions to his temporary minions.

"Why didn't you bring Evie with you?" Cameron asked once she'd set the case aside.

"Because then I'd have no reason to go back in afterwards and make sure these idiots are carrying out my instructions," House replied. "I'd just want to go home."

"It would probably _help _if you didn't insult them while they're working for you," Chase suggested.

"_Come on!_" House scoffed dismissively. "I treated you guys like crap and it was effective. You're here offering me suggestions now, even when you aren't getting financially compensated for it."

Chase pursed his lips and nodded. "You're right. I guess… stick with what you know."

Cameron frowned at him. "_Don't_ encourage him to be mean," she scolded before looking at House and saying, "You haven't actually treated me like crap in a long time. Mocked me. Yes. Insulted me. Yes. But treated me like crap? No."

"Well, I'll get right on that when you come back to work," House declared, directing his gaze back to Elliot who was blinking up at him, yawning.

Cameron smiled at the baby before looking up at House and asking, "You're not going to ask any questions about him?"

He glanced up at her and scrunched up his chin while shaking his head. "Don't need to. Neither one of you look sleep-deprived. Chase's girlish golden locks are coiffed to perfection. Though you probably used less mousse than he did, long ago accepting he'd outshine you eternally in the hair department, yours is oil-buildup free, which tells me you had time to shower today. Your perkiness is at a 15 on a 1 to 10 scale. You've lost baby weight. Baby's gained baby weight - several ounces since the last time I weighed him in my hands. He's alert… or as alert as a newborn can be. Skin color's good. Chase's is like a prepubescent boy, well, except for the fact that he shaved this morning and nicked the underside of his jaw. Yours is glowing. From just what my eyes are telling me, the dairy department is producing by the truckload and from the smell of your kid, the last delivery was shortly before I came in the door. There's no screaming, no crying, no symptoms of colic, no tantrums. And I'm just talking about Chase. Nope. No questions. Besides, if there was something wrong, you'd have already told me."

"Well it's good to know you're paying such close attention to the dairy," Chase drolly replied.

"Aw, is the Aussie a bit jealous for my attention?" House taunted. "Don't _worry_, Chase. We could probably put you on estrogen and get you your own dairy supply by the end of the month. Personally, I've never been much of a fan of guys with man boobs but I'm sure with your hair, you could make it work."

Cameron rolled her eyes but smiled before saying, "I'd invite you to stay for lunch but then you'd miss out on your lunch date and somehow I doubt you have any intention of doing that."

House got to his feet carefully and then passed the baby back to her before grabbing his case file. "Nope. Surprisingly, the daycare seems to be the _only _place where the boss man _won't _go to hunt me down."

"Is he looking for you?" Cameron inquired.

"Wants me to speak at some conference in July," House replied with a shrug, heading to the door. "So far I've managed to avoid his path."

Cameron and Chase both followed behind him, seeing him to the door.

"Bring Evie next time," Cameron urged as he walked out.

"Ay ay captain," he saluted cheekily, before turning to exit the building.

Cameron shut the door and turned back to Chase. "Does reviewing a case make you miss Diagnostics?" she inquired curiously.

"Diagnostics, yes. House's snark, hmm. The jury's still out," he replied, taking the baby from her to go do a diaper change.

* * *

Cuddy looked at House in surprise that night as instead of knocking, he just let himself into Erika's house, motioning for her and Evie to enter ahead of him and Rachel. She vacillated and he rolled his eyes which was enough to propel her into motion, though only through the door. Then House set Rachel down, helping her take off her shoes before the two of them walked off into the house, Cuddy hesitantly trailing behind with the baby.

Erika smiled at everyone as they came into her kitchen. "I'm just about ready," she admitted. "Want to get drinks out, House?"

He nodded and opened the fridge before asking, "Where's the kid?"

"Upstairs finishing a class project," she replied.

"Is there anything I can do?" Cuddy inquired politely.

"Sure," Erika responded with a grateful smile. "Want to grab out a few hot pads for me from the drawer over there?"

Cuddy nodded and adjusted Evie in her arms as she went to the drawer she indicated, removing several hot pads as requested. Erika then directed her in where to place them before carrying over a pan of enchiladas, Mexican rice, refried beans, and chips, condiments already out on the table. When everything was ready, she went to call Trevor downstairs while House took Evie from Cuddy and sat down, Rachel scrambling up into the seat next to him with Cuddy on her other side to help her. When Erika came back with Trevor, the boy took the seat on House's other side, Erika next to him.

Erika clarified which side of the pan of enchiladas had chicken and which was vegetarian, having picked up on that preference on Cuddy's part from the last week when House prepared kebobs without meat for her. They all started eating, Rachel and Trevor being the most talkative ones.

"House, when can we go to another monster truck rally?" he asked him hopefully.

House considered the question and then shrugged. "I'll check and see when the next one is. Maybe Wilson will be able to come too." Turning to Erika, he teased, "You want to come?"

She quirked an eyebrow at him and muttered, "No thanks. I'll leave the monster trucks to you boys."

He smirked but said nothing more about it, turning his attention back to Trevor to ask him about how his chess game was improving while he fed Evie her dinner. They conversed for a few minutes before Erika reminded Trevor he needed to eat more and talk less, freeing House to eat when he could. Everyone was silent for a while, conversation trickling in scattered bursts. House mentioned his visit to Cameron and Chase's apartment earlier in the day while talking about his new patient, but didn't go into much detail. It was Erika who asked Cuddy about her day, wanting to hear more about what she did. Cuddy glanced at House before answering but he was pretty occupied with Evie who was getting tired of sitting in one place and wanted to get down and crawl around. House got up with her instead, walking around with her in his arms until she calmed down and stopped fussing.

When everyone was done with dinner, Cuddy cleaned up Rachel and then took Evie from House. He started helping Erika in clearing off the table, taking Evie back from Cuddy several minutes later to change her diaper when it became apparent she was in dire need of a clean one.

While Rachel and Trevor went to play with some of his cars that Erika had instructed him to bring down, Cuddy got up to help Erika clean up from dinner. Biting her lip, she checked to be sure House was gone before giving the other woman a friendly, slightly misleading smile, and saying, "I know you and House are neighbors but how did you meet?"

Erika glanced her way from where she was rinsing off plates from dinner, a smile stretching from ear to ear. "I went over to welcome him to the neighborhood with Trevor, bringing him a casserole. He seemed surprised that people still did things like that but he let us come in. Trevor was having a bad day. I forced him to come with me and he wasn't all that happy about it. Anyway, House well… he asked Trevor what was wrong with him and I assumed he meant Trevor's irritation but he was referring to his legs." Erika laughed softly and then in a mixture of amusement and chagrin stated, "You know, _most_ people have at least _some _impulse control and don't ask questions that aren't going to go over well, but _House_," she said, her voice laced with affection, "as I'm sure you know, doesn't care all that much about the rules of social etiquette. I was horrified by House's straightforwardness. _Then_ Trevor rudely told him it was none of his business and _that, _as a _parent, _left me _mortified._ And yet House looked from Trevor to me, unaffected by Trevor's testiness, turned, grabbing his cane which, up until that moment we had been oblivious to, and walked off in the direction of the kitchen, leaving us standing there looking after him. He hadn't taken the casserole from me and in walking away he told me I could bring it inside. Well, I didn't knowhim yet. I wasn't so sure it was a good idea to follow after him. But _Trevor _was already following after him, obviously now intrigued by House and his limp, so what could I do but follow? Trevor asked him what had happened and House tried to explain in terms he could understand. And _then _Trevor reciprocated and told him he'd been in a car accident. I was… shocked. Trevor hadn't ever shown _any_ interest in telling _anyone _what had happened. But House… House wasn't just _anyone._"

House came back in the room with Evie right then and gave Erika a funny look at hearing what she was talking about, rolling his eyes in response, but he didn't interrupt.

Erika paused anyway and brushed hair out of her face before looking his way, her face a testimony to just how much she cared for him as she remembered what had happened next. Meeting Cuddy's gaze once more, she dryly said, "Out of nowhere House offered to compare scars. And _that _alarmed me enough to think it was time to take my kid and run."

"You thought I was a perv," House threw out.

Erika laughed wryly but inclined her head in acknowledgement that the thought _had _crossed her mind. "But Trevor wanted to see his scar and… House undid his fly, making me nervous. I told him he better have boxers on and he told me I should really close my eyes anyway."

"Which you _didn't_," he pointed out, taunting her. "Because you _wanted _to see me drop my pants."

"I was _only _curious about your scar," Erika muttered, narrowing her eyes at him.

"_Sure_," House responded, clearly not believing her.

Erika shook her head but refocused on Cuddy and continued, "I told him if Trevor got to see it, I wanted to see too and _Trevor, _whether with the intention of helping me out or helping House out I don't know, _kindly offered _House information about my scars, pulling _me _into the scar exchange," she said, her words dripping with sarcasm. "Anyway, I ended up having to show him my caesarean scar. And then House was next. He _yanked _his pants down with such force I thought I was going to get more of a show than I'd bargained for."

"I think you were _disappointed _you didn't get more of a show than you did," House teased, waggling his eyebrows at her.

"Be quiet," Erika instructed, though oddly enough, she did blush a little at his teasing.

Cuddy looked from one to the other, alternating between jealousy and irritation, though amazingly enough, she covered for it well.

All the same Erika picked up on her emotion enough to recognize Cuddy didn't like what she was hearing and decided to quickly wrap the story up. "Trevor showed House his scar, House very _kindly_ made a big deal about how impressive his scars were, making Trevor feel better about himself than _I'd_ proven successful at doing up to that point, and I think that was when Evie started crying." Turning to House she asked, "She was what? Two days old when I met her?"

House nodded his agreement with her estimate.

Erika looked back at Cuddy and said, "We left not long after that but _that's _the story of how we met."

"You wanted to know how we met?" House inquired of Cuddy in surprise, gesturing back and forth between Erika and himself.

I was _curious_," Cuddy replied, trying to dismiss her question as being less important to her than it was, her tone perhaps a bit too forceful because he'd just identified he and Erika as "we," triggering her memory of being in the car with him on the way back from Georgia when he'd said there was no "we" where he and Cuddy were concerned. Slightly defensive now she added, "For you to get together with _anyone _besides Wilson on a weekly basis is… _mindboggling."_

House gave her an annoyed look, an eyebrow raised, and retorted, "As hard to believe as it may be, I _do _actually have people who _like _me. They do _exist_. I don't _just _have one friend anymore."

Cuddy felt like she'd been slapped and Erika's eyes widened as she turned to look at House in surprise, automatically taking a step towards him, reaching out to touch his arm as Cuddy looked at him, her eyes sad, before quietly stating, "House, that wasn't what I meant."

House looked from Cuddy to the baby in his arms to Erika, then sighed before saying, "Sorry. Maybe I… overreacted."

Cuddy bit her lip, looking down at the floor. She'd voiced her thoughts wrong and been defensive in answering the question. That hadn't helped. She understood his reaction.

House passed the baby to Erika and hesitantly approached Cuddy before briefly touching her arm. "I'm sorry," he repeated, his voice low.

Taking in a ragged breath, she finally looked up at him and said, "I'm sorry too. I didn't mean to say it like that."

House nodded and then dropped his hand to take Evie back from Erika.

"Are we going to watch a movie?" Erika asked, trying to defuse the situation. Turning to House she suggested, "Why don't you go ahead and see what Trevor and Rachel want to watch?"

House nodded and carried Evie out of the room, glancing back at Cuddy before leaving.

Erika waited until he was out of the room before asking, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Cuddy replied, nodding before looking briefly her way. "It was my fault."

Erika didn't really know what to say to that so she just let it go. She turned back to the dishes and then said, "It'll get easier."

"What will?" Cuddy hesitantly asked.

"Knowing how to interact with each other; knowing how to interpret one another better. You just need to get to know each other," Erika replied, glancing back over her shoulder at her.

Cuddy stared at her, thinking Erika had to be awfully secure in her relationship with House and in the idea that Cuddy wasn't an obstacle to say _that _to her. She bit her lip and said, "We've known each other since med school."

Erika nodded but said, "That doesn't mean you're still the same people. You _might _be, I don't know you well enough to say, but in the time that I've known House, both from what Wilson has told me and the small changes I've seen take place since House and I met, I don't imagine he's the same person you once knew. And you don't seem to know him anymore than he knows you now. Give it time."

Cuddy was beyond confused by the other woman but she gave a slight nod and then said, "I better go check on Rachel," before turning and slipping out of the room.

Erika turned to watch her go, contemplating House's immediate reaction to what Lisa had said to him. There was still a deep well of hurt there. She hoped if only for House's sake that would find healing in time.

* * *

May 17th, 2011

Tuesday night Evie was almost done with her food when Cuddy looked up from her lasagna and asked House, "You're working at Riverside East?"

House looked at her, instantly knowing his face was being pulled in different directions quite adverse to nature. He thought of one of those squish balls at the store where it was someone's head and when you gave it a squeeze, one eye always popped out bizarrely and double the proportion of the other one. At first he didn't even take her seriously. The question… House started to sputter as he grappled with it. Cuddy was asking him about his new job?! When she was the one who pushed him to go looking elsewhere? She was serious? _Seriously?!_ Alright, his current patient _had _come up yesterday in conversation but… this was one of those things he had no real interest in talking more about with her. He wasn't sure how he felt about her even inquiring about his work.

Cuddy glanced up at him when he started sputtering and read his expression in an instant. "I… I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

Oh for Pete's sake, House thought, rolling his eyes as he turned away to rub a hand over his face. He didn't want to do _this _again. He _hated _small talk with a passion. He _despised _it. But at some point, he supposed he _did _have to be able to hold a semi-decent conversation with her, even if it _did _involve him. And meaningless chit-chat was better than something outside the girls that really _mattered _to him. Alright. He could do this.

Inhaling a deep breath, he bit back a groan and scratched his head before turning back to her. "Yes," he replied evenly. "I'm working at Riverside East."

Cuddy stared at him, worrying her lip. Finally she nodded, uncertain about asking anything else after that _botched_ attempt at engaging House in conversation.

House wracked his brain for something to say to continue through this conversational debauchery while watching Rachel getting sauce all over her face.

"How's life at PPTH?" he asked awkwardly, already hating himself for the question before it even fully left his lips.

"You really want to know?" she asked in surprise, the spoon in her hand pausing halfway towards Evie's open and expectant mouth as Cuddy looked at him inquisitively.

"_No,_" he couldn't help declaring, skeptical that she thought he had. "I don't work there anymore," he pointed out. "What does it matter to _me _how things are going?!"

Cuddy stared at him for a moment. She bit her lip before softly inquiring, "Then why ask?"

"Cuddy," he began, gaping at her. "_You_ want to make small talk. So I'll _try_ to make small talk. But seriously, you _know _I _suck_ at small talk. I suck at any kind of _talk._"

She smiled then, her hand coming up under her chin with that expression involving her eyes getting all soft and her smile all… tender. It was _that expression_… the… _cute_ one he'd seen her make on more than one of her J-Dates he'd interrupted in hopes of capsizing the boat in the water before it really set sail. _Oh boy_. If he wasn't careful… he'd be in _big_ trouble here. He _seriously _hoped she _wasn't _going to get all mushy on him and start thinking they had a _future_ together. She might be his kid's mother but… that didn't cross the chasm between them. And he _really _didn't want to be stuck in a position of being the one to turn her words from several years back on her and say _that_ ship sailed long ago.

Looking away, House turned his attention to his plate. "Can we just focus on eating and screw the small talk?" he muttered from between his teeth.

"Okay," she replied willingly enough, the smile not leaving her lips even as she directed her attention back to Rachel, wiping her chin.

House breathed a sigh of relief, hoping Cuddy wasn't starting to… _think thoughts,_ and then dug into his lasagna with gusto, grateful to be spared small talk hell that would undoubtedly have ended badly.

* * *

May 18th, 2011

Cuddy had just finished telling Kate about what had happened between her and House at Erika's house Monday night.

Kate pursed her lips, considering it. "Well," she said finally. "At least when he _does _react to something you say, you get an idea of what he's feeling and where his sore spots are where you are concerned. That might not be all that comforting," she acknowledged. "But it actually does provide something to work with."

"But what exactly does that tell me? That he doesn't appreciate my thinking that he has no friends?! I _wasn't _saying that. I _know _that's not true. And I used to pick on him all the time about how Wilson was his only friend. He didn't care then," Cuddy pointed out.

Kate smiled. "I'd say you guys have a ways to go before he's ready for you to return to teasing him like you used to."

"But I wasn't even trying to," Cuddy replied, sighing heavily.

"No," Kate agreed. "But… I don't know. At least you can assume he wouldn't have reacted if he didn't somehow care what you thought."

"Unless he cared because Erika was there to hear me say that," Cuddy muttered in frustration.

Kate quirked an eyebrow at her. "Has he said anything to make you think he's dating her?"

Cuddy shook her head but said, "It's not what he says. Or at least, not what he says _to me._ It's how he treats her and interacts with her. He… flirts and banters and teases. Like he used to with me."

"And what about with others? Did he used to flirt, banter, or tease anyone else?" Kate inquired.

Cuddy thought about it but didn't really know how to answer. Finally she said, "Yes, but… not quite to the same extent or in the same way."

"And what was different about it?" Kate asked.

"With me there was the… sexual banter and hinting around. And then there were those moments when he was physically _so _close that there was little breathing space between us, even without us actually touching. He liked testing me and finding out what made me uncomfortable and what… provoked some kind of reaction. He made remarks about my body. I don't know," Cuddy mumbled.

"And is there sexual banter between him and Erika?" Kate queried.

Cuddy thought about it. "House makes comments. I mean, last week he replied to something she said to say that he _had _noticed she was a woman. And the other night when Erika was telling me about how they met, he teased her about wanting to see more of him than she had when he'd shown her the scar on his thigh from his infarction."

Does she reciprocate?" Kate then inquired.

"Not in front of me," Cuddy negated.

Kate nodded and asked, "And the physical proximity you see between the two?"

"She'll… touch him and kiss his cheek but… so far, that's really all I've seen," Cuddy responded. "I don't think I could handle seeing more than that though."

Kate smiled, understanding the feelings Cuddy was struggling with. "Does he get in her space like he used to get in yours?"

"Not when I'm present," she answered.

"And I'm guessing there are no comments about her body?" Kate asked, allowing it to still come out a question.

Cuddy shook her head. "It's more like… they're in the early stages of what I had with him."

Kate nodded. "Other than Monday night, how have things been between you and House?"

"Good," Cuddy automatically replied. "He… he even celebrated Mother's Day, making breakfast, getting cards for me from the girls, even giving me a framed picture of the two of them."

Kate smiled at seeing the contentment instantly etch over Cuddy's face, thoughts of House and Erika slipping from her mind. Thinking back to the week before, she asked, "You mentioned that Wilson wasn't the only one holding you under the microscope. What did you mean?"

Cuddy filled her in on Cameron's involvement in House's life since he left PPTH, the little she knew and then the past between them. She recapped all that Chase had said to her but added, "I haven't seen Cameron recently and Chase is on paternity leave since they just had a baby so I guess I'm not too worried about that right now. What I probably _should _start thinking about is the fact that House's mother is coming to town at the end of the month for a visit and… I'm not sure how that will go."

"What are you concerned about?" Kate clarified.

Cuddy looked down in her lap and then told Kate about the time when she'd been depressed and Blythe had called, leaving a couple messages. She added, "House told me his mom was coming but he… when I talked to him, he hadn't told her that I'm involved in Evie's life now. He didn't tell her that Rachel and I were living with him."

"Does he not want to tell his mom?" Kate asked.

Cuddy looked up at her and said, "He said he's going to tell her but that he hadn't done so already because it wasn't that important. I didn't understand and he said he's had enough on his plate in my return without dealing with however his mom was to react."

Kate nodded. "Is she going to stay at the house with the four of you?"

Cuddy shook her head. "House plans to have her stay at a hotel."

"Are you worried she's going to give you a hard time about coming back into the picture now? Or get after you for not being involved sooner? Or are you worried about something else completely?" Kate asked, leaning forward in her chair.

Cuddy bit her lip and said, "I'm just not sure what to say to her. I haven't even been able to open up to House as much as I'd like to. Now his mother's going to be around and I'm sure she's going to… ask questions. That would be natural. Especially as House's mother. How do I answer her? I _can't _answer questions I haven't even given House the answers to."

"Well, you don't _have _to answer any questions you feel uncomfortable with. And on top of that, I'm assuming moments when the two of you are alone together will be few. House will be around. Maybe that will temper whatever questions his mother wants to ask. And I'm sure if you're uncomfortable with a question, House probably will be too and will step in," Kate replied. "When is she coming?"

"Friday the 27th and she'll be here until Sunday the 29th," Cuddy responded.

"So you have a little over a week yet. Maybe you'll be able to talk to House some by then. Maybe you could talk to him about how he wants you to respond to his mother's presence in the house and any questions she might ask," Kate proffered.

Cuddy thought about it and shrugged. "Maybe," she said noncommittally.

* * *

House pulled into the parking lot at Mayfield and made his way up the steps, entering before heading in the direction of Nolan's office, Evie in his arms and her diaper bag balanced on his shoulder. The door was open and he didn't bother knocking, just strolling inside, dropping the diaper bag on the floor before taking a seat.

Nolan was finishing up some paperwork and glanced up when House entered, greeting him before setting aside the paperwork and recapping his pen.

Without preamble House launched into the story of Monday night at Erika's. He told Nolan what Cuddy had said about him spending time with anyone other than Wilson on a weekly basis being mindboggling and how he'd reacted to her words and her tone.

"Why did that bother you?" Nolan inquired.

"I don't know," he replied. "I don't know why I'd care what she thinks."

Nolan smiled slightly but didn't reply.

"Don't look at me like that," House grumbled, rolling his eyes.

"Like what?" Nolan asked.

"Like you can see into the depth of my black soul," he retorted, pulling Evie's bottle out for her and uncapping it to slip it into her mouth.

Nolan chuckled wryly. "I don't think there's much danger of that," he replied.

"Well good," House muttered.

"Where does all this touchiness come from lately?" Nolan asked, an eyebrow quirked.

House had his gaze focused on Evie but at the question, he looked sharply up at Nolan. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"You've been sensitive lately," Nolan commented.

"I'm not _sensitive_," House scoffed. "A jerk, alright, but _sensitive?"_

"You're deflecting," Nolan remarked.

House huffed out a breath but then looked at him. "I don't know," he finally replied. "I just… everything's changing on me. Cuddy's now in Evie's life. She and Rachel have moved in. I have to share my kid. Cameron's on maternity leave. Wilson and Erika are getting more serious. My mom is coming to town. It's… a lot to deal with."

"How has this last week been at home?" Nolan inquired, reclining in his chair and propping his legs up on a desk drawer.

"Cuddy… said she loves my kid," House quietly informed him.

"That's what you want though, right?" Nolan verified, studying him.

House nodded, his eyes on Evie as she drank her bottle in his arms.

"How did hearing that make you feel?" Nolan pressed.

"I don't know. I want her to be involved. I want her to love Evie. But when she said that, I realized how much it mattered. And… I don't know how to deal with the fact that it _matters._ Cuddy… said something even before that about how she… likes the way I smell," he added uncomfortably. "It triggered a thought and I offered to let her wear my t-shirts so that she'd smell like me and maybe then, Evie would have an easier time allowing Cuddy to hold her. It worked. It worked great. At first I was good with that. But now… it's like _all the time _Cuddy's _wearing my shirt _and… it's weird."

Nolan pursed his lips and asked, "Weird, how?"

"Well come on," House stated, his eyes narrowed. "How would you feel if some woman was always wearing your shirts?"

"_Some _woman?" Nolan echoed, an eyebrow raised. "Is that what she classifies as?"

"Forget it," House said testily. "I'm not talking about this with you. I just… _want my shirts back_."

Nolan chuckled. "She's holding them ransom?"

House gave him a dirty look and Nolan said, "So maybe it's time to have her try holding Evie _without _your shirts. Maybe you've gotten over the hump of this. Maybe Evie's ready. And if not, maybe you can alternate. One day she can use your shirt and the next she can try it on her own."

House considered it and shrugged. Then he reluctantly confessed, "I… celebrated Mother's Day."

Nolan looked at him and gave him an almost imperceptible nod. "And you think there's something wrong with that?" he somberly asked.

"No," House huffed. "It's just… not my thing. I don't _do _things like that."

"What did you do?" Nolan inquired, his curiosity now peaked.

House told him about Sunday morning and then paused before muttering, "She kissed my cheek."

"That made you uncomfortable?" Nolan asked.

House pursed his lips but then nodded slightly. "She was too close. She was in _my _bubble. And last week she hugged me after being able to hold Evie while wearing my shirt. I just don't know what to think right now. I don't know what's going on in that head of hers and I don't know that I _want_ to know. I feel like we are somehow playing house, acting like this happy family when all that is left of what was once between Cuddy and I is in ruins. It's like last night at dinner. She asked me about my job and it put me on edge. Then when I said I was no good at small talk, she looked at me all… _cutesy._ Like she thought I was _adorable._ I am _not _adorable. So how am I supposed to interpret things like that? And there have to be… boundaries or something that she won't cross. I'm just not interested in this turning into something I have to deal with and… I don't know how to make it clear to her that I meant what I said when we met at the picnic tables. I love her but… I don't want to _like _her again. And I can't handle her wanting more from me than what I've already offered her."

"So tell her that," Nolan replied, folding his hands in his lap.

"Then, if she _is _interested in me, she'll want me to _explain_. I don't want to _explain," _House said pointedly.

"Whether you explain or not is up to you," Nolan said in response.

House exhaled through his nose, contemplating the conversation.

They talked a little bit about the other changes in his life, but both Nolan and House knew they were secondary concerns and when Evie fell asleep, they called it a night. House drove home, not so sure that he intended to open that can of worms with Cuddy if he didn't have to. He figured maybe he'd see how the next few days went and judge from there.

-----

"_**Let me hold you  
For the last time  
It's the last chance to feel again  
But you broke me  
Now I can't feel anything**_

_**When I love you  
It's so untrue  
I can't even convince myself  
When I'm speaking  
It's the voice of someone else**_

_**Oh it tears me up  
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much  
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay**_

_**You can't play on broken strings  
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel  
I can't tell you something that ain't real**_

_**Oh the truth hurts  
And lies worse  
How can I give anymore  
When I love you a little less than before?**_

_**Oh what are we doing?  
We are turning into dust  
Playing house in the ruins of us**_

_**Running back through the fire  
When there's nothing left to save  
It's like chasing the very last train when it's too late  
Too late**_

_**Oh it tears me up  
I try to hold on, but it hurts too much  
I try to forgive, but it's not enough to make it all okay**_

_**You can't play on broken strings  
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel  
I can't tell you something that ain't real**_

_**Well the truth hurts  
And lies worse  
How can I give anymore  
When I love you a little less than before?**_

_**But we're running through the fire  
When there's nothing left to save  
It's like chasing the very last train  
When we both know it's too late (too late)**_

_**You can't play on broken strings  
You can't feel anything that your heart don't want to feel  
I can't tell you something that ain't real**_

_**Well the truth hurts  
And lies worse  
How can I give anymore  
When I love you a little less than before?**_

_**Oh you know that I love you a little less than before**_

_**Let me hold you for the last time  
It's the last chance to feel again"**_

* * *

Song: "Broken Strings" (James Morrison & Nelly Furtado)


	77. Broken II

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I don't know if I will be able to finish another chapter tomorrow or not. We'll see. I only finished this one because most of it was already written. But enjoy!!)_

* * *

May 20th, 2011

"Daddy," Rachel said, slipping her hand into his where he stood waiting for their pizza to get done in the oven. "You watch Beauty & the Beast with me?"

House looked down at her and her little fingers clutching his hand. It was scary how intimidating this daddy thing could be. Rachel looked at him with eyes of trust and eyes of hope. It made him only too aware of how strong their bond had become and how terrified he was of letting her down. And even when the _last _thing he wanted to do was watch Beauty & the Beast, somehow he found himself easily swayed.

"_Please?_" she added, her head lolling back on her shoulders to see his face better where he towered over her.

House glanced in Cuddy's direction where she sat at the table feeding Evie and she instantly looked away, though not before he saw the amused smile on her face. Sighing, House said, "Okay kid. We'll eat our pizza in the living room while we watch your movie."

"Yea!!" she declared, releasing his hand to dance around, clapping her hands together excitedly.

Cuddy laughed at the resigned expression on House's face and her daughter's joy before giving Evie another bite of her dinner.

House looked over at her and Evie and said, "I think you should try holding her without my t-shirt tonight. She's going to have to get used to you and your smell."

"Are you saying I smell?" she asked, an eyebrow quirked as she stared at him.

"Well, there is a certain stench of administrative need about you," House replied dryly before he could catch himself.

Cuddy smiled in response but House was too busy trying to figure out where that comment had come from to notice. His walls were slipping. It was a sobering and terrifying truth he didn't know how to handle. He couldn't _do _this. He couldn't _say _things like that to her anymore.

"Okay," Cuddy said in response to his earlier statement. "We'll give it a shot."

Rachel ran off to look for baby G and House turned to open the oven door, removing the pizza from within and setting it on the stove to slice with the pizza cutter. Evie was done eating so Cuddy washed her face off before putting her bowl into the dishwasher.

"Here goes," she said as she unbuckled a babbling Evie and lifted her free, settling her up against her chest. Evie waved her arms about, continuing to babble, seeming unaware of any difference.

House glanced at Evie and smiled lop-sided. "Looks like she's doing fine," he said then.

Cuddy nodded, a wave of relief flooding through her.

House turned and walked to the cabinets, dishing up three plates of pizza for Cuddy, Rachel, and himself.

He made a few trips back and forth to the living room with pizza and drinks and then found Rachel's movie in the small stack of Disney flicks Cuddy had brought with them before popping it in the DVD player. House settled Rachel on the floor with her plate as Cuddy came in with Evie. After placing Rachel's sippy cup on the coffee table, House reached for the remote, starting up the movie before taking a seat on the couch.

"I don't think I would have _ever _pictured you sitting and watching Beauty & the Beast willingly," Cuddy said with a smile as she sat down next to him.

"Me neither," he wryly replied. "Though thanks to Erika and Trevor, I've watched pretty much _every other_ Disney movie now."

Cuddy glanced at him but didn't say anything, just nodding. She set Evie down on the floor since she was squirming and then reached for her pizza, eating it beside him. "What's your favorite?" she asked.

"Favorite what?" House replied, looking her way.

"Favorite Disney movie," she clarified.

House didn't even think it over. There was no way he'd say some girlie Disney flick. "Cars," he answered.

Cuddy smiled at that response and said, "I'm surprised Rachel didn't ask to watch The Little Mermaid. That's her favorite right now. This one… this one is mine."

"Beauty & the Beast?" House asked in curiosity, looking at her. "Why Beauty & the Beast?"

Cuddy bit her lip, a smile quirking the corners of her mouth. "Maybe I just have a soft spot for misunderstood jerks that turn into princes."

House stared at her disbelievingly and ultimately scoffed. "That only happens in the movies," he informed her before looking at Evie who was quickly headed in the direction of Rachel's pizza.

"I don't think it does," she murmured, watching as he pushed himself off the couch to step around the coffee table and scoop Evie up, blowing raspberries on her belly and getting her to giggle before he rifled Rachel's hair.

House picked up one of Evie's toys before bringing her to the couch, sitting back down and giving her the toy, which she automatically put in her mouth. Looking at the TV, he pointedly said, "Look at Gaston. He's a jerk. You're telling me there is hope for him?"

Cuddy shrugged, giving him a look. "Not if he doesn't want to change. Not if there is nothing to motivate him into changing."

"When did you and Cameron trade bodies?" he inquired sarcastically.

Cuddy narrowed her eyes at him. "I don't think I can _change _people! I'm just saying people _can _change! And what is so wrong with believing in someone anyway? In believing someone can change?"

"You set yourself up for disappointment and the other person for failure," he replied, his eyes on the screen still.

Cuddy focused on House, watching him a moment. "Maybe the risk is worth it. Maybe you won't _be_ disappointed."

"Or you will and you'll realize that people _don't change _as easily as you think," House huffed. "Then you give up hope and go looking somewhere else for what you _really_ want instead of what you thought you could settle for. Someone who _isn't _a misunderstood jerk. Someone who can make you happy…"

"Someone like… Lucas?" Cuddy whispered, interrupting.

House shifted uncomfortably on the couch, his jaw clenching involuntarily.

"Maybe you thought you wanted that but in the end, that wasn't what you wanted at all," Cuddy murmured, her eyes on her lap.

House turned to stare at her and demanded, "Seriously! Who_ are _you?!"

"What do you mean?" Cuddy asked warily.

House shook his head in clear befuddlement, getting to his feet. He really _didn't_ know who this person was next to him. Once upon a time, Cuddy _had _been interested in him. But he hadn't thought she expected him to change. He hadn't thought she expected him to become someone he'd never be. If she had, it was no wonder she'd moved on. "I've got to go make Evie a bottle," he gruffly informed her, walking away with Evie in his arms.

She watched him go, sighing heavily when he left the room. Talking in code was easier but maybe they needed to stop with the code and start _actually talking!_

* * *

House made Evie her bottle, the waters of frustration boiling to the surface. What was he _doing?!_ Why was he even _talking _with Cuddy about this?! And… and she had mentioned _Lucas._ How _dare _she mention Lucas to him?! The last person House wanted to hear Cuddy mention was _Lucas! _Lucas, the _chosen _one. Lucas, the one she _wanted_ to be with. "_Maybe you thought you wanted that but in the end, that wasn't what you wanted at all_." That was _crap. Pure crap. _She _should _have said maybe that was what she wanted but not what she could have anymore. That was probably more accurate.

House raked a hand through his hair and exhaled harshly before testing the bottle's temperature on his wrist.

"Daddy?" Rachel said, having come into the room to find him. "Me have cookies?"

House turned to look at her and his eyes softened. "Yeah," he softly agreed, after considering how much of her pizza she'd eaten. "You can have a couple."

Rachel beamed, following him to the pantry and readily accepting two cookies from him when he proffered them. "Daddy coming?" she asked, holding her free hand out to him.

His mouth quirked and he took her hand, walking back out with Rachel and sitting down on the floor beside her, leaning back on the couch, Evie in his arms. Placing the bottle in Evie's mouth, he focused his attention on the screen but then looked away as the Beast took Belle's hand and led her into the library, frowning, his mind slipping into places it would never again have reason to be. He'd tried. He'd failed. He'd lost. And now he was supposed to be moving on.

"House," Cuddy murmured compellingly.

He shook his head, knowing she wanted to pick back up where they'd left off. But he was _done _with the conversation. It led nowhere. Nowhere good anyway. It would just end in him laying awake all night, trying to analyze her to death and figure out what she was trying to do to him. He _couldn't _deal with it. There was no fixing all that had gone wrong and there was no _believing _that she seriously _meant ANYTHING _she was saying. This… Wherever this was coming from, it was a black hole. A void in space. Talking changed nothing because nothing _could _change.

"Just forget it, Cuddy," he muttered under his breath. "I don't want to talk anymore. Just… watch the movie."

Cuddy stared at him sadly for a moment before dropping her eyes to her lap. She wondered if she'd ever be able to talk freely with him. If the girls weren't present, she thought she might press her luck, but being that they were, she chose to bide her time. Getting to her feet, she picked up the three plates from the coffee table, carrying them into the kitchen and placing them into the dishwasher. She supposed she and House were making _some _kind of progress. And _maybe _he'd think about what she'd said and see her heart in all this. But things still looked so bleak. She wondered when they'd round the bend in the road… or _if _they ever would.

* * *

May 21st, 2011

Cuddy came back to the house after running errands Saturday to find it deserted and quiet. House's car was in the driveway so she wasn't sure where they were but the temperature outside had risen significantly and she was overheating in what she had on so she figured she'd change and then look around for him, grabbing the shirt he'd set out for her. Things had been quiet between them since last night. House had carried Rachel upstairs after putting Evie down in the crib and by the time she'd come down from saying goodnight to Rachel, he'd already gone into his room. She and Rachel had come down this morning and Cuddy had _tried _to hold Evie like she'd succeeded in doing shortly last night but she'd had little success. Cuddy knew that was why House had put the shirt out for her but inwardly, she was almost positive Evie's refusal to be held had more to do with House's walls being back up. It made her sad.

However, as she headed for the stairs to go up to her room she heard Rachel's squeals and paused, removing her foot from the bottom step to continue on down the hallway. A smile traced its way onto her lips at the sight of the three of them out in the backyard. Evie was sitting on a blanket in the grass clapping and giggling while House had Rachel stretched out on her belly across his arms and was slowly revolving with her in circles, trying to make her feel like she was flying. Turning, Cuddy headed back to the stairs and hurried up them to change so that she could join everyone outside.

Cuddy returned downstairs five minutes later in a pair of jeans and House's t-shirt. As she approached the door she could see Evie still sitting on the blanket, playing with some toys, but House and Rachel were no longer within her range of sight. And then she spotted them.

Erika was outside working in the garden dividing the two backyards, kneeling on the edge of it, her backside to Cuddy. Rachel stood in front of her with several seed packets, talking to her, while House was gathering a handful of something or other from the ground, his eyes going back and forth between Evie on the blanket and Rachel and Erika. Cuddy recognized that look of mischief, a look she hadn't seen in ages, five seconds before House straightened and started pelting Erika's rear with what Cuddy guessed were acorns from last fall. She felt shattered just seeing this, needing to turn away rather than face the heartache brought on by the sight before her, yet unable to. House _was _treating Erika like he used to treat her.

Rachel appeared oblivious but Erika clearly was not. She shot House several looks and appeared to scold him but House was undaunted, smirking at her. When he ran out of ammunition, he reached down to the ground for another handful. But Erika took advantage of his preoccupation and grabbed her hose, turning it in his direction and pressing down on the handle just as he bent down, soaking him thoroughly, Rachel giggling and jumping up and down at a safe distance away. House fought the water as he turned around but then he went down and Cuddy's heart stopped as he grabbed his thigh as if in agony. She yanked the door open to go to him, stepping outside on the deck, but Erika was already kneeling by his side and she froze, uncertain as to what she should do, watching the drama play out.

Before she understood what was happening, House had knocked Erika down in the grass next to him, having been feinting his nonexistent injury of a moment before, and used that moment to grab the hose, soaking Erika down and Rachel too in the process, who shrieked and went running for cover, Monster running around and barking not too far away. House threw aside the hose, one hand on Erika to keep her down, the both of them laughing.

And Cuddy couldn't take it any longer. She turned and rushed back inside the house, shutting the door behind her. Her heart ached. House was flirting and bothering Erika the way he used to flirt and bother her. There was _NO _physical separation between them. There was no sign of any spatial barriers. And it was like a knife in her heart to watch him with another woman and know that should be her out there pinned down in the grass, gazing up into House's eyes. Cuddy didn't know how she could bear to watch House give his heart away to another woman. She didn't know if she could do this at all. Maybe she'd made a mistake in agreeing to move in.

* * *

"You're such a child," Erika muttered, glancing at her garden and the havoc the force of the spray of water had wrecked on her seedlings.

House laughed but released her, sitting back so that he could get to his feet and check on Evie. "You're the one who brought water into the picture. I was content with my acorns."

Irritated, Erika reached for a clump of mud and chucked it at him, causing it to spatter against his jaw, ricocheting in his hair. She instantly smiled, somewhat appeased.

House gave her a look and muttered, "You're restarting the war right now. I hope you know what you're getting yourself into."

She immediately scrambled back, an arm out to ward him off.

"What did House do now?" Wilson asked wryly as he came around the side of Erika's house, eyeing the two of them and shaking his head, humored by their appearances.

"Hi!" Erika declared with a smile, heading for him. "You've saved me from further torture."

"Torture you deserve," House sarcastically called after her.

"Hey Wilson," he then greeted his buddy.

"Hey House," he responded before giving Erika a kiss, being careful to stay far enough away from her to not get wet.

"Where's Trevor?" he asked.

"Chess team meet. Trevor's not playing but he went to support his buddies. He's catching a ride home with another student. Should be here in a half hour," she informed Wilson. Turning back to House, she invited, "You want to join us for dinner? I mean, after you have a shower?"

"Thanks but Cuddy should be home soon. I should get the girls in and get Rachel changed into something dry so I don't get yelled at," he replied, heading to retrieve Evie from her blanket.

Wilson followed House to take Evie from him and kiss her cheek. "Are we still going bowling tomorrow?"

House grabbed the blanket from the ground and then wrapped it around Evie when Wilson held her back out towards him so that he could hold her and not get her wet. Turning, he called, "Rachel! Time to go in!"

"Bowling?" Wilson prompted again.

"Yep. I might bring the girls though," House added as Rachel came running to his side.

"Fine with me. Maybe Erika and Trevor want to come bowling as well," he responded before squatting to greet Rachel who was still a little shy around Wilson.

House smiled wryly and asked, "When did we become these guys?"

"Hey, I'm just dating," Wilson replied, looking up at him. "You're the one with two kids."

House rubbed his face and then said, "Ask them. We'll make a… thing of it."

"Okay. See you later, House," Wilson responded as he turned and headed back to Erika's side, walking with her towards the house, the two of them chatting.

House smiled in amusement, shaking his head before looking down at just how wet and dirty he was. Reaching down, he took Rachel's hand and headed for the back door, checking to be sure the puppy was following them. Thankfully Rachel was only wet. He still had her take off her shoes before opening the door and letting her run in ahead of him while he put Monster in the crate they kept in the garage before kicking off his own shoes and removing his socks. Shutting the door behind him, he started to follow her but stopped at the sound of sniffing coming from the laundry room.

Confused, he reached for the door and pushed it open, stepping in with Evie to find Cuddy in there, hastily wiping her eyes.

"What's wrong?" he asked, eyeing her with a frown.

She shook her head, not wanting to explain, before reaching for the baby, taking her and pressing a kiss to her cheek. "You're all wet. You should go change before you… get sick or something," she murmured, not meeting his eyes.

He raised an eyebrow at her, suddenly realizing she wasn't even asking him _how _he'd gotten wet. And that's when it dawned on him why she was upset. Or at least to an extent. "This is about Erika, isn't it?" he couldn't help asking in frustration.

She turned away from him but not before he saw tears spill over once again. Sighing dramatically, he reached for her shoulder, turning her around to face him. She wouldn't establish eye contact with him and before he could say anything at all Cuddy mumbled, "I'm going to move back home with Rachel."

House stared at her for a long moment, his heart having plummeted in his chest, and then dropped his gaze. "Fine," he muttered. "Do whatever you want." Turning he headed out of the room, leaving her there with Evie in her arms, fussing just slightly.

"House," she called after him, her tone suddenly pleading with him as she took a step out of the laundry room after him.

But emotion swirled in his gut, leaving him conflicted, the only clear feeling he could identify being anger. He decided right then and there that he was not about to have this conversation with her. She wanted to move out. She could. He wasn't going to get in her way.

"No," he gruffly replied, continuing past the breakfast nook and turning to go down the hallway towards his room.

House disappeared around the corner from her view and her heart ached to have come to this point and know that he was not going to fight for her to stay. Cuddy hadn't realized how much she had been banking on him doing anything he had to in order to keep her and Rachel around. But it was obvious now that he wasn't going to and she couldn't decide whether she'd been unfair to expect he would or if she wasn't fully justified in thinking it was time to go home.

She looked at Evie regretfully in her arms, realizing that she'd be leaving her behind, pain gnawing at her belly at that realization, a truth she'd somehow overlooked or ignored, unable to contemplate the costs of what she was deciding in order to avoid watching House with someone else. She wondered if House would be just as upset to lose Rachel as she would be in leaving Evie.

Cuddy heard her running about a second later and House wearily ask, "Rachel, where are your clothes?"

"I'm naked, daddy!" she happily declared.

Cuddy heard House sigh and she took a step as if to go deal with Rachel but she was shaken already by what had transpired and knew she'd break down if she followed him any farther.

"You can't run around naked," House pointedly informed Rachel, rubbing a hand over his face while shaking his head.

"My clothes are all wet," Rachel replied seriously, smacking her hands against her damp belly because she liked the noise it made. "Mommy not let me wear wet clothes."

House pursed his lips and walked into the main bathroom to grab a towel before returning and taking her hand. "Come on," he said flatly, leading her upstairs.

"You're all wet too, daddy. You got to take your clothes off too," Rachel somberly stated.

"We'll get you dressed and then daddy will worry about himself," he dryly replied.

House and Rachel headed into her room and he wrapped the towel around her before setting her on her bed. He turned to dig through her drawers and found his eyes burning, his vision blurry. Within a few days, this room might be as empty as it was before she came. Perhaps as soon as tomorrow. He might not ever have to dress Rachel again. Releasing the drawer, his fists clenched at his sides and he bit back a curse word before knuckling the moisture from his eyes. He focused his attention on what he was doing, locating a pair of pink underwear for her, along with a t-shirt from another drawer and finally, a pair of jeans. Turning, he walked back over to her and set the clothes aside to rub her dry with the towel.

"Daddy, you mad at me?" she asked, her lip trembling and eyes filling with tears.

House expelled his breath, realizing that he was being too transparent here. "No, Rachel," he managed to say, his voice softening as his hand came up to cup her jaw and stroke her cheek. "I'm not mad at you. You've done nothing wrong."

The tears spilled over and she whimpered, "You look mad."

House felt moisture fall on his own cheek then but pushed that realization aside, knowing Rachel needed him right now. Releasing her face, he reached for her and pulled her to him, enfolding her in his arms. "Daddy's not mad at you," he found himself murmuring around the knot in his throat. "Daddy loves you."

Rachel's arms came around his neck and she clung to him for a moment, hiccupping. House patted her back, trying to soothe her. "Daddy's just sad about something," he said, choking over the words. "But everything will be okay, Rachel."

"Okay," she replied a moment later, her voice muffled in his chest and her head bobbing.

House released her and swiped at his eyes before noticing that the mud Erika had slung at him was now on Rachel as well. Managing to quirk a smile for her, he reached out and tugged a lock of her hair playfully before pointing to her belly. "What do you say we put our swimming suits on and take a bath in daddy's bathroom?" he suggested.

Rachel looked down at the mud, her nose crinkling, and then back up at him, nodding. House stood back up carefully, massaging his leg a moment, the ache very present for the first time in quite awhile, before turning to the dresser and locating a swimsuit he'd seen when he'd pulled out a pair of underwear for her. Helping her into it, he then enfolded her in the towel and picked her up before grabbing the change of clothes. He carefully limped his way downstairs and headed into his room with her, digging through his drawers once he'd set her down for his own swimming trunks. Then he shut his door most of the way, leaving just a crack open, before directing her into his bathroom. He ran water into the tub, making sure the temperature wasn't too high and settled her inside before removing his clothes and pulling his swim trunks on while she was distracted, playing with some of the bath toys he kept on hand for Evie. He turned the water off and eased himself in with her, using a cup to pour water over his head and rinse away the caked mud from his hair and face before shampooing up. When he thought he was set, he turned his attention to Rachel. By the time she was ready to get out, House was more than ready, the water having cooled considerably from a temperature that had been well below his normal preference already, due to Rachel's presence and temperature tolerance. He stripped her bathing suit away and wrapped her in a towel before turning away to take his own off and tie a towel at his waist. Setting her up on the counter, he towel-dried her hair, grabbed a comb and then worked it through before getting her dressed and walking her out of the bathroom. Flipping on his television for her, he found one of the animal shows she sometimes watched and set her up on his bed before retrieving some clothes for himself from a drawer, walking back into his bathroom to put them on. Ten minutes later he was good to go, the bathtub had drained, and Rachel looked up at him to say, "I'm hungry, daddy."

Clicking off the television, he helped her off the bed and then took her hand to limp out of the room with her, heading into the kitchen. Cuddy was not there and for that he was grateful. He needed some time to work through this and at least have enough control over his emotions to not act like an idiot, but for now he just wanted to bury it and pretend this wasn't happening to him.

"How about spaghetti?" he asked Rachel.

"S'ghetti," she agreed, nodding before scampering off to return a minute later with baby G who she had retrieved from the living room.

House went to work on dinner, trying to keep his thoughts off Cuddy's decision to leave, Rachel taking up residence not far away from him on the floor.

* * *

Cuddy sat outside on the porch with Evie in her lap, knowing House would find her if he needed her to take Rachel. Tears streamed down her cheeks and she was glad that she'd retrieved some tissues before coming out here because her nose was running and sniffing was annoying enough without having to do so constantly in hopes of keeping it under control.

Evie seemed content to drink her bottle and while she studied her mother the whole time, she didn't complain about her emotional distress. That in itself was a small miracle. Cuddy knew she was crying in part because Evie was only just adjusting to her and now she was going to leave her and probably lose all the progress they'd made together. Also, seeing her a few times a week wasn't the same as being with her every day. She didn't know what she'd been thinking to say what she had to House. She hadn't even said that much but it had been enough to break the already fragile relationship they'd been working themselves into. Now she and Rachel would move out and the relationship they'd built would dissolve completely into House being distant and cold and Cuddy guilt-ridden and broken. It just wasn't fair. But she couldn't turn back time now. And even if she could, how would it even be _possible_ for her to stay when it would mean watching House with Erika, potentially committing himself to her and devastating Cuddy in the process, who couldn't handle even the idea that things might not work out for her and House eventually? Cuddy choked back a sob, miserable at the idea of leaving House and Evie and yet equally crushed by the thought of House starting another family with someone else, which really, if she thought about it, her absence would only encourage him to do that much faster.

Brushing her tears aside, she wrapped her arms more securely around her daughter, regretting everything that had just taken place and all that was about to.

* * *

"Rachel, do you know where your mommy and sister are?" House asked as he finished setting the food on the table.

She looked up at him but shook her head.

House headed towards the living room, checking there first, before looking in Evie's room. Opening the door to the basement, he glanced down but all was dark. Cuddy's room was the next best bet and he headed up there, knocking on her door. But he got no response. He cracked her door open anyway but she was not within, the lights off. Going back downstairs, he looked in the garage, verifying that her car was still here while releasing the puppy from the crate to come inside now that he was dry. Then he headed for the porch, finally spotting her sitting there with Evie in her lap.

House looked down at his feet and huffed out a breath before pursing his lips. He knew he could tell her that he wasn't interested in dating Erika, that Wilson was dating her, and Cuddy would then probably opt to stay. But it really wasn't the point anymore. He didn't feel like he owed Cuddy any explanations. There were plenty of things she'd done and said that he didn't demand her to account for. He didn't have rules regarding her social life, other than that she couldn't have guys here. What gave her the right after all that had happened between them to have any say whatsoever regarding what he did or who he saw? And why did it even matter to her in the first place? Which left him with only one reason why he was actually considering explaining things to her and that reason was Rachel. He didn't know how to give up what he'd gained in having her so close, in being her… daddy.

He knew he should care more than he did about the fact that Cuddy would be walking away from Evie to an extent, but right now that didn't faze him since she'd still undoubtedly wish to see her on a regular basis. It was only his selfishness in wanting Rachel here with him that created this struggle within him between giving in and giving her the information she wanted and letting her make her own decision uninformed and be forced to deal with the ramifications. He wasn't sure what he'd decide here. He assumed he still had some time.

Opening the door, he forced himself to calmly state, "Dinner's ready if you're hungry." Evie began to fuss when he came into view, her arms reaching for him, and House took her from Cuddy without waiting for a reply, closing the door a second later. He nuzzled Evie's neck and then carried her to her highchair, setting her in it before buckling her in.

"Rachel," he said, reaching for her hand. "Time to get in your booster seat."

She got to her feet and slipped her hand in his, walking with him to the table and waiting for him to lift her up and get her situated as well. House wasn't surprised when Cuddy didn't come inside. He frowned but focused on dishing up dinner for the girls before sitting down with them to eat. He didn't know if she was out there sulking or just working through the situation, but he wasn't about to worry about it now.

* * *

Cuddy had lost her appetite. She sat outside, staring at nothing, her ears straining for sounds of House and the girls within. She tried to contemplate what life would be like if she left. House had only viewed moving in as a temporary arrangement, but from his reaction in the laundry room to her declaration that they were leaving, she knew he didn't want that. At the same time, she knew she didn't have any right to demand he give up seeing Erika in order to keep her and Rachel here. But as selfish as it was to leave because she didn't want to see him with Erika, she just didn't see staying. For a moment she wondered if this was how House had felt in seeing her with Lucas.

Cuddy got to her feet sometime later and stood at the railing, looking out into the backyard. She loved House. She didn't want to leave. She didn't want to throw away any chance she stood of seeing where things could go between them. She also didn't want to take Rachel from him or House from Rachel, any more than she wanted to walk away from Evie. So what did she do? Could she… Could she stick around and see House… happy with someone else if it meant that her family would be together that much longer? Cuddy didn't know.

* * *

House didn't look Cuddy's way when she finally came into the house. He'd already put his plate in the dishwasher and was finishing up with Evie while Rachel ate the last of her second helping of spaghetti. He got up to grab a washcloth, wiping Evie down before setting her on the floor. She immediately crawled in the direction of Cookie Monster who was in the process of eating all the spaghetti that Rachel had dropped on the floor during the course of dinner. Turning to Rachel, he picked her up and set her on the counter before rinsing out the washcloth to clean her mouth and hands. Then he set her down so that she could go play.

Cuddy watched him from the doorway, biting her lip before looking down at the floor. His mouth was set in a firm line and he didn't even glance in her direction, ignoring her completely. Pushing away from the wall she walked over to where Evie was and picked her up, noting that she was in need of a diaper change. House threw a chew toy down on the floor and that was enough to keep Monster occupied, while he cleaned off the table and put dishes, pots, and pans in the dishwasher. Once he had cleaned up, he headed out to the living room, finding Rachel there.

Taking a seat at the piano, he wasn't surprised when Rachel immediately came over and tried to crawl up in his lap. House reached for her, swallowing hard against the knot in his throat, and set to work playing a song with Rachel that he was in the process of making up for her.

* * *

Cuddy sat in Evie's room, rocking her, wondering if this would be the last night she had opportunity to rock her daughter and put her to bed. It wasn't that she thought House would tell her in moving out she would no longer be allowed in Evie's life. He wouldn't do something like that to either of them. But she wouldn't be surprised if he moved their visits somewhere else, to a neutral third location, even if it would kill her to have things come to _that_. Still, when House was upset and she was doing this to him and the girls just as much as to herself… It wasn't like she could expect things wouldn't change and change drastically.

Cuddy could hear House and Rachel in the living room, playing a song she'd never heard before on the piano. Part of her wanted to take Evie in there and be a family… be _together_ for the last time. The problem was, in saying they'd be moving out she'd severed their family and she could go in there now but it wouldn't be the same as it had been last night when they'd all sat out there, Rachel having talked House into watching Beauty & the Beast with her. Granted, that had led to an exchange between her and House that ended abruptly and… _not _happily, but he'd come back into the room and finished the movie with them. He hadn't disappeared completely. And _despite _the conversation, he'd been fine when she hadn't pushed him into talking further. They'd been together, the four of them, as a family should be.

Maybe… maybe if she and House could find a way to work this out somehow, to make living separately again work for them, Evie _would _reach a point where Cuddy could hold her even without House's shirt, because she seriously doubted he'd be all that interested in letting her wear his clothes after today. She glanced down at Evie who had fallen asleep in her arms, and then at the shirt she was wearing, only then realizing that tears were streaming down her face and leaving wet drops across the top of House's t-shirt. Cuddy… Cuddy didn't _want _to stop wearing his shirts. She didn't _want _to leave. She didn't _want _to miss out on being in Evie's everyday life. She'd already lost _more_ than enough. So why couldn't she just bring herself to humbly ask him if they could stay and… accept Erika as House's future?

* * *

House tucked Rachel in bed, kissed her goodnight, and then left to find Cuddy for her as he'd promised. He found her in Evie's room, rocking her though she was already asleep and gruffly said, "Rachel would like you to come say goodnight."

She looked at him and nodded but he had already averted his gaze and turned to leave the room. Cuddy watched him go, her heart aching, wanting to reach out to him, wanting to tell him the _last _thing she wanted to do was leave. She placed the sleeping baby in her crib before turning on her nightlight and hitting the overhead light off, though she left the door open. She glanced around to see if House was nearby before heading upstairs and going into Rachel's room.

Rachel's eyes were already heavy with sleep but she reached for Cuddy when she entered the room. Cuddy sat down on the edge of the bed and bent over to give her a hug and a kiss before smoothing Rachel's hair back and tucking the blankets more securely around her. She noticed the presence of baby G and sighed because it brought her thoughts back to the man downstairs.

"Why daddy sad?" Rachel murmured tiredly, her eyes staring into her mother's.

She didn't know why but she repeated Rachel's thoughts as if to verify her findings. "Daddy's sad?"

Rachel slowly nodded. "He cry before we swim in the tubby," she said, pulling her hand out from under the covers to scratch her nose before throwing her hand back up over her head.

Cuddy took a shaky breath at that piece of information, wiping at her own eyes.

"Mommy sad too?" Rachel asked, her lip trembling in response.

"Sometimes mommy and daddy get sad, Rachel," she replied softly. "It's okay to be sad. But Rachel, you don't need to worry about us. Because we'll work it out and then we won't be sad anymore." Cuddy wasn't sure her words were enough to reassure Rachel. They certainly weren't helping her. But the last thing she wanted right now was Rachel reacting to what was going on between her and House. It would have an awful effect on her soon enough.

Rachel nodded sleepily and yawned then, apparently content with what her mother had said.

"Night Rachel," she whispered after a moment. "Mommy loves you."

"Love you mommy," Rachel replied, turning onto her side, her arm wrapping around baby G.

Cuddy got up and turned off the light, leaving just the soft glow from the nightlight in the wall. She stood in the doorway a moment, watching Rachel's eyes close in sleep before turning and stepping out, pulling the door halfway closed behind her.

Cuddy didn't really know what to do now. Part of her was just tempted to call it a night and go get ready for bed. Another part of her wanted to go track House down and see if they couldn't talk about this. Rachel said he was sad and that he'd… been crying. She had a hard time imagining that because the mental image was sheer torture and something she'd never really encountered before. But how could Rachel be wrong?

Her mind made up for her, she took the stairs back down to the main floor to go looking for him. After searching the main floor, with the exception of his room, she was surprised to find him in the living room, seated in the dark on the piano bench drinking one of his nonalcoholic beers, staring at the piano but not playing it. She hesitated a moment but then entered, walking towards him. Turning, she sat down on the piano bench beside him but facing outward.

They sat there in silence for several moments, neither knowing what to say and both hoping the other person would speak first.

House was the first to break the silence. "When are you leaving?" he asked gravelly. What he really wanted to know was how long he had to _force_ himself into giving her a reason to stay that he could live with.

Cuddy released her breath, her eyes pained as they fluttered closed for a second. Instead of naming a day, she opened her eyes to look at him and make an admission. "That used to be me," she mumbled.

House looked at her in confusion and after a long pause asked, "What used to be you?"

Cuddy's lips trembled and she almost brushed what she'd said aside to avoid voicing her issue but now that their eyes were locked she couldn't deny him an answer. "It used to be me you flirted with. It used to be my ass you had eyes for," she whispered, a tear unknowingly falling down her cheek.

House looked away, not really knowing what to say to that. "You're jealous of Erika," he clarified. Maybe he should have known that, should have seen that, but honestly, there was no reason for that to be true so it had never occurred to him. Furthermore, he didn't have the faintest idea why she would be. House just recognized that was the only sensible explanation for what she was saying.

She kind of figured that was obvious so she really didn't see the point in responding, not that she was entirely certain it was a question anyway. But that wasn't the full story either and she didn't want him to think this was just a case of her not wanting someone else to have him.

"House, I…" she began when he didn't say anything after a while. Turning her body towards him more, she sought out his eyes and finally managed, "I don't want to move out. I don't want to take Rachel from you anymore than I want to walk away from Evie. But I… I don't think I can stay here and watch you with another woman. I… I want to _be _that woman, _THE _woman for you,too much," she confessed.

House sighed, breaking their eye contact before meeting her gaze once more. "Cuddy, I can't offer you anything," he finally replied quietly. "I can tell you that you don't have anything to be jealous of where Erika is concerned. I can tell you that we're just friends and that's all we will ever be. I can even tell you that she's dating _Wilson, _not _me_ and that if you had watched a little longer, you might have seen him show up. You might have seen her kiss him. I can tell you all that and give you a reason to stay, but… I can't offer you anything. I don't even know why you'd _want _anything. We've had our chances. We've blown our chances. And we're… better off apart."

House fell silent for a moment as Cuddy scrambled to sort through all he'd just said. Erika _wasn't _a threat then. _Wilson _was dating her? And House… this was the second time he'd told her he couldn't offer her anything. But why?! They'd been _miserable_ apart. She knew that had somehow been true for him as well. How could he truly think they were better off separate? Okay. She could understand _why_ he thought that. But what could she say to convince him otherwise? To show him just how good things _could_ be for them?

Before she could say anything at all, House pressed onward. "You can stay or you can go," he mumbled. "But neither you nor I really win here. If you stay thinking that I'm going to change my mind and suddenly wake up wanting a relationship with you, you'll be staying for the wrong reasons and you'll only end up hating me when I _don't_ change my mind."

"You don't want me and Rachel to stay then?" she asked brokenly, not meeting his gaze and completely missing his point.

"I want you to stay. I want both of you to stay," House corrected in a low tone. "But you _should _go. Cuddy, if what you want is… still to be in a relationship with someone, you _should _move out and pursue that. Because it won't be me. It will _never _be me. I… I am done with relationships, Cuddy. I have no interest in being involved with _anyone_ ever again. And… and certainly not with you." His voice changed into almost a whisper and once more he said, "I can't offer you anything," before sliding off the bench and limping from the room, leaving his beer behind.

Cuddy thought about stopping him. She thought about confessing everything that was upon her heart and laying it all out before him right this minute. But he had left her with so much information in the span of two dozen sentences that she almost felt like she needed to process all he'd said and work through it so that she had a better idea of just what she was up against and could then better counter his arguments for why they didn't stand a chance.

She heard his door close but made no move to leave her spot on the piano bench, trying to work through all he'd said. When twenty minutes passed and she felt no closer to an answer, she got up, reaching for his nonalcoholic beer and brought it to her mouth, taking a sip, though beer had never really been her thing and _this _was _gross_. She heated up some spaghetti and picked at it awhile, thoughts swirling in her head. Finally she gave up on eating and tossed what remained away, placing her plate in the dishwasher and starting it up.

Cuddy paused at the foot of the staircase, looking down at the carpeted stairs before her as she listened to the sound of the TV on, coming from House's room. Whatever it was, it wasn't in English. After a minute she headed upstairs and took a shower before getting into bed, reaching for the book she was in the middle of reading. But her eye was drawn instead to the picture she'd printed up and framed just the other day of House and the girls, one her mother had taken some time back, before Cuddy had even been contemplating being a part of this. It sat between the one House had given her for Mother's Day and their family picture which she'd also printed. Picking it up, she ran her thumb over their three faces. She and House… they were both broken. They both had a lot of healing that needed to take place. But she'd rather do that together than apart. In fact, she was convinced it would _only_ happen together, and _not_ by being apart. There was too much hanging in the air between them. It couldn't be ignored forever. Eventually it would have to be expressed. But how else would they heal except by exposing their pain? In Cuddy's mind, that was their greatest obstacle. And for House, she supposed he couldn't see the obstacle it was because he didn't see the road beyond it leading somewhere. So how did she help him see that? How did she point out there was light at the end of the tunnel? Or did she just concentrate on revealing the obstacle and hope he'd then see the road beyond it?

Cuddy just couldn't accept that it was over for them. She knew he'd said they'd had their chance and blown it. She _knew_ that was true – they had been given chances and blown each one. But she _could not accept _that they had exhausted their supply of chances. They'd had too many for there not to be another out there for them, as ridiculous as that might be if one was looking for a logical argument.

Cuddy had known from the moment he'd said Erika was just a friend and would never be anything more that she and Rachel wouldn't be going anywhere. And she _understood_ House believing that wasn't a good reason to stay. It… _wasn't _her reason for staying though. Not exactly. It was just what gave her the final push to do what she wanted to do all along and stay right here with him. He had his reasons for why they couldn't have a relationship beyond the one they had now. And she was sure that his reasons were weighty and numerous – that they would make a long, drawn out, painful list for her to have to hear when he ticked them off to her. And maybe she didn't have as many reasons for why this could work – why it _would _work out for them. But she had the most important one, to her way of thinking anyhow. He loved her. He'd said so. And she loved him. And _somehow, someday_ she was also convinced House's arguments would all capitulate against the weight of what had been meant to be from the first day House literally ran into her on her med school campus; what had started that day and had never really run its course because its course had no end. No, she was holding on. And she'd continue to hold on, even if it was just barely holding on to House however she could. The alternative was unthinkable.

* * *

House clicked the TV off and sprawled out on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He didn't need Cuddy to verbalize it to know that she and Rachel would stay. And he was relieved to know they would. But he had meant what he'd said too. Setting aside the fact that neither had to give up what they'd arrived at in living under the same roof, both of their daughters with them, neither he nor Cuddy won in this. In the end House had told her what she wanted to hear. It wasn't as if she wouldn't have _eventually _pieced together the fact that there was nothing going on between him and Erika anyway. But House didn't _appreciate_ having to tell her _anything._ He was sick and tired of self-disclosure. Somehow it cost him every time he had to tell her something he'd rather just reserve as private. The pain instead of just being a dull ache, roared back to life. And as much as he wanted her here, as grateful as he was to see her actively being a part of Evie's life, there were times when the reality of her presence made him increasingly aware of just how damaged he was and how broken that _thing _in his chest had been by all that had happened between them, even if it was still beating. Even if there were times he wondered if it didn't still beat for _her._ Something inside him _wanted _to set aside his doubts. Something inside him _wanted _to believe. Something inside him_ wanted _to go against his better judgment and allow Cuddy a chance to pursue whatever it was she was after where he was concerned. But there was a brick wall between what House wanted and what House knew to be in the best interest of everyone currently residing under his roof. Cuddy could hold out hope as long as she wanted for _whatever _it was she wanted; probably the perfect little happy family she'd envisioned for herself which he just automatically fell into by being the father of her children. But the only thing he was holding onto was reality. He was damaged goods beyond repair. And that was what he had to work with.

-----

"_**The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight  
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time  
And I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts  
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out**_

_**I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holding on, I'm holding on, I'm holding on  
I'm barely holding on to you**_

_**The broken locks were a warning, you got inside my head  
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead  
And I still see your reflection inside of my eyes  
That are looking for purpose, they're still looking for life**_

_**I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain (in the pain) is there healing?  
In your name (in your name) I find meaning  
So I'm holding on (I'm still holding)**_

_**I'm holding on (I'm still holding)**_

_**I'm holding on (I'm still holding)  
I'm barely holding on to you**_

_**I'm hanging around another day  
Just to see what you will throw my way  
And I'm hanging on to the words you say  
You said that I will, will be okay**_

_**The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone  
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home**_

_**I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing  
With a broken heart that's still beating  
In the pain there is healing  
In your name I find meaning  
So I'm holding on (I'm still holding)**_

_**I'm holding on (I'm still holding)**_

_**I'm holding on (I'm still holding)  
I'm barely holding on to you**_

_**I'm holding on (I'm still holding)**_

_**I'm holding on (I'm still holding)  
I'm barely holding on to you"**_

* * *

Song: "Broken" (Lifehouse)


	78. Fix You

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

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(Sorry this chapter took me so long! Strangely, or perhaps not so strangely, it's hard to write when I'm not at home but on the road and when I'm so frustrated with the show that I can't bear to be any more depressed than the writers are causing me to be. Hope you enjoy this chapter! I personally wish we could fast-forward five or ten chapters and really get moving but this is nothing if not a SLOW process of recovery, with lots of setbacks along the way. Thank you to misssunshine13 who recommended this song!! I am very grateful!)

* * *

May 22nd, 2011

House was in the kitchen making breakfast the next morning, Evie in her highchair not too far away from him, when Rachel and Cuddy came down.

"Daddy, we having pancakes?" Rachel asked, sniffing the air dramatically while Cuddy went to press a kiss to Evie's forehead.

He glanced Rachel's way, nodding. "Chocolate chip pancakes," he replied, giving her a small smile.

"Mmm!" she mumbled happily, turning to her mommy and stretching her arms up to be helped into her booster seat.

House poured Rachel a sippy cup of milk while Cuddy helped her into her seat. He then walked over to the table to give Rachel her milk.

"Morning," Cuddy softly greeted.

"Morning," House replied, though he didn't quite meet her eyes. Heading back to the stove, he flipped the pancakes out onto a plate before turning the stove off. "I think Evie's more than ready to try table food," he said then, bringing a bowl of scrambled eggs over to the table, along with the pancakes. "If you want you can cut a pancake up for her and see what she thinks."

Cuddy watched him go to the highchair which was midway between where he was working and the dining room, carrying it carefully over to the table, Evie squealing happily at the free ride. With the exception of the fact that House couldn't seem to look at her, he was pretending like nothing had happened yesterday. She didn't know what to make of that and stared quite critically as she attempted to sort him out. "I'd love to," she responded, turning her attention to the pancakes. She cut up a couple pancakes for Rachel and gave her some eggs before cutting another pancake into smaller bits for Evie.

House brought milk and juice over to the table, along with a plate of toast and containers of butter, peanut butter, and jelly, before taking his seat on the other side of Evie. He watched as Evie reached for the first piece of pancake that Cuddy placed on her tray, concentrating on it as she picked it up with her fist and then shoved her whole fist into her mouth. House chuckled at Evie's expression as she removed her fist from her mouth, minus the pancake, already reaching for another piece although she hadn't swallowed the first one yet.

"Pace yourself kid," he wryly instructed, reaching out to brush a slight curl from her face.

House turned to Rachel, adding a slice of toast with peanut butter and jelly to her plate. Normally Rachel was a chatterbox at mealtimes but she had already started chowing down on her pancakes and House just watched her for a moment, an eyebrow raised, before putting some eggs and a couple pancakes on his own plate.

"We're going to stay," Cuddy softly murmured, glancing at House after filling her own plate with food.

He nodded in acknowledgement but didn't reply, nor did he look at her, placing a forkful of eggs in his mouth as he focused his attention on his breakfast. Cuddy bit her lip, thinking maybe she had said that wrong, and then softly added, "I didn't _want_ to leave. I just... didn't think I could stay. I'm sorry, House. Please, can we stay?"

House sighed but looked up at her finally. "_I _never said you had to leave," he muttered. "_You _said you were leaving. I told you last night. Do what you want. If you want to stay, stay."

Cuddy studied him and in exasperation said, "I'm trying here!"

House stared at her calmly and cleared his throat before quietly replying, "I know you are trying. I just don't know what you are _trying to do._"

Rachel had already stopped eating and was watching them, not understanding what was going on. Evie was likewise staring at them, blinking innocently.

"I don't want to lose the progress we've made because I acted the way I did and said what I did yesterday," she mumbled, her eyes saddened by the distance back between them. "I don't _want _to return to being strangers in this house, uncomfortable with one another."

"Cuddy, we _are _strangers," he replied pointedly.

"No, we aren't!" she argued. "We're still the same people! Circumstances of life have changed. And maybe some parts of us _have_ changed. But not _that _much. Not _everything. _We've both lived through some _really hard _circumstances, but we're little by little recovering and in time…"

House looked at her, his eyes sad and expression one of pity. "I havechanged. Not completely. But more than you know. And I will _never _be the man I used to be. You… you've changed too. Perhaps you just don't realize it because… maybe it isn't to the extent of how I've changed. But, in any case, we don't really know each other anymore. Not as well as you think we do."

"Then let's _change_ that! _Tell _me who you are! Because I _want _to know, House! I _want _to hear how you've changed! I want to know _why _you've changed!" she demanded.

House noticed the girls were staring at them uncertainly and reached for a couple of the crisper, smaller pancakes, juggling them for Rachel until she giggled, causing Evie to giggle as well, and finally both girls started eating again. Cuddy stared at him the whole time, though she pretty much wanted to strangle him now for acting juvenile when she wanted to have a serious conversation.

House set the pancakes down on his plate, feeling reassured that the girls were at ease, and took a bite of his eggs. "You don't think I've changed?" he finally asked, an eyebrow raised as he directed his attention to her.

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Of course I think you've changed," she amended. "In good ways," she added reassuringly. "I just have to look at how you are with the girls to see that."

_Of course_ she would look at his relationship with the girls and therein interpret whatever had changed within him to classify as _good _changes. But House hadn't been talking about _good _changes. And Cuddy… didn't have the first clue about who he was anymore. House looked away in disbelief and Cuddy's forehead wrinkled before she skeptically asked, "You don't think you're a good father?"

His head jerked back in her direction knowing their thoughts were on completely different planes but he scrutinized her a second before simply saying, "Right now I think I am."

"And you… think that's going to _change?_" she inquired, not understanding what was going on in his head.

"It _could,_" House replied honestly. Though he hadn't been trying to make that point, it was nevertheless true. "I could screw it all up tomorrow."

"You won't," she responded confidently.

Now it was House's turn to roll _his _eyes. He could take a statement like that from Wilson or Cameron or Erika, because Wilson and Cameron would _want _to believe that and Erika had no reason _not _to believe that. Cuddy both knew better and well… maybe she'd want to believe that too but the Cuddy he knew ever since he'd returned from Mayfield wouldn't be _disposed _to believing that.

"You _don't _know that," House said pointedly. "You don't know what tomorrow will bring. I mean, I'm working _hard _to be the best dad I can, but that doesn't mean tomorrow I won't mess up. And could you _just _make up your mind already about where you stand? One year you're an idealist, the next a realist, and now we're back to you being idealistic with me again. Where is this hopefulness suddenly coming from? You used to be optimistic. But you were also the one who fully _expected_ to have to pick up the pieces _when_ I failed. Not _if _I did. _When _I did. You even made that part of _your _job. Don't get me wrong. I never would have been at PPTH as long as I was if you hadn't. But _now _you don't think there's a good possibility I will screw it all up tomorrow?! You haven't been idealistic where I'm concerned since before Mayfield. When did _you _become so hopeful about what I'm capable of? I don't mean 'when did you think the good I could accomplish would cancel out the bad.' That's your standard form of optimism with me. I mean when did _you _start_ believing_ in _me?"_

Cuddy gaped at him but he calmly got up from the table, grabbing a clean washcloth and wetting it down to clean Rachel up as she was done eating and back to staring at them. "Why don't you go find your shoes so we can take Monster outside?" he quietly suggested to her, tugging on a lock of her hair.

Rachel nodded and ran off to find her shoes while House turned his attention to Evie, washing her up.

"You don't think I believed in you?" Cuddy asked softly.

House huffed out a weary breath and replied, "You hired me knowing I was a screw-up because _financially_ you knew I was a great bargain and believed in my abilities _as a doctor_. You've said so yourself. I _know _you did so believing the good I could do at PPTH would outweigh the costs of having me there. I got that. And down the road I think there may have even been a point where you _did _believe in me, not _just _as a doctor but _as a man._ But then… you didn't. You _didn't _believe in me. I was back to being a total screw-up, even in _your _idealistic eyes. Or maybe you never had believed in me personally, it was all in my mind, and you just figured you were so _desperate_ that you'd _settle_ for a screw-up. I don't know. It no longer matters. I even probably deserved it. No, I _did_ deserve it. Regardless, you didn't believe in me. And _now_ you claim to believe I won't screw it all up with the girls?! That's almost comical, really, if you seriously believe that. Because every other time you've believed in me, you've eventually _stopped _believing in me. How many times does it take before you learn your lesson and _stop _believing in me altogether, permanently? Because you don't have any _reason _to believe I won't screw up here too. It's not reasonable to believe that when you _know perfectly well _I've screwed up every other time. But I guess if you were looking for an area in which I _haven't _changed, congratulations, because you found it. This is one area I would agree with you in. I _am _a world-class screw-up. Always have been. Always will be."

Rachel came running back into the room and House caught her when she launched herself at him, setting her up on the island to put her shoes on for her, lacing them up, his face relaxing slightly from where it had been set in stone moments ago. He _hated _being this transparent with Cuddy but if he had no choice but to convince her she couldn't have what she wanted, this was the way. They would never _be _a perfect little family. Not that he really knew of all that many perfect little families anyway. All he knew was that in a family, even in this family, he'd always be the imperfect part, keeping the rest from coming anywhere close to attaining perfection. Cuddy was screwed up. But… she was redeemable. He strangely believed after the seven weeks he'd been around her with Evie that she could make her way back from this. He… _couldn't. _But even if he could, there were very few high moments he could look back at in life and consider himself to have been better off in, at least from a personal perspective, because he wouldn't actually trade his life right now, with Evie in it and now Rachel too, for anything.

"I don't believe that, House," Cuddy said quietly once she'd recovered a bit from his words, getting to her feet, unbuckling Evie and pulling her free from the highchair before heading towards him. "Maybe I _haven't_ always believed in you, but… you weren't wrong in thinking I believed in you before… not just as a doctor but… as a man," she whispered. "And… I don't believe you are a world-class screw-up. Nor do I think you will screw up with the girls."

House lifted Rachel down off the counter and took her hand before looking at Cuddy. "That's a mistake on _your _part Cuddy," he replied evenly. "And as pathetic as it may seem to you as a _rediscovered_ idealist, I'd much rather have you _not _believe in me than to have you romanticize me into some _hero _or potential _boyfriend. _At least with the former, I know where I stand and how to deal with that. I won't be caught by surprise when the building comes crashing down around me. With the second, I'm stuck not knowing what to do with you _except_ to rebuff you. You don't want to treat each other as strangers? Then _stop_ pretending like there's hope for you and I to have a relationship. Stop pretending you and I can be something we've _never been. _You be mom to the girls and I'll be dad. And just… call it good. Accept as I have that while there is a shared history between the two of us, it is history for a reason."

"Don't you think that's a sad perspective to take? To ask me _not _to believe in you?" Cuddy asked sorrowfully after a moment, unable to acknowledge the last part of what he'd said.

House looked at her somberly and shrugged. "Only because I've never had to ask before. Up until now, you've always stopped believing on your own. Frankly, I'm just saving us both trouble. You'd end up there anyway."

Cuddy sighed heavily because this was one of the first times House was being straightforward with her about _anything _standing between them and he wasn't speaking with anger or hurt but… simply resigned that what he was saying was exactly how things were and how they'd been. For him, what he was saying was truth and just in need of both of their acceptance. She could argue with fiery passion, if he'd offer it to her. Yet all he was giving her was cool logic and everything he said came out in such a way that she wasn't so sure he wasn't right in how he'd summed up the past. Well, he wasn'tright. But she could see where he was coming from and why he believed as he did and _that… _sucked.

"Other people believe in you," she managed to say, moistening her lips.

"Then consider me at quota. I don't need or want you to believe in me Cuddy," he stated plainly. And he meant it. He _didn't _need or want her to believe in him. That was one more person he'd potentially fail, and unfortunately, the one who he could least afford to have holding him to high standards and leading _him _to hold himself to high standards. The cost of expected failure was high enough with Cuddy; the cost of allowing her to believe even higher; the cost of asking her to believe in him _and_ to _then _fail, impossibly and unimaginably crippling. He had enough self-induced pressure upon him without adding her expectations to that which already weighed him down.

He'd said all he needed to, House decided. Scooping up the puppy and heading for the door he changed the subject and informed her, "I'm going bowling with Wilson this afternoon and if you don't care, I'd like to take both of the girls. Erika and Trevor will probably come to. If you want, you are welcome to join us."

Cuddy stared at him, so thoroughly bewildered by how he'd just closed the door on their conversation and then proceeded to extend an invitation her way. She might have accepted the invite if it hadn't been for the fact that she didn't even know how to handle _this, _let alone how to go from this to being with him _and _everyone else too. "I should probably take that time to get some of the work I brought home with me done," she said in excuse, knowing she'd spend the majority of the time trying to process and work through this conversation even if her intention _was _to get some work accomplished.

House nodded. "But Rachel can go?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied easily.

"Okay," he responded before turning and pulling open the door for Rachel to go out ahead of him.

Evie started to complain and Cuddy asked, "Why don't you take her outside too and I'll clean up from breakfast?"

House came back to take her but said, "I can clean up when I get back in."

"No, I'll do it. You made breakfast," Cuddy responded.

House shrugged, turning to go outside before Rachel and Monster were left unsupervised too long. He closed the door behind him, watched Rachel and Monster running in circles in the yard, the dog barking excitedly, and then House pressed his nose into Evie's neck, the baby squirming and giggling in response. He _wasn't _going to mess this up. Not if he could help it. Two little girls depended on him not to. If he could keep Cuddy from getting too close, he should be capable of carrying on as he had since Evie's birth, being the dad both girls deserved to have to the best of his abilities.

* * *

Cuddy rinsed off the dishes, realizing neither she nor House had eaten half of what they'd put on their plates and then placed them in the dishwasher, putting the leftovers away as she went. House hadn't told her how he'd changed or why he had, the conversation having detoured into how he thought _she'd _changed… or was at least waffling in where she stood. But somehow she didn't think he _would _tell her what she'd asked him to. House undoubtedly found it irrelevant. He wasn't looking for her understanding. He was looking for her to move on.

Cuddy thought back over what he'd said. Their banter regarding why she'd hired him had always been House arguing it was because one night he'd given her all she ever wanted, referencing their one night together way back in med school, while she contested that it was because she'd gotten him cheap, no one else wanting him. But House had _never_ believed she'd hired him for the reason she offered so how could he claim to now? _She _certainly had known it was crap, though House's reason was not true either. She thought back to that day when she and Cameron had gone to Alfredo's house to search for toxins and Cameron had asked her why she didn't fire House since they always fought and Cuddy hated him and she'd replied to say she didn't hate him and the better question to ask would be why she'd _hired _him in the first place, though Cameron had not asked and she certainly hadn't volunteered the answer, not that she could have been honest with her anyway.

House had perhaps been closer to the truth while in her office with Stacy, in suggesting she believed the world could be better than it was and he along with it, but even that was only a small part of the whole. Reality was she'd lost him once. She _couldn't _lose him again. She _couldn't _watch him walk away a second time, even if they _weren't_ in a relationship and he _was_ with Stacy at the time. Not when he'd so recently reentered her life and stirred the pot of emotions within her where he was concerned.

She'd believed in him. For the most part in the years that followed she'd believed in him even when he took away all reason_ to_ believe in him, _time after time_. Until… until Mayfield, as he'd said. Then her idealism had taken a hard hit due to a dose of reality and… she _personally _couldn't _handle_ believing in him anymore. She couldn't handle the costs of holding out for something that was not ever going to happen. Cuddy put the last pan in the dishwasher and started it up before moving to the breakfast nook to watch him with the girls outside. Now she _did _believe in him again. She couldn't _not _believe in him. Certainly never with any permanency. And with the girls… he was great. Did he not see that or did he really just believe himself to be the "world-class screw-up" he claimed to be? And where in the world did all these doubts come from?

Cuddy sighed, her heart burdened. He was going to continue rebuffing her and pushing her away if she kept pressing him. Perhaps she needed to just back off and try and get to know the person he thought he now was in other ways. She had five days until his mother's visit. She wondered what _that _would look like.

* * *

House pulled open the door to the bowling alley at 2 p.m. and ushered Rachel in ahead of him before stepping through the door with Evie and her diaper bag, heading for his and Wilson's lane.

"House!" Trevor shouted, waving at him.

House chuckled but then approached him with the girls. "Hey Trevor," he greeted the boy, rifling his hair. "You here to show us how it's done?"

Trevor looked at him like he was crazy. "I don't know how to bowl," he informed him. "I've never been bowling before."

"Hey House," Erika said, coming to stand next to them. She squatted down then, bringing herself to Rachel's level and asking, "And how are you, Rachel? Are you going to learn how to bowl today too?"

Rachel nodded, smiling. House placed a hand on her head and said, "She's going to show us all up."

Erika laughed and stood back up before saying, "Well, as far as I'm concerned, it shouldn't be too hard to show _me _up. I haven't bowled in years. Where's Lisa?" she asked then, reaching out to rub Evie's back, the baby asleep on House's shoulder.

"Had work to do," House replied. "Where's Wilson?"

He's off tracking down the guy in charge of the bumpers so that Trevor and Rachel, okay, probably me too, can use the other lane without bombing out every time," she explained, smiling in self-depreciation.

"Hey House," Wilson said, approaching from behind with a box of pizza balanced on one hand while in his other hand he held a six-pack of pop.

Erika took the pizza from him while House returned the greeting, Wilson setting the six-pack down before greeting Rachel.

Sitting down near her, Wilson said, "What color ball do _you_ want to use? They have a pink one, a purple one, and a green one just about your size."

"Pink," Rachel declared happily.

"You want to come with me to go get it?" Wilson offered, holding out his hand for her to take after getting back to his feet.

Rachel looked at House uncertainly but he reassuringly said, "You can go with Uncle Wilson to pick out a ball. He'll carry it back here for you."

Rachel turned back to Wilson then, slipping her little hand in his. House watched the two go over to a nearby rack of balls, retrieving one for Rachel.

Erika offered him a bite of her slice of pizza and then offered, "I can hold Evie while you pick out a ball. We can just pass her back and forth between the three of us as we play."

"I have a blanket in her diaper bag. I just figured I'd lay her down across the chairs while she sleeps," he replied.

Erika finished her slice, wiped her hands, and then reached for the diaper bag, finding the blanket and unfolding it for him so that he could lay her down.

Out of nowhere, House heard a familiar voice say, "Hey guys," and turned around to see Cameron coming up with Chase alongside her, carrying baby Elliot in his carrier.

"Hey!" Erika declared. "You were able to come! That's great! I've been hoping to meet Elliot. He's beautiful!"

"Thanks," Cameron replied, looking at the baby before she looked at Chase, who was smiling rather proudly.

House looked from Cameron to Chase in surprise. "No one told me the Aussies were coming," he replied instead of greeting them properly.

'Wilson invited us this morning," she admitted. "He dropped by to visit and mentioned you were all going bowling and to come if we had nothing better to do."

"Do you even know _how _to bowl?" House asked Cameron skeptically.

She gave him a dirty look and muttered, "Just for that, I'm going to kick you to the curb with my mad skills."

House scoffed just as Wilson returned with Rachel.

"Nice pink ball, Wilson," Chase taunted.

Wilson drolly looked his way but didn't reply.

Rachel ran over to House and asked, "See my pink ball, daddy? Pretty, huh? Got big swirlies on it."

Cameron looked at Rachel in shock, both in her being present without Cuddy and at hearing her label House "daddy." Chase also lifted an eyebrow. But House lifted Rachel up, admiring her ball for her benefit before Wilson placed it with the others.

"Did she just call you daddy?" Cameron asked House, looking from him to the little girl in his arms.

"Yes," he replied firmly, his expression warning her not to question this.

Her eyes widened but it wasn't like she was going to say anything more about it right here, right now. Cameron wondered how Cuddy felt about that. She wondered if it pissed her off or if Cuddy herself had encouraged it. In any case, if House was okay with it, that was his call to make. Rachel probably needed a daddy and House _was _a good choice, not to mention the biological father of Rachel's baby sister.

"Is Evie here or is she with Cuddy?" Cameron asked.

House gave her a funny look, one that made her think he thought she was crazy to think he'd leave Evie with Cuddy while he went bowling, before he gestured in the direction behind her.

Glancing back, she saw Evie sleeping peacefully in one of the chairs. She smiled and went over to brush the baby's hair back from her face, feeling as if it had been _forever _since she'd seen her. Looking back at House she said, "I thought Sundays were one of the days Cuddy got to see Evie. How is it you have Evie _and _Rachel here? Are you meeting up later so that she can get some time in with Evie or was she already with her this morning?"

Erika and Wilson both looked at House, who looked at Cameron, knowing he might as well face the music while he had people around to stop her from questioning him too much. Cameron noticed everyone appeared to be waiting for House to say something and she looked at him in confusion. "Sunday _is _one of her three days to see Evie, right?"

"One of seven at the present. Cuddy and Rachel are temporarily living with me and Evie," House finally admitted, thinking he came pretty close to that no longer being the case just last night.

"She's what?!" Cameron sputtered in disbelief, when she could speak again. "_Living _with you?!"

"She and Rachel are using the upstairs bedrooms," House calmly informed her, glancing at Chase who was clearly just as shocked by this news as his wife.

"_Why _are they living with you?" Cameron pressed as House knew she would. "And why would you _agree _to that?"

"Evie's had a hard time with this life change," he replied with a shrug. "She's coming around slowly now but for her sake, it seemed like a good solution. I've got to do what's best for my kid. It was my idea. Not Cuddy's. And it means Rachel's around too, which works for me. I… love her. She's become my kid too." He didn't know if that would be enough to convince Cameron to leave the subject alone for now and to get her to believe this wasn't as bad for him as she might think it was, but it was the truth.

Cameron studied him doubtfully but Erika was actually quick to step in on House's behalf, waylaying the conversation. "So Cameron, how are you and Chase adjusting to parenthood?"

Cameron turned to look at her, smiling. "He's been a really easy baby so far," she admitted, glancing at her sleeping son.

House took the opportunity to go select a bowling ball for himself, glancing up as Chase came alongside him, Cameron still talking with Erika about the baby.

Chase grabbed a ball, testing it out. House waited for it, knowing a question was coming.

"You sure about this?" Chase asked suspiciously. "You know I'm going to go home this evening and have to reassure my wife you can take care of yourself."

House gave him a doleful glance, though the younger blond man wasn't looking at him but inspecting another ball, turning it over to slip his fingers in the holes.

"Yep," he replied easily, despite rolling his eyes. "I'm sure. And I _can _take care of myself. But this isn't about me and it's not about Cuddy. It's about Evie. And if there comes a point where I can't handle it, then _I'll _be the one to remedy the situation. Tell your wife that the boss is a _big boy_ now and she should focus on enjoying what remains of her maternity leave because her time's running out and she has to eventually return and save me from the idiots who have taken her place, not Cuddy, who I can handle on my own."

Chase nodded curtly, making his selection. He straightened then before allowing a smile to quirk on his lips. "We got your back though mate, eh?" he quipped, his Australian accent laid on double-thick for entertainment purposes.

House grabbed the ball he was going to use and straightened as well, turning to smirk Chase's way. Changing the subject he asked confidentially, "Is Cameron as good at bowling as she claims?"

Chase sobered, giving him a pointed look. "_Unfortunately_, she _is_," he admitted.

"Then you better want to make sure someone has _your _back," House taunted. "Because the person with the lowest score after the first frame is demoted to the bumper bowling lane and relegated to kid duty. And unless Erika is worse at bowling than you are, I'm thinking you're in danger of having the lowest score."

Chase gave him a dirty look before turning and walking away, but House chuckled to himself when he witnessed him shoot Erika a concerned glance seconds later where she stood chatting with Cameron and Wilson.

* * *

While House waited for everyone else to take _their_ turns, _he_ was actually the one giving Trevor instructions on how to hold the ball properly, teaching him various techniques. Rachel was really too little for bowling but House would squat with her between his legs and place his hands to the sides of hers, helping her set the ball in motion and cheering for her along with everyone else when various pins fell. Once Evie woke up, she pretty much got passed from one person to the next, as Erika had guessed she would. Rachel got tired of playing by the time the adults were halfway through their game and then she spent time flitting between Erika, Cameron, and Elliot, chatting away, her mouth going a mile a minute.

House was all too aware of how she was stealing the show, which all three of the guys appreciated, hoping that the women would be distracted enough to throw their focus off, since Erika was actually not half bad at bowling, steadily improving each frame as she got back into the game, and Cameron was neck and neck with Wilson, Chase just behind and House just ahead. Trevor polished off what was left of the second box of pizza they'd ordered, once he was bowled out. And then it was just the adults, though by that time they only had one more frame to go. In the end Wilson got the highest score, Cameron scoring three points less than Wilson and sadly, one point more than House, though he told everyone that was only because Evie had started to cry as he'd released his last ball and distracted him from the game. Cameron just shot him a smug look before turning to take Elliot to the bathroom for a diaper change.

* * *

House opened the garage door and Rachel ran into the house ahead of him, calling for her mommy. He followed her into the living room where Cuddy was camped out, paperwork all around her, listening to her daughter excitedly report on her first time bowling. House chuckled at Rachel's enthusiasm, his eyes then meeting Cuddy's as she uncrossed her legs from under her, got to her feet, and approached to press a kiss to Evie's cheek.

"Me knocked down them pins with daddy. And baby Elliot was there with his mommy and daddy. He too little to bowl. He littler than baby G," Rachel continued.

Cuddy looked up at House in surprise. "Cameron and Chase went?" she asked.

"Yeah," he replied. "Wilson invited them this morning."

"Trevor bowled with me in our own lane, right next to daddy's," Rachel added proudly.

"Sounds like I missed out," she said to Rachel, a soft smile on her lips before looking at House. "Thanks for taking her."

He shrugged and held Evie out to her, Cuddy taking the baby from his arms. "She grew tired of bowling pretty quick," he said. "Rachel spent most of her time talking with Erika and Cameron."

Cuddy nodded and then directed her attention to Evie. "Did you have a good time?" she asked her, brushing the baby's hair back as Evie babbled nonsense.

Glancing at House, she said, "Her hair is _really _starting to get curly, isn't it?"

House studied Evie and nodded, reaching out to stroke her cheek. "Your mom said yours went curly around nine months. Looks like Evie's hair intends to do the same. I was going to go call my mom about this weekend. You have the girls or do you need me to take them so that you can finish up?"

Cuddy looked at him, wide-eyed at hearing he was going to call his mother, but nodded. "I'm pretty much done anyway. I'll pack up my stuff and then maybe take the girls outside for a while. Cookie Monster slept most of the time you guys were gone. It's probably time he goes outside again."

House nodded and said, "I'm going to call her from my room," before turning and heading out of the living room.

Cuddy watched him go, biting her lip. When he had come back inside that morning, she'd decided she _would_ back off and rather than attempting to involve him in conversation or say anything at all to him, she'd focused on the girls and on… being mommy, as he'd basically asked her to, the rest of what he'd asked of her things she… just couldn't do. House had disappeared for a time, which hadn't really surprised her at all, but when he'd come back out and joined them, things had been alright and for the present, she supposed they would continue to be. At least she didn't have to worry he was moving on without her, she tried to comfort herself. House had said just last night he had no intention of ever being involved with anyone ever again. But… what did he mean by that? Granted, House had never been one to pursue serious relationships. In all the time he'd worked at PPTH, Stacy had been the only girlfriend she'd known of. So was this just… an offshoot of the fact that he'd never wanted a serious relationship before this and what had… happened between them had only reinforced that or was this… a _result_ of what had happened between them?

Cuddy rubbed a hand over her face, thinking she'd go crazy if she kept thinking about him all the time and trying to analyze why he said what he said and did what he did. Adjusting Evie in her arms, she told Rachel it was time to take the dog outside and then they tracked down Monster on his dog pillow in the kitchen before heading outside.

* * *

House entered his mother's phone number and then waited as it rang. He'd talked to her briefly on Mother's Day but not much since. Now was as good a time as any to break the news about Cuddy and Rachel. Since things hadn't gone half bad with Cameron, though he supposed that had _a lot _to do with how many other people were around at the time, he figured he might as well stop pushing this off and 'fess up to his mom that Cuddy was in the picture.

"Greg, honey!" Blythe answered in delight. "How are you? How's my grandbaby?"

"Hi mom," he replied. "Evie's good. We're looking forward to your visit. How are you?"

"Good! I'm good! I'm looking forward to seeing you both too! It's been so long!" she said with a sigh. "I've already packed; if that's any indication of how eager I am for Friday to arrive."

House chuckled but then sobered and said, "So I have something I need to tell you before you come."

Blythe paused, caught off guard and then breathily asked, "What is it?"

"Uh, Cuddy came to me last month and asked if she could be a part of Evie's life again. Right now, she and her other daughter Rachel are living here. She's staying in the room you'd normally stay in and Rachel has the other bedroom upstairs. It's not permanent. It's just until Evie and Cuddy get familiar with one another. But it means that I've rented a hotel room for you this weekend, not too far away. You'll be welcome here anytime but I don't have another room set up to offer you and I think you'll be more comfortable in a hotel anyway," he rushed to add.

When a minute passed with no response, House frowned and asked, "You still there?"

"Lisa came to you _last month _and you are only telling me this _now?!"_ Blythe inquired in disbelief.

House pinched the bridge of his nose but muttered, "I needed some time to adjust to this."

"Before telling your own _mother?"_ she asked skeptically. "Gregory House, I could have _helped_ you adjust to this! I could have been there to _support _you!"

House came very close to scoffing but held himself in check. "There was nothing for you _to do_, mom."

"Humph," she grunted. "She's been living with you this whole time?"

"No. She and Rachel only moved in a couple weeks back," he corrected.

"Why'd she change her mind?" Blythe asked then, frowning.

"You'd have to ask her," House replied, not wanting to get into that and not completely sure what kind of answer existed for her question. He supposed he needed to discuss this impending visit with Cuddy and figure out what she _wanted_ his mother to know. Not that he was looking forward to _that _conversation.

"Well, I believe Georgia needs her mother around but I _must admit_, I am surprised to hear that Lisa is involved now after all this time," she stated pointedly. "And I imagine it's better that she's living with you than that… Are you two getting together then?" she interrupted herself.

"No!" House huffed out immediately. "I told you this was temporary. She's _only _living here so that she can be close to Evie and so they can get to know each other. That's the _only _reason."

Blythe narrowed her eyes as she contemplated her son's response. "You don't want her back or she doesn't want you back?"

"We were never together in the first place," he muttered, hating the question.

"Well now, I just don't understand that. What is the world coming to when people have babies and aren't even together?" she asked in frustration.

House's jaw slackened and he _almost _reminded her that she'd been married to someone when she'd gotten pregnant with him, the son of a man who _wasn't _her husband. Instead he just dryly replied, "It happens. But can we _not _talk about this?"

She sighed but acquiesced, "I suppose."

"You're okay with staying in a hotel?" House asked, not that she had much choice.

"Yes, that's perfectly alright. And I'll have the car so getting back and forth shouldn't be a problem," she responded.

House gave her the hotel information, check-in time, and then got an approximate time of arrival. "Well, I really need to go prepare Evie a bottle. But I'll see you around 3 p.m. on Friday?" he queried.

"Plan on 4 p.m. because I'll probably stop and drop my things off at the hotel first," his mother informed him.

"Okay. We will see you then," House said.

"Bye honey. Give Georgia a kiss for me and… tell Lisa I'm looking forward to having a chat with her come Friday," Blythe added.

House cringed, hoping he didn't have to play mediator for _anyone_ this weekend. "I'll do that," he said anyway. "Bye mom."

He hung up the phone then and raked a hand through his hair, wondering what he was getting himself into. At least that conversation had gone as well as it had. He'd put in double the effort he normally would to keep the conversation as positive as possible. That was probably the _only _reason he'd survived it without beating his head against the wall.

* * *

"Hey Cameron," Wilson said, answering his phone.

"Hi Wilson," she replied, slipping out of Elliot's room and heading for her living room to take a seat on the couch. "Do you have a few minutes to chat?"

Wilson had pretty much expected to hear from Cameron after the mini-dialogue between her and House at the bowling alley so he hadn't been at all surprised to see her name and number pop up on his cell phone screen. "Yeah, what's up?" he asked, heading into his kitchen to grab a beer from the fridge.

"Um… I actually just wondered… you know, about the situation with House. He didn't say how long Cuddy and Rachel have been living with him. All I know is that he mentioned Evie was struggling. And maybe it really isn't any of my business but I guess what I wanted to know is… how is Cuddy doing?" she concluded softly.

Wilson raised an eyebrow, surprised to get _that _particular question from Cameron. "You want to know how _Cuddy _is doing?" he echoed in confusion.

Cameron moistened her lips and sighed. "Well, of course I want to know how House is doing in all this but… he seemed to be alright today. And I just figure… if Cuddy is living with him, even temporarily, how she's doing probably affects how he's doing so… since Chase isn't at PPTH right now and I don't really want to ask House about Cuddy, I thought I might as well check in with you," she explained. "But maybe you don't really know."

"I see her at work," he admitted. "We don't talk _a lot _but I do see her and we're cordial. She's... Cuddy when I run into her at PPTH; professional and constantly busy. And when I went over to the house a week ago Saturday to visit House and Evie, she was there. She moved in… two weeks ago yesterday, right after Elliot was born. I think she's doing okay. I _believe _she really is trying to be a good mother to Evie. She… did come by my apartment a week and a half ago, asking if we could maybe try and be friends again," he confessed hesitantly.

"What did you say?" Cameron asked, surprised to hear that piece of news.

"I told her maybe in time," Wilson replied honestly.

"And… when you see her over at House's? How do you think he's doing, having her live there?" she couldn't resist asking.

"I didn't see her yesterday but a week ago she seemed to be doing alright. They both appear to be very focused on the girls," he said, pursing his lips.

"He said today that he considers Rachel to be his," Cameron remarked. "I… didn't know he felt so strongly about her."

"Well, if you think about it, House was around Rachel from time to time while Cuddy was pregnant," he began, opting not to expand on that. "And when Cuddy's mom would come over to see Evie, she usually brought Rachel with. I think they've developed their own relationship along the way and House _does _act like Rachel is his kid too now."

"Do you think House and Cuddy are going to… pursue a relationship together?" Cameron had to ask.

Wilson frowned. "House still asserts that he's not interested. And I haven't seen him treat Cuddy otherwise. I really do think she's living there only because of Evie. At least as far as House is concerned."

"And you think he's doing alright?" she pressed, deciding she _didn't _want to contemplate what Cuddy might be hoping for in living with House.

"I think he's enjoying having Rachel around," Wilson admitted. "And while he hasn't said how he feels about Cuddy being there, I would guess things have been alright so far. House… probably doesn't need us to protect him as much as we might think we need to. He's got his own walls built around him to protect him from Cuddy now." Wilson thought about adding that House was seeing someone to help him through Cuddy's involvement in Evie's life but didn't want to violate House's privacy any more than he already was in talking with Cameron about things, though honestly, he was pretty sure House would rather he talk to her than have to talk to her _himself._

"Okay, well, I suppose I should let you go but… thanks for letting me check in with you on everything and… giving me some peace of mind regarding this… development," Cameron replied.

"No problem," Wilson responded before dryly saying, "I know all about worrying about House."

Cameron smiled. "I know you do," she agreed.

"Night Cameron. Hope that baby doesn't keep you up all night," he added teasingly.

"He won't. Though he _does _wake up every three hours like clockwork," she threw in. "But Chase is good about doing what he can. Goodnight Wilson. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye," Wilson replied, hanging up.

He set his cell phone down on the counter and allowed himself to replay the conversation in his head. Cameron was probably right, he thought then. How Cuddy was doing _had _to affect House now that they were living under the same roof, not just in how she was managing with Evie but all around. Maybe it was time he tried to be more supportive of her, as Cuddy had asked him to. He certainly wasn't doing anything to _not _support her, but maybe he needed to try _harder_, especially at PPTH, at least to check in on her from time to time. Wilson sighed, committing himself. Cuddy had said she could use a friend at PPTH and while they had a long ways to go and might never attain that, he _could _take a bigger interest in how she was doing, especially now that House's mom was coming to town this weekend. He wasn't sure who had more to worry about in Blythe's trip into town, Cuddy or House. He just knew he had no intention of being around for this visit, if he could help it.

* * *

Evie was halfway through her bottle when Rachel's eyes drifted shut in sleep and Cuddy carried her upstairs to tuck her into bed. It had been a long day for her and House wasn't surprised that she was the first to succumb to the pull of sleep. Cuddy came back downstairs five minutes later and sat down next to House on the couch, her fingers stroking through Evie's hair as the baby finished her bottle.

"Not to bug you about it, but I wondered if you told your mom about Rachel and I and… how she took the news," Cuddy inquired quietly.

"I told her," he replied, setting the empty bottle aside and adjusting a half-asleep Evie onto his shoulder so that he could rub her back. "She was fine but I'm sure she's going to ask you a lot of questions this weekend, specifically about what made you change your mind and decide to be in Evie's life all of the sudden."

"Did she say what time she'd arrive at?" Cuddy asked, biting her lip.

"The hotel check-in isn't until 3 p.m. and she'll stop there first so she should be here by 4. You don't have to be here when she gets here though," House added. "I'm taking a half day and I'll be here when she arrives. You can show up whenever you want to."

"What do you want me to tell her?" Cuddy queried, nervous about the visit.

"About why you changed your mind?" he clarified, an eyebrow raised.

"About anything," she murmured.

House shrugged. "That's up to you, Cuddy," he told her. "Just don't talk about _me_ with her."

Cuddy looked at him and nodded slowly. Moistening her lips, she said, "I don't care if she knows… about my depression or the fact that I'm in counseling. But… if things get tense or you don't like where the conversation is headed, you'll… step in, right?"

House studied her, recognizing her concern, and then nodded. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable, Cuddy," he stated plainly. "So if she's upsetting you, you can let me know. You're here to be with Evie, not to satisfy my mother's curiosity or field her questions. I… love my mother but she's not… your mother and I have no doubt that this weekend will prove interesting, to say the least. I'll understand if you need to get out for awhile to recover. You're free to come and go as you want. Not that you need me to tell you that."

"Thanks, House," Cuddy murmured, giving him a soft smile, appreciating the fact that he appeared genuinely willing to "protect" her from his mother, should she need it. Cuddy didn't know Blythe _all _that well, but the messages on her phone from way back when were enough to make her hesitant about having to interact with her for the first time since Evie's birth and… all that had happened between her and House.

"I should go put Evie in her crib," House mumbled then, getting to his feet.

Cuddy got up as well, pressing a kiss to the baby's head. "Do you… do you mind if I try and teach Evie who I am?" she asked him, following him towards the baby's room. "I mean, she says dada and I've heard her babble and form the sounds for mama, but… can I try to get her to connect that with… me?"

House looked at her like she was crazy to even ask him as he stepped into Evie's room, turning on the light. "Cuddy, you can work to get her to say whatever you want to," he replied. "One or both of us should probably start working with Rachel to call Evie by her name. If she can say Elliot, I imagine she can make the transition from baby G to Evie, at least. Georgia's probably a bit of a stretch but neither you nor I call Evie that anyway, though both our mothers do."

"Why don't you call her Georgia?" Cuddy asked in curiosity as he went to lay Evie down in the crib.

House shrugged. "I don't know," he replied.

"Can I ask you why you picked Georgia?" she inquired then.

House straightened the blanket over the baby, frowning as he thought about whether he wanted to answer that.

"You don't have to tell me," Cuddy added softly.

"I don't know that I want to tell you, Cuddy," he admitted.

"Then don't," she replied easily.

He glanced at her, almost surprised that she wasn't going to push him, and finally said, "Someday I will."

Cuddy just nodded, determined to wait. If he didn't want to tell her, that probably meant he had a reason that would matter to her, and… she decided it was worth the wait to hear his explanation when _he _wanted to share it. But it was definitely one more thing she was adding to her list of things she was looking forward to knowing the answer to and… reaching the point of having him _want _to tell her.

"Night House," she said then, giving him another soft smile before turning to leave the room and head upstairs.

"Night Cuddy," he replied, watching her leave.

When Cuddy was gone, he turned on the monitor and then the nightlight before flipping the overhead light off and heading from the room. House walked around the house, turning off lights and setting the alarm after taking Monster out one last time. Finally he headed for his room, closing the door behind him.

Though the morning had admittedly started out rocky, the rest of the day had been a vast improvement on yesterday. In some ways he was surprised by Cuddy and in others, he really didn't have the first clue on how to read her. But he was just thankful that she wasn't constantly pushing him to open up to her, something he had no intention of doing and was in fact adamantly opposed to. It was honestly the only reason this living arrangement was working out for them. The Cuddy he'd known at PPTH, well, before her pregnancy, very rarely backed down in a fight, though he supposed their fights had never gotten _that _personal at work and maybe that was part of it. For his part, fighting about a patient with her or something else work-relevant had always been an enjoyable pastime. He'd always looked forward to a good argument with her. But that was definitely _not _true when it involved him _personally._ And he supposed that the same could be said for Cuddy, because when arguments had turned personal for her, she was just as quick to walk away. Still, it was easy to see that Cuddy _wanted _him to open up to her and… let her inside, even as he did everything in his power to _not _do so, unless it was absolutely required in order to get her to back off. House couldn't help but question what this next weekend would look like, with his mother here, undoubtedly asking questions he'd rather she not ask. But at least Cuddy seemed fine with him butting in, should she start to say something he didn't necessarily want his mother to know. And as much as he didn't _want _to have to be the peacekeeper, he didn't mind sparing Cuddy a little grief, especially when he knew if it was enough to bother her, it'd probably be enough to get under his skin too.

* * *

Cuddy showered and then brushed her hair out, contemplating her life. She knew she had a lot to be thankful for and constantly tried to focus on that. Rachel was a very happy little girl and had taken quite naturally to living here. Evie was warming up to Cuddy and would now let her hold her, most of the time even without House's shirt, though truthfully, Cuddy _missed _House's shirts. And she herself was living under the same roof as the man she loved, _both _of her daughters here with her. While she and House _hadn't _worked out much of anything in their relationship, she _couldn't_ say that where they were at was _unpleasant_, necessarily_._ _However_, at the same time there were definitely moments when no matter how hard she tried, no progress seemed to be made. Or maybe it was that every time they did make a little headway, something happened to offset it, making them take two steps back. And here she was _living _with House, but she wasn't _with _him. She _loved_ him, but she'd _lost_ him long ago. And all that love she wanted to pour out upon him, she _couldn't_ because House didn't _want _her love. No matter how much Cuddy wanted to _fix _their relationship and be the one to _mend_ House's heart, she didn't have the first clue as to how to get that done. Their relationship kept stalling out or slipping into neutral or… winding up in reverse. And though Cuddy knew she _had _to _stop_ trying to get out and push their relationship up the hill they were facing, recognizing that she just didn't have the strength to do it on her own, she wanted so _badly _to be on the other side of the hill that her frustration in being incapable of that was enough to reduce her to tears. Cuddy studied her reflection in the mirror, once again wondering what House saw when he looked at her. She hoped the time would come when whatever he saw was better than what he saw right now.

-----

"_**When you try your best, but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want, but not what you need  
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse **_

_**And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone, but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?**_

_**Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you**_

_**And high up above or down below  
When you're too in love to let it go  
But if you never try you'll never know  
Just what you're worth**_

_**Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you**_

_**Tears stream down your face  
When you lose something you cannot replace  
Tears stream down your face  
And I...**_

_**Tears stream down your face  
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes  
Tears stream down your face  
And I...**_

_**Lights will guide you home  
And ignite your bones  
And I will try to fix you"**_

* * *

Song: "Fix You" (Coldplay)


	79. Since You've Been Around

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Sorry it's taken me so long guys! This is my first opportunity to log in! Life is a little hectic when travelling! Hope you enjoy and I'm actually hoping to have the next chapter completed in time to post it tomorrow for you all! Thanks for all the encouragement and eagerness for another update! Enjoy!)_

* * *

May 23rd, 2011

House held out a pamphlet of information for Cuddy when she walked into the kitchen Monday night after work. She had decided to place Rachel at Riverside East's childcare facility, at least for the present, since Evie was already there and she hadn't yet had time to look for another option. She figured if it didn't work out, then she'd hire someone to take care of Rachel at House's during the day.

"If you want you can come take a tour of the daycare sometime this week. I have to return the paperwork by Thursday though so that Rachel will be all set to start next Monday. If you can't come it won't be an issue, since Rachel will be there under my status as an employee," House informed her, bending down to scoop Rachel up.

Cuddy nodded, pressing a kiss to Evie's temple where she sat in the high chair, eating cheerios. "I'd like to visit, though," she admitted before inquiring, "You're sure that you don't mind having to bring both girls back and forth from work with you?"

"The only problem will be Wednesdays. But I can drop Rachel off here before heading to my appointment and if you aren't home yet I can ask and see if Erika will be around to watch her until you get home," he replied. "I doubt she'll have a problem with that."

Cuddy had no clue where he went on Wednesday nights. She just knew it was the one weeknight he had plans outside of Monday night dinners with Erika. She wanted to ask but she wasn't quite sure if she should. Sometimes not knowing was better, though in this case he _did _identify it as an appointment so she doubted it was really the sort of thing that would… cause her concern.

Cuddy bit her lip but asked anyway, "If you don't want to tell me, don't but… where do you go on Wednesday nights?"

House looked at her but hesitantly acknowledged, "I drive out to Mayfield and meet with Nolan."

"Still?" she asked in surprise, never having thought House would stick with counseling, as he'd never been a big believer in shrinks.

House looked away, heading into the pantry to get Rachel a cookie before grabbing out some items to start dinner. Finally he mumbled, "I went a few times after Mayfield but I've been going regularly since April."

"When I asked to be in Evie's life," she concluded for him, watching him as he set dinner preparations down on the island before putting Rachel down on the floor, heading back to close the pantry door.

House didn't reply, just leaving it at that.

Cuddy wondered how hard it had been for him to have her come back on the scene but she thought she'd ask him another time, once they'd… made some progress in their relationship. Instead she said, "I'll plan to be home early on Wednesdays so that I can be here when you drop Rachel off. If you wanted to, you could always leave Evie here with me as well. We've come a long ways. We might be ready for that."

"I like taking Evie with me," he responded dismissively, filling a pot with water and igniting a burner on the stove.

Cuddy nodded. "Do you know if there is a specific timeframe for when someone would be available to give me a tour of the child care facility?" she asked then, changing the subject.

House shrugged. "I've got Ruth's business card. You can give her a call to find out."

"Okay," she replied before querying, "Are Trevor and Erika coming over tonight?"

"No," he responded. "Erika called me on my way home from work. She had to cancel because Trevor's not feeling well and she ended up having to leave work early to pick him up from school."

Cuddy nodded and set the table before asking, "How else can I help you with dinner?"

House glanced her way and said, "If you want to just take the girls, I'll have dinner ready in no time."

"Okay," she replied, giving him a smile before cleaning Rachel's hands and scooping Evie out of her high chair, heading for the living room with both Rachel and Evie.

House watched them go and then turned back to get dinner underway, thinking about how he was looking forward to having Rachel at RE as well.

* * *

Dinner was almost ready when House heard the sound of Evie giggling and turned off the stove to follow the sound, still finding it's draw irresistible after all these months of hearing it. Stepping into the living room, he was surprised to find Cuddy sprawled out on her belly on the ground, despite the skirt and dress shirt she still had on. Cuddy was facing away from him and for a moment he was helpless to avoid allowing his eyes to trace the perfection of the bottoms of her bare feet to the curves of her calves to the back of her knees and the smooth flesh of her thighs. But he redirected his attention immediately upon the girls once his gaze hit the point where her skirt started.

Rachel and Evie were both seated directly in front of Cuddy, Rachel sitting on her knees and Evie on her diaper-clad butt, still giggling as Cuddy tickled her lightly. "Mama," Cuddy encouraged. "Say mama for me."

"Mama," Rachel replied happily, causing Cuddy to laugh and tickle her in turn.

"Not you, silly," she responded. "I know you can say 'mama.' You're my big girl. I'm trying to get your baby sister to say mama for me."

Evie caught sight of House then and launched into a babbling storm of "dada," causing Cuddy to groan, not immediately knowing House was present.

House chuckled and Cuddy glanced back at him with a chagrined smile on her face as he headed over to pick Evie up, rubbing his scruff against her. "Dinner's ready," he said before wryly adding, "And you're lying on the floor in business attire."

Cuddy smiled and shrugged, carefully getting to her feet and brushing herself off before asking, "Did you hear her giggling? I swear it's one of the most beautiful sounds I've ever heard."

House nodded, studying Cuddy's expression, reading the adoration in her eyes as she looked at Evie in his arms before she picked Rachel up, a sense of peace steeling over him. Heading to the kitchen, he couldn't help feeling like he'd made the right call in giving Cuddy a chance to be involved with Evie. The two _had _made progress. Significant progress. There was a certain satisfaction in recognizing that and knowing that Evie's developing relationship with her mother was one area of his life where he _didn't_ feel the need to second guess circumstances right now.

* * *

May 25th, 2011

Cuddy stared at Kate, waiting for her reaction to the summarized report of what had happened over the course of the weekend. She had listened to the entire story without commenting, which had surprised Cuddy somewhat but also freed her to tell all and not lose her train of thought.

"Sounds like it was a rough weekend for both you _and_ House," Kate finally said.

"You could definitely say that," Cuddy replied wryly. "And this next weekend might not be all that much better, being that his mother is coming to town and House believes it's likely that she'll… ask me to explain why I haven't been in Evie's life from the beginning, not that I'd really expect her to _not _ask me that. Still, it makes me wonder just what else she'll want to know."

"That does sound like it could prove challenging," Kate admitted, reading the worry in Cuddy's expression and how she was biting her lip. "But I don't want you to underestimate yourself either. You're doing much better, Lisa. Consider this a test, I guess. And an opportunity. You confide in me but otherwise you haven't had many opportunities to talk about your experiences with others and eventually I think it would be very beneficial for you if you _did _share with someone else, beyond me. And not just House, either. I'm not talking about confiding in House's mom as you would a friend. She's his mom and is bound to be biased towards him. But I'm sure there are things you can tell her to let her know just how much you care for him. _Moreover, _while I'm certainly not suggesting you launch into everything with his mother, being that you and House _don't_ really talk about all that happened between you, this _could _offer you a chance to at least, allow him a glimpse into your world. If she wants to know something and you feel comfortable telling her, I'd go for it. You will probably have moments when you can reveal some of your thoughts and feelings to her in House's presence, and that's far less confrontational than pouring your heart and soul out to someone who could react negatively if you were alone together."

"House might react negatively anyway," Cuddy pointed out. "Just because his mother is present doesn't mean he'll censor himself."

"But it seems to me from what you've said regarding this past weekend, House doesn't blow his cool in front of the girls," Kate reminded. "Maybe the same would apply in his mother's presence."

"He asked me not to talk about him with his mother," Cuddy replied with a sigh. "I… I think I need to respect that request."

"I think you do too," Kate agreed. "But there's a difference between talking about _him _and talking about _you._"

Cuddy nodded, contemplating that a moment before she looked down at her feet and asked, "Why do you think House doesn't want me to believe in him? Maybe that's a silly question, but… I can't choose _not _to believe in him. So I thought maybe it would help if I could better understand _why _he'd want that in the first place. Maybe… maybe then I could make him understand how very much I do love him and… why I _do _believe in him."

Kate shrugged. "I don't know the answer to that. Maybe it's just easier. I mean, he said if you don't believe in him, he at least knows where he stands and how to deal with that. What does that say to you? What does he mean when he says that when the building comes crashing down around him he won't be caught by surprise? House apparently assumes things will fall apart. Perhaps he's concluded the fall-out will be easier this way."

"But it's a sad commentary on life when someone _not _believing in you is preferred," Cuddy mumbled. Sighing, she considered what he'd said once more and finally admitted, "I guess if you believe the sky is going to fall, it's easier knowing no one expected you to hold it up in the first place."

Kate smiled softly. "It _is _a rather pessimistic viewpoint to take," she agreed.

"House… isn't the type of guy to bother wasting time in a debate over whether the glass is half-full or half-empty," Cuddy responded. "In fact, most of the time I think he'd be quick to declare the debate pointless and end it by emptying the glass completely so there was no questioning anything."

"And if you '_romanticize'_ him like he suggested you are doing? It sounds to me like if he allows you to do that, it's not really you he's worried about. To me, it seems like he's afraid of how it will affect him when he does something to make you decide he's not worth believing in. He doesn't want you to get close because _he _can't handle that," Kate suggested. "I don't know for certain, but I think if he loves you as he said he does, then you're facing a battle within him. He probably _does _want your love, but he can't _allow _himself to accept it. I think that's partly why he keeps reinforcing the conclusion he's come to that he can't offer you anything."

Cuddy pursed her lips but then regretfully mumbled, "When House found out about Lucas, we were at a conference. And House and I… we had an argument. If you can call it that. Anyway, I told him… I told him that he'd never be someone I'd want to spend the rest of my life with. And he replied to say that he wasn't sure which one of us was more pathetic, me for standing by him throughout the years, wasting my time and… never believing in him, or him for believing a delusion and thinking I could save him and that I might one day believe everything we'd gone through, everything keeping him in my life had cost me, was worthwhile."

"What did you say to that?" Kate asked curiously.

Cuddy expelled her breath, cringing. "House continued to tell me that things with Lucas would never work out, that I was just as much a screw-up in relationships as he was, and that Lucas wasn't as great a catch as I thought he was. It was all… true but… it certainly wasn't something I appreciated hearing from him. I… we were up on the roof and he'd been walking on the ledge when I found him. I lashed out and… told him to just jump already because I wasn't going to deal with this anymore. Then I left."

Kate stared at her. "You really told him to jump?" she finally asked, struggling to keep her tone even.

"I didn't _mean _it! And I _knew _he wouldn't! Though I… I did worry he might think I _was _genuinely serious and so I called his therapist to… see if he wouldn't talk to House," Cuddy admitted.

"Have you and House talked about this since?" Kate inquired.

"We haven't talked about _anything_," she muttered in frustration.

Kate nodded in understanding and then redirected the conversation back to the weekend before. "So House doesn't want you to believe in him. He decided up on that rooftop that you never believed in him and wasted your time and he wasted his. And now he thinks you do believe in him but he no longer wants you to, maybe in part because he doesn't trust you'll _continue _to believe in him. Perhaps he's even waiting for something to happen to lead to a repeat falling out between you two."

"I _want_ to understand him. I _want_ to know how he's changed and why he has. But he just wants me to move on," Cuddy murmured, depressed by where they stood.

"House needs people to believe in him. We all do. And I think regardless of what he says, he needs you to believe in him, even if right now you _aren't _in a 'relationship'. You're the mother of his children, Lisa. Maybe the best way you can believe in him and show him you do right now _is_ with the girls. You're not married to him, nor are you two divorced, but all the same, you're both parents to your two little girls and… parents need to support each other, if not for one another's sake, for the children involved. You love him, so you want to support him. Clearly if he's asked you _not _to believe in him, it's probably wise to avoid directly saying you 'believe in him'. But you can _show _him you believe in him in other ways; ways that aren't overt and which won't be blatantly obvious. That's part of loving someone. Sometimes you have to find out on your own how to love them best. House… from my perspective on everything you've shared with me today, has more than his share of insecurities in his own abilities to succeed, much as _you _do after all that you've been through in the last couple years. But he's also extremely reluctant to take a chance on you again and that's perfectly understandable after all that you've both been through together. You've clearly had _your_ share of moments when you ran from a relationship with House, believing it couldn't be. You want to understand him. I get that. But House needs to be able to trust you enough to expose his thoughts and feelings to you. And as for how he has or hasn't changed, time will reveal that to you. You want to love him, then you have to be an encouragement to him. You have to be present. You have to show him that you care. And… maybe you have to be around long enough to have him believe in your ability to love him, regardless of whether he screws up," Kate finished.

"I _do _love him," Cuddy murmured breathlessly, leaning back in her chair and resting her head on the chair. "And I'm committed to waiting as long as it takes. But… I wish it didn't have to be so _hard._"

Kate smiled gently and nodded. "You've waited over twenty years already. What's another twenty?" she teased.

Cuddy groaned, lifting her head up to look at Kate. "I'll die of sexual frustration if it takes until the girls are in college to win him over," she quipped honestly.

Kate laughed. "Then I guess we better hope it doesn't take that long," she replied.

"At least I don't have to worry about Erika trying to get her claws in House," Cuddy added, half-jokingly.

Kate laughed again. "I'm sure that _is _somewhat comforting," she acknowledged.

* * *

House entered Nolan's office and sat down in the chair across from Nolan with Evie in his lap, bouncing her with his good leg.

"How are you?" Nolan inquired.

"You always ask me that and I rarely if ever answer. I'm in counseling," House flatly replied, sarcasm lacing his words. "Would I be in counseling if my life was peachy and my outlook on life delightful?"

Nolan chuckled, shaking his head at House's attitude. "How's work?" he substituted for his original question.

"Works fine," House responded. "Cameron's not back yet but I've got her temporary replacements somewhat trained in now. It works. That's enough I guess."

Nolan nodded, looking at the baby who was giggling as House bounced her. "And she looks like she's doing well," he commented.

House looked at Evie, the corners of his mouth turning up. "She's doing great," he admitted. "Even with Cuddy, she's getting along fine. Cuddy doesn't have to wear my shirts to hold her anymore and she's… trying to teach her to say 'mama' and associate that with her."

"Well, at least you have your shirts back," Nolan commented.

House rolled his eyes but that _was _true. Pursing his lips he finally said, "She threatened to move out this weekend."

Nolan raised an eyebrow but waited for House to explain.

He did, telling Nolan all about Saturday and how Cuddy had been jealous of the attention he showed Erika without knowing Cuddy was present to witness their interaction. He recapped what he'd told her that night as well. Then he went back to Friday night and their conversation during the movie. "What am I supposed to think about _that?_" House muttered.

"About the fact that she implied Lucas didn't end up being what she wanted after all?" Nolan clarified.

House looked away but nodded slightly, his expression grim.

Nolan shrugged. "Maybe she meant it. Maybe she _doesn't_ want to be with Lucas. Maybe she really does want to be with you."

"And she just decided that?! Just like that?! After fighting so long and hard to keep him?! When?! When she could no longer _have _him?! That's great. That's… just great," House stated in irritation, calming down when Evie turned her head to look at him, starting to fuss.

"Maybe you should ask her," Nolan suggested.

When House spoke next, his tone was so subdued and voice hushed that Nolan had to lean forward in his chair to hear him better. "There's no going back," he mumbled. "I can't do it. And I… can't believe her. I… can't. "

"What is it people say? Time wounds all heels and heals all wounds?" Nolan said.

House shook his head, still not making eye contact. "Not _all _wounds," he responded.

Nolan raised an eyebrow at him and folded his hands in his lap before asking, "Do you want your wounds healed?"

He looked up at him sharply but didn't reply immediately. Finally he said, "Some wounds can't be healed. And some… shouldn't be. Not completely. Especially if it's likely that healing them will lead you into getting hurt worse next time round. Everyone has a breaking point. I've come too close to mine already. If I can function as is, my girls are better off than if I was to heal and then end up locked up for life the next time Cuddy drives a spear through my soul."

Nolan pursed his lips but didn't comment.

House opted to redirect the conversation, getting uncomfortable with so much honesty. "My mother is coming to town in two days and I finally got around to telling her about Cuddy and Rachel."

Nolan nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"It should be _interesting_ anyway," he wryly acknowledged. "She wasn't too happy with me for not telling her sooner. Even thought it would have been best if she'd been here to help _me _adjust to the change, which is ridiculous since that would have only made the situation that much more difficult. My mom said she's looking forward to having a chat with Cuddy, which to me is code for impending doom, but I… told Cuddy that I'd step in if things got rough. I guess we'll see how it goes."

"What's your mom like?" Nolan inquired.

House shrugged. "She's a mom," he stated blandly. "She's protective, often blinded to my faults and yet just as likely to think I need her to interfere in my life, constantly trying to tell me how to be happy and what's for the best… She's your typical mother. She believes Evie needs a mother and a father and for that reason, had a hard time when she discovered that I was raising Evie on my own. She doesn't understand Cuddy not being in Evie's life from the beginning and went so far as to call her and tell her Evie needed her and… that I couldn't handle raising her on my own."

"Do you get along with her?" Nolan asked then.

House chuckled dryly. "I love my mother. And I even enjoy her in small doses. But I don't _choose_ to visit her regularly."

"Why not?" Nolan pressed.

House hadn't talked in great detail with Nolan about his family, even while in Mayfield. Reluctantly, he muttered, "That would take several sessions to explain but let's just say, my mother lives in denial and I'd rather leave her in her own little world than… hurt her needlessly."

Nolan opened his mouth to query what he meant by that but House got to his feet before he had half a chance. "I should get going. Our time is up."

Nolan shook his head, smiling slightly. "Alright. Drive safely, House."

"See you next week," House replied wryly.

Nolan watched him go, wondering what this weekend would look like for House and his Dr. Cuddy. He couldn't help pondering just what House considered his mother to live in denial about. He also questioned how much it had to do with the man House had become and his reluctance to find a way to cleanse himself of the wounds from his past. All of them, he amended.

* * *

Cuddy was sitting in the dining room at the table, working her way through a pile of paperwork that night, when House came in with Evie, who was sound asleep.

"Hey," she whispered with a smile, getting to her feet to walk over and press a soft kiss to the sleeping baby's cheek.

"Hey," he replied tiredly. "Rachel asleep?"

Cuddy nodded. "May I take her?" she asked.

House gave Evie carefully over to Cuddy without comment.

"The paperwork you need is on the counter," Cuddy said then, gesturing with her head to the papers he had to give to Riverside East's daycare director.

"You coming for a tour?" he inquired, reaching for it.

She nodded. "Ruth agreed to hang around tomorrow afternoon so I could come in after work."

House nodded slightly, following her towards Evie's room and watching from the doorway as Cuddy changed the baby's diaper and slipped her into her pj's before placing her in her crib.

"I should pick up another car seat for Rachel," he said then.

Cuddy smiled as she turned the light out, House stepping past her to turn on Evie's monitor before leaving the room after her, closing the door most of the way after him. "I'll pick one up for you," she said as she turned around in the hallway to look at him.

He shrugged. "Okay. Works for me. But don't get one that's all girly."

Cuddy laughed. "I'll see what I can do," she replied, an eyebrow quirked in humor.

House's mouth twitched but then he said, "I'm going to go check on Rachel before going to bed. Night, Cuddy."

"Goodnight, House," she responded softly, watching affectionately as he turned and headed upstairs to go into Rachel's room. Slipping back into the dining room, she leaned against the wall a moment, contemplating the man who had just headed upstairs to peek in on Rachel. She wondered if he _wouldn't_ be interested in officially becoming Rachel's daddy. Then she wondered how hard it would be for her to adopt her biological daughter, if that was even possible. Frowning, she pushed the thought away and sat back down at the dining room table, burying herself in work, barely aware of House's bedroom door closing sometime later.

* * *

May 26th, 2011

Cuddy entered Riverside East, feeling like she was in an alternate universe, knowing somewhere within these walls House lived and breathed as he once had at PPTH, now overseen by someone who _wasn't _her. That in itself was strange, but Cuddy _hadn't _expected the thought to trigger some primal jealousy within her at knowing this was one more illustration of how House no longer _belonged _to her, even if she was aware that Dr. Cooper, House's boss, was a man and House's relationship with him had to be drastically different from the one she'd had with him once upon a time. And then there was the fact that she didn't _own _House and never had, even if she'd allowed herself to believe otherwise.

She stopped at the front desk for directions and then followed the nurse's instructions to the daycare entrance which lay within the hospital's main structure, having parked by the front doors rather than a door that might have been closer to an external entrance leading directly to the daycare itself. When she reached the entrance, Cuddy pressed the intercom button and a moment later, a woman came to the door.

"You must be Dr. Cuddy," the woman began with a smile, reaching out to shake her hand once Cuddy had entered. "I'm Ruth McCormick and it's a pleasure to meet you. I'm sorry you didn't have time to pick up Rachel and bring her along with you but I am certainly looking forward to meeting her and having her become a part of our little Riverside East family."

"Thank you," Cuddy replied, shaking the woman's hand. "It's nice to meet you as well. And thank you for allowing me to reschedule for earlier in the day."

"It wasn't a problem," Ruth replied before stepping to the side, extending her arm to gesture towards her office. "Please, feel free to come in. Dr. House gave me your paperwork this morning and I really only have a few items to cover with you before I'll take you on a quick tour of our facility and free you to return to work."

Cuddy nodded in agreement and walked in ahead of her, taking her seat. Ruth passed her a welcome folder designed to be given to parents once an agreement had been made and went over the contents with her before writing down the access code for her, though of course she knew Rachel would be coming and going mainly with Dr. House.

After she'd covered the ground she needed to, Ruth said, "Obviously, you and Dr. House will be on the list of approved individuals to pick Rachel up from daycare but I need to know if there is anyone else you would like added to the list. You can always call us in an emergency and let us know if someone else will be coming to get her. That won't be a problem. But generally we like to know that morning or the day before if it is planned, unless the individual is on your approved list."

Cuddy tried to imagine who House would have on his list. It went without question that Wilson would be on the list. It also made sense that Cameron would be listed, since she worked here at RE. "Can I know who is on Dr. House's list?" Cuddy asked anyway.

Ruth hesitated, not wanting to violate House's confidentiality, and Cuddy immediately added, "I'm assuming James Wilson is on his list and Allison Cameron as well. If they were ever to be in a position requiring them to pick up Evie, I wouldn't have a problem with them picking up Rachel as well, as long as they had car seats for both girls. I assume it would be a situation where House would be unavailable to bring the girls home. You can put them on Rachel's list. I'm fine with that. And just in case, I should probably add my mother, Evelyn Cuddy. She doesn't live nearby right now but she'll be moving to the area this summer."

"Anyone else?" Ruth inquired after writing those names down.

Cuddy frowned, contemplating the question. "No, I think that's it," she replied.

Ruth nodded and then transferred the information to the computer database before inserting the written list into Rachel's file. "Since Dr. House is not Rachel's legal guardian, I do need you to clarify whether he is authorized to call in pick-up changes, should someone else have to come for Rachel."

Cuddy nodded automatically. "That's fine," she agreed, her thoughts shifting once again to whether or not she should ask House if he'd _want_ to file paperwork to become a legal guardian where Rachel was concerned. Maybe that would be putting too much pressure on him, she thought then, biting her lip as she contemplated what he'd said about how he was going to screw this up. He _wasn't _going to, but maybe he wouldn't appreciate her asking him to become a legal guardian. It wasn't like he had to adopt Rachel to be a guardian, though Cuddy had already come to the conclusion that she wouldn't have an objection to that if he indicated he wanted to. In fact, the very thought of him desiring to adopt Rachel and legally claim her as his own made Cuddy's eyes tear up. The only reason she _didn't _cry was because her mind had already shifted into ways she could express how much that would please her, ways that would bring House as much pleasure as they would her, if he gave her half a chance to… thank him.

"Are you okay?" Ruth asked, interrupting Cuddy's train of thought.

Cuddy looked at her and blushed slightly at what she'd been daydreaming about while lost in her own world, apparently not hearing Ruth as she tried to get her attention. "I'm fine," she managed to reply.

Ruth didn't look too reassured but asked, "Then would you like to take a tour now?"

Cuddy nodded and got to her feet, following the other woman out of the room.

"Maybe Dr. House would like to join us," Ruth said over her shoulder as she headed towards a nearby door. "I haven't yet convinced him to see more of the daycare than the infant room."

"He's probably busy with work," Cuddy replied. "I don't want to disturb him."

Ruth glanced at her watch before pausing outside the door, giving Cuddy a smile. "If I'm not mistaken, he's on lunch break right now," Ruth informed Cuddy.

Cuddy wondered briefly how in the world this woman would know that but at the strange expression on Cuddy's face, Ruth added, "We'll probably find him already here."

She pushed the door open and Cuddy stared at her inquisitively a second before House's voice filled her ears.

"You _really _need to get some," she heard him dryly quip.

"You offering?" the red-haired girl asked suggestively. "Because if you are…"

"_Sandy!_" a brunette-haired girl hissed, giving her a warning look which caused the girl named Sandy to turn wide-eyed to look at the two people in the doorway, an innocent expression crossing her face several seconds too late as she adjusted a sleeping baby in her arms.

House looked their way as well and his expression went from one of amusement at what the girl had been in the middle of saying to that of confusion. Cuddy looked from him to their daughter where she sat in his lap and then back to him before her eyes settled on the red-haired girl, narrowing immediately at this new threat. Perhaps if she had never heard that tone of voice or those words out of House's mouth, she might not know what they'd been referring to when Ruth had opened the door. But as it was, she was all _too_ aware and _Sandy_ was not only acting unprofessionally for a daycare worker, but she was _hitting _on _House._ Cuddy knew she had nothing to worry about where Erika was concerned. But what about this woman? Then again, House _had _said he had no interest in being involved with _anyone._

"Michelle, Sandy," Ruth began, the edge to her voice added when she'd said the second girl's name indicating even to Cuddy, who had just met the woman, that she too had heard Sandy's statement and was none too pleased by it. "This is Dr. Cuddy. _Evie's mother_. Her daughter Rachel will be in our toddler room starting next week."

"It's nice to meet you," Michelle politely replied, glancing briefly at House before her eyes went back to Cuddy.

"It certainly is," Sandy concurred, though her facial expression reflected more curiosity than pleasure. She too looked at House, raising an eyebrow his way before looking back at Cuddy.

Cuddy nodded, unable to settle on a response, the urge to slap the girl causing her to ball her fists at her sides.

House got to his feet with Evie and headed towards Cuddy, passing Evie to her when she held her hands out to take the baby a second later. "I thought you were coming at 5?" he asked finally.

"I had to reschedule," she replied, her eyes locking on his as she tried to determine if he _enjoyed _Sandy's flirtation.

But his eyes revealed nothing as he turned to Ruth. "Are you finally going to show me the toddler room, then?" he asked pointedly.

Ruth gave him a sharp look and said, "If I recall correctly, I once offered to and you told me it could wait until Evie was older."

"She's older," House quipped, smirking as he opened the dividing door to step out.

Ruth pursed her lips. She'd intended to tell Dr. Cuddy about the infant room but after witnessing Sandy's behavior, she thought the best thing she could possibly do was escort the woman on to the toddler room, distracting her from what she mighthave overheard. She didn't exactly appreciate the first impression Sandy had made upon a new parent. Reaching for the doorknob, she waved Cuddy and House out ahead of her before staring at Sandy in a way that told the girl they'd be talking later on.

"You really stuck your foot in it this time," Michelle murmured when the door shut.

Sandy sighed but turned to her and asked, "_That's_ Evie's _mother?_"

"You're changing the subject," Michelle replied with a small smile.

Sandy shrugged. "So what if I am?" she asked, a trace of frustration in her voice not directed at Michelle but at the fact that she hadn't heard the door open when Ruth had come in. "What can I do about it _now?_ And besides, _she's far more interesting _to talk about than the lecture I'm going to get shortly."

"She's very attractive," Michelle said, acquiescing to the subject change. "And Evie looks _just _like her."

"Evie does," Sandy agreed, swaying slightly from side to side with the sleeping infant. "But she doesn't work here, does she? Is she transferring in? Ruth identified her as _Dr. _Cuddy. And obviously her little girl who will be coming here isn't Dr. House's. That's… _fascinating. _But what's even _more fascinating_ is the fact that I've _seen _Evie's paperwork and this woman has never been _mentioned_. So where did she _come _from?"

"What are you doing?" Michelle asked as she watched Sandy head to the cupboard, opening it to look over the information listed within for each child in the infant room.

"What does it _look _like I'm doing?" Sandy asked sarcastically. "I'm checking to see if I've missed something major and she's authorized to pick Evie up. But she's _not._"

Michelle raised an eyebrow at that news, heading into the crib room to pick up one of the babies who had just woken up and started to cry. "Well, being that she's not mentioned on Evie's paperwork, I would guess that's related."

"What do you think of her?" Sandy asked Michelle when she came back out, bypassing her to lay the other baby down.

"I don't even _know_ her," Michelle replied, taking the baby into the changing area for a diaper change. "What _can _I think of her? I don't think she's all that fond of you though," Michelle teased.

Sandy gave her an impish smile. "You think they're together?" she asked curiously.

Michelle frowned, thinking it over. "I can't tell one way or the other."

"They aren't," Sandy decided, shaking her head.

"You have a reason to back that theory up?" Michelle inquired. "Or did you just decide that so as to spare all your hopes from being dashed?"

Sandy laughed. "I've got a list," she replied. "First, he didn't show any affection for her at all. Nor did she towards him. Second, she was jealous. That means either she thinks I stand a chance with him or she's not sure if I stand a chance with him. And third, while you and I both recognized that she'd heard what I'd said, House didn't bother to defend himself or apologize. There aren't very many men out there who would have found themselves in that kind of situation by their girlfriend who _wouldn't _immediately try to explain what had taken place, especially if there existed a possibility that their girlfriend was upset by it. She was _definitely _upset with me."

Michelle rolled her eyes but dismissively said, "I guess time will tell."

"Yes, it certainly will," Sandy agreed. "I just hope I'm still around to figure this out."

* * *

Ruth directed them into the toddler room, introducing them to Ginny, Alicia, and Lindsey, who House had met before. Ginny was a brunette House guessed to be in her mid-twenties while Alicia was a raven-haired girl of about the same age, perhaps a few years older, with olive skin and almond-shaped eyes. House only half-listened to Ruth as she talked about the room and its daily schedule, outlining a general overview of its policies and procedures. His attention centered more upon the toddlers who were all gathered at two tables, eating their lunch. House smirked to himself with fatherly pride after concluding that as cute as they all were, Rachel had them beat hands down. He just bet she was smarter too.

Cuddy noticed the smirk on House's face and gave him an inquisitive look but he just raised an eyebrow her way before concentrating on what Ruth was telling them. Cuddy asked Ruth a number of questions but she was used to Rachel being taken care of by someone else during the day so this didn't faze her much at all.

"I'll want someone to call me if Rachel's not doing well," House interjected.

Ruth directed her attention his way, smiling. "I assume you're not just talking about if she gets sick but you mean that you want someone to call you as they would for Evie?"

House nodded.

"You know, Dr. House, you won't _always _be able to ride in like a white knight when something goes wrong or your child has a bad day," she teased. "_Eventually _you'll have to let them take a few bumps and bruises on the road of life themselves."

Cuddy's eyes were searching House's face but he ignored her momentarily much the same as he ignored what Ruth had said, instead asking, "What about lunchtimes?"

Ruth shook her head wryly, knowing what he was asking. "You're welcome to come visit her, but if it's traumatic for Rachel to have you come and go, we'll ask you not to. If it becomes an issue for the other children, that would also have to be taken into consideration. But there's always the option of coming once or twice a week to pick her up for lunch and take her up to the cafeteria with you if you want that time with her," she proffered.

House nodded his agreement.

"How often do you come to see Evie?" Cuddy interrupted to speculatively ask, studying House.

He shrugged but Ruth dryly answered, "_Every day._"

Cuddy laughed at the irritated look on House's face at having been ratted out and he gave her a dirty look before taking Evie from her arms. "Not _every _day. Sometimes I'm not able to come."

Ruth looked at him pointedly and muttered, "You've only missed three lunch visits since she started here. And even then, you still made sure to come by for at least a few minutes to check in."

"And that's a problem?" he asked skeptically.

Ruth smiled. "No. Not at all. It's just that we have very few parents who manage to find the time to come see their kids during the day and actually do so. And I don't have _any _other parents who come as you do."

Cuddy bit back a smile and teased, "Are you using our daughter as an excuse to avoid clinic duty?"

House raised an eyebrow at her and dryly replied, "I don't have to _do _clinic duty here."

"Well now, that's just convenient," she quipped, stepping closer to place a hand on his arm before leaning in to press a kiss to Evie's cheek.

"Is there anything else you'd like to know, Dr. Cuddy?" Ruth asked then.

"No, I don't think so," she responded, looking Ruth's way. "And I have to get back to work because I have a meeting at two."

"Well, it was very nice to meet you and we'll be looking forward to Rachel coming on Monday," Ruth replied before looking at House. "And Dr. House, if I could have a few minutes of your time, I'd appreciate it."

House looked at her in surprise, his eyes widening and then it dawned on him what she probably wanted to talk to him about and he rolled his eyes automatically.

Cuddy glanced at Ruth in curiosity and then at House before asking, "Should I pick up dinner on my way home tonight?"

"Works for me," he replied with a shrug.

"Okay," she said with a smile.

Cuddy gave Evie another kiss and then touched House's shoulder, biting her lip as she thought of what she and Kate had talked about the day before. Finally she said, "You're a good daddy House. Our girls are lucky to have you."

House looked at her as if she was insane but she just smiled softly. "I'll see you later," she murmured.

He nodded imperceptibly and then watched her as she turned and walked away. Once she was gone, he turned to look at Ruth who was waiting, trying to shake the thoughts regarding what Cuddy had meant by that from his mind. "Is this about Sandy?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow.

She pursed her lips and admonished, "You really shouldn't encourage her."

House smirked but shrugged. "She's harmless. And she's seeing someone. Besides, there's nothing going on between us and never will be."

"I don't want to lose her as an employee," Ruth said sternly. "She's great with kids. But I have to say, I'm concerned. I expect my employees to be professional with the parents of the children in our care. What I witnessed in a matter of seconds today was far from professional. And from the sounds of it, this isn't the first time."

"It's not worth firing her over though," House muttered.

"I'm not going to fire her," she replied. "But I _am _going to keep an eye on the situation. I'm _also _going to have a talk with her."

House nodded slightly. "I've got to get back to work," he said then, ready to escape this conversation.

Ruth nodded and watched him go back into the baby room, shaking her head when he was out of sight.

* * *

House shut the door behind him after entering and passed Evie to Michelle before looking at Sandy and dryly stating, "Now you've done it."

Sandy smiled and asked, "Did I get you in trouble with your Dr. Cuddy?"

House scoffed. "First of all, she's not _my _Dr. Cuddy. And secondly, no," he replied dismissively. "But I got a talking-to from your boss."

"Ruth got after you but your girlfriend didn't?" Sandy inquired, feigning disbelief as she pressed him to satisfy her curiosity.

"She's _not _my girlfriend," House immediately negated, shaking his head dramatically.

"Good to know," Sandy replied with a sly smile.

House stared at her and then smiled, chuckling dryly to himself. "Oh, _you_," he remarked, rolling his eyes before turning to leave the room.

Sandy waited until he was gone before turning to Michelle and saying, "Well, that answers _that _question."

* * *

House headed back to his office, lost in thought. He'd known Cuddy was coming today but he hadn't expected her to show up when she had. Did it really matter that he know in advance when they'd run into each other? That made little sense. Yet, the idea that she'd been at RE, his new stomping grounds, made him feel kind of like he was on shaky ground, even if he'd known in Rachel coming here, she'd end up being here on occasion as well. He briefly wondered if she'd felt the same way in being here or if she'd felt this way when he'd swung by PPTH back in January and then again in February. He thought of Sandy's questions and how she'd been fishing for details of his personal life, wryly shaking his head at what Cuddy might have overheard when she'd entered the infant room. Well, she knew he wasn't interested in being in a relationship with anyone after what he'd said last Saturday. He didn't imagine it mattered or would spur a repeat of last Saturday. _That_ he was grateful for.

But what was with her parting words? Did she… really think he was a good daddy? Did she genuinely believe the girls were lucky to have him? And… were they? House frowned, contemplating the situation he'd landed himself in, now that Cuddy was back in his life. She… _wanted_ to be the woman for him. That's what she'd said. And it would be so… _easy_ to love Cuddy as he once had; to… perhaps fall in love with her again. But what good would that do? He couldn't _trust _her enough to give her half a chance in… loving him as he did her. House exhaled wearily. Since she'd come back into his life, everything had been thrown off-kilter and House couldn't think of any part of his life that _hadn't _been affected by it. He had a lot to figure out, beginning with how to co-parent with a woman he… somehow loved, but didn't trust.

-----

"_**I'm wandering, I'm crawling**_

_**I'm two steps away from falling**_

_**I just can't seem to get around**_

_**And I'm heavy, I'm weary**_

_**I'm not thinking clearly**_

_**I just can't seem to find solid ground**_

_**Since you've been around**_

_**I'm running, I'm hiding**_

_**I'm afraid you'll never find me**_

_**Because I've always felt lost in the crowd**_

_**And I'm sinking, I'm drowning**_

_**I'm so afraid of losing**_

_**My head's been spinning round and round**_

_**Since you've been around**_

_**I'm foolish and crazy**_

_**I just think that maybe**_

_**I've got a lot of things to figure out**_

_**And I'm winning, I'm losing**_

_**I'm afraid of never choosing**_

_**This heart of mine was so beaten down **_

_**Before you came around"**_

* * *

Song: "Since You've Been Around" (Rosie Thomas)


	80. 21 Guns

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Well, I do enjoy making you guys happy when I can! :) Read and review!)_

* * *

May 27th, 2011

"Hey mom," House greeted Blythe as he opened the door for her Friday afternoon, Evie in his arms.

"Oh, look at _you!_" she exclaimed, her gaze on the baby. "My, how you've _grown!"_

Evie smiled, cooing, her arms flailing around House as she buried her face in his neck before turning to smile once more at her grandma.

"And her _hair!_" Blythe continued, reaching out to stroke the baby's head. "It's practically a mass of curls now!"

That was a slight exaggeration but Evie was definitely headed in that direction. House handed Evie to Blythe before shutting the door.

"Where's Lisa?" Blythe inquired, her attention otherwise directed completely towards her granddaughter.

"She's working. She and Rachel will be here later though," he replied, heading into the living room, his mother following behind. "How was your trip?"

"Fine," she answered. "The roads were good. Not a single traffic accident or stalled vehicle in sight."

House nodded. "You still seeing that guy?" he asked then.

"His name is David, dear," she wryly informed him. "And yes."

"Are you living in sin yet?" he inquired, enjoying the opportunity to push her buttons a little.

"No, we are not," Blythe stated evenly. "Our condos are kitty corner from one another and so far, that has been more than convenient."

There was a small commotion in the hallway and then Monster came barreling around the corner, jumping up on House's legs where he sat on the couch beside Blythe. Evie saw him and broke into a wide grin, clapping for him and causing Monster to bark excitedly before he dropped down on his haunches and headed to sniff Blythe's shoes.

"You have a dog?" she asked in surprised hesitancy, inspecting the puppy though she didn't move to pet him.

"He's the girls' dog. Rachel named him. She, uh… calls him _Cookie Monster_," House wryly responded, leaning forward to pick the puppy up.

"Dogs can carry diseases," Blythe said, a touch of disapproval in her voice.

"He's healthy," House replied flatly, scratching the puppy behind his ears as Evie leaned forward in Blythe's lap, trying to pat him. "He's had his shots."

Blythe moved the baby in her arms so that the puppy was out of reach, which Evie automatically protested. "He might bite one of the girls. Dogs turn on their masters all the time."

House rolled his eyes at his mother's behavior and assertions. "He's a chocolate lab, mom. Labs make good family dogs. And Monster's good with both of the girls. Rachel's tripped over him a couple times and Evie's always trying to pull on his ears and tail. He shows no signs of aggression."

Blythe looked at the puppy doubtfully but House held the puppy around his belly and extended him for Evie to pat so that she wasn't struggling to fight her grandma's hold on her, Monster licking at her hands and causing her to giggle.

"That _can't _be healthy," Blythe muttered disdainfully. "You should teach him not to lick."

House chuckled dryly, shaking his head. He set the puppy back down on the floor and then got to his feet. "A dog's mouth is cleaner than a human's," he replied before informing her, "I'm going to take him outside."

Blythe got up to follow him. "So tell me," she began, starting right in with her list of questions. "Did Lisa call you last month? Or how did she let you know that she wanted to be involved?"

House pursed his lips, opening the backdoor and heading out before whistling for Monster to follow, Blythe stepping out after the puppy. "She came here," he replied, not expanding on that voluntarily.

"And?" Blythe prompted.

"And she asked if I'd allow her to be a part of Evie's life," he muttered, shrugging.

"She asked your _permission_?" Blythe queried skeptically, adjusting a squirming Evie in her arms.

House nodded, disinterested in what her response meant, and then reached for his daughter, setting her down in the grass so that she could crawl around as he knew she wanted to.

Blythe frowned and murmured, "She's going to get dirty."

"Then I'll give her a bath, mom," he replied dryly. "Kids get dirty."

"Well, you certainly did as a child," Blythe acknowledged before letting it go. She glanced at the dog where he was sniffing around the edge of the yard. "Don't you worry that he'll run off?"

House shook his head. "He's never tried to," he responded. "And he always comes when I call him."

Blythe nodded as House squatted down, opening Evie's clenched fist to empty it of the grass she'd ripped from the lawn before stroking the back of his knuckles along her cheek. Blythe watched him, analyzing him a moment.

"I imagine you were relieved to have Lisa take over with Georgia," she said then.

House looked sharply up at his mother before picking Evie up and carefully pushing himself upright. His jaw clenched in anger as he tried to control his temper. He _rarely_ lashed out at his mother but if there was something that _would _trigger him to do so, it would certainly be her attitude regarding his abilities to parent. It was going to be a _long _weekend apparently.

"Do you _see _her here with Evie now? No. _I'm _taking care of her. I'm perfectly capable of parenting my own kid. And I don't _need_ Cuddy to take over, mother," he finally grunted out. "That isn't why I've agreed to allow her into Evie's life or why I invited her to move in. I was doing just fine before she chose to enter Evie's life. Evie is _my _daughter. _I've_ been the one raising her. I'm a good dad, regardless of what you think."

Blythe looked slightly affronted by his demeanor but pursed her lips before attempting to appease him. "I'm not trying to imply that you're not a fit father," she murmured.

"Maybe not but all the same, your lack of confidence in me is apparent," he muttered, turning to head back into the house, Monster running after them.

"I just think a girl needs a mother," she said defensively, entering ahead of him when he opened the door for her.

"No mom. That's not what you're saying at all," he corrected, following her inside with Evie and the dog. "You're arguing that I wasn't just allowing Cuddy an opportunity to be a part of Evie's life, but asking her to take over in bringing Evie up. And that's _NOT AT ALL _what I've done. But it's what _you automatically assume_ I would do or… should have done."

"_I _raised you," she reminded him then. "I loved you, cared for you, protected you. Because that's what a mother does! Your father was present and of the two of us, he might have been the better disciplinarian, but it was _me _who raised you. And that's as it should be. A mother _should _raise her child. I know as a boy you needed your father in your life so that you could become a man, learning from him what it meant to be one, and I did my best to make sure he was in your life, but it was _my _responsibility to rear you."

You didn't protect me from dad," House accused, unconsciously holding Evie closer to him. He wasn't even going to touch her assumption that his dad had been a better disciplinarian. Maybe John could classify himself as such, had House been a grown man attending boot camp or if he'd been _successfully broken_ as his dad had intended. Since neither was true, House would argue having John as a disciplinarian had both proved a catastrophe and in general, had just plain sucked. And _learning from John what it meant to be a man_… that was a joke! It was unfortunate that House had learned what he _had_ from the man. He'd have learned to be a _better _man, had he been raised by a monkey.

Blythe looked at him, clearly taken aback. "You didn't _need _to be protected from him."

House looked away from her and then at Evie in his arms who was staring up at him, a fist in her mouth. He swallowed hard and under his breath muttered, "I _did_ need to be protected from him. I was just a _kid_."

"I don't know what you are talking about," Blythe mumbled, obviously uncomfortable as she turned away and headed out of the kitchen, back towards the living room.

House watched her go, not knowing whether to be relieved that she'd walked away or irritated with her for it. He exhaled harshly but then lifted Evie up to press a kiss to her cheek before burying his face in her neck, tickling her with his scruff, breathing in her baby smell, the tension in his shoulders dissolving slightly.

Realizing her diaper was wet, he headed for Evie's room and set her down on the changing table. When she was cleaned up and had a fresh diaper on, he changed her outfit as well before going into the living room.

Blythe studied him a second from where she sat on the couch but then looked away. "I know you think your father was… hard on you, but honestly Greg, you act as if you would have been better off without your father in your life."

"I don't _THINK _he was hard on me," House disagreed immediately. "He _WAS _hard on me_. _And for that matter my father _WASN'T in my life_," House argued quietly, the continuation of the ruse getting to him. Just the other day he'd been content to allow her to remain in her delusional, naïve state. He wasn't sure what he was trying to accomplish in this conversation. There was nothing _to _accomplish. But suddenly, he was bone weary of not measuring up and even more tired of his dad being held up as exemplary.

"Greg," Blythe rebuked. "You know your father was a _busy_ man! He couldn't be around _all _of the time. But I sacrificed a lot to make sure you had him in your life! Do you think I _wanted _to move all the time? I _loved _him very much. I'm not saying I didn't. I'm not even saying that if I hadn't had you, I wouldn't have followed him from one base to the next. I probably would have. But I didn't _enjoy _uprooting my life all the time. I would have liked _some _permanence. A woman _likes _stability and the opportunity to settle down and build a life somewhere! It's the way we were made! Even those of us who enjoy travelling and seeing different parts of the world. You want a place to call home. But just as a girl needs her mother, a boy needs his father. I made sure that you had him in your life as much as he was able to be."

House stared at her in disbelief from where he stood near the entryway and adjusted Evie in his arms before stating, "You are _seriously _trying to tell me that we followed dad around the globe for _my _sake?! I would have been _better off_ on _another continent_ without him than I was _with _him!"

"Greg!" she scolded. "Your father was a _good man!_ I won't stand for you talking disrespectfully about him! And _shame on you!_ He's dead. You shouldn't talk bad of the dead."

"I wouldn't _know _if my father was a good man," he sharply declared, before Blythe had even finished speaking. "He was never really in my life. And as for _John_, whether or not he wasa good man, he certainly didn't trouble himself to be a good dad to your bastard son."

Blythe stared at him, horrified at his pronouncement.

House dropped his gaze, his chest aching at having finally loosened the floodgates he normally kept so tightly under wraps with anyone, especially his mother, allowing water to trickle out through the cracks in the dam he'd erected within himself long ago.

"I have to make Evie a bottle," he mumbled before turning and walking out of the room.

Blythe watched him go but when he was out of sight she was helpless to stop the tears from falling. When she finally pulled herself back together, practically hearing John admonishing her for showing weakness, she got to her feet and hesitantly followed after House.

He heard her enter the kitchen but he didn't really have any desire to continue the conversation, nor to make eye contact and be confronted with how much he'd probably just hurt her, even though that _hadn't _been his intention. He _loved _his mother. She'd been the brightest spot in his life as a child. She had been the one to love him unconditionally, even if she had been _clueless_ and _obliviously blinded _to all he suffered at his dad's hands in his own private boot camp by the time he was four years old.

"You still believe that John wasn't your father," she murmured finally, watching his back.

It wasn't a question but a statement and yet House answered it anyway. Sighing, he mumbled, "John _wasn't_ my father."

"Greg…" she began quietly.

But House interrupted before she could continue with the lie, adjusting Evie in his arms before placing the bottle in her mouth, still not facing his mother. "I _know _he wasn't my father, mom. There's no point lying to me about it. I _know. _I'm a doctor. I have access to labs and I've done the DNA test. John _wasn't_ my biological father."

Blythe gaped at him, beyond shocked to hear this announcement. Maybe she'd always _known_, but she'd allowed herself to seek after self-deception for _years_ and having her son tell her differently was nothing short of agonizing.

When she finally found her voice, she murmured helplessly, "John was your father in every way that _counted_."

House scoffed but he didn't say anything more.

"Why do you hate him so much?" she whispered.

The strange thing was that House wasn't sure he _did _hate him. He _had. _And maybehe still did in _some _ways, he just didn't know. It was harder to hate a dead man who no longer had the ability to hurt him. For better or worse, in some way, shape or form, John House _had _been his dad. He'd given him a name, and back when he'd been born, that had still carried importance. Even if House _was_ a bastard, it hadn't been something _everyone_ had been aware of. It hadn't led to him being mistreated by the general public. His degradation had happened behind closed doors and typically, behind his mother's back. The only one who punished him for being a bastard child had been John, but there was a small part of House that had understood that and somehow justified the way John had secretly treated him at times while his mother appeared oblivious to it. He'd even figured that _if _she had known what was going on, because honestly, House didn't think it was _that _easy to overlook, perhaps she'd allowed it in part because _she too _felt John had a right to… take it out on _someone_ and… even House thought it was better that John had taken it out on him than on his mother, who seemed to spend the rest of her life in penitence for her adulterous act. Oh, she had loved John, of that House did not doubt. But loving a man like that had always seemed punishment enough. Once upon a time, House had _loved _his dad, had wanted to _please _him, even… make him _proud._ But he'd failed so miserably by the age of eight that he'd given up and determined to do exactly the opposite of what he was expected to do. Then, by twelve, when he recognized the truth of his parentage, finding out John _wasn't _his dad had been nothing short of a relief.

House heard the garage door go up and solemnly said, "That'll be Cuddy and Rachel." Their arrival carried with it the promise of escaping this painful discussion, not having to answer or account for whatever it was he _did _feel, and he welcomed _that_ wholeheartedly.

Blythe sighed, not knowing what to say to her son in the moment she had left alone with him. The conversation had left her feeling sick to her stomach, but despite knowing it was at an end for the present and she wouldn't have to hear anything else from Greg that might prove unbearable, she really felt no relief. The conversation was not over. It was just on hold.

They both directed their attention towards the back of the house as the garage door leading into the house opened and the sound of running feet came in their direction, the tapping of heels right behind it.

"Daddy!" Rachel called out excitedly, before she'd even entered the kitchen.

House smiled, relaxing somewhat as she came racing into the room and threw herself around his legs upon catching sight of him.

He reached down and rifled her hair as Cuddy entered the kitchen behind her. Turning to his mother, he said, "Mom, you already know Cuddy and this is Rachel."

Rachel noticed Blythe's presence in the room then and looked at her shyly, her arm remaining locked around House's leg.

Blythe was still staring at House in shock at hearing the child refer to him as daddy but she approached her and squatted down to her level, pulling herself back together. "Hi Rachel," she said as brightly as she could manage. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Evie's grandma. You can call me grandma if you would like to."

Rachel stared at her but then Cookie Monster came running over and Rachel released House's leg to pet the puppy happily prancing around her feet, seeking her attention and trying to lick her fingers.

Cuddy came up alongside House and pressed a kiss to Evie's cheek before giving Blythe her best donor smile and saying, "It's nice to see you again, Mrs. House."

House noticed the fake smile he knew so well and somehow, as odd as it was to have this be true, he felt _better _for it.

"Please," Blythe said, getting to her feet. "Lisa, you can call me Blythe. There's no need to be formal."

House supposed he should just be thankful she hadn't replied to call her mom, as happy as he assumed she was to see Cuddy involved in Evie's life. _That_ would have been more presumption on his mother's part than he could handle.

Cuddy nodded slightly and then looked at House. "Hi," she murmured softly, giving him a smile, resisting the compulsion to stand right beside him, leaning into him and drawing strength from his presence.

"You're home earlier than I thought you'd be," House said in reply as he headed for the sink to place the empty bottle within.

"I left work a little early," she admitted as she followed him, reaching for Evie. "I thought maybe I could make dinner for everyone."

House passed Evie to her and shrugged before saying, "I was thinking we'd go out for dinner."

"You, Evie, and your mom?" she asked softly, after noting that Blythe's attention had gone back to Rachel, who she was watching in her interactions with the puppy.

House frowned but quietly replied, "You and Rachel don't have to come if you don't feel comfortable going but I was thinking we could _all _go."

Cuddy looked at him in surprise as they'd _never _eaten out as a family before. "You're inviting us to come along?" she asked, the corners of her mouth rising into a pleased smile. If she could get away with it, she'd have kissed him.

He quirked an eyebrow but sarcastically asked, "You think I'd tell you to stay home?"

Wide-eyed, she stared at him a moment and her mouth twitched before she ignored the question, touching his arm lightly before murmuring, "Thanks."

House looked at her hand on his arm until she removed it, slightly embarrassed by her unconscious need to at least touch him in a gesture of appreciation. "There's nothing to thank me for," he said dismissively. And then under his breath he added, "In fact, you might not be thanking me by the end of the night."

Cuddy looked at him uncertainly but he'd already turned away. She patted the baby's back and turned to face Rachel and Blythe.

"How was your drive?" she asked politely.

"It was fine," Blythe replied, crossing the distance between them to come to her side. "She looks just like you," she said then, her eyes on the baby.

Cuddy nodded, a small smile on her lips. "But she was blessed with House's eyes," she amended, looking from her daughter to the man himself.

House raised an eyebrow her way, having heard what she'd said, but didn't comment, redirecting his attention to his mother. "Mom, I thought we'd go out to dinner tonight," he informed her.

Blythe smiled at her son, determined to turn around the somber mood that had fallen between them, and replied, "That sounds delightful, Greg."

House nodded before looking at Cuddy. "Do you want to change or are you ready to go?"

"Where are we going?" she asked.

House suggested the Olive Garden and Cuddy nodded. "Give me a couple minutes," she replied, handing him the baby before slipping out of the room.

Blythe waited until Cuddy had gone upstairs before turning to House and murmuring, "Greg, about your father…"

"Which one?" he sardonically queried.

"Greg," Blythe said softly, her voice coming out as a plea.

"I don't want to talk about this now, mom," he muttered, avoiding her gaze. "I've got to get Evie's diaper bag ready to go."

Blythe nodded silently and watched him slip out of the room, Rachel trailing behind him, before heading to use the bathroom and then grab her purse from the front hallway, taking a seat in the living room to wait for everyone else there.

* * *

"Daddy," Rachel said as she climbed up in the rocking chair in Evie's room. "Is that _my _grandma _too?_"

House looked at Rachel and set Evie down beside her in the rocking chair, reaching out to tweak a lock of Rachel's hair. "She is if you want her to be," he replied, his eyes upon the girls where they sat while he reached into a drawer to add a few more diapers to Evie's diaper bag. "Do you want her to be your grandma?"

Rachel shrugged, which was something that always made House smile to see, as it didn't appear to match up as expected two year old behavior. "She be a nice grandma?" she asked somberly.

House chuckled but said, "Yes, I think she's a nice grandma."

Rachel nodded, accepting his response. House raised an eyebrow but didn't press her.

"Why she be baby G's grandma but not my grandma?" she inquired.

House wasn't ready to have this conversation with Rachel. She was really too young to understand anyway. He hesitated but then said, "She's my mother, Rachel. Just like mommy is your mother, I have a mother too. And since Evie is my daughter, that makes my mom Evie's grandma, like grandma Cuddles is _your _grandma because she's your mommy's mother."

"But you _my_ daddy," Rachel responded, not following.

House set aside the diaper bag before squatting down in front of the girls in the rocking chair, just as Cuddy entered the room, having heard the sound of their voices as she descended the stairs. He glanced at her, noting that she'd changed into a feminine skirt and a soft pink top, but then refocused his attention on Rachel, reaching out to stroke her cheek. "I _am _your daddy, Rachel," he agreed, not knowing what else to say. "But I wasn't always your daddy. Remember how I didn't get to give you baths when you were as little as Evie? That was because I wasn't your daddy yet. I became your daddy when you decided you _wanted_ me to be your daddy. Just like grandma will become your grandma if you want her to be grandma."

"Baby G want you to be daddy?" Rachel asked, looking at her sister beside her.

House looked at Cuddy as if to get some help here but she really didn't know how to explain this any better than he did, especially having come in partway through the conversation, and she thought it was best for the time being to let House figure this one out. "Evie didn't get to decide," House finally replied, not knowing whether he was making a mess of things or if what he was saying worked at all as an explanation with a two year old. "She was born and I'd already chosen her as my daughter. Kind of like you didn't get to choose your mommy but she chose you."

"Baby G choose mommy?" she queried.

Cuddy surprised House by stepping up beside him and answering Rachel. "You know how mommy's trying to get Evie to call her mama?" she asked.

Rachel nodded, her eyes going from Cuddy to Evie beside her, who had one fist in her mouth and was contentedly drooling on it as she tried with her other hand to pull off one of her socks.

"Well, mommy's still waiting to see if baby G will choose her as mommy. _You _call daddy, 'daddy' because you thought he would be a good daddy for you. And he is a _wonderful _daddy for you," Cuddy was quick to say. "Now mommy is waiting for Evie to decide whether she'd like me to be her mommy like I'm _your_ mommy and… if she thinks I might be a good mommy like daddy is a good daddy."

"Cuddy," House mumbled, not really knowing what to say after _that _short speech.

But Rachel cut in. "You a good mommy, mommy," she replied, smiling brightly. "I tell baby G so she choose you."

"Thank you, Rachel," Cuddy murmured, sniffing before her hand settled on House's shoulder to steady herself as she leaned forward and past him to press a kiss to Rachel's brow, wiping a tear away a moment later.

"Is everyone ready?" Blythe asked, having stepped into the room to see where everyone had gone to.

Cuddy immediately stepped back, dropping her hand from House's shoulder so that he could get to his feet.

"We're ready, mom," House replied evenly once he was upright, scooping Evie up and passing her to Cuddy before reaching for Rachel.

"How about Rachel and I follow you, House?" Cuddy asked as she picked up Evie's diaper bag. "That way we don't have to move her car seat and your mom can ride with you. We can't all fit in the same car anyway."

He nodded, making a mental note to install the car seat Cuddy had brought home for him after work yesterday before Monday morning rolled around.

"Actually," Blythe said, "I was hoping I could ride with you, Lisa."

Cuddy looked at House who was behind her in alarm and he read the look in her eyes before addressing his mom and saying, "I think you should ride with me, mom." If it wasn't for the fact that his mom being alone with Cuddy spelt T-R-O-U-B-L-E, he would have welcomed her declaration, but as it was, House could not deny it would be best if she rode with him. He at least had the advantage of knowing how to deal with his mother, for the most part anyway.

"But I…" Blythe began.

"You can ride with me," Cuddy interrupted, knowing she should toughen up and asking herself, really, how bad could it _be?_

"You sure?" he mumbled from behind her, clearly doubtful that this was a good idea.

Cuddy nodded almost imperceptibly before Blythe contentedly replied, "Perfect."

* * *

House pulled out of the driveway and Cuddy followed in her car, Blythe seated next to her. Cuddy glanced at her before biting her lip, feeling extremely apprehensive all of a sudden. The best thing she could probably do for herself here was to make conversation, especially with Rachel in the backseat.

"I'm glad you were able to come for the weekend," she began hesitantly. "I'm sure you don't get to see Evie nearly as often as you'd like to."

"No, I suppose I don't," Blythe acknowledged. "But the nice thing is, at this stage of life, my commitments are very few and I'm free to travel, so if Greg ever needed me, I'd be able to come and help him out with Georgia immediately, much as I was able to come when she was born and again when I visited at Christmastime."

Cuddy nodded, not really knowing how she was supposed to respond to that. "I'm glad," she finally murmured. "And I… I appreciate the fact that you were able to be around when… I wasn't."

"Why, that's a mother's duty," Blythe replied, as if she was shocked to think anyone would consider it to not be.

Cuddy's grip on the steering wheel tightened but she didn't say anything right away, not oblivious in any way to what Blythe was trying to get across.

When Cuddy made no reply and Blythe was left on her own to decide if she'd gotten the message, Blythe gave her a pointed look thinking perhaps she'd been too subtle and quietly added, "I'm glad to see you've finally decided to start acting like a mother to your daughter. Speaking frankly, Lisa darling, how _any_ mother can walk away from their infant child is beyond my comprehension and honestly, quite reprehensible. Your redemption comes in the fact that you're here now, but I fear you have a lot to make up for."

Cuddy felt like she'd been slapped. She bit down on her lip hard, trying to stop herself from crying, but the tears filled her eyes regardless and she quickly pulled the car over to the side of the road as House continued driving through the green light ahead of them, Cuddy watching his car disappear, determined to let Blythe say what she needed to and _not _wanting to get in an accident. Cuddy guessed that he was probably heading for the Olive Garden right off the highway, but figured she could call him if he wasn't there when they finally arrived.

Blythe looked at her in surprise. "What are you doing?" she asked skeptically.

Cuddy blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears at bay as she focused on evening out her breathing. But they spilled out before she could stop them and she hastily brushed them aside before glancing back at Rachel in the backseat through the rearview mirror, thankful to see she was somewhat occupied in playing with her doll and did not seem to be paying them much attention.

"Oh for goodness sake," Blythe muttered, digging in her purse and extending a pack of tissues Cuddy's way. "Don't fall apart on me. Just hear what I'm saying and accept that I'm holding you accountable to be a better mother to Georgia from this point forward."

She ignored the tissues, stubbornly refusing to accept them from Blythe. She kept her hands on the steering wheel and just waited for her to say what she needed to. When Blythe didn't expand further on her thinking, Cuddy refused to even look at her but quietly said, "I don't expect you to understand, nor do I plan to give you an explanation for everything that happened to lead up to Evie's birth or the decision I made to not be involved. I haven't even had opportunity to explain myself to House and he has more right to hear me account for my actions than you do. All I'm going to tell you is that I was _extremely_ depressed when I was pregnant with Evie and in the months following her birth. I've been in counseling and… I still _am _in counseling. I _couldn't _be involved in Evie's life from the beginning. I _wish_ I could have but it _wasn't_ possible. Now I _can_ be involved and I _am_. I… understand that you think I should have been there from day one but there is nothing I can do about that."

Blythe puffed out an indignant breath but did not know how to adequately respond. She replaced the tissues in her purse since Cuddy was obviously not interested in taking one before frowning, studying Cuddy's profile before doubtfully saying, "Alright. I don't understand it but I will try to accept that a possibility exists of justifying your absence and inability to be capable of being there for Georgia earlier."

Cuddy's cell phone went off but she just reached in her purse to silence it, fully aware it was House trying to determine what had happened, looking at Blythe and tossing her head around before echoing, "You can _accept _that a possibility exists?! I'm not _asking _you to accept that my absence might be justifiable. I'm _telling_ you I couldn't be around."

Blythe ignored her outburst and continued, "But I _can't_ say I understand how you could mother one child and reject another. Rachel is quite delightful but Georgia is equally precious."

Cuddy had known _eventually _that would come up with _someone _in _some _wayand she blinked rapidly before mumbling, "I'm not _saying _one of my daughters is more precious than the other. But I already had Rachel and was the only one responsible for her care. I was used to being her mother. Evie… I… wasn't emotionally equipped to deal with her birth nor to… be the mother she needed." She closed her eyes before sorrowfully admitting, "Though I probably wouldn't have been able to mother Rachel for much longer at the rate I was going downhill except House stepped in and did what needed to be done to get me into counseling and to help me pull my life back together, as much as he was able to."

Blythe's eyes widened, caught off guard by that piece of news. She opened her mouth to say something but then paused before tilting her head to the side and somberly asking, "Do you have feelings for my son?"

Cuddy looked away, not knowing how to reply to that. Of course she did! But how wise was it to tell Blythe that she did? For a moment she thought of what Kate had said and almost groaned at the fact that this entire "opportunity" was taking place without House present to overhear any of it.

"Do you?" Blythe pressed, frowning as she studied her.

Cuddy didn't verbalize her reply but she nodded helplessly.

Blythe nodded, which Cuddy noted out of the corner of her eye, though she wasn't sure whether it was with approval or meant just as an acknowledgement that she'd heard her. Then Blythe asked, "What changed your mind about being involved in Georgia's life?"

Cuddy's mouth opened and closed silently for a minute before she exhaled a breath, deciding to just answer that question and hopefully end this confrontation as quickly as possible. "I saw House with Evie at a park and I… I couldn't _not _be a part of her life anymore. Not if House was willing to allow me the opportunity to be involved. I wanted to know her and love her. I wanted to be her mother as I am Rachel's."

Blythe considered her answer. "Georgia _needs _a mother. No matter what Greg says," she added.

Cuddy looked at her in surprise, which quickly transformed into a pained expression. "What did House say?" she asked quietly.

"Nothing," Blythe stated dismissively. "But Georgia _does_ need a mother."

"She has a mother," Cuddy whispered, wishing she could assert that strongly but emotionally drained already by this confrontation and uncertain whether she'd _last _all weekend if it came to that.

Blythe studied her a moment longer, her lips pursed. "Good," she finally affirmed. "Then I think we understand one another."

Cuddy wasn't so sure what understanding they had reached but a wave of relief swept over her regardless, just in having the conversation conclude.

There was a knock at Cuddy's door just then and she startled, looking up to find House standing there with Evie in his arms, his car now parked behind her. She unlocked the door, allowing him to open it. He took one look at Cuddy's tear-streaked face and exhaled heavily in aggravation before moving around the front of the car to open Blythe's door. "Get in my car," he ordered wearily.

Blythe looked at him, shocked by how he was rudely bossing her around. "Now," he muttered.

Her eyes narrowed but she got out as instructed, somewhat indignant at his treatment of her, and went to his car, climbing into the passenger seat.

House hesitated, watching her go, but then reluctantly climbed into Cuddy's car, adjusting Evie in his arms before shutting the door behind him and glancing at Rachel in the backseat. Then he redirected his attention to Cuddy. "What happened?" he finally demanded, already knowing he didn't want to know the answer.

The sight of Evie there in House's lap just further convicted her for her failures. Cuddy didn't know why, as the worst seemed to be over, but she suddenly started to cry, covering her face with her hands.

House looked at her in bewilderment, and then with regret, as he'd _allowed _her to decide his mother could ride with her and was… maybe partly responsible for whatever Cuddy had been forced to suffer through. He supposed he should just be thankful that he hadn't had to retrace too many of his steps before locating Cuddy's car where she'd parked it. All the same, he was tempted to _kill _his mother for this. House _did not _appreciate the guilt stirring within him. He shouldn't have anything to feel guilty for.

Firming his lips, he reached out and unbuckled Cuddy's seatbelt before carefully pulling her towards him across the front seat, holding both Evie and Cuddy while stroking her back, trying to calm her down before he had to worry she'd… have some kind of _crisis_ and end up _back_ in a severely depressed state. The only other reason he could think of to justify this sudden display of compassion on his part, outside his sense of responsibility for the situation Cuddy had found herself in with his mother, clearly out of her depth and unprepared for whatever his mother had gone and said, was the fact that he'd had his own noteworthy encounter with his mother that day, though the image of Cuddy's expression when his mother had indicated she wanted to ride with her also came to mind. Cuddy's arms wrapped around him and Evie automatically and House sighed before murmuring, "Shh. It's alright Cuddy. It's going to be alright." He had no idea _what_ was going to be alright, but it was the only thing he could think of to say in that moment.

He directed his gaze to Rachel who was frowning. "Mommy very sad," she informed him seriously, looking about ready to cry herself, her little lip trembling.

"Mommy's going to be okay," he reassured her, his hand continuing to rub Cuddy's back.

"Me not sure grandma so nice," Rachel said sadly.

House looked up at the ceiling, his mouth firming a moment. He thought about replying but opted not to, not really knowing what to say as he didn't have the first clue what had happened in the time since they'd pulled out of his driveway.

He unconsciously ran a hand through Cuddy's hair as she started to calm down before asking in mild frustration, "What did she say, Cuddy?"

She sniffed, not wanting to release him, not wanting him to release her. There was something about being wrapped in House's arms that just made her feel like she was finally where she'd been meant to be all along and… as close as she was likely to ever get to him. Cuddy breathed in his scent and briefly clutched him tighter before turning her head slightly to the side, still keeping her face pressed against his chest as her eyes fell on their little girl. She felt like her behavior right now bordered on the absurd, but then, she'd only _just _made her way back to finding herself on a somewhat even keel. Evie stared at her wide-eyed, her own head resting on her daddy's chest. Cuddy brought a hand up to wipe tears away before reaching out and caressing Evie's cheek.

Instead of answering House's question, she brokenly asked, "Did you tell your mother Evie doesn't need a mom?" Cuddy had to know.

House groaned in disbelief before bringing his hands to her arms and pushing her away from him enough to see her face. "I _never _said that," he muttered, briefly looking down at Evie in his lap. "You _know _I want you in Evie's life. You _know _I think she needs a mother. Did _she _say that I don't think Evie needs a mother? Because that wasn't at all what I said, Cuddy. You ought to know better than that," he admonished. "I… I think I've been pretty da… _supportive,_ especially for _me._"

Cuddy nodded, swallowing the lump in his throat. "What _did_ you say?" she asked, brushing away her tears before swallowing hard, already regretting the loss of contact.

House brought his hand up, cupping her cheek and stroking it softly, but then realized what he was doing and immediately released her. Looking out the back window towards his car, he dismissively said, "I have my own issues with my mother right now. It's not your problem, Cuddy. You've got enough to deal with."

Cuddy opened her mouth to reply but House cut her off by asking, "Is that why you've been crying? Because my mom implied I didn't think Evie needed you?" He seriously hoped Cuddy was not _that _vulnerable, nor that sensitive to what he might or might not think. He wanted her to respect him but not to suddenly fall apart over stupid things. That did not seem promising for any of them.

Cuddy shook her head, looking down at her lap.

"What _else _did she say?" he asked, obviously irritated.

Cuddy reached past him for the glove compartment, opening it to rummage for a Kleenex. Sighing at being unable to find any, she met his gaze and asked, "Do you have any tissues on you?"

House dug in his pocket and pulled out a pack, handing it to her.

"Thanks," she murmured before removing one to blow her nose, then taking the baby from him, turning so that her knee touched his.

"I told you that she could ride with me," he reminded, reaching forward to brush Evie's hair out of her eyes before looking up at Cuddy. "If she was causing problems for you, you could have called me. The _last _thing you should have done was pull over and give her a captive audience. We're two minutes from the restaurant. You could have temporarily dealt with it and then turned her over to me to deal with. Anyway, what _else _did she say? What brought on the meltdown?"

She rolled her eyes, turning Evie around in her arms to hold her closer to her heart before hesitantly admitting, "I was doing alright until she said she was glad l 'finally decided to start acting like a mother' to Evie."

House laughed semi-distastefully and Cuddy looked at him sharply, her eyes narrowing. "It's not funny," she stated, her eyes flashing.

"Did you tell her it was my fault you weren't part of the picture from the get-go?" he asked wryly, reclining his head on the headrest.

Cuddy looked at him in confusion before murmuring, "But it wasn't your fault, House."

He puffed out a breath of air through his nose, shaking his head, looking out through the front windshield. This day was turning into a train wreck. But really, what had he expected? He raked a hand through his hair and muttered, "Well, that's not what I've been hearing from her since day one."

Cuddy frowned, not understanding what he was talking about.

"Not that it will make you feel better," he continued dryly. "But she means well. She's not protesting your return but your absence. And that actually _could _be taken as a good thing, where my mom is concerned. After all, you have to understand that my own mother thinks I'm incapable in the parenting department. What was it she said to you? What did you say to me back in October? Something about my not being able to handle parenting."

Cuddy froze, remembering. "_If you can't handle being a parent, that's not my problem."_ That's what she'd said to him. "House," she began, pained, reaching to touch his arm. "_I _was the one who couldn't handle parenting back then. I'm _so _sorry for saying that to you."

"I'm not looking for an apology, Cuddy," he replied, reaching for the door handle. "I'm just saying don't let my mother get to you. She's not infallible."

Pausing, the door halfway open, he looked back at her and asked, "Did she say anything else?"

Cuddy glanced down at the floor and murmured, "Besides telling me that a mother abandoning her child was beyond her ability to comprehend and that she found my behavior quite 'reprehensible'? No. Not really."

House rubbed a hand over his face before expelling his breath and nodding resignedly. "So I'll see you at home or are you going back to your house for the time being?" he finally asked, taking Evie from her.

"What?" she asked in confusion.

"Well, I assume the _last _thing you want is to spend more time in my mother's presence right now," House responded dryly. "Because frankly, _I'm _ready to call it a night after this, even if I won't. Still, if you want to escape now and do your own thing or run for the hills, I'm not about to stop you."

"Oh. No. We're _going _out to eat," Cuddy replied assertively, her chin coming up. "Olive Garden is calling my name and I'm not about to admit defeat so easily."

House looked at her as if she'd lost her mind.

"I'm _NOT_ going to wimp out when I've made it _this _far," she stated in determination, reaching for her seatbelt. "And besides, I want to see who you convince to foot the bill for this dinner," she teased with a small smile.

He raised an eyebrow at her but then the corner of his mouth rose in a half-smile and he wryly stated, "_That_ sounds more like the Cuddy I used to know."

Cuddy stared at him, a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth, and then released her hold on her seatbelt before sliding over on the seat, back towards him. She caught his jaw before he could back away from her and pressed a feather-light kiss to his cheek. "Thanks for coming back to check on us and for making me feel better, House," she said in acknowledgement. The words "I love you" were on the tip of her tongue but she carefully held them back. She longed to be so honest as to say them but contained them all the same, not knowing how to judge when the time was right to actually voice her sentiments.

He quirked an eyebrow at her, resisting the urge to touch the spot on his cheek where her lips had just been. "She's my mother," he finally drolly replied. "She's spent the first half of her life embarrassed by my behavior and she'll spend the second half embarrassing me by hers."

Cuddy laughed softly as she watched him reach back to tweak Rachel's hair. "You hungry, kid?" he asked then.

Rachel nodded. "Me _so _hungry, daddy!"

"Then let's get this show on the road," House responded, turning to climb out of Cuddy's car, shutting the door behind him. He walked back to his car, buckled Evie into her car seat, and climbed in the driver's seat, starting the engine without saying anything to his mother.

Blythe cleared her throat to speak but House cut his mother off. "Don't," he gruffly stated, pulling back onto the road while feeling his mother's eyes on him. He waited until he was through the next intersection, Cuddy pulling out behind him, before mumbling, "Just... give her a break, mom. _I _don't need this right now. And _you _want to be able to spend time with your granddaughter. So _don't_ put me in a position where I have to seriously question whether or not I can trust you in the same room with her. If you make her miserable, that'll impact my kids and right now, my kids are my first priority."

"_Honey_! I barely said _anything_ to her!" Blythe defensively argued as he pulled into Olive Garden's lot.

House dryly chuckled, parking before rubbing a hand over his face. "You said enough," he muttered.

"Well you're my _son _and Georgia is my _granddaughter._ I want what's best for _both _of you and… I want to know that _Lisa's _going to get her act together and commit herself to giving you both that!" Blythe declared, crossing her arms over her chest, her chin rising into the air as she gave him a pointed look.

"Mother, it's _my _job to make sure Cuddy does right by Evie. _Not _yours," House sternly stated. "And as for me, there's _nothing _I want from Cuddy _except _to know that Evie is important to her and that she's committed to being her mother from here on out. I don't want _anything _from her personally. I'll take care of myself."

Blythe studied her son for a moment but then said, "_You_ _know, _I think she genuinely has _feelings _for you."

House expelled his breath in a huff. "Mom, _don't_ _go there_. I know you have this image in your head of seeing your son becoming this _happy, self-actualized family man_ with a wife and kids and… _living the American dream_. But that _isn't _going to happen for me so you might as well forget it. It was never even a remote _possibility_. Cuddy and I… we're through. What happened between us, whatever I felt for her or she felt for me... it doesn't matter anymore. It's in the past."

"Gregory House," she scolded. "I'm _not _talking about the past! I'm _talking _about the _present!_ And I honestly believe she _cares_ for you. _Right_ _this minute_. Now, you _may _fault me for wanting you to find a _little_ happiness and to have someone to love and to be loved by, _but _that's what mothers _do _for their children!"

"Mom," House muttered, his eyes falling on Cuddy who stood in front of his car, Rachel in her arms, clearly uncertain as to whether she should just wait for them or go on into the restaurant, before he dropped his gaze to his lap. "Romantic love is overrated. I've got my girls. That… that's enough for me."

"What _happened _between you two?" Blythe murmured. "You just _defended _her to your own mother, which to me says that _you _have feelings for her. And I'm many things but _not _blind."

House gave her a skeptical look, his thoughts immediately going to her naïveté throughout his childhood regarding his dad but she pressed on, her lips firming. "You _just _kicked me out of her car and then got in there with her. Even from inside your car I could _see _you holding her. Now Greg, you are _many _things and… have surprised me in a variety of ways over the years, but you are _by nature _uncomfortable with emotional displays. Your instinct is to run _from _them not_ towards_ them. So for you to react instinctively by pulling her _into your arms _makes me think you feel something for her. Something stronger than your fight or flight tendencies."

"I _am _occasionally capable of a little thing called compassion," he sarcastically retorted.

She smiled and shook her finger at him while shaking her head. "No. This _wasn't _compassion. _This_ is a little something the rest of the world calls _love_."

House rolled his eyes, reaching for the door handle to climb out of the car.

"Did she break your heart, dear?" Blythe asked inquisitively, watching him carefully. "Is that why you're so adamantly trying to convince me that there's nothing between you two? I've seen how you are when you get hurt and regardless of what you say, I think I do know when you're fighting yourself in something."

House froze in the midst of opening his door. Finally he muttered, "Can we _just _have a quiet, peaceful dinner and _not _discuss the past, present, or future OR try to delve into the depths of my nonexistent soul?"

Blythe nodded, ignoring his "nonexistent soul" remark, presently satisfied with her conclusion that he _did _have feelings for Lisa Cuddy. Mothers were made for meddling. She'd ensure her son's future happiness yet, especially since he so obviously felt she'd… sentenced him to years of suffering long ago, somehow depriving him of whatever chance he might have had of being happy or… being better off calling someone else dad. Closing her eyes briefly to fight the pain, she reached for the door and pushed it open, climbing out to follow everyone into the restaurant.

-----

"**_Do you know what's worth fighting for?  
When it's not worth dying for?  
Does it take your breath away  
And you feel yourself suffocating?_**

_**Does the pain weigh out the pride?  
And you look for a place to hide?  
Did someone break your heart inside?  
You're in ruins**_

_**One, 21 guns  
Lay down your arms, give up the fight  
One, 21 guns  
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I**_

_**When you're at the end of the road  
And you lost all sense of control  
And your thoughts have taken their toll  
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul**_

_**Your faith walks on broken glass  
And the hangover doesn't pass  
Nothing's ever built to last  
You're in ruins**_

_**One, 21 guns  
Lay down your arms, give up the fight  
One, 21 guns  
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I**_

_**Did you try to live on your own  
When you burned down the house and home?  
Did you stand too close to the fire  
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?**_

_**When it's time to live and let die  
And you can't get another try  
Something inside this heart has died  
You're in ruins**_

_**One, 21 guns  
Lay down your arms, give up the fight  
One, 21 guns  
Throw up your arms into the sky**_

_**One, 21 guns  
Lay down your arms, give up the fight  
One, 21 guns  
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I"**_

* * *

Song: "21 Guns" (Green Day)


	81. Steal Your Love

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

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_(I'm dividing this chapter and the next since its already long enough so that I can actually post! I am SO sorry the wait has been so long guys! You've been remarkably patient with me! I've just had an impossible time getting the words to flood my brain and flow through my fingertips! I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you to Lucky08 who suggested the song!)_

_(After I watched the first few minutes from Monday's episode, as I was contemplating things, what REALLY struck me was just how much Cuddy has CHANGED this season from the seasons before. And it goes all the way down to the side of the bed she now sleeps on! And this is going to sound retarded, but until she's back on the right side of the bed, I can't see her with House. I want the old Cuddy back. And I always LOVED the fact that they slept on opposite sides of the bed because we could pretend like one day it would all work out for them and they'd already be PREPARED for sharing a bed (space-wise)(yes, I know I'm silly), not having to argue about what side was his or hers. How annoying that she's changed her side of the bed for Lucas too! Or maybe that's a good thing, I guess. I wouldn't really want Lucas sleeping on House's side. :) At least I can comfort myself by reminding myself she's not the real Cuddy but an imposter. :) Which begs further ridiculousness on my part and so I ask, will the real Lisa Cuddy please stand up? :) Ha ha. Argh! After watching the episode though, I walked away SO angry with Cuddy. House is a better person than I am when it comes to Cuddy, clearly. I'm too ticked off at her for her first response to hearing about a mass quantity of drugs missing from the pharmacy being to automatically assume it's Vicodin, House has obviously screwed up ONCE again, is back at it, and is NOW upping his game to not just ripping off the hospital but doing it in spades. What was she thinking?! That he wanted to find out if she'd still protect him when she's not even being a friend to him anymore?! Sigh. I know. Strong reaction but what can I say? He was House in this episode, and yet, much more forgiving than I am currently capable of, concerning Cuddy. The episode just made my heart ache and… this chapter all the harder to write. Still, I hope you enjoy this chapter though!)_

* * *

House held the door open, allowing Cuddy, Rachel, and his mother to enter Olive Garden ahead of him before he carried Evie within. The restaurant wasn't overly populated so they were quickly seated and the waiter served Blythe a glass of wine while Rachel had lemonade, Cuddy an iced tea, and House a Coke. They placed their dinner orders and then the waiter left their side, returning a few minutes later with a bowl of salad and a basket of breadsticks.

Rachel sat to the left of Cuddy while Evie was to her right in the high chair the waiter brought for them, House to Evie's right and Blythe between Rachel and House. He drank his pop in silence, his attention mostly upon Evie, passing her bits of breadsticks to keep her occupied as Cuddy stole glances at him in between taking bites of her salad and coloring with Rachel.

"So Lisa, tell me, how are things at Princeton-Plainsboro?" Blythe asked, taking another sip of wine after setting her fork down.

Cuddy looked up at her, not oblivious to how House instantly shifted uncomfortably in his chair. She briefly wondered whether it was the subject matter or the fact that his mother was talking to her that provoked a reaction. She wasn't sure she _wanted_ to know about the conversation between House and his mother once he'd returned to his car, though of course she was curious what had passed between them. Meeting Blythe's eyes, she said, "This last week has been quite busy, as we've had a number of people take vacation time to extend their Memorial Day weekend and I've had to make sure we are adequately staffed and call in some favors to cover surgeries that we are unable to push back, but otherwise, everything has been running smoothly."

"Who watches Rachel while you work?" Blythe inquired then.

House raised an eyebrow slightly but made no comment, leaving it up to Cuddy to answer that question.

Cuddy motioned her lips and explained, "I've had a nanny up until this point. Monday Rachel will start going to Riverside East with House and Evie though, entering the daycare program there."

Disapproval flitted across Blythe's expression but Cuddy missed it as she looked at House and smiled softly, her eyes tracing over his features with affection before adding, "Rachel's never been in daycare before but I think she'll enjoy being around other kids her age, not to mention having her daddy so close."

House glanced up at Cuddy, something tightening in his chest at her words and then furthermore by the way she was looking at him. He stole a look at his mother to find her eyebrows raised, a look he clearly recognized as one of satisfaction about her mouth. That look caused him to shift uncomfortably once more as he dropped his gaze before his mother's eyes could lock on his, to the ring of water left upon the table as he brought his drink up to his mouth, uncertain whether he _ought _to be feeling anything at all in regards to Cuddy's words and _knowing _it was a mistake to feel anything over the way she looked at him. He cleared his throat but didn't say anything, reaching out to catch a crayon that was rolling away from Rachel in his direction, flicking it back her way.

"Why don't you stay home with the girls?" Blythe queried pointedly before murmuring, "I don't understand why so many women allow _other_ people to raise their children these days."

House looked at Cuddy who was biting her lip, searching for an appropriate response, before directing his attention to his mother and interceding. "Not very many women quit their jobs to stay home and raise kids anymore, mom," he replied before awkwardly adding, "Cuddy loves what she does. And she… makes a difference there. PPTH is a big part of who she is."

Cuddy stared at House in surprise as he looked everywhere but at her. She could see how ill at ease he was over what he'd just said but that only furthered the feeling of being choked up over hearing him say something so… complimentary, considering this was House speaking.

Blythe looked his way and sternly said, "But these two girls…"

Cuddy was quick to interrupt. "My daughters are _very _important to me. I love them very much," she declared, unable to prevent the smile that found its way onto her lips after hearing what House said. "But I also love my job and I don't think the girls are suffering because I'm not home with them 24/7. I also have financial responsibilities that would be hard to meet if I didn't work."

"But your job _must _be a stressful one," Blythe responded shrewdly. "And from the sounds of it, taking some time off work to be with Georgia would be a good idea. It would allow you two to get to know each other better and develop the relationship a mother and child _should _share."

"I can't just take an extended leave from work," Cuddy replied quietly, taking a sip of her iced tea. "There's no one to readily take my place and the board would never approve. Besides, Evie and I _are _developing a relationship."

"I see you've fallen into the same habit as Greg of calling her by that nickname. What is _wrong _with calling her Georgia?" Blythe pressed.

"There's nothing wrong with it, mom," House stated. "But there's nothing wrong with calling her Evie either. Lay off." Deciding it was time to change the subject and making it his responsibility to get his mother to stop with the Spanish Inquisition, he asked, "So mom, is there anything you wanted to do while in town this weekend?"

"No," she responded, looking at him before giving him a small smile, knowing how he could get when he got his feathers ruffled. "Nothing I can think of. I really just want to spend the weekend with you and Georgia."

He nodded. "How's the hotel room?" he asked next.

"It's lovely, dear," Blythe replied simply.

Before House could say anything more, she turned to Cuddy and asked, "How long are you and Rachel going to be staying with Greg?"

"I'm not sure," Cuddy answered after taking another bite of her salad. "I suppose that depends on Evie."

"Georgia's going to need her mother around for the next eighteen years. I think the _only _appropriate thing would be to make this a permanent living arrangement," Blythe said.

House readjusted his seating position, biting back a groan. It wasn't that he _wanted _Cuddy and Rachel to move out. He didn't. But his mother was just… He didn't even know how to reply to that. To make this a permanent arrangement carried with it a commitment he just wasn't willing to make. If it stopped working for them, he wanted to be able to say so and feel no guilt over asking her to move back home. That required a home for her to go back to.

"Mom," he finally began impatiently. "Cuddy's got her own place. She can't leave it vacant forever."

"She can sell it," Blythe interrupted to point out.

"Someday she will need it," House countered. "This is a temporary arrangement."

"But it would be better for Georgia if it was a permanent one," Blythe replied pointedly.

Cuddy looked up with relief as the waiter brought their food to the table, knowing House's impatience was growing alongside her anxiety. He served them and Cuddy was grateful when House then turned to Rachel after giving Evie a little bit of pasta, asking her about her day. As Rachel launched into a story of her trip to the playground with Stephanie, Cuddy let her thoughts drift to what lay ahead of them. She really hoped the day _wouldn't_ come where she and Rachel would have to move back home. But now that Stephanie and Rachel wouldn't be there during the week, it was probably time to start thinking about what exactly she _was _going to do with her vacant house. At the very least, she needed to install a security system. She wondered just how long House _was _thinking this living arrangement would last for. Going off of his reaction a week ago, he didn't really want them going anywhere, but she supposed that didn't mean he'd want them around forever, either. Or perhaps it would be more accurate to leave Rachel out of it and say House might not want _her _there forever. And while she was grateful for a subject change, the limelight now on Rachel, she couldn't help being thankful that Blythe clearly had no objection to her living with House. Maybe Blythe would yet prove supportive. She didn't seem all that opposed to a relationship developing between Cuddy and her son. That was _at least_ one positive discovery. But what Cuddy really needed was a way to change House's mind about being _with _her.

As they ate, Cuddy realized suddenly that here she was out in public with House, where _anyone _from the hospital might see them together, see Evie, and become aware of the lie she'd told. Her eyes nervously flitted around the room but she didn't see anyone that warranted her concerning herself with. It was strange that she hadn't worried about this earlier. She was getting too comfortable being with House and Evie, which was a good thing… a great thing, even. But she _needed _to be careful, at least until she decided what she was going to do regarding PPTH. The only upside was the fact that they never went anywhere together. If that could be viewed as an upside. It had been years since they'd even been in the same restaurant.

Cuddy's fork paused halfway to her mouth as she remembered that wasn't exactly true. Her eyes dropped to her plate unseeingly as she relived that day she'd had dinner reservations with Lucas and House had stolen their dinner reservation only to "invite" them to join him. She grimaced in pain for the first time, remembering how Lucas had flaunted their relationship in front of House while inflicting him with the awareness that Lucas knew all about Mayfield and House's delusion. _"I hear you were delusional though. That you thought Lisa rode in on a white horse and saved you from all your demons,"_ she heard him mock House once again. Then the image of House, clearly wounded by her… betrayal of intimate details that had been confided to her through Wilson, filled her mind and she bit her lip, not wanting to tear up. She heard herself once more tell him what she had when he'd provoked Lucas after dinner was through. _"I am not with you! I will NEVER be with you! All these games, all your attempts to get my attention, they aren't doing any good. You're acting like a child. Be a man for once! Back off and leave me alone! I'm with Lucas and I'm happy with Lucas. Quit trying to ruin things for me!"_ Cuddy groaned. Oh, she'd been an idiot!

"Are you alright?" Blythe asked for the third time, finally breaking through the fog in Cuddy's head as her mind returned from where it had been, a million miles away.

She looked up at Blythe, suddenly realizing that her fork was still poised halfway between her plate and her mouth. "I'm sorry?" she asked, moistening her lips as she tried to pull herself completely from the memories currently haunting her.

"What were you thinking about?" Blythe inquired curiously.

Cuddy looked at House, her expression flooding with guilt, and the eyebrow he had raised up in concern smoothed as he frowned, realizing whatever it was, that he wouldn't want to hear about it. Quickly turning his attention back to Evie, he searched frantically for something to say and then asked, "Mom, will you make your famous meatloaf tomorrow?"

Blythe turned to him, her eyes lighting up with pleasure. "Of course," she agreed. "I'll look in your fridge and cupboards tonight to see what you have and then tomorrow morning I will go to the store and buy whatever I still need."

"Thanks," House mumbled, quickly diverting her then into a conversation about the latest redecorating she'd done in her condo.

Cuddy watched him as he continued to keep his mother distracted throughout the rest of the meal. As she helped Rachel with her dinner and occasionally gave something to Evie to try, she couldn't help wondering just how much she'd come to regret asking House to just leave her alone. Now that he was and didn't seem to be interested in doing otherwise, well, what she wouldn't give to have him do _something, anything, _to demand her attention once again.

* * *

House opened the door and allowed his mother to enter the house ahead of him, passing Evie to her before heading to Cuddy's car once she'd pulled in so that he could get Rachel out. His mother had attempted to return to the conversation prior to the arrival of everyone's food, but he'd cut her off, making it clear he was ready for a subject change before directing her attention to Evie and how much she'd grown since the last time Blythe had seen her and how much she was now doing that she'd been too little to do at Christmastime. Thankfully, it was a subject that held Blythe's interest and the rest of dinner had passed smoothly. He'd also been quite relieved on the car ride home to find her content to ask questions about Rachel, leaving both subjects, that of his dad and of Cuddy, alone.

Cuddy opened her car door and climbed out, turning to smile at House as he opened the door to the backseat of her car and unbuckled Rachel from her car seat, Cuddy's eyes momentarily settling on his backside with appreciation as he bent over to free Rachel from her confinement. Realizing she was lustfully staring while his mother was just inside the house, she quickly shook her head to clear her mind and turned back to grab her purse before closing her door, wondering when she'd become the type of woman to stare at a man's backside, practically salivating. She vaguely contemplated whether or not she was ovulating. Or maybe it had just been way too long for her.

"Daddy, we play with Cookie Monster now?" Rachel asked as House closed the car door and adjusted her weight in his arms.

"Sure," he conceded with a casual shrug, one Cuddy recognized Rachel had picked up on and begun to adopt herself. "But it's going to be bedtime soon so we can't stay outside too long."

Cuddy smiled, still finding it amusing to hear House talk about bedtimes and moreover, actually intending to stick to them, atypical behavior for the classic rule-breaker he was.

He glanced at her and wryly asked, "You surviving?"

She nodded, appreciating the question. "Maybe we'll all go outside for a little while," she said then, thinking perhaps she didn't want to be left inside alone with Blythe.

House read her mind and chuckled dryly. "Sounds like a plan," he responded, heading inside ahead of her.

Monster barked happily at them as they entered the kitchen and House set Rachel down before opening his pen so he could scamper out. "We're going to go out back for a while mom," he informed Blythe as he took Evie from her. "Want to come out with us?"

Cuddy slipped out to grab a blanket to lay out on the lawn incase Evie wanted down, not hearing Blythe's response, but when she returned to the kitchen, everyone, including Blythe, was heading out the backdoor leading to the deck. She followed.

"You said Rachel's two?" Blythe asked Cuddy as she watched Rachel jump down the steps to the yard, House holding her hand along the way, releasing it once she was standing in the yard so that she could run off after Cookie Monster.

Cuddy smiled, also watching Rachel, House, and Evie. "She'll be three at the end of November," she replied.

"And she's adopted, correct?" Blythe inquired.

Cuddy nodded, continuing forward and descending the steps as well to spread out the blanket for Evie to play on. Rachel _was _adopted and that was not something Cuddy had ever intended to cover up, nor something she was ashamed of. She didn't know _what _Blythe's thoughts were on adoption but it didn't really matter to her one way or the other. Rachel was one of the dearest blessings Cuddy had been given in recent years and she was not just content with having a child to call her own, but proud of having adopted her and making Rachel hers. For the briefest moment she imagined herself telling Blythe she hoped House would adopt Rachel and officially and legally become her father, but then she dismissed the idea as unsuitable, as it would potentially put House in a position of feeling pressured and frankly, it was something she wanted him to _want_ to do, not feel _obligated_ to do.

House headed back in their direction, settling Evie down on the blanket before sitting down beside her.

Cuddy automatically knelt down beside him and Evie, tucking her skirt around her legs as she drew them up to the side of her.

Blythe on the other hand, remained standing, watching Rachel and the puppy run around in circles. "She could pass for being your biological child," she said then.

Cuddy looked up at her in surprise and confusion but Blythe added, "Both of yours. Greg's hair was that color as a boy. And her eyes are similar to your color."

Cuddy just nodded slightly, not knowing what to say to that, while House glanced from his mother to Cuddy, an eyebrow raised.

Rachel shrieked and giggled, running their way with Monster right behind her, barking excitedly. She threw herself into House, wrapping her arms around his neck, happily exclaiming, "He getting me, daddy! He getting me!"

House chuckled and reached for the puppy, catching him and flipping him over to scratch his belly, roughhousing with him once Rachel released her hold on his neck and knelt beside him to peer at the puppy who was struggling to turn himself back over and make a getaway. "Errr. Errr," House growled, looking over at Evie when she giggled in response to what he was doing and the noises he was making.

Cuddy looked from him to Evie, then to Rachel and the dog, her eyes quite expressive and full of tender emotion.

"You're going to turn him into a biter," Blythe murmured warningly as the puppy squirmed underneath his hand, still trying to get free.

House released him, scratching him behind the ears when the puppy flipped over, his tongue lolling out as he panted from their play. He glanced in his mother's direction, shaking his head. "He's not aggressive, mom. Just playful."

Blythe looked at the puppy doubtfully but said nothing more.

"Daddy, you give me ride?" Rachel asked, as Cookie Monster started chewing at a piece of grass stuck to his paw.

House got to his feet slowly, Cuddy biting her lip as she watched him scoop Rachel up and settle her on his shoulders, unable to contain the smile that she was trying so hard to hold back as Rachel started giggling while House dramatically made her bob up and down, his upper body moving with her.

"Greg, you shouldn't play with her like that," Blythe said sternly. "You might fall and then she'd get hurt. Your leg can't handle that much pressure."

House looked at his mother in irritation that quickly turned to frustration as he felt like she was shaming him in front of Cuddy, underestimating what he was capable of. "My leg's fine," he gruffly replied. "I know what I can and cannot handle and this isn't putting any real stress on my leg."

"House plays with Rachel all the time," Cuddy heard herself say, defending him even if she wasn't so sure he'd appreciate it. "He knows what his leg can tolerate. And besides, he's been working out. His leg is stronger than it's been in a long time."

House looked at her skeptically but didn't say anything, too confused as to what she was trying to do to respond.

"You're going to spoil her if you play with her all the time," Blythe remarked then, causing Cuddy's eyes to widen as she looked from Blythe to House.

"She's a kid," House dryly responded, his gaze locked upon his mother. "I can't _spoil _her by playing with her too much."

"You can if you give her too much attention," Blythe replied adamantly before she unthinkingly added, "Your father never played with you like this."

"Maybe I'd have turned out better if he had," House retorted, unable to stop himself. Realizing what he'd just said, and in Cuddy's presence, his jaw clenched involuntarily.

Blythe tsk-tsked him before saying, "Gregory, I really don't understand your attitude towards…"

House interrupted before she could say anything more, lifting Rachel down from his shoulders and setting her back on her feet. "Not here, not now, mother," he muttered firmly.

Blythe exhaled through her nose but nodded slightly after a moment, agreeing with him that this conversation ought to remain private, not wishing to air her private laundry in front of Lisa. Finally she said, "I think I'm going to head back to the hotel. It's been a long day. I'll let myself out though, as I'm going to check for the ingredients I need before heading on my way."

House nodded. "Night, mom. We'll see you tomorrow," he stated evenly.

Blythe bent down to press a kiss to Evie's head before turning her attention Cuddy's way. "Good night Lisa," she said then.

"Night," Cuddy replied softly, her mind still puzzling through the transaction between House and his mother.

"Good night Rachel," Blythe called out.

Rachel paused to look at her and then hesitantly waved before slipping her hand in her daddy's. House watched Blythe head into the house before he sank back down on the blanket beside Evie and Cuddy, stretching out on his back as he stared up at the sky, Rachel climbing on top of him a second later, sprawling out on his chest. He wrapped an arm around her, betting she was tired. He stroked her back, his mind drifting over the conversation he'd had with his mother earlier before he rubbed his face with his other hand.

Evie crawled over to him, climbing partway up on him to pat at his chest, babbling away. He smiled at her, his hand coming up to smooth back her hair.

"Your dad didn't play with you like you do with the girls?" Cuddy couldn't help but ask after watching him a moment.

He didn't look at her, but just quietly muttered, "Nope," not wanting to go into it.

Cuddy bit her lip, frowning. "Why not?" she finally queried.

"Guess he didn't think it was all that important, nor that it was his responsibility to entertain me," House reluctantly replied. "He wasn't there to be my friend. He was there to ensure I became the man he thought I should be." He opted not to say that he'd done everything in his power to make sure his father had failed to accomplish that goal. "Yours did?" he then asked, trying to get the focus off himself.

Cuddy nodded. "All the time," she admitted thoughtfully.

House just nodded, not saying anything, his eyes shifting from one daughter to the other, knowing Rachel wasn't asleep only because of the fact that her hand was rubbing up and down the expanse of the side of his chest, as if she was trying to comfort him or something, her head turned away from him.

"Then who taught you how to be a good father?" Cuddy inquired after silence stretched between them.

He glanced her way skeptically, his eyes doubtful, but replied, "No one."

His dubious expression caused her to declare, "You are a good father, House. Whether or not you see that."

"What are you trying to butter me up for?" he asked suspiciously. "I already paid for dinner."

The corner of Cuddy's mouth rose in a half-smile as she laughed before saying, "I'm not trying to butter you up. I'm telling you the truth. Ask my mom if you don't believe me."

House grunted at the childlike response, returning his gaze to the sky above them. "Your mother adores me. She's hardly unbiased," he jauntily remarked.

She came close to asking if he didn't think she might be a little biased too, but knew better than to ask that. Ultimately she settled on saying, "Well, that's true. She _does _adore you. Always has."

He didn't reply and she thought about inquiring if he really didn't believe her to be genuine in saying he was a good father but she didn't exactly want to know if he actually believed she was working an angle.

A car started up out front and House released a breath before carefully sitting upright, bringing Rachel with him and ensuring that Evie would fall safely on her padded butt. Noting the spaghetti sauce streaked across Rachel's neck, up until this point obscured by her hair, he wryly stated, "Rach, you need a bath."

"Me not want a bath," she sleepily responded. "Me want to play."

House chuckled in disbelief, knowing she was exhausted. "Well, if you don't want a bath, then it's time to go to bed."

"Me take bath," she quickly replied, her head bobbing vigorously.

Cuddy laughed in amusement but got to her feet before picking Evie up. "You want bath duty or bottle duty?" she asked him, enjoying the fact that… they really were _parents_ together.

House got to his feet and then grabbed the blanket they'd been sitting on. "Evie could stand a bath too," he said in response. "Maybe I'll take her into the shower with me while you give Rachel a bath. I'll make her a bottle when we get out."

Cuddy looked at him, unable to stop herself from picturing him in the shower, her heart racing and body temperature automatically climbing several degrees as she overheated at the image in her head of House, naked and wet, his skin slick from soap. Struggling to keep herself from visibly reacting to that thought, she swallowed hard, nodding before murmuring something he'd said earlier, "Sound like a plan."

House whistled for the dog, taking Rachel's hand as he headed for the deck, Monster trotting along behind him. Cuddy followed, Evie in her arms, suddenly envying her daughter's shower with daddy. Someday, she resolved, it would be her in the shower with House and getting clean wouldn't be half as important as getting… dirty.

* * *

May 28th, 2011

Cuddy came downstairs with Rachel the next morning and House glanced her way, inquisitively.

"Do you care if I go for a run and leave Rachel here with you?" she asked, her hair pulled back in a ponytail, jogging shorts and a low-cut singlet hugging her curves. For a moment she was frustrated that his reaction to her attire was so bland. She couldn't deny she'd hoped he'd react more… noticeably, maybe even provoking a sexual remark off the cuff or at least, getting his eyes to linger on her cleavage. But his eyes didn't even wander there. For Cuddy it had been a long night with an overactive imagination after she'd come downstairs from tucking Rachel in after her bath to find House in the living room, channel-surfing, Evie asleep in his arms, his hair still wet from his shower, clad in a t-shirt and pajama pants, the scent of his soap filling her nostrils and making her want to breathe it directly from his skin. She needed to burn off some energy and anyway, it had been too long since she'd last gone running. It would have been nice to see she had _some _sort of effect on him, not to mention both flattering _and_ reassuring to find he might actually hold some attraction to her still, but she got nothing other than a curious glance.

"Nope. That's fine by me," he replied, turning back to the stove.

"Thanks," she responded, pursing her lips before setting Rachel down to press a kiss to Evie's head.

Cuddy left the house a moment later and stretched before she started jogging down the block, her iPod filling her ears with some of her favorite tunes. Her mind flickered back to her conversation with Kate last Wednesday. How was she supposed to get House to accept her love? The old adage, "the way to a man's heart is through his stomach," came to mind. The only thing was that was _not at all true _where House was concerned. She wished it was. That would make this much easier. So what _was _the way to his heart? What really _mattered _to him? The girls. That was easy. His intellect, his career, his music. None of which he needed her for. So what could _she _offer him? What had been part of the mutual attraction between them in recent years? The banter, the chemistry, the… sparks. And how exactly did she bring them back? Would that be enough to have him at least… become interested again? Because she _really missed_ the way he used to look at her, right down to the ogling and staring. She wasn't quite sure what House thought of her these days, but she'd at least like the assurance he saw her as a woman, a woman who could still turn his head.

* * *

House opened the door to let Gerta in forty five minutes later and then headed back to the kitchen, putting the breakfast dishes in the dishwasher. He heard Cuddy return a few minutes after that, heading upstairs for a shower following her run, and set aside a plate for her, in case she was hungry. After cleaning up Rachel and Evie, he took them into the living room to keep them out of Gerta's way as she did her thing. While Evie played on the floor with some toys, Rachel with baby G, House settled down on the floor with his guitar, leaning against the couch watching the girls as he played various songs.

Cuddy came down and joined them some time later, entering the living room in a pair of jeans and a light blue shirt, her hair dry and straightened as she'd gotten into the habit of doing sometime after he'd left for Mayfield but which she only did occasionally now. He had to admit it was a good look for her. But sometimes on the occasions where she did take the time to straighten it, seeing it like that just triggered his thoughts back to things he didn't want to remember anymore, also reminding him of the fact that he'd only seen her hair in all its curly glory once throughout the whole time she'd been dating Lucas and that had been at Rachel's first birthday party. And he'd always wondered, did she wear it straightened like that because of Lucas or just for a change? Because she stopped taking the time to regularly straighten it once Lucas was out of the picture. House turned his head to look at Evie. Those curls were what he loved. Those curls were part of the Cuddy he'd fallen for over twenty years ago. But frowning slightly, he realized that it really shouldn't matter to him _how _Cuddy styled her hair these days. It wasn't like he was interested in tangling his fingers in her locks anymore.

"There's still some breakfast left in the kitchen if you're hungry," he finally thought to say, glancing her way briefly.

"Okay, thanks," she replied, smiling at him before looking tenderly at their two daughters and slipping out of the room.

House heard her talking to Gerta and he got up to hang his guitar up just as the doorbell rang. Rifling Rachel's hair as he passed, he went to the door and opened it, allowing his mother to enter, a bag of groceries in her arms.

"Hey," he greeted her.

"Hi honey," she responded, stepping inside and passing him the bag of groceries. "Where are the girls?"

"In the living room," he replied, shutting the door. "And Cuddy's in the kitchen."

Blythe walked into the living room to greet both of the girls while House went through the dining room to enter the kitchen and put away the groceries she'd brought along with her. Cuddy was standing up against the island, eating while chatting with Gerta who was in the process of sweeping the floor.

"My mom's here," he told her when she looked his way, though he imagined she already knew that since the doorbell had gone off moments ago.

Cuddy nodded, walking to the sink to rinse off her plate before placing it into the dishwasher and starting it up. She wiped her wet hands on a towel before turning, heading for the living room to greet Blythe, swaying her hips provocatively when House followed behind her, confident that the jeans she'd chosen were the ones that best accented her assets.

If House noticed, he certainly didn't reveal it in any way, for when she glanced back in his direction upon entering the living room, his attention was elsewhere. He bypassed her completely to scoop Evie up, heading for her room to give her a diaper change.

"Morning, Blythe," Cuddy politely greeted, redirecting her attention to House's mother, trying not to exhale a breath of disappointment in her failure to catch House's eye, even in the best jeans she had.

"Good morning, Lisa," Blythe replied.

"How did you sleep?" Cuddy asked, racking her brain for questions to ask her.

"Very well, surprisingly. I normally don't sleep too well in hotels but I was really tired after the drive yesterday, so I think that helped," she responded, taking a seat on the couch.

Cuddy nodded, her eyes shifting to Rachel who was cradling her baby doll and pretending to feed her a bottle. Rachel looked up at her and asked, "Mommy, baby G wants to go to the park. We go?"

Cuddy laughed but then said, "We'll have to ask daddy and see what he says." It was obvious going to the park with Stephanie had whetted Rachel's appetite.

"Ask me what?" House queried as he reentered the room.

"Daddy, we go to the park?" Rachel inquired hopefully.

"What do you say, mom? Want to go to the park with us?" he asked, allowing her to take Evie from him.

"Sure," she replied with a nod.

"Go grab your shoes, Rach," he instructed as she got up, jumping enthusiastically.

"Me not know where they at," Rachel declared a moment later as she ran out of the room to look for them anyway.

"I'll help her," Cuddy murmured, her hand touching House's arm in passing as she left the room.

House turned, heading to the front closet to grab out his sneakers before walking into Evie's room and selecting a pair of socks and shoes before removing a light jacket from the closet for her.

"It's a bit windy out," Blythe informed him, having followed him into the room. "You should put some clips in her hair or something to keep it out of her eyes."

House nodded, turning to remove a couple ponytail binders and her brush from where he kept them before heading to her and brushing as much of Evie's hair as he could into two little pigtails on top the sides of her head, hoping she wouldn't just pull them out. Then he took her from his mother to set her upright on the diaper changing table, putting her socks and shoes on before slipping her jacket onto her arms. A moment later he had her zipped and scooped her back up to pass to his mother before grabbing her diaper bag and heading to make her a bottle, just in case, while informing Gerta of the fact they were leaving.

By the time he had everything ready to go, Cuddy and Rachel were waiting at the back door, along with Blythe and Evie. They headed out and Blythe gave Evie back to House to buckle into her car seat before going to her own car, re-parking it on the street, out of the way.

"We'd only have to take one car if you wanted to sit in the middle in the front seat," House said to Cuddy with a shrug.

Cuddy thought about it only a moment before agreeing, thinking of how it would at least offer her an opportunity to sit close beside him, her leg pressed to his, then watching as he turned to grab the second car seat she'd gotten for him to install in his car for Rachel, locking it in the backseat securely. House picked up Rachel and buckled her in while Cuddy got in the front seat, scooting along until she was in the middle, thankful his car was roomy enough to make this work.

"You could actually fit back here between these two car seats," House said as he clicked Rachel's buckle into place. "You're skinny enough. But it might be a bit of a tight squeeze. Not to mention you have to crawl over a car seat to do so."

House was calling her _skinny?_ Cuddy thought to herself, an eyebrow raised. "Whatever happened to my rotund supertanker?" she asked dryly, eyeing him skeptically. "Did I park it somewhere and misplace it?"

House glanced back at her, caught off guard by her reference to one of the sexual remarks regarding his perception of her assets which used to slip out of his lips without any effort at all but no longer did. She smiled wryly but House didn't have the first clue how to respond to her question and… didn't even want to. He didn't have it in him to think of Cuddy sexually anymore, nor did he want to mislead her into thinking he did. It was with relief that he noted his mother's return to the car, relieving him of having to say anything at all.

"We're all riding together?" his mother asked him as he climbed out of the backseat, shoving aside what Cuddy had just asked him as he focused his attention on his mother.

"There's room," he said with another shrug, closing the door before heading around the back of the car to slide into the driver's seat. Blythe climbed into the car beside Cuddy and buckled her seatbelt before closing the door. House buckled his seatbelt as well, the back of his fingers unconsciously rubbing lightly against Cuddy's side in the process.

She shivered involuntarily and he looked at her before asking, "You warm enough?"

She nodded, her eyelashes fluttering as she turned to meet his gaze and found his face much closer than expected, her breath momentarily catching at his proximity and the heat radiating off him.

House realized how intimate this situation was, remembering that moment on the drive back from Georgia when she'd practically thrown herself at him while intoxicated and immediately turned back to face forward, inserting his keys into the ignition and starting the engine. "The park isn't too far from here," he managed to say, trying to ignore the disquiet stirring within him.

He pulled out of the garage, down the driveway, and onto the street before driving the five minutes it would take to get to the nearest park. Once he pulled into the parking lot, he parked and waited for Cuddy to unbuckle her seatbelt, his mother getting out of the car, before unbuckling his own and climbing out, releasing the girls one after the other from their car seats and passing Evie to Cuddy, who had come around to his side before he lifted Rachel free, setting her down outside and watching her run for the playground while closing her door. Then he turned to follow, Blythe walking on his right while Cuddy walked on his left, close by his side, Evie babbling and playing with her lips.

House smiled at Evie, reaching out to stroke a finger across her cheek as she alternated into saying "da" repeatedly.

Cuddy met his gaze over Evie's head and smiled at him. "Did you put her hair up in pigtails or did your mom?"

"I did," he replied before rolling his eyes and adding, "Though she told me to."

Cuddy nodded, smiling at his admission before her eyes flitted back to Evie in her arms. "She's really just… beautiful, isn't she?" she commented then.

"She is," he acknowledged. "Rachel too. Did you look at those kids in the toddler room? They were cute but they have nothing on her," he proudly remarked, looking over to the playground equipment to track her down, a search made easier by the fact that there were only a couple other kids at the park, both of whom were swinging.

Cuddy laughed, shaking her head. "I hope you don't intend to tell the other parents that," she teased.

House snorted, a smirk finding its way onto his lips. "It's not my fault if they can't accept reality."

"Maybe I should just be thankful you're not at my hospital and it won't be me that other parents come to complain to when you say their kids don't measure up to yours," she dryly quipped.

House looked away, his lips thinning out. "I thought you already were," he mumbled before he could stop himself, then moving away from her due to his admission, heading towards the slide that Rachel was about to go down.

Cuddy froze in place a second later as she realized too late what she'd implied. Horror filled her eyes as she stared after him, her eyes then closing as she groaned. How did she always manage to _do _this, saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and completely obliterating whatever good feelings were between them?! She… felt like the biggest idiot!

Blythe sat down at a bench nearby, sending Cuddy a confused look at how she'd come to a stop and was just standing there, staring at House, not having heard the conversation.

Cuddy worried her lip between her teeth, ignoring Blythe as she struggled to figure out how to undo what she'd just done. Things didn't used to be like this. She used to be able to say whatever she wanted and not have to think of how he'd react because… he'd know her and take her smack without complaint, even returning it. But that was not their relationship anymore, though of course, a part of her longed to have those days back again. A _big _part of her. She watched House as he concentrated on Rachel, catching her as she came down the slide.

Blythe glanced to ascertain the distance between them and House before casually asking, "What did my son do or say to you after you became pregnant to cause you to walk away from Georgia at her birth?"

Cuddy looked at her in mute alarm but Blythe explained, "Maybe if I could understand what the problems were between you two, I could advise you both on how to work through them."

Cuddy exhaled noisily in disbelief, bewildered by the fact that Blythe apparently had it in her mind that _she _could accomplish what Cuddy herself couldn't and patch up their relationship or something equally preposterous.

"What did he do?" Blythe repeated.

Cuddy shook her head, trying to break through the funk she'd been thrown into. "He didn't _do _anything," she mumbled.

"So _that's_ it?" Blythe asked weightily. "He didn't do something you wanted him to do?"

"What?!" Cuddy breathed out, grappling with her confusion. "No! I told you, I had… issues of my own to deal with and couldn't _be_ involved. House didn't say or do anything after I got pregnant to make me walk away." Of course, he _had _found a way to keep her pregnant when she didn't want to be, but she wasn't about to launch into that added complication, nor spill out her soul to House's mother.

Evie started to fuss in her arms and she looked down at her before glancing in House's direction, finding his eyes upon her and his mother, a frown on his face. She doubted he'd heard what they'd said, as the slight wind blowing carried their words away from him, rather than towards him, but she could tell he recognized they were talking about something unpleasant. She felt like a ping pong ball, bouncing back and forth between what his mother wanted to talk to her about and the compulsion to go to House and explain that she hadn't meant what she'd said, the way it had sounded. Making her decision, she headed for him.

House looked away from her immediately, though he waited for her to approach, having observed Evie's display of crankiness and assuming she wanted him to take her. When she stepped up beside him, House reached for the baby and Cuddy handed her to him before saying on a sigh, "House, I didn't mean it like that. I'm not glad that…"

He interrupted. "Forget it Cuddy. It doesn't matter," he muttered dismissively.

Exasperated at having to deal with both Blythe's awkward questions and desire to intervene and House's refusal to open up to her, she huffed out a lungful of air and sharply said, "It matters to _me_. I don't _like _not having you at PPTH. Frankly, I think it _sucks_."

House looked at her in surprise over her outburst. Before he could stop himself he quietly replied, "You were the one who didn't want me there anymore. It was _your_ condition."

"Well, _my_ condition was a stupid one," Cuddy muttered. "Like a lot of things I said and did back then. I didn't want you gone. Not really. I just… wanted my own stupid way and thought I could get you to give it to me with that condition. Go figure the one time I try to manipulate you into doing what I want, I fail and it backfires on me. Not that I'm not grateful now that I failed because of course _I am_. Evie is… _beyond_ wonderful. And well, in saving her from me, you… saved me too, House."

He stared at her, frowning, but finally mumbled, "I'm going to take Evie down the slide."

Realizing this probably wasn't the place to take this conversation too far, she reluctantly nodded her acceptance of this fact, her head falling back on her neck when he turned away. At least she could be grateful she'd obviously given him _something _to think about.

Cuddy watched him carefully lower himself down at the top of the slide before settling Evie in his lap and then pausing, looking up when Rachel called out to him, demanding he wait for her too. Her heart clenched in her chest as she watched him push off with both girls in his lap, Evie squealing and Rachel giggling as House acted like he was on some incredible rollercoaster, hooting and hollering loudly, the only thing missing being the lack of his hands up in the air, since they were wrapped around the girls. A bubble of laughter spilled out from Cuddy's throat in response to his… ridiculousness. Most of the time he was now this man she found both bewildering and intoxicating, all at the same time. But being able to see glimpses of his childishness, even if it now came out with the girls instead of with her, was reassuring. Reassuring and bizarrely, boyishly… sexy. There was nothing for it. She was going to have to steal his love, one way or the other. She just hoped she could come up with a strategy here. And she prayed it wouldn't be as hard as he might choose to make it.

-----

"_**Do they lay down the law and lock up your heart?  
Gonna have to steal your love  
Some laws should be broken from the start  
Gonna have to steal your love**_

**_You ain't about to give it up for no one  
Gonna have to steal your love  
I don't need a knife, I don't need a gun  
I know how to steal your love_**

**_I don't want your drugs, I don't want your money  
I just wanna steal your love  
I want you to squeeze me and call me honey  
I just wanna steal your love_**

**_Give me your strong hand, come away with me  
I won't have to steal your love  
Come on, let me kiss you and set you free  
I won't have to steal your love  
I won't have to steal your love  
I won't have to steal your love"_**

* * *

Song: "Steal Your Love" (Lucinda Williams)

_(I really like Carrie Rodriguez's version too though.)_


	82. Gravity

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Okay what was supposed to be one chapter - this one WITH 81., has now become like... a three-part trilogy or something. So I'm going to stop now and post! Hope you enjoy! Angst, angst, angst! And boy, you'll NEVER believe what I "found out" about Blythe in this story that I didn't know this morning when I woke up. Didn't even see it coming. :) Huh. Guess I'm along for the ride too.)_

* * *

House pushed Evie in the baby swing, Cuddy sitting in the next swing over with Rachel in her lap, the back and forth motion of their swing at a gentle pace while Rachel talked about a kid who was currently running around the field nearby with a Spiderman kite at the end of the string he was racing with. House glanced over at his mom who was talking with another older woman who had joined them at the park shortly after they'd arrived with a couple kids he guessed to be her grandchildren. It was kind of nice to know she'd found someone to converse with, freeing House to neither entertain her nor be forced to corral her in whatever subject matter she deigned to bring up around or with Cuddy. He wasn't sure what she and Cuddy had been discussing earlier when he'd glanced their way and noticed some tension there, but he probably didn't want to know.

His thoughts switched to the brief conversation with Cuddy and all she'd said. Bantering a little with her… it came way too easily. And he wasn't sure he liked that even while he knew he _did_ _like that._ But he supposed he should have responded in gratitude for her reality check. And yet then she'd gone and told him that she didn't like _not_ having him at PPTH. As much as he hated himself for it, hearing her voice that she regretted putting that condition upon him, knowing that she felt like she'd lost out somehow because of it, _whatever that was meant to imply_, it _did _cause an almost chemical reaction within him and _some_ minute part of him unfurled in hearing her voice that admission. He only wished he could convince himself that it had been his ego being stroked, enjoying the idea of someone realizing just how much he contributed to PPTH being a success, rather than an underlying knowledge that Cuddy's words had affected him because it was _her _acknowledging she had perhaps _missed_ _him _in the period of time in which he'd now been long gone from there_._ And not _just _because he was brilliant at what he did but just maybe for who he was, as much of a pain in the neck as he'd been.

What was she _doing _to him?! He _couldn't afford _to start thinking about all that had taken place between them and what she meant by saying her condition regarding finding employment elsewhere was stupid like a lot of things she said and did back then. He'd forgiven her for enough. He couldn't afford to forgive her for more. And forgiving her had always come too easily. But now, the consequences of forgiveness were too high a price to pay. So the past needed to _just stay_ in the past, untouched, unstirred, unresolved. It was the only protection from further heartache he had left to him.

House scooped Evie out of the swing, groaning when he realized she was in need of a diaper change and smelled something fierce. Cuddy glanced his way and laughed when she saw the disgusted look on his face.

"Is this where you say, 'She's _your_ daughter. You change her?'" Cuddy teased, ready to leave the swing and turn Rachel over to him if he asked her to change Evie.

House exhaled heavily. "No, I got it. She's probably ready for her bottle anyway. We'll be back."

Cuddy watched him turn and head back to the car with Evie, holding her out in front of him as if her diaper might leak on him, while the baby babbled contentedly. Rachel squirmed in her lap and she brought her eyes back to her before bringing the swing to a stop and setting her down on the ground, then getting to her feet as well. Rachel scampered off in the direction of the boy flying his kite and Cuddy followed, though she watched from a little ways away as Rachel attempted to converse with the boy who was clearly more interested in Spiderman than little girls fascinated with what he was doing. Then she called her name and held out her hand, waiting for Rachel to run back to her before allowing herself to be guided by a two year old towards the playground equipment. It was nice to have this mommy time and just… get out and go to the park for a while. She wore so many hats, being Dean, Chief Administrator, Doctor Cuddy, Mommy, etc. But she had to admit while there were a few hats she still wanted to wear, _this one_, that of being mommy to Rachel and now Evie too, was one of her favorites. As hard as it had been to adjust in the beginning to taking on an additional hat and to the whole added complication of having to build a bond with Rachel after being alone for so long without personal responsibilities but only professional ones… it was _so very worth it_.

Glancing behind her towards the car, she spotted House on his way back with Evie in his arms, already drinking her bottle. It was almost _insane_, this _reality _of House as a father. He really was _so _good at it. If anyone had ever asked her what kind of father House would be, _this _would never have occurred to her in a million years. And that made her sad really, but reality was she'd never expected he'd _want _this or be as _committed _to this as he was. Knowing _he _was _willing _to change diapers, feed bottles, put kids to bed, bathe them, do all these chores that others might consider beneath them just… made her adore him all the more. And she _knew _the expression on her face in watching him was something comparable to "googly-eyed" but… what could she do about it? These days, _practically everything _he did made her heart either race or skip a beat.

House sat down on the bench beside his mother in the spot that the other grandma had vacated only a few minutes before, heading back to the car she'd come in with her grandkids in tow. Blythe reached out and brushed the hair that had escaped from Evie's pigtails out of her way before looking up at her son. "Why don't you have Lisa feed her?" she asked as if she was honestly puzzled not by the fact that Cuddy wasn't doing this but by the fact that House was doing it when Cuddy _could_ be. "She's back in the picture and yet every time I look at you, you are doing _something _with the baby."

House gave her a perplexed look. "Just because Cuddy's involved, doesn't make _me_ less involved. It doesn't put me in the backseat. Evie's _my _kid too. Didn't we have this conversation yesterday?"

Blythe studied him, obviously in a quandary as to what to make of this. "Does she not _want _to take care of Georgia?"

"She _does _take care of her. She'll change her diaper or feed her a bottle or whatever. But I don't expect her to do everything. I don't want her to. I… like this. I like being responsible for Evie," he stated almost begrudgingly.

Blythe's eyebrows rose and then she murmured, "Sometimes… I really just don't know what to think of you Greg. You really… well, this… you being a father… is _not anything like_ what I'd have expected it to be like. Though frankly, I'd long ago given up hope that you'd have kids of your own. And I can't say I think you're going about it the right way, because I think you are much too involved and somehow it just doesn't seem healthy for a father to act like this, for your sake or Georgia's, but I will admit, watching you with not only Georgia but with Rachel too has proven… _quite the experience_. Do you know the woman I was just talking with made a comment after I told her you were my son and Georgia my grandchild to say that she thought you were clearly a very good father and that I must be very proud of you?" Blythe continued in a mixture of disbelief and amazement. "She saw the very _same_ things I was witnessing and yet her reaction was… far from mine. I was _concerned_. She was _impressed._ She said her daughter's husband, well, don't quote me on this, but she called him a 'schmuck' and said all he does all weekend is sit around the house and watch television while her daughter is practically a single parent, having all the responsibility for rearing the children and receiving not a lick of help from their dad. And I thought while that must be difficult, it didn't seem _that _unacceptable. Certainly not as she made it out to be, though of course, John never was much for television so I can't really compare my own situation to hers. He had other pursuits and hobbies to occupy himself with in his free time. But anyway, of course I _am _proud of you, but _she _implied that I must also be proud of raising you to be the father you are to your children and… well, even if I _understood_ what she was talking about, I _know _I can't receive any of the credit for that because _this _was not the father I raised you to be. You're more my conception of a _mother_ to those children than a _father_. And while it _worries me_, _this woman_ praised you! So… this has been a _very _strange experience for me. And I want you to know that… maybe I'm old-fashioned and have pre-conceived notions of what you are _supposed _to be doing as a father, or _not doing_, as it may be, but… it would seem you are clearly doing _something_ right and these girls both just adore you and… well, I really just don't know _what _to make of this situation anymore."

House stared at his mom, his eyebrows furrowed. After a moment he turned his head to face forward, mulling this over in his brain. He wasn't quite sure anyone in their right mind would view what she'd just said as a compliment, but he'd grown up with her so he probably _already _wasn't in his right mind and, for his mother, it somehow _had_ been one. His mother thought _he_ was playing the role of mother. That wasn't exactly good news. But as he felt he'd already been quite emasculated over the last year and a half through all that had happened to him, it wasn't all that surprising a discovery. It stung somehow, making him feel like once again he was less than he should be or outside the social norm, but it wasn't completely unexpected. And truth be told, he _had _felt like he needed to be both father _and mother_ to Evie when Cuddy had held no interest in being in the role of mom. But even hearing that she thought he was overly involved didn't make him think twice about being so. He wasn't going to step back now. He honestly enjoyed the relationship he had with both of his girls. It… was one of the most rewarding parts of his life right now. Maybe _the_ most rewarding part. And it had really only just begun. While there was still a vast and limitless range of possibilities in existence for how he could screw this one up, there was also _potential _for this to be the greatest accomplishment of his _life._ This had to be the _oddest _admission she'd ever made to him throughout the course of Evie's life and even going beyond that. Some _stranger_ who had sat on this bench with his mother for fifteen to twenty minutes had somehow clued his mother into something he'd been trying to get her to see all along? That he didn't completely suck at this parenting thing and need Cuddy to take over for him in order for Evie to make out okay? "So you are saying," he opted to clarify uncertainly, "that while you think I'm too involved, you think I'm doing alright as a dad to my girls?"

Blythe frowned as she considered it but slowly nodded. "I guess that is what I am saying."

"Huh," he breathed out, his face devoid of emotion despite all the thoughts shooting back and forth in his brain via his synapses. "So," he began after a moment, still processing, "I don't have to be the father dad was to me in order for you to think I'm a good dad to my kids?"

"I guess not," she agreed with another slight nod of acknowledgement.

Slowly he turned his head towards her and suspiciously asked, "Who are you and what have you done with my mother?"

Blythe smiled then for the first time since she'd opened her mouth. But after a moment she sobered and softly said, "I know we don't see eye to eye where your father is concerned, but Greg, I'm sorry if I've somehow burdened you over the years with some expectation that you would live up to your father's ideals or… be more like him. You were always your own man, fighting to go your own way, and while you had more than your share of rebelliousness in you, I've _always _loved you and I am _very proud_ of whom you've become and the man you are."

House dropped his gaze, emotion constricting his airway. His mother leaned into him and then grabbed his jaw to press a kiss to his cheek and he blinked hard to keep _things_ he didn't want out, at bay. His mom _remained _very naïve and clueless, but she _had _just given him something he… needed from her, even if he'd been trying to deny to himself how much her opinion of him mattered. He struggled not to show how affected he was by what she'd said, though he managed to mumble, "Thanks mom." It was a strange relationship he shared with his mother to be sure, but, she _was _the only mother he had.

"I still think you need to shave though," Blythe added seriously. "You have such a nice face beneath all this scruffy disorder."

"_And_ she's back," House gruffly stated, though his words carried a mixture of amusement and relief to them.

Blythe reached for him and ran her hand through his hair, a smile curving her lips.

"Mom," he grumbled in protest, trying to shrug her off him half-heartedly.

Blythe laughed softly before murmuring, "If I'm going to make that meatloaf, you should probably start thinking about getting me home so I can start getting everything ready for tonight."

"Cuddy's a vegetarian," he thought to say then.

Blythe sighed but said, "Well, I'll come up with something else for her to eat. And anyway, there will be plenty of vegetables on the table. And _yes_," she asserted. "I _do _expect you to eat them."

House huffed out a breath of feigned annoyance at suddenly being treated like a kid again before getting to his feet. "Let's get going then."

Blythe stood up and House turned back to look at her and asked, "Did you get that woman's address?"

"No. Why?" she inquired in bewilderment.

"Just thought maybe I'd send her a fruit basket or something," he quipped. "She deserves an award for making my mother see reason."

Blythe shook her head at him in irritation but dismissively waved him off. "I'm not perfect but I'm not _that _bad," she muttered.

"No, you're not," he agreed, giving her an affectionate glance before turning around to search the playground for Cuddy and Rachel.

"Cuddy," he called out, waiting for her to look his way from where she stood next to one of the playground bridges which Rachel was running back and forth across. "Let's go!"

She quirked an eyebrow at his demeanor but nodded her acknowledgement, heading their way a moment later. She'd observed their strange interaction from a moment ago from a distance but she had not the slightest idea of what _that _had been about. Cuddy really wanted to ask, as whatever Blythe had said had led to a physical interaction she'd never expected to witness between them necessarily, House seemingly enduring his mother's affection and yet squirming under it, which she _would _expect from him, and yet leaving the moment perhaps "chipper" than he had been before.

"I take it you're ready to go?" she asked as she came alongside them, taking Evie from his arms a moment before Rachel launched herself at House's leg.

He nodded, scooping Rachel up before turning to head for the car, Rachel wrapping her arms around his neck and laying her head down on his chest, worn out from expending quite a bit of energy in the last hour and a half.

House and Cuddy got the girls situated in the car before the three adults climbed in the front seat. Cuddy moved her head towards House so that she could see Rachel in the rearview mirror. "She's going to be asleep by the time we get home," she murmured with a smile.

House glanced in the mirror as well, seeing what she saw, a little girl who was already struggling to keep her eyes open as she yawned. He nodded his agreement. "I don't think Evie will be far behind her though," he replied.

Sure enough, by the time they'd pulled into the garage five minutes later, both girls were asleep. Rachel woke up for a moment when House lifted her out of her car seat, but only long enough to drop her head down on his shoulder and then she was out again. Cuddy removed Evie from her car seat and then walked into the house ahead of him, alongside Blythe. While Blythe headed for the kitchen, Cuddy took the hallway, laying Evie down in her crib after carefully and slowly unzipping and removing her jacket. House was on the stairs with Rachel when she slipped out of Evie's room and Cuddy followed him upstairs, watching from the doorway as he lowered Rachel down on her bed, removed her shoes, and undid her jacket, though he left it on her so as to not wake her up.

He glanced up from where he sat on the edge of the bed when Cuddy moved towards him, coming up alongside him and placing her hand on his upper back as she reached down to brush Rachel's hair from her face. "We should take the girls to the park more often," she murmured softly, her eyes on her sleeping daughter. "Rachel had a really good time."

House nodded his agreement, waiting for her to drop her hand and move away before getting to his feet and heading for the door behind her. He pulled the door closed most of the way behind him before saying, "My mom's going to make dinner for tonight but I was thinking I could make soup and sandwiches for lunch."

"Do you want some help?" she asked.

"No, I've got it," he responded. "You think Rachel will be asleep for an hour or so?"

Cuddy nodded.

"Okay," House replied before heading down the stairs, pausing long enough to close the gate at the top when Cuddy headed in the direction of her bedroom instead of following him immediately.

Cuddy slipped into her room, falling back on her bed with a sigh. She just needed a twenty minute catnap to refresh herself with. Then she'd go downstairs and see what she could do to help either Blythe or House.

* * *

Blythe worked to prepare her meatloaf so that all she'd have to do later that night with it was pop it in the oven, freeing her to conquer the rest of dinner later that afternoon. Meanwhile House busied himself cutting up carrots, some celery, onions, and several other vegetables to make some homemade vegetable soup.

"Where's Lisa?" Blythe asked a few minutes later, looking his way.

"Upstairs," he replied. "Either working on her computer or lying down, I don't know."

Blythe nodded, wondering if now was the best opportunity she was going to get to talk to him about something she'd determined to share the night before while in bed at the hotel. She'd been thinking about it last night until she finally drifted off into sleep, but it had been a long three hours before that had happened. She washed her hands off and then dried them on a towel before stilling their nervous shaking by placing them flat on the countertop, studying them when she finally spoke. "When you were conceived, your father was overseas," she began, her voice soft.

"Mom, you don't need to tell me this," House gruffly interrupted.

"Yes, I do," she replied calmly. "Please… please listen."

House set the knife down, waiting for her to continue even if he wasn't sure he _wanted _to know what had happened. He _knew _who the other man had been. He _knew _his biological father. He'd been in House's life off and on throughout his childhood. House was even positive that both his biological father and John, the man who had raised him, were aware whose offspring he'd really been.

"John was away," she repeated. "And one night, well after dark, I was on my way back to the apartment I was living in at the time while John was overseas when out of nowhere a hand clamped down on my mouth and I was being dragged into an alleyway."

House looked up at her in alarm, now terrified of hearing what she was about to say, because even if he was right about who his biological father was, _this _would not be what he wanted to hear. His mind flashed back to the girl in the clinic who had been raped and then found herself pregnant, the only patient he'd really ever told a bit of his actual history to in terms of what he'd gone through as a child. He _couldn't_ hear this. He _didn't _want to have to deal with the idea of being a rape baby on top of everything else. "Mom," he groaned out, jarring her out of her memories from that night.

Blythe met his gaze and realized what he was thinking. "No, just wait. That's not what happened. Let me continue," she rushed to say. "I… thought that was _it_ for me. I was going to be raped or murdered or both. I was being dragged into the alley and I wasn't strong enough to fight my attacker off. I tried to scratch at him as best as I could but he was bigger and of course, much stronger than me. I did finally manage to bite him and the bite was bad enough to draw blood and get him to tear his hand away from my mouth long enough to scream, but his other hand came up and cut off my windpipe. I really did think my life was over," Blythe murmured, her eyes tightly closed as she saw that night as if it was yesterday.

House stared at her, frozen, not knowing what to do or how to respond to this.

"Your… dad had a friend who lived not too far away. John had asked him to keep an eye on me while he was overseas and so he… used to come around a couple times a week to see if I needed anything. He was in the neighborhood that night and heard my scream. He didn't know it was me but he too was in the Marine Corps and he immediately came running to check out what was going on. When he came… when he realized what was going on… he tore the man off me. And then he recognized me just as the man got to his feet and took off running. He was going to chase after him, but… I was terrified at this point and I latched onto him, clinging to him. He tried to convince me I was safe now and to talk me into letting him run after the man so that he couldn't do this again and would be put in jail as he deserved to be, but I was sobbing and clutching at him, certain that if he went after him, the man would double back and kill me for sure. So he picked me up and carried me home, checking me over once we got inside my apartment to make sure I hadn't been injured. I was crying too hard to explain exactly what had happened but he had a pretty good idea of what had been _about_ to happen to me, had he not come along when he did. I had some bruising from where my attacker had pressed down on my windpipe, but other than a few scrapes and bruises, nothing was physically wrong with me. It was emotionally and psychologically that I'd been most affected. He called the police so that they could take a statement from me. But when they left, I refused to allow him to leave me," Blythe said, looking away.

"He took advantage of you," House muttered in disgust, appalled to have been conceived that way, even if it wasn't rape.

Blythe's eyes flew back to his. "No. He _didn't_. Just wait. Hear me out. I haven't told this to anyone before and I _want _you to not only hear me but _understand_ what I'm trying to tell you."

House slowly nodded, exhaling through his nose, opting to go back to his soup preparations to give him something to do instead of just standing there, watching her.

Blythe moistened her lips and admitted, "We'd… gone on a few dates before John ever entered my life. He introduced me to John shortly before _he _was sent overseas. While there had been a mutual attraction between the two of us, it had _only _been a few dates and… it wasn't enough to make me warrant waiting around for him to return or anything. John… well, there was something about him, something rugged and dangerous and _thrilling_ and… we started dating. Then I… fell in love with him and we were married. By that time his friend was back and the three of us, along with a girl that he was seeing, often spent time together. He was even a groomsman in the wedding. I… I was so blindly taken with John that I didn't realize that… that Henry was in love with me."

Realizing that she'd said his name, she looked at House in alarm but he just shrugged. "I knew who he was mom," he mumbled with a shrug.

Blythe stared at him, wide-eyed. "You _knew?!"_ she echoed disbelievingly.

"We have the same birthmark," he responded simply.

Blythe released a ragged breath and wiped away some tears that were falling from her eyes. "Why didn't you…?" she began.

"What was I going to say?" he interrupted to ask. "He _chose _not to be my father. He either thought you were sleeping around with other men too so there was a chance I wasn't his or he allowed himself to be deceived. There was no way John was my biological father. If I know that, I can't believe he didn't. Plus, there's the birthmark."

Blythe felt a headache coming on. "Do you have some aspirin?" she asked, massaging her temples.

House nodded and set the knife down, heading for his bedroom and returning a minute later with two pills. He watched her pour herself a glass of water and then take them before she turned back to him. "First of all, I _wasn't _sleeping around. I _never _slept around," she stated, meeting his gaze somewhat defensively and in disgust at what she considered a crass term. "And secondly, I'm not done with the story."

House raised an eyebrow at her tone but didn't say anything, going back to his chopping board.

Blythe cleared her throat and then picked back up where she'd left off. "After the police left that night and I refused to let him go, he tried to convince me to allow him to call someone to stay with me for a few days. But you have to understand, by this time I'd known Henry for several years and he was _my_ friend _just as much as_ he was John's. I didn't _want _anyone else. If John couldn't be there for me, I _wanted _Henry. And I… I had finally come to the realization that he had feelings for me due to something John had said and my own observations. He dated various girls but never beyond a few dates and was never serious about _any _of them. It wasn't long before I started to question why that was when none of his excuses for ending things with them made any logical sense to me. He'd dissect the _smallest_ possible flaw, _bypassing _the _larger ones_, and he'd use _that_ as his excuse for moving on. I thought our relationship was… that of friends or… of siblings, but the look he'd sometimes get in his eye made me doubt myself and the conclusions I had come to. John was never a tender, affectionate man but Henry by nature _was_. And I appreciated that about him. He _never _made any sort of move on me, but… I don't think it was because he didn't _want _to. He just… he was one of John's closest friends and had known him a long time. Even if he had thought I'd been interested, and I _wasn't_,Henry respected John."

"He had sex with you," House quietly replied, his gut in an indefinable turmoil. Turning, he walked to the pantry and returned a moment later with a pot, filling it partway with water and then heating it on the stove. "He obviously breached that respect at some point."

Blythe sighed heavily but then murmured, "He stayed with me until I fell asleep and then went out and slept on the couch. I… I woke up screaming from a nightmare where I _was_ being raped and the attacker hadn't been chased away. Henry raced into the bedroom and held me in his arms, stroking my hair and back until I calmed down. But if anyone took advantage Greg, it was _me._ I _knew _how he felt for me and I… I wanted to _forget _for a moment what had just happened. John wasn't there but Henry _was._ And I loved him, in my own way, beyond what I even knew, and there _had _been a certain… oh, I don't know… a _chemistry_ between us from day one, but it had never been explored. Not until that night. _I _was the one who kissed _him. _And even then he stopped me. But I… well, honey you might not be aware of this but… sometimes your mother doesn't give up until she gets her way and… that night I didn't give up. _I _exploited _him._ He may have been a willing participant, even against his better judgment and mainly because he _did _love me and want to give me what I needed in that moment, but it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't thrown myself at him repeatedly. He… even tried to walk away but every time he headed for the door, I just _fell apart_ all over again. It… it only happened that one night. The _guilt…_ was overwhelming and almost unbearable. And the truth was I felt dirty because afterwards there were times when I… wanted it to happen again. He didn't avoid me. I think he wanted to. But he couldn't seem to force himself to. He needed to know that I was okay. He helped me move to a new apartment in a safer area of town. And when he found out I was pregnant, I think he did know. But he never mentioned it to me. I think… I think he told John what had happened. Because at one point, just after John had come back stateside, I happened upon Henry in town and he looked like he'd been hit by a truck. I was too terrified to ask what had happened to him. Then later on that night, John came home drunk and in a terrible mood. But I… I was too scared of losing John to bring it up and… I poured everything I had into showing John how committed I was to being with him and yes, I lied to all of us, _including myself_ about the fact that he wasn't really your father. And I… I lied last night when I said I moved from base to base with your father because of you. That was part of it but… I did it because of the way your father would sometimes look at me, the distrust in his eyes, and… because I couldn't stand to be around Henry regularly and… see how much he'd been affected by that one night that… meant much more to him than it had to me. Perhaps we were both haunted by it and I had wanted it to happen again but… he couldn't seem to get past it. I thought he'd find someone else eventually and move on but… he never did. He just… didn't appear to feel capable of doing that. Then, sometimes he'd look at you and… I'd swear there was so much longing in his eyes and internally I knew I'd deprived him of something great that… he was willing to sacrifice because he believed that it was better for me, better for John, and… better for you. But… maybe it _wasn't._ Maybe it _wasn't_ better for you and maybe I… I _condemned Henry _to suffer the consequences of giving me my way that one night for the rest of his life."

House set down the ladle he'd been using to stir the broth he'd made after adding the vegetables, covered the pot with a lid, and turned to his mother, gathering her into his arms because she was now at the point of sobbing. "There are some things about you Greg that are very much like John, but then there are others that cause me to ache because they are so much like Henry. I loved _both_ men to an extent and _betrayed_ both of them at one point or another," she cried into his chest, her words such a jumble that he had a hard time understanding her even as he fought to keep his own emotions under wraps.

"Shh, shh," he hushed her, trying to calm her down even as he himself grew more and more tense. He wasn't sure he wanted to know how he was like _either_ man. Furthermore, it was a rare thing to see his mother cry and even rarer to have it reach this extent without being suppressed. He desperately needed to get away, to think, to breathe, but he couldn't just walk away from his mother now.

He looked up at a sound from the dining room and met Cuddy's bewildered eyes as she stared at the two of them, thoroughly confused. Her eyes met his as she bit her lip in indecision and he looked away because he didn't himself know what to do, though he knew he didn't want Cuddy to become aware of what was going on and his whole life story, right down to conception. He just… this was too personal and he couldn't deal with the idea of her finding out anything more than she already knew. He needed Wilson. Or Erika. (Not Cameron. Not for this. She'd be too sensitive and emotional.) He needed someone he knew he could talk to and confide in but who wouldn't smother him with coddling. Even Nolan would be useful right now. But it was the weekend so that one was out. This didn't classify as an emergency and… either Wilson or Erika would be around, of that he was certain. And yet he couldn't escape because he couldn't really leave his mother like this when she'd just admitted some sort of defining moment in her life and she'd confessed to having never told another person before. Plus he was in the midst of making lunch. House glanced back towards where Cuddy had been but she was no longer standing there so he figured he was in the clear on that account.

Blythe finally managed to pull herself together and released her grip on him, wiping at her tears. "You must think so little of me right now," she tearfully mumbled, her mouth trembling as she focused somewhere over his shoulder, unable to meet his eyes.

House looked down upon her, pained beyond belief. "No mom," he managed to say, drawing in a deep breath as he searched for something halfway _appropriate _to respond to her statement with. "I don't. I… need some time to work through this and… figure out what this means for me but… it doesn't _change_ all that much. It just… gives me greater insight into… who you are and what happened back then. You're my mom. You'll always be my mom. So part of your life _sucked_ too. You were still always there when I needed you and… you loved me. That has to count for something," he wryly concluded with a small shrug, unable to smile but doing his best to not kick her when she was down.

Blythe managed a small laugh and then reached forward and awkwardly patted his chest before saying, "I'm going to go freshen up I think. Then I'll be back to finish this and put it in the fridge for later."

House nodded, turning to lift the lid and stir the soup briefly before returning the lid to the pot. He waited until he heard the main bathroom door close before turning and propping his elbows up on the counter behind him, dropping his head into his hands and exhaling sharply, groaning and trying hard not to curse. This weekend was turning into a much more tumultuous affair than he'd anticipated. His stress level was back up to where it had been the night before in trying to manage his mother's interactions with Cuddy.

"Are you okay?" Cuddy murmured, having entered the room unbeknownst to him after Blythe had left.

He straightened but he didn't look her way. "Yeah," he muttered gruffly. "I'm fine."

"Can I ask…?" she began.

"No," he mumbled, shaking his head. "It's nothing."

Cuddy was _very _tempted to say it didn't _look_ like nothing to her but she bit her tongue, deciding it was best that she respect his wishes, even when she _hated _respecting them because everything inside her cried to _do something._ She nodded, despite the fact that he was not looking in her direction. "How about I help with sandwiches," she suggested gently. "The girls will be up soon. If you don't mind me helping, I'd love to do so."

House nodded, swallowing hard as he refocused on what he'd been doing. He grabbed out the salt and pepper so that he could add some to the pot and then removed bowls and plates from the cabinet, carrying them over to the dining room table.

Blythe entered the kitchen a moment later and House met her eyes, quickly checking on her, before she looked away to say hi to Cuddy. Cuddy had already pulled out a loaf of French bread from the fridge and was in the midst of slicing it. She glanced at House as he set the table but then studied Blythe a moment while she worked to wrap up the meatloaf she was finishing up, wrapping it and placing it in the fridge a minute later. Her eyes were red, the only lingering sign that she'd been crying, her face otherwise well-masked in such a way that it didn't reflect one way or another how only five or ten minutes ago she'd been clearly upset, and House as well, if his expression when Cuddy walked in had born any testament to how he was reacting to whatever had taken place. She kept silent though something inside her longed to go wrap her arms around House and hold him tight for a moment. Blythe and House also remained mute, Blythe moving to set the table with napkins and silverware while House checked on the soup again.

"Moooommy!" they all heard Rachel call from the top of the stairs. "Daaaaaddy!"

House glanced Cuddy's way and shook his head, a smile curving his lips momentarily. Seeing she was in the midst of adding cheese to the sandwiches she'd cut, House said, "I'll get her."

Cuddy nodded, watching him leave the room.

House returned a couple minutes later with Rachel upside down in his arms, giggling. "Hi mommy," she greeted cheerfully, all sleepiness gone.

"Hi baby," Cuddy replied, her mouth quirking as she glanced from House to Rachel, heading towards them to bend down enough to press a kiss to Rachel's upside down head.

"She's going to get a head-rush if you keep her like that much longer," she then murmured to House, her smile indulgent and her gaze one of affection as she rose back up to her full height, which, without her heels especially, still left her significantly shorter than him.

House flipped Rachel forward and set her on her feet, watching as she then ran to Monster's side, waking the puppy up from the nap he'd been in the middle of. Cuddy's smile remained as she turned her head to watch Rachel a moment before ultimately heading back to finish lunch preparations.

House went to the stove and sampled the soup, making sure the vegetables were done before turning it off.

"Come on Rachel. Let's take Monster outside," House declared, thinking some air would do him good. "He hasn't been out in a while."

Rachel latched onto House's hand and swung it as she looked back over her shoulder. "Come on Cookie," she called, delighted when he raced after her and then ran around House's feet, almost causing him to trip in the process.

House shook his head as he came to a stop, waiting for the dog to settle down before continuing towards the backdoor. Five minutes later they were back in, just as Evie's cries were heard.

Cuddy looked at the table, now set with sandwiches in each spot, Blythe in the process of filling bowls with soup. "Perfect timing," she murmured.

"Rachel, go take a seat at the table. I have to go get your sister," House instructed, then detouring via the hallway to go get Evie.

Cuddy helped Rachel up into her booster seat, scooting her chair up to the table.

Blythe looked at Cuddy and then couldn't contain her curiosity any longer, "You're really okay with him being so involved?"

She turned to meet her gaze, surprised at the question. "Why wouldn't I be?" Cuddy inquired, her head tilting slightly to the side.

"Well, it's not exactly _normal_," Blythe remarked, her stress on the last word though it wasn't spoken derogatorily but simply as something quite atypical and a mystery to puzzle oneself over.

Cuddy didn't really follow. "What do you mean?" she asked hesitantly.

"Greg's just very involved for a father. He's always holding one of the girls, taking care of them, playing with them. He does things that I would consider to be _your _responsibility as their mother," Blythe responded matter-of-factly.

Cuddy took offense. She was a modern woman and didn't believe that_ just because_ someone was a mother all responsibility for childcare therefore fell to them, even if she _had _taken it upon herself in adopting Rachel as a single parent to be the sole person "responsible" for her. For most of the modern world and certainly to Cuddy's thinking, _not_ being a woman didn't automatically give the father clemency from any responsibility that came along with parenthood. That was just absurd in this day and age! And while maybe House didn't have any responsibility to take care of Rachel, he certainly had no excuse when it came to Evie. Besides that, House genuinely wanted to be the daddy he was. Cuddy really believed that. He wasn't doing it because he felt forced to. So why in the world would his involvement _bother _her?!

Her shoulders straightened as she stood up, tossing her hair back over her shoulder, her eyes burning with the fire that often stirred up within her when she felt passionate about something. "Nowadays people are both responsible for their offspring," she began. "I don't mean financially or physically but in all realms. I don't see why House shouldn't change diapers or feed bottles or _heaven forbid_, entertain the girls. He's their dad. I _want _them to have a close relationship with them. _My dad_ was always involved in my life. He changed diapers and fed me and burped me and bathed me. And he _certainly_ played with me. It wasn't detrimental. It strengthened our bonds and allowed both my sister and I to grow up to be strong, confident women. Not ones without issues, but women who don't just simper or whine or say, 'yes dear,' dependent upon a man to take care of us. I want my girls to be strong and independent too. I want them to have a dad like I did. So of course I'm okay with it. I'd be sad if House _didn't _want to be involved as he is. That to me would be a great tragedy. Because he _loves _the girls and he's _great _with them. He's… well, even when I was at my lowest following Evie's birth, it was House who came to take care of both Rachel and me until my mother was able to come stay for a time. And even before that House was there for Rachel when I couldn't be. He's _chosen _fatherhood where Rachel's concerned and that… that makes me…. _so ecstatic _I can hardly take it. Not to mention how Rachel's chosen him to be her daddy and loves and adores him the way a little girl should. House is… he's her _hero _in some respects. And I _love _that! I _love _witnessing their relationship grow and strengthen with every day that passes. _AND _he… he's done a _terrific _job with Evie all this time. He hasn't _needed _me to be a part of this, though he's _allowing _me to be and he's _supportive._ I'm _trying _to be the best mother I can to both my girls and I don't think by _'letting' _him have the role he does," she adamantly declared with air quotes before her frustration inflated fully, "I'm _less _of a mother for it! Am I failing _that miserably in your eyes?_"

Blythe had been staring over Cuddy's shoulder for quite some time and it only now dawned on her that House was undoubtedly standing behind her and had probably heard her passionate diatribe that had flowed out and disclosed much more than she'd actually intended to, unable to not be reactionary under the attack that she'd felt herself under.

She slowly turned around, meeting his gaze and internally sighing in relief to find him with an eyebrow raised and his mouth quirked in amusement, Evie staring at Cuddy from his arms. "You're doing fine as a mother," he dryly commented before muttering, "Now can we stop discussing my parenting skills and eat?"

Cuddy glanced at Blythe and her irritation returned. Like a little kid placing blame on the other person, she pointed her finger at Blythe and declared, "Well House, she started this by…"

House laughed in disbelief, realizing how much his mother had gotten under Cuddy's skin with whatever she'd said to begin this fiasco, which House could take a stab at guessing due to what his mother had said this morning and what he'd overheard from the bedroom as Cuddy's voice rose higher and higher in volume and frequency. "Cuddy," he grunted, not giving her time to pick back up with where she'd left off when he'd laughed and caught her off guard. "Chill. Whatever she said, I don't think it was meant to be critical of you. She's just battling 70 years of stereotypes in her mind while trying to rationalize how my being so involved with the girls could be a good thing. It's not worth getting so worked up about. And mom, _honestly,_ can't I leave you two in the same room without having to concern myself with …"

"_I _was behaving _quite dignified_," Blythe interrupted to say. "It was Lisa who…"

Cuddy started to sputter, needing the last word as was her habit, and House rolled his eyes at the both of them before whistling sharply to draw this to a close before they broke out in fisticuffs.

Turning to the kid who _could_ talk, he loudly asked, "Rachel, are you hungry? Because daddy is _SO _hungry and he would like to eat now. And with a little peace and quiet."

Rachel looked at him and giggled at the expression of hopefulness on his face as the two women in the room both stared at him, one still breathing erratically, somewhat desirous of a good screaming match, and the other slightly mollified and raised in a generation where getting food on the table for hungry menfolk was considered to take precedence over "trivial" discussions.

"Me have cookie after lunch?" Rachel asked as if she was already practicing the talented art of negotiating.

House chuckled under his breath. "Uh, even at this age they're infected with the disease of womanhood, working the angles to get what they want from a guy," he quipped under his breath in a further attempt to defuse the tension hanging in the air which you could yet cut with a knife.

Cuddy reached out and swatted his arm without thinking, her mouth firming. "_Negotiating _is something _both _men _and _women practice," she defensively declared.

"Geesh woman," House automatically grunted, rubbing his arm. "I said _chill._"

Cuddy exhaled through her nose but headed for the table, sitting down beside Rachel. "Yes, Rachel," she murmured quietly, pulling herself together. "After you eat your lunch, you _may _have a cookie."

House shook his head but placed Evie in her high chair, motioning for his mother to take the far chair so that she was sitting next to him but away from Cuddy, before he reached for his sandwich and took the biggest bite he could possibly take, his mother tsk-tsking him while Cuddy's mouth twitched with a small smile at his juvenile act before she sampled her soup.

* * *

The rest of the day actually passed without incident. While Cuddy _remained _somewhat touchy all day following the interaction with his mother and was suddenly offering without fail to feed or change Evie every time House moved to do so, _despite _her argument for House being equally responsible for those tasks, he felt genuinely grateful to not have conversation turn to _anyone's_ parenting abilities, nor to _either _of his fathers. Blythe spent a lot of time with Evie and played with Rachel and her dolls, even hosting a pretend tea party for the little girl and a couple of her stuffed animals while she was at it, making House cringe when he was invited by Rachel to join them, though he quickly rescinded the invitation. Cuddy ended up on the phone with her mother in the afternoon for quite some time while House played piano since he had some free time on his hands. The girls swapped hands when Blythe went to work on dinner, House and Cuddy both playing with them in the living room and then following dinner his mother successfully convinced Rachel to join Evie in sitting in her lap while she read stories to the two of them, though Evie was more preoccupied with the toy she had clenched in her fist and which was already half-drenched in drool by the time Blythe was finishing the third book.

When it came time for bed, Cuddy got up and with her head held high, clearly still a little defensive of the fact that she _was _the girls' mother, went into the kitchen to prepare Evie's bottle before returning to pass it to House.

"Rachel, it's time for bed now," Cuddy told her, turning to her and picking her up once she was on her feet. "Say goodnight."

"Night," Rachel declared with a wide toothy smile, waving her little hand in the air.

House chuckled. "Night kid," he replied, picking Evie up to give her the bottle Cuddy had made for her.

But when Cuddy went to move away, Rachel protested. "No! Kisses first!"

Cuddy paused and then smiled, laughing softly as she turned around to look at House. He pretended to be annoyed and begrudgingly walked in their direction but then he leaned forward as if he was going to kiss Rachel as requested, only to turn his head at the last second and scratch her neck with his scruff as he growled at her playfully, attempting to blow raspberries against her skin. Rachel squealed and squirmed in Cuddy's arms to the extent that House's chin met up with the exposed skin at the top of Cuddy's shirt, giving her a taste of whisker burn and leaving her gasping at the unexpected sensation. She was almost certain for the slightest moment his bottom lip had also grazed her. He was too busy trying to work his nose into Rachel's neck to realize what he'd done but Cuddy was only too aware of it and how very close his face was to another encounter with her skin, if Rachel would only dart her head to the side again. She was disappointed when he backed away before that much desired contact could repeat itself, smiling at Rachel goofily.

"_You_ silly, daddy," Rachel giggled.

Cuddy freed a hand now that she didn't have to worry about dropping Rachel to absentmindedly touch the spot he'd made contact with just as House glanced up and noticed the red mark there.

"Sorry," he said without thinking, his smile melting away in surprise that he'd gotten close enough to Cuddy to do that to her.

"No, it's okay," she murmured before she could stop herself, her voice coming out like a caress.

House met her eyes then in uncertainty and she bit her lip before licking over it as her fingers continued to trace over the spot at the base of her throat, her eyes moving over his face, her lids drifting south in the process. He took a step back, his eyes dropping away from her in discomfort, and she unconsciously followed him with a step forward until Rachel moved in her arms and she shook herself out of the stupor she'd fallen into. She glanced at Blythe who was studying her intently before dropping her gaze and turning around to take Rachel upstairs.

When she set Rachel down in her room so that she could pull out a pair of pajamas from her top drawer, now once more at capacity after all the laundry Gerta had probably had to do that morning, Cuddy brought her hand up, rubbing it over her face with a deep sigh. This weekend was… unlike any other, she admitted to herself, her eyes closing as her head momentarily fell back on her neck. And each day… she just fell all the harder for him. She was acting like a hormonal teenager, the only thing missing being the blush that should have heated her cheeks after the appraising look Blythe had given her. Helping Rachel into her pajamas a moment later, Cuddy sighed, shaking her head. Living with House but not _being_ with him would surely be her undoing.

* * *

Blythe waited until she was certain Lisa and Rachel were upstairs before turning to suspiciously stare at her son. He glanced up at her after feeling her eyes on him from where he sat giving Evie her bottle. Raising one eyebrow quizzically, he waited for her to say something.

"What _did _happen between you and Lisa?" she asked pointedly.

"Mom, you _can't_ be serious," House huffed out. It was the _last _thing he wanted to talk about.

"I'd like to know," she replied evenly. "I'm only here until tomorrow. I can't _fix this _for you if you don't _tell _me."

House scoffed in frustration, shaking his head. "Mom, there's nothing for you to fix. There's nothing between Cuddy and I. _Nothing._"

"There's the daughter you share," Blythe calmly argued for starters. "And apparently Rachel too, as you, Lisa, _and _Rachel have testified to, this weekend in one way or another. That's _something _between you."

"Like _I_ was something between you and _Henry_?" House moodily threw back at her, his defense suddenly rising as he tried to deter her from pursuing this rabbit trail. "Because clearly having a kid together means you're somehow _bonded_ for life. Oh, but you opted to stay with John. And now you're dating someone named David. Not a Henry. I forgot."

Blythe's eyes widened and her lips firmed.

House exhaled a breath, not knowing where that outburst had come from, and muttered, "Just let it go, mom."

"You think I should be with Henry now that your father has died?" Blythe whispered, her hands going to her knees and clasping upon them to hide how they trembled. "You… saw him at your father's funeral and you think that…"

"I don't think anything because I don't know what I think," he grumbled. "I haven't had _time _to process any of this. I just… You _can't_ have a double standard! You can't _tell me _that I should be _with_ Cuddy because she's the mother of my kids. It's not a good enough reason. It wasn't for you and it isn't for me."

"That's not why I think you should fix this situation between the both of you," she sternly corrected, giving him a reproving glance while bypassing the personal reference. "I think you should work to fix it because… whatever happened, maybe it's worth fixing. Why shouldn't it be?"

"There _is _no fixing it, okay?" House cut her off to say. "It's over and done with."

"She loves you," Blythe replied, her voice softening. "I can see it in the way she looks at you. I can hear it in the way she talks about you. I can witness it in the way she responds to you. I can…"

"She _doesn't_, mom! She might think so right now but she _doesn't_! She did to me what you did to Henry. And what happened to Henry is what will happen to me. With the _exception _of the fact that no one else will be raising these two little girls in my stead. Because I _REFUSE _to let that happen. And that's _all _I care about!" House declared angrily as he got to his feet, trying to calm Evie down as she started to cry in his arms. He really was _clueless _as to how these thoughts were hitting him from nowhere and leaving his mouth before he even had time to contemplate them, but they were gushing out _that_ easily. He'd thought he was doing well at _not _thinking about this crap, intending to wait until his mother left and he was holed up in his bedroom, but obviously, that wasn't the case.

Blythe would have gotten to her feet if she thought she could actually stand after having him say what he just had. Unable to deal with the statements he had thrown at her, she nevertheless drew strength from deep inside her to ask somewhat tremulously, "So then you love her?"

She was _never _going to let this go! Fine, she wanted to hear the truth, he would give her the truth! "Yes," he bitterly declared, shaking his head as his eyes narrowed spitefully. "Yes, I _love _her! And she knows it so you can drop it now! I love her! Lot of good it _ever_ did me!"

"So _tell_ her that," Blythe murmured. "_Tell her again!_"

"She doesn't need to hear it! It changes _nothing!_" House hotly intoned, finally managing to get the bottle back in Evie's mouth, though Evie didn't drink it but just allowed it into her mouth, watching her daddy.

"It might change _everything!_" Blythe countered, now getting to her feet.

Just then they both turned and saw Cuddy standing in the entryway, staring at House. He groaned and then exhaled loudly in frustration before looking away. But Blythe headed for the foyer, murmuring, "I'll see you both in the morning," as she made her retreat.

House shook his head and not knowing what else to do, walked past Cuddy after hearing the front door close to head into the kitchen and pour himself a glass of water. He didn't want to think about what she'd heard or what she was thinking or how she'd interpreted _anything._ He was an _idiot _for losing his temper with his mother tonight of all nights! Especially with Cuddy close by. Rubbing a hand over his face, he then filled a glass under the faucet and guzzled it down.

Cuddy followed him after a moment, not knowing what to think or do or say. She bit her lip, staring at his back. She had shut Rachel's door except for a thin crack and then had gone in her room to use the facilities before returning downstairs after hearing raised voices in time to hear Blythe ask House, "_So then you love her?"_ For a second there, the question was too ambiguous for her to think anything of it. At least, it _had _been until she'd heard House's harsh reply. She'd only vaguely registered the rest of the conversation, her feet having come to a stop just outside the living room upon hearing him declare, "_Lot of good it ever did me!_"

Cuddy didn't know how to respond because she knew the "_her_" was well, _her_, especially when House had just walked right past her without establishing any eye contact at all. She slowly closed the distance between them, though with great hesitation. Suddenly she was thirsty to hear the words leave his mouth. She _wanted to hear them_ and then she wanted to _reply _to them_._

"Say it," Cuddy murmured softly, unable to avoid asking him for this.

House looked away, shaking his head. He knew exactly what she wanted to hear but the time for saying it was long past. And if she didn't get that this was the _wrong time_, she was just as insane as he was.

She worried her lip between her teeth for a moment but then reached out a hand, wrapping her fingers around his bicep, trying to encourage him to turn around with her touch so that she could face him properly and look into his eyes. "Say it, House," she repeated, her eyes searching for his despite his refusal to look at her. "Say it _to me_."

"I'm not going to say it, Cuddy," he gruffly stated, his eyes locking on Evie's where she lay in the crook of his arm, his other arm carefully locking around her weight to secure her better once he'd set his glass down.

"Please," Cuddy whispered beseechingly.

"You _know _it's true. You've heard it before. That's going to have to be enough and there's no reason for it to matter anyway," House replied evenly, a hand coming up to calmly, but firmly, remove her fingers from his arm before stepping back and turning to discard the dregs of Evie's bottle in the sink so he could put her to bed for the night.

Cuddy sighed glumly but turned to follow his movement to the sink, taking the few steps necessary to close the gap he'd put between them in stepping away before pressing her face into his back between his shoulder blades and leaning into him as she took a deep breath, breathing him in, her eyes closing briefly.

"Don't do this, Cuddy," he muttered, holding his breath as he waited for her to move away from him and restore his space and safety zone to him.

"I love…" she began.

But House interrupted, his voice harsh as he roughly exhaled, "_Don't_ say it! I don't _want_ to hear it!"

"Too bad," she shot back as her head came up, suddenly angry. "Because I'm going to tell you anyway!"

Even Cuddy was caught by surprise in her adamancy and the touch of fury lacing her words. Her eyes widened as House stiffened and Evie immediately began to cry. I'm screwing this up, she thought in a panic, over and over again.

When she had herself under control, she took a step back, lifting her head a little higher before gently placing her trembling hands on House's shoulders and smoothing his t-shirt out as her hands slid down to his arms, attempting to soothe away whatever he was feeling due to how she was cornering him. But his tension did not ease in the least as his muscles bunched under her hands while he tried to calm the baby before rinsing out Evie's bottle, his mouth pressed in a firm line.

Moistening her lips, she murmured, "I'm sorry. I just… I think maybe you need to hear me say it. Maybe it will… help. I don't know."

House forcefully jarred the empty bottle against the counter before setting it down, his hands then gripping onto the countertop as his eyes focused on a spot on the wall in front of him. He didn't _want_ to hear this. He didn't _want _to _feel _any response, whether positive or negative, to what he knew she'd say. He didn't _want _to have it mean anything but perhaps what was worse, he knew it _wouldn't _strike him as what deep down inside he might possibly hope it would, simply because he _couldn't _believe her. But Cuddy was clearly not about to leave him be until she'd spoken her mind.

Breathing through his nose, he gritted his teeth before biting out, "It won't help. It won't change anything. But get it over with then. Since you aren't going to _leave me alone_ until you do it; then do it. Say it."

Cuddy froze at the icy tone to his words, unable to see his white fingers and how they clutched the counter's edge, preparing himself for whatever pain her words might lash at him despite how she might mean them to be taken. This was all wrong. This _wasn't _the way she'd meant to do this when she'd thought about voicing her feelings to him. This was reactionary to what she'd overheard and the day she'd had and the desperation with which she wanted to win his heart. She… she was forcing her feelings upon him, _not _for House's sake but… for her own, because… _she _needed him to know, needed him to hear, needed him to _accept_ her love. Releasing a ragged breath, she accepted the fact that pushing him into a corner to hear her announce she loved him was the _last _thing she should have done.

As her eyes filled with tears, she nodded her acceptance that this _wouldn't _help them at all to find one another before dropping her hands to her sides, sniffing before turning and leaving the room without saying anything at all.

House felt… so many things that he didn't even know which one to begin with as he heard her walk away, leaving the room without saying _anything_. He was angry, frustrated, confused, and… strangely wounded, which went beyond his ability to comprehend really. She'd backed down without any explanation at all and… while he felt some relief in that, _mostly_, now he felt further angered. How was he supposed to figure _this_ one out?! Didn't he already have _enough _to deal with today?! And now the mind that he was clueless as to how to shut off had to go over and over _this?! _But it was unavoidable now. He had a new puzzle. And as much as he _hated _himself for being incapable of escaping the swirl of vicious ponderings, they filled his brain anyway, mocking him to pick whichever one fit best as a possible explanation. There were three plausible answers that immediately rose to mind. First, she was caving to the reality that he didn't want to hear what she wanted to say. He could deal with that, though… somehow it didn't make the knots in his belly relax at all as he would have expected it to as she'd already gone so much farther than he'd wished her to and beyond what could be taken back. Second, she was now angry with him for _not wanting _to hear her tell him how she felt about him. Well that would just succeed to further piss him off as this happening _wasn't his fault_. And then there was the third option for an explanation. In _almost _telling him, she'd had time to think it over and… _FINALLY _realized that how she thought she felt _wasn't _how she felt after all. And that was where the knife twisted in deeper, because he shouldn't want her to love him, shouldn't care in the slightest what she thought or how she felt, but the fact that the knife was twisting told him that unfortunately, he did. And he'd been _pleased _earlier in the day by all he'd heard her say to his mother. But now, now that rush of pleasure mocked at him. Because it had been followed by _this_ and the good feelings completely obliterated_. _House grimaced, releasing the counter to adjust Evie up onto his shoulder and securing her before he slammed his open hand down hard on the counter, just begging for the sting of pain to give him something else to distract him from the ache in his chest.

The noise made Evie fuss more and heading out of the kitchen with her a moment later, he decided the time to lay Evie down in her crib had come and gone. She was anxious, he could feel it in how she whined and tensed, responding to his emotional upheaval and the raised voices she'd really been exposed to for the first time tonight. Briefly he wondered if a baby could recognize her mother's voice while accompanied by a temper after being gone from the womb so long, considering the last time he and Cuddy had really gone at it with Evie around was back when she was yet pregnant. He doubted it. He hoped not anyway. Deciding he needed to get out of this house for a while, he opted to just go to who was closest. If Erika wasn't home, he was going to go track down Wilson. Since _that _didn't sound like a good idea, as now he wouldn't just be blowing off steam regarding his mother but what had taken place with Cuddy as well, he seriously _hoped_ Erika _would_ be home. Erika didn't have the baggage with Cuddy that Wilson somehow seemed to still carry. Walking to the front door, Evie in his arms and the bottle securely placed in her mouth, he opened the closet long enough to grab his keys from his jacket pocket, skipping his shoes, not wanting to take the time to put them on. No matter what he tried to do, this weekend, nothing seemed to want to go right. Everything was working against him and dragging him down. He was tired and battleworn. He hoped Erika could shed some light on the situation. _Before_ he tossed it all away.

-----_**  
"Gravity is working against me  
And gravity wants to bring me down**_

**_Oh I'll never know what makes this man  
With all the love that his heart can stand  
Dream of ways to throw it all away_**

**_Oh gravity is working against me  
And gravity wants to bring me down_**

**_Oh twice as much ain't twice as good  
And can't sustain like a one half could  
It's wanting more  
That's gonna send me to my knees_**

**_Oh twice as much ain't twice as good  
And can't sustain like a one half could  
It's wanting more  
That's gonna send me to my knees_**

**_Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me  
Oh and gravity has taken better men than me (now how can that be?)_**

**_Just keep me where the light is  
Just keep me where the light is  
Just keep me where the light is  
C'mon keep me where the light is  
C'mon keep me where the light is  
Oh... where the light is!"_**

* * *

Song: "Gravity" (John Mayer)


	83. Have You Ever

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

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_(Now THAT was the longest chapter of my life!! At least, it feels that way. Thanks to belladionne for the song suggestion!! I love it! OKAY, this is me making YOUR NIGHT!! Granted, some of you won't actually read this tonight (and for others of you, it's already morning anyway), but I have EVERY intention of posting THREE chapters before I go to bed. I just have to complete the next one and then go back over the next two and check for kinks and grammatical errors before posting! But I BETTER get reviews, people!! And I mean it! :))_

* * *

Erika opened her front door, a little surprised to see House standing there. She raised an eyebrow as he'd been quite the stranger ever since Lisa had moved in with the exception of their dinner nights and the rare occasion when she'd run into him outside, but she opened the door wider, immediately inviting him in.

"You busy?" he asked, his eyes stormy even if his tone was neutral.

"Not at all," she replied easily. "Trevor's got a friend over who's staying the night but they're upstairs playing."

"Wilson?" House inquired next.

Erika smiled. "He was here but he left about an hour ago to go home and work on a speech he's giving at… some special convention for oncologists in Washington D.C. in a few weeks," she answered.

"He sweating bullets yet?" House asked, a corner of his mouth rising into a half-smile, the most he could manage as a little tension began to trickle off him. Being here, this was better. Unlike the house next door, this one was relatively stress-free. He needed this. He needed to be able to breathe again.

She laughed but admitted, "He's on his way to reaching that point I think. From everything he's told me, his speech sounds terrific, so I don't know why he's so on edge over it, but he's definitely got a bad case of the nerves."

House nodded and stepped past her, entering her living room and collapsing with Evie on the couch.

Erika looked at his bare feet and teasingly asked, "Did the dog eat all your shoes _already_?"

"Just didn't feel like taking the time to put them on," he replied wearily, dropping his head against the back of the couch as he traced circles on Evie's back subconsciously, the baby calming quickly and sleepiness returning.

Erika watched him momentarily and then inquired, "Should I assume since you didn't head for the porch, you're more interested in a distraction than a conversation or that you want to mingle the two?"

House rubbed a hand over his face before turning his head to the side to meet her gaze, asking, "You have any Coke in your fridge?"

She nodded and turned, slipping out of the room, returning five minutes later with two cans of pop, a bag of chips, and a bowl of freshly popped popcorn.

"What do you want to watch?" Erika asked. "TV or a movie?"

"A movie," he replied, passing Evie to Erika once she'd set their snacks down on the table in front of them and extended her arms to take her.

"You pick," she directed, settling in on the couch with Evie then in the spot next to him, pressing a kiss to the baby's forehead before smoothing her hair and stroking her back.

She wasn't surprised when he got up and grabbed a movie they'd already watched together a few times, Troy. Something had told her at his hesitation to clarify what he was hoping for, a distraction or a conversation or both, that he did in fact want to talk, especially after he'd opted for a movie, even choosing one they'd both seen, instead of TV or something that at least one of them would need to pay attention to in order to understand. Not that they couldn't talk with the TV on, but it would prove a distraction and one or the other of them would lose their train of thought. The fact that he'd picked a movie they'd both seen multiple times told her he didn't care just how much of the action they missed while talking.

Erika smiled affectionately at him as he placed the movie in her DVD player and admitted, "I missed you this week."

House turned to look at her and gave her his first genuine smile of the evening. She fully expected a smart aleck remark but he surprised her by simply asking, "You did?"

She nodded, a bit confused to witness his honest reaction.

"How long was Trevor sick?" he asked suspiciously.

"He went back to school Thursday," she replied, wondering what his suspiciousness represented. "But I've been pretty much trapped in the house all week, except for when I've been able to go into work. It made me a little stir crazy. I was hoping to get outside today but Trev's friend came over, James too, and then my mind was occupied with other things. I kind of forgot all about it."

"Wilson didn't come by throughout the week to keep you company?" House queried as he sat back down on the couch next to her.

"He did," Erika responded, placing a sleeping Evie up on her shoulder and rubbing her back, ignoring the previews for movies that had been out quite a while now. "He was wonderful. He even brought dinner Tuesday and Wednesday night. But if I recall correctly, and it's been eight years now, when your kid is sick, it can be a lot like life with a newborn; stuck at home, no one to talk to, no adult conversation. You'll take all the adult interaction you can get. Anyway, maybe that's part of it but it's not really why I missed you. I'm just accustomed to seeing you more, and _at least_ once a week."

House gave her a lop-sided smile. "What's not to miss?" he smugly declared then, finally giving her a response more along the lines of what she'd originally expected.

She rolled her eyes but chuckled before asking, "So, your mom is in town, right? How's _that _going this time round?"

House huffed out a breath and then looked away, pursing his lips. Begrudgingly he muttered, "Do you think as a parent, I'm… not what I _should_ be?"

"I'm sorry?" Erika replied, her forehead knitting, not following him.

House gave her a look of exasperation at having to clarify when he didn't want to come right out and say it.

"Well I can't really answer that if I don't know where you are coming from or what you are asking me," she responded pointedly. "I can tell you that I think you are a _terrific _parent, that I've pretty much been here from day one of your parenting adventure and that I haven't seen anything yet to cause me to question your capabilities. Quite the opposite, really. Sometimes I think there isn't anything you _can't _do. Especially after witnessing how you, _honestly_, transformed my son's life just by knowing how to approach him when he was hurting and defensive and… building up walls I didn't have any experience with tearing down. And I also say that not simply as your friend and someone who loves you or as someone whose life has been effected because of how you unlocked doors and threw open windows for her son so that he might break free from some of the inner battles that were holding him back, but as someone who, having heard _enough _of your history via conversations with both you and James, knows enough to perceive that you've broken through a lot of your own hang-ups and heartaches to get this far and achieve as much as you have. BUT… I don't think that is what you are asking me."

House pursed his lips and took a deep breath, leaning forward and putting his hands together, his forearms resting on his legs. He stared at the planks of her wooden floor before forcing himself to put himself out there, almost unintelligibly mumbling, "My mom said today that I'm more her conception of a mother to the girls than a father."

Erika watched him with a blank expression and when she finally formulated a question, she asked, "What is _that _supposed to _mean?_"

"I should think it would be _obvious_," he replied disdainfully, glancing only briefly at her.

Erika stared at him, her forehead knitting in skepticism and bewilderment as she tried to think like him before she finally scoffed, causing House to reluctantly glance her way and try and determine what she was thinking.

"Wait!" she disbelievingly declared. "The fact that you are even asking me this, means that you _believe_ that might be true, _doesn't it?_"

House expelled a breath and rubbed a hand over his face before shaking his head, avoiding her gaze. "Just… just forget I said anything. It's bad enough that I told you and if you're not going to take me seriously then…"

Erika secured the sleeping baby against her chest before leaning towards him, placing her hand on his arm. "_House_," she murmured kindly, interrupting him. "I really, seriously, don't have the first clue what your mother was trying to imply or how you took what she said, but if you _think for ONE moment _that there's anything wrong with the way you are parenting your girls, or…" she paused, searching for the words she wanted before finally stating, "you are… I don't know, _effeminate in some way, shape, or form,_" and by the look House shot her, she knew she was hitting pretty close to home with that guess, "let me straighten you out _right now._ There is NOTHING wrong with you. Well, beyond what's wrong with you," she added teasingly, giving him a soft smile and a squeeze on the arm to lighten the mood before releasing him and growing serious again. "Ben and I… we didn't have a daughter and… I think it's normal that we relate differently with male offspring and female offspring. But Ben was a _great _father. He played with Trevor. He invested time in Trevor. He helped out with all the mundane and not so mundane tasks that are involved in taking care of children. I don't know. When you entered into being a parent, you were in a different position. You had no choice but to _do it all_. Lisa wasn't there to share the burden. So maybe I can't really compare you and Ben in the slightest but… I don't see that you are less of a father than he was. Nor do I think you are acting like the girls' mother. Though now I'm really curious how your mom distinguishes the two roles. Anyway… You're protective of them. Guess what? That's your job! As a parent; as a _father._ You feel responsible to do what's best for them. That is _also _just a commonality all parents share or _should share._ I'm not sure what you need to hear from me to believe what I'm saying is the truth, but… _What_ is your mother accusing you of exactly?! Did she… catch you and the girls in matching tutus, dancing around the house pretending you were all sugarplum fairies or something?!"

House gave her a look of disgust and she laughed in response. "Well, honestly!" she exclaimed. "What is it that _you _are worried about? I'm your friend House. I'm not going to share what you confide in me with _anyone_ without your expressed permission. So if you need to ask me something, ask it. It's what I'm here for. And you better believe I wouldn't hesitate to ask _you _something if it was bothering me!"

"She… feels I'm too involved," he replied dismissively. "She thinks I need to step down and Cuddy needs to step up."

"Do _you _feel you're too involved?" Erika inquired. "Do _you _think you need to step down and that Lisa needs to step up?"

House shook his head. "I'm good with the way things are," he muttered.

"Then that's what matters," Erika said with a shrug. "And House, as I'm sure you know, you can't please everybody. Nor should you. You can try and understand where they are coming from but you have no responsibility to live your life according to their expectations of you."

House nodded, releasing a pent up breath. There wasn't a whole lot she'd said that he didn't know, but somehow it helped to hear it from someone else.

"So," Erika said wryly with an eyebrow raised. "What _else _has your mother had to say this weekend?"

House gave her a look that clearly stated his mother had other opinions she'd just as freely shared and Erika laughed quietly, shaking her head. "_Please, do tell_," she invited before turning her body so she was semi-reclined against the cushions, propping her legs up across his lap.

House looked at her drolly. "Yeah, sure. _Make yourself comfortable._ _Use me as your pillow_."

"Thank you. I think I will," she replied smugly, adjusting her hold on Evie and resuming the way she'd previously been stroking the baby's back. "What does she think about Lisa and Rachel living with you or the fact that Lisa is back in Evie's life?"

"She's thrilled," House dryly replied. "She only has two complaints: that it didn't happen sooner and that Cuddy and I haven't committed the rest of our lives to a happily ever after preceded by riding off into the sunset together," he sarcastically quipped.

Erika smiled, her shoulders twitching with suppressed laughter. She didn't need to ask to know how he was feeling about that. They'd had enough conversations that she knew where he stood on the matter of Lisa Cuddy and from his dripping sarcasm, she knew that hadn't changed. "How's Lisa holding up? Has it been hard for her to have your mom in town?" she asked after a moment.

House tilted his head forward to scratch at the back of his head before grunting, "She's surviving."

His thoughts drifted to what had preceded his arrival here and he grimaced.

"Uh oh. _What happened?_" she inquired astutely.

House met her gaze and rolled his eyes before rubbing his face with both hands. Huffing out a breath, he glanced at the TV to see where in the movie they were at, determining that they hadn't yet reached his favorite part, nor Erika's, before he returned his attention to her. Pursing his lips he reluctantly muttered, "My mother went off on me tonight about how Cuddy and I need to fix things between us and… get together. It turned into an argument and I made it pretty clear that I wasn't interested and that as far as I'm concerned, it's over and done with. There's nothing left between us and no way to fix it. _She, _like _you, _believes Cuddy… has it bad for me," he finished, shaking his head in exasperation. "I finally got so riled up that I acknowledged I… love Cuddy, in order to get my mom off my back."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You honestly _thought _telling your _mom _that would get her off your back?! House, that's just insane. If anything, you've now given her reason to believe there's hope," Erika responded, looking at him as if he seriously needed to get a clue where women were concerned.

"_BUT, _I _emphasized _the fact that it didn't change where I stood on the subject," House adamantly defended himself. "My mom was emphatic that I needed to express the fact that I… love her to Cuddy. And," House expelled a breath before wryly stating, "Cuddy overheard at least part of the conversation. When we realized she had come back downstairs and was in the room, having heard… _whatever _she heard, my mom left and I walked away. But by that time, Cuddy wanted to discuss it."

House gave Erika an abbreviated run-down of what had followed and even went so far as to somewhat disclose how he'd felt after she'd walked away, which surprised even him because he hadn't really had any intention of being _that honest _when he'd stepped in the door.

"Well House, you told her to '_get it over with_'. If anyone I loved ever told me that when I was _trying_ to pour out my heart to them, I'd shut up too," Erika dryly replied, tilting her head down to look at him pointedly.

House didn't say anything for a moment, mulling that over. She waited a while but then inquired, "Did she cry?"

He turned his head and stared at her.

"Was she crying when she walked away from you?" she bluntly pressed.

"I wasn't facing her," House answered reluctantly. "But… I guess she _might _have. She… sniffed a few times."

Erika looked at him, her eyes running over his features until he looked away. "It's not that then. I don't really think a woman would cry at that moment unless her feelings were hurt by your reaction or because she wasn't able to share with you something she really wanted you to know. She didn't '_suddenly' _decide she didn't love you as she thought she did. I think she loves you. I really do. I would have to agree with your mother on _this_ one." She thought about listing off several occasions where something had been said or had happened to cause her to give further credence to this belief, but she decided to let it go for now. He'd ask if he wanted her to support her arguments.

"Why don't you just _ask her_ if it's bothering you?" she suggested easily.

House glared her way. "This is complicated _enough. _And besides, it really _doesn't _change anything."

Erika didn't comment, letting it go.

Instead, when his eyes returned to the TV, hers did as well.

Forty-five minutes passed before House spoke up next out of nowhere.

"The man I grew up calling dad wasn't my biological father," he flatly stated.

Erika slowly turned her head in his direction, staring at his profile as she tried to puzzle out if she was _supposed _to know where he was coming from with this, while House continued to watch the movie. Ultimately she decided where it had come from didn't matter as much as the fact that for whatever reason, House wanted to talk to her about this.

"James told me," she admitted quietly, nodding her head.

House looked at her, quirking an eyebrow while waiting for her to explain.

Erika moistened her lips before clarifying, "He told me about what happened with Amber and… how he walked away from your friendship for a time. Then he disclosed what brought him back around."

House dropped his gaze and she hesitated before softly saying, "He doesn't still blame you House."

"I know," he mumbled, not looking up immediately. "But it doesn't change the fact that she probably wouldn't be dead if not for the fact that I called Wilson, she answered, decided to come get me, and…."

His words trailed off and Erika waited, contemplating all James had told her. "Okay," she acknowledged. "It doesn't. But you can't control _everything_ and she made _her own_ choices. House, eventually you have to forgive yourself for Amber's death. Baggage is just that. Baggage. You can carry it around with you the rest of your life but punishing yourself doesn't actually accomplish anything except to drag you down and… deprive you of what you could be better investing your time in. As the saying goes, you 'live and learn.'"

House shrugged. "I've been carrying baggage around with me all my life. I _doubt_ I'll stop now. Things are too deeply entrenched. And besides, frankly, Wilson and I have gotten beyond that in our friendship so for the most part, that's really one of the _lesser _pieces of baggage strapped to my back."

Erika frowned but then opted to return to the subject they'd been on, leaving it up to him to decide if he wanted to open up later on about what _other _pieces of baggage he carried with him. She was sure what had happened with Lisa Cuddy was one of them. Well, okay, she _knew _it was. Pursing her lips she finally said, "Anyway, James told me about how Lisa drugged you so that he could get you to your dad's funeral after your mom called him and asked him to help her convince you to come. He… he told me about how you '_took_ a _sample' _to test your father's DNA against yours to verify what you had already determined on your own as a child."

House nodded, not having a problem with anything Wilson had already informed her about. It saved him the trouble of launching into that as well. He briefly thought over how he wanted to go about this before turning his head to look at her, his eyes then falling to Evie where she lay on Erika's chest, his hand stretching forth to brush aside the curls from her face before he traced a rosy cheek with the tip of his index finger. "Well, Wilson doesn't know the latest developments," he stated before bringing his hand back and allowing his arm to fall on Erika's calf where it lay across his lap.

He filled his cheeks with air and then blew it out before his eyes shifted to the TV screen and he quietly mumbled, "Growing up, my dad was abusive… Not towards my mom. Just towards me. And _never _when she was around to really witness it. All my life… she's lived in her own world and I've allowed her to do so, not seeing the point of ruining her delusions and… wanting to protect her, as much as I could. But this weekend I just… got really tired of this charade and allowing her to pretend that he was the _perfect father_. Anyway, I don't really want to talk about that. And Wilson _does _know that much. But, the reason I'm bringing it up is that… after confronting her yesterday about the fact that my dad wasn't _really_ biologically my dad, today she… came forward, while I was preparing lunch and she was getting a head start on dinner, and… told me the story of how I was conceived."

Erika nodded slowly when he stopped to look up at her. After a moment House related his mother's account of all that had transpired between her and Henry all those years ago. When he fell silent, Erika let her head fall to the right, against the couch, studying him. "How are you doing?" she asked quietly. "That's a lot of information to work through. How are you internally reacting to what you've learned?"

House narrowed his eyes, frowning as he tried to figure out an answer for that. Finally he turned his head in her direction and shrugged. "I have no clue," he wearily acknowledged. "I haven't had a chance to work through it and I've done my best today to not let myself think about it, figuring I'd do so once I could be alone with my thoughts. But when my mom sounded off on how I _need _to work things out _with Cuddy,_ suddenly I was tossing out remarks on how she can't tell me I should be with Cuddy because she's the mother of my kids when she herself stayed with John, who wasn't my biological father, rather than pursuing something with Henry. And then… _then _I told her Cuddy basically did to me what _my mom DID to Henry_. I don't know _where THAT came from, _but it's… not far off."

House scrubbed a hand over his face and Erika waited a moment before asking, "What can I do to help? Do you want me to be a sounding board? Do you want me to ask questions and help you work through it? Or would you just like to relax for a while and watch the rest of this movie in silence? I kinda need to check on the boys but frankly, they're entertaining themselves and don't really need me. I just need to go make sure they're in pajamas and that they've brushed their teeth so when they crash from the sugar high they are currently thriving off of, they're ready for bed. Then I'm all yours."

"I don't think I have it in me to talk anymore tonight," House replied after considering the matter. "But I'm all for finishing this movie. Want me to pause it while you check on Trevor and his buddy?"

Erika debated with herself a moment and then replied with a smile, "No. But if I'm not back by the time Hector and Achilles fight, send out a search party, _after _you put it on pause."

"You just have the hots for Brad Pitt," House taunted.

She shook her head. "No, but I _do _stop breathing when he does that turn and jump. And I _love _all the muscles gleaming in the sunlight."

He gave her an amused look and wryly said, "I kinda noticed your 'obsession' when you made me rewind it five times the first time we watched it so you could watch the battle from different parts of the room and with your head at various angles."

"Shut up," she muttered as she moved her feet off him before slowly getting up. "I'm going to lay Evie down on my bed," she said then.

"Okay," House responded with a shrug. He was sure he'd hear her, should she wake up and need him.

Erika headed upstairs and settled Evie on her bed, surrounding her with pillows before dimming the light and going to check on the boys. She found them in the midst of a sea of matchbox cars, making engine noises as they crashed into them or jumped them with various monster trucks that Trevor had gotten to add to his collection over the last year. After instructing them to brush their teeth and overseeing that portion of the process, she then told them to get their pajamas on before heading back downstairs.

House had finally gotten around to grabbing the bowl of popcorn and was munching away when she rejoined him, stretching back out with her feet across him once more. They finished the movie, House taking a firm hold of her legs with one hand as the credits began to roll before tickling her feet.

Erika struggled to not react as she warned, "You better let go or I might _accidentally _kick you in your bad leg."

House was confident he had a good grasp on her and continued to pester her until she was practically writhing in an attempt to escape him. He chuckled but then released her and she sighed in relief, pulling her legs away from him before shooting him a dirty look. "Feeling better, I take it?" she wryly asked him, getting to her feet and placing a hand upon her hip.

House frowned moodily and then got up reluctantly. She studied him a moment and finally asked, "You said Lisa is surviving this weekend. Are _you_ going to survive it?"

He took a deep breath and released it, looking at the floor. "_That_ remains to be seen," he dryly responded, grabbing their empty pop cans and the popcorn bowl before exiting the living room to head for the kitchen.

She watched him go, mulling over his response. Then she turned off the TV, grabbed the bag of chips, and followed after him, finding him rinsing out the cans before he tossed them in with her recycling. She smiled to see him do what _she_ always did and what he would often rag upon her for if he was still around to watch her do it.

"Your mom leaves sometimes tomorrow?" Erika finally clarified.

House turned back to her and nodded. "Being that my dad was in the Marines, Memorial Day has always been a big deal. She wants to be at the cemetery Monday. It's her thing. She's done it every year since he died. Practically spends half the day there."

Erika nodded and then queried, "Why don't you all come over for lunch tomorrow _instead of _Monday night? That way maybe you'll get some respite from all the out-of-your-depth conversations flying at you and Monday you can just stay home and relax, since your mom will be gone by then. _OR _come tomorrow _and _Monday if you want. In any case, come. Trevor's been talking about you nonstop the last couple days and I already admitted to missing you. Plus, I can _surely _rein in your mother."

"Don't be so sure of that," House wryly stated, but he nodded and made a face before saying, "Gonna invite Wilson? My mom is practically in love with him."

She laughed but shrugged. "Why not? It'll be fun to get all of us together."

The corner of House's mouth drifted upwards but after a moment he grew serious and looked down at his feet before meeting her gaze again. "I'm going to talk to Wilson about… _stuff _but I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell him about Cuddy and… what she said or _didn't say._"

"Got it," she agreed. "Want to come upstairs with me to get Evie and peek in on the boys? They're probably asleep by now but…"

House nodded, following her out of the kitchen and up the stairs. Erika soundlessly pushed open the door to Trevor's room and then smiled before leaning back to let House look in. Both boys were sound asleep in their sleeping bags on the floor, clearly on the only stretch of surface that _didn't _have matchbox cars strewn over it. Trevor was in a Transformer sleeping bag and his buddy in the Incredible Hulk. Both of them looked like they'd crashed and burned in the midst of their play, despite being in their sleeping bags, because Trevor had a monster truck resting under his hand and the other boy some sort of single engine airplane, from what House could see of it.

House turned and headed towards Erika's room to get Evie, Erika right behind him. "Sleepovers," he grunted. "I'm not quite sure I want to _think _about what those will entail, being that I have girls."

"Makeup, hairstyling, manicures and pedicures, talking about the cutest boy in class," Erika supplied for him, laughing quietly at the glare he shot her way.

"No makeup and absolutely _no _talking about boys," House corrected. "The rest I can live with."

"Uh huh," she noncommittally replied. "Don't worry House. You have a few years of peace before you'll have to deal with that."

"A _few?_" he skeptically muttered. "I better start inundating my girls with the idea that boys are disgusting, right now."

Erika moved her pillows out of the way and then House bent to scoop Evie up, settling her against his chest. Erika brushed Evie's hair back from her face before following him back downstairs.

"I'll see you tomorrow around noon?" she asked once they'd reached the front door and she'd pulled it open to step outside with him.

House nodded and then muttered, "Thanks," glancing in the direction of his house.

Erika smiled and nodded before rising up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. "Night, House. I'm glad you came over."

"Me too," he admitted gruffly before turning to head down her front steps. "Night, Erika," he called back to her.

She watched him until he reached his front walk, enjoying the moment of fresh air. Then she turned and headed inside, planning to do some cleanup before seeing what she had in the freezer that she could make for lunch tomorrow.

* * *

House unlocked his front door and went inside, shutting and locking the door behind him. He sighed, ready to hit the sheets, weary after a long day. Turning to go change Evie into her pajamas and lay her down in the crib, he came to a stop when he spotted Cuddy sitting on the top step of the first landing in her robe, a cup of tea cradled in her hands.

"Are you waiting for me?" he finally asked, not knowing what else to say.

Cuddy shrugged. She was, but that was kind of obvious. After going upstairs, she'd gone over and over the night in her head and just felt worse and worse about what had happened in the kitchen. But when she'd come down, he was nowhere to be found. Since his car was in the garage, it hadn't taken much to guess he'd gone next door. The fact that he entered the house in bare feet pretty much confirmed that one. Cuddy had settled in the living room with her laptop, working through some items on her agenda that needed to be done at some point this next week. When she'd finally been unable to concentrate any longer on what was before her on the screen, she'd shut down her computer before carrying it upstairs, returning to the kitchen a few minutes later to make herself some tea.

"I wanted to say I'm sorry for the way I cornered you like that in the kitchen," she murmured after a moment, meeting his eyes. "I'm sorry House. While I… _want _to tell you how I feel about you, my timing was all wrong. And later as I was thinking about it, I realized that while my day had been… difficult, yours had too. I don't know what happened in the kitchen earlier with your mom but… I know you enough to know when you're upset and instead of finding a way to make things better or to, I don't know, _be there for you, _as you have been there for me this weekend, I just added to the problem. So again, I'm sorry."

House stared at her a moment and then nodded almost imperceptibly in acknowledgement of what she'd said. Looking away, he mumbled, "One more day and things can go back to how they were before my mom came for a visit."

Cuddy wasn't sure that was exactly what she wanted, though she _did _welcome it just being the two of them in the house with the girls again, along with the subsidence of the stress level they were both feeling the effects of right now. Pushing herself up to her feet, she descended the flight of stairs before following him as he turned to go into Evie's room, readying her for bed. Cuddy brushed her fingertips through Evie's locks, holding her mug in the other hand. She bent down and pressed a kiss to the sleeping baby's cheek while House pulled a pair of pajamas from the drawer.

"Did you _want _to tell me about your day?" she hesitantly asked him in a whisper, glancing up at him.

House looked at her in surprise but then shook his head. "No. That's okay. I'm good," he replied quietly before returning his attention to Evie as he slipped her pajamas on and did up the snaps.

She nodded, accepting his response. It wasn't as if there was anything else she could do AND have the night end better than it had been following the kitchen episode.

House lifted Evie off the changing table and turned, placing her in her crib and covering her with a blanket.

"Erika invited us all over for lunch tomorrow," he said after a moment, glancing back at her before turning on the baby monitor.

Cuddy bit her lip at the confirmation that that's who he had been with, even though she'd _known_. She wondered what had been said between him and Erika and… how much he had confided in the other woman. She tried to guess whether he'd have told _Erika _about whatever happened in the kitchen earlier, whether he opened up to _her_. She really had no right to object to him making a confidante of anyone, especially in light of all she'd told Lucas and lived to regret, but all the same, she wished he could have talked to her. She wished… they had that kind of a reciprocal relationship. "Okay," she murmured evenly before reaching for her mug once more, adding, "Good night, House."

"Night," he mumbled, turning to switch off the light before following her out of the room.

Cuddy went upstairs while House set the security system before heading into his bedroom, closing the door behind him, ready to call it a night. Sleep probably wouldn't be quick in coming, considering he still had so much on his mind, including Cuddy's apology to reason through, but at least solitude would be his and he could think without distraction. Maybe that was enough.

* * *

May 29th, 2011

Blythe showed up at ten, having already checked out of the hotel, her bags in her trunk, ready for the drive home. Cuddy surrendered Evie to her when she walked in the door and then went back into the kitchen to finish the dishes from breakfast before rejoining everyone in the living room.

House felt his mother's eyes upon him and knew he was being scrutinized as she tried to gauge what had taken place after she'd left the night before, but she didn't come out and say much of anything and the next couple hours passed smoothly and without incident.

When House informed her that they'd all been invited next door for lunch AND that Wilson would be there too, his mother made no objection whatsoever, in truth, looking quite pleased about it. When they exited the house and headed to Erika's, Cuddy carried Evie while Rachel ran in front of the adults, clearly thrilled at the idea of seeing Trevor. Wilson opened the door and welcomed them inside before allowing himself to be hugged fiercely by Blythe.

"James, it's so _good _to see you!" she warmly declared as House rolled his eyes over her shoulder, which Cuddy and Wilson both observed and smiled at.

"It's nice to see you too, Blythe," Wilson replied easily.

Erika came out of the kitchen right then and Wilson formally introduced her to Blythe.

"This is Erika Lange, House's neighbor and my girlfriend."

"It's very nice to meet you," Blythe said, shaking Erika's proffered hand. "I've heard a lot about you."

"She's lying," House dryly informed Erika. "You've _never _come up in conversation."

"Greg!" Blythe rebuked. "Quit telling lies. You've told me about her and… Trevor, right?"

Erika nodded, giving House a smug look that said he'd been busted.

"House!" came a shout from the top of the stairs right then.

"Trevor!" Rachel squealed, jumping up and down beside House.

House chuckled, looking up to watch as Trevor came downstairs as quickly as he could. "Hey kid," he greeted him. "Long time, no see."

"Mom said you were over last night and you didn't even come up to say hi," he pouted. "Hi Rachel," he added then, looking down at her when she happily latched on to his hand.

House ruffled his hair. "You were already asleep when I came upstairs. How are you feeling? Better?"

"I'm good," Trevor replied before frowning and muttering, "Mom made me go back to school Thursday."

"Thems the breaks," House agreed, unable to fault him for not wanting to return to school any sooner than he had to. "Friend still over or did he go home?"

"His mom came and picked him up this morning," Trevor answered.

"We play?" Rachel asked Trevor hopefully, looking up at him with wide, expressive eyes.

Trevor looked at his mom, clearly wanting to stay with House.

"We'll be eating in a few minutes, Trev," she informed him. "Why don't you play with Rachel a little bit first? It's obvious she's really excited to see you."

Trevor nodded only slightly begrudgingly before heading with her into the living room to play with the toys that were still out from earlier in the morning.

House chuckled, watching them go before quipping, "At least I don't have to worry about Trevor taking a liking to one of my girls."

Erika smiled but shook her head. "Just because right now he's reticent to leave your side for Rachel, doesn't mean when he's in college and Rachel's in high school, that will still be the case. He likes Rachel. He just hasn't seen you in a while and probably has a million questions to ask you, about chess, monster trucks, or the latest video game he's played."

House gave her a dirty look but she redirected her attention to Cuddy. "Hi Lisa. How are you?"

Cuddy looked at the baby in her arms before giving Erika the best smile she could manage after having to hear Blythe mention how House had talked to her about Erika and Trevor. "Thanks for having us over," she replied. "And Wilson," she added, looking to him. "It's… really nice to see you. Outside work, I mean."

Wilson nodded, searching for something to say. "Charlie Bridges died Friday night," he then said.

Cuddy gave him a sympathetic look and nodded while Erika reached out and squeezed his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I know you've spent the last four years trying to battle his cancer and for a while there, thought treatment was proving successful and the cancer was gone. Was his wife able to be there for his final moments?"

Wilson nodded. "She was. And three of their four kids flew in just in the nick of time," he informed her. "As far as endings go, it was a decent one."

Cuddy nodded again.

"His wife still wear those old librarian glasses with the rhinestones and the beaded chain?" House asked, raising an eyebrow.

Wilson looked at him and then his mouth curved up in a smile before he chuckled. "Yep. Same ones," he acknowledged.

"Huh," was all House said in reply.

The mood having changed slightly for the better, Erika declared, "Lunch is just about ready. You can all come in and take a seat. I just need to put salad on the table, pull out the dressings, and serve drinks. Then I'll call the kids and we'll be set."

They followed her into the kitchen and Wilson went to work putting the salad dressings Erika passed him onto the table before filling glasses with whatever anyone asked for. She then headed out to call the kids and once everyone was seated, they dug in, making small talk, House grinning when his mother started interrogating Wilson and Erika on _their_ relationship, earning himself a glare from Erika when he actually goaded his mother into asking _more _questions of the two of them. He gave her an innocent look, knowing she _wouldn't _turn the tables on him.

After lunch, Blythe insisted on helping Erika with the cleanup while Cuddy was preoccupied feeding Evie a bottle. House and Wilson sat with Cuddy and the three kids in the living room.

"You couldn't control your mother?" Wilson dryly asked him.

House scoffed, raising an eyebrow. "I've yet to meet _anyone_ who can control my mother. Although I will say, David did a fair job at Christmas."

"Is she still seeing him?" Wilson inquired.

House nodded though his face reflected his thoughts had shifted off somewhere far away.

"You okay?" Wilson quietly queried, giving him a look.

"Yeah," he dismissively replied.

Cuddy was surprised to hear Blythe was seeing someone. She hadn't heard one mention of it all weekend. "Who's _David?_" she asked curiously.

"A guy who lives near my mom who she's seeing and who came at Christmastime with her for a visit," House explained with a shrug.

Cuddy slowly nodded. "Is it serious?" she couldn't help inquiring.

House looked at her like he had no idea and didn't _want _to know. "They aren't living together," was his only response.

"Mommy, me need the bathroom," Rachel declared, running to Cuddy's side and hugging her knee.

"I'll take her," House offered, getting to his feet.

Rachel clasped House's hand and Wilson watched the two of them leave the room together. He looked over at Cuddy and commented, "They've… grown really close."

Cuddy nodded, trying for lightheartedness when she wryly stated, "The expression 'thick as thieves' comes to mind."

Wilson somberly considered the matter for a long moment. "It'll be hard on House when you both move out. I imagine he won't want to let her go," he finally said, somewhat probingly.

Cuddy looked up from the baby to meet his gaze. She moistened her lips and then calmly replied, "It will be hard on Rachel too." She guessed Wilson was trying to feel her out, see how perhaps _she _felt about leaving or _whether _she still planned on leaving, and so she chose her answer carefully, secretly thinking in saying "it _WILL _be hard," she was hoping for when Rachel went away for college and NOT a moment sooner.

Rachel came running back into the room, plopping herself down on the floor at Trevor's side to play, but House did not immediately make a reappearance. Wilson got up and headed out of the room to track his best friend down and ask him in private how the visit from his mother was going, since Erika had implied on the phone when she'd called this morning that it might not be such a bad idea if he checked in on his buddy while helping her distract Blythe during lunch and giving House a break.

Blythe and Erika were alone in the kitchen, almost through with the cleanup and currently talking about some recipe for the best German chocolate cake Blythe had ever tasted. He bypassed them and continued on, finally locating House on the three-season porch. Stepping out to join him, Wilson waited until his friend glanced his way before casually saying, "Erika mentioned your mom's visit hasn't been a bowlful of cherries."

"You could say that," House wryly replied. "_Although_, today hasn't been bad. _Yet._"

"Yeah, that's because she's digging into my personal life instead of yours," Wilson dryly retorted.

House's mouth twitched but he didn't immediately reply, continuing to look out into the backyard. After a while he said, "_Actually, _while my mom _has _been vocal about her wishes that Cuddy and I would… _become an item_," he grunted, "I _knew _that would happen and it pretty much comes with the territory. But as it turns out, there's a lot more to digest this weekend than I ever expected to be hit with."

Wilson raised an eyebrow at him, taking a few steps to come alongside him, folding his arms over his chest before also staring out the back window. "Want to tell me about it?"

House exhaled through his nose. "I don't want to leave my mother alone too long. Who knows the kind of havoc she might even now be wreaking."

"She's talking with Erika about a recipe for German chocolate cake. I think for the moment anyway, you're safe," Wilson quipped.

"You'd be surprised at what a conversation about German chocolate cake can spin off into, when in the capable hands of my mother," House snidely remarked.

"Erika's agenda for the day is to do whatever it takes to keep a short leash on your mom, at least until you all leave here. I don't think you have anything to worry about," he replied, glancing House's way.

House adjusted his neck, stretching it one way and then the other. "How about bowling this Tuesday night?" he suggested.

Wilson nodded agreeably. "Tuesday works for me," he voiced. "But are you going to leave me in the dark here or give me an idea of what I'm in for?"

House harrumphed but then gruffly stated, "This weekend I gave up on whatever intentions I had to allow my mother her delusion that my dad was a perfect father."

Wilson considered that and ultimately settled on saying, "Maybe it was time for her to hear what you had to say."

House shook his head. "I didn't say all that much. I certainly didn't launch into my sordid past to any great detail. But… I did tell her I did a DNA test that proved John wasn't my real father."

Wilson looked at him in shock. "Did you tell her _how _you obtained a sample?"

"Nooo," House drew out, narrowing his eyes before giving Wilson a pointed look. "She'd _kill me_. Or worse, force me to hear her whine and cry and lecture me about defiling the dead for the rest of my life."

Wilson snorted and then shook his head. "What did she say?" he finally replied.

"She didn't get much of a chance to respond right away, since Cuddy and Rachel came home before she could really get into it with me," House acknowledged. "But yesterday she… relayed what happened and the truth about… well, you know."

Wilson nodded, releasing his breath.

"Anyway, I'll tell you on Tuesday," House muttered dismissively, turning to head back inside.

"Ah, I love a good cliffhanger," Wilson sarcastically responded, following him.

House looked back at him to give him a droll stare and Wilson smiled before sobering and asking, "You gonna be alright?"

House rolled his eyes but nodded, leading the way back towards the living room where everyone else was now located.

Cuddy had Evie up on her shoulder and was burping her when they reentered.

Wilson headed over and asked, "Can I hold my niece?"

She nodded and passed the baby to him, her eyes flitting over to search House's face as he'd gone missing for several minutes before returning with Wilson. He met her gaze briefly but then looked away, talking to Trevor about an upcoming monster truck event of some sort. She memorized his outburst of sudden laughter after Trevor hinted, as children will, that his birthday was coming up in July and it would sure be nice to go to that rally, causing Erika to breathlessly say his name in rebuke before glancing at everyone else in momentary mortification.

Blythe just smiled at Erika. "I remember when Greg was a little boy. He must have been six at the time. He'd been talking nonstop for weeks about an air show at the base, listing all the tricks he'd overheard were going to be performed and the various planes that were flying in just to participate. He was ecstatic. The only way I got him to be quiet was by promising him that his father would take him."

Cuddy's eyes turned to look at House but the smile melted off her lips at the pained expression on his face which it seemed everyone but Blythe was aware of.

"Do you remember the air show, Greg?" she asked, turning to look at him. "Do you remember if it was everything they made it out to be?"

House looked away and silence descended in the room until Blythe hesitantly prompted once more, "Greg?"

"_We_ didn't go," he muttered.

"Of _course_ you went," Blythe corrected. "I remember your father _taking_ you."

"No. You remember us _leaving _the house. And you remember us _returning_ that night and dad _telling_ you about it. But _we_ never went mom," he calmly mumbled.

Everyone's eyes were glued to House, curious about the fact that House and Blythe seemed to know two different versions of the same story. Erika was probably the one whose face reflected the most doubt at allowing this conversation to proceed.

"But honey, don't you _remember? _That was the night your father ran across an old buddy of his and he took you up in his two-passenger plane for a spin. You forgot to latch your seatbelt properly and you ended up getting thrown around before he could straighten the plane out. I specifically remember because I was so upset with your father when you came home with a split lip and a nasty cut on your forehead, not to mention how your hands were raw from trying to find something to clutch onto to stop yourself from tumbling about inside the plane. I wanted that man's name so I could go ream him out for not being more careful with a child. I wanted to get his superiors on the line and give them what for. It was several days before I'd even _speak_ to John because I couldn't forgive him for allowing you to go in an airplane without him there to supervise you, _AND_ for being so _dismissive_ of your injuries as to shield that pilot from me! I can't imagine you've forgotten this, Greg," Blythe finished in disbelief.

"Dad didn't take me to the air show," House quietly replied, lost in his own world of pain and heartache, having lost his bearings as to where he was as he had a flashback to that night when he'd left his mother, practically trembling with uncontrollable excitement at the night he expected to lay in store for him, a special night that was supposed to be about his dad and him "bonding" and sharing a fascination for the marvels of modern flight technology like little boys dream of, only to find his dad had no such intention of taking him to the air show and furious that Blythe had refused to back down from demanding he take House to it, since the boy wanted so badly to go. Oh, John had _every intention _of going. He just had _no _intention of taking House with. And he'd been quick to get that message across after they were out of sight and hearing distance of the house. It wasn't often that his dad would hit him, especially unusual for him to leave marks. But that night, House had _not _understood nor _known better _than to threaten to tell his mom if his dad _didn't _take him in an attempt to be able to witness something he'd spent weeks daydreaming about.

"There was no buddy who was a fellow pilot with a hotshot plane," House mumbled. "There was no plane ride. That _wasn't _how I got _any _of those injuries. Dad lied to you. He was _always_ lying to you. And you _always _believed him."

Blythe gasped for air, unable to muddle through what he was trying to say.

Before she could find words to try and figure out what he was telling her, Trevor spoke up. "What did happen to you then?" he asked in confusion. "How did you get hurt?"

House immediately snapped out of it, realizing instantly where he was and who he was with. He looked at Trevor and his horror grew. He shot a look at Erika whose expression reflected her stormy emotions and searched for words as he stumbled about for something to say. "I… I… I'm… sorry. I…" And then he turned and just bolted, limping urgently for the door.

Cuddy's heart was racing in her chest. She felt like she was going to pass out as her head had quickly filled with scenarios of how House might _really _have received such injuries as his mother had detailed, the horror on her face echoing that which had been on House's face. She sat there, shaken, grappling with everything currently running through her mind as she stared at Rachel who was looking after her daddy, clearly aware something was wrong but not having the ability to know what it was. Even Trevor was bewildered by what had just taken place.

Wilson had also found himself in a similar situation, but unlike Cuddy's current musings, his feelings were turning inward, guilt rising up within him at having never really given the vague statements House had said, any credence. Oh, he had believed that John House had been a difficult man and even considered the fact that the man's expectations of House and treatment of him had bordered on inappropriate and potentially, highly questionable. House had made statements that indicated John's expectations of him had been unreasonable and that the man had an "insane moral compass." But now… all he could think of was how he had _forced _his best friend to go to the funeral of a man who, from the sounds of what had just been outlined, hadn't simply been a _difficult _man, but an _abusive_ one.

Erika however was the first to recover from her shock, turning to run after him. "House," she called out as she turned the corner and found the front door wide open, chasing after him. Scanning around her, she caught sight of him _not _heading for his house but going in the opposite direction. She quickly took back up her pursuit of him, slowing down once she'd caught up enough that he was not far ahead of her.

"House," she said, her voice softer now. "Wait up."

He came to a stop, looking up at the sky and exhaling heavily as he waited for her. "I'm sorry," he mumbled when she came alongside him. "I don't know what I was thinking. When she started telling that story… It was like I was reliving it. I… got stuck in the memory and forgot… I forgot who all was present and I _didn't_ mean for Trevor…"

"_House_," she interrupted, her tone more assertive. "I am _NOT _upset with you for what just _happened._ And Trevor will be fine, so stop thinking you've… screwed up my kid by maybe exposing him to the reality that this world isn't perfect and some parents turn out to be real creeps. All you've really accused your father of through your words was being a liar. And then maybe Trevor's done some guesswork by now to try and figure out how you got hurt, but he doesn't _know _anything. He loves you and he's probably worried about you right now. My guess is he doesn't even know what just happened or… what you were talking about. But I can deal with that. Stop beating yourself up about this. You didn't mean for this subject to come up. Your _mother _didn't even _have a clue_ that talking about when you were an excited six year old boy would lead to what you just disclosed."

"Damn it!" House angrily muttered, his fists clenching at his sides.

Erika was surprised at the sudden change in emotion from that of regret and sorrow to that of anger, but she reached out and touched his arm soothingly, stepping in front of him to place a hand on his jaw, realizing suddenly that his eyes had filled with hot tears. When a couple fell, House seemingly ignorant of them, she wiped them away, waiting for him to establish eye contact.

"Talk to me," she murmured when he shook his head from side to side, blinking, his mouth firmly fixed in a grimace.

He looked off down the block, over her head, but he finally gruffly said, "Cuddy was there. Now she… She might not _know _exactly but… she has a good idea of…"

When he didn't move to finish his statement, Erika calmly asked, "What are you thinking? Why does it matter what _Lisa_ is thinking right now? What are you worried about?"

House dropped his head, his breathing erratic as his jaw clenched within Erika's fingers. "Now that she knows what I…" He stopped and exhaled raggedly but Erika wasn't about to let him stop at that.

She stroked his cheek for a moment before asking, "What?"

"I would _NEVER_ _DO THAT _to _MY GIRLS!" _House asserted fiercely.

Her hand stilled on his face but then she blinked and sternly said, "Now you listen to me, Greg House! _No one_ thinks you'd lay a finger on those girls! NO ONE! So STOP thinking like that! Lisa is NOT going to take your girls away from you or try and keep you from them over this. She is NOT suddenly going to watch you every second of the day as if you're some _predator _and those little girls might quickly become your victims. She's NOT going to respond to this the way you currently are under the impression of and think she will."

"You don't _know _her," House grunted. "You don't _know _how she's taking this… _news," _he distastefully spit out. "You don't know what she's thinking right now any more than I do."

"Exactly! You _don't _know what she's thinking, House. So don't go assuming you do. And unless _she _grew up in an abusive home and has some internal… _predisposition or something_ that would cause _her personally_ to be afraid of having to potentially go through the cycle again or _you _have done _something_ that might give her reason to think you would physically harm one of those little girls, there isn't a _single reason _why you have to put yourself through this… this _agony _of thinking you're about to lose them! You are _NOT _the man who raised you, House! I don't know him, but I don't _have to know him_ to tell you that! You are overreacting. And from what I've seen of Lisa Cuddy, the _little _that I've seen of her, she's probably in that house right now agonizing over how she missed this and missed being there for you, just going off of her _extreme and excessive _guilt complex I've been so…" she rolled her eyes before sarcastically concluding, "_honored_ as to witness on a previous occasion that will probably always live in infamy on the list of strange things I have seen happen in my neighbor's front yards. Anyway, it's either that or she's trying to figure out how to love and support you through this now that she does know."

"I don't _need _her to love and support me through this," House dryly retorted, straightening his posture, having calmed down now. "I just don't want my past to affect my present. I don't want it to have any bearing on how others determine my capability to be a good father to my girls."

The past _always _affects the present, she thought to herself as her hands came back down to her sides. But that _didn't _mean it had to be in a negative fashion. She tried to choose her words carefully before saying, "Some of the best parents are the ones who've had the crappiest things happen to them as children. The less you limit yourself by some social stigma, the less others' will. Isn't that what you've been trying to teach Trevor? To not be limited by what others say and think because he has a physical limitation that he didn't have a few years back? When you _aren't_ trying to teach him to embrace social stigma and use it to his _advantage,_" she threw in wryly, giving him a raised eyebrow as they both remembered the Halloween before.

House chuckled quietly, visibly relaxing, and Erika shook her head though a smile had blossomed on her face. Without hesitation she threw her arms around him and gave him a bear hug until he grunted and testily said, "I'm still hoping to get some use yet out of these organs. Do you think you could refrain from squeezing them until they burst?"

She stepped back to look up at him and then asked, "Want to go back inside with me or are you going to stay out here a while?"

"I think… I think I'll take a walk around the block or something. I just need to work through having that happen in there," he replied, glancing back towards the house, relieved to find there wasn't a crowd of people staring at him from the doorway.

"Want some company?" she inquired, tilting her head to the side to study him.

House pursed his lips but then said, "Actually, would you have a problem with Trevor accompanying me? I… He's your kid and I'm obviously not about to launch into any of this with him but… I'd kind of like to handle this one myself. If you don't care."

Erika looked at him in surprise but for her it did make sense. House had invested a lot of time and… a _lot_ of _himself _in Trevor. She didn't really have a problem with him handling this one, if that was what he wanted to do. It _was _his story to tell. "You won't go into detail regarding what you had to deal with as a kid?" she verified anyway, her mother's heart needing to double-check. "He might ask questions and I'd rather he not know too much too soon."

House rolled his eyes. "I'm not an _idiot,_" he stated blandly.

"I know," she replied, smiling now. "Blame it on being overprotective after having your story tugging on my heartstrings," she quipped, knowing her reference to feeling for him would irritate him just the right amount.

House narrowed his eyes in annoyance but she lifted her chin and then shook her head slightly before saying, "I'll send him out to you."

"I'll wait here," he replied, not moving from his spot.

Erika turned and headed back to the house, walking within to find three adults who didn't seem to know what they were supposed to do now. "Ice cream?" she suggested, looking around the room and receiving disbelieving stares from everyone except Rachel who squealed gleefully and Trevor who looked at her uncertainly.

"I should go…" Wilson began, passing Evie to Cuddy.

Erika reached out and touched his arm. "No. He's fine. Just hold off for now."

Erika looked at Cuddy who met her gaze almost beseechingly before biting her lip, clearly uncertain as to what she was to do, and from the way she was stealing glances at Wilson, his presence was one of the reasons why she _hadn't_ yet risen from her seat to follow House, beyond just the fact that she didn't want to leave the girls after what had just been said, regardless of whether or not they understood anything that had taken place. Erika also thought Cuddy might be quite aware that House _wouldn't _want her to react to this the way she was wrestling with herself not to.

Turning back to Wilson, she gave him a look that told him to just wait this one out awhile before she focused her attention on Trevor.

Erika motioned for him to come over to her and then squatted down before him, straightening his t-shirt. "House is waiting outside for you in front of the neighbor's house. He wondered if you'd like to go on a walk around the block with him, just the two of you. He doesn't have his cane so he could probably use you to act as his spotter and make sure he doesn't trip on any big cracks or anything," she lamely added for good measure.

"Me not go with daddy?" Rachel asked, coming alongside, her lip trembling as she forgot all about her hopes of ice cream and her thoughts returned to her daddy and how unhappy he had looked when he left. "Daddy sad. Daddy need me," she murmured, suddenly hiccupping.

"Is he alright?" Trevor asked, his eyes reflecting the fact that he was concerned about his friend too.

"He's going to be just fine," she reassured him, knowing the other adults could hear her, although Blythe currently looked like she was lost and trying to piece out a million things that didn't seem to jive in order to make a recognizable whole out of everything.

Turning to Rachel, who Cuddy had reached out for and whose hair she was currently stroking, Erika said, "Your daddy is going to be _just fine_. I'm sure he'd love to get a hug and a kiss from you when he comes back but right now he needs to talk to Trevor for a minute. Okay?"

Rachel looked at her, her little face reflecting the fact that she wasn't so sure, but Cuddy moistened her lips and whispered, "Rachel, you'll see daddy in a little bit."

Erika turned back to her son and waited until he nodded before she too nodded and Trevor then headed for the door. "Take your coat," she prompted him before he could get too far, straightening to her feet to go to the door and watch him until he reached House's side, her neighbor rifling Trevor's hair before placing an arm around him, settling a hand on his shoulder.

She sighed and then closed the door to find Wilson next to her, running a hand over his face. "I should have gone after him," he muttered. "He's my best friend. And I'm an idiot."

"I don't think anyone knew what to do in that moment," she murmured quietly. "And House didn't _expect_ anyone to go after him. You can check on him later."

Heading back into the living room, she sat down on the couch beside Cuddy and placed a finger on the end of Rachel's nose before she cheerfully asked, "_Now_, what kind of ice cream would you like, Rachel?"

"Umm, you got chocolate?" she asked hopefully after glancing at her mommy, still worried about her daddy and receiving the most reassuring look Cuddy could manage.

"The only woman who _doesn't_ have chocolate ice cream in her fridge is the one who hasn't yet gone to the store," Erika teased, getting back to her feet and offering Rachel her hand before leading her off into the kitchen.

Cuddy got to her feet with the baby in her arms and headed for the hallway but then stopped to look back at Wilson. "Can you hold her while I go to the bathroom?" she asked softly.

Wilson nodded and approached her, taking the baby back and watching Cuddy walk away. Then he turned around and huffed out a breath of frustration before his eyes fell on Blythe, who wasn't appearing to react in any way at all, at least not externally. Suddenly worried she was going to have a stroke or something, he approached her and sat down hesitantly at her side, not having the first clue what he was supposed to say here. House had _always _argued that she was blind to a fault, especially where his dad was concerned. And part of Wilson now wanted to slap her and tell her to snap out of it and _react, _to _realize _that there was more to House's issues with his dad than any of them had known. But that was just it. _None _of them had known. And it was a little hard to blame her for wanting to believe what she wanted to believe, at least, completely, when he almost wished he didn't know _now_ either.

Clearing his throat, he asked, "Blythe? You okay?"

It was a full minute before he repeated the question and received a response from her. "I just don't understand," she mumbled.

Wilson wasn't going to take anything for granted anymore. "You don't understand what?"

"If he didn't take him to the air show, where did he take him?" she whispered, not looking up at him. "I still have the tickets for the air show. He _gave_ them to me after they came home. He _knew _I wanted to _keep_ stuff like that and so he brought them home to me. He… he _teased me_ about being so sentimental."

Wilson stared at her, not knowing how to respond. "I don't know where he took him," he finally said. "I've never heard this story before. House… makes a point of _not _talking about his dad."

Blythe finally looked up at him at hearing that and frowned before asking, "Where could he have taken him that he'd have gotten those injuries? What could be _worse _than being tossed about inside a plane? What would motivate someone to use _that _as a cover story and consider it _better _than the truth?"

Oh man, Wilson thought to himself. She _is _in _denial_. Even after all that House just said or… implied. Wilson tried to hide the disgust from his expression but his self-righteous anger stirred within him and he couldn't prevent himself from stating, "Maybe it would be worse to have to find out House's bruises came from John himself."

Blythe's eyes widened as she stared at him, aghast at what she thought he was suggesting. "John would _NEVER…_" she began.

"Wouldn't he?" Wilson asked calmly, giving a slight shrug as he managed to pull himself together. "Maybe… maybe it's time to consider he wasn't _completely _the man you _thought_ he was. He obviously lied to you. Is it possible that…"

His words trailed off as Cuddy reentered the living room, approaching him to take Evie back, hugging her tightly to her chest. She looked from Blythe to Wilson and he could see she'd been crying.

"I'm going to take the girls home," she murmured, looking away.

"I'll go with you," Blythe was quick to reply, wanting an escape just as badly, if not more so, than Cuddy herself. She also _wanted _to talk to _her son_ and as she hadn't heard what Erika had said to Trevor earlier, she assumed the place she was most likely to run into him at was his own home.

Cuddy glanced at Blythe, a whirlwind of emotion swirling within her, no longer knowing _what _she thought of the woman before her. But she nodded, making no argument at Blythe's statement. "Rachel's finishing up her ice cream," she murmured quietly. "Erika said she'd bring her back to the house when she was done."

Wilson walked to the door with them and then pressed a kiss to Evie's head before saying goodbye to both Cuddy and Blythe, watching them walk back next door. He glanced around outside to see if he'd catch sight of House and Trevor returning but didn't see hide nor hair of either one. Turning, he went back inside the house, trying to separate all the thoughts bouncing around inside his brain. He headed back for the kitchen, intending to track Erika down. He wanted to know what had been said when she'd ran after House while all of the rest of them were struck mute and paralyzed by the situation. But he knew he'd have to wait until Rachel was gone to bring it up. So instead his thoughts drifted to Cuddy, someone he… despite everything, knew well enough to recognize her tears had been shed _for _House. He might not know what she'd been feeling. Heck, he didn't even know what _he _was feeling right now. But those tears said _something _that he was not sure how to decipher, or _what_ to make of. He sat down at the table next to Rachel and Erika came over to place her hands on his shoulders, noting his tension and rubbing his back in response. He looked up at her in appreciation and sighed heavily, leaning into her touch.

She smiled softly and then glanced at Rachel.

Wilson followed her gaze and asked, "How's the ice cream?"

Rachel looked at him, a ring of chocolate around her mouth and even sported on the tip of her nose as she brought the spoon up to her mouth, a gob of chocolate ice cream bigger than the spoon overflowing from it. He chuckled wryly to himself at the fact that the ice cream had coated the whole handle and Rachel's fist was equally covered in chocolate, matching her mug. "Really yummy," she informed him, nodding enthusiastically.

Erika laughed and released her hold on him to go grab a washcloth for when Rachel finished up, setting it down on the table before returning to what she'd been doing.

"Trevor not having ice cream," Rachel then added, as if to console herself that she wasn't with Trevor and her daddy right then.

"No, he's not," Wilson agreed.

"You having ice cream?" Rachel asked next, tilting her head to the side to await his answer while chocolate dribbled from her chin, back into the bowl.

"Not yet," Wilson acknowledged.

"Do you want a bowl?" Erika inquired.

He shook his head. "I'm… not hungry," he settled on saying, dropping his head forward and groaning a second later when she pressed down on a knot in his back.

"Maybe you missed your calling," he muttered under his breath as she worked it out.

She laughed but didn't respond, instead querying, "_He's _going to be okay. Are _you?"_

Wilson nodded.

"I'm done!" Rachel announced, sending her spoon clattering across the table by accident.

Erika picked the washcloth back up and wiped Rachel's mouth and hands before helping her down from the table.

"I can take her back next door," Wilson offered.

"Why don't we both take her?" she suggested.

He nodded and got up, stretching before following her to the door. They walked down the front walk with Rachel between them and Wilson looked up to see House and Trevor directly in front of his house, having completed their walk around the block. Rachel spotted House a moment later and tugged her hands free from theirs to run towards him, shrieking, "Daddy!"

House checked to make sure there weren't any cars coming, just in case, despite the fact that Rachel wouldn't have to cross the street to get to him. Then he focused his attention on his kid, smiling wryly as she launched herself at him and he caught her only slightly unsteadily before lifting her up into his arms. Rachel hugged his neck while Wilson and Erika walked the rest of the way to him. House glanced at Wilson briefly before directing his attention to Erika, not sure what to say to his best friend, nor what Wilson had to say to him. "They all still over at your place?" he asked.

She shook her head. "We were just bringing Rachel home."

"Can we have milk and cookies, daddy?" Rachel interrupted to ask.

"You just had a big bowl of ice cream," Wilson said disbelievingly.

"Me got room for cookies," Rachel replied earnestly.

House chuckled and Erika held up her arm as Trevor came up to her side, leaning his head in against her belly while she wrapped her arm around him.

"You okay?" Wilson hesitantly asked.

House looked up at him and nodded slowly. "How's my mom?" he asked reluctantly.

Wilson looked away but then shrugged. "Still in denial," he muttered.

"I'm going to take Trevor inside," Erika interrupted to say.

"Wait," House said before moving towards her and pursing his lips as he contemplated whether he was really going to do this before he did in fact lean in and press a quick kiss to her cheek. "Thanks Erika," he mumbled. "For… what you said."

"No problem," she replied with a smile, giving his arm a squeeze before she turned around and headed back home with her son.

House turned back to his best friend to find him giving him a pointed look before he sardonically inquired, "Who said you could kiss my girlfriend?"

"Jealous?" House flippantly asked with a smirk.

"Nope," Wilson replied evenly, though the corner of his mouth was up in a half-smile. "I get to kiss her on the mouth."

"Daddy, we go inside?" Rachel asked.

"Not just yet," he responded. "Daddy needs to talk to Uncle Wilson for a minute."

Looking back at his friend he asked, "So, what did you say to my mom?"

Wilson looked at him, chagrined. "How do you know I said _anything _to her?"

"Come on," House muttered. "I know you. You said _something._"

Wilson put a hand on his waist, looking away before mumbling, "I might have implied the time had come to consider those bruises coming directly from John, when she was insane enough to ask what might really have happened that would have made a worse confession in John's mind than an airplane ride gone wrong."

"That's all you said?" House pressed, an eyebrow quirking.

"I might have also said that it was time to question whether he was really the man she thought he was," Wilson added.

"That's _all?_"

Wilson nodded.

"Wow," House replied, "I really thought you'd have let loose on her in the time I'd been gone. Either you care less about me than I thought or something happened to shut you up," House snarked.

Wilson rolled his eyes, relaxing at finding his buddy not as bad off as he'd expected him to be right now. "Cuddy _might _have come in right then and mentioned she was going to head back to the house and your mom _might _have leapt at the opportunity to escape."

House nodded, rubbing his chin purposely against Rachel's head where she lay against his chest, her little hand running through his scruff, causing her to squirm and giggle. "Tuesday?" he said simply then.

Wilson slowly nodded. "Is there anything…?"

House shook his head, cutting Wilson off. "Nope."

Wilson exhaled, his mouth firming. "Sorry, House, for… dragging you to that… _guy's_ funeral," he intoned, clearly having substituted "guy" for a curse word.

"Just because you guys _forced _me to go, doesn't mean I regret going, Wilson," House replied pointedly, shrugging it off. "_Something _good came from it."

Wilson nodded, knowing what House was trying to say, before dryly muttering, "Maybe I should have let you do more to disfigure the guy."

House chuckled. "I'll see you Tuesday," he dryly responded.

"See you House," Wilson agreed before reaching out and tickling Rachel's armpit. "See you Rachel."

"Bye," she merrily declared before tilting her head up to look at her daddy. "Cookies?" she asked hopefully then.

_

* * *

_

Somewhat Earlier

Cuddy slipped into the bathroom at Erika's, shutting the door after her before sinking down in the direction of the cool tile floor, sliding her back down the length of the wall behind her.

Had she really _just heard _for the first time a story from House's childhood that _clearly_ indicated he'd been… _abused?_ Had she _really always thought_ House was making more out of his relationship with his dad, or lack thereof, than was _justifiable?_ They hadn't talked about it in _years, _really. Well, and even way back when… his comments had been interspersed throughout half a million conversations they'd had while in med school all those years ago. He'd _never _given her concrete _reason _to conclude John House had been an abusive bastard, but… hadn't he hinted at it? _Shouldn't _she have guessed? Had she _really allowed herself _to conclude it was all in House's imagination; in actuality a misinterpretation of what had manifested in House's brain as reality, but more than likely, one without any basis on actual fact? Had she _honestly just SAT there, listening, _as the man she _LOVED_ bore testimony to something she suddenly had every suspicion _COULD NOT be explained away, _by Blythe or anyone else? And were things _that bad _between them… _that screwed up _that she had _allowed him _to walk away, _allowed ERIKA _to be the person to chase after him and… do _whatever _Erika had _done, _to… comfort him or… hear him out?!

Cuddy was appalled! She was furious over the atrocities she could only hazard a guess on John House having committed against House as a boy, and at _SIX YEARS OF AGE; furious_ with Blythe and the fact that she apparently had not done _ANYTHING _to _stop him_, was in fact _blind _to _reality;_ _UPSET _that House had never trusted her with _ANY of this_, whether she had a right to be upset or not; but mostly, _mostly _she was kicking herself for never really delving into House's past, for being so in love with him that she'd been absorbed in who he was but not what had made him that way, nor what price he'd paid over the years to be molded into the young, acerbic, pessimistic man she'd known and adored and… practically _worshipped._

Cuddy scrubbed at the tears tracing down her cheeks, trying to keep her breathing in check so that she wouldn't _really lose it_ and in Erika's bathroom of all places. Part of her was grateful that… that Erika had done what Cuddy had been unable to and left in pursuit of him earlier. Another part was jealous in knowing not only had it been Erika House had gone to the night before but now Erika who had gone after House, twice in as many days being the woman to… do or say whatever she'd done or said.

Cuddy had slept… horribly the night before. She'd been frustrated and upset and… her thoughts had run in circles as she tried to think of what she _could say_ to House to… communicate with him the way _he _needed her to. To make him understand her without… _driving him away_. To _steal his heart _the way he'd once stolen hers and somehow managed to keep it, despite the passage of time, the infliction of wounds, despite _everything_.

Finally mopping her tears away, she got to her feet, did the best she could to erase the streaks they'd left behind, blew her nose, and then unlocked the door, heading into the kitchen to inform Erika she was going to head home, readily accepting her offer to bring Rachel back over when she was finished with her ice cream.

Erika had looked at her, studying her, somehow seeming to be able to divide blood and marrow to see right into the guts of Lisa Cuddy. She had somehow managed to sustain the gaze, at least until Erika had reached out and touched her arm lightly before murmuring, "He might not be at a place where he can accept your love, Lisa, but that isn't to say he doesn't want it, deep down inside. Just… love him the best you can and… especially right now, don't give him any reason to believe you think he's any less of a father than the terrific one he is. And, do _me _a favor and forget you heard this from me. Or next time, I won't be able to give you any advice where Greg House is concerned. And I… kinda think I like you and might not mind helping you out here."

She'd broken eye contact for a minute, both bewildered and frankly, _shocked _to have Erika say _anything _like that to her. And when she'd looked up next to find Erika at the opposite end of the room, putting the ice cream back in the freezer, it was so very much as if the moment _hadn't _actually happened that Cuddy questioned whether it _had_. She left the room to go retrieve Evie from Wilson's arms, trying to determine if Erika was friend or foe after having considered her the enemy or… the competition for as long as she'd known of her existence.

-----_**  
**__**"**__**Have you ever loved somebody so much  
It makes you cry?  
Have you ever needed something so bad  
You can't sleep at night?  
Have you ever tried to find the words  
But they don't come out right?  
Have you ever? Have you ever? (Have you ever?)**_

_**Have you ever been in love  
Been in love so bad  
You'd do anything to make them understand?  
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away  
You'd give anything to make them feel the same?  
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart  
But you don't know what to say  
And you don't know where to start?**_

_**Have you ever loved somebody so much  
It makes you cry?  
Have you ever needed something so bad  
You can't sleep at night?  
Have you ever tried to find the words  
But they don't come out right?  
Have you ever? (Have you ever?) Have you ever?**_

_**  
Oh, have you ever found the one  
You've dreamed of all of your life  
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes?  
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to  
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you?  
Have you ever closed your eyes and  
Dreamed that they were there  
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care?**_

_**Have you ever loved somebody so much  
It makes you cry? (Makes you wanna break down and cry)  
Have you ever needed something so bad (so bad)  
You can't sleep at night?  
Have you ever tried to find the words  
But they don't come out right? (Oh)  
Have you ever? Have you ever?**_

_**What do I gotta do to get you in my arms, baby?  
What do I gotta say to get to your heart?  
To make you understand how I need you next to me?  
Gotta get you in my world  
'Cause baby I can't sleep**_

_**Have you ever loved somebody so much  
It makes you cry?  
Have you ever needed something so bad  
You can't sleep at night?  
Have you ever tried to find the words  
But they don't come out right?  
Have you ever?**_

_**Have you ever loved somebody so much  
It makes you cry?  
Have you ever needed something so bad  
You can't sleep at night?  
Have you ever tried to find the words  
But they don't come out right?  
Have you ever? (Have you ever, ever, ever?)**_

_**Have you ever?"**_

* * *

Song: "Have You Ever?" (Brandy)


	84. Save You

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

_

* * *

_

_(Okay, BEFORE you read this chapter I REALLY want to encourage you to go to Youtube and type in "Huddy" and "Save You," then select the video by jaywo75 and watch it first. Because for ME, this is one of my BEST Huddy chapters, along with the next one, and I REALLY want you to get a feel for the song, maybe even listen to it while you read. The only problem is, this chapter starts with the aftermath of last chapter and when you listen to the song, I DON'T want you thinking about Blythe but about Cuddy and House and THEIR past together.)_

* * *

Cuddy just didn't have it in her to stay at Blythe's side when they got home. Instead, while Blythe went into the living room and sat down on the couch, off in her own world, Cuddy grabbed a diaper and some wipes from Evie's room before carrying her upstairs, laying her down on the bed before crawling up on it next to her, stroking the baby's soft skin as she relived all that House had said in the living room at Erika's house. She stripped the baby's clothes off and removed her diaper while Evie grabbed a hold of her foot and popped it in her mouth.

Cuddy smiled softly and lifted the baby's little buns to tuck the diaper under her before finishing up, opting to leave the baby naked except for the diaper until she carried her back downstairs. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with the clothes that Evie had been wearing. It was just that… Cuddy _couldn't _do much to comfort House or _be there for him_, and at the same time, the mother in her wanted to comfort _someone, _to… pour out love upon her own children as if it would make up for whatever their daddy had suffered and endured as a child_._ So she contented herself with stroking Evie's soft skin and pressing kisses to her toes and feet, fingers and hands, legs and arms, belly and face. Evie started cooing loudly, giggling when Cuddy's nose rubbed against her belly or neck, thinking it was all a game and flipping over to try and crawl away, all the while looking back over her shoulder every few inches to see if Cuddy was still playing.

She scooped her daughter up before she could get too far and then cradled her in her arms, pressing kisses to her chubby cheeks. She wondered what it was about being a woman or being a mother that set off this sort of reaction. And her heart swelled to find that Evie actually enjoyed the fuss she was making over her.

Sometime later she heard the sound of Rachel's voice downstairs as she excitedly yelled, "Cookies!" As Cuddy made her way to her bedroom door, she heard the sound of Rachel's feet hitting the hardwood floors as she ran into the kitchen and House's voice from below, instructing Rachel to be careful so that she didn't fall or trip over Monster.

She did not hesitate to head downstairs after that, knowing that House was home and she _could _check on him, if only visually to ascertain he was doing okay. At the foot of the stairs she turned and went into the dining room, finding House in the pantry once she'd entered the kitchen. He looked up at her and the practically naked baby in her arms before lifting an eyebrow and asking, "Accident?"

Cuddy shook her head. "I just changed her but I… kinda just wanted to hold her for a while and feel all her baby soft skin against me," she admitted softly.

House glanced back up to meet her eyes, his own widening slightly before they flashed with recognition of why she might feel that way and he nodded, turning back to the pantry. For a split second something in him had poked him with a sharp stick, trying to jab him into believing she was checking Evie over for bruises he might have put there, but then he forced the thought away, negating it. Cuddy… she wasn't looking at him with eyes of suspicion. He _had _to believe that no matter _what _she might think of him or have thought over the years, even finding him a cold-hearted bastard at times, she _knew _he would do _nothing_ to harm the girls. At least not physically and otherwise, certainly not intentionally.

"Where's my mom?" he asked after a moment, finally having success at removing some cookies from the container he'd been struggling to open.

"In the living room," Cuddy murmured. "You didn't see her when you came in? She didn't… say anything to you?"

He shook his head and stepped around her to head for Rachel who was playing with Monster on the floor nearby.

"Rachel, we've got to wash your hands and then you need to sit at the table if you want your cookies," he said evenly before setting the cookies down to pick her up, heading for the sink with her. Cuddy watched as House soaped Rachel's hands up with almost… excessive gentleness, before rinsing them off and drying them. He carried Rachel over to the table and settled her in her booster seat, taking the time to buckle her in before scooting her chair closer to the table.

"Daddy," Rachel asked, "how many cookies you give me?"

"Two, Rachel," he replied, giving her a look that meant he knew she was trying to work the system. "You've _already _had ice cream."

Rachel gave him a cute little smile but nodded. "Okay," she accepted, reaching out to take them from him when he grabbed them from the counter and headed back her way.

Cuddy turned to reach in the cupboard behind her, silently removing a sippy cup and handing it to House when he pulled out the milk jug from the fridge. He filled it halfway, returned the jug to the fridge, and then gave the cup to Rachel.

Cuddy bit her lip but then took a few steps in his direction. "Are you okay, House?" she softly asked.

"Yep," he replied without inflection, his eyes not wavering from Rachel, who he was watching lick at the creamy center of her Oreos.

She watched him work his jaw a moment before he seemed to force himself to relax, turning in her direction to approach, bending over to press a kiss to Evie's cheek as the baby's hands came up to grab at his face. House caught one of Evie's hands and kissed the center of her palm before he straightened and quietly said, "I should go check on my mother."

Cuddy decided she hated this. She hated the way he was acting mature about this, the way he was pretending, the way he was calm, cool, and collected when she knew he probably just wanted to go somewhere and let off some steam. Or… that's what she thought the House she knew might have done in this situation. But perhaps she was wrong in that assumption. This was _personal_ and House's _personal _reactions could differ tremendously, depending on what the situation was. And then again, maybe he already _had _reacted via an outburst, long ago or… after leaving Erika's house earlier today. She had no way of knowing. She watched him head off through the dining room towards the living room and struggled within herself, trying to figure out what she could do here. What she _should do here. _Or perhaps, what she _shouldn't do._

* * *

House paused in the living room entryway, leaning against the wall as he studied his mother where she sat before him. After a moment she met his gaze and the lost expression hovering over her features struck a chord deep within him. When House had been a child, his dad had oftentimes resorted to using House's emotional attachment to his mother against him, manipulating him into keeping his mouth shut mainly through voicing over and over again how much Blythe would be disappointed in _him _if he told her anything, how she'd never believe _him _since he was obviously a little liar_, _how House would be responsible for her wounds and heartbreak if he _did _come out and try and "turn" Blythe against John or just… open her eyes to see what was going on. He'd remind him how very much Blythe loved him and then use that against House when he could.

Really, House knew that as time went by and he'd gotten older, John had less and less to threaten him with and he'd grown stronger and stronger at limiting how much his dad got to him. There'd never been an instance of sexual abuse, physical abuse had only happened on occasion and then tapered off until it was no more, and really, it had only been the emotional abuse that had continued after the age of ten, as by then, House had _known _how to evade John, mollify him, or fly beneath his radar. And once he'd determined that John _wasn't _his biological father and confronted him on it, honestly, his dad had pretty much ceased paying much if any attention to him, unless it was to criticize. House as a kid had met kids who were better off and kids who were worse off. He couldn't say his circumstances were special because they weren't. Not in the world he lived in.

Looking at his mom though, registering her heartache, confusion, and the doubts flitting about in her eyes, House knew in a way he'd done just what John had always manipulated him _out _of doing. And the guilt tore at him even while part of him recognized that sometimes there was nothing for it but to be honest and out the truth.

Pushing off the wall, he headed for her, sitting down next to her and staring down at the floor between his feet while he waited. He wasn't going to lie. He was done lying. But he wasn't going to spew forth venom and inflict her with what had gone on behind her back.

"He didn't take you to the air show?" she asked tremulously in a whisper.

"No mom," he quietly replied. "He didn't."

Silence descended, so much silence that House thought he could hear her heart beating beside him, and he waited, waited for what John had once told him would happen when he'd been eight or so. He waited for the beating to stop. But it didn't and as a doctor, House _knew _the chances it would just stop right then and there were slim to none. It's just that somewhere inside him, an eight year old had believed that and… still did.

"Where… where did he take you?" she finally formulated her next question.

"You don't need to hear this mom," he voiced honestly. "It doesn't matter anymore and I don't need you to know for my sake. And furthermore, I hardly think it would be good for _your _sake."

She shook her head fiercely and finally, with strength he _hadn't _expected to see her display, stated, "Gregory House, you tell your mother right this instant!"

He raised an eyebrow at her tone and her use of his name, just grateful she hadn't mentioned his middle name, because he'd always _hated _it, which, perhaps she knew and refrained from using _because _of that reason. "Mom," he muttered. "I really don't see the point in this."

"_Tell me_," she practically snarled.

House knew her anger wasn't directed at him but he nevertheless recoiled slightly. Rolling his eyes, he sighed heavily before, without emotion stating, "He took me to that stretch of woods right near where the air show was to be held. There was an old rusting toolshed there that the pilots used to keep stuff in but which hadn't been used in quite some time. He told me that the base was going to demolish it but they hadn't done it yet. Inside was a small utility closet. I think some of the pilots used it on occasion to 'break in' a newcomer. Anyway, dad decided it would be a good way to teach me _not _to go begging to be taken places. He threw me in the closet, I bashed my head against a low shelf, and before I could get back up, the door was locked and he'd left. No one heard me and anyway… I knew better than to really try and draw attention to myself. But I was having a hard time breathing in the stale air inside there. I tried to tear at the doors with my hands and that's how they got rubbed raw. Then I tripped on something and busted my lip. He came back after the show was done and got me. We went home and he decided how my injuries would be explained. I just followed his lead."

House didn't look at her. He didn't tell her how he'd snuck out of the house in the middle of the night a year later and dragged as much cardboard from the trash receptacles at the base as he could for a week straight, right to the toolshed, lighting them on fire finally in an attempt to burn the place down himself. At seven, he'd watched from a distance as the flames licked the cardboard. But the fire had died out without doing much damage at all to the structure itself and he'd felt like a failure in being unable to do the one thing he'd spent a year plotting to accomplish in order to "strike back at the man." BUT, it hadn't been too long after that that base management had found out about the fire and the state of the toolshed. It was probably one of the biggest favors he'd ever believed that base had done for him, the day they ripped that sucker apart and left only a barren stretch of dirt behind.

Glancing at his mom, he noticed how badly she was shaking. He reached out and slowly lowered his hand down, resting it on her shoulder. Trying to think of what she needed to know, he quietly mumbled, "There was no sexual abuse. And physical abuse… it didn't happen _that _often."

Blythe started to sob and at first House wasn't sure if it was because she thought he was lying or if it was… for another reason, but then she turned to him and latched onto his arms, burying her face in his chest and he was incredibly uncomfortable and everything in him urged him to get out while the getting was good _before _he had to see the destruction he'd just wrecked in his mom's life, and yet, he couldn't _go _anywhere. So instead he slowly moved his arm around her and leaned back into the couch, pulling her along with him and letting her cry it out. He decided it was one of the strangest moments he'd _ever _experience, but he'd done this to her and he thought he better be there to get her through it.

Sometime later, after her sobs had died away and all House could really hear were soft snuffling noises, he felt her release him slightly and draw back. She was a mess. He stared at her and that's _all _he could conclude. His mother, who he'd never seen with a hair out of place or without her makeup just so, was a _complete and utter catastrophe._

He waited, not knowing what this all meant or how he was supposed to respond now. But that was when things really became bewildering for him, because he looked on as she got to her feet, pulled herself together, and then calmly left the room. House stared after her. He stared blankly at the spot where he'd last seen her for the next ten minutes. And then she entered the room again and she'd pulled herself back together, her appearance not exactly covering for all that had happened but _generally_ neat and tidied back up. And she came over to him and sat down beside him, patting his knee before collectedly saying, "I think I'm going to head home now. I'll call you tomorrow and let you know I made it, okay?"

House didn't even have the first clue how to respond to that. He just nodded mutely and when she unflappably got back to her feet, he followed her example as if he was a little kid again. House trailed along behind her in his own state of shock as she headed through the house, looking for Cuddy and the girls. She finally spotted them outside and opened the door to step out and then calmly said, "I'm going to be leaving now, Lisa. Rachel, come let grandma hug you."

Rachel quite obediently ran to Blythe and hugged her when she stooped down to give her a noisy kiss on the forehead and embrace the child. Cuddy approached slowly, her eyes not upon Blythe at all but upon House and the look of utter chaos currently crossing his expression as a myriad of different emotions grappled for his attention. When Cuddy reached Blythe, her eyes switched to the woman before her and frankly, she was _seriously _tempted to slap the woman for the smile she gave her, because _who in their right mind _smiled like that after what their son disclosed only hours ago?! Suddenly Cuddy didn't know what she had been _thinking_ to give House his privacy and take the girls and Cookie Monster outside for a while. She didn't know if he'd lied to cover up the past or if he'd poured his heart and soul out. But if he _had _told Blythe what had happened, _THIS was NOT an APPROPRIATE response._

As Blythe reached out and took Evie from her to lift her up in the air before pressing a kiss to her cheek, Cuddy's eyes shifted back to House, whose face was now impassive, only his eyes reflecting any emotion at all. And even there, it was indecipherable. Blythe surprised her by kissing her cheek as well while her eyes were still on House and she wasn't expecting it, before returning Evie to her and turning to head back up the stairs.

House turned and followed her back through the house and Cuddy, helpless to stop herself, followed _him_ with Rachel and the puppy trailing behind. At the front door, Blythe about-faced and reached for House, hugging him for quite some time, the _first _action she'd done so far that Cuddy could at all term somehow as "acceptable" behavior. And then she tugged his head down, pressed a kiss to his cheek, and with that, walked out the door and headed for her car, driving away a minute later.

Cuddy watched as House stood there, staring after his mother long after her car was out of sight. And then finally he dropped his head, stared at the ground and blinked several times before turning and reentering the house, pulling the door shut behind him before stepping around her without saying a word, entering his bedroom, and closing his door as well. She stood there in the middle of the entryway, awash with feelings of helplessness as Rachel looked up at her and asked, "Daddy taking a nap?"

She realized she was gaping at his closed door and finally lowered her eyes to those of her daughter's. "I… I don't… I don't know, Rachel," she admitted honestly, stumbling over her words. "May… Maybe that's what daddy is… doing."

Rachel nodded and ran off into the living room to find some of her toys. Cuddy did not move for several more long moments but then she could bear it no longer and took a few hesitant steps until she stood before House's door. She raised her hand to knock but right as her hand connected with the wood, she heard the water in his bathroom come on, quickly assessed he was filling the bathtub, and lowered her hand to her side before slowly turning and heading back towards the living room intending to wait him out.

* * *

By the time House came out of his room, Cuddy had started preparing dinner. She looked up at him, terribly concerned about him, but he just limped over and took Evie from her arms to free her to continue what she was doing, now with both arms available for her use. She watched, mystified, as he allowed Rachel to drag him off in the direction of the living room, and she wandered in a moment later to see him seated on the piano bench with Rachel on his good leg and Evie held to his chest as he helped Rachel play with her left hand in his. She got that this was perhaps not the best time for talking. She understood that the girls didn't need to hear what had happened. But Cuddy _DID NOT _understand how he was pretending as if _nothing _had happened.

She returned to the kitchen, resolving that they _were _going to talk tonight. Because she _could NOT _handle the silence much longer. Especially when all around, there was _so MUCH_ to say.

* * *

Dinner had been an almost silent affair, even Rachel responding to her daddy's mood and toning her normal chatty Kathy-ness down. House had played with the girls after dinner and Cuddy had cleaned up and _then_ watched House as he played with them. Every minute that passed filled her with greater tension. By the time the girls had both been tucked in bed, she was _ready _for _whatever _was to come. House stayed upstairs in Rachel's room an unusually long time and she went up to check in only to find him perched beside Rachel where she lay, his hand stroking over her little cheek while the toddler slept. Thinking of her own much needed moment with Evie earlier, she didn't interrupt him but just went back downstairs to await him, heading into the kitchen to brew herself some tea.

Ten minutes later House entered the kitchen. "Well, at least _that's _over with," he dryly stated as he walked to the fridge to casually pull out a can of Coke, popping the tab. It was the first thing she'd really heard him say all evening that had actually been directed at her, or which, she could basically _assume _was meant for her. Cuddy heard his words but they weren't at all reassuring.

House turned to look at her, making and maintaining eye contact with her once again for the first time since his mother had left. "You okay?" he asked skeptically, raising an eyebrow at the look she was giving him as Cuddy decided he obviously had no intention of being the one to broach the subject.

She tilted her head to the side and slowly shook it. "House, _please TALK to me_," she pleaded.

"About what?" he said with a careless shrug.

She was going to kill him. She was _LITERALLY _going to _kill him._ Taking a deep breath, she asked, "House, what… what did your mother _say?_"

"About earlier?" he calmly inquired, taking another sip of pop. "Nothing."

"What do you mean, _'nothing'?_" she pressed.

House looked away. He'd sat in the bathtub massaging his leg for over an hour before he'd finally realized he was cold and climbed out. He'd tried and tried and tried to muddle through the puzzle that was his mother. But he had _no answers._ Not for himself and not for Cuddy either.

He shrugged, taking another drink of Coke. In a way, he'd decided that to a certain extent, he was _obligated _to maybe say… something to Cuddy. He was after all claiming for all rights and purposes to be Rachel's daddy and that gave her the right to know… some things, he supposed. But the problem was that he wasn't really interested in disclosing information to her, and especially not after what had happened with his mother. Clearing his throat he begrudgingly managed to say, "She asked me about what really happened that day. I told her."

Cuddy both _wanted_ to know what had happened to House and _feared_ knowing. Uncertain if she could ask him, she instead inquired, "What… what did she say to you then?"

"She didn't say anything. She just cried. Then she went to the bathroom, put herself back together, and… left," he answered honestly with another casual shrug.

Cuddy tossed her head about slowly, grappling for some modicum of a sensible response, but there was _NO _sensible response to give him.

"House," she brokenly murmured, reaching for him.

But he stepped back, shaking his head. "Don't, Cuddy," he coolly stated, not rudely but without emotion. "Don't touch me. There's no need to. I'm fine. This isn't a big deal. It's over and done with. I told her. She gets to decide how to respond. It's out of my hands. What happened, happened. And now it's in the past. I'm moving on."

Cuddy took another step in his direction, her eyes filling with tears for what he must be going through. "I _want _to touch you," she mumbled. "I _need _to."

"No you don't," he quickly replied, still impassive. "You don't _need _to. I don't need or want your pity. I'm fine."

"It's not _pity _I'm offering you, House," she tearfully responded. "It's a _host_ of things but pity isn't among them. _Please_. _Please_ let me hold you. _Please _let me love you. _Please just ACCEPT my love._"

House's heart clenched in reaction to her words and for the first time since he'd watched his mother drive away, he really _FELT something_. Only, it wasn't _good _and it hurt him more than the neutrality he'd been maintaining since his mother's departure had any potential to. Cuddy having the audacity to _ask_ him to just "_accept her love_" was beyond what House could take and he snapped in response. "You don't _GET_ to _ASK_ me to _ACCEPT _your _love_, Cuddy!" he angrily protested in disgust. "I _gave you _my heart and you… you _tossed _my love away. You _broke_ it! You _smashed _it to pieces! The _LAST _thing I should be doing is _ACCEPTING LOVE_ from you!"

Cuddy stared at him, stricken, but this was genuinely the first reaction she'd provoked from him in a day of plain awfulness. The _LAST _thing she wanted was for House to… become cold or turn his feelings inward. If he was _FINALLY _opening up to her, she'd give him what he needed to do so. She also thought of all the times she'd longed to have this out with him and something inside of her forced her to say, "You're not the only one who's had their heart broken," staring at him with eyes full of pain.

It took him a minute to react but then his expression reflected his disbelief. "Ha," House scoffed defensively before looking away, his protective armor locking into place.

Cuddy straightened, drawing her own inner strength together for this confrontation while brushing her hair away from her face to tuck it with one finger behind her ear before she softly yet sternly said, "You left me first House."

"Wha…" he began, his head moving around as if it was going to take off into orbit due to his incredulity. She could not be _serious!_ She had _told him _to leave her at the hospital after Evie was born. Unless she was talking about… How… how could she place blame upon him for that?! He'd had_ no other_ _choice_ but to go to Mayfield! And… and she had made her feelings about him and their chance at a future together _very clear!_ Both _before_ and _after_. If she hadn't meant what she'd said, she would have _waited _for his return! But she _hadn't._ She'd moved on. She… hadn't even hesitated to do so. She'd moved on so fast it made his head spin and his chest ache. He looked at her, anger washing over him. He'd left her first?! Where did she even get off?!

House's reaction caused her to flounder for a moment. But if Cuddy was going to be vulnerable, she wasn't going to do it halfway. Not when there was so much at stake here. "You left me. You left ME, House."

His mother forgotten, he stared at her, anger mounting, ultimately managing to spit out semi-evenly, "I don't know what you're talking about. You _blame _me for having to go to a psych hospital?! You think I _wanted _to leave?! You and I… we weren't even _together. Remember?!_ Remember those final moments between us?! You were the one who told me that we never _could _be together."

"That's not what I'm talking about," she quickly cut him off to say, unable to face that part of the conversation right now. She needed him to be at a place where he _might actually _stay long enough to hear her out. "Before that. _Long_ before that, you left _me_."

"Cuddy, I have no idea what you are talking about," he began, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides unbeknownst to him.

Cuddy interrupted, her arms locking around herself in a hug as she locked eyes with him. "YOU sought me out in med school. YOU were the one to knock my books out of my hands. YOU wouldn't let me walk away until you knew my name. YOU followed me around, intent on getting my attention. YOU showed up on the tennis court where I was playing. YOU wouldn't quit bugging me until I agreed to play against you. YOU suggested we compete against other people as a team. YOU asked me out for a drink. YOU made sure we kept running into each other." She paused, watching his anger diffuse in time to be replaced by confusion and then an awareness of just what event of the past she was digging up, while she made certain he was really listening before continuing. "YOU distracted me in Endocrinology with your wit, sarcasm, and charm. YOU brought me to the point of being _so wrapped up in you_ that I couldn't stand the thought of _not_ dragging you with me for Christmas break in order to avoid spending a couple dreary weeks without you. YOU, with your charisma, sex appeal, and breathtaking blue eyes turned me into a little puppy dog, following you around so that I couldn't concentrate on school and found myself chasing down to your Lacrosse games, just in hopes of adoring you from the bleachers and if I was truly lucky, stealing a few more minutes with you, firmly planted by your side. YOU would distract me from homework, essays, and studying sessions to go for rides on your motorcycle until I was so caught up in you that my cravings went from proving myself to the world to _obsessively_ wanting to be with you _any and every chance I got_. YOU kissed me that day on the lawn, making my heart pound so hard in my chest I thought I'd have a coronary right there, but at least I'd die with your taste on my lips and in that moment, _that_ would have _satisfied_ me. YOU kidnapped me during Spring Break and carried me off to Georgia on the back of your motorcycle, pressed up against your back as if I'd never let go, my hands burrowed into your shirt because I _desperately needed to touch you every chance I had_. YOU slow-danced with me on the boardwalk, encircling me with all that you already meant to me. YOU wooed me under the stars, pointing out all the constellations and teaching me the history of how and for what they'd been named. YOU wasted several tubes of my lipsticks by writing messages in code for me to decipher and drawing pictures of the professors we students loved to hate and all the medical procedures we'd like to see them undergo, to entertain me on my bathroom mirror all summer long. YOU invested a year in pursuing me, in bringing me from a point where I _knew_ _better_ than to get involved with you to a point where I _couldn't_ _imagine_ living an hour without breathing the same oxygen as you. YOU _drove me crazy_ with your kisses and your touch until my resolve did not just crumble but was obliterated by the overwhelming need to experience the fullness of your desire for me and give myself completely to you. And YOU walked away once you'd gotten what you wanted from me all along. YOU got kicked out of school and left without even coming to say goodbye. YOU shattered _MY_ heart," she concluded, never breaking eye contact, her eyes glistening with tears.

Silence descended between them as she finally paused long enough for House to process all that she was saying and implying, whether it was accurate or not. After several minutes he looked away from her and then met her gaze once again after releasing a pent-up breath. His shoulders fell and he mumbled, "Cuddy, I…"

But she interrupted, a hand up to stop him. "I don't want to hear your excuses," she informed him soberly, shaking her head. "It doesn't matter anymore. Right now I just want you to recognize that _YOU_ broke _MY_ heart _first_."

House looked down at the floor and slowly nodded, recognizing that maybe if he hadn't walked away way back when, things might have been different for both of them. He… he couldn't say he'd change it if he had the opportunity, not when changing that would undoubtedly have altered everything, whether or not they'd made it work had he stayed. He couldn't visualize a world without Rachel or Evie, even if it would have spared them both pain that was clearly still in existence for both of them. And how could they have made it work anyway, as his fears hadn't been groundless but quite justified? What was supposed to have been a second chance for them, only led to further heartbreak, at least for him. Yet House couldn't deny that he'd left and… hurt her in doing so, especially after all she'd just said. Cuddy said it didn't matter anymore. She didn't even care to hear an explanation. Maybe that was for the best. Maybe there was really no point in trying to explain his actions from the past to her now. She'd thought the worst of him all on her own and while he knew that was reasonable, it still hurt. She could think what she want. It was probably better that way.

Cuddy sighed heavily and softly continued, "House, when you left me, with _no_ explanation _at all_, you crippled me. And it took me a long time to get over that. I can't even say that I did. Those first few weeks, I felt like I was barely _surviving_. I managed to drag myself to class because it was the only thing I had left. I saw you everywhere; I heard you everywhere. You weren't there at all but you had become _everything_ to me. Finally the time came when I moved on as best I could. I became intent upon my classes. Partied when I had opportunity. Dated and slept with random guys in an attempt to erase the memory of you. And then once I graduated I put everything into my career."

Cuddy finally had opportunity to explain herself to him and she wasn't about to stop with what had happened in med school. She was going to press onward until she ran out of words to say or House cut her off. Fearing the second was more likely, she rushed to continue. "Suddenly you came back into my life and you were with Stacy. Even as much as you had hurt me, you were still my first; the first to hold my heart in his hands and the first man I gave myself to, holding nothing back. And then you were in pain, suffering, lacking answers as to what was physically wrong with you. I put aside any and everything that made me want to send you away in order to protect myself from you and memories of our past, so that I could _help_ you when you asked me to. I had long ago accepted that what we had was over and done with. But that didn't mean I felt nothing at seeing you again. And it was clear that Stacy was your present. When she came to me as your medical proxy, I wanted to do right by you; I wanted to respect your decision. But I also wanted to save your life. I… you were a part of me I still wanted… _needed_ to save. You pushed Stacy away afterwards, but I couldn't walk away as easily. I hired you because I _believed_ in you and because you needed the job. But mostly, I hired you because I… needed you close by. I… couldn't let you walk out of my life once more," she acknowledged, looking into his eyes a moment, her own eyes swirling with emotions that House couldn't even begin to decipher. "I didn't know that was my reason at the time. But it's nevertheless true."

House stared at her, unable to respond, not having the words to do so.

"However," Cuddy commenced once more, an eyebrow lifted in vague irritation with all she had yet to tell him as her tension eased a degree as he hadn't moved to stop her explanation so far. "That isn't to say I didn't have walls erected to keep you at a distance. Still, it worked for us because we had a history and understood each other in a way no one else could have. We spent years then in renewing a friendship of sorts, albeit we were also occupied with negotiating a business relationship, as unprofessional as it might have been, along with plenty of fighting, foreplay, and banter thrown in along the way. You say you've changed. Well, back then, I had too. I was a different person in a lot of respects. I was _not_ the girl I'd been while with you."

"You'd slept with a lot more people by that time," House threw in, finally finding his voice and unable to stop himself from trying to… well, he wasn't sure _what _he was trying to do. Maybe he was trying to lighten the tone she'd set or… cover up how hard it was to hear her confession of how she'd viewed the past and what she'd done with it.

Cuddy gave him a pointed look, somewhat acknowledged the truth of that with a lift of her shoulder but then pursed her lips before ignoring his comment and stating, "I was _even more driven_ to succeed. Everything else in my life was on hold in those years between when you left me and when you reentered my life. I was too occupied with climbing the ladder of corporate success. By the time I really started to think about finding someone to settle down with, you were back in my life and all too ready to chase anyone off. You were a pain in the ass. _You drove me crazy_. Because you didn't _want_ me, but you didn't want anyone else to have me either," she pronounced, eyeing him with aggravation.

"That's not true," House mumbled, his lips barely moving.

But Cuddy heard him. "House, of course it's true! You wouldn't have chased them away if you wanted me to find happiness," she argued, her eyebrows knitted on her forehead and accompanied with a skeptical glare. "You interrupted my dates, made excuses to come to my house and ruin them, and embarrassed me by saying inappropriate things in front of them, whether or not they understood. The _last _thing you wanted was for me to be _happy_ and in a relationship."

House shook his head. "That's not what I meant," he said quietly. "I meant that I _did_ want you. I just wasn't ready, nor did I know how to pursue you anymore. And why would I have even thought I stood a chance and deserved to ask you to give me one when I walked away before? Why would I think you'd grant me one?"

Cuddy sighed heavily, her eyes sad. She didn't have an answer for that. But she did know that she'd later given him an opportunity and he hadn't taken it. "House, after that patient with the gun took over my office and locked himself in with you, Thirteen, and a slew of patients from the clinic, I _tried_. I practically _forced_ myself upon you by moving into your office with you. But when I finally sacrificed my pride and made my feelings clear to you, expressing that I wanted to be with you by saying that everyone expected what we had between us to go somewhere and telling you that that was when we were supposed to kiss, you basically _mocked_ me. You _didn't want me!_" she declared, wounded. "You just wanted to mess with me some more."

Cuddy looked away, trying to blink back the tears that had come to her eyes.

House watched her sorrowfully and then cleared his throat of emotion before mumbling, "Cuddy, you hadn't been that open to me in twenty years. I… wasn't expecting it. I didn't know how to handle it anymore. Banter was easy to relate through. Honesty… wasn't. So I screwed up. But it wasn't that I didn't want you. I… I mean, I sent for your desk and had it refurbished for you and everything. I don't know why you think I did that, but… it wasn't just my apology for what had happened. I wanted you to understand that I had never stopped… thinking about you. In all that time, I never stopped thinking about you," he repeated almost inaudibly, staring at his feet now. There was one more item he could tell her about the desk but he wasn't going to share that _now, _after all that had happened. He thought he was being plenty open as it was and certainly more vulnerable than he had any business being.

Cuddy stared at him uncertainly. She wasn't sure what to make of him right now but she _didn't _see how what he was saying made any logical sense at all, considering the circumstances. "House, I went up to your office after I found the desk. I…" Cuddy paused, shaking her head and sending her loose curls fluttering about her shoulders. "You were in there _with another woman!_ She had her hands _all over you!_ You can't tell me that you wanted me because you wouldn't have been _with her_ if you had. Once again, I was… _hurt_."

"Cuddy…" he started to say, wanting to explain even if he really didn't see what point any of this conversation could accomplish, outside of maybe clearing the air. "She was just someone I hired to teach Taub and Kutner a lesson because of their internet site using my name. I… _Nothing happened_ between us. She might have touched my jacket, but she certainly didn't have her hands _all over me,_" he disagreed, rolling his eyes at her exaggeration.

She stared at him, trying to determine the truth written within his eyes. Finally she nodded before forlornly murmuring, "In any case, you never did anything to pursue me. And I was done."

"I went to your house," he admitted reluctantly, looking away. "I was going to… But you were sitting in your living room, sipping tea, and you were relaxed and I realized that you… didn't need me. I… didn't do that for you. You deserved to be able to go home and unwind like you were doing right then and I decided I'd only bring upheaval to your life and you were better off without me and the stress I'd bring you. I'd only add further complication to your life. So I turned around and left."

Cuddy needed time to mull that news over. She bit her lip to contain her emotional reaction to hearing he'd intended to make a move, even as she grew frustrated that he'd chickened out. Whatever he saw and concluded, well, maybe he _would _have brought upheaval to her life, more than he already had, but oh, how she'd _longed _for a relationship with him and how it would have compensated for such upheaval as dating House would clearly have promised! She had _wanted _his complications! Trying to get herself back on track she repeated, "You didn't act and I was done. Then, I was going to adopt and when it fell through, you came to my house and kissed me. It was… the _best _kiss I'd had in twenty years!" she confessed, willing to give him that acknowledgement of what that kiss had really meant to her, as conflicted and afraid as she'd been afterwards. "The best kiss I'd had since the last time you'd kissed me! And it scared me and thrilled me all at the same time. But again, you walked away…"

"I _wasn't _going to take advantage of you, Cuddy," he cut her off to forcefully interject. "You were at your lowest in that moment and I wasn't going to read more into how you kissed me back than I had any business doing, nor was I going to wake up in the morning to find out all I was to you amounted to a simple roll in the hay permitting you to burn off some of your pain. And when you came in the next morning and sought me out, the fact that it went nowhere, well… You were just as much at fault for that as I was. I might have been reluctant to talk about it, especially if I had to hear you tell me it meant nothing to you, but you could have said something. Instead you made it clear that I was right and it _didn't_ mean anything to you. So I can't _accept _you trying to tell me now that kiss meant more to you than it did. That's crap."

"It _did _mean something to me House," she counter-argued. "I just didn't have the first clue that it meant anything to you and I wasn't going to be the one hanging myself out there that time, after you'd rejected me the time before."

He gave her a sharp look but she bit her lip and then murmured, "So we both just agreed to forget about it, pretending it didn't happen."

House looked at her, frowning, but then his mouth twitched before he glanced away, clearly ready to just declare the conversation over with. Cuddy rushed to continue before he could walk off. "I adopted Rachel and you were… _impossible_ about it."

"I wasn't _impossible,_" House corrected in irritation, his eyes coming back to meet hers. "I was the same as I'd ever been."

"You talked about her like she was a mangy dog I'd taken home from the pound," Cuddy argued, clearly offended by this still.

"I wished you a Merry Christmas. Something I never do with anyone. And when you came to my office, I held her, even though she puked formula all over me," he pointed out.

"House," Cuddy began with a groan. "_You didn't want me to adopt her_. You wanted me to _fail_ so that you could have me be just as _miserable_ as you were."

House shook his head adamantly. After a moment he muttered, "I never wanted you miserable Cuddy. You have _no idea_ how much thought I gave at times to _not_ making you miserable. And as for Rachel, I just wasn't going to let you… forget about me. You were moving on without me and… I didn't want that."

Her expression softened but House was ready to be done with this conversation. He'd already said more than he'd had any intention of sharing with her. In the end it wasn't going to change anything. Things were over for them. There was no going back. There was just moving on. He'd never be capable of giving her what she needed and so why rehash the past any more than they'd already done?

Before she could say anything, with an edge to his voice he said, "None of this _matters_. It's _over_. You _found_ someone else and were doing just _great_ without me until I…"

"House, you're an idiot!" she declared hotly, angry with him now that he wanted to shut down on her. "Quit being an ass and listen to me!"

House raised an eyebrow and then set his jaw and plainly stated, "Don't yell at me Cuddy. The girls are asleep. And don't forget. You're a guest here. This is _my_ house and I can kick you out at _any_ time. If I wanted you to curse and insult me, I'd still be at PPTH."

Cuddy was caught off-guard by his words and stepped back, not knowing what to say to him after that.

House saw it as an opportunity and stared at her only a second longer before turning to walk away.

But Cuddy wasn't about to let him go anywhere. She took a couple quick steps and grabbed his arm, determined to see this through and for once, not back down. "_No,_" she said firmly. "You _aren't_ going to walk away from me yet. You're _going _to hear me out."

House turned back to her, his expression icy, but Cuddy knew she only had a second to rush on or he'd shut her down. She wasn't going to waste time or lose out on this chance when it might be the only one she received.

She released his arm and went back to what he'd first thought she was referring to, somewhat reluctantly confessing, "When everything happened and you went to Mayfield, I… I didn't know how to deal with that. I… House, do you have _any_ idea how many times I've almost _lost_ you?! I don't mean just in you walking away while we were at med school. I mean _ALL_ those times when I had to question whether you'd still be around tomorrow. If I was fearful for you during the infarction, compound that one hundred times and you _might_ have an inkling of how you've scared me over the years. Forget the infarction because it only got _worse_! House, I have _never_ worried about anyone the way you worried me in the years that followed. You took _crazy_ chances. You _constantly_ leaned towards self-destructive tendencies. You got yourself _shot_. You stuck a _knife_ in an _outlet_. You had your heart _stop_ from trying methadone. You _abused _Vicodin. You_ abused _alcohol. You _mixed_ the two. You almost got locked away for 10+ years with the Tritter situation. You could have been _killed_ by that crazy patient who took you hostage and even when you had the chance to defuse the whole situation, you put the gun right back _in his hands_. You were in a bus crash and suffered a concussion. You passed out hours later in a bathtub because your skull was fractured and OD'd on Alzheimer drugs trying to stimulate your brain shortly after that. Your heart stopped again and Wilson and I had to do _CPR_ to _bring you back_. Then without any concern for your life, you _decided _to undergo _deep brain stimulation!_ You had a complex partial seizure which widened your skull fracture and caused a brain bleed!"

"What is your point?" House interrupted, disgruntled that she was bringing all this up.

Cuddy reached for him and placed her right hand on his chest directly over his heart, seeking the comfort of feeling his heartbeat against her palm after having to list off how many times she might never have heard it or felt it beat again. "House," she whispered, her eyes locked with his. "I had _no idea_ how much _you meant to me_ until that moment. Because honestly, I have _NEVER_ found myself at someone's bedside _pleading_ with God to just bring them back to me safely as I did that night. In all those years, while I might have been worried, I _NEVER_ allowed myself to _hover over you_ like I did after the bus crash. I told myself you were _just_ an employee. But… you _never_ were. That was just a lie I told myself to not have to acknowledge that I'd never gotten over you and didn't even want to anymore."

House pursed his lips and then removed her hand from his chest, not buying it. She wouldn't have been with Lucas if that was true. If she had loved him, truly _loved_ him, and to _that_ extent, she never would have been capable of moving on so easily in the brief time he'd been gone. Not when she hadn't done it in the twenty plus years that had passed since med school. "You chose someone else, Cuddy. In the end, that's what it all boils down to. You _could_ have had me. I came back from Mayfield and you were all I wanted. That and my life back. But you didn't _want me_. You wanted _someone else_; someone who apparently did things for you that I never did and who made you feel more than you ever felt with me. You were the one who said you'd never been happy with me. That's what you said at the conference. But _someone else_ made you happy. So don't go lying to me and telling me this garbage when it's only too obvious I meant _nothing _to you."

Without warning, tears began streaking down her cheeks and she choked back a sob. She had a hard time even speaking but finally managed to brokenly say, "House, that day in my office after you'd announced to the hospital that we'd had sex, when I was so _angry_ with you… When I realized that you weren't okay… When Wilson took you to Mayfield…"

Her words were choppy but House was so caught off-guard by the tears and her open misery _over this _that he couldn't do anything except stand there and watch her, straining to understand her despite the moments when her words were more chokes and moans than the stringing together of decipherable vowels and consonants. His anger melted and his head was overruled temporarily as his heart responded to her grief.

"When I left you with Wilson, there was still _so much_ I didn't know or understand," she gasped out, her lips quivering as her eyes poured forth an ocean of tears. She swallowed hard before continuing. "I went home and got ready for Cameron and Chase's wedding and with _everything inside me_, I _TRIED_ to just do everything I could to hold it together and not break down. I _didn't even know_ what we were up against. I only knew that things were bad and the future unforeseeable. You had stared at me in my office so… _brokenly_. You were so _lost_. And I _didn't _know how to _find_ you. I _couldn't _lead you out of the maze you'd found yourself lost in the middle of. I _didn't even know _what had _happened_."

"_Cuddy, don't…_" House begged, shaking his head, his own emotions now at the surface. His anger was a refuge. His pain and impending exposure were not. Instead they were comparable to walking on broken shards of glass. Each step increased the excruciating agony he would now be forced into enduring. He didn't want to have her see him, really _see _him and how broken he was any more than he wanted to witness her grief and see her break. "_Don't_ talk about it if it upsets you like this," he finished.

But Cuddy couldn't stop now. "I was late to the wedding. Because in the end, I _couldn't _keep you out of my thoughts, _despite_ how hard I _tried._ I got lost on the way there, taking one wrong turn after another. I felt as lost as I imagined you to be, but not because of being physically lost. I was lost as to what I was _supposed _to do about you. I… I sat there during the ceremony and I was… _horrified._ There I sat at this symbolic event in their lives, watching them commit their futures to one another, and I couldn't _wrap my head around_ how the world was just continuing as it had been when _your_ world was at a _standstill._ I _knew_ Wilson intended to get you help, but I didn't know how long it would take for you to be restored to your old life, nor if you'd _ever_ be the same. And selfishly, I was _terrified_ of what that meant _for me_. _Because I didn't want to live without you in my life_. I _wanted_ to be there with you. I _wanted_… to _save_ you. But I felt so _incompetent_ and like I'd _missed all the signs _that would have allowed me to save you sooner. And when I called Wilson that night and found out where exactly he'd taken you, along with a rundown of what had happened over the course of the past few weeks, what you'd been _dealing_ with and I'd _blindly _failed to notice… I… _couldn't_ even _name_ the emotions I was experiencing. It was all too much for me. I just… _sobbed_ until I was so _exhausted_ that I succumbed to sleep."

"Cuddy," House managed to unlock his throat enough to whisper. "_Don't_ talk about it. _Don't_ go back there. It's in the past. There's no reason to…"

Cuddy reached up and pressed two of her fingers to his lips, leaving them there, her next words chilling him as they struck so close to his own thoughts right now. "I… didn't _see_ you, House. That night you came to me… You said what you did about Rachel and I was _so hurt_ that I was _blind _to how you _needed_ me. Do you think for a _moment_ I didn't_ wish_ I had _stayed?! _Do you _think_ after hearing from Wilson what you thought had happened I didn't _wish _with _everything in me_ that it _had?!_ Do you think I _wouldn't _have gone home with you, that I _wouldn't_ have _wanted_ to be at your side while you detox'd?! House, I called Mayfield the next day. They told me I couldn't come because you were detoxing and visitors weren't allowed, regardless of whether or not I was a doctor. Do you think I don't _wish even now_ that _I had been there_ and that we _had _made love exactly like you thought we had?! I _wanted _to save you, House," Cuddy murmured through her tears. "I _desperately_ wanted to! But I _couldn't! _And _all_ I could think about was _how many _chances I'd probably had to _make a difference_ and I'd _squandered every one!_ You _needed_ me and I _turned away!_ I let you down when I was _supposed _to be there for you! And I have _paid _for that. Oh, _how_ I've _PAID_ for _that!_" she cried despairingly, using her left arm to wipe hastily at her runny nose unconsciously and removing her fingers from his lips to clear her vision of the tears blocking her ability to see him properly now. "House, I _messed up_ then. But _I'm not going anywhere now._ I'm _here_. And I _won't_ mess this up. I'm _not_ _turning my back_ on you and I'm _not walking away ever again._ _Even_ if you'll _never_ let me close, even if you'll _never_ forgive me… I'm going to do _everything_ I can to make things _alright_ between us and _prove to you_ that _I love you_ with _all_ that is _within me_."

-----

"_**I can tell, I can tell  
How much you hate this  
Deep down inside  
You know it's killing me  
I can call, wish you well  
And try to change this  
But nothing I can say  
Would change anything**_

_**Where were my senses?  
I left them all behind  
Why did I turn away?  
Away**_

_**I wish I could save you  
I wish I could say to you  
I'm not going nowhere  
I wish I could say to you  
It's gonna be alright  
It's gonna be alright**_

_**I didn't mean, didn't mean  
To leave you stranded  
Went away 'cause I  
Didn't want to face the truth  
Reaching out  
Reach for me  
Empty handed  
You don't know if I care  
You're trying to find the proof**_

_**There were times I'd wonder  
Could I have eased your pain?  
Why did I turn away?  
Away**_

_**I wish I could save you  
I wish I could say to you  
I'm not going nowhere  
I wish I could say to you  
It's gonna be alright  
It's gonna be alright**_

_**Save you  
It's gonna be alright**_

_**Wish I could save you**_

_**We can pretend nothing's changed  
Pretend it's all the same  
And there will be no pain  
Tonight**_

_**It's gonna be alright**_

_**It's gonna be alright**_

_**It's gonna be alright**_

_**Save you**_

_**It's gonna be alright**_

_**I wish I could save you**_

_**I'm not going nowhere**_

_**I wish I could say it to you**_

_**It's gonna be alright**_

_**It's gonna be alright**_

_**It's gonna be alright**_

_**Save you (It's gonna be alright)**_

_**I wish I could save you (It's gonna be alright)"**_

* * *

Song: "Save You" (Kelly Clarkson)


	85. Edge Of Desire

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Same general footnote for this chapter!!! Please, please, please go to Youtube and type in "Huddy" and "Edge of Desire," selecting the video by Octoberx2 and watch it first. Then listen to the song while you read. Last chapter was inspired by and focused on Cuddy. This one is all House. And I dedicate this chapter to DIYD09 because when she gave me the song, I fell in love with it and immediately skipped way, way ahead to write this chapter and the one that precedes it because I couldn't NOT write it right away! Thank you!)_

_(Man, it's late! Who knew three chapters would be so much work to put up?! Okay, don't expect a new chapter for at least a few days. I haven't begun to write the next one yet! Oh!! And PLEASE review! Especially those of you who have been DESPERATELY WAITING for SOME SORT of BREAKTHROUGH to come!)_

* * *

House stared at Cuddy, feeling like his heart had stopped beating in his chest. For a moment he allowed himself to be clinical and take her appearance in. Her eyes and nose were red and blotchy from crying, her cheeks pink and streaked with tears. And she was in dire need of a Kleenex. This wasn't a cute, sweet storm of tears over a sad movie or a friend's painful experience but the kind of crying that undid a person and made them feel ugly afterwards. It was gut-wrenching and cut to the bone, even for the observer. Her chest was still jerking slightly with the force of her sobs and while her shoulders had fallen during her explanation of how she had felt while he was in Mayfield, she'd managed to draw them up when swearing she wasn't going to go anywhere. House heard every word she said and he desperately wanted to believe her, but he just didn't think he could anymore.

"When I came back, you'd forgotten me," he whispered, his ability to speak all but gone. The clinical mask had fallen and left behind it a man worn down by crushing defeat, stinging rejection, and etched by extensive torture, his expression one of raw pain and his eyes full of pooling misery. He felt moisture leak from his eye and hastily used the outside of his wrist to scrub a lone tear from his face, unable to bear the emotion it contained and exposed.

Cuddy choked on a sob and moistened her lips, salty from her tears as she raked her eyes over his beloved face before trying to explain. "When I went into work the next Monday, I had to deal with the Board of Directors due to what you'd said and due to your absence. But even when I did my best to account for the situation without violating your privacy, I still had to deal with people's skepticism, not just from the Board but from the crowd who had been present for your declaration, along with those who had heard about what had happened. The fact that I'd been clearly upset with you and been overheard to have fired you only made the rumors grow exponentially. And I couldn't talk to you about _any_ of it. I had to deal with it _all on my own._ Wilson was too busy trying to hold it together, being that he had no better idea than I did what was going to happen to you and you were his best friend. I didn't feel right about putting my struggles on his shoulders as well. I… I'm _so _sorry, House!" she wept, sniffing continuously. "I just… By the end of the week I was so _emotionally drained_ that I couldn't deal with it anymore. I just needed to come to terms with reality. And _for me_, in that moment, _reality_ was that I couldn't keep wishing for things that would never be. You and I… We'd had our chance to make things work. And I foolishly thought that if we hadn't been able to make a go of it when things were _less_ complicated, there was no chance at all we'd be _successful_ at a relationship in the future. I shoved all my feelings for you to the side, burying them, just looking at the bleak reality of our situation. And it didn't look good for us. I… I gave up. I swore I'd make sure you had a place at PPTH when you were able to return. But I thought I was only lying to myself in believing you and I could ever be together."

House looked down at the floor and nodded, releasing a breath as he valiantly struggled to keep the tears that wanted to escape from reflecting in his eyes. "And then you forgot me… But now I've come around to the point where I agree with you," he finally replied, meeting her eyes somberly. "We'll never be together."

Cuddy felt physically ill at his words, her stomach plummeting within her. She _couldn't _have come this far to walk away without gaining anything for all she'd admitted. She _couldn't _allow him to decide it changed _nothing._ She shook her head, her eyes pleading with him. "I _didn't_ forget you, House," she contested.

"You did," he muttered stoically. "In a matter of weeks you'd moved on to loving someone else. Maybe… you did feel _something_ for me in the days before Mayfield. But it wasn't love Cuddy because no one moves on that quickly if they genuinely feel emotions as strong as the ones you're claiming to have felt. Not that it… well, it doesn't matter now."

"House, Lucas was…" she began, wanting desperately to make him understand.

"_Don't!_" House growled, his hand raising level with his chest as he took a step back. "_Don't_ talk to me about_ him! Don't_ _EVER_ _say _his name around me and _don't _talk about what you felt for him! Not with me!"

Cuddy completely gave up trying to control the tears streaming down her face. She reached out for him but he took another step back and in the direction of the dining room. "House, he's in the past!" she cried. "But you're my _past, present, AND future!_"

He shook his head, scrubbing a hand over his eyes to make sure he wasn't allowing her to see his brokenness anymore than he already had. "When I found out you were seeing him, I told myself you would end it eventually," House informed her quietly, his tone flat and without inflection. "And then you'd come back to me. We always seemed to come back to one another. I reminded myself that was how our relationship worked."

Cuddy stared at him, seeing his haggard expression and wounded eyes. It made her chest ache to the point where it no longer seemed bearable. "House, then you were _right._ I'm _here,_" she tried to persuade.

House closed his eyes for a moment as if in physical pain and when he reopened them she saw they were swimming with tears much as her own were. "But the other part of that equation is you'll _always_ leave. And I _can't_ do it anymore. I… _can't._"

"House, I _won't! _I _promise_ you I won't!" she vowed, crying in earnest.

"I was there for you," House began softly. "When Lucas left… Well, maybe that was partly my fault. But when you were pregnant… I was _there_. And you _didn't_ want me. I _heard_ you on the phone to him. I _heard_ you say that I would _never mean anything to you._ That _whatever _you _felt for me_ was _over_. _Done._ _You_… you, _Lisa Cuddy_, uttered those _exact_ words with me standing there like an _idiot_ in your doorway behind you, hoping beyond reason that I could _convince_ you to let me _love_ you the way I _wanted_ to, the way I _hoped_ to show you I was _capable_ of. I was _prepared _to do _whatever _it took to love you _however _you wanted to be loved. I _wanted_ to take another risk on you, Cuddy. I _wanted _to _prove_ to you that I wasn't just capable of ruining your life, as you'd accused me of, but actually _able _to be whatever you wanted me to be. I _wanted_ to stick myself _out there_ and see if _maybe_ you'd be willing to just give me _that much_. Just one chance to be everything you _needed and wanted_. But I _can't_ anymore. I _can't_ take _any_ more risks. You made it clear on the phone that day just how you felt about me. _Not wanting me_ has now become a recurrent theme with you, just as much as wanting me when you have no one else, is. And then even after that, you wanted me to have sex with you. Cuddy, that first time, I didn't _just_ have sex with you. I _made love_ to you. _I poured ALL of myself into you!_ I shared every single stupid thought I had with you while I gave you all I had within me to give. And _whose_ name was on _your_ lips when I brought you to orgasm? I'll tell you this. It was NOT_ mine._ You treated me like something needing to be _scraped_ off the bottom of your _shoe_," he miserably enunciated. "I stayed with you throughout your delivery and you… you said you regretted ever meeting me. That I'd only made your life miserable ever since. That if you could, you'd go back and let me _die_ after the infarction… _enjoy_ my suffering." By this time the tears were streaming down House's face and he let them in disregard, knowing it was too late to hide them anyway. So she would see how badly she'd hurt him. It was too damn late to cover up for that. With every word he uttered, he only revealed that much more of his ravaged soul. Well, maybe she _deserved _to see it. Maybe she'd _finally _believe he was capable of _feeling _like a _damn human being_.

"You regretted hiring me… called me the worst testament of poor judgment you'd ever made," he continued, trying to force his chin up in the air so that he wouldn't look like the poor lovestruck sap he'd been to allow her to hurt him as she had. "I _told_ you at that conference that you _never_ believed in me. And then you went and declared it in that delivery room in front of a crowd of witnesses, rubbing it _in my face_. You wished you'd saved your breath and not resuscitated me! You implied I was a _waste of your used oxygen!_ You said you regretted ever feeling _anything_ for me except hatred. That you wished I'd _overdosed, Cuddy_ or… _killed_ myself or _never recovered _and spent the rest _of my life_ locked up in Mayfield. You want me to _believe_ that you love me… that you've loved me _all along_. But guess what? I _can't_ look back and see that _anywhere._ All I _see_… all I _hear… _all I _experience_ is memories of how you _didn't_ love me… how you in fact, _despised _me. I wasn't _just_ something to be scraped from the bottom of your shoe. I was something to be stomped upon while laughing maniacally until I was most assuredly dead, ground up until even my organs were nothing more than smears, and _then_ scraped off with disgust at having dirtied a good pair of shoes in the process."

Cuddy didn't even know how to respond to all he'd said. He was right. She _had_ said those things. She _had _treated him _that_ badly. And there was _no_ excuse she could offer him that would in _any _way _justify her behavior_. The guilt and anguish she felt regarding what she'd done couldn't compare to how she imagined he'd suffered during that time. And from the shattered expression on his face and the brittle, tenuous rasp of his voice, not to mention the tears she'd _never _wanted to see mar his beautiful face because of something _she'd_ done to him, she _knew_ his suffering over all she had said might have already reached critical mass but its _cumulative_ _damage_ _HADN'T _terminated yet but continued on, its claws still buried deep within him.

House took a ragged breath, straightened his posture, and then moistened his lips before bitterly decreeing, "Right now you _say_ you want me. But you'll get tired of the wait. And then you'll go looking for someone else. Just like before."

She shook her head adamantly but his eyes had already dropped to the floor. You could have heard a pin drop in that moment. For the first time she became aware of how the kitchen sink hadn't been shut off properly and was dripping. Each drop pinged off the basin and echoed in the stillness of the room like a nuclear explosion in her ears. She didn't _want _to hear it, for it just made the reality all the more brutal, forcing her to see just how big a bomb she _had _lobbed at House through her actions and reactions.

Turning around to walk away, House quietly asserted, "I'd never have been enough for you anyway."

Crushed, Cuddy brokenly whimpered his name. "_House…_" It was all she could manage in that moment under the neverending torrent of self-hatred and self-disgust that was raining down upon her.

"Just remember that when you do start seeing someone, you can't bring him here," House mumbled, leaving the kitchen and limping through the dining room to head for his bedroom.

Cuddy watched him go, unable to _do ANYTHING, _devastated by what he said but moreover, by the fact of just how much he believed that to be true. She slowly sank to the floor as he left her field of vision and his bedroom door opened and closed quietly in the distance, the sound magnified by how much she was straining in her awareness of him right now. Covering her face with her hands, she dry-sobbed, having run out of the moisture required to produce tears. She didn't know how long she sat there keening, soaking up the slight relief offered from the cold tiles against her hot face once she dropped her upper body forward to meet the floor. All she knew was compounded guilt, self-loathing, and horror at the atrocities she'd committed against the man she _loved_ with all that was in her who she might never be able to convince enough to trust that her love _wasn't _just a lie.

Sometime later she finally forced herself to get to her feet. She had to go to him. She had to try to explain what she could. But when she stumbled to his bedroom door, it was locked and she… just couldn't bring herself to pound on his door until he opened up, not when he'd gone away to lick his wounds in private, wounds she herself had been responsible for.

* * *

House went to his room, too weary to even strip down. He turned the lock as he entered, needing privacy, needing to be alone. And then he kicked off his shoes before collapsing on the bed, still fully dressed. He lay there, staring up at the ceiling, trying to block out the sound of Cuddy's wails from the kitchen, despite how it pierced him like a knife. He grabbed a pillow and placed it over his head to try and muffle it further, though he was too aware of her to accomplish his prerogative.

He hadn't said anything that wasn't true. She believed she loved him. And he could accept her "love" and bask in it while it lasted. But that was just it. _While it lasted._ House tossed the pillow he had over his face across the room, returning to his staredown with the ceiling stretching above him.

He didn't understand why things hadn't worked out for Cuddy and Lucas in the end. He'd given her Lucas's address to try and make another go of it. But Cuddy had never told him why they hadn't found their way back to one another and he certainly wasn't going to ask. Maybe Lucas hadn't wanted to get involved with Cuddy again. She had gone a little psychotic, after all. But honestly, Lucas was creepy in his own right. And then again, maybe it hadn't been that. Maybe Lucas had moved on and was with someone new. It had been over a year and a half already since they'd been engaged.

So now Lucas was off the table as an option and House was back up on display as a filler, one that was second-best. He closed his eyes, pressing a finger against each eyelid as if the slight pressure would erase her image from his eyes. He did want her. That he could acknowledge to himself. But he'd never been enough for her. And that was truth at its most obvious. Cuddy was doing much better now. The fact that she'd had the backbone to say all she had tonight was further proof of that fact. And… she was capable of attracting the attention of men just by walking by. She had sex appeal, her looks, a successful career, intelligence (okay, clearly not when it came to him but…). She could have anyone she wanted. Maybe she really did want him now. But even if he could believe she'd stay around, which he couldn't, what kind of man was he?! He couldn't even get a proper erection these days. Not one that lasted any length of time. Not since what had… happened between them. He couldn't respond to her body like any other sane, straight man would. Cuddy loved sex. She'd demanded it from him during her pregnancy. But he couldn't offer her that anymore. Not genuine fulfillment through his sexual anatomy anyway. She'd never settle for less when she could get more somewhere else. He… he was less than a man. Oh, he could talk big and fool everyone else, but there was no fooling himself and if they were to enter a relationship, there would be no fooling her either. The cost of all that had happened between them… it had been_ high_ _enough_ so as to reduce him to being_ far removed _from what Cuddy needed him to be capable of in order to stick with him and have him be… enough for her. She might not know he wasn't capable anymore, and the last thing he wanted was the shame of having her ever find out, for the Viagra thing had been excruciatingly painful enough, but he knew… He _knew _what she _needed_ was no longer what he _was_. He probably should have just sent her on her way tonight and asked her to move back out, but somehow he just couldn't do that to _himself._ And certainly not after the day he'd had, but regardless, he _couldn't _kick her out and lose both her and Rachel _even if_ Cuddy wasn't his to claim and he'd never be enough for her. No, he'd allow her to live here until she _did _find another and then, when she moved out, it would be by her choice to be _with_ someone rather than his insistence that she leave him behind once again.

House was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of soft footfalls in the hall and then heard her try to turn his doorknob. Did she _really _want to see him suffer more tonight? Hadn't the last hour or two been _enough on top of EVERYTHING else? _On top of what had come out at Erika's? He just lay there, waiting until he heard her head upstairs before turning on his side to stare off across the room. He had heard everything she'd said. And it had crippled him to hear her voice how much he'd hurt her way back when in walking away. He swallowed against the lump in his throat, just at the thought. He hadn't even explained why, not that the why justified his idiocy in leaving. His eyes fell on the door to his walk-in closet and he remembered that his box of things from their time together was in there, tucked in the corner. He lay there, thinking about everything within that box. Finally he couldn't deny to himself that she not only deserved an explanation, but he wanted her to have one, even if she didn't want it, because he just couldn't swallow having her believe he'd been such a creep when she'd already thought that for the last twenty-some years. Despite everything, he couldn't handle the idea of her believing any longer that he had been so calloused as to pretend to care for her almost a year straight just to get in her pants. He didn't want her to think that was the kind of man he was or ever had been where she was concerned. Maybe with others he had been so unfeeling as to have sex with them just to have sex with them. They'd always known that was what he was looking for. But with Cuddy? No. That had not been who he was. Nor why he'd left. And so she could have this stupid box of momentos and memories, at least until Evie was old enough to have it. There were enough reasons for Cuddy to think less of him without this being one of them. He might have been a real jerk to leave her as he did, but it _wasn't_ because he'd finally gotten what he wanted from her. _That_, he'd never gotten at all. She'd _never ever_ been truly and wholly his. She never would be either.

* * *

Cuddy climbed the steps to her room, her feet dragging. She glanced in on Rachel who was sleeping and managed a tremulous half-smile before she closed the door most of the way. Then she went into her room, shutting the door behind her and leaning back against it, her eyes tightly closed. Slipping into her bathroom several minutes later, she blew her nose and picked up a clean washcloth, waiting for the water to run hot before soaking it in the downstream. Ignoring the sting of the hot liquid, she wrung it out before shutting off the faucet and covering her face with the steaming washcloth. When it was no longer hot, she removed it, balling it up and tracing it around her red, swollen features again.

Once she was done in the bathroom, Cuddy headed back into the bedroom. She stripped down and then pulled on a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. Bypassing the bed, Cuddy went over to the window and sank down to the floor underneath it, leaning against the cool wall, her knees drawn up and her arms around them as she stared at nothing in particular, her position quite reminiscent of how she'd sat after losing Joy, though she was unaware of it.

Cuddy knew she should at least try to get some sleep, but she was exhausted even beyond sleeping now. She sat there, not really doing much of anything, her mind not functioning properly enough to actually generate full-fledged thoughts.

And then she heard the creak of a stair and her heart stopped beating, waiting, just waiting. She couldn't move, instead straining with her ears to pick up further sounds, desperately hoping that House was coming to her and intended to give her a chance to explain.

Cuddy heard a dull thud against her door but the door didn't open as she hoped and finally she had to accept that it wasn't going to. She got to her feet, knowing the sound wasn't enough to indicate House had fallen but needing to know if he was standing out there, uncertain as to what to do. She turned the knob soundlessly but when she pulled it open, she almost tripped over something in her effort to take the few steps required to bring the stairwell within sight. When she reached the open space and could see the stairs, she caught sight of the back of House's head as he disappeared, reentering his bedroom from the sound of it.

She released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding and slowly turned back to her room, her eyes immediately falling on the object she had tripped over. She stared at it, her hands creeping up to plant themselves on either side of her face in nervous expectancy. Working up her courage she took a deep breath and then gingerly walked back to it, lifting it up off the ground to carry it into her bedroom.

Cuddy set the box on her bed and crawled up beside it, hesitating a moment before prying off the lid. Her eyes immediately fell on a stack of pictures and her breath caught in her throat to see the topmost picture was of her and House during med school. Lifting the whole stack out, she moved the box aside momentarily and slowly went through the pictures, laying them out around her on top of the duvet. There were a couple pictures of them after his Lacrosse games; him standing there smiling smugly, probably because he'd scored and won the game for his team, her standing beside him, cringing in one due to how muddy and sweaty he was, staring at him in the other, her eyes soft and a smile on her lips. There were a couple more that she was certain her mother had taken during his visit home with her during Christmas break. Quite a few were from their trip to Georgia; some in front of the State Limit sign, others at the beach, one of her straddling his motorcycle with a teasing smile on her lips, a couple House had talked a nearby pedestrian into taking while they danced on the boardwalk, and even one or two of just her, taken unbeknownst to her, a whimsical expression gracing her features. She continued to work her way through what remained of the stack, happening upon one that she didn't understand why he'd kept, for it didn't contain them at all and didn't jive with the theme of the rest of the pictures. Cuddy set that one aside with a puzzled expression before continuing through the remaining photos.

There were several more pictures of them together taken over the summer that followed. And then the remaining pictures were more recent, taken at hospital events or for publicity purposes, one of them sitting at the poker table that night when he'd said her breasts, like her cards, didn't match either before walking off and leaving her embarrassed, and another one of them together, clearly bantering, though she couldn't for the life of her remember what occasion that had been on.

Cuddy leaned back against the headboard behind her, trying to decide what it had meant that he'd kept these. Not wanting to misread it or… fail to assess it from all angles, she reached for the box and swept her hand through it blindly before a finger caught on something. Opening her hand she reached to grab it, lifting it out and gasping when she read her name on the top letter of what looked to be a whole stack of them. She snorted at how the yellowed letters were tied together with sutures. That was so House, even if finding letters from him was _not_. Carefully untying them, her hands trembled before she picked the top one up and slowly lifted the flap, easing the paper out from within. She couldn't remember House ever writing her letters. But then, being that they were amongst his things and not her own, she had to conclude that was because he'd never given them to her. She did not fail to recognize how old they were. He had to have hung onto them the last twenty plus years.

Unfolding the first letter, she briefly closed her eyes before opening them and allowing them to trace out his simple words.

"_L, You take my breath away. G"_

Cuddy blinked, a smile quivering on her lips because he'd never been so straightforward in his compliments, unless they came coated in sarcasm or sexual innuendo. She stored it away in her heart before she reluctantly set it down on the bed with its envelope, reaching for another.

"_L, You were wrong on #41. The answer was D. All of the Above, not C. Hematoma. I think maybe you misread the question. That's the only way your answer makes sense. (Which is funny as you go over your exams four or five times before the bell goes off to force you into handing them in.) But that's okay. Because you're still the smartest person I've ever met. Besides myself, I mean. G"_

She laughed softly and then rolled her eyes before that letter went on top of the other one, her memories drifting up from the past to present her with the young man she'd known and who had first stolen her heart rapturously.

"_L, Every guy in the room was drooling over you tonight in that red dress you wore that clung to you in all the right places. I'm relieved you didn't notice. And I'm glad that you only had eyes for me. But then, I am one FINE specimen of manliness. G"_

Ugh. Even then he was so full of himself, she thought. Okay, maybe with reason.

Cuddy worked her way through the stack, drinking each one in, parched for House's love, affection, and the things he'd clearly thought but never shared out loud.

"_L, You and I both know you came to my game to see ME today. Your so-called friend doesn't exist. I think I'm the only one you have. Okay, don't hit me for saying that. G"_

"_L, I kissed you today. Don't try to deny it. You liked it. You more than liked it. G P.S. I did too."_

"_L, You won't let me unbutton, unzip, or unhook ANYTHING. I feel sexually repressed. I've never gone so long without sex as I have since I started spending time with you. At least not since I was 15. It blows. BUT… you're worth it. G"_

"_L, I hope you don't regret tonight. Maybe I should have stopped when I realized… But you didn't want me too. And I didn't want to either. Are you going to hate me for this one day? I don't want you to regret what we've shared. I know I never will. G"_

"_L, Tonight I got home and was flipping through my yearbook, looking for a picture I'd submitted when I discovered what you'd written. You didn't say you loved me. But what you wrote spoke loud and clear. I don't know what to do. The truth is I love you too. G"_

"_L, I know it has to be over between us. I can't risk you getting any closer because I'll only end up hurting you in the end. But how do I walk away when all I want is to be with you? When you're the best thing that's ever happened to me? G"_

"_L, I haven't seen you all week. You've called and come by. But I haven't answered and I've pretended not to be home. I HATE this. I HATE what this must be doing to you and what you're probably thinking of me right about now. I HATE how miserable I am without you. But I know in the end, you're better off. I could only cause you pain. I'm sure I already am. At least in doing this now, you won't be broken one day by the discovery that I'll only disappoint you and my genetic makeup renders me unable to do anything less. G"_

"_L, I wasn't using you. I just want you to know that. Not that you'll believe me now. G"_

"_L, I disappoint everyone. Just ask my dad. It's the great truth of my life. It's who I am. And people don't change. I'm sorry. I wish I could be the guy you need and deserve. I really mean that. G"_

"_L, I heard you crying outside my door today. You knocked for twenty minutes straight. I wanted to climb on my motorcycle and run into a brick wall for hurting you like that. G"_

"_L, Please take me back! Please forgive me! I need you! You're all I have and everything I need! G"_

"_L, You'll find someone someday who will be all the things that I can't be for you, who you wouldn't one day wake up and feel disillusioned by as I would have made you feel, and who blots me out of your memory like I'm a smudge that you forgot to erase until he came along. G"_

"_L, I cheated and got kicked out of the program. I had to. I can't be here with you and yet without you. And I HAVE to do what's best for you. I love you too much to stick around and cause you further pain. G"_

"_L, I miss you. There, I've said it. I miss you every day. G"_

"_L, I want you back. I know it was me who left but… Come back to me. G"_

"_L, Will you ever be able to forgive me? Will you ever understand that this was best for you? That leaving you and freeing you to be with someone else was the greatest gift I could ever have given to you? G"_

"_L, Not that it wasn't selfish too. The truth is I would never have been able to survive you walking away when the day came in which you would. The day in which I failed you one time too many or in which you found someone better. The day in which I was eclipsed by someone more worthy of you and got lost in the background because of. G"_

"_L, Have you moved on? Are you with someone new who is better for you than I was? Does he make you happy? Does he make you feel things that I made you feel? Does he make you feel MORE? Does he love you like I did? Do you love him more than you loved me? Just wondering. G"_

"_L, I'm just going to say it. I'm scared you'll forget about me. But I know you should. Still, I'll never forget you. Not ever. G"_

"_L, You've forgotten me. Haven't you? Well, I deserved it. G"_

Cuddy hadn't thought she had it in her to cry any more than she already had but House's notes proved her wrong. She read them over and over, blowing her nose and swiping random tears away. It wasn't that she hadn't known before this weekend that House had issues, especially with his father. She had. She just hadn't really ever managed to get details out of him. He hadn't wanted to talk about it. She couldn't force him to. And in part, she'd thought he was just exaggerating because when he did say something, it seemed to often come out of nowhere, completely irrelevant to whatever conversation they'd been engaged in. Now, years later she knew enough about House to know that was how he best let someone else get a glimpse of who he was inside. It had never been through honest, straightforward conversations but in broken bits and jagged-edged pieces that brought light to all he held bottled up inside, _only _taking place if the listener was truly paying attention and cared enough to comprehend him and look for his method of operation. She had also known through Wilson that the man who had raised him hadn't even been his father. And she could imagine there being issues there. But to the point where House could say that the great truth of his life was how he disappointed everyone and the only one she had to ask for confirmation of that was his dad? It broke her heart. Her dad had _always _believed in her. He'd been her biggest fan. And it really just _crushed_ her that House hadn't had that for himself with his own father. House… was _such _a good dad to their girls. And to find out this weekend that it hadn't in any way been something he'd learned through his father's example had hit her, but now it further backed up the few things he'd said, highlighting just how hard he really was trying – not just to love the girls but to overcome his own past so that he wouldn't repeat history and inflict wounds upon the girls that he himself must have suffered through. Especially when she now had to face the reality that House's dad hadn't _just _injured him with his words but had _physically _abused him when he'd been just a poor, defenseless little kid, his own mother not doing anything to stop it.

Yes, House's statements regarding his dad broke her heart. But for that matter, pretty much every letter he'd written was like a fist clenching down on that most important of organs. He hadn't _wanted_ to leave her as he had. As messed up as it was, he had _thought _he was somehow doing what was best for _her._ And it hadn't _at all_ been about her being a _conquest_, another _notch_ in his belt as she'd allowed herself to believe all these years. He'd… _loved her too_. He'd _suffered_ in walking away. He'd _wanted _to undo what he'd done, even while convincing himself it wasn't the right thing for her. But House… had fully expected she'd forget about him. And what struck her now was that twenty some years later he _still_ feared she'd forget about him. After all they'd shared and… survived and come back to each other after. It would be nice if she _could_ take it personally and see it as an affront on her character but… in House's eyes she hadn't done much to show she wasn't_ capable_ of moving on without him, even if she _wasn't_ capable of forgetting him and _never had been_. In House's eyes, Lucas was a testimony to just how easy it was for her to toss him aside. Because when House had hit his lowest and yet come out of it determined to win her for good, she'd already dropped him in pursuit of another, as if she was oblivious to the fact that he'd thought they already _were_ something. No, as if she just hadn't _cared._ In a matter of weeks, he'd said. That had been all it had taken her to move on with Lucas. Cuddy closed her eyes briefly, shutting out the pain of repeating House's words in her thoughts. And House didn't even want to _ever_ hear her say Lucas's name in his presence again, which she really couldn't _blame_ him for but which would make it virtually _impossible_ to account fully for all that had happened that remained to be explained, without doing.

She browsed through her notes to him that he'd saved through the years, reliving how she'd felt while they'd been together, before he'd walked away, before she'd started to doubt that he had ever felt anything at all for her to any depth. Then she tipped the box her direction to grab whatever else was inside.

The first item was a folder containing sheet music. The top piece was entitled, "Cuddy's Serenade." She moaned as if in actual pain at the realization that he'd clearly written this piece for her, but also because she wanted to hear him play it and didn't know if he'd ever be willing to. She wanted to know what he'd created with his musical genius while thinking of her. She wanted to know _why _he'd even troubled himself to do so. The date caught her eye. It was shortly after she'd gotten Rachel. And then she knew what day it had been. It was the day of Rachel's Simchat Bat. He… he had written it when she'd been too proud to rescind her request that he NOT attend. He'd _gone home_ and probably spent _hours_ working on it. She'd wounded him and he'd gone home and poured feeling into a piece of music with her in mind. There were times when she just wanted to beat her head against the wall. _Why_ had she been _so foolish?!_

But flipping through the folder, she realized that it wasn't the _only_ piece of music he'd written while thinking of her. Several of them were dated in the years in between when he started at PPTH up through when she'd started fertility treatments, at which point they'd strangely increased in frequency. From the dates and titles, she… suspected each one represented a time when he'd really hurt her, because she could _remember _as if it was yesterday the date of her miscarriage and work from there to sketchily guess at various things that had taken place after that, including that day when she'd sat in the bottom of the shower stall only to have House come in and berate her, saying she'd make a terrible mother and that it was a good thing she hadn't been successful in her attempts. There was a piece of music for that. While "The Lies I Tell You" didn't include lyrics, she was certain the date would correspond if she were to search for it. And somehow she instinctively knew he'd never done this for anyone else; at least not to this extent. And some of the scars he'd left on her heart over the years received a dose of Vitamin E for the first time at that realization. While it was too late to heal them completely, eradicating the wound, it kept them from itching quite as much, almost like Calamine to her soul.

Cuddy then turned to the second item, his yearbook from that year. She flipped through it, stopping here and there, coming to a halt at a dog-eared corner. Scanning the pictures to try and figure out why he'd bent the page on this one, her eyes fell on a duplicate of the picture she'd been confused by when going through the stack. She reached for it now and studied it closer. And as she scrutinized the setting, she saw what House had clearly noticed and what he'd commented on in one of his notes to her. Turning the picture over, she noticed that he'd penciled the date on it. She knew what had happened on that day. Cuddy had engrained that day in her memory long ago. She'd circled it on every calendar she'd owned and had never been able to throw a single calendar from that year away. And she'd been anal enough to have _several _calendars that year, each with a separate purpose. In fact, she was positive she knew just which box in storage she'd find them in. Grabbing her water glass from the bedside table, she attempted to magnify it. It worked but not very well. Still, there they were, House on top of her in the grass, their lips fused together, she was certain of it. Seeing the picture, _remembering _again that day, tugged at her heartstrings and she licked her lips, longing to taste him again as she had that first time.

Cuddy couldn't take it anymore. Leaving everything where it lay, she left her room, slowing herself down on the stairs so that she wouldn't awaken Rachel or House, if he was already sleeping. Evie was the only one she didn't have to worry about waking up. House was right. She could sleep through anything as long as she wasn't teething.

Stepping to his door, she paused and then took a deep breath, slowly releasing it before trying the knob once again. She wasn't sure what she'd do if she met with no success. But this time, it wasn't locked.

* * *

Wilson had once demanded to know, _"Do you want to be the man with the answers? Or do you want to be the man with Cuddy?"_ Of course, he'd said that when House had been under the conviction that he'd slept with Cuddy and when House thought she was avoiding him, uncertain if she wanted to be with him. But despite the question not being based on a real situation, one that had actually happened, Wilson's question had awakened him back then to just how much he _did_ want to be the man with Cuddy and how much he _always had_. The truth was that he _still did, _after _everything_.

Life was strange. And definitely a cruel mistress. No matter how much House had tried to win Cuddy back to him, no matter how much Cuddy might now claim to want him, their relationship seemed eternally doomed as dead in the water, only moving when the wind blew enough to lift the sail a bit and even then, never very far. Oh, the current caused their boat to sometimes go in circles, circles that never stayed consistently good, though he supposed they weren't consistently bad, either. But always, in the end, they were right back where they started.

House lay there in the middle of his bed on his side, still in his clothes. He knew he had to work tomorrow. But he didn't care. So he lost a night of sleep. What was that in the scheme of things?

He heard the door open and honestly, he was surprised to find he hadn't relocked it upon entering. But he froze, even his breathing coming to a halt, until he opted to just lay there, pretending to be asleep, hoping she'd just go away if she thought he was. House _wasn't_ prepared for her to come up behind him and crawl up on his bed, settling in beside him, placing her left hand on his left arm and then tracing it along his arm and down to his hand where it rested against his stomach, sliding her fingers between his to interlock their hands. He felt her breath on his neck as she folded her right arm up and slid it partway under his pillow, her head then descending to join his where it rested there. Then she slid her body closer until his back was right against her front and he could distinguish her lines and planes from her breasts, their softness contrasting with the bones of her hips and the tone of her arms.

"I _never_ forgot about you, House. I never could and would never want to," she whispered softly; whether or not she knew he was awake, he did not know. But House didn't send her away or even acknowledge he'd heard her. He couldn't. He knew head-wise that the situation was an impossible one. They'd never go anywhere. There was too much between them and too little that could be undone. But his heart told him another story. It spoke of months and months of longing after years of pretending that this wasn't where he wanted to be; it burbled that all it knew now was how on this night of nights, he'd trade what his head was telling him for what his heart demanded that he just accept and indulge in, the knowledge that right now, all Cuddy wanted was to be wrapped up in him once more.

She'd obviously gone through the box if she was able to quote what he now remembered his letters having said, even while knowing he'd declared as much earlier. And perhaps she now knew the why, even if she hadn't been asking for an explanation and knowing didn't change the fact that he'd hurt her back then. House _wanted _to believe her. And so in this moment, in the wee hours of the morning, he chose to allow himself to, if only for what remained of the night. He permitted her to hold him as she was, making no move to either escape nor to reciprocate the action. He just focused on the feel of her pressed up against him, absorbing her warmth and her comfort until he finally drifted off into sleep, exhausted from the day he'd had.

His breathing evened out into sleep long before Cuddy's did. That didn't escape her notice. Instead it filled her heart with hope. He could have sent her away. She would have fought him on it but ultimately, he could have done so and been successful. Instead he'd allowed her to remain, even if he probably had intended to make her believe he was already passed out when she'd entered the room. And whether or not it was justified, she clung to that hope, wrapping herself in it as if it was a warm blanket and finally, falling asleep, his presence in her arms that night _everything _she needed and had been longing so desperately for.

-----

"**_Young and full of running  
Tell me, where is that taking me?  
Just a great figure eight  
Or a tiny infinity_**

**_Love is really nothing  
But a dream that keeps waking me  
For all of my trying  
We still end up dying  
How can it be?_**

**_Don't say a word  
Just come over and lie here with me  
'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see_**

**_I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe  
There I just said it  
I'm scared you'll forget about me_**

**_So young and full of running  
All the way to the edge of desire  
Steady_** **_my breathing  
Silently screaming  
I have to have you now_**

**_Wired and I'm tired  
Think I'll sleep in my clothes on the floor  
Maybe this mattress will spin on its axis  
And find me on yours_**

**_Don't say a word  
Just come over and lie here with me  
'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see_**

**_I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe  
There I just said it  
I'm scared you'll forget about me_**

_**(BRIDGE)**_

_**Don't say a word  
Just come over and lie here with me  
'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see**_

_**I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe  
There I just said it  
I'm scared you'll forget about me"**_

* * *

Song: "Edge Of Desire" (John Mayer)


	86. Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Sorry for the wait, guys! I thought I had this chapter almost done last night and then I had to rework some things I wasn't quite satisfied with. Hope you enjoy it! Personally, I'd like a chapter WITHOUT angst for once! Sigh.)_

* * *

House woke up on his back, blearily trying to blink away the sleep from his eyes as he tried to turn back over onto his side, intending to glance at the clock before falling back asleep until either his alarm went off or Evie woke up. But he was startled to find himself pinned down by a weight on his chest and he froze for a moment, trying to process, trying to remember, before he blew a long strand of dark hair away from his mouth and slowly lifted his head a couple inches to look down and find Cuddy's head resting against his heart, her body turned towards him and left leg bent at an angle possessively lying over both of his. In looking down he also realized that regardless of how it had come about, his t-shirt had been pulled up or had risen up on its own, he wasn't sure. But Cuddy's hand was tucked inside it, resting on the far side of his ribcage.

Somewhat bewildered by how he'd got himself into this position, House lifted his right hand and rubbed his face before reaching for his alarm clock, lifting it up into the air as much as the cord would allow so that he could see what time it was. Crap, he had less than a minute before it would go off. Setting it back down, he tried to find the right button to turn it off. Meeting little success, he instead attempted to slide the volume control down. His left hand moved slightly with his body and he suddenly became aware it was resting on the bare skin of Cuddy's side.

At the same time, due to the movement of his fingers on her side, Cuddy moaned and then murmured, "Mmm. Let's sleep just a little longer, Lucas."

House jerked awake, realizing he had been dreaming. It took him a full minute to ease the tension he'd suddenly found himself under the influence of in hearing Cuddy say Lucas's name while in his arms, even if it _had _only been a dream. Finally he lifted his head and looked down. Surprisingly, or maybe not so surprisingly, the physical position they were in was no different than in his dream. Cuddy's head lay on his chest, her hand was wrapped over his rib cage, her fingers skimming his side, and her left leg was bent and locked over his, just as possessively as before. Even a lock of her hair was tickling his nose. He puffed out a breath of air, causing her lock of hair to slip from where it had been lying across his lips, and then he slowly concentrated on determining just where his left hand was right now. A finger at a time, he removed his hand from her bare skin and then held his breath as he lifted the palm of his hand off of her side. Exhaling slowly once he'd accomplished that and met with no protest featuring _anyone's _name, he tried to think, not knowing what he was going to do about this, not wanting to wake her in case it was possible to extrapolate himself from this situation without disturbing her so that he could retreat and put off the inevitable conversation that much longer, giving him time to think. And _then_, before he could do anything, his alarm clock broke the silence and House reached quickly with his left hand to hit the snooze button while Cuddy's hand reflexively tightened slightly against his side before she moaned in protest in having to leave the bliss of sweet sleep behind.

House dropped back against the pillow, searching for what he was going to do _now_ while Cuddy realized exactly where she was and whose body she was practically straddling in her sleep. She smiled and rubbed her cheek against his t-shirt clad chest before propping herself up somewhat with her right elbow, looking up at him, her hair tousled and an expression of genuine contentment in her eyes.

"Mmm, I could get used to _this_ and it _still _wouldn't lose its element of intoxicating perfection," she murmured sleepily.

House stared at her for a second and then looked away, his lips pressing together firmly as he grappled with what to say. "I need to get ready for work," he settled on mumbling, somewhat disgusted with himself for what he classified as a clear-cut demonstration of neediness, in allowing her to stay with him the night before.

She trailed circles over his belly with her hand, having discovered with pleasure where it lay. "Stay here with me a little longer," she pled.

House caught her hand and extracted it from his shirt and she reluctantly let him slip away from her. "This won't be happening again, Cuddy," he mumbled, not making eye contact with her as he sat up and pushed himself from the bed.

"House," she replied, her tone half rebuke. "You let me stay. You wanted me to. _Please_ don't deny that fact to either one of us."

He shook his head. "I can't deny it," he admitted in a whisper as she stared at his back, pained by his rejection this morning even if she had pretty much expected it. "But I was… weak after… all I had to _deal_ with yesterday. And I… it wasn't fair of me to allow you to stay. I _should _have sent you on your way. But nothing has _changed_. This can't happen again."

"You make it sound like we had sex," she said softly, now trying to downplay what had taken place so that _maybe _he'd allow it to happen again, judging it to really _not _be that big a deal and giving her opportunity to love up on him however she could until his heart softened to her or he allowed her to explain what had happened involving Lucas and… why she'd been so damaged going into her pregnancy… why she'd acted as she had, even if it _couldn't_ excuse her. She sighed. "I'm not under the assumption that everything is right between us. I just… I meant what I said House. I am not going anywhere. You're… _everything_ to me and… I will do _whatever _it takes to make things right again between us. I can't lose you, House. Not ever again."

House cringed at the mention of sex but he didn't say anything, pushing himself off the bed after rubbing his bad thigh a moment. Evie started to cry just then and he was honestly relieved to be saved from replying. In time, Cuddy would realize that this wasn't what she wanted. And she'd realize that all on her own.

"I've got to get Evie," he stated flatly as he walked out the door.

Cuddy rolled onto her back and dropped her head down on the pillow, momentarily staring up at the ceiling. Nothing was ever without complication in this relationship she had with him. There would be no more conversation this morning, but she _hoped_ they'd be able to talk tonight. She could hear House talking in soft tones to the baby over the monitor that he hadn't yet shut off and she smiled to hear him talk to Evie, blowing raspberries on her belly as he stripped her down.

Cuddy rolled over onto her left when he reentered the room, Evie completely naked in his arms. Cuddy propped herself back up on her right elbow, watching him and the baby. He hesitantly made eye contact with her.

"You should go get ready for work and then get Rachel's things together for her first day at RE," he mumbled. "I'm going to take Evie in the shower with me."

The temptation to ask if he'd like someone there to help scrub his back was very real, but she held her tongue, knowing that time hadn't come, just nodding before climbing from his bed to press a kiss to Evie's cheek before heading out the door, glancing back regretfully at leaving his bed behind as she bit her lip and hoped that wouldn't be her last night sleeping in it with him.

House shut the door behind her and then entered the bathroom with Evie, closing that door as well before heading for the shower and adjusting the temperature. He set Evie down so he could strip off his clothes and then picked her back up again, taking her into the shower with him.

Evie loved the water and so she babbled happily as the mist coming off the main spray pummeling House swirled around her, batting at his wet chest and giggling at the sound generated by the smacking of her hand on his skin. "I hope you know this constitutes as parental abuse," he informed her before soaping up her hair and making it stand up in mohawk fashion, smirking to himself at his accomplishment.

She just babbled happily in response and _then _she proceeded to pee all over him and he groaned in disgust as she giggled at the face he was making, before he washed her down and then soaped himself down as well. Five minutes later he turned the water off and wrapped her in a towel before placing her on the bathroom rug to grab his own towel. Evie waited contentedly while he brushed his teeth and trimmed his scruff before picking her back up to go get dressed in his room. She sat on his bed, clapping her hands, while he dressed and then she wiggled about enough to loosen the towel from around her, crawling out of it. House chuckled as her little backside crawled away from him and then caught her, tossing her carefully up in the air to make her giggle before he headed out of his room to get her dressed.

She was eating cheerios in her high chair, House sipping coffee, when Cuddy brought Rachel down to him.

"Mornin' daddy!" Rachel happily declared, wrapping herself around his leg. House reached down to muss her hair before pulling out a sippy cup for her to fill with juice.

Pouring herself a mug of coffee, Cuddy asked, "You've got her if I go back upstairs to get ready?"

He nodded, not really looking her way in his discomfort over having allowed her to stay in his bed the night before, turning then to head for the pantry to put together a bowl of cereal for Rachel while Cuddy went back upstairs, mug cradled in her hands.

By the time she came back down, House had the girls in their car seats.

"I'm hoping to only work a half-day, since I'm not supposed to be working _at all_," she informed him with a chagrined smile. Even if it _was _Memorial Day, Cuddy had way too many staff taking time off to feel comfortable _not _going in, afraid the hospital would fall apart without her there to intervene, should disaster strike from so many people being on the road, travelling today. "I was hoping to get some shopping done and pick up groceries but I could come get the girls and take them with me," she offered.

"It would be out of your way. The mall's in the other direction. Anyway, it'll be easier without them," he pointed out.

Cuddy shrugged, knowing this was true. "Okay. But I'll probably be there when you get off work because I'd like to be there tonight to pick Rachel up after her first day and find out how it went."

House nodded, not surprised, watching as she stooped in the car to kiss Evie before going around to the other side to give Rachel a kiss.

"You have a fun time with the other kids, big girl," she instructed almost tearfully at having Rachel start daycare, those preschool years suddenly closing in on her, giving her daughter a couple extra kisses before smoothing Rachel's hair back and tucking it behind her ears.

"Bye mommy," Rachel happily declared, waving as Cuddy carefully shut her door and looked back up to meet House's eyes, wiping away a random tear.

"It's just daycare, Cuddy," House reminded pointedly, his eyebrow quirked in disbelief.

"Yeah? Is that what you told yourself the first day _you _dropped _Evie_ off?" she asked skeptically, her chin lifting in the air.

House looked away, knowing she had a point. "Well I certainly didn't cry over it," he muttered for an argument.

Cuddy laughed softly, tossing her hair about her shoulders. "Maybe I'll ask Ruth to verify that you didn't weep like a baby," she teased.

"House rolled his eyes and opened his door to climb in.

"Hey House," she called out, stopping him.

"Yeah?" he replied, looking at her.

"Have a good day at work," she murmured, biting her lip as she smiled softly.

House pursed his lips and his head jerked in a small nod as he looked away uncomfortably before climbing into his car and hitting the garage door opener, starting the engine and pulling out. Cuddy watched them go and then sighed softly before heading back into the house to grab her things and head off to work also.

* * *

Having two kids instead of one to drop off at daycare _felt _like a much greater challenge, considering he had to hold Evie, carry both girls' things, and hold Rachel's hand while they headed inside. He dropped Evie off first, since this was old hat to her and introduced Rachel to Becky before kissing Evie goodbye, heading back out with Rachel and her things.

When he entered the toddler room, he found Ruth there with the workers and introduced Rachel as she smiled shyly from behind his leg. Alicia, who he had met previously on the tour with Cuddy, stepped over and kneeled down beside him, talking to Rachel and pointing out the other children who were either playing or finishing up their breakfast. Rachel allowed Alicia to pick her up and House reached for her, stroking Rachel's cheek. "You have fun and play hard. Show these girls what you're made of," he instructed, his voice slightly pinched.

Rachel had no clue what he was talking about but she nodded obediently.

House nodded and then reluctantly turned to go.

"Daddy!" Rachel squealed suddenly, seemingly just realizing he was leaving her behind as he had Evie in the other room. "Don't leave me! Want you to stay!"

He turned back to her and his heart clenched at the crocodile tears filling her eyes as her chin quivered with the beginning signs of crying to come, her arms outstretched towards him. The ache in his chest grew at the look of devastation on her face. Rachel was used to other caretakers. But House knew her last one had been with Cuddy awhile and he was sure this, on top of daycare being a big change for her, made the situation rather confusing to a two and a half year old and justified a little reassurance. Limping back to her, he scooped her back into his arms, taking her from Alicia, and Rachel cried into his neck as he stroked her hair and back soothingly.

"Rachel," he mumbled, attempting for an even tone. "Daddy has to work. But he'll be back to check in on you. And Evie's in the next room. If you need daddy, you tell the girls to call me," he gruffly commanded.

Ruth shot him a look but he ignored her completely.

Rachel sniffed and pulled back though she didn't release her hold on his neck. "You come back?" she murmured uncertainly, her chin still quivering.

House nodded before he playfully cuffed Rachel on the chin and asked, "Would daddy ever just leave you and not come back? No way. You're one of his favorite girls. I'll be back to see you later. And mommy's going to pick you up tonight when she gets done working. Daddy too."

Rachel nodded, releasing his neck to wipe her eyes.

"I'll tell you a secret," he whispered to her.

Rachel's eyes widened as she waited, nodding to indicate she wanted to hear it.

He cupped his hand around her ear and loudly whispered, "They've got cookies here."

"Cookies?" Rachel asked, her voice reflecting wonder.

He chuckled at her expression and then nodded before passing her to Alicia, who was waiting to take her back.

"Daddy!" Rachel protested. "You not give me my kisses yet!"

House, though horrified to be caught being demonstrative with his kid at work, nevertheless kissed her, extremely embarrassed when she asked for a second one on the lips, which he also gave her, being that it was her first day and all. Chagrined, he then said, "Bye Rachel. I'll be back to see you later."

"Bye daddy," she replied, not completely _happy_ about it but okay with him leaving, especially since Alicia was even now working to distract her by showing her around the room and talking in low tones about all the cool stuff they had to play with.

House glanced back doubtfully but then shrugged, figuring she'd be just fine and anyway, someone _would _call him, if she needed him. Ruth moved to follow him out of the room and when the door closed behind them she called out to get his attention. "Dr. House."

He stopped and looked back at her, an eyebrow raised.

"You know, it's not the wisest thing in the world to tell a two year old to have someone call you if she needs you," she wryly remarked, smiling as she shook her head in semi-exasperation. "That opens the door to having us calling you every time she doesn't get her way."

He smirked before replying, "Not my kid. Maybe other people's brats, but not my rugrat. She's a trooper. Rachel just needs to know she _can _call me and I'll come. She might test it out to be certain but by tomorrow, that kid will be looking forward to being here. Assuming your staff is as good as you claim they are," he taunted.

Ruth's chin came up at that, nonverbally accepting his challenge to prove her staff _was _indeed _that _good. "I'm sure we'll see you around lunchtime," she serenely responded.

House's smirk increased but he nodded, turning to head out of the daycare. Tomorrow he'd alter his routine and drop the girls off before going to the gym. Today he'd just head up to his office and get to it so that he could take a longer lunch break if needed.

* * *

Cuddy glanced at her clock for the hundredth time, wondering how the transition was going. She'd called Ruth once already, who had reassured her that Rachel was doing just fine. But she was tempted to call House and double-check. She reached for her phone to do so but right then there was a knock on her office door and she sighed before replacing the receiver, looking up to find Wilson entering.

She was surprised to see him enter _without _a stack of files in his hands and was especially nervous by the expression on his face which told her this was personal, as he took a seat across her desk from her. She briefly wondered if House had called him and told him about what had been said last night. Cuddy _hoped_ this wasn't going to be a repeat of that time he'd come into her office to "talk" about her relationship with House. Or worse. She wasn't sure she could take that.

"Wilson," she acknowledged semi-curtly, forcing herself _not _to bite her lip and mask all uncertainty regarding whatever was about to go down. Trying to steady herself, she said, "You have the day off today. How come _YOU came_ in?"

Wilson was oblivious to her tone. He just sighed and rubbed his face with his free hand before meeting her gaze and stating, "Patient had a bad reaction to the chemo treatment he had this weekend."

"That far outside of what's to be expected?" she asked, her forehead wrinkling in concern. "And someone else on-call couldn't handle it for you?"

Wilson met her gaze sheepishly and shrugged. "Someone else could have handled it. I just… didn't have any objection to coming in today. I… can't _STOP _thinking about yesterday. How… how is he coping?"

For a moment she was confused as to what he was talking about, her thoughts having been consumed either by work-related matters, Rachel being in daycare for the first time today, or by the happenings of the night before and this morning between her and House. In that moment of realization dawning upon her regarding just what Wilson was referring to, she was genuinely grieved that she'd somehow completely overlooked everything that had happened the day before between Blythe and House, her thoughts a million miles away from contemplating how he was doing regarding _THAT._

She looked repentantly at Wilson and then without even thinking about how odd it was to open up to him, murmured, "He won't talk to me about it. I mean, not really. He… when he came back yesterday, he went into the living room to talk to his mom and I took the girls outside to give him privacy. Next thing I knew, Blythe comes out with House right behind her and she announces she's leaving, kisses the girls, and then heads back into the house, walking to the front door. She… I don't know Wilson," she continued, shaking her head, her eyes reflecting her confusion and skepticism. "She _smiled _when she came out to say goodbye. She acted as if nothing was _wrong_. It was as if what House had said at Erika's had never been spoken. And House… he looked like he didn't know _what _to feel. Then, at the door she hugged him. And it was a long hug but… she just gave him a quick peck on the cheek and then she was gone. She didn't say _ANYTHING _to him. She didn't even apologize. It all happened so fast I… didn't know what to make of the situation. And she got into her car and drove off, while House… he just… watched her leave, looking forlorn, and then after several minutes he shut the door and headed into his room. He didn't come back out until it was almost suppertime and then he just took the girls and went into the living room with them. He didn't say _anything _to me until after the girls were both asleep. And even then, all I got out of him was that he'd told her what really happened that day and she hadn't said anything in response, just crying before she pulled herself back together and left."

Wilson scrubbed a hand through his hair, shaking his head, his lips tightly pressed together. Reluctantly he inquired, "How did he _seem _to you?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. He… has a lot on his mind," she hesitantly admitted. "It's hard for me to judge."

Wilson gave her a quizzical look and she moistened her lips before saying, "Today's Rachel's first day at RE. Since we're living there, it just makes more sense. Especially as my nanny quit to move out-of-state."

He nodded after a long thoughtful pause but then asked, "He's working today?"

Cuddy nodded.

"Probably needed the excuse anyway so his mother couldn't rationalize trying to talk him into driving down to visit John's grave with her today. She asks him every year and every year he tells her he went to the funeral and that's good enough for him," Wilson dryly grunted, more to himself than to Cuddy.

Cuddy cringed. "You… you think she'll still go today?"

"I don't know," Wilson replied, rubbing his face with a hand. "But… I think if she does and House finds out… well, it won't be good. That's all _I_ can say. I mean, for _ME_ that just seems like a betrayal."

Cuddy slowly nodded and then murmured, "You should probably talk to him. I wanted to ask him what… really happened back then but… I wasn't so sure he'd tell me and I didn't want to push him. But you… are his best friend. Maybe he'll open up to you."

"I'll call him tonight and check in. Although maybe I will just see you all at Erika's for dinner. House and I are going bowling tomorrow night though," Wilson admitted. "But I should probably reconfirm anyway, given what happened yesterday. As if it wasn't bad enough he had to hear the truth about…"

Wilson stopped, suddenly realizing that he was talking to _Cuddy _of all people, and perhaps now sharing more than he had any right to, though of course it was possible she'd been there when Blythe had disclosed the story of House's conception to him.

"The truth about what?" she asked, her eyebrows knitting in concern.

"Nothing," he replied dismissively, brushing it aside.

Cuddy frowned, contemplating what he'd said, but she let it go, knowing better than to push him.

"You'll check on him though?" she verified.

Wilson returned his gaze to her, his eyes probing hers before he nodded. Then he got up from his seat and turned to head for the door. He paused and turned back to look at her, slightly uncomfortable.

"Just say it, Wilson," she finally stated flatly.

"He's… not at his best right now. This has been a rough weekend for him. Don't… take advantage of that," he muttered.

Cuddy crossed her arms over her chest, irked with him even though her conscious was rebuking her also in a way for how she perhaps _had _taken advantage of the situation last night in leading into a conversation she and House _needed _to have but that might not have taken place hadhe _not _been where he was last night. All the same, she defensively demanded, "How about you clarify to _me, _whether we are again working at being friends or not? Or were you just _using _me to get the information you wanted regarding House?"

Wilson looked at her, taken aback, but he did look slightly chagrined. He stared at her but then said, "Look, _IF_ I've been hard on you, it isn't because I don't… recognize that you had_ issues._ It's just… House is my best friend. And frankly, you put him through _hell_. If YOU had watched someone your best friend loved, treat them the way _you_ treated _House_, would _YOU _be interested in standing by and risking that history might repeat itself? I… I _CAN'T_ watch him go through again what he went through before. He… _wouldn't_ survive another go-round like that. In _my_ shoes, would _YOU _support _you_ in trying to win him back?"

Cuddy stared at him a moment, an echo of all House had said the night before filtering through her brain as she relived his ravaged expression and piercing words as he threw back at her all the things she had said to him and wounded him so terribly with. If _someone_ _else _had done to House what she had, she'd _never _be able to stand for them wanting back into his life. She swallowed hard and dropped her eyes before shaking her head. "I get it, Wilson," she replied finally. She couldn't give up on winning House back, it would be easier to stop breathing than to do that, but she could identify with the position Wilson was in.

He released a pent-up breath at hearing her acknowledge he wasn't without cause, his heart softening to her because for him, that meant she did genuinely have a good idea of just how much destruction she'd unleashed through her past actions and moreover, regretted it a considerable amount. It wasn't his job to punish her for what she'd done and he was not trying to, but he _was _protective of his best friend and _not _without reason. And honestly, right now, if he thought it would accomplish anything, he'd probably take a couple days off to go down and straighten _Blythe_ out. Bringing himself back to the present, he met Cuddy's eyes and gave her a half-smile.

"Cuddy, I _do care _about you. And I want you to be happy and succeed in life. I really do. But I can't foresee ever bringing myself to cross over _that line._ I can be your friend. But I _can't _be your friend to the extent of SETTING ASIDE my best friend's best interests to support you in an attempt to regain what you threw away and now want back," Wilson concluded, giving her a helpless shrug.

"Can we be friends and yet have a mutual understanding where I recognize you won't support me regarding House and you recognize that I can't _NOT _hope for the day to come when he'll allow me to love him the way I want to?" she queried straightforwardly.

He gave her a skeptical look but doubtfully shrugged, "Guess we can try."

Cuddy beamed in pleasure. She'd settle for that.

Wilson looked at her for a moment and then quietly said, "I'll see you later, Cuddy."

"Bye, Wilson," she replied softly, watching him turn and go a second later.

* * *

House hit the talk button on his phone to connect to his caller. "I'm surprised you waited _this long _to call," he quipped sarcastically.

"How is she?" Cuddy asked concernedly, ignoring his comment.

"I was just down there at lunchtime. Relax. She's fine. I stayed with her long enough to get her settled in on her cot with all the other toddlers for 'naptime'. She fell asleep pretty quickly. Had a busy morning, from what I've heard," House replied.

"And how did dropping her off go? Ruth didn't tell me," Cuddy said.

House raised an eyebrow and then asked, "You've talked to Ruth? How many times have you called _her?_"

"Just twice," she begrudgingly admitted.

House chuckled. "That explains how you've managed to wait this long," he commented dryly. "There might have been a few tears and a little clinginess, but she made it through."

Cuddy's voice was softer, more tender, when she next spoke. "Was it hard to walk away?" she asked affectionately, thinking it was… really _nice _to now have a reason to call him at work and chat for a few minutes a day.

"What do I look like?" House retorted. "She's in _daycare,_ not being shipped off to Afghanistan with the military."

Cuddy laughed breathily and something about it caused his gut to twinge, which in itself made him aware of the familiarity with which they were conversing, not that it wasn't appropriate for parents to talk about their kids like this but… there was an intimacy in this that scared him, especially after what had happened last night.

"I gotta go," he stated flatly.

Cuddy sighed but admitted, "Me too. I've signed up to help out in the clinic for an hour. Then I'm calling it a day."

"Have fun swabbing…"

"Shut up," she interrupted moodily, feigning irritation with his obvious glee in being clinic free.

"I'll see you at five," he said then.

"Okay. Bye, House," she replied, hanging up. "And… I love you," she added in a whisper after replacing the receiver, biting her lip as she smiled while thinking about their brief conversation. Getting to her feet, she tucked her phone in her pocket, grabbed her lab coat, and headed out of her office, hoping it would prove to be one of the few days each year in which the clinic had too many attendants and not enough patients to go around, instead of the other way around.

It was not to be.

* * *

House stared at the number on his phone waiting to be dialed, knowing he'd put it off long enough. The only thing was, he wasn't sure he wanted to know what awaited him on the other end of the line. If it wasn't for the fact that this was his mom who he loved and there was reason to be concerned about how she was…, he would have pushed it off. She _HAD _said she'd call him.

Hitting the talk button to connect the call, he waited. No answer. He wasn't sure if he should be relieved or not. Entering the home phone number instead, he waited once more. Answering machine.

"Mom, it's me. I just… wanted to make sure you got home safe… Give me a call when you get this." He hung up then, figuring he'd try her cell again a little later. Getting to his feet, he grabbed the stack of hated paperwork he'd been stuck doing all day without a patient to attend, slipped it in a folder, tucked it under his arm, and headed for the door to go "dispose" of it.

* * *

Cuddy walked in RE after a bit of shopping and following her stop for groceries. She began to head in the direction of the daycare but then paused and turned back to go to the front desk, getting directions to House's office. She felt a little squeamish about this, actually _seeing _the reality of House working elsewhere, but she was early and thought if she could see his office, she'd then have a visual to build off of in at least knowing _what _to imagine when she pictured him working here. If she was lucky, perhaps he'd even walk down to the daycare _with_ her.

The door to his office was open and she wandered within, even though the lights were out. His name was on the door and she ran her fingers over it before glancing around within. The thought that she was perhaps trespassing at this point, flitted through her mind, but she was much too intrigued to opt _not _to explore a little.

It was not like his office at PPTH at all. It was sizeable but more boxlike and lacked an attached room for a full diagnostic department. Glancing around, she saw signs of Cameron's presence there, such as a picture of her and Chase, as well as touches that were all House, down to one of his guitars in the corner. She hesitantly crossed his office to reach his desk and her hand trembled as it hovered in the air before picking up his ball, running her fingers over it as she passed it from one hand to the next, sentimentality stirring within her. Setting it back down, her eyes fell on a picture frame on his desk. She bit her lip as she turned it around to see it was of Evie on the day she was born. Emotion clogged her throat and she set it back down only to pick up another frame from his bookshelf, a copy of the picture of both Evie and Rachel he'd given her for Mother's Day. She ran her index finger over the girls before replacing it on the shelf. Turning, she headed back for the door, knowing she should probably leave his office since he wasn't here anyway. Then she spotted a third photo hanging in a much larger frame on the wall and had to stop to admire that one as well, one of House with both girls that she'd taken and he'd apparently liked enough to blow it up and frame it.

He'd become one of _those _guys, she thought to herself with a smile lighting up her face, knowing he'd be so annoyed by her thoughts but only because she'd be echoing his own, she was sure. Cuddy supposed she was lucky no one had apparently come from PPTH to visit him here yet, given that he had pictures of Evie for all the world to see, and while it did make her feel a sense of nervous urgency to… right that situation, she couldn't help but be jealous of the fact that he could do that, while she… could not. At least not yet.

Dropping her head and pursing her lips, she headed for the door, glancing at her watch to see it was about 4:45 now.

"Are you looking for Dr. House?" a nurse asked her as she exited his office.

Cuddy nodded.

"I think he's already left for the day," she informed her. "You could leave a note for him if you'd like."

"Thank you but that's not necessary," Cuddy replied. "I know where to find him."

The nurse looked at her inquisitively but nodded before continuing on her way. Cuddy headed back for the elevator, taking it downstairs and then making her way to the daycare.

Ruth greeted her at the door and Cuddy asked, "Well? How did it go?"

"She did just fine. I was a bit worried when Dr. House told her she could call him any time she _wanted_, but once she got familiar with the girls and the other toddlers, she was perfectly content to stay and play with everyone else. She did ask for both you and Dr. House when she woke up from her nap, but when the girls reassured her you'd be here to pick her up later, she went right back to playing."

Cuddy breathed out a sigh of relief. "And Evie?" she asked suddenly, thinking how foreign it was to ask _anyone _other than House about Evie. Asking about Rachel came automatically now. Asking about Evie did not. Because she left with House and came home with House and Cuddy just assumed she was… well, with House and under his care. But now that she was thinking about this, she really did need to start asking. That was something she'd have to make a conscious effort to change, at least until it became natural. She would _hate _for _anyone _to misunderstand her and think she was solely interested in one of her children.

Ruth smiled. The question put her in a bit of an awkward spot, because she wasn't authorized to release information about Evie to Dr. Cuddy. Thinking quickly, she replied, "Dr. House has been here since 4:30. He's got Evie and is in with Rachel, waiting for you. I'll let you go check for yourself. Rachel's pretty excited to show you what she made today. I'd hate to hold you up."

Cuddy nodded, giving her one last smile before she headed into the toddler room, quickly spotting House, Evie, and Rachel over by the windows where Rachel was pointing out the fingerpaint butterflies, caterpillars, and other insects that the toddlers had made on the windows with their hands and fingerprints. Rachel saw her and ran over, squealing, to grab her hand and drag her over to see the line of ladybugs she'd made, her name directly below them.

"Look mommy! Look! See what I did?!" Rachel happily declared, jumping up and down.

Cuddy smiled at her daughter and then met House's eyes, reading the amusement there. "Rachel, those are the most beautiful ladybugs I've _ever _seen. For a minute there, I thought they were going to crawl away!"

"Mommy, that's silly! _These _ladybugs no go nowhere! _These _ones do!" she exclaimed, taking Cuddy's hand once more to take her over to a little bug aquarium with a lid on it that had a few real ladybugs inside, along with a fat little green caterpillar and a white moth.

Cuddy oohed and aahed appropriately while Rachel beamed at her and then when House approached, Cuddy placed her hands on Evie's cheeks and smacked the baby's lips with hers before stroking a cheek softly. "How's mama's littlest sweetheart?" she asked her.

Rachel frowned and then tugged on Cuddy's skirt. "I your sweetheart," she pouted.

"Mmm, you are my big sweetheart," Cuddy agreed, kneeling to hug Rachel and then pick her up.

"And daddy?" Rachel asked curiously, looking from her mommy to her daddy and back again. "He the biggest?"

"Daddy is _no one's _sweetheart and if _anyone DARES _to call me a sweetheart, there will be no cookies for them," House drolly informed her.

Rachel quickly looked at her mother, eyes wide, and shook her head sternly. "Daddy _NOT _a sweetheart."

"What is he then?" Cuddy couldn't help asking, interested to see what Rachel would come up with.

She appeared to give the matter great consideration, frowning, and then she smiled and informed her, "He a cutie pie."

House's face was one of abject repulsion and horror and Cuddy started to laugh almost immediately.

"I am _NOT _a _cutie pie_," he haughtily stated.

Rachel smiled, looking from her daddy's disgusted look to her mommy who was still laughing at him. Deciding she had said something clearly entertaining, she merrily repeated, "Yep. You my cutie pie, daddy!"

"Great. Just _great_," House practically growled, turning towards the exit with Evie in his arms, holding Rachel's papers out for Cuddy to take, his arm extended behind him.

She took them and stepped out of the room after him before following him out to the parking lot. "Have you already heard all about her day or should I hold off on asking her about it?" she asked him.

"She's been talking nonstop since I entered the toddler room," he replied with an eyebrow crooked.

"Okay," Cuddy responded. "Then I'll take Rachel so she can fill me in on the way home. I'll see you there?"

House nodded again, unlocking his car to place Evie in her car seat before watching Cuddy walk to her car, some distance away. Climbing in, he buckled his seatbelt and then started the engine, heading for home. Halfway there, he remembered he needed to try his mother again. After dialing the number, he waited as it rang.

"Hello?" came the sound of her weary voice from the other end of the line.

"Hey mom," House replied. "I… just wanted to call and make sure you made it home okay."

"I did. It was a long drive but rather uneventful. Thank you for calling and checking in on me, Greg. That's very… kind of you," Blythe responded.

House frowned. It was _KIND_ of him?! "Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.

"Yes. No need to worry about me. I'm fine. I've just had a long day. You know…" she murmured, sounding a bit chipper.

House pulled onto his street and, though he didn't want to ask, he couldn't help doing so. "Did… did you go to the cemetery today?" he inquired, ignoring the beeps letting him know he had someone trying to call him.

"I go every year, Greg. You know that," she said weakly.

He… he did know that, he acknowledged to himself. Had he really thought this year would be any different? Why… why had he thought _that?_ Why would he think _anything _would change? House was silent for a moment as he pulled into his driveway, hitting the garage door opener. "Yeah," he finally stated somberly.

"I've got to go, dear," Blythe replied. "David… David is at the door."

"Okay. Bye mom," House quietly said.

"Bye honey. I'll… call you later in the week," she answered.

As he put the car in park, House heard the phone beep in his ear to indicate the call had been disconnected and he just sat there, holding it against his ear regardless until Cuddy pulled in next to him and then he slowly set it down on the seat beside him.

Cuddy smiled his way after climbing out and releasing Rachel from her car seat, surprised that he hadn't yet gotten out of his car and assuming he must be on the phone. But she came to a halt beside his door when he didn't even look her way but just stared down at the steering wheel. Frowning, she walked around the car to the passenger seat and tugged on the door handle. But it was locked. Rapping her knuckles against the door, she waited and after a moment House mechanically hit the button to unlock the doors. Opening the passenger seat door, she climbed in and scooted over, setting his phone on the dashboard before placing Rachel down on the far side of her. Then she directed her attention to him, reaching for his arm after a moment when he didn't acknowledge her presence beyond opening the doors for her.

"House," she murmured softly, placing her hand upon his bicep and slowly stroking his arm. "You okay?"

"No," he replied flatly, his gaze never wavering from the steering wheel. "Call Erika."

She felt a pang of hurt at that but she was about to nod in agreement when he continued. "Tell her to send Wilson over."

Though that made her feel somewhat better, she paused for a minute before asking, "Why don't I just call Wilson?"

"You can," House replied without emotion. "But he's probably over at her house already and you need to tell her we won't be coming for dinner. Or I won't, anyway. You can go if you want."

"House, I'm not going to go if you don't," she responded, biting her lip as she studied him uncertainly. She didn't know whether she should try and talk to him or just call Wilson as he'd asked her to. If he wasn't acting so odd, she probably would have given it a go and tried to get him to open up. But since he was a little off, just staring into space and honestly, scaring her because it seemed a bit too reminiscent of those final moments in her office prior to Mayfield, minus the confusion she'd witnessed then, Cuddy wasn't going to push him. Deciding to try Wilson's phone first, she grabbed House's phone, since hers was sitting in her purse on the hood of her car.

"Is there anything else you want me to tell him?" she inquired as she dialed the number from heart and then waited as it rang, searching his profile for signs of what had happened in between the time they'd left RE and he'd arrived at home.

House shook his head. Wilson wouldn't need an explanation. He would just come. Of that he had no doubt.

Wilson answered and before Cuddy could even say anything, said, "I just called you. You guys going to come over to Erika's for dinner?"

"Wilson," Cuddy interrupted, "Could you come over? House… needs you," she finished, not knowing what else to say.

"I'll be right over," he said after a moment of silence, during which she only heard the sound of his breathing coming from the other end of the phone.

"We're in the garage. And could you tell Erika we won't be over tonight?" Cuddy asked, hoping to catch him before he hung up.

"Yeah. I'll tell her," he acknowledged.

"Thanks," Cuddy murmured. But he was already gone.

Evie started to fuss in the backseat and Cuddy turned her body around in the seat, pulling her knees up onto it to lean over and unbuckle her, awkwardly lifting her out and bringing her into the front seat with them. The baby reached for House and he took her, Cuddy surrendering her without hesitation and watching as he settled her against his chest, rubbing her back as she continued to fuss a little.

Cuddy then almost hesitantly placed the palm of her hand on House's cheek, gently caressing his stubble as she tried to search his eyes. He allowed her to touch him but didn't immediately return her gaze.

"What happened?" she asked.

"My mother happened," was all he said before falling mute.

That explanation for his behavior didn't actually surprise her. In some ways, she had kind of expected something along those lines, given what had happened yesterday and how he'd acted then.

"Is your mom okay?" she asked fretfully, continuing to stroke his cheek as she put her right hand behind her to place the phone back on the dash. The last thing he needed right now was for something to have happened to his mother.

House slowly nodded and then met her gaze to say, "Evie needs her bottle. Can you take her inside with you and feed her for me?"

She breathed out a small sigh of relief at hearing Blythe was apparently fine and nodded in response to his request, but then wondered if Wilson's comment regarding how House would react if Blythe went to the cemetery anyway today, might possibly have some bearing on this situation. At that moment she spotted Wilson coming through the back window and regretfully dropped her hand from House's cheek before turning around to adjust her position, taking Evie from him before squeezing his shoulder encouragingly.

"Are you sure you don't need me?" she asked, helpless to not make sure he didn't want her to stay.

"I need Wilson," he mumbled. "Evie needs you."

Cuddy told herself she _wasn't _leaving him, because she _wasn't_. She was only going inside. But it didn't make her feel any better as she picked Rachel up as well, opening the door to set Rachel down before getting to her feet.

"What happened?" Wilson asked quietly as he held the door open for her, clearly stressed just to have Cuddy tell him that House needed him.

"His mom?" she asked uncertainly. "He hasn't really said. But he just got off the phone with her."

Wilson nodded and she caught his arm before he could climb into the car. "If he needs me, you _better _come get me," she said seriously, an edge to her tone.

He looked at her in surprise but nodded curtly before climbing into the car and shutting the door behind him.

Cuddy hesitated, watching them for a second, but then turned, taking Rachel's hand after adjusting Evie in her arms, leading her into the house and reluctantly closing the door behind her.

Wilson sat in silence beside House until Cuddy and the girls were inside. Then he turned to look at House, searching his expression for some hint of what had happened now. He opened his mouth to speak but House beat him to it.

"She went to his grave today," he stated coolly.

Wilson didn't really know how to respond to that, though his jaw clenched immediately at House's words.

"Yesterday she asked me if he really hadn't taken me to the air show and I told her no," House continued almost apathetically. "I didn't see the point in lying anymore. And how many lies can you really bury the truth in anyway? She asked where he had taken me. I told her it didn't matter; that _I_ didn't need her to know; that I didn't see how it would be helpful for her. But she wanted to know, so I ended up telling her." House repeated the story to Wilson, adding how he'd tried to burn the toolshed down later. Then he told him how his mother had reacted the day before, how she'd gathered herself back together, and how she'd then turned and left. Wilson remained silent, giving him opportunity to just talk it out, though his hands began to shake with suppressed anger.

Suddenly the apathy evaporated and House scoffed, shaking his head in disgust. "I was an idiot for telling her; for thinking she could handle hearing the truth; for believing she'd _believe ME!_ He _always_ _said _the day I told her, I'd ruin everything. Yesterday, I couldn't keep _quiet_. The words just spilled out at Erika's. And after, I thought… if anything, I'm destroying this image she's got built up in her head of who exactly John House was. But is that really such a bad thing? I'm not saying he was evil incarnate, but he wasn't the saint she exalts him to have been. And I decided I didn't _care_. I've been _sick and tired _of covering for the past all my life," House broke off, breathing hard. But then he wryly muttered, "He always said… He _ALWAYS _said I'd end up breaking the heart of the only woman who would ever be capable of standing me for any length of time. That I'd break the only woman with any potential for loving me _regardless _of the screw-up I am. And he said my mom loved him too much to _not _be heartbroken by any confession I made, _assuming _she'd believe me in the first place, so it should come as no surprise to me, should I ever decide to tell her, if in doing so, I lost her forever. And… and I thought… you know, that was _crap _he fed to a little kid who knew no better and had no one else in the world _but _his mother," House angrily stated, shaking his head. "But I guess it _wasn't crap_, was it? Because I… I _expected _she'd be able to get through this. I _expected _that she'd… love me anyway," he finished with a self-loathing grunt. "But in the end, I… expected more than I ever should have. And she… she _left _yesterday, acting like everything was fine and none of it had even happened. And she _went _to his grave today. Again, like _nothing _had _changed. _And the worst part is, I… I wouldn't even _care _about that. I could _get over _that. But what… what I _can't _understand is the fact that I _cannot _remember a _single time _when my mother has _left_ or ended a conversation with me _without _telling me she… loved me. And _of all days, _she picked _yesterday _to… Man, I'm pathetic!"

Wilson was already furious after hearing House's account of yesterday. But his fury melded then with a number of other emotions as House went on, trying to outline how he'd messed up everything in actually being _HONEST _with his mother. The bastard who had raised House had done a pretty effective job at inculcating perverse reasons into House's head as a child in order to ensure his silence regarding the past. But what pissed Wilson off even beyond that was in the moment that House managed to _stop _allowing those statements to dictate what he did or didn't do, _BLYTHE _had only reconfirmed for House that John had been right all along. And in _finally _reliving _ONE _memory with those he loved, _Blythe, _House's own _mother, _was practically… _victimizing House a SECOND time!_ And that House loved his mother and attributed her that much importance in his life as to be so affected by this, just made Wilson angrier. Before he could open his mouth to _TRY_ and undo some of the damage Blythe had done, which really, he didn't know how to _DO, _being that he wasn't _HER _and _she _was who House needed to hear from_,_ House pressed onward.

"I am an _ADULT, damn it! _I shouldn't _NEED _to hear her _REASSURE _me as if I'm seven years old again! I shouldn't need her to say _ANYTHING!_ And ALL I can _think _is that in the argument of Nature VS. Nurture, either way, I'm _screwed!_ And if I'm _screwed, _then I have _NO BUSINESS raising two little girls_, little girls who _DESERVE_ better than _THIS,_" House stated adamantly.

"Stop! Just _STOP _right there!" Wilson declared, royally pissed off, not at House per say, though House's tendency towards giving up on HIMSELF at such times and UNDERESTIMATING himself WAS aggravating to him, not because he then had to try and work him through it, for Wilson would do that gladly, but because it made him _miserable_ and feel once more _helpless_, just WATCHING his best friend try and recover. Wilson WAS pissed off; he was DEFINITELY livid regarding the man who had raised House and DECIDELY incensed at Blythe, for her hand in the disintegration of this situation, even as part of him _STRUGGLED _to rationalize that it had _ONLY _been a day since she herself had found out and maybe that had something to do with this… disaster. "House, don't MAKE me call Cameron to get her butt over here," Wilson finally worked through his rage enough to threaten.

"You _SHOULD _call Cameron," House said miserably. "She's Evie's godmother and you are her godfather. It would make sense. You should do an intervention here for Evie's sake. It's… what I would _WANT _you to do; to get her out of _this_ before I… screw up irrevocably."

Wilson rolled his eyes but then pursed his lips. "When will you _believe_ that you _aren't_ doomed to fail at this parenting thing?" he asked quietly.

House sighed and then sarcastically suggested, "How about when the girls are grown up, have become successful doctors, taken over PPTH or some _other _hospital in Jersey, live ten minutes away, and _STILL _call me every couple days to tell me their problems and get my opinion?"

"In order for that to even happen, you have to stick with this parenting thing. You can't look for someone else to take over because you are afraid of messing up. I… I have watched more times than I can count as you've walked away from something or someone you wanted because you were either too afraid to be happy or too scared you'd make someone else miserable," Wilson reminded him pointedly. "You don't get to walk away from Evie. She _needs _you in her life, House. And you need her too."

House sat there for a minute and then nodded slowly before admitting, "Wilson, I'm _upset_. I'm not an _idiot._ I'm not _going_ anywhere. I _can't_ walk away from my kids_._ I just… don't believe I will succeed in this. Look at what I _come from. _I'm going to screw it up. I suppose we'll… just hope that when I do, it isn't _that_ bad. Or that there will be a way to… make up for it, somehow," he mumbled.

"House, _YOU _are the only one who is waiting for you to screw up in this. Ask Erika. Ask Cameron. Ask me. Heck, even Cuddy would probably tell you the same thing. You're doing _GREAT._"

House nodded slightly, more to acknowledge that he knew everyone else thought he was doing perfectly fine than anything. Reality was, even _he_ was impressed with himself. It was just that he wasn't so convinced it would remain that way indefinitely. And when he blew it big time, he didn't know how he'd survive it. Changing the subject back he somberly asked, "What am I supposed to do about my mother?"

Anger reared its ugly head in Wilson's gut as he contemplated the question and _tried _to be rational. "What do you _want_ to do? I hate to say this House, but… it's only been a day. Maybe she just needs some time to work through this. If all this time, she's lived a delusion that everything was great and your… dad wonderful, it's got to have been quite the shock to have heard otherwise. Maybe… maybe all she needs is a little time."

"She went to his grave anyway, Wilson. I think that speaks loud and clear. She was happy in her delusion and she wants that delusion back. She wants that delusion so much she _walked away_ and… decided from here on out, I'm not her… son but _some stranger_ she raised yet no longer wants anything to do with. Or doesn't believe. Or… _something_. In any case, she… My dad's _dead _and she _still chooses him! _You know what? I don't even _care!_ I'm just _done with this!_ I'm walking away. I've got _my own family now._ And… she can be a part of my life _or not_. Whatever she wants! I just don't care! I can't undo yesterday! And I'm _NOT _going to apologize for bursting her bubble! I'm just… just going to call it quits! I've been alone in this _ALL MY LIFE_ and I don't _NEED _her to care or even acknowledge what happened to me. That's just _stupid._ _I'm _being stupid. She's just my mother, after all. How important is it that I have _one of those?_"

"House," Wilson mumbled awkwardly, not knowing what to say in this situation.

"No, you know what? It's over. What happened, happened. There's no going back. There's no pretending. Sometimes in life you're stuck walking a road alone. And this is mine. I spent my childhood hoping she'd realize how I was being treated without me telling her. I'm not going to spend the rest of my life trying to convince myself the day will come when she'll come around. She let me down. But I asked for it because I asked _too much_ of her. And truth is, I must have let her down too, telling her this crap now. That's my stupid fault but at least I know the road of being a disappointment like the back of my hand and so it's not like it will be a new experience for me," House concluded, reaching for his door handle and shoving the door open a moment later to climb out, heading for the house as Wilson shoved his own door open, calling after him.

-----  
_**"I walk a lonely road  
The only one that I have ever known  
Don't know where it goes  
But it's home to me and I walk alone**_

_**I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
and I'm the only one and I walk alone**_

_**I walk alone  
I walk alone**_

_**I walk alone  
I walk a...**_

_**My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone**_

_**Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,  
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah**_

_**I'm walking down the line  
That divides me somewhere in my mind  
On the borderline  
Of the edge and where I walk alone**_

_**Read between the lines  
What's f---ed up and everything's alright  
Check my vital signs  
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone**_

_**I walk alone  
I walk alone**_

_**I walk alone  
I walk a...**_

_**My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone**_

_**Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah  
Ah-ah, Ah-ah**_

_**I walk alone  
I walk a...**_

_**I walk this empty street  
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams  
Where the city sleeps  
And I'm the only one and I walk a...**_

_**My shadow's the only one that walks beside me  
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating  
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me  
'Til then I walk alone..."**_

* * *

Song: "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams" (Green Day)


	87. I Will Be

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I'm SO sorry guys!!! I wish I could have updated sooner but I had lots of issues and when I finally finished this chapter yesterday, fanfic wouldn't allow me to upload the document. This is the first moment of success I've had! Hope you enjoy it! It shouldn't be that long before my next update!! Not like this last time anyway. :))_

* * *

At the sound of the back door opening, Cuddy looked up from where she sat feeding Evie her dinner at the table, Rachel sitting in the chair next to her, and focused her gaze on the entryway into the kitchen from the back hall. Just as House came into view the garage door opened and closed once more, Wilson clearly following behind. Cuddy studied House in concern as he headed for the cabinet, pulled out a glass, and filled it at the sink with water, his face like a stone wall and intently focused on what he was doing. Then her eyes flickered to Wilson who sighed as he entered the room, one hand on his waist, the other rubbing his forehead, his eyes trained on House.

She watched as he closed the distance and while his voice was low, she could still make out what he was saying as he quietly muttered, "You didn't do anything wrong in telling her what happened, House. And there's no reason why it would make any logical sense for your mother to be disappointed in _you_. Disappointed in _herself _for being oblivious all along, maybe. In you? That makes no _sense_. You were a _kid_. What were you supposed to do about what happened back then? Stop it from happening? Do you blame _yourself _for not stopping it?"

"Wilson…" House began in an exasperated tone. "Just forget it. Let it go. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I just want to forget it."

"Seriously House, do you believe your mother is disappointed in you because you stopped the charade and revealed your father abused you? Or do you think she's disappointed in you because you think you were in some way responsible for being abused?" Wilson asked skeptically before adding pointedly, "Tell me this: if you abused Evie or Rachel, would it be _their_ fault?"

Cuddy's chair instantly and noisily scraped against the floor as she shoved it back to get to her feet, indignant at the very idea. "House would NEVER do what his father did to one of the girls, Wilson!" she rebuked him, her tone discernibly incensed at the very suggestion.

Both House and Wilson turned to look at her, surprised. Wilson's expression melded into irritation as he rolled his eyes and intoned, "I KNOW THAT! I'm just trying to get my point across! He _wasn't_ at fault."

But House studied her thoughtfully a minute, his expression wary and yet, almost on the verge of… melting into one of gratitude in hearing her say that. And in recognizing that, Cuddy bit her lip, concernedly worrying for the first time that he might really have thought she could think _he_ _would_ potentially harm one of the girls. Moistening her lips, she locked eyes with him and more softly now, said with emphasis, "House, you aren't your father. You wouldn't ever hurt the girls like he hurt you. I hope you know that, because I _certainly_ know that. In fact, there is no one I'd trust more with them than you."

House broke eye contact three seconds later, looking away, but all the same, Cuddy saw the small, almost imperceptive nod he gave in acknowledgement of what she'd said and somehow felt relief flood her to have said the little she had to him. If it was something he needed to hear, she wanted to say it. There were too many things she had yet to say that he needed to hear but wasn't willing to.

Wilson looked from one to the other doubtfully, feeling out of his depths with this whole situation regarding House's mother. Now he found himself wondering what _else _needed his attention. Shaking his head to clear his thoughts and remain on the current issue on the table, the obvious one, he directed his attention once more upon House and asked, "Want me to drive down there with you this weekend and you can talk to her about this? At least then maybe you'd know what your mom is really thinking."

House shook his head. "Forget it, Wilson. Maybe you are right and she just needs time. Either way, I just want to forget about the situation for a while."

Wilson slowly nodded, deciding there wasn't much else he could do right now. "Erika said she has plenty if you change your mind about coming over for dinner," he informed him.

House looked over at the table and noted the girls already eating. He shook his head. "Not tonight. But tell her next week, 7 o'clock, here at my house, I'll barbecue or something."

Wilson nodded before heading over towards Cuddy to greet the girls. He visited for about five more minutes before saying his goodbyes and heading back out through the garage. House came and sat down at the table then, looking world-weary.

"Are you hungry?" Cuddy inquired. "I just made something quick for the girls, since I wasn't hungry yet and figured I might as well wait until you came in to see what you were hungry for."

House looked at her as if he was weighing her words, something in him uncertainly trying to analyze why she'd be taking him into consideration at all and whether he should object to that just as a precautionary measure to keep her at a distance. But if she wasn't hungry yet, he supposed it really wasn't that big a deal. Why make it into a bigger issue than it needed to be? He had enough to deal with. "Maybe in a while I'll fix myself something to eat. Right now… I'm not all that hungry," he admitted quietly, glancing briefly at her again before smoothing Evie's hair back.

Cuddy nodded, watching his interaction with the baby who stared him with wide eyes as she gnawed on the now sodden piece of French bread in her fist. "What do you want to do tonight?" she asked then.

"Movie!" Rachel interrupted to shout her opinion.

The corner of House's mouth went up at her declaration but he shrugged, looking down at the puppy who had settled by his feet and was even now chewing on one of House's shoelaces. "I should take Monster outside," he said with some annoyance at what the puppy was busying himself doing, before reaching down and scooping the growing pup up to scratch him behind his ears.

"We taked him outside already, daddy!" Rachel informed him, stabbing multiple times at her food before meeting with any success.

"We took him outside," Cuddy corrected with a smile aimed Rachel's way as the little girl nodded her agreement.

House raised his eyebrows in surprise but nodded before getting to his feet to fill the dog's dish with food, setting Monster down and watching him for a second as he began gobbling it down like it would vanish if he didn't eat it at warp speed.

"I think I'm going to go change," House stated finally, heading out of the room.

Cuddy watched him go, wondering what she could do to reach out to him in this without pushing him too hard and driving him away.

* * *

In the end, House, Cuddy, and the girls ended up bunkering down in the living room, Rachel the only one who had her attention wholly upon the movie. Evie sat on the floor, playing with her toys, while House occasionally passed her a new toy to focus her attention on, otherwise clearly elsewhere in his thoughts. Cuddy _looked _like she was watching the movie but in reality her attention was mostly focused on House who she watched surreptitiously out of the corner of her eye from where she sat beside him on the floor, their backs leaning against the couch, allowing him twelve inches of physical distance only because she didn't want to be too obvious in her scrutiny and her desire to be near him. Cuddy took another bite of the salad she'd made herself after making House a sandwich that he'd accepted and finished a few minutes ago, finally placing her plate on top of his once she could eat no more. Evie crawled up into the space between them, fussing slightly, and dropped her head down to gum on House's hand where it lay on his leg, causing his eyebrows to raise as a small smile curved up the corner of his lips.

"It looks like someone is teething again," he mumbled before reaching for the baby, lifting her up into his lap before offering her his knuckle to gnaw on as Cuddy sighed softly at the comfort that was the "family" they'd created for themselves, forgetting the foot of space she'd been maintaining as she scooted closer, allowing her shoulder to rest against his as she reached to stroke Evie's forehead.

"Do you think she has a temperature?" Cuddy questioned House, glancing up a few inches to meet his eyes when he looked her way.

Turning the baby around in his arms, he pressed his lips to Evie's forehead, feeling for a temperature and nodded, though he was quick to say, "Nothing to worry about though."

Cuddy bit her lip at his action and then teased him for it. "You've learned the mama trick."

House rolled his eyes in mock annoyance but shrugged as he resettled Evie in his arms, his bicep rubbing against Cuddy's arm in the process. "I'm a doctor," he stated almost defiantly, his chin raising an inch in the air. "We know all about these things."

"Maybe so but doctors take temperatures with a thermometer," she replied with a smirk. "Tell me where you really learned to do that."

House was quiet for a moment as he contemplated Evie, sticking a finger in her mouth to feel her gums, but he finally admitted truthfully, "Well, maybe I've read a _little_ in trying to prepare for parenthood."

"Baby books?" she inquired in surprise, her eyes widening.

In exasperation at her incredulity he huffed, "Cuddy, it's not like I had much _choice. _I entered this _knowing _I'd be all alone in this venture into the escapades of parenthood, even if you've changed your mind now. As unbelievable as it may be, I really _didn't _want to screw up here and I _have_ made a conscious effort to _not _set myself up for failure."

Instead of taking anything he said personally, she nodded and pushed herself up onto her knees. "I'll go get the baby Tylenol," she said, receiving a nod before he redirected his attention to Evie in his lap.

Cuddy left the room thinking over what he'd said but returned a few minutes later with Evie's bottle, the Tylenol, and a teething ring. She squatted beside him and passed him the items in her hands before she surprised him completely by impulsively winding her arms around his neck from the side, pressing a lingering kiss to his cheek, following it up with another briefer one, not immediately releasing her hold on him but kissing his cheek a _third_ time, just to emphasize her point as she murmured, "Evie's too little to thank you for all you've done so allow me. Thank you, House. You are the most _unbelievably amazing_ man I've _ever_ met, have surprised me in ways that I'm _ashamed _to feel surprised by, and I… I'm _so _thankful that she and Rachel call you daddy. There isn't another man on this Earth who could have gone through all you've been through in life and still be all that you are and love them the way you do. Someday Rachel and Evie will know and understand that. But right now, I just want you to know that _I_ know and understand that and there is _no one else_ I'd rather raise children alongside. I know it's hard to believe and I haven't given you much reason to, but… I love you _so incredibly much, House_ and I… I hope _someday_ you might at least _feel_ that."

Cuddy didn't miss the absolutely _pained _expression in his eyes at her words, nor did she fail to recognize how much he was fighting himself to _not _believe her when she thought for a moment she could identify something in his eyes that made her think he might genuinely _want _to trust her words. Her belly clenched, aching for him over how he must be feeling to _have _to fight believing her. But she released her hold on him before he could tell her to, bringing her hands back before dropping them to her sides and sitting back down next to him, giving her attention completely to the movie for a minute to allow him time to process and determine what he was going to do with what she'd said. She was certain the act of affection had come at him rather unexpectedly but it had been genuine and from the depths of her House-loving soul.

She was aware of him measuring out medicine with the dropper a moment later and giving it to Evie despite her mild protests. She knew the exact moment the bottle entered Evie's mouth afterwards and their daughter started to suck down formula, House readjusting Evie in his arms. But she held to her determination to not reenter his "sphere" or try to engage him, accepting Rachel into her embrace a moment later in contentment when the tired little girl got up off the floor where she'd been lying and came over to her mother, settling herself into Cuddy's arms, her head reclining against Cuddy's chest, playing with her hair as she was sometimes prone to do when sleepy, even as her eyes remained focused on the TV screen.

"I can't be with you, Cuddy," House said out of the blue after fifteen minutes had passed.

"I know," she replied calmly, not even glancing his way as she worked to breathe evenly.

House's head turned in her direction, studying her as he frowned. "I can't _ever _be with you," he reinforced, doubting her reaction to his words.

Cuddy's heart ached within her at his all too apparent resolve but she nodded. "Okay," she murmured, determined to at least _appear _to accept that, even if the only thing she accepted was that this was where he was at _right now_, not where she hoped he'd be _in time_.

House continued to scrutinize her a moment but then turned his head back to face forward before his eyes dropped down to Evie. Cuddy blinked back the tears that welled up in her eyes, grateful when they abated rather than spilling over. There had been a whole lot of honesty between them in the past few days, especially the last twenty-four hours, and it was more honesty than they'd allowed for in the past twenty years combined, something to be marveled at in that it had even _taken place_, but it hadn't been _easy_ and she understood that honesty didn't carry with it the promise of _immediate change _OR _acceptance._ They had a long ways to go. While she had promised herself she'd be as vulnerable as she could be, as vulnerable as he must find himself right now given all that had happened to him this weekend, Cuddy also knew acceptance of his position in this would go farther than direct opposition, tears might only cause House to push her farther away, and… Wilson had reminded her once again with his words earlier that she wasn't exactly in a position to _demand ANYTHING_ of House, so proceeding with caution really seemed the best way to go. He surprised her though when he spoke up next, for she'd assumed all that would be said tonight in regards to them, _had _been said.

"Do you remember our trip to Georgia over Spring Break?" he quietly mumbled, the question extended quickly as if it would never be voiced otherwise while he shifted uncomfortably beside her. He didn't really know why he was bringing this up but it just made sense that if he was going to tell her this as he said he would one day, he should just get it over with while she seemed to be at a place where she could understand that he wasn't telling her because he wanted it to matter to her personally or affect anything, but just telling her so that she'd know.

Cuddy dared to glance at him, her eyes softening just at him bringing it up as she bit her lip and nodded slightly. It was a silly question because they both knew she did, but Cuddy was careful to respond correctly to the question so he wouldn't just shut down and stop himself from taking this wherever he intended to take it, ruining the tenuous atmosphere they'd apparently achieved somehow in the last few minutes between what she'd said and the direction he appeared to be heading in.

House nodded, not looking at her, his jaw working for a minute. Then he swallowed hard and gruffly asked, "You remember when we danced to 'Georgia On My Mind' and I stupidly echoed the line that says 'There'll always be Georgia' and you replied equally cheesy to say, 'The road leads back to you'?"

Cuddy smiled slightly, recalling that with affection even though she wasn't sure she would have remembered that specifically without his prompting. "Mmm. I don't know how you _remember _the things you do," she murmured softly. "But yes, I remember."

House inhaled through his nose and then released it without moving, his gaze intently lingering on Evie now. "You asked me why I named her Georgia and I said I'd tell you someday."

Cuddy waited, biting her lip as she slowly nodded her encouragement for him to continue, her hand automatically coming up from where she'd been stroking Rachel's hair to reach out and finger a lock of Evie's dark curls. She didn't realize she was holding her breath until after he finally spoke.

House huffed out a breath, forcing himself to just spit it out. "I thought one day we'd end up back in Georgia. Not under the circumstances in which we did," he grimaced, looking away before he continued. "But I _hoped _to take you back again, after that first time. And when everything fell apart, when you were pregnant with my kid but didn't want… to be with me, I thought… it was _obvious _that everything we'd been through… well, we were never meant to be together, Cuddy, I know that now. But maybe it all _happened _to… maybe the roads we were walking separately converged because they were _meant _to lead to _her._ Georgia was the place where _we _were at our best. _Together_. And Evie's the best thing that could have ever come from you and I… combining," he stated lamely. "I know that's… stupid, but… you wanted to know and… now you do," he finished, swallowing hard again as he shifted uncomfortably once more, though he could admit to himself he was thankful to have that over with and have one less thing he'd ever have to share with her.

Cuddy inhaled sharply, her lungs suddenly burning from the lack of oxygen intake even as she visibly trembled at his explanation, her head tossing slightly from side to side as her shoulders straightened at his honesty. She moistened her lips even as tears slipped down her cheeks, the salty moisture meeting her tongue as it peeked out to wet her lips. Bringing a hand up to her face, she brushed aside the tears before swallowing against the lump in her throat. "That is NOT stupid, House," she corrected when she could speak, her hand reaching out to clutch at his arm. "That is… That is the most _beautiful _explanation you could _ever_ have given me under the circumstances in which Evie was born and… _Thank you _for being willing to tell me that. I know you didn't have to and probably didn't even _want _to."

House shrugged, setting the empty bottle aside, still avoiding her gaze. "Just don't tell anyone," he muttered awkwardly as if in embarrassment, a side of House she recognized more readily rising to the surface. "I've got a reputation to protect."

Cuddy laughed then, wiping away more tears. "I wouldn't dream of it," she quipped breathily, rubbing his arm lightly before removing her hand when his eyes fell on it, his forehead wrinkling in response.

"I'd like to explain myself… what happened… why I… pushed you away, House," she hesitantly mumbled after a minute, being careful to not say the one name that had set him off and probably led him to run the night before.

He shook his head quickly. "I don't want an explanation, Cuddy," he stated, negating her offer as he burped Evie on his shoulder.

Cuddy bit her lip but nodded in acceptance. "When you do then…" she murmured.

"I _won't_ ever want one," he interrupted adamantly, shaking his head again. "If you and I can work this out so that we can raise the girls _together_, then that's all I'll ever ask of you. I knowenough of what happened. I don't want to know more than I already do. It wouldn't change anything anyway. And it certainly wouldn't fix what's broke beyond repair. Things are fine the way they are. I don't want them to be any different. They _can't_ be any different."

Cuddy pursed her lips, anxiety pooling in her belly as she nodded slowly in acknowledgement of what he'd said, hating that she saw nothing else for it but to accept his words as _his truth_ right now. Biting her lip she murmured, "Thanks for giving me that box of… all you've saved over the years. I… No one's ever done anything like that for me before or… made me feel like I meant that much to them, to justify going to such lengths to. I guess what I'm trying to say is… it means a _lot_ to me, House, and it… helped me better understand why you left as you did and how you felt about… us."

House looked away but casually said, "You can hold onto it or give it back to me. It doesn't matter. I'm just hanging onto all of it for Evie to have when she gets older."

Cuddy looked at him in surprise and softly asked, "You're saving it for Evie?"

He flattened his lips against each other but then mumbled, "What else do I have to offer her? A kid should know that even if things didn't work out for her parents to be together in the long run, it doesn't mean that love was absent from the deal. I mean, if you can claim that. And since I can offer that knowledge truthfully, someday I figure she'll deserve to see evidence of it. If I was her, _I'd _want some evidence. She's going to have enough crap to deal with. Might as well show her that it wasn't all bad between you and me."

"It _wasn't _all bad, House," Cuddy replied, swallowing hard against the knot of emotion in her throat. "And from here on out, it _won't _be bad. Not like it got when I…"

"Rachel's asleep," he interrupted to inform her, jutting his chin out in the toddler's direction, leery of what she might have been about to say.

Cuddy fell silent, fighting tears, but she looked down, confirming his words before shifting Rachel carefully to get to her feet. "I'll put her to bed," she softly mumbled in reluctance.

House nodded, watching her go before reaching for the remote, turning the TV off before setting Evie down so that he could get up, then picking her back up to carry her into her bedroom so that he could change her and get her into her pajamas as well. Though he set her down in her crib, hoping she'd just fall asleep on her own, her hearty protests sent him first into the kitchen to wet a washcloth down and place it in the freezer before he went back into the living room to retrieve his guitar, finally returning to the room, though he left her in the crib as he dragged the rocking chair over to her and began to strum out some chords, a song just coming to him all on its own.

* * *

Cuddy pressed a kiss to Rachel's forehead before heading out of the room, closing the door most of the way behind her. Her ears picked up the strains of a guitar from downstairs and she went back down, listening as House's voice came to her a moment later from Evie's open doorway, softly singing the smooth lyrics to the Alternative Ryan Adams song he was playing. She was surprised by his choice but then she kind of liked Ryan Adams herself. She'd stumbled upon his song "Avalanche" while flipping radio stations in the car and it had made her think of her own issues from the last couple years and the numbness of the weeks following Evie's birth, more than once.

Focusing on House's mellow tone, she continued down the last short flight of steps, taking in the lyrics contemplatively.

"_Will you comfort me in my time of need?  
Can you take away the pain of hurtful deeds?  
'Cause when we need it most, there's no rain at all  
And the dust just settles right there on the feed_

_Will you say to me a little rain's gonna come  
When the sky can't offer none to me?  
'Cause I will come for you  
When my days are through  
And I'll let your smile just off and carry me"_

Closing the distance, she leaned against the doorframe of Evie's room, watching him as he sang quietly while playing the guitar, Evie lying on her belly in the crib, a bit whiny, her head raising and lowering from the mattress as her eyes worked hard to fight against sleep's pull, focused on her daddy and what he was doing as she finally allowed her head to drop onto the mattress, laying there blinking heavily as he continued on. Cuddy wondered briefly _whose hurtful deeds _he might be referring to; hers, his mother's, or those his father had inflicted upon him long ago. But after their conversation, she personally assumed he might very well be dwelling on all that still lay between them and Cuddy _hated _knowing it was there and they were both aware of it, but there seemed to be no way around it and he was refusing to allow her to attempt plowing through it for him.

"'_Cause when the calm comes down  
I take the truck on into town  
And buy whatever we can't seem to grow  
I work these hands to bleed 'cause I got mouths to feed  
And I got fifteen dollars hid above the stove_

_Will you say to me a little rain's gonna come  
When the sky can't offer none to me?  
'Cause I will come for you  
When my days are through  
And I'll let your smile just off and carry me_

'_Cause it ain't like it was on back in those days  
When everyone would offer up a hand  
These old bones are worn  
I've grown tired some  
And I know my time is surely gonna come"_

Evie's eyes were closed now but House continued to play, Cuddy's eyes upon him feeling like she was intruding as he hadn't yet detected her presence and seemed intently focused on the sleeping infant before him and the guitar in his hands, but she was unable to walk away and so she lingered there in the doorway.

"_Will you comfort me in my time of need?  
Can you take away the pain of hurtful deeds?  
'Cause I will comfort you when my days are through  
And I'll let your smile just off and carry me"_

Cuddy listened as he continued playing, though he was no longer singing along. He glanced her way a moment later, having realized she was present, and then he stopped strumming, setting the guitar aside before getting up, returning the chair to its spot and grabbing his guitar to hang it back up in the living room.

Cuddy followed him back out into the living room after turning out the light and checking on Evie.

"She's not sleeping on her back," she worriedly reminded him.

House glanced back at her and shrugged. "She'll be fine. And more than likely, she'll be awake again in a while for more medicine. Teething just makes her cranky. She won't sleep in that crib tonight. Not for very long. Kid's got a mind of her own already and I'll be too exhausted by the time she wakes up to fight her."

"I could take the nightshift this time," she offered before somewhat teasingly adding, "Wouldn't want you to be the only one losing sleep during the baby stage."

House stared at her, wrestling with this one. The strange thing was, as much as he might claim to object to the loss of sleep, these nights were a temporary situation and he perhaps _enjoyed _the nighttime clinginess of Evie's teething ritual more than he should. This would probably fall into one of those categories of care his mother would label as Cuddy's responsibility and his feelings into what a "mother" would feel, but he was writing off his mother's opinion of parenting anyway, especially as she was doing such a lousy job of it right now with him, so he dismissed that internal objection that he wasn't being "man" enough in this situation. Besides, would it really matter to Cuddy whether he did it or she did? Unless Cuddy wanted to make a big deal of this, he saw no reason _not_ to just turn her offer down. Anyway, if he let Cuddy take Evie, it wasn't as if he'd sleep comfortably. Cuddy had said earlier today that she trusted him with both of the girls and yet House almost guiltily _knew _he couldn't really say the same thing, even if his reasoning had _nothing _to do with worrying over Evie'swellbeing while under Cuddy's care but his own issues and unresolved conflicts with her past disregard for… the things of his heart.

"I can handle it, House," she dryly informed him when he didn't immediately respond but looked doubtfully at her. "I've done it before."

Looking for excuses now, he said, "Cuddy, she's going to be cranky and she's going to want…"

"Let me take care of her tonight," she interrupted him to declare. "I _want _to. And you could use some sleep. The last few days have been nightmarish for you."

House rolled his eyes but ignored her comments. "It doesn't make _sense _for you to do it. Your bedroom is upstairs. Mine is right next to hers. I'll hear her long before you do, even if I give you the monitor," he pointed out.

"So I'll camp out in your bed until she wakes up next," Cuddy slyly volunteered, flashing him a cheeky smile.

"NOT going to happen," House dryly replied, shaking his head sternly in rebuke.

"Buzzkill," she muttered under her breath without apology before thinking it over and saying, "I'll sleep on the couch then. When she wakes up next, I'll just take her upstairs with me."

House gave her a look but right at that moment Evie started to cry and Cuddy looked at him in triumph. "Well, that's settled. I'll just take her upstairs with me _now_."

House sighed but nodded curtly. "How you think it's a _good _thing that she just slept for fifteen minutes and then woke up is beyond me. That's not a good sign for _either_ of us, regardless of which one of us is up with her. But fine. Whatever. If she needs me, you know where to find me." And with that he motioned for her to go ahead, detouring into his bedroom when she stepped into Evie's, still smiling that she'd won thanks to Evie's timely cry.

It wasn't until two hours later when Evie was still fussing, rejecting the teething ring Cuddy had retrieved, that she started to realize this might not work out the way she'd hoped.

* * *

House lay in bed, his arms folded up under his head supporting it, wondering how Cuddy and Evie were fairing. He was determined _not _to go check on them, but that just meant he lay awake, waiting to hear something that would indicate it _wasn't_ going so well and Evie needed him. Then again, he reminded himself, it _was _possible that Cuddy had gotten her to sleep and he was the only one still awake in the house.

His thoughts shifted to earlier in the evening, picturing Cuddy's indignant expression when Wilson had tried to force him into acknowledging verbally that it hadn't been his fault that his dad had abused him by bringing the girls up. Once again he heard an echo of her words reverberating through his head. _"House would NEVER do what his father did to one of the girls, Wilson!"_ Which was followed up by, _"House, you aren't your father. You wouldn't ever hurt the girls like he hurt you. I hope you know that, because I certainly know that. In fact, there is no one I'd trust more with them than you."_ And the funny thing was, Cuddy didn't really know much at all about how his father had "hurt" him, but regardless of whether she was under the impression that it was less or the opposite, that it was worse than the little she knew, she clearly believed House would not repeat that cycle with Rachel and Evie and that both… intrigued and confounded him. Cuddy was… like a mixture of all the different sides of Cuddy he'd seen over the years, all at the same time, except she _wasn't, _and he knew that made no logical sense, but it totally threw him off. It wasn't a _good_ thing. It was too bewildering to be good, especially in light of his aims to not let her close. And yet it was a… _nice _thing, in a scary, _intimidating_ way. The _touching, cheek-kissing, affectionateness…_ pleasant, her words often… somewhat _flattering, _but _all_ of it… _WHOLLY inappropriate_ to their _lack _of a relationship; to their lack of a future together. It was enough to make him question if giving up Scotch had been a good idea after all, because he could really use a drink to mull this over with. Turning over onto his side, he tried to push aside the puzzle and force sleep to come. And that was when the sound of crying finally reached his ears.

* * *

Cuddy carried Evie downstairs with her, ready to make her another bottle and see if that wouldn't lull her to sleep, beginning to worry Rachel would wake up too if the crying continued much longer. She grumpily glanced at House's door as it came into sight, knowing right now he probably was aware she'd failed in this venture. She _hated _seeming incapable in anyone's eyes, having striven to prove herself for too many years now.

Entering the kitchen, she prepared the bottle, waiting all the while for him to come out and give her an "I told you so" look before taking Evie from her. When it didn't happened she pursed her lips, doubtfully wondering if he could really sleep through _this, _when he wanted to. She found it rather unlikely.

Evie rejected the bottle, crying all the harder as crocodile tears began their descent down her wet cheeks. Cuddy hushed the baby and made her way into Evie's room, rocking her in the rocking chair and hoping she wouldn't disturb House too much in the process.

She looked up when he did show up in the doorway ten minutes later in his pajama pants and t-shirt, studying her and Evie for a moment before turning and heading back out. When he returned and passed her a frozen washcloth, she gave him a half-smile at the irony of how she'd fought for this only to be struggling to get anywhere in the process of getting Evie back to sleep and now needing him to come to her aid, before offering the washcloth to Evie who willingly gnawed on it, still fussing lightly.

"Thanks," Cuddy said with a sigh of relief when it seemed to improve the situation.

"Yeah," he mumbled, yawning before he turned to head back for his room.

At the sound of his voice though, Evie realized he was present and she started to twist in Cuddy's arms to find him. House had already left the room and was probably back in bed now, but it didn't take a genius to determine Evie might not settle for anything less than having her daddy nearby, once she started chanting da-da around the bit of frozen washcloth in her mouth, her fussing increasing in volume over the course of the next few minutes.

Well, at least it would give her an excuse to be back in his bedroom sooner than she'd ever expected to be, Cuddy thought to herself as she got to her feet with Evie and headed for his room, rapping the door once before turning the knob and entering to climb up on his bed beside him a moment later as Evie reached for him.

"She wants you," Cuddy mumbled, slightly chagrined to admit defeat and cave so easily to their daughter's demands as she passed the baby to him once he'd sat up and was against the headboard, taking the washcloth away until he had Evie situated and reached for it, returning it to her mouth before looking at Cuddy in the darkness with a quirky smile.

"Don't you _dare _tell me you knew this would happen," she declared in annoyance, crossing her arms over her chest at the look on his face, her determination kicking back in. "I'm not giving up. I just don't see the point of fighting her in this if she wants you right now and you're awake anyway. Get her back to sleep and I'll take her upstairs again. This is really _your _fault. If she hadn't heard your voice when you came in, she'd have never known she could have you if she wanted to."

House grunted, an eyebrow raised as he looked at her pointedly. "_My _fault?" he asked wryly. "I bring you a washcloth to help you out and it's _my _fault that she wants me? I tried to tell you. You wouldn't listen. You _chose_ this. You _chose _to lose sleep tonight to play house with a crabby, teething infant."

"Well… if you weren't such a… good dad," she muttered half-heartedly, knowing it was a backhanded compliment, but annoyed with the fact that Evie was no longer fussing and all she could hear was the sound of her sucking on the wet washcloth. "Maybe she'd let her mommy take care of her one night so her daddy could have a break."

Cuddy caught the flash of teeth as House smiled in the dark and her stomach flip-flopped at being responsible for that even as she tried to cling to her sulkiness so that she could argue her case for staying in his room awhile, though she hadn't yet announced that was her intention in _any _way, shape, or form but was really just waiting for him to get around to bringing the subject up. She'd like to play house with him right now, she wryly thought to herself, going over his accusation in her mind now.

"Yeah, because that's definitely something to be annoyed at," House finally replied, his voice reflecting his continued amusement.

"Wait until the tide changes in fifteen years, House, when Evie decides I'm phenomenal because I have makeup and clothes she can borrow," she threw out, wanting to bicker with him a bit if he was in the mood for it. "How are you going to compete with that? You can talk shop but _I _can talk _boys._"

"I won't have to compete with that because she won't be _allowed _to wear makeup or your skimpy outfits in fifteen years, nor will boys be a subject up for discussion under my roof," he contended before he shot back with, "Besides, I thought teenage girls always hate their mothers."

"Ugh, you're just being mean now," she testily replied. "And my clothes are _not skimpy._"

House hadn't meant to bring up her wardrobe and the fact that he had unconsciously done so made him a little uncomfortable. Best to get this conversation back on track ASAP. "Go to sleep, Cuddy," he instructed.

"Fine," she mumbled, scooting down and under his blankets. "Let me know when she's asleep and I'll take her back."

"I meant, go sleep in _your_ bed," House stated, rolling his eyes.

Cuddy turned onto her side to look at him and drolly said, "Well, I can't take her back once she's asleep if I'm not here to… take her back."

"I've got her," he responded. "Once Evie's out, she'll probably stay that way as long as I don't move her too much."

"But I _want _to be a part of this," she whined before grumbling, "She's my daughter too. Even if she won't verbally acknowledge that yet."

House narrowed his eyes but relented as his mouth battled against the smirk he was resisting due to her words. "Fine. Just… stay on that side of the bed then," he ultimately muttered. "Once she's out, you can have her back. Though if she wakes up, it will be _your _fault and you are on your own in getting her back to sleep."

"Deal," she murmured, sinking deeper into his spare pillow, her eyes fluttering shut as she listened to the sound of Evie's rhythmic sucking and House's breathing coming from where he sat not too far away from her. She wondered if he really would wake her up if she fell asleep to send her on her way. Somehow she doubted it and _that _made her smile as she tucked a lock of hair back behind her ear, surprised at how quickly she'd made her way back into his bed. Who would of thought she'd have her daughter's teething to thank for this turn of good fortune?

* * *

House breathed a sigh of relief when Evie was out for the count, tossing the wet washcloth that had now softened completely across the room towards the laundry hamper. He frowned, his gaze turning to land upon Cuddy where she lay beside him, her even breathing indication enough that she too had fallen asleep. His eyes crept over her features for a moment while he thought about waking her up as he'd told her he would. But he really was too tired to have to go another round if Evie woke up and as the baby was contentedly sleeping on his chest, it just made more sense to not disturb her if he didn't have to. Without thinking, he reached over and moved a curl from Cuddy's cheek, clenching his jaw when he realized what he was unconsciously doing. She was _not _one of the girls. He couldn't treat her like she was. He had to instill some sort of _no tenderness _policy where she was concerned. And it better start right now.

Refocusing on his position, he carefully eased himself down the bed, one arm around Evie to keep her as still as he could. Reaching behind him, he moved the pillows about to give him the support he'd need for a night semi-upright. Then he lay back down, telling himself he hadn't moved a foot in Cuddy's direction for any reason other than that he didn't want to be too close to the edge with Evie on his chest and that he wasn't allowing Cuddy to sleep with him again for any other reason than because it would be inconvenient to have to repeat the efforts of the past few hours to get Evie to sleep in the first place, should she wake up in the transfer. After all, this certainly didn't have to _mean_ _anything. _Closing his eyes, he reaffirmed to himself that he wasn't really intentionally inhaling the smell of her shampoo or committing to memory the faint traces of her perfume when it wafted his way. That was just… unavoidable. But right before he fell asleep, House's _last_ thought was how he _needed _to become a _better _liar, if only where _she_ was concerned. That way he might actually believe the crap he told himself in order to justify the dangerous path he was treading too close to.

* * *

Cuddy groaned in objection as she woke up the next morning, something or _someone_ insistently tugging on a fistful of her hair while a steady rumble met her ears. Scrunching her eyes tightly shut first, she regretfully opened her eyes to find Evie's wide orbs inches from her own, a trickle of drool pooling on House's t-shirt clad chest to the right of where Cuddy's head lay, apparently now sharing the space with her daughter to some extent, having obviously _crossed _the invisible line House had drawn down the center of the bed the night before; the line she was _supposed _to have stayed on the other side of.

Evie cooed happily to see her mama awake and giving her some attention, which had probably been her goal in yanking on her mama's hair in the first place. Cuddy smiled back at her daughter before lifting a hand to stroke her cheek, wiping away what remained of the trail of drool that was exacerbated by the tooth coming in. Slowly untangling herself from House, she sat upright, brushing her hair back out of her face before righting her pajamas and reaching to carefully move his hand from Evie's back so that she could ease the baby into her arms. His soft snoring ebbed for a second but started right back up a few seconds later, bringing a smile to her lips.

Glancing up at him, she got to her knees, settling the baby in her arms while she studied him as he slept. Her heart swelled up within her as she took in his appearance: scruffy cheeks; his lips parted and mouth ajar, the source from whence came his… _cute_ snoring; eyes shut; neck back at an angle that made _her _neck ache; hair definitely showing signs of bed head as it stood straight up in spots. _This _was the man she was in love with, the man who she had no idea _how _to _convince_ she loved beyond understanding. And she'd hurt him. She knew that. The last few days served as a testament to just how badly she had hurt him. Oh, he'd hurt her too. There was no denying that. But somehow never _enough _to get him out of her heart. And _obviously, _it didn't seem like he'd had any more success in that than she had, even if he didn't _want _to love her right now. She'd let him down. BUT, this time, she KNEW she wouldn't. No, _this time, _she was going to be _all _he needed and wanted. She was putting herself back together again – _had _put herself together again, for the most part anyway. And if they could just stick together from here on out, she was _convinced _they'd all end up alright in the end. Oh no. There was _NO WAY _she was letting him get away again. This was it. _HE _was _it. _And _he _was hers, no matter _what _he believed to the contrary. He was all she needed. And someday, he'd feel the same way regarding her, because she had every intention of becoming his everything too.

Cuddy returned her gaze to his mouth, biting her lip and wondering if she could steal a kiss without disturbing him, at least just… _lightly brushing _her lips against his before the opportunity was lost to her. Reaching for the headboard, she steadied herself as much as she could, carefully moving her upper body closer to his face, hovering just inches over him before she stopped breathing at what she was attempting to do while he _snored _centimeters now before her face, an almost laughable situation if she wasn't so desirous of this kiss, her eyes lowering as she brought her lips closer to his, feeling his warm breath against her lips as she swallowed before moistening and parting hers slightly, knowing this had to be the softest of kisses or she might awaken the beast within him and get yelled at for what she was doing. His closed eyes directly before her own though her head was slightly turned to the side, she closed the remaining distance, feeling her bottom lip _finally _make contact with his.

If only she hadn't overlooked Evie's intention to be an active participant in this affair; if only she'd been more aware of where the baby's hands were; if only she'd been able to stop her from reaching out and cuffing House's jaw and waking him up; if only House hadn't immediately startled, banging his forehead with hers as he swiftly sat up, knocking her and Evie back on the bed, _completely ruining ALL her well-laid plans to get just ONE kiss out of the deal_. If only.

-----

"_**There's nothing I could say to you  
Nothing I could ever do to make you see  
What you mean to me  
All the pain, the tears I cried  
Still you never said goodbye and now I know  
How far you'd go **_

_**I know I let you down but it's not like that now**_  
_**This time I'll never let you go**_

_**I will be all that you want and get myself together**_  
_**'Cause you keep me from falling apart**_  
_**All my life, I'll be with you forever**_  
_**To get you through the day and make everything okay**_

_**I thought that I had everything**_  
_**I didn't know what life could bring**_  
_**But now I see, honestly**_  
_**You're the one thing I got right**_  
_**The only one I let inside**_  
_**Now I can breathe 'cause you're here with me**_

_**And if I let you down, I'll turn it all around**_  
_**'Cause I would never let you go**_

_**I will be all that you want and get myself together**_  
_**'Cause you keep me from falling apart**_  
_**And all my life, I'll be with you forever**_  
_**To get you through the day and make everything okay**_

_**Without you I can't breathe**_  
_**I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave**_  
_**You're all I got, you're all I want, oh**_  
_**'Cause without you I don't know what I'd do**_  
_**I can never, ever live a day without you**_  
_**Here with me, do you see you're all I need?**_

_**And I will be, all that you want and get myself together**_  
_**'Cause you keep me from falling apart**_  
_**And all my life, I'll be with you forever**_  
_**To get you through the day and make everything okay**_

_**I will be all that you want and get myself together**_  
_**'Cause you keep me from falling apart**_  
_**And all my life, I'll be with you forever**_  
_**To get you through the day and make everything okay"**_

* * *

Song: "I Will Be" (Leona Lewis)

* * *

(earlier included song: "In My Time Of Need" (Ryan Adams))


	88. Heartbreak Warfare

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Sorry guys! I know this story just seems to go on and on and on but it keeps GROWING and I just can't stop it from happening!)_

* * *

House grunted, falling back against the headboard and rubbing his forehead with one hand, his eyes scrunched closed in pain. "_Ow! _That _hurt!_" he groaned out before he opened his eyes to determine why he now had a throbbing headache. "_Cuddy!_"

"I'm _sorry!_" she exhaled from where she lay before him, rubbing her own forehead with her free hand, Evie thankfully still carefully sheltered against her chest though she was whimpering at the sudden trajectory of being shot backwards and from the jolt of them hitting the bed which had jarred her into Cuddy's shoulder. "I didn't expect Evie to hit you like that, waking you up."

"Why were you that close to me in the first place?! What were you doing?!" he demanded to know.

Cuddy tried to think quickly but all the same, she grappled for an excuse that would satisfy House and keep him from being too suspicious. She'd felt the impact of Evie's hand against his face even as the sound of the smack resounded in her ears. The combination of the two had caused her to draw back immediately, putting space between their mouths, but as he'd jerked forward and slammed his head into hers, there wasn't much hope of convincing him she _hadn't _been unnaturally close. She _might _be able to cover for what she'd been _trying_ to do, but to what extent she just didn't know.

"Just FYI, this is not exactly how I like to wake up in the morning," he grumbled sarcastically, now massaging his neck as well before eyeing her suspiciously. "What _were _you doing?" he repeated.

Glancing desperately around the room, she moistened her lips before declaring, "I was just going to turn off your alarm clock so that it didn't wake you up. I thought…"

House glanced at the alarm clock, noting there was NO WAY she'd ever have succeeded in reaching it and then interrupted her to call her on it. Looking pointedly from her to the alarm clock, he flatly stated, "Cuddy, that's total crap. What were you _really _up to?"

Cuddy bit her lip but then glanced away before reluctantly murmuring, "I was just um… watching you sleep."

"From a couple inches away?!" he questioned in skepticism.

"You looked so peaceful, I couldn't help myself," she was quick to reply. "Evie was awake but since she hadn't yet woken you up, I thought a few minutes of watching you before getting up to change her wouldn't hurt anything. I didn't mean for us to wake you up. Especially not like that." Okay, so it wasn't the complete truth but it wasn't an outright lie, either. Sitting upright again and patting Evie's back reassuringly, Cuddy asked, "Can I go get you something for your head? I don't think it's going to bruise but maybe you want some Tylenol?"

House gave her one last probing look but then seemed to oddly enough, buy her excuse as he shook his head and gingerly climbed off the bed, reaching for his alarm clock and turning it off before it sounded. "I've got meds in my bathroom cabinet," he mumbled. "I'll get it. But no more sleeping in here. Watching me sleep… That's so stalker_ish_," he grumbled.

Cuddy clicked her tongue in admonishment of his pointed remark, trying to hide her disappointment that he was once more raising objection to sharing a bed together. "I'm _not _a stalker. I just happen to think it's _nice_ to see you all relaxed and peaceful. That's all. It doesn't happen very often. Especially not lately."

Turning, she scooted to the opposite edge of the bed, biting back a sigh of relief that it hadn't gone worse before lowering her feet to the floor. "I'll go change Evie while you do what you have to do to get ready," she murmured, making a quick exit from his room, House yawning as he got up to go into his bathroom.

"You almost got mommy in BIG trouble," she whispered into Evie's ear with a soft, chagrined smile once they were in her bedroom, pressing a kiss to Evie's cheek and setting her down on the changing table. "You couldn't have waited until _after _mommy stole a kiss from daddy to wake him up?" she asked in irony of having come so close and met with no success.

Evie cooed happily in response, batting her arms in the air as her legs kicked once free of their confinement in the sleeper she had on.

"You're supposed to take mommy's side in this," she informed her somberly after securing a clean diaper to Evie's little body and before blowing raspberries on her belly. "Trust me," she wryly pressed on. "Mommy could use the support."

Evie giggled and squirmed, her hands latching into Cuddy's hair and tugging enthusiastically until Cuddy winced and then managed to untangle her fingers, loosening her tresses from the baby's grip, straightening to walk over to the closet after picking the baby up to find an outfit for her to wear. Once she had the outfit in hand, Cuddy headed out of the room with Evie, going upstairs to shower with her after noting House's closed bedroom door, figuring that he wouldn't care and would know that Evie was with her.

She stopped at Rachel's room to verify that she was still sound asleep before she continued on to her room. Carrying the baby into the bathroom with her, she started the shower up and then set Evie down on the floor to brush her teeth before stripping down, undoing Evie's diaper once she herself was naked. Settling Evie on her hip, she reached into the shower to check the temperature. And that was when Evie did something totally unexpected, at least to Cuddy's thinking, bobbing her head and latching her mouth onto her mommy's breast as if she knew what it was there for, despite it being months upon months since Cuddy had a milk supply.

She startled, jerking upright at the sudden contact and crying out when Evie responded by biting down. "_Evie!_ That _hurts!" _she exclaimed, working a finger into the baby's mouth while grimacing, managing to unlock the hold Evie had on her to free herself a second later.

Evie's chin started quivering and the baby burst into tears, just bawling. Cuddy felt awful then and adjusted Evie in her arms so the baby's head was tucked into her neck (her breasts now out of harm's way), working to comfort her. "Mommy's sorry! She didn't mean to scare you. She probably should have considered you might do something like that but… she didn't think about it. You aren't supposed to know what those are for. Well, you _are, _but since mommy… failed you in that area, you shouldn't," she amended, choking up.

Cuddy bit her lip, her eyes welling up with tears not from the bruise she knew was even now forming on her breast and the lingering pain there, but because of the reminder of just how much she wished looking back that she _had _breastfed Evie when she was born. There was no way Evie would get anything from her now, which was to be expected, but it still made her feel terrible. And that was kind of silly, because she knew Evie hadn't been thinking of her breast's purpose when she'd done what she'd done. Of that, Cuddy was certain. Even if there _were_ potential similarities between Cuddy's nipple and the nipple of a baby bottle and Evie was most likely starving right now. Evie had no idea that once upon a time she _could _have gotten sustenance from Cuddy's body. But regardless, her action probably shouldn't have been so unexpected. After all, her breast had been right there, probably beckoning to be bit as Evie was teething and at a stage where practically everything in reach inevitably made it into her mouth. Wiping at her tears, Cuddy pressed a multitude of kisses to Evie's head, noting the baby was no longer crying but sniffing dramatically.

"Oh baby, mommy really is _so_ sorry," she murmured into Evie's hair while recognizing that time was slipping away from her and they needed to get in that shower before too much time passed and Rachel woke up, though thankfully, the gate to the stairs _was _secured.

Stepping carefully inside the shower, she tightened her hold on Evie before stroking her back soothingly, leaning back to soak her own hair thoroughly in order to wash it. Evie pulled her head out from under Cuddy's chin and Cuddy bit her lip before wiping the remaining tears from the baby's face, smiling through her own watery eyes as Evie freed her hands to reach for the water spraying down upon them, giving Cuddy a toothy grin then, having obviously forgotten what had just happened in her joy at being in the shower.

Breathing a sigh of relief and giving Evie an affectionate squeeze before nuzzling the baby's neck, Cuddy then turned to wet Evie's hair down as well, soaping it up with a little shampoo before she did the same with her own.

* * *

House came out of his room to find Cuddy and Evie had disappeared. Heading into the kitchen, he started the coffeemaker before turning to make breakfast, assuming Cuddy was upstairs with both girls, either getting ready for work or in the process of getting Rachel up. If she needed him to take Evie, he knew she'd find him.

House headed upstairs a half hour later to let Cuddy know breakfast was ready. He could hear Rachel jabbering away from within Cuddy's room and shook his head in amusement at how she could wake up talking a mile a minute like she did, before knocking on the door.

Cuddy opened the door a moment later and stepped aside to let him enter. "Do you want to take Evie for me?" she asked, her eyes searching his. "I'm having a hard time keeping her out of my makeup bag. Every time I move it out of her reach, she starts to cry in protest."

House raised an eyebrow but nodded, heading into her room to pick Evie up from where she'd been set down on the floor while Cuddy turned to look into the mirror and apply her lipstick. House turned back with Evie in his arms after rifling Rachel's hair where she stood wrapped around his leg, about to ask about Evie's wet locks, when his eyes fell upon Cuddy, momentarily mesmerized by what she was in the process of doing, something about it just seizing his attention.

Cuddy glanced up in the mirror and caught sight of his eyes upon her, freezing for a second, realizing how he was watching her before she continued to slowly apply her lipstick. While there was not a trace of desire in his eyes, all the same his gaze was intense and completely concentrated on her lips and it made her heart rate shoot through the roof to have such a simple action on her part be so scrutinized by his baby blues. He shook his head as if to clear it and then looked away, never having met her eyes in the mirror, and Cuddy couldn't help the small smile that curved up the corner of her lips, even if the moment had passed and his attention appeared to be now back upon the girls. She remembered hearing stories of how soldiers in the sick bay during WWII would ask the nurses to apply their lipstick, allowing them to watch just for the pure pleasure of seeing a woman in the process of "making herself beautiful" amidst the destruction and horrors of war and Cuddy wondered briefly if House felt that way at all in watching _her,_ considering his life had its own share of horrors right now. It was a really… _nice _thought, especially considering she was partially responsible for the havoc that had been there wrecked over the course of time.

"Did you give Evie a bath?" House asked in confusion, seemingly out of the blue.

"I took her in the shower with me," Cuddy informed him as she met his eyes in the mirror, now putting her earrings in. She cringed then and added, "It was a traumatic experience for the both of us."

House's forehead wrinkled in response and he gave her a strange look, waiting for her to explain. "Why? The kid loves the water."

Cuddy laughed softly, nodding in agreement, but then pursed her glossy lips before asking, "Has she ever… bit you before?"

"Huh?" he replied in momentary confusion before he realized what she was implying.

Cuddy saw realization dawn on his face and laughed again before stating, "I'm definitely going to have a bruise. I wasn't expecting it. I honestly had no idea she'd even think to latch her mouth on and…"

"Stop! I don't want to hear about this," House interrupted, holding a hand up to cut her off, causing Cuddy to do a double take at him in the mirror, surprised.

She turned around to face him, looked at him strangely, and then said, "House, you're a _doctor_. Why would this make you uncomfortable? And when have you _ever _been uncomfortable talking about my breasts?"

"Cuddy!" he interrupted again. "I don't want to talk about your… I just don't want to go there."

She stared at him a moment, concernedly worrying her lip before nodding, her shoulders falling. "Oh. Okay," she murmured, suddenly almost on the verge of tears at the thought that he really _wasn't _attracted to her anymore. She hadn't been trying to imply anything in bringing up what had happened but it still hurt to know he didn't want to think about her body in any context _at all_. She'd assumed he'd think it was funny, not _distasteful_. She used to think the one thing that would _always _be true between them was the mutual attraction, at least, she had until he'd needed Viagra to function. It made her question now if this was just him trying to protect himself or if she really _had completely _lost her attractiveness in his eyes, due to… She _knew _it was possible to love someone without being sexually attracted to them but, all the same... The truth _stung_. She almost _wanted _to ask him what bothered him about it but in the end, she just couldn't face hearing whatever answer he'd give her. This was so stupid. She knew that. After all, only seconds ago he'd been staring at her lips in evident fascination. But his reaction to _this _had hit her rather hard and she just couldn't find a way to dismiss it as less than an obvious indicator of how little attraction she held for him nowadays. She pathetically wanted to rip his clothes off half the time and he… couldn't even manage a suggestive look or smartass comment about her body anymore, things that had once been the norm for their relationship. Saddened now, she quietly mumbled, "I… Sorry. I didn't mean to make you… uncomfortable or… anything."

"Forget it," he muttered as he turned to head back out of her room. "I just came up to tell you that breakfast is ready."

"Okay," she replied softly in acknowledgement of what he'd said. Turning to Rachel, she held out a hand and murmured, "Let's get you dressed."

Five minutes later Cuddy descended the stairs with Rachel jumping down step by step at her side, her hand in her mommy's. Setting Rachel in her booster seat, she _tried_ to move past House's apparent repulsion to her body, hating that she was so upset about it. But honestly, while most sane people would view his past behavior towards her and her body as demeaning, she had… _enjoyed _it. It had always made her feel sexy. And now, she just didn't seem to have what it took to bring that same fire to his eyes she used to manage with just a swish of her hips or by wearing a low-cut top. She felt bereft in not being able to turn on the heat that had once been part of _them_.

Remembering the shopping bags she had forgotten all about but still had in the trunk of her car following yesterday's shopping venture, Cuddy turned and headed for the back door to retrieve them, needing something else to concentrate on for a while.

She returned a couple minutes later with the bags in hand and House looked up at her from where he was placing breakfast on Rachel's plate, an eyebrow raised.

Her sensitivities heightened once more, she carefully asked, "You don't care if I buy Evie clothes, do you? I went shopping yesterday and there were some things I just couldn't resist." It was the first time she'd bought _anything _for Evie and for her, this _was _a big deal. An exciting milestone of sorts. She was not just a mommy to this baby girl, but she was a mommy who got to do _mommy things_.

"You can buy whatever you want, Cuddy," he replied with a shrug. "Saves _me _money if you do."

Drawing in a deep breath, she gave him a grateful look, even as she grew more annoyed with herself for the way she was feeling right now, so needy for his approval in _something._ Between the waves of guilt washing over her regarding both House and Evie, and the ache of questioning if looking at her was all it took to turn House's stomach, she was becoming quite a _mess,_ her recovering self-esteem taking a heavy blow_._

"You okay?" he asked doubtfully, eyeing her now, confused by the swell of emotions that were running the gamete across Cuddy's face.

She turned away quickly, nodding, just trying to gather herself before she really _did _start crying. This was just _awful!_ What was her _problem?!_ Was this just related to her impending period or were her meds not doing her any good today? She'd taken them on time every day so far this week! There was _no reason _for that to be the case!

House hesitantly moved towards her, not knowing what to make of her behavior, reluctantly putting a hand on her shoulder. "You're kind of scaring me here, Cuddy," he mumbled, incapable of _not _expressing concern for her, even if it seemed like a bad idea.

Helpless to stop herself, she dropped the bags and turned into his arms, hugging him tightly and burrowing her face into his chest.

His arms tentatively encircled her even as he grimaced at what he was doing, and then, his thoughts _somewhat_ on the same track as hers a moment before, asked, "Uh, is it _that time _of the month or… what?" He just didn't know if this was a purely emotional response that was entirely due to her being… well, a _woman_, or something completely different that warranted his concern. They were talking about _clothes_, for Pete's sake.

"You don't even _know _when that time of the month is for me anymore?!" she queried into his chest.

House heard her but was totally flabbergasted by the question. "You _expect _me to?!" he asked incredulously.

"You _always _know," she responded, almost pouting at the fact that he no longer did.

House pushed her away from him so he could see her face, scrutinizing her in abject disbelief. "I _seriously _don't understand what is going on with you right now," he muttered as he shook his head, despite being grateful to find she wasn't crying.

Irritated with herself, she declared, "I'm fine. I just…" Sighing, she pursed her lips before looking into his eyes and admitting, "I really don't understand what's happened to us, House. I mean, I do but… I miss _us. _The way we _were._" She knew her explanation for her behavior fell short but it was the best one she could manage without being completely straightforward and confessing to wanting him to look at her and act with her the way he used to, something she figured she'd already told him in one way or another in her jealousy regarding his relationship with Erika and which, if he hadn't appreciated it then, she doubted he'd appreciate now. She _knew _it wasn't exactly fair to him to expect he'd still be attracted to her after everything but… SHE WANTED HIM TO BE!

House looked at her, taking another step back, his expression one of frustration. Before he could say anything, she sighed again and wearily said, "Let's just eat breakfast. I can't make you feel for me the way you used to. And I know I don't… deserve to have you want to be with me, anymore. I'll be fine. I'm just… having an emotional morning I guess. It's not your problem. It's mine. Let's just forget it."

House studied her a moment in deep concentration, something inside of him longing to acknowledge that he felt more for her than he wanted to and beyond what was good for him, but instead he nodded, figuring she knew that already, before clearing his throat and hesitantly asking, "What did you buy my kid?"

Cuddy smiled at him affectionately, knowing he probably didn't care all that much about what she'd bought, because after all, this _was_ House, but he was at least opting to show interest, which honestly, worked pretty well if his goal was to get her mind off that which was plaguing her this morning. "I'll show you," she replied contentedly, reaching down to grab the bags once more.

"No matching outfits, Cuddy," he forewarned as she dug into a bag.

"Oh, but that would be so _cute_," she teased, giving him a little smile as she bit her lip, her eyes growing soft as they swept over his face briefly.

House rolled his eyes. "Just remember the girls will hate you one day for it," he dryly remarked.

"Relax. I didn't buy matching outfits for them," she shot back, rolling her own eyes before pulling out the first item, a polka dot baby bikini in brown and pink, holding it up for him to admire.

"That's even _worse_," he groaned, causing Cuddy to laugh.

* * *

Ruth caught House as he was entering the daycare and asked, "Once you've dropped the girls off, could you stop by my office?"

House nodded in agreement and then detoured into the baby room to drop Evie off, making sure to let Becky know the baby was teething and there was medicine in her diaper bag for it, before leaving to take Rachel into the toddler room, smiling proudly when she had a much easier time with things the second time around. Glancing at his watch, he hoped this thing with Ruth wouldn't take too long so he could still get to the gym before he had to be back to go to work.

"What's up?" he asked from her doorway, leaning against the doorframe as he waited expectantly.

Ruth finished straightening the files she'd been arranging and then looked up at him. "You need to clarify with me exactly what your wishes are regarding Dr. Cuddy and your daughter."

"Huh?" he asked, looking at her blankly.

Ruth smiled at his obvious confusion but clarified, "She's not on your list to pick Evie up and I need to know if you want to change that. I also have to know just what amount of information I can give her regarding Evie. Yesterday she asked me how Evie's day had gone. It put me in an uncomfortable position. I don't have clearance to give her _any_ kind of information. Before it becomes an issue, I'd like to know what your expectations are in this – how you'd like me to handle it."

House looked at her in surprise and then with a small smile, repeated, "She asked about _Evie's _day?"

Ruth nodded, an eyebrow quirking at his expression.

House looked down but then shrugged and said, "You can tell her anything she wants to know about Evie."

"And regarding pick-ups?" Ruth pressed.

House huffed out a breath and then raked a hand through his hair, wishing he could do it, but he just… couldn't. Chances were, she'd never have to pick Evie up anyway. Therefore, having her on the list would be a moot point. But he just… wasn't ready. He didn't… He _couldn't._ Not meeting her gaze, he mumbled, "No."

She nodded slowly but acknowledged, "I guess I have to know then if I need to be concerned about Dr. Cuddy's presence here. More specifically, I need to know if there is reason to be concerned that she might attempt to take Evie without authorization. My employees are watchful and I've never had an issue with a child leaving with someone not approved for pick-up, but if there is a risk present, I want to be aware of it."

House shook his head quickly. Logically he could reason that Cuddy would never do that and tell Ruth so, but emotionally, he just couldn't open the gateway to a chance he might one day come down to pick Evie up to find she was already gone. He knew himself enough to know that would freak him out and turn his world upside down. He didn't especially like change and there was _plenty _of change in his life right now, but what was even worse,he needed a measure of control concerning his world. And when it came to Evie and Cuddy, he _really _needed that. "She might try to pick Evie up but once she knows," and he grimaced at the thought, "she'll deal with it."

"Are you going to tell her she's not authorized for pick-up?" Ruth asked pointedly.

House shook his head, giving her a look. "Not when there's no reason to_._ How likely is it that she'll ever come to pick her up without me being present? She doesn't work here and I'm the one who will be bringing the girls back and forth from daycare."

"Dr. House, if she does show up, it isn't as if I can cover this for you while hunting you down in the hospital to come before she finds out," she wryly informed him.

He rolled his eyes but muttered, "Look, I'll deal with it when I have to. I just don't think it's going to happen. All I'm asking of you is that Evie isn't released into anyone's care without my knowledge, specifically Cuddy's. _I _have all legal rights and responsibility regarding my kid. This isn't about Cuddy being a threat. It's… about what I'm comfortable with. Right now, I'm _not _comfortable with her picking Evie up."

"Alright," Ruth replied, nodding. "I guess that's what I needed to know."

House nodded once and then turned to leave, thankful to have that conversation over with.

* * *

House walked into the bowling alley with both girls that night, spotting Wilson waiting by their typical bowling lane.

"You brought the girls?" Wilson asked in surprise as he took Evie from House before squatting down to greet Rachel.

House shrugged. "Cuddy might show up. I told her where we'd be."

Wilson gave him a questioning look before asking, "You invited her to join us or to pick up the girls?"

House rolled his eyes, thinking of what had been said between him and Ruth that morning before muttering, "Believe me, it was easier to invite her to join us than it would have been to tell her that she could come get Rachel if she wanted but I'd be keeping Evie with me."

Wilson's eyes narrowed in an unspoken question as he got back to his feet, reaching for a plate to dish up the pizza that had been delivered to him a minute before House came in the door, setting it on the table for Rachel while continuing to study House.

House took a plastic bib from the nearby counter and tied it around Rachel's neck before cutting the pizza up for her in bite-size pieces with the plastic silverware he'd also grabbed. Handing her the fork, he watched as she happily took a bite before he turned back to his buddy and sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

"What's up?" Wilson inquired then, grabbing a slice of pizza and taking a bite.

"Nothing," he replied calmly.

"Then why do I get the feeling you have a reason why you wouldn't send both girls home with Cuddy, should she be willing to take them?" Wilson asked, the hand that wasn't supporting Evie settling on his waist after he'd wiped it clean of pizza, staring at House appraisingly. "You aren't going to get any objection from me. I'm just wondering about your reasoning. What did she do now?"

"She didn't do _anything_," House replied dismissively, not surprised to find Wilson suspicious. "I just have _issues_."

"You don't trust her with Evie?" Wilson asked in surprise, catching onto what that look in House's eyes was all about.

"It's not like I think she's going to _hurt _her," House responded defensively.

"I didn't say you did," he automatically said with a shrug.

"Am I being stupid about this?" House asked in a mutter after a moment had passed, turning to grab a ball from the racks.

"In not trusting her?" Wilson asked in disbelief, chuckling wryly. "_I _don't _trust_ her. Well, with Evie I suppose I do. For the most part. I certainly don't question whether she'd _hurt _her. But otherwise, where you are concerned, I don't trust her at all."

House chuckled, giving Wilson an amused look over his shoulder as he tried out another ball.

"So… what? You don't want to leave Evie with her? Is that what you are saying?" Wilson pressed before frowning. "Did Erika and I mess up Sunday in letting Cuddy leave to go back to the house with Evie?"

House's eyebrows knitted and then he remembered leaving Evie with Cuddy and everyone when he'd gone off to… process. Shaking his head, he said, "No. She took her back to my place. And you still had Rachel with you."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Wilson asked in confusion.

House sighed dramatically but admitted, "A lot, actually. Cuddy's not going to run for the border with Evie and leave Rachel behind."

Wilson shook his head in total bewilderment before his eyes widened and he asked, "You're afraid she's going to _take _Evie?"

Turning back around, House stepped around Wilson to place his ball in the corral before reaching to take Evie from him, grabbing her bottle out of the diaper bag he'd set down on the floor when they'd come in, placing it in her mouth. "I know it's illogical but… I… Like I said, I have _issues,_" he mumbled. "I don't _care _if Cuddy has Evie with her in the house or the yard or… anywhere _close_. As long as I know where they are. But I… I have some trust issues with Cuddy and… this is one of them." As an example he mumbled, "When I went to get the dog from the seller's house around the corner from me, I left Evie at home with Cuddy but I took Rachel with me. I mean, I took Rachel so she could pick the dog out, but… it wasn't that _simple_. There was more to it than that. It wasn't as if Cuddy was going to take Evie then anyway. Evie wasn't comfortable with Cuddy yet and Cuddy herself was all panicky by the time I came back, not any better with Evie than Evie was with her. Part of my reasoning in leaving Evie with Cuddy was so that we could work to get past that. But all the same, I felt _safe_ in leaving Evie, partly because I knew she'd still be there when I came home, considering Rachel was with me. It's stupid, but it's the way I feel. I just don't… trust Cuddy. It's not so much about Evie or her safety. It's about… me. Today at RE I had to clarify to the director of the girls' daycare that Cuddy isn't authorized to pick Evie up. I almost wished I _did _feel comfortable authorizing Cuddy to pick her up, but I _don't_ and I don't see that changing right now_._ Hopefully the day where I have to explain myself to Cuddy won't come anytime soon, because I really don't want to have to explain anything, but can you see why it's just _easier _to invite her to join us than to come out and say, 'Evie stays with me?'"

Wilson wondered if Nolan had a field day with this situation of House's but he didn't ask. He didn't really want House to lower his guard where Cuddy was concerned anyway. "Would you let Cuddy take Evie if you kept Rachel?" he asked then, just out of curiosity.

House grimaced at the very idea. "I don't know," he reluctantly replied. "Maybe my issues go _beyond _thinking I'm safe as long as I have one of the girls."

Wilson caught sight of Cuddy entering the bowling alley over House's shoulder and nodded his head in her direction to give him a head's up. He looked her way and watched as she approached.

"Hey," he greeted her when she reached them, passing her Evie almost guiltily when she eagerly held out her hands to take the baby from him, pressing a kiss to Evie's cheek before taking the half-empty bottle from his hand to continue feeding her.

"Hi," she replied before glancing at Wilson. "Hey Wilson," she acknowledged with a careful smile, still feeling a little unsure around him, especially when she had the impression they'd just been talking about her.

"Mommy!" Rachel shouted in delight, standing up in the booth where she'd been sitting, her arms outstretched for a hug, hands opening and closing.

House reached out to steady the little girl, reaching for a napkin to wipe her pizza-covered face and hands while Cuddy stepped over, slipping past House when he moved back to press a kiss to Rachel's waiting lips, hoping House had got the worst of the pizza from her hands when she felt them pat affectionately on her back as Rachel hugged her.

"How was daycare today?" she asked her, smoothing back Rachel's bangs after adjusting Evie and the bottle in her arms when Rachel plopped back down in the booth, reaching once more for her pizza, forgoing the fork completely.

"So much fun! We play Ring 'Round Rosie, but we not have a Rosie there," she admitted, shrugging her little shoulders, one hand upturned to indicate it made no sense to her but was fun all the same.

Cuddy laughed. "Well, it sounds like a LOT of fun, Rachel," she replied, sinking down into the booth next to her.

"Me teach you and daddy?" Rachel asked hopefully.

"Not now," House muttered in protest. "Eat your pizza."

Cuddy laughed at him, shaking her head.

"Gonna bowl with us?" Wilson asked her then.

Cuddy's eyes widened but she actually contemplated the offer, not having taken House seriously on the phone, assuming she'd just show up and either take the girls home or hang out there until they were done, though she was actually in slacks. Biting her lip, she tried to remember the last time she'd been bowling. It had been _years_. "I haven't bowled in a really long time," she admitted hesitantly.

"All the better," House declared smugly.

She raised an eyebrow at him before lifting her chin into the air. "I _accept _your unspoken challenge," she evenly declared. "You've got yourself a third competitor. Even if it's been a long time, I'm all about proving myself to you."

Wilson looked at her, 100% certain that had a double-meaning to it.

"You are _SO _going down," House shot back, ignoring Wilson who was now frowning at him as he reached for a piece of pizza.

"I think I better order a second pizza," Wilson finally muttered.

Cuddy pushed herself out of the booth and then said, "I've got it, Wilson," walking away with her purse to go order a second pizza, surprising both of the two guys.

"We need pop too," House called after her, causing her to glance back over her shoulder at him, smiling even as she rolled her eyes.

"I still want to hear what your mom said about your real dad," Wilson reminded him after a minute, trying to push aside his disquiet in the way House and Cuddy were interacting. It wasn't as if he didn't recognize they'd have to figure out a way to get along to some extent, raising two kids together. But he didn't like seeing it came quite _this _naturally to them. It made him feel a bit anxious. Reminding himself of what House had shared with him just moments before regarding his lack of trust concerning Cuddy, he managed to brush the worry away, focusing on House. "You want me to wait or…?"

House spotted Cuddy on her way back towards them, a kid tailing her with a couple six-packs of pop while she dangled a pair of bowling shoes by the laces from the hand not supporting Evie, away from her body, and from the look on her face, it was almost as if she was afraid they'd contaminate her somehow. It didn't surprise him that she'd found someone to do her "dirty work" for her, probably tipping the kid to carry the pop for her, but his lips quirked up slightly at her apparent repulsion to the bowling shoes. He'd known Cuddy back when she wouldn't have given a second thought to slipping her dainty feet into those shoes. Now it amused him to see her and just bet she'd go home tonight if she didn't do half bad and be on the internet once the girls were asleep, trying to find out if there was anyone out there selling bowling shoes that could pass for a Jimmy Choo creation. She was probably grateful now that she'd opted to wear slacks to work, though.

Remembering that Wilson was still waiting on an answer, he looked back at him before his eyes flickered to Rachel and he shrugged and said, "I'll tell you."

"With Cuddy here?" Wilson asked pointedly.

"Why not? Frankly, in comparison to the other crap that's come out this weekend, this is like talking about my mom's secret meatloaf ingredient. I'm not saying I've had time to work through it yet, I just don't even care anymore. And Cuddy might as well hear it at the same time. She'd find out eventually. This way it saves me having to retell it. Really, it's just not _that _big a deal anymore," House responded dismissively. "Just do me a favor and if you _have _to ask me a question, make sure it's one I will be comfortable answering considering present company."

Wilson gave him a questioning look but House tilted his head down and then muttered, "You'll understand what I mean once I've laid out this convoluted tale."

"Okay," Wilson uncertainly acknowledged, shrugging as if to say House could do what he wanted to, which of course he knew House would do regardless.

The kid had barely set the pop down when House grabbed a can, pulling it free from the rest as Cuddy thanked the boy and slipped him a tip.

"Pizza will be here in about ten minutes," Cuddy informed Wilson as she sat down next to Rachel after passing Evie to House, untying the laces to her bowling shoes and slipping them on after digging out a pair of socks from her purse, House's eyebrow raising in disbelief.

"What all do you have crammed in there?" he asked skeptically.

"Wouldn't you like to know," she shot back, her confidence having recovered somewhat from that morning following a busy day at work where she had spent most of it micromanaging the workings of her hospital.

Wilson grabbed a slice of pizza and a pop and then focused his attention on Evie, who House willingly passed over to him a moment later.

"Daddy, me full," Rachel announced, patting her little belly, her mouth once more covered in pizza sauce.

House grabbed the wipes from the diaper bag and cleaned her up, shaking his head when Cuddy decided she'd be scorekeeper, heading for the computer to set up the screen. He wondered if she even knew what she was doing, except the lanes automatically kept score and updated, so really, there wasn't much she had to know.

"Me bowl too?" Rachel asked when she was all set, jumping down from the booth once House extended a hand to her, seeing what her intention was.

"Sure thing, kid," House agreed, knowing she'd only bowl a couple of times and then would be done with it, moving on to chatting with whoever was willing to listen, or "reading" the few books he had tucked away for her in the diaper bag.

"Yea!" Rachel declared, clapping happily.

"Cuddy, add Rachel," he called to her, not wanting to have his score reflect the few pins he might succeed in knocking down with her while assisting Rachel. It was hard to achieve much momentum when you had to worry about a two year old wiping out on the hardwood floor.

Cuddy smiled and nodded to indicate she would.

Ten minutes later their other pizza had arrived and the frame was underway, Rachel sitting on a chair, her legs kicking, as she waited for her next turn.

House cleared his throat and when Wilson turned to look at him, waiting for his ball to be returned so he could take another shot at the pins, House launched into an abbreviated version of the story his mother had told him about his real father, not going into much detail but enough to get the general drift across while feeling Cuddy's eyes on him and therein, knowing she was listening too. But House concentrated mostly on Evie who was in his arms, thereby "escaping" the scrutiny he knew he was under from all sides.

Cuddy listened in from where she sat beside Rachel at the scorekeeper's desk, first in confusion and then in shock, partly because House was opening up about something he had earlier refused to tell her, but mostly by the information itself. She wasn't quite sure if participating in this conversation was… permissible, but clearly, House _had _to know that she'd be listening and he didn't seem to object to that. However, as more and more details were laid out before her, all ability to just listen went out the window.

"Your father's name was _Henry?_" she asked in stunned disbelief.

"Is," House amended, glancing briefly at her and then looking away after seeing the wide-eyed look in her eyes. "As far as I know, the guy's still kicking."

Cuddy swallowed hard, remembering that she had first spoken to Kate about House using that pseudonym. That was a bizarre coincidence if she did say so herself. It made the little hairs on the back of her neck raise eerily.

Wilson prompted Cuddy to take her turn, interrupting her thoughts as he continued to contemplate whether the questions he wanted to ask House were appropriate for the moment. "Are you going to try and go see him?" he settled on inquiring while Cuddy got to her feet and retrieved her ball, stepping onto the lane.

House scoffed and then dryly pronounced, "Are you _kidding _me?! I hardly _know_ him. Other than at my dad's funeral, I haven't seen him in years. He never really took any real interest in me. Why would I go out of my way to run into him _now?_"

"Maybe he didn't know," Wilson countered.

"Don't be an idiot, Wilson," he muttered. "He _had _to know."

Rather than argue, Wilson accepted House's conclusion for the present time, not wanting to get called anything worse than an idiot with Rachel present, even if she was preoccupied at the moment with some toys Cuddy had pulled out for her.

"You're going to have to do better than seven pins to be any sort of competition at all," House snarked at Cuddy.

"Shut up," she replied, though a smile hovered on her lips at his barb. "Take your turn."

House got up and gave Evie to Wilson as he passed him before reaching for his ball. After he'd taken his turn he called Rachel up for hers and helped her, content when it succeeded in staying on its course towards the bowling pins despite the lack of momentum built up, ultimately taking out two pins and causing Rachel to squeal with glee.

"Mommy! Mommy! Me did it! Me got them pins!" Rachel declared, awkwardly skipping back in Cuddy's direction who had dug out her cell phone to snap a picture of House and Rachel bowling.

"I'm so proud of you!" Cuddy exclaimed, enjoying her daughter's delight. "Now go help daddy take out a few more. Your ball just came back and it's waiting for you."

Rachel ran back to House as he retrieved the ball and then accompanied him back to the line, her hands resting on top of his as once more they gave the ball a shove, back down the lane and towards the pin, though this time, it ended up detouring into the gutter halfway down.

Regardless, Rachel was content with her score and smiled happily as she jumped her way back towards the chairs. "Unca Wilson, you see me?" she asked him, giving him a shy smile.

"I did," he admitted, surprised at how much he liked hearing her call him that and pulling a sucker he had tucked away in his pocket out to pass to her, eliciting another happy squeal.

"Hey! That's mine!" House grumped, his eyes on Rachel as she ran to Cuddy to get her to remove the wrapper. "Red ones are _always _for daddy!"

"Uh uh!" Rachel declared, squirming up into Cuddy's lap and trying to hide the sucker from him so he wouldn't grab it from her, once Cuddy had removed the wrapper and handed it back to her. "This one's mine, daddy!"

House pouted as he closed the distance between them and Rachel giggled in response but quickly popped the sucker into her mouth, slurping loudly on it.

"Relax, I brought extras," Wilson dryly informed him, rolling his eyes before plucking another red sucker from his shirt pocket, tossing it to House and watching as he deftly snagged it from the air.

"Aw, you _do _care," House sarcastically remarked as he shoved it between his teeth.

Wilson rolled his eyes good-naturedly as he gave Evie back over to House and went for his ball.

"Do you blame your mom for what happened with Henry?" Cuddy asked out of the blue.

House looked her way sharply but Cuddy's eyes weren't on him so much as upon Evie. And that made him take a step back from the direction his thoughts had gone in at her words, causing him to fumble about mentally as he tried to follow the thinking that had led to her question.

"Do you blame her for the circumstances surrounding your birth?" Cuddy continued before he could grasp onto a way to respond.

House didn't immediately reply, still searching for the deeper meaning he was sure lingered behind her words. When she expectantly looked up at him a minute later, he searched her gaze for a moment, his lips pressed together.

Biting her lip, she mumbled, "It wasn't exactly the ideal way to enter into existence. She cared about Henry but… was with someone else. Does it bother you that your parents weren't… together? That they didn't end up together?"

"Is this about me or about Evie?" he asked quietly so that Wilson would be less likely to overhear.

Cuddy looked down at her lap but softly acknowledged, "Maybe both."

House swallowed, glancing at Wilson who was concernedly staring his way before refocusing on Cuddy. "I don't blame her," he finally settled on saying. "There were extenuating circumstances that made it a little difficult for me to really place the blame at her door. Anyway, I had known the truth for a long time, Cuddy. Maybe not the details, but I knew the man I called dad wasn't really my father. I suppose if anyone had a right to be angry with her, it was him," he ended with a casual shrug.

"And Henry," Cuddy added, meeting his eyes then.

House looked away, making a face at that and eliciting another question from Cuddy's lips because of his reaction. "Do you blame _Henry_ for what happened?"

"I don't know. I don't know what I think," he reluctantly admitted, knowing they were now entering waters he didn't want to tread with her. Fact was fact. You couldn't do much with it. Feelings… feelings were a different matter entirely.

Wilson coughed, uncertain with where the conversation was going but all too aware of his friend's need for a subject change. "It's your turn, Cuddy," he prompted.

Cuddy looked his way and nodded, getting to her feet and quickly making her way to the corral to pick up her ball. She managed a spare and turned back to meet House's gaze with triumph written across her expression.

"Yeah, yeah. Take a seat, Kelly Kulick," he quipped dryly.

Cuddy narrowed her eyes, clueless as to whom Kelly Kulick was, though she assumed she was a female bowler. She ignored the jibe, instead reaching out to take Evie, who was getting hungry and reaching for pizza.

"You okay?" Wilson asked when Cuddy gasped a second later, Evie having slammed her head back into Cuddy's sore chest as she grew fussy at not yet having a full belly.

House chuckled when Cuddy grappled for an explanation in discomfort, suddenly remembering what she'd told him that morning and knowing he could use it to torment her, also causing Wilson some embarrassment in the process. "Cuddy's got a boob issue. She forgot it's a little too late to breastfeed now. Received a bite from the kid for her efforts though."

"House!" Cuddy gasped out in protest, horrified. "That's _not_ how it happened. I wasn't tryingto _breastfeed_ her. She bit me as I was checking the water temperature in the shower."

Wilson was already in the process of turning pink and at Cuddy's continued depiction of what had happened he stuck a finger in his collar, tugging at his shirt as if it had suddenly grown too tight, undoing the top button a second later. "Forget I asked," he mumbled. "And House… just… take your turn, _would you?_" House talking about this was beyond disturbing. Oh, normally, had he and Cuddy been in a relationship, Wilson would expect a _lot _worse. But circumstances being what they were, Wilson was clueless as to why House would _want _to be cavalier or talk about Cuddy… being _bit._ Maybe having the three of them together was too much like a step back into the past, before everything that had happened. Or maybe this was House deflecting into his comfort zone. Whatever it was, Wilson found it disturbing.

House smirked but retrieved his ball, achieving a strike of his own before helping Rachel to take her turn. Cuddy watched him confusedly, wondering why he'd be alright with bringing up her bite, _joking_ about it in front of Wilson, when this morning he'd been uncomfortable in her mentioning it. She supposed she'd never understand House completely. But, at least it was something. She'd take what she could get.

"Henry was in love with your mom, though?" Cuddy inquired to change the subject back, still puzzling through Blythe's revelation and wanting to find out what she could while House was open to talking about things.

House simply nodded, watching as Wilson released the ball and knocked down nine pins.

"Did your mom love him?" Cuddy couldn't help asking.

House wasn't sure where this was headed but he mumbled, "She loved John. She stayed with him. As far as I know, she never thought about leaving him. Not to be with Henry."

Cuddy's thoughts were going a mile a minute now, her breath catching in her throat as she realized why this was hitting her the way it was, familiar even if it wasn't exactly the same. "I'm _Blythe,_" she gasped out in horror after a moment, catching House completely off-guard and causing Wilson's ball to sink immediately in the gutter as he jerked at her question while in the midst of releasing it.

House had _not _been prepared for her to come to that conclusion, even if he'd thought the two situations shared some uncanny resemblances. "Don't go there, Cuddy," he warningly muttered, causing her head to snap up as her eyes met his.

Wilson zeroed in on House, quickly gauging how he was doing with where the conversation had gone. House raked a hand through his hair, his discomfort quite apparent. Wilson just bet his buddy was now regretting electing to discuss the Blythe/Henry situation with Cuddy present and he felt guilty for having brought it up at all.

House _was _ill at ease, partly because Wilson had been present for her statement, not that he really wanted to talk about what had happened between them, whose fault it had been, OR about his _feelings._ He waited on edge for Cuddy to press her luck but was relieved when Rachel chose that moment to need the bathroom, Cuddy taking her hand and heading off with her, glancing hesitantly at him as she went past.

"House," Wilson began in a low tone when Cuddy was gone.

"Yeah," he interrupted and drew out before wryly muttering, "I think those conversations about the color of the contents of Evie's latest diaper are looking pretty appealing right about now."

Wilson rubbed a hand over his face but then grunted in response, shaking his head. He had a few questions he wanted to ask House, but he determined it was probably best to give his best friend a break. "So, what should we talk about for what remains of this game?" he inquired.

"At this point, I'd _welcome _sob stories regarding your dying patients," House quipped under his breath, the corner of his mouth twitching in angst as he passed Evie over before grabbing his ball from the corral and headed out to take his turn.

"I can do one better," Wilson replied with a small smile, adjusting the baby in his arms. "I'll tell you all about the seventy year old self-proclaiming virgin who came into the clinic today with herpes."

House did a double-take but then focused his attention on the pins, managing a strike a second afterwards. "I hope you got the whole life story," he commented, though clearly intrigued. Sarcastically, he muttered, "The telling of this story has got to last us the next half hour, at least. I'm _done_ with the story of _my_ life."

"That I can guarantee," Wilson responded, determined to monopolize conversation AND amuse House while he did so, launching into the story a moment later when Cuddy returned with Rachel.

* * *

House opened the door and waited for Cuddy to enter the house with Rachel who was asleep in her arms before he followed her inside with Evie. Since the baby wasn't yet asleep, he headed for the kitchen to release Monster from his crate, taking him outside before returning inside to get her ready for bed, Monster trailing him around happily. Cuddy entered Evie's room with a bottle shortly after he'd changed Evie's diaper and she silently passed him the baby's pajamas before reaching out to stroke her hair. House snapped Evie's buttons up but then handed her to Cuddy so that she could feed her.

Heading for the door, he paused and then came to a complete stop, his eyes on the floor and mouth twitching before he reluctantly returned to something he'd been thinking about since earlier and evenly said, "I'm not going to lie to you, Cuddy, and tell you that Evie will understand what happened between us or why you didn't want her. Frankly, I… still don't understand why you didn't want her. But in the end, I really do think it matters more that you are here now and love her now and plan to be here for her _now_," he emphasized, "than… how she was conceived. The past is the past. You can't change it. You just deal with it the best you can. Personally, I'm all for pushing off _ever _telling her any more than I _have_ to. But at least there are _worse _histories out there than hers."

And with that he turned and headed out of the room, leaving Cuddy looking after him before her eyes returned to the baby, sadly contemplating the truth of his statement even as she regretted that the day would come when she'd _have_ to account for her actions to the child currently drifting to sleep in her arms.

When Evie's bottle was empty and the baby sound asleep, she carefully got to her feet, placing her in her crib before tucking her in, standing beside the crib and leaning against it as she watched her daughter sleep.

"_Frankly, I still don't understand why you didn't want her," _she heard House say in her head. He would admit that, but she knew enough now to recognize it wasn't an actual request for her to attempt an explanation. Sighing, she couldn't help mumbling under her breath, "It would help if you'd give me half a chance to _explain_."

It wasn't as if this wasn't what kept her up at night, trying to sort through how to reach a point where he'd stop fighting her and open the door to some honest communication and whatever vulnerability was required for them to get to the bottom of all they still had between them. She'd much prefer doing whatever it took than trying to accomplish something on the sly. She was used to waging war with him, but not like this or using these methods, not to this _extent._ There'd been enough destruction. Now all she wanted was to sign a peace treaty and then move forward together. But doing that meant dealing with the past, talking about… her "safe" choice, the guy whose name House now flinched at. Someday she'd break through his defenses, she reminded herself, straightening to exit the room, shutting the door behind her. Cuddy just wasn't sure how much time would pass by the time she got through to him that _she _was no longer the enemy.

-----

"_**Lightning strikes  
Inside my chest to keep me up at night  
Dream of ways  
To make you understand my pain**_

**_Clouds of sulfur in the air_**  
**_Bombs are falling everywhere_**  
**_It's heartbreak warfare_**  
**_Once you want it to begin_**  
**_No one really every wins_**  
**_In heartbreak warfare_**

**_If you want more love_**  
**_Why don't you say so?_**  
**_If you want more love_**  
**_Why don't you say so?_**

**_Drop his name_**  
**_Push it in and twist the knife again_**  
**_Watch my face_**  
**_As I pretend to feel no pain_**

**_Clouds of sulfur in the air_**  
**_Bombs are falling everywhere_**  
**_It's heartbreak warfare_**  
**_Once you want it to begin_**  
**_No one really ever wins_**  
**_In heartbreak warfare_**

**_If you want more love_**  
**_Why don't you say so?_**  
**_If you want more love_**  
**_Why don't you say so?_**

**_Just say so..._**

**_How come the only way to know how high you get me_**  
**_Is to see how far I fall?_**  
**_God only knows how much I'd love you if you let me_**  
**_But I can't break through at all_**

**_It's a heartbreak..._**

**_I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight_**  
**_Let's just fix this whole thing now_**  
**_I swear to God we're gonna get it right_**  
**_If you lay your weapon down_**  
**_Red wine and Ambien_**  
**_You're talking s--- again, it's heartbreak warfare_**  
**_Good to know it's all a game_**  
**_Disappointment has a name, it's heartbreak, heartbreak_**

**_It's heartbreak warfare_**

**_It's heartbreak warfare_**

**_It's heartbreak warfare"_**

* * *

Song: "Heartbreak Warfare" (John Mayer)


	89. I Love You

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I KNOW! It's been FOREVER! I'm terribly sorry! I just reached the point of being so discouraged with the show that this chapter, which already seemed like a huge thing to tackle with all that COULD be covered in two separate therapy sessions, was beyond overwhelming! I finally got it written though! And SERIOUSLY, these chapters are SO long! Thanks for your patience and encouragement along the way, all!! Enjoy!)_

* * *

Cuddy woke up the next morning to the sound of her alarm clock going off and the immediate reminder that once again she was back in her bed, "her" bed being subjective as it was technically House's guest bed, despite having become her bed in a manner of speaking. Pouting, she smoothed the blanket beside her, missing the feel of House's warm body against hers, his chest rising and falling beneath her head with every breath he took. Huffing out a breath of irritation, she shoved the blankets off her and grumpily pronounced, "Get a grip. You only woke up with him twice and _nothing even happened_." But apparently, twice was more than enough to feel a little depressed that his bedroom door had been closed and TV on when she'd left Evie's room the night before, even if sleeping with him those two nights had been platonic. Gritting her teeth at her desire to amend even _that _thought to say it was only platonic because House wasn't interested, she sat up moodily and then threw her feet to the side to get up and do her yoga, hoping that would calm her thoughts a bit.

She used to be halfway decent at quarantining her thoughts so that yoga could be a peaceful time for her but this morning she'd failed dismally. The only good thing about that was that by the time she'd showered and dressed for the day, _she _had a _plan._ A three-step plan. Phase One started with getting back into her running routine so that her body would once more be in tiptop shape. She was in good shape as it was. Getting back any tone she'd lost wouldn't take that much work on her part. Phase Two would incorporate dressing in a way to grab House's attention and hold it. She knew what outfits used to catch his eye but maybe it was time to go to town and spend some hard-earned cash to update her wardrobe with similar, but even sexier cuts, at least, as sexy as she could get away with. And Phase Three, _Phase Three_ involved seducing the heck out of him, once he _did _indicate in _any _way that he was even the teeniest bit interested in bedding her. And that made her heart race, just thinking about it. Because she wanted him. Desperately.

Oh yes, _this _was _the _plan to end all need for plans. At least, she _hoped _it was. It was going to succeed. It _had _to. House wouldn't know what had hit him by the time she'd accomplished her goal. That she was certain of. But in a _good _way, she reminded herself. In a _really _good way. Granted, she was knowingly flirting with disaster she supposed, but Cuddy rarely failed at anything she set herself to accomplish and her biggest mistake in the past was not being willing _enough _to walk the edge with House, right? And he would come around. How could he not? He just… needed a little help. A little… push. A little… steering. A little encouragement. And she was the woman to give it to him. She just had to work to be subtle and ease into it with him, concentrating on the little details that caught his eye, like applying lipstick yesterday had accomplished. Then she really didn't think she _could _fail. After all, the man wasn't having _any _sex. He _had _to miss it. And when the time came, she'd make sure he remembered just how good it could be between them. She'd show how capable she was of making up to him for the past. Then, hopefully he wouldn't ever want to go back. At which point there would be no more nights of sleeping without him beside her. And _that _thought sent a rush of contentment right through her cerebral cortex, because it wasn't just about sex. Though she knew words failed to express how unbelievably good it was with him. No, in the end, what she wanted went so much _beyond _sex. Even if right now her mind was teetering precariously close to the edge in physically longing for the fireworks only House knew how to set off within her.

* * *

House climbed gingerly from his bed, being careful with his leg which seemed to be acting up slightly, perhaps in part from not having slept very well the night before, his insomnia keeping him up until all hours, his only consolation coming in the fact that he'd found a marathon of 30 Rock episodes airing on TV and it had proven entertaining enough to hold his interest for a while. Raking a hand through his hair, he went into his bathroom to brush his teeth before heading out to start a pot of coffee, hoping it would be enough to get him through the day.

By the time he had a hot mug in his hand, Evie had woken up. He headed for her room, leaving his mug behind, quickly determining that she was in a good mood by her continuous chant of "da da." He opened her door to find her sitting upright, gripping the bars. Evie broke into a wide, toothy grin at the sight of him and attempted to rattle the bars in excitement, causing him to chuckle before he walked over and scooped her up, blowing raspberries against her neck while she giggled and squirmed.

Cuddy entered the room a moment later as House turned with the baby to change her diaper and he raised an eyebrow at the sight of _his _coffee cup in her hands before grumpily stating, "Hey, that was mine."

Cuddy smiled and took another sip before pleasantly offering, "I'll share."

"There _are _more coffee cups in the cabinet, you know," he pouted, unsnapping Evie's pajamas and removing them before reaching for a clean diaper.

Cuddy shrugged noncommittally.

"I drank from that, you know," he pointed out, as if sharing his cup would gross her out.

Cuddy laughed dryly and then walked towards him. "The last thing I'm worried about is your germs."

He eyed her as she approached, setting the coffee mug down out of Evie's reach before smoothing the baby's hair off her forehead, leaning down to press a kiss there, laughing when the baby grabbed handfuls of her hair, cooing happily.

House grabbed his coffee mug back, darting out of the room with it, and Cuddy rolled her eyes at his juvenile behavior but smiled when he called back, "_You _can change that diaper."

Once Evie was cleaned up and dressed, Cuddy lifted her up and snuggled her close before exiting the room with her and heading back towards the kitchen to find House making himself a bowl of cereal.

Cuddy leaned against the counter beside him and asked, "Do you care if I get up earlier in the mornings, starting tomorrow, and leave both girls with you while I go running? Rachel will probably sleep right through it, for the most part, but you'd have to keep one ear open in case she wakes up."

House shook his head to indicate that he didn't have any objection before he grabbed the box of Cheerios and walked over to Evie's highchair to pour some out for her while Cuddy followed him and settled the baby into the seat.

"Thanks," Cuddy replied, her hand touching his arm before she pressed another kiss to Evie's head and grabbed a mug from the cabinet to pour herself a cup of coffee and replace the one House had stolen back from her and was even now drinking from. Then she went back upstairs to wake Rachel up and get her ready for the day, House's eyes following her out of the room unbeknownst to her, a slight frown on his face, his thoughts contemplating how often she touched him nowadays and what that was all about before he shook the thought off and reached for Evie's formula to make her a bottle.

* * *

Cuddy sat down across from Kate later that day, wondering where she'd even start with all that had happened this past weekend.

"How are you?" Kate asked brightly, crossing her legs underneath her desk while giving Cuddy her undivided attention.

Cuddy exhaled heavily, her expression making it clear that she had a lot on her mind. "Fine," she replied finally, "But you are definitely going to get an earful today."

Kate raised an eyebrow at that but nodded before encouraging her with, "I'm all ears."

Cuddy took a deep breath but then went right into how the visit with House's mom had begun and the events of Friday night. Kate stopped her midway through her account of Blythe's barbed remarks and the telling of what had taken place in the car to acknowledge, "Despite how hard that must have been, I think you did really well. It couldn't have been easy to have her say what she did, and yet you didn't fall apart. That goes to show just how far you've come."

Cuddy smiled somewhat chagrined, but admitted, "Yeah, well, I waited until House showed up with Evie at my door, sent his mom back to his car to wait for him there, and the minute he climbed in with the baby, taking her spot, _then _I fell apart."

Kate nodded slightly and leaned forward before asking, "How did House do with that?"

Cuddy recounted how he'd reached for her, holding her, and all that had been said between them during those few minutes together in her car, smiling wistfully at the memory, though perhaps a little embarrassed at her behavior.

"Sometimes I can see how hard it is for you to be vulnerable with him in the retelling of things that take place," Kate said. "But honestly Lisa, you've come a long ways with him and your willingness to put yourself out there. I'm really impressed actually, because I don't think that comes at all naturally for you. I think you've conditioned yourself over the years maybe to only open up when you have no other choice. But little by little, you seem to be pushing past whatever hang-ups and hesitations you have, at least with House and definitely with me. I don't see anything you have to be ashamed of here but I recognize that you don't always feel the same. Anyway, from what you've told me, I think it's safe to conclude that House wasn't necessarily uncomfortable with being a shoulder to lean on, per say. In fact, I'm a bit surprised by just how willing he seems in being there for you. Granted, it was his mother who upset you and you admitted that he was quick to drop his hand from your face when he realized what he was doing, but the fact that he even touched you in the first place speaks volumes. At the very least, regardless of the past, you remain very important to him."

Cuddy nodded slightly, but bit her lip, looking away, her thoughts shifting to what had happened Sunday night.

Kate watched a myriad of emotions flit across Cuddy's face but then encouraged her to continue with her retelling of the weekend. Cuddy skimmed over most of what had taken place at Olive Garden and while at the park, though she did recount how she'd told House how much she regretted demanding that he leave PPTH. She thought about mentioning what she'd walked in on in the kitchen between Blythe and House, but she knew she only had so much time and anyway, she hadn't understood what had been going on at that moment in time. Instead she shared the "conversation" she and Blythe had gotten into right before lunch, which House had come in and interrupted, adding how he'd told her she was "doing just fine" with Evie. However, while she detailed that conversation with animation, now able to laugh about how ridiculous it all had been, she grew more somber when she came to Saturday night and how she'd overheard House tell his mother that he loved her and "lot of good it ever did" him, cringing when admitting how she'd pushed him after his mother had left to tell her he loved her and then basically tried to force him to hear her acknowledge how she felt for him, eventually perhaps driving him away, leading to him running off to Erika's house, when she temporarily retreated from the situation. Cuddy came right out and stated that even if Erika was just a friend, it absolutely pained her to know House would go to her with such ease, even if she didn't know for a fact whether or not House confided in the other woman all that was going on between them and _knew _he was free to turn to whoever he wanted to. She added how she'd waited for him to return and apologized for her behavior, but then launched right into all that had taken place at Erika's Sunday after lunch and how she felt she'd completely _failed _in not going after House when it all went down. Kate listened intently as Cuddy recapped what she'd found out since regarding House's past, skipping over all that had gone down between her and House for the moment. Then she doubled back to Sunday afternoon and how Erika did in fact seem to know a lot more than Cuddy had any idea of, for she had told her that while House might not be able to accept Cuddy's love easily or at the moment, that wasn't to say he didn't want to deep down inside, and how surprised she'd been to have Erika say that to her.

"And she… she made a point to warn me against saying anything to House to make him think I might underestimate just how capable he is in the parenting department," Cuddy thought to say then, realization dawning on her suddenly. "I… I didn't really understand that at the time. But looking back, especially after that moment in the kitchen Monday night with Wilson, I… I _think _I understand what she meant by that. House… House kind of _expects _he will fail and therefore, he thinks everyone else expects he will fail too. You said last time that he needs my support or _wants _me to believe in him. And I do! But… maybe Erika really isn't so bad. I mean, she was actually trying to _help me _understand him better and… at the very least, _guide _me so that I wouldn't create further distance between us."

Kate nodded slowly, thinking about it. "Maybe you've got yourself a potential friend instead of the enemy you were naturally tempted to think of her as, being that she's come across as the competition a time or two in your mind," she suggested.

Cuddy pursed her lips, contemplating that before shrugging, then dropping her eyes to the floor before hesitantly murmuring in a hushed tone, "I'd like to tell you about Sunday night and what happened after the girls were in bed."

Kate was undeniably curious, automatically aware that this was going to be big based on the way Cuddy was acting and the fact that she hadn't yet said whatever it was. "Okay," she replied.

Cuddy bit her lip but then released it before her words practically tripped out over each other in her haste to just spill her guts. It was easy enough to reveal all that she'd said and attempted to convey to House in opening up. But when she got to what House had responded with, especially in regards to how much she had hurt him, she was too ashamed to admit even to Kate all that she'd done to wound him and while she shared a great deal of what had been said, there were _some_ things she just _couldn't_ force herself to say out loud. Granted, she'd already disclosed a ton of what House had brought up. But admitting that she'd called out Lucas's name during sex? No. She couldn't bear to think about it, let alone verbalize that to Kate. So she shared what she could and then told Kate how he'd shut down upon her once the conversation came too close to the subject of Lucas and what she'd felt for him. She touched briefly on the aftermath, the box of momentos he'd given her and how much that had meant to her, and how she'd gone to him afterwards and actually spent the night in his room with him. But she also made it clear that House, for all rights and purposes, was against that ever happening again, despite the fact that she'd slept in his room the night after when Evie was teething.

By the time Cuddy fell silent, Kate was sitting back in her chair, unsure where to even start. Their hour had expired ten minutes ago but thankfully, she didn't have another patient for an hour so that wasn't a problem at all. Cuddy grabbed a rubber band that was lying on Kate's desk and began to twist it around her fingertips while she nervously waited for Kate to speak.

After a couple minutes of silence, Cuddy met Kate's eyes in time for her to say, "You've had quite the weekend."

Cuddy nodded, grimacing at that statement of truth. "Not to mention that Rachel started daycare on Monday," she added.

Kate smiled and after verifying that Cuddy didn't have anything pressing she needed to get back to, thoughtfully asked, "How do you feel about where you and House are at right now?"

Cuddy sighed but mumbled, "I know that we've come a long way. I _know _that. And I realize that I have a lot to be grateful for just in all that was expressed this weekend and even _since_ then, such as in House confiding his reasoning for having chosen our daughter's name. But I _want _to explain myself to him. And that in itself is far from my typical reaction to him. _I've _come so far in this whole thing. But… he doesn't know that or doesn't _care _and… it's just not _enough_. I want so much more for us. Yet House isn't willing to hear me out and I _know _I _should _respect that, but… the temptation is there to just run ram shod over him to get everything out into the open. Especially considering the fact that it worked Sunday night, at least allowing us to get out _some _of what lies between us. Right now I'm respecting where he's at as much as I can… But he made it clear that in his opinion, he will _never _be ready to hear me explain why I reacted as I did to _everything_, why I held him at a distance, and why I was so quick to cling to Lucas. Internally, hearing that just makes me want to charge ahead and prove to him otherwise. But House said that even with an explanation, things between us are broken beyond repair. And yet… _how can that be true?! We've come SO far ALREADY! I just… I can't ACCEPT that!"_

Kate thought about this and then said, "I understand how you feel. At the same time, it _seems_ to me that he has a lot to deal with right now. He's _just _learned about his biological father, it's unclear where his mother is at with what he revealed to her regarding the abuse he suffered during his childhood, _and _on top of that, a lot was said between the two of you since the last time we talked. A lot of _weighty _and _hard _things to hear. For both of you. Things that require time to process, time which House probably hasn't had much of due to everything else pressing on his mind. Obviously you have to decide for yourself what you are going to do with where things are at between you two. But again, I would be careful not to push him too hard. Oftentimes, when we are pushed, we just want to push back. And you can't force him into being ready to hear you out. In truth, you almost have to wait until he reaches the point of wanting to hear you out, because there's no guarantee in forcing him that he'll be receptive to what you have to say nor that he'll even listen to you. Respect where he is at, Lisa. That would be my advice to you. And… love him anyway. While I completely understand your frustration _and_ your desire to wade through everything so that it is all behind you, sometimes these things take time. And for what it is worth Lisa, I think this weekend speaks volumes regarding how much you _still_ mean to each other. You have to admit, that is really encouraging in the scope of things."

Cuddy nodded in acknowledgement, even if the wait was making her crazy. "I tried to kiss him when he was sleeping the other morning," she voiced before she could stop herself, coloring at her own desperation.

Kate's eyes widened but she didn't say anything for a moment, finally asking, "And how did that go?"

Cuddy groaned but then admitted, "Not so well. I had Evie in my arms and she… kind of woke him up by smacking him. But I… He doesn't know that I was trying to kiss him. I told him I was watching him sleep. I'm surprised he bought _that. _But I didn't want to make him mad. And I wasn't planning on taking it any farther than just… brushing my lips against his."

Kate laughed, shaking her head. "And how did he feel about you watching him sleep?"

Cuddy's mouth curved up slightly before mumbling regretfully, "Said it was _stalkerish_ and made it clear that I wouldn't be spending any more nights in his bed."

"You sound disappointed," Kate lightheartedly replied, somewhat teasingly.

"I _am _disappointed," Cuddy quickly acknowledged before rhetorically stating, "You have no idea how hard it is to want to be with someone, see them day in and day out, and yet be unable to do _anything _to change their mind because you've already hurt them… so much."

Kate watched the pain flit across Cuddy's face as she grimaced in stating that. "You're right. I don't. But from what you've said to me, House _does,_ for he wanted to be with _you_, saw _you _day in and day out here, and yet was unable to do anything to change _your _mind about _him_, back when you were with Lucas. And maybe at times he too felt as you do: discouraged by how he'd hurt you and as I sometimes get the impression from things you say, that it often feels like the cause is hopeless, _despite _how you forge ahead. Anyway, look how far you've come. Now _you _are in _his _place, fighting to win him back. All I can say is give it time, Lisa. Give _him_ time to _heal_. You never know what the future holds. Things might just turn around before you know it."

"Yeah," Cuddy softly murmured in agreement, even as she contemplated Kate's words.

* * *

House groaned over just how much he had to carry out to the car in picking up _two _kids from daycare rather than one. He was beginning to think he'd have to cajole someone into helping him. Or maybe blackmail would be enough to do the trick. Too bad Cameron would have her own kid to transport when she came back to work next week. Usually she'd be more than willing to do whatever he needed to help him out, especially now where Evie was concerned. He made a mental note to swing by her place and see her and the kid in the next day or two so that he could once more reinforce the guilt trip he'd been lying on her lately in hopes that she would come back early. His efforts might have been in vain but the _last _thing he wanted was her to push off her return any longer than already planned for.

Buckling Evie into her car seat, he watched Rachel in amusement as she tried to buckle herself in. Once Evie was secure, he shut the door and went around to Rachel's side, letting her think she had succeeded in securing the locks, even as he clicked them into place, distracting her. Shutting her door, he then opened his own and climbed into the car.

"Daddy, where mommy at?" Rachel called out from the backseat.

"She's probably on her way home right now," he replied, thinking back to Cuddy's call a half hour ago to verify that she'd be home in time to take Rachel so that he could get to his appointment.

"Mum, mum, mum," Evie babbled, contributing to the conversation, playing with her lips.

House glanced at her in the rearview mirror, happily sucking on the fingers of one hand while the other waved about excitedly, his thoughts quickly turning to the developing relationship between Evie and Cuddy, not to mention the night before and how Cuddy seemed to feel like Evie _was _or _would potentially_ hold the past against her forever. He frowned, trying to think of what he was supposed to do to help his kid along beyond what he already had done. In some ways, it was somewhat hard on him to watch the two bond, not so much because he was jealous, not _yet _anyway, but because sharing moments with Evie _with_ Cuddy was still so new to him. For that reason, it was with surprise that he caught himself looking back at Evie while at the next red light to instruct, "Say 'ma ma', kid."

Evie's head turned to focus on him and she removed her hand from her mouth, but only long enough to squeal in enthusiasm before kicking her feet and giggling.

House harrumphed, shaking his head, but then redirected his attention to the road ahead of him for the moment.

Rachel however had caught on to the vision and turned her head to look at her baby sister. "Ma ma," she pronounced seriously. "Say it, baby G! Ma ma!"

Evie giggled uproariously at her sister, kicking her legs more frantically in reply, especially when it gained her more attention.

"Ma ma," Rachel repeated, though she was giggling herself now at her sister's reaction.

Evie let loose an ear-piercing scream this time before pressing her lips together to make a buzzing sound with them, spit flying.

House smirked once he could hear again, helpless to be anything _but_ entertained at Evie's happy but perhaps stubborn refusal to give them what they were after, whether it was in actuality done willfully or not. The rest of the ride home continued in like manner, Rachel _trying _to talk her sister into saying mama while Evie just as adamantly ignored instruction and laughed her little heart out at _not _doing what she was supposed to, eventually causing even House to join the chant of their objective despite laughing along with Evie, both entertained by one kid _and _duly surprised by the other's endless patience and yet clear devotion to instruct her baby sister in what would bring Cuddy great pleasure when it actually panned out and the word left Evie's lips intentionally for the first time. He rifled Rachel's hair once they arrived, turning her over to Cuddy a moment later, who was completely unaware of what had taken place during the drive home, since Rachel had run into the house to see Monster while Cuddy stepped outside long enough to give Evie a kiss. House then climbed back in the car and pulled out of the driveway, headed for Mayfield, continuing Rachel's cause even in her absence, unaware of Cuddy's eyes following their progress down the street, having stepped out of the garage to watch them until she could no longer.

* * *

"So how did the visit with your mom go?" Nolan asked once House had sat down and adjusted Evie in his lap so that he could feed her some supper while he spoke with his therapist.

House rolled his eyes and pursed his lips before exhaling and looking away. He didn't even know where to begin. Nolan seemed to sense that and after arriving at his own conclusions on how the weekend must have gone, amended to instruct, "Why don't you start with Friday and tell me piece by piece, about your weekend."

"Friday," House dryly began before sarcastically asking, "Well, where _should_ I start?! Hmm. She didn't approve of my dog. Or my parenting skills. I pointed out that I knew my dad wasn't my real father. She got after Cuddy for walking away. I got stuck… comforting Cuddy," he uncomfortably mumbled, "and then telling my mother to behave herself. We ate dinner out and somehow managed not to kill each other. Saturday…"

"Hold on," Nolan interrupted, a hand up to tell him to pause right there, already having a number of questions in mind, just begging to be asked. "Let's go back. You told your mother that your dad wasn't your real father?"

"Well, I don't think that was really _news _to her," House drolly tossed out. "I mean, I kinda think she was _aware _of that fact, as it would be a little hard _not _to be aware of that, considering…"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Nolan wryly stated, rubbing his forehead. "But your mom didn't know that _you _knew, I take it," he corrected, temporarily ignoring House's flippancy.

"What? You don't care that she doesn't approve of my dog?" House asked in mock disbelief, just as quick to ignore Nolan's point. "I'm hurt by your disregard for how that's affected me. I've been crying ever since. _This _is the great trauma of my life. I'm not sure I'll ever recover. And how am I supposed to comfort Monkey, I mean, _Monster, _regarding my mother's lack of affection for him? _This _goes beyond my level of expertise. In fact, I was thinking perhaps next week I'd bring him along so that you could, you know, have a _word _with him, if you know what I mean. This is just… It's going to be so traumatic. I think he really needs someone who feels things _deeply, _someone like yourself, to make it through."

"Quit deflecting," Nolan pointedly replied, even as he gave House an impatient glare. "I heard what you said. She doesn't approve of your dog or your parenting skills. The first I hardly think is relevant and the second you've already indicated in the past. Right now, I'm more interested to delve into your family background, especially as you brought it up last week and then bolted."

House's eyes narrowed but under his breath, he mumbled, "Well, at least that gives me an excuse to _not _talk about things with Cuddy _for once_."

"We'll get to that," Nolan guaranteed him before giving him a sharp look to indicate he should get on with it.

House huffed out a breath but then reluctantly launched into a recap of how he'd discovered his dad wasn't his biological father, how he'd told his dad he wasn't at twelve years of age, how his mom had denied the truth all these years, and then followed it up with a summary of what his mother told him regarding his conception.

"And how are you feeling regarding the news of how your mom and biological father brought you into being?" Nolan asked somberly, studying House, his fingers tented before him.

"We haven't even gotten to the good stuff yet," he bitterly quipped.

Nolan raised an eyebrow at that and House looked away before shrugging and muttering, "There are worse ways to enter the world."

"True," Nolan acknowledged. "But that's obvious to both of us and right now we are talking about you and how _you_ feel about what you've learned this weekend regarding the events leading up to your birth. Or rather, I'm _attempting _to get you to talk about how you feel and you are doing your best to _avoid _being straight up with me."

"I don't know. I don't know _how _I feel about it," he semi-defensively stated, not bothering to contradict Nolan's statements, striving to just get it over with instead. "I don't want to care. I _don't _care. It's in the past. It's over. Thinking about it doesn't change anything. It can't be undone. Or _redone._ It is what it is."

Nolan watched him carefully for a few more seconds and then nodded, opting to press forward and come back to this later. "What else happened with your mother?" he inquired finally.

House exhaled through his nose, his chest jerking with the expelled air and his jaw clenching involuntarily. He could tell Nolan how strongly his mother felt he and Cuddy should make a go of it and how she'd argued for that repeatedly over the course of the weekend, but again, that was something he'd long ago acknowledged would be an inevitable part of the weekend and for that matter, beside the point. Furthermore, despite how hesitant he was in opening up about his past, part of him really wanted to focus on that and get Nolan's perspective. So after a moment he quietly revealed the happenings of Sunday and how he'd failed to keep his mouth shut, disclosed one of his memories, and the aftermath that followed.

Several minutes passed as both men considered what had been said until Nolan recapped some of what House had repeated from what he'd admitted to Wilson in the car Monday night, changing his statements around quite a bit in order to better express House's feelings, which he had been clearly loath to admit to Nolan on his own. "Tell me if I'm wrong but I gather you feel betrayed by how your mother has reacted to what you revealed this weekend. The way she left gave you no closure to the past… or maybe it would be better to say it didn't leave you with a clear indication of how it would affect your relationship with her _in the future_, nor any concept of where you two currently stood. And while you have a tendency to _run _from situations, deep down inside, we _both _know that you like knowing where things stand, _unless _you are afraid that knowing the answer will hurt worse than not knowing. Anyway, in some ways, I would even hazard to voice that you feel like John scored another victory, because her reaction appeared to be more in line with what he expected, than what you perhaps secretly hoped for, despite your pessimistic self."

As grateful as he was to be spared the drama of coming right out and spilling his inner-most feelings, House half-hated that Nolan could read and condense him like that, because he _knew _he had been more direct with Wilson for it had been in the heat of the moment, whereas with Nolan, he'd hedged and pursued greater ambiguity in his explanation of what had happened. Even Wilson, his best friend, only truly _got _him half the time. For Nolan to be so close to the truth was quite remarkable, for they hadn't known each other _that _long, even if a lot had gone down in the time they _had _known each other. As much as House now wanted to be understood, well, _at times_ _anyway_, another part of him found great pleasure in being beyond anyone's ability to comprehend. In that way, he was almost disappointed with himself for suddenly appearing so… _normal._ Really, in all actuality, that _was _a depressing finding. Nevertheless, he shrugged slightly, making no move to correct or deny anything Nolan had said.

Nolan nodded curtly and then continued by saying, "Though of course, you haven't really disclosed _what _you were hoping for _and_ your mother hasn't told you how she feels, which leaves any conclusions you've come to as… mere possibilities for how she really feels after what came out, rather than clear facts."

_This _House could argue with. "I think it's pretty _obvious _how she feels," he bit out.

Nolan raised an eyebrow at that and asked, "Care to share what she feels, then? Seeing as you have a greater understanding of her than I do presently?"

Annoyed, House grunted before allowing his eyes to drop back to his daughter, feeding her impatient mouth another spoonful of pears, only then resignedly voicing, "This is going to sound stupid."

"Tell me anyway," Nolan responded, not bothering to negate that statement as he would with another patient because this was House and that would just result in an argument sidetracking them from the real issue.

House pursed his lips but mumbled, "She left. She said she'd call but she didn't. _I_ had to call _her_. Even when I did reach her, she was in a hurry to get off the phone. Treated me like I was a _stranger_, polite but… distant. Didn't… didn't even bother to say she… loved me. And she _always _says that," he embarrassedly muttered, hating that he was acknowledging that it meant enough to him to actually register that reality, even if the obvious was bound to be… well, _obvious _and it would just be plain ridiculous to think he _had _somehow failed to notice her statements of heartfelt devotion all these years, given he was, well, _House_. Shaking that thought away, he continued, "Therefore, I think it's pretty clear…"

"What is?" Nolan asked softly, wanting House to voice his thoughts when instead of doing so, House looked away, his words dropping off.

He shook his head but then bit out, "She doesn't love me. I've… _gone_ too far or… _asked_ too much. She just wants to be done. However you want to define _it, _she's… reached her limit."

"What limit?" Nolan queried just as quietly. "The limit of… what?"

"_I don't know,_" House defensively gritted out from between his teeth. "The limit of… how much she was able to take before washing her hands of me. The limit of how far we could go together before one or the other of us grew bored with the other person."

Nolan raised an eyebrow at that and House recognized that he would be forced to amend his statement, as they both knew she hadn't grown bored with him, even if House would prefer to think she had, because then he could reason intellectually through this and force it into being somehow less personal territory. Huffing, he added, "The limit of… what a mother could _put up with. I don't know._"

"There's a limit?" Nolan inquired, as if this thought was news to him.

House rolled his eyes in response, choosing not to verbally acknowledge the question.

"Does she have Caller ID?" Nolan asked instead, opting for another route of approach.

House saw where he was going but quickly cut his line of thinking off by stating, "Nope."

Nolan shrugged but then threw out, "But she _did _talk to you, right?"

House studied him, his eyes narrowing, reluctantly jerking his head in response.

"She could have hung up," Nolan contemplated.

"That would be rude," House negated.

"I find it hard to believe that _your_ mother in particular isn't capable of being rude," Nolan lightly teased.

House smirked slightly but said, "Hard to believe it _may_ be but my mother and I _aren't_ alike. We're… polar opposites."

Nolan considered that but didn't pursue it, instead redirecting them so that they were headed back on topic by asking, "Isn't it possible that your mom is just grappling with how to handle everything she's learned?"

House rolled his eyes again before readjusting Evie and settling her on his shoulder. "That's what Wilson said. But who in their right mind hears their kid was being abused and _doesn't _respond in anger? She went to his grave, Nolan. And again, she _barely _spoke to me on the phone. If she's _grappling _with how to handle this, then why is it that I feel like _I'm _the one she's upset with?"

"Do you think maybe she feels guilty for what happened to you?" he questioned. "Yes, if it was your daughter, you'd be angry to find out she'd been abused, but wouldn't you also feel somehow responsible? Maybe that's part of the picture, even if you can't see it," Nolan concluded.

House gave him a cross look but then muttered, "The _only _reason I'd go to the guy's grave, in _her _place, would be to defile it."

"Maybe she did," Nolan said with a casual shrug.

House stared at the other man in annoyance, indicating nonverbally that he seriously doubted it.

Nolan opted to change subjects for the moment, turning to another related topic that he was certain House would be just as loath to open up about but which he found clearly relevant to the situation. "And how do you feel about your dad?" he asked, rocking his seat back and forth ever so slightly.

"Which one?" House cavalierly declared, setting aside the now empty baby food jar.

"The one who raised you," Nolan clarified, tipping his head slightly to the side as he awaited House's response. "Did you love him?"

"He was my dad," House mumbled, looking away.

"How did you feel when you found out he wasn't your biological father?" Nolan inquired next.

House made eye contact for a split second before focusing his gaze on the wall across from him. After huffing out a breath of air, he muttered, "It made things easier. It meant there was no longer any reason to try and please him because _I never would_. There was no hope of any such thing ever taking place."

"The pressure to perform in a way that would keep him happy, lifted," Nolan supplemented.

House gritted his teeth for a second but then relaxed his jaw enough to force out, "You don't know the… burden a little kid can feel regarding how they could never do _anything _right in someone's eyes. Finding out… finding out got me out from under _that_. I could do whatever I _wanted_. Disappointing him no longer had to be something I was helpless to avoid but something I could seek out and never feel guilty for."

"And if you were going to be a disappointment, you might as well do it on a grand scale," Nolan added thoughtfully, causing House's eyes to flicker back to him, widen at Nolan's perceptiveness of his psyche, and then slightly nod in acknowledgement before looking back down at Evie in his lap, seeing no point in denying that truth.

House was making this much easier than Nolan had anticipated which surprised him quite a lot. But if House was going to make it easy, he certainly wasn't about to object.

"Except he was your father," Nolan continued and then amended at the look House shot him. "The only father you knew in the role of dad anyway. You'd spent years already with him in that role. Even knowing the truth, I would guess it didn't completely lift that burden you felt. Maybe you chose to spite him as much as you could from then on out and… I don't know. Maybe you tried to give him every legitimate reason you could come up with to justify not being pleased to have you for a son. What I wonder is, secretly, were you still hoping he would one day find _something_ in you, of worth or value? Something to take pride in? Something to be proud of you for?"

House shifted uncomfortably in his chair under the awareness that Nolan was touching upon something he didn't want to be confronted with. He didn't _want _to acknowledge that Nolan was anywhere near the truth of the matter in what he'd just said and he _certainly _didn't want to admit his dad's death had left him without any hope of _ever_ pleasing the one man, whether he wanted this to be true or not, he'd spent over fifty years either trying to appease or in countless attempts to deny that he wanted any such thing.

"Oh, look at the time," he said with a faked, overly dramatic yawn as he began to get to his feet.

"I'll make you a deal," Nolan began out of the blue, causing House to immediately pause and focus completely on him. "You stick around for a while and talk this out with me, and I'll let you off the hook where Dr. Cuddy is concerned, at least until next week."

House quirked an eyebrow at him and then dryly replied, "I don't think you get how this negotiation thing works. You see, you are supposed to offer me something _I_ want in exchange for something _you _want."

"That's what I just did," Nolan responded, even as he knew where House was headed with this. He knew enough to not go right to that though, for negotiating with House could be a tricky process, especially if you wanted to come away with some sort of victory.

House tut-tutted and then shook his head in negation. "No," he slowly drew out. "Because you forget that you don't get what you want, _nor _does what you threatened me with take place, if I leave right now."

Nolan gave a short laugh but then nodded slowly in agreement. "Alright, I'll order in dinner if you hang around and talk with me more regarding your mom and two dads."

House gave him another dirty look at that depiction but tossed out, "Dinner's _your _treat and I'm _still _exempt from a discussion involving Cuddy."

"Until next week," Nolan agreeably stated, noting with pleasure that even without talking about her, he had just received confirmation that something _had _taken place with Dr. Cuddy; something that House had no interest in discussing, indicating that it was bound to be _another _hefty matter to tackle.

House finally nodded in acceptance before demanding, "I want Cashew Chicken and an extra order of rice. Make sure they throw in an eggroll too."

Nolan grunted but reached for his phone, entering the number he knew by heart from ordering in often enough in the past before relaying their order.

"And a Coke," House amended before Nolan could hang up.

Nolan rolled his eyes but added the Coke anyway before disconnecting the call.

"Now, where were we?" he inquired once he'd pocketed his cell.

House rolled his eyes and then shrugged, not about to help Nolan get back on track.

Instead of pursuing the course he had been on, always willing to throw a curve ball House's way, Nolan curiously asked, "Are you going to give your biological father a call?"

House did a double-take, not having expected that question. He scoffed before demanding, "Why in the world would I want to do _that?!"_

Nolan's mouth creased into a small smile and he shrugged his shoulders slightly before replying, "Why not?"

"_Seriously?!" _House began in disbelief. "You think I'm going to what? Show up on his door this Father's Day with a Hallmark card and a tie?! Maybe a golf shirt? Ask him if he likes to fish?" he sarcastically pushed on. "The guy chose not to be a real part of my life. What gives you the idea I _want _him in my life now?"

Nolan watched House diligently, not surprised by his sarcasm, nor the touchy reaction to his probing question. Finally he said, "Maybe you don't want him in your life now. That's one possibility anyway. But I was thinking perhaps you would want an explanation from him regarding why he didn't fight for you, now more than ever. Especially considering how hard you yourself fought for that little girl in your arms."

Nolan's eyes dropped down pointedly to further indicate Evie, even as House glanced at her, unconsciously tightening his hold on the now sleeping baby. He swallowed with difficulty as the unwelcome sensation of emotion swept over him until he successfully managed to swipe it away.

Not meeting Nolan's gaze, he mumbled, "It's not the same thing. I… Evie was the only thing I had left _to fight for_. Cuddy was… the _one._ I recognized that despite how stupid it now sounds. But she didn't want me. She had walked away. She had turned her back on all we'd… Well, all I _thought_ we could be… together. And she didn't want anything more to do with me. Evie was… my last shot at having some semblance of… I don't know," he muttered, shaking his head. "My last shot at normalcy, happiness, call it whatever you want but… Evie was _it._ I _had _to fight for her. You can't compare the two situations."

Nolan waited until House glanced up at him, hesitantly making eye contact, before he nodded in acknowledgement of what House had just said, parted his lips, and then stated, "According to your mother though, it seems she was 'the one' in your biological father's eyes. You said yourself that she implied he was unable to move on. If he couldn't have her, why didn't he at least force the issue where you were concerned? Your mother told you that she believed he thought you were better off raised calling John dad. Is that what you think too?"

House gritted his teeth together for a second but then grunted, "Nolan, for someone who is supposed to know what he is talking about, you don't know… _anything_," he substituted for a curse word. "I have no way of _knowing_ who I would have been better off being raised by. Maybe _neither_ one of them. And regardless of whether he thought my mom was… the one for him," he added with an eye roll. "It's kinda obvious that he moved on just fine. Okay. Maybe the guy never married, but… He didn't _need _or _want _me like I needed and wanted Evie. Who knows? Maybe… his career was all he needed. Maybe he never wanted kids in the first place. Maybe my mom _imagined_ that he'd look at me at times… _however _she thought he looked at me. Anyway, _don't _compare the two of us."

"Does that bother you? That I'm comparing your situations? Does it bother you that your mother implied you show certain similarities to your biological father?" Nolan queried, gesturing slightly with his hand.

House huffed out a breath, muttering, "That food can't get here quickly enough."

Nolan laughed at his exasperation and then threw out, "Truth is, you don't like being compared to _anyone_, do you?"

"As if_ you'd _want to be compared to either one of those guys," House drolly replied.

Nolan smiled ambiguously and then suggested, "Tell me about him. You said he was there off and on throughout your childhood. What was he like? What do you remember about him? Being the way you are, you must have been curious about him once you realized that he was your biological father."

House frowned. "That was a long time ago," he finally stated, trying to weasel out of a reply.

"You must remember _something,_" Nolan pushed before adding, "With a mind like yours…"

"You flatter me," House grumped, but then released his breath before resignedly volunteering, "He used to take me for ice cream as a kid on the rare occasion when I'd run into him on base, _when _he and my dad were stationed together. Back then, as I'm _sure _you don't need me to remind you, kids went anywhere they wanted to and no one really gave it a second thought. I never understood why he'd always leave afterwards, instructing me not to tell my old man, at least, I didn't until I realized the truth. Anyway, it wasn't like I was _going _to tell _anyone_. No one had to tell _me_ that would be the end of my free ice cream supply."

Nolan chuckled at that comment and the slight smirk on House's face accompanying his last words. He waited patiently for him to continue while House looked across the room, staring at a picture of Nolan with some girl he was certain was a niece or something, for there was a clear resemblance between the two of them. Then he quietly said, "One time he gave me a model airplane. I think it was my eighth birthday. It was the coolest thing anyone had ever given me. I'd go on and on about a certain toy I wanted when I was alone with my mom until she'd finally cave and agree to get it for Christmas or my birthday or whatever, I imagine just to get me to shut up, but my dad would always talk her out of it in the end, saying we couldn't afford it or it wasn't an appropriate toy for a kid my age or that I'd never take care of it properly to justify its expense. Anyway, I got that plane and I couldn't _stop _talking about it, nor about Henry. I thought he was the greatest guy in the world when he gave me that gift." Sobering House wryly continued, "A week later, my dad claimed to have run over it with one of the jeeps from the base. When he brought it into the house that night, he told my mom I'd carelessly left it in the driveway and he hadn't seen it lying there until after it was destroyed. But I was _so _proud of that thing. There's no way I left it lying around. I knew then it was better to undervalue a gift than to express pleasure in receiving it. Acknowledging what a gift meant to me… had a _tendency _to ruin everything. The next time Henry gave me a present, I pretended like I hated the thing, because I _knew _the gift was more likely to linger then. If I didn't care about it, my dad wouldn't care about it," House concluded with a shrug.

Nolan's intercom buzzed and he picked up his phone, acknowledging the person on the other end and the message they relayed before hanging up. "Food's here," he informed House, replacing the phone on the receiver.

"Phew," House sighed in apparent relief, causing the corner of Nolan's mouth to rise as he got up to head out of his office after grabbing his wallet from his drawer, leaving House and Evie alone temporarily, somehow guessing that House could probably benefit from a few minutes alone, even if he'd just relayed his last piece of information without conveying much emotion while doing so. Clearly, despite his nonchalance regarding the memory, it still held meaning for him, somewhere within.

He returned eight minutes later to find House staring off into space, Evie tucked in the curve of his arm. After setting the bag of food on his desk and unloading it, dishing out dinner for both of them, he quietly said, "You know, you've come a long ways in the time I've known you. I just want you to recognize that. And you've proven much more committed to driving all this way out to see me weekly that I ever expected you would be. It can't be without its drawbacks, especially being that you bring your kid with you each time and I imagine occasionally being stuck in the car with a cranky kid has its moments, but you've been remarkably consistent in coming and that alone testifies to your commitment to working through some things. I _would _also say that in a number of ways, that baby of yours has grounded you. But the majority of the work you are doing yourself in even coming and for that, I really do want to commend you, House. You could come and I could talk until I'm blue in the face, but fact is, you've owned these sessions and _that's _why I really believe you've made more progress than even you are currently aware of."

"You're saying you're proud of me," House said in a mumble, almost suspiciously, thought traces of doubt laced his words as well.

Nolan smiled broadly, realizing that was an accurate depiction of what he wanted to get across right now, even though he'd never expected to be _able _to say any such thing to the man standing before him _and_ be taken seriously. He nodded then. "I _am _proud of you," he agreed while clearing off one end of his desk to perch there before picking up his plate and fork to stab at a piece of chicken.

House stared at Nolan for a second before settling Evie into the carrier he'd brought in with him, then shifting in his seat, clearly still uncomfortable with accepting genuine praise _without _feigning nonchalance, verbally dismissing it entirely, or laughing it off. Grabbing his plate, he dug in with a fervor rather than reply immediately. After a moment though, he muttered a thanks under his breath, not looking up.

"You're welcome," Nolan casually replied, opening a packet of soy sauce.

After a few minutes of silence, he inquired, "Out of curiosity, what didyou say to the neighbor kid when you went for a walk Sunday?"

House shrugged, his eyes focused on his plate as he loaded his fork with rice. "Nothing at first. Boys and their obsessions with anything that comes equipped with an engine. He did ask me about my dad. And then I… I don't know. I tried to explain as best I could that not everybody grows up with a dad like he had. I said mine was no prize but… he wasn't all bad, either," House added, breaking eye contact then, one shoulder jerking in a small shrug. "I'm not sure I did a good job but Trevor seemed fine by the time we got back so I guess I didn't fail completely. He…," House's mouth twitched before a slight smile of what certainly _resembled_ affection tugged at one corner. "He said he misses his dad a lot and sometimes it makes him really sad, but then he remembers that he's kinda got two pretend dads in Wilson and I right now and we do what he thinks his dad would do if he was still around, so that helps him not feel so bad. It was…"

"Cute?" Nolan filled in with amusement.

House shot him a dirty look and dryly replied, "Only a woman would say that was _cute. _It was… nice. It was a nice thing to say. Especially when we all know I'm no prize."

Nolan chuckled but then quipped, "Aw, you're being so modest these days. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were secretly aiming for more compliments. Except we both know you can only take so many before your head swells disproportionately."

House smirked but fell silent as he continued eating, somewhat surprised when Nolan left their conversation at that, making no further attempts to inquire about how he was doing or what he was feeling, walking him out fifteen minutes later, both of them heading to their respective cars when they parted ways.

* * *

Cuddy opened the back door after hearing the garage door open, leaning against the doorframe as she watched him climb out of his car and unbuckle the sleeping baby from her car seat before closing the door and heading her direction.

"Hey," she said softly, her eyes flicking from their daughter where she lay against his chest to his face. "You are later than usual."

House nodded before replying, "Yeah. Nolan bought me dinner."

Cuddy's eyes widened to hear that his relationship with Dr. Nolan fell along those lines, though she figured that shouldn't be all that surprising, since she doubted House would stick with therapy if it was super structured and he _didn't _view the other person as someone he _could_ have dinner with on occasion. "Tired?" she inquired then, watching as he shut the car door and approached her.

House met her gaze, unconsciously admiring the way her hair fell softly about her shoulders. "Yeah," he admitted, allowing her to take the baby from him before following her inside and pouring himself a glass of water at the sink a minute later.

"I was thinking," she said then, leaning against the counter beside him, her head turned in his direction so that her eyes could search his face. "We haven't talked about how you want to handle Rachel's daycare costs. I've already paid for this month but in the future, do you want me to write you a check to reimburse you or just write a check out to the daycare and send it with you to work? _Or_ I could just drop it off myself, if that's what you'd prefer."

"I'll pay for it," House replied quietly. "It's not that big a deal."

Cuddy looked back at him, wide-eyed. "You want to pay for Rachel's child-care costs?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Why not?" he responded nonchalantly.

"House…" she began, not really knowing what to say after _that _but all too aware of how much he was already paying for in that it wasn't like he was allowing her to pay him rent or anything right now, even if she knew it was only the utility cost that had undoubtedly gone up since she and Rachel had moved in almost a month ago now.

Before she could continue, House pursed his lips and then said, "Anyway, she's basically my kid too now, isn't she?"

Cuddy's heart rate sped up but she managed to control her reaction for the most part before somewhat breathlessly murmuring, "You know, you could save yourself some cash and make that official."

"Huh?" House asked, meeting her eyes now, not following her.

"Well," she began, moistening her lips. "Didn't you say RE started this daycare thing as a way to show their staff how committed they are to being family friendly? And didn't you say one of the perks they offered you to get you there was daycare as part of the total package?"

"Sure but… Cuddy, you know as much as I _do _consider Rachel my kid too, I _can't _exactly argue that one with my boss. _Technically, _she _isn't _mine. Officially anyway," House pointed out. "And anyway, I don't have any problem with paying for daycare. Despite what you might think, I actually _do _have quite a bit of money in the bank and my paycheck at RE is nothing to laugh at."

Cuddy smiled slightly but shook her head to indicate that hadn't been where she'd been going in what she'd said. "What I meant is you could make it legal, if you _want _to. You could adopt Rachel. You could _change_ the _official_ thing."

House studied her in surprise, momentarily speechless. Then he frowned. "In order to get out of daycare costs? It isn't _that _expensive."

Cuddy sighed in slight exasperation to have him analyze what she was suggesting by how it could prove advantageous, even if she knew she'd kind of gone at it that way. But did he seriously think that was really why she'd brought it up? "Maybe that would be a benefit of legitimizing it," she airily agreed with a sigh. "But no. That's not the sole reason why I'm suggesting it. I think… I don't want to pressure you at all, House. Really, I don't. But I _do _think it's something you should _consider_. If you're happy with the way things are and don't want to change that, you can say so. But… I for one would love to see you adopt her. I… I love that you already consider her yours, whether it's legal or not, but I'd also love to support you in making it official. And I think that would mean a lot to Rachel, even if right now she's too little to understand. I think it would be a nice way to recognize just how important you two have become to one another."

House stared at Cuddy, completely bewildered by the last couple minutes, uncertain _what to think _right now. Finally he looked away and mumbled, "Cuddy, I appreciate what you're offering. I do. But… no one in their _right mind_ is going to let _me_ adopt a _kid_."

"Why not?" she couldn't help asking, straightening when he turned away from her.

"You know why," he quietly replied under his breath, slightly exasperated and not wanting to have to really explain why that should be obvious to her. "You could fill a whole book with what's stacked against me."

Cuddy huffed out a breath, rubbing Evie's back unconsciously. "House, I don't think that's true. I understand why _you think_ that's true, but I don't agree. For one, all anyone has to do is look at Evie to see that you are more than capable of fathering Rachel too. And anyway, this isn't exactly the same thing as what _I _had to go through to adopt Rachel. I… I've already checked into it a little," she admitted hesitantly, uncertain how he'd feel about that pieve of information. "Yes, it involves paperwork and going before a judge," she hurried to say. "But a lot of the other stuff is waived. There aren't as many hoops you have to jump through."

He turned to look at her in shock at hearing she'd already looked into it, but then pursed his lips before shaking his head. "I'm not… _opposed _to it. I just… _Even if _it would prove easier than I expect it would…, it should be _her _decision too. And she's too little. She… she ought to be old enough to know what she's getting stuck with and be sure that's really what _she _wants. Not just what… I want."

Cuddy bit her lip, tilting her head slightly to the side to study his profile. "But you… you do _want _to adopt her?" she couldn't help asking in a whisper.

House shot her a look like she was insane, his eyebrows drawn together and forehead wrinkled. "Why wouldn't I?" he asked somewhat indignantly.

"I could kiss you right about now," she gasped out before she realized what she was saying.

House's eyes widened and he took a quick, weary step back before suspiciously asking, "Is that what this is about? Did you… bring this up in order to…?"

"NO!" she hurriedly protested, interrupting him, shaking her head adamantly. "_House!_ Ugh, you're so suspicious of _everything!_"

House gave her a skeptical glance before turning to head for Evie's room, knowing she'd follow him. "I'm not," he denied over his shoulder. "But when I am, it's usually for a legitimate reason that _you've _given me."

"Fine," she agreed with a huff. "But honestly, just because I… want to kiss you, doesn't mean I have ulterior motives in everything I do or say. And anyway, how _else_ am I going to respond to someone telling me they want to adopt my daughter?"

House opened a drawer to remove Evie's pajamas, handing them to Cuddy once she had Evie settled on the changing table. "Well, that's true. You'd throw yourself at Jack the Ripper if he offered to adopt your offspring," he wryly quipped before disdainfully adding, "But thanks for showing restraint. I appreciate it."

"Yeah, great. And thanks a lot for your estimation of how desperate I must be to find a dad for Rachel," she dryly replied, glaring at him.

House shrugged but Cuddy rolled her eyes, grabbing a diaper once Evie's clothes were off before murmuring, "All the same, House, you should _at least _think about a co-guardianship or something. Especially considering how often you are with her. IF something was to happen and I was unreachable, I would want you to feel free to make medical decisions for her."

House sighed but nodded in acknowledgement, seeing the legitimacy of that. "Okay. I'll think about it," he agreed, hoping there would never be any reason for it to be necessary to make a medical decision where Rachel was concerned.

"Good," Cuddy softly voiced, snapping the buttons on Evie's pajamas before carefully lifting her up to place in her crib after kissing the baby's brow and whispering a goodnight, smoothing the blanket over her a moment later.

House switched on the baby monitor before glancing into the crib to be certain Evie was all set for the night before heading out of the room after Cuddy, hitting the lightswitch behind them.

"Night, Cuddy," he mumbled after setting the house alarm, rubbing his face wearily before opening his bedroom door to step within.

"Night," she murmured in response, watching him resignedly as he closed the door behind him without a second glance in her direction. She stood in the hallway then, staring at his door for a long moment, grieving the loss she suddenly felt in the two or three inches of wood that now physically lay between them. Moaning her complaint at another night of being separated from him, she reluctantly turned on her heels, shutting off the lights in the house before heading upstairs to get ready for bed.

-----

"_**I have a smile  
Stretched from ear to ear  
To see you walking down the road**_

_**We meet at the lights  
I stare for a while  
The world around us disappears**_

_**It's just you and me  
On my island of hope  
A breath between us could be miles**_

_**Let me surround you  
My sea to your shore  
Let me be the calm you seek**_

_**Oh and every time I'm close to you  
There's too much I can't say  
And you just walk away**_

_**And I forgot  
To tell you I love you  
And the night's too long  
And cold here without you  
I grieve in my condition  
For I cannot find the words to say**_

_**I need you so**_

_**Oh and every time I'm close to you  
There's too much I can't say  
And you just walk away**_

_**And I forgot  
To tell you I love you  
And the night's too long  
And cold here without you  
I grieve in my condition  
For I cannot find the words to say**_

_**I need you so"**_

* * *

Song: "I Love You" (Sarah McLachlan)


	90. Breathless

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Yea!! Another chapter! Finally! Today I had almost all day to sit undisturbed and write! This next week looks promising too! Hopefully I'll gain my momentum back, even if only for a short time before my life turns crazy again. Thanks for your faithfulness, guys! Do you know, since last chapter, this is now the LONGEST House story on Fanfic (not including those with sequels of course)?! Isn't that CRAZY?! I think it is! :) And you've been a part of what's driven me to press onward with writing it, all along! Thanks!!!_

_This is a good chapter. A fun one in many ways. I hope you enjoy it!)_

* * *

June 3rd, 2011

Cuddy stared at her office calendar, frowning as she took in the big red circle she'd drawn around the first of July, the date for her next quarterly business meeting with the full board. It was time. She knew it was. It was _past _time. Any day now she could be caught in her lies and have her world come crumbling down around her, risking someone at RE or elsewhere would recognize her, spot Evie, make the connection, and get word back to PPTH, therein sending her career into a tailspin, but… she continued to take that chance, because to call a special meeting of the board would mean having the board members come in already _expecting _something serious as a reason for meeting and she couldn't help but believe it was better to downplay the situation as much as she could than to make it into a big deal _herself. _That alone would ensure the end result would be a disastrous one. All the same, she should have done something about it before this but… she couldn't deny that she was scared; scared of what that day would hold for her and how it would change her life, potentially completely overhauling it. Sighing painfully, she rubbed her face with two hands before once again pushing aside the anguish to focus elsewhere.

House came to mind then and she propped her elbows up on her desk for a moment, cradling her face in her hands as she thought of how she'd caught him glancing at the phone repeatedly every night as if he was expecting a call, checking the answering machine for a message that was not there the minute he got home. She knew it was possible that she was misinterpreting his behavior, but she was almost 100% certain he was waiting; waiting for his mother to call. And that pained her because it wasn't a subject he would discuss with her, in fact, it was one he shot her down on if she even _mentioned _his mom in passing. But it was clear that no matter what he said, he _was_ waiting, _wanting _his mother to call him. And it was killing her to see his lips tighten around the edges every time he noted there _wasn't _a voicemail awaiting him. She hated to think about whether he was the same all day at work or with his cell phone. It was one thing if he could push it out of his mind while occupied with other things, but quite another if it was constantly plaguing him, which was her suspicion.

Straightening in her chair, she tucked her hair back off her face before reaching for her phone, having come to a decision. If Blythe could interfere in her life, then she saw no problem interfering in hers. Turnabout was fair play, right? Because this was ridiculous behavior and it was making her angry to watch House suffer any more than he already had. House needed _something_. And it _wasn't_ something _she_ could give him. But she'd do whatever she could to ensure that he got it. Because when you loved someone, sometimes, there's no other course to take.

* * *

June 4th, 2011

House sat back down with the girls at the table in the breakfast nook Saturday morning while Cuddy was out for a run, watching as Evie eagerly popped bits of pancake into her mouth while Rachel munched away on her bacon on the other side of her.

"Where's mommy?" Rachel asked for the fourth time.

House sighed, somewhat amused that she was clearly distracted and hadn't really been listening the other times he'd answered her. He couldn't exactly blame her, as she'd erupted in fits of giggles every few seconds during his repeated explanations until House finally realized she wasn't listening at all, only then glancing up from his own plate of food to see the cause of her glee, spotting Monster dancing around in a circle on the far side of Evie's highchair, clearly anticipating breakfast coming his way and not in the form of dog food. What was more amusing was that in watching, House had then caught sight of the fact that food wasn't coming the dog's way by accident, as the puppy dropped to the ground to gobble up the food Evie was fisting and then intentionally dropping over one side of her highchair, _after_ peering down to make sure the puppy was waiting for it each time. The toothy grin Evie had shot her daddy's way in realizing he'd been watching her and the dog's antics, instead of prompting him to get after her, served to make him swallow the initial rebuke he knew he was _supposed _to give her. It was only when she continued to feed the dog that he'd forced himself to put the dog away, therein drawing a pout from Evie's lips but… not actually busting her for her naughtiness, as he _knew _he _should_. It was really too bad that his kid had to be so cute. In the end, _he'd_ pay for the behavior he was right now choosing to let slide.

"Your mommy left to go running," he once more explained, finally getting back to Rachel's repeated question. "She'll be back soon."

"Ma ma," a little voice interjected, following it up with some happy banging on her tray.

House _and _Rachel swiveled their heads to look at Evie, who continued to innocently bang away on her highchair tray, though she gave them both quite wide grins at the echoed looks of surprise on their two faces and the sudden attention she'd clearly earned for herself.

"Ma ma," she repeated louder this time, lifting her chin up higher as her smile grew, giggling at the stares she was receiving from them before rocking back and forth in her highchair with enthusiasm, obviously quite proud of herself now.

House looked at Rachel, still shocked by what Evie was _now finally _saying after Rachel had spent every car ride that week persistently attempting to instruct the baby despite how her little sister stubbornly ignored her. If Rachel was older, he just bet this would have annoyed her no end. It was just like a kid sister to do what you want them to do only after you've long since stopped asking.

Rachel met his gaze, eyes wide, before squealing and shouting, "She said it daddy! She said it!"

He laughed as Rachel slithered out of her booster seat which he'd failed to buckle her into, almost falling but managing to land on her feet before crawling out from under the table to run over to Evie, staring at her little sister before demanding, "Again, baby G! Say again!"

Evie giggled, continuing to rock in her highchair, but this time she gave her sister what she wanted, practically shouting "Mama!"

"Yea!" Rachel yelled, clapping her hands happily before running off into the kitchen and excitedly going about in figure eights, causing the puppy who was watching her from his pen in the corner to bark excitedly, his tail wagging a mile a minute as he jumped up repeatedly against the side of the pen, clearly wanting to run about after her.

"Mama!" Evie shouted again, squealing in excitement before clapping her own hands adamantly.

House started chuckling, thoroughly enjoying both of his kids' behaviors and this unexpected turn of events, even if Cuddy wasn't home at the moment to witness what had gone down. Somehow it didn't surprise him to find his youngest kid was apparently bound and determined to do things _her _way, _when _she wanted to and _not _before. Considering whom her parents were, it made sense she'd prove a stubborn one.

After a few minutes of marveling at just how smart his kids were proving to be, he got up and limped over to rifle Evie's hair before he scooped her from her highchair, carefully tossing her up in the air, causing her to giggle all the more, still chanting 'mama' enthusiastically now that she saw how much attention it garnished her. Rachel wrapped herself around his leg, giggling along with Evie, continuing to yell, "Say again G!", her sister suddenly happy to comply. House had a feeling waterworks lay in Cuddy's near future. For once the idea of experiencing another rush of her gushing tears _didn't_ fill him with dread.

* * *

Cuddy entered the house through the front door following her run and pulled her earpieces from her ears before winding them around her iPod, then cradling it in the palm of her hand. Wiping the light traces of sweat remaining on her forehead with the back of the other hand, she shut the door behind her with her foot before taking the steps to grab a quick shower, not wanting to encounter House in her sweaty, disheveled state. When she returned downstairs sometime later, feeling fresh, her hair still slightly damp, Cuddy found House and the girls in the breakfast nook, finishing breakfast. Kissing both of the girls good morning, she then grabbed a mug from the cabinet and filled it with the coffee House had brewed earlier before fixing herself a plate of breakfast.

House was eyeing her with a slight smile on his lips and her eyes narrowed in suspicion as she studied him, recognizing that look, one eyebrow rising after catching him tossing Rachel a wink, the little girl giggling into her hand in response, Evie joining in with a chortle.

"What?" she asked pointedly, crossing one arm over her chest as she leaned against the wall nearby, taking another sip of the coffee she held in her other hand.

"Nothing," he stated casually, pushing his chair back to get up. But the twitching of his lips gave him away. Something was definitely up.

"What did daddy do?" she sternly directed at Rachel, scrutinizing her daughter's face.

Rachel giggled, shooting her daddy a glance, knowing he'd told her they'd surprise mommy with what her baby sister was now able to say. "Daddy not do nothing," she happily replied before shooting Evie a conspicuous glance, biting her lip to keep from spilling what daddy had told her was a secret that would make her mommy _very _happy, even as she squirmed about in her chair.

Cuddy's eyes narrowed further and she pressed, an edge to her words to indicate she meant business, "Rachel, you better tell mommy the truth. If daddy did something naughty, mommy wants to know."

"Rachel," House cautioned lowly, matching Cuddy's strict tone. She'd been honest in saying he hadn't done anything, but he didn't want her to spill her beans as to why her answer had actually been truthful.

Rachel giggled but gave him a thumbs up, not recognizing that only _furthered_ her mommy's suspiciousness. Turning back to Cuddy, she smiled disarmingly and honestly said, "Daddy not do nothing, mommy. Daddy a good boy."

House barked out a laugh but gave his oldest kid a proud smile, just betting how difficult it was for her to keep her mouth shut, despite the last ten minutes he'd poured into convincing her to be sneaky with him. He was sure that the only reason she was trying so hard not to spill her guts was that he'd promised she could help to "motivate" Evie into saying it if she didn't do it on her own, while he filmed it for Cuddy with the camcorder he'd already retrieved.

"I just bet he is," Cuddy murmured disbelievingly under her breath, frowning. But she sat down at the table with the girls regardless, picking up her fork to eat, only too aware something was going on and also, somehow aware of the fact that Rachel had probably been bribed to remain silent and would not be quick to surrender her secrets. Not underestimating his ability to get Rachel to side with him, she expelled a breath of air, accepting that she might not get anywhere in demanding an answer. Cuddy knew enough to know that whatever it was, while there was plenty of evidence to indicate mischief afoot, their behavior was still enough to reassure her it wasn't something _truly bad._ But that didn't mean she was going to let down her guard. If House was up to something, even if she'd be only too happy to see him turn playful on her, she wasn't interested in readily falling into a trap. Contemplating the eggs on her fork with sudden suspicion, she met Rachel's gaze as her daughter stared at her with a huge smile on her face.

"What did daddy do to the eggs?" she inquired then, setting her fork down with distrust written across her face.

"Would you just eat?" House dryly demanded. "There's nothing wrong with the food."

She looked doubtfully at him while Rachel giggled but then hesitantly lifted her fork to her mouth, her tongue testing the eggs carefully before she opened her mouth enough to permit them entry, relaxing slightly as she chewed.

House rolled his eyes but approached the table to help Rachel down before removing her empty plate from the table to put it in the dishwasher, eyeing his other daughter when Cuddy's attention was directed elsewhere while grabbing the camcorder from its hiding place.

Evie was contentedly sitting in her highchair, her eyes focused and expression intent on the remnants of her food which she was prodding and mashing on her tray with a finger. House sighed quietly, shaking his head. Glancing at Rachel, he could tell she wasn't going to last much longer even as she stood beside Monster's pen, a couple fingers stuck in for him to lap at with his tongue while her other hand patted her pocket. He smiled when she looked at him, clearly anxious to get this show on the road.

House nodded slightly. Rachel didn't need further permission, withdrawing her hand from the pen to run back towards the table, sliding across the floor in her socks but managing to come to a stop before crashing into Evie's highchair.

"Careful, honey," Cuddy murmured, reaching out to smooth her oldest daughter's hair before going back to her food.

Rachel reached into her pocket not at all covertly, but Cuddy was once more looking briefly House's way, her misgivings once more at the surface as she held a slice of toast in her hand, hesitating _again _to put it in her mouth, sniffing it first.

House shook his head, thinking he hadn't done _anything _to her food in the past to make her so nervous, thankful that he'd managed to obscure the video camera from view in time to escape being caught. If anything, it was her coffee she should be worried about, as he'd played his fair share of tricks in drugging coffee, though it hadn't been with hers but with Wilson's, in the past. It was fortunate though, he supposed, that she was so suspicious of _him_. It kept her distracted and made it more likely that she _wouldn't_ understand what they were truly up to, therefore preventing her from disappointment if Evie failed to comply with the plan. It also meant it would be that much more of a shock.

Refocusing on Rachel, he watched as she waved the animal cracker she'd pulled from her pocket before the baby, Evie's attention now focused on her, eyes wide and fingers opening and closing eagerly as she reached for it. House wasn't sure if it would work, but as they'd practiced a few times in some sort of Pavlovesque experiment, it was worth a shot. He stepped closer to the table, unconsciously not wanting to miss a moment of this himself if Evie did in fact follow through as she'd been _conditioned_.

Cuddy glanced up, frowning when she saw Rachel. "Don't tease her, Rachel," she said then, shaking her head.

Both Evie and Rachel turned their heads in Cuddy's direction, Rachel pouting, but House was now behind Cuddy and he nodded reassuringly for Rachel to continue, drawing a small nod from Rachel as she smiled once again, turning back to her baby sister, ignoring her mother completely. House took that moment to quietly turn the camera on and flip the switch to record.

Evie's eyes were back on the cookie now and she whined at finding the cookie _still _out of reach.

"Rachel," Cuddy stated warningly, overlooking House's proximity in monitoring her daughter's apparent willfulness in disobeying her.

But House interrupted, asking, "Evie, do you want a cookie?"

Evie's eyes swiveled back to him.

"Who do you have to ask?" he inquired pointedly, knowing that wasn't as sly as he'd hoped to be but understanding that Cuddy would screw up their plan if she tried to force Rachel into obeying her at the moment.

Evie's eyes flicked to Cuddy knowingly, then back to the cookie, before once more going to House, her mind keenly working through what was being asked of her.

Cuddy looked around in confusion, not understanding what was going on and unable to see House as he was directly behind her.

"Uh," Evie fussed, squirming in her seat as her eyebrows drew together, making one final desperate attempt to get the cookie _without _complying. But Rachel pulled the cookie even _farther_ out of her reach and Evie pouted before looking back at Cuddy. With almost palpable resignation, her expression slowly turned hopeful and she exclaimed, "Mama?"

Cuddy's gasp was audible and House quickly stepped back, leery of having her chair bang into his bad thigh if she reacted quickly, sending him crashing to the floor in agony, inherently ruining the moment, but Cuddy was too stunned to move an inch, which gave him opportunity to focus the camera upon her expression as he stepped further to the side so that he could see her face better, while Rachel jumped up and down in place beside Evie.

"What did you say?" she asked quietly then, her attention centered completely on Evie as her eyes welled with tears and she leaned forward in her seat, desperate to hear the word leave the baby's lips again.

Evie broke into a wide grin, having received the cookie from her sister. She happily looked up to meet her mother's gaze then, her little face breaking into a toothy grin as she repeated, "Mama," before hurriedly shoving the cookie between her lips.

"Yea!" Rachel yelled, clapping once again as she danced around, quite proud of what she personally _owned_ as _her_ success.

Cuddy was trembling in her seat and House looked on as Evie sent her a curious look, otherwise intent on mouthing her cookie to a soggy state.

"Did she just…?" Cuddy murmured as she shot him a doubtful look, tears leaking down her cheeks in rapid succession now, completely oblivious to the camcorder.

House's lips quirked slightly, pleased to identify how much this really did mean to her even as he nodded in confirmation. For so long, before Cuddy had come upon the scene, he'd worried about how he'd feel when Evie started innocently babbling mama, knowing she didn't have one. But today, he could not help but internally recognize how right this felt and how good it was to know she wouldn't be deprived of having a mother like she deserved.

And then Cuddy shoved her chair back as he'd expected her to do a minute ago, but instead of darting in Evie's direction, she flew at _him, _catching him off guard as she placed her hands on both sides of his neck, her fingers threading into his hair as she pulled his head down, instantly on her tiptoes to press a quick, emotion-packed kiss right on his lips, releasing him before he'd even recovered from his shock, murmuring a thank you before rushing to Evie's side to lift her free from the highchair, covering her little face in kisses as she continued to cry softly over the word that had just left her baby daughter's lips for the second time in a row.

Rachel was giggling fiercely over her mother's behavior, clearly aware that her reaction was a happy one, and House reached out for the nearby chair to steady himself so he wouldn't fall over, his eyes wide, still bewildered by the kiss he'd just received, having _never _thought to prepare himself for _that._ He didn't have the first clue how to react to it, blankly staring at Cuddy as she continued to kiss Evie as the baby squirmed in her arms, her eyes scrunched in reaction despite how she giggled, the cookie having fallen to the floor from her lips, forgotten, though traces of it would later be found on Cuddy's shirt from the drool it had generated as the cookie had been gnawed on by the few teeth Evie did have. House slowly remembered the camcorder in his hand and slowly swung it back to focus on Cuddy and Evie while his mind raced and his breathing turned shallow.

When he had recovered, incredibly uncomfortable with the sudden tightness he was experiencing in his chest and not wanting Cuddy to think _he _was responsible for Evie calling her mama and further inducing more attention to be thrown his way, he quickly stated, "Rachel spent most of the week trying to get Evie to say mama on the way to and from daycare. I had nothing to do with it."

Cuddy then turned, the baby still in her arms, and sank down to the floor with her, gathering Rachel up to press happy kisses to her face too as she thanked her repeatedly, Rachel giggling and squirming in her mother's arms. House filmed the three of them for a second but then switched the camcorder off and set it aside, choosing that moment to escape the room, retreating to get some fresh air out on the front porch where he could be alone with his thoughts and recover from the tingling kiss she'd pressed to his unsuspecting lips, a kiss he wasn't even sure _she _knew she'd given him.

Cuddy's eyes left her two giggling daughters a minute later, searching for House, her heart continuing to swell with gratitude to have this moment finally arrive and be able to share it with him. But he was nowhere to be found and she frowned momentarily, wondering where he'd disappeared to before redirecting her gaze to the girls, hugging them once more to her and pressing another kiss to each of their little heads. And then she suddenly remembered having kissed him, her eyes widening at the realization of just how impulsive she'd been. Reaching up with one hand, she wiped away the remaining tears before tracing her lips with a finger, the corner of her mouth curving up even as she kicked herself for kissing him and _not _thinking to enjoy it, savoring it while she had the chance. Biting her lip, she slowly got to her feet, stroking Evie's cheek as the baby continued to say mama enthusiastically. She worried for a moment that House was upset with her for the kiss, but then, he hadn't sounded upset when he'd told her about Rachel's efforts of this past week and for the most part, he'd suffered her sudden displays of affection in silence. Turning, she stroked her hand through Rachel's hair a second before determining that she'd just give House a moment alone and then hunt him down if he didn't turn up on his own. Refocusing on Evie, she pressed another resounding kiss to the baby's cheek before nuzzling her neck with her nose.

* * *

House sat out front on the top step, staring off into space a moment before his eyes shut of their own volition, reliving the kiss he'd received moments before, unintentionally trying to recapture the feel of her lips on his.

No! He wasn't going to do this! He wasn't going to go there! Frustrated with himself, he raked a hand through his hair, rifling it until it stood up in spots.

Dropping his gaze, his mouth formed a thin line as he eyed a crack in the sidewalk, grass growing out of it. The sound of a car slowly coming down the road entered his ears but he ignored it. Until it turned into his drive. When his eyes lifted to scrutinize the vehicle, he was surprised to not find it to be either Wilson's car, or that of Gerta, who was due to arrive anytime now. It wasn't until the door opened and a man stepped out that he got to his feet unconsciously, staring at the man he hadn't really expected to ever see again as he slowly made his way around the car and up the front walk, his eyes locked with House's the whole time.

House didn't know what to say, frozen where he stood. His mouth was dry and he felt like he was in a parallel universe as he swallowed a couple times, searching for something appropriate to say, or not so appropriate to say, just _something _to say as the other man came to a standstill five feet in front of him, nodding slightly in an unspoken greeting.

"What are you doing here?" House gruffly settled on demanding.

"Your mother called me," the man quietly replied, his blue eyes that were nowhere near as startling as his son's, more of a light blue to be exact, studying the man before him, still uncertain whether coming was the right thing to have done. He cleared his throat before asking, "Can I sit down? I had to have my knee replaced a couple months ago. It's not as strong yet as I'd like it to be."

House's eyes narrowed but he nodded curtly, too many questions now running through his head to _not _permit the other man to remain a while longer, the one holding center stage that of his mother's purpose in calling Henry _now_, after all this time_._

Instead of moving over to make room, he got to his feet, unable to deal with having any closer a proximity to his biological father than he already did. He motioned for the man to take his spot and then stepped away so that there was no risk of physically coming in contact with him, waiting until after Henry had sat down with a quick thank you to choose a spot allowing him to see the other man well while leaning against the wooden frame surrounding the porch for some support. They studied each other in silence for a moment before Henry broke eye contact, looking away, unable to sustain the intense stare he was receiving from the son he'd never allowed himself to claim, the son who, from the way he was looking at him, would probably never be open to having him back into his life, something Henry knew he deserved and therefore accepted readily, even if with resignation, for it was the inevitable truth he'd known he'd be confronting this weekend in showing up here, even if Blythe believed otherwise. Internally dismayed, he hid it well. He'd gone to great lengths to keep track of this boy as he grew up. This _man_, he amended, forcing himself to confront the fact that Greg was after all, a grownup, even if Henry had spent the last few nights dreaming of a young kid with shaggy hair and bright blue eyes like his paternal grandmother, licking a dripping ice cream cone where he sat on a wall beside a younger version of himself on one of his rare free days from the base, John House obviously stationed elsewhere short-term, for Greg's hair would never have been allowed to remain so unruly if the other man was near since reality was, Henry couldn't remember ever seeing Greg without a buzz cut as a child, _when_ John _was _on base. For a second he closed his eyes to remember, _almost _able to smell the salty breeze blowing in from the ocean not too far away which ruffled the boy's hair in the long distant past.

Henry reopened his eyes, allowing that memory to slip away as his mind wandered over the years that had passed since. He'd been the unseen witness, even if from a distance, at each graduation. He'd been the unknown reader of every journal article Greg had ever published, each of which he'd carefully preserved, having put in great effort to do the research required to better understand what the articles were talking about, not being in the medical field himself. He'd been the silent listener to several speeches Greg had given over the years, owning audio tapes Greg probably didn't even know existed. But that was just it. Unseen and unknown. The silent observer of what in actuality encapsulated only a few scattered moments from the life of his only son. And before coming, he'd sworn he'd be content with what he did have, rather than striving to attain what he did not. But that didn't mean he didn't find himself wishing more could be his. Still, he hadn't come here for himself. And even though his son had allowed him to sit down, Henry knew enough about people to be able to detect just how unwanted his presence was right now. So be it. He'd do what he'd come to do and then he'd be on his way back to Virginia, leaving his son once more in peace.

"What did she say?" House finally asked, forcing the words out, choosing to get it over with rather than sit and await whatever revelation Henry had showed up here to deliver. It was rich that she'd sent _him _as her messenger boy. He'd rather she'd sent David. His mother had a strange way of going about things. And this time, he didn't know _how _to interpret her actions.

Henry leaned forward slightly, staring out at the street as he searched for the words he'd come here intending to say. After another long moment, he released his pent up breath, pushing away the weight he felt upon him by the awkwardness hanging over their heads in being around one another after all this time to calmly say, "What's done is done, Greg. You have to forgive her. Holding the past against someone hurts you more than it hurts the other person. That's a lesson I had to learn a long time ago. I have no right to ask anything of you, but in this case, I'm asking anyway. Because it's not just for her good but for your own as well. And truth is, in this case, the stubborn woman that she is and given the way she internalizes things at times, you have to forgive her so that she can forgive herself."

Before he could get any further, House scoffed in disbelief, interrupting him to incredulously demand, "She sent you here to talk about _Cuddy?! _You've got to be _kidding _me!_"_

Henry frowned, turning his head to study the son he'd really never known. "What?" he finally asked in confusion. "Cuddy? Who is Cuddy?"

As if she'd heard her name spoken, the door behind them opened and both men directed their attention to the woman standing before them with a baby in her arms, Henry respectfully getting to his feet.

Cuddy jerked to an abrupt halt, her lips still parted in a question she'd intended to ask House _before_ her attention had come to rest on the man with him. She'd heard the sound of House's voice while searching the house for him, following it to the porch, but she'd assumed he was talking to Wilson, not… not who she _thought _the older gentleman before her must be, based on several features alone which she immediately recognized for how they also belonged to a face she'd spent more time than she could count recently being intoxicated by; his jaw, his mouth, the shape of his ears, even how his blue eyes were set in his face, all so uncannily familiar to her, despite the differences that remained between the two men. Her conclusion now confirmed, she looked from one man to the other before her eyes settled on the one who was no longer meeting her gaze, instead focusing on the baby in her arms.

Henry waited momentarily for his son to introduce him to the woman before him but then realized that probably wasn't going to happen and in acceptance of this fact, stretched forth his arm in her direction, clearing his throat before saying, "Henry Wright."

Cuddy returned her eyes to House's father and then wordlessly adjusted Evie in her arms so that she could shake the man's hand, taking several steps forward in order to do so.

"And your name?" he prompted.

Cuddy's eyes widened at her manners faux pas but before she could reply to the man with cornflower blue eyes, House straightened and did so for her. "Lisa Cuddy," he mumbled before glancing away.

Cuddy turned to look at him concernedly, slowly retracting her arm once her hand had been released.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Henry continued, studying the woman before him intently, his mind working rapidly to track down the connection Greg had obviously found between what he'd said and the woman before them, not missing the look in her eyes as she worriedly bit her lip, contemplating House, her arm coming back up from her side to reach out towards him, even if she stopped herself upon realizing he wasn't quite within reach. Once again Henry was confronted with the awareness that while he might professionally know of his son, at least to a degree, he didn'tknow _anything_ of a _personal _nature anymore. Beyond the little Blythe had told him this week over the phone when she'd caught him off-guard with an unexpected phone call, nothing of which had been positive and all of which had centered on the events of yesteryear. He briefly wondered whether Greg still loved rocky road before dismissing the irrelevant thought, having enough sense to avoid asking the ridiculous question.

"And this little lady?" Henry inquired politely, shaking himself from his ponderings and now allowing his attention to center upon the baby in Lisa Cuddy's arms, a baby he really needed no explanation to identify as belonging to his son and the woman before him, feeling a sharp pain in his chest at finding he had a grandchild he would also never know.

"Cuddy, can you take her inside?" House asked immediately, his voice suddenly pinched.

"House…" Cuddy murmured uncertainly, not understanding what was going on nor whether the older man whose eyes rested almost… hungrily upon her daughter, was deserving of the walls House had obviously brought up around himself in attention being directed Evie's way, but suddenly aware that she might have played a role in this with the voicemail message she'd left Blythe.

"Please," he muttered through his teeth, his eyes meeting Cuddy's.

Cuddy straightened, understanding that one word was an unspoken plea for her to do what he asked of her and not question him right now. Slowly she nodded and turned, making her way back into the house, glancing once more over her shoulder almost regretfully at the older man whose eyes followed her and the baby before closing the door soundlessly behind her. In the silence now surrounding her, she heard herself angrily add into the phone, "_He's waiting for you to call him, Blythe. Your son's WAITING. Are you really going to rob him of the one parent he has? You got after me for how I walked away from Evie but now you're doing the same thing to HIM. What kind of mother does that make YOU? At least when I left, Evie had House. You… you've just ABANDONED him. I don't care if he IS an adult. It's like you've turned your back on your child. What does that say about you?" _Cuddy was suddenly left wondering, had Blythe sent Henry here, genuinely believing he could take on the role of parent after all this time, in her stead?

* * *

Once the door was closed, House turned back to Henry, his jaw aching from how tight he was clenching it, his eyes narrowing. In a low tone, he grunted, "You don't get to do this. You don't get to show up here after all this time and pretend like you have the _right _to say _anything _to me. You don't have the right to give me advice or to try and insinuate yourself into my life after thirty-some years of being absent from it entirely. Just because you bought me ice cream a handful of times as a kid, _doesn't_ make you my dad anymore than biology does, where I'm concerned."

House didn't know where his anger stemmed from. Or rather, he didn't know if this was the result of all the emotions he'd had washing over him throughout the past week or if it went much deeper and testified to being the result of questions and doubts he'd entertained over the last thirty-eight years, revolving around the man before him and the… rejection he felt tied up in the man's choice to not be a part of his life, playing the role that was legitimately his to play. Regardless, House felt that for the guy to show up _now,_ seemingly playing _dad,_ just added insult to injury. He was caught by surprise and then turned wary as the man before him nodded in agreement with his words.

"You're right," Henry quietly agreed, not breaking eye contact. "And I apologize if in coming today, I seem presumptuous. In truth, I completely understand, for I feel rather presumptuous in coming myself. I will not pretend to know what you must be feeling in having me show up here with no warning whatsoever. But please… Let me say what I've come to say and then I'll be on my way. I won't even attempt an apology for the past, because I know it would fall quite short of what you deserve of me and you probably don't want to hear one anyway, nor do I think you'd believe one. I know you think I've come wanting something. I can see the suspicion in your eyes. But I'm well aware that I have no right to ask for anything. All the same, I guess I am asking something of you. But not for myself; for your mother."

House had not expected _any_ of the statements that had just left Henry's mouth. For a moment, he wondered how in the world his mother thought he was like the man before him. After a few seconds of hesitation, he gave a somewhat reluctant, curt nod, despite remaining distrustful.

Henry nodded slightly in response and then opted to remain standing, ignoring the slight arthritic pain stabbing him from his recuperating knee. "Your mother is of the persuasion that you'll never be able to forgive her for the past," he began.

House looked at him dubiously, shaking his head, but this didn't deter Henry from pressing on. "She called me last Monday. She… told me things I'd… never expected, though perhaps looking back now, I should have. I should have come before this. I should have left Virginia immediately after her call. But… I suppose I was afraid," Henry admitted, meeting House's incredulous stare. "Don't look at me like that. Just because I was a Marine, doesn't mean I'm fearless. There are many things I fear. I'm man enough to admit it. Anyway, to be honest, what… what your mother said… Well, who _wants _to hear that when it's too late to do anything about it _but_ feel conflicting emotions, self-doubts long buried and thought to be at rest, and… righteous anger that I'm not righteous enough in the situation to justify? The point is Greg, your mother is under the impression that she is no longer deserving of calling herself your mother. And even if you are in agreement, I've come… Well, I've come to tell you your mother needs you. She called again last night, once more reinstating how much you… need me now and how proud I'd be to call you my son. And I would be… I would be proud to do so. But that's beside the point. Because I don't think you _do _need me. Nor am I deluding myself into thinking you _want _me. But your mother on the other hand… She needs you, Greg. She needs your forgiveness too. Maybe you don't think she deserves it, but which of us is deserving of any forgiveness, be it from God or man?"

House couldn't believe what he was hearing and the idea that _he_, the _last _person who should be listening to this, considering he had no faith at all in a greater being, was about to get a sermon from the man before him (and yes, he _knew _his father was a minister now and had been since his retirement from the Marines) _furthered_ his irritation. Rolling his eyes, he interrupted to declare, "I don't have the slightest clue what you are talking about. _She's _chosen to walk away from _me. _It's not the other way around. Whatever my mother said to you, you've misunderstood her entirely. I promise you that."

Henry shook his head in disagreement. He hadn't misunderstood. He'd listened to a woman he… still felt things for, cry in a strangled voice over the telephone line, helpless to do anything for her and initially, too ashamed and intimidated, to do the one thing she'd asked him to do. Until yesterday anyway, when she'd called, sobbing to the extent that her words were completely indecipherable, now literally _begging_ him to go to her son and take the place she'd, in her _own_ words, identified as one she'd robbed him of from the start. Henry knew he'd shortly find himself at her door, once he'd concluded his mission regarding his… boy. For he'd forgiven her long ago. Regardless, if she couldn't believe and accept that over the phone, he was willing to suffer the pain of seeing her with someone else, _again, _if it meant extending to her the forgiveness she didn't consider him to be genuine in offering from a distance. He… loved her too much and understood what it meant to be forgiven too well to allow her to continue beating herself up unnecessarily. Shaking his head again, he said, "I didn't misunderstand."

House pursed his lips, his attention momentarily redirected to Gerta as she parked on the street rather than blocking in the other vehicle, and then proceeded to walk up the drive and sidewalk, bypassing them without a word so as to not interrupt whatever she assumed had been forced into a pause at her presence. For a moment House was amused by her wordless actions, giving her a slight nod to let her know she was free to just walk inside when her eyes rested only for a second upon him before she entered the house. Once she was within, he turned back to the older gentleman who was now slightly bent over, rubbing his knee.

Resignedly he finally asked, "Look, what is it you want from me? Can we just get to the point and have this encounter over with?"

"All I want is for you to get in contact with your mother and talk to her," Henry quickly replied, sensing he was on thin ice. "If you are okay with her, I want you to communicate that to her so that she _believes _you. If you aren't, I'd ask that you… give some serious thought to forgiving her for her role in what happened. I'd ask that you recognize how much she loves you and how she thought she was only doing… what was best for you."

House rolled his eyes and muttered, "She doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I don't blame her. _She_ blames _me_."

It was Henry's turn to quirk an eyebrow, his eyes narrowing in disbelief as he further scrutinized the son he'd never actually allowed himself to call his son, outside of in his head, though _once_ he'd tested the word on his tongue. "She doesn't blame you, Greg. She _blames herself_. What… John did to you… Your mother feels responsible for. She loves you. You're her son," he dryly responded.

"Yeah well… tell that to _her_," House mumbled under his breath, disregarding everything Henry had just said.

Henry had the distinct feeling that there was a _great deal _of miscommunication going on now. But he really didn't think he was going to get anywhere if he hadn't already and he was more than aware he'd come without an invitation in the first place. Maybe he'd have better luck reasoning with Blythe. He'd overstayed his welcome so to speak, the minute he'd pulled in the drive.

Expelling his breath, he dug in his pocket, removing his billfold so that he could pull out a card. Passing it to House, he quietly said, "This is probably the _last _thing you want to hear but… if you ever need anything, give me a call."

House scoffed in disgust. "Little late to offer to borrow me your car or fifty bucks for gas money, isn't it?" he snidely remarked.

To his irritation, Henry's mouth quirked into an amused smile House had seen one too many times in his own mirror to _not _recognize. "Fifty seems a little high. After all, when you were a kid with a brand new license, it would have cost less than ten bucks for me to fill your tank," he quipped lightly.

House didn't reply, not even to sarcastically retort in any way whatsoever, instead turning to climb the steps, having every intention of walking away. Now.

Before he could reach the door though, Henry stopped him in his tracks, somberly stating just loudly enough to ensure he was heard, "Money means nothing to me. If I thought it could buy me your forgiveness, or that you had any real use for what I have in my bank account, I'd turn it over to you without a second thought. But we both know you don't want anything from me. Not even an ice cream cone with three scoops of rocky road. Life's funny that way, huh? What I wouldn't give now to go back and sit at Sam's Ice Cream Parlor with that cheeky kid with mischievous blue eyes so like my mother's and a shaggy head of hair my… friend couldn't resist permitting to grow out in her husband's absence. Guess that just goes to show the musings of an old man. Anyway… if you decide you want that apology, I'm going to stay overnight at the Comfort Inn. Room 312. Just… so you know."

And with that, House heard the older man walk back towards his car, the sound of his shoes on the concrete resounding in his ears. House didn't bother looking back, turning the doorknob in his hand and pushing it open, stepping into the house and closing it behind him as an engine came to life out front.

* * *

Cuddy looked towards the door leading into the hallway, slowly getting to her feet with Evie who had fallen asleep in her arms following her bottle. Rachel sat quietly at her feet, flipping through pages of a stack of books she'd removed from Evie's shelf, one by one. Laying the baby down carefully in the crib, Cuddy turned back with the intention of tracking down House, only to find him standing in the doorway, his eyes looking down and to the left of her, lingering momentarily upon the sleeping baby before he turned his gaze to Rachel, who had yet to notice him.

Cuddy stared at him, her lips pursing, drinking in his battle-scarred, weary expression before he could better mask it. It was hard to grasp that this was the same man who she'd thought only an hour ago to be up to something, his eyes alight with mischief and a smile tugging on the lips she'd… innocently kissed in her own exuberance only moments later. Without hesitation, she went towards him now, wrapping her arms tightly around his chest before resting her head against him, sighing in mutual weariness of what seemed inescapable, the _constant_ onslaught of one thing after another. She rubbed her cheek against his chest in grateful surprise when his arms slowly descended, wrapping around her, returning the embrace, not caring so much how long it happened but just that it had. She wondered how much time would pass before he knew this was where he belonged; _right_ in her arms. If there was one thing Cuddy understood, it was how desperately she did _want_ to be the one for him at the end of each day, reminding him that she'd be there to weather whatever storm that came along, _with _him, right at his side.

"You okay?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah," he said after a second of hesitation, still lost in his own thoughts.

She momentarily wavered in her own indecisiveness, deliberating between asking him to expand on that answer or waiting until later to do so, giving him time to think. In the end she remained silent, not wanting to give him just cause to release her prematurely. When he dropped his arms from around her a minute later, clearing his throat to indicate the time had come for her to release him, she did so, a soft affectionate smile lighting upon her lips even as he walked away.

----

"_**Here you are now  
Fresh from your war  
Back from the edge of time  
And all that you were  
Is stripped to the bone  
I thought you 'd want to know **_

**_When you feel the world is crashing_**  
**_All around your feet_**  
**_Come running headlong into my arms_**  
**_Breathless_**  
**_I'll never judge you_**  
**_I can only love you_**  
**_Come now running headlong_**  
**_Into my arms_**  
**_Breathless_**

**_Lay down your guns_**  
**_Too weak to run_**  
**_Nothing can harm you here_**  
**_Your precious heart_**  
**_Broken and scarred_**  
**_Somehow you made it through_**  
**_I only ask that you won't go again_**

**_When you feel the world is crashing_**  
**_All around your feet_**  
**_Come running headlong into my arms_**  
**_Breathless_**  
**_I'll never judge you_**  
**_I can only love you_**  
**_Come now running headlong_**  
**_Into my arms_**  
**_Breathless_**

**_Breathless _**

**_So glad to see you smiling_**  
**_So good to hear your laugh_**  
**_I think that you've found you even_**  
**_Missed yourself_**  
**_I'm only asking this because I think_**  
**_That truth be told_**  
**_Oh, you'll never go again_**  
**_No, no_**

**_Again, again _**

**_When you feel the world is crashing_**  
**_All around your feet_**  
**_Come running headlong into my arms_**  
**_Breathless_**  
**_I'll never judge you_**  
**_I can only love you_**  
**_Come now running headlong_**  
**_Into my arms_**  
**_Breathless_**  
**_Breathless_**

_**So when you feel the world is crashing down**_

_**I want you to come running into my arms"**_

* * *

Song: "Breathless" (Better Than Ezra)


	91. I Will

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(So sorry about how long this chapter took me, guys! My mind keeps wandering with ideas for what I want in the upcoming chapters and I get distracted, having to skip ahead and write stuff before I forget it. The song choice was suggested by sweetladykc so I want to thank her for the suggestion! I hope you enjoy this chap! I'm not planning to go too deep with this subject matter but I can't NOT touch on it. It's part of the progress between House and Cuddy. So again, thanks for your patience!!!)_

* * *

Cuddy helped Rachel quietly put all the books back on the shelf before picking her up, closing the door to Evie's room behind them, and heading into the living room, setting the little girl down on the floor near her basket of toys before she herself sat down on the piano bench beside House. His hands were resting on his thighs and she wondered what he was thinking of as he stared down at the keys. She didn't have to ask.

"He played the piano," House mumbled under his breath.

Cuddy turned her head slightly to see him better and then asked in a mixture of confusion and disbelief, "That's what you two talked about?"

House shook his head, continuing to look at the piano keys. Pursing his mouth he said, "No. I was just thinking. When she was here, she told me that there are parts of me that remind her of him. I don't mean just appearance-wise. That's obvious. But otherwise, I don't see it. I guess I inherited his musical abilities, anyway."

Cuddy nodded but remained quiet a moment, not really knowing what to say and mostly, not wanting to say the wrong thing and have him fall silent. Reluctantly, not seeing a better time of saying this ever happening, she finally murmured, "It… might be my fault he came."

That caught House's attention enough to drive his head up to meet her eyes.

Cuddy caught her lip, worrying it between her teeth, but then shrugged a shoulder helplessly, her eyes falling down to her lap. "I…" She tried to start again, moistening her lips first. "I was upset with your mom. After all her righteous anger and rebukes regarding how I wasn't there for Evie from the start…, she went and left the way she did, just… walking away. Without an apology or explanation or… an understanding of how she felt regarding what you'd opened up about. You… You don't _do _self-disclosure and so, to see you open up and then have her walk away… It made me mad. As someone she'd just gotten done lecturing for making the same error," she substituted, intentionally opting at the last second to leave out how it had upset her due to how she felt about him and purposely steering clear of stating any of the feelings she suspected him to harbor in his mother's avoidance and absence, as his rather than hers, in hopes that he'd be less upset with her then. "So I called her. She didn't answer but… I left a message, pretty much like she did back when Evie was first born."

"When?" House asked when he could force his mouth into working, watching her solemnly.

"Yesterday," she admitted, glancing up at him.

House worked through what Henry had said in his mind and then calmly replied, "My mom had already called him on Monday. She called him again yesterday night, most likely because of receiving your call, which yeah, is why he came now. But I got the impression he would have eventually shown up due to the first call, Cuddy. That one was _all_ my mother."

Cuddy met House's gaze then, searching his eyes for how he was doing and what he'd found out.

"What did you say?" he asked, interrupting her thoughts, his eyebrows knitted and a slight frown tracing his mouth in having to ask this.

Cuddy moistened her lips. She was a bit surprised that he hadn't grown angry just over her admitting to having called his mother in the first place. She had a feeling things were about to change. Pressing her eyelids closed for a moment, she then blinked and said, "You're going to be angry with me."

House studied her a second, his eyes narrowing before he dryly replied, "Just tell me what you said and get it over with."

Taking a deep breath, she cringed but revealed, "I asked her what she was thinking and… told her that she needed to call you. I said that you were… waiting for her to call. You seemed to be anyway. You've been looking at the phone all week as if you were just waiting for it to ring," Cuddy offered in explanation. "I… I told her that she's the only parent you have and just because you are an adult, doesn't give her permission to walk away and leave you to deal with this on your own. She left that message for me, scolding _me_ for walking away from Evie. Now she seems to be doing the same thing to you and it… It made me angry. I… didn't hesitate to communicate that."

Silence fell between them and Cuddy was too nervous to look at him, just waiting for the hammer to drop. But when House huffed out a breath of air, she reluctantly peeked at him from the corner of her eye.

"Why does _everyone _feel the need to meddle in my life?" he asked rhetorically in annoyance.

Cuddy opted not to answer that, thinking it best to hold her tongue.

House rubbed his face but then slid off the opposite side of the bench before wryly muttering, "I'm hungry. I'm going to go make lunch."

"Hey House, wait!" she called out before he could get too far, swinging around on the bench to face him.

He raised an eyebrow but waited as requested, his expression only moderately grumpy.

She smiled then, a slow smile that curved up her lips before taking over her whole face, transforming her expression with its radiance. "Thank you for this morning," she murmured affectionately, giving him a subject change that would maybe ease whatever tension she might have just created between them in calling his mother while acknowledging once more how close she held this morning's events to her heart. "With Evie. It… it meant a lot to me."

House rolled his eyes but a corner of his mouth rose up in response, his expression relaxing. "Yeah, I kinda got that," he sarcastically quipped, shaking his head before turning a second later to make his way out of the room, Rachel running after him. She watched them go, still smiling, and then got up to go after him, figuring she'd help with lunch preparations.

* * *

House was out back with the girls and the dog while Cuddy loaded dishes in the dishwasher, when Wilson, Erika, and Trevor came outside. Trevor greeted him but then headed for Rachel and Monster where they were playing out in the yard. House watched Wilson and Erika approach, his arm draped around her shoulders. Erika gave House a big smile and then bent down to scoop Evie up from the blanket she was playing on, pressing kisses into her neck and drawing out giggles as she talked to the baby, Wilson stroking Evie's cheek.

"My biological father showed up today," House said without preamble.

Wilson whipped his head around to stare at him, dumbfounded, while Erika straightened her posture, adjusting the baby in her arms as she waited for him to continue.

House gave a brief rundown of what had taken place, opting to take advantage of the kids' distraction.

Afterwards Wilson asked, "Cuddy _called _your mom? Bet _that _didn't go over well with you."

House shrugged dismissively, his eyes flicking to where Rachel, Trev, and Monster were.

"That didn't bother you?" Wilson inquired incredulously, thinking of how often _he_ annoyed House by involving himself in his affairs without invitation.

House met his gaze and then rolled his eyes. "Shut up," he dryly intoned. "That is completely something _you _would do."

"Yeah but…" Wilson began, thinking that it would be even worse for _Cuddy _to do what she'd done than for him to.

"So what are you going to do now?" Erika queried, interrupting their bickering before it could escalate and distract them from the real focus of the conversation.

The back door opened then and they all glanced in the direction of the porch as Cuddy exited the house, heading their way. House turned back to them and asked, "Do about what?"

Erika smiled Cuddy's way in greeting but replied, "Are you going to call your mom or just go down to see her?"

House raised an eyebrow but admitted, "I don't know yet."

"Hey Wilson," Cuddy greeted, coming to stand beside House. "Erika."

"Hi Lisa," Erika responded, her eyes going from Cuddy to House to Cuddy again.

"Hey," Wilson replied, noting and pondering the fact that Cuddy looked more relaxed and carefree than he'd seen her in a long time.

Turning back to House, Erika continued, "Maybe you _should _swing by the hotel and talk to Henry some more. I mean, you know where he's staying. You might as well go and find out exactly what your mother said to him on the phone to give him the impression that _you _didn't want _her_ around anymore. It would _at least _give you some clarity on how to approach her."

Wilson cleared his throat but Erika opted to ignore the warning she knew he was trying to give her. If House didn't want her to talk about this in front of Lisa, he'd say so. She had no objection of her own, and frankly, she was more than a little curious to gauge how things were between the two of them.

"Ma ma ma ma ma," Evie began to babble, her hands opening and closing as she reached for Cuddy.

Cuddy smiled and leaned past House to take the baby from Erika, settling her against her chest while stroking her back, before glancing at House, interested in what Erika had just acknowledged and waiting for House to reply.

House frowned, thinking over what Erika had just said. "You offering to babysit?" he asked doubtfully then, not thrilled about going to Henry's hotel but preferring that to not getting anywhere in this mess. He was just tired of it all. There was way too much drama in his life right now. _Something_ had to come to an end.

Cuddy turned to House, her forehead knitting. "The girls can stay with me," she pointed out.

House _almost_ allowed his eyes to flick towards Wilson before meeting her gaze, but he managed to stop himself. Pursing his lips, he then said, "You might as well come with me," before sarcastically adding, "You practically _started_ this whole fiasco."

Cuddy's eyes had widened at the invitation but then she rolled them in response to the last part of what he said, knowing he wasn't upset with her. Still, the fact that House would invite her along was a big deal. It was shocking that he'd even consider going to see Henry in the first place.

"I can watch them," Erika replied easily, before Cuddy could figure out what to say. "James, Trevor, and I were just planning on hanging out at home today anyway. We're going to order pizza and rent a movie."

Wilson frowned, not really liking this but not about to raise an objection either. It had nothing to do with having the girls with them and everything to do with Cuddy accompanying House to the hotel. But it wasn't like he didn't understand House's motivation behind his invitation, even if he'd rather House just come right out and say he didn't want to leave Evie with Cuddy but didn't really want to take Evie with him to see Henry at this point either. Right now he'd prefer House upset her than that he take her along as if she was an ally. Once upon a time, maybe she had been. But Wilson's own alliance with House now kept him from opening the doors to seeing Cuddy as anything other than a past double-crosser. He _had _to be the one on guard now, patrolling the minefields. No matter how much he wished he could erase the painful portion of the past and trust Cuddy the way he once had.

House ignored the emotions flitting across Wilson's face, able to distinguish a significant portion of what his best bud was thinking right now. Focusing on Erika, he nodded before saying, "I'll get some things together and then bring the girls over."

Erika nodded in response, watching House turn and head into the house a moment later. "When did Evie start saying mama?" she asked Cuddy then, reaching out to stroke the baby's cheek as Evie gnawed on a fist.

Cuddy smiled, biting her lip, but replied, "This morning. I came back from my run and she surprised me. _With_ some help from Rachel."

Erika could tell from the way Cuddy glanced in the direction House had gone that he had been involved as well, but she didn't say anything, understanding that House was in a matter of speaking, the wall still separating Wilson and Cuddy from finding themselves on the same side of the line, even if Erika wasn't so sure they weren't already _on _that same side. Reaching for Wilson's arm, she gave it a small squeeze while saying understandingly, "I bet that made your day."

Cuddy nodded, not about to deny it, before giving the baby's neck a sweet kiss, her eyes tender and full of happy emotion. Even Wilson gave a half-smile then, his expression softening to witness Cuddy being affectionate with his niece.

Seeing him smile and wanting to get back on more even ground with him, reestablishing their friendship, Cuddy teased, "So I assume things are going well between you two." Focusing on Wilson, she added, "I've noticed your car parked next door twice this week at five in the morning as I ran past."

Wilson's ears turned red while Erika blushed slightly, laughing under her breath before glancing Wilson's way, turning back to Cuddy to request, "Please don't tell House. We… Trevor doesn't know yet and House would tease Wilson and me endlessly. I'd rather we hold off on that until I figure out how to bring this up with Trev. It's a miracle that House doesn't know already but…"

"I won't," Cuddy reassured, nodding.

"I think I'll go check on House," Wilson mumbled, uncomfortable and embarrassed with where the conversation had gone. Cuddy was still his boss, after all.

Erika laughed at his self-consciousness as he walked away but then met Cuddy's gaze to inquire quietly, "How _are_ you and House doing?"

Cuddy searched the other woman's face a moment, trying to decipher how to answer that question. Ultimately she smiled softly and said, "Good, I think. We… we're making progress. I think that might be the only good I see having come out of his mom's visit. House and I… We've at least had a chance to talk a little about… our past."

"Good," Erika replied contentedly, satisfied and feeling no real need to press for more information than that. "Now, before the guys get back, I wanted to bring up next Saturday."

Cuddy looked at her in confusion, waiting for her to continue.

"Next Saturday is the 11th. _June_ 11th," she said pointedly, glancing at Trevor and Rachel over Cuddy's shoulder where they were throwing a Frisbee for Monster, who spent more time chewing it than bringing it back to them.

It took a minute but all of a sudden Cuddy blinked and Erika watched understanding dawn on her. Not waiting for a reply, she began in a conspiratorial tone, "Wilson leaves Tuesday morning for his conference in D.C. but he's planning to be back Saturday morning. House doesn't know that. Right now he assumes Wilson will be back sometime the Monday after. I'd like to leave it that way, allowing House to assume Wilson's forgotten his birthday again," she said with an eye roll, thinking of how Wilson had informed her that he seemed to always remember House's birthday a day or two _after _it was past because House was quite deft at distracting him, not wanting the attention and avoiding thinking about that day himself. "I was thinking I'd ask to cancel dinner both Mondays, using wanting to spend some time with Wilson as an excuse, and then see if we can reschedule for next Saturday, when Wilson is supposedly out of town. But I'm not sure if he'll grow suspicious. If he turns me down, I just wondered if you could find a way to get him next door around noon. Chase and Cameron are coming with their baby, but otherwise it would just be Wilson and I, you and House, and the kids. Just a _small _surprise birthday party, nothing overdone that will annoy him. Well, not _too_ much anyway."

Cuddy nodded but then admitted, "With everything that's been going on lately, I'm not sure I would have remembered _before _Saturday rolled around. I have this bad feeling I'd have woken up at two in the morning, knowing there was something I was supposed to remember but too late to really put much thought into what to give him as I made a desperate last minute run to the store. So thank you for reminding me, Erika," she genuinely murmured, her gratitude outweighing any embarrassment she might have felt in having someone else remind her about House's birthday. She didn't want to think of how she'd have felt if she didn't find out until they were _at _his surprise party.

"No problem," Erika said dismissively, waving it off. "I wouldn't have known it was his birthday if Cameron hadn't called Wilson a few days ago to see if we were planning on doing anything to celebrate."

Cuddy smiled softly, Kate's words of her potentially having found herself a new friend running through her mind. "Would you like me to bring anything?" she inquired then.

Erika laughed but shook her head. "Just the birthday boy," she answered. "Anything else and he'd be suspicious. I get the feeling this will be hard enough to pull off under his radar as it is. I just hope you're good at keeping secrets. Otherwise, he might not show and even if I have a key to the house, it wouldn't be much help if he left to go into hiding."

"I can pull my own weight," Cuddy replied self-assuredly, her chin raising a notch.

Erika smiled brighter, laughing.

Just then the guys returned, coming out the back door with a diaper bag. House looked from Cuddy to Erika and then frowned at how chummy they appeared. "What are you talking about?" he asked suspiciously.

Erika shot him a cheeky grin and nonchalantly replied, "Oh, you know. Girl talk."

His eyes narrowed and he skeptically asked, "Isn't that code for talking about guys?"

Erika's grin grew and she raised her eyebrows playfully before stating, "We were just discussing favorite actors. I was telling her that although half the world's population has the hots for Brad Pitt, I'm really more of a Pierce Brosnan fan. Except for the movie Troy of course, where Pitt's muscles do it for me. Lisa on the other hand," Erika made up, "she was telling me that Hugh Jackman is more her type. But she asserts that she liked him _before _People Magazine nominated him for Sexiest Man Alive."

"I actually _do_ like Hugh Jackman," Cuddy admitted in a whisper under her breath, neither of the guys close enough to hear as they'd paused when House reached the steps to pick up the puppy and put him in the house.

"I'm not surprised," Erika replied, not moving her mouth nor turning her head in Cuddy's direction. "I've seen the way you look at House, practically salivating over his scruffy face."

Cuddy's head swiveled on her neck, eyes widening in shock to have her neighbor, a woman more House's friend than hers, voice that synopsis of her behavior of late. Rosy spots formed high on her cheekbones at the smirk Erika had aimed at House, even if Cuddy knew it was more directed at her.

"What did you say?" Erika inquired then, her gaze shooting back and forth between Wilson and House in suspicion as they came in their direction.

"Me?" House asked innocently. "Nothing."

"Uh-huh," Erika mumbled with an eye roll, having caught Wilson's choked chuckle from a second before. Turning to Cuddy she reached for the baby, taking her after Cuddy pressed a kiss to her chubby cheek and passed her over. "Rachel, Trevor. Let's go next door and play for a while. Mommy and Daddy have to go somewhere for a little bit."

Cuddy smiled softly, her heart skipping a beat in having someone else refer to her and House as Mommy and Daddy.

"Where going?" Rachel asked, running up to her with a slight frown on her face, her arms circling around Cuddy's knees.

"We just have to go talk to someone for a little while," Cuddy replied reassuringly, sweeping the little girl's hair back from her face. "We'll be back. You'll just have more fun with Trevor than you would, coming with us."

"Okay," Rachel answered, hugging Cuddy's legs before taking off after Trevor, already heading into Erika's house.

"What am I? Chopped liver?" House grumbled, making his way over to bypass Cuddy and blow raspberries on Evie's neck, getting her to giggle and squeal happily.

Cuddy laughed but didn't reply, turning to head back to the house. "Give me a second to grab my purse and I'll be ready to go," she called to him over her shoulder.

"Be quick about it," he bossily retorted. "I want this over with."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, not doubting the truth in that statement.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Cuddy parked her car in front of the hotel, House having decided it was best to leave his car at home and his keys with Erika, just in case she and Wilson needed the car seats in an emergency of some sort. House thought briefly of what Wilson had said when he'd entered the house, not surprisingly questioning his decision to bring Cuddy along. He himself wasn't sure why he'd offered. Granted, there was the Evie thing, but truthfully, he thought part of it was that he _did_ actually want someone else's take on the man he hadn't seen in years and therefore, why _not _take Cuddy? It would save him having to answer any questions she'd eventually ask him if he didn't. And maybe in taking her, he'd… get a better perspective on the workings of his mother's brain, than he himself could come up with. After all, Cuddy _was_ female.

In the end, he hadn't really given Wilson any explanation at all, just brushing off the subject, changing it until Wilson huffed and gave up. But he figured he'd eased Wilson's tension significantly after provoking a chuckle following his snide remark of "Once a Cougar, always a Cougar", in response to hearing Cuddy liked Hugh Jackman. Granted, the actor probably wasn't _that _much younger than Cuddy, but it would have been hard _not _to say _something _smart-alecky, being that the situation between him and Wilson could benefit from a little comic relief_._

House glanced Cuddy's way after a moment to see her studying him thoughtfully, having already shut off the engine and removed her key from the ignition.

"Are you ready?" she asked.

House rolled his eyes as he reached for his door handle, shoving it open and climbing out, not wanting her to think this was a big deal when it wasn't. They were just going to go in, see if Henry was up for a cup of coffee at the Starbucks down the street, someplace ambiguous and memory-free, meet him there, and spend ten minutes, tops, with the man. That would be the extent of it. What was so noteworthy about that?

Cuddy's eyebrows rose in response to his attitude but she climbed out of the car, following him into the Comfort Inn after clicking her key fob to lock the door, wondering just what lay in store for them and what they'd find out in the minutes to come. She wasn't about to say this to House but she was really interested in seeing what his biological father was like and judging for herself, just what the two men had in common.

* * *

Henry had looked surprised to see them when he opened the door in response to their knock but he had been more than willing to meet them as requested. After ordering their drinks, the two men went to sit down in the entryway to the Barnes & Noble connected to the coffee shop, Cuddy having dismissively waived off Henry's offer of assistance, heading in the direction of the nearby counter where the barista would hand off their drinks.

House sat down, eyeing Henry doubtfully, but Henry just looked back at him, a small smile on his lips.

"I appreciate the invitation," Henry acknowledged then. "I certainly didn't expect it."

"Yeah, well don't get too excited," House mumbled gruffly, looking away. "I'm only here to find out what my mother said to you."

Henry nodded. "I'm not sure what I can tell you that I haven't already implied in what I said earlier, but I'll do my best," he replied.

Cuddy came then, passing House and Henry each a cup of coffee before taking her own latte and setting it down at the place next to House, then turning to throw the cardboard carrier away before sinking into her seat. She glanced at House, her eyes sweeping over his features a moment, before turning to focus on Henry, who House was staring at.

Henry, noting that all attention was on him, Greg obviously waiting for him to lead, cleared his throat, his hand encircling his coffee cup, slowly revolving it in a circle, and then began, "Blythe called me on Monday. I… haven't heard from her in a number of years and the call caught me by surprise. It took me a few minutes to determine who was calling, partly because it was so unexpected and partly because she had barely gotten my name out before she broke down. I honestly didn't expect what came next. I… The last time she called me, it was to say that John had passed. I… was worried this time that something had happened to…" Henry stopped, his eyes closing briefly, House's expression having brought his words to a halt. When he reopened his eyes, he met House's gaze and continued, "But she wasn't calling for that reason. Blythe told me she had gone to visit you and that during the course of her visit, she'd found out that John had… mistreated you as a child."

At the fierce look in House's eyes, Henry quickly put up a hand in Blythe's defense and said, "I think she couldn't force herself to just say he'd abused you, simply because saying it like that would have rendered her unable to speak at all, her guilt already palpable over the phone. To say you'd been mistreated by John may have been a great understatement but it was what she could handle voicing to me in that moment and I want to be sure you understand that she wasn't trying to water down the truth but that the Blythe I spoke to was a very broken version of herself. She then told me what you'd revealed," he quietly said, his eyes going down to focus on a knot on the table, remembering how he'd held the phone tightly to his ear, eyes pressed closed as he listened to every word that slipped forth from her mouth, his jaw tightening as the story progressed. "I could barely hear her because it was disclosed to me in a choked whisper, but I was able to piece together what had happened to you on the one occasion she knew of. And to say I'm sorry _would_ be a gross understatement."

"Regardless of what you said earlier, I didn't come today to get an apology. So don't go to any trouble," House grumbled, interrupting him. "Just tell me what she said."

Cuddy's breath caught and her eyes went to House as she bit her lip, tentatively finding his left hand where it rested on his leg, fist clenched, and placing her right hand over his, weaving her fingers between his in support once he'd relaxed his hand and flattened it against his leg, even as she unconsciously strove to calm him. His eyes flickered to her face briefly upon the contact being established but he made no move to remove it, not wanting to make a big deal of what she was doing nor lose his focus, simply frowning at the gesture, his attention returning to Henry.

Henry nodded in understanding and determined to get back on track, giving his son the information he wanted, knowing there was a part of him that he was wrestling with now because he wanted to explain himself, even if his son hadn't come for any such thing. Now wasn't the time. Even if it would be difficult, Henry resolved to try and keep on task. "You'd… told her that you were aware that John… wasn't your biological father. She… For the first time, she verbally acknowledged to me that you were my son. Before that, well, we'd all pretended like it wasn't so. For many reasons, really. Anyway, she said you informed her you'd known that for a long time. I wish I'd…" Henry stopped himself before he could complete that statement, working hard to keep to his course. "I don't know if you know this but your mother went to John's grave on Memorial Day. I must admit, at that point in the conversation, I lost patience with her. I'm quite flawed, you see. I shouldn't have reacted as I did to that news, or maybe it's that I should have been more able to set aside my personal feelings and focus on what she was going through. But that… just didn't sit well with me. Your mother picked up on that fact, I guess it was rather obvious though, and then she admitted to me that after… after what happened between us, she'd sworn to herself that she'd do everything in her power to earn John's trust again and to… prove herself worthy of him. Worthy of his love. Honestly, that came as no surprise to me. It seems like a pretty typical reaction when one is genuinely repentant about something. But in truth, I think it was that striving that… has made her secretly miserable all these years."

House gave him a droll look and then countered, "She _wasn't_ miserable. I think I'd have known if she was."

Henry paused a moment, looking away before taking another sip from his coffee cup. Finally he replied, "Maybe you would have had to know her _before_ to see the change _after_."

A silence fell across the table and it was a couple minutes before Cuddy found herself unable to resist asking, "What _was _Blythe like when you met her?"

House's eyes shot to her momentarily but he couldn't help the curiosity stirring within him. It was a question he never would have asked Henry, and yet, it was one he now wanted to hear the answer to. Sliding his hand out from under hers, he brought it up on the table, opting to drink his coffee with that hand. He really couldn't encourage her to keep this up. Ironically though, her hand remained where it lay on his leg. House didn't make her move it.

Sitting back in his chair, Henry considered the question before answering, "The Blythe I first met was lively, funny, and had this vitality to her that made everyone do a double take. She was sure of herself, secure in who she was; she turned people's heads and lit up a room with her presence. She had charisma. She just… got under your skin. And once she did, you didn't want her to leave. She was… enchanting, but in an atypical manner. And at the same time, she had this sense of humor that always left you guessing whether she was serious or not."

"Believe me when I say I love my mother. But in this case, I think you've got the wrong woman," House dryly interrupted. His mother had been wonderful growing up. She'd been the bright spot in his childhood. But she was _not_ the woman Henry was describing. Not by any means.

Henry smiled but it was a somewhat sad, regretful smile. Instead of negating House's conclusion, he picked right back up. "After what happened… After the events of the night in which you were conceived, she became a different person. Guilt… Well, I think in many ways it consumed her. And your mom… For lack of a better word, she settled. I'm not saying that because she didn't divorce John to be with me. Not at all. Back then, divorces were still uncommon and your mom… She had committed her life to being with John. Furthermore, she still loved him. Maybe she loved him all the more because now she felt undeserving of him. But anyway, her marriage was important to her, she didn't _want _to walk away from it, and… I understood that. I… respected that decision. On top of that, right from the start she _wanted_ you. And she wanted you to grow up with a mother _and_ father who were married. She admitted that was so on the phone. Since John never made any objection, she thought the three of you could still find a way to have the perfect life together. I think she made that her life's goal. She wanted to make _both _of you happy. But the problem was, there was never any point where she dealt with what had happened. She never talked with anyone about what took place in that alleyway, all the emotions she was combating due to almost being raped, nor what happened between… us. She just aimed to cover it all up and pretend it never happened. And therein, she settled. She settled because she chose her misery, her guilt, always punishing herself for the mistake we'd made, rather than finding a way to work through everything and forgive herself, allowing herself to be happy, whether that happened with or without John, depending on whether he could forgive her too. She settled for being a person who was _less _than who she _was. _And looking back I think in that she condemned _herself_. We'd made a mistake and it had its costs. For both of us. But your mom… Your mom never reached a point of feeling she'd paid _enough_ to _whoever _she felt she owed."

"You're saying if I hadn't been conceived, she'd have been a different person today," House gruffly stated, his tone reflecting just the slightest trace of bitterness.

Cuddy's eyes widened as she looked at him, her heart aching. "House…" she murmured before she could stop herself.

Henry looked at him in surprise though and before Cuddy could say more, said, "We'd _all _be different people if you hadn't been conceived, Greg, but that's not at all what I'm saying here because reality is, it wasn't your conception but the events surrounding it that changed her. Greg, your mother has _never _regretted you. Not for a moment. Even _I_ know that. You gave greater meaning to her life. You… were probably the best _part _of her life. I was there the day you were born. Only for a moment but… I was there. I… I remember the look on her face as she held you in her arms. No one would ever doubt for a moment that she didn't adore you from the start. No, what I'm trying to get across is that how she handled her guilt was the issue."

He paused to take a deep breath but then charged right back in, before Cuddy could ask the question already on her lips, wanting to know why he'd been there for House's birth. She was not about to find out.

"John came back to find she was pregnant with… my child. Of course he was upset. Beyond upset. He was livid. But I don't think it was ever something he actually talked to your mother about. It wasn't something that _he and I_ ever talked about, not after that first encounter anyway. But people… People who suppress things and never let them out in the open… Eventually it wears a body down. Little by little, your mom lost her self-confidence and vitality and who she was quickly revolved into whether or not John was happy and if she'd made up for the slip in her faithfulness yet. Now this is all me talking, but that's what I honestly believe after having a few days to work through what she said on the phone. You might think that would have been okay with John, because in that way, your mother gave him a power over her that he hadn't really had before. And I think there were times when that _was_ useful to him; when her guilt worked _in his favor_. But I think he felt cheated too. The woman he'd married was no longer the same woman. You were the only one who ever seemed to evoke signs of the old Blythe from her. Oh, she'd felt she had wronged you too, but she wouldn't have traded you for the world and she wanted to give you everything she could. In a way, she tried her hardest to insulate you from the truth so you _wouldn't _be hurt by it, whether or not she succeeded in her attempts. But again, the child that you were, you became the one person in her life that brought about bits and pieces of the Blythe from before. There were times I suspected John held that against you, but I didn't know just how bad things were, nor… what he did to you when no one was looking. If I'd suspected…"

"It doesn't matter," House dismissed nonchalantly, not wanting to go down that path.

"It does," Henry disagreed, but he left it at that out of respect.

Cuddy wasn't quite sure what her role was to be in this, actually intending to sit quietly and just let it all play out, but she hadn't exactly succeeded in that so far, nor had she been stopped, so when a couple minutes of awkward silence passed without anything more being said, _she_ took the initiative. "So then, Blythe went to John's grave because…"

Henry looked at her almost gratefully for bringing him back on track and he said, "It was habit, she was lost, and… she needed to confront what she'd learned, in her own way, without anyone else present to witness her inner battle. Really, Blythe has just trained herself to react first with denial. She tried to do what was normal for her to do because she didn't _want _to face what it would mean if she allowed herself to comprehend just what the truth of the past was. She tried to pretend she could go on with life as she had done and not have the lies she'd built for herself, come crashing down around her ears. She _wanted _to cling to the belief that you were somehow mistaken, John _had _been the perfect husband and father and you'd been loved as you'd always deserved to be, even if you seemed to not comprehend that. She wanted to believe that the guilt she'd felt all her life was the only cross she needed to bear, so to speak. Then she got to the cemetery and what she wanted to believe no longer mattered because she _couldn't _believe it. Blythe said all she saw was your face in the moment you told her of John's abuse and she shattered, there at his grave. But let's face it: a cemetery on Memorial Day _isn't _the place to be when you finally break. Her grief attracted a lot of attention, not to mention the way she was clawing at his grave marker. In the end, one of the gatekeepers was called in to handle the situation and he finally called someone to come get her, after tracking down a first aid kit to take care of her wounds. In any case, by the time you called, she'd decided the best thing she could do was leave you to live your life in peace. In her mind, _she _was responsible for anything that had happened to you. This is what she still believes and is adamant about. She confessed that she did her best on the phone to pretend like everything was fine because she says you'd worry about her and she doesn't deserve your care any longer. She feels you've played the role of a dutiful son to the best of your ability, whereas she no longer feels she's lived up to her role as a dutiful mother and protector. She'd already resolved that she could no longer be in your life and that decision _wasn't _to spare _her _pain but to spare you from the constant reminder of how she'd failed you and been responsible for all you'd suffered when she was blind and didn't do her job to ensure you _were _showered with the love she'd thought she'd guaranteed you _in _staying with John and raising you with him as your father. Most of this though, _didn't_ come to my attention until last night. On Monday, our conversation centered on what she'd found out, how broken up she was about it, and how she felt I _deserved _to be a part of your life. I probably _should _have understood that her intention was to remove herself from your life so that you could live without that reminder of all you'd suffered, once again punishing _herself_ at the same time, but I was having too hard a time trying to wrestle my own demons and comprehend the past to realize what she meant. Yesterday though, yesterday I realized it was not just her desire that I re-enter your life and take 'my rightful place' there, as she put it, but that I take _her _place as well. Yesterday the storm gates opened and I finally understood just what she was trying to get across. I'd understood the guilt and the feelings of inadequacy as a parent, but I hadn't seen just how far it had gone and how hard she was trying to make sure she _paid _for her sins from here on out. I knew then that whether you wanted to see me or not, I _had _to come. I'm leaving first thing in the morning to go see your mother. I fully intend to help her see reason. But I… couldn't go to her first, not without having talked to you to know where you stand with her. Since it would seem this is not at all what _you _want, I give you my word, I will do my best to make her understand that. But at the same time, I don't know that she'll believe _me._ She needs to hear it from you, Greg. She needs to know that you can forgive her for the past and that you still want her in your life; that she's not only going to cause you further pain from here on out."

And with that, Henry fell silent, studying his son across the table, trying to read his eyes and decipher the emotions contained within. House remained quiet, not knowing what to say.

Cuddy took advantage of the silence. "Why were you there when House was born?" she asked, interrupting both men in their train of thought. She had her own theory but she wanted to hear what his answer would be regardless.

House got to his feet, Cuddy's hand falling from his leg, before Henry could even open his mouth to respond. "I'm ready to go," he muttered, turning to head for the door.

Cuddy stared at him in bewilderment, though it quickly passed. _Of course_ House didn't want to know the answer to her question. She supposed that was his right but she couldn't help the look she gave Henry as she too got to her feet, albeit, with reluctance.

House stopped at the doorway, turning back to face them. Hesitantly he said, "I'd like to know how she's doing, once you've seen her."

Henry nodded in agreement. "You have my card. My cell phone number is in the bottom left-side corner."

With a nod of acknowledgement, House turned and walked out the door, not looking back.

Cuddy stared after him for a moment, not knowing what to say. Turning back to Henry, she bit her lip, finally extending her hand for him to shake once more. "It was nice to meet you," she managed to say.

Henry nodded, shaking her hand. "It was nice to meet _you_," he replied with a small smile. "Take… Take care of him for me."

Cuddy smiled slightly at the realization that her relationship with House had never been clarified and he probably assumed she and House were an item, but she nodded, hoping this wouldn't be the last time she saw the man before her. Somehow she hoped that one day House would open himself up to even a casual relationship with him. She thought they could both stand to benefit from one. Letting her hand fall back to her side, she turned then, slipping out the door to find House waiting for her beside the car. She unlocked the doors, having forgotten she'd been the one driving, climbed in as he did the same, buckled her seatbelt, and then turned to glance at him before putting the car in reverse, pulling out of the parking space and getting back on the road that would take them home a moment later.

* * *

The first few miles passed in silence, neither House nor Cuddy knowing what to say. It wasn't until Cuddy laughed in the driver's seat next to him that House looked over at her, being pulled from his thoughts, his eyebrow quirking, not understanding the joke he'd apparently missed.

"What's so funny?" he asked doubtfully, continuing to eye her as the light turned green and she applied pressure to the accelerator.

She turned her head in his direction for a second and an almost apologetic expression came over her face before she bit her lip, turning to face forward once more as she checked traffic before switching lanes. She contemplated not answering truthfully, afraid he'd be irritated with her, but then decided to be honest, hoping he'd be amused, rather than aggravated. Smiling, she helplessly confessed, "I was just thinking how much it would have grated all these years if I'd had to walk around PPTH calling you _Wright._ You can be smug enough as it is. _That _would have _killed_ me."

House turned back to stare out the window without comment, but his mouth curved up in a smile and Cuddy, quite pleased with herself for bringing that about, settled for driving the rest of the way home in silence. She parked the car in the garage sometime later, killing the engine but making no move to leave the car. She was surprised when House spoke up.

"Thank you. For coming with, I mean," he acknowledged gruffly, clearly reluctant to express any gratitude at all but forcing himself to do it regardless.

Cuddy bit her lip but nodded. She'd been a little worried that he'd be upset with her now, especially after hearing how Blythe was _really _doing with what had been disclosed. She was relieved to find that he didn't seem to blame her for the role she'd probably played in worsening Blythe's guilt, even though _she_ couldn't deny feeling guilty for what she'd said.

"I want to be here for you House," she murmured a second later. "_However _I can."

"Cuddy," House began, his voice carrying a warning note to it.

Not giving him a chance to continue, she gave him a careful smile and interrupted, "Let's go get the girls."

House stared at her a moment but then released his breath, nodding slightly before reaching for his door, pulling the handle to open it and climb out, the two of them then walking next door together in silence._  
_-----_  
__**"How do I put into words  
That my feelings for sure?  
You're the one I'm here for**_

_**I, I'll**_  
_**Nothing I wouldn't do**_  
_**I would never desert you**_  
_**Hurt you**_  
_**I want you to know**_

_**Who's gonna be there**_  
_**Standing by your side forever?**_  
_**Who's gonna help you**_  
_**When you can't keep it all together?**_  
_**And who's gonna promise**_  
_**That they'll never leave you all alone?**_  
_**I will, I will, I will**_  
_**For you**_

_**Try**_  
_**When the night feels too long**_  
_**When all your hope is gone**_  
_**I'll show you how to carry on**_  
_**Oh, 'cause now**_  
_**In your eyes I can see**_  
_**Everything you can be**_  
_**And if you're lost I will find you**_  
_**Remind you**_  
_**Don't you know?**_

_**Who's gonna be there**_  
_**Standing by your side forever?**_  
_**Who's gonna help you**_  
_**When you can't keep it all together?**_  
_**And who's gonna promise**_  
_**That they'll never leave you all alone?**_  
_**I will, I will, I will**_

_**For what I believe**_  
_**I'd risk everything**_  
_**You know I believe in you**_  
_**And you're willing to fight**_  
_**'Cause you know deep inside**_  
_**It's the right thing to do**_  
_**It's the chance that you take**_  
_**It's the bond that won't break**_  
_**Love is the one thing**_  
_**That never ever ends**_

_**Who's gonna be there**_  
_**Standing by your side forever?**_  
_**Who's gonna help you**_  
_**When you can't keep it all together (keep it all together)?**_  
_**And who's gonna promise**_  
_**That they'll never leave you all alone?**_  
_**I will, I will, I will**_  
_**For you I will**_

_**Who's gonna be there**_  
_**Standing by your side forever?**_  
_**(I'm gonna be there)**_  
_**Who's gonna help you**_  
_**When you can't keep it all together?**_  
_**And who's gonna promise**_  
_**That they'll never leave you all alone?**_  
_**I will, I will, I will**_  
_**For you I will**_  
_**I will"**_

* * *

Song: "I Will" (Bianca Ryan)


	92. Smile

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I opted to cut this short so I could publish it right now, considering it's been almost a month since I last posted a chapter for this story! I'm really sorry about that, guys! We'll get back to it now! Oh, and next chapter will include House's birthday, since I wasn't far enough along to incorporate it tonight. But two one-shots and a chap for this story isn't too shabby, for one 24 hour period of posting, huh? :) Hope you enjoy it!!! And if you do, please review! (I don't really intend to be as corny as that sounds. Sigh.))_

* * *

Cuddy entered the house via the deck door with Evie in her arms and Rachel and Cookie Monster right behind her to find House just returning the phone to its cradle. They'd stayed at Erika's for a little while, eating pizza with them while House wryly filled Wilson and Erika in on what Henry had to say before coming home. Cuddy had then volunteered to take the dog out, knowing House wanted to give his mom a call and could use some space, even if he hadn't said so.

"Did you get a chance to talk with her?" she asked, pulling the door shut behind them before brushing a lock of hair from her eyes to study him.

House shook his head, turning around to face her. "I just got the answering machine," he said evenly.

Cuddy nodded thoughtfully, thinking about Blythe.

House glanced away, watching Rachel who was squatting beside Monster, petting him as he lapped water from his dish, his tail going a mile a minute the whole time. "I don't know what I would have said to her if she'd answered anyway," he mumbled with a shrug of his shoulder.

Cuddy raised an eyebrow at this admission but then inquired, "Would you want to take off a few days from work and go down to see her? I could get the girls back and forth from daycare while you're gone if you could get the time off." She thought about suggesting he ride with Henry but she knew better because he wouldn't have any interest in doing so, nor would it be practical, since Henry would most likely head back home immediately after seeing Blythe.

House shook his head, nixing the idea. Calling his mom was one thing but cornering her and forcing her into talking with him when he was still struggling with the situation himself, didn't sit well with him. Then they'd _both _be tense in this uneasy situation they were now in the midst of. Not that it mattered, since he had other things scheduled that he didn't want to have to cancel.

"I have Evie's ninth month appointment with her pediatrician on Tuesday. I've already rescheduled once because of a patient. I don't want to put it off any longer. If you want to come, you can," he suddenly thought to offer, knowing this was really her first opportunity to go with to one of Evie's doctor appointments. He tried to remember why he hadn't offered when he'd scheduled it for last week but then thought of the drive time she'd have if she opted to come. "It's at 8 a.m. though. The clinic where her pediatrician's practice is located is right by my office. Not so convenient for you but if you want to come…" With a small shrug, he concluded, "It's up to you."

Cuddy's lips curved upwards as she swallowed hard and bit her lip before nodding. "I would like that," she murmured, her eyes softening.

"Okay," House nodded in acknowledgement.

"Daddy, we play piano?" Rachel asked then, shooting him a hopeful look, her eyes wide and pleading.

House smirked. "Sure kid," he replied, taking her hand when she offered it to him.

Cuddy watched the two of them walk out of the room together before pressing a kiss to Evie's forehead, turning to prepare a bottle for her before slipping into the living room to watch House and Rachel at the piano awhile.

* * *

June 8th, 2011

Cuddy took a seat while Kate finished speaking with her secretary before entering and closing the door behind her. Her eyes focused on Cuddy after she sat down across from her, smiling warmly, already having picked up on the fact that she was much more at ease this week than she had been the week before.

"How are you?" she asked anyway.

"Good," Cuddy acknowledged with a sigh. "I'm… really good."

"How are things going with Evie?" Kate inquired next, getting more comfortable in her chair.

Cuddy's smile grew and she tucked her chin down and to the side a little, the pleasure she was taking in whatever she was thinking about palpable. "She called me mama for the first time this weekend. And yesterday House invited me along for her ninth month check-up. She's doing great. _We're _doing great."

Kate gave Cuddy opportunity to recount the happenings of Saturday morning, not missing the emotion in her eyes and the way her voice grew soft in talking about House's participation which Cuddy was certain he'd downplayed, as well as in Rachel's role and in hearing "mama" leave Evie's lips for the first time. She smiled at Cuddy's account of the trip to the doctor the day before and how House had rolled his eyes at her for hovering beside Evie as she was examined, asking countless questions, constantly shooting glances House's way to make sure he didn't seem to feel she was overstepping her bounds or mind her intense involvement in an appointment _he _had made and which she herself clearly still felt uncertain about in regards to her "right" to be there for.

"You're still struggling with identifying and embracing what your role in Evie's life is to be, aren't you?" Kate inquired, knowing that was kind of a leading question but in her opinion, one that had the potential of causing Lisa to consider it carefully.

Cuddy looked away but her expression grew more serious. "Maybe not so much what my role is to be, and certainly not in embracing it, but… a _little_ in whether I have much right to _claim_ one. I… House has always highlighted my guilt complex. But when it comes to Evie, I think we both downplay the situation I've created for myself. You'd think he'd take advantage of my guilt, exploit it, especially considering how much I've hurt him. You'd think in the tense moments between us when painful things are exposed, he'd lash out and grab at my 'wrongdoings', using them to hurt me back or rub them in. But he doesn't and while I know I should be grateful, there are times when I just wish he _would_ so at least the subject would be out in the open and I could… I don't know, ask him how to go about making things _right. _Don't get me wrong, I understand that I can't erase anything. But I wish… I wish I knew a way in which I could come even close to correcting the situation completely or… in which to make it up to him somehow."

Kate nodded in understanding, leaning forward in her seat. "I know you still feel like there is a lot left unresolved between you and House, but what do you most want to resolve regarding Evie?"

Cuddy bit her lip but then mumbled, "No one here at PPTH other than you, Wilson, and Chase, even knows about Evie's existence. I… I'm _going_ to correct that. I just… I've pushed it off until now and… while I know that there's a potential for this ending very badly for me, this can't go on forever. And regardless of the outcome, I want to make it clear to everyone that I'm not… _hiding _her because I'm ashamed of her or… love her any less than I do Rachel. I love Evie _so much._ And it _kills me _to feel like I'm living a double life. I just…"

"You can only handle so much at a time," Kate finished for her compassionately, honestly impressed that Lisa had come to a point where she'd decided all on her own that she was unhappy with continuing to harbor such a huge secret and wanted to get it out in the open, since Kate hadn't made an issue of it, thinking Lisa already had enough to deal with and personally uncertain as to what should be done in that circumspect, as she was not really familiar with how a situation like this would be handled by those overseeing Lisa in her role as Dean of Medicine and Chief Administrator here at PPTH. Plus there was the _only randomly occurring _awkward reality that the woman before her was still in all actuality, her boss, somewhere in the chain of command, and while that didn't usually carry any impact over onto their sessions, in this regards, Kate wasn't all that certain _how _to best direct her.

"When are you thinking of telling everyone?" she asked, choosing her questions and the order in which she raised them, carefully.

"There's a quarterly board meeting on the first of July," Cuddy readily informed her. "It'll consist of the whole board and so doing it then will save me the trouble of telling the story repeatedly. Plus, Wilson will be expected to be there. And somehow, despite everything, I think he _will _be there for me when I need him to be. I think given the circumstances, he'll prove much more supportive than either one of us can conceive of at the present."

"How are you feeling about this?" Kate inquired, trying to gauge where Lisa was at, since planning to tell everyone and expecting some relief at having it out in the open didn't exactly mean she wasn't struggling internally with the issue not just at large but in every ripple effect that could jet outwards in her admission.

Cuddy's eyes shut, squeezing closed for several long seconds, but then she released a pent up breath and met Kate's gaze with an expression of pure nerves. "I'm concerned," she softly acknowledged with a small head bob, underplaying her emotions somewhat. "While this is a personal circumstance in my life, the lie was not a minor one. And regardless of whether or not my personal life is anyone else's concern, there are plenty of reasons why one could argue both that this _has _affected my ability to do my job well _and_ that it's impacted the hospital itself, costing them donors and the financial endorsements/contributions they bring with them. I made decisions, _bad ones, especially_ concerning House, while in _my own_ personal hell. What happened created someunnecessary and _tense_ situations for several employees who were in one way or another, drawn into the situation through their relationship with either House or myself, or the both of us. While I can't say patients were affected negatively, directly by what was going on, I can't say they weren't. And while I _do _think I _have _come out of this to the point where I _am _capable of completing my responsibilities here at the hospital and contributing greatly to its success, and I'd… _hope _that you'd be able to back that up should the board one day ask you to, I… realize that in revealing the past I'm also suddenly springing upon them the reality that in what happened _I didn't_ and therefore _haven't _always put the hospital and its best interests first. Not to mention that… my accountability and character as someone they can trust becomes up for auditing in that admission. I don't have it in me to imagine just what the best case scenario could be, because I can't allow myself to have false hopes, but at worst, it will cost me my job. And that has _its own_ possibility of ricocheting off to affect my odds of ever finding another position like the one I currently have. Frankly, at this point I'm somewhat concerned that I'm going to be overqualified for anything less. So what does that mean? I… don't know."

Kate nodded, allowing silence to descend between them as they both processed what had been said. "What does House think of all this?" she queried after a long pause.

Cuddy looked up at her from where she'd been staring down into her lap, eyes widening that Kate would think he'd even _know_. Shaking her head somewhat violently, she asserted, "I haven't told him and I _won't_ tell him. This is a mess _I've made._ And I'll clean it up. It's not one I'd ever expect him to help me with. He's also got enough on his plate right now without worrying about _my_ dilemmas. And on top of that… What I did cost him," Cuddy admitted sadly. "It cost me but it cost him too. And I know from Wilson that in telling everyone at PPTH that Evie was stillborn, I only hurt him worse. I wasn't really thinking of him when I did it. I wasn't necessarily _trying _to hurt him. I just did what I thought was best for _me _and… caught him in the crosshairs, in a way. So, no. I won't go to him with this. That would… be selfish of me."

Sighing deeply, she looked away but then looked back at Kate, her eyes now swollen with unshed tears, and as she ran a finger under her eyes to try and catch them and quickly rid them from her sorrowful expression, Cuddy murmured, "And maybe it's also a little selfish on my part to not say anything. But House and I have _so much _we still need to talk about. I can't bring this up with him and be confronted with his anger and hurt and _then _go before the board too. I just can't. So I'll go to him after the fact, when things have been decided and I'm not in any way asking _anything _of him, except to hear me out and _consider_ forgiving me for whatever hurt I caused him along the way."

Kate nodded, passing Cuddy the box of tissues which she accepted with a tremulous smile and a small laugh at how she was once more sitting there crying over _something._ Kate allowed Cuddy several minutes to compose herself while she ran through all the angles she could come up with in which they should look at this, so that Cuddy could best prepare herself for what lay ahead, strengthening and fortifying herself in the process. They spent the rest of their session together talking through Cuddy's intentions and what she planned to ask of Wilson, when the time came.

* * *

Nolan listened carefully later that day to House's recap of the past weekend and his biological father's sudden appearance, at first thinking House's diversion of bypassing what they hadn't talked about the week before to open up with the last week he'd had, was just House's way of deflecting attention from whatever _had _transpired between him and Dr. Cuddy that he hadn't wanted to discuss the week before. But then he genuinely got caught up in House's revelations, intently listening to every detail.

"Do you _ever _catch a break?" he asked, only slightly sympathetically but mainly incredulously, when House took a moment to huff out some frustration in the midst of his recounting of transpired events.

House rolled his eyes but then drolly pursed his lips together and grunted, "Not lately."

Nolan shook his head, a whole new list of questions joining his roster. He glanced at the baby sitting on the floor nearby babbling contentedly, playing with what Nolan desperately _hoped _wasn't one of the dog's chew toys, and then returned his attention to House before picking back up with his questions and inquiring, "So after you went home from meeting your biological father at Starbucks to talk about the situation with your mother, after you called only to get her voicemail, what did you do? What happened next?"

House exhaled through his nose but then shrugged casually before admitting, "I tried several times throughout the next day but she never answered. I called Henry around 8 p.m. Sunday night to check in and find out if he's seen her and he told me he'd found her working outside in the garden, spent several hours talking extensively with her, and then basically told me he hoped she'd call me but he thought it best at this point to let the two of us talk without him as intermediary. I tried to call her after hanging up with him but she didn't answer. I… I left her a voicemail, asking her to call me back. The phone rang several hours later. The girls, Cuddy, even I – we'd all gone to bed. So I grabbed it before it could wake anyone else up. I don't know if it was an emotional impulse made because it was now early in the morning, if she was just getting home from someplace, which I kinda doubt, or if it just took her that long to decide to call me but… We didn't talk for long. She was worried about how late it was and my having to work the next day. She wouldn't shut up about it. So finally I just let her go. She… She promised to call me back this weekend. I don't know that much was said between us in the end but… She asked if she could come out for my first Father's Day next week and I had no objections to that. Plus… she did say she loved me."

Nolan didn't miss the relief hidden in House's eyes and couldn't help but marvel once more at the simple truth of how sometimes, _despite _how crazy families were, not a one in the bunch without _some _kind of _serious _dysfunction, in the end, more times than not what they brought you made suffering through their idiosyncrasies and royal screw ups, if not thoroughly compensatory, at least worthwhile in one fashion or another.

"Do you intend to see Henry again?" he asked next, giving House a break from the topic of his mother even if it didn't completely allow him to abscond from talking about the topics he was here to talk about, however unwillingly.

House scoffed dramatically but surprised Nolan by not answering that with a resounding no. "How the hell should _I_ know?"

Nolan's eyes widened at this before following House's eyes when they dropped to meet Evie's bright baby blues where she was currently at, now using his pant leg to pull herself upright and to a stand after having crawled over to him, a wide, toothy grin on her face as she giggled at her daddy, a trail of drool accompanying an outpouring of "da da da da da." House rolled his eyes as he wiped her drool away with something from out of the diaper bag beside him, but the smirk gave him away, cancelling out any chance at being believable in his feigned annoyance over baby slobber. Lifting her up and settling her in his lap, he pulled out her bottle and popped it into her mouth when she reached for it, lying there contentedly as she drank afterwards while scrutinizing Nolan from where she lay half propped up in the curve of House's arm.

"Are you interested in seeing him again?" Nolan repeated, smirking slightly at the image of daddy House before him.

"You make it sound like we went out on a first date," House grunted in disgust.

Nolan chuckled, his belly jerking with a sudden burst of ironic, disbelieving, snorted laughter, and House glanced down shortly thereafter at Evie who had momentarily released the bottle with a _pop _to giggle in response to Nolan's chuckle, formula dripping down her chin.

"Sometimes I really _do _wonder how your brain works," Nolan muttered then, shaking his head. "And how you can automatically crank out comments that make me look like _I'm_ the one with a brain wired for debased thinking. Trust me when I say I in no way meant for that to come across as an exploratory excursion into your brain, looking for some sort of Oedipus complex."

"That's when it's the parent of the opposite sex," House countered dryly, as if to remind him.

Nolan rolled his eyes but gave up. "Are you thinking one day you might be interested in getting to know your biological father to some extent?" he queried, rewording it so as to avoid this conversation from going any farther downhill than it already had. "When Dr. Cuddy asked him why he was present when you were born, were you even remotely curious as to what his answer would be?"

House's eyes narrowed but not seeing the point in causing this conversation to take any longer than necessary, answered, "Didn't want to know."

Nolan studied him for a second, his fingers interlacing in the air before him, elbows propped up on the sides of his chair. "Why not?"

"What does it matter?" he demanded to know. "Why should I _care _to know his reason for being there?"

"Maybe it's that you already think you _know _his reason for being there," Nolan suggested.

"Or maybe I really _don't _care because he wasn't there afterwards," House argued pointedly.

Nolan pursed his lips, a small smile twinging them. Finally he nodded, determining this was not going to be a productive conversation to pursue. Switching directions he inquired, "What happened between you and Dr. Cuddy while your mom was in town?"

"You already know," House muttered, shifting in his chair.

"Alright," Nolan acquiesced with a head bob. "What happened _after _your mom left?"

House huffed, looking away. Reluctantly he divulged, "Cuddy wanted to talk about the past. I didn't. In the end, I suppose she won. We… _talked._ But… it wasn't like it was going to change anything."

Nolan spent the next half hour drawing information from House like one pulled porcupine quills from a previously unknown, stray dog's face after it had gotten a little too close to its nemesis; with a steady hand and an observant eye, watching for the first sign that this would quickly turn around to bite you in the rear. Surprisingly, while any information House passed on to Nolan was done so begrudgingly, his tone quickly became that of a defeatist, rather than a leery prizefighter in the ring. In the end, while House _had _given him more details of his past with Cuddy than Nolan had ever anticipated receiving, a lot of the more recent circumstances of their history remained a mystery. While Nolan didn't believe House had lied to him in anything he'd said, it still seemed quite clear that he was holding back a wealth of information, be it due to self-preservation or a firm belief that it was unnecessary to the whole, Nolan didn't know.

After a couple minutes of silence he asked for clarity on a subject that was still puzzling him, "How exactly did the conversation come to a close?"

House looked down at the sleeping baby in his arms and then carefully adjusted her so that he could put her in the carrier, buying himself some time while he buckled her in. Pursing his lips and hovering over her without looking at Nolan, he shrugged and mumbled, "I told her none of it mattered. The past couldn't be undone. We… will _never _be together like she currently says she wants to be. And… she might as well move on with her life."

"You can't forgive her?" Nolan asked, looking for further clarification.

"It's not that simple," House muttered, staring at the carpet fibers between his feet.

"Nothing ever is," Nolan responded in agreement.

House looked up at him warily but then acknowledged, "I… don't know if I can forgive her. And being that I just want to move on with life, I don't see the point in trying."

"You want to move on. Just not together," Nolan specified.

"Not… Not in the way you _or _Cuddy means that," he agreed.

"Meaning you wouldn't mind to continue this living arrangement but you don't foresee a personal relationship between you two, forming. A more _intimate _relationship," Nolan continued.

House's eyes shut briefly as he exhaled but then he nodded.

"Are you planning to see other women then?" Nolan inquired.

House quickly shook his head, negating that. "I'm not interested," he said a little too quickly.

"Is she?" Nolan asked, opting to hold off momentarily on pursuing his last reaction just yet.

House smirked suddenly and his head came up to look at Nolan with a raised eyebrow. "As far as I know, Cuddy doesn't roll that way," he quipped.

Nolan shook his head, realizing his error, and chuckled before rubbing at his temple. "Let's try this again. Do you think Dr. Cuddy is interested in seeing other men?"

"Not now," House offered flatly, his voice carefully void of emotion. "But eventually I'm sure she will."

"And you're okay with that?" Nolan pressed.

House's lips firmed, his mouth pinched at the sides, but he then broke eye contact and said, "Cuddy can do whatever she wants. Just not at my house."

Nolan let a moment pass without replying and then returned to his earlier question to query, "And you don't eventually see yourself dating?"

House grew uncomfortable, not at the answer to that but the reason that Nolan was circling towards getting at. Opting to preempt it, he tossed out, "Nope. Been there. Don't that. It doesn't hold anything for me."

"Aw, because of how much you were hurt by what happened between you and Dr. Cuddy," Nolan interrupted to thoughtfully declare.

House's eyes narrowed perceptibly but he didn't reply.

"Are you afraid that if you forgive her, she'll only hurt you again?" he questioned then.

"I'd be stupid _not_ to see that as a real possibility," House quickly bit out, even if that was only a portion of his reasoning in thinking he couldn't forgive her.

"But do you _want _to be with her?" Nolan charged onward, making House feel cornered even if not 100% intentionally.

"I've got to get the kid home," House evenly stated, getting to his feet and reaching for the diaper bag and carrier.

Nolan nodded in acceptance, not surprised, nor about to push him further. "I'll see you next week then," he simply replied.

"Yeah," House gruffly responded, not giving him a second to ask anything else as he limped awkwardly out of the office, ready to get out of there before another second could pass answering questions he just didn't want to go up against.

* * *

Cuddy looked up from where she was filling a mug with hot water for tea to tuck a lock of hair back behind her ear with her free hand, smiling House's way as he entered the kitchen with a sleeping Evie, having just pulled into the garage moments before.

"Hi," she softly greeted, her eyes drinking in the image of the two of them where they were before her.

"Hey," House replied, not really meeting her eyes in the aftermath of his "discussion" with Nolan, a discussion he was still trying to process and figure out what to do with before next week came round.

Setting the teapot aside Cuddy approached to help him discard the diaper bag on the floor near the hall and then followed him into Evie's room, smoothing her hair as he readied her for bed. "Rachel asked me to send daddy up to kiss her goodnight when he got home," Cuddy murmured quietly, not wanting to disturb Evie's slumber. "I know she's sleeping already but…"

House just nodded, turning Evie over to Cuddy to finish preparing for bed, slipping out of the room and welcoming the excuse to get away for a while longer. Cuddy didn't notice, too preoccupied in her contentment at getting a moment in with her other sleeping daughter after not seeing her all day, House having dropped Rachel off with Erika after work since Cuddy had been kept late at PPTH by a donor at the last second.

House tiredly climbed the stairs but then smirked to himself at the sight of Rachel asleep, covers askew from her kicking, one fist tucked under her chin and her hair fanned out across the pillow behind her. She'd hardly paused to say goodbye when he'd left her with Erika, too excited about having opportunity to play with Trevor, who didn't look _that _enthusiastic about entertaining her today but followed her willingly enough as she dashed upstairs to find his toys regardless.

Carefully lowering himself to the floor beside the toddler's bed, he shook his head, once more finding irony in being _this guy,_ before mumbling a soft, "Night, Rachel," lowering his head to do as she'd requested, brushing his lips just slightly against her skin so as to not awaken her by the scratch of stubble.

He resisted the urge to chuckle when her hand that wasn't fisted beneath her swung up to wrap around his neck, hugging him awkwardly as her breathing changed momentarily.

"Them clowns silly, daddy," Rachel mumbled in his ear just then, causing House's face to screw up in confusion until he heard her sigh, her arm flopping back on the bed a few seconds later, one leg kicking out, a murmured sentence that sounded a lot like, "You gets me some popcorn?" leaving her lips in the next breath, followed up by a loud smack of her lips.

Pulling back he stared at her, realizing she was dreaming, and then caught sight of the book she'd obviously carted to bed with her, a counting book with circus performers and animals on the front. Shaking his head and once more refraining from laughter, he reached over and removed it from where it stuck out from under the covers, setting it aside before straightening her blankets over her, tucking one little leg back onto the bed.

Getting to his feet with the book he limped over to the bookshelf and set it down on top, glancing once more at his sleeping kid before leaving the room when she said nothing further, shutting the door halfway, wryly thinking to himself that he should just be grateful she didn't seem _scared_ of clowns at the present. Walking back downstairs he headed into the living room, flopping down on the couch since Evie's door had already been shut. Reaching for the remote, he turned the television on and then glanced Cuddy's way as she entered the room, precariously balancing her laptop and hot tea, as she made her way to him, around the coffee table, and then set them down on its surface before sitting next to him.

House raised an eyebrow at her and she smiled warmly before reaching for the laptop, settling it in her lap, and then opening it. "So I was thinking," she began sweetly, clicking open a web browser she'd minimized on her screen. "With that big backyard and two little girls, maybe we should get a swing set. I spent half my lunch period today perusing websites. If you don't mind and have no objection to the one that caught my eye, I'd like to buy it for the girls. The company includes free delivery and set up. On top of that, if we ever move, not that _we will_, they'll even come out and move it for us to the next house."

"You want to buy a swing set?" he asked, almost as if he hadn't heard her, switching the television back off when he didn't find anything to immediately catch his interest, throwing the remote aside shortly thereafter. "You want to buy a swing set for _my _backyard?"

Cuddy bit her lip, her forehead knitting, but said, "Yeah. The girls will love it, House. They love going to the park. Unless you don't _want _a swing set. I just thought it would give the girls something to do right here at home. And as they get older it would be easier, being that we wouldn't have to constantly figure out which one of us could accompany them to the park, since I'm telling you right now, I am _NOT _letting them go alone. Not with all the pedophiles out there nowadays. Besides, if we have a swing set, Trevor would enjoy it too."

"And every _other_ squirt in the neighborhood," House countered argumentatively, now having forgotten all about Nolan and their conversation in this new turn of events.

Cuddy smacked him lightly in the arm and he scowled at her for it. "Seriously?" she questioned in slight annoyance. "You're worried about our backyard being flooded with neighborhood kids? I mean, I get that eventually the girls will be older and want to have friends over but I _doubt_ our yard is going to be the neighborhood hangout spot. _Especially_ with _you_ around."

House couldn't help the slight smirk that quirked the corner of his mouth upward at that final comment, but he ignored her to demand, "What's all this _'our'_ talk?"

Cuddy huffed out a breath and rolled her eyes but finally tersely muttered, "_Fine_. _Your _backyard. _Happy now?_"

The fact that his smirk only grew at that response from her quickly reinforced for her that he was enjoying annoying her. She pretended like she didn't notice, carefully hiding the smile tugging at her lips at the slight banter between them.

House stared at her computer screen and then dubiously asked, "Exactly what is that going to cost?"

"What do you _care?_" she demanded. "_I'm _paying for it."

"I just want to make sure you aren't being cheap," he reasoned, not so successfully hiding his enjoyment of giving her such a hard time.

Secretly Cuddy was thrilled but it didn't stop her from mumbling in irritation, "_Ugh_, you're so aggravating sometimes."

Moving the computer so that it rested in his lap, she reached across him, being careful to not apply pressure to his bad thigh, and used her finger to move the clicker about the screen, doing her best to ignore the close proximity she'd now ensured her hand would be in to the rest of him. "It has swings, a slide, a clubhouse they can play in without getting rained on…"

"You mean where _your friendly neighborhood pedophiles_ can lurk, waiting for the girls to show up?" House sharply countered. "Cuddy, it's completely enclosed. You can't see in there. How is that really…?"

"House," Cuddy interrupted with a dirty look. "Are you _seriously _suggesting pedophiles will specially select _our _swing set's attached clubhouse for _their _headquarters?!"

"Hey," House replied, his left hand up in the air in self-defense. "I'm just saying…"

"You're _trying _to ensure that our girls are protected," Cuddy finished, calling him out on it, her expression softening as she bit her lip, her face turned so that her eyes could stare into his.

House leaned back, not liking how she'd gone from being properly annoyed to doe-eyed. "No, I'm not," he argued. "I'm just playing devil's advocate."

"_You_ aretrying to make sure our girls are safe. Even when they are as near as our own backyard, only a window separating us from where they'll play," she corrected, a knowing smile stealing across her features as the fingers of her left hand pulled back from the laptop to rise and rest against his t-shirt clad bicep, stroking his arm ever so slightly with her fingertips.

House lifted his right hand, unintentionally causing his bicep muscle to flex under her fingers, and rubbed his face before focusing back on the screen and muttering, "Is that a sandbox underneath?"

Humored by his attempt to distract her, she brought her hand back down to the computer, leaning into him slightly, and moved the clicker around. "Yes. It is. But let me switch to another swing set I also looked at. There's one with a clubhouse where it's open, just having the basic structure and then the roof. See? There. You happy now? You can see in without any problem and there's no place for a pedophile to hide. It even has a little Crow's Nest with a ship wheel and binoculars. I don't want this part with the shimmy bars, nor the monkey bars and ladder. It will be a long time before I'll feel comfortable with the girls around those. They just look like hazards to me right now. I'd rather not have to worry about knocked out teeth or having to rush them to the hospital. We spend _enough _time there…"

House looked at her in amusement, incredulous at how much thought she was really putting into this.

Cuddy glanced at him to make sure he was paying attention but charged onward, "The ramp with the ropes to hold onto as you ascend inside is cute. Oh, and I think there is a picnic table that fits the same space the sandbox goes in so once they are older we can upgrade that if we want. And we can get baby swings for now _and _regular swings for the future, all at once. They shouldn't be that hard to switch over. Then, over here at this end is a knotted rope with the buoy bar, the one you sit on and swing from. But I think that's interchangeable with the little trapeze bar."

House chuckled then, interrupting Cuddy's thoughts and drawing her eyes to him.

"What's so funny?" she inquired suspiciously.

House chuckled again but rather than telling her _she was_, as he was tempted to, he decided to use the moment in which she was taking _to breathe,_ to tell her about checking on Rachel. "_Speaking _of trapezes, I went upstairs and entered the kid's room to check on her. She was all splayed out everywhere, one leg hanging off the bed, her blankets a mess. So I got down to… fix that," he hedged, as if she wouldn't be able to see through him and know he'd kissed Rachel goodnight as prompted to. "And the kid tosses her arm around my neck in that moment and says, 'Them clowns silly, daddy.' Then she releases her grasp on me and I back away, not having the _slightest_ idea what she's talking about, just to find the kid is completely out of it, talking in her sleep. She said something that sounded an awful lot like, 'You gets me some popcorn?', smacked her lips, and that was the end of it. Completely out and practically sawing logs."

Cuddy laughed in amusement but then reclined her head on the couch before revolving it to the side so that she could meet his gaze, smiling brightly as she acknowledged, "Sometimes she does that. And the _really_ fun part about it is that now she's old enough that if you're careful about not waking her, you can ask questions and there are times when she'll respond. I found that out when I went in to check on her the other night because she was giggling. I didn't realize she was asleep so I asked her what was funny, about to scold her for not going to sleep when she was supposed to, and it wasn't until she said something about Cookie Monster and a dancing frog that I realized she was out. Not surprisingly the book she refused to go to bed without tonight was one on the circus. I'm guessing that's where the inspiration for her dream tonight came from."

House nodded but then yawned, his weariness after a long day catching up to him. Pushing himself off the couch after setting her laptop down on the couch on the other side of him, he announced unapologetically, "I'm going to bed."

"You haven't told me if I have the go ahead to order this swing set," she reminded him before he could disappear.

House looked back at her and rolled his eyes, tucking his chin down slightly to keenly give her the onceover. "Cuddy, I _seriously _doubt I could _stop_ you at this point," he dryly replied.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" she asked in confusion, wondering if he really didn't have any interest in a swing set at all or didn't think now was the right time to bother with one.

Quirking an eyebrow, he sardonically intoned, "It means I'm worried I'll have to invest in an egg timer to limit the amount of time _you _spend playing on that thing so that Rachel and Evie get a chance to enjoy it."

"Hardy har har," she drolly retorted, glaring at him. "You're _so _funny, House."

He just smirked, maintaining a wry expression, and then turned away to head out of the room. "Night Cuddy," he drew out almost mockingly as he walked away.

"Night House," she echoed, the two words laced in annoyance, biting back a smile only as long as necessary and letting it bloom when she heard his bedroom door shut behind him, her eyes then softening in adoration now that he wasn't present to witness it. Turning even more to her left, she picked up the computer from where he'd set it upon standing and shut it down, figuring she might as well call it a night too. Tomorrow she'd put a call in and order that swing set. Heck, she'd even order House an egg timer, just to make him smirk. She supposed she owed him that much, considering how she was now smiling like a fool after a little dose of banter with him. Banter she didn't get enough of these days but would never again take for granted. Oh, how that intoxicating man could make her wildly delirious off a few minutes with him! Throwing herself back on the couch, Cuddy exhaled happily, her eyes fluttering closed as she visualized him and that quirky smile of his, once more before her.

* * *

"_**You're better than the best  
I'm lucky just to linger in your light  
Cooler than the flip-side of my pillow (that's right)  
Completely unaware  
Nothing can compare to where you send me  
Let's me know that it's okay (yea, it's okay)  
And the moments when my good times start to fade**_

**_You make me smile like a sun, fall outta bed_**  
**_Sing like a bird, dizzy in my head_**  
**_Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night_**  
**_You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe_**  
**_Shine like gold, buzz like a bee_**  
**_Just the thought of you can drive me wild_**  
**_Oh, you make me smile_**

**_Even when you're gone_**  
**_Somehow you come along_**

**_Just like a flower_**

**_Pokin' through the sidewalk crack  
And just like that  
You steal away the rain  
And just like that_**

**_You make me smile like a sun, fall outta bed_**  
**_Sing like a bird, dizzy in my head_**  
**_Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night_**  
**_You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe_**  
**_Shine like gold, buzz like a bee_**  
**_Just the thought of you can drive me wild_**  
**_Oh, you make me smile_**

**_Don't know how I lived without you_**  
**_'Cause every time that I get around you_**  
**_I see the best of me inside your eyes_**  
**_You make me smile_**

**_You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe  
Shine like gold, buzz like a bee  
Just the thought of you can drive me wild_**

**_You make me smile like a sun, fall outta bed_**  
**_Sing like a bird, dizzy in my head_**  
**_Spin like a record, crazy on a Sunday night_**  
**_You make me dance like a fool, forget how to breathe_**  
**_Shine like gold, buzz like a bee_**  
**_Just the thought of you can drive me wild_**  
**_Oh, you make me smile_**

**_(Oh, you make me smile)_**  
**_Oh you make me smile_**  
**_(Oh, you make me smile)_**  
**_Oh you make me smile"_**

* * *

Song: "Smile" (Uncle Kracker)


	93. Everybody In Love

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Okay, so this song might be a little too Backstreet Boyish for people but… there's just something about it that I really enjoy. :) Sorry if this chap seemed to take forever to be posted! I got distracted and ended up jumping ahead for a couple days, working on another upcoming chapter, and then as this one came together, it just seemed to go on and on and on. It's a really good one though. I hope you agree. And you gotta cut me SOME slack, because these chapters are insanely long and that takes time to do. :) )_

* * *

June 9th, 2011

Cuddy turned around from where she was standing at the counter, putting leftovers away from dinner, to look at Rachel in bewilderment, who was singing where she sat on the floor beside Monster, scratching his belly as she multitasked.

"Ah gums ah black, ah teef ah fallin' out. We gots spots on ah backs so giveitup 'n shout. We's gots curvy, need some Vitamin C…"

"_WHAT _are you teaching her?!" Cuddy asked with a groan, her eyes swiveling to look at House who was chuckling under his breath where he sat trying to cajole Evie into eating the rest of her meal. Reaching in his pocket, he dug out his iPod, switched off the lock, turned it on, and proceeded to scroll through for the video while Cuddy came up behind him, sighing dramatically. Glancing over his shoulder to stare at the screen as the video started, Cuddy huffed out a breath. "SpongeBob's Greatest Hits? Are you _kidding _me? _House…_ The _last _thing I want is Rachel going to daycare singing a song about scurvy that _Pink _sings on _SpongeBob._"

"It's never too early to start teaching her about medical conditions," House reminded her with a smirk, turning off the iPod to clean Evie off since she was having none of it, clearly unwilling to eat the vegetables Cuddy had prepared for her.

Cuddy sighed and reached for the spoon herself and as Evie was happily babbling away in distraction, somehow managed to successfully bury the spoon in her mouth before Evie could close up shop. Glancing to her side then, an eyebrow raised. "You're using _Pink_ as a _teaching resource?_" she drolly clarified, pulling the empty spoon free.

House gave a small shrug. "Why not?"

All of a sudden Evie sneezed and House sat there for a moment, completely disgusted. "Great," he huffed as Cuddy started to laugh, reaching for the towel to tenderly wipe mashed peas from his face. "Just great."

House reached up and yanked the towel away from her to clean himself up, causing Cuddy to bite her lip, trying to control her laughter.

"And what if she doesn't _want _to be a doctor when she grows up?" she asked then, reaching out to use the pad of her thumb to wipe away a smidgeon of peas from his scruff, trying to cover up for the chills that went down her spine at touching him. Honestly, she found the fact that he seemed so dead certain Rachel would grow up to be a doctor, quite endearing. But she wasn't about to tell _him _that.

House rolled his eyes. "That's not even a _realistic_ question," he dryly informed her, pushing his chair back to get up. "The kid's going to grow up surrounded by them. Plus, she'll be crazy about her old man and _want _to follow in my footsteps. Even if she tries to fight it and aims for rebellion, it'll be in her specialty choice, rather than choosing another line of work."

Cuddy shook her head but made no further comment, turning to rescue Evie from the confines of her high chair, having lost any desire to sneak-feed her more lest she too get showered in peas.

* * *

June 10th, 2011

House could not deny to himself anyway that he was extremely relieved to see Cameron enter the Diagnostics office Friday shortly after lunchtime following dropping Elliot off in the daycare, while he was finishing up some paperwork. While he'd stopped by a few times while she was on leave and had called her as much as he could so as to make a general nuisance of himself, mostly to complain about her replacements and then shoot her down when she responded each time by asking if that meant he was gaining a new appreciation for her, it seemed like she'd been gone way longer than should ever have been permissible, despite the fact that she'd come back a little early to ease into it with half days.

"'Bout time you showed up," House muttered under his breath in annoyance, shoving aside the pile of paperwork for insurance claims he would have liked to force upon her, despite knowing he was stuck doing it himself since she hadn't been around for the cases they related to.

"You do realize I'm back earlier than I had to be," she dryly replied, shaking her head in mock irritation.

"Of course you are," he brushed off before snidely commenting, "A handful of weeks at home with the kid was all you could handle. But now you're on my time so do us both a favor and get here when you're supposed to."

Cameron narrowed her eyes before glancing at her watch. "First of all, I am _not _back because I grew bored with being at home with Elliot. If anything, I got tired of your whining and complaining because you couldn't survive _without_ me to do all the dirty work for you. And second of all, I'm only five minutes late and _that's _because I stopped to grab _this,_" she finished as she threw a file on his desk and then sat down in the chair across from him.

"_Oh come on!_" House whined, looking thoroughly put out. "It's _Friday!_ I don't want a patient _NOW!_"

"Condition's stable. Unless something changes or _you_ make things worse, she'll wait over the course of the weekend. But this will give you something to think about and mull over. Plus… I know _you_ and _she's_ got an interesting patient history; one you will enjoy _immensely_. _And_," she drew out with resignation, "you'll have a hard time finding a stereotype that _doesn't _apply here, which will no doubt cause you to make snide remarks and me to respond with irritation at the disappearance of your human side. But don't worry House. You can _thank me later._"

House raised an eyebrow but made no move to pick the file up. "I can survive without you _just _fine," he corrected. Not giving her time to argue the point, he jutted his chin out in the direction of the patient's file. "What _really _makes you think I'm interested in _that?_" he scoffed.

Cameron rolled her eyes but then grabbed the file, opening it up to do her inherited job and find a way to entice him into taking it as he appeared to have a real interest in making this difficult her first day back with him. As much as she might have liked to miss the days when this had been Cuddy's responsibility, or at least, one she herself shared with Chase and Foreman jointly, she couldn't help thinking to herself she'd grown a lot through having to learn how to handle House herself and there was a certain pride in _ever _succeeding in her ventures, as there was no denying that most of the time he still _let_ her win, rather than her actually winning all on her own merits. "Because you will be once you hear all of the patient's complaints," she informed him, proceeding to read them off.

House yawned dramatically to indicate his lack of interest, at least, until she read off the last symptom the patient was experiencing. "Interesting, very interesting," he remarked in a high-pitched European accent, nodding contemplatively.

Cameron shook her head but smiled slightly, waiting for him to recite off the list of tests he now wanted her to carry out.

* * *

"Look at you!" Cameron fawned over Evie that evening after she and House had walked down to the daycare together, the patient currently stable and resting after a long afternoon of tests.

Evie giggled as Cameron tickled her chin and House adjusted her in his arms before glancing down at Elliot who was sound asleep in his carrier where Michelle had just placed him, buckling him in securely. "Geez, what are you feeding that kid? He's going to be as _round_ as a wombat if you keep it up. Though he'd have to be a random hairless variety," House jibed.

Cameron shot him a glare until she had a second to remind herself he was just trying to provoke her. She'd had opportunity to see House display fondness for Elliot already, even if he was always trying to mask it. And anyway, Elliot was pure perfection. He was _nowhere near_ being labeled as overweight, if that was possible for a baby his age to be. In her opinion he looked like he needed to fill out some more still, which House knew because she'd asked him about it in concern the last time he'd come over. He'd dismissed her concern entirely, making fun of her and… If she thought about it, this was probably just House's way of reassuring her she had nothing to worry about. And _that _made his comment, well, kind of _sweet_. In a bizarre way, of course.

Shaking her head at House, she turned her attention back to Evie, stroking the curve of _her _chubby little legs. "I _hope _Elliot is as much a chubby wub as you are when he reaches this stage," she cooed, earning her a big smile from the happy baby before her while House just rolled his eyes.

"I've got another kid to pick up," House grunted, interrupting the baby talk she'd started in on.

Cameron laughed at his impatience with the attention she was showering upon Evie after not seeing her in a while but took a step back before reaching down for the handle of the baby carrier. "I'd tag along but Elliot's going to be hungry soon and I'd rather not have a screaming baby in the backseat. I'll see you on Monday?"

House nodded and they said their goodbyes, heading in opposite directions. For a moment he was surprised at the fact that she hadn't mentioned his birthday. It wasn't like _he'd _said anything about it, but he'd kinda assumed she'd remember or have it marked on a calendar or something. Cameron was like that. Those sorts of things mattered to her. The fact that she hadn't… Well, it wasn't like he cared, right? He didn't _want_ anyone to remember it or make a fuss. Did he? No. _Uh-uh_. He was good, thank you very much. Cameron was obviously distracted with her own life, as she should be, and that served him well. Wilson was out of town. Though he probably _would _think of it _eventually_, it would be long after it was over and done with. Erika had never asked so she wouldn't have the first clue. And Cuddy, well, she'd known when his birthday was twenty-some years ago, after prying it out of him, but he _hardly _expected that she'd remember after all this time. In all the time he'd worked at PPTH, she'd nevereven given him a card. In a hospital swarming with that many employees, it was no wonder. She'd never had the time, nor kept an assistant long enough, to go as far as acknowledging birthdays. No, he'd escaped another year. Well, his mother would remember. And she'd probably call. But if he called her first and let her get it out of her system, there'd be no reason why anyone _other _than her would become aware of it. Anyway, that would make it fun, right? He prided himself on his ability to know things other people didn't. It would make lunch at Erika's all the better, knowing no one present knew what day it was. With a smug expel of air from his nose, House shoved the door open to the toddler room to pick Rachel up, dismissing his thoughts as she excitedly ran to him, immediately starting in with an account of her day.

* * *

June 11th, 2011

Cuddy woke up early and stretched before turning to sprawl out across her bed, happy to see the sunlight streaming in subtly through the curtained windows. She closed her eyes for a second but then they flew open as awareness hit her that it was House's birthday today.

Scrambling now, she threw her covers off and pushed herself from the bed, hurrying into the bathroom to make herself presentable. After a quick shower and the completion of her morning routine, she straightened her bedcovers and made her way to the door, checking in on Rachel as she passed her room before quietly going downstairs. Finding the house still and dark, she bit her lip as a smile curved her lips before slipping into Evie's room to turn down the volume on the baby monitor, though she didn't turn it off completely. The effort was unnecessary though, for just then Evie stirred where she lay now on her belly and her head popped up, eyes blinking away sleep, before she found Cuddy's face where she stood beside the crib, an extremely happy smile lighting on Evie's lips at the sight of her before she dropped her head down into the mattress between her fists in excitement, rubbing her face from side to side.

Cuddy reached for her, whispering a "Sorry mommy woke you up, baby," as she cuddled her into her chest before turning to take her over to the changing table. Hoping House would now be able to sleep in for awhile Cuddy dressed her for the day and then carried her into the kitchen with her, making her a bottle to get her settled before turning to the task of making breakfast for them all, placing Evie in her highchair with a handful of Cheerios to entertain her. The temptation to bring him breakfast in bed or something along those lines was strong, as was her desire to keep his birthday celebrations to the four of them. But then, she couldn't exactly _do_ that, nor did she really _want _to ruin the surprise party Erika had gone to the trouble of planning, therein also destroying the potentially budding friendship she'd found in the other woman. Therefore, Cuddy just decided to stick with making breakfast for all of them, something that would draw suspicion as it was, for it was something House always did, but… Cuddy was reasonably certain she could cover for that.

Saving the bacon and coffee for last, due to the strong aromas they'd send out, Cuddy contented herself with a mug of tea and went to work, grateful to find the kitchen well-stocked as always.

* * *

House grunted and then turned on his side, still half-asleep. Two seconds later he was sniffing the air, a frown crossing his expression, before he quickly fell back onto his back, turning his head to blearily eye the alarm clock before his eyes flicked to the baby monitor, which was on and yet silent. Looking back up at the alarm clock, his expression changed to one of confusion. 9 a.m.? How could it…? _Seriously?!_ He couldn't even remember the last time he'd been able to sleep that late. Puzzled, he sat upright. If the power had gone out and the time reflected was inaccurate, the numbers would be flashing. But they weren't. And that's when his belly growled at him to get up and go investigate.

A minute later House entered the kitchen, still clad in his pajama pants and t-shirt, his hair sticking up at odd angles as he walked in rubbing his neck with his left arm, continuing to look slightly disoriented.

"Mornin' daddy," Rachel sang out from where she was sitting at the breakfast nook table, happily scribbling on a picture of Winnie the Pooh. A slight smile curved his lips at the sight of her, hair tangled and askew, dressed in her Princess footie pajamas, leaning forward on her knees to better reach the table since she wasn't sitting in her booster seat.

"Da da da da," Evie chanted enthusiastically, banging the sippy cup of water they were now giving her on occasion against the tray of her highchair in greeting.

He shook his head at the two of them before turning his confused eyes to Cuddy where she stood at the island, already dressed for the day, placing scrambled eggs in a bowl so that it could be brought to the dining room table, which was all set for breakfast.

She laughed at the combination of his expression and appearance before greeting him with a simple "Good morning."

"What are you doing?" he inquired gruffly, raking his fingers through his hair now.

She quirked an eyebrow and he rolled his eyes, realizing the answer to his question was rather obvious. But not giving him a chance to rephrase, Cuddy answered, "I woke up early so I thought I'd fill your shoes for once and make breakfast for everyone. Evie woke up when I went in to check on her and I figured I'd grab her so that you could sleep in if you wanted to."

House eyed her with suspicion but when she went right back to what she was doing, he pursed his lips, still trying to figure out what was going on even though her answer appeared to be legitimate.

The phone rang then and being closer, Cuddy moved towards it, calling out, "It's your mom," after reading the Caller ID, before reaching for it.

House snatched it from her before she could put it to her ear and Cuddy gasped, wide-eyed and caught off-guard by his sudden behavior, but she said nothing as she stared at him.

"Hey mom," House said in a gravelly morning voice, turning away from Cuddy.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart," Blythe immediately greeted, her voice still tentative in talking to him but her words clearly heartfelt.

"Thanks," he mumbled, shooting a look back at Cuddy over his shoulder. Picking up on the _why _of his behavior, she turned away and picked up the bowl to carry it to the table before they could make eye contact, so as to disguise the understanding she knew he was too smart _not _to interpret correctly, should he catch sight of it.

Blythe was still talking and House reeled himself back in to concentrate on what she was saying. "…Lisa and the girls. Do you have any special plans for today?"

"Huh? Uh… no. Not really. We're just about to sit down for breakfast. And we're going next door for lunch. But other than that, no," he replied awkwardly, not wanting Cuddy to become suspicious from whatever she heard on his end of the conversation.

"Oh, well, I don't want to keep you all from eating," Blythe rushed to say before her voice softened even further and she acknowledged, "I just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday. I just… wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you and the day I brought you into the world and… how happy that day was for me; how grateful I am for every day I've had with you since and for being able to call myself your mom. I just… wanted to let you know that I'm so proud of you, Greg. I really am."

House shifted uncomfortably at her declarations and praise, his eyes dropping to the ground as he searched for something to say in response. "Thanks, mom," he finally managed, not having come up with anything better. "You're still coming next weekend, right?"

"Yes, dear. I should arrive sometime Saturday afternoon," she assured him.

House nodded, even though she couldn't see it, and then he said simply, "Thanks for calling mom."

"You're welcome. I'll let you get to your breakfast but give the… give the girls kisses for me and let Lisa know I said hello, alright?" she responded.

"I will," he agreed.

"I love you," Blythe added softly then.

It took him a second but finally House mumbled an awkward, "Me too," hanging up a few moments later.

"Breakfast is ready," Cuddy declared before he could turn around, occupied with buckling Rachel into her booster seat, Evie's highchair having already been brought over to the table in the time in which he was on the phone.

House looked Cuddy's way after placing the phone down on the counter and met her eyes when she looked up a second later. Wanting to beat her to any questions she might ask, he informed her, "Mom said hi."

She nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Anxious to talk to her?" she teased then, turning it about so that it looked like his phone snatching had come from his desire to talk to his mom after the situation he'd just kind of come out of with her.

House rolled his eyes, genuinely smug though to find Cuddy clueless as to what his real reason for taking the phone had been. Instead of answering, he just walked over to the table and sat down, ignoring her as he filled his plate with food.

"Daddy, me first!" Rachel declared semi-grumpily. "Me hungry too and mommy make me wait long time!"

House chuckled while Cuddy admonished Rachel, but he turned towards her to fill her plate as requested, getting a now-content "thank you, daddy," for his efforts.

Cuddy was still on her feet and she moved towards Evie, grabbing a bowl to spoon out some eggs on her tray before giving her a pancake which her greedy hands grabbed before Cuddy could cut it up. Sighing she turned and then her eyes fell on House beside her. Only semi-conscious of what she was doing, she reached out a hand and ran it over his hair, attempting to smooth out the wayward tufts.

House met her eyes in surprise and she blushed slightly before pulling her hand back, rushing to explain in a murmur, "Your hair was standing up in places."

Rather than reply, he just shot her a droll look, watching her in amusement as she quickly dropped her gaze and moved about the table, taking her seat, no longer willing to look at him as she picked up her fork and started in on her plate after dishing it up.

* * *

The morning passed quietly with House and Cuddy taking the girls to the park, Rachel somehow managing to convince House that Monster should come along as well. Cuddy had ordered the swing set and it was scheduled to be delivered and constructed Wednesday morning so she'd arranged to take a half day to be home for it, but neither one of them had said anything to Rachel, not wanting to ruin the surprise, especially since she would be at daycare while it was being assembled and wouldn't be able to play on it until Wednesday night. Cuddy ended up spending her time at the park chasing Rachel about, while House, often with Evie in his arms, attempted to teach Monster to stay, sit, and come when he was called. While getting him to stay proved impossible and when it came time to go Monster would sit on his own only a third of the time, getting him to come was relatively simple. Monster was only too happy to, his loyalty to his family growing each day, no matter whom or what was present at the park to distract him, and House figured he would be content with that much. Frankly, if it meant he wouldn't be chasing a dog around the neighborhood if he got loose, House was grateful.

After returning to the house, changing Evie's diaper, and a bathroom break for Rachel, not to mention another secret text shot off from Cuddy's cell phone to Erika's next door, the four of them headed over, House, to Cuddy's delight, none the wiser, although she had to admit, the lack of cars in the driveway next door _definitely _helped.

"Hey," Erika greeted, answering the door before they could even knock.

House looked at her strangely before teasingly asking, "Were you so desperate to see me that you were waiting expectantly beside the door, not even about to let me knock?"

Erika rolled her eyes but then irritably huffed, "Not _hardly_. And you think too highly of yourself. I was actually on my way to get the mail. Besides, you never knock anyway. You just barge in."

House pouted playfully but entered the house when she stepped back to allow them entry.

"Go ahead and go into the kitchen. The table's set and lunch is ready. You can get the girls situated while I get the mail," she finished.

House nodded his acceptance of the plan and headed with Rachel in the direction of the kitchen, Cuddy and Evie right behind him, while Erika pretended to head outside only to double back and down the hallway to reenter the kitchen from the other end seconds before House's head swung up at the sudden, unanticipated shout of a collective "Happy Birthday!"

House stood there, stunned, an expression on his face that drew laughs from those present conveying that they _had _succeeded in catching him unawares. His gaze swept the room before his mouth pursed, quirking upwards slightly when his eyes landed on Erika. "Blasphemy!" he snarked, not giving her time to correct his word choice nor to reveal how she'd found out before turning to look at Cuddy suspiciously.

"Happy birthday, House," she murmured, her chin tucking down slightly as she reached out and gave his arm an affectionate squeeze right above his elbow.

"You _knew?!" _he asked in disbelief, clearly amazed at this turn of events.

Cuddy bit her lip to keep from smiling more than she already was, but nodded. "It's what we were really talking about last weekend when you came out with Wilson; the 'girl talk' Erika mentioned," she admitted then.

"Daddy's birtday?" Rachel piped up, looking from her mommy to her daddy and back to her mommy again.

Cuddy nodded and reached out to stroke a hand through Rachel's hair despite cringing when the girl immediately threw herself on House's leg with a "Happy birtday, daddy!"

House was relieved when his thigh only twinged at her impact and he dismissed the concerned look Cuddy gave him before addressing Rachel. "Thanks kid," he mumbled, his eyes now lifting to meet Wilson's as the other man approached.

"Coming back Monday, huh?" he wryly stated, coming across once again as rather put out by the turn of events.

Wilson chuckled, thinking about the effort he'd put into keeping House waylaid by calling him last night, complaining about the session he'd just "left" and having to attend on a Friday night, intent upon his subterfuge. With an unapologetic shrug of his shoulders, he declared proudly, "And you say I can't pull the wool over your eyes."

House gave him a dirty look. "Well maybe it's a little easier now that I don't see you all the time," he complained, then glancing in Cameron and Chase's direction, watching for a second as Cameron passed the baby to Chase, helping unnecessarily to settle him into Chase's arms as a new mother often does before she turned and established eye contact with House.

Smiling, she teased, "And you thought I'd forgotten, didn't you?"

House's eyes narrowed as she made her way to him, backing up to escape the embrace she was about to force on him in the midst of all this company, rather unsuccessfully. "Happy birthday, House," she said sweetly, ignoring his attempt at escape as she threw her arms around him, being mindful first of Rachel who was no longer holding onto him but still close by, squeezing him affectionately while he sighed as if there was nothing for it but to endure her demonstrativeness.

Cuddy took a step back, trying to control her expression as she waited impatiently for Cameron to let go of House, her eyes narrowing regardless. She hadn't seen the other woman since… since the day she'd come to talk with House and he'd called Cameron in response, asking her to babysit, but that wasn't to say that something didn't course through her veins at seeing her establish physical contact with him, especially when House tolerated it, not forcing her to release him as what felt like minutes ticked by. While she'd been looking at House as they entered, watching his reaction carefully, she hadn't been oblivious to Cameron's presence; Cameron's eyes focused more on her than House after the birthday greeting. It also didn't help that while Cuddy was somewhat grateful for Cameron's willingness to be a part of Evie's life and certainly for how she'd undoubtedly gone to House when Cuddy needed someone to step in as her world continued to fall apart, coming to both her and Rachel's aid when she was sick with Rotavirus, the fact that she'd been around when Cuddy had chosen not to, supporting _House_, _loving Evie,_ most definitely being _there _whenever _either _needed her, _helping _with baby preparations and witnessing baby _milestones,_ even being extended the role of godmother to _her _child without her having any say in it, only furthered Cuddy's annoyance and bitterness over everything. And it _certainly _made her feel no better being fully aware that Cameron had once fancied herself _in love_ with House, going out on a date with him that _Cuddy herself _had _encouraged,_ all while trying to fool herself into believing that her feelings for House were purely professional. Now Cameron even _worked with him, directly, just the two of them, _Cuddy nowhere in the vicinity to oversee their relationship_. _Her only comfort came in that Cameron was now married to Chase, had a baby with Chase (which… _House_ was godfather to, she admitted testily inside), and was at least for the present, nowhere _near House_, being that she was on maternity leave for… what? Another week or so?

So intent was Cuddy on her thoughts that she didn't have time to look away before Cameron released House, pulling back, her eyes meeting Cuddy's and narrowing imperceptibly as well. For a second or two, they both just stared at one another, like dogs squaring off before a fight, neither doing much to hide their disregard for the other's presence. But then House said something quietly in a gruff voice to Cameron that Cuddy couldn't hear, undoubtedly though about what her _clingy_ behavior right now truly meant, and the other woman pulled back completely, her eyes going back to House and softening as she laughed, reaching up to playfully smack his scruffy cheek, forgetting all about Cuddy for the moment as she quietly retorted to his comment.

She gave House an indulgent smile shortly thereafter, shaking her head, and _Cuddy_ wanted nothing more in that moment but to wipe it from her face. She wanted to pass Evie to Erika, wherever the other woman had disappeared to, and without a word, grab a handful of Cameron's long blond hair, only _then_ shrieking wildly as she ripped a chunk of it free, leaving a nice bald spot not easily disguisable right on the side of her head to mar her beauty enough that for at least the next six months, House wouldn't be able to look at her while at work _without _finding her appearance no longer perfect or at least, without being prompted into thinking rather, of Cuddy. Instead she turned away from them, focusing her attention on Evie only to find Erika beside her, watching her curiously.

Cuddy bit her lip as she felt a rush of heat sweep up her neck at her thoughts and the awareness in the other woman's eyes as Erika raised an eyebrow but said nothing in response, instead turning to look at the group at large before announcing, "Why don't we take this party outside? Then everyone can find a seat so we can eat. I didn't slave over a hot stove all day for nothing!"

"It better be worth sticking around for," House snarked, darting a look Erika's way before he then followed her instructions, picking Rachel up and heading towards the back door while talking with Chase, surprised upon exiting to find she'd set up portable tables for the food along with lots of folding chairs and a table for the kids to eat at. He smiled wryly at remembering how Cuddy had volunteered to be the one to take Monster outside earlier, potentially keeping him from seeing any of this, and then how she'd quickly jumped on Rachel's bandwagon for a trip to the park. He'd been so intent on keeping his birthday under wraps that he'd failed to see any signs which could have led him to conclude Cuddy was _already_ aware of his secret.

While Wilson and Cameron assisted in bringing the food outside, Chase, Cuddy, and House carried kids out, Trevor following.

"Happy Birthday, House," Trevor said from beside him a minute later, a lop-sided smile on his face.

"Hey, I thought we were friends," House grumpily declared, frowning doubtfully at the boy.

"We are!" Trevor assured seriously, his head bobbing dramatically and expression changing to one of angst.

House narrowed his gaze and then huffed, "But friends don't let unsuspecting friends show up at their own birthday parties."

Catching on to the fact that House was just giving him a hard time, remembering how his mother had told him it had to be a surprise or House might not come, Trevor's smile reemerged before he tilted his head to the side and shrugged. "They do when their mom threatens to make them regret it if they spoil the surprise," he argued, grinning broadly now.

House harrumphed but reached out to ruffle the boy's hair anyway. "Some friend you are," he grumbled. "Too scared of punishment to tell a guy who doesn't celebrate his birthday that he's being punk'd."

Trevor shot a confused gaze up at him, not getting what "punk'd" meant, but then smiled once more. In a serious, yet conspiring whisper he replied, "Yeah but… you'd be scared of my mom _too_ if you were me."

House made a strange, strangled noise from his throat but then nodded, seeing Erika close by, before mock-agreeing, "Yeah. She _is _pretty scary. In fact, _I_ have nightmares about her being in a bad mood, biting my head off, chewing it up, and spitting it out."

Erika, having heard what he said and somehow knowing he was talking about her, intentionally bumped him against the table, glaring at him over her shoulder as she continued past. Trevor just laughed and then admitted, "You should be in _my _head and see _my_ nightmares about mom," before sitting in the chair next to Rachel.

House laughed and rifled the kid's hair again before walking away to get a plate, intending to fill it for Rachel.

"Happy birthday, House," Chase said then, having forgotten to repeat the words as they talked upon exiting the house, now addressing him as he too eyed the table overflowing with food, Elliot in his arms.

House waved off the well-wishes to reach out for Elliot, taking the baby and pretending he was doing Chase a favor before listing off what Rachel would like to eat. Upon receiving a pointed look from Chase he quipped, "Hey, help a cripple out. If I dish her up, I might end up losing my balance and going down, landing in that plateful of food."

"And instead it's preferable that you trip and land on my son?" Chase inquired, already shaking his head wryly.

"He'd make a good cushion," House suggested, aiming for seriousness.

"You know, you _could _just admit that you want to hold him," Chase replied knowingly, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Shut up," House dryly retorted, annoyed now, but he made no move to hand him back over as he turned him, lifting him into the air before him to study the baby who watched him intently.

Chase chuckled and shook his head but went about filling a plate for Rachel, carrying it over to her. Upon returning he asked, "And what does the birthday boy want to eat?"

House gave him a small smirk but then proceeded to tell him, glancing up a moment later to see Cuddy watching him from where she'd settled Evie, Wilson having run next door to retrieve her highchair moments before.

Cuddy broke eye contact to look about for Cameron, only then heading in House and Chase's direction to put together a small plate for Evie. She looked at House a second before allowing her eyes to drop to Elliot, considering the little baby safely cradled now in House's arms, once more serving to remind her of what a pro he'd become at this and stinging a bit at the thought that she'd not been present to see it come about.

Glancing in Chase's direction, she murmured, "He's a beautiful baby, Chase."

He looked up at her in surprise as they hardly ever spoke to one another about anything not involving work, but then nodded his acknowledgement of her words. "Thank you," he replied evenly before his expression relaxed as he turned his eyes to his son, a smile curving his lips. "He's a _good_ baby too. Aren't ya, fella?"

Elliot blinked at his daddy and then yawned dramatically, poking his little pink tongue out of his mouth, and Cuddy bit her lip in response, admitting to herself that he really was cute.

"You've got Evie covered?" House asked Cuddy then.

She glanced up at him again and nodded, feeling Chase's eyes on her as he contemplated the both of them. While she supposed she'd known they'd be under a lot of scrutiny today, even more than normal as Wilson was always watching them when he was nearby, she nevertheless felt herself shift uncomfortably in her spot before redirecting her eyes to what else Evie might enjoy.

As if reading her mind, although not entirely, House volunteered, "Evie prefers the red grapes over the green ones but you'll have to cut them into fourths for her."

That wasn't anything Cuddy _didn't_ know but it _was_ enough to prompt her into action, despite making her feel a little worse, as if he thought she didn't know what Evie did or didn't like yet. Frowning at her dark thoughts, she reminded herself that House hadn't meant it that way before she used a fork to grab a slice of turkey to be ripped into pieces as well.

House took a seat not too far from where Evie was and also fairly close to the kid's table, Chase following him to place the plate of food he'd been dishing up on another chair to House's left. The two exchanged a few sentences before Chase accepted House's offer and went back to dish himself up, leaving Elliot with him. Meanwhile Cuddy brought Evie's food over to her, cutting things up for her as she placed them on the tray, then watching as she took a few bites before deeming Evie was alright and she could go put her own plate together.

Back at the table, Cuddy kept the same plate she'd used to select food for Evie, now empty once more, and began to dish herself up some lunch while Chase moved on to where the drinks were nearby, filling a cup with ice before grabbing a pop. Erika, Cameron, and Wilson joined Cuddy only seconds later.

As if sensing her discomfort, Erika launched into an attempt at making conversation and commented, "For someone who doesn't like attention over his birthday, he doesn't seem all that opposed."

Wilson glanced in House's direction before looking back at Erika to reply quietly, "It's people fussing over him he doesn't enjoy. Right now we're leaving him to his own devices. And he's got Elliot, which in some ways, deflects attention off of himself to the baby in his arms. But go hover nearby making _him_ the center of attention and he'll be gone before you can blink."

Cameron's forehead wrinkled in consideration but she quickly disagreed. "He doesn't necessarily mind attention though. He just… likes to be in control of what _kind _of attention he gets. Think about it. It's not 'negative' attention that sends him running for the border. He's used to that. But 'positive' attention… not so much. I think being the center of attention only bothers him when he doesn't know what to make of it, when it's attention he's not used to getting, when it's not something he's knowingly brought on himself. And let's face it, House starts to squirm uncomfortably when you praise or compliment him for something when it's just the two of you. In public it's ten times worse. So maybe you're right Wilson and hovering would chase him away, but I don't think it's because he hates it but just because he… doesn't know how to receive it."

"What do you think, Lisa?" Erika asked, causing both Cameron and Wilson to glance at her in surprise.

Cuddy looked up at her as well, her eyes widening, but then she glanced in House's direction. "I… think he'd be really annoyed if he knew we were talking about him. But… I guess I agree with Cameron," she begrudgingly admitted.

While Cameron did a double-take, shocked to have Cuddy say she agreed with her about something related to House, Erika smiled, directing her gaze towards him while saying, "You're right. He would be annoyed. But I don't think he expects any less from us. He's too smart to think we won't talk about him today."

As if hearing the conversation, House looked up at them from where he was now conversing with Chase to find them all watching him, and he rolled his eyes before demanding, "Quit talking about me!"

Wilson grinned then and jibed, "We just can't help ourselves. You're turning into a big 'ol teddy bear."

House narrowed his eyes and quickly passed Elliot back to Chase, drawing amused looks from the rest of the adults present.

Cuddy, content with the choices she'd made, left them to head back towards House, sitting down in the chair to the other side of him, grateful that no one had claimed it yet.

"What were you really talking about?" House quietly asked her a few minutes later once everyone had found a seat and no one was paying attention, frowning slightly.

Cuddy shifted her eyes from Evie to look his way but then honestly acknowledged, "They were just trying to figure out how you feel about having them surprise you with a birthday party. They want you to enjoy yourself. They were trying to assess how much attention is too much attention and what will make you bolt."

House studied her for a minute, her response making sense, but it didn't stop him from uncertainly testing, "Would you lie if they were really saying something else?"

Cuddy's eyes widened at the question _and _his sudden paranoia, her eyebrows drawing together before she looked around at everyone present. Moistening her lips, she finally focused back on him and in retrospect, clearly taking him more seriously than he'd intended her to, asked, "House, what would I stand to gain from lying to you here? Look around you. I… I'm at a birthday party hosted by people who… with the exception of Erika maybe, can't stand me for what I… what I did to you. And Erika is probably the exception simply because she wasn't present to witness my… cruelty firsthand. If you really think about it, barring her and the kids, there isn't a single person here who wouldn't love to see me screw up, giving you just cause to… to expel me completely from you and Evie's lives. If I was lying to you, all it would take is one of them telling you about the conversation, or you asking one of them to, to show that you can't trust me at all. And where would that get me? So no. That really was what the conversation was about."

Slightly embarrassed and quickly realizing that she'd probably overreacted in her reply, Cuddy looked about for something to do and got to her feet to slip away.

But before she could get too far, House reached out, catching her wrist. "Cuddy, I…" he began uncomfortably.

She looked back in surprise and House's eyes followed hers down to her wrist, abruptly releasing her a moment later, not knowing what to say. Cuddy smiled slightly before softly reassuring him, "I was just going to get you another Coke. Your glass is empty."

And with that she turned and walked away, heading for the cooler of pop, stopping to chat with Erika when the other woman met her, the two of them conversing until Rachel interrupted, running over to beg her mommy for some Sprite like Trevor had. He watched as Cuddy acquiesced, taking out a Sprite and filling a cup part way before giving it to Rachel to sip from, stroking a hand over the little girl's head absently as she and Erika continued with their chitchat, Rachel momentarily content to stay nearby.

Mulling over her unexpected disclosure, his eyes fell to study the ground before him and then he turned to look at the others, only to find both Cameron and Wilson frowning as they eyed him from where they sat before they both looked away. He hadn't really given it much thought as of late because Wilson had been much better around Cuddy recently, treating her fine as far as House knew, but somehow what she said rang true and he couldn't help but consider it anew, recognizing that they probably wouldn't be all that opposed to Cuddy messing up if it meant she'd be gone, along with the risk of her hurting him again.

Cuddy returned just then after assisting Rachel with her Sprite back to where she was sitting, and House looked up at her as she passed him another cold Coke. He took it, popping it open before mumbling an awkward thanks.

Cuddy brushed it off. "It's your birthday. It's the least I could do," she dismissed.

"You made breakfast," he reminded her, despite not really knowing why he found it necessary to point out now.

Cuddy gave him a pointed look and said, "House, you make breakfast all the time for the four of us. My making breakfast one morning is _hardly_ noteworthy."

House smirked a little but countered, "Technically speaking, I think the fact that you _did _make breakfast and _only _once, is what _makes _it noteworthy."

"Very funny," she dryly muttered, rolling her eyes at him before reaching for her plate where she'd set it on the floor, cutting up some more grapes for Evie when she whined, opening and closing her fists as her eyes focused on the grapes on her mommy's plate.

Turning serious, House mumbled, "Cuddy, if you don't want to be here… If you're uncomfortable…" Deciding to start all over, he rephrased, "I don't want you to stay because you think you should. You don't have to stay… for me."

Cuddy redirected her eyes to settle them upon him now that Evie was contentedly feeding her face once more. Her expression softening, she murmured, "I _do_ want to be here. It's just… a little awkward." Glancing down at her lap for a second, she finally and quite honestly revealed, "It's _different _is all. My relationship with everyone is just _so different._ And… your life has _changed _in ways I haven't given much thought to. Not everyone here but _most_ were in your life before. Only, the relationships were different, excluding perhaps the one you have with Wilson. It's… weird to be confronted with that reality. So much has… changed."

Evie started to choke then and all eyes switched to her, both House and Cuddy pushing quickly out of their seats to go to her. But before they could even reach her, she'd solved her own problem, coughing the little chunk of grape up only to swallow it back down, this time without issue, smiling toothily at their looks of concern as Cuddy hovered over her, stroking her hair back, House bent down slightly at her side, watching to make sure it didn't happen again as she grabbed another grape from her tray and popped it in her mouth. Looking then at one another in mutual relief, neither noticed everyone else's eyes upon them, three out of four sets of adult eyes reflecting some doubt and concern in what they were witnessing.

A half hour later, following dessert being served and polished off, though some frosting definitely clung yet in Evie's hair, attention shifted back upon House as Cameron passed him an envelope, disclosing that it was from her and Chase. Before he could open it, she wryly rebuked, "You know, Emma Sloan called me the other day to say she hadn't heard from you yet. It's almost been a year now, House."

Before she could stop herself, Cuddy interrupted, "Emma Sloan? The photographer? The one who was a patient a few years back while pregnant?"

Cameron hesitated before nodding, and House, figuring that was about as much of an answer to the unspoken question Cuddy had yet to ask as Cameron would give her, rolled his eyes before reluctantly disclosing, "She agreed to do a session with Evie, taking her picture for me for free as a… thank you for saving her kid's life."

Cuddy looked at him in amazement and then asked, "You haven't taken her up on it yet? She… she did those pictures for the hospital – the ones of your team specifically. We still have them. They were really well done. Not set up and fake, so to say, but actually true to life… perfect in how they captured people for who they were. House, she'd be an amazing person to take candid shots of Evie for you."

House rolled his eyes again but was internally pleased by Cuddy's enthusiastic reply. He didn't know why and the last thing he wanted was to _figure out_ why, but it nevertheless gave him a push. "I'll call her," he dryly retorted to Cameron's earlier rebuke. "I've just… been busy."

"You still haven't used the gift certificate I got you either, have you?" Chase asked now, feeling it was his turn to get on House's case. "That one does expire."

"I've been _busy! Geesh, _will _no one _leave me alone?" House sarcastically shot back.

Wilson smiled. "I will," he declared happily. "You've actually _used_ my gift so I can't complain."

"Well, duh. When _won't _I make time to go to a Monster truck demolition derby?" he asserted pointedly, his priorities easily displayed for all to see.

"Yeah, but you used the baby books too," Wilson corrected smugly. "Maybe you didn't need the one on baby names but I am 98% certain you've read the one on fathering daughters and as for the other one on the toddler years, that you've at least flipped through it. Considering how dedicated you were to reading those books on the dude's guide to pregnancy or whatever, and the book on baby's first year…"

"_Wilson,_" House hissed in a lethal combo of utter mortification and frustration. "_Shut up!"_

Pretty much everyone laughed then, while House buried his face in his hand, clearly aggravated; everyone but Cuddy anyway, who watched him in absolute adoration, biting her lip, wanting nothing more than to softly brush his lips with her own.

Cameron quickly came to House's rescue, prompting him, "Well, you going to open it or not?"

House lifted his head and huffed out a breath but then tore a corner of it open before sticking a finger in to unseal it the rest of the way. Pulling out the gift certificate within, he read the information stated, nodding with pursed lips as he acknowledged it as being a halfway decent gift.

Cameron rolled her eyes but Chase just smiled, knowing he'd either use it to buy a new bowling ball for himself or invest in one for the girls. Cameron was appeased though when he did thank her a moment later.

"My turn," Wilson declared then, tossing a heavy package to House.

House weighed it in his hand and threatened, "If this is another book I'd rather not receive…"

"Just open it," Wilson replied dryly.

"Me help," Rachel shouted, scrambling to get to House's lap.

He moved the book momentarily before lifting her up and situating her, then grabbed the book again. "Have at it, kid," he mumbled.

Rachel did as told, tearing the paper back to reveal an extremely old book on infectious disease, clearly a rare volume. While the book left Rachel disappointed, having no pretty pictures within it, House whistled appreciatively, not wanting to know how much this had set his buddy back. Well, he _did _want to know. He just figured he'd rather research it on the web than ask and get scolded for doing so. "Thanks, Wilson," he acknowledged, thumping the book against his other palm.

"Our turn," Erika spoke up, nodding at Trevor to let him know he could hand over the gift they'd picked out for House.

House gave Trevor a suspicious glare as the boy approached, only causing his smile to grow. "You'll like it. I promise," he stated then.

House harrumphed but had barely accepted the present when Rachel snatched it out of his hands, ripping the wrapping paper off, giggling at the expression on her daddy's face. "What _these?_" she asked him in bewilderment, once he'd helped her open the box.

"They're puzzles," he replied, smirking slightly at the assortment of wooden brain teasers and metal puzzles within.

"Where all the pieces?" she inquired, glancing up at him. "Where the picture?"

"It's not that kind of puzzle," he explained, lifting one out. "It's called a puzzle because you have to try and separate the parts."

Rachel took one from him and yanked at it. "They not coming 'part, daddy," she informed him almost apologetically. "They's broken."

Even Wilson and Chase chuckled at that, while the women smiled their amusement. Picking one up that he was familiar with, House showed it to Rachel. "Try this one," he invited.

Rachel grabbed it from his hand but had no success in pulling it apart, despite how she strained with much grunting and groaning. "Nope," she reaffirmed before reaching up to pat his neck. "It's broken, daddy. Me sorry 'bout your toy."

But House just smirked, waiting until her eyes were back upon it to turn it one way, then another, separating the pieces within the span of thirty seconds.

Rachel clapped in awe of his trick before prompting him to do another for her. "You _so _smart, daddy! Do this one!"

"It's going to take me awhile to figure out some of these," House admitted. "Maybe we can try to do another one later when we're back at home."

"You've got one more gift to open," Cameron said then, extending a gift bag for Rachel to accept on his behalf, smiling at the little girl when she snatched it excitedly.

Once again, Rachel tore into the gift, tissue paper flying every which way, causing Cuddy to be slightly embarrassed by her oldest daughter's enthusiasm while Evie sat contentedly in her lap, clapping her hands and giggling every once in a while at the activity around her, otherwise playing with the bangle bracelet adorning Cuddy's wrist, turning and tugging at it. Pressing a kiss to the baby's head unconsciously as she waited to see what this gift would be, though she did have her guesses of course, Cuddy glanced up to find Cameron paying no attention at the moment to what Rachel was doing, instead staring at _her_. Not allowing herself to be intimidated in any way, she tossed her hair back over her shoulder, wrapping an arm around Evie a little tighter, maintaining eye contact with her chin slightly raised until Cameron looked away. Only then did she look over to find Rachel carefully cradling an elegant picture frame with a photo of House holding a just born Elliot within. She looked up to see the small smile playing upon House's lips and she couldn't help but look back at Cameron and Chase then, not to mention the baby in their arms. For good or bad, she realized, they were _all _a part of House's life. They weren't going anywhere and there was no way she would be. That meant they'd all just have to deal with it, eventually accepting one another. Pursing her lips, she momentarily got lost in her own world, instead of working through whether or not they could all co-exist there, contemplating how long the process of getting to that point would take. She really hoped it wouldn't be as long as she feared.

Startled from her thoughts, she looked up to see Cameron beside her. "Do you mind if I take Evie?" she asked, her arms outstretched and expression somewhat guarded, despite the fact that she'd basically just sought Cuddy's approval.

Hesitating just a moment, Cuddy nodded, determined to act like a grownup, allowing the younger woman to pick her daughter up.

Cameron scooped her up then, turning around in a circle with Evie in her arms, causing the baby to giggle before burying her face in Cameron's neck, popping back out a second later to wave excitedly, babbling all the while. Cameron laughed and then took the baby in Chase's direction, settling Evie on her lap before leaning into Chase, talking to Evie about baby Elliot as he stared right back at them. Not wanting to miss out, Rachel hopped off House's lap and headed over, resting her head almost shyly upon her hands, though they were propped up on Cameron's knees. Cameron smiled and tucked a curl behind Rachel's ear before including her in the conversation, Rachel's head bobbing along with whatever question Cameron was asking her.

Finally pulling her attention from them, Cuddy glanced at House to find him watching her, only looking away after she did, which really, was almost immediate. Pushing herself to her feet, she walked over to where he was sitting and helped Erika collect the wrapping paper, throwing it into a large garbage bag. Wilson plopped down into a chair he'd pulled up beside House's and Cuddy only listened for a few moments to his account of the conference he'd attended before following Erika inside to help her clean the bowls and other containers that wouldn't be thrown away now.

"I think the party turned out well," Erika said then, glancing her way to get her opinion as she rinsed out a bowl before placing it in the dishwasher.

Cuddy nodded her agreement but otherwise said nothing, moving around Erika with a bowl containing dirty serving spoons to place them in the dishwasher as well.

"Are you okay, Lisa?" Erika inquired after a minute of silence passed between them.

Cuddy looked up in surprise but then nodded quickly.

"Everyone's quite protective of House, I've noticed," she added casually.

"You mean when it comes to me," Cuddy replied seriously, not bothering to disguise it as a question.

"They're protective of him in general, but yes, perhaps especially when it comes to you," Erika responded easily, nodding. While Cuddy's tone had carried traces of confrontation to it, Erika herself was not one to quickly back down or avoid conversations that might prove uncomfortable for either party. Not without being asked to anyway.

Cuddy inhaled, glancing towards the backyard as if she'd be able to see them from where she stood before focusing back on Erika, forcing herself to not run away from wherever this conversation led _or_ come up with preconceived notions regarding Erika's purpose in highlighting that detail, but rather, sticking it out to see what happened. "They are," she agreed slowly before hesitatingly disclosing, "And… I suppose they should be. It… isn't without cause. I… I _am _aware of that."

Erika met Cuddy's eyes, contemplating her even after she looked away, but nodded in mutual acceptance of what she'd just voiced. Rather than pushing forward, she almost doubled back, catching Cuddy by surprise by asking, "Are we going to be friends?"

Cuddy's eyes widened at the question, her lips parting despite failing at a quick search for a proper response. "I… I _hope _so," she managed eventually. "I would _like that._"

"Then I should probably tell you that I've kissed House," Erika volunteered, watching for Cuddy's reaction to her words.

"On the lips?" she finally clarified in sudden confusion, her now empty hands fisting and fingernails digging painfully into her flesh when Erika nodded. She supposed she shouldn't have had to ask, for she'd seen Erika kiss him on the cheek plenty of times, but the clarification, though needless, did make her feel something she couldn't vocalize.

"_Today?_" she queried fearfully, not seeing how this could possibly be promising for a friendship between them.

Erika shook her head, her expression turning to one of bewilderment. "Of course not," she quickly negated. "I kissed him on Christmas Eve."

It was such a strange disclosure that Cuddy didn't know what to do _except _ask for more information as she watched Erika continue rinsing off items before placing them in the dishwasher. "Mistletoe?" she choked out.

Erika laughed a little at that thought but she shook her head and turned off the water before facing Cuddy, realizing she could save them both a little trouble if she just explained in more detail. "No. He walked me home and we were talking at my door about us and where our relationship was headed, if anywhere. I kissed him then."

"And he kissed back?" Cuddy interrupted, her stomach churning, blurting out her next question before Erika had time to respond. "Why are you telling me this?"

"He did, but it was just a simple kiss. Nothing more," Erika stated firmly. "And I guess… I guess I'm telling you this because it seems like now is the best time to admit this. If we do become friends and you find out later, I'd have to deal with your irritation then, not to mention your suspicion as to what kept me from telling you before, even if I don't owe it to you to tell you anything yet," she honestly declared. "I might as well say it right now and have it be out there. I…" Taking a deep breath, she gave Cuddy a pointed look. "I have nothing to hide. And if we're going to be friends, as much as I need to be able to trust you, you need to be able to trust me. It's just easier to throw out on the table what I think might be your biggest beef with me, right now. When you met me, we both know you didn't like me. In your eyes, I was the competition. So I am telling you that I'm not. I'm not the competition. Not because I am with Wilson now but because House and I… we're really good friends. We're like… family. But nothing more."

"You're really direct," Cuddy said after a long pause of staring at the other woman, lips pursed.

Erika laughed but nodded. "I am," she cheerfully acknowledged. "Maybe that's why House likes me."

"I think that's part of it," Cuddy admitted slowly.

Erika just smiled. Turning to make sure she had nothing more to add to the dishwasher, she next bent down, opening the cabinets to grab the detergent before starting up the dishwasher seconds later. Over her shoulder she said, "You're Evie's mother, you know. Nothing can change that. And you're also the great love of House's life. Despite everything between you right now. So yeah, people are watching you. And yes, they will probably come down hard on you when you make mistakes. But we live and we learn and if you really want to, you'll survive it all. And in the end… The end will be _good_," Erika concluded after a moment of considering it. "And you'll be better for it."

Cuddy dropped her gaze to stare at the floor, thinking about what she'd said.

After wiping the counter off with a towel, Erika turned around to face her, crossing her arms, the towel dangling over her right forearm. "Lisa, you have nothing to fear from Cameron," she added softly then.

"Of course I don't," Cuddy was quick to declare, moistening her lips afterward.

Erika gave her a pointed look and Cuddy rubbed a hand across her face before sighing. Her voice softer now, she murmured, "I do know that. I just… don't like feeling like I'm on the outside looking in. I… While my relationship with House fell apart, everyone else's strengthened. So yes, you're suggesting I'm jealous and yes, you're right. But… I do get what you're saying. I don't know that House would agree with your conclusion that I'm 'the love of his life' but…"

"You are," Erika said with a smile. "And he knows that. He just… has a lot to work through to… _embrace that_ again. I've watched you two. You've come a _long _way from where you were just two months ago. There's no denying that."

Cuddy smiled then, expelling air as she nodded, giving Erika a grateful smile.

Ready for a subject change, she asked, "So… what did you get House for his birthday?"

Relaxing, Cuddy laughed but shook her head. "Oh no, you're not getting anything out of me. I haven't given it to him yet and I don't have the first clue whether he'll love it or be totally ambivalent to it. You can ask him later and find out."

"I thought we were friends?" Erika quipped back, aiming to echo House's routine with Trevor earlier.

Cuddy laughed but then seriously said, "Thanks Erika. For the… the weird pep talk."

It was Erika's turn to laugh as she shook it off dismissively. "Just don't tell him I told you about the kiss. I don't want to have to explain why. Nor do I really want to make him uncomfortable."

"I won't," she agreed willingly enough. While she wanted to get House's perspective and figure out what the kiss had been about to him, she knew as far as they'd come, it wasn't far enough to justify asking.

"Do you need any help?" Wilson asked, popping his head in the room.

"Nope," Erika informed him, walking over to him to wrap her arms around his neck, planting a kiss on his cheek. "We've got it covered. But thanks for asking. Even if you waited until we'd be done before doing so," she teased.

Wilson had colored slightly at the kiss but his arms had wound around Erika's waist regardless. Now he pulled his head back to stare at her. "I… I wasn't waiting to…" he tried to backtrack.

Erika laughed at him, but then released him, patting his chest reassuringly before turning to Cuddy. "They're predicting rain all next week. Let's get back out there and enjoy the sunshine while it lasts," she declared.

Wilson looked at Cuddy and then jerked his head towards outside. "Evie's asking for you," he told her then, giving her a slight smile.

Smiling at his extended kindness, she bit her lip before nodding, following them outside to scoop her baby out of House's arms, burying her nose in Evie's neck as the baby chanted her name happily.

* * *

Cuddy entered the living room a couple hours later to find House sitting at the piano with Rachel on his lap. She smiled before looking over at Evie where she sat on the floor playing with toys, content to do her own thing. For a minute she just enjoyed it being back to the four of them. Then she pushed off the wall she'd been leaning against to head out to her car, grabbing a few gift boxes from her trunk. Reentering, she went through the kitchen and placed the gifts on the coffee table before stepping over to House, her hand falling on his shoulder to gain his attention.

He looked up at her expectantly, his fingers and Rachel's under his pausing on the keys, and she bit her lip before murmuring, "The girls and I got you something for your birthday too."

He looked surprised at this disclosure but then glanced at the coffee table behind her when she stepped back, mutely gesturing towards it. It didn't take Rachel long at all to scoot from off his lap, crawling on the floor and between his legs to go under the piano bench and to the presents. "Me open them. Me open them," she squealed excitedly.

Cuddy reached out to catch her arms before she could grab at one. "You can help daddy but it's his birthday so you have to wait for him," she sternly enforced.

Rachel pouted but then cheered up, nodding before turning to look at House, waving him over excitedly. "Come on, daddy! We's got presents!"

House smirked at her enthusiasm but then he directed his attention to Cuddy as he pushed himself off the piano bench, sobering. "You didn't have to do this," he somberly told her. "I… I didn't expect you to buy me anything."

Cuddy smiled and then corrected, "I didn't get you anything because you _expected _me to. _We_ got you presents because we _wanted _to."

House paused for a moment but reluctantly nodded, still uncertain. It was one thing for everyone else to get him a gift but quite another for Cuddy to do so. Somehow that… meant _something._ _To him, to her, to someone somewhere_. He just wasn't sure what. Watching as she turned to bend down and scoop Evie up off the floor, he finally made his way to the couch, smirking once more at the site of Rachel happily jumping up and down beside him, waiting until he sat down to crawl up onto the sofa, snuggling into his side.

'Give one, mommy," Rachel encouraged. "Give one."

Cuddy looked at the packages, trying to decide which one to have him open first. Her eyes closed as she wondered to herself if he was going to find this stupid and totally hate what she'd decided to do after a lot of careful thought. For a moment she wondered if she shouldn't have just gone the safe route and purchased those motorcycle gloves that she'd figured he'd be more than happy with. Taking a deep breath to steel her and hopefully dismiss her doubts, she reached for the one Rachel had picked out and lifted it in the air.

House looked at Cuddy, trying to read her expression as she was lost in thought, apparently oblivious to how Rachel was trying to grab at the package she was holding without success, it just out of her reach. Cuddy blinked and then focused on him and his eyebrows knitted as he waited.

She bit her lip, worrying it, before mumbling, "You might think this is really stupid. You might hate what we got you."

House's eyes narrowed but he shrugged. "Eh, it's a gift. Who cares? If I hate it, I hate it."

Cuddy did_ not_ look relieved at his straightforward response. Sighing, she said, "House, I…"

"Relax," he muttered, now entertained by her behavior as he shook his head, the corner of his mouth twitching. "I'll fake it for the girls if it's really that bad."

Cuddy pouted unconsciously but allowed the box to wind up in Rachel's hands, rubbing her face in angst afterward as Rachel tore open the paper.

"Oooh," Rachel exclaimed, squeezing her hands down on the sides of the box once the paper was gone. "This is what I get you, daddy! I helped. I picked it out on the 'puter."

House's expression revealed his confusion and Cuddy resignedly explained, "Oh boy, okay. It sucks. I mean, it's not the best gift ever," she corrected, not wanting Rachel necessarily saying "sucks" in the immediate future. "I… I was trying to think of something to get you that… you'd hopefully like but… wouldn't expect. And so I thought… Well, I know House that maybe your childhood wasn't all it… was cracked up to be. All it _should _have been. So I… I tried to find out what would have been popular back when you were a kid and what you might have _liked _back then, without asking your mom, who probably would have been a great resource and would have known _exactly _what you liked as a child, but… Anyway, I _know _you aren't a child anymore and this probably _isn't_ exactly the type of gift you'd like, but… Parents like to share what they used to play with as kids with their own children, right? I mean, we're supposed to talk about 'back in the day' eventually, right? I… Just tell me you hate it and get it over with. If I was going to get you a toy I should have gone with something you'd use like a super soaker or something. I'm such a screw-up. We'll forget about the other presents. You don't have to open them," she rushed to say, burying her face in one hand, feeling like a foolish failure as her explanation was undoubtedly only making things worse.

It took House a long moment to recover from the declaration that Cuddy's lips had just expelled but finally he reached for the box, taking it from Rachel to study the contents thoughtfully. "It… It doesn't suck Cuddy," he ultimately settled on mumbling. "It doesn't suck."

Cuddy looked up at him, hope beginning to flicker in her eyes, but regardless, she assured him, "You don't have to say that to make me feel better, House. I know…"

"There was a kid on base where my dad was stationed that had a Johnny West action figure. And the horse too, just like this," he continued, ignoring her declaration as he opened the box to loosen the wrappings on the never before touched figure within, his attention focused completely on what lay before him, not caring if it was an antique now and worth more if left in the box, untouched, but more interested in checking it out better. "We used to play cowboys and Indians. I haven't thought about that in a long time. He was always the good guy and I was always the bad. And I wouldn't have cared either except that he _only _had this Johnny West figurine, none of the others, so since he always had to be the one with Johnny, afraid if I touched him, I'd break him, or lose the accessories he came with, I got stuck with his assortment of half-melted plastic Indians. If I was lucky or his mom made him, he'd let me touch the horse. But usually it was those da… those Indians I had to play with and… then one day my dad showed up to get me and saw what we were playing with. Told me if I was going to play with toys, it would be G.I. Joes, something he felt was more suitable I guess. He went out and actually bought me some, which was bewildering for me to comprehend as a kid since he didn't do things like that, but…"

House broke off, chuckling wryly under his breath before glancing up at her to mutter, chagrined, "I can't believe I'm telling you all this. Now who sounds ridiculous?"

Cuddy locked eyes with him and then slowly shook her head. "You don't sound ridiculous, House," she murmured softly.

House stared at Cuddy for a moment longer but then Rachel, ready to see what was in the next box, shoved herself off the couch to grab another one, rather impatiently, distracting House as she tugged on his leg, waiting for him to pick her back up.

"This next one's from Evie," Cuddy volunteered.

Breaking eye contact with her, he lifted Rachel up before glancing at Evie where she sat in Cuddy's lap, reaching out across the distance to stroke the baby's cheek. Then his eyes fell to the gift as Rachel ripped the paper away.

"Your mom said you were crazy about airplanes," Cuddy added, watching as his eyes took in the lithographed tin friction Curtiss Jenny Trainer Biplane with its friction motor which made the propeller spin when rolled. House hadn't had one, hadn't even known a kid who did, but he vaguely remembered reading a book on planes and seeing one much similar to it in one of the pictures. It made him think of the model airplane Henry had given him that he'd told Nolan about. Not knowing what to say, he chose instead to stay silent, his eyes never leaving the box as he opened it to find it in mint condition, the propeller spinning perfectly following a quick assessment of the motor.

"That an airplane," Rachel informed House earnestly, nodding her head while reaching out to touch the wing. "It fly in the sky, up where the birds go. It faster than a bird. I see them airplanes, right daddy? They fly over our heads?"

House nodded absentmindedly as he studied the plane.

"One more," Cuddy stated, passing the final gift to Rachel, not wanting to force House to say anything he didn't want to and yet personally uncomfortable with his silence. Hesitating for but a moment, she finally whispered, "This one's from me."

House was frankly, a little overwhelmed by this point, emotions being stirred within him that he hadn't expected; memories reawakened. It wasn't that he didn't like the gifts, for he did. And it wasn't that thought hadn't been put into selecting and purchasing them, because the opposite was true. _Too much_ thought had been put into them, in House's opinion. But the last gift was when he reached his limit. The tape on this one was giving Rachel problems and so he reached up to help her open it, tearing a piece of the wrapping paper down the front of the package to start it before allowing Rachel to take over. But she hadn't even gotten the wrapping paper off before he knew what he was staring at. There before him was a kit to a WWI two-seat bomber from the 1960's, a British De Havilland 4. And if it wasn't enough just to be staring at a model airplane kit, the fact that he was about 95% certain this was the same that Henry had given him as a child, or at least one quite similar to that, though that one had already been assembled when placed in his hands, made _this particular gift _all the more meaningful for him, _and overwhelming._

Before Cuddy knew what was happening, House had lifted Rachel and the gift from his lap, placing them safely on the next cushion over, before he rapidly shoved himself upright and limped hastily from the room, leaving all three of them staring after him seconds before the door to his bedroom closed.

"Where daddy go?" Rachel asked. "He need go potty?"

Cuddy turned her head back to look at her daughter, wordlessly shaking her head before dropping her eyes to the box, biting her lip as she worried about just what she'd done wrong in ordering it on eBay for him, rushing its delivery. Not knowing what to do now, she sat there, her words from earlier coming back to concern her because generally speaking, she _did _agree with Cameron that it was positive emotion that made House flee. But now she also couldn't deny more than once having sent him running off due to negative emotions in recent months. Uncertain about whether to go after him or not, she pulled herself together, realizing that Rachel was still talking to her.

"Daddy will be back. He just… needs some alone time," she expressed, hoping that that was _all_ he needed.

Rachel nodded just as her little belly growled, causing a small smile to be born on Cuddy's lips. "Is someone hungry?" she inquired then.

Rachel nodded. "Mmm, we eat cake?" she suggested hopefully, eyes shining brightly.

Cuddy tried her best _not _to roll her eyes at that proposal and gave her daughter a calculated look before pointing out, "I think you've had enough cake for today."

"Pizza?" Rachel submitted next, only pouting a little bit.

Cuddy weighed the idea for a moment but ultimately nodded in agreement. Pizza sounded good. And… not that it would help but perhaps…, she decided to order from House's favorite local pizzeria, hoping the smell alone would entice him into rejoining them, maybe correct whatever error she'd made in the last gift or… soften it anyhow.

Pushing herself upright, she adjusted Evie in her arms before carefully putting aside the gifts, then heading with the girls into the kitchen to grab the phone and the number for the pizzeria, calling in and placing an order shortly thereafter.

* * *

The food had arrived ten minutes ago, Rachel and Evie were situated in the kitchen busily eating away, but House had yet to come out of his room. Cuddy wasn't sure what she should do but she really didn't want this to be how House's birthday drew to a close, him shut up in his room, her and the girls out here away from him. She'd gone to his room right after the delivery guy's departure, knocking softly on the door, her face pressed to the crack, but she'd gotten no response to her knock, or her revelation that they'd ordered pizza and breadsticks. Sighing, not very hungry herself at the moment, she finally gave up on him coming out on his own and determined she'd go in to him. Checking first to make sure the girls would be alright without her for a minute, Rachel knowing to yell for her if Evie was to choke again after the scare earlier, Cuddy slipped into the hallway and to House's door, knocking one more time.

Still not receiving an answer, she tried the knob, finding it unlocked. Cracking it open, she said, "House, I'm coming in." Not getting a reply, she took that as permission and shoved the door open to find him standing by the bedroom window, looking out while rubbing his bad thigh.

Cuddy bit her lip but made her way towards him, leaving the door open behind her. Reaching out, she tremulously brought a hand up and rested it on his shoulder.

"Did you find out about that from Nolan?" he queried in a hush upon the physical contact being established, not looking at her.

It wasn't said in an accusatory manner but it still threw her off. "What?" she finally asked, her expression drawing into that of absolute confusion.

"Did Nolan tell you about the model airplane?" he reworded a little louder this time.

"I… No. I… don't _talk _to Nolan, House. I haven't talked to him since… A long time," she finished, not wanting to broach the conference with him now, too lost and too disturbed already.

"Henry? My mother?" he pressed evenly, still not facing her.

"House, I… didn't talk to _anyone_. I'm not even sure what we're _talking_ about right now," Cuddy admitted honestly.

House nodded, accepting her answer, having thought it too unlikely to be so but also mystified by the coincidence.

"I… I'm sorry for whatever it was I did wrong," she managed to murmur, still uncertain as to what she'd done but nevertheless apologetic. "The last thing I wanted was to upset you."

It was a moment before he answered her but then he gruffly replied, "You didn't do anything wrong so there's nothing to be sorry for."

"Well, obviously I…" she argued, only to be interrupted as House turned to look at her, surprising her by the slight red-rimmed appearance of his eyes.

"You didn't," he reinforced.

Cuddy's hand had fallen from his back when he'd turned and now she folded her hands together awkwardly, trying not to wring them. Biting her lip one more, she searched his eyes, working to suppress a sigh. "I didn't do anything wrong?" she double-checked all the same.

"Not this time," he dryly responded, the corner of his mouth rising slightly in an attempt at humor.

Cuddy's own mouth quivered with a smile, the sigh she'd been repressing working its way out as relief washed over her.

And then without taking the time to consider the dangers involved in doing so, without second-guessing anything, without worrying about it being the biggest mistake he could make, House caved to the emotion churning still in his gut, leaning down and in towards her, startling Cuddy as he pressed a chaste kiss to her cheek, mumbling a muffled thank you in her ear before he limped out of the room without another word, Cuddy staring after him as her hand slowly came up to lightly rest against the spot his mouth had just been. Grabbing onto his nightstand, she moved towards the bed, sinking down on its edge, continuing to stare out the door in the direction he'd gone long afterwards.

* * *

June 12th, 2011

Cuddy exited Evie's room, having just changed her diaper, when she heard Rachel giggling almost sneakily and stopped for a moment, her expression changing to one of confusion and concern. Following the sound she walked into the living room only to come up short. Rachel had been watching The Hunchback of Notre Dame with House when she'd left them a little while ago, but now she stood beside the couch where House lay completely out of it, snoring lightly.

In her hand Rachel held a feather she'd found at the park a few days ago and she was intently staring at House from six inches away while persistently tickling his nose with the feather, practically sticking it up there, covering her mouth and giggling whenever his expression changed or his head moved in the slightest to escape the annoyance disturbing his sleep. Setting aside how cute this was, Cuddy cringed, thinking of the number of germs and who knew what else, that feather probably carried with it. Cuddy wondered briefly if House were aware of what Rachel was doing to him, if he'd regret countering Cuddy's argument against allowing her to hang on to it for the time being.

"Rachel," she admonished quietly, not wanting to wake up House.

The little girl turned around, eyes wide, and quickly obscured the feather behind her. Cuddy raised an eyebrow at that, thinking how quickly kids learned to hide their naughtiness, but then tilted her head a little to the side, adjusting Evie in her arms unconsciously. "You need to let daddy sleep," Cuddy said pointedly, a stern edge to her otherwise soft voice.

Rachel quickly bobbed her head in agreement.

"Are you tired of the movie? Do you want to come with mommy and find something else to do?" she asked then.

Rachel nodded, unconsciously dropping the feather to prance over to her mother.

Cuddy ran her fingers through her oldest daughter's hair, gazing down at her fondly as the little girl tipped her head back to meet her mommy's eyes. "We go outside?"

"Okay," Cuddy agreed. "But first mommy has to turn off your movie so it doesn't wake daddy up."

Rachel nodded but then ran out of the room, probably to wake Monster up and inform him they were all going outside. Meanwhile, Cuddy walked into the room further, heading to the TV to push the power button before stopping the DVD player as well. Turning around, her eyes fell on House and she was helpless to not walk over there, gently lowering herself to the edge of the couch beside him, hoping she wouldn't disturb him but knowing if she did, she had the excuse of informing him she was taking the girls outside to explain her proximity. She glanced at Evie in her arms, being careful to keep House out of her reach, and the baby watched him sleep, too busy sucking on her fingers to attempt a grab at him. Biting her lip Cuddy tentatively reached out a hand, lightly stroking the far side of House's brow, smiling adoringly when he almost turned into the caress, his forehead lightly leaning into her hand. She thought of yesterday and his response to the gifts she and the girls had given him. She thought of how he'd kissed _her _for what seemed the first time in forever, impulsive though it had been and never mentioned in the aftermath. She thought of how she'd finally left his room to find him sitting in the kitchen, talking to the girls and eating pizza as if nothing had ever happened and how he'd gotten down on the floor with Rachel after dinner while Evie had her bottle, playing with the Johnny West action figure, Rachel charging the horse back and forth across the living room floor, House chuckling at her weak attempts at a neigh and then volunteering himself to be the sound effects guy afterward. And she thought of how he'd carried Rachel upstairs later on, helped her with a bath, and then read her bedtime stories until her eyes drifted shut. It didn't take a genius to decipher the man had her heart and would have it forever on.

When he didn't wake up but continued snoring, Cuddy gently turned her hand over, allowing the back of her fingers to graze through his scruff ever so slowly before she closed her eyes in hesitancy, opening them a second later to draw her hand back to her, her index and middle finger resting against her lips for a few moments before she brought them down to his lips, softly making contact, delivering her kiss to him. Knowing she couldn't stay here forever, for Rachel would eventually come looking for her and potentially awake him, she carefully raised herself up off the couch, giving him one last glance before she slipped out of the room.

* * *

House woke up, surprised to find he'd fallen asleep on the couch. Lifting a hand up to his face, he rubbed at his eyes and yawned before realizing the house was absolutely still, the girls not making any noise at all despite it being the middle of the afternoon. Startled, he shoved himself upright and looked about the room a little bleary-eyed before pushing himself to his feet and limping off in search of Cuddy and the girls. Hearing a shriek of Rachel's laughter, he released the breath he hadn't known he was holding and headed to use the bathroom before tracking them down in the backyard.

Pulling open the door, he stepped out on the deck and then came to an abrupt stop as he stared at the sight before him.

Cuddy stood in the middle of the yard, her back to him, clad only in the teeniest red bikini he'd ever seen, hugging the curves he _could _see as if it had been painted on her. Rachel had on her own swimsuit, a blue and green striped one-piece, and was at Cuddy's side, while Evie kneeled in the grass beside a children's pool Cuddy had purchased the week before, leaning against it, one hand over the side and splashing at the water, clad in the brown and pink polka dot two-piece Cuddy had bought her, her chubby little legs and tummy in all their glory, proudly on display. Music came from the small iPod dock nearby and his eyes flicked back to Cuddy when she exclaimed, "Okay Rachel. Here's our part."

And then he watched as she put her hands up in the air, Rachel giggling and mimicking her as they danced from side to side, hands raising and lowering in the air as Cuddy sang along with the song playing, Rachel trying to sing along as well.

"Mommy, we's in love?" Rachel asked when the chorus drew to a close, House barely hearing her question.

"Oh, we are _definitely _in love," Cuddy answered to the affirmative, casting a fond glance back at the house, not expecting to see House standing there, watching them intently, now looking rather surprised and confused upon hearing her words.

Cuddy stumbled, embarrassed, her hands quickly leaving the air as she awkwardly about-faced, gaining her balance after a second, all of a sudden standing stock-still just staring at House, coloring slightly in mortification over the fool she'd probably been making of herself before him in being silly with Rachel.

He couldn't help it. He couldn't have stopped himself if he wanted to. Unconsciously his eyes swept over her body, noting the way her breasts swelled out of her bikini cups, her toned, creamy belly also on display. Coming to and realizing what he was doing, he shut his eyes before they could take in and burn to memory the image of her bikini bottoms and how they revealed the curve of her hips, her legs looking much longer than he'd remembered and honestly _knew _them to be.

Cuddy felt heat splash out across her body as his eyes swept over her, the reality of the fact she'd worn more revealing outfits for the past week without him even noticing, suddenly diminishing in importance next to how he appeared to be scrutinizing her. She glanced down at herself, subconsciously making sure her overall presentation was as flawless as possible, only to be disappointed when she looked up to find his eyes uncomfortably averted.

"Mommy, it's our part," Rachel called to her, echoing her earlier words.

But Cuddy's eyes were frozen upon House. Taking a deep breath, she pushed past her fears and took a step towards him before asking, "Dance with me?"

* * *

"_**Everybody in love, go put your hands up  
Everybody in love, go put your hands up  
Everybody in love, go put your hands up  
If you're in love, put your hands up**_

_**You know you need someone  
When the need's so strong  
When they're gone you don't know how to go on  
So the whole world is stuck in a moment  
Standing still until they come back**_

_**You accept that they've got things to do  
But sometimes in the end there's nothing left for you  
If hurt is missing your baby  
I've done too much of it lately**_

'_**Cause every minute's like an hour  
Every hour's like a day  
Every day lasts forever  
But what else am I gonna do?  
I'd wait forever and a day for you  
I wait up, wait up  
I can't eat, I can't sleep  
What else could it be?**_

_**Missing you so deep  
Long as I'm where you're going to  
I'd wait forever and a day for you  
I wait up, wait up for you**_

_**Oh, I wait up, I wait up for you**_

_**And even when we're mad, and say we're through  
Deep inside you feel the same way I do  
Might as well turn around and just end this  
'Cause it's harder tryin' to stay mad  
I could tell you that you can't stay here  
Knowing just as soon as you disappear  
That I'll be missing you baby  
Soon as you get up and you walk away**_

_**Every minute's like an hour  
Every hour's like a day  
Every day lasts forever  
But what else am I gonna do?  
I'd wait forever and a day for you  
I wait up, wait up  
I can't eat, I can't sleep  
What else could it be?**_

_**Missing you so deep  
Long as I'm where you're going to  
I'd wait forever and a day for you  
I wait up, wait up for you**_

_**Everybody in love  
Go put your hands up  
Everybody in love  
Go put your hands up  
Everybody in love  
Go put your hands up  
If you're in love  
Put your hands up  
Everybody in love  
Go put your hands up  
Everybody in love  
Go put your hands up  
Everybody in love  
Go put your hands up  
If you're in love  
Put your hands up**_

_**Every minute's like an hour  
Every hour's like a day  
Every day lasts forever  
But what else am I gonna do?  
I'd wait forever and a day for you  
I wait up, wait up  
I can't eat, I can't sleep  
What else could it be?**_

_**Missing you so deep  
Long as I'm where you're going to  
I'd wait forever and a day for you  
I wait up, wait up for you"**_

* * *

Song: "Everybody In Love" (JLS)


	94. No Other Way

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Okay, so this is a really short chapter by my standards, I know, but hopefully the fact that it's a GOOD chapter makes up for that. Enjoy and let me know what you think. :) Just a spoiler: We've got some hard ground to cover coming up so REALLY enjoy this one! It can't all be sunshine and roses. :) )_

* * *

House's eyes swiveled to meet hers, completely thrown by her question.

But then there was a splash and a gush of water near Cuddy's feet and in sudden panic, House missed a step in the process of limping hurriedly down the steps, one hand on his thigh as he regained his balance awkwardly, grimacing, pushing past the flash of pain while trying to get to them as quickly as possible.

Evie had toppled over the side of the pool, doing a face plant right into the water, her little body holding down the side of the baby pool enough to cause water to spill out before she slid all the way in. Cuddy whirled about immediately, startled, and then quickly reached for her, scooping her out of the pool.

House drew to a stop only feet from them, just to have Evie cough up a mouthful of water before smiling toothily, not at all panicked by what had just happened, despite how both of her parents' hearts were racing, one of them white-knuckled and clawing at his thigh.

"She's okay. She's okay," Cuddy breathed out, thoroughly relieved as she stroked sopping curls from Evie's forehead, sloping and tucking them to the side, using the back of her finger to catch a trickling trail of water as it ran down Evie's face, the baby blinking madly at the water droplets clinging to her long eyelashes.

House released his own breath of air, unaware that he'd stopped breathing somewhere along the way. He didn't move to take Evie from Cuddy but all the same he asked gruffly, "_Are you going to watch her or do I need to take her inside with me?_"

Cuddy looked up at him with distressed eyes, her expression quickly turning into one of hurt. "I…"

But House just frowned, suddenly breaking eye contact to look away before limping back in the direction of the house without another word, clearly in a lot of pain as she hadn't seen him be in a long time, with Cuddy staring after him.

Cuddy pressed her eyelids closed, not wanting to cry at the harsh way in which he'd reacted, his words hitting her like a stray bullet. It took several attempts of swallowing hard before the lump seemed to move at all. Suddenly this no longer felt like a fun way to pass the afternoon.

"Mommy, daddy mad?" Rachel asked from where she stood not too far away, her lip trembling.

Cuddy tried to concentrate on Rachel then, looking from her to Evie in her arms as she strove valiantly to get past her own hurt to give an explanation of what had just taken place to Rachel and have it come across as reassuring. Moving to the steps, she picked up a towel and then sat down on it before holding her hand out for Rachel, drawing her into an embrace and wrapping an arm around her, the other still anchored around Evie, using her fingers to pull back Rachel's hair and tuck it behind her ear while pressing a kiss of comfort to her forehead. Moistening her lips, she murmured, "Evie fell in the pool and daddy was really scared that something bad was going to happen to her. He wanted to get to her as quick as he could to make sure she was safe. But you remember how daddy has a bad leg?" Cuddy paused long enough for Rachel to nod before saying, "Well, daddy hurt his leg in trying to hurry over. I don't think he was mad. I think he was just… scared and in pain."

Rachel nodded though her head remained pressed against Cuddy's chest for a moment longer. "Daddy need to go to hopspidal?" she asked then.

Cuddy smiled at Rachel's sweetness and error of pronunciation but replied, "I think daddy just needs a few minutes alone."

"Okay," Rachel accepted, leaning her head back to see her mommy's eyes. "Me play now?"

"Yeah, baby. You can play now," Cuddy agreed readily.

Watching Rachel run off to splash about in the pool, jumping up and down before plopping down into it, Cuddy wished that she herself could draw comfort from her words the way Rachel had, it serving to reassure her and cancel out the hurt she felt in his brutal rebuke. Suddenly being a grownup didn't seem like much fun. And it certainly didn't feel easy.

* * *

House sat on his bed, his leg stretched out before him and an ice pack against his thigh. He was alternating between this and a heating pad, also having taken some Ibuprofen, but he had definitely strained it and at the moment it was still moderately antagonizing him. While his exercise regimen had helped to strengthen the area, it would always be weaker than his other leg, given the missing muscle, and skipping that step and then landing awkwardly hadn't done him any favors. For the hundredth time in the last half hour, House closed his eyes, cursing himself for his weakness, for the fear that had washed over him, even for how he'd lashed out at Cuddy. But mostly he cursed the weight upon him at the reality of his situation; the events of half an hour ago only serving to remind him of how helpless he was and how, if his leg had given out and Cuddy had been absent from that moment, he might very well have been _useless_ to his infant daughter. He supposed that was a slight exaggeration. Nothing would have kept him from crawling to her, if need be, but… all the same. He had real limitations and as hard as he'd tried to overcome them, there were ways in which he would always fall short. Dads were supposed to be superheroes. Some superhero he'd make! They could call him Crippleleg or Dr. _Howsitfeeltobespreadeagleonthefloor_. No. That was too long for a superhero name. Whatever happened to his cleverness?

Damn his leg. Damn his uselessness.

* * *

House looked up sometime later at the sound of little feet running across the floor only to see Rachel enter the room, a kid's pretend medical bag in her hand and her little lab coat on over her swimsuit with the fake badge Cuddy had made her the week before, attached to the lapel. Though she looked markedly unprofessional, not just because of the wet swimsuit which left a big wet patch stretching across the back of her lab coat but because the lab coat was still too big for her and hung down, exposing one shoulder, the sleeves gawky and covering the hand that held her medical bag; it was still an image that served to him anyway as a glimpse into the future. She had a miner's cap on too, which sort of threw her whole persona, making her look like a quack doctor. But the red sunglasses made her edgy he supposed; well, as edgy as a kid could be with the Little Mermaid on them.

Unable to _not _smile at the sight of her, he watched as she assertively stomped in with a serious expression and demanded, "_Nurse!_ Now what da matter be?"

House's eyebrow crinkled as he tried to figure out if he was supposed to reply to that but Rachel looked behind her so he figured that expectation of him did not exist; which was good because he had _no intention _of playing a nurse in this role play. There were two things he was good at: being a cranky doctor and being a cranky patient. A cranky nurse fell nowhere in between.

"_Nurse Cookie Monster!_" Rachel practically bellowed, turning around and stamping her foot, causing House to practically choke on his spit at the sudden display of temper. Yep, she was definitely getting this from daycare.

And then in trotted Cookie Monster, if you could call what he was doing a trot. It was more an awkward run and tumble, as Rachel had obviously attached her pretend stethoscope to his collar and he spent half the time running about and the other, trying to turn his head around enough to grab the toy and chew on it, which led to him tripping over his own feet a number of times along the way.

Meanwhile Cuddy listened in from the hall where she stood just outside the door, leaning against the wall, Evie now asleep in her arms still in her swimsuit, and she smiled a little when the sound of choked laughter came out to her, verifying for her that Rachel's request of a few minutes ago to go be daddy's doctor had paid off as a worthwhile venture.

Rachel yanked several times before she managed to get the stethoscope off the puppy, Cookie Monster yelping in protest only to receive a reassuring pat and a "good nurse" from Rachel, giving her hand a lick in return before she turned back to her daddy. Tromping over to the bed she waited impatiently for him to lift her up before setting her medical bag down and turning to eye him. This _was _behavior stemming from her time in daycare, right? She wasn't imitating… No. He didn't ever take her to see patients with him. It couldn't be.

"Hmm. Now what be de matter?" she asked again.

House had wiped his expression of all traces of humor before he met her eyes, trying to contain his smirk. "I… hurt my leg," he acknowledged hesitantly.

"This leg?" she asked, prodding his bad leg just below the knee.

House winced anyway before nodding. "Take it easy there, Dr. Kevorkian," he nevertheless quipped.

Rachel nodded and more tenderly patted his leg. "Let me see it. Me see your owie. Take off dese pants," she instructed, her chin coming up.

"Uh… how about you just check my heart with that stethoscope?" he suggested hopefully instead, cringing not just at the idea of removing his pants or of the effort alone probably putting him in agony right now, but at having her actually _see _his scar up close and personal. He might not have cared when it came to Erika and Trevor but… Rachel was another thing. He had… an image to present. He… wanted her to at least _think _her dad was tough and could be worthy of being considered her hero, at least for as long as it lasted.

Rachel considered this but then nodded, grabbing the stethoscope and clocking him in the chin unbeknownst to her as she swung it round.

House rubbed his chin but made no comment, not about to criticize her doctoring now, though he did mumble, "Dr. Death," under his breath.

He helped her get the stethoscope ready, placing it around her neck and in her ears despite how uncomfortable the plastic tips looked, before taking the end and sticking it right over where his heart was. "Can you hear it?" he inquired with the bare minimum measure of sarcasm he could get away with in his voice, knowing the thing didn't actually work.

Rachel's eyes squinted halfway shut behind her sunglasses and she frowned in concentration but then mumbled, "Um… yep. There it is. Sound like a drum, daddy."

House stared at her for a second but then nodded, his smirk growing.

"Now me use this thingy," she said, pulling off the stethoscope to throw it back in her bag, it taking her a few tries before it was within. Then she pulled out the fake blood pressure cuff, almost hauling the stethoscope back out with it, and showed it to him.

House knew there was no way that cuff was going to wrap around his arm so he settled for helping her open it and then placed his wrist in it, wearing it like a wristwatch, while she put the Velcro back together and squeezed the attached bulb. He'd get her a real one in a few years and teach her how to use it, he decided.

Opting to play along, too amused to do much else, House asked, "Well, Dr. Cuddy, what's my blood pressure at?"

"Um… four," she informed him somberly.

"Sounds promising," he replied drolly, wondering if that was his systolic or diastolic pressure but not bothering to correct her and tell her she was supposed to give him two numbers. "And my pulse?"

"Um… no pulse," Rachel said with a shrug, not having the first clue what a pulse was.

"No pulse," House slowly echoed. "Yeah, I guess that makes sense. These are dire circumstances indeed," he gravely concluded, hoping he didn't sound snide.

Rachel nodded in agreement.

"So, what's the verdict, Doctor? Is there any possible way in which I can survive this?" he queried, reaching out to push her glasses back up from where they'd fallen to the tip of her nose during the course of her "visit."

"Um…" Rachel mumbled, her expression serious as she deliberated. Shaking her head sadly, she then said, "Nope," adding a small shrug which he assumed was supposed to be consoling, somehow. Cheering up, she gave him a smile and added, "But you can have some cookies!"

"Oh, good," he accepted dryly, nodding as his mouth pursed. "Well that's depressing news," he finally threw out there, adding as an afterthought, "Though it looks like you take after Uncle Wilson in the breaking bad news gently department."

Brightening even more, Rachel smiled and nodded enthusiastically in acceptance of the compliment she didn't understand but nevertheless embraced as her daddy looked proud of her, before her eyes widened. Ripping the blood pressure cuff off and then tossing it aside, she grabbed her medical bag once more, turning to plop down on her butt beside him before opening it and practically sticking her whole head within as she searched for something. Looking back up at him a minute later, she popped open an Easter egg she'd located, emptied it, then held out her hand and sternly said, "Mommy say you take med'cin and feel _all_ better."

Without thinking, perhaps too used to having someone dole out pills to him in the past, House opened his hand beneath hers fully expecting she was simply pretending and shocked when she actually did drop something within. Cuddy would never in a million years let Rachel have pills to hold onto, even for a second. That thought had him bringing his hand back to stare at the little oblong shapes in his hands, rolling his eyes when he realized they were just white Tic Tacs.

"How's the patient?" Cuddy asked then, House's eyes flicking up to see her in a white terrycloth bathrobe with Evie conked out in her arms, leaning against the doorjamb, her eyes focused on Rachel's and avoiding his.

"Take those pills, daddy," Rachel bossed, still watching him.

House popped them in his mouth in reply before quipping wryly, "Someone called in the prestigious Dr. Rachel Cuddy. He's in rough shape but we think he's gonna live, now that he's taken his medicine."

Cuddy just nodded and then turned away, not about to let him off easy for what he'd said to her.

"Cuddy, wait," he called out, his voice changing to one of genuine repentance, even if it carried with it tones of discomfort.

She froze but didn't turn back, just waiting for whatever he wanted to say. House recognized he wasn't going to get that much more from her right now and he dropped his gaze before mumbling, "I'm… sorry. I shouldn't have… I was just…"

More interested in his first five words than an explanation, Cuddy turned back to face him and then slowly made her way into the room, walking around the bed to the other side before carefully climbing on. Turning to look at him after tenderly situating Evie in the space between them, she filled in for him wryly, "You were scared from what had happened with Evie and your leg was killing you."

House studied her a moment but then nodded, not liking to admit the first part but knowing he couldn't escape it, dropping his gaze and frowning before quietly taking his apology one step further, _sort of_, and adding, "You forgot the part where I'd be completely useless to Evie if something was to happen to her and my leg kept me from getting to her in time. But otherwise, I suppose your summary about covers it."

"House," Cuddy cynically stated, reaching out to lay a hand on his shoulder to counterbalance her tone. "You are _many _things but useless _is not_ and _never will be_ one of them. You would have gotten to her. Your leg would not have stopped you. You're being too hard on yourself here and…"

"I'm hungry," he interrupted, uncomfortable as always with too much fuss and bother. "How about ordering Chinese?"

Cuddy stared at him a moment, her slight amusement making her shake her head as she dropped her hand from his shoulder, brushing back the curls that had fallen in her face before sighing dramatically, her expression contorting into a "what can you do with him?" type look as he continued to avert his gaze.

"But I'm _hungry_ for _cookies!_" Rachel whined, bouncing beside the bed.

"Just one," House muttered wryly at the same time Cuddy sternly said, "After we eat dinner."

"Don't give in to her so easy," she then turned to rebuke House.

"_But mom_," he whined as Rachel had.

She gave him a droll look but then muttered, "_Just watch the baby,_" turning to push herself off the bed, hiding the smile now pulling at her lips.

Taking Rachel's hand she said, "Alright Doctor, I do believe it's time for you and mommy to get dressed."

Rachel nodded and hop-skipped alongside her while House watched them go, the corner of his mouth rising slightly when they were out of sight before he grabbed his cell phone and dialed the number to the local Chinese place.

* * *

June 13th, 2011

Cuddy rushed down the stairs at three in the morning, having woken up sobbing. She turned into the hallway on the main floor and flung open the door to House's bedroom, startling him from a sound sleep. He jerked upright in the bed, pushing himself upright before flinging aside the blankets to get to his feet, his eyes adjusting to the dark just as Cuddy came around the bed, House only getting as far as setting his feet on the floor before she launched herself into his arms, her hands dancing across as much of his skin as she could touch, as if to make sure that he was real.

"What's wrong?" he asked in concern, grasping her upper arms and moving her away from him. He could see the tears streaming down her cheeks in the moonlight and it only scared him worse. "_Evie? Rachel? What is it? Talk to me!_"

Cuddy shook her head regarding the children and he released his hold on her arms, only to have her fling them around his neck, her head burrowing into his naked chest, forehead against his throat as she pushed him backwards onto the bed and up against his pillow, House scooting over unconsciously until he was in the center of the bed to make room for her as she climbed up after him while being careful of his leg, tears quickly wetting his skin as she continued to sob. He didn't know what to do but after a moment he began to rock her in his arms as he would one of the girls, half-upright, one hand stroking soothing circles on her back. "Shh, Cuddy. It's alright. I'm here. I have you," he mumbled softly, his voice still gruff with sleep.

After a few minutes Cuddy drew in a shuddering breath and then relaxed her hold on him, slipping one arm down his chest and under his arm, around him in a hug. "Bad dream," she finally managed to whisper hoarsely.

"What about?" he murmured, his hand still stroking her back through her pajamas although he'd ceased rocking her. He brought his other arm up and around to tangle in her hair, his forearm heating her back, not even conscious of what he was doing.

Without purposely intending to Cuddy nuzzled her face against his chest as her right arm wrapped around his side in between him and the pillow, her right hand pressed up against his spine, while her left hand came down to run her fingers through the thin swirls of hair on his pectoral muscles in the dark before settling over his heart. Her actions made House aware for the first time of his half-dressed state but his discomfort was washed away when she spoke, distracting him by what she described.

"The house was on fire," she began in a whisper. "Evie was down for a nap and I grabbed her from her crib while you ran up to get Rachel, telling me to get out of the house immediately. You came out through the smoke with Rachel a moment later but passed her to me when the puppy started barking from inside. Rachel started screaming then. Smoke was pouring out everywhere. I didn't want you to go back in but you thought it looked worse than it was and that it would only take a second; that the fire appeared to be somewhat contained and you'd have no problem. I tried to comfort Rachel as I watched you go in but I couldn't see you once you entered the house. A moment later the puppy came running from the back of the house just as there was an explosion and the second floor of the house collapsed. I screamed and screamed for you. Oh, how I _screamed_. But you… you never came out. I lost you. I… I can't lose you, House. I just can't."

Cuddy started to cry in earnest again, her left hand dropping from his chest so that both arms could be around him. House drew her closer while being mindful of his leg between them, shushing her, shocked by her emotional reaction to the dream.

"I'm right here, Cuddy. It was just a dream. Everyone's safe," he whispered calmingly, wondering if this was because of earlier, Cuddy's late reaction to the traumatic moment, and helpless to not think himself of what could have happened to Evie once more.

She nodded against his chest and after another couple minutes, finally slowly eased her arms from around him, sniffing hard. Then she sat back slightly, looking up at him with her tear-streaked face. Biting her lip to keep herself from crying more, her breathing still erratic, she reached up, trailing a hand along his jaw-line before planting her arms to either side of him on the headboard, bringing her upper body upright before drawing closer, her head turning slightly at an angle as she brought her mouth in closer towards him, House too bewildered and stunned by what she next said to stop her from her intentions.

"I love you, House," she whispered softly. "I love you." Moving forward, her toes curling under her and into the mattress as she leaned in on her knees and calves, she pressed her lips to his, kissing him tenderly and rather wetly, again and again.

House sat there motionless, feeling the weight of her soft, wet lips against his, not sure of how he should respond to her. But Cuddy wasn't expecting a response.

She released her hold on the headboard as she backed away slightly, sitting with her legs tucked beneath her, placing a hand on his face while resting the palm of her other hand against his heart. "You can say no, if you want," she shuddered out, the aftereffects of crying so hard still present. "But… could I sleep here with you? Just for tonight, House? I don't want to be alone and I… _just_ want to be close to you; I _need_ to be after that dream. I just… need some time to accept that it wasn't real and you are okay. That we're _all _okay and perfectly safe. That nothing bad happened to… to take you away from me once and for all."

House hesitated but he didn't have it in him to push her away now. Finally he nodded and waited as she turned, House sliding over even further to accommodate her more. Once she had eased down on the bed beside him in the warm spot where he'd been lying prior to her arrival, House drew the covers up and over the both of them. He lay there silently, an arm up across the top of the pillow behind her as he wasn't quite sure how to sleep comfortably with someone to his right. Cuddy moved in slowly before resting her head on his chest, one arm wrapping around him, tracing light patterns on his side as she continued to sniff. House held his breath for a moment, contemplating warning her against what she was doing, but then let it go knowing it was probably her way of drawing comfort from him and brought his arm down around her, his fingers stroking the exposed skin on her upper back absently until she drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

House lay there for quite some time, sleep refusing to return to him until after the early light of morning crept into the room. She had said she loved him. And… he actually _believed_ her. But what did that mean for them? He feared it would only complicate matters more.

* * *

"_**When your mind is a mess  
So is mine  
I can't sleep  
'Cause it hurts when I think  
My thoughts aren't at peace  
With the plans that we make  
Chances we take  
They're not yours and not mine  
There's waves that can break  
All the words that we say  
And the words that we mean  
Words can fall short  
Can't see the unseen  
'Cause the world is awake  
For somebody's sake**_

_**Now, please close your eyes**_

_**Woman, please get some sleep**_

**_And know that if I knew_**  
**_All of the answers I would_**  
**_Not hold them from, you'd_**  
**_Know all the things that I'd know_**  
**_We told each other, there is no other way_**

**_Well too much silence can be misleading_**  
**_You're drifting, I can hear it in the way that you're breathing_**  
**_We don't really need to find reason_**  
**_'Cause out the same door that it came, well its leaving, its leaving_**  
**_Leaving like a day that's done and part of a season_**  
**_Resolve is just a concept that's as dead as the leaves_**  
**_But at least we can sleep, it's all that we need_**  
**_When we wake we would find_**  
**_Our minds will be free to go to sleep_**

**_And know that if I knew_**  
**_All of the answers I would_**  
**_Not hold them from, you'd_**  
**_Know all the things that I'd know_**  
**_We told each other, there is no other way"_**

* * *

Song: "No Other Way" (Jack Johnson)


	95. Beauty in Walking Away

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Uh… so… AT LEAST we aren't in 2011 yet, like where we are in the story? __Sorry guys! There's no apology I can make that will make up for the super long hold this story was placed on. I never INTENDED to take such a long break. And even though I fully intended to finish it, I'd kind of lost hope that "the drive" would return after so many months away from it. I think in part, you need to know that this story was MY LIFE for over nine months; I ate, slept, and breathed it since I wasn't working; and so when I had no choice but to set it aside, I was already so EXHAUSTED from how it had consumed me that coming back just… didn't have that same pull. But a couple weeks ago, the tug came, bringing me back to a place of reading a portion of it all over again with the hope that I might FIND THE DESIRE to finish it! And I really can't believe I still get messages from people bugging me to pick it back up, but I do! It amazes me! Thanks for your faithfulness! Sorry if you have to go back and read chapters over again too to pick this story back up with me. Whew! I really hope you enjoy the rest of the adventure, as we continue onwards once again, though I'm not making any promises as to how quickly each chapter will be posted! It's takes much longer than you think! Oh, and as for this chapter, we're kind of all over the board. Which translates into TONS of drama. Go figure. (You do get that this is an angst/drama, right?))_

* * *

June 14th, 2011

Cuddy stood in the kitchen having just come home from work and was busy peeling potatoes at the sink. House and the girls hadn't yet arrived home but her thoughts were full of them as she considered how right it felt to have slipped away a little earlier than normal so she could come home and cook for her… _family_. Everything was just… going _so _well. Things had been almost perfect the last few days. Okay, Sunday had held its own rough patch with House lashing out at her in Evie falling over and into the side of the pool, but that _wrinkle_ had been smoothed out fairly quickly and he _had _apologized, something she'd never have expected him to be capable of doing not too long ago. And _she'd_ somehow managed to do perfectly fine in selecting birthday presents from him, something she hadn't thought _herself _to be capable of. She'd even caught him scanning the contents of his now opened model airplane package, going over the assembly, after the girls were asleep. Promise was written all over the progress they'd made in their relationship of late. It was _meant_ to be savored.

And then there'd been yesterday. Sometimes it seemed like such a rare gift to witness House proving just how capable he was of being… _tender_. It had unnerved her when she'd first seen him with Rachel, right after their return from Georgia, suddenly playing the role of Rachel's daddy which she'd never expected him to want. Now it just felt… like a normal part of the equation making up who he was, for _both _of the girls. And when he allowed himself to be that way with _her_, it… was like everything was right with her world, a ridiculously silly and sentimental thing to think, but… _it did_. Her hands paused in their work and she set aside her vegetable peeler before bringing her fingers up to her mouth, tracing the tip of her index finger over her lips, recalling the sensation of his lips under hers. Knowing the smile on her face was a rather foolish one she closed her eyes and shook off her contemplation before reaching again for the peeler. He'd been gone from the bed when she'd awoken, already dressed for the day and in the midst of feeding Evie a bottle, a heating pad once more on his thigh, but he'd acknowledged her presence with a greeting and left her a cup of steaming coffee on the counter. What more could she have asked for? In that moment, it had been enough.

Now she placed the potatoes on the cutting board, slicing them into half inch slices before putting them in a pot on the stove to soften somewhat before she could put them in the oven with seasoning and butter. Turning, she went to work on the green beans, looking up with a smile when she heard the garage door going up, setting aside what she was busy with to rinse her hands before toweling them off.

"_Mommy, mommy,_" Rachel called exuberantly, the sound of her rain boots skidding across the floor before she came into the kitchen in her pink raincoat, echoing against the walls of the back hallway.

Cuddy laughed softly and bent down to catch her as Rachel threw herself in her arms. "Did you have a good day today?" she asked, pressing a kiss to her forehead before tucking a stray lock behind her ear and unbuttoning the raincoat in turn.

Rachel nodded and then backed away to show her mommy the now slightly crumpled picture she'd colored for her. "This you, this daddy, this me, this Ebie, this Cookie Monster," she pointed out, indicating a variety of scribbles that really resembled nothing more than swirls of color, each in turn.

"That's_ beautiful_, sweetie. We'll have to ask daddy to put that on the fridge," she complimented appropriately.

Cuddy looked up as House entered the room with Evie, the baby breaking out into a wide grin upon the sight of her, clapping her hands before babbling mama, her hands then outstretching towards her, fingers opening and closing in a pincer-like way.

Cuddy didn't think she'd ever get over how good it felt to have Evie want her. For a second she remembered the party on Saturday and how at one point she'd gone back inside Erika's house, Evie being with Cameron, but the minute she'd stepped outside and into Evie's range of sight, the baby had squirmed in Cameron's arms, her mind set on returning to her mommy. It had gone a long ways towards reassuring Cuddy that Cameron's relationship with her daughter was not the same and never would be, as hers was now with Evie, as her mommy. And while Cameron had scrutinized her with Evie for the next five or ten minutes, she'd never said anything about it, her own arms quickly being reoccupied by a hungry Elliot who wanted to breastfeed. It _had _stung a little, to watch Cameron from the corner of her eye as she covered herself and the baby, knowing she herself hadn't had that bonding experience with Evie or nurtured her in that way and never would. But at the same time she'd been able to recognize she and Evie had bonded on their own regardless and that was what really mattered.

House passed Evie to her willingly enough, looking tired, his hair a little damp still from the trek across the parking lot to his car, and Cuddy kissed the baby's chubby cheeks before turning her attention to him, asking him about his current patient. He looked at her funny but then actually answered her, telling her about the case before leaving the room to go change. It threw her a little to realize Cameron was back at work already, but feeling more comfortable now with where they were at and where she was with Evie, Cuddy dismissed that piece of news, not allowing it to get her down. Erika was right, after all. She had nothing to fear from Cameron. As far as she knew, if Cameron had opinions, she was keeping them to herself. That was good enough for her.

* * *

"Want me to take her?" House asked, returning to the kitchen in jeans and a t-shirt.

"Sure," Cuddy agreed, passing Evie to him but not without giving the baby an additional kiss.

"Monster," he called out then, jerking his head in the direction of the door.

Cookie Monster immediately got up from where he'd been lying on a dog pillow and raced for the door with the chew toy he'd been chomping at still in his mouth.

House opened the door and let the dog out but did not follow, just watching him as he went outside, the thunderstorm that had been forecasted having arrived, though thankfully at the moment it was just dripping out. At a boom of thunder, Monster yelped and scrambled up the porch steps once more, running back inside before burying himself under his dog pillow, dirty paw prints trailing him.

Evie had jumped in House's arms, her eyes widening at the sound of thunder and her head turning in the direction it had come from. House chuckled at the dog's reaction even while annoyance trickled through him at the clean-up he now had to do, before smirking at Evie's interest in what was going on outside, just as the rain changed dramatically with another boom of thunder and a flash of lightning, descending now in sheets.

Rachel came shrieking back into the room, having left to retrieve Baby G, and she threw herself around Cuddy's legs.

"_Mommy, you hear dat?_" she asked in a hush, peeking up at her. "There be a boom an' a light an' _lots an' lots _of pitter pats."

Cuddy smiled down at her and nodded before saying, "It sounds like we're going to have a good thunderstorm tonight, doesn't it? Look at Cookie Monster. He doesn't know there's nothing to be afraid of."

Rachel released her mommy's leg, looking over at Cookie Monster before giggling, Cuddy's words doing the trick to reassure her. Hearing her baby sister oohing and the sound of her daddy murmuring to the baby, she turned in the other direction. Catching sight of them, she ran over to look out the window with them, one arm absently wrapping around House's leg.

They stood at the window for a few minutes, watching it come down, lightning flashing outside, before House turned and made his way back towards Cuddy to eye the food over her shoulder, Rachel following him.

"Do you have flashlights?" she asked, looking up after placing dinner in the pre-heated oven. "We might want to grab them in case the power goes out."

House nodded in agreement and headed for the laundry room to find a couple in the cabinet there. Returning to the kitchen, he set them on the counter out of Rachel's reach before Cuddy once again claimed Evie, House only too happy to pass her on as he'd just realized she stunk and was in serious need of a diaper change.

He smirked at the expression stealing over Cuddy's face in coming to the same realization, his smirk growing when Cuddy looked at him and noted his pleasure in diaper duty falling into her lap. Rolling her eyes, she slipped out of the room, taking the baby to be changed.

When she came out a couple minutes later it was to find the front door cracked open, Rachel and House on the front porch, standing there listening to the rain come down from under the safety of the covered porch, Rachel jumping at each loud clap of thunder, pointing excitedly towards the lightning a number of miles away that lit up the neighborhood, the sky having quickly darkened otherwise. No longer frightened, at present anyway, Rachel was taking in the storm with enthusiasm, her expression reflecting her awe. Cuddy turned back to grab a blanket for Evie just in case, thankful Rachel was dressed warmly already, and then headed out to join them.

House glanced at her as she came out to stand alongside him, his hand reaching out to caress Evie's cheek, the baby's hand coming up to grasp onto his fingers immediately.

"I think we should get a swing for out here," Cuddy said then, studying the space where she'd put it if it were up to her.

The corner of House's mouth went up at the suggestion, along with an eyebrow. "Do I really _look _like the kind of guy who would have a porch swing?"

Cuddy met his gaze and laughed before nodding enthusiastically, knowing it would cause him to roll his eyes. Her smile grew when he did as expected, his eye roll accompanied by a snort of incredulity.

"_Dream on_," he informed her.

"Well, how many people would ever have imagined _you_ living in a house like this? Yet you do," she pointed out.

House snorted again but said nothing more, taking his hand back when Evie released it. Getting lost in his thoughts, he absently picked Rachel up when she tugged on his pants and stared out at the street.

"I suppose I should go check on dinner," Cuddy murmured after a couple minutes, seeing how distracted he was.

Without turning to face her he asked, "Do you want me to take Evie?"

"No, that's okay," she replied with a soft smile, reaching out to squeeze his bicep lightly. "You've got your hands full. I'll settle her in her highchair. I wouldn't mind getting some time in with her."

House nodded in acknowledgement, setting Rachel down when she indicated that she wanted to go back in with mommy. But he stayed out on the porch, watching the excess rainfall that wasn't soaking into the ground as it began to accumulate in the street, swirling down towards the nearest sewage drain.

Things were going… _well_. He was helpless to realize that and equally powerless to successfully convince _himself_ that was good news. For him, all it meant was the roof was that much closer to caving in on him. If all was good, bad was right around the next corner. It wasn't that he didn't _want_ things to go well. At least, he _thought_ he did. It was just… they never stayed that way and he knew better than to think they _could_. The inevitable fall out always lurked and there were too many ways in which things could go terribly wrong.

Startled by the next thunderclap, House brought his head up and then shook it to clear it. He could do what he tended to do and theorize the various possibilities on how his life would next _screw him over_, or himself _his_ life, as it may be, identifying as many potentials as he could, but truth was, even if he actually hit home with the right conclusion, it so rarely made a _difference_. It so rarely… _helped. _Taking one last glance at the rain coming down, he turned to head back inside, telling himself perhaps this once, he could just allow himself to enjoy what was good in his life and not worry about how that could all go to hell in a hand basket tomorrow.

Closing the door behind him, House headed back into the kitchen only to come to a standstill when he saw Cuddy before him, bent over and cleaning up the dog prints he hadn't yet taken time to clean up.

"I was going to take care of that," he told her somewhat apologetically.

"It's okay. I've got it," she replied, continuing to scrub at the floor.

But House barely heard her because in the time it took for her to answer, his attention had shifted, riveting itself to her backside. He stared at her shapely derriere as she moved about cleaning up after Cookie Monster, suddenly realizing just how short the skirt she had on today was, how what little there was of it conformed to her flesh like a second skin, revealing how little she wore _beneath it _as well, and he couldn't have torn his eyes away if he _wanted to_. _Longing_ washed over him like a tidal wave, making him sway slightly where he stood. But it wasn't because he was having a _sexual_ reaction to her. It was because with _all that was within him_, he _wanted_ to be _able_ to have a sexual reaction to her; to feel what he _used to feel_ while staring at her ass; to _physically_ feel _something. ANYTHING._ _How many times_ had he _stared_ at her assets over the years? And _how many times_ had he found himself in an _uncomfortable_ situation because all it took was a stolen glance her way to get him _all worked up? How many times had he…? _Would he _never _REACT again to a woman? Was this _it_ for him? Had he really lost _it,_ _for good?_

Cuddy glanced around to check on where Rachel was just as she finished cleaning up after Cookie Monster and then froze, suddenly realizing House had not moved but was still behind her, just… _standing there. _Stealing a glance his way, her eyes widened, because he was _most definitely _CHECKING HER OUT and in his eyes… was a look she was _certain_ that she hadn't seen from him in a _long_ time, but had regardless been waiting and hoping for.

Shocked, she could hardly help herself as she straightened and turned towards him, staring wide-eyed at him, her heart now _racing_ as he suddenly met her eyes a second before horror crossed his face at realizing she KNEW where his eyes _had been_.

It was as if a blanket of silence descended and no audible sound could be heard as she stared at him, still trying to figure out what all he'd been thinking, as he quickly looked away, breaking eye contact as soon as he could. Before she could figure _anything_ out, a crackle of lightning split the sky and not a second after, the power went out.

House heard a shriek of "_Mommy!_" and looked around for the girls just as Rachel raced past him in the dark. A flashlight blinked on a second later and he caught sight of Cuddy now kneeling next to Rachel with a flashlight in hand, reassuring her that everything was alright. But the minute she looked up and made eye contact again with him, _what had happened _was right there between them and he quickly looked away, heading for Evie who had been startled but had yet to start crying.

The moment was gone, Cuddy realized and accepted with reluctance. She would have to wait for a time when she could… think more about this and puzzle it out. Now their responsibilities lay before them and there was no way she could do anything _but_ let it go unsolved for the moment.

Shaking herself, she straightened, allowing Rachel to lean into her still for comfort as she looked House's way again and smiled ruefully. "Ready or not, dinner's about to be served."

House avoided looking at her but he nodded slightly as he moved past Evie's high chair to sit down beside her at the table. Monster came over then, whining a little, and lay down by House's feet while Rachel finally moved from Cuddy's side to scamper to House, clambering up into his lap with a little assistance, sitting on his good leg.

"There are some candles in the cabinet on the far left," House volunteered after clearing his throat, indicating the top row of cabinets, still avoiding eye contact.

Cuddy glanced back at him while removing dishes from another cabinet and bit her lip before admitting, "After that dream the other night, I'm not taking any chances. No candles for us."

House would probably have rolled his eyes as if she was being overly dramatic had what had just happened, never taken place. Instead he shrugged. "There are paper plates in the pantry," he informed her. "You might as well make use of them, unless you plan to just put them in the dishwasher to wait for the power to come back on."

Cuddy looked at him, her eyes narrowing slightly, licking her lips before pressing onward in her attempt to just act _normal_. "We still have water in the reservoir. I can fill the sink with water and do them. Paper plates are wasteful."

House shrugged as if to say it was up to her but added, "Whatever but you might want to save it for showering. Whatever water you use from the hot water supply gets replaced with cold water, cooling whatever's in the tank right now."

Cuddy frowned then. "You really think the power is going to be out that long?"

House shook his head but then added another shrug. "It might not come back on tonight but I would imagine it would be back by tomorrow. Unless this storm turns really nasty."

As if on cue, the volume of noise from the storm grew and everyone turned their heads towards the windows as hail started pelting the house.

Cuddy looked back at House and nodded, only hesitating a second before a small smile crept on her lips as she returned the plates to the cabinet and reached for the paper ones he'd told her about, fully expecting he'd be a little smug in seeing that she was doing as he'd suggested.

But he didn't mention it, instead setting Rachel down to head for the window, Rachel taking his hand to follow him as they stared out the window together.

"What's that daddy?" she asked him, her head turning to look up at him, forehead wrinkled.

"_That_ is hail," he explained, concentrating completely on Rachel for the moment. "Like little pieces of ice falling from the sky."

"Like itty bitty ice cubes?" Rachel asked expectantly.

"Uh, sort of," he finally settled for responding. Turning back to Cuddy, he finally glanced her way as he commented, "I'm going to go down in the basement and see if I can find my old weather radio."

"_Me go too!_" Rachel declared, pulling on his hand in excitement.

But House was quick to shake his head. "No Rachel. You stay here," he told her. "There aren't any lights on going down to the basement and I don't want you to fall down the stairs."

"_Okay,_" she agreed with a whine, though it was clear she wasn't happy about it.

House rifled her hair with his hand, a small smile now playing on his lips, before turning to grab a flashlight, heading for the hallway and opening the door to the basement a moment later before carefully taking a few steps down and shutting the door behind him.

He stood there for a moment, eyes tightly closed, finally allowing himself to feel his self-directed frustration for the situation of several minutes ago. After a minute, he then opened his eyes once more, continuing downstairs. He managed to locate the radio with ease and returned to the stairs to head back up, but instead of doing so he sat down on them, needing a moment to just give in to his frustration. He _refused_ to think about what Cuddy might be thinking right now or how she might have interpreted the moment. Only problem was, that was easier said than done. And if he didn't think about what _she_ was thinking, that only left thinking about what _he _had been thinking. Did he _really _want to deal with those thoughts _right now?_ It would only depress him more. Huffing out a breath, he gritted his teeth for a moment before standing up, returning back upstairs a minute later.

Once in the kitchen, House went to the drawer where he kept odds and ends and grabbed out some new batteries to replace the ones currently in the radio. Then once he had it working, he set it on the counter with the volume down so that they could listen as updates came in. By the time he turned back towards them, Cuddy had everything ready and was helping Rachel into her booster seat. Except for occasional glances on Cuddy's part towards House, the meal was a mostly silent one, Rachel being the only one with much to say.

* * *

Cuddy was just cleaning up the table when House shushed Rachel and she shot a look at him to find him concentrating on what the weather report was saying. Taking a step towards the radio, she reached out and turned the volume up for him, just in time to hear them repeat that their county was now under a tornado watch.

The rain had stopped a little while ago but all it took was a glance at the windows to see that the wind had picked up. House got up and headed for the back sliding glass door, analyzing the scene before him. Cuddy joined him a second later.

Suddenly there was a large crack and right before their eyes, a huge tree branch fell on the outer edge of their backyard. As heavy as it had to be, the wind was able to lift it somewhat, making it reverberate slightly against the ground.

"I should get the deck furniture inside the garage in case this storm gets any worse," House stated, glancing only briefly at Cuddy. "Then we should take the girls down to the basement, just to be safe."

"I could help you," Cuddy offered.

House just shook his head. "Someone needs to stay with the girls."

Cuddy nodded and watched him as he pulled his jacket on before grabbing his shoes. Releasing Evie from her highchair a moment later, she then lifted her out, settling her on her hip before heading for the garage in order to open the side door for him as House went out through the sliding glass door to the deck. Once the door was unlocked, Cuddy returned to the kitchen and watched with Rachel and Evie from the window as he struggled against the wind and slowly carted things into the garage, only pausing to grab some rope and a tarp to use to cover the grill outside, tying it down to the deck just in case.

When he came back in she reached for some snacks for the girls and stowed them in the diaper bag before following him towards the basement door.

"I'll go downstairs first so that I can shine the light on the steps for you and Rachel," he informed her, bending down to pick Cookie Monster up from where he had hidden himself due to the storm.

Nodding, she waited as he went downstairs with the dog under his arm and then as Rachel descended, quite happy to be on this new adventure and finding herself in the basement with daddy after all. With Rachel now safely at the bottom skipping about beside House, Cuddy went down with Evie, the diaper bag over her shoulder. House passed her a flashlight and then set the dog down on the floor before he headed back upstairs with the spare flashlight to retrieve the weather radio. Once he was back, Cuddy finally indulged her desire to take a look around as well, glancing about the family room at the furniture there.

Rachel tagged after House as he went around the couch to place one of the flashlights on a small bookcase by the wall, setting the weather radio beside it. Cookie Monster dutifully trailed after the two of them, lying down at House's feet a moment later, begging for his belly to get scratched as he whined and barked until House reached down to comply.

"Daddy, how come we's never come down here to play?" Rachel asked, looking up at him as she placed her little hand in his.

"There's nothing really down here," he replied with a shrug. "All your toys are upstairs."

"Can I look around?" Cuddy asked then.

House looked her way but only for a second, straightening as the puppy rolled back over, before he shrugged. "Be my guest," he replied, reaching for Evie before sitting down on the couch with her in his lap, momentarily distracted by the dog tugging on his shoelaces. Sighing, he reached down and lifted the dog up as well, if only to distract him.

Rachel ran to Cuddy's side and took her hand once the diaper bag was also on the floor, tagging along as Cuddy wandered about. "I thought you brought more of your things from the apartment," she called back to him as she poked the flashlight into the room beside the bathroom, noticing it was empty except for some boxes. Hadn't he told her he had some of his apartment furniture down here? With the exception of the small bookcase, she was fairly certain that the furniture in the main space where House and Evie were right now was brand new.

"I brought some of it but not much," he replied evenly after a moment of silence, his thoughts having instantly diverted to _his reason_ for why he'd been so willing to get rid of his bed, as the question came to him so soon after what had happened upstairs.

"But your furniture?" Cuddy pressed.

"Just bought new stuff," he answered, again after a pause.

"You just got _rid of it all?_" Cuddy responded in surprise. "You never get rid of _anything_."

Instead of responding, House changed the subject by asking, "Where'd you set the diaper bag? The kid's in need of a change."

Leaving the bedroom, Cuddy glanced inside the bathroom as she told him where to find the diaper bag. Coming back towards him, she stepped into the completely empty kitchen, looking around briefly before turning towards him to see he'd found it and was in the middle of changing Evie's diaper.

"What's we gonna do down here?" Rachel asked then, piping up even as she chased Cookie Monster around the room.

Cuddy shot House a smile but he was focused on Evie's diaper change. For a second she frowned, thinking of how quiet he'd been ever since… well, since he'd been caught _staring at her_.

Turning to Rachel with a sigh, she shook her thoughts off and smiled before asking, "Would you like to play a game with mommy?"

"_Hide and Seek,_" Rachel shouted in reply.

Cuddy's eyebrow rose at her response but said, "Sure."

"Me hide," Rachel called out. "Daddy, you's got to find me!"

House looked up even as Rachel sat down not too far away from them, apparently _hiding_. "I hope I can find you," he sarcastically replied, determined to forget what had happened as best he could and concentrate on whatever distractions his daughters provided.

Rachel giggled in reply. "Don't worry. Mommy _help_ you."

* * *

Three hours later, Cuddy shut the basement door behind them as House came up with Rachel. The tornado watch had been cancelled and the storm had now died down quite a bit, making it safe for them to return upstairs. House had gone up first with the diaper bag, Cuddy's computer which they'd used to watch a movie with Rachel, and Cookie Monster, who was now in his crate for the night, having briefly made a trip outside. He'd walked through the house to check for any damage from the storm before returning downstairs, waiting for Cuddy to reach the top of the stairs with Evie before he followed up with a sleeping Rachel.

Heading for Evie's room, Cuddy glanced back at House and asked, "Do you think the power will be out for long? The storm did nothing to ease the humidity. We'll be roasting before long without the air conditioning."

House just shrugged to indicate he had no idea, turning for the stairs, flashlight in his free hand, making his way up with Rachel.

Cuddy continued on into Evie's room, laying her down to change her diaper before putting her pajamas on. Since the baby was still sleeping, she kissed her temple before laying her carefully down within the crib, whispering a good night before heading back out to go upstairs and see if House needed any help with Rachel.

Stepping into the doorway, she flicked off her flashlight and then stood against the doorframe, watching him as he tucked Rachel in under her sheet, leaving her comforter off since the house was warm enough for her to not need it. When he stood back up, she stepped in, walking over to the bed to give Rachel a kiss. Rachel sighed and then turned onto her side, completely out of it.

Cuddy paused long enough to tuck her daughter's hair back behind an ear before she smiled and followed House as he headed back downstairs. Biting her lip, she finally allowed her thoughts to return to the kitchen and earlier. Did she bring it up? Did she just wait for _him_ to? He'd hardly _looked at her_ since then. Who was she _kidding?_ If someone was going to bring it up, it would _have_ to be her.

"_House_," she tentatively started to say, as they reached the landing.

"You can take a shower if you want," he interrupted, coming to a stop and glancing back at her. "I'll take one in the morning with whatever water is left. Assuming the power doesn't come back on by then."

Cuddy opened her mouth but then shut it, biting her lip. He'd lowered the flashlight and she couldn't really see his face all that well in the dark. Even if she _tried _to talk to him, she wouldn't be able to see his face to know what he was thinking. Releasing her lip, she hesitantly replied, "Okay, thanks."

House just nodded, turning then. "See you in the morning," he mumbled, heading into his room.

"See you," she reluctantly murmured back.

When his door closed, she sighed, running a hand through her hair before turning to go into the kitchen, filling a glass with ice cubes before adding water to it to take back upstairs with her, hoping she'd be able to sleep.

* * *

June 15th, 2011

Cuddy turned over and looked at the clock before sighing. The power was still out, meaning she had to grab her phone to know what time it was. Nights like this were the worst, for even though she naturally had a good grasp on exactly when she had to wake up, with her alarm clock not working as a safety guard she spent half the night sleeping fitfully, always waking up to check and make sure the alarm she'd set on her cell phone hadn't failed her or hadn't gone off already and been silenced by accident. She figured House would wake her if she overslept, but as a situation had never arisen to test that theory, she couldn't be sure. With the air conditioning out and heat's natural tendency to rise anyway, her room now felt a little like a sauna, her sheets sticking to her, which only made the situation worse. She had ended up taking a shower as House had suggested, figuring she'd sleep better if her body temperature was lower. She thought once she fell asleep, she'd probably stay that way. But now she was regretting it because she was _back_ to being sticky and moisture was causing her tank top to cling to the small of her back rather uncomfortably, the sheets practically melted to her legs. Knowing she wouldn't be getting back to sleep, she pushed the thin sheet she'd reduced herself to a few hours back, off her and climbed from the bed, deciding she'd slip downstairs and hopefully get some cold water, betting that enough time hadn't yet passed with the power out for the ice cubes to melt completely.

Padding down the steps, she pouted enviously at the thought that House would be making use of what water remained, shortly. If he hadn't aggravated his bad leg the other day, he'd just go and shower after his workout. But with it acting up, he'd opted to take a few days off from the gym to let himself recover. Walking into the kitchen she reminded herself that she could take a shower at PPTH if she went in a little early. But it didn't make the idea of going in sweaty, any more appealing.

Standing before the sink with a glass of water that proved to be tepid at best, her thoughts switched back to the night before and how House had been looking at her. There had been _definite_ longing there, she had decided in the midst of her shower last night. Which was probably in part why taking a shower hadn't helped her much to cool down. He _had _wanted her. She had seen it. She was sure of it. And yet she hadn't had time to respond to it in any way or verbalize what she had seen, the power going off almost… _conveniently _at that precise moment and the girls needing their attention immediately after. And in the end, the moment had come to an end and he'd walked away, not giving her the time necessary to figure out what he _wanted _from this or how _she _should _respond_.

She loved him. She'd _told him so _just the other night. And… he hadn't _objected, for once_. He… hadn't said _anything. _And then last night she catches him checking her out, there was no way to deny _that_, and yet he… _hadn't opted _to _act upon anything either. _Instead he'd kept his distance for the rest of the night and had acted as if she had _the plague_ or something! Still… Maybe she needed to make her wishes _clearer_ for him. Because reality was, she _had _rejected _him_ not all _that _long ago_._ And rejection… did things to you. It had _obviously_ done things to House. And regarding House, she had no doubts that her rejection had meant… the ball would next be in her court, _if in anyone's_. After all, he had made it clear that he was absolutely convinced her desire to be with him was just a… passing fancy of sorts. So… couldn't it be that he _did _want her, but… was too afraid of… well, not her momentary rejection but of her _ultimate rejection_ or… that he was too _determined _to _not allow_ to control him what he _surely wanted,_ to actually allow himself to admit he did in fact _want her?_ So… what was she _to do? _Hadn't she received her answer? Was it not _clear _that he did in fact _desire her still_, _despite_ how much he must have been fighting it all this time? How much clearer could she make it for him to understand those feelings were _mutual? _And that those feelings weren't going _anywhere? _That _she _wasn't going anywhere?

Filling her glass again and figuring it was better than nothing, at least being enough to let her wet down a washcloth to run over her heated flesh, Cuddy turned and headed for the stairs, thinking she needed to cool herself down so that she'd be able to concentrate on this issue before her. But she'd only climbed the first step when she froze, the sound of House's shower being turned on coming to her ears to entice her. _No_. She wasn't going to. That was _WAY too forward._ But even as she thought that, her desire to just throw caution to the wind and _make a move already_ came to entice her. After all, she had to do _something. AND _they could _both _make use of the shower. And… if he let her, she _could_ make it worth his while. He'd _definitely_ understand what she wanted then. And was she really going to back down from going after what she wanted… _AGAIN? _How old had that gotten? But no, it could end _very badly_. Of course, it could also end… very _well. _It could change _everything for them. So…?_

Cuddy wavered in indecision, quickly realizing if she was going to do this, she better do it before the water tank emptied. _Or_ the power came back on. Biting her lip, she scrunched her eyes closed and groaned when all she could see in her mind's eye was House soaping up his naked body, waiting for her to come _help_ him, perhaps even wishing she were in there with him right now, thinking about her body and what he wanted... _Oh screw it! _Turning, she brought her feet back down to the wood floor. What was _the worst_ that could happen? He'd kick her out? Yell at her? How was _that _more than she could handle? She was _Lisa Cuddy!_ She might not have been first in her graduating class as she'd fought to be, and okay, she was still bitter about that. But she'd been _second!_ And she had been the second youngest Dean of Medicine! A _female _Dean of Medicine at that! Okay, again not _the _youngest, but _close!_ And she might not have wound up with the prize of calling House hers back in college, not for very long anyway. But she _WAS _going to have him for the rest of her life, damn it! She… She _went after _what she wanted! She was _Lisa Cuddy! _She didn't back down! She didn't shrink! She was not _some wilting flower!_ She was _hot! _In _every way!_ And damn it all if she didn't want House right now, even more than she wanted to cool down in that shower!

Eyeing his ajar door, she confidently raised her chin and then strode inside his room, setting her glass down on the dresser as she passed before yanking her tank top off over her head, leaving it on the floor behind her as she shoved her pajama shorts off and kicked them aside as well. She wanted him and he wanted her. Those were the facts! It was time for one of them to act upon it!

* * *

House worked quickly to rub shampoo in his hair, squeezing his eyes closed when some of it dripped down his forehead and towards his eyes. Ignoring it for the time being he turned around and let his head fall back under the spray, rinsing it off the back of his head before turning again to get the front, allowing the spray to wash the shampoo from his eyes. While the water pressure was slightly down, it wasn't enough to make him think he had to take a Navy shower and for that he was thankful. He'd had enough Navy showers in his life as a kid, his dad trying to etch into him the principle of the thing, _whatever _it was supposed to instill in him, even if John House had not been in the Navy but a Marine.

It took House a second to process what happened next, but all of a sudden he jumped, almost losing his balance and falling in the shower as he felt a movement of air behind him, a second later comprehending the reason for it: that someone was in the process of stepping in behind him, _just _as soft, feminine hands settling on his waist as if to steady him, and his eyes flew open only to have what was left of the shampoo run into them as his head flew back in alarm.

House instantly cursed under his breath, trying to scrub at his eyes with one hand while reaching blindly for _anything _he could find to cover himself with.

Cuddy had _meant_ for her arrival to be a seductive one, not one that would cause him to freak out, and she bit her lip at the realization that she'd also caused him to get an eyeful of soap rather than of her. "_Sorry,_" she apologized quickly, not giving him time to snarl at her before she moistened her lips anxiously. "I just thought maybe we could take a shower together. _I'll make it worth your while_," she murmured lower then, going all out, her tone changing as her hand crept down and around from where she'd placed it on his waist, sliding over his wet abdomen.

House quickly gave up his attempt to wipe his eyes clear, panicking and reaching down to shove her hand off him. "_Get out! Get out! __GET OUT!"_ he yelled, Cuddy's eyes widening at his reaction as she took a step back from him.

"House, I…" she tried, seeing that this _wasn't_ going to work, suddenly panicking _herself_.

"_No! Get out Cuddy! Get out RIGHT NOW!" _he snarled, _finally _making contact with the towel on the hook outside and yanking it in, not caring if it got soaked as he covered himself the best he could.

"_OKAY," _she appeased him, quickly backing out of the shower, not about to make him ask her again. Frustrated now, she grabbed another towel from the rack in his bathroom, wrapping it around herself before shaking her head and storming out of his bathroom, allowing the door to slam behind her. Bending down after securing the towel better, she grabbed her shorts and tank top, upset with him for how he'd flipped out. He _wanted_ her. She _knew _he did. So why did he have to be _so_ _stubborn?_

Freezing at the sound of a baby crying, she closed her eyes briefly and sighed before reopening them to go in Evie's room. Reaching for her, she picked her up and began to soothe her, fairly certain that Evie had heard House yelling through the wall separating his bathroom from her bedroom, already forgetting how she herself had slammed his door. Grabbing a diaper, she decided to take the baby upstairs with her so that she could change her while getting dressed herself, knowing now was _not the time _to run into House again, even if she now had a towel covering herself.

She'd just reached the first landing when the power came on as if to mock her. Gritting her teeth, she tossed her head indignantly but then continued up, not knowing who she was angrier with. Her _seduction_ had been an _epic fail_. Now she just had to overanalyze the reason _why_.

* * *

House's fists clenched and unclenched repeatedly, his breathing erratic as he tried to not deal with but _withstand_ the storm of emotion working through him. The slamming door _didn't_ improve his mood, although at the very least it meant _she was_ _gone_. Desperate for a way to unleash all he felt within at the moment, he was _this close _to punching the wall, intending to shatter a tile or his hand, whichever of the two would be the result. Instead he reached out and knocked the shampoo bottle and soap off the built-in shelf, making them hit the wall and drop down at his feet, rage that was really more a result of feeling powerless than anything, still leaving his hands trembling. Reaching up one-handed, he grabbed at his own hair. But the shower started making a spitting sound in that moment and he was instantly aware that his time might be running out so he needed to just get what was left of the shampoo, out of his hair before there was no more water making its way through the pipes. _Then _he could have his breakdown.

Rubbing his scalp a bit harder than necessary, he did what he had to in order to finish up, his jaw clenched the whole time. And then he shut the water off, not noticing that the power had come back on as the water pressure had improved, mostly because he hadn't turned the lights on in coming into the bathroom, not seeing the point. Stepping out of the shower, he cast aside the towel he had soaked trying to cover himself quickly and grabbed a spare, further disgruntled when he heard the bar creak at the force he exerted in yanking the towel free. Wrapping it around himself, he caught sight of the flashing lights on the radio he kept in the bathroom and at that point was made aware that the power was back on. Reaching out, he flipped the light switch before reaching up to rub at his still stinging eyes. And upon looking in the mirror, he realized for the first time that the moisture dripping down his face was not just water from the shower but…

"_Ah hell_," he muttered under his breath. "_Pull yourself together, Greg. Stop acting like a girl._"

It was only after he'd said it that he became aware he was telling himself what his dad had said to him as a boy whenever he allowed his emotions to show, that disapproval clearly etched in his face.

Staring at his reflection in disgust at what he'd just unintentionally echoed from the past, it was suddenly like he was back in PPTH's cafeteria that day when his dad said, "_You know what your problem is Greg? You just don't know how lucky you are." _For a moment he just stared at himself, finally mumbling "_Yeah,_" before dropping his gaze to the sink.

Releasing a breath, he turned and shut the toilet lid before sitting down, rubbing a hand over his face while letting his head fall back against the wall. He allowed his eyes to close but all he saw when they did was what had just taken place: Cuddy entering his shower without him having any warning, placing her hands on him, saying something about how she'd "_Make it worth his while_", as if that made it _okay_ for her to be in there in the first place. As if it made things _better. _As if she _could. _As if _he _could _respond to her_ the way she _wanted him to._

"_Damn it!" _he swore under his breath, his jaw clenching again as he removed his head from the wall just to drop it back again.

Shoving himself to his feet a moment later, he scrubbed at his face with his hands before yanking the bathroom door open, checking briefly to be sure his bedroom door was closed as well before reaching for his drawers, pulling clothes out to get dressed. He had to get ready before Evie woke up, if she hadn't already. And he had to _pull it together_. _Soon. _If only for his kids' sake.

* * *

Cuddy was in the kitchen when she heard House's door open. She cringed, squeezing her eyes shut as she braced herself, turning to look in the direction of the hallway, _waiting_ for whatever was coming her way. Rachel had yet to wake up but Evie was sitting in her high chair not too far away, contentedly eating cheerios. Cuddy glanced at her, biting her lip nervously before looking back just as House came in.

Without saying anything to her, he walked past her in a wide circle, tight-lipped and only pausing to release Cookie Monster from his cage, heading for the back door afterwards to take him outside, not even trusting himself yet to approach the baby, all too aware that he had been unsuccessful in his attempts to _pull it together_.

Cuddy watched him go, but somehow the fact that he was _angry with her_, just made her _angry with him_. Shaking her head violently, she turned back to the cabinets and pulled a coffee mug out for herself, knocking it roughly against the counter before filling it from the fresh pot she'd made.

When House came back into the house, the puppy running about in excitement and causing Evie to giggle and drop Cheerios for him, neither one of her parents even noticed, both in their own worlds.

Setting her mug back down on the counter with force, Cuddy turned to him demanding, "What's your _problem?_"

House's cheek ticked in his irritation but he met her gaze, quickly gritting out, "_Today?_ _You!_"

Cuddy's fists clenched at her sides and she growled in her throat before shaking her head, angrily tossing her hair. "I saw how you were _looking at me_ last night, House. And I _didn't _misunderstand you! Don't you _dare _tell me I did! You _wanted me. _You _wanted me so bad…"_

House laughed under his breath, but no one would ever have heard it and made the mistake of thinking he was in the slightest bit amused. "Yeah Cuddy," he retorted. "That's _got _to be it! Because, you know, you're such a _hot commodity _around here. I'm _clearly _the one with the inability to keep his hands _to himself_."

Evie looked from her mommy to her daddy, her giggles having long since died away. She stared at them, not knowing what was going on but only too aware of the tension between them; Monster too retreating, currently hiding under a chair in the breakfast nook, whining softly.

Cuddy's eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms over her chest. "Okay then," she bit out, "Just _tell_ me. _Tell me_ what the_ problem_ is. Tell me _why _you can't stand the thought of having sex with me. I'm a big girl. I can _take it_. What? I disgust you now? My body has _changed too much?_ I'm not as _attractive? _What? Was it seeing me pregnant that did it, my body shape changing to accommodate your child? Is _that_ why we had to go with _Viagra?_ I lost all the _appeal_ that I'd previously held to you? Or did you just _get tired of me? _Was it too much of the same thing? Is that it?"

By now Evie had started to whimper, which quickly turned into crying, and while Cuddy just grew louder, losing control, all her doubts and fears crashing down upon her, House headed for the baby somewhat absently, _aware _that she was crying and needed to be comforted, but also hearing every word that fell from Cuddy's lips, freezing momentarily in the midst of lifting Evie out at the mention of Viagra, his eyes pressing shut as he gritted his teeth.

Opening his eyes once more, he settled Evie upon his chest, trying to soothe her even as he turned back to Cuddy, waiting for her to finish. "It's all about you, isn't it Cuddy?" he finally asked quietly, his eyes flashing, shaking his head. "It's_ always_ about you."

"Well just tell me _what it is about me_ that disgusts you so!" she yelled at him, her face red and now extremely close to shedding the tears she was trying so desperately to refrain from falling.

Evie's crying quickly escalated into utter emotional distress but House pressed her head against his chest, covering her exposed ear with his hand unconsciously before yelling right back at Cuddy, "_Not everything is about YOU!"_

Cuddy reached to take the baby from him, intending to comfort her, but Evie clung to House even when he tried to release her to Cuddy, forcing Cuddy to give up and leave the baby with him, screaming though she was.

Her tears now flowing freely, Cuddy scrubbed a hand over her face just as they heard loud crying coming from the top of the stairs. Cuddy closed her eyes, realizing that this whole thing was a mess and now the girls were being affected by it. Shaking her head, her expression falling, she yet managed to plead brokenly, "Just tell me why you don't want to have sex with me, House. _Tell me what it is_. You love me. But you clearly don't have any kind of physical desire to be with me. Just… give me an answer, a _real answer,_ and I'll _never ask again_. I'll leave you alone. _I will. I promise_."

House expelled his breath, looking away, shaking his head. Finally, without looking at her, he swallowed hard and said quietly, "It's not you, Cuddy. It's_ me_. I… just can't. _I can't._"

"But what does that _even mean?_" she whined, swiping at her tears.

"I've got to get Rachel," was all he said in response as he passed Evie to Cuddy despite her attempts to stay with him, his voice barely audible over her cries. "I've got to get her ready to go."

"_House,_" she pleaded after taking the baby, needing him to make her understand before he walked away from her.

"Figure it out," he replied in defeat, his shoulders falling as he left the room.

While Cuddy closed her eyes to try and cut off the flow of tears, murmuring softly to Evie to try and calm her, House climbed the stairs, resigned to his fate, resigned to Cuddy shortly _knowing everything_ and how little he could offer her anymore; the reason _WHY _he was no longer of any worth as a man.

Approaching the landing, he caught sight of Rachel, tear-streaked and panicked-looking where she sat on the floor on the other side of the gate, sniffing. But the minute she caught sight of him, she started and then scrambled to get away, her eyes wide. And House stopped where he stood, not daring to come any closer to her, suddenly _terrified himself _by her apparent fear of him.

"_Mommy_," she whimpered, still moving away from him, inch by inch. "_I want mommy. Mommy!"_

And in that moment House's heart just broke completely. Taking a step back and away from her, he descended a step before turning, walking away, grieved by his own kid's reaction to him. He knew what it felt like to be _that kid_. And he'd sworn he'd _never do that_ to either of his girls. That he'd never let them be in the place he'd found himself in, as a kid. But nevertheless, he just had.

Picking up the diaper bag where he'd set it before entering the kitchen earlier, he placed it on his shoulder and then limped back into the kitchen, the ache in his thigh ever so present. Approaching Cuddy, he didn't hesitate to take Evie from her as the baby reached for him, still crying though quieting slightly once in his arms.

"_House,_" Cuddy whispered, needing to work this out with him.

"Your daughter needs you," he mumbled, not meeting her eyes before he stepped around her and headed to the back door, opening it and closing it as softly as he could before heading to his car, limping away.

"_**A light shines off in the distance  
A pale flickering glow  
How many times do I have to dream I could be there?  
The time is here but she won't be waiting**_

_**For me to find the easy way out  
I've lost count of the days that were wasted**_

**There's an answer**  
**In the sound of a train**  
**There is wisdom**  
**Past the bridge on the bay**  
**There's a lifetime**  
**Through the fog in the rain**  
**There's a beauty**  
**In walking away**

**I float on the streets that are empty**  
**Take the path that the wind only knows**  
**Tonight is the last time that I'll ever be here**  
**Oh, be here**

_**There's an answer  
In the sound of a train  
There is wisdom  
Past the bridge on the bay  
There's a lifetime  
Through the fog in the rain  
There's a beauty  
In walking away**_

**It's never quite simple**  
**It's never that safe**  
**It never seems perfect**  
**Until it's too late**  
**It's never the right time**  
**To find a new way, yeah, yeah**

**There's an answer**  
**In the sound of a train**  
**There is wisdom**  
**Past the bridge on the bay**  
**There's a lifetime**  
**Through the fog in the rain**  
**There's a beauty**  
**There's an answer**  
**In the sound of a train**  
**There is wisdom**  
**Past the bridge on the bay**  
**There's a lifetime**  
**Through the fog in the rain**  
**There's a beauty**  
**In walking away"**

* * *

Song: "Beauty In Walking Away" (Marie Digby)


	96. Lotta Love

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

Cuddy helplessly watched House go, sighing heavily when the garage door closed quietly behind him, the automatic garage door opening moments later. In the silence of the house the quiet crying coming from upstairs came to her ears and further enforced what she already knew; she had to pull herself together and _let this go_ for the time being. Swiping at any remaining trace of tears from her face, she _tried_ to do just that, even as her thoughts continued cycling through her head.

While she could understand House's desire to retreat from what had been said between them, she didn't exactly _like it. _And then there was the fact that he'd completely left Rachel behind. What was _that_ all about? Had he just been impatient to get away? What did he want her to do? Was she to take Rachel to daycare and drop her off, making the assumption that House would pick her up after work? He'd left long before his normal time of departure, which in a way also meant that she did realistically have time to drop her off without arriving late herself. At least, not late by much, depending on how long it took to get out the door. But was she to _call him to find out?_ Or would it be best if she just left him alone for the time being and _checked in_ later in the day to see what his plans were? It was doubtful right now that he'd answer if she _did_ call him. Did he just need some _time _to work through stuff? Had she… had she pushed him _too hard?_

"_Your daughter needs you,_" he had mumbled to her. _Her _daughter. Wasn't Rachel _their _daughter now? Whatever happened to _that?_ Swallowing the knot of emotion in her throat, she turned and headed for the stairs. First things first, she knew.

"Mommy's coming," she managed to softly call upstairs, her voice coming out even to her own ears, strained. Beginning the climb a second later, it took all her energy just to go up the two short flights of steps, physically drained from what had happened in House's bathroom and the early morning screaming match which had followed it.

Cuddy paused once she reached the top step, her eyes taking in Rachel who sat there just bawling not far from the gate, clearly as miserable as the rest of them this morning. Cuddy bit her lip but opened the gate, taking two more steps before she knelt down at her daughter's side, reaching for her.

Rachel allowed Cuddy to lift her up, wrapping her arms around Cuddy's neck and her legs around Cuddy's torso like a baby monkey.

"_Shh, Rachel. It's alright. Mommy's here_," Cuddy murmured, adjusting Rachel slightly in her arms so that she could hold her with one arm once standing and momentarily free one hand to wipe away the tears she herself was shedding at coming upon Rachel so distraught, in order that she could then wipe away Rachel's as well, stroking her tangled hair a moment later. "_Mommy's got you._ _You don't have to cry._"

"_I want Baby G,"_ Rachel sobbed into her neck.

"Alright, well, we'll go find her then," Cuddy softly agreed, heading into the bedroom with Rachel.

She tried to set her down on the bed but Rachel clung to her all the more, unwilling to part from her. Letting out a deep breath, Cuddy scanned the room, looking for the doll. Not seeing her but certain that she had been here last night when House had tucked Rachel in, Cuddy reached down and began to haphazardly right the bed, pulling the sheets up as best she could and using a foot to try and replace the comforter from where it had fallen onto the floor, balancing herself while she did so. Spotting a foot sticking out from under the bed at that point, Cuddy carefully lowered herself down, sitting on the edge of the bed in order to reach under it, handing Baby G to Rachel a moment later. Baby G now clutched to Rachel's tummy with one arm, basically smothered between them as Rachel continued to cling to her with her other arm, Cuddy sat there, rocking with her in her embrace, stroking Rachel's back as she murmured softly to her in reassurance until Rachel's sobs slowly eased up to the point of shudders and hiccups.

When Rachel's tears came to an end, Cuddy pressed a kiss to the side of her head before asking, "Can we get you dressed?"

A few seconds passed without response but then Rachel turned her head to the side and nodded into Cuddy's shoulder, silently agreeing.

Cuddy didn't really know what to say to her daughter right now, recognizing that she was too young to really know how to interpret the fight she and House had had downstairs, and so she determined to not say anything at all, unless Rachel brought it up. Putting on her bravest smile, she changed her into an outfit and then carried her into the bathroom nearby, settling her on the counter to brush her hair out, talking softly to her about her baby doll, how pretty she looked today, and whatever else occurred to her in order to distract Rachel and help her feel better. Once they were both ready to go downstairs, Cuddy carried Rachel down, setting her down on the floor once they were in the kitchen, telling her that they were going to take a bag of cereal in the car with them for her to munch on.

While Rachel had calmed down, she was nevertheless reluctant to leave Cuddy's side, one arm remaining wrapped around Cuddy's leg while her other hand was up, three fingers in her mouth.

Catching sight of movement out of the corner of her eye, Cuddy glanced towards the breakfast nook. Cookie Monster was in the process of wiggling out from under a chair, but while his tail was wagging and he clearly wanted to approach them, he nevertheless was attempting to do it in a hesitant manner, making a wide circle around them much as House had around her when he'd first entered the kitchen. Setting aside the bag of cereal, Cuddy turned and squatted down, calling him. Cookie Monster came then but the minute he was within reach he hunched down close to the floor, slowly inching towards her outstretched hand, whining softly.

"It's okay, boy," she murmured, gently petting him once he was close enough. It looked like the girls weren't the only ones who didn't know what was going on this morning and how to react.

Rachel bent down then too and removed her fingers from her mouth to call him, the puppy quickly getting up and scrambling the few inches that separated them, slipping and sliding in his eagerness, confidence back into play. He barked and ran circles around them and Rachel giggled at his antics, her giggles ultimately dissolving into more hiccups.

"You ready to go to daycare?" Cuddy asked her, another overly bright smile plastered on her lips.

Rachel hesitated, turning serious, but then her fingers returned to her mouth and her head bobbed in answer.

"_Alright_," Cuddy cheerfully announced. "Then you hold on to _this_ and _I_ will put Cookie Monster in his crate so that we can go," she continued, passing Rachel the bag of cereal from the counter.

Rachel accepted the baggie and once Cookie Monster was put away, she took her mommy's hand, following her out to the car. Cuddy buckled her in securely, smiling for her and stroking her cheek briefly, before she shut the door and climbed into the driver's seat, starting the engine before popping in a CD of Rachel's favorite songs, singing along until Rachel finally began to sing bits and pieces too.

* * *

Cuddy parked her car in Riverside East's parking lot and climbed out, opening Rachel's door a moment later to unbuckle her.

"Are you ready to go play?" she asked, continuing to persevere in her aim for cheerfulness despite finding herself worrying her bottom lip at not having spotted House's car in the parking lot, stealing a glance back over her shoulder to see if she could spot his car entering the parking lot yet.

Rachel looked at her as her mommy freed her arms from the car seat in order to lift her out, her angelic little face turning serious and little fingers returning to her mouth before she mumbled, "Daddy no take me?"

Cuddy paused a second but then reached for her, lifting her free as she said, "No baby. Daddy had to leave before we could get you ready to go, so he couldn't bring you. But mommy will go inside with you. Okay? I'm sure you'll see daddy later."

Rachel's lip started to quiver and she looked down, using the fingers of her free hand to play with one of the buttons on Cuddy's shirt from where Cuddy had settled her on her hip. "You's was yellin'. Daddy yell too. Me was scared."

Cuddy's eyes shut in sorrow at Rachel's confession, having hoped she would have already forgotten all about what she had woken up to, even while her behavior was telling Cuddy that wasn't the case. Opening them again she found Rachel staring at her, her eyes now filling with tears.

"_Oh baby_," Cuddy murmured, her stomach plummeting at the sight. Wrapping Rachel more tightly in her embrace and laying her cheek against the side of Rachel's head, she continued, "_I'm so sorry we scared you honey. Daddy and I didn't mean to._"

A crocodile tear rolled slowly down Rachel's cheek, wetting Cuddy's shoulder a moment later. Needing to see her daughter, Cuddy checked to make sure the roof of her car was still cool to the touch and clean, before placing Rachel on it so that they could see one another's faces, catching the next tear on her fingertip as it began its descent. "_Don't cry, honey. Everything will be okay_. Daddy and I… well, sometimes we don't_ understand each other _very well. Sometimes we get mad and… and yell a little bit. But you don't have to be _scared_. Daddy and I love you very much and we don't mean to scare you."

Cuddy wasn't sure how much of what she was saying was getting across, but Rachel reached for her and so she once more took her into her arms, giving her a tight hug before hitting the button on her key fob to lock the doors, hoping Rachel would feel better once she got to the toddler's room.

Cuddy stopped to peek in through the window of the infant room but did not see Evie there. Frowning momentarily, she continued onward to Rachel's room, actually a bit relieved to see Ruth was occupied with another parent because she didn't know how she'd ever explain being the one to bring Rachel in this morning, though she supposed she didn't have to explain _anything_.

Cuddy hung around for a few minutes making sure that Rachel was okay, but thankfully her attention had quickly been redirected to a fish aquarium that one of her teacher's was setting up and so there was _some _hope that the rest of her day would be a good one. All the same Cuddy made sure to mention that Rachel had had a rough morning and she asked them to call her should anything come up. Once assured that they would, Cuddy gave up dawdling in hopes of catching at least a glimpse of House and headed back to her car, knowing that there was nothing else she could do.

* * *

House didn't really know what he was doing or where he thought he was going. He just found himself driving aimlessly around, thankful that Evie had drifted off not long after they'd gotten in the car. Originally, his intention had been to go to the gym with her and work off some of his stress. But when they'd arrived there, she'd been so peaceful, her breathing having finally evened back out after all the tears, that he didn't want to risk waking her, thinking she probably needed the sleep to recover. And too, his anger had already dissipated, having been replaced by a great pit in his gut, filled with regrets and hopelessness. It wasn't that he didn't _try _to get angry about what had happened. And normally, he wouldn't have had to try at all. But today, every time he came close, Rachel came to mind, the pit swelling with more weeping ooze in response. So then he gave up on anger and just… tried not to think about Rachel either.

Glancing at the clock some time later, he realized he'd been driving around for over an hour now. And since nothing looked familiar, he was about 90% certain he'd be late for work. Somehow he couldn't force himself to care though.

* * *

House smoothed Evie's hair once more before surrendering her, relieved that she seemed to be fine now. Stepping out of the baby room, he had intended to go right upstairs, knowing that as it was, Cameron would be waiting for him and ask him where he'd been. Instead he found himself in front of the toddler room, looking in the window, spying on the group.

He had half assumed Cuddy would bring Rachel here, unless she decided to take the day off after what had happened. But no, Rachel was here as he'd thought she might be. He stared into the room, watching her where she sat on the ground with Baby G, another kid and one of her teachers building a block tower not too far away. Seeing her now, he felt the knot ease a little. She seemed to be alright. She wasn't _crying, _anyway. And then as if she sensed his presence, her little head turned towards the glass and their eyes locked. He watched as she recognized him. But when her little head bent down, a couple fingers being popped into her now-pouting mouth, Rachel stealing little glances at him, House's mouth firmed once again, along with the knot in his gut. Turning, he limped out of the daycare and to the elevator, knowing as much as he hated change, more change was in store. It looked like it just couldn't be helped.

* * *

"Will you stop staring at me like that?" House flat out demanded.

"I'm not staring at you," Cameron replied with a quick shake of her head, once more looking at the file that they were supposed to be reviewing before noting it was just after eleven.

House quirked an eyebrow pointedly at her, waiting until she stole a glance at him to roll his eyes.

Cameron sighed then but stated in exasperation, "Well, I wish you would just _tell me_ what's going on."

"Nothing's going on," he firmly replied, flipping a page in the patient's file in emphasis. "That's the problem."

"House," she rebuked, "You _know _that I _wasn't _referring to the patient."

House didn't bother to respond.

Expelling her breath, she nevertheless gave up, knowing that House wouldn't be forced into confiding in her. He'd come in a half hour late without any explanation as to why and he had been plain miserable ever since. An irritable House she could deal with. But a silent, withdrawn one she was having trouble knowing how to help. She'd asked about Evie. _"She's fine. Downstairs," _he had simply replied. She'd asked about Rachel. It had taken him a second longer perhaps but he'd given her the same answer. _"Downstairs."_ And with dread, she'd finally asked about Cuddy. That was the only time his answer differed, House not even bothering to answer her. But she wasn't sure whether it was because he had grown tired of her questions or if there was much more to it. Several times she had come close to asking again about Cuddy, but… something stopped her. Maybe she didn't really want to know. But she wasn't positive if that was her reasoning. Part of her also thought if it _was _something to do with Cuddy, maybe it was better for _House _that she let it slide. The problem though was the war going on inside her.

Eyeing him again, she frowned, quickly returning her eyes to the page she was supposed to be going over when House once more lifted his gaze to shoot a glare her way.

* * *

Cameron and House were in the middle of a differential, finally seeming to be getting somewhere on the case, when he threw her a curve ball, swiftly changing the subject on her to mumble, "I need a favor."

She of course shut up, her concentration immediately focusing upon him as she waited for him to continue. House very rarely asked her for anything. He'd sent her off this morning to do a battery of tests, mostly to get rid of her she thought. But she doubted this would be about another test he wanted her to run. So she wondered if his favor to ask had anything to do with his disposition today. When he turned to look out the window instead of directly at her, she knew the answer to her unspoken query. The frustrating part however was that it didn't tell her all that much.

"Can you take Rachel after work and drop her off at the house for me?"

Her eyebrows furrowed for a moment but eventually she said, "Sure. I'll need her car seat but that shouldn't be a problem. I'll just give Chase a call and let him know Elliot and I will be home a little late. But… why, House?"

"I have to leave early. I've got an appointment tonight," he pronounced with a shrug, now focusing his attention on the ball he kept on his desk, reaching for it to toss back and forth.

"You have an appointment _every_ Wednesday night," she couldn't help countering.

"Yep, but I don't have time to take her home tonight first. That's why I asked you," he pointed out.

Cameron considered him for a second but then just nodded, leaving it at that. At least in taking Rachel home, she'd be able to observe Cuddy. Maybe then she'd have the problem narrowed down to a who instead of a what.

* * *

Cuddy had spent her first several hours at work, _trying _to concentrate on what she needed to get done. _Unfortunately, _she met with little success. Instead of decreasing in size, the amount of work she had on her desk was incrementally _increasing_. She knew she needed to accomplish _something, _but when her lunch break came and went with her remaining in her office and yet _not_ getting anywhere, she pushed her chair back, giving up on waiting any longer and left her office, telling her assistant she would be taking the rest of the afternoon off before heading upstairs. She knew it wasn't yet time for her appointment but maybe Kate would be free and perhaps if she spoke to her, she'd be able to process things and figure out what to do. That was her hope anyway. She certainly wasn't getting anywhere on her own.

Entering the reception area to Dr. Milton's office, Cuddy approached Kate's secretary and asked, "Is there any chance she is free right now?"

"I think so. I know no one is currently in there with her. Let me check." Picking up the phone, Linda hit a button and then waited a moment before speaking. "Dr. Milton, Dr. Cuddy is out here asking for you. Do you have some time to see her now?" Cuddy waited as Linda listened to Kate's response. Glancing up at her, she smiled and nodded.

"Okay, I will send her in," she replied to Kate before hanging up.

"Go on in, Dr. Cuddy," she told her once the phone was back on the hook.

"Thank you, Linda," she replied, heading for the door and turning the knob before pushing it open.

"Do you only have a moment or… do you think I could move my appointment up?" Cuddy asked apologetically, once Kate had invited her in.

"Sure. I just had a cancellation. I've got two hours if you want them," she offered invitingly, setting aside some paperwork she'd been working her way through.

Cuddy nodded before sighing and admitting, "Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure if you have them, I'm going to need them."

"Have a seat," Kate directed, giving Cuddy a sympathetic smile while gesturing to the chairs before her desk. Waiting until Cuddy was seated, she then asked, "How are things going?"

Cuddy sighed, struggling for words. Before she could stop herself the tears began to fall, her frustration from that morning having been on simmer all day, only increasing as she worried about how the night would go down. Kate didn't say anything at first, allowing her to cry, although she did extend a tissue box her way. Cuddy pulled several tissues out, dabbing at her eyes and then blowing her nose, but the tears didn't seem to want to stop, now that they'd been allowed to the surface.

"I'm sorry," she apologized in embarrassment, before she continued, her words tumbling out on top of each other. "I don't know what's _wrong with me_ today. I think perhaps I've really screwed things up with House but… I just don't _understand him_ and I don't know what to _think_ and this morning was a _nightmare_, but I'm not so sure this evening will be any better and how am I going to _fix things_ if I can't get a real _answer_ out of him? He won't even talk to me right now. I called him but it went to voicemail and then I left a message asking him if he was going to pick Rachel up from daycare tonight and instead of calling me back, he called the front desk and told the nurse on duty to let me know my daughter would be brought home. Didn't even say who he was, though I guess the reason for that is easy to figure out. Still, it's obvious he intentionally chose not to return my call."

Cuddy's mascara that she'd applied after arriving that morning was now streaking down her cheeks and when she saw it on her tissue after once more dabbling at her face, she gave out a strangled sob, looking away before shaking her head, all the more dejected.

Kate pondered her for a moment but then said, "I think I'm going to sit next to you, if that's alright."

Cuddy nodded after her confusion regarding Kate's offer cleared, laughing uncomfortably in personal mortification a second later as Kate stood up and then came around the desk before she sank into the chair next to her, pulling her feet up underneath her and reaching out to lightly touch Cuddy's arm, establishing contact if only for a moment. After another minute passed, Cuddy's tears beginning to ease up, Kate cleared her throat and spoke. "How about you start at the beginning?" she suggested.

Cuddy wiped her face once again and then drew in a shaky breath before she attempted to meet Kate's gaze, crumpling the last tissue in her hand somewhat anxiously. Sniffing, she murmured brokenly, "So Rachel and I have been living with House and Evie for a while now, right? And it's been _wonderful_. _Especially lately_. But… sometimes it's so _hard_ to be around him all the time and _not_… I don't know – _understand_ why we can't just move _forward_. We're making progress one moment and the next… Well, I just… Head-wise, I can _understand_ that we're at different places right now. But heart-wise, I desperately want to show him how much I _want_ to be _with him_. I want _intimacy with him. _I want to be _together."_

"By intimacy, you mean sex?" Kate clarified, wanting to make sure she was following.

Cuddy bit her lip and looked away, but nodded. Staring at the floor, she shrugged and added, "I've never known House to _not_ be interested in sex. Yet… he's_ just not interested_. And I… I don't know _what to do to catch his interest_. I know this flies in the face of all we've talked about but… I just can't seem to help myself. I want him to be _interested_."

Kate waited for Cuddy to meet her eyes and then nodded sympathetically before quietly probing, "Did something happen between you two?"

Cuddy sighed and then blew her nose again before worrying her lip a moment, nodding reluctantly. "Last night he… was _looking at me_ and I thought I saw _something_ in his eyes. I was… I was cleaning the kitchen floor after the dog had come inside leaving muddy paw prints there, and I glanced back only to find him… _staring_ at me. He… he was staring at my ass. And the _way_ in which he was _staring at it_, well, I was _positive _that it meant that he… actually _did want_ _to be with me_. I straightened and turned to him. I guess I was just… _shocked_ because he hasn't appeared to notice me _at all_, in _that way _lately_. _But then the electricity went out from the storm and the moment was lost to me because we were with the girls and Rachel was scared and… House couldn't even sustain _eye contact_ with me after that."

Shaking her head in frustration, Cuddy worried her lip before dropping the Kleenex in her lap to tuck her hair back behind her ear. "Anyway," she drew out. "The power was out all night long and I was too warm to sleep, unable to rest anyway because I kept worrying I'd miss my alarm if I _did _try to sleep, and so around five in the morning I headed downstairs to get some water. And I… couldn't _stop thinking _about the way he'd been looking at me. I was _positive _that what I saw in his expression was a longing to… _to finally…. _Well, I went to head back upstairs but just as I was about to go up, I heard his shower turn on. I… I was _roasting _but I'd already taken a shower before going to bed to try and cool down. With the power out though, I didn't expect to be able to take another. So… I don't know what I was _thinking_. The girls were still sleeping. And I, well, _at the time, it just… It seemed _like if I _never made a move, HE never would. _I decided that, well, that the time had come to _do something,_" she finished in shame at actually vocalizing what she had done, wondering now in retrospect, as it had all gone so bad from there, just what she could _possibly_ have been thinking at the time.

"So you made your move _by…?_" Kate prompted, not yet choosing to respond to anything that had been said.

"I came at it from the wrong angle _entirely_," Cuddy confessed, squeezing her eyes shut before rubbing a hand over her face, her chin then falling to rest in the palm of her hand. "There used to be this _free-flowing_ sexual tension between us all the time while we were working together. It was like you_ couldn't shut it off_. I thought maybe it just needed a… you know, a _jumpstart_ of sorts. I know it's been a while for him. I'm almost positive that he hasn't been with anyone since…" Sighing, Cuddy shrugged helplessly. "I thought maybe he might show some _reluctance _at first, but in the end, that he'd jump at the chance. But then I went into his bathroom, stepped in the shower, and… then his eyes were full of soap and he _wasn't_ happy to find me there and he… just started freaking out and yelling at me."

"What did he say?" Kate asked softly, practicing everything she'd learned over the years as she worked to keep her tone even and nonjudgmental even as bewildered as she was by Lisa's sudden decision to be so forward.

Cuddy shook her head as if she was still bewildered by it all but exclaimed, "He told me to get out, of course! So I _did! _What else could I _do?_"

Silence fell between them as Cuddy sighed once more, looking away, traces of anger returning to her expression as her head moved from side to side in consternation now.

"And then what happened?" Kate prompted.

Cuddy huffed out a breath, flicking her hand out as if she was giving up, but acknowledged, "I had no right to enter his bathroom like that. I get it. I _messed up_. So when he told me to get out and wouldn't let me explain, I did as he told me. I got out. I grabbed a towel and left as quickly as I could, grabbing my clothes on the way. Then when I left his bedroom, the baby was crying. So I went to get her and took her upstairs with me to change her diaper before getting dressed, and afterwards, since Rachel was still sleeping, I headed down to the kitchen to give Evie some cereal to eat while I made coffee. House came in the kitchen not long after that and it didn't take a _genius_ to see that he was absolutely _furious_ with me. I was defensive, I think. I don't know. It's all so frustrating to me. And his anger just made_ me angry_. I… _snapped._"

Cuddy briefly gave her an account of what had transpired in the kitchen and how she'd confronted him about how he'd been looking at her the night before and then demanded to know why he didn't want to have sex with her, how he in turn had accused her of making everything about her and how she'd finally told him that she'd leave him alone if he'd just give her a real answer.

"And what did he say?" Kate inquired after a lengthy silence fell between them, adjusting her position a little in her chair.

Cuddy expelled her breath through her nose and then scrubbed her face with both hands before shaking her head in frustration, her anger coming alive once more. "He said he can't. He said '_It's not you, it's me,_'" she distastefully echoed. "As if that _counts_ as an _explanation! _As if that clears _everything up_ and suddenly I'm going to _understand _and have no problem _accepting _that he just isn't interested in sex with me! When has _anyone _ever heard those words and reacted _favorably _to them? How is that _not _just another slap in the face? All I was asking for was an _honest answer! _And he wouldn't give me one! So I asked him what that was supposed to mean and he just… He told me to '_figure it out_' and walked away."

Kate allowed silence to descend upon them when Cuddy stopped speaking, giving them both a moment to process and regroup as she formulated a response to what had just been said, not wanting to reply too hastily.

Backtracking slightly, Kate asked, "What do you think he meant when he told you that he can't? It sounds like you think he _can_, but just doesn't _want to_. Your interpretation of him telling you that it's not you, but him, makes me think you felt like he wasn't being honest. Like perhaps you think he was just trying to get you to let it go so that he wouldn't have to answer you truthfully."

Cuddy's eyes welled up with tears once more and she bit her lip, trying to fight them, only glancing briefly in Kate's direction before focusing her gaze on a picture across the room. Biting her bottom lip, she shrugged and finally mumbled, "Maybe he's… _trying _to spare my feelings. He's been so supportive with Evie and… It wouldn't be surprising if this was his way of cutting me a break, would it? Even if I just want to know already. I… I just don't think he's attracted to me anymore, Kate. That's all I can come up with. I don't know _what _his look last night meant anymore. But I just… I think whatever it was, it was momentary. Maybe for a second, he… was attracted to me. But it… wasn't _me _that he was attracted to. If that makes any sense. Maybe for a moment I looked really good to him and then… then I _didn't. _Maybe sex looked good, just not with me."

"Why do you say that?" Kate queried, her voice soothing.

"Before… _any of this_ happened between us," Cuddy began, referring to the events surrounding her pregnancy, "he used to make… sexual remarks. I'm fairly certain I already told you this. And well, maybe it wasn't something he did much of when he came back to work after being away, but definitely before then. We had this… undeniable chemistry between us. I _knew_ he found me attractive and… desirable."

"And now?" Kate encouraged.

Cuddy looked down before answering. "I don't know. He says he loves me but can't be with me. And last night he was looking at me in a way that makes me think he _does_ desire me, but… well, it isn't like he ever says anything anyone would consider _inappropriate_ anymore."

Kate smiled faintly. "You liked that he said inappropriate things to you," she summarized.

A small smile finally tugged at Cuddy's mouth in response and she shrugged, straightening her posture a little. "Of course," she admitted after a moment. "I knew he was interested. It's nice to know that you've got a guy's attention. And when it's House… Besides, he'd _always_ been like that with me. It was part of what made him House and part of what made us, us. He'd say something suggestive and I'd… _act annoyed_ or… _shoot him down_, but… It was part of challenging one another. It was something we both thrived off of."

Kate nodded in understanding before a question she'd never asked came to mind. Her brow wrinkling slightly, she inquired, "I know you and House were intimate for the first time in college and then again, when you became pregnant. Are those the _only_ two occasions in which you were physically intimate with one another?"

Cuddy froze then, briefly making eye contact but just as quickly looking away without answering the question, never having wanted to tell _anyone, _not even Kate, about that part of her pregnancy.

Kate's eyebrow rose, the answer clearly a no. Honestly, it wasn't unusual for a patient to withhold information, not wanting to divulge everything or appear in a bad light or hear what they already knew you'd say and confront them about. So she couldn't exactly say she was _surprised_. It was more that she suddenly just knew she'd missed an important part of the whole, without knowing yet what it would prove to be exactly, and she leaned forward before reformatting her question, taking it in the direction that seemed most relevant to now. "Was the last time you and House had sex, the night in which you became pregnant?"

Cuddy cringed visibly in response, answering Kate's question for her but without words.

Kate waited for a minute before she quietly pointed out, "_You know Lisa_, you don't _have _to tell me _anything_. But I can't _help you _if you aren't willing to _trust me_ and open up. So Lisa, you have to be the one to decide where we go from here. And you've got to be the one to decide just how much you are willing to confide in me. If this is as far as you think I can take you in the healing process, or as far as _you personally_ want to go with me, then you need to tell me so. I think you've made a _lot _of progress. But I don't think you've gone as far as you can go. I think if you decide to trust me, you won't regret it."

Cuddy's eyes closed as she turned her head farther away and Kate sat back a little to wait her out, giving her time to make her own decision.

"No," Cuddy finally mumbled after several minutes had passed, making her answer as short as possible as she stole a glance Kate's way.

"Would you like to expand on that answer?" Kate prompted, fully aware that Cuddy's response was to the question she'd asked before and not to whether or not she thought she was ready to be done with counseling.

"No. But I will," she reluctantly agreed after another moment. She then inhaled and exhaled before meeting Kate's gaze, her own eyes revealing that what she was about to share was nothing if not torture to disclose to another person. Closing her eyes briefly, Cuddy resolved herself to having this conversation, despite how much she _didn't _want to have this conversation. Focusing her attention on a warped spot on Kate's desk, she confessed ever so hesitantly, "While I was pregnant… my hormones kicked up to the point where I… where I refused to just deal with them anymore. I… communicated that to House and he… he agreed to have sex with me."

"Was this a one-time agreement or something that would be repeated?" Kate clarified.

"It wasn't just once," Cuddy softly murmured, shaking her head.

"How did this agreement come about?" she then inquired, her voice even yet gentle, knowing that from the way Cuddy had worded everything and in that it had happened more than one time, there was going to be a story attached.

"I… I was really angry at him," Cuddy began. "I felt forced into having this baby and I… I hated him for that. I… When my hormones got out of whack, I approached him. I basically gave him an ultimatum. I told him… Well, I told him either he would have to… meet my needs or I would go looking for it somewhere else. _Anywhere else_," Cuddy finished, obviously ashamed of herself in having to repeat the details to someone else.

Kate thought about it for a moment, keeping her face expressionless. Finally she clarified, "And he agreed that he'd '_meet your needs'?"_

Cuddy nodded, glancing up at her then and trying to read her face for any sign of distaste or condemnation, without success.

"So then, that first time after you'd come to an agreement, how did it happen?"

"I demanded a key to his apartment and he gave it to me. I went over there one night and we… had sex," she quickly stated, wetting her lips afterwards, her stomach now churning at her partial disclosure.

"So you had a key and you let yourself in. What was he doing when you got there?" Kate continued, not rushing her while still inviting her to disclose information.

"He was reading a magazine article," Cuddy replied after a moment's pause, looking away again.

"What did you do or say when you got there?"

This time Cuddy shook her head but then matter-of-factly replied, "I had Rachel with me so I set her down on the couch. She was asleep. Then I walked down the hallway to his bedroom and undressed, waiting for him to follow me."

"Was there any interaction between you before sex?" Kate questioned, her head tilted just slightly to the side as she waited for Cuddy's reply.

She shook her head. "No, not really. I explained why Rachel was with but… that _first time_ he just followed my lead, I think. I was angry at him. I didn't want to talk. He… Sex with House was a means to an end. All it was meant to do was relieve my problem. I didn't _ask_ for anything more than that. I didn't… _want _anything more than that."

"You just wanted to have sex," Kate supplied.

Cuddy shifted uncomfortably in her chair but nodded her agreement with Kate's assessment.

"So, I don't want to make you uncomfortable, but I'm probably going to need to know about that in order to help you. If you feel comfortable enough, could you tell me about the sex?" Kate inquired, intentionally remaining still so as not to make Cuddy feel like Kate herself was uncomfortable knowing this. Sometimes patients seemed to fear her reaction and rather than assuming any discomfort she might show through an action or a motion stemmed from how she was seated or another external source, they always appeared to think it was internal discomfort from the subject matter. Considering the gravity of this subject in particular, it was especially important that she take care.

Cuddy worried her bottom lip with her teeth but then sat up a little straighter and quietly said, "I don't know what to tell you. The… sex itself was… _sex._ It was exactly what I wanted it to be. I mean, it _took care of _what I needed _taken care of_."

Knowing that this next part needed to be said but having no desire to share it, she squeezed her eyes shut before disclosing, "But I… while I was fully aware that I was having sex with House and had come to him with that intention, I wasn't _happy_ about having to come to him. I wanted to have sex but… It wasn't sex with _House _that I was after. And so I… I guess I was trying to fool myself into believing I was… having sex with Lucas, to… free myself to enjoy it. Because… I _did _enjoy it. I mean, in the sense that I… had an orgasm. I couldn't… _allow myself_ to enjoy sex with House. He was… _the enemy. _He was… who I blamed all my problems on. So… I did all I could to make it Lucas that I was having sex with."

The silence that fell at this disclosure had Cuddy shifting nervously in her seat. Not wanting to let the silence go too long though, Kate asked, "Did House know that you were imagining having sex with Lucas while the two of you were having sex?", voicing her question in a nonthreatening tone, not allowing her thoughts to get derailed into thinking of how she _never _would have imagined this day turning out to be such a challenge to her ability to just listen and ask questions.

Cuddy nodded, looking down before clarifying in a whisper, "Maybe not until I orgasmed but he knew when I… when I cried out… _Lucas's_ name."

She cringed once more but then tried to excuse what she'd done by saying, "I just wanted him to bring me to orgasm. That was all I asked. And I _only _said Lucas's name that first time."

"What did he say when he realized you were thinking about Lucas while having sex with him?" Kate asked without comment.

"He… just stopped. He didn't… finish himself. And I… got off him and left," she replied quietly.

Kate stared at her but then blinked and queried, "And you went back? This continued?"

Cuddy nodded hesitantly, stealing glances at Kate but just as quickly looking away, warring between wanting to see how Kate was reacting to what she had to say and knowing that there was no way her excuses would hold up if brought into question.

"But after the next time," she rushed to continue, the silence bothering her, "when he touched my belly, I… I made ground rules. I told him no kissing and that he wasn't to touch me except… to anchor me to him. I think House wanted to be gentle. Maybe he was concerned about the baby, I don't know. But he wouldn't go as hard or as fast as I wanted so I… I was on top from there on out, so that I could… control the pace."

"Did he respect your rules?" Kate asked, trying to cover how flabbergasted she was by this admission as she strove to keep her itching fingers relaxed where they lay in her lap. "He didn't touch or kiss you?"

Cuddy shook her head. "He… he never kissed me again. There… There was one time when he got up while I was dressing and wrapped his arms around me to place his hands on my belly, but I… I couldn't deal _with that_ and so… I told him _not to_."

"What happened after you had an orgasm?" Kate asked next, bewildered by how this could have successfully taken place between the two of them, and moreover, how she'd never seen this in all the time she and Lisa had been meeting.

"I left," she murmured simply.

"Every time? You never stayed the night?"

Cuddy once more shook her head.

Trying to get the wheels spinning for Cuddy and better gauge what Cuddy herself felt about all of this, Kate asked, "You never wanted to be close to him afterwards?"

"No, there was _no point_. We weren't a couple, Kate. He was just doing what I asked of him," Cuddy replied, a slight edge now entering her voice, defensiveness creeping up and into play.

"Did he orgasm after that first time?" Kate asked next, thinking this was probably going to be one of the most awful sexual histories she'd ever taken.

"Not the first time, but in the beginning, yes, he did. Then I started to gain weight and a couple months into it, he… had a hard time… finding my body to be enough of a stimulus, let alone finish. I don't think…" Cuddy began, her countenance dismal, "I don't think he was attracted to me anymore."

"You came to the conclusion that your weight gain was offensive to him? You thought he no longer wanted to be with you because of the changes your body was going through due to your pregnancy?" Kate probed, trying to follow Cuddy's thought process and that part of what she'd said, before tackling the rest.

She nodded, a single tear leaking from one eye which she quickly swatted away with one hand.

Kate slowly drew in a silent, deep breath and then released it. Working through Lisa's conclusion would have to wait for the moment. There were other things that needed to be expressed before she could comprehend the full picture. "But you continued to have sex I take it," she asked finally. "How?"

Cuddy looked away but after a moment resignedly explained, "After a week of him struggling, I went to the pharmacy and filled a prescription for Viagra."

Kate thought about this a moment, collecting her thoughts. "How did you two decide to use Viagra? How did that conversation go?"

"There was no conversation," Cuddy corrected, shaking her head. "I just got it and left it in his office on his chair for him."

Kate desperately wanted to rub a hand over her face in disbelief upon hearing this, but she somehow succeeded in restraining herself. "He never asked you to get the Viagra?" she asked to be certain.

"No," Cuddy answered, meeting her gaze. "It was just obvious that he needed it."

"But Lisa," Kate patiently began, "You didn't say anything to him first?"

Cuddy looked away, upset by the memory. Frustration now evident, she lifted a hand into the air and pointedly explained, "The night before I got the Viagra, I was over at his place. No matter how I tried to… stimulate him, I got no reaction. I was so… angry! I felt like he was being unfair in not responding. I finally yelled at him. He just… I couldn't believe he didn't want to have sex with me just because I'd gained weight due to a pregnancy _he_ forced me to remain in. I couldn't exactly believe House was that picky about who he had sex with, given his history. That… It was _personal_. I hated him for that."

"How did you try to stimulate him?" Kate asked without hesitation, suddenly understanding so much more than she ever could have before.

"I…" Cuddy frowned then. "Well, I… _you know_ how I tried to stimulate him. I mean, you can _conclude for yourself what I tried. _I used my hand to apply pressure and work his…"

"You thought that would solve the problem?" Kate pressed when her words dropped off.

"_I don't know!_" Cuddy declared defensively.

Detecting her obvious emotional state and that she felt cornered, Kate decided to regroup slightly. But she did wonder how anyone could be so clueless, not just about that but about the whole situation. Sometimes she knew people could miss things because of being too close to the situation. But this _had_ to go beyond that. And maybe that was because Lisa had been depressed and struggling with the situation she'd found herself in. All the same, at some point she would have to recognize that House's lack of responsiveness might have had more to do with the state of their relationship at that time, than with Lisa's body in its pregnant form.

"And after you yelled at him, he was able to pull himself together and respond sexually to you? Or did you go home without having sex?"

Cuddy slowly shook her head. Rubbing her face hard, she huffed and her shoulders hunched before she mumbled, "He flipped us over so I was under him and then he sat back and stimulated me with his fingers until I had an orgasm."

"And then you left?" Kate concluded for her.

Cuddy just nodded, having no intention of disclosing that she hadn't been all that kind about it.

"So then you dropped off the Viagra and how did he respond to that?" she inquired next.

"It worked. He was able to perform again."

Kate bobbed her head, acknowledging that in a way, that was an answer, though certainly not _exactly _what she'd been looking for. "Did either of you ever mention the Viagra?" she tried again.

"No," Cuddy said then. "Of course not. All I wanted was his problem solved. It was. And House wasn't going to bring it up. So no. It would have only served to upset me to have him vocalize his revulsion and… things were hard enough."

"And so things went back to how they'd been? You were back on top?" Kate clarified.

"Yes," Cuddy affirmed wearily.

"Did he orgasm with the Viagra?" Kate inquired, not wanting to miss a detail in case it was important.

Cuddy sighed but shook her head. "He pulled out as soon as I climaxed."

"You didn't try to fulfill his needs?"

"No. I know this sounds _awful_. I realize that I was very selfish about the whole thing. But _at the time_, I _wasn't there_ to see that _his needs_ were met. If he didn't want to orgasm, I wasn't going to try and force him to," she concluded.

Okay, so Lisa did feel some guilt about how she'd treated him sexually, in addition to how she'd treated him otherwise, Kate decided. But she doesn't really understand why any of this is important yet. I might have to go ahead and point it out. "Tell me about when you stopped having sex."

"Alright. My pregnancy was really starting to show and my body was changing a lot. I… with all my bad feelings about the pregnancy, I just started to feel… like I'd lost all my appeal. I… _I was disgusted _when I looked in the mirror. I wasn't sexy anymore. I was just this… whale. And House had no real interest in me. He was pulling out without getting any pleasure from it himself. That told me he wasn't really personally invested in the arrangement but only doing it to fulfill his… obligation to me. Clearly if it wasn't for the Viagra, he wouldn't even have been able to function. He just felt nothing for me anymore. Anyway, one time something happened with Rachel – she started to cry and he left to go check on her. There were times when I'd be there and Rachel would wake up so initially I tried to go to her and take care of her but… I couldn't calm her down. So House always had to intercede. It… made me feel incompetent. _That time_ I… broke down, both because I couldn't even do a good job being a mother to her and because House clearly was disgusted by me. He came back into the bedroom and reached for me as if to comfort me, but I… didn't let him. There were boundaries to be maintained. But we did have sex. After that night, I kept coming, but there were several times when I walked out of his apartment and felt like I was on the brink of falling apart. Around the sixth month of my pregnancy, I finally decided it was time to end it. I was depressed and my desire for sex was dropping off anyway. I went to his apartment one night and slipped an envelope with the key to his apartment, under his door. And I never went back," Cuddy concluded.

Kate opted to go back a moment. "When he walked back in and found you crying, why do you think he responded as he did? Why do you think he tried to comfort you?"

"He pitied me," she answered without even having to think about it first. "I was a mess."

"And if it wasn't pity? Why else might he have responded that way?"

Cuddy looked at Kate as if she had suddenly sprouted horns. "But it _was_ pity. I was pathetic."

Kate smiled gently then. "It hasn't occurred to you that he might have been trying to take care of you? You don't think it's possible that even in the midst of all that was going on, he still had feelings for you? That he still cared for you?"

"I don't think so, Kate," Cuddy replied, clearly irritated that Kate wasn't listening to her and understanding the situation accurately. "It was just sex; even to him by that time."

"Tell me, Lisa, who was the sex about?" she prompted quietly then.

Cuddy sighed and said, "I already admitted to you that it was all about me."

Kate nodded to appease her. "So let me just sum up what I've heard and you tell me if I'm right."

Cuddy nodded resignedly. "Fine."

"You went to House. You wanted sex. You wanted it in a particular way. He was not allowed to touch you. He was not allowed to kiss you. It had to be exactly the way you wanted it and it was never supposed to be about how he might have wanted it. When he wasn't capable of satisfying you physically-speaking, you reacted negatively. You yelled at him. But rather than yell back or kick you out or push you away, he took your anger and proceeded to find a way to bring you physical pleasure, even though I would guess that it undoubtedly cost him to do it. Then, rather than talking with him about his inability to respond physically to you, you took it into your own hands and dropped off a bottle of Viagra. He took the Viagra in order to satiate your needs, and though technically, he shouldn't have had a problem with ejaculation due to the Viagra, he still opted to just do what you wanted of him, nothing more. He wasn't asking anything from you in return. He wasn't trying to meet his own needs through you. In fact, he never tried to force you to do anything, outside of trying to ensure you'd remain pregnant and do no harm to the baby," she amended, seeing Cuddy about to protest. She knew she was being matter of fact but she honestly felt after the past several months of therapy, she needed to be.

"Then, when you understandably got worked up because you were depressed, couldn't help Rachel when she needed you, and generally felt undesirable, rather than ignoring it or walking away, he tried to hold you, offering you comfort and safety. But when you just wanted to continue, he allowed you to have your way without protest. And when you decided the arrangement you had with him was over, he respected that decision. Would that be accurate? Did I miss anything?"

Cuddy stared at her for a long time while Kate just waited patiently for her response. "You make it sound awful," she mumbled then.

"Lisa," Kate gently replied. "I don't need to make it sound awful. It was awful."

Cuddy's mouth tightened almost immediately and then, clearly upset with Kate, got up to leave, ready to be done, ready to get out.

"Lisa, don't leave," Kate said calmly before Cuddy could open the door to escape. "I'm not judging you. I'm just assessing the situation. You weren't happy. And if you weren't happy, it's safe to say House probably wasn't happy. I _can_ help you with this. But you are going to have to _trust me_. You are going to have to choose to stay when you just want to run away."

Cuddy paused at the door, her posture revealing that her backbone was up. Kate waited and after a minute or two, Cuddy deflated and turned around. "What are you trying to tell me?" Cuddy asked then, pleading with her to just get it over with.

"Will you come and sit back down with me?" Kate inquired, patting the seat beside her.

Cuddy closed her eyes then before nodding rather reluctantly, slowly making her way back to the chair and sinking into it.

"You want my opinion and I will give it to you," Kate began when Cuddy had sat back down. "But I can't say that it's accurate, because I'm not House. You'll have to weigh my words and decide for yourself whether or not I might be on the right track."

"Okay," Cuddy hesitantly agreed, nervously twisting her fingers.

"I think that when House says he loves you, he means it. I can't imagine you'd be living with him if he didn't. And maybe, I don't know, _maybe_ there are times when he would like to be intimate with you. Maybe there_ was_ something in his look the other day. It's possible. But I would hazard a guess that the arrangement you two made took a toll on him as well." She looked to Lisa for affirmation that she could continue before doing so.

Taking a breath, she leaned slightly in towards Lisa and revisited their past conversations by saying, "House agreed to the arrangement to protect your baby, but didn't he also protect _you_ by keeping you from having the abortion? You said yourself once before that you wouldn't have been able to live with yourself if you'd had the abortion. The situation made it difficult. But the situation proved not to be insurmountable. You love that baby now. In the end, House quite possibly protected you from yourself. Isn't that what you've told me before?"

Kate paused, allowing Lisa time to consider it if she needed to. But Cuddy didn't have to think it over. She knew it was true. She nodded without hesitation.

"Now, going back to the intimacy issue, you must know that you used him to fulfill your needs. He has to know that too. Maybe that was something he could agree to and do it without issue for a while. But when there are rules to it that forbid him from touching you in any way other than to spur you on, there's no intimacy there. In the case of your arrangement, sex was just sex. But he didn't just want sex from you. He loved you. However, you didn't allow him to connect with you. You didn't choose to connect with him. Everything was according to you and you… were angry. There was no love involved. There was no tenderness. Whatever relationship you two had at one point, by this time had been dissolved. You've criticized him before regarding his penchant for illicit activity, especially regarding his use of prostitutes. You told me not so long ago that one of your concerns in moving in was that he'd have prostitutes over or other women in the house and you couldn't handle that. But you also told me he assured you he didn't participate in that lifestyle anymore and it wouldn't be an issue. Why do _you _think he stopped using prostitutes?" Kate hesitated but finally she looked at Cuddy sadly and asked, "Lisa, didn't you yourself use House during your pregnancy as if his sole value was in bringing you fulfillment? Isn't that an awful lot like what he used to do with those women he paid?"

Cuddy had begun to cry silently and so Kate waited for a moment before asking if she wanted her to stop.

"No," Cuddy finally managed to mumble, shaking her head as she wiped at her tears. "I don't want to think about this. I don't want to _see it this way_. I don't want to… I _know_ that I've hurt him but… I don't want to _see myself in this light_. I don't want to hear _any of this_, but… I've avoided talking about this for _months, _for a _reason._ This conversation was never going to make me feel good about… myself. And yet, if this is how House might feel, I… need to hear it and… face it at some point. He'd… never _choose _to reveal how I've hurt him… The times he has have happened in moments when I've… cornered him. And yet, there _is _obviously still a lot that is between us, remaining unsaid."

Kate nodded, feeling for her. "I can't say that this is how he feels. But I agree with you. There are some big issues here that neither one of you have brought up and talked about."

Kate waited another moment before she inhaled and then went on. "I think it's also important, even while it's bound to be painful to hear, for you to recognize that when he physically couldn't do what you wanted of him, you blamed him, yelling at him. I would hazard a guess that he already felt embarrassed. When it comes to sexual dysfunction, men have an extremely hard time distancing themselves from the problem to deal with it. It's a pretty typical reaction actually; to feel emasculated. They suddenly think they are less than who they are supposed to be; like they are no longer real men because of their inability to perform sexually. If House felt that way, you yelling at him was _not_ going to solve the problem. It was only going to worsen it. Shaming someone for something they can't control only degrades them. And then I would guess he might have felt further ridiculed by your actions, without that being your intention, by dropping off Viagra – a quick fix to a _real_ problem, with _real_ causes. Lisa, you had already rejected him. You chose Lucas. And then when you slept with him only to chase after Lucas again, it was just one more rejection. You were pregnant. You rejected the baby. House's baby. And yet House kept putting himself in a position to allow you to reject him again. Calling out Lucas's name while having sex with House – _preference _for someone else being in his place – for _imagining _someone you'd _rather have been with _than House; that's rejection. Don't you think that the addition of sexual dysfunction to the mix could have only served to crush him further? We aren't just looking at him being _unwilling _to be with you, anymore. Nor are we talking about the shape your body is or _was in. _If this is an accurate picture of the situation and truly represents what House might be feeling, we are talking about a man who isn't lying when he says that he _can't._ I don't know but I don't see why he'd start lying now. If what happened between you two reached the point where he is no longer able to function sexually, even after all these months, that is a _real _problem. Not an excuse or an attempt to spare your feelings. That is the result of a _lot _of climactic events affecting him across the board."

Cuddy was in no condition to respond, too crushed by how much worse things were than she'd ever expected, to even break down and sob. Her heart had never felt so heavy as it did in that moment, with perhaps the exception of what House had disclosed that night in the kitchen when he'd listed off all the things she'd done and said while pregnant, comparing himself to something she'd intentionally and gleefully crushed under her shoe. But the only reason she could make that exception was because she'd had to hear it from him. And now a more accurate representation of how she'd destroyed him had been spread out before her. Only she hadn't had to hear it from him this time, seeing before her a man who had suffered excruciatingly at her hands as he recounted just how she'd destroyed him.

Lisa," Kate said gently, interrupting her thoughts. "This isn't something you are going to be able to solve overnight. There is no quick fix."

"So what do I do?" she brokenly asked, hardly managing the volume to be heard.

Kate thought about it for some time before answering. "Well, I think you have to at least offer him an opportunity to express himself. And I am not at all saying that he'll want to talk about it, because he no doubt feels ashamed, _nor_ that he has to, because that is up to _him_. You can't force him to talk about this. But you might want to make it clear that you will listen if he does want to clear the air. I would suggest you take responsibility for your actions and acknowledge that all that you asked of him is something you can no longer justify. Then, honestly, I'd respect his wishes and not push him in the direction of sex. I would take sex off the docket completely. There's so much you have to work through to rebuild before sex would even be an option. Before a pursuit in that direction would be plausible. But Lisa," she added. "There are other _ways_ to build intimacy between you and I would think that if you pursued them, it might help you both to draw closer, assuming he wishes to be close to you. I'm not talking about manipulation. I would seriously discourage you from doing anything that might at all appear manipulative. But I think you need to work for this, if you genuinely do love him and want to be with him. I think you have to show that in ways that have nothing to do with sex. House can't be your outlet. His value can't be found in bringing you sexual satisfaction. He needs and _deserves_ to be _more_ than that to you. He will forever hold you at a distance if what you seem to want is something impossible for him to deliver."

Cuddy nodded. "I… want to be with House. I've… made it about sex lately but it really isn't that at all. It's just that I feel clueless as to how to show him how much I love him and want to be with him, outside of through sex. Sex and sexual tension has just always been… one of the ways we've connected."

"And that does make it complicated," Kate agreed. "But for the next few weeks I'm going to give you a homework assignment. I want you to focus on showing him that you care. Ask him about his day, talk to him about the baby, Rachel, life in general, etc. Find ways to show him that you've been thinking about him. Show him affection when you get the chance and have the inclination. If he pulls away, respect that and allow him to do that without feeling like you are upset with him over it. Respect is probably the top-most important thing you can show him, because it's been an issue. But with affection, start out small and see how he reacts. Allow your hand to touch his arm when you are talking. Stroke his face if the moment is right. Run your fingers through his hair. Rub his shoulders if he's had a hard day. Hug him. You get the general idea. But _don't_ make it sexual and whatever you do, don't let things be about you. Keep things focused on him or on the both of you and making sure that he is comfortable with where things go. Then, after a week, come back and see me and we'll talk some more. You can't undo the past, Lisa. But you can do things in the present to limit the impact the past has on the future and to try and help the healing process along, even if his healing isn't something _you _can take control of bringing into being."

"Alright," Cuddy agreed, sighing over all the mistakes she'd made of late.

"Do you think you can do this?" Kate asked her then, wanting to make sure she was comfortable with it as well or it would never work.

"Yes," she replied without hesitation. "I just…I wish I could go back and change things."

"You can't," Kate admitted sympathetically. "But you have to realize that the past is the past. You have to forgive yourself too. Lisa, you weren't well. You were dealing with the break-up of a relationship you had expected to have for the rest of your life; you were pregnant at a time when you weren't ready for another life to consider; you felt trapped with no way of escape and for you, it was what closed the door on the future you wanted. Of course you made bad decisions. But Lisa, you aren't back there anymore. You can move forward now. And if House wants to be there with you, then he's going to have to come to a point when he can move forward as well. But you can't push him into that. You can only encourage him through your words and actions. You can also show him that you aren't who you were then."

"Kate, this morning… when he was upset… when I…," Cuddy attempted to say, horrified with herself now. "I'm just not so sure he's going to want _anything _to do with me for awhile."

Kate sighed and reached for another tissue to pass to her as the tears started flowing again. "You really need to talk to him, Lisa," she said softly. "You need to humbly apologize and acknowledge that you were wrong. But if he pushes you away, you can't push back. You have to let him be in control of things for once."

Cuddy nodded, getting to her feet, knowing that their time was long since past. "I… Thank you, Kate. I… don't think I would have been able to recognize any of this without you. I think I would have continued to… make the situation _worse._ Assuming he let me stick around much longer. But if you… hadn't made me confront… this, eventually I would have made an even bigger mess of things."

"Yeah, we are great at that, aren't we?" Kate said sympathetically then. "_'Oh, the webs we weave.'_"

Cuddy took a deep breath. "Um… I will see you next week?" she queried hesitantly.

"Absolutely," Kate agreed.

Cuddy managed a tremulous smile and nodded slightly, before turning and walking out the door, pulling it closed behind her.

Kate untucked herself from her chair, stretching before moving behind her desk to sit down. She put her feet up on the desk and reclined, throwing her head back to stare at the ceiling a moment since she had perhaps ten minutes at most before her next patient. Rubbing at her eyes tiredly, she couldn't help thinking it had been a _very long_ day and it wasn't even over yet. She only hoped her next patient would come with a less complicated problem than the ones Lisa Cuddy brought her.

* * *

"_**Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah**_

_**Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah**_

_**Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah**_

_**Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah**_

_**It's gonna take a lotta love  
To change the way things are  
It's gonna take a lotta love  
Or we won't get too far  
So if you're looking in my direction  
And we don't see eye to eye  
My heart needs protection and so do I**_

_**It's gonna take a lotta love**_  
_**To make it thru the night**_  
_**Yeah, it's gonna take a lotta love**_  
_**Or we won't work out right**_  
_**So I hope you're out there waitin' (hope you're out there waitin')**_  
_**Oh I hope you show up soon (I hope you show up soon)**_  
_**'Cause my heart needs relating, not solitude**_  
_**Ooh, ooh, ooh**_

_**It's gonna take a lotta, lotta love**_  
_**It's gonna take a lotta love**_  
_**It's gonna take a lotta love**_  
_**It's gonna take a lotta love (lotta love)**_  
_**It's gonna take a lotta love (lotta love)**_

_**Lotta love, (lotta love) lotta love (lotta love)**_

_**Lotta love, (lotta love) lotta love (lotta love)**_

_**Gonna take a lotta love, (lotta love) lotta love (lotta love)**_

_**A lotta love (lotta love)"**_

* * *

Song: "Lotta Love" (She & Him)


	97. Elephants

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Okay, I'm actually giving you two chapters today. But that's NO EXCUSE not to review each one! Let me know what you think!)_

* * *

Cuddy spent the rest of her day at the park where she'd often come in the past to hunt down House when he'd gone missing, sitting on top of a picnic table, staring out at the water, the wind that was all that remained of yesterday's storm other than the still overcast sky, whipping her hair about her face. Silent tears streaked down her cheeks but she had come prepared for that, Kleenex and all, though she had yet to do something about it, too lost in thought.

Kate's summary of all that she had shared had of course been hard to hear. There was something about hearing _someone else _say it that… that crystallized that which she'd only seen from her perspective, despite all that had been said between her and House the weekend of his mother's visit. And yet Kate's summary ended up being _nothing _when compared to the onslaught of every detailed memory she had from living it herself, which she now relived, no longer able to compact them into abbreviated snapshots of scenery, just for counseling purposes – the CLEAN edited version, at least in comparison – the one that didn't cover up her humanity but which nevertheless lacked the _RAW _quality of just how far she'd gone in her blood thirst to destroy House while her own walls came crashing down about her. What made it all the worse, and it had been _bad enough, _was KNOWING her memories were probably somewhat distorted, first by her perception and then further by her illness at the time, her depression perhaps having erasing details that she'd never thought anything about at the time. She might have watered things down and dismissed others, but House, _being House_, would have lived these memories, breathed them, soaked up & absorbed them, and then repeated them over and over inside his head due to his obsessive nature, until everything she'd ever said was ingrained into every pore as the _truth_ of who he'd been in her eyes & _might still be_, the ghost who lived to haunt him and taunt him, to remind and belittle and drive the knife she'd stabbed him with, in a little deeper. It… It added a whole new dimension to what he'd said that night in the kitchen when it was just the two of them, his words now coming to her as if it had just happened a minute ago.

"_You want me to believe that you love me… that you've loved me all along. But guess what? I can't look back and see that anywhere. All I see… all I hear… all I experience is memories of how you didn't love me… how you in fact, despised me. I wasn't just something to be scraped from the bottom of your shoe. I was something to be stomped upon while laughing maniacally until I was most assuredly dead, ground up until even my organs were nothing more than smears, and then scraped off with disgust at having dirtied a good pair of shoes in the process."_

_Dear God,_ it was horrifying to relive his expression now and take in an even greater picture of _everything _than she'd seen then! And adding a new dimension of sadness to it was that it also deepened her understanding of why he was so adamant that she not ever mention Lucas, nor discuss her feelings for Lucas, with him.

Everybody had regrets, she knew. But sometimes the regrets one had to live with had such a profound impact that they forever changed you _and_ your path. But Cuddy wasn't thinking so much of her regrets. Well, perhaps she was but not specifically about _her_ having to live with them, though there was no denying she would. No, instead she was agonized over how House had to live bearing the burden that took the shape of all that made up her deepest regrets. And if this morning when he'd said that he couldn't – that it wasn't _her _but _him, _that statement that she'd reacted so poorly to – if _couldn't _carried with it the significance that he was truly no longer able to…, then she'd completely altered everything for him in ways she'd never given half a thought to, in _all this time. _And… the AUDACITY she'd had this morning to _demand _he tell her _why _he wouldn't have sex with her was… not just _absurd _or _insupportable, _but _absolutely inexcusable. _Her entry into his private bathroom, violating his space, forcing herself upon _him _as she _had…_, it went _beyond _heinous. Every… Every _time _she exposed him to her all-consuming desire for him, made a production of it, even… just _mentioning _it, she… was _inflicting him all over again, _poking a sharp stick just where it would be felt the deepest. That it was unintentional did not make any difference. She'd made _such _a big deal about her desire for him and his unwillingness to reciprocate – faulted him for it even. But whatever "suffering" she'd gone through in wanting to be with him so badly, before her eyes were forced open, it didn't amount to a ripple on the water when viewed in light of the murky ocean waters in the midst of a tropical storm making up House's… situation. And suddenly it seemed all the more selfish of her to be sitting here, bathing herself in the reality of the mess she'd made, when what she needed to do _now _ought to take precedence. Only… she didn't _know _what she needed to do now. Two hours and fifteen minutes with Kate today reworking her thoughts regarding this portion of the past didn't _nearly _touch the magnitude of the issue here. But… while she didn't know _what _was needed of her, she did know it was time to go home. And the road of _whatever_ would be required of her from now on, could _only _start in an admission of how very wrong she'd been, hoping that she would receive unmerited mercy and yet another chance to do right by him.

* * *

Cuddy got home shortly before five and started preparing dinner, cooking House's favorite not to butter him up but because she was so desperate to do better from here on out, _however _she could. It was obvious to her that she was nervous about how he would respond to her when he came home, whether he'd give her an opportunity to speak or shut her up or… kick her out, but she didn't want to allow the unknown to control her either, so she made sure to do whatever she could to keep busy as she awaited him.

Halfway through her dinner preparations the doorbell rang, startling her into realizing that the swing set was supposed to be delivered today and yet she hadn't been home as she was supposed to be, to do whatever the company needed her to. It was rather late in the day to be installing a swing set though, she thought to herself. However, when Cuddy answered the door she found that the _last person_ she expected to see standing there… had Rachel with her.

Cuddy stared at Cameron in confusion before finally reaching for Rachel, not knowing what to say and certainly not what to think.

"House asked me to bring her home," Cameron said in reply to Cuddy's unspoken question. "I have Elliot in the car so I can't leave him alone for too long but I'll set her car seat by the garage for you."

Cuddy's expression had fallen when Cameron informed her of House's request, her eyes briefly shutting in pain before she looked away. The message he'd left with the front desk had said Rachel would be brought home. It hadn't specified by who. She had just assumed… Finally she nodded in acceptance, it also finally occurring to her that it _was_ Wednesday after all and he _wouldn't _be home for dinner anyway. Perhaps… perhaps he had asked Cameron to bring Rachel home because he knew Cuddy would want to talk but that he didn't have time to do so. Could that be it? Had he just been looking for a small reprieve?

Cameron looked at her for a second longer but then focused her attention on Rachel. "I'll see you later, okay?" she said, bending down slightly while waving, receiving a soft smile from Rachel in reply who was now leaning into her mommy, head tucked in the curve of her neck, currently a very calm version of the normally boisterous little girl who raced into the house the minute she got home, ready and willing to share all about her day.

Cameron started to turn away but Cuddy couldn't help herself. "Did he say anything?" she asked before she could hold her anxiety in check, cringing at the last moment at the note of desperation quite evident in her tone. She didn't know what she thought he could possibly have said but… maybe he had passed on _some kind of message _for Cameron to give her and she'd… forgotten or something.

Cameron paused, turning back to her, but shook her head.

"Okay, thanks, Cameron," Cuddy said softly, sighing slightly unbeknownst to herself as she looked down at the planks of the porch.

Cameron nodded and went to leave but then stopped, turning back to Cuddy. "Listen, I don't know what happened but… he was _miserable_ today. Cuddy, I'm sure you think it's none of my business what happens between you two, but I've been there to see him go through some low lows and I just want you to know, _I'll kill you_ if you break him again. He _doesn't_ deserve it. He's suffered _enough_. And while _I understand_ that he wants you to be involved in Evie's life, I'm not so convinced your presence is in _his_ best interests after everything that you've put him through. So _don't _mess this up. Because I _will_ come after you if you hurt him again," she somberly informed her, her eyes deadly serious.

Cuddy stared at her, the message coming across loud and clear. If Cameron had come to her yesterday, she would have gotten in her face for involving herself in what Cuddy felt only involved _House and herself_. But after her conversation with Kate today and all that she'd finally come to understand of just what she'd done to House, she didn't have any fight in her. She broke eye contact after a second but then nodded slightly in acceptance of what Cameron had said, not challenging her right to speak out in House's defense. Cameron had _no clue_ just what all she had done to him. Cuddy was sure of that. And yet her words were right on target. Cuddy couldn't find fault with them.

Cameron looked at her a moment longer but then turned and descended the steps, heading back to her car, Cuddy stepping back inside and shutting the door softly behind her before leaning back upon the door, allowing Rachel down when she wiggled before dropping her head back against the wood, eyes staring up at the ceiling.

Five minutes later she heard Cameron's car pull out of the drive. Cuddy sighed, too many thoughts racing through her mind for her to actually focus on _any _of them, before she pushed away from the door to check in on Rachel, knowing there was really no point in finishing dinner when she had no appetite and Rachel would prefer macaroni and cheese.

* * *

House had told Cameron that he had an appointment tonight, which he did. But the truth was that he had _no intention_ of going. This_… issue of his _was not on his list of discussable topics and… he didn't want to have to talk about Cuddy tonight either. He knew he ought to have called ahead to cancel. But… he really didn't want to risk having to speak with Nolan. Instead he called the front desk five minutes after he was normally supposed to show up, giving them the message but hanging up before they could patch him through. At least he wouldn't exactly waste Nolan's time this way, making him sit, waiting, for House to never even show up.

With that done, House shut off his cell, not wanting to be bothered by _anyone. _Then he drove awhile until he was an hour from home, finding a small diner to stop in, grateful that Evie had been content to drive, babbling to herself but otherwise, not making a peep.

He needed to do some processing. And… he needed to figure out what he was going to do _tonight_. But he also had to think of the future. Even if it pained him to do so.

* * *

Cuddy scrubbed a hand over her face for the third time in the last twenty minutes. It was already passed Rachel's bedtime and she had waited a little, giving in when Rachel pleaded to wait for daddy. She hadn't said anything more about this morning but she _had _cried that daddy hadn't come to visit her at naptime, which honestly, kinda did tug on Cuddy's heartstrings a bit, despite knowing Rachel wouldn't _always _be able to see House each day. Yet when he still hadn't showed up by 9:30 and Rachel was _obviously overtired, _she gave up on waiting for him and told Rachel that she'd send him in when he got home.

That hadn't quite gotten her very far.

"Me no wanna go to bed," Rachel grumpily told her, her little eyes narrowed and her lips pouting as she glared up at Cuddy with her head lowered slightly.

"Rachel," Cuddy rebuked softly. "I'm sorry but you _have_ to go to bed. You need to get some sleep."

Rachel sniffed only to have her face fall the next moment, letting out a wail. "But I want daddy to tuck me in," she cried, those hot crocodile tears slipping and sliding down her cheeks a second before she surprised Cuddy completely, throwing herself down on the floor and kicking her legs in a temper tantrum.

Cuddy had _never _seen Rachel do that before and it took her a second to react but then she heaved her up into her arms, carrying her upstairs, Rachel howling the whole way. Sitting down with her on Rachel's bed, she held her close, shushing her, until Rachel eased up on her desire to fight and just cried. Within ten minutes, she was out. Thankfully she was already in her pajamas, so all Cuddy had to do was slide the blankets back and lay her down, but then she closed her eyes, sighing wearily at all the emotion that 24 hours could contain, before covering Rachel up and smoothing her hair back, gently wiping the trace of tears from Rachel's now more peaceful face.

* * *

Erika opened her door at 10:30 that night, quickly taking in House's expression and reading his abject misery as he held Evie out for her and mumbled, "Can we crash here?"

She nodded, trying her best to mask her surprise, before taking the baby from him to carry upstairs to her bedroom, lying her down on the bed while House went off in the opposite direction to peer into her fridge and grab something to drink.

"I was going to get a hotel room for the night but… I have to go home tomorrow morning eventually anyway," he somberly informed her when she entered the kitchen a couple minutes later, coming to stand at the counter beside him where he stood drinking his Coke.

"It's not a problem," she quickly dismissed.

House turned his head slightly to glance at her, one eyebrow raised slightly as one corner of his mouth twitched. "Wilson's not planning on spending the night?" he asked then.

Erika's eyes opened wider at discovering he knew her secret but had never said anything, and then she bit her lip, a small smile playing on her lips before admitting, "He got called in an hour ago."

House made a noise that sounded somewhat like a chuckle but made no further comment.

She was tempted to ask him how he'd known but then figured it was probably obvious just how he'd known. House… didn't usually miss much. Instead she asked pointedly, "Running away from home?"

"I'm a cripple," he sardonically replied. "We make it a policy _not _to run."

Leaning to the side to bump into him in response, she muttered, "_Fine_. Are you _avoiding _going home _for a reason_ or did you just really feel like a slumber party tonight?"

Smiling slightly, he whined dramatically, "_What?_ You don't _want _to have a slumber party with me?"

And then she too smiled. "Are you going to let me do your hair and paint your toenails?" she asked eagerly, doing her best to look uber excited.

"Not a chance," he dryly shot down.

Pushing off the counter then, she turned to him, wrapping her arms around him in a hug, sighing against his shoulder.

"What was that all about?" he asked dubiously when she released him, stepping away.

Erika just shrugged. "You're here," was all she said in reply.

House nodded but looked away, serious once more.

"Wanna talk?" she asked then. "I'll even go out and sit on that ratty futon of mine for you."

He harrumphed, hesitating, but then shrugged and turned, mutely leading the way with Coke in hand.

"Did you come from next door or are you just coming home?" she inquired next as she tried to get comfortable beside him, not missing his momentary amusement at how difficult it seemed to be for her to get settled in one spot.

House brought a hand up to his head, raking his hair and leaving it standing up in spots unbeknownst to him in a way that was extremely endearing in Erika's eyes, before quietly admitting, "Just coming home."

"Did something happen?" she asked next, willingly leading him along in conversation.

House heaved out a breath but then muttered, "Yeah," leaving it at that.

She kind of figured there was a reason why he was being so difficult, but didn't really know what she was supposed to say to get him to open up. Instead she just fell silent, deciding maybe she could wait him out.

It was a long time before House spoke next, the silence stretching between them as they both just sat there, House staring straight ahead and Erika eventually giving in to the temptation to lean into him more, resting her head against his shoulder.

"I don't want to talk about it," he mumbled gruffly.

Erika couldn't help the slight emission of ironic bemusement that bubbled from her. "Well, _you_ came _here_," she pointed out.

House didn't reply.

Taking a deep breath, she readjusted her head on his shoulder to look up at his profile before asking, "So do you just want to go to bed then?"

"With you?" he queried, an eyebrow raised, his eyes once more amused.

"I think James would have something to say about that," she remarked wryly, giving him another smile.

But House made no move to leave the couch.

"House, just tell me," Erika murmured softly after another minute had passed.

"_No_," he huffed, looking away from her once more.

Erika sighed dramatically but then replied resignedly, "Then give me a good reason why you won't."

House frowned but finally mumbled honestly, "I don't want you to… think less of me."

"Seriously?" she challenged, an eyebrow arched. "You think there is something that you can tell me that will make me think less of you? I kind of thought you'd received an exemption long ago from _ever _being at risk of my high opinion of you changing."

When House _still _didn't respond, she pointedly argued, "How bad can it really be?"

House just gave her a look, as if it could be pretty darn bad.

"What? Did you kill someone?" she joked.

House shot her a droll look now, his mouth pursing. "I'm a doctor," he dryly retorted. "I've probably killed a few people; either by taking their case or rejecting it." Contemplating it a moment longer, his forehead scrunching up in thought, he deflected further by adding, "Probably _lots _of people."

Erika stared at him, determined not to roll her eyes. Finally she tipped her head in acknowledgement that he was probably right but then said nothing more as she reworked how to get him to open up to her.

"Tell me about your patient," she instructed out of the blue.

"_What _patient?" he asked, looking at her as if she'd lost it.

"The patient," she calmly replied with a shrug. "The one with the problem. The one who can't go home."

Seeing what she was doing, he shot a look at her, his eyes narrowing, but at her innocent and open expression his mouth firmed into a line as he contemplated what she was offering him. Oddly enough, in his _own opinion,_ instead of turning her down, he argued, "It's confidential information. Unless this is a consult, I can't tell you anything."

Erika nodded. "This is _definitely _a consult and patient-confidentiality will be respected to the _utmost degree_. I swear it," she added quite seriously. "You have my word. Nothing you say will leave the horribly uncomfortable cushions of this futon."

House exhaled through his nose, shaking his head at her comment about the futon but then sunk into his seat a bit more, his head falling back on the cushion behind him to stare up at the ceiling as he pursed his lips and reluctantly drew another breath in. Talking in third person and in medical terms whenever possible, he little by little launched into his first retelling ever of _exactly _what had taken place during Cuddy's pregnancy, how it had _affected_ _the patient, _and what had happened that morning to prompt the wary patient into coming to see _him_ in the first place, leading to this consult. And Erika listened without interruption, except for the few times she had to prompt him with a carefully chosen, uncomplicated question about the patient in order to assist him in recounting it impersonally, never allowing her emotions to be conveyed via her voice.

When it was all out there, House fell silent and Erika waited only a moment before in a tone of utmost curiosity and amazement, she inquired, "Do you know there are people out there who get turned on by having a dentist's latex-covered fingers in their mouth?"

House almost choked as he inhaled his disbelief, sitting up straighter to turn and stare at her, his expression reflecting how bizarre her question was in this moment.

"I'm serious," she continued. "There are actually people like that."

"What does _that_ have to do with…?" he began in bemusement, only to shake his head a second later and demand, "Are you _suggesting_… the patient should _go to the dentist_ and see if that takes care of his _problem?_ Is that _seriously _the most appropriate course of action you can come up with? I know you're a dentist and not a doctor but…"

Erika laughed at the look on his face, scorn practically oozing out of him, before he realized she was playing with him, easing some of the tension from his body with her out-of-the-blue commentary. "I just think that's really odd," she added with a half-shrug, content that their first real eye contact after everything that had been said was one in which no hint of shame had to cross his expression, as it probably would have been followed by the protective measures he would have then taken in order to push her away.

Rolling his eyes now, House turned back into the couch and fell back against it, Erika giving him a bit more space now.

"What does the patient want to do?" she nonchalantly inquired.

"What _do_ _you _think the patient should do?" he redirected back to her, finally giving himself permission to establish direct eye contact rather than stealing another glance at her as he'd been doing throughout the patient history, now more at ease in how she had never seemed to react in a way that could have ruined things for them.

But Erika shook her head. "I don't know that it matters what I think," she admitted easily. "I think the patient already knows what he wants to do. And since it happened to him, I think he's the only one qualified to make a decision."

His thoughts going back to her dentist-directed fetish commentary, he suddenly surprised the both of them by asking, "Would you… suggest I send him for a second opinion on his… _physical_ condition?"

Erika's eyes opened slightly wider but then she frowned before admitting honestly, "It doesn't seem to me that the patient came to you looking for a solution to his physical condition. I think when he's ready to go down that road, he'll come to you and you can discuss the options. Right now and from what you've told me, the issue at hand is more on the home base and what he's going to do about his living situation."

House slowly nodded. He… had intentionally backed away from relating what had happened with Rachel, because… he'd already known that Erika wouldn't easily accept his decision on that account and he supposed he was looking for… someone to support the decision he _knew _he'd already made. But if he'd already decided, why had he bothered to go into all this with her in the first place? he tried to muddle out. And then he knew why. Guys didn't talk to guys about this kind of… stuff. They bragged about their sexual prowess or how many orgasms their girlfriends had had the night before or… _whatever_, but _not _about their… shortcomings in performance. It was like an unspoken guy code. Which was why he'd been so against meeting with Nolan today. Nolan would know something was up and bug him until House either left or caved. By not going, he'd left Nolan without an explanation or even a hint of what was going on, and therefore, if he _did _go back next week, and right now he couldn't say that he would, if _he did _he could make up any excuse he wanted to.

But why open up to _Erika? _He couldn't escape asking himself this question, delving into his motivation for doing so. And then the simple answer hit him. If he'd gone home and Cuddy had been waiting for him, he'd have to face her. And if she knew, he'd have to face _that_ but if she didn't… he might be forced into telling her. And so… he had come looking for someone he… trusted – someone… _female, _to… test-drive on. He'd had much more confidence in Erika than he'd… even _been consciously aware of. _Not that she hadn't passed her share of House-related tests in the time they'd known each other. And it wasn't that he expected her reaction and that of Cuddy to be_ anything_ _alike_. It wasn't that at all. But… telling her and having her… _not _freak out on him, somehow gave him a little more strength to do or say whatever he'd have to when it came down to a confrontation with Cuddy. And that was where he found himself once more amazed at… just how much he _did _appreciate the relationship he'd found in Erika. She… hadn't judged him, nor had she pitied him. She'd been objective and unemotional. And she hadn't run off at the first hint of his… _problems, _nor tried to solve them. She'd just… _listened. _And what was probably more astonishing, he had _talked._

Scratching the scruff on his chin absentmindedly, he finally brought his eyes to hers. "I'm going to send her home," he said evenly then.

And Erika just met his eyes and nodded calmly after a moment, not asking for an explanation for his decision. "Okay," she simply agreed.

* * *

Cuddy was up in her room when she heard the garage door go up and knew that House was home. She glanced at her clock and took in the fact that it was just after midnight. She debated for quite a while about whether to go to him or just wait but in the end, the truth was that she more than owed him an apology and although she owed him one that would take hours to do properly, she also felt strongly about speaking to him as soon as possible. But first she needed to start by acknowledging that this morning she _had _only been thinking of herself, as he'd accused her, and she was terribly sorry for that.

Slipping out of her room, she prayed that he'd give her half a chance before going to find him.

House carried Evie to her room, making his way to the crib to place her gently within, brushing a curl aside before stroking her little cheek with a finger. He had truly planned on spending the night at Erika's as long as she had been agreeable to it, camping out in her living room or in the guest room upstairs. But once their talk was over, he'd seen no point. By now, Cuddy was probably asleep and Rachel _surely was, _so there was no real reason _not _to go home. Besides, if he was going to end up talking to Cuddy in the morning anyway, he might as well get what sleep he could in his own bed, where he knew he'd be most comfortable.

Turning after a moment of watching Evie sleep, he switched on the baby monitor and then headed out of her room, shutting the door behind him before pausing at the bottom of the stairs. Taking a left turn, he went to the hallway closet, removing his shoes and placing them within before he returned to the stairwell, quietly making the climb, hoping not to awaken anyone if he was careful enough. Reaching the top, he hesitated only briefly before taking the few short steps required to find himself in Rachel's doorway. He stood there for a moment, watching her sleep, aware that she was completely out of it before he gave himself permission to go in. Standing beside her bed seconds later, he frowned, lost in his thoughts, before he finally leaned over to move her hair out of her face, tucking the blanket more securely around her thereafter.

Even if she was asleep, he would have liked to be able to reassure her, about _everything. _But his throat was clogged with indecipherable emotion and so he just watched her until finally he thought he'd stayed too long. However, when he went to leave, he found himself rooted to the floor. At the very least she deserved an apology. He _had_ failed her. And an apology was something he'd never been given as a kid so it felt all the more necessary.

Puffing out a breath, he closed his eyes for a second before turning back to her, slowly lowering himself to the floor beside her bed, not wanting to put his weight on her bed frame and chance waking her and… scaring her again. Rubbing a hand raggedly over the scruff on his face, he lowered his gaze to her, gruffly managing in a whisper, "I'm sorry kid. I never wanted you to have to be scared of me."

Not knowing what else to say, he started to lean forward to give her one last kiss goodnight, stopping himself before he did so. She didn't need his kisses anymore. Kissing her now… would be more for _his _sake than hers. Swallowing the knot in his throat, he tore his eyes from her. Now it really _was _time to leave her room. Getting to his feet slowly, massaging his thigh once he was upright, he reluctantly turned and headed out, noticing Cuddy's presence in the doorway seconds before he would have run into her.

Cuddy had intended to go track him down but found him in passing Rachel's room instead. When she happened upon him he was down beside Rachel's bed, and while she hadn't heard his words to Rachel, she hadn't missed the saddened, apologetic quality to his low tone nor the way he'd leaned in to kiss Rachel and then thought better of it.

"You can kiss her goodnight," Cuddy whispered to him when his eyes met hers for a brief second, mistaking his reason for not doing so. "She's down for the count. You won't wake her."

House's mouth tightened but he just shook his head before brushing past her to get to the stairs.

"House," she murmured softly. But he didn't stop. Cuddy watched him go, hesitating a moment before opting to follow him, knowing that some things needed to be said right away, even as late as it was and as little as she bet he wanted to be around her.

She found him in the kitchen, filling a glass with water.

"House," she tried again, licking her lips first.

He set the now half-empty glass down on the counter and placed his hands on each side of the sink, not turning around. There were two conversations that he didn't want to have with her. That was reality and it had quickly come back to him upon seeing her. But only one of those conversations was avoidable. The other… well, he'd have to have it with her sooner or later. Might as well get it out of the way.

"This isn't working," he began evenly, not facing her. "And I've been doing a lot of thinking today. Cuddy, I think it would be better if you moved out."

Cuddy gasped, not out of shock at the request so much but just in hearing it expressed all the same. "But I don't want to move out," she couldn't help but murmur in choked sorrow, tears already filling her eyes.

House made no response, not even turning around to look at her, and Cuddy squeezed her eyes closed, her chest aching as she swayed slightly on her feet. Finally she opened her eyes and nodded resignedly, her desire to respect his wishes at the present outweighing all within her that wanted to fight him on this one. "When do you want me gone by?" she managed to ask with only the smallest hitch in her voice.

"I think tomorrow would be best," he said only a second later, his tone hushed and neutral. "At least for Rachel. You can come and get your stuff anytime you want. You don't have to take it all tomorrow. You have a key. You can let yourself in when you have time to stop by and then just leave the key when you go."

Cuddy shook her head in confusion at him thinking tomorrow would be best for _Rachel_ when _never _is what would be best for _Rachel, _but then he continued speaking and she struggled to set aside that statement just to hear whatever else he was going to add. When he didn't answer the question she knew she most needed to do anything and everything she could to work out at present, she swallowed hard before forcing herself to ask, "Will I still be able to see Evie? Do you…? Are we going to go back to me and Rachel visiting twice in the week and once on weekends? What are you…?"

House shook his head and her words fell away, assuming the worst. She couldn't help the sob that escaped her then. But before she could beg him to change his mind, he picked back up where he'd left off in his thoughts, "You can see Evie when you want to. But… I don't want Rachel here. It'll be best if she doesn't come with you to visit."

Cuddy's eyes widened in shock at what he was saying and she swayed more dramatically on her feet as she gaped at him. "_What?_" she demanded, slightly on edge, not understanding him _at all _now.

"It's…," he began, only to correct himself. "_I'm _not good for her. I… I _scare her. _It's just… It's just _best_ for Rachel that she not come with you. I don't know. Maybe… Maybe I can get Erika or Wilson or someone to bring Evie to your house on occasion so that they still have time together. I'm not implying she and Evie should be separated. I just haven't thought that through yet. I… I'll figure it out," he continued, a hand leaving the counter to wrap around his skull as he realized all the things he _still _had to work out for everyone.

And then Cuddy thought she understood. Well, at least part of what was going on in his head, even if she didn't understand very well the reason _why _he was reacting in this way. Biting her lip, she slowly crossed the distance between them, stopping just short of him. "House," she began soothingly, not daring to touch him yet, her fingers flexing as she resisted the urge to reach out. "You are _very _good for Rachel. There's no basis for you to think otherwise. _Why_ would she be scared of you? Because of this _morning?_"

House dropped his head and his hand along with it, returning it to the counter. He didn't want to explain. He didn't want to have this conversation. But he knew she would fight him until he pointed out why his reasoning was logical _and_ accurate. That meant he had no choice but to explain. "I'm _not_, Cuddy. And she _is _scared of me. The minute I went upstairs to get her this morning, she… _scrambled _to get away," he finished in an obviously agitated manner, probably reliving it. "She was _terrified _of me, calling for you like I was going to… I don't know, _do _something to her_. _I _can't_ do this. I can't _be _that kind of father. I _had that _myself and I wouldn't wish it on… anyone," he completed, before concluding resignedly, "And I don't want to raise kids _like this._ I don't want Evie or Rachel to grow up in a home where there's tension and fighting. It's just better this way in the long run."

"Better for _who?" _she challenged. "Not for Rachel. And not for you either, House." Calming herself with a cleansing breath, she briskly wiped her tears away with the back of her hand before softly voicing, "House, families fight. _Parents fight. _And no one can protect their kids from everything."

But he made no reply. Taking in his defeatist form, she persevered, not about to accept his position on this. If he wanted her gone for… _other_ reasons, fine. She had little choice but to respect him. But she was _not _going to let him walk away from Rachel. "She isn't scared of you, House. You've done nothing to merit her fearing you. She… She had _just woken up_. And… our, no _my _screaming at you probably terrified her. She didn't know or understand what was going on." Thinking of something, she added, "House, when we were fighting, I went to take Evie from you, remember? To try and calm her down? But she didn't want _me_. She wanted _you. You're the one _who she is used to going to for comfort. You were the one she was born being comforted by. Not me. So is it all that surprising that Rachel would want me in that moment? I'm the one she's more used to going to when she has a bad dream or gets hurt. Sometimes… Sometimes the girls are going to choose one of us over the other, House. That's just the way it is."

House turned around to give her a pointed look before rolling his eyes. "I'm not _jealous _of your relationship with her, Cuddy. And I'm not imagining things either. She _was _scared of me."

"House, she'd _just woken up!" _Cuddy repeated, catching herself in the midst of raising her voice at him and quickly changing her demeanor. Imploring him with her eyes, her chin tilted down, she bit her lip and then said tenderly, "House, Rachel _loves_ you. She didn't understand what was going on this morning but she's been asking about you ever since Cameron brought her home today. She cried tonight at bedtime, literally throwing a fit, because you hadn't been by to see her at naptime and weren't here at bedtime to tuck her in. She _wanted_ her daddy. House, Rachel is _over _what happened this morning. And… and I'm sorry but, you don't _get_ to be Henry in this. You don't _get_ to decide someone else would be a better daddy for her. There _is _no one else. There never _will be. _She's chosen you and I'm sorry but, you're stuck in this one. So if you want us to be more careful about arguing in front of the girls, okay. We can work on that one. I'm willing to do my part, though alright, I might need to be reminded at times. But House, you'll scar her more by walking away, regardless of whether or not _you _think it's in her best interest, than you will by _occasionally yelling _when she's around."

House had started to sputter when she mentioned Henry, clearly not appreciating the connection she made. And yet he'd fallen silent afterwards, allowing her opportunity to finish. His lips had firmed and he didn't look all that happy with her, but Cuddy sighed internally when he gave her a curt nod, following it by warning, "_Fine_. But when she wants nothing to do with me tomorrow and runs the minute I come into the room…"

Cuddy laughed breathily at his adamancy but checked herself when he muttered in irritation, "_It's not funny._"

Acquiescing, she nodded but then let it go before quietly asking, "Do you still want me to move out?"

House expelled a breath, quickly breaking eye contact. Still hoping to avoid this conversation, he nevertheless murmured after a moment of silence, "I can't give you what you want, Cuddy. _Don't you get that yet?_ Because I'm _not _going to spell it out for you. And since you can't accept that, we're just going to keep…"

Interrupting him, Cuddy held up her hand to silence him before she quietly acknowledged, "I was in the wrong this morning. I… was upset and I didn't understand. And you're _right_. I _have _made it so that it's all about me. I… can't tell you how sorry I am. I just thought…" House was decidedly uncomfortable and Cuddy was aware of this but pushed on anyway, not to excuse herself anymore but because she felt she did owe him an explanation. "House, I've thought for a long time now that… _the reason _why you lost interest in me… the reason your body stopped reacting to mine… All this time I've thought that was because I… stopped being attractive to you; that my body changing due to the pregnancy… disgusted you," she admitted.

"Cuddy, that's not what happened…" he began to say after a moment, huffing out his frustration with her, wanting to walk away but also pulled in the direction of telling her when she couldn't be more wrong.

"No, but that's what I thought," she continued when he lapsed into silence. "This morning… _I didn't think_. Or maybe I _overthought. _I don't know. I just… _I love you_. And I wanted you to know how much I really do _want you_… But I screwed up and showed it in the wrong way. I wanted to bring you pleasure… but that's not what you want or need from me right now."

Seeing House stiffen before her eyes, she rushed to add, "And I get that. _I do_. It just took me until today to understand that my conception of what happened to… your attraction to me during my pregnancy is only that. How _I_ conceived the situation. When I was pregnant, I took everything out on you. And even though I've regretted that _terribly, I _didn't realize how selfish I'd been or… how much damage I did in demanding that you take my needs upon yourself to fulfill, even when it wasn't in your best interest to do so. And maybe part of it was just being depressed and feeling like my whole life was ruined, rather than seeing the _opportunities_ I'd been given in Evie and… and in you, loving me. But I don't want _to make excuses_ for myself. There isn't an excuse I could make that would justify all I've done to you.

"_I don't want to talk about this,_" House quickly interrupted, his expression almost fierce as his walls went up.

Cuddy nodded but the tears had already started streaming down her cheeks and she couldn't help but sob out, "_I'm so sorry for all I've done to you and all I've cost you, House. I'm SO sorry._"

House stood there, barely breathing as he tried to contain his own emotions that had suddenly boiled to the surface, leaving him overwhelmed by a confusion of anger and hurt, grief and sensitivity. And perhaps most surprising of all, the fact that part of him yet hated seeing her cry, even _wanted_ to comfort her, when another part of him told him she could cry from here to eternity and it _wouldn't be enough_ to make up for things. So he could tell her it was alright. But it _wasn't_. She'd ripped him apart and he'd... just _taken it_, loving her all the while. And still it was true... _Something in him_ wanted to comfort her, but… he just _couldn't _anymore. Not in this. Shaking his head therefore, unable or unwilling to accept her apology, he instead muttered, "I'm going to bed," and then he stepped around her without looking at her, a hand out to ward her off, resolutely walking away.

* * *

"_**If the elephants have past lives**_

_**Yet are destined to always remember**_

_**It's no wonder how they scream**_

_**Like you and I they must have some temper**_

_**And I am dreaming of them on the plains**_

_**Dirtying up their beds**_

_**Watching for some sign of rain**_

_**To cool their hot heads**_

_**And how dare that you send me that card**_

_**When I'm doing all that I can do?**_

_**You are forcing me to remember**_

_**When all I want is to just forget you**_

_**If the tiger shall protect her young**_

_**Then tell me how did you slip by?**_

_**All my instincts have failed me for once**_

_**I must have somehow slept the whole night**_

_**And I am dreaming of them with their kill**_

_**Tearing it all apart**_

_**Blood dripping from their lips**_

_**And teeth sinking into heart**_

_**And how dare that you say you'll call**_

_**When you know I need some peace of mind?**_

_**If you have to take sides with the animals**_

_**Won't you do it with one who is kind?**_

_**And if the hawks in the trees need the dead**_

_**If you're living you don't stand a chance**_

_**For a time though you share the same bed**_

_**There are only two ends to this dance**_

_**You can flee with your wounds just in time**_

_**Or lie there as he feeds**_

_**Watching yourself ripped to shreds**_

_**And laughing as you bleed**_

_**So for those of you falling in love**_

_**Keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right**_

_**Throw yourself in the midst of danger**_

_**But keep one eye open at night"**_

* * *

Song: "Elephants" (Rachael Yamagata)


	98. Half of My Heart

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I honestly hoped I'd have this chapter done by Christmas but it's taken me longer than I had planned. What do you do? Hope you all had a great Christmas! Thank you all for the reviews!)_

* * *

June 16th, 2011

Cuddy stretched wearily out on her bed, knowing she ought to get up but still feeling thoroughly exhausted despite having fallen asleep eventually, probably getting about four hours sleep in total. She'd wanted to go after House when he'd walked away last night. But then, when _didn't _she want to go after him lately? Instead she allowed him to leave, knowing this was part of respecting him; part of respecting his boundaries. And after a little while she'd checked on Evie and laid out a change of clothes for her for the morning before she'd gone back upstairs, readied for bed, and turned the light out before crawling under the blankets, her thoughts full of him. She thought of the things she still needed to apologize to him for and of the lies she told him at one point or another, knowingly or unknowingly, that she wanted to take back or find a way to correct. She also thought of the conversational roadblocks that lay in the way of them eventually coming out of this _together_, such as Lucas, her situation at PPTH, and… the consequences of what she'd done and how she'd treated him during her pregnancy. The date she'd set for herself to correct the situation at PPTH was quickly approaching but there was no way of knowing how long the other issues between them would take to work through. Or _if_ they ever would, though she certainly _hoped_ so, for _both_ of their sakes.

Finally forcing herself to get up, she showered and got dressed, applying her makeup before heading downstairs, pausing briefly at Rachel's door to smile at the sight of her precious angel sleeping peacefully. Determining to give her a few more minutes, Cuddy headed downstairs, the smell of coffee brewing meeting her nose invitingly.

Stepping into the kitchen, she spotted House sipping from a steaming mug by the sliding glass door, clearly waiting for Cookie Monster to finish up and come back inside. But her attention was quickly dragged away from him when Evie spotted her where she sat in her highchair and squealed happily, her little hands coming up and opening and closing, letting Cuddy know she wanted to be picked up. Laughing at Evie's enthusiastic greeting and more than ready to hold her close after not being able to the night before, Cuddy went to her, lifting her free and spinning around with her a couple times in order to get her giggling before pressing kisses to her cheeks and neck. Cookie Monster had made his entrance, attracted to the happy commotion, and ran around their feet barking excitedly. Laughing once more, Cuddy was careful not to step on him as she came to a stop. Feeling House's eyes on her, she looked up and took in the upturned corners of his mouth from watching them before he looked away, sobering a second later, shutting the door but making no move to step away from it as he continued staring outside.

He wasn't currently upset with her, she picked up from the slight smile he'd had on his lips in watching her with Evie, meaning he wasn't… thinking about what she'd done to him. At least not at present. Still, he was decidedly distracted. And then it came to her. He was nervous, she realized; worried about how Rachel was going to react to him and… still convinced that she'd reject him completely. The smile falling from her lips, she looked once more at Evie in her arms, smiling tenderly at her again and giving her another kiss, before she went in his direction. Halfway there her thoughts were confirmed as Rachel called out, "Mommy!" from upstairs and House tensed in response. Pausing, she turned her head to call out, "Mommy will be right there, Rachel," before focusing her attention back upon House.

Going to him, she reached out and placed her hand gently on his forearm as her expression melted further into tenderness when House released a heavy breath and looked away instead of making eye contact with her. "House," she quietly reminded him, "She'd _just_ woken up. And not pleasantly at that. You've _never_ given Rachel any reason to fear you and you _aren't_ John. So if she shrank away from you, see it in the context of the situation. _Don't_ view it as a verdict on who you are and what your role in her life is to be. Because that would be a lie. That _isn't_ you. And Rachel _loves _you. She _needs _you. What happened yesterday morning was eclipsed completely by the fact that she missed you horribly, not having seen you all day and the minute she sees you, you'll see what a waste of your time it was to think like this. She missed you House. She loves you _ever_ so much."

Sliding her hand up his arm, she gave his elbow a squeeze before releasing him without waiting for a response, giving him one last look before turning with Evie still in her arms, heading for the stairs.

"Morning, baby," she greeted Rachel when she got to the top of the stairs, unlatching the gate before opening it to stroke Rachel's hair back out of her face.

"Cookie Monster _happy_," Rachel informed her, beaming as she jumped about. "He barkin'. Me play with him?"

Cuddy smiled but gave her a pointed look. "You can play with him but only for a few minutes while daddy and I get you some breakfast. Then you need to eat before we come back up to get you dressed for the day and brush your teeth."

Rachel quickly nodded her acceptance and tried to get around Cuddy to the stairs but she caught her before she could. Carefully squatting down beside her, she said, "Rachel, wait a minute. Mommy needs to talk to you."

Rachel stopped pulling to get away, nodding now.

"Do you remember how mommy and daddy were _really noisy _yesterday morning and we scared you even though we didn't mean to?" she asked evenly.

Rachel looked down at her feet but nodded slowly.

"Well _daddy_," she picked back up, her voice taking on the silliest tone she could manage. "He's being _SO silly. _He doesn't know how much we love him. In fact, he thinks maybe you don't want to see him anymore. Now that's just _silly, _isn't it?"

"That's very silly," Rachel agreed with a giggle, nodding dramatically, her mood having improved again with Cuddy's tone.

"I think he could _really _use some lovin' right now," Cuddy whispered to her as if they were conspiring together. "Because he feels _really_ bad that you were scared yesterday. Do you think we could go downstairs and give daddy some lovin' before you play with Cookie Monster? Let him know we're still crazy about him?"

"Me gonna give daddy some _big_ lovin's," Rachel answered, smiling widely.

"Alright, let's go love up on daddy a bit," Cuddy agreed, taking Rachel's hand to help her down the stairs before straightening and counterbalancing Evie's weight on her hip.

The minute they reached the bottom of the staircase, Rachel took off and Cuddy followed after her, stepping into the kitchen in time to see House quickly put his coffee cup aside so as not to spill it as Rachel raced at him calling excitedly, "_Daddy, daddy, daddy," _throwing herself into his arms and trusting he would catch her up while Cookie Monster ran after her, barking once again. Cuddy watched as House lifted her up, already looking better, and Rachel threw her arms around his neck, giggling as she informed him, "Daddy, you's _so silly! _We's love you _so much! _We's _crazy 'bout you!_ Aren't we mommy?_"_

Biting her lip as she continued towards them, Cuddy softly agreed, "We definitely are," before adding sneakily, "But I'm not sure that daddy looks so convinced. It looks to me like daddy might need a _whole lot of kisses_."

House turned his eyes to her to give her a droll look but she could read the relief in his eyes. Laughing as Rachel started giving him loud kisses wherever she could reach him, taking Cuddy seriously, she enjoyed the moment and House's discomfort as he cringed, needing to protest somehow, even if only nonverbally.

Evie started squealing again, bouncing herself in Cuddy's arms as she reached for House and Cuddy said, "Looks like Evie wants in on kissing daddy too," before she brought Evie over to them.

"Give daddy a kiss," Cuddy cooed as House tried to lean away to escape the drool dripping down Evie's chin from where a couple of her fingers were just inside her mouth, being chewed on as she gave him a toothy grin.

Evie giggled as Cuddy succeeded in pressing Evie's mouth to his cheek for a quick second, despite how House tried to escape, resettling Evie in her arms a second later.

"You's _awfully scratchy_, daddy," Rachel informed him as he tried to wipe his face, Rachel scrunching up her nose at how his scruff felt against her before patting his cheeks.

Cuddy laughed, both at the face House was making and at Rachel's commentary. "Is daddy feeling any better?" she asked him then with a pointed look.

House gave her a dirty look in response, which she chose to interpret as a yes, before she cringed, realizing that Evie reeked and was in need of a diaper change.

House's lips rose up at the corners at her displeasure when he too could smell Evie before he said dryly, "She's _all yours_."

"_Thanks_," Cuddy replied sarcastically, turning with Evie to take her to be changed.

"Me play with Cookie Monster now?" Rachel asked him then, cupping his face in her hands and pulling a little towards her so that he had fishy lips.

"Sure," he agreed thickly as his lips bounced back in place, setting her down on the floor.

But Rachel paused before running off to look up at him and ask, "Daddy, you loves me too? You's crazy 'bout me?"

House tried to bite back a grin but it was a hopeless cause. "Yeah, Rachel," he agreed, his voice only slightly gruff due to emotion. "I'm crazy about you too."

Rachel beamed brightly and then turned, racing in the direction of Cookie Monster and giggling as he startled, sliding a little as he scampered away with her right behind him.

Chagrined, House rubbed his hand against his scruff before turning to retrieve his coffee cup, then going to the cabinets to grab another one down to pour Cuddy a cup as well.

* * *

Cuddy smiled to herself as she changed Evie, glad that she and Rachel had been successful in what House would have called a "diabolical plot" to make him feel better. Buttoning the snaps on Evie's onesie, she slipped a dress over her head before pressing kisses to the crook of her neck and her chubby cheeks. Lifting her up a second later, she settled her in her arms before returning to the kitchen and replacing her in the highchair to get Rachel some breakfast.

Turning, she bit her lip once more as she smiled, House holding out a coffee cup in her direction, giving her another dirty look for the way she was looking at him.

"_Shut up_," he muttered under his breath, causing her smile to grow all the more as she took the coffee cup from him and murmured a thank you.

"Well if you're _not _going to move out," he dryly informed her a minute later, "Just know you'll probably regret it come this weekend."

She gave him a puzzled look but then her expression softened as she realized what he was talking about and that this was his way of saying she didn't have to leave. She'd been 95% sure that he wouldn't make her move out last night, but she still appreciated the fact that he was communicating it to her in a roundabout way, all the same. Knowing that didn't mean she was forgiven, nor that he was willing to talk about… it, but more that he wanted to pretend like nothing had happened or been revealed, she instead rolled her eyes and wryly remarked, "I think I know how to deal with your mother by now. And if I have a problem, _my _motherwill be here to deal with her. But _you _might not want to be so smug. Don't forget my dad is coming and _he _will be watching you like a hawk to make sure you're treating _his little girl_ alright. Especially as… neither my mother nor I have yet told him that Rachel and I are living here," she admitted then, her tone changing as she herself cringed.

House harrumphed and rolled his eyes, turning away as he shook his head. "Chicken," he muttered under his breath.

"_Shut up_," it was her turn to say, smiling though as she looked away before remembering Rachel needed to eat, heading to the pantry.

"Where are they going to stay?" House asked as he peeled a banana and took a bite. "Your place?"

"Yeah," she agreed, glancing at him.

Seeing the box of cereal in her hand, House went to the fridge and pulled out a carton of milk, setting it down on the counter before taking a bowl down as well, pulling a spoon out of the drawer a second later as he nodded.

"Thanks," she murmured before turning to call Rachel.

"When do they arrive?" he asked next.

"I don't know. Saturday sometime. But I have to call and find out," she added, looking up as Rachel ran into the room with Cookie Monster.

House reached for Rachel, catching her and lifting her up before turning her upside down, carrying her to the table. She giggled as he tried to put her in her booster seat upside down. "_No daddy_," she corrected, still giggling. "This not the right way."

"It's not?" he asked dubiously, raising an eyebrow.

"_No, silly_," Rachel answered, shaking her head, her long hair dangling and Cookie Monster jumping up beneath her, trying to bite at it.

"Okay, if you say so," he replied with a shrug, lifting her back up into the air and then flipping her to set her down right side up in her chair.

Cuddy shook her head, smiling at them, but carried over Rachel's cereal, thinking she really had to get to the grocery store and buy some healthier breakfast options. Stabilizing herself by holding on to House's bicep with one hand, she leaned in front of him to set Rachel's cereal down in front of her.

Straightening, she looked up at him before asking, "Can you get her some juice while I run upstairs to figure out what she's going to wear today?"

House glanced down at her and nodded, his eyes then straying to her hand where it still lay on his arm.

"Thanks," she replied, pushing herself up on her tiptoes quickly to peck his cheek before releasing him, her hand trailing slightly around his arm and back as she dropped it to her side in the midst of walking out of the room.

House turned his head, watching her go, a slight frown creasing his forehead as he pondered her before he remembered he was supposed to be on juice duty and moved to retrieve Rachel's sippy cup from the cabinet.

* * *

"Dr. Cuddy, there's a man on line two waiting to speak to you. Something about a… swing set?" her assistant finished uncertainly.

Cuddy smiled. "Go ahead and put him through," she instructed, having seen that she'd gotten a message the day before from the company but had already left for the day when they'd called. Apparently they'd fallen behind schedule due to the storm and needed to reschedule, which was fine on her side as she'd forgotten to be at home in time, _had _they shown up. Answering the call, five minutes later she had it arranged to be delivered on Friday, which actually was probably for the best, as she was sure that Rachel wouldn't want to go to daycare the morning after it was delivered and this would give her the whole weekend to enjoy it, Cuddy thought with a smile.

She had just returned the phone to the hook when her cell phone went off. Reaching for it, she checked the number and then smiled before answering. "Hi mom! How are you? Ready to come visit?"

"Are you kidding me?" Evelyn answered with a sigh. "I've been away from my babies for too long already! I'm _dying _to get my hands on them!"

Cuddy laughed, glancing at her clock to see how long she had to talk before she had to meet with a donor. Seeing she had another twenty minutes, she focused back on her mother. "When will you guys arrive?"

"Your father wants to leave early so we'll probably arrive around ten in the morning. I actually think he's more anxious to see the girls than even _I am,_" she admitted with a smile.

Cuddy smiled happily at the thought, quite pleased to hear it even if she knew that he'd be looking forward to the visit. "When do you have to head back?" she inquired then.

"Oh, well Julia already had plans for Sunday earlier in the day. I think they're getting together with Steve's parents. But she asked us if we wanted to come for dinner around 7 p.m., so we'll probably head out around 3 or 4," Evelyn concluded.

"Okay. And you guys are okay staying at the house? I mean, no one's been living there for a month so I should probably go by and make sure everything's ready for your visit but… You wouldn't prefer a hotel, would you?" Cuddy asked to double-check.

"No, honey," Evelyn replied. "The house will be great. And don't worry about cleaning it or anything. I'm sure I'll have time to tidy up. But… I've been thinking… I really think one of the two of us should… tell your _father _that you're living with Greg at the moment. You know, give him a heads up so he has time to…"

"Calm down?" Cuddy volunteered, biting back a smile.

"Well, I was going to say _'adjust to the idea'_ but… Basically," Evelyn agreed.

Cuddy inhaled then before releasing her breath. "I've got a meeting in a little bit but I'll call him right after that," she promised.

"Okay. And Lisa, honey?"

"Uh-huh?" Cuddy prompted.

"Well, I don't know how you'll feel about this or whether or not you'll be ready by then but…" Evelyn began, hesitating, clearly not wanting to put any pressure on her.

"It's okay mom," Cuddy assured her. "Go ahead and ask me what you want to ask."

"Well, Julia wants to have a little family get-together on the 4th of July with just our side. She wondered if you and Rachel would be able to come. She mentioned that she hasn't seen you nor talked to you in a long time and thought it would be a good excuse for us to all get together. It's going to be at her house and I think Steve plans to barbecue. I don't know if you are ready but… I thought maybe it would be a good opportunity for you to… I mean, I know it's the 4th but, we so seldom get together and…" Evelyn continued uncertainly.

Cuddy's stomach dropped just at the thought but it _was _way past time and… everyone here would know by then so it wasn't like there was a good reason not to. It'd probably be better as well, if she just got it over with. Plus, she didn't want to hide Evie any longer. Not in any way. Her hesitations mostly sprang from her uncertainties regarding her sister and how she'd react. Squeezing her eyes closed tightly for a moment, she tried to calm the butterflies in her stomach before saying, "Let me get back to you on that this weekend. I… kinda need to talk to House first and see how he feels about it."

"Well, obviously Greg's invited!" Evelyn made sure to inform her. "And if he's willing to come, I can pass word along that you'll be bringing a date."

Cuddy laughed uncomfortably. "I'm sure that's _just _what House would want to be identified as," she wryly replied.

Evelyn smiled at that but asked, "How is Greg? I've had a hard time catching him lately but I always just figure I'll call again so I haven't yet left any messages."

"You'll have to ask him, mom," Cuddy answered simply.

But Evelyn wasn't easily fooled. She heard the small change in her daughter's voice. "What is it, Lisa?" she inquired.

Cuddy sighed, rubbing her hand over her face, reminding herself she didn't have time to break down before admitting, "I don't know mom. It's just… I've just hurt him so much. And… it seems like we're doing great and then I find out something _else _about… how much I hurt him and… I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if there's any hope for us. If it will ever be possible for us to be… _together_. Not that I'd ever walk away from him. I love him with all that's within me! But… I don't know if he'll ever be able to forgive me. I guess that's it. He won't even talk about it. And I'm just so terribly ashamed of… _all of it," _she finished.

Evelyn sighed in response but then softly said, "Sometimes you just have to take things a day at a time and pray that God will do what seems impossible, honey. But I'll tell you this much, dear. That boy loves you. And I really think he always has and always will. It might not seem like it right now, but it'll all work out for you. I believe that with everything in me. You two will find your way. It just might not be as fast as you'd like it to be."

"Thanks mom," Cuddy murmured softly, affection lining her words. "I guess I better go but I'll call dad in a little bit. And I'll get back to you about the 4th. I just need a little time to talk with House first."

"Okay, honey. Give the girls hugs and kisses for me. Greg too. And we'll see you all in a couple days. Tell the girls grandma plans to spoil them something awful!" Evelyn cheerfully added.

Cuddy laughed but said, "I'll tell them. Love you, mom."

"I love you too, sweetheart. Have a good day at work."

Adding a quick "Bye," Cuddy then hung up, setting her cell phone back down on her desk before sighing once more. She had just enough time to review her notes quickly before Mr. Anderson was scheduled to swing by. Reaching for them, she refocused on her work, knowing she'd have plenty of time to worry about a potential get-together with her sister and family, later on.

* * *

House was sitting at his desk when his phone rang and he absentmindedly reached for it, his attention on the patient file before him. "Yeah?" he answered, not even introducing himself.

He recognized the laugh on the other end of the line right before Cuddy teased, "Wow, such the professional."

"Yeah, whatever," House dryly replied, setting the file aside before removing his glasses.

"How are you?" she asked then, her voice going soft.

House raised an eyebrow at the question while rubbing the bridge of his nose but sarcastically said, "Peachy. Yourself?"

"I'm procrastinating on calling my dad," she responded, the hesitancy in her voice clearly indicating that she was not looking forward to the conversation.

He smiled slightly in amusement. "What did your mom have to say?" he asked then.

"That she's going to spoil our girls rotten and can't wait to get her hands on them. How are they, by the way?" Cuddy added, leaning forward on her desk, one hand semi-supporting her chin.

"Rachel was sleeping when I left and I think by tonight, Evie's actually going to master pulling herself to a stand," he volunteered.

"_Oh_," Cuddy groaned. "But I don't want to miss out on that!"

"I'm pretty sure she'll do repeat performances," he dryly informed her.

"But I want to be there for _her first time_," Cuddy continued, whining.

"I'll pass on the message that you forbid her to until you're there to see her do it," House mockingly remarked.

Sighing, Cuddy pouted but then got back on track, knowing neither one of them could stay on the phone forever. "House," she began, moistening her lips. "I have to ask you for something that I'm not sure either one of us will want to do."

She was met with silence for a moment but then he wryly asked, "What?"

Rubbing her face with her hand again, she launched into her quandary. "Mom said that Julia wants to have a get-together at her house on the 4th. It would basically be her family, my parents, and us, if you're willing to go. But… I haven't told her anything about Evie yet. And I… Well, I have to tell her at _some point. _Not that I…"

"You don't have to explain, Cuddy," House interrupted in a mumble. "_I get it_. And besides, I've always known that you and your sister… aren't _exactly_ the best of friends," he finished.

Cuddy bit her lip but then asked, "Would… Would you be willing to… go with me? To go with _us? _I… I'd really appreciate you coming. And I obviously wouldn't want you to miss out on Evie's first fireworks. Julia's husband is going to barbecue. And I'll pay for the hotel room. That way we don't have to drive back right away but can come back on the 5th. It's a good excuse to take a day off work," she threw in, looking for any and every way to sweeten the deal for him.

House huffed but resignedly said, "Alright. Whatever. I just hope the food's worth it."

Cuddy laughed softly under her breath but offered, "If it's awful, I'll buy you dinner."

"You're going to wait until we get there to tell her?" he asked curiously, ignoring her promise.

Cuddy worried her lip a second but finally nodded before catching herself and saying, "I think so. I don't really think it matters one way or the other. It'll be a surprise all the same."

"Yeah," House agreed quietly. "That it will."

Cuddy waited a second but then murmured, "Thanks House. For… understanding but also for being willing to come with."

"No problem," he said simply before, "I should go though."

"Okay," she accepted softly. "I'll see you at home."

And then he was gone and she reluctantly hung up her own phone, staring at her desk a second before deciding she'd put off on calling her dad long enough. Retrieving her cell phone once again, she dialed his number, waiting as it rang.

"Hey dad," she greeted him softly when he answered, smiling at the sound of his voice.

"Hey sweetheart," he warmly began, somehow having this way of making her feel like she was the most important person in the world to him, just by his tone. "How's my girl? Working yourself too hard?"

Cuddy sighed and admitted, "I've had a lot of meetings this week. But things are going pretty good. How are you?"

"_I _am looking forward to seeing my grandkids this weekend and adding to my tie collection," he teased.

"I only got you a tie that_ one year_," Cuddy whined. "I was _five, _for goodness sake! Cut me some slack. It wasn't _that _bad."

Richard chuckled but agreed, "No. And I actually do wear it still, _occasionally. _Mainly when I'm thinking of you girls. I just like to bring it up every year. Increases my odds of getting something truly impressive."

"You're impossible," she rebuked him, though he could tell she was smiling.

"I know. And you wouldn't want me any other way," he easily reminded her.

"No," she admitted, biting her lip in affection.

"So…" Cuddy began hesitantly a moment later, her nose wrinkling. "I kind of have to tell you something."

"Oh?" he prompted in a manner in which he was now famous for doing when confession time came.

"Why do you always say it like that?" she asked with a frown, pushing off telling him another minute.

But he just laughed. "Mainly because you, Julia, and your mother are all alike. You believe it's so easy to pull the wool over my eyes, but you don't seem aware after all this time that I _know_ you and I'm _not _so easily fooled, despite what you might believe to the contrary."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Cuddy inquired, her forehead wrinkling.

"It means that if you're finally calling me to tell me that you and Rachel are living at House's, it's not exactly a newsflash," he dryly replied.

"What?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Well, you _might _have fooled me if it wasn't that you've forgotten to take the date imprint feature off your camera. When you send me pictures of you and the girls or House and the girls and the pictures give away the fact that they've been taken day after day instead of on your supposed days to visit the girls, daddy starts to question just how regularly House is allowing you to visit."

"But that doesn't mean…" she interrupted pointedly.

But he didn't let her get any farther. "Don't even _try_ to deny it, young lady," he sternly told her. "If that hadn't raised questions, the fact that several pictures of Rachel are in a bedroom I've never seen before, and yet all her things seem to be there, would have cued me in."

Cuddy fell silent, cringing at her slips.

"Just tell me you aren't sleeping with him," Richard commanded.

"_Dad!" _Cuddy gasped incredulously.

"_Tell me_, _Lisa,_" he repeated, an edge to his tone.

"I'm _not," _she denied, "But…"

"No buts. That's all I wanted to know. We'll talk this weekend," he informed her somberly.

"_Okay," _she agreed reluctantly, squeezing her eyes closed, surprising herself by how much she sounded like a kid expecting to get a scolding.

"_Now_, tell me about how the girls are," he calmly instructed, the rest of their conversation much more pleasant.

* * *

Cuddy entered the house that night, not at all surprised to find that House had beat her home with the girls. She'd slipped away from the office a bit early but not by much, knowing she'd have to leave early the next day as well to be there when the swing set was delivered. She'd also swung by her house on the way home, pausing to change sheets and do a quick clean-up job before calling it good and heading out.

"Grab the video camera, Cuddy," House called from the living room.

Remembering suddenly what he'd said about Evie on the phone earlier, she grabbed it, suddenly frustrated with herself that she hadn't come home as soon as she could, hopping around a moment to get her high heels off her feet before making her way impatiently to the living room.

House glanced up at her from where he was beside the coffee table, his hand out to cushion Evie should she lose her balance completely and fall over, not wanting her to get hurt. But when Cuddy entered the room, Evie lost her concentration and plopped down on her butt, more interested in mommy being home than in trying to stand up. Getting carefully to his feet now that he didn't have to worry about Evie falling over, House exchanged places with Cuddy, taking the video camera from her.

"Hi mommy," Rachel said happily, running over to her to wrap her arms around Cuddy's neck in a hug.

Adjusting her body slightly, Cuddy wrapped an arm around Rachel to return her hug, pressing a kiss to her head. "Hey baby girl," she replied, smiling affectionately as Rachel was forced to make room when Evie crawled quickly towards them, perching in Cuddy's lap, cooing happily as she patted Cuddy's leg.

Shooting a look House's way once she'd given Evie a kiss as well, she asked, "Did I already miss it?"

House shook his head, video camera ready to go now. "She's pulling herself up but she lets go before her legs are completely straight."

"Good," she exhaled in relief, refocusing on Evie as she used Cuddy to pull herself up once again, babbling happily to herself but clearly eyeing Cuddy's hoop earrings now.

"Oh no you don't," Cuddy informed her, catching her hands before she could reach out to yank them from her head. Turning the baby, she set her down on the floor again, sighing when Evie pouted and whimpered, before reluctantly removing an earring to place it up on the coffee table, hoping it would at least motivate Evie to try standing up once more.

Accordingly, Evie's concentration was now back on the task at hand, wanting that earring, and she rocked herself a bit, sucking on her lips, before she made a grab for the table and started pulling herself up. It took her a couple tries but then she was upright, her little hand outstretching until the earring was in her fist, Evie startling when everyone started clapping for her, swinging her head around to look at them as she swayed on her feet before breaking into a wide grin, excitedly waving her hand with the earring in it around until she _did _lose her balance and plopped down on her butt once again.

Cuddy laughed before reaching for her, laying Evie down on her back before lifting her shirt up to attack her belly with kisses, delighting in the giggles the baby emitted immediately as Evie tried to roll away, forgetting all about the earring in her hand, allowing Cuddy to sneak it away a second later before she placed Evie back beside the coffee table, this time setting one of Evie's toys on the table to try and get her to do it all over again while House continued filming.

* * *

House lay in bed that night, sprawled out in the middle, his arms up to support his head as he stared at the ceiling. Cuddy had been right after all. Rachel had bounced back from yesterday morning much faster than he had. She hadn't even mentioned it to him. She'd just gone on as if it had never happened. For a minute he was envious of that ability of hers, able to forget so easily. But then he switched tracks, just being grateful that she was okay with him once more.

Finally permitting himself to think about yesterday morning in all its awfulness, he turned somber, pushing aside the memory of Cuddy entering the shower before it could flash before him in detail. Nothing had been said since the night before. And that was as he preferred it. But he… had surprised himself in how quickly he'd relented on basically telling Cuddy to leave. Was that just because of Rachel? Because of Evie? Or was there… more to it?

Frowning, he thought over how Cuddy had said no more on the subject of his…, before his brow drew together at how she'd kissed his cheek all the same just that morning, touching his arm repeatedly, now that he thought about it. He knew she knew. He knew she understood what he… _had never wanted her to know_. And it wasn't that he'd expected her to shame him _openly_, because Cuddy would more than likely seek to _appease him_ in order to not have to leave Evie. She'd be crazy to attack him on this. But she hadn't done either. And what was more, she had been willing to go if that was what he wanted. That he could rationalize. What would she want with him anymore now that she knew? And yet… she'd chosen to stay. But then there were the girls to consider, so why would she choose to go? Yes, that could be worked out as well. Only… she'd _still _touched him like… like his unstated revelation didn't make any difference to her. Like she… loved him regardless and wanted to be close to him anyway. _Despite _knowing he couldn't be the man she wanted him to be for her or… meet her needs the way she'd obviously been looking for him to when she'd entered his shower like that. So… was she thinking his… issue was _temporary_ and waiting it out, waiting to see or…?

What he _didn't want_ was to find himself with a false sense of security in this. He didn't want to talk but also didn't want to believe she'd stay around for the long-term regardless of whether or not he would one day be physically capable of offering her… _more_, which he seriously doubted he ever would after all this time. But he was going to go crazy if he thought about this anymore. They seemed to have come to an agreement to just move forward without verbally agreeing to _anything_. And that really was fine with him. So did he let it go and… pretend like she knew nothing, as if nothing at all had taken place as he'd been trying to do all day, just… remaining watchful so that his guard didn't go down, leaving him to one day find himself the way he didn't want to, looking back at the idiot he'd been for trusting her? Really, was there any other _option? _The real problem was that he still loved her, insane as that was. And he _wanted _her around. _Another_ complication.

There was nothing for it, he decided. He'd just have to keep an eye out. He couldn't trust her. Not completely. There were too many reasons not to. But… he couldn't push her away either. He was stuck. For now that would have to be fine.

* * *

June 17th, 2011

Cuddy turned her head at the sound of the garage door going up and then waited, biting her lip in her own excitement to see Rachel's reaction to the new swing set outside. She'd called House an hour ago to tell him that the delivery men had arrived to set it up and were halfway done. He'd suggested she grab the video camera for this as well, just in case. So she had it on the table in the breakfast nook, not yet on but otherwise ready to go. Now she stood waiting, laughing when she heard Rachel enter, her feet running across the floor towards her.

"Mommy, you beat us!" Rachel excitedly exclaimed as she entered the kitchen, throwing herself at Cuddy's legs. "You home first!"

"_That," _Cuddy began mysteriously as she smoothed Rachel's hair, "is because _mommy and daddy _have a _surprise _for you."

Rachel's head dropped back so that she could stare up at her mommy, eyes wide. "S'prise?" she repeated, a smile blossoming on her face. "_Fer me?_"

"For you," Cuddy enunciated, shooting House a smile as he entered the room with Evie stretched out before him, a droll expression on his lips as the baby kicked her legs contentedly, a finger in her mouth as she babbled to herself.

"I've got to change stinky here," he informed her sardonically as he passed.

"We'll wait," she agreed, her own smile growing in watching him go.

"What is it, mommy? What's my s'prise?" Rachel asked, tugging on her skirt in hopes of hurrying her.

"We have to wait until daddy's done changing Evie's diaper," she told her. "You're going to have to be patient _just a moment longer_."

Instead of agreeing, Rachel let go of her and ran out of the room after House, shouting, "_Hurry daddy! Me got a s'prise!"_

"Rachel," Cuddy admonished, calling after her even as she shook her head, the smile on her lips growing slightly as she opted to grab the video camera herself and wait for their return.

A minute later House entered the room with Evie in a completely different outfit, telling Cuddy it had been a _bad one, _Rachel practically dragging him.

"_Rachel_," Cuddy scolded, but House just smirked at her enthusiasm.

"What's my s'prise, mommy? Huh? Huh?" Rachel asked, jumping up and down before her.

House stepped around them to go to the sliding back door, easing it open as Rachel's attention wasn't centered on him anyway.

Cuddy hit the recording button but then met Rachel's anxious gaze and tilted her head in House's direction. "_Well_, it just might be outside," she told her playfully.

Rachel's eyes were once more as big as saucers but she swiveled as quickly as she could and took off running in House's direction, House stepping out of the way before she could bowl him over, Cuddy right behind her. And then there was a loud shriek of excitement as Cuddy stepped out onto the deck before House followed suit, just in time to see Rachel start jumping up and down, completely flipping out, not even leaving the deck as she drank in the swing set in her backyard.

"_Mine!_" Rachel shrieked again, finally stopping her jumping dance in order to run to the stairs, Cuddy and House both cringing in fear that she'd fall down the steps as out of control as she was.

"I don't think she likes it," House mumbled sarcastically from where he stood behind her.

Cuddy put her head back to look up at him, smiling her contentment. "Sharing might be a problem," she said then, biting her lip.

"Eh," House replied dismissively. "Evie could care less right now."

Recording Rachel as she ran about the swing set, inspecting every feature and testing the majority of them, Cuddy waited a few minutes before turning the camera off and setting it down, turning to House to scoop Evie from his arms, pressing kisses to her cheeks as the baby squealed and wiggled in her arms.

A smile played on House's lips before he refocused his attention on Rachel, who called out, "_Daddy! Come down the slide wif me!_"

Sighing as if it would be the death of him, House nevertheless headed down the stairs to join Rachel, Cuddy affectionately watching him go.

* * *

"I think telling her we'd eat outside was a bad idea," House mumbled after dinner from where he sat on the deck steps feeding Evie her bottle, Rachel apparently not having worn herself out yet. "How are we going to get her to ever leave _this thing?_ It's already past her bedtime. And she doesn't look anywhere close to being ready to call it quits."

Cuddy laughed but then reminded him, "_You _were the sucker who agreed to a picnic dinner in the clubhouse. Maybe if she'd been forced to come inside to eat, she'd have lost interest or found something else she wanted to do more."

House gave her a semi-scathing glare before returning his eyes to Rachel.

"Watch the expert," she told him then, shooting him a self-confident smile as she pushed herself to her feet.

House lifted an eyebrow at her but watched her as she got up and headed towards Rachel. "Honey, it's time to go inside now," she solemnly informed her. "You can come back out tomorrow and play. Plus, grandma and grandpa and… grandma House will all be here. I'm sure they'll all be very excited to see your swing set."

"Me not want to go in yet," Rachel pouted seconds before she scrambled into the tunnel to escape.

Cuddy shook her head but followed her, moving along the outside of the tunnel to say, "I'll give you three more minutes to play but then you have to come in, no arguing. It's already past your bedtime."

"_Okay_," Rachel agreed with a slight whine, waiting until Cuddy moved away to leave the tunnel to run for the slide.

House looked up at Cuddy as she returned to his side with a look that said she'd been suckered too. But Cuddy shook her head before saying pointedly, "I already knew I would be giving her a few minutes more to play. _That's _called _strategy. _How do you think you were ever successful in getting my permission for half the tests you did while working at Princeton-Plainsboro? I knew how much I was willing to compromise on and then offered you less than that."

House rolled his eyes but a second later assertively said, "And I'd give you your way and then go right ahead and do what I wanted behind your back."

Cuddy's mouth twitched in slight annoyance but her head tipped in acknowledgment of what he'd said before she muttered, "Don't you dare teach Rachel your tricks."

House looked away but Cuddy didn't miss the smug smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. He could think he'd been in control all he wanted. Reality was that she'd trusted him more than she'd ever let on to _not _push her too far while bending her rules.

Her gaze falling to Evie in his arms, she bent over to press a kiss to the now sleeping baby's brow before getting back up to tell Rachel her time was up.

* * *

"That was a lot easier than I thought it would be," House muttered quietly to Cuddy as he came to stand beside her, turning around to lean against the doorframe of Rachel's room, returning his eyes to the sleeping girl, curled up in her bed with Baby G tucked under one arm.

Cuddy smiled but then reached to the side to flip the light switch, not at all surprised by how Rachel had completely crashed, falling asleep before House had even read half her bedtime story to her. "And I'm betting she'll sleep in tomorrow morning so unless Evie has us up early, we might be able to sleep in too," she murmured a second later, following him out of the room.

"Your parents will be here around ten?" he checked, glancing at her.

Cuddy nodded. "When does your mom arrive?"

"Not until the afternoon," House replied, realizing he hadn't thought to tell her that earlier. "I've already got her hotel room booked."

Cuddy bit her lip but then stole a glance up at him. "Do you…? Do you think we'll be alright this weekend? Do you think we'll both… survive? We're… about to be bombarded by a number of parents who… like to meddle."

House sighed but smirked after a second. "It'll be fine," he said then, his tone thoughtful. "But if it's _not_, you'll find me seeking respite at work."

"_House_, you do _not _get to abandon me with all of them," she quickly countered, giving him a look. "Don't even _think _about it."

"Come on, Cuddy," he whined slightly. "You can't expect me to suffer, my first Father's Day _ever._"

Cuddy exhaled, shaking her head soberly. "_House_ if you sneak away, I'll…"

"Geesh, a guy can't even get a break," he mumbled in irritation, beginning down the stairs.

"You can have a break just as soon as they've all _left_," she called softly after him, waiting until after he muttered a "_Whatever_" over his shoulder to allow a smile to form on her lips. Maybe they'd _both _go into hiding before Sunday night came. But… hopefully it wouldn't come to that.

* * *

June 18th, 2011

Cuddy was washing pots and pans from that morning's brunch, House and the girls finishing up at the table, everyone having somehow slept in a little anyway, when the doorbell went off to announce her parents' arrival. Cuddy glanced House's way in time to see him get to his feet, heading for the door. Toweling off her hands, she stepped past the girls, pressing a kiss to Evie's head, before following after him to greet her parents.

House had barely opened the door when Evelyn was already throwing her arms around him, giving him an affectionate hug.

Cuddy laughed at the look on House's face but then refocused on her parents. "Hey mom! Hey dad!" she greeted, giving each a hug in turn, House shaking Richard's proffered hand while Cuddy was hugging her mom.

"Gramma!" Rachel called out as she raced into the room, having obviously found a way out of her booster seat all on her own. Spotting her grandpa, she yelled, "Grampa!"

Evelyn scooped her up, laughing while pressing kisses to the side of Rachel's head even as Rachel paid no attention to this but excitedly informed her, "You's gots to see my swing set, gramma! We's gonna play outside today! You can even go down my slide wif me!"

"Oh, I'm so _excited,_" Evelyn replied enthusiastically. "That sounds like _the perfect _way to spend our day together!"

House raised an eyebrow at Evelyn's exuberance and Rachel's pleasure as she nodded in agreement before she ran to her grandpa and recounted the same details as he knelt down before her, patiently nodding his head, his attention completely focused on her. Hearing Evie complaining about having been abandoned in the kitchen, missing the party, House turned to go get her but Evelyn waved him off before beating him to it.

He leaned against the doorway, watching as Evie caught sight of her grandma, breaking into a toothy grin, shrieking gleefully, batting at her highchair as Evelyn reached for her, laughing, and unbuckled her, lifting her free, pressing kisses to Evie's sticky cheeks, apparently not in the least against coming away with traces of syrup on her own face.

"Georgia, just _look _at you!" Evelyn cooed sentimentally. "You're getting _so big_ and grandma is missing _all of it!_ Grandma better hurry up and move closer, huh? Oh, she missed you! Yes, she _did!_ You're looking so big and _so beautiful! _But who gave you permission to grow up on me? Grandma's going to have a talk with them."

"What 'bout me, gramma?" Rachel demanded as she came running into the kitchen. "Me's getting bigger too!"

"Oh yes, you _are!_" Evelyn agreed solemnly, walking towards her with Evie. "And grandma wants you to stop that right now. No more growing! Why, if you don't stop, you'll be taller than me before long! And then what will I do? I won't be able to pick you up to give you hugs and kisses."

Rachel giggled but then agreed, "Me not gonna grow bigger, gramma. Me stay just this size for you."

"Good," Evelyn accepted with a smart nod.

House snorted slightly at the exchange but that only brought Evelyn's attention to him. Smiling affectionately, clearly pleased to see him, she made her way to him with the girls before she softly asked, "And you Greg? How are _you_ doing? You _look_ as handsome as ever. Are you being taken care of? Eating alright? I've missed you too, you know."

One corner of his mouth lifted in a half-smirk, he nevertheless admitted, "We're glad to see you too."

Evelyn's smile grew at his admission but then she returned to her questions. "Is my daughter making sure you eat enough? You look like you could stand to gain a few pounds."

House chuckled but hearing Cuddy and her father approaching, still in conversation about the drive, he loudly complained, "I'd starve if I had to depend on someone else to do the cooking. And after slaving for hours over a hot stove, who has any appetite left?"

Cuddy gasped defensively, hearing what he had said, and lost track momentarily of the conversation she was having with her father. "That is _so not fair, _House. You don't do _all _the cooking. I cooked dinner twice this week!"

House leaned in towards Evelyn and muttered loudly under his breath, "Yeah, about that… Didn't she have to take Home Economics as a kid? What did she do? _Fail completely?_"

Cuddy didn't even hesitate to approach him, her lips thinning as her eyes narrowed, a hand slapping his arm a second later.

"_Ouch!_ Did you see that, Grandma Cuddles? She _hit me!_" he complained, rubbing his arm.

Cuddy shook her head in indignation but Evelyn bit back a smile before clearing her expression to look at her daughter somberly as she placed her free arm around House and patted his back as if to soothe him, House smugly grinning Cuddy's way. "Now Lisa, we _do not hit. _We use our words."

"That is _not funny_," Cuddy said to her mother in a huff before sending her father an imploring look and whining, "_Dad!_"

But Richard just shook his head at all of them before reaching for Evie, Evelyn reluctantly surrendering her to him. "How's grampa's littlest angel?" he asked her then, taking her towards the sink a second later to grab a washcloth and clean her up.

Evelyn smiled tenderly at the picture her husband made with their grandbaby before she refocused on Rachel. "So what are you waiting for?" she asked her cheerfully. "Where _is _this swing set of yours?"

"I show you," Rachel announced, grabbing her grandma's hand and practically dragging her in the direction of the deck.

Cuddy just shook her head before turning back to the table to grab the dishes that had been left behind, sticking them in the dishwasher a second later while House returned condiments to the fridge.

"Are you enjoying retirement?" Cuddy asked her dad then, momentarily placing a hand on his shoulder to support herself as she got up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, happy to see him.

"It's quite an adjustment," he admitted honestly, chucking Evie's chin as he finished wiping her off before picking her up again, settling her against his chest. "But so far I can't complain. Golfing anytime I want, working on all the projects in my workshop that I've been too busy up until now to finish… Your mom keeps telling me to look at it as a really long vacation," he added with an eye roll.

Cuddy smiled but then turned with him to head outside, seeing House freeing a forlorn Cookie Monster who scampered in the direction Rachel had gone as soon as he was loose.

"Any bids on the house?" she inquired next.

"A few but none that we've seriously entertained yet," he responded with a shrug.

"But mom's still hoping for August?" Cuddy checked, waiting for House to step outside before closing the sliding glass door behind him.

Richard looked House's way as he stepped around them to go down the stairs with the pup, not interrupting their conversation, a slight frown on her father's face as he contemplated him. But then he nodded.

Cuddy didn't miss the look that her dad had given House and immediately knew her dad was cataloguing their relationship, already looking for hints of what was going on between them. Biting her lip, she closed her eyes briefly before refocusing. "Have you found a house you're thinking about buying?" she asked.

Richard shot a look at her then, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. "Your _mother _seems to think we should speak with you about renting your place until we find something. Did _you _plant that idea in her head?"

Cuddy met his gaze in wide-eyed surprise, shaking her head a second later even as she thought about it and inclined her head while stating, "That's actually not a bad idea though if you sell the house before finding something. I mean, you wouldn't have to _rent it_. You could stay there without a problem. But what I'm saying is that it would work out all around. You'd be able to tour houses more easily if you were closer and I wouldn't have to worry about the house sitting there vacant, just waiting to be broken into."

Richard continued to eye her but then somewhat circumspectly asked, "And exactly what are _your _plans?"

Cuddy moistened her lips, otherwise trying to mask her reaction to his question even as her stomach filled with butterflies. Glancing House's direction out of the corner of her eye to see him where he stood chatting with her mom once more, Cookie Monster chewing grass at his feet, she then returned her attention to her dad. "I intend to live here as long as House will let me," she admitted honestly.

Richard frowned, glancing House's direction as she had a second before, but finally asked, "And why is that?"

"I…" Cuddy wasn't sure what she wanted to say. She didn't want to argue with her father when he'd just gotten here and yet… even knowing the only answer he _might _readily accept, she didn't want to hedge in her response. Straightening unbeknownst to herself, she shook her hair back out of her face before reaching out to take Evie from him as she said, "I love him dad. I won't leave here unless he forces me to. And besides," she reluctantly included, knowing he would have rather she'd started with this. "The girls need the both of us. It's best for them that we live together as a family."

Ignoring what she'd said, he pointed out, "You said you weren't sleeping together."

Cuddy was mortified to have him say that here and now, forcing her to look at him while he said it, but she only closed her eyes briefly before looking away as she simply said, "No. We aren't."

When her dad made no comment, she gathered courage and met his gaze before pressing on to say, "But that's not because I don't want to share his bed."

Now it was her dad's turn to look embarrassed and a part of Cuddy appreciated that even while she hoped this conversation would come to a close soon.

"I don't approve," he told her solemnly after a minute. "I… don't think you would have… gone through such a rough patch if it hadn't been for him."

Cuddy looked House's way before her eyes dropped to Evie. Taking in a deep breath, she argued, "I wouldn't have _survived _my… rough patch, if not for him. And my daughter wouldn't be here if not for him. He… _saved _the both of us. We _both _have him to thank for that."

"And it's not fair to anyone for you to be with him out of gratitude," her father quickly interrupted to point out.

Cuddy shook her head adamantly. "This isn't about gratitude, dad. This is… _He is _where my heart is. House… I _love him. I ALWAYS have. _It's… always been him. It always _will be him. _There will never be anyone else."

Pressing a kiss to Evie's brow as the baby babbled quietly in her arms, sucking on one fist, Cuddy turned her head once more to see House's eyes upon her, her mother currently in the playhouse with Rachel. Meeting his gaze, she murmured, "I love him more than he'll ever know. Certainly more than he'd ever _believe_. I need him, dad. And he doesn't know it perhaps but…. he needs me too."

House looked away a second later and Cuddy dropped her gaze momentarily before hearing her father sigh wearily, rubbing his face a second before he quietly said, "We'll talk more about this later."

"What's there to talk _about?_" Cuddy countered gently. "I love him, dad. There's no argument that can be made to change that."

Richard's lips met in a firm line but his head bobbed slightly in acknowledgement of what she said before he changed the subject, calling out to Rachel, "Hey! Who's going to show _me _around this swing set?"

"Me show you grampa!" Rachel yelled back excitedly, scrambling out of the clubhouse so that she could wave him in her direction.

Cuddy watched him go, breathing a sigh of relief before she turned to look at House once more, even while bending her head to press another kiss to Evie's cheek. House was once more looking at her, dropping his gaze only once her eyes locked with his. She wondered what he was thinking even as she knew he couldn't have heard her conversation with her dad. Biting her lip, she sighed again, this time in sadness, wishing once more that their relationship was such that her father's fears would be justified, not about them sleeping together but… as far as in House actually _wanting _her to love him the way she did and wished to freely express to him, accepting her love readily. Maybe it yet could be that way. She would never cease to hope, she promised herself. Even if only time would tell.

* * *

House released a breath as he moved away from everyone, pretending he was following the dog on his exploratory trek across the lawn, when in actuality he was just trying to distance himself until he could get his thoughts together, Cookie Monster wandering about only because House continued to follow him.

He hadn't needed to hear the particulars to gather that he was the topic of discussion between Cuddy and her father. He had read that in Cuddy's eyes, even as he had gathered from the way she'd looked at him, what her point had been in whatever she'd said to Richard. It also didn't take a genius to realize that Cuddy's dad didn't want her to have anything to do with him, despite Richard's past moments of… expressing gratitude for things House _had _done right in… _someone's eyes, _whether Evelyn's or Richard's himself. So he could assume the conversation had gone somewhat along the lines of Cuddy _professing her undying love _while Richard tried to talk some _sense_ into her. In truth then, House wouldn't even have been all that surprised had he heard the man when he'd told Cuddy he in part blamed House for what she'd gone through in past months. It wasn't like that was a foreign concept to House either. And frankly, if the truth were to be told, House was almost… grateful to know that Richard was still against them, even when there was no "them" in the first place. It just made for one more safety net, as far as he was concerned, since as it was, House found himself constantly fighting _himself _on wanting to both repel Cuddy away from him and yet… keep her close at hand. One more thing against "them" wasn't… a _hindrance_, then, but a safeguard when he seemed to need all the safeguards he could get, no matter _where _they came from.

The truth was then that Cuddy's… love _was yet _a very real temptation to him, even if he hated himself for having that be true. Her _wanting to love him…_ Well, he was weak, wasn't he? Half of him wanting to accept her love after all that had happened between them, even _despite it, _while the more reasonable half of him said it could never work. _Would never work._ After years and years of _knowing _he was not the kind of person who would _ever_ be… _capable _of loving someone else, his own need to protect himself too strong, _embracing _loneliness like others embraced love… He… Well, it _was ridiculous after all _to… find himself toeing this line, battling against this frustrating, nonsensical desire to… let himself love her; to let himself _accept _her love. But… all he really had to do was look at the facts, right? He couldn't offer her anything. And her love could… only last so long. It came with its own limits. Love always did.

No, House determined. He was _glad _Richard was here. He… would serve to balance out House's own mother nicely in where she stood regarding he and Cuddy. Even the playing cards a bit, maybe even balancing out Evelyn's desire to see House and Cuddy find happiness together, if his opposition was as strong as House assumed it would be. Thinking of his mother and John then, he couldn't help comparing himself despite hating himself for doing so. Oh, she had loved John, of that House did not doubt. But loving a man like that had always seemed punishment enough. Could he really fault Richard if he thought the same thing about _him?_ That Cuddy's love for him was punishment enough without it ever going anywhere from here on out? House knew _he _didn't need any more suffering. No. The part of him that… that wanted Cuddy would just have to… get over it. Because Richard wouldn't get any argument from House on this one. He had to find a way to stop loving her. He knew that. It would just… take time. Luckily, time seemed to be all he had.

* * *

"_**I was born in the arms of imaginary friends  
Free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I've been  
Then you come crashing in, like the realest thing  
Trying my best to understand all that your love can bring**__**half of my heart**__**'s got a grip on the situation  
Half of my heart takes time  
Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you  
That I can't keep loving you (can't keep loving you)  
Oh, with half of my heart**_

_**Oh**_

_**I was made to believe I'd never love somebody else**_  
_**I made a plan, stay the man who can only love himself**_  
_**Lonely was the song I sang, 'til the day you came**_  
_**Showing me another way and all that my love can bring**_

_**Oh half of my heart's got a grip on the situation**_  
_**Half of my heart takes time**_  
_**Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you**_  
_**That I can't keep loving you (can't keep loving you)**_  
_**Och, with half of my heart**_  
_**With half of my heart**_

_**Your faith is strong**_  
_**But I can only fall short for so long**_  
_**Down the road, later on**_  
_**You will hate that I never gave more to you than half of my heart**_  
_**But I can't stop loving you (I can't stop loving you)**_  
_**But I can't stop loving you (I can't stop loving you)**_  
_**But I can't stop loving you with half of my...**_

_**Half of my heart**_  
_**Half of my heart**_

_**Half of my heart's got a real good imagination**_  
_**Half of my heart's got you**_  
_**Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you**_  
_**That half of my heart won't do**_

_**Half of my heart is a shotgun wedding to a bride with a paper ring**_  
_**And half of my heart is the part of a man who's never truly loved anything**_

_**Half of my heart**_  
_**Oh, half of my heart**_  
_**Half of my heart**_  
_**Oh, half of my heart**_  
_**Half of my heart**_  
_**Oh, half of my heart**_

_**Half of my heart**_

_**Oh, half of my heart"**_

* * *

Song: "Half of My Heart" (John Mayer feat. Taylor Swift)


	99. King of Wishful Thinking

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Going with an older song for this chapter! Hope you enjoy it!)_

* * *

"And what has _you _so preoccupied and lost in thought?" Evelyn inquired, having come alongside House unbeknownst to him.

House's lips curved upwards slightly as he met her eyes and then his smile grew, albeit lopsidedly, as he admitted jokingly, "Richard doesn't seem all that fond of me this weekend for some reason."

"_Oh_," Evelyn huffed out, shaking her head dismissively. "Don't you worry about _him. _He's just being an old worry wart. He can see his daughter loves you and it makes him protective. He's _always _been like that," she finished, nodding pointedly in Richard's direction.

House harrumphed but was quick to carelessly reply, "He doesn't have to worry about _me. _I'm not interested in messing with that minefield again."

"Keep telling yourself that," Evelyn replied knowingly, patting his arm in affection. "Maybe one day you'll sound halfway convincing."

House watched her as she turned and walked away then, his face having been wiped clean of his carefree expression of a moment before, quickly replaced by a small scowl, his eyes narrowed in annoyance, mostly that she seemed to see right through him without exerting any effort at all.

Shaking himself when Richard met his gaze, he straightened before sighing wearily, heading back to the group to _pretend anyway _that he was halfway decent at small talk. That way maybe Richard would stick to getting after Cuddy, rather than thinking he also needed to have a word with House himself in respects to his beloved daughter.

* * *

Lunch had actually been a pleasant affair, Cuddy and Evelyn having made sandwiches before putting together a salad while House made soup, Richard left with the responsibility of entertaining the grandkids, which he seemed to do with great pleasure. It wasn't until Blythe showed up at 2 p.m. that House began to contemplate whether "inviting" all of them for the weekend had been all that wise.

It oddly enough _wasn't_ due to her position regarding his relationship with Cuddy though. No. In fact, she seemed a little _leery_ of Cuddy and the only plausible reason House could attribute that to was perhaps the phone calls Cuddy had put in, interfering in the situation on his behalf. It wasn't that she was rude to Cuddy or anything. She was actually extremely respectful during every interaction the two of them had. It was just that every time they spoke, it was either because Cuddy initiated the conversation or because Blythe was trying too hard to _not _make it seem like she was somewhat uncomfortable around her, and yet giving herself away in House's eyes since she was always moistening her lips before answering Cuddy or saying something to her in question format rather than as a statement. He'd never seen his mother so… _hesitant_.

In any case, his mother's opinion regarding his relationship with Cuddy, in _whatever _shape it came in, seemed irrelevant at present. No, the _problem_ was that from the moment she came in the house, she fussed over him, practically ringing her hands in her anxiety to… be the perfect, dutiful mother or _whatever _she seemed to be aiming for. And somewhere within him, House _had _been aware that this would be their first face-to-face encounter since she'd just walked out of his house as if nothing had happened a couple weeks back, but at the same time, so much had happened since then that he… hadn't really focused on that fact until it seemed like he had no _choice _but to focus on that fact, as it was all his _mother_ seemed to be focusing on. Indeed, _fixating upon. Both _Richard and Evelyn had shot curious looks his way, watching how his mother hovered about him, never saying anything that would explain her sudden preoccupation with whether he was warm enough, feeling perfectly well, needed her to get him something, or tend to whatever need crept up with the girls. It was extremely disconcerting and yet oddly, it reminded him _a lot _of how Cuddy had been when she'd first come back into the picture. Not really wanting to call her on it, for then he'd probably actually have to _talk _to her about the past once more, the last thing on his agenda this weekend, he instead braced himself to just suffer _through_ it, hoping it would pass as it more or less had with Cuddy. Stealing a glance once more at his mother where she stood with Evie in her arms, Evelyn having engaged her in a conversation about gardening, House looked away when he found his mother's eyes yet on him, not wanting to give her any reason to leave her current tranquil conversation to once more perch near his lawn chair, expectantly anticipating his every real or imagined need.

* * *

Cuddy would have laughed at the insanity around her if House didn't look so uncomfortable. Instead she just felt bad for him. It was obvious that Blythe was trying way too hard, but Cuddy really couldn't blame her for that, even as she felt _awful _for the position House had found himself in once Blythe had entered the picture. For her part, things with Blythe were perfectly fine. Whatever issues that had sprung up between them in the past were set aside as Blythe tended to her son, if slightly overbearingly in her approach to doing so, _occasionally _annoying Cuddy herself in doing something for him when Cuddy had already gotten up to see to it. But in truth, Blythe's appearance on the scene had not evoked the doubts and fears Cuddy had been worried about cropping up; for which Cuddy was relieved, even grateful. Blythe really hadn't said much of _anything_ to her. And what she had, had been expressed in the most tentative, unpretentious manner possible. No, it looked quite clear at present that _Cuddy's _cross to bear this weekend would be that of her father, who, when he _wasn't _eyeing Blythe like she was a creature that had recently crawled out from the abyss, had his gaze fastened upon _her, _something ticking in his cheek if she smiled too much or laughed at something House said or if her tone in talking to or _about_ House became too… tender.

Worrying her lip, she quickly assessed how many hours they would all probably stay at the house before heading their separate ways, reuniting here bright and early tomorrow morning for a special Father's Day breakfast the women had jointly agreed to fix. Unfortunately, nightfall was a long ways off yet. Plenty of hours therefore remained to both her and House to just… grin and bear it.

It wasn't until Cuddy saw her father take the free lawn chair beside House that she realized her mistake in thinking if she kept a small distance between them, he'd be less likely to try and pull her into another conversation about what was in her best interests. Groaning internally, she cringed, hoping whatever he had to say, it would be as harmless as talking about the sudden change in the weather they were experiencing or… _gardening, _she added desperately, looking at Blythe and her mom again, rather than anything that might reveal his position regarding… _her and House_.

* * *

House raised an eyebrow as Richard sank into the chair beside him, glancing Cuddy's way momentarily before seeing her cringe and quickly wiping his own face clean of emotion in response. Looking away, he checked casually on Rachel to see where she was and what she was currently up too, a corner of his mouth drifting up as she raced about with Cookie Monster barking playfully at her heels, Rachel shrieking with glee.

It wasn't until Richard spoke up, his own eyes on Rachel, that House allowed his eyes to stray towards the other man.

"There's something about having a daughter that brings out the protective instinct in a man," Richard said then.

The corner of House's mouth twitched but he managed to keep his mask on before nodding his agreement silently, returning his gaze to Rachel who was giggling madly as she launched herself up the stairs to her clubhouse, narrowly evading Cookie Monster's tongue as he tried to lick her feet.

"You'll do anything you have to, to protect them, whether it's from an outside force or even just from themselves," Richard continued.

"That's true," House conceded, figuring the man would eventually want more than a nonverbal acknowledgement of his being in accordance with what Richard had to say and hoping to just get it over with now. Actually, he kind of had to admit he was enjoying Richard's angle. He'd gone the safe route perhaps, a route House probably wouldn't have chosen himself in Richard's place, but which was yet… _wise_, especially with so many women about who had already indicated in one way or another, their protectiveness towards _House _today_. _In going this route, _had _any of the women overheard, Richard would still escape their ire, if not their suspicion.

"It doesn't get any easier when they grow up," Richard said then. "In fact, it often gets _harder._"

Enjoying Richard's angle or not, House now couldn't deny that he kind of had a desire to play around with Richard a little; see how easy it was to shake him up. Not resisting the urge any longer, he threw out before Richard could charge forward, "I don't doubt that. Too bad we can't lock them up."

Richard slowly turned his head to study House, who maintained an easy expression. Then he inclined his head in acknowledgement of what House had said before returning his gaze to Rachel, who House still had his attention fastened on, not daring to look Cuddy's way even while the temptation existed, wanting to know what she was thinking of her father's conversation with him to gauge her suspiciousness and how close she was to stepping in.

"Can't lock them up," Richard repeated. "But sometimes one can… _neutralize _the risk."

House almost snorted at that statement, managing to disguise it even if poorly, as a cough at the last second. "Neutralize the risk?" he echoed seriously, not daring to look Richard's way now in fear that he'd lose it and start laughing.

Richard just nodded.

"And how would a protective father… do that?" House asked when Richard did not continue, doing his best to come across as merely curious.

"Oh there are ways," Cuddy's dad said evenly.

"What are you guys talking about?" Cuddy's tentative voice came to them then, cutting off House's opportunity to probe a little bit more into Richard's psyche and leaving him a bit disappointed at that.

"How often you should sharpen your chainsaw blade and what the best size blade is for the job involved," Richard immediately answered apathetically.

House choked on his spit at the off-the-cuff response, but thankfully that reaction was disguised easily enough as a reaction to _another_ external force, being that Rachel chose that moment to run to him, launching herself in daddy's lap as she ran from Cookie Monster once more, giving him hardly a split second to anticipate her and adjust himself to protect his bad thigh from the impact as his arms took the brunt of it, catching her mid-leap.

"_Rachel!_" Cuddy immediately gasped, forgetting her preoccupation over what her father might be up to in rushing to House's side, her hand quickly moving to his arm as if to soothe him as her eyes worriedly checked his expression for signs of pain. "You _can't _jump on daddy like that! You could have hurt him!"

"But she didn't and daddy's fine," House was quick to dismiss, already seeing Rachel's lip trembling at her mother's rebuke. "Rachel just wanted to cuddle with daddy, right baby?" he hurriedly added, his voice low and soothing as he wrapped an arm around her to haul her closer to him, not even aware he'd used one of the endearments Cuddy was prone to use with the girls.

Rachel's lip remained out but she nodded solemnly, one hand rubbing her face meekly before she turned her head to burrow her face in House's chest and escape everyone's eyes, House then resituating her legs so that she'd be more comfortable.

Cuddy bit her lip but relented even as Blythe stepped up to fuss over House too, having quickly deposited Evie in Evelyn's arms to go to her son.

"Are you okay, dear?" she worriedly asked, practically pushing Cuddy out of her way, frowning as she inspected his face for any hint of pain.

"I'm fine," he dryly mumbled, further frustrated by the attention when it was clear to everyone around that it centered around his bad leg, his… _obvious_ weak point to all present. "Rachel and daddy are just going to chill together for a while," he continued. "Someone missed her nap today and just needs a cuddle. _Relax_. _Everyone_. I'm _fine_."

Reluctantly the women dispersed, leaving Rachel with House as Evelyn turned to head in the house, Evie needing a diaper change. When Richard got up a second later, heading into the house, House dropped his head back, sighing wearily, even as he recognized that Richard's conversation with him today would be a source of amusement to him for years to come. _Chainsaw blades, indeed._

* * *

"So what _exactly _were you and Greg just discussing?" Evelyn asked Richard with narrowed eyes when he entered Evie's room mid diaper change.

"Nothing," he nonchalantly contested, reaching out to slip his finger in Evie's fist as Evelyn fastened the tabs on her diaper.

She scoffed, not believing him for a second.

A smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, he glanced at her expression, lips firmly pressed against one another as she shook her head, eyes still on Evie. "I didn't even get a chance to step up my intimidation routine before we were interrupted."

Evelyn rolled her eyes then, one corner of her mouth lifting at how ridiculous her husband could be. "I don't think House is one to be intimidated," she murmured, straightening the pretty little dress Evie had on before lifting her back up.

"Probably not," Richard admitted with a sigh, taking the baby from her. "But it can't hurt to try."

"Richard, you better start behaving yourself," she warned him, shaking a finger his way, her head tilted sternly to the side. "Greg has _yet _to pick a fight with you, in all these months. You'll get no sympathy from me if you push him too far."

"_Relax,_" he mumbled with a smile, blowing off her warning before rubbing his nose against Evie's neck, smiling wider when she chortled, kicking her legs happily. "Greg's a big boy. He can handle it."

Evelyn shook her head in resignation but then smiled at the baby before placing her hand on Richard's shoulder, leaning in to kiss the baby's cheek soundly before leading the way out of the room.

* * *

Cuddy frowned, casting a glance around to see where House had gone to. They'd barbecued dinner on the grill only to hurry it all inside when the sky opened up and began to pour down an unexpected rainfall, brief though it ended up being. He'd been present throughout dinner and then she vaguely remembered him suggesting hide 'n seek with Rachel to occupy her while the adults cleaned up, but she really couldn't remember seeing him since.

"Rachel," she spoke up, catching sight of her daughter sitting on the floor, petting Cookie Monster. "Where's daddy?"

"Me not know," Rachel replied. "He disappeareded. "Me not find him anywhere."

Suspicious now, knowing that House's disappearance merited her skepticism since he never usually hid where Rachel wouldn't quickly find him, she set aside the dishtowel she still had in her hands, her hand squeezing her mother's shoulder affectionately where she sat feeding a half-asleep Evie a bottle, before continuing on, pausing in each doorway on the main floor to scan within for him.

"Looking for House?" her dad asked her probingly when she entered the living room where he sat reading the paper.

"Have you seen him?" she asked, not missing the pointed look he gave her even as she ignored it at the same time.

"Nope," he replied, flipping the newspaper section in his hands over, his gaze returning to the paper.

Cuddy wasn't so sure he'd tell her if he had. Sighing, she turned, not about to risk being pulled into a conversation centering on herself and House, if she could help it.

"Blythe, have you seen your son?" she inquired as she passed her, putting away the now dry cups.

"No," Blythe answered, frowning slightly. "I could look for him though," she was quick to offer.

"That's okay," Cuddy replied, recognizing that this was probably the first time all day that she _hadn't _seen Blythe within a ten foot span of wherever House was. "I'm sure I'll find him."

Moving on, she opened the basement door to continue her search before coming back upstairs to check the second story. If he _had _snuck away to escape for a while, there was no way she was going to let him get away with it for long. Not when she couldn't leave herself. If she had to suffer, so did he. No matter what weekend this was.

* * *

"House, what are you doing out here?" Cuddy muttered, her eyes narrowing as she gave him a dirty look from where she stood on the back ladder to the clubhouse, having spent the past several minutes searching everywhere for him.

"Playing hide 'n seek," he suggested, glancing behind her to make sure she was alone.

"Rachel gave up looking for you forty-five minutes ago," Cuddy dryly announced.

"Yeah, I kinda figured," he admitted semi-reluctantly, having known she'd lose interest in the game after a few minutes and find herself easily distracted with the presence of so many guests in their house.

"You also knew the rules were she had to stay in the house," she added skeptically.

House just shrugged noncommittally.

"Then why didn't you come in?" she finally inquired pointedly, turning so as to sit in the entrance, looking over her shoulder at him as she waited for his response. "Why did you leave the house in the _first place?"_

Hearing the sliding glass door, House reached out quickly and practically dragged Cuddy within the clubhouse, covering her mouth before she could protest, preempting further lecture as well.

"Shh!" he harshly hissed in her ear, his hand not leaving her mouth as he kept a grip around her, not paying her any mind as he listened for further evidence that someone was looking for them.

Cuddy stopped struggling, leaning back against his chest to at least… take advantage of the moment, while she waited for him to stop being ridiculous and remove his hand.

"Keep your volume down," he mumbled to her once he heard the sliding glass door close again, finally dropping his hand from her mouth.

Placing her head back against his shoulder so that she could see him, she rolled her eyes but asked, "What _in the world_ do you think you are doing?"

"_Taking a breather!_ What does it _look like?_" he snidely remarked before realizing just how close they were, giving her a slight push as he muttered, "You can move now."

Cuddy expelled her breath but sat up, shaking her head at him. "That wasn't very nice, abandoning me with all of them," she clarified, even as she scooted away only to scoot back against the wall to his side.

"Yeah, well they didn't show up for _your _Mother's Day weekend," he argued cattily. "So you really don't get to complain. And besides, you're a big girl. You can handle it."

Cuddy scoffed but then crossed her arms over her chest before pointing out, "We can't just leave the girls with them and expect them to…"

"_Why not?_" House interrupted with a raised eyebrow. "Your parents raised you and you turned out okay. And I survived _my _mother. What'll it hurt for them to watch the girls for a while? It's nothing they've never done before."

"House," Cuddy muttered, her lips firmly set against each other as she looked at him.

"Hey," he replied, hands up in the air now. "_I'm _not keeping you here. Go back in there if you want. Just leave me with my peace for a few minutes more. _Don't you dare _tell them where I am. _Especially _my mother. I just narrowly _avoided_ her smothering."

Cuddy laughed then, softening in her disposition, not really… wanting to leave the clubhouse and a stolen moment away with him, anyhow.

Reclining her head back against the wall, she sighed tiredly, letting the tension melt away as she just sat there beside him, enjoying the peace and quiet that could really only last so long.

House looked at her and then muttered pointedly, "Yeah. It's _so_ obvious how strongly you feel about needing to go back inside."

Cuddy's head rotated against the wall to meet his gaze as she drew her knees up, wrapping an arm around them before propping an elbow up to rest her chin in her hand as she stared at him. Smiling slightly, she whispered, "Be quiet or they'll find us."

House harrumphed but said no more, that being exactly what he _didn't _want.

"Is this a foreshadowing of the future?" Cuddy asked after a couple minutes had passed. "Us hiding away in the girls' clubhouse?"

"Only during family events and reunions," he replied evenly, stealing a glance out the side to see what he could of the back of the house, wanting to be sure no one was lurking about.

Cuddy laughed softly but then turned serious and asked, "Is my dad driving you crazy too?"

House shook his head. "Nope," he responded easily.

Cuddy blew her bangs out of her face, her hand releasing her chin to brush back her hair a second later. "He's driving me crazy," she admitted wryly.

House glanced her way before looking away again, reluctantly mumbling, "That's because you're stubborn and don't like what he has to say since it… isn't what you want to hear."

Cuddy raised an eyebrow, studying him for a second before she licked her lips and quietly asked, "And what do I want to hear, since you seem to know so much without having been a part of _any _of his conversations with me today?"

House's lips pressed together, his eyes avoiding hers, but then he shrugged and mumbled, "What does any kid want from their parents? His approval I suppose."

"Approval of _what?_" she pressed curiously.

House rolled his eyes at her now but finally threw out, "Your desire to _be with_… me."

Cuddy stopped breathing for a second as she stared at him, trying to read him. Moistening her lips once more, she murmured, "His reasoning for being against it is faulty."

"Does it matter?" House asked quietly with a shrug.

"_Yes it matters_," she began defensively.

But House shook his head, interrupting her. "No. That's… not what I meant. He… he's your _dad, _Cuddy. Cut the guy a break. He wants the best for you. He's trying to look out for you. Give him… _some credit._"

"Is that what you're going to do with our girls?" Cuddy queried after a pause, her tone now tender, a smile playing on her lips.

"_Damn straight_," he exclaimed assertively without hesitation, his head bobbing adamantly.

Cuddy laughed but when her laughter died, she slid closer to him ever so slowly, resting just the smallest amount against him, wanting more than anything to lay her head on his shoulder but… not quite having the gumption to do so, too sensitive to crowding him. "I love you, House," she whispered after a second, House not having protested to her creeping his way.

House tried to clear his throat but all the same, when he murmured "_Cuddy_," it came out scratchy.

But she didn't say anything more, leaving it at that.

Surprisingly, _House_ chose not to let the subject drop. "Why?" he reluctantly inquired, his tone gruff, not meeting her gaze.

Cuddy was caught off-guard by the question and sucked in a breath, not knowing how to best answer that and honestly, only too surprised at having him ask. Moistening her lips, she parted them, taking a breath before softly saying, "I don't know. I… can't help myself. You're… so much a part of me. And you have been for so long. It'd be easier to stop breathing than to live without you. You're in my blood. And every day I just… love you more."

"I can't give you what you want, Cuddy," he finally mumbled, his hand drawing her eyes to his leg where he was massaging his bad thigh now.

"All I want is to be close to you," she replied softly, knowing better than to tell him how many times he'd already told her exactly that without it making any difference whatsoever to her. "That's all I want."

"You can't get much closer than this," he dryly muttered, not knowing a better way of responding to what she'd said, right on the spot.

"I want to be with you," she expanded then, puffing out a breath of air.

"You currently live in my house. You are with me practically around the clock, except when we're working," he countered, trying to show her that what she said wasn't really the full extent of what she _meant, _even if he did so in a roundabout way_._

"That's enough for now," she accepted, trying to appease him.

"No it's not," House said after a pause, shaking his head. "Or maybe 'now' is the key word. You'll never settle for that in the long term, Cuddy. Right at this moment maybe but…"

"House," she interrupted, "I _love you. _I want to _be with you. _I want… to one day have you _want_ to be with me too. And I don't… mean in a sexual way. I mean that… I hope the day will come when you will trust me – both to love you wholly and to _accept your love. Readily. Completely. Truly. _But right now, I do just want to… be with you."

House frowned, not knowing how to force the issue when Cuddy was in a "_sticking to her guns" _mode.

Rather than pursue the conversation further, he backed off. "Evie's probably ready to be laid down," he just said, pushing himself away from the wall.

Cuddy nodded slowly, knowing he'd said as much as he was going to at present. "Help me up?" she asked then, not because she couldn't easily push herself upright as well but more because… she wanted to hold his hand if only for a second.

House rolled his eyes but held his hand out, steadying himself as he pulled her up, not missing the way she held on to his hand as long as she could reasonably get away with before finally releasing it as he gestured her to go down the ladder first.

Giving him an affectionate smile, she stepped forward before turning to lower herself down the ladder, her eyes locked on his as she descended, waiting a second more for him to follow before turning with him to go towards the house, side by side.

* * *

_Later that night at Cuddy's house_

"Richard, will you just tell me what you are thinking so that we can get some sleep?" Evelyn demanded wearily, not turning in the bed to face him as she lay there utterly exhausted and yet unable to sleep because as strange as it was, there were just nights when she couldn't drift off herself until _his_ breathing had evened out.

"Go to sleep," he grumpily told her. "_I'm_ not keeping you up."

Sighing, she flipped in the bed to face him where he lay on his side facing her. Her expression easing, she smiled tiredly but said softly, "You are actually but it's not really your fault. Come on; tell me what's bothering you."

He harrumphed and glanced away but then brought his eyes back to her, meeting hers in the faint moonlight entering the bedroom window. "She loves him," he quietly replied.

"But I've been telling you that for months," she reminded him, her eyes tracing over his features.

"I don't like it," he grunted.

Evelyn laughed ever so quietly before saying, "I seem to remember my dad not being all that fond of you and yet that didn't stop us."

"That was different," he countered.

"I don't doubt that but how?" she asked, an eyebrow raised as she studied him.

"We were kids," Richard threw out.

"And they aren't anymore," Evelyn completed, still not understanding where he was going with this.

"She ought to know better," he finally mumbled.

Evelyn stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue.

"She's going to get hurt," he said simply after a moment.

"And you don't think she isn't hurting now?" Evelyn queried, propping herself up now on an elbow.

"Well then, all the more reason for her to find another way to make this work with the baby, _outside _of seeing him all the time, living with him…" Richard argued. "If living with him hurts her…"

Evelyn shook her head, giving him a pointed look. "That's not what I meant and you know it. She and Greg… they _need_ each other. And they love each other. They just… have a lot to work through before they can completely find their way to one another. And don't give me that look like your daughter is perfection itself and above reproach because _neither one _of our daughters is perfect and this situation is partly Lisa's fault, if not _mostly_ her fault. You can't blame it _all_ on Greg. She hurts now because he holds her at a distance and she wants so much to be with him. But he wouldn't hold her at a distance if she hadn't hurt him so badly in the past."

Richard huffed out a breath and mumbled, "At least Lucas I could _accept._"

Evelyn scoffed her frustration but countered, "You _accepted _Lucas because of Rachel. Because she needed a father and he was young and there whenever Lisa needed a… _babysitter_. I _hardly think _that you thought he was good enough for her though."

It was Richard's turn to scoff as he lay down on his back, his arms folding beneath his head. "I accepted Lucas because I was fairly certain that if need be I could control him. And because Lisa was making rational decisions at the time, not… losing her head _over a man_."

Evelyn bit her lip as she considered this statement and then realized out loud, "You accepted _Lucas_ because if their relationship was to go south at some point or something was to happen to him, you felt she'd be _just fine_. You saw him as someone who could compliment her life for as long as it lasted but who wouldn't create in her some sort of dependency making him _indispensible_."

When Richard didn't immediately respond, her brow rose all the more. "_That's _why you are having such a hard time now. You don't see what happened after Lucas left as being directly related to _Lucas. _You didn't even care about Lucas. You just see it as being all about _Greg _and whatever happened between them during those months to displace Lucas's position in her life. That's why you are fighting yourself over this. You _know _Greg is what Lisa wants, which is all the worse for you because you know too that he's what she's _always wanted,_ and… you worry that if it doesn't work out or something happens to him, she won't survive it this time, already being as '_sucked in to the vortex_' as she is."

"I'm not fighting anything," Richard countered irritably.

But Evelyn wasn't swallowing any of it. Releasing her breath semi-disbelievingly, she corrected, "You are _so _fighting this! Because you see him with the girls and realize that he's capable of more than you ever gave him credit for and yet… you keep thinking of Lisa and how she was when she came home on break from med school."

"Well then my doubts are _justified,_" he interrupted to declare, pushing himself upright to stare at her. "Greg House happened and my little girl came home broken. Greg House happened again and my little girl gave up her baby, cycled into a terrible depression, gave up _completely_ and was just _barely _brought back from it all and now… Greg House is happening and what's worse, I'm not _here _to know what all is happening except that it is _obvious _she's once more fallen for him. What's going to happen this time? Seriously, Evelyn? Tell me. Because I do not want to sit by and watch the bottom fall out for my baby _again _and then have to explain to myself or anyone else why I didn't keep it from happening."

"Oh Richard," Evelyn whispered sympathetically, pushing herself upright as well, her hand going out to rest on his chest.

But he just huffed out a breath and turned away onto his other side, further upset now.

"Our girls are grown up. They have their own lives, make their own mistakes, and live with their own consequences. We can't _protect them anymore. _They aren't children," she murmured tenderly. "They're adults."

When he still made no move to turn towards her, not even glancing her way, Evelyn sighed and reminded him, "You know, we don't _know _all the facts. We don't know all that happened. But… haven't we witnessed or at least _heard _about countless times in the last year or two where Greg did all he knew how to in order to protect Lisa in one way or another? To protect _the girls?_ I understand you wanting to protect her but… what makes you think he has some agenda that requires you to protect her from him?"

"That's the worst part. He _doesn't_ have an agenda. If he did, I could come up with countermeasures. But he doesn't. He doesn't want anything from her. Nothing he's willing to _recognize_. That just makes it worse though. Because _she _has things she wants and needs from him. _She's convinced _she wants and needs _him. _And we're just back to the start of it all over again. Lisa's headstrong. She wants what she wants and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says. She goes after it. But what happens when…? House can say he doesn't want her but eventually… He won't be able to _resist her. _I'll concede that she's perhaps made some mistakes," he hedged still, "But mistakes or not, she's got a lot to offer. His resistance will eventually crumble. And _then what? _What will be the aftermath of the _next _fallout?"

Evelyn rubbed at her temples for a moment, not really knowing what to say to him anymore. Finally she murmured, "I think… the difference this time is they are both so afraid of screwing it up that they haven't rushed into _anything. _Lisa wants to. I know she does. But Greg won't let her rush him. He keeps... rebuffing her efforts. And while that's hard on her, I think reality is that _he _doesn't think he will survive another go around. And he's got all his defenses up to try and keep her out, independent of how much he really does love her. I guess that's why I'm sure that this time… when the walls come down, things will work out. Because they will _make it work out. _It's not just them anymore. And Greg thinks about that all the time. He… from what he's implied to me, his upbringing wasn't a smooth one. I don't think his father was all that interested in him or in… fatherhood. That's at least partly why he takes his role with the girls so seriously. He's terrified of making his father's mistakes. And that cautiousness, that protectiveness of the girls, spills out into doing whatever he has to in order to protect himself from Lisa so as to also protect them. When they… come together, it will be with the understanding that there's… no going back. He won't commit to that until he's certain. He's too hesitant now. He has too many other factors to take into account. And believe it or not, he's more than aware that doing what's best for the girls requires him to also think about what's best for Lisa. He's protective of her. More than you think. In time, you'll see that."

Richard sighed wearily but lay back down on the bed, gently tugging Evelyn down and into him a moment later. "I hope you're right," he said simply because falling silent, a hand stroking through his wife's hair where she lay with her head on his chest.

"I know I am," she murmured softly, wrapping her arm around him to stroke his side through his t-shirt as she invited sleep to draw her away.

* * *

June 19th, 2011 (Father's Day)

House woke up to the creak of his door opening, lifting his head off the pillow slightly to watch Rachel as upon seeing him awake she raced across the floor with baby G tucked under an arm, struggling to climb up on his bed a second later. Reaching for her, he pulled her up before dropping his head back on the pillow.

"Happy daddy day," Rachel announced cheerfully, throwing her arms around his neck and half choking him as he tried to wake himself up.

"Rachel, I told you that you had to wait until daddy _woke up_, not that you could wake him," Cuddy said resignedly, her voice coming from the doorway where she stood with Evie in a fresh diaper but nothing else, giving Rachel a pointed look, her free hand on her hip.

"I open the door and he awake," Rachel explained after releasing him to look wide-eyed at her mommy, one hand up in supplication.

House closed his eyes, dropping his head once again to the pillow, but chuckled gruffly before lifting the hand that wasn't trapped behind Rachel to rub his face hard.

Cuddy sighed but there was really nothing she could do about it now. A slow smile taking over her lips and replacing the chagrined expression she'd thrown his way over how they'd burst into his room, she apologized before saying, "Happy Father's Day, House."

"I'm going back to bed," he mumbled before flipping over, burrowing his face in his pillow.

Cuddy laughed but held out her hand in Rachel's direction. "Come on. Let's let daddy sleep a little longer."

But Rachel just got to her feet and then started jumping on the bed, bouncing House if only slightly. "_No_. Me _hungry_. Wake up daddy! Me wants to eat with you."

House groaned and Cuddy bit her lip before she said, "Rachel, you _can't jump on the bed_. You know that's not allowed. Now get down. We'll eat when everyone else gets here. It's still early. You can wait a little while."

"Me not want to wait," Rachel replied, a bright smile on her lips as she continued bouncing.

"House, may I come in?" Cuddy asked wearily, hating to bother him more but also wanting to stick to the promise she'd made herself that she wouldn't enter his room again without permission.

House grunted but ultimately lifted his upper body with his forearms, supporting himself as he opened one eye to stare at Rachel, not understanding why Cuddy hadn't just come in to grab her in the first place.

"Morning daddy," she giggled, jumping again.

House's mouth twitched then before his hand snaked out, grabbing her legs and causing her to land on her butt before he drew her into his side, trapping her as she squirmed and giggled more, trying to escape his clutches.

"Let me go!" she demanded a minute later, though her words came out muffled.

"No. We're going back to bed," House gruffly informed her.

Rachel stopped struggling, her head lifting to meet his eyes, House returning her stare. "Me not tired," she informed him, smiling through her tussled hair.

"Tough," he grunted.

"But _daddy, _me wants some _Cheerios_," she whined, pouting now.

"Come to mommy, Rachel," Cuddy said then. "We'll let daddy go back to sleep and you can have some Cheerios with Evie while I start getting stuff ready for breakfast."

Rachel turned her head to look at Cuddy, not making a move despite her daddy having lifted his arm to release her. "But I want to have Cheerios with _daddy,_" she bemoaned.

House sighed but carefully rolled over again, sitting up when he found himself on the far edge of the bed, rubbing a hand over his face once more before blearily pushing himself to his feet. "Alright," he finally mumbled, trying to encounter his equilibrium. "Give me a second."

"Yea!" Rachel yelled victoriously, pushing herself upright only to jump on the bed again.

"Rachel, what did mommy say about jumping on the bed?" Cuddy scolded, even as it took all her effort to try and correct Rachel when House's hair was all over the place, his t-shirt and pajama pants wrinkled, the complete picture making him look very cuddly all of a sudden.

Evie started laughing in her arms as House rounded the bed, launching off into a chorus of "dada", her legs kicking happily, and Cuddy watched as he smiled lopsidedly before stopping before them to bend his head down, rubbing his scruffy cheeks against Evie's neck to get her giggling harder.

Before Cuddy knew what she was doing her free hand was raking through his hair affectionately, trying to smooth the tufts that didn't want to lay flat.

House straightened, one eyebrow raised as he met her eyes with a probing look, but Cuddy didn't really know how to excuse herself and ended up blurting out the first thing that came to her, "Happy Father's Day," before worrying her lip.

"You said that already," House dryly mumbled, turning then to head for his bathroom, ignoring Rachel who was still jumping on the bed. But Cuddy was almost positive he added a "thanks" before he disappeared from her view completely.

Refocusing on Rachel at that point, she gave her a sharp look, Rachel freezing almost immediately.

"_Please_ get down from daddy's bed," Cuddy told her solemnly. "_Before _I decide that you need to be punished for not listening to mommy."

Rachel nodded quickly but then plopped down on her butt before sliding off the side of House's bed, scrambling past Cuddy to run in the direction of the kitchen a second later.

Cuddy glanced at baby G where she lay on House's bed, sighing, but then shook her head, leaving her where she lay before turning with Evie to head after Rachel, pulling House's door shut behind her to give him more privacy.

* * *

By the time House came out, Blythe was at the door. He let her in, accepting her hug and kiss on the cheek after taking the grocery bags she'd come bearing as she wished him a happy Father's Day, before shutting the door and following her into the kitchen, readily accepting the mug of coffee that Cuddy handed him once his arms were empty.

Before Cuddy knew what had happened, Blythe had taken over breakfast preparations and was assigning her tasks, busily moving about the kitchen. House laughed at the speechless expression on Cuddy's face, but for him this served at least as an indication that his mother seemed to have come into her own once again. Turning as the doorbell once more sounded, he headed for the front door.

"Happy Father's Day," Evelyn greeted when he opened the door, hugging him briefly before getting up on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Thanks," he said before focusing his gaze on Richard and greeting him by somewhat reluctantly repeating what Evelyn had said to him, the words sounding funny as he couldn't remember the last time he'd said them to anyone. "Happy Father's Day."

"Happy Father's Day, House," Richard returned with a nod, entering the house after his wife. "Welcome to the club. Start prepping yourself to receive lots of ties and unidentifiable homemade gifts."

"He doesn't _wear_ ties," Cuddy dryly said as she approached her dad, giving him a dirty look for the wisecracks he was already making almost certainly for _her _benefit before her expression changed and she threw her arms around him. "Happy Father's Day, dad," she murmured then, pressing a kiss to his cheek a second later, an affectionate smile upon her lips. "Hope you're hungry because I have a feeling we'll have a breakfast to rival any buffet in town before too long."

"I think I can do my part to do your breakfast justice," Richard agreed with a nod, rubbing his belly.

Cuddy gave him a funny look but then wryly admitted, "I've been demoted this year. House's mom has taken over."

Richard raised an eyebrow at that but immediately afterwards lifted his eyes up to the ceiling, muttering, "God help us with three strong-willed, bossy women under one roof."

House smirked at how Cuddy narrowed her eyes at her father, crossing her arms over her chest before she warned, "Watch it or I'll tell mom on you."

Richard chuckled but changed the topic a second later, asking, "And where _are _my grandbabies? I haven't heard 'Happy Father's Day' from Rachel yet."

"Rachel," Cuddy called out, turning in the direction of the kitchen. "Grandpa's here."

Rachel came running a second later and not having to be cued because she'd been prepped earlier this morning, threw her arms around his legs as she shouted, "Happy daddy day, grampa!" Then she released him even as he bent down to pat her head and thank her, her brow drawing together as she announced, "You's not my daddy but you's mommy's daddy so I tell you that like mommy said to."

House coughed to hide his laugh at her logic, turning with a shake of his head to go into the kitchen. Retrieving Evie from her highchair where she was more interested in throwing her Cheerios on the floor for Cookie Monster than in eating them, he settled her in his arms before making her a bottle, eyeing Evelyn and Blythe as they worked together on breakfast.

"I am so glad to see someone else call Georgia by her first name," Blythe was saying where she stood cutting up fresh fruit. "Not that 'Evie' isn't a precious nickname but people are so quick to use nicknames these days and Georgia is a beautiful name that merits being used."

It seemed his mother really was back, House dryly thought to himself, shaking his head once again. Not that he was going to engage himself in _this_ conversation.

"Georgia is a really pretty name," Evelyn agreed, busily cracking eggs into a bowl. Casting an affectionate smile House's way, she added, "Though I have to admit I am awfully fond of her middle name too."

"Gee I wonder why?" House sarcastically quipped, an eyebrow raised, but Evelyn ignored his teasing.

"Could you retrieve the milk from the fridge for me, Greg?" she asked, heading to the sink to wash any traces of eggs from her hands.

House nodded and went to the fridge to comply with her request, bringing her the milk before retrieving Evie's bottle and checking the temperature on his wrist.

Richard, Cuddy, and Rachel walked in then and Blythe wished him a happy Father's Day before answering Richard's question as far as what would be on the menu for breakfast.

"Daddy, we go outside to play?" Rachel asked him, leaning against the chair near where he stood, her face lifted up to look at him hopefully.

"Sure," he agreed with a nod of his head, wishing he woke up with as much energy as she did. "We'll take Cookie Monster with us."

"Yea!" Rachel shouted excitedly, half skipping in the direction of the sliding glass door.

Richard was standing beside the bowl of freshly cut fruit and he grabbed a piece of watermelon out, getting slapped in the arm by Evelyn for it. "_What?_" he protested. "I'm _hungry._"

"Make yourself scarce, Richard," Evelyn told him, giving him a pointed look.

Throwing up his hands, he made as if to leave but then quickly snatched another piece of fruit from the bowl before chuckling at the way his wife growled at him, moving out of her reach before following House and the girls outside.

Cuddy shook her head at her father's antics, Blythe looking amused and Evelyn harassed, before the three of them went back to work, Cuddy setting the table while the older women carried on in food preparation.

* * *

"Present time, present time," Rachel singsonged, standing up in her booster seat as Cuddy came back into the kitchen with a cleaned-up Evie, Evelyn and Blythe busily clearing the table.

"Sit down, Rachel," Cuddy said sternly, not wanting her to fall. "We'll give grandpa and daddy their gifts in a little bit but first we need to clean up. _Then _we'll go into the living room for present time."

Rachel pouted but sat down as she'd been told, House reaching out to steady her as she did so.

"What did you get me?" Richard asked Rachel teasingly.

"Don't you _dare _tell him, Rachel," Cuddy quickly interjected, giving her dad a steely look. Pointing a finger his way, she warned, "You won't be getting anything_ at all_ if you get Rachel to ruin the surprise."

House looked Richard's way in amusement but then leaned in to quietly ask, "Never mind grandpa. What did you get daddy?"

"House, I will kill you," Cuddy muttered, shaking her head before walking to his side, contradicting her fiercely spoken words by running a hand tenderly over his shoulder, although she did then pick Rachel up, taking her with her.

"You can help us do dishes," she told her before mumbling, "Since neither grandpa nor daddy seem to be willing to behave this morning."

"Come on, Evie. Out with it. What did you get your old man?" House asked the baby who had been returned to her highchair on his other side.

Cuddy smiled, glancing their way, further amused when Evie picked up a piece of mashed banana and held it up in House's direction, giggling when he actually did lean in to accept it from her fingers, Evie sticking it in his mouth and grabbing his lip in the process, babbling happily.

When the table was cleaned up and leftovers put away, Cuddy washed Evie's sticky fingers before following the rest of them out to the living room, Rachel leading the way in her excitement.

House sat down on the sofa, Richard taking a chair, and while Evelyn perched herself to Richard's side on the armrest, Cuddy passed Evie to Blythe's waiting arms before motioning for Rachel to follow her out of the room. A minute later they were back, a stack of wrapped presents in hand.

"This one for you, grampa," Rachel announced, carrying a small package over to him.

"Hey! Daddy first!" House interrupted, looking put out.

Rachel giggled but gave the present to her grandpa before running back to her mommy, sneaking a look at her daddy from behind her leg before saying loudly, "This present for _mommy's _daddy_. _You _my daddy. You gots to wait your turn!_"

House harrumphed but redirected his attention to Richard, mildly curious as to what the gift would be. He waited as the man read the attached card, swallowing hard afterwards as his eyes met his daughter's. "Thank you, honey," he gruffly said.

But Cuddy just smiled and jutted her chin in the direction of the present still waiting to be unwrapped in his lap. "Open it."

Richard dropped his gaze, his eyes focusing on the gift, but before he could open it, Rachel ran back to his side.

"Me help you!" she announced, practically snatching the gift from him.

"Rachel!" Cuddy gasped.

But Richard quickly interceded, saying, "Aw, let her help grampa."

Cuddy sighed but her smile returned as she watched Rachel struggle with the ribbon before it fell off and she was able to rip the packaging away.

"It's a…" Rachel began, only to pause and turn to her mommy, giving her a confused look. "What you say it called, mommy?"

"A workstation," she filled in, her eyes returning to her dad.

"I'm sure that will come in _very _handy," House quipped before she could continue, looking at the nine-inch scale model in Richard's hand.

Cuddy sent a scathing look his way but then returned her gaze to her father and explained, "It's just a model. The real deal is in my garage under a tarp. Mom said the one you have is too heavy to move easily and bring with you when you actually do find a house you like. I thought a new one would make a nice gift. I bought an eight foot master pegboard workbench kit too, from the girls, but they didn't have a model for that. I was lucky enough to get the model for the workbench. Saved me dragging it over here so you could open it."

"Lisa, this must have cost you a pretty penny," Richard mumbled. "You didn't have to go to this much trouble for me."

"I used what I saved in buying you a tie that one year," she teased before shaking her hair out behind her and adding with a shrug, wryly adding, "And it was no trouble at all. I'd build a workshop for you _myself_ just to get you guys to live closer."

"Please tell her _that _won't be necessary," House muttered under his breath, getting another dirty look from Cuddy in the process as Evelyn laughed.

"Thank you," Richard said then, bobbing his head before his attention returned to the detailed model in his hand.

"Is it my turn yet?" House asked, looking around at everyone hopefully.

"Not yet," Cuddy dryly replied. "And it might never be if you don't show some patience."

House expelled his breath once more but reached to take Evie from his mother as she tried to get to him, getting a little whiney, just about ready for a nap.

Cuddy handed another package to Rachel and House held out his hand expectantly, a grin touching his lips, but Rachel shook her head, hiding the package from him as she ran back to her grandpa.

"_What?_" House protested, the grin quickly being replaced by a scowl. "What _is _this? What's a daddy got to do to get a present 'round here?"

"Oh, poor Greg," Evelyn murmured soothingly. "Don't you worry Greg. Grandma Cuddles bought you a present."

House wasn't sure whether to be indignant at how she mollified him teasingly or smug that she'd used his endearment for her quite publically. Settling for a small pout, he turned his attention back to Richard to see Rachel tear open the wrapping on the latest gift, holding up a shirt for him to take.

"It say 'Bestest Grandpa in the _Whole_ World,'" Rachel proudly informed him.

"Thank you, Rachel," Richard seriously responded, nodding his head as he inspected the shirt.

"That's not even proper English," House muttered.

But Cuddy just ignored him, volunteering, "Rachel picked it out." Frowning a second later, she asked, "But Rachel, where's the card?"

"Oh," Rachel exclaimed, turning and running back out of the room, returning a second later with a ripped envelope in one hand and the card in the other. "Me not finished when you took it away. Hadta open it to finish my picture."

Cuddy laughed in exasperation but said nothing as Rachel gave the card to her grandpa. "This me and this Ebie," she informed him. "And here's Cookie Monster. He not want to be left out. See? These his teef marks from where he stoled da card from me."

Richard chuckled at the teeth imprints before dutifully complementing Rachel on her swirls that represented her, Evie, and Cookie Monster, only reading the front of the card once she willingly surrendered it to him.

"_Now _is it my turn?" House spoke up.

"_Almost_," Evelyn reassured, getting up to retrieve a bag she'd left by the front door upon coming in that morning. Returning with it, she passed Richard a card before leaning in to kiss his cheek. "Happy Father's Day, dear," she said affectionately.

Richard shot House a smug grin over how he was still the center of attention, before refocusing on the card, reading it before whistling at the gift cards within.

"I figured you'd enjoy selecting your own gifts this year," Evelyn admitted, before wryly adding, "Besides, I have absolutely _no_ interest in spending a few hours at Home Depot trying to figure out what you don't already have."

"Thanks honey," Richard replied, contentment etched across his face as he wrapped an arm around his wife, drawing her in to press a kiss to her cheek.

Refocusing on House, Evelyn said, "Here Greg. You can start with mine," holding out the bag for him to take.

"_Finally_," he declared impatiently, snatching it from her with his free hand.

"Who taught you your manners?" Blythe asked then in disbelief, shaking her head, semi-embarrassed by his behavior.

But House just threw her a lopsided grin and Blythe's embarrassment melted away as she looked tenderly at her son who then stuck his head within the bag, making a big deal out of encountering a gift he could have just as easily removed with his hand.

"_Oh brother_," Cuddy exclaimed, shaking her head as he finally emerged with the present in hand, righting Evie in his lap before she could tip over.

"Now, what do we have _here?" _House gleefully declared, shaking the box before giving Evelyn a suspicious look at his inability to detect anything within.

Evie reached out a hand to swipe at the gift but it was Rachel who ran around the table to help him rip the wrapping paper off, House not even pausing to open the card that came with it. Opening the small box within, he grinned, lifting out tickets to a Monster Truck expo. "Awesome," he acknowledged as he checked the dates.

"Lisa mentioned you were slightly obsessed with monster trucks," she said wryly, even as her face reflected her pleasure at seeing him enjoy the gift.

"I don't know if '_slightly_' is the word for it," Cuddy mumbled, rolling her eyes over his expression, a smile tugging on her lips.

House opened the card then, reading it before sobering and meeting Evelyn's and Richard's eyes in turn, holding Evelyn's gaze a second longer, gratitude written across his face, even as he tried to contain it.

"Thank you," he mumbled, his voice cracking ever so slightly, truly affected by her personal message within which read, "_To Greg, my favorite (non) son-in-law, on his first ever Father's Day: Not many men find themselves fathers to two angels within such a short span of time and carry it out as effortlessly as you have in my eyes, as if born for just this purpose, especially under the circumstances in which your fatherhood came about. I am SO proud of you! Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for entrusting you with their care and think how blessed I am to know that Rachel and Georgia both have you looking out for and loving them. They couldn't ask for a better daddy. May you have the best Father's Day that ever was and know your (non) mother-in-law thinks the world of you, Evelyn."_

Richard just nodded, having simply signed the card, there not having been anything to add to Evelyn's sentiments. But Evelyn stood up and then pulled on House's arm until he adjusted Evie to allow him to get up, Rachel holding onto his knee, Evelyn wrapping her arms around him and squeezing him tightly in her embrace before releasing him with a half-sob, half-laugh, wiping at her eyes, only slightly embarrassed by her emotional display.

Cuddy watched as her mother took her seat once more, her own throat clogged with emotion, having no idea what the card had said but knowing without having to be told that something decidedly … _important_ had just been exchanged, House now looking embarrassed at everyone's eyes on him, uncomfortable with his own inability to say anything to brush off what had just passed between him and Evelyn.

Sensing his need to be relieved of the unwanted attention he'd received in his and her mom's reaction to the card, Cuddy quickly moistened her lips before saying, "Rachel, why don't you give your gift to daddy," passing her another package, much bulkier in form.

Rachel took it from her enthusiastically if albeit unsteadily, her face transforming into joy as she attempted to bounce up and down at House's side until his eyes fell on her, giving her a lopsided grin.

"This from _me_, daddy," she exclaimed, holding the gift up for him to take with a grunt, almost falling into his lap due to its heaviness.

House took it from her carefully, this time opening the attached card before sitting back down on the couch so that Rachel could help with the unwrapping. But Rachel had the gift unwrapped before he could even read the card and his attention was immediately distracted as his eyes were drawn to the expensive Harley Davidson ride ready motorcycle hybrid half helmet with flames that had resided within. He stared at it as Rachel proudly beamed at him and then his eyes shifted to Cuddy, who was watching him, worrying her lip between her teeth as she waited upon his reaction, decidedly nervous since she hadn't seen him make use of his motorcycle since moving in, despite knowing the fact that he still had it in the garage meant he'd probably love the gift all the same.

"Me's taking good care of you, daddy," Rachel informed him then. "Mommy says this for your protect-shun."

House returned his gaze to the gift and then let out a low whistle before focusing back on Rachel. "_This _is one of the best gifts you could have given daddy," he affirmed her then with a grin. "Thank you Rachel."

"Welcome," she said sweetly, climbing up on the couch to sit to the side of him, in between him and his mother, leaning into his side, quite pleased with herself.

"These two are from Evie," Cuddy said then, passing him two more presents.

He accepted them, meeting her eyes for a second before looking down at the two girls and mumbling, "I'm beginning to fear the dent that's to be made in my wallet in coming years by allowances, considering I seem to have such big spenders for kids."

But Cuddy just rolled her eyes, waiting for him to open the first, smaller gift.

"Alright kid. Let's see what _you _got daddy," House joked under his breath to the baby in his lap.

This time Rachel waited, allowing him to open the first gift himself. When he did he lifted out a pair of Harley Davidson men's illumination leather full-fingered gloves. Shaking his head, not even knowing what to say, he silently set them aside before opening the larger present.

"You can bring them in and exchange them if they aren't the right size or if you'd prefer a different style," Cuddy murmured as she watched him check out the lynx boots she'd settled on buying in Evie's name.

But House shook his head. "They're great," he quietly replied before setting them aside to lift Evie up, turning her towards him to buzz her neck with kisses.

Rachel pushed herself up then, exposing her neck to him before pleading, "Me too, daddy!"

And so House obliged her, laughing when she squirmed and giggled at how he blew raspberries on her neck, his scruff tickling her.

House didn't really know what to say to Cuddy after such expensive gifts, not that he thought she couldn't afford them but… All the same, with her parents present and his mom there…

However, he didn't really have time as Blythe cleared her throat and handed him a package she'd stowed beside the couch, out of his sight. "This is for you," she softly said once Rachel had snuggled back into his side. "Happy Father's Day Greg."

House raised an eyebrow at the gift but accepted it nevertheless, placing it in his lap before removing the card attached, reading the card before clearing his throat while meeting his mother's eyes, murmuring a "Thanks, mom," before he tucked the card in with the pile he now had before him on the coffee table.

"Me help you?" Rachel asked then, looking up at him, once more interested in opening gifts as it wasn't from her and she didn't know what it was.

House nodded, flipping it over to expose the taped edge as Rachel leaned forward and then scooted a bit to pull at it with her little fingers. A second later he was holding what appeared to be an old book in his hands. Flipping it over, he glanced at the cover and spine, not seeing a title.

Curious, he lifted his eyes to meet his mother's, recognizing she was a little embarrassed by the rosy hue that had shown up in her cheeks. "Mom, what is this?" he asked all the same.

"I think nowadays they'd call it a brag book but… it's a book I've kept since you were born. I… I've always considered it your… book of accomplishments," she hesitantly informed him, her cheeks turning even more pink.

His confusion only growing, he sought clarification with a "Huh?"

Blythe's eyes closed for a second but then she met his gaze and murmured, "I… Well, you've never seen it because I always kind of felt… silly for keeping it. It… wouldn't have been the sort of thing John approved of and I thought you'd think I was silly too but… I wanted someplace where I could jot down each and every special achievement of yours. At first I marked down a lot of your milestones. And then as you got older, I kind of… used it to keep tabs of the things _you _were proud of accomplishing as well as what I was proud of you for. Maybe it's silly but you were my pride and joy so…"

House stared at her, completely caught off-guard by this revelation into his mother's psyche. His eyes dropping to the book that Rachel was already trying to open, he helped her lift the cover.

"No pictures?" she asked in disappointment, having been hoping for a storybook.

House shook his head as he turned the first few pages but Blythe spoke up then to add, "There are a few pictures of you. They are in the back though. I left most of your pictures in the albums however, figuring they'd be better protected that way."

House glanced at his mom again, his expression unreadable, before he turned back to the book, scanning the first few pages, noting the detail she'd gone into on each occasion she'd seen fit to note down. Turning several more pages, a slight smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he read the date and notation for when he'd first learned to whistle, ride a bike, skip a stone, even… "You wrote down when I learned how to spit _watermelon seeds?_" he dryly asked, his eyebrow raising.

"Well you were so proud of yourself," Blythe softly contested. "John had that nasty friend of his who was always chewing tobacco out on the porch and as much as I knew I shouldn't encourage you, I couldn't help but find it amusing how you learned to spit watermelon seeds into that gross spittoon of his."

House chuckled in disbelief, continuing to flip through the book, pausing when he came to a page with a picture included of him and the girls. Sobering, he read the inscription noting his accomplishments as a… father. Choked up suddenly, he carefully closed the book but did not set it aside, meeting his mother's eyes to mumble a, "Thank you mom."

She nodded, still somewhat embarrassed but also aware of how he was absentmindedly stroking the cover of the little book with his index finger, interpreting that as a sign that he really did appreciate the gift. Leaning over towards him while being careful of Rachel between them, she cupped his jaw and pressed a quiet kiss to his cheek before murmuring, "I really am very proud of you, honey."

"Well," Evelyn announced then, pushing herself to her feet. "I know we've just had breakfast but is anyone _really _going to object if we have some dessert now?"

Cuddy's eyes were still on House, watching him as his eyes had returned to the book in his lap, affection for him washing over him in waves as he absentmindedly pressed a kiss to Evie where she'd fallen asleep on his chest. Once more thinking he could use a moment, she pushed herself up. "I am _positive _Rachel would _love _some dessert right now," she declared, stepping over in House's direction to reach for Rachel after allowing her parents to pass by on their way to the kitchen. But before she scooped Rachel up she braced herself on the arm of the chair, pressing a quick kiss to House's brow as no one was paying them any attention, before she shifted her gaze back to Rachel, noting that dessert might not be in Rachel's immediate future, her heavy-lidded eyes conveying just how ready for a nap she was as she came willingly into Cuddy's arms, her legs wrapping around her and head finding her shoulder, eyes closing seconds later.

Giving House one more glance before slipping out of the room, she smiled tenderly, realizing he was still all wrapped up in his own little world. She hoped his first Father's Day would be a memorable one. And it seemed like there was no reason to doubt it would.

* * *

House closed the door that night once Cuddy had re-entered the house with the girls, Blythe, the last to leave, having just driven off, Cuddy's parents having left much earlier in the day. "I should make her a bottle," he said, heading for the kitchen.

"House, wait," Cuddy murmured, not wanting to wait any longer, now that it was back to just the four of them in the house.

He turned to face her, raising an eyebrow as he waited to see what she wanted.

Cuddy bit her lip but then released it, giving him a shy smile before admitting, "I want to give you _my_ Father's Day present."

"Cuddy, you already gave me gifts from the girls," he mumbled, his brow knit together in confusion.

"But I have one that's just from me," she quietly informed him, shifting nervously from one foot to another, Evie in her arms.

"Why?" he asked with a frown. "I'm not _your father. _I… didn't expect you to get me anything."

"I know you didn't," she quickly reassured. "But all the same… I really wanted to get you something that's from me. You're the father of _my children._ And I am so thankful for that."

House stared at her, not really knowing how to respond. But Cuddy didn't give him a chance, saying, "Just give me a second," before she placed Evie in his arms, slipping away a second later.

House stayed where he was, having been caught off-guard. But Cuddy was back shortly with a wrapped box which she quickly pressed into his hands, taking Evie back in the process.

"Cuddy…" he began, holding the box loosely in his grip.

"Please, House. Just open it," she interrupted, nodding at the box in his hands, once more worrying her lip between her teeth.

He began to, intently focusing on the present in his hands as she watched him. When he had the wrapping off and just as he lifted off the lid and moved aside the paper to see what lay within, she called for Rachel who had disappeared to go off and play with Cookie Monster.

Slipping past him, she went into Evie's room, slipping the baby's leather jacket she'd gotten her onto her arms before pressing a kiss to her cheek as Evie babbled in her arms, one hand quickly being shoved into her mouth as she continued to chortle. Settling her against her shoulder, Cuddy turned to see Rachel waiting in the doorway for her, and gestured to the bag tucked in the corner before Rachel beamed and pulled out her own little leather jacket, running to Cuddy with it to receive her help in putting it on, straightening it before the three of them headed back out into the hallway.

House had the jacket out of the box and was staring at it, looking it over. Not giving him a chance to say anything, she said, "I got the girls matching jackets too. I thought maybe you'd want to get pictures taken of the three of you in your leather jackets using one of those gift certificates you received from Cameron and Chase. Daddy and his girls…," she concluded softly, her eyes tracing his features, attempting to detect how he felt about the gift.

House had turned his head in surprise upon hearing that she'd also bought the girls matching jackets and looked at Rachel and Evie, taking in the little mini me leather jackets they had on, a goofy smile quickly overtaking his face and grabbing at Cuddy's heart. She watched him as he then pulled his leather jacket on as well.

"We's match, daddy!" Rachel exclaimed excitedly, jumping up and down.

"Harley doesn't make them in the girls' sizes so I had to order theirs through another retailer. That's why I opted to get you this ride ready leather jacket," Cuddy murmured, stepping closer to run a hand across the leather covering his chest. "Even with the embellishments, it still basically matches those of the girls."

"I thought I said no matching outfits," House dryly quipped, an eyebrow raised.

Cuddy sighed quietly, her hand dropping from his chest, but then protested, "_House, come on…_"

"You didn't get yourself one?" he asked then, one eyebrow quirked, his smile now carrying traces of smugness as his eyes shifted from his jacket to each of the girls and then back to his own, Cuddy quickly realizing that he'd just been picking on her when he'd remarked on his no matching rule.

Cuddy paused at his question but when his eyes lifted to meet hers, admitted honestly, "I… was tempted. But this day is really about celebrating you and the relationship you have with the girls. Not about me. So I didn't feel right, getting myself one. And I… really did want you to know just how much I appreciate you."

House stared at her a minute but then nodded in acceptance of all she'd just said before softly saying, "I… really appreciate this, Cuddy. It's… Thank you," he finally concluded with a nod.

"You're welcome," she replied, smiling softly as she watched his hand stroke over the leather of his jacket once again before he reached out to touch Evie's jacket too, tugging the lapel from her mouth where she was taste-testing it and getting her to giggle for him a second later.

The corner of his mouth quirked up and she waited, knowing he was about to say something to pick on her. As predicted he said, "So you waited until _your dad_ was gone to give me this so that you wouldn't be placed under the microscope."

Cuddy exhaled, rolling her eyes, but then she shrugged half-heartedly. "What he doesn't know won't kill him," she simply murmured.

"And it won't kill you that way either," he volleyed back with a knowing look.

But before she could retort to that, he sobered and looked away before briefly meeting her eyes and asking solemnly, "Why would you go to all this trouble if you knew I didn't expect a gift from you? You've obviously spent a lot of money. Why… bother?"

Cuddy's head tilted to the side as she looked at him, swallowing hard before whispering, "House, I don't care about _the money_. And it wasn't any trouble at all. I… I really wanted to give you something that you'd… enjoy. You…" Licking her lips, she continued, "Honestly, I'll never be able to show you just how very much I appreciate all you've done for the girls; all you've given them and all you've given up _for them_. Nor can I think of a gift that would rightly express just how amazed and _grateful I am_ for their having a daddy who loves them so completely; who is so devoted to being… the best daddy he can be. I… Well, I couldn't ask for a better father for our two little girls. And I don't know that this gift can in any way encapsulate how much I do think of you but I… I know how much you love your motorcycle and I wanted to give you something that you could enjoy but also, I don't know, share with the girls in a way. I'm… really proud of _who_ you are and I want them to… know who you are and share your loves and… be proud of every part of who you are, too. Besides, you only have _one _first Father's Day."

Cuddy's words died away, not knowing what else to say or how to word her thoughts better. House stared at her, not knowing how to reply and frankly, not even yet knowing what to _think _of all she'd just said.

"Happy Father's Day," Cuddy once more said with a smile, passing him Evie before leaning into him quickly to press a soft kiss to his parted lips, her eyes fluttering shut just for a moment, pulling back a second later to step around him. "I'll make Evie's bottle. You should return Wilson's call from earlier in the day. I think he wants to wish you a happy Father's Day as well," she informed him as she walked away, Rachel skipping after her, already asking for a cookie.

Standing there in the hallway, House looked down once more at the jacket he had received and the miniature version Evie had on before meeting the baby's eyes which were locked on his as she babbled at him, one hand playing with her lips. He dismissed the warmth of Cuddy's lips against his and tried to tell himself he wasn't standing in quicksand and sinking fast. He told himself once more that no, he _would _ultimately get over her, regardless of what Evelyn or anyone else thought; that his past thoughts of them being _meant to be _or on an eternally _inescapable _collision course,really _had _been completely erroneous. Last of all he brushed off the thought that it was already too late and this was all just wishful thinking. That possibility was too scary to entertain.

* * *

"_**I don't need to fall at your feet  
Just 'cause you cut me to the bone  
And I won't miss the way that you kiss me  
We were never carved in stone  
If I don't listen to the talk of the town  
Then maybe I can fool myself**_

_**I'll get over you, I know I will**_  
_**I'll pretend my ship's not sinking**_  
_**And I'll tell myself I'm over you**_  
_**'Cause I'm the king of wishful thinking**_  
_**I am the king of wishful thinking**_

_**I refuse to give in to my blues**_  
_**That's not how it's going to be**_  
_**And I deny the tears in my eyes**_  
_**I don't want to let you see, no**_  
_**That you have made a hole in my heart**_  
_**And now I've got to fool myself**_

_**I'll get over you, I know I will**_  
_**I'll pretend my ship's not sinking**_  
_**And I'll tell myself I'm over you**_  
_**'Cause I'm the king of wishful thinking**_  
_**(I'll get over you, I know I will**_  
_**I'll pretend my ship's not sinking)**_  
_**And I'll tell myself I'm over you**_  
_**'Cause I'm the king of wishful thinking**_

_**I will never, never shed a tear for you**_  
_**I'll get over you, I know I will**_

_**If I don't listen to the talk of the town**_  
_**Then maybe I can fool myself**_

_**I'll get over you, I know I will**_  
_**I'll pretend my ship's not sinking**_  
_**And I'll tell myself I'm over you**_  
_**'Cause I'm the king of wishful thinking**_  
_**I'm the king of wishful thinking**_

_**I'll get over you, I know I will  
You made a hole in my heart  
But I won't shed a tear for you  
I'll be the king of wishful thinking**_

_**I'll get over you  
I'll pretend my heart's still beating  
'Cause I've got no more tears for you  
I'm the king of wishful thinking  
I'll get over you, I know I will  
You made a hole in my heart  
And I'll tell myself I'm over you  
'Cause I'm the king of wishful thinking"**_

* * *

Song: "King Of Wishful Thinking" (Go West)


	100. One Less Bell to Answer

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Okay, confession time. I… am a bit of a GLEEK. :) Well, I have plenty of issues with the show (current season especially) but I LOVE musicals and LOVE Kristin Chenoweth's appearance on the show and several of the other characters in Glee as well so… here's my tribute, even if I find the morals contained most horrifying at times. And I know most of the world could have cared less for the "Home" episode last spring, but it was probably one of my favorites. Just saying. :) SUPER long chapter today! Hope you enjoy it! And btw, Happy New Year! Internet wasn't working yesterday so sorry for the wait!)_

* * *

House expelled his breath for what felt like the millionth time, his eyes once more straying to study the leather jacket Cuddy had bought him which he'd set over the chair in his bedroom when he'd entered a half hour ago after seeing the girls to bed. He felt a bit like he was messing with Cuddy and even more like he was messing with himself, not being able to escape thinking of her after the gifts he'd received at her hands and this crazy weekend with parents about, his first Father's Day… and everything that had entailed. Once more he couldn't help thinking he and Cuddy appeared for all rights and purposes to be playing house together. And what really bothered him at present was how unfair he suddenly felt he was being to _her _in continuing to do so.

Pushing himself from off the edge of the bed where he'd been sitting, he paced for a minute before sighing wearily, heading for the door. If he was going to do this, he should just get it over with.

A minute later he was climbing up the stairs, pausing only briefly to check in on Rachel before continuing on to Cuddy's room, knocking on the door, knowing from the light coming from under the door that she was still awake.

Cuddy pulled open the door a moment later, having left her bathroom where she'd been readying for bed, and met his eyes, surprised to see him standing there even if she'd known it was him. She was even more thrown off balance when the first thing he quietly said to her was, "Kiss me."

Wavering a little where she stood, it took her a minute to moisten her lips before breathily whispering, "What?"

"Kiss me," he repeated, his expression completely serious as he waited for her to act.

Cuddy's forehead wrinkled, not understanding him, unsure herself whether it was his words that she was confused by or the meaning she was searching for behind them. But she knew she had heard him right. At least, she had known so when he'd repeated himself.

"I don't… understand," she finally managed to mumble, shaking her head as if to clear away her bewilderment as she took a step back to try and process what he'd said better. _Why _he'd said it. She'd kissed him a number of times in the last weeks but… never at his urging her to.

Raising a hand to rub his face ruefully, House pursed his mouth before muttering, "This isn't fair to you. You're waiting for me to come around and you'll keep waiting until you know one way or the other whether there is any chance of this happening between you and me. So you need to just get your answer and the sooner, the better. For both of us."

"House," Cuddy began and then fell silent, trying to think, trying to know what she was supposed to do and say now, too caught off-guard to feel capable of thinking clearly or deliberate her next course of action in a rational manner.

"Do it before I change my mind," he muttered, his tone changing slightly as he looked pointedly down at her.

"_House_," she began to object, flustered now and further hesitating due to his last statement which didn't make it seem like a very promising idea. Was this because of something her father had said? Or the conversation they'd had outside? Or was this because of something… _else completely?_

But he didn't give her time to formulate and voice her questions, reaching out and settling a hand on her waist, quickly pulling her into his personal space and causing her to lose her balance, falling into him, one hand landing sprawled out low on his waist even as she caught herself with the other hand on the doorframe.

The contact he'd established, his hand on her side, set flames shooting off despite the fact that he'd dropped his hand almost as soon as she'd steadied herself. She locked eyes with him but he made no move whatsoever, clearly waiting for her to do so. She stood there, perfectly still with the exception of her now trembling hands, but her breaths had become shallower and as she was then forced to take more of them, it was inevitable that she'd be breathing in the mixture of his cologne and his own natural scent, further compounding the dilemma she was faced with, still unsure what she _ought _to do, regardless of what she _wanted_ to do. And then her gaze found its way to his lips as she struggled just to _think _and she wet her own in response before meeting his eyes again.

"You know you want to," House murmured quietly, his chin moving slightly as if daring her to while he watched her intently.

And though she told herself that _should _have been enough to make her once more think twice, it had quite the opposite effect, rendering her helpless to do anything but what she wanted to do, what House had just given her _permission _to do.

"You make me feel like an addict, craving you like this," she shakily mumbled as her eyes flicked from his to his mouth. But her hands were already set in motion, cupping his face and trembling slightly against his skin as she traced gentle circles with her fingertips through the scruff on his cheeks, the feel of him against her palms making her heart start to race, slowly drawing his face down to her as she rose up on her tiptoes to meet him halfway, her eyes drifting shut just as her lips made contact with his.

House watched her, hardly breathing, as she pressed her lips softly to his, minutes seeming to pass by before she sighed, melting into him, the trembling in her hands ceasing completely as she increased the feather light contact she'd started with into genuinely kissing him, her lips moving against his, her head little by little changing angles as she kissed him the way she'd wanted to for some time, still searching for the perfect positioning to seal her lips more completely to his, the kiss yet innocent but with increasing effort put into it and therein surpassing the other scattered kisses she'd quickly pressed to his mouth in the last month or so before just as quickly pulling away. And then one hand slid back, leaving his face to cradle the nape of his neck, fingers running through his hair, while the other slipped down and under his arm to press against his shoulder blade, anchoring her better to him.

Her fingers on his face, caressing him as she had, had felt… _nice, _House recognized. And even now, with her fingertips lightly scratching against his scalp… Well, it was strangely soothing and pleasurable, all at the same time. He could smell the mint of her toothpaste and her face wash that she'd just used to wash her makeup away, followed by faint traces of her perfume, and he couldn't help but admire her as she kissed him, as even without the makeup Cuddy looked beautiful. But when she then made a noise in the back of her throat, almost mewling, her lips parting and tongue coming out to trace his lips a second after while she pressed even more intimately against him, he panicked and pushed her away, holding her at a distance until she regained her balance, her eyes lidded with the beginning stirrings of desire as she stared back at him, trying to get her breath back, her face slightly flushed, her chest rising and falling with each intake of air as her heart continued to race.

"I can't," he quickly muttered. "I thought I could handle this but…" And then he turned and limped away as quick as he could.

It took Cuddy a second to react but then she helplessly followed him, catching up to him as he started descending the staircase. "House, it's alright," she exclaimed quietly, not wanting to wake Rachel. "I mean, I thought I could handle it too but then you were so close and smelled so good and I… just lost my head."

House froze as he came to the landing, his eyes on the floor, but then he met hers and swallowed before saying, "Cuddy, I… I didn't _feel anything. _This isn't going to _work._"

"Nothing?" she couldn't help disappointedly asking, her expression somewhat crestfallen.

House looked away and shook his head slowly.

But then Cuddy shook herself, realizing this wasn't going to end well if she didn't figure out a better way to look at the situation. Her head coming up, she hopefully and yet hesitantly asked, "But you weren't… repelled by it, were you? I mean, having me kiss you wasn't… horribly unpleasant, right?"

House met her gaze but then sighed before mumbling with a shrug, "It wasn't… anything."

"But maybe in time…" she began, hopefulness filling her.

"I don't think so," he replied resignedly.

And suddenly it hit her that he really did _want _to feel something, even if he hadn't. Sucking in a ragged breath, she moistened her lips, taking a couple stairs so that she was nearer to him before softly suggesting, "We can keep trying. Just because you didn't… feel anything just now doesn't mean in time you won't."

"Cuddy," he said gruffly, clearly not wanting to give her false hope.

"No," she continued, a hand up to communicate he should wait a second more before responding. "And with practice, I'll get better at controlling myself and I won't… _rush you,_" she added, thinking about how she'd been about to bite his lip, seeking permission to taste him, the presence of her tongue against his lips probably why he'd pulled away. "We can just… leisurely kiss and see what happens."

House looked at her for a moment as if this was the most ridiculous conversation they could be having but Cuddy didn't give him opportunity to speak just yet. "House, I'm not _going_ _anywhere_. And there's no hurry. We can take our time. No pressure whatsoever. Please. I want this. I'm not giving up hope and you shouldn't either."

House looked as if he was going to say something but then his mouth sealed and he expelled air through his nose. Shaking his head, he muttered, "I'll think about it."

And then Cuddy watched him as he descended the rest of the stairs, entering his room immediately after. Turning to the side, her hands went behind her to grab onto the rail as she let herself lean back against it, taking a deep breath. It was yes, a little disappointing that he didn't feel anything. But then, he hadn't really actively participated in the kiss either so…

Cuddy released the rail with one hand, her fingers coming up to run over her lips, a semi-giddy smile taking over them as she did. He not only loved her but he _wanted _to feel something when she kissed him. That was progress, wasn't it? Sighing, her heart feeling significantly lighter, she dropped her head forward before pushing off the rail to go back to her room, a bounce to her step as she climbed the stairs to put her pajamas on before crawling into bed.

* * *

June 20th, 2011

Although they'd never reconfirmed, House and Erika not even having spoken since last Wednesday night, he was not surprised, nor was he unprepared, when Wilson, Erika, and Trevor showed up at the door on Monday night for their standard dinner engagement, this week being his turn to cook.

Cuddy had gone to get the door but House had been right behind her so he didn't miss the quickly distinguished look that passed over Erika's face when faced with Cuddy, while she was busy greeting Wilson and completely oblivious to Erika knowing anything at all. It was a look that told House while she had somehow known that Cuddy hadn't ended up moving out, probably having seen her at some point outside with the girls or something he concluded, she was notunaffected by what he'd disclosed to her. However, by the time Cuddy greeted her the fleeting look was gone, Erika being perfectly pleasant in returning the greeting before stepping past her to approach House, pressing a kiss to his cheek while saying, "Happy belated Father's Day."

"Thanks," he replied, meeting her eyes, searching them a second before Trevor was by his side, offering another distraction, shortly followed by Wilson who took Evie from his arms, walking off in the direction of the kitchen without further ado.

House watched him go, an eyebrow raised, but then Trevor was asking if he could play on the swing set, Rachel running into the room and jumping on _that _bandwagon, and he shortly found himself on the deck, Cuddy instructing him to go enjoy himself while she finished readying dinner.

By the time he went outside, Cookie Monster practically galloping across the deck to trip down the stairs, Wilson was standing next to the swing set, Evie in his arms, listening attentively as Rachel chattered away about the swing set as if he couldn't see it there before him, Trevor meanwhile climbing into the clubhouse, inspecting everything.

Erika came up beside him, leaning against the rail, and he met her gaze with a chagrined half-smile as she returned it with her own and said quietly enough that Wilson wouldn't hear, "Seems you changed your mind."

"Seems that way," he wryly admitted with a shrug, not caring that she didn't bother to phrase her statement as if she was speaking of his '_patient'_ once again.

"Rachel?" she asked then.

"In part," he agreed, understanding that while he'd intentionally kept Rachel out of their conversation the week before, it was reasonable that she'd conclude Rachel had been a factor in his deciding that Cuddy could stay.

Erika nodded, her gaze leaving him to fall on Trevor and Rachel as they played, a smile tugging at her lips.

"How are you?" she asked then, her eyes moving to Wilson and Evie now.

House shrugged but said, "Fine. It was a busy weekend with her parents here and my mom as well, but I survived it."

Erika's smile grew and she laughed under her breath, nodding in a way that told him she was not in the least surprised he'd refer to it as him "surviving" it.

"She doesn't know you know," House said then, sobering.

"I got that," she replied with a wry smile, glancing back at his face.

House just nodded, looking back out at the yard to check on Cookie Monster and see what he was up to.

"Did you have to tell her?" she couldn't help asking, her expression clouding over.

He shook his head. "She figured it out, but… it wasn't something we talked about."

"What's for dinner?" Erika asked then, changing the subject as Wilson turned to come back their way.

"Fajitas," he replied, tension easing from him, his stomach choosing that moment to growl loudly, making Erika laugh.

"I'm starving too," she admitted as she turned to take Evie from Wilson, both of them therein effectively leaving their conversation of a minute ago closed for the rest of the night.

* * *

June 22nd, 2011

"You skipped out on me last week," Nolan said casually as he went around his desk to take a seat once he'd opened the door for House to come inside.

House didn't even bother lying about the circumstances surrounding his absence, simply saying, "Yep."

Nolan raised an eyebrow, his expression otherwise contemplative as he eyed House while taking his seat. "Want to tell me why?" he asked finally.

"Nope," House just as directly declared, setting down Evie's car seat before taking his own seat, unbuckling her a second later to lift her out.

"Okay," Nolan drew out, nodding slowly.

House returned the raised eyebrow but did not comment, understanding better now how Nolan operated when it came to him. He figured that since House had been coming steadily for so long now, choosing to allow Nolan in, obviously committed to this _thing of theirs_, that he would explain but when he was good and ready to. However, House had no intention of _ever _explaining this. Still, there was no point telling Nolan that and making a bigger issue out of it if he could escape without saying _anything at all._

"So how are you planning to probe the depths of my psyche today?" House asked him pointedly.

"I think we left off two weeks ago with me asking you if you wanted to be with Dr. Cuddy," Nolan said evenly then, digging right in without further ado.

House's shoulders tensed, his eyes narrowing slightly as his mouth tightened, but then he relaxed, determining that there were worse conversations they could have than this one. Looking down at Evie for a moment, he pursed his lips before replying quietly, "Part of me does."

"Only you don't trust her," Nolan supplied, his fingers intertwining before he rested them on his belly, leaning back in his chair.

Nolan was stating the obvious and they both knew it but House jerked his head slightly in confirmation.

"There's too much between you now," Nolan continued, House nodding once more.

"You can't forgive her," he added.

House didn't react in any way this time, Nolan not having said anything yet that House hadn't said two weeks ago.

"It's kind of ironic, isn't it?" Nolan asked philosophically. "You want what you tell yourself you can't have."

House rolled his eyes but then dismissively acknowledged, "_Part_ of me does."

"So why _do _you want to be with her?" Nolan prompted.

"I never said it was logical," he mumbled in reply.

"She's the mother of your child," Nolan volunteered.

"Children," House corrected quietly.

Nolan nodded after a second but then added, "You have a history together."

"_An extremely complicated one_," House supplemented in a mutter.

"She was your first love…"

"Now you make me sound like a _girl_," House dryly remarked, though not negating his statement.

"The heart wants what it wants," Nolan concluded after a pause with a shrug.

House rolled his eyes, his lips curling in distaste. "Is this supposed to be helpful? Is it supposed to _go somewhere?_" he asked with a grunt of irritation.

Nolan ignored his attitude and commentary, instead asking, "Which side is winning?"

At that point House visibly reacted, grimacing.

"The side you're not sure you want to," Nolan determined accordingly, the corner of his mouth rising in an ironic half-smile.

But House chose to remain silent, not seeing how anything he said could make a difference one way or the other.

"Tell me about your Father's Day," Nolan suggested then, changing tactics for the moment.

House expelled his breath but little by little recounted the events of the past weekend, seeing it as a reprieve, however temporary it might prove, from a conversation that had been going nowhere anyway. Deliberating on whether or not to tell him about the… kiss, he finally decided to err on the safe side, if at all, and leave it out, not wanting to have to explain his lack of a physical reaction to her incase the rabbit trail from there led back to last week. But oddly enough, there was not a whole lot he left out otherwise.

Nolan whistled at the gifts House had received. "She spent a nice chunk of change on you," he commented.

House rolled his eyes, wryly stating, "She can afford to," but the corner of his mouth twisted upwards all the same.

Nolan shook his head but then switched topics. "I take it things between you and your mom are better."

House considered the statement but nodded. John hadn't come up except once in passing but that was how he preferred it.

"And regarding Dr. Cuddy's father, at the very least you seem to understand where he's coming from. It doesn't appear that you were bothered by anything he said or didn't say but perhaps implied," Nolan said next.

"He has his own reasons for not being thrilled with me," House mumbled with a shrug as he adjusted Evie in his arms so that she lay sleeping against his chest. "And as her dad, _who is _going to be good enough in his eyes for Cuddy?"

"So where do the two of you go from here? Despite everything between you, you _have _drawn closer to one another. That's quite obvious from where I sit. Just look at your conversation in the girls' clubhouse. You keep trying to push her away, I'll give you that. But it's half-hearted at most."

House narrowed his eyes, staring at Nolan, but then averted them with a huff.

"Do you think the day will come when you _will _trust her again? Is that why you don't push her away completely? Is that what you are waiting to see? If it's _possible _for you to trust her once more?" Nolan prompted.

"I don't know," he reluctantly muttered after a couple minutes of silence had passed. "I… don't know."

Nolan nodded, leaving House to process his own thoughts as their session came to an end.

* * *

June 23rd, 2011

Cuddy glanced at the clock in her office, tired of being there and exhausted from planning for her meetings with department heads scheduled for the next day. Her appointment with Kate the day before had further encouraged her on the home front, but now she was back to work, confronting her calendar and feeling a bit anxious once more. It was hard enough to concentrate knowing she'd be before the board in approximately one week, but all the items on her agenda that needed to get done between now and then were making her crazy. Especially under the pressure of fearing if she wasn't_ perfectly_ prepared, the board would only have one more excuse to push her out the door.

Deciding to screw it and call it a day anyhow, she smiled, having an idea. Maybe she could meet House at RE before he left for the day and take him and the girls out to dinner. That would be a good distraction. A happy one. And House could probably benefit from a night out almost as much as she could.

Shaking her head at that thought, her mind returning to the weekend they'd had, she pushed her chair back and got to her feet, recognizing leaving at four wasn't _that _early by anyone else's standards, even if it was by hers. Shoving files in her briefcase to take home with her, she took one last glance around before grabbing her purse, hitting the lights on her way out and then telling her secretary she was going home for the day.

* * *

Cuddy entered Riverside East's daycare, intent upon surprising House with her invitation out to dinner. She smiled when she almost ran into Ruth, just within the front doors.

"Why Dr. Cuddy, how nice to see you," she exclaimed, externally smiling at the woman who she'd talked to more times than she could count but only seen a handful of times, while internally afraid of what perhaps was to come, knowing that Dr. House had yet to come down for the girls.

"Hello Ruth," Cuddy greeted, giving her a friendly smile. "It's good to see you again too. How are my girls today?"

"They're doing great. I was in the toddler room not ten minutes ago. Rachel was quite happily finger painting. And Evie's doing well also. She's getting big so quickly."

Cuddy smiled wistfully and nodded in agreement. Granted, Evie wasn't _that _big _yet_, but she was certainly charging onward with her development. Suddenly remembering something, she asked for verification, "Did House get a chance to write you a check for next month's daycare costs for Rachel?"

"He left it on my desk yesterday," Ruth assured her.

"Good," Cuddy replied, her expression transforming as she bit her lip, sweetly pleased that he was serious about paying for Rachel's daycare costs; so serious that he'd needed no reminder. It wouldn't have been a problem to write the check herself but the fact that House had done so… Well, it was just… Okay, it was insane to think this but… it made her all warm and fuzzy inside.

"Is Dr. House going to meet you down here?" Ruth inquired then, keeping her tone even.

"No, he doesn't know I'm here," Cuddy admitted, about to turn to head for the door to the infant room. "I'm going to pick up the girls and then head up to his office to surprise him."

Ruth cringed internally because even knowing Dr. Cuddy's intentions, she _couldn't _allow the other woman to take Evie from the daycare. It would completely go against policy. Deciding quickly that it would be best to avoid inflicting her with pain to the extent in which it seemed possible right now, she quickly called out, "Dr. Cuddy, wait."

Cuddy turned around, an eyebrow raised, waiting for Ruth to continue in whatever she'd forgotten to say.

Hesitantly, Ruth gave her an apologetic half-smile and softly admitted, "You aren't on Evie's list of those authorized to pick her up."

Cuddy froze in place, her expression falling, staring at the director as she tried to process what she'd just been told and the ramifications of that. Pulling herself together she dismissively said, "Oh. Well, it must have slipped House's mind. I… I wouldn't have been involved when he did the paperwork. I can understand why he wouldn't have listed me then. But he must have forgotten to update the list. I'm sure it's okay. And anyway, I'm going to head up to his office with her immediately afterward. It won't be a problem. He'll be fine with that. I'm sure he'll change it tomorrow morning after I let him know that he's forgotten to do so."

The smile wilted from Ruth's lips as she slowly shook her head, hating to be put in this position but, this _was _just another part of her job, even if it was an unpleasant one at present. Still, she _had _to reinforce parents' wishes when they'd been so clearly expressed. Softly she replied, "I'm really sorry Dr. Cuddy. But I just can't release her to you. You can call Dr. House, ask if he will be down shortly, and wait for him. But I can't send her with you. Not without a go-ahead." Glancing at her clock she added sympathetically, "He should be here in ten minutes though. He's rarely if ever late. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if he showed up earlier than 5 p.m. on the dot."

Cuddy studied the other woman for a long moment, reading a trace of embarrassment in her eyes along with what Cuddy quickly interpreted as guilt, having seen it plenty of times from others, especially those who worked for her. She frowned, processing this. And then it dawned on her. "He knows he doesn't have me on the list yet, doesn't he?" she quietly asked, emotions instantly swirling within her at this revelation. "He… That's how he _wants_ it. It's not a mistake or something he just forgot to do. He… doesn't want me on the list for a reason."

Ruth didn't agree with or deny her assertion, dropping her eyes momentarily before meeting them again to offer, "If you want me to I can call up to his office and let him know you are waiting for him. I'd be happy to do so."

"What reason did he give?" Cuddy inquired instead of responding.

"I'm afraid this is something you need to discuss with him, Dr. Cuddy. This is really between you and Dr. House. I'm sorry," Ruth answered, her tone firm and yet compassionate, all at once.

Cuddy looked down at the carpet, suddenly horribly embarrassed. With the smallest nod, she then turned and headed for Rachel's classroom, her emotions shifting and tersely thinking a second later after entering the room that at least _that _was permissible for her to do.

* * *

House chatted with Cameron in the lab for a few minutes before he told her to go home, intending to do the same. He stopped briefly in the bathroom and then continued downstairs via the elevator, knowing Cameron would swing back by his office and straighten up things before hitting the lights and heading out. Entering the daycare he went into the baby room, stopping just long enough to tease the girls, check on his godson, and rescue Evie from Sandy's evil clutches before turning to pick up her diaper bag. The door opened just as he went to exit and Ruth held it open for him, closing it behind him once he was in the hallway, her expression one that instantly told him she wanted to talk to him about something serious.

"Can't talk now," House hurriedly exclaimed, not wanting to hear a lecture about his interactions with the workers, which tonight had been relatively innocuous, or find out a parent had made a complaint about him for something or other he'd done or said. "Got another kid waiting for me. This parenting thing, it's…"

But Ruth tilted her head down; giving him a stern look at the same time she let her hand fall on his arm. "Rachel's already been picked up," she began simply, interrupting him.

House's eyes widened in surprise and then he frowned in confusion. "By _Cuddy?_" he asked, not prepared for that surprise.

Ruth nodded.

"When?" he demanded, thinking that as far as he knew, Cuddy hadn't made any mention to _him _about a doctor's appointment or anything.

"Five minutes ago," she replied pointedly. "And before you ask, I _did _call you. You weren't at your desk. Not that it's _my job_ to call you," she added assertively.

"Did she…?" House started to ask, his lips drawing into a frown before the question was completely out.

"I told her she couldn't take Evie with her," Ruth said, not waiting for him to finish asking, her expression one that indicated she took no pleasure from the awkward position she felt he had placed her in. "She said you probably just hadn't gotten around to changing it and said it wasn't a big deal; that you wouldn't mind. She was going to take the girls with her to find you. But when I still had to refuse, she came to the conclusion that you _are aware _that she's not on the list, all on her own. She picked up Rachel and left immediately after."

House sighed, looking away in frustration. "Okay," he finally replied, resigned to the situation and however it would play out.

Ruth nodded and turned, heading back into her office. He watched her go and then adjusted the diaper bag on his shoulder before heading out the door to go to his car, there being no point now in entering the toddler room.

* * *

House faltered upon leaving the building, his eyes falling on Cuddy where she stood beside his car in its handicapped parking space in the front row, her back to him. She glanced back, saw him, and instantly turned away, appearing to swipe at her eyes; but she didn't make any move to leave. Reluctantly House limped for his car, knowing this was not going to be any fun and momentarily wishing he could put off the inevitable.

Coming to a stop a few feet from her, he paused, trying to think of what to say even as he stupidly began, "I didn't know you were coming." He could have kicked himself for saying it, but of course it was too late to swallow what he'd said.

Cuddy turned to look at him, her eyes flashing, already red-rimmed. "Well _excuse me_ for thinking I'd surprise you at work and see if you wanted to go out to eat tonight."

"Cuddy," House quietly said, releasing a pent-up breath in aggravation that this was already going badly and he had no one to blame but himself.

"Do you have _any _idea how I feel right now?" she demanded, hot tears falling from her eyes which she roughly brushed away, hating in that moment any display of weakness she revealed to him.

Evie began to fuss in House's arms, squirming about, and he set the diaper bag down on the ground before placing his hand on her back, tracing circles there to calm her while Rachel looked up from where she stood beside Cuddy, frowning as she worriedly looked from her mommy to her daddy, probably remembering the last argument they'd had, because even if she hadn't been in the room for it, she'd undeniably heard their raised voices and been scared by them.

House met Cuddy's angry eyes, his quick mind already running with all the things she'd said or done that had impacted him in one way or another, with which he could compare how she felt right now if he so chose to throw them in her face. But he held his tongue with unparalleled resolve, forcing himself to stem the flow of creative ways he could lash right back at her. He didn't care so much that they were at his workplace. He'd yelled at and with her while at PPTH more times than he could count. But what stopped him was that he remembered _painfully_ how yelling at her had affected Rachel last time, how upsetting that had been for him _personally_, and how determined he'd been to _not_ get in screaming matches with her when the girls were around from that point forward, if he could avoid it. He was certainly not about to repeat that experience so soon after the last time. Cuddy was upset. He supposed she had a right to be. He… _probably_ should have told her. He just… had chosen the easier way at the time, hoping he'd never find himself in this exact situation. Obviously he'd overestimated his ability to keep her in the dark until he had time to work _through_ his issues, if that was even _possible_.

When House didn't respond she shook her head angrily before sputtering, "Did you _want _to shame me? Is _that _what your _objective_ was?"

"Of course not, Cuddy," he negated, failing to say it in a way that _didn't _sound like she was totally ignorant.

It made her even angrier and yet she managed to demand, "Were you _ever_ going to tell me then? Were you _ever _intending on letting me know that you don't trustme with the simple task of picking Evie up? Or were you just hoping that I'd never find out? Because honestly House, how long did you really _think_ we could go without _this _happening?"

House shrugged. "I didn't expect you to come here today," he said casually, not knowing what else to say. He really didn't see anything that he _could _say to make this any easier for her or for him. Worse, yes. That he knew he could manage. But better? Not likely.

Cuddy scoffed, once more wiping at the angry tears spilling over from her eyes, refusing to look at Evie for that would surely lead to her sobbing hysterically, feeling like she'd been ripped from her arms already in what House had done. "You _humiliated _me just now," she stated through clenched teeth. "At least have the guts to tell me _to my face_ that you don't believe I'm capable of picking Evie up from daycare!"

"It's not that I don't believe you are capable of…" House quietly mumbled.

But Cuddy wasn't listening, her mind busily occupied with one thought after another as several realizations struck her simultaneously. Interrupting, she declared, "But it goes beyond that, _doesn't it?_ You don't trust me with Evie, _period, do you?_ That's why you _always _take her with you Wednesday nights, why you _readily_ offer to watch the girls or come with if I'm going to take her someplace, why I can't remember _a single time_ when you've gone somewhere and left her _in my care_."

"Cuddy, it's not that I don't trust you with her," he interjected in exasperation, rolling his eyes.

"Just what do you think is going to happen if you leave her with me?" she demanded hotly. "What?"

House looked away, staring down at the concrete, unable to confide in her his fears, fears he knew were mostly groundless and irrational, even if that didn't change the fact that he still harbored them within him. It didn't help that she was ready to attack him at the slightest provocation, though he couldn't say he'd have been able to explain even if she _wasn't _so furious with him.

Cuddy's jaw clenched, her head tossing from side to side in a mixture of absolute frustration and burgeoning hurt. "Why don't you just_ say it?_ Go on! _Spit it out!_ You're waiting for me to relapse, aren't you? You think I'm going to lose it again and this time I'll hurt the girls! This time you worry it will be worse than a case of Rotavirus! Wow. It's a wonder you trust me with _anything_! I'm surprised you _allow _me to be around _either one_ of the girls! I'm surprised you even trust me to give Cookie Monster food and water when he needs it!"

"_Cuddy, no,_" he rebuked, his head shooting up to look at her as his hand stretched out to grasp her arm, momentarily ignoring Evie's cries which were quickly increasing in volume.

But she jerked her arm away from him with a terse "_Let go of me,_" taking a step back before reaching for Rachel and picking her up, jostling her on her hip before turning to storm off towards her car half a second later.

"Let me take Rachel," he exhaled before she could take more than a few steps away, kicking himself even as he said it, not because he didn't wholeheartedly believe that _given the circumstances _it _would_ be better for her to ride with him, but because he knew it would only further enrage Cuddy and that wasn't at all what he desired to accomplish here.

Cuddy jerked to a halt, her body heaving for a second before she turned to glare at him while he silently pleaded with her to see reason in this, Evie continuing to cry in his arms as Rachel watched him, beginning to look morose and whimpering now.

"Last time I checked, Rachel was _my _child and I had the _right_ to make whatever decisions I saw fit regarding what was in her best interests, all on my own," she bit out. "Or are you telling me that I can't even handle _that?_"

House met her gaze with stunned eyes and then dropped his, swallowing hard against the sudden knot in his throat. Closing his eyes as his gut clenched he forced himself to shake his head, responding with a somber, "No. You're right. Rachel is yours. You have every right to do whatever you want."

For a moment in time Cuddy felt a physical ache run through her, mingled with a jolt of repentance for her harsh words. She wasn't after a "his and hers" type situation. She didn't want to suggest that Rachel didn't belong to House too, nor did she want to imply his opinion regarding Rachel's wellbeing was something she could care less about. Especially when he'd… just paid for her daycare costs, readily parting with his money to provide for Rachel. Again. And without complaint.

But just as quickly she lifted her chin into the air, forcing herself _not_ to cave and crumble, folding the hand she held and giving him the victory. _No_. He had been _unnecessarily_ cruel to her and she _deserved _to strike back, fighting fire with fire.

House finally looked up, his eyes settling on Rachel rather than Cuddy, taking in her quivering bottom lip and the whimper leaving her mouth. "Why don't you take the time to cool down before you come home?" he muttered then, not eager to continue this with the girls' present if it was going to go on in this tone.

Cuddy laughed shrilly, her eyes narrowing even further. "Like I'm going to even _bother_ coming home," she shot back, turning then to go to her car, Rachel watching her daddy wide-eyed over Cuddy's shoulder as he stared after them.

He waited until she drove off a minute later, just grateful that she hadn't ripped out of the parking lot, leaving tire treads behind her accompanied by the smell of burnt rubber, before he rubbed his forehead and resignedly turned to his car, using the key fob to unlock the doors, opening the back door and placing the diaper bag inside. Evie clung to him, noisy sobs wringing from her, not wanting to be put in her car seat, not wanting to be separated at all from him, and he heaved a deep sigh before opening the front passenger door, sinking down into the seat before adjusting Evie in his arms so he could attempt to calm her so they could eventually make their way home.

* * *

"Mommy, that's a bad word," Rachel admonished from the backseat, her voice trembling only slightly as she'd calmed a little over the course of the drive. "Winsey said we not allowed ta say that. Winsey say that naughty. Jared hadta sit in the time out chair. He not get to paint wid us."

Cuddy cringed at the rebuke, meeting Rachel's eyes resignedly in the rearview mirror. She was pissed off but Rachel was right and she should know better than to even mumble a curse word under her breath in Rachel's presence. Her baby wasn't a baby anymore. And she certainly didn't want to give her the impression _she _could get away with talking like that.

"You're right, Rachel," she began after taking a deep breath to calm herself. "Mommy shouldn't have said that word. She's just really upset right now. But she's sorry. She won't say it again."

"Okay," Rachel replied, looking out the window then. A couple minutes passed by before she piped up, "Where we going, mommy?"

Cuddy glanced back at her, biting her lip. "We're going to go to the old house," she replied, aiming for a note of cheerfulness in her voice. "We haven't been there together for a while, huh? I bet it will be fun to see the toys you used to play with while Stephanie watched you."

Rachel nodded in agreement before her head turned again to look out the window as Cuddy drove through their old neighborhood.

Five minutes later Cuddy unlocked her front door and quickly entered the code into the security system to avoid the alarm going off and having to take the telephone call from those on security detail that would follow if it did. Setting Rachel down she then shut and locked the door before leaning against it, letting her head fall back so that she could stare at the ceiling. She'd come by a few times to check on the house, briefly cleaning it the week before, but otherwise she hadn't spent more than a few minutes here at a time since Rachel had started attending RE's daycare. The house smelled funny; uninhabited and slightly stale, despite all the furnishings that had remained as they'd been before moving in with House, and her parents having visited, staying here just a few days ago. It might help if she opened up some windows. She probably needed to replace the plug-ins as well. Realizing that she hadn't stopped to grab dinner anywhere, she tried to remember what she still had in the house. From memory she knew that the fridge was pretty much empty, unless her parents had left stuff behind them, which seemed unlikely as her mom was kind of a stickler about not leaving things to go bad and for the most part, they'd all eaten at… the other house. Cuddy supposed it was possible she'd be able to whip up some dinner from the contents of her pantry or out of what remained in the freezer though.

Sighing, she brought her head forward only to be confronted with Rachel watching her from where she stood in the middle of the hallway, uncertainly contemplating her mother. Summoning the best smile she could manage, Cuddy asked, "Do you want to play with the toys we left here?"

Rachel shook her head, having apparently already come to the decision that the toys she liked best weren't here anyway. "Me want to go home," she murmured, pouting.

"This _is_ our home," Cuddy replied stubbornly, for her own sake more than Rachel's, and okay, perhaps to spite House even if he wasn't present. She didn't really foresee moving back, but she wasn't going to cross it off as not an option, especially if this was going to be how House was with her, his mistrust now glaringly obvious to her. Could she really live with him, knowing that he was willing to have her there but obviously didn't have a whole lot of confidence in her as a mother? Today she had more than her share of doubts.

"Want to go to _other_ house," Rachel contested. "Want to play with Cookie Monster. Want Baby G."

Cuddy squatted down, reaching for her, and Rachel obediently came forward into her mother's arms. Hugging her close, Cuddy kissed the side of her head and said, "We're going to stay here tonight Rachel. But you'll be able to play with Cookie Monster another time and I think we've got some baby dolls here that you can play with until we get Baby G."

"Daddy coming? Baby Ebie?" Rachel asked, her mouth up against Cuddy's collarbone.

Cuddy's eyes pressed closed for a moment before she answered in the most high-spirited voice she could induce, "No. Not tonight. Tonight it's just you and me. But we'll have a slumber party and you can sleep with mommy in her bed. Doesn't that sound like fun? Just us big girls?"

Rachel nodded but her expression lacked enthusiasm and Cuddy wondered momentarily when children mastered the art of telling someone what they wanted to hear, rather than the truth. Pushing the thought away, she picked Rachel up as she straightened, getting to her feet. "Let's go investigate your old room and see what we have that we can play with before we put dinner together," she suggested then.

* * *

House concentrated on feeding Evie her dinner, not feeling hungry himself. He wanted to believe that Cuddy would come home once she'd had time to cool down, but honestly, he didn't hold out much hope for that. He wasn't actually worried that she _wouldn't_ be coming back. Cuddy was stubborn and upset right now, but he _knew_ she would be back. After all, exactly how long would she last away from Evie before that absence wore her resolve down? If she loved Evie now as much as he thought she did, the answer was not long. Oh, she'd put in an admirable effort into holding out as long as possible, maybe waiting in hopes that he'd come to her. This was Cuddy after all. But _eventually _she'd be back. She might also stay away, assuming he would then acknowledge that he _did_ trust her with Evie by adding her to the list, but… House didn't see that happening yet and certainly not under these circumstances. He'd never liked being cornered into doing something he wasn't ready to do and with this he knew he just wouldn't take that route to appeasement.

House pursed his mouth, wondering if he _should_ go to her though. But if going to her now meant more fighting, he just didn't have it in him. Especially because he _would _have to explain himself at some point and his willingness to do so would go out the window if she was too angry to give him half a chance. The fact that he was even considering explaining, being _that _honest, was a shock as it was. He had to give her credit though, House thought sheepishly. She'd known where to strike him with that barb about Rachel, even if he was almost certain she didn't _really _mean it. At least, not _completely_. Recognizing that Evie was now playing with her food more than eating it, he got to his feet, heading for the sink to grab a washcloth and clean her up before he wiped down her tray.

Once he was done he lifted her free of the highchair and carried her out into the living room, setting her on the floor with her toys, Monster trailing after them carrying a chew toy. House turned on the TV and channel-surfed for a while before he grew tired of it and got up to go to his piano. Sinking down on the bench he began to play, one eye on Evie. Now was a good time to play whatever he wanted to, not having a little girl in his lap who wanted to play with him. But he hadn't been playing ten minutes before he realized he was running through all the songs he typically played with Rachel. Annoyed with himself, he consciously made an effort to focus on some of the pieces he'd come up with all on his own. This lasted until he found himself halfway through Cuddy's Serenade. Dropping his fingers hard against the keys, he gave up, turning so that his eyes fell on Baby G, who Evie had tracked down in the corner where Rachel had left her this morning, and whose arm Evie was currently sucking on. Huffing out a breath, House contemplated whether Rachel would even sleep tonight if she didn't have Baby G with her. But he figured if not, maybe that would motivate Cuddy to just come home.

Pushing himself off the piano bench, he limped over to Evie, picking her up. Ten minutes later he had her in a clean diaper and pajamas with a bottle in her mouth. He wondered what Cuddy still had at her place for Rachel to sleep in. The kid had spent the last week stubbornly refusing to wear anything to bed _other _than her Princess and the Frog nightgown. In that second he recognized how light he'd gotten off, in a manner of speaking. Evie didn't have the first clue what was going on and for her, short of Cuddy and Rachel's absence, nothing had changed to greatly impact her world tonight. Cuddy on the other hand was stuck coping with a two year old who probablywanted _her_ doll, _her_ currently favored pajamas, and _her_ familiar bed right about now. House smirked momentarily, seeing how that set things in his favor, considering that dealing with a tired, whiny two year old might just send Cuddy running home. Especially if Rachel wouldn't go to sleep for her. But then the smirk fell from his lips. Because he realized that really wasn't what he wanted. Deep inside, House wanted her to come home because _she _wanted to; not because she felt she had no other _choice_. Making up his mind with a grimace of resignation as to what he was going to do, he got back up from the couch and carried Evie upstairs with him, grabbing a duffle bag from the closet along the way.

* * *

Cuddy was tired and extremely frustrated. She had Rachel lying down in her bedroom on her bed which they would be sharing tonight, but even from the living room she could hear the toddler crying. She'd remained in the room with Rachel for a half hour, but nothing she did seemed to help the situation, her presence only making it worse, and finally she'd left her alone, figuring she'd fall asleep on her own and that if she stayed, they'd _both _end up in tears. If it wasn't one thing, it was another. Ever since dinner, things had been a disaster. Rachel wanted Baby G. She wanted Cookie Monster. She wanted her Princess and the Frog pajamas. She wanted her princess toothbrush. She wanted to help feed the baby her night night bottle. She wanted her favorite sippy cup. She wanted daddy to give her bedtime kisses and read her a story. Well, Cuddy wanted all of those things too but there was _no way_ she was going to go running home to House as if _she _was the one responsible for the falling out they'd had today. Unless… unless this continued for another hour. Cuddy really could only stay firmly resolute so long, especially when one of her daughters was crying just down the hall while the other was too far away to even check in on and give bedtime kisses to. And considering all Cuddy wanted right now was to bury her face in the crook of Evie's neck, breathing in the comfort of her clean, baby smell, the temptation to get into the car with Rachel and head home held a rapidly increasing appeal to her.

The doorbell rang, catching Cuddy by surprise, and her eyes widened as she looked in the direction of the door before glancing out the window to see House's car parked on the street out front. Lifting her chin, her mouth forming a frown, she determinedly remained where she was. If he'd come to repent, she'd let him suffer a little longer. Then maybe he'd feel her pain and grow some humility, being the one to ask _her _for forgiveness this time. When she didn't hear anything she smugly smiled to herself, imagining him at the door, trying to find the hidden key that was no longer out there. She didn't even care if he got impatient with her. Fighting with him a little longer would give her time to take him down a notch the way he had her.

It was weird that he'd rung her doorbell though, she thought to herself thirty seconds later, her smile reversing itself into a frown. He rarely if ever did that, instead hammering on her door with his cane until she opened it or he let himself in. Unless he was truly aiming to be polite in order to appease her since she was pissed at him, but of that she couldn't be sure. Contemplating it, she realized that he probably wasn't alone out there. And the idea of seeing Evie and being able to hold her when she hadn't all day was enough to motivate her into getting to her feet to head for the door. She paused a second before opening it, not wanting him to see just how eager she was to lay eyes on the two of them, waiting until she had a somber mask in place before cracking the door open with a huff. But when she did it was only to watch House's taillights drive off down the street and into the night, carrying two of the people she loved most in the world, _away_ from her.

Bewildered, a dose of the repentance she'd wanted him to feel washing over _her_, she stared in the direction his car had gone, her mouth suddenly dry, now feeling even more bereft than she had ten minutes ago. Her face fell and she dropped her gaze to the stoop, catching sight of a duffle bag that lay by the foot of the door. She hesitated only a moment before bending to pick it up, sighing as she did. Setting it down on the couch once inside, she reluctantly unzipped it, pulling out the contents one by one. Draping the work outfit he'd obviously removed from her closet for her over the back of the couch so it wouldn't get any more wrinkled than it already was after being stuffed in a duffle bag, Cuddy then set aside the makeup bag he'd also tracked down in her bathroom to include and reached for what Rachel needed and House had been, dare she say it, thoughtful enough to include: her doll, pajamas, blankie, a couple changes of clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, and… even the little picture of the four of them that Rachel usually had beside her bed. The knife in her heart twisted at that piece of evidence of just what she'd ripped apart tonight, if only temporarily, as her eyes filled with tears. He'd come, but not to apologize. And yet he'd been considerate enough to go the distance, collecting things not just for Rachel but for her as well; things she personally could have made due without but would have been annoyed with herself to have had to. Although honestly, she'd worn this particular outfit only three weeks ago. She wouldn't normally wear it for _at least _another week, and technically, she _did _still have clothes here, being that her supply was rather extensive.

At the same time, he'd taken away the only excuse she felt she had to return home tonight with her pride intact, something she hadn't really realized she'd been longing to do since shortly after arriving here. Wiping her tears away, she picked up what Rachel would need tonight, grateful that she had remained in the bedroom rather than coming out at the doorbell, before heading slowly for her bedroom, hoping Rachel would settle for her things and not figure out that their presence here meant daddy had come and gone without seeing either one of them.

* * *

June 24th, 2011

Cuddy lay awake at two in the morning, Rachel curled up beside her on the bed, one arm securely clutching Baby G to her. She turned her head to study her daughter before reaching out to stroke her hair back away from her face, tucking a lock behind Rachel's ear. The little girl had fallen asleep almost immediately after exchanging what she had on for the pajamas House had brought, exhausted after a rough couple hours following dinner. Biting her lip, Cuddy smoothed her hand over the blankets and then lifted up the picture frame that Rachel had placed before her head, refusing to close her eyes without it right there where she could see it. Rachel had creatively found her own way to kiss daddy goodnight and right now Cuddy was fighting the urge to follow suite, reminding herself that she was angry with him, that he'd hurt her deeply today, and that there was _no way in hell_ she was going to kiss his picture _under those circumstances_. Turning so that she was lying fully on her back, she stared at the picture in the moonlight, her eyes tracing over Evie before flicking to House, studying him. Finally she placed it reluctantly on her nightstand, pulling the blankets up more securely around her.

She didn't understand him. How could he be _so _supportive of her building a relationship with Evie and yet not trust her with the simple task of picking Evie up from daycare or watching her for a few hours while he did what he had to do? Was it all just an act? Did he really not believe in her at all? Was she…? Did she still come across as… _unstable_ in his eyes? Cuddy lay there, listening to the noises her house made in the silence of the night as she contemplated what exactly she was supposed to think right now, each creak of the house making her tense up and kick herself for it afterwards. The very idea that she's grown so accustomed to living with House as to feel uncomfortable and unsafe in her own house, somehow missing the security of knowing he was right downstairs as if he was some _vigilant protector_ for her and the girls, made her angry. She'd enjoyed having Lucas around. But she'd never needed him present to feel safe in _her own home_. So how had she gotten to the point where she no longer felt comfortable here without a man's presence? Or was it not _a_ man but _this _man in particular? Was it House who made her feel this way – wishing he was close by? Not feeling at ease without him? When a half hour passed without her falling asleep, she climbed from the bed, stopping in the bathroom before heading out to the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea, telling herself she had nothing to fear in walking the hallway of her own house in the middle of the night, _especially_ with the alarm on.

Ten minutes later, a hot, steaming mug in her hands, she found herself climbing the stairs to the attic, not having intended to wind up there but suddenly driven to look through her storage space in search of the box containing some of the items she'd saved from med school. She finally found the box she thought she was looking for, having shoved a number of boxes aside while stacking others to dig it out from where it had been buried in the far corner, slowed down by whatever it was that made her exit the attic every few minutes to pause, listening for something that she _never heard_ to warn her that she needed to get back to Rachel _quick, _as if she was living in a scary movie or something. Having found it, she dragged it across the floor and then undid the aged yellow tape from the sides to pry the lid up, not surprised to have the tape fall apart in her hands as she removed it. The fact that it had lasted this long was probably remarkable enough.

The sound of raindrops on the roof had her glancing towards the small window along the wall and for a moment she watched the rain streak down the window as if the sky was sad to find her back here as well, before refocusing on the box in front of her. Her parents had several of her possessions in their storage space, mainly furniture that she had wanted to hold onto but hadn't had a place to keep, though they also had several boxes of keepsakes and odds and ends from her childhood. But this box she had oddly brought with her, perhaps because she suspected within it were several of her old, now archaic medical textbooks. Maybe she'd been crazy enough to think they might come in handy again. She wasn't sure. In any case, this box was here with her. Digging through it, she found the old calendars she'd saved from that one year in Michigan when House had been with her. For a brief second she wondered if she'd remembered that she had these here when she'd raced off to Georgia, if she'd have rummaged for them in order to destroy them too, along with Lucas's things. But somehow she doubted it. Maybe because it would have taken time and effort she hadn't expended in readying herself to leave before her mother returned home, but mostly because she didn't think even then she'd have had it in her to trash mementos from her time with House. And maybe she hadn't remembered then because her mind was subconsciously protecting her from doing something she'd probably have always regretted. Anyway, if she hadn't succeeded with her attempts to rip apart and then discard the memories she'd made with him, would she really have managed to destroy these things? Setting them aside to peruse later, she looked back down into the box, rummaging through the contents on top.

And that was when she saw _it_; the package she'd carefully wrapped all those years ago with the intention of preserving it exactly as it was. Tenderly lifting it out, she ran her hands over the packaging with a soft caress, knowing within lay the t-shirt she'd found in her room between her bed and the wall the day after she and House had made love that first time, the one she'd intended to return to him but… hadn't. Then he'd disappeared from her life and it had been virtually impossible to return it at that point, even had she wanted to. Cuddy now took great care in unwrapping it, as if it was a delicate piece of art rather than an old, faded t-shirt. Easing it out a moment later, she knew this was what she'd come up to the attic to locate.

Cuddy lifted it to her face, inhaling, and for a second she could have sworn it smelled of the House she'd known back then. But reality was that it did _not_ smell as it once had, the scent of his cologne having faded with the years until it disappeared completely. The momentary memory of his scent was just a figment of her imagination, carefully preserved until it was necessary to bring it forth for its reminder. She closed her eyes, remembering how she'd slept with the shirt up against her face, one hand entwined in it, for three weeks straight after he'd left. She also remembered how she'd come home one day to find it folded on her bed along with all her other laundry, her roommate having washed it, fed up with Cuddy's behavior, descent into an abyss of sloppiness, and rapidly worsening personal deterioration. She relived how she'd screamed and cursed at her, hysterically beside herself to have it smell like her roommate's laundry detergent rather than the man she'd fallen so hard for only to cruelly lose long before she was ready to. In vain Cuddy now attempted to count out all the colognes she'd tried out at various stores before she'd located the one she'd immediately recognized as Greg House, and how she'd cried with relief at knowing she could now sleep with the shirt smelling at least in part how it should again, startling the poor salesclerk who ultimately rang it up for her and who was obviously relieved when she left the shop moments later. It was odd really, that despite how crazed she'd been when Lucas walked away, she had _never _hunted down _his_ cologne to breathe it in once more. In fact, she couldn't even remember now whatcologne he'd worn. She assumed he had worn cologne. He must have. But she didn't have the first clue what kind.

Looking back, _twice_ her life had fallen apart. But while people could hear about both times and conclude that a man was the common denominator, Cuddy wasn't so sure that was accurate. The first time her world had been obliterated by the loss of a man she'd loved desperately, undoubtedly; the second, by the loss of all she'd built up for herself and dreamed of finally possessing, albeit, through _another_ man. Turning it around over and over in her head, she changed her opinion once more. A man _was_ the common denominator in both situations. But the men from both situations were one and the same. She'd never have clung so hard to Lucas if it hadn't been that she'd already thought she'd lost House forever in him once more walking out of her life, that time to go to Mayfield.

Ignoring the still open box, Cuddy got to her feet, placing the t-shirt over her arm before reaching for her mug with the other hand, only then descending the attic steps and hitting the light behind her. Once back in her bedroom she pulled the t-shirt she'd intended to sleep in over her head, casting it aside carelessly before donning House's shirt. Climbing into bed beside Rachel, she briefly thought of how silly it was to feel like she could now _finally_ sleep in peace before closing her eyes and doing just that.

* * *

House woke to the baby monitor relaying the sound of Evie babbling "mama" in her crib. For a second he smiled, thinking of how happy mornings like this made Cuddy. But then he remembered she wasn't home and therein, wouldn't even be aware of Evie's happy mommy mood and his smile faded. He turned over onto his back, propping his head up on his arms to stare at the ceiling. Already weary under the weight of an oppressive, unidentifiable emotion, the day not having even begun yet, House huffed out a breath through his nose, only forcing himself to climb from the bed when Evie started rattling the crib's railing a few minutes later.

"Hey kid," he sleepily greeted her, rubbing his face hard to wake himself up more while he approached.

Evie smiled happily around the fist she was gnawing on where she stood at the crib's railing, holding on tightly with her other hand. "Da da da da da," she chanted contentedly upon his entry into the room.

Lifting her out, he unzipped her footie pajamas after laying her down on the changing table, nuzzling her belly with kisses to evoke some giggles from her, smirking when her hands grabbed fistfuls of his hair. When he'd finally unknotted her fingers, dryly commenting about how he needed his hair more than she did, he undid her diaper, changing it before he reached automatically for where Cuddy had taken to setting out outfits for him the night before. Glancing over when his hand encountered emptiness, he sighed, having realized what the problem was. Picking her up then, he walked over to the closet, opening the door to find her something sickeningly _cutesie _to wear, just in case Cuddy… well…

A half an hour later he had her in the car seat, having already fed her. Instead of going to RE first to drop her off, he just took her with to the gym. But working out with her present quickly became harder than he'd anticipated, since she no longer had any desire to sit still. Finally he spread out a handful of Cheerios on her blanket with her, and while it lasted anyway, continued his workout with a little less trouble.

* * *

Cuddy _had _seriously given consideration to taking Rachel in to work with her today, but the fact that she had budget meetings with department heads made that a very bad idea which would never work. That didn't leave her with many options and so she found herself pulling into RE's parking lot to drop her off, absolutely _hating _that she had to go back in there and show her face the day after her absolute humiliation, even if she was really hoping for just a _glimpse_ of… _Evie_, she asserted internally.

Unable to help herself, she looked about the parking lot, not spotting House's car where he normally parked. She didn't know whether to be disappointed or not. _Okay, _she _was_ disappointed, but… He usually dropped the girls off _before_ he went to the gym, right? Evie might still be here.

It was with gratitude that she entered RE to spot Ruth with her back to the door, busily typing away on her computer while speaking with someone on the phone. That eased some of her mortification in the events of yesterday. She couldn't be certain but she assumed Ruth would have kept the events of yesterday to herself; she hoped anyway, as she didn't want anyone else to know of her humiliation.

Rachel had woken up in a much better mood than she had been in the night before, happily prancing about while Cuddy readied for work, excitedly playing the role of a Chatty Kathy as she chirped on and on about going to daycare. Now as she dropped her off in her room, Cuddy couldn't help but be relieved and reassured that Rachel was doing fine, even if yesterday hadn't been a great day for _either _of them.

After kissing her oldest goodbye, Cuddy couldn't help but stop to peek in the window into the baby room. She backed away quickly upon spotting Cameron within, dropping off Elliot, but not before noting that Evie was nowhere to be seen, her cubby void of belongings as well. An ache filled her chest at having apparently come too early for even a _glimpse _of her youngest daughter, but not having much choice and not wanting to run into Cameron, lest she be in on or aware of House's refusal to put Cuddy on the list of people able to pick Evie up from daycare, _especially goaded now _by the fact that Cameron was on the list and that she had included her on Rachel's list too, she beat a hasty retreat from the building, pretending like she was unaffected by the absence of House's car pulling into the lot as she pulled out.

* * *

"Rachel here yet?" House asked Ruth resignedly, stopping in her doorway to peek in upon his arrival.

"Let me check," she replied after meeting his gaze, pretending that she wasn't a little concerned about why _he _wouldn't know that himself. With a few clicks of her fingers over the keyboard, she pulled up the security camera located in the toddler room, House stepping in to glance at the screen when she nodded and said, "Yes. She's having pancakes with the other kids at the table."

He stared at her image on the screen and upon glancing his way, Ruth thought his expression almost wistful before it was masked as House then nodded, adjusting Evie and the diaper bag in his arms as he turned to go and drop her off.

Ruth watched him go without further comment as House made his way into the baby room. He absentmindedly replied to Becky's greeting, freeing Evie from her constraints before passing her over to waiting arms. Looking around, he spotted Elliot and the corner of his mouth tugged up at the little baldie lying there, content to do absolutely nothing as he stared at the mobile dangling over him where he lay in a bouncer. If he wasn't already late, House might have asked to hold him for a minute.

Turning he made his way out of the room, pausing briefly in the hallway. The pull was there. He wanted to just walk into the toddler room and check in on her. He wanted that… a lot. But he didn't want to make things worse, either. _Still, _Rachel was _here_. That had to mean _something, right? _Maybe at lunchtime, he decided, heading for the nearby set of exit doors to go up to his office instead.

* * *

"Two down, four more to go," Cuddy mumbled under her breath as she set aside her notes from her meetings with the first two department heads and prepared for her third to show up in the next ten minutes. Deciding it was time to freshen up her lipstick, needing any additional confidence booster and general pick-me-up she had at her disposal, Cuddy reached down and into her purse where it lay at her feet. Digging around within, she wryly thought of how once upon a time her purse had carried the barest of essentials. Now the thing housed all kinds of paraphernalia it hadn't just three years ago; a four-pack of color crayons, a tube of mini M&Ms for persuasion purposes with Rachel, a stick of stain-guard, a baby comb, a miniature picture album, the kid's book "Sleepy Dog", princess band-aids, a pair of socks incase she ended up detouring to a park with Rachel and had to switch shoes. And yet… it _was _perhaps _still_ the barest of essentials; just for the life she led _now_.

Finally finding her lipstick, she pulled it out and opened the tube, adjusting it before glossing it over her lips. It made her think of that day and how House had watched her intently as she'd applied it. A sad smile traced her lips, which she had to shake herself out of upon finding them quivering seconds later, on the verge of another good cry. She choked down the knot of emotion and tucked her lipstick back into her purse, blinking to keep tears at bay. _He_ was the one at fault here. _He _was the one who'd hurt _her; _who'd _screwed up_. She was _not _going to be the one to come crawling back. She _wasn't._

* * *

"You're distracted," Cameron commented as she entered the room with lab results to see House staring off into space once again. It wasn't that it was so abnormal to come upon him like this. He did after all spend a lot of time deep in thought, pondering his current cases and working through them in his mind for a solution. It was just that today he seemed to be genuinely _bothered _by something outside of their current case which had come in yesterday, though not _miserable_ as he'd seemed the week before_, _and that made her curious, wondering what was on his mind.

House shook his head to deny her statement, ignoring the pointed look she then sent him. "What did you find out?" he asked in obvious redirection.

"Blood test results look clean. STD panel was negative. His blood pressure does seem low and to be fluctuating, but… it's not the cause of his symptoms. Most likely, it's just another symptom to be added to all those he's already exhibiting. Oh, and the chest x-ray was clean," she completed.

House nodded thoughtfully and then gave her directions on what tests to run next before sending her on her way. Glancing at the clock, he noted it was just after eleven. He wanted to go see Rachel in an hour. And yet… he didn't want to be presumptuous. At the same time… would Cuddy really have brought her _here_ if she intended to separate them to get back at him for yesterday? Maybe if she didn't see any other choice.

He wanted them to come home tonight. He didn't want this to drag through the weekend, making him miserable at the unresolved conflict, at the uncertainty, having it affect the girls as well as a consequence. He didn't want to have to explain himself but… it wasn't like he had much _choice_. It seemed like one would have to precipitate the other. Which made him think that if he really wanted that, it fell to him to… _do_ _something_.

Sighing heavily, he reached for his phone, certain that he could manage a genuine apology for… hurting her, even if he couldn't extend one for the decision he'd made. That was going to be the problem and he _wasn't _explaining himself over the phone. Dialing her cell phone number regardless, he waited for it to ring, swallowing his reluctance. After two rings she answered but she didn't say anything at all and he realized this was it. She was waiting for what he'd say to determine how she would respond so he better choose carefully. This was his opportunity. His _one_ _shot_.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and softly murmured, "Cuddy, I…"

_Click._

House stared at the phone a second and then he lowered it, setting it down on his desk. What had he…? How was that the _wrong _thing to say? He hadn't even said _anything_. Propping an elbow up on the edge of the desk, he brought his head down, dropping his forehead into his palm, kneading the area above his eye with it. So much for having a shot. She hadn't even given him the time _necessary_ to _screw it all up _by saying the wrong thing. Guess that was his answer.

* * *

Cuddy sat in her office with Dr. Thomas, a man who, at the moment, she found to be overbearing, extremely egotistical, and more than a little annoying. She wished she could compare him to House but she found that she couldn't, because a suitable comparison between the two didn't exist. House had _enjoyed _getting a rise out of her when he'd been here at PPTH. He'd livedto push her buttons, to argue, to engage in a battle of the wits. _This man_, on the other hand, just generally _was_ insufferable; an arrogant and haughty bigot. He didn't even care _to _push her buttons. He simply irritated her naturally, effortlessly even, just through his pompousness.

"_Dr. _Cuddy," he stressed, causing her to waver between interpreting that as a false sign of respect or a snide hidden insult. "The increases made by the board last year in funding _my _department, _barely _helped at all. They were most decidedly insufficient to make the improvements necessary to take us to the top. I've told you before and I'll tell you again, if you _want _to keep this hospital on the cutting edge, if you _want _to compete with the big boys, while _I'm _a great resource to you, it's _not enough. _Not when I don't have the resources available to me that I require. To achieve greatness with my department, to become number one on the East Coast, I_ need _these demands to be _met!_ You can't _expect _me to settle for anything less. And the responsibility falls to _you_, to provide me with what I _need_ in order to make my department unparalleled in its success rate."

"_Dr. _Thomas," she threw back at him firmly, turning his list around so that it faced him before tapping her finger upon it forcefully. "Let me just tackle your points one at a time. First, you already have _three _of these. I'm not asking for funds – I'm _not _asking for another half a million to buy you a _fourth_ when you haven't even had the patient load to justify buying the _third_ one you insisted we needed six months ago. I only agreed to purchase it because you assured me that you would make use of it. You have not done that and I've been _very_ disappointed. Secondly," she began, her finger moving down to the next item to be ticked off only to be mentally interrupted by the sudden vibrations of her phone where she'd stuck it in her pocket. Reaching for it, she patted the outside of her pocket and blindly hit the button to silence it half a minute later as she drew her thoughts back together while trying to remove the phone, struggling to do so, and continued, "Given the economical situation of our country, we are trying to make wise _cuts _to facilitate the expenses we can't afford _not_ to pay, but we are _not _trying to increase spending _unnecessarily_. Now, that isn't to say we don't realize that there aren't certain expenses we have to make room for and that overall, our spending _will _continue to increase as is only to be expected, but it _does_ mean, _Dr._ Thomas, that I'm not going to stand up for you in the board meeting next week when you haven't justified _to me _that this list of additional expenses is warranted and defendable. And looking at number two on your list, I'm going to tell you right now, hiring three more doctors to assist you with your workload falls in the category of '_Never Gonna Happen.'_"

Dr. Thomas snorted and she took that moment to glance down at her phone and check to see if she'd missed a call. Her eyebrow knitted in confusion. She was positive it had vibrated yet it said nothing of a missed call. Thinking it over, she wondered if maybe she'd had an alarm set to remind her of something a long time ago that had since been removed from her calendar. But now was not the time to check. Maybe she'd find time to after Dr. Thomas made his exit, which, given the way he was huffing right now, was impending and thankfully so. Directing her eyes back up to meet his, she tilted her chin up another degree and then moved her finger down to the third item, _slightly _relieved that she'd arranged her schedule so as to have a short lunch break after this meeting for a recovery period before her day marched onward, carrying her into the next meeting she had planned for. She'd need the break by the time Dr. Thomas left her.

* * *

"I'm going to take a lunch break and go feed Elliot," Cameron informed him, pushing her chair back from the table where she'd been studying the file. "Are you coming along to check on the girls?"

House pursed his lips but then shook his head. "Not today," he replied tiredly. "I'm going to try and spend some time working through this case."

"We only received it yesterday," she pointed out with a raised eyebrow. "The patient's stable right now anyway."

He just shrugged, reaching for the file to flip through it himself. "For however long it lasts," he finally threw out there.

Cameron pursed her lips but asked concernedly, "House, are you alright?"

"Fine," he briskly replied, not looking up at her.

Cameron wavered where she stood but then sank back into the chair across from him. "You _never _drop everything to focus on a case this early into it when the patient's condition is stable. And _especially _not your time with Evie and now Rachel as well. Come on. Talk to me. I know I'm not Wilson. I know I haven't been around much lately with having the baby and everything. But… _spill_."

House rolled his eyes in response, not really in the mood to share and slightly offended that she'd think he might have been _hurt _by her implied neglect of him since Elliot's birth.

"Fine, I'm not leaving until you tell me," she asserted, folding her arms over her chest as she leaned back into the chair.

He gave her a disbelieving look and then muttered, "Fine. Stay. _Starve_ your kid. But I'll have you know, as his godparent or whatever my official title _is,_ I'll have to report you at the first signs of abuse or neglect."

"He's not going to _starve,_" she dryly corrected, smiling slightly at his inane declaration. "They've got breast milk in the fridge in case I can't make it."

"Fine. Then suffer _yourself_. I know for a fact that you haven't gone off to milk your jugs today and if the way you've been uncomfortably shifting, trying to better support your _chest_ is any clue, you're overdue right now," he retorted. "And just to remind you, Junior _won't_ appreciate spoiled milk."

"Ugh, you're so _crass_ sometimes," Cameron muttered under her breath, slightly annoyed with him. "Fine. Keep your confidences. But… I _am _here if you decide you _do _want to talk." And with that she got up and slipped from the room, leaving him alone to try and work through things on his own, his thoughts traversing the distance between his problems with Cuddy and his patient's current condition.

* * *

"Hello, Dr. Cameron," Ruth greeted her as she exited the baby room, about to head back upstairs, Elliot's tummy now full and the baby sleeping in a crib.

"Hi," Cameron replied with a smile, pulling the door closed behind her.

Ruth's hesitant smile changed slightly as she looked over Cameron's shoulder to ascertain that House wasn't within. "Do you happen to know if Dr. House will be coming down today?"

"Not on his lunch break I don't think," she responded simply, shaking her head.

"I see," Ruth said in acknowledgement of her answer, glancing away, her lips firming against each other.

"Is something wrong?" Cameron inquired, not understanding.

Ruth pursed her lips but then hesitantly explained, "Well, I'm not sure. But one of Rachel's teachers came to me to let me know she's having a rough time. She was fine all morning. She was her normal happy-go-lucky self. But I guess when Dr. House didn't come down as he normally would, she became upset. Some kids are just more prone to liking the consistency of a schedule, and I think Rachel has Dr. House mentally penciled in to arrive to see her each day. Being that he hasn't come, it's seemingly creating a problem for her. They are trying to get the kids to go to sleep for naptime now. I was going to wait and see if Dr. House came down before I gave him a call. I think she's starting to get worked up by his absence and while I'm not sure just what is going on, I think it might help if she was able to see him." She supposed that was a slight hedge on the truth, for she wasn't completely without her own suspicions due to what had taken place yesterday, however, all the same, there really wasn't an _appropriate _way to be more honest than she just had been and so her statement would have to do.

"I could take her up with me," Cameron offered.

Ruth gave her a grateful smile at the offer but replied, "I appreciate that but if he's busy, I don't want to send Rachel up to him at an inconvenient time."

"I don't think there _is _an inconvenient time when it comes to Rachel needing him," Cameron quipped with a small laugh. "_Especially _if it gets him a break from work. _But, _give me a second. I'll call him and see what he wants to do."

Pulling out her phone she hit House's number on speed dial and then waited for him to pick up.

"Yeah?" he answered distractedly.

"Hey. It sounds like Rachel's having a tough time over not having seen you today," she teased with an affectionate smile on her lips. "Ruth wondered if you'd be able to spend at least a few minutes with her to try and calm her down. I could bring her up with me if you want. I'm still here."

House hesitated for a moment but then agreed, not about to call and check with Cuddy if she was only going to hang up on him again. "Sure. Bring her on up. I'll bring her back down myself." And with that he hung up.

Shaking her head, Cameron slipped the phone back into her lab coat pocket before meeting Ruth's eyes. "He said I should just bring her back with me and then he'll return her to you in a while."

Ruth nodded. "Thank you," she acknowledged, waving her onward in the direction of the toddler room.

Cameron entered the darkened room to see all the toddlers on their cots with the exception of Rachel who was sitting in Alicia's lap rather fitfully, crying softly. Heading in that direction, she squatted down before the little girl and asked, "Rachel, do you remember me? Elliot's mommy, Auntie Cameron?"

Rachel nodded slowly, a tear tracing its way down her cheek as she turned a little more outwards so that she could see Cameron better.

"Do you want to come with me? I'll take you up to see daddy in his office," she assured her.

Rachel nodded more dramatically this time, practically shoving herself out of Alicia's arms and into Cameron's, who caught her readily, lifting the both of them up as she straightened. Alicia quickly verified that Cameron was on Rachel's list, something Cameron hadn't thought to worry about, Ruth not indicating it would be a problem but which left her relieved regardless to find out. Then with a quick whispered thank you, she slipped out the door with Rachel, leaving the rest of the toddlers to their naps.

* * *

"Daddy!" Rachel tearfully shouted as she caught sight of him and slipped down the length of Cameron's body to race to him, clutching at his legs as he reached out to steady himself, having been facing the other direction when the two had entered the office, House staring out the window in thought.

Reaching for her, he untangled her arms from him in order to pick her up, sinking into his office chair with her a moment later.

"Hey kid," he murmured into her hair, leaning back in his chair to get comfortable.

"Why you not come see me?" she whimpered into his shoulder, holding tightly to him.

"Sorry, squirt," he said simply, not knowing what else to say to her.

Cameron took a seat across the desk from him and then directed her attention to the whiteboard and what he'd written there and crossed out since she'd gone downstairs.

"How's Evie?" he asked her over Rachel's head, stroking his fingers through the little girl's locks.

Cameron gave him a smile. "She's fine. Extremely chatty right now, babbling up a storm down there. She was in a highchair eating spaghetti when I entered, making a royal mess. I'm pretty sure you'll be picking mashed up spaghetti noodles out of her hair tonight."

House's mouth quirked into a smile even as he shook his head in feigned annoyance. "Great," he muttered.

Cameron's eyes fell on Rachel then and she smiled slightly before determining to give them some time alone. "I'm going to go check on the patient and look over his chart," she informed him, getting to her feet again.

House nodded but otherwise didn't reply, waiting until she was gone before mumbling, "You tired, kid?"

Rachel's head bobbed up and down slightly against his chest before she pulled back a little. "You read me a story?" she asked hopefully.

"I don't have any kids' books here," he admitted.

Rachel puffed out a little breath, frowning before she demanded, "You tell me story anyway."

House scoffed his incredulity but Rachel gave him a puppy dog look before sweetly whining, "_Please?_"

Rolling his eyes, he wracked his brain, trying to remember a story he could tell her. Five minutes into an extremely _rough_ adaptation of Peter Pan, House looked down to find she'd fallen asleep. Unable to hide a smirk, he glanced out his door to make sure no one was about before pressing a kiss to her forehead, adjusting her in his arms so that her head rested against his opposite shoulder, face turned slightly into him, before reaching for his phone to text Cameron with instructions for a few more tests he'd like her to run.

* * *

House rubbed his face hard, weary after his patient had suddenly collapsed in the middle of a treadmill test. Cameron had argued against running one but House was grasping at straws and ready to risk worsening the patient's condition if it meant getting some answers _before _the weekend. He'd been able to rule out a few more things but he still didn't have an answer for what was going on. Now he was pacing his office, pausing to stare every few minutes at the whiteboard while Cameron monitored the patient's condition and reran some tests.

When the phone on his desk rang, interrupting his thoughts, he huffed out an exasperated breath at the disruption before stalking to it to answer.

"Yeah? Dr. House here," he gruffly answered, attempting some modicum of office decorum just in case.

"I'm so sorry to disturb you, Dr. House," Ruth rushed to say. "But Rachel woke up from her nap and didn't do so well with the discovery that you were gone. I think she was under the impression that you'd be there when she woke up too, or perhaps, that you were keeping her with you. I wouldn't call but I've never seen her like this. She's throwing a first-rate temper tantrum. I'd call Dr. Cuddy but I figured you are closer and you are currently who she wants to see. I'm not usually one to give in to a child's demands in the midst of a temper tantrum, but… again, I've never seen her like this. Plus, her behavior is only escalating as time passes. I'm not worried about the other children. Rachel's a really gentle girl and I don't think she would intentionally hurt anyone. But I _am _concerned she'll hurt herself if this continues. She's been awake for over a half hour now and it hasn't come to an end on its own. I'm just not sure it will until you show up."

House's eyes drifted shut as he raggedly exhaled, not knowing what to do. But as there was really nothing he _could_ do for his patient at the moment, and he didn't exactly _need _to be here in order to think about the case and process, he didn't have a hard time reaching a decision, opting to be where he _was _needed right now. "I'll be down in five," he replied, hanging up without waiting for a response. Grabbing his phone he sent Cameron a quick text to let her know where to find him should she need him.

House froze in the doorway to the toddler room, staring wide-eyed at his normally overtly sweet-natured little girl as she stood in the far corner of the room, screaming angrily with her eyes squeezed tightly shut, her fists clenched, all red-faced and puffy from her tears, while the daycare workers tried to talk to her where they kneeled beside her in calm, soothing dulcet tones, hoping to break through her fury and force her into quieting in order to hear whatever they were saying to her, all the other kids watching wide-eyed at a safe distance, being some forty feet away at the snack table, though not a one of them was eating, too busy watching the scene before them as it played out.

And in watching, Ruth hovering fretfully behind him, his own anger was stirred to a boiling point. Not having anyone better to direct his anger at and being quite frankly, _done _with accepting blame for everything that went wrong himself, in that moment all his frustration turned to Cuddy and how she'd hung up on him that day, not even _allowing him _opportunity to try and talk to her.

Not bothering to look at her, House tersely instructed, "Call Cuddy and tell her to come get her kid."

Ruth hesitated, her eyes widening as she watched him stalk across the room, having never seen _him _like this before either. But House reached for his kid, not giving her opportunity to fight him as he picked her up and buried his face into her hair to find her ear. Turning once she saw Rachel melt into him, exhausted from the fight she'd put up to get what she wanted and relieved to have him there, Ruth headed for her office, at peace with leaving him behind in order to carry out his request… or more accurately, his _demand._

* * *

House had come _very _close to tersely demanding Rachel _stop it right now _in his aggravated state, but it was wholly unnecessary as she quickly realized it was him once he'd picked her up, and then clung to him like a baby monkey, trying to wrap her little legs around his waist to lock herself to him so he couldn't leave her, her fingers twining into his shirt with a strength and a death grip he hadn't known she'd possessed. "You suppost to stay wid me," she cried noisily between shudders and gasps, repeatedly into his chest. "You suppost to stay wid me."

"_Shh_," he hushed, stroking her back now in calming circles, not even aware that he'd begun to rock himself back and forth slightly with her in his arms, his back to the room at large. "Shh. Daddy's here, Rachel. Daddy's got you. You _know_ daddy has to work. He _had _to bring you back here. He was right upstairs where you visited him this morning. But daddy's got you now. It's okay. Everything's _okay_."

"You not leab me?" she asked uncertainly, continuing to cry into him, wetting his shirt with her eyes and runny nose, her grip only relaxing slightly.

House sighed, not knowing how to answer that because it called for a very careful reply, not promising her anything he really couldn't guarantee in the long-term. "Rachel, mommy's coming to get you," he finally mumbled into her hair, thinking she _better _be. "I'll stay with you for a little bit but then I have to go back to work."

"_No,_" Rachel immediately shouted, her voice only muffled by how she'd buried her face further into him, her little nose rubbing uncomfortably against his sternum even as her fingers dug into his skin a bit now in the attempt to further secure her position with him.

"Rachel, you're hurting daddy," he quietly informed her, causing her to relax slightly for that was certainly not her intention, nor something she wanted to do.

Bringing her head up to meet his eyes, her lower lip trembling and face still red and wet, she caused him to cringe momentarily with a snot bubble before she leaned in once more to blow her nose against his shirt, increasing the whole grossed out factor by several points. Once she'd taken care of her problem as best she could, her head once more rose to find him. "_Don't leab me, daddy_," she softly murmured, swallowing hard. "_Me wanna go home wid you. Me don't wanna go to the udder house. Me wanna go home._"

House adjusted his hold on her to free a hand, smoothing back the strands of hair that had gotten stuck to her now sweaty forehead and damp cheeks before turning with her to locate a box of Kleenex. Ginny, having already conjectured there would be such a need, was already in the middle of bringing him one, pulling out several tissues to pass to him as she approached.

"Thanks," he mumbled under his breath, taking them from her and receiving a nod in response.

House mopped Rachel up before heading over to the little bathroom nearby, setting her down on the counter beside the sink within to do a better, more thorough job of cleaning her up with paper towels and baby wipes at his disposal. She sat there, looking up at him and sniffing loudly, one hand still holding onto his shirt to ensure he couldn't move too far away from her. He stared at her worriedly, not understanding how she could be acting like this. Granted, she hadn't been brought back home to her now familiar environment last night, to her own bed and all her things, but… it _had_ only been _one _night away. She was acting like he hadn't been around for the past week and she was afraid she'd never see him again. There was nothing about her behavior that indicated an understanding of this being a temporary situation. And he couldn't figure out why she, as little as she was, wouldn't just automatically _assume _it was temporary, whether or not it ended up being such. _Especially _because she'd come right back here today, even if he hadn't initially intended to come see her before talking with Cuddy and somehow getting her… permission, something he never had actually accomplished anyway. Frowning, he stroked her cheek now that it was clean and dry. Maybe he really just didn't understand the kid's viewpoint. Maybe she was picking up way too much from his or Cuddy's demeanor and mood. Or maybe… Maybe Cuddy had told her or implied this would be permanent and that was why her behavior was so bewildering today. Raking his free hand through his hair a second, he then turned his attention briefly to his own shirt, trying to wipe off as much snot as he could before focusing back on his kid.

Lifting her chin with a finger, despite knowing it probably wasn't the wisest move he ever made, he nevertheless gruffly promised, "Rachel, your mommy's going to come get you. And when she does, you have to go with her. Maybe that means you'll be going back to the old house where you two used to live. _For now_. But that doesn't mean you're going to be there forever. You _will _come home."

"Want to go home _now,_" she whined. "Want you take me dere, _now._ Want Cookie Monster. Want Ebie."

House gave a small chuckle and bent slightly to scoop her up. "I can't take you home now. Your mommy decides when you come home. But I _can _take you to see Evie."

Rachel nodded, hugging his neck, and he lifted her before turning to make his way from the bathroom, giving the classroom teachers a helpless look before making his way with Rachel to the baby room.

* * *

Cuddy drove to RE, her third to last meeting of the day having been interrupted even as it drew to a close through by her secretary informing her that she had a phone call from Ruth McCormick at the daycare, asking her to come pick Rachel up. She'd automatically excused herself from her meeting, stepping out of her office to find her secretary expectantly sitting at her desk, and instructed her to reschedule the rest of her appointments for first thing Monday morning, knowing neither Wilson nor Dr. Visker would take issue with that. Then she'd gone back into her office just long enough to grab her purse before heading to her car.

Now she took the time to replay in her mind all that Ruth had said over the phone. Rachel's morning had gone smoothly but then ever since shortly after lunch, her day had contained its share of ups and downs, well, mostly _downs,_ according to Ruth. She hadn't gone into detail but she _had _told her that Rachel had thrown a very uncharacteristic temper tantrum that was particularly concerning. She'd then proceeded to reassure her by expressing that the tantrum had already come to an end and Rachel now appeared to be slowly improving, due to… Housemaking an appearance, which frankly, only made Cuddy ache for him _herself_; but all the same, Ruth felt it would be best if she came and got her. Cuddy had agreed to do exactly that. She'd felt bad enough, having intended to call and check in on her _and Evie_, if she had enough courage by then, only to be preoccupied with meetings and what came out of them, not finding the time to call.

Cuddy stopped at the next light, dropping her head back against the headrest. _What_ were they doing? To each other? To the girls? Okay, granted, Ruth hadn't said a word about Evie in her call, but… all the same. There didn't seem to be _anything _that happened that _didn't _affect all of them.

The car behind her honked its horn, startling her into motion with an apologetic wave over her shoulder. It was almost embarrassing to be called to pick up your child for something like this. Rachel very rarely _ever _acted out in any way at all. Oh, she could be a stinker when she was overly tired, but otherwise she was practically a little angel. What was she supposed to make of this? Clearly the situation needed to be resolved and Rachel… reassured in some way. But what did that _mean? _House had succeeded to calm her by _something _he'd said or done. Was Rachel okay now or was whatever was the matter only _temporarily_ fixed? And just what had Rachel _done? _What did Rachel throwing a temper tantrum at daycare even _mean?_ Had it been like the week before when she'd thrown herself down on the floor? She'd managed to calm her down fairly easily. If they had been unsuccessful, had it escalated in some way? Cuddy had been so bewildered by the call expressing concern with _her _daughter's behavior that she hadn't taken the time to demand answers. Pulling into RE's parking lot, she quickly unbuckled her seatbelt and threw her door open, narrowly missing the paint job on the vehicle beside hers as she got out of the car and then hurriedly made her way into the building, ready to ask some questions and get some answers.

* * *

House glanced at his watch, figuring Cuddy would be here any second now, assuming she'd left right away. Ruth had entered the room to inform him she would be coming and that had been enough to cool his heels slightly, that and the fact that Rachel was even now sitting on his bent good knee where he sat on the floor, his bad leg stretched out to the side. Evie was before them, happily babbling away at Rachel and evoking a giggle from her older sister every few seconds as she continuously threw her head back to stare at the ceiling, almost losing her balance as she laughed at nothing at all, seemingly aware her big sister could benefit from her bizarre silliness. Reluctantly, he moved Rachel from his lap and carefully got to his feet before instructing, "Rachel, why don't you give Evie a kiss? Daddy's got to get back to work and your mommy should be here any second."

Rachel didn't look happy about it but she crawled towards Evie, pressing a kiss to Evie's open mouth before patting her head none too gently, getting to her feet. House took her hand then and tussled Evie's curls himself before leading Rachel from the room.

He _knew_ it wasn't fair of him to blame Cuddy for the situation seeming to have spiraled out of his control, as every other area of his life seemed to do, _repeatedly; _especially when in this case it was _both _of their faults and perhaps more his than hers justin not being straightforward with her about her not being able to pick Evie up from daycare, nothing more, he amended to himself. But nevertheless, when he saw her enter the daycare just after exiting the baby room, not in the outfit he'd brought her the night before, which was a stupid thing to take personally even if he had thought it was fairly considerate of him, but also not even looking at him to acknowledge his existence, he couldn't help the wave of anger that washed over him at being hung up on earlier in the day as if she didn't even care to hear from him, nor see him, apparently.

Cuddy avoided House's eyes initially, the moment feeling awkward and increasingly uncomfortable as she had no idea what to say to him and didn't want to be the first one to extend the olive branch after yesterday's events. Now in his presence, she once more really felt like that was _his _responsibility anyway. Focusing instead on Rachel where she stood beside House, Cuddy made her approach, trying not to breathe in too deeply before also breathing out, oddly terrified that even the faintest whiff of House's cologne would send her crashing into his arms, forgiving him without him even having to ask her to or doing anything to correct such an injustice as she felt she'd suffered the day before, therein somehow giving him a "Get Out Of Jail Free" pass in the future, should he continue to do things like this to her.

"Rachel," Cuddy murmured softly, not really knowing _what _to say to her daughter just yet, one hand stretching out towards her, beckoning her to come forward.

Despite her continued hold on House's hand, Rachel's body moved into him, turning so that her left arm wrapped securely around House's leg, and he looked down at her with a raised eyebrow as she fisted the material of his pants directly above his knee, apparently not about to leave him easily, and grievously, quite possibly as a response to how his own hand had perhaps tightened even if only in a miniscule measure, upon hers, now that Cuddy had arrived. Rachel watched her mommy over her own shoulder, softly whispering a, "_Hi mommy_." But just as her arm had encircled House, her little right leg rose up and around him, contrasting with her greeting.

House imagined for anyone else this would have been rather amusing. But it just made him feel all the more culpable for Rachel's current issues and the frown on Cuddy's face told him she wasn't any happier about this than he was. Exhaling raggedly, he released Rachel's hand to carefully reach for her, gently prying her loose, ignoring her protests.

Cuddy came then and lifted her up, not allowing Rachel opportunity to further attempt to clasp onto him as the little girl reluctantly entered her arms, wrapping around Cuddy, though one hand was extended in House's direction, ignoring how her mommy was whispering in her ear and stroking her hair reassuringly now.

House's pager went off and he quickly grabbed at it, silencing it while reading the message. His patient had crashed again and was now showing signs of organ failure. They'd screwed up somewhere. He was sure of it. And he hadn't been around for over an hour to be of any use. He needed to go. Before it was too late.

Moving towards Cuddy and Rachel, he held her hand so that she couldn't grab him, making this more difficult still, and leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead, murmuring, "Daddy loves you, kid," before meeting Cuddy's eyes for the briefest moment as she looked at him, swallowing emotion at his tender words.

Stunned to watch as his expression hardened, his eyes revealing he was somehow upset with _her_, Cuddy's own eyes widened and she tossed her head about, not seeing how he could hold _her _responsible for this when it was clearly _his_ fault, if either of theirs. "House…" she began, her voice pinched.

"_I am NOT dealing with you right now_," he tersely informed her, waving her off. Huffing out a breath, he continued, "My patient just crashed. I have to go. And since I am_ NOT _happy with you at the moment, to avoid saying something I'll live to_ regret, _I'm_ going _to walk away._ Now. _Call me when _YOU _decide you're ready to listen." And with that Cuddy and Rachel watched as House stormed off, Rachel whimpering slightly at his departure.

If she'd been angry with him before, Cuddy was _livid _now. Her arms tightening reflexively around Rachel, she headed in the opposite direction, heels tapping resolutely against tile, entering the toddler room seconds later to collect anything Rachel might need over the weekend. "What happened?" she practically demanded to know from Ginny, the closest adult to her.

Ginny bit her lip but then gave Cuddy a brief recap of the events of the day.

"_Rachel,_" Cuddy gasped disbelievingly, having calmed down now from her earlier fury following House's declarations. "Why would you _act _that way?"

"Me wanted daddy," Rachel grumped into her shoulder.

"Yes, I kind of gathered that," Cuddy acknowledged, shaking her head. "But we don't throw fits when we don't get our way. We use our words."

"I did!" Rachel asserted, nodding vigorously. "But they not bring me daddy!"

Ginny looked like she was about to account for herself and her fellow staff members but Cuddy waved her off, not about to be _that _mother, the one who believed her child was above reproach and so clearly someone else _had _to be at fault. Focusing completely on Rachel once more, she said sternly, "You don't always get what you want, Rachel. Daddy has to work. He can't always come just because you want him to."

Rachel's lip trembled but with a slight trace of defiance Cuddy rarely saw crop up in her, she stuck her little chin up in the air and whined, "But daddy not kiss me goodnight. He not come for naptime. I not see him. _Want_ to see him. _Want daddy_."

Cuddy exhaled slowly and then rubbed her face tiredly, feeling much more understanding of Rachel's point and behavior than she _wanted _to be at this moment. "We'll talk about this at home," she murmured simply.

Rachel brightened and nodded, squeezing Cuddy's neck happily before setting her free to slide down to the floor. Cuddy didn't know what that was all about but she didn't doubt Rachel was ready to leave after the day she had so she said her goodbyes to the girls, apologizing as well, before turning with Rachel skipping alongside her to make her way out the door, thankful to have this day somewhat over with, too.

Cuddy couldn't help pausing outside the baby room door, peeking in to spot Evie where she sat with Michelle on the floor in an absolutely delectable little dress Cuddy had been waiting to see her in, playing patty cake, giggling and clapping each time Michelle exclaimed, "Yea!" Biting her lip against the bitter taste suddenly washing across her tongue, induced by a combination of hurt and envy, not to mention the feeling of being misplaced from her proper place in Evie's life when she'd only just been instated, Cuddy dropped her gaze and turned away, taking Rachel's hand to head for the car.

She climbed into the car after buckling Rachel in, only to realize she'd forgotten her things at the office and would need them over the weekend. Sighing for what seemed the millionth time in the past twenty-four hours, Cuddy glanced in the rearview mirror to meet Rachel's eyes and said, "Honey, we've got to go back to mommy's office before we go home."

"Okay," Rachel sweetly agreed, holding Baby G in her arms.

Sending her a grateful smile, Cuddy pulled out of the parking lot, forcing herself to _not _look wistfully in the direction of House's car.

* * *

"_No!_" Rachel yelled from the backseat two hours later before starting to cry.

They'd stopped briefly so that Cuddy could pick up dinner for them, after having gotten caught at the office for much longer than she'd intended to be, but it wasn't until they'd pulled into the driveway at the _wrong _house that Rachel's next meltdown happened.

Cuddy stopped the car and then turned to look back at her in shock, not having any idea where this had come from. Only two minutes ago Rachel had been happily chatting away from the backseat.

"You said we go home," Rachel drew out in an accusatory sob, her little body shaking with emotion. "You _said! Daaaaadddeeee!" _she howled fitfully with increasing emotion.

And that was when it dawned on Cuddy the mistake she had made in ever telling Rachel they'd be going home. In her distracted state of being thrown by House's anger and Rachel's fit, she hadn't thought about her word choice carefully enough.

"Let's go see a movie, Rachel," she announced out of the blue, looking for a distraction, unable to deal with this herself at the moment.

Rachel immediately stopped crying, blinking at her in complete bewilderment as she choked on a few sobs. "A moobee?" she repeated tearfully, her state making her pronunciation even more skewed than being a two and a half year old still working through pronunciation already did.

Cuddy nodded with the best smile she could manage. "When we were driving past the movie theater, I saw them advertising a showing of Hercules for a dollar per child and three for an adult. Want to go see it with mommy? We'll get popcorn and pop, maybe even buy some candy." Cuddy didn't have the slightest clue why she troubled Rachel with the details, for she knew full well that where Rachel was concerned it hardly mattered, but she did it all the same.

Rachel was rather clueless about what her mother was talking about, being that she'd never gone to the theater in her life, but she nevertheless echoed, "Candy?"

Laughing softly, Cuddy nodded.

"Me get M 'n emmy's?" Rachel pressed with a dramatic sniff.

"Yes, you can have M&M's," Cuddy acquiesced. "So? Are we going to go see Hercules?"

"Me like Hercules," Rachel admitted thoughtfully before nodding in agreement.

"Good," she replied, reaching back to wipe the tears from her daughter's cheeks as she sighed her relief before putting the car into reverse and pulling back out of the drive. Glancing at the clock, she figured she and Rachel would have enough time to eat at least _part _of their dinner in the parking lot before they'd have to get in to purchase tickets and refreshments before the movie started. This could quite possibly turn out to be just pushing off the inevitable. But Cuddy hoped not, because she really could stand a break in this otherwise awful day she was having.

* * *

House was extremely annoyed. Whydid he have to get a new patient on a _Thursday_ and on top of that, _why _did it have to be someone who repeatedly crashed like this guy was? Cameron had called it a day at 5:30, heading out, whereas he'd only accompanied her downstairs long enough to pick up Evie before returning to his office with the baby, not quite ready to give up and wanting to accomplish _something _good today, only _then_ calling it a day. The weird thing about working at RE versus PPTH _and _being a single dad, or… well _no_, that _was_ still technically what he was, because he wasn't exactly in a… _typical _relationship with Cuddy… not one that fit in a definable category that would eliminate him from single dad status anyhow, but… What had his point to himself been? Now he couldn't remember. House huffed out an exasperated breath, adjusting Evie's bottle in her mouth before he remembered. Oh. Yeah. The weird thing was _now_ he really _was_ a 9 to 5'er. He didn't _have _to come in on his days off. Well, maybe he hadn't had to before either but… Anyway, he didn't _have_ to stick around (although the point could be argued that Dr. Cooper certainly was in favor of him doing so, at least until his patient was in a stable condition). Yet here he was, still trying to work out the mystery that was his patient, albeit, with baby in hand. Glancing at the whiteboard, he paced with her in the crook of his arm, distracted whenever her hand would come up in an attempt to pat at his scruffy cheeks.

"You _and _your sister seem to be under this ill-conceived notion that I'm nothing but your teddy bear," he harrumphed with feigned irritability.

Teddy bear. Turning, he wiped off a few symptoms from the board that could be attributed to some of the tests they'd run, added another, and then smiled smugly, proud of himself. Man, it was insane how he solved his cases sometimes.

Turning, he grabbed his cell phone from his desk, dialing Cameron's number.

"House, I haven't even made it home yet. What happened now?" she huffed in exhaustion.

Smirking to himself, he headed out of his office with Evie, ignoring her question to declare, "Ixodes scapularis. He has a Babesia infection from a blacklegged tick, also known as a deer or bear tick. _OR_… _ixodes scapularis_."

There was silence for a moment as the cogs in Cameron's brain turned and then she doubtfully replied, "But that doesn't make sense. I mean, it _does _explain the flu-like symptoms he's had and the beginning signs of organ failure, but… He hasn't left the house in… forever. He's a computer geek. He has no pets. He even said he _hates_ nature. The man practically spends twenty four hours a day holed up in his apartment downtown. Where would he pick up a tick?"

House continued to limp down the hall and to the doorway of his patient, popping his head inside when he saw a nurse within. "Do a blood smear and look specifically for _Babesia_ parasites under a microscope," he ordered the nurse on duty who was checking the patient's chart from where she stood at the foot of the bed, moving the phone away from his mouth enough that Cameron could hear him but wouldn't blow out an eardrum in the process.

"You think it's babesiosis?" the nurse asked in confusion, glancing at the baby in his arms that he'd forgotten all about in coming down here.

House rolled his eyes at the way she was suddenly looking at him all doe-eyed, not appreciating the smile she shot him, clearly thinking it was a sweet picture he presented with his baby in tow. Cameron was talking to him but he ignored her. And while secretly he was just thankful to find this nurse even remotely knew what he was talking about, between the way she was looking at him and the fact that he was never one to give a compliment without his own version of justifiable cause, he retorted, "Well, that _would _be _one _explanation for why I'd ask you to look for those _specific_ parasites under the microscope."

It was the nurse's turn then to roll her eyes as the smile fell from her lips. Flipping through to the history the patient had given, she stated, "But the patient said he's been working on developing a new computer program and hasn't left the house, other than to get groceries and his mail, in a month. Moreover, there was no sign of either a tick, or a bite, when he was admitted."

"Exactly what I said," Cameron echoed in his ear.

House waved at the air, dramatically dismissing both of their statements. "That's because he was never actually _bit _by a tick. This wasn't his initial problem upon entering the hospital. It was when he received that blood transfusion that things went wrong. There's no test yet licensed to check blood donations for Babesia. If the donor had a silent Babesia infection, it could easily have been transmitted to our patient without detection. It's not very common but it _has _happened before. And besides, even had he himself been bit by a tick, it would have more than likely happened in the nymph stage when the tick was about the size of a poppy seed. That's a mere fleck of dirt or a freckle, to most people. Not exactly the size a bug has to be for someone to take notice of it on their body."

"And that explains…" the nurse began doubtfully.

"Okay, I'll take your word for it," Cameron expressed, clearly more willing to trust his instincts than the nurse who didn't spend much time around him.

House glanced back at the patient and then nodded in his direction, not really caring what _either _thought since he _knew _he was right. "His immune system had already been compromised. Everything worsened drastically when that was combined with the parasite contained in the transfused blood. Look at him. He's starting to look jaundiced, and yep, that is most _definitely _darker urine than would be considered to fall in the normal range. Add hemolytic anemia to his list of symptoms. He's worsening. Now go do your job," he declared with a haughty scowl, "and do the blood smear to confirm, not that I need it to know _I'm right_."

The nurse shot him a dark glare but then turned to walk towards him, stepping around him where he stood in the doorway without comment. Well, at least until she called him a three letter word under her breath.

"Oh, don't make me blush," he called after her rather jovially before adding in a firmer tone, "Continue with the vasopressors for his blood pressure, along with the treatment of Clindamycin and the Quinine once you get confirmation. And get ready to put him on dialysis too!"

"You get so cocky when you're right," Cameron commentated in his ear, despite the amusement he detected in her tone.

"What can I say?" he inquired facetiously. "When you're good, you're _good_."

"And to think you've been so well-behaved lately," she added with a sigh, going on to tease, "I'm going to blame this relapse into general jerk-hood upon whatever it was that threw you _and _Rachel into strange moods and socially unacceptable behaviors today."

"Mind your own business," he ordered, though he didn't come across as anything other than moderately put out with her for calling him on his undisclosed _issues _he'd refused to confide in her about.

"Go home, House," she dryly replied, shaking her head on the other end of the line.

"I think I will. Thanks for your permission," he agreed sarcastically, turning with Evie to head back towards his office, hanging up shortly thereafter.

* * *

Cuddy stared at the popcorn littering the floor at her feet, quickly deciding she _hated_ this movie and would never watch it again. Or more specifically, she hated _Meg and her Muses_. Honestly, was there anything _worse _than feeling like you could seriously compare your life with that of a Disney heroine? Oh, maybe if you got your happily-ever-after with the hero it was all fine and dandy. But when the movie just served to rub your heartbreak in your face? When you realized your unlikely hero was a cruel yet mouth-watering, blue-eyed, scruffy-faced, way too smart for anyone's good, diagnostician?

The song currently playing on the screen soured her all the more.

"_If there's a prize for rotten judgment_

_I guess I've already won that_

_No man is worth the aggravation_

_That's ancient history - been there, done that!_

_(Who d'ya think you're kiddin'?_

_He's the earth and heaven to you_

_Try to keep it hidden_

_Honey we can see right through you (Oh no)_

_Girl, ya can't conceal it_

_We know how ya feel and_

_Who you're thinkin' of)_

_Oh, no chance, no way  
I won't say it, no, no  
(You swoon, you sigh  
Why deny it? Uh-oh)  
It's too cliché  
I won't say I'm in love_

_I thought my heart had learned its lesson_  
_It feels so good when you start out_  
_My head is screaming, 'Get a grip, girl_  
_Unless you're dying to cry your heart out'_

_Oh (You keep on denyin'_  
_Who you are and how you're feelin'_  
_Baby, we're not buyin'_  
_Hon, we saw ya hit the ceilin'_  
_Face it like a grown-up_  
_When ya gonna own up_  
_That you got, got, got it bad?)_  
_Whoa_

_No chance, no way_  
_I won't say it, no, no_  
_(Give up, give in_  
_Check the grin-you're in love)_  
_This scene won't play_  
_I won't say I'm in love_  
_(You're doin' flips_  
_Read our lips: you're in love)_

_You're way off base_  
_I won't say it (she won't say it, no)_  
_Get off my case_  
_I won't say it_  
_(Girl, don't be proud_  
_It's okay, you're in love)_

_Oh_  
_At least out loud_  
_I won't say I'm in love"_

Shifting her eyes to Rachel, Cuddy's expression melted from the scowl it had been set in to a tender smile at the little girl cuddled up in her arms. It wasn't going to make leaving any easier, but all the same, Cuddy couldn't deny that she was grateful to find the little girl sound asleep. And if she could keep it that way, there was a chance this night might not end with another disaster, allowing her one more night to figure out what to do about House and the situation at large before she really had to make up her mind about how to proceed. Just thinking of him her scowl returned, once more aggravated by his tone and irritation with _her _when she'd shown up to pick up Rachel. Maybe she _was _partly responsible for Rachel's tantrum earlier today and how it must have _inconvenienced _him. But it was nowhere _near_ her fault _alone_.

Cuddy didn't _like _being one of those people who walked out of a theater, leaving their mess behind. Her perfectionism got in the way every time. Plus, she just thought it was inconsiderate to create _more _work for someone else when you could do such a simple task yourself as tossing your trash away as you left. Nevertheless, tonight there didn't seem to be much choice available to her. Not bothering to wait for the movie to finish since Rachel was asleep and _she _certainly didn't need to watch it for her own benefit, as annoyed as she was right now with the interfering Muses not allowing Meg to forget all about her true love, moving on to lead a happy, satisfying single life without a man to crush her at every turn, Cuddy reached for her diet pop, finishing it before adjusting Rachel in her arms to permit her to vacate her chair. After situating herself and her things, Cuddy _did _grab her popcorn, figuring she could at least discard the messier byproduct of a trip to the theater. Then she headed for the exit, rolling her eyes when a tubby man in the row behind her actually had the _audacity_ to boo her for blocking his view of the screen as a whole for all of two seconds. She wasn't even going to _think _about what made a man in his mid-forties come to _Hercules_, a children's movie, unaccompanied by minor children, considering it had been out of the theater since the late '90s and he could just as easily watch it elsewhere in the privacy of his own home, if he was some sort of Hercules _fanatic_.

* * *

After buckling Rachel into her car seat, Cuddy drove home. If it occurred to her to wonder what House and Evie were doing right now, well… what could she say? It was… to be expected and only natural that she'd think about her baby in being away from her. Pouting unconsciously for the rest of the ride home, it was with gratitude that she pulled into the driveway in front of her old house. And it was with _relief _that she lay Rachel down on the bed, still sound asleep though fully dressed, five minutes later. Tucking the blanket over her after removing her shoes, she smoothed back her hair before moving to exit the room, turning out the light but leaving the hallway light on as she went to make herself a cup of tea.

Steamy mug in hand some ten minutes later, Cuddy slipped out to the living room, turning on the TV to find something to watch. But since she'd cancelled her cable service _and_ it was a Friday night, there seemed to be nothing good on. Glancing over at her shelving unit, she perused her DVDs, her interest catching when her eyes lit upon the first season of Glee. She'd watched the first half of the first season quite religiously with Lucas after he'd gotten her hooked on it. But then he'd walked away, her life had fallen apart, and she'd had _no_ interest in watching it as the second half of the first season began, for it had only served to remind her of the past and good times when she'd been with him, reinforcing how miserable she was. Now, completely _past _what had kept her from watching it before, she remembered how much she'd enjoyed the teenage drama for its comic relief and got to her feet to pluck the second half of the first season off the shelf, finding it still in its packaging, her mother having sent it last year when it had been released, knowing she loved the show, though Cuddy hadn't been interested in taking advantage of the gift just then. Two minutes later she was situated on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, hot mug of tea in hand as the first episode began to air.

And the first two episodes _did _do wonders for her through distracting her from her own problems, helping her forget all about House and his heartlessness towards her. But deciding to watch just one more episode before turning in for the night was her downfall, for the third episode washed away all the good those first two episodes had done her, leaving her teary and morose.

Right around the moment April said, "Guess I've been just feelin' a little lonely, you know?" it set in. Cuddy, like Rachel, suddenly just wanted to go home. Completely forgetting about House's ire earlier, setting aside her own hurts and the injustices she felt had been committed against her, ignoring everything but that she and Rachel _weren't _with whom they should be right now, Cuddy didn't even _care_ anymore who was wrong or who was right. She just wanted to go home. She wanted her baby. And she wanted… she wanted _House_. Perhaps she could have survived the unexpected wave of homesickness if it wasn't that the next duet between April and Will just served to confirm she wasn't truly where she wanted to be, digging it in a little deeper with a sharp, pointed stick. By the next commercial break she was feeling weepy, _definitely_ PMSing and emotional because of it she told herself, that being her best option for something to blame it on. And though she _tried _to concentrate on the episode, when Quinn started talking to Mercedes about eating right for her baby, she lost it completely. She _wasn't_ where she was supposed to be. She needed to go home with Rachel to her baby and her man. And she needed to do it right now before anything else could conspire against her to keep her from them. There was nothing for it. She and Rachel were going home.

* * *

**_"One less bell to answer_**

**_One less egg to fry_**

**_One less man to pick up after_**

**_I should be happy_**

**_But all I do is cry (Cry, cry, no more laughter)_**

**_Oh, I should be happy (Oh, why did she go?)_**

**_I only know that since he left my life's so empty_**

**_Though I try to forget, it just can't be done_**

**_Each time the doorbell rings I still run_**

**_I don't know how in the world to stop thinking of him_**

**_(I should be happy)_**

**_'Cause I still love him so_**

**_I end each day the way I start out, crying my heart out (I start and end each day crying and)_**

**_One less bell to answer (One less egg to fry)_**

**_One less man (One less man) to pick up after_**

**_No more laughter, no more love_**

**_Since he went away (Since she went away)_**

**_Since he went away…._**

**_Ooh…_**

**_A chair is still a chair_**

**_Even when there's no one sitting there_**

**_Oh, I'm not meant to live alone_**

**_Turn this house into a home_**

**_When I climb the stair and turn the key_**

**_Oh, please be there_**

**_Still in love_**

**_With me (One less bell to answer)_**

**_Each time the doorbell rings, I still run (One less egg to fry)_**

**_One less man (One less man) to pick up after_**

**_No more (No more) laughter_**

**_No more love_**

**_Since he went away (Since she went away)_**

**_Since he went away_**

**_Ooh, all I do is cry"_**

* * *

Song: "One Less Bell To Answer/A House Is Not A Home" (Glee: Kristin Chenoweth & Matthew Morrison)


	101. Somewhere Only We Know

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Thanks for all the positive reviews and your congratulations on reaching 100 chapters! I think I was crazy to take on this endeavor but you guys are equally crazy for hanging in with me all this time! A quick thank you to Lucky08 for the song suggestion ages ago. PPTH is JUST around the corner! Things are really moving along now (at least, in my opinion)! And I actually have the next chapter ready to go, well, mostly. I have one part I think I want to add to. Maybe I'll post as soon as tomorrow, IF you guys are ready for a chapter even longer than the last one. :)__)_

* * *

It had been a quiet night for House, even Cookie Monster toning down his excitement at House coming home, not seeing Rachel with him. He'd fed Evie, making himself a quick sandwich, before washing the dishes, cleaning out the sink then to give Evie a bath, slightly grossed out by how accurate Cameron had been about the spaghetti noodles tangled up in Evie's curls, resisting all his efforts to remove them.

The house was too quiet. Evie had splashed about in the water, making sure that her daddy didn't walk away without also having to change his now wet clothes, blowing bubbles with her spit as she babbled and squealed. But even with the baby's contented, carefree disposition, the house _was _way too quiet for his liking. So he'd tried to remedy the situation with the radio and TV, but the increase of noise didn't change the obviousness that something was missing from the equation. S_omeone_, House corrected. Well, two someone's, he further amended.

His anger having now dissipated once again, perhaps in part because he'd solved his case after his exit from the daycare, he considered trying to call Cuddy but then decided to give her one more day. He'd told her to call when she was ready after all. If she didn't contact him by tomorrow he'd try again. He'd have no choice. This… couldn't go on indefinitely.

House readied Evie for bed, gave her a bottle, and then carried her into his bedroom with him after taking Cookie Monster outside, locking the garage door and shutting off the lights in the house. He wasn't so hopeful that Cuddy and Rachel would be home tonight as to leave the hallway light on, but at the same time he bypassed setting the alarm. Turning on the TV in his room, he adjusted the volume before settling Evie on his chest, one hand on her back as he flipped channels, looking for a distraction to pass the time until he was tired enough to fall sleep himself.

* * *

Cuddy quietly pushed open the door in the garage leading into the house after unlocking it, breathing a sigh of relief in just having the system beep at having a door open, rather than setting off the alarm. House hadn't set it which told her that he was at least anticipating the possibility that she _might_ come home. The house was dark but she assumed House had heard the alarm beep, if not the garage door opening to allow her to park inside. Setting down her and Rachel's things, she turned back to retrieve Rachel who was completely out, from the car where she'd left her for the time being in case the alarm _did _go off. Then she shut the door behind her before adjusting Rachel in her arms to carry her to her bedroom.

Cuddy stopped in the hallway, light spilling out from House's open doorway, and waited a moment, trying to decide what she should do. But then she was startled by his voice coming from behind her, apparently having gone through the kitchen to meet them and therein coming up behind her when she'd already passed by.

"I'll take her," he offered quietly, waiting as she slowly turned around to face him after jumping slightly.

Cuddy met his eyes, worrying her lip, but then nodded, surrendering Rachel to him as he took the last two steps separating them to ease Rachel from her arms, turning to climb the stairs with her a second later.

Cuddy watched him go uncertain about what to do now, but then she turned in the direction of Evie's room after she heard House enter Rachel's room upstairs, quietly easing the baby's door open a moment later to look in on her.

"She's in my room," House told her, having tucked Rachel away in her bed before coming back downstairs and up behind Cuddy after she'd approached the crib only to find it empty.

Turning to him, she searched his face in the semi-darkness of the room before moistening her lips. "House," she began hesitantly, launching into things. "I… I didn't mean what I said yesterday about Rachel being mine. I hope you know that. I was just…"

But House interrupted, offering, "Why don't you come hold Evie before I put her in her crib for the night?"

Cuddy's mouth pursed but then she nodded, slightly grateful herself for the temporary reprieve to the conversation that she could see in his eyes he was still anticipating, simply because she wasn't sure she _wanted _to hear him explain himself even as she knew that reality was she _needed_ that explanation. Following as he turned, she hesitated only briefly in his doorway before following him in, going around the bed to pick up Evie where she lay sound asleep, pausing to meet his eyes before allowing herself to sit on his bed, scootching back against the headboard as she adjusted Evie in her arms, her eyes lovingly caressing Evie as she sighed in her sleep and snuggled closer to her mommy.

Cuddy glanced at the TV that was still on but muted before her eyes flicked to House as he sat down on the bed beside her, and then again to Evie.

"I'm… glad you came home," House admitted in a rasp, meeting her gaze when she directed her attention back to him before he looked down.

Cuddy sighed, the tension she still felt within her easing slightly at his acknowledgment.

Keeping her eyes on him now, she bit her lip but then softly replied, "House, I… Could you explain to me why… what happened yesterday _happened?_"

House huffed out his own breath before lifting a hand to rub it over his face. "It has nothing to do with your parenting abilities, Cuddy," he mumbled, his mind rehearsing her diatribe from the day before in RE's parking lot. "I've told you before that I… don't have any problem with you in what happened with Rachel while you were… depressed."

"What does it have to do with then?" she prompted after a moment of silence in which she felt relief sweep over her only to have confusion set back in, her eyes on Evie, her free hand coming up to smooth back the baby's curls.

"This… has to do with me," he finally muttered.

Cuddy's head came up as her eyes shifted back to him and she waited wordlessly for him to continue.

House cleared his throat but then exhaled, pinching the bridge of his nose before quietly explaining, "You didn't want her, Cuddy. She was _ours_ and… from day one, you wanted nothing to do with any of it. You gave birth and pushed me out of your life, basically telling me to take her with me, except that you couldn't even acknowledge her _existence_. And I… dealt with that. But then six months passed and you wanted back in. The relationship you and I had once had, along with any trust I'd had in you, had been severed completely some time before. _You'd _severed it. But I… I let you back in all the same. Evie… needed you. She _does _need you, Cuddy. But… Cuddy, you can leave at any time you so choose. You can take Rachel and be outta here and there isn't one thing I can do about it."

"But House, I…" Cuddy finally found her voice enough to choke out.

House raised a hand to silence her, needing to get this out. "I lost my job, my team… I couldn't spend… _another day _in my apartment… All it held was… bad memories. And whatever I'd _imagined _we'd had, I lost that too. Everything that _mattered to me _was gone. And then they placed this baby in my arms and… Everything _centered_ _around her_ from that point forward."

House met Cuddy's eyes and swallowed hard before asserting, "I _know _you say you aren't going anywhere. But _you could. _There's nothing stopping you. And what makes it worse, if I put your name on her list and one day she's just _gone _because you're fed up with dealing with me and… my issues, but aren't about to lose her in the process_, _I don't care if my fear _is irrational, _I _will lose it. _There will be no coming back from that. I can't lose her. Not after everything I've gone through to have her and… _do right by her. _So I am sorry that I didn't tell you and you had to find out the way you did. I probably should have just told you. And I'm sorry that you felt like I'd humiliated you. But there was _never _going to be an easy way to tell you this, nor did I have any desire to. But, at the same time, I'm not sorry that your name isn't on her list Cuddy. Because… I only have control of so much but what I do have control over, I _need _to be in control of, at least until I can… trust you more. And I can't do that at the rate you want me to."

"Oh, House," Cuddy sighed, swallowing the block of emotion that had clogged her airway even as silent tears ran down her face, forcing her to wipe them away before they could fall on Evie and disturb her peaceful slumber. "I would _never _take her away from you and… I'm _not _going anywhere. I… couldn't leave if I wanted to."

"You didn't seem to have any problem leaving yesterday," he argued wryly, though he said it more to relieve his stress after being so transparent than for any other reason. He knew he'd never believed she'd be gone for long anyway, not with Evie here with him.

Cuddy exhaled heavily, her eyes shutting as her head fell back against the headboard. Blinking, she nodded, mumbling, "I messed up. I told myself I wasn't going to mess up but then… yesterday happened and I did. I was just…"

"Cuddy, you were mad and… I don't _care _that you went home," House dismissively replied, rolling his eyes. "I know what you're like when you're mad. It would have been nice if you wouldn't have _hung up _on me when I called you today, but…"

"You didn't _call me,_" Cuddy interrupted in disbelief, her head drawing back indignantly, her eyes narrowing.

House shook his head in confusion but then pointedly looked at her and countered, "_Yes, _I _did_. I called your cell phone right before lunchtime. You answered and allowed me to get as far as your name and then hung up. You didn't give me half a chance to say _anything._"

Cuddy shook her head in disagreement, trying to process and then she froze, understanding dawning on her. "I was in a meeting with Dr. Thomas when my cell phone started to vibrate. He was irritating me no end and I reached to silence it but… I must have hit the button to connect the call before I found the button to silence it. I… It _wasn't intentional_, House. I silenced it blindly. And when I glanced at it a minute later, it didn't say anything about a missed call. I just assumed I'd programmed an alarm and forgotten about it but then when my meeting ended I was too frustrated with Dr. Thomas and had too many other scheduled meetings on my mind to remember to check my phone further. I'm… sorry. I didn't mean to hang up on you. I was _waiting _for you to call. I… I _wanted _to come home. I just… wanted an apology first," she tritely concluded.

House rubbed a hand over his face again, accepting her explanation.

"Then I came to get Rachel after Ruth's call today and… you were pissed off at me," Cuddy picked back up, sighing wearily. "Which I kind of understand now, given what you thought, but at the time, it made me all the more angry, _and_ defensive, and…"

"You're here now," House mumbled dismissively, just wanting to forget about it.

Cuddy bit her lip but nodded. "Rachel will be happy to find herself here in the morning," she softly admitted then. "Last night was a disaster until you… dropped her things off… Thank you for doing that. And… I won't leave like that again, House. Everyone suffers when we're apart. Maybe we are an… _unconventional_ family right now but, we're still a _family_. I'd rather find someone to watch the girls so we can scream at one another and figure things out than… repeat the last thirty-six hours of trying to hold onto my pride."

House snorted, clearly not having any personal desire to have one more thing happen that would be cause for finding them screaming at one another, and pushed himself off the bed, coming around it to take Evie from her in order to lay her down in her crib.

"Wait!" Cuddy said before he could move away after taking Evie, pushing herself to her feet as well before stepping beside him, a hand on his arm, leaning in to kiss the sleeping baby goodnight.

He turned then, heading for Evie's room, and Cuddy followed him, reaching out to switch on the baby monitor before stepping to the closet to pick out clothes for the following morning while he placed Evie in her crib.

When he turned back to her, the look on his face conveying he was really hoping their conversation was at an end, Cuddy stepped up, sliding her arms around him as she placed her face against his chest, closing her eyes as she breathed him in for a moment, House just standing there in her embrace. She wasn't going to push him. Now that she understood, she could… accept that he just wasn't ready to place her on Evie's list. And she didn't see any point in logically arguing that she had no legal claim on Evie anyway. It was more important that he realize she wasn't going anywhere because she had no desire to and never would, than to provide even the slightest provocation for his distrusting and over-imaginative mind to come up with some… made for TV _scenario_ of her running off with the girls, generating some kind of police hunt to locate her in order to get Evie back to him.

"What made you come to RE yesterday, anyway?" House mumbled then, interrupting her thoughts.

Releasing him, she stepped back to meet his eyes before admitting with a sigh, "I thought maybe I could convince you to go out to dinner with me and the girls."

"Oh," he replied dumbly before adding, "Sorry I ruined your plans."

"It's okay," she reassured, managing a half-smile before suggesting, "Maybe tomorrow though?"

House nodded his agreement to the idea and then she bit her lip, reaching for his hand before leading him out of the room.

Turning to him once he'd shut the door, not having pulled away from her contact, she murmured, "Night House. I hope you… sleep well."

"Night Cuddy," he replied, releasing her hand before watching her turn to head upstairs, glancing back at him halfway up.

Exhaling a heavy breath once she was out of sight, House turned to set the house alarm before he went back to his room, finally tired enough to sleep and more than a little relieved that he'd actually been able to say what he needed to without losing his nerve.

* * *

June 25th, 2011

"Daddy!" Rachel cried happily as she ran into the kitchen the next morning, throwing herself at his legs, still in her pajamas, her hair a war zone.

Cuddy came into the room behind her, looking harried but smiling nevertheless. "She wouldn't even stop to go to the bathroom or let me change her clothes first."

House hefted Rachel up in his arms, a lopsided smile on his lips. "Morning Rachel," he greeted her wryly.

"Me _not _going back to the other house," she told him firmly, her brow gathering as her mouth set in a stubborn line.

House raised an eyebrow at her declaration but Cuddy spoke before he could. "No. You're staying right here. Mommy is too," she reassured.

Cookie Monster ran into the room right then, tripping over himself in his haste, barking excitedly.

"_Cookie Monster!_" Rachel shrilly shouted in House's ear, kicking now to be put down, scooping the puppy into her when House quickly released her to protect himself from injury resulting from flailing toddler limbs. "_We's not EVER going away again,_" Rachel told the puppy, cupping his face despite how the puppy yanked his head to try and get free to lick her face and hands. "_Not ever,_" she reinforced.

House and Cuddy both looked pained by Rachel's declarations and more so by the fact that she felt them necessary. Neither one of them looked at the other though, personal remorse filling them.

"Ba ba ba ba ba," Evie started chorusing, banging her spoon against her tray and getting their attention. Her eyes were fixed on Rachel though and she rocked excitedly back and forth in her highchair once Rachel's eyes were on her, blowing spit bubbles rather enthusiastically.

Rachel giggled, standing up to troop over to Evie's highchair with Cookie Monster tailing her, before reaching up to touch Evie's feet, patting her happily.

"Hi Ebie!" Rachel contentedly declared, peering over the rim of the highchair at her little sister. Turning her head, she looked at Cuddy and said, "Me wants some Cheerios too, mommy."

"Okay, Rachel," Cuddy agreed, deciding getting her dressed could wait. "Come climb in your booster seat and then I'll get you some Cheerios too."

Rachel ran to her, arms up to be lifted into her seat, and then waited while her mommy buckled her in before giggling at Cookie Monster who had plopped down next to her chair, whining, his tail wagging.

"Don't feed him your Cheerios," House sternly told her to pre-empt her doing so.

Rachel smiled brightly but nodded, turning her head then to watch her mommy carry a bowl of Cheerios over to her, adding a little milk once she'd set the bowl on her tray.

"Hungry?" House then asked Cuddy, glancing her way as she pressed a kiss to Evie's head, smoothing her hair before heading for the coffeepot.

"Not just yet," she answered. "I was hoping to go for a run, if you don't mind."

"Go for it," he replied. "I can get Rachel ready when we're through with breakfast."

"Thanks House," Cuddy said sweetly, giving him a grateful smile. "I'll be back in a half hour."

House nodded but then went back to work on his breakfast, turning on a burner to scramble up some eggs.

Cuddy went to each of the girls and pressed kisses to their cheeks before running back upstairs to change into her jogging gear, ready to pound the pavement, yesterday behind her but Friday now seeming all too near.

* * *

Cuddy jogged back up her driveway just as Wilson parked in Erika's. Coming to a stop, she bent down to pant for a second before glancing at the house, worrying her lip before turning in Wilson's direction as he climbed out of the car.

Wiping sweat from her face, she smoothed back the curling tendrils that had come free from the ponytail she'd put her hair up into before smiling when his eyes fell on her.

"Hey Wilson," she greeted, heading his way.

"Hey Cuddy," he returned before needlessly inquiring, "Out running?"

She nodded but then sobered and asked, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Wilson's eyebrows rose at the question but he nodded mutely, taking a few steps in her direction, coming around his car to meet up with her.

"I just…" she began hesitantly, moistening her lips before pushing forward into her explanation of why she'd asked to speak with him. "This next Friday is the date for our 2nd Quarter Board Meeting."

"I know. We met yesterday to go over Oncology's budget report," he reminded dryly, confused by why she felt she had to remind him.

Cuddy laughed lightly at his confusion but shook her head before turning serious once more. Dropping her gaze, she stared at the grass beneath her feet before establishing eye contact again. "No, I know you know. I wasn't trying to remind you. I… I just wanted to ask you… Well…"

"Just ask me," Wilson prompted wryly, not understanding why she was struggling so just to ask him something related to a board meeting.

Cuddy expelled her breath but then tipped her head to the side before worrying her lip. Finally she drew in a breath and said, "I don't want to put you in an uncomfortable position by asking for favors but… I'm going to come forward and tell the Board about Evie before the board meeting gets underway and I… I just wondered if… Well, I'm going to need a friend there, Wilson. I wish I didn't but… I will. And so if you can't be there for me, I can accept that but, I was just hoping…"

"What does House have to say about this?" Wilson interrupted when he'd finally found his tongue, his expression somber and yet slightly concerned.

Cuddy's eyes widened and she shook her head dramatically. "He doesn't know and you can't tell him, Wilson. _Please. _I don't want him to know. This… this is _my mess_ and I need to deal with it on my own, not drag him into it too. That wouldn't be fair."

Wilson studied her but then nodded slowly, thinking perhaps it really would be better for House to find out _after _the fact.

Cuddy paused then, her expression slightly anxious, and it took him a minute to realize she was waiting for his response to her question.

Continuing to study her, he frowned but nodded curtly. "I'll be there to support you," he agreed readily then.

"I'm not asking you to _do anything,_" she quickly added, not wanting him to misunderstand, having already sacrificed enough of her pride in asking this much of him.

"I'll be there," he just repeated.

"Thanks, Wilson," she said softly before looking away.

"Are you coming over today?" she asked when she'd finally gotten control of her emotions.

"I don't think so," Wilson said after thinking about it for a minute, glancing up at the house. "After that announcement it's probably best if I avoid House for a few days, until I have had time to… process and can do a better job at masking this from him."

"Sorry," she murmured then. "Perhaps I should have waited to tell you until Monday at work."

"No, it's fine Cuddy," he replied with a shrug. "But… why now?" he couldn't help asking.

"It's long overdue and… the sooner it's done, the better," Cuddy concluded, adding with a feigned cheerful tone, "No time like the present, right?"

"I'm sorry," Wilson said then, shuffling awkwardly where he stood. And she could tell he _meant it_. "I hope things work out for you with the Board."

"Thanks," she murmured. "I should probably get inside. I told House I'd only be a half hour."

"Okay," he replied, nodding. "I guess I'll… see you at work on Monday."

"Okay," Cuddy agreed, softly adding a, "Bye Wilson," before turning to walk towards the house.

He watched her go, one hand on his waist, deep in thought over what Friday might look like. He hadn't expected to feel like this when this day came. He hadn't expected to… sympathize with her over how rough this would be. Turning to walk up the path leading to Erika's door, he huffed out a breath, rifling a hand through his hair. This was going to be a long week. And Monday wasn't even here yet.

* * *

Cuddy came downstairs from showering to find House on the phone. Covering the mouthpiece, he said, "Erika needs to reschedule our dinner plans for this week. Thursday work for you?"

Cuddy had no reaction whatsoever _until _he mentioned Thursday night. Then she froze, her eyes momentarily widening. Thursday would be a _terrible _night for a get-together.

House raised an eyebrow questioningly before asking, "What's wrong with Thursday?"

Cuddy bit her lip in response, her brain working fast. It would be easy to tell him she had the board meeting on Friday and needed that evening to prepare for it, but maybe it was best that he not know anything of a board meeting at all. And maybe Thursday was actually a _great_ choice as House would have other distractions and wouldn't be paying _her _so much attention as he would if it was just them at home with the girls. Moistening her lips she tried her best to erase any hints of distress before calmly replying, "No. Thursday's fine. I thought maybe I'd end up staying late to get as much done as I could since I won't be in either Monday or Tuesday of next week, but… honestly, I've been doing pretty well at keeping up with things. Thursday shouldn't be a problem. If need be, I'll stay late on Friday. I might be stuck there anyway due to a meeting I have scheduled."

House searched her expression, frowning. "Are you sure?" he asked doubtfully.

Putting the most reassuring smile she could drudge up upon her lips, she nodded. "Dinner Thursday sounds great."

"Okay," House replied with a shrug, removing his hand from the phone to confirm with Erika. "Thursday's fine," he said then.

Cuddy turned away, sighing softly before rubbing a hand over her face. She hoped she was a better actress come Thursday night. She would have a whole lot more to try and obscure from House's acute awareness by then, emotions running high. Maybe… maybe Wilson and Erika would keep him distracted though. Maybe dinner Thursday _wasn't _such a bad idea. _Maybe_.

* * *

June 28th, 2011

Oddly enough, Cuddy's weekend and the beginning of the week with it began to fly by, even as dread settled in, deep in the pit of her stomach. She'd just come back to her office Tuesday after forcing herself to run by the cafeteria for a salad when there was a knock at the door and she looked up to see Thomas Patterson, one of her board members, entering.

"Do you have a moment?" he asked, pausing in the doorway. "I was hoping to run by you some ideas that occurred to me this last week for increased funding for the clinic."

Cuddy bit her lip, glancing at her calendar before her, but she did have some time so that worked out perfectly. And she had to admit that Thomas was one of the few people who actually came up with decent ideas and a _plan _for just how to best carry them out.

"Sure," she agreed with a nod. "I have… forty-five minutes. Will that be enough?"

"Twenty minutes should be all I need for now. I just want to run them by you quick before I bring them up during the board meeting Friday," he replied.

Cuddy nodded, though her stomach clenched at the reminder, making her grimace a second later.

"Are you okay?" he asked, frowning as he studied her, hesitating now to sit down across from her after shutting the door behind him.

"I'm fine," she said dismissively, motioning to the seat. "Tell me what you're thinking."

Thomas launched into his first idea but interrupted himself mid-sentence ten minutes later with a raised eyebrow as he said, "You're distracted."

"I'm sorry," Cuddy apologized, looking away uneasily. "Repeat the last part of what you just said one more time."

But Thomas leaned forward in his chair, his hands coming up so that his thumbs were under his chin, his forefingers against his mouth as he scrutinized her further, the rest of his fingers interlaced. Lifting his head a minute later so that his forefingers fell back to prop up his jaw, he said, "Tell me what's bothering you."

If it had been _anyone else_, Cuddy would have quickly redirected the conversation. Though had it been any other board member before her, they would never have picked up on her distracted state as Thomas had, him being naturally astute. Weighing her options, she sighed and then used a hand to push her hair back out of her face, tucking it behind an ear. She glanced down but moistened her lips before deciding out of anyone other than Wilson who she could turn to, Thomas was the best. He always backed her. She'd never yet found him against her in anything. While he sometimes managed to persuade her to look at something from another angle or tweak an idea she had, usually doing it in such a diplomatic manner that she couldn't help but want to give him a chance to change her mind, he was not one to be reactive, or judgmental, and instead went about everything he did thoughtfully and perceptively. If he could already see through her, it might be worthwhile to… entrust him with her secrets and see if he had any ideas for how she could better handle this situation hanging over her head.

Meeting his eyes she managed to wryly say, "I've… made a mess of things. This week when the board meeting comes to order, I… have to confess something that happened last fall. I'm not so sure I'll still have a job when I'm finished speaking."

Thomas watched her, his eyebrows rising only incrementally in response. "Why don't you go ahead and tell me about it?" he suggested. "Nothing you say will leave this room. And… maybe I'll prove useful to you. Who knows?"

"But you haven't finished telling me about your ideas and what I _did hear _sounds very worthwhile," she responded apologetically, clearly also struggling with the thought of telling him her problems.

"I can always make an appointment with you for tomorrow or Thursday," he countered dismissively. "Dropping by today was a spur of the moment decision. I wasn't even sure you'd be available."

"Are you sure?" she double-checked doubtfully.

He gave her a smile and a nod of encouragement, falling silent and waiting for her.

Cuddy sighed but then slowly related her sordid ordeal, not going into detail when it wasn't necessary but generally giving a rundown of what had happened the December before last, how she'd found out she was pregnant, the tension it generated between her and House, the decisions she'd made right up through her return to PPTH after her maternity leave. Thomas heard her out, his face not really revealing any of his thoughts to her, which generally made it easier although sometimes she found her words falling away, most often when she couldn't help but suspect he must be internally questioning exactly who they'd hired as Dean of Medicine and Chief Administrator all those years ago or when the tears were right there below the surface leaving her choking on her own emotion. However, whatever Thomas was thinking he did not voice it, waiting until she came to an end before his eyes even left her face, going to the ceiling as he pensively contemplated what he'd been told.

Cuddy sighed heavily, not yet able to feel any relief in having told someone else outside of those who had been present to know what was going on, and Kate.

Thomas met her eyes once again, his mouth pursing to the side for a moment before he released his own breath to respond. "For the most part, what you've just shared is your own personal business. Generally speaking, what you do outside of the hospital is no one else's business, so long as it doesn't hinder you from doing your job or put the hospital in a bad light. The problem lies in the fact that your situation spilled into the workplace. That's going to be your main area of difficulty once the Board is informed, since that is what they can legitimately take issue with. You know yourself how donations have been down since Dr. House left. That comes as no surprise to you but it _does_ complicate things further. You're giving them evidence that his absence is tied to you. As for lying about the child you share, that's a harder one. Because it isn't just an issue of telling them, but of taking it beyond just the Board and everyone then knowing you lied, which is in some ways, an argument of character. Honestly, Dr. Cuddy, what you wish to do is honorable. Part of me thinks it would be better to wait a few years at this point so that you have years worth of evidence covering the in-between time, to give them further reason to just overlook the past, the job you've done since testifying to your abilities and lessening any doubts they have because by then, it would be ancient history anyway. But… I understand at the same time that you don't see it as an option and are willing to pay the costs to right the wrongs you've done to the people you clearly love _very much_. I wish I could tell you what Friday will bring but _I _don't even want to risk being proven right or wrong. I can only tell you I appreciate your honesty, I have a lot of faith in your ability to do your job with excellence, and I would be very sad to have you go," he concluded seriously.

Cuddy sucked in a deep breath and then rubbed her face with her hands, nodding as she did so. "I appreciate that, Tom," she managed to say, giving him a grateful half-smile for his honesty and willingness to hear her out, but… also spare her the details of just how horribly bad this _could _go, knowing she didn't need to hear it from him to be aware of that.

Tipping his head to the side, he thoughtfully suggested then, "But it _wouldn't _be such a bad idea to be ready with some genuine job offers in hand, just in case. That way if they seem to lean towards keeping you on, that'll serve as a further push in that direction. And if not, no harm done in bringing them with you."

Cuddy gave him a doubtful look and murmured, "Yes, but I'm not sure any of the job offers I've received would hold once things came out."

"It doesn't matter," he replied with a shake of his head. "At this point, it just matters that you have them."

She paused, thinking, but nodded slowly.

"Would you happen to have time in your schedule to meet with me tomorrow?" he asked then, therein releasing her from the conversation. "Perhaps in the morning?"

Cuddy checked her schedule but nodded. "Would 9:15 work for you? That's the only time I have available to me. Unless I jostle some things around which… _would _be possible."

"No, 9:15 works great," he said, getting to his feet. "I appreciate your time."

Cuddy scoffed at the irony of that but got to her feet as well to walk him out. "No, I appreciate _your time. _And… thank you for listening. No matter what happens Friday, I… really appreciate that."

"You're welcome, Dr. Cuddy. If there's anything I can do, you can trust I'll do it. Despite what you shared today, I've been overall pleased with your performance. I wouldn't want to lose you. You're too much of an asset to this hospital and besides, changing leadership is generally speaking, too much hassle, especially if you've already found the right person for the job," he finished, reaching for the doorknob to pull it open.

Cuddy watched him go before shutting the door behind him, leaning back against it before wearily closing her eyes. She wished all of her board members were as agreeable as Thomas Patterson. Unfortunately, especially for her right now, that was not the case.

* * *

June 29th, 2011

Cuddy sat in her therapy session with Kate, the two of them going over what she intended to share with the Board come Friday. They'd spent most of last week's session discussing this very thing but this time was slightly different in that they were almost doing a dry run, Kate having volunteered to play the role of board member, not because reactions could really be predicted but more because Cuddy felt uneasy and hoped that if she hadn't thought of an objection that might be made, Kate might, given that Kate knew even more than the Board would be told.

Finally determining that Cuddy needed a respite from thinking about Friday, Kate asked, "How are things with House?"

"_Much _better than two weeks ago," Cuddy wryly admitted. "Last week had more than its share of rough spots but by Saturday, things were great again. We went out to dinner with the girls; drove out to the Macaroni Grill in Edison. It was really nice. It made me feel like we were… a _normal_ family."

"Tell me about the 'rough spots'," Kate prompted when Cuddy came back from her memory of Saturday night.

The smile fell off her face then and she closed her eyes, her expression pained. "I left work a little early last Thursday to drive out to Riverside East. I thought I'd surprise House and pick up the girls, inviting him out for dinner. But when I walked into the daycare, the director stopped me before I could go into the infant room to get Evie. House… doesn't have me on her list of people who can pick her up. I thought maybe it was a mistake but… it was deliberate. He doesn't _want_ me to pick her up. Things… quickly went downhill from there."

"That must have been extremely painful for you," Kate acknowledged.

"Yeah," Cuddy replied with a sigh, looking away as she relived that moment.

"Why doesn't he want you to pick Evie up?" Kate asked gently after giving Cuddy time to draw her thoughts back together.

Cuddy explained what House had told her later on before doubling back and accounting for the rest of Thursday and Friday. When she came to an end, Kate said, "I can certainly see why that would classify as a 'rough spot.' It sounds like it made for a terribly difficult two days for all of you."

Cuddy nodded in agreement with her assessment. "And it was most unfair to Rachel. Evie… managed alright but Rachel… Yeah, we have to stop fighting when she's around and in general, find a way to work things out; to… communicate."

"You've both made strides in that direction though," Kate affirmed, wanting to encourage her. "And it seems like you are both aware of how high a cost these conflicts between you come with. Hopefully things will continue to be cleared up between you. I think that visit his mom made after you and Rachel had already moved in, was a crucial turning point for you. It was the first time you two were truly honest about the past. And even though there were a lot of subjects that didn't get resolved or even out in the open just then, you've covered a lot of ground since."

Cuddy couldn't disagree with that.

"How do you feel about his reasoning for not wanting you on Evie's list?" Kate inquired, returning to the previous subject.

Cuddy expelled her breath, her eyes shutting as she shook her head helplessly. Raising an eyebrow when she did reestablish eye contact, she dryly remarked, "Well it's not like there's any real basis for his fears… I'm not _going anywhere. _But… even if that's true, he has plenty of reason to think I might, given our history. Not that I'd take Evie, obviously. I mean, he has parental rights and I… don't." Sobering further, she frowned but then looked away to compose herself before muttering, "I get it. I just don't like it. Still, I'm willing to deal with that for now. Sooner or later I… hope he'll regain confidence in me. Frankly, the both of us went so long without any faith in our ability to have a real relationship, running from it, and then… everything was sort of… _smashed to smithereens _in the fallout that… it makes sense that he'd protect what matters most to him by pushing me away. Instead of doing that, at least, _completely, _he's… just got rules and regulations for where he can allow me to tread and… what subjects are still a minefield, waiting to blow up in my face if I push too far. It's… _annoying_," she determined, trying to choose the best word to describe what it was. "But for now, it works. I just hope I don't have to step on many more mines before they're disarmed by one of us. Perhaps it's still just a matter of time. It's not like I'm anywhere near ready to give up. It's not even a possibility. Things are changing for us, _slowly at times_, but they are. And he's taking more… risks than I dared to hope he would before I asked to be a part of Evie's life again."

"He's still unaware of your plans for this Friday?" Kate asked, checking to be sure.

"He doesn't know," Cuddy answered. "I spoke with Wilson Saturday morning and then Thomas Patterson on Tuesday, as I told you earlier, but House… doesn't know anything. I'm hoping he won't until after it's over and done with."

Kate nodded, having already known this and Cuddy's reasons for it. "How do you think he'll react once he does know, Lisa?"

"I'm not sure," she admitted. "I've tried to guess how he'll respond but… there's no real way of knowing. It would make sense if he doesn't even want to discuss it, not so much if it ends up costing me my job. Then there will be no choice but for us to talk about it. But as for what happened, what I told people regarding Evie, I'm not so sure that will be on his list of topics we can speak of. Maybe it will ease his feelings regarding that, in my telling people the truth. Maybe it will move us closer to talking about it. But maybe he will think that's why I did it, and that's not going to go over well. At the same time, I kind of think he'll think I'm an idiot for getting myself in this situation in the first place, upon being reminded of what I did. And then again… maybe it will end up being a step forward for us, even if… the consequences career-wise prove disastrous. In any case, I'll just be glad to have it… behind me."

"I am glad that you have a couple people who will be there to support you this Friday; people who are more or less on your side," Kate admitted.

Cuddy nodded her agreement, adding, "And Wilson… well, even as protective as he is regarding House, he's proved to be extremely thoughtful this week, checking in on me, bringing me coffee at times, even asking if there's anything he can do to help me. His concern is… really appreciated. I feel like there's significant evidence now that we've turned a corner, even though I know things have been mostly fine between us for a number of weeks."

"If you decide you'd like to meet with me this Friday after the board meeting, I'm already planning on being around late, just in case. Even this weekend, if you need to schedule an appointment I can fit it in," Kate volunteered.

"Maybe Friday if… things go poorly. But I kind of think I'm just going to want to be home with the girls this weekend, after all this is done," Cuddy said honestly.

Kate nodded. "If the Board needs anything from me to indicate that you're capable of doing your job or that you've recovered from this, know that I'm ready and willing."

"Thank you. I appreciate that," Cuddy responded gratefully, glancing at her watch to check the time.

Kate noted her nervous gesture, knowing that she had a lot of things on her list to accomplish yet. "We'll plan to meet next week but you can feel free to call me Friday if you want to change your appointment or add in an extra one."

"Alright, thank you," Cuddy said, getting to her feet to get back to her desk, way too many things still waiting to be done before she could call it a day.

Kate watched her go thoughtfully, thinking about all the progress Lisa Cuddy had made since she'd first come to see her. It really was remarkable, she had to admit. A complicated situation that only became more and more complex with time and each bad decision made while in the midst of a severe depression… Lisa Cuddy _had _come a long way. Each of her patients was important to her. She wanted to help all of them. But some patients she couldn't help rooting for with all that was within her. Right now, that was exactly how she felt about Lisa Cuddy. Somehow, despite everything she'd heard and all the ways in which things could still blow up, Kate was certain of one thing. Lisa Cuddy would turn this situation around for herself. And she'd be a better person for going through the fire than she ever would have been had she safely escaped the flames.

* * *

House had come home from his appointment with Nolan looking exhausted and so she'd barely talked to him except to help him with Evie, changing her into a clean diaper and pajamas before laying her in the crib. Rachel had been in bed for an hour already by that time, which had worked great for Cuddy as she'd brought plenty of work home with her and still had several things she needed to finish up before going to sleep. When House said good night and stumbled off in the direction of his bedroom after setting the alarm, she'd smiled softly and then made herself a cup of tea before taking it upstairs with her.

She did manage to finish all the items on her agenda that she'd brought home with her, _before _she allowed her attention to wander, her eyes falling on the family photo of the four of them that she kept on her nightstand. Lifting it up before settling back against the headboard, she gave in to her desire to reflect a little. Her mind went back to right after she'd shown up on House's doorstep and the days in which she'd hung upon whatever decision House would make; everything depending on whether or not he'd call and allow her into Evie's life and his as well.

She hadn't known the half of what she had weighing against her. And now looking back she could appreciate his decision to let her into his and Evie's world and how very hard that must have been for him to do, all the more. There was still a lot of push and pull, gains that seemed to be just as easily lost, but… there was no denying that overall, they'd moved forward in the last couple months and nothing had really set them back so much that they hadn't quickly moved forward again. She only hoped reminding House this week of how she'd denied Evie's existence wouldn't be that setback that… served to remind him of all the reasons why trusting her was a bad idea. He was… _understandably _sensitive to how she'd walked away from Evie without a backwards glance. It was intertwined she was certain with why anything related to Lucas was a forbidden subject. But perhaps with this _behind them, _they'd be able to take steps in that direction _towards_… talking about Lucas so that too could be surpassed.

She just… hoped any respect he had for her wouldn't dissipate along with the respect of everyone at PPTH, come Friday, the potential of her losing her career right there overshadowing her. Somehow she felt House had always been secretly proud of her success. But she wasn't so certain that pride wouldn't go out the window when she started working at _McDonalds_. That was a bit of a stretch, she imagined, but… She really wasn't sure what she'd do if she lost everything she'd worked so hard for while at PPTH.

Everything was so complicated now; all these barriers between her and House, her job at stake, her future uncertain, suddenly finding herself on a path that she wasn't sure about, not knowing where it would lead. Cuddy wanted to believe that House would think more of her after this was done. But there was no guarantee that that was even a remote possibility. She wished they were back in Michigan when everything had been so simple. At least, _before _he'd disappeared from her life. She just suddenly felt too old to begin again. She hoped she wouldn't have to. She hoped if she had no choice… House would be with her for it. She didn't want to walk this path alone.

* * *

_**"I walked across an empty land  
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand  
I felt the earth beneath my feet  
Sat by the river and it made me complete  
Oh simple thing where have you gone?  
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on  
So tell me when you're gonna let me in  
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin**_

**_I came across a fallen tree_**  
**_I felt the branches of it looking at me_**  
**_Is this the place we used to love?_**  
**_Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?_**

**_Oh simple thing where have you gone?_**  
**_I'm getting old and I need something to rely on_**  
**_So tell me when you're gonna let me in_**  
**_I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_**

**_So if you have a minute why don't we go_**  
**_Talk about it somewhere only we know?_**  
**_This could be the end of everything_**  
**_So why don't we go_**  
**_Somewhere only we know?_**

**_Oh simple thing where have you gone?_**  
**_I'm getting old and I need something to rely on_**  
**_So tell me when you're gonna let me in_**  
**_I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_**

**_So if you have a minute why don't we go_**  
**_Talk about it somewhere only we know?_**  
**_This could be the end of everything_**  
**_So why don't we go?_**  
**_So why don't we go?_**

**_This could be the end of everything_**  
**_So why don't we go_**  
**_Somewhere only we know?"_**

* * *

Song: "Somewhere Only We Know" (Keane)


	102. Halo

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Welcome to tomorrow in my time zone and the longest chapter I think I've ever written in this story. :) Anybody ready for some twists? :) I have to tell you, I am SO psyched about this chapter! And I might be the only one who walks away from it genuinely pleased, but I kinda think it's a masterpiece and I also kinda hope you just (figuratively, of course) DIE while reading it! I think it's that good. Sorry. I don't mean to be proud. I just… considering the length, I can't help but hope it is good enough to deserve being proud of. __Please, please, please review! Unless you hate it. Then please, please, please abstain from crushing my hopes until AFTER the story in its entirety comes to an end. At that point you won't hurt the chance of future chapters. :)_

_And I think I'll dedicate this one to Damned If You Do 09 just because she's encouraged me more than anyone along this journey of insane proportions, makes me insanely happy with her insight and understandings, and is so very rarely wrong in the conclusions she comes to/guesses she makes, ALTHOUGH saying that, it has happened, :) say... like now? :) Anyway, t__hanks for being you, DIYD09! Can't imagine a secret fanfiction life without you!)_

* * *

June 30th, 2011

Dinner Thursday night turned out to _not_ be such a good idea. But Cuddy did not even notice, Friday weighing heavily upon her by this point. No. She was hardly aware of _anything, _assuming things were going well, the kids happily chattering away like baby birds, House and Erika deep in conversation. No. She didn't notice anything amiss. But someone else did.

_Something was going on_. House didn't know _what_ but he knew _something was_ and as time passed he began to feel more and more tense and edgy, thinly veiled tetchiness just under the surface. It hadn't started out that way. Things had been fine, normal even, before and when they'd come over. But then there were just… weird moments starting right from when Wilson and Cuddy greeted each other, not immediately drawing his attention, he _did _have plenty to distract him with, but… eventually something just… wasn't quite right and by the time he'd given himself permission to think he wasn't just being a little bit crazy, they were all sitting down at the table.

It only got worse. Throughout supper both Wilson _and _Cuddy remained silent, for the majority of the time anyway, leaving House and Erika to carry the whole conversation, only speaking when they were spoken to as if he and Erika were the parents, this was the 1950's, and that was _the_ house rule, notto be broken at _any_ cost. House at first thought perhaps they'd had a fight or something that Cuddy hadn't wanted to mention to him earlier, and depending on what the fight had been about, there were probably _hundreds _of reasons why she didn't want to share that information with him. He'd kind of figured he'd just drag it out of her later when they got home and… deal with it then. Wilson could be… a bit suffocating at times, extremely… _protective _of him still, and since their row had probably centered round him in one way or another, he figured he'd work out what it was and go from there. But in truth, by the time they were all eating dessert, he would have actually _liked _to think something had happened between the two to put them at odds with one another, explaining the situation he felt he was stuck in the midst of, for then it would hardly have been news and quite possibly it would pass without any interference from him at all. But the strange, nerve-wracking thing was, all signs pointed to that _not_ being the case, as illustrated by the fact that the "_children"_ kept shooting furtive glances at one another. Well, that wasn't quite accurate. Mainly it was one-sided with Wilson looking at Cuddy, but… these furtive glances were not hostile or even impartial and detached. No. They reflected a mixture of sympathy, compassion, and _concern_. And what was worse, it was an expression _House_ had been on the receiving end of too many times to count. In fact, just seeing it was enough to uncomfortably remember that long drive to Mayfield, his impending committal before him like the shadows of a cloaked figure and the guillotine's blade on the ground immediately in front of someone sentenced to die, head locked in a couple feet off the ground.

By the time Erika had gotten up to remove the dessert plates from the table, Cuddy suddenly jolting out of her trance, House wanted to stand up and demand an explanation of just what was going on unbeknownst to him, simply because that was better than more angst and drama in his life and every minute that ticked by had him searching deeper within his extensive psyche to narrow down what was up. But he also genuinely _wanted _to believe he was overreacting. And yet… something _was _going on and the fact that no one had _already _told him actually made him even more hesitant about discovering what the big secret was. Wilson didn't keep secrets regarding Cuddy except to protect House or to protect Cuddy _from _House. And he hadn't had secrets to keep in a _very _long time that House knew of. House wasn't just reluctant to ask. He was downright _agitated_ by his apprehension that it was something that was going to affect the precarious balance he'd achieved in his world, which had been threatened enough already between Cuddy's appearance in his shower and her finding out about not being on Evie's pick-up list. Despite maintaining the flow of conversation while they'd still been at the table, his mind had been racing 90 miles a minute like a missile from a nuclear submarine seeking and searching through everything that had happened recently for an explanation of what was going on in the undercurrents of Erika's dinner table, shortly to be detonated, his single hope that he'd obliterate the enemy's arsenal first.

Having three kids at the table should have helped cover for the underlying, undefined emotion floating like a poisonous mist about the table, at least of _someone's _distractionfrom general conversation and the "silence" that House alone appeared to find _deafening_; Evie was babbling excitedly, Trevor was incessantly telling Erika about an upcoming fieldtrip with his class from the summer daycare program she had him in, and Rachel was interrupting fifteen times every few minutes to tell her mommy, who was apparently only half-listening to her, all about her day at daycare and how some kid named Matt had peed in the corner because there was already a toddler in the bathroom and he couldn't hold it any longer, while Sarah snuck a scissor and cut her bangs completely off where she was hiding under a table, the teachers otherwise occupied at the time by a third toddler, Liam, who had stuck a green bean up his nose and lodged it up there so well that they'd had to call three different someone's to come in and fish it out before _one_ was successful at pulling it out in its entirety. House was able to somehow piece together all of Rachel's broken sentences and understand exactly what she was talking about, could repeat verbatim every detail of Trevor's future fieldtrip in case Erika developed a sudden case of significant short-term memory impairment, needing reminding four hundred times a day until the fieldtrip came to pass, AND somehow still knew _exactly _how many times Evie had chorused out "dada, mama, baba" (the last of which he and Cuddy had figured out this weekend was what she had decided to call Rachel, or _anything else _she wanted) in the last two minutes and thirty seconds (13 times in this exact order, 18 in different variations). He somehow had his mind divided enough to focus energy on the details surrounding all three children PLUS listen and interject his thoughts on Erika's "patient of the week" who at twelve, was so infuriated by being teased about her braces at school that she hid out in the bathroom and used a fork stolen from the cafeteria to pry one end off her teeth, out of the brackets, and impale her cheek with the loose wire that penetrated it when her violent jerking on the fork at last freed the wire from its confinement. And yet despite all that his mind was occupied with, House was surreptitiously aware of Wilson's harried glances, Cuddy's troubled distraction, and worst of all, which to him was the _greatest _betrayal of the three, since it was from one who'd never betrayed him yet, Erika's absolute and all-encompassing awareness of whatever it was going on and subsequent fierce determination to mask the situation they were in as best she could through engaging him so thoroughly in conversation as to blind him to the obscured truth of something _Cuddy_ was_ clearly _at the center of, something that they didn't want House to uncover, something that… as much as they were trying to shroud, could _only _impact him in some way, shape, or form as of a yet undeterminable nature. Clearly his system had shifted into some kind of hyper-drive, taking apart and rearming every gigabit of information before compartmentalizing what made sense and what didn't. House _knew _the world didn't revolve around him. He got that. Most of the time anyway. But the fact that all three were covering up for something told him he was more than justified in his suspicion. And the fact that Cuddy was so far gone as to not notice she was acting strange and risking his suspicion in the process, made him think it could _only _be that much more serious. Wilson of course had always been far less capable of deceiving him.

House sat and he simmered and he stewed. And he steadfastly resolved to know what was going on. _Before_ the night was over and while there was yet a possibility remaining to him of resolving whatever it was, potentially keeping it from blowing up in his face on the morrow, assuming he had even _that long_.

* * *

James hadn't been gone five minutes when _the_ _knock _sounded at her backdoor. She was tempted to disregard it, tempted to suddenly develop acute deafness, tempted to delude herself into believing he would go away if she pretended he wasn't there waiting. But House was not someone easily ignored. Like with the wizard of Oz, no matter how much someone told you to "pay no attention to the man behind the curtain," with the curtain _open,_ it was not only impossible to pretend there was no one there, but you were undeniably _going _to stare when you had reason to.

House also had a key to her home. She didn't see the point in forcing him to use it in order to buy herself a couple minutes for a story she wouldn't concoct. She'd personally doubted this moment was avoidable since James had confided in her the night before, making her regret inviting them for dinner at all, but James had thought they could handle a simple dinner without problem. Clearly he'd been wrong. The proof of this was still knocking forcefully on her backdoor.

Erika sighed, checked to be sure Trevor was upstairs, and then walked to the backdoor, meeting his gaze through the window as he somberly watched her approach. Flipping the lock, she turned the knob and waved him in.

"Care to dig up that shrub I hate and use it as a battering ram? I expected you three minutes ago," she then acknowledged honestly, walking around him to take a seat on his highly-favored futon which… was technically _hers_, before sarcastically adding, "Your patience is truly admirable."

She patted the seat beside her invitingly, waiting for him to close the door and sink into the cushion alongside her. "Before you ask what you've come to ask," she couldn't help inquiring, "On a scale of 1 to 10, just how furious _are _you with me?"

He paused for a moment, genuinely giving her question some thought, and then replied quite seriously, having cooled down dramatically due to her choice of greetings, "I was at a 9 before you opened the door. Now I'm at a 2."

"Hmm," she murmured as her chin puckered, her mouth pursing. "I'm better off than I expected to be. I suppose I can tell Trevor to take his finger off the speed-dial since it appears he can hold off on calling the cops to save me from the wrath of a madman."

"I'd reserve judgment on making such a determination as to your safety if I were you," House replied collectedly, his tone remaining somber. "You've got about thirty seconds until that call would be warranted once again."

Erika laughed softly but turned to look at him, her eyes searching his. "Does Lisa know you are here?" she asked simply.

House shook his head. "She took the girls upstairs with her and I took advantage of the opportunity to sneak away. Now what are they hiding?" he asked, locking his gaze with hers, his expression intent. "You can't keep it from me. Whatever the _great big secret_ is, I _have_ to know. And _you_ have to tell me."

Erika studied him but then replied, "I have no intention of keeping it from you. If you want to know, I'll tell you. It's as simple as that."

House's lips formed a flat line as he held off on asking until he finally queried, "Do I _not_ want to know?"

"House, even if you _didn't _want to know, you'd _want _to know. It's the nature of your _beast_liness," she dryly remarked.

He gave her an annoyed look, causing her to smile, but ultimately she took a deep breath, adjusted herself into the currently squishy futon a little more, and grew serious before she said, "Everyone's a bit distracted because there's a board meeting tomorrow at PPTH."

"So what's the big deal? Board meeting happen _all the time,_" he interrupted, clearly wanting her to get on with it.

"If you could refrain from _interrupting me_, I would _tell you_," she scolded.

"Whatever," House mumbled. "Just tell me then."

Erika gave him a droll look but then sighed before continuing, "Lisa's going to announce to everyone present that she lied when she… told everyone that her baby was stillborn. She's decided that tomorrow she really _needs _to reveal to them that Evie is alive and well. And then, _when_ they ask for an explanation, and James would say that's putting it _nicely_, she's going to come clean about everything. Or, from what I gather, as much as she can without treading too heavily on your right to privacy."

House sputtered in disbelief but noted just how serious Erika was and flatly stated without taking any time to think about it, "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. They'll fire her on the spot."

Erika shrugged nonchalantly, not having a better response for that and already resisting the urge to laugh at his off-the-cuff response, it apparently not being what both James and Lisa were concerned about in their reasoning for why he should be kept in the dark. "I think Lisa expects that. She expects nothing less. Lisa apparently talked with James some time ago and, well… she knew odds were she'd be throwing her career away in doing this. She basically admitted that no one would respect her once the truth came out and while she could tell them all the circumstances surrounding what happened, they'd still be left to question her capabilities, along with all the decisions she'd made while… as James quoted her as stating, 'mentally unstable'. Keeping her on as Chief Administrator and Dean of Medicine after finding out would be incomprehensible. At least, that seems to be the general consensus. James is of the opinion that they'd never regard keeping her as anything _other _than a potential liability. He… there's been talk anyway. Donations have significantly dropped and several board members are convinced it's because you are gone and blame Lisa for accepting your resignation; apparently, even several people who were _for _your dismissal on previous occasions and who were originally fine with the fact that you were gone."

"_Why _would she throw her career away?" House demanded, ignoring her final statement because it frankly, seemed ridiculous and probably something Wilson had completely come up with on his own in defense of House and his… _self-inflated_ importance at PPTH.

"Lisa told James that…" she began.

House interrupted. "This is too distracting," he muttered in frustration. "Just call them Cuddy and Wilson. The whole 'Lisa and James' thing is ruining my ability to concentrate on what you are saying. 'Lisa and James' aren't _real people_. I don't know _them._"

Erika smiled, amused at his terseness, but tilted her head to the side in acknowledgement that she'd do the best she could. "_Cuddy _told _Wilson _that she needed to do this," she began, dramatically pausing upon saying both names. "She said she _couldn't_ _not _acknowledge Evie anymore. Cuddy told him that she couldn't live with herself if she didn't and that she wanted to be able to be a normal mother who is free to talk and brag about her child. _AND,"_ Erika declared, changing subjects and poking him in the chest, "_YOU _need to _tell _her that she hasn't lost her parental rights. _Wilson _won't tell you to because he believes you have a right to tell her when you are ready but _I, on the other hand, WILL _tell you because while _when _you tell her won't change the fact that she still has them, pushing it off until you have no choice is just prolonging her suffering. As a mother, that's… just cruel."

"She hasn't said anything to me about it," House defensively objected.

"What _exactly _do you _think _she's going to say to you, House? That she was an idiot and boy does she regret casting off her parental rights? She blames _herself _for that! It was _her _decision!" Erika replied scathingly. "Regardless of what stands between you two ever going somewhere, she… _should know_ that she's still legally Evie's mother and not all is lost. Her wrongs don't make your wrongs right."

House exhaled through his nose and looked away, pursing his lips.

Erika's shoulders dropped and more sympathetically she quietly inquired, "What are you waiting for?"

He met her eyes and muttered finally, "I don't want to lose my kid. I don't _want _to share guardianship. It might not even be an issue. Maybe the court would give me full custody of Evie based on what Cuddy _intended _to do; _intending _to sever her legal parental rights. But I don't want to take the chance that it wouldn't go my way if she challenges the current decision of the court. Cuddy's doing better than she was. For all I know, we're now on equal footing as far as who is most capable of raising Evie. And… when this arrangement between Cuddy and I falls through and she and Rachel do move out for good, I don't _want _Evie to become that kid shuffled from one parent to the other. I don't _want _her life divided into going back and forth between Cuddy's house and mine. Losing Rachel would be bad enough. Losing Evie… I _couldn't… I just couldn't…"_

"Oh, House," Erika murmured softly, leaning into him, her head dropping to his shoulder as she threaded the fingers of one hand with his. "Lisa's not going to try and take Evie _from you_. She's not going to take _Rachel _from you. She _loves _you. It's the only reason I can get past all you've shared with me. It's… what redeems her in my eyes."

As if he didn't hear her, House mumbled, "Right now she has a reason to stay. She won't leave because she wants to be in Evie's life. I get that. She wants to be present for every moment because she's lost so many already. I could… _get by_ if Cuddy left. But… take away that reason for her to stay… Make her aware that she still has rights where Evie is concerned… Her reason to stay is gone and she can go back home, take Rachel with her, and then seek to take Evie too. Even if it results in partial custody, that still means I have to give up time with my kid," he hedged, knowing it went deeper than that but not about to go there now. "I'm a _good _dad! I have worked _hard! _But… you have no idea what kind of crap Cuddy could dig up to cause them to question my abilities in the parenthood department."

Erika sniffed, just _aching _over what House truly seemed to believe. She let the tears fall where they may for a second, not caring to take her hand from where it was laced with his to swipe at them. It was Lisa's job to convince him she loved him and wouldn't walk away from him again. Not hers. He wouldn't accept _her _list of why she thought Lisa was in this for the long haul, _come what may_. Searching for a rational argument, she managed a half-smile and wryly teased, "Well, think of it this way… Cuddy's about to be out of a job. She's going to need someone to freeload off of. So even if she knew about the parental rights thing, she probably won't have a house to live in. And her income's gone so the court will be less likely to favor her over you."

House snorted and muttered, "She's done some idiotic things but she's not a _complete_ _moron._ The woman is smart enough that she's saved and could get by just fine if she cut corners, even if she didn't find another position anytime soon."

But House's thoughts had now taken him from his problems to Cuddy's and he was back thinking about what she intended to do tomorrow. Cuddy was going to throw _everything _she'd worked so hard for down the drain. In order to… what?

"Why doesn't Cuddy just resign without an explanation and look for another job? Start all over… but not _completely?_ Why is it _so_ important that she tell everyone at PPTH what happened?" he inquired. "It would come out eventually but it wouldn't have to affect her wherever she went next."

Erika slipped her fingers from his to wipe the remnants of her tears away before tilting her head up to stare at the ceiling and better see his profile. "You want my _opinion?"_ she asked.

House rolled his eyes but dryly said, "Well, if that's all you have to offer me."

"_Besides _righting the wrongs she feels she committed against Evie," Erika began, "I _think _she might also believe it's the one thing she can do to _try _to somehow make things right with you. I think she might see a _glimmer _of hope that you'll be able to respect her a little more _because_ of it. And perhaps having a _shred _of your respectmore than makes up for the _cost_ involved. Even if Evie is her main reason in doing this."

"Why would I _respect _someone for throwing their _career_ away?" House queried in disgust.

"Because if you were a halfway '_normal'_ person, you probably _would_ respect her for righting this mess," Erika replied, rolling her eyes.

"Well, I'm _not '_normal,' am I? So it's stupid to think I'd respond in a '_normal_' way," House retorted, giving her an annoyed look.

"I think she's right," Erika murmured softly, shaking her head slightly in disagreement. "You might not see it _now_, but I think you _will _respect her more after this."

House huffed his skepticism but made no further comment, his head falling back on the couch as he contemplated this sudden development in silence.

* * *

House went home a few minutes later and took Monster outside before heading upstairs when he didn't find anyone on the first floor. He glanced in Rachel's room but it was empty so he continued on towards Cuddy's, pausing in the hallway outside, listening as Cuddy read Rachel a bedtime story.

"Mommy, why you crying?" Rachel interrupted, her saddened voice carrying to him even though he wasn't situated in a spot to see her yet.

House heard Cuddy sniff and softly reply, "Mommy's just tired. Sometimes when mommy's _really _tired, she cries, just like when you get really tired. But I'm okay, Rachel. And I want to know what happens next in this book too. So let's keep reading, okay?"

"Okay," Rachel agreed readily, accepting the explanation at face value since there had been no fighting between her mommy and daddy that day to give her cause to doubt her mommy now.

Cuddy picked back up where she'd left off and House waited outside the door for a few minutes before heading within, clearing his throat first.

Cuddy hastily swiped at her face as he entered and House pretended to be oblivious to her tears. He did something he wouldn't normally do then and walked around the bed, sitting down before pulling his legs up, the good one before the bad. Scooting over he took Evie from Cuddy's side, noticing she was being a little stinker, grabbing at the pages, and he settled her in his lap before looking at Cuddy.

She glanced at him and gave him a smile _almost _worthy of a Golden Globe, though even if it _had_ been worthy of one, she probably wouldn't have won because those people determining the winners just didn't know _real talent_ when it was right before their noses. But House turned his attention to the book she was reading then, glancing past her to see Rachel huddled into Cuddy's side, her focus riveted to the story.

House didn't really know what to say to Cuddy. Normally he'd tell her she was _an idiot_ to even consider doing this and hadn't thought out all the ramifications of her actions, nor how she'd spend the _rest of her life _being judged professionally by one lie she'd told, because in a situation like this… he _could_ compartmentalize enough to overlook his _emotional_ reaction to focus on the big picture. And this was a situation calling for looking at the _BIG picture _if ever he'd seen one_. _But she hadn't asked his opinion, not even informing him of her intentions. Typically that _wouldn't_ stop him. But this piece of news was still so recently uncovered that he hadn't had time to process _anything._ He was still digesting it. And what was more he wasn't sure what he himself wanted in this. He wondered if she intended to wait and let him draw his own conclusions when she _just stopped going to work _or if she was just waiting until it was over. House, _admittedly_, had a history of being prone to telling it like it was when he felt she was screwing up her life and so maybe she was holding off on telling him because she… thought he'd just make this _harder_ for her. And _probably_, he would. That was an undeniable reality. Because while he'd put forth an admiral effort of late, he still wasn't the comforting type – he wasn't the guy you went to in hopes of hearing it would all be alright when it most certainly wouldn't. The glass was never half-full with him. And he couldn't even give her a best case scenario because his mind automatically gunned into gear for the worst case scenario. That's what it was doing now.

Cuddy closed the book and murmured, "Alright Rachel, time for you to hop in bed."

"Ebie not sleeping," Rachel mumbled tiredly in argument.

"Evie's going to have her bottle and then she's going to bed too," House informed her pointedly. How at two and a half Rachel could rationalize that she shouldn't have to go to bed if Evie wasn't sleeping was a source of amusement for him.

"Sleep here with you mommy?" Rachel asked hopefully.

Cuddy was _actually _thinking that would be permissible. She didn't _want _to sleep alone tonight. But before she could say yes, House said, "No, kid. You need to sleep in your _own_ bed. Your mommy has to work tomorrow and needs her rest."

Rachel yawned but turned and slipped off the bed just as House moved to climb off as well. Her bed suddenly bereft of additional bodies, Cuddy got off too, reaching to take Evie from House a moment later, wanting _someone _close so that she could hold onto them in this moment before her Judgment Day in front of the rest of the world.

House helped Rachel into bed and then tucked her in before pressing a kiss to her forehead, wishing her goodnight. Turning, he made his way out of the room so that Cuddy could tell Rachel goodnight, heading downstairs to make Evie her bottle. He passed it to Cuddy as she came down the stairs and then went into the living room, sitting down at his piano to play for awhile and calm his thought process, needing what would be most soothing for him at present in order to think better.

"If I… if I go get you the music for 'Cuddy's Serenade,' will you play it for me?" she asked softly after taking a seat next to him on the bench facing outward, Evie drinking her bottle in Cuddy's arms.

House glanced at her, surprised by the request as up until now, she hadn't asked him to play _anything_. "I don't need the sheet music," he replied finally, his fingers coming to a stop on the keys before launching off into what he'd written for her over two years ago already. Normally he wasn't sure he'd have chosen to honor her petition. It was still an awkward one. But tonight was a different night, so very unlike other nights, and something in him didn't want to refuse her this one request. She was choosing to handle this one on her own. If she wanted to tell him, she would. But if she continued to choose not to, House wasn't going to force her. Cuddy was a big girl. And she had the right to make her own decisions. Even if he thought this would surely end in career suicide.

Cuddy sat beside House on the piano bench, listening to him play for her and drawing comfort both in his presence beside her and the music he had made and was even now making, just for her. She absorbed the Jewish undercurrents he'd incorporated, surprised to find he'd intentionally create a piece that somehow _honored _her heritage, if not her religious background, and then got swept away with the strength and vitality that was also interlaced in the piece. She couldn't help but wonder if this was _really _how he saw her or if this was how he'd seen her _before _all that had taken place between them as her world crumbled around her. Either way, right now she felt _anything _but strong, her vitality ebbing away as tomorrow closed in on her, though as the piece progressed and the reality that he'd created this with _her _in mind washed over her, she couldn't deny how it touched her, especially the hint of romanticism to it, and left her feeling like maybe, regardless of whatever happened tomorrow, as long as she had House and the girls, she could move forward and find happiness somewhere _other _than at PPTH, even if it was a hotdog stand embarrassingly close to her normal haunts. Cuddy looked at their daughter where she lay in her arms, her eyes sleepy and beginning to close, her lips still sucking tirelessly at the bottle in her mouth. Cuddy… had to do what she had to do. It was just the way it was. She was _so tired _of living a lie, of having a _double-life _where work and home had to be kept divided at all costs so no one would be the wiser to who Lisa Cuddy _really was_. And she _knew _this was her own doing. She also knew she was the one who had to undo it. Yet there was no obliterating the truth that it would _also_ be her _undoing._

House's fingers stilled on the piano keys and she looked his way and gave him a soft smile, because it was all she could manage, a lone tear trickling down her cheek. "Thank you," she whispered in a heartfelt manner, catching the tear with the back of her index finger. "That… that was beautiful, House."

He just nodded slightly in acknowledgement of hearing what she's said before turning more towards her, lowering his head to press a kiss to Evie's brow.

"You've been quiet today," he said then, surprising them both with the straightforward statement.

And there it was. An opportunity for her to open up to him. She _knew _it was even while she knew he was clueless as to what was going on and what tomorrow would bring. But they had never really talked about what she'd done in telling everyone at PPTH that their child was stillborn. She knew he knew what she'd done. Wilson had made that clear. But they'd never _talked _about it, undoubtedly because it was a sore spot for him and a source of heartache for her. She… she _wanted _to pour out her heart to him here. But she didn't want to make this all about what she was going through and was about to do, nor did she think she could handle it if he bristled, giving her the cold shoulder, shutting her out at the first reminder that she'd dismissed Evie as a stillbirth.

So as evenly as she could she said, "I just have a lot on my mind with PPTH's 2nd Quarter Board Meeting tomorrow."

House nodded after a second and slid off the bench, reaching to take the empty bottle from her before heading out of the room and towards the kitchen.

Cuddy reluctantly got up as well and detoured into Evie's room, checking to be sure her diaper was dry after easing her out of her clothes, then placing her into her pajamas. Sliding up the zipper, she buttoned the top snap and lifted her up to lay her down a moment later in her crib, smoothing the blankets over her.

When she was satisfied she turned around, startling at the sight of House standing in the doorway, sipping at his nasty non-alcoholic beer. Regardless of how nasty it was, she tugged it out of his hand after approaching him, tilting her head back to down a few swallows, House watching her with a raised eyebrow but making no objection.

"This is gross," she told him before taking another sip, her nose wrinkled, her actions as she continued to drink it countering her words.

"When you can't have the real thing, what are you going to do?" House muttered with a shrug just before he turned and headed back to the kitchen to grab another one now that she'd stolen his.

Cuddy hit the light switch on her way out of the room and then followed after House, hearing him in the kitchen. He looked up when she entered and asked, "Want to watch TV?"

She shook her head even if it was a rare occurrence that he'd ask her to watch TV rather than do so alone in his room. "Thanks but I think I'm going to try and get some work done upstairs on my laptop. I still have some stuff to finish before the board meeting."

House nodded, a second beer bottle now in his hand. "Okay," he replied. "Night Cuddy."

"Night House," she responded, resisting the urge to go to him for fear he'd realize something really was amiss with her, biting her lip before looking down at the floor a moment. "And… thanks for this," Cuddy added, glancing back up at him and raising her bottle slightly, then turning to head upstairs.

He watched her go, hoping she knew what she was doing, hoping she'd thought this through and was sure this was what she wanted. He still thought it was a mistake. But he didn't have it in him to be Cuddy's Cuddy, her voice of reason in this situation, especially if it meant Evie _would _have to be Cuddy's _dirty little secret _the rest of her life. Somehow that was now bothering him more than it had when Erika had first brought this up. And maybe the time really had come for Cuddy to make this up to her, even if she was too little to remotely understand what was happening around her. He just didn't know. It was better that… Cuddy call this one without him pushing his opinion on her.

* * *

Cuddy lay in bed that night, tossing and turning. It had been one of the longest days of her life and yet, Cuddy knew longer days were ahead of her. Tomorrow… everything would be altered by one opening announcement before the Board. She'd spent _years _studying medicine, practicing medicine, establishing her career in medicine and allowing her life to revolve _around_ medicine as she climbed the medicinal ladder of corporate success and played a significant part in establishing PPTH as a hospital among hospitals, both in its medicinal practices and in the teaching of medicine. Tomorrow, after half her lifetime of being grounded by medicine and the medicinal community, there was a good chance her life would stop having _anything _to do with medicine. Oh, she was sure she could probably start up a small country practice somewhere out in the middle of nowhere, if that was what she wanted. But it _wasn't _what she wanted and it certainly wasn't something that House would buy into. She'd like to believe she could get hired somewhere and just practice medicine again as an endocrinologist. But _who_ would hire her, even overlooking the impending fallout with PPTH, as overqualified as she now was and as long as it had been since she'd been in practice? That was one of the problems with taking yourself places professionally. If you hit bottom after climbing too high, what you had achieved was _against _you instead of _for _you. Heck, at this point, she'd even settle for being one of House's underlings if he'd have her. The only problem was, as much as she'd _love _being with him 24/7, House would be the first one to point out how miserable she'd be doing anything other than what she loved; what she _loved_ being her position at PPTH. And then there was the fact that he still hadn't been given his own team.

She was _screwed._ She _knew_ that. She's spent the whole last week compiling stacks upon stacks of anything she could think of to prove her value and worth to the Board in hopes they'd keep her on. She had everything in her office, all ready to go for tomorrow. But somehow she didn't think they'd hear a word she said _after _admitting the circumstances surrounding how she'd denied her own child. Her Board was compiled of intelligent individuals who at least in part, revolved their lives and took their pride in the success of this hospital. But when it came to kids… Rick Stephens had lost a granddaughter in a waterskiing accident at the age of fourteen. The ambulance had brought her to PPTH but it had already been too late. Miranda Nielson had a son with Down Syndrome. She was as tough as nails in the conference room but the minute she walked out that door, she was a mother first and foremost and a _huge _supporter of the underprivileged and overlooked. John Severson had a brother who had died following complications in donating a kidney to his niece, who hadn't survived either. All three of them were great assets to their causes and therein, to Cuddy, for she knew what was important to each and she knew who to go to when she needed a supporter for a cause related to where their hearts were at. BUT… there was no denying that the three of them would NOT look so kindly upon her tomorrow.

The rest of the Board _might _listen to her after making that admission, but these three alone would be thinking of their own private sufferings; how much they'd give to have what they'd lost in death while Cuddy had _faked _a death as a means of escape from her situation. Miranda would be helpless to fight considering once more what it would be like to watch her son grow up had he _not _had Down Syndrome. Cuddy knew she was a huge advocate for Down Syndrome kids and their families and she wouldn't trade her son for _anything_, but who in her place _wouldn't _be blinded to Cuddy's situation at hearing the fact that she'd had a perfectly healthy child and walked away from her, thinking identifying her as being stillborn was _preferable_? No. Cuddy was _screwed. _And she knew she _deserved _to be screwed. She knew she'd chosen this path herself. She just wasn't sure she had the strength to walk it and accept the great penalties she'd be paying in what was about to go down at PPTH tomorrow afternoon. And that weighed heavily on her mind as sleep lingered somewhere just out of her reach.

* * *

July 1st, 2011

6:30 a.m.

House was in the kitchen the next morning when she came down, already dressed for work. If she hadn't been so lost in her own troubles, she might have noticed that he looked no better than she did that morning, neither one of them having slept at all and their faces not quite masking that. However, since she _was _so distracted, this fact was overlooked and left untouched.

Cuddy poured herself a mug of coffee and walked over to the breakfast nook, quietly sipping at her coffee while staring out into the backyard. House glanced her way but didn't say anything, his thoughts on the long night he'd had and all that had entailed as he'd wrestled with letting her do what she wanted to do and also with what the alternative to that consisted of. WHATEVER alternative there _could possibly be_.

House grabbed the pot of coffee a few minutes later and walked over to her, silently refilling her cup and receiving a small smile of gratitude in response.

"I'm going to head into the office early this morning, if that's okay with you," she informed him then before wryly adding, "I still have a few things to finish up before my meeting this afternoon and I'm realistic enough to know on the days I have afternoon board meetings, the hospital falls apart and my mornings slip away from me before I'm even aware it's happening."

House nodded, not reacting to the forced smile she gave in accompaniment to her words, nor the tightness around her lips. This actually worked in his favor. It saved him from having to explain why _he_ was leaving the house earlier than normal, though he supposed he could always lie and tell her he too had to be into work early for one reason or another. It was highly unlikely she'd question _anything _he told her this morning, as single-focused as she was at the moment.

"Not a problem. I think I can handle getting the two rugrats ready on my own. At least, I _hope _I can," he stated somewhat doubtfully, questioning himself _after_ agreeing.

"I'm sure you'll do fine," she replied with another small smile, patting his arm as she passed him to head for the stairs. "But I'll set out clothes for Rachel to help you out," she called back over her shoulder.

He didn't reply but instead headed to get Evie ready for the day, figuring it would be much simpler to tackle one and _then _the other, rather than both at once. Ten minutes later Cuddy kissed Evie goodbye with a lingering, sentimental kiss and a few tears that House pretended not to notice as she did her best to hide them. He waited only until he heard the garage door go back down before he headed upstairs to get Rachel out of bed and ready to eat a quick breakfast before he dressed for work so they could head out the door.

* * *

10 a.m. – Cuddy's Office

Cuddy stared at her computer screen, reviewing and adjusting her overview of all she'd accomplished at PPTH since her hire. She had several piles of paperwork, legal agreements, letters, and e-mails on her small table in case she needed to present the Board with further documentation, but a summary of her accomplishments seemed more appropriate at this point. Not to mention it wasn't quite as awkward to transport and pass out. Sighing, she scrubbed a hand over her forehead before tucking her hair back so that she could add another afterthought to her overview, her eyes already hurting from the strain of staring at her computer screen so long.

There was a knock at the door then and she glanced up to watch Wilson as he entered her office.

"Hanging in there?" he asked, passing her a cup of coffee before placing his hands in his pockets, standing before her desk.

"Thanks," she said with a small smile, accepting the cup and setting it down on her desk before folding her arms across her chest, leaning back a little. Pursing her lips, she shrugged and quietly murmured, "I'm doing alright."

Wilson nodded, his expression thoughtful as he contemplated her, thinking of what was to come. "Not that it matters but you've got my support, if it comes to that," he mumbled shyly.

"Thank you, Wilson," she replied, smiling in gratitude. "I'm not sure it will matter if they bring it to a vote but I appreciate it, all the same."

Wilson nodded, looking away. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Cuddy bit her lip, surprised at how much she needed him today, just to be there. Shaking her head, she responded, "I appreciate the offer but right now, there's not much you _can _do. I… I'm glad you will be there though, Wilson. I… I could use a friend today."

Wilson nodded again, understanding. "You've got one," he quietly informed her before turning to head for the door. Stopping in the doorway, he glanced back and offered, "If something comes up, you know how to find me."

Cuddy nodded, watching as he turned and walked out of her office, heading into the clinic to complete his hours, before her eyes returned to the computer screen before her.

* * *

1:55 p.m. - PPTH's Conference Room

This is it, Cuddy thought to herself as she stood in the doorway of the conference room, shaking hands and greeting each board member in turn, her belly doing somersaults even as she somehow managed to keep her handshake firm. She watched Thomas Patterson approach and bit her lip even as he gave her a reassuring smile. She had Wilson's vote and also, that of the man before her. If only her job came with a guarantee of keeping her position should the vote be anything_ but_ unanimously against her. Since it did not, her fears were justified. Somehow she doubted even having these two men ready to advocate for her would do much to keep her at PPTH.

Turning after shaking Tom's hand, she pulled the door shut behind her and turned to face the room, verifying that everyone was present. Wilson had been among the first to arrive and he met her eyes as she scanned the room but she quickly continued perusing the faces of the board members as they visited with one another, catching up, afraid that if she lingered too long on a friendly face, she'd lose her composure. Taking a deep breath while trying to calm her nauseous belly, she glanced at her watch, her eyes closing briefly after verifying that it was 2 p.m. and time to start.

Trying to manage the most genuine smile she could and still knowing that it was tremulous at best, she lifted her eyes to meet everyone else's before stating, "Okay, let's get this meeting underway, shall we? I'd hate to keep you any longer than necessary, considering it's a holiday weekend."

Cuddy waited for the inevitable shifting of papers and pens scribbling on pads as people prepared for the meeting to start and only when everyone's eyes met hers, pens stilling, did she open her mouth and force herself to say, "Before we begin with hospital matters, I need a moment to bring to your attention something of a personal nature."

And that's when _everything_ changed and _nothing _went as Cuddy had anticipated. Because as Cuddy floundered with how to begin, despite how many times she'd already practiced this in front of her bathroom mirror _and _with Kate, their eyes all shifted to settle on something _behind _her as the door to the conference room opened, a familiar and yet long absent presence stepping into the room as if he owned the place and had returned to reclaim his dominion.

* * *

1:59 p.m.

After stopping briefly downstairs, House continued on his way to the conference room, knowing where he'd find the board meeting about to commence. He didn't know _what _was going to happen, heck, he didn't know exactly _why _he was _here_ or what was motivating him in coming (though he had some theories on that one, he wryly admitted to himself), and he wasn't even sure _how _he was going to carry out his "plan." But he _did _know that he'd had an _incredible success rate_ when it came to creating havoc in this hospital, untouched by anyone else. And _why not _stick with what he was good at? The night before he'd seen Cuddy's tears and determined she had the right to make her own decision. But so did he. And while he'd accepted and planned on letting the chips fall where they may, he'd be damned right now if it wasn't going to happen because _he _threw them in the air.

Approaching the conference room with a confident limp, House paused only long enough to eye Cuddy where she stood, her hands trembling behind her back where she'd crossed them out of everyone's sight, her eyes closed and her mouth open as she took a moment to collect herself, before he smirked, enjoying if only for a second that he was about to turn her world upside down _once again_, something he'd always… found himself to be _quite good at_ and was in this moment, quite proud of himself for. Basking both in the fact that Cuddy _really _intended to follow through on her intentions and do this, AND the fact that he had every intention of getting in her way, he threw the door open and stepped in with a bright and cheery, "Good afternoon people! Miss me?"

Cuddy froze in place, unable to turn and look at who had just entered the room. Her eyes fluttered shut and then opened again before she brought her hands forward to clasp onto the back of her chair, feeling all the more nauseous to have House here for her downfall, witnessing her confession.

Everyone else in the room appeared to be just as shocked by House's sudden appearance as Cuddy was, although when Cuddy searched their expressions, she was surprised to find Thomas Patterson looking at House rather serenely, something that gave her pause if only for a second. Then her eyes shifted to Wilson, certain that House had come because Wilson had opened his mouth and spilled his guts about what she planned to do today, but his eyes left House to meet hers, frowning as he stared suspiciously at her, and she realized he had come to the same conclusion about her that she had about him. Shaking her head just slightly, it was quickly established between them that neither one of them had anticipated _this_ happening. Then the silence was interrupted by House, who had given up on waiting for a reply to his question. Slowly she turned her head to look at him, trying _not _to think of how he'd come just in time to witness her execution and increase her suffering through his presence, even if she thought that if anyone had a right to witness this, it was him. Her fear and shame were reflected on her face and noted by House even as he redirected his attention to everyone else in the room, knowing the worst thing he could do right now would be to make her feel he sympathized with her.

"I guess I'll take that as a no," he dryly replied, his expression changing into one of feigned heartbrokenness before he shrugged it off and said, "No matter. I apologize for the interruption but I need a moment of your time. Then I'll leave you all to get on with… _whatever it is_ you do."

"House," Wilson mumbled lowly, afraid of what his best friend was about to do and genuinely _not _wanting himto make things harder for Cuddy than they were already guaranteed to be. The sight of him there with his hair combed and dressed in a suit though really confounded him, because Wilson had no idea why House would come in his Sunday best for what was about to go down. Unless he'd drawn the correlation between the two that it was like the requirements for attending a funeral, the death of Cuddy's career at PPTH and end of an era.

But House ignored him resolutely, his attention upon the board members who were staring at him, several of them frowning. "Well, can I talk or not?" House picked back up, seemingly annoyed by their lack of responsiveness.

"_Dr. House_," a board member then began, "If you couldn't tell when you walked in, we're in a meeting at the moment."

House gave him a withering look and sarcastically shot back, "Yeah, I got that Bob. And that's kinda why I'm _here. _I need to speak to the lot of you. All at once."

"_Robert_," the man he'd called Bob corrected him with irritation before replying with an edge to his tone, "And in case you've forgotten Dr. House, you don't _work here anymore_. You have no reason to interrupt our meetings."

House made an aghast face, as if this was something he was unaware of, before his expression melded back into that of irritation. "Gee, thanks for the news flash. Actually, I'm fully aware of that fact but…"

He didn't get the chance to expand though as he was interrupted by Miranda Nielson, who turned to Robert Phillips and resignedly said, "Robert, let's just hear him out. I'm sure Dr. House understands that we've got our own agenda of items to go over today and therefore, isn't here to just waste our time. At least, I don't think that's his _sole _purpose anyway. Let's give him the floor for a few minutes so he can say whatever he needs to. What can it hurt? And honestly, I have to admit I'm curious to hear what he thinks is so important that he has to come interrupt our meeting _without _scheduling an appearance first, when he hasn't worked here for a year now."

House ignored her implied rebuke, smiling broadly in her direction. "Oh, you!" he stated flirtatiously. "I always _knew _you liked me!"

Miranda stared at him, tilting her head down slightly to look at him over the top of her glasses. "_Dr. House_, _seeing_ _as_ no one else appears to have any _objection_ to you taking a moment of our time I would _suggest_ you take advantage of it before the offer is revoked."

House nodded, pulling himself together, knowing it was time to become serious if he was going to pull this off. He'd given them the House they expected. Now he had to catch them off guard with a House they'd never seen. Turning his head to look at Cuddy, who until now had been silently white-knuckling the chair before her, he softly encouraged with a pointed look, "Cuddy, why don't you have a seat?"

Cuddy shook out of her bewildered state then, finding her voice for the first time since he'd come in, her eyes focusing on his so as to not get distracted by his appearance or digress due to his haircut that he'd gotten since she'd seen him this morning, which made him look more civilized, even if she didn't like it for that very reason.

"House," she murmured, still uncertain about why he'd come but somehow sure of one fact; whatever his reason for being here, she _wouldn't _like it.

"Sit down," he stated again, giving her as reassuring a look as he could manage, silently asking her to trust him with his eyes.

She released a pent-up breath but glanced at Wilson fretfully before releasing the chair she was gripping onto, allowing House to pull it back for her, waiting for her to take a seat. Then he refocused on the room at large, his expression quite serious now.

"I have some things I need to tell you and I'd appreciate it if you could hear me out without interruption. I'd also like it if you could just reserve judgment until I'm done, because there isn't a doubt in my mind that you'll have me facing a firing squad before I'm finished otherwise," he began, his eyes connecting with each board member in turn, though they skipped over Wilson and Cuddy as he didn't want to lose his concentration while he had it.

Not giving anyone a moment to interrupt him or order him to get on with it, he wryly continued, "In order to get to the point of why I am here today, I have to go back to a little over two years ago now. As I'm sure you all know, I had to check myself into a rehab facility for several months after my use of prescription medicine for a very _real_ pain got out of hand to the point where I was not only addicted but experiencing hallucinations." House internally cringed at even bringing this up but he saw nothing else for it and it appeared to be the most appropriate point to start at, so therefore, that's where he elected to begin. Clearing his throat, he ignored the looks that told him no one knew where he was trying to go with this. He hadn't expected them to. "Upon my release I came back to work with the intention of putting my life back together. In a number of ways I was successful. I followed the rules. I got my license back. I stayed out of trouble. Hell, I even gave up drinking completely and haven't touched a Vicodin since. But in some respects, I still had a ways to go before I'd feel like my life was stable and on an even keel. I… could only handle so much. And therefore, in order to continue working here and keep my fragile world together, I was also seeing a psychiatrist."

Cuddy stared at House, not really sure where he was going with this, nor seeing how it would be better for him to reveal what had happened between them than for her to do so. In fact, she wasn't quite sure that he wouldn't make it infinitely worse. Cuddy didn't know whether to let him continue or whether to shut him down, as she felt it was really more appropriate that _SHE_ _do this_ as she was the one at fault for the situation she was in. Glancing around the room she took note of how everyone's attention was completely focused on House. A few years back, just his beginning _brashness_ would have been enough to cause tempers to flair and have him tossed out of the conference room. But the somber mood he had now established worked to grab their attention and on top of that, as he hadn't been around to act out, she was sure that there were those among the board members who had essentially been _primed_ to listen, being that they hadn't _had to_ nor had _opportunity to, _in quite some time. Readying herself to cut him off at any time, she nevertheless let him continue, not unaffected by his presence here even as she tried to work out how he'd found out about the board meeting.

House locked a foot behind the wheels of Cuddy's chair, seeing her shift in her seat out of the corner of his eye and knowing her enough to recognize he'd be lucky to get through this _without _her throwing a fit or putting a stop to it. His eyes darted to Wilson then, meeting but not sustaining his gaze, just checking in long enough to weigh in how Wilson was doing so far. If Cuddy didn't stop him, Wilson was his next biggest threat. For the moment though his best buddy sat there, frowning but making no move to speak up, obviously waiting to see what House was up to before deciding on whether or not he needed to jump in.

Huffing out a breath, he managed the most contrite face he could muster and mumbled just loudly enough to ensure that all present would hear him, "And this is where things get rough and people refuse to give me half a chance to explain. And also where I have to apologize to someone publically." Dropping his eyes to Cuddy whose head had swung up to meet his gaze, her own eyes wide and swimming with confusion, House took his performance to a whole new level as he gave her the saddest look anyone on the Board had ever seen on him and which _most _had indeed considered him _incapable of_. "I'm sorry Cuddy, for everything I put you through and all I asked you to do in order to keep my fragile world from being shaken when I was desperate for some stability and… let my fears control me."

It was laughable really, House thought to himself, seriously hoping Cuddy would be too surprised to consider him to be saying it in jest. He maintained her gaze just long enough to keep it appropriate but not long enough that he wouldn't be able to intercept Wilson _before _he released the disgruntled, disbelieving scoff that House knew even now was rushing to the surface. Turning his head and bringing his gaze over to where Wilson sat, he stared him down a second and the scoff turned into a choked cough, Wilson's expression showing he wasn't happy but would wait this out a moment before deciding how to respond.

Just as he'd expected Wilson's reaction, knowing he'd immediately see through House's behavior and recognize what he was up to, Cuddy's sudden incapacity was also anticipated. She was too shocked to process what he was planning, and therein, interrupting him was on hold until her brain had time to grasp what was going on. The only response he got from her was the small attempt to move her chair back, which his foot put a stop to, adding to everything else that was currently jumbled up in her head as her neurons fired back and forth in a rushed effort to understand the circumstances she found herself in.

The Board was still utterly at a loss for what was happening, though they now knew Dr. Cuddy was involved in whatever Dr. House was speaking of and that she'd, apparently, been done some injustice. Knowing he never apologized _to anyone_ for _anything, _his apology had them leaning forward in their seats, imagining all the possible things he could have done to _actually _feel badly enough to tell Dr. Cuddy he was sorry, though nothing they could have thought up would have fallen anywhere close to what House really had to say. Not hesitating now, he took advantage of the enraptured attention that was 100% his, and launched off into his diabolical scheme to make Cuddy the victim instead of the perpetrator, knowing that every single person in the room was watching him, waiting upon his every word. In any case, House knew it would be far easier for them to view him as the villain, rather than to believe Cuddy had wronged _him._

Sighing dramatically, he woefully explained, "The December before last, Dr. Cuddy was in a relationship that came to a sudden end. I'm sure you are all aware of that fact. Well, that she was in a relationship anyway. But what you don't know is that in a moment of weakness following her breakup, Dr. Cuddy came to me as her friend and I took advantage. Due to a one-night stand, she therein became pregnant with _my_ child."

House supposed that sounded awful but there wasn't much he could do to give that truth a better spin. Furthermore, he had to minimize what had taken place in their relationship over the months that followed if he was going to play it safe, and really, he had bigger fish to fry, so he accepted that the Board might not look at Cuddy too fondly over that one right now but it was nothing compared to the real story and considering all he still had on his agenda to tell them, in the end, it measured out to small potatoes. He didn't have to pause for the collective gasps of disbelief that filled the room but he did, more in irritation that they found it so unbelievable that Cuddy would allow something like that to happen between them than because he wanted to give them opportunity to speak up.

Before he could continue however, a woman relatively new to the Board whose name House had never troubled himself to find out, challenged his story by arguing, "But how can you claim Dr. Cuddy's relationship was at an end? She had an engagement ring on when I met with her in April last year to discuss the next annual fundraiser."

It had now dawned on Cuddy what House was trying to do even if she didn't know why or how he intended to carry it out and she tried once more to push her chair back before giving up, looking up at him with a tearful expression, her eyes wet but not yet spilling over due to their audience, her heart aching over what he was trying to do for her. "_House_," she began pleadingly, having every intention of putting a stop to what he was going to do, not about to let him take the fall for her.

House placed a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly but otherwise ignoring her, turning to look at the board member. Nodding slowly, he calmly said, "She did have her ring on. First because she wasn't ready to have anyone know her engagement had fallen through and then… because I asked her to wait a while on removing it. You see, after what happened that night Dr. Cuddy made it clear to me that she was not interested in beginning a relationship with me. She felt that what happened between us had been a mistake based on the fact that we'd known each other a long time and cared for one another in some inexplicable way, that it was too soon for her to enter into another relationship, and that we hadn't carefully considered what a relationship would mean and how it would affect us in the workplace, nor the hospital. In the end I agreed, not needing to be under any further scrutiny than was already aimed my way due to what had happened only six months before. But then I realized she was pregnant with my child and… my whole world was turned upside down."

House paused a moment, eyeing the group with an eyebrow lifted skeptically for effect. "Let's be honest, which one of you _ever _thought _I'd _be a father? _I_ _certainly didn't_. But then I discovered she was pregnant, even before Cuddy was aware of it, and I… kinda _freaked out_. And this is the real shocker," House dryly added. "But_ NOT _because I didn't want it. Because the problem was that I _wanted_ that baby. _A lot_. _Desperately even, _seeing the baby as my own shot to make something _better _of myself."

Tossing the file he'd been holding in his hand the whole time on the table so that the contents spilled out, strewing them the length of the surface, he waited a second, letting everyone's eyes fall to the papers lying there before he picked back up with his story, drawing their attention back to him. His tone somber and expression subdued, he acknowledged, "I don't think it comes as a surprise to any of you that over the years my… _personality_ has led to me making my share of enemies. These are just a _few _of the threats I've received over the years in which I worked here and I doubt any of you have forgotten how I was shot in my own office a number of years ago. They _never did_ find the guy. Anyway, when I… When I realized Cuddy was going to have my baby, it sounds cliché but… it wasn't just me I had to worry about anymore. So I set about concocting a way to have this baby enter the world _without _anyone being the wiser to the fact that it was mine because… I was concerned something would happen to Cuddy or the kid. No, truth is, I _wasn't_ concerned," he amended. "In reality, it scared the _hell_ out of me."

Everyone's eyes flicked from the papers lying across the table to Cuddy. But Cuddy's eyes were on her lap as she was unable to meet anyone's gaze and was desperately wracking her brain, trying to get ahead of House in his story, either to intercept him or to puzzle out just what he thought his lies were going to accomplish, _assuming _the Board fell for this which, seemed unlikely.

Seeing everyone's eyes drop to her, House reached down and gave her shoulder a squeeze, thinking it couldn't hurt to overdue his repentant act a bit more. He didn't wait however before pressing onward.

"I know that doesn't sound a lot like me. I make myself out to be… Well, image is _everything_, after all. And I know I never made a big deal out of the threats I'd received or out of being shot, _twice_, but…" Taking a deep breath he waited a second before quietly and quite convincingly mumbling in self-depreciation, "Let's be realistic here. Would the world really be worse off without me in it?"

_That_ _statement_ was enough to practically give both Cuddy and Wilson whiplash in how quickly their heads shot up to stare at him as they mutually exclaimed his name in horror that he would say something like that, which played right into his hand and made him smile internally, even though he carefully maintained his expression to make the Board believe he was being earnest and was fully convinced of the truth of what he'd said. "But you've got to understand," he continued. "My state of mind was still shaky from _falling off the deep end_. Plus, I _had _been shot. I'd been locked up in Dr. Cuddy's office with a psycho who almost _killed _one of my fellows.I'd had another fellow commit suicide with no warning whatsoever. I'd personally come close to dying more times than I could count. And… Anyway, it wasn't _just _about me and wanting to live a little longer. Cuddy… Cuddy has always been good to me. She gave me a job when no one else would," he said, discernibly chagrined. "I didn't want anything bad to happen to her. And… I was kinda looking forward to being a father," he threw out there, making it seem like he couldn't just come out and say he had been but had to hedge in admitting that so his image wouldn't take too great a blow. "Having a second chance to make my life count for something. Plus, come on, this was _my_ _kid. _I couldn't take any risks. I had to find a way to protect her. So… I convinced Dr. Cuddy to keep the fact that the baby was mine a secret, not correcting anyone who naturally assumed it belonged to her ex. At first she was fine with that. She didn't want to say anything until she was certain the pregnancy would stick, you know, given _her age_ and all. On top of that, she wasn't sure how _she _felt about being pregnant with my child. Then you had the whole matter of how she was going to get anyone to believe it was mine anyway. Half the hospital thought we thoroughly _hated_ each other. And who was going to look all that kindly upon her when they still thought she was in a serious relationship with another guy? But as her pregnancy progressed without any problems, _not _correcting everyone's assumption made the situation that much more complicated in her eyes. She didn't see it ending well and yet I… refused to let her come forward with the truth."

Rick Stephens narrowed his eyes, frowning, and then interrupted to ask, "How _exactly _would you keep Dr. Cuddy from telling people she was pregnant with your child if that was what she wanted to do?"

Everyone's eyes leapt from Rick to House, awaiting his answer.

This was good, House thought to himself. It was better to have someone raise objections now than later, after he'd expanded further on the lie he'd cooked up. Knowing _exactly _how to pull it off, despite the fact that he'd _never _actually carried it out with anyone other than his mother and been _genuine _in doing so, he took on a posture that indicated he was ashamed of himself for what he was about to reveal before quietly mumbling, "Initially I… reminded her of how hard it had been on her when I'd announced to the hospital from the balcony that I'd slept with her, after the hallucination I had in which I did, and all the ramifications that had had on her here at PPTH, even if it hadn't been true; how she'd had to go before the Board as well as deal with people's suspicions in general when I was gone for a period of months. I pointed out that no one would believe she _hadn't _slept with me way back when, after finding out she was now pregnant with my kid. And if they didn't believe that, her character would come into question. Dr. Cuddy was concerned that it would negatively affect the hospital and we all _know _how much this hospital means to her. Then when that was no longer enough to buy her silence, I used the fact that she was concerned I'd have a relapse and go back on Vicodin or wind up back in the asylum, against her. In my desperation to protect this baby at all costs, I manipulated her. Normally it would have been hard to get her to see my point, but a lot of things had taken place to make her think I wasn't being _completely_ unreasonable in thinking there were a number of reasons why it wouldn't be better to keep things quiet. And she certainly didn't want to risk my wellbeing now that there was a child who would be left fatherless if something happened to me because of her revealing the truth. As if that wasn't enough, Dr. Cuddy was also suffering from high blood pressure and on more than one occasion, her doctor warned her against doing anything that might cause her greater stress than she was already experiencing. In a moment of profound weakness during which I appealed to her with this as being in the baby's best interests, I got Dr. Cuddy to sign legal papers agreeing that I'd leave PPTH and take the baby for a time. She agreed to keep quiet about her in an effort to keep me from spiraling out of control. She thought she'd be able to get me to change my mind by the time the baby was born. But it didn't happen. If anything, I was all the more adamant that she stick to our agreement. It was made all the easier by the fact that she was going through some struggles with postpartum depression. She'd slowly grown more depressed towards the end of her pregnancy and it only escalated from there. As you know, postpartum depression can be a very serious _medical _condition. When the baby was born, everything was just so screwed up already that when mixed with the increased hormonal imbalance, it left Cuddy feeling like she was incapable of giving this baby all that it deserved and probably _had_ done what was in the baby's best interests by agreeing to give her to me, seeing as I was so set on doing all within my power to better myself for the baby's sake. Before she was prepared to deal with questions, her secretary inquired about the baby and in that moment, she panicked. She didn't have anything better to tell her than to say the baby had been a stillbirth. And in her already depressed state, she felt like our baby had died in a way, partly in that I wouldn't let her near her even once she was on medication, my own preoccupations furthered by perhaps irrational fears of what might happen when she was still in the depths of her depression. From that point on, what could Cuddy do? Her doctor got her on meds before she returned to work but they took a little bit to kick in and by that time, what she'd told her secretary had spread throughout the hospital and there didn't seem to be any going back. Once she'd worked through her decision to agree to my demand that we keep Evie's existence secret, allowing me to take her, she regretted it. But it took six months for her to reach a place where she felt like she deserved a chance to make things right, not just at PPTH but with her daughter as well."

Practically every sentence House had said since Rick's interruption was punctuated by Cuddy murmuring his name, her grief evident and yet misleading, as its genuineness only made House's act that much more believable, even as incredible as his story was. In fact, to the Board's perspective, Cuddy seemed almost sympathetic to his plight, as if she'd long since forgiven him for what he'd done and still hurt over how her postpartum depression had impacted her judgment. And after all, when _had she not _defended him? The strange thing was, as much as House had doubted the Board would believe anything he said when he'd left the house this morning, he was now almost convinced that his story was so unbelievable as to _be believable_, for in the eyes of _everyone _at PPTH, House was _prone_ to having the most baffling things happen to him, things no one would believe if they hadn't witnessed them firsthand, and wasn't Cuddy _usually _brought into his disasters, suffering because of it?

As if on cue there was a knock on the door behind him and the Board all turned their bewildered eyes from Cuddy and House to settle them upon an apologetic Thirteen, who entered the room with Evie in her arms, still trying to piece together what was going on since the moment House had dropped off a baby that was _clearly his and Cuddy's, _with her, without a proper explanation and very few instructions.

"Sorry to interrupt but she was starting to fuss," she apologized quickly as she'd been instructed to, even though she had only the vaguest clue as to what was going on, passing Evie to House who was thinking how perfectly it fit in that he'd told her to wait twenty minutes before bringing the baby to him in the conference room.

"That's okay. Thanks, Thirteen," he replied, accepting the baby from her before turning back to the room at large, hearing the door open and shut behind him as Thirteen made her exit, her role in this complete though an explanation _would_ be required later on.

House pressed a kiss to the baby's cheek as she giggled, happily waving her arms and saying his name, her eyes squinting at the feel of his scruff against her face, tickling her. Then he adjusted her so that the board members could see her better, knowing all eyes were now on his kid, the scene-stealer with her mother's dark curls, her daddy's blue eyes, and chubby legs kicking at the air. When Evie caught sight of her mommy, she burst into happy kicking, accompanied by a string of mama's, winning the parents in the room over quickly because after all, she was extremely cute. House was glad he could count on her for that. He didn't like nor dislike the idea of using his kid to his advantage in this situation, being that it was just as much for Cuddy's sake as it was his, if not more. It was just the way it was. Without knowing it, Evie was making herself into a team player, joining in the three ring circus House was now ringleader of. Passing her to Cuddy, whose eyes were brimming with unshed moisture, he rifled Evie's hair before looking around the table, his eyes once more regretful.

"I stopped seeing my psychiatrist before Evie was conceived, which didn't exactly help me make wise choices throughout this mess. But I've been in counseling since shortly after Evie's birth," he informed them solemnly. "It took some doing but I finally realized I had gone too far, allowing anxiety to overwhelm me after all I've lived through. I recognized then that the threat to Evie's life was probably more in my head than a reality. It was also pointed out to me that it wouldn't have been hard for someone to find out I'd only gone as far away as Riverside East, if that gunman was just biding his time before he tried again. Since I haven't received a single threat since I've been there, it… Well, I overreacted. I saw a threat that wasn't there. And I… I realized what I was doing to Cuddy and to Evie in asking her to stay away was not in _anyone's_ best interests. Cuddy's wanted to tell you from the moment I agreed to find a way to make this work for all of us but… I wanted some time to ourselves in order for Evie to adjust without the additional stress of facing whatever I've cost Cuddy in asking her to lie about Evie. She didn't know I was coming today. She wanted to tell you herself but… I think you deserved to hear the truth from me. This was my fault after all."

The room fell into a hushed state, various board members alternating between looking at House, Cuddy, and of course, Evie, who was at the center of the revelation. Adding as if it was an afterthought, House volunteered, "If you want, I could admit this to the whole hospital. I… don't want Dr. Cuddy to take the fall when this was mostly my doing and she was manipulated into going along with me for the sake of my sanity and Evie's wellbeing."

"I don't think that will be necessary, Dr. House," Thomas Patterson dryly spoke up then, all eyes shifting to fall on him. "I seem to remember well the last announcement you made to the hospital at large. Furthermore, I seriously doubt the Board wants to make a big deal out of this. My guess is that we will ask that you keep this between those present as much as possible. _No one _looks good if this were to come out. For the sake of the hospital, I think we'd prefer to say for undisclosed reasons, your child with Dr. Cuddy was kept out of the limelight and leave it at that."

Robert Phillips spoke up then, shooting Thomas a stern look. "Tom, I think before you speak for _all _of us, we need to discuss this in private and determine what stand we are going to take on this situation."

There were quite a few mumbles of agreement around the table but Tom took control of the situation like a pro.

"I agree," he quickly interjected. "In fact, I think it would probably be wise if we did this now, before continuing with the business meeting. Being that Dr. House seems to have had little choice but to bring the baby in with him, sooner is most definitely _better_ than later. I'd hate for the staff to jump to conclusions before we came to a decision, but no doubt people have already seen the child and have possibly made the connection, being that she looks an awful lot like her mother."

"I came in through a backdoor," House admitted then. "Very few people would have seen me, short of Dr. Hadley, who met me at the door to take her for however long I needed her to."

Cuddy didn't know what was more disconcerting, the fact that House appeared for all rights and purposes to have thought this out to the extent of perceiving the Board's minor irritations and assuaging them as quickly as possible, or the fact that she'd just heard him call Thirteen _Dr. Hadley_ for the first time. It occurred to her that this was _not _the thing to be worrying about right now, but all the same, if she thought about what _exactly_ HAD just taken place, she was sure that her head would impound from the migraine presently threatening to override any ability she had to function, which didn't come across as all that promising, given just how much she _needed _to be prepared to deal with the havoc House had just wrecked. Frankly, she wasn't quite sure why the Board wasn't questioning this further. Granted, Thomas had been quick to speak up as if he didn't doubt the story for a moment, and he _did _have a lot of influence on the group at large, but this… Was she paranoid because she knew the truth and therefore, knew this was just ridiculous, or would everyone else in the room quickly snap out of it and second-guess House's claims? She was snapped from her thoughts as a board member spoke up.

"Dr. House, you do realize our doctors are _not _paid to babysit for you, don't you?" the crabby-faced lady spoke up again, obviously having taken a disliking to him.

Swallowing his retort, he nodded once in acknowledgement of this fact before replying, "But I figured it was better than carrying her throughout the hospital where any number of people would see her with me and jumpstart the gossipmongers. Furthermore, I _did _stop to make sure Dr. Hadley had a break coming her way. It's regrettable that she had to bring her up to me but babies _are _a little unpredictable sometimes and Dr. Hadley carrying an infant around is far less suspicious than _my_ doing so."

No one bothered to try and deny the truth of his statement, for it was obvious to all present that seeing Dr. House enter the hospital with a baby in his arms _would _have attracted a lot more than a _few_ second glances.

Tom made as if to speak but before he could John Severson spoke up, frowning intently in Cuddy's direction. "It would seem like this situation put you under an undue amount of stress, Dr. Cuddy. I'm wondering exactly how you were able to cope. And let me clarify that by adding my concern is not just for you personally but for how successfully you could do your job when under such _extensive_ personal pressure which no one appeared to be aware of, further complicated by your medical condition."

Wilson surprised himself by beating Cuddy in finding his tongue first. "I was aware of what was going on," he quickly informed the room at large. "While there _was _some tension between her and Dr. House during her pregnancy, I made whatever efforts I could to force the two into keeping it out of the workplace."

Wilson hoped desperately now that no one amongst the board members would remember _just _how tense things had gotten, especially given that none of them spent all that much time in the hospital on a regular basis. He couldn't _believe _he'd been dragged into this but at the same time, he didn't see much choice. House obviously felt he had to protect Cuddy for some reason. Without talking to him, he had to assume he knew what he was doing and it was all for a very good reason.

"You _knew_?" Miranda Nielson probed, sitting back in her chair in surprise. But then she recovered and said resignedly, "Of course you knew. Everyone knows you are Dr. House's best friend and usually, his conscience. But you are saying that you knew this was taking place and didn't tell _anyone?_"

Wilson shrugged lightly. "House doesn't confide in anyone all that much, even in me. My knowledge was progressive with time, little by little adding information to what I already knew. And this was between Dr. Cuddy and Dr. House. It didn't really involve the hospital."

"But she lied and told everyone the baby was stillborn," Rick interjected.

"As far as I know, Dr. Cuddy only told her secretary. Everyone else learned through her," Wilson corrected.

"You _can't_ be implying this disaster was the _secretary's _fault," John butted in.

"Not at all," Wilson declared. "I'm just saying things spiraled out of control. Looking at how complicated the situation was, can anyone find that surprising? Being that the baby was with Dr. House, until that situation changed, to my thinking, it made sense that Dr. Cuddy just left it alone. Her personal life is her personal life. The concern would be more whether or not that affected her ability to do her job. So far I haven't heard anyone offer up an example of how it did."

Cuddy was not sure whether to be annoyed that she was being talked about as if she wasn't even here or if she ought to be thankful. She didn't have long to wait before eyes shifted back to her.

"Dr. Cuddy," Miranda stated in rebuke. "I _understand_ that you were in between a rock and a hard place with this situation, but all the same, my concern is that no one _besides _Dr. Wilson, who we are all aware of as being friends with Dr. House, was overseeing this situation and monitoring it on behalf of the best interests of the _hospital_."

Cuddy opened her mouth to respond but didn't get a chance as Thomas then spoke up. "That's actually not _quite _true, Miranda. You see, _I _was aware of the situation. Oh, I didn't know the details of what was going on, not right away, but it _had_ been brought to my attention that _something _was going on and in fact, when Dr. Cuddy returned to the hospital after her leave, one of the first things I did was approach her about the fact that she needed to receive counseling in order to cope with the situation and to ensure the Board that it would not unduly affect her work. She informed me that she was already seeing Dr. Milton on a weekly basis and I verified that fact. As far as I know, she's been seeing her ever since. While Dr. Milton _can't _violate Dr. Cuddy's privacy and discuss what they talked about, with Dr. Cuddy's permission of course, she _could _verify her attendance record and affirm that Dr. Cuddy is capable of doing her job, though being that the situation has obviously resolved itself and took place months ago now, that doesn't seem like it's altogether necessary. If someone can identify several instances that would lead us to question whether Dr. Cuddy's performance here suffered, I think that would be something we'd have to discuss further. If not, I think we need to focus on how we want to handle this from here on out. Obviously Dr. Cuddy does not want to continue hiding her child from the hospital. But she's brought this to our attention so that she can determine what our preference is in how she tells people. Frankly, I'm grateful _for that_."

Grasping onto the conditional phrase he'd led into this revelation with, another board member, Calvin Jonesby inquired, "Tom, you said that you didn't know right away of the complete details surrounding this situation. That implies at some point it was brought to your attention. When exactly did you become aware of what had taken place?"

Giving his fellow board members each a reassuring smile, he said, "Just this week actually. I swung by to speak with Dr. Cuddy about an unrelated matter and she opened up to me then, wanting my advice on how to best handle the situation. I was in agreement with her conclusion that the board meeting was an appropriate time and the least inconvenient for all, as I know some of you flew in yesterday from out of town specifically to attend this. I also spoke with Dr. House, just this morning. After talking to him, I felt it would be best if he attend this meeting as well so that you could ask him any questions that you might have. However, it was his decision to be the one to come forward and speak to you directly. He felt that he'd already asked enough of Dr. Cuddy and also, I think in as much as it's possible, he is genuine in his desire to make things right for all concerned. But I would ask you to remember, Dr. House, while perhaps a different breed than most, _is _still human and subject to human fears and emotions. I personally can understand his desire to protect his precious daughter, even if I think it's obvious to all of us that he _did _overreact and went about doing so in a manner that most of us cannot comprehend and which has caused Dr. Cuddy quite a lot of grief; indeed, in having to keep her daughter's very existence a secret when I'm sure she would have loved nothing more than to have her baby's pictures on her desk like any other mother does."

Cuddy stared at Tom in disbelief, incapable of comprehending his willingness to outright lie to the other board members on her behalf. Up until he'd spoken up a little while ago she'd completely forgotten that he knew _the truth _of what had happened. It had sickened her, for she knew all he had to do was rat them out and things would take a quick turn and then go into a downward spiral. But he hadn't done that and instead, had gone along with everything House had said as if he'd never heard otherwise. Only then did she let it sink in that he'd claimed to have spoken to House as well, just this morning. She didn't know how that was _possible._ She had _told him _that she didn't want House to know under any circumstances just what her intentions were. That left only two options: either he'd been approached by House, which seemed highly unlikely, or he'd approached House, which… which meant he'd not only violated her request but… had possibly _led _House into doing this _for_ her. That made her belly turn over and bile creep up until she swallowed it back down, unconsciously bringing Evie that much closer to her until the baby protested being held so tightly by squirming and whining.

House reached out and took Evie from her, hoping he could buy an exit shortly. He'd asked to take half a personal day but he still had Rachel there to pick up and on top of that, Evie would undoubtedly grow hungry within the next half hour, before the time rolled around for her next nap. As the baby changed hands, so did the spotlight.

Refocusing his attention on the room at large, he asked, "Is there anything else you need of me? Otherwise this kid is about minutes away from demanding her next bottle and I should make a run for it before we create a larger distraction on hospital grounds."

When no one made an objection, House nodded and took a step back in the direction of the door, seeing his freedom now in sight. Cuddy pushed her chair back then and he immediately eyed her with concern, knowing she was the biggest threat to the destruction of the web he'd created with his lies that lay within these four walls, Wilson already having indicated with what he'd said that he'd back his buddy up, regardless of whether or not he liked it. She'd been mute this whole time but House could see in her eyes that wasn't going to last. It was probably a good thing, as he had no doubt that in his absence, she'd be the main focus, but all the same he wanted to make sure she kept to his plan and the best way of doing that at present was to escape without her saying anything to him in specific.

Thinking quickly, he held Evie out to her as if he'd understood without her saying so that she'd gotten up to kiss her goodbye. Her eyes were a mixture of emotion that House couldn't properly gauge and therein, had no way of knowing whether it was anger that was about to rush to the surface, and for some reason, he _did _actually expect to see _that _particular reaction before _too_ long, or tears and incoherent babbling as the full awareness of what he'd just attempted to do, it's success still somewhat circumspect, hit her head on. Trying to ward her off from doing whatever it was that her brain now compelled her to do, he extended his arms further, bringing Evie's face into Cuddy's proximity. Without thinking she _did _kiss the baby, but then her eyes locked with his, her mouth trembled, opening with the compulsion to say _something_, and House quickly sought to cut her off, leaving her stunned when he brought the baby back to his chest only to lean towards her, pressing a hurried kiss to the corner of Cuddy's mouth, mumbling another apology for how much he'd hurt her just loud enough for everyone else to hear, reinforcing one last time all he'd told the Board. And then he turned to bolt from the room, his retreating form limping from her sight only seconds later.

Cuddy stared after him a long moment, her hand absently creeping up to touch the spot he'd kissed. But when she finally turned around it was to be instantly confronted with all eyes upon her. Somehow she wasn't sure even _with _all House's efforts, she'd survive this day. Sliding her fingers so that they were spread out, her pinky in front of her mouth, she sighed wearily and managed to pull herself together enough to say, "Well, that was not at all how I expected this to go…" before adding after a full minute had passed the only thing she could think of to ask, "I imagine you have questions for me?"

* * *

3:10 p.m. – PPTH's Parking Garage

House had just finished buckling a fed and now sleeping Evie into her car seat when he glanced up at the sound of high heels tapping their way across the concrete to see Cuddy stalking towards him. Could he really help it if his initial reaction was to smirk? He _had _just totally thrown her for a loop. He watched her make her approach, her body posture telling him all he needed to know. Irritation was rolling off of her in waves and somehow it was incredibly amusing to him to have her so angry and know that it was _completely_ directed at him. Well, he'd been right, hadn't he? _Eventually _her anger was _bound_ to kick in. Unfortunately, or maybe _not _so unfortunately, his smirk grew the closer she got, just cementing how upset she was with him. It was kind of nice though, he thought to himself. Gave it some measure of normalcy. Ah, he could say to himself, _just another_ day at PPTH. Interrupt board meeting. Check. Lie. Check. Come out of this looking like an ass. Check. Tick off Cuddy. Double check. Yep. Mission accomplished.

"House, _what were you_ _thinking?_" she demanded as she cornered him.

"Don't you have a board meeting to attend?" he dryly replied, eyeing her while ignoring her question, forcing himself to neutralize and control his facial expressions a bit better.

Cuddy shook her head, not in negation but in agitation, her lips firming against one another. "I got kicked out," she dismissively retorted. "After several questions, they decided they were going to take a short break before devoting half an hour to debating the situation _before_ determining how to proceed. The board meeting will resume for me at 3:40."

House glanced at his watch, noting it was already 3:12. As he'd stopped to feed Evie her bottle while talking with Thirteen, and then Chase who had heard he was about the place and successfully tracked him down, it just _figured_ that his dillydallying would cost him his escape. He was impressed though that she hadn't assumed he'd be long gone by now, even though it had taken her at least ten minutes to track him down.

"Wilson?" he queried.

Cuddy rolled her eyes but muttered, "They let him stay. I don't know _why._ But they did."

"What did they ask you?" he inquired next, certain that he was pressing his luck but not caring, opting for getting whatever information he could to find out if he'd been successful, rather than just indulge her in the opportunity to scold him without a challenge.

"_Never mind that_," she angrily declared in frustration, gesturing frantically with her hands. "What were you _thinking?_ House, you had _no right _to do that! You've made this all the worse! Don't you think it was bad enough? Now you've gone and lied to them, dragging Wilson and Thomas Patterson along with you, not to mention _me, _and if the truth comes out, we're _all _in trouble!"

House scoffed, an eyebrow rising. "Oh, _give me a break! _I didn't _make _Wilson or Tom do anything! _They _decided all on their own to back me up. There was no _coercion! _And if you think about it, Tom didn't say anything at all that could be counted against him. All the other board members know is that he heard our accounts of what happened before _they did_. That's not even a _lie._ And anyway, what's the worst that can come from _that? _The Board deciding he fell for my story too, _assuming _the truth comes out at some point when there's no reason why it should? Crazy as it sounds I think they bought it, hook, line, and sinker. But you know what? If they didn't, it is just as much _your_ fault as it is _mine_. Because if you had just _come to me _and told me how you were struggling with this, I could have possibly worked this out _with_ you another way. As it is I had less than a day to figure this out so that you wouldn't have to pay for the past with your career. So _get off_ your high horse and _get over yourself _Cuddy, because you can't _expect _me to come up with some _plausible_ story for what happened at the drop of a hat."

Rather than cool Cuddy's head, his words only infuriated her more. Her eyes flashed as she tossed her head about, rapidly losing it, clearly spitting mad. "Expect? _Expect?_ House, I didn't _expect _you to do _anything! _I didn't _ask _you to do anything and I didn't _need _your help! I would have been just _fine_ _without _you running interference for me! You think I didn't consider the consequences? You think I didn't realize explaining myself would probably cost me my _job?_ Well, you're _wrong, House! _You're just _wrong!"_ she sputtered.

House's lips firmed against each other as he glanced behind him and into the car to make sure Evie was still out. Then he turned his attention back to Cuddy, grinding his teeth before he bitingly declared, "You know what your problem is, Cuddy? You _wanted _to go to confessional before all those board members. You think it's some form of penitence or something," he spit out. "_Screw_ penitence, Cuddy! You want to make things right? Too bad! Nothing's _ever_ right! You want to throw your career away, do it! But… have it be on _your _terms and not _someone else's_."

Cuddy stared at him in his agitated state, taken aback. And then she wilted. He was right. She _did_ want to make this right. How could she not? But suddenly she realized it never would be. At least, not in the way of making it as if it had never happened. Even if she'd confessed everything to the Board, even if she'd sacrificed her career, the damage had already been done. She could increase her own suffering but she couldn't make up to House for his, nor deny one day to Evie that she _hadn't _told everyone at PPTH that she was stillborn.

House watched her eyes fill up with tears as her chin trembled and he softened, his head falling to the side as he reached out to cup her jaw and catch the tears that had already spilled over onto her cheek with his thumb, brushing them away. "Cuddy," he murmured. "I _know _that you're sorry for the past. I know that you regret this. I do. I know that. And I know you'd take it back if you could. But I don't see why this is anyone else's business. This is between you, me, and Evie. And I don't think that it should have to cost you your career. If there is another way…, why _not_ take it? What you want is to be able to acknowledge Evie, right? You want to be able to openly _be_ her mom? Doesn't _this_ accomplish _that_ for you, _without_ you taking the fall for everything publically? I mean, if the Board has an easier time believing I'm the bad guy anyway, which no one in their _right mind_ would deny, is it really that big a deal that I've done something to encourage them in that? You get what you want. You no longer have to hide her. You can _be _her mom. And hopefully, it's not at the cost you were willing to pay."

Cuddy bit back a sob but then shook her head slowly, House's hand falling from her face as she took a step back to increase the distance between them so that she wouldn't fall into him, as right now she wanted nothing more than to find herself in his arms. "_House,_" she mumbled. "I… I don't _want _to live a lie anymore. I don't _want _to cover up for what I did. And I especially don't want_ you_ being looked at like the bad guy in this, when you've done _nothing_ in this mess to warrant how I treated you and Evie."

House exhaled and then looked away, pursing his lips a moment. "You know what I want?" he asked quietly, his tone somber. "I want to be done with this. I want to just move on and… try and see if we can't make something _good_ out of this mess. At least for the girls, but… I wouldn't mind being happy myself. I wouldn't mind _you_ being free from this cloud perpetually over our heads. And I think… Aren't we paying for the past _enough?_ Aren't things hard _enough? _I don't _need or want _everyone looking at me with pity, Cuddy. When have I _ever_ wanted that? And how is furthering your misery going to make life better for any of us? How is that going to positively affect either one of the girls? Do what you want Cuddy. It's your call. I'm not going to try and stop you anymore. But at least consider the fact that right now, as far as we know, you still have your job. And holding onto it doesn't mean you are choosing your career over _anything or anyone_. Cuddy, you have two girls who love you and need you and who _want _you to be happy. The only thing you _don't_ have is everyone at PPTH looking at you, horrified by the mistakes you made. Let me tell you from personal experience, you can do a lot of crap to earn the image you feel you deserve to have. But it doesn't make anything better. It just makes you miserable. I… Don't do this for _me, _Cuddy. If you are going to do this, don't use me as your reason. Because regardless of what you think, I don't need you to do this for me. I don't even _want _you to. Believe it or not Cuddy, I do want you happy. And somehow I don't think this is going to do it for you." And with that, he glanced briefly at her, his mouth quirking slightly in resigned surrender as he shook his head, before turning, grabbing the door handle and opening his car door to climb inside, pulling out of the parking space a moment later while watching her slowly make her way back in the direction of PPTH's back entrance, the way she carried herself, shoulders and head down, telling him she had a lot on her mind.

* * *

2:50 p.m. – Jumping Back to Immediately After House Left the Conference Room

_Cuddy stared after him a long moment, her hand creeping up to touch the spot he'd kissed. But when she finally turned around it was to be instantly confronted with all eyes upon her. Somehow she wasn't sure even with all House's efforts, she'd survive this day. Sliding her fingers so that they were spread out, her pinky in front of her mouth, she sighed wearily and managed to say, "Well, that was not at all how I expected this to go…" before adding after a full minute had passed the only thing she could think of to say, "I imagine you have questions for me?"_

Cynthia Carter, whose name House hadn't known but who he would probably have nicknamed Sourpuss at best and Needsalay or something similar at worst, gave Cuddy an appraising look before querying, "So then, Dr. Cuddy, are we to assume you and Dr. House have now entered into a personal relationship? _Despite _all that he's done to you and how he kept you away from your daughter?"

They were buying this, was her first thought. How in the _hell _were they buying this? And her second thought was along similar lines but slightly different. How in the _hell _could she let them?

Cuddy's eyes met Wilson's and did not miss the tightening around his lips as he grew defensive on his buddy's behalf. That feeling was one reciprocated by Cuddy, who no more appreciated Cynthia's snide question than he did but who was _also_ very conscious of the fact that Cynthia was completely ignorant of what _had_ in actuality taken place between her and House in Evie's conception and birth. Shaking herself, she floundered, trying to gather her thoughts. _Why _had House done and said what he had? And was she _really _going to play along? Then again, did she have much _choice?_

Finally she aimed for the most honest reply she could generate while keeping her cool."Dr. House and I are _not_ currently in a romantic relationship. We are living together but that is because it is in our daughters' best interests that we do so. Their wellbeing is _both _of our focuses right now. That isn't to say that the possibility doesn't exist for a personal relationship to develop," Cuddy interjected assertively, having been silent too long, her chin coming up as she rose to the occasion, not about to have _anyone _interject their thoughts or feelings upon what kind of relationship she and House should have or consider having. Right about now she'd given up on worrying one way or the other about the outcome of this meeting and what would be decided by the Board, and so it was without hesitation that she voiced her thoughts, not caring what they'd think of her in indicating she was not writing the idea off after the outright lies House appeared to have convincingly fed them. "It just means that no romantic relationship is presently taking place," she finished.

"_Both _of your daughters?" Scott Jankowski, another board member probed, back-tracking.

Cuddy nodded. "If you remember, I adopted a little girl, Rachel, who will be three this coming November. Regardless of what you might think of Dr. House, he _is _actually a great father." With a fond smile that she didn't bother to suppress, she added, "Maybe because he can be such a kid himself at times. In any case, he's become Rachel's daddy too. So yes, our _two_ daughters."

"Dr. Cuddy," John Severson then began, "I have to tell you, I am not sure what to think of this situation we as your employers have found ourselves facing."

Cuddy blinked but that was the only reaction she allowed herself. "I imagine that to be true," she agreed, seeing that as the best course of action she could take in this moment. "I don't know what I'd be thinking if I was in your shoes either. And if I could go back and undo the past, if House could, both of us would probably do so in a heartbeat. As that's impossible… All I can tell you is that I'm willing to handle this however you'd like me to, whether that means making a public statement or doing something else that the Board decides is more appropriate."

Miranda Nielson then asked, "Dr. Cuddy, how do _you _feel this will affect your role here at PPTH in the future?"

"I should like to think it won't affect it at all. I…" Beginning again, she moistened her lips before pointedly announcing, "I believe I've shown myself to be an asset here at PPTH and I have the documentation with me to testify to that effect on my behalf. If the Board feels otherwise I have several offers of positions in other hospitals that I can consider. Of course, it would be my _preference_ to stay on at PPTH as I feel it has been a good fit and beneficial on _both_ sides, but if the Board disagrees, I am prepared to entertain the offers I've received of late."

Cuddy heard a few murmurs around the table but they were indecipherable at best and her thoughts shifted into being grateful that Tom had suggested this and that the offers were genuine ones, though of course, Cuddy hadn't expected them to hold after today so despite mentioning them, up until this moment she hadn't really viewed them as anything other than stage props. Now there was a chance that they would hold up, _if _she actually held to House's asinine story, but she couldn't contemplate that on top of everything else plaguing her right now, considering the confidence she was presently exuding _only_ lay on the surface. In any case, she was hoping she wouldn't _have_ to go anywhere.

Straightening her shoulders, she continued, "Honestly, I'm the Dean of Medicine and Chief Administrator of this hospital and with that position comes a lot of flack. There have been rumors flying about me since the day I started here. This doesn't even measure on the same Richter Scale as some of the rumors I've overheard about myself over the years; _especially _when it came to Dr. House and our relationship."

"The difference though being that _this_ is true," Rick threw out there, giving her a somber look.

Cuddy hesitated the slightest millisecond before nodding in the affirmative, her stress mounting in actually going with House's story _without _an understanding of what had motivated him. "If this ends up rendering me unable to do my job satisfactorily, I _will_ tender my resignation. I have no interest in seeing the hospital suffer. This hospital has… been my baby since I was hired on. So I give you my word right now that in such circumstances I would step down. However, I don't think that will be necessary. I think that as with most things, this will create a stir and then fizzle out within a few weeks. It certainly isn't my intention to make this into something bigger than it should be. Regardless of what has taken place in my personal life, my role here at PPTH is _not _that of giving people greater reason than they already find to extrapolate what they may from what doesn't concern them. That doesn't fall anywhere within my job description. Therefore, if it doesn't die down after a month and you see reason to call me before you to discuss the matter further, I will naturally accept that, for while the events in my personal life have been unsettling to say the least, my focus here at PPTH is and always _has_ been that of seeing this hospital thrive and serve the community to its best ability."

John Severson nodded his acceptance of what she'd said before turning to address the rest of the Board. "I think we should take a short break and then meet for thirty minutes to discuss this situation _without _Dr. Cuddy present," he stated assertively.

No one made a move to disagree with him and so he turned towards Cuddy and said, "Dr. Cuddy, I would suspect that we are all anxious to put this matter behind us so we will meet and come to some agreement on what we think needs to happen from here on out and in the meantime, please take this time to do whatever you have to so that we can turn to the subject matters we still have to cover before adjourning this quarterly meeting. I would estimate that you should plan to be back here at 3:40 to hear our decision and to proceed with other matters related to Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital."

Cuddy nodded curtly before sliding her chair back and getting to her feet, leaving the conference room in as dignified a manner as she could manage, glancing only briefly around the table just long enough to make eye contact with each board member before thanking them for their time and exiting the room. Once out of sight in the stairwell, she leaned against the wall and let her eyes close as she tried to pull herself together and determine what in the hell she was going to do now.

* * *

4:15 p.m. – RE's Daycare

House entered the daycare with Evie and walked past Ruth's office to head into the toddler room. Upon walking out with Rachel at his side, he actually _wasn't _all that surprised to see Cameron leaning against the wall, waiting for him.

Rolling his eyes, he sarcastically asked, "What? Is there a House-alert hotline set up now? House has done something requiring action! Quick! Give Cameron a call!"

She huffed out a breath, her eyes narrowing suspiciously as her lips pressed firmly together, shoving off the wall a second later. "Chase called. Mentioned he'd run into you at PPTH and that he'd heard through the grapevine that you'd made an appearance at their board meeting, _with _Evie in your arms. Care to tell me what that's all about? Especially given that you just made it a bigger deal, reacting the smart-alecky way you just did?"

House realized his error in assuming Wilson had been the one to call her but moved on just as quickly. "Nothing to tell."

"You're _such _a liar," she said then, irritation simmering just below the situation. "I can postulate for myself that you were there to reveal Evie's existence, since no one knows anything about her at PPTH and you wouldn't have her there with you if that wasn't your intention. What I can't figure out is just how you explained what happened with Cuddy and what your reasons were for _whatever _you chose to say to them. Somehow I doubt you were completely honest about everything that happened."

"What happened is none of their business," House muttered, throwing Evie's diaper bag at her before walking past her with Rachel's hand in his free one, not wanting anyone to overhear them and knowing Cameron would follow him out anyway. "It's not going to surprise you to hear I concocted some half-assed story to keep my private business private while finding a way to also allow Cuddy to… _acknowledge _Evie's existence to the rest of the world in the process _and _keep her job."

Cameron sighed as she followed him into the parking lot, adjusting Evie's diaper bag on her shoulder before crossing her arms over her chest as she went. "I'm not going to like this, am I?" she asked resignedly.

House turned his head in her direction, a grin suddenly taking over his features. "Nope," he agreed readily. "But you'll survive. And probably spend the next few weeks lecturing me _every chance you get_ about whatever you can think of before giving up when nothing you say affects me."

Cameron rolled her eyes, sighing again, coming to a stop beside his car before removing the diaper bag from her arm, frowning at him as she handed it over. "Whatever you told them, and I'll find out soon enough what that is, who did you do it _for?_"

House opened the door for Rachel to help her into her car seat, tossing in the diaper bag as well before stepping aside as Cameron gestured she'd buckle her in, freeing him to walk around the car to settle Evie in her car seat. "It was in the girls' best interests," he said without hesitation, not even having to lie in phrasing it that way. "But like I said, I don't need anyone else knowing my business. Certainly not at PPTH. I've never enjoyed people's pity, Cameron."

Cameron straightened, shutting the door to come around the car, waiting for House to move out of her way before leaning back inside the car to give Evie a kiss. Looking at House as she straightened once more, she pursed her lips but then nodded. "You'll get the first installment of whatever lecture I deem appropriate, _after_ the weekend."

"Not until Wednesday though," House volleyed with a smirk. "Thank whoever the hell I don't believe in for small favors."

"What _are _your plans for the 4th?" Cameron couldn't help asking dubiously then.

"Get to go watch WWIII erupt at Cuddy's sister's house as she breaks the news that she has a nine-month-old daughter that she hasn't bothered to tell them about," he informed her, wiggling his eyebrows. "It's gonna be _sweet!"_

Cameron shook her head, slightly mollified by his cavalier attitude. "Have a good weekend, House," she mumbled in resignation to _whatever _had happened at PPTH.

"Bye Cameron," he singsonged, going around the car to open his door and climb in. Pulling out of the parking lot, he watched her re-enter RE before heading for home, glad to be on this side of the events of that day and free to go enjoy a breather with the girls, thinking he'd definitely earned it this time.

* * *

6:00 p.m. – House's Residence

House loosened the knot on his tie and then removed it completely, sighing as he sank down upon his bed beside Evie. Rachel came running in with the two cookies he'd given her, thankfully having managed to keep them away from Monster, and he lifted her up onto the bed to join them, not caring about anything at the moment, let alone cookie crumbs.

It had been almost a couple of hours now but no one had contacted him to let him know how things had turned out. He couldn't say that he was all that surprised that Wilson hadn't called yet, basically assuming he was receiving the silent treatment for the time being, Wilson's passive-aggressive form of punishing him when he knew House would be interested in whatever the Board had decided, and if they weren't done by now, they'd had to have taken a break at some point following their decision regarding Cuddy having been made. But regardless, he hadn't heard a thing. Maybe Cuddy was still pissed off. _Who knew?_ And anyway, House knew better than to call Wilson as he didn't want to be the one to open that can of worms.

Looked like he'd be waiting until Cuddy got home. She was probably still trapped in meetings anyway, the Board's discussion regarding hospital matters having been put off until _after _the fiasco he and Cuddy had been tugging war over creating.

Pushing himself back up to remove his dress shirt and don something more comfortable, House tried to think of what he could make the girls for dinner, since he himself wasn't all that hungry yet. There had to be something easy to throw together in the fridge.

* * *

7:17 p.m. – PPTH's Lobby

Cuddy followed Thomas Patterson at a discreet distance, only reaching out her hand to catch him once he was alone at the front desk, about to say his goodbyes before exiting the building. "I'm wondering if you have a moment to speak with me regarding the groundwork being laid for the fundraiser taking place towards the end of the year?" she politely inquired, though her voice carried an edge to it that communicated it was more a demand than a request, both of them knowing that in reality it had _nothing _to do with the aforementioned fundraiser.

He nodded agreeably, smiling easily. "Shall we take this into your office?" he inquired, a hand stretching out to gesture in that direction while his other hand made brief contact with her arm in a gentlemanly fashion.

Cuddy nodded, heading in that direction, quite thankful that the rest of the Board had already dispersed. She supposed most would consider it appropriate that she was meeting with him, assuming it was regarding hospital business, since he _was _a board member. Others might see it in context of what had just taken place and not take any issue with it at all because it would be _natural_ to speak with someone and thank them for standing up for you, assuming they saw that had in part been what he'd done. But at the same time, Cuddy didn't want to give anyone reason to be suspicious at sighting them speaking together in private after what had just taken place, mainly because she didn't want anyone to accuse either of them of… she didn't know what. Bribery being involved, money changing hands, some sort of _personal _favor being done, any of it.

The door had barely closed behind him though when Cuddy wearily asked as she headed for her desk, "Tom, _why _would you _do_ that? I don't know nor understand what would motivate you to lie like that. You knew the situation. You knew the truth of what I'd done. I… I'm concerned on many levels but my main two issues are _why _you would do what you did and _what _I'm supposed to do now! You do realize it's no longer just me who has deceived the Board but you, Wilson _and _House as well. If the truth comes out, you've _compounded _my problems! I went in there _expecting _to lose my job. I _hoped _I wouldn't but it was unrealistic to believe that wouldn't be part of the price I paid in coming clean. It's not that I'm not grateful for what you did," she added, her tone softening, "But if the truth comes out, now I'm not the only one who will have to pay a price in this. You'll have incriminated yourself as well!"

A smile crept over Thomas's features and he gestured towards her seat before sinking into the chair across the desk from her, waiting until she had reluctantly taken her seat. "I'd like to tell you a brief story," he began, lacing his fingers together in his lap as he reclined back into a more comfortable position.

Cuddy sighed, pursing her lips, but hesitantly nodded to indicate he should continue, not about to demand a simple answer when it was clear this was going to prove more complex than that, just by his words and posture.

Tom's eyes twinkled for a second at her resignation but then he cleared his throat. "I've been on the Board here for a long time. I remember very well when you hired Dr. House. I also remember all the objections the Board raised after that decision had already been made without consulting them."

"I had the right to hire whoever I wanted," Cuddy immediately defended.

"Yes, but not to create a whole new department without authorization in offering him a job. And regardless, he was a controversial hire at best," he remarked, his words causing her to shift uncomfortably in her seat until she caught herself doing so and lifted her chin defensively.

"I _didn't _create the department until _after _the Board was… on board," she asserted, floundering just a second with the awkward wording.

Thomas nodded, opting to give her that even if it wasn't the whole truth. "As I was _saying_," he picked back up pointedly. "I was there for that meeting. I remember how fiercely you argued that your decision to hire Dr. House _wasn't_ an error in judgment, considering his long history of getting fired by other hospitals, but something that _promised _to make PPTH an internationally known hospital _if _you were given the go ahead to create a Diagnostics Department, something never before heard of. You hadn't been Dean of Medicine all that long, but you knew what you wanted and were determined to get it, right from the start. It was one of the reasons we hired you. You were a go-getter; still are I believe. And back then, what you wanted was Dr. House and this department you'd come up with all on your own, to become part of PPTH. I saw the fire in your eyes and _knew _you wouldn't give up until you got your way. It's been something I've admired about you from day one. But there was something else in your eyes that day, an ardent desperation of sorts. It was that combination which made me immediately sit up and take notice. It wasn't just that you were bound and determined to get your way. This time was different. This time you _needed _your way. It was the first time I'd ever seen that look in your eyes and it was what led me to immediately get on board with your plan, wanting to test you out and see just where you could take this hospital if people gave you half a chance. But also because somehow I knew then that you saw something in this man which no one else did. And I can't deny that I genuinely wanted to know just what that was."

Cuddy looked away, caught off guard in having him reveal this to her and suddenly choking on emotion at the reminder of just how much she'd needed House here, in _her _hospital. It made the fact that she'd been the one to send him on his way, all the more heartbreaking.

Tom waited until she hesitantly reestablished eye contact before continuing. "So I watched. I watched this gruff, undisciplined, screw-the-establishment, cocky bastard take up residence in this hospital, avoid clinic duty, mistreat patients, and force you into hunting him down to _make _him work even a little bit towards pulling his own weight here. Strangely, it just served to intrigue me all the more. Well, I take that back. First it angered me. He didn't seem capable of feeling like a normal human being and on top of that, there was the way he treated you. His disrespectfulness and lack of gratitude for how you went to bat for him in order to bring him on board annoyed me, for, oh, about the span of five minutes. _Then _I remembered that you'd signed up for his insolence and were perfectly capable of knocking him down a peg or two, if you so chose, and _that_ reassured my ruffled feathers on your behalf. Anyway, as I said, I was watching Dr. House closely. And needless to say, the _only _thing I saw to support your hiring him was the fact that he _did _actually show an uncanny ability to solve the most mind-boggling cases that other doctors either gave up on figuring out or overlooked vital puzzle pieces regarding. _And _what you promised would happen, started to. His reputation began to reflect not _just_ his temperament, but _thankfully_, his intelligence, and it attracted both patients AND donors to PPTH who we otherwise would not have drawn, not to mention the publicity that also generated. Those two realities were all that weighed in his favor, in my mind. That and how much you appeared to believe in him. For what reason, I had no clue. But I was willing to trust that your reason was a good one. And I waited. I waited _years, _wanting to see it, wanting to see… _something_ to show there was a possibility of a _personal _redemption for Dr. House."

"Tom," Cuddy began to interrupt, not wanting to think of anything _having _to redeem House in _anyone's _eyes, especially after what he'd done today, even as much as it annoyed her still.

Thomas shook his head, his eyes communicating a silent request that she abstain from breaking his train of thought, and when she fell silent he pursed his lips a moment, his smile creeping back and stealing over his lips. "Then one day," he continued, "I was in the hospital for a meeting. I happened to come across Dr. House with a woman, a woman I quickly found out to be a patient's wife. She was crying because her husband was dying and I paused where I was, afraid that I'd have to intercede to spare her from experiencing House's disdain for her more than justifiable behavior. Instead I got one of those rare, eye-opening moments that hit you like a lightning strike. Because she took a couple steps forward, bringing her to the point where she was leaning into him, crying against his shoulder and seeking his comfort. He hadn't seen me but I watched as he awkwardly processed the moment, clearly uncomfortable, and then he opened his mouth. I immediately took a step forward, deeply concerned about what would come out of that uncouth mouth of his. But I couldn't hear his words and so I waited uncertainly for some indication that this was going to result in disaster and that it was necessary for me to intercede. And then… _then _I _watched _in disbelief as his hand came up. Mind you, you could tell he was fighting it, fighting what he was about to do, but regardless, he placed his hand on her shoulder and patted her. Repeatedly. _Consolingly._ It was one of the most awkward displays of sympathy I'd ever seen, but all the same, it _was _sympathy and he _was_ acting like a human being. She asked him to with her actions and he… responded _appropriately. _And that in itself was… flabbergasting and fascinating and… every bit worthy of some of his now famous tendencies towards dissection. But instead of him dissecting the moment, _I was_. I forgot to add, Dr. House was covered in the patient's urine and the whole hallway _reeked _because of him. Somehow that seems an important detail I shouldn't leave out. He was covered in _her _husband's urine and yet he took the time to stand there and comfort her, a _patient's family member, _rather than angrily storm off in irritation to change_._ There was no sign of impatience or annoyance or… anything that I could have interpreted negatively, and believe you me, I _was looking _for it. Crazy thing is, from that moment my position regarding him changed from being about what you must have somehow saw in him to what I now had first-hand proof to believe _could_ possibly exist in him, once you got _beyond _his exterior. He would have _hated _knowing a board member saw him be tender with a patient. But that's how I viewed what I had the blessing of witnessing. And maybe that's why I've never shared this story with anyone before; because he would never have wanted me to see it in the first place. Or maybe it's because I didn't want that door to his soul to seal closed completely anytime soon. In any case, I've seen_ more_ instances of positivehuman emotion in the time that's lapsed since that day. And despite how I might have initially viewed his treatment of you, a number of those times involved _you. _You want to know _why _I was willing to do what I did today? To take the stand I did? To… take up Dr. House's cause and go along for the ride? It's because _that man _came _to me_, going the extra mile to track me down in order to interrupt my plans and ask me to have breakfast with him this morning, and it had absolutely _nothing _to do with asking for a personal favor. Not really. At least, I don't view it that way, even if the results personally affect him in one way or another. No, what that man wanted… What Dr. House was asking of me was that I help _him_ protect _you._"

"I didn't _need _protecting," Cuddy adamantly declared, interrupting him. "I was _ready _to accept the consequences of my bad decisions. I was ready to _pay _for what I've done."

Tom chuckled, his grin growing. Shaking his head, he happily declared, "You don't get it, Dr. Cuddy. You're completely missing the point. It _wasn't _about what you were ready to do or give up or sacrifice to correct the situation. For me, it was about what _he _was willing to do to ensure you wouldn't _have to. _That man… That man _loves you._ I let him launch into his whole cockamamie story, every once in a while pushing him with a question that revealed I was dubious at best, urging him on in his attempt to convince me, testing his abilities to hold his story together, and then I deflated him completely by calling him on his lies once he'd laid them all out before me, admittedly because the opportunity was irresistible after all I've put up with over the years. It took him a minute to recover but then he realized that I'd known coming into it that his story was a bunch of bull. It surprised him but he was undeterred. He wasn't going to leave until I saw his perspective and agreed to help him. Of course, he wasn't about to acknowledge the _real reason_ why he was determined to do exactly what he _did do_ during the board meeting. No. He went off on how this was all about him. And when that didn't pass muster with me, he shifted gears into how this was in his kids' best interest. But a man doesn't do something like this for a woman he doesn't love. It would be plain stupidity and ignorance for me to believe otherwise. And it was my _honor _to assist him in as much as I could, not _just _because I'd hate to see you go, but because I'd hate to see Dr. House _not _walk out of this victorious."

Cuddy scoffed, her eyes filling with unshed tears due to her own sorrow. "And where's the victory, Thomas?" she asked quietly, her voice cracking. "Huh? Yeah, House got what he wanted. I still have a job. My career is safe. But now… everyone is going to be under the impression that it was _his_ cruelty that kept me away from our baby those six months. Once more _he's_ the bad guy. And this time… This time he's _innocent. _But no one _knows that._ Not everyone who _should_, anyway. And I can't even correct that now. He took it out of my hands. He's… He's willingly paying the price for _my _sins," she concluded angrily, using an index finger to wipe away the tears that were now spilling down her cheeks.

"Aw, well…" Tom replied contentedly in an almost philosophical manner, folding his arms back behind him to support his head. "That's a demonstration of real love, isn't it? You've wronged him and yet he's willing to pay the cost so you don't have to?"

Cuddy folded her arms across her chest, clearly disgruntled and wrestling with a number of conflicting emotions.

Thomas studied her a moment and then fought a smile before clarifying, "You're mad at him?"

"Damn right I'm mad!" she bit out, her eyes blazing.

Thomas reached in his pocket and removed a clean handkerchief, passing it to her. "Dr. Cuddy, _love_ will make a man do crazy things. Can you honestly blame the guy? He _knew _what he was getting himself into. But when have you ever known Dr. House to _care _what people think of him? Honestly, I don't think what people in this hospital will think of him now makes one bit of difference to him."

"He _does _care," she corrected, her anger melting as she swallowed hard. "He acts like he doesn't, but I _know _he does. _Especially _in _this._"

"It seems to me," Tom began after considering the matter a moment, "the people whose opinion truly matters to Dr. House, already _know _the truth. They aren't going to think less of him because of what he opted to tell the Board. And the way he painted it, the impression everyone got _wasn't just_ that once again, Dr. House proved himself a selfish bastard, though I'm sure you _will _have people express that thought, but that Dr. House did what he did because he was afraid for the wellbeing of those he loved. Again I'd repeat men do _crazy_ things in the name of love."

Cuddy sighed, closing her eyes before massaging her temple.

"Sorry they elected to suspend your raise for the time being until they can speak with Dr. Milton and also verify your job performance is still up-to-par," he said then. "I didn't argue against it because I know there are people on the Board who need to feel like some decisive action has been taken to… feel like you've been fairly warned and to insure that this will not happen again."

Cuddy breathed out a laugh, opening her eyes to look at him drolly. "Not getting my raise is the _last thing_ I care about. But I can assure you, this will _never _happen again."

"They want him back you know," Thomas said casually then, causing Cuddy's eyes to widen as she stared at him. "And since the big reason for that is money, I don't think today's events will be held against him for too long. Oh, maybe they'll require a psychological screening and approval from his psychiatrist, along with looking for someone other than you to oversee him, but other than a few minor hoops, I think they'll be looking to get him back as soon as possible. I don't know if you can convince him to come back when it does show up next on the docket, perhaps as soon as September's board meeting, but… I don't mind telling you I consider it a sure thing. And if he plays his cards right, he might even manage a pay increase while he's at it."

"I… I don't know if he _would _be willing to come back. But I… Should the Board make such a decision, I will do my best to get him back here where he belongs," she agreed seriously.

"Well, I have to be going," Thomas said as he got to his feet. "I've got dinner plans scheduled with the Mrs. and she'll kill me if I show up to the restaurant late. She hates sitting alone at a table. It's one of the few things guaranteed to put me in the doghouse."

Cuddy pushed her chair back and got up as well, nodding. "Thank you… for today," she hesitantly mumbled, her eyes the main indication that she actually did appreciate his support.

"You're welcome," he replied with a smile and a nod, turning then to head out.

Cuddy watched him go until he was out of sight and then sighed before turning back to her desk, sinking into the chair he'd just vacated. She needed to take some Tylenol and then get out of here. She also seriously needed some tea.

* * *

8:45 p.m.

Cuddy ended up driving around for a while after going through the Starbucks drive-thru to get a chai tea, trying to process the day in its entirety before she finally directed her car in the direction of home. Pulling into the driveway, she paused for a moment, her head falling back against the headrest, before she inhaled a deep breath and took her foot off the brake, hitting the button to open the automatic garage door. She parked the car and wearily climbed out of it, thankful to have the day over with but not quite sure she was content with what had gone down. She still had a job. She could acknowledge that she was grateful for that. But… she didn't know if the costs of it balanced out what she'd managed to hold onto somehow. She needed to talk to House but… she didn't even know what to say to him. Part of her was still angry with what he'd done. Another part of her… was completely lost, not knowing what to make of him OR of what he'd done.

Entering the house she set her purse down in the laundry room, not having the energy to carry it any farther, before bending to take off one high heel at a time. Slipping back out into the hall, she made her way through the semi-dark house, hearing the sounds of Rachel giggling from the living room, telling her that the girls were not yet in bed.

A tired smile tugging at her lips, she quietly made her way in that direction, pausing to lean against the wall, watching House wrestle with Rachel on the floor in her footie pajamas, seemingly having the victory at present as she sat on his chest with a leg to each side of him, her arms around his neck, giggling as he retaliated by rubbing his chin against her head, messing up her hair as he feigned to fight the hold she had on him, tossing and turning from side to side but never enough to throw her off. Evie meanwhile was trying to place her bottle in his mouth from where she sat beside him, apparently interested in sharing despite how House grimaced when formula actually left the nipple, dribbling down his cheek. Turning his head in Evie's direction to nudge the bottle away from his face while also wiping his cheek on his shirt, he grunted before surrendering his defeat with, "You win, you win. Daddy gives up."

Rachel giggled and sat back upright but then fell to the side, off of him. Using her hand to push her hair out of her face and eyes, she then caught sight of Cuddy, gasping before jerking about to right herself so that she could run to her, throwing herself in Cuddy's arms as she bent down to catch her with a happy, "Mommy!"

House carefully sat up and turned around, taking the bottle from where it fell beside Evie as she lurched forward into a crawl, making for mommy as well. He watched Cuddy as she held out a hand for her, helping her to a stand when she reached her side before pulling her into her as well, pressing kisses to her chubby cheeks as well as to Rachel's.

"How are mommy's girls?" Cuddy asked in a hush, smoothing Rachel's hair before stroking her cheek.

"Hopefully ready for bed," House wryly mumbled, getting to his feet now, his eyes communicating that he certainly was.

Cuddy's eyes drank him in but then switched back to Rachel as the little girl asked hopefully, "Mommy, you read me 'Sleepy Dog'?"

"Mommy would _love_ to read you 'Sleepy Dog'," Cuddy agreed with a nod, waiting until Rachel danced away to lift Evie up, pressing her nose into the baby's neck and breathing in while Evie giggled and squirmed.

Pulling back, she asked, "Have you brushed your teeth yet?"

Rachel stole a glance at her daddy to see if he was listening but then slowly shook her head, clearly not wanting to brush them either.

Cuddy gave her a pointed look and said, "Mommy will read you a story _after _you brush your teeth. Come on. Let's go upstairs and get it over with."

House watched the three of them go and then bent down to grab Evie's abandoned bottle, carrying it into the kitchen with him before picking Cookie Monster up to take him out one last time. He'd have his answers soon enough. And some of them he'd already figured out for himself, just in observing Cuddy. Taking a deep breath of the fresh air hitting him upon stepping out on the deck, he walked to the steps, descending them before setting Cookie Monster down to take care of business, House sinking down on the steps to wait for him.

* * *

Cuddy turned off the light and whispered, "Good night, Rachel. Mommy loves you," receiving an extremely sweet "Love you mommy," before she turned to head downstairs, Evie already asleep in her arms. Rachel obviously wasn't out yet but she soon would be and Cuddy wanted to talk to House before he tried to get out of it.

Laying Evie down in her crib a moment later, she tucked the blanket about her, switched on the monitor, and then turned on the nightlight before hitting the overhead lights off, slipping out of her room and shutting the door behind her.

Sighing, her shoulders rose and fell before she headed towards House's open door, thankful she didn't have to guess whether he was awake or not and concluding he was okay with talking since light was still spilling out into the hallway from his room.

Pausing in his doorway, she watched him for a second before he looked up from where he sat reading a medical journal, setting it aside and removing his reading glasses upon seeing her there.

"Can I come in?" she asked solemnly.

House nodded, yawning before sitting more upright on his bed.

Cuddy pursed her lips but then went towards him, sinking down on the bed before him so that she could talk to him face to face, her hands playing with the material of his comforter.

"I… didn't tell them what really happened," she admitted, her eyes meeting his before dropping to the bed.

"I know," he replied easily.

"I wanted to, House," she added, emotion clogging her throat as she met his gaze again.

He gave her a lopsided half-smile but said, "I know you did. Just like I knew you wouldn't."

Cuddy swallowed hard but House didn't give her time to form a response. "Believe it or not, I _have _noticed how hard you've been trying to respect my wishes these past couple months, Cuddy. I told you I didn't want them to know. So of course you didn't tell them. I don't blame you for that. I'm glad you didn't."

Cuddy sucked in a deep breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. Looking for a way to regain composure, she finally asked, "How did you find out?"

He didn't have to ask her what she was referring to. Rolling his eyes, he then gave her a pointed look and dryly said, "Between how withdrawn you were last night and Wilson's stolen glances in your direction, as if he was waiting for you to stroke or something equally melodramatic, it was obvious_ something _was up. Once we came home and you went upstairs with the girls, I doubled back next door to find out what."

"And Erika told you," Cuddy filled in.

"To be fair, she didn't have much choice," House explained.

Cuddy sighed, glancing down before shrugging. "Probably not," she acquiesced quietly.

And then her expression drew together in confusion, her nose wrinkling as she looked back up at him. "You went back next door and left Evie here with _me?_"

House rolled his eyes, seeing where she was going. "Don't start thinking a miracle has occurred," he drolly mumbled. "You didn't even know I was gone and it wasn't for that long a stretch."

Cuddy pursed her lips, still thinking it counted for _something_, but then shook the thought away to return to later when she was alone.

"Why didn't you say something?" she asked after a moment's pause, meeting his eyes once more.

House looked away, pursing his lips, but then replied, "It was your decision and you didn't seem to want to talk to me about it."

"But if it was _my _decision, how do you explain what you did today?" she instantly responded with traces of irritation now in her tone.

"It was _your _decision to tell them and not to talk to me about it first. But once I was in the know, I had every right to make _my own _decision about what _I _was going to do about it. And as much as I did consider letting you do what you wanted without any interference on my part… I couldn't let you pay that cost Cuddy. It wasn't in your best interest, or anyone else's."

And now with both her anger and sorrow on full display, she wiped away the first tears to descend her cheeks while chokingly forcing out, "You turned around all the facts and made me your _victim_. You gave them more reasons to think less of you and…"

"Cuddy, I don't _care_ what they think about me," he interrupted. "I don't even work there anymore. What they think of me doesn't affect me at all," House muttered in a tone that indicated he thought she was being ridiculous before it softened slightly around the edges while pointedly saying, "But _you_ do. You care what they think of you. You pretend you don't, but you _always _have. It's actually quite an irritating trait, but it's not like I can change that about you."

"House," Cuddy murmured, annoyed now on top of everything else with how cavalier he was being.

But he picked back up before she could say anything more. "Anyway, I didn't have the time to come up with something more creative."

Cuddy sighed wearily, wiping more tears away before her expression fell. "So now you're going to hold _this _against me, on top of everything else?"

"_What?_" he asked, dumbfounded at how she'd come up with that crazy idea. "Would you _relax? _I'm not going to hold this _against you_. It was _my _decision to cover up your lie with one of my own. Sheesh! If it makes you feel better, consider us even," he muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Even," she repeated skeptically, looking at him through narrowed eyes, clearly not seeing how there was any chance of that being possible and questioning it.

House shrugged a shoulder and looked away before meeting her eyes, a rueful smile touching on his lips. "Yeah. You perjured yourself to save me from ten years of prison time. I… lied to your Board to save you from career suicide. Point for you. Point for me. Anyway, you know how I _hate _owing people," he finished with a shudder.

Cuddy raised an eyebrow and sniffed before she then dryly stated, "House, you could _care less_ if you owe people. Don't even _try _to tell me it keeps you awake at night."

"Oh. Yeah," House began with a frown, as if he was surprised by the truth in her declaration. "Well, in that case, you can add it to the tab _you_ are keeping on what you owe me for," he volunteered practically, the corner of his mouth rising in a half-smile.

A smile quivered on Cuddy's lips in response and then she took a breath, trying to clear away the emotion clogging her throat before moving closer to him on the bed, not wanting to talk about it anymore, burying her face in the center of his chest, her arms wrapping around him as she breathed him in and nuzzled her face against his sternum.

House sighed dramatically as if he found her behavior truly tiresome but Cuddy laughed throatily into his chest when he contradicted that by his arms nevertheless coming up to surround her.

"I'm telling my sister _the truth_ this weekend," she mumbled into his chest. "No subterfuge. No trying to take the blame for me."

"Fine, whatever," he drolly agreed without argument.

"Can we be done now?" he whined a couple minutes later, when she still hadn't released him. "I'm hungry and I think you owe me a late night snack."

Cuddy laughed but released him, needing a few minutes to pull herself together anyway, turning to climb off his bed to go see what they had in the fridge, her own stomach growling now that he'd mentioned food.

She'd only made it to the door when he said slyly, "You never did compliment me on how nice I clean up."

Cuddy paused, biting her lip to try and suppress the smile tugging at her mouth. Turning back to him, she raised an eyebrow and then headed back for the bed, carefully climbing back up before crawling towards him to be back beside him once more. "The suit and tie were a nice touch but I prefer you like this," she admitted quietly, one hand coming up from her side where she sat up on her knees beside him to smooth over his t-shirt.

"And the hair?" he questioned, a cheeky grin on his face as he pretended to toss it.

She laughed almost huskily, partly due to her tears from a moment before, but then met his eyes before bringing her hand up from his chest to rake her nails against the nape of his neck. "The haircut isn't you at all," she wryly murmured. "It takes away from your bad boy image. _Definitely_ needs to grow out again. But at least you didn't shave. No one would have recognized you today if you had."

He pretended to think it over but then pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes before stating pensively, "I don't know about the hair though. I kinda think the ladies on the Board dug me like this. Especially that sex-starved, cranky one."

"_I _dig you," Cuddy mumbled, her other hand coming up to rest against the side of his face. "And that _better_ be all that matters to you," she warned as her eyelids fluttered and her mouth descended, her lips parting with every intention of catching his.

House had known from the moment she'd gotten back on the bed that the kiss was coming. But somehow he'd been convinced it would be just like the other kisses she'd given him, chaste and over before they began with the exception of the kiss he'd asked her for the week before. In that moment as her lips descended upon his, he'd seen no reason to try and stop it from happening. Being kissed, well, it was… _nice. _And it was something that rarely happened because he didn't _allow_ it to happen. Unless you counted kisses from little girls under three years of age. _That _had been on the rise. But somehow he didn't quite think people would consider that as counting. Not in the same category as this kind of kiss anyway. And so he decided to just let the kiss happen, not stopping it but not intending to return it either.

Indeed, as her lips came into contact with his, her bottom lip settling between his, he smiled, his eyes upon her face even as her eyes met his briefly before closing completely, her mouth applying a slight pressure. Cuddy intended it to be a feather-light kiss and nothing more as they hadn't yet discussed whether he was willing to continue attempting kisses to see what happened. It was supposed to be a simple, uncomplicated kiss of gratitude resembling the kiss she'd given him the day Evie had first called her mama, despite what she'd said before kissing him and how very much she did in fact _want_ to kiss him with everything she had. But as her lips rested against his, suddenly that didn't seem like nearly enough, not after all this time and not after what he'd done today. So she pulled back from him, separating their lips only to return them to his, her nose now falling to the left of his as she changed the position of her head, testing out different angles. This kiss was just as soft as the first and with the same amount of pressure applied, but as she drew back she brought his top lip with hers slightly, indulging in the feel of his lips against hers even as she enjoyed the sensation of his scruff against the smooth skin right above her upper lip.

"Cuddy," House mumbled uncertainly, knowing this could only go so far.

But she shushed him, her eyes remaining closed as she then murmured a centimeter from his lips, her warm breath caressing his mouth, "We need the practice, House. Come on. Just give me a moment more," before bringing her lips back in to recapture his a third time.

Her nails raked through his hair almost simultaneously, scratching his scalp lightly, and the sensation was such a welcome one that his own eyes drifted shut as he leaned into her touch even as she kissed him a fourth time, this kiss lingering even longer, the pressure just gradually increasing now. Her arms slowly wrapped around his neck, her lips growing more firm against his as she sighed, welcoming him to the kiss as he responded this time, his lips parting slightly in meeting hers. And now, now she was kissing him, _really _kissing him, the tempo increasing as her breathing changed and heartbeat sped up and he was so hungry for a taste of what could have been, so hungry for her and what she was offering, that without a second thought, without questioning what he was doing, he kissed her right back with equal urgency, turning his head slightly to better capture her lips, causing her to whimper in anticipation and desire as his eyes remained shut, both of them taking advantage of the moment and neither of them worrying about how this would end or where it could really go. His arms came up around her then, his hands resting directly under her shoulder blades, holding her against him after she readjusted herself so that she was straddling him, one knee on each side of his thighs, her head slightly above his so that he had to lean back against the pillows and headboard of his bed to continue kissing her, accepting and reciprocating the feeling their kiss expressed, just enjoying their _experiment_.

* * *

"_**Remember those walls I built  
Well, baby they're tumbling down  
And they didn't even put up a fight  
They didn't even make up a sound**_

**_I found a way to let you in_**  
**_But I never really had a doubt_**  
**_Standing in the light of your halo_**  
**_I got my angel now_**

**_It's like I've been awakened_**  
**_Every rule I had you breakin'_**  
**_It's the risk that I'm takin'_**  
**_I ain't never gonna shut you out_**

**_Everywhere I'm looking now_**  
**_I'm surrounded by your embrace_**  
**_Baby I can see your halo_**  
**_You know you're my saving grace_**

**_You're everything I need and more_**  
**_It's written all over your face_**  
**_Baby I can feel your halo_**  
**_Pray it won't fade away_**

**_I can feel your halo halo halo_**  
**_I can see your halo halo halo_**  
**_I can feel your halo halo halo_**  
**_I can see your halo halo halo_**

**_Hit me like a ray of sun_**  
**_Burning through my darkest night_**  
**_You're the only one that I want_**  
**_Think I'm addicted to your light_**

**_I swore I'd never fall again_**  
**_But this don't even feel like falling_**  
**_Gravity can't forget_**  
**_To pull me back to the ground again_**

**_Feels like I've been awakened_**  
**_Every rule I had you breakin'_**  
**_The risk that I'm takin'_**  
**_I'm never gonna shut you out_**

**_Everywhere I'm looking now_**  
**_I'm surrounded by your embrace_**  
**_Baby I can see your halo_**  
**_You know you're my saving grace_**

**_You're everything I need and more_**  
**_It's written all over your face_**  
**_Baby I can feel your halo_**  
**_Pray it won't fade away_**

**_I can feel your halo halo halo_**  
**_I can see your halo halo halo_**  
**_I can feel your halo halo halo_**  
**_I can see your halo halo halo_**

**_I can feel your halo halo halo_**  
**_I can see your halo halo halo_**  
**_I can feel your halo halo halo_**  
**_I can see your halo halo halo_**  
**_Halo, halo_**

**_Everywhere I'm looking now_**  
**_I'm surrounded by your embrace_**  
**_Baby I can see your halo_**  
**_You know you're my saving grace_**

**_You're everything I need and more_**  
**_It's written all over your face_**  
**_Baby I can feel your halo_**  
**_Pray it won't fade away_**

**_I can feel your halo halo halo_**  
**_I can see your halo halo halo_**  
**_I can feel your halo halo halo_**  
**_I can see your halo halo halo_**

**_I can feel your halo halo halo_**  
**_I can see your halo halo halo_**  
**_I can feel your halo halo halo_**  
**_I can see your halo halo halo"_**

* * *

Song: "Halo" (Beyonce)


	103. No One

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Just a short little chapter this time. __I'm still too exhausted from Halo to offer you much more than that! Thanks though for all the reviews! I'm so glad almost everyone was satisfied with the twists and turns contained within the last chapter. And I'm looking forward to the chapter to come!)_

* * *

"Me not tired," a little voice suddenly broke through the haze around House and Cuddy.

Cuddy pulled back from him instantly as he released his hold on her, the two of them staring at each other, Cuddy trying to get her breathing back in check as Rachel ran over to the bed, standing beside them and looking up to ask interestedly, "Whatcha doin', mommy and daddy?"

"_Terrible timing,_" Cuddy lamented under her breath, her head falling forward at the interruption before she resignedly mumbled, "Rachel, you're supposed to be in bed and _asleep_," even as she moved back so as _not _to be straddling House with their oldest daughter present.

"But me not tired," Rachel pouted, rubbing her eyes at the same time as she yawned, contradicting her words. "Me hungry. Want some chocolate ice cream. And a cookie."

The fog that House himself had been in now having cleared, his eyes narrowed before he asked Rachel, "How did you open the gate?"

"Me pushed da button mommy always pushes," she told him proudly, her little chest puffing out as she stood straighter.

Cuddy's eyes widened before she sighed, now having one more thing to worry about.

Rachel giggled then and House raised an eyebrow as she was looking at him, covering her little mouth with one hand.

"What's so funny?" he asked dryly.

"You's got mommy's lipstick on, daddy! You's _pretty!_" Rachel announced, causing Cuddy to laugh at the look of horror to cross his expression upon hearing that declaration.

House quickly scrubbed his mouth with a hand which prompted Cuddy to lean back towards him, swatting him, her brow furrowed as she eyed him sternly.

"Don't wipe my kiss away," she protested, her eyes shining with the smile she was still successfully biting back.

"_I'm not_," he defended, giving her a disgruntled glare and rubbing his arm now. "But I'm not going to walk around with lipstick on my face either."

"It's a good color for you," Cuddy couldn't help but tease in response before she bit her lip again, flashing him a cutesy smile, House giving her a skeptical look before returning his attention to Rachel, shaking his head.

"Can I have a cookie? Or ice cream?" she asked sweetly, rocking back and forth on her feet, one of her hands holding onto Baby G's leg where she dangled upside down at Rachel's side, her head occasionally bumping the floor.

Cuddy closed her eyes, lifting a hand to rub her face, but then contested, "No. It's time for bed, Rachel. It's too late to have dessert now. Come on. Back upstairs."

But House swung his legs off the bed once Cuddy was upright, reaching for Rachel. "I've got her. _You _have other responsibilities in the kitchen right now," he pointedly remarked.

Cuddy gave him as close to a dirty look as she could manage in that moment at the reminder she was supposed to be fixing him something to eat when she was still so distracted by his well-kissed lips, but then shook her hair out behind her before turning, a hand motioning backwards over her shoulder in his direction as she dryly said, "Fine. And while you are up there, try and figure out what we're going to do about the gate."

House chuckled under his breath before scooping Rachel up, making her giggle as he rubbed his nose against her collarbone, telling himself it was for the best that Rachel had come when she had.

* * *

House entered the kitchen ten minutes later, sniffing the air before he caught sight of the Reuben sandwich Cuddy was in the process of making him. Cuddy rolled her eyes at the look of approval he shot her way before pushing the bowl she'd filled with potato chips slightly across the counter in his direction.

"Is she sleeping?" she asked him then.

House nodded, walking over and grabbing a potato chip from the bowl.

"What about the gate?" she inquired next.

House shrugged. "I can't imagine she has the strength required to press that button down. I think it just must not have locked all the way when you came downstairs."

"House," Cuddy drew out, not wanting to take any chances.

"Relax, mama bear," he dryly replied, giving her a look. "Just in case, I replaced the gate with another one I had on standby so we should be good to go. Let me know if you need help opening it tonight," he added tauntingly.

Cuddy gave him another dirty look but it melted when he came to stand beside her, eating potato chips while he eyed the Reuben.

"You didn't put pickles in it, did you?" he suspiciously inquired.

"House, you don't even keep pickles in the house," she replied dryly, looking back up at him.

"You can never be too careful about contamination," he seriously informed her.

"Take the chips to the table and get something out of the fridge to drink," Cuddy ordered him, shaking her head.

House smirked a bit at her professed annoyance with him but grabbed the bowl of chips, carrying it to the table before retrieving a Coke from the fridge. "What are you going to have?" he asked then.

Cuddy glanced his way while thinking it over before she queried, "Do we still have iced tea?"

"Yep," he responded, heading then for the cupboards to retrieve a glass for her, filling it with iced tea a minute later. "But what are you going to _eat?_"

"I think I'll just make myself a salad," she replied with a shrug.

"Cuddy," he sternly said. "I doubt you've eaten anything all day. You can't just eat rabbit food. You have to eat something _substantial_."

Cuddy turned to look at him while rolling her eyes but House had already turned back to the fridge, rummaging about within.

"House, it's late," she argued, thinking even to her own ears she sounded whiny.

"It's not _that _late. It's only 9:30," he reassured, piling vegetables out on the countertop before heading to the pantry.

"_9:45_," she countered with a frown.

"Cuddy, you're going to eat something decent. Now shut up and make me my Reuben, would you?" House commanded audaciously.

As if in support of House's pronouncement, her stomach growled so audibly she couldn't meet his eyes. But when he laughed at her under his breath, her eyes narrowed and she looked at him, sticking her tongue out childishly.

"Real mature," he muttered, shaking his head but receiving a smile for his response.

Within thirty minutes they were at the table, House halfway through his Reuben and Cuddy across from him with a plate of steaming vegetarian curry before her that she wasn't sure how he'd managed to prepare in the short time span in which it had taken him, much less come up with all the ingredients for.

"When do we leave for your sister's?" House asked casually, trying to pretend he was oblivious to just how much she was enjoying her curry. And she _was _enjoying it.

Cuddy set her fork down and swallowed, almost cringing. Moistening her lips she said, "My mom said the 4th."

The corner of House's mouth rose before he called her on what he knew she had decided, "So you're thinking we'll leave Monday morning and come back Tuesday? Just a quick trip. You don't want to spend the whole weekend with them, which hey, is fine by me, but the general plan is that you'll just drop the bomb and leave the next day?"

She met his eyes but then returned her attention to her plate, picking her fork up once again, "Pretty much," she murmured wryly before her fork entered her mouth with an overly large portion of curry upon it.

House watched her, slightly amused, but nodded. "Works for me," he said dismissively, shoving the last bite of his Reuben in his mouth.

He hesitated half a minute after taking a sip of his Coke before he reluctantly mumbled, "You know that Wilson will be here in the morning for a _chat._"

"I know," she replied softly, not looking up at him, just continue to eat.

House studied her to try and analyze what she was thinking. Before he could ask she looked pointedly at him, the corner of her mouth rising a centimeter. "He's _your _problem. Not mine," she declared smugly then, causing his eyebrows to shoot up. "You got yourself into this mess. You can get yourself out of it."

House scoffed in response before drolly querying, "So what? You're just going to stand at the back window watching him yell at me, wringing your hands?"

"Yes, but… without the wringing of hands," Cuddy asserted. "And I won't be at the window either."

"Uh-huh," he mumbled dubiously.

"I don't feel bad for you," she informed him seriously, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest, frowning, her expression pointed.

House pushed his chair back, getting to his feet, but as he turned away he couldn't help smiling slightly. She was such a crappy liar.

* * *

Cuddy hit the light switch in the kitchen as she followed House out, ready to go to bed, feeling just how sleep-deprived she was.

House set the alarm and then turned back, noticing she'd slipped in Evie's room to check on her before going upstairs.

He followed her example, coming to a stand beside her at the crib, watching Cuddy's expression out of the corner of his eye as she adjusted Evie's blanket, smoothing the baby's hair a second later before caressing her cheek, swallowing emotion.

Once Cuddy was satisfied she turned in his direction, hesitating only a second before reaching up to cup the far side of his jaw with her left hand, using her right to brace herself against him so that she could stand on tiptoes, pressing a soft kiss to his left cheek before stepping back and slipping out around him, from the room.

House followed her out then, his eyes on her form.

"Cuddy," he said before she could climb the stairs.

Stopping, she turned her body around enough to see him, waiting.

"It was… _nice_, kissing you tonight," he admitted then, looking away before tentatively making eye contact with her again, clearly uncomfortable with his acknowledgment.

Biting her lip did nothing to restrain the smile that lit up her face. She hadn't brought it up because… she hadn't wanted to put him on the spot or risk making too big a deal of it, but releasing her teeth's hold on her lip, she quietly said, "Good. Because I'm really hoping it's just the beginning of a long line of kisses to come."

The corner of his mouth slid up but he didn't say anything further, just watching her for a second in the dim light spilling into the hallway from the moonlight entering the entryway window near the vaulted ceiling up above.

"Night House," Cuddy softly told him then, giving him another affectionate glance as she turned and went upstairs.

"Night," he responded simply, turning to head for his own bed, the shortage of sleep finally catching up with him too and overall satisfied with how this day had went down, now that it was over.

* * *

July 2nd, 2011

Cuddy stood in the shadows at the back window, out of House's line of sight, watching Wilson pace the lawn in frustration while House just eyed him warily. He'd been smart enough to take Rachel outside with him, not that she would have let him go outside without her, the swing set holding too much appeal. Cookie Monster was also outside, alternating between chasing his tail and snapping at some kind of bug that was flying about near him. But Cuddy's attention was on Wilson; partly thankful that he wasn't angry with her like he was with House and… partly thinking she kind of owed House and should stick up for him here. Only problem was, that was the _last _thing she should do because doing so would only make matters worse. Instead she stood inside, one ear tuned for the first sign that Evie had woken up from her nap and the other straining to try and hear what Wilson was managing to restrain himself from shouting, probably because of Rachel being not too far away.

Wilson turned back to House just then, his right hand on his waist while his left hand rose, pointer finger extended at House as Wilson shook his head dramatically from side to side, a frown so deeply etched on his face that House wondered if it would stick like that. "I _told you _that the minute I saw that Cuddy meant anything to you, I'd be in your face about it."

Well, that wasn't _exactly _what Wilson had said but House didn't bother to correct him, wisely holding his tongue as Wilson turned away once more, his hand leaving his waist to join the other in the air before him as he grimaced, fingers reflexively clenching.

Turning back to him and stalking in his direction, stopping only a couple feet in front of House, Wilson snarled, "You had no business being there!"

House huffed, glancing back towards the swing set to make sure Rachel was paying them no heed. Then he stared Wilson down and self-righteously said, "I had _every _right to be there."

Wilson fiercely shook his head, his "_No_," one long, drawn-out negation, as his teeth clenched. "This situation was Cuddy's doing and she was responsible to right it!"

House just stared at him without comment, opting to choose his words carefully in hopes of defusing the situation faster.

"She was going to tell the Board the _truth,_" Wilson hissed. "And not some twisted version of it! The TRUTH!"

"And lose her job over this," House supplemented.

"If that was the price she had to pay, yes!" Wilson asserted.

"And what would that accomplish?" House probed solemnly.

"People would know the _truth!_" Wilson spit out vehemently, the veins in his forehead now standing out.

"Yeah," House agreed. "They would. You think that would make me happy? You think I _want _them knowing? You think I want them to think of me from here on out as… what? A _victim?_"

"Oh no, you're not going to get my sympathy in this, House!" Wilson declared furiously, shaking his head.

"Good," he replied, nodding, his gaze concentrated completely on his overprotective best friend. "Because frankly, I'm a little sick and tired of your sympathy Wilson. I'm sick and tired of being in a position _requiring _your sympathy."

"You're not going to manipulate me into feeling bad for you," Wilson said then, albeit in a tone somewhat mollified.

"Again, good," House said with a shrug. "I don't want you to feel bad for me."

Wilson shook his head, looking away before his mouth once more firmed. "What are you doing here, House?" he solemnly pressed then. "First you let her back into your life, then into your house. Now you're trying to protect her from the consequences of her past actions. What exactly are you doing? Cuddy needs to face what she's done head on. She doesn't need you to protect her. And why would you protect her anyway? What's going on here that I don't know about? I swallowed this situation when it was about Evie. But it's way past being about Evie now. And if you don't know that, you need to. Don't go down this road again. _Don't._"

House stared at his best friend but then nodded curtly, it being wiser to not respond to all the questions Wilson had just thrown at him, simply acknowledging his closing.

Wilson huffed out a breath, his hand returning to his waist. "I hate when you agree with me," he muttered then. "Especially when I can't trust you at all because the fact that you still love her is staring me in the face."

House broke their gaze, looking away.

"Damn it, House," Wilson grumbled, also looking away now. "Why are you always choosing the path that guarantees more misery?"

"There's nothing going on, Wilson. We're not sleeping together. It's not like that," House mumbled, glancing back at the house behind him.

"And that's supposed to reassure me?" he dryly responded, fixing his gaze back on House.

"I don't know," he said simply with a shrug.

Wilson expelled a heavy breath then, raking a hand through his hair before pointedly asking, "Are you falling in love with her?"

"I… don't have an answer for that," House finally contested honestly.

"I guess that's better than a yes but… I'm not sure I can support you if the day comes when you tell me you are."

House just nodded, not having any problem with that.

"I'm going home," Wilson mumbled then, shaking his head.

"You're not going to Erika's?" House asked in surprise, brow wrinkled.

Wilson looked back at him, his mouth pursing before he admitted, "No. We're… fighting right now."

"About what?" House asked disbelievingly.

"I'm… not very happy with her for deciding to tell you what was going on," he dismissively pronounced.

"Something was going on and both you and Cuddy were doing a _lousy _job of hiding it. You think Erika had a choice? You think I didn't… feel betrayed by your holding information from me?" House pointedly muttered.

"House…" Wilson began.

"I'm just saying…" he interrupted, "Don't mess this up, Wilson. You can't do better than her. And it's not fair to blame her for this when she didn't have the first clue what I'd end up doing about it."

Wilson sighed wearily but nodded slowly in resignation. "I'll see you later," he said then, turning to head back in the direction of his car where he'd parked it on the street.

House watched him go before turning his head in the direction of the house, one corner of his mouth rising wryly as his eyes fell on the window where he knew Cuddy was probably still watching attentively, even if he couldn't see her there. He doubted Wilson was done with this but at least it was over with for now.

Shaking his head again, he turned back in the direction of the swing set, walking that way to check on Rachel where she sat in the clubhouse, chattering away at her baby doll, clearly absorbed in her own little world. Ruffling her hair with one hand, he then tucked a lock behind one ear when her face turned towards him, giving him a bright smile. "Wanna play with us?" she asked him hopefully.

"Sure," he drolly replied, climbing the ladder carefully after glancing in Cookie Monster's direction to make sure the puppy was staying close, then lowering himself down beside her where she sat.

"Okay, we's about to have a picnic," Rachel informed him then, nodding enthusiastically.

"Great," he accepted, thinking it had to be just about lunchtime and food sounded pretty good. "I hope you brought sandwiches."

"No, just cookies," she told him with a shrug. "But maybe mommy make us sumping else to eat too."

House watched as she dug in the depths of her little pocket, actually coming up with a cookie that was mainly crumbs. Shaking his head, he nevertheless accepted a crumbled chunk in the palm of his hand when she reached out to share with him, giving him another big smile.

* * *

House looked up as Cuddy came into the living room with Evie in her arms later that day, returning his attention to the TV screen right after.

Cuddy perched beside him on her knees, staring at him, but House ignored her, his only indication he was obviously aware of her presence being how he reached out to stroke one of the baby's chubby legs.

Sighing in exasperation, she reached out and grabbed the remote from the other side of him, turning the TV off so that he'd focus on her. He'd been quiet since Wilson left but she'd accepted that. Now she had an idea and wanted to talk him into it. He'd just have to deal with the interruption.

House looked at her, one eyebrow quirked, and she smiled brightly before prompting, "Let's go out to dinner. Somewhere in Princeton. Somewhere we're practically guaranteed to run into people we know."

"Why are you smiling like that?" he asked warily, ignoring what she'd said for the moment.

Cuddy rolled her eyes but her smile only grew. "We hardly ever go out," she explained. "And when we have I've always spent the time looking over my shoulder, afraid of being caught because of my lies. I just… Regardless of how it came about and how I still feel about that, I don't have to keep Evie a secret anymore. And I want to celebrate. I want to go out in public and not worry about who will see us, see Evie… I want the four of us out on the town, living it up."

House reached for the remote but she kept it out of his reach. "Please House?" she pleaded.

He dropped his hand but raked a hand through his hair before looking at her again, his expression resigned. "Fine. But I get to pick the restaurant and you're footing the bill," he bartered.

Her smile grew exponentially but she nodded quickly, accepting the counteroffer before asking teasingly, "You going to make me spend the big bucks?"

House cringed, distastefully muttering, "Hell, no. I refuse to go _anywhere _requiring me to wear a dress shirt or tie. I'm cheap. I'd settle for Chuck E. Cheese. Heck, for that matter I won't even object to McDonalds. But if Rachel goes in those tunnels and forces _one of us_ to come in after her in order to get her out, you better know right now it'll be _you _going in so dress appropriately."

"Okay, you're _not _taking me to McDonalds," she corrected pointedly.

"No," he agreed before smugly adding, "You're taking _me_."

"Not to McDonalds, I'm not," she just as quickly negated.

House pushed himself to his feet, ignoring the last response on her part. He wasn't exactly feeling like McDonalds anyway. "You want to get the girls ready while I run over to Erika's?" he threw back over his shoulder. "I shouldn't be more than ten/fifteen minutes."

Cuddy's eyes widened but she quickly moistened her lips before replying, "Sure. We'll be ready to go when you get back."

"'Kay," he agreed, not even looking back as he left the room, Cuddy staring after him.

* * *

"Hi," Erika greeted tiredly as she opened the door and stepped aside so he could enter.

"Hey," he mumbled, waiting as she shut the door before following her in the living room where she sat down, pulling her legs up on the couch beside her.

"Trevor here?" House inquired then, glancing around as if he'd see him.

"No," she replied with a shake of her head. "He's over at a friend's house."

House nodded while Erika rubbed a hand over her face before looking at him, sighing.

"Regret telling me?" he asked in response, trying to get a read on her.

Erika contemplated the question but then shook her head. "James has to realize my loyalties are going to be divided at times. And he also needs to understand I'm not going to be without my share of flaws, real or in his head. I am also not always going to do what he wants me to, just to make him happy."

House considered that and tipped his head somewhat in agreement, a small smile tugging one corner of his mouth up.

"Are you regretting what _you _did?" she asked him pointedly, changing the subject slightly, having heard the details from Wilson while he was in the midst of his rant.

House shook his head slowly, not needing to think about it.

"You aren't worried you've just made it easier for her to take Evie and run for the hills, once she finally finds out?" Erika inquired sarcastically.

"Because a bunch of board members witnessed me taking the blame and saying I drove her out of Evie's life?" House asked, ignoring her sarcasm. "No. Not in the least. And if anything, this just makes her more likely to stick around, feeling too guilty to leave."

"So now what? She'll stay with you out of guilt?" Erika pursued, thinking his logic was screwed up in the first place to think Lisa would leave him but unable to not try and follow his line of thought, squirrely though it might be.

"Ugh," House groaned in disgust. "That would be the _last _thing to motivate me. Cuddy's guilt is… like an oozing sore. It's a pustule about to explode. I see it and run in the opposite direction, fast as I can."

"It's useful," Erika argued after a moment, not because she thought he should use it but more to delve into what he was thinking, shrugging afterwards.

"No," he negated. "That's not why I did it."

"Why did you do it?" she asked again, contemplating him.

"She… won't be happy doing anything else," he mumbled finally.

"But if you're smart enough to come up with this crazy way out, couldn't you have come up with another that didn't require you to lie and cover up for her?" Erika continued.

House just shrugged. "Maybe but this was the plan that weighed in as most likely to succeed. And the pros outweighed the cons."

"How is Lisa handling it?" she couldn't help asking, her curiosity getting to her.

"She wasn't happy with me but she'll get over it. Right now she's probably ransacking drawers and closets, looking for the _girliest_, _cutesiest_ things she can find to have the girls wear before finding something for herself to wear that _exudes _confidence. She wants to go out and… celebrate not having to hide Evie anymore," he concluded wryly. "I think she's just _hoping _we'll run into someone."

"Where _is _Evie?" Erika asked now that the baby had been mentioned, her forehead drawing together.

"With Cuddy," he said dismissively.

"_That's _interesting," she commented, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Are you going to let Wilson in the door when he decides to stop acting like an idiot?" House redirected.

"Maybe," she said, but she was smiling now.

"Are you going to be home for the 4th?" House asked next. "Any chance I can talk you into taking Monster off my hands? Cuddy has a family thing and I agreed to go. We'll be back on the 5th."

"Trevor will be delighted," she agreed wryly.

"I'll drop him off Monday morning then."

"Alright," Erika accepted, getting to her feet as he did. "Have fun tonight."

House shook his head but quipped, "Make Wilson work to get back inside your front door. It'll make it easier next time 'round."

"Thanks for the advice," she responded sardonically, opening the door for him.

House chuckled but stepped out her front door, heading for home the next minute, already switching gears and trying to determine what he was most hungry for.

* * *

Cuddy sat across from House at the Chinese restaurant he had selected, her eyes affectionately wandering across his features as he studied the menu, pretending like he didn't know she was staring at him.

Finally looking up he met the gaze of the waitress who had been patiently waiting for him to make his selection and ordered so many things that Cuddy wondered how he actually intended to eat them all.

"Leftovers," he told her then, as if she'd verbalized the question.

Cuddy shook her head but didn't reply, bending over to retrieve a coloring crayon that had rolled away from Rachel and fallen to the floor. Handing it back to her, she complemented her on her drawing, her eyes softening as she stroked back Rachel's hair, the little girl beaming up at her for her praise before Evie drew her attention, fussing in her highchair.

"She's hungry," House commented, grabbing for the diaper bag and tossing out a few fruit puffs from the container Cuddy had brought with on her tray, raising an eyebrow when the baby grabbed them with her little fist, practically shoving her whole hand in her awaiting mouth the next second.

"I guess so," Cuddy agreed with a laugh.

"Oh crap," House mumbled then, causing Cuddy's eyes to fly back to him, noting with some confusion that he was sinking deeper into his chair.

"What?" she asked worriedly.

"Looks like you got your wish," he muttered, straightening in his seat then as it seemed there would be no avoiding this. "Sort of."

"Dr. Cuddy?" a voice said doubtfully from behind her, causing her head to swivel around to see who was speaking to her.

"I _thought _that was you," the woman said, her gaze flickering back to House, nose wrinkling, before her eyes widened upon looking at the two little girls with them.

"Well, isn't _this _a delightful surprise," House sarcastically exhaled, staring at Nurse Brenda who he hadn't seen in a number of years. "Is that your whipping boy waiting for you by the door? Please, feel _free _to invite him over. I've always wondered what kind of man would be attracted to you. He is a man, isn't he?"

Brenda looked at House briefly, glaring at him, animosity rolling off of her, but then Cuddy rebuked him with, "House. _Behave_. Rachel…," and Brenda returned her eyes to Cuddy.

"Yeah, yeah. Little pitchers have big ears and all, I get it," he said dismissively, but he did fall silent then, looking at Rachel who was staring back and forth between the three of them in confusion before focusing on Evie, giving her a bite of food.

"It's nice to see you, Brenda," Cuddy said politely, directing her gaze to the woman beside her. "Last thing I heard was that you were working somewhere in Boston," she continued.

"Yes, I'm just home to visit family for the 4th," Brenda acknowledged. And then her eyes were back on the girls and she said semi-skeptically, "I had heard you'd adopted a little girl but…"

"Yes, this is Rachel," Cuddy interrupted, smiling at Rachel before turning towards Evie. "And this is our other daughter, Evie."

"She's _House's _daughter?" Brenda clarified doubtfully.

"Yes," Cuddy easily replied with a smile, tossing her hair out of her face while secretly hoping House would behave a little longer.

"Are you… are you two _married?_" Brenda inquired, doing her best to mask her shock. She… She knew she hadn't been around since 2006 but… how had she missed hearing about _this?_

"Hell no!" House began to deny, but Cuddy had clamped a hand on his leg just as he'd gotten the "hell" out, leaving his "no" somewhat strangled and incomplete, she having successfully shut him up, her grip on his leg only easing slightly, the threat still very present.

"No, we're not," Cuddy answered, keeping her smile in place as she internally asked herself what it was about people from Princeton-Plainsboro that brought this side of House so quickly to the surface.

Brenda nodded slowly, her eyes sweeping back over Evie before looking at House again. "I see fatherhood hasn't changed you any," she dryly commented.

"Nor having a whipping boy, you," he retorted just as easily.

"He's my cousin," Brenda bit out scathingly.

"Well I hope he's not your first cousin because that's just gross," House volleyed.

Brenda expelled her breath but wasn't about to waste it explaining to House that this was the only time they'd been able to fit into their schedules to see each other and glanced back at Dr. Cuddy again. "Congratulations," she told her before the slight smile fell from her lips and she clarified, "On your children. Not Dr. House still being around and in the picture."

"Thank you," Cuddy responded pleasantly. "We're very blessed."

"I should go," Brenda said then, glancing back at her cousin who was still waiting for her. "It was nice seeing you."

"It was nice to see you too, Brenda," Cuddy replied. "Have a wonderful night and enjoy your time with family."

"Thank you," Brenda responded before she scowled once more at House, not saying anything to him at all, turning to head back to her cousin.

"We're very '_blessed'?_" House echoed disdainfully, his attention directed back at Cuddy before he snorted his disbelief.

"Be quiet," she murmured in irritation, releasing his leg now that Brenda was gone.

"I thought you were going to rip out _another_ muscle in my leg," he continued, pushing her buttons for the fun of it.

Cuddy narrowed her eyes at him but the waitress came just then with all their food and her attention was diverted to moving crayons so a plate could be set down before Rachel and then into blowing on her rice so that she wouldn't burn her tongue.

House already digging in by the time Cuddy was ready to eat, she looked up at him, a small smile on her lips. "It's reassuring to know that you haven't lost your snark," she said wryly, shaking her head.

"The fun's just begun," he retorted. "_Evil_'s probably on her phone right now, calling around. Wait twenty minutes and this place will be overflowing with PPTH nurses and doctors."

Cuddy pursed her lips but mumbled dryly, "Uh-huh."

Several minutes passed of everyone eating, both Cuddy and House giving little bites to Evie when she opened her mouth like a baby bird with an "Uh, uh," rocking in her seat if they weren't quick to pay her attention. Finally Cuddy said, "Well, you have to admit this much. It could have been someone worse."

"Like who?" House demanded pointedly.

Cuddy bit her lip, thinking about it, but suggested, "Like the Head of Surgery, Dr. Thomas."

House's lip curled in response. She'd won there. He had no argument on that one.

"Anyway, I don't care if the _whole world_ turns up for my celebration," Cuddy pronounced cheerfully at that point. "Let them come."

"Please no," House dryly muttered under his breath, shaking his head. "I'm good with how it is. Just the four of us."

She glanced up, an eyebrow rising at his words, but House was busily shoveling rice into his mouth and not paying attention. Propping an elbow up on the table she set aside her fork and then just rested her head in her hand, sighing, watching him eat. "Me too," she murmured under her breath. "Me too."

* * *

"_**I just want you close  
Where you can stay forever  
You can be sure  
That it will only get better  
You and me together  
Through the days and nights  
I don't worry 'cause  
Everything is gonna be alright  
People keep talking  
They can say what they like  
But all I know is everything is gonna be alright**_

**_No one, no one, no one_**  
**_Can get in the way of what I'm feeling_**  
**_No one, no one, no one_**  
**_Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you_**  
**_Can get in the way of what I feel for you_**

**_When the rain is pouring down_**  
**_And my heart is hurting_**  
**_You will always be around_**  
**_This I know for certain_**

**_You and me together_**  
**_Through the days and nights_**  
**_I don't worry cause_**  
**_Everything's gonna be alright_**  
**_People keep talking_**  
**_They can say what they like_**  
**_But all I know is everything's gonna be alright_**

**_No one, no one, no one_**  
**_Can get in the way of what I'm feeling_**  
**_No one, no one, no one_**  
**_Can get in the way of what I feel for you, you, you_**  
**_Can get in the way of what I feel_**

**_I know some people search the world_**  
**_To find something like what we have_**  
**_I know people will try_**  
**_Try to divide_**  
**_Something so real_**  
**_So 'til the end of time_**  
**_I'm telling you there is no one_**

**_No one, no one, no one_**  
**_Can get in the way of what I'm feeling_**  
**_No one, no one, no one_**  
**_Can get in the way of what I feel for you_**  
**_Oh oh oh oh oh..._**  
**_Oh oh oh oh oh..._**  
**_Oh oh oh...oh, oh, oh, oh, oh_**  
**_Oh oh oh oh oh..._**  
**_Oh oh oh oh oh..._**  
**_Oh oh oh...oh, oh, oh, oh, oh_**  
**_No one, no one, no one_**  
**_Can get in the way of what I'm feeling_**  
**_No one, no one, no one_**  
**_Can get in the way of what I feel for you"_**

* * *

Song: "No One" (Alicia Keys)


	104. Follow Through

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I get that I kind of invite it in the fact that I touch on contraversial topics all over the place in this story but... try to cut me some slack in your reviews this time round. :) I just like to get people thinking and challenge you a bit. Hope you're ready for another chapter! :) And that you enjoy it! Thank you for all the encouragement you've sent my way since I've picked back up with this adventure in Huddy!)_

* * *

"Why do you even care what she's going to think?" House asked Cuddy, an eyebrow raised, staring at how her hands were clenching the steering wheel, knuckles turning white the closer they got. "You hardly ever talk," he added pointedly, "let alone see one another. It's not like you are best of friends."

"I don't care what she thinks," Cuddy denied, shaking her head. But they both knew she was lying.

House responded with a snort but said nothing more, looking over his shoulder into the backseat to check on the girls, Evie out cold and Rachel looking at a book, talking to herself under her breath, apparently telling herself a story to go with the pictures.

Cuddy moistened her lips, staring out the windshield, but then stole a glance at him before murmuring, "I don't know. She's still my sister. And it wasn't always like this between us."

House turned his head to look at her waiting for her to continue and she sighed before explaining, "We were close. Competitive, but close. At least that was what I thought. What do I know? I have nothing to compare it to. Maybe what I interpreted as close was simply what it's like when you have only one sibling who you do everything with while growing up. But maybe you do everything with her because she's the only one you have. If you have no other options… maybe that's just how it is. I really don't know. Anyway, then college happened and things just changed between us. And I guess what worries me the most isn't just springing a daughter she knows nothing about, upon her. That… hardly seems like a big deal at all compared to… the issues she's going to have with me due to _everything else._ In comparison to Julia, I'm _fiercely _liberal, House. She's traditional and… ultraconservative. I used to love getting in political debates with her because she was a great sparring partner. And she wasn't intimidated by me like… the majority of the girls I'd spent any amount of time with during high school or college. But the minute any conversation comes anywhere near women's rights or… abortion, she either flips out or goes AWOL. Everything I _did_ during my pregnancy and afterwards… She's already on the other side of the fence, House. This is _not _going to help us. It'll… just be one more thing dividing us. I wish it wasn't that way. I really do. But that's just… how it is."

Silence descended upon them and it was several minutes before House spoke up. "I don't mind telling her what I told the Board, Cuddy," he said quietly, looking out of his window, his eyebrows drawn together.

Cuddy's head turned sharply in his direction in surprise before she returned it to the road. "_No, House_," she quickly disagreed.

"Cuddy, I get that your parents know the truth but I doubt they will tell her if we don't and if we're never going to see Julia _anyway… _I'm the one who's going to care less about what your sister thinks," he concluded, his words falling away.

Cuddy looked back in his direction, a hand leaving the steering wheel to touch his arm. "I appreciate the offer, House. But I _want _the truth to be out. I'm not looking to deceive her. And the _last thing _I want is for her to think of you as… you're willing to allow the Board to."

"But I'd probably score points with your dad," House threw out, waggling his eyebrows to relieve some of the tension he could still see in the way she was holding herself.

Cuddy gave him a half-smile, rolling her eyes. "_Please. _I'mmore annoyed by the way my dad acts around you than you are. Anyway, I'll survive this trip. It's only a couple of days. It just might not be all that fun. In fact, it won't be. But Mom and dad will be there. That should help. And I swear I have no intention of getting in a fight with her but… sometimes I can't help myself. And since this is centering around me and my choices, I'm… maybe going to react out of defensiveness. If we do start yelling… you might get stuck taking the girls out of the room. If things go really bad. I… Well, things have been hard enough on them lately, right?"

House sobered but nodded his understanding. Pursing his lips, he finally mumbled, "I'm here if you need me, Cuddy."

Releasing a deep breath before giving him a smile, she cheerfully announced, "_I know_. And just to make sure you would have no way to escape me, I booked one hotel room for the four of us with two double beds instead of two completely separate rooms."

"As long as the bathroom door locks I think I'll survive it," he muttered a second later, his mouth twitching slightly.

"_That_ is _NOT funny, House,_" she grumbled, narrowing her eyes at him.

"I kinda think it is," he replied, a small smirk touching on his lips now.

"You're seriously going to joke about that day?" she asked dubiously before practically whispering in a pained tone, "I think it was one of the _worst_ days of my life. Finding out what I'd done to you… Finally understanding…"

But House cut her off before she could finish, able to treat it cavalierly but not to actually speak seriously of it. "How about we swing by the hotel and drop off our stuff before going over? Evie's gonna need a diaper change anyway. And probably a wipe down too, given how she's somehow managed to get those fruit puffs in every crevice of her neck _rather _than in her mouth."

Cuddy sucked in a breath, looking concernedly at him, worried she'd upset him in what she'd said.

House was aware of this and his mouth twitched before he added, "Besides, I wanna know what's on TV tonight. And the pool's open hours. Since I have no clubhouse to retreat to thanks to you, I'd like to have excuses at the ready if your family _bores me to death_. Evie might hate fireworks anyway. Or she might _conveniently _hate them," he concluded, once more wiggling his eyebrows dramatically. "I might have no choice but to take her back to the hotel."

Cuddy shook her head disapprovingly, mumbling, "You are not leaving me there with them _overnight_," but he didn't miss the small smile playing on her lips that she was trying to hide. Hesitating just a moment he frowned as he thought over something but then he slowly moved his hand off his knee, turning it palm up when it was directly between them, looking once more out the window as if he was really interested in the landscape.

Cuddy glanced down at his hand, her smile growing, and sighed in response, letting some more of the tension melt from her shoulders before letting her hand slide from the steering wheel, placing it within his and interlacing their fingers wordlessly as if she was no more aware of his sweet gesture than he was.

* * *

Cuddy had taken forever in the bathroom before she'd finally announced she was ready to go but House had waited patiently, distracting Rachel while giving Evie a bottle, not about to rush her when this night just might be unpleasant for _all _of them. And it had been while watching her touch up her lipstick, her eyes catching his in the mirror and giving him a playful wink before smiling and looking away shyly, that he'd _known_. After this dreadful night came to a close he would tell her. Because… he knew what living through one's personal hell felt like. He knew what it was like to have your demons reappear to haunt you. And he knew all about shame. He'd been there. Somehow he knew he could make this night end on a better note for her if he… was willing to risk taking a chance. On her. _Another _chance.

"Do you think she's warm enough?" Cuddy worriedly asked, looking at the baby and missing how waylaid he'd been by his own thoughts. "Maybe we should pack some blankets in the diaper bag in case the weather turns cool. Or maybe I should change her outfit."

"Cuddy," House mumbled, snapping out of his thoughts to meet her gaze when her eyes stopped sweeping the hotel room anxiously to fix upon his. "Evie's great. She's good to go. You wanted her in this dress. And I know it's your personal favorite. So just relax. You already put a blanket in her diaper bag and she's not going to get cold anyway. You're not forgetting anything. You're not going to come across as inept to anyone but yourself either. And if you'd calm down a little, you'd feel a whole lot better about this."

It was almost irksome how well he was able to read her. "I doubt it," she mumbled though, shaking her head before her eyes shifted to Rachel, analyzing her outfit now.

"Let's go, Rachel," House quickly spoke up, not wanting to give Cuddy any more time to stress than she was already going to.

Cuddy huffed out a breath but nodded, reaching for Rachel's hand.

"Mommy, me hungry. We going to see gramma and grampa now? We going to picnic?" Rachel asked, peering up at her through the hair that had fallen over her eyes.

"Yes. And we're going to see Aunt Julia and Uncle Steve and your cousins too," Cuddy added. "You were just a baby last time we saw them."

Rachel frowned in concentration, not able to remember yet clearly trying, and House shook his head at her attempts. He was betting the last time Cuddy and her sister's family had been together was at Rachel's first birthday party. He remembered Julia and Steve being present but had no clue which kids at the party had been theirs. He'd… been too distracted, observing the woman he loved but couldn't have. He'd only known who Steve was because of a picture he'd seen on Cuddy's computer one time when he was messing around in her office, the giveaway being Julia's presence at his side. Julia he'd met, though that had been over twenty years ago now and the picture and then seeing her at the party had been enough to tell him she'd changed a bit over the years, at least in looks, attractive but… not like Cuddy was. Not hardly.

Readjusting Evie in his arms he grabbed the diaper bag, placing it on his shoulder. Cuddy held the door open for him, reaching out to brush Evie's curls to the side with a finger before giving him a hesitant smile and following him with Rachel at her side. Looking back fretfully down the hallway behind them towards their hotel room as they walked away, she hoped against all hope that things would go… smoother than she imagined they would. Either way, she knew she'd be only too glad to return to the hotel room tonight and maybe that was enough of a reward for the inescapable hell she might soon go through and would have to survive anyhow. No, it definitely was. Something about knowing House would be _at least_ as close as the next bed over made surviving more than worth it. With that in mind she raised her chin a little and stuck her free hand out to light upon House's upper arm, her eyes on Evie when he glanced back at her curiously.

* * *

"This is it?" House asked interestedly, staring out the window at the house she'd parked in front of before looking at her only to find she hadn't yet released the steering wheel.

"Yeah," he egged her on enthusiastically, rubbing his hands together with overdone glee. "Just _gun it_ and we'll be out of here! No judgmental sisters! No overbearing fathers! Just you, me and the girls. Nothing but the wide blue sky stretching for miles out in front of us!"

Cuddy turned her head towards him, pursing her lips as she stared him down as he just grinned ironically at her. But then her hands dropped from the steering wheel, her right turning the engine off, clearly not amused but no longer considering driving away without going inside either. No, she was going to do this. And she was going to prove to herself at least at _some point _tonight that she was still the Lisa Cuddy she used to be, hard-core and defiant before any opposition.

"We're here!" House called then into the backseat since Cuddy hadn't taken him up on his brilliant idea, turning his head to meet Rachel and Evie's gazes.

"Gramma! Grampa!" Rachel called out, tugging at the straps of her car seat, Evie rocking back and forth as much as she could in her own car seat, absorbing her older sister's excitement and quickly demonstrating it too.

House climbed out, opening the backdoor to unbuckle the girls, helping Rachel out first before lifting Evie out as well. Sticking his head back in to grab the diaper bag he looked at Cuddy where she still sat in the front seat and asked quizzically, "You coming?"

Cuddy closed her eyes and exhaled heavily but then jerked her head in the affirmative, reaching for her door handle to climb out.

Rachel was jumping up and down on the sidewalk but she took Cuddy's proffered hand when her mommy stepped up from the street. Cuddy thought about taking Evie from House but ended up opting to leave her safely in his arms for the present. Walking up the sidewalk with Rachel, House and Evie behind her, she glanced back at him, worrying her lip before forcing herself to push the doorbell when she and Rachel were on the stoop.

"Relax," House mumbled semi-soothingly to her.

In response, she drew in another big breath and braced herself, waiting for the door to open, hearing footsteps as someone approached. It was just after eleven. That meant she could leave in just over twelve hours.

And then her sister was in front of her, a welcoming smile on her face, eyes flicking from Cuddy to Rachel at her side. "Rachel, look how big you are! I haven't seen you in forever! My, I just can't believe it!"

Switching her gaze to Cuddy, she said sweetly, "Lisa, it's been way too long! I don't know what's been keeping you so busy at work that you haven't had time in the last two years to visit but I'm so glad you were able to…"

And then she caught sight of House behind Cuddy and Julia hesitated in the middle of leaning in to hug her sister. "Greg House?" she asked incredulously, not certain she could trust her own eyes. She'd known he was working at PPTH but to see him now before her…

Glancing back at her sister she gave her a look of astonishment before her gaze shifted back to House. And just in that moment Cuddy shifted to shoot a look at House as well, bringing Evie into her line of sight when up to this point, Cuddy had unknowingly been in the way, House not having stepped up on the front stoop yet, the baby in the crook of his left arm.

Julia stared at the baby in House's arms as if the rest of them had ceased to exist and then she took a few awkward, floundering steps back, looking horrorstruck, before she covered her mouth with an obviously trembling hand, her eyes going to Cuddy for the briefest of moments before she turned jerkily about, racing up the stairs behind her, a door on the second floor shutting not thirty seconds later.

House watched her go in astonishment but then mumbled, "I think that went well, don't you?" to Cuddy under his breath.

Her only response was a strangled sigh, not having expected that particular reaction and having even less of a clue regarding how to handle it. Where _were _her parents?

"Let's go inside, Rachel," she said quietly then, not looking back at House as she entered, heading for the living room and leaving House to pull the door closed behind them.

"Jules, do you know where my steak spices are?" Steve's voice came to them from the back of the house, just before he came into their line of sight, wearing an apron, a couple spatulas in one hand.

"Oh hey Lisa…" he began before his words died away, his smile of greeting morphing into surprise at House being behind her and then into staring much as Julia had in seeing Evie in his arms, though more in confusion than anything.

"Hey Steve," Cuddy said tentatively, biting her lip before glancing back at House and Evie, then returning her eyes to her brother-in-law.

"She's yours?" he mumbled in little more than a whisper. But the question became more of a statement as he shook himself from his trance. "Where's Julia?" he asked then, looking about, a deep frown setting in his face.

"She went upstairs," Cuddy managed to reply.

Steve took off in that direction, spatulas still in hand, but came to a sudden stop to turn back around and clearly tense now, met Cuddy's eyes, shaking his head as he bit out, "You should have told us. You should have _at least _told_ her_. Not just… dropped this upon her like you did. Without any time to prepare herself."

And then he was rounding the corner, his feet pounding up the staircase as he anxiously called his wife's name.

Cuddy's eyes met House's and he could see the tremble of her lip as Rachel looked back and forth between the two of them worriedly, whining after a second, "_Where's gramma?_"

House was going to quip something about how she clearly had had nothing to worry about and how her relatives gave him the warm and fuzzies but he could tell now wasn't the time for jokes and had enough sense to abstain this time. Heading for her, he sighed before passing Evie into her arms, one hand taking Rachel's hand while his other settled between Cuddy's shoulder blades as he mumbled, "Let's go find grandma," to Rachel, gently prodding Cuddy into action.

"You made it!" Evelyn announced brightly, not having expected them for another half hour, turning towards them in hearing the door open onto the patio and getting to her feet with the intention of sweeping Evie out of Cuddy's arms, after first hugging Rachel. But she'd only taken a step when she remembered the circumstances and came to a standstill, frowning. "What's wrong?" she quickly asked, reading their expressions as best she could. "What did Julia say?"

"She didn't say much of anything," Cuddy managed, shaking her head before her eyes went to her dad who had taken a couple steps in their direction. "She saw Evie and the next thing I knew she was halfway up the staircase."

House met Richard's gaze before the man looked away and House watched him processing that piece of news before his head came back up suddenly, awareness written across his expression, dismay quickly replacing it, followed by guilt.

"What?" House asked him dryly, ignoring Cuddy and Evelyn who were talking quietly behind him about what they should all do now, Rachel on Evelyn's hip.

"Nothing," Cuddy's dad mumbled under his breath, shaking his head.

But House could tell it was _something_.

"I just wasn't thinking," Richard huffed.

And that was all it took. Like puzzle pieces coming together, House made a composite of Julia's reaction, Steve's anger and protectiveness, Richard's guilt, Cuddy's statements in the car, her tone making it seem like perhaps Julia hadn't _always _been ultraconservative and… it was there before him. He knew. He was positive he did. He didn't know the details or how it was both Cuddy and Evelyn were oblivious but Richard clearly _wasn't _and now neither was he.

"You _idiot,_" he grumbled at Richard, battling between irritation in finding there were _more issues _than just Cuddy's (and his own) that they'd been unwittingly and unexpectedly brought into the middle of, and resignation, because at this point, what could be done about it? Richard should have… figured this would happen or told Cuddy to tell her _before _they came, rather than waiting. Therein the blame was Richard's and House was not about to mask his frustration now. He'd totally messed up. What an idiot.

Richard met his gaze, first taken aback at the insult, then angry, but quickly ending with shock in House obviously having more or less figured it out without anyone having to tell him what was going on.

The backdoor opened before he could respond and everyone turned their heads in the direction of the house as two teenage boys with shaggy hair came out in t-shirts and shorts, one carrying a basketball under his arm. This was why House didn't remember them, he realized then, switching gears upon new information. He was thinking little kids but Julia had started her family years before Cuddy had. Despite being younger, her two boys had to be about thirteen and fifteen respectively, given their bone density and developmental markers. He hadn't seen them at Rachel's birthday party because they hadn't been there for whatever reason. That left the question of before or after. But it had to be before. That was the only thing that made sense. That was why Cuddy was in the dark, Evelyn with her.

"Aunt Lisa, hi," the older of the two boys greeted, heading towards her to give her a hug, his brother throwing aside the ball he was carrying to follow his brother's example, clearly the shyer one of the two.

House reached for Evie, taking her from Cuddy so that her arms were free, watching silently as the boys stepped around their grandma, obviously having seen her earlier in the day at the very least, and approached their aunt. Cuddy embraced each in turn, looking at them in amazement.

"Jared, Tyler, you've both grown! You're practically men now! When did that happen? You're grown up!" she exclaimed, clearly surprised.

"It's been a long time," Jared said with a shrug, giving her a wide smile.

But Tyler, the younger of the two, had stepped past his brother who was still at Cuddy's side and was looking from Rachel to House to Evie, who he had spotted with his aunt even if his brother hadn't. "Aunt Lisa, mom never told us you had a baby," he said in confusion, looking back at her, the brackets of his braces shining as his mouth hung partway open, revealing by the bands on his brackets that he was most probably a New York Yankees fan.

"She didn't know," Cuddy admitted, biting her lip again before looking back at Evie.

Jared looked past his brother to see the baby for himself, his eyes widening with surprise. "Whoa," he declared then. "I bet mom went ape on you for keeping that a secret!"

Cuddy moved towards House at that point, stopping beside him, not knowing how to respond to what her nephew had said and instead choosing to go with introductions. "This is House and our daughter, Evie," she said then. "House, these are my nephews, Jared and Tyler."

"Hey," Jared greeted, sticking his hand out to shake House's.

House shook the kid's hand and then his brother's as well when Tyler offered his hand in turn.

"She looks just like you, Aunt Lisa," Jared told her, looking from the baby to Cuddy.

"Thank you, Jared," Cuddy acknowledged with an affectionate smile. "And you remember Rachel, though the last time you saw her she was just a baby," she added, her voice betraying her pride while her eyes shifting to her older daughter who had tucked her head under Evelyn's chin and was watching the boys shyly.

"Hey Rachel," Jared said, waving his hand at her while his younger brother stepped closer, hunching down to smile at his little cousin.

"Hi," she murmured back, looking from one brother to the other.

"Where'd you boys get off to?" Evelyn asked them, her gaze trained upon each in turn, her expression tender.

"Mom sent us down to the store to pick up a couple extra two liters just in case we ran out," Jared explained to his grandma.

"And some sparklers for Rachel," Tyler added, grinning proudly as he continued their explanation. "We took our skateboards. I beat Jared back."

"By five seconds," Jared replied, rolling his eyes. "I beat you there though."

Tyler pretended like he hadn't heard his brother, his attention back on Rachel. "We have some toys you can play with, if you want to," he volunteered.

"Oh, you'd like that, Rachel," Evelyn murmured to her, giving her a squeeze before setting her down.

"Come on. We'll show you," Tyler offered, holding out his hand.

Rachel looked from House to Cuddy but then hesitantly slipped her hand in the older boy's hand, the fingers of her other hand slipping in her mouth as she stole glances back and forth at the two boys, going with them towards a large shed in the far corner of the enormous backyard. House remembered something about Steve running for State Representative but otherwise had no clue what he did for a living.

"I'm going to go check on Julia and Steve," Richard said, heading for the door. "See if they want any help with getting the grill going."

House stared at him but it was clear Richard was avoiding his gaze. This was going to be a mess, he decided. Although it might be kind of enjoyable in a way, at least the part involving watching Evelyn beat the crap out of Richard when she found out he'd kept a secret from her all these years; and a huge one at that.

When the door shut behind Richard, House looked at Cuddy and Evelyn who both looked like they had no idea what they should do now. He thought about telling them what was going on but it wasn't his story to tell. Instead he diverted his gaze to Rachel, watching her in the distance as the boys removed toy after toy from within the shed, making a pile of things for her to play with.

"Here, why don't you pass that grandbaby of mine to me, Greg?" Evelyn prompted then, holding out her hands to receive her, her expression when House looked back at her revealing that she'd been waiting to hold her.

House handed Evie off, his attention falling on Cuddy then. She stepped to his side, worrying her lips, and House couldn't help asking quietly, "You okay?"

Cuddy glanced up at him but nodded. "Yeah," she murmured. But the way her eyes then shifted back to the house flickering up to the second story told him she was feeling anxious.

"She was fine when we drove in last night," Evelyn interjected, guessing at what they were talking about. "Maybe we should have discussed breaking the news to her before you all arrived to give her a little warning. I'm not sure. I… I told Richard yesterday that I didn't really think there _was _a perfect moment in which to tell her anymore and anyway, it's always been Lisa's story to tell. We've always respected that."

House shook his head, it being too late to do anything about it now. "This isn't just about Evie," House mumbled under his breath, only Cuddy hearing him.

"What do you mean?" she asked, dumbfounded, looking away from her mother to look up at him fretfully.

"I mean you aren't the only one with secrets here," he drawled simply, leaving it at that.

Cuddy's eyes narrowed but it was clear that she wasn't following him.

"It's okay, Cuddy. It'll all get worked out," he reassured without affect, turning away to glance back at Rachel before he could say too much to betray his suspicions, unconfirmed as they were. Not that he had any doubt he was at the very least on the right trail, if not dead on.

Cuddy watched him as he checked on Rachel, not understanding, but then turned back to her mother, hoping her father would be back out soon and give her some clue as to how Julia was taking this and how to handle her once she did come downstairs. But they didn't have long to wait because just then Richard came out, Steve with his arm around Julia, right behind him.

Richard looked at House, his expression fierce, and House got the impression he was being warned to keep his mouth shut if he hadn't said anything already. An eyebrow rose in response, House not about to make any promises at all, but then his eyes shifted to Julia, interested in analyzing what would happen next.

"Mom! Did you see Aunt Lisa's baby?" Tyler asked then, running back towards the adults and stopping at his mother's side, just as tall as she was.

Julia turned her head towards her youngest son and reached up to move his hair out of his face as she managed a smile and murmured, "Yes, I saw her."

"We brought out a bunch of toys for Rachel to play with," he said next, switching subjects like people did train cars when they were in search of the one they could buy lunch in, giving his mom a grin that probably indicated he knew she'd be proud of him for being thoughtful or something.

"That's wonderful, sweetheart. I'm sure she will love them," Julia replied, her gaze moving to where Rachel was even now playing with Jared in the far corner of their backyard.

Tyler turned, running back to his brother and cousin, and Julia hesitantly moved her eyes to Cuddy at that point, softly acknowledging with a slightly quavering voice, "Rachel really has grown. I know you've sent pictures from time to time but… it's different to see her in person. You can really tell she's transformed into her own little person. She's not a baby anymore."

Cuddy nodded, not knowing what to say. She wasn't sure whether to just launch out into accounting for herself or wait for her sister to say something, indicating it was time to. Instead she wavered in her indecision.

House meanwhile was very conscious of how Julia evaded looking at Evie, who was yet in Evelyn's arms, content to just be held. Julia's body language told him she was tense, even while her tone seemed otherwise. Somewhere inside of him he actually felt… bad for her.

"Would you like to hold her?" Evelyn asked then, taking a step towards her youngest daughter, nervous energy pushing her to break the uncomfortable silence surrounding them.

But Julia was quick to nix that idea, moving away. "_No_," she forcefully said before she caught herself, taking a breath to calm herself down before she attempted again, "Not right now."

Cuddy had now recognized that her sister refused to even look at Evie and that instantly upset her all the more. "Julia, I…" she tried to begin.

But Julia interrupted, asking, "How old is she?"

"Nine months," House volunteered, surprising even himself at speaking up.

Julia slowly moved her gaze to him to meet his eyes, nodding, her attention now focused on studying him. "The years have been kind to you," she said then.

"Not really," he negated with a shrug, thinking mostly of his leg.

The corner of Julia's mouth rose at that response but then she became somber again as she shifted her gaze back to her sister. "Mom told me when your engagement to Lucas came to an end but I had no idea until this weekend that you were seeing someone else. She told me you were going to bring a guest but I…"

Cuddy looked worriedly at House at the mention of Lucas's name, just in time to see his jaw clench. But otherwise, his face betrayed no reaction at all. She knew better than to move towards him though, as much as she did want to do exactly that. She was probably just lucky he hadn't instantly refuted her sister's drawn conclusion of him as someone she was "seeing." Refocusing instead on her sister she tried to think of how to explain but there was no easy explanation and so she hoped House wouldn't hold it against her if she bought herself a moment more to figure out how to begin in a way that allowed her to glaze over Lucas as much as she could. She hated herself for saying it but replied simply, "It's complicated."

"_I imagine_," Julia replied, and this time her words did come across as somewhat bitter.

"I'm going to go check on Rachel," House mumbled then, realizing just how little of this part of the conversation he wanted to overhear. He reached then for Evie, taking her from Evelyn mostly because he didn't want her to overhear this either, as silly as that might have been to worry about. He did however hesitantly add, "Call me if you need me."

They all turned to watch him walk away, Cuddy's face expressing clearly how much she regretted that he was still at a point where all conversations that might in any way touch upon Lucas were to be avoided ASAP. Rubbing her hands over her face a second later, she finally lifted her head, opening her eyes after a long moment to return her sister's gaze. Moistening her lips then, she opened by saying, "This is long and involved but the short version of it is that House loved me, I… thought I loved Lucas, Lucas ended things, in part because of House, and I then… fell apart. I was angry with House and when I went to confront him about… things, we ended up… Well, you get the picture. In any case, I ended up pregnant because of that night."

Cuddy came to a stop, that having actually been the easier part to explain, now uncertain how she was to tell the next portion of her tale. Her eyes swept from her parents, to Steve, and then back to her sister, and while all of them wore blank expressions, she knew they were waiting for her to continue. She had said that she'd fallen apart but she knew she'd now be expanding on that beyond what even her parents knew and… that made her even more uneasy, though she had promised herself she would do this. Stealing a glance back behind her in House's direction she watched him and Evie with Rachel and her nephews, knowing that while he appeared to actually be in conversation with the boys, that didn't mean he was any less aware of what was going on where she was, though of course he was out of hearing range and that was clearly as he wanted it. As if in confirmation that he was paying attention somewhat his gaze lifted meeting hers and she managed a half-smile, trying to communicate how sorry she was at the same time before refocusing on her sister.

Taking a deep breath and trying to relax even as her stomach churned, she swallowed and admitted, "I've been in therapy for eight months now. And one of the things I've learned is… my problems began even before I started seeing Lucas. I… Something happened two years ago and suddenly House had to leave PPTH. It was related to amedical issue. But I wasn't sure he'd be coming back and… the truth was that I was in love with him. Have _always _been in love with him. Everything I didn't even know I wanted was… ripped away from me in that moment. And instead of facing that head on,I buried it. I made _new_ plans. And when Lucas entered the scene, all those plans quickly centered upon him. He was the only way all my dreams for the future would ever come into being. That's what I truly convinced myself of. Then, against the odds I'd placed on it ever happening, House did come back and he knew what he wanted. He wanted… me. But I had built my future around Lucas by then and I… didn't see how House and I could ever work out anyhow. I had walls built up to keep him out."

Cuddy paused, glancing back at House before meeting her mother's gaze, then her father's. Redirecting her attention to her sister, she was thankful for the months of therapy that allowed her to actually share this without breaking down and said, "When Lucas ended our engagement, I couldn't accept that. I was out of control. Everything had once more been ripped away from me. I blamed House. And I called Lucas _all the time, _trying to convince him to give me another chance. But he… he felt I needed to give _House_ a chance. And I couldn't do that. Not after everything. Then one day House came to my office to… to tell me I was pregnant with his child from our… one night together. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't _accept _it. I already blamed House for ruining my life and suddenly I was pregnant with his child and it was like that was the door closing to any opportunity I had to win Lucas back. I can't explain the despair of that. It wasn't in any way… logical. It was just part of a tailspin towards disaster. And instead of embracing my pregnancy, something I'd wanted for so long before this took place, I reacted quite the opposite. I didn't want House's baby. I didn't want to be tied to him for the rest of my life. I… wanted out of that. And I… I hoped that I'd miscarry. When I didn't, I… wanted an abortion."

Cuddy couldn't help herself at that point. She wrapped her arms around herself while silent tears trekked down her face, being echoed also by Evelyn in that detail and strangely enough, by her sister as well. Lifting her other hand, she hastily swiped at her eyes before continuing, "But House wanted our baby. Ethical or not, he found ways to keep me from having an abortion. And I hated him for it. I hated him with the… the same kind of passion I'd once loved him. I was _awful_ to him. In unimaginable ways. And I used him. I took out all my misery upon him. And the whole time he just put up with it. He looked out for me. He… loved me anyway. _Despite me. _I…He signed a legal document at my demand agreeing to take her and leave PPTH and also… to keep his paternity a secret until he left, in exchange for me not doing anything to harm or terminate the pregnancy. And when our baby was born he took her as I'd made him promise he would."

Cuddy huffed out a breath, trying to momentarily reel her emotion back in so she could explain. "My clinical depression only got worse. I… had thought once it was over, I'd be able to move on. But I wasn't. I was a wreck. And very few people knew anything at all. I was supposedly away on maternity leave. That's what most people thought. They thought I was at home enjoying my new baby. Truth was I hadn't even seen her. I didn't even know she was a girl."

"As I worsened, Rachel… was not exempt from that. I had expected to be capable of taking care of her and… I hadn't wanted anyone around anyway to ask questions about the lack of a newborn. Rachel became very ill because I wasn't taking care of her the way I should have and I finally had no choice but to take her to the hospital, as much as I hated going there. At that point someone contacted House and told him what was going on, as best as they could guess from what they'd assessed during my time with Rachel in the ER. He… he came and took care of the both of us until mom could come. I didn't want her to know but… he had a newborn to take care of and… I couldn't be trusted alone so he called her."

Remembering that Rachel had complained earlier about being hungry and wanting all the more to remember her needs now that she'd spoken of how she had once failed to, she hurriedly explained, "Mom came and took care of me and Rachel. I was put on prescription drugs for the depression and at the beginning of November I began to go for counseling. But when I came back from my maternity leave, I… I told my secretary that the baby had been stillborn. I was beginning to move in the direction of recovery, trying to get my life back, but I still didn't want anything to do with the baby. I didn't even want to hear her referred to. There was too much pain there; and too much in the way of getting to that point. I had to work through what had happened with Lucas, the truth of how I felt about House, the reality that I'd done all I could to push him away… I had to methodically deal with _everything _before I even confessed that I hadn't lost the baby. And even when I reached the point of speaking about her in therapy, I couldn't let myself _want_ her. Not after all I'd done to… be rid of her. Then one day while mom was in town, she took Rachel to the park and I decided I'd join them. But when I got there, House was there too. Before I knew it I was staring at our baby from a distance, without them knowing I was present, and… everything shifted within me. _I wanted her_. I wanted him and I'd known that for some time but now I wanted her too. I wanted to be her mommy. I didn't go to him that day but I did go to him and not too long after that he agreed to let me be a part of her life," she summarized. "He didn't have to but he… he chose to. Evie was six months old before I even entered the picture and… we've spent the last three months getting to know one another and building a relationship."

House had figured a while ago that it was safe to come back but he'd hesitated, not wanting to interrupt Cuddy or disturb her narrative of whatever she decided to share with them. Seeing her clearly approaching the end of her tale, he rifled Rachel's hair before heading back in the direction of the adults.

"Are you and House together then?" Steve asked with a raised eyebrow, his curiosity evident.

Cuddy looked in House's direction, seeing his approach, but turned back to everyone, biting her lip. "No," she negated. "He invited me and Rachel to move in with him and Evie for the present since it was in Evie's best interests, and Rachel's too actually, because despite my not knowing it, he'd formed a relationship with her through mom and… Rachel calls him daddy. That's what he _is_ to her. But there are… still a lot of things that need to be resolved. I'm hopeful but… there is a lot that has to be forgiven first," she finished as House came to stand by them.

"But you were clinically depressed," Julia surprised Cuddy by being the person to point out, apparently responding very differently from what Cuddy had expected, her tone emotional but rational, rather than judgmental.

Cuddy was quick to reply however, dropping her gaze while honestly murmuring, "Yes but if you knew the half of what I've done, you'd understand. The fact that what happened, happened while I was clinically depressed doesn't… Well, it doesn't make up for the pain I've caused House."

House shifted uncomfortably as everyone other than Cuddy turned to look at him, either with sympathy, curiosity, or as in Richard's case, doubt.

Needless to say, House didn't enjoy the spotlight being on him and his gaze quickly dropped to Evie in his arms who had a fist crammed in her mouth. But then the spotlight was quickly shifted by the next declaration to be made as Julia finally confessed something she'd holed deep within her for years now, her own private well of pain.

"I… I had an abortion Lisa," Julia admitted out of nowhere, drawing a gasp from her mom and a shocked look from Cuddy.

"_Honey_," Steve murmured soothingly, his arm tightening around her.

Cuddy stared at her sister in blatant bewilderment. "What?" she asked, falling back a step in her confusion, assuming her sister was obviously not referring to her pregnancies with the boys but to another pregnancy altogether; an up until this point otherwise unknown one, clearly.

"You don'thave to share this," Steve said quietly to his wife, rubbing her back, his focus completely on her.

At hearing her son-in-law's statement in confirmation, Evelyn finally shook herself from her own state of shock, staring at her youngest daughter in complete confusion. _What…?_ She'd had an abortion? _When?_

Julia bit her lip and then lifted a hand to wipe away the tears already spilling down her cheeks before confessing, "If you don't mind Steve, I'd like to. If it won't upset you too much. I… Technically speaking, my dad already knows. I asked him not to tell anyone else but I did tell him."

Evelyn turned to stare at her husband who was looking away and shifting uncomfortably. Julia noticed this and pleaded in defense of her dad, "Mom, please don't be mad at him. I made him promise he wouldn't tell you. He just did what I asked him to do. I… I never would have told him but… dad's not easily fooled," she concluded with a sigh, no matter how far you try to steer clear of him.

"I… I don't understand," Evelyn managed to whisper. "Richard… What? Julia?"

But at the same time Evelyn grappled with what was taking place, Steve turned to his wife and said in shock, "You never told me your dad knew."

Apparently Richard had done nothing to indicate otherwise when he'd gone into the house to find them, House concluded.

Julia choked on a sob but then cleared her throat to tearfully and apologetically admit, "I didn't want to hurt you by bringing it up, Steve. I… You didn't seem able to talk about it, everything I went through just made you feel more responsible and increased your own pain and… I didn't want to force you. But I needed to talk to _someone _and dad figured out that something was wrong, all on his own_._ I'm really sorry, Steve. I wouldn't bring it up now if I didn't think the time had come. Believe me when I say I don't want to cause you further grief. I just… I think it needs to be said."

Steve looked at her, his own pain written across his features at his wife's confession of how she'd felt unbeknownst to him and how that multiplied the ways in which he perceived himself to have failed her. He blinked hard and inhaled a ragged breath before running a hand harshly across his face trying to cover up for the fact that he too was struggling with emotion he was trying to keep at bay. Suddenly he turned her in his arms and drew her into his chest, hugging her tightly. "Honey," he mumbled into her hair as she started crying in earnest, finally breaking down, her hands coming up under his arms to clutch at him. Pressing scattered kisses to her hair, he said, "I… The _only _reason I suggested in the first place that we not talk about it and just move on was because I thought that was what you _wanted._ I thought that was the only way we'd get through it. By _not_ thinking about it so much. By not talking about it. Tragedies… Tragedies tend to either bring people closer or drive them apart. We were amongst the lucky ones. Our relationship _strengthened_. But as time continued to pass, talking about it just seemed to make you more miserable. I… I couldn't imagine the rest of my life without you and… Honestly, I wanted to talk about it with you. I just thought that after those first couple years following what happened, we were still both so close to falling apart… Well, I didn't want to lose you and I thought if I cornered you into talking about things, that was _exactly _what I'd do. I didn't want to risk you pushing me away."

He exhaled a heavy breath but then asked, "Is this…? Is this part of why you started to distance yourself from me a couple years back? Did…? Did you…?"

Comprehension suddenly dawned on him as pieces fell into place, including the events of that day, and he stared at his wife's bowed head before moving her away from him so he could see her face. "When Lisa adopted Rachel, did that stir up feelings related to _our_ first baby?"

Julia nodded slowly, blinking through her tears, wanting nothing more than to once more bury her face in her husband's neck. The births of their other children had in some ways been a balm to her pain, masking it, but she couldn't deny that her sister finally receiving a child after trying so hard for one had stirred up something within her following Rachel's Simchat Bat in how easily she'd conceived, without any effort at all, only to terminate the life growing within her, the wound from long ago revealing itself to be still there and festering once again, becoming necrotic due to its status of disrepair. Even though it had never been her intention,she supposed she hadin fact pushed Steve away, remaining aloof and distant from the husband she truly loved but felt she could not open up to even after all these years together, while reliving the feelings Rachel's adoption had triggered, feelings that she hadn't even mentioned to her dad by then, being that she'd told him shortly after it had taken place, when she and Steve were walking the straight and narrow. As he'd never been the one to bring it up afterwards, she'd left the subject alone altogether after another year had passed by.

Steve swallowed hard and then forgot their company completely as he confessed brokenly, "I thought you… I thought you were contemplating having an affair. I thought you'd grown weary with our life together and were dissatisfied with me. I thought you figured since the boys were getting older…" Swallowing convulsively again, he admitted, "I think I've spent the last year waiting for the bottom to fall out and you to ask me for a divorce."

Julia took a step back in shock, gasping as she stared up at her husband's devastated expression. "_Steve, no!_ I would _never _have an affair! I… _Never! _Honey, I loveyou! One hundred percent! _Only you! _There's never been anyoneelse! And you've done nothing wrong! This was all me! I… I thought I couldn't turn to you. So instead, I distanced myself from you. I thought it would make the ache hurt less. But in truth, it's only made it worse!"

House was quickly tiring of the Cuddy family drama and his own state of incomplete awareness. He wanted his puzzle put together. "Someone needs to explain what the hell happened," he muttered under his breath.

Cuddy and Evelyn both gasped, turning to shoot him identical disapproving glares, but Richard's expression melded almost immediately from annoyance to irony and then he chuckled dryly, feeling a release of his own tension nonetheless from what was taking place. However, this only served to draw Evelyn's eyes to him and he then received his own sweltering look. He shrugged helplessly, knowing his reaction was completely inappropriate, going far beyond his wife's current ability to make exception for, but laughing came easier to him than crying and so he'd gone with what he could work with. Richard quickly regained control though and sobered up before he returned his focus to his youngest child, aware once more of the gravity of the situation before him.

Julia bit her lip but managed a tremulous smile, knowing it wouldn't last long before taking Steve's hand in hers, determined to talk with her husband more in private aftershe clued her mother, sister, and House in. Sobering, she explained solemnly, "When Steve and I were dating back in college, I got pregnant." Avoiding her mother's gaze, still frightened of what she'd see there, Julia glanced in her father's direction, pushing forward once he nodded reassuringly for her to continue.

Refocusing on her sister she said, "Mom and dad didn't know, obviously. They didn't even know I was seeing someone. I… I was going through a rebellious phase, tired of being seen as everyone's baby and the 'good girl' but… too afraid of disappointing anyone to do so openly. It wasn't that I thought mom and dad would disapprove of him. I just knew they wouldn't be happy with a lotof the decisions I was making at that time. Mom was already upset with me after getting a letter informing her I was on academic probation for my grades having dropped. Anyway, Steve and I… We'd gotten in the habit of partying on the weekends_. _Sometimes, we partied _hard._ It was a few months before I even knew I was pregnant. Being that I was away, there was no way mom and dad would find out anytime soon if I didn't tell them. And I didn't _want _to tell them. Certainly not until I'd decided what I was going to do on my own, and even then, odds were against them ever knowing. I didn't want to disappoint them or… hurt them like that. I didn't want them to feel let down and I was already ashamed of myself without seeing it reflected in their eyes. And I… didn't want to burden them either," she finished, her voice cracking as her eyes dropped to the ground.

Richard had taken Evelyn's hand, squeezing it reassuringly while keeping a firm grasp on her, not wanting her to interrupt her daughter's explanation. Evelyn somehow understood the silent communication but she could no longer remain at his side. Pulling her hand free from his, she moved away in her daughter's direction, wiping away her own tears and wrapping her arms around Julia after Steve released her, rubbing her back reflexively.

Everyone watched as Julia let loose a sob before burrowing herself deeper into her mother's arms. "Mama, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry for being such a disappointment to you! I'm so sorry for how I've let you down!"

Evelyn struggled to blink back her tears as she hugged her daughter tightly to her chest. "Shh. Shh, Julia," she murmured, turning her head slightly to kiss her daughter's tear-stained cheeks and forehead repeatedly. "I'm not disappointed. I'm not upset with you. Shh. Mama's here. It'll be okay. Mama loves you. She's _always _loved you. Don't you know that? Don't you know there isn't anything you can do or have done that would change that fact?"

Julia's sobs slowly subsided until she finally managed to meet her mother's intent gaze, collecting herself once she had decided that her mother was being genuine and meant what she'd said.

"I told you she'd react like this," Richard spoke up, his voice gruff with emotion but pointed, interrupting the quiet.

"Richard! Hush!" Evelyn scolded, giving him a dirty look.

Richard's mouth opened and closed like a fish while he bristled and blustered. "What did _I _do?" he demanded in irritation.

This only caused Evelyn's eyes to narrow all the more, which did not go unnoticed by anyone present. Instead what it resulted in was evoking a hiccup-laced giggle from her youngest child as she gazed tenderly from her mother to her father, the apparent rascal of the evening.

After a moment in which everyone's concerned eyes returned to her, Julia took a deep breath and wiped frantically at the tears that had escaped her eyes and which had run in rivulets down her face, before leaning into her mother's side, her hand slipping behind her to find Steve's, continuing with her tale. "The doctor… The doctor was concerned about the baby's health. Steve and I… On top of our drinking, we'd also dabbled a bit in drugs. Not a lot and nothing that would severely impair our mental faculties, but we experimented a little," she hesitantly admitted, grateful in finding her mother steady and masking any reaction she might have been feeling as she stroked her fingers through Julia's hair seamlessly. "The doctor was concerned about birth defects. And that was _without _knowing about the drug experimentation. On top of that, I honestly couldn't remember how much I'd drank since getting pregnant. My mind was all a jumble, just in hearing I was pregnant_. _I… All I could think about was how I couldn't dealwith having a baby, let alone one with severe impairments due to my bad choices. And how would I take care of a baby that every day served as a reminder of what I'd done to make him the way he was? When… When the doctor looked at the next ultrasound, he had reason to believe he had been right to be concerned and that the baby was physically deformed. I'd pushed off making the decision to abort until then because well… I hadn't really been raised that way. But suddenly it was looming over me and it was all so scary and life-altering. So Steve and I made a quick decision and at twenty-two weeks, I had a partial-birth abortion without letting anyone know. I'd taken to wearing very baggy sweatshirts so only a few people knew I was pregnant anyway and… once it was over, I told anyone who asked that I'd _lost_ the baby. But… after everything was over… I don't know. I thought I'd feel this great relief. I know that there are plenty of women who've had abortions and walked away fine with their decision. But I wasn't one of them. And then the dreams started, always the same. I would be walking on campus with a baby stroller in front of me and every time I realized I had no reason to be pushing it, I'd walk around to see the baby within. And there before me was this absolutely _perfect _little baby boy who… who looked almost identical to… to your Evie. When I… When I saw her… It was like seeing _him_ and it was all there in front of me again, right down to the awful way in which his life had ended. I don't know if there _was _anything physically wrong with my baby. I'll _never _know that. But there never was in my dreams. And doctors make mistakes all the time. Babies that are supposed to be boys come out girls, babies that are supposed to have health problems come out perfect in every way, deformities on a screen could be… mere technical issues or computer glitches… I just…" Julia swallowed hard, shaking her head. "I just know that for me, having that abortion was the biggest mistake of _my life _and… I don't know what to say about Greg keeping you from having one but… I'm glad you didn't have to go through what I went through, Lisa. Because as much as you wanted to have a baby before, I'm not sure that you wouldn't have felt just as I did once it was too late to change my mind."

All composure was lost then as Julia fell apart again before their eyes, sobbing, Steve drawing her back to him while Evelyn stroked her back soothingly.

House's eyes had volleyed back and forth between those present for this conversation but for the most part they had strayed with the most frequency back to Cuddy, reading the flurry of emotions passing through her eyes and etched in her facial expressions as she listened to what her sister was telling them, her fingers tightening reflexively on his arm where she'd latched on to him almost immediately after Julia had begun to explain the past to them. Now he watched as Cuddy released him and left his side to run to her sister too, her own tears gushing from witnessing her sister's pain and feeling her hurt right along with her as much as was possible for her to. He looked on as she enfolded her baby sister in her arms, crying right alongside her, both of them holding tightly to the other. Having never had a sibling, House felt at a loss to understand the connection that seemed to exist between Cuddy and Julia in this moment, especially when they'd been more or less estranged for some time. But perhaps this reaction was _because_ of that. All he knew was that he'd come expecting to see signs of tension and sibling rivalry orall out war. He _hadn't _come expecting _this._ Nor more baby drama.

Evelyn then wrapped her arms around both daughters, crying as well, and House was left to awkwardly glance from Richard to Steve to the three women as he tried to compute whether this was a woman thing or a Cuddy women thing. While it was obvious that Steve was fighting the urge to break the three women up so he could be there for his wife, Richard seemed more nonchalant about it, as if this was par for the course, though House suspected the man also knew he was in deep trouble with his wife for withholding information from her, even if by his daughter's request, based off of the furtive glances he would shoot her way from time to time, rocking back and forth on his feet immediately after each look, his expression carrying just the slightest traces of guilt.

It was several more minutes before the crying ceased but when it did the first thing House heard was Cuddy mumbling heartbrokenly, "When Evie was born I had my lawyer terminate my parental rights. I… Legally I'm not even her mother."

And House's eyes closed in regret and grief that he hadn't already told her but had been waiting to tell her tonight. Knowing that plan was now out the window, he exhaled a breath and turned to go towards her, intending to hand Evie off to Evelyn. But Richard was already at his side, one hand clamping down on House's shoulder firmly.

"_You haven't told her?_" he gritted out, clearly furious with House.

Evelyn broke away from her daughters, first startled by what Cuddy had just said and then to look at House in surprise that he hadn't yet decided to tell her. Stepping quickly towards them though, she latched her small but apparently strong hand onto her husband's forearm and muttered, "Richard, this has to be _his _decision. You're already in enough trouble with me. Don't you dare take this out of his hands and make a scene, especially after being reminded of all he's done to take care of Lisa along the way."

But House shook his head dismissively replying, "I was planning on telling her tonight. Obviously it can't wait that long."

Giving Richard's hand a pointed look, he waited until Richard released him to hand Evie to Evelyn before turning, moving towards Cuddy who was oblivious to what had just gone down behind her as she was once more crying with her sister.

House placed his hand on her shoulder and she immediately broke away from her sister and turned into him, wanting his comfort more than anything if he was actually able to offer it to her, burying her face against him and crying harder now. House's eyes went up towards the sky in resignation but his arms had already come around her, one hand even now stroking through her hair while he murmured soothingly to her. He supposed he should just be glad that this had all taken place without Rachel taking any notice. He was certain the boys were responsible for that though. They were most assuredly aware of the drama by this point, for gaggles of crying women seldom went unnoticed, though not knowing the details of course and steering clear of it accordingly, as any wise adolescent boy, any man for that fact, would in such bewildering circumstances do.

"Cuddy, we need to talk," he mumbled when her head turned to the side, still remaining against him but now able to breathe a little easier as her sobs turned back to shudders.

"What?" she asked, clearly confused by what he'd said and his tone in saying it, her head turning back towards him but falling back enough that she could look up at him to see his face.

Instead of answering though House glanced at everyone who was watching them, seeing the kids chasing their ball around now with Rachel far behind the adults, clearly already worshiping the ground her cousins walked on, and then pursed his lips before guiding her towards the house.

Cuddy glanced back at everyone, worrying her lip between her teeth, but followed him regardless, suddenly aware of how badly she needed a tissue and what a mess she probably was. Strangely enough, House took her hand upon entering the house and led her about, seemingly looking for something. She wordlessly followed him, not having words to question what he was doing.

And then House took her into her brother-in-law's study, closing the door behind them, and she looked about at the bookshelves before her eyes focused on him.

"Sit down," he mumbled, nodding to the sofa not too far away, not surprised when she did as instructed without a response. Given the confidence-inducing heels she was wearing though, she probably just needed to get off her feet.

House reached out then and grabbed several tissues from a Kleenex box nearby before coming to her side, exhaling heavily after he'd taken a seat, facing her. She took the tissues from him when he held them out, swiping at her face.

House's eyes moved over her features and then his hand came up almost unbeknownst to him, attempting to gently wipe a smudge of mascara from one cheek before tucking a lock of hair behind her ear.

"What, House?" she finally managed to ask, swallowing hard first because she was almost fearful of what he had to say after the way in which he'd intentionally sought to separate them from everyone else to say it. "What is it?"

"Your parental rights were never terminated, Cuddy," he mumbled, shaking his head while his gaze locked with hers.

Cuddy swallowed against the knot in her throat once more, her bottom lip trembling as she then contradicted, "Yes they were House. I… I didn't go to court but the lawyer called and left a message informing me that custody had been given to you. And I paid his fees when the bill came."

House shook his head again. "Legal and physical custody _were_ awarded to me, Cuddy. But…" He sighed, looking away and shaking his head once more before returning his gaze to her, lowering his head to look pointedly into her eyes. "Cuddy, that day in court well… I was afraid you'd regret this someday. And so I… I asked the judge, who just happened to be the same one I went before because of Tritter, if she'd be willing to wait a year on terminating your parental rights. Despite the protests of your lawyer, and believe me, he went to bat to do what you wanted him to do, she… she agreed to wait a year. Why you don't already know this I'm not sure. If he left you a message, you must not have been paying close attention. And I'm guessing you paid the bill without reading any legal documents over. You'd have to pay him anyways you know, regardless of whether he was successful in carrying out your wishes," he reasoned.

But Cuddy was still back on the part about waiting a year. She sucked in a ragged breath, the tears leaking out immediately. "I'm still Evie's mother?" she breathily cried.

"You were kinda always going to be her mother, Cuddy," House dryly responded, an eyebrow crooked. "Can't change biology."

Cuddy shook her head to brush aside what he'd said. "But I still… I still have my parental rights? I didn't lose them? I didn't give them up?" she whispered doubtfully.

"I haven't been contacted yet with the court date for a final decision to be made, but yeah, Cuddy. You do. At least until October comes and we have to go before the judge again to have this be over with. But I don't think that'll be a problem. She wasn't too happy to see me again but she still decided to hold off a year. And I would imagine you'll probably hear from your lawyer before too long, unless he was expecting you to contact him if you wanted further representation. I guess technically notice is given to you and not to him," he revised.

"You… you asked her to wait _a year?_ Why…? Why would you do that, House? Why would you do that when as far as you knew I would stick with my decision?" Cuddy couldn't help asking, positively flummoxed, especially when his pain had to have still been… _so fresh_. That alone had her then reaching up to wipe at the moisture in her eyes as she drew in a shaky sob in response to her thoughts.

House look away but mumbled dismissively, "Cuddy, you know that was never what I wanted. I never wanted you to abandon her. I never wanted you to give her up like that. I wanted you to want her… like I did."

Cuddy's head tilted to the side at his gut-wrenching admission.

"I didn't want you to regret this Cuddy," he concluded simply. "And if you did come back, I didn't want Evie to find out one day that you'd tried to erase her from your life so completely as that."

And then Cuddy threw herself into his arms, not even thinking of his leg but not jarring it anyway, sobbing against his shoulder as her fingers dug into the collar of his shirt, clinging to him almost ferociously.

"I think your dad would have preferred you scream at me over not telling you sooner over _this reaction_," he stated wryly against her ear, one arm coming up to surround her despite his discomfort at how she was holding onto him so desperately now.

He didn't think she'd heard him until she mumbled into his collarbone indicating she had, admitting, "I might still be angry at you later."

House's chest jerked with a snort of incredulity but otherwise he remained still in her arms, just waiting on her to be finished.

When she did cease crying, her body still convulsing slightly in his arms with the force of her previous sobs, House dropped his hand and casually mumbled under his breath, "You still have your parental rights Cuddy. You could fight for… at least partial custody. They might give it to you, now that you're doing so much better."

"_What?_" Cuddy instantly asked in disbelief, pulling back from him to see his face, it not being possible for her to be more shocked and appalled by what he'd said than by if she'd found herself crumpled against the wall after he'd suddenly thrown her away from him and across the room. "Are you _testing me?_" she asked, that being the only conclusion she could draw from what he'd just said.

"_No_. Of course not, Cuddy. I'm just saying… you still have rights, that's all," he muttered.

Cuddy's head fell back on her shoulders and she sighed before pursing her lips, concentrating on him even if he wouldn't meet her gaze now. "House, I get that I've hurt you in numerous ways but you have _got _to start trusting me sometime," she finally said, her voice weary yet strong.

House met her gaze for a split-second, searching her eyes, and she stared back, waiting him out. He looked away though and then quite miserably explained, "Maybe you want to be with me because in some convoluted way, you look at what happened and… think you are no longer deserving of me, like Henry suggested my mom felt about my dad. Maybe… Cuddy, maybe you're _not_ only here because of Evie. But… maybe once you take Evie out of the equation you wouldfind that the only thing keeping you here now is all this unresolved guilt weighing upon you and you think the only way you can assuage your regrets and correct the past is by trying to make things work with me. For my sake. For Evie's. For whatever reason. Maybe you too are trying to create the perfect life and… what's going to happen on the day when you find out life isn't perfect, huh? What then? What happens when you decide that all your efforts didn't bring you to the place you thought they would? What if you stick this out and ten, twenty years from now you're no less miserable than you are right now?"

"House," Cuddy asserted, reaching for him and placing the palm of one hand upon his chest, directly over his heart. "Your mom's situation is not mine. I know I said that one time that _I'm Blythe_, but it isn't true. There are similarities between the two situations. But they aren't the same. And you and I… We aren't the same as Henry and Blythe, nor John and Blythe. Furthermore, I want you to know that that is not _at all_ what I was thinking about when Henry was talking about your mom that day at Starbucks. House, what we share and _have shared_…, it's so much bigger than what your mom had with _either_ man. Moreover, Henry was stating that your mom was miserable because she never dealt with the past. I've been in counseling for _months _now. I've been working through it and for that matter, so have _you_. We… We've even found times in which we've been able to work through bits and pieces together. I'm not saying they have been pleasant or that they've been easy. But we've talked about things and we've made _lots _of progress. Henry was pointing out how your mom never got past any of it; that she buried it and tried to pretend like none of it had happened. Kind of like Julia just told us she'd done with her own suffering. That is _not _true for me at all. Can you see that? Can you…? Can you see that little by little, I'm finding myself again? That I'm not the same person I was during my pregnancy or the person I was immediately after? Do you think maybe I'm slowly getting my life back and, I don't know, actually finding myself with a life that's… better than I ever imagined it could be? I… I'm not_ worried_ about if I can make the past up to you, House. I know I never will be able to erase that. Not that I wouldn't love it if that _was _something I could do. What I want House… What I want is to be there for you and the girls, to love you and the girls, to build a life with you and the girls. Because I'll never be happy _without _you AND the girls. I'm not Blythe and you aren't Henry, nor are you John. You're House," she stated, punctuating her words with a smile and a poke in the chest. "You're the man I fell in love with as a college student. You're the man I devoted years of my life to chasing around at PPTH. You're the man I bickered with, bantered with, and battled with, for _years. _House, you're the man who has proven to be mylife-long addiction. Yes, you're the man I had a child with at a time when I just wasn't ready to understand and embrace the gift I'd been given, and yes, you're the man I hurt beyond my ownability to comprehend. But House, can't you see? _You _aremyONE. You're it. You're mine. You always have been. And you _always will be._"

House looked away, frowning as he stared across the room at a book that wasn't quite lining up correctly with all the other books on the bookshelf. Finally he moved his eyes to meet hers once more. "And what if I can't ever trust you like before?" he asked worriedly in a low voice.

A twinge of pain shot through her at the question but surprisingly not as much for the lack of an ability to trust her as for the tone of his voice and how problematic _he _saw this to be. Her head automatically tilted to the side as she studied him before replying, "House, that trust is just going to take time to build back up. You've done things in the past that have hurt me and caused me to lose faith in you; to not trust you. But that's behind us now. Reality is that I do trust you. You've earned that trust. You've earned it through so many things you've done to prove faithful to… just how much you _do _love me. And when it comes to you not trusting me House, it would be unrealistic for _either _of us to think you're going to trust me again overnight. We're making headway. Intentionally or not so intentionally, you're extending me opportunities to show you can trust me; that I can be trusted and I'd like to believe I haven't failed you so far."

House nodded slowly but then exhaled before his eyes focused on a spot somewhere over her shoulder, unable or unwilling to look directly at her. "And what if…? What if my… problem never reverses?" he mumbled under his breath, a wave of humiliation splashing over him.

"It will," she said simply, confidently, shrugging then as the corners of her mouth went up to indicate she truly believed that, meeting his eyes when they flicked to her before flicking away just as quickly.

"You can't know that," he argued somberly, shaking his head.

"House, I'm an Endocrinologist. And while I know you don't think that much of me as a doctor," she dryly quipped, "I know enough to tell you that… in most cases, it's just a matter of stimulation," she murmured, biting her lip even as she said it, all teasing having left her voice long before those last words left her mouth.

He cringed in distaste and muttered, "That's not an option."

"I know," Cuddy quietly agreed, surprising him enough that his eyes sought out hers. "You don't trust me," she explained, her expression accepting while sympathetic. "How _could _it be an option?"

House looked almost repentant but then mumbled, "Even _if_ I trusted you, Cuddy, I… That would be humiliating. If it didn't work… If I failed... I…" He sighed wearily as his eyes squeezed shut a second before he honestly admitted, "I have so little pride left intact these days. If it didn't accomplish what it was supposed to, I wouldn't… have any left."

Cuddy reached out, her hand stroking the side of his face, relieved when he didn't pull away but instead leaned into her caress. "House," she began, bringing her other hand up now to stroke the opposite side of his face as well, her thumbs tracing circles upon his scruffy cheeks. "You went through a lot of… emotional abuse, at my hands. It's only natural that you don't trust me and this is just one of the side effects of all that you suffered. It's not permanent. It's just… going to take time. We've both had things we've had to work through to get this far. And we both have farther to go. But we'll get there. And I'm not rushing you. There's no pressure whatsoever. I just… I want to be allowed to _love_ you and rebuild what we had _before._ Right now, all I'm asking for is the opportunity to work at reestablishing our friendship and then… see where it goes from there. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going to give up either. There's no timetable laid out before you with which you have to comply, before I give up and move on. Because I'm not interested in everbeing with anyonebut you. I _love _you. There could not be anyone else for me anymore than you believe there is someone else for you. And I don't have a problem with waiting until you are ready. You're worth it. You're _more _than worth it."

House rolled his eyes then and she smiled brightly, recognizing he thought her last statement to have been a most cheesy one.

"Well, it's true," she muttered, rolling her own eyes right back at him.

The corner of House's mouth quirked up but then he pursed his mouth before truthfully acknowledging in solemnity, "I don't want you going anywhere, Cuddy."

"Good, because I'm _not _going anywhere," she quipped with a cheeky smirk, reluctantly dropping her hands back to her sides though her palms _may _have stroked the length of his chest on the way down.

His eyes met hers and he stared at her a moment before somberly stating, "You have to follow through."

His words were not a command so much as a statement that if she had any doubts about whether or not she could, it would be best to just say so now and save herself the effort and him the heartache. But giving her an opportunity to back out was unnecessary because she would never take it. The battle for his heart was one she'd never concede.

"I will," she assured him, nodding her head slowly in commitment.

House watched her gravely for another long pause but then he bobbed his head, taking her at her word. "Okay," he managed to reply.

"Okay," Cuddy echoed, leaning in towards him to press her lips to his in a short, perfunctory kiss to seal her verbal contractual agreement with him.

* * *

"_**Oh, this is the start of something good  
Don't you agree?  
I haven't felt like this in so many moons  
You know what I mean?  
And we can build through this destruction  
As we are standing on our feet**_

_**So, since you want to be with me  
You'll have to follow through  
With every word you say  
And I, all I really want is you  
You to stick around  
I'll see you everyday  
But you have to follow through  
You have to follow through**_

_**These reeling emotions they just keep me alive  
They keep me in tune  
Oh, look what I'm holding here in my fire  
This is for you  
Am I too obvious to preach it?  
You're so hypnotic on my heart**_

_**So, since you want to be with me  
You'll have to follow through  
With every word you say  
And I, all I really want is you  
You to stick around  
I'll see you everyday  
But you have to follow through  
You have to follow through**_

_**The words you say to me are unlike anything  
That's ever been said  
Oh and what you do to me is unlike anything  
That's ever been  
Am I too obvious to preach it?  
You're so hypnotic on my heart**_

_**So, since you want to be with me  
You'll have to follow through  
With every word you say  
And I, all I really want is you  
(For) you to stick around  
I'll see you everyday**_

_**So, since you want to be with me  
You'll have to follow through  
With every word you say  
And I, all I really want is you  
(For) you to stick around  
I'll see you everyday**_

_**But you have to follow through  
You have to follow through  
You're gonna have to follow  
**_

_**Oh, this is the start of something good  
Don't you agree?"**_

* * *

Song: "Follow Through" (Gavin DeGraw)


	105. So Close

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Sorry it took me so long! Life got busy! Here's the next chapter! And I'll try to get back to some of your reviews now!)_

* * *

There was a part of House that hung back while the rest of him was only too willing to believe Cuddy had meant every word she'd just said and really would follow through on her promise. Well, it wasn't even that he questioned whether she meant it. He was convinced that she did. He could see it in her unguarded expression. But it was that he questioned if she only meant what she'd said because… Well, if he was her "_one," _as she'd just said, just as he had once so adamantly believed she was _his_… If he was "the man" in her numerous equations, past, present and future… What did that make Lucas?

House opened his mouth to force himself to confront what prompted his latest hesitations but the words just wouldn't come. He wasn't ready yet, he knew, and… besides, it was surprisingly a much smaller part of him than he would have expected, had he anticipated the conversation they'd just had, which he most certainly had not. Too, he wasn't sure if his reluctance now was because he didn't want to ruin where they'd just found themselves and her obvious contentment or… if he was afraid mentioning _him_ would cause a reaction in her expression that would serve to dissolve in his own eyes all value he'd derived from the pledge she'd just made. And reality was, deep down inside there was a considerable amount of value he was deriving from it. Neither explanation was all that pleasant but the second was far more valid of a concern.

Cuddy watched his expression, trying to read him as he opened his mouth to say something and then appeared to think better of it, his mouth closing just as soundlessly. "What?" she softly prompted, slipping her hands down from his face to clasp loosely around his neck a second later as she waited for him to speak.

"Nothing," he mumbled dismissively.

Cuddy held back a sigh at his reticence but started searching through what they'd last spoken of and through his last statements, trying to figure out where he needed her reassurance now, for she was certain that was what it came down to; reassuring him in some way. But as Lucas had not come up she didn't even consider him now, by this time generally only thinking of him when the situation required her to, usually then due to House, and therein causing her mind at present to instead return to his… issues.

Biting her lip, her forehead knit together as wheels turned in her head. A moment later her eyes widened, her forehead smoothing as she wondered… just how much he'd be willing to allow her to express, in a way that he'd perhaps… understand. Swallowing hard she inhaled sharply, her expression revealing she was semi-nervously contemplating something even as the old Cuddy re-emerged, determined to try and get whatever it was she was thinking across to him.

House watched her and then grew leery, not knowing what she was thinking of but cautious now as he'd had no trouble distinguishing she was about to say something that she wasn't so certain about voicing. Or rather, to which she wasn't sure just how he'd respond.

But it wasn't what she was about to say. It was what she was about to do.

Releasing her hold on him, she backed away and then got to her feet, meeting his gaze and moistening her lips before managing to calmly say, albeit in a tone that leaned a little too much towards that of a doctor rationalizing with someone slightly difficult, "House, I need you to stand up and I need… I need to ask you to trust me. Trust me to not take this farther than you are up to. Can you do that? Can you take another chance on me right now?"

House felt a little slack-jawed as he stared at her, his mind racing to analyze what she was asking of him even though he was having a little trouble concentrating as she turned away without waiting for an answer to walk to the door, turning the lock until it clicked, that click seeming to echo about the room much louder than was possible for it to have.

House swallowed hard as she returned to stand before him, her expression communicating she was in fact still waiting for his answer. "Cuddy," he finally managed to mumble, his voice hoarse, "What are you…?"

But Cuddy shook her head, holding one hand out for him to take. "You need to take a chance on me. _Trust me_ House."

He visibly cringed and yet… couldn't help remembering how she'd spoken about him having extended her opportunities to prove he could trust her, how she hadn't in fact failed him to date, and the importance she'd obviously given those demonstrations on his part as well. "Cuddy," he tried again, struggling for just how to handle this without leaving her disappointed or hurt, neither one seeming like pleasant alternatives when things had been fine a moment before.

Amazingly Cuddy's own nervousness was now gone, eclipsed by House's. She couldn't help but smile before she further encouraged him by promising somberly, "I won't touch you. Other than your hand," she amended, reminding him that she was still waiting for him to take hers and get to his feet.

House swallowed hard but then slowly extended his hand, allowing her to help him up even while he pushed himself from the couch so as not to depend on her ability to actually get him upright, standing awkwardly in front of her then, uncertain of just what he was getting himself into, especially as she'd purposely locked the door and that was yet in the forefront of his mind.

"Will you trust me?" she asked beseechingly, her eyes searching his.

House sucked in a breath but slowly nodded, maintaining eye contact even though she could practically smell his hesitancy.

"Good," she replied with a nod. And then before he had any idea what she was doing Cuddy released his hand and took a small step back before reaching down to grasp the hem of her shirt, pulling it up and over her head with practiced ease.

"Wha – Wha - What are you _doing?_" he sputtered out, his eyes practically bugging out of his head as he quickly averted his gaze from her.

Cuddy laughed at his question, casting her shirt on the couch behind him before she reached behind her to unzip her skirt, wiggling slightly until it dropped to the floor at her feet. She stepped out of it and then leaned down to pick it up, throwing it so that it joined her shirt before she quickly glanced down to make sure everything was as it should be. "Ignore the garter and thigh-highs," she apologetically murmured, biting her lip. "Oh! And that I'm in a thong. I won't turn around at the risk of making you more uncomfortable than you probably already are. I realize that the overall ensemble is meant to be sexy but I'm actually not trying to seduce you right now and at least the bra and underwear are white, rather than black. Anyway, I promise I didn't wear them with you in mind."

House couldn't help but turn his head to stare at her then, immediately asking in a flabbergasted tone and with a raised eyebrow, "Who _did_ you wear them for?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes, laughing, her breasts then attracting his attention as her chest moved with her laughter. "For myself," she answered dryly, her tone carrying an edge that warned against him making an issue of that while one shoulder raised slightly in her explanation. "I… Well I know it might seem strange, being that I came to a family get-together dressed like this, not that any of them would know anyways, but… I needed the added boost to my self-confidence today. For whatever reason, this has always helped me."

But House only half-heard her and was nowhere near ridiculing her for her decision as she might have somewhat expected, his attention otherwise distracted, and Cuddy watched, moistening her lips and swallowing hard as his eyes moved across her skin, causing her body to react to his intent, if somewhat reluctant and despite himself, perusal of her exposed flesh. She was suddenly thankful she'd gone with the push-up, just in case the difference it made, made a difference _for him_.

"Give me your hand," she softly urged then, her head bobbing with the request and her own attempts to control her tone and keep it steady, butterflies taking flight in her belly, their wings sending waves crashing about internally.

House shook his head as if he was waking up, his eyes shooting up to meet hers, suddenly wary and realizing that he had in fact been checking her out, even if he'd meant to keep his eyes averted while he'd intended to try and piece together just what she was doing. But Cuddy didn't wait for him, reaching out to take his hand in hers, resituating his fingers a second later so that his pointer and middle were extended and the rest folded in. Staring into his eyes she took another step back to make sure he'd see what she was doing but then moved his hand up to her neck, shaking her hair so that it fell down her back, better exposing her neck to his gaze, never breaking eye contact as she placed his fingers against her carotid artery, knowing he would automatically check her pulse without thinking about it.

"Just being close to you like this makes my heart race," she solemnly murmured before her gaze unconsciously slipped to his lips and then back up to his eyes, the struggle to concentrate on her delivery winning over the physical desire washing over her to try and gratify her craving for his touch.

House stared at her, still not understanding where this had come from. But Cuddy was clearly not done. She broke the contact she'd established, turning his hand somewhat before lifting it up to her face, rubbing her cheek against the back of it before bringing it to her lips, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles, her breathing now slightly shaky.

"Kissing you makes me feel feverish. It doesn't matter if it's just a small peck or if I'm all out kissing you. It doesn't matter if it's on your lips or along your skin. Color starts flooding into my face like I know it's doing right now. _You _make me feel this way," she continued honestly.

And then she was moving his hand down but he didn't think anything of it, despite the fact that he probably should have by this time if it wasn't that it was taking so much of his energy just to pay attention to her words and it was almost as if he'd assumed she was returning it to his side until she did anything but that, drawing his hand back in time to trace his finger down her sternum and along her cleavage, towards her right breast.

House's hand jerked in hers as he stared wide-eyed, swallowing with difficulty as she moved his fingers along her skin but she tightened her grasp momentarily, whispering earnestly, "Trust me," once more.

He closed his eyes in response but didn't try to pull away again and her grip on him relaxed just before his fingers came into contact with her already responsive nipple through the thin lace covering her breast which separated it from his fingers, though clearly not by much. House let out a shaky breath even as Cuddy's eyes fluttered closed but she managed to swallow the moan that she'd almost let free, reopening her eyes to await House. When he opened his a second later, meeting hers uncertainly, she murmured, "The mere thought of you has my body instantaneously responding like this. Trust me when I tell you that it's been like this with you from day one. And it's obvious that nothing has changed that. House, no one else has ever had to do so little to evoke a physical response from me as you do."

Cuddy loosely took his hand from her breast then, releasing the breath she'd been holding to keep herself in check so as not to add to his discomfort and bring an early end to what she wanted him to understand, and began moving it down further, allowing his pointer finger to slide along her belly in its descent, perhaps acquiescing and indulging her own wants a bit more than she should have but not beyond what she could forgive herself for.

But House had caught on to the general idea by this time and quickly shook his head, his hand not resisting her movements because he forced himself not to pull away, needing to show her a token of trust in her ability to see when things could go no farther for his own sake as well as hers, but clearly communicating this was beyond what he could handle all the same, and Cuddy paused before his hand could come into contact with her garter or fabric of her underwear directly under it, nodding slowly and breaking his finger's contact with her belly, however reluctantly she did so.

Not releasing his hand however, she brought her other hand forward to hold his with both of hers before asking softly, "Do you understand what I'm trying to say, House?"

He met her gaze but his confusion was evident even as he blurted out, "If I hadn't already figured out you were interested by you _saying so_, I think the whole invading my shower incident cleared things up pretty effectively."

Cuddy sighed, releasing his hand as she shook her head, her eyes closing before she raised a hand to rub her face. Clearly she hadn't been as successful as she'd hoped. Opening her eyes, she bent slightly and reached around him, retrieving her clothes as she pouted, further disappointed when he moved aside so her bare skin wouldn't touch him, though on his end that was unconsciously done and more to be helpful than based on any real objection to contact in that moment, seeing as he'd already touched her a lot more than he'd ever thought he would today.

He watched as Cuddy slowly pulled her shirt back on, his eyes trailing down to take in all of her, right down to the garter belts attached to her white thigh highs then, noticing now for the first time that throughout all of this she'd left her heels on, which if the situation had been slightly different, if _he'd _been different, he certainly wouldn't have been unaffected by discovering, before he watched her step into her skirt, sliding it up and over her.

"Zip me?" she nevertheless asked him, turning about, not thinking of how he'd still catch a hint of the thong she had on and her bare flesh there while zipping her up as she asked.

It took him a minute to clear his head, searching for something sensible to say, the image of what he'd seen of her backside still in mind, but by the time she turned back to him he was able to incredulously ask, "I thought you wanted to work at reestablishing a _friendship?_"

Cuddy stopped in the midst of making slight adjustments to her outfit to look at him, caught off-guard, and then slowly reanimated herself, assertively assuring, "I do."

The last thing she wanted was to have him think she didn't, or to have him conclude she was in fact rushing him when that had not at all been her intention.

"Then what…?" he began, his confusion evident, still having to work hard to reformulate thoughts even though she was now decent again.

Cuddy expelled her breath but knew she'd have to explain since she'd failed to get the message across otherwise. She couldn't help but find that disappointing and… more than a little uncomfortable, as she had to be so careful about her wording, but all the same, there was nothing for it. Moistening her lips, she began, "You need to understand that while you think less of yourself for not being able to physically respond to me yet, I _don't_. You need to know that I am physically attracted to you, 100%. I was before… the 'shower incident' as you referred to that _disastrous_ happenstance and… that hasn't changed in the aftermath. _That… _your lack of a reaction to me I mean,doesn't have any impact at all on how attractive I think you are; how much I physically long for you, House, as a woman longs for her man. You… Who you are to me – well you aren't _less_ to me because of it. This was the only practical way I could think of to show you that; to show you that you are _not _less of a man because your body won't yet respond to me. And don't look at me like that because I know you've been thinking that of yourself. I need you to see that while I understand you feeling that way, in my eyes you have no reason to feel like you've lost your pride in… the consequences you're experiencing from our muddled mess. Even if I still managed to mess this up so that you were clearly clueless as to what I was trying to show you in my… half-naked state."

Cuddy had managed to say all that without faltering but now in staring at his dubious at best expression she began to question if she'd totally missed something, right from the get go. "You… you did need to know that…, didn't you?" she finally asked quietly, color suffusing her cheeks for a different reason now as she anticipated an answer, completely losing her self-assured stance as she waited for him to respond, worrying her lip in the meantime, suddenly thinking perhaps she really was completely narcissistic in thinking he needed anything from her, including an indication of how her body physically responded when he was near her, his body reciprocating the reaction or not.

House shook his head from side to side but almost as someone would to get water out of their ear, floundering for words as he tried to follow her logic. And then he laughed almost helplessly at the expression on her face and how he'd apparently just deflated her balloon without even attempting to. "Well I guess that's good to know," he finally managed to voice though not without a thorough coating of irony to his words, still shaking his head in mild disbelief as he rifled a hand through his hair, keeping his gaze upon her focused above the neck so as not to think about what she'd looked like without the layer of clothes she'd added back, which to himself he had to admit he would probably spend time contemplating later.

Cuddy looked at him in a quandary about what to think and released a breath as she demanded, "Well then what _were _you going to ask me?"

"You thought I was going to ask you to take your clothes off?" House asked, messing with her a little now.

"_No!_" she quickly denied, turning to drop down on the couch, her hands going up to rub at her temples, not wanting to look at him anymore, feeling somewhat humiliated and more than a little put out by her apparently over-the-top and completely unnecessary demonstration of how he affected her. "But I thought you were still thinking about how you… couldn't respond to me _in that way _and that was leading you to think that maybe I'd… think less of you because of it. You said you don't have much pride left these days and… I don't know. I thought you needed to understand that there's no reason for you not to and… that my thinking less of you wasn't the case, nor even remotely true, so I… tried to show you in a way that you'd perhaps understand best."

House scoffed his incredulity but sat down on the couch beside her, moving his head to the side to meet her gaze, snorting then.

"Well what _were _you thinking?" Cuddy pressed indignantly, raising her eyes to stare at him pointedly even as she crossed her arms defensively over her chest.

"Not that," he quickly negated, shaking his head.

"What then?" she repeated, her head tilting down as she waited for an answer.

"Forget it, Cuddy," House dismissed. "It's not important. And besides, after what you just did to prove you are attracted to me, I'd hate to see what you'd do in response if I told you what I'd really been thinking," he wryly responded, giving her a pointed glance.

Cuddy huffed but closed her eyes before pouting, feeling like an idiot.

"Not that I didn't appreciate the show," he added with a chuckle, trying to make her feel better.

"Did you appreciate it?" she queried seriously, opening her eyes to look at him.

"Well…" he awkwardly began, shrugging as he ran a hand over his face. "I appreciate your intentions anyway."

Cuddy groaned in response, sighing once more.

"So," House said after a minute of silence passed between them, letting her off the hook for what she'd just done, not feeling nor wanting to mention it further at the moment, mostly because if he did she'd eventually more forcefully demand an explanation for whatever she thought she'd seen in his expression earlier. "Wanna go see if your mom has skinned your dad alive yet?"

Cuddy closed her eyes as she shook her head but managed to laugh throatily at his question, all of the emotions she'd experienced in the last couple hours not yet having time to dissipate completely and reappearing in her laughter. Then she swiveled her head back dramatically in his direction, her head tilted at an angle and pointedly raised an eyebrow. "Mom will wait at leastuntil there are no children or grandchildren present before she does anything," she declared then, accepting his change of topic and actually thankful he was at least disposed to pretending for the moment that she hadn't just… done what she had. "Once they are alone, then his suffering will come to fulfillment. In the meantime he'll be stuck questioning how bad it's going to be, which probably serves my mom well anyway. Because my mom would _never _have let Julia hole this up inside her and have the truth remain unsaid all these years. Mom… would have pushed and prodded, as gently as she could,until it was cleared up knowing that it was in Julia'sbest interest that it come into the open and be dealt with. Just like she gave me the push I needed to start seeing someone and talk about what I'd gone through. But trust me House, you won't wantto be there when they are finally left alone tonight. My dad is lucky enough that they are staying here with Julia and Steve_. _That at least means he'll survive the night."

House snorted but then his mouth slipped into a smirk before he was able to wipe it away and she sighed, knowing he had a smart remark on the tip of his tongue that he really wanted to release and which she probably needed to prepare herself to hear. He was too quick-witted and way too insightful for anyone's good, so it was naïve to think he wouldn't have something to say about what he'd just been witness to, though she honestly hoped whatever it was, wasn't in any way connected to her… demonstration of desire.

"Your family might be more screwed up than mine," he mused then.

Cuddy relaxed somewhat into the couch but just waited, certain that he wasn't done.

"I mean, _seriously screwed up._ The bad genes must pass through your father because it's obvious that your mother is a saint. Still, how she didn't somehow manage to compensate for your dad and avoid raising such screwed up children is beyond me," he wryly finished, surprising Cuddy by not taking his commentary any further.

"Are you done yet?" she asked him all the same before he could continue.

The corner of his mouth rose at the expression upon her face but he grew serious instead of pursuing the opportunity to harass her, and asked, "Do you think Rachel and Evie can survive having two screw-ups like us for parents? Do you think we've already indisputably and irrevocably screwed them up for the rest of their lives?"

Cuddy huffed, not wanting to think about it, breaking their eye contact to move her eyes about the room. "Let's hope not but I'll tell you this," she seriously intoned, bringing her eyes back to him.

House raised an eyebrow, waiting.

"You keep a secret like that from me and you will find out what 'hell has no fury like a woman scorned' really translates into, Cuddy female style. And you can rest assured that the ass-kicking my father will take tonight will stock up as tame in comparison. A scalpel would have your name on it, House. And as out of practice as I am in your eyes, I'd suggest you think twice from here on out of ever giving me reason to practice my carving skills upon you."

The corner of his mouth had risen at her vehement words but his hand went up to touch her face, his grin growing when she leaned into his touch, sighing softly as her eyes fluttered shut while he enjoyed the velvet feel of her cheek against his palm, the image of her in her undergarments still in mind and making him want to touch her now, even if in a simplistic way to remember how smooth her skin had been against his fingertips.

"You can't keep secrets regarding the girls either then," he said quietly. "Even if it means I might be facing jail time for killing some kid who didn't know enough to stay away from one of them."

Cuddy laughed as she opened her eyes to meet his, shaking her head before quickly turning her face to brush her lips against the inside of his palm.

When he made no move to indicate he was uncomfortable, his hand tucking her hair back behind her ear in the next second, she moved even closer to him and then bit her lip before tracing her tongue over it, her gaze trained on his lips now, straightening her upper body to hover over him more as her hands went up, one settling at the base of the back of his neck while the other met his scruffy cheek.

"Can I kiss you, House?" she asked breathily, her eyes searching the depths of his.

"If you want to," he quietly mumbled almost doubtfully after a minute of staring at her, his eyebrows gathering as he looked at her uncertainly, perhaps more about whether or not she'd stop with just a kiss than in questioning her interest in kissing him.

"Oh I definitely want to," Cuddy nevertheless drew out almost seductively, moistening her lips again, her eyelashes fluttering while she drew closer, aligning their lips seconds later. "There was never any question about that."

Her fingers moved through his hair, lightly massaging his scalp as her lips met his and House closed his eyes in response, his own lips responding to hers as he turned his head slightly to the side to catch her lips more fully.

Cuddy practically purred as she leaned closer into him and House smiled against her lips but didn't open his eyes as his hand went up to light upon her waist, steadying her so she wouldn't fall due to their slightly awkward position on the couch, but also serving as a precaution against this turning into something more.

However, he needn't have worried about that slim possibility existing as just then there was a knock on the door and Cuddy reluctantly pulled back from him, groaning at the interruption, her eyes on his when he opened them to meet hers.

"Come in," she called out disappointedly, not breaking their gaze.

"Cuddy, you're practically straddling me," he mumbled quickly, forgetting that she'd locked the door and gesturing at their position, an eyebrow quirked.

"Mmm, no," she murmured, one hand leaving his hair to allow her to stroke his lips with her thumb, fingers and palm against his scruff. "This skirt is too tight to straddle you properly. I would have to pull it up around my hips or take it off completely to do that. And while I'd be okay with that, I know enough to figure taking it off once was more than you were prepared for today."

House's eyes widened at her suddenly teasing statements after how embarrassed she'd been just minutes ago, but her head turned to watch the door as someone twisted the knob, drawing his attention off in that direction as well.

"You locked it," he reminded her then, remembering.

"Oh," she murmured, nodding, pouting momentarily when his hand immediately dropped from her waist so that she could go answer the door.

"Just a second," she called out then, removing her hands from him reluctantly to get to her feet.

Cuddy walked to the door, House watching her go, and unlocked it before opening it to reveal Evelyn with the girls, waiting outside.

"Mommy! Daddy! Aunt Julia said I can have cookies after we eat! They's got M 'n emmy's in them!" Rachel exclaimed, running to the couch and scrambling up onto it and into House's lap, throwing her arms around Cuddy's waist when she came back and took her seat beside him, reluctantly sliding over to make room when Rachel then tried to squirm into the space between them.

"Is that really all she thinks about?" House dryly asked Cuddy in disbelief, getting her to laugh as she scooped their older daughter up, kissing her cheek noisily until Rachel giggled and squirmed.

"Sorry to interrupt," Evelyn began then, her tone somewhat teasing as her eyes hadn't missed how intimately they'd been sitting before Rachel forced them apart to include her, her daughter practically adhering herself to Greg's side, not to mention how the door had been locked, suspicious enough in itself. "But I've been sent to get counts on how much the girls will eat. Steve's got the grill ready to go."

"What are the options?" House inquired as Cuddy carefully turned herself around on the couch, sneakily settling Rachel into her lap before sinking into House's side a second later, her head landing on his shoulder before she rolled her head a little to the side to see her mother better.

Evelyn went over the menu, Evie babbling and sputtering bubbles as she waved her arms excitedly about, attention focused on her parents. House finally got to his feet after nudging Cuddy while making a guess as to what the girls would want, Cuddy also adding her opinion while House headed to Evelyn to take Evie, tossing her up into the air somewhat to get her giggling and kicking before buzzing her neck with his lips.

Cuddy followed him and her mother out of the study, smiling at how Evie was chortling now before she shut the door after them, then setting Rachel down and taking her hand. House turned back to wait for her at the sliding glass door while her mother headed outside and she smiled before leaning into him to press a kiss to Evie's cheek.

"You might want to go fix your makeup," House wryly informed her, his eyes moving over her face.

Cuddy bit her lip, cringing at the mess she'd probably made with her tears which she now thought probably hadn't made her look so sexy after all, despite her Victoria's Secret lingerie, but House almost immediately mumbled, "It's not _that bad. _Come on. Your mom didn't even mention it."

Cuddy laughed at his attempt at reassurance but then gave him a teasing look before asking, "Want to come with? You can watch me reapply my lipstick."

"Why would I want to do that?" he asked, an eyebrow quirked.

"Just thought you might want to," she nonchalantly responded, shrugging, her smile yet hovering on her lips.

"Do I have lipstick on me again?" House suspiciously asked, giving her a pointed look.

"No," Cuddy answered, shaking her head. "But if you want to, I know how to fix it so you do," she added happily.

"Go do something about your face," he just dismissively mumbled, turning for the door. Pausing though, he turned back to ask, "Want me to take Rachel?"

"No," she replied, shaking her head. "I think she better make a trip to the little girls' room too, just in case. She's had plenty to distract her up until this point. Better to remind her than risk an accident."

House just nodded, turning back to grab the door, and Cuddy watched him go before turning Rachel about with her to head back in towards the bathroom, grabbing her purse along the way.

"Not that bad," she mumbled under her breath when she saw her reflection in the mirror a minute later, shaking her head. "Yeah, right."

* * *

House headed outside with Evie, shutting the door behind him before turning to see Julia's eyes upon him. He raised an eyebrow her way but then headed towards the grill to see how things were shaping up.

"How do you like yours cooked?" Steve inquired, glancing up at him.

House told him but then turned as Julia hesitantly approached, watching her approach. "Want to hold her?" he asked, knowing that was her problem; that she both did and didn't want to. It really wasn't all that hard to figure out. He could read her just as easily as he'd read Cuddy back when she'd finally stood beside Evie's crib for the first time.

Steve turned to watch his wife and her eyes flicked to her husband before they returned to House, her head bobbing quickly in assent, releasing a breath in the process.

House readjusted his hold on Evie as he handed her over, settling her into Julia's arms while catching sight of Cuddy over her sister's shoulder as she came outside then, freezing upon seeing her sister accept Evie. House's eyes went back to Julia as she drew in a shaky breath, closing her eyes and swallowing before allowing herself to finally look at the baby in her arms, her eyes taking in every detail and her tension relaxing slightly in the fact that Evie's eyes were one of the more obvious differences between her and the baby in so many of Julia's past dreams.

The baby contentedly gummed on her fist while staring up at Julia, her baby brows drawing together in concentration as she took in the stranger before her, babbling a second later.

House stepped back, the two of them appearing to be alright with one another despite the silent tears that had begun to fill Julia's eyes as she bit her lip to hold back a cry. He pretended not to notice, turning back in time to prompt Steve back into taking care of the meat on the grill before his steak could be overcooked.

Cuddy released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been keeping pent up but then carried Rachel over to come to a stop beside her sister, not really sure of just what to say.

"She's beautiful," Julia murmured then, a hand swiping at the tears that she hadn't been successful in blinking back before she managed to give her sister a halfway decent smile.

"Thank you," Cuddy responded softly. "I… I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner…"

"It's okay," Julia interrupted dismissively, brushing it off. "It wasn't like you knew why this would affect me so strongly."

"I wish you had told me," Cuddy admitted then. "I would have been there for you Jules. I wish… our relationship had been one where you would have trusted that."

"Lisa," she responded, a hand coming up to stroke through Evie's curls absentmindedly. "Not telling you had nothing to do with you. I didn't want _anyone _to know."

House glanced back at the women behind him but then his eyes swung slowly around, noting the boys competitively playing basketball together over where their hoop was and then seeing Evelyn and Richard off to his far left. He watched Evelyn shrug Richard, who had apparently been trying to comfort her over something, away from her, walking off across the lawn, one arm around herself and the other covering her mouth, clearly very upset at present, and his eyes flicked to Richard as the other man wavered on what to do but then House shook his head and walked away from Cuddy, Julia and the girls to go in Evelyn's direction, unable to resist whatever pulled him to go check on her, even while certain he wouldn't be of much use to her. It wasn't something he thought very much about but if he had, he'd have been most struck by how bewildering it was to feel like he had two mothers to look out for, one by nature and another by seemingly having been chosen and adopted into the role of son. Even while with Stacy for a number of years, he'd never felt anything close to affection for her mother. But then the woman had basically hated him for not putting a ring on her daughter's finger which had always struck him as ironic since she didn't like him anyway and had never thought he was good enough for Stacy in the first place. Evelyn on the other hand…

"How exactly do you manage to make Richard look so terrified of you? Seriously, I could use some tips for the future, just in case," House lightly inquired after coming to stand beside her when he finally caught up with her where she'd come to a stop near the edge of the lawn.

Evelyn shakily scoffed but murmured, "It's really not that hard. Get him used to you sharing his bed, have the self-control to threaten to withhold sex for a _very _long time, then say things implying there's even a small possibility that you'd maim him permanently while he's sleeping…"

"As none of _that _is ever going to happen and I assure you, the very idea makes me want to gag, forget I asked," House quipped in distaste, evoking a small bubble of laughter from Evelyn's lips with his response.

A blanket of silence descended between them then and House waited, not so much uncomfortable as uncertain about how to ask, stealing a glance at her face before he managed quietly, "You okay?"

Evelyn drew in a ragged sob then, laughing at the same time as she tried to lighten her mood. "I'm just being a silly old woman," she managed to say as she wiped her eyes, tossing him a trembling smile.

But House shook his head, meeting her gaze. "You're a lot of things but a silly old woman isn't one of them," he mumbled, his tone revealing his discomfort all the same.

"Yeah?" she asked, the smile growing on her lips a little as she swallowed hard against the emotion clogging her throat, always appreciating this side of him that he was so loathe to show with more than a few people.

House huffed out a breath but dryly quipped, "What? You looking for compliments now? Because if you're seeking someone to extol your many virtues in a poetic way, you are looking to the wrong guy."

Evelyn laughed softly but turned serious as she broke eye contact and murmured, "I have two daughters who I love with all that is within me and when each of them went through the hardest moments of their lives, the last thing either one wanted was for me to know. What does that say about me? What kind of mother does that make me? I know I sound self-absorbed but… I never wanted to be the kind of mother they felt they _couldn't turn to _and now that I've found that's exactly who I am…"

House studied her profile in the light, watching the tears once more trek down her face as she drew in another shaky breath. Apparently this was a day for crying, he internally huffed.

"Maybe it's the highest compliment they could have given you," he somehow suggested quietly, feeling a little out of his depth even while his hand came up to rest on her shoulder as if in moral support.

Evelyn bit her lip but then looked up at him, waiting for an explanation, and House shrugged before mumbling in a low tone, "I can't speak regarding Julia but Cuddy on the other hand, well… She's strong and stubborn and doesn't like revealing weakness. She hates not having it all together. She's always been like that. Always… struggling to prove herself to the world at large. Nothing ever gets in her way. And if she can do it on her own, that's how she'll do it. She's… proud like that," House concluded momentarily before going on. "And Julia… It was obvious she didn't want to disappoint you or… drag you down alongside her. Sounds to me like she wanted to protect you. Isn't that what… _normal _people do with the ones they love most? Protect them? Anyway, you aren't giving yourself enough credit and you know it as well as I do. Cuddy would never have gotten through what she went through after Evie was born if it hadn't been for you. She never would have come to a point of wanting to be a part of Evie's life. She never would have gotten her life back together like she has. I couldn't be there for her, Evelyn. She needed _you. _Whether or not she could admit that at the time. And you were there for her. You were there when she needed you. You didn't fail. You _haven't _failed. She's a testament to that."

"You would have been there if you'd had to," Evelyn interrupted to object, glancing back at him.

House expelled his breath but shrugged again. "Maybe," he settled on saying after a moment. "But I don't know that. I called you because I felt I couldn't do it anymore and if anyone could, it would have been you."

"So even if my own daughters doubted my abilities to help them, you didn't," she said softly, only sounding a smidgeon better about it.

"Wow, I can tell my opinion of you holds a lot of weight," he dryly snarked.

Evelyn released a breathy laugh but looked up at him with a small smile.

House didn't give her time to respond though as he met her gaze and somberly said, "It's not doubt regarding your abilities to help them. Maybe it's doubt in their ability to accept your help. And insecurity over the mess they've made of things. _That _doesn't make you a failure. Besides, you're as close to perfect as perfect can be, Evelyn. There's no way any of this has any bearing on you at all. And you're not half bad looking either, considering your age," he added as if it was an afterthought, promptly getting a light smack on the arm for his comment even while Evelyn laughed once more.

"Therefore, I can only conclude whatever bad genes passed down to your daughters came from Richard's side," he included with a smirk, relieved to see her looking better for he really doubted he'd managed to say much of anything halfway helpful. "That further goes to show how perfect you are. Who else but you could put up with him all these years and not bash their head against a brick wall a long time ago?"

"You're terrible," she said with a shake of her head even as she reached out to rub his arm, but then her tone turned tender as her eyes traced over his face with obvious affection while she informed him, "Gregory House, I really am extremely fond of you."

"You look like you could kiss me right about now," he joked, shaking his head. "That would _really _make this family get-together something else. I bet there would even be fireworks."

"Speaking of kissing," Evelyn slyly interrupted, giving him a pointed look. "You and Lisa were looking rather cozy on that couch earlier."

"What can I say? Your daughter can't keep her hands to herself," he replied cheekily, giving her a smug, self-confident smirk as he hadn't in a long time.

"Hmm," she murmured, tilting her head to the side in acquiescence, her lips pursing. "Somehow I'm not all that surprised. But I was actually more interested in knowing how things are on your end. All it takes is someone watching her and the way she looks at you to know where she's at. What I want to know is: where are _you _at? Have you been able to forgive her for… any of what's happened? It's obvious you still love her. Are you…? Do you think you are interested in a future with her? Any chance I will be able to _officially _call you my son-in-law one day?"

House snorted at the number of questions she'd thrown his way but then honestly replied in a low tone of voice, "I don't know. I don't know what I've forgiven her for and what I haven't. I don't really think about it. I just deal with what I have to. But… I don't want to lose her," he finally concluded. "And as long as she's willing to wait around in hopes that it'll all work out…"

Evelyn's eyes shot open at his admission, her face quickly flooding with pleasure. She didn't give him time to finish, instead throwing her arms around him in a tight hug. "Oh Greg, that makes me _so happy. _I can't even find words to tell you how much."

House raised an eyebrow, his mouth pursing to the side as he waited for her to release him. But when she did, her facial expression was also quite… smug about something or other. He didn't have to ask though to get his answer as to why.

"Richard is looking mighty irked right now with how you apparently managed to cheer me up when I wouldn't even give him the time of day," she confided slyly.

"Grandma Cuddles," he demanded teasingly, his eyes narrowed. "Are you using me to get back at your husband?"

"Of course not," she instantly denied, her shoulders lifting and then falling again, a wide smile on her lips. "But I certainly am not about to worry about soothing his pride when I'm still angry over being kept in the dark all this time."

House shook his head but encouraged, "Give him hell," before Steve chose that moment to call them all together to grab lunch.

Evelyn leaned up and pressed a kiss to House's unsuspecting cheek before she smiled and said, "Come on. I've got to help retrieve the various fruit salads, potato salads, and dessert dishes from the fridge. I could use a man's help and since I'm not speaking to Richard, you're enlisted."

House huffed but followed her resignedly, his stomach enough to prod him on if it wasn't that Evelyn was already doing so.

* * *

"You and my mom were looking awful cozy a moment ago," Cuddy murmured probingly as she quickly occupied the seat next to him before turning to help Rachel into the next chair over.

"Jealous?" House couldn't help but tease, the corner of his mouth rising in a smirk as he popped a chip into his mouth, crunching it with relish.

She glared at him, adamantly denying, "_No!_"

"Me thinks you protest too much," he quipped under his breath, turning then to accept Evie from Evelyn who had somehow ended up with her, accepting the bottle Evie was already almost finished with a second later.

Cuddy grunted, her mouth firming, but then sighed when her mother turned away after squeezing House's shoulder with affection and admitted, "Okay, maybe I'm a little jealous. But not because I think there's really anything to be jealous of."

House snorted but then acknowledged under his breath so that no one else would overhear, "Your mom just has a hard time with the fact that neither of you felt you could go to her when she feels you needed her most. That's all. Then that Cuddy guilt you are so famous for rears its ugly head in her too and makes her feel awful for thinking about how _she _feels about everything instead of how her children are coping."

Cuddy looked her mom's way, a frown taking up residence on her lips. Sighing though, she redirected her gaze to House, her hand slipping up to squeeze his forearm. "Thank you for whatever you said to her."

House gave her a wry glance but countered, "Trust me when I say it wasn't anything _I _said."

Cuddy tilted her chin down to give him a pointed look. "You obviously said something she appreciated because… she looks happier now."

"_That_ is not something I'm responsible for bringing about," he denied, his attention turning to the steak on his plate as he grabbed his knife and fork to cut it, adjusting Evie in his lap once he'd set aside her empty bottle so that his hands were momentarily free. "She's just… pleased about the _improvements _she thinks she sees in our… relationship, or whatever," he dismissively added.

Cuddy bit her lip but then stole another glance at her mom who was currently talking with the boys before she raised herself up in her chair to lean towards him, pressing a kiss to his cheek before sitting back down.

House turned to look at her drolly but she smiled before tipping her head at his plate while he took his first bite of steak. "Is it good?" she asked.

"It'll do," he said simply, evoking an eye roll.

Evie started to fuss then and Cuddy leaned back in to take her from him, leaving him with both hands free to eat his steak since she didn't have to worry about cutting meat herself, settling Evie on her shoulder to burp her before using one hand to feed her fruit from off her plate, occasionally acquiescing to Rachel's pleading for more of what she especially liked, the small serving of potato salad on her plate remaining untouched as the little girl popped another piece of watermelon in her mouth, juice dribbling down her chin as she smiled happily at her mommy.

Cuddy reached out to wipe Rachel's chin with a napkin before it could drip to her shirt but smiled tenderly, thankful more than she could have ever imagined she would be for her time today with those she loved most in the world, which hadn't been nearly as awful as she'd assumed it would be.

* * *

To say House enjoyed watching Richard suffer while Evelyn gave him the cold shoulder all day would have been putting things mildly. Julia had tried to cajole Evelyn into breaking her vow of silence a number of times but had finally given up when her mother scolded her for taking her father's side in this, clearly not wanting to upset her mother further after the information she'd disclosed earlier that day. Evelyn had wrapped an arm around her consolingly as if to make up for scolding her, but launched into a conversation with Steve at that point and Julia had sighed while leaning into her mother's embrace, casting her dad an apologetic glance. Cuddy on the other hand did not seem bothered one iota by her mother's treatment of her father, clearly aware it was temporary and also that in her eyes, her dad _did_ in fact have it coming. She would at the very least treat House the same, had she been in her mother's shoes. She did however put in a significant amount of effort to distract him from her mother whenever she could, not heartless towards her father's misery by any means.

House ate way more than he should have but being that Evelyn kept fussing over him at regular intervals, making sure he was eating enough to satisfy _her_, it came as no surprise. By the time the fireworks started much later that night, he was more than ready to call it a day, just thankful they hadn't had to go anywhere to see them as Julia and Steve's backyard allowed them a decent view, being relatively close to the site where they were shot off from.

Evie was already out for the night before the fireworks even began so House just covered the ear that wasn't pressed to his chest with his own so that she wouldn't be disturbed by them. Rachel on the other hand was still wide awake and after the first few fireworks which did seem to scare her, she relaxed and caught on to the excitement everyone else was trying to stir up within her, jumping up and down, oohing over the pretty colors while grabbing onto Cuddy's leg and burying her head if the boom of a firework was overly loud, though House could tell there was not a chance of those cousins of hers convincing her to take one of the sparklers in hand, no matter how many times they offered.

Cuddy had been standing beside her sister, still talking in quiet tones with her when the fireworks officially began, but within a few minutes she made her way to House's side, her arm wrapping around him and resting against his back while she pressed a kiss to the sleeping baby in his arms before turning slightly, her arm resting against his once she'd dropped it to her side while her attention returned to the fireworks, one hand going down to stroke Rachel's hair whenever she startled.

"You're tired," Cuddy pointlessly acknowledged when House yawned beside her, his sleepy expression meeting hers with an eyebrow raised a second later.

"Because your mother wouldn't stop stuffing me like a pig she was fattening up for slaughter," he mumbled.

Cuddy smiled, shaking her head, but said, "Julia's going to come down for a visit in a few days so we can have some one-on-one time together."

House just nodded his acknowledgement. "Does that mean I can sleep in tomorrow?" he asked, hopeful that Cuddy wasn't planning on them all coming back by in the morning to spend more time with Julia and everyone before they left.

"I actually told my mother I'd meet her for coffee before we head back," she admitted with a wry look, her nose wrinkling. "But I was going to ask you if you'd watch the girls. You could sleep in as long as they allow you to and then maybe take them to the pool," she suggested, remembering he'd mentioned pool hours earlier that day. "We don't have to check out until eleven anyway."

House nodded his head in consent, glancing Evelyn's way before his eyes returned to the fireworks overhead.

* * *

House and Cuddy interrupted the ping pong tournament the boys were having while their grandpa and dad waited to battle whoever won, to say their goodbyes not too long after the fireworks ended.

Evelyn followed them into the house then, stopping in the kitchen to tell Julia they were heading out, who said she'd be out in a minute to say goodbye.

House led the way out with Rachel in his arms, Cuddy slipping her free arm around her mother's waist before following him with Evie. She released her mom to descend the stairs, House already at the car and in the process of opening doors.

"I love you mom," Cuddy murmured then, her thoughts back on what House had told her earlier.

"I love you too, honey," Evelyn echoed, reaching out to tenderly cup Cuddy's jaw, stroking her cheek before releasing her to turn towards House, not wanting him to settle Rachel in the car before she could hold her one last time.

"Thanks for being so sweet today," Evelyn declared teasingly as she reached up to clasp his face in her hands first, drawing his head down to press a kiss to his cheek before releasing him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he retorted, giving her a dirty look for using the word "sweet" to describe him.

Evelyn laughed at his disdain but dryly murmured, "Yes you do," before she reached for Rachel, pulling her into her arms and pressing kisses to her head before she stroked the girl's hair back and said, "Gramma loves you Rachel."

House took his sleepy oldest daughter back, rolling his eyes when she melted into him, wrapping her arms around him as best she could, a barely discernable, "Love you," returned in response to her grandma's statement before he turned to place her in her car seat.

Cuddy then adjusted Evie in her arms so that her mom could lean in and press a kiss to Evie's soft cheek as well, stroking her skin for a second before making eye contact with her daughter. "Nine o'clock?" she double-checked.

"I'll be there," Cuddy confirmed, accepting her mother's kiss to her own cheek before making her way about the car to carefully lower Evie into her own car seat.

Evelyn stepped back then, allowing Julia who had just come outside to lean in once House had backed out of the way, kissing Rachel's forehead briefly as the little girl was already out. She went around the car then and did the same with Evie, hesitating just a split second before pulling her sister into her embrace, squeezing her wordlessly.

"You are going to come down, right?" Cuddy asked when Julia released her, frowning.

Julia smiled but nodded. "I'll even follow you around at the hospital while you work if I have to," she teased.

"I'll make time for us," Cuddy promised though.

"See you, Jr. Cuddy," House said then, already opening his door.

Cuddy glanced his way and smiled while Julia rolled her eyes. Then she made a brief flourish of her hand as if to wave, shaking her head when he climbed into the car and shut the door without further comment.

Turning her attention back to her sister, she eyed Lisa but then said thoughtfully, "You're happier with him than you were with Lucas. It goes all the way to your eyes now. You look at him and… they sparkle. Thinking about it today, I'm not sure I've ever seen you as wrapped up in someone else as you are in him; at least not since back when you brought him for Christmas all those years ago. I'm happy for you."

"We still have a ways to go," Cuddy absentmindedly murmured, glancing at the car behind her.

"I was watching him tonight," Julia confessed pointedly. "Trust me when I say he seems just as caught up in you as you are in him. He just… shows it differently."

Cuddy gave her sister an appraising look, but House started the ignition then, rolling down her window a second later to dryly inquire, "You coming?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes at his impatience but reached out to hug her sister again before releasing her to reach for the door, opening it and climbing in before waving at her sister and mother who was watching from the porch. Then she reached for her seatbelt, buckling up before turning to look at House, shaking her head before nodding her permission to pull away from the curb.

* * *

House came out of the bathroom forty-five minutes later after his shower to find Cuddy biting her lip while she tenderly looked upon Rachel, who was out cold, in the dim light radiating from the lamp between the beds, the overhead light already turned off. He chuckled at seeing Rachel sprawled out in the center of the bed she and Cuddy would be sharing.

Cuddy's tender look transformed into one of being slightly put out as House jibed, "Bet it will be fun sleeping with her tonight."

She wrinkled her nose and narrowed her eyes before dryly murmuring, "Yeah, right. Have you seen how she's taken to reverting in the bed in the middle of the night so her head is where her feet should be?" Cuddy shook her head, sighing before continuing, "Plus she wiggles so much I'll either end up being pushed off the bed or having to get up and go around to climb in on the other side."

"_Oh,_" he mocked in an annoying falsetto that people use when talking about their pets. "She can't be _that _bad. _Look at her_."

"You sleep with her then," she retorted with a droll smile. "Evie and I will share the other bed."

House snorted and shook his head. "Nope. Not gonna happen. In the off-chance that she does flail about, the last thing I want is my leg finding itself in her way."

Cuddy harrumphed and then dryly intoned, "Sure. Playthe cripple card."

"Well, maybe you'll learn a lesson from this," he replied.

Cuddy frowned suspiciously but finally bit. "And what lesson would that be?"

"To think twice before you take the next poor sod's muscle out," House answered with a smirk.

"I savedyour life," she stated defensively, her chin coming up in the air. She would have folded her arms over her chest if it wasn't that she had Evie there, asleep but still drinking her bottle.

"Uh-huh," House muttered, enjoying the opportunity to pick on her again.

Cuddy huffed, blowing her bangs up and out of her face before heading over to House's bed with Evie, sitting up against the headboard and giving him a pointed look that just dared him to try and make her move. House eyed her but then headed back into the bathroom to rifle his wet hair with the towel before haphazardly hanging it up on the towel rack, reaching for his toothbrush. When he came back out he grabbed the remote, turning on the TV and adjusting the volume before channel surfing, sprawling out on his side of the bed as he and Cuddy sat and watched TV together in silence that was only punctuated by the TV's noise, Rachel's deep breathing, and Evie's drags on her bottle.

An hour later, he shut the TV off and got up, going over to set up the playpen she hadn't even noticed he'd brought along. House noticed the look she was giving him and said, "That bed is _all mine. _I fully intend to sprawl out on it like Rachel is doing on yours."

Cuddy pouted but surrendered Evie to him when he approached, taking her from Cuddy before turning to lower her gently into the playpen, covering her with a blanket the next second before he made one last trip to the bathroom.

Cuddy got up then, sighing in resignation before rifling through the overnight bag she'd brought, pulling out what she needed before heading into the bathroom when he vacated it.

House wasted no time climbing into bed, his exhaustion finally coming back to him as his eyes closed. Five minutes later the bathroom door creaked but he didn't bother opening his eyes as he heard Cuddy move about the room. At least, not until she moved the blankets out of her way and sank down on the opposite edge of the bed, hitting the light before muttering, "Move over. You are so sharing with me."

House lifted his head off the pillow, waiting for his eyes to adjust enough to see her while his forehead drew together. "No," he whined. "Go sleep in the other bed."

"No," she retorted, nudging herself against him to indicate he better scoot over. "I've had a stressful day. I want a good night's sleep too. Not one involving being kicked. Now move."

"You didn't have a stressful day," he intoned sharply, his expression in the dark echoing his skepticism. "It wasn't half as bad as you were counting on it being."

But Cuddy ignored him, pulling her legs up before straightening them, lying down in the next second and tugging the second pillow away from him before settling it under her head.

House huffed but moved over, seeing she wasn't going to take no for an answer. Smug that she'd obviously gotten her way, she turned on her side, away from him, only to scoot back until she'd closed the gap between them.

House watched her wiggle closer under the blankets with an eyebrow raised and yanked at them to make sure she didn't take more than her share before he stretched his arms up, placing them below his head. "Bed-robber," he accusingly mumbled.

"Sheet-hogger," she retorted.

"You better not molest me in my sleep," he warned snidely then.

"Wouldn't dream of it," she huffed out, thankful he couldn't see her pout as she continued moving, working an arm under her pillow.

House fell quiet, first annoyed by her continual squirming and then distracted completely as her bare leg came back, slipping smoothly along the length of his calf before she apologized, genuinely meaning it, and drew it back away from him.

"Cuddy," House mumbled after almost two minutes had passed, causing her to freeze beside him, despite not yet being satisfied with her positioning.

"Hmm?" she prompted when he didn't continue, readjusting her head on the pillow beside his so her hair would be out of her way.

"About earlier…" he began hesitantly, his words then falling off.

"Yes?" she encouraged, now adjusting the blanket over her so it fell in a straight line over her back, side, and chest.

"I just want you to know…" House said only to pause, swallowing before continuing. "My lack of a response… It isn't a reflection on… you physically."

Cuddy stopped moving as her lips turned up in a smile but she couldn't help but carefully ask, "No?"

"No," he acknowledged gruffly, not knowing why this was so hard for him to just say. Expelling his breath though he finally finished, "I thought you were beautiful the first day I saw you but time has only improved on your looks. You're… Well, you're stunning now. And your body is… perfection."

It took some doing after the effort she'd put into tucking the sheets about her as she had but Cuddy eventually managed to flip over to face him, scooting even closer than she'd already been, her hand coming up to trace the side of his face. "Thank you," she murmured, trying to breathe normally after he'd just taken her breath away with his unanticipated assurances.

"No, _thank you_," he managed to quip, the corner of his mouth rising into a smirk even as his eyebrows waggled.

Cuddy laughed softly under her breath but then propped herself up enough to hover over him and bring her mouth to his, pressing a sound kiss to his lips before lying back down, not turning away from him.

House turned on his side, facing her, and she watched him as his eyes moved over her face before his hand came up to tuck her hair back behind her ear. "Night Cuddy," he mumbled then, his hand returning to his side.

"Night House," she softly murmured, her eyes watching him as he closed his eyes, following his example a second later, a smile stealing over her lips at just how far they truly had come.

* * *

House woke up briefly in the middle of the night as the bed shifted slightly with the addition of another little body crawling in. He opened a bleary eye to find Rachel had woken up and was now trying to squeeze into the small space between him and Cuddy, who had turned back over at some point and now had her back to his chest, his arm draped around her and resting on her belly despite not being able to remember how that had come into being, not that he remembered her turning over either.

He lifted his hand from her in order to reach for Rachel, scooting back slightly to fit her in, situating her so that her back was up against his chest, only inches separating her from Cuddy. House tucked Rachel's hair out of the way so that it wouldn't be in his mouth hours from now and then closed his eyes, the little girl already asleep. He probably could have gotten up and moved to the now vacant queen-size bed beside his but he was too exhausted to do so and didn't want to risk disturbing Rachel or Cuddy anyhow. His eyes opened a moment later though when Cuddy's hand reached back behind her to find his, pulling it across the gap to rest once more against her belly, apparently not as out of it as he'd assumed. House smirked but left it splayed where she'd placed it, going back to sleep only seconds later.

* * *

"_**You're in my arms and all the world is calm  
The music playing on for only two…  
So close together  
And when I'm with you  
So close to feeling alive…**_

_**As life goes by  
Romantic dreams must die  
So I bid mine goodbye  
And never knew…  
So close was waiting  
Waiting here with you  
And now forever I know  
All that I wanted  
Was to hold you, so close...**_

_**So close to reaching  
That famous happy end  
And almost believing  
This one's not pretend and  
Now you're beside me  
And look how far we've come…  
So far, we are, so close...**_

_**Oh how could I face the faceless days  
If I should lose you now?  
We're so close  
To reaching that famous happy end and  
Almost believing this one's not pretend  
Let's go on dreaming**_

_**For we know we are…  
So close…  
So close…  
And still so far..."**_

* * *

Song: "So Close" (Jon McLaughlin)


	106. A Beautiful Mess

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Wow! It kinda turned into an uber-long chapter without that being my intention. Sorry I couldn't upload faster than today! Thanks to Belladionne for the song suggestion. I hope you enjoy this chapter! It's... kind of a beautiful mess in itself. :)__)_

* * *

July 5th, 2011

House felt the bed shift and lifted his head to blearily watch Cuddy climb out, casting a glance down at Rachel who was still sound asleep beside him before returning his eyes to Cuddy. He blinked several times when he saw what she'd gone to bed in, a shimmery soft pink camisole top and matching shorts that barely covered the top halves of her thighs, the ensemble trimmed with white lace that… looked like icing and made him briefly think it made her look like she was meant to be dessert. He was definitely not awake yet if he could compare her to dessert, he absently thought to himself.

House dropped his head back onto the pillow after shaking his head to clear it, rolling slightly to the side to be more on his back as he glanced at the clock before blinking up at the ceiling. Cuddy heard him adjust on the bed as she started to move away and glanced over her shoulder to see him as he rubbed a hand over his face. She smiled and turned towards the bed once again, leaning over to place her right hand on his left calf just below his knee, her thumb stroking the muscle as her hand slid down the side of his calf through the blankets towards his foot as she whispered, "Sorry I woke you. I'm going to take a shower but then I'll be out of here. Go back to sleep," she encouraged before she removed her hand and turned again to reach for her overnight bag, opting to just carry it with her into the bathroom, stealing a glance down into the playpen and then smiling softly to see Evie sound asleep, rump up in the air.

"Tell your mom I know people who know people, if she needs help disposing of his body," House mumbled groggily before his head fell to the side and away from her, expelling a ragged breath thick with slumber the next moment, eyes already closed, weariness pulling him back in the direction of sleep even as Cuddy finally processed what he was talking about before shaking her head, smiling, then walking away. House vaguely heard the door to the bathroom close behind her but by the time the shower started up a minute later he'd already slipped into unconsciousness once more.

* * *

Cuddy drove to meet her mother, brushing her hair back behind an ear as she looked over her shoulder before switching lanes. It had been hard to leave the hotel room without going back over to the bed, the temptation to watch House sleep a moment before pressing a kiss goodbye to his mouth only too present. But somehow she'd managed to restrain herself. He'd been out cold and she hadn't wanted to risk waking him up again when he'd clearly been hoping to sleep in and there was no promise that the girls would allow him to anyway, though the way Rachel had been curled up into his side probably meant _she _would at least sleep in, snuggling against someone always leading to her sleeping longer. Evie on the other hand… There was no guarantee there.

Hitting the turn signal, she turned right and into the Starbucks parking lot, pulling into the empty parking space beside her mother's car once she'd spotted it. It was a good thing coffee was waiting within, she thought to herself as she yawned while shutting off the ignition.

A minute later she pushed the door open and entered Starbucks, spotting her mother at a table by the window and giving her a smile as she made her way over.

"Morning mom," she greeted, setting her purse down on the table before leaning over to press a kiss to her mom's cheek.

"Morning dear," Evelyn responded, accepting her kiss. "I didn't know what you'd want to drink so…"

Cuddy laughed as her mom held up a ten dollar bill for her to take but didn't accept it as she said, "Thanks mom. But I'm going to use my Starbucks card. Rewards, you know. As often as I come here…"

Evelyn gave her a "Suit yourself" look as she shrugged but then reached for her purse to return the bill to her wallet while Cuddy retrieved her Starbucks card, heading for the counter a second later to place her order. Four minutes later she was back drink in hand and slid her chair out to take a seat beside her mother.

"So," she began with a smile and an eyebrow raised. "Do you need help burying the body? House wanted me to tell you he 'knows people who know people.'"

Evelyn harrumphed but smiled before shaking her head, taking a sip of her own coffee as Cuddy did the same. "Tell him thanks for the offer but there might come a time when I need Richard around just so that I can continue benefiting from his social security checks," she quipped after swallowing.

Cuddy smiled at her mother but then turned more serious and asked, "Are you okay?"

Evelyn's face cleared before she gave her daughter a bright smile. "Of course, honey. You don't have to worry about me. I'm just fine. I want to know how _you _are doing?"

Cuddy's eyes narrowed, her lips pressing against each other before she parted them to rebuke, "Mom, you don't get to pull this with me. I seriously want to know how you are. And don't bother trying to tell me you're fine because I won't believe you. I saw you yesterday. You weren't _fine. _And anyway, House told me you were struggling," she finished, her tone softening though her eyes remained pointedly focused on her mother.

"That rat," Evelyn murmured grumpily under her breath, her mask slipping as she pouted, shaking her head.

Cuddy laughed then, her eyes lighting up. "He didn't say much," she admitted with a shrug. "Just mentioned that you felt bad that neither one of us had come to you. _Voluntarily,_" she added, thinking of how her mom had been pulled into her situation last October.

Evelyn sighed, pursing her lips, but then said wryly with a modicum of acceptance, "Well, at least that means there's a line of communication open there between you two. But you tell Greg for me that he's in trouble all the same."

"I will," Cuddy agreed easily, almost positive that she'd do no such thing because there was no way she wanted to discourage him from telling her any of the little things he told her despite not having to. "Now talk to me, mom," she redirected.

Evelyn shook her head, clearly not wanting to, but then looked away before resignedly asking, "Was I really such a bad mother as that; as to make you girls feel you couldn't come to me with things?"

Cuddy tipped her head purposely and stared at her mother. "Of course not," she said dryly a second later. "You were a wonderful mother. Didn't the card I gave you for Mother's Day say just that?" she teased.

"_Lisa_, those cards are made by people who make it their business to know what mothers want to hear; what they want to _believe,_" Evelyn countered. "I am asking you to tell me the _truth_. Not to make me feel good about myself."

"But mom, that _is_ the truth," Cuddy asserted, taking another sip from her coffee. "You are and always have been a wonderful mother. In Steve's study yesterday, House even referred to you as a saint. And the truth is," she huffed in feigned annoyance, "He's right. You're pretty close. Anyway, my biggest complaint with you is how much you think of _him_. And seriously, that's not even something to complain about. Any sane daughter would be crazy not to want her mother to adore her… the man she loves," she amended, not having an appropriate term for House's relationship with her mother, "as you do House. Even if you do take his side over mine at times," she pouted, knowing her mom would understand that she was just picking on her and not genuinely offended, nor accusing her of having a preference.

"I am extremely fond of him," Evelyn acquiesced with an affectionate smile, clearly thinking of House now.

"I know," Cuddy murmured with a responding smile, setting her coffee down to place her elbow on the table, palm supporting her chin, while she bobbed her head in accordance.

Evelyn breathed out through her nose but then frowned before asking, "Well, is that it then?"

"Is what 'it'?" Cuddy asked, straightening back up in her chair, not following.

"Did I present myself as perfect? I mean, obviously I'm not perfect but, did I make you girls feel like I never messed up and could do no wrong? Is that why neither one of you chose to come to me? You didn't think I would understand? You didn't think I could relate and therefore you didn't want to open up with me?" Evelyn pursued. "You find me self-righteous?"

"What? No! _Mom!_" Cuddy admonished. "Not at all!"

Evelyn stared at her fretfully but then leaned in towards her, placing her cup on the table before quietly murmuring so that no one else in the coffee shop would hear, "Honey, I got a call from Greg out of the blue last October to tell me you needed me and showed up at his house the next morning to find you'd kept me in the dark throughout a pregnancy and the birth of my newest grandbaby who you wanted nothing to do with and wanted no one else to know about, while _you _were severely depressed and by the time Greg called me, ready to give up on living completely. If it had been up to you, I would _never _have known. And yesterday I find out my _other_ daughter had an abortion twenty years ago, suffered _terribly _because of it_, _and yet again, would never have had me know except that your revelation about Georgia provoked a reaction in her that dredged it all back up, bringing it into the open. Two major events in the lives of my daughters that force me to question why I wasn't present when I was needed most. I don't mean to make this all about me. Honestly I don't. But… If I've messed up somewhere and you girls have suffered for it, I _want _to know and I want to…"

"_Mom_," Cuddy rushed to interject. "None of what happened with either Julia or me had _anything _to do with you. None of it was your fault and you didn't screw up at all! Come on, the minute House called you, you came! But frankly, I'll tell you right now the way you're trying to take responsibility and the blame for us having obscured things from you would certainly have lent itself as an argument _against_ telling you. Neither one of us would want you to feel this way," she finished, giving her mother a pointed look.

Evelyn sighed but shook her head before acknowledging, "Honey, I know I can't protect you from what life throws your way. I do. Or even the consequences of your decisions at times. But Lisa, I wish you would have allowed me in sooner. Maybe… Maybe if you had, we could have acted faster. Maybe you wouldn't have missed out on the first six months of Georgia's life. Maybe you wouldn't have suffered quite so much and Greg…"

Cuddy expelled her own breath but interrupted, "Mom, I would love to change the past but I _can't_. Nor can you. As for House and I… Well, we're doing fine. We're making progress. And you know… I really do believe we'll be better people because of all we went through. I have to believe that. And that… when we finally reach the point of being '_together, _together', we'll know how to love one another better because of it; we certainly understand one another a lot more now than we ever did before. Though… there are still some subjects we… haven't been able to work through yet," she concluded with a grimace.

"Such as…?" Evelyn prompted.

Cuddy bit her lip and closed her eyes briefly before murmuring with a frown, "Lucas, for one. That's a subject that is off limits, as far as House is concerned. You saw how quickly he excused himself when Julia brought him up yesterday."

"He's got some deep wounds when it comes to Lucas, honey," Evelyn agreed with a nod. "Knowing that you would have wanted and loved Georgia right from the start if Lucas had been her father…, blaming himself for being the reason she didn't have a mommy in her life for so long because he wasn't who you wanted…, wasn't _enough _of what you wanted… What do you do when the woman you love tells everyone the child you share but which she doesn't want anything to do with was stillborn? Those things… cut him deeply. And he loved you so much, which made it all the worse. It made your rejection of him sting all the more," she gently explained.

Cuddy nodded, rubbing a hand over her face. "I know," she resignedly admitted.

"Did he tell you that… the day you told everyone at PPTH she was stillborn, he… he came by the house? That he was there when you came home? That he… he saw you kiss Rachel on your way inside and it tore him apart because he wanted that so badly for Georgia as well?"

Cuddy looked pained but shook her head. "He doesn't generally talk about… the past and what happened unless he has no choice or I bring it up or… touch a sore spot."

"Well, don't tell him I told you," Evelyn said softly. "I just wanted you to know that… whether or not he says it, he's glad that you're involved now. He's wanted that from the start."

"I know," Cuddy agreed. Moistening her lips and inhaling, she glanced out the window but then divulged, "There was a board meeting at PPTH last Friday. I planned to publically disclose the truth regarding Evie and… what I'd done to House, once the meeting started. House found out about it the night before though and… Well, I didn't know he knew. I didn't want him to know because… we'd never talked about what I'd told everyone and I… didn't want to reopen that wound until whatever came out of the board meeting was over and done with. The board meeting started and I was just about to begin when House walked in. He… lied to them. He took the blame for what I did, twisting the facts to… protect me from any consequences that might have come my way in the aftermath."

Evelyn's head tilted to the side, her expression tender and sympathetic, but pained all the same. Cuddy told her the details then of what had taken place, finding herself wiping tears away and receiving a Kleenex from her mom immediately thereafter.

"He loves you very much," Evelyn murmured when Cuddy fell silent, in the process of blowing her nose. "He's done what he could to protect you as much as possible, right from day one."

Cuddy nodded her agreement after a moment. "I just wish I could explain Lucas to him," she murmured with a shrug. "I wish I could gain his trust and… have him understand that it really is _him _I want."

"That'll come in time," Evelyn reassured. "He might not be ready to talk about Lucas but he's not running from you, Lisa. That says a lot. And as for him trusting you, he wants to. He's just afraid of being hurt again. There's a lot of hurt still within him that needs healing. I'll tell you this though. He admitted to me yesterday that he doesn't want to lose you. That says a lot, both in him feeling that way and sharing that with me. It wasn't too long ago that he was leery of you and had every intention of keeping you at a distance because he couldn't allow you to get too close. He might still have an obstacle course and a few walls up to guard his heart, but they've grown thinner in the last month; I can tell."

Cuddy was a bit choked up by the admission on her mom's part and what House had told her, visibly touched and grateful that her mom had opted to share this. "He told me he didn't want me going anywhere, yesterday in Steve's study."

"Well, there you have it," Evelyn said happily. "If he's even willing to tell _you _that much, he's showing a great deal of vulnerability. That says progress like nothing else."

Cuddy nodded once more before giving her mom a grateful smile. "See what a help you are to me? Now how could I ask for a better mom than you? You've encouraged me in this from the start." Turning serious, she said, "But mom, I am sorry I wasn't willing to confide in you sooner. I really am. I just… needed time to get to a place where I could have you know all the mistakes I'd made along the way and accept your help. And as mad as I was at House for calling you, he knew you were exactly who I needed in that moment. You gave me the pushes I needed to get to this point, in the exact moments in which I needed them. That means more to me than you'll ever know."

Evelyn's eyes filled with tears, which triggered the same reaction in Cuddy's, and then they were both getting to their feet to come together, embracing one another tightly.

"I love you mom," Cuddy mumbled against her mom's shoulder.

"Oh honey, I love you ever so much. And I am ever so proud of you," Evelyn murmured back, moving her head back to press kisses to Cuddy's head. "I want you to know that."

"Thanks mom," Cuddy brokenly managed, pulling back a second later to wipe at her eyes and give her mother a tremulous smile.

Evelyn dug in her purse for another Kleenex and blew her nose as well, laughing softly.

"Do you feel better?" Cuddy asked with a probing gaze, eyes narrowed in analysis.

Evelyn nodded. "Greg said you're proud and stubborn. He said that you don't like revealing weakness; that you are and always have been out to prove yourself. He said I can't take it personally that you didn't come to me because basically… it's not in your genetic makeup. He said I didn't fail you because I was there when you needed me to be," she concluded with a wry smile.

"There you have it," Cuddy replied with a shake of her head, huffing. "Straight from someone with a very high IQ. As annoying as it is to have him be right and to know me so well, House knows what he's talking about. You didn't fail me mom. Just… do me a favor and pretend like you didn't hear me say House was right," she added teasingly. "I have to be able to live with him _and _his ego."

"Secret's safe with me," Evelyn agreed, making a motion as if she was zipping her lips.

"Are you on speaking terms with dad yet?" Cuddy inquired then, picking up her coffee to take it with her as her mother reached for her purse, the two of them heading out to their cars a second later.

Evelyn scrunched her nose as her eyes narrowed. "I'm not done ignoring him," she replied pointedly. "He's kept his mouth shut about Julia for twenty years. I think he can handle a few days of silence on my part."

Cuddy pressed her lips together and shook her head but smiled before wrapping her arm around her mother's waist, accompanying her across the parking lot to their cars before giving her a kiss goodbye, knowing she was cutting it close to check-out time as it was and ready to see what her man and babies had been up to in her absence.

* * *

"Daddy, hurry up!" Rachel impatiently demanded, stomping a foot where she stood in her swimming suit and arm floaties beside the door while House struggled to right the straps on Evie's swimsuit, the baby complaining as well, wiggling about on the bed and trying to crawl off across it.

He expelled a breath but determined the straps were about as good as he was going to get them at present before catching the baby and lifting her up, settling her against his shoulder before reaching for their towels where Cuddy had set them on the bed, along with the girls' swimsuits, before she'd left that morning, House sleeping through all of it.

"Alright," he huffed as he caught the frown Rachel threw his way before turning to try and open the hotel door, something she was unsuccessful in attempting.

He shook his head but reached for the knob, turning it and holding it open with his foot before checking his pocket to make sure he had the room key, his wallet, and phone. Rachel did not pause, already running out the door and down the hallway, and he stepped out of the hotel room, the door shutting behind him, following her to the elevator.

Rachel beamed up at him when the elevator door opened and he rolled his eyes at how quickly her impatience had dissipated now that they were on their way, while stepping in and hitting the button to descend. Rachel went running off in the wrong direction the minute the elevator opened and he had to call her back, tipping his head in the direction they had to go to find the pool, passing the gift shop before they continued onward, locating the door to the pool area a minute later.

"No running," he solemnly informed her, refusing to open the door until her eyes met his. "The floor is going to be wet. You'll fall if you aren't careful."

Rachel nodded hurriedly and House snorted but opened the door all the same, thankful that she looked back up at him cautiously before tentatively walking into the room, her pace quickening however when she saw the pool and instantly forgot all about what he said. At least she didn't fall though, he thought to himself before dropping their things on a chair, thankful to see the pool was deserted at present and there didn't seem to be many wet spots on the floor.

Rachel waited for him by the steps going into the pool, not wanting to get in trouble but anxiously jumping up and down while her daddy set her sister down on the chair, removing his phone, wallet, and hotel key from the pocket of his swim shorts before tugging his t-shirt up and over his head, wrapping his things up within it afterwards.

He glanced at Rachel, noting she looked like he was killing her by moving so slow, and smiled before reaching down to pick Evie back up, mumbling, "We're coming," before heading in her direction, taking her hand while she used the other one to hold onto the rail, practically leaping down each step and tugging on House with each jump. And then she released his hand and launched herself in the water and he took the last step quickly but carefully just in case he had to grab her, but the arm floaties actually did their job and he watched, shaking his head as she bobbed slightly in the water, kicking about.

House turned his attention to the baby then, the water only coming up to his hips, and moved her away from him before bobbing her down into the water, watching her eyes widen and her mouth drop open as the water came up to her belly before House lifted her back out.

"It's c-c-c-cold," Rachel stuttered a moment later, causing him to glance her way as she paddled around him, lower lip trembling.

"It's not _that_ cold," he retorted, mouth pursed and eyebrows gathered.

"Yes it is," she argued, reaching him now, arms encircling his waist as best she could and making him cringe as her wet skin made him cold as well, her little legs wrapping around his bad thigh but not actually hurting him.

He adjusted Evie so that she straddled his side and then managed to snag Rachel to pull her higher, her legs releasing him to clasp him around his waist when he had her high enough. Moving then, his teeth clenched against the cold water dripping off Rachel and down his skin, he made his way closer to the wall before relaxing his jaw and dipping the three of them in to help them adjust faster, Evie gasping, her feet kicking against him as he submerged her to her chest, straightening only to do it again.

Rachel released him a minute later, no longer shivering, and moved about an arm's reach from him, House not allowing her more space than that while he bent his head to rub his scruff against Evie's neck, the baby already chortling about the water but now giggling, her face scrunching up before she turned her head to look at the water, batting at it.

Evie had woken up about a half hour after Cuddy had left and House had resignedly gotten up, dressing the girls before they went down to grab a quick breakfast, Evie in his arms drinking her bottle along the way. Then they'd headed back to the room to change into swimsuits before going to the pool, making it there by 9:30. He glanced at the clock and figured they could hang out in the pool until maybe 10:15 before he should get them back to the room to change out of swimsuits and into clothes for the trip home. Hopefully Cuddy would be back in time to take over with the girls so that he could grab their stuff and throw it all in the car.

Turning, he snaked out a hand and grabbed Rachel's foot, slowly dragging her back towards him before she could escape, Rachel giggling as she worked harder to paddle away, forcing House to blink along with Evie when her other foot kicked out and sprayed water right up into their faces.

* * *

Cuddy reached for her cell phone, hitting the talk button before glancing to see who it was.

"Hi dad," she said as she settled it against her shoulder, holding it in place with her cheek.

"Hey baby," he replied, his tone conveying that he was preoccupied about something.

"What's up?" she prompted, taking the turn to head back to the hotel.

"I just… wanted to know how your mother is doing," Richard inquired resignedly.

Cuddy bit back a smile but admitted, "I think she's doing much better."

Richard said nothing for a moment but then confessed, clearly upset, "She was crying last night but… when I reached for her, she shrugged me away and scooted to the farthest part of the bed. Not talking to me I can handle but she won't even let me comfort her. It's killing me. I only found out she was meeting you this morning because I overheard her tell Julia on her way out of the house."

"But Julia knew last night dad, so reminding her with you present was more for your benefit than hers," Cuddy pointed out, showing compassion for her poor father who had admittedly been put in a bad place by Julia swearing him to silence. "Don't worry too much. She's doing better. Between what House said to her last night and my talk with her this morning, she's alright. Just give her some time. She had a bomb dropped on her yesterday and… finding out that you knew and didn't tell her… Well, it's not like you didn't know she'd be mad at you if she ever found out, right?"

Richard expelled a weary breath but mumbled, "Yeah."

"When do you have to check out?" he asked then, figuring his oldest daughter couldn't really reassure him any more than she had.

"At eleven," she replied before adding, "Mom should be walking through Julia's front door any minute now. I left her about ten minutes ago."

"Okay, well I'll let you go. Your mom will kill me if I keep you when you're driving," he muttered wryly. "You take care and give me a call tonight to let me know you made it home without problem."

Cuddy laughed but agreed, "I will," before saying her goodbyes. Shaking her head as she pulled into the hotel parking lot, she sighed, thinking over what her dad had said and then about her conversation with her mother. Anxious to get inside and wrap her arms around her family, she pulled into the first parking spot she found and then headed inside.

* * *

House looked up as Cuddy reentered their hotel room and smiled wryly as she swooped Evie out of his arms, swinging the baby about as she exclaimed, "Oh, I love you so much!", following it up with a peppering of kisses to Evie's cheeks while the baby giggled and blinked, one fist in her mouth, drool running down her hand and all the more as she laughed, delighted with her mommy's exuberance.

Cuddy bent down then as Rachel threw herself into her mommy's arms and she pressed kisses to Rachel's face as well, not about to leave her out, stroking her fingers through her damp hair which still needed to be brushed. "And I love you like crazy too!" she declared, giving her another resounding kiss.

Rachel laughed happily, hopping about as her mommy straightened back up only to turn to an unsuspecting House, burying her face into the center of his chest and pressing a kiss there, one arm wrapping around him as she sighed contentedly, murmuring, "And I love you to the point of _insanity_; to the point where taking my clothes off in my brother-in-law's study to try and communicate just how crazy I am for you makes _complete sense_; to the point where I'd… shout that I love you from the balcony at PPTH in a heartbeat if you asked me to."

House scoffed incredulously as he looked down at her before glancing to Evie who was also up against his chest, balanced on Cuddy's hip. He shook his head but the corner of his mouth lifted incrementally before he advised in a wry mumble, "I'd wait on that if I were you. Might want to give people a chance to adjust to the announcement of Evie's existence and my parentage before you give them further cause to question whether you might benefit from a trip to the funny farm."

Cuddy laughed against him but then leaned back to look up and see his face. "You're still wet," she pointed out affectionately then, his swim trunks having dampened her clothes while she embraced him.

"Good observational skills, Sherlock," he dryly muttered as she released him. "I had to change two kids out of wet, clingy swimsuits. Without any help at all I might add. I haven't exactly had time to get dressed. Now that you're here though, you can take over with them and give me five minutes to change without someone banging on the door, wanting to be in the bathroom with me."

"You better not be referring to me," she mumbled, narrowing her eyes at him.

House reached for the clothes he'd set on the bed to change into, the corner of his mouth rising into a crooked grin as he glanced back to meet her eyes, not commenting as he then walked past her.

She harrumphed as the bathroom door closed, further put out when the lock clicked behind him. She didn't miss the chuckle that came from the other side of the door though.

* * *

Erika opened her front door shortly after coming home from work and stepped back, allowing House to come in. "How was your trip?" she asked, watching him as he entered.

"Short, which I'm only too grateful for," he mumbled as if annoyed.

Erika laughed under her breath but the corner of his mouth rose, telling her that it hadn't been that bad and she shook her head before saying, "Cookie Monster is in the kitchen."

"Trevor?" House asked over his shoulder, leading the way.

"Having pizza at a friend's house," she informed him.

"And Wilson?" he asked then, remembering that they hadn't talked yet when he'd dropped Cookie Monster off with her before heading out of town.

"Stuck at the hospital with a patient," Erika supplied, barking filling the air then as Cookie Monster had heard House's voice and couldn't escape his confines to track him.

Erika laughed as Cookie Monster came into sight, jumping up against the gate, paws moving frantically to try and get free.

House smirked, reaching forward to pull him out, giving her a droll look when the dog immediately began licking at his hands and face, still barking excitedly, tail moving a mile a minute. "Mangy mutt," he complained though he didn't set the dog down, instead moving his head back and out of Cookie Monster's range.

"He's happy to see you," Erika scolded, reaching out to scratch the dog's ears before looking up at House.

"And who wouldn't be?" he quipped before changing topics to prompt, "So you and Wilson…?"

She snorted but smiled and said, "We're fine. He came over yesterday with flowers and take-out from my favorite restaurant so I let him in."

"Did you let him grovel?" House inquired with a smirk.

But Erika shook her head, rolling her eyes. "It's not like he bailed on my birthday or something. We just didn't see things the same way and had a disagreement. If he was willing to accept that I wasn't about to apologize for using my best judgment as I saw fit last Thursday night, I had no interest in making a bigger deal out of his… bad attitude and temporary avoidance because of it. It's not like we're not on the same side."

House harrumphed but said no more, letting it go.

"Here, let me take him," Erika said then, reaching for Cookie Monster.

He turned the dog over to her willingly enough.

"Okay, now your hands are free to carry all his things," she said with an overly sweet smile, causing House to scowl. "Don't look at me like that. You're the one who brought everything over here as if you were giving him to me _permanently_."

House narrowed his eyes at her but huffed, picking up the supplies she'd gathered, placing them inside the crate to make it easier. He'd have to make another trip to grab the pen but at least she was willing to follow him next door with the dog.

"Where's Rachel?" she asked then, following him to the front door. "I thought for sure she'd come with you to get him."

He glanced back at her but said, "She fell asleep in the car right before we got home and had just woken up when I slipped out of the house."

Erika nodded. "So the family thing went fine?" she asked again as they crossed the lawn.

"Yeah," he answered without expanding further.

Erika shook her head but gave up, opening his garage door into the house before walking in ahead of him. "Hello?" she called out, just to give Lisa a heads up that she was coming in, evoking a snort from House at what he felt was unnecessary.

She glanced back at him but then Rachel's feet were heard running across the kitchen floor and she smiled just as the little girl flew around the corner into the back hallway, shouting, "Cookie Monster!"

The dog fought to get out of her arms and escaped before she could get a better grip on him, scrambling across the floor and practically knocking Rachel over as she fell into the wall, the puppy jumping up on her and licking at her face before barking again. But Rachel was too happy to see him and didn't seem to be any worse for wear when Erika did manage to catch Cookie Monster and held him back in hopes of calming him down, Rachel moving forward to place her hand before the puppy to be licked, giggling when he did just that.

House bypassed them with his hands full of the dog's things and almost crashed right into Cuddy as she came around the corner with Evie.

Cuddy smiled up at him, stepping back to let him pass, and then focused on Erika, Evie squealing at the sight of the excited puppy. "Hey Erika. Thanks for watching Cookie Monster for us. How did it go? Was he good for you?" she asked, kneeling down so that Evie too could see the puppy.

"He was perfect," Erika reassured, returning Lisa's smile. "He might have barked while we were gone today. I'm not sure. But yesterday night Trevor, James, and I took him to the park. He went into his crate when we got home on his own, promptly conking out."

"I'm gonna go back next door to grab his pen," House said as he moved past them and back out the door.

"Okay," Erika replied. "Door's unlocked."

Cuddy watched him go but then turned her attention back to Erika. Moistening her lips, she hesitantly asked, "Is Wilson still upset over last Friday?"

Erika's eyes left Rachel and the puppy to focus on Cuddy. "He's not mad at you about it," she quickly reassured. "He was mad at me for telling House what was going on last Thursday night and with House for what he decided to do, in part because House took it out of your hands completely and James doesn't think that was fair _to you_. But he was never upset with you. Anyway, he's coming around. He knows how much House guards his privacy and hates change. It'll be fine."

"Are you and I okay?" Erika asked then, giving her an inquisitive look.

Cuddy's eyes widened but she was quick to say, "I might not have liked what House did any more than Wilson but… I understand why you told him. And in any case, I wasn't the one to tell you, therein I never asked you to keep it quiet." Smiling at that, she added, "That makes this all _Wilson's_ fault for sharing what I told him."

Erika smiled but shook her head wryly before reaching for Evie, taking her into her arms as House reentered the house with the crate, the women leaning back so as to be further out of his way as Cookie Monster took off with Rachel right behind him.

"Want to stay for dinner?" Cuddy invited as she got back to her feet.

"I'd love to," she accepted easily. "Since Trevor is over at a friend's house and James is stuck at work, I don't really have a desire to cook for just myself. But put me to work. I'm more than willing to help."

"Okay," Cuddy agreed, smiling as she reached out to tuck a lock of hair behind Evie's ear before heading for the kitchen, Erika right behind her.

* * *

Cuddy looked up from where she sat on her bed wading through her e-mails on her laptop to try and get a head start on what she'd be facing when she entered PPTH in the morning, to see House standing awkwardly in her doorway, clearing his throat.

She smiled and set her laptop aside as he entered her room once she'd seen him, a hand behind his back. Cuddy quirked an eyebrow at that, wondering what he had hidden, but her gaze quickly returned to his face as he came to a stop several feet from her bed. He had disappeared into his room after the girls went to sleep, shutting the door behind him without explanation, and she hadn't disturbed him to get one, assuming he maybe just needed some time to himself after their trip to her sister's house.

"Hi," she murmured in greeting now, not knowing what else to say.

"Hey," he mumbled, glancing around her room before meeting her eyes. Then he removed his hand from behind his back and extended his arm in her direction, a wrapped, rectangular package there for her to accept, his chin jutting out for her to take it when she hesitated, House not having any reason to buy her a gift in the first place.

"What is it?" Cuddy asked softly as she stretched her arm out to take it, biting her lip once the package was in her hand.

"Nothing spectacular," House replied dismissively, clearly waiting for her to open it but not wanting a whole lot of attention due to the gift either, generally not one to give them in part because of how uncomfortable it made him.

She studied his face a second longer but then her brow gathered as she looked down at the package and finally stuck a nail under the tape sealing the wrapping paper together in order to pry it up, anxious to see what lay within.

She had just peeled the paper back to reveal the gift within when he mumbled, "I saw it in the hotel's gift shop on the way back from the pool and thought… Well, now that Evie's not a big secret anymore, you might want to have some pictures of her on your desk."

Cuddy had stopped breathing at the sight of Evie's sweet face staring repeatedly up at her from an exquisite rectangular silver picture frame with a space for one large photo and twelve smaller spaces representing each month of the first year in two rows of six, the large photo and nine of the twelve smaller spaces already filled in, and suddenly she knew what he'd disappeared into his room to do. At his explanation she sucked in a lungful of air and swallowed the lump in her throat, her mouth already trembling with an oncoming cry at just how sweet he was being about this when she was only too aware how much her rejection of their daughter had hurt him. Carefully setting it aside on the bed, she wasted no time in pushing herself to her feet and then threw herself into his arms, her arms wrapping around his neck long before his hands fell to her waist, holding her loosely and uncomfortably.

"It's just a picture frame," he mumbled into her hair. "It's not that big a deal, Cuddy."

But she didn't give him opportunity to continue to dismiss what he'd done as she leaned back, her hands moving along his neck before cupping his face and pushing herself up as high as she could go while tilting her head enough to have her nose fall to the side of his, her lips meeting his and kissing him passionately, the few tears she hadn't managed to restrain absently dripping down her face from her already shut eyes.

House stared at her wide-eyed, caught off-guard by her intensity and swaying slightly to catch his balance, but then she pulled away only long enough to turn her head in the other direction before her lips were back against his and this time his own eyes closed, concentrating on how her lips moved against his even if he was unable to return her kiss with equal feeling. When the kiss slowed, her lips lingering but not moving so needily against his, he thought to open his eyes, meeting her gaze before she released his lips and slowly found her footing again.

"Thank you," she managed to softly say after she'd caught her breath and regained equilibrium. "I love it."

House blinked, his only response as his hands finally fell from her waist, still staring at her.

"Placing it on my desk will be the first thing I do when I get in tomorrow morning," she added in a whisper, now tracing under her eyes with a finger to catch any remaining moisture.

House nodded his acknowledgement and then silently turned, walking out of her room, still looking slightly dazed.

Cuddy released a choked laugh at his expression but didn't stop him from going, instead turning to pick the picture frame up, looking at each picture in turn, emotion clogging her throat once more. Tracing her finger over the frame she drew a shaky breath before sinking back on the bed, reaching out with one hand to shut her laptop as she knew she wouldn't be accomplishing anything else that night, too wrapped up in the gift that lay in her hands just waiting to be placed in the perfect spot tomorrow morning.

* * *

July 6th, 2011

Cuddy walked into PPTH the next morning earlier than she usually would and certainly long before she wanted to, but with the long weekend she'd had, it wasn't as if she really had a choice. She had way too much to try and accomplish before the day came to an end, along with an appointment scheduled with Kate that she was already contemplating cancelling for this week so as to use that timeslot for work, and on top of that, her sister planned to come on Friday and stay the weekend. As much as she would like to give Friday completely to her sister, she had a feeling Julia _would _spend a portion of the day following her about PPTH until she was free to skip out early, _if _she could manage even that.

Then there was also the fact that she had no assurance as to what this day would hold for her anyhow, being her first day back following the disclosure regarding Evie before the Board. But while she was genuinely nervous about how the day would go and whether she'd survive it, she couldn't deny that she was excited too. Carefully packaged in her hand was the frame House had given her the night before, along with a spare frame she'd located which she'd temporarily decided to use for a copy of their family picture until she could buy a nicer one that she liked more.

Janine had been gone by the time the board meeting ended the Friday before. But now as Cuddy headed in the direction of her office, she knew she should probably make a point to tell her first, especially because… well, she'd lied to _her _directly and allowed her to spread the lie from there_. _Keeping a good assistant meant maintaining the relationship. She'd, in a manner of speaking, broken the guidelines by which she normally held herself, a mutual trust relationship important to her as there were way too many things she needed kept confidential, between herself and her assistant, in the running of her hospital. She now had damage control to do.

In a way she was surprised that no one cast suspicious glances her way or any other kind of _off_ look, as she'd crossed the lobby, but it appeared the board members had kept their mouths closed better than she'd expected and… well, Brenda had never been on Cuddy's list as much of a gossip, so despite what House had said, Cuddy was fairly certain that if the leak hadn't happened yet within the hospital walls, it would not have entered from without in the course of one weekend. It wasn't until she entered the empty clinic which was still a few hours away from opening that Janine saw her and looked away just as quickly, frowning somewhat, causing Cuddy to wonder if someone didn't at least know _something _was up_._

Janine didn't give Cuddy time to greet her though before she announced evenly, "Good morning, Dr. Cuddy. Your office is unlocked and I've already printed a final revised list of your appointments for today and your current schedule for the rest of the week. You also received several flower arrangements yesterday. I set them on your table for the present time. Just let me know if you want me to move any of them out of your way."

Cuddy's eyes widened and she silently turned to take a few steps in the direction of her office, peering within to see the flower arrangements Janine had referred to before turning back to see she was already back to work at her desk.

Janine glanced up when Cuddy made no move to enter her office and then said simply, "Congratulations."

"I'm not pregnant," Cuddy quickly replied, that being the easier thing to clear up off the bat, not wanting to give anyone time to conclude that and have those rumors to deal with on top of her current situation.

"I kind of ruled that out on my own," Janine replied, her eyes returning to the paperwork she was going through. "If you were, you wouldn't be far enough along to know the sex. Not without showing. Since the majority of those flowers are pink, purple, and white and one of the arrangements came in a pink baby elephant pull toy, it's obvious even without reading the cards attached, which I _haven't _done, that those who sent them are congratulating you on a daughter."

That still didn't really communicate to Cuddy what conclusion Janine had come to but she moistened her lips, not about to ask, before she inquired, "Do you have a minute?"

Janine looked up again then but nodded, following Cuddy into her office a moment later.

It took Cuddy another minute to gather her thoughts before she turned to Janine and said, "Listen, I'm really sorry about this but… when I told you my daughter had been stillborn last October, well… that wasn't the truth. For reasons I'm not disclosing, it was necessary to keep her a secret temporarily and I didn't see any other way of handling it. I only informed the Board last Friday. I know I… put you in a bad situation by allowing you to be the one to spread the news but… I just wanted you to know that I really do value you as an employee Janine and as ugly as what I had to have people thinking was, I didn't have any other option. I'm only too relieved to not have to keep my daughter a secret anymore. And I hope… I hope this won't affect our professional relationship. You're the best assistant I've had in years and… I'd hate for you to look for work elsewhere because of this," she concluded evenly.

"Dr. Cuddy, this has been the most challenging job I've ever had," Janine said honestly. "Trying to manage your life at the hospital is complicated _enough_. I don't really wish to handle your personal life too. Saying that, I'm only too happy to hear your baby is alive and well, even if it means you've allowed me to believe a lie all this time for your own reasons unknown to me. And you don't need to explain anything further. I don't want anyone coming to me for information either. So… I'm not going to be the one to spread this news. I'm just going to keep my mouth shut. But just so you know, from here on out, you are in charge of handling personal stuff. I'm not fielding it unless I have to. I'll just do my job so you can do yours. It's a good position; one I'm happy with. And… I don't want to make any major life changes right now anyway."

Cuddy bit back a smile, managing a somber look as she nodded her acceptance of Janine's terms, more or less. "That works for me," she agreed easily.

"Okay, then I'm going to get back to work," Janine replied, turning to head for the door. Pausing at the door though, she turned back and said, "Again, congratulations Dr. Cuddy." And then she was gone, the door shutting behind her.

Cuddy sighed her relief at having that over with but then turned to look at the flower arrangements, removing the cards from each in turn to see who they were from. Thomas Patterson had sent two arrangements, one from the hospital and another from him and his wife. But the third surprised her. The card simply read, "Congrats." But it was signed by one James Wilson.

* * *

Wilson glanced up from his salad and sub sandwich as he was eating lunch in his office to avoid all the gossip-mongers who'd come out of the woodwork since this morning wanting to ask him questions, when a knock came. He expelled a breath, hoping it wasn't another curious co-worker looking for information regarding the rumors now circulating the hospital regarding Cuddy and his best friend, but reluctantly called out, "Come in."

His expression changed to relief but then to hesitance and discomfort as Cuddy entered, shutting the door behind her. Turning to him, she gave him a soft smile and said, "Thank you for the flowers, Wilson. They're beautiful."

"I was there when the delivery guy entered with two arrangements yesterday and directed him to your office. And well… She's my niece so I thought… I didn't want to not get you flowers," he finished awkwardly, shrugging.

"Thank you," she repeated, accepting his bumbling explanation.

Wilson waved it off but sighed before scrubbing a hand over his face. "Sorry about… what House did Friday. I didn't mean for him to find out. I know you wanted to handle this yourself and he didn't exactly let you…"

Cuddy was surprised at his apology, not at all having expected that. It genuinely caught her off-guard, much as his sending flowers had. She hid it well however. Figuring if he was going to keep talking, she was going to get comfortable, she headed for the chair across from his desk and balanced herself on the arm of it before shrugging helplessly, also sighing. "It's over and done with," she finally replied. "I didn't appreciate it Friday but I can appreciate it now and… understand that he did what he wanted to. I… can live with that. We took the girls to my sister's house for the 4th. I told her the truth. House didn't stop me. I guess as long as those closest know, I can accept the fact that he didn't want everyone here involved as well."

"There's a lot of talk anyway," Wilson interjected pointedly.

"I've noticed," Cuddy replied with a grimace. "But there was always going to be."

"But yesterday there wasn't," he informed her. "That surprised me. Suddenly today…"

"But I wasn't here yesterday so no one was in my office to see the flower arrangements," she interrupted. "And… I put pictures up on my desk today as well. Considering I've had people in and out of my office to meet with me this morning…"

Wilson nodded, finally getting what had caused the radical change and brought it to the forefront of everyone's discussions at the mention of the flower arrangements, for which he was partly responsible for then, but his eyebrow rose at her mentioning pictures and her words drifted off when in the next second she was almost certain he struggled to suppress a smile before his expression locked down, hiding what he was thinking from her.

"That would do it," he agreed. "But how did House get linked in so quickly?"

"One of my pictures is of the four of us," Cuddy explained without hesitation.

And then she did see some displeasure in his expression. Expelling her breath, she defended, "Wilson, they are _my family. _House included. And I will put a picture of my family on my desk if I want to. That's just how it is. I'm not asking you to support me in wanting to be with him but I will ask you to respect my wish to not hide him as if I'm ashamed he's Evie's father, when I couldn't be _happier_ about that."

Wilson expelled an irritable breath, his head tilting to the side as if she was a bit unbelievable while he stuck a finger out at her and sharply declared, "You didn't want Evie for that _very_ _reason_. If Lucas had been her…"

She didn't give him a chance to finish, pushing herself to her feet and glaring at him. "You're right," she angrily agreed, eyes flashing and causing him to fall silent, his hand dropping to his desk as Cuddy lowered her volume although she made no attempt to alter her tone. "I would have been only too happy about my pregnancy if Lucas had been responsible for it. And I _hate _knowing that. I hate the very fact that I ever _had _a relationship with Lucas. But my world crumbled apart when House went to Mayfield too, Wilson! And if I was stupid enough to think I could get over my heartbreak and terror that I'd lost him _for good this time_, by pouring myself into a potential relationship that seemed like it could actually _work _and _last, _I'd at least ask for you to cut me a break! Not to forgive me for what I did to House or even to try to understand why I would cling so hard to the life I'd created for myself with Lucas to shelter me from how destroyed I truly was in failing House when he needed me before Mayfield. And I certainly won't ask you to understand how out of control I became in the aftermath of another loss or how I took that out on House in turn. I can't take back what I've done, Wilson! I can't take back how I've hurt him! And unimaginably! But regardless of how I felt when I found out I was carrying Evie, I am _NOT ashamed _of House being her father, I will stand for no one thinking that, and the _last thing I _am regretting right now is that Lucas wasn't her father."

She sucked in a lungful of air at that point, the tension easing in her shoulders, but continued solemnly, "I love House, Wilson. I _love_ him. And he loves me, even if he can't allow himself to surrender to that love just yet. So _one day, _when he is ready to give me another chance, I _will _make him happy, Wilson. And you'll just have to deal with that. Because I am _better now. _I've been through months of counseling to get to this point. I am not broken like I was before and I am never going to return to that place. Not ever. I will stay in counseling for the rest of my life if I have to. I am going to love him. I am going to make him happy. And I am going to do what I can to make it so neither one of us cringes whenever Lucas is brought up. Lucas is not worth it. And…" Calming, she added, "I have nothing else to say except leave my picture alone and… thanks again for my flowers."

Then she turned and pulled his door open, striding out and shutting the door behind her without even looking back at him, leaving him there staring after her, blinking, raking a hand through his hair as he exhaled heavily, feeling like he had a lot to think over and not so sure he was up for it.

* * *

Cuddy made her way back to her office, ignoring the whispering about her as she passed, sighing with relief when the elevator doors closed behind her, only too grateful to have the space to herself as she took it back downstairs.

She was going to call House, she decided. She was going to call him and see if he would be willing to bring the girls to PPTH when he was done for the day so that they could just have this over with all at once. No one made any move to speak to _her _about the discovery of the day. Not even those whose eyes had lingered with shock upon the pictures on her desk. And frankly, she figured she was better off not fueling the flame by being the one to bring it up. But all the same, after what she'd just said to Wilson, she wanted to make her point a public one. She was _NOT _ashamed of House. She never would be. And the sooner people understood that, the less annoyed she'd be in the meantime. Not to mention how it would ease her discomfort at allowing House to play the bad guy as he'd chosen to.

She pretended to be oblivious to how people moved out of her way as she crossed the lobby to enter the clinic, their eyes following her regardless. Rolling her eyes, she opened the door to her office and went within, reaching for the phone on her desk the next minute.

It rang and then she released her first real breath of contentment all day when House answered with a sarcastic, "What do _you _want?"

"I want you and the girls to come get me when you're done for the day," she whined slightly, not bothering with a greeting either.

"Something happen with your car?" he asked in confusion.

"No," she pouted. "I just want you to come. If you don't mind, I mean. I'm pretty sure people are making bets on my personal life right now, though for once I don't think Chase is involved. Anyway, I'd rather just get this over with so that people will go back to their jobs and the Board will have no reason to come to me about the general distracted state of my employees."

"They knew this would be the way of things Friday night," House dryly replied. "They don't have an excuse to give you hell for it just yet. If it continues though…"

"Well," Cuddy pointedly interrupted. "Maybe it won't continue indefinitely if they see that things are just fine; that Evie's perfect and you're as roguishly handsome as ever and…"

"Cuddy," it was House's turn to whine, ignoring her compliment. "I don't want to come. And I have an appointment with Nolan tonight. Can't you just come pick up the girls and…"

"_No_," she interrupted pointedly, though with a smile that carried across the connection. "I can't because I'm not on her list and you aren't ready for that yet, remember?"

"Ugh," House grunted, partially surprised at himself for not thinking of that and partially annoyed because he knew she was going to win and he'd end up doing this for her.

"This is your fault too," she didn't hesitate to add cajolingly. "I probably wouldn't have had a job to come back to or a reason to suffer their whispering about me and my private life all day if you hadn't taken control of this debacle last Friday."

"They whisper about you anyway," he argued, though he stopped himself from repeating the long list of most debated subjects involving Cuddy, most of which ended up being of a sexual nature, though… maybe he'd been responsible for starting a number of those, he recognized now.

"_House_," she whined again.

"Fine," he huffed.

"If you can't swing by before you head out to meet with Nolan…" she began hesitantly, backing down somewhat. "Then I'll just deal and hope it will die down on its own. Or maybe tomorrow you could…"

"No, I'll take off a little early," he grumpily informed her, wanting her to know he'd do it but that wasn't to say he'd be happy about it. "I'll drop Rachel off with you then. At least I won't have to return to the house before heading out to meet with Nolan."

"Thank you," she murmured sweetly, her hand reaching out to trace over his face in their family picture.

"Whatever," he huffed, hanging up without saying goodbye in the next second.

Cuddy rolled her eyes but laughed before hanging up her phone, shaking her head.

Now… did she want to brave the cafeteria? Maybe she'd just go buy her lunch and bring it back to her office. Hmm, yes. That would probably be for the best.

* * *

"Word on the street is that you were seen last Friday with a baby that looked suspiciously like the one in Cuddy's new picture frame on her desk," Foreman began after finally tracking Thirteen down where she was occupied looking at test results and slides via the microscope in the lab, coming to a stop beside her, his eyes narrowing as he studied her, one eyebrow raised, waiting for her response.

She barely glanced up at him before dryly echoing, "Word on the street? Why do I suddenly feel like I work in the ghetto?"

He rolled his eyes but she didn't give him time to say whatever he was currently thinking and met his gaze again before pointedly asking, "Since when did you become such a big fan of listening to gossip?"

"I'm not. But as the general consensus is that same baby also belongs to my former boss, the topic was bound to catch my interest," he stated calmly.

"Why?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Foreman just shrugged before nonchalantly offering, "It's an inconsistency amidst what I believed to be the circumstances surrounding House's quitting. Let's leave it at that."

Her eyes narrowed but she turned back to what she was doing to make some notations on the chart she had with her.

"There are also rumors that you and Chase were seen with House and said baby shortly after you interrupted the board meeting that was going on to hand over the baby to House, who it seems was present despite no longer working here," he continued when she went on working.

"So?" she interrupted, not even deigning to acknowledge her annoyance that people suddenly remembered every move she'd made the Friday before.

"You know something. I want to know what that is," Foreman said simply, vaguely annoyed with her for forcing him to work for an answer.

"Why don't you just go bother Wilson?" she asked pointedly. "He'd know."

"Because he's somehow succeeded in booking himself up straight through the middle of next week and when I finally tracked him down in his office on his lunch break, he said he couldn't talk because he had an important call to make," he replied, clearly skeptical that Wilson had been speaking the truth.

Thirteen knew he wouldn't be giving up anytime soon so she finally set aside her paperwork, sighed, and then turned to look at him. "House called me Friday. He asked me if I had a break coming and if I would be willing to do him a favor. When I went to meet him where he asked me to, he had a baby with him. It was quite obvious that the baby was his and Cuddy's but he didn't give me a chance to ask any questions, not that I was at a place where I could formulate them, never having seen this one coming. House just gave me a few brief instructions on her care and then told me he'd be up at the board meeting if she got fussy incase I had to bring her to him before he was done. When she did start to cry I brought her to him. My break was up anyhow. I don't really know what more I can tell you. I did talk with him briefly after the meeting but I was paged before I could ask many questions. He confirmed that the baby is his and Cuddy's and that he's had her since she was born. He also acknowledged it was part of the reason he left. That's about all I know. So are we done here?"

Thirteen chose to omit a few details, amongst them that House had actually instructed her to bring the baby to him at an appointed time, but otherwise she really had told him the majority of what she knew for a fact. She had a few hypotheses and suspicions of her own but… none that she was going to share. Seeing House had been enough to trigger a resurgence of discontent with the routine her work life had fallen into and if there was any chance at all he'd be coming back or even think of her should he be hiring one day soon at Riverside East, and she had asked enough questions about his life at RE to know he was anxious to have a team again, there was no way she was going to risk it by divulging information he'd given her or doubts she'd entertained so that _Foreman_ could better draw his own conclusions. In truth, Thirteen had considered keeping her mouth shut entirely just to tick Foreman off but that only meant he'd annoy her about it for a longer period of time and right now, that held no appeal for her. He was a bit like a pit bull when he wanted information. It was therefore better to get it over with.

He stared at her penetratingly, clearly trying to gauge her honesty, and she stared right back at him, not about to be intimidated.

"There are also rumors circulating that someone overheard two board members talking on their way out of the building Friday and from what was overheard and now able to be analyzed in light of what came out today, it's been suggested that House somehow trapped Cuddy into giving him their baby and basically held it hostage," and upon stating this he made an unimpressed face before pressing on to say, "until recently when he decided Cuddy could be a part of her life after all. There are hundred of theories on just how he trapped her into that arrangement but only a few on what motivated him to, the most common running somewhere along the lines of being related to his stint in Mayfield and anxiety issues that spun off of that…" he trailed off.

"Whoa, you really _are _turning into the little information hound," she dryly criticized before rolling her eyes and shrugging before sighing and suggesting, "Blackmail _would _explain why she was so pissed off at him during those last months before he left though. And if anyone had info on Cuddy, it would most certainly be House. Of course, there's also the fact that she got pregnant by House when we were still all under the impression she was about to marry Lucas. That would have been reason enough to keep her mouth shut at first, anyway."

"I don't know," Foreman skeptically countered. "I can buy the blackmail theory but that still doesn't explain why Chase seemed overly irritated when I mentioned what people are saying, almost as if he was defensive regarding _House_," he pursued, turning to follow her to the door. "And since Cameron is working at RE as well, _for _House, his annoyance is also worth taking into consideration."

Thirteen released an exasperated breath as she stopped in the doorway, looking back at him. "Frankly Foreman, I could care less about this situation as a whole. Partly because people have been annoying me all day and asking questions that I'd rather not have to field, especially when it's not my job to do so, and partly because the only thing that matters to me is whether or not House will eventually be returning to work here. If that possibility exists, I want to be part of his department. I never thought I'd say this but PPTH is boring without him _and _without Diagnostics. Therefore, I'm not going to piss him off by trying to snoop in his business. But you're more than welcome to. Just… leave me out of it. I've told you what I know. That's as involved as I want to be in your venture into anal-retentive detective work."

And Foreman watched her in irritation as she walked away but then his head tilted to the side in a slight nod of accordance, thinking she had a point there even if he wasn't quite ready to lay this to rest just yet. Maybe he'd give it a day though. Cornering Wilson was a far more manageable affair than cornering Cuddy, not that he couldn't handle that if it came down to it. He wasn't sure that he even _cared _what had gone down between Cuddy and House anyway. He just didn't like being played.

* * *

House paused at the door on his way out of the daycare with the girls only to frown, wavering before reluctantly turning back to stop in the doorway to Ruth's office, waiting until she looked up before he mumbled, "You can add Cuddy to Evie's pick up list," then turning to walk away.

"Wait!" she called out, surprised but quick to react all the same, pushing her chair out to get up. "You have to initial all changes to her paperwork."

House paused and expelled a breath but turned back around to face her, readjusting Evie in his arms while Ruth flipped through files to find Evie's, pulling the form out and handing it to him along with a pen right after.

He wasn't so sure he'd be telling Cuddy about this tonight or even this week but… he'd spent a lot of time thinking about this over the weekend and even more after coming back from her sister's house. Maybe he really did owe it to her to take a few risks, whether or not he was ready for them. And what was perhaps more accurate, maybe she'd earned the right to be able to pick Evie up after what she'd willingly told her sister and _intended_ to tell the Board. Maybe… if he didn't force himself to, he never would. In any case, it wasn't like he couldn't change it again if things were to suddenly turn ugly between them.

"Have you told Dr. Cuddy you're adding her to Evie's list?" Ruth asked, giving him a wide smile as he wrote Cuddy's name in and scribbled his signature beside it. She had no reason to object to Dr. Cuddy being on Evie's list. From her few interactions with her and numerous phone calls to check in on both girls, she couldn't understand what had taken him this long as it was.

He handed her back the paper somewhat awkwardly because of Evie but met her eyes as he reached down to take Rachel's hand again before almost embarrassedly muttering, "No. But I will. Eventually."

And with that House turned and headed for the door with the girls, not missing although ignoring Ruth's exasperated, "Oh for goodness sake!" which she said under her breath even as he exited the building.

* * *

"What? You've never seen a guy with two kids before?" Cuddy heard an irritable voice declare in the clinic, causing her to smile seconds before her door opened without the pretense of someone knocking for permission, her face lighting up even more in seeing House shove it out of his way, Rachel running in before him and Evie against his shoulder, happily waving her arms about upon seeing her mommy.

"I'm pretty sure they've already stared a hole through the back of my head," House dryly commented as he entered, the door shutting behind him. "Crossing the lobby just gave me my fill of PPTH for the rest of my _life_."

Cuddy got to her feet, hugging Rachel before she turned her gaze upon him, smiling as she wryly quipped, "Usually you enjoy being the center of everyone's attention here."

House shot her a dirty look but Cuddy ignored it, reaching to take Evie from him as the baby held out her hands for her, opening and closing them anxiously as she babbled nonsensical burbles of sound. Pressing a kiss to Evie's cheek, her gaze was distracted momentarily by the sudden drastic increase in traffic right outside her office, plenty of eyes quickly looking away so as not to meet hers when she looked outside, a sudden shuffle following as people moved on, not that they weren't quickly replaced by other individuals whose turn it now was to peek within.

"How was work?" she asked House, refocusing on him and pushing everyone else from her mind.

"Fine, but traffic is backed up on the highway so I've gotta go or it will take me forever to get there. You're good on car seats but I put the girls' things in your car for you," he quickly mumbled.

Cuddy stared at him as if thunderstruck but then repeated in a whisper, "The girls' things?", clearly questioning his use of the plural and yet not the fact that he'd somehow managed to get inside her car without a key, which really was the more interesting story in House's mind, but then, he didn't really want to think too much about what he'd decided to do.

House glanced up at her and instead of answering her unspoken query, wryly offered, "I can take Evie with me if you'd rather."

Cuddy shook her head dramatically as she quickly moistened her lips before replying, "No, that's fine."

House nodded and then glanced away, his eyes falling on the flower arrangements and an eyebrow rising in response.

"Thomas sent one from him and his wife and the other from the hospital but… the third one is from Wilson of all people," Cuddy murmured, not waiting for him to ask.

House looked back at her, surprise written on his face before he could hide it.

"That's how I felt," she said with a smile.

House stared at her for a second but then his gaze was once more distracted as Rachel declared, "Look! There's me! And there's Ebie! And there's all of us!"

Cuddy and House both turned to look at what she was talking about and his brow smoothed as he saw the picture of Rachel that Cuddy had on her desk, along with the new ones of Evie, but his expression altered from confusion to a hint of a smile upon seeing that Cuddy had also put up a picture of the four of them.

He shook his head but dryly muttered, "Way to ruin my image," before meeting Cuddy's gaze as she smiled at him.

He sobered then, his brow gathering before he reluctantly asked, "Call me when you get home?"

Cuddy was quick to nod in agreement. "And I don't have any stops to make so we'll head straight home when we leave here, probably in another twenty minutes."

House nodded his acceptance, releasing a breath he wasn't even aware of having held before Cuddy said, "We'll walk you out."

He turned then, making no objection, and Cuddy called for Rachel, telling her they were going to walk daddy to his car while holding out her hand for her to take before following House out of her office, smiling when he held the door for her. "And you think _I'm _ruining your image," she teased softly.

House grunted but said nothing, almost horrified when a hush fell over the clinic just as Rachel very sweetly asked in a voice loud enough for anyone present to hear, "Daddy, you carry me?"

Cuddy laughed softly, reading him easily, but he stopped, reaching for Rachel and settling her against his chest a second later. His pace increased though, forcing Cuddy to move a little faster to keep up with him, and she looked at him to see his eyes were 100% focused on the front entrance and his great escape beyond it.

"You goin' sumpace?" Rachel asked him seriously, her little hands reaching up to hold the sides of his face as she waited for her answer, watching him intently, giggling a second later though when the slight jostling she was receiving as he eagerly headed for the door led to her hands pulling forward on his face, giving him fishy lips for a brief second.

An eyebrow rose wryly at her amusement before he dryly replied, "Yeah kid. Daddy's got to meet someone like he does every Wednesday night."

They reached the door just then and someone about to enter held the door open, allowing them to exit first. Cuddy murmured a thank you but her attention was on House, her smile growing when he immediately seemed to relax once outside of the hospital walls, even if there were plenty of people milling about outside, perfectly capable of continuing the observance they'd been under while inside the walls of PPTH together.

"Feel better?" she couldn't help but amusedly inquire.

"I'll feel better when I can no longer see this place in my rearview mirror," he muttered under his breath.

Cuddy laughed but then frowned almost in succession, asking, "Are you sure you want to leave Evie with me? If you'd rather take her with…"

"It's fine," House dismissively interrupted.

Cuddy wasn't so sure but she nodded her head and confirmed assuredly, "I will call you when we get home."

He just nodded, hitting his key fob the next second to unlock the car doors as they approached before setting Rachel down on the floor, Cuddy taking her hand immediately.

"See you later, kid," he said to Rachel, messing up her hair.

"Kiss, kiss, kiss," she interjected, jumping up and down so that his attention would stay on her.

"Oh for Pete's sake," House mumbled, casting a glance back at PPTH. But albeit reluctantly, he knelt and allowed Rachel to press her lips to his before straightening again, casting a bemused glance at Cuddy before he focused his attention on Evie, leaning in to blow raspberries on her neck until she squirmed and giggled in Cuddy's arms.

Smiling then, he straightened and shook his head before saying, "I'll see you at home."

"You won't let me kiss you goodbye?" Cuddy asked, biting her lip as she waited for his answer, already knowing what it would be.

"Keep dreaming," he retorted, the smile falling from his lips. "The day I let you kiss me at PPTH will be the day…"

"Don't finish that," she murmured with a pout, a finger quickly pressing to his lips to keep him from finishing his statement.

House harrumphed but pulled back, turning to open his door to climb in.

"I'll call," Cuddy reconfirmed one last time as House shut his car door. She watched him pull out of the parking space and head out of the lot before turning to head back inside. "A girl can dream anyway," she whispered to herself all the same.

* * *

House's phone rang ten minutes later, the ringer telling him it was Wilson calling.

He clicked the button to connect and then skeptically inquired, "You bought Cuddy flowers?"

Wilson had been about to greet him and instead he found himself shutting his open mouth and struggling to gather his thoughts at the unexpected demand for an answer. "Well…" he began, still searching for words.

"Who are you and what have you done with Wilson?" House charged onward.

"Evie's _my_ niece. If people are going to start sending Cuddy flowers, I should probably be among them. I mean, it would be weird for me not to, wouldn't it?" Wilson grappled to explain. "Especially with the story you fed the Board and which I backed up. How would I not feel guilty about keeping Evie from her? Not that I feel guilty, because none of that was true but…"

House frowned at the explanation but then suspiciously asked, "So you sent Cuddy flowers because…"

"I don't know," Wilson huffed, interrupting him. "I mean, she _is_ Evie's mom. And she seems genuinely committed to this. It's not like she's going to back out now, right? Who in their right mind _would_ walk away from Evie? Right? No. Don't answer that!" he quickly added.

House fell silent, processing, but Wilson didn't allow him much time, probing, "Are you mad?"

He still didn't respond right away, weighing his response in light of the response he would be most likely to receive from Wilson then, but finally mumbled dismissively, "No. I don't care."

Wilson sighed before remembering why he was calling. "I heard that you were just at PPTH," he said, changing the subject.

"Word travels fast," House dryly muttered.

"I was going to come down but…"

"But…?" House prompted when he didn't immediately complete his sentence.

"Well, things have been crazy here. I'm practically trapped in my office as it is," Wilson wryly bemoaned. "I can't really afford to be seen with you until things calm down. Otherwise I'll never get _anything _done. Everyone wants information. _Including _Foreman," he finished, as if to say Foreman was the last person he wanted to be stuck answering to.

"So?" House dryly replied, not seeing the big deal. "Just tell him what I told the Board."

"Easy for you to say," Wilson complained. "It's Foreman. He's going to ask questions and won't leave me alone until he's satisfied with my explanations."

"Don't be such a wuss," House said in response. "The longer you put off talking to him, the worse he'll be. Just get it over with. You can handle it."

"Maybe I'll tell Cuddy to deal with him," Wilson mumbled.

"_Come on!_" House irritably and disbelievingly declared. "Be a man, Wilson! If he really wants to know that bad, he'll just keep bothering you until he gets his answers. Even if he talks to Cuddy, he won't settle for her explanation. He's going to want to hear it from you."

"Why don't you just deal with him then?" Wilson countered.

"Yeah, like me calling him out of the blue to explain everything won't trigger alarm bells in his head," he pointedly argued.

Wilson huffed but then bit out, "Fine. I'll talk to him next time he comes to corner me."

"Just… make it seem like you're reticent to speak about it because you're trying to protect me. Not even Foreman would doubt that reality. Besides, he doesn't _really _care. Foreman never really cares. He just… doesn't want to be scammed," House finished.

"He doesn't care? Could have fooled me," Wilson dryly mumbled before changing gears again and asking, "You on your way to meet with Nolan?"

"Yeah," House answered before changing the subject. "Wanna go bowling Saturday? Cuddy's sister is coming to town and I want an excuse to escape for at least a few hours."

Wilson chuckled but suggested, "Three o'clock? I'll meet you there?"

"Works for me," House replied.

"Alright. I'll let you go," Wilson said in reply.

"Okay," House responded, hanging up on the spot.

Well, he thought to himself. At least Wilson didn't yet know he'd left Evie with Cuddy. Now if only that one would escape Wilson's attention completely… It had been a quiet day at RE. Cameron, contrary to his expectations, had said nothing about what he'd done Friday and it wasn't because Chase didn't know even if she hadn't talked to Wilson. House had told Chase once Thirteen was out of earshot simply because Chase would have to keep his mouth shut, which meant he couldn't be placing bets on things either, as people would think he'd be in the know, at least, assuming there was anyone who knew Cameron worked for him. Surprisingly though, Chase had shown no interest in heading up the betting pool, too irritated over what he'd done and how Cameron would now react to care to benefit financially from his insight into what was going on. In any case, Cameron hadn't even brought the subject up, and while that caught him off-guard it was not enough to prompt him into braving the possibility of unleashing a storm in digging into the reason for her silence. And then he realized she was observing him, probably waiting to say anything until she was sure of what was going on in his head. He was okay with that. In fact, he'd prefer to put any lectures off as long as possible. After awhile the reason for them would be obsolete anyway, right? But then again, he could be slightly off track in his conclusions. Perhaps she was waiting to see if he'd regret it in the aftermath. He'd gotten lucky in Cuddy calling him while Cameron was out of the office. Still, he had no doubt she'd find out he'd left early in order to swing by PPTH today. It remained to be seen however if that would be enough to loosen her tongue.

Foreman, he contemplated then. By now he ought to be used to House scamming him. It had happened enough. But it was probably a good thing though that House understood Foreman enough to know how he thought. He genuinely didn't believe he had anything to worry about. Foreman tired fast when it came to this sort of thing. By the weekend, he'd be just as annoyed as Cuddy and Wilson by the gossip still lingering in the halls of PPTH. Especially when it interfered with what he needed to get done. And even without working there, House had no doubt he could find a number of ways to ensure Foreman's annoyance in those regards, should he need to.

* * *

Nolan had been surprised when House had entered without Evie for the first time since he'd resumed therapy but House didn't give him much time to ask questions though, instead rather sarcastically launching into the latest developments and specifically that of what he'd done at PPTH. When House came to an end, an eyebrow raised at Nolan's speechlessness throughout his recounting of it all, he waited, his smirk growing incrementally alongside his pride in apparently managing for the first time ever to shock Nolan right into interminable silence. He was just debating whether or not he could leave now without being stopped when Nolan finally reached the end of his processing and said wryly, "And I was thinking we'd spend today focusing on what happened over the 4th."

"Nah," House dismissively negated. "Turns out Cuddy's sister is just as messed up as she is. It didn't end up being such a big deal. She's even coming to spend time with Cuddy this weekend," he added nonchalantly, although he didn't refrain from an eye roll.

Nolan raised an eyebrow at House's disclaimer but if it had actually gone better than expected, he wasn't going to concentrate time on that when it seemed they had other more _substantial _things to discuss, things that in even happening, revealed more of House's psyche and how he was actually coping than Nolan had been able to determine through their sessions in weeks now.

Nodding, he templed his fingers and asked, "Tell me something. What does what you did for Dr. Cuddy last Friday say to _you?_"

House had been expecting the standard inquiry of why he'd done what he had. He'd been ready and waiting to retort that he'd already explained his motivation, therein at least pushing it off temporarily in protest. Unfortunately, that hadn't been the question Nolan chose to lead in with.

Frowning his irritation, he pressed his lips against one another before he expelled his breath from his nose. "What does it say to you?" he turned about. "You're the psychiatrist."

The corners of Nolan's mouth rose in amusement at House's deflection but he remained silent, waiting him out.

After almost five minutes, House huffed but then shrugged, his eyes narrowing. "What do you want me to say?" he asked flatly.

"I just want you to think about the question and respond," Nolan replied with a shrug.

"I didn't want things to change," House began evenly. "I didn't want it to affect the girls. I didn't want Cuddy to lose what she'd worked so hard for when it would serve no purpose. I didn't want people to know my business either. This is private. Enough people already know."

"But doing what you did didn't exactly exempt you from people knowing your business," Nolan countered. "It didn't serve to take the focus off _you_."

"But I chose what they'd know and what they think they know isn't reality anyway. Reality is that they _don't _know my business. And I don't care about what they think of me. But either way, going this route does actually minimize the attention that will come my way. No one is going to think this is beyond the realm of what I'm capable of. And that fact alone testifies to just how quickly this will blow over," House argued.

"And you'd rather be seen as a bully and the bad guy than the victim," Nolan interjected understandingly.

"Obviously," House responded without argument.

Nolan nodded but then tested him by casually suggesting, "It's interesting though how it communicates how far you'll go to protect Dr. Cuddy; shows just how deep your feelings for her run."

House shifted uncomfortably in his seat before he thought to roll his eyes the way he should have immediately. "Think what you want," he finally noncommittally replied.

"Where _is_ Evie?" Nolan then pressed, letting the subject of the board meeting alone for the moment.

"With Cuddy," House reluctantly acknowledged.

Nolan nodded as if he that was good enough for him and House narrowed his gaze, waiting to see if he really would leave that go by without comment.

"I thought you didn't trust her with Evie," Nolan finally almost inconsequentially inquired.

"I knew you wouldn't just accept that answer," House practically accused as he sat upright, annoyance radiating off him.

Nolan chuckled but shrugged before saying, "Well, I am here to ask questions, aren't I? We'd never get anywhere if I just waited for you to open up and do all the talking."

Defensively, House declared, "She was going to tell PPTH the truth. And she _did _tell her sister what really happened. If I… Well, aren't _you _the one trying to convince me I need to take some chances in this? Aren't you the one arguing for me challenging my contentment with status quo?"

Nolan smiled but nodded slightly. "So in leaving Evie with Dr. Cuddy tonight, you're doing that?" he clarified.

House frowned but jerked his head in agreement before looking away and resignedly muttering, "And I added her to Evie's pickup list too."

Nolan's eyebrows rose but House was avoiding eye contact and so he waited just a moment before asking, "What did Dr. Cuddy say when you told her?"

"I didn't tell her," House reluctantly admitted. "But I did it. That's enough."

Nolan snorted and House's eyes swiveled to meet his, narrowing before he huffed, "I _will _tell her. I just need a few days to work through it."

"But why did you do it then if you aren't ready for her to know? I mean, if you're going to take a chance on her and give your approval for her to pick your daughter up, why not go full out and commit yourself by telling her? After all, are you really taking a risk if she doesn't even know she can pick her up?" he asked pointedly.

House expelled a breath as he glared at Nolan. After a moment he nodded curtly. "Fine," he mumbled, put out and not looking too happy about it.

Nolan raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything right away. When House didn't say any more though, he pressed, "Why did you add her? What motivated you? Why'd you leave Evie with her to come here? What makes you think that she _won't _just take Evie and run for the hills now? What makes you think that she, Rachel, and Evie aren't halfway to China already?"

"You can't get to China in four hours," he dryly retorted. "I only left Evie with her two hours ago. And she called me when she got home. I could hear the dog barking."

Nolan gave him a look that said he was not amused and House looked away, pursing his lips before mumbling, "She's happy right now. She's made no secret of what she wants; what she wants being _me_. She put a picture of the four of us on her desk today, for Pete's sake, advertising to the world that we're… some kind of family unit; that she _wants _us to be that. She's not going to go anywhere when she's hopeful like this. But…"

House's words drifted off as his attention dropped to the carpet between his two feet.

"But..." Nolan prompted.

"Well, I'm not exactly optimistic about the odds here. The past is a big enough indication that this is not meant to be. Back when she was with… Lucas," he mumbled in almost a whisper, "she came right out and said I'd never made her happy; that I never could. So… Sure, she's happy now or… she at least believes she is. But… what if what was true then is still true now? What if reality is that I _still can't _make her happy? Cuddy's back to being optimistic and moony-eyed. She wants this. But when I can't be what she needs or… wants? When her hopefulness is replaced by disappointment at the gaping chasm between what she's looking for and what I can reasonably offer…? Why would she stay then?"

"You want to be able to make her happy?" Nolan asked to clarify, even though he didn't have to. "You want to be what she needs _and _wants?"

"Wanting is useless," House said quietly, still staring at the carpet. "It just means you're hoping for something that _isn't _yet; for something that doesn't exist presently. Wanting isn't… enough."

"Or _you _are not enough," Nolan suggested.

"I'm not," House immediately replied, meeting his gaze now and nodding his agreement. "I'm not enough."

"Dr. Cuddy seems to think you are," he countered. "So what is it in your mind that balances out her optimism to keep you where you're at? What makes this so impossible?"

"I don't know," House lied easily, looking away only after he'd met and sustained Nolan's gaze for several seconds.

"Maybe you should find out," Nolan suggested then.

* * *

Cuddy looked up when she heard the garage door going up and set aside what she was working on to go to the back door, opening it just as House climbed out of his car, the garage door closing behind him.

"Hey," she greeted with an affectionate smile, leaning against the doorframe as she watched him approach.

"Hey," he replied quietly, meeting her gaze for a second before he paid special attention to the ground as if looking for something that would cause him to trip on his way inside.

"The girls are sleeping," she said then, though she was sure he kind of figured that would be the case.

"Why didn't you ask me to be a sperm donor?" he asked out of the blue as he reached her, his eyes coming up to search hers intently.

Cuddy hadn't seen that coming and wasn't even sure what suddenly prompted him to ask, her head jerking back with the force of the stun-worthy question. She floundered to gather her thought, unwittingly blocking the door, so House just stood there before her, waiting.

Finally Cuddy shook her head as if to clear it, her brows long since having gathered in obvious confusion, and she moistened her lips before her face relaxed somewhat. "I didn't want you to reject me," she finally said.

"But you knew I _wouldn't_ reject you," he countered immediately, shaking his head.

Cuddy sucked in a breath but then tilted her head to the side before acknowledging, "I didn't know that until I was standing before you about to ask. And then… well, knowing you would agree was even _more_ terrifying. Because I hadn't allowed myself to hope you would, and once I realized that you wouldn't turn me down, it was suddenly all so overwhelming. I really wanted a baby. And suddenly that baby I wanted could potentially be _your_ baby as well. And just like that I realized I wanted nothing more than to have your baby, House. I hadn't been prepared for just how hard it would hit me in that moment; wanting your baby in particular as I suddenly did. But at the same time, I didn't understand why you would be willing to agree to it. And in a matter of seconds, I had all these doubts and conflicting emotions. Under what circumstances would you have allowed me to bear your child? You didn't seem to want children. For me, that meant you were willing to do it for _me. _Just for me. Not because you wanted children yourself. And then… what if you didn't want anything to do with the baby after it was too late for you to change your mind about giving me one? Or what if you regretted it? What if I actually conceived your child and you couldn't handle it? What if I lost you? Was I willing to take that risk? And we'd no longer be talking about a child conceived through a sperm donor. You and I had a relationship. You _meant something _to me. If you walked away after giving me what I thought I wanted, would I suddenly find that I wanted you as well and now couldn't have you because I'd allowed you to agree to something you weren't truly interested in, nor ready for? Could I live with a reminder of you like that? With a child who would every second of every day, cause me to think of you? All these thoughts hit me at once and… I couldn't do it. I couldn't ask you until I was sure I could handle the consequences that might come from my request. In… some ways, it was similar to how I felt when I found out I was pregnant with Evie. Except I was so desperate to have what I thought I wanted, what finally seemed within my grasp, that I couldn't accept her because…"

"I added you to her list," House chose that moment to blurt out, causing Cuddy to take several steps back until her back hit the wall while she floundered to process what he'd just said, House stepping past her then, heading inside the house.

"What?" she finally managed to whisper.

House stopped in his tracks and slowly turned back to meet her eyes. "I added you to Evie's list on my way out this afternoon. You can pick her up now. I… I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me before you do, but the point is that you can."

Cuddy didn't even know what to say, just standing there feeling like a fish out of water, unable to draw in a breath to re-oxygenate the blood rushing through her veins. "You added me to her list?" she finally repeated, still speaking in a whisper.

House nodded slowly and Cuddy was suddenly thankful that she was up against a wall because she wasn't sure her legs would have held her up if they'd been required to.

"Why would you do that?" she felt too helpless in this to _not_ ask.

House shrugged as if his shrug could sufficiently explain his reasoning. He swallowed but pursed his lips before reluctantly acknowledging, "I need to take risks."

"You took one," she pointed out almost emotionlessly. "Today. You left her with me while you went to your appointment."

"Yeah, but… Well, you deserve to be able to go pick up your own kid," he settled on saying, knowing it was the truth even if it was hard for him to make that concession in allowing her that right.

Cuddy didn't even know how to respond to that.

"Don't start crying," he quickly mumbled, causing her eyes to snap back up to meet his from where they'd fallen to stare at the floor.

In reality she was too stunned to cry anyway. That would come later. "Okay," she was therefore able to murmur.

"I'm gonna go say goodnight to the girls," he uncertainly said then, giving her a probing look.

Cuddy just nodded, looking away in the next second, trying to just _think, _while House waited only a moment longer before reanimating himself, turning the corner to head through the kitchen to check on Evie before going up to check on Rachel as well.

It was a long time before Cuddy made any move to leave her place against the wall though, too lost by his disclosure to understand how she was to respond or how to take his decision.

* * *

July 7th, 2011

House watched Cuddy as she kept entering and exiting the kitchen in order to access the other side, her abnormal and time-consuming behavior confusing him. He hadn't seen her after checking on the girls the night before, mainly because he'd almost immediately escaped to his room to contemplate what she'd said about not asking him to be her sperm donor, so he wasn't sure if this was related to the change he'd made with Evie's paperwork, and honestly, he really didn't want to consider that being the case, or if this was completely unrelated.

"What are you doing?" he finally inquired, raising an eyebrow where he stood leaning against the cabinets, drinking his coffee.

"Nothing," she replied, now digging through her briefcase.

"You've just come and gone from this room seven times in a row," he pointedly announced. "You _left the room _to go to the pantry to get Evie more Cheerios. It was ten feet away in the first place."

But Cuddy didn't respond, continuing to dig through her briefcase, now flipping through papers.

"Cuddy," he said a bit sharply, trying to get her to give him her full attention.

She ceased her movement but her face did not lift to meet his eyes. Finally she asked in exasperation, "What?"

House's eyebrow rose even more and he straightened before asking curiously, "Why won't you look at me?"

Cuddy sighed and shook her head before moistening her lips with her tongue. "House, trust me. You don't want to know."

Well now he was even _more_ curious. If this had to do with last night, she wouldn't have phrased herself like that. He didn't think anyway… No, reconsidering it again, he concluded this had to be entirely unrelated. Thinking this ought to be good though he set his coffee mug down and folded his arms across his chest before sarcastically asserting, "I think I do."

Cuddy's eyes shut in resignation before she opened them, still not looking at him, sighing once more before wearily informing him, "Don't say I didn't warn you."

House kept silent, waiting her out.

Cuddy shook her head and glanced out the windows towards the backyard before rubbing a hand over her face, cringing before admitting, "I'm… ovulating. And for _whatever _reason,this month is worse than normal. Last night, I… kept having these dreams. Dreams of… you and I and… I took a cold shower this morning! I'm _still _freezing. But then I came downstairs and I can smell your soap and… your skin and… I… I just need to steer clear of you for the time being."

House laughed incredulously but Cuddy's eyes flashed as she finally looked at him in irritation, turning away just as quickly before gritting out, _"It's NOT funny, House. _I have a budget meeting regarding the Oncology department this morning. I don't have _time _to take another shower. Just… stay over there and as soon as I find my keys, I'll be on my way." As an afterthought, she added, "And stop talking. The sound of your voice is making it worse."

"These keys?" House asked then, completely ignoring her order, grabbing her keys from the counter and rattling them in his amusement at her attitude and declarations.

She expelled her breath in response but then turned as Rachel came practically skipping back into the room with Baby G under her arm. "Rachel, can you get mommy's keys from daddy for her?" she asked sweetly, if not in a slightly strained tone.

"Uh-huh," Rachel agreed happily, racing to her daddy to take the keys from him.

House gave the keys to Rachel willingly enough but if Cuddy had been looking at him, she would have seen his grin grow as he decided to have fun with this, testing her a little. Waiting until she bent to kiss Rachel goodbye, he mischievously asked, "Hey Cuddy, you ever think about that night in college when…"

Cuddy knew _exactly _what he was doing and to what he was referring to and she groaned as if in anguish before biting out, "House, you're not funny! I hate you right now!"

But House wasn't about to stop now that he was finding his entertainment in her. Laughing, he watched as she turned to Evie and gave the baby a kiss, once more bending over. Seeing inspiration, he cheerfully announced, "The supertanker is looking exceptionally juicy this morning!"

"You know what…,"she said soberly, utterly serious now. "Fine. You want to have fun. Well I want to have fun too. So if you want to make a joke of my issues this morning, so be it. But know that you had this coming," she concluded.

And House glanced absently at Rachel who was looking from one to the other, not understanding what was going on, making his eyebrows wiggle, before throwing back, "Yeah? And how are you…?"

But before he could complete his question, Cuddy had strode over to him. Reaching for him, she turned his face towards her and pulled it down to hers, standing on tiptoes to fuse her lips to his hungrily, allowing her other arm to snake around him, her hand roughly squeezing his butt as she closed the distance between them. Moaning, she poured all her pent-up energy into him, her other hand running down his chest and over to clasp onto his hip while her lips moved across his.

"Oh, you smell good," she murmured after breaking the kiss, her eyelashes fluttering for a moment before she stepped back to search his expression, her lips curling up into a slight smile as he blinked blankly at her for a moment, swallowing hard. But then her smile faltered as she realized she'd just made her own situation worse.

Whining at his lack of a reaction as he just stared down at her, she demanded, "Didn't I at least make you _half _as uncomfortable as I am? I don't mean uncomfortable in the way I am… _uncomfortable _but uncomfortable in being kissed and… manhandled like that?"

House just shrugged, not having words yet to respond.

"Great,"she declared in aggravation. "That's just _great._" Turning away, she drew herself upright and headed for the door, needing to get away before he opened his mouth.

Pausing momentarily before turning the corner to head to the garage, she glanced back at him over her shoulder, biting her lower lip, a small smile slowly transforming her irritation of a moment ago. "Berry is a good color for you, House," she murmured, promptly making her exit thereafter.

House raised an eyebrow in his quickly dispelling confusion as Rachel giggled and said, "_Daddy, _you's wearing mommy's lipstick again," before giggling once more, Evie joining in a second later simply because her big sister was laughing.

House swiped at his mouth but as he turned to wash it away as best he could, the garage door going up outside unleashed a slow grin that little by little took over his face.

* * *

_**"You've got the best of both worlds  
You're the kind of girl who can take down a man  
And lift him back up again  
You are strong but you're needy  
Humble but you're greedy  
And based on your body language  
And shoddy cursive I've been reading  
Your style is quite selective  
But your mind is rather reckless  
Well I guess it just suggests  
that this is just what happiness is**_

**_Hey, what a beautiful mess this is_**  
**_It's like picking up trash in dresses_**

**_Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write_**  
**_Kind of turn themselves into knives_**  
**_And don't mind my nerve you can call it fiction_**  
**_But I like being submerged in your contradictions, dear_**  
**_'Cause here we are, here we are_**

**_Although you are biased I love your advice_**  
**_Your comebacks they're quick_**  
**_And probably have to do with your insecurities_**  
**_There's no shame in being crazy_**  
**_Depending on how you take these_**  
**_Words they're paraphrasing this relationship we're staging, yeah_**

**_And it's a beautiful mess, yes it is_**  
**_It's like we're picking up trash in dresses_**

**_Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say_**  
**_Kind of turn themselves into blades_**  
**_And the kind and courteous is a life I've heard_**  
**_But it's nice to say that we played in the dirt_**  
**_'Cause here, here we are, here we are_**  
**_Here we are, here we are_**

**_Here we are, here we are_**

**_Here we are, here we are_**

**_Here we are  
We're still here_**

**_And what a beautiful mess this is  
It's like taking a guess when the only answer is 'Yes'_**

**_And through timeless words (here we are) and priceless pictures (here we are)_**  
**_We'll fly like birds (here we are) not of this earth (here we are)_**

**_And tides they turn (here we are) and hearts disfigure (here we are)_**  
**_But that's no concern (here we are) when we're wounded together (here we are)_**  
**_And we tore our dresses (here we are) and stained our shirts (here we are)_**  
**_But it's nice today_**

_**Oh, the wait was so worth it"**_

* * *

Song: "A Beautiful Mess" (Jason Mraz)


	107. Sky

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(What an AWESOME episode this last week! I LOVED it! But I don't get all the debating about whether or not Cuddy is adopted. I mean, if her mother is 65, she was 22 when Cuddy was born. While she would technically fit within the age requirements for adoptions (these days anyway), how likely is it that a 22 year old would choose to adopt so young AND find herself at the top of the list and be given an infant? I suppose it might depend on how old Cuddy's dad was when she was born and how long they'd been married, but… adoption tends to be a long, complicated process. And somehow I'm not convinced 43 years ago, people would have chosen such a young woman when there are so many people out there, trying to adopt. I don't know. IF Cuddy was adopted, it's more reasonable to assume it's by only ONE of her parents – that one is biological and the other adoptive. THIS I guess I could see, Cuddy having a different mother than her sister making the most sense, just based on their relationship and the strain there. But… I don't know. You'd think if that was the case, Cuddy would know, being a doctor and all… I mean, if one of your parents doesn't like you, isn't it quite natural to question whether you are biologically related? Would Cuddy not have questioned this and worked the truth out long ago if that were the case? Anyway, adopted, not adopted… her mother, while quite humorous, generally drives me NUTS and makes me feel awful for Cuddy. __I'm glad if only in this fic, I can give Cuddy Evelyn._

_Ugh! I can't believe it's been THREE weeks! Sorry it took me FOREVER to update! I had a hard time focusing, amidst computer problems and busyness. But this chapter ended up being up there, word count-wise. No. Not just up there. We're not that far away from 50,000 words. That makes this DEFINITELY the longest and therein insane chapter I've written for this story so far. Hope that makes up for it, at least a little! Happy reading! And uh… if I can spend three weeks trying to get this written, you guys can spend thirteen minutes giving me a decent review. __Be honest. That's fair. Especially when I'm giving you... about two hours of pleasurable reading. :) At the very least tell me what's been your favorite moment in this story so far. Or maybe your favorite line. :)__)_

* * *

"Dr. Cuddy, there's a call for you on line one. A Dr. Schrattenthaler from Austria. He's actually in town. He flew in from Europe last week I guess and is speaking at various hospitals with their Psychology departments over the course of the next few weeks. Anyway, he apparently had a cancellation. He's calling to find out if you would have any interest in speaking with him. He asked for you by name or I'd have transferred him directly to Dr. Mathison," Janine's voice came over the intercom in explanation.

"Thanks Janine," Cuddy replied, straightening some files on her desk. "I'll take the call."

The intercom beeped off and then line one began to ring. Cuddy reached for it, settling the phone to her ear as she reached for a pen to take notes. "This is Dr. Cuddy," she answered.

"Dr. Cuddy," her caller began, his Austrian accent carrying traces of a German overtone to it. "My name is Henrik Schrattenthaler and I am one of the top researchers today in psychoanalysis of dreams. This is my specialty. I have spent the past forty years furthering the research of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung and I've also written two books regarding psychoanalytical thinking and what our dreams tell us. I'm sure it won't surprise you, Dr. Cuddy, to hear that our dreams tell us many things."

Cuddy's brow drew together as she pursed her lips before politely asking, "And you're in the area lecturing on your field?"

"Yes, this is true," he agreed punctually.

"Dr. Schrattenhaler," she began then, trying to choose her words carefully so as not to offend him. "Not to demean your life's work but Freud has received a lot of criticism in recent years. Doesn't that generally affect… your popularity as a guest speaker?"

"Believe me, I am well aware of how controversial the subject is and as for Freud, yes, I see what you mean. However," he added, stressing his last word. "I am also quite informed, if I do say so myself, regarding Jung's work and well, I don't usually disclose this because it sounds somewhat pompous but I _do_ also happen to be his fifth cousin so believe me, I have spent my life in knowing… How do they say it…? Oh yes, the 'ins and outs' of his work as well. Therefore, while I will admit to you Dr. Cuddy that I do lean personally towards Freud, during lectures I always try to stress the importance of seeing psychoanalysis from _all_ sides. I might have my preference, Dr. Cuddy, but I am not a pushy man. I assure you, I can equally represent all perspectives regarding my subject matter."

It took Cuddy a moment to gather her thoughts as she was still stuck on his announcement of being related to Carl Jung. Frowning, her suspicions now aroused although not per se because she had just cause to be skeptical, she asked regardless, "Who did you say pointed you in my direction?"

"I do not think I said," he replied apologetically before adding, "But let me check my notes." There was a rustling of papers on the other end of the line before he told Cuddy what she'd already concluded for herself. "Ah yes. Here it is. His name was Dr. House. A very nice man. He said he used to work for you and that while he fully expected you might be reticent at first, he was certain that my lectures would be of interest to you. He didn't explain why per se but he seemed to think you had a _personal_ interest in my work. Although come to think of it, he did mention in passing I believe that you've had some very interesting dreams of late and perhaps I could demonstrate the value of my research, as it were, by listening to one and giving you feedback as to its meaning. Would you perhaps like to recount me the details of what you've been dreaming about? I am quite a good listener, if I do say so myself. But then, research has required me to be so. And honestly, I do not mind. I enjoy the opportunity to practice my field of expertise."

Cuddy was going to kill him. Or maybe just make him _wish_ she would. Unfortunately though, she was only too aware that she was more embarrassed than angry.

"I appreciate the offer," she managed to say after unclenching her jaw. "But that won't be necessary. I would however be willing to transfer you over to the head of our Psychology department. Dr. Mathison would actually be the better person to speak to. He coordinates all guest speakers."

"I'd appreciate that," Dr. Schrattenhaler agreed, even while sounding somewhat confused by apparently not having found the person he'd thought he had to contact. "Thank you for your time," he nevertheless added.

"Certainly," she acknowledged. "Hold for just a moment, please."

And without waiting for a response she hit a few buttons on her phone, ringing Mathison and explaining the caller before promptly hanging up, the phone hitting its cradle a little harder than necessary.

Shaking her head then while huffing out a breath of consternation, she reached for her cell phone and rang House.

He saw the caller and smirked, detouring from the hallway where he'd been on his way back to his office, to get away from the noise and bustle, clearing his throat before hitting the talk button and saying in an overly thick German accent that was overselling it by no stretch of the imagination, "Tell me about jour treams, Dr. Cutty. Vat is it dat jou are treaming of?"

"You are dead meat when you get home tonight, House," she muttered, causing him to break with character and chuckle his amusement. "You're going to _wish _you were only dreaming, when I get done with you."

House snorted but clearly wasn't the least bit intimidated by her threats. "Where are you?" he asked then.

"Where am I?" she repeated, confused by the question. "In my office," she nevertheless disclosed. "Why?"

He was sure that meant she was alone at present. "Well, if you don't want to tell the good doctor about your dreams," he said slyly, biting back a smirk. "Why don't you tell me about them and I'll psychoanalyze you for free?"

"Pretty sure you already do that," she dryly retorted.

"Come on, Cuddy," he whined then. "I just solved my current case and I'm already bored. Out with it. Tell me what you dreamt last night."

"No!" she practically scoffed. "No way, House."

"Why not?" he petulantly demanded.

Cuddy bit her lip but sighed a second later, shaking her head. "Because…" she began hesitantly. "You already _know _more or less what I was dreaming about. Telling you exactly what I dreamt, in detail… That would be like, well, for lack of an otherwise appropriate comparison I'll just say it outright and tell you that would be like having… phone sex with you. And you might enjoy _my_ discomfort now House, but in the end that would make _you _uncomfortable," she rushed to add.

Cuddy let her words trail off, not wanting to say that he just wasn't ready yet because she didn't want to focus his thoughts anymore than she had to on whatever shortcomings he would bring to the forefront of his mind in his perception of himself.

She wasn't surprised then when he deflected, bringing the subject back to her by stating pointedly, "It's interesting that you don't have an objection to having phone sex with me. And while at work at that."

Cuddy rolled her eyes but dryly dismissed with a careless shrug, "What can I say? I'm easy prey to your charms."

House snorted into the phone again and Cuddy figured she better bring up her other objective in calling before he waylaid her thoughts further. "I was thinking," she began then, her tone changing so he'd automatically know she'd closed the door on the past portion of their conversation. "I know Julia could stay at my house like my parents did but I'd hate for her to be alone there. Would you really be all that opposed to her staying with us?"

"But I don't have the bedroom in the basement furnished," he pointed out, shifting gears to follow her, opting to skip whining and complaining about her sister potentially camping out at his place since it didn't really seem feasible anyway.

"I know," she acknowledged. "But if my mom and dad are going to stay at my place while house-hunting, they'll probably bring their furniture with. I'll have to figure out something to do with mine, unless theirs' just goes into storage for the time being. I was thinking maybe I could just bring my bedroom furniture to your house and we could use it in the basement for guests."

There was a long pause then where she heard nothing from his end and Cuddy was just about to check to see if he was still there when he quietly mumbled, "Why don't I just buy new furniture for that room?" At this point, House would rather _agree outright _to her sister staying at his house, than have Cuddy's bedroom furniture there, her sister the lesser of two evils in his book.

"Well, that would work," she agreed slowly though with skepticism lacing her words. "But that wouldn't really help me in making extra room in my house for my parents things and there's no real reason for you to go to the expense of purchasing new furniture when my things are in perfectly good shape," she added.

House huffed out a breath but reluctantly acquiesced, "I guess I don't care if you bring your bedroom furniture to the house but… just not the bed. I'll buy a new one."

"What?" Cuddy asked, confused by that statement.

But he didn't say anything and knew the exact moment when she understood what he was thinking by her sudden intake of breath.

Cuddy's hand went up to rub over her face as she closed her eyes. She could see why that would bother House, especially as prone to over-thinking and obsessing about things as he could be, though she wouldn't have personally thought of that on her own. Then again, she should have, shouldn't she? Not knowing what to say now though, she wracked her brain for an appropriate response before suggesting carefully, "What about my guest bed? The only ones who've ever used it are my parents. No one else has _ever_ slept there."

"That's fine," he compromised quietly after another moment, his tone of voice indicating that although he knew she understood what his issue was, he didn't want the subject brought up. In that moment, she didn't have any inclination to go there anyway.

"Okay," she murmured in response.

"I gotta go," House mumbled, his voice telling her he'd already checked out of the conversation.

She was not surprised by that either. Whether or not it was reality, retreat would now be his front-most objective. "Alright," she agreed. "I'll just see you at home then."

"Yeah. Bye Cuddy," he replied, sounding distracted and without any of his initial animation.

Cuddy sighed but she didn't know what to say to him now. She didn't know how to undo the question she hadn't anticipated his reaction to. "Bye House," she reluctantly murmured.

And then there was a click and he was gone and frankly, part of her was just surprised he'd waited that long to hang up.

Cuddy's head fell forward on her shoulders and into her hands once she'd put her phone away. She seriously doubted House would have cared _who _had slept in her bed with her a few years ago. But… things were different now. _Circumstances _were different. She should have anticipated that objection on his part. Yet she hadn't. And that basically meant while he'd entered the phone conversation considerably high of spirits and in the mood to be mischievous and tease her, disposed to indulge her if she wanted to chat at him, by the end of it he'd lost that, turning a bit morose in where his thoughts had taken him.

Sighing even more resignedly then, she couldn't help but think how badly they needed to just talk about Lucas and get past that… hurdle. But how did they get to that point? That was the question she didn't know how to answer.

Her cell phone rang then and she shook her head to clear it before glancing at the display. Smiling, she connected the call.

"I was just going to call you," she said to her sister in greeting.

"Then I'm saving you the effort," Julia replied with her own smile. "I booked a hotel room but I won't be able to check in until 3 p.m. I was hoping to get in though around 11. Can we grab lunch together and then… I don't know. Do you mind if I come to the hospital and just hang out in your office until you're ready to go? I have a book with me if I need it but I'm pretty sure I can do the 'annoying little sister who follows me around' thing to a T. I've got years of experience on my side, even if I'm a bit rusty of late," she quipped.

"You don't have to stay in a hotel," Cuddy only waited long enough for her sister to pause before interjecting, her brow gathered. "I spoke with House and we were going to bring some of the furniture from my place to his and set up the guest bedroom in the basement for you."

"Well now you won't have to," Julia contentedly pointed out.

Cuddy made a sound of displeasure and her sister laughed softly before saying, "It's not like I won't be with you all weekend anyway. It's just… It's a little awkward, isn't it? I know enough to determine your relationship with Greg isn't exactly conventional. It doesn't seem right to throw a sister into the mix when you two are still trying to get your bearings on where _you_ stand and how your relationship works. Besides, when I'm with you, I'm going to absorb all the time I can get with you like a sponge. It'll be good for you to be able to go home to Greg afterwards and spend time with him, just the two of you, without a little sister there to make things weird and… To be honest, this is probably going to be an emotional weekend for me… with Evie and all. I'm going to need my own space to… bawl my eyes out like us Cuddy women I'm sure are quickly getting a reputation for, should the need strike me."

Cuddy sighed but acquiesced in understanding. However, she still offered, "But you could stay in my house if you want. It's a lot less impersonal than sticking you up in a hotel."

"I don't mind hotels though. Actually, I kinda think I'd be a little creeped out in a deserted house, all by myself. Hotels have security and cameras. And besides, I'll make good use of the gym and pool there," Julia added reassuringly.

Cuddy worried her lip but then nodded, despite her sister being unable to see her. "How'd you know I'd probably need to spend part of Friday at the hospital?" she asked then with regret lacing her words.

Julia laughed but responded easily, "Conversation turned back to you and Greg before mom and dad left. I don't know if he was just trying to get her to speak to him, even if it was just via yelling, or if he was just saying what was on his mind. But he said something about Greg not being good enough for you and mom… well, she quickly became defensive." Julia laughed again, remembering the moment and explained, "She was about to set her tongue loose on him and then she caught herself only to turn to Steve and me and _politely_ ask us to relay to 'your father' as she worded it, the details of what Greg had done for you at Princeton-Plainsboro. She told us about the board meeting. I must say… He has a serious advocate in mom. And honestly, I can see why she's such a big fan of his. In any case, whether it was what she said or her reactive nature in the moment, she successfully shut dad up pretty quickly."

A pause fell between them but Julia quickly remembered she hadn't answered the original question and clarified, "So I kind of figured you might feel stuck at work for a while, regardless of whether or not you wanted to be there. Not that I'm not well aware of your tendency so much like dad's, to be a workaholic," she dryly teased.

"I've gotten better," Cuddy defended instantly.

"And how could you not with two precious daughters awaiting you at home?" Julia promptly appeased.

"And House being there," Cuddy softly added before biting her lip, her smile and tone laced with affection coming across the line, loud and clear.

"I have no doubt that _is_ an incentive," her sister teased. "Even if you aren't yet jumping him whenever you have a chance."

"_Julia,_" Cuddy gasped in shock, feeling her face go red.

"I think it's funny how you treat me like _I'm _a prude and yet you're the one whose face is aflame right now," Julia replied knowingly, sounding proud of herself in how she'd taken her sister by surprise.

"Maybe because you _are _a prude," Cuddy threw right back, gaining control of her embarrassment.

"I am not," Julia negated. "We just don't… talk about stuff like this. Not in a long time anyway. Like a lot of other things," she finished, her tone changing to one of sadness and regret.

Cuddy sucked in a breath but then determinedly said, "Well, that's about to change."

Julia smiled at her older sister's take charge attitude and admitted, "I'm glad. I've been stupid in not wanting to talk about… the past. And I've held you at a distance for too long. Sisters… Well, it's not supposed to be like that, I don't think. Your sister is the person you should be able to call whenever you've had a bad day and just need someone to vent to who will willingly sympathize with you whether you are in the right or in the wrong, although okay, they might get on your case if you're screwing up. But she's still the person you join forces with; the person who is always in your court; the person you share your secrets with; the person who… knows the good and the bad in you and loves you regardless – who doesn't have any other _choice_. Siblings are supposed to have each other's backs. We're supposed to be here for one another. And I never allowed you that chance and then… wasn't able to be here for you either when you could have used a sister just like that at _your_ side. I don't want to waste any more time, Lisa. I want to… get back on the right track with you."

"Me too," Cuddy softly murmured, honestly wanting that as well.

"So," Julia replied, her voice brightening. "That's what we'll do. And we'll start with lunch tomorrow?"

"It's a deal," Cuddy confirmed. "I'll email you directions to the hospital right now."

"Okay," Julia said. "I'll let you go and see you tomorrow at 11 a.m. I'll even eat cafeteria food if you don't feel able to leave for lunch."

"I do my best with the budget I have but even _I'm _not willing to say our food is good enough that I'd have my sister eat here. I'm thinking Olive Garden. Or maybe Chinese," Cuddy offered, still weighing options.

"Either sounds great," Julia agreed. "I will see you at 11, Lis."

"Bye Julia," Cuddy murmured then.

"Bye," her sister replied before hanging up.

Cuddy glanced at her clock and noted she had time for one more quick call before she had to do her rounds. Hitting House's number again, she smiled, waiting.

"What now?" he whined immediately upon answering.

"You don't sound very happy to hear from me," she pouted.

She could practically feel House rolling his eyes.

"You don't even have a patient right now," she added with a huff.

"Actually," House corrected. "I just got a new one. What can I say? I'm in high demand. But I was going to blow him off now anyway to go see the girls. So what do you want this time?" he retracted into sarcasm. "You're keeping me from my objective of sneaking away from my desk."

"Julia called. She's going to stay in a hotel," Cuddy finally just came out and said, ignoring his statement although it would be only too easy to argue that she'd called him on his cell so technically, he could leave his desk at any moment and still talk with her.

"Whew!" he instantly breathed out his relief, emphasizing it in a way that told her he was trying to get under her skin. "That's a load off my mind! The way I see it, I already have my hands full with one Cuddy. Two for a whole weekend would be plain misery."

"I _wish_ you had your hands full of this Cuddy," she mumbled irritably under her breath before she caught herself, her eyes widening, realizing that despite the hours that had passed since that morning, she clearly wasn't that far removed from her… _issues_ as to not need to consciously work at holding her tongue with him.

House barked out an incredulous laugh from the other side of the phone but then demanded for her to repeat herself by querying almost obnoxiously, "What did you just say?"

There was nothing wrong with his ears. He'd heard her. He just… wanted to hear her admit that again. And Cuddy wasn't about to do that. "Nothing. I didn't say anything," she declared defensively, frustrated now.

"Liar!" he accused gleefully. "You said…"

Cuddy never heard him finish his sentence, hanging up before he had opportunity to repeat her words, leaving House with an open mouth midway through his declaration, an eyebrow raised a moment later as he stuck his phone in his pocket and left his office to sneak down to see the girls, a smirk causing his mouth to twitch in humor.

* * *

House turned to watch Cuddy come around the corner after entering from the garage, Rachel already happily shrieking her name and Evie excitedly pounding on her tray where she was eating Cheerios while he pulled Chinese takeout out of a bag at the island not far away.

Cuddy bent to receive a kiss from Rachel and laughed as Evie started chanting her name, bucking about in the highchair, clearly impatient for her share of mommy's attention despite the wide toothy grin lighting up her little cherubic face. Heading to her, Cuddy leaned in and gave the baby a resounding kiss, stroking Evie's mass of currently unruly curls out of her face as the baby calmed, one hand extending to offer up a Cheerio to Cuddy's mouth, which she readily accepted, immediately praising her for sharing.

House rolled his eyes dramatically just as Cuddy turned to look at him and she gave him a glare, though it quickly melted into gently curving lips as her eyes wandered over his face.

"How was day two?" House asked then, an eyebrow quirking as he waited for her answer.

Cuddy huffed out a sigh but shrugged. "I don't know. I seriously doubt there is _anyone _at PPTH who doesn't know now, but… Maybe it was a little better than yesterday. I can't say. Other than during rounds and a couple hours of helping out in the clinic, I managed to stay in my office, away from everyone. It didn't shield me from all the second looks and secret glances I received but at least I couldn't hear them speaking in whispers. You'd have to ask Wilson I suppose. He'd be more likely to know at this point just what is going on _outside_ my office doors."

House shook his head, somewhat amused that she'd bothered to avoid confrontation when she usually thrived on it. But he couldn't say he wouldn't have holed himself up somewhere too, had he been in her shoes. He also didn't doubt she had a number of legitimate reasons at hand, ready to be delivered, to justify having been in her office all day, even if it also happened to be an effective way to escape unwanted attention.

"Chinese?" she inquired hopefully then, stepping over to peer inside the bag before eyeing what he'd already set out on the countertop, mentally taking note that lunch with her sister tomorrow would be Olive Garden.

"Yeah."

House could just make out the scent of her perfume and shampoo over the quickly emanating smell of Chinese and he absently brushed aside how welcome and alluring those scents were even as he looked up, suddenly realizing just how close she currently was where she stood beside him, her back now to the island and eyes tracing over his face.

Cuddy moistened her lips when House's breath seemed to catch at her proximity, having been thinking once again as she had numerous times throughout the day about how he'd referred to her anatomy this morning as he'd used to for the first time in what seemed like _forever_ and as his eyes widened and he swallowed hard, she followed suit before softly suggesting, "Kiss me hello?"

His body straightened at the petition, an eyebrow crooking when he'd pulled himself together before he dryly inquired with a measure of smugness coating his tone, "What happened to not being able to even look at my manly physique for fear you'd rape me?"

Her eyes narrowed as her lips pursed in outrage but she shook her irritation away at the slight smirk that crept over his lips in response to having provoked her without much effort. "What? Don't think you can handle me if I get carried away?" she retorted breathily. "Am I too much for you, House?"

"You've always been too much for me," he mumbled under his breath but in a good way, causing the corners of her lips to rise even as she stopped breathing altogether, swallowing reflexively as his head nevertheless descended, his eyes closing in the process, leaving hers to be the last to close as their lips met tentatively at first and then with more purpose.

Cuddy made a soft noise somewhere between a whimper and a moan in the back of her throat as his lips moved more confidently against hers, even as her hands came up to wrap around his neck, sliding herself more to the left so that she'd be between him and the island, pulling him into her then, the back of her hand sliding along the curve of the back of his neck and into the air as her elbow locked around his neck in turn, holding him more determinately, House's hands blindly locking onto the counter at either side of her in response, though still only loosely hemming her in.

Screw friendship, Cuddy briefly thought. I need more kisses like this!

The smell of Chinese food was quickly erased from his mind by the scent of her vanilla lip gloss she must have recently touched up and he knew he'd be licking his lips afterwards to find out if it was flavored or just scented. Cuddy buried her other hand in his hair, her fingernails lightly scratching his scalp as she'd discovered he seemed to enjoy, even as heat filled her belly and sparks flew at every established contact point of their bodies meeting, warning her she was playing with fire even if she'd known it full well when she'd asked for a kiss. She could control herself though. She had to. She wasn't ready to let him go just yet. And if it meant another night of _extremely_ realistic dreams, well… she only hoped she wouldn't wake up to interrupt her subconscious mind and leave her feeling unsatisfied and desperate again.

Breathing in through her nose as much as she could while kissing him as intently as she was, which really didn't allow for much breathing at all anyway, she regardless delighted in the scratch of his scruff against her face as their faces moved in turn, adjusting angles and pressure as they continued to kiss, House's tenderness in how he met her lips the only reason she managed to maintain some restraint mouth-wise as she pressed her chest more tightly to his, the hand that wasn't in his hair, following her arm as she unlocked it from about his neck, slipping it down to wander her hand along his shoulder and then to his back, tracing the contours of it through his t-shirt as leisurely as she could, though somehow she knew it still betrayed her eagerness to touch him and perhaps hinted as well at how wanton she felt to actually be touching his warm skin beneath it instead of just the fabric of his shirt.

The thought alone had her releasing what little oxygen she still had in her lungs as her head turned more to the right, lips increasingly applying pressure on his, even as her hand fisted in his shirt behind him, tugging it up somewhat as she brought him more fully into her and then did genuinely moan, her lips parting as her tongue slipped out to taste her lip gloss from his lips.

House's hands left the counter, one quickly gripping her waist while the other more slowly reached behind him to pry her fingers albeit gently, from his shirt, allowing her to interlace their fingers even as he regretfully pulled his mouth from hers, sucking in a breath when he was a safe distance away from her mouth, blinking at her as she stared up at him, panting, her chest heaving due to the lack of oxygen as the fingers of the hand that had been in his hair, slid to his shoulder due to settling back upon her feet.

"You's be kissin' for a loooong time," Rachel somberly told them then, drawing out her vowels and dragging their startled eyes down to where she stood beside them, head as far back as it could go on her little shoulders so as to peer up at them inquisitively.

House's eyes shifted from Rachel to a wide-eyed Evie who was just as intently focused upon them as her older sister and then back again, not yet able to formulate a response, not that he really expected to find a suitable one anyway, the wisest course of action to take probably that of just keeping his mouth shut and leaving this for Cuddy to deal with.

"Daddy, you needta apologize to mommy. You hurted her wid your kisses," Rachel told him next, interrupting his thoughts.

House's eyes flew to Cuddy's, first revealing how Rachel's words had surprised him, then shifting into confusion before ending in concern-laced doubt.

Her eyes remained on Rachel but she shook her head to tell him he hadn't hurt her at all and so House looked back to Rachel himself, a brow quirking before he semi-rasped in skeptical curiosity, "Why do you think I hurt mommy?"

"She was makin' noises like dis," Rachel explained, eyes narrowing at him for not apologizing even as she stuck her chin out in the air and effectively whimpered like a wounded animal, "Mmm, mmm, mmm," sounding not wholly unlike Cuddy; if she'd been crossed with a puppy.

House choked on his laughter even as he turned to Cuddy, watching as she averted her gaze, absolutely horrified at Rachel's imitation, her face flooding with color while her hand quickly fell from him, the other slowly untangling from his fingers so as to cover her face. Had she really made _that_ noise? Had her neediness been so genuinely represented even her two year old _daughter_ was aware of it, albeit, thankfully misinterpreting the reason for its presence? She was losing all her self-control it seemed. If things didn't turn around… Would she have any _left?_

"_It's_ _not funny, daddy!_" Rachel declared, stomping her foot, her tone of voice not so different from how Cuddy had said the exact same thing just that morning when House had picked on her, making it all the harder to censure his display of amusement.

It took him a minute but then he did manage a _somewhat_ repentant expression as he first nodded slowly in agreement with Rachel's rebuke before once more looking at Cuddy, just barely controlling his mouth as he apologized mainly to further irk her, dramatically acknowledged, "I am _so _sorry. I didn't mean to _hurt_ you. I don't know what I was thinking, kissing you like that."

Cuddy's eyes squeezed tightly closed at his over-the-top faked apology, still too mortified to look at _anyone,_ let alone House who she didn't need to see to know he was 100% entertained by the situation and just barely succeeding in masking his sarcasm.

Rachel tugged on her clothes then, worriedly asking, "Daddy _real _sorry, mommy. You forgibes him?"

Sucking in a lungful of air, she lowered her face before allowing her eyes to open, her expression pained as she met Rachel's concerned eyes to somehow acknowledge, "Yes, I forgive him."

Rachel smiled then, nodding happily before her gaze turned to her daddy. "Mommy forgibes you daddy. Maybe she eben give you cookies now."

House's eyes narrowed upon fixing on those of his sweet and yet clearly sneaky daughter, knowing just who wanted cookies at the moment as her head bobbed enthusiastically. "Yeah," he dryly mumbled. "Maybe she _will_ let me have cookies now."

"No cookies until after we eat," Cuddy managed to mutter to the both of them.

"But _mom!" _House whined sarcastically, his face echoing the pout Rachel gave her, even though she didn't say anything in response to her mommy's pronouncement.

"I _hope_ you don't kiss your mom like that," she dryly retorted under her breath so only he could hear as she brushed past him to get plates.

"Yeah, because _I _was the one trying to suck _your _face off," he muttered pointedly, receiving a glare in the next instant. "The one moaning like…"

"You finish that statement and I will disembowel you right now in front of the girls," she warned sharply, her teeth clenching as she waited for him to push his luck. "You won't even get a chance to read your fortune because I'll physically _show _you what it is."

But House snorted before rolling his eyes, turning back to the island to retrieve soy sauce packets from the bottom of the takeout bag.

"At least I now know how to get an apology out of you," she murmured after a minute as she brought plates back to his side, her eyes meeting his as she bit her lip in amusement, her eyes twinkling.

"Like I'd have apologized if I'd actually had something to apologize _for,_" he came back with, rolling his eyes again.

"Get real, House. You so would have," Cuddy countered. "Our daughter totally has you whipped."

He narrowed his eyes at her before sneering and moving his head about like an eight year old who was being annoyed by his bratty sister. "Just remember that it goes both ways," he said then, a warning spelled out in the undercurrents of his tone. "Maybe I _would _apologize to get the kid off my back, even if I didn't actually _mean_ it. But you aren't exactly the world's best apologizer, Cuddy. Not by a long shot. So you might want to think about how easily I could have her eating out of _daddy's_ hand and forcing _you _to apologize for whatever I see fit to get an apology for," he concluded argumentatively, his chin lifting almost snobbishly.

Cuddy breathed out through her nose, rolling her eyes as she shook her head, but said no more as she turned to retrieve utensils from the drawer so as to help him dish up dinner for the four of them.

* * *

Cuddy bit her lip, watching House with a soft smile from across the table unbeknownst to him as he was otherwise occupied, his attention focused on Evie, his eyes narrowed and disapproving as she lifted her head just the tiniest bit to peek up at him and see if he was watching her from under her long eyelashes after her fingers had slowly reached forward to grab another piece of carrot from her tray. He'd just gotten after her for sneakily reaching over the side of her highchair to drop food on the floor, apparently not so thrilled with her vegetables today, and Cuddy laughed softly when Evie pouted and dropped her eyes before slowly bringing her hand to her mouth to put the carrot in between her lips.

House looked at Cuddy, his mouth firming before he huffed, "_You're _supposed to be the disciplinarian. I'm the good guy."

Cuddy laughed, shaking her head, but an eyebrow rose before she asked, "Why? You're doing such a good job of keeping them in line. And _seriously?_ The _good _guy? Uh-huh. Whatever."

He snorted but then looked back at Evie to make sure she was going to swallow her carrot before checking on Rachel's progress.

Cuddy worried her lip for a moment, contemplatively eyeing House still before she cringed, finally closing her eyes to try and clear away her doubts before mentioning, "Julia should get into town sometime before lunchtime tomorrow."

House looked back at her, his expression revealing that he had no idea why she thought it necessary that he know that. It wasn't exactly as if he'd forgotten she was coming in between the time that had passed since her _second_ phone call about it that day. "And you're telling me this because…" he began, his tone laced with heavy sarcasm.

Cuddy released a breath but then moistened her lips before she reluctantly admitted, "Well, I was thinking I'd take her out for dinner tomorrow night. It isn't like I expect you'll want to join us but… I wondered if it would be okay with you if I took the girls with… If I… came and got them from daycare with Julia tomorrow afternoon and we made a girls night out of it, maybe doing some shopping as well."

House stared at her for a moment but then looked away, pushing his chair back from the table so he could get up.

"You're welcome to come with us to dinner if you'd like," she was quick to offer, her eyes squeezing shut when he still didn't look at her, just _knowing _that while he'd put her on the list, he hadn't really wanted to put her on it and wasn't happy now that she had mentioned her desire to actually take advantage of being on the list.

But he surprised her when he quietly said, "No, you can take them. I've got a couple errands to run tomorrow night anyway."

She opened her eyes to stare at him just as he turned back towards her, a Coke in his hand. "Are you sure?" she asked doubtfully, studying him as he popped the tab and brought it to his mouth to take a drink.

"Yeah," he calmly stated, returning her gaze once he'd swallowed, then heading back to his chair, Coke in hand. "I was going to see if you could watch them while I went out but this works too."

Cuddy frowned, still eyeing him, but House just sat down, placing the Coke next to his glass before reaching for his fork, his eyes returning to his plate.

"But I get them Saturday morning," he declared before she could ask about the errands he'd mentioned. "Make whatever plans you want with your sister but I want my Saturday morning with the girls."

The tension eased from her shoulders as she smiled, nodding then while eyeing him with affection. "You have yourself a deal," she agreed easily.

House just nodded before rolling his eyes when Rachel announced, "I'm done! Can I please have a cookie now?"

Cuddy shook her head in amusement but quickly bargained, "Two more bites of your mashed potatoes. _Then _you may have a cookie."

Rachel nodded, digging her spoon into her mashed potatoes a second later but only scooping up the smallest bit of mashed potatoes possible.

Cuddy sighed before correcting her while House smirked his amusement at his kid's attempts to only comply as little as possible with what had been asked of her. Smart kid; though that didn't look too promising for her mommy.

* * *

House lay in bed that night once everyone had turned in, his arms supporting his head where it lay on the pillow, eyes on the ceiling above him. He pulled a hand free to rub his face hard before expelling his breath.

She was just coming to pick the girls up after she got done at PPTH sometime tomorrow afternoon. It was no big deal. There was nothing to worry about, nothing to think on. She just… wanted to take them with her and her sister out to dinner. That was perfectly reasonable. And she'd told him he could come with if he wanted to. This was really nothing. Besides, he'd been planning to ask her to watch the girls for a bit while he slipped out anyway.

But you'd intended for her to watch the girls at home, his mind countered, frustrating the hell out of him as he didn't seem to be able to let this go, despite having agreed to her request, thinking he'd done a pretty good job of convincing her he was okay with it.

But you agreed because you…

House cut his thought off there, _knowing _why he'd agreed and genuinely irritated all the more because… Because Nolan's statements and questions had gotten to him, he admitted to himself then. He… _did_ want to make her happy. Mainly because he wanted her to stay. And so he… was making concessions he wasn't so sure he wouldn't regret because… that was the only way he knew how to make her happy – by giving her what she wanted, whether it cost him or not.

House squeezed his eyes tightly closed, his jaw clenching until he intentionally worked to relax it, trying not to let his mind focus him upon the fact that he'd done this before, in a way, but never when their relationship had actually been a satisfying one, with promise. He just… needed to get some sleep. And anyway, come Saturday, this would be behind them and he'd know just how stupid this had been. Really, what was going to happen? He was being an idiot. Cuddy'shappy. He was certain of that. He had nothing to freak out about. It would all be fine. He just… needed to trust her and that was that.

Turning over onto his side, House closed his eyes, determined to stop his mind from thinking through all the possibilities of how things could all go wrong because he'd agreed to this. It would be fine, he told himself once more, weariness finally catching up to him.

But somehow he must not have been all that convincing in his self-talk. Because that was the night the dreams started.

* * *

July 8th, 2011

House was on his second cup of coffee when Cuddy came down the next morning. He'd had a crappy night, waking up repeatedly, and he turned away when he heard her heels tapping in the hall, not wanting her to read him before he could get a grip of himself.

"Morning," Cuddy said softly as she spotted him by the sink, smiling his way even though his back was to her before she was distracted by Evie chortling happily, banging her sippy cup of water against her tray enthusiastically.

"Morning," House replied. "You got her if I go get ready for work?" he asked then, stealing a glance her way, frowning when he saw she'd straightened her hair.

Cuddy nodded but was preoccupied pressing kisses to Evie's cheeks, laughing when the baby squealed in delight, and House turned, walking out of the kitchen without further comment.

House dressed after cleaning up in the bathroom, repeatedly washing his face in hopes of erasing the signs of sleep deprivation that were only too obvious in his own eyes. When he left his room Cuddy was climbing the stairs, Evie in her arms, Rachel up from the sounds coming from upstairs of something being banged against the gate before Cuddy admonished her, and House headed into the kitchen to take Cookie Monster outside. Then he came back inside, the dog running around in circles at his feet, and House stepped carefully around Cookie Monster before heading to the cabinets to get Rachel a bowl so that she could have some of the oatmeal Cuddy had clearly prepared for her while he'd been in his room.

Filling a sippy cup with milk, he grabbed it, along with the oatmeal, and placed them at Rachel's spot at the table, a small smile finding its way upon his lips a couple minutes later as he heard Rachel rambling animatedly at Cuddy as what he guessed was probably Baby G, thumped against the stairs on their way down.

"Mornin' daddy!" Rachel exclaimed when she caught sight of him, running to him and wrapping her arms around his legs.

House looked down at her with an eyebrow raised and ruffled her hair before picking her up, carrying her over to her booster seat before placing her within it.

"Thank you," Cuddy said then, seeing that he'd already dished up the oatmeal for Rachel.

"No problem," he replied, glancing her way and meeting her eyes for the first time that morning.

Cuddy smiled up at him but then her forehead knitted as she adjusted Evie on her hip before approaching him. "Are you feeling alright?" she asked worriedly, biting her lip before her hand came up to place the back of it against his forehead, as if checking for a temperature.

"I'm fine," he stated dismissively. "I just didn't get as much sleep as I could have used last night," he added, knowing he had to give her _something _or she'd just keep hovering about him, her expression enough to tell him she hadn't believed his initial statement of being fine.

"Did you stay up too late watching your soaps?" she inquired teasingly, still eyeing him but no longer worrying her lip, her hand having fallen back to her side.

He just snorted, not giving her an answer and allowing her to conclude what she would from his response.

Cuddy shook her head in a "What can you do with him?" sort of way but then handed Evie to him before reaching to grab a clean bottle from the counter, preparing it a moment later.

House handed Evie back to her minutes later when she reached for her and watched her settle the baby into the crook of her arm before slipping the bottle in Evie's waiting mouth, talking to the baby as she walked about the kitchen, glancing at the clock to make sure she still had time.

"Can I stop by your office with the girls this afternoon before we head out?" she asked him then, returning her gaze to him and watching him attentively.

House's eyes widened incrementally at the request but he nodded silently, internally somewhat relieved as it would probably relieve some of his… stress about this if she chose to drop by so he could see them quickly before they all headed out.

"Good," Cuddy said in acknowledgement, smiling up at him before she reached up to cup his face in affection, stroking his scruffy cheek a moment before she glanced Rachel's way to see if she was making any progress with her oatmeal, her eyes then returning to Evie in her arms, hand leaving his face to smooth Evie's hair.

"Want some coffee?" he asked then, not sure if she'd drank a cup while he'd been in his room or not.

"Thanks but I'm going to grab some on the road, I think," she replied after deliberating a moment.

House nodded and then turned to shut off the coffee pot before asking, "What time do you think you'll be home tonight?"

Cuddy _loved _that he phrased it in such a way that made his house her home too, though she supposed it really was her home, it at least feeling more like home now than her own house did. "I don't imagine we'll be any later than 9:30," she said then, answering him. "Rachel won't last any later than that and carrying two sleeping kids around isn't in my game plan today. Besides, I know you're going to want to see them tonight, whether or not you'll admit that," she teased.

The corner of House's mouth went up in response, but he didn't reply, not denying it either, simply watching her feed Evie her bottle where they stood before him.

"I changed her diaper but Rachel woke up before I could change her outfit. It's sitting there for you though," Cuddy informed him, looking up at him before adding, "She's almost done. Do you mind feeding her the rest? I should really go so that Julia doesn't have to wait too long for me to finish all I need to get done today before leaving work."

House just reached for Evie in answer and Cuddy passed her off, moving the baby's hair from her forehead before leaning in to press a kiss there while Evie watched from over her bottle, her little hands wrapped around it and mouth eagerly pulling in the formula without interruption.

Cuddy then stepped away to press a kiss to Rachel's forehead, telling her to, "Be a good girl today, sweetie," before she reached for her purse, slipping it on her arm.

Tossing her hair back over her shoulder, Cuddy then turned back to him, closing the distance between them the next moment to lean in towards him while up on her tiptoes, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth before squeezing his arm and then heading for the door.

He watched her go, his own expression contemplative while his forehead knit in thought, frowning only slightly. But when the door to the garage opened and shut behind her he refocused on Rachel, grabbing a napkin to wipe her chin before the oatmeal that was making its way down her face could drip onto her shirt and require him to change both of their clothes for the day.

* * *

Wilson had hoped Foreman had moved on in the time since he'd last seen him about the 4th floor but he couldn't say he was surprised to find him walking beside him a minute after he slipped out of his last patient's room, having finished his morning rounds. Raising an eyebrow, he nevertheless waited, not about to help him out by voluntarily starting the conversation.

"Dr. Foreman," he politely acknowledged when the other doctor said nothing, stopping at the nurse's station to hand off some notations he'd made, not unaware of how Foreman paused to await him.

They'd only just started walking again when Foreman said in a low tone so as to not be overheard, "Look, I get you don't want to give out information on the story with your friend. And frankly, I'm losing interest fast, along with finding it suspicious that the few people who would potentially know, are incrementally making it harder for me to do my job each time I try and get details out of them," he dryly added. "But…"

"Don't you have better things to do with your time?" Wilson interrupted upon Foreman reaching his "but" to inquire, his face revealing his own weariness of being asked by anyone and everyone for details he wasn't about to give, as he came to a standstill and stared Foreman down.

"Are _you _the reason everyone's giving me a hard time?" Foreman shifted gears suddenly to suspiciously ask.

"Don't look at me," he quickly negated, starting to walk again as he shook his head before giving Foreman another pointed look. "_I _have better things to do with my time."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Foreman huffed, rolling his eyes. "I get it. I obviously don't. But look, all I want to know is… Thirteen thinks there might be a chance House will be coming back to PPTH, which… seems like a stretch if even a couple of the rumors circulating this week about House and his kid are true."

Wilson gave him a bored look and Foreman pressed on, stating, "I just want to know if you think that might be likely. _Will _House be returning to PPTH? Would the Board actually take him back on?"

Wilson had at first been surprised at _anyone _concluding this week there was a possibility of House returning but following that surprise he'd just been tired of being questioned and then irritated with Foreman for making it seem like House wouldn't be wanted back here by any rational-minded person. Setting that aside, Wilson just answered honestly, "I don't see House coming back here," amending a second later, "I don't see House _wanting _to come back here either."

Foreman studied Wilson for a minute but then nodded, accepting Wilson's response, knowing him enough to know he was a crappy liar and that that was the main reason why he was simply refusing to tell anyone anything. He watched as Wilson turned then without saying anything further, heading back into his office and shutting the door behind him.

He guessed at the very least he now knew that if House was to come back, the process of that happening hadn't begun or at least hadn't arrived at a stage where it would have reached the ears of the person House was most likely to tell. That being enough to satisfy him for now, he turned to head back towards the elevator, not sure whether he wanted back on Diagnostics or not but not having any reason to require him answering that question just yet either. It was mainly that… _if _House came back, there was a team to be recreated. If Cameron came back, one spot would be filled. Thirteen had already indicated her interest in another. Taub he wasn't sure about one way or the other but Chase… might actually sign up to work with his wife again, it not being wholly impractical as he'd always been a fan of House's as well. Should the Diagnostics department surge back into existence though, what Foreman _didn't_ want was to lose out on an opportunity to rejoin before knowing whether it was an opportunity that would be advantageous _and_ desired on his part.

* * *

"Dr. Cuddy, your sister is here to see you," Janine informed her later that morning, poking her head in and then stepping back against the door to allow Julia to pass once her boss had nodded that it was okay.

"I thought you were going to call me as you were driving in so that I could meet you at the door?" Cuddy asked as she pushed her chair back to get to her feet, smoothing her skirt as she walked to her sister before only semi-awkwardly giving her a hug, greetings having been so infrequent between them in recent years that she wasn't really sure how she was to greet her sister anyway.

Julia laughed but raised an eyebrow before dryly quipping, "I figured I could manage to find your office on my own, _without getting lost_. Thank you very much for the show of confidence."

Cuddy shook her head, smiling nevertheless, and motioned her in. Julia stepped in then and set her purse down on the nearby chair before she walked around the office, her hand out and finger trailing over the book bindings as she passed shelves, inspecting her sister's office before turning her eyes to a photo of Rachel nearby.

"I can't believe how big she's gotten," she murmured absently, shaking her head at how much time had passed without seeing each other between Rachel's first birthday and the previous weekend. "She'll be three soon. How did _that _happen?"

Cuddy groaned, her hand going to her face as she sat back down behind her desk to save the files she had open on her computer screen so that they could leave. "Don't remind me," she wryly replied. "I'm not ready to think about how close we are to needing to check into preschools. Not to mention the fight I'll have to talk House into letting her go when he'll just want her to stay a part of the daycare where he can see her every time he wants to."

Julia cast a glance her sister's way, smiling sympathetically after laughing at her commentary regarding House's apparent reluctance to have Rachel grow up as well. "You think you've got it bad? The boys are already talking about what colleges they want to attend. Do you realize how old that makes me feel?"

Cuddy laughed at the expression her sister shot her and then watched as Julia turned her head to sneak a peek inside the nearby bathroom.

"I knew you were important but… you've done well for yourself, Lis," Julia commented then.

Cuddy gave her a wry look before asking skeptically, "You came to that conclusion just from looking about my office? It's… an office. It probably says more about PPTH than it does me."

Julia laughed but then looked back at her sister over her shoulder rather knowingly. "Believe it or not, I _do_ know you. And this has you written all over it. I'm sure they made _several_ concessions, budget-wise, in order to suit your tastes."

Cuddy rolled her eyes but it was true. She _had _talked them into allowing her a bigger budget after her office had been taken over by a lunatic and ended up in desperate need of a makeover, reminding them that all too often donations were influenced by atmosphere and she needed a great one if she was going to sell PPTH, already having proved her worth to them in the years she'd already put in here.

"I'm almost done," she murmured, logging off.

Julia nodded, approached her desk then and lifting up the picture frame of Evie to study it. Cuddy bit her lip as she got to her feet once more, studying her sister, not missing the trace of sadness in her eyes and how she blinked rapidly, swallowing hard before lifting her eyes to meet Cuddy's, giving her a trembling smile.

"She really is just adorable, isn't she?" she murmured. "All that curly hair, baby chub and those big blue eyes…"

Cuddy sucked in a ragged breath, laughing softly at how emotional a simple question and her sister's commentary had made her as she tried to swallow her own emotion while nodding her agreement, knowing it wasn't just the question but… _all_ of it that had her on the verge of tears in her office; everything she'd gone through to get to this point, claiming Evie as her own and being mommy to this precious little baby she'd been entrusted with despite all her mistakes, and then on top of it, her sister's situation and emotion making her own blessing all the more wondrous.

Julia nodded slightly even though the question had been her own and moved her hand a bit in the air thoughtfully before carefully lowering the frame back to the desk, reaching for the other picture frame there.

Cuddy sighed softly as her sister smiled at the picture of Cuddy, House, Rachel, and Evie. Glancing up at Lisa, Julia quietly acknowledged, "It's still a little hard to believe that you and Greg found your way back to each other after all these years. And that you suddenly, for me anyway, have another daughter who will be a year old before too long," she added wryly.

Cuddy bit her lip once more, feeling guilty that her sister hadn't known about Evie sooner but that was really only part of what she was feeling in the moment, not so sure she could claim that she and House had found their way back to one another but… maybe in a way her sister wasn't _so_ far off. Still, she knew she had a lot to explain, not that she wanted to do that here. "I'm ready if you are," she said then, giving her sister a small smile before heading for her purse.

Julia nodded, retrieving her own purse before asking, "My car or yours?"

"We'll take mine," Cuddy replied decisively, generally preferring to be in the driver's seat. "I'm sure you could use a break from driving anyhow," she nevertheless excused.

Julia nodded and followed her out, pausing beside her when she stopped to relay instructions to Janine before they continued on their way.

"Olive Garden?" Cuddy checked, glancing at her sister while hitting the key fob to unlock her car doors as they approached her car.

"Sounds heavenly," Julia agreed readily, climbing into the car a second later.

Cuddy got in as well and started the engine before putting on her seat belt.

"Can I ask you a question?" Julia inquired then a little hesitantly.

Cuddy glanced her way but nodded slowly, her forehead wrinkling as she focused on pulling out of her parking space.

"What happened between you and Lucas? I mean, don't get me wrong. I don't care who you are with as long as you're happy and really, it's none of my business anyway but… You were engaged to be married and then the next thing I hear you and Lucas hadn't worked out. Mom never really explained why though. You said the other day that Lucas ended it and if I remember correctly, it was partly because of Greg but… what happened?" Julia asked, falling silent, now watching her sister observantly.

Cuddy sighed but had already figured she'd be recounting the past in more detail this weekend and honestly wanted to, simply because… if there was any chance of her and her sister having a _real _relationship and being close, they would _both _have to take risks and be honest with one another. As she pulled out of the parking lot, she drew in a breath and then little by little, built upon the explanation she'd given on the 4th, recounting how House had communicated his desire to be with her, how she'd already been with Lucas, and briefly what had taken place between his disclosure of being interested and the dissolution of her relationship with Lucas at Christmas.

Julia listened attentively, nodding here and there but generally not asking many questions, not wanting to interrupt her sister's flow and even upon reaching the restaurant, they remained in the car for a while, Cuddy reaching the point of the story where she'd gone to House's apartment and fought with him. She figured her sister really didn't need the details so she just recounted how the phone had then rung in the middle of the night, House answering it, and how she'd left shortly thereafter to go seek out Lucas. After reliving that conversation with him, giving him back her key to his place but all the while hoping he'd stop her only to not have that be what happened, and how she'd then continued to try and contact him in the months that followed, hoping to convince him to take her back, she finally fell silent, not as embarrassed as she had expected to be by sharing all the details, but mostly just sad over how it had all gone down and how much she still regretted clinging so hard to what was clearly not meant to be, feeling all the more pathetic by the time she was through with her explanation.

"Are you over Lucas?" Julia queried after a moment, her own face revealing traces of sympathy and sadness.

But that question only made Cuddy laugh softly before she breathed in and released her breath, shaking her head at the memory of how crazy she'd been and yet how seeing Lucas again had been nothing like she'd expected it to be when it finally happened. But understanding that her sister didn't know how to interpret her expression, she nodded firmly. "I am _so _over Lucas," she affirmed, recounting then how she'd run into him last winter only to find she felt nothing whatsoever regarding him, except for a mixture of embarrassment and humiliation over her behavior.

Turning in her seat she finally pushed her door open, the two of them having been inside the car but in front of the restaurant with the engine off long enough for the heat outside to make it uncomfortable to remain within. Julia promptly followed suit, unbuckling her seatbelt and climbing out as well before walking around the car to join Lisa, heading into the restaurant together.

Once they were seated in a quiet corner of the restaurant, the waiter came to take their drink orders. Julia accepted his offer of wine but Cuddy turned it down and so Julia looked at her, an eyebrow raised, surprised to see her sister turn down a glass of wine when she was generally the more likely of the two to have a glass with her meal, not that she was judging her for it.

Cuddy laughed softly, understanding what her sister was thinking, and waited only until the waiter was out of hearing range, not necessarily because she cared if anyone heard but just because, and then explained with a shrug, "I'm on antidepressants."

"Still?" Julia asked, vaguely surprised. "Are you still…?"

Cuddy shook her head, negating her sister's unfinished quandary, but clarified, "I'm on a fairly low dose now and I don't know that I need it but… with all the changes in my life, secrets being confessed, and especially with the meeting with the Board hanging over my head up until last Friday, the outcome still uncertain at that point, it seemed best to stick with them for the time being."

"And you can't mix alcohol with antidepressants," Julia filled in.

Cuddy laughed and then rolled her eyes in self-depreciation before dryly admitting, "The last time I decided to drink while being on my antidepressants, I ended up in jail."

Julia's eyes widened in surprise before she asked teasingly, "Why do I get the feeling that there is a juicy story there?"

Cuddy laughed again, shaking her head before pursing her mouth at how little she was presently minding airing parts of her dirty laundry to her sister despite years of competitiveness and rivalry. Taking a sip of water, she closed her eyes briefly before recounting how House had come to the hospital and she'd seen him for the first time in a long time and felt things she hadn't anticipated feeling, how their mother had been in town for a visit and had pushed for her to go to House, how she had brought up the baby, a topic which at that point, Cuddy wasn't ready to discuss, and how in the end, Cuddy had concluded that she needed to get over the past, moving on, and exactly _how_ she'd intended to do that. She related how she'd found herself in Georgia and what had taken place there, right through waking up in jail and House being the one to come for her, only pausing when the waiter returned to take their order. By the time their food came she'd arrived at the point where she discovered that House and Rachel had been building a relationship behind her back. She had skipped over the details of the car ride home and how she'd… thrown herself at him after drinking again, that being too personal for even her to share with her sister, preferring for that to remain between her and House; but otherwise, there were not many details she abstained from sharing. And as they ate, Cuddy briefly summarized the weeks that followed leading up to the first time she laid eyes on Evie, which she had more or less already told her sister about on the 4th.

They were both silent for a time, lost in thought after Cuddy had arrived at the point of her story where House agreed to let her back into the picture, giving her a chance to build a relationship with Evie and be her mommy.

"After you and Greg slipped away into the house Monday night, mom disclosed that you hadn't actually lost your rights; that that was what Greg needed to talk with you about," Julia finally broke the silence to bring up. "She didn't say much more than that but… I imagine that was a relief to hear. I can… understand how devastating that would have been to live with; how regretting that would have eaten away at you."

Cuddy swallowed hard, her hands shaking slightly as she brought her napkin up to wipe her mouth before pushing aside her plate. She worried her lip a moment and then reached up quickly to wipe away a tear that she hadn't been successful in holding back. "I fully meant for my rights to be terminated," she murmured honestly. "I think living with that reality once I _did _want Evie… Well, it killed me to know I'd chosen that; that I was responsible for that and would forever have to live with that decision. To find out that they _hadn't_ been terminated… I still don't know all of what went on in that courtroom that day but… I don't think I could ever thank House enough for _not _allowing my rights to be terminated as I'd requested."

Julia nodded in understanding and then smiled wryly before admitting, "He isn't exactly how I remember him." And then she released a breath as she reconsidered before tilting her head and reformulating, "Well, he is and he isn't. He used to be a lot cockier. Although maybe I just caught him on a good day," she added, seeing Cuddy's smile widen.

"Dad clearly isn't wholly convinced of his character," Julia continued. "But… I don't know. Mom's a great judge of character and she adores him. Dad… well, maybe he's just being dad. But in any case, it was obvious the other day that Greg returns mom's affection and he was very attentive to both you and the girls. He's… mellowed a little, I guess. I think that's what I'm trying to say, anyway."

The waiter came then to check and see if they'd be having dessert, leaving the bill when they both rejected the idea. Cuddy considered her sister's words once he was gone, biting her lip in thought. "I don't know if he's mellowed," she finally replied. "I mean, perhaps he _has_ in a way. I _guess _he has. I just… don't like thinking about how things have affected him, though these days I often have no choice but to do so. I _love _how he is with the girls. I do. I love it. I just… I don't want what he had to go through given our situation to… have had such an enormous effect upon him as to change him on such a grand scale. And the truth is… he's still House. Now that he isn't at PPTH working for me," she added with regret, frowning momentarily, "I don't really have the same relationship with him I did before. Well, I don't anyway but what I mean is that the situation is different. He's not under my authority, not that he ever respected my authority all that much or felt obligated to submit to whatever verdict I doled out regarding the care of his patients in the first place. Still, I think if he _were_ back at PPTH, he would act a whole lot more like the House I used to employ; snarky, determined to do things his way, not bothering himself with bureaucracy nor doing things through the appropriate channels… Now our relationship is so different that… He _is _House but he isn't at the same time. Or maybe it's better to word it as my seeing a different side to him. _Circumstances _are different. And things are awkward at times. And maybe… maybe House is more _House _when he forgets why he… shouldn't still be House. Does that make any sense? When he forgets all that lies between us, he's more disposed to treat me as he used to; to tease and challenge and just in general, treat me the way he used to. _I love him_. I loved him as he was and I love him for who he is now. But I guess I would love just as much to have the two come together completely. As crazy as this probably makes me sound, I would love to have him feel free to equally be the man who used to drive me nuts and the man who now _overwhelms me_ with just how good a daddy he's become and how thoughtful he can really be. It isn't that he's changed into a completely different man. It's just that, well… He's filled out the layers that make him who he is. And I don't want him to be who he was or who he is now for _me. _Nor for our girls. I just want him to be who he is… for _him,_" she concluded finally.

Julia nodded in understanding and Cuddy pursed her lips, staring at her sister for a moment before shrugging. Julia then reached for the bill, snatching it up before Cuddy could.

"_Julia_," Cuddy rebuked, but she just smiled, slipping her credit card in the slot before holding it out for their waiter to take as he passed by.

"My treat," she said then. "Youcan pay for dinner tonight, if you want."

Cuddy shook her head, huffing out a breath, but relented as she really had no choice, the waiter having promptly walked away with the bill to run Julia's credit card.

"Besides," Julia added with a smile. "I made you do the majority of the talking. You can pay tonight when the tables are turned."

"I'll have the girls with though," Cuddy countered dryly. "I'm not sure how much in-depth talking they will allow us."

Julia laughed but nodded her agreement.

"I _am_ however hoping we can sneak out of PPTH before too long and get a little shopping in _before _we head over to get the girls from daycare," Cuddy amended. "I think I've accomplished almost as much as I absolutely have to before I can be free of the hospital for the next couple days."

"Well then I'll make good use of every minute we have before we go get the girls," Julia concluded contentedly, accepting her credit card from the waiter when he stopped by to return it, thanking them for coming.

Cuddy contemplated her sister before they both got to their feet, a smile on her face, not regretting the past so much as being thankful for this second chance at a… _better_ relationship with Julia than she'd previously had in quite some time.

* * *

House paced his office as he had been doing for some time now, frowning while bouncing his ball off of the floor before him as he went. He'd sent Cameron off to check on their patient, mainly to get her off his back so he wouldn't have her constantly eyeing him with concern, not understanding his apparent anxiety and asking questions he had no intention of answering. Cuddy had said she'd swing by with the girls before leaving RE. He… frankly, wanted to go camp out in the daycare to make sure she wouldn't forget to come by and to know exactly when she came for the girls but… he was refusing to do that, even while it augmented his stress, because he didn't want to _not _trust her to follow through on what she'd said or come across as reluctant to have her take the girls, though he _was, _because he'd done what he could to allow her to think he was okay with it since… he needed to keep her happy so that she'd have no reason to leave.

He was annoyed with himself for that though. He was not one to normally bother himself with making sure others were happy and to have come to this point was both bewildering and intimidating, all at the same time. It wasn't that he was inclined to allow people out of his life once he'd gotten used to them being in it, Wilson being an obvious example of that, though his way of generally keeping them around was perhaps typically more manipulative or overbearing than anything else, despite his success rate. But it was just that to come to this point, he'd so obviously allowed Cuddy to reach a place he'd sworn not to let her touch again and… to compulsively feel it was necessary to make her happy, no matter how impossible he worried that would prove to be, made him feel all the more out of sorts and conflicted.

She would come though, he told himself again. And he would _not _call Ruth to find out if the girls were still there. He would… He would trust her because he was determined to even if his anxiety level revealed just how far he fell from actually _trusting her._

"Daddy!" he heard Rachel yell happily then, just the sound of her voice coming from the hallway enough to melt the stress that had built up, right out of his shoulders.

Turning, he watched, a smile playing on his lips, as Rachel ran to him and threw herself at his good leg.

"Mommy says we's goin' to the park and out ta dinner with her an' Aunt Julia," she informed him brightly.

He looked up to spot Julia and Cuddy as they stepped into his office, Evie in Cuddy's arms.

Cuddy studied him, a frown on her face as she'd spotted him before Rachel had seen him and ran off, leaving her side. "What's wrong?" she couldn't help but ask, despite how his face had cleared when Rachel called his name. "Something with a patient?"

House realized how transparent he must have been for her to even ask and quickly shrugged the question off, simply mumbling, "Long day," before he reached for Evie, carefully tossing her up into the air, the corner of his mouth rising when she giggled happily before he buried his face in her neck, Evie swatting her hands at him when he pulled her back to see her face, her eyes cringing from the contact with his scruffy jaw as she started babbling nonsense, her fist quickly finding its way into her mouth.

"Hey," House finally said to Julia, acknowledging her presence after settling Evie in his arms, his hand going down to smooth Rachel's hair absently where she still hung on his good leg.

"Hi Greg," she greeted with a smile.

House raised an eyebrow, it being weird to have her call him by his first name, despite the fact that when he'd met her when she was younger, she'd of course called him by it naturally and not by his last, so it really shouldn't surprise him that she would automatically refer to him as she had twenty years ago, though that still didn't make it less… weird for him, being that so few people actually used his name as Julia was doing.

Cuddy read his expression, understanding because it was odd for her too, and she laughed, drawing Julia's questioning eyes to her face.

But Cuddy's eyes remained on House, reinforcing what Rachel had shared by saying, "We're going to take the girls to the park for a bit and then probably do a little shopping, for as long as they will allow us to. We actually just came from the one of the nearby boutiques but Julia wants to buy her nieces some things…"

Julia interrupted before Cuddy could finish, filling in, "Since I so rarely have opportunity to splurge on anyone other than my boys. Trust me it will be a nice change. They're at an age where they have their _own _opinions about what they will and will not wear. Rachel _might _have an opinion now but Evie won't care what her aunt opts to buy her. And it will be nice to shop for girls things anyways," she concluded brightly.

House looked skeptically at her but shrugged his indifference, though from his expression it was obvious the _last _thing he'd want to do would be going clothes shopping.

Julia laughed at his expression and Cuddy smiled as well before adding, "We'll go to get a bite afterwards."

"Want to join us? Participate in girl talk?" Julia inquired with a wide grin, clearly certain he would want nothing to do with that either.

House scoffed and immediately shook his head. "No thanks," he muttered instantly. "I've got my own plans."

"What are your plans?" Cuddy asked curiously then, seizing on what he'd said as she reached to take Evie back from him, House reluctantly surrendering her.

"I've just got some errands to run," he replied casually, though his eyes had a mysterious glint in them that had Cuddy's eyes narrowing in suspicion.

She pressed her lips together but Rachel interrupted, asking, "We go to the park now?"

Cuddy reluctantly decided not to push him further, her eyes dropping to meet Rachel's. "Yes," she affirmed with a nod.

"Kiss, kiss," Rachel declared, hopping up and down at House's side, tugging on his pants, clearly wanting to leave to go to the park but not without her standard kiss goodbye.

House huffed out a breath, embarrassed with Julia here for _this, _it being bad enough that Cuddy was here to see him acquiesce to Rachel's demands. But he bent down to receive her kiss all the same, thankful when it was a quick one just barely hitting the corner of his mouth, House then rifling her hair as he straightened back up, avoiding Julia's amused gaze.

"We'll be home by 9:30, I should think," Cuddy reaffirmed, biting her lip as she debated whether or not she could give him a kiss too. But with resignation she decided that maybe House wouldn't like that, this being his workplace and there being potential witnesses walking the halls, so she only reached out to touch his arm lightly before she adjusted Evie in her arms and reached for Rachel's hand.

House stopped her from walking away though, a hand on her arm, and for a second she held her breath while he craned his neck to look out the door before he leaned in, hoping he was going to kiss her goodbye. But House only pressed his mouth to Evie's cheek before he straightened, his eyes meeting Cuddy's.

"I'll see you at home," he agreed.

Cuddy nodded, trying to keep her disappointment in his not kissing her from reflecting in her eyes, and then turned, Julia following her, taking Rachel's other hand once they were in the hallway. He watched them as they walked away, Rachel happily looking back at him from over her shoulder as she went, Evie babbling contentedly from over Cuddy's shoulder, and though he genuinely felt fine about this right now, he nevertheless found himself mumbling, "They'll be home tonight," under his breath, as if to reassure himself.

* * *

House released a pent up breath of air from his lungs at the sound of the garage door going up, self-loathing momentarily filling him as he clenched his jaw, disgusted with himself for acting this way. It wouldn't have been so bad, he thought to himself, but that last dream from the night before had stuck with him, as ridiculous as every detail of it had been, and therein he cursed himself for letting a stupid dream affect him so.

Heading to the back door, pushing aside his angst and allowing himself to just focus on his relief, he opened the door and held it open then as Cuddy entered with Evie asleep in her arms, Rachel at her side but clearly only half-awake.

Cuddy gave him a small weary smile as she passed and House bent down, scooping Rachel up when the little girl stopped beside him, leaning into him, mumbling, "Hi daddy," in a very sleepy voice.

She settled herself into his arms, her head on his chest, fingers of one hand curling into his armpit while the other hand threw itself around his arm, and House's smile widened as he felt her swallow against him, a little sigh emitting in the next minute before Rachel's eyes closed, her breathing that of a child submitting to sleep.

Carrying her through the house, he shut the door and then gave Cookie Monster a warning look as he whined and shifted on his dog pillow, clearly wanting to play now that Rachel was home, but lying back down on his pillow before the puppy released a resigned breath himself. A minute later House entered Rachel's room, having paused only a few seconds at the bottom of the stairs to watch Cuddy as she began to strip Evie's clothes off to change her diaper before putting pajamas on her. Now he shoved the sheets down on Rachel's bed before carefully sinking down on it and then lowering her down as well, removing her shoes before unsnapping her jeans and slipping them off her without difficulty before he pursed his mouth, eyeing her shirt. He'd leave her in it but it didn't look all that comfortable. Getting to his feet, he instead went to her dresser to grab a nightgown for her so that he could take the shirt off and put the nightgown over her head in one fell swoop. A second later he was back, lowering himself to the bed before carefully propping her head up to allow him to pull her shirt off, the nightgown already bunched up so that all he'd have to do was grab it to slide it on her. Rachel sighed in her sleep, her mouth moving a little and legs curling up towards him, but otherwise she just lay there, not waking as he quickly did what he had to do to get her ready for bed. The nightgown on, House lifted her back into his arms to allow him to straighten it about her before he pressed an absentminded kiss to her forehead, Rachel surprising him when her arms enclosed around him almost as a reflex, mumbling, "Love you daddy," even though her eyes were closed.

"I love you," he quietly murmured back, a wry smile playing on his lips before he lowered her back to the bed, Rachel releasing him easily as she turned on her side.

House reached for the sheets and settled them about her before he glanced around. Spying Baby G at the foot of her bed, he reached for the doll, shaking his head with amusement before he tucked the doll under Rachel's arm so she was close at hand, the way Rachel preferred it. Then he pushed himself to his feet before heading out of the room, turning the nightlight on as he went before hitting the overhead light out and closing the door partway.

He stopped in Evie's room to watch her sleep for a moment before continuing on into the kitchen, where he knew Cuddy would be, not surprised to see her making herself a cup of tea while Cookie Monster sat at her feet, his tongue lolling out as he watched her.

Cuddy smiled at the puppy before reaching for her mug, selecting a tea from the variety she kept on hand a second later. She jumped then upon realizing House had entered the kitchen unbeknownst to her, shaking her head when he laughed softly at her reaction.

"How did it go?" he asked, a mild curiosity revealing itself in his tone.

Cuddy bit her lip, her thoughts immediately jumping to when she and Julia had been shopping, just the two of them, before swinging by PPTH. Lucas had come up again, Cuddy acknowledging that even though Lucas was in many ways a long forgotten part of the past for her, he yet seemed to be between them, House unwilling to speak about him or even hear her say his name. That had led to some explanations she hadn't wanted to make, though vague ones at most when it came to her pregnancy, there being no way in hell she was going to share intimate details that were as far as she knew, just between her and House, besides Kate knowing and perhaps Nolan as well, though she had no way of knowing _that _and kind of doubted it anyway, House being well, House_._ Julia had suggested she bring it out into the open and get it over with but… Cuddy just wasn't sure. What she _really _wanted was for House to bring it up. If he was the one to choose to go there, she wouldn't feel like she was forcing him and demanding something from him he wanted nothing to do with. But she wasn't sure he ever would, which _eventually _would force her to do so. But at present she just… Things were going well between them and she didn't want that to change. She didn't want to risk upsetting him or driving him away from her when he finally seemed ready to commit, at least on some level, to her not just being a part of his life because of the girls but a part of his life because he wanted her to be and because he didn't want… to lose her, even if their relationship right now was somewhere between what they'd once had and what they hoped to attain, _eventually._ He was at a place where he could _acknowledge _he wanted that. Cuddy didn't want to take that for granted. She also didn't want to ask for more on top of that, appearing unsatisfied when he was honestly trying hard to allow her in, all on his own.

House eyed Cuddy worriedly, her silence and reservation bothering him and making him… doubt things. He waited for her response without pressing her, though his own mind was busily at work, trying to puzzle her out, working at whether her silence was an indication that her time with her sister hadn't been what she'd hoped for or if it was that they'd… talked about himand… it had caused Cuddy to question what in the world she was doing, hanging around, waiting. But no, she was happy. He knew she was. She had been that morning anyway. But then he couldn't help questioning, had he really paid her all that much attention this morning? He'd been lost in his own world and trying to mask his own issues. No. She had been _fine. _She'd touched him and kissed him before leaving and so no, she'd been okay. She hadn't been _unhappy _anyway.

So…

"Having Julia here not all you expected it to be?" he finally asked dryly, forcing himself to sound a little cavalier in the moment, pulling her from her thoughts as he frowned nevertheless, studying her intently.

But she instantly smiled, her stormy expression clearing as she shook her head. Laughing softly, she assured, "No. Sorry. I'm not answering your question. I guess I got lost in thought. But no, it's been really good to spend time with her. I… I don't think I realized just how much I've missed this – having a relationship with her, and a good one at that, or… at least one with definite promise. I…"

Sobering then, Cuddy sighed before looking at him earnestly, her nose scrunching. "It's been a long time since I've had a female friend. You and Wilson were all the friends I had for such a long time. Then I lost you both and… had no one. And I've just never been very good at developing relationships with other women, anyway. My life's been too complicated and structured for investing in a relationship outside the workplace and honestly, it would be hard to find someone willing to put up with me, given that I'd always end up having to break plans when work got in the way or something else came up. Relationships with other women… They're _complicated. _Once you hit middle school anyhow. And granted Julia's my sister but…" Cuddy paused thoughtfully before amending, "Erika's great and I really like her but… her loyalty is to you. And I have no interest in changing that," she quickly added. "But it's nice to have someone… who from the get go, will look out for _me_."

House's frown deepened, conflicted over what she'd said and what he was to take from it, and then he looked away before mumbling, "You don't think I'm looking out for you," branching out in only one of the number of ways his mind had already gone in hearing what she'd said.

"I _do_," she quickly reassured earnestly, reaching out to rest her hand on his bicep. "I do, House."

"But it's not enough," he continued before she could go on.

Cuddy expelled a breath, tucking her chin down to look up at him pointedly even while he avoided her gaze. "House, I didn't mean it like that. I guess I wasn't thinking about how you'd take that when I said it. I was just… You're taking this personally and it isn't about you at all," she told him wryly then, her other hand coming up to stroke his chest right down the center, tracing the space from his belly to his sternum. "House, all I'm saying," she reasoned, her hand dropping back to her side. "Is that in answer to your question, I _am _enjoying my time with Julia."

"But you didn't answer my question right away," he reluctantly mumbled, clearly not satisfied, his eyes only briefly coming into contact with her own.

Cuddy bit her lip, not knowing what to say. If she was honest and brought Lucas up, explaining where her thoughts had gone and why she hadn't responded before he could prod her for a response, she might shortly regret it. He already seemed to be uncertain about where he stood with her in this moment and how much more insecure would he become if she added Lucas into the mix? No, this wasn't the time to bring Lucas up. Shaking her head briskly from side to side, she instead just said, "I just got distracted; lost in thought. That's all. Seriously, I had a really good time with Julia. She isn't half as bad as I remembered her being," she added lightly, her lips curving up, trying to make light of things so he'd let it go.

House didn't look at all reassured but he nodded and Cuddy closed her eyes briefly so as not to roll them before pushing herself up on her tiptoes to press a peck to his lips, hoping that would be enough to reassure him.

Turning then, the teapot just beginning to whistle softly, she stepped around him to turn off the stove, pouring hot water into her mug. "I'm going to take this upstairs with me and go to bed," she said, the smell of chamomile tea already starting to fill the air about them. "It's been a long day, my feet are killing me, and I ate way more than I should have."

House nodded silently, turning to head for the fridge, needing something to do, and Cuddy glanced at him, a soft smile touching her lips as she murmured, "Good night House."

"Night Cuddy," he replied, aiming to mask all the conflicting emotions he was feeling in that moment, burying his head in the fridge so as not to make eye contact with her either.

He listened to her walk away, climbing the stairs a minute later, and then glanced down as Cookie Monster stuck his head in the fridge door as well, sniffing interestedly before looking up at House.

Shaking his head, he reached down and scooped up the puppy before closing the fridge door, heading outside with Cookie Monster a minute later. He sat down on the steps while Cookie Monster roamed about the yard, sniffing everything before deciding where he wanted to go the bathroom.

House looked behind him at the house, noting the lights were on in Cuddy's bathroom window and though it was too high on the wall for him to see her, he could still detect her movement, via small changes in the light spilling out. When the light went out a couple minutes later he released a breath and turned around just as Cookie Monster trotted over to him, placing his head under House's hand to be scratched.

House complied, his thoughts still centering on Cuddy. He fretfully wondered if whatever had come up today in conversation with her sister had left her questioning whether there really was any possibility of him making her happy and… keeping her that way. With Stacy, when he'd known that he'd never be able to make her happy, he'd given her the gentle push she needed to walk right back out the door, sending her back to Mark. But with Cuddy… Well, the situation was much more complicated. He doubted he could make her happy either but… he _couldn't _push her away like he had Stacy. Not anymore. Not with the girls to consider and… So where did that leave them?

House sat there, scratching the dog behind the ears until Cookie Monster collapsed on the grass, wanting his belly rubbed too but now out of reach, and House rolled his eyes before lowering himself down another step so that he could scratch Cookie Monster's belly, his mind busily at work.

In the end though all he could conclude was that he would redouble his efforts to make her happy, in whatever way he _could _at present, because he needed to for all of their sakes, despite the fact that he was already pushing himself into territory he felt uncomfortable in, in order to make her _continue _to feel inclined to stay. His thoughts then switched to his plans for the next day, a slow smile stealing over his lips for the first time since he'd walked into the kitchen to find out how Cuddy's day had gone. He needed to go retrieve that load from the dryer, he reminded himself then, removing his hand from Cookie Monster's belly to get to his feet, the puppy rolling over immediately to follow him up the stairs and into the house.

As he shut the door behind him, House thought of Julia. He didn't know that she had anything against him. Seeing her again had given him no reason to conclude she did, although he knew Richard was a lot less inclined to think well of him and so perhaps it was possible that she had her doubts because of that. But Cuddy… could care less what her dad thought about him and Evelyn was clearly in favor of him and Cuddy being together, even if the definition of "together" varied in how he could conceive of that at present and how the world at large would define people being together.

Maybe if Cuddy and Julia _were _going to become close after all this time, Julia's opinion of him would… matter in Cuddy's eyes. House frowned at that, not liking the idea that he'd perhaps have to watch himself around Julia, on top of Richard, aiming to placate her so that she wouldn't be disposed to take a position _against _him, therein influencing Cuddy via her opinions. And now he was just being stupid he couldn't help but think in annoyance, heading to the laundry room to retrieve the small pile of clothes needing to be folded. But… this _was _Cuddy's family and it wasn't like her sister would be around that much. Could he really not steel himself to be _slightly _more agreeable when around her, just on the off-chance that Cuddy needed him to?

Huffing out a breath as he hit the laundry room light out before carrying an armful of clothes to his room to fold, he dropped them there before heading back out to put Cookie Monster away for the night, hitting off lights and then setting the alarm before walking back towards his bedroom. But he stopped outside Evie's room, pausing there and frowning before he entered to watch her sleep for a moment, making sure Cuddy had switched the baby monitor on for him as well.

If Evie needed him to behave himself a little around Cuddy's sister so that her mommy would be predisposed to hanging in there with him, even when he _couldn't _offer her what he genuinely wished he could, at least not anytime soon, was there really any question of whether or not he'd do his best to do that? Looking at Evie, watching the rise and fall of her chest, her long lashes against her cheeks, sound asleep, House knew the answer. He'd do anything he had to in order to keep Cuddy around. And it wasn't just because he didn't want there to be nights when Evie and Rachel would sleep under another roof, far away from him.

* * *

July 9th, 2011

"What are you going to do today?" Cuddy asked House curiously with a raised eyebrow and a somewhat goofy smile when he came into the kitchen after changing Evie's diaper following breakfast, now dressed in jeans, a plain but quite yummy white t-shirt that conformed to him in a beyond mouth-watering way, and the motorcycle jacket she'd bought him, sunglasses hiding his eyes from her but the whole effect making her belly do flip flops all the same.

"_I_," he drawled out, "made an appointment to get pictures done with the girls this morning. You know, using that gift certificate Chase gave me. I have to use it before it expires."

An eyebrow rising, he then inquired curiously, "You didn't notice my bike wasn't in the garage when you came home last night?"

Cuddy shook her head, surprised that she hadn't but more intent on the fact that he was going to get pictures taken with the girls while she was out with her sister. "You're going to take pictures of you and the girls on your bike?" she asked with a soft smile, loving that he was actually going to use the gifts he'd received for Father's Day exactly as she hoped and had suggested, her eyes wandering over his features with unmistakable affection.

House shrugged, feeling more at ease this morning, having slept better than the previous night as the last thing he'd been thinking about before falling asleep was the day that lay before him and how much Cuddy would undeniably enjoy it.

"For some of them anyway," he acknowledged before explaining, "I drove the bike to the studio and parked it in their lot last night. That was my errand. Wilson came by on his way to Erika's and gave me a ride home. Appointment's at 10. I'm just going to change the girls there."

"What are _they_ going to wear?" she asked, frowning already that she wasn't going to be present when he had the pictures taken, feeling left out by the fact that he'd planned this all out without asking for her help or opinion. Not that he needed to but… Her family was going to have a great morning… without her. Jealousy stealing over her, she realized mostly her objection was that they'd have these great pictures to enjoy for years to come and… she wouldn't be a part of them. But that was _okay. _Obviously this was a daddy and girls thing. And that was _great. _And she had no doubt that there would be _lots _of family pictures in the years to come, with all four of them, especially if she had anything to say about it. But… she wouldn't even have the memory of watching them be taken or helping to ready the girls or… be there to enjoy House and the girls' special moment together, the excitement and fun of it all.

"Jeans and white t-shirts, _obviously_," House said with a droll look, ignoring the emotions crossing her face before he grinned smugly. "_And_ their motorcycle jackets. Just like their cool dad. I even have bandanas for them," he said before dubiously adding, "If Evie will keep hers' on."

"But Rachel doesn't have any white t-shirts," Cuddy countered, ransacking through Rachel's wardrobe in her mind.

"I bought her one," he said with a shrug, surprising her.

"But House, she can't wear it until you've washed it," she immediately pointed out, frowning then.

House huffed at how overprotective she was being and rolling his eyes before he dryly replied, "Relax. I already did."

Cuddy narrowed her eyes at him, staring at him for a moment before she decided he wasn't just trying to slip one by her and nodded.

He gave her a dirty look but then shook it off and huffed, "But if it doesn't fit or she doesn't want to wear it, I grabbed that… white _ruffle-y_ shirt thing she has that you like. We can always use that."

Cuddy bit her lip when he distastefully mentioned Rachel's white ruffle cami top with the ties on the sides at the bottom, her attention hanging more upon the fact that he knew she liked that top than to his attitude in how he'd referred to it. "I do like that top," she murmured, pouting unbeknownst to her.

"I know," he dryly muttered, eyeing her before lifting a hand to pull his sunglasses down somewhat, staring her down from over them, analyzing her.

Cuddy looked away but then glumly asked, "I won't get to see them until they're done and you get the proofs?"

House shook his head before correcting her, "I'll probably order from the proofs while I'm there. You'll see them when the pictures are ready to be picked up in a few weeks."

Cuddy's shoulders fell in disappointment but she nodded slowly.

House's eyebrow rose but he just casually reminded her, "You have plans with your sister."

She shrugged a little then, the corner of her mouth rising just slightly as she gave him a look. "You might need help getting the girls ready. Or fixing their hair," she suggested borderline cajolingly.

A minute passed in silence, Cuddy worrying her lip as she waited for him to speak, her expression nevertheless displaying her hopefulness.

"Tell her you'll meet her at noon instead," House huffed resignedly, shaking his head.

She immediately nodded, her expression brightening as she ran to him, wrapping her arms around his neck before pushing herself up on her tiptoes to press her lips quickly to his in a lip-smacking kiss, releasing him the very next second to turn and dig through her purse for her cell phone.

House smirked then before turning to head upstairs to sneak into her bedroom. She'd made this easier than he'd thought it would be.

* * *

"I'll carry Evie," Cuddy volunteered as she climbed out of her car, having parked it beside House's, who had led the way since he'd already been by and knew where the location was.

House nodded and helped Rachel out of the car, taking her hand before popping the trunk to retrieve a large bag from within.

"What all did you bring?" Cuddy asked skeptically, Evie in her arms, diaper bag on her shoulder, eyeing the bag House had removed from the car as she waited for him.

House shrugged but said, "The girls' things to change into are in the diaper bag, along with snacks and toys to occupy them with in between pictures. This holds my boots, gloves, and helmet."

Cuddy laughed, shaking her head, but then her eyes turned to focus on the building they'd parked in front of, eyeing the variety of shots displayed prominently in the window of fathers with their children in various settings and decked out in various unique ways. "They don't do sittings with mothers?" she inquired as he came alongside her.

"Not here," he answered, shaking his head. "They have another location on the other side of town though where they do, along with family shots."

Cuddy bit her lip, thinking, but didn't say anything as House stepped past her to open the door and go within, Cuddy behind him.

The receptionist greeted him and then went to tell the photographer who House had spoken to yesterday that they were here before she led them into a room where they'd be able to get the girls ready for pictures. Once she was gone, House started digging through the diaper bag as Cuddy reached out to help Rachel change. He threw Rachel's clothes at her, the shirt landing on Cuddy's head, and she turned to look at him while removing it, her eyes narrowed, but he just smirked before digging into the bag he'd brought.

Turning back to Rachel, Cuddy helped her out of the shirt she had on before reaching for the t-shirt House had purchased.

"Put the ruffled one on her first," House interjected before she could pull the t-shirt over Rachel's head. "She can wear the t-shirt later on."

Cuddy glanced at him to make sure he was certain but then smiled, the way House had quickly evaded her eyes telling her that he was opting for the ruffled cami because he knew it would make her happy. Setting the t-shirt aside, she reached for the cami, helping Rachel with it before combing her fingers through Rachel's hair the next second as the little girl pranced about, already in her jeans.

"Me getting pictures with daddy?" Rachel asked, confirming what she'd already been told several times on the way here.

"Yes, you are," Cuddy agreed, nodding before reaching up to touch the tip of Rachel's nose. "Evie too."

"Here," House said then, handing her some more clothes.

For the briefest second she assumed he was giving her Evie's things but that made absolutely no sense just in computing the shape and size of the pile he'd pressed into her hands.

"There's a bathroom right there," he told her before she could process anything at all, nodding his head in the direction of another door she'd previously overlooked.

Cuddy looked at him in confusion and then back at the clothes, just as they unbundled in her arms, her eyes catching on the white undergarments he'd obviously gone into her drawers to retrieve just in case what she had on didn't work with a white t-shirt, and then back at him, her eyes widening as her head came up fully. Moistening her lips, she swallowed before murmuring, "You… These are _my_ clothes."

"Well I should hope so," House dryly commented, interrupting her, his eyes alit with mischief and amusement as he glanced down at the bra and underwear which she hastily shoved back under her shirt. "They're not _mine_. They aren't even in my size."

Cuddy's mouth moved as she tried to gather her thoughts but he didn't give her time to speak. "Hurry up," he ordered. "The photographer will probably be ready for us soon and I can handle getting Evie ready on my own."

"But you said they…" she began.

"They don't as a general rule but you and I both know that money talks. Now get going," he bossed her, not having needed her to fully form her question to answer it.

Cuddy still hesitated though. "But House, this was to be your special thing with the girls," she argued, not wanting to detract from this being a daddy and girls thing.

"So? It still will be," he replied pointedly, reaching out to snag Evie's leg as she once more attempted to crawl away from him, dragging her carefully back in. "He only agreed to bend policy enough to do a couple shots with the four of us. It's not like he's never broken the rules before. But if you want shots alone with the girls, you'll have to make an appointment at the other location. Besides," he added, smirking again. "I'm paying him for these. I'm going to use Chase's gift certificate today too but you don't get to be here for _those_ pictures."

Cuddy's eyebrow quirked at that statement, wondering dubiously what he was up to if he didn't want her present for that portion, but House motioned her to go, muttering, "Scram," and so she did as she'd been told, excitement stirring within her.

When she came back out House was in the doorway talking to the photographer, Rachel at his side and Evie looking adorable in his arms in her little white beret and a white shirt that matched Rachel's exactly.

Cuddy adjusted the hem of her shirt self-consciously as House looked her over, a slow smile unfurling on his lips. "Ready?" he asked her as the photographer walked away, finally meeting her eyes.

Cuddy nodded, sucking in a breath of air, not knowing she'd been holding it and still surprised by the fact that House had obviously gone out and bought Evie a shirt to match Rachel's, having planned this whole thing in its entirety, right down to the detail.

"Mommy!" Rachel exclaimed then, spotting her. "You like my tattoo?"

Cuddy's eyes widened and she shook her head in bewilderment, just as Rachel ran to her and turned so her mommy could see the temporary tattoo that House had apparently wasted no time in applying while she'd been in the bathroom getting ready. She huffed out a breath, rolling her eyes before shooting him a look, but he just raised an eyebrow at her, grinning smugly.

"It's a heart. It say 'bad girl' on it," Rachel informed her needlessly, her eyes wide as her head bobbed up and down.

"It's… very nice," she settled on saying, trying to focus on Rachel and finding her seemingly content with Cuddy's answer as she nodded again.

"Daddy said I be a bad girl today. I tolded him I's a good girl but he tolded me bad girls get to have cookies. They's don't even have to wait 'til after lunch if they's don't want to. So me be a bad girl today, mommy," Rachel informed her earnestly.

"House," Cuddy gasped exasperatedly, her eyes flashing up to look at him, her mouth gaping open.

"You should see Evie's tat," he said easily, distracting her and wagging his eyebrows to further intrigue her.

She groaned, covering her face with one hand, but then bit her lip while making her way over to him to see Evie's chubby upper arm when he turned her about so that Cuddy could see.

"Rachel had first choice. She liked the other one better," he explained before dryly adding, "I think it had more to do with the mention of cookies though."

Cuddy couldn't help but smile, even as she tucked her head down to try and hide it, helpless however to not look up at him from under her lashes as her hand came up to stroke Evie's baby soft skin about her tattoo, also a heart but one that said "My Heart Belongs to Dad," in itty bitty letters around it.

"Can you take her?" House asked and she'd barely settled Evie in her arms when she felt him touch _her_ upper arm, his hand falling a second later only to be replaced by a wet washcloth that his other hand clamped firmly down on her skin.

"_House_," she exclaimed disbelievingly, squirming in objection.

But he had a firm hold on her arm and laughed before admonishing her struggling by saying, "Hold still or you'll distort it and _then _what will we do?"

"Umm, let me think… _Remove it_," she retorted, glaring up at him though she stopped trying to pull away.

"You'd have to rub at it really hard. Your arm would be all red afterwards. Do you really want pictures taken with you looking like you've got some mutant rash?" he pointedly remarked.

Cuddy's mouth fell open to respond but he carefully removed the washcloth then before peeling off the slip of paper and her mouth closed as her eyes dropped from his, not missing how he admired his handiwork before her own eyes took in the much larger heart he'd placed on her own arm, clearly custom-made because she seriously doubted they randomly made tattoos with "House" included on them.

"I've branded you," House quipped proudly, looking from her face to his name now upon her skin, contained within a decent sized heart.

Cuddy huffed but immediately retorted, "_Thankfully, _I'll be changing back into my clothes after this and no one will see it."

House pouted as if wounded and she sighed before her eyes fell back to the tattoo on her arm, not really… objecting, although she knew she should. "They say home is where the heart is," she murmured then before looking back up at him, a smile playing on her lips.

"Home, not 'House,'" he dryly replied, his pout having been replaced by a frown, his eyes narrowed at her. "Don't get all mushy on me now and think this means something."

"_You _put it there," she reminded him, not knowing what it the world _he _was objecting to. She was the one with his name temporarily tattooed on her arm.

House snorted but then smirked and said, "That's _your _version of what happened."

Cuddy shook her hair back and out of her face to look up at him drolly. "No one's going to see it, House," she reinforced.

"In the pictures they will," he corrected gleefully.

Cuddy laughed disbelievingly before stating, "I doubt it. They'll just recognize it as being a heart. But even seeing it, no one will believe I _willfully _opted to wear a temporary tattoo with your name on it. Get real. Everyone will immediately conclude that you were… How did you word it? _Right_, _branding me as yours,_" she finished scathingly.

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," he countered, but she could see she was irritating him.

"What do you think people will conclude when they find out _you _tattooed your name on me as if I was a piece of cattle to brand, hmm?" she inquired, smiling determinedly at him, enjoying the chance to irk him.

"It means nothing," he restated, shaking his head.

"_Really?_" she argued pointedly, an eyebrow raising, objecting to his dismissing this as nothing. "You _intentionally _branding me as yours doesn't mean _anything?_ Seems awful possessive to me, House. Is that what you want? The world at large to know I belong to you? For that matter, what's _your_ tattoo say? _My_ name by any chance?"

House glared at her, scrunching his nose indignantly. "_No_," he quickly refuted, even the idea of having a heart tattooed on him an annoying thought. "It states the truth; that 'chicks dig me.'"

Cuddy's eyes widened before her lips pressed firmly together. She shook her head and then bit out from between clenched teeth, clearly aggravated, "It better not."

Huffing out a breath, she hissed sternly, "House, you _can't _get pictures taken with… _Seriously_. House, just what kind of message will these pictures send to our girls for years to come? Honestly! Grow up!"

He watched her stoically but then the corner of his mouth went up and her eyes shut for a second as she realized he was pressing her buttons on purpose, now smug in how he'd reversed things. Exhaling again, she tossed her hair back before stepping away from him to see his arm for herself, not about to ask him again in case he just goaded her further with his next suggestion of just what his tattoo might say.

"Cute," she dryly mumbled, rolling her eyes at the skeleton riding a motorcycle on his bicep. It could have been worse, she thought to herself, only too aware of how true that was. As it was, it wasn't… half bad, though she was certainly glad it wasn't real and that House had never shown any real propensity for tattoos. "I assume you're going with the whole cheating death theme," she said after a minute. "And since the subject has come up, I'd like to make it clear that I'd appreciate it if you _stopped _cheating death from here on out."

"You want me to die?" he asked snidely, raising an eyebrow at her statement.

"_No_, that's _not _what I meant," she contradicted, put out with him and yet failing to respond without also conveying just how much he did mean to her. "I meant that I'd _appreciate it_ if you no longer got yourself in _situations _where I have to worryI'm going to lose you."

He smiled at that statement and she absently reached out to stroke his bicep as she stared up at him, genuinely hoping his "scares" were all behind them now, her eyes softening further as she looked into his.

The photographer cleared his throat just then and they both turned to see he was back, Cuddy's hand upon House's arm pausing mid-stroke but not dropping to her side just yet.

"I'm ready when you guys are," the photographer said when he had their attention.

House nodded and Cuddy reluctantly dropped her hand before following House with Evie, Rachel at House's side.

The photographer led the way out of the building and to where he had already staged everything as House wanted for the shots. House detoured but indicated for Cuddy to go on ahead with the photographer, instructing Rachel to stay with mommy when she tried to follow him, before he disappeared around the corner with the key to his motorcycle in hand, riding it to them a minute later, Rachel jumping excitedly up and down when he parked right near them where the photographer indicated for him to, Rachel clapping for him enthusiastically, clearly fascinated with his bike which she'd only ever seen parked in the garage.

House made a wry face at Rachel's antics as he climbed off it but then he caught Cuddy's eyes on him and his expression changed into surprise as her eyes crawled over him, from his boots on up to his face, his helmet not being on to block his features from her, desire stirring in her eyes when she finally met his and moistened her lips with the tip of her tongue. After last night's brief conversation, he couldn't deny it felt great to know she wanted him like this.

Cuddy swallowed hard and blinked, causing House to laugh at her a second later, but she quickly looked away to try and clear her mind before focusing instead on the photographer's instructions as he posed them as he wanted them.

It didn't help when he had House climb back on the motorcycle and then had her sit behind him, tightly up against his back, her arms around his waist. She was sure that House could feel her heart beating madly against him but she instead tried to focus on Rachel, who was helped up behind her, her little arms wrapping around Cuddy's neck while Evie was placed in House's arms. The photographer took a number of shots from all angles, having them adjust their heads from time to time to better line them up, moving a limb here and there, and Cuddy couldn't help but impulsively press a kiss to House's jaw right below his ear when his face was positioned in her proximity.

He snorted at her display of affection but the photographer snapped one last shot before setting his camera down to go over what he wanted to do next and then reached out to help Rachel down before Cuddy climbed off, taking Evie from House momentarily so Rachel could be placed on the bike before him, Evie then carefully settled before her, House's arms surrounding both girls to keep them firmly on the bike.

The photographer took shots of the three of them on the bike, then beside it, and then without the bike, Rachel holding House's helmet in a couple shots, Evie sitting on it or inside it, just barely fitting while in front of her daddy and big sister in others, and then a slew of daddy/daughter shots were taken as well, in their t-shirts, in their motorcycle jackets, with serious expressions or funny faces, the girls giggling or trying to get away. Cuddy watched from the sidelines, helping however she could when called upon, but mainly just enjoying being there, watching her little family, her heart swelling with emotion.

House then asked the photographer to get some shots of their tattoos and Cuddy rolled her eyes when House told her to get her butt over there but she willingly posed with him and the girls anyway, laughing when House asked for a shot of their biceps, Rachel screwing up her face in concentration as House had her form a fist, telling her to show her guns. She glared at him though when he grabbed her bicep and skeptically asked, "Is that the best you got, Cuddy?"

She chose not to respond, proudly inspected her own bicep and giving him a pointed look, evoking a chuckle in the process.

The photographer took a few more shots, several of them allowing Cuddy to be in close proximity with House, her back to his chest, and she had to really focus to not lose herself in the smell of his cologne and the feel of him behind her.

"Wait!" House declared all of a sudden, his eyes widening. And then Cuddy watched as he quickly walked away, coming back a couple minutes later with something folded in his arms.

He held it out for her, his eyes locked on hers, gauging her expression, and she reached for it even as her brow gathered in confusion. But rather than give it to her, he instructed, "Put your arm out," and she slowly obeyed just as he unfolded it, revealing a leather jacket much like his and the girls but definitely made for a woman. For… _her_.

She stopped breathing as he helped her put it on, Rachel and Evie sitting before them on a blanket with several of their toys on it which House had brought for between shots, playing contentedly.

Cuddy had to make several attempts to get her throat to work while House walked about her, adjusting the jacket, straightening it, testing the sleeve length, and then zipping it partway to make sure it fit her well, smiling smugly when it fit _perfectly_ before he reached up to pull her hair free, only then finally meeting her eyes.

"You… bought me my own?" she asked in a whisper, her eyes moving over his face, still trying to take it in.

"Obviously," he dryly quipped, quirking an eyebrow. But then he shrugged and quietly added, "You're one of us. You couldn't be the only one without a leather jacket."

Cuddy reached for him instantly, her hands grabbing his face as she pressed her mouth to his in a searing kiss that communicated much more than just her gratitude, and House wrapped his arms around her without having to think to do so, his eyes closing as he let himself to kissed.

Rocking back onto her heels, breathless, Cuddy released his face in order to wrap her arms around him, burying her face into his chest, breathing in the mixture of him and his leather jacket. "Thank you," she murmured against him, pressing a kiss to his chest now. "I love it."

"You haven't even really checked it out yet," he countered wryly.

She laughed against him but leaned back to look up at him before shaking her head, biting her lip before she released him slowly to look down and admire the jacket as much as she could, her hands running over the soft leather. "It's perfect," she murmured, looking up to meet his gaze again, smiling sweetly.

"You look perfect in it," he mumbled, meeting her eyes but reaching out to tuck a curl behind her ear, thankful that she hadn't thought to straighten it again today.

Cuddy's eyes softened further, staring up at him, but the photographer interrupted just then and she had no choice but to lose the moment she'd been given with House.

"Want me to take a few more shots?" the photographer offered, actually having taken a few while they were distracted, unbeknownst to them, not one to miss a golden opportunity when it presented itself, with or without kids in the picture.

House looked up at him, surprised by the offer, figuring he'd already used up the man's generosity in breaking rules and had remembered the jacket too late, but quickly jerked his head in agreement.

The photographer took several more shots before he set his camera aside, turning to House to tell him he'd be ready to head out in ten minutes.

Cuddy's eyes widened as she looked questioningly at House.

"Time for you to hit the road," he informed her with a smirk, not about to tell her anything.

"You're switching locations?" she asked all the same, confused and yet that being the only logical explanation she could come up with.

House grunted but then dryly mumbled, "Cuddy, you're not getting any information from me. Now beat it. Or you'll be late to meet your sister."

Cuddy pouted but nodded resignedly when House raised an eyebrow at her expression. "I've got to go change," she reminded him before biting her lip and only then asking softly, "Walk me to my car afterwards?"

House rolled his eyes but said, "I've got to take the girls things to the car anyway," before turning to gather up their stuff as she turned to run inside to change, having glanced at her watch and realizing she actually was already cutting it close.

She stepped back outside with her things five minutes later and House smiled wryly to see she had put the jacket back on, never mind that the temperature outside was now climbing steadily and the jacket would be beyond uncomfortable before too long.

"Chicks do dig me," he said out of nowhere as they walked towards the cars together, Cuddy carrying Evie in her arms while House carted about all their belongings, Rachel holding Cuddy's free hand between them.

Cuddy laughed at him before raising an eyebrow and scathingly inquiring, "Yeah? Name a few."

He turned his head to give her a defiant look, clearly not appreciating that she questioned the truth of his statement, but had only gotten as far as listing, "_You, _your mother, the girls at the daycare…," when Cuddy's scoff at his actually naming her mother mutated into a strangled noise in her throat.

He came to a stop, eyeing her, but her eyes narrowed just as she shook her head and demanded, "Sandy is _still _flirting with you?"

House was caught off-guard by her sudden flash of temper and he didn't immediately respond, just staring at her.

"She is, isn't she?" Cuddy gritted out between her teeth.

And then House couldn't help but goofily smile his amusement. "Jealous much?" he inquired smugly.

"You're flirting with her, aren't you?" she huffed disbelievingly. "You're _still _flirting with her."

"You're acting like you own me," he dryly replied then, eyeing her pointedly, working hard to suppress a smile.

"I do…" she began argumentatively before her words died off, realizing how possessive she was actually admitting to being.

"You have a real problem with double standards," House told her evenly though, distracting her immediately from her admission and looking at her drolly.

"_What?_" Cuddy gasped, her tone quite defensive, even to her own ears, knowing that she'd just messed up in her past response to him but still hoping to recover from her blunder.

He tilted his head down and to the side, studying her before seriously stating, "You do. Last time I checked your name wasn't tattooed on my…" He cut himself off, his lips pressing together as he glanced down to meet Rachel's eyes as she stared up at them inquisitively, before he looked back to Cuddy, rolling his eyes before he continued, "But you're acting like you've branded _me. _And yet I seem to remember when the situation was reversed and I was the one with jealousy issues, you were quick to point out that I had no claim on you and that you didn't belong to me."

Cuddy's jaw dropped, her expression turning sorrowful, but that really hadn't been House's intent and so he was quick to add with a lopsided grin, "How come when guys are jealous, they're losers but when women are, it's hot?"

She frowned, first because she was all the more upset in his implication that she'd thought he was a loser for being jealous of Lucas, but then his expression registered, his eyes laughing at her, and she processed the last part of what he'd said, sucking in a breath as the tears that had been so close to the surface were forgotten, her lips slowly curving upwards into a small smile. "Yeah, because I'm sure my being jealous registers in your brain as '_hot,'_" she replied, irony tracing her tone.

He shrugged, his mouth quirking a little, but then glanced down at her mouth before meeting her eyes again and quietly saying, "It makes you pretty darn kissable anyway."

Cuddy's breath caught in her throat, her eyes falling to his lips before she moistened her own with her tongue. The corner of House's mouth rose slightly, wondering if she even knew she was swaying slightly before him, probably resisting the urge to be the one to make the first move, but he didn't bother asking, his head descending to press his lips to hers, straightening and stepping back before the hand that had previously been holding Rachel's hand could wrap itself around his neck, holding him to her.

He snorted his amusement at the disappointment clearly etched on her face.

"What kind of kiss was that?" she whined, already pouting as her eyes returned to his.

"A chaste one," he informed her. "We're in public. With the girls present."

Cuddy frowned, expelling her breath, not caring about either reason he'd offered her, but she reach for Rachel's hand again when House started walking once more, not giving her any choice but to follow him.

He popped the trunk of his car and threw his things within before tossing the diaper bag in as well.

Turning to her after closing the trunk, baby oil, rubbing alcohol, and a cotton ball suddenly in hand, he offered, "Want me to remove that tattoo for you?"

Cuddy narrowed her eyes at him, recalling how he'd suggested removing her temporary tattoo would leave her skin red when all this time he'd had the supplies on hand to take it off the easy way. But her expression cleared, realizing that while she'd never admit this out loud, she wasn't… quite ready to get rid of it, wanting to hang on to the reminder of him… staking his claim on her a bit longer.

"I'll do it later," she said dismissively. "I've really got to go. I'm already late."

And House looked at his watch rather suspiciously but realized she was right. "Suit yourself," he said with a shrug before opening his front passenger seat door to place the supplies there. "Can you just give me a minute to re-park my motorcycle up front?"

"Yes, but how are you going to get it home?" she couldn't help asking now.

"Eh, I'll figure it out later," he replied as he walked away.

Once he was back beside her, the motorcycle parked not far away, House reached out, taking Evie from her.

Cuddy gave both of the girls kisses, then hesitated only a moment before gently pushing House back up against his car, using the car itself to give her leverage, bracing herself as she pushed herself up, pressing her mouth to his, smiling against his lips when he kissed her right back, his eyes shutting and free hand finding her waist to steady her against him.

Breaking the kiss with clear reluctance, she lowered herself back down before her hand left the car to stroke what was exposed of his t-shirt clad chest in the space directly above where the zipper of his motorcycle jacket came up halfway. "Julia and I will be back at the house around three. I'll see you then?" she inquired softly, her eyes focused on his.

He just nodded without comment.

"'Kay," she murmured, nodding before giving his chest one final stroke, only then stepping away from him to climb in her car.

House watched her pull out of the parking lot before helping Rachel into his car seat, then buckling Evie into hers. He shut their doors once the two of them were buckled in before going around the car to climb in himself, turning the engine on.

House only had to wait a couple more minutes before the photographer came back out, camera in hand, and indicated the van he'd be driving which was already equipped with the lighting supplies he'd need for their next shoot, House waiting for him to climb into the van before he pulled out and led the way to Riverside East, an insuppressible grin on his face as he thought of just how successful he'd proven in his latest attempt to bring Cuddy happiness, making himself happier than he'd expected while doing so.

* * *

House didn't actually end up pulling into the driveway at home until 3:30 p.m., both girls sound asleep in the backseat, Evie having napped only as long as it took them to get to RE and more than ready for a real rest, Rachel also worn out and quickly joining her. He'd taken them to the cafeteria for lunch while the photographer got set up, changing their attire once more when they rejoined him in the OR, the photographer shaking his head semi-disbelievingly as House brought out Halloween makeup, Dr. Cooper, who had reluctantly agreed to this strange proposal, making an appearance to watch the first shots be taken before he too shook his head and walked out, albeit chuckling in amusement at his overly imaginative employee. House himself had been quite pleased, knowing that Cuddy would never have approved of this idea, at least not out loud, had she known what his intentions were.

Now House shut the engine off before opening his door to climb out, opting to carry Evie inside first, as that would take less time and mean his other kid was left alone for a shorter period of time. Cuddy met him at the door though, quietly taking Evie from him and freeing him to retrieve Rachel, who woke only long enough to look around blearily before her head dropped back onto his shoulder, her legs dangling but arms entwined about his neck, sound asleep once again.

He rolled his eyes when Julia glanced up at him smiling tenderly at the sight he presented as he passed her where she sat in the breakfast nook. By the time he reached the stairs Cuddy slipped out of Evie's room, pulling the door soundlessly shut behind her before she smiled at him and then followed him upstairs as he brought Rachel to her own bed, figuring she'd probably sleep another thirty minutes, at least.

Cuddy placed a blanket over Rachel when House carefully settled her on the bed, then reaching to tenderly stroke Rachel's hair back while House headed for the doorway.

Pushing herself off the bed though, she followed him quickly, shutting the door partway before following him down the stairs, only pausing long enough to shut the gate.

"Which pictures did you pick?" she demanded to know as soon as they got to the bottom of the stairs.

He turned to shoot her an amused look but dug in his pocket, presenting her with a business card that had a number carefully written on the back of it, and dryly said, "It turns out the proofs are available online, in case you want to add to my order."

She snatched it from his hand, her eagerness apparent, and House rolled his eyes as she turned right back around, taking the steps two at a time to retrieve her laptop from her room while he shook his head before heading into his room to use the bathroom, this being his first real moment alone without two little girls, all day.

By the time he resignedly left the peaceful isolation offered to him via his bedroom, venturing out to greet Julia as he had not yet done but felt obligated to do, Cuddy and Julia were hovering about the screen on her laptop, debating back and forth the merits of each picture. He stopped in his tracks, watching them for a moment from the entrance into the kitchen from the dining area and puzzled over their relationship, his confusion obvious that they really did seem to be getting along as well as they were, although they were too engrossed in the photos on the screen to notice he was even out and about.

House shook off his expression before continuing on, planning to get himself a Coke, and Julia turned to look up at him then, offering him a smile of greeting. "Your home is beautiful," she said then before hesitating and finally admitting honestly, "Though it's nothing like I expected."

He opened the refrigerator door, removing a pop before turning to shoot her a look, an eyebrow raised. "What were you expecting?" he settled on asking, shutting the refrigerator door behind him. "Me to be living in a trailer park somewhere?" he added dryly.

"He's as charming as ever," Julia mumbled to her sister, shaking her head wryly before refocusing on him, Cuddy laughing breathily, glancing his way before her eyes returned to the computer screen.

"A bachelor pad, I guess," Julia replied then. "One big man cave. I don't know. I wasn't trying to judge you. I just… didn't expect _this. _It really is a beautiful home."

House snorted but popped the tab on his Coke before bringing it to his lips to guzzle it. He didn't thank her for what he thought was a mixed compliment at best anyhow, but remembering his determination to at least make an effort, he did finally ask, "Want something to drink?"

"There's iced tea in the fridge," Cuddy interjected then, glancing at her sister briefly.

Julia nodded, accepting his offer and he headed for the cabinet to grab a glass before pausing to ask Cuddy if she'd like something to drink as well.

She turned her head his way, her mouth pursing at his offer, but shook her head before saying, "Thank you but I'm good."

"Ice?" House asked next, his gaze redirected to her sister, and Cuddy's forehead wrinkled, genuinely surprised at his apparent disposition to be hospitable, before she bit her lip to try to hide her smile.

Turning back to the screen, her sister following suit after answering House's question in the affirmative, Cuddy clicked the arrow to view the next page of pictures and her eyes widened upon spotting a picture she hadn't even known the photographer had taken, followed by another one she also loved but hadn't known about.

"Looks like things are going just fine to me," Julia said under her breath so that House wouldn't overhear and Cuddy glanced back at him, quickly turning back to the screen and hitting the back arrow to go back to the page before so that House wouldn't catch sight of the picture that had immediately caught _their _attention. He had to know the photographer had taken it, at least, now having already seen the shots and made his selections, but there was a question weighing on her mind and… she wanted to ask it without raising his suspicions too much.

Julia looked at her sister, throwing her a curious gaze, but Cuddy shook her head briefly before moistening her lips and asking House without turning to look at him, "How do I know which pictures you've ordered so that I can add what I'd like copies of?"

"Just write down which ones you want," he replied dismissively with a shrug, walking over to hand Julia her iced tea, receiving a thank you in response. "I'll just add them when you've finished choosing."

Cuddy bit her lip, his answer not being a helpful one to tell her what she wanted to know. Frowning, she reluctantly looked up at him once she could control her expression again and said, "But I want to know which ones you decided on. I want to know what your favorites are."

House glanced at the screen only to find there was nothing there to raise his suspicions. All the same he narrowed his eyes before meeting her gaze skeptically, dryly informing her a second later, "The orders are completely separate. I can show you my order from this session but you _won't _get access to the other session simply by my showing you how to check my order on this one."

Cuddy hadn't even gotten far enough in viewing pictures to have checked to find out one way or another whether she'd be able to sneak a peek at his shots from the other session, though in thinking about it, she knew better than to have suspected he'd have slipped up and left them together if he really wanted it kept a secret. But that didn't change the dirty look she shot him upon hearing that.

House just smirked, an eyebrow quirking dramatically, and she rolled her eyes before sighing and saying resignedly, "Fine. But I would still like to see your order from our session."

House shrugged and leaned over her then to point to the menu bar she'd need to first access in order for him to enter his username and password. She clicked it and then leaned her head slightly against his bicep as if to get out of his way, despite it really being more about the contact, while he typed on the keyboard, dropping his hands and stepping back when his name popped up with miniatures of the shots he'd ordered. He looked at the screen and then pointed to several pictures, one by one clarifying who he'd ordered copies for so that she wouldn't mark down the same picture if he'd already ordered it for her parents. He also pointed out the ones he was thinking of hanging in the hallway.

Cuddy had only just scrolled down to reveal the next page of shots he was ordering when she spotted what she was looking for, pointed it out, and asked very sweetly, "And where are you going to hang _this one?_"

House fell silent and then his lips pressed together, realizing what her agenda had really been about. He couldn't believe he'd fallen for it. Releasing a puff of air through his nose, he dropped his eyes to meet her amused ones and immediately denied, "I didn't order that. The idiot must have added it by mistake."

"Uh-huh," she replied easily, a teasing glint in her eyes as she met his.

House sneered and then turned around, Cuddy reaching to catch his hand, not so as to hold on but simply so as to have his fingers slip through hers as he moved away, the contact brief but there.

"Liar," she called after him then, laughing as he retreated.

"Deceiver," he threw back at lightning speed.

"Profligate," Cuddy pronounced, only too ready for this game of theirs.

"Charlatan," House accused, drawing an eye roll from Cuddy.

"Prevaricator," she spit out all the same.

"Miscreant," he went with.

"Reprobate," she volleyed.

"Pettifogger," he returned.

And Cuddy was about to insult him again but then realized she had no idea what he'd just called her.

House popped his head back around the corner to look at her with a self-satisfied grin. "You don't even know what that is, do you?" he demanded then, knowing she didn't.

And Cuddy opened her mouth to deny that she was clueless but there was really no point. She wouldn't be able to give him a solid definition. He had her there.

Apparently only too aware of that fact, House smugly declared, "I win," his head disappearing from view the next second.

Cuddy pouted, her eyes narrowing, hating when he got the last word which was something she'd always made a point of doing her best not to give him, before she turned to look at Julia who was shaking her head at their antics. "Do _you_ know what a pettifogger is?" Cuddy asked her hopefully.

"Um… another synonym for deceiver," Julia suggested before shaking her head and replying honestly, "Not a clue. But you can look it up."

Expelling her breath, Cuddy opened another tab, determined to do just that. "_To bicker or quibble over trifles or unimportant matters_," she read a moment later. "_To carry on a petty, shifty, or unethical law business. To practice chicanery of any sort._"

Cuddy closed the page but yelled out, "House, _you're _the pettifogger. Definition fits you to a T."

"I can't hear you," he sing-songed gleefully.

Cuddy pursed her lips, shaking her head, muttering, "Liar," once more under her breath, but she refocused on the pictures he'd chosen at that moment, a smile curving up her lips as she clicked on the shot of her kissing House, making it larger.

"Are you two always like this?" Julia asked wryly, shooting her sister a curious glance. "Insulting each other for fun? Verbal sparring being your choice of foreplay?"

Cuddy laughed softly but then thought about it contemplatively, hitting the back arrow to peruse his final selections before she returned to the album to view the rest of the shots the photographer had taken, feeling self-conscious about staring at the picture of them kissing with her sister right there watching her. "More or less," she settled on admitting. "It was much more common happenstance when he was working at PPTH. Now… it's something we're slowly falling back into."

Julia nodded and then pointed to the screen, changing the subject to say, "I think this one is my favorite of the four of you."

Cuddy focused her attention on the picture Julia had indicated. House was kneeling carefully so as not to agitate his thigh, though no one who didn't know him would detect that from the photo, his left hand on Evie's arm, who sat before him; Rachel standing to his side, her arm wrapped around his, hand on the inside of his bicep, leaning into him, an extremely cute little smile lighting up her face; Evie on the ground to the right of Rachel, looking up into the camera, a toothy grin on her face and a wayward curl having fallen on her forehead; and Cuddy behind the three of them, her left forearm curving around House's shoulder and hand in the center of his chest, fingers just barely out of sight within his jacket, her face just above his shoulder as she leaned into him for the picture, her other arm wrapped around Rachel, fingers barely visible on Rachel's waist.

Cuddy sighed and nodded. "I love it too," she agreed.

"So… what do you think they did for their other session?" Julia queried curiously then, her sister having explained as much as she could what House and the girls were up to when she'd recounted why she'd been late.

"I have no idea," Cuddy wryly stated before adding more confidently, "But I know someone who does."

Julia raised her eyebrow in an unspoken question just as Rachel's voice was heard from upstairs.

"Mommy! Daddy! Come get me!"

"I've got her," House called out in the next second.

"Rachel," Julia answered her own question, figuring it out on her own.

"Rachel," Cuddy repeated with a nod.

* * *

It wasn't until House slipped out of the room to go get Evie that Cuddy had a shot at asking Rachel what had happened that day. She really hoped Evie would need a diaper change or something so that she'd have time to work on Rachel before he reappeared.

Turning to her daughter, she reached for her and then lifted her into her lap when Rachel came to her without preamble, despite having been quite occupied playing with Cookie Monster a second before, having finished her snack only minutes before that.

"Rachel," she quietly cajoled in a voice practically dripping with honey, "What did you do with daddy once mommy left?"

Rachel looked up at her mommy, instantly remembering that daddy had carefully instructed her not to tell mommy about what they'd done today before he brought her downstairs following her nap. A pointer finger creeping up and into her mouth, she smiled brightly at her mommy but then seriously said, "Daddy tell me not ta tell."

Cuddy instantly grimaced, unable to believe that House had worked so effectively upon her so as to have Rachel remember she wasn't to say anything. Not about to give up though, she coaxed, "I don't think daddy will _really _care if you tell me."

Julia gasped, smacking her older sister and two pairs of eyes swung to her in astonishment. "_Lisa_," she rebuked. "If her daddy told her not to tell, you should respect that. Otherwise when you don't want her to tell _him _things, you'll have already set her a bad example."

"Oh come on," Cuddy dryly retorted, shaking her head. "It's not _that _big a deal."

But when Cuddy looked back at Rachel after Julia sighed in resignation, it was only to have her oldest daughter remove her finger from her mouth before yelling, "Daddy! Mommy wanna…"

Cuddy instantly clamped her hand over Rachel's mouth before she could say any more. "No, Rachel," she whispered quickly. "It's okay. Forget mommy asked. You don't have to tell mommy anything. But don't tell daddy that mommy was…"

"What's mommy doing?" House inquired dryly as he entered the room with Evie in tow, Julia biting her lip to try and contain her smile and Cuddy closing her eyes in resignation, knowing she had been caught, her head falling forward.

House looked from Rachel to Cuddy to Julia and then back to Rachel, an eyebrow raised. "Is your mommy trying to get you to tell her where we went today?" House knowingly inquired.

Rachel nodded in the affirmative only seconds before saying, "She wanna know 'bout us bein' at the hopspidal."

House groaned, his eyes shutting in disbelief while Rachel looked at him innocently and Julia laughed. "_Rachel,_" House rebuked at the same time Cuddy asked, wide-eyed, "You were at the hospital?"

House narrowed his eyes at Cuddy before focusing on Rachel, frowning. "Kid, daddy told you not to say anything," he wryly reminded her.

"Me not tell mommy nothin'," Rachel reassured, shaking her head enthusiastically from side to side. "Me not tell her…"

House quickly walked over, his hand clamping down on Rachel's mouth so that whatever she said next was muffled and indecipherable. He waited until Rachel stopped talking, Cuddy trying not to laugh, before he met Rachel's eyes with a serious gaze and somberly said, "Don't say anything more."

House waited until she nodded, her eyes still huge, before he dropped his hand from her mouth. But he'd only just removed his hand when she spoke up, if only to say, "Me not gonna tell mommy nothin'. Me daddy's good girl again."

"House," Cuddy admonished, her eyes shooting up to meet his. "You're going to give Rachel a complex, teaching her to be a bad girl one minute and a good girl the next."

House scoffed, rolling his eyes before he adjusted Evie in his arms, turning to go make her a bottle. "Please tell me you aren't suggesting the kid will have split personalities because of a temporary tattoo. I know it's been a long time since you've practiced medicine but if you don't understand the nature of multiple personalities, you shouldn't claim to be a doctor at all."

Cuddy huffed out a breath, indignant, before she exclaimed assertively, "I was _not _talking about multiple personalities! I was just…"

"Well that's a relief," House interrupted haughtily, glancing back over his shoulder at her as he added water to Evie's bottle, shaking it a second later.

Cuddy saw the amusement in his eyes and harrumphed, her eyes narrowing further as she watched him finish preparing the bottle before heating it, not saying anything further so as to deny him the pleasure of making fun of her.

House approached her once the bottle was done though, plopping Evie in her arms before handing her the bottle as well, then dryly stating, "You'll see the pictures soon enough. So stop being so nosy."

Cuddy stuck her tongue out at him rudely and House quirked an eyebrow before nodding at Rachel, mumbling, "And what are _you _teaching her?"

Cuddy glanced at Rachel when House's eyes left hers to swing that way, finding Rachel was indeed watching her intently. She cringed even as House said somberly, "Rachel, tell mommy that we don't stick our tongues out at people. Tell mommy that's not nice and she needs to apologize to daddy."

Cuddy's chin dropped, her eyes swinging to meet his before she incredulously declared, "_House!_"

But he nodded to Rachel again, a smirk already forming on his lips, and Cuddy grimaced before she did note Rachel's eyes upon her, watching and almost assuredly waiting for her mommy to apologize. Sucking in a breath, she resolved herself to apologizing, just as House prompted with, "Say it like you mean it."

Cuddy's lips firmed against one another but then she forced herself to say, "I'm sorry I stuck my tongue out at you. That was not… very nice," she concluded hesitantly, annoyed that she'd gotten herself in a position of having to apologize to him so soon after he'd had to apologize to her, albeit, her apology being more necessary on the whole than his had been.

"See? Now was that so hard to say?" House asked condescendingly before adding in an even more degrading tone used by little old ladies and meant for small animals or babies, "What a good mommy you are!"

It took a lot of self-restraint to let it go, knowing Rachel was still paying attention and not wanting to teach her bad habits through retorting, but Cuddy was somehow successful, her eyes dropping to the baby in her arms so as to ignore anything more House had to say or any pointed looks he would give her to further incite her ire.

House chuckled but then he let it go, turning to walk to the fridge. "What does everyone want for dinner?" he asked after perusing a minute, cutting Rachel off before she could answer him excitedly to dryly say, "_Besides_ cookies."

Rachel pouted, her daddy having stolen her thunder _and _negated her request, but Cuddy looked up to meet House's eyes before suggesting, "I've got vegetarian lasagna in the freezer. Or we could always grill if you'd prefer."

House directed his gaze to Julia but she said, "Don't look at me. I'm fine with just about anything."

"Well, _someone's _got to make a decision," House dryly replied, looking from Julia to Cuddy.

"Macaroni and cheese!" Rachel shouted happily.

"Someone _other _than you," House was quick to state, an eyebrow rising at her enthusiasm.

Cuddy laughed, shaking her head before suggesting, "How about we grill today and tomorrow night we can have lasagna? That way the lasagna will have time to defrost and we won't have to wait as long. And while you get the grill ready, I can slice vegetables and prepare kebobs with the meat we already have in the fridge and the shrimp in the freezer."

"Works for me," House said with a shrug, turning to head for the garage to grab the new bag of charcoal which he'd be in need of shortly.

"Pass that baby here," Julia announced then, reaching for Evie.

Cuddy smiled and got to her feet before turning Evie over to Julia, watching as her sister adjusted the baby in her arms before returning the bottle to Evie's questing mouth, her hand coming up to smooth the baby's hair as she smiled down at her niece.

"Me play outside?" Rachel asked, hopping up and down beside Cuddy.

She smiled, reaching out to stroke Rachel's cheek, but then said, "As long as daddy agrees to keep an eye on you."

Rachel nodded and Cuddy took her hand to go check with House, watching Rachel run off to climb her swing set a moment later before turning back to go inside, already counting off the veggies she had at her disposal and which she'd be able to use.

* * *

Cuddy's sister had just left to return to the hotel when the phone rang.

"Go ahead and answer that," Cuddy said, taking Evie from House. "I'll get the girls ready for bed."

House nodded resignedly as he gave Evie to her before reaching for the phone. "Hey mom," he said immediately, having glanced at the Caller ID.

"Hi dear," Blythe replied from the other end of the line. "How are you? How's Lisa? How are the girls?"

"Good," House replied tiredly, figuring his simple answer covered all the bases. "Cuddy's sister is in town for the weekend so Cuddy has been spending time with her and I had an appointment with the girls to get pictures taken this morning, which I should get back in a few weeks and then I'll make sure to send you some," he added, figuring his mom wouldn't let him get away with just saying "good" anyhow.

"_Oh_," Blythe murmured, clearly pleased just at the thought of him sending more pictures her way. "I'll look forward to seeing them," she continued before adding, "I'm just calling to verify that you're still planning on staying with me this next weekend."

House rubbed a hand over his face at the reminder that he had agreed to go to that stupid conference and be one of RE's representatives there, only agreeing because Dr. Cooper had suggested it would be in his favor next time the Board met to discuss department expansions, his mother lived not too far away from where the conference was to be held, making it relatively convenient, and with the understanding that he would not be present for every session, nor staying at the hotel since he had every intention of taking Evie with him and staying somewhere he wouldn't have to worry about being hunted down at by annoying people who wanted to ask him questions in _his _free time, which Dr. Cooper had no problem with, it saving the hospital money anyway to have him stay elsewhere.

"Yeah," he finally replied resignedly.

"Georgia's still coming with you, right?" Blythe asked, her voice communicating that she was in fact looking forward to taking care of her grandchild while House was attending the few commitments he had agreed to.

"Yeah," he responded despite cringing at the reminder that he hadn't been thinking about the conference approaching so quickly, nor had he mentioned it yet to Cuddy and now more than ever he needed to do that.

"And Rachel?" she inquired next. "Will she be coming as well?"

House frowned, realizing he had another detail to work out with Cuddy. "I don't think so," he said simply, thinking Cuddy probably wouldn't like that he was taking Evie, let alone be interested in having _both _her daughters gone for the weekend. On top of that, he wasn't quite sure Rachel was comfortable enough with his mom at this point as to consider leaving her with his mother while he attended the conference sessions he had to. In any case, he didn't have a ticket for her. If she was to come, he'd have to buy one.

"When do you expect to arrive?" Blythe inquired next.

"I have to check my tickets," he mumbled. "But I think we fly out Thursday afternoon. Maybe around 5 p.m.? I'll be renting a car at the airport so we'll probably get to your house around 11," he guessed.

"And you _have _to fly out on Sunday? You can't change your tickets and stay any longer than that?" Blythe hinted.

House crossed his eyes just at the thought but managed to sound semi-regretful, excusing himself by saying, "No. Not this time. I have to be back to work on Monday. But… I doubt Cuddy would be very happy if I stayed longer anyway. She's going to have a hard time as it is with not seeing Evie all weekend long, the weekends being when she gets to spend the most time with her," he was only too happy to be able to excuse himself from staying longer by stating.

And as he knew she would this time, Blythe swallowed his excuses readily, albeit murmuring, "Yes. It really is too bad she doesn't feel able to stay home with the girls full-time. Then you could stay longer and it wouldn't be so hard on her to have Georgia away for a little while."

House rolled his eyes but kept his mouth shut, his mother then adding, "Well next time you should just plan on Lisa and Rachel coming too."

He seriously doubted there would be a next time in the near future and even more, that Cuddy would want to be stuck with his mother while he was off attending conferences, even if against his will, but he didn't relay that to his mother. Instead he replied, "I'll make sure she knows she's welcome any time."

'Please do," Blythe immediately agreed, then saying, "Well, I won't keep you dear but I am looking forward to having you here and to the chance to spend more time with Georgia."

"We'll see you soon," House responded. "And I've done what I can to keep my schedule light so that I'll be around."

Five minutes later House was able to hang up, Blythe sending her greetings to Cuddy and Rachel through him, and after replacing the receiver, he headed off to find Cuddy, figuring he better just get this over with. He found her upstairs, tucking Rachel in.

"You read me anudder story?" Rachel was asking her as House stepped into the room.

Cuddy glanced his way but then refocused on Rachel to say, "No more stories tonight Rachel. It's already past your bedtime. We'll read more books tomorrow, if you want. But right now I have to get Evie to bed and you need to go to sleep."

Rachel pouted but Cuddy gave her a stern look and she finally nodded sadly.

House hid a smile, stepping into the room as Cuddy got to her feet, and then he made a big deal out of tucking Rachel in as tight as he could until she giggled, wriggling, and whined, "_Daddy!_"

House complied with her unspoken request, loosening the blankets, and then drolly met Rachel's gaze when she demanded a kiss, but Rachel was quick to object when he bent down and kissed her "wrong", as she put it. He made a big procedure out of kissing her several times, all of his attempts quickly shot down as not right either, before he appeared to give up, Rachel immediately scrambling out from under the blankets to grab onto his neck before he too could leave her bed, demanding as she dangled from him that he give her a kiss the "right way."

Once he had her resituated under the blankets, Cuddy shaking her head at the two of them from the doorway as she waited for him, House finally succumbed to Rachel's request for a kiss on the lips and then rifled her hair before getting up.

"I love you," Rachel called out to him as he headed for the door, her voice so loud that House questioned whether she thought he was deaf or something.

"Love you too, kid," he mumbled back to her, not looking at Cuddy because he knew she was staring rather foolishly at him right now.

"Love you mommy," Rachel said sweetly then, causing House to snort at the fact that she'd made her declaration to Cuddy in a normal tone of voice.

"Love you, baby," he heard Cuddy reply before adding, "Sweet dreams."

And House waited at the stairs as Cuddy closed the door partway once the only light on within Rachel's room was her nightlight. She turned to him then, smiling wryly, but then followed him downstairs, passing Evie to him once they'd reached the bottom.

"Who called?" she inquired, remembering how the phone had rung.

"My mom," House replied, walking into Evie's room and setting her down on the changing table a second later.

Cuddy came to a stop beside him, her hand stroking Evie's hair out of her face as the baby looked back and forth between her mommy and daddy, who was in the process of changing her wet diaper.

"She says hi," House dryly relayed before his tone changed and he added almost apologetically, "She reminded me that there's a conference this next weekend that I'm required to be at. It's not too far from where she lives."

"And you're taking Evie with you," Cuddy automatically filled in, drawing her own conclusion without needing to be told.

House just nodded.

"Are you driving or flying?" Cuddy asked quietly.

"Flying," he filled in.

"When do you leave?" she then queried.

House looked her way before fastening a clean diaper on Evie and replied, "We fly out sometime Thursday afternoon. I have to check for the time though."

"And when will you be back?" she was just as quick to ask, moistening her lips thereafter.

"We should get back into town around 1 p.m. Sunday afternoon if I remember right," House responded. "When the reservations were made, I remember making sure they wouldn't be for too early in the morning, since I didn't want to have to get up and get Evie ready to go before we'd normally be up."

"The conference is just Friday and Saturday?" Cuddy asked then, trying to mask her disappointment in finding out he and Evie would be gone for a couple days.

"There's a session Sunday morning and then a special luncheon afterwards but I don't have to be there so I never intended to stick around for it," he disclosed, accepting the pajamas that Cuddy passed him now and working them underneath Evie so he could more easily put her in them.

"How long have you known about this conference?" she inquired after a moment of silence passed between them.

House glanced her way but then said, "Since sometime in May but once I finally agreed to go and confirmed the dates with my mother, I kind of blocked it from my mind. It's not like I've ever enjoyed speaking at conferences," he pointedly added.

"You can't just leave Evie here with me?" she found herself asking, despite not having wanted to and internally cringing at her own question.

House shot another look her way but then concentrated on buttoning up Evie's pajamas, frowning before quietly mumbling, "Cuddy, the only time I've ever spent a night away from her was when I went to Georgia to get _you_. And that was _one night. _This would be three. I…"

But Cuddy nodded, her eyes closing, thinking she should just be grateful for how he'd explained it to her.

"My mom asked if Rachel would be coming," he said then, changing the subject. "But I told her I didn't think so. Honestly, I don't think Rachel is ready for that. I'm not even sure she's decided what she thinks of my mother yet. But I knew you wouldn't want them _both _to be gone. Anyway, if you want, I can swing by PPTH on my way to the airport and drop her off with you Thursday afternoon. Then you can either drive her to RE on Friday or make other arrangements."

Cuddy wanted to ask him what they'd do without him and Evie around but the question on the tip of her tongue sounded too pathetic for her to even voice.

"You don't mind staying here?" House asked, picking the baby up and settling her against his chest before his eyes met Cuddy's. "Here as in this house, I mean?" he clarified.

She shook her head slowly, knowing that someone had to be around to see to Cookie Monster but not really wanting to be anywhere else, either, if not with them. She supposed she and Rachel could go visit Julia or her parents, and Cookie Monster could go with or maybe Erika could watch him, but… if House and Evie would be back on Sunday, she didn't really see the point in leaving Friday night or Saturday morning, just to return on Sunday. She knew she _could _go to her house but… she honestly had no desire to and besides, the last time she and Rachel had been there had… left a bad taste in Rachel's mouth which would not prove to have been forgotten if they were suddenly to return there. Besides, she'd readily have an excuse for sleeping in House's bed, even if he wasn't there with her.

"I think it will be hard enough on Rachel to not have you here," she opted to explain. "And I don't really want to take her away for the weekend when I haveno other option butto work on Friday and when you and Evie will be back on Sunday. And this way we'll be here to take care of Cookie Monster as well."

House nodded, passing Evie to Cuddy without hesitation when she reached out for her.

"Do you mind if I rock her to sleep?" Cuddy asked then, already turning to head for the rocking chair.

"No," House said quietly, the corner of his mouth turning up at how she already didn't want to be parted from Evie.

Pausing, he watched her settle herself into the rocking chair before he went to her in order to bend down and press a kiss to Evie's cheek before turning and heading out of the room.

Cuddy's eyes followed him before they returned to Evie and she rocked her, stroking her hair and face even after Evie was asleep before finally placing her in her crib and heading upstairs, not seeking out House first because… she was honestly too close to throwing herself a pity party to see him and… didn't want him to have to deal with her being upset about this and overly sensitive, when he and Evie would only be gone a short time anyhow and there was no basis upon which she could reasonably argue _against _him doing what his job infrequently called him to do.

* * *

House left the kitchen after putting the dog away for the night, grabbing the medical journal he'd been reading from the table after hitting the light switch, and headed back towards Evie's room. He'd heard Cuddy go upstairs but he'd assumed she'd be back down, as she hadn't said goodnight as had become customary. When she hadn't returned downstairs after a half hour had passed though, he knew she wasn't going to.

House cracked Evie's door to check on her, glancing at the baby monitor as he did every night to make sure it was on. Then he sighed before closing the door, setting the alarm, and heading back to his bedroom, only pausing to glance upstairs and note that other than the nightlight's normal glow coming from Rachel's room, there was no other sign of anyone being about, Cuddy most probably in bed already.

He rubbed a hand over his face, resigned to this, whatever _this _was. Their morning had been as close to perfect as he could conceive of it ever being; Cuddy had enjoyed herself and he'd once more succeeded in making her happy, pleased himself in having that be so. He'd come home and Cuddy had still been living off her delight in the morning they'd had. Things had gone fine with Julia. He… might have been a little snarky at times, but he _had _tried to behave and Julia hadn't really made him nuts like he expected her to by the time dinner rolled around. In fact, once she and Cuddy had finished preparing things for the grill, the two of them had joined him and Rachel outside, Evie actually on Julia's hip, and Julia had surprised him further by climbing right up on the swing set with Rachel after passing Evie to Cuddy, following her through tunnels, pushing her on a swing, and generally making her giggle every minute or so with _whatever _she said to her. He hadn't really expected her to be that way, perhaps because he was still thinking of her as the sister who Cuddy had not seen in a year and a half and who had clearly had issues with Evie and from the sounds of it, had also struggled around the time of Rachel's Simchat Bat.

Dinner had been... fine. He hadn't really said much, more interested in observing Cuddy and her relationship with her sister, trying to decide if they were in the honeymoon stage, so to speak, and this… would only last so long, or if they actually were going to have some semblance of a… normal, _whatever that meant_, sibling relationship. In part, he wanted to know how hard he had to try here. But at the same time, he had never really observed Cuddy in a relationship with another woman, other than her mother he supposed, and at the very least, it gave him further reason to continue his study of her, which he'd begun over twenty years ago now.

After dinner House had taken the girls with him and Wilson, who had finally showed up, to go get his motorcycle, the girls going along simply so that Cuddy and Julia could do whatever women did when they spent time together. He could have put off retrieving his motorcycle one more day and it probably would have been fine, but House didn't mind the excuse to leave as more than a couple hours with _anyone _outside the four of them and a few select people generally had him brainstorming ways in which he could escape. When he'd pulled back into the driveway behind Wilson who had brought the girls back home, House had bid his best friend goodbye and headed back inside only to find Julia and Cuddy where he'd left them, sitting on the couch in the living room, both laughing and yet with obvious traces of tears shed as well, looking through pictures together. He'd pretty quickly avoided _that, _though Rachel had climbed up into Julia's lap while Cuddy reached for Evie, and House had then decided he really ought to cut the grass and escaped to do just that, before the sun went down, then heading to his room to take a quick shower.

But… House couldn't really say he ever made a habit out of expecting the good to last. It would just stand to reason that… when he thought things were going well, _something _would happen to make sure it didn't stay that way.

Heading into the bathroom to brush his teeth he stopped mid-stride, faltering as he realized part of his problem. He now felt guilty. And guilt, as much as he loathed it, had him wanting to find a way to make her happy in this as well. It was quite obvious that she was unhappy again – that'd _he'd _made her that way via a conference he really had no choice but to go to – and unhappy enough that she'd clearly avoided even saying goodnight to him. But… he couldn't see a way to work this so as to satisfy her. Because guilty or not, leaving Evie home was not an option he'd consider.

As he brushed his teeth, House racked his brain and what he feared the most was that this would always be the way of things. He'd _want _to make her happy and for a time he would succeed. But he was just as likely to make her _un_happy and in _less_ time than the time it took to make her happy in the first place, with him, with… life, with trying to be _together._ Eventually that would wear on him to the point of not wanting to try anymore so that the subsequent disappointments wouldn't suck as much.

House splashed water on his face, frowning at his reflection in the mirror, before he shook his head and hit the light switch, leaving the bathroom behind.

* * *

July 10th, 2011

"House, you look awful,"Cuddy found herself saying in concern before she could think to word it more diplomatically.

House looked Cuddy's way as she made her way to him, her hand coming up to cup his jaw as she studied him upon reaching his side, just having come downstairs to enter the kitchen, and he gave her a droll look before dryly mumbling, "Aren't you complimentary this morning?"

Cuddy shook her head, ignoring his words as she frowned at him. "Are you feeling alright?" she asked, worrying her lip as she studied him, knowing he wasn't warm to the touch but nevertheless uncertain about his general health with the circles under his eyes and the way he was even now massaging his leg. "Is it your leg?" she queried then. "Is it bothering you?"

"A little," he dismissively replied before excusing, "Maybe I just strained it yesterday while cutting the grass."

Cuddy's eyebrows rose, first in surprise and then in confusion, her hand still upon his jaw. "You cut the grass last night?" she asked after a moment.

"What did you think I was doing?" House probed, his own forehead wrinkling at her question, his hand coming up to remove her hand from his face because while her hold wasn't really making his words sound garbled or anything, it was still weird to talk while someone had their hand on your jaw line.

"I thought you were outside with Wilson," she replied immediately.

House shook his head. "Wilson had to reschedule for a late night date with Erika because he ended up getting called in," he briefly explained.

"I heard the lawnmower," Cuddy acknowledged after a moment, vaguely remembering that. "But I thought it was Aaron, that boy you've been paying to cut the grass this summer."

It would just figure Cuddy would bother to know the kid's name. House rolled his eyes at that but then shook his head. "He's on vacation with his family," he just briefly explained.

"Well, I could have done it," Cuddy pointed out, her lips pressing firmly together at the thought he'd done it and apparently injured himself in the process.

"Cuddy, I can cut the grass," he dryly muttered, his eyes narrowing at her in displeasure. "I just choose not to because it's one less thing to deal with and besides, the kid is cheap."

"I saw his flyer," she contested, tilting her head down, her own eyes narrowing now. "He's _not _cheap. He knows what people are willing to pay in this neighborhood and takes full advantage of that knowledge."

House smirked then and Cuddy's eyes instantly closed as she sighed wearily, rubbing her hand over her face a second later.

He figured she'd read him but he nevertheless said smugly, "I worked myself a deal."

Cuddy returned her eyes to his face and then wryly mumbled, "You are… _so _contradictory. Irritated with me one minute for being concerned about you and bragging about having _exploited _your thigh the next to get discounts from a _boy _who has to do the same amount of work, regardless of you playing the cripple card. Sometimes I want to… beat you with a stick."

House snorted but his grin only widened.

"Seriously, House," Cuddy rebuked. "He has to work the lawnmower around the swing set and …"

"Would you relax?" he interrupted, frowning at her. "It's a difference of a few bucks, Cuddy. And the kid knows if he does the extras he normally wouldn't bother with and I'm happy with his job, I'll tip him more than what the rest of the neighborhood would give him for doing the same. I'm not robbing the kid blind."

Cuddy huffed out a breath but shook her head, letting it go. Refocusing on him, she suggested, "Why don't you go back to bed? If your leg isn't bothering you as much now, you can get some more sleep. You look like you can use it and I can watch the girls."

House brushed aside her offer. "I'm not tired anyway."

Cuddy bit her lip but relented. "Julia's coming over for breakfast," she informed him then, realizing she'd forgotten to tell him the night before, due to _his _announcement.

House grimaced, turning away from her, but Cuddy smiled in amusement before she softly inquired, "What? Getting tired of being polite already?"

House shot her a dirty look but she laughed and then pointed out, "I never asked you to change your behavior for my sister. I appreciate the effort but frankly, it's a little weird to watch you go out of your way for anyone other than my mom."

"I go out of my way for… other people," he quickly countered, frowning at her despite not really knowing why he felt this was an important correction to make, his irritation turning inward as he realized he was acting like he cared about her good opinion of him.

Cuddy reached for him, her hand finding his bicep, and stroked his arm as if to appease him while trying not to get distracted by the muscles contracting below her fingertips. "I know," she agreed softly before wryly adding, "_Occasionally. _So let's not overdo it with Julia because it's really not necessary. Her memory is intact. She remembers what you were like twenty years ago. Trust me when I say she isn't expecting you to be exceptionally polite, and I _certainly _won't ask that of you." And then remembering another detail, she cringed before saying, "But I _would _like it if you'd come with us on a picnic today."

House immediately looked horrified and complained with distaste, "_A picnic? Seriously? _Cuddy, I don't _do _picnics!"

"Come on, it's just this once and it might be fun. The girls will love it!" she cajoled, looking up at him hopefully.

House pursed his mouth but then sneered before gruffly asking, "When's Jr. Cuddy coming?"

"I told her 9:30," Cuddy replied, giving him a smile because she knew without verbalizing it, he'd agreed to this picnic thing. Giving his arm a last squeeze of affection just as a cry sounded from Evie's room, she proffered, "Breakfast duty or kid detail? You pick."

House huffed but then dryly muttered, "I cook better than you," and she smacked his chest lightly but rolled her eyes.

"So be it," she mumbled under her breath, turning to head for Evie's room.

"But once you change that stinky diaper waiting for you, feel free to leave her in her highchair with me," he called after her, his smirk carrying across in his tone.

Cuddy paused but then shook her head before continuing on, not all that surprised that he wanted out of the gross factor but still wanted Evie nearby, realizing he'd probably have chosen kid detail if it weren't for that dirty diaper and the struggle to get the girls dressed, should Rachel especially dig in her heels about what she would and would not wear today. Opening the door to Evie's room, she smiled brightly at the baby standing up against the rails, rattling them with a gleeful smile on her face, giggling when her mommy came in, and then Cuddy laughed despite practically gagging the next moment as the smell of a dirty diaper hit her head on.

* * *

House had plenty of time before Julia would show up but nevertheless went to the fridge, removing the vegetables he'd require before heading to the pantry to retrieve potatoes for a skillet.

"_You are my ONE. You're it. You're mine. You… You… You…"_

House had heard an echo of those words within his head dozens of times since the 4th and that moment in Steve's study, Cuddy before him, practically naked, using the opportunity she had been given alone with him to trail his fingers along her skin, testifying to the physical effects he had on her, testifying to her desire for him.

"… _my ONE…"_

He didn't want to talk about Lucas. And amazingly, she hadn't pushed. Then again, maybe it really wasn't a topic Cuddy cared to touch on either. But… House knew that it wasn't a topic he could put off eternally. He never allowed himself to consciously think about _that _for long. It was unfortunate however that he didn't have quite as much control over his unconscious mind. The dreams were newer; a more recent development. They had started… the night he'd told Ruth to add Cuddy to Evie's list, but had only metastasized since then. Dealing with the making Cuddy _happy _thing was hard enough. Having to deal with… Lucas and every doubt that set off in him via dreams only… exacerbated everything. His mind had no difficulty envisioning a hundred different ways for everything to go south, even in his sleep. But the fact that it was now incorporating Lucas into the mix left him…

The loss of sleep beginning to affect him and clearly apparent to Cuddy as well, he knew he wasn't going to be successful in blowing it off much longer, nor in avoiding the subject. It then came down to a choice between accepting that this wouldn't work out or… allowing Cuddy to be the one to conclude that and letting him know then what would be so that he could just… deal with it. It didn't mean he was ready to though.

"Rachel's awake. I'm going to leave Evie with you and go get her dressed," Cuddy said as she entered the kitchen and broke his train of thought, settling Evie in the highchair a moment later before reaching into a cabinet for her fruit puffs, sprinkling a handful on Evie's tray while Evie happily batted at the air, chanting "dada" to make sure she had House's attention, Cuddy heading for the stairs a second later.

House turned to watch Evie, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth, and then set aside the knife he was using to slice potatoes and went to the baby, stroking her cheek as she jammed a fist of fruit puffs between her waiting lips, a couple of them already mushy and sticking to her other cheek and chin.

Maybe things would be fine, he told himself then, stroking wayward hair away from Evie's mouth, his own mouth pursing. Maybe… But in any case, he had to deal with these thoughts at night. He wasn't going to have his day ruined by dwelling on them now. Bending down, he pressed a kiss to the top of Evie's head, no one present to see him anyway, and then grimaced when he felt her fist his shirt, not surprised to find traces of fruit puffs transferring to him in placing himself in close proximity to her little hands. Heading to the sink he attempted to clean his shirt off before quirking an eyebrow at the wet patch he now had on his chest, making him look like he'd started lactating. Cuddy would love that, he wryly thought to himself. Too bad he was going to deprive her of amusement by changing t-shirts as quickly as possible.

* * *

They were arguing and House couldn't help but think he was enjoying it.

"You _knew _I had a crush on him and yet you _still _went with him to that dance!" Julia was arguing, her eyebrows drawing together, genuinely sounding beyond irritated as she relived the memory of Lisa leaving the house with Ben Baker, an older boy who had lived just down the block from them growing up.

Cuddy laughed disbelievingly, her eyes round as she then scoffed. "He was a junior and you were an eight-grader," she countered. "He didn't even know you were alive! And anyway, it wasn't like _you _could go!"

Julia's jaw dropped in outrage before she huffily reminded, "You were a freshman, Lisa!"

"Exactly my point," Cuddy immediately declared. "_I _was in high school. You _weren't. _You were just the kid sister who followed me around."

"I did _not _follow you around," Julia instantly denied, her lips firming against one another as she readjusted how she was sitting on the blanket Cuddy had brought with them.

"You so did!" Cuddy dryly admonished, glancing away briefly to check on Rachel who was climbing on and off of a merry-go-round at the park they'd opted to go to.

"You make it sound like I didn't have any friends of my own," Julia complained. "You make it sound like you were my only friend in the world who mom _forced _to play with me because no one else did."

"She _did _force me to play with you," Cuddy wryly said, suppressing a smile to add, "But that's nothing when compared to how she forced _my friends _to play with you as well."

"I had my own friends," Julia muttered in exasperation and House looked from one to the other as they argued through a list of supposed friends.

"I thought you didn't have female friends," House interrupted to ask.

Julia beat Lisa to answering him, flashing him a brilliant smile before contributing, "She did. Up until she became a bit…"

"Julia," Cuddy interrupted, aghast.

"Rachel can't hear me," Julia was quick to defend. "And Evie's out cold."

That was true. Evie was wrapped up in a blanket at House's side, sleeping off her full belly, and House wasn't about to complain about Julia's language when things were getting interesting.

He directed his gaze to Cuddy, waiting for her to defend herself.

"I was not a bitch," she mumbled, giving her sister a dirty look.

"You were," Julia gently but pointedly remarked. "All of a sudden all you could talk about was how smart you were, how much teachers loved you, and how you were going to make a name for yourself in the world of medicine and then how we'd all be coming to you, looking for healing from whatever debilitating disease we'd contracted. About the time you started diagnosing your friends with imaginary illnesses, _I _became the Cuddy everyone liked."

"I wasn't that bad," Cuddy sulked, crossing her arms over her chest unbeknownst to her.

"You were," Julia pressed but then mollified with irony, "And it didn't help that suddenly all the guys in a five mile radius had their eyes on you."

Cuddy smiled then, looking appropriately appeased, and then bit her lip before murmuring, "Ben was a _really _good kisser, too."

House sputtered before even Julia could object, indignant, and quick to complain, "I'm _here. _Someone obviously needs to remember that!"

Cuddy shot a smug gaze his way, lifting an eyebrow before asking, "Jealous, House?"

House frowned in irritation but there was a thump then and all three of their heads swiveled as Rachel started to cry.

Both House and Cuddy pushed themselves upright and off the blanket, heading for her, but Cuddy beat him to her, being the one of the two of them to have properly functioning legs. Scooping Rachel up off the ground, she brushed her hair out of her eyes to concernedly ask, "Are you alright, baby?"

"_I want daddy!_" Rachel cried, her head falling back to emit a piercing wail into the air.

Cuddy absently plucked a stick from Rachel's hair but then looked up as House closed the distance, having slowed when there was no doubt Cuddy would beat him to Rachel, and Cuddy frowned worriedly but allowed House to take Rachel from her, staying right beside him.

"What hurts?" he immediately asked over her cries in doctor mode, sinking down onto the merry-go-round, Cuddy sitting down at his side as House moved Rachel back to look at her, Rachel having buried her face in his shirt when he took her, her legs wrapping around him instantly.

Rachel said something but neither one of them understood a word she said as she continued crying in earnest, her volume only having decreased by a decibel in finding herself in her daddy's arms.

"I can't understand you," House seriously informed Rachel when her miserable eyes met his, Cuddy already leaning about him to check Rachel's knees and elbows for scrapes before catching Rachel's tears with a thumb.

Rachel sucked in a couple ragged breaths but House was getting frustrated, knowing he was overreacting but finding himself helpless not to, and demanded, "Did you hit your head?"

Rachel's lips pressed together in a trembling pout as she hiccupped in his arms but she shook her head no.

House stared at her but Cuddy took over, leaning into him to ask somberly, "Rachel, where did you hurt yourself?"

"I fell," she managed to say before dragging in another ragged breath and letting out another high-pitched cry.

"Yes, we know. But where did you get hurt when you fell?" her mommy pressed.

"I dropped my sucker," Rachel wailed, her little shoulders shaking all over again.

"You didn't have a sucker," Cuddy murmured, a look of confusion mixing with dread on her face.

"Where did you find a sucker?" House finally spoke up to ask, realizing now he was more amused than anything.

"In Aunt Julia's purse," Rachel bawled, dropping her head back onto his shoulder in despair.

Cuddy shot a wide-eyed glance at her sister as Julia looked at her purse which she'd placed behind her on the blanket.

"Your kid is a thief," House commented with unsuppressed relish.

"_Our_ kid," Cuddy corrected dryly, narrowing her eyes as she looked at him, frowning upon seeing the amusement written there before she fumbled for words with which to admonish their daughter.

House shrugged but said, "It sounds better when I say your kid. No one would expect any different from a kid of mine."

Cuddy returned her gaze to him but then huffed out a breath.

"Relax," House blew it off. "It could be worse. She could have picked it up off the ground."

As if understanding what they were talking about, Rachel sorrowfully looked up then and said, "Dis time when it dropded, it broke!"

"You'd already dropped it and put it back in your mouth?" Cuddy instantly pieced together, receiving a nod of confirmation from Rachel.

Her mouth dropped open in disbelief before she looked back at House, her head tilting to the side as if to tell him it was his turn to say something.

He lifted a hand up to his face, rubbing it over his jaw before rolling his eyes and moving Rachel away from him so as to establish eye contact with her. "You can't take things from people without their permission," he finally settled on mumbling.

"And you _can't _eat things that have fallen on the floor," Cuddy added, stressing each word. "You _know _that Rachel."

"But it was a red sucker," Rachel argued, sniffing dramatically.

House chuckled at that statement, wanting to agree with Rachel there that color was an important factor in these things, but Cuddy glared at him and he subsequently ignored her, his eyes catching a bruise forming on Rachel's forearm.

Turning her arm so that Cuddy could see, he mumbled, "She did hurt herself."

Rachel caught sight of the bruise then and just like that she was wailing again, jerking herself in House's arms so that she was once more pressed tightly against him.

"_Kiss it!_" she cried brokenly.

"Your mommy will kiss it," House wryly replied, growing weary of the drama now that he knew she would be fine.

Cuddy leaned in to give Rachel's arm a kiss but her lips hadn't even made contact yet when Rachel bawled, "_You kiss it, daddy!_"

"No," he whined, only too aware that Julia was watching this whole scene go down.

Cuddy gave House a look, admonishing him for copping an attitude now when all their daughter was asking for was a bit of comfort from him. "House, she's just overly tired. Is she really asking all that much of you?"

House huffed out a breath through his nose before rolling his eyes again, muttering, "_Fine_," only after he was satisfied with his protest giving in to what Rachel wanted of him, adjusting her in his arms so as to bring her bruise to his mouth.

Rachel slung her arm around his neck then, rubbing her runny nose against his t-shirt and making her daddy whine accordingly, before she finally stopped crying, just drawing in ragged breaths. House pushed himself to his feet as Cuddy stood up as well and followed her back to the blanket before carefully lowering himself to it.

Cuddy glanced at her sister who was clearly amused, watching House who avoided both of their gazes, merely because he didn't want to see them watching him, not at all aware of how his hand was tracing soothing circles on Rachel's back unbeknownst to him.

"Looks like I have to have a talk with her about not going in other people's purses," Cuddy murmured somewhat apologetically then, stealing another look at her sister.

Julia laughed softly but dismissed, "Don't worry about it. I should have been paying better attention and I'd meant to give it to her anyway."

"Still…" Cuddy mumbled, not wanting to make light of her daughter having taken something that hadn't yet belonged to her.

"Trust me, I've been there," Julia reassured. "I've had to drag each of the boys back inside a gas station or two to have them apologize for snatching a stick of gum or a piece of candy."

"That happen last week?" House couldn't help but query provocatively.

Julia narrowed her eyes as she looked at him but contested, "_No. _When they were more or less Rachel's age."

"Already practicing to follow in their daddy's politician's footsteps," he goaded. "Funny how young politicians are when they become aware of the importance of saying one thing while secretly doing another."

"Steve isn't like that," Julia immediately negated, knowing he was picking on her and yet still defending her spouse.

"And there goes the politeness factor," Cuddy wryly stated, shaking her head before releasing a breath of resignation.

"You said I didn't have to be nice," House reminded her with a significant move of his chin.

Julia laughed as Cuddy looked somewhat embarrassed by the implications of what House had just said. "I said I appreciated the effort but not to overdo it. I want you to be yourself," she corrected sternly.

"I _am _being myself," he replied adamantly.

Cuddy sighed again but gave up.

House had thought Rachel had fallen asleep against him but all three adults looked at her the next second as she moved her head back to look up at him. "Daddy, me have a cookie?"

House looked drolly down at her but then mumbled, "Kid, go to sleep."

"But me want a cookie," she whined, rocking herself against him as if to jolt him into motion.

He adjusted her in his lap so that she was away from his bad thigh in the off chance her squirming would bring back the pain he'd been in that morning when he woke up, already expecting it to feel the strain of sitting on a blanket on the hard ground for almost the past two hours. "Go ask your mother," he told her then, jutting his chin out in Cuddy's direction.

"And that's how it all begins," Cuddy murmured as Rachel turned pleading eyes on her now, Julia shaking her head and laughing as well.

* * *

"I thought you were going to stay for supper," Cuddy said, on the verge of pouting as she looked at her sister with disappointment, the five of them only having returned from the park an hour ago.

"I was but… I'm feeling a little homesick," Julia whined before trying to reason with her older sister. "I haven't seen the boys or Steve all weekend since they opted to go camping without me while I was gone. I'm anxious to go home and hear all about their trip."

Cuddy sighed but nodded in understanding, having no doubt in Julia's place, a few days away from House and the girls would have her climbing the walls in her stir-crazy state of being anxious to lay eyes on them again.

"It's not like this is the last time we'll ever see each other," Julia teased then.

Cuddy's mouth twitched but she huffed, "Fine. Leave if you want to."

Julia laughed but then turned to reach for Rachel, pulling her into her arms to give her a big hug. "Oh, you're getting so big!" she exclaimed, Rachel giggling in response as she allowed herself to be squeezed.

Releasing her, Julia turned to House where he stood with Evie, glancing up at him before leaning into Evie to press a kiss to her cheek, tucking her hair back and out of the way first. Straightening, she met House's eyes and rolled her own before dryly stating, "Thanks for entertaining and feeding me."

"Thanks for staying at a hotel," he was quick to retort.

"_House_," Cuddy hissed under her breath.

Julia turned her eyes to her sister, laughing. "Don't worry about it," she reassured, dryly quipping in the next breath laced with irony, "I'm sure he meant it with the utmost affection."

"You should tell yourself that anyway," House volleyed back, not giving Cuddy a chance to speak. "I'm good with that."

Cuddy threw her hands up in the air as if in resignation but then enfolded her baby sister in her embrace. "Thank you for coming, Jules," she murmured into her sister's hair. "I've loved having you here."

"I've loved being here," Julia admitted softly, squeezing her sister even tighter before releasing her. "We'll have to make a habit of seeing each other more."

"_Anything _but that," House was heard mumbling as he turned away from them to reach for an empty bottle in order to feed Evie.

Both Cuddy and Julia mock-glared at his back but then turned back to one another, exchanging a significant look.

"We'll walk you out," Cuddy murmured, Rachel clasping onto her mommy's hand in the very next second.

"Come on, House," she ordered, a hint of a smile playing on the corner of her mouth at the expression her sister shot her.

House made a whiny noise but then followed with Evie, leaving the bottle on the counter for the moment, distaste reflecting in his expression as he headed after them.

* * *

After saying goodnight to Cuddy, neither one of them making any mention of his trip all day, House went to bed, determined to try and fall asleep in a way most likely to guarantee him an absence of nightmares. He… felt better, at least as far as in the statement Cuddy had made that morning, telling him that she didn't expect him to be someone he was not in order to gain the good opinion of her sister. Accepting him as he was, was good, wasn't it?

Turning over onto his side, genuinely feeling his exhaustion despite it only being just after 10 p.m., House sighed and then focused his thoughts on Cuddy and that day in Steve's office, trying to force himself to fall asleep not by thinking of her and her body as if that would put him to sleep but focusing on that in hopes that if he was to dream of Cuddy, they'd be pleasant dreams, maybe even… provocative in an erotic way, instead of destructive. He _did _want his body to react to her again. How would that ever happen if he didn't start thinking of her in… a light conducive to triggering such a response?

He smiled when he had conjured her up in his mind the way she'd been, exercising his brain to recall the way she'd smelled, her shampoo, her perfume; the way her skin felt under his fingers, smooth and soft, perfect and unmarred flesh greeting his eyes when they finally fell on her, tracing the curve of her flawless cleavage alongside his finger, feeling her cheek against the back of his hand, her lips against his knuckles; the way she'd looked at him, eyes fluttering shut, then halfway open but heavy with desire; the way she'd sounded, breathless, clearly having to work to swallow, her voice alternating between a sexy murmur and a earnest whisper, an indecipherable sound issuing forth from deep in her throat when his fingers were placed upon her nipple. He thought of how she'd trailed his finger down her flat belly and where she'd intended to take him next if he hadn't indicated he was already overwhelmed. Then House focused on the details he could still recreate with his mind of what she'd worn below where his hand had ended its journey, recalling the garter and panties, flimsy material with buckles attached to her white thigh high stockings, all of it in vivid detail, always having a mind conducive to remembering things, even when it often remembered things he wished he could forget, even better than what he wanted to store away to savor later on. He pictured her turning around, her shirt and skirt now on, but her thong peeking out at him nevertheless, the flesh of one of the parts he'd always loved the most about her body not completely obscured from view and then he imagined not just zipping that skirt up but unzipping it as well, helping her remove each article of clothing in turn, trying to turn the voltage up on his imaginative abilities so as to increase the heat of the moment and make it something… it hadn't been.

And that was when he failed, his inability to imagine it all inconceivable to him and therein a bitter disappointment. He knew her body. He knew every detail. He knew the noises she made when she was progressing in the direction of an orgasm. He knew how her legs shaped themselves around him, conforming more and more to his flesh with every passing moment. He knew how her muscles twitched and jerked, flinched and clamped, finally wracking her whole body with spasms, how her expression changed by the nanosecond, how her breathing suddenly cut off for a matter of seconds as she whined… He knew all of that. But… he couldn't remember how _he _felt in those moments. He couldn't remember how it was to _enjoy_ having that affect on her. And he wondered how someone with such a great memory for detail could so effectively block out the only memories he wanted to access.

* * *

July 11th, 2011 (_the early hours of the morning_)

Cuddy just couldn't get to sleep. Her mind refused to quiet down, the list of tasks to accomplish tomorrow at work repeating over and over in her head. She didn't know why she did this to herself on Sunday nights before Monday fully rolled around. But accepting that this was just the way she was, Cuddy made no effort to avoid acknowledging as well just how tired she was of meetings, company policy discussions, lunches with important donors, the whole shebang. Normally it was no big deal; just another part of her job. But after having spent the last week trying to ignore all the whispering whenever she entered a room and the stolen glances, she wanted a couple days where while at work, she could just do her job without having contact with another human being. Sadly, that wasn't going to happen.

When two a.m. rolled around, the odds of getting shut eye still unattainable, somewhere just out of reach, she tossed the covers off and headed for the door, intent on making herself a cup of tea to calm and hopefully subdue her dominating mind, grabbing her briefcase though so as to at least accomplish something until the decaffeinated tea kicked in.

But as Cuddy came down the stairs she heard a noise and then another and froze, unsure if it was one of the girls or… something much more sinister, such as someone breaking in. But House always set the alarm at night so...

When the noises kept coming and she'd ruled them out as coming from upstairs, she scrambled down the last few steps, her sole purpose to wake House up so he could investigate. But then she came to a halt, realizing the noise was coming from his room.

Her hand went out in front of her, groping for his doorknob in the darkness, her depth perception thrown off because her eyes had not yet adjusted to the dimness of the hallway downstairs. For a moment she stood there, her hand on the doorknob, uncertain about how to proceed. Frankly, she was a little concerned he might be… occupied doing something or… _trying_ to do something that he'd rather not have her walk in on. But the more she waited, the more she worried; something not feeling right and all those memories of times when he'd needed her, moments she'd referred to and situations she'd asked for him never to place her in again just the day before, all hitting her at once... Giving in to her need to check on him, she little by little turned the knob until it would turn no longer, figuring if she could open it soundlessly, perhaps she could close it before he became aware of her presence, should she need to. But quickly applying a little pressure then she opened the door, peeking within.

What greeted her eyes was far from what she expected in her _best case scenario, _however, though nowhere near as bad as where some of her memories had taken her.

The blankets were twisted in a knot at the bottom of the bed, which Cuddy ignored as she quickly climbed up, crawling towards House. She reached over him to turn his lamp on, knowing it was probably best to wake him in a manner that allowed him to immediately recognize who she was. Her worried eyes focused on his devastated expression and the guttural noises she had vaguely heard from the stairway stemmed from the dry sobs which even now rent the air around her, piercing her heart in the process. Reaching for him, she clasped his biceps, trying to gently shake him from his sleep.

* * *

_When the dream began, House and Cuddy were walking on their beach in Savannah, Georgia, the sunshine bright on their faces, the sound of the ocean washing up on the shore filling the air. Cuddy took his hand, pulling him along, House dragging his feet just to annoy her. She shot him a dirty look and his heartbeat sped a little faster because she was sexy when she looked at him that way, a smile tugging at his lips instantly in response. And then she shook her head, knowing full well what he was doing, and honestly, loving every minute of the game he wanted to play. When he jerked on her arm she didn't even resist his pull, falling into him, one hand still clutching his, the other wrapping around him as she gazed his way seductively from under her eyelashes, her lips shiny from the lip gloss he had smeared on them minutes before, pout perfect, tantalizing him to just cross the distance and sample their suppleness. But he teasingly stepped back and out of range, sidestepping her when she darted for him. The game continued until they finally made their way up to the boardwalk and House stopped to admire how beautiful she looked there before him in her barely there bikini top and wraparound skirt, her curves enticing him to reach for her once again. But when he did, this time she stepped back, her finger shaking in front of him as if trying to touch her was unacceptable behavior and he was asking for a reprimand. That only made him want her more._

_And then the dream morphed and House was standing in the front yard, the smell of fresh cut grass rising from underfoot. He looked down to see the lawnmower in front of him and realizing that he was done cutting the grass, pushed it in the garage and entered the house a moment later. The TV was on and he heard giggling so he went to investigate, wiping the sweat from his brow on his t-shirt after he'd pulled it up and off, tossing it in the laundry room to be washed as he went. Though they were older, House knew they were his girls the minute he stepped into the living room. Rachel and Evie lay on the floor, their elbows propped before them, their chins resting in their hands. He smiled, watching their little legs curling up and kick absently as they giggled at whatever program they had settled on watching together. Somehow House knew it had taken them fifteen minutes to agree on the same one, both being so stubborn and only too willing to fight for what they wanted. He turned, intending to check on Cuddy before he got in the shower, but she was there before him in the entryway, her eyes darting hungrily across the expanse of his chest, her arm extended towards him with one finger encouraging him to come her way and escape for a quickie while the girls were occupied. The come hither look she shot him did things to him that no one else had ever accomplished like she could. And when Cuddy turned and rushed for the bedroom he was right behind her, stalking her like a hunter after his prey._

_Right as he caught her around the waist, pressing himself into her from behind, his teeth sinking into her shoulder and causing her to arch and moan against him, the dream morphed and he was walking down the street alongside some train tracks whose presence had him momentarily confused. Looking around though, unable to identify anything as familiar to him, he then spotted movement in the distance and recognized her even from far away. House instantly headed in her direction, the thrill at seeing her unexpectedly generating a smile so broad it hurt his face. But when he got closer he realized she wasn't alone. And the closer he got the more familiar the other person looked until finally he recognized it was Lucas she was standing with. He stopped right where he was, a frown marring his expression, but the sound of a train whistle broke his concentration and he turned to see it behind him but to the side of him as well, coming at full-speed. His eyes swiveled to where Cuddy and Lucas stood, and only then was he aware that they were standing on the tracks, right in the path of the oncoming train, completely oblivious to anything but each other. He couldn't get his voice to work and so ignoring the sharp stabbing pains in his bad leg he ran for them, the train whistle sounding off, coming closer and closer. But somehow he knew he couldn't save both, a choice had to be made, and so there was no hesitation within him as he barreled into Cuddy, slamming her out of the way just in time to avoid the train killing her._

_Needless to say, Lucas wasn't so lucky._

_Cuddy began sobbing in earnest, her eyes on what remained of Lucas's broken body, and House gathered her up in his arms, trying to shield her from the grotesque sight while comforting her, despite the relief he felt in knowing she was safe, which despite the horror of what had happened, sent endorphins flooding through his body. She began to beat at his chest however, screaming as if in excruciating pain, and he released her instantly, fearful that she had been hurt somehow unbeknownst to him and he was causing her more pain by holding onto her. But when he checked her over, physically, she was all in one piece. His eyes met hers and for a moment he thought she was grieving because Lucas, someone she had known well, had died. But in reading her eyes, he realized in that instant whatever he had seen between them on the tracks was just the tip of the iceberg. In that second he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that what he had witnessed wasn't an accidental run-in or a meeting of friends, but a tryst between two lovers. And seeing that in her eyes shattered something in him that he knew nothing would ever repair._

_But it wasn't over because despite that he reached for her once more, still intent on comforting her in her devastation. But she pushed him away and the words he heard her say next rent his soul in half. "I wish you had died in his place, House. I wish the train had hit you." And then she got up and walked away, leaving him there with her lover's corpse. He watched her go, unable to do anything else, pain radiating through his body and yet nothing in comparison to the emotional devastation she'd wrecked with her departing words._

_And all of a sudden he was stepping into his house, his shoulders weighed down by a weight too big for any man to bear. He hit the light switch, not understanding why the house was so dark, and when the room was illuminated the furniture was where it ought to be but the girls' toys were gone and the picture frames were empty. Instantly a wave of cold dread bathed him and he limped as fast as his legs could carry him in the direction of Evie's room. But her room stood empty with not an item in there to even give evidence to her having ever existed, like some bad horror film he was finding his life to have become. Pivoting, he used his arms to catapult him up the stairs, two at a time, his thigh feeling as if someone was even now taking a torch to it._

_Rachel's room was equally vacant._

_And House knew. He knew Cuddy had taken them. And just as he knew that, deep within, he knew too that he'd never see his girls again. He'd never find her or find his daughters. They were gone. And they weren't coming back. He collapsed to the floor, pain radiating through his body unlike any pain he'd ever experienced before. It transcended the physical, crippling his soul, his body shaking with heaving sobs that he knew would bring no relief to his tortured being._

Suddenly something latched onto him and he was being shaken. The first thought that went through his mind was that he'd gone crazy due to the grief and Wilson had been forced to call Mayfield and have the asylum workers come in their white coats to carry him away to spend the rest of his life locked up in a small, padded room. But when his eyes flew open, dry sobs still tearing from his lungs, it was Cuddy whose concerned face appeared before him.

"Where are they? What have you done with my girls?" House gasped out desperately between sobs, not even attempting to hide how crippled she'd left him and completely ignoring the pain in his leg from his surviving muscles cramping up. The only thing he knew in that moment was that he couldn't afford to lose his daughters in addition to Cuddy herself.

She instantly backed away from him as if slapped but he sat up and grabbed her arms anxiously, afraid that she was going to leave without telling him when perhaps there was still hope he could get them back.

"Evie's in her crib, House," Cuddy quickly murmured, licking her lips, her voice breaking as she tried to reassure him despite the fact that she now wanted to cry. "Rachel's upstairs. They're asleep. It's the middle of the night. You… you were having a bad dream. Just a bad dream."

House released her, falling back against his pillow, his whole body trembling with pent-up emotion. Tension caused the cramping in his thigh to radiate outward but he ignored it as he concentrated on comprehending what reality was in this situation he'd now found himself in, attempting in vain to regulate his breathing, tears now streaming freely down his face without his knowledge.

"A dream?" he choked out in a ragged whisper, searching her face for confirmation.

Cuddy bit her lip but nodded solemnly, wrestling to control a sob of her own. After a moment she moved back towards him, wanting to wipe the tears from his face but too frightened to touch him just yet. When he did not react to her coming closer though, she reached for him, one hand trembling in mid-air before she brought it gently down to caress his face, wiping the tears from his cheeks.

House's right hand moved and she almost scrambled away, irrationally afraid he was going to lash out or push her away from him due to whatever had upset him so badly in his dream. But it went down to his thigh and she watched as his fingers dug into the tissue, massaging it as if it was killing him. Suddenly she understood Sunday morning in a whole different light.

When House opened his eyes moments later it was with surprise that he discovered Cuddy's hand on his face. He instantly reached to still her hand mid-caress and then his eyes met hers and he realized somewhat confusedly that he wasn't the only one having a hard time with what had happened.

"You're crying," he mumbled, his forehead knitting in bewilderment, not able to piece together why she was upset when it was his dream that had been so destructive, something Cuddy could not in any way possibly know the details of.

Cuddy used the hand he wasn't holding to swipe at her cheeks but then realized her nose was now running and used her arm to wipe that as well.

House instantly wrinkled his nose. "That's disgusting," he muttered, his voice still hoarse from sobbing in his sleep.

A bubble of choked laughter made its way up her throat and she smiled tremulously for a second before collapsing onto him, still crying but not feeling quite so awful about everything.

She could hear the rumble of his words through his chest as he firmly instructed her not to cover him in snot, but his hand released hers, his arm wrapping around her before it came up to stretch across her upper arm, his hand finding its way into her hair and stroking through her locks. Then she knew he only said it to say it.

Her left hand stretched out across his chest and she lay there, listening to his heartbeat, wanting to ask about the dream but not yet up to hearing whatever it had been about. Obviously she had played a part in it. Equally obvious was the fact that it hadn't been a good part. And yet here he was, holding her.

House continued to massage his leg with one hand while his other hand occupied itself with Cuddy's hair. Her breathing relaxed, though he could still feel her hot tears through his t-shirt, but when they cooled he thought she had fallen asleep. Then she sniffed loudly, turning her head slightly to wipe at her nose again, and he knew she was still awake.

A minute later his hand relaxed on his thigh, the cramping having come to an end, only now able to think properly. Cuddy's hand left his chest to cover his hand where it lay on his leg, her thumb slipping under and into his palm as if they were shaking hands. "Tell me about your dream," she mumbled, rubbing her face against his chest as she nuzzled him.

House sighed, his other hand stilling in her hair. "I can't remember it," he deflected.

Without even thinking about it she opened her mouth and bit his chest, knowing he was lying.

"_Ouch! Cuddy!_" he exclaimed, his hand squeezing hers, the other knotting in her hair as his chest muscles twitched below her.

"Tell me," she replied, her tone revealing that she meant business.

"You don't want to know," House muttered, trying a different tactic in his attempts to avoid recounting the details when it wouldn't be pleasant for anyone.

"Next time I'm going to find your nipple," Cuddy warned.

"Oh you talk so dirty," House taunted, covering his hesitancy to talk about his dream with his old fallback upon sexual innuendo that he so rarely allowed himself to use nowadays.

And so Cuddy instantly followed through on her threat, her head turning quickly and her teeth latching onto his nipple through his t-shirt, biting down hard enough to potentially bruise him but not break the skin.

House yelped, jerking violently to the side as she let go, the hand in her hair ripping a few strands out in the process, and Cuddy's head fell from his chest, landing on the bed beside him, her face now pressed into his back right between his shoulder blades. "You can't say I didn't warn you," she informed him sharply.

House rolled towards her to scold her, his back plowing her face into the bed before he realized it and sat up. Cuddy sat up too, using the hand that she was still holding for leverage. "Tell me about the dream," she repeated, not releasing his hand.

House didn't really notice they were holding hands. He just used the one still available to him to rub at his face. Finally he exhaled noisily before falling back on the bed. Using her right arm, she propped herself up on one elbow beside him, her legs stretching out, her toes creeping into the bottoms of his pajama pants to press against his calf, even hungrier for contact because she was internally fearful about what he had to say.

She looked at him, waiting, and he grumpily complained, "Your feet are cold."

"Get over it and get on with it," Cuddy bit out, her lips pressed together and eyes narrowed.

Pursing his lips he thought of how to begin and then just resignedly determined to just get it over with as fast as he could. "I was walking down the street near some train tracks and I saw you in the distance. I… went towards you and realized you weren't alone."

"Who was with me?" she interrupted. "The girls?"

He shook his head, his eyes shutting briefly. When they reopened, she saw the flagrant pain there. "It was…"

House had to clear his throat before he could voice it but then he reluctantly admitted in hardly more than a choked whisper, "Lucas."

Cuddy's expression softened at even hearing House say his name out loud, despite not knowing what was still to come. She was also in part just reacting to what he had clearly felt in that moment and it was obvious it had pained him to see her with Lucas.

"I heard a train whistle and turned to look for the train. That's when I realized that you and Lucas were standing on the tracks," he continued, avoiding her gaze. "It was coming fast and you two were clueless. It was like I was the only one who could hear the whistle. But I couldn't warn you so I… ran towards you as fast as I could. But I only had so much time and in the end I could only save one of you."

"Who did you save?" she asked carefully in little more than a whisper, her tone even and nonjudgmental.

"You, Cuddy. Of course you," he declared, looking at her sharply, his forehead wrinkling that she'd even have to ask.

She nodded, following the dream so far. "So Lucas died I take it?" she prompted, completely focused on his face and the expressions crossing there before her eyes.

House looked away. "Yeah. I would have saved him if I could. I just didn't have time. I had to choose," he explained as if to justify his actions, as if he fully expected she'd be upset with him or something for not saving Lucas too.

House wasn't meeting her gaze and Cuddy frowned a moment before asking, "What happened then?"

"You were crying," he mumbled next, a deep frown setting in. "I tried to comfort you but you were hitting me, screaming, and I was worried you'd been hurt so I released you to check, yet there was nothing physically wrong with you. So I thought you were understandably upset to have someone you knew and had once loved, die there before you. But when I looked in your eyes…"

His words died off and he swallowed hard, a lump having formed in his throat.

"What did you see in my eyes, House?" she asked softly as she tried to read his profile.

"Can we just not talk about this?" he asked, unable to meet her eyes, shifting as if to move away from her.

"What did you see, House?" she repeated, her voice even but firm, her hand clamping down upon his and making him aware of her hold on him for the first time.

House looked at their intertwined fingers but then away and up at the ceiling. "You still loved him," he mumbled, just waiting for her to pull her hand from his. "You were… together. You had a… _thing_ going. I just didn't know about it. We were… but you were… I thought we were happy. I thought I made you happy, but…"

"I was cheating on you with Lucas," she whispered then, her mind connecting the dots.

House just nodded.

"Was that the end of the dream?" Cuddy asked softly, her eyes moving over his features.

"Yeah," he told her quickly; too quickly.

"You're lying," she replied flatly. "What happened next?"

"You didn't do anything," he dismissed quickly.

"What did I say?" she interpreted his declaration to conclude.

And without any hesitation, though with quite a lot of emotion revealed in the words to come, he disclosed, "'I wish you had died in his place, House. I wish the train had hit _you_.' That's what you said. And just like that, you walked away. And… when I got home, the girls were gone. Their rooms were empty. You'd taken them. You walked out of my life and took the girls with you. And somehow I knew I'd never see any of you again. Just as much as I knew I'd never get over that loss. The three of you… You're my world now. And then you were gone."

Cuddy struggled to breathe, her head moving around like a fish trying to suck in air, tears already streaming down her face due to what he in detail remembered her dream likeness to have said to him. She sat up, trying hard to suppress the sob that wracked her body then, releasing his hand to plant it on the other side of him by his right shoulder once she'd turned towards him.

His words pained her for a variety of reasons, making her aware of how many things they needed to talk about and work through. But right now she concentrated on how vulnerable he had just made himself and how open he'd been with her when she knew House enough to recognize how much his honesty was costing him, especially when his eyes were even now closed to block her out, not wanting to face the possibility of a negative reaction, be it rejection or something else entirely. Supporting herself with her arms, she leaned in, bringing her lips to his.

Cuddy kissed him softly and then kissed him again, leaving wet kisses, salty from her tears, on his motionless lips. Next she pressed a kiss to his chin, then his jaw, his cheek, his forehead, his other cheek, his jaw, his nose, and back to his mouth. "I love you," she murmured against his lips. "I love YOU, House. Only you."

Her tears fell on his face and t-shirt as she moved in and away from him repeatedly, mingling with the few of his that remained while he lie there, eyes shut, allowing her to kiss him but not responding in any way, the dream having taken too high a toll on him to let her in. Over and over again she repeated that she loved him and only him. Then she straightened so that she was sitting up, allowing her to use a hand to trace the contours of his face with a finger, running it across his lips and through his stubble, along his cheekbones to his temple, tracing his forehead and then the side of his face, back into his stubble, down the bridge of his nose, and back over his lips again, helplessly searching for ways to get inside the walls he was trying to put up. She tucked her knees up under her and leaned forward on them, her hands going back to each side of his face as she brought their foreheads into contact.

"Look at me," she whispered, her red-rimmed eyes meeting his when he finally opened them to look at her. "I love YOU, Greg House," she said somberly. "No one else. I would NEVER cheat on you. I would NEVER take your daughters from you. Nor am I going ANYWHERE. I am going to wait you out until you can't resist me anymore. Until you trust me with every little part of you. And then from that moment on, I'll never leave your side. That's a promise."

Leaning in she brought her lips to his, not breaking eye contact as she gently kissed him once more. "I love you," she repeated against his lips, one final time. Then she drew away, maintaining eye contact a moment longer before reaching across him to turn off the lamp, knowing he also was in desperate need of some sleep.

House lay still as Cuddy turned, reaching down to grab the blankets at the bottom of the bed and straighten them before bringing them up to cover the two of them. Hearing her sniff again in an attempt to keep her nose from running, House fumbled in the darkness with one hand to find the nightstand drawer, pulling it open and withdrawing a couple tissues before shutting it and slipping the tissues in one of her hands. She blew her nose and then settled in beside him, her head resting on his chest once more, her arm wrapping around him. House covered her one arm with his own, his other arm settling on her back and tracing circles on her skin through her shirt.

When fifteen minutes had passed and neither of them was asleep, House spoke up, his voice gravelly. "I love you, Cuddy."

"You still don't trust me though," she said in reply, barely murmuring the words.

"I know," he agreed, the silence stretching between them for a moment. "But I'm trying," he admitted then.

"I know you are," she acknowledged, sighing softly.

"I'm not going to make you happy," House mumbled, causing Cuddy to look up at him in confusion.

She made no move to say anything, just waiting for him to explain, and House huffed out a breath before he honestly mumbled, "I'm trying. I _want to. _But… look at this weekend. Saturday morning I… made you happy. But by Saturday night… all it took was a phone call from my mom reminding me about this stupid conference I have to go to and… all your happiness from that morning was wiped away."

"House," Cuddy exclaimed in shock, quickly sitting upright so as to stare down at him, her head moving about. "I might not like the fact that you have to go away this week and that Evie's going to go with you, but I am _not _upset with you over that."

"You went upstairs without even saying goodnight," he reminded in a quiet mumble.

Cuddy's eyes shut in sadness but then the corner of her mouth rose a little as she looked down at him, reaching out to touch his face. "I was feeling sorry for myself," she readily confessed, her fingers stroking his scruffy cheek. "I'm used to having you near me and having all weekend with Evie. I don't _like _being without either one of you. So… Thursday to Sunday sounds like a _lifetime _to me_. _But that _does not in any way_ detract from how much I loved Saturday morning."

"You loved Saturday morning?" House couldn't help but prompt, wanting to know more, wanting to hear how she'd felt.

Cuddy rolled her eyes but smiled, admitting in a soft voice, "I loved everything about it. I loved that you planned it all out in advance. I love that you talked them into it and paid extra to include me. I love that you had me think my going with was _my _idea. I even love that you were digging around in my drawers so that I'd have what I needed to match you three."

"Mmm. I'll remember that," House interrupted to interject with a quirked eyebrow.

Cuddy laughed but returned to what she'd been saying. "I love that you bought Evie a shirt to match Rachel's. I love that you _knew _I loved that shirt without my ever having to tell you so. I love that you were so sneaky in temporarily tattooing the girls _and _myself," she acknowledged, giving him a warning look to communicate that saying that _didn't _mean he had permission to randomly tattoo _any _of them from here on out.

"You liked your tattoo?" House inquired with a bit of a smirk.

Cuddy laughed breathily but then rolled her eyes before looking at her arm, rolling up the sleeve to reveal she still had it.

House laughed even louder than she had and she quickly moved her hand to cover his mouth, murmuring in rebuke, "House, you'll wake Evie."

"She sleeps like a rock," House dryly replied when she finally removed her hand.

"That expression has never made any sense to me," she mumbled but was then distracted as House's hand came up to push her sleeve higher again, his fingers stroking her arm around the tattoo's edges, causing goosebumps to pop up along the length of her arms, a shiver running down her spine.

Ignoring what she'd said and also how she'd just reacted to his touch, House suggested, "We could make this a permanent tattoo," before waggling his eyebrows at her for effect.

"I am _not _permanently tattooing your name _anywhere _on my body," she instantly negated, House pouting in response. "So don't even allow that idea to enter your mind."

"Why? You clearly like it," he pressed, his chin jutting up at her as if to challenge her to deny it.

"I like that I can remove it easily too," she retorted dryly.

"I had to order a hundred of them," he told her slyly then. "If you want I'll help you cover your whole body with them. You know, in case it will help you cope with me being out of town for a few days."

Cuddy scoffed at the idea but then admitted, "I'm going to sleep in your bed when you're gone. Don't have Greta wash your sheets this coming Saturday because if I'm not here when she's cleaning and I come home to find them not smelling like you, I'll be very upset. I'll wash them myself once you're home."

House snorted at her very serious declaration but she didn't give him a chance to reply.

"And you're going to Skype with me while you're gone so that Rachel doesn't take your absence so hard and so that I can talk to Evie," she continued.

"And so you can see me," House interjected with a smirk.

"And so we can see _each other_," Cuddy corrected with a pointed look.

"Okay," he agreed, actually pleased with the idea.

Cuddy smiled at the fact that she didn't have to convince him but then turned serious as she questioned, "House, is that why you put me on Evie's list? Did you put me on her list in order to make me happy? Because… I don't want you doing things _just _to make me happy."

House's forehead rose as he stared at her in surprise. "Why not?" he asked doubtfully.

"Because I don't," she said instantly, shaking her head adamantly so as to convince him she was being straightforward. "Because I'm not looking for you to make me happy. You _do _make me happy. But you can't _always _make me happy. I want so much for us but… I also want you, just as you are. And I don't want either one of us operating under false assumptions that we can make one another happy 100% of the time."

"But you want to make me happy, don't you?" he asked probingly.

"I do," she agreed, her eyes widening. "I want to make you _very _happy. But… happiness by definition is not something that lasts forever. It's something that comes and goes. Do _you _think I can make you happy 100% of the time?" Cuddy queried pointedly.

House stared at her, his mouth pursing, but then he shook his head.

Cuddy smiled and stroked the back of her hand against his face because he looked disappointed at not being able to tell her she would. To soften the reminder, she wryly murmured, "Can you imagine how boring it would be if we were _always _happy with one another? That would take away half the fun. Being happy together would quickly become old-school if we never got to fight with one another."

And House met her eyes, the corners of his mouth rising at her acknowledgement that she wasn't at all disappointed by the fact that "Happily Ever After" didn't exactly exist, suddenly feeling a wave of relief wash over him.

But thinking about "Happily Ever After" _eventually _led to thinking of Lucas and her desire to have a happily ever after _with him_ and House frowned, looking away.

"What?" Cuddy inquired, leaning towards him to await his response.

He reached up to move her hand from where it still lay against his face, releasing it after placing it over her own leg, and Cuddy's eyes widened at his actions, clearly separating her from him with purpose before he mumbled, "But you were happy with Lucas. You said so. You said that that was more than you could say for anything you and I had ever shared," House quoted, recalling exactly what she'd told him all those months ago. "You said that I could never be someone you'd want to spend the rest of your life with, Cuddy. So… what's changed? No, don't answer that. That'd take all night. What I mean is… how do you… _know_ that I'm really what you want and that I'm 'your one,' as you say, when only a year or so ago you were convinced I was the last person you'd ever want to… be with?"

Cuddy groaned, turning to sink back down on the bed and huddle around him, but House pushed himself upright in response, waiting for her answer, clearly needing to see her face when it was given so that he could be sure she was being truthful. She wanted to touch him but she understood the distraction their physical contact would be for him when he was focused on getting an answer so she just met his eyes, her own sad, and softly said, "House, I really don't care about Lucas. I really don't. I wish I could erase him completely from the past for both of our sakes. And when I said those things, I was just lashing out at you. I've tried to tell you this before but… When you went to Mayfield," she began. "I wasn't sure you'd ever come back. My whole world fell apart. I was… terrified. And we'd had so many opportunities and messed each of them up. You were… my impossible dream. I couldn't seem to _have you. _So when he showed up, wanting a relationship, wanting to see where things could go… I needed a _distraction_. And… then as time passed, I wanted to believe that even if I couldn't have you, it didn't mean I would never have _anyone_. I just… You going to Mayfield as you did was the end of _your _breakdown. But it was the _beginning_ of mine."

House watched her carefully but then broke eye contact to ask solemnly, "Cuddy, how can you be sure that you're… _over _him?"

"Will you lie back down with me and I'll tell you?" she asked, meeting his eyes when he looked back at her so that he could see she had every intention of telling him but also just wanted to be able to touch him again.

He nodded, releasing a breath through his nose, and she waited until he was back beside her before tucking herself back into his side, reaching about her to find his hand and return it to her back, smiling when he automatically started stroking her again.

"House, do you remember when you came into my office and left Lucas's address on my desk?" she inquired, her head moving slightly against his chest.

His hand immediately stilled on her back. "Yeah," he acknowledged after a pause.

"I didn't need to use it. I had already run into him." Cuddy licked her lips as they were dry, and then pressed on when House said nothing, as middle of the night confessions seemed to suit both of them. "This was before I drove down to Georgia, back at the end of January. I went to the mall to pick up some clothes for Rachel and I ran into him there. I heard him before I saw him and froze, my initial instinct being to escape the awkwardness of it all. But it was too late. He spotted me. And he was with another woman. A… younger woman."

Cuddy smiled, thinking about that moment, but realizing that House couldn't see she was smiling, she hurried on. "Anyway, I talked with them for a few minutes. It was obvious that she was his new girlfriend. In fact, they were engaged. She had the ring he'd once given me on her finger. Talk about tacky but anyhow… When we parted ways a moment later, she asked him if I wasn't the woman he'd been engaged to before. She was shocked that I was so _old_."

Cuddy laughed softly and House's forehead wrinkled in confusion, not understanding her apparent amusement in recounting this to him, let alone why she was actually laughing. "So I headed into Baby Gap then," she picked back up, "having heard their conversation and being embarrassed by it. And I couldn't help myself. I just… started laughing."

When he still didn't say anything in response, Cuddy pressed onward, determined to explain so that he'd better understand her. "House, for months I had been afraid of how I'd feel when I'd finally see him again. I worried about a million different things I might feel in that moment; regret, loss, a blur of emotions I'd felt while Lucas and I were together, the pain I felt when things fell apart, or worse, a return of the depression I'd just narrowly escaped. And if I had ever considered it would be when he was with another woman, I would have expected to be devastated by that. But when the moment came... I felt… nothing."

She waited a moment for that to sink in before she said self-assuredly, "House, I never loved Lucas. I loved the _idea_ of Lucas. I loved what I thought he did for me; what I thought he'd do for me in the years ahead. I had this… misconception within me that he was the part I'd been looking for all my life to fulfill what I still lacked. I'm not saying I didn't have feelings for him. I'm just saying that whatever I felt for him once, when I saw him, I knew no longer existed."

Cuddy lay there beside House, quietly allowing him time to process, intending to explain in more detail but also wanting to respect his right to chose where the conversation went from here or express whatever doubts he had over what she'd just said before she moved on.

"Why did you go to Georgia?" he asked finally, surprising her somewhat by departing from the subject of Lucas.

She laughed then, the hand that rested on his chest rubbing small circles on his side for a moment. "I went to Georgia in an attempt to cleanse myself of heartache," she finally admitted with some embarrassment.

"Cuddy, how does that make any sense at all?" House protested skeptically, lifting his head in an attempt to see her face.

"It wasn't too long after my encounter with Lucas that _someone else_ walked back into my life," she began, her voice teasingly light as she leaned her head back to make eye contact in the darkness of his room. "Or maybe it would be better to say, back into my hospital."

Cuddy smiled and then sighed before continuing. "I was in the clinic when I overheard one of the nurses mention she'd seen you walk in the door. I was surprised to hear you were at PPTH. But maybe what was more surprising than even that was how I felt in that moment. The truth is, I… I _wanted_ to see you. It had been _too long_. And that's honestly what I felt. I was like a moth to a flame, drawn to you. So I waited around for you to come back downstairs, naturally assuming you had gone up to see Wilson. And then you came down. But you weren't alone. Erika and Trevor were with you. So there you were, a little boy holding your hand while you had your arm protectively around a woman I'd never seen before; I'm sure because Evie was in her arms but I didn't _know that_. I just knew your arm was around her, protecting her as you'd once protected me. Never in my life had I felt as… _jealous_ as I did in that moment. She looked my way and our eyes met. I wanted to kill her when she smiled pleasantly. And before that, before I saw her, I had my attention on you and there was no way I could lie to myself about how you felt about me right then. You _hated_ me. And it was like someone had stabbed me; like I was dying slowly due to the look in your eyes."

"I was pissed," House muttered, breaking their interlocked gaze to stare up at the ceiling. "Pissed and defiant. Defiant because I had brought Evie into the hospital with me, disregarding your rules, and pissed because you'd told everyone she was stillborn."

Cuddy didn't say anything for some time, guilt weighing heavily on her and she swallowed hard, biting her lip, trying not to cry.

"I'm not so pissed now," he added finally, knowing she was feeling guilty and not caring to add to her suffering.

Cuddy pressed a kiss into his abdomen in acknowledgement of what he'd said and then picked back up where she'd left off. "Anyway, I was jealous. And Wilson wouldn't tell me who this other woman was. So I decided she deserved you more than I did after all I'd done to you and determined that I'd move on. I couldn't have you anyway, because at that point I… still hadn't come to a place where I could accept Evie. And… I was still feeling betrayed by you in that you chose her over me."

House sighed dramatically. "Why did it have to be one or the other, Cuddy?" he asked dryly. "I wanted you both. And anyway, you didn't even want me. You still wanted Lucas."

"I never said I was sound of mind, House," she reminded him, propping herself up to frown at him.

"When are you _ever?_" he taunted, promptly receiving an elbow to the gut.

"Shut up," she muttered as he groaned, reaching under her arm to rub the spot.

Cuddy shoved his hand away, her hand sliding to rub the spot soothingly and causing House to smile in the process. "You big baby," she mumbled under her breath, tracing circles there with the pads of her fingers before lowering herself back down beside him.

"So you ran off to get over me," he teased with a half-smirk, returning to her reasons for going to Georgia.

"My mom was getting on my nerves anyway," she griped, continuing to rub his belly.

"I _love_ your mom," he replied, his smile growing.

"_You_ _would_. She always sides with you," Cuddy complained.

House laughed. "Oh, poor little Cuddy," he quipped.

"Shut up House," she muttered again in irritation.

House smiled. After a moment he said, "Cuddy, my dream wasn't all bad."

"Exactly what part of that dream was _good?_" she asked disbelievingly.

"The part I didn't tell you about," he mischievously announced, intrigue lacing his tone.

Cuddy raised her head up to look at him long and hard. Her forehead wrinkled and he ran a finger across the lines there before she took the bait and curiously asked, "What part would that be?"

"Wait a minute. Why should I tell you? You wouldn't tell me about _your_ dreams," he pointed out.

"Because my dreams were sex dreams," she countered tersely. "They wouldn't do anything for you and yet recounting them would have just left _me _sexually frustrated. Now tell me because honestly, you should cheer me up after having to hear just how awful my dream likeness was."

He quirked his mouth but then thought she was in for a bit of sexual frustration anyway if he told her hisdreams and that was at least entertaining _for him_. But… he did kinda want to reassure her about his dream now, not just leaving her with an impression of how his mind had shaped her to be and act in the bad parts.

Nodding slowly, he began, "Well, when the dream started, we were on the beach in Georgia where I took you that year over spring break. But we were as we are now."

She laughed a husky laugh. "Old? Or muddling through a screwed up relationship?"

He rolled his eyes but smiled, his finger still tracing her skin but now wandering all over her face as he did so. "Old," he affirmed. "Our relationship was back on track."

"I like the sound of that," she murmured, biting playfully at his finger when it got close enough.

"You'll like the rest if you ever shut up," he quipped, pulling his finger out of reach just as her mouth snapped closed, keeping her from biting him more forcefully.

Cuddy pouted but he had her attention. "And?" she pressed impatiently, her eyes meeting his again.

"I was messing with you. You had my hand in your clutches and were in the process of dragging me down the beach. You gave me that look you like to give me when you're pretending to be angry but really, you just want to rip my clothes off and have your wicked way with me. You know, _that_ look," he said pointedly, his chin jutting out at her.

"I don't know what look you are talking about," she told him evenly, altering her facial expression to indicate she felt nothing.

"Yes you do," he replied, smiling broadly.

She rolled her eyes. "Can we get on with this?" she huffed then.

House laughed. "You're so impatient," he teased.

"Well, you're a pain in the…" she began, but House interrupted, his finger pressing firmly to her lips.

"Shh," he murmured. "You always have such a dirty mouth. And we have babies nearby."

She laughed at him. "Yeah, like that's something to really be concerned about right now."

He smiled but ignored her otherwise, continuing with the telling of his dream. Tracing her lips with his fingertip, pressing his finger against them a moment later just enough to move them about, he said, "Like I was saying, you were giving me the _'do me'_ look, seductively eyeing me from under your eyelashes, and your lips were extra delicious because I'd spread lip gloss on them myself only moments before. But I wouldn't kiss you, playing hard to get."

Cuddy licked her lips, her tongue brushing against his finger in the process, and her eyes focused on his lips for a moment before she met his eyes, her own hooded, and prompted, "And?"

"We headed for the boardwalk. You were wearing this wraparound skirt and a bikini top that accentuated… one of your better features," he hinted dramatically, enjoying this now. "I wanted to touch you but this time it was you who was teasing me," he continued. "You wouldn't let me near you."

She smiled. "And?"

"AND," he dragged out. "Then the dream morphed."

Cuddy pouted prettily, thinking that was all she was going to get, and he laughed, enjoying her interest.

"So," he teasingly started, "then I was out in the yard and had just cut the grass. I put the lawnmower away and entered the house to find the girls in front of the TV, watching some show that they'd finally both settled on. In my dream they were older than they are now," he added in explanation.

"How much older? What did they look like?" Cuddy interrupted in curiosity, having been about to comment on how this dream clearly sprung from the day before but then losing interest in that as he brought the girls into the mix.

House sighed dramatically. "What does that matter?" he demanded to know.

She smacked him in the chest with the back of her hand before biting her lip. "It matters! They're our girls! I want to know!"

"I could still recognize them," he said dryly, caving to her need for details. "They were just… _older_. They were laying on the floor, side by side, giggling, their feet swinging, their chins supported on their hands."

He smiled, remembering two details. "I forgot to say that I was all sweaty and so I took my shirt off and used it to wipe the sweat from my face. And that in my dream, I knew it had taken the girls fifteen minutes to agree on a program because they were _both_ incredibly stubborn and determined to get what they wanted. Like someone else I know," he quipped.

She wrinkled her nose at him before rolling her eyes. "Go back to you. Your shirt was off? What were you wearing?" she pressed, licking her lips.

"You _so_ want me," he taunted, genuinely enjoying that fact.

"House, just tell me what you were wearing," she muttered firmly, not allowing him to get off track now.

He shrugged. "Shorts, I think."

"You hardly ever wear shorts," Cuddy commented. "I bet your legs were pasty white."

"Are you insulting me? Because I'm pretty sure that's the fast track to ending this," House retorted, giving her a warning look.

"Then what happened?" Cuddy asked, giving him a semi-repentant smile, clearly hungry for more details.

"I was going to check and see what you were up to before taking a shower but I didn't have to go looking for you because you were there when I turned around. Your eyes practically violated me right then and there, the sight of my bare chest turning you on beyond what you could bear," he continued semi-gleefully in his tweaking of details, pausing until she impatiently nodded for him to go on before smiling and dragging it out to build the anticipation she was clearly experiencing, "You had your hand out towards me, encouraging me with your pointer finger to follow you for a quickie while the girls were busy watching their show. There was no way I was about to lose an opportunity like that," House acknowledged. "You turned and shot off in the direction of the bedroom and I was right behind you, like a lion stalking an antelope. I caught you around your waist and pressed myself against your back, my teeth biting down on your shoulder, causing you to arch against me, crying out and moaning and…"

Cuddy waited breathlessly for him to continue, her lower lip between her teeth, her eyes cloudy with desire. "And?" she finally prompted in a whimper once more, her eyes flicking to his lips and hand caressing his chest more seductively.

"And… then the dream changed again, this time into a nightmare," House said wryly, his lips pursing as he shrugged.

"Buzz kill," she grumbled, her hand still trailing suggestively along his torso without her knowledge.

House reached down and caught her hand before it could wander further. "Cuddy," he said, cautioning her.

She moaned before flipping over and landing sprawled out on the bed next to him, her head on the spare pillow. "Sorry," she apologized after a moment. "You got me a little worked up."

House chuckled at her expense and she propped herself back up on her side to look at him. "It's not really fair for you to tease me."

When he just shrugged she asked, "That really does nothing for you?"

"Sorry," he replied. "Not now. Not yet anyway."

"Do you think your body was… reacting while you were asleep? _Before _your dreams turned ugly?" Cuddy inquired.

"You think I might be able to respond when I'm unconscious?" House instantly asked in curiosity, trying to follow her.

"Do _you?_" she replied, studying him attentively.

"I don't know," he mumbled. "I don't… generally have dreams like that. Not in a long time anyway."

"Really?" she asked, propping herself up to look at him. "Well, that's good. Isn't it?" she prompted hopefully.

House thought about what he'd been thinking about when he'd first crawled into bed, understanding how that could have triggered his dreams, at least to an extent. But in his dreams, he _had _actively pursued sex with her; at the very minimum, foreplay. But sharing what he'd been thinking about was… complicated. He didn't want to give her false hope. He didn't want her to be disappointed if he didn't shortly begin to react to her on a physical level. And… while he had kind of concluded he had a mental block due to his not being able to remember sex with her with an overall positive perspective, no longer able to generate memories of enjoying it himself though he _knew _he _had _on more than one occasion, between their first night together in college and their first couple times after twenty years of abstaining from each other, House didn't want to share that with Cuddy and… ruin the progress he couldn't deny to himself they'd made in the last hour or so. He also didn't want to hurt her needlessly when he figured they'd both caused enough damage to each other in the past.

"I guess time will tell," he settled on saying, shrugging lightly. "But if I was physically reacting to my dreams of… you and me, I have no memory of that."

Cuddy exhaled her frustration but then tried to think of something that would get her mind off of what her body was so hungry for. And then she realized that House had told _her_ that he loved her for the first time since that day when she'd come to ask for a second chance with Evie, there on the picnic table in the jogging park near PPTH. Suddenly irritated with herself for only just realizing that, though really, he was starting to show a propensity for saying it under dismal circumstances, she quickly flipped over on her tummy, closing the space between them before scooting up on her hands and knees to stare down into his face as he stared up at her, his brow wrinkled in perplexity.

"Yeah?" he prompted dryly after a minute of her just staring goofily at him.

"Say it again," she encouraged sweetly, nodding her chin at him.

"Say what again?" House guardedly inquired, an eyebrow quirking skeptically.

Cuddy huffed but then bemoaned with a pout, "When I asked you to give me a chance to be in Evie's life again, I asked you if you wouldn't consider… loving me again too," she murmured gently. "You confessed that you did love me but didn't want to, which kind of ruined the moment," she pointed out, her tone taking on a hint of frustration. "Then you told _your mother _that you loved me and I had to go and overhear you but you were all angry about it and wouldn't say it to _me. _Now you finally say it _to me _for the first time since that day when we were sitting at our picnic table in the jogging park but you _have _to go and say it following a disastrous nightmare involving me being the scum of the earth." Breathing out through her nose again, she wheedled, "I want to hear you say it and mean it when you actually might kinda like me."

"_Our _picnic table?" he queried with irony when she finally fell silent.

"_House_," Cuddy whined, not appreciating his humor when she was serious about this.

His smirk softened into a smile but then he propped himself up on his good leg beside her and Cuddy echoed his movement so they were facing each other perfectly. House reached out with his right hand, his palm cupping her face without hesitation and thumb stroking over her lips momentarily, enjoying how her cheek leaned into his touch before he turned serious and said truthfully, "I love you, Cuddy."

And her expression melted, tears filling her eyes, but House just moved his thumb to rest on her jaw before he lifted her face to change their angles and leaned in, bringing his mouth to hers while balancing his weight on his elbows.

Cuddy sucked in a ragged breath before his lips made contact and her eyelashes fluttered shut, one set brushing against his cheek as they lowered. She hummed against his lips as he separated their mouths only to change angles and kiss her even more perfectly the second time. He smiled when her left arm came up, her hand briefly bumping against his bicep before her arm made it around him, her hand burrowing in his hair, trying to physically move the rest of her body closer but struggling just to maintain her balance and therein having to settle for what contact she could get.

Her mouth opened as she panted but House just moved his lips to her bottom lip, taking it between his and giving it a brief tug because he liked the way he affected her and how quick she was to find herself hungry for more. Cuddy moaned in response, trying to close the distance and find his mouth again, unknowingly amusing him further as he watched her search blindly for his mouth, but then she blinked as if coming down from a high until she was able to recognize he'd intentionally pulled back and was watching her with what she was almost certain testified to affection as she grounded herself again.

"I love you," he repeated before teasing her for what she'd said previously and included, "I even might kinda like you."

Cuddy smiled lopsidedly before she fell back against the bed, stretching out like a cat before giggling.

"You sound like you're high," House commented as he watched her. "I'm good but I'm not _that _good."

"_Oh, but you are_," she moaned, her head flopping to meet his gaze, that inane smile not wavering.

"You're kind of loopy when you're sleep-deprived," he observed before laying back down himself.

They lay there in the dark and the silence of the room and she was just on the verge of falling asleep ten minutes later when House called her name. "Cuddy?"

"Yes?" she asked sleepily.

"It's 4 a.m. If we're going to get a couple hours of sleep, we should probably stop talking," he said seriously.

"Mmm-kay," she replied, her eyes closing once again, kind of having been under the assumption they were done talking for one night anyhow.

House lay there for another moment and then, "Cuddy?"

She moaned before turning her head back towards him, asking despite her closed eyelids, "Uh huh?"

"I didn't have a bad dream and you didn't hear what you heard," he informed her soberly.

"Okay. But then you didn't hear what you heard from me. And you didn't turn me on either," she mumbled back, her eyes remaining closed.

"Deal," he agreed.

"Deal," she repeated to seal it while yawning.

Two minutes passed.

"Cuddy?" he asked, breaking through the fog she'd been sinking into.

"What?" she whined tiredly.

"You didn't say you loved me back," House informed her practically.

Cuddy raised her head slightly in an attempt to peer at him now. "House, I'd already told you twenty times today!"

"Fine," he mumbled, jerking as if he was going to move farther away from her.

But she reached out to grab onto his arm so he couldn't go anywhere and waited until he stilled to say seriously, "I love you too, House."

"I know," he smugly replied, evoking a groan from Cuddy in response at how huge a grin he had to have on his face right now.

"Cuddy?" she heard one more time when she made no further response, having hoped they were genuinely intending to sleep at this point.

"I'm going to kill you House," she threatened, her tone deadly serious. "And that won't be good, because I can't live without you."

"Friends again?" he asked, not taking her threat seriously.

"Unless I kill you," she replied. "But only until I succeed in making you want me. Then our relationship will move _beyond_ friendship."

"Like friends with benefits?" he inquired interestedly.

"No," Cuddy mumbled dryly. "That will _not _be an accurate depiction of our relationship."

"Okay," he agreed after a pause. "And good luck with that."

Cuddy scooted closer to him and he lifted his arm back up in an open invitation for her to restore herself to her earlier position. Her head settled once more on his chest, her arm wrapping back around his waist, and she breathed in the smell of him, having the same thought that was running through House's mind in that moment of how right it felt to lie there with one another, though Cuddy was the only one who would have added to that thought being wrapped up in each other's arms. Then they both fell deep into a peaceful slumber, undisturbed by dreams or nightmares.

* * *

"_**I woke dreaming we had broke**_

_**Dreaming you left me for someone new**_

_**And you cried**_

_**Drying those brown eyes**_

_**Crying you're sorry**_

_**Sorry won't do**_

_**But this is the way I need to wake**_

_**I wake to you and you never left me**_

_**All that I dreamt had been untrue**_

_**Open my eyes**_

_**I see sky**_

_**Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh**_

_**You know the way to keep me on my toes**_

_**I, I, I will be fine**_

_**Just say you'll stay forever mine**_

_**'Til we fall asleep tonight**_

_**Last night we had a great fight**_

_**I fell asleep in a horrible state **_

_**Then dreamt that you loved my best friend**_

_**My heart would not mend**_

_**Seemed it was fate**_

_**But this is the way I need to wake**_

_**I wake to you and you never left me**_

_**All that I dreamt had been untrue**_

_**Open my eyes**_

_**I see sky**_

_**Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh**_

_**You know the way to keep me on my toes**_

_**I, I, I will be fine**_

_**Just say you'll stay forever mine**_

_**'Til we fall asleep tonight**_

_**Sometimes I forget to love you like I should**_

_**(Love you like I should)**_

_**But I'd never leave you**_

_**No, I never would**_

_**I never would**_

_**Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh**_

_**You know the way to keep me on my toes**_

_**I, I, I will be fine**_

_**Just say you'll stay forever mine**_

_**Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh (Oh) (Oh)**_

_**You know the way to keep me on my toes**_

_**(You know)**_

_**(To keep me on my toes)**_

_**I, I, I will be fine**_

_**(I will be fine)**_

_**Just say you'll stay forever mine**_

'_**Til we fall asleep tonight**_

_**'Til we fall asleep tonight"**_

* * *

Song: "Sky" (Joshua Radin & Meiko)


	108. We Are Only Getting Better

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I know. Please don't anyone have a heartache._

_I think to write an insanely detailed story like this, you have to have a real love for the characters. And when they're not your own, as is the case with characters from TV shows, what others do with them can seriously affect you. Because you care too much. So it's taken me about two years to emotionally get to a place where I can actually think about House, M.D. and fulfill my promise to finish this story, not to mention log onto this site. In any case, I'm ready now. I've spent the last month working on this story and working AHEAD specifically, mainly, because I fear if anything causes me to think about ANYTHING that happened after Huddy broke, I might lose my desire to continue this and we'll sit and wait another two years because of it. And I have a promise to keep. Honestly, I haven't watched an ep since... House married. And I REALLY don't want to know what's happened since, though obviously, some details I haven't been able to escape in researching things to check details and try and make sure I have my facts straight. So, this is my plea to not have anyone bring up the last season or so to me, just because I find it really discouraging. And depressing._

_Thanks guys! I'm really surprised people still write and ask for more. But I never intended to break my promise, even if I needed to escape the House universe for a while._

_On a side note, DIYD09, I really wanted to write back but your account no longer allows for PMs so I'm kinda stuck! :( And for the rest of you, this is how long my account has been inactive - ALL but the latest PMs have been wiped out. I don't know if that's because there is a limit or because they get erased after a certain period of time._

_Anyway, here we go again! Thanks for your patience with me!)_

* * *

"Cuddy, we've gotta get up. Come on. Wakey, wakey," she heard House sarcastically mumble from above her head as she slipped more towards consciousness, the hand that was absently stroking her upper arm helping her along some.

She groaned in complaint as she was still tired, her eyes squeezing shut in further protest. But then the sounds of Evie awake and fussing penetrated the fog she was in and she slid her hand from where it lay on House's side to the bed beside him, her thumb pressing in along the way in a reluctant to part final stroke across his t-shirt clad skin and then used it to lever herself up enough to sit upright, calves tucked under her and beside him after having first slid her leg back and off his.

"What time is it?" she managed to ask in a sleep-laced murmur, raking a hand back through her hair before concentrating her attention on him, blinking down at him where he still lay, having been partially draped up until now with her body.

"Seven," he answered in semi-amusement.

She made a sound of discontent in the back of her throat before frowning at him. "What's so funny?" she finally grumbled, still trying to talk herself into remaining awake.

"You look like a raccoon," he commented dryly, pulling himself upright before moving away from her and towards his edge of the bed.

She pouted but then mumbled, "Well, it's not like either of us got much sleep last night."

"And that's not helping," House added after glancing back at her, sticking his chin out in her direction as she rubbed at her eyes causing the remnants of her mascara to further embellish the circles under them.

Cuddy frowned, thinking, trying to remember if she'd taken her makeup off last night or not. But then House turned to get off the bed and her attention switched back to the baby monitor and Evie who was now rattling the rails of her crib in the other room.

"Want me to get her bottle ready? You've got her?" she asked, turning to climb from House's bed as well.

"I've got her," he replied after yawning, raking a hand through his hair and unintentionally leaving it standing every which way before opening the door. "Just… make some coffee while you're heating up a bottle."

Then he was stumbling out of the room and she surprised herself by giggling when she heard his shoulder run into the wall, House grunting in displeasure.

"Shut up. I'm not awake yet," she heard him grumble at her from over his shoulder a second later.

Cuddy laughed at that but didn't bother to follow him, instead detouring to go into the kitchen while he got Evie ready for the day and she did as he asked before making Evie's bottle, first checking to make sure everything was ready before switching on the coffeemaker. She entered Evie's room a couple minutes later to find House just about to exit, a clean and dressed Evie propped up against his shoulder.

Evie started batting at his arm with one hand upon seeing her mommy, excitedly babbling her name.

"You want to feed her or shall I?" Cuddy asked him when Evie reached for her, biting her lip at how disheveled his hair was in the moment, itching to smooth it but choosing to resist the action and leave it alone.

"You take the kid and I'll take a shower. Try and wake up a little," he mumbled, passing Evie off to her.

"Just don't get injured on your way there," she teased in amusement as she changed Evie's position in her arms so as to place the bottle better in her mouth.

House harrumphed but didn't reply and Cuddy's attention shifted from him to their daughter and then briefly back to him when she heard him bump into his dresser a second later, followed by a grumpy mutter which she couldn't decipher before the bathroom door closed behind him. Heading upstairs with the baby and sadly, away from the percolating coffee for the present, she headed into her room and sat down on the bed, one hand smoothing Evie's hair back as she smiled down at her, watching her even as the baby locked gazes with her, reaching up to cover Cuddy's hand on the bottle with her little ones, grasping on, the connection making Cuddy sigh happily.

* * *

House passed Cuddy a mug of coffee once Evie was in her highchair and Rachel at the table. He sent her on her way when she asked if he'd cover the girls for her while she got a quick shower in, forgoing her run as there just wasn't time this morning. When she came back down a half hour later dressed and ready to go, his mind was still on the night before. He watched her absently as she sighed in pleasure over that first sip of coffee, her eyes fluttering closed briefly before she turned to stroke a hand through Evie's hair while talking to Rachel who was playing with her doll on the floor, Cookie Monster loyally beside her, tail swishing back and forth across the floor as he sat attentively, silently begging to be played with.

House realized then that he really did need to get a move on and called for the dog to take him out one last time. Rachel wanted to go too, clearly hoping to play outside, but Cuddy was quick to shoot that down telling her she needed her to do something for mommy. When House reentered the house it was to find Rachel waiting for him, a wide smile on her face and her hands behind her back.

House eyed her and Rachel giggled in response. "What do you have?" he asked her with suspicion.

"It's a present!" she cheerfully announced, rocking back and forth slightly on her feet.

"For who?" he prompted, his mouth pursing, his eyes momentarily leaving Rachel to catch Cuddy's before she looked deeply into her coffee cup, her lips pressing against it but not actually drinking, clearly trying to suppress a smile.

House turned his attention back to Rachel just as she removed the present from behind her back and held it out. "For you, daddy," she sweetly announced, half-skipping his way to give it to him. "It's from us! For your office at work!"

House pursed his lips but accepted the present from her, already guessing it was a picture frame from its shape. "Hmm," he intoned, glancing at her and then to what was now in his hands before casually sticking a finger under the paper to lift the tape and open it.

He didn't even have it open before Rachel said, "It's a picture of us daddy! All of us!"

Cuddy laughed, shaking her head at Rachel's inability to just let him open it without telling him the contents but then looked back to House who was studying the picture in his hands, hoping he'd like it.

Stepping towards him she took the wrapping paper from him to throw it away. "It's from our trip to my sister's house," she unnecessarily explained. "Mom took it and sent it to me. I thought maybe you'd… want to have it at work with you."

House's attention flicked back to her and he gave her a skeptical glance. "Like you have a picture of the four of us on your desk suddenly attracting attention?"

Cuddy bit her lip before pursing her lips and shrugging. "Maybe… something like that," she acknowledged as indifferently as she could.

"You like it daddy? You gonna put it in your office?" Rachel asked hopefully.

House groaned but finally rather reluctantly said, "I do like it, Rach. Yeah. Thanks kid. I'll bring it to work with me today."

"Yea!" Rachel exclaimed, jumping up and down. "He like our picture mommy!"

Cuddy laughed but then bit back a smile before turning away to allow it to bloom, managing to swallow the last of her coffee before placing her cup in the sink. Searching quickly for something to say off-topic she turned back, her expression now controlled to remind, "House, don't forget that we have Trevor's party to go to tomorrow."

He nodded, setting the picture beside his car keys before turning to free Evie from the highchair. "I won't," he acknowledged. "I already picked up a few games for the Xbox Wilson's getting him."

"Okay," she replied, giving him a smile. "Heading out?"

"Yeah," he agreed, glancing about for Evie's diaper bag.

Cuddy stepped around him to grab it and then helped him place it over his shoulder before leaning in to give Evie a kiss, picking up Rachel in the next moment to help get her in his car. Once the kids were buckled in she turned back to him to make sure he'd grabbed his keys. Spotting the picture frame in his hand she bit her lip but then stepped towards him as he shut Evie's door and turned towards her to climb in the front seat.

Using his shoulder as leverage she pushed up on her heels to get to his mouth, pressing a soft kiss there. "Have a great day at work House," she murmured happily before stepping back.

He rolled his eyes but mumbled a "You too," before climbing into the front seat and starting the engine, placing the picture on the seat beside him.

Cuddy shut his door and then waved at the girls as the garage door went up. She watched them until they turned out of the driveway, the garage door beginning to close, and then turned to head back into the house to grab her purse so that she too could be on her way.

* * *

Cameron stared momentarily for the tenth time in the past hour at the new picture House had put on his shelf. Sighing, she shook her head, thankful that he had slipped out and wasn't back yet, giving her time to mull this over. He had his pictures of Evie and later had come pictures of Rachel as well. But this was the first picture of him and the girls _with _Cuddy. And the significance of that wasn't lost on her. For someone who didn't like a lot of change, all the changes his life had undertaken over the course of the last year or so were evident right here in his office. Much as she'd heard Cuddy had done the week before through Chase, it appeared House was now making his family known, represented throughout _his_ office space.

She wasn't so sure how she felt about it.

* * *

July 12th, 2011

"It's just going to be us and Wilson tonight?" Cuddy asked House as he emerged from his room, all ready to go, ignoring the grumpy look he was wearing over the dress she'd just put Evie in, passing her off to him to help Rachel with the sandals she was going to wear with her own cute little sundress.

House shrugged. "They're having a family party on Saturday; lots of out-of-towners who can't come 'til then. But Trevor has a couple friends coming over from chess club I guess and yeah, Wilson will be there but Erika said she also invited Cameron, Chase and Elliot. It might take all of us to distract Rachel from trailing after Trevor and his buddies the whole time," he wryly finished as Rachel took off to say goodbye to Cookie Monster before they all went next door.

"Did you get a chance to ask Cameron if she'd be willing to bring Rachel home on Friday and leave her with Erika 'til I can get home?" Cuddy inquired as she straightened, worrying her lip. They'd discussed it the night before and House had been right in that it sounded like the easiest route to take, allowing Cuddy to keep her meetings Friday afternoon and only slip out early on Thursday when House left for his conference, but if Cameron couldn't, Cuddy wouldn't say she'd be opposed to making other arrangements.

"She's going to get back to me. If she can't we can always see if Wilson or Erika would be willing to pick her up," House suggested.

"We should probably start preparing Rachel for you being gone. Just in case it makes it easier," Cuddy said then, taking Evie back from him and freeing him to pick up Trevor's gifts.

"I've already called Nolan to cancel for tomorrow night so I can be home instead," he volunteered as he turned and headed through the house, Cuddy following him.

She nodded as he came to a stop at the front door and turned back to call for Rachel. Looking him over as they waited for her to come running, Cuddy bit her lip before her hand came up to smooth his shirt over his chest, buttons tickling her palm. "You look nice," she told him softly when his focus turned back to her.

He rolled his eyes. "I don't know why it matters what I wear. Not like there's going to be anyone present I need to impress."

"You can impress me," she offered with a teasing smile.

"Like that's all that hard these days, Miss Can't Keep My Hands to Myself," he muttered back, shaking his head.

Cuddy backhanded his shoulder but then huffed, "It's not like a few hours in slacks and a nice shirt will kill you."

House grunted but opened the door and in that moment Rachel slipped past them making a mad dash for Erika's house having been overly eager to get to the party for the past hour, Cuddy trying to call her back while House locked up. Spotting Wilson already making his way up Erika's walk, his arms overflowing with snacks and two-liters, Cuddy gave up on calling Rachel back and just shook her head, watching as Rachel ran right in the house, Erika already holding the door open as she waited for Wilson, laughing as Rachel scrambled inside already calling Trevor's name.

"You get to be the bad cop today and get after Rachel for…" she started to say only to be interrupted.

"You look amazing," House quietly said, his eyes tracing over her for a full minute before dropping to the floor, disconcerted with his own compliment and the obvious intensity with which she had held his attention once he'd finally been drawn in to checking her out, sunlight now kissing her bare shoulders as they left the porch.

Cuddy sucked in a breath, her head whipping around to look at him in time to see the way he was looking at her as she came to an abrupt stop, eyes widening in shock. She glanced down at herself, not seeing it at all. Yes, she'd changed into a particularly girly pink summer dress that she'd bought while shopping with her sister, one that Julia had talked her into purchasing with the thinnest of straps which crisscrossed behind her leaving her back exposed, her arms bare, the waist cinched in decoratively and which came down to flirt about mid-thigh, swishing slightly with her movement but… it wasn't exactly something she'd bought with House in mind. Honestly, she hadn't thought he'd even notice it and in part that was why she'd come so close to returning it to the shelf in the first place. It wasn't… _sensual_. Just slightly flirtyand decidedly feminine, in a soft way that she didn't expect to catch House's attention_. _But… if he was going to look at her like that she'd let her sister talk her into buying _anything_ Julia thought she should take a chance on, just in hopes that she'd get House to look at her as he just had, in open admiration once again.

Color flooded her cheeks and her eyes fluttered shut momentarily before she drew in a breath, reaching her free hand out to catch his hand, hoping he'd let her, her fingers wrapping around and tucking into his palm, grasping his hand in hers as she wordlessly started walking towards Erika's, House almost docile in how he followed her, not looking at her directly but from the corner of his eye, noting the flush in her cheeks and suddenly feeling good about himself in that he'd put it there via a genuine compliment he had been unable to restrain from leaving his lips.

"Thank you," Cuddy finally murmured, stealing a glance at him before gently squeezing his hand, her chest still tight from his attention.

Suddenly realizing they were holding hands House looked up searching to make sure no one could see them only to find Erika watching him with amusement from her front steps, arms crossed over her chest as if to say "Gotcha!" before she laughed and dropped her arms to turn towards the front door and reply to whoever was speaking to her from within the house. It made him feel like a schoolboy.

Worried Wilson was about to step outside House gently pulled his hand free from Cuddy's after only a moment more as if to adjust the packages and Evie's diaper bag, which actually had begun to slip from his shoulder. Cuddy covered for her momentary disappointment by focusing on Evie, reaching up to tuck a lock of hair behind the baby's ear before her attention was drawn to a car pulling up in Erika's drive marking the arrival of Cameron and Chase. Maybe it was better that he'd pulled away when he had, she acknowledged internally.

"Hey guys!" Erika greeted them then as they arrived at her front door. "You both look wonderful! Trev's inside with his friends but he's been looking forward to your arrival all day. I think Rachel's with him, _although_ she might be in the kitchen with James. He's in charge of cookies after all." Laughing momentarily, she eagerly reached for Evie. "Now pass that baby on to me," she declared, gesturing them inside after taking Evie from Cuddy, talking to the baby while she waited for Chase and Cameron to retrieve Elliot and head her way.

House detoured into the kitchen to greet Wilson, Cuddy following him to say hello before stepping away to track down Rachel and wish Trevor a happy birthday at the same time.

House walked in not long after her and Trevor's attention immediately locked on him. "Did you get me a birthday present House?" he asked eagerly, practically bouncing with excitement.

"What? It's your birthday?" House replied in surprise, a deep frown etching its way across his features.

"You _know _it is!" Trevor exclaimed, his friends now looking at House with interest as well.

"Huh," House mused thoughtfully. "No one mentioned it to me."

Cuddy rolled her eyes when Trevor appeared to be second-guessing whether or not House had known and then said, "Don't let him fool you. We definitelycame over here with presents."

Trevor's face split into a wide grin and House shook his head wryly before saying, "Happy birthday kid. But no presents untilafter I get some birthday cake and ice cream."

Trevor promised him he'd make sure House got his cake and then turned back to his friends. Cuddy reached for Rachel to keep her from interrupting the boys at play and picked her up to go see if Erika was still alright with Evie while House headed off in another direction hearing Chase now with Wilson in the kitchen.

Cuddy found Evie and Erika with Cameron and Elliot and greeted Cameron before asking Erika, "Do you want me to take her?"

"Do you want to take Elliot?" Cameron surprised her by hesitantly offering before Erika could reply. "He's getting hungry. I brought a bottle for him but I need to warm it up."

Cuddy's eyes widened imperceptibly at the offer since she honestly hadn't expected to be invited to hold the baby for a _very _long time yet, but when Erika nodded to urge her on she reached out to accept the two-month-old baby, biting her lip as she stared down at him. Cameron walked away in the direction of the kitchen after glancing back to make sure Elliot would be okay, Rachel tagging along beside her reaching up to take Cameron's hand, the two chatting away then, leaving Cuddy and Erika alone with the two babies after Cuddy called after Rachel to urge her to track daddy down and see what he was up to.

"You look lovely," Erika said then. "And Evie and Rachel are simply darling in their dresses. But I don't know how you got House to come dressed as he is," she added with a laugh.

Cuddy smiled but said, "Don't look at me. That was Wilson's doing I think. House called him to find out for me what the dress code was, just in case. I'm surprised he listened to him. You look great," she added then. "The cut of your dress is very flattering and the color is perfect for you too."

"Thank you. I know it's just us but I thought it would be fun to dress up for once," Erika acknowledged with pleasure before following Cuddy's eyes to the baby in her arms. "Is it hard to hold him?" she hesitantly asked before clarifying, "Having missed out on Evie at that age?"

Cuddy worried her lip in thought but then shook her head, thinking it was probably harder because of who his parents were and how she assumed they felt about her, though she wouldn't say that and was still thrown by Cameron entrusting Elliot to her in the first place. Meeting Erika's gaze she admitted, "It's easier than I thought it would be… And just different. Maybe it helps that I've had the last few months with Evie to… try and make up for lost time. I think maybe I'm… more accepting of what I cannot go back and change."

Erika nodded as Evie started to babble happily in her arms, one fist in her mouth, drawing both of their attention to her as Cuddy reached out and affectionately stroked Evie's cheek before her attention shifted back to Elliot and she smiled at the baby who was staring up at her in deep concentration.

"Is Wilson going to the family party on Saturday?" Cuddy inquired curiously then, adjusting Elliot slightly in her arms, getting accustomed to the weight difference between him and her own daughter.

Erika cringed slightly before admitting, "He wants to. But… I'm just not sure. Ben's parents will be there. I'm not sure that I'm ready to publically announce that I'm dating someone. I mean, I don't intend to keep him a secret or anything, but to actually have him there… And we really haven't been together _that _long yet. It feels really early for that. I… just don't know. If it was just my family then I'd be more comfortable with it. But I don't want to hurt Ben's parents' feelings. I don't want them to feel like…"

"Like you're replacing their son," Cuddy finished for her sympathetically when Erika's words trailed off.

"Yeah," Erika agreed, shrugging almost apologetically.

"I can understand that," Cuddy murmured. "And I'm sure Wilson does as well."

"I hope so. I don't mean to hurt his feelings. I just want to be careful of everyone else's too," Erika murmured as Cameron came back with Elliot's bottle, taking the baby back from Cuddy so that she could feed him.

"I hope everyone's hungry," Erika said then, sending a smile Cameron's way. "I think James went a little overboard at the grocery store for me. I asked him to pick up an extra bag of chips and a couple extra drinks just in case and he came back with half a convenience store."

Cameron laughed, Elliot contentedly drinking his bottle now and then the three of them just started to make their way in the direction of the guys and the kitchen without any conscious thought.

When they entered and House glanced their way, Rachel holding his hand with one of her own where she stood beside him twisting and turning about, the other hand currently holding what remained of the cookie she was eating, Cameron looked from him to Cuddy before saying, "House, it looks like Chase made dinner reservations for us Friday night. Would it work out for me to just bring Rachel to PPTH and drop her off with Cuddy there?"

House looked at Cuddy, who nodded. "Works for her," he agreed.

"Okay," Cameron replied. "Great."

"Looks like you're off the hook," House said to Erika then. "You can go out with that other guy you're seeing. The better looking and smarter one," he joked, semi-amused with himself.

"Shh," she replied with an eye roll. "I don't want James to know about him. I've got things just how I like them and don't want that to change."

It was Wilson's turn to roll his eyes, directing his attention to Evie in the next moment. "Ha ha ha," he dryly mumbled before saying, "Pass my niece this way," still shaking his head as he accepted the baby from Erika.

* * *

July 13th, 2011

"Got a minute?" Cuddy asked from his doorway Wednesday night after checking in on Rachel who was now asleep upstairs, leaning against the frame, one arm at her side while the other was folded behind her.

He was in the midst of throwing his stuff in a bag for the weekend and he instantly paused, looking up at her before he nodded.

She pushed off the doorframe taking a few steps into his room, her arms at her sides, what appeared to be a couple file folders in one hand. He watched as her arm came up, her opposite hand separating the files so that she had one in each.

Cuddy pursed her mouth as she held out the two files towards him.

"What are those?" he asked, an eyebrow quirking as he eyed her but made no move to take them, though he did shove the socks he'd had in his fist into the bag, freeing his hand up. "Difficult case? You asking for a consult? Because I…"

Cuddy shook her head to dispel that idea. "_This,_" she emphasized, lifting the file in her left hand into the air, "is the amendment I'm making to my will. It basically just states that in the event that something happens to me my wish is that you would be Rachel's guardian. It also explains my reasons so that if I die the judge will understand my reasoning and hopefully honor my wishes. You don't really have to read it but in any case, I need to know that you're okay with this. And I'll want you to have a copy of my will amongst your things, just in case, once it's been altered."

House was staring at her in surprise but she ignored that, wanting to get this out there. Dropping that hand a little she lifted the file in her right, her eyes locked on his. "_This _is the paperwork we need to fill out to begin the process of you adopting Rachel as a second-parent. Since we aren't married, this is the route to take. You have some decisions to make and a few days away to think about what you really want. Or at least to start to. I'm not trying to push you, House. And you're the only one who can decide this. But I think you know what you really want and what Rachel would want. But going back to the will thing, at the very least you need to think about what you'd want if something were ever to happen to me. As it stands my mom is listed as Rachel's guardian should I die. We both know she's not going to take Rachel from you. But I want to change it anyway just in case something were to happen to her."

"Nothing's going to happen to you anyway, Cuddy," he was quick to negate.

"You don't know that, House," she countered pointedly, shaking her head.

His eyes remained on hers, the room feeling unnaturally hushed for a moment as if the walls were also awaiting his response. He pursed his mouth but glanced at the files only to look back up at her. "If you want to look at it that way," he argued, "I could adopt her and keel over dead the next day from a heart attack."

The corner of Cuddy's mouth rose as her eyes twinkled and he gave her a deadpan look before asking, "You find that amusing?"

"Considering your complicated medical history I find it a little hard to believe something as simple as a heart attack would do it. You prefer creativity. And anyway, with the number of close calls you've had I think the odds are in favor of your resilience," she dryly teased.

"That isn't a logical argument," House said, though he pronounced it with an unsuppressed half-smirk. "If anything you should conclude I've probably used up all my free escape-from-the-grim-reaper passes."

Cuddy moved her mouth about as she thought about that and then realized she didn't _want _to think about it. She didn't need to win this argument anyway to get her point across. Tilting her head down she stared at him a second before quietly murmuring, "Then should that happen, at least Rachel will know you loved her enough to want to claim her as yours."

"Cuddy," he immediately replied with resignation. "You know that's not what's holding me back."

"I know that," she agreed easily, nodding. "But would Rachel? Would she know it without a doubt?"

House huffed out a breath, tilting his head to the side to give her a pointed look. "So now I should adopt her in case I die shortly?"

Cuddy exhaled as well, her shoulders falling as she brought her hands together to adjust the files into one hand before she walked to him and sat down on the bed beside him. Then she shook her head. "I just…" she began before moistening her lips. "I want this. For both of you," she emphasized. "You're her dad. I know that. You know that. _She _knows that. But… I want the rest of the world to know that. I think it's important. And really House, we're not _that _far away from her starting school. I want… I _don't _want anyone ever upsetting her by negating the significance of your relationship or to make her think your relationship with her doesn't carry the same kind of weight that your relationship with Evie does. And maybe that doesn't seem like something to worry about but… here's another way to look at things. You probably won't be allowed to sign her permission slips or forms, teachers will have to jump through appropriate channels to communicate with you, if she gets sick and you need to go pick her up, they might not let you sign her out because you aren't technically a relative... And _eventually _Rachel _will_ reach an age where she understands that you're Evie's dad but not legally hers. _That's_ going to cause issues. Potentially issues between Rachel and Evie as well. And really, what is there to wait for? She's already made her decision."

"She's too young to decide," he instantly mumbled, frowning and looking away.

"She didn't have a choice at all with me," Cuddy reminded him promptly.

House looked at her but didn't say anything and she figured she'd just go with his line of thought then and see where it really went in his mind.

"Well, how old does she have to be? When she's five and wants this she'll still be too young in your opinion, right? When she's eight? Thirteen? _Fifteen?_ You going to wait until she's eighteen? Legally an adult? House, it's not about Rachel being old enough to judge what's in her best interests. It's also not about weighing the pros and cons. There _are _no cons. And anyway, this is about love. _Not _worthiness, in which you judge yourself too harshly. This is about what she wants, maybe even needs, and what _you_ are willing to commit to. You don't fall short, House. So will you commit to her like you're committed to Evie?"

"I _am _committed to her," he testily replied, his brow knitting.

"Okay," she accepted lightly. "But will you commit yourself to her on paper? Will you do it so that she has that proof?"

"I'll think about it," he relented somberly, knowing she wouldn't quit arguing her case even if she had to list every virtue she found in him until he gave her that much.

"That's all I ask," she accepted, placing the two files on his bed before pushing herself off it.

He stared at the files for a second, his mouth quirking in thought, but then redirected his gaze to her as she headed for the door.

"I always kinda figured I'd prefer to go out with a bang, maybe following some really great sex," he quipped quietly then, semi-provokingly.

Cuddy froze in the doorway but laughed after a moment as she glanced back at him over her shoulder. "You better not," she drolly mumbled then. "Can you imagine how traumatizing that would be _for me?_ And how would I explain that to anyone, let alone the girls? 'I'm sorry I killed your father but… what a way to go?' Or 'we just couldn't keep our hands off each other. Sorry I rocked his world and blew his mind'?"

He choked out an astonished laugh at her unexpected response and then smiled wryly but made no comment. After a minute her expression changed as she frowned, worrying her lip. Turning around completely she slowly made her way back to him and House stared at her as her hand came to rest over his heart, feeling it beat beneath her palm before her other hand came up to stroke his jaw.

"House, I know we're just… friends at the moment," she murmured then, searching his eyes. "That's mainly why I haven't brought up Sunday night or our conversation since then and why every night I sleep upstairs instead of asking to sleep in here with you like I'd like to. But… to be honest, I don't want to think about you leaving me. I… I need to be prepared for the 'what ifs' for Rachel's sake but… I want another fifty years with you, at least. Even if it's only ever as my best friend and the father of my children."

"Fifty's a bit of a stretch," he dryly replied once he was able to, smiling at her outrageous petition nevertheless, if he could call it that. "_Maybe _twenty-five."

"_No._ And that's just tough," she sternly determined, lowering her face to his in order to peck his lips briefly. "Fifty minimum is the only option I'm giving you. And you know how relentless I am when there's something I want."

House rolled his eyes but the dorky smile he was giving her never wavered. "I really will think about it, Cuddy," he promised then in reference to the files, nodding solemnly.

"Okay. Then I'll content myself with that," she agreed, dropping her hand from his chest before almost shyly stealing one more kiss from him, turning to leave him to his packing.

"Night Cuddy," he said softly as she made to leave.

"Night House," she responded while casting a glance back at him over her shoulder, a tender smile on her lips. "Sleep well."

House watched her leave and then glanced back at the folders on his bed beside him. Releasing a breath he tucked them into the bottom of his bag and then got up to grab what he'd need from the bathroom during the time he'd be away.

* * *

July 14th, 2011

Cuddy pushed her chair back and got up from her desk as House entered her office with Rachel and Evie, setting Rachel's things down on the couch before passing Evie to Cuddy as her arms were already outstretched to take her.

"You're sure you're okay with Rachel being here?" House inquired as Rachel climbed up on Cuddy's couch. "I don't think you'll be able to get much work done."

"Oh. Yeah. I don't really intend to stay for much longer. I was actually thinking maybe we could go with you to the airport and see you off," she suggested, biting her lip as she awaited his response.

House shook his head. "Wouldn't be much point. They won't let you pass through security without a ticket anymore and we'd be taking separate cars anyway since I'm leaving mine in long-term parking."

Cuddy pouted but he had a point. "Okay. Well then we'll just walk you to your car, I guess."

House's eyes roamed her office as he nodded and then stopped for a moment upon her desk, a small smirk curling up the corners of his mouth.

"What?" Cuddy inquired, looking behind her at her desk to try and figure out what he was looking at.

"Nothing," he replied easily, reaching to pick Rachel up and hold her one last time before he left for the weekend.

"Daddy, I not want you to go 'way. I want you to read me a story an' tuck me in tonight," Rachel whined, her own little lips in a pout as she patted his cheeks.

"Daddy has to go, Rach, but mommy will be home to read to you and tuck you in. And I'll call you tomorrow and maybe mommy will call me tomorrow night on the computer so we can talk with the camera like you do with grandma," House offered.

"We'll do that," Cuddy agreed, reaching up to stroke Rachel's cheek as she nodded. "And daddy and Evie will be home soon."

"But how come Ebie get to go with daddy?" Rachel asked unhappily.

"Because Evie isn't used to not being with daddy and I want some time with my big girl, just the two of us," Cuddy was quick to say, saving House from making a mess of things as he really had no idea how to answer Rachel.

"They'll be back in a few days, Rachel. And in the meantime you, me and Cookie Monster will have fun together," she added before reaching for the door to open it, knowing that House didn't have a lot of time to get to the airport and through security before his flight left.

"I'll call you tomorrow morning before you go to daycare, Rachel," House promised, knowing that he'd be unable to call tonight before she went to bed.

"Okay daddy," she murmured with resignation, leaning into him and wrapping her arms around his neck, tucking her head up against his chest.

House had already promised to call her when he arrived at his mother's so Cuddy didn't remind him, not wanting Rachel to be disappointed that she wouldn't be able to talk with him later on. "You have everything you need? Packed enough diapers and outfits? Formula?" she double-checked, stepping through the main entrance when House held the door open for her.

"Yeah," he replied. "We should be good. If not I'll just swing by a store and buy whatever we don't have."

Cuddy nodded. "You think she'll be alright with your mom during the conference?" she asked somewhat doubtfully regarding Evie.

"She'll be fine," he reassured. "But my mom will have both of our numbers, just in case. And if Friday ends up going terribly I'll just… figure a way to take Evie with me on Saturday to the conference. She'll be fine though, Cuddy. Don't worry."

Cuddy bit her lip but sighed as they came to a stop beside his car. "Did you talk to Gerta?" she asked then.

House gave her an inquiring look, his brows drawn together as he tried to recall why he was to talk to Gerta. "About my sheets?" he finally asked dubiously.

Cuddy just nodded, pressing kisses to Evie's head as the baby giggled up at her.

"Cuddy, she comes Saturday. Even if she washes them it's only one night in your own bed," he drolly mumbled.

"House…"

"Just tell her not to wash them when she comes. Or… _hide them _if it makes you feel better and saves you from explaining. I don't see why you care about my sheets anyway," he dryly ended, giving her an eye roll.

Cuddy pouted but wasn't about to explain herself again in this one. When House opened the door to the backseat she reluctantly bent to place Evie within her car seat, giving her extra kisses and double-checking the buckle before straightening.

Rachel was giggling as House rubbed his scruff against her neck but when Cuddy reached for her she quickly threw herself into her daddy, hugging him as tightly as she could. "Love you daddy," she murmured into his neck.

"Love you too, kid," House responded, a hand stroking down her back one last time.

"Kisses," she immediately exclaimed, drawing away but cupping his cheeks with her hands, her lips puckered and head lifted up to receive him.

House smirked slightly but then turned further away from PPTH before giving her the kiss she'd asked for, then passing her off to Cuddy.

"Is it my turn?" Cuddy asked, worrying her lip as she waited for his response.

House rolled his eyes again. "Seriously? In the parking lot? Am I not to leave with any of my pride intact?"

"Well, you don't have to if you don't want to," Cuddy murmured quietly, glancing away from him and back to Evie in the car.

House huffed out a breath but then surprised Cuddy when he pulled her to him, Cuddy gasping as she collided unexpectedly into his chest before House brought his hand up her upper arm from where he'd initially latched onto her to then bring the fingers of one hand to gently touch down upon her jawline, House angling his head to catch her lips in a brief kiss that was still enough to draw a sigh from Cuddy afterwards, eyes fluttering open.

"I love you, House. Hurry back to us," she softly whispered almost against his lips then, her hand stroking his upper arm when he finally released her before she stepped back to allow him to go around to his door and climb in.

She watched and waited with Rachel as he started the engine and pulled out of his parking spot but then he paused and rolled down his window and she bit back a smile, wondering what he'd forgotten.

"You should really look under your desk sometime, Cuddy," he just said, a slight smirk curling up one corner of his mouth before he rolled his window back up and drove off.

Cuddy stared after him in confusion, Rachel leaning into her as if sleepy but perhaps just melancholy before she turned to head back inside, wondering what that was supposed to mean.

* * *

She should have known better than to think she'd actually be able to leave shortly. Cuddy had barely stepped back inside PPTH with Rachel when the front desk paged her with a problem in the pharmacy. Hesitant to leave Rachel with anyone, she'd just taken her with. And once she'd finished there she set her up in her office only to spend thirty minutes on the phone with a drug rep, trying to keep Rachel occupied until she could end the call.

She was just about to leave her office for the night with Rachel when what House had said came back to her. She should really look under her desk sometime? What was _that _supposed to mean? House hadn't even been by her desk in the time he'd been in her office today. So…

Helpless to do anything _but _investigate, she flipped the overhead light back on and set Rachel back down on the couch and then approached her desk, bending over to look under the edge at first before she then just gave up on that to get down on the floor and crawl about her desk, searching for _what_, she didn't know. She'd made it to the back, Rachel now watching her in curiosity, when her eyes narrowed and she actually crawled under to try and distinguish what she was seeing. There was something written there in permanent marker. Scooting closer and further under her desk she tried to make out what it said without much light to distinguish what was written from the whorls in the wood. In the end she just pulled out her cellphone and touched the screen so it would light up enough to give her the light she needed.

"_I want it to go somewhere._" And then underneath it, _"Not screwing with you. H REALLY likes C._"

Cuddy accidentally banged her head against the desk as she suddenly tried to sit up straight, rubbing her head after crawling out, Rachel looking at her funny while Cuddy tried to process when House would have…

When he gave it to her, she realized then. When he had the desk brought out of storage and refurbished before having it placed in her office. When she'd said that everybody knew what was between them was going somewhere.

She hadn't seen it; hadn't _read _it before. And maybe that was because House had wanted it that way. He'd written it knowing there was a slim chance she _might _see it but that in all likelihood she'd be completely oblivious to the message's presence, unless she was to stumble upon it by accident maybe while retrieving something that had fallen to the floor, perhaps. And yet all that time it would be there, day in and day out while she sat working at her desk, unaware of the message he'd left her, while House came and went from her office back when he'd still worked at PPTH, the only one to know and be reminded, every time he approached her desk.

So… why _now? _He could have told her back when it had come up after his mom's visit when so much of their dirty laundry had been aired. Yet he hadn't. Now… he'd pointed her in that direction. And it certainly wasn't to make her feel bad or bury her under old regrets. Not with how he'd gotten her to discover it. So then…

Cuddy sat back on her calves, the toes of her high heels digging into the carpet in a way that really wasn't good for them as her eyes widened and her heart pounded. He'd just been… reinforcing the fact that he still wants "it" to go somewhere, this thing between them, she realized. Perhaps that he doesn't just love her or even like her as he'd hedged on admitting Sunday night, well, what was technically Monday morning but… _really _likes her. Cuddy swallowed hard, finding her hand against her chest as she blinked at Rachel who was still waiting for her with Baby G in her arms. House really likes her, she thought then. _Really _likes her. Biting on her lip, she took one last peek at what he'd written and then reluctantly forced herself to her feet before she could do her shoes any more damage.

"Mommy, can we go see Cookie Monster now?" Rachel asked then, looking up at her hopefully.

"Yeah baby," she agreed breathily, smoothing out her skirt before releasing a shaky breath as she trailed her hand tenderly along the edge of her desk, biting her lip momentarily. "Yeah. Let's go home."

* * *

"How was the flight?" Cuddy softly inquired when House called that night, not wanting to wake Rachel who was sleeping beside her.

"It was alright," he said tiredly, rubbing his face with one hand before adding, "I'm glad we flew first class though. All the same I don't think I ever want to fly by myself with a kid again. She was good but… between my stuff and hers it was nerve-wracking, going through security and then in getting situated on the plane. No thanks."

Cuddy smiled, reaching over to slide a lock of hair behind Rachel's ear and off her face. "What's she doing right now?" she asked him then.

"Drinking her bottle. I think she's almost down for the count," he informed her.

Cuddy leaned back against the pillows and stretched her legs out under the sheets before asking, "What did your mom have to say?"

House groaned before mumbling, "She's excited; has plans to show Evie off tomorrow while I'm stuck in conferences. Some of her friends are going to swing by the house. And she made dinner reservations for tomorrow night. Wants us to meet David for dinner. I don't know."

"What's your schedule like for the conference?" she queried next, recognizing she probably sounded silly, asking him about every little thing, but wanting to know each detail regardless.

"I'll be here at the house until about 10:30. I'll arrive there in time for lunch and I've got a session immediately after, another at 3. If I'm lucky I'll be back at the house by 5:30. My mom made reservations for an hour later. Saturday I have a session at 9, another at 11 that I have to be present at but not as a speaker. I'm going to come back to the house for lunch and then return for a 3 o'clock session. Then there's a panel discussion I have to attend at 5 but I should be free to go by 7," House concluded.

Cuddy didn't say anything for a minute but finally sighed softly. "If you were still working for me I wouldn't make you go," she murmured, a slight pouty edge to her tone communicating to House how she felt about him being so far away if her words weren't sufficient.

House harrumphed but then corrected, "That's a lie. You'd make me go. You'd just come with to keep me on my best behavior."

She smiled then, rolling over onto her back to stare at the ceiling before she acknowledged, "That's true. But you don't really seem to need anyone to make you behave these days so it would just be an excuse to be there with you."

"I would if I was still working for you," he dryly replied. "You're fun to antagonize."

Cuddy laughed softly at that and sighed once more into the phone, turning her head once more to look at Rachel while she contemplated how easily he'd said what he just had.

"How'd it go with Rachel?" House asked then, as if he could see her looking at Rachel in that moment.

"Okay actually," she replied, kind of surprised, herself. "I kept her pretty busy though. She's sleeping next to me; conked out while watching the first half of The Little Mermaid."

"Where are you?" he inquired next and from the sound of his voice she could tell he was already pretty sure of the answer and amused accordingly.

"You know where I am," she admitted in a whisper without actually verbalizing it, her smile coming across the wire in her tone as she shifted slightly now to be on her side facing away from Rachel, drawing a leg partway up to be more comfortable.

"What are you wearing?" he asked her gruffly then, evoking a surprised but breathy laugh from her lips.

"Ask me again when our daughters aren't present with us and when the answer will lead to us finding mutual satisfaction," she teased him gently, biting her lip afterwards as she awaited his reply. His answer didn't come immediately but when it did her chest contracted in response.

"I will," he surprised her by agreeing in a quiet but serious murmur before saying resignedly, "Evie's out. I should probably say goodnight and let you get some sleep too."

"Okay," she reluctantly whispered back, forcing her thoughts away from what he'd just agreed to someday do. "But you'll call in the morning? Rachel's looking forward to it."

"Yeah, I'll call," he confirmed, Cuddy biting her lip again when his words were followed by a yawn that carried right across the phone line to her.

They were both silent for a moment, neither one in any rush to end the connection.

"House," Cuddy finally murmured. "We're going to be alright. Aren't we? I mean, we _are _alright but… Things can only get better. Right?" she inquired, her free hand running over her other arm soothingly as she waited hopefully for his confirmation that he felt as she did.

"Yeah Cuddy," he finally said after another minute of silence between them had passed, something in him needing to give her the assurance she was asking him for while understanding that she wasn't referring to sex, per se, nor necessarily worried about where they were, relationship-wise. "We're going to be fine. We just need… some more time. That's all."

"Okay," she accepted, her smile at his reassurance carrying across the distance to him. "Good night House. Give Evie a kiss for me and… sleep well."

"You too, Cuddy," he replied just as quietly. "Night."

"Night," she whispered, waiting for the connection to be broken by House before hanging up, turning back to press a kiss to Rachel's forehead for him, even if he hadn't specifically asked her to.

They just needed time, she repeated to herself. That was all. There'd be no going back. Only forward motion. They'd be fine. And things would only get better.

* * *

"_**Say, we'll run away**_

_**When things get better, better than today  
Blind, leading blind**_

_**Never knowing, what we'll find**_

_**Where are we going? Who are we now?**_  
_**Let's decide**_

_**This time you've got to make up your mind**_  
_**This life you're living**_  
_**This time you've got to make up your mind**_  
_**This life's worth living**_

_**Get up, we've got a ways to go**_

_**We... are only getting better**_  
_**Where we were then doesn't matter**_

_**Lately everything is hazy, but I know what's true**_  
_**Lately everyone seems crazy, but I believe in you**_

_**Sun shines in the eyes, of those who know how to leave the past behind**_

_**This time you've got to make up your mind**_  
_**This life you're living**_  
_**This time you've got to make up your mind**_  
_**This life's worth living**_

_**Get up, we've got a ways to go**_

_**We... are only getting better**_  
_**Where we were then doesn't matter**_

_**Lately everything seems hazy, but I know what's true**_  
_**Lately everyone seems crazy, but I believe in you!**_

_**This time you've got to make up your mind**_  
_**This life's worth living**_

_**Get up, we've got a ways to go**_

_**We... are only getting better**_  
_**Where we were then doesn't matter**_

_**Lately everything seems hazy, but I know what's true**_  
_**Lately everyone seems crazy, but I believe in you!**__**"**_

* * *

Song: "We Are Only Getting Better" (Joshua Radin)


	109. Feels Like Home

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

July 15th, 2011

Cuddy paused only long enough to verify it was House calling before passing the phone into Rachel's eager little hands, watching her grip it in both before practically squealing in delight.

"_Daddy!_ You missin' me? I missin' you _so much!_"

Cuddy bit her lip, her heart swelling with emotion at her daughter's joy in having her daddy call her. Turning, she kept one eye on Rachel but directed the rest of her attention to washing Rachel's cereal bowl and cup, setting them aside to dry afterwards before wiping her hands on a dishtowel and turning to finish her coffee.

She couldn't hear House's responses but there was no missing Rachel's happiness as she told him all that they'd done the night before after getting home from mommy's work and how she'd slept in his bed with mommy.

"Rachel, mommy wants to talk to daddy before you hang up, okay?" Cuddy reminded her a minute later, not wanting her to hang up before Cuddy could steal a minute more of his time.

"Love you lots daddy! Miss you!" Rachel told him one last time before she gave the phone to her mommy like daddy told her to, after they were done talking.

"Hey," she softly murmured into the phone, running her fingers through Rachel's hair before the little girl ran off to find her baby doll. "How'd you sleep?"

House rolled his eyes on the other end but a smile tugged one corner of his mouth up. "Fine. Wanna talk to your other kid?" he asked as Evie's now empty bottle popped out of her mouth and he set it aside to burp her.

"Yeah, put her on," Cuddy anxiously accepted, nodding as if he could see her.

"Here she is," he said, before she heard him say, "Evie, talk to mommy."

A string of mama's then came across the line and Cuddy sighed before saying, "Hey sweet baby girl! Mommy misses you! How are you?"

Just then Evie burped right into the phone and Cuddy's eyes shut briefly as she cringed before she groaned her amusement, delighting then in the sound of House's deep laugh which was followed by a giggle from Evie who shortly afterwards segued back into a chant of mama.

"Are you being good for daddy, baby girl?" she couldn't help but ask the baby, continuing a mostly one-way conversation. "Did you sleep well last night? Mommy missed tucking you in. Are you going to spend some time with grandma today and meet some of her friends? Is she going to show them what a beautiful baby girl you are? Mommy's sweet little angel?"

Random buttons were pushed and then there was a clunk, Evie starting to cry immediately afterwards and Cuddy could hear House trying to calm her while he readjusted her in his arms and fiddled with the phone, eventually settling it in between his shoulder and ear, Evie still crying but not as forcefully.

"What happened?" she asked him when she could hear him breathing and then hushing the baby, her brows drawing together in concern.

"She clobbered herself in the head with the phone when I tried to readjust it so she wouldn't disconnect the call by accident," he dryly pronounced before asking, "You guys about to head out?"

"Yeah," she acknowledged. "I just have to take Cookie Monster out one last time and then we'll be going. How'd Evie sleep last night?"

"Fine," House replied. "I kept her with me. Set up the Pack 'n Play my mom actually bought for her and had her in that; slept the whole night like a trooper."

"I'm glad," Cuddy murmured. "It sounds like she's in a good mood anyway. Hopefully she'll be a perfect sweetheart while you're gone."

"Here's hoping," House responded before yawning into the phone.

"Are you going to survive _your _day?" she asked him then, the teasing lilt to her words drawing a slight smile to House's lips.

"Ugh. I hate conferences," he muttered in annoyance, a look of disgust crossing his face as his thoughts shifted to the day he had ahead of him.

"I know you do," she murmured sympathetically.

House snorted but then semi-derisively mumbled, "Where was all this sympathy to the cause when I tried to get out of attending conferences years ago?"

Cuddy didn't verbally respond, just laughing at him.

"I don't think you feel for me here. I think you're just responding to the reality that Evie's along for the ride and not home with you," he grumbled.

"Hey, I miss both of my babies," she countered teasingly. "Both the happy one and the currently whinier one."

"I'm _not _your baby," House moodily retorted before huffing and mumbling, "You're going to be late if you don't hurry up and leave."

Cuddy sighed but knew he was right. "Call me if you get bored?" she asked hopefully.

It took him a minute but finally he mumbled a "yeah."

"House?" she hesitantly began.

"Don't get all sappy on me, Cuddy," he was quick to drolly admonish.

She rolled her eyes but bit her lip before murmuring, "Give Evie a kiss for me then."

"Got it," he agreed, Evie breaking into giggles in the next moment as he buzzed her neck with his lips. "Anything else?" he asked afterwards.

"No, that's it," she reluctantly replied, not wanting to disconnect the call.

"'Kay," House said. "Talk to you later."

"Bye House," Cuddy said softly, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear as she waited once more for the connection to come to an end.

"I… love you Cuddy," House surprised her by mumbling almost hesitantly from out of the blue.

"Oh, House," she responded tenderly after she'd recovered from his words before quickly moistening her lips in a rush to say, "Me too," before the dial tone could come.

"Skype us tonight," he concluded, the connection ending in the next second.

Cuddy returned the phone to the cradle, leaning against the counter for a second, deep in thought before she remembered that they really did need to leave or she'd be late getting to work. Pushing herself from the counter she called Cookie Monster to take him outside one last time before collecting her and Rachel's things to leave the house.

* * *

House hadn't called her all day long and while that had been disappointing, he had responded to her texts, keeping her up-to-date on how Evie was and how his sessions were going. Cuddy had called to check in with Ruth but Rachel seemed to have survived the day just fine, even without House's visit. It sounded like Cameron had swung in to check on her at lunchtime with Elliot, a particularly kind act Cuddy thought.

Now she waited for Cameron to show up with her, having concluded her last meeting forty-five minutes ago, basically ready to go but working on one last file anyway.

Just then she heard Rachel's voice and looked up to see Cameron approaching her office with Elliot and Rachel. Getting up from her desk she walked around it in time for Cameron to open the door, allowing Rachel to run on in and into Cuddy's arms as she squatted down to receive her.

"Hey sweet girl!" she exclaimed as she hugged Rachel close. "How was your day?" she asked when Rachel released her and leaned back, allowing Cuddy opportunity to brush the hair out of Rachel's eyes, tucking it behind an ear.

"Good mommy! I made noodle necklaces today!" she announced, leaning her head back, one hand coming up to finger the necklace about her neck, a bright smile on her face.

"That's beautiful, baby," she murmured affectionately before straightening, her attention shifting to Cameron.

"Thank you so much for being willing to bring her here for me, Cameron," Cuddy was quick to say, giving the younger woman a grateful smile.

"My pleasure," Cameron said with a laugh before disclosing, "I got an opportunity to get an idea of the daily happenings in the toddler room."

"Liam tripped and felled into the fish tank, mommy!" Rachel announced then, skipping in circles around her. "The fishies are alright but Liam had a big egg on his head!"

"I'm pretty sure she means a goose egg," Cameron filled in at Cuddy's look of momentary confusion, shaking her head in amusement.

"Mommy, me hold daddy's picture?" Rachel interrupted to ask then, reaching for the picture on her desk of the four of them.

Cuddy's eyes widened feeling Cameron's eyes on her but reached for the picture, helping Rachel with it momentarily. "Just be careful with it, sweet girl," she murmured to Rachel, pressing a kiss to her forehead before turning back to Cameron, unsure of what else to say.

"Do you love him? Truly love him, I mean?" Cameron asked softly after a moment of silence had descended between them, sitting down on the arm of a chair while completely focused on Cuddy, absently adjusting Elliot so that he was up against her shoulder, her thoughts having turned to the picture House had recently placed in his own office of his… _family_.

Cuddy stared at her for a long moment, unknowingly worrying her lip at Cameron asking her anything regarding her relationship with House. Finally she moistened her lips and murmured honestly, "Yes. I do. I really do."

Cameron stared at her but then nodded slowly, not smiling but not frowning either, clearly contemplating things.

Cuddy paused but sucked in a breath before she continued with commitment, "With all that is within me, Cameron. How _couldn't I _after all that we've gone through together? All that we've survived just to come to this point? So yes, I love him. I love him very much."

Cameron drew in a breath and then sighed but managed a half smile a second later. "Please don't hurt him again," she quietly replied, her words bordering on being a plea.

Cuddy shook her head. "I'm not in that place anymore, Cameron. All I want is to make him happy. I promise I will do whatever it takes to make him happy from here on out and to love him like he deserves to be loved. I… You can keep me accountable if need be," she surprised even herself in offering, wanting… wanting to find a way to bridge the distance somehow, knowing Cameron was a part of her life again via House and Evie as well and not one that would be exiting, but also suddenly yearning for the easy relationship they'd once had bridging between them.

"Okay," Cameron accepted after another pause, her surprise melting as she moistened her lips with her tongue, letting out a breath of something actually resembling relief. Glancing back to Rachel who was watching them as if she understood the conversation, Cameron smiled and then returned her gaze to Cuddy. "I should probably go track Chase down. But… I'll see you guys later. Bye Rachel."

"Bye Cameron," Cuddy replied after Rachel had called out a happy goodbye, saying goodbye to Elliot too. "Have a great night."

"Thanks," she responded, pushing herself to her feet before casting them one more glance over her shoulder, then slipping out the door.

Cuddy released a breath of air once the door shut behind Cameron, turning back to Rachel. That was… interesting, she concluded before refocusing on Rachel and the picture of their family. Smiling momentarily, she finally stepped to her desk to briefly straighten up before asking Rachel for the picture so that she could replace it on the desk, waiting as Rachel pressed a sweet kiss to her daddy and Evie in turn before allowing Cuddy to take it from her.

* * *

July 16th, 2011

House wasn't surprised when Cuddy called just shortly after he'd arrived back at his mom's for lunch. Adjusting Evie in his arms he touched the screen to connect the call. They'd Skype'd the night before after he'd gotten back from dinner out with his mother and David, Rachel a complete chatterbox and Evie as well, serving to amuse both him and Cuddy, but this was the first time they'd talked today, House having been too occupied up until now.

"Hey," he said tiredly even though it was only one in the afternoon, drained from having to be around so many people over the course of the weekend, pleasantries annoying the hell out of him. "What's up?"

"Just checking in," she responded. "Your mom called. Is Evie doing any better?"

House raised an eyebrow at hearing his mother had called Cuddy in addition to himself but wasn't all_ that_ surprised. He wondered briefly who she'd called first but then dismissed the question as unimportant. "Yeah. I think she was just tired and I had to leave today before she'd gone down for her morning nap. I think it might have thrown her off a bit. But she's good. I thought for a while there that I'd be taking her back to the conference with me but I think she'll be fine. If not I'll come up with an excuse to get back early."

"I miss you guys," Cuddy didn't stop herself from murmuring, reaching up to distractedly push her hair back out of her face, having been staring down at the floor, just focusing on the sound of his voice, as well as his answer.

"We'll be home tomorrow," he reminded in response.

"Have you thought at all about…?" she couldn't help asking, her words trailing off.

"Yeah," he said then with resignation, knowing she was referring to beginning the process of adopting Rachel. "Cuddy…"

"Yes, House?" she prompted when he still hadn't said anything more after half a minute passing.

"Did this come back up because of… my dream the other night?" he finally asked quietly.

"No," Cuddy was quick but firm to negate, straightening at his question. "This isn't me doing something to reassure you that you have nothing to fear and that I won't take Rachel away from you. And this isn't me offering you a legal claim to her in order to gain your trust. I'm not interested in buying your trust, House. You're going to have to trust me on your own. When you _want_ to trust me and choose to. Or just… naturally _do,_" she concluded evenly.

Another moment of silence passed between them before House mumbled, "Okay."

Cuddy wasn't actually sure that gave her an answer one way or the other regarding what he'd decided or even _if _he'd decided yet but she determined that she wasn't going to pursue a more direct answer any more than she'd already done.

"I miss you and Rachel too," he uncomfortably acknowledged then, clearing his throat before he got the words out.

"Yeah?" Cuddy asked softly on a sigh, the hope in her voice carrying to him. "You miss _me?_"

"Well, not enough to sleep in your bed if you suddenly decide to leave town for a few days," House began wryly. "But… yeah. A little. Not a lot. Just a little," he concluded lamely.

"I'll take what I can get," she said in dry amusement.

"Greg honey, lunch is ready," Blythe called him then in the background.

"Guess I'll let you go," Cuddy reluctantly murmured, knowing Rachel would wake up from her nap shortly and be ready to go outside and play.

"Yeah," House acknowledged, adjusting the baby in his arms once more, suddenly aware she was in need of a diaper change and intent on passing her off to his mother for that duty. "You'll be online tonight?" he asked then.

"Absolutely," she guaranteed, smiling brightly at his prompt.

"Alright. Talk to you then," he accepted.

"Okay," she confirmed, biting her lip before she disconnected the call, pausing before setting the phone down to give herself another moment to think about him. Twenty-four more hours to go. No biggie, right? She could handle that.

* * *

"Was that Lisa on the phone?" Blythe asked him after returning from changing Evie's diaper, sitting down beside him at the table with the baby in her arms, watching him with affection as he polished off the Reuben she'd made him.

"Yeah," he replied, popping a chip into his mouth.

"How are things going between you two?" she couldn't resist asking.

House shot her a funny look, but then let out a noisy breath before admitting, "Fine."

"Just 'fine'?" she couldn't help pressing, eyeing him.

"Yep," he answered flatly.

"Hmm," she murmured, her eyes switching to the baby who was chewing on her own little fist in contentment.

"Stop worrying," he gruffly instructed, narrowing his eyes at her. "We're fine. Things are fine. Things are… good actually. No meddling required."

Blythe raised an eyebrow at that but huffed out a laugh before shaking her head. "Alright," she accepted.

"So… You think maybe a year from now you'll have married her?" Blythe couldn't stop herself from asking less than a minute later.

House choked on the sip of pop he'd just inhaled wrong.

"Greg, dear…" she worriedly exclaimed, getting up to move closer to him as he continued coughing.

"_Are you trying to kill me?"_ he grunted out between coughs, his hand unsteadily returning his glass to the table in front of him.

"Well of course not," she protested, adjusting Evie in her arms before rubbing his back soothingly.

"Keep asking questions like that and you'll succeed," he moodily pronounced as his coughing subsided.

Blythe huffed out a resigned breath but then shook her head at him before moving to get him a napkin. "It's not _that _shocking a question," she countered finally before slipping into the kitchen with Evie to pour herself an iced tea, giving her son a minute to pull himself together or what not. "After all, you should be setting a good example for Rachel and Georgia."

"We're not living in sin," he muttered with an eye roll.

"Still…" she pressed. "Might not be long now and then…"

Blythe heard him groan and couldn't help the tender smile that stole over her lips in response to how perturbed he was. "What are we going to do with your mother and father, Georgia?" she quietly murmured to the baby before returning to the dining room with her iced tea.

"You should at least think about it dear," she said to him, adjusting the baby in her arms momentarily to pat his arm before taking a seat across the table from him once again.

"Is it time for me to go back to the conference yet?" he mumbled irritably, rolling his eyes.

Blythe smiled in response but let the subject drop for the time being, shaking her head once more before passing the baby to House as he prepared to feed her some peaches.

* * *

House lay in bed that night after disconnecting the video chat with Cuddy, both Rachel and Evie having fallen asleep by the time they said goodnight, and following a couple hours of playing bridge with his mother, surprisingly finding her content to just chat about his conference, the girls and when she hoped to next come for a visit. If she was willing to keep the conversation on the light side, he was only too happy to oblige. Now with distractions gone his thoughts turned back to his unexpected relief in having a conversation with Cuddy regarding Lucas behind him.

He'd been thinking about it, that conversation; thinking of it practically since he'd woken up the morning after, whenever there wasn't something else requiring his attention. Obviously he had. How could he not? And he… he needed to process it; no, he _was _processing it but what he _needed_ was someone else to work through it with him and help him better process it. He needed Nolan. And he hated admitting that to himself even while knowing it was kind of just something he'd gotten used to; expecting someone else to guide him in working through things. But this week… well, a little extra time with Rachel was hardly a sacrifice. And if he had needed to cancel his appointment in order to be home the night before he left, that was perfectly okay with him. It could wait. There was always next week. And Cuddy wasn't pushing for anything. They hadn't even talked about that since, other than her brief reference to it the other day and even _that_ had been hardly more than mentioning it in passing.

"_You going to Mayfield as you did was the end of your breakdown. But it was the beginning of mine," _he allowed himself to mull over for the thousandth time. Did he believe that? Oh, he believed Cuddy believed that but… did he? Did he believe that her issues had really started then and not just when Lucas walked out her front door? He hadn't been present to have a reference point from which to judge properly. Not while he'd been away. Could the start of her breakdownas she called it, really have started with him? Could that really have been the first domino to fall and everything else a triggered train reaction, slowly set off and then building until there was little left intact and help had been called in to pick up the pieces? And if he did believe that, what exactly did that mean to him?

House was rather tired of never coming to the end of all this crap. Though, at least progress was taking place and if not healing per se, there was… marked improvement.

He frowned as he remembered Cuddy mentioning how he'd given her Lucas's address. But he'd never actually clarified that that was what it was. So that meant she'd gone to the address to investigate… Right? Or had she just known the address was his? No, that didn't make a whole lot of sense. He had set up in a new location. She had to have gone. So… what had happened when she'd shown up there, he couldn't help but wonder. Not that it matteredmuch if she'd already seen him and decided she didn't still have feelings for him. No, it really didn't matter at all in that case. Not that he wasn't still curious. _He _certainly had no interest in ever seeing Lucas again.

Adjusting his pillow beneath his head House yawned and then palmed his face tiredly before allowing his eyes to close. He'd talk with Nolan on Wednesday. For now he'd just be thankful the conference was over for him and tomorrow he'd be back home. Thinking of that held far more appeal to him anyway. His eyes opening one last time he indulged himself in the thought of how Cuddy's eyes had shined with the knowledge that he and Evie would be home shortly when they'd Skyped.

He really needed to find a way to trust her, he briefly acknowledged to himself before sleep overtook him. He really did.

* * *

July 17th, 2011

Cuddy heard the garage door opening and knew that meant House and Evie were home. Rachel was sadly asleep at the present having been overly tired and cranky, desperately in need of a nap due to how she'd somehow expected her daddy and baby sister to be home earlier and couldn't grasp the fact that they hadn't arrived yet and still wouldn't for a while, lasting until lunch before having a meltdown. But now Cuddy released a sigh and hurried for the back door, wanting to meet them there and help him bring in whatever he needed to or… just get her hands on Evie, she recognized, as that was more truthful.

Pulling the door open she left it that way and quickly made her way to the car, practically throwing herself into House's arms when he climbed from the car if the "oof" he let out before rocking back against the frame of the car, an arm coming around to encircle her a moment later while the other levered his weight against the car, said anything.

"Gawd, Cuddy," he mumbled a second later when his equilibrium had returned to him, along with the air she'd knocked out of his lungs by catching him unaware.

"Sorry," she murmured into his neck, leaning into him on tiptoes, not ready to release him yet.

Evie squealed then, babbling excitedly upon hearing her mommy's voice and catching sight of her as she craned her neck back in the car seat to see what she could of them from where she sat, securely buckled in, now using her legs to rock in the car seat and push herself a couple centimeters higher in it.

Cuddy released his neck as she rocked back on her heels but then pushed up once again to press her lips to his in a chaste kiss before turning to reach for the door to the backseat, leaning in as soon as it was open far enough in order to unbuckle the baby and scoop her out, Evie happily giggling as Cuddy covered her face and neck in kisses, murmuring contentedly to her.

"Where's Rachel?" House asked after watching them for a moment, looking behind her without masking the smirk on his lips at Cuddy's behavior towards the door to enter the house just as Cookie Monster barked from within, clearly anxious to escape the pen Cuddy had left him in when she'd gone upstairs with Rachel, his little body hitting the sides as he tried to escape.

"I had to put her down for a nap," Cuddy admitted with regret. "She's been cranky practically since she woke up this morning to find out you weren't home yet. I told her you wouldn't be home until after lunch but… I think she'd just reached the end of her patience and wanted what she wanted _now._ She'll probably be awake in another half hour though."

House nodded, popping the trunk to remove luggage from it while Cuddy stayed beside him, still pressing kisses to Evie's head though one eye remained on him at all times, just drinking the two of them in.

"How was the flight?" she asked, her hand stroking over Evie's back as the baby continued to babble in her arms.

"I'm too old for this," he mumbled distractedly as he carted things inside, dumping them just within the door before turning to go back out.

Cuddy laughed but asked, "Too old to have to travel for work?"

"No," he wryly answered, shaking his head as he met her eyes and rolled his, retrieving another load from the trunk before shutting it. "Well, that too but _definitely _too old to be carting a kid around the airport, through security and baggage claim." Grunting disconcertedly he mumbled, "And someone asked me how old my granddaughter was."

Cuddy had to bite her lip hard to keep from laughing. Regaining the ability to control herself, she teasingly inquired, "So are you saying we should have gotten started on a family twenty years ago?"

House harrumphed but muttered honestly, "The stamina I would have had in spades back then but the maturity to handle this… not so much. I'm not even sure I have it _now._"

Cuddy moistened her lips as she watched him re-enter the house and then caught his arm as he went to pass her with the last of Evie's things, rocking herself back up on her heels when he turned his head in her direction to find out why she'd stopped him, pressing another kiss more tender and hesitant this time to his lips before rocking back down on her feet so as not to upset his equilibrium and knock him into the wall behind him.

He looked at her oddly for a second but then swallowed before straightening, setting down what he had in his hands, a hand coming up to gently clasp onto Cuddy's hip in the next second before he leaned into her, Cuddy watching him almost hungrily, barely breathing now as he brought his lips down to meet hers again, his other hand settling on Cuddy's arm where it wrapped around Evie to hold her on her hip. Cuddy moaned against him, pulling him even closer to her as much as was possible with the free arm she was able to slip under his armpit in order to press a hand against the middle of his back, drawing him in further still, and House smirked slightly against her lips before kissing her again.

He whined when Evie eventually reached up and grabbed his ear, yanking on it, but broke the kiss before backing away, removing himself from Evie's mean grip, Cuddy allowing him to go with clear reluctance.

"What was that for?" she couldn't help but ask him in a breathless whisper as she laved her tongue over her slightly plumper now, bottom lip.

House reached down to pick up what he'd set down only a minute ago but then glanced up at her as he straightened, a slight smile playing on his mouth. "Just figured I could stand to indulge you this once," he dryly replied.

It took her a moment to manage to swallow but then her eyes fluttered before she managed to follow after him, still trying to get her breathing back under control. Cookie Monster began to bark again, his nails clicking impatiently against the floor, leaping into the air time after time once House rounded the corner to spot him and chuckled at the dog's behavior before setting down Evie's things again, this time to scoop up the puppy before he could wake Rachel up.

Evie reached for the puppy and Cuddy brought her over, carefully overseeing Cookie Monster as he licked Evie's face from House's arms while House stroked him behind the ears. Evie giggled wildly, tugging at the puppy's ears and Cuddy quickly pried her fingers off him before stepping back to keep her from grabbing at him again.

"Evie and I can take him outside while you unpack, unless you want me to. He probably needs to go outside anyway," she proffered.

House pursed his lips but then he looked at the ceiling and Cuddy understood what he really wanted was to go upstairs and see Rachel. Smiling, she suggested with a measure of amusement, "Or you can leave your stuff and go upstairs to check on Rachel while Evie and I take him out."

House rolled his eyes as if that hadn't been what he was thinking himself but then nodded and Cuddy only waited until he'd set the puppy down on the floor before she called Cookie Monster, checking to make sure he followed her as she headed for the door and not House, watching House himself only long enough to see him out of the room before stepping outside, puppy trailing after her.

House meanwhile climbed the steps to the second floor, opening the gate before stepping through and quietly making his way into Rachel's room. Thinking she looked completely out of it he carefully sat down on the bed beside her only to have her sleepily blink at him and mumble, "Cookie barkin'."

House pursed his lips but didn't say anything as her eyes closed again only to have her shoot upright ten seconds later, eyes wide as she realized her daddy really was home, Rachel exclaiming, _"Daddy!"_ and launching herself into him the very next moment.

House chuckled as she pressed her little body into him, her hands clutching around him as much as she could. And then she was crying almost hysterically and he had no idea where _that _change came from but he brought her closer, shushing her as he pressed a kiss to her forehead, rubbing her back.

A minute later her crying jag came to an end and he looked at her in utter bewilderment as she leaned back to look up at him, smiling widely.

"You're home, daddy!" she was quick to inform him, a hand coming up to push her somewhat tangled hair out of her face despite how it wanted to continue to cling there to her tear-stained cheeks. "I missed you _SO much!"_

_Geesh._ Those had been _happy _tears, House couldn't help puzzling out.

"You stay home wid me now?" she asked him hopefully, pushing herself away from him only to stand upright on the bed, then leaning back into him to wrap her arms around his neck, waiting for his response while patting his opposite cheek.

"Yep," he agreed bemusedly.

Rachel sighed in contentment, hiccupping randomly before giggling to herself. "Exkimo kisses," she declared then, pulling his head down to rub her nose against him, giggling at how close their eyes were as she stared at him, patting both of his cheeks a minute later before backing up only enough to come back in, pressing a soft tear-wet kiss to his lips.

"Ebie?" she asked, laying her head against his shoulder as his arms came around her to hold her to him as he carefully got to his feet to take her downstairs with him.

"Yeah, we'll go see her," he acknowledged then, beginning his descent down the stairs a moment later.

Cuddy was just coming in with the baby and Cookie Monster when House rounded the corner looking for them, Rachel still tucked in against him, her sleepiness returning but not enough to actually have her fall asleep.

Cuddy shook her head at the sight of her but couldn't help the smile that overtook her face. "Did you wake her up?" she asked with a laugh.

"Not on purpose," House mumbled, looking somewhat chagrined.

Cuddy snorted a laugh, shaking her head again.

"She heard Cookie Monster barking," he defended himself.

"Uh-huh," she just dismissed.

Rachel leaned back in his arms, her hand once more coming up to shove hair out of her way before looking to Evie in her mommy's arms, smiling widely at the baby who was distractedly leaning out of Cuddy's arms to follow Cookie Monster's movement across the kitchen floor, one fist in her mouth.

"Kisses for Ebie!" Rachel announced, her hands reaching out as if to take the baby from mommy.

Cuddy laughed but stepped closer with the baby, sucking her lips in between her teeth as she watched her older daughter pat Evie before leaning farther away from daddy and towards mommy to kiss Evie as she looked up at her, her own little mouth opening in a wide grin before chortling at her sister, batting at her excitedly and returning an openmouthed kiss before Rachel giggled and tried to wipe slobber from her chin.

"Ebie like_ wet _kisses," Rachel announced, looking up at her mommy with a bright smile.

"Someone's in a much better mood," Cuddy wryly declared then.

Rachel pouted and leaned back into House before mumbling, "Mommy mean. She makeded me take a nap when me just want daddy home."

"Well if you were being a stinker," House began wryly, surprising Cuddy by apparently speaking in her defense.

"Me _just _want daddy," Rachel pouted as if to explain, looking up at him before leaning into him again, nuzzling him.

"All the same Rachel," he continued dryly only to have Cuddy interrupt, reaching out to rub Rachel's back.

"Well, daddy and Evie are home now so…" she dismissed absently before smiling up at House, her hand briefly moving to him to light upon his neck as she stroked her fingertips through the short hairs there before releasing him, then turning around to head out of the room. "I'm going to change Evie's diaper," she called back after her in explanation.

House nodded before redirecting his attention to Rachel as she asked him, "Daddy? You go outside wid me?"

"Okay kid," he agreed before setting her down on the floor when she squirmed against him. "Cuddy, we'll be outside," he called down the hallway.

"Okay," she agreed before redirecting her attention to blowing raspberries on Evie's belly, the baby trying to wriggle away as she giggled rather helplessly up at her mommy before Cuddy removed her wet diaper.

"Mommy's glad you're home, sweetest baby girl," she murmured to the baby while changing her, Evie busily occupied now trying to get a foot in her mouth. Laughing when the baby's eyes crossed as she stared at her own foot inches from her face, Cuddy shook her head and reached for a clean diaper, thankful to have her family all under the same roof once again.

* * *

Cuddy entered the living room after washing out Evie's last bottle of the night and sank down on the couch next to House, tucking her legs up on the couch beside her and lifting his arm up to tuck herself even further into his side, then reaching back with her other hand to wrap that same arm around her. House grunted as she made herself comfy but didn't say anything, flipping channels with the remote in his other hand.

"Rachel asleep?" she asked then, breathing him in as if to calm herself despite there not being any real need to.

"Yeah. She was out almost before I had her properly tucked in," he mumbled tiredly.

Cuddy nodded, succeeding in drawing even closer to House, her head against his chest and right over his heart, the fingers of one hand just lightly grazing his thigh where her arm lay draped over her own lap.

"I'm glad you're home," she murmured then.

"Yeah?" he asked distractedly, his attention clearly more focused on the TV at the moment.

"Yeah," she said softly before adding, "Though I'm not looking forward to working tomorrow."

"I have tomorrow off," he remembered to tell her then. "Because of the conference."

Cuddy leaned back slightly to look up at him with a frown. "You didn't tell me that," she grumpily muttered.

"Well, take the day off then," he mumbled, meeting her gaze. "You're the boss."

"I can't," she whined, her face falling back into his chest as she settled back into him. "I have meetings and no time to reschedule them."

"Take a half day," he suggested with a shrug. "I haven't made any plans. Just figured I'd spend the day here with the girls before Erika, Trevor and Wilson come over for dinner."

Cuddy's nose scrunched up as she tried to think if she could get away with a half day. She doubted it.

"How about this?" she proffered, as she adjusted herself slightly against him again to incline her head back and see his profile. "Bring the girls and meet me for lunch?"

House groaned, his face screwing up in protest. "But I just want to lounge in my pajamas all day," he whined.

"Come on House," she cajoled, jostling against him.

He huffed out a breath, his forehead knitting as he eyed her. "I'm _not _eating cafeteria food," he resignedly negotiated. "We're not eating at PPTH and you're buying. That's the only way I'll agree to…"

"Okay," she was quick to accept, nodding. "You can pick where we go," she added in an attempt at appeasement.

He grumbled momentarily but then nodded in acceptance.

"What car seat did Cameron use for Rachel Friday?" she then asked him, this question having bothered her all weekend.

"They already have a forward-facing one for Elliot for when he's older," he mumbled in answer. "Got it at her baby shower. She just installed that one in her car as well for Rachel to use."

"Oh," she accepted, glad to have that off her mind.

"You thought I'd send Rachel to PPTH with Cameron without a car seat?" he asked, giving her an odd look.

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Well it isn't like Cameron would actually bring her to me without a car seat. She's a doctor after all. And a mother now. She knows how old kids have to be before they can go without a car seat. I just figured maybe she'd had to borrow one from Riverside East or something."

"Still," he countered. "You seriously thought I wasn't responsible enough to make sure our kid would make it to you in a car seat?"

Cuddy huffed out a laugh before leaning away from him to turn and give him a droll look. "House, _I _didn't even think about a car seat until after I got home with her and was unbuckling her, remembering that you'd left PPTH the day before with her other car seat in your car."

House harrumphed but then dryly quipped, "Well _that _was responsible of you. Just so aware of things," he continued to tease in the same tone.

Cuddy smacked his belly. "Yeah, I'm a terrible parent," she dryly replied with an eye roll while settling her hand against his stomach now, her index finger then absently finding his belly button through his shirt to trace circles around it until House grabbed her hand to stop her.

He shook his head at her, still holding her hand. "Good thing one of us pays attention to these things," he continued with a raised eyebrow. "Otherwise who knows what would happen to my soon to be adopted daughter. Probably something _gawd-awful_ like…"

"_Your what?" _Cuddy interrupted breathlessly, her eyes snapping to lock on his even as she pushed herself up on her knees and tore her hand from his in the process, swiveling towards him and then grasping his shoulders before just lifting one knee off the couch when there wasn't enough space to turn and face him properly, moving it to the opposite side of him so that she was carefully straddling him, her face inches away from his own as she looked slightly down and into his eyes, waiting for him to confirm that she'd heard him right, her hands sliding from his shoulders to rest against his jawline, fingers tickling his neck.

He sobered but acknowledged, "I'll fill out the paperwork this week."

"You… you will?" she whispered uncertainly, emotion already clogging up her throat and building in her eyes, spilling forth only seconds later.

House looked away somewhat uncomfortably but mumbled, "Well I can't exactly have her thinking she's not just as much my daughter as Evie is, can I? Even if it's because she was… chosen instead of a product of the _fruit of my loins_," he concluded sarcastically.

Cuddy cringed at that description but laughed brokenly before falling into him, her arms loosely encircling his neck, her nose against his carotid artery as she softly sobbed against him, just overcome.

"Geez, you'd think I was adopting _you _for crying out loud," he mumbled despite how his hands had come up to both steady and soothe her, the fingers of one hand rubbing along her spine.

Cuddy laughed again but managed to tearfully contest, "That's one thing I'll never ask of you."

"Thank God for that," he sarcastically muttered, rolling his eyes before catching Cuddy totally off-guard by grabbing her ass firmly with his other hand.

Gasping sharply, she narrowly evaded slamming her head into his jaw as her body reacted instantaneously by rocking her pelvis up against his chest, her back arching with sudden desire and head flying up to stare at him in horrified silence a moment later.

"_I'm sorry,"_ she finally managed to push forth from her lips in a hushed whisper, absolutely terrified by how he might react just as House's hand dropped from where he'd grabbed her, his other hand remaining on her hip solely to keep her from jarring his bad thigh if she immediately tried to scramble off of him. "I'm _so_ sorry House."

"Well that was interesting," he drolly managed a second later, once he'd recovered from what he'd unintentionally caused her to do when he'd honestly only intended to shock her out of the waterworks taking place against his neck.

Covering her face with both hands after putting a considerable distance between their upper halves, she peeked out at him from between her fingers, groaning in embarrassment. _"Ugh, that's so humiliating!"_ she whined now that she knew he wasn't angry with her, biting her lip before scrunching her eyes closed as if she could shut out what had just happened.

"You're like a guy getting a prostate exam," House joked, his glee growing at the thought.

"_House!" _she gasped out, staring at him in disbelief, looking just gobsmacked as she gaped at him.

When House actually deigned to laugh at her Cuddy shook out of it and whined again before mumbling, "Just help me get off you so I don't hurt you."

He barked out another laugh before sardonically asking, "Are you seriously asking me to help you get off?"

"_Shut up! Just shut up!"_ she bit out in further mortification before she reached out for the back of the couch, clasping on before managing to disentangle herself from him without causing him harm.

House sat there laughing as she hurried out of the room, practically running for the bathroom on the main floor, falling back against the door once it was shut before staring at herself in the mirror, noting how color has suffused her neck and face due to what had happened. Thinking of the jokes he'd been able to make at her expense she cringed again, recognizing just how responsive she _had _been to his grab.

"_Argh!" _she silently screamed.

* * *

Ten minutes passed before House felt bad enough for her to go track her down. Spotting the light on in the bathroom, he paused outside the door and then said quietly, "Come on Cuddy. Don't worry about it. No big deal. It was my fault. Come on. You can't exactly hide in the bathroom all night. Seriously. Forget about it."

He heard her make a noise of protest but then heard her moving towards the door and stepped back as she cracked it open, looking at him through the crack, frowning moodily.

"Want me to make you some tea?" he offered, trying to keep a straight face and not knowing what else he could do for her to calm her.

Her eyes narrowed at him as she tried to figure out what his motivation was in offering to make her tea but then opened the door and stepped out, moving around him to go make _herself_ tea.

He followed her without saying anything at all, just stooping down moments later to rub Cookie Monster's belly as the pup stretched out directly across his foot, laying there and waiting for it.

"You're really okay with doing this? Adopting Rachel I mean?" Cuddy asked once the water began to boil in the kettle, needing that long to actually gather herself and pretend what had happened, hadn't, biting her lip as she turned to watch him with the dog, crossing her arms over her chest almost protectively without meaning to as she changed subjects.

House looked up at her but nodded. "It makes sense. She's my kid too for all rights and purposes anyway. She's living under my roof. I'm paying her daycare costs. The court can't exactly say I'm not doing what a dad would for her. That should make it easier. And from what I read, if she wants to dissolve the adoption someday in the future, it's not impossible for her to do so. So…"

"She won't do that, House," Cuddy interrupted sternly as if she needed to admonish him for even thinking so.

"No, probably not," he agreed, his eyes flicking from the puppy to Cuddy. "But she _can _and that's… reassuring too. I don't want her to be stuck if someday this isn't what she wants."

Cuddy sucked in a breath but then released it, knowing this probably had more to do with House's dad than it did with him and therefore able to accept that this was just part of who House was, not wanting to force himself on Rachel as John had been forced on him in falsely being named as father on his birth certificate. That didn't mean it didn't hurt her heart but… she could understand and that was _enough_. It certainly wasn't something she was going to fight with him over, trying to prove something to him that really wouldn't conquer a hang-up that couldn't simply be rationalized anyway.

"Thank you House," she managed to say. "Thank you for doing this for her."

House shrugged casually but the corner of his mouth rose regardless, indicating to her that he was more than just okay with it.

Cuddy bit her lip but then smiled softly at him, sighing. "I'm going to be in the minority soon."

"Huh?" he prompted, not following.

"Living with three House's," she replied, her smile growing at his momentary confusion.

"You want to…? You think we should change her last name to… _mine?"_ he finally managed to query in surprise.

"Well, it makes sense," Cuddy said with an easy shrug. "It is your last name. And it's Evie's last name too."

"But Cuddy…" he began before pausing only to ultimately conclude, "We could leave it Cuddy. Or we could hyphenate it."

"Cuddy-House?" she wryly replied, shaking her head. "I don't think so."

"But Cuddy…" House tried to argue.

"No. _Really._ I've thought about it. And… it really doesn't bother me. I like it, in fact. I'd really like her to be a 'House' too. I'd like her to have the same last name as Evie. I'd like her to have the same last name as you, House," Cuddy added with a nod to assert her position on things.

House just looked at her dubiously.

Raising an eyebrow at him, she asked, "Do _you _mind if she shares your name?"

"No," he was quick to reply, shaking his head. "I just…"

"Well then it's settled," Cuddy interrupted, her smile widening. "She gets to be a 'House' like her daddy and sister."

"If you're sure," he finally mumbled, still staring doubtfully at her.

"I am," she reassured gently before turning back to check on her water.

Turning off the stove as the kettle began to whistle Cuddy then turned back to him, smiling softly before stepping towards him, leaning into him when she was close enough to, her hands coming up to wrap around him as she sighed, relaxing into him more.

"You've gone soft," he muttered wryly.

"I don't care," she accepted. "Things are good. I'm embracing that."

"So you're glad I'm home, huh?" he lightly prompted then, needing a subject change for the moment but planning to mull this over later, a hand once more settling on her back to trace circles there.

"Mm-hmm," she confirmed. "I love being here. I love your house. But… _this house_," she murmured, poking him playfully, "is my home," she added with a soft laugh. "Feels good to be home where I belong."

"Well, now you're just being cheesy," House wryly mumbled, his nose wrinkling in distaste.

"Mm-hmm," she agreed before pressing a kiss to his chest. "Don't care. It's true."

"Hmm," he noncommittally replied, reaching for a mug when she released him a moment later to select a teabag, passing it to her when she turned towards him again, watching her thoughtfully as she poured water in her mug and then placed her teabag inside to steep, a smile forming on his lips as he contemplated the woman before him.

It was good to be home. He couldn't deny that.

* * *

"_**Somethin' in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself  
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms  
There's somethin' in your voice, makes my heart beat fast  
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life**_

_**If you knew how lonely my life has been**_  
_**And how long I've been so alone**_  
_**And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along**_  
_**And change my life the way you've done**_

_**It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me**_  
_**It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from**_  
_**It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me**_  
_**It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong**_

_**A window breaks down a long, dark street**_  
_**And a siren wails in the night**_  
_**But I'm alright 'cause I have you here with me**_  
_**And I can almost see through the dark there is light**_

_**Well, if you knew how much this moment means to me**_  
_**And how long I've waited for your touch**_  
_**And if you knew how happy you are making me**_  
_**I never thought that I'd love anyone so much**_

_**It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me**_  
_**It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from**_  
_**It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me**_  
_**It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong**_  
_**It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong"**_

* * *

Song: "Feels Like Home" (Chantal Kreviazuk)


	110. Ain't No Sunshine

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Thank you all for being so sweet and for all your reviews letting me know that you're still interested! I am truly appreciative!)_

* * *

July 26th, 2011

"Who was that?" Cuddy asked curiously, an eyebrow rising when House hung up the phone only seconds after she'd entered the house with the girls, the quickness with which he had ended the call enough to raise her suspicions.

"Uh… your mom," he reluctantly acknowledged.

"_Okay,"_ she hesitantly responded, her expression indicating if her voice wasn't sufficient that she still wanted to know what was going on to make him act strangely.

House had been back just over a week now from his trip for work and he'd spent that time trying to work through how he could move into trusting her _more; _make some steps in that direction anyway, not for Cuddy exactly, well, not _just _for her but because _he _needed to get there_._ He'd met with Nolan the Wednesday before and instead of Nolan just suggesting a number of things House could do to move into trusting Cuddy more fully, he'd had House come up with his own ideas so as not to push him into doing something he was not ready to consider. Surprisingly, House had hesitantly come up with several options, all at least minimally uncomfortable but the most unpleasant, which Nolan had clearly been surprised House had even been willing to name, the one that stuck with him like a sliver he just couldn't pick out now, was entrusting her more with Evie. And when he said entrusting her he _meant _for a significant period of time, not just while at the store or even to pick her up and take her home one day without it being prearranged. The very suggestion had been enough to cause House's chest to feel restricted, his throat clogging up so that even if he'd wanted to swallow, he'd been unable to after proffering it for consideration.

_But _House had refused to toss the suggestion aside so completely as to dismiss it, even as he'd immediately wished to back when it had only been in his head and not out there for Nolan to contemplate with him. Not without seriously weighing it first. But ugh, he didn't want to go that route. He… he might need to but he didn't _want _to. Of course Nolan had suggested he just start small. But he felt like he'd done that. He _had _left Evie with her a couple times already while going next door to Erika's. He'd also let Cuddy take her with when Julia had been in town and they'd had dinner plans. Now he just… wondered if he'd _survive _doing it on a grander scale.

And that had been where this idea had come to him following a mention on Cuddy's part of all her mother was trying to do to prepare to move. Evelyn had called the day before, happily announcing they had a buyer and needed to be out in a month's time. Cuddy had mentioned that Julia was planning on going to help pack them up. He could tell that part of Cuddy was weighing whether she could take time off work to go help as well. And it had him thinking. Having two little girls around wouldn't make the process any easier so it made perfect sense that the girls would stay with him should Cuddy decide to go help. But…, maybe even if it didn't logically make sense and would create its own challenges, perhaps the circumstances were ones in which he should consider doing what didn't make sense and… have her take both of the girls with her. After all, between Richard, Evelyn, Julia and Cuddy, they'd probably be able to manage the girls and _still _get things done. And Evelyn and Richard would probably get a lot done even before Cuddy could arrange to take time off and get there to help anyway.

So that's what he'd been on the phone with Evelyn to talk about. Cuddy had thankfully been outside for a half hour with the girls, allowing him time to delve into the possibility first with Evelyn to see if it was at all practical _before _mentioning it to Cuddy.

"She wasn't calling to talk to me?" Cuddy pressed when he still hadn't said anything more, a full minute later.

"I called her," he said then, turning to prepare Evie a bottle.

Cuddy's brow knitted as she stared at him, trying to figure him out.

He cast a glance her way once he'd filled the bottle with water and mixed in the formula. "I was thinking," he began steadily then, steeling himself for this while turning to heat the bottle in the microwave. "You should go help your parents with their packing for a few days. Maybe you could take some time off work a couple weeks from now."

When he glanced her way again it was to realize that Cuddy visibly looked like he'd slapped her. Her jaw worked for a moment before she managed to softly ask, "What did I do that you're trying to get rid of me?"

House actually laughed at that, his tension melting slightly. "Nothing," he pronounced drolly. "You haven't done _anything. _ I'm not trying to get rid of you. But when you mentioned the move yesterday you looked like you were half-tempted to go help. Maybe you should."

Cuddy bit her lip as House took Evie from her, adjusting the baby in his arms before checking the temperature of the now warm bottle, placing it in her mouth in the next second. "I don't know, House," she murmured then, still off-balance by this whole conversation being sprung on her from seemingly nowhere and still not understanding why he'd talk to her mother and not to her, first. "I mean, I'd love to help my parents out but… I don't know that I want to be away from the girls right now either," she finished, whatever it was within her that _hurt _at his bringing this up and at her lack of understanding where he was coming from, keeping her from including _him_ in who she didn't want to be away from.

"The girls could go with," he managed to convey in a tone much calmer than how he felt inside. "You probably wouldn't get _as much _done as you would without them but… maybe if you go when the majority of the packing is done, and if you could coordinate your trip with Julia's, with Julia there to help as well it would still work out. You could help your mom with the clean-up or whatever."

"You'd be willing to do that? You'd take the time off to come with us?" she couldn't help asking in surprise.

House blinked at her in confusion before he understood what she had assumed. Clearing his throat he glanced down at the baby before reestablishing eye contact with Cuddy. "No. That wasn't what I was saying. I meant you could take the girls to your parent's house for a few days while I stay here and work."

Cuddy swallowed hard, a hand having already shot out to clutch the counter beside her when his meaning penetrated her brain, her eyes briefly flicking to Rachel where she sat with Cookie Monster on the floor, petting him. Refocusing on House she practically stuttered before getting out, "I… I don't think I understand what you're suggesting, House."

He huffed out a breath, rolling his eyes before turning to direct his attention to the calendar on the wall. "Okay, well I was thinking I could get you and the girls tickets to fly to your parents maybe the… twelfth of August, returning the… fifteenth, how about? It'd basically be an extended weekend. Four days in total. You could manage being away from work that long, right? And it's far enough away that you'd have time to work your schedule around it. And by flying, you'd save yourself a long car ride."

She just stared at him, trying very hard to follow him in this. "You're suggesting I take Rachel _and Evie _to my parent's house for a few days next month so that I can help them pack and… and you'll just stay here? I'll take the girls and go and you'll stay behind?" Cuddy clarified.

House had to swallow hard past the lump in his throat but he managed to nod shortly in confirmation.

Cuddy shook her head several times, blinking madly up at the ceiling before she just gave up fighting it and allowed the tears to leak out, looking at the wall rather than at him as her mouth trembled helplessly.

"Cuddy…" he mumbled, seeing this wasn't going how he'd expected it to, having braced himself for her to be emotional and overjoyed, not emotional but _upset._

Motioning wildly, she finally sucked in a breath and brought her gaze back to him, still shaking her head and feeling Rachel's wide eyes on her as she tried to get a grip on herself enough to speak.

Evie released her bottle with a pop, turning her head to look at her mommy from her daddy's arms, not understanding what was going on either.

"What are you doing, House? Why are you doing this?" Cuddy asked brokenly once she could manage the words.

House straightened, his own brows drawn together. "Cuddy, I'm not _doing_ anything. I just thought you… I don't know why you're reacting like this. I thought you'd want to go. It seemed obvious you were thinking about going yesterday," he bumbled about in stating.

Cuddy raked a hand through her curls, mussing her hair as she stared at him, the tears still pouring forth although at the very least, doing so silently. "_Evie,_ House," she pushed. "Rachel, okay, but you're telling me that you want me to take _Evie_ with me too? _Why?_"

"I'm saying you _can,_" he grunted in frustration. "You _can _take Evie with you too."

"_Why, House?" _she pressed, her arms defensively crossing over her chest as she waited for an answer to explain this.

He really wasn't sure how to give her one and even less, a reason that would satisfy when he didn't understand what the problem was.

"You can hardly go next door and leave her behind with me," she pointed out forcefully, shaking her head.

House looked as if she'd hit him before dropping his gaze to the floor as if he was ashamed, and that hadn't been what she'd been aiming for, her eyes fluttering shut as she sighed before opening them again, her mouth parting to murmur, "House…"

"Well," he began before once more clearing his throat. "Then that needs to change, doesn't it?"

Cuddy took a moment to wipe her tears before looking at him again, her jaw clenching in anger no matter how she tried to move past that emotion. "Is this you trying to make me happy again because I really _hate_ that…"

"_No!"_ House quickly cut her off to pronounce, giving her a dirty look.

She eyed him with a frown but then asked pointedly, "Then what is it?"

Evie turned back into him, accepting the bottle back into her mouth and chugging down once more. House released a breath but then shrugged. "I'm not suggesting this in order to make you happy. I get that I don't need to do this for you. Maybe… Maybe you need to do this… for me," he concluded wryly, now rifling a hand through his own hair.

"What does that mean?" she asked quietly, moistening her lips as she waited for an answer, somewhat defensively crossing her arms across her chest as she waited for a response.

"You said that I don't trust you and you were right. But… I want to Cuddy. I _want to. _So maybe you need to do this, you need to go with _both girls_, _for me, _so that I can actively trust you," he finally succeeded in explaining.

She watched him, time passing as she contemplated all of this before taking a shaky breath, her stance relaxing slightly. Her eyes fluttered shut and then open again as she bit her lip. "If I was to do this House, I _would _come back. I don't want to leave you here alone even for four days but I _would _return to you, the girls and I," she added to be clear, helpless to know whether _she herself _even had any desire to do this.

House wouldn't meet her gaze for a moment but he nodded and then reluctantly established eye contact to mumble, "I know that, Cuddy."

When she just stared at him, her chin tilting down, he managed to more convincingly state, "I do know that."

She nodded, pursing her mouth, still uncertain about this whole thing but not sure what else to say.

"It's not like Lucas is going to accompany you," he was able to joke halfheartedly, looking awkward after his jest as he waited for her response.

"Lucas _who?_" she blithely pronounced before shaking her head, a corner of her mouth lifting as she rolled her eyes at him, wiping away tears a second after as she got herself under control. "Forget Lucas, House. We've already established I was an idiot to want a relationship with him," Cuddy wryly retorted under her breath.

Finally moving towards him, she pursed her lips and then clasped his arm with her hand before looking up to him to ask in a murmur, "If I do this, _for you,_" she clarified with a half-smile before sobering and worriedly continuing, "Am I going to be causing you a bunch of sleepless nights and bad dreams?"

House shrugged, there not really being an answer to give her as he had no clue.

Cuddy bit her lip but then murmured, "Give me a kiss to make me feel better about even considering this."

"I've got the baby," he whined, looking away.

She shook her head but stepped back enough to reach for Evie. "Come to mama, baby girl."

Taking her from House she settled her again in her arms with the dregs of her bottle, carefully wrapping her arm around her so that she could also use that hand to help steady the bottle, freeing the other one up.

"Okay," she urged him, turning her face up to him.

He scrunched his nose but then huffed out a breath before resignedly bending towards her, Cuddy encircling his shoulder with her free arm to run her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck as his lips found hers, applying steady pressure before pulling back slightly.

She had her eyes closed and leaned her forehead against his chin briefly before drawing in a breath and reluctantly releasing him to step back. Cuddy smiled slightly at his own upturned mouth before stroking his jaw briefly. Turning then, she leaned back against him, reaching for his hand to settle it on her hip before looking at Rachel who was still watching them.

"Mommy, you guys like ta kiss," Rachel informed her seriously then, before adding, _"A lot."_

"Yea," Cuddy agreed, chagrined, while House just snorted behind her. Smirking slightly she couldn't help adding, "It's because daddy's such a champ at it."

Rachel giggled at the face her daddy made before scrambling to her feet to ask, "Will you play with me, daddy?"

"Sure kid," he agreed wryly, releasing Cuddy's waist to move around her as Rachel latched on to his hand before dragging him towards the living room.

Cuddy watched them go before setting Evie's bottle in the sink to burp her. Following after them, she stopped long enough to step in the bathroom and wash her face, scrubbing away at what makeup had run, momentarily annoyed at having cried once again for what felt like the millionth time. Then trying to distract herself Cuddy briefly contemplated such a trip as House was suggesting. She couldn't help wondering how exactlyhe thought if he had a rough time travelling with one, she'd manage with _two._

* * *

July 30th, 2011

"_What are those?"_ Cuddy asked with traces of both suspicion and eagerness in her tone as she dried her hands on a towel after placing the dishes from dinner in the rack to dry and headed towards him, suddenly aware of just why House had to slip out earlier in the day and had left her with the girls, Evie down for a nap at the time and Rachel playing quietly.

He laughed at her, turning away so as to fend her off with his body when she approached and so Cuddy pressed herself up against his back, her arm coming around him to try and get at the huge envelope in his hands with the name of the photography company he'd used earlier in the month, cashing in on his gift certificate from Chase. He extended his arm so that she couldn't get it and laughed at her when she whined and tugged on his arm. "Come on, House! Let me see!" she complained.

"Back off or I won't show you," he grumbled almost playfully at her, causing her to huff out a breath but drop back on her heels, allowing him to create some distance between them.

"_House,"_ she whined again when he teased her further, eyeing her.

Shaking his head he finally passed it to her, watching as she quickly turned away to open it so that he couldn't snatch it back and carefully slipped the pictures within out so as to study them. He rolled his eyes but smirked as she gasped happily, slowly working her way through them.

"_Oh House,"_ she murmured with emotion, having to pause to swipe at her eyes.

"Where are the rest of them?" she asked anxiously when she'd gone through them twice, knowing there were more because they'd both ordered larger shots than the envelope could have contained and wanted to get her hands on those as well.

"I hung up a few in your room and put the rest of yours on your bed," he admitted then, grinning when she instantly turned to run off in the direction of the stairs.

He followed after freeing Evie from the highchair she'd still been in and checking on Rachel who was in the living room playing with Baby G. Pausing in her doorway he watched her as she stroked a hand along one of the framed pictures of a close-up of the four of them by his motorcycle.

"Have I told you lately that you make me insanely happy?" she tremulously asked when she saw him in her doorway a second later, reaching up to wipe at her tears before approaching him.

He chuckled but dryly quipped, "Good to know."

Drawing up next to him she laughed breathily at his expression but reached for his face, cradling it against her palms as she licked her lips and then pushed herself up on her tiptoes to bring her lips to his, softly kissing him several times before laughing at herself for letting out another shaky breath, burying her face in his chest a moment later.

"So you're happy with how they turned out?" he confirmed, a smile of contentment on his lips when she leaned back to look up at him and nod.

"But where are the rest of them?" she knowingly demanded then.

"What are you talking about?" House innocently replied, turning to exit her room.

She followed close on his heels as he descended the stairs and then reached to take Evie from him, pressing a kiss to the baby's cheek before directing her attention back to him, an eyebrow raised pointedly. "I seem to be missing a picture," she said dryly.

"What picture?" he queried as if he had no idea what she was talking about.

"You know which one," Cuddy muttered.

He grunted but mumbled, "I'll only give you that one if you promise to put it somewhere no one will see it."

She giggled and House shot her a comical look in response. Biting her lip, she nodded her agreement. "I'll hide it," she promised. "Wilson won't see it."

He harrumphed but that _was _part of it. He'd never hear the end of it if Wilson saw the shot of her kissing him. Especially considering he'd been a willing participant.

"Okay," he agreed wryly, turning to open the door to his bedroom, Cuddy following him closely.

He passed the photo to her, surprising her as he'd already placed it in a frame for her as well and she bit her lip before glancing up at him. "Thank you," she murmured, carefully adjusting the frame in her hand so that she could use that same hand as leverage, wrapping her fingers around his bicep loosely to press a very chaste kiss to his lips, backing away only to change her mind and give him a second one.

When she stepped back from him he motioned to the doorway as if to kick her out but she gave him a determined look and then purposely raised herself up to look around him, nodding her head in the direction of the bed and the album she'd already spotted there. "What are those?" she suspiciously asked, knowing the answer.

"Nothing," he responded dismissively, but accepted Evie anyway when she passed her back to him and stepped around him to go investigate, House shaking his head at her.

Glancing back at him after picking the album up, Cuddy crawled up on his bed carefully and then scooted over when he came to sit down beside her, Evie babbling happily in his arms. She had to pause as Rachel came running in and then helped her up on the bed before lifting the cover to the album to finally discover what the other pictures he'd had taken, were of.

"_House," _she scolded halfheartedly at best.

"I wanna see, mommy!" Rachel exclaimed, tugging on her arm as she stood upright on House's bed, leaning into her to peer at the pictures. "That's me, mommy! Me 'n Ebie 'n daddy!"

"I see that," she dryly murmured in acknowledgement, shooting House a look as she slowly made her way through the album to the sound of Rachel's commentary, taking in the shots he'd obviously had taken in the OR at Riverside East.

"It's not like I'm hanging them up on the walls," he defended when Cuddy threw him a dirty look at the supposed surgical shot of Evie on the operating table, the baby trying to crawl away while House and Rachel loomed over her with rather maniacal expressions on their faces, Rachel holding a…

"_Is that a scapel?" _Cuddy bit out indignantly.

"Not a real one," he defended dryly.

"_House…"_

"Yeah?" he couldn't help gleefully prompting.

"These are _so not _in good taste. Some of these look like they are shots from a horror movie about to come out. I'm going to kill you. No. Scratch that. I'm going to wait until Wilson is next over and then sic him on you," she muttered, rubbing her face in disbelief.

"Come on, Cuddy. They're not _that _bad. Not the majority of them anyway," he replied with a dismissive shrug.

"Wilson's going to kill you," she sing-songed with another shake of her head.

"That the best you got to threaten me with?" he retorted mockingly.

"No," she agreed before amending, "Wilson first. Then I'm going to call your mother."

She smirked smugly when he immediately drew back, clearly not appreciating that threat.

* * *

August 12th, 2011

"Are you sure about this?" Cuddy asked for the millionth time, frowning as she stared up at him, eyebrows drawn together somewhat.

"I'll be _fine,_" he pointedly replied.

"_I _might not be," she mumbled before leaning forward to press her face into his chest, the girls in the double stroller beside them, waiting to go through security. "You sure you won't come with us?"

House rolled his eyes and then squeezed her upper arm before stepping back, forcing her to break the physical connection. "You'll be fine. We'll Skype tonight. Just… send me a text to let me know when you're at your mom's."

"House, can't I just call you from the airport? Or when I get to mom's instead of texting? _This is stupid._ You calling me _doesn't_ qualify as an act of distrust. You're sending the girls with me, aren't you? Come on. You don't even have to call me. I'll call you. We can talk on the phone. I don't want to just talk to you once a day," she pressed, a slight whine to her tone as she rubbed her hand against the center of his chest as if it would help convince him of how harmless that would be. "I didn't even talk to you once a day when you went to that conference."

"We've talked about this," House huffed. "If the girls need me for some reason and there's nothing else for it, then you can call me. But otherwise…"

"What if _I _need you?" she countered, interrupting him, her eyes flicking up to meet his, biting her lip as she waited on him.

The corner of his mouth went up, a little of his trepidation easing at that statement. "You're a big girl," he quipped.

"_You're_ being ridiculous," she pointedly informed him, poking his chest. "This rule of yours is _meant _to be broken. Come on. You don't even like rules. Why would you honor your own?"

"I'll kiss you now if you'll shut up," he negotiated with as straight a face as he could manage.

Cuddy sighed but her eyes flicked to his lips and then back to his eyes before she glanced briefly at the girls. "Deal," she resignedly murmured, knowing she really did have to get this show on the road and go through security so that House could get to work before too long. "But it has to be a good one," she added, the corners of her mouth turning up as she negotiated right back.

"When have I not given you a good one?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you agreeing to knock my socks off then, Dr. House? Slip me some tongue maybe?" she couldn't resist provocatively testing him, her own eyebrow rising in response to his.

House choked on his spit at her response, coughing as Cuddy laughed at him, extremely pleased with herself.

"Yeah, that's not going to happen," he dryly retorted once his coughing had abated, her expression going from hopeful to playfully irked to accepting, all in a matter of seconds.

"Well, it still better be a good one," she gravely announced.

"Just bring your lips over here," he grumbled, checking quickly to make sure everything was good with the girls before refocusing on her.

"Why can't you come to me?" Cuddy couldn't help but counter, dragging out the moment for the sheer value of building anticipation.

House rolled his eyes but then stalked the two steps separating them to actually catch her off-guard, complying with her jibing, grabbing her upper arms to bring her against him, his mouth catching hers as she reached up to clutch his shoulders breathlessly, eyes already shut, hungrily returning his kiss as he captured her lips insistently, not delving within but leaving her feeling plundered and boneless anyway by the time he pulled back, Cuddy momentarily trying to follow him.

"_Gawd,"_ she gasped, blinking up at him as if in a daze while he steadied her on her feet.

"No. Just me," he quipped before releasing her completely, looking extremely smug by how swept away she remained, breathing hard as she stared at him still.

House redirected his attention to the girls as Rachel giggled at them before burying her face behind a hand as if embarrassed. He carefully lowered himself to the side of the stroller so that he could press a kiss to Rachel's forehead and then Evie's in turn.

"Remind mommy to call daddy when you're in your pj's and ready to go to bed at Grandma Cuddles tonight," he directed at Rachel before straightening again, rifling her hair.

Rachel nodded but pushed herself upright so that she was standing in the stroller, House steadying her.

"Kisses for Rachel, daddy!" she prompted, her lips pursed and waiting.

Cuddy reached out, her hand tracing his upper back as he gave Rachel kisses and a hug, settling her back in the stroller a second later before turning to lift Evie out, giving her the same treatment but adding in a buzzing of his lips against her neck.

Once both girls were back in the stroller House turned, Cuddy's hand reluctantly dropping from his back as she sighed, House nodding in the direction of the security line which thankfully had only light traffic passing through at present.

"Go on," he mumbled, Cuddy sighing once more before nodding and moving around the stroller so that she could push it in that direction.

Pausing before actually entering the roped off area, she looked back at him to say honestly, "I love you House. We'll be back soon."

He nodded but couldn't have said anything if he'd tried.

She bit her lip but then reluctantly pushed the stroller onward, away from him.

House watched them go through security, the whole process a pain with two kids and a stroller, along with the diaper bag chockfull of supplies to get the girls through the flight, before he returned her hesitant wave with bravado, watching as she bit her lip before passing out of his sight, Rachel blowing him kisses and Evie chewing on her fist. Turning reluctantly, he cast one final glance back over his shoulder before forcing himself to head in the direction of his car, huffing out a breath.

Forget making him stronger, he thought. This was outright going to kill him.

* * *

"You okay?" Cameron asked fretfully when House entered the office almost two hours later.

"Yeah," he dismissively replied, picking up the file she extended his way to peruse it momentarily before she ticked off symptoms on their newest patient for him.

He'd been surprisingly good at managing this thing, sending the girls with Cuddy to her parent's house; partly because of Nolan helping him prepare himself somewhat and partly because Cuddy had constantly needed _his _assurance that it was really what he wanted, practically telling him on a daily basis that he could change his mind at any time and she wouldn't take it personally even as she kept him completely in the loop regarding where they might go out to eat while gone or what home project still remained to be tackled. But if Cuddy was worried about it, her mother was the opposite, calling all the time to talk about this or that with Cuddy, discuss the merits of hanging on to one piece of furniture or another, while a list grew in her mind of activities she wanted to do with her granddaughters while they were in town that was more extensive than four days could reasonably contain. And even if he could go against his own obstinacy that Cuddy and the girls go in order to spare himself this ordeal, how could he disappoint Evelyn?

_Unfortunately, _Wilson had found out about Cuddy's pending trip with both girls on Monday while they were all at Erika's for dinner and while he hadn't said anything at the time, just casting troubled glances about the room and mostly at House, by the next morning he'd _clearly _held a conversation with Cameron about it because she'd brought it up shortly after arriving at work, not quite in the same state as Wilson appeared to be in but regardless, preoccupied by it. Now he'd have the joy of her fussing about him at work and dealing with Wilson as well, tomorrow night when they went out bowling, a plan he'd made hoping to distract him from the situation instead serving as an opportunity for Wilson to more than likely probe his psyche, searching for all the possible meanings of this decision. Fun four days he had ahead of him, he wryly thought.

Cameron could tell that House was only half-hearing what she was telling him but she continued all the same, not knowing what else to do. He'd made it clear the other day that he didn't want to talk about it, not that she'd honestly expected him to. Oddly enough for once, while she was worried for him, her reasons for being concerned diverged from those of Wilson. He saw this as a sign of trouble ahead, a sign that House was giving too much… importance to Cuddy. Cameron just saw it as four days of emotional self-torture that House was choosing to inflict upon himself. As for Cuddy, Cameron had known just with that picture of the four of them finding its way to this office that House was seriously invested in her still and way more than she had wished him to be but… which she'd chosen to accept now, believing Cuddy was being genuine that day when she dropped Rachel off with her at PPTH while House was out of town. After all, even if she wanted to she was incapable of protecting House from whatever risk could possibly exist out there in concern to him.

When House snapped out of his thoughts and finally started volleying tests to run at her, Cameron decided something. She couldn't do much for him. At best she could keep him distracted while at work, maybe invite him for dinner or something. She doubted House would want to go to the daycare downstairs when Evie and Rachel weren't there. But… how hard could it be to bring Elliot upstairs for a time? Deciding she'd bring him up at lunchtime and see if that somehow helped House at all she then set aside her doubts about how he was going to handle this and threw herself into her job, knowing busyness would keep both of them from thinking too much.

* * *

House looked down to see Cuddy's name flashing on his phone and he rolled his eyes but couldn't help the smile tugging at his lips as he turned away to connect the call despite Cameron being out of the office at the moment anyway. "Yeah?" he nonchalantly managed to say.

"I couldn't do it," Cuddy informed him, clearly pouting as if she fully expected him to be irritable with her for calling.

"You couldn't do what?" he dryly replied, rubbing his face even though she couldn't see him.

"Just send you a text," she answered. "I had to call you."

"You had to?" he repeated skeptically.

"Uh-huh," she asserted, tongue-in-cheek.

"Where are you?" he asked, unable to stop himself.

"Beside the rental car. The girls are both sound asleep. I think the flight wore them out. It wore _me _out," Cuddy wryly murmured, peeking in on the girls before making sure that everything was in the car, doors securely closed, then climbing in.

"Lock your doors," he prompted her just to be on the safe side when he heard her climb in the car and shut the door behind her.

"Worried someone's going to kidnap us from the airport parking lot?" she asked, obviously humored by him in the way he could detect she was currently smiling. But she did hit the lock button.

"Just looking after my buddy Wilson's vested interests," he managed to reply, clenching his jaw to keep back a smirk.

"Huh?" she responded, clearly confused.

"You have no idea what all that baby paraphernalia you somehow managed to take with you cost him," he answered, unable to hide his grin now.

Cuddy grunted but shook her head before fingering a lock of her hair, randomly twirling it, asking softly then, "What are you doing right now?"

"Talking to you," he dryly muttered. "Exactly what I planned _not _to be doing right now."

"What else?" she inquired, ignoring his comment before releasing the strand of hair she'd wrapped about her finger in order to reach for her seatbelt. "Do you have a case?"

"Yeah, but nothing special," he replied with a shrug she couldn't see.

"Oh. Sorry," she said almost apologetically.

"You're sorry?" he couldn't help asking dubiously.

"Yeah. It would help if you had something to keep you distracted from… everything, wouldn't it?" she managed to ask, already regretting having worded it that way.

"I'll be fine," he reassured her with an accompanying eye roll.

"House…" she murmured a few seconds later.

"Cuddy, seriously. I'll be fine," he interrupted to assert, feeling ridiculous now.

"No. I just… want to tell you something," she quietly admonished.

"Oh. What?" he inquired, an eyebrow rising as he waited.

Cuddy bit her lip, a smile curving up her lips. "I'm in love with you," she almost shyly whispered then, having spent the whole flight thinking that very thing when the girls were otherwise occupied, Rachel coloring and Evie drinking a bottle.

Surprised, not having expected her to say _that, _he nevertheless couldn't help grinning like a fool when he asked rather amusedly, "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she murmured, still basically whispering.

"Good to know," he managed to reply, though she could hear in his tone that he'd enjoyed hearing it.

"So… I'll call you back when I get to mom and dad's house?" she inquired hopefully.

"Cuddy," he admonished but laughingly.

"Alright. I'll text then," she agreed wryly. "But Skyping. Tonight. I'll send you a text when I'm on?"

"Drive safe," he felt stupid saying.

"I will," she agreed happily, sighing then.

House hung up before either one of them could find another reason to keep this absurd conversation going.

* * *

"Was Greg supposed to call you? Or the hospital?" Evelyn asked her eldest daughter when she caught her staring at her phone for the fifth time in a half hour.

"Huh?" Cuddy asked absently, casting a glance at her mother and Julia who was also eyeing her curiously before her eyes flicked back to her phone and then back to her mother again as what she'd asked her penetrated her thoughts. "Oh. No," she answered with a shake of her head as she straightened where she'd been sitting at the table wrapping china in paper while her dad entertained Rachel and Evie outside, setting her phone aside.

"Everything alright?" Julia inquired when their mother gave her a pointed look as if to urge her to press her sister and figure this one out.

"Yeah, of course," Cuddy immediately said, setting a paper-packaged plate aside before reaching for another to wrap up and add to the ready-to-box stack.

"Honey…?" Evelyn couldn't help pushing.

"No. Everything's great. Really. I just…" Sighing heavily, she rolled her eyes but then just gave up on keeping her mouth shut to explain, "He's got these rules for while I'm here and… I don't like it."

Julia's eyebrow rose skeptically before she prompted, "Rules?"

Cuddy huffed out a breath, brushing hair back and away from her face before rolling her eyes. "Whatever you're thinking, I assure you you're on the wrong track. He… _Argh,_ House… is trying to prove to himself that he can trust me. Hence, he thought he'd send me and the girls here to help mom and dad. Which _honestly, _I already was thinking about. Coming I mean. But… not with Evie. I didn't see _that_ happening. Wouldn't even have asked to bring her. I just… He's not ready and… I'm just…"

"I'm confused," Julia interrupted to say, her expression reflecting that perfectly, a hand up to stop her from continuing on in this broken monologue.

Evelyn joined her girls now at the table, having caught on to what Lisa was trying to express even before she'd looked at her as if hoping she could explain it to Julia better. Moistening her lips first, she thought of how to best put it into words. "Lisa's trying to say that Greg is still adjusting to having her in the picture and… relinquishing Evie's care to her on a bigger scale. He's used to being her main care provider. He's not used to entrusting Evie to her. So this is a big deal."

Directing her attention to Lisa, she asked, "What are the rules exactly?"

Cuddy laughed disconcertedly, partly in embarrassment but mostly at the crazy turn her life had taken that brought her to this insanity. "Well, it's only one rule really, if a rule even appropriately describes it." Frustrated slightly, she huffed again before rubbing one side of her face and saying, "It's more like he's punishing himself. _Which makes me crazy!_ But maybe he's just trying to keep his thoughts off us. I don't know."

"But what is it?" Julia encouraged. "What's the rule that might not be a rule _per se?"_

Cuddy laughed a little but then admitted, "I'm not supposed to call him. Well, if the girls need him or something, yeah. But otherwise, the 'plan' is to only talk once a day. I think maybe it's to just expand the borders on his ability to trust me; to entrust _Evie _to me. Then again, maybe he's trying to prove to himself I won't run for the hills with her the first chance I get," she wryly concluded, looking pained.

"So, you want to call him but you can't?" Julia clarified, getting back to her sister's earlier state of distraction.

"Yeah," Cuddy sighed, thankful to have successfully explained herself. "I just… At the very least I'd like to reassure him that everything's going well and there's nothing for him to worry about. But… I can't do that. He won't let me."

"And you're actually listening to him?" Evelyn couldn't help asking, shaking her head almost disapprovingly.

"I wish he would have just come with," Cuddy huffed, pursing her lips before looking down at the table.

"Lisa…" her mother began.

"No, no, it's okay. You can honor his crazy rule. You don't have to call him," Julia interrupted her mother to say. "We can work around it. I can help. I can take care of this. No problem. Now what's his cellphone number? No one's ever given it to me."

"Julia, you _can't _call him. I think that'd be cheating," Cuddy quickly protested, moistening her lip because it was still tempting.

"I'm not going to," Julia protested, giving her sister a look as if she'd lost her mind. "What would I even say to him? _'Greg, you're an idiot! Here's Lisa. Talk to her'?_ I've got an even better solution than insulting him. Now tell me his number."

Cuddy tilted her head, giving her sister a dubious look. But Evelyn just took charge, rattling off his number and then shrugging helplessly at her eldest.

"What are you going to do?" Cuddy whined uncertainly.

Julia glanced up from her phone to meet her sister's gaze, raising a crooked eyebrow at her. "I'm going to send him photos. I assume his cellphone is equipped with a camera and a decent screen. I'm going to document what you and the girls are up to throughout the weekend so that even if you aren't talking regularly, he'll know what you guys are up to. I would think that would at the very least, ease his mind."

Cuddy's face completely transformed with every word out of Julia's mouth. "You're a genius!" she exclaimed disbelievingly.

Julia gave her a dirty look before drolly stating, "Don't sound so surprised."

But she laughed when Lisa pushed back from the table to run around it and get to her, hugging her as if she'd just saved her life.

Evelyn laughed but Julia waved her over. "Get over here mom. Lean in with us so I can take a picture of the three of us to send him."

Evelyn sighed but got up to lean over Julia's opposite shoulder, smiling for the camera. Once they'd all approved the picture Julia slipped outside to take a picture of the girls with her father, dragging Cuddy with her for one more shot, sending them off to Greg immediately after.

* * *

House had just reentered the house from taking Cookie Monster out after getting home from work, having walked out with Cameron and Elliot but turned down an invitation to join her and Chase for dinner, when his phone beeped with an incoming text where it sat on the counter. He glanced at it but ignored it, giving the dog his dinner, trying not to think of how quiet the house was and just how empty it would be tonight and for the next several days. But when the phone beeped again with another message and then another, he gave up trying to ignore it, his curiosity peaked, and reached for it. The number was unfamiliar to him, probably sent by someone who had entered the wrong number, but when he opened the first text regardless a chagrined smile took over his face as a photo of Cuddy, her mother and sister greeted him. The number must be Julia's. Evelyn's he knew.

Not even bother to attempt resisting temptation he scrolled to the next message to find a picture of Richard with Rachel and Evie giggling into the camera. The last one, because of course he had to immediately look at the one to follow it, was of Cuddy with both girls and he rolled his eyes to see they were all blowing him kisses, Cuddy holding Evie's wrist so her little hand was outstretched towards the camera too, their eyes bright and laughing. He set his phone down as if once was sufficient just to pick it back up and scroll through the pictures again. It took him a few minutes but finally he clicked the button to reply to the last one, thinking of asking her to keep them coming. Instead he kept his message brief.

"Thanks."

* * *

Julia's phone vibrated in the middle of a discussion of whether they were all going to eat out or order in and she didn't miss how Lisa immediately fell silent, her eyes focused on it hopefully. Smiling slightly, Julia tucked a lock of hair behind her ear but reached for it to find that it was a text back from Greg. Clicking it open she read it silently but then bit back a smile before she looked up at her sister who looked _incredibly _eager to know if it was from whom she was hoping.

"Thanks," she read aloud before setting her phone aside, taking in the smile on Lisa's face.

Laughing with delight, her eyes widened as she accused gleefully, "Oh! You are _so _smitten!"

Cuddy gaped at her trying to form words. _"No!"_ she finally huffed, though not very convincingly.

"You are!" Julia pressed adamantly, laughing again. "Worse than that, you're twitterpated! All he said was '_thanks,' _Lis, and yet you're all…"

"_Julia,"_ Cuddy groaned in admonishment.

"Who's twitterpated? And with who?" Richard asked, eyebrow quirked, directing his attention to his daughters where he squatted on the floor beside Rachel tying a shoe that had come undone while they'd been outside, having only just come in.

Cuddy blushed and quickly looked away. "I'm not," she attempted to deny again, though when she glanced back at her laughing sister the corners of her mouth were raised in a small smile, color staining her cheeks. "I'm really not," she stated again, with absolutely no conviction.

"No, of course you're not," Julia agreed easily, her face saying the exact opposite.

"I don't think I want to know," Richard huffed, understanding far more than he wanted to.

"Oh come on daddy," Julia was quick to soothe as she went to him and wrapped her arms around his neck from behind while he straightened. "You know you're still first in our hearts," she teasingly added.

Richard gave her a dirty look over his shoulder. "Of course I am," he harrumphed disbelievingly before she let him go, laughing at his expression.

Turning to her oldest niece she let the subject go to exclaim, "Well Rachel, what do _you _think we should eat for supper?"

"And don't say cookies," Cuddy interjected dryly, shaking her head when Rachel's eyes lit up just at the mention.

Rachel looked from her mommy to her aunt but then just shrugged. "Maybe we hab some mac' an' cheese?" she volunteered with a cute little smile as all eyes were now on her, Evelyn having come back into the room with a now clean Evie.

"Perhaps," Evelyn noncommittally acknowledged before looking at Richard pointedly. "But I want out of this house. Take us out somewhere nice, Richard."

"Somewhere nice with macaroni and cheese," he mused. "Tall order but I think I can pull it off."

Cuddy passed Rachel a light jacket just in case before turning to track down her purse, accepting Evie as she slipped out of the room when the baby reached for her, hands opening and closing, bright smile on her face as she chanted Cuddy's name. Pressing a kiss to the baby's chubby cheek, she reached down for her purse and Evie's diaper bag and then turned to follow everyone out the door, feeling better than she had all day.

* * *

Cuddy sent House a text as she logged in on Skype later that night, both of the girls in their pj's, Rachel's teeth brushed and Evie's bottle close at hand. She laughed when his name came up on the screen just a few seconds after her logging on, but then she bit her lip, wondering just how long he'd been waiting on the other end for her to text him so he could switch his status to reveal his presence, a twinge shooting through her at the thought that he might have been waiting quite some time.

She clicked on his name and began the video call, adjusting Evie in her lap, Rachel perched at her side on another chair.

"Daddy?" Rachel asked, her face turning to Cuddy hopefully, bouncing slightly on the chair with impatience.

"Yeah. We should be able to talk to him in just a minute," Cuddy reassured, stroking her daughter's hair back.

"Daddy!" Rachel yelled then, giggling happily. "I see you!"

Cuddy quickly redirected her attention at the screen to see him, biting her lip to restrain the smile that wanted to shine forth.

"Hey kid," House greeted Rachel, the corner of his mouth raised in a partial smirk as he focused his attention on her.

When Cuddy thought she could manage to speak without her voice breaking in a sudden surge of emotion she swallowed and then said, "Hey."

House turned his gaze slightly to focus on her and Evie in her lap as the baby chortled, hands flapping about wildly in animation. "How's it going?"

"Good," she acknowledged. "We packed up mom's china and the decorations she had up in the living room and dining room. Then we boxed what remained of dad's books in the study. Dad kept the girls busy. Mom said he's trying to get out of helping but…"

"I wanna talk! I wanna talk!" Rachel interrupted, back to bouncing on her chair in excitement.

House laughed but turned his attention back to her after giving Cuddy an eye roll over Rachel's impatience.

"Daddy, me 'n Ebie played with grampa! He gib me piggy back rides! He the _best _oinker ever! And Ebie dropded Baby G on the floor but gramma kissed her and made her better! An' I hab mac' and cheese for dinner! An' grampa gabe me some of his milkshake but mommy told me not too much or I not get cookies. So me only hab a lil' bit!" Rachel breathlessly spilled out.

Cuddy laughed at their daughter's enthusiasm, House looking like he was trying to keep up with her subject changes, shooting her a wry look when Rachel finally gave him opportunity to reply.

"Sounds like you're having a great time, kid," he dryly responded, the half-smile on his lips growing when Rachel nodded emphatically.

"Can mommy talk to daddy for a moment?" Cuddy softly asked Rachel then.

She pouted but nodded before giving her daddy a sweet smile.

Cuddy pressed a kiss to Rachel's forehead when the little girl leaned into her side but then turned back to the computer screen to give House a soft smile, changing directions in the conversation to ask, "What did you do today? After you got home I mean?"

House shrugged noncommittally but replied, "The mutt and I cleaned the garage and then I took a shower before Trevor came over to play Xbox. He wanted me to play some of his new games with him."

The garage hadn't been that dirty. He was trying to keep busy, distracting himself, Cuddy realized. But it wasn't like she was going to bring that up again. One corner of her mouth quirking, she bit her lip and with interest invited, "Go back to that shower you took. Tell me more about that."

House actually laughed and something in Cuddy's chest unfurled at the sound, thankful to have done that for him. "So you were really dirty? Sweaty?" she pressed, her smile widening. "Did you have to use a lot of soap to get clean? Mmm. Did…?"

"Mommy?" Rachel piped up. "Me talk to daddy again now?"

House chuckled but sarcastically quipped, "Yeah kid. _Please,_" and Cuddy pouted at him but then listened as Rachel told him about what gramma and grampa had promised to do with her tomorrow, giving Evie her bottle when she began to fuss.

When Rachel finally ran out of steam and leaned into her sleepily, Cuddy bit her lip before releasing her breath and admitting, "I miss you, House. I wish you were here with us."

"It's been less than a day," he stated with irony, but she could tell that he liked hearing that from her by his expression, even as he tried to restrain it.

"I miss you too, daddy," Rachel announced then, one hand stretching out towards him and the camera.

House rather reluctantly admitted, "I miss you guys too, kid."

"Blow me a kiss," Rachel commanded with a sleepy smile, hand still out to catch it.

House groaned but Cuddy laughed when he dramatically did as Rachel asked, shaking his head when Rachel practically slapped the blown kiss to her cheek.

"Any kisses for mommy?" Cuddy prompted, laughing when he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Yours can wait 'til you get home," he dryly mumbled.

"Mmm, I'll take it!" she agreed with a nod of her head after a moment of consideration. Adjusting Evie again so that the baby could see the screen better and House her, she asked, "Wanna blow kisses to baby girl?"

House rolled his eyes but Cuddy caught the longing in his eyes in the next moment as he stared at Evie, the baby staring back, her connection with the bottle in her mouth making a popping noise as she broke the seal her mouth had upon it, smiling lazily at her daddy, not really having followed what was going on but recognizing him all the same, and that fist was back clutching at her heart.

Cuddy swallowed hard against the knot of emotion in her throat, searching wildly for something comforting to say and not coming up with anything that really seemed helpful. But House spoke up before she could.

"Give her kisses for me," he said quietly.

"Absolutely," she immediately agreed, bending her head to comply, pressing kisses to the baby's face until the bottle was completely dislodged from Evie's mouth, the baby giggling, eyes blinking rapidly as her face scrunched up, hands batting at Cuddy's hair.

When she pulled back House only looked marginally better. Licking her lips, she said, "We love you House. We're counting down the hours 'til we're back home with you."

He rolled his eyes in response but it took effort. Glancing down Cuddy realized that Rachel was actually falling asleep next to her, head lolling against Cuddy's side already.

Looking up at the screen again she suggested teasingly, "Sure you don't want to tell me about that shower?"

"Go to bed," he mumbled with a shake of his head, though at least his amusement was there at the edges of his eyes.

"Night House," she accepted, giving him one last soft smile.

"Night Cuddy," he replied, nodding, reaching for the keyboard to click out.

She blew him a kiss then, the last thing he saw before his screen went blank, having exited Skype. Closing the laptop, he huffed out a breath but then set it aside to go take Monster out one final time before turning in himself for the night.

* * *

August 13th, 2011

Cuddy managed to hold off on contacting House until after 1 p.m., only then giving in to her desire to send him a text. Her sister had sent him a number of pictures throughout the day but… Cuddy had gotten a little disgruntled at not being able to just communicate with him herself and so finally she just threw in the towel.

"Come for what's left of the weekend," she quickly shot off to him, wishing she'd sent this first thing this morning now that she was actually giving in to the desire to re-invite him.

His response didn't take very long. "Can't."

"You can," she countered.

"Nope. Got plans with Wilson."

"It's Wilson. Break them and come."

"Nope."

"House. Come."

"Are you trying to give me orders?" he wrote back in amusement.

"Rachel wants you."

"Liar."

"No. Really. She cried for you at naptime," she responded. After all, even if the little girl had been overtired and yet wanting a snack, her tearful plea including, _"Daddy would let me!"_ still counted. Didn't it?

"That's low," he finally wrote back a full minute later.

"So you'll come?" she hopefully texted. "I'll go online and buy you a ticket."

"Nope," House instantly shot back.

"House. "

"You've got it covered," was his response.

She didn't even have time to text him before it was followed by, "I trust you."

Cuddy sighed then, her shoulders sagging in defeat. After all, what could she really say to _that?_

"Skype me tonight," he wrote next.

"Fine!" she typed moodily, sending another text right after it that read, "Spoilsport."

House smirked but then wrote back, "Go away! I have manly things to do."

"Like what?" began her sarcastic reply. "Spitting contests and belly scratching?"

House snorted but typed back, "Can't tell. Classified. Now go away."

Cuddy's last text to him was another frown face.

* * *

House flipped through all the pictures that Julia had sent him and which he'd saved to his phone while he waited for Wilson to show up at the bowling alley. Man, he was pathetic, he internally grumbled when he stopped for the second time on the picture of a very sleepy Evie just waking up that morning, only one eye open but a smile already curling up the corner of her mouth. Strangely, he did find he trusted Cuddy. He hadn't expected that and certainly didn't think it would ever feel quite so… natural. But it did. And mainly now he just… missed them. Again. Pathetic.

Quickly shoving his phone in his pocket when he saw Wilson pushing open the door to enter he reached for his bowling bag and unzipped it to remove his ball, taking it out just as Wilson sat down beside him.

"Go buy us some hamburgers and fries," he instructed in lieu of a greeting.

Wilson cringed but whined, "Those things are a heart attack waiting to happen."

House rolled his eyes but dryly replied, "They haven't killed us yet. What? Erika have you on a diet or something?"

Wilson rolled his eyes in turn and then released a breath but nodded, it actually sounding pretty good despite how greasy he knew it would be. Standing back up he walked off to go place the order.

House's pins were being reset by the time Wilson returned and he sat down to change his shoes before selecting a ball to take his turn.

"I didn't actually expect our plans to hold," Wilson said then.

"Why? I'm in the middle of one of the most boring cases I've had in recent years," House complained. "And it's the weekend anyway. Why would I cancel?"

Wilson shrugged but then casually replied, "Just figured you'd be halfway to Cuddy's parents' house by now."

"And here we go," House grumbled under his breath, rolling his eyes again as he leaned back in his chair as if to get comfortable for the lecture to come.

Wilson took his ball and stepped up to align his throw with the pins, squinting one-eyed as he judged his swing before pulling back and releasing it, only one pin remaining upright.

"You're not going to nag me like a housewife now, are you?" House whined sneeringly when Wilson still hadn't said anything more.

"That's my job," Wilson irritably shot back at him.

An eyebrow quirked, House just waited and Wilson threw the ball, missing the last pin, and huffed before turning to his friend, hands landing on his hips as he stared House down. "What are you doing?" he finally demanded.

"Me? What are _you _doing? One pin and you can't even…"

"House!" Wilson interrupted, dropping his hands to pace briefly before heading over to where House was seated, House pushing himself upright to grab his ball and take his turn just as Wilson landed beside him.

"I _love _how seriously you take this parenting thing dad," House sarcastically remarked.

Wilson rubbed a hand over his face but then calmly managed, "So you trust her with Evie now?"

House huffed and focused on taking his turn before hedging in a mumble, "Trying to."

"Why?" Wilson asked, his arms crossing over his chest as he watched his buddy wait for his ball to be returned to him for a second go at it.

"Why not?" House responded without emotion.

Wilson looked away to try and pull his thoughts together before breathing out through his nose. He didn't have any objections to Cuddy visiting her parents with both girls. What he took issue with was what underlying meaning was to be found in this. "Is it making you crazy? Having Evie so far away?" he finally inquired.

House shot a look at him as they switched places, it being Wilson's turn to knock some pins down. "Nope. I'm living it up. No responsibilities. Nothing required of me," he stated convincingly enough, had Wilson not known him a long time and been there for everything following House's return to PPTH almost two years ago now.

"Oh, it's killing you," Wilson said smiling now, genuinely pleased by this information, obviously interpreting it as it suited him.

House rolled his eyes but didn't bother replying as his friend made a contemplative face and nodded as if appeased.

"So I imagine you're calling all the time to keep tabs on them," Wilson continued almost smugly. "Or maybe you've got Cuddy's mom sending you hourly updates to keep you informed. What are Cuddy and the girls up to?"

House didn't bother to correct the impression Wilson had of things. Instead he just grunted out what Cuddy and Rachel had told him the night before, along with the conclusions he'd come to based on the pictures Julia continued to send his way even without him asking her to.

His phone went off then and he pulled it out of his pocket just as their food was delivered to them. Opening it he found that this time Julia had sent him a video. Unable to resist he hit the button to play it and Evie's piercing shriek startled him before the camera focused on her, a bib tied around her neck, the baby bursting into a string of giggles, naughtily spitting peas everywhere in the next second, her tongue vibrating against her lips as Cuddy tried to admonish her and cajole her into actually swallowing more, the sound of Evelyn scolding Richard for apparently finding his granddaughter amusing also coming to House's ears.

"Who's that from?" Wilson asked from over his shoulder, apparently having caught the tail end of the video.

"Cuddy's sister," House replied, tucking the phone back into his pocket, smirking at the handful his daughter was being.

"You've even got Cuddy's _sister _spying for you?" Wilson asked in disbelief, though his tone indicated he found this just rich.

House didn't bother answering the question, knowing Wilson would take that as an answer in itself and okay with that. Clearly a know-it-all Wilson would be easier to deal with than a concerned one. That'd save him from a conversation about _feelings. Ugh._

Turning, he grabbed a few fries and shoved them in his mouth before changing the subject.

* * *

By the time House got home and was able to Skype the girls were sound asleep, having conked out early after a busy day, the Cuddy women having taken them to a nearby petting zoo after dinner, leaving Richard behind to try and make some progress in packing up his workshop without Rachel underfoot, who had taken to following him around, wanting to do whatever he was in the middle of doing.

It had been obvious that Cuddy felt terrible about House not being able to talk with Rachel but she had made sure he could see the girls sleeping on the bed behind her while they talked. He had been the one to end the conversation, Cuddy's exhaustion being evident, not wanting to keep her up when really, what was there to say? He didn't exactly want to talk about Wilson and other than cute anecdotes regarding the girls, Cuddy didn't have much to say either, House's slight disappointment at missing the opportunity to talk with the girls making her ache. So she'd offered to change their tickets and have them on a plane home by the very next afternoon. But House had shot that idea down immediately.

"I feel like you're punishing me," she'd murmured at one point, looking away from the screen to try and keep herself from crying.

House stared at her, his mouth gaping in bewilderment, so _far_ from being able to understand where this was coming from that it took him time to come up with a reply.

"How does that make _any sense?_" he'd finally managed to ask incredulously.

Cuddy bit her lip but then reestablished eye contact before looking down, not answering.

House huffed but countered, "It'd make more sense if you'd said it felt like I was punishing _myself._"

"And that's supposed to make me feel better?" she'd immediately shot back, her eyes flashing angrily as she met his gaze again. "You think that doesn't hurt me even more than if you were telling me to stay here in order to punish _me?"_

House had stared at her, completely stunned by her outburst. When she dropped her eyes again, sighing before reaching up to push her hair back and away from her face, he'd quietly probed, "Are you not having a good time? Did something happen? Someone say something to you that bothered you?"

She'd huffed and immediately replied, "_No. _It's… it's not that. I'm really enjoying my time with mom and dad. Julia too. Maybe… maybe _especially _Julia. And the girls have been perfect angels. Despite how spoiled they've been by all the attention being poured out upon them. But…" Shoulders dropping, she finally just mumbled, "I worry that I'm hurting you by being here."

"I chose this," he'd immediately admonished. "I arranged for you to go with the girls. You aren't doing anything _to_ me at all."

Cuddy had pursed her mouth, regarding him, her head tilted down so that she did it through her eyelashes.

"You're just tired," House had said then, almost soothingly. "You need to get some sleep."

Cuddy twitched her mouth to the side before sighing. "I am tired," she'd agreed. "And maybe it's making me emotional," she'd started to say.

"_Maybe?"_ House had instantly echoed dryly, though she could tell by the smile on his face that he wasn't trying to make her defensive as much as cajole her a little.

She did manage a smile then before honestly confessing, "I feel like a part of me is missing. An… important part. You're not here. You're there. And…"

"You're _really tired,_" he'd interrupted again to interject, eyeing her skeptically. "And maybe you should have your mom make sure you aren't coming down with something."

"I'm not getting sick, House. And before you say it, it's not that time of the month, either. Don't make fun of me. I'm being honest. And you're… _dismissing my feelings like…_" she'd irritably gritted out.

Needing to calm her down before she got any more worked up, her face already coloring in frustration, House had expelled out another breath, catching her attention and shutting her up before he'd admitted against everything within him _not _wanting to voice this, "I miss you too, Cuddy."

Cuddy drew back, her surprise abolishing all her irritation. "You miss me? Not the girls? _Me?"_ she'd clarified, sounding taken aback.

"Obviously I miss the girls," he'd grunted with an eye roll before looking away, rolling his eyes again, this time in something resembling embarrassment before he'd grumpily disclosed in exasperation, "But I miss you too."

Cuddy had fallen silent for a time, watching him as he refused to make eye contact with her. She worried her lip for a moment before saying softly, "I love you House. I love you so much."

He'd rubbed a hand over his face as if totally put out and then skeptically eyed her before dryly muttering, "Please tell me you're not going to make me say _that._"

She'd laughed at him then, clearly feeling better, though not enough to mask her weariness.

She'd still been biting her lip, watching him, so House had rolled his eyes before wryly informing her, "If you keep abusing your lip like that, come Monday night I won't be able to kiss you."

Cuddy had released it accordingly but only to prompt, "Do you still love me House?"

"_Castrate me now,"_ he deflected again without thinking.

"I'm pretty sure you already think I've done tha…" Cuddy began to retort before even _she_ caught herself touching upon an undoubtedly touchy subject.

They both stared at each other, House stunned, Cuddy aghast.

But before she could do more than swallow harshly, her eyes reflecting her misery, obviously heading towards a bawl-fest, House released a choked laugh, shocking her further.

It was right there, ready to be said. _"I see what you did there."_ And if it had been even five years ago, he so would have. But there was no doubt in his mind if he said it the night would still end with her crying and if there was one thing he didn't want, it was for _that _to happen.

Instead he laughed again and flippantly said, "Oh, you are _so _in need of sleep!"

Cuddy rubbed a hand over her face, still horrified but somewhat relieved at the same time that he wasn't pissed with her or upset and disconnecting the call.

"I love you. _Still_," he'd even included dryly for her benefit, giving her a look like he hated himself for verbalizing it. "_Now _will you go to bed?" he'd wryly added with a crooked eyebrow.

She'd sucked in a breath to say something but he'd cut her off. "_Before _you say something else that has me weeping into my pillow tonight?" he'd almost jovially thrown in, practically laughing at her.

"Maybe I better," she'd agreed with a slightly chagrined smile, though her stomach was still tossing at what she'd said without meaning to.

He'd shaken his head at her in amusement and then dryly huffed out a "Night Cuddy."

"Can we Skype in the morning? Once the girls are awake? I mean, you can sleep in if you want but… when you're awake?" she'd asked hopefully.

He'd pursed his mouth but didn't bother hiding his smile, rolling his eyes again for her benefit. "I'll text you when I'm awake," he'd replied as if he was doing her a favor.

"Okay," she'd accepted readily, nodding. "Night House."

And House had disconnected the call breathing out a disbelieving puff of air before clicking the television on to see if he was missing anything good on the tube.

* * *

August 14th, 2011

By the next night House was regretting having told Cuddy to _not _change the tickets and come home early. Two days in this empty house and he was going a little stir-crazy. He'd taken his motorcycle out for a while after Skyping with Cuddy and the girls, because really, how often did that opportunity come his way these days? Then he'd grabbed lunch at a diner about an hour's ride from home and gotten back only to have Erika step outside with an invitation to dinner. That had helped too. But afterwards he'd gone back home, turning down an invitation to stay for a movie because he wanted to be home if Cuddy called to Skype again and within an hour he was watching the clock, wondering what she and the girls were up to and if _he _shouldn't contact her to Skype before the girls crashed for the night.

If he _cared _about impressing Nolan, he might have actually been proud of himself, having survived this test of trust. But since he didn't he found himself just irritated and crankily wishing his family would hurry up and come home. Because it kinda sucked. It was a waste of a weekend. And how pathetic was it that his attitude did a 180 when the text came telling him Cuddy was online?

* * *

"_**Ain't no sunshine when she's gone  
It's not warm when she's away  
Ain't no sunshine when she's gone  
And she's always gone too long anytime she goes away**_

_**Wonder this time where she's gone**_  
_**Wonder if she's gone to stay**_  
_**Ain't no sunshine when she's gone**_  
_**And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away**_

_**And I know, I know, I know, I know, I know**_  
_**I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know**_  
_**I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know**_  
_**I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know**_

_**Hey, I ought to leave the young thing alone**_  
_**But ain't no sunshine when she's gone, only darkness every day**_  
_**Ain't no sunshine when she's gone**_  
_**And this house just ain't no home anytime she goes away**_

_**Anytime she goes away**_  
_**Anytime she goes away**_  
_**Anytime she goes away**_  
_**Anytime she goes away"**_

* * *

Song: "Ain't No Sunshine" (James Taylor)


	111. Open Arms

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Another chapter, anyone? Or am I updating TOO often now? :) Ruining the anticipation, perhaps? Hmm...)_

* * *

August 15th, 2011

Cuddy walked in the front door of the house with Rachel holding her hand and Evie on her hip, thoroughly exhausted from the effort it took to travel alone with two small children. House came out of the kitchen having just gotten home himself, his face reflecting his surprise and what really caught Cuddy off-guard, startlingly obvious unsuppressed pleasure to see them, a broad smile there unlike any she'd ever seen on his face before, and Rachel screamed _"Daddy!"_ before running to him, throwing herself upon him with her own fierce display of joy. He laughed as he picked her up and tossed her up in the air until she giggled before setting her down again, now reaching for Evie. He immediately buried his nose in her neck, rubbing her with his scruff as she squirmed and shrieked happily, her hands clutching onto his shirt while Rachel took off to see Cookie Monster. House chuckled but then focused his attention on Cuddy, almost like he was… drinking in the sight of her she realized, her heart stuttering at the thought.

"What are you doing here? Your plane isn't supposed to arrive for another three hours," he asked incredulously, his eyebrows knitted.

"We took an earlier flight," she said with a shrug, pleased with how their arrival had gone over.

"But how'd you get home?" he pressed in confusion, having intended to leave in another hour to go get them.

"I just rented a car. Thankfully they had car seats to rent too. I paid for them to come retrieve it tomorrow morning from the driveway. Just have to leave the keys in the glove compartment. I wanted to surprise you," she added contentedly, rolling her neck to loosen the muscles there, her weariness from the trip returning to her.

"You look wiped," he stated then, an eyebrow quirked as he approached with Evie babbling happily against his chest.

"I am," she admitted as she carelessly kicked her heels off. Wearing heels had been a really poor judgment call she thought to herself before looking up to smile wryly at House. "As if getting off the plane with two kids, a stroller and several carry-on's wasn't complicated enough, going through baggage claim was a nightmare. Rachel kept trying to climb out of the stroller and Evie was whiny from being cooped up so long. And if that wasn't enough of a challenge I also had the added adventure of locating our suitcase, removing it from the carousel amidst the masses of pushy travelers and then dragging it along behind us after a wheel broke, the thing lurching and bumping into me until I could get us to the rental counter."

"I'll go get it from the car for you," he offered, settling Evie down on the floor.

"Thanks," she gratefully replied, passing him the rental car key, one hand rubbing her tired face before she made her way over to the couch to sit down just as Rachel came running back with Cookie Monster trailing her, detouring to lick the baby who giggled and batted at him until he took off to jump up against Cuddy's legs, looking for more attention, Rachel scrambling up on the couch beside her and Evie heading determinedly for them all, though her eyes were intently upon the puppy.

House brought the suitcase in a moment later and carted it upstairs to her room before returning to the living room and sinking into the couch beside her. Rachel scrambled into his lap and he tickled her until she ran off to play with her toys, Cookie Monster getting his belly rubbed by Cuddy, Evie now pulling herself to a stand against her daddy's leg. "How was your trip?" he asked as if they hadn't spoken at all over the course of the weekend, his arm going up to rest on the couch behind Cuddy's head after pulling Evie up into his lap.

Cuddy turned to look at him, smiling affectionately at how Evie was leaning back against his chest, one fist in her mouth as she tugged at her sock, trying to pull it off without success. Scooting closer so as to lean into his side, her head resting on his shoulder, Cuddy sighed and said, "Good. The girls had a great time. My mom and dad spoiled them rotten. Seriously. To the point that we might have to establish guidelines when they live closer so that our children don't turn into little monsters."

"One monster is enough," House dryly quipped, watching Cookie Monster run off to come back a minute later with a chew toy, plopping down at his feet with it. "Did you have a good time?" he asked then, even though he knew the answer.

She reached back to catch his hand and draped it more around her so that his fingers fell on her arm, squeezing his hand briefly before releasing it. "Yeah. It was nice to spend some time with my parents and sister and to have that time with the girls, as well. And obviously, as much as I'm going to hate facing my desk and all that's probably waiting for me there tomorrow, it was wonderful to have a few days away from the hospital."

"But?" he probed knowingly, wanting to get to the good part.

"I don't know," Cuddy said softly. "I missed being home. I kind of enjoy it being just our family."

House smiled at that, pleased by her words. "And obviously you missed me like crazy," he couldn't help adding with a smirk.

Cuddy laughed but all the same fed his ego by admitting, "It wasn't the same without you. Nothing's the same without you. I missed you, yes," she finished without apology, her head still tucked down into his chest and now nuzzling him playfully.

"You didn't kiss me when you came in the door," he said pointedly, doing his best to keep his tone even.

Cuddy released his hand to pull away from him until she could see his face, realizing that was true. She'd been too caught up in watching him with the girls. "You want me to kiss you?" she asked, a smile playing on her lips because so often it was her initiating, not him asking for one.

"I didn't say that," he mumbled grumpily, pulling his arm free as if to get to his feet.

"But you want me to?" she inquired teasingly, keeping him where he was at by tugging him back down before he could really push himself upright.

"Forget I said anything," he huffed as if genuinely irked, actually succeeding in getting to his feet with Evie this time, walking away from her and into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water, Cookie Monster leaving his toy behind to chase after him.

Cuddy got to her feet and followed him, laughing. She'd been gone four days. She was willing to do a little chasing if that's what he wanted from her. When he turned around and faced her, pouting moodily, she reached for him, her hands caressing the scruff on each side of his jaw. Then she bit her lip and drew his head down until their eyes met. "Do you want a kiss?" she asked quietly, her breath heating his neck with each word, seeing how far she could push back.

"I shouldn't have to ask," House grumbled, causing Cuddy to roll her eyes.

"Oh, you're so frustrating," she mumbled before standing on her tiptoes and pulling his head down slightly to meet his mouth with her own while being careful of Evie. She kissed him, her lips lingering on his for a moment before she released him and dropped back down to stand flat on her feet.

"Were you lonely?" she asked then, wanting to see what kinds of confessions _she_ could get.

"It's quiet in the house without you and the girls," he acknowledged, back to pouting, surprising her entirely when he adjusted Evie against his shoulder so that he could somehow wrap an arm around Cuddy in a loose embrace, bringing her in to his side.

"You missed the girls?" Cuddy asked, her mouth curving up in a barely contained grin.

House looked away and shrugged but she knew he had, he'd already confessed that via Skype, and so her smile grew in response to the unspoken but nevertheless true fact.

"Did you miss me?" she inquired next as she slipped her arms underneath his armpits to wrap around him, hugging him and tightening the embrace.

"No. I just told you I did to shut you up the other day. Miss your nagging?" he continued sarcastically. "Not a chance!"

Cuddy's head whipped up, a scowl marring her countenance. "I don't nag!" she flung back at him, half-tempted to pinch him and hard.

He wrinkled his nose and smugly informed her, "You're incredibly difficult to live with Cuddy. You're demanding. You're a slob. You make me do all the work around here. Thankfully I have Gerta to help out once a week, picking up after you, but seriously, it was a relief to be rid of you for a few days."

"House," she said icily, a warning threaded through each word. "Take it back and admit you missed me!"

He looked at her skeptically. "Can't say what isn't true."

Her jaw clenched and her eyes narrowed before she actually, yeah, _went there,_ willing to test him after what she'd already said the other night quite by accident and yet had somehow been allowed to get away with, his reaction to her slip of the tongue having differed drastically from her own, something she'd thought over quite a bit in the time since. "Say you missed me or I'll hurt you where it will hurt most and make it so that even if you wanted to use that part of your anatomy, you wouldn't be able to," she managed with a daring smirk, punctuating her statement with, _"Ever. Again."_

House looked at her with surprise but chuckled a beat later and dryly commented, "That has the potential of hurting you just as much as it would hurt me."

"Right now I'm willing to accept that," Cuddy said through her teeth, taking the baby from him.

He doubted that very much but when he felt her knee draw up ever so slightly he nevertheless instantly appeased, "I missed you, Cuddy. I missed you while you were gone."

"Why did you miss me?" she asked, her voice sickeningly sweet though her knee rubbed against the inside of his leg, making the message all too clear that he was still in danger and yet in a manner that was also flirtatious.

House grimaced but indulged her to the point of horrifying himself afterwards. "Because it's not the same without you around. Because the house feels too empty and I can't stop thinking about you and what you're probably doing and what I'm missing out on."

Did he really just say that? House asked himself, thoroughly disgusted. _Ugh._

Cuddy smiled and burrowed into his chest, enjoying his nearness. "I'm irresistible," she contentedly murmured, breathing him in.

"Well, this part of your anatomy anyway," he dryly remarked, one hand sliding down her back to cup her derriere.

She sucked in a breath at the contact but then managed to laugh lightly, otherwise not responding, allowing his hand to linger there, Evie's presence in her arms and the lightness of their banter enough to keep her desire for him under wraps for the present anyway.

And then out of nowhere House sternly commanded, "Now get to work woman and make me some dinner!" and in the exact same moment his hand dropped from her only to pull back and slap her hard in the same spot the very next second, startling her.

Cuddy yelped and released him, pulling away enough to smack him in the chest, her other arm tightening reflexively around Evie until she relaxed it intentionally so as not to hurt her. "That hurt!" she declared, her hand then going to rub her now stinging skin.

House laughed and stepped out of her reach in case she tried to hit him again. "Come on. It's almost six thirty and I'm starving," he whined. "I haven't had a decent meal since you left. Get to it."

She turned to shoot a glare at him, still rubbing her rear. "First of all, I know that's not true because you ate at Erika's yesterday. And secondly, even if that were true it wouldn't be my fault. You know how to cook. You can take care of yourself."

"But it's no fun cooking for one person," he complained.

"Well then, now that we're back you don't have to cook for one. You can cook for four," Cuddy smugly pronounced, a second later muttering almost resentfully, "You're a better cook than I am, anyway."

"But I want to spend time with the girls," he wheedled. "I haven't been with them in four days."

She sighed, her lips pursing, but she passed Evie back to him and then reached for the pantry door, nonverbally consenting to make dinner.

House smiled and moved closer to her, his hand coming up to rub the spot her hand had just abandoned.

"Don't touch me," she hotly declared despite her surprise at how he was caressing her and _where_, doing her best to act put out.

House patted her butt with affection then and Cuddy cast him a sharp glance over her shoulder, her temperature climbing at his attentions. "House," she muttered, "Go spend time with the girls. Quit trying to start something that you aren't about to finish."

House laughed, not offended in the least by what she'd said but actually rather amused by her comment. After giving her one final pat he turned and left the kitchen, throwing her a smirk before disappearing from view, calling Rachel's name.

She watched him go, pursing her lips before she smiled wryly.

* * *

August 19th, 2011

The following Friday night House left the girls with Cuddy at the house and went out to go grocery-shopping, knowing there'd be more junk food in the house if he went than if he sent Cuddy to do it, something that he'd told Cuddy when she'd offered to go in his stead, receiving an eye roll and a shake of her head for his commentary.

He entered the house afterwards, kicking the door shut behind him as his arms were loaded down with bags and then looked up to find Cuddy waiting for him.

"What?" he asked, passing her to set the grocery bags on the island before intending to go back out for the rest of them. "Where are the girls?"

"Evie fell asleep so I laid her down and Rachel's playing in the living room," she informed him before biting her lip and asking, "House, when you got home did you check the answering machine?"

House glanced that way and noted the blinking light. "No," he replied, shaking his head. "Why?"

"The lawyer called," she murmured then.

He paused just as he was about to go around the corner. By _"the lawyer"_ he knew Cuddy meant the one who'd helped her to adopt Rachel and who she'd suggested he use to file his paperwork when he'd had it ready several weeks back now. "What did he say?" he finally asked her, a band constricting on his chest at the way she was looking at him, suddenly wondering if he'd been rejected even before being called before a judge.

"I didn't listen to it," she quickly denied, looking at him like he'd grown another head.

"Why not?" he now inquired, an eyebrow raised as he stared at her, relieved in part to know that he didn't have a reason yet to fear being rejected as a viable candidate for fatherhood where Rachel was concerned.

"I don't listen to your messages. I just… just glanced at the caller I.D. to see if it might have been for me or something urgent," she replied as if _he _was the crazy one.

Scoffing, he rolled his eyes but drolly said, "You live here Cuddy. I don't care if you check the answering machine. You should."

"Could you just hit the play button?" she redirected anxiously, clasping her hands now.

House looked at her for a moment but nodded and doubled back to hit the button only to pause and first ask her worriedly without looking back, "Can they turn me down and somehow force you to move out with Rachel?"

"No," she was quick to adamantly reassure before exasperatedly saying, "_House. _Now hit the button and put us both out of our misery."

"Okay," he managed to agree and hit the button as she'd instructed, listening with apprehension and then relief as the lawyer announced that things were moving quicker than he'd expected and a family court date had already been scheduled for September 12th at 9 a.m., no home visit being required, just asking for a callback to confirm everything.

House released the breath he'd suddenly found himself holding just as Cuddy laughed her own relief, relaxing against the counter she'd been clasping onto. Realizing he wasn't going to turn around any time soon, whether because he was overcome or just needed time to process, she walked to him, hesitantly wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her cheek to his back before laughing again.

"You can breathe now," she teased, stroking one hand up his chest, patting him there a second later but then releasing him to go retrieve what remained of the groceries herself, leaving him where he stood, giving him a bit more time to collect his thoughts.

"Daddy," Rachel called after running into the kitchen, Cookie Monster behind her. "Ebie awake. She want you."

House turned, nodding, and then followed Rachel as she skipped from the room, catching her and swinging her up into his arms causing her to giggle and shriek before they entered the baby's room to free her sister from the crib Evie was already banging on in hopes of being set free.

* * *

August 26th, 2011

House chuckled at hearing Cuddy enter the house and shut the door with more force than necessary, it being the second night in a row for her to do that.

"Sorry," she muttered as she came into view, throwing him a semi-apologetic glance before pressing a kiss to Evie's forehead where she sat in the highchair eating Cheerios.

"Well I know you're not ovulating so what's your problem?" House asked with a grin.

Cuddy shot him a dirty look and he straightened at that response, not typically being able to get under Cuddy's skin so easily of late, quirking an eyebrow at her in the next instant and without any hesitation jibing, "Ooh, someone's got her panties in a twist."

"Mommy!" Rachel yelled, racing into the room to throw herself at Cuddy's legs, distracting her from the almost mutinous glare she had given him at his last quip. "You're home!"

Cuddy huffed out a breath but then knelt down to receive a hug, looking slightly abashed for her irritation when she next met House's gaze. Straightening, she ran her fingers through Rachel's hair more to calm herself than anything.

"I ordered Chinese so I hope that works for you," House said then, changing the subject as it didn't really appear Cuddy wanted to talk about whatever was up with her. "Rachel wants to have a picnic and eat up in the clubhouse. I somehow got roped into agreeing to that," he concluded with an eye roll.

"Okay. I'm going to go change then," Cuddy replied, turning to head for the stairs.

"Okay," he responded with a shrug before turning in the next second as the doorbell sounded, following Cuddy from the kitchen but detouring when she went upstairs to head for the door, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket.

Five minutes later he passed Evie to her when she reentered the kitchen and then carried outside the first armload of supplies before returning to get drinks and the bag containing their dinner, Rachel already scrambling up into the clubhouse, Cuddy following with the baby. Once they were all settled and Evie was securely fastened in the little booster seat they had picked up for her a few weeks back, House dished up plates for everyone minus Evie who just ate whatever they placed on the tray before her.

Quirking an eyebrow pointedly at Cuddy he then pressed, "So?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes but released a little puff of air before resignedly saying, "Dr. Thomas threw a fit today and then rendered his resignation. With mom and dad moving in Sunday I'd hoped to spend tomorrow at the house packing up what I just haven't found time to so that they'd have more space available to them. Now I have to go into work tomorrow at least for a few hours in the morning to try and straighten out the mess he's left for me."

House immediately made a face. "Thomas is an…"

Cuddy cut him off by clearing her throat, interrupting him to tilt her head towards Rachel, knowing his thoughts regarding Dr. Thomas and sharing them but not needing Rachel to hear what House thought of the man.

He raised an eyebrow at her like _she _was an idiot for thinking he wasn't aware of who might be listening. Rolling his eyes, he dryly redirected, "_Anyway… _Seriously, how long have you been waiting for the opportunity to replace him with someone you can actually stand? Someone who isn't bloated by his own sense of self-importance and who can get the job done without you having to kiss… up to him all the time? Someone _you've _hand-picked? Someone who will at least hold some measure of respect for you? Why is this not cause for celebration?"

"_No,_" she drew out with some exasperation. "You're right. That _is _cause for celebration. I thought I'd be stuck with him until his retirement. I'm happy to be rid of him, or at least, I will be once this is behind me. But my point is that he's screwed over my weekend. Obviously _that_ doesn't make me happy and on top of that I have to hurry up and pick a replacement. Someone the Board will approve or I'll have even more to deal with."

"I thought your parents were going to store the majority of their stuff for the time being, anyway?" he asked then.

"They are," she replied, turning to give Rachel more rice before throwing him a glance and continuing. "But I'd still like to box up what I can to make it easier for them; the stuff they won't use regardless."

"But I thought your mom already said she'd do that when they moved in?" he pushed, viewing this as her creating more stress for herself than necessary.

"Yes House," she affirmed, mildly irritated with _him_ now. "But that doesn't mean I wouldn't prefer to do it myself. It doesn't mean I wouldn't rather have it done with so that they can move in and set up house the way they want to without stressing over whether I'll be offended or something if they move my things around."

House snorted and she waved her hand dismissively. "Just forget it," she murmured before amusing him by taking an overly ambitious bite as if it would shut _him _up.

He pursed his mouth but when she next looked at him, offered, "I could unload the girls on Wilson and do whatever you need me to at your house for you while you go in to PPTH."

"Send you to my house _alone?_" she queried dryly.

"Why not?" he countered with a shrug.

"And have you spend your time digging through _my_ drawers?" she replied sarcastically after she'd swallowed.

"You've already implied you like when I do that," he shot back with a smirk, not understanding why she wasn't just snapping up his offer before he could change his mind. "Regardless I'm pretty sure the majority of your panty collection is already upstairs."

"It is," she agreed. "But in any case I'm not going to make you spend time boxing up my things for me, as generous as it is of you to offer Wilson up as a sacrificial lamb."

House rolled his eyes before saying, "It's not like I'm offering to have _him _pack for you."

"Only because it didn't occur to you," she muttered with a pointed look.

"Eh, he wouldn't have agreed to do that anyway. He'd have countered with an offer to watch the girls instead. And so really, by just suggesting he watch them I'm cutting down on a waste of conversation and saving us all the go-around," he informed her. "Especially as _this_ conversation's already losing my interest."

Cuddy ignored him and he bit into an egg roll, chewing it before extending her another option. "Here's an idea. You can go to your house and pack whatever you want to, dig through your own panty drawer, and _I'll _go to PPTH in your stead and appoint a successor to Thomas's position while_ Erika_ watches the girls."

Cuddy laughed, shaking her head at him. "Yeah, that'd be great. Then I'd potentially find myself trapped with someone even _worse _than Thomas, someone handpicked by _you._"

"You could do worse than someone chosen by me," he disputed. "Just because I would suck as an administrator, doesn't mean I am clueless when it comes to knowing how to hire someone."

She laughed again, rubbing a hand over her face, a little more of her stress melting away. "Yeah, except within twenty minutes of arriving there you'd hire the first person you ran into so that you could just go home."

"Not true," he argued conversationally. "When have I ever made hasty decisions while hiring?"

"_Okay_," she agreed sarcastically, "Well, let's just think about that. You're right. But taking that into consideration, it could be _weeks _before you settle on just _one _replacement, test-driving as many candidates for the position as possible like you did when you were instructed to hire replacement fellows."

"Well see? Not hasty. There you go. And I wasn't hasty when you wanted me to pick you a sperm donor either," he volunteered as further support of his cause.

"Except in that scenario you wouldn't choose _anyone,_" she disbelievingly contested before adding in her own defense. "And besides, I didn't _ask _you to choose one. I asked you for your opinion. Big difference."

"And we both remember who _you _were planning to choose, had I not put an end to _that _hasty decision on your part," he pointed out, his eyes narrowed as he stared at her, put out by her lack of faith in him now.

"House," she resignedly mumbled, setting down her fork to rake both hands back through her hair, unable to believe they were even having this argument of sorts. "Fine," she relented somewhat, giving him a pointed look. "Who would you hire if you were in my shoes, just going by who you remember from PPTH? Assumingyou know anyone who worked there _by name_."

"Because if I described them you don't think you're intelligent enough to figure out who I am referring to?" he asked, returning a droll look.

"Just tell me," she mumbled, shaking her head again.

House paused, setting down his fork to take a drink of his Coke, mulling it over. After a few minutes of debating, Cuddy taking care of the girls' needs while he thought, he shook his head and replied, "I wouldn't start with people already at PPTH. I would imagine you already have them in the positions they're in for a reason. I'd call Stanley Kempis over at St. Peter's; see if he's interested. His age is just right and he's not _insufferable._"

Cuddy stared at him, surprised that he'd not only been able to give her a name but someone who was actually… a decent choice, assuming she could lure him into taking the position.

"What makes you think he'd be interested?" she couldn't help pursuing.

House shrugged. "He was at the conference. I wasn't really paying attention because why would I _care _but I heard him casually asking around about programs at various hospitals. Made me think he might be ready for a change."

Cuddy pursed her lips in thought and House smirked in response, causing her to roll her eyes at how smug he now was before she argued, "But you were supposed to name someone from Princeton-Plainsboro."

He rolled his eyes now but flippantly proffered, "Then instate Myrna Chang in Thomas's place. She's qualified. Her kids have to be old enough now where she'd at least consider taking the position if you made it worth her while. And how hard would _that _be? She's pragmatic. And you'd be saving the hospital money anyway by filling the post with anyone who _isn't_ Thomas. You couldn't find anyone else in existence with his sense of self-entitlement or tendency for making ridiculous demands. Except for me maybe. And hey, another plus, you'd cut down on the time you used to spend haggling with him. See? I've given you two viable options without any effort. I even used their names, scoring me extra points. I should be getting paid for this. Yeah. I'm going to invoice you for a consulting fee. I cost a fortune."

Cuddy genuinely laughed, her stress suddenly seeming unnecessary, and yet didn't counter any of what he'd said. "I'll pay you in fortune cookies," she offered instead, biting back a grin.

"Which _I _paid for," he huffed. "No deal."

"Daddy, me talk now?" Rachel asked him hopefully, tugging on his arm to gain his attention.

House dropped his gaze to her and then suspiciously eyed Cuddy in turn. "Are you going behind my back and teaching her _manners?_"

"Yeah, because that would qualify me as a _horrible_ mother," Cuddy retorted sarcastically. "Heaven forbid Rachel learn not to interrupt but to wait patiently for others to finish talking first."

Sternly redirecting his attention to Rachel, he instructed, "Whenever mommy tells you to do something because it's _polite _or good _manners, _you should immediately go and do the exact opposite. Daddy gives you permission."

Cuddy gasped but then reached out and thwacked his arm, her mouth still open in disbelief when he looked back at her in astonishment.

"You like to smack me around a lot lately," he complained then.

"Well clearly it isn't doing a whole lot of _good,_" she dryly replied. "Maybe I need to hit you _harder._"

"Now see Rachel, this is why we don't pay much attention to mommy," he joked. "She hits me and what do we _all _know? Hitting isn't allowed."

"House!" Cuddy scolded, obviously not for what he'd stated last because… he had a point, but definitely in protest to what he'd led with.

"What does mommy need to do now?" he asked Rachel somberly, ignoring Cuddy completely.

"Say sorry," she informed him somberly, nodding with her daddy when he nodded his agreement.

"Exactly," he confirmed.

House slowly turned to look at Cuddy, clearly waiting for an apology, and she huffed out a breath when Rachel followed his example and peered up into her face expectantly.

"I'm sorry," she finally said without much conviction.

But apparently House was satisfied because he mockingly said in a sickeningly sweet tone, "That's a good mommy."

"Now go for it kid. What did you want to say?" he asked, refocusing on Rachel while Cuddy huffed out a breath.

"Me done. I have a cookie now?" she asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes at him as if that was even necessary. Although he had to admit, when she looked at him like that he probably tended to slip her an extra cookie as an unintended reward.

"Yeah," he replied before slyly adding, "Mommy will go get you one."

"House!" she exclaimed in exasperation, throwing her napkin at him before laughing.

"What?" he innocently asked. "I'm cramped in here. This clubhouse wasn't exactly built with me in mind. If I try and leave now I'll probably fall and break something. Then you wouldn't be able to go in to work tomorrow and call up the people _I _suggested to see if they'd be interested in the position and line up interviews. You'd have to stay home and take care of me. Probably become my full-time nurse," he threw in for good measure, waggling his eyebrows at her.

"Maybe you'd fall on your head and that would knock some sense into you," she dryly replied before scooting to climb down from the clubhouse, knowing as House had that Rachel wasn't asking for a fortune cookie.

"Not nice, mommy. Not nice at all," she heard him say sing-song_ishly_ as she walked towards the house. "But when you come back here I'll give you a list of who could take _your _position at PPTH in case you should ever need to nurse me back to health. I'll even start thinking up what uniform I'd have you wear."

Cuddy shook her head but didn't bother to gift him with a response, knowing he didn't need any encouragement, his willingness to test the bounds of his comfort zone and say things he hadn't been inclined to in a while, a newer development. Not that she was complaining.

* * *

"Rachel asleep?" Cuddy asked when she found House in the kitchen after putting Evie to bed.

"Yeah," he acknowledged with a yawn. "Evie?"

"Uh-huh," she replied, reaching into a cupboard to pull out a teabag before turning a burner on to heat water for it.

He set his empty water glass in the sink and then turned to watch her go about her chosen method of relaxation in preparation for going to bed. "Are you still stressing about the packing thing?" he inquired.

She looked in his direction and then came towards him, opening the cabinet beside him to retrieve a mug, House turning to retrieve the one she wanted since last weekend for lack of space he'd placed it on a shelf that was just out of her reach when her heels were missing from the equation, knowing exactly which one she was after now because she was still kind of anal and sometimes borderline OCD he amused himself in thinking, seeming to prefer a certain one depending on the mood she was in.

"Thanks," she accepted with a grateful smile.

He shrugged, it not having required any great effort on his part.

"I don't know," she finally answered, waiting for her water to boil, leaning against the counter beside him. "I shouldn't have to be at work as long tomorrow as I thought I would. I'll even give you credit for that," she added with a smile before turning serious again. "I was too pissed off at Thomas when I left work to even allow my thoughts to drift in the direction of who I'd hire in his place. But I really would like to make some progress on boxing stuff up and clearing space before they arrive."

It wasn't normally something he'd ever offer _without _having ulterior motives, so when he did and for the second time it came out somewhat awkwardly, as if he was embarrassed to voice it. "I could… come with and be your heavy lifter if you wanted."

"That's an offer I never would have expected to leave your mouth," she teased. "At least not without some underlying sexual meaning related somehow to my anatomy."

House smirked at that but dryly replied, "Yeah well maybe I'm just looking for more ways to score points with you."

Cuddy just quirked an eyebrow at him dubiously. "And why would that be necessary?" she finally inquired when he didn't say anything more, following it up with, "What'd you do?"

"Nothing," he defended with an eye roll, realizing his error in mentioning something about earning points for the second time in a few hours but too late to avoid it now.

When she still waited for him to explain, her expression now skeptical, he restated adamantly, "I didn't do anything, Cuddy."

"Well, except tell Rachel tonight that she shouldn't listen to me," she muttered, pushing off from the counter as the water in the kettle reached a boiling point.

"I didn't say that," House laughingly corrected. "I said she should do _the opposite_ of whatever you told her."

"Well thanks so much for co-parenting with me and backing me up," she declared with an eye roll.

"Alright. Geesh. I'll… tell her tomorrow that she should _always _do _exactly _as you say. Happy?" he grumbled.

Cuddy tested the temperature of her tea, warming her hands with her mug but finding it still too hot to drink. Smiling indulgently at him, she returned determinedly to his earlier statement. "Why do you need to score points with me, House?"

He pouted like a child, not meeting her gaze, and one eyebrow rose as she watched him expectantly.

Finally he just gave up trying to escape answering the question. As nonchalantly as he could he shrugged and mumbled, "You ran out the door this morning with barely a backwards glance and then when you came home you kissed the girls but went upstairs to change without even..."

Cuddy continued watching him, a smile curving her lips as she waited for him to complete that statement, somewhat amused by this. "For someone who, of the two of us, is more likely to retain control and not get carried away; someone who has described kissing me as _'nice'_, you surprisingly keep track of the few occasions when kissing you somehow slips my mind."

When House didn't immediately volley a retort back at her or seek to make himself seem more pathetic in an effort to get her to kiss him, she frowned, her forehead knitting when she was unable to figure out the tells of his expression. He threw her completely when he turned away, casually saying, "Yeah, I get it."

"Well clearly _I _don't," she was quick to express without any venom, simply confused, moistening her lips before setting her mug aside to focus 100% on him and whatever he was trying to say or… interpreting her to mean. "House?"

"No, I get it," he dismissed. "It's like we're back in the days of PPTH. We've become _friends_."

She felt like he was speaking in another language. She couldn't be _that_ tired to require this much thought being spent on interpreting him. He made friends sound like a bad word when just arriving at that point had been nothing short of _miraculous_. And then she stopped breathing momentarily as things clicked in place, finally following him. "House, there was no _reason _why I didn't kiss you. I was just… stressed out from work and distracted in general. You were teasing me almost from the moment I came in and as _unusual_ as it is for this to happen, it just slipped my mind. Honestly, I swear. It's just been one thing after another at work all week and Dr. Thomas was an additional pain in the ass all along the way, culminating with his hissy fit today, so I've been... yes, distracted maybe, but I didn't _not _kiss you because..."

"It's fine. Whatever," he blew off, already wishing he'd kept his mouth shut as now she was looking at him like his feathers were ruffled and he was in need of placating.

"Well, it must not be. I mean, if you feel like I've been ignoring you," she pressed, unwilling to let him pretend that it didn't matter to him when to some extent it _must._

"It's not like I'm a pet that depends on you for survival or your kid who feels neglected," he huffed in annoyance at how she'd phrased herself, casting her a reproving look before turning to walk away.

What in the world, Cuddy thought to herself. It had been a while since she'd gotten _this _kind of a reaction from him. But then again if she was out of sorts today, why shouldn't he be allowed to be as well? Leaving her mug behind she followed him, surprised when he bypassed his room because she'd honestly expected to have him try to retreat there, leaving her on the other side of the door. Trying to think of how to approach him successfully she paused when he went into the living room and plopped down on the couch, only entering after he'd made himself comfortable. She'd be only too happy to kiss him but that wasn't going to happen until after she'd talked him down from whatever conclusion he'd reached.

Moistening her lips she hesitated a moment more before jumping off the cliff to go ahead and free-fall, having no idea of the best route to take in this but unwilling to give him more time to come to his own conclusions in order to try and come up with the _right _thing to say when there probably wasn't one. "House, trust me when I say that kissing you is one of the highlights of my day," she began earnestly.

He snorted and she gaped at him because being incredulous just… made no sense _whatsoever. _"I'm not kidding. I actually limit how many times I let myself kiss you in a day so as to not… make you feel like I'm taking advantage of you or something," she admitted, only slightly embarrassed that she was disclosing this to him.

"It's okay if you just want to be friends, Cuddy," he cut her off to interject, only glancing at her before looking away. "I get it. It's not like I can offer you anything more anyhow."

They were back to _this?_ How…? How did they get back to this? Where had this… burst of insecurity come from? Had she done something to…? But did that even _matter _at present?

"House, you're an idiot," she finally bluntly pronounced, not surprised when that _did _get his attention because she really hadn't insulted him and meant it in… a long time. "I want you. I mean, I _really want_ you. And maybe you're somehow under the impression that… that's cooled or something because our life together has reached some kind of plateau, but I promise you it hasn't. And if this is springing from the fact that we now… _banter_ about our situation and inability to take it to the next level, then, well… no, I really have no idea what to say in that case because I _like _having that banter back between us, though obviously, if it makes you question whether my feelings have actually morphed into being platonic where you're concerned, then maybe we should… stop with the banter… At least for the time being, maybe. I mean…"

"Cuddy," he interrupted then, causing her to look at him rather helplessly, still searching for the right thing to say in this.

"You're rambling," he informed her, a wry smile now tugging up one corner of his mouth.

She bit her lip but looked at him hopefully. "I'm not even sure what all I did wrong but… can you just tell me how to make things _right?_" she inquired, finally moving from the entryway to kneel on the couch beside him, her knees touching his thigh as she was turned towards him.

"Just kiss me," he mumbled with a shake of his head.

She wasted no time, reaching out to wrap her arms around his neck but not with the intention of drawing him in, instead pursuing his lips avidly, pushing herself up until she was on her knees in order to catch his lips and then she kissed him with abandon, using her teeth to pull his bottom lip slightly into her mouth, licking it briefly with her tongue before releasing it to return to kissing him as thoroughly as she could without him allowing it to go to the next level, which for whatever reason he still turned back from, Cuddy's fingers nevertheless scratching lightly at the nape of his neck and then carding through his hair to give him as much pleasure in it as she could, hoping one of these days he'd get something significant from a moment like this and be sucked into… participating more _earnestly_.

With great reluctance she pulled back when air became a necessity, at least on her part. Then she rested her forehead against his, smiling into his eyes as she tried to regain her ability to breathe and not just pant.

"Are we okay?" she asked then, ignoring his discomfort at the question, recognizing it as embarrassment for whatever he'd been unnecessarily worrying about before.

House just nodded.

"Where did that just come from?" she asked when she thought there was a chance of him giving her an honest answer.

"I don't know," he acknowledged, easily convincing her through his tone that he really didn't.

"Okay," she accepted reluctantly. Biting her lip and then releasing it when it proved sensitive having apparently kissed him harder than she'd thought, she asked, "Have I been neglecting you, though?"

House looked up at her like he was going to respond with snark but she pressed a hand against his chest before he could as if the pressure she exerted there would keep him from doing so. "I really want to know though if I have," she calmly murmured.

He shook his head dismissively. He'd known work was stressing her out this week but… somehow he'd then made it into… something else. He wasn't sure why.

"Was this somehow related to something you and Nolan discussed on Wednesday?" she then queried, worrying her lip as she waited for him to think it over, her hand not leaving his chest.

He was quick to negate that thought too but then huffed and thought about it when she looked uncertain as to whether or not to believe him. "We didn't talk about anything significant," he finally disclosed. "Just talked about your parents move and how that might affect things."

"Affect things?" she couldn't help repeating, momentarily distracted into a subject change.

"Well, I don't know if you've noticed but your dad isn't exactly a big fan of mine," he dryly informed her, the beginning of a smirk residing on his lips because he _knew _she was aware of her dad's hang-ups and cared more than _he _did.

She ignored his tone, her brow knitting. "Are you concerned about that? About him being around more?"

"What? No. _No,_" he pronounced more adamantly so he wouldn't get dragged into a discussion about that as well.

"Then why would you need to talk with Nolan about…?" she pursued in confusion.

"I didn't _need _to talk about it," he scoffed as if offended before snidely stating, "He _makes _me talk about stuff. Always trying to force me into sharing what I'm _feeling _or _thinking_."

"Yeah, that _must _be just terrible for you. Sharing feelings and thoughts. I don't know how you force yourself to keep going back for that," she quipped softly in amusement, her hand sliding up his chest, over his neck and then to his jaw, thumb stroking through his scruff.

"Yeah well, _occasionally _he says something moderately useful," House grumbled under his breath.

"Do you talk to him about… us?" she couldn't help asking, her eyes flickering to his.

The week before Nolan had pointed out how well things seemed to be going between them and then had gone on to mildly transition into asking him if they were sleeping together. House had blustered like an idiot, which of course had only garnered him more attention in the moment and Nolan had watched him, trying to read him while House had worked to steer them onto another topic. Nolan had let him but… clearly they'd be returning to that subject before long and for that reason alone House had latched onto the topic of her parents' move this week when he'd met with him. He should just tell him things were good and he didn't need to continue meeting. If he kept going the subject would eventually now turn to whether or not he was interested in a sexual relationship with Cuddy and… How did he explain _without explaining?_

"It's okay if you do," Cuddy reassured when he didn't reply, noticing that he suddenly looked extremely uncomfortable and was avoiding eye contact.

House gave her a look then as if he didn't need her permission anyway, which obviously, he didn't, because he could talk about whatever he wanted to but…

"I didn't mean it like that," she mumbled with an accompanying eye roll, dropping her hand from his face and back into her own lap. "Okay, forget Nolan. So this conversation didn't spring off of me ignoring you or out of a chat you had with Nolan. Where did it come from? A bad dream?"

House rolled his eyes in response. Okay. He'd had those in the past but bringing it up just made him feel more ridiculous than he already did in this conversation.

"Well, did it really just come from me not kissing you when I got home? That just doesn't seem like…"

"Cuddy, who cares where it came from? We're good," he cut her off to interject.

"But how do I prevent you from feeling whatever you were feeling again if I don't fully understand what happened?" she argued. "I…" Sighing dramatically she explained in a murmur, "I don't want you to ever again feel like you have to question how I feel about you, House. There's been enough of that. I… I want to make sure you _know._"

House just stared at her, able to appreciate that but there not being any answer he could give her that would… make him 100% confident of her feelings and certainly not without the chance of recurring doubts down the road. Not until… not until he could offer her all of himself, nothing holding him back from being all he thought she needed, he realized suddenly.

"Should I hire someone to write what I feel in the sky above RE every day?" she suggested then, missing his expression as she went for humor now, her eyes lighting up as she looked at him, a teasing smile on her lips. "Or maybe you want something more low-key? Like flowers delivered to your office? Or maybe you want it kept out of the office. I could have the girls pass you notes at home. Then again maybe it needs to be something big. Something showing… commitment; that I'm in this for the long haul. Want me to drag you down to city hall? Put a ring on your finger?"

House interrupted her now to suspiciously ask, "Have you been talking to my mother?"

Her eyes widened at his question but she laughed softly and shook her head. "No," she promised before pushing herself to her feet, intent on retrieving her tea now that she felt better and he seemed to as well, though she _was _curious about that particular question and intended to return to it, if he'd let her.

He watched her head for the hallway but spoke up before she could actually leave the room.

"Can I ask you something, Cuddy?" he mumbled, uncertain about how she'd react to his question and actually not so sure he wanted to ask it but suddenly feeling like it wasn't a question he _couldn't _handle the answer to, not if she really did want him and only him.

She turned around immediately and shot a probing look his way. "Yeah," she agreed, nodding.

"Do you think about me when you…?" he attempted, hesitant to ask her what he wanted to after all. Once upon a time he would have been able to ask her this brashly, expecting her to give as good as she got. But now… well, it was just awkward, considering the circumstances of their relationship.

She raised an eyebrow, her expression bemused. "Do I think about you when I… _what?"_

He looked away and then finally managed to force out, "When you get frustrated… for _other_ reasons. When you get all worked up and need… release, do you think of me?"

Cuddy stared at him, suddenly realizing what he was asking. She felt her face grow warm as she blushed uncontrollably. _"House!_ No, I…"

"Who do you think of?" he asked when she didn't continue, his face pained.

"House, I don't think of _anyone!_" she quickly replied to cut off his train of thought, licking her lips in embarrassment. "I don't… _take care of_ my needs like you're assuming I do. Not… Not in a while anyway."

He looked at her like she had now revealed herself to be a puzzle that didn't even have a logical way in which it could be put together. "Why not?" he asked without hesitation.

"_Because_," she instantly declared, torn between whether she ought to return to his side or remain where she was. "Because it doesn't seem… fair. It just seems wrong. If you are unable to enjoy…, then why should I indulge myself?"

House shook his head, not seeing why she should suffer just because he wasn't... functioning. "I don't have a problem with it," he mumbled. "I don't even care if you think of me when you are."

Cuddy looked at him as if he was insane even as her flesh overheated at what he'd said. "Well… thanks I guess," she finally managed to say, aiming for politeness or acceptance, she wasn't even sure, before she asserted, "But I don't want to. I'm committed to waiting for you. And by now I'd hope you'd know that I'm not going to rush you. The day will come when you'll be ready. And I'm more than willing to wait with you for that day to come."

"What if it doesn't?" he asked doubtfully. "Things have been good between us for a while now and yet..."

She smiled then, walking back to where he sat, finally feeling like she could. "It will, House," she murmured, pressing her lips to his chastely once she'd brought his head up enough with her hands so that he was making eye contact with her.

House nodded reluctantly, not so sure of that but willing to believe her because he really wanted it to be true, his expression changing to be more contemplative then. He closed the couple inches of space she left between them after kissing him and returned his lips to hers, kissing her again before finally mumbling, "Okay. Thanks for… being willing to wait I guess."

Cuddy pressed one more kiss to his lips and whispered, "There's nothing to thank me for."

He studied her a moment and when she was satisfied that they were good she dropped her hands from where they'd been cupping his jaw and he watched as she slipped from the room to head back to the kitchen before he stood up as well, heading for Evie's room so that he could check on her.

When he stepped out a minute later Cuddy was just emerging from the kitchen, fanning herself until she caught sight of him and blushed once more. "I was going to take Cookie Monster out again but he's completely out of it," she informed him with a soft smile to escape further embarrassing herself before taking another sip of her tea. "I think I'm going to take my tea upstairs with me and call it a night. Are you going to bed?"

House nodded but when she said, "Okay. Night House," he didn't resist asking, "Want to sleep with me? Just for tonight?"

Cuddy hesitated, surprised at the offer. But before he could give her an excuse for turning him down or something equally ridiculous, her lips curved up in a smile and she admitted, "I'd like that."

House nodded as if to nonverbally indicate he'd like that too.

"I'll go check on Rachel and get ready for bed and then I'll be back down," she promised, her voice soft but her heart skipping erratically.

He watched her climb the steps, glancing back at him while biting back a smile and then turned to go get ready for bed himself, already in bed by the time she came back down, this time in a faded t-shirt and shorts, having aimed for something that communicated nothing more than comfort, something she thought they could both benefit from, and he waited until she'd climbed onto the bed and under the covers before switching off the light beside him. A full five minutes passed of them just lying there without moving, both uncertain about what to do _now,_ before Cuddy just gave in and slid in to him, releasing a breath when he welcomed her, his arm wrapping around her, hand pressing up against her lower back once she was settled with her head against his chest, holding her to him while they both fell asleep.

* * *

"_**Lying beside you  
Here in the dark  
Feeling your heart beat with mine  
Softly you whisper  
You're so sincere  
How could our love be so blind?**_

_**We sailed on together  
We drifted apart  
And here you are  
By my side**_

**_So now I come to you_**  
**_With open arms_**  
**_Nothing to hide_**  
**_Believe what I say_**  
**_So here I am_**  
**_With open arms_**  
**_Hoping you'll see_**  
**_What your love means to me_**  
**_Open arms_**

**_Living without you_**  
**_Living alone_**  
**_This empty house seems so cold_**  
**_Wanting to hold you_**  
**_Wanting you near_**  
**_How much I wanted you home_**

**_And now that you've come back_**  
**_Turned night into day_**  
**_I need you to stay_**

**_So now I come to you_**  
**_With open arms_**  
**_Nothing to hide_**  
**_Believe what I say_**  
**_So here I am_**  
**_With open arms_**  
**_Hoping you'll see_**  
**_What your love means to me_**  
**_Open arms"_**

* * *

Song: "Open Arms" (Journey)


	112. Here (In Your Arms)

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

August 27th, 2011

Cuddy was surprised when there was a knock at the door while she was at her old house and she opened it to find House standing there.

"Where are the girls?" she asked when she was finally able to speak, being in the middle of packing up what she still wanted to clear out of her bedroom, her thoughts having dragged her down in spirals over the course of the past hour while working in there, finding herself reminded of just why House hadn't been willing to consider bringing her bedroom furniture to his house back when she'd suggested it a couple months ago, making his showing up now almost… painful. No, not almost. Painful.

"I left them with Erika," he replied as he stepped in, not having been inside in a really long time and a little leery himself of the past and what this house might remind him of but wanting to help her all the same so that she didn't spend too much of the weekend here instead of… at home.

Cuddy nodded, not knowing what else to say and certainly not about to act unappreciative, even if her current state of mind had her preferring he had just stayed home.

"How can I help?" he asked then, looking around to gauge what she was in the middle of doing and the progress she'd already made.

Cuddy bit her lip, glancing around to try and find something for him to do out here and away from her bedroom for _both _of their emotional wellbeing. "Would you mind boxing up books for me?" she asked, having already given up on that because she didn't think she'd have time and also because she could afford to put it off, but now thinking it would be a good task to assign House and the cleared space to follow could only add to a sense of accomplishment by the time they were done.

He nodded and she pointed him in the direction of a stack of boxes. "Are they coming home with us or do you want me to just stack boxes somewhere?" he asked as he grabbed one, making sure it would be sturdy enough for the weight of the books. "I think I've got the shelf space at home if you want to just put them up in the office. You could use it. I've been way too busy to take advantage of having it. Otherwise we could buy shelves for the basement and make you your own home office there if you'd want."

Cuddy stared at his back as he'd carted a box into her living room and was now studying her shelves to determine how she had books organized. She had to swallow hard against the knot of emotion at how he was standing here with her, offering her even more space and more permanency in his house as if it was the most logical thing in the world, when even a couple months ago he'd still talked about things as if she and Rachel living with him and Evie remained temporary _at best_. Obviously, she knew that had changed. She knew he now no more wanted her to leave than he did Rachel. Their living arrangement had eased into a permanent thing without them actually ever discussing it and naming it as such. But… for him to ask her if her books would be coming home with them and when she was feeling so undeserving of even being near him at all…

She'd just intended to cart them all up to the attic for the present time.

"Cuddy?" he prompted, looking back at her over his shoulder, frowning at her silence.

She moistened her lips but managed to say, "There's only a handful of fictions I'd like to hang onto. Well, maybe the equivalent of a box. But if you're sure that you have the space and don't mind I can point out the shelf of books I'm not attached to that are to be left behind and then I'd happily take the rest of my books… home with us, if you really don't mind, House."

"Do you care how I box them up?" he asked next, following a shake of his head.

"No," she said with a smile. "I'll sort them when we get home."

He nodded and she pointed out what books were to be left behind before leaving him to it, watching him momentarily read the back cover of one of her favorites before she slipped back down the hall.

* * *

Packing up her books didn't actually take all that long, despite how many of them she had. The more precarious part was taking boxes out to the car but House managed to do so without any problems, thankful that he'd left the girls' car seats at home in case Erika should need them for some reason and now had the extra space. When he had them out in his car he stopped in Rachel's room to grab the boxes labeled with her name on them, placing those in his trunk. That still left him with some space but not much, though his front seat was still devoid of boxes as well.

Reentering the house he detoured into the kitchen but Cuddy didn't have anything ready to go there, perhaps because she was just leaving whatever remained for her parents' use. Finally opting to track Cuddy down he headed for her bedroom, knowing he'd find her there because he could faintly hear her moving about.

Cuddy looked up when House entered and while she'd managed to pour her energies into sorting and packing since House had shown up, now needing to get this room cleared as fast as she could, she was still in the middle of sorting through what remained in her closet. Thankfully this was her last task to finish in this room anyway.

"Do you need help carrying out boxes?" she asked him, pushing herself upright and wiping her hands on the jeans she'd slipped into earlier after leaving PPTH.

"Nope. It's done," he replied.

"You already carted all my books out to the car?" she queried in surprise.

"Yeah. And what you had boxed up in Rachel's room," he added, shrugging, his eyes remaining on her for a moment longer before they wandered around her room, taking in how empty it was.

Feeling slightly more disconcerted by his perusal of her old bedroom, her hands fluttered briefly at her side before she asked, "Do you want to put the boxes on the bed out in my car for me?"

His eyes shifted to the bed and she cringed momentarily realizing that was really the last place she wanted to direct his thoughts, but he seemed to be paying more attention to the boxes than thinking about what was weighing heavily on _her _mind in having him here with her.

He nodded to indicate that would be fine and she released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding as he went and grabbed the first one.

"Is your car unlocked?" he asked as he exited the room a second later.

"Yeah," she called after him before turning back to her closet and redoubling her efforts to hurry up and empty it, closing another box, this one mainly files and random documents that she wasn't going to bother sorting through, and labeling it just as he came back to retrieve another box from the bed, neither one saying anything as they both worked in tandem.

When even the box she'd just finished closing was out in her car he came back in and asked, "Do you need anything from the bathrooms?"

She wished she could tell him yes but all that was left in them was towels she didn't need, cleaning supplies, extra rolls of toilet paper and the first aid kits she wanted to leave behind just in case her parents had use for them. Shaking her head she tried to think of what else she could give him to do while she finished up in the bedroom.

"There's a box in the garage," she thought to say then, her eyes widening, thankful to have remembered. "It's full of Rachel's baby pictures, baby book, a few sentimental things I'm holding onto; that kind of thing. It'll have her name on it. Could you put that in the car for me too?"

He nodded and headed off to track it down, leaving her behind to even more urgently pull down what was up on the top shelf in her closet, only her shoes remaining by that point.

"There's no rush," he dryly said to her when he'd come back in to find her carelessly throwing things into another box, startling her because she hadn't even heard him coming. "Erika said she could watch the girls until three. I told her I'd be home by two and it's not even noon yet. Take your time."

She slowed down then, mainly so that he wouldn't start to wonder why she was in such a panic to leave this room behind and have him be anywhere else but in here with nothing else to do but… think.

"Do you spend your salary on anything other than clothes and shoes?" he sarcastically quipped at that moment.

She glanced back at him, rolling her eyes for effect while smiling at him in relief at that safe choice of topics, but didn't answer, assuming it was a rhetorical question.

"You don't have to wait for me House," Cuddy informed him, throwing him another smile so as to not seem like she was trying to send him on his way, even if that was her objective.

"Aren't you almost done?" he asked her, an eyebrow raised.

"Yes but we have two cars. It's not like you're my ride home," she replied with amusement.

He looked away from her, a slight frown on his face and when she next glanced his way her activity stuttered before coming to a stop, her hands stilling then as she considered him, her own forehead knitting.

He didn't look at her when he spoke next. "I thought maybe I'd take you out for lunch," he practically mumbled, and Cuddy had to reach out to grab onto the door to keep herself from falling on her butt from where she'd been perched on the floor in front of her closet, thrown off balance by what he'd said.

Mouth suddenly dry she gaped at him and then forced her mouth shut and swallowed hard before his gaze was redirected to center on her, watching for a reaction or response. They never went out; not just the two of them. Was…? Was he asking her…? Like a _date?_

"If you aren't hungry or have other things to do or just want to go home after this to be with the girls, it's no big deal," he was quick to excuse, looking away from her then. "I just thought maybe you'd be hungry and want to grab something before heading home."

Oh how she wanted to ask him if this was a date. She wanted it to be one and it kind of… sounded like it might be.

Instead she licked her lips and then managed to say, "I'd like that House."

His head jerked her way as if he was surprised that she would say yes, now having completely expected her to turn him down, and Cuddy had to bite back a smile at the hopefulness suddenly presenting in his eyes. She actually fully expected him to ask her to repeat what she'd said, given his current expression. Instead he nodded, not saying anything and she watched him for a moment longer before remembering what she was in the middle of and determining to finish quickly so she could leave with him.

"Do you wish you had all your stuff with you?" he asked her casually as she put the last shoebox in the moving box a couple minutes later and then went to close it.

She bit her lip, not looking his way but focusing on the box before her as she labeled it, fairly certain what he was really asking was whether it bothered her to leave behind what he'd once made clear he'd prefer to never have enter his house. "No," she answered without hesitation then. "I have what I need. And I'm not all that sentimental about the furniture. I don't mind leaving it for mom and dad. There's stuff up in the attic still but I'll come back and sort through that some other time."

"Would your parents want to just buy this house from you?" he inquired then.

Cuddy got to her feet and turned to face him, stunned. It wasn't that she hadn't thought about it. But she hadn't expected _he'd _be thinking of that, mulling it over. And then she had good memories here but she also had a lot of sad ones. She wasn't so sure she wanted to hang on to the house. Part of her thought it would just be better for her parents to eventually find their own place and, at that point, if House was comfortable with her doing so, put the house on the market or maybe hire someone to rent it out for her and keep it as an investment and additional income. Of course, if her parents _did _want it, it wasn't as if they wouldn't make it theirs and in their doing so she'd probably find herself _over _whatever bad memories she might have here.

"It's not like you need it," House interrupted her thoughts to point out with a shrug, as if they were talking about a newspaper subscription.

"No," she agreed softly, staring at him, a smile slowly curling up the corners of her mouth.

When he rolled his eyes she moistened her lips but pressed contentedly, "So are you saying I should just plan on living with you for the rest of my life?"

House arched an eyebrow but then his face smoothed and he said honestly, "We've made it work so far."

Cuddy nodded in agreement, biting her lip again. He came towards her and she didn't know what she thought he was going to do but her heart rate sped up as he closed the distance between them only to bend over for the box, Cuddy releasing the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, in disappointment. "You're going to have to help me with this one," he drolly informed her when she finally looked down at him.

"What? My shoes a heavy burden for you, House?" she teased when she was able to, before bending down to grab the other end.

"The box is bigger. It'd be awkward for one person to carry," he retorted.

Cuddy stared at him as backwards he negotiated the doorway and hall to follow, taking a step whenever he did, her heart easing with every step away from her bedroom, lightness rushing in when she indulged herself in thinking on just how much progress they'd made since she and Rachel had moved in with him. "Does it ever bother you that we're doing everything out of order?" she asked lightly a moment later, her lips curving up in a teasing smile.

When he quirked a brow she explained, "We have a baby together, six months later I decide I want to be a mommy to her and I move in with you, but even before that you become daddy to Rachel despite us not being together and with me in the dark as to when and how that came about. Then we progress to _occasionally_ share the same bed, kiss, are only recently friends again and well, now, today, you're _finally _getting around to asking me on a date."

House had been eyeballing her throughout her speal as if she was a _nutjob_ for even thinking of all this, but then he started to sputter at the last thing she'd thrown out there and because he was, her confidence in the moment tripled and she took full advantage of his inability to contradict her, not bothering to resist throwing in, "And in another… two years maybe you'll be unable to resist my allure another day and end up throwing me against the nearest piece of furniture to have the most passionate, mind-blowing sex of our lives."

House struggled to keep from dropping his end of the box, almost tripping as they finally reached her car, him just gaping at her as she laughed delightedly at his flummoxed reaction to all she'd said, but especially, where she'd gone to them being in the future.

He ignored what she'd just added though when he was finally able to respond and grumpily countered, "I said I thought we could go grab something to eat. I never said it was a _date_."

She quirked a brow back at him before temporarily shifting the box onto her hood to free her hands since House seemed in no hurry to open her car door himself. "Yeah?" she dryly queried. "I believe your exact words were more along the line of you thinking you'd take me out for lunch. Take me out, House. Sounds like a date to me."

"I didn't mean a _date_," he negated with distaste.

"Because taking me out on a date would just be the most awful thing you could possibly think of?" she pointedly pressed, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared at him.

He rolled his eyes, still making a face. "It's a quick bite to eat before heading home," he grumbled. "And your clothes are covered in dust. I'm thinking a deli or corner café, not fancy shmancy."

"That's fine," she dismissed. "But I still… I'm _only _going if it's a date," Cuddy finished assertively, putting her foot down, rather pleased with herself.

House whined but then mumbled, "_Fine._"

"So you're taking me out on a… What again?" she prompted almost gleefully.

He huffed but grunted out, "A date."

Happy now, she smiled brightly his way before pushing the door all the way open, helping him try and negotiate the dimensions of the large box into her backseat after going around to the other side, crawling into the car and around other boxes to do so. When it was finally in she sighed her relief to have that done and crawled back out, walking back into the house with him.

"You really think it'll happen? You think it might only take another two years?" he mumbled under his breath, heading back for her bedroom, Cuddy following him simply because his question had caught her off-guard, there not being anything left in there for her to grab except her cellphone that she'd left on the dresser.

Her eyes widened slightly at the question and she released a breath before moistening her lips again. "No, I don't think it will take even that long," she finally replied in all honesty. "But I don't expect it to happen next week or next month either. I really do mean it when I say I'm not rushing you. And if it does take that long or even longer, I'll still be waiting House. I'm committed. And you are free to take all the time you need, even once there's nothing physically stopping you."

House came to a stop in her doorway and she glanced up at him before heading for her phone so that they could get out of there.

"What was sex like with Lucas?" House asked out of the blue, causing Cuddy's eyes to shoot open as she tripped over her own feet but caught herself on the dresser before whirling around to stare at him, struggling to think of just how to react to that question and why he'd choose _now_ to ask it. House though was not so much thinking about the bed nearby and what had undeniably taken place upon it once upon a time, but rather, thinking of what their first venture into having sex again might look like if that day _was _to come, plagued both by doubts of his ability to reach that point but also, whether he'd be able to satisfy her if he did one day get there, unfortunately recalling how she'd clearly thought about Lucas when they'd had sex during her pregnancy, rather than being in the moment with him. He was questioning whether she'd ever actually _enjoyed _having sex with him, even if for a second during her pregnancy, and not just because it gave her the release she craved. But needing or looking for that reassurance, that if one day they did have sex again she'd actually… enjoy herself with _him…_ Well, unable to ask _that_ he'd instead turned to this, in no way having forgotten how she'd called out Lucas's name that first time following her becoming pregnant, even while in House's arms.

"What?" she finally managed to voice in nothing more than a whisper, her knuckles going white on the hand she then used to grasp onto the dresser edge behind and beside her.

House shrugged, glancing at her bed and then back to her. "It's just a question."

But Cuddy was already cringing in distaste. Once upon a time this _might _have been just a question House would have asked her without any hesitation. There was no way she believed that was true for him now. It was too _loaded _a question, from either of their perspectives. And beyond that, thinking about the answer to his question was not at all something she had any desire to do.

"What does that look mean?" he asked, frowning. He supposed this shouldn't surprise him. Of course she wouldn't want to answer. It probably wasn't really any of his business to her way of thinking as for her it was in the past but, for him it was… currently staring him in the face.

Cuddy closed her eyes, her face scrunching at the question. Swallowing, she opened her eyes to meet his intent gaze and let out a breath. "House…"she rebuked gently.

"Forget it," he huffed, looking away. "Clearly you want me to be honest when you ask me stuff but never intended for it to go both ways."

Now that was just stupid, Cuddy scoffed internally, her irritation at his faulty logic and defensiveness triggering her own and _immediately_ bringing some of the old Cuddyrising to the surface. But she nevertheless shook her head, tilting her chin down even as she stared up at him. "That's not true," she finally said before almost wincing. "It's just… I don't think about _him. _I _certainly _don't bother myself with thinking about _that. _There's nothing to think _about. _And frankly, while you are probably paranoid enough to think there is some underlying secret reason for that, I'm going to clarify right now that it's just because I don't have a reason to and therefore, I'd simply rather not."

"Well obviously you have to have a reason why you'd rather not," he argued, his expression revealing some petulance at her referring to him as paranoid.

"Well how about this then?" she shot back. "If I'm going to think about sex, then I'll tell you right now, it's going to be about sex with _you. _Whether it's past sex we've had, future sex we will someday have or even just the nonexistent sex I've _dreamt_ about us having."

The room fell silent, House staring at her in surprise and Cuddy biting her lip, reticent to dig herself a deeper hole.

Finally she sighed, rubbing a hand over her face as she moved to the side slightly to lean against the wall, her dresser behind her and bed no longer in House's direct line of sight. "You want to know about sex with Lucas, House?" she forced herself to ask. "What do you want to know? Should I tell you what you want to hear? Yes. Let's start there." Not giving him time to interrupt, she pressed on. "As I'm sure you already knew, when Lucas came into the picture, well, I hadn't had sex on a regular basis in a _very_ long time. So I wasn't particularly… picky. If I was stressed with work and just needed release, it generally was fine. When I'm stressed, well, it doesn't usually take much. But if I'm really going to be honest here, Lucas wasn't all that good with… self-control." Cuddy closed her eyes briefly but then reestablished eye contact before continuing, not really sure what she was saying said about _whomever_. Regardless, she charged on. "So if I required more… foreplay or… _time_, well… What I'm trying to say is that… he tended to finish early, more often than not. And all too often when he was able to keep it together for more than a few minutes, I generally had to help him in bringing _me_ to climax. Otherwise it didn't happen; at least not with any regularity. And honestly, that was fine because… who would know my body better than I did, anyway? At the time I didn't think anything of it. I was in a relationship. I had someone who wanted to have sex with me. I was not about to complain. And… I knew perfectly well how to take care of my own needs, if he finished before I was ready."

House had remained silent this whole time, staring at her but without revealing any of his thoughts in his expression, and now Cuddy had to suck in a breath before she forced herself to ask, "Is that what you want to know? It's true. I promise. Every word of it."

House looked away then, shifting as he processed, but Cuddy just waited, not knowing without him telling her if she'd answered him _sufficiently, _honestly, still slightly put out at having to direct her thoughts back to that time of her life when it was all so irrelevant now.

Aware of the fact that Cuddy wasn't all that happy with him for asking about her sex life with Lucas, House quickly buried where he'd kind of been headed with this so as to not further upset her and chose to make light of what she'd just admitted instead, hoping to diffuse the tension between them, even if there was no guarantee she'd be amused by what he was about to say.

"You haven't had sex in a long time now," he somehow casually managed to toss out. "Are you saying that if we are ever able to have sex, you'd let me walk away without even bringing you to…?"

"_When_," she pointedly corrected, interrupting him before he could complete his question, quite honestly relieved to be done with the previous portion of the conversation and to now be talking about them once more. "And that is most definitely a _NO, _House. I'd be pissed as hell at you if you intentionally left me hanging. I don't care if you think that is a double standard. Lucas doing so was one thing. He… Well, he didn't have your experience or… _Anyway_," she redirected, not wanting to go down that path _either. _ "You however know my body like no one else and you are fully capable of making sure that my needs and wants are more than satisfied by the time we are done. So if you choose not to when we both know full well that you can in any number of ways, you can trust there will be consequences. And House, you most definitely _will not _like them."

House swallowed but his mouth twitched in response, easing Cuddy's mind by at least letting her know she hadn't gone too far and then she shook her head, all too aware that he would undoubtedly remember this disclosure until the end of time. She didn't exactly like being one to kiss and tell but the truth was that she _had _told Lucas things about House she never should have and in any case, the chance House would ever use this information in a way to make her regret telling him was slim to none. Neither one of them had anything to do with Lucas anymore. Neither one _wanted _anything to do with him either. Besides, unless provoked, House _did _have the capacity to keep his mouth shut when it was in his best interest to do so. And… if this brought him any comfort at all, she realized belatedly, she wanted him to have that. She wanted him to be confident that he was _enough _for her; that he didn't fail to measure up but quite the opposite.

"House, it's been a long and stressful morning," she whined then, ready for a subject change and wanting him to give her a little something too as she figured he _had _apparently benefited from her disclosure, even if she hadn't enjoyed thinking about Lucas yet again. "Wouldn't you like to kiss me now?" she murmured with a pout, thinking a kiss would at least prove reassuring, letting her know that they really were okay even after Lucas coming up.

He sighed wearily as if that was the last thing he wanted but then contradicted his apparent reluctance by taking the two steps that separated them after only a moment, leaning down without further hesitation and brushing her lips with his own even while Cuddy wasted no time wrapping her arms around his neck so as to keep him close to her, lifting her head up to meet his lips again when he broke their initial contact.

House returned the gentle pressure she first applied to his lips in reengaging, feeling the tension in her muscles ease a bit as she surrendered herself more fully to the kiss, enjoying it. But even when she released her hold on him, satisfied with how he'd returned her kiss, House did not stop kissing her, now aware of just how stressed she'd been and increasing the pressure as he turned her and guided her back while following her every move, her back coming into contact with the wall behind her, House holding her against it, his right hand moving to her side to stroke her skin through the t-shirt she'd pulled on earlier.

Quickly swept up in the moment Cuddy moaned against his lips but wasted no time wrapping her left arm around his neck once more to thread her fingers into his hair, returning the caress as his lips glided against hers in an almost perfectly timed dance, willing to take whatever he'd give her. His hand left her side and she missed the contact but had her mind otherwise occupied trying to control herself and keep her temperature from rising too much as heat suffused her skin from the effect he was having on her. It came as almost welcome relief to feel air against her a minute later but his lips were on hers and she was just barely restraining her tongue from asking for entrance into his mouth so she didn't realize he had somehow managed to move her t-shirt up and out of his way until she suddenly gasped, breaking their current kiss as she felt his hand touch down on the skin immediately under her left breast, moving her bra up and completely out of his way a second later before she'd even had time to react, his thumb now caressing her already taut nipple.

Cuddy mumbled a strangled "_Oh God, House_," even as her head fell back and hit the wall, her eyes shooting open to stare at the ceiling even while her body jerked against him in response to what he was doing to her and he mumbled, "That's not my first name actually," before simply moving his head to the side to focus on her neck while she gasped and tried to suck in air to form a coherent thought while his hand continued massaging her chest. She couldn't help the moan that escaped her as he sucked at a particularly sensitive patch of skin on her neck, his scruff only adding to the multiple sensations washing over her in that moment, forcing her eyes closed. But when he broke contact with her neck before somehow managing to heft her up so that her thighs were wrapped around his hips now, dropping his head again in the next second to her other breast and sucking her only bra-clad nipple into his mouth through the thin material of the bra she still had partially covering her, his hand still fondling her left breast, alternating between rubbing his thumb over her nipple and pinching it between thumb and forefinger now, she managed to look down to see her t-shirt was just as contorted as her bra at the moment, her left breast covered only by the t-shirt that had fallen back down to cover his hand underneath it while her right breast had only her lace bra to separate it from his hot mouth which was even now tugging on her and shooting sensations off in every direction in a way that instantly reminded her that if she didn't stop him now she wouldn't have the self-control to do so in another minute.

It took her a couple tries to get her mouth to cooperate with her instead of simply panting at the havoc he was wrecking on her body, but then she managed to groan out, "House, no. Stop. Please. You have to stop," unable to physically push him away herself.

House released her breast from his mouth, his eyes coming up to meet hers despite the fact that his other hand made no move to abandon her other breast, his thumb still tracing concentric circles and causing her to continue to struggle to control herself, House pleased with himself for having her off balance so easily. She looked further down to see how her legs had long since spread apart as to make room for him and allow him to lift her up so that her feet were nowhere near the ground, and released a shaky sigh before bringing her gaze to meet his.

"What are you doing?" she managed to whisper breathlessly, searching his gaze for an explanation as to how they'd suddenly arrived at the point of making out against the wall.

"I would think that would be obvious," he replied dryly, but his eyes did not reflect what she was looking for and she frowned before catching his other hand under her shirt so that it would at the very least, remain still where it was, House reluctantly lowering her enough so her feet could find stable ground a moment later when it was clear he couldn't just continue with what he'd been doing but was being forced to _talk _first.

"_Why_ are you doing this?" Cuddy clarified once she was back on her own two feet, still up against the wall though, yet breathless and all the more aware of that fact as his hand within her shirt continued to rise and fall as her chest heaved in her body's attempts to re-oxygenate, his fingers under hers heating her flesh and making the way she was covering his hand seem more sensual now than it was supposed to, almost as if she was keeping his hand on her bare flesh rather than stopping it temporarily in order to focus upon his reasoning for what he'd been doing to her.

House's eyebrows gathered together on his forehead but he mumbled, "You've been stressed all week long. You need release. Being kissed, while enjoyable, won't give you the kind of release you could use right now. And while I can't relieve your stress in the way you'd perhaps prefer me to, I _can_ relieve it all the same. You said so yourself. I'm more than capable."

Cuddy stared up at him but moistened her lips, managing to breathlessly murmur, "But I wasn't trying to get you to _relieve my stress_."

"I know," he replied, looking at her as if she was being particularly slow. "But I _do_ know your body and… You need this and I can give it to you. Don't make a big deal out of it, Cuddy. I'm not. You could use a good orgasm. It's been a long time for you. And… I'm okay with this."

Cuddy's head moved about as she searched for words in her disbelief of what he was saying but then declared earnestly, "But it _is _a big deal, House. And this isn't how I want it to happen for us when we do actually…" Her eyes shifted without thought to what she could see of the bed behind him and her eyes shut, pained, before she forced herself to reopen them and acknowledge for both of their sakes, "House, I _used you_ to meet my needs. I am _so _aware of that. And I can't do that again. Believe me when I say that right now, I physically would _love_ to accept what you're offering. But I can't. _We _can't_. _I want our first time to be… about me meeting _your _needs. Not the other way around. I have so much to make up for. And what's more, you don't need this. And I… I won't be able to forgive myself if I let you do this for me when… it does nothing for _you. _Please try to understand…"

"But I want to do this for you," he reinforced seriously. "I mean, if you don't want me to then I won't. But… Cuddy, I'm asking a lot of you as it is," he expanded solemnly, looking pointedly at her. "Any number of men would jump at the chance to do this for you. You're insanely hot. Your sex appeal is through the roof. I… We don't know how long this is going to take me, if it does even happen. I… You shouldn't have to be celibate just because I can't…"

Recognizing in his expression the undercurrents that reflected his disappointment in himself at not being able to physically meet her needs now, Cuddy finally had the willpower to reach down, slowly drawing his hand out from under her t-shirt even though his fingers stroking over her breast one final time in the process had her gasping once more before she could breathe again, not missing how the frown deepened on his face at her removing his hand from her, nor the defeat in his eyes. Threading her fingers through his though, she brought her other hand up to caress his face, his Housian compliments not having slipped by unnoticed before she murmured, "House, _when_ we make love, and we _will_ make love, not once but a bazillion times I'm positive, it will be mind-blowing. I probably won't even be able to leave our bed at home for a week afterwards, which will probably be perfectly fine with you because you won't want to leave it either, too busy taking full advantage of us being… laid up. We'll probably even have to call Erika and Wilson to come pick up the girls because we'll need someone to look after them while we are busy… looking after one another. _But,_" she added assertively, just grateful to see his frown ease somewhat. "Until we are both at that point, _this _can't happen. Even if it's only for my sake House because I really truly won't be able to face myself afterwards if I use you in this way to burn off my stress or my desire for you. And _especially _not here in this house. It's got a past to it that… bothers you and now bothers me."

"But I'm willing," he argued halfheartedly, looking away, his mouth quirking to the side as he tried to sort out just how he felt about her telling him no.

"I know," she reinforced. "Believe me I know. And I appreciate that. I do. More than you know. But I'd still feel like I'm using you. You wouldn't get anything from it. It wouldn't be satisfying for you and it might create… bigger issues between us. I can't face that thought either. We're doing so great. I don't want to set us back. _Please._"

House released his breath through his nose, his mouth quirking from side to side. "But it would probably give my pride a boost," he suggested then, one eyebrow rising along with the corner of his mouth as she dropped the hand that had been on his face to quickly readjust her bra. "And it would certainly confirm that I do know just what you need and how you need it."

Cuddy groaned but shook her head forcefully. "Neither one of us needs the confirmation," she dryly mumbled, her confidence in him absolute.

"I beg to differ," he muttered wryly under his breath, momentarily morose and now looking away before saying what he hadn't intended to. "I seem to recall you calling out what's his face's name during sex the last time we both were really getting any true enjoyment from it, completely ripping the ground out from under me, along with the sexual release I was seconds away from."

Hearing him voice that was enough to crush her and Cuddy sucked in a breath, her body instantly going cold, the blood draining from her face. "House," she pleaded brokenly, catching him off-guard by the unintended reaction he'd invoked in her by bringing that up and how quickly her self-assurance had been wiped out.

But then her stomach was rolling and she instantly pulled her hand from his before struggling to break away from him, trying not to hurt him in the process, yanking her adjacent bathroom door open a second later to collapse awkwardly in front of the toilet, the skin of her knees immediately protesting stingingly because she hadn't exactly taken the time to sink down gracefully as she gagged, desperately trying to control the way her stomach was heaving so as not to do this in front of House even if it already seemed too late.

It took him a moment to react, completely bewildered, but then he successfully lurched into action, making his way into the bathroom only fifteen seconds behind her, staring at her in concern before limping over, reaching to move her hair from her face just in case, his other hand finding her forehead to check for a temperature, not understanding how, if she was getting sick, he hadn't already noticed but had instead failed to see the signs.

"I'm sorry," she gasped out absently, her stomach still churning and causing her to sway back and forth slightly along with it, now feeling clammy as well. "I didn't expect to still react this way. I… I thought I was past this."

House's eyes widened as he tried to process that statement. His frown grew as his mind worked but Cuddy's head had fallen back down and her eyes were tightly squeezed shut, waiting out her physical situation. Helpless to do much else for her he brought his hand back from her clammy forehead, running his fingers through her messy curls before hunching more to bring his hand to her back, rubbing at the knots he could feel directly below his fingers, Cuddy moaning momentarily as he dug in to one but moved her head farther forward so as to give his hand more space to work while she tried to collect herself, having thankfully not puked but still feeling like she might at any time.

Five minutes passed before either of them said anything more and then it was Cuddy who spoke, her voice cracking as her eyes opened only to immediately swim with tears, the first of them spilling over and running down her face to land on the floor below her not half a second later. "You shouldn't be comforting me like this," she choked out, unable to meet his gaze.

Not having a logical response for that as her statement didn't make much sense to him anyhow he instead asked quietly, "How often does this happen?"

Cuddy sighed shakily, not wanting to answer because it seemed selfish to explain this to him but knowing he wouldn't settle for her _not _explaining, finally managing to mumble, "Not that often. And… not for months now. Don't worry about it. You can go wait for me in the living room. I'll be out in a minute."

But House wasn't going to let it go and that quickly became obvious. "What triggers this?" he pressed, his fingers stilling on her back but remaining where they were.

Cuddy glanced up at him before raising a hand to wipe at the tears still streaming down her face, but resignedly answered honestly, "Anxiety, regret, personal _revulsion_… I… I've had it happen a few times while meeting with Kate."

"Kate?" he repeated in confusion, not recognizing the name and wracking his mind for any instance in which she'd mentioned a Kate.

"My… therapist," she expanded shortly, not bothering to use her professional title.

House nodded but his confusion was still apparent to her and she helplessly acknowledged in a murmur, "It was a long time before I could force myself to speak about Evie. I just couldn't do it. And when I did speak about her it was because I didn't seem to have any other option. But… talking about her and what I'd done… It meant confronting a lot of things I didn't have the first clue how to deal with and _that _led to this."

"But we weren't talking about Evie," he pointed out hesitantly, frowning as he studied her overly pale complexion.

"No," she agreed in a whisper, trying desperately to swallow the lump in her throat that had risen to replace the bile that had just been creeping up on her moments ago. "But you mentioned what I did to you that first time I came to you after becoming pregnant and… Well, this hasn't just happened when I've talked about Evie. It happened when I talked about her delivery and all the… cruel blows I dealt you when I lashed out at you. So… _I love you so much House and knowing that I said those things to you while realizing just how deeply I did love you,_ it made me physically ill that day. And now… Hearing you acknowledge out loud what I did to you that night…"

A full minute passed before she concluded in a hush, "I guess it just triggered a similar reaction. And it probably doesn't help that we're here and… I'm aware that you think of Lucas, connecting him to my bedroom."

House didn't know what to say to that either and so he remained as he was, waiting for some clue as to what she might need of him.

"House, forget what I said," she mumbled only a second later, tears all too evident in her voice even if they'd slowed in their trickle down her face. "I was just talking big. If we ever get to the point where we can have sex again, you'd have every right to deny me release. After all I denied you…"

"I wouldn't do that to you, Cuddy," he cut her off to mumble, thinking she was crossing over into what qualified as _beyond _ridiculous now. "I _want _to be able to please you too much to ever purposely not…"

He'd gone back to stroking her back and she just couldn't take it any longer. Between what he was saying and what he was doing… It was too overwhelming. "Stop. Please… Don't comfort me House. It's okay. Being physically ill over what I did to you is… nothing less than I deserve," she bitterly acknowledged as she tried to shrug him away.

"Are you still going to throw up?" House inquired with a trace of exasperation, ignoring her statements as he eyed her worriedly, his forehead still knit over what had happened.

Cuddy shook her head slowly. "I don't think so," she managed to say, hoping he'd leave her until she could pick up the pieces and deal with them again. "I think I've got it… under control now."

"Then get up," he directed.

Cuddy wiped at her eyes again but sighed before she did as he instructed despite not wanting to yet, aware that he wouldn't take no for an answer. She winced and reached absently down to cup a kneecap but didn't put pressure to where it hurt.

House reached around her to shut the toilet seat lid and then pushed her slightly, indicating she should sit down. Drawing in a shaky breath she did so, reaching for the roll of toilet paper and tearing some off to wipe at her face, not surprised to see streaks of mascara there when she pulled it away.

House sank down carefully on the floor, beginning to roll up her jeans in the next second to see what damage she'd done to herself when they didn't appear so tight as to prevent him from doing so, recalling the impact he'd heard but not seen while Cuddy stared at him in total confusion.

"What are you doing?" she asked in bewilderment.

"Checking to make sure you didn't hurt yourself," he informed her as if it was obvious, barely glancing up to meet her eyes before his hands gently touched down on the one knee that she had apparently scraped up in the process of sinking to the floor, taking the brunt of the force she'd received in just dropping there, her other knee only slightly reddened from its impact with the floor.

Cuddy bit back a sob at his continued tenderness as he probed the area around the abrasion, his hands leaving her skin a second later to dig through the drawers nearby and grab out antiseptic, cotton balls and a square bandage.

"House, it's hardly bleeding," she admonished, not wanting him to fuss over her.

She cringed as he ignored her and cleaned the area with antiseptic, it immediately stinging but not bad enough to wince, which was good because she was not about to be a baby about a simple laceration. House paid no attention to her however and she shortly stopped breathing as he began to blow on it, Cuddy struggling just to swallow once more as a fresh wave of tears hit her at his demonstration of further tenderness, this _not _being the Dr. House anyone short of Rachel would recognize, for she had seen him do this for her once when Rachel had gotten scraped up outside on the deck after tripping over Cookie Monster.

He glanced up at her at that moment though and frowned at her continual stream of tears. "It hurts that bad?" he asked then, wondering if she'd done something more serious to her knee than he could detect or maybe to a nerve which could also be an explanation for her crying as she was.

Cuddy shook her head slowly though, wiping once more at her face almost apologetically as his eyes dropped back to what he was doing and he studied the abrasion before covering it with the bandage. His fingers traced the edges carefully, not applying too much pressure so as to prevent hurting her further but enough to make sure it would stay in place and then he carefully rolled her pant legs back down before releasing her, turning to pull himself up as Cuddy stared at him, unconsciously worrying her lip.

He offered her his hand after he'd returned his assembly line of supplies back to the drawer in which she'd left them and she wordlessly took it, allowing him to help her to a stand.

He motioned for her to exit the bathroom and she did so only to glance back when he didn't immediately follow, clearly thinking, and then reopened the drawer and grabbed something out which she couldn't identify as he was in the way. When he turned back to her she gave him an odd look at the small jar of body cream in his hands but he ignored her, urging her out the door, grabbing her cellphone as he passed it. When she headed for the front door though, he steered her instead to the staircase.

"I don't have anything up there I need to grab," she told him with a shake of her head, having calmed down somewhat.

"Humor me," he grunted and so she hesitantly began to climb the steps, House right behind her.

He directed her into the spare bedroom and then shocked her by turning her around and away from him before ordering, "Lift your arms."

Apparently she took too long trying to process his command because he snorted and then reached out to slide his hands along the backs of her arms as he elevated them up in the air, tugging her t-shirt up and over her head at the same time before she could stop him, having gotten distracted by how his hands grazed over her arms, causing them to tingle in delight.

But now she quickly crossed her arms over her chest, her t-shirt awkwardly tangled about her forearms as she put a stop to its complete removal, gasping, barely managing to exclaim, "House!" before he prodded her in the direction of the guest bed.

"Relax," he mumbled. "It's not like I'm going to take advantage of you or something. Just lay down. You were stressed and now you're even more so. Believe it or not, my hands are good for other things too. And the shirt had to go in order for me to do you any real good. Now ditch it. You look like an idiot with it tangled around your wrists. Unless you like the kinkiness of that," he suggested teasingly, a brief grin touching upon his lips, amused with himself and all too ready to release a little tension through whatever means available to him.

"House," she murmured, turning her head about to look at him anxiously even as she did free her hands from her shirt, though not because she was sure she wasn't doing it so she could put it right back on, obviously worried about his _reasoning_ for wanting to rub out her stress even as she internally wrestled with a returning warring desire to have his hands on her body, something that was so rare as to be an almost priceless opportunity and clearly _not _intended in a sexual manner that would require her to immediately shoot it down if she was to honor what she'd said shortly before this.

"Before I spank you," he surprised the both of them by dryly warning, his mouth twitching then with his own amusement at the thought before he added dangerously, "And trust me when I tell you I just might do it. Because you really are looking ass-tastic right now in these tight jeans you have on."

Disturbing as it was in that moment considering all the _other_ feelings she was currently experiencing, something within her did respond favorably to the thought of him spanking her, sparks flaring to life in her belly, and that alone was enough to have her cross over into action and obey him so as to escape the potential of him following through on his threat, not wanting him to see her desire flare back up even as her mind tried to wrap itself around his current attitude and… commentary.

"Good girl," he mocked, somehow pleased with himself and his sudden ability to treat her as he once had. And as she climbed up onto the bed that at one point they'd discussed bringing to his house to place in the basement, Cuddy stopped breathing when he actually did pat her butt with affection before sitting down on the bed beside her, giving her a nudge to indicate he wanted her to actually lie down.

Once he had her as he wanted her, House didn't stop himself from eyeing all the gorgeous creamy skin before him before one corner of his mouth went up. In the next moment he'd flicked the clasp of her bra open and moved it out of his way completely, evoking a gasp from Cuddy as she suddenly twitched about, her arms clamping to her sides so as to keep him from seeing anything.

"_Calm down_," he muttered with a shake of his head, uncapping the jar in his hands and sniffing it to make sure it wasn't too girly. "It's just in my way."

But she didn't have time to reply as he quickly scooped some cream out and into one hand, warming it up with the other before his fingers came down to rest on her flesh, his strong hands then moving along her skin smoothing it over her before adding more.

Cuddy bit her lip, thankful somehow that right now she was more concerned about his willingness to soothe her stress in this way than concentrating on just how sensual this situation was, her body therein restrained by her anxiety and discomfort due to his actions, which yes, was contrary to his intentions at present she knew, but which was just the way it was. It was clear when he was satisfied with how much cream he'd glided over her skin because it was at that point that his hands started moving with more purpose, starting with softer strokes but slowly building until he could feel her relaxing and knew he was actually effectively carrying out his intentions while not hurting her by going too deep. When her eyes fluttered closed and her breathing calmed after one last shudder of pent-up emotion, he couldn't help but smirk, his attention then switching to concentrating completely on the task at hand but not failing to miss just how perfectly flawless she was as his hands moved over her skin, occasionally working a knot, causing her to tense and then slowly relax and other times to almost moan despite the efforts he could see she was making to _not _do so, etching his smirk in a little deeper each time she had to force herself to control her response.

Fifteen minutes later his fingers were on her lower back, kneading her skin, when Cuddy realized she'd crossed back over from her emotional state to one quickly approaching turned on, his hands now so close to her ass that every time his fingers slid downwards the expectation began to build, sending heat radiating out throughout her. Not wanting him to stop because having him touch her like this never happened and yet knowing she was playing with fire at this point, Cuddy's brow gathered as she worked her throat, trying to speak.

"Where did you learn to do this?" she managed to ask, her eyes opening to try and see him though she could only catch glimpses of him from the very corner of her eye.

"My thigh has given me plenty of opportunities to practice," he mumbled. But glancing at her face in time to see her frown with guilt, he rolled his eyes before redirecting, "Stacy. She was always tense from her workload. She was easier to live with when I regularly worked her tension out for her in this way."

House had never really talked much about Stacy with her and Cuddy couldn't help but think it was a welcome distraction as she stared at the headboard, processing what he'd said. "Do you ever regret letting her go when you had opportunity to get her back?" she couldn't help asking softly.

House frowned but his hands did not falter as he immediately replied, "No. I wouldn't have been able to make her happy in the long term and while I would have been happy for a time it wouldn't have lasted and probably would never have been for the right reasons anyway. Then I'd have driven her off again and what would that really have served? I would be right back where I had been and she'd be… miserable and alone as well. I'd have only failed her again. It wasn't worth it. I had nothing to offer her. She was better off going back to Mark and trying to work things out with him."

And then Cuddy shocked herself, quickly asking him without taking the time to weigh her question, "And sex with her?"

House's hands did slip then, the only nonverbal indication he gave her that her question had caught him off-guard.

"You asked about Lucas," she blurted out defensively, twisting her head to try and shoot him an anxious glance even as she bit her lip.

House snorted but decided that was fair enough, although it didn't stop him from slyly asking, "How do you _think_ sex with Stacy would be?"

"_What?_" she asked him, squirming under his hands then as she tried to think of what that was supposed to mean or how she was supposed to respond.

"Stop moving or you'll give me an eyeful," he dryly muttered before breathing out through his nose, bringing his hands back up to the middle of her back to stroke down and out in a soothing way while saying evenly, "It was good as long as she wasn't stressed. Unlike you, sex didn't work very well when she was worked up about something. Maybe you wouldn't think that from knowing her but… trying to get Stacy to relax enough to enjoy sex meant helping her get past whatever was on her mind first. Otherwise sex just left her more frustrated than she'd already been which took away from whatever pleasure I got out of it. Backrubs usually helped her along."

And then one of House's hands slipped completely off her back, giving her butt a healthy squeeze through her jeans.

"House!" Cuddy protested, hating herself for having it come out so close to a moan but more so for how she'd unconsciously arched into his touch.

But he'd mainly done it in order to end the conversation where it was at and he smirked before dryly quipping, "Why don't you flip over and I'll massage _other_ parts of you?"

"House," she repeated, more nervously now, moistening her lips with her tongue.

And suddenly he was back to wanting to do this for her. "I could erase _all _the tension from your body, Cuddy," he slowly murmured in a low tone. "You know I could. I could do it _so easily_. But if you reject my offer again, it could very well be the last time I make it."

"Hook my bra," she muttered in frustrated response, her head shaking slightly to indicate she wasn't about to do any such thing. "You _know _this isn't my rejecting you. Deal with my decision."

He smirked at the determination suddenly springing forward but then did as she asked, further amused by how she froze under his hands, not daring to breathe as his hands slid up the sides of her waist and then paused parallel to where her breasts were before slowly sliding up and inward, catching the ends of her bra as he went and drawing them together, refastening it a moment later.

He wondered if she was already questioning whether turning him down was really what she wanted but she didn't say anything if she was, clearly forcing herself to stick with her intentions.

House moved away then, grabbing the cream to head downstairs and return it to the bathroom and Cuddy took advantage of him leaving the room to sit up and quickly pull her t-shirt back on over her head before following him downstairs, rolling her neck then and moving her shoulders about, testing the effects of his pampering.

"Better?" he asked smugly with a quirked smile as he came back down the hallway to join her, studying her reaction.

Cuddy met his gaze and smiled softly, nodding. "Thank you," she murmured before biting her lip and watching him.

"Yep," House simply replied before asking, "Ready to get out of here?"

"Do we still have time for you to take me out on a date?" she inquired hopefully, if hesitantly, her smile growing as his expression changed at her use of that word again.

He glanced at his watch though. "Yeah. I'll just call Erika to let her know that we'll be home at three after all."

She nodded and then glanced around the house to make sure she had everything, accepting her phone from him when he extended it before quickly calling Erika to check in. When he hung up she set the alarm before opening the front door, locking it behind them once they'd exited, coming to a stop a moment later as they faced the cars and were confronted with the inconvenience of having both of them here.

"Park yours temporarily in the garage. We'll take mine and afterwards I'll drop you back off here before heading home," he decided for them.

She did as instructed and then laughed when she exited her car and returned after closing the garage door to find him holding the passenger side door open for her, a grumpy expression taking over his face at the look she gave him as she climbed in before he shut it behind her.

* * *

"You're not expecting me to… treat this like a real first date, are you?" House muttered with a grimace as he sank down into the booth across from her at the café they'd ended up at, not far from her home.

"And ask me questions to get to know me?" she teased before biting her lip to hold back an extremely affectionate smile at his pained expression. "No," she said then, putting him out of his misery. "That won't be necessary. Besides, I'd actually like to know if you've thought about how we're going to celebrate Evie's first birthday next month."

House reached for the sandwich he'd ordered and took a bite, thinking over her question. "What would you like to do?" he asked finally, watching her take a bite of the salad she'd chosen off the menu.

"I thought maybe we could just do it at the house; invite your mom, my parents, Julia and her family, Wilson, Erika, Trevor, Cameron, Chase and the baby… Am I forgetting anyone? Is there anyone else you'd like to invite?"

House shook his head, popping a chip in his mouth, only too happy to keep things small.

She set her fork down momentarily before hesitantly asking, "Would you want to invite Henry?"

House looked at her in surprise but then said, "It isn't like we have a personal relationship, Cuddy."

"You could change that," she replied evenly with a shrug to let him know it was really up to him and there was no pressure. "It's not too late."

"My mom will probably want to bring David," he dismissed.

"You could still invite him though," she said before picking her fork back up and taking another bite of salad, focusing her gaze on her plate to give him some space.

When he still hadn't said anything a minute later she changed subjects slightly and asked, "Do we do a theme?"

House groaned at the thought and she laughed. "We don't _have _to," she pointed out. "It's just an option. Evie won't care anyway but Rachel might like that."

When he still looked like the idea was repugnant to him, she changed topics again and asked, "Okay, what kind of cake should we do? Chocolate? Vanilla?"

"You do get that I will happily let you make all these decisions, don't you?" he dryly informed her.

She raised an eyebrow at that but in thinking about it supposed he would. "Maybe I'll get Erika's input," she suggested.

House nodded. "Just don't ask my mother," he grumbled with displeasure.

She laughed again, shaking her head. "Speaking of your mom, will she stay with us this time or at a hotel? Julia could stay with my parents, unless she'd prefer getting a hotel so the boys can swim in their free time or something."

"If someone stays with us we'll have to do something about the bedroom downstairs," he complained halfheartedly.

Cuddy watched him for a moment but when he looked back up at her she admitted, "I really like when you say 'we'."

"Yeah?" he inquired with a smirk, only to continue by nonchalantly stating, "I really should say 'you' because I'm done with home decorating. You can buy furniture and make those kinds of decisions now."

She rolled her eyes but ended up watching him with affection once more.

"Quit looking at me like that," he grunted. "People will get ideas and think this is a date or something."

"Yeah, I really don't want that," Cuddy sarcastically quipped, surprising him by snatching a chip from him and crunching it loudly, done with her salad.

"Hey! Do I steal your food?" he protested.

She reached for another chip and he grabbed her hand to stop her only to have her take advantage of the opportunity and find himself holding her hand.

"_Cuddy,"_ he whined.

"Eat your chips," she bossed him, ignoring how he tried to free his hand from hers but without really putting any effort into it.

"I need my hand for that," he continued to whine.

"Use your other hand," she proffered, peering up at him through her eyelashes. "You do have two of them."

He huffed out a breath but complied and she bit back a smile before asking what he thought they should get Evie for her birthday.

* * *

"_**I like where we are  
When we drive in your car  
I like where we are... here**_

**_'Cause our lips can touch_**  
**_And our cheeks can brush_**  
**_Our lips can touch here_**

**_Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me_**  
**_Whispers 'Hello, I've missed you quite terribly'_**  
**_I fell in love, in love with you suddenly_**  
**_Now there's just no place else I could be but here in your arms_**

**_I like where you sleep_**  
**_When you sleep next to me_**  
**_I like where you sleep... here_**

**_Our lips can touch_**  
**_And our cheeks can brush_**  
**_'Cause our lips can touch here_**

**_Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me_**  
**_Whispers 'Hello, I've missed you quite terribly'_**  
**_I fell in love, in love with you suddenly_**  
**_Now there's just no place else I could be but here in your arms_**

**_Our lips can touch_**  
**_Our lips can touch... here_**

**_You are the one, the one that lies close to me_**  
**_Whispers 'Hello, I've missed you quite terribly'_**  
**_I fell in love, in love with you suddenly_**  
**_Now there's just no place else I could be but here in your arms_**

**_You are the one the one that lies close to me_**  
**_Whispers 'Hello I miss you, I miss you'_**  
**_I fell in love, in love with you suddenly_**  
**_Now there's nowhere else I could be but here in your arms_**

**_Here in your arms_**  
**_Here in your arms"_**

* * *

Song: "Here (In Your Arms)" (Hellogoodbye)


	113. Daughters

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

August 28th, 2011

"Hey mom, dad," Cuddy greeted her parents with a bright smile as she stepped up beside House where he stood holding the front door open for them as they came inside, Rachel shrieking in delight at her grandparents having finally arrived as she ran down the hall behind them, veering around her parents and practically jumping into her grandpa's arms as he reached for her, scooping her up while laughing heartily at her reaction to their arrival.

Cuddy laughed briefly too and then just shook her head in amusement before unconsciously reaching for House, stroking a hand over his back before dropping her arm back down to her side as her mom looked about anxiously, clearly searching for Evie. Cuddy nodded her head in the direction of the living room and Evelyn directed her attention in that direction just as Evie came crawling into the hallway at a full scramble to join everyone, a wide grin on her face, shrieking much as her older sister had as she came to a stop, as if to echo Rachel's joyous sentiments.

Cuddy glanced back at House and he rolled his eyes, mumbling something about how his eardrums would have been better off if he'd only had boys rather than girls. But he smirked regardless at Evie's display of enthusiasm and Cuddy smacked his chest playfully before turning back to watch her mother scoop the baby up, pressing kisses to Evie's cheeks as she giggled in delight.

Cuddy had actually already seen her parents because she'd gone back to the old house about an hour before they were to be expected wanting to try and clean up whatever dust she and House had stirred up the day before and left in their wake. She'd been there when they arrived and had invited them to come over for dinner before leaving them to rest, her parents summarily dismissing her from cleaning any more than she already had but also obviously weary and needing a break from the drive. As there wasn't anything else for her to do at present, the moving van not scheduled to arrive until the next day, Cuddy had willingly left, calling House once she was in her car to find out if he needed her to pick anything up on her way home.

Now she followed her parents into the living room, listening as Rachel chatted away about whatever she could think of as her grandparents happily gave her their full attention, Evie content to sit in her grandma's lap for the present, clapping her hands. Giving them one last glance she then doubled back to the kitchen to finish with meal preparations, House already there checking on what was in the oven.

Cuddy sidled up next to him and then pressed a kiss to his cheek, wiping off the lipstick she'd left there when he straightened to shoot her a look.

"What's that for?" he asked her dubiously.

"You're being sweet," she murmured with a smile, nudging him. "Checking on the food for me."

He groaned at the idea of that even being possible. "I'm starving," he lamented dramatically before he then turned to go find something to do that would not merit her calling him_ sweet. _But she caught his hand before he could move very far away from her and tugged him back to her, smiling up at him with obvious affection before wrapping her arms around him, House huffing out a protest but his hands finding purchase on her waist anyway.

"You've been _mushy_ ever since we got home yesterday," he grumbled then, his nose crinkling in distaste.

"Not my fault," she defended happily as she released him and gently pushed him away to retrieve ice from the freezer. "You're the one who took me out on a date yesterday."

"A date?" Evelyn inquired as she came into the room, having intended to offer her assistance and overhearing her daughter's final statement in the process, looking back and forth between House and Cuddy with an eyebrow raised, clearly intrigued.

House groaned for the second time and gave Cuddy a dirty look. _"Cuddy,"_ he whined.

She tried to bite back a smile but it burst forth when her mom crossed her arms over her chest, staring at _House _for an explanation.

"_It wasn't a date,"_ he denied in a grumble.

"Was too," Cuddy was quick to counter, sticking her tongue out at him just for the fun of it.

"_Grandma Cuddles," _he complained then, pouting.

Evelyn laughed at their antics and shook her head, determining she'd figure this out later. Heading for him she hugged him hello, giving him a kiss on the cheek as he protested halfheartedly at best.

Cuddy shook her head as she watched them before turning back to the table to fill glasses with ice. "Evie?" she inquired of her mother then.

"I left her with your father," she replied, turning back to her daughter before continuing, "My, but she's gotten good at playing peek-a-boo! Now tell me, how can I help?"

Cuddy told her what still needed to be put on the table, not missing how House quickly made his escape from the room but not trying to stop him either. Returning the ice tray to the fridge she started to put dinner on the table, her mother working alongside her.

"So a date, hmm?" Evelyn probed thoughtfully while eyeing her daughter circumspectly, having also seen House slip away.

Cuddy bit her lip as if it was even possible to hide the smile on her face but acknowledged, "Yeah. He showed up yesterday while I was trying to box up some things at the house. Offered to help and then took me out to lunch, just the two of us. I know it isn't…"

"But it was a date? That was understood between you?" Evelyn pressed, studying her daughter.

Cuddy met her gaze but nodded, teeth flashing as she grinned.

"Still counts then," Evelyn reassured with a tender smile, knowing what her daughter had been about to say. "Just because it wasn't dinner at a fancy restaurant or a night on the town, doesn't make it less significant. I'm happy for you darling. Sounds like you both are making progress."

Cuddy breathed a sigh of relief and then nodded once more, not knowing why she suddenly wanted someone else to know about it and consider it an important step forward as she did but appreciating her mother's support all the same.

"Did you sleep with him?" Evelyn then slyly asked. "You can tell me. I won't tell your father."

"_Mother!"_ Cuddy gasped disbelievingly, shaking her head in astonishment at the _extremely _prying question on her mother's part.

Evelyn sighed heavily in resignation. "Yeah, I didn't think so. Too soon then. Oh well. Maybe next time," she added hopefully for her daughter's benefit.

"_Mom!" _Cuddy admonished from between clenched teeth, rubbing a hand over her face.

"What darling?" Evelyn asked, all innocence and suppressed mirth.

Cuddy moaned in embarrassment but turned away, not about to continue this conversation after where her mother had just taken it. Quickly heading off to call everyone to the table she left the room in a rush, Evelyn laughing in amusement at her daughter's haste to escape, echoing Greg's rush to leave the kitchen unbeknownst to her.

* * *

August 31st, 2011

Cuddy stopped in her office after her latest appointment with Kate in order to check her messages before making rounds. They'd switched over to scheduling appointments for every two weeks now as things had been going so well for Cuddy both at work and at home that meeting more frequently was no longer an absolute necessity. Clearly while she still had stuff to talk about and work through it was nowhere near how it had been in previous months and she could afford the lapse. In any case, Kate had made it clear that they could always fit in an emergency session if something in particular came up or Cuddy found it necessary. Today they'd spent their time mostly talking about the weekend and what had taken place with House while at her old house. It had been an embarrassing conversation, to say the least. But Kate felt strongly that Cuddy had done the right thing in stopping things from progressing and while Cuddy didn't exactly need her to say that in order to know that, she still found herself appreciating it. Then of course the conversation had sidetracked into whether there would be a second date or whether there was another step forward for her to take but Kate had just encouraged her once more to let things progress naturally and continue with what she was already doing to show him affection and support. Kate had also inquired if Cuddy thought they should maybe lower her dosage, beginning to wean her from her antidepressants to determine if they were even necessary anymore, but she'd asked to wait a week, allowing herself a little more time to consider whether she was in fact ready for that step or not, how quickly she'd found herself back before the toilet, stomach heaving, having sprung immediately to mind even at the question being asked.

As Cuddy took the elevator upstairs to do her rounds she couldn't help smiling, thinking of how House had huffed in fake exasperation on Saturday after they'd returned to her house following lunch as he climbed out of the car to walk her to hers before giving her the rather chaste kiss she'd already made clear she'd be expecting to end their little date before they both drove home separately. She really was turning into a sappy pile of mush regarding him, she helplessly acknowledged to herself. But then she was back to thinking about his mouth against hers, her back leaning against the elevator wall, and there was no denying, she 100% enjoyed that he did this to her. Reaching in her pocket for her phone she decided she might as well text him that much.

* * *

Cuddy answered her cellphone after seeing House's name on the screen. "Hey," she greeted softly, biting back an affectionate smile as she waited for his reply, glancing automatically at their family picture on her desk while she wondered if he was calling to reply to her text.

"Hey," he replied wearily, sounding like it was turning into a long day for him. "I was thinking you might as well take both girls with you when you go over to see your parents," he said resignedly, his thoughts on his rapidly approaching appointment with Nolan for that night.

"Oh," she replied in surprise. "Yeah. I'd love to and I'm sure they'd love that. Want me to pick them up at RE?"

He thought about it, surprised by the offer, but it didn't make much sense drive-wise for her. "I'll just meet you at the house. Save you the drive," he filled in.

"Okay," she readily agreed.

"'Kay," House echoed.

Neither one said anything for a moment and then Cuddy worried her lip and closed her eyes briefly before pushing forward and asking, "House?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you… Have you told Nolan about… your situation?" she ever so hesitantly inquired, having spent the night before thinking about this and whether or not he had or not, only to chicken out on asking him this morning, unable to do it face-to-face.

He didn't need her to clarify to understand what she was asking. It took him a minute but then he just mumbled a no.

"Maybe you should," she murmured after another pause, not wanting to pressure him but wanting to nudge him in that direction anyway.

"Cuddy, it's not exactly something a guy talks about," House grumbled, traces of embarrassment underlying his words.

"I know. I know that. I do. But… House, you have nothing to be ashamed of," she countered after moistening her lips. "If anybody does, it's me. And I'm not trying to push you in that direction for my sake or anything. I just… I think maybe if he knew, he could help you… Maybe… Well, maybe Nolan will have already helped someone process a situation similar to this and can help you work through not just the why of how it happened but the… how to come back from this part too. I just…"

House recognized she was about to babble in her guilt and trepidation of his reaction and so he just stepped in to save them both. "I'll think about it," he replied reluctantly.

Cuddy sucked in a breath, her eyes closing momentarily, relieved to have that behind her and not have him angry.

"House?" she couldn't help murmuring once more.

"Yeah Cuddy?" he responded immediately, a hint of impatience in his tone, _really _not wanting to talk anymore about this or anything else.

"You get that I don't think any less of you, right?" she couldn't help asking, her brow drawing together.

"Cuddy," he grunted, clearly uncomfortable.

"Because… you should know that," she hurried to say. "You should know that by now. You should know that I respect you and admire you and… above all, _love you_ with every part of me. I don't… I don't want you doubting that," she concluded fretfully in a murmur.

House huffed out a breath but finally said, "I get the picture."

"I hope you do," she couldn't help but reply worriedly. "I really hope so."

"Can I go now?" he dryly asked, prompting an end to this conversation.

Cuddy bit her lip but then released her breath. "Yeah. You can go," she agreed softly.

"Great," he wryly quipped.

"I love you," she added in a whisper. And then she was gone, surprising him in part because she hadn't asked for him to say it back to her or even waited to see if he would, and also surprised because she just never hung up first. He slipped his phone back in his pocket thoughtfully before leaving his office to go see if Cameron had received the lab work they were waiting on. Halfway there he had to stop and work to get rid of the smile that wanted to tug up one corner of his mouth over Cuddy's text earlier in the day. It was one thing for Cuddy to be thinking of him and smiling foolishly. It was quite another for him to.

* * *

"Where's Evie today?" Nolan asked House as he got comfortable in his chair that night across the desk from him.

"With Cuddy," he replied casually, shrugging a shoulder. It wasn't the first time he'd left her with Cuddy for an appointment. It wasn't even the second or third time now. House hadn't exactly expected to find himself here this week contemplating revealing just how deep his issues went but he _knew _Nolan was moving in the direction of this conversation anyway and he didn't want Evie here if he should decide to go there, that just not being… feasible as far as he was concerned, and therein he'd just gone ahead and suggested Cuddy take both girls with her after she'd already told him she planned to swing by after work to see if she could help her mother any more with all the unpacking and reorganizing she was in the midst of this week. And then he'd had Cuddy bring the topic up and now it just seemed… unavoidable. The question was more how the topic would come up.

Nolan nodded, studying him. Finally he determined, "You've come to trust her."

"With Evie? Yeah," House admitted. He had. He recognized that. Maybe what was more surprising was his willingness to acknowledge it but in this case he really didn't have a reason not to.

"And with yourself?" Nolan pressed.

"I don't even know what that means," House grunted, quickly deciding that yeah, he really _didn't _want to go there voluntarily.

Nolan watched as he looked away, looking a little disgruntled with the question. It was hard work to not smile at that response. Instead he casually said, "Each week you come in here and we talk about whatever the past week has held. Over the past months you've gradually changed your stance in regards to Dr. Cuddy. And each week I see signs of a growing intimacy between you two."

"We're not having sex," House negated, his gaze swinging back to Nolan.

"I didn't say you were," Nolan replied calmly. "I was referring to intimacy. Intimacy isn't always sex and sex isn't always intimacy."

House quirked an eyebrow at Nolan but remained silent biting back the sarcastic response already in his throat, ready to be released.

"Would you say there's a growing intimacy between you two?" Nolan serenely inquired.

"Why do I get the feeling that regardless of how I respond my words will be twisted so that they can be interpreted the way you want them to be?" he sardonically replied.

Nolan couldn't hold back his chuckle at the suspicion lacing House's words. "You're welcome to answer the question and then interpret it for me," he invited, crossing his arms up behind his head as he leaned back in his chair getting comfortable, his hands against the back of his neck as he waited.

"How about you just take this conversation where you're trying to go with it?" House retorted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I could do that," Nolan replied with a shrug before nodding musingly. "I'm just not sure you're ready to stop beating around the bush yet."

House stared at him a full minute as if he was weighing him in the scales, judging just where Nolan was aiming to go next. Ultimately he just rolled his eyes at him. "Remind me why I'm still coming?" he snarked.

Nolan straightened in his chair but replied easily, "I suppose because you have strong feelings for Dr. Cuddy and have now found yourself wanting to be in a deeper relationship with her but are unable or unwilling to act upon it to the extent that part, if not all of you, would like to."

House scoffed, not because it wasn't true but because he was hardly going to come right out and acknowledge that. But Nolan didn't give him time to speak.

"You love her. That's been obvious to both of us for a long time now. I think you've even come to the point where you've forgiven her for choices she made regarding your daughter, whether or not that forgiveness has been verbalized. I think that's why you now trust her with the baby. But it hasn't stopped with Evie. That's not as far as you've allowed her to come. It's progressed past that. I think consciously or unconsciously you've also begun to forgive her for ways in which she's hurt you. And yet there's clearly still stuff between you, keeping you from allowing the relationship to progress past a certain point. There's still stuff you haven't been able to forgive.

"You once told me that you don't see yourself ever being in another relationship with a woman. I've wondered why that is. You didn't limit that to Dr. Cuddy. You were clearly opposed to a relationship with any woman at all. Yet you've developed relationships with women just this year and in ways that tell me it isn't wariness of being specifically in a relationship where feelings are involved and emotional bonds are formed or where the risk is of getting hurt. Look at your relationship with your neighbor. Look at your relationship with Dr. Cuddy. Emotionally you've attached yourself to these two women, as well as other women such as Dr. Cameron or Dr. Cuddy's mother. So that's not it. You've taken chances; risks. Your fear isn't about forming emotionally intimate relationships where you may or may not get hurt. It goes beyond that. So then let's assume you meant romantic relationships. We both can recognize you've had opportunities since your daughter's birth. You've had women who've shown interest, such as your neighbor at one point or the young woman at the daycare that you've mentioned. But you've never…"

"Where are you going with this?" House uncomfortably interrupted to demand. Nolan had successfully caught him off-guard and then just flummoxed him with his summary of things, clearly more aware of things than House had thought him to be. But now he just wanted Nolan to stop making him uneasy and settle on a particular point.

"Sex," Nolan replied honestly with another shrug, House gaping at him and then changing his posture in the chair before defensively muttering, "I don't know what you're talking about."

Nolan studied him thoughtfully but said, "Yes you do. And it makes you uncomfortable. Especially to have me bring the subject out into the open. But this is not beating around the bush. This is getting right down to the nitty gritty. And your problem isn't with emotional intimacy, though undoubtedly it can be quite uncomfortable for you at times. It's not even with affection, because affection has also been written all over several of your relationships in the last year. So now I'm telling you that I believe your main issue with being in a relationship has to do with physical intimacy that goes beyond just physical affection. What does that leave? As far as I know that just leaves sex. So tell me I'm wrong," Nolan concluded, waiting at complete ease for House's response.

He would have liked to. He would have liked to deny it. But there was no way he could and be convincing. So instead he broke eye contact and looked away, staring at the floor. He couldn't deny it. But he wasn't going to own to it either.

When five minutes passed in silence House couldn't deal with it anymore and pushed himself to his feet, intending to leave, frustrated and angry. Nolan waited until he was halfway to the door before he calmly prodded, "What do you want House? You've come a long ways. And you haven't done that by just being a survivor but by overcoming issues, those that were already there and those that rose up along the way. I'm here to help you if you're still willing to go to battle, but you have to know what it is you want. You have to determine what the next big victory would be."

"What if you can't help me?" House stopped to mutter, his back to Nolan, eyes on the carpet.

"How will we know unless you give me the opportunity to try?" he inquired.

"What if the problem's physical?" he reluctantly mumbled after another minute passed, his words much harder to make out this time.

"Then we take advantage of you not pioneering the way in this. We look at things in light of what's known from the experiences of those who've gone before you," Nolan charged onward.

"And if it's humiliating?" House even more uncomfortably pursued.

"Then you've got to want it badly enough to not let that feeling of shame rule your willingness to attack the problem head-on," Nolan said simply. "You're not the first. You won't be the last. And as I'm fairly certain it's more rooted in the emotional, we already have a strategy. You've already identified a lack of trust. We keep chipping away on that. We attack there first. Yeah, it probably means you're going to have to open up about whatever it is you've been holding back from me. But I can promise you this, it'll be worth it."

It took House a long time to respond but Nolan just waited for him. Finally he asked, "And if that doesn't resolve things?"

"Then you know that there are other ways around it. But if you were looking for that you'd have written yourself a script by now. You're a doctor. You know what your options are. But you haven't gone that route. That for me confirms that it isn't just about the physical aspect of it. Perhaps you aren't even sure you're ready, emotionally. So we stick with the plan and look at the underlying causes. Are you game?" Nolan asked in conclusion.

House huffed out a breath but turned back to face Nolan. He established eye contact briefly but then looked away before guardedly disclosing, "I can't. Physically I can't."

Nolan didn't bother to ask him to sit down, figuring if House was currently more comfortable standing where he could make an easy escape and that allowed him to continue the conversation, he could deal with that. "Have you been trying?" he asked once House had actually acknowledged the issue out loud.

House was quick to negate the question with a shake of his head.

"Okay," Nolan accepted. "When was the last time you had sex or even attempted to?"

House grimaced and had to resist the urge to scuff his shoe against the carpeting but finally mumbled, "While Cuddy was pregnant."

"But not when she became pregnant," Nolan clarified.

House shook his head. Huffing out a breath he ultimately volunteered, "She was hormonal and threatened to go find someone else willing to meet her needs. So I agreed to have sex with her… whenever she needed it. I gave her a key to my apartment. She'd just show up and then go into the bedroom to wait for me. Sometimes Rachel was sleeping and Cuddy brought her with. She'd leave her on the couch for the duration of her stay."

"For how long a time did this go on?" Nolan asked when House paused, rubbing a hand over his face wearily.

He frowned but admitted, "A couple months, more or less."

"And how did it end?" Nolan inquired.

"I came home one day and the key I'd given her was in an envelope under the door," he replied mildly with a shrug, hesitantly moving now to sit back down in the chair. He looked down at the floor but then quietly acknowledged, "There was a note with it. She wrote that she didn't need the key because she didn't need me anymore."

It took a moment for Nolan to reply but he didn't detour to tackle that detail, instead ultimately asking, "And had you already begun to experience difficulties with performing?"

House looked up at him reluctantly but then exhaled out through his nose before looking away. He nodded but then didn't really see a way of escaping an answer so he simplified it but not to the point of not giving any detail at all, therein forcing Nolan to pursue him, and said, "The first five or six weeks it wasn't a problem. Or… not much of one, anyway. The seventh week… It became progressively more difficult. I… managed but then one day… it just wasn't going to happen and so I just took care of her problem… manually. When I went into work the next Monday there was a prescription for Viagra in a bag on my office chair. That got me through the next couple weeks before she finally decided to stop coming."

"You never mentioned this aspect of what was taking place during Dr. Cuddy's pregnancy," Nolan pointed out, giving House an opportunity to collect himself and also a little more control over where the conversation went, giving him the freedom to share why he'd been silent so long, should he be willing to.

House looked at him then and snorted before sarcastically stating, "Yeah, as if what I told you wasn't sufficient enough for you to question my mental health and think about readmitting me, I should have also just come out and said, 'Oh, and by the way, I pimped myself to Cuddy during her pregnancy.' I've no doubt that would have gone over well. Nothing like having someone with self-destructive tendencies admit they've found yet another way to destroy themselves."

"Why'd you agree to it then, if you knew it would not be in your own best interest?" Nolan queried in turn.

House dropped his gaze to his feet but quietly mumbled, "What was I going to do? Say no and risk her finding someone else to do for her what I wasn't willing to? She wasn't exactly emotionally stable, nor up to making sound decisions. Was I going to risk Evie's wellbeing? Risk Cuddy's? I might have been a complete ass at times but… I did care about her. I… loved her. Even then."

"Have you two talked about this at all?" Nolan couldn't help but ask.

"What? You mean has she apologized?" House asked in annoyance.

Nolan just waited for him to calm down, his emotions surfacing in just thinking and talking about what had happened and needing to be acknowledged clearly but not each and every emotion all at once.

House rolled his eyes but mumbled, "It's come up. She's aware that I can't have sex with her. She figured it out after she tried to join me in the shower and seduce me or something back in June and I immediately went ballistic on her. She… thought it was because I was no longer attracted to her." House huffed as if that was obviously a preposterous conclusion for her to make but continued, "I guess that's why she thought… Viagra was necessary in the first place. But she knows now. She knows I physically… _can't _go there with her. And… she does respect that," he acknowledged, regaining a bit more control over his emotions.

There were so many directions in which Nolan could take this conversation that it was hard to stay on the track he was already on and not detour just yet.

"So she would like to have a physically intimate relationship with you but now that she better understands things she's not pushing to take it in that direction," Nolan repeated.

House expelled a breath but then just divulged, "On Saturday I went over to her house to help her pack up stuff before her parents moved in. She'd been stressed out all last week. I… I was willing to relieve her stress using… other methods but she stopped me. She's determined that she's going to wait for me. She… doesn't believe my problem is a permanent one. Actually… she suggested today that I talk with you about it," House finished in an uncomfortable mumble.

Nolan quirked an eyebrow in surprise. "She suggested that you discuss it here," he confirmed after a lengthy pause.

"Yeah," House replied with a short nod of his head.

"And so you are," Nolan continued.

House looked up at him but rolled his eyes. "Not because she told me to," he denied in a mutter.

"Why then?" he didn't bother refraining from asking.

"Because you're making me," House irritably threw out.

Nolan looked at him pointedly. "That's not it. I've never been able to make you do anything. Not if you were set against it."

House grunted unhappily. Finally he rolled his eyes and muttered, "I don't want to be stuck here the rest of my life."

"In counseling?" Nolan inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"In this situation," House huffed in frustration. "Unable to… _function_."

Nolan nodded, not pressing for more detail. "Are you willing to talk about what happened? Are you ready to go into detail and face whatever feelings you've shelved from the arrangement you had with Dr. Cuddy and what you agreed to? It's not going to be easy. You're going to have to tell me about what happened over the course of those nine weeks. You're going to have to acknowledge how you felt at every point along the way, not just to me but to yourself. We can go as slowly as you want to but I'm guessing you'd prefer to go fast, cover it in one session and then move on, and that's just not going to happen. Realistically this is going to take some time and require honesty."

House shook his head in frustration, it all seeming futile and impossibly difficult, but then he blew out a breath and mumbled, "It's going to make me angry."

"And that's a perfectly acceptable feeling," Nolan was quick to point out.

House pursed his mouth into a firm line but didn't say anything more.

"Are you concerned about taking that anger home with you?" Nolan pressed when he remained silent. "Or more specifically, are you worried that Dr. Cuddy won't be able to handle your anger if it ends up being directed her way?"

House met his gaze but then volunteered, "She apologized. She's… not proud of any of it. I've… actually seen her physically ill over being reminded of some of it. She's… sorry."

"But that doesn't make it okay," Nolan interjected pointedly. "And you already know that an apology doesn't make everything alright. It doesn't cancel out what took place. It's not a switch to flip that suddenly restores you to how you were before or make you able to carry out a sexual relationship. It also doesn't mean you automatically forgave her, House. Nor that you should have. Forgiveness is a choice and sometimes you have to get to a point where that choice can be made. Sometimes forgiveness takes effort requiring a process. Sometimes as much as we'd like it to be, it isn't just as simple as repeating some cliché, such as 'that's okay', 'forget it' or even 'I forgive you'. If talking about it and reliving things that took place makes you angry, then that's perfectly normal. You just have to learn to handle that anger constructively. And you have to work through it."

"I… don't want to take it out on her," House acknowledged resignedly.

"So don't," Nolan replied with a shrug. "Find a way to let her know you just need some space to deal with things if that works for you."

"It's easier to be mean," he grunted.

"Doesn't sound like it," Nolan honestly informed him.

When House shot him a disbelieving look he said, "I'm not saying I doubt that used to be the way of things. I'm just saying that from where I sit, you are taking time to consider how you are going to react to revisiting the past because you've gotten used to trying to protect Dr. Cuddy. I couldn't even count on my hands the number of times you've told me you've done just that of late."

"I can yell at her and be nasty to her just fine," House defensively retorted as if his character were being questioned.

Nolan's mouth twitched. "I have no doubt you can. In the heat of things," he clarified. "For instance, when she's unwanted in your shower or forcing you to talk about something you don't want to. But as she's not here and won't be for our sessions, I think you'll manage to be more rational and have better control of yourself by the time you get home. It might not be easy to go home," he added pointedly, "But by the time you make it there, I don't hesitate to conclude you'll be in control. And isn't that what you want anyway? To not take it out on her?"

House grimaced but Nolan had him.

"Now, do you want to stay late and dig in or escape and push it off until next week?" Nolan asked almost knowingly.

House gave him a dirty look and narrowed his eyes but stretched out his legs as if he was getting comfortable. That was all the permission Nolan needed. So he dove in.

* * *

House was driving down his block when a text from Cuddy came thru.

"Are you going to be home soon? The girls are already asleep but they missed you."

He didn't bother to reply as he'd be pulling in the driveway in another thirty seconds.

When he entered the house a couple minutes later, Cookie Monster meeting him as he came into the kitchen jumping up on his legs and then collapsing on the floor only to roll over and wiggle in excitement, asking for a belly rub, House bent over to comply, rolling his eyes in fake exasperation.

"Hey," Cuddy greeted softly as she came into the room, setting her mug of tea aside to approach him. "You're home late."

"Yeah," he mumbled in acknowledgement before straightening and changing the subject. "Does he need to go out?"

Cuddy paused, her steps faltering as she'd been about to go to him and kiss him hello. Moisturing her lips after detecting that he was in fact avoiding looking at her, she murmured the first thing she could think of and said, "Maybe. It hasn't been that long since he was last out but that's… probably not a bad idea."

House nodded and Cookie Monster happily trailed him to the door and then outside. Cuddy followed but hesitantly.

He rarely if ever made it home in time to see Rachel before she fell asleep but Cuddy had thought tonight he might as she and the girls had stayed late at her parents and so she murmured, "The girls missed you at bedtime. Both of them. Evie kept pushing the bottle away to say your name."

House glanced back at her, his mouth curving up slightly at that. She took it as a good sign and released a breath before asking, "Nolan keep you late tonight?"

"Yeah," he replied dismissively again, looking away from her to call the dog.

"You're mad at me," she recognized softly then as Cookie Monster trotted over to him, biting her lip and worrying it. "You talked about... something unpleasant and now you're upset with me about it."

"No," he replied flatly, making her forehead knit as she studied him.

"We talked about… stuff but… I'm not mad at you," he added for good measure.

"You can be mad at me, House," she asserted a moment later when he turned towards the house and where she stood on the deck, watching him, fairly certain of what he might have meant by "stuff."

House raised an eyebrow, making actual eye contact with her for the first time since coming home, but then dryly asked, "Are you giving me permission?"

She surprised both of them by rolling her eyes, only then countering, "You don't need my permission. I'm just… saying that I'd understand completely if you were."

"I'm not, Cuddy," he finally mumbled dismissively. "I thought I would be but… right now I'm not. Just… tired."

"Oh," she mumbled dumbly, not knowing what to say. Looking down as he finally moved to continue towards her and the house behind her, she ultimately managed to say, "I was going to ask if you wanted to stay up and watch one of the late night talk shows with me but… maybe I should just let you call it a night."

"Sorry Cuddy. I just need to go to bed," House replied apologetically as he stepped inside the house with her right behind him.

"Yeah. I get it. Don't worry about it," she awkwardly acknowledged. "Maybe another time."

He nodded and then focused on the dog while she reached for her mug and headed towards the hallway, wanting to escape now, not upset with him but feeling bad regardless.

She was just about out of the room when he called her name. "Hey Cuddy."

She came to a stop and bit her lip before turning back to glance at him, her hands tight about her mug. "Yes?" she managed to reply.

"You can kiss me goodnight though. If you want to," House mumbled, shrugging his shoulder as if it was really up to her.

"I…" Cuddy had to stop and swallow before she could collect herself, her eyes looking hopeful even as she moistened her lips in uncertainty. "I can? You're sure? You're sure that would be… alright?"

He nodded slowly, watching her, and so she once more set her mug of tea aside and went to him, her hands trembling slightly as she reached up to cup his face, index fingers stroking lightly through his scruff before she slowly pulled him towards her even while pushing herself up on her tiptoes to meet him halfway.

She exhaled shakily before her eyes closed completely, her lips finally touching his, one hand slowly sliding around to loosely hold his neck, fingers sliding through his hair and nails lightly raking against his scalp.

House's hands came up to find her waist and draw her closer to him, catching her lips again when she released his, having kissed him as she'd wanted to since hearing him pull into the garage and only too grateful for that much, certainly expecting the moment to have reached its conclusion and the limits of House's ability to bear kissing her after whatever he'd had to relive in meeting with Nolan that night. But House slowly walked her backwards while kissing her a second time and startled her completely by lifting her off the floor then, dragging a gasp from her as he resettled her on a stool in order to make the height difference less of an issue, smirking before kissing her again, drawing a happy hum from her as her eyes drifted closed. Satisfied with himself, he finally released her lips and straightened, feeling proud when she licked her swollen lips and lazily met his eyes, her hold on him loosening but her fingers still sliding through the hair at the back of his neck.

"Something else to think about when you're next in an elevator," he slyly said, growing smugger by the minute as she blinked at him, trying to process what he'd said while her heart continued hammering in her chest but clearly not accomplishing it.

"Night Cuddy," he mumbled then, his own hands finding their way to her upper arms and soothingly stroking down them as if to calm her before reaching her elbows and dislodging her hold on him so that he could make his escape.

"Night House," she managed to reply, one hand coming up to touch her fingers to her lips and trace where his stubble had burned her most deliciously. She watched him leave the room and only then did she understand what he'd meant by what he'd said. Reaching down quickly to clasp at the stool, she kept herself from falling off it even as she gave a startled gasp.

Someday revenge for moments like this would be sweet and she wouldn't be the only one addled by a kiss. For now though, she'd simply focus on savoring them.

* * *

September 12th, 2011

Cuddy came down the stairs to find House in the kitchen, in a suit and struggling with his tie. She bit back a smile but then approached him, pushing his hands away so that she could do his tie for him, biting her lip before her eyes went up to meet his, returning briefly to the tie to make sure it was straight before locking back on House's face as he met her gaze, clearly fidgety.

He rolled his eyes at the soft smile that she finally couldn't hold back and then mumbled, "I don't know why we're even doing this. He's just going to turn down my request."

She rolled her eyes at his attitude because he'd been like this for the last week, ever since meeting with the lawyer, nervous and edgy about the impending court date. He hadn't wanted to tell anyone at all about this in case the judge refused his request to be recognized as Rachel's father but had finally given in to allowing her to tell her parents, her mother reacting with pure joy while her father had begrudgingly owned up to his growing respect for House, surprising him with that unexpected response.

But House had refused to have Rachel know just yet mostly because he didn't want to disappoint her if his petition for adoption fell through. Cuddy had no doubt that he didn't want Rachel to be hurt should that happen. But it was also hard because his doubts meant the two of them were stressed instead of looking forward to this date for its possibilities.

"What excuse did you give for taking the day off?" Cuddy asked him in an effort to sidetrack him, smoothing her hands over his dress shirt before stepping back to see him better.

"I told the boss I had a court date," he replied.

"That was surprisingly honest," Cuddy murmured before she caught the beginnings of a smirk.

"What?" she finally prodded while watching him through slightly narrowed, suspicious eyes.

"Pretty sure Cameron thinks I got one too many parking tickets or something. She was lecturing me on the importance of being responsible and law-abiding before I successfully tuned her out," he dryly mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"Do you want some coffee?" she asked after an amused snort, turning to go pour herself a cup.

He huffed out a breath but then nodded, deciding he'd take the risk of potentially spilling on his shirt as long as it gave him something useful to do. He turned to watch her and noted for the first time that morning what she had on. "You look… great, Cuddy," he finally managed to say, heading her way as she cast him a surprised glance over her shoulder.

"Great, huh?" she inquired, quirking an eyebrow his way when she knew he was near.

"Yeah," he mumbled before he reached out and placed his hand on her far side, fingers stroking the material of her top, testing out the feel of the fabric.

Cuddy stopped breathing for a brief moment before she was able to calm herself. "Do I get to kiss you good morning now?" she couldn't help asking, just grateful that her voice sounded normal.

His eyes flicked from where his hand rested to meet hers, one corner of his mouth rising slightly. "Sure," he agreed, his hand sliding along her back as she turned to face him until it rested on her opposite hip.

She bit her lip as he stared down at her but then took a breath and slid her hands up his chest until she could place them around his neck, House bending down to meet her. The kiss was a sweet brushing of their lips but it was enough. "I love you," she informed him as he pulled back, her hands sliding back down onto his chest.

"You're just saying that to distract me," he harrumphed, giving her a dirty look.

Cuddy shrugged but then smiled and slyly asked, "Is it working?"

"Maybe a little," he admitted with a pout.

"It's going to go fine. The lawyer didn't give us any reason to think otherwise," she reassured him then, patting him affectionately before giving him a pointed look as if to tell him to stop worrying about it, turning back to grab his coffee a second later. "Don't spill," she teased him as she placed it in his hands.

He huffed, frowning, but focused his attention on his coffee as he drank.

The sound of Evie babbling from her crib came to them then and House made as if to move but Cuddy quickly waved him off. "I'll get her."

He watched as she came back into the room with Evie a few minutes later, placing her in her high chair so that she could give her some breakfast. House grinned at the baby's enthusiasm as she banged her hands against the highchair tray and then made his way over to rifle her curls. Where has the last year gone, he asked himself before turning to query, "What time is your mom coming?"

"She'll be here shortly," Cuddy answered him. "That'll give us a couple hours to get there and go through security; plenty of time."

He huffed again and she quirked an eyebrow at him in amusement but just shook her head.

Rachel didn't have to go with them as she wasn't old enough in the eyes of the court to voice her opinion. All the same, House mumbled, "You got this kid if I go get the other one up?"

"My mom can get her up if she sleeps that late," Cuddy dismissed before she recognized that he just wanted some time with Rachel before their future legal relationship could be determined one way or the other. Catching the expression on his face and obvious disappointment as he'd taken her to be telling him not to wake Rachel, she moistened her lips before saying, "Actually, that's probably a good idea. And definitely wiser to have you get Rachel ready for the day than in the vicinity of little miss mushed-up Cheerio hands here. Just don't let Rachel get toothpaste on you when she brushes."

He immediately gave her a grateful half-smile before he headed out of the room and upstairs. Cuddy watched him go but then shook her head before cringing as Evie smashed another wet Cheerio into her hair just as she turned back to the baby. Then again, she thought, at least it wasn't banana this time.

* * *

"Ready?" the lawyer inquired after greeting them. He'd met with both of them the week before to go over what could be expected today and prepare them both for the brief hearing that was to be held in family court, not to mention sign final paperwork to be submitted shortly, but this was his thing and he was prepared to go in as soon as they were.

House nodded despite not feeling ready in the least and Cuddy squeezed his arm reassuringly before they entered quietly to take seats in the courtroom, waiting for their case number to be called. Once it was they took their seats where the lawyer instructed them to.

House sat there beside Cuddy, trying to pay attention to what the lawyer was saying to the grandfatherly-looking judge and what the judge replied back with, but was failing because basically, he was just waiting for the judge to deny the request for adoption as a second parent and send them on their way. Trying to restrain himself from loosening his tie even as he felt suffocated by it, he released a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding when Cuddy's hand found its way onto his thigh and squeezed lightly in support. He looked her way but she was somehow able to pay much better attention to what was going on than he was and only glanced his way long enough to give him a small smile. So instead of focusing on the proceedings he focused on her, not looking at her because it seemed obvious his eyes should be on the judge, but concentrating on the feel of her hand where it rested and the light weight of it.

Suddenly the judge was giving House his attention and his eyes widened marginally, realizing he better tune in.

"Mr. House, I understand the minor, Rachel Cuddy, and her mother are living with you in your home. Is that correct?" Judge Raymond Bernard asked him.

"Yes, Your Honor," House pulled himself together enough to reply.

"And this is intended to be a permanent arrangement?" the judge continued, studying him.

"Yes, Your Honor," House said once again with a nod at the last second to confirm it.

"You also intend to continue providing for her needs?" the judge asked, reviewing the financial documents included in the file one last time.

"Yes, Your Honor," he said, feeling like a broken record but too nervous to think of anything more to say even as he felt Cuddy's gaze upon him, undoubtedly crooking an eyebrow at him.

"You and the minor's mother also share another child, correct?" Judge Bernard inquired then.

"Yes. Our daughter Evie. She'll be a year old in another… twelve days," he offered, swallowing hard at _that _thought.

"But you and Ms. Cuddy don't intend to marry at present?" the judge queried with interest.

House was caught off-guard by the first question and yet felt like the lawyer had discussed the potential for this question being asked. He just couldn't remember how he was to answer it. "We're not there yet, Your Honor," he bumbled his way into answering. "But I'm committed. I'm committed to Rachel and to Dr. Cuddy too."

"A simple 'Not at present, Your Honor' would have been sufficient," the lawyer mumbled under his breath in amusement.

House shot him a glance but then refocused on the judge who was nodding thoughtfully at him while Cuddy stared at him, wide-eyed now.

"And Ms. Cuddy, it's your wish that Mr. House be legally recognized as the father of your daughter? You wish him to share legal parental rights with you, along with the responsibilities that come with raising her?"

Cuddy's attention swiveled back to the judge at her name being said but her answer was quickly given. "Yes, Your Honor. That's what I would like. Rachel is as much his as Evie is. We'd just like to make it official."

"And Mr. House, you understand what you are getting yourself into? You understand that in adopting the minor child you will share in both the rights and responsibilities for this child with her mother, Ms. Cuddy? That her care and well-being will be in your hands? You understand that this relationship is meant to be a permanent one and in filing for this adoption, your intentions are understood as such?" he pressed.

"Yes, Your Honor," House fell back into saying, nodding in the affirmative, bewildered that the judge actually seemed to be quite genuinely considering this.

The judge nodded and then looked back down at the paperwork before him. "Well," he said as if in conclusion, restoring his gaze to them. "Then I see no reason why this adoption should not be put through."

"You don't?" House asked in disbelief before he could think enough to refrain from conveying just how little he'd expected this as a result, cringing a second later at his own stupidity for asking such an inane question.

"Do you?" Judge Bernard asked in surprise, eyeing him with curiosity now, the lawyer looking at him in disbelief.

"No, Your Honor," House quickly replied with a severe shake of his head.

Cuddy had gasped at House's initial response but now laughed helplessly before interceding. "He's just… overcome at the idea that Rachel could actually and officially be named his daughter."

"That is the point of us being here, Mr. House," the judge said in wry amusement.

"So she's mine then?" House clarified, staring at the judge in bewilderment, clearly still struggling to grasp what was happening. "Officially?"

"I'm going to sign the paperwork now," the judge agreed with a nod before reaching for his pen to do just that, his head bending forward as he looked down at the forms through his bifocals, scribbling his name on the appropriate line a moment later. "We hold an Annual Adoption Celebration ceremony the second Saturday in January to honor those who've adopted during the previous year," he said then, looking back up at House. "You and your new daughter are welcome to participate and I'll have my clerk include the information packet for you to have in case you would like to. There'll be a registration form within. The details are all there, though you can find out more by going to our website. I'm also putting through the name change so Rachel will be issued her new birth certificate with your name listed as father and her new last name represented there as well. Don't forget that you'll need to have a new social security card issued for her and change her name on record with insurance companies and the like."

"Yes, Your Honor," House replied when the lawyer nudged him lightly, still grappling with all this and actually trembling with his trapped emotion.

Cuddy was beaming at him and probably would have jumped him if not for their setting. Instead she grabbed his hand and squeezed, sighing her relief.

"Congratulations, Mr. House," the judge said with a nod of his head and a smile before passing paperwork to the clerk who had gotten to his feet in order to receive it and have it filed.

"Thank you," House managed to articulate after swallowing hard once more, trying but failing to dislodge the knot in his throat.

"You're free to go," Judge Bernard concluded before the next case was being called and the lawyer motioned for them to follow him out.

Cuddy got to her feet before House did, impatient to be able to leave the courtroom and get her hands on him. She leaned into his side only long enough to realize just how shaken he was and then grasped onto his arm as if to support him as they followed the lawyer out.

"So… You're committed, huh?" she teased in a whisper, trying to help him recover.

"I should be committed after agreeing to this," he mumbled drolly, pulling himself together somewhat, quickly reaching up to loosen his tie now that he could get away with it, the courtroom doors closing behind them.

Cuddy breathily laughed at his response, understanding exactly what he'd meant by "committed" and how it differed from what she'd originally referred to his saying.

He turned his head to look at her and dryly echoed her earlier assessment of him, _"Overcome?"_

"House," she wryly replied with a shake of her head as the lawyer gave them a moment alone before laughing again, her stress dissipating. "I have _never _seen you like that before."

He cringed. "And you'll never see it again," he harrumphed then, Cuddy's mouth twitching as she reached out to soothingly rub her hands along his arms, babying him a little as she eyed him sweetly through her lashes.

Biting her lip, actually able to visually watch him calm himself down before her, she finally released a breath and murmured as her hands stilled, "So you're now officially a daddy for the second time."

He released his own shaky breath, rubbing a hand over his face before eyeing her, the beginnings of a first grin of the day stealing its way onto his lips.

"Can I kiss my baby daddy now?" she asked before laughing at how his eyes narrowed upon her, his lips drawing together in a grimace, not pausing for an answer as she just used his shoulder to brace herself and help her reach his mouth, giving him a chaste kiss before he could object to their very public location or to what she'd just referred to him as, though it was truly more her placing her smiling lips to his than an actual kiss.

"Rachel Joy House," Cuddy continued contentedly once she'd rocked back onto her heels, her eyes dropping to his chest as her hand found its way there, stroking up and down his shirt in affection as she smiled softly.

"I didn't think…" House began honestly, just to have his words die away as he released another pent-up breath, still not really believing it.

"I know you didn't," she said, looking up to meet his eyes before refocusing on his tie, loosening it further and then taking it off completely before popping his top couple buttons as an afterthought, House watching her, somewhat amused.

And then she just gave in and threw her arms around him, tie still tangled around one hand. "The judge just acknowledged something that we all already knew," she murmured into his chest as his arms came up and around her.

House groaned but only released her when the lawyer came back their way.

"Congratulations Dr. House," he stated with a smile, his hand out to shake House's.

Cuddy stepped back and House shook the lawyer's hand before she did likewise, thanking him for his services. He briefly summarized what remained to be done and then gave them a file with copies of various documents the clerk had just given him, along with the information for the adoption ceremony. When he left Cuddy turned back to House, reaching for his hand before tugging him her way, the papers safely tucked inside her purse.

* * *

"You're not going to call your mother?" he asked wryly as they headed out of the courthouse, ignoring how she kept sneaking peeks at their intertwined hands and smiling shyly his way.

"This is your news to share," she replied with a shake of her head, squeezing his hand.

He stole a surprised look at her and her smile grew. "How are we going to tell Rachel? That's the more important question. I'm not sure she'll understand but… Maybe what we should do is have anyone who can come over for dinner tonight show up and we'll hold a little celebration of our own. We don't have to invite a lot of people. But we can make it special for Rachel."

House nodded after considering the idea, not because he needed anyone to acknowledge what had taken place today or to get attention. He _so _didn't; didn't want that at all. But… Cuddy had a point. It would be expected that they'd celebrate somehow and Rachel deserved a fuss being made over her.

They drew up next to Cuddy's car and she unlocked it before reluctantly releasing his hand to go around the car and climb in the driver's seat.

"We should stop and pick up groceries then," he said after she'd pulled out of the parking lot and she nodded in agreement before they began to discuss what they might do for dinner, House sending off texts to invite people over, though not clarifying why, and also let Evelyn know that they were making a few stops before they'd be home, Cuddy stealing glances at him, tenderly memorizing his expression so she wouldn't ever forget it.

Ten minutes hadn't passed when he suddenly directed her to turn left. She did so, shooting him a bewildered glance when he directed her into a parking space in front of a jewelry store.

He looked chagrined but mumbled uncertainly, "I should get her something."

Cuddy raised an eyebrow but then nodded encouragingly. "I think that would be a great idea," she agreed, turning the engine off. "Can I come in?" she asked, moistening her lips as she looked to him for an answer.

He gave her a look like that was a given and then they both opened their doors and headed for the front door, Cuddy tempted to slip her hand back in his but resisting for the present.

She followed him about the store, momentarily distracted by the engagement ring display, but House seemed to know what he was looking for and caught her off-guard by being the one to grab her hand, dragging her along behind him before any attendants could inquire if she'd like a closer look, which actually was probably a good thing, she had to admit, sparing them both embarrassment or discomfort. She stared at him in surprise as he came to a stop and then eyed the glass case before them.

"What do you think?" he inquired almost gruffly, casting a glance her way as he pointed to a little bangle bracelet that could be personalized with Rachel's name, a sales attendant currently making his way over to them.

She bit her lip, glancing at him before stealing another look at the bracelet, a little butterfly adorning the side. "It's beautiful, House," she managed to say with a nod.

"Yeah?" he pressed doubtfully. "If you think a charm bracelet would be better or… I don't know… a music box…"

She cut him off with a shaky laugh before wiping at her eyes with the hand that wasn't still in his. "I think it's perfect," she affirmed, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek.

"How may I be of service?" the attendant asked then, stepping up when House looked his way.

"That one," he said simply, pointing out what he wanted to see.

The attendant nodded and unlocked the glass cabinet to remove the bangle bracelet within, passing it to House as Cuddy leaned in against him, sniffing before laughing softly at herself for being so emotional. The attendant went over price options as House turned it over and then passed it to Cuddy so that she could look at it closer.

"I want it in white gold," House told him immediately when Cuddy looked satisfied.

She gasped and then interrupted before the attendant could say anything. "House, that's going to cost you a thousand dollars!" she reasoned. "Rachel's not even three yet. What if she loses it? Just get it in sterling silver."

"I'll get insurance for it," House dismissed.

"House!" she scolded in disbelief, shaking her head at him.

"Cuddy, she became my kid today," he huffed, that simple sentence zapping all the fight from her. "Let me do this. It's not like I can't afford to."

She sighed heavily but then murmured, "Okay, but seriously, please just do the ten karat."

He looked at her but acquiesced.

"Will you be wanting it personalized?" the attendant asked when they appeared to be on the same page regarding the purchase.

House appeared indecisive so Cuddy spoke up, drawing the attention of both men. "Yes," she answered. "It should read 'Rachel Joy House'."

"Can you add 'Love, Daddy' on the inside?" House inquired hesitantly a few seconds later, stealing a peek at Cuddy when she responded immediately to his question by releasing his hand to dig in her purse, looking for a Kleenex, choked up once more.

"We can do that," the attendant agreed before adding, "But at an additional cost."

"Can you engrave it so I can have it today?" House queried more assertively this time.

The attendant looked like he was going to say that wouldn't be possible but House was adamant. "If I'm going to buy it, I want it today."

"This one is sterling silver. Let me see if we have one in white gold in the back," he said before turning to go check.

Cuddy wiped at her eyes again but waited only until the attendant was gone before turning to House and reaching for him so that she could fist his collar in order to bring his head down and kiss him soundly, startling him by her forceful PDA, House blinking at her disbelievingly.

She released him only to ignore how he stared at her in the aftermath, her gaze on his lips as she reached up to wipe her lipstick away from the corner of his mouth.

"You're a basketcase," he remarked drolly then, shaking his head at her emotional state.

"Yeah well, I'm allowed to be," she mumbled back, only glancing up at his eyes for a moment before she wiped a smudge of lipstick from the opposite side of his mouth as well, huffing out a breath as she released him and stepped back.

"You're in luck," the attendant informed them as he returned, a jewelry box containing the white gold bangle bracelet in his hand. "If you'll write out what you want engraved on it I'll have our engraver do it right now for you."

House nodded and then wrote out Rachel's name on the slip of paper the attendant passed to him, along with what he wanted on the inside. He passed it back to him and watched as the attendant walked away again, a weight off his chest at having that settled.

* * *

Cuddy tossed a smile back at House over the grocery bags in her arms as she headed for the door leading into the house ahead of him, already able to hear Rachel yelling their names, obviously having heard the garage door open.

She'd barely gotten the door open when Rachel threw herself at Cuddy's legs with a happy, "You're home!"

Cuddy laughed, using the door to steady herself and then glanced up to smile at her mother who was standing where the hall into the garage opened into the kitchen, Evie in her arms babbling happily and waving her own arms about.

"We just ate lunch," Evelyn said almost apologetically. "We weren't sure when you'd be home."

"That's okay," Cuddy acknowledged as Rachel loosened her hold on her to run to House who had just entered the house behind her, arms equally full of grocery bags.

"Hey kid," she heard House mumble to Rachel, jostling bags about so as to momentarily free a hand to stroke her head where it rested against his thigh.

"How'd it go?" Evelyn could no longer refrain from asking curiously, an eyebrow raised as Cuddy smiled, mouth firmly sealed, passing her a second later.

Evelyn glanced at House and shook her head before releasing a breath, already knowing that things had to have gone well or her daughter would have told her otherwise, but still awaiting verbal confirmation.

"Rachel," Cuddy spoke up then, once she'd set the grocery bags down on the counter and turned back to relieve House of some of his share, meeting the little girl's gaze as she turned to look at her mommy expectantly. "Mommy and daddy need to talk to you for a minute, okay?"

"Okay mommy," Rachel nodded, running back to her side.

House quirked his mouth but set the rest of the bags on the counter before reaching for Evie, rolling his eyes at the look that Evelyn was giving him, drawing a laugh from her lips at his response.

Cuddy nodded her head in the direction of the living room and House shrugged but followed her as she took Rachel's hand, leading the way, Cookie Monster happily tailing them.

Evelyn glanced at the bags waiting to be unloaded but couldn't resist following them, leaning against the wall in the entryway and watching as Cuddy took Evie from House to free his arms.

He released a pent-up breath but sank down onto the floor, Cuddy kneeling beside him as he reached for Rachel, the little girl half-skipping to stand in front of him.

"Rachel," Cuddy began after moistening her lips, aware that House was at a loss for words. "Do you remember how I told you that before you were born mommy really wanted a little girl just like you? Do you remember me telling you that the first day I saw you, I knew I wanted to be your mommy forever and ever?"

Rachel nodded adamantly. "You choose me mommy. Me be your chosen baby girl."

"That's right," Cuddy agreed, giving Rachel a smile and smoothing back her hair. "And you remember how you chose daddy to be your daddy? Remember how you called him daddy even before we lived with him?"

Rachel looked at House and giggled but nodded in answer before taking a step closer to him to lean against his shoulder as she continued watching her mommy, her arm wrapping around his neck absently.

Cuddy bit her lip, a hand rubbing over the side of her face at how cute Rachel was. "Well," she finally continued. "_We _know that daddy is your daddy and that you're his little girl."

"His little big girl," Rachel piped in seriously. "Me not a baby like Ebie. Me daddy's little big girl."

"His little big girl," Cuddy agreed solemnly, biting the inside of her cheek to restrain the smile that wanted out at the current look on House's face. "Well, we all know that you are daddy's little big girl. Mommy knows it. Daddy knows it. Evie knows it. Gramma and grampa know it. Lots of people know it. But not everyone."

Rachel stared at her and then frowned before offering, "Cookie Monster know it, mommy."

House snorted and Rachel looked at him but Cuddy was quick to keep things on track. "That's true. Cookie Monster knows it too. But you remember how mommy told you when she wanted to make you her little girl _officially, _she had to go before someone whose job it was to decide if mommy could keep you forever and ever as her very own little girl?"

"I adopted!" Rachel immediately announced, her smile growing as she nodded, knowing that mommy said being adopted was a very, very wonderful thing.

"You are," Cuddy agreed, smiling brightly, always so grateful that Rachel was proud to be adopted.

"And you be my foreber and eber mommy now," Rachel continued, leaving House's side to throw her arms around Cuddy's neck, pressing kisses to her cheeks and giggling happily, thankfully not hitting Evie in the process.

"I am, Rachel," she confirmed, pressing a kiss to Rachel's cheek before she was let go. "But I need to tell you something that happened today. Something extra special."

"Okay mommy," Rachel replied with another nod, patting her mommy's cheek before giggling again.

"But you've got to listen to me, okay little big girl?" Cuddy pointedly murmured.

Rachel nodded immediately.

"Okay. Well you chose daddy to be your daddy and he chose you to be his little big girl. But daddy wanted _everyone _to know that you're his chosen little big girl. So you know what he did?" Cuddy asked.

Rachel shook her head, her attention now divided between her mommy and her daddy, eyes scanning his face.

"Daddy decided to make it official too, just like mommy did. So this morning daddy and mommy went to see someone who had to decide if daddy could keep you forever and ever as his very own little big girl. And that man said yes. He decided that daddy must be a pretty good daddy if you love him so much and daddy loves you so much to want to have you as his forever and ever little big girl. So today that man decided to let daddy adopt you and signed an important piece of paper saying just that; that you're now daddy's little big girl forever and ever."

Rachel's mouth had already fallen open in a round 'O', her eyes equally big as she looked from her mommy to her daddy. "I adopted two times?" Rachel asked in obvious delight, holding three fingers up.

House did laugh then, his relief at Rachel's reaction obvious. "Two times," he agreed finally seconds before Rachel threw herself into his chest, knocking him off balance slightly before he caught himself with a hand hastily thrown out to steady himself against the couch nearby.

"We thought we'd have a little party tonight to celebrate, Rachel. Would you like that?" Cuddy asked after adjusting Evie in her lap to free the hand closest to House up so that she could touch his shoulder, watching him as he stroked Rachel's back tenderly, doing her best to blink back the tears that wanted to spill out. "We thought we'd invite gramma and grampa, Erika, Trevor, Uncle Wilson, Aunt Cameron and her family… What do you think?"

Rachel loosened her hold on her daddy to pull back, shoving hair out of her face before nodding happily at her mommy.

"You come gramma?" Rachel asked, catching sight of her grandma then. "You come to my party?"

"I would love to," Evelyn managed to say as she swiped at her eyes, laughing when House looked at her, askance.

He shook his head but then reached in his pocket to pull out the jewelry box the store had wrapped for him. "I've got something for you, Rachel," he said gruffly then, his attention switching back to her.

"A present, daddy?" Rachel declared excitedly, practically squealing as she jumped up and down, clapping her hands. "A present for _me?_"

"Yeah," he replied, holding it out for her to take.

Rachel snatched it from his palm and somehow managed to unwrap it all on her own in a flurry of silver ribbon and baby blue wrapping paper. House helped her lift the lid on the jewelry box though, the lid being weighted to prevent it from opening unintentionally.

She gasped as House revealed the bangle bracelet to her and House chuckled at her reaction. "_So pretty, daddy!_" she exclaimed. "An' it got a budderfly there!"

"And it says your name, Rachel," Cuddy interjected. "It says 'Rachel Joy House' because daddy and mommy wanted you to share his name just like Evie does."

"Is that okay, Rachel?" House quickly asked. "Are you okay with being Rachel House instead of Rachel Cuddy? Because if you don't want daddy's name…"

"I think it's a lovely name," Evelyn volunteered, drawing all eyes to her momentarily. And then unable to resist, she helpfully added, "Maybe mommy will want to change her name to House too."

"_Mom!" _Cuddy protested at the same time House went into a coughing fit, Rachel jumping up and down exclaiming, "Yeah, mommy! We all be Houses! _ Together!"_

Feeling color just flood her cheeks, Cuddy avoided looking at House and got to her feet with Evie before attempting to joke it all away. "Besides, how confusing would _that _be? House doesn't even remember my first name anymore. It'd be way too confusing to suddenly have him calling me _House."_

And then she quickly slipped from the room, not looking back, pausing only long enough to give her mother a dirty look and pass Evie to her before heading for the kitchen to put groceries away lest the ice cream melt completely. Only once she was all alone did she sigh and rub a hand over her face in disbelief at her mother's audacity, wiping away tears a moment later at how happy Rachel was, now officially House's little big girl, even if they'd all known that was exactly what she was, even before a judge had said so.

* * *

Surprisingly, even without knowing what was going on, or perhaps because of that, everyone invited showed up, including Julia who drove the three hours following a brief conversation with her mother shrouded in mystery that had left her beyond curious as to what was going on, though she _had_ abandoned her husband to take the kids to their sports practices rather than force them to miss them in order to accompany her.

Cuddy had ended up asking her father to bring the fold-up tables she had out in the garage at home that she'd used for Rachel's first birthday so that they could all eat outside, picnic-style, House grilling. By seven everyone was present and accounted for, trying to get information out of those who seemed to be in the know but not meeting with any success, no one thinking to nudge Rachel for information, though she had been told not to tell anyone, just in case.

Once they were all seated Cuddy looked at House, trying to bite back a smile at the expression of discomfort on his face. Shaking her head before sighing she finally opted to take the lead in this, used to the spotlight after all her years at PPTH in administration. Getting to her feet, she waited until everyone was looking at her before saying, "We want to thank you all for coming at the last minute. It means a lot to us that you were all able to come. You're all… important to us," she continued just as House groaned audibly, his head rolling back on his shoulders, horrified at her stating something like that.

Everyone laughed except Wilson who was still a little uneasy about what to expect in everything that was playing out and Cuddy who reached over to smack House lightly, shaking her head in exasperation before turning back to everyone else. _"Anyway," _she continued dryly, "Today's actually a very special day for _Rachel_ and so we wanted to celebrate it with you all. Rachel? Do you want to tell everyone why we're so happy today?"

All eyes had already shifted to Rachel in confusion and surprise but she nodded and Evelyn reached to steady her as she scrambled upright on her chair, smiling shyly before murmuring _just _loud enough to be heard in the expectant silence, "Daddy adopted me today. I'm daddy's little big girl foreber and eber now."

Wilson's gasp was the most audible, causing House to roll his eyes. But Erika was the first to speak up. "That's wonderful House! Congratulations! Congratulations Rachel!"

And then everyone was talking at once, either to Rachel who enjoyed the attention or to House who looked like he'd appreciate it if the earth opened and swallowed him up. Cuddy thought briefly of running interference for House but then decided he could handle it and got up from her seat to start filling glasses with ice, laughing when he scowled at her for abandoning him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Wilson demanded. "I'm your best friend."

House rolled his eyes but then dryly muttered, "Because I thought for sure they'd turn me down. How was I to know the judge would actually be crazy enough to agree to this?"

Erika laughed but pushed her chair back to go to him, hugging his neck from behind before congratulating him again.

"That's wonderful, House," Cameron spoke up next. "Rachel's clearly thrilled. And I imagine you are as well. Congratulations. I'm just relieved to know that your appointment in court today didn't end with one of us being required to come pay bail," she added teasingly, adjusting Elliot against her chest.

Cuddy smiled tenderly at Rachel who was showing off her bracelet, Julia admiring it attentively, Evie on one hip.

"Rachel Joy House, huh?" her dad asked from behind her.

Turning, she looked at him before biting her lip. "Does that bother you dad? I didn't really think much about Rachel being the only one of the next generation to carry the family name," Cuddy admitted honestly.

"No," he replied with a shake of his head, his hands in his pockets. "I never assumed she'd carry the name forever. Figured she'd change it when she grew up and married, at least. But… it's fitting. It's her sister's last name and… House is technically her father now."

"Yeah," Cuddy murmured with a small smile, her father not missing how her eyes shined.

"Just don't go changing yours," he gruffly muttered, narrowing his eyes at her.

Cuddy's eyes opened wide as she bit her lip to contain her smile. "I don't think you have anything to worry about, dad," she reassured sarcastically, stealing a peek at House anyway almost unconsciously then.

"Good to hear," Richard dryly responded, not missing how she'd glanced at House all the same.

"Want to help me?" Cuddy asked to distract him.

"Sure," he replied with a nod, pulling his hands out of his pockets to take glasses now containing ice from her to pass them around the table.

"Rachel, you need to sit down so that you don't fall," Cuddy admonished as she turned to catch sight of her eldest still precariously perched on her chair.

"Yes mommy," Rachel accepted, taking her grandma's hand as she offered to help her sit down.

Julia came Cuddy's way then, adjusting Evie in her arms. "Talk about big news," she said with a smile, eyes widening momentarily.

Cuddy laughed but nodded.

"I'm really happy for you all, Lisa," Julia added with a smile, tucking her hair back behind her ear.

"Now we just have to wait for a court date for me to go before the judge regarding Evie," Cuddy murmured.

"Did you contact the lawyer who represented you before…?" Julia asked before trailing off.

Cuddy bit her lip but shook her head. "House didn't like him. I don't think he liked his lawyer either, though. He said we'll probably get notification in the mail shortly anyway. Mom's keeping an eye out for anything that might come for me at the house, although I did put a 'forward mail' on anything that goes through the post office. Once it arrives though I'll probably call the lawyer who represented House today and who helped me adopt Rachel. See if he'd be available for this."

"What was today like?" Julia asked in curiosity, pressing a kiss to Evie's head as the baby started squirming.

"She's probably hungry," Cuddy acknowledged, reaching to take her. Then she smiled before stealing a glance at House again, noting he was currently rolling his eyes at something Wilson was saying before she confided, "I've never seen House nervous about anything but he really was. I've never heard him be so polite either," she quipped before laughing, glancing back at House to find him looking at her, his eyes narrowing when she instantly bit her lip and turned away before laughing again.

"Time to eat," House declared then, sounding a little put out and causing Julia to laugh before she turned to take her seat at the table, Cuddy shaking her head before going back to sit next to House at the table, passing Evie to him to give him something to occupy himself with before she uncovered the still hot aluminum-wrapped food, passing the first platter down the table.

* * *

"Can I come in?" Cuddy asked after rapping her knuckles against the doorframe to House's bedroom later that night, all their guests having gone home, Julia intending to spend the night at their parents before driving back first thing in the morning.

"Yeah," House replied, looking at her from over his reading glasses, clearly perusing the paperwork the lawyer had given them as the file was right there beside him.

"Mmm, you make reading glasses sexy," she murmured teasingly as she crawled onto the bed and settled against the pillows beside him, still studying him intently.

He snorted but made no comment.

"What are you reading?" she asked him then, redirecting her thoughts and leaning towards him to settle her head on his shoulder, her eyes going to the papers before him.

"Just reading about that celebration thing the judge mentioned," he mumbled back, flipping to the next page.

"Mmm," she acknowledged. "You should think about it. Rachel and I didn't make it last time."

"Why not?" he asked, an eyebrow quirked, turning his head to try and eye her though he couldn't see much of her face due to how they were sitting.

"The adoption took time going through so she was already a year old by the time it was official and the next celebration took place. To be honest, with the timing falling right when… I began cycling out of control, it completely slipped my mind. I never even thought about it. But I held the Simbat Chat for her so it doesn't really bother me all that much," she concluded with a little shrug.

"Maybe if we did it, you could participate too," he suggested quietly after a long pause in which he considered what she'd just disclosed.

"Maybe," she acknowledged noncommittally, turning her head to press a kiss to his shoulder in an unspoken gesture of gratitude for thinking of her.

"Rachel's really proud of her bracelet," Cuddy murmured softly then, clearly amused. "She spent half the night showing it off and getting others to admire it with her."

House harrumphed but Cuddy knew he was glad that the present had gone over well.

Biting her lip, she finally sighed and inquired, "Can I ask you something, House?"

"Yeah," he replied, setting the papers aside and readjusting the pillow behind him somewhat before removing his glasses and rubbing his face tiredly.

"Will you tell me about the day when you went to court to determine Evie's custody arrangement?" she queried thoughtfully.

"What do you want to know?" he asked, almost surprised that she was only now asking him this.

"I don't know. Everything, I guess," Cuddy admitted before moving away from him so that she could see him better, eventually just sprawling out on her side upon his bed, propping her head up in one hand as she watched him from down by his calves.

"It was that judge from the Tritter fiasco," he mumbled as a start, his nose scrunching up in distaste.

"What?" she asked in surprise, her own forehead drawing together as a response.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "That's how _I_ felt. But wait. I told you this Cuddy."

She had to think about it but then acknowledged, "I vaguely remember registering that the judge was a woman but… I think I was too caught off-guard by finding out I still had my parental rights to really register that you'd told me that. Did she remember you?" Cuddy inquired, levering herself upright now to sit beside his knees, watching him.

"Apparently I'm not so easy to forget," House drolly quipped, smirking half-heartedly.

"No, you're not," she agreed, a slight smile playing on her lips. "What did she say when she recognized you?"

He shrugged but wryly admitted, "That she'd hoped not to see any more of me and then asked if she'd be holding me in contempt 'today' as well."

"Wow. She really did remember you," Cuddy murmured before actually laughing lightly.

"Yeah," he agreed dryly, absently reaching for her nearest foot to run his index finger down the bottom of it until she shoved his hand away, her foot having jerked in response to his touch, obviously ticklish.

"Were you… like you were today?" she couldn't help but ask then, sobering when he drew his hand back, only briefly smiling at her.

He narrowed his eyes at her, understanding what she meant, but shook his head. "It wasn't the same thing."

"So what happened?" she prompted, biting her lip in response to his clear turn towards the more serious.

"She said it was pretty much an open and shut case. I… explained the situation to some extent and she gave me physical and legal custody," House summarized.

"But what about the termination of my parental rights?" Cuddy couldn't help but press, worrying her lip after she'd managed to say those words without pausing. Or crying.

"I told you," House replied with another shrug, referring to when he'd first told her that her rights had not yet been terminated. "I asked her to hold off on it for a year and your lawyer objected because that wasn't what you wanted. I… I asked how hard it would be to overturn the termination of your parental rights if you were to someday change your mind. She said I'd be free to determine if you could be involved in Evie's life or not but a reversal would be practically impossible. She made it sound like an adoption would be the most likely route for you to take should you change your mind and a judge prove willing to agree to it. But she pointed out that it would be a long, drawn-out affair and that obviously didn't interest me. Meanwhile your lawyer kept interrupting to remind everyone there that it didn't matter because you had no interest in keeping your parental rights while my lawyer was an _idiot_ who just wanted me to shut the hell up so we could be done with things, though… part of his argument was that if the termination didn't go through, I'd… run certain risks, should you eventually change your mind." House didn't bother to expand on that. "Then your lawyer basically accused me of being after your money, as if what I really wanted was child support from you throughout the next 18 years. Obviously that wasn't my prerogative. I just… didn't want you to regret your decision and I… didn't want Evie to have officially lost any hopes she had of having her mother be _legally_ just that. It went back and forth and then I think the judge finally agreed to wait a year just to get us out of her courtroom," he concluded in semi-annoyance with everyone he'd had to deal with at the hearing, rolling his eyes in dismissal. "That's basically what went down."

Cuddy slid her hands out to her sides, allowing her upper body to fall back against the bed, staring up at the ceiling as she bit at the inside of her bottom lip. "You're a good man, House," she murmured finally. "I don't know how you could still look out for me after everything."

He snorted but then mumbled, "Don't make me into a hero. Your lawyer was more championing your causes at the time than I was. Not that I wanted you to lose your rights and regret it but… It was in Evie's best interests too."

"That just makes you a good daddy too," she replied, pushing herself back upright before crawling on her knees towards him. Pausing only a foot from him, Cuddy asked softly, "I know you're just as much Rachel's dad today as you were yesterday but… is it okay that I really am happy to have it official?"

House rolled his eyes but the corner of his mouth quirked up. "I'm glad it's official too," he surprised her by acknowledging seriously.

Her gaze flickering from his eyes to his mouth and then back to his eyes again, she murmured, "Do you think that when it's my turn to stand before _my_ judge, there's a chance I can convince her to not deny me the opportunity to be Evie's forever and ever mommy? Despite all my mistakes and what I previously wanted?"

"Yeah, I do," he mumbled, absently reaching to tuck a loose curl back behind her ear, only aware of it when she leaned her cheek into his palm afterwards.

"Okay," Cuddy whispered in acceptance, crawling that last foot to bring her face near to his, House's hand still cupping her cheek.

"Besides," he continued thoughtfully. "I think I've grown on her."

"How is that in _my_ favor?" she couldn't help inquiring, biting back an affectionate smile all the same.

"Well, you did perjure yourself for me. That's in your favor," House smirked.

"Yeah, except I can't tell her that," Cuddy replied, laughing softly at him regardless.

"She _knew,_" he dryly responded. "She just didn't care. She didn't like Tritter much more than we did."

Cuddy laughed again but then chose not to respond, reducing the space remaining between them until it was nonexistent, her lips capturing his as one hand cupped the hand still resting against her face, the other raking through his hair, relying on House to keep her balanced enough to not fall on him.

They kissed leisurely for long moments before she pulled back just enough to murmur against his lips, "Our daughters are lucky to have you, House."

He shook his head in disagreement. "I'm lucky to have them," he corrected earnestly.

And then she was kissing him again.

* * *

"_**I know a girl  
She puts the color inside of my world  
But she's just like a maze  
Where all of the walls all continually change  
And I've done all I can  
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands  
Now I'm starting to see  
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me**_

**_Fathers be good to your daughters_**  
**_Daughters will love like you do_**  
**_Girls become lovers who turn into mothers_**  
**_So mothers be good to your daughters too_**

**_Oh, you see that skin?_**  
**_It's the same she's been standing in_**  
**_Since the day she saw him walking away_**  
**_Now she's left_**  
**_Cleaning up the mess he made_**

**_So fathers be good to your daughters_**  
**_Daughters will love like you do_**  
**_Girls become lovers who turn into mothers_**  
**_So mothers be good to your daughters too_**

**_Boys, you can break_**  
**_You'll find out how much they can take_**  
**_Boys will be strong_**  
**_And boys soldier on_**  
**_But boys would be gone without the warmth from_**  
**_A woman's good, good heart_**

**_On behalf of every man_**  
**_Looking out for every girl_**  
**_You are the god and the weight of her world_**

**_So fathers be good to your daughters_**  
**_Daughters will love like you do_**  
**_Girls become lovers who turn into mothers_**  
**_So mothers be good to your daughters too_**

**_[x3]"_**

* * *

Song: "Daughters" (John Mayer)


	114. I'd Come for You

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(You guys do realize that we're getting into the final stretch now, right? This story isn't just going to go on FOREVER. I just want to prepare you...)_

* * *

September 14th, 2011

Cuddy held the door open for Rachel to run inside before allowing it to close behind her. Adjusting Evie in her arms she turned to set her purse down upon entering the kitchen before she glanced absently at the answering machine. No messages. Turning again, she moved to release Cookie Monster from his pen before opening the patio door for him to go outside, Rachel hopping and skipping alongside him, then racing down the stairs to head for her swing set.

Cuddy smiled, sinking down into the lawn chair on the deck, Evie in her lap, before directing her attention to the mail she'd retrieved from the mailbox. And then she paused upon the third envelope down in the stack, addressed to House from the Family Courts division.

It took her a second to realize she'd stopped breathing and another to swallow the lump in her throat, the envelope trembling in her hands as Evie babbled to herself, a toy clutched in her fist. Blinking rapidly, she ignored her pounding heart, pressed a distracted kiss to Evie's head and then continued flipping through the mail, one finger always remaining in contact with that particular envelope while she searched to see if there was another addressed to her.

Realizing that a forwarding address request only lasted so long she made a mental note to alter her address on record with her credit card company and with the companies she typically received mail from each month, though her bill pays were pretty much all done online now anyway. Still, she really ought to go in and change the address on her driver's license as well.

Coming to the end of the stack without finding an identical envelope addressed in her name, Cuddy calculated how long she probably had left on her forwarding address request before they would revert to sending her mail on through to her old address. But if it had been sent there her mother would have called her. So… maybe it was just taking an extra day to get here.

Returning to House's envelope, she traced her finger idly over his name. Then Evie started to squirm, wanting to get down and Cuddy was pulled from her thoughts. She ought to get the girls inside and dinner started.

She… wanted to open the envelope in her hands and find out what it had to say. But she'd have to wait until House got home from his appointment tonight, she supposed.

Readjusting Evie, Cuddy pushed herself to her feet and called Rachel to come inside, Cookie Monster happily trailing her.

* * *

House shut his car door and then turned to head into the house, his eyebrow crooking when he found Cuddy awaiting him in the doorway, leaning into the door, biting her lip as she watched him.

He made his way towards her and she moistened her lips with her tongue before holding the envelope she'd been fiddling with, out for him.

"This came today," she murmured then.

Reaching her, he took it from her hand and then entered when she stepped back to allow him to pass her, glancing at the envelope in mild interest as he was fairly sure from her behavior what it was. They had been expecting it after all. The door closed behind him and then Cuddy was practically up against his back until he came to a stop in the kitchen with her now hovering at his side. His lip quirked at her anxiety but he made no comment before flipping the envelope over and opening it to withdraw the letter inside.

"Did you get yours?" he asked calmly despite assuming from her behavior that she hadn't yet, setting the letter down on the counter without unfolding it before turning to the cabinet to retrieve a glass and then walking to the fridge to decide on a drink.

She stared at him as he took his time getting himself a glass of milk before her eyes flitted back to the letter now on the counter, her hands twitching to grab it and read it, rather than wait on him when he appeared to be in no hurry.

"No," she replied, licking her lips. "It hasn't come yet. I called my mom to make sure it didn't end up there instead but… maybe it will come tomorrow."

He nodded, turning back to her. "Are the girls sleeping?" he asked then.

"Yes! House, come on! This is killing me! Would you just read it? I've been patiently waiting for you to get home all this time. Could you put me out of my misery?" she urged adamantly, motioning towards the letter as if that would help things along.

He grunted at her reference to having "patiently waited", obviously seriously doubting that.

"Well, I didn't open it, did I?" she pointed out, reaching then for the letter only to shove it his way.

"I'm pretty sure that's because the envelope clearly states there are legal consequences for opening a confidential envelope if you aren't the addressee," he mumbled wryly but regardless took the letter from her, unfolding it after setting his glass aside.

She made no move to come stand by him, though it killed her to watch him read the letter silently.

"Court date's set for Thursday, October 20th," he informed Cuddy then, finally glancing up over the letter to make eye contact with her. "It's with Judge Davis but apparently being held in her private chamber, rather than the courtroom. 9 a.m. That's basically the gist of the letter."

He handed it over to her when she reached for it then, though she accepted it with much more reticence than she'd shown since his coming home. House reached for his glass again and drank the milk remaining in it, watching her over the rim of his glass as her eyes scanned the letter.

"... in a private hearing to… to terminate the parental rights of…" Cuddy murmured while she read, her lip already starting to tremble.

"Relax," House interjected before she could break down completely. "That was the original purpose of the court date. It's not a prediction of the outcome. It's what you originally wanted. We'll go, you'll explain that you've changed your mind, she'll dismiss your request and… it'll be done."

He watched as she stared at the letter, unable to read any more as her hands were shaking, the letter along with them. "Cuddy," he soothed.

"Just give me a minute," she managed to mumble. But when the paper slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor when she'd been trying to return it to the counter, House huffed out a breath before moving towards her, enfolding her in his arms even while she stood there, frozen in place, her arms locked up between them as she shook.

She didn't cry but the way she was trembling was more troubling to him than if she had just started bawling. Holding her tighter, despite the discomfort of her raised, clenched fists between them, he rubbed her back awkwardly, frowning against her temple. "Cuddy," he murmured. "It's going to be fine. She agreed to wait a year. That should be enough indication for you to determine she won't be looking to rule _against _you keeping your parental rights when you've changed your mind in the time since I went before her in court. So stop worrying. Everything will be _fine."_

It took a few minutes but House finally felt her relax somewhat into him, burying her face in his chest, and then heaved out his own breath of relief, moving his hand up her back to stroke his fingers through her hair now. When she sniffed he recognized she had begun to cry silently at some point but he made no move to release her, correctly interpreting that she wasn't ready for him to. Her arms relaxed, her fists unclenching, and then she pushed herself closer to him once she'd tunneled her arms down to slip them under his and hug him back.

"House," she finally managed to say, turning her head to the side so that he'd be able to hear her. "If the judge…"

"She won't terminate your parental rights when that's no longer what you want, Cuddy. I promise you that. Now stop worrying. I mean it. It's annoying," he dryly added, the way his fingers carded through her hair countering the irritation coating his last statement.

"'Kay," she chose to accept, sighing softly then, reluctantly smoothing her hands down his back before stepping away when he released her, pulling a tissue packet out of his pocket for her.

She took it and wiped at her eyes but gave him a soft smile. "Thank you," she murmured.

He quirked an eyebrow but then turned to once more retrieve the letter from the counter. "I'll call the lawyer tomorrow," he said as he tucked the letter in his pocket. "Confirm he's available."

Cuddy nodded, grateful to have him handle it. She followed him out of the kitchen but didn't pursue him when he stepped into his room, instead finding herself slipping into Evie's room to stand beside the crib, staring down at her sleeping daughter.

House stopped in the doorway a minute later, watching her momentarily as she hugged herself before the crib. His mouth twitched but he didn't enter, instead turning to go check on Rachel.

Cuddy felt his presence and then heard him go, climbing the stairs shortly thereafter. Sighing, she reached to stroke a hand over Evie's brow before tucking her blanket more securely about her, watching as the baby sighed in her sleep, her head tucking to the side, one little fist up by her head. Pressing a kiss to her fingers she transferred it to the baby's softly parted lips and then reluctantly stepped back to exit the room, hoping she'd be able to spend some time with House, even just huddled into his side while he mindlessly watched one of his shows, before they both went to sleep for the night.

* * *

September 23rd, 2011

House came back down from putting Rachel to bed to find Cuddy in the living room, perched somewhat precariously on a ladder, one arm outstretched to attach a taped streamer to the wall in preparation for Evie's birthday party the next day. He rolled his eyes but headed in her direction, startling her when his hands settled on her waist to keep her steady, allowing her to finally stick the streamer to the wall after glancing back and down at him.

"Rachel asleep?" she asked quietly before turning to get down from the ladder, House allowing her to.

"Yeah," he replied, watching as she moved to the other side of the room with the ladder now, twisting the streamer about so that it curled before scaling the ladder again to attach the streamer to the opposing wall.

"Is this really necessary?" he mumbled dryly, quirking an eyebrow at her.

She laughed at him but nodded before inquiring, "Think it will stay up until tomorrow?"

House shrugged. "You can always re-tape them," he wryly replied.

She nodded and then looked about to relocate where she'd placed the roll of green crepe paper.

He caught on to what she was looking for when she finally spotted it and went to get it so that she didn't have to, passing it off to her.

"Thanks," she murmured, reaching out to stroke a hand over the side of his face in affection before refocusing on what she was doing, tearing off another piece of tape and attaching it, then turning to stick it to the wall.

He looked down to verify that she'd locked the ladder in place only to have his attention turn to her bare legs. She was still in the skirt she'd come home from work in, barefoot, and he pursed his mouth before smiling, reaching out to slowly trace both hands along the smooth lines of her legs from calf to mid-thigh in a gentle caress before stilling where they were at, his fingers flirting with the skirt's hem.

Cuddy inhaled sharply, her eyes closing as she forced herself to swallow. "What are you doing?" she murmured when she was able to, unable to see him as he was behind her but his hands practically burning her and quickly stoking her to a simmer just by their presence alone.

"Nothing," he mumbled, not releasing her at all, his large hands still wrapped around her thighs, thumbs now rubbing circles on the insides of her legs where her flesh suddenly felt extremely sensitive to every whisper of movement.

Cuddy's heart began to race and she moistened her lips to try and attempt saying something but before she could he acknowledged, "I really like your legs."

Her surprised burst of laughter turned into a strangled moan when he drew closer to her and pressed his forehead into the fabric of her skirt covering the side of her derriere, his nose resting against where one cheek began to curve down and inwards to meet her thigh.

"I _really _like this part of you too," he added contentedly, nuzzling her for good measure, feeling her thigh muscles tense and contract against his palms in immediate response and enjoying that as well.

Her breathing was audible now and he couldn't help but be pleased with himself when she repetitively struggled to swallow against the lump in her throat.

"_House,"_ she breathily managed to force out when both of his hands slid a little higher up her thighs and took her skirt up an inch with them, pinky fingers fondling the edge of it, one of her own hands reaching out to steady herself against the wall before her, her other hand gripping tightly onto the top of the ladder to keep her upright. He'd been more touchy feely lately. She'd noticed, _oh how she'd noticed_, but tonight was… far surpassing the touches of the last month, touches she hadn't typically mentioned or brought attention to but simply enjoyed, hopeful, somehow certain it was coming from whatever progress he'd made in his time spent with Nolan. But tonight it couldn't be ignored. Tonight his touches were causing reactions that House would shortly be more than aware of if she couldn't get him to dislodge his face from where he was firmly against her, his breath fanning the flames a little hotter as he heated up the material of her skirt with his exhalations and increased her awareness of him.

House couldn't help himself. He could tell Cuddy was reacting to his touch and he had to test it; he had to get confirmation. It had almost been a month since she'd protested an overture and despite the precariousness of her being on the ladder, he didn't want to take the time to change locations and risk her having time to think and step away from this. So he nuzzled her again but this time his head raised enough so that he could open his mouth afterwards and nip through her skirt where his nose had just been, his bottom teeth grazing her through her clothing before his top teeth allowed him to pinch a little of her skin lightly through the skirt, reluctantly loosening his hold and his teeth so as not to hurt her.

The moan he was rewarded with caused a broad smile to take over his face and then there was really no stopping him from commenting.

"I can smell you," he mumbled happily into her as he took a step to the side while moving his face along the swell of her ass, leaning his forehead into the spot where he knew her back dimpled then, the bridge of his nose easily settling between her cheeks, now aware she was in a thong from where his nose had rubbed over the edge of it. "And you smell _so _good."

"House, you have to…" Cuddy gasped out, eyes wide open.

But there was no resisting his next action. The fingers of one hand spread out more along her skin as his hand slid inward, around the inside of her thigh to come up, further under her skirt, choking her words as his hand rotated, breaking contact with her thigh only for his index and middle fingers to slide up and over her panties, finding her already reacting to him, the rest of his fingers now tucked into his palm but still intimately against her. Cuddy was helpless to keep herself from rocking forward and against his fingers with need, her legs bending as if of their own will to create whatever space her skirt would allow. But the instant she moaned again, rocking back to rock forward once more, her body ready and wanting to demand they take this another step further, words of encouragement on the tip of her tongue, her eyes startled open, she drew in a shaky breath and then pushed against the wall enough to steady herself more on her feet, dropping her hand down to force his hand from under her skirt and off her heated flesh, House relenting and releasing her other thigh as well before stepping back.

She somehow managed to turn around halfway to face him, losing her balance for a second because she was yet unsteady from his touch but able to catch herself by grasping onto the ladder so that she wouldn't fall on him, only to find him staring at the fingers he'd clearly just had pressed intimately against her. She felt flushed and vaguely registered a trickle of sweat as it descended the length of her back but she gaped at him as he slowly brought his hand closer to his face.

"I can remember how good you taste," he mumbled with genuine surprise and she stopped breathing as he followed his words up by bringing his hand to his mouth, tilting his head before licking his fingers each in turn as if for confirmation.

"Oh," she groaned out, her eyes squeezing shut to not watch him, her temperature rising all the more, sweat now trickling down and along one breast as she tried to shut out what he'd said, how it was making her body respond and even how wonderstruck he himself had just signaled himself to be by his apparent rediscovery.

She didn't look at him as she carefully descended the ladder, stepping around him widely then so as not to touch him, mumbling, "I'll finish decorating later" to no one in particular before hurrying off towards the stairs to go upstairs and cool herself down, intent upon taking a cold shower while redirecting her thoughts to something mundane, using the railing to propel herself upstairs all the faster.

House watched her go but didn't bother stopping her, only half aware of her rush to escape him as he sat down on the couch nearby and returned his gaze to his fingers still held up before him, incredibly pleased just to have remembered how much he did enjoy her taste and… having sex with her in general, something he'd struggled to remember for months now. Granted, he hadn't physically responded. That was regretful. Though there really hadn't been much time to either before she'd taken flight. But remembering… remembering felt good. _Really good._ He didn't restrain the strangled laugh of relief that hit him then. This was progress, he acknowledged to himself with a goofy grin plastered to his face. And there was still… Man, there was _hope_. Wait until he told this to Nolan.

* * *

September 24th, 2011

Cuddy squeezed her eyes shut and exhaled before taking the first step to make her way downstairs, Rachel still asleep. She'd intended to come back down last night after House had gone to bed and finish decorating but an hour after she'd gotten out of the shower the lights had still been on downstairs and she'd been able to hear him moving around. Then she'd recognized the likelihood that she could return downstairs once he was actually asleep and finish up without the potential of him hearing her or leaving his room, having another run-in with him when even after her shower she was craving his continued touch, remembering only too well what his tongue had proven capable of the last time he'd sampled every part of her flesh, and she'd given up completely, just not ready to face seeing him after what had taken place in the living room, not when he'd so easily reawakened desires she'd somehow managed to suppress fairly well over the last few weeks by not allowing her thoughts to wander there.

Now she came to a sudden stop, her eyes widening as she realized that House had kept himself busy while she hid from him the night before, hungry for more of him and yet mortified at that fact, by doing his best to decorate with what she'd bought, leaving the now mostly empty supply box sitting on the landing for her to do with as she'd like. Tiptoeing the rest of the way downstairs she took in the fact that streamers now ran the length of the hallway and beyond, decorating the living room and behind her, the dining room as well. She doubted the kitchen would be any different, unless he'd run out at some point. And from the box she'd passed, it seemed there was still a small roll of crepe paper left to go.

He'd told her pointedly over the last week that he wouldn't be helping her decorate, as if that would be sufficient to keep Evie from turning a year old. Really, it had been rather irritatingly adorable, his steadfast refusal to join everyone else's state of animation over the party to come when only a month ago mentioning her impending birthday had been no big deal. Now it seemed quite the opposite. He'd stuck his fingers in his ears and la-la-la'ed when Wilson had preemptively sang Evie 'Happy Birthday' the week before and _not _because he'd been slightly off-key, which Wilson most definitely had been. House had grumbled when her mother had swung by to go over the party menu with her on Tuesday, quickly finding an excuse to make himself scarce. And he'd grunted when she came home on Wednesday with the new dresses she'd bought for Evie and Rachel to wear come Saturday, rolling his eyes before heading off to meet with Nolan.

Yet he'd spent a good couple hours at least decorating the house the night before as she'd intended to, it seemed. Biting her lip, she hesitated when she heard the sound of balloons being blown up coming from the kitchen. Releasing one last pent-up breath she forced herself to continue in that direction, despite what had taken place the night before. It wasn't like she could avoid him today of all days.

"You're on your own with putting these up," he muttered drolly to her when she entered the room, tying the balloon off in his hand before dropping it to join the others, then grabbing another and blowing it up.

She raised an eyebrow at him but glanced around before asking, "Where's Cookie Monster?"

He breathed one last time into the balloon he was currently working on and then answered her as he tied that one up as well. "Outside. He was showing a little too much interest in the balloons. But putting him in the crate after I got up would only have resulted in him waking the girls. Better to let them sleep as late as possible today."

Cuddy nodded and then glanced around to see if he'd made coffee yet, not smelling it if he had but maybe that was because the smell of latex balloons surrounded her.

"I haven't made any," he acknowledged, recognizing what she was in need of before she'd even set sight on the coffeemaker.

She looked back at him and he smiled in a way that instantly made her narrow her eyes at him, backing up immediately when he threw the balloon away to head in her direction.

"House," she warned, her hand out to feel her way along the island as she placed it between them.

He looked at her as if she was behaving bizarrely this morning and then paused, an eyebrow raised in question as to what she was doing. When he began to move again she continued to skirt along the island and away from him, maintaining distance.

"What are you doing?" he finally asked dryly.

"What are _you _doing?" she suspiciously volleyed back.

"Trying to kiss you good morning," he admitted, frowning now before coming to a stop, eyeing her doubtfully.

Cuddy's eyes widened at that and unable to stop herself she asked warily, "Since when do you kiss me good morning and not the other way around?"

"Well, if you don't _want _me to I won't," he grumbled, staring at her a second later before his mouth pursed and he about-faced, moving to make the coffee she had clearly indicated she wanted only moments ago.

Cuddy moistened her lips, seeing the hurt he was trying to hide from her as he busied himself with filling the coffeemaker with fresh grounds and water. Slowly sucking in a breath she made her way around the island and to his side, worrying her lip between her teeth before she murmured, "You know I do. I'm just… used to leading in this." And it's safer _for me _to not mention last night, she thought as well, though her wariness this morning actually sprung from there and not from him initiating anything.

He glanced at her, still frowning. "So what?" he pressed dubiously. "You want to be the one to always initiate things?"

"House," she continued almost apologetically, ignoring what he said. "Please kiss me good morning."

"I don't know if I want to now," he complained.

She huffed out a breath of frustration and rolled her eyes, pushing away from the counter before grumbling more honestly, "Shoot me for being a little leery after last night."

But she'd barely gotten the sentence out before he'd turned and grabbed her waist, spinning her back towards him effortlessly and catching her lips with his own, swallowing her gasp as she watched him, wide-eyed, her lips returning his kiss without her having the presence of mind to consciously decide to. He steadied her and then released her lips but she'd been too stunned to really enjoy the kiss and so she threaded her fingers into his hair, bringing his lips back to hers to kiss him again, eyes closed this time, concentrating on the firm pressure of his lips against hers, always thrown by how a simple kiss could carry with it so much importance.

He smiled sheepishly at her when she loosened her hold on him, reluctantly pressing one final chaste kiss to his lips before releasing him completely and stepping back to return his smile, shaking her head at him before rolling her eyes one last time, this time in indulgent affection.

"How long have you been up?" she asked curiously then.

"Since 5:15," he admitted dryly after looking away.

"5:15?" she repeated probingly before comprehending why he'd be up at that time. Her expression softening, Cuddy bit her lip but then murmured knowingly, "You wanted to be with her when she actually turned a year old."

He rolled his eyes but she knew she was right when he mumbled, "It's not like I woke her up or anything."

"You should have woken _me_," she wryly replied, disappointed now that she hadn't thought to get up for that.

"Next year," he promised casually before smirking and dryly muttering, "Pretty sure you would have thrown something at me or crawled under the bed to escape me if I'd tried coming into your room that early in the morning after how quickly you ran off last night. Assuming your door wasn't locked," he added with an eyebrow quirked pointedly.

She actually _had _locked her door the night before. But she wasn't about to tell _him_ that. She hadn't really thought he'd come after her so… she wasn't sure if it had been to keep her in or to keep him out if he _did_ come upstairs.

"Why didn't you go back to bed afterwards?" she redirected, stopping herself before she could needlessly make him aware that she knew he'd been up later than she had.

House shrugged. "Lot on my mind," he replied dismissively.

She pursed her lips but then thinking of Evie again acknowledged with a soft smile, "It's been a big year for you."

"For all of us," he corrected adamantly.

"Thank you," she murmured in a whisper after moistening her lips again, looking up at him through her lashes.

"Thank you for _her,_" House said just as quietly, reaching up to cup her face with one hand before kissing her softly, breaking the kiss to stroke her cheek momentarily before releasing her completely.

She choked out a strangled laugh that was half sob as he turned to get her a coffee mug but then pressed her face into the middle of his back before mumbling, "It's me who needs to thank you."

He shook his head but informed her, "We're past that, Cuddy."

"I'll never be past it," she admitted, pressing a kiss to his spine. "I'll never not be grateful to you for making sure this day would be possible."

"Then we'll thank each other once a year and call it good," he muttered with an eye roll at how stupid he felt for saying what he just had before instructing dryly, "Now take your coffee."

She laughed, wiping moisture from her eyes after she'd straightened and stepped back from him, allowing him to turn and press a mug into her hands.

"Drink up. You've got a bazillion balloons to do something with and not much time remaining before one or the other of your rugrats is awake," he told her then.

"_My_ rugrats?" she inquired with a raised eyebrow as she watched him, taking a careful sip from her mug so as not to burn herself. "You mean _our _rugrats," she corrected pointedly.

"I'm not claiming them," he negated with a smirk. "Not today. Not when the likelihood of them getting a nap in is slim-to-none and the probability of crankiness, through the roof. Nope. Today they are _all yours._"

"Uh-huh," she murmured dryly. "Only that description of them resembles you much more than it does me," she added under her breath as she turned to check on Cookie Monster outside, only allowing herself to smile when House had left the room, ignoring her comment completely and probably headed to take a shower and get dressed. Setting her coffee down she looked about the room after reassuring herself that the dog was alright, determining where she'd start with the mess of balloons he'd blown up already for her.

* * *

"Thanks for coming early to help us finish with the decorations," Cuddy expressed to Erika after they were all set to go and Wilson and Trevor had finally joined them, the party now about to start.

"My pleasure," Erika was quick to dismiss, waving her thanks off as they headed to the patio door together.

They both directed their attention outside then, Cuddy only too grateful to have had the weather cooperate. Sweeping her eyes over everyone gathered to celebrate Evie's first birthday with them, the only ones remaining to show up being Cameron, Chase and Elliot, she smiled contentedly as she watched her parents kneeling to listen to whatever Rachel was telling them while Blythe and David spoke with Wilson, Trevor over by the grill with House. Julia currently had Evie in her arms, her own boys beside her while her husband headed to see if House needed any help.

"Great day for a party," Erika murmured then, sending Cuddy a smile before her eyes turned to settle on Wilson.

Cuddy nodded her head in agreement, sighing contentedly.

The doorbell rang and she immediately turned back towards the door. "That'll be Cameron and Chase," she called back over her shoulder, Erika not moving to follow her but instead smiling affectionately as she continued watching Wilson, admiring him while he was unaware.

However, when Cuddy opened the door her eyes widened in surprise to not find Cameron and Chase but House's biological father standing before her.

"You look surprised to see me," he said finally when she made no move to greet him, nor to allow him entry into the house, his expression chagrined.

Cuddy tried to work her mouth but was too stunned to speak.

Henry adjusted his hold on the very large present he was carrying to reach for his pocket, pulling out the invitation he'd received in the mail, mostly because he was at a loss himself as to how he'd ended up here today after a couple months of no communication with his son.

"House invited you?" she murmured in shock, finally remembering to step aside so that he could enter.

He flipped the invitation over to show her the brief, scrawled message on the back, _"Come if you want,"_ the handwriting definitely House's.

"Wow," she was helpless to not murmur, motioning for him to enter.

He passed her so that she could shut the door but then stood there awkwardly after replacing the invitation in his pocket.

"Everyone's out back," she acknowledged then, hesitantly stepping past him to lead the way, briefly meeting Erika's confused expression before it cleared, Erika suddenly realizing who this unknown man was once he was close enough to see better, his features giving his identity away.

Cuddy tried hard to wipe the stunned expression off her face that she'd shot at Erika before she opened the patio door for the three of them to finally step outside.

But then the doorbell rang again and Cuddy wavered, vacillating between whether she ought to get it or first figure out what to do with Henry.

"I'll get it," Erika reassured, stepping around them to head back into the house and answer the door.

Cuddy gave her another grateful smile but then directed her attention to those outside, looking for House.

He glanced up just then and met her gaze briefly before his eyes shifted to the man standing slightly behind her. Cuddy bit her lip and knitted her hands together uncertainly as she waited on his reaction.

He floundered for a minute but then ruffled Trevor's hand, saying something to him before heading their way, extending his hand to take Henry's when the older man set the box down beside him to offer it.

"I wasn't sure you'd be able to come," House mumbled then, looking about as awkward now as Henry did.

"Well, I appreciate you inviting me," Henry settled on responding, giving House a genuine smile.

House bobbed his head and then cleared his throat before turning towards everyone else, searching for where his mom was standing so that he could quickly evade this awkward moment and turn Henry over to her.

"Mom's over there," he needlessly pointed out, Blythe already making her way in their direction, David remaining with Wilson who was staring at Henry in bewilderment, just as pretty much everyone else was doing. "She'll introduce you around," he added as Blythe came alongside them then, giving Henry a brief hug in greeting once Cuddy thought to take the present off his hands, thanking him for it as she did so even as Richard stepped up to relieve her of it.

Cuddy's eyebrow rose as Blythe somehow seemed to understand that her son wanted her to play the role of hostess regarding Henry. Unless that had been agreed on ahead of time, she considered then.

She caught House's arm where he stood watching Blythe take Henry around and tugged him towards the door even as Erika came out with Cameron, Chase and the baby. She waited for him to greet them, allowing him to chat for a few minutes without interruption, but her hand had tangled itself into the back of his shirt and she made no move to let go.

Erika quickly caught on that Cuddy was hoping to speak to House, especially as she'd hardly said a word even to Cameron and Chase, and so she excused them all, leading the way outside and freeing Cuddy once more to tug House after her.

He rolled his eyes at the look Erika shot him once Cameron and Chase had stepped outside but then let himself be dragged off into Evie's room, Cuddy shutting the door behind them.

"You never told me you'd decided to invite him," she immediately murmured in surprise after turning back to him.

House shrugged, huffing out a breath. "My mom kept suggesting it, promising she'd act as mediator, keeping him occupied or whatever. I… figured I might as well invite him. It's not a big deal Cuddy. It doesn't necessarily have to mean anything. It's not like I plan to spend time today having some kind of _meaningful _conversation with him."

"Not a big deal?" she echoed skeptically, crossing her arms as she stared at him.

He rolled his eyes. "Don't make something out of it that it's not," he grumbled, pursing his lips at her.

Cuddy expelled a breath, the hair that had fallen across her face fluttering as she shook her head at him.

He smiled lopsidedly at her then, reaching out to brush her hair back, tucking it behind her ear.

She returned the smile hesitantly, sighing now as she relaxed. "You sure you're okay with him being here?" she couldn't help but verify, clearly worrying this might take away from his enjoyment of Evie's special day.

He raised an eyebrow drolly but muttered, "Are you kidding me? I'm hoping it will get everyone off my back about my kid now being a year old and serve as a distraction. Wilson's spent the whole week cracking jokes and irritating me just for the hell of it. And Cameron's acting all sympathetic, like I _need_ someone commiserating with me in this."

"Well, if they've been hovering, this is certainly not going to serve as a reason for them to stop," she wryly replied, shaking her head.

"No," he agreed but then slyly reached out to grab her dress at her waist and draw her in by it, Cuddy not resisting the pull, nor swatting his hand away despite how his hold might stretch the fabric, instead coming closer quite willingly until she was right before him, lifting her arms to settle her hands on his shoulders. "But it might give them another distraction and keep them from annoying me in regards to you," he mumbled into her ear as his head lowered, his nose nuzzling into her hair before he found her neck and pressed a kiss there, Cuddy barely aware of what he was saying, it having been a long time since his mouth had found its way to her pulse point.

"Mmm," she couldn't resist humming as his stubble scraped against her, her hands finding their way into the hair at the nape of his neck as she let her head fall back to receive him, trusting that the party going on outside would keep her in check.

House pressed another openmouthed kiss to her neck before he drew back slightly, Cuddy allowing him to and then blinking up at him, her face lifting in hopes of him kissing her lips now.

But he stepped back with a smile, mumbling, "You've got lipstick on and there's no way I'm going to be caught wearing it. Especially given that Rachel wouldn't be the only one calling me out on it," before he released her, Cuddy reluctantly slipping her hands from his neck and down his chest before dropping them to her sides, sighing her acceptance.

He stepped around her then and out of the room but she remained there, lost in thought.

Only once she heard the patio door open did she tilt her head, wondering if he'd just found a way to distract her too so as to escape this conversation, her brow drawing in suspicion even while a smile stole over her lips.

* * *

House was on the receiving end of many a glance but he ignored them all, his attention centering on his baby girl who was eating up all the attention she was getting. He knew he'd be asked more questions than he would ever wish for once this day was behind them but for now everyone seemed to be content with sending curious looks either his way or Henry's, conversing politely with the man House had even overheard his mother identify as his biological father, but not prying necessarily.

He still wasn't sure why he'd decided to invite the other man. Yes, his mother had suggested it a number of times but that certainly wouldn't have served as cause to twist his arm, should he have been truly against the idea. He _had _found his eyes wandering to the model airplane Cuddy and the girls had gotten him and which he'd assembled and kept on a shelf in his room though, more often than he could count. And of course, Cuddy herself had briefly brought up the idea the previous month, though she hadn't said anything further about it since. So he couldn't really pinpoint when he'd actually entertained the idea,except that he'd surprised _even_ _himself _when he'd brought the idea up to Nolan in a session a couple weeks back, Evie's impending birthday having come up as House elected a momentary respite from dealing with the particular subject that their sessions had centered around of late. And while House _still _wasn't sure he had an interest in pursuing any sort of real relationship with his biological father, he _had _sent the invite before he could rethink it, swiping an unaddressed one from the small pile of invites Cuddy planned to send to their family and friends before hastily scrawling a message on it and sticking it in the envelope to be addressed.

He supposed he'd await Wilson's psychoanalysis of his action before bothering himself further with finding an answer for what could have possibly motivated him to send the invite in the first place.

Directing his attention to the grill, he checked on the charcoal to verify how long it would be before it was ready and then his eyes flicked back to Evie and Cuddy, who had just swooped her up from out of Evelyn's arms. The corner of his mouth curved up as he watched her press kisses to Evie's cheek, the baby squirming and chortling happily in response, reaching for Cuddy's hair in hopes of wrapping a fist in it. They were going to have their hands full today, he acknowledged. The weather had turned out to be perfect for a day outside so they were definitely taking advantage of that, but Evie was not much on sitting still these days so he knew Cuddy's main hope was that she'd be content to be passed around, rather than fighting to be put down on the lawn, Evie not yet walking but cruising like a champ and always getting into everything. Regardless of that fact he'd suggested they just put her in clothes that would accommodate how active she was and let her go. But Cuddy had insisted on the dress she'd bought her with her birthday party in mind and well, how was he to argue with her when her eyes had lit up as they had in even talking about the stupid dress?

Cuddy was talking animatedly with Julia now, bouncing Evie in her arms, the baby trying to crawl right over her shoulder to escape. She turned then, her eyes locking with his, and he couldn't help the dumb grin that took over his face when she paused mid-speech to bite back the happy smile that was blossoming on her face at the connection.

His eyes shifted slightly, noting the humored expression on Julia's face as she recognized what had distracted her sister and looked his way as well. Only then did he remember himself and roll his eyes, quickly turning to head inside and pull out the steaks and burgers he had on standby, leaving the hotdogs for the time being as they wouldn't require as long on the grill.

"I'll get the door," Wilson volunteered as he opened the door for House to step back outside, meat in hand, following him then out on the deck.

"So…" he broached, his hands finding their way into his pockets as he waited for House to say something.

"_Oh brother. Here we go,"_ House immediately bemoaned, rubbing a hand over his face after setting the meat down beside the grill.

"No, I was just going to say…" Wilson quickly backtracked in acceptance that House wasn't ready to share, searching for another subject to discuss instead of where he had been going, "You guys did a great job. Everything looks great."

House straightened to shoot him a dubious look but then shook his head dismissively before opening the lid to the grill to begin placing steaks within. "I don't have a reason for why I invited him," he finally mumbled, deciding to just get it over with. "I just did."

Wilson's eyes widened at House's statement but he shrugged. "You don't have to explain yourself to me," he casually responded as if he didn't know why House had brought _that _up.

"Uh-huh," House just drolly threw back.

"Is there anything I can do to help you Greg?" Evelyn interrupted to ask, both men turning towards her then.

He shook his head. "I'm supposed to let Cuddy know when the steaks are almost done. She's in charge of everything else."

Evelyn nodded and then patted his arm warmly before turning with the intention of checking in with her daughter.

"Wait!" House hissed, reaching past Wilson to stop her, taking a few steps with her so as to be out of hearing range. "The cake?"

She laughed in delight but then looked around co-conspiratorially before whispering back, "Yes. I snuck it downstairs while Lisa and Richard were distracted."

He gave her an approving head nod and then she reached up to cup his cheek, patting him once more while smiling affectionately before walking away.

"What was _that _about?" Wilson inquired suspiciously when House stepped back to the grill.

He wiggled his eyebrows but did not respond and Wilson sighed heavily, shaking his head but making no further comment.

Chase came up beside them, leaning in towards House with a disbelieving look in his eye before dubiously asking under his breath, "Your father is a _minister?"_

House groaned and then snorted as if to indicate he knew he shouldn't have invited Henry.

Chase shot a look at Wilson, his eyebrows up somewhere in his forehead as if to ask, "Did you know about this?"

"_Biological father," _House grunted. "He didn't _raise _me."

"_Still…" _Chase mumbled, shaking his head.

House looked away but he didn't refrain from huffing his amusement at Chase's response to this development.

"Where's the kid?" he asked him then, not seeing Cameron anywhere, nor Elliot.

"He needed to be changed," Chase replied. "You need any help?"

"Like I'm going to entrust you with the grill," House retorted.

Wilson rolled his eyes but House ignored him. "Man the camcorder for me later?" he asked Chase then.

"Sure," he agreed with a nod before walking away to retrieve a beer from one of the coolers lining the deck.

House left Wilson at the grill to go retrieve a platter to place the meat on so that it would keep warm. When he returned Wilson was staring at Erika who was playing with Evie on the blanket Cuddy had finally caved to bring out for her.

"This last year sure has gone by fast," Wilson absently commented.

House shot a look at him but then focused on Evie himself, not arguing with him.

Turning back to the grill he flipped the steaks that were ready to be turned and then added some hamburgers.

"A year ago today you were embarking on single parenthood," Wilson mused. "I wasn't sure any of us would survive that."

House grunted but the corner of his mouth rose with amusement.

Until Wilson quipped, "Hey, maybe we should show that video clip from the night before Evie was born."

"Shut up Wilson," he muttered then, his lips firming into a line.

Wilson just smirked.

* * *

Cuddy enlisted the women present at the party to help her carry out all the food she had ready to accompany the steaks, hamburgers and hotdogs that House had grilled. He watched her go back and forth, _administrating _the placement of food and giving instructions on where to find whatever was yet missing from the table Richard had assembled with Steve's help before the party really had gotten underway. Cameron was entertaining both Rachel and Evie while Elliot slept in his carrier nearby, Erika keeping an eye on him while she and Wilson talked, Trevor playing fetch with Cookie Monster not far away. House couldn't help but think that Wilson was right. The last year had gone by quickly. And it had brought with it so many changes. For all of them.

He turned back to the grill to retrieve the last hotdogs, shaking his head. A minute later one corner of his mouth quirked up as Cuddy came up behind him, leaning into him, her fingers tangling into his shirt at his sides before she pressed her cheek into his back.

"Your mother seems to be managing her two suitors just fine," she mumbled, House barely catching what she'd said.

He snorted at that depiction but glanced to the side to note his mother, David _and _Henry all seemed to be deep in conversation, handling effortlessly what Cuddy clearly thought could have easily proved an awkward situation.

Redirecting his focus to their girls he quickly recognized that Wilson was watching them.

"You're attracting attention," he wryly mumbled, shutting the grill lid now that the hotdogs were on an extra plate he'd grabbed for them.

Cuddy sighed against him, her fingers tightening in his shirt but then disengaging from it as she took a step back, knowing she had things to be doing now anyway. She didn't bother to look around to find out who was watching them, instead stepping to House's side to ask if he wanted her to take the hotdogs for him.

He handed them off to her without argument. "Do we have enough or should I keep the grill warm in case we need to make more?"

"I don't think we'll need it," she replied. "We've got way too much food as it is. We'll be eating leftovers the rest of the week."

He returned her smile when she haphazardly tossed him one over her shoulder before moving off. Then he watched her go, rolling his eyes when she glanced back to see if he was watching her walk away from him, her smile growing at the confirmation.

He was just finishing up with the grill when he looked up to find Wilson once more approaching, not looking too pleased.

_Here we go again,_ House internally scoffed, _knowing _he shouldn't have watched Cuddy as she walked away from him when he already knew Wilson was watching them.

"_You're sleeping with her!"_ Wilson immediately hissed under his breath upon drawing near, his hands bracing themselves on his hips where he stood before him, his expression disbelieving.

"I am not," House dismissed in a huff as if that was the most ridiculous accusation ever, promptly ignoring Wilson as he moved towards him, intending to bypass him.

But Wilson just moved to the side to block him again from going anywhere. _"You are!"_ he asserted, shaking his head with disapproval.

House drew up straight, unable to believe Wilson thought now was a good time to corner him on this. Rather than once more negate what Wilson was accusing him of or retort sarcastically, he gave him a pointed look. "Get out of my way," he muttered then.

"_You're in love with her,"_ Wilson pushed, releasing a heavy breath before scrubbing one hand over his face, clearly at a loss as to what his responsibility to House now required of him to do or say.

"Don't ruin my kid's first birthday party for me, Wilson," House redirected, not wanting to have this conversation now, if _ever, _and accordingly, looking for weaknesses in Wilson's sudden determination to confront him_._

"But you are, aren't you?" he asked more resignedly then.

House rolled his eyes but huffed out a breath before wryly retorting, "It's not like I'm acting on anything."

"You are though," Wilson disagreed. "You are acting on it."

"Not in the way you accused me of," House countered irritably, wanting this conversation over and done with.

"Yeah, well I doubt there's much keeping you from _acting _on it now," Wilson mumbled disgruntledly, turning away to run a hand through his hair before turning back to look at House in mild disapproval.

But the look on House's face had him drawing up short. "House?" he prodded uncertainly, straightening where he stood, not knowing how to read his best friend when he looked away then, swallowing hard.

"_Forget it,"_ House shot back, clearly upset for some reason going _beyond _how Wilson was prying into his relationship with Cuddy.

Wilson stared at him, utterly baffled by the altering of his defiant stance again to one of resignation or… whatever. Clearly he'd somehow touched on a sore spot but…

"What?" he nevertheless pressed, though now his tone carried with it a measure of hesitance.

House just shook his head and then pushed past him now that Wilson had moved enough to allow him room to do so. But he turned back before he'd gone very far and said pointedly, "Wilson, I'm a big boy. And while I might have needed you to have my back in the past, I've still always been capable of making my own decisions. You might not always like them but… tough. They're mine to make." And then House shook his head in frustration again before heading inside, away from where everyone was gathering to eat.

Wilson watched him go, frowning before rifling a hand through his hair, lost as to just what to think now.

But while everyone else appeared ignorant of whatever had gone on between House and Wilson, Cuddy had not been and quickly excused herself to determine what was going on, not missing the fact that House was upset.

"What did you say to him?" she asked irritably upon storming up the deck steps, keeping her voice down so that no one's attention would be attracted to them while she watched the door close behind House.

Wilson stood there, facing away from her, his knuckles on his hips and elbows out, thinking. "I… I accused him of sleeping with you," he answered distractedly, not really aware of what he was saying nor thinking to care about whom he was talking to.

Cuddy drew up short at that, an "Oh," popping from her lips before she could stop it. Sucking in a deep breath in the next moment, she drew her shoulders back and asserted despite all she was feeling, "That's really none of your business Wilson."

He whirled around on her and she took a step back in momentary surprise, her eyes widening. "None of my business?" he demanded quietly, one hand leaving his hip to stretch out towards her, a finger pointed at her chest. "None of _my _business? House _is _my business. He's been my business ever since you…"

"Hey!" Erika interrupted, all bright and cheerily, coming from nowhere and immediately reaching for his arm to pull it back down to his side, using her own body to push him back slightly as she got between them, flashing them both a wide, if forced, smile before she charged on, trying to alleviate the tension before anyone else was drawn into whatever was going on between them or things could escalate. "Great party, Lisa! Everyone seems to be having a great time and Evie's definitely being a little ham, living up all the attention!"

Wilson gave her a dirty look and she clenched her teeth, her smile never faltering as she gritted out, "James, we're at a party to celebrate Evie's first birthday. Whatever it is can wait. This isn't the place for disagreements or whatever else has got you both upset."

When his expression softened somewhat, his arms falling back to his sides, Erika patted his chest briefly before turning her gaze to Cuddy. But she'd barely opened her mouth when Wilson mumbled, "I'm going to go check on House," moving to brush past her.

Well, that wasn't going to work, she immediately recognized as Cuddy straightened to protest, probably feeling if anyone was going to go after House it ought to be her.

To keep them from another argument she quickly caught on to Wilson's arm to hold him back and asserted, "_I'll _go check on House. _You _need to round up Cookie Monster before he steals someone's burger. Help House out by doing that, honey. And Lisa, your father is looking for you. Something about needing extra chairs."

Both of them shot her looks, Wilson's dubious and Cuddy's simply uncertain, but when Wilson bobbed his head and turned to head back down the steps, Cuddy nodded as well, dropping her gaze before turning to go find her father and help him locate the extra chairs stored in the garage. Only then did Erika release a deep sigh, shaking her head at playing mediator before heading for the patio door, slipping within to check on House.

She was surprised to not find him holed up somewhere considering how everyone else was acting but in the laundry room, retrieving another tape for the camcorder. Sidling up alongside him and leaning back against the dryer, she crossed her arms over her chest before flashing him an overly brilliant smile and cheerfully saying, "So…"

He met her eyes and then rolled his own, grimacing before pushing the button to turn on the camcorder so that he could change tapes and put in a blank one. "Whatever Wilson's done now, I don't want to know," he mumbled, glancing back up at her and rolling his eyes once more before shutting down the camcorder, new tape in place.

She laughed under her breath before shaking her head. "I've got him off trying to catch Cookie Monster before he steals someone's lunch. You doing alright?" she asked easily then.

He passed her the camcorder and she took it willingly, freeing him up to dig through the bag, looking for the spare battery pack in case he needed it later. "Yeah," he replied dismissively, stepping out of the laundry room now that he had the battery pack in hand, Erika following him into the kitchen and handing him back the camcorder when he reached for it after setting aside the spare battery pack for later.

"I can film for you," she offered then. "You have enough to do."

"Chase has already been enlisted," he said, correcting her assumption that he'd been planning to do it.

Erika nodded. "What can I do to help you? I think you're ready for a few more 12-packs of pop to be put out but you're good on ice."

"Pop's in the fridge," House directed and she immediately moved to retrieve some, thinking briefly about what the table lacked.

Shutting the fridge behind her she adjusted her hold on the boxes in her arms and then met his eyes, smiling widely as she said, "_One_ already! How does _that _feel, daddy dearest?"

He grimaced but did not respond and she laughed before moving towards the door. "I'll do my best to get James off your back," she volunteered over her shoulder, finally revealing she was more aware of what was going on than she'd made it seem.

The patio door opened at that moment and Erika stepped back and out of Cuddy's way as she looked at her before turning to House. Moistening her lips, Cuddy asked, "House, do you happen to know where the spare chairs are? I can't find them in the garage."

Erika smiled at Cuddy before she made her way past her, heading outside.

"I put them to the side of the deck," he answered after nodding. Heading for her then he led the way back outside, Cuddy following him, giving him a grateful smile before shutting the door behind them, her hand briefly squeezing his before letting go.

* * *

Cuddy tucked a lock of hair back behind her ear, shaking her head before reaching for another piece of wrapping paper, stuffing it into the bag beside her. They'd intended to open presents in the living room but at the last second detoured from that plan because it seemed like more trouble than it was worth, requiring too many chairs to be brought inside the house to accompany all their guests. Instead House had held onto Rachel, somehow convincing her to let Evie open her own presents, while Cuddy had sat on the blanket with Evie before everyone, helping her with her gifts.

Now House had Rachel settled next to him playing with a new toy that Evelyn had wrapped for Rachel so she wouldn't feel completely left out as her baby sister opened gifts, while Evie was happily sitting in Cameron's lap. Cameron was playing patty cake with her as Evie leaned into her chest, quickly growing tired despite all the excitement.

Picking up the last piece of wrapping paper Cuddy threw it in the bag with the rest before tying the bag closed, there not being any more room left in there anyway.

"Cake time?" House prodded her then, looking hopeful.

"Cookies?" Rachel added, her head shooting up to look at her mommy, expression almost identical to House's.

Cuddy bit her lip in amusement but then nodded, smiling at the two of them. "I hope we have enough," she murmured doubtfully a second later. "Mom always used to make our birthday cakes so I thought she might like to do Evie's. But the cake box looks kind of small and mom made me promise not to peek until it was time to serve it."

"We'll be fine," he reassured dismissively, getting to his feet.

"No, House. I'll get it. It's okay," she quickly told him, waving him off.

"You don't know where it is," he smugly said then, moving past her.

Cuddy's expression reflected perfectly her confusion. "Of course I do. I watched mom place it in the fridge."

He just gave her a look, smirking before continuing towards the house.

Cuddy wavered but then followed him, her eyebrows knit in perplexity.

Pulling the cake box out of the fridge a minute later, she frowned once again, this time at the lightness of the box, before she dryly began, "See? I told you it was…" only to straighten and look behind her, House nowhere to be seen.

Placing it on the island she shook her head in dismissal of the last few minutes and moved to retrieve the dessert plates she'd decided to use, along with the knife, carrying them outside first.

She was halfway back to the house when she saw House come out with the cake box and gave him an odd look due to his earlier comment but said nothing when he just shrugged.

He placed the cake box on the table and then Evelyn approached, everyone else drawing nearer as well, assuming it was almost time to sing happy birthday.

"So? What do you think? Do you like it?" Evelyn asked hopefully.

Cuddy immediately turned towards her, smiling widely. "I obeyed instructions. I haven't peeked. But I was just about to open the box, mom. I'm sure I'll love it."

Turning to lift the lid, feeling everyone's eyes upon her, she continued, "You've always surprised me and Julia with such creative cakes. I'm sure this will be no differe…"

House and Evelyn struggled to remain serious as Cuddy stopped mid-sentence, her expression falling as she stared at the chocolate layer cake inside, "Happy 1st Birthday Evie" haphazardly written across the top in a childlike scrawl. Everyone was staring at her, waiting for her reaction, a few drawing closer to see the cake for themselves. It was hard for Evelyn and House to maintain their expressions, especially after as Cuddy stood there blinking, Evelyn somehow managed to proudly say, "I haven't made a cake in so long I was worried I'd have lost my touch. But I think it turned out nice. Don't you, honey?"

Julia had seen the cake by this time and was now eyeing her mother with suspicion, having caught the smirk House shot Evelyn before he sobered again. Catching on, she bit back her own smile.

Cuddy meanwhile didn't know how to respond. She'd been wondering what her mom would come up with since she'd asked her if she'd be willing to do it but she hadn't asked, not wanting to add on pressure, nor had she made suggestions, figuring her mom didn't need her help. Now she thought she probably should have, as the cake was… _nice, _but plain and not at all what she'd expected… and she didn't want to look at her mother for fear she'd fail to hide her disappointment. Confusedly, she paused to think over whether she'd made her mother's past cakes out to be something they hadn't been, due to childhood innocence.

Moistening her lips, she swallowed hard before managing, "It's great mom. Just… lovely. Thank you for…"

And then House and Evelyn lost it and Cuddy whirled around to look at them along with everyone else as they laughed at her, Julia laughing a moment later at her sister's expression, wondering which of the two of them had first come up with the idea of pranking her sister this way.

Narrowing her eyes at the two of them, Cuddy crossed her arms over her chest. "Very funny," she huffed out, shaking her head as Evelyn actually put her hand up for House to high-five, the two still laughing.

"And _you _wanted to cut a slice out of it and have me pretend like I didn't know what had happened but that Richard must have eaten it! I told you that would be too much. Look how well that worked! She was never suspicious, not even for a moment," Evelyn said then, somewhat smugly.

House shrugged his agreement, still smirking.

"Where's the real cake?" Cuddy asked sternly then.

"That one's for later tonight," House filled in, indicating the cake she'd just revealed. "For filming Evie when she's not all dressed up. The real one's inside."

He retrieved the cake he'd just brought out so he could return it to the fridge and then headed back in to exchange it for the real one, grabbing it from where he'd hidden it after bringing it upstairs, before carrying it outside.

"Hey, you're lucky, honey. Greg wanted me to let you see the cake before the party even began and have some time to stew over it," he overheard Evelyn ratting him out.

Mock-scowling at her, he placed the much larger, _real_ cake box on the table, ignoring how no one seemed to know what was going on, short of the few who had witnessed Evelyn's cake-making abilities in the past, something he himself had been unaware of up until he heard Cuddy make her request that her mom be in charge of the cake.

Cuddy rolled her eyes but moved towards it, sighing at their continued amusement at her expense. She hesitated to open the box though, giving them both a humorless glare first.

"Go ahead and open it," Evelyn reassured, still smiling. "I pulled out all the stops. I even tried my hand at using marshmallow fondant."

Cuddy did so and there was a collective gasp as people realized why Cuddy had reacted the way she had while marveling at the cake before them. Evelyn had gone all out and now that the lid was off, continued to do so as she pulled out a hidden container and first placed the numbered candle in before she revealed the decorative cookies she'd made to be placed on the cake using the stakes she'd attached them to.

"_Mom, it's lovely,_" Cuddy murmured in delight, shaking her head slightly in incredulity.

Evelyn looked pleased but waved off everyone's compliments as she passed a lighter to her daughter.

"House," Cuddy breathed then in continued admiration, looking at him to capture his reaction.

He rolled his eyes. "It's… _girly_," he whined, eyeing the triple layer cake with its pink fondant; the bottom layer decorated with green and blue stripes of buttercream frosting, the second decorated with little ladybugs made of marshmallow fondant, while the base of each layer was lined with little flowers. Shifting his gaze to the banner-like strip of yellow fondant on the side of the top layer, "Happy First Birthday Evie" done in calligraphy, he wryly suppressed his approval at how professional the cake actually looked while Evelyn poked several artfully done ladybug and butterfly cookies into the top layer, undoubtedly for Rachel's benefit, their real little Cookie Monster.

"On second thought," he muttered in protest, sneering at the cake. "I think I'll just go get myself a slice of the chocolate one."

Cuddy rolled her eyes and caught him when he turned to head for the house, pulling him back by his t-shirt as she shook her head at his antics.

"Them cookies for me, mommy?" Rachel piped up then, tugging on the hem of her dress to gain her attention, already reaching out for one. "The budderfly ones?"

"After we sing 'Happy Birthday' to Evie," Cuddy promised, House throwing Rachel a wink over her shoulder.

"Dad, can you get a picture of this before we light the candle?" Cuddy asked then, turning to look at her dad, his camera already close at hand.

He nodded and proceeded to take several pictures of the cake, Cuddy cajoling her mom to stand beside it with Evie in her arms for at least one shot, Rachel quickly also running to grandma to stand before her and beside the cake, wanting to be in the picture too. Then Evelyn passed Evie back to Cuddy, who passed her off to House before picking up Rachel so she could see better and do the job Evie would be too little to do by blowing out the candle for her baby sister. Finally Cuddy lit the candle so everyone could sing and they all sang "Happy Birthday" while Chase filmed everyone. Once Rachel helped Evie to blow out the candle Cuddy set her down, encouraging her mom to cut the cake before helping to serve everyone, House sending Trevor into the house for the ice cream they'd forgotten to bring out.

* * *

Cuddy walked into the living room later that evening after everyone had gone and the girls were in bed having conked out early, to find House sitting on the couch with his laptop, smirking at the picture they'd taken of Evie eating a slice of her first cake, blue and green buttercream frosting smeared across her face and tangled in her hair. Cuddy sank down on the couch beside him, leaning against his shoulder as she smiled over the picture and then asked, "Can you pull up the video of her eating cake?"

He nodded, minimizing the window for the pictures before pulling up another window, clicking his way through files until finding the video she was asking for.

Cuddy laughed when the clip started with Evie sitting on a towel on the kitchen floor, clad only in her diaper, House setting a large piece of chocolate cake before her, her legs to either side of it.

"_House, that's a really big slice," Cuddy doubtfully expressed from off camera._

"_It's not like she's going to eat it all," he dismissed dryly in reply._

"_Eat it, Ebie! Eat it!" Rachel encouraged from where she hovered right next to her sister, squatting as she grinned at Evie before turning her head to the camera. "She gonna eat it, mommy?" she asked, her face turning to just off camera as she looked up at her mom._

"_Just give her a minute. I'm sure she will. And be careful Rachel or she might get cake on you too," Cuddy was overheard to warn her, Rachel nodding but only backing up an inch._

_Evie meanwhile was hesitating, looking from one person to the next before returning her gaze to the cake before her, undecided as to where she should focus first. House had expected she might just lean forward and lower her mouth to the cake but instead she tentatively reached out towards it, her hand instantly covered in chocolate frosting as she batted at it. Then she chortled before both hands grabbed a chunk of it and brought it to her mouth, half of it breaking off before more little pieces followed suit when she clenched it a little harder, looking up to grin at everyone in turn upon remembering they were all watching her attentively. She turned serious once more, her fingers mashing the cake as she tried to get it in her mouth, meeting with some success._

_House laughed in the background, Rachel giggling madly too and Evie immediately kicked about excitedly, shrieking, her feet quickly finding their way into what remained of the original piece of cake._

_Cuddy was heard to groan but made no comment while Evie stilled in surprise, looking at her feet before squishing her toes more into the cake, giggling then, Rachel giggling again too. Her eyes slowly shifted back to the cake mashed between her fingers and she opened her hand before rubbing it against her mouth, spreading the chocolate around more, her cheeks now covered, along with her chin and nose._

_House said something under his breath that the camera didn't pick up and then Cuddy wryly said, "You get to be the one to pick her up and hose her down when she's done."_

_And then Evie rocked forwards but instead of grabbing more cake, quickly found her way to all fours, scrambling across the floor towards her mommy as Cuddy shrieked herself, laughing then as she tried to get out of reach while the camera went in all directions, capturing all of them for the briefest of moments as House put it down to catch Evie up, Rachel giggling wildly while Cuddy and House laughed wryly as well, the clip coming to an end as the camera was shut off._

House laughed and Cuddy nudged him. "You're lucky she didn't get those chocolaty mitts on my dress," she huffed despite smiling widely at him.

"_I'm _lucky?" he scoffed, darting a skeptical look her way. "In rescuing you I ended up with chocolate handprints all over my shirt, not to mention what smeared across my pants from her feet."

Cuddy giggled and he shot a disbelieving look at her as she clamped her lips shut, her cheeks pinking at the girlish sound she'd just produced. "Someone needs to go to bed," House dryly quipped, rubbing a hand over his own weary face.

She rolled her eyes but couldn't suppress her smile. "Wanna make out instead?" she brazenly suggested, grinning madly and reminding him rather disturbingly he recognized, of Rachel in the video.

"Now I _know _you need to go to bed," he mumbled, staring at her incredulously, instantly thinking of how quick she was to run away when he'd previously tested her boundaries, not to mention his own.

She bit her lip in an attempt to control her smile and he carefully set the computer aside with one hand before turning slightly so he was facing her more. Reaching towards her as she readjusted herself on the couch so he wasn't holding her up, House brought his right hand to her cheek, cupping it, Cuddy immediately leaning in to his touch, her expression softening.

"It was nice of Henry to hand-carve that rocking horse for Evie," she murmured then, her eyes widening at the remembrance of discovering it within the bulky box he'd wrapped and having him explain he liked to carve in his spare time. Though they'd shared a glance when Cuddy and Evie had first opened the present to reveal his thoughtful gift, this was really the first chance she'd had to say anything about it to House himself.

He nodded, stroking his hand over her cheek again before releasing her.

She sighed and then softly asked, "Are you glad you invited him?"

He shrugged. "I'm not regretting it," he replied instead of answering directly.

"Do you want to invite him to Rachel's birthday party next month?" she inquired next, continuing to watch him.

House puffed out a breath but shrugged again. "Sure," he finally responded blandly.

"Are you… going to try to get together with him? Get to know him? Let him get to know you?" she couldn't resist pressing.

"I don't know," he replied noncommittally. "Haven't given it much thought."

"Well, what do you want the girls to call him?" she queried after moistening her lips, her eyebrows wrinkling in her uncertainty of just what the options were.

"I don't know Cuddy," he said in mild exasperation. "Does all of this have to be decided today?"

"No," she acknowledged with an accompanying shake of her head, giving him a small smile then. "But I'm pretty sure your mother will decide for you if you don't come up with an answer by Rachel's birthday."

He rolled his eyes when she couldn't resist continuing the conversation, even if she changed the focus.

"It was a good first birthday party, wasn't it? I mean, with the exception of Chase and Cameron, we really don't know anyone with small children. But the girls still had a fun time, even if it was mostly adults," Cuddy murmured, clearly weighing the success of the party.

"I don't think it matters yet," he mumbled honestly, pursing his lips at Cuddy's concern, regardless of how minor it was. "It'll be different when they're older."

She nodded. "But you liked the cake?" she slyly asked, looking down.

He squinted at her and then replied, "The chocolate one? Yeah. It was great."

Cuddy brought her eyes back to him, narrowing them despite the smile curving up the corners of her mouth.

House snorted but rolled his eyes before acknowledging, "She called me at work to tell me what she was thinking. But I never thought it would come out looking that good."

Cuddy smiled and in gratitude for his honest answer, leaned forward, catching his cheek with a hand before pressing a kiss to his other cheek.

He squinted at her once more but made no comment.

* * *

September 30th, 2011

House had just arrived home with the girls when his cellphone rang. Pulling it out of his pocket he hit the talk button, noting that it was Wilson.

"Yeah?" he said in greeting as he set Evie down on the floor, Rachel running off already to pet Cookie Monster.

"House," Wilson replied immediately, not wasting a minute but getting right to the point as he had just received an urgent page regarding a patient and was en route to his hospital room. "Can you come to PPTH? Cuddy needs you. She was in a car accident on her way home. Came in with the ambulance. She'll be in surgery for another twenty minutes."

House's heart stopped in his chest and all sound died around him as he dropped the phone on the floor without even being conscious of it, it having slipped right through his fingers. Suddenly he was scooping Evie up and grabbing Rachel around her middle, limping out of the house as fast as his legs could carry him, heedless to the pain his thigh was quickly screaming at him in protest with, not even bothering to shut the door as he exited through the garage and carried the girls over to Erika's house, Rachel clinging onto him but giggling while Evie babbled, both girls thinking this was a game.

He pounded on Erika's door and she opened it ten seconds later, looking at him as if he had lost his mind. Ignoring her look he passed Evie to her, setting Rachel down, who promptly ran inside, calling for Trevor. "Take the girls," he gruffly commanded. "Cuddy's been in an accident. I've got to get to the hospital. I need to go to her."

Struck mute, she nodded and watched as he turned and headed back home for his car faster than she'd ever seen him move in all the time she'd known him. Bringing Evie inside to then track Rachel down, she shut the door behind them with reluctance and tried to focus enough so she could concentrate on finding a way to keep the girls distracted and happy for as long as she could, considering House had just left looking like their mother was knocking on death's door.

* * *

"House? _House?!_" Wilson shouted into the phone, not understanding why he wasn't getting a response from his friend, wondering momentarily if the connection had been bad and he'd lost him.

Just then he reached his patient's room only to find a team of people within trying to restart the man's heart. If he survived they would have to consider a different treatment plan for his lung cancer. Tucking his phone in his pocket he raced within. Hopefully House had heard him and would be able to come pick Cuddy up, now that her car was somewhere out of commission and he was unable to give her a ride home. If not he'd try him again, once his patient was stable. Assuming they were able to revive him.

* * *

House didn't even know how he made it to PPTH. But all of a sudden he was throwing the car in park and on his way inside via the ER, his heart racing so loudly he could hear the blood pumping through his veins. He paid no attention to anyone around him, seeking out Cuddy as if his life depended on it. He finally made it to the surgical wing and of every nurse he saw, demanded, _"Dr. Cuddy?! Where's Dr. Cuddy?! Where I can find her?!"_

People gave him strange looks but he didn't pay them any attention as he continued on in the direction someone had finally pointed him in. He couldn't lose her. He couldn't lose her now. The girls… They couldn't be motherless. And he… he couldn't live without Cuddy. It was all he could think of.

She was in surgery. But how bad was it? Wilson hadn't said and he hadn't thought to ask. And then he'd realized too late he couldn't remember where his phone was. If Wilson hadn't said…, then it was because it wasserious. He couldn't just _say it, _he had to try and work up to breaking the bad news _gently_. Why couldn't Wilson just spit it out from the get go? Then at least he'd know now what he was facing. But Wilson hadn't just told him. He hadn't… Bad. It was undoubtedly very bad news then.

The thoughts screamed at him and there was no way to stop his rising panic as he searched the gurneys passing him, terrified. And then one came around the corner and the sheet was covering the body completely, the individual obviously dead. It was most definitely a woman and a small amount of dark hair was exposed as the nurses moving the body headed to the elevator to take her down to the morgue. It… That was… No. _No! He couldn't be too late!_

House couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. He fell back against the nearby wall, devastated and her name tore from his lips like the sound you'd expect to hear from someone who was having a cat-o-nine tails yanked from their body after the latest lashing.

* * *

Cuddy was around the next corner, still in scrubs, observing from a distance as one of her surgeons went into the waiting room and broke the news to the man who had run into her car that his wife hadn't survived. She heard what sounded like her name and immediately recognized House's voice, though his tone and the volume at which he'd yelled her name both stunned and bewildered her. Turning, she didn't bother to watch any more of what was playing out before her, just heading in the direction his voice had come from. And then he came into view and she stopped breathing at the sight of him crumpled against the wall thirty feet ahead of her, his head in his hands before he beat the heel of one hand against the floor, the nurses with the body of the woman who'd died watching him warily from where they stood awaiting the elevator, probably debating on whether or not they needed to call security.

She didn't know what to think. She didn't understand what had happened. All she knew was that something was terribly wrong and so she ran in his direction.

"House!" she called out, her voice breaking as emotion clogged her throat, worried about him, worried about the girls...

House heard her voice and he somehow shoved himself to his feet, his vision foggy from the tears that were issuing forth. He didn't know if it was a cruel trick his mind had conjured, if he was hallucinating again due to the trauma her death resulted in or if… her ghost was now haunting him, leaving him as if mercifully, with at least a small part of her. All he knew was that within the span of a second he had taken the few steps to meet her and was dragging her into him, his mouth descending and finding hers as if kissing her passionately came as naturally as breathing to his lungs even after all this time.

Cuddy didn't know how it happened but suddenly House was back on his feet, he'd grabbed her and his mouth was meeting hers hungrily in a desperate kiss. She was so stunned she didn't even react, at least not initially but before she could blink his tongue was sweeping into her mouth for the first time in what seemed like forever, plundering her as if it was a matter of life or death. Of their own volition then, her hands wove into his hair as she got up on her tiptoes, returning his kiss with equal force and desperation in finally being kissed like this, meeting his tongue thirstily and funneling all the desire she'd had to contain all these months into him, her eyes having long since fluttered closed.

It didn't matter that they hadn't kissed like this… _ever_, there never before having been such a marked element of desperation to their kissing as this kiss was bolstered by. It didn't matter that they were standing in the middle of a hospital corridor with her employees present or that someone had just died minutes earlier and she'd been a witness to it, trying to keep the woman's death from happening despite it being out of her control probably even before the man had rammed her car, and then having only attended the surgery, not actually performing it. She wasn't even aware of where she was – nor anything else save House and the emotion he was channeling at her as his arms wrapped around her, bringing her closer than she'd ever thought physically possible, one hand burrowing in her hair as he fanned the flame within her and had her moaning desperately into his mouth, tasting him, memorizing him, forgetting her need for oxygen as she dependently survived off him.

House broke the kiss not because he became cognizant of the fact that she was alright but because his body forced him to. _"Are you… Are you real?"_ he gasped out as his lungs sucked in oxygen, his hands moving over her body as if to make sure she was all in one piece. _"Are you okay?"_

"I don't think I can stand upright," she managed to whisper, her breath coming in ragged gulps, her legs trembling from the earth-shattering kiss she'd just been blown away by as she leaned into him now, her forehead to his chin, allowing him to support her body and keep her somewhat on her feet.

The elevator arrived at that moment and the gurney and its crew of nurses stepped inside, the doors closing a moment later. But neither House nor Cuddy noticed, their eyes now returning to search each other's.

House held her tighter, frowning as he tried to mentally work through how she could feel so real when she was a figment of his imagination, a ghost haunting him now, just as Amber had once been. But then again, she'd felt this real to him before and had yet only been a hallucination.

He heard what she said and instantly clung to that, trying to process what was wrong with her, not that it really mattered as long as she stayed. Unlike Amber, he didn't want this figment of his imagination to leave him, no matter how certifiable he became. Not if it was all he could have of her now.

"Is it your spinal cord? Or just your legs? Were they… were they injured in the accident? Did… did you lose them? Are you… are you… dead? Or is there still a chance? I… I _can't_ lose you Cuddy. _I can't._ Please tell me that you're going to be okay. _Please_ tell me you won't leave me now. _Please _don't leave our girls."

Cuddy shook her head in confusion, still in a fog, trying to muddle through what he was talking about as she got her breath back while he clutched at her despondently and almost painfully. His questions didn't make any sense. Did she lose her legs? What? Was she dead? …Nooooo. Losing her? Leaving him? Leaving the girls?

And then, slowly, pieces fit together as if this was one of House's puzzles, needing to be solved but by her this time. _The accident._ House… House thought…

Cuddy stared at him and for the first time not only realized the devastation he'd felt and was clearly still experiencing but the tears now evident on his face that she hadn't registered before. She choked on her own emotion, understanding what he'd probably thought… what he'd concluded when the body was rolled past him on the gurney. And she struggled to get the words out to explain but she just couldn't get them past the lump in her throat at the heartbroken expression on his face.

Finally she succeeded at bringing her hands up to his face, cupping his cheeks, stroking them with her thumbs. "House…, I'm fine. I'm okay. This isn't… This isn't a hallucination. I'm not a manifestation of your mind. I was in an accident but I didn't get hurt. The other car hit my car and sent me spinning but… I'm fine. I am. The car… the car's not so great. But I'm okay other than my neck being a bit sore from the impact. I just came to the hospital in the ambulance to assist with the woman because she'd had a tonic-clonic seizure right before her husband hit my car. She had another one in the ambulance. I… Wilson was going to take me home once I was free to leave. But then he got a page and had to respond to it. He said he'd call you and let you know why I was late coming home and see if you could come pick me up in case he got stuck here all night. I… He didn't explain? He didn't tell you I was okay? House…," she squeaked out, pained on his behalf. "I'm sorry. _I'm sorry._ I didn't mean for you to worry. I should have called you myself," she managed to murmur, tears now streaking down her own face. "But my phone… It flew and hit the dash I think. The screen cracked. I couldn't get it to work so I just gave up… And then there was the woman… And her husband was falling apart… And I just…"

"Cuddy, I called but he…" Wilson's voice came at them, causing them both to look over at him as he approached, coming to a halt at the sight of House clinging to her as he was. Wilson shook his head in confusion. "Oh," he finally mumbled. "You're here. Okay. Good," he uncertainly finished, still looking between them.

House released Cuddy suddenly and she turned to look at him as his hands balled into fists at his side, his face contorting into one of rage. He took a step back and then turned in Wilson's direction, heading towards him. "You _IDIOT!_" he yelled. "You made me think she was _DYING! _A gurney just rolled past with an obviously dead patient and I… You had me thinking it was… _HER_."

Wilson started backing away, realizing that House was pissed with him for some reason. He scrambled to process while Cuddy stared wide-eyed from House to Wilson, uncertain about whether or not to intervene in this or how to do so if she did.

"I-I-I told you she'd had a car accident on the way home and needed you to come get her," Wilson stuttered, his eyes wide.

"_You told me she had a car accident and came to the hospital in an AMBULANCE! You said she'd be in surgery for another twenty minutes!"_ House furiously accused, continuing to stalk towards him despite his thigh killing him.

"I… I… I… I didn't mean she was in surgery _being operated on!_" Wilson exclaimed in protest. "I meant she was assisting with the surgery of another person in the accident! I was _distracted! _ I didn't think! I never thought you'd think she…"

"_Run. Run now. Because if I get my hands on you… I'm not sure you'll survive,"_ House muttered through clenched teeth, deadly serious as he continued stalking in Wilson's direction.

Wilson looked at him as if he was insane, searching his gaze to see if he was serious. And then he was gone. Cuddy watched him turn and scramble down the nearest stairway, disappearing from view. It might have been funny if it wasn't that House had looked so distraught by what he had been thinking and feeling minutes before.

House came to a stop and then sank down on a bench nearby, rubbing his bad thigh as if it was in excruciating pain. Cuddy went to him, waiting for him to look up and meet her eyes before crossing the final few feet separating them and sinking hesitantly down onto the bench beside him, not knowing how he'd react now that he knew it had been a misunderstanding. He said nothing though, just groaning as he dug into the tissue with his fingers, his eyes closing in pain.

She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to do. So she just sat there a moment, biting her lip, finally covering his hand on his thigh with a trembling one of her own, threading her fingers through his to help him work at it, even if it was awkward with both of them attempting to massage the tissue together.

She stopped when he stopped, though she kept her fingers laced with his. House took a deep breath and then released it before almost brokenly asking, his voice cracking in the middle, "Can we go home now?"

She nodded, releasing his hand to free him to get up, not caring if she was really supposed to wait for the police to show up and take her statement, the only reason she'd been allowed to leave the scene of the accident being that the woman had started seizing again while being loaded into the ambulance and she was a doctor, though she _was_ supposed to be looked over as well.

"Can you walk?" she inquired softly, not wanting to upset him.

"Yeah. It's just… _sore_ because I overexerted it," he minimalized things, his voice low.

Cuddy watched him test it out, his limp much more pronounced than she'd seen it in some time. House didn't look at her and she wondered if he blamed her for the panic he'd experienced. "I'm sorry," she murmured again. _"I'm so sorry, House."_

He sighed and rubbed his face in agitation but mumbled, "It wasn't your fault, Cuddy. I'm not upset with you. I'd still ring Wilson's neck though, if I had opportunity," he added grumpily, grunting out his consternation a second later.

Cuddy swallowed against the lump in her throat before reaching for his hand, threading her fingers back through his.

House made no objection to her action, instead squeezing her hand briefly before easing his hold on it to limp beside her in the direction of the main elevators, the two of them moving slowly. He hit the button with his free hand and waited alongside her, his eyes on the floor at his feet as he relived all the emotion that had stirred within him in thinking Cuddy was hurt and then… in thinking she was dead and lost to him forever. His hand reflexively tightened its hold on hers for a second but then relaxed once more.

Cuddy stared at him out of the corner of her eye, trying to determine if he was alright and what exactly he was feeling now or how she should interpret the strength of his reaction.

"Do you need to stop in your office?" House asked without emotion as the elevator doors opened for them.

She nodded. "One of the nurses took my purse and jacket when I entered the ER and I sent an intern to my office with my clothes after changing into scrubs for the surgery. If you don't mind stopping there we can just quickly grab my stuff and go."

"I don't mind," he rasped, releasing her hand as the elevator doors opened on the ground floor.

Cuddy understood why he'd set her free now that they were entering a more heavily trafficked area but she wished he _hadn't _and instead had kept holding her hand. She walked alongside him to her office and then smiled when he opened the door for her, somehow pulling himself together enough to roll his eyes at her reaction to his sudden chivalry. Cuddy bit her lip to try and keep from smiling wider, reaching for her jacket and her purse where it sat under her coat rack, then picking up the folded pile of clothes she'd come into PPTH this morning wearing.

Five minutes later they exited the hospital after Cuddy had informed the front desk how to get in contact with her now that her cellphone was out of commission and she was pleased when House immediately took her hand again, leading her to his car. Once they made it home she would make some calls to try and figure out where her car was now. Assuming the police didn't contact her first for the traffic accident report they still had to complete. She wondered momentarily how much trouble she'd be in for going home instead of awaiting their appearance at the hospital. Then she dismissed it entirely, knowing she was where she needed to be, regardless of what anyone else might say.

* * *

"Will you go get the girls from Erika's?" House asked quietly as the car came to a stop in their garage.

Cuddy was staring worriedly at the open door leading inside. "House…"

He saw what had caught her attention and mumbled dismissively, "No. It's nothing. Don't worry. I just… didn't take the time to close it on my way out."

She looked at him, her expression turning tender and unbuckled her seatbelt to turn towards him, pulling her knee up onto the seat to press a light kiss to his cheek, swallowing hard against the emotion she was still trying to work through in what had taken place. "I'll go get the girls," she agreed in a whisper.

House nodded, glancing at her, his face blank of expression as he opened his car door and slowly climbed out then. She turned back to her door and opened it, getting out of the car before heading in the opposite direction he went in, looking briefly over her shoulder at him as he limped inside knowing he needed to get the dog out.

Erika opened her door with Evie on her hip a minute later and looked Cuddy over in concern. "Are you alright?" she asked worriedly after sighing her initial relief at seeing her in one piece.

"Mama," Evie cried happily, leaning towards Cuddy, her hands outstretched, opening and closing eagerly to communicate she wanted her.

Cuddy reached for her daughter and pressed a kiss to her cheek before wryly murmuring, "I'm fine. Wilson… didn't clarify that I was okay. He told House that I'd been in a car accident and needed him but failed to mention that there was nothing wrong with me and the surgery I was in wasn't my own. He was supposed to let House know I only needed a ride home."

"House…" Erika began, her eyes wide, tilting her head to the side before moistening her lips. "House was pretty upset. He… He looked like he'd just received news that you'd died, Lisa. Is he okay? I… I have _never _seen him like that before."

Cuddy swallowed hard and nodded before she managed to draw up a tremulous smile. "He's okay. I think he's still a little shook up. And needless to say, Wilson will probably want to avoid him for a few days. House was… ready to deck him when he finally understood that I was alright."

Erika rolled her eyes at Wilson's oversight but nodded in understanding and sympathy for how House must have felt in hearing what he had without having the situation clarified better. Then she scrutinized Cuddy for a second, her eyebrows gathering as her focus shifted from feeling for House to contemplating the woman before her. "Did… ? Did House _kiss_ you? I mean, _really _kiss you?" she asked suspiciously, her lips quirking up into a hinting smile. "Or is that from the accident? The area around your mouth looks like it's taken a beating. If I'm not mistaken, then you might want to put some aloe vera gel or cortisone on that. Because you look like you're on your way to some serious stubble burn. Especially if you two were just getting started."

Cuddy blushed, tentatively probing the area around her mouth with one hand before she looked at the baby in her arms, biting her lip before meeting Erika's gaze once more. "Best kiss I've been on the receiving end of in all my life," she confided in a murmur, allowing a huge smile to blossom on her face.

Erika laughed, her eyes twinkling. "So House wants to kill Wilson and you want to send him flowers and a thank you card," she concluded teasingly.

"Something like that," Cuddy acknowledged, blushing slightly now. "But don't you dare tell anyone I said that."

"Your secret is safe with me," Erika assured before turning into the house, thankful that everything was alright as well as grateful now that the girls hadn't really understood what had been taking place when House dropped them off, Trevor also in the dark, making this situation easier as there were no tears to wipe nor reassurances required. "Rachel! Your mom is here!"

Cuddy heard the sound of Rachel's feet hitting the hardwood flooring before she caught sight of her when Erika opened the door all the way to allow her to run out.

"Hi mommy!" Rachel declared exuberantly, her hands wrapping around Cuddy's leg as she swung there a moment, almost succeeding in knocking Cuddy down if not for her free hand which stretched out immediately to grab the doorframe until Rachel finally returned her feet to the ground, her hand then seeking out her mother's.

"Hi honey," Cuddy replied, releasing the doorframe to smooth Rachel's hair, smiling at her before looking back at Erika.

"Thanks for watching them," she said then.

"No problem," Erika responded. "Always a pleasure but please, let's not repeat these circumstances if at all possible."

Cuddy gave her a soft chagrined smile and nodded her agreement before turning to head for home, ready to be home with her family, the workweek over.

* * *

Cuddy hung up after speaking with an officer at the police station, convincing them to send someone to the house rather than require her to go out again so that they could complete their paperwork in regards to the accident, being that they couldn't just do it over the phone. Her car had been towed and while she was sure the insurance company would want to write her a check rather than cover the costs of an attempt to repair it, she still had to wait for a call from the place where the towing service had taken it to find out a final assessment regarding the state it was in. She quickly called her insurance agent to give him a heads up and then the hospital to make sure they'd processed her request that they contact her at home, if necessary, until she could go out and replace her cellphone, which she intended to do tomorrow since she really had no other choice but to do so quickly, her cellphone quite literally qualifying as a lifeline. She also thought to call her mom and dad and let them know what had happened so they wouldn't hear about it some other way and be upset with her for it, and at the same time, would also be able to reach her, should they need to.

Only once she'd accomplished all she had to did she turn to drink the tea she'd prepared for herself during her phone calls, pausing when she almost stepped on House's cellphone where she found it on the floor. She frowned after picking it up to inspect it, quickly guessing that it had been dropped, but as it appeared to be fine she set it aside on the counter before sipping at her tea.

She'd made the girls macaroni and cheese after coming in the door, because it was so simple and Rachel was clearly hungry. While Rachel had already run off to play with toys now, Evie was just finishing and needed to be cleaned up before she and Cuddy could join her big sister in the living room.

Once she'd done that Cuddy carried Evie into the living room, taking the phone with her so that she could call for takeout, hoping House would be out by the time it arrived. She quickly explained to Rachel that something had happened to mommy's car so a police officer would be swinging by to ask mommy some questions, just in case the police showed up before Rachel was in bed, which considering it was a Friday night, she was not confident enough to expect but still prepared for. Then she made her call, ordering Chinese because it sounded good and House was not yet out to consult.

With Rachel and Evie both playing on the floor with toys Cuddy found herself finally allowing her thoughts to turn to the way House had kissed her in the hospital and the desperation and need he'd conveyed. As she nursed her tea she couldn't help wondering if, the way House had taken possession of her mouth claiming every nook and cranny as his own, would be repeated anytime soon, _without _the extenuating circumstances.

The redness around her mouth had for the most part, faded, leaving her with little physical evidence of the earlier assault upon her mouth. She supposed she was a little disappointed by that. But, the power of her recall made its memory remain vivid and she sighed slightly as she ran a finger over her mouth in remembrance.

There had been a lot of little pecks and a number of lingering kisses but… this had been the first time he'd stepped off that ledge and… made allowance for _tongues_ to be involved. It was ridiculous just how much she _felt_ like a teenager who had been French kissed for the first time and by someone who actually knew what they were doing. She wondered how long it would be before he allowed himself to kiss her like that again.

* * *

House sat in the tub, already having drained it once to refill it with hot water, still massaging his thigh though he was doing so absently now, more out of habit than out of need. He'd taken some pain reliever but the hot water had been the real alleviant, at least of his physical pain. In some obscure corner of his prefrontal cortex he registered that he should climb out of the tub before the water got any colder but he couldn't work up the energy to do so just yet, drained from being thrown in the ringer emotionally and still grappling with the aftereffects of the adrenaline he'd experienced.

He kept going over what had happened: how he'd misunderstood what Wilson had been trying to tell him, the panic he had felt, the desperation with which he'd been driven to get to Cuddy as soon as possible… He relived his race through the hospital, his despondency at seeing what he initially believed to be Cuddy's corpse on the gurney approaching him, and perhaps especially, the way he'd made love to her mouth, driven by his despair and loss, but accompanied also by a need that compelled him to express the depths of his feelings for her in case this was the last chance he'd ever have to do so while also indulging in something he hadn't yet dared to try. There wasn't a moment he didn't carefully ruminate over. And the stark reality of just how desperately he'd found himself to need her, alive and in his life, tore at all the defenses he'd put up over time to keep himself from ever finding her to be this vital to his happiness… no, this _key _to his very existence.

While he'd been trying the last few months to little by little, knock down walls and build bridges of trust in their place so that he could prove receptive to a future relationship with Cuddy and prepare accordingly for it, rather satisfied with what progress he _had _made, now what he most felt was vulnerability. And it wasn't just due to the absence of defenses he'd established, now torn down, crumbling, nor even how very little seemed to stand in the way of actually being with her now, but what he unexpectedly found scaring him was his sudden awareness that he might be wasting what time he _could _have with her, because despite what he could control, there was so much that he _couldn't_. And it terrified him. And then at the same time, it felt almost… exhilarating, to realize just how close he might be to _claiming her_. Or it would if he could… allow it to, even… embrace such a feeling.

Really, none of it made much sense to him. He'd known he loved her still. He'd recognized and acknowledged that he didn't want her to ever leave. He'd even come to believe she loved him back and wanted _him_ and no other. Hell, this past week he'd entertained the very real possibility that he might soon experience a major breakthrough of a sexual nature, putting him in a position where he could not just love her but prove capable of _making love_ to her. So why did thinking he had almost lost her when he really hadn't…, make everything suddenly feel… different? Horrifyingly intimidating yet… thrilling with its possibilities?

Expelling a breath, he finally forced himself to drain the tub and get to his feet, drying off with a towel before wrapping it around his waist. If he felt like this now, he frowned at how he'd feel in that moment when his body reacted to her again for the first time. He suddenly felt very ill-prepared. And yet…

* * *

"_**Just one more moment, that's all that's needed  
Like wounded soldiers in need of healing  
Time to be honest, this time I'm bleeding  
Please don't dwell on it, cause I didn't mean it**_

**_I can't believe I said I'd lay our love on the ground_**  
**_But it doesn't matter 'cause I've made it up forgive me now_**  
**_Every day I spend away my souls inside out_**  
**_Gotta be some way that I can make it up to you now, somehow_**

**_By now you'd know that I'd come for you_**  
**_No one but you, yes I'd come for you_**  
**_But only if you told me to_**  
**_And I'd fight for you_**  
**_I'd lie, it's true_**  
**_Give my life for you_**  
**_You know I'd always come for you_**

**_I was blindfolded, but now I'm seeing_**  
**_My mind was closing, now I'm believing_**  
**_I finally know just what it means to let someone in_**  
**_To see the side of me that no one does or ever will_**  
**_So if you're ever lost and find yourself all alone_**  
**_I'd search forever just to bring you home_**  
**_Here and now this I vow_**

**_By now you'd know that I'd come for you_**  
**_No one but you, yes I'd come for you_**  
**_But only if you told me to_**  
**_And I'd fight for you_**  
**_I'd lie, it's true_**  
**_Give my life for you_**  
**_You know I'd always come for you_**  
**_You know I'd always come for you_**

**_No matter what gets in my way_**  
**_As long as there's still life in me_**  
**_No matter what, remember_**

**_You know I'll always come for you  
_**

**_Yes I'd come for you, no one but you  
Yes I'd come for you  
But only if you told me to_**

**_And I'd fight for you_**  
**_I'd lie, it's true_**  
**_Give my life for you_**  
**_You know I'd always come for you_**

**_No matter what gets in my way_**  
**_As long as there's still life in me_**  
**_No matter what, remember_**

**_You know I'll always come for you  
I'd crawl across this world for you  
Do anything you want me to  
No matter what, remember_**

**_You know I'll always come for you  
You know I'll always come for you"_**

* * *

Song: "I'd Come For You" (Nickelback)


	115. It Is You (I Have Loved)

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(You guys are so great! Thanks for enjoying this story as much as you do and for all your reviews to let me know what you are thinking and feeling! I really appreciate it!_

_So... Are you ready? Hang on to your seats!)_

* * *

October 3rd, 2011

"What's this I hear about Cuddy being in a car accident last Friday?" Cameron asked House in concern upon coming into the office Monday. "Chase was off for a couple days but he mentioned it late last night when he came home from his shift."

"She's fine," he said dismissively, knowing Cameron must already assume as much or she'd have called him. "The car's probably totaled but she's still waiting to hear from her insurance company. In the meantime she has a rental."

"And the other vehicle involved?" she inquired with a frown.

"Driver's wife had a grand mal. That's what caused the crash," he explained with a shrug while flipping through a file his boss had dropped off regarding a patient he wanted him to see. "He freaked out since his wife had no history of seizures and lost control of the car. He got lucky, like Cuddy. But his wife didn't have her seatbelt on and hit the windshield when he hit Cuddy's car. She had another seizure in the ambulance. Since she was injured in the crash they almost immediately took her in to do surgery and reduce the swelling in her brain. She didn't survive. The pathologist said the seizures were caused from a brain tumor she didn't know she had and which the doctor had missed due to its small size while doing the initial head CT. Even if she'd survived though, no doctor would have wanted to try and remove it because of where it was located."

"Wow. But Cuddy's alright?" she verified.

"Yeah. I told you, she's fine," he replied, glancing up at her briefly.

Cameron couldn't resist smiling slightly then, thinking about the rumors Chase had overheard but had remained skeptical regarding. "Is it also true, what I heard about you being seen making out with her in the surgical wing?" Cameron dared to ask, eyeing him for his response.

His mouth firmed but he did not look up at her. "Don't believe everything you hear," he mumbled after a second.

"Chase heard you were seen holding her hand," she continued, smiling outright now. "He said there's been a resurgence of bets being placed regarding Cuddy's private life."

House huffed out a breath of annoyance but then realized Cameron didn't sound upset or at all anxious and he looked up to stare at her, frowning dubiously. "And none of these… rumors, bother you?" he suspiciously queried, an eyebrow raised.

Cameron shook her head before lifting one shoulder. "I knew it was coming so…" she casually admitted before trialing off.

House's forehead knitted further as he frowned all the more. "Wait. So… you're not going to get after me?"

"What for?" Cameron asked dubiously. "Because you're in love with Cuddy? I already knew that. I knew that after you interrupted that board meeting at PPTH. Because you might want to be with her? Knew that too. I've seen you with her these last months, House. And I kind of figured you made that statement yourself when you put up that family picture of the four of you," she pointed out, gesturing to the picture frame in emphasis.

House floundered as she spoke, initially thrown, but then finally he sputtered, "Hey! That was a gift from Rachel."

Cameron rolled her eyes, shaking her head drolly. "It doesn't matter. You put it up in your office."

"She _asked _me to!" he defended, setting aside the file he'd been looking at as he straightened in his chair.

"House," she pronounced before rolling her eyes again. "I don't care. Point is, if you want to be with Cuddy; if you want to be _seen _making out with her, I could care less. I… just want you to be happy," Cameron admitted honestly. "And I've already got Cuddy's word that she intends to do everything in her power to make you happy, so…"

"What?" he interrupted, thinking he must have heard her wrong.

Cameron drew back, realizing what she'd said, but then relaxed, sighing before she just came out and said, "When you had that conference to attend back in July and asked me to drop Rachel off with Cuddy. She had a family picture of the four of you on her desk too. And… I had some questions I needed to ask her. To… know that I could trust her this time." She shrugged. "She promised that this time would be different. She said she's better now. And… I don't know. I believe her. I mean…, I can see that."

House groaned, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Well, I care about you," Cameron excused. "And besides, I'm Evie's godmother so, you know, it's my _job _to look out for her best interests. And… if her parents are going to be together someday, then I want to make sure it's for the best of everyone involved."

"Cameron, just shut up," he mumbled resignedly from behind his hand, staring at her from between two fingers. "And read this case file. Tell me what you think about _this _since you apparently feel the need to share your opinion right now."

Cameron laughed but reached for the file, taking her seat before opening it.

* * *

"How's House?" Wilson asked without preamble, having entered Cuddy's office, his hands finding their way into his pockets the minute the door closed behind him.

She looked up from the paperwork she'd been doing, an eyebrow raising, but then set her pen down to answer. "He's fine, Wilson," she reassured, nodding. "I'm sure it's safe for you to make an appearance," she dryly added, referring to their standing dinner plans for Monday nights, this week being at their place.

He removed a hand from his pocket to wryly rub it over his face before he continued forward, sinking in one of the seats in front of her desk. "I never intended for him to…"

"I know," she interrupted, waving it off. "And he knows that too."

"But I obviously… The way he reacted…" Wilson attempted to express.

"Well…" Cuddy murmured, moistening her lips before looking away uncertainly, not knowing what to say.

He moved about in the chair so that he could lean forward, his hands folded before him, his eyes looking down at the carpet before he looked back up at her, his expression serious. "I've been doing some thinking," he began hesitantly after a moment. "Since… the party… And after last Friday especially…"

She straightened in her chair, uncertain as to where he was going with this. But she maintained eye contact and gave him an encouraging nod to continue despite swallowing hard.

He huffed out a breath but then nodded, looking away again before back to her. "He loves you," he acknowledged quietly. "And… given his reaction last Friday… well, it's clear his feelings for you still run deep. Perhaps… have even _grown_."

Cuddy bit her lip when once more his eyes darted away.

Straightening in his seat Wilson forced himself to continue with another nod, "I get it. And you are right, I guess. Even if I want to make it my business, it's… not. Not… completely anyway. And if he wants…" Huffing again, he shook his head before managing to just get out, "What I'm trying to say is that, before, when House was in a… bad place, I swore I'd keep him from ever making the mistake of getting involved with you again. But… maybe it's not a mistake anymore. You've obviously made progress, Cuddy. And… you're not that person who… who hurt him before… Not really anyway and… Maybe… If you guys were to decide to… be together… Well, I guess I'm saying that I could… support that. I could do that now. Not that you need me to but… I could. Because… you guys have been through a lot together and… if you make each other happy then… you both deserve that happiness."

Cuddy's eyes widened and she leaned back in surprise, moistening her lips again, despite not knowing what to say.

"Okay," she finally managed to mumble, the two syllable word sounding tentative at best.

He nodded and expelled another breath, probably just grateful to have said what he'd apparently come here to say, but then frowned before hesitantly stating, "I'm… not sure why you guys… aren't sleeping together, assuming that nothing's changed since the party but… I think it's best if I don't know, even if I have my… suspicions regarding what the holdup is," he acknowledged with a brief glance, his mouth firming.

Cuddy had tensed at his mention of them sleeping together but then relaxed to pointedly state, "I wouldn't talk to you about that anyway, Wilson. It really isn't any of your business and… it's also not my place."

He nodded before looking away again, appearing quite relieved, which made Cuddy's brow gather at having him even think she might now think he was a person to talk to about the absence of _sex_ in her growing relationship with House_. _But then her face cleared and when he finally did reestablish eye contact, she smiled softly.

"Well, I should go…" he said then, pushing himself to his feet immediately after. "But maybe I'll see you tonight."

She nodded, getting to her feet to walk him to the door. "I'll see you at the house," she confirmed.

He turned back to nod once more, one corner of his mouth curling up slightly, and she nodded as well before holding the door after he'd opened it. Then she watched him walk away and out of sight before she closed the door, leaning back against it and sinking a little down it, sighing in relief.

That had been… interesting.

Friday night House had come out of his room right as their Chinese was delivered and before two police officers came to speak with her about the accident and the other car accident victim's death that followed. But nothing had been said between them regarding what had taken place. She'd left it up to him to bring it up if he chose to. And he hadn't. They'd gone on to spend a quiet weekend at home, the events of Friday being left untouched except in regards to further information regarding the woman who died being shared, the state Cuddy's car was in coming up and what needed to be resolved now because of the accident, House driving Cuddy to pick up a rental car the following day and then taking the girls back home while she went to purchase a cellphone to replace the one that had been destroyed in the accident.

Really, outside of _that_, it was as if Friday afternoon and evening hadn't happened. Everything was as it had been before. With the exception perhaps of House seeming to be more meditative in nature and… more prone to stealing glances at her which she'd pretended to be oblivious to. She also thought he'd stayed closer to her than ever before but… she wasn't sure as it was almost as if he did so under the guise of a task that needed to be done in her vicinity or… it being the girls who wanted to be near her and not necessarily… _him_. As if his proximity was coincidental.

Biting her lip as if doing so would diminish the smile claiming her lips at the thought, she reluctantly pushed herself off of the closed door, returning to her desk and the paperwork she still needed to get done before heading home.

First Cameron had come around back in July and now Wilson, apparently. What next?

* * *

"Hey," House mumbled wryly as he let Wilson in the door that night, whose hands were in his pockets, his expression chagrined.

"Hey," he returned quietly, glancing around as he crossed into the entryway before returning his eyes to House.

"Where's Erika?" House asked as he shut the front door behind his best friend.

"She and Trevor will be over in a minute," Wilson replied. "She… thought it might be best to send me over first so that I could… I don't know…"

House raised an eyebrow and Wilson pursed his mouth before breathing out a puff of air. "I'm sorry. About Friday I mean. I didn't mean to make you think…"

House shook his head dismissively. "I didn't give you a whole lot of time to explain. Forget it. You can call Erika and let her know it's safe to come over now," he added, one corner of his mouth quirking in semi-amusement.

"She'll be over in a couple minutes. She gave me a white handkerchief as I was going out the door," Wilson said then, a smile tugging up his own mouth as he pulled it out of his pocket to wave back and forth before him. "I'm not sure if it's supposed to mean I come in peace or I surrender but…" Sobering, he looked down at the floor between returning his eyes to House and mumbled, "I'm sorry about how I acted at the party too. I… I've been trying to work through my own issues regarding… things these last few days and, you're right, you don't need me to protect you anymore so… I'll try to stop smothering you."

House grunted out something resembling a wry chuckle, rolling his eyes, but didn't directly reply.

Rachel came running from the direction of the kitchen just then. "Where's Trevor?" she asked hopefully, looking up at her Uncle Wilson for an answer, failing to greet him properly in her eagerness for a playmate.

"He'll be here in…" Wilson began, only to have the doorbell ring.

Rachel jumped up and down, clapping her hands, as House wryly shook his head before opening the door.

"Trevor!" Rachel shouted upon seeing him.

He smiled, almost embarrassed by her enthusiastic greeting, but raised a hand to wave at her, which she promptly skipped to take in her own.

"Come on! We go play outside!" she informed him happily, guiding him forward and into the house.

Erika laughed, shaking her head, but turned to look at House as her kid was led away. "How are you?" she asked then.

He rolled his eyes, rather than reply, and she rolled her eyes in response but laughed again before asking, "Lisa?"

"In the kitchen," House responded as he closed the door once more.

The three of them walked in that direction then, Wilson and Erika greeting Cuddy a moment later before Wilson offered to take Evie from her to free her hands. She gratefully accepted, passing the baby to him before accepting Erika's offer to help with what still needed to be done so that they could eat.

* * *

October 5th, 2011

"I don't really think you need me anymore, Lisa," Kate said, smiling brightly at Cuddy from her seat behind the desk.

Instead of taking that in a positive way, she looked like she'd been slapped. Kate laughed at her reaction.

"Look how far you've come!" she explained. "I'm not trying to get rid of you. If you still feel like you need me, then I'm here. But really Lisa, you're doing great."

"But in fifteen days I have to go before the judge in regards to my parental rights," Cuddy rushed to say before licking her lips anxiously.

"You really doubt that the judge won't dismiss your earlier request?" Kate inquired, her forehead wrinkling. "You've seemed to be gaining confidence that House is right in thinking she will in fact just throw it out."

Cuddy sucked in a breath but then released it, the tension in her shoulders easing. "But we could be wrong," she pointed out.

Kate tilted her head, pursing her mouth as she studied Cuddy.

"Even if she does just dismiss it, what about the fact that House and I haven't had sex yet? What if someday we do, or _try _to, and it all goes wrong? What then?" Cuddy pressed.

"Then if you feel like you need me, you call and schedule an appointment. Lisa, we've already weaned you off of your antidepressants. You were reluctant to do that. But once we had, what did you discover? You no longer needed them. You've been doing great. Things are going well at work. Things are going well at home. I think you're afraid that without me, everything will fall apart. But Lisa, I haven't done any of the work. _You have. _I've just walked alongside you. And if something should happen and you need me, then I'm only a phone call away," she concluded reassuringly.

Cuddy bit her lip but nodded reluctantly.

"How's this?" Kate suggested. "I'll leave my schedule open for our next appointment in two weeks. If you feel you need it, the time will be available to you and you can call and let me know that day. Otherwise, I'll see you when I see you. Perhaps when you swing by to let me know you and House have taken another step forward in your relationship. But don't feel like you have to make an appointment to stop in, Lisa. I can assure you that I'll enjoy seeing you and hearing how you are, even if I'm not getting paid for it."

Cuddy drew in another deep breath, slowly releasing it. "Alright," she agreed before managing to return Kate's smile, certain she looked more confident than she felt at the moment.

* * *

"Are you saying you're ready to test the waters?" Nolan asked, his fingers templed before him as he watched House with interest.

House huffed out a breath, looking away. "I don't know," he moodily pronounced. "I'm saying… it got me thinking and… I don't want to waste any more time."

"You haven't been wasting time," Nolan replied with a shake of his head, sitting more upright now. "Nothing you've done has been a waste. You've been dealing with the aftermath of certain events which affected you in a profound way. That isn't wasting time, House. It's not opportunity squandered. It's healthy. You've been processing and working through things that you've _needed_ to take the time to sort through. The likelihood then of you being able to maintain a physical reaction, even to reproduce it, once your mind and body come together to show that they are ready for that, increases. House, life is swarming with risk. You've made _great _progress. I don't want you to doubt yourself now, nor even to rush ahead. It will happen when the moment's right."

House snorted but Nolan just smiled. "_Now_," he stressed. "If you should want to… _think _about certain things and test your body's ability to react to those thoughts, I'm certainly not against it. It's a controlled environment. No one is present. No one has to know. Perhaps most importantly, if you find you just aren't ready or you don't get the response you had hoped for, there's no reason to feel awkward. _And _if it doesn't work and you feel like you failed, well, then it'll be all your own fault for having unrealistic expectations I guess. Listen, I'm just trying to encourage you to not rush into a situation blindly. You'll know when the moment is right. You'll _know _when you're ready. And until then, well, enjoy how far you _have _come."

"So in your wise opinion the next step is _fantasizing_," House dryly mumbled, giving Nolan a skeptical look. "You're suggesting I give _jerking off_ a chance?"

Nolan rolled his eyes at House's crassness. "What I'm saying," he corrected wryly, "is that last week you came in here one smug S.O.B. because you yourself recognized you'd taken a huge leap forward. Now this week you're not sure you've made _enough _progress. You want to be there already when… you'll be there when you're _there._ I guarantee you this is psychological. You've been gouging out that wall. You've begun to remember things in a positive light. You've been making progress in tearing through your mental block. So what I'm saying is, next week when you come in, if you've taken a step forward, even if you've actually had the physical reaction you're waiting for, then I'd rather you come in here a cocky bastard because you have made progress, than come in here resenting yourself for having tried and failed. Think of it this way: a couple months ago you weren't sure you'd ever have sex again. Now you know the day is coming. You just don't know when."

House stared at Nolan as he considered his words and then nodded before looking away thoughtfully.

* * *

House came in the door following his session with Nolan and smiled when Cuddy immediately came his way, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest.

"The girls are asleep but House, the way Evie is pushing herself to a stand now… She's going to be walking in no time. It makes me feel like we need to take the next week off so we don't miss it," she murmured into him.

He rolled his eyes in amusement before he drolly mumbled, "I'm pretty sure there will be repeat performances."

"You say that," she replied knowingly, leaning her head away from him so that she could see his face. "But you don't really feel that way. You'll be just as upset if you miss it as I will."

House's mouth twitched but he remained silent, looking down at her.

She released her hold on him, slipping her hands from his back to grip the front of his t-shirt before rocking herself up to press a chaste kiss to his mouth, smiling wryly before shaking her head at his lack of a response to what she'd just said.

Letting go then she moved away to let him actually enter the kitchen, pursing her mouth before she murmured casually, "Kate thinks I no longer need to come in and see her."

House raised an eyebrow when she glanced back at him, uncertainty making an appearance in her expression. "And you don't think she's right?" he asked, guessing that was what he was supposed to respond by saying.

Cuddy shrugged. "I don't know," she replied honestly.

He pursed his mouth but then said, "Well, she ought to know, right? You've been meeting with her a long time. If she thinks you're ready, then you probably are."

Cuddy stole another glance at him before looking down. "Do you think I'm ready, House?" she mumbled then.

He straightened in surprise at the question, wrinkling his brow in momentary perplexity. Then it smoothed again before he acknowledged, "I think you're doing great, Cuddy. And I think if she says you're ready then you probably are. Don't doubt yourself. It's not like she'll turn you away if you decide you want to see her again."

Cuddy turned around so that she could look at him but House had already dismissed the subject, reaching into the fridge to pull out a Coke.

"So you really think Evie is that close to walking?" he asked when he turned back to face her, the corner of his mouth rising in a half-smirk.

She bit her lip but nodded, smiling in return. "And we think we have our hands full with her now. Just imagine what it will be like when she's no longer crawling but running everywhere."

"Maybe we'll have to get her one of those toddler harnesses; keep her on a leash," he joked.

"Maybe we should buy stock in the company while we're at it," she quipped back.

House rolled his eyes and she smiled widely before they both simultaneously rubbed a hand over their face in considering what was to come, laughing when they caught each other doing the same thing.

"Can I kiss you again?" he surprised her by asking then.

She swallowed hard but murmured back while staring at his mouth eagerly, "You don't ever have to ask."

He set his Coke aside and then slowly made his way to her before placing his hands on her waist, Cuddy moistening her lips with her tongue as she followed suit, placing her hands upon his upper arms though, before lifting her face up to meet his gaze. She smiled and he returned it before lowering his head, Cuddy's eyes closing and smile relaxing as she waited expectantly for his lips to meet hers, sighing into it before kissing him again.

* * *

October 8th, 2011

House had intended to hire a neighbor kid to rake the leaves but then changed his mind, deciding to do it himself. He raked the front yard up alone while Cuddy stayed in with the girls who were napping following a late lunch. But by the time he got to the backyard the girls were awake and Cuddy had bundled them up in warm clothes, bringing them outside with her before settling them on a blanket nearby with a pile of toys for Evie and a stack of picture books for Rachel. Then she headed into the garage to grab another rake so as to help him out.

House looked at her, surprised that she would be interested in helping with yard work. But he didn't say anything as they got right to work, raking the leaves around the girls first and then towards the center of the backyard, coming to an unspoken agreement that they'd just form one big pile.

House cast a glance over at the girls, his mouth quirking in something akin to fondness as Rachel brought a book over to Evie before plunking down beside her to begin randomly turning pages, making up her own story as she went. Evie did not appear all that interested. She was busy trying to tug the winter hat Cuddy had put on her off her head, clearly frustrated as her attempts proved unsuccessful, the Velcro under her chin holding. Rachel noticed her sister's struggle and frowned, looking over at House as if to seek permission to help her out.

"Hats stay on Rach," House told her then. "Evie will just have to live with it."

Rachel nodded solemnly, patting her sister's arm reassuringly before flipping another page in her book. House watched Evie look up, trying to see her hat and figure out why it wouldn't come off. He chuckled when her eyes crossed in the attempt.

Cuddy looked from House to Evie and then laughed. "She's stubborn, isn't she? She's not about to give up without a fight."

House nodded, glancing Cuddy's way. "She's like her mother," he quipped.

"And just what is that supposed to mean?" Cuddy asked then, resting her rake against her before putting her hands on her hips. She was smiling at him though, an eyebrow quirked.

He smirked. "It means you're stubborn Cuddy. Tenacious. Hate to be the one to tell you, but you are," he sarcastically informed her. "When you want something, you don't let anyone get in your way."

"You say it like that's a bad thing," she replied, her lips forming a slight pout as she studied him doubtfully.

He shook his head, going back to his raking. "I don't mean it in a negative way. I meant it as a compliment. Evie's got your determination. Just like you, when she wants to succeed, even if it takes a while, eventually she will."

Cuddy turned back to look at their daughter. "House," she called softly.

He paused, turning to look at her before his eyes followed hers to the girls. Evie's hat was off her head and in her hands. She was smiling broadly and though Rachel watched her with an almost disapproving look before turning to see what her mommy and daddy were going to do about it, Evie's eyes had lit up, pride evident in her expression.

"She gets that from her mommy too," House mumbled then, shaking his head wryly.

Cuddy laughed, rolling her eyes as she shook her head. "I think that's _your_ smugness coming out, rather than mine. If she's anything like her father I'm going to have to figure out a way to keep her humble."

"It's not smugness," House corrected, giving her a baleful look. "Kid's just proud that she succeeded."

It wasn't really that cold out but he deliberated a moment before deciding better safe than sorry.

Cuddy watched him go put Evie's hat back on, her heart swelling for what felt like the millionth time at how he'd taken so seemingly effortlessly to fatherhood, and then smiled at the cute little pout their daughter gave him.

"So now you're calling me proud?" she bantered after a moment.

"Calling it like I see it," House shot back in retort, but he shrugged nonchalantly before surprising her by being genuine when he added seriously, "You've accomplished a lot. Career-wise. And in life. You _should_ be proud."

Cuddy stared at him then, caught off-guard by what she was almost certain qualified as a first-rate compliment from House. But he had picked his rake up and gone back to work. After a moment she started raking again as well. But she kept shooting glances his way, worrying her lip, wondering what House thought of her after all this time and all they'd been through. She didn't ask. But… she wanted to.

Ten minutes later Wilson turned up.

"Hey guys," he called out as he entered the backyard, having come around the house after figuring they were outside in seeing the bags of leaves out front, and not having gotten a reply when he'd rang the doorbell.

"Hey Wilson," Cuddy greeted, sending a welcoming smile his way.

"Grab a rake," House hollered. "You're late. Where were you a couple of hours ago?"

Wilson shook his head. "No way. You're almost done. You don't need me. But where's the camera? The girls look so cute. Let me grab some pictures for you."

"Oh, thanks Wilson!" Cuddy said, not having thought of it herself. "The camera is in the laundry room, up on the shelf in the camera bag. I think the camcorder is there too, if you want to film them."

"Sure, no problem," he replied, heading in the house through the back door.

House shook his head when Wilson went in the house. "Cute?" he scoffed under his breath, before muttering, "He's such a girl," shaking his head then in dry amusement.

"Hey! I'm a girl!" Cuddy complained, pretending to take his comment personal. "And leave Wilson alone. You should have thought to get some pictures of the girls yourself."

"Hey, I had every intention of getting some pictures," House defended, pausing to stick his tongue out at her.

"Sure you did," she replied skeptically, rolling her eyes at his childish behavior.

"You better watch yourself Cuddy," he warned her, giving her a stern look.

She laughed, smiling playfully at him before dropping her rake to cross her arms over her chest. "Oh yeah? And what are you going to do if I don't?"

House refrained from breaking out into a returning grin but the gears were turning in his head now. "Don't say I didn't warn you," he told her, shrugging his shoulder before turning back to continue raking.

Cuddy eyed him warily for a moment but then was distracted as Wilson returned with both the camera and camcorder, snapping pictures of the girls first. They did look incredibly adorable in their fall coats and hats with their slightly rosy cheeks. She sighed, watching the girls as they turned on the charm for Uncle Wilson, Evie shrieking happily when he tickled her chin and Rachel giggling along.

House, meanwhile, had set down his rake quietly and was even now stalking soundlessly towards Cuddy from behind, a small pile of leaves held tightly in his fist. Wilson had switched to the camcorder and having read House's face, nodded ever so slightly to let him know he was ready to film it, being careful not to let Cuddy catch on to what was about to take place.

Before she had any warning House had wrapped an arm around her and was shoving the fistful of leaves down the back of her shirt. She shrieked at the unexpected sneak attack and fought to get away but he didn't release her until every last leaf was down her shirt. Then he let go and hurriedly limped away, turning around once he was at a safe distance, laughing at Cuddy, the faces she was making and how she jumped about, going round in circles as she tried to get the leaves to fall free of her shirt, some of them damp and clinging to her skin disgustingly.

Rachel was giggling and clapping when Cuddy finally came to a standstill, turning to glare at House.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," he teasingly called to her, a big grin stretched across his face.

"You are going to pay for that, House!" she fumed, though inwardly she was thrilled to have him turn playful on her, and with Wilson present at that.

"Yeah? You think I can't take you?" he taunted, jutting his chin out at her as if in a dare.

Her eyebrows rose in amusement, accepting his challenge. "You forget I can run faster," she taunted.

"Now that's just heartless, Cuddy," he stated, clutching his chest as if he was wounded. "Who says that to a cripple?"

She didn't buy it for a second. "I call it like I see it," she replied, echoing his words from earlier as she shrugged. And then she saw her opportunity as House was standing directly in front of their big leaf pile now. Before he could decipher the look in her eye Cuddy ran at him, causing House to stumble backwards and into the leaf pile. He caught his balance only to have her tackle him with one arm, pushing him back and down into it. House, thinking on his feet, sort of, managed to grab onto her as he fell, bringing her down with him. A second later he found himself on his back in the leaf pile with Cuddy straddling him, the memory of their first kiss resurfacing from all those years ago and centermost in his mind as he looked up at her.

She was grinning like a Cheshire cat, clearly feeling victorious as she'd accomplished what she'd intended to without hurting him in the process, and he pursed his lips before tensing his body, rolling in the leaves with her, distinguishing her smugness as she found herself lying in the leaves under him even further down in the pile than he'd been when he'd successfully flipped them so that he was on top. Before she could do much more than pout, House pressed his weight more into her to hold her down in the leaf pile before he began to tickle her mercilessly.

"You can't win, Cuddy," he told her as she squirmed, laughing throatily while begging him to stop.

It wasn't her pleas but the sound of her laughter and the position they were in, with House laying between her legs as she thrashed about, that quickly brought his hands to a standstill.

Cuddy laughed a moment longer while trying to get her breath back until she saw the expression on his face. She quickly fell silent, staring right back at him, her chest heaving.

Then House's hands fell to either side of her head, his face coming closer and closer to her own. She waited, unable to breathe, her eyes fluttering closed just a moment before his lips found hers.

House kissed her softly at first but when Cuddy moaned and responded with the slightest increase of pressure he surrendered to the moment, kissing her passionately, his body having reawakened as if from a deep sleep in things feeling much as they had back when they'd been in college and he'd fallen in love with her for the first time.

Cuddy's arms came up under his, gripping onto his upper back while her legs slowly swung round, locking about him and incidentally bringing her pelvis up into greater contact with his own. And then she gasped breathlessly when _he _rocked into _her_, all too aware of his body's growing response to her as she stared wide-eyed up at him when he pulled back an inch from her face in response to his own startling discovery. When one of her heeled boots came into contact with his butt a moment later pressing him closer still, testing him without Cuddy consciously doing so, House was helpless in her embrace, groaning as his body bucked against hers uncontrollably again, the feeling so foreign after all this time and yet so undeniably welcome.

Cuddy moaned again, a needy whine to her tone, and immediately lifted her head to recapture his mouth with her own, welcoming his tongue into her mouth a second later when he dared to ask for entrance, savoring the taste of him as he plummeted and explored every nook and cranny within her mouth before she returned the favor, desperately.

The sound of clapping came out of nowhere and House instantly jerked upwards, ending their kiss abruptly though he stared at her as he tried to get control of his breathing. Cuddy released him reluctantly, unsure in her confusion as to what exactly was going on. She waited, holding House's gaze as she tried to judge what he was feeling right now and whether he regretted the moment they'd just shared, let alone how he was coping with having physically responded to her.

Wilson, who had been standing not too far away unknowingly filming them the whole time, as he'd intended to catch Cuddy's attack but then been so shocked by what had happened after that he failed to take the camcorder off the two of them, swung around immediately when the clapping began.

"Guys!" Wilson urged quietly in an effort to draw House and Cuddy's attention.

Their eye contact held a moment longer while Cuddy's legs fell from around House and he managed to sit back, Cuddy lifting herself up and into a sitting position as well. Then they both looked past Wilson to see Rachel still clapping merrily, cheering on her sister as Evie teetered across the lawn in their direction, her little tongue peeking out in concentration.

"Yea!" Rachel shouted. "Yea for Ebie! Ebie walkin'! Ebie walkin'!"

Cuddy gasped, a hand flying to her mouth as she watched Evie in the process of taking her first steps.

"Are you filming this?" House asked Wilson under his breath.

He just nodded, taking a step to the side so that House and Cuddy could see better.

Evie looked up and saw them all watching her, Rachel still clapping immediately to her right, and her face broke into a toothy smile. She brought her hands up to clap too, losing her balance and plunking down on her butt before she slowly made her way back to a stand.

"Come here, baby," House encouraged then. "Come to mommy and daddy."

Something tugged in Cuddy's heart at that moment, hearing those words from House, hearing him say mommy AND daddy in the same sentence, linking them together like that. She reached for him, slipping her hand within his, lacing their fingers and squeezing gently.

Evie rocked back and forth on her feet after taking several more steps and then she fell forward this time but managed to catch herself on her hands and knees, still about five feet from them, and House and Cuddy's hands parted as they both reached out towards Evie in case she cried. Everyone held their breath, waiting to see how she'd react. But she pushed herself back upright, looked at her somewhat dirty hands with a frown and then at them before smiling again, clapping her hands before she stuck out her little tongue again, taking another step forward.

"Come on, honey. You can do it," Cuddy whispered, nodding her head encouragingly as Evie rocked back and forth unsteadily for a second.

Evie babbled excitedly then, her body tensing before she pushed her foot forward and then the next, picking up speed before almost falling into Cuddy's arms a moment later.

House smiled at the two of them before deciding to give them a mother/daughter moment. Getting to his feet he went over and scooped Rachel up, tossing her in the air and making her laugh and squeal. "What a good big sister you are, kid!" he declared proudly, right before he swung her around and plopped her down in the middle of the leaf pile.

For a second Rachel just stared at him, wide-eyed, unsure as to what to do and why he'd thrown her into the leaves. But then she smiled and grabbed two handfuls of the leaves, throwing them up in the air to watch them come down around her, giggling as they fell.

The adults laughed and Wilson switched to the camera, taking pictures once more. After a minute he turned to House and Cuddy. "How about I take some family shots?" he offered, aware that a family was exactly what he considered them, for the first time ever.

Cuddy smiled, nodding. "That would be wonderful, Wilson. Thank you."

"Not a problem," he assured. "Why don't you all sit together in front of the leaf pile?"

House shrugged. "Works for me but let me rake it up again first."

A couple minutes later with the pile now back in order Wilson started snapping shots of them.

Cuddy had Evie in her lap and House was beside her, one arm behind Cuddy, bracing him where he sat with his legs stretched out before him, Rachel at his side, his arm around her as she stood with her little head resting against his shoulder. Wilson took picture after picture and when House got bored, he wasted no time reaching behind him to grab handfuls of leaves and shower them on Cuddy and the girls while they squealed and returned fire, Cuddy convincing Rachel to team up with her and attack daddy, covering House in leaves too, the camera clicking and capturing the whole thing.

* * *

"_**There is something that I see  
In the way you look at me  
There's a smile, there's a truth in your eyes**_

**_What an unexpected way_**  
**_On this unexpected day_**  
**_Could it mean this is where I belong?_**  
**_It is you I have loved all along_**

**_It's no more mystery_**  
**_It is finally clear to me_**  
**_You're the home my heart searched for so long_**  
**_And it is you I have loved all along_**

**_There were times I ran to hide_**  
**_Afraid to show the other side_**  
**_Alone in the night without you_**

**_But now I know just who you are_**  
**_And I know you hold my heart_**  
**_Finally this is where I belong_**  
**_It is you I have loved all along_**

**_It's no more mystery_**  
**_It is finally clear to me_**  
**_You're the home my heart searched for so long_**  
**_And it is you I have loved all along_**

**_Over and over_**  
**_I'm filled with emotion_**  
**_Your love, it rushes through my veins_**

**_And I am filled_**  
**_With the sweetest devotion_**  
**_As I look into your perfect face_**

**_It's no more mystery_**  
**_It is finally clear to me_**  
**_You're the home my heart searched for so long_**  
**_And it is you I have loved_**  
**_It is you I have loved_**  
**_It is you I have loved all along"_**

* * *

Song: "It is You (I Have Loved)" (Dana Glover)


	116. I'm Yours

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(I'm wondering how many of you were clapping with Rachel at the end of the last chapter but for a different reason altogether. :) Ha ha. I'm guessing those of you who were are REALLY going to like this one! :)_

_OH MY WORD! And so much for my advisory in chapter one. I have totally broken my own rules about what I will and will not write. Somebody slap me! Note: this chapter is DEFINITELY M.)_

* * *

Wilson had helped them bag up all the leaves before he'd made his goodbyes and headed next door to see Erika. He'd poked his head into the house just long enough to say goodbye to Cuddy before he'd gone, as she had bailed on the two of them earlier in order to take the girls inside. She knew it was now time to start thinking about dinner but what she really wanted was a shower first. House had already wandered off to his bathroom to do just that. She looked over at the girls. They were in need of a bath too. Cuddy thought about it a moment, deliberating, and then decided to kill two birds with one stone. Scooping up Evie from where she was playing on the floor, Cuddy turned to Rachel. "Come on, honey. It's time for the three of us to get cleaned up," she informed her, reaching out a hand to take hers.

Cuddy turned on the water in the shower a few minutes later, thankful that the main bathroom on the first floor contained such a spacious shower area for it meant the three of them could easily use it at the same time, something they'd never had to do up until this point but which was now proving convenient. She turned around and stripped off Rachel and Evie's clothing before removing her own. Then she checked the water temperature before settling Evie on her hip and steering Rachel in. Rachel had joined mommy for a shower before so it was no big deal. She went under the spray, wetting herself down as Cuddy bent to make sure her hair got adequately saturated for washing. Then she handed Rachel a bar of soap, knowing she liked to do things herself and prove she was a big girl. Cuddy then turned her attention to Evie, washing her hair before soaping her up, the baby raising her hands into the spray and blinking madly when drops of water bounced off her hand and flew in all directions.

Five minutes later Cuddy had her rinsed and ready to go. She had planned to just towel Evie off and let her sit outside the shower playing while she washed Rachel's hair. But when she turned to open the shower door and grab a towel, there were no towels there. Only then did she remember that they were all sitting inside the dryer from the load of wash Gerta had done that morning, vaguely remembering Gerta informing her before she left that she'd thrown them in, noticing that though they rarely got used, they were becoming dusty, and wouldn't still be there when they were ready to be removed from the dryer.

Clearly she hadn't thought of everything.

Cuddy sighed, realizing she had a problem now, trying to decide how she was going to solve it.

* * *

House thought he heard Cuddy shout his name and so he opened his bedroom door, rubbing his towel over his head before tossing it on the bed and stepping out into the hallway to track her down and see what she needed. She was still calling him and he traced her to the bathroom, detecting traces of annoyance in her tone. Hearing the water running and Evie whining, he smiled, imagining she was trying to clean up the girls and they were fighting her on it, probably both more than a little hungry. Without a second thought he turned the door handle and shoved the door open. "Yeah?" he called back to her before he looked up and spotted her, completely naked in the shower.

Cuddy glanced up in relief. Evie was getting irritable and she was more than ready to turn their daughter over to him. But then her eyes fell on House, who had actually opened the door rather than just cracking it to find out what she needed, and suddenly she couldn't breathe. He was standing there in the doorway in his jeans, his fly zipped but snap yet undone. His hair was tussled and sticking up at odd angles, his chest bare, biceps exposed and his muscles… oh, his muscles, how they made her lick her dry lips in instantaneous desire. She knew he'd been working out ever since he started at RE due to the free gym membership that his hospital worked out with a nearby gym to encourage their employees to keep fit. But she'd never firsthand seen the fruits of his labor and there was some serious fruit tempting her now. She'd only ever really thought about it in relation to how it had strengthened his legs, compensated for his thigh and improved his limp. Now she stood there, staring at him, wetting her lips once again, a needless action as water was still running down her face at odd intervals from her hair being wet, while her eyes roamed over the expanse of his chest and biceps, wanting nothing more than to run her hands over every inch of him as her eyes were doing; her tongue too, for that matter. _Ooooh._

House was in a similar situation, having been caught off-guard by the sight meeting his eyes. Granted, Evie was on Cuddy's hip, obstructing his view somewhat, but every time Evie squirmed, House's view expanded. And just as his body had surprised him earlier in the backyard, it was shocking him now, desire shooting off within him at the speed of light, blood rushing south.

Cuddy saw the hunger in his eyes just then as they darkened to almost a sapphire blue and instantly felt heat pool in her belly, her desire for him kicking up a notch as it automatically responded to his desire for her. Unfortunately, or perhaps not so unfortunately, Evie began to cry and Cuddy immediately remembered where she was and who was with them. "House," she said breathlessly, her eyes widening as she struggled not to stare at how tight his jeans had suddenly become in a certain spot.

"Yeah?" he managed after a moment, blinking a number of times as he tried to focus his gaze just on her face.

"Can you retrieve the towels from the dryer and bring them to us?" she asked quickly, bringing her eyes up, color suffusing her cheeks, suddenly embarrassed to have had him enter and see her naked like this, especially being that the girls were present and it took everything in her to _not _ask him to join her, regardless of whether or not he'd already showered.

"Uh-huh," he acknowledged, swallowing hard before he turned and attempted to make as hasty a retreat as he could in his condition. A minute or two later he came back with a bunch of towels, now averting his gaze, the towels swinging back and forth just out of her reach from where he stood just barely inside the bathroom.

Cuddy sighed. This was ridiculous. They were both being silly. And at this rate, Evie would be bawling before she was able to turn her over to him. "House, you've seen me naked before," she somehow managed to say. "This… really shouldn't be that big a deal. Can you take Evie from me?"

House looked up, his eyes widening at her words. But he came towards them nevertheless, understanding that the baby was anything but happy at present and taking a slippery Evie from her arms immediately after, setting her down to wrap her in a towel a moment later so that he could dry her off, trying his hardest to dismiss how his fingers had grazed Cuddy's slick side in taking Evie from her, causing Cuddy to whimper slightly and his jeans to now feel painfully tight.

"Me too, daddy. I'm all clean," Rachel called, dropping the soap and scampering out of the shower after him.

"Rachel, we still have to wash your hair!" Cuddy declared, trying to catch her before she was out of reach. But Cuddy hadn't seen the soap fall and she slipped on it, barely regaining balance in time to avoid crashing in the shower. She sighed, turning around and bending down to grab the bar of soap from the floor so as to avert another disaster.

House's attention had been brought back to Cuddy when she slipped, worried that she was going to get hurt, and his hands stilled from their position toweling off Evie's legs, his eyes focused on Cuddy's rear as she bent over and gave him a nice view. He groaned then, his body back on full alert.

Rachel knelt down next to him, her little wet hand on his shoulder. "You okay, daddy? Your tummy hurt?"

"Daddy's fine, Rachel," he said after a moment. "Go back to mommy and let her wash your hair. Then I'll come get you."

Rachel reluctantly returned to her mommy who was now upright and waiting for her.

"I'll be quick, Rachel," Cuddy assured her, noticing that House was heading out the door with Evie. She pouted slightly to see him go but then shook herself, knowing this wasn't the time. Maybe… later. But hopefully not _too _much later.

"Mommy?" Rachel asked once he was gone.

"Yeah, honey?" she replied, pouring a little shampoo in her hand and then massaging it into Rachel's hair, forcing House from her thoughts.

Rachel bit her lip, her forehead wrinkled in concern as she asked, "Daddy sick?"

"What? Why do you ask that?" Cuddy inquired, her brow drawing together, meeting Rachel's concerned gaze and wiping the soapy water from her forehead before it could trickle into her eyes.

"He made this noise: 'Uhhhhhhh,'" she mimicked. "Like me do when my tummy hurts."

"When?" Cuddy asked, thoroughly confused now.

"When I drop'ded the soap and you were pickin' in up from offa the floor," Rachel innocently informed her, her expression serious and eyes boring into her mommy's.

It took her a second but Cuddy quickly realized what had happened. Her eyes fluttered shut and it took her a moment to keep from laughing even as she tried to check the resurging desire that flamed anew at the image of the scene in her mind. But finally she opened her eyes and met Rachel's worried gaze. "Daddy's fine, honey," she reassured. "But you can check on him in a minute if you want. You're just about done."

Rachel nodded, allowing her mommy to finish with her hair before she hopped out of the shower. "Daddy, I'm done!" she called, her hand trying to turn the doorknob.

Cuddy watched her, pouring shampoo into her hand once more and then extending her hands up over her head to work it into a lather.

House came to the door, pushing it open to let Rachel come out, not trusting himself in that moment more than to do that.

"Don't forget to grab a towel," Cuddy called after him. "She's dripping wet. I don't want her to fall on the hardwood flooring."

He turned back and entered the bathroom, bending over to grab another towel from where he'd set the pile on the floor. But as he straightened he couldn't help himself. His eyes followed her feet, spread in a wide stance, to her toned legs and on up, taking in how the soapy water cascaded over her curves and ran rivers down her legs.

Cuddy knew exactly what she was doing but she didn't need _him_ to know that. "Thanks for grabbing the kids," she said, smiling before turning around to put her head under the spray of the shower, giving him another tantalizing glimpse of her backside.

House took a deep breath and then groaned once again, running a hand over his face in frustration. This was torture; to finally have his body functioning normally and responding properly to the temptation of Cuddy, _repeatedly_, and _not _be allowed to act upon it. Reluctantly he limped out of the bathroom, but not without looking back once more to check Cuddy out, savoring if only for a second what it felt like to have his body respond once again to her female form in all its delectableness. He didn't know how he was going to go take care of the kids when all he could think about was the various ways in which he could take _her_ in the shower right now, if only Rachel and Evie were next door.

* * *

Cuddy finished up in the shower, unable to stop smiling. House was attracted to her. He was even reacting to her. After all this time with no reaction at all. There was no way she could doubt it though. Not now. And if he was attracted to her and his body was obviously responding accordingly and _consistently _it seemed_, _then she could only hope it was just a matter of time for them now. It had been so long in coming that she knew at times he'd despaired of it happening at all. She'd had her own doubts. But things might just be changing there and she for one longed for the moment when the walls would come crashing down altogether.

She dried off and then wrapped the towel around her, not having taken the time to go upstairs with the girls first to get her things, partly so as not to track dirt throughout the house. Then she ran her fingers through her hair to try and tame it momentarily before slipping out the door to check on the girls, hearing them in the living room.

She felt House's eyes on her as she noted the girls were already in their pajamas, ready to go to bed after supper. "I'm just going to go get dressed quickly and then I'll fix supper," she informed him, meeting his gaze. But no sooner had she done so than his eyes fell to her cleavage spilling out from the top of the towel, eyes widening accordingly, though Cuddy pretended not to notice.

House just nodded in response, swallowing hard, his mind too occupied to think he could get dinner started instead of waiting for her to do so.

She turned away quickly to keep from laughing in delight, though she was sorely tempted to invite him to follow her on up for another eyeful, _or_ let her towel drop on the way out of the room. But since that really wouldn't be appropriate with the girls present and perhaps too straightforward anyway, she made sure to add an extra swing to her hips as she made her way back out of the living room and up the stairs to her room to change. Ten minutes later she came back down and entered the kitchen, quickly going to work, not at all oblivious to the heated looks House was sending her way, though she did her best to control the impulse to be the one who made the first move.

A little over an hour later the lasagna was ready and the garlic bread was done warming in the oven. House had come in to set the table and she smiled softly at him, her hand stroking his bicep in affection before setting dinner on the table.

"I'll get the girls," he said then, his hand reaching out to touch her arm lightly as he headed for the living room.

Cuddy watched him go, somewhat surprised by the gentle touch, a touch filled with tenderness that was far from expected after the heat between them previously, though not at all unappreciated or unwelcome.

Then she smiled and sighed. Things were good. And Cuddy had a feeling they could only get better.

* * *

House came down from tucking Rachel in and went into Evie's room to check on her. She was already sound asleep, her breathing even and little chest rising and falling in turn. His mouth quirked up as he watched her sleep. He had offered to put the girls to bed while Cuddy finished cleaning up from dinner and she had agreed rather readily. He heard the television click on then in the living room and a few minutes later left Evie's room to see what Cuddy was up to.

She was sitting on her knees on the floor in front of the television, closer than she'd ever allow Rachel to sit, fiddling with a remote control in the dim light from the blue TV screen as she hadn't bothered to turn on any lights in the room, clearly intent on what she was up to because she didn't even notice him standing there. Meanwhile he leaned against the entryway, watching her, there being just enough light to make out her profile. After a minute the video started and he realized what she was watching. It was what Wilson had videotaped from earlier in the day.

The camera focused on the girls first but a minute later zoomed in on House sneakily creeping up on Cuddy. He watched emotions flicker over Cuddy's face as she watched the screen, focused and smiling, clearly amused. And then he saw Cuddy tackle him a minute later. The real Cuddy reached out, her fingers tracing his face affectionately on the screen where he lay under her in the midst of the leaf pile. House looked on, one eyebrow quirked wryly, as on the screen he flipped her over in the leaves, watching the steamy kiss that followed and reliving it, even as he watched Cuddy place two fingers on her lips, running them over her mouth.

She sighed then, slowly getting to her feet, and House pushed off the wall and stepped into the room, clearing his throat so that she'd know he was there. He crossed the room and sank down on the couch to watch Evie's first steps, one arm up on the back of the couch. Cuddy smiled warmly at him before she came with the remote and sank into the cushion next to him, her head coming to rest on his shoulder.

When the camera captured Rachel clapping and encouraging her sister and Evie breaking into a wide smile upon seeing her parents watching her, Cuddy's left arm stretched out over her as she settled more into his side, wrapping her arm around House as she pulled her feet up on the couch beside her, adjusting her head so she was more comfortably against him. House's arm came down then, settling around her shoulders, the two of them watching the rest of what Wilson had filmed in comfortable silence. The video ended after a couple more minutes and Cuddy clicked the remote to turn off the television but she didn't move from House's side.

After a minute she ran her left hand from his far side, across his chest towards her, and back down to his side, trying to maintain it as affection rather than something that might ask for more from him than what he was yet willing to give her, simply enjoying the opportunity to touch him.

"Thank you for a perfect day," she whispered almost shyly. "Thank you for giving me the gift of being a part of your life and a part of Evie's life. I'm so thankful I could be present when she took her first steps. I… wouldn't have wanted to miss this day. Not for anything."

House swallowed hard at her grateful acknowledgement, equally glad that she'd been there to be a part of this. He brought his hand from her shoulder up into her curls, running his fingers through them as he tucked them back behind her ear. "You're her mother," he said quietly. "You deserve to be here."

Cuddy sighed and then moved back a little to see his face, turning slightly to face him more head on. "Maybe so but it could have been… different. And I have you to thank that it's not."

Then she leaned up on her knees and brought her lips to his in a gentle kiss, her hand trailing up his chest to cup his cheek lovingly. Cuddy broke contact before he could react, albeit reluctantly. "And House," she continued, "I mean it when I said you've given me the perfect day. It wouldn't have been perfect without you because you were… a big part of what made it so perfect."

House stared at her, his hand falling from her curls as she turned, straightening her legs out before getting to her feet.

"Night House," she murmured then, looking at him softly a moment before she bit her lip and headed for the stairs. She wanted this desperately, she really did, but she refused to put any kind of pressure on him. When he was really ready and equally sure of his decision, he'd come for her. Of that she was certain.

"Night Cuddy," he replied finally, reluctantly watching her disappear from view. When she was gone he raked a hand through his hair, expelling a breath, that not being exactly how he'd expected the night to end, but… at the same time, uncertain as to just what he'd hoped for.

* * *

House had gone to bed shortly after Cuddy turned in for the night but woke up an hour later, groggy and uncertain as to what had awoken him, not having been asleep for long. Then he heard a sound and it startled him out of his half-asleep state. However, when he flipped over and looked around in the darkness of his room he realized it wasn't coming from within. The soft sounds were coming from the baby monitor. He had no idea why he still used it. Evie hardly ever woke up in the night and when she wanted out, she knew how to make it known, but he supposed it was just his own way of keeping tabs on her. He scrubbed at his face and then rubbed his eyes, sitting up in bed. Ever since Evie's birth he had been amazed by how light he slept. He wondered if he would adjust over the years and return to his normal pattern of sleeping through anything, when the insomnia wasn't plaguing him, though it hadn't bothered him all that much since Evie's birth.

House heard someone move across the floor in the baby's room through the monitor and he instantly recognized that it was Cuddy. He debated whether he should just lie back down and go to sleep or whether he ought to get up and make sure everything was alright. But he didn't hear Evie and so he figured Cuddy just felt drawn there. It had been a big day. Not just for Evie but for him and Cuddy too, he knew. House turned the volume up on the monitor and stretched his arms up behind his head for support. He lay there, thinking about that kiss in the leaves, thinking about the gentle kiss from an hour ago, and finally, thinking about Cuddy herself. He thought of his conversation with Wilson at Evie's birthday party and how today, after Cuddy had gone inside, he had turned to Wilson and simply said, "I want you to support me in this." Wilson had known immediately what he was talking about and had nodded, not surprised after what had just happened, nor really, after the evening of Cuddy's car accident.

House knew after that kiss what everyone else had already claimed to know. He didn't just love Cuddy. He was in love with her. And now that he was physically capable of responding to her, now that once more he felt whole again, it was all just a matter of time. There were no ifs. There was only when.

* * *

Cuddy had been restlessly tossing and turning, her thoughts on House and their living arrangements, but mostly on the events of today. House loved her. There was no doubting that. And it seemed that he was once more physically attracted to her and able to react to her. That was… _amazing._ Reassuring yes but mostly… _amazing. _ The question was: where would they go from here? He'd let her back into his life and his heart. But was he ready to entrust her with _all_ of him? Was he in love with her like she was him? Was he… anywhere close to being ready to test things out and see where the two of them could go from here? And did his physically being ready to once more act on the chemistry and love between them signify that he was emotionally ready? The thrill of having him physically stimulated she'd expected, but not so much the fear of somehow screwing things up and causing him to have a setback by doing the wrong thing. And wouldn't it be just like her to mess things up somehow right when everything was going so well?

She sighed and knew she wasn't going to get any sleep just yet. Kissing him almost an hour ago, as benign as it had been, had stirred back up how she'd felt earlier, while in the leaf pile beneath him, the flame of desire having relit between them. Not to mention the moment she'd had with him while she'd been in the shower. Yeah. There was little chance of her mind shutting down now.

Shoving the blankets off, she slipped from her bed and out the door, not bothering with her robe. She treaded softly to Rachel's room, peeking in to check on her. Almost three, she was getting big, growing up way too fast. And she was so smart too. The glow of the nightlight by her toddler bed allowed Cuddy to make out her soft features, her eyes closed in sleep, hair swept to the side, one hand tucked up between her pillow and her cheek, her other arm clutching Baby G to her chest. Cuddy smiled, watching her chest rise and fall for a moment before turning and heading back down past her room, the plush carpeting beneath her feet muffling any noise she might be making.

She stepped quietly down the stairs, not because she feared waking Evie, who regardless of noise volume always slept amazingly well, but because she really didn't want to disturb House, who she assumed was sound asleep by now. She paused at the bottom of the stairs, indecisive. She had come down with the intention of making herself a cup of tea but the desire was there within her to creep into Evie's room and check on her as well, not having been the one to put her to bed that night. She made a split-second decision, tiptoeing to her door and easing it open so that she could step inside.

Cuddy carefully made her way over to the crib, appreciating the moonlight that was coming in through the window and making it possible for her to better see Evie without turning a single light on. She stood by the crib railing, tempted to lean into it but afraid she might make some noise in the process and disturb House's rest via the baby monitor, if not by waking Evie up somehow by accident. She watched her little chest rise and fall, much the same as she'd watched Rachel's moments before. Both of her babies were growing up way too fast.

She studied her daughter, absorbing every little detail she could, from her soft baby hair so like Cuddy's hair had been when she was little, to her chubby baby cheeks, to her long baby fingers which spoke with promise of piano lessons with daddy to come. Cuddy reached in and smoothed the blanket that obscured the rest of her daughter before allowing herself the opportunity to rub gentle circles on Evie's back.

So much grief and guilt, turmoil and timidity… So much… _triumph _and _tenderness_. She wiped a tear away, thinking for the millionth time of the harm she had almost done to this little life. Even now there were times when she'd be out in public with House and the girls and strangers would come up to her to ask about her children, and suddenly she'd verbally stumble about, for some inexplicable reason briefly wrestling with the idea of identifying Evie as hers, rather than House's alone. The baby definitely resembled her the most, with the exception of House's gorgeous eyes, but every once in a while she still felt like claiming Evie was a right she had to earn, rather than a privilege automatically hers, as it once could have been. Sighing, she briefly allowed herself to think on just how much time she'd wasted; _too much time_, on bitterness, anger, hostility…, when she could have been embracing the direction her life had taken, enjoying moments that she'd previously longed for – regarding House – regarding a child born of her womb…, for as long as she could remember. She pressed her fingers to her lips and then lightly touched Evie's cheek with them, delivering her kiss and her love to the precious baby before her. She'd stopped wasting time though. And never in all her life had she been so grateful that was true. Turning finally, she breathed out her contentment with where she was at and headed towards the kitchen, leaving the door to Evie's room open a crack, as before.

Cuddy filled the teapot with water and then reached in the cabinet to the left of the sink for her favorite mug. She rifled through the teabags in the pantry until she found her favorite caffeine free tea and set the teabag in her cup, waiting for the water to heat up. When she could tell it was close to boiling she turned the stove off, not wanting House to be disturbed by the whistle of the teapot. She poured her mug full of hot water and waited for her tea to steep before removing the bag and squeezing the excess water out with the back of a spoon. Cuddy threw it in the trash then and walked over to the table in the breakfast nook, climbing up on a stool and sipping her tea in the quiet stillness of the house as she propped her feet up on another stool, using the wall behind her to keep her upright.

It was just so amazing to her how her life had turned around so suddenly, all in glimpsing a baby at the park from a distance, and how quickly the past six months had flown by. This house had been her and Rachel's home for months now. It _felt _like home now. And Rachel… Rachel had never missed their old house at all. Nor their old life, which was as it should be. She was the happiest of little girls: adoring House, delighting in Evie, enthralled with Cookie Monster… Rachel had never been happier than she was since they'd moved in. Cuddy… couldn't even imagine ever going back to how life had been before.

Now she would come home in the evenings, by five thirty if she could help it, to find Rachel a regular chatty Kathy, racing to her the minute she stepped in the door, wanting to tell mommy about everything. It was amazing how quickly her vocabulary was expanding now. It seemed like every time Rachel opened her mouth, new words were bubbling out of her. She fully expected that someday House might complain about how much Rachel talked. She should probably be surprised that he hadn't grumbled half-heartedly about it already. It made her smile, just thinking about it.

Cuddy got to her feet, moving to stand right by the window, so as to replay the memories of their time outdoors, hours before, wanting once more to just bask in how perfect the day had been, savoring it. Because it had truly been a day _meant_ to be savored.

Little did she know this night would be equally worthy of savoring.

* * *

House opened his door when he found himself still awake fifteen minutes later and stepped out into the hallway, quietly limping to Evie's room. He peeked within but Evie was sound asleep, Cuddy nowhere in sight. He straightened then and walked out of the nursery, heading to the kitchen for a glass of water. She had probably gone back to bed, he decided.

However, when he got to the kitchen Cuddy was standing in the breakfast nook, sipping a cup of tea with her back to him. She was wearing… What was she _wearing? _It looked… vaguely familiar. She was wearing… what he suspected after a moment of studying her was an old t-shirt of his from med school that he assumed she'd apparently stolen way back when and never returned. It was a soft blue color, faded from time's passage and he only recognized it because of the logo on the back. Just seeing it made him feel all the more possessive of _her. _Little white pajamas shorts with a ruffled hem peeked out from underneath, barely covering the tops of her creamy thighs and complimenting her curvy derriere nicely, making him swallow hard.

He wondered if she had ever truly recognized and understood the effect she had on him even when clothed, but then, even if she once had, she hadn't yet detected his presence and therefore was clueless at present to just what she was doing to him now. He leaned against the frame of the entryway, watching her contentedly as he had earlier, savoring the stirrings of physical desire while admiring the way her hair fell around her shoulders and how its sheen glowed in the patch of moonlight spilling in.

Cuddy turned around then and gasped, almost spilling what was left of her tea. "You scared me," she murmured softly after a moment.

"Sorry," House replied, pushing off the doorframe, moving to the cabinet to retrieve a glass and fill it with water at the sink now that he'd been caught.

"It's okay. I hope I didn't wake you," she added apologetically, her tone hushed because of the hour. She moved towards him, setting her almost empty mug on the countertop beside the sink before turning to head back to bed, a little anxious that she might put pressure on him just by being around him now, especially dressed as she was, even if it was unintentional and unbeknownst to her.

"Don't worry about it, Cuddles," he replied, not even realizing what he'd called her as he turned to follow her and go back to bed.

She stopped where she stood and turned back to him, searching his face, frankly, more than a little surprised by what he'd said.

"What?" he asked, coming to a stop as well, taking a sip from his glass as his eyebrow lifted questioningly.

She smiled and softly murmured, "You called me Cuddles."

His eyes widened slightly in surprise but he didn't immediately say anything.

"You haven't called me that in a long time," she whispered, biting her lip then. "I… I've _missed _it."

"I thought you never liked it when I called you that," House mumbled after a moment.

"I… didn't think I did," she admitted hesitantly. "But then you stopped and… I realized that I _do_ actually. Like it I mean."

He studied her a moment longer, perplexed as to how to respond to that. "Then I'll… have to call you that more often," he finally replied quietly before thinking about how stupid that sounded and growing uncomfortable, decided now he just sounded like the biggest idiot ever.

He looked down, once more remembering what she had on and then asked suspiciously, "Is that one of my shirts from med school?"

Cuddy's eyes shot open and she looked down, realizing that she was in fact standing in front of House in the shirt she'd never confessed to having. She looked back up at him only to find that he was grinning like he used to with her, way back when.

Butterflies took flight in her belly almost immediately. How long had it been since she'd been on the receiving end of a grin like that from him, so cocky and self-assured, yet boyish somehow too? "Yes, it's yours," she admitted, biting her lower lip as if it would keep her from smiling, a little embarrassed to be caught.

"It looks better on you than I bet it ever did on me," he informed her, his eyes slowly sweeping over her and causing her cheeks to blush prettily, even as her body responded to the admiration in his eyes.

"I don't know about that," she murmured self-consciously, looking down before looking back up at him almost shyly. "You used to look pretty good in it to me."

Neither one of them said anything for a moment, just staring at one another.

"Thank you though, House," she finally added so as to break the moment passing between them, desperately trying to contain her desire to move into his space with purpose and _every_ intention of kissing him passionately.

His face turned serious then and she waited as he appeared to be thinking through some things. "What's wrong?" she asked concernedly after a moment.

House shook his head. He had made a decision. He was ready. He wanted this. And so now he was going to make that known and… put the ball back in her court. "Nothing. I just… Cuddy, I think I should warn you, I'm not going to be able to resist you for very long."

She stared at him in surprise, as well as uncertainty as to how to respond to that. He wasn't going to be able to resist her for long? So she… She _was_ a temptation for him now? She was… _tempting?_ He was… _tempted?_ She tried to gauge how House himself felt about that but couldn't tell. Did he _want_ to resist her?

He sighed, reading her expression and then continued, "I'm warning you because now that we're _here_, you need to decide what you really want. If you are absolutely certain that you want us to be together _'together,'_ then… you'll have to make that clear to me. But if you have grown comfortable with how things are and just want for things to continue status quo, at least for a time so you can think about it first, then I need you to tell me that. Honestly, I don't know that I am capable of holding out very long, now that things _have_ changed. It's been a long time since… I've felt like this and… I know what I want. I don't _care_ about our history. I don't care about how we've messed up or missed opportunities or… been through hell and back. It's in the past and I've decided that I'm not going back there. But, if I surrender to exactly what I want now, if I surrender to loving you in _every_ sense of the word, then you need to know in advance that doing so, for me, will be my commitment to you, but also my demand for a commitment _from you_ as well. Because Cuddy, once I have you, _really _have you… Once I claim you as mine and mine alone… I'm not going to let _anything_ come between us again."

She blinked at him, swallowing hard when he'd fallen silent, but then managed to nod, unable to do anything else, so caught off-guard by his self-disclosure, his… having _intentions,_ his sudden determination to let go of the past and embrace her into his heart, that she could hardly manage to take air into her lungs. She watched him nod in response before he stepped around her, walking back in the direction of his bedroom and out of her line of vision. A moment later she heard the door softly shut behind him and in response to being alone once more, teetered where she stood, reaching out to grab the wall to steady herself.

What just happened? she asked herself then, a moment before she felt emotion-packed tears course down her cheeks.

Cuddy stood there for several minutes, regaining control of her emotions while she puzzled over what to do and how to tell him what it was that she wanted, because there was no way she needed _more time _to think about just what _that_ was. She wondered if she was supposed to wait until the morning or… if she could tell him as soon as she wanted to. Because she wanted to. And she wanted to _right now._

* * *

House watched the light coming in from under his bedroom door with a wry smirk and the shadow that moved back and forth, back and forth. Cuddy was pacing right outside and she'd been doing that for several minutes now. He wondered what she would decide, though he knew even her presence there outside his door spoke volumes about what she wanted.

He watched the shadow for another couple minutes but then got off his bed, not necessarily because he was taking pity on her but more because he couldn't go without knowing what she was thinking, any longer. By the time he stood before his door she had stopped pacing and was now just standing in place, her shadow no longer moving. It made him think of that night when she'd come to meet Evie and spent hours and hours outside, struggling to allow herself to do what she'd wanted to. And… if this was what she wanted, he didn't want to give her more time to talk herself out of acting upon it, just because her guilt complex rose up to impede her. Now was not a time for guilt. Now was a time for decisive action.

Reaching out for the door handle he turned the knob, pulling it open, and almost caused Cuddy to fall in, as she'd been leaning against the door unbeknownst to him.

Cuddy caught herself before she could tumble into him. She looked up with an expression resembling a deer in the headlights but House smiled mischievously, an eyebrow rising. "Are you coming in?" he asked dryly, taking a step back to make way for her if she was.

Cuddy didn't say anything but she did follow him in, her eyes never leaving his, swallowing hard even as she reached blindly for the door and gently closed it behind her, her heart racing and breath suddenly constricted.

They stood there for a minute or two, just facing one another in the darkness. But then House surged forward, taking the leap, and suddenly Cuddy was in his arms, their lips locked together in a stormy kiss and he was pressing her back into the door, his hands on her waist, hers coming up and around his neck, desire for one another momentarily outweighing any intentions to ease into _anything_. They nipped and licked and battled with their tongues while House reached down and lifted her up, wrapping one of her legs around his waist as he brought her higher up the door, his hands tracing her smooth skin earnestly as she whimpered her eagerness for this to finally happen, drawing up her other leg on her own to wind it about him. House wasted no time rotating his pelvis into her, letting her know he was ready to follow this wherever it went, well, where it could _only _go.

Cuddy moaned and rocked her hips against him as best she could, quickly losing control but still following his lead, breaking the kiss as she allowed her head to fall back against the door, her hands grasping firmly onto his shoulders, feeling absolutely desperate for him. House took full advantage of her exposed neck, biting and sucking alternatively while one of his hands slid along her thigh and then up her shorts and under her panties to caress the soft skin of her backside, only stoking the fire already raging within her by the contact, one of Cuddy's hands leaving his neck and fumbling for the hem of his shirt to pull it up enough to run her hand over the contour of his back, grabbing at it in frustration when it momentarily evaded her attempts to get it out of the way before she met with success and moaned happily.

"We need to take this to the bed," he finally panted after a few minutes of heated kissing and touching, allowing Cuddy to slide down him until her feet shakily found the floor, both of them enjoying every second of their prolonged physical contact while it also served to slow them down momentarily and really enjoy the buildup to what was about to happen.

The minute she had her balance though, her fingers went under his t-shirt, anxiously tugging it up and over his head. He reached for her immediately afterwards and caught her hips, slipping his fingertips under her shorts before using them to push her shorts down until she kicked them off impatiently to aid him. House laughed softly at her and Cuddy reached for him, but hesitating to be the one to remove his pajama pants, instead brought her hands up his chest to cup his face, bringing him back down to her for another kiss.

House's hands returned to her waist and then travelled along her skin until they rested against her lower back before he skimmed them down her to cup her backside, his hands actually in her panties and cupping her flesh, drawing her into him before bucking against her. Cuddy bit back another moan as his action had caused her head to fall back and away from him once more, but she pushed him lightly in the direction of the bed before he could return his mouth to her neck, unable to _not _reflect how much she wanted to be up on that bed with him as soon as possible. House sat down willingly enough but kept his hold on her, bringing her with him. Once she was standing between his legs he brought his hands up her back and to her arms before sliding them down their length to take hold of her wrists, trapping them temporarily so that they wouldn't keep rushing things, allowing them a chance to breathe as they stared at each other before he released her wrists reluctantly, leaning towards her, a hand lifting her shirt up ever so slowly to expose her stomach before he lowered his head and brought his face close to nuzzle against her there, pressing soft kisses to her belly, his scruff raking against her and making her gasp.

When his kisses gentled further she was instantly reminded of her pregnancy and how she'd refused to let him touch her belly at all. Swallowing back emotion at the tenderness of what he was doing and the meaning she interpreted behind it, Cuddy's hands came up, threading into his hair as she scratched her nails lightly against his scalp and gave him time to concentrate his attention on a part of her body she'd denied him before. But when his tongue found its way into her belly button, his scruff rubbing tantalizingly against the skin surrounding it, the passion was instantly back, her skin overheating once more. She tried to control her breathing as his lips and tongue worked magic on her belly but it was no use. Everywhere his lips went the fire spread, flames burning hotter, her breathing ragged in consequence.

He drew back just as his forehead reached the level of her breasts, allowing her shirt to fall back down and cover her for the moment. He caught her hand though before he met her eyes and slowly scooted back on the bed, drawing her with him once there was room for her to follow. Without hesitation she raised a knee to crawl up on the bed after him before her other knee found its way onto the bed as well.

When he was satisfied with his location on the bed, Cuddy beside him, he released her hand but did not break contact, his hand smoothing its way up to her wrist, along her forearm and then up to pause upon her upper arm, his eyes focused on his hand's progress along her naked skin before he met her eyes and applied slight pressure to her arm to let her know he wanted her to lie down beside him.

Cuddy did so without hesitation, settling down upon the bed, still in her underwear and stolen t-shirt, her hair fanning out around her face. House followed her movement, moving onto his knees and into the space she created for him between her legs. He lazily ran his eyes over her as she watched him and then she stopped breathing when he reached for her hips, his fingers tapping a rhythm there before he slipped his thumbs under the elastic lining the top of her panties before looking up at her.

She immediately lifted her hips, biting her lip, but nodded as well when he still appeared to be awaiting consent. Then she forced herself to swallow and breathe as he inch by inch lowered them down her legs, his eyes never leaving hers as he crawled away from her on the bed so that he could remove them fully.

Only once they were off, House throwing them across the room while shifting into a seated position, did he break eye contact with her, his gaze shifting to focus upon the foot immediately to his right. He reached for it and she watched breathlessly as he lifted it up while lowering his head slightly in order to press open-mouthed kisses to her instep. Her knee had automatically bent and she drew in a shaky breath as he kissed his way along her instep and to her ankle while supporting her heel with one hand, trying to control her response as his scruff rubbing against her skin tickled. Little by little he regained the ground he'd lost in backing away to remove her underwear as he slid back across the bed, all the while kissing his way up her calf.

Cuddy couldn't help the breathless cry that slipped from her parted lips once his mouth reached the sensitive area under her knee, nor how her leg fell completely to the side when he lowered her foot to the bed while continuing to kiss up the inside of her thigh.

He was going to kill her before either of them managed to be fully unclothed.

"House," she moaned helplessly as his left hand settled on the inside of her opposite thigh to hold her down as she'd begun to squirm under his attention.

But he kissed his way towards the top of her thigh and then her hip, ignoring her, before he kissed back inward across her stomach towards her belly button. Only then did lift his head to once more establish eye contact.

Leaving his left hand where it was, his right hand skimmed an index finger up her leg to her hip, following the path his mouth had just taken, Cuddy struggling to keep her eyes open as she blinked up at him. Then he circled his index finger around her belly button before using it to begin edging her t-shirt up, her stomach muscles contracting in response.

"May I?" he asked, an eyebrow raised, his finger stilling.

She'd meant to make this first time all about him. But he was making it all about her. And for a second she struggled with that, only to realize perhaps this was what he _needed _from her and perhaps she _was _making this first time all about him by letting him make it about her as he rediscovered her body, even if that wasn't how she'd planned for this to go down.

Once more she nodded her consent and swallowed hard in anticipation.

Using that one finger then he inched her t-shirt up little by little in the middle this time, his gaze dropping to follow his finger's progress. He slid his finger right up the center of her belly to where he first encountered her sternum before her t-shirt resisted his movement, trapped below her. When his eyes shifted from where his finger had been forced to stop to meet Cuddy's gaze, she used her elbows to elevate herself enough so that he could free her t-shirt from under her. Reluctantly breaking contact with her thigh he used his left hand to reach below her and capture the t-shirt between two fingers, pushing it up, watching her as she broke contact with the bed altogether, contracting her stomach muscles and maintaining herself in place as she gave him the space necessary to pull her t-shirt over her head and from her arms before she lay back down, naked before him, without ever having broken eye contact.

House smiled at her before he finally allowed himself to focus on what was newly revealed to him, his attention automatically zeroing in on her chest as he tossed aside the t-shirt, swallowing hard at what now lay before him for his enjoyment.

Cuddy watched him almost nervously, feeling silly for it as she'd always been confident regarding her body and he'd already made it clear that he'd never not found her beautiful. All the same she released a breath when his eyes darkened further with desire, turning hooded, before his hands came up to rest on her sides, slowly spreading out as they slid up from her belly until his thumbs and the webbing of his hands cupped the underside of each breast.

House was overwhelmingly affected by her perfection in what little moonlight filtered into the room through the curtains, revealing it better to him. He released his own ragged breath before he glanced up to establish eye contact once more, breaking the silence between them to mumble, "You're the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen Cuddy."

She bit her lip at the look on his face even as she colored further due to his heated gaze as it wandered back down and across her skin, her chest flushing with heat. She did her best to not interrupt his continued scrutiny however, as this was the first chance he'd really had to delight in her body as she gave herself over to him _fully_ for the first time in over twenty years, unable to not think of all he'd been deprived of during the months of her pregnancy when she'd only allowed it to be about sex and not at all about the two of them_._ As hard as it was to wait for his eyes to find hers again, as much as she ached to let her eyes wander over him and remove what still separated them from full bodily contact, she held out as she'd long ago promised herself she would, should this day ever come, wanting him to be able to see how much she too longed for him with every fiber in her being, considering him the sexiest man she'd ever laid eyes on, when the moment was right and he was ready.

His eyes finally sought out hers again and she met them, her eyes flashing with desire but also with adoration as she murmured with complete and utter honesty, "I love you, House. I never have and never could love anyone as I love you."

House lifted a hand from where it had remained just barely in contact with her breast in order to reach out and traced her jawline with his fingers, meeting her eyes and delving into their depths until he was satisfied with how connected they were in this moment in time.

"I love you, Cuddy," he replied throatily before he slipped his fingers under her hair to cradle the back of her neck, his other hand leaving her chest as well to prop his weight up as he drew her up slightly towards him now, catching her mouth with his own to do everything in his power to show her just that with a deep, probing kiss, tongues entwining languidly.

In a matter of minutes Cuddy found herself once more flat on the mattress but now with House on top of her, his hips cradled between her thighs, his bare chest against hers as they continued to kiss, her hands now tangled in his hair. She slowly brought her legs back around him, locking them about his waist as she helplessly bucked up against him, moaning from deep within her throat as her tongue ran along his teeth before meeting his once again in a seductive dance.

House broke the kiss reluctantly to mumble, "These pants have to come off."

"Mmm," she hummed, rotating her hips underneath him and causing him to hiss out his breath as her mouth found his neck and started trailing kisses along it, playfully nipping and biting every few seconds. "Then remove them," she murmured into his ear after sucking attentively at his earlobe.

He rolled off her, the momentary increase of pressure in his movement causing her head to fly back as she gasped loudly, her hips arching. But when he was off of her she sat up as well, reaching out to still his hands before he could remove his pants as he'd intended.

"Wait. I haven't had a chance to visually enjoy _you _yet and if you take your pants off, I'm going to be distracted. At least give me a second to take you in and admire what all that time in the gym has accomplished," she requested hopefully before slyly adding, "I'll make it _more _than worth your while."

House contemplated her expression wryly, one side of his mouth quirking up before he smugly remarked, "I think whether I let you ogle me or not, you'll make this more than worth my while."

Cuddy pouted but did not wait for permission, her eyes already trailing over his arms and biceps, her hands reaching out to take the same path her eyes just had, stroking along his skin as her eyes darkened with lust and her breathing grew shallower, wanting her lips to take the same path her eyes had just wandered.

House watched her, glancing at what she was doing before focusing on her expression, one eyebrow raised at the intensity with which she inspected him.

Cuddy met his eyes briefly as her fingers stroked the contours of his muscles, now touching his chest and then sliding down to run a hand along his abs as she whispered honestly, "I don't know how I managed to hold off this long in getting you shirtless."

He released a deep-throated chuckle but fell silent when she pressed a finger to his lips. Before she could remove it he turned his head slightly to the side, opening his mouth as he lifted his head to catch it in his teeth, licking her finger a moment later before sucking on it. She smiled at how he was trying to distract her but slowly pulled her finger from his mouth before trailing it down his chest and towards where his pants tented, coming to a stop when her finger rested near his hip and against the top of his pajama pants.

She met his gaze, licking her lips before she asked, "Do you want some help or do you want to remove them yourself?"

House _thought _he'd probably chosen to begin somewhat fast and furious against the door because he figured in doing so, passion abundant, he'd be able to establish a decent erection from the get go and it would hopefully last even if they then took things slower, as he'd always intended to, wanting to not just have sex but make love with Cuddy this first time, establishing their sexual future with that foundation, rather than the precedent they'd set during her pregnancy or even in how she got pregnant. He'd also wondered if fast and furious wouldn't be the only way to set Cuddy up for carrying this out _without_ any tears and bouts of guilt. But whatever he'd been worrying about, he was fairly certain this erection of his wasn't going _anywhere, _anytime soon. Without hesitation then he gestured for her to be his guest and lifted his hips, watching as she sucked in a breath at his giving her permission, eyes widening momentarily before she reached out with her other hand to use both hands to remove his pants as she shakily exhaled, her fingers slipping in at the waistband before she tugged them down, freeing him and then shuffling about on the bed until she could remove his pants altogether.

House watched her eyes climb slowly back up his legs as she crawled back up the bed and then settle on his impressive erection before he glanced down to see it for himself, feeling extra smug when he glanced back up at her just as a shudder ran through her body.

Cuddy released the breath she'd been holding and licked her lips before sucking on her bottom one rather enthusiastically, never lifting her eyes from where she was staring at House, and he choked on his spit in surprise to just how much she obviously did want him while his erection swelled all the more in response.

Scooting in close to him while on her knees, she sat back upon her legs while her eyes crawled up his chest to make eye contact with him again before releasing another shaky breath, her hands trembling slightly as she reached out to flatten them against his abdomen when he said nothing to stop her. She laughed softly in relief though when he pouted and exhaled his frustration as she brought her hands up slowly instead of down, her fingers sliding once more through the hair on his chest before she traced circles over his nipples with her thumbs, her fingers lightly skimming his pectoral muscles. When she pinched him between her thumb and index finger on one side, House grimaced and then gave her a pointed look before sarcastically saying, "I think you've gone beyond just looking now."

Cuddy bit her lip, trying to contain her smile. "Maybe," she acknowledged noncommittally. "I'm not quite done ogling you yet but can't I do that _and _touch you, at the same time?"

"_I_ haven't even really touched you yet," he whined halfheartedly.

Cuddy grinned before immediately moving to correct that, removing her hands momentarily from his chest to wrap her fingers around his wrists, moaning when she was distracted by where her eyes ended up in looking down to find his hands before she brought them up from the bed to cup her chest, gasping a second later as she arched her back when House's hands instantly squeezed her breasts enthusiastically before his thumbs rubbed circles around each nipple.

She moaned then but managed to bring her head back up to watch him fondle her.

"Can I touch _you,_ House?" she pled before she lost her ability to speak, House now in the process of lowering his head to catch her nipple in his mouth.

"Yeah," he rasped against her right breast just as he captured it in his mouth.

She couldn't breathe, let alone speak, but her hand immediately found its way between them, one finger tracing down his abdomen even as her eyes closed as he bit her lightly, causing her to gasp again.

"Cuddy," he groaned out huskily, feeling her finger close but not yet where he wanted it.

Her eyes opened and met his as she throatily murmured, "I have never wanted _anyone_ more than I want you right now, House."

He didn't even have time to respond because at the same time her words slipped from her lips, her hand reached him, wrapping around him as she'd been waiting to, needing to see him receiving pleasure at her hands too. His head instantly fell back as he groaned and bucked enthusiastically into her fist, his mouth releasing her breast with a pop.

Taking full advantage of her opportunity to indulge in him a little, she closed the space between them, her mouth finding his collarbone, her teeth nipping at it. With her free hand she began pressing on the center of his chest, biting her lip when he reclined accordingly. Maintaining her position on the bed, her hand still wrapped around him as House continued bucking lightly into her, she nevertheless managed to lower her head to his chest, pressing kisses to his sternum, biting at his pectorals, mouthing his ribs, all the while bringing her mouth farther down until she was alternating between nipping at his belly button and licking around it.

She smiled against his abdomen as she continued to kiss the skin below his navel, her nose rubbing against his skin.

"Cuddy," he warningly muttered, all while continuing to buck into her hand. "Don't even think about it. It's been a _long _time. I haven't yet tested my control. I can't guarantee as it is that I'll be able to physically restrain myself long enough for you to orgasm before I lose control completely."

"Then don't," she mumbled into his skin, brushing her tongue once more against his belly button while her hand continued to pry grunts from deep in his chest. "I'm more than willing to make tonight all about you."

House groaned at what she was doing as she started teasingly biting a trail further down his abdomen but snagged her arms and pulled her up towards him and off her knees, his breath catching as her body followed, grunting loudly when her hand gave one final firm tug because of his actions before she released her grasp, House meeting her eyes in the darkness once she was sprawled on top of him before solemnly declaring, "I don't want this to be about me. I don't even want this to be about you. I want this to be about _us_. Now kiss me, damn it."

"Be patient," she scolded lightly as she huffed out a breath at how she'd ended up on top of him before she carefully found her way to straddling his waist so they were both more comfortable.

"Is this okay?" she asked worriedly then, her eyes widening as she realized she was on top of him once more, that being about the last sexual position she wanted to find herself in tonight.

"_Kiss me!"_ he commanded, ignoring her question altogether.

She sucked in a breath but then leaned forward to do so, hoping he'd flip them if her being on top bothered him at all.

His head lifted to capture her lips before she could completely bridge the distance, his hand tunneling into her hair to grasp her neck, bringing her down with him as he reclined once more on the bed, and Cuddy moaned into his mouth, her hips shifting uncontrollably against his belly, need ratcheting once again.

House groaned as well, thrusting up once before he reached for her waist and slid her body down his until her ass pressed against his erection, thrusting again before sliding her back up him.

"You're _so_ wet," he mumbled against her lips between hungry kisses.

"I think I have been ever since I tackled you in that leaf pile," she mumbled back, kissing him thoroughly, begging entrance into his mouth before she reluctantly broke the kiss to slide back down his body without aid, the moisture her body had left on him easing the way, following the pattern he'd established, crying out this time as he thrust up against her, still not positioned in a way that would allow him entrance but the tease making her crazy, her back arching accordingly.

House took advantage of the distance between them, his hands leaving her waist to cup her breasts, kneading them, pinching her nipples.

She cried out and then grabbed for his shoulders when he surprised her by lurching upright so she was in his lap, her hand grasping the back of his head a second later when he immediately brought his mouth to her breast, suckling her, while his hands squeezed her ass.

"_House!" _she called out in need when their new position translated into him sliding against her intimately right where he needed to be as he next bucked against her, Cuddy desperately longing to ask him to take her but not wanting to rush him either.

Bringing his head up from her chest, he met her eyes, leaning in to kiss her softly before he asked lowly, "Are you ready?"

She couldn't speak, her throat swelling with emotion, so instead she nodded, gasping as his hands lifted her slightly, allowing him to align himself and slowly push into her, Cuddy's nails biting his flesh as she was robbed of breath, crying out desperately then, her eyes fluttering until he was buried inside her, her muscles squeezing him tightly.

He pressed a greedy kiss to her lips, moaning when she immediately deepened it, clinging to him as he clasped her hips, lifting her slightly before rocking back into her while pulling her back into him slowly, Cuddy struggling to keep her eyes open and focused on his as his body claimed her own, time after time.

House had a feeling it was going to be a long, sleepless night. Smirking against her lips he thought how he'd never looked more forward to it.

* * *

"_**Well, you've done done me and you bet I felt it  
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted  
I fell right through the cracks  
And now I'm trying to get back  
Before the cool done run out  
I'll be giving it my bestest  
And nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention  
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some**_

**_But I won't hesitate no more, no more_**  
**_It cannot wait, I'm yours_**

**_Mmm, hey_**

**_Well open up your mind and see like me_**  
**_Open up your plans and damn you're free_**  
**_Look into your heart and you'll find love, love, love, love_**  
**_Listen to the music of the moment_**

**_People dance and sing, we're just one big family  
And it's our God-intended right to be loved, love, loved, love, love_**

**_So I won't hesitate no more, no more_**  
**_It cannot wait, I'm sure_**  
**_There's no need to complicate_**  
**_Our time is short_**  
**_This is our fate, I'm yours_**

**_Do you want to come on and scootch on over closer dear?_**  
**_I will whisper in your ear_**

**_I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror_**  
**_And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer_**  
**_But my breath fogged up the glass_**  
**_And so I drew a new face and I laughed_**  
**_I guess what I'll be saying is there ain't no better reason_**  
**_To rid yourself of vanities, just go with the seasons_**  
**_It's what we aim to do_**  
**_Our name is our virtue_**

**_But I won't hesitate no more, no more_**  
**_It cannot wait, I'm yours_**

**_Well open up your mind and see like me  
Open up your plans and damn you're free  
Well look into your heart and you'll find that the sky is yours  
So please don't, there's no need  
There's no need to complicate  
'Cause our time is short  
This oh this oh this is our fate_**

**_I'm yours"_**

* * *

Song: "I'm Yours" (Jason Mraz)


	117. I Won't Give Up

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(You are all so funny! I'm very happy that you enjoyed last chapter! Sorry this one doesn't pick up right where it left off but... What do you do? There's a lot to cover in this one as it is. :) Within a couple chapters we will be hitting the fast forward button to jump ahead to cover some things here and there before this story wraps up. But think 125 chapters in all. Oh, and t__he dress Cuddy is wearing later on in this chapter is the one Lisa Edelstein had on at the 2010 Golden Globes, fyi. Thanks so much for all your reviews and warm thoughts! Enjoy!)_

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October 9th, 2011

House carried Evie into the kitchen the following morning after changing her diaper and set her in her highchair for breakfast while Rachel, who was trailing behind him and who had tagged along with him when he went to change Evie, climbed up into her own chair. House made sure Rachel was settled there and wouldn't fall before walking up behind Cuddy who was pulling plates out of the cupboard for breakfast, one arm wrapping around her waist while he lifted her hair off her neck with his other hand, pressing a lingering kiss there.

"Morning," he murmured into her skin.

Cuddy paused with the plates in midair, leaning to the side to expose her neck to better benefit from his attention. "You've already said that," she whispered with a hard swallow, the plates clattering slightly when they finally met the counter. _"Several _times."

"Well I haven't seen you since you went up to shower. And it's a _very _good morning," he quipped, his lips continuing to move over her neck.

Cuddy laughed throatily but admitted rather breathlessly, "It is."

Nipping her neck playfully, he asked next, "How was your shower?"

"It would have been better if you could have joined me," she managed to murmur, biting her lip to hold back a moan as he bit at where her neck sloped to meet her shoulder.

"Welcome to the world of kids," he replied, moving up to bite her earlobe lightly.

"Yeah," Cuddy expelled a breath, her eyes closing. The night before had been perfect. The first time had been slow, with House eventually shifting them until he was on top of her, his weight pressing against her deliciously as she lay under him on the bed. The second time had been faster, the third time even more out of control and…

House's hands came up to knead her shoulders and she dropped her head forward, loving everything his hands had proven to be capable of, not to mention what his mouth could do to her.

"Sore?" he asked when she moaned a moment later.

Cuddy laughed throatily again before acknowledging, "Yes, but not there. That just feels good. You can work my shoulders anytime."

"And other parts of you?" he bantered, pressing his pelvis against her back.

"Other parts need a few more hours to recover before you work them again," she replied regretfully.

House laughed, releasing her and stepping back. "Are you tired?"

Cuddy turned around and then reached for him, running a hand over his chest before slipping her arms around his neck and drawing him close, stepping back with him until she was against the counter with him against her. "Yes. An insatiable man combined with an almost sleepless night followed by a baby rattling the rails on her crib at 6:30 a.m. will do that to you though."

"I didn't hear you complaining earlier," he commented, an eyebrow quirking at her.

"I'm not complaining now," she admitted, wrapping a leg around his knee to pull him more intimately against her. "It was _totally _worth it."

House smiled before jesting, "Cuddles, in front of the kids?" But it didn't stop him from rubbing against her.

Cuddy gasped but unwrapped her leg from his a second later, pouting as she pushed him away. "I have to get breakfast on the table anyway," she moped at length.

House pulled her back to him, his lips barely grazing hers and yet causing her eyelids to flutter with longing. "Maybe we can get them to take their naps at the same time," he suggested.

Cuddy groaned. "I'd love to, but… I really am a little sore. I don't think I'm up just yet for the recreational activities you're thinking of."

House nodded understandingly but then smirked. "Yeah, well, I am a stud."

Cuddy bit her lip, trying to contain her smile. But she didn't mind feeding his ego at this point. Especially after the night they'd had. She reached for him, pulling him back to her this time before tugging his head down to receive an openmouthed kiss. A moment later she broke it so they both could inhale some much needed oxygen. "I can't disagree with you there."

Turning around so as to escape seeing his head swell, she picked up the dishes and reversed directions once again, placing them in House's hands. "Now set the table," she instructed sternly.

"You're awful bossy this morning," he told her, feigning being put out though he did as she said, retrieving silverware once the plates were in place.

She smiled, handing him glasses. "Well, what do you want me to be?" she asked, her lips pursing. "Submissive?" she wryly teased.

House wiggled his eyebrows at her and then quipped, "We'll leave that for the bedroom."

Cuddy shook her head, laughing before turning back to the stove to grab their breakfast from where she had placed it to cool slightly. "Yeah. Right."

* * *

"Since you aren't up to taking advantage of the girls nap with me, I'm going to run a couple errands," House informed her two hours later after coming back inside with Cookie Monster, the breakfast dishes running in the dishwasher and the girls surprisingly both down for their naps at the same time, despite Rachel having slept in longer than Evie had. "Do you mind staying with the girls?"

Cuddy looked at him curiously, wondering what he had to do on a Sunday morning, but she shook her head. "Not at all. Will you be gone long?"

"I'm not sure," he replied, mulling over the question as he turned to grab his keys. "Maybe a couple hours."

"Okay. I was actually hoping to do some grocery shopping today. If the girls wake up shortly, do you mind if I take them with me? I'd need your car seats though since I haven't replaced the car seats that were in my car. You're supposed to get new ones you know, once you've been in an accident," she replied, coming up behind him to wrap her arms around his waist and rest her head against his back.

House stayed as he was, enjoying her warmth. "I'll put them in your rental for you," he agreed.

When she released him he turned around and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. But when Cuddy leaned back to look up at him, words on the tip of her tongue ready to tease him for being affectionate, his hands slid down to her derriere, squeezing her suggestively. "You _so_ want me right now," he taunted, causing her eyes to roll.

She pulled back, expelling a breath of air as if to say how full of himself he was. "Go run your errand," she told him then, shaking her head even as her hand stroked down his chest, her eyes following its progress.

House chuckled but turned to head for the garage door, Cuddy following him, before he paused, rethinking things. "You know what?" he said, turning back to look at her as he reached into the laundry room to grab his spare car keys from the wall. "You can just take my car. I'll take my bike. I haven't ridden it in forever."

"Oh no, you're not," she negated despite catching his keys when he tossed them to her, her eyes narrowing. "I was just in an accident. And _you_ can't tell me that last night didn't take a toll on your thigh, as well as on my…"

Cuddy's words fell away as her face suffused with color and House laughed at her embarrassment. "Yeah? Your what?" he pressed expectantly to annoy her.

She shot him a dirty look and then grumbled, "You know what I'm saying. I don't want you taking any risks after…"

"Such exertions?" he completed gleefully, his eyes wide and jubilant in her awkward stumbling abouts. When had Cuddy ever become so tongue-tied while talking about _sex?_ And with _him_ of all people? Nobody was even around to overhear them and back in the days of working together…

"House," she muttered warningly, pulling him back out of his musings. "You've got two babies at home whose lives _will_ keep you off that deathtrap."

He looked back at her and his smile changed to one of affection before reassuring her, "My leg's fine. It can handle a ride. And I'll drive carefully."

Cuddy pursed her lips. "I mean it," she reinforced, shaking her head in negation. "_No bike."_

His grin broadened and he came back to her, pressing a kiss to her lips which she hesitantly accepted. "I love you Cuddy," he said softly then, brushing her hair back behind her ear before stroking her cheek with his thumb. "I love you," he mumbled again, cajolingly, another kiss pressed lightly to her lips.

Cuddy's resolve melted, as _she did_ in his arms. "So help me House, if anything happens to you, I'll…"

"You'll what?" he asked, nuzzling her neck, pressing little kisses here and there.

"Never mind what I'll do. Just be careful," she whispered, her fingers coming up to stroke through his stubble when he drew back, looking from his mouth to his eyes.

"I will," he reassured her again before stepping back and heading for the door.

Cuddy waited until he was just about to step out before remembering. "House?"

He slowly turned around once more, giving her a "You have got to be kidding me" look though he remained silent, just waiting for her to continue.

She smiled, her arms coming up to fold around her waist as she whispered shyly, "I love you too."

He pursed his lips to keep himself from grinning goofily. Once he had his poker face in place he said, "Of course you do. How could you not?"

Cuddy's left arm stayed around her waist but her right hand came up to settle on her cheek as she gazed his way tenderly, her head tilted to the side. "How could I not," she repeated in agreement, her eyes wide and expressive.

House couldn't keep back the grin anymore. "Bye Cuddy," he gruffly murmured after a moment, shaking his head at her behavior.

"Bye House," she replied with a sigh, stepping to the door after him to watch him leave and only closing it once he'd started up his motorcycle, riding it out of the garage and out of her sight.

* * *

House finished running his last errand, relieved to have it behind him, and then glanced at the text messages he'd received while inside the store. Both Wilson and Cameron had replied to his text, agreeing to meet him at the coffee shop he'd specified, and House smirked because it was clear even if their replies had been brief, that he'd thrown them and they didn't know what to expect, except they obviously were thinking the worst.

Glancing at his watch he calculated how long it would take him to get to the coffee shop. He'd concluded his business with just enough time. Climbing on his motorcycle he replaced his helmet on his head and stuck the key in the ignition to start the engine, driving off a minute later.

When he walked in fifteen minutes later both Cameron and Wilson were already there, sitting at a table together, talking in hushed tones. He quirked an eyebrow at the picture they presented but ignored them, heading to buy himself a coffee first as they'd already made their purchases. Once they caught sight of him their eyes never left him, both falling silent as they tried to determine his mood and what the latest crisis involved to have him call them in like this.

He set his coffee on the table and then plunked himself down in his chair, eyeing one after the other as he got comfortable, stretching out his legs.

"What's going on?" Cameron was the first to speak up, worrying her lip as she frowned and awaited his response.

Wilson eyed him in concern but held his tongue, just waiting for House to respond to Cameron's question.

House raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat but then calmly announced, "This is an intervention."

"For who?" Cameron immediately demanded, drawing back in her bewilderment.

"For me! Obviously!" House scoffed. "Who _else _would require an intervention?"

Cameron shot a look at Wilson, who pursed his lips before asking wryly, "And why do you need an intervention?"

House exhaled a breath of exasperation, tossing his head about before he retorted, "Clearly because I'm about to do something incredibly stupid!"

Wilson made a face before he drolly inquired, "What? Sleep with Cuddy?"

House smirked momentarily as Cameron's eyes widened in Wilson going _there _but then he dryly replied while checking his watch for the time, "Nope. You're… about eleven hours too late for that. But _nice. _You've offended Cameron's sensibilities, Wilson."

Cameron looked a little more shocked at House's disclosure than Wilson did but then Wilson rolled his eyes as Cameron sighed heavily before muttering, "I'm hardly offended. Shocked to have you sharing this, perhaps. But offended, not so much."

"_Anyway," _House redirected dryly before reaching for his coffee to take a sip. "No. Think stupider."

"Well you're already living together," Wilson mumbled.

And just as his eyes widened in understanding, House reached in his pocket and Cameron exclaimed breathily, "You're going to ask her to marry you?"

House placed the jewelry box before him on the table but made no move to open it, leaving it there to recline in his chair, watching them. "So the table's yours. Intervene away. Last chance."

They both looked from the jewelry box to House but neither made a move to reach for it. Cameron was still trying to process the revelation that House had apparently slept with Cuddy _and_ had now made the leap - deciding to marry her, in less than twenty-four hours. But she was still the first to speak.

"Why isn't Erika here for this… _intervention?"_ she asked in curiosity, glancing at Wilson before focusing on House.

"Because she's not an original member of the self-appointed House Protection Club," he retorted snidely. "And because she doesn't stick her nose in my business and volunteer her opinion without it being solicited. Plus," he added more noncommittally, "Who would watch her kid so she could be present? We're all here. Anyway, I know she'll be fine with this."

Cameron smiled at his veiled protests of their protectiveness regarding him, certain he secretly enjoyed it at times because he'd shown appreciation in the past. Smiling slightly, she shook her head before straightening in her chair and shrugging her shoulders. "If you want to ask Cuddy to marry you, I'm fine with that. But you realize it's meant to be a life-long commitment, right?" she teased, her smile growing.

He rolled his eyes and then directed his glance to Wilson, who was staring at the jewelry box in a quandary, his mouth pursed. Finally he heaved a breath and looked up at House before shrugging, "Go for it. You're an adult, making adult decisions. If you're ready and convinced this is what you want, who am I to argue? You know what you're doing. _I assume anyway."_

"Thanks dad!" House sarcastically mumbled, rolling his eyes again.

Cameron leaned forward then, stretching across the table to grab the box. House and Wilson both watched her as she flipped the lid open to reveal the engagement ring within.

Cameron's eyes widened while Wilson whistled.

"It's good to know where all that lunch money you saved me went, isn't it?" House joked wryly.

"I'm pretty sure this ring cost more than I've ever spent on buying your lunches," Wilson mumbled under his breath, certain that in actuality, it probably cost House a couple months' salary.

"It's gorgeous," Cameron murmured, her eyes still upon what she knew had to be a couple carats worth of princess cut diamond set in a white gold ring with sapphire accents on either side of the main stone. Glancing away from the ring only briefly to peek at him, she asked, "I assume the sapphires are in reference to Evie?"

"No," he retorted, "I just wanted her ring to match my eyes. I take coordinating _very _seriously." But then he nodded, chagrined that she'd so quickly pieced that one together.

"How am I ever going to compete with _that _when I buy Erika a ring?" Wilson mumbled wryly under his breath.

Both House and Cameron looked at him, wide-eyed, and he realized what he'd said. Tugging at his collar, he quickly stated, "We're not there yet!"

"But you're obviously thinking about it," Cameron declared, giving him a wide smile.

House smirked as Wilson colored, heat suffusing his ears. But then he shook his head, taking the heat off Wilson when he joked, "I had to make sure it would be a ring she wouldn't be able to resist."

"As if you're worried she might say no," Cameron countered, tilting her head as she eyed him as if he was crazy to think she might.

"She'll say yes. No worries. What I want to know," Wilson dryly pronounced, "Is what her dad said when you asked his permission."

"I didn't _ask his permission_," House scoffed. "Cuddy's not exactly a kid still living under his roof."

Wilson eyed him sternly, pointing a finger at House while Cameron looked back and forth between them in amusement. _"You're _setting a precedence. I hope you know that. One day Rachel and Evie will grow up and ask about how you asked Cuddy to marry you. And when they find out you didn't even bother to ask her father for permission, they're going to see that as license to marry whoever they want, whether you approve or not, and they won't feel the need to look for your blessing either."

"I'll be lucky if I'm still _alive _when they are old enough to marry," he grunted, his eyes narrowing.

"Oh House," Cameron admonished. "That's not necessarily true. Your mom is still alive, as is your biological father. As long as you take better care of yourself over the next twenty years than you have in the past twenty, I imagine you could go on to live a really long time yet."

House rolled his eyes halfheartedly but then grumbled, "He's never liked me. What would I do then? Propose anyway and add in, 'Oh by the way, I asked your dad but he refused his consent. Marry me anyway?'"

Cameron laughed but volunteered, "Just ask him when Evelyn's there so he can't refuse. Cuddy's mom adores you. That's clear to anyone who has ever attended a family party."

House smirked but shook his head in dismissal.

"I'm sure Cuddy would never really expect you to ask his permission anyway," Cameron said then, reluctantly passing him back the jewelry box.

He smirked all the more at her reticence but accepted it, pocketing it a moment later.

"So, can we call this meeting of the '_House Protection Club' _adjourned?" Cameron queried wryly. "It's Sunday after all and I only get so many hours away from you."

House rolled his eyes at the smile she shot him then but grunted. "You guys _suck_ at intervening anyway. Neither one of you cares enough to spare me lifelong shackles to the ol' ball and chain."

Cameron pushed her chair back but said seriously as she got to her feet, "You deserve to be happy, House. And if the idea of entrapping Cuddy into a life of putting up with you makes you happy, then I'm all for it. You've both been through a lot. If you've come out on the other side just to find each other again, then I can't imagine what else life could throw at you that you wouldn't be able to take on and overcome. All I ask is that you don't ask me to wear a suit when I stand up as a groomsman at the wedding. I could pull it off but I'm partial to dresses and heels."

Wilson laughed, shaking his head at the picture that popped into his head of Cameron as a groomsman. Getting to his feet, he drained what was left of his coffee and then tossed his cup in the garbage.

"You leaving?" he asked when House got to his feet but didn't follow them towards the door.

He pursed his mouth but then nodded, Wilson raising an eyebrow but making no comment as they all walked out together.

House climbed on his bike as the other two got in their cars, pausing before he stuck the key in the ignition. Looked like he was going to be a bit longer than a couple hours.

* * *

House stared skeptically at the front door to Cuddy's old house, unable to believe that he was actually standing here. Huffing out a breath he rang the doorbell anyway. At least it would save him a phone call later to verify Evelyn could watch the girls tonight.

Evelyn was the one to open the door and her eyes widened to find him standing there before she pulled him inside, throwing her arms around him affectionately. "You didn't tell me you planned to swing by today!" she exclaimed as she released him and stepped back.

"I didn't know I was coming," he dryly muttered, shaking his head.

Her eyes widened farther as she studied him. "Is everything okay?" she inquired after a moment.

"Yeah. Hey, can you come watch the girls tonight? I… want to take Cuddy out," he admitted hesitantly, his expression chagrined. "We'll probably be gone until late though."

A smile pretty much exploded across her face as she beamed at him. "I can! What time should I be over?"

He paused to contemplate his response. "Five thirty?" he finally suggested. "We'll have a bit of a drive ahead of us."

Evelyn nodded. "Did you come all the way over here just to ask me that?" she inquired then.

"What? You aren't happy to see me?" he joked, smirking slightly.

"I'm _always _happy to see you," she replied immediately, eyeing him with affection.

He rolled his eyes but couldn't help grinning. Then he wryly looked away before mumbling, "I… actually need to talk with Richard about something. Is he home?"

Evelyn drew back in surprise, her eyes widening once more, but she nodded. "He's in the garage, working on something."

House nodded, though inwardly he questioned sardonically how wise it was to be around Richard when his tools were within easy reach. Turning, he headed in the direction of the door to the garage while glancing around to see how they'd changed the place since moving in, Evelyn following him curiously.

Richard looked up when he entered, clearly expecting it to be Evelyn as he smiled before floundering in uncertainty.

"Hey," House mumbled in greeting.

Richard just bobbed his head, waiting expectantly for him to explain why he was here, having gathered it was to see _him_ by then, since his wife was right behind House.

Evelyn gave him a look from over House's shoulder and he quirked an eyebrow but otherwise ignored her.

House glanced around the garage, biding his time for a moment, but then pressed his lips together in a firm line before he turned back to Richard. Best to just get it over with.

"I'm going to ask Cuddy to marry me," he stated evenly, meeting Richard's gaze.

Evelyn gasped before clasping a hand over her mouth and House smirked but did not take his eyes off Cuddy's father.

Richard's eyes flicked from House to Evelyn and then back to House as he processed. "Are you asking me or telling me?" he finally settled on replying, eyeing him while frowning before replacing the wrench he'd had in his hand when House entered, upon his tool station.

"Richard," Evelyn admonished quietly.

"Shh," he hushed her dismissively, concentrating his attention on House.

"Are you shushing me?" she protested disbelievingly, drawing back, clearly appalled.

"Evelyn!" Richard interrupted, throwing her a look. She fell silent but eyed him with disapproval.

House's gaze had flicked to the wrench and it briefly amused him that Richard had put it down instead of continuing to hold onto it threateningly. But then again, maybe that was because he didn't trust himself with it right now. Sobering slightly and ignoring the side drama, House quirked his mouth to the side and shrugged. "And if I'm asking…?" he inquired, trailing off.

"Then I suppose I'd have to consider your request," Richard replied flatly.

"So consider it," House agreed with another shrug.

"Could you be a man and _ask _me?" Richard retorted, crossing his arms over his chest before he spread his feet apart slightly, widening his stance as he waited.

"_Richard!" _Evelyn huffed, stamping her foot at his behavior.

House lifted an eyebrow, a corner of his mouth quirking upwards, but then huffed out a breath before asking, "Do I have your permission to ask Cuddy to marry me?"

"Yes!" Evelyn immediately interjected pointedly but with evident pleasure.

"Evelyn!" Richard tersely scolded, shooting her a dirty look.

House chuckled but did not take his eyes from Richard's face, waiting for his answer.

Cuddy's dad snorted then, shaking his head in moderate defeat. "And if I say no?"

"You'll be sleeping alone tonight," Evelyn quietly muttered from behind House.

House pressed his lips together so as not to laugh again but then turned serious and acknowledged, "I'll ask her anyway."

"Then it doesn't look like I have much choice," Richard dryly intoned with a brief jerk of his head.

"Oh Richard, stop being difficult," Evelyn protested. "Tell the boy he has your permission. It's been a long time coming, after all. I told you twenty some years ago that he'd be asking you eventually."

House made a face at being called a boy and then at her next statement but Richard was focused on his wife temporarily. "You also said if I told him no, they'd probably run off and elope."

"Well, granted, they're a little old to do something like that but… I still wouldn't put it past Lisa," she murmured with amusement.

Richard's mouth quirked but he returned his attention to House, pursing his lips before he wryly acquiesced. "You can ask her. But that doesn't mean she'll say yes."

"Oh Richard, who are you kidding?" Evelyn immediately remonstrated, shaking her head at him in resignation as she folded her arms over her chest. "You _hope _she'll say no. But you know she'll say yes."

He snorted again but then raised an eyebrow when House extended his hand for him to shake. Evelyn cleared her throat loudly but it was unnecessary as her husband was already long-sufferingly raising his arm to shake House's hand with his own.

House laughed when Richard gave his hand a firm squeeze but then said, "Thank you."

"Don't make me regret it," Cuddy's dad muttered back.

House shook his head to indicate he had no intention of doing so.

And then Evelyn was hugging him, laughing. "When are you going to ask her? Tonight?"

"I don't know yet," he replied. "Haven't quite gotten that far."

"But you have the ring?" she asked, drawing back to look up at him hopefully.

He nodded and removed the jewelry box from his pocket to allow her to see it, Richard eyeing it as well from over her shoulder as Evelyn oohed and aahed with approval.

"I've got to go but… you'll be over at five thirty?" he confirmed. "I'm going to take her up to Newark."

"Absolutely," she promised, passing him back the jewelry box, her smile never diminishing in strength.

"And you'll be able to hide what you know?" House asked skeptically, eyeing her now.

"I will," she reassured, nodding as she worked to project an air of seriousness which lasted for all of five seconds before she was rocking up to press a happy kiss to his cheek.

House shook his head, chuckling, but turned to head back into the house and to the front door, Evelyn following him, shutting the front door behind him when he'd gone before she turned, leaning against it, and squealed happily.

* * *

House headed home, trying to figure out where he was going to hide the ring so that Cuddy wouldn't find it. There was no way he was carrying it in the house on his person. Not when over the course of the last thirteen hours at least, they'd proven unable to keep their hands off one another while near each other.

That had him reliving last night though.

He smirked, thinking about one particular moment.

_They'd just finished with round number two only minutes before and Cuddy had rolled away, trying to catch her breath where she lay on the bed, sprawled on her belly, clearly feeling good because she was giddy to the point of giggling. She'd lifted her head up and shook her hair back so it wouldn't obscure her vision as she looked over at him, her eyes wandering down the length of him, grinning madly. And then she'd moaned before mumbling in disbelief, "House, I can't even catch my breath and you're ready to go again. How is that even possible?"_

_He'd folded his arms up beneath his head, returning her grin, quite pleased with himself, especially when her eyes had flicked back down, Cuddy moistening her lips in succession before reestablishing eye contact with him._

_He wasn't unrealistic enough to think that he wouldn't still experience moments when he struggled, perhaps especially during times of conflict between them, but he was grateful to find tonight going so well and his body responding without having to be coaxed, as if to make up for lost time. "Take your time," he'd replied. "I'm pretty sure you got the greater workout last round. I'm in no hurry."_

_But she was already crawling back towards him. "No. I can breathe later. Right now I want you. I want you as many times as I can have you. Until we are both too exhausted to go another round. If you're ready, then I'm all yours, House. So why don't you claim what's yours?"_

_And so he had._

Pulling into the garage he made a last minute decision and opened the passenger side door of his car, its presence telling him Cuddy and the girls were home, tucking the ring into the glove compartment before locking it for safekeeping, along with the receipt. Then he shut the door and headed into the house, hitting the garage door button so that it would shut.

"Hey," Cuddy greeted him once he'd stepped into the kitchen, in the middle of dishing up some spaghetti for Evie, Cookie Monster already camped out beside the high chair in hopes of falling food.

"Daddy! You're home!" Rachel yelled excitedly, slipping her way out of her booster seat before crawling out from under the table to run at him.

"_House! Watch her hands!"_ Cuddy called out in warning, unable to stop Rachel herself.

He just managed to sidestep her and then caught her up carefully, pinning her hands at a safe difference before he rubbed his scruffy face against her neck, Rachel wriggling in his arms as she tried to get away, giggling. Stepping over to the sink with her then, he helped her wash her hands before returning her to her seat so she could continue eating.

Cuddy shook her head at them but then wrinkled her brow before saying, "You were gone longer than I thought you'd be. Did you eat while you were out? We're having a late lunch if you're hungry."

He walked over to rifle Evie's hair, grimacing when he noted she was already making a disaster of the spaghetti Cuddy had transferred to her tray, sauce covering the lower half of her face as she happily grinned up at him. Then he turned to snag Cuddy into his chest from where she stood waiting on his response and captured her lips with his own when she looked up at him, smiling wryly.

Her eyes fluttered and she sighed, enjoying this change in their relationship tremendously. But he pulled back before she was ready for him to, mumbling, "I haven't eaten. I swung by to see your parents though."

Cuddy's eyes popped open and she stared at him in surprise. "You did?" she finally asked when he didn't immediately explain.

"Yep," he replied, stepping around her to head for the cabinet and retrieve himself a glass for milk. "And you've got just under four and a half hours to decide what you want to wear to dinner tonight," he casually threw out there. "Your mom is coming at five thirty to babysit."

"I… She… What?" she asked, prompting him to repeat himself, clearly not sure that she'd heard right.

He laughed at her on his way to retrieve the milk from the fridge. "Did you not hear me or just not understand me? You. Me. Dinner. We leave at five thirty. Dress up."

Cuddy licked her lips, watching as he stepped to the island to pour himself a glance of milk. "We're going out tonight?" she clarified.

He shot her a skeptical glance, his mouth pursing. "Unless you really want to stay in and have takeout, yes, that's what I said. It's what parents usually do when they have a babysitter come over, isn't it?"

"Are you… Is this a _date?" _she pressed, biting her lip as she eyed him with interest.

He rolled his eyes but expelled a resigned breath before jerking his head to indicate it was, figuring he'd best just get it over with.

She smiled, unable to contain it. "And my mother is going to come babysit," she echoed.

"Well, it makes more sense. We could take the girls over there but then we'd have to leave even earlier and… it'll just be easier for her to put them to bed here. And then we don't have to wake them up to bring them home," House responded with a shrug as he reached for a dish now, something Cuddy had meant to retrieve for him up until she'd been thrown by his announcement.

Heading for the drawers she grabbed him some silverware, handing it to him before she took his plate to dish him up some spaghetti as well. "Where are we going to go?" she asked then, still smiling at the thought that he was actually taking her out.

He rubbed a hand over his face at all the questions, accepting his plate when she'd served him before he turned to head back to the table. "We're driving up to Newark and that's all I'm saying."

"Newark?" she repeated. "Just for dinner? You made reservations someplace?"

He chuckled wryly but acknowledged, "No, not just for dinner. And yes, I've made reservations."

"But am I dressing for the restaurant or for whatever you have planned for afterwards?" Cuddy pressed as she carried her own plate to the table, thinking that made a difference, or _might_ anyway.

"Shouldn't you be dressing for _me_?" he countered dryly.

"_House,"_ she whined, that _not _qualifying as an answer.

He groaned but then just gave in and put them both out of their misery, mumbling, "Yo-Yo Ma is in town performing with the New Jersey Symphony Orchestra for their gala benefit concert. I know someone who has tickets but can't go. I called him this morning and got lucky because he hadn't found anyone to take them off his hands yet. Hadn't had time. I bought them from him. Think formal evening wear since it's a gala. Now stop asking questions. I'm not telling you anything else," he grunted.

She laughed but set her plate down before walking over to where he sat, wrapping her arms around his chest from behind, pressing several kisses to his jawline before she released him so he could eat in peace, returning to her own place at the table.

House wasn't sure what was worse: all the questions or the way she kept shooting him little adoring glances while they ate.

* * *

The doorbell rang and House straightened his bowtie before he scooped up Evie from where she sat on the bed, following behind Rachel who had quickly shoved herself off the bed and to the floor, shouting, "Gramma's here! Gramma's here!" as she ran for the front door.

House had taken the girls so that Cuddy could get dressed in peace, knowing it would take her much longer than it would him. Pausing halfway to the door though, he set Evie down on the floor but upon her feet since Cookie Monster was currently in his pen in the kitchen, smirking at her when she maintained her balance before he continued on to the door where Rachel stood hopping up and down in anticipation.

Opening the door, his eyes widened to find Richard had decided to accompany Evelyn in babysitting. It worked for him. He should have just invited him too. A one-on-one ratio was probably in their favor anyway.

Evelyn bent down to hug Rachel as she'd already thrown herself at her legs, wrapping her arms around her knees. House glanced back over his shoulder at Evie, an eyebrow quirked. He smirked when she was still on her feet but now toddling towards them, smiling in excitement at having company. She'd spent the greater part of the day practicing her walking, though she got around much faster when on all fours.

"Where's Georgia?" Evelyn asked then and House looked back at her, smiling wryly before he stepped to the side and said, "She's on her way."

Evelyn gasped the second she caught sight of Evie, having expected her to be crawling as neither one of them had called her yet to let her know Evie had taken her first steps.

"Ebie's walkin' gramma! Ebie's walkin' grampa!" Rachel announce proudly, jumping up and down once more, clapping excitedly.

"_Oh my!"_ Evelyn exclaimed when she finally managed to find words before rushing past him to scoop Evie up and press kisses to her face, Evie giggling and babbling excitedly at the attention, one finger in her mouth.

House glanced back at Richard then who was grinning, until he saw House's eyes upon him and then he dropped the smile, narrowing his eyes at him.

House chuckled but made no comment, wryly grateful when Rachel launched into the story of how Evie had started walking the day before so the attention was off him. He closed the door once Richard was inside and turned to face them just as Evelyn drew near with Evie.

"You're looking dapper, Greg," she said then, smiling at him knowingly.

He rolled his eyes and harrumphed before mumbling dryly, "Don't have high expectations. I still haven't decided that tonight's the night."

She smiled even wider but patted his chest reassuringly. "Just have a good time," she instructed. "Because that's exactly what we're going to do. Isn't it Rachel?"

Rachel nodded up in agreement before her grandpa scooped her up, causing her to giggle.

"I'm going to go check on Cuddy," House said then, excusing himself to head upstairs.

"Greg, wait," Evelyn called after him, following him to the staircase, slipping a CD covertly out of her purse before passing it to him with a coy smile. "Put this in the car first, just in case it comes in handy."

He glanced at it speculatively and then chuckled dryly to find she'd slipped him a Nat King Cole CD. He shook his head at her but then did as directed while she beamed at his back as he moved away from her, House tucking it between his seat and the center console thirty seconds later before returning inside and climbing the stairs to approach Cuddy's door.

"One second," she called to him through the door after he'd knocked.

He rolled his eyes since "one second" could mean anything, but was surprised when she did open her door to him fifteen seconds later.

"Oh House," Cuddy murmured under her breath, eyeing him up and down while trying her hardest to not bite her lip and ruin her lipstick. "You look very… debonair in your tux."

"Your mom said I was looking dapper," he acknowledged wryly, smirking before he allowed his eyes to wander, only able to hold his gaze at face level so long before his eyes fell to eagerly take in what she was wearing.

"Do you like it?" she softly probed then, seeking his approval and returning her focus to his face now that his gaze was upon her.

"'Like' isn't quite the word I would use," House managed to drolly reply before swallowing hard.

"Are you seducing me?" he half-joked then, snapping out of his daze enough to drag his eyes from the dress to meet hers, his mouth twitching.

"I thought that's what you were up to tonight," she demurred, turning her head slightly to the side as she smiled. "Are you sure it isn't _you_ who is out to seduce _me?"_

House chuckled, his eyes moving over her face again and upswept hair that was only loosely gathered in back, remaining curly as he liked it. Looking back down at her dress, he shook his head before smirking gleefully.

"_Oh, your dad is so gonna_ _kill you when he sees you," _he mumbled under his breath, eyeing the plunging cut of her silver V-neck halter top, floor length dress and how it exposed a nice portion of the insides of her breasts as it veered down to just below her breasts before the dress came together, accented with a large brooch in the shape of a flower, gathering at the waist before smoothing out towards the floor.

"I thought you said _my mom_ was babysitting," Cuddy replied in confusion, her attention now entirely centered upon what he'd said as she stared up at him worriedly.

House shrugged, glancing up to meet her eyes. "Your dad came too," he answered before his eyes drifted helplessly back down.

Cuddy held her breath and then released it, sighing heavily, but didn't really know what more there was to say to that. She certainly wasn't going to change.

"Sneak me out the back?" she joked quietly before reaching behind her to hit the light switch.

"I would if I could," he admitted, aware that her dad was going to be giving _him_ the evil eye as well for how she was dressed.

"Do you have a silver bowtie?" she inquired then, an eyebrow raised curiously as she followed him down the stairs.

He glanced back at her skeptically. "So we can match?" he dryly mumbled. "How many bowties do you actually think I have?"

"Well…" she noncommittally hedged, more to the first question than the second.

House released a breath but then nodded resignedly before smirking. "I think I do though. I'll go check. While _you_ go say goodbye to the girls."

"You mean while I go face my father's reaction without you," she muttered back, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Better you than me," he retorted, leaving her at the bottom of the stairs to go track down the bowtie she'd directed him to wear instead.

When he returned to the living room having followed the sound of voices, he had to look away to disguise his widening smirk at the way Richard refused to look at Cuddy directly, scowling, his face pinched.

"Ready?" he asked her then, keeping his eyes from meeting up with Richard's because he could feel his scowl having turned upon _him_ now.

"Yes," she replied, turning to follow him towards the garage door after calling her goodbyes to her parents.

But Rachel ran after them, wanting her kisses and so House paused to comply before also moving to kiss Evie's cheek as well, rolling his eyes when he met up with Evelyn's amused gaze.

"Have a good time," she encouraged, smiling brightly at the two of them.

"But not too good a time," Richard somberly muttered, drawing House's eyes to him briefly.

He pursed his lips but then nodded simply before turning to make his escape, giving Rachel one last kiss when she demanded another as he passed her to follow Cuddy now.

"Well that was fun," she muttered sarcastically under her breath as they escaped the house.

"Shh. Don't distract me," House quipped. "I'm in the middle of organizing the bullet points to my argument of why the girls aren't allowed to dress as their mother does, you know, for future reference. Or do you think I can just agree to allow them to wear what they want when they're the age you are now?"

Cuddy rolled her eyes but laughed at him all the same. House moved in front of her to open her door for her and she kissed his cheek sweetly at his gesture before rubbing her thumb lightly over the spot so as to remove the trace of lipstick she'd left behind.

Once she was within and her dress was out of harm's way House closed her door before heading around to the driver's seat, climbing in.

"I think your mom is more excited about this date than you are," he wryly attested.

She laughed but asked, "Are you implying I'm not excited?"

He shook his head, smiling in chagrin. "Well, it's only dinner and the symphony. But no. I'm just amused by how thrilled your mother is to have you go out on a date."

Cuddy narrowed her eyes at him, before clarifying, "She's thrilled because _you're _taking me out on a date. Don't put her excitement all upon _my _shoulders. And furthermore, just because you're the music buff doesn't mean I'm uncultured and have no appreciation for classical music. I… I'm very much looking forward to tonight, House," she added, her tone gentling.

He smiled her way and then checked to make sure she was buckled in even as he buckled himself in after starting the engine and hitting the button to open the automatic garage door.

Cuddy laughed dryly and he glanced at her just as she met his eyes, cringing before she pronounced sardonically, "My dad is clearly pleased with you."

House grunted but then muttered, "Yeah, he's been thrilled with me ever since I showed up at the house and asked your mom if she'd babysit so I could take you out. I'm sure I only gained his favor that much more when he laid eyes on what you intended to wear on our date."

Cuddy laughed but then pressed her lips together as she slowly slid her left hand over towards him and near the gear shift in the center console.

He glanced at it and huffed but when she turned her hand over he took it, even if the move was accompanied by a dramatic sigh.

* * *

House surprised her by actually taking her to a romantic restaurant which had only opened the year before. She'd been even more amazed that he'd been able to secure a reservation on such short notice but he'd dismissed her questioning glance without comment. Cuddy had bit her lip, her gaze drifting from the soft glow of candlelight to the wine the waiter had poured them both, House indulging in half a glass for the first time in a couple years now, though he only nursed it throughout supper and turned down a second glass as they ate dessert.

It was hard for her to truly grasp the fact that they'd arrived here, though if someone were to ask she wasn't exactly sure how to define the relationship they'd finally arrived at. All the same she could not imagine being any more content than she was in this moment, with House sitting across from her, making her laugh softly at how he kept alternating between checking her out and shifting uncomfortably at random intervals as if uncertain about being in this setting, not knowing what to do with himself and aware that people were dancing nearby but that they didn't have a whole lot of time anyway before they had to leave to get to the symphony. For the most part though, he managed very well, teasing her from time to time as they talked about this and that.

No. She could not imagine the night getting any better.

* * *

With the exception of while they were at the restaurant, Cuddy hadn't let go of his hand all evening. Somewhat amused House darted a glance down to where their hands were linked, Cuddy squeezing his hand when she caught him looking, causing him to roll his eyes before refocusing on the piece the orchestra was now performing.

In the car he'd had to intentionally avoid looking at the glove compartment, his eyes having flicked in that direction one too many times for his own liking, worried he'd draw Cuddy's attention and make her suspicious. He still hadn't decided. Part of him wanted to just go with it and propose tonight. But another part of him thought he should probably… _woo her_ or what not a little more than just one night before popping the question. Then again, what was there to wait for? He'd already decided he wanted this. He was 100% committed. And he'd told her as much the night before while they'd been in the kitchen. So what was there to hold out for? The perfect moment? Like he'd recognize it when it came.

He glanced at her again an eyebrow lifting as she'd started to rub circles on his hand absently with her thumb. Feeling his eyes upon her she glanced his way and then laughed when she realized what she was doing. But she didn't stop and one corner of House's mouth rose in response before he teasingly looked out of the corner of his eye at her chest before casually crossing his left arm over his body as if he was going to try slipping his hand within her dress. She scoffed and pushed his hand away before he could come close to doing so, laughing under her breath again, shaking her head at him before they both returned their attention to the stage, House doing so in a spirit of it having cost him.

* * *

"House, you missed the exit," Cuddy said as they passed the Kendall Park exit on the way home, continuing down the highway.

"Relax," he mumbled. "I just… thought of something I want to do before we go home."

She raised an eyebrow at him in quandary but glanced at the clock only briefly before settling back in her seat.

Cuddy was surprised when he drove in the direction of Princeton-Plainsboro. She held herself back from commenting, though, just waiting to find out where they were going.

"House, what are we doing here?" she asked uncertainly when he pulled in at the jogging park where she'd gone to track him down in the past and where she'd asked him to go with her when she'd asked to speak with him about being allowed to be a part of Evie's life and his own again, House at the time opposed to talking at his place.

He parked the car and then shut off the engine before turning to look at her, a small smile forming upon his lips. The he turned back to face forward, staring out at the picnic tables before them. "Do you remember the last time we were here?" he asked without waiting for a reply before continuing. "Six months ago you came to me and wanted to know if you could be a part of Evie's life." He hesitated, letting that thought sink in to his own head before he picked back up with, "But you also asked if I couldn't find it in me to love you again."

Cuddy bit her lip as he spoke but then she released it to murmur, "You said you loved me but didn't want to. You said you loved me but… it brought you no pleasure anymore."

She looked down at her lap sadly but then glanced his way only to find him smiling widely while still facing forward.

"I was wrong when I said that it was too late for us Cuddy," he acknowledged then. Turning to look at her, he sobered before recognizing wryly, "I said that there was nothing I could offer you. And I believed that. Six months later, I… want to offer you _everything._"

Cuddy swallowed hard, fighting tears, and House lifted his left hand to bring it across to her, cupping her cheek momentarily before he released it.

Turning, he reached for the door handle and opened it before climbing out. Cuddy watched in confusion as he walked around the front of the car and then opened her door, holding his hand out for her to take.

Reluctantly she climbed from the car but asked, "House? What are we doing?"

He led her to stand before the car and kissed the corner of her mouth before mumbling, "Wait here one second."

Then he headed back to her side, leaning in to unlock the glove compartment, pocketing the ring as he'd made his decision before he grabbed the CD Evelyn had given him, scanning the back of it before turning the key in the ignition so that he could lower the powered windows and pop in the CD, setting it to play the first song that grabbed his attention, turning the volume up before he closed the doors behind him so the car wouldn't beep at him for leaving the key in the ignition.

Heading back to where Cuddy yet stood, watching him doubtfully before glancing about the park as if afraid they might get attacked just by being here after dark, he smiled as the music started and offered her his hand. "Dance with me," he instructed as he drew her to him, lifting her arms to place them around his neck before his hands found her waist, Nat King Cole's "I Love You for Sentimental Reasons" playing from the car's stereo.

It took her a few seconds to relax but finally she sighed and pressed in closer to him, laying her head against his chest as she breathed him in, swaying with him in the dim light spilling their direction from the nearest streetlamp.

Halfway thru "Unforgettable" she lifted her head to look at him, smiling gently before she teasingly murmured, "You know, you didn't have to take me out and wine and dine me, even _romance me,_ in order to bed me."

"Now you tell me," he mumbled under his breath as if put out.

She grinned, making him pause in their swaying so that she could lean up and press a soft kiss to his lips, her eyes lidded.

"Nah," he quipped, smirking now. "That's not why I took you out. I already knew you were a cheap date."

She returned to her feet, narrowing her eyes at him, but he immediately started them swaying again, not paying any attention to the expression on her face.

Finally she sighed, rolling her eyes before wryly muttering, "That sounds dangerously close to a 'Why buy the cow when the milk is free?' type argument."

He laughed then and she couldn't help but smile as well in amusing him, though she tried to restrain it by biting her lip.

He closed one eye and considered that before quipping, "Strictly speaking, a case could be made for that being true as well."

She huffed at him but mumbled, "I'm sure my dad would just love to hear you say that," even while continuing to dance with him.

Half a minute later she was glancing around the park and he rolled his eyes before dryly stating, "Would you just relax? I'm trying to listen to this song and avoid stepping on your feet but you're ruining my concentration."

She smiled up at him but then asked doubtfully, "Well House, I'm just not sure how smart it is for us to be here this late at night. The keys are obviously in the ignition. What if someone comes and tries to take the car?"

He huffed out a laughing breath, shaking his head before he muttered a little mockingly, "So much for _romancing you_."

"Sorry," she immediately apologized softly, not releasing him when he moved to let her go, realizing she was potentially screwing this night up for him and not wanting that. Instead she focused on the song that was playing now, "When I Fall in Love," and bit her lip as she settled back against him.

"I'm in love with you Cuddy," House said seriously just then.

Her heart started to race and she drew back to look up at him as they came to a stop, but she did not break contact with him, her hands just slipping from around his neck to rest against his chest, one pressing against his heart. "Oh House," she murmured with emotion. "I'm in love with you too."

"When I said in the car that I want to offer you everything, I meant it," he continued somberly, reluctantly releasing her waist to take a step back and see her better.

"And you _have_, House. You've given me a chance to be in Evie's life and to be her mommy, you've given me and Rachel not just a house but a home, you've allowed the four of us to become a family and… and now you've given me another chance to have everything I could dream of _with you_. You have offered me everything I could ever want, House, and… so much more than I'd ever imagined," she replied, removing a hand from his chest to wipe at an errant tear that was currently falling down her cheek.

He stroked her face, catching the next tear to fall with his thumb and swiping it away before he smiled and said lowly, "But there's one more thing I'd like to offer you."

Cuddy's face reflected her perplexity, so focused upon his face that she failed to notice him reaching into his pocket. Her mouth moved as she tried to form her question regarding what more there was to offer her but she was choked up now and couldn't get the words out. She didn't know why he'd chosen to come here. She wasn't sure if it was to mark how far they'd come in the last six months or to cancel out sad memories as she'd claimed this place as theirs some time ago, but regardless, she couldn't imagine what could make her happier than where they were at now, and was utterly moved by his willingness to share his thoughts with her.

House hadn't planned to get down on one knee but now he figured he might as well go all out and so, box in hand, he awkwardly lowered himself to the ground before her, Cuddy reaching for him in concern, having immediately assumed he'd lost his balance or tripped over something. It wasn't until he opened the box, moonlight falling upon the ring, that she understood what he was doing.

Gasping, she released him and took a step back, eyes wide with astonishment.

"Lisa Cuddy, would you marry me?" he asked her seriously, intently focused upon her as he awaited her response.

She struggled even to breathe as she gaped at him, swallowing several times as her eyes traveled from his face to the ring he was presenting her with and back again. The corner of House's mouth quirked up, knowing Cuddy hadn't been anywhere close to expecting this, but he remained silent as he waited.

"House, are you sure about this?" Cuddy finally managed to inquire in disbelief, her wide-eyed gaze still flicking between his eyes and the ring in his hand. "Because you don't _have_ to propose to me. I am happy to commit myself to you even without a ring _or_ a wedding. And if there is any doubt in your mind that this is what you want, that you actually _want _to marry me, then…"

"_Cuddy,"_ he interrupted. "You've always been it for me. _Always. _Even when I thought I was all wrong for you and could only bring you misery, even when I believed that it could never work and would therefore never happen. Even then, Cuddy, it was always you. So _yes,_ this is what I want. I _want_ to claim you and I _want_ to make you my wife. The question is: will you have me? And trust me when I say your father would be in full support of you turning me down," he added dryly.

"Oh House," she cried, taking his hand to pull him upright so that she could fall into him without damaging her dress or throwing him off balance, tears actually falling now as her shock had abated.

He huffed but wrapped his arms around her to hold her close, making sure to shut the lid on the jewelry box first so he didn't risk the ring falling out and losing it in the dark, having to spend the next hour then hunting in the leaves for it.

"You haven't actually said yes yet," he contended as she cried against his neck.

Cuddy drew back, swiping her index fingers over each cheek as she tried to stop crying. Moistening her lips then, she nodded her head adamantly before answering, "Yes. Yes, House. I'll marry you. I'll marry you tomorrow if you want me to."

He laughed again but dryly muttered, "I'm pretty sure your dad is going to need more time than that to come around to the idea."

She laughed breathily but then jokingly suggested, "Maybe it would be easier on him if we just eloped and told him after the fact."

House chuckled, especially because he was privy to a conversation between Evelyn and Richard that she knew nothing about regarding that very subject, but then rolled his eyes before quipping sardonically, "And deprive your mother of planning the wedding? She'd never forgive me. And I'm going to need her protection from your dad in the months ahead."

Cuddy laughed but then reached for him with the intention of kissing him.

"Aren't you going to even let me put this rock on your finger?" he asked skeptically before she could reach his lips, eyeing her dubiously.

Her eyes widened and House shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe how much I spent on a ring you so easily forget about," he dryly griped.

She pursed her lips and tucked her head in mild embarrassment but then stepped back so he could do as he wished, extending her slightly tremulous hand when he brought the jewelry box up between them.

She gasped again when he lifted the lid to remove the ring but House just smirked before he casually said, "We can have it sized if it doesn't fit."

She was pretty sure she'd never be willing to part with it though, not even to have it sized. Cuddy stopped breathing as House placed the empty box back in his pocket before reaching for her hand, sliding the ring up her finger a second later.

"Oh House," she breathlessly murmured, lifting her hand to examine it better, the ring a perfect fit. "It's absolutely stunning."

"Yeah, and it's a good thing you're not a real doctor anymore but always administrating," he jibed smugly. "Because from the look on your face you'd be hard-pressed to ever take it off now that it's on."

Cuddy never quite made it to throwing him a dirty look, sucking in a deep breath as she continued admiring the ring before glancing his way in affection, House quite clearly satisfied with her reaction.

"The sapphire accents are an acknowledgement to Evie," he admitted then. "Since I don't think we would have ever… found our way here if not for her."

Cuddy instantly thought back to when he'd explained why he'd chosen to name their child Georgia. "The very best of us combined," she murmured under her breath before throwing her arms up to clasp his shoulders, rocking up on her feet to finally kiss him as she'd meant to five minutes before.

House held her at the waist, drawing her into him as he returned her kiss, their eyes closing, House's grasp upon her tightening as she moaned against his mouth, asking entrance before she deepened the kiss, clutching at him with increasing hunger and desperation.

They kissed until they were both out of breath and then slowly broke apart, their ragged breathing heating each other's neck as they calmed down before reluctantly separating.

"I should get you home," House acknowledged then, recognizing that he'd made it a late night for Cuddy's parents.

She nodded in consent but then reached for his hand, clasping it in her own as he walked her back to the passenger side of the car, opening her door for her so that she could climb within. Cuddy hesitated briefly though and then used her continued hold on his hand to draw him down slightly so she could more chastely kiss him, smiling against his lips before she reluctantly released him and got in the car.

House smiled to himself as he rounded the car before climbing in, Cuddy having turned the music down but not off and having clearly hit the back button to return to the first song that had played so as to listen to them all over again. He buckled his seatbelt and then rolled up the windows before turning the key to start the engine.

Cuddy reached up to turn on the light on her side and then crossed her right hand over her body to clasp House's loosely on the console, making him laugh at how she still wanted to hold his hand but was reluctant to give him the hand with the engagement ring on it.

She grinned at him before trying to subdue it somewhat by biting her lip and then she raised her left hand to admire the ring in the light, making it sparkle as he pulled out of the parking lot. Reluctantly she turned the light off when they were back on the street so he could see the road better and without distraction but she continued to stare at it all the same, the whole way home. House said nothing, though he did laugh to himself at her behavior, Cuddy not paying any attention to his amusement.

"I guess I don't have to worry about you not liking it," he quipped as he pulled in the driveway.

She smiled but didn't reply except to sigh contentedly.

"Will you at least give me a thirty second head start to lock myself in my room before you tell your parents?" he wryly inquired.

"Not on your life," she murmured back, throwing him a bright smile.

"That might be exactly the price you'll pay by not letting me escape," he muttered in acknowledgement, his face reflecting his wry distaste for what was to come.

Cuddy laughed and then turned towards him, bringing her right hand from where it had been covering his, up to cup his far cheek, pressing her lips to his scruff once, twice, thrice, before sitting back in her seat to wait for him to pull into the garage, beaming at him. "I'll protect you, House," she promised.

"_Oh boy,"_ he mumbled dryly under his breath as he parked before shutting off the ignition.

Cuddy waited for him to get out and come around the car to open her door for her, quite impressed with his chivalry tonight. As he helped her out of the car she couldn't help teasing almost regretfully, "You've been much better behaved tonight than I'd ever expected you to be capable of with me in this dress. I'm beginning to think I made a mistake somehow in choosing it. All this open invitation and you never once took advantage of it."

"Not true," he countered grumpily. "I tried at the symphony. You pushed my hand away."

She laughed but then shook her head, not counting that as a genuine attempt. "Doesn't count because you were just trying to provoke a reaction and never meant to follow through," she disagreed.

House snorted but mumbled, "Maybe because I already knew I was in _enough _trouble with your dad without getting us kicked out of the symphony and arrested for indecent exposure."

She laughed but took his hand as she walked with him to the door to head inside, House reaching out to shut the garage door behind them.

Evelyn was practically at the door waiting for them by the time they entered and House groaned when the very first thing she did was glance at Cuddy's hand before squealing excitedly.

Cuddy looked back at him a second before her mom wrapped her arms around her, clearly thrown because she hadn't even gotten a chance to flash the ring at her or anything.

"Congratulations, honey!" Evelyn happily declared, releasing her only to lean back enough to kiss her cheek before she hugged her again.

"Mom…" Cuddy tried to say, working towards asking her mother how she'd known so quickly after they'd come in, but Evelyn was already releasing her to throw her arms around House this time, pressing an enthusiastic kiss to his cheek as well.

"I want to know all the details!" Evelyn exclaimed even as Richard came into the room, his hands in his pockets, lips pursed as if he'd been sucking on a lemon.

"Hey dad," Cuddy murmured in greeting, much more subdued than her mother was in greeting them. Lifting her hand, she bit her lip as she showed him the ring on her finger.

He nodded but it took him a few more seconds before he was able to say rather seriously, "Congratulations sweetheart."

Her forehead wrinkled as she considered his reaction and then her mother's before she hesitantly said, "You both are acting like you already knew this was coming."

"Greg talked to your father today," Evelyn confessed joyfully. "He came by the house to get his permission."

Cuddy whipped around to stare at him in bewilderment. "You what?" she asked disbelievingly.

House rolled his eyes but then shrugged one shoulder resignedly.

She narrowed her eyes at him and muttered, "You told me you went over to ask my mom to babysit for us."

"And I did," he argued pointedly.

"But he also asked your father for your hand in marriage and your father agreed," Evelyn interjected, smiling brightly at _everyone._

Cuddy turned to look at her dad, wide-eyed once more.

"Not like I had much choice," Richard grumbled. "You'd have married him anyway."

House coughed to cover for a laugh and both Richard and Cuddy shot him a look, though their looks conveyed different things.

"Oh Richard," Evelyn mildly rebuked, shaking her head at him before she smiled once more and said, "The point is he did agree, even shook Greg's hand."

Cuddy laughed and Evelyn turned to head down the hallway. "I'm just going to get my camera so I can take a picture of the happily engaged couple for posterity," she announced over her shoulder.

House raised an eyebrow, his expression bemused, but he huffed out a breath before turning as well, retreating to the laundry room momentarily to get their camera for Evelyn as well.

"I thought you weren't sure you were going to ask her tonight?" Evelyn asked curiously as she returned to the group just after House had.

"Yeah well I couldn't find a way out of it after seeing the dress she was wearing," House wryly joked. "I figured I'd probably come home to find a shotgun trained on me so… desperate times called for desperate measures."

Cuddy smacked his arm but laughed, even Richard revealing something that bore resemblance to a half-smile.

"Speaking of," Richard dryly muttered. "Lisa, could you _please _go upstairs and change? I'm sure you want me to admire your ring but I can't even look at you, dressed like that."

"_Oh Richard, hush,"_ Evelyn immediately silenced him, motioning for him to be quiet. "She can't go change just yet. We have pictures to take."

Cuddy stole a glance at House and then elbowed him lightly when she found him smirking uncontrollably. "Where would you like us for your photo, mom?" she asked to change the subject.

"Hmm… How about in the living room? There's a nice amount of empty wall space in there to not detract from you two with stuff in the background," Evelyn decided.

Cuddy nodded and then reached for House's hand, tugging him along after her as he drolly followed. Evelyn took several shots with her own camera and then with House's camera before she smiled slyly and suggested, "I think we need a shot of the lovely couple kissing."

House groaned at the same time Richard mumbled, "You've got to be kidding me," and both ladies pursed their mouths to not laugh at how the two men had found themselves on the same page on this one.

"Do we have to?" House grumbled.

"Yes," Evelyn asserted sternly, giving him a look to tell him he better cooperate.

Richard turned away, not wanting to see it and Cuddy laughed before she turned to House and made the first move, reaching to grasp his tux in both hands, hoping her mother would be able to catch the ring as well before she pushed herself off the floor to connect their mouths, trying to keep it tame with her parents present.

House heard the shutter on the camera snap a couple times but even then it was a few seconds before Cuddy released him and returned her heels to the floor.

"_Now would you go change?" _Richard groused.

Evelyn released a disgruntled breath and turned to her husband before scolding, "Richard, Lisa is a grown woman. And her dress is perfectly lovely. I'm sure it's of the latest fashion and considered perfectly acceptable by anyone who _isn't _you."

"She's a grown woman dressed like some… nineteen year old _co-ed_ taking full advantage of being away from home and out from under her parent's thumb," he whined.

"_Dad!" _Cuddy gasped.

"_Richard!"_ Evelyn hissed.

"Well, I'm her _father_ and it's making me uncomfortable," Richard protested, his face set in a scowl.

House looked thoroughly entertained by all of it but wisely kept silent and did his best to not attract attention to himself.

Cuddy sighed dramatically but then murmured with resignation, "Fine dad. I'll go change."

"_Thank you!" _he huffed.

Cuddy made it to the entryway into the living room before she paused, biting her lip before glancing back at House, unsuccessfully trying to restrain a sly smile. She noted he didn't look so pleased himself that she was about to go change and it only made her all the happier. "House," she called sweetly. "Why don't you come with me? I could use some help with the zipper."

"_He's _staying right where he is! Your _mother _can help you," Richard immediately bit out.

"_Richard!" _Evelyn rebuked, smacking him. "What's _wrong_ with you?! They're getting _married!_"

"And I still won't like it then, will I?" Richard grunted. "But I'll have no choice but to hold my tongue because she'll legally be married to him at that point."

Evelyn straightened and shook her head before she muttered wryly, "You should hold your tongue _now. _The practice will do you good."

Cuddy huffed a breath but mumbled, "Never mind," before she headed upstairs by herself.

House was still trying to figure out where the zipper on her dress was located, never having seen one.

Two minutes later Cuddy returned and House looked her way in surprise that she was back so fast but then found himself unable to restrain a chuckle as she'd only thrown a sweater over her dress so that her father wouldn't _see _any of what he'd objected to.

Cuddy shot him a smirk all her own but then tried to turn it into a disapproving look when her father looked at her and frowned, though he remained silent.

Cuddy shook off the situation and held up her ring then. "Isn't it beautiful, dad?" she asked, focusing on charming him first.

Begrudgingly he smiled wryly and nodded, taking her hand to admire it closer.

Evelyn sent a flustered smile House's way in regards to her husband's behavior before she took her turn admiring the ring, exclaiming over it.

House yawned then and Evelyn caught it, immediately saying, "Oh, we should go. You two have to work tomorrow and you must be so exhausted. We should let you go to bed."

"_In separate bedrooms,"_ Richard mumbled, which everyone heard and promptly ignored.

"Thank you so much for babysitting for us, mom. You too, dad. We really appreciate it," Cuddy was quick to voice.

"There's nothing to thank us for," Evelyn dismissed. "We loved every minute of being here with the girls. And even Cookie Monster proved himself well-behaved."

"Thank you anyway, though. We really do love having you both closer and we're truly grateful you're willing to stay with the kids," Cuddy repeated.

Evelyn shot her a pointed look and then instructed, "I still want to hear all about your evening. Call me tomorrow when you have a chance. And call your sister too. I don't want to steal your thunder and tell her by accident."

"I'll call you tomorrow, mom," she promised, nodding her head.

"Congratulations honey," Richard repeated as he hugged her, and Cuddy bit her lip, wondering if he said it to dig himself out of the doghouse with her mother or because he genuinely meant it, but either way, he _had _consented to her marrying House, which… she still couldn't believe House had done – actually asking for permission as if she was just a girl and not a woman twenty plus years out on her own.

"Thanks dad," she sweetly responded, pressing a kiss to his cheek when he drew back, releasing her.

"I meant what I said about separate bedrooms though," he mumbled out of the corner of his mouth before turning away.

She laughed, shaking her head, and reached for her mother so she could hug her as well, kissing her cheek too.

House raised an eyebrow when Richard offered him his hand without comment but took it, shaking it, biting the inside of his cheek to remain serious when Richard tightened his grip upon his hand until Evelyn turned towards them and immediately smacked Richard, her face reflecting her skepticism regarding whether he was actually behaving himself or not.

Richard gave her a look but released his hand and House chuckled when Evelyn once more wrapped her arms around him, squeezing him tightly in affection. "You should give me a call too and tell me all about your date," she urged him then.

He gave her a look but dryly mumbled, "I think I'd prefer to leave the girl-talk to the girls."

She laughed, shaking her head at him before he bent to receive the kiss he knew was coming as if to appease her.

Five minutes later Richard and Evelyn were gone and House and Cuddy were all to themselves.

House turned off the living room light while Cuddy waited for him before he followed her to Evie's room to check in on her. They stood there beside her crib for a minute, watching her sleep, before House turned the baby monitor on.

Cuddy followed him out of the room then, closing the door most of the way before moving to follow House up the stairs to check on Rachel in turn. He watched as Cuddy tucked the blankets tighter around her, smoothing them afterwards and he waited only until she bent to press a kiss to Rachel's forehead before he slipped back into the hallway to wait for her.

"Think she'll be alright up here alone?" he asked when she followed him out of the room, frowning his concern.

She smiled coyly but walked right past him and into her bedroom.

"And just where do you think you are going?" House queried as he narrowed his eyes, following her in after pushing himself off the hallway wall.

"To bed. It's been a long, eventful day and I need my sleep," she casually informed him, opening a drawer to retrieve something to sleep in before quirking an eyebrow and turning around to look at him. "This _is_ my bedroom, right?"

House pursed his lips but then shook his head. "Not anymore."

Cuddy bit back a smile and groaned, feigning incomprehension. "House, are you kicking me out until the wedding?"

"Of my guest room, I am," he told her, pointing to the door as if to say she needed to leave right now.

"But where will I sleep?" she bemoaned teasingly, giving him a puppy dog look as she doubled back into her bathroom to retrieve her toothbrush and face wash. She'd _assumed _they would now have a new bedroom arrangement but she'd still wanted to have that confirmed by House. Settling it playfully worked just fine for her. Then neither of them had to bring the subject up.

"I'm glad you asked," House replied smugly, taking her hand to pull her out into the hallway and then down the stairs, limping with her in the direction of his bedroom, his fingers laced with hers and evoking a sweet smile to her lips. "But you really don't need those," he informed her, motioning at the clothes she had clutched to her chest. "It's nice and warm where you'll be staying."

She laughed but stepped into the room ahead of him as instructed and House shut the door behind them before checking to make sure the baby monitor was on.

"Don't you need to take Cookie Monster out and set the alarm?" she reminded when she thought of it, giving him an enquiring look.

He sighed, his mouth pursing, but nodded and headed back out of the room to do just that.

She watched him go but sighed herself before finally moving to enter House's bathroom so she could brush her teeth and remove her makeup, taking her hair down while she was at it.

She came back out just as House entered to brush his teeth and she smiled up at him before stepping back so he could pass her. Then she stood uncertainly by the bed, waiting for him to come out before she opted to take her sweater off and have that done with.

House came out of the bathroom and threw his tuxedo jacket over a chair before unbuttoning his cufflinks. But Cuddy reached out to stop him before he could undo anything else.

"Let me," she murmured, reaching to undo his bowtie, then slowly unbuttoning his shirt, her eyes watching her hands and the ring that flashed from her left one as they worked their way down his chest before she gave his shirt a tug to pull his shirttails free from his pants, helping him remove his shirt as well.

House watched her the whole time in amusement as her tongue poked out from between her lips while she concentrated on her self-assigned task. His smirk only grew when she ran her hands over his t-shirt clad chest, smoothing them along until she tugged it too free from his pants, pulling it over his head a second later. It was hard enough to consider going to bed now without the added tease.

"Don't you need help with a zipper?" he asked skeptically then, convinced now that there _was _no zipper.

She smiled, biting her lip before acknowledging, "I made the zipper thing up."

He snorted but he'd already figured that out on his own. "How _can _I help you?" he asked playfully while fingering the cut of her dress, deciding he might as well tease both of them, a finger just barely breaking contact with the dress to brush against the side of her breast and slip under the dress slightly to trace the underside of it before he returned to where her dress and skin met, continuing down and then back up, repeating what he'd done a moment ago on the opposite side before once more returning to the top. He debated about just going for it and slipping his hand within her dress to squeeze and tease her but was sort of reluctant to because he _really _wanted to see her in this dress again and didn't want to risk stretching the fabric out to accommodate his hand and allow him to grope her.

Cuddy drew a shaky breath but then just murmured, "Take it off me House."

He smiled at her, nodding before he placed his hands upon her thighs to start folding the dress up little by little until the hem reached where his hands were. Slipping his hands under, he used the space between his thumb and index finger to contain the fabric of her dress while he slid his hands further up her thighs, his eyes widening to find she had no underwear on.

"Panty lines," she explained softly, amused by his expression.

He swallowed hard but then continued to lift the dress and Cuddy raised her arms up so that he could more easily remove it.

She smiled when he carefully freed her from it completely and then shook her head at him disapprovingly when he tossed her dress aside to free his hands, it at least landing on a chair, though she'd fully expected him to do just that.

She stood before him, naked but for her heels which still required removing, and House sucked in a breath as he caressed her with his gaze before his hands came up between them to cup her breasts, kneading them attentively, knowing he was just punishing himself now but not really minding as having his body react to her was yet new and exciting. And he liked trying it out, testing the waters.

Cuddy sucked in a breath, her hands finding their way to his shoulders before her head fell back of its own accord, her eyes fluttering shut. She released a shaky breath when she felt his scruff meet her collarbone and realized he'd lowered his head as he alternated between kissing her, licking her and nipping at her flesh in turn as he focused his attention on her neck, collarbone and clavicle.

Her hands slid back over his shoulders and then smoothed down his warm back before she brought them around to blindly undo his pants, hoping if she just undid them they'd fall down on their own, hardly able to concentrate enough as it was on unfastening his pants.

She moaned when they did fall down and House stepped out of them, having removed his shoes and socks after coming back inside with the dog.

House straightened before reluctantly releasing his hold upon her breasts, sliding his hands to her sides before he brought her against him, enjoying a moment of full bodily contact while one hand found its way up her back to cup the back of her head, raising it up enough to bring her lips to his own even while Cuddy tried to get over the sudden realization that he'd gone commando as well, her hands freezing, not knowing where to touch first, pressing her body all the closer though so that she might better feel every part of him, her hands finally settling on his back to start with. He kissed her thoroughly, allowing her tongue access when she made her unspoken request before he took his turn.

Grudgingly he broke the kiss after a long moment, releasing her only when he was sure she had her balance.

By the time Cuddy opened her eyes to find out where he'd gone, House was opening a drawer, rummaging around in it before he pulled out what he intended to wear to bed.

She was momentarily caught up in his naked backside but then stared at him in confusion as he pulled his boxers on and a t-shirt over his head.

"What just happened?" she finally murmured, lost as to why they'd stopped.

He looked at her and his expression wavered, since not looking at her body would be asking the impossible, before he focused on her face and frowned his own confusion. "Well, if I'd have taken things any further, I wouldn't have been able to stop," he explained hesitantly.

"I… What?" she settled on asking, shaking her head as if it would clear away her confusion.

He looked equally perplexed. "You said yourself that you need your sleep. It's been a 'long, eventful day,'" he quoted. "Besides, you're sore still. Cuddy, it's not like I suddenly get my sex drive back and have no control whatsoever. I know we joked about tonight being my effort to seduce you and get you back in bed but… I do get that neither one of us got much sleep last night, we both have to work tomorrow and… you might not be up for anything anyway just yet."

Cuddy shook her head in disbelief before she said, "House, I was in the middle of _un_dressing you for a reason. I'm pretty sure the last thing on my mind was going to sleep anytime soon."

"So… you want to get creative or you're _not _sore?" he asked for clarification after a second, his brows wrinkled doubtfully. "Because Cuddy, I don't want to hurt you."

She smiled then, biting her lip in amusement only a second before she matter-of-factly replied, "_This morning_ I was sore. Now I'm not. Though I certainly have no objection to getting _creative_ either."

He quirked an eyebrow but then mumbled, "Okay," before reaching for the hem of the t-shirt he'd just put on to remove it again, not _stupid_, and definitely not about to turn down an offer he had no desire to refuse.

Cuddy watched him, grinning, but then he turned to toss his shirt on top of his bureau and she caught sight of his back.

"Oh House!" she exclaimed, causing him to turn around to look at her blankly again.

"What's wrong?" he asked, turning back to look behind him, trying to figure out what she might be upset about, searching for a large spider or another insect of some sort.

But she approached him silently, her face reflecting her horror before she turned him fully away from her and traced her fingers over his back, gently probing his skin, a deep frown on her face. "Look what I _did_ to you!" she murmured, clearly distressed.

House looked puzzled for a moment, but ultimately turned his back to the mirror to figure out what all the fuss was about, looking in it from over his shoulder to see what she was talking about. Catching on finally, he laughed. "They're just scratches," he said, amused by her reaction to her handiwork of the night before.

"But some of them look _deep!_ Like I drew _blood!_" she continued, worrying her lip between her teeth.

He wondered briefly if she realized he could barely concentrate on what she was saying when she was standing before him, completely naked and _still _in her high heels. "Cuddy, I'll _live_," he managed to gather his wits enough to say, focusing his attention upon her expression. "I hardly knew they were there. And frankly, once again I'll remind you that you yourself walked away from last night a little worse for the wear," he told her, looking at her pointedly despite his face reflecting that he was, in contrast, admittedly pleased with himself about that particular fact.

She sighed but nodded, still frowning in concentration at what she'd done without even being aware of doing it, the last thing she wanted to do being to cause him yet more pain.

"Besides," he added teasingly. "After our second and third round your grip on me eased considerably and pain was practically nonexistent. It was _certainly _nothing in light of all the endorphins being released."

Cuddy gave him a look but it wasn't half as dirty as she intended it to be, still fretting over having left her marks on him their first night together.

"Now are you going to take those heels off or wear them all night? Because as much as I like you having them on, while _naked _especially, I'm pretty sure those heels will do more damage to my back than your nails did, considering what I'm now planning to do to you," he quipped dryly.

She looked at him a moment and then her expression fell and she turned away, moving towards the far side of the bed and taking her pajamas with her to clutch to her chest. House stared at her in confusion, totally lost as to what was going on. "What's wrong?" he reluctantly asked.

"If you don't want to tonight, we don't have to," she quietly replied, sniffing as if she was on the verge of tears.

He shook his head, not comprehending what had just happened. _"What?"_ he queried, feeling particularly dimwitted now, wondering just how much exactly her nudity was affecting his brain cells.

Her hand came up and he could just make out her fingers frantically trying to wipe away tears. He stared at her and then slowly walked over, sinking down on the bed next to her. "Cuddy, I have absolutely _no_ idea what I just did to upset you," he admitted quietly.

"House," she began, unwilling to meet his eyes and sniffing again. "I… I didn't mean to pressure you just now."

He blew out a breath before shaking his head once more. "Cuddy, I honestly have no clue what you are talking about. You haven't done _anything_."

She turned her head his way, looking morose. "Sorry," she whispered, not really hearing what he had said. "Maybe… I'm moving too fast. I know things just changed last night and… and you proposed tonight but… I guess with the banter between us today and… when you made it clear that I was welcome to sleep with you in your room from now on, I just thought…" she broke off, biting her lip to keep from crying, already feeling foolish enough.

"You thought what?" House prompted, totally bewildered.

"I thought you _wanted_ to make love to me again," she murmured, glancing away then.

House frowned, trying to piece things together. After a moment he brushed her hair away from her face and somberly said, "Cuddy, I _do_ want to make love to you. I just didn't want to hurt you if you needed more time to recover. It isn't exactly as if we took things _easy_ last night. And last night was the first time you'd had sex since giving birth. On top of that, we slept on the whole, _maybe _three hours. I really did just assume you'd want to get some sleep. That you _need _some sleep. I'm more than ready to make love to you though, if that's what you want and you feel physically up to it. Didn't I just say that?"

Cuddy stared at him a long moment but then nodded slowly, beginning to feel foolish for her breakdown.

"Why did my mother think you weren't planning to propose tonight?" she thought to ask a moment later.

House was surprised by the question but he shrugged and wryly replied, "You think _you're_ rushing things by wanting to have sex again so soon after last night? Try this. I take you out on our first date and pop the question. I don't know. I kind of thought I… was depriving you of being properly _wooed _or something."

Cuddy released the breath she was holding and then looked at him with affection. "Second date," she corrected with a soft smile.

House rolled his eyes but admitted, "I wasn't sure if I was taking things too fast now. But then it just seemed… fitting. And I didn't want to waste any more time when I knew what I wanted was to have my ring on your finger," he mumbled in further explanation.

She smiled tremulously before reaching for him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she buried her face in his shoulder, her pajamas trapped between them and annoying House somewhat as he just wanted to return to the skin-on-skin contact they'd had before. "Sorry. I guess I'm just freaking out a little because I'm… scared of messing up again."

He stroked her back, tracing circles on her skin as he considered what she'd said. "Are you using me for sex again?" he asked quietly after a moment.

Cuddy instantly drew back, staring at him in horror. "_No!_" she exclaimed immediately. "_Of course not!_"

"If you could, would you exchange me for Lucas? Would you replace the ring I put on your finger with one from another guy?" he asked next, his expression serious and probing.

She shook her head dramatically. "No, House! _Never!_ I want _you!_ I've _always_ wanted you! I was just too dumb to realize that. Dumb and… _scared_."

He tilted his head, exhaling before questioning, "Then what do _I_ have to do to make you believe that I'm moving on and that I want to do that _with you_, Cuddy? What do I have to do to make you believe that _I_ want _you?_ All of you? _Including _your body? When will you believe me?"

She sighed and returned to his arms, tears falling once more and wetting his chest. He just wrapped his arms around her, allowing her time to think it through, figuring she must need to work through this since it had come up.

"I believe you, House," she finally murmured. "I believe you want to move forward and that you want me to move forward with you. Otherwise last night wouldn't have happened. And you certainly wouldn't have proposed tonight. There's… nothing you have to do – nothing I _want_ you to do – to make me believe you. Maybe it's just that I don't quite trust myself to not mess things up somehow and… lose you forever. It's not you I don't trust. It's _me. _This is a _big_ change for us, an opportunity to get things _right _this time and… I'm afraid I might blow it."

"We're _both_ going to screw up, Cuddy," he told her rationally then. "We'd be _idiots_ to not know that by now. But we'd be even more stupid if we allowed that to get in our way when we've come so far and overcome so much."

House reached for her face, tilting her chin up until her eyes met his. "I _meant_ what I said last night Cuddy. I'm not looking back. And I'm not going to let you mess this up irrevocably because I'm not going to let you walk out the door. I'm committed. I'm marrying you. I'm _in this_ for the long haul. And if you can't trust yourself yet, then trust me. Because if you mess up or I mess up and you want to call it quits, I swear I will chase you down, even if you've holed yourself up somewhere with your dad guarding the door to keep me away, and drag you back here like a _caveman_ to work things out. I can't afford to run anymore, Cuddy. Nor do I want to."

She gave him a wobbly smile, her eyes staring deep into his. And then her glance went down to his lips and she licked her own unconsciously. House followed her lead, his attention focusing on how her tongue traced her lips, and then he leaned in until their lips met, eyes closing, both of them giving themselves to the kiss and to each other once again.

* * *

"_**When I look into your eyes  
It's like watching the night sky  
Or a beautiful sunrise  
Well there's so much they hold  
And just like them old stars  
I see that you've come so far  
To be right where you are  
How old is your soul?**_

**_Well I won't give up on us_**  
**_Even if the skies get rough_**  
**_I'm giving you all my love_**  
**_I'm still looking up_**

**_And when you're needing your space_**  
**_To do some navigating_**  
**_I'll be here patiently waiting_**  
**_To see what you find_**

**_'Cause even the stars they burn_**  
**_Some even fall to the earth_**  
**_We've got a lot to learn_**  
**_God knows we're worth it_**  
**_No, I won't give up_**

**_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily_**  
**_I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make_**  
**_Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use_**  
**_The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake_**  
**_And in the end you're still my friend at least we did intend_**  
**_For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn_**  
**_We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in_**  
**_I had to learn what I've got and what I'm not and who I am_**

**_I won't give up on us_**  
**_Even if the skies get rough_**  
**_I'm giving you all my love_**  
**_I'm still looking up, still looking up_**

**_Well I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)_**  
**_God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)_**  
**_We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)_**  
**_God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)_**

**_I won't give up on us_**  
**_Even if the skies get rough_**  
**_I'm giving you all my love_**  
**_I'm still looking up"_**

* * *

Song: "I Won't Give Up" (Jason Mraz)


	118. Can't Stop

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

October 10th, 2011

Cuddy woke up to House pressing kisses along her shoulder, working his way up to her neck as he spooned her in the bed. She moaned but then slowly moved to face him, House rising somewhat to allow her onto her back beside him before he moved in slightly, a hand on the bed bracing him as he hovered over her.

"Morning," he said gruffly then, sounding gritty with sleep still.

She wrapped an arm around his neck and stretched against him, House groaning at the contact and quickly thinking about heating things up.

She laughed at his expression and wrapped her thigh around his leg to press him even closer to her as he looked down at her, running his eyes along what he could see of her before his own body blocked out his view.

He smirked and her forehead wrinkled in response. "What?" she finally prompted.

"You're going to have to wear something with a collar today," he smugly announced then, eyeing the hickey he'd left on her collarbone the night before. "You're lucky that I didn't mark you Saturday night in more obvious places though."

"You mean _you're _lucky. Otherwise I wouldn't have been able to wear that dress yesterday," she corrected, sighing as she reached up to tiredly touch her face, guessing she should probably get after him but lacking the inclination to do so.

"Maybe we should call in sick today," he said then.

She stared at him but narrowed her eyes before suspiciously asking, "Because you want to avoid Cameron and want me to not run into Wilson just yet, or anyone else for that matter?"

He laughed but shook his head. "Cameron and Wilson already know," he informed her.

She tossed her head against the pillow in confusion but asked dubiously, _"How? _House, we just got engaged last night. When have you had time to tell them?"

He shook his head again. "They don't _know," _he corrected. "But they'll suspect it."

"Why?" she prompted, remaining skeptical.

Figuring he might as well tell her, he acknowledged, "I met them for coffee yesterday after getting the tickets and picking up the ring from the jeweler's. I thought I'd give them an opportunity to try and talk sense into me."

"Did you _want _them to talk some sense into you?" she probed, biting her lip now.

House shook his head dismissively. "Cuddy, I wasn't going to change my mind. I just… figured I'd give them a heads up and see how they'd react to the idea."

Cuddy swallowed but inquired uncertainly at length, "And?"

He shrugged a shoulder. "They're fine with it," he stated simply.

Cuddy scrutinized him a second longer but House returned to what he'd been suggesting. "So…?"

"So… what?" she asked in confusion.

"Are we going to take the day off?" he reminded.

"Oh House, I'd like to but I can't. I have a follow-up meeting with some board members to discuss some things that came up at our last quarterly meeting," she explained apologetically.

He pouted but nodded in acceptance. "Anything interesting?" he inquired then, wondering if they'd made mention of what had gone down in the previous quarterly board meeting, Cuddy not having said anything about it before now.

She pursed her lips but wasn't sure she wanted to mention just yet what _had _come up at the board meeting. Choosing to wait for now she shook her head. "It's mostly in regards to PPTH's next annual fundraiser. It's coming up in December."

House's eyebrow quirked with interest. "Are you going with anyone I know?" he asked nonchalantly.

Cuddy bit her lip, surprised to detect interest in his expression. "Well, there's this guy," she reluctantly confided rather shyly, the fingers of her hand still around his neck trickling through the hair at his nape. "I was kind of hoping _he'd _take me. But… I haven't quite gotten up the courage to ask him yet. I'm afraid he might turn me down."

House pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Well, I bet if you promised to wear the dress you did last night he wouldn't be able to turn you down."

"Yeah?" she asked hopefully.

"I'm reasonably confident," he hedged with a nod.

She smiled then before sobering to draw him down to her, her eyes fluttering closed as she indulged in a kiss.

"I'm going to go into work late," House mumbled against her lips as they parted.

She laughed but said regrettably, "My meeting's right at nine."

He shook his head and then his mouth quirked in a half smile. "That's not why," he clarified. "I want to go in to PPTH with you."

"You do?" she asked in surprise, not having seen that coming.

"Just to be there when you show Wilson the ring," he explained, his mouth twisting up. "I want to see his reaction when he realizes I actually did it."

Cuddy laughed at him but nodded her agreement to the idea.

"I still can't believe you asked my dad for permission," she murmured laughingly then.

"Yeah," he griped, his eyes now narrowing and smile evaporating. "Because Wilson said if I didn't I'd be giving the girls license to marry without _my _permission."

Cuddy laughed and shook her head at him in amusement, still grinning. "Well, you didn't have to but… _thank you_ for doing that. I'm sure my dad secretly appreciated it."

"I wouldn't be so sure," he retorted before glancing at the clock resignedly, figuring they better get up.

Cuddy pouted but regretfully left the bed when he motioned her out of it.

"I think we have just enough time for a joint shower before the girls wake up," House suggestively pronounced as he followed her towards the bathroom.

"Yeah right," she replied sarcastically with a look at him from over her shoulder, but she made no protest when he leaned into the shower to turn on the water, adjusting the temperature for them.

Satisfied, House turned to her, his hands finding her waist before he steered her within, Cuddy biting her lip but smiling as he followed her, capturing her mouth when he had her pressed up against a wall, exactly where he wanted her.

* * *

House and Cuddy drove separately to PPTH, the girls with him in his car since he'd placed their car seats back in his car to save him the trouble later on. He was grateful to not be in Cuddy's car though, knowing she'd intended to call her mother on the way and he didn't particularly want to overhear _that _conversation. He rolled his eyes, thinking women became even sillier creatures when it came to marriage proposals. Though honestly, he had every intention of strutting his stuff at the ol' workplace, letting everyone know that the unruly employee had won the prize in the end. At some point anyway. He figured Cuddy knew as much. He even bet she'd call him on it. But he thought it would be interesting all the same to see how much she'd allow him to get away with before she attempted to reign him in.

House parked and waited beside Cuddy's vehicle a moment later, rolling his eyes when she looked up to find him standing there with both girls, wryly acknowledging that she knew he was waiting for her and she'd hurry it up. When she hung up a moment later she opened her door, laughing at his expression before relieving him of a sleeping Evie. "Oh, _deal with it_, House," she muttered dryly.

He quirked his lips in amusement but walked with her towards the hospital.

"_Don't_ embarrass me," she murmured as he reached to open the door for her.

He raised an eyebrow, giving her a pointed look and she huffed out a breath before amending, "_Alright_, don't embarrass me _too_ much."

He smiled but then took her hand, carefully covering the ring with his fingers, Rachel holding his other hand.

She looked at him questioningly but he shook his head. "Wait it out. I want Wilson to see it first before the hospital freaks at the news. I'll sacrifice my reputation to the extent of holding your hand here to accomplish that much."

Cuddy shook her head ever so slightly in amusement before looking up and blushing at the number of people who were staring at their entwined hands as they entered together.

House laughed when they'd barely passed by before the whispering began behind them. Pushing the button for the elevator, he turned to her, chagrined. "Maybe it's a good thing I don't work here anymore."

She looked at him, tilting her head to the side before deciding to feel him out, admitting, "The Board has asked me to speak with you and see if there isn't some way I could convince you to come back."

He stared at her in surprise before his eyebrows knitted and he dubiously repeated, "They want to hire me back? After _everything?_"

She nodded, somewhat amused but mostly affected by his reaction. "Contributions have gone down since you've left," Cuddy divulged. "They think you'll bring donors back. And we aren't getting as much attention from the press either, without the rich and famous coming here to seek you out."

House mulled the idea over as the elevator doors opened and it emptied, giving them the space all to themselves. He waited until it started on its way up before reaching forward and pushing the emergency stop button.

"House!" Cuddy exclaimed as it jerked to a halt. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm arranging a business meeting between PPTH's Dean of Medicine and the world renowned Dr. Gregory House," he declared in annoyance, as if it should have been all too obvious to her.

She rolled her eyes. "Can't this wait?"

He shook his head, smirking now. "Are they willing to make some concessions?"

She laughed and her head fell back as she realized he was strategizing, secretly thrilled with the fact that he was even open to the idea. She'd certainly never thought he'd consider it seriously so soon after her mentioning it. "I think they are," she hesitantly confessed. "What would you request?"

He sobered then before glancing to the girls and admitting, "I'd want Rachel and Evie close. The daycare thing was one of the selling points that grabbed my attention at Riverside East."

She nodded thoughtfully. "I think we could work something out. The University has a daycare and that's one option. But they might be willing to add a daycare to the hospital if I can convince them it would be a selling point for attracting quality doctors to our facility. My mom would be a little disappointed though. She's hoping to talk you into allowing _her_ to take the girls while we work," Cuddy confessed.

House moved his head from side to side before acknowledging, "I guess we could discuss that option too."

"What else?" she inquired with a smile, urging him to continue entertaining this idea.

"I can afford to be a little more flexible with my hours when I have special cases but I'd still like to have somewhat regular hours," House continued, then adding, "And I'd want my team back. Though maybe not Foreman. He might have outgrown his usefulness to me and be better off where you have him now. I'm not sure there's much more I can teach him anyway."

"What about Cameron?" she asked next, curious.

He shrugged but nodded. "If she _wants_ to come back. But she might want to stay at RE. She's been happy there."

Cuddy nodded in acceptance of whatever would be decided. "Okay. What else?"

"Can I get out of clinic hours?" he asked hopefully, his eyebrows going up and down.

"Nice try," she quipped, shaking her head in the negative. "That's not negotiable. Though it might _save_ the hospital money if we _could _agree to that, given the number of lawsuits that have originated there when it came to you. But policy states that _no one_ is exempt from clinic duty. So… try again."

"It'd be nice if they'd follow RE's lead and start up a partnership with a nearby gym," he mumbled with a shrug. "But either way, I'd be able to figure something out."

Cuddy bit her lip, glancing down at his chest as she murmured, "I've actually been thinking about that... ever since Saturday after seeing you just out of the shower. I already have it on my list of ideas I'd like to bring up at the next board meeting since I've um... seen the benefits of such a program firsthand."

He pulled her towards him and she hesitantly allowed him to draw her in, only then realizing that he hadn't released her hand during the whole time they'd been in the elevator alone together. Smiling, she permitted him to pull her flush up against him, stifling a moan when his free hand fell to her derriere and pulled her even closer.

House smirked, caressing her.

"House, the girls," Cuddy rebuked quietly, glancing towards Rachel who was holding her baby G and playing with her but still glanced their way every few seconds, not understanding why the elevator wasn't going anywhere but not concerned about it either.

He reluctantly stopped but didn't drop his hand, instead bringing his mouth to her ear to quietly state, "I want a clause on my contract that allows me to have sex with my wife on hospital grounds, whenever the mood strikes me."

She scoffed and leaned away, glancing at Evie who remained asleep on her shoulder before she returned her gaze to him. "_First of all_, I would NEVER allow that to be written into a legal contract, even if you could convince the Board to go with it, which you'd never be able to. And _secondly_, you'd have to convince _your wife_ to agree to that, and I can tell you right now your chances of doing so are on the _low end_ of the scale."

House noticed she hadn't tried to place any real distance between them, even now straightening back up and towards him and when he patted her butt with affection, her breathing changing just enough to make it clear to him that she wasn't unaffected, nor indisposed to being touched exactly, though she clearly wanted him to remember it couldn't go anywhere with the girls present.

He smiled, his hand leaving her backside to creep up her side and trace just with his thumb the outer cup of her bra. "But you didn't say there was _no chance_ of that happening," he pointed out. "Being on the low end of the scale still testifies to there being a _distinct possibility_ of things going in my favor."

Cuddy forced herself to move away from him, albeit reluctantly. "If you call slim odds a distinct possibility," she threw back at him.

He had allowed her to pull back, but his hand remained where it was as he sidestepped to block out Rachel's line of vision all the more before his hand shifted slightly, allowing his thumb to stretch out and trace circles over where he knew her nipple to be, quickly evoking a reaction. "I'm nothing if not a man who knows how to be successful when the odds are against him," he taunted, eyeing her hungrily.

Cuddy closed her eyes, trying to gain control of herself before things went any further in the elevator, kicking herself for knowing she should have already put a stop to this and all the same, not having done so. She finally pulled her hand from his and reached up, locking her fingers around his wrist to remove his hand from her entirely, clutching it in hers a moment before she released it and tightened her hold on Evie as she darted around him to hurriedly hit the button, starting the elevator back up. "We'll discuss this at home," she told him with finality, hoping he'd miss the slight tremble in her voice as she readjusted the baby in her arms.

He smiled, knowing that even if she hadn't said it verbally her body had just betrayed her and announced its willingness, perhaps even _eagerness,_ to mess around on hospital grounds. He knew he needed more time to think about this and really consider what it would mean to leave RE and return to PPTH, but just having the option presented to him had piqued his interest.

Before the elevator could open he turned to pick Rachel up and then returned to Cuddy's side, taking her hand to cover her ring once more with his fingers.

She shook her head, though inside she was relieved he'd dropped his… seduction. "We're practically there," she told him, not seeing his move as necessary.

House gave her a pointed look. "After the last ten minutes we spent in the elevator, we're probably less safe from detection than we were in the hospital lobby. I bet people are already talking about what we were doing holed up in here," he added, enjoying how color immediately flooded her cheeks. "You'll notice no one bothered to phone and check in on us to see if we were alright or if maintenance was needed to get the elevator back up and running."

"The _girls_ were with us," she said in annoyance, giving him a dirty look as if their very presence would convince people nothing of interest was taking place within.

"Even so," he argued with a tilt of his head as the elevator doors opened, people staring their way with interest.

"I'm going to _kill_ you," she muttered, dragging him towards Wilson's office then.

"Oh, now honey, let's wait until after the wedding to resort to violence," he quipped under his breath. "It's better to be a widow than to have people believing you're an old maid because nobody would _have_ you."

She clenched her teeth, her nails digging into the palm of his hand.

"Abuse, abuse," he whispered in gleeful undertones, loving how easy it was to get under her skin at times.

"You better shut up or I'm moving back into the guest bedroom," she grumpily told him then.

He shot her a mock glare but muttered dryly, "You're just irritated because now you're worried if I _do _come back, you'll let me get away with too much."

"Like that would be any different from before," she retorted wryly.

"But it would be," he admitted seriously, stopping abruptly to pull her into an empty office nearby.

She went with him reluctantly but looked up at him, biting her lip.

"You'd be married to me. And you'd feel like I was putting you in a bad position," House stated honestly, not caring that people were still milling about right outside where he'd forced her to a stop, glancing their way as they passed.

"House," she entreated softly.

"I can say no," he pressed on. "And you can tell the Board that you're sorry but I'm happy at RE and not interested in returning here. You can tell them exactly what you're thinking. You can remind them that it's better this way because now that we're in a relationship, now that we're getting _married, _the situation would be too complicated and it wouldn't be wise for you to be in a position requiring you to control my behavior when it would undoubtedly create problems all around. You can convince them that no one else would want to be forced into a position of overseeing me either. Come on Cuddy, it shouldn't come as a big surprise to you that the idea thrilled you with its possibility while still in theory but now that you know I might actually prove willing to entertain it, you're worried about whether it could even work."

Cuddy glanced at Rachel who was looking back and forth between them before she returned her eyes to him, frowning, not liking this turn in the conversation at all. "But House, the thing is if I can have you back and you _want _to come back, it really doesn't matter how logical an argument I'm presented with to _not _hire you back because the truth will always remain that I _want _you back. I want you here. I want you _with me._"

He rolled his eyes but the corner of his mouth quirked up at her pronouncement. "You have me Cuddy. And whether or not I work here, you'd still have me. You'd have me at home. You'd have me on the weekends. You'd have me whenever you weren't _here,_" he contended before quipping more lightly, "And eventually we'll both retire and then you'll have me so much you'll be sick of me."

"But maybe that's not enough," she whined slightly, ignoring his jest. "Maybe if I can have more, I don't want to settle for less."

"Sometimes less _is _more," he muttered dryly.

She moistened her lips but then stated, "You know what they'd say? They'd say that they've been following you at RE and from what they can tell, you've mellowed. They'll say you no longer challenge authority or break every rule known to man so why would that change in you returning here?"

"Okay, that's complete crap, Cuddy," House cut her off to negate, giving her a pointed look. "I don't think they'd really believe that. They've got to know that if I returned, there's a very real possibility that I would revert to old habits."

Cuddy frowned, looking away before she returned her eyes to him. "But… maybe it wouldn't be like before, House. Maybe you _wouldn't _revert to old habits. Or maybe you would but we could still make it _work_," she suggested softly.

He huffed out a breath but then mumbled, "It's not that we can't. I… _am _capable of toeing the line. I'm just… not sure I'd _want_ to. I _liked _driving you crazy. And… it's not like it is at RE. It wouldn't be starting over with a clean slate. There's history here and… instinct. I'm not sure how much I want to fight against what would just come naturally to me in returning."

"Well," Cuddy murmured, considering him before she worried her lip and then moistened it to continue, slipping her hand from his own to trace it up and down the center of his chest. "What if you could _still _drive me crazy at times, but _chose _to never take it _too _far all on your own, since you'd know there would be no _S-E-X_ if you made things too difficult for me? You'd already know anyway that if you generated too much paperwork for me, it would mean less time for me to be home with you and the kids, and you wouldn't want that, right?"

House smiled for the first time since they'd exited the elevator practically, chuckling under his breath at her conniving ways. "I like how you're already thinking about withholding S-E-X so soon after we finally start having it. That sounds just like something the old Cuddy I knew here would say. But how about we just… take some time to think about it before making any decisions?" he wryly stated before she could think too much about how she'd just teased him and second-guess having done so.

She reached up to cup Rachel's face with affection, the little girl having been so very patient throughout this whole thing, and then leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss House chastely in agreement. "Okay," she agreed in a whisper before she returned to the ground and took his hand once more.

House looked at Rachel and rolled his eyes at her, getting her to giggle, before he followed Cuddy from the office they'd entered, continuing towards Wilson's.

"Do you remember what you're going to tell Uncle Wilson?" he asked Rachel on the way.

She smiled goofily and nodded while Cuddy shot a dubious look at the two of them without comment. Rachel had admired her ring that morning, telling them both how pretty it was but she didn't really understand what it meant, even while she'd been animated in her enthusiasm at hearing her mommy was going to buy her a very pretty, special dress to wear so she could be a flower girl along with Evie and walk down the aisle just before mommy did.

House reached for the doorknob once they were standing before Wilson's office and turned it, not bothering to knock.

Cuddy gave him a look and shook her head while pursing her lips but then followed him into the office regardless upon seeing Wilson was not with someone.

"Unca Wilson! We's getting married!" Rachel immediately chirped upon seeing him, giving him a big grin. "Me an' Ebie gonna be flower girls an' wear pretty dresses an' dance with daddy at the wedding!"

Wilson smiled himself but then directed a wry glance House's way, who was cringing at the reminder that Cuddy had promised Rachel he'd dance with her at the reception. "So nice to see you've unlearned how to knock," he quipped sarcastically before he looked to Rachel once more and asked as if he didn't know, "_Who's_ getting married?"

"We is! Mommy an' daddy an' Ebie an' me!" Rachel announced excitedly, her eyes wide and head nodding.

Wilson laughed but exclaimed, "You are?!"

Rachel nodded her head adamantly.

House rolled his eyes but he was smirking. "We're here to show you Cuddy's rock," he said dryly, despite Wilson having already seen it.

Cuddy rolled her eyes, it being her turn to, but lifted her hand now that House had released it to show Wilson she was indeed wearing the engagement ring.

"So you didn't have the sense to turn him down?" Wilson joked.

"As if Cuddy would turn me down," House grunted as he set Rachel down, rifling her hair and then smirking before attempting to pass her a breakable item from off Wilson's desk to play with.

Cuddy's mouth dropped open but she managed to intercept the item, returning it to Wilson's desk before she smiled and all the same stated dryly, "It was an offer I couldn't refuse."

Wilson gave House a dirty look but then focused on Cuddy. "Congratulations Cuddy," he said then, getting to his feet to come around the desk and hug her.

Cuddy's eyes widened in surprise but she awkwardly made it work, Evie already stirring in her arms.

"Get off my woman," House warned him, as if bodily harm was a real possibility if he didn't.

Cuddy shook her head and Wilson released her, rolling his eyes before surprising House by hugging him as well.

"Get off, would you?" House instructed in mock annoyance. "Quit being a girl!"

Wilson huffed but released him, turning back to Cuddy to acknowledge, "That ring looks very nice on your finger."

"Thank you," she murmured, biting her lip as she happily considered the ring herself.

House groaned before shooting her a look. "It's only begun and I'm already at my limit with people fawning over your ring," he complained.

"You're the one who wanted to come here," she protested.

"Shouldn't have bought her such a nice one," Wilson quipped, pretending to be hurt when Cuddy immediately smacked him in the chest.

"Don't tell him that!" she sternly declared. "I don't want him thinking he can get away with being cheap where I'm concerned."

"There's nothing cheap about you," House drolly muttered, promptly receiving a smack to his own chest for his commentary.

"Hey! That was supposed to be a compliment!" he defended.

Cuddy quirked an eyebrow at him before dryly replying, "Yeah, sure it was."

"Well, you do wear rather expensive and _totally impractical_ shoes," he mumbled then, quickly stepping back before she could slug him again. "Not that I'm complaining."

"Shut up, House," she instructed lightly.

"Yeah. Shut up, House," Wilson repeated, grinning over how they all appeared to be... _kicking it __old school_ at present, revisiting old habits in their manner of speaking to one another.

"Shut up, daddy," Rachel echoed with a grin almost identical to Wilson's, surprising all of them.

Cuddy gasped then, trying to contain a laugh, while House looked between the two of them sternly. "Look what you've done now! You've corrupted my kid, turning her against her own dad," he scolded. Turning to Rachel, he said, "Rachel, mommy and Uncle Wilson were very naughty to say that to daddy, weren't they? We don't talk like that. Saying something like that can get someone a spanking."

Rachel nodded slowly, her eyes wide and House tweaked her hair to let her know she wasn't in trouble, as if he'd ever spank her anyway.

Wilson quickly moved back behind his desk and House rolled his eyes. "I am so not going to spank you Wilson. I wouldn't get close to your rear end if it was the only thing between me and a herd of elephants and I was looking for a hiding spot." Turning to Cuddy, he raised an eyebrow and said, "But just you wait until you get home, young lady. Daddy's going to spank you until you regret ever talking to him so naughtily."

"Uh, House, I'm still here," Wilson reminded him, giving him a disgusted look.

Cuddy laughed, shaking her head. "House, I've really got to get to my meeting," she pointed out though.

He nodded. "Yeah, the girls and I have to get going anyway."

Wilson dug in his shirt pocket to retrieve a sucker for Rachel, passing it to her, and House instantly held out his own hand for one.

Wilson huffed but reached in his pocket again to hand another one to House, checking to be sure it was a red one first.

"Thank you Unca Wilson!" Rachel replied happily, hopping up and down with her sucker in one hand and Baby G tucked to her chest with the other arm.

"Yeah. Thank you Uncle Wilson," House snarked, unwrapping his sucker and popping it in his mouth before he helped Rachel with hers and then returned it to her, lifting her up so he could carry her.

"You're welcome," Wilson replied, though he shot a dirty look House's way.

"We'll see you tonight, Wilson," House said then after smirking at him from around his sucker.

Wilson waved him off then with a shake of his head, turning back to return to his desk while House led the way back to the elevator, ignoring the attention they were drawing from everyone around them. Rachel was snuggled up against his chest, hopefully not drooling red sucker down his front and Evie was babbling happily to her mother now from where she sat on Cuddy's hip, her little hands patting Cuddy's cheeks as she started up a chorus of "mama, mama, mama," clearly alert now.

House took Cuddy's hand but made no move to cover her ring now and she tossed him an affectionate smile while they waited for the elevator to arrive.

A minute later they stepped off in the lobby, Cuddy having blocked his way to the emergency button while in the elevator, just in case.

House set Rachel down then and reached for Evie, Cuddy passing her to him, knowing she probably shouldn't be late for her meeting, even if she really wanted to walk them to the car. She lowered herself to Rachel's level to kiss the little girl goodbye, tucking her hair back away from her face before she murmured for her to have fun at daycare. Then she straightened and leaned in to press a kiss to Evie's cheek, stroking her hair too.

"I better have earned myself a kiss," House said then, surprising Cuddy a little with an indication of being open to PDA now. "I didn't even make any announcements from the balcony. I have been a _very _good boy."

Cuddy laughed, biting her lip as she shook her head at him but then she steadied herself with a hand to his waist before she rocked up on her heels to kiss him chastely, not caring who saw her do so.

House wiggled his eyebrows at her, smirking, but reached for Rachel's hand, taking it a tricky thing in itself as she had a sucker in her mouth and a doll under her arm. "We'll see you at home," he said then before turning to walk away.

She watched him go and he'd just reached the door when she decided she just couldn't let him go like that and called out, "House, wait!"

He turned around, looking at her expectantly, but she only picked up her pace, quickly reaching his side and tugging his head down for a searing kiss as she threw caution to the wind and gave herself over to a first-rate display of PDA. House released Rachel's hand to wrap his arm around Cuddy's waist, hauling her to him, his hand sliding down to draw her enthusiastically closer. Cuddy broke the kiss then, laughing at how his hand was placed on her butt in public. "House, move your hand. Now," she instructed, though she was smiling and half-tempted to kiss him once more for good measure.

He exhaled but dropped his hand. "Geesh woman! Show some restraint!" he admonished loudly, causing her to roll her eyes and back away.

House reached for Rachel's hand then, laughing at how she looked up at them like they were crazy, before winking at Cuddy and shoving the door open with his back to step out into the sunshine and head for the car, Rachel soberly telling Baby G, "They's be kissin' _all the time._"

* * *

"What are you doing here?" House asked skeptically when Cameron was the one to open Erika's door to let them inside that night.

She laughed at his expression but then passed Elliot to him before explaining, "Wilson informed Erika about your piece of news and she called to invite us to dinner so that we could all celebrate."

House groaned but Cameron ignored him, turning to look at Cuddy.

"Congratulations," she acknowledged with a smile and tilt of her head before looking at Evie in her arms and asking, "Can I take her from you? Erika's waiting to see your ring."

"Thanks Cameron," Cuddy replied, passing Evie to her.

"I can't believe you told everyone _but _me about your plans," Erika scoffed when House entered the kitchen, thwacking him in rebuke with a dishtowel before she turned to Cuddy, throwing her a welcoming smile before she reached for her hand to see the ring.

"Hey! Baby here!" he protested, rubbing his leg as if she'd hurt him after adjusting Elliot in his arms, pouting at her.

She shot him a look but then shook her head before turning back to Cuddy, "Congratulations Lisa," she said then. "And your ring is lovely."

"Thank you," Cuddy murmured, returning the smile. "I rather like it."

Erika laughed but then turned back to finish with dinner preparations while Wilson greeted them before moving to help her get stuff on the table.

Cuddy pitched in until House passed Elliot to her.

"Do you have a date in mind?" Erika asked in interest as she opened the fridge to retrieve drinks.

Cuddy's eyes widened at the reminder that they hadn't really discussed it yet before she admitted, "We haven't had much time to talk about it."

"End of February," House stunned everyone by interjecting.

All eyes turned to him and he smirked before saying, "What? That gives you four and a half months. You can plan it in that amount of time can't you? Besides, if we seal the deal on the 29th, I only have to remember it every leap year."

Chase chuckled while Wilson sighed dramatically but all the women just shot him looks.

"We are _not _getting married on the 29th," Cuddy countered with disapproval.

"But think of how _unique _we'll be?" House countered, gasping as if he was just shocked she wouldn't embrace the idea. "How many people actually get married on February 29th?"

"No woman in her right mind," Erika said in answer, shaking her head at him.

He pouted but counteroffered, "April 1st?"

"Um, let me think. Yeah, that's a _no_. And I think we'll discuss this further at home," Cuddy replied dryly, giving him a fake smile.

Erika laughed but then waved everyone towards the table. "House, will you call Trevor down?" she asked him as he was closest to the stairs.

He nodded. "I have to figure out where Rachel disappeared to anyway," he wryly mumbled.

"Hey House! Mom says you're getting married to Rachel and Evie's mom," Trevor said in greeting as he made his way downstairs after being called, Rachel following him, obviously having snuck off earlier to track him down.

He shot Rachel a pointed look and she nodded but then used both hands to go down the stairs.

"I am," he wryly answered.

"Well aren't you happy about it?" Trevor asked, frowning now.

House chuckled but then nodded. "I am," he confirmed before reaching for Rachel and swinging her up into his arms, tussling Trevor's hair when the boy headed with him in the direction of the kitchen.

"What were you doing upstairs?" House inquired then.

"I was doing the page of math homework mom told me to do before dinner. But then Rachel came in my room so I was showing her the castle and dungeon Wilson's been helping me put together out of Legos. She doesn't care so much about my Legos but she likes the Lego ninjas I have," he admitted then. "And she _really _likes the horses."

House smirked but nodded. "Thanks for allowing her to play with your toys, kid," he said as they entered the kitchen.

"She's little and she's a girl but… she's not _so _bad," Trevor informed him, as if he'd considered the matter carefully before coming to a conclusion.

Erika and Cameron overheard him and laughed as House rifled his hair again before they all sat down at the table, Wilson already proposing a toast.

* * *

"You're the only one whose opinion I didn't worry about," House said to Erika when he caught her alone in the kitchen, everyone else having made their way to the living room.

She smiled but then admitted, "I didn't take it personally. I… I actually think it's a good sign. Not that I really think you were _worried _about what Cameron and Wilson would say," she dryly interjected. "But I understand you feeling like they might need a little… preparation for what you intended to do next. I'm actually impressed at how well they _are _taking it. But then, they've had months to get used to the idea of you two trying to work things out now so I probably shouldn't be. Anyway, you know, you run a lot of things by me first. And I like that. I like that you feel comfortable enough to do that. I really enjoy our friendship and I like knowing you do too. But… it's also fine that you didn't feel the need to run this by me first. It tells me you're confident in your decision. And that's great. Plus, you're right. You didn't have to worry about my opinion because you knew I'd be fine with it. I try to be careful to not ever direct you one way or the other but to support you in whatever you want to do. And it isn't because I don't care. I just figure I'm a better friend if I can give you that. I'm just glad you know that I'll support you. And of course, I really do like Lisa. That helps," she concluded with a grin.

"So you'd support an April Fool's Day wedding?" he asked hopefully with an accompanying smirk.

"I'll support you in everything _but_ that," she replied, giving him an amused glance. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life questioning whether the wedding I attended was the real deal or just some extreme hoax on your part."

He snorted but then said, "Thanks Erika."

She smiled but turned to retrieve dishes from the nearby cabinet. "Help me serve ice cream?" she asked of him.

House nodded his consent and turned to pull a variety of ice cream flavors from the freezer.

* * *

"So… just how long do you _think _you need to plan this wedding?" House asked after they'd put the girls to bed that night.

Cuddy looked back at him as they made their way downstairs but shrugged. "Depends on what kind of wedding we're talking about."

He wrinkled his nose in distaste but then said, "I'll… _deal with it_ if you want to make a production of it, Cuddy."

She shot him an amused look upon reaching the landing but then caught his hand, tugging him down the rest of the stairs and towards the living room to sit down on the couch. "February might be a bit optimistic but it's not impossible either," she acknowledged then. "It's more a question of whether I can find a dress in that amount of time that doesn't require a lot of alterations. And… it also depends on where we decide to get married."

"Where do you _want _to get married?" House asked almost fearfully.

"Why are you making that face?" Cuddy couldn't help but ask, eyeing him doubtfully.

He cringed but then asked wryly, "Has it been your lifelong dream to get married in a synagogue by a rabbi under a chuppah with your groom in a kittel?"

She laughed at him. "House, it would be a _little unrealistic _for me to expect you to get married in a synagogue, masquerading as a Jew when I'm a non-practicing Jew at best."

"But you held a Simchat Bat for Rachel," he countered pointedly.

"Yes. I did," she agreed. "But… I don't know. That was different. I wasn't in a relationship with anyone at all, let alone someone who had no Jewish heritage to speak of. It was just me. And my family is Jewish, some of my extended family even practicing Jews, so it seemed fitting. And I really wanted to celebrate being blessed with a daughter. That's the whole point of a Simchat Bat. But that does _not _mean I hold out hope for us to get married in a synagogue. And the last thing I would expect is for you to wear traditional clothing and make promises to me under the guise of a religion you don't hold to, even if we could find a rabbi willing to marry us. Henry is a minister. Would you want _him _to marry us?" she asked pointedly, turning things around.

_"What? No!"_ he immediately negated, his forehead wrinkling as if the idea was an insane one.

"Well then…" she replied, not finishing her statement, figuring it spoke for itself as she shrugged dismissively.

"That would make even less sense than a rabbi," he countered. "You might not practice the religion of your ancestry, but you still consider yourself Jewish. I don't consider myself anything at all."

"But he's your biological father," she proffered. "You could want him to officiate at our wedding for that reason, since he _is _licensed, though maybe not in New Jersey."

"Uh, _no,_" he was quick to deny, staring skeptically at her.

"House, I said _could. _I didn't say I believe you _do _want that," Cuddy replied with an eye roll. "All I'm really saying is that he's come to both of the girls' birthday parties now so... maybe…"

"Okay yeah," House interjected, interrupting her there. "I'm _curious_ about him and… I don't know, maybe I'm…" He huffed out a breath, rolling his eyes, but then drolly muttered, "For the most part, _outside of in medicine, _I think entertaining 'what if' scenarios are stupid and a complete waste of time. But… saying that, I don't know. Maybe I look at him now and think… that could have been me or… that could have been you. What _if _Lucas had hung around and you had wanted to raise Evie with him? Or what if I _had _just moved on after what happened between us, with someone new? Like Erika, for instance. How much would that have sucked? To watch the person you love with someone else, raising _your _kid with that other person? Things could have played out differently than they did, Cuddy. But they didn't and you and I… we're _lucky _that things have worked out for us.

"I'm not saying that this is how he felt. I have no clue. And I have no intention of ever asking. I don't even know that I _care._ I've just… entertained the idea of how _I'd _have felt in that position. Because I know how it felt to watch you with someone else. And yeah, regardless, he made a _choice _to just let things lie and not be involved in my life more than he was. He _chose _to respect my mother's unspoken wishes. So I don't _owe _him anything. I don't _feel _like I owe him anything. I don't feel particularly bad for him either. But… I do _get_ that it was a decision both he and my mother thought was best for me at the time, their perspective limited by the knowledge available to them up to that point. And on top of that, my memories of him aren't _bad _ones. As a kid, I looked forward to him coming around. He was one of the good guys. So… I don't know that I can really hold a grudge _against _him for anything. And then there's the fact that… my mother will _never _be with him, Cuddy. She just won't. She's not that person. She will never _be _that person. He still has unresolved feelings for her but whatever she felt for him or _feels _for him, it just doesn't compare. Our ending will never be _their_ ending. Like you said, we are not them and they are not us. So she will never _choose_ to be with him. He has to know that. And for all rights and purposes, he fully accepts that. He probably figures it would never work anyway because... Ugh, I sound like a complete moron now," House mumbled self-depreciatingly, interrupting himself before attempting to get back on track with where he'd been going with this. "But, being that I _am _curious about him anyway, it doesn't _bother me _to invite him to stuff like that. I will never consider him my dad like you consider your dad to be yours. I won't ever _identify _him that way. I would _never _entertain the idea of having him officiate at our wedding because that would be just… preposterous. But… I wouldn't _object _to having some sort of loose relationship with him and getting to know him a little more, even if I have no intention of investing a lot of time into developing that relationship. And I don't care if the girls grow up to consider him their grandfather in some way, shape or form, if that's what _they _want. He's decent and… I imagine he'd do a hell of a lot better in that role than I could ever picture my father being capable of. But I don't plan to implant that idea in their head myself, either. Right now, I'm just kind of… treating him like a friend of the family or whatever. Yeah, I've invited him to the girls' birthday parties and he's come and I'll invite him to our wedding. He'll probably come. But I'm not asking him to be _involved _in the wedding. And I certainly haven't entertained the idea of him officiating, nor will I. So… before I feel like any more of an idiot than I already do for going into this, let's just _forget _this whole subject and get back to the real one. If not a synagogue, where do you _want_ to get married?"

That was more information than she'd gotten out of him so far, in regards to what he was thinking as far as Henry was concerned. Cuddy had no problem letting it go then. If she was honest with herself, she'd never expected him to explain that much. Not anytime soon anyway. But that didn't mean she had an answer for his question.

"Where do _you _want to get married?" she opted to redirect, turning the question back on him.

House hesitated but finally replied noncommittally, "I know someone who might be able to pull some strings to get us a booking at the Clarks Landing Yacht Club down in Delran. But it would be an hour drive."

Cuddy raised an eyebrow but said, "An hour isn't that far, House. Plus, I'm sure we'd just stay somewhere nearby the night before so it wouldn't be an issue anyway. Why don't you show me their website?"

He raised an eyebrow but got up to go retrieve his laptop, bringing it back before pulling up the webpage. "But how many guests are you thinking? Because I don't know that they have room for much more than 200."

She laughed but reassured, "That's fine. We don't have to invite _everyone _we know."

They browsed through the gallery of pictures and she nodded agreeably, surprising him by not feeling like it was necessary to see _all _the options available to them as possible wedding locations. "I think that would be great, assuming you have luck with finding a date on their calendar that isn't already filled in. Otherwise we'll just keep looking. I'd also like to go down and see the location before we commit to anything. But… would you mind so much if we aimed for the spring? An outdoor wedding sounds wonderful, assuming the weather cooperates. April? Or May at the latest? That'll also give me some time to find a dress and plan everything."

He nodded, this wedding thing proving far less complicated _so far anyway _than he'd expected. "I'll see when they can fit us in."

"Thank you," she murmured, taking the laptop from him so she could have his undivided attention when she carefully straddled him before kissing him softly.

House smiled against her lips as his hands settled on her waist before teasingly lowering to squeeze her derriere, only too happy to move on to the good stuff now.

She smiled against his lips but didn't open her eyes, instead wrapping her arms around his neck as she kissed him more ardently.

"Do you think it will always be like this?" Cuddy whispered breathlessly against his mouth when she finally broke for air a minute later.

"God, I hope so," he replied before recapturing her lips.

* * *

"_**Speak to me, read my mind  
Fill your mouth with flesh and wine  
And I'll be yours, just give me time  
Give me time**_

_**'Cause you have everything I could ever want**_  
_**You have everything I could ever want**_  
_**You speak to my soul like you've known it before**_

_**And I just can't stop**_  
_**Lord, I can't stop myself**_  
_**I can't stop**_  
_**Lord, I can't stop myself now**_

_**I'm losing sleep over you**_  
_**And I don't know what I've got myself into**_  
_**You just have something that I need**_  
_**And I can't put my finger on it**_  
_**You can put yours on me**_

_**'Cause you have everything I could ever want**_  
_**You have everything I could ever want**_  
_**You speak to my soul like you've known it before**_

_**And I just can't stop**_  
_**Lord, I can't stop myself**_  
_**I can't stop**_  
_**Lord, I can't stop myself**_

_**Now that you know, I can't get enough**_  
_**I gotta have all your love**_

_**You have everything I could ever want**_  
_**You have everything I could ever want**_  
_**And you speak to my soul like you've known it before**_

_**And I just can't stop**_  
_**Lord, I can't stop myself**_  
_**I can't stop**_  
_**Lord, I can't stop myself**_  
_**I won't stop**_  
_**Lord, I can't stop myself**_  
_**I can't stop**_  
_**Lord, I can't stop myself now**__**"**_

* * *

Song: "Can't Stop" (Mozella)


	119. Perfect

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

October 12th, 2011

Kate smiled when Lisa stepped into her office. She'd received a voicemail while in with another patient and then listened to it when she was able to, only to hear, "Kate, this is Dr. Cuddy. Um… _Lisa. _I know I'm supposed to let you know if I want to meet with you next week but I was wondering if I could maybe swing by today, just for fifteen minutes. That's really all I need. I promise. I just want to share something with you. Let me know if you have fifteen minutes free in your day. Thanks!"

Now she raised an eyebrow as she waited for her to take a seat across from her.

Cuddy didn't waste any time. Crossing her legs she released the lip she'd been biting and breathily announced, "We're sleeping together. Ever since Saturday. And it's been _wonderful_. No problems so far. _Oh!" _she interrupted herself to exclaim, raising her hand for Kate to see the ring. "And we're engaged! He… he took me to Newark Sunday night for dinner and then we went to the symphony. And afterwards he proposed. And I said yes. Obviously."

"Congratulations," Kate expressed, laughing at how giddy Lisa appeared, barely speaking in full sentences, her eyes shining and expression one of marked joy. "I wondered," she said then. "There have been rumors anyway."

Cuddy rolled her eyes but her expression never altered.

"And you're happy," Kate acknowledged pointedly, laughing again when she sighed heavily but nodded.

"I'm sure House is too," Kate said then.

Cuddy bit her lip but nodded. "He is. And… we can't seem to keep our hands off each other, Kate. I don't know how we're going to get anything done if it continues like this," she exaggerated, her expression revealing her wry amusement with the way things were at present. She tilted her head slightly before admitting, "I know this doesn't mean it will _always _be like this or that there won't be times when House… struggles. I kind of worry about what will happen the day we try to make love after being upset with one another. But, House has made it clear he wants to move forward with me and I have to believe that after everything, we'll be able to tackle whatever comes up. He does. And everything's been perfect so far. No glitches whatsoever. Really, it's all been so good. And last night I came home and he had Rachel on the bed watching a movie while Evie stood beside him in the closet as he made space for my things so I could bring them down from upstairs. We're just… It's like… I can't even find the words!"

"So enjoy it," Kate urged. "You're being realistic, not expecting it to always be perfect, but that's not keeping you from enjoying things and that's great. Enjoy it, Lisa."

"I am," she confessed as if it wasn't already obvious. "I really am."

* * *

"I'm cured!" House announced dramatically as he entered Nolan's office that night. "Jesus and the saints be praised!"

Nolan looked up at him wryly, his mouth pursing.

House grinned but then continued on into the office, the door closing loudly behind him.

"I take it you've seen some progress this last week," Nolan dryly stated, an eyebrow raised as he studied him.

"Not because of the fantasy thing," House dismissed snidely. "But yes. I had sex with her. Actually, I've had _a lot _of sex with her," he amended proudly. "And it's been smooth sailing so far."

Nolan chuckled wryly. "I see," he said then, very curious to know how _that _had come about.

"Well I hope not," House quipped as he finally sat down across from him. "That would be creepy."

Nolan pursed his lips but inquired, "So how did that development come about?"

"I don't know," he acknowledged honestly. "Things just… clicked. We were out raking on Saturday and she tackled me into the leaf pile and… it was like I was reliving the first time I kissed her, back in med school when I tripped and took her down with me. I flipped her over in the leaves so that I could torture her and she was thrashing around and laughing up at me and… I kissed her. I mean I _kissed her. _And it just happened. Instant Viagra. But without the Viagra," he finished dryly.

"And so you took things inside, I hope anyway, and were able to go forward without incident?" Nolan asked.

"The girls were outside with us," House skeptically added.

"Ah," Nolan replied.

House pursed his mouth but then admitted, "I'm not sure I would have been ready even then. Maybe I would have backed out, afraid I wouldn't be able to maintain it or something, afraid it was a fluke. But I _kept _reacting to her and by that night, I was ready. I don't think I'd ever felt so confident of anything in my life. But I knew I was there. I _felt _like I was there. So I didn't waste time thinking about it. I just went for it."

"How did you communicate that readiness to Dr. Cuddy?" Nolan inquired.

House gave him a look and Nolan chuckled, shaking his head, but then House sobered and shrugged. "She was in the kitchen late at night and… I told her I was ready to take things forward if she was."

"I assume she said she was ready," Nolan filled in with a smile.

House smirked in answer. "I'd say so. She agreed to marry me Sunday night when I asked her."

"Wait, wait, wait," Nolan mumbled, shaking his head in disbelief. "Say that again. You asked Dr. Cuddy to marry you?"

House chuckled. Instead of replying, he said, "I think I'm ready to stop spending my Wednesday nights here."

Nolan raised an eyebrow at that pronouncement but waited for House to explain.

He shrugged. "The whole point of me coming was to work through things and then figure out what I wanted, right? I've done that. What I want is to be with Cuddy. I wanted to be _able_ to be with her. And I'm there. I've accomplished that. Yeah, I get that there will probably be times when I still… have issues, maybe once I get off this high I'm on or… when we're fighting or what not, but… If I can go months without any reaction and then get my mojo back, I'm pretty sure I can handle a snag or two."

"I think you _can_," Nolan replied, rather impressed with House at present. "And I'm not opposed to you discontinuing our sessions," he interjected honestly. "I think you're ready. And quite honestly, I've never seen you so confident. So as long as there's nothing else you feel you need to discuss, I will happily figure out something else to do with my Wednesday nights. I already know you know where to find me if you ever need me for anything. As long as in doing so though, I secure an invitation to this wedding," he threw in with a smile.

"As long as you agree to not eat anything at the reception," House muttered drolly. "This wedding is going to cost a fortune."

Nolan laughed and then shook his head in continued amusement. "Anything else you want to share while you're already here and paying to be?"

House rolled his eyes. "Cuddy wants me to return to PPTH," he mused then.

"Is that something you want?" Nolan asked, turning serious once more.

"I'm entertaining the idea," he hedged noncommittally. "But I'm not rushing to make a decision. I'm fine at RE. But it's not _not _tempting to think about returning to Princeton-Plainsboro and the position I held there, having a full team again… I don't know that I'll do it but… I don't have any objections to considering it."

Nolan nodded. "Are you concerned about what it would mean for you and Dr. Cuddy?" he probed thoughtfully.

House shrugged and then huffed out a breath, pursing his lips before acknowledging wryly, "It would complicate things. I don't think it would be realistic to think I wouldn't revert to at least _some _old habits and I don't think Cuddy fails to see that but… If I take the riskier route and return to PPTH, can we make it work, now that we're in a relationship and planning to get married? Or would it be better to just stay where I'm at and continue what I've started at RE, waiting for approval to have my own team, taking things as they come? I don't know. I'm not in a hurry to make a decision. It's nice to know I have the option of returning. And I _might _miss the teaching aspect, to a degree. Well, at least all the opportunities to insult my underlings for being _idiots,_ but… we'll see."

"I'm really proud of you, House," Nolan spoke up to say after a minute.

"Oh brother," he muttered, rolling his eyes as he adjusted his position in his chair.

Nolan smiled but said seriously, "I really am. I have a lot of respect for how you've handled things this past year and the personal progress you've made. Honestly, I don't have any doubts about concluding our Wednesday night meetings. You've established a good support system. You've figured out what you want. You've covered the ground you wanted to. And while I'll still be here should you ever need to talk, I don't foresee you requiring my services, though I would welcome the chance to catch up, maybe grab dinner from time to time, should you wish to."

House's mouth quirked but he made no comment, only nodding a second later.

"You're getting married," Nolan wryly mumbled then, as if finally allowing himself to contemplate what _that_ would be like. "Who would've thought…?"

"Not me," House interjected dryly.

Nolan chuckled but asked, "Do you have a date yet?"

"Not yet. Sometime in the spring. I know someone who's checking dates for me at a place his brother owns," he replied.

Nolan nodded. "And you're sure you're ready for this?" he couldn't resist inquiring with a grin.

House only smirked.

* * *

"Hey," Cuddy greeted softly as House came into the kitchen later that night, instantly moving to step into him, kissing him lazily when his hands found her waist and he bent his head to meet her mouth.

"Hey," he mumbled back against her lips.

"How did it go?" she asked after finally releasing him.

House's mouth quirked to the side but he said, "He wants an invitation to the wedding."

"I'll add him to the list," Cuddy murmured with a laugh before tracing a hand along his chest. "You hungry?"

"For you?" he quipped, wiggling his eyebrows. "Starving."

She rolled her eyes but smiled wryly. "For something that will provide you with the sustenance you'll need for later," she volleyed back, shaking her head at him.

He nodded despite smirking a moment longer. "What did you have for dinner?" he asked finally.

"I had risotto with vegetables but I made the girls a chicken casserole, if you'd like some of that. There's still plenty left," she offered, reaching to retrieve a plate for him.

"Is that because the girls deemed it inedible?" he dryly inquired.

She narrowed her eyes at him and shook her head while pursing her lips but replied dryly, "I followed a recipe, House. Give me some credit. I'm not completely void of culinary skills."

He chuckled but nodded. "Sounds good."

She went to the refrigerator and dished him up a generous serving before heating it in the microwave. Turning back to him, she hesitated before asking, "Have you given any more thought to returning to PPTH?"

"I haven't made a decision one way or the other," he answered honestly. "But I'm mulling it over."

"Thomas asked me if I'd spoken with you after my meeting with him the other day," she admitted then. "I told him I had but wasn't sure what you'd decide. He repeated what I already told you, that the Board is willing to negotiate on some things if you'll seriously entertain the idea. And… he wanted me to pass along his congratulations on our engagement," she added, biting her lip as she eyed him sweetly.

House nodded, wryly smirking, and Cuddy turned back to the microwave to remove his plate while he got himself a glass. She set his dinner on the table and then moved to get him silverware before she hesitantly sat down at the table with him, moistening her lips as her hands met in her lap.

He smirked briefly but then concentrated on eating, only too aware of how she was struggling to not push to know his thoughts at present.

He smirked again when she lost the battle.

"What are you thinking?" she finally asked, worrying her lip now.

"That this is actually decent," he replied as if surprised, gesturing to his plate.

She sighed, rolling her eyes. "You know that's not what I meant."

"I don't know," he said then, taking a drink from his glass before quipping, "Are you asking as the Dean of Medicine or as my fiancée and future bride?"

Cuddy smiled, sighing now before admitting softly, "I like the sound of that."

"I thought you would," he mumbled dryly.

"Definitely as your future bride," she hummed then.

He made a face but said seriously, "As far as returning to PPTH, I still have my doubts. But on a side note, I assume you're going to want to start Rachel in preschool in the fall so the daycare thing isn't an issue whether or not I stay at RE, if your mom really wants to watch the girls and drive Rachel back and forth from preschool for us. I have a feeling Evie will quickly wear us all out with her energy, once she progresses past walking and starts running. But if your mom thinks she's up for it, I'm agreeable to that."

Cuddy smiled, imagining that picture he'd just painted for her. "Can you imagine when they are both talking?" she asked with a laugh.

House groaned. "Are you kidding me?" he muttered. "I'll never have another moment's peace."

She laughed, smacking his arm lightly.

His mouth curved up in a half-smile but he shook his head before huffing resignedly.

Cuddy sobered after a moment before asking quietly, "Are you really concerned it wouldn't work for us?"

He wrinkled his nose and pressed his lips together as he pushed his chair back to take his dish to the sink, washing it, dismissing Cuddy's offer to do that for him when she reached to do so. "I'm not worried about us, per se," he said finally, glancing at her. "But I'm not sure the benefits would outweigh potential detriments. We're in a good place, Cuddy. I'm not saying working together again would put our relationship in jeopardy. I wouldn't allow it to. But I'm not sure I want to take the risk and return to PPTH and then find it doesn't work. I'm not convinced I want to return to being a source of constant frustration for you. And I _would _frustrate you Cuddy," he emphasized when she opened her mouth to protest.

"You don't think I could handle it?" she probed ultimately, frowning at him.

He shot an amused look at her but then shrugged before mumbling, "I'm not sure I want you to."

"Are you… concerned that it would affect us at home?" Cuddy inquired, watching as he kept busy by drying his dishes before putting them away.

"I suppose that's part of it but… not exactly," he said casually before turning to open the door to the deck, whistling for Cookie Monster.

"What do you mean?" she asked after a beat, following him and the dog outside when he stepped out, leaving the door open behind him for her.

He expelled a breath but suggested, "Let's pretend I return to PPTH and I do what I've always done. I skip out on my clinic hours, I perform tests that you haven't approved, I take risks with patients that cross the line, the powers that be are questioning their decision to rehire me, you are put in the position of defending why I should keep my job and across the board you are questioning why you thought it would be a good idea to bring me back. Then you come home, you're frustrated with me but more so, with yourself for putting yourself in this position, but all the same you're trying your hardest to compartmentalize and see me as your husband, rather than the employee who is currently ruining your life. You want to burn off a little steam, and yeah, I think you're kidding yourself if you think you'll be able to deny me sex as punishment for misbehaving, because you'll only want it more. So you'll _want_ to have sex with your husband and release some stress in the process. Something he _completely_ understands because after all, he's a god in the sack," House added in jest, trying to lighten the tone because Cuddy was clearly taking this badly. "But… despite how much he wants to have sex with his incredibly sexy wife and how long he's been able to without problem, in that moment he finds that he can't quite pull it together. He's not oblivious to how upset you are with him and he's _not_ able to compartmentalize. Now you're not only frustrated at work. You're also frustrated at home. And… your husband isn't doing so well with his perceived failure either," he concluded wryly and much more honestly than he'd wished to.

Cuddy sucked in a breath and then swallowed hard before she seriously said, "House, I need you to do me a favor and ignore the fact that I'm _going_ to cry now. Because I can't help it; I can't stop it. It's going to happen and it is what it is."

"Cuddy," he protested, rolling his eyes but reaching for her regardless.

"_Ignore it," _she repeated firmly, putting a hand out to keep him from drawing her close as the first tears fell and she hastily swiped at them before choosing to ignore them herself. Swallowing again, she took a step back and drew another shaky breath before acknowledging, "House, I'm not entirely sure what finally tipped the balance and allowed us to make love Saturday night. Obviously, I'm just grateful to be able to make love with you now. But… that doesn't mean I suddenly think everything will run smoothly from here on out. I… I don't have that expectation House. And to be completely honest, there's a small part of me that _is _worried about that exact thing. _Not_ in regards to you potentially returning to PPTH. Because if you choose not to come back, I still think the day will come when life throws _something _at us that creates tension between us and makes things in the bedroom… complicated. _But _I promise you, I will _never _blame you for that. That won't frustrate me. I promise you that, House. It's not like you have control over that anyway. If anything, I'm pretty sure that I will be _more _motivated to resolve conflicts between us so that doesn't happen, to the point where you could take full advantage of that, though I doubt in this area you'd ever want to. I'm just… House, I want you at PPTH. But the decision is entirely your own. And I will support you either way. Do I miss you at work? Certainly. Do I miss having to chase after you? Yes, I do. But will I take you any way I can have you? Absolutely."

"Are you finished?" he asked after a moment, eyeing her wryly after glancing Cookie Monster's way to note the dog was still happily sniffing about the yard.

"Yes," she murmured before smiling semi-embarrassedly as she sniffed one final time and offering with a shrug of one shoulder, "You can hold me now if you want."

He snorted but met her halfway, wrapping his arms around her while she returned the embrace, House rubbing her shoulders to warm her up as it was chilly out now. "You were lying beneath me in the leaves and it brought me back to the first time you allowed me to kiss you," he mumbled then against her hair. "I was so taken with you, Cuddy. And it took you _forever _to come around and make an allowance for that first kiss. If I hadn't tripped and taken you down with me, I'm _still _not sure it would have ever happened. And it was like I was right back there, reliving that moment and all the sexual frustration I felt at having waited so long for you to give me a chance, in love with you all over again."

Cuddy leaned back to look up at him then, smiling. "It would have happened," she murmured back. "I could only resist so long. I was in love with you too, after all."

He returned her smile before bringing one hand up to cup her face, his thumb stroking over her cheek. "Now can I take you inside and try to satiate my hunger for you? Now that I've eaten to sustain me through my intentions to ravish you?"

She laughed but nodded. "You can certainly try, though I'm personally convinced we're currently operating at insatiable levels and might be for some time yet."

He bent his head and kissed her chastely before calling for Cookie Monster. Cuddy released him and stepped back but then took his hand as they turned to head inside, smiling when he ran a finger over the ring on her hand, tracing circles around it.

* * *

October 20th, 2011

Cuddy squeezed his hand tightly and House chuckled but then mumbled, "Relax. Everything's going to be fine."

"Easy for you to say," she muttered but huffed and relaxed her grip on him only to squeeze his hand briefly in apology as their lawyer met them.

"She's ready for us," he informed them then, having just stepped away to speak with a clerk.

House shot Cuddy a glance as she sucked in a breath, looking pale, but she directed her attention at their lawyer, nodding to confirm she was ready to go in to his unspoken question.

"Dr. House," Judge Davis greeted when they entered her chamber. "So nice to see you again."

"No, the pleasure's all mine," he volleyed sarcastically to her own wry statement.

"And Dr. Cuddy, I see that you've decided to join us," she stated in mild rebuke, referring to her absence last time. "I guess fate is working against me holding anyone in contempt today."

Cuddy looked like she might stroke out on him but House just rolled his eyes before nudging her to take a seat.

"So… Dr. Cuddy, am I to assume in your being present today, Dr. House was right to believe you might change your mind in regards to terminating your parental rights if given the time to?" Judge Davis inquired once everyone was seated, ignoring their attorney at present. "Because the way you were tightly clinging to Dr. House's hand as you entered makes me think things might have changed over the course of the last year. Or am I incorrect? Do you still wish to proceed with the termination?"

"She does not, Your Honor," their lawyer spoke up then on behalf of his client. "She'd like to respectfully revoke her request and if possible, have her legal and physical custodial rights reinstated to be shared with Dr. House."

Judge Davis directed her gaze to House momentarily, her eyes wide and an eyebrow raised. _"Well," _she remarked simply at that development before she focused on Cuddy once more. "May I ask why you've changed your mind?"

House foresaw the judge asking if Cuddy was unable to speak for herself if he answered for her now and so remained silent, just directing his glance her way as if to prompt her.

She moistened her lips but responded with more confidence than House had expected, "I wasn't in a good place when our baby was born but since last November I've been in counseling on a weekly basis and since last April I've been able to be a part of my daughter's life. I've been able to be the mother she deserves. House and I have made it work. We _are _making it work. I will never stop being grateful for all he's done. And I'm not in the position I was when I initially requested to have my parental rights terminated. If it's at all possible for me to spare my daughter further suffering, I'd do anything you asked to have you dismiss my original request."

"And how do you feel, Dr. House? You've clearly been proven correct in thinking if we held off a year in terminating Dr. Cuddy's parental rights it would allow her time to change her mind. But are you also in favor of jointly sharing legal and physical custody of your daughter? I distinctly remember stating for the record that I was only holding off on terminating parental rights to honor your wishes, not because I was disinclined to their termination," she stated pointedly.

Rather than respond verbally House tilted his head and gave her a wry look after reaching for Cuddy's hand, lifting it intentionally to reveal the engagement ring on her finger.

"_Well,_ I see things _have _changed," Judge Davis pronounced, studying the two of them, Cuddy slightly embarrassed by House's actions. "So it's no longer a case of you loving Dr. Cuddy but she now _returns_ your affections. Or have you agreed to marry Dr. House out of ulterior motives?"

"What?" Cuddy gasped immediately. _"No!"_

"I'm the one who suggested we get her legal and custodial rights reinstated," House clarified after rolling his eyes.

"Okay then," Judge Davis accepted with a nod of satisfaction. "I had the feeling you loved him back when you were last in my courtroom, Dr. Cuddy. I'm glad to hear you've been able to work out whatever's been keeping you apart. I'll just dismiss your request to terminate your parental rights and have my clerk draft the documents necessary to reinstate custodial and legal rights. Then we'll be finished here."

"Just like that?" Cuddy murmured in disbelief under her breath.

"Just like that," Judge Davis confirmed dryly. "And _please, _let's try to _not _run into each other again, alright?"

House snorted in wry amusement but nodded curtly in agreement, glad to have this whole thing behind them now.

* * *

November 18th, 2011

House entered Cuddy's office without knocking and she looked up, surprised to see him at Princeton-Plainsboro.

"Dr. Cooper is trying to negotiate me into staying," he launched into stating without preamble as he came further into her office. "He said he can't give me my own team yet but there is a larger office that will be available for me in three months and right around that time he might be able to swing it with the Board, talking them into giving me a team."

"And you're thinking about taking it?" Cuddy asked hesitantly, trying to mask her disappointment as she straightened from where she'd been flipping through papers in her inbox, looking for a missing letter from an insurance company. If that was what he wanted, she didn't want to talk him out of it. Maybe he just wasn't ready to come back to PPTH after all, even if he'd brought it up out of the blue the week before, saying he wanted to give it a shot. Maybe he still had doubts about it working out in the end.

House shrugged in response but then the corners of his mouth quirked up as he made his way from the doorway towards her where she stood before her desk now, his gaze intent. "I've had a counteroffer. To my way of thinking that means we're still at the negotiation table, assuming you still want me here. If you do, then maybe you should work to increase the favorability of your offer. I think that means we need to return to our discussion regarding perks," he responded somberly, eyeing her up and down.

"Perks," she repeated a second later, taking a step back as she swallowed, suddenly wondering why it was so much harder this time round to present a strong front while negotiating with him.

"Perks," House echoed with a nod, now right before her.

She took another step back to get some distance so she could think with the way he was eyeing her only to bump into her desk and send the files she'd had right behind where she stood, sliding across the top of it. Turning her head to look back, she began, "House, you know I am not going to…"

And then her words died off as he planted his hand to either side of her, his breath quickly warming her neck. "You haven't even heard what I want to discuss," he interrupted lowly, watching her as she sucked in a breath and then leaned back farther upon the desk to escape their close quarters.

"What do you want to discuss?" Cuddy managed to breathily inquire, trying not to stare at his mouth as Evie had woken up that morning, interrupting the direction things had been headed in, leaving them both frustrated for a time.

"Parking," he replied easily.

"Parking?" she repeated disbelievingly, her brow gathering as she stared up at him.

"Parking," he repeated with a nod in affirmation, only to nudge her knees apart with his own knee so he could be even closer to her, stepping between them.

Cuddy gasped and then did her best to look around him to make sure no one was able to see them before biting out, "House, we are not talking about… _parking_," she finished, glancing down at how intimate they were positioned in this moment, House's left hand not wasting any time as he brought it from her desk to stroke the inside of her knee with his thumb.

"I want my name on my space," he continued innocently.

"Your… _space?_" she whispered, looking down as he pressed in even closer.

"Is there an echo in here?" he queried wryly then, raising an eyebrow, his eyes on hers even as his right hand left the desk to slide her skirt up several inches, exposing half of one thigh.

Cuddy's hand left the desk to hurriedly cover his, stopping him right there. "I am _not _tattooing your name _anywhere,_" she declared huffily before her other hand came up to shove him back from her, quickly getting to her feet and rushing around her desk in the next second to sit in her chair, out of his reach. "I've already told you that."

House fell into the chair across the desk from her but she was gone before he could catch her and pull her into his lap. Sighing his disappointment he nevertheless said with a smirk, "I wasn't asking you to. When I want my name written across your flesh I'll put it there myself. Right now we're talking about my parking space. Geesh Cuddy. Get your mind out of the gutter."

She rolled her eyes but laughed at him then.

"What do you _really _want to discuss?" she prompted again.

"I still want out of clinic duty," he admitted. "I'm willing to negotiate. I'll take any cases that have whoever's working the clinic stumped, but I don't want to waste my time in there when there are better things I could be doing."

"Like what?" she asked dubiously. "Give me a _good example _of what you will be doing _instead _of clinic duty when you don't have a case. I mean it. It better be good."

"I want to write a book," House immediately informed her, his expression serious.

"You want to write a book?" she repeated after a moment of blinking her surprise, still not convinced he was being genuine, though his expression indicated he was.

"I do," he confirmed with a jerk of his head in affirmation.

"House, you've never mentioned wanting to write a book," Cuddy said then, her forehead wrinkling in confusion before she inquired doubtfully, already fearing the answer, "What kind of a book?"

"One people will read," he wryly responded after a shrug regarding her first statement. "About cases I've had, the process I went through with my team to try and reach a final diagnosis, the medicine, that sort of thing."

"Will you go shut my door?" she asked him with resignation, rubbing a hand over her face.

House glanced behind him but then returned his gaze to her and contested, "It _is _shut."

"The outer door into the clinic," she clarified pointedly, still eyeing him wryly.

"_Why?" _he challenged skeptically.

"Because even you _mentioning_ a desire to write a book about your past cases here would be considered inflammatory," she muttered in answer.

He gave her a look but got up and went to do as he'd been asked, though he heaved a sigh as if she was being unreasonable.

She bit her lip as she considered him once he'd reentered her office. "House," she said somberly then, "what you want to do is to write the transcripts to your next hundred lawsuits. A book like that… could put you _and _the hospital in jeopardy. You say you want to write a book now but how will you feel when you can't even get to an interesting case because you're always being called in to meet with attorneys?"

"I'd change the names to protect the not so innocent," he dryly countered. "I'd respect all privacy rules and leave out all eighteen identifiers that HIPAA restricts doctors from using in published documentation of past cases. And I'd get legal counsel before actually publishing it. I'd even agree to use a pseudonym if my legal counsel felt it necessary, though it'll be a challenge to find one I could work with. Heck, I could even write myself a sunny disposition to further obscure my identity. I just think there are a lot of idiots out there who want to be doctors but don't know the first thing about how easy it is to misinterpret symptoms and misdiagnose and this could be an opportunity to educate them, along with it being a creative way to present to the reader lesser-known conditions, treatment options, etc. More so if I could use my actual name and establish some credibility via my reputation but even if I can't…"

Cuddy groaned and placed her head in her hands before reluctantly lifting her face to reestablish eye contact with him. "House, it's one thing for the Board to offer you your position back and agree to not have wholly unrealistic expectations of you in regards to your behavior. But what Board in their right mind would want to hire you knowing you won't only push boundaries and challenge authority but also intend to write a book about your past patients that will bring a lot of criticism your way from the public at large?"

"Well, if they say no then I can stay on at Riverside East. But look at it this way, there's nothing to stop me from writing the book _now. _No matter where I'm employed. And yet here I am _offering _to let even _their_ legal counsel read it before publishing. How about that?" he argued, stretching back in the chair he'd returned to, his arms folded behind his head.

Cuddy fell back in her seat and rubbed a hand over her face once more. Wryly she complained, "You don't even work here yet and you're already causing me stress."

"At least I'm not allowing you to operate under the false belief that I'll be a model employee," House replied with a grin. "You can still change your mind if you don't think it's worth it."

She whimpered. "Can't we just pretend you never mentioned wanting to write a book and I'll find a way to convince the Board to let you out of clinic duty as long as you do agree to take the cases that have everyone else stumped, as you said, _without_ protesting beyond what I'd reasonably expect from you anyway?"

House pursed his mouth, frowning. "If I was to consider that deal, can we also have sex in the hospital?" he negotiated.

"No," she negated flatly.

"On the roof?" he suggested. "Because Cuddy, that's technically not 'in' the hospital."

"No," she repeated with a shake of her head.

"Yeah, I probably should have held that fact back for another argument. In the parking lot?" he proffered next, making a face to indicate she was proving a real drag.

"No," she answered, this time with a faint smile.

House pouted but asked, "Is it opposite day?"

"Nuh-uh," she denied, deciding to shake up her negations now.

"Why am I even contemplating coming back here?" he demanded then.

"Because I'll let you look down my shirt when no one's around," Cuddy replied immediately. "I'll even allow you to cop a feel from time to time, again when no one's around."

"Won't that just leave us both sexually frustrated?" he argued, wrinkling his nose.

"Yes," she agreed this time. "But think about the rewards we'll reap when you finally get me home and behind closed bedroom doors."

He paused as if considering it but then contested, "Yeah… no."

"House," she whined. "Come on. Work with me here."

"You're the one who's not working with _me," _he protested with a snort of laughter. "You're not giving me anything to work with."

"Well, isn't there something else you want that's halfway _reasonable? _Something I _can _give you?" Cuddy prompted, shaking her head in slight frustration.

"Your panties. Anytime I ask you for them," he almost immediately stated.

"I just wouldn't wear any," she sarcastically muttered.

"I could work with that," House accepted cheerfully with a nod.

She rolled her eyes. "I'll tell you what color they are."

"Cuddy, I'll already be attentively watching you get dressed every morning. I'd already know, defeating the purpose," he snidely protested.

"You're making me crazy," she admitted whiningly then, finally glancing at the clock to determine what time it was. "And this entire conversation has taken too long. How am I supposed to take off in an hour if I'm not getting anything done?"

"Take it home with you," he dismissed.

"And don't you have to return to work to pick up the girls?" she added.

"Nah," he replied. "I took off early and brought them with me. I dumped them with Wilson when I got here."

"House!" Cuddy scolded. "You can't just force Wilson to…"

"I'm just kidding," he interrupted to mutter with an eye roll before smirking and saying, "I left them with Taub. He needs to work on his babysitting skills if I'm to come back and invite him to return to his former position on my team."

"House," she laughed now, not believing him for a minute.

"What? You think he knows what he's doing with young children in his care? That he doesn't need the practice? Why? Just because he's a doctor? He doesn't. Therefore I've got him practicing. Yes, that means our kids are guinea pigs in this set-up but the whole point is to slowly increase the interval of time he spends with them so that in a few months he'll be able to handle an entire eight hour shift."

She rolled her eyes but asked again, "House, where are they really? And don't tell me they're at the nurses' station. Or still out in the car."

"Cuddy, I'm not an idiot," he grunted in protest.

"And in which of the two scenarios would you qualify as an idiot?" she inquired with a grin.

"Either one," he muttered dryly. "That's a choice between child endangerment due to exposure to the elements and child endangerment stemming from utter incompetence. It's a toss-up as to which would be the more idiotic."

She bit her lip hard to refrain from encouraging him further, shaking her head, but queried pointedly, "House, where are our children?"

"They're with Wilson," he acknowledged, his smirk returning. "But it must be going all right since he hasn't brought them here yet."

She groaned again but laughed wryly.

"Now quit trying to distract me. I'm still waiting on you to offer me something in addition to no clinic duty, complete freedom to look down your shirt whenever we're alone and the opportunity to also grope you in private."

"_From time to time,"_ she repeated sternly before dryly muttering, "And it sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me as is."

"Undoubtedly," House agreed amiably. "But we're talking about a book that might just get me on the bestseller list. Maybe even a movie deal. No. Better yet, be adapted into a television series. A two-hour movie would never be enough time to tackle all the cases I'm thinking of including in the book. I can be quite charming when I want to be, you know."

"Right now I just find you exhausting," Cuddy mumbled.

"Which also works in my favor," he teased. "Sensing weakness in your opponent and monopolizing on it can be key to a good strategy."

"Except that both parties have to be satisfied with the deal struck or someone's bitter. And you don't want to go home to a bitter fiancée, House," she counseled, her lips pursed to not smirk outright.

He smiled but then asked, "Will you kiss me anytime I ask you to?"

"Are you asking me to now?" she inquired, biting her lip once more though it did nothing to restrain her smile.

"I think it would be a good idea," he said with a shrug. "Both to seal the deal and to keep your future husband happy."

Cuddy pursed her lips but got to her feet, moving around the desk to sit on the armrest of the chair he was in.

But House quickly tugged her into his lap even as she gasped and laughed out, _"House!"_

"Kiss me, future Mrs. House," he demanded now that he had her where he wanted her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck willingly but protested with a smile, "I _have not _agreed to change my name."

"How about we make _that _a condition for my not writing a book?" he advocated.

"How about I just kiss you?" she countered, already leaning in, her eyes fluttering shut.

Their lips were just about to meet when Rachel came barging into the office, Wilson following behind her with Evie.

"Hi mommy!" Rachel called out, running towards them.

"_Oh! Sorry!" _Wilson quickly apologized upon seeing the position they were in, drawing up short. "They were just getting restless and I thought I'd bring them down."

"_Wilson!" _House bit out in frustration, groaning.

"I said I was sorry," Wilson pointed out. "And I'm not paid to be your children's nanny."

"You're an uncle," House argued with a scowl. "You're supposed to watch them for _free_. It's supposed to be something you do willingly and without complaining."

Cuddy laughed but pressed her lips to House's lightly, not allowing him time to really return the kiss before carefully lifting herself from his lap, hugging Rachel before reaching a second later for Evie who had her arms extended out to be taken, already calling "mama" excitedly.

Rachel skipped closer to House's chair and grinned at him, holding out a red sucker for him to take, pretty much forcing him to stop his pouting with her gift and sweetness. She had a sucker in her mouth as well and he could tell it was the same color as his because the area around her own mouth was a nice shade of red.

"Don't let him manipulate you," Cuddy said to Wilson then, focusing her attention his way as she adjusted Evie upon her hip. "You're not a babysitter."

"But he has a point," Wilson countered amiably. "I am an uncle. And I really don't mind."

"Even so…" Cuddy replied but then trailed off without further comment.

"I've gotta get back upstairs and finish some things but I'll see you guys later," Wilson said, already slipping out of her office.

"Thanks Wilson," Cuddy called after him before turning back to House, returning to sit on the armrest, giving him a look to warn him not to pull her into his lap now that she had Evie in her arms or he'd risk getting injured in the attempt.

"Are you coming home with us?" he asked her around his sucker, reaching out to tickle Evie's neck and get her to bat at him with her hand, giggling as she squirmed about in Cuddy's lap.

"Can you keep the girls distracted for ten minutes so I can finish some things?" she asked doubtfully.

"When you say ten minutes you really mean bare minimum, a half hour. Just bring what you need to home with you," he mumbled after slurping on his sucker noisily, Rachel climbing up in his lap a second later.

She gave him a dubious look, thinking of the week before and how she'd brought some stuff home with her to work on but never accomplished all she'd hoped to because House, Rachel and even Evie, to her own limited extent, had been out in the living room making ridiculous animal noises to accompany their awkward animal walks as they amused themselves while the Discovery Channel ran a special in the background and she hadn't been able to ignore them, wanting too badly to _join_ them. Still she probed, "And you'll keep the girls distracted at home so I can get some work done?"

"No!" he negated as if she was crazy. "I'm just trying to save us the next ten minutes of arguing about this. If I can at least get you home, then when we distract you, you won't feel so guilty about getting nothing done. Because you won't be sitting _here_ in your office, staring at all the paperwork around you just waiting for your attention."

She frowned but murmured, "You should probably go home without me then. I really should get a few more things accomplished before leaving."

"_Cuddy,"_ he cajoled. "Paperwork will always be here. But these _girls_," he stressed, reaching forward to smoosh both of Rachel's cheeks forward into Chubby Wubby position until she giggled, "won't be this age forever. Do you _really _want to miss out on this time with our daughters to stay here and _work?_"

"Not fair," Cuddy protested. "And you're making Rachel drool."

He released Rachel's face and cringed at the pink-tinged drool running down her chin and off the end of her sucker stick before Cuddy grabbed a Kleenex from her desk to wipe it off, Rachel still giggling over how he'd mashed her face.

"Come with us, Cuddy," he instructed. "We'll go out to eat. And you can bring your paperwork home with you and work on it after the girls have gone to bed. I'll leave you alone while you work on it. I promise."

"You will?" she dryly pressed for further confirmation.

"I will. I'll even ignore you completely until you have it all done," he added wisely, thinking that would limit just how much work she brought home with her then.

"Why do I get the feeling that this is going to backfire on me?" she mumbled even as she stood upright, placing Evie on the floor to free her to flip through her inbox and separate out what she wanted to take home, finally locating the letter she'd been searching for when House had entered.

"Because you don't like being ignored," he pointed out wryly.

She straightened and gave him a look before frowning and cutting her current stack to take home with her in half.

House smirked but said nothing more.

"Do you really want to write a book?" she asked when they were ready to go, just before they reached the door to her office.

He gave her a droll look but then muttered, "Cuddy, I'm trying to get _out _of work. Not generate _more _work for myself."

"So all of that was just to get me to come up with a way to excuse you from clinic duty myself?" she stopped to demand.

"How have you known me this long and yet still fail to see how I operate?" he retorted dryly. "Have you really forgotten what it's like to oversee me? Are you _that _out of practice? Man, I'm going to have a _great _time breaking you back in."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

He smiled but then shrugged. "I've thought about it. And someday I might. But if I get all rich and famous, the Board will probably want me to donate a percentage of my profits. I don't like to share. And I can't have them using my wife against me."

Cuddy pursed her lips, uncertain that any of what he'd just said was true. Still she admitted, "You'd probably be a very good author though. You'd know your subject. And you'd be engaging, anyway."

"Cuddy, I'm not writing a book," he said flatly then, giving her a disbelieving glance.

"You really don't have any desire to?" she queried.

"Not today," he replied with a laugh.

"Forget it. I don't even care anymore," she retorted, shaking her head before brushing past him with Evie in her arms.

"You say that now but you'll change your tune when the royalty checks start rolling in and mama wants a new pair of shoes," he called after her gleefully.

* * *

December 10th, 2011

"Remind me again why I agreed to go to this with you?" House complained as he finished knotting his tie.

She cast a glance at him, biting her lip to refrain her smile, but murmured, "Because you love me and want to go."

House mused over that answer before giving her a pointed look and muttering, "No. That wasn't it."

She rolled her eyes.

"And didn't I agree to go with the _condition_ thatyou would wear that dress I approve of but that your father hates?" he pressed on.

Cuddy turned to look at him as she put her second earring in her ear, frowning before she pointed out, "House, I've already agreed to wear that dress again for you but for New Year's. I bought a new dress for this fundraiser. And I realize you don't appreciate the fact that it's more modest but I do have to conduct business at this event and it'll be a lot easier to do that without you groping me publically to mark your territory when male donors look a little too long at the gap in my dress."

He huffed out a breath as he stared at her where she stood before the mirror, still in her robe. "Female donors would be looking too. Some things are hard to resist," he mumbled in addition before grumpily asking, "So this dress is going to be a big letdown?"

"I'm sure you'll still find reason to grope me," she retorted with one final disapproving glance his way before heading into the bathroom, garment bag folded over her arm, the door shutting behind her.

House reached for his tuxedo jacket, grabbing it before heading out of the bedroom. Evelyn had convinced them to leave the girls with her and Richard overnight and so he'd dropped them off an hour ago only to return home and find Cuddy wasn't even dressed yet. Dressing had taken him all of about five minutes, though he _had _showered first while she did her makeup. Now he headed to take Monster out one final time so that they could leave as soon as Cuddy was ready. She of course insisted on being early and though he'd been momentarily tempted to send her on alone, he'd been smart enough to keep his mouth shut and not voice that thought.

"Okay, I'm ready," she called to him fifteen minutes later, just as she came around the corner and entered the kitchen to find him leaning against the counter, nursing a Coke.

She set her wrap over a chair and looked his way, smiling when his eyes widened with approval before she then slowly twirled for him. "You are going to dance with me tonight, aren't you?" she asked before more softly inquiring, "Do you like it?"

He approached her without hesitation, barely waiting long enough to place his Coke on the counter before he was already on his way to her. Then he came to a stop before her, leaning to the side a little to first trace a finger up the high slit of her dress running up the length of one leg until it ended a couple inches down her thigh, before his hand continued up to skim the almost metallic cranberry material covering her side, pausing parallel to her breast so as to slide his hand under her arm to trace the cut of the dress that left all of her back exposed before he let his hand drift to her bare skin, settling at the small of her back, using its presence to draw her into him.

She bumped into his chest, her head falling back upon her shoulders to see his face and House took advantage of his position to look down between them and eye the cleavage that was more pronounced from his new angle, especially as she was pressed against him, cleavage only teased slightly when eyed from across the room.

"I like," he finally affirmed before pressing her in tighter against him, rocking his pelvis forward before he clarified unnecessarily, "Other parts of me _really _like it too."

She stuttered out a breath, glancing at the clock before regretfully murmuring, "We don't have time."

He smirked at her even considering taking advantage of having the house to themselves to indulge before they headed out, but then shook his head, partly in agreement with her. "We'll let it build," he mumbled, though he rocked himself forward against her once more as his hand slid up her back and along the edge of her dress until it climbed her strap, only then stepping back to allow himself space to trace her strap back down and tempt a finger along the top of her dress and back before he removed it and dropped his hand.

"Are you going to kiss me?" she breathlessly asked, placing a hand on the knot of his tie which matched her dress almost exactly, it also being cranberry.

"Nope," he negated after a beat, briefly considering it before steeling himself to tease her too throughout the evening, having the house to themselves meaning they'd have no reason to keep their volume down when they returned later on.

Cuddy's eyes widened in surprised but then she pouted, her eyes focusing on his lips.

He smirked but lifted a finger again between them to place it on her sternum and gently push her back and away from him even as he stepped back himself. "We've gotta go if you're to arrive before this thing gets underway."

She nodded but the pout remained a second later. "Help me into my wrap?" she asked finally.

He nodded and watched as she went to retrieve it from where she'd set it earlier. When she returned he helped her with it.

"You look very handsome," Cuddy informed him once she'd turned back to face him.

He scrunched his nose while his eyes traced over her features before admiring how she'd piled her hair upon her head, leaving her neck also bare, the temptation to bring his mouth to it now, hard to resist. "And here I was trying to go for irresistible," he grunted.

She bit her lip before she realized what she was doing and released it to avoid having to reapply her lipstick so soon without even getting a kiss to justify doing so. "I'm afraid that's _exactly _what you might prove tonight," she admitted honestly from behind lowered lashes, her tongue peeking out to trace over her bottom lip.

He grinned but turned her towards the door before lightly smacking her butt. "Let's get out of here before we can't resist the temptation any longer."

She cast a smile back at him for his words but nodded and did as he said, leading the way to the car.

* * *

House watched Cuddy mingle and do her thing from across the room while conversing with Wilson and Erika near the far wall, Cameron and Chase having slipped away a moment ago to dance. There was an open bar but he had yet to decide if he was going to have something, not because he didn't think he could handle it but because he wasn't sure he wanted to risk it all the same. Wine was a safe bet. It did not have any real allure in his eyes. The scotch he wanted… He wasn't so sure. He figured he could always have one right before they left. That would be playing it safe. Perhaps it was better to not start now, so soon after having arrived and only having talked with a few people who grated on his nerves, up until this point.

Dismissing the momentary temptation, the corner of his mouth crawled upwards when Cuddy looked around, quickly tracking him down and flashing him a smile. He wondered how long he should give her before he stole her away, braving the dance floor in order to have her to himself for a time.

"Would you like to dance?" he heard Wilson ask Erika just then.

"Sure," she agreed, accepting Wilson's hand as he led her away, Erika flashing him a smile and a shrug as they abandoned him as well.

House rolled his eyes but then glanced back Cuddy's way, not spotting her where she'd just been. And then he found her, practically trapped in a corner with a donor who was being just a tad too touchy feely in House's opinion. He frowned, eyeing the man as he touched her arm again. So help him, if that guy tried to touch her anywhere else…

Cuddy looked at him from over the man's shoulder and House straightened, realizing that was a "Please save me!" face she was making. He certainly didn't have a problem with that idea. Couldn't that idiot see she had a rock on her finger?

Moving through the crowd he saw Cuddy glance his way as she spoke with the guy, following his progress with relief in her eyes. He was just approaching them when the guy had the nerve to place his hand on the small of her back, asking, "How about I take you out on a spin around the dance floor?"

House gritted his teeth, his eyes narrowing.

Cuddy shot him a warning look to play nice. He wasn't all that disposed to at the moment. But before he could speak up, she replied, "I'm so sorry, Patrick. But I promised my fiancé I'd dance with him and it looks like he's come to collect on that promise."

House cleared his throat loudly before he said far too nicely to be remotely like himself, "I'm _so _sorry to interrupt but if I don't steal you away now darling, I'm afraid I won't get another chance."

Cuddy shot him an _extremely _skeptical glance but then caught herself and snapped out of it, taking House's extended hand. "Thank you so much for coming tonight to support the hospital, Patrick," Cuddy said pleasantly as she sent a charming smile back at him before House guided her away.

"_Darling?" _she asked dubiously when they were out of hearing range, looking at him wryly. "I'm pretty sure that was taking it _beyond_ overkill."

"You referred to me as your _fiancé," _he countered dryly.

"You _are _my fiancé, House," she immediately retorted before smiling, glancing at how he was entwining their hands. "I… I just figured I'd clarify our relationship right from the start. He's a new donor to PPTH. He knows very little about anyone yet."

"Yeah but you stole my thunder," he replied with a pout.

"Why? You still got to claim me. And I didn't make you behave yourself. Wait until he finds out you work here. Or soon will be working here, anyway. Wait until he _really _gets to know you. I wouldn't worry House. You still have plenty of aces up your sleeve," she reassured teasingly. "And look at it this way, now you've got him misjudging you with an _extremely skewed_ first impression. Let's just… try to behave for tonight though, okay? I need to make this hospital some money."

House led her out onto the dance floor and then twirled her around before he lifted her hand to place it upon his shoulder, watching her intently as he slid his hand along the underside of her arm, making her shiver before his hand stroked over her shoulder and down her back to stop on her waist, his other hand landing there as well while she wrapped her other arm around his shoulder to dance with him.

"Thank you for rescuing me," she acknowledged then, smiling up at him as they danced.

He rolled his eyes, his mouth twitching. "You've been doing this a long time Cuddy. You didn't need me to rescue you," he drolly mumbled, calling her on it.

Her smile grew until she bit her lip to try and restrain it. "Maybe so," she admitted finally. "But… sometimes it's nice to have someone willing to rescue you."

He sobered and then said seriously, "I'll _always _rescue you, Cuddy."

Her expression turned tender and she looked down for a second, House only waiting that long before smirking and adding, "Except when it's me you need rescuing from. Then you better look elsewhere for deliverance and remember you brought it upon yourself in inviting me to work here again."

She looked back up and laughed at him, rolling her eyes.

"Did I see you talking to Robert Phillips?" she inquired then, narrowing her eyes questioningly at him.

"Good ol' Bob," House replied sarcastically. "Yeah. Until Wilson rescued _me_. That was a smart move on his part though. Bob was being a pompous…"

"_House,"_ Cuddy rebuked with a look. "Don't you dare conclude that statement here."

He rolled his eyes but then smirked down at her. After a second he added, "Tom came up to me and we talked for a while. But you better keep an eye on that Miranda Nielson. I think she likes me a little more than you might want her too. She stole me away from Tom to welcome me back to Princeton-Plainsboro. I'm telling you Cuddy…" he warned under his breath with a growing grin.

_She_ rolled her eyes now but played along, saying, "I'll be sure to keep an eye on that, then. I can't risk having anyone steal you away from me."

He pressed his lips together in response but snorted. When the music switched to a slow song, he wiggled his eyebrows at her before pulling her in closer.

"Keep your hands where they are, House," she advised dryly when they started venturing lower than the small of her back.

But he was pleased when she placed her head against his shoulder, leaning further into him, sighing happily.

He spotted Wilson dancing with Erika and rolled his eyes when Wilson gave him a pointed look, smirking at him.

"_House,"_ Cuddy cautioned.

He laughed, realizing he'd been absently tracing a finger along the scoop of her dress right below the small of her back. He stopped his movement but left his hand where it was, his gaze drifting to the top of her head, reverently admiring her pinned up curls.

He was one lucky S.O.B. to be here tonight with her, he decided. He was lucky to be in a place where he _could_ publically claim her like this, before all of PPTH. They were _both_ lucky to have arrived at this point, together. He didn't have to wonder what it felt like to be the other guy, watching her with someone else. But he was grateful to be where he now stood. He was grateful he'd never have to go back.

* * *

_**"I used to stare up into the sky  
And fill the space around with my why's  
But now I've got it all figured out  
And I'm embarrassed that it took me 'til now**_

**_The simple answers in her replies_**  
**_Unlock the universe with her eyes_**  
**_She rips apart my world with her moves_**  
**_Oh, while stealing all the light in the room_**

**_And I found someone to walk me through this life_**  
**_The brightest sun has opened up my eyes_**  
**_Tonight I need exactly who she is_**  
**_We're going to be perfect_**

**_She can teach a melody to the birds_**  
**_And problem solving without a word_**  
**_She could tell the richest man how to need_**  
**_Oh, right after telling him about me_**

**_And I found someone to walk me through this life_**  
**_The brightest sun has opened up my eyes_**  
**_Tonight I need exactly who she is_**  
**_We're going to be perfect_**

**_And in my life_**  
**_If I can have one thing I don't deserve_**  
**_Then I have never wanted anybody else but her_**

**_She can do no wrong in my mind_**  
**_So I'll take a seat while she takes her time_**  
**_'Cause I am here forever I say_**  
**_So lock me up and throw the keys away_**

**_'Cause I found someone to walk me through this life_**  
**_The brightest sun has opened up my eyes_**  
**_Tonight I need exactly who she is_**  
**_We're going to be perfect_**  
**_Perfect"_**

* * *

Song: "Perfect" (Jon McLaughlin)


	120. When You Got a Good Thing

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Things are really moving fast now. Bear with me!)_

* * *

January 20th, 2012

It didn't take a genius to figure out that Cuddy'd had a long day at work. And House admitted to himself though he refused to acknowledge it to anyone else on principle, Cuddy included, that he hadn't done her any favors by getting the girls all wound up since leaving work with them a number of hours ago. Evie had finally conked out a half hour ago at nine thirty but Rachel showed no signs of tiring anytime soon. It _might _have something to do with all the sugar she'd ingested since coming home from daycare with him, but… he wasn't going to acknowledge that either.

Rubbing a hand over his face, he eyed Cuddy skeptically as she continued the lecture he was on the receiving end of. And then as he shifted, hoping she would just hurry up and finish her monologue of rebuke, he spotted Rachel who stood a little ways behind Cuddy, watching her get after him.

Rachel realized her daddy was looking at her and grinned widely at him, bouncing a little on her feet.

His mouth quirked slightly in response and Cuddy huffed out a breath, interrupting her reprimand to accuse, "You're not even listening to me, are you?"

"I am," he defended, returning his eyes to her and giving her a droll look before dryly summarizing, "I can't let the girls eat so much sugar. It's not good for them. They're going to get cavities. _Like we can't afford to take them to the dentist. _But continuing… Hyper. Never going to go to bed. Too many cookies. Sugar is bad. _Very_ _bad._ Did I miss anything? Maybe a reference to putting them on a restrictive diet that removes sugar entirely from their diet altogether, perhaps?"

She scowled at him while crossing her arms over her chest, something House actually appreciated as it gave him a glimpse of cleavage. "You think this is funny but…"

House opted to tune her out, figuring she was mainly frustrated from the day she'd had, rather than his negligence in monitoring sugar intake, as she'd only been home an hour and a half now, which was hardly enough time to be that put-out with the girls' behavior if she _hadn't _had a bad day, so this was more about venting than it was about trying to teach him some kind of life lesson. His eyes sneaked one more peek of her chest before his attention was drawn back to Rachel _just_ as the little girl rolled her eyes.

He promptly choked on his spit.

"Are you okay?" Cuddy couldn't help asking, falling silent for pretty much the first time in ten minutes.

"Yeah," he dismissed, but he was having a hard time not laughing now because Rachel knew she was amusing him and kept rolling her eyes and then covering her mouth to try and shush herself so she wouldn't giggle and get caught, to be followed up by being yelled at by her mommy, _knowing_ she wasn't supposed to do it but getting away with it all too often regardless because she _was_ rather cute and _very _aware of it. Not to mention House had a hard time genuinely disciplining her.

Cuddy drew back, staring at him suspiciously. And then she caught on and whirled around just as Rachel rolled her eyes again and his little peanut immediately gasped and clamped a hand over her mouth, giggling madly because she was unable to restrain it now.

Cuddy threw her hands up in the air, shaking her head before shooting House a look, clearly blaming him for Rachel having learned this behavior and he tried to hide a smirk but failed miserably when Rachel repeated her naughtiness, the wild laugh to follow even more over the top.

"She uh… She's very tired. Early morning, you know. She just needs to go to bed," House mumbled as if in explanation of her behavior when Cuddy stared him down, not at all amused.

"You let her have too much sugar," she reinforced her earlier message in stating somberly with another headshake.

"You're probably right. Less sugar. Got it," he opted to acquiesce, hoping to get him _and_ Rachel both out of the doghouse for this one.

Cuddy huffed before stating tiredly, "She's all yours for the rest of the night, House. Have fun trying to get her to go to bed."

And then she turned and walked out of the room without another word, the bedroom door closing behind her a second later.

House turned to look at Rachel, pursing his mouth. _"You,"_ he enunciated, "are in _such_ big trouble!"

She giggled as he scooped her up and blew raspberries on her neck before swinging her up in his arms, settling her against his chest to carry her upstairs.

"You play with me daddy?" she asked him sweetly, wrapping her arms around his neck, her little fingers tickling his nape.

He shot a chagrined glance at his closed bedroom door, wondering wryly if Cuddy had locked him out to reinforce that he was on his own in this, but mumbled, "After we get you ready for bed."

"Okay daddy," Rachel agreed happily, earning herself an affectionate tweak to a lock of her hair.

* * *

Cuddy shot a glance at the clock on the nightstand across the bed as she turned off the light in the bathroom behind her and frowned. She'd left House with the responsibility of putting Rachel to bed two hours ago and had spent the time since relaxing, as well as soaking in the bath, something she'd really needed after how frustrating her day had been. But she'd expected him to have accomplished that by now and to have come to bed, only he had yet to make an appearance in their bedroom. She wondered if that was because Rachel was still awake or if it was because House was currently avoiding her, in case she was still irritated with him.

She froze in place and unconsciously held her breath, listening for signs that Rachel was still awake, but couldn't hear anything at all. Releasing a breath she reached for her robe and pulled it over her arms, tying the sash before she headed for the door, opening it to slip out so that she could begin her search for him.

As it turned out he was not hard to find. She paused in the doorway to Rachel's room, leaning against the doorjamb as she took in the scene before her. Both House and Rachel were conked out upon the bed, House leaning back against the wall with Rachel sprawled out, her legs to the side of him and her upper body across his chest, her hair fanned out about her. House was snoring lightly, his mouth open and Cuddy bit her lip as she watched them sleep for a moment longer. Almost regretfully then she pushed off the doorjamb and stepped within Rachel's room, moving around the bed to stand beside House, murmuring his name as she lightly cupped his face, running her thumb over his scruffy cheek.

"House, wake up," she murmured quietly again.

It took him a few seconds but finally he opened his eyes, blinking several times before his eyes left her face to glance down at Rachel.

"Who fell asleep first?" she asked him softly, smiling as she continued stroking his cheek a moment longer before dropping her hand to help slide Rachel off him and under her covers.

"I don't know," he mumbled groggily before yawning and rubbing a weary hand over his face. "Last thing I remember is her asking me to tell her a story and making one up as I went along."

Cuddy left his side and went around to the other side of the bed, allowing him to get up so she could pull the covers up over Rachel all the way, and only then did House wake up enough to stare at her, his brows drawn.

"What are you wearing?" he inquired finally.

Cuddy immediately smiled, glancing at him. But she didn't answer.

House's mouth pursed as he studied her further, her short robe obscuring very little of her bare legs from his gaze.

Satisfied that Rachel was sufficiently tucked in Cuddy straightened and focused her attention on House. "Are you ready to go to bed?" she asked him as he came around the bed towards her. "Or were you planning on crashing in here tonight, bunking down with Rachel?"

He smirked but his focus went from her eyes to the V of her robe and she only took one step back towards the door before she paused, allowing him to come right up to her, his hands slowly untying the sash that held her robe together.

She smiled, tossing her hair out of the way and pushing her shoulders back as her silk robe fell open, exposing the chiffon and lace babydoll lingerie she was wearing that matched her eyes perfectly and tied between her breasts, leaving most of her belly exposed, matching underwear the only thing obscuring the rest of her.

"Are you ready to go to bed?" she repeated, an eyebrow quirking invitingly.

He swallowed but nodded and followed her as she took a few steps backwards out of the room before she shimmied her shoulders, her robe now loose enough for it to fall off of them due to her movement, slipping down, down, down until it fell to the floor.

"Oops," she murmured as if the loss of her robe had been accidental. But she didn't bend to pick it up, instead asking sweetly, "Oh House, could you grab that for me please?" as she stepped over it gingerly before turning away from him with a glance back at him over her shoulder before she started down the stairs, adding a little extra sway to her hips. "And don't forget to shut off the light in Rachel's room and close the gate behind you," she called quietly back to him.

House swallowed hard, nodding dumbly, and reached down to retrieve her robe, groaning at the silky feel of it between his fingers before he remembered to turn back and hit the light in Rachel's room, hurrying then to follow after her.

* * *

January 27th, 2012

House had come in to PPTH to fill in some final paperwork that was required of him before he was to start back at Princeton-Plainsboro, leaving the girls at home with Evelyn. He was just waiting for Cuddy to finish reviewing it so that he could go home when Foreman rapped his knuckles against Cuddy's office door, not waiting for a response before walking in.

"You're coming back in a week and reassembling your team but you don't want me back. Why is that?" he demanded of House without preamble.

"Cuddy, could you give us a minute?" House asked after a shared look between them, Cuddy having told him that Foreman was disgruntled and wanted an explanation and to expect to have to give him one.

An eyebrow rose as she stared at House in disbelief before looking at Foreman. Pursing her lips, she straightened the paperwork that was ready to be filed and then got to her feet, her eyes narrowing. _"Fine," _she muttered with ire. "I'll give you a minute in _my office _while I go file these."

House rolled his eyes at her irritation once she'd turned to walk away so that she wouldn't catch him, Cuddy shaking her head slightly before giving Foreman a look as she passed him by.

But Foreman kept his eyes trained on House, his expression drawn, waiting until the door had closed behind Cuddy before he repeated, "Why don't you want me on your team?"

House pursed his mouth and then rolled his eyes before pushing Cuddy's chair back further and sinking into it, propping his feet up on her desk as he stared at Foreman, letting him stew a little. Finally he grunted and said, "Because you don't need me anymore. You were with me a long time. You were one of my original ducklings. I'm not bringing you back into the nest when there's no reason for you to be there. And if you haven't learned all you could learn from me by now, I hardly think bringing you back will change that."

Foreman huffed out a breath but then moved to take a seat across from House, leaning forward as he stared back at his former boss. "But you're bringing Chase back," he countered. "He was part of your original team."

"That's just temporary," House replied dismissively with a shake of his head. "The Board wants someone other than Cuddy with an eye on me for the first six months I'm back, just in the transition and Wilson doesn't want to do it. Neither does anyone else. Chase has only agreed because they've offered him the Head of Surgery position since Dr. Chang only wanted to serve as interim Head of Surgery until they could find someone else. The Board thinks that overseeing me, supposedly, will give him a chance to prepare him better for his future position. It will also allow him to sharpen some of his skills that have been neglected in the post he currently occupies. But regardless of what _they _think, we all know that works for _me_ because Chase has absolutely no authority over me anyway and will just concede to my wishes, though yeah, he might report to Cuddy when he feels it's necessary. I'm willing to take that risk."

"So you're giving Chase a boost up?" Foreman asked dryly.

"_I'm not!"_ House protested. "_The Board is._ And having him back is hardly an inconvenience to _me _since it buys me time to hire another fellow to replace him."

"And I'm not supposed to be irritated that I'm just being left where I'm at?" Foreman muttered, his jaw clenching.

House's mouth quirked from side to side but then he looked away, rolling his eyes before returning them to Foreman. "I've recommended you to Riverside East to take over the position I just vacated and head Diagnostics there. Yeah, the Board is probably going to want to test drive you before they agree to allowing you to hire your own team, but they are much closer to giving you one than they were when I hired on. You just have to prove you can pull in the money. And of course, you have to get the job. But you should be getting a call shortly to set up an interview as they don't want to allow too much time to go by if they are indeed going to keep Diagnostics part of their program. And _don't _tell Cuddy that I got you an interview because I don't want to have that argument with her for stealing away one of her doctors."

Foreman's brow had drawn in the course of House's disclosure but now he asked, "But what about Cameron? Doesn't she want the position?"

House looked at him like he was an idiot.

"Well, you aren't bringing her back here with you," Foreman immediately defended.

"She doesn't want to come back," he said easily. "She's happy where she is, she's got daycare all set up for her kid and the hospital has already offered to put her in charge of their ER. She's only too happy to agree to that because she misses that kind of action. She misses that fast pace to things. In any case, do you understand what kind of commitment will be required of you if you _are_ hired to head up Diagnostics? Yeah, we got the program running, but once you have a team and the funding for it, a lot more will be required of you. It's going to be a big time commitment if you even _aspire _to reaching a point of being competitive with PPTH, now that I'm back here. You'll have to establish your _own _reputation by getting your name out there. You won't be able to just ride my coattails because of having trained with me. That kind of commitment has no appeal to Cameron and she lacks the drive to pull it off anyway. You don't. Plus you have no personal life so you've got the time to spare. Cameron and Chase are already talking about when they want to have their next baby."

Foreman narrowed his eyes in regards to the comment regarding his lack of a personal life, though it was true. He really didn't have one. That hadn't changed in the time House had been gone. Huffing out a breath after a second, he wryly eyed House before asking, "So by not asking me to come back on your service, you're doing me a favor?"

"I'm doing _myself _a favor," House replied drolly. "The last thing I want is _you _to be the one looking over my shoulder if the Board should decide to set their sights on someone else once Chase is promoted. That'd be a real pain in the…"

"Get your feet off my desk, House," Cuddy commanded as she reentered her office just then, coming to a stop to eye them both severely, her hands on her hips as House made no move to obey her. "Are you done yet or are you planning to _permanently _hijack my office?" she pressed.

He smirked but finally removed his feet from her desk before getting up. "Nope. I'm going home. Unlike you, I don't work here. _Yet."_

Foreman got to his feet as well and then surprised House by holding his hand out to shake. "Thanks," he said seriously when House sighed dramatically before taking his hand in a feigned stance of being put out, shaking it.

"Don't thank me yet," House mumbled wryly before watching Foreman exit Cuddy's office.

"What was that about?" Cuddy asked then, the door closing behind Foreman before she moved towards him, an eyebrow raised.

"Don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to," he replied with a trace of a smirk.

"Okay," she responded uncertainly as he closed the distance between them, his hands coming up to stroke up and down her arms.

Cuddy's eyes flicked between his eyes and his mouth and his smirk grew before he bent down to press a lingering kiss to her mouth. "I'll see you at home?" he asked against her lips after breaking their second kiss.

"Yeah," she murmured back even as her arms wrapped around his neck, going in for a third kiss.

He smirked, looking forward to monopolizing on this by being back, and she rolled her eyes as she released him to step back.

"Go home," she instructed in a mutter, though she eyed him with continued affection.

"Yes boss," he agreed readily, raising an eyebrow before turning and heading for the door without another word.

She watched him go and then sighed before moving to return to her chair. She just had a few more things to get done before she could follow him home.

* * *

February 9th, 2012

House was sitting in the living room reading a medical journal after the girls were in bed, researching an idea he had for a treatment he was hoping to do on his current patient, only too aware that Cuddy would want him to back up his reasoning and honestly wanting to give her that much this time round, after she'd been ticked at him for what he'd pulled with his first case back the week before, testing everything and everyone in order to see if he _could_ do this – actually return to Princeton-Plainsboro and make it work, but _not _by easing into things and behaving for a time first. No, he'd hit the ground running and… _then_ decided to ease back off the throttle once it was all in motion. Chase had actually been amused, at least at first; Cuddy not so much.

He glanced up then when she walked into the room and sank into the couch next to the chair he was currently in, but his mind was focused on what had just caught his interest in the case study he was reviewing and his eyes quickly returned to the page, his brow gathering behind his reading glasses as he frowned contemplatively.

Cuddy watched him covertly at first but then quite openly when she realized he truly was in his own little world. And for whatever reason she found she just couldn't leave him alone. She supposed it had to do with how irritated she'd been at him this last week but it wasn't like that had gotten in the way of their life at home. It certainly hadn't gotten in the way of their sex life, which surprisingly had gone off without a hitch, House being the great initiator of every sexual encounter they'd had over the course of that week, Cuddy a little too hesitant to make the first move considering her frustration level with him at work for testing his boundaries fully before applying the brakes and proving just how capable he was of cooperating and acting like an adult while at PPTH as well.

So then, with their sex life not having suffered of late, why was it that right now she was eyeing him like she was a thirsty wretch lost in the desert who had just found an oasis all her own? Perhaps it was the fault of those damn reading glasses. Being upset with him during work hours she'd avoided going to his office whenever she didn't absolutely have to, making Chase run interference, until House had apologized anyway and promised to settle down so she'd stop avoiding that had deprived her of seeing him like this, all focused, pure genius and oozing with… well, being way too sexy for his own good, let alone hers.

Wiggling her right foot slightly, she discarded the shoe that she'd had on, letting it fall to the floor. House didn't even seem to notice, his eyes continuing to move across the page, and Cuddy pouted, wanting his attention and now willing to do just about anything to get it.

The corner of her mouth slipping up in a chagrined smile, she bit her lip before slowly stretching her foot out and past his right leg to trail it up his left leg ever so tediously before her toes crept into the shorts he'd put on to lounge in, right at his knee, stopping there but then making circles with the pad of her foot along his lower inner thigh.

House lifted the medical journal to look at her foot and then lowered it to look at her over the rims of his glasses. "Are you flirting with me, Dr. Cuddy?" he asked suspiciously in a low tone of voice, one corner of his mouth carrying just the smallest trace of a smirk.

She chose not to answer but stared at him intently, her tongue moving over her lip as she slowly trailed her foot back down his leg and then replaced it on the floor.

One eyebrow quirked at her but he just shrugged, doing his best to ignore her tongue sliding over her lips, his medical journal going back up into the air before him, his eyes returning to it as he waited to see how this was going to play out.

Pouting somewhat, Cuddy let her other shoe drop to the floor with a thud but then slid to the edge of the couch before slipping off it completely, kneeling in front of him. She couldn't see his face from this position but she hoped that she still had 100% of his attention, even if he seemed to be engrossed in his journal at present. It would be awfully disappointing to think he could ignore her now.

Leaning forward slightly, the corners of her mouth rose, curving into a smile as she reached out in front of her for his foot, her fingers slipping below it to caress the arch before she brought her lips to his calf, her eyes closing as she slowly kissed along the length of it, her face curving down more once she reached his knee, her forehead resting against his leg right above it just where his shorts ended, her nose rubbing the lower part of his thigh before she readjusted the angle her face was at so as to press a kiss there, right at the crook of his knee before she lifted her lips, moved her head a centimeter, and then brought her lips back down, kissing his skin again.

The fingers of her right hand had been massaging his arch this whole time but now she slipped her fingers along the arch as she brought it back towards her and then turned her hand to place it on top of his foot, slowly trailing it on up his leg caressing his calf muscle before stroking his knee and then little by little moving his shorts up that leg, her lips following her hand. Unable to resist, she bit down just slightly exactly where his knee bent and then laved at his skin with her tongue to sooth the spot. She only opened her eyes when she heard House inhale a shaky breath and then looked up at him through her lashes as he threw the medical journal across the room heedlessly, pages fluttering, his eyes intent upon hers and lidded with responsive desire.

Cuddy broke eye contact with the sole purpose of checking out the front of his shorts, wanting to see the evidence of his attraction to her and know that she really did have his undivided attention now in every way, every part of him at attention, never failing to find her heart racing at the proof of just how she affected him, balanced somewhat by her gratitude at that fact. Tracing her tongue over her lower lip, she glanced back up at him and murmured, "I think it's you who is flirting with me, Dr. House."

"Me?" he incredulously declared in a gravelly tone, swallowing hard at how she'd just been looking at him. "What did _I_ do?"

Cuddy's mouth curved up before she moistened her upper lip, her eyes returning to his shorts even as her left hand came up to stroke him pointedly.

It took everything within him to suppress the groan that instantly climbed his throat and focus on how the fingers of her right hand were playing with the hair on his left leg rather than what her left hand was doing to his groin, cupping and squeezing.

"You know, House," she murmured softly. "The girls are asleep. We could be taking advantage of that fact…" she ended, her words trailing off.

"I think that's a good idea," he managed to reply, his voice cracking halfway through, forcing him to swallow again.

Cuddy smiled wickedly, sliding her hand slowly back down his thigh while House grumpily pouted at how she'd abandoned what she'd been doing but then looked at her hopefully as her hands dropped down, finding the hem of her shirt before she quickly pulled it up and over her head, tossing it at him and laughing when it fell on his head, House immediately reaching up to pull it off so he could see her without obstruction.

"Swallow," she told him teasingly as his eyes moved over her chest, a strangled groan leaving him, her breath catching when he actually did what she'd asked, apparently having needed to.

"Bedroom?" she asked in a needy whisper then, her own self-control flying out the window even without him touching her.

"I don't think I can wait," he answered honestly.

"Oh. _Oh._ Yeah okay. Yeah. Me neither," she managed to reply in little puffs of air as she hurriedly stripped off her slacks and underwear to save time while he undid his shorts and lifted up to shove them down his legs before he grabbed her upper arms and pulled her onto his lap, Cuddy's eyes fluttering partway closed repeatedly as she tried to breathe, even while climbing on top of him carefully so as to not hurt him.

"Front clasp, front clasp," she instructed breathlessly after his hands fumbled about behind her for a second trying to remove her bra, his teeth biting down on her neck.

"Can we make this work?" she whimpered a second later as he hurled her bra across the room, his hands quickly returning to her flesh to cup and knead. "I think we can get creative. _Oooh._ If we need to. I should be… aah… flexible enough. But… can we make this work?"

"We're damn well gonna try," he muttered in her ear before catching her face in his hands to hungrily find her lips and reconnect their mouths once more, no more words being necessary.

* * *

February 14th, 2012

House was sitting on the couch with his legs up on the coffee table, a miserable Rachel sprawled out across his chest, the little girl flushed from her fever. He stroked his fingers through her hair as they both watched The Little Mermaid, Rachel drowsy and House mulling over what he was going to do now that his plans for tonight were a no go.

Cuddy had stayed home with Rachel yesterday and today he had, the two of them alternating so that she didn't fall behind with everything on her plate and he could keep an eye on his current patient, Skyping this morning with his team before he'd sent them off to run tests, spending the rest of the day communicating with them via phone calls and texts. Now he was waiting for Cuddy to come home with Evie, who had spent yesterday and today with Evelyn at her house so that they only had to keep her occupied and away from Rachel in the evenings rather than try and manage a sick kid and an overly rambunctious toddler, all at once. Evelyn had offered to just keep her overnight but…

His cellphone rang and he hit the button to connect the call before bringing it to his ear. "Yeah?" he mumbled lowly, not wanting to disturb Rachel who he was pretty sure had just fallen asleep, knocked out due to the meds she was on.

"House? You're home with Rachel, right? Could I… Could I come over maybe? I… really need to talk to you about something," Erika murmured, House's eyebrow raising at the uncertain quality to her voice.

"Yeah, come on over," he readily invited. "But use your key. I'm trapped under my sick kid at present. You'll find us in the living room."

"Okay," she agreed with a sigh of relief, her smile coming across over the phone. "I'll be over in a minute. Thanks."

"No problem," he replied before disconnecting the call, tossing his phone down on the next cushion over before reaching for the remote to turn down the volume of the TV, though he left the movie playing, just in case Rachel wasn't completely out.

Five minutes later the front door opened and closed and House turned his head to watch Erika enter the room.

He whistled at how she was dressed, clearly going out with Wilson tonight as she had her hair up and a sleek red dress on that clung to her form in a very flattering way. But his expression changed as he saw a smile just briefly waver on her lips, not quite reaching her eyes before she came his way, moving his cellphone to sink down on the couch beside him once she'd noted that Rachel was asleep.

"How is she doing?" Erika asked with concern and perhaps a trace of avoidance as to why she'd come by.

"She's fine. It's just the flu. She'll be better in no time. Now what's wrong?" he immediately redirected, causing her to sigh heavily and then lean into him more once she'd adjusted the hem of her dress, huffing out a laugh as she swiped at an errant tear that had begun its descent down her cheek at his question.

"Your couch is a lot more comfortable," she commented absently under her breath.

"Nice try but you're still not getting rid of that couch," he quipped dryly, causing her to laugh softly again.

Then she shook her head in momentary turmoil but managed to say, "I feel like a wreck. This is so unlike me. But… Um… I…"

"Just spit it out," he told her, not unkindly as he brought an arm down around her, his hand settling on her arm, rubbing it awkwardly in comfort, not used to being the one doing the comforting where she was concerned, their couch conversations generally having centered upon _his _issues and problems.

She turned her head to meet his gaze, biting her lip as she sucked in a breath and tried to pull herself together, blinking rapidly. Finally she murmured, "I think James is going to propose tonight."

He stared at her for a moment, working through that announcement. "Isn't that supposed to be a good thing?" he ultimately chose to inquire, having assumed she knew this day was coming even if he himself hadn't known when.

She nodded, looking down before reestablishing eye contact. Then she pursed her lips before disclosing, "I'm pregnant. A month along maybe. I'm not sure. I have an appointment for next week."

His eyes widened in surprise, Erika managing to laugh wryly at that before she breathed out heavily once more.

"I wasn't going to say anything. I mean, I've been trying to figure out how to tell James. I was going to tell _him _first," she mumbled with a roll of her eyes for that plan going out the window. "But… He's been acting rather… _oddly _the last few days and… Then I thought maybe he'd seen the box for the pregnancy test I took, in taking out the trash for me last week and had been thrown by this development. I buried it but… maybe he could see it through the bag in the trash settling and shifting. I thought maybethat was why he was acting strangely. I _still _think that might be part of it. But he didn't bring it up and with him acting so… nervous I guess… I wasn't sure I was ready to tell him and be confronted by how he felt about it, in case he wasn't… all that _enthused_ by this happening now. We've always put off the topic of children as something we'd just… deal with down the road, as either way, neither one of us had an absolute _need _to have children, or in my case, another child, and neither of us was opposed to the idea either. And then last night he said something vague about the future and… I just... I'm 99% positive he's going to ask me to marry him tonight. But… I don't know how I feel about that."

House released his own breath, glancing down briefly at Rachel as she adjusted herself more into him but didn't wake. Returning his eyes to Erika he asked, "So… do you not _want _to marry him?"

"So he _is _going to ask me tonight?" she volleyed back, swallowing hard as she watched his expression solemnly.

"I have no idea," House acknowledged, shaking his head.

"But didn't you tell me long ago that he'd talk to you _before_ proposing?" Erika queried in confusion now.

His brow gathered but then he shrugged. "I only saw him for about five minutes yesterday. I guess he _was _acting a little weird but… I was distracted by having a sick kid at home and he came into my office while I was on the phone with Cuddy. He… paced back and forth for a minute but then he just turned around and left. I didn't see him after that," he admitted.

"Do you think he was acting that way because he knows I'm pregnant or because he's going to propose?" she couldn't help asking him to give his opinion.

He gave her a look, his mouth twitching wryly, and then shook his head. "I think if he knew you were pregnant, _I _would have known you were pregnant before you told me. I don't know if he could keep that in. But I didn't know. And I don't think he would be nervous so much as pleased, unless he believed you weren't happy about it. Are you happy about it?" he inquired pointedly, studying her intently.

She blinked in surprise at the question but hesitantly nodded. "I… I certainly didn't intend for this to happen. But when I didn't get my period like clockwork I immediately… _knew. _Being late was a definite alarm bell for me. The test just confirmed it. But… Yes. I'm happy. I think. I guess I'm a little worried about his reaction. And Trevor's, of course. On top of that, I'd never expected to find myself pregnant and husbandless at the time but…"

"So… if Wilson is proposing, that's a good thing, right?" House interjected probingly, an eyebrow raised.

Erika scrunched her eyes closed before exhaling harshly, then tried to explain, "It's fine. I mean, six months ago I still wasn't… ready. And I think he knew that. Even as much as I do love him, three failed marriages gives a girl pause. Especially when I really believe that marriage is forever and my first marriage ended in my husband's death rather than divorce. It also… felt like I was betraying Ben or something by moving on, even if I know he'd want that for me. Now though, well, I'm ready. I am. But I just… I don't want him to ask me because I'm _pregnant _and he feels obligated_. _Even if I don't want to have this baby and _not _be married first. Call me old-fashioned but…"

"Okay, so just to clarify," House mumbled once she'd trailed off, "If he'd asked you a week ago, you'd have said yes?"

"Yes," she agreed with a nod.

"And now do you want to say no?" he queried, his bewilderment obvious in his expression.

"No, I still want to say yes," Erika corrected. "I just… What if he's not ready? What if he's only asking me because…"

House cut her off with a shake of his head. "This is the longest Wilson has ever been in a relationship and waited to ask someone to marry him. That doesn't mean he hasn't been thinking about it though. He said something about getting you an engagement ring back when I proposed to Cuddy. So… he's _had _that intention Erika. This isn't something that happened overnight. He's just been biding his time, probably, as you implied, waiting for you to be on the same page. Yeah, normally he'd clue me in to his plans first. But… I would guess he's sure about what he's doing this time. He hasn't rushed into popping the question anyway. That's a good thing, right? Maybe yesterday he _was _going to bring it up and just didn't get the chance since I was occupied when he stopped in. But either way, if you want to say yes, say yes. He's not proposing out of obligation. It would just figure he'd choose _Valentine's Day _out of all the options available to him," he muttered snidely then, "to be a cliché, but…"

"Hey, don't insult him," Erika interrupted, flicking his arm with her finger so as not to disturb Rachel. "I don't mind if he wants to propose on Valentine's Day. That doesn't bother me. It's… sweet."

House rolled his eyes but didn't reply immediately. Finally he snorted and asked dryly, "Wanna split the costs and do a double wedding?"

She laughed, giving him a look before shaking her head. "No," she negated. "But Lisa might want to reconsider having me in her wedding now."

He shrugged dismissively. "So you'll be pregnant, maybe even four and a half _months_ pregnant. So what? You can get a dress that's loose on you. Just don't blimp out on us."

"Thank you so much for your sweet and extremely thoughtful advice," she wryly retorted, though she sighed and reclined her head back upon his arm, staring up at the ceiling now.

"Do you feel better?" he asked a minute later.

"Yes," she admitted with a small nod before turning her head to look at him again. "I promise I'm not usually like this. Even while pregnant."

He shrugged and she laughed when he wryly replied, "Eh, you're Wilson's problem. Not mine."

"Where's Trevor, anyway?" he inquired then.

She sighed but answered, "Spending the night at a friend's house. I know it's a school night but… it just made more sense, considering that I've been… wrestling with this since James left for work this morning and I have no clue how tonight is going to go down."

"Well, you could always tell him you're pregnant before he pops the question," House said with a shrug.

"Before we go out?" she asked doubtfully. "If he doesn't know, that might ruin whatever he's got planned for tonight. No. I'll… wait and see if he brings it up. If he doesn't, then I'll tell him once we're home."

"Or I could just call him up and insult him in advance for choosing to propose on Valentine's Day. He wouldn't have to know you're aware of his plans. And maybe I can buy you time to share your news before he asks or find out if he's already in the know," he proffered.

"Thanks but… I've got this," she assured him just as the back door opened and closed behind Cuddy who had obviously just gotten home.

"House? We're home. How's Rachel doing?" Cuddy asked worriedly as her heels clacked closer. "House?"

"Sleeping," he answered when she finally came into view so that he wouldn't wake Rachel up.

She drew to a sudden stop at the sight of them before she smiled, setting Evie down on the floor when she squirmed to get loose. "Oh hi Erika. How are you?" she asked then.

"Dada!" Evie called out happily, moving to run his way until Cuddy caught her and held her back so she wouldn't get too close to Rachel and awaken her.

"Hey Lisa," Erika greeted with a smile as she got to her feet, shooting a smile back at House before reaching out to stroke Evie's cheek. "I'm fine. How are you?"

"Good. I'm good. You look lovely. Big plans tonight?" Cuddy asked with a smile and an eyebrow raised as she tilted her head slightly.

"Yes, James and I…"

"Are getting engaged tonight, apparently," House interrupted to interject, Erika immediately gasping as she turned to look back at him, wide-eyed at him just announcing that _unconfirmed _information so easily.

_"House!"_ Cuddy instantly bit out in reproach, her expression reflecting her disbelief _and _disapproval. _"How could you? _ I told him not to tell you. I can't believe Wilson confided his plans to you and the first thing you do is…"

Then all eyes were on Cuddy as she realized she was acknowledging that she knew something too, her hand clapping to her mouth, freeing Evie to scramble away from her, climbing up onto the couch next to her daddy who absently reached to draw her up beside him even if his eyes never left Cuddy's, his quirked eyebrow revealing his unspoken thoughts as Erika drew up straight, taken aback.

House chuckled disbelievingly while Erika stared at Cuddy. "So he is going to ask me tonight?" she verified softly.

"Oh no," Cuddy breathed wryly before reluctantly nodding her head. Then she bit her lip, resignedly mumbling, "I can't believe I just gave that away. But you… you already knew, right? House told you?"

"I told him actually," Erika admitted wryly. "That I had my suspicions anyway."

"Does he know she's preggers?" House queried next with a raised eyebrow, wondering just how much Cuddy knew and what kind of fount of information she'd now prove to be.

"What? _No!" _she breathed out, her eyes wide in shock as her gaze flicked from House to Erika who was looking at him with mild irritation for just blurting out _all _her news like that.

"You're pregnant?" Cuddy asked as if to confirm House was being truthful with her. "Wilson's going to be a father?"

Erika's expression softened but she nodded, smiling softly.

"See? Then he's not proposing just because you're carrying his kid," House pointed out with a shrug as if everything was good now and she could say yes without hesitation. "He's just as in the dark as ever."

Erika rubbed a hand over her face, shaking her head, while Cuddy just gave him a look, her brow drawn as she continued to process all of this.

_"Congratulations," _she thought to say then.

"Thank you," Erika murmured, a smile starting to curve up the corners of her mouth before  
she shook her head again at the smirk on House's face. "Last time I confide anything to you," she dryly informed him.

He chuckled but retorted, "Hey, I found out what you needed to know, didn't I?"

She rolled her eyes. "I better go. I still have to finish getting ready before he shows up. And before anyone else finds out that James is proposing and I'm pregnant. I still need to tell _him, _after all."

House laughed but she just turned and headed for the door with a sigh of disbelief. Cuddy watched her leave the room but then headed for House as the front door closed behind her, allowing Evie to stand between them on the couch as she turned her head to look at him, House's hand finding its way under her hair to massage her neck, trusting Cuddy would keep Evie from falling.

"I can't believe I just gave Wilson away," she mumbled with an accompanying groan then.

"Eh," House replied with a shrug. "She was already suspicious. What I want to know is what you meant by saying you told Wilson not to tell me."

She smiled but wryly corrected, "Technically I told him he didn't need to consult you first but should just go ahead and do what felt right. I think he only came to me because you weren't there and he wanted my opinion regarding the ring he'd purchased."

House nodded but then rubbed a hand over his face as Evie plopped down into her mommy's lap. "I _did _have plans for tonight," he informed her wryly. "Just so you know."

She smiled, scooting closer to him to fill the space Evie had just vacated before stroking a hand over Rachel's head to check her temperature. "It's okay," she responded, glancing up at him with a smile. "We can always do something another night. Tonight we're needed here. But… just so you know," she murmured with a coy look, waiting to make sure she had his complete attention. "I _still _have plans for tonight, once the girls are asleep, assuming Rachel is doing a bit better and isn't in with us like last night."

"Mmm," he hummed with interest. "Will I like these plans?" he inquired then, an eyebrow raised as his thumb began to trace circles on her neck, rather than knead it.

"I think you will," she told him quietly, biting her lip before stroking her hand ever so slowly over his thigh beside her. "I think you will."

He smirked but then leaned towards her to kiss her, Cuddy raising her face to him and cupping his cheek, her eyes closing, the kiss only drawing to a close when Evie complained from her lap at the lack of attention being paid her.

* * *

March 11th, 2012

Cuddy leaned into House, his arm up on the back of the living room couch behind her as they sat there together, Rachel and Evie playing on the floor.

"Where do you want to go for our honeymoon?" she asked him, this being the question that they kept coming back to, plenty of ideas being thrown out but neither of them actually making a decision. "And what are we going to do? Are we leaving the girls with mom and dad or are we… taking them with?"

House grunted, knowing that was the real question. It wasn't that he didn't want a week alone with Cuddy. He did. It wasn't that he didn't want to go away either, taking her someplace special. He wanted that too. He just… didn't want to commit to being away from the girls that long, even less if it meant being out of the country and more than a day of travel away, should something happen.

He knew Evelyn and Richard were willing to come and stay with the girls, as well as Cookie Monster; that they'd do so gladly. His own mother had also offered to take the girls for them, or to even share responsibilities. _That _sounded like a natural disaster waiting to happen, not that he didn't believe Evelyn was capable of finding a way to avert disaster if they_ were_ to all jointly take care of the girls but...

A week wasn't that long. Right? The girls would be fine for a week. And he could handle that. After all, he and Cuddy would take full advantage of the time alone and… it would probably be good for them to have that time together. That's what Evelyn kept telling him anyway, apparently already having _plans _with the girls for what they'd do if they had them for a week.

Sighing, he rubbed a hand over his face before resignedly mumbling, "Your parents can stay with the girls."

"Yeah?" she asked in surprise, sliding her head down his chest somewhat so that she could look up at him.

He looked down at her, pursing his lips, but nodded.

"Okay," she murmured, moistening her lips. "Then how long would you like to be away?"

"Well any longer than a week Cuddy and the kids won't even remember us when we return," he replied dryly.

She smiled, rolling her eyes for him before adjusting her position so that she was further sprawled out on the couch, her head in his lap. "So you're okay with being away for a week?" she verified, just to be sure.

He hesitated but then nodded, glancing at the girls before he brought a hand to Cuddy's head, stroking her hair when she turned to look at the girls as he had.

"They'll be okay without us," she reassured. "Mom and dad will be fine."

House looked at his little monsters and watched as Evie once more knocked down the tower Rachel had been working on, Rachel looking at her little sister with a slight pout but then smiling reluctantly when Evie giggled and clapped her hands.

"Again! Again!" Evie demanded excitedly, rocking up and down on her bottom.

"No knocking them down, Evie," Rachel told her before complying, scooting away though before she actually started stacking blocks again.

Cuddy smiled and House watched her watch the girls for a moment.

"Ugh, in another couple weeks she'll be eighteen months, House. How can that be possible?" she protested, her gaze trained on Evie.

"And it's almost been a year since you came here," he added, musing briefly over how far they'd come in that time.

She swallowed hard but then turned her head to look up at him, dislodging his fingers from her hair.

"Kiss me," she whispered up to him.

His mouth quirked but House griped all the same, "Angle's too awkward."

"House," she pressed, barely speaking his name, lifting herself slightly so that she could meet him halfway if he'd put in the effort.

He huffed and shook his head but then his smirk grew and he bent to comply, kissing her as she'd requested.

"No!" Rachel protested whiningly as all her blocks went crashing back to the ground.

"Yes! Yes!" Evie exclaimed happily. "Down, down go! Again! Again!"

"_Daddy!" _Rachel whined, pushing herself up to drag herself over to him, her posture one of defeat.

He smiled against Cuddy's mouth but lifted his head to look from one daughter to the next.

"Evie knock down my tower again," Rachel complained, looking morose.

"Again! Again, Ray-Ray!" Evie shouted from behind her. "Again!"

Cuddy hid a smile as House pursed his mouth, raising an eyebrow at Evie before concentrating on Rachel. "Do you want me to take her?" he finally asked.

Rachel nodded, reaching up to shove her hair back out of her face before giving him a smile.

He sighed but when Cuddy sat up he got to his feet and went to retrieve Evie.

"Dada, no! Play! Play! Play!" Evie chanted, even as he carted her away to let Rachel play in peace.

"We've got to take Cookie Monster out," he told her to distract her, shooting Cuddy a dry look as she watched him, biting her lip, a hand supporting her face.

"Puppy?" Evie asked, eyes widening as they headed for the kitchen. "Woof! Woof!"

"Woof, woof," House drolly echoed, tossing her up before buzzing her neck with his lips.

When they came back into the living room, House asked wryly, "What I want to know is what you're going to do with this kid's hair."

"For the wedding?" Cuddy asked for clarification, an eyebrow raised.

House nodded.

She eyed Evie, pursing her lips. Evie's hair had now surpassed Cuddy's in curliness. It was darling when it was wet or had just dried but by the end of the day her hair left Cuddy shaking her head in disbelief at how it could end up that wild and untamed. Unless she could sneak some product into it of course, which House grumbled about her doing but… appeared to be getting better about letting her do anyway, if only to manage it.

"I could cut it," she suggested for effect, mainly to garner a reaction.

"_No,"_ he firmly negated, giving her a dirty look.

She smiled. Shrugging a shoulder she said, "Then you'll have to let me put something in it to tame her curls. And we'll bring a spray bottle to wet it down and redo it, if we need to."

House grunted but said nothing more, swinging Evie back and forth to occupy her a little longer.

"Mommy, can we go outside?" Rachel piped up to ask.

Cuddy cringed. "Honey, it's all muddy out there from the rain this past week," she replied, shaking her head.

Rachel pouted but got up to run and retrieve her little people to place them around her tower.

"What are you making?" House asked when she returned, settling Evie on his shoulders, holding her in place as she happily patted his head.

"This is my castle," Rachel informed him happily. "And these be the people who _live _in my castle," she added, showing him each one as she put them carefully on her blocks or nearby them. "The king, the queen, the prince and princess. And this is the cook. Because somebody has to cook for them."

"What does he cook?" House couldn't resist asking, already guessing at the answer.

"Mmm… sometimes pizza an' mac and cheese but mostly cookies. In my castle they eat _a lot _of cookies. They can eat as many cookies as they wants to," she answered with a big grin.

"Cookie!" Evie echoed, pulling at her daddy's hair until he winced and carefully removed her hands before removing _her_ altogether.

Cuddy laughed wryly, meeting House's gaze as he readjusted Evie against his chest.

He stepped carefully around Rachel to grab a ball before he settled down on the floor beside Cuddy where she sat on the couch. Then he placed Evie before him as she excitedly called, "Ball! Ball! Play!"

It went well for a time, House playing with Evie and the ball while Rachel kept at it with her blocks, Cuddy's fingers raking through House's hair to fix it before her hand wound up on the back of his neck, scratching her fingernails absently along his nape. But then Evie grabbed the ball and instead of rolling or throwing it to her daddy, she tossed it Rachel's way before he could stop her and playtime was over, just like that.

The tower promptly came crashing down and Rachel dissolved into tears. Cuddy quickly got up and went to her.

"Evie knock down my castle!" Rachel sobbed against Cuddy's shoulder. "She ruined it!"

"Shh," Cuddy soothed. "We can build it again, Rachel."

"_Noooo._ She just ruin it again!" Rachel cried. "She always ruin it!"

"She's not trying to make you mad," Cuddy murmured, rubbing Rachel's back. "She's just little yet and knocking things down is more fun for her than building them up."

House made a wry face, his oldest clearly being tired and at her limit. Noticing his youngest rubbing her eyes though, he got to his feet and said, "Evie should go down for her nap anyway."

Cuddy glanced his way and nodded. "Rachel, Evie's going to go take a nap. How about we put your rain boots on and I'll take you outside like you wanted."

"Okay," Rachel agreed with a sniff, nodding against Cuddy's shoulder.

"Side?" Evie piped up with interest.

"Not for you," House dryly informed her, picking her up and tossing her lightly in the air before he carted her off in the direction of her bedroom.

When he stepped out on the deck ten minutes later, joining Cuddy at the railing as Rachel played on her swing set, Monster happily trotting around in the yard, she returned to their earlier topic. "So… the honeymoon, any ideas?"

He shrugged. "Are you wanting to go somewhere tropical? Somewhere you can lie out on the beach?"

"Honestly," she murmured after a moment before looking at him to judge his expression as she continued, "I was kind of entertaining the idea of us going down to Savannah, even if only for a few days."

"Are you even legally allowed to go back there?" he quipped, smirking when she narrowed her eyes at him.

"I just… I think it would be nice if we… made some _new _memories there," she responded, ignoring his teasing. "But I'd understand if you'd prefer not to."

"I don't have a problem with that," House negated, looking away only briefly to check on Rachel before he returned his attention to her. "It's our spot, Cuddy, regardless of what happened last year."

She smiled, slightly relieved to have him confirm he still felt that way. "Maybe we could drive through Savannah and spend the rest of our time at Sea Island," she suggested. "I've never been but… I've looked at the website. We could stay at The Cloister or maybe rent a cottage so we have more… _privacy,"_ she finished softly, her hand coming up to stroke along his bicep as she bit her lip, watching him intently now.

He chuckled, watching her hand for a second before his eyes met hers. Pursing his mouth and testing the waters a little, he mumbled, "I think you're ovulating."

She gasped and then shoved him halfheartedly.

"What?" he replied with a look. "You're seriously touching me all the time right now. And you know that in the back of your mind you're thinking, trying to figure out how long it will be before you can get me alone again. I'm telling you, your body is crying out for some baby-making. Maybe it's jealous of Erika and wants to follow suit."

Cuddy scoffed, narrowing her eyes at him. Expelling a breath she turned back to check on Rachel but dismissed, "Well even if I am ovulating, and I'm not saying I am, my body can cry out all it wants but it won't change the fact that there will be no more baby-making for me. I'm pretty sure my eggs have all corroded. Evie was a fluke."

"Don't call my kid a fluke," he protested, giving her a dark look.

"House," she murmured pointedly, "I'm only saying getting pregnant and remaining that way was a _miracle_. There won't be another."

"You don't give your eggs enough credit," he muttered as if he took offense on their behalf.

She laughed but rolled her eyes. "I'm not young anymore, House," she acknowledged wryly. "And before you comment, you're not either."

"Yeah but I'm not too old for baby-making," he quipped, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Well _this _baby maker has gone out of business," she retorted before biting her lip and eyeing him. "But... I'll still invite you inside tonight and give you a tour, even show you a good time," she teasingly offered.

He leaned down and kissed her softly before she got called away by Rachel. He watched her go, contemplating her. They hadn't been using protection in all this time but when he'd thought about it, which hadn't been all that often, the potential for something happening had never made him feel inclined to do anything to prevent it. Thinking about it now, he had to admit he liked the idea. Oh, he definitely liked the idea of proving her wrong. He was certainly up for the challenge. But… there was something about the idea of giving Cuddy another chance at being pregnant and this time, _enjoying _it, him right along with her, that had him seriously entertaining whether or not he could make it happen. Obviously, she hadn't really thought he was genuinely interested in having another child. Otherwise she would have reacted differently, undoubtedly worrying about disappointing him. And he wouldn't bring it back up either, because even if he convinced her it was _possible,_ he didn't want to set her up for a disappointment if she wasn't able to conceive again. But… if he _were _to get her pregnant, _without _clarifying that was his intention, then… Hmm. It wasn't like they weren't already going at it like bunnies. So what would have to change? She wouldn't be suspicious. So long as he kept his mouth shut.

Yeah, he decided definitively. He was going to get Cuddy knocked up again. Or at least have a hell of a time trying. And as long as she wasn't already pregnant and craving sex because of it, getting pregnant now shouldn't be an issue, the wedding being fairly soon, her wedding dress probably safe from drastic alterations. Already pregnant. Now there was a thought.

* * *

April 26th, 2012

"You what?" Cuddy asked in surprise, staring at House where he stood before her, having entered her office to talk with her about a treatment she'd objected to, but now having switched themes entirely.

He shrugged before casually repeating, "I'm writing my own vows."

House smiled slightly when she just stood there behind her desk, blinking rapidly as if she couldn't quite piece together the meaning of the words he'd said.

"I thought we were just going to say the traditional ones," she finally replied after moistening her lips. "I thought that's what you wanted."

"But now I've thought about it more and… I want to do something different. But you still can. I'm not telling you that you have to write your own vows," he clarified. "I've just decided I… want to."

"Is it because you take issue with the honor and respect part?" she queried teasingly when she'd had time to process what he was saying, her mouth pursed wryly, still thrown by his announcement but now trying to access where his motivation lie.

He smirked but shook his head. "That part wasn't even _in_ the traditional vows we were looking at. I assume because _you _had no intention of promising that," he retorted with a roll of his eyes.

She bit her lip, smiling at _him_ having reached that conclusion.

"I just… since I'm only going to be doing this once, since I'm even doing this _at all," _House added dryly, "I want to do my own thing. I want to make it personal."

"Personal," she repeated as if testing the taste of the word in her mouth.

He nodded.

"Personal _how?" _she pressed for clarification.

"Relevant to us. That's all," he dismissed.

"But what are you going to _say?"_ Cuddy inquired curiously and _perhaps _semi-fearfully.

House's smirk was pronounced. "That's for me to know and you to find out after walking down that aisle."

"How do I know I can trust you?" she dubiously asked then, eyeing him.

"To do a good job or to not embarrass you?" he queried, his mouth quirking.

"_Both," _she wryly threw out, though in truth, if he wanted to do this she _did _trust him to do a good job with his vows. It was how creative he'd get that concerned her.

Surprising her, he sobered. "Because when you're asked if you take this man to be your husband, I'll want you to say yes. I'll want you to _want _to say yes."

Cuddy swallowed hard but after a long moment nodded her consent, murmuring, "Okay."

House smiled.

"Does that apply to my treatment too?" he tossed out flippantly then, already turning for the door.

She felt only slightly suckered for saying, "I guess. Just make sure you personally are there monitoring his vitals throughout your experiment. And don't push him too hard!"

House pulled open the door but turned to shoot her a grin. "I give you my word. I won't leave his side. And I won't make you regret it either."

She rolled her eyes and waved him out of her office, waiting for the door to the clinic to close behind him before she sighed wearily. She had one month to figure out what she was going to say in her vows then. Because contrary to what House thought she _could _do, she didn't foresee going with the traditional vows when he was doing his own thing. One more thing to add to her list of things to do. She supposed she should just be grateful that they'd ended up with a little more time to plan this wedding than they'd initially discussed, Clark's Landing having been booked solid through the summer every weekend but having then lucked out with a cancellation, House's contact calling them just as they were checking out their seventh potential venue, not having found anything that really worked well for them yet.

Distracted now, she flipped through her planner to double-check where she was at in wedding arrangements before she hesitantly moved her mouse over her computer screen, opening up a blank Word document and staring at it thoughtfully.

* * *

May 15th, 2012

House stepped into the bathroom and stared at Cuddy, frowning as she hovered on her knees over the toilet.

"Are you okay?" he asked her after a moment.

She groaned but sat back on the tiles, lifting her head to look at him. "I just felt nauseous for a moment. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think it's just the stress of working out final details regarding the wedding. I promise you House, it isn't cold feet."

He looked taken aback at that pronouncement but then inquired with an eyebrow raised, "Did you think it was?"

Her eyes widened as she looked at him before she shook her head adamantly. "No! I just… don't want you to worry. I think I'm just stressed and… my body is reacting to that. Or maybe it was something I ate, but I think once this wedding is behind us I might sleep for a week. I'm exhausted."

"That is definitely _not _on my agenda for our honeymoon," House wryly informed her.

She smiled. "After the honeymoon then," she quipped teasingly.

He watched as she got up, looking at the medicine cabinet, and moved to cut her off, pulling out the Tylenol for her rather than the Aspirin. "Headache?" he asked as he handed the bottle to her.

"Just a small one," she murmured, surprised that he'd caught that.

He reached for a cup and filled it with water before passing it to her.

"Thank you," she said sweetly, pressing a kiss to his cheek before turning to down the pill. "You really don't have to worry though. I promise I'm fine."

He hid a smirk but then dismissively said, "I'm not worried. There's nothing wrong with you that hasn't been wrong with women since the beginning of time."

"What does _that _mean?" Cuddy asked sharply, turning to look at him, an eyebrow raised.

He laughed but replied, "I'm not insulting you. Relax. You'll be fine Cuddy. In a couple weeks we'll be on our honeymoon and… I'll even think about letting you sleep from time to time."

She rolled her eyes at him but pursed her lips. "I hope you plan to exhaust me first though," she couldn't resist acknowledging.

"I thought you were _already _exhausted," he wryly countered before he moved towards her and then lifted her up so that she was sitting on the counter.

She smiled up at him as he moved his hands down her waist to her legs, wrapping them around him. Once he was satisfied, his arms went around her, pressing her against him. Kissing her then, he waited only a moment before slowly trailing kisses along her jaw and down her neck, smirking against her skin when she moaned and rocked into him.

"House, we've got to get dressed before the kids wake up," she mumbled, even while stretching her neck to receive more attention.

"Mmm, but you're so responsive," he said against her pulse point, biting down briefly before he headed for her collarbone. "We have time."

"No we don't," she disagreed, but regardless, her arms wound around his neck as she gasped with need, forcing him closer still before demanding, "Okay but we've got to hurry."

* * *

May 25th, 2012

Cuddy bit her lip, leaning back against the door, one hand behind her flat on the wood and the other on the doorknob, House standing before her, leaning over her, one hand high on the doorframe and the other to the left of her head, effectively pinning her in. She knew she was supposed to turn the doorknob, say goodnight and go inside, but she was reluctant to do so. And House didn't seem in any hurry either. But perhaps that was a given.

He'd left the girls with Wilson and Erika back at the hotel the majority of the wedding party was all staying at, to take Cuddy to the hotel she was going to stay overnight at, her parents having a room right down the hall from her, planning to take her to the yacht club in the morning to get ready onboard a yacht off a nearby pier with her bridesmaids while House and the girls were to get ready at the hotel, supposedly with Wilson overseeing everything.

In part this was Evelyn's idea, as she had insisted if Cuddy planned to stick with tradition in not having him see her before the wedding, then they needed to stay in two separate hotels, just to be safe. House had rolled his eyes but reluctantly agreed, thinking it was probably best anyway to avoid the temptation of knowing she was near but off-limits. So Cuddy and her parents were staying at the Courtyard on Juniper, across the state line in Philadelphia, while House and the girls, along with the wedding party stayed at Aloft Mount Laurel, closer to where the wedding would take place since they had the kids with them.

"You should probably go back to the girls," Cuddy murmured without conviction, looking up at him.

He smirked down at her but mumbled, "Erika promised she'd get the girls to bed for me as we were heading out the door. Why do you think I agreed to connecting suites? This way, I don't have to rush back."

She swallowed hard, her eyes flicking from his eyes to his mouth, thinking she had a fairly good idea of his intentions and nowhere within her disposed to turning him away, even if she'd already told him they were now abstaining from sex until _after_ the wedding to build up anticipation and all before their wedding night.

His mouth twitched with the way she was focusing on his lips and wetting her own lips with anticipation. He slowly began lowering his mouth to claim hers and then they kissed leisurely against her door, Cuddy's arms finding their way up his chest to wrap around his neck, bringing him closer to her as they switched angles, never breaking the kiss, both of them with eyes closed as they fully surrendered to it.

"_You're not supposed to be here,"_ Evelyn sing-songed at House as she passed.

Cuddy smiled against his mouth and then pulled back slightly as she opened her eyes to glance after her mother, House sighing wryly.

Evelyn didn't turn back but she called over her shoulder. "You better not be here in five minutes, Greg. I'll be back to check."

Cuddy laughed but refocused her attention on House, kissing him again, this time chastely.

When the door to Evelyn and Richard's hotel room closed though, House immediately capitalized on it, pressing Cuddy up eagerly against her door again with his body intimately against her, kissing her hard, asking entrance into her mouth, not about to waste his five minutes if that was to be all he had.

She pushed him away but only to mumble, "I can't believe I'm doing this," as she turned to unlock her door, House pressing up against her back and making it all the harder for her to open the door as her breath stuttered when he pushed her hair out of his way so as to kiss her neck. When she did succeed in getting the door open she immediately stepped inside before turning back to him, reaching for him and pulling him in with a tight grip on his t-shirt.

"When she comes back you have to hide," she murmured between kisses, House pressing her into the nearby wall now.

"I will," he promised as they stumbled across the room and into another wall, House's hands sliding up her shirt, tickling her sides as he deepened their kiss.

They froze when Evelyn knocked on the door a couple minutes later and then both looked around rather desperately before sharing a chagrined look over behaving this way at their age, House slipping into the closet though while Cuddy tried to straighten her clothes and rifle a hand through her now mussed hair, calling out, "Coming, mom."

She grinned when House rolled his eyes before closing the closet door silently. Then she tried to tone down her smile, cringing when she saw how flushed her cheeks and throat were in her reflection in glancing at the mirror nearby. Sucking in a breath she opened the door for her mother.

"Hi," she said softly with a smile, trying not to be too awkward.

Evelyn eyed her knowingly and then brushed past her to enter the room, Cuddy biting her lip, wide-eyed as she watched her mom glance around, actually going so far as to check in the bathroom. "Did he go?" Evelyn asked then, turning to look at her.

"Yeah," she affirmed with a nod of her head. After all, he had gone. _Into the closet._

For effect Evelyn leaned over and checked under the bed.

"Mom, I hardly think House would fit under the bed," Cuddy muttered dryly before suggesting, "The closet would be a better place for him. Do you feel the need to look there too?"

Evelyn narrowed her eyes at her daughter but shook her head slowly. "You should go to bed soon, honey," she said then. "You've got a big day tomorrow. You're supposed to get your beauty rest."

"Okay mom," she agreed with a nod, holding her breath as her mom moved towards the door, apparently satisfied.

Evelyn opened the door and then paused to look back at her daughter who was closely trailing her, smiling wryly in realizing she was in effect, rushing her mother out the door.

"Tell him he has an hour before I come back again," she stated flatly, shaking her head, her mouth pursing in a mixture of slight disapproval and quite a bit of amusement. "If he's still here, at that point I'll send for Richard."

Caught, Cuddy looked down but then up at her mother once more before smiling abashedly. "Yes mom," she murmured with a nod.

"You never were very good at lying to me, Lisa. I don't know why you even bothered trying," she said wryly before shaking her head and heading out the door. "You _are _an adult now, after all."

Cuddy cringed but didn't say anything, waiting until her mother was out of sight before she closed the door.

Turning back she found House already out of the closet. "You suck at lying to your mom," he muttered then.

She made a whiny sound but dropped her hand from the door behind her to slowly make her way back to him. "One hour," she whispered before kissing him softly, smiling against his lips before proffering, "Want to make out with me?"

"I do," he mumbled and then grinned, since that's what they'd be saying the next day.

She laughed lightly and leaned back away from him as her hands found their way into his hair, raking through it as she studied his face.

"You don't need it, you know," he told her seriously then.

"Need what?" she asked in confusion, her brow drawn.

"Beauty rest," House replied, lifting a hand up to touch her face almost reverently.

Cuddy bit her lip but queried teasingly, "Are you trying to get me to break my rule about not having sex with you until tomorrow night?"

He chuckled but shook his head, his thumb smoothing over her cheek. "No. I'm saying that because eight hours of sleep couldn't make you any more gorgeous than you are right now, Cuddy."

She smiled affectionately up at him even as House realized how cheesy he'd just been and wrinkled his noise with distaste at himself.

"Then again maybe I'm the one who needs the sleep," he wryly muttered, shaking his head.

"That was sweet," she reassured despite knowing reassurance wasn't what he was looking for, covering his hand with her own.

Before he could protest though, she leaned into him, walking him backwards to the bed, smirking when she moved her hands to his shoulders to push him down on it. He returned the smirk when she lifted one knee after the other to straddle him, crawling after him as he scooted a little farther back upon the bed so as to avoid their finding themselves in a precarious position at the bed's edge.

"Clothes stay on," she warned him drolly once they were settled upon the bed.

"I can work with that," he agreed, his hands sliding from her waist to cup her derriere, smirk growing when he gave her a squeeze.

Cuddy pursed her lips but brought her face closer to his, her eyes fluttering closed when House moved to bridge the gap still between them, the kiss starting out slow and leisurely, though it didn't stay there.

Forty-five minutes later they broke apart, breathing hard.

"We've gotta stop," she managed to voice in between gasps, pushing his hand away from where he'd been pressing against the inseam of her pants, Cuddy having been desperately rocking against him seconds before, throwing restraint to the wind until she saw the clock behind him and realized she'd now allowed this to go beyond where she'd intended it to and was _also _dangerously close to the time when her mother would be returning.

He groaned but leaned back on the bed, using an arm to prop him up before he raked a hand through his already disheveled hair, unhappily eyeing her for stopping him there.

She forced herself to leave the bed. "You've got to calm down… No, we've _both _got to calm down before my mom returns and I… I should also change."

He laughed at the expression on her face then but quickly frowned again as she stripped off her clothes as if he wasn't right there, watching her. "That is so not fair," he protested resentfully. "You can't ask me to look but not touch."

She glanced his way as she reached for her robe but retorted, "I'm not asking you to look."

"Wait," he commanded when she moved to head for the bathroom, intending to freshen up and try and fix her hair as well.

Reluctantly she paused, swallowing hard as he got to his feet, approaching her.

"House," she warned, tilting her head slightly as she stared dubiously at him. "No touching."

He gave her a dirty look but then ignored her, reaching out to untie her robe, opening it so he could look at her. He groaned and she had to bite back her own moan as she shivered under his hungry stare before hurriedly reaching to close her robe again before either of them did something there was no time for.

He released her with a huff, turning away to rake his hand through his hair once more, glancing at the clock.

Cuddy hurried into the bathroom then, shutting and locking the door behind her for good measure.

When the knock came House was just kissing her goodnight. He rolled his eyes but broke the kiss to open the door.

"I'm leaving," he mumbled at an amused Evelyn as she smiled up at him before her eyes drifted to her daughter, taking in the robe she had on and giving her a pointed look, closing her eyes briefly while she shook her head.

"What? I have pajamas on," Cuddy defended with a scoff.

"Be glad your father isn't with me," Evelyn replied, still shaking her head.

"She made me keep it PG," House grumpily inserted before adding with a grin upon thinking about it more, "13."

Cuddy rubbed a hand over her face at the big grin on his face and the fact that he'd even said that to her mother. She was also certain that they'd gone on to stretch the PG-13 rating about five minutes before she'd stopped things where they were at. But she wasn't about to correct his statement, especially with her mother there.

Evelyn laughed but pointed her finger down the hallway. "Get going and don't you come back," she instructed.

"Yeah, yeah," he replied drolly before his eyes returned to Cuddy, travelling from her bare feet to her now immaculate hair.

She bit her lip but then managed to murmur, "Goodnight House."

"Goodnight," he mumbled back.

"Oh for goodness sake!" Evelyn protested. "Just kiss your soon-to-be bride and get it over with. I'm not stopping you!"

House smirked slightly at her declaration but moved to do just that, kissing Cuddy once again.

"Okay, that's enough," Evelyn cheerfully interrupted.

Cuddy laughed but kissed House again anyway before she held him away with a hand to his sternum. "You better go," she murmured then, smiling.

"Yeah," he agreed, rolling his eyes at Evelyn before he turned to walk away, not allowing himself to glance back behind him.

Cuddy sighed as he left, leaning against the doorjamb to watch him.

"I swear you two are practically impossible," Evelyn quipped before teasing, "I'm going to have to post your dad at your door tomorrow to keep him away."

"We'll be good," Cuddy promised, able to feel silly now that she could no longer see House.

"We'll see," Evelyn murmured noncommittally before tenderly wishing her daughter a good night, telling her to get some rest, kissing her cheek affectionately.

Cuddy closed the door behind her once her mother had gone. Sighing, she smiled, worrying her lip before pushing off her door when her phone beeped with an incoming message.

She rolled her eyes when she read, "No standing me up at the alter tomorrow."

But she pursed her lips as she typed back, "I wouldn't dare."

* * *

"_**Everybody keeps telling me I'm such a lucky man  
Lookin' at you standin' there I know I am  
Barefooted beauty with eyes that blue  
The sunshine sure looks good on you  
I swear**_

**_Oh I can't believe I finally found you baby_**  
**_Happy ever after, after all this time_**  
**_Oh there's gonna be some ups and downs_**  
**_But with you to wrap my arms around_**  
**_I'm fine_**

**_So baby, hold on tight_**  
**_Don't let go_**  
**_Hold onto the love we're making_**  
**_'Cause baby when the ground starts shakin'_**  
**_You gotta know_**

**_When you got a good thing_**

**_You know you keep on bringin' out the best of me_**  
**_And I need you now even more than the air I breathe_**  
**_You can make me laugh when I wanna cry_**  
**_This will last forever I just know, I know_**

**_So baby, hold on tight_**  
**_Don't let go_**  
**_Hold onto the love we're making_**  
**_'Cause baby when the ground starts shakin'_**  
**_You gotta know_**

**_When you got a good thing_**

**_We got a good thing, baby, whoa_**  
**_So hold on tight_**  
**_Baby, don't let go_**  
**_Hold onto the love we're making_**  
**_'Cause baby when the ground starts shakin'_**  
**_You gotta know, oh you gotta know_**  
**_Oh you gotta know, you gotta know_**  
**_When you got a good thing_**

_**Ooooh  
We got a good thing baby**_

_**Whoa  
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa"**_

* * *

Song: "When You Got a Good Thing" (Lady Antebellum)


	121. I Wanna Have Your Babies

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Thank you all for your lovely reviews and comments! I'm very excited to be at this point and hope you will enjoy this chapter very much!)_

* * *

May 26th, 2012

House scooped Rachel up as he and Wilson exited the hotel with the girls to head to the yacht club, before she could run off and get dirty, even if she wasn't yet in her dress for the ceremony. He sighed at all her energy while buckling her into the car seat and then turned to watch Wilson approach with Evie protesting tearfully from his arms.

"You're right. It was crazy to think we could dress them first and then head over and still somehow manage to keep them looking nice," he mumbled to House. "You should have seen that diaper. It was everywhere. I'm glad she was still in her pajamas."

"Tell me about it," House replied, moving around the car to open the door before holding out his arms to take Evie.

"Daddy, tummy hungwy!" she whined, fighting against being put into her car seat.

"Relax kid," he told her. "I know you're hungry again. I'll get you your Cheerios in a minute. Just let me get you buckled in."

She pouted but stilled, allowing him to accomplish his task.

"If we can manage to keep their hair as perfect as it is right now until the time they go down the aisle, that'd satisfy me. At least Cheerios should be pretty harmless," Wilson muttered, pulling open the passenger door to climb into House's car.

"You'd be surprised the destruction one can accomplish with a bag of Cheerios," House mumbled dryly. "But as for the hair, Cuddy's prepared for any minor disasters. Just keep Rachel away from any scissors and we'll be okay. No. Change that. Keep _Evie _away from the scissors. She's the little terror. Rachel knows better."

He grabbed the baggie of Cheerios and gave them to Evie who immediately stopped whining and filled a little fist full before shoving them into her mouth.

"I want some!" Rachel pouted, pointing to what her little sister had.

House rolled his eyes but bent down to dig out another baggie from the diaper bag.

"It will be a miracle if we ever get out of here," Wilson said then, checking his suit to make sure he hadn't gotten anything on him in the process of changing Evie.

"Hey! Don't jinx us," House told him, Rachel now pacified. He quickly checked to make sure Evie's arms and legs were out of the way of the door and shut it, moving around the car to climb in the driver's seat.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Wilson prompted, giving him a probing look.

"You said Chase was going to take Trevor for us," he replied doubtfully.

"He is," Wilson confirmed but then gave House a pointed look, nodding his chin at House himself.

"Right. Monkey suit. Got it," House mumbled, getting back out to limp back into the hotel to retrieve it. A minute later he returned, tucking his tux safely in the trunk. Okay, he was running a little behind schedule but… it'd all work out. All he needed was five minutes to put on his tux anyway.

"We're going to be late if you don't step on it," Wilson informed him then, looking at his watch. "We're supposed to be there in fifteen minutes, according to the schedule Cuddy made us."

"Just relax," House huffed. "It's not like Cuddy didn't plan for us to be already running behind when she made that thing. And either way the wedding isn't going to start without us. But I've got my babies in the backseat so… safety comes first," he wryly concluded.

Wilson smiled broadly. "I certainly never thought I'd hear _those_ words come out of your mouth."

"And I never thought I'd find myself running to get to a wedding on time. Definitely not my own. Maybe your fourth though," he quipped. "But I suppose when you marry Erika in August, I can't exactly sit in the back and jeer like I'd intended. There you go, screwing up all my well-laid plans again."

"Ha ha," Wilson dryly responded, rolling his eyes. "You're just SO funny."

House smiled, laughing silently. "Don't worry, Wilson. I'm sure the fourth time's the charm."

"It's gotta be," he mumbled back absently, looking back at the hotel as they drove away to fret over whether they'd forgotten anything.

House pursed his lips but made no comment.

* * *

They arrived with time to spare but happily passed the girls off to Evelyn to finish readying, dresses and diaper bag carefully passed on to Cameron who was on the lookout for the girls as well and who quickly offered to help.

"Now my only responsibility is to keep you away from Cuddy," Wilson breathed out with a sigh, stepping to the trunk to lift out House's tux.

House smirked but then wiped his face clean of any emotion before his buddy looked his way.

* * *

House got dressed in his tux and then breathed out his relief at having survived _so far_. Thursday night they'd held a rehearsal with dinner for the wedding party following it. He'd griped halfheartedly about having to do a rehearsal at all, fairly certain he knew what he needed to do and that the rest of the wedding party had enough experience with this by now to also comprehend their roles, especially Wilson. But Cuddy had argued that they had to, particularly as it was the kids she was concerned about, all too certain they'd need a couple practice runs before the real deal. So he'd acquiesced, not really having a choice anyway, and when he stood at the floral archway where they were to say their vows on their wedding day, waiting for Cuddy to finish going over final details with those overseeing the wedding, watching as Rachel and Evie ran about like little garden… gnomes, wreaking havoc, he'd acknowledged she'd been right. Thankfully they'd calmed down once the practice run actually started, following instructions with an eagerness to please that had him smirking. And Elliot had been perfectly fine, walking down on his chubby legs while Trevor held his hand and kept him upright, both serving as ring bearers.

Hopefully they'd all do just as well today.

Resignedly he followed Wilson outside to where he needed to be for the ceremony, relieved, mostly for Cuddy's sake, that the weather had cooperated and the day was shaping up to be a warm one. Not that she hadn't made up a contingency plan. And a contingency plan for her _contingency plan,_ House mused then_._

Glancing around he wondered what the odds were of Cuddy being alone at present. Then he spotted Chase arriving with Elliot and Trevor, Erika and Cameron suddenly appearing at the edge of his line of vision and heading in Chase's direction, and figured he wouldn't get another opportunity like this, especially as they were all heading inside the building, rather than for the yacht where Cuddy was supposed to be at present.

"Oh crap," he muttered, shaking his head as he stared down at his tux.

"What? What is it?" Wilson immediately replied worriedly.

"One of my buttons is loose," House grumbled back, smacking Wilson's hand away before he could touch it. "Don't! If it comes off, I'm screwed."

Wilson stared at the offending button, frowning. "Well, you only really need them for photos, since you're planning to wear your jacket unbuttoned anyway," he finally hedged in response.

House pretended to look around. "Evelyn came prepared for anything. Maybe she can fix it."

"I'll go find her," Wilson immediately replied. _"You_ _stay here."_

"Where am I gonna go?" House dryly retorted.

Wilson exhaled harshly but then nodded, turning to go.

House waited only until he was out of sight before sneaking away.

* * *

Cuddy went to the yacht cabin door, expecting it to be her bridesmaids returning with her daughters as they'd gone to get them from her mother. But when she opened the door, peeking out of it, the only person there was House, too busy checking over his shoulder for those supposed to be keeping him away, to realize the door was open and she was standing in the doorway, horrified at him showing up now.

"House!" Cuddy exclaimed breathlessly after hurrying out of sight, now hiding behind the door. "You can't come in here! You aren't allowed to see me until I come down the aisle! We've talked about this!"

"Would you relax?" House muttered, rolling his eyes despite how he had them averted. He kept his weight against the door but loosened his bowtie slightly, feeling choked by his monkey suit. _"Now _you want to be traditional?" he added dryly. "After asking to break from tradition and say your vows first? Huh. Do you also want me to pretend we haven't had premarital sex? And that Evie was an immaculate conception?"

She couldn't see him to hit him so she had to settle for shoving the door forcefully into him, her eyes narrowing and jaw clenched. "Shut up, House! This is our wedding day! This is the only one we'll ever have!"

"But Cuddles," House cajoled then, catching his balance without removing his foot from where it strategically kept the door open enough so that she couldn't shut him out completely. "You have no idea the trouble I went to in order to escape Wilson and find you."

"House," Cuddy groaned, squeezing her eyes shut as she settled her back against the door. "Wilson was given strict instructions to keep you away and out of trouble before the ceremony. Why can't you just wait another forty-five minutes to see me?"

He fell silent, trying to think of a way to get in the cabin with her, but Cuddy misread his silence. "You aren't having second thoughts, are you?" she asked then, her voice almost a whisper, feeling as if there was suddenly a vice grip on her heart.

He sighed. The last thing he needed was to have her thinking that was why he'd come.

House slipped his hand in through the space, feeling around for her until he found her hand. He took it in his, squeezing it before allowing his thumb to trace circles in her palm. He pouted, expelling a breath. "I just want a kiss. Is that so much to ask? A little pre-wedding kiss to tide me over? I haven't kissed you in… eleven hours now and I was forced to sleep by myself last night. I haven't had to do that in months."

Waves of relief swept over her. She smiled then, adjusting their hands so their fingers were laced. "You should have called Wilson," she quipped provokingly. "I'm sure he would have kept you company."

"You're not funny," he mumbled in irritation.

"And you never want just a kiss," she replied teasingly. "You say a kiss but then a kiss leads to…"

House interrupted before she could continue, tugging gently on her hand. "Come on, Cuddy. Your bridesmaids will be back soon. And when Wilson realizes they've all left you alone and I've gone missing, he'll come looking for me here. We don't have time to argue. Can I have a kiss or not?"

She sighed. "I don't know, House. I haven't reapplied my lipstick yet but…"

He knew then that she was going to cave.

"I'll make you a deal," he murmured. "I'll close my eyes so I don't see you. And think of it this way, you'll still get to see_ me._"

Cuddy worried her lip between her teeth but she was smiling. "And you promise you won't open them?" she pressed.

"I promise," he avowed.

"You can't touch me, either," she instructed solemnly.

"Not even a _little_ grope?" House wheedled, frowning at that stipulation.

"_No! House!"_ she scolded.

"_Oh, alright!"_ he huffed, his mouth drawing down in a scowl.

Cuddy moved away from the door but didn't release his hand. "Your eyes are closed?" she asked doubtfully.

"They're closed," he reassured, a smile tugging at his lips now.

Cuddy opened the door, peeking out quickly just to be sure he wasn't lying. She pulled him in by the hand and then wasted no time in planting a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Wait!" House protested before she could shove him back out the door. "You call that a kiss?"

She groaned. "It was a kiss," she informed him dryly.

"One more then," he instructed, his eyes firmly shut. "But this time slower. And more _lingering_."

Cuddy released his hand. "No touching now," she reminded and House instantly put his hands behind him, nodding.

She leaned in, cupping his cheek as she brought his mouth down to hers, closing the distance little by little, her eyes going back and forth from his eyes to his lips. Then their mouths met and her eyes fluttered closed as she gently increased pressure, kissing him several times. But when he tried to deepen it, biting gently on her bottom lip, she pulled back, taking a hold of his shoulders to keep him from following her. "Save it for the wedding night, House," she mumbled wryly.

He grinned but his eyes remained closed. "You're such a tease, Cuddles."

She laughed in response, an eyebrow lifting. "You got your kiss. Now you need to go."

Cuddy took his arm, escorting him to the door.

"Wait!" House said, coming to a sudden stop.

"What now?!" Cuddy demanded, crossing her arms and glaring at him, despite the fact that he couldn't see her.

"Don't look at your future husband like that," he scolded, knowing without seeing her expression that she was giving him a dirty look.

She clucked her tongue impatiently even as she struggled not to smile at his words. "Well?" she pressed when she could demand an explanation without reflecting her affection.

House reached a hand out towards her and she looked at him warily but waited, allowing him to bring it up to her face. He stroked her cheek softly once he found it and Cuddy leaned into his touch, sighing, feeling slightly calmed by it. House smirked and then with a twist of his wrist, touched her ear before withdrawing his hand.

Cuddy was startled to see a gift-wrapped box that took up the whole palm of his hand when he held it out before her face. She shook her head, amused that he was now performing magic tricks for her.

"I think this is for you," he said seriously, his expression devoid of emotion.

She accepted it, licking her lips before expelling a breath. "What is it?" Cuddy asked semi-skeptically.

House's mouth twitched. "Open it," he encouraged.

She started to undo the ribbon and House piped in, "I don't even _like _giving presents and yet I find it annoying to give you something and not be able to watch you open it."

She glanced up at him, her hands stilling on the gift. "Well, that's your fault. You're the one who picked this moment to give it to me."

He chuckled and then produced a rose in his other hand. "This is for you too."

Cuddy laughed, pressing a kiss to his lips hurriedly and making him stagger as he tried unsuccessfully to follow her mouth. Then she reached out and took the rose from him, smelling it. "Aren't you just Mr. Romantic today?" she joked. "I haven't even opened the first gift yet."

"Well then get on with it!" he demanded. "Wilson will be here any minute to nag and cluck at me like a host of barnyard animals."

She shot him a look but then set the rose aside to return to the wrapping, finally succeeding in loosening the ribbon, the wrapping falling aside easily at that point.

Cuddy sighed out her anticipation before lifting the lid on the jewelry box. "Oh House," she whispered, looking from him to the contents.

"You said you had something old, something borrowed, and something blue, but that your 'something new' was just going to be your dress," House mumbled in reminder. "I wanted to get you something."

Cuddy nodded, too distracted trying to keep the tears at bay to realize that nodding really didn't count as a decent acknowledgement of the gift, especially when he couldn't see her.

"You like it?" he asked after a moment, frowning because he couldn't be sure when she wasn't saying anything at all. Usually he knew by her eyes but as he couldn't see them they were of no use in determining her reaction.

She took a quick step closer to him and then reached for him, bringing his head down to give him a searing kiss. House didn't even have to make the first move. Cuddy deepened it, kissing him thoroughly.

When she broke the kiss, she whispered, "Yes, I like it, House. In fact, I love it."

He smiled contentedly and took a couple careful steps back towards the door, knowing his hands were itching to pull her back to him. "Good," he finally said, pleased.

She shook her head, amused by him. "Are you trying to manipulate me through this gift into taking your last name?"

He grinned broadly but shook his head. "No pressure. We can add Cuddy with a hyphen if that's what you want."

Just then the still cracked open door was shoved wide, revealing Wilson standing there, fuming. "House! You aren't supposed to be here!" he yelled.

House laughed but made sure to keep his eyes closed.

"He's been a good boy," Cuddy interceded affectionately. "He kept his eyes closed the whole time."

"Seriously, House," Wilson scolded, "Do you have to choose your wedding day to pull a disappearing stunt? Do you realize how aggravating that is?"

"Oh Wilson," House said direly. "Live a little. I didn't leave. I just wanted a moment with the wife. Is that so bad?"

Cuddy smiled before reminding him, "I'm not your wife yet. If you don't get out of here and leave me in peace I might rethink walking down that aisle. I'm behind schedule now as it is."

House shook his head, smirking before sticking his fingers under the lapels of his tux, giving them a tug. "You wouldn't. You can't resist this. You know that with me you get the whole package."

She laughed, turning her focus to Wilson. "Will you get him out of here before his head implodes from all that smugness and makes a mess on my dress?"

Shaking his head he took House's arm and turned him around, pulling him out into the yacht's passageway. "And we still need to fix your button," he mumbled.

"Wilson, you _idiot,"_ House shot back, shaking his head. "There was nothing wrong with my button. I swear. You're so easy sometimes."

Wilson growled at him but did not reply, shaking his head before huffing.

"Hey Cuddy?" House called, turning back to her.

"Yeah?" she replied softly, leaning in the doorway with her cheek pressed to the doorframe, watching him warmly as Wilson waited rather impatiently.

"I love you," he said simply, eyes still sealed shut, a smirk stealing over his mouth.

"Hey House?" Cuddy murmured, choking on emotion.

"Yeah?" House said, mimicking her response of moments before.

"I love you," she informed him, returning his sentiments. "More than you could even imagine."

"After today, you're all mine," he reminded her then, rather smugly.

Cuddy laughed. "No House," she corrected. "I'm pretty sure I've been yours since the first day I met you. It's just taken until now for you to be able to claim me and make it official."

He smiled, his mouth twitching. "See you soon, Cuddles."

"I'm eagerly anticipating it," she breathlessly admitted.

"I hate to break the love fest," Wilson quipped, an eyebrow raised. "But you've only got thirty-five minutes left until the ceremony starts and Evelyn told me the girls would be on their way to you in five. She's just taking Rachel to the bathroom first."

"Aww, poor Jimmy. He's getting all embarrassed with the sappy talk," House mocked, turning to him to walk off down the passageway to get off the yacht. "Just wait Wilson. Your turn is coming."

Wilson looked back at Cuddy and rolled his eyes but then followed House's lead.

Cuddy smiled softly, watching them walk away a moment before closing the door. Then she turned around, opening her hand to admire what lay within. He'd given her a cuff bracelet made of white gold, etched with interconnecting ovals, four with each of their first names curving within each oval but the fifth and center one bearing her current favorite picture of the four of them engraved there upon it, HOUSE scrawled beneath it in tiny letters. It was perfectly sentimental. And she loved it.

Cuddy sighed, admiring it a moment longer. She loved _him._ And she had never known she could love him so much. But she did.

* * *

"Mama!" Evie called out excitedly when Erika entered the cabin with her, Rachel skipping along beside her.

"How are you doing?" Erika asked, moving out of the way of the door to let Cameron in with Elliot, Evelyn following behind.

Cuddy smiled, taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. She shot a grateful glance behind her at Julia who had reentered the cabin a minute before and was currently fussing with Cuddy's dress, an A-line with a fitted decorative bodice and corset lacing in back that came down to the floor but then pooled out in the back. "I'm doing fine. How are things out there?"

"Everything's perfect," Erika reassured with a smile, bringing Evie forward to receive a kiss as the toddler was eagerly reaching for her mommy, but doing so in a manner that would prevent her from latching on to her mom and potentially endangering her or any part of her.

Checking to be certain that Julia was done, Cuddy then knelt down to kiss Rachel as well, sliding a curl back out of her way, Erika having curled her hair once House and the kids had shown up while the little girl succumbed to being pampered and made extra beautiful after Evelyn had changed her into her dress, though she hadn't needed much cajoling to be talked into it, loving the attention and proving much more patient than anyone had hoped.

"Mommy, you're _so _beautiful," Rachel said sweetly, reaching up to touch her mommy's cheek as if in awe.

Cuddy turned her head to press a kiss to her palm before smiling at her. "Well I hope I look half as beautiful as you do, Rachel," she murmured back, reaching out to stroke the back of her fingers over Rachel's cheek in affection.

Rachel beamed at her and Cuddy straightened the hem of her dress before she stood back up, looking at Cameron. "How's Elliot doing?" she asked then.

Cameron looked down at her somewhat sleepy little guy but then shot Cuddy a reassuring smile. "I'm pretty sure he'll perk back up when we go back out there."

Cuddy nodded, her eyes dropping to Elliot who was now a year old and could walk very well on his own, though they wouldn't be testing that out today as he wasn't quite predictable in where he'd go, everyone figuring it would be better if someone were to walk with him and offer guidance so that he'd end up where he needed to be when the time came. Trevor had happily agreed to walk with him, not wanting to serve as an usher with Cuddy's nephews but not minding being in the ceremony so long as everyone's eyes would really be on someone else, in this case, Elliot.

She sighed, shaking her head at how quickly a year had passed, Elliot looking very handsome in his little tux, his downy soft blond hair that had finally grown in, spiked with gel.

"I think this is the first bridesmaid dress that I've liked," Erika mused to herself as she looked in the mirror, the beginnings of her baby bump made all the ore obvious due to Evie's presence in her arms, where she chatted happily to herself.

Cuddy laughed.

"You think I'm joking but I'm completely serious," Erika replied dryly, throwing Cuddy a smile via the mirror. "I've been in my share of weddings but this is the first time I've felt something outside ambivalence to the dress I was asked to wear. And that's saying something, considering this is the first time I've been in a wedding while pregnant."

"I actually like mine too," Cameron admitted, shooting Erika a smile after glancing at her baby bump. "It's hard to find a color that compliments all your bridesmaids but this shade of pink is just pink enough to not be washed out in natural light and yet not remind me of… Pepto-Bismol or something equally gaudy."

Julia laughed but said nothing as she turned her attention to Evie, checking the bobby pins that she'd snuck into her hair when Evie was distracted enough to allow it, everyone else focused on getting Rachel ready while Cuddy was given some time to relax and go over her vows, one last time, even if that hadn't been how she'd ended up spending her time alone in House showing up.

There was a knock at the door to let them know it was time and everyone turned to look at Cuddy as she sucked in a breath before letting it go.

"Everything will be just fine," Evelyn told her, patting her arm. "You look absolutely lovely and you're ready for this. It's your _father _you should be concerned about."

Both Cuddy and Julia laughed their amusement and then Evelyn opened the door, allowing the bridesmaids to slip out into the passageway first. She pressed a kiss to Lisa's cheek when she paused in the doorway, checking to make sure she hadn't left a mark before meeting her daughter's eyes. "Just keep your eyes on the prize," she quipped softly, brushing a wayward curl back into place before lightly cupping Lisa's jaw. "Keep your eyes on Greg. He'll get you through."

"Thanks mom," Cuddy replied softly, pressing a kiss to her mother's cheek before she lifted the hem of her dress so as to not step on it.

Evelyn smiled and then helped her as she made her way out of the yacht's cabin. Five minutes later she was turned over to her father, her mother heading to be seated by the ushers, along with House's own mom.

"You look absolutely stunning, honey," her dad said seriously, taking her in. "You've never looked more beautiful than you do right now."

"Thank you dad," she murmured with a soft smile, looking down at her dress as her bridesmaids went to work, straightening it out again behind her before sorting out their bouquets, Cuddy having opted to go with pink hydrangeas, the ballroom where the reception was to be held also decorated with hydrangeas in purple, pink, blue and green.

"There's still time," Richard mumbled at her then out of the corner of his mouth.

Cuddy released a breathless laugh but shook her head as she accepted her bouquet from Erika. "I'm not going anywhere," she informed him lightly, sneaking a glance at the girls now to make sure they were alright and finding Erika currently down on their level, talking softly to them, both Rachel and Evie bobbing their heads in seriousness, Evie mostly copying her sister's behavior.

"Okay, this is it," Cameron murmured, giving them all a warning before the music changed. Cuddy sucked in one final breath, squeezing her dad's hand before watching as the girls were given their flower baskets and lined up before her, preceded by Trevor who shot her a thumb's up as Cameron led Elliot to him by his hand. She smiled and then reached a hand out to touch Evie's head and ground herself a little, in order to keep her focus as the bridesmaids started down the aisle ahead of her.

* * *

House glanced around at those who were already seated, waiting for the wedding to begin. He rolled his eyes when they landed upon Nolan, who chuckled wryly and shook his head before House continued to peruse the crowd before him. Henry was seated in the row behind where his mother was seated with David and he exchanged head nods and a wry grin with him when their eyes met before House's eyes switched over to what was supposed to be the bride's side. His eyes widened when he caught sight of Kate Milton, one of his previous patients who had also worked at PPTH once upon a time, and then things clicked and he realized for what was stupidly the first time that she was probably here because _she'd _been the Kate Cuddy referred to in talking about her therapy sessions. He really should have paid more attention to Cuddy's guest list, he supposed then. Or actually have asked her more questions about her therapy sessions, he figured, though it didn't really matter, other than catching him off-guard.

The classical music that the string quartet they'd hired to play as guests were seated came to an end just then and a minute later they started back up with Pachelbel's Canon in D, calling everyone's attention to the back as the bridesmaids began to walk down the aisle. House turned slightly from where he stood in the floral archway to watch as Julia came down, followed by Erika and then Cameron. He tried to not react as each one met his eyes but it was a little too hard to not smirk or roll his eyes, considering the looks they gave him once they'd passed the crowd seated behind them.

He cleared his throat and refocused to watch as Trevor hit the halfway point of the brick walkway, Elliot grinning at his dad who was watching from House's side as he came toddling towards him, cheeks rosy and now wide awake. Once he made it to the front Chase picked him up, sharing a smile with Cameron before settling his son against his chest and returning to stand on the other side of Wilson. Then Rachel and Evie came down the center aisle towards him with their flower baskets, both of them tossing rose petals, smiling sweetly as people oohed and aahed. He held his breath when Evie threw out more than she wanted to apparently, stopping to pick some back up and return them to her basket, but Rachel murmured her sister's name and Evie looked at her before continuing down the aisle with her, tossing out more petals as she went. When they spotted their daddy however, they both squealed in excitement, ringlets flying as they picked up speed, Evie almost falling before they both tripped safely into his arms where he had crouched down to catch them. House laughed and tucked curls behind their ears before steering them over to Grandma Cuddles, Cuddy having thought that would be best since she hardly expected they'd willingly stand up in front without getting into trouble.

Wilson, Chase and Cuddy's brother-in-law, Steve, laughed from behind him as the girls excitedly waved at him, giggling at whatever Evelyn was whispering to them, but House just winked at Rachel before his attention went to where Cuddy would be coming from.

And then the music changed and people got to their feet to welcome the bride as the Prince of Denmark's March began. House took a step out into the aisle so that his view would be unobstructed by people as they rose to their feet, craning their necks to see Cuddy as well as she stepped forth with her father through the gate at the end of the walkway.

Apparently Rachel and Evie had the same idea because when Evelyn was distracted by the music change they squirmed past her and to House's side as he stepped into the aisle, latching on, one to each of his legs. House motioned to Evelyn to just let them be for the moment, his hands going down to rest one on each little head. And then Cuddy entered from the back and he only had eyes for her as he sobered, barely breathing as he waited for her to come to stand with him and their girls.

* * *

Cuddy took her father's arm, released a slow breath and nodded to let him know she was ready. He squeezed her arm and stepped with her to the back entrance into the garden where the ceremony was being held, the music immediately starting up. "I love you, dad," she told him, kissing his cheek quickly in case she forgot to do so later.

"I love you too, Lisa. And you really do look truly lovely," he replied, admiring his oldest daughter a moment more before taking another step with her to pass through the gate, wryly acknowledging to himself how happy she was.

Someone straightened her dress where it trailed off on the floor behind her but she hardly noticed as she took her first steps down the brick walkway, her eyes sweeping past the crowd rising to their feet to search for House at the far end. She couldn't see him at first and she immediately craned her neck to try and look for him, questioning why he wasn't in sight, suddenly nervous, but then she saw two little bodies rush out from her mother's side at the same time that House stepped into view, wrapping themselves around his legs, and immediately she could breathe again. His hands settled on their daughters' heads but his eyes were on her. And her breath caught, seeing her little family waiting for her, seeing House where twenty years ago she'd dared to dream him as being when she someday walked down the aisle.

Cuddy felt like she was floating her way to him, her eyes never leaving House's. And he hid nothing from her, his face expressive, communicating just how beautiful she looked, how adored she was, how much he truly did love her, making her fight tears before she even got to him.

Once they were at House's side, Cuddy leaned her face in her daddy's direction to receive his kiss, but her eyes did not leave House's. She released her dad's arm to reach for him but was surprised when her dad took her hand and placed it in House's, giving him a meaningful look. House swallowed hard but nodded and Cuddy smiled softly before her free hand came up to stroke the scruff on his cheek that he had offered to shave off but which she'd begged him to leave alone, before she dropped her hand from his face and knelt down to kiss each of her daughter's cheeks. They gave her kisses in turn, Evie's a little sloppy, before Cuddy directed them back to their grandma, standing back up and squeezing House's hand in the process, amazed by how steady she felt in this moment now that he was beside her.

He squeezed her hand back, noting the bracelet he'd given her on her wrist. He smiled and then raised his eyebrows at her. "You ready to do this?"

Cuddy nodded. "I feel like I've been waiting years for this day to come," she murmured then.

"I know what you mean, Cuddles," House whispered back, absolutely serious now. "I know what you mean."

They only broke eye contact when the officiant addressed the crowd, the ceremony commencing.

* * *

"It's time for the exchange of vows," he announced a short time later.

Cuddy had asked to go first, afraid that she might be crying and unable to speak by the time House finished with his, still not knowing what he intended to say.

She sucked in a breath and slowly released it while House smirked at her before he turned serious in response to the barbed look she threw him. Then she smiled, straightening her posture as she prepared herself.

Moistening her lips she reached for both his hands, her fingers wrapping under them to fold into his palms while her thumbs smoothed over the back of his hands before stilling.

"Bear with me as I use your given name," she quipped lightly before biting her lip.

"I'll try to remember what it is and not think you're actually talking to some other guy standing here," he replied with a smirk.

She laughed but turned serious as she stared up at him. "Gregory House," she said then.

"Okay, got it. That's me," he couldn't resist interjecting, pretending to have to think about it.

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head as Wilson huffed resignedly behind him. "Are you good now?" she asked, an eyebrow quirked in question.

His mouth pursed but he nodded once to indicate he'd behave.

"Gregory House," she began again, serious once more. "I think all along there has been a part of me that has been waiting for this day to come. And I'm not referring to the girl who hoped one day someone would come along, giving her a reason to walk down this aisle and tear herself from her father's reluctant hand, but to the part of me that remains the girl you met over twenty years ago, who fell in love with a boy for the first time while in med school and woke up one day to realize in her eyes, he'd eclipsed the sun.

"Realistically, I realize I am no longer that same young girl. I've grown up, accomplished things I'd hoped to, yes, but I've also faced my share of hard times along the way… and I come to you with more baggage than that girl ever imagined finding herself with. But today, standing before you, I feel like her, with all her hopes and dreams and longings, only… I know so much more than that girl did and… standing here, some twenty years later, I can only say she never dreamed this big, she never overcame so much, and she never loved you _more_ than _I do_ at this moment.

"Greg, you are the love of my life. You have _always _been the love of my life. Even when I didn't want to love you as much as I did or to need you as much as I do. You make me feel things that… _no one else _has ever made me feel. You make me feel them whether I want to or not," she added more teasingly. "Irritation, frustration, exasperation." She paused while people laughed but then turned serious once more as she recognized, "But you also make me feel hopeful regarding the future I have to look forward to, stronger for the past we've survived, and so very grateful for the present I am living with_ you,_ beside me. You have loved me… like no one else has ever loved me. Like no one else _will _ever love me or _could _ever love me. You know me in ways that no one else knows me, both the good and the bad and yet, you love me regardless. And I can only say that I am so _blessed _to stand before you today and _ask you_ to be my husband. Greg, you are the father of my children, the love of my life, the man I have waited what seems like forever to claim and love with every part of me. And today I promise to love you as no one else can, to cherish you as only I could, to honor the man you've always been but also, the man you have become, and to be grateful for every day that we have together. I promise to be the wife you never wanted," she quipped. "But what's more, I promise to be the wife that there's no fear of loving as much as you do. You know my past. You have my present. But today I give you my future. And I do so gladly, promising all of me to you from this day forward. So…" Cuddy concluded, pausing only momentarily to release one of his hands and accept the ring from Julia's outstretched palm before continuing, "Gregory House, will you marry me, becoming my husband and taking me as your bride?"

"I will," House said quietly, only allowing her to slide the ring on his finger before he muttered, "Screw it. I'm kissing you now," ignoring protocol and leaning in right then and there to steal a kiss before mumbling against her lips, "I love you Cuddy."

She pulled away after a second of allowing herself to smile against his mouth, acting outraged then at his dismissal of the rules, everyone laughing around her. But inwardly she was pleased to have him be so eager to kiss her and yet, to also reassure her, that he would dare to steal one before it was time.

When the crowd quieted down House cleared his throat to begin _his_ vows but Cuddy gave him a stern look before saying, quietly enough so that only House, the officiant, and the wedding party heard, "House, I'd just like to remind you that while you have my permission to get creative with your vows, so help me, if you disclose information of an intimate nature, you WILL suffer the consequences!"

Everyone who heard Cuddy's warning laughed and House pretended to nervously fidget with his tie, clearing his throat loudly again.

He knew at one point she'd perhaps worried that he wouldn't take this seriously enough, afraid he would make it all one big joke, or worse, that he'd not prove careful enough and reveal more of their tumultuous past than she could handle on this day. In regards to the first, honestly, even without trying he'd been fairly certain he'd still manage to entertain everyone with his vows but yeah, that didn't mean he wasn't intending to lighten things up somewhat. And in regards to the second, he'd tried to make it clear to her that he wouldn't do anything to risk ruining her big day, but it wasn't as if he was all that inclined to share his _own _personal laundry anyway.

And then the officiant smiled and nodded at House to go ahead.

The time had come.

House turned to her and as she had, took both of her hands, holding them tightly in his. "Lisa Cuddy," he began, managing to say her name and do so without smirking at all, even if he didn't think he'd be able to avoid doing so for long. "The first time I laid eyes on you, I was _totally_ into you. You walked onto campus and promptly held my attention ransom. I can remember it as if it was yesterday. You were smokin' hot in your little tennis outfit and I knew there wasn't another girl on campus that could hold a candle to you."

Cuddy blushed in embarrassment, turning her face away from the crowd in chagrin, just imagining the expression on her father's face right now as many behind them started to laugh, thinking only House would have the audacity to open his vows with that depiction of his initial impression of Cuddy.

He ignored them, his gaze focused on her. "But then I met you and you were just as intelligent as you were attractive. You were the first girl to tell me 'no' and mean it, the first who could really match wits with me, and the first I really looked at, seeing more than just a pretty face and a nice body. It didn't take me long to grasp that you were not meant to be just a passing fling, that you deserved so much better than that. _Finally_ you succumbed to all my many charms and decided to give me a shot. And I was mad for you.

"But then our paths diverged because I was stupid enough to walk away," he admitted, meeting her eyes with complete seriousness. "I was afraid that one day it would all go wrong, I'd hurt you and lose you forever. I was afraid that… I could never deserve you anyway. And in considering myself a royal screw-up, I did just that. I screwed up. I blew my chance. I left. And I regretted it before I'd even walked out the door but I was too foolish to realize that… maybe you saw something in me that I couldn't see but which was nevertheless there. I don't know.

"Years passed without us seeing each other, though I always covertly kept tabs on you. I grew more and more misanthropic while you became more and more driven. In professional circles I was known for being a brilliant doctor but decidedly more trouble than I was worth, while you were known in professional circles for being a die-hard control freak, quickly climbing the ladder of success, albeit, while remaining dressed to kill. While you were a bad-ass, my claim to fame was more that of being a pain in the ass. Therefore I can only conclude we both attained our lofty goals for life."

House shot her a grin before he pressed onward, Cuddy shaking her head just barely, the corners of her mouth quirked upwards.

"Then rather suddenly our paths crossed again. But I had a girlfriend who you promptly struck a deal with and then went on to cut out a part of my thigh while I was unconscious and… things weren't looking too good."

The crowd laughed again but House had captured Cuddy's attention and certainly her interest, not to mention her heart, long ago. She waited to see what he'd come up with to say next, suddenly glad that she'd caved, allowing him to be creative and make this wedding his too, in a way that appealed to him.

House winked at her but then picked back up where he'd left off. "Needless to say, the relationship I was in fell apart at the seams, taking a chunk of my thigh with it. But for some reason unknown to mankind, you hung around. Whatever your motivation was, and I suspect it was that you still had the hots for me though if I recall correctly you told me numerous times and in numerous ways over the years to follow that that ship had sailed long ago, you hired me on, creating a previously nonexistent department in your hospital to suit my genius, which was previously nonexistent. The department I mean. My genius has quite clearly always been in existence and never contested."

This time even Cuddy laughed, rolling her eyes. House chuckled too but then went on. "Our relationship has always, always been interesting. I'd challenge your authority. You'd reinforce it and assign me more clinic hours. I'd avoid said clinic hours and create havoc. You'd pick up the pieces but give me a crappy parking space. I'd yell and say things I didn't mean. You'd steal my cane and booby-trap my doorway with a tripwire. I'd flirt and sabotage your dates. You'd do that thing with your hips when you walk to provoke me and then scold me for chasing after you. I'd trash your office. You'd come and camp out in mine. But as far as taking what was between us _somewhere,_ when I was cold, you were hot. And when I was hot, you were cold. We never seemed to be able to get our act together.

"This I _can _say: throughout each of my many near death experiences, and yes, there were a lot of them; you were always there for me. And… I think it's safe to say, and I hope you'd agree with me, when you truly needed me, I was there."

House paused a moment, his face sobering as he reached forward to cup Cuddy's cheek and lovingly wipe a tear from her face as she nodded, all choked up. Then he retrieved a handkerchief he'd placed in his pocket just in case and pressed it into her hand before saying, "Lisa Cuddy, we've _finally_ got our act together and today I am claiming you as my wife. Today I look back, not to focus on our mistakes but to remember how far we've come. And at the same time I also look forward. And in looking forward I see the rest of my life spread out before me, and this is the only thing I know for certain and that's that I don't want to ever live another day without you in it. As it is, too many days of being without you have passed for my liking.

"Just so that you know, I plan to frame a copy of the marriage certificate we're signing today so that I can keep it on hand and drag it out every time you get frustrated with my antics, to remind you that it's too late. There's no turning back. You're committed for life. And I want the ring that's currently burning a hole in Wilson's pocket, there on your finger to show every other guy out there that he doesn't stand a chance with you. You're mine and I will never let you go. I even want this ring that you placed on my finger moments ago so you can remind everyone we work with and work for, that you're stuck with me, just as much as I'm stuck with you, so they better just deal with it, no matter how big a pain in their ass I am. And finally, I want that bracelet you are wearing today to always remind you that you are the mother of my children and I am the father of yours. And as cheesy as this might sound coming from me of all people, it is nevertheless true; Rachel and Evie are the greatest blessings we could possibly have been entrusted with the responsibility of raising. _Hopefully_ they will survive relatively unscathed the experience of having us as parents. But Lisa Cuddy, above all, to have arrived here with you at this point and with these girls, _that_ is the greatest blessing I've ever received in my life. And I love you. I firmly believe I always have. And I'm promising you right now that I always will."

House smiled then as Cuddy wiped at her eyes, crying softly. He huffed out a breath, figuring he must not have done too bad then. One corner of his mouth lifting, he pledged, "Lisa Cuddy, I hereby promise to make your life interesting and keep you on your toes. I promise to start fires that you'll have to put out and yet to know, or at least try to know, what classifies as going too far. I promise to say things that will scandalize you and that you'll probably hit me for. But I also promise to not cry spousal abuse when you do. I even promise to provide you with the things you need, even if you make more money than I do. Though I just want it to be known right now that your millionth and one pair of Jimmy Choo shoes do not classify as a necessity."

Anyone who had ever seen inside Cuddy's closet or noticed the diversity of footwear she owned, laughed.

House took a deep breath, preparing to finish up. This would be the hard part as he would be further exposing private, hidden pieces of himself to a crowd of witnesses that he'd exposed to only a select few in the past.

"Lisa Cuddy, I love our children. And I love their mother. And I promise today to do what I can to not screw our children up or to embarrass you irreparably while we raise them together. But most of all I promise to love their mother until the day I die and to invest myself in showing you, and them, that love each and every day. I promise to respect you not just for what you've accomplished but for who you are, and to teach them to respect you for the same reasons. I promise to cherish you for everything you are and all you add to my life. I promise to take care of you, through the good and the bad and to love you through every moment of it. Finally, I promise to take you this day as my wife, giving you my whole heart, entrusting it to you willingly and without hesitation. And now I'm going to conclude this sappy speech before Wilson is hauled off to jail for whatever he slipped in my drink to get me to say all this stuff."

House released one of Cuddy's hands and turned momentarily to take the ring that Wilson had ready for him, his best buddy still shaking his head at his last comment. Turning back to Cuddy, House asked, "Lisa Cuddy, knowing the good, the bad, and the ugly, will you accept me anyways as your husband and in return, be my wife?"

"I will," she said confidently, biting her lip to keep from crying again.

"Well, with that established," the officiant spoke up to state, smiling in semi-amusement, "Greg and Lisa, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Greg, you may kiss your bride."

House wasted not a moment, pulling Cuddy into his arms and pressing a sizzling kiss to her lips, which she welcomed, wrapping her arms around his neck, encouraging him, not that he needed the encouragement.

The crowd whistled and catcalled, laughing and clapping heartily.

When Cuddy finally pulled back the officiant turned to the crowd and House waited, gazing at Cuddy, knowing what was coming even if she still had not told him what her decision regarding her last name was to be.

"It is with great pleasure that I present to you all, Mr. and Mrs. Gregory House," he declared.

And Cuddy laughed at the smug look that crossed House's face in that moment, right before he gave her a look that sent off warning bells in her brain. Immediately her expression altered as she recognized the mischievousness of his gaze. She should have known he wasn't going to let the wedding end without incident. He'd behaved himself for the most part. Too well, she acknowledged then.

Cuddy started to back away but it was too late. House grabbed her and lifted her over his shoulder, waiting only a moment for her bridesmaids to stop gasping and spring into action, Erika being the first to rush forward to pull her dress out of his way so that it wouldn't get ripped or cause him to trip before he carefully limped his way down the aisle with the aid of the cane he'd had Wilson keep on standby, just in case, Cuddy protesting in vain the whole way, her face flaming in embarrassment.

* * *

House and Cuddy were dancing to a slow number after photos had been taken, the reception well underway already, her arms wrapped around his neck, her head resting against his chest as he held her at the waist.

"I have another present for you," House murmured lowly in her ear.

Cuddy laughed.

"I'm not quite sure I can handle any more presents," she said then, leaning back enough to see his face and accept a chaste kiss. "Eventually I might die from shock, worried about just who I married and where the real House is. Though that stunt you pulled earlier and the vows you made should probably be enough to reassure me I'm with the House I thought I was marrying."

"Ha ha ha," House quipped sarcastically, one eyebrow quirking at her wryly. "Then forget I said anything. No present for you, you ingrate."

She tugged on his neck. "Okay, okay. I'll bite. Where is it? And what is it?" she asked with suspicion, biting her lip as she awaited his response.

House smiled mischievously, his eyebrows wagging. "Technically, you've already received it. You just don't know it yet. The question is: do you want to?"

Cuddy sighed wearily then, certain that he was referring to something sexual.

"That too," he laughed, reading her mind. "But as that's a gift I'll keep on giving, that's not what I was talking about."

"Just tell me what you're talking about House," she pressed finally, her eyes rolling at him.

He hesitated a moment, glancing away, his mouth twitching before he returned his gaze to her, his eyes revealing he thought whatever he was about to say was worth hearing. Finally he asked, "You remember when I said you're the mother of my children?"

"Yes," she replied in confusion, glancing at their little girls who were both napping across the room in their grandparents' laps exhausted from the busy day they'd had and the dancing they'd already done with anyone who would dance with them, smiling tenderly before returning her eyes to him.

He bent his head down so that his mouth was next to her ear. "You thought I was talking about our two children. But I was talking about the _three_ of them."

Cuddy jerked House to a stop right there in the middle of the dance floor, releasing his neck and sliding her hands down his chest to push him back just enough to see his face. She shook her head at him, her facial expression one of total bewilderment.

House waited for her to speak, watching thoughts flutter across her face and trying to decipher them, amused by her yet expected reaction.

"I'm not pregnant," she finally told him, wondering why in the world he would think she was.

"Boy, not _that _denial is familiar," he wryly joked as he took her hand and led her off the dance floor before reinforcing what he'd just said. "You are, _honey_," he corrected, his hands stroking the skin at the small of her back.

"I'm not, _dear_," she declared adamantly, not understanding why they were now using endearments but going along with it anyway, as if it was a deterrent to them having a full-blown argument or something.

"What's it going to take to convince you?" House inquired. His eyebrows rose as the corners of his mouth curled up in a grin. "Do you need a second opinion?"

"You're not going to convince me, House, because I'm not pregnant. Haven't we had this conversation? I'm telling you. I'm not," she sternly reinforced. "I…" Sighing, she met his eyes and mumbled, "You and I both know that it would take a _miracle_ for me to conceive again. We both know my body… repels sperm," she concluded dryly, her lips quirking as she thought of how IVF had failed, various times.

"Your body just has _class_," House corrected before pointedly adding, his hand tracing circles on her back now, "It repels _unworthy_ sperm. But mine is Grade A. Your body draws it in like a shaky addict lighting up a cigarette. Or popping Vicodin, for that matter."

"While that's a _lovely_ word picture," Cuddy dryly replied, rolling her eyes, "And as _highly _as I think of your sperm, you are _so_ imagining things here House."

He sighed, mumbling, "I'm the most brilliant doctor you've ever met and you _still _doubt me," before releasing her a moment, turning to whistle for Wilson who looked up quizzically from where he stood chatting with Erika, Cameron and Chase, before he then made his way towards them when House waved him over.

"House!" Cuddy exclaimed, her hands going to her hips.

"Well, if you won't accept _my _word for it, what choice do I have but to get you a second opinion?" he muttered in feigned exasperation.

"What's up?" Wilson asked when he reached them, looking from one to the other.

Cuddy shook her head but House just smiled. "I need your help, oh buddy, oh pal. Can you tell my _darling _wife she's pregnant? She doesn't believe me."

Wilson looked at him in surprise, his eyes round. "Wow. _Wow!_ You guys are going to have another baby?!" he asked then, glancing back at Cuddy before fixing his attention on House.

"_Not so loud!"_ House admonished him. "I don't want _everyone_ to know before I can even convince my bride."

"I'm not pregnant!" Cuddy told the both of them through her teeth.

"Well?" House prompted Wilson. "Are you going to tell her or aren't you?"

"I don't even want to know how you came to this conclusion. I'll just take your word for it," Wilson mumbled before he then turned back to Cuddy, who promptly glared at him. He took a step away from her warily but calmly said, "Cuddy, you're pregnant. Congratulations."

"See?" House beseeched, his hands motioning at Wilson as he turned to her. "Isn't that what I just told you?"

To Wilson he simply said, "_Thank you_."

"No problem," Wilson replied, shrugging as if there was nothing to thank him for.

Cuddy stared at Wilson as if she could burn a hole in his head with her eyes.

"Sorry, but when it comes to your body, I've learned from experience to trust House's judgment. He _always_ knows," he informed her before making his escape.

"Hear that? I _always _know. Even Wilson has faith in my ability to know your body." House smiled and then reached for Cuddy, hauling her into his arms while practically dragging her back out onto the dance floor. She allowed him to draw her close but from her body language House could tell Cuddy still did not believe him and was trying to figure out how to disprove his theory. He would clearly have to convince her then.

House pressed a kiss to the side of her head, and then another, waiting for her to relax in his embrace. When she began to he bent his head and brought his lips to her neck, nibbling at her skin before sucking on her earlobe.

Cuddy instantly gasped, her eyes closing in pleasure. She moaned before she could stop herself, pressing herself as close to him as she could in the process, her head tilted to the side to welcome more of his ministrations.

"That's my first proof," he whispered in her ear. "I hardly do anything and you begin to salivate like I'm a juicy steak you can't wait to sink your teeth into."

Cuddy laughed but she thought he was reading too much into it. "First of all, I'm a vegetarian. I don't salivate over steaks. Second of all, House, it's always been like this between us. We've always had this incredible sexual tension between us, boiling over the minute one of us turned up the heat a little. I... think that's partly why I didn't want you to touch me while I was pregnant. It made the connection between us all the more intimate and the flame burn hotter. I think I was afraid of wanting _you_ instead of simply wanting sex. Can you imagine what I would have been like then? How I'd have wanted you all the more?"

House drew back and gave her a bemused look. "Actually, I _can _imagine that because I'm already seeing it play out in _this _pregnancy. So I'm not sure how you think that's an argument _against _you being pregnant right now but... regardless, you can't blame it on the sexual tension between us because once we began to have sex regularly again your self-control reared its ugly head once more. But now you're back to wanting me any chance you can have me, regardless of stupid stuff such as _propriety_ and _being responsible_. Okay, with the _exception _of while we're working but…"

She shook her head, slight traces of annoyance written clearly across her face. But then her eyes changed and she leaned her head to the side, exposing her neck again. "Why don't you come back here and continue what you were doing while you make your next argument?" she invited playfully.

He smiled but brought his mouth back down, his teeth dragging along the length of her neck until his teeth found her collarbone. "Point number two," House mumbled into her skin as they found the far end of the dance floor and he turned her away from the crowd enough to slide a hand between them and place it on her breast, squeezing gently. "The girls are more sensitive these days and they're just slightly more firm than they normally are."

"They do seem to be a little more sensitive than normal," Cuddy acknowledged, allowing him to touch her there just a moment longer before she dropped an arm from his neck and removed his hand from between them, replacing it on her waist. "But they are always a bit sensitive before I get my period," she continued, her arm returning to his neck. "Anyway, they aren't any firmer. That's just your imagination."

House shook his head, silently telling her that he didn't believe her for a minute. "Cuddy, I think I pay enough attention to your breasts these days to pick up on even the slightest changes. But if you don't think so we can head into the nearest bathroom and I'll perform a more in-depth examination of them to be sure."

Cuddy huffed out a disbelieving breath. "How many more points do you have?" she asked wryly, striving valiantly to ignore his commentary as even the thought of following through on that suggestion had her wanting to press him up against the nearest wall, letting people think what they want to.

"How about I finish with just one more?" he offered. "But this one's the kicker."

"Let's hear it," she encouraged albeit resignedly, wanting to get it over with so they could drop the subject once and for all, her mind hopefully stepping back out of the gutter then.

"Your last period was back in March," he stated simply, his eyes focused on hers.

Cuddy's eyebrows furrowed and House pressed a chaste kiss to her lips, a tender smile creeping into his expression.

She shook her head in denial. "I… I probably just missed a couple cycles because I've been stressing over the wedding. I told you last week that my body is out of whack because of being stressed."

House looked at her dubiously. "You mean last week when you were supposedly having _stress _headaches and occasional bouts of nausea?"

"I only felt nauseous that one time," she immediately countered, giving him a dirty look. "And they _were _stress headaches. You yourself said that…"

"What_ did_ I say?" he prompted pointedly when her words trailed off, Cuddy looking thrown.

"That… there is nothing wrong with me that hasn't been wrong with women since the beginning of time," she lamely murmured, shaking her head. And then she really looked at him, her eyes narrowing before she smacked his arm.

He chuckled but mumbled, "Man, we can't even go a day without you taking full advantage of my promise to not cry spousal abuse."

"_House!" _she exclaimed as if aghast. "You thought I was pregnant a week ago and didn't just come out and say what you were thinking?"

"Yeah, because that would have been a smart move," he drolly replied. "What idiot in his right mind would tell a bride-to-be, especially _his _bride-to-be she's a couple months pregnant before she goes down the aisle? You talk about being stressed… Well, that's definitely not going to help things. And anyway, you would have no more believed me then than you do now. Or are you starting to believe me?"

She did not break eye contact, just intently staring back at him, worrying her lip between her teeth after a moment, one hand slipping from his neck to rest lightly against her stomach.

He frowned then in concern, bringing them to a standstill on the dance floor. "What's wrong?" he asked a bit reluctantly as she released him from their embrace. "You don't want to be pregnant?"

"It's not that," she murmured softly, shaking her head as she looked away, trying to come to terms with the idea that he might be right.

House did not feel reassured.

"Are you afraid that what happened with Evie will happen again?" he inquired, taking a step back to see her better and assess her body language.

Her eyes flew back to his. _"Not at all! _ Are _you?"_

He shook his head, his expression serious. "No. I won't let it happen again. If you start to seem depressed, we'll get you on something right away. But I thought you'd be happy about this. I thought you'd be open to more babies, if you thought it was actually a possibility," House stated, obviously in a quandary over how to take her reaction. "I guess now I'm not so sure what to think. But I'm not going to lose you again, Cuddy. So if you are unhappy we're going to have to come up with a course of action fast to make the next seven months as easy on you as possible. Because I want to have another baby with you. More than anything. But I can't watch you be miserable again. Not without doing everything in my power to try and make you happy."

Cuddy's eyes filled with tears, her expression softening. "Oh House," she whispered, launching herself into his arms. "I'm not upset! Just having a hard time believing that it's possible! Who would have ever thought I'd struggle with fertility and then get knocked up twice by you without even trying?! I mean, it's a bit _annoying_ to have you be right and realize that this is the second time you've known before I did," she admitted begrudgingly, but then she cupped his face, stroking his scruff with wonder. "House! Another baby! Oh House, of course I want to have your babies! I'll take as many as I can get!"

House smirked wryly at _that _statement, but wiped a tear from her cheek before meeting her lips in an ardent kiss, his arms wrapping around her to bring her as close as physically possible, deepening the kiss without a second thought as to where they were or who might be watching.

"What do you mean 'without even trying'?" he asked in mock irritation once the kiss came to an end. "Cuddy, I really think I'm going to have to start teaching you Sex Ed. You've clearly missed out on a few important lessons on how babies are made."

"I hope the lessons come with demonstrations," she murmured in his ear, her eyes hooded with desire when they met his.

House's growl was accepted as a satisfactory response. She met his lips, hungry for another taste of the man she had just married and intended to spend forever with.

* * *

"What was that all about?" Cameron asked from beside Wilson shortly after he'd returned from talking with Cuddy and House, bouncing Elliot on her hip, Chase having wandered off to get a drink while Erika walked with Trevor to the bathroom.

He shrugged. "Oh you know. The usual. They were arguing. House told Cuddy she was pregnant and she denied it."

Cameron turned to look at him, surprised.

"I probably wasn't supposed to tell," he muttered then, realizing he might be getting himself in deep water by sharing what was probably privileged information with anyone.

She dragged her thumb and index finger across her mouth as if she was zipping it shut but said, "I can see why that might be concerning."

Wilson knew she was thinking of Evie and what Cuddy and House had both gone through. But he dismissed her concern, his gaze shifting back to them. "They'll be fine this time round."

He was quiet a moment as he shook his head wryly but then he chuckled. "And from the look of things, I would guess that she believes him now," he mumbled a second later.

Cameron focused her attention back on the couple and cringed, laughing. "Someone might want to interrupt _that_ before their celebration goes any farther. They should save _something_ for their wedding night."

Wilson nodded, his mouth pursed as he rubbed a hand over his face in embarrassment as things continued to heat up across the dance floor. "I guess as best man that means I better intervene."

"I'll say," she agreed, still laughing before she gave him a shove. "Go do your job, Wilson."

He shook his head, chagrined, but headed for House and Cuddy to break it up before he saw something he'd live to regret.

* * *

"_**What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas  
But what if it don't?  
What happens in my head stays in my head  
But sometimes it won't  
What if you knew what I was thinking?  
Would it make you like WHOA?  
Don't wanna risk puttin' my foot in it  
So I'll keep my mouth closed**_

**_All you hear is..._**  
**_Mmm, mmm, mmmmm_**  
**_Gonna button my lip so the truth don't slip_**  
**_Mmm, mmm, mmmmm_**  
**_Gotta beep out what I really wanna shout_**  
**_Whoops! Did I say it out loud, did you find out?_**

**_I wanna have your babies  
Get serious like crazy  
I wanna have your babies  
I see 'em springing up like daisies_**

**_Some of my feelings keep escapin'_**  
**_So I make it a joke_**  
**_Nonchalant I keep on fakin'_**  
**_So my heart don't get broke_**  
**_I'm in a big, big, big, big ocean in a tiny little boat_**  
**_I'll only put the idea out there if I know its gonna float_**

**_All you hear is..._**  
**_Mmm, mmm, mmmmm_**  
**_Gonna button my lip_**  
**_So the truth don't slip_**  
**_Mmm, mmm, mmmmm_**  
**_Gotta beep out_**  
**_What I really wanna shout_**  
**_Whoops! Did I say it out loud?_**  
**_Did you find out?_**

**_I wanna have your babies  
Get serious like crazy  
I wanna have your babies  
I see 'em springing up like daisies_**

**_'Cause in my head there's a slot machine  
And I'm bettin' you're the one in my hopes and dreams_**

**_Trust me it would scare you if you knew what was goin' on in my brain_**  
**_Trust me it would scare you that I've picked out the church, all the schools, all the names_**  
**_If you knew it was all about you, every wish, every candle, every coin in a fountain_**  
**_Trust me it would scare you_**

**_That's why I go..._**  
**_Mmm, mmm, mmmmm_**  
**_Mmm, mmm, mmmmm_**

**_Gonna button my lip_**  
**_So the truth don't slip_**  
**_Mmm, mmm, mmmmm_**  
**_Gotta beep out_**  
**_What I really wanna shout_**  
**_Whoops! Did I say it out loud?_**  
**_Did you find out?_**

**_I wanna have your babies  
Get serious like crazy  
I wanna have your babies  
I see 'em springing up like daisies_**

**_Mmm, mmm, mmmmm_**  
**_Gonna button my lip_**  
**_So the truth don't slip_**  
**_Mmm, mmm, mmmmm_**  
**_Gotta beep out_**  
**_What I really wanna shout_**  
**_Whoops! Did I say it out loud?_**  
**_Did you find out?_**

_**I wanna have your babies  
Get serious like crazy  
I wanna have your babies  
I see 'em springing up like daisies  
Mmm, mmm, mmmmm**__**"**_

* * *

Song: "I Wanna Have Your Babies" (Natasha Bedingfield)


	122. At Last

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(This chapter is a definite 'M'. Just FYI.)_

* * *

"Hug me," Evelyn demanded of House as he and Cuddy prepared to say their final goodbyes before leaving for their honeymoon, having slipped away from the Grand Ballroom to make their escape but first have a moment of privacy with the girls.

House chuckled wryly, his mouth quirking, but moved towards her, allowing her to embrace him.

She squeezed him tightly before murmuring, "I am _so proud_ to _officially _call myself your mother-in-law now, Greg. I couldn't ask for a better husband for Lisa. I just want you to know that I love you very much and… just that I'm _so_ proud of you Greg," she concluded tearfully, laughing at herself before she released him, rubbing the sleeves of his tuxedo jacket with affection for a moment as she smiled up at him.

He pursed his mouth but then bent to press a kiss to her cheek. "Thank you. That… that means a lot, Grandma Cuddles," he acknowledged quietly.

She cupped his cheek when he straightened, patting it before dropping her hand to her side.

House's eyes widened when Richard cleared his throat, stepping up even as Cuddy came to stand beside House, leaning against him, her head pressed against his bicep. House accepted the man's hand, shaking it with his.

"Welcome to the family, Greg," Richard genuinely, if wryly said then.

"Thank you," he responded seriously once he'd gotten past his surprise.

Cuddy smiled at her dad, an eyebrow raised, and he caught her eye after nodding and releasing House's hand, grunting at the look she was giving him.

House sucked in a breath then before mumbling, "Guess it's time to say goodbye to the girls."

Cuddy straightened, biting her lip as he called them over from where they'd been playing.

"You have a great week with grandma and grandpa, okay?" House instructed Rachel and Evie as he knelt before them once they'd come over, chucking Rachel affectionately under her chin before tweaking Evie's nose.

Both girls giggled in turn, nodding.

"You're sure you will be alright with them?" Cuddy asked her mom for the fifth time, worrying her lip as she looked from her dad to her mom.

"We'll be perfectly alright," Evelyn promised. "Don't you worry about a thing. We're going to have a great time. Aren't we girls?" she turned to them to ask, both of them nodding once again. Turning back to her daughter and new son-in-law, she instructed, "You just go and enjoy yourselves."

"Give daddy a hug," House mumbled then, already tugging Evie into him in case she didn't come on her own and opening his arm for Rachel to come in for a hug as well, the little girl quickly wrapping her arm around his back, the side of her face pressed to his chest, looking at her little sister who was looking a little uncertain about what was happening before Rachel looked up at her daddy.

"You'll come back?" she asked then, her lip trembling, needing to be reassured as this was really the first time both of her parents had left her at once.

"I'll always come back, Rachel," House promised, kissing her forehead. "Mommy and I will be back in a week and we'll make sure to bring both of you presents."

"Pwesents," Evie echoed, her eyes lighting up as she beamed up at him and then at her sister.

"Yeah," House replied with a smirk, pressing a kiss to her forehead too. "Presents for you and presents for Rachel." Directing his gaze to his oldest, he asked, "You'll take good care of your grandma and grandpa while we're gone? Cookie Monster too? You'll give your little sister some loving when she misses mommy and daddy and needs a hug from her big sister?"

She nodded, glancing to her grandma and grandpa who both gave her smiles before she looked to her little sister and wrapped her arm around her protectively.

"Thank you, little big girl," he said then, stroking her cheek before he got up so that Cuddy could say her goodbyes.

Cuddy stepped over, lifting the hem of her wedding dress slightly as she did so before she knelt down before them, immediately gathering them into her arms, pressing kisses to both of their cheeks before cupping the opposite cheek of each of her little girls, leaning back to see their faces as they looked at her. "Daddy and I are going to miss you both _so much! _But we're going to call you every day we're gone and at the end of the week we'll be back home with you. Grandma and grandpa are _really _excited that they get to spend the week with you two. You girls are going to have so much fun with them! They've got lots of fun things planned. And grandma House is going to come visit you too while she's still in town. Will you both have fun for me? Will you draw me lots of pictures?"

"We will, mommy," Rachel promised solemnly.

Cuddy gathered them back into her arms, kissing them both again, murmuring, "I love you so much baby," to each girl in turn.

"I love you too, mommy," Rachel murmured before starting to cry.

"Oh baby, don't cry! Mommy didn't mean to make you cry! We'll be back soon. And you're going to have _such _a good time!" Cuddy soothed as she rocked Rachel awkwardly against her a moment, Evie standing beside them, looking at her sister doubtfully.

"Come to gramma, sweet girl," Evelyn murmured then, picking Rachel up when she reluctantly released her mommy and turned to her grandma, wiping at her face with a fist.

Evelyn kissed Rachel's head when she tucked it upon her grandma's shoulder, sniffing, while Cuddy stroked her back with Evie now in her arms, cuddling close.

"It's been a long day," Evelyn reassured her daughter. "They'll be fine, Lisa. Rachel's just tired. They both are."

Cuddy continued to look worried but Richard stepped up to take Evie from her. "Come to grampa, peanut," he said, reaching for her, Evie willingly going into his arms.

Cuddy sighed, glancing at House who was pursing his own mouth, his brow knit, before she leaned in to kiss each girl one more time. Then she managed a half-smile for her mother as she placed a hand on her arm, leaning in to kiss her cheek as well.

"Thanks for watching the girls for us. I do know they are in good hands. And thank you for all you've done to help me…" She paused, shaking her head, deciding to start over. "_Thank you _mom," she began again in earnest, "for all you've done to help make this day even remotely possible. I don't just mean for helping with all the wedding arrangements, though I'm so grateful for all your help. But what I mean is thank you for _all _you've done. House and I… we'd never have gotten here if not for you. So… _Thank you!" _she emphasized, laughing wryly as she wiped away an errant tear.

"Don't make _me _cry! I've already shed enough tears today," Evelyn replied, huffing as she found herself having to adjust Rachel so that she could wipe at her own eyes regardless. "Honey, I'm just so glad that you're both happy! I'm so glad that you're _here – _that you've _arrived _at this point. And I… All I could ever ask is for my children to be happy and loved. And you are! So… go enjoy yourselves! We'll be here when you get back."

Cuddy nodded, wiping another tear before she turned to her dad, laughing brokenly at the look on his face. He huffed out a breath but then smiled as if it cost him to do so. "Go enjoy your honeymoon," he drolly mumbled, shaking his head. "We've got this covered."

She laughed but threw her arms around him and Evie, hugging him before she murmured, "Thanks dad! And thank you for letting my hand go when we reached the end of the aisle," she teased, laughing again.

"You mean I had a choice?" he dryly replied, raising an eyebrow although she couldn't see him do so.

She chose not to answer, shaking her head in amusement before releasing him so that she could lean up and press a kiss to his cheek now, sighing once she had, kissing Evie once more before turning to House.

"You ready to go?" he asked hesitantly.

She bit her lip but nodded. "We better leave while we still can."

He nodded and then smiled wryly when she reached for his hand.

"Our things are already in the limo?" she checked.

"Yeah," House replied before they both looked to the girls and Cuddy's parents.

"We'll see you in a week!" Evelyn called out, motioning with one hand for them to skedaddle, shaking her head at how reluctant they were to leave now that it was time to.

House smirked but nodded his agreement before huffing out a breath and turning away to actually do this.

Cuddy shared a look with him and then she smiled before being the first to take a step away. But that was all it took for Rachel to jerk in her grandma's arm, calling out, "Daddy!"

House released Cuddy's hand to turn around and Evelyn reluctantly set down the squirming girl as she tried to get free. He squatted then to receive her when she came running, Cuddy's hand on his shoulder to steady him as their oldest threw herself into his arms.

"Daddy, I love you!" Rachel cried, her arms around his neck. "I love you so much! You love me?"

Realizing that he hadn't told her he loved her in saying his goodbyes, he held her tighter and struggled to swallow the lump of emotion in his throat at having her need to hear the words. "I love you, Rachel," he mumbled when he could speak. "I love you very much. You're my little big girl. And daddy is going to call you tomorrow night to check in on you and find out what kind of trouble you're getting into with grandma and grandpa while daddy's away, okay?"

"Okay," she breathed, relaxing her hold on him and then sighing her relief before looking up at him. "You give me my kisses now?"

"Yeah," he replied with a smirk, kissing her once before she pulled his head down so that she could give him butterfly kisses, her little lashes fluttering against his cheek as she smiled at him.

He picked her up then, slowly getting to his feet before bringing her back to her grandma, buzzing her neck before he turned her over to Evelyn.

"I love you too, Evie," he said, covering his bases as he took her from Richard and kissed her as well.

"Dada, lub," his baby echoed, patting his cheeks as she grinned up at him before being handed back to her grandpa.

He shot a wry look at Evelyn who quickly took pity on him. "Let's wave goodbye to mommy and daddy," she told the girls, waving, both of them immediately joining her.

"Bye mommy! Bye daddy!" Rachel called to them as House rejoined Cuddy.

"Ba-bye!" Evie chorused, waving her little hand about. "Ba-bye! Ba-bye!"

Cuddy took House's hand again and squeezed it before they waved at the girls before walking away.

"I didn't think that would be so hard," House mumbled dryly as they finally passed through the doors and approached the waiting limo.

"You didn't?" Cuddy asked dubiously as the limousine driver moved to open the door for them to climb within.

"_No!_ I've been waiting to get out of there for the last three hours." He shook his head but then helped her into the limo before climbing in himself. "I think the last ten minutes exhausted me more than everything else," House wryly admitted.

She smiled but as the limo driver climbed into the front seat and started the engine, she couldn't help but chant softly under her breath, "It's only a week, it's only a week, it's only a week," until the limo pulled away and House drew her close, Cuddy releasing her preoccupation as he cupped her jaw and brought her mouth to his, promptly putting forth his best effort to distract them both.

* * *

Cuddy laughed as House actually opted to pick her up and carry her over the threshold upon arriving at the honeymoon suite where they were staying in Philadelphia, set to fly out in the morning for Savannah where they'd rent a car, honeymooning at Sea Island. He set her back down and then waited for the man who was bringing their bags up to arrive so that he could tip him. Once the door was closed though, he directed his attention back to Cuddy who bit her lip as she smiled at him.

Turning her back to him, she asked from over her shoulder, "Would you like to help me with my dress?"

He didn't answer but came up behind her, his hands finding the ends of the lace tying her corset and slowly undoing it for her to free her.

She swallowed hard as the dress parted down her back but murmured, "I'm glad we didn't do rice. I'd hate to know how much rice I'd have spilling out of this dress if we'd gone that route rather than have guests throw flower petals at us."

He chuckled as he finished undoing the corset lacing and then reached around her to draw her back against him, his hand against her belly.

She promptly gasped, tensing against him and he frowned thoughtfully before he asked dubiously, "Cuddy, are you nervous?"

"I…" Unable to answer right away, she raised her hands to her face, covering it before she mumbled from between her pinkies, "I don't know why I am. It isn't as if we have never had sex before. But I… I guess I just feel like there's a lot of pressure for this to be perfect. This is our wedding night. We only get one. It's why I wanted us to abstain for a few days and build up the anticipation, even roping my mom into helping me stick to my intentions, but... what if it was all for naught and it... isn't _perfect?_ Because now I'm tired and emotional anyway and… I just don't want to disappoint you House."

He stood there, not knowing what to say for a moment before he finally settled on saying, "Cuddy, we can just go to bed tonight if you want."

"_No!"_ she immediately protested, turning around in his arms when he released her enough so that she could. "This is our wedding night! We only get one!"

"I heard you when you said that the first time," he wryly replied, an eyebrow raised before he smiled and shook his head. "But I do get that this has been a long day and so… I won't be disappointed if you aren't up for…"

"_House!"_ she interrupted, shaking her head. "Is that supposed to be _comforting?_ Because I'm pretty sure if I just wanted to sleep and you _weren't _disappointed by that, I'd be fairly upset about that too."

He swiped a hand over his face, deciding he wasn't going to win either way.

Cuddy in turn smiled softly and then said, "House, I _want _to make love with you tonight. I'm just… I'm just saying that I'm slightly nervous and…"

"I get it," he filled in, dropping his hand. "You don't want to disappoint me if tonight isn't the best sex we've ever had. But Cuddy, regardless of whatever you think I'm expecting what _I_ care about is that this night is special for _you. _So the pressure… goes both ways. Not because I'm worried about having _issues _tonight but because… I want it to be good for you, I want it to be everything you've imagined your wedding night to be like… and yet, I have no clue what you've imagined so…"

"Oh," she murmured, considering that.

Expelling a breath of air, he raked a hand through his hair in frustration at not being able to come up with anything remotely helpful and then just tugged at his tie before suggesting, "How about we just take things as they come?"

"I… Okay," she agreed, slowly breathing in before breathing out. "I'm… I'm going to go get ready in the bathroom."

"Okay," he nodded, giving her a small smile as he leaned in to gently kiss her before drawing back to allow her to slip away.

She smiled up at him, somewhat wryly, but cupped his face tenderly before she kissed him one more time, just as gently as with their previous kiss. Stepping back reluctantly she turned and reached for the smaller bag she'd put aside for tonight.

"Wait," he mumbled then, Cuddy pausing in response to look back at him.

He studied her for a second, his head tilted slightly to the side before asking, "Do me a favor before you go?"

She nodded, waiting for him to tell her what that favor was to be.

House smirked slightly but then suggested, "Help me out of the monkey suit?"

Cuddy bit her lip but smiled before leaving her bag where it sat to slowly return to him, fairly certain this was meant to calm her down and make her feel less vulnerable, although it was equally plausible that he just wanted out of his tux and didn't know whether or not he could get away with removing it without her being present for that. Looking up at him she set her hands upon the lapels of his tuxedo and then brought them down along the edges of his jacket, one palm being tickled by the already unbuttoned buttons before she parted his tuxedo jacket completely, slipping her hands within to rest against his black cummerbund before sliding them up to his dress shirt, slowly drawing them up over his chest. Rather than go for his bowtie she decided to remove his tuxedo jacket entirely and used her hands to push it from his shoulders before sliding it down his arms and freeing him of it completely.

She placed it on the nearby bed while House went over to his suitcase, unzipping the outside pocket he'd shoved the hanger and plastic wrapping into earlier, tossing that on the bed as well.

Cuddy took a minute to admire him before she moistened her lips and wrapped her arms around him to remove his cummerbund, undoing the buckle in back. House took advantage of her closeness to bring his own hands to her sides, sliding them up and down the silky bodice of her dress until she stepped back.

"I've been dragged to my share of weddings, Cuddy," he told her solemnly when she looked up at him almost shyly. "But I've never seen a more beautiful bride than my own."

Her mouth twitched but then she whispered, "Thank you," before she adjusted her hold on his cummerbund so as to slide her hands back up his chest, settling them on his shoulders, cummerbund dangling, before she leaned up into him to kiss him once more, her eyes fluttering closed as the kiss lingered sweetly.

With reluctance she broke the kiss to breathe and moved away to set his cummerbund down before she reached up and undid his bowtie, her eyes flicking from what she was doing to meet his eyes as she removed that as well.

Then she retrained her eyes on her hands after putting down the bowtie, reaching to undo the buttons on his dress shirt.

As she was breathing a bit raggedly now House guessed he'd accomplished what he'd intended to. He moved his head to the side and brought it down to kiss the side of her neck, Cuddy's breath stuttering at the contact before she slowly released it, offering her neck to him as she continued to unbutton his shirt before her hands reached his pants.

She paused for a moment, her eyes closing entirely as she focused on his mouth upon her skin, his scruff prickling her flesh and leaving it awash with delight, Cuddy trembling with the desire that was now flooding her senses with raw want. When he bit down lightly on her trapezius muscle between her neck and shoulder, she moaned before blindly undoing his pants, allowing them to fall to the floor unheeded while she focused on taking his shirt off of him now, House straightening in order to allow her to do so before toeing off his shoes and stepping out of his pants, nudging the pile aside with his foot.

She regretted the loss of his attentions to her neck but welcomed the opportunity to finally have her fingers against his t-shirt as she pushed the dress shirt off much as she had his tuxedo jacket, momentarily disappointed when House moved to pick it up, tossing it onto the bed himself and removing his socks while he was at it before he turned to her and smiled.

"I love you," she murmured when their eyes met, her hands trembling as she reached out to remove his t-shirt now.

He captured her lips again, kissing her softly. Cuddy licked her lips when he drew back to allow her to continue undressing him, releasing a tumultuous breath as her fingers slid under his t-shirt and little by little lifted it up before removing it altogether, pulling it over his head.

Moving into him then, she placed her forehead against his bare chest to calm her racing heart, no longer nervous but decidedly worked up all the same. Her hands found his waist, his t-shirt dangling from a couple fingers, and she just braced herself there against him while House brought a hand to her neck, stroking his finger down its nape and along her exposed spine all the way to the small of her back before he trailed his fingers back up again.

He smiled when she shivered at his caress but then offered quietly, "Why don't you go get ready for bed? Take all the time you want. I'm just going to hang up my tux."

She brought her chin in so that she could kiss his chest before she nodded against him, reluctantly stepping away. He took his t-shirt from her when she handed it to him but then focused on the pile of formalwear awaiting his attention while she picked up her bag once more and threw one last glance at him where he stood in his black silk boxers reaching for the hanger, before she took a breath and slipped within the bathroom, placing her bag upon the counter.

"House," she called back to him after thoughtfully looking at her reflection.

"Yeah?" he replied, turning to look in her direction.

"I think I'm going to take a quick shower," she said then, meeting his gaze in the mirror.

"Okay," he responded uncertainly, not sure if she was looking for his permission or was trying to communicate something else entirely. "Do you need me to help you unpin your hair or something?"

Cuddy smiled at his confusion before turning to face him. "No. I'm going to leave it up for now. I won't get it wet. I just… I don't want to change without you being able to see what I have on under my wedding dress," she explained.

His eyebrows rose with definite interest and Cuddy's smile grew accordingly. She took a few steps out of the bathroom but then slid the bodice of her dress forward since he'd already undone the back, before allowing the dress to fall and pool around her calves. House stood there, staring at her before he finally managed to swallow hard and move towards her.

She waited for him, her eyes never leaving his even as his eyes moved over her to take in her white strapless bra, the back made of lace with an eyelet trim, the matching white garter belt that rested low on her waist and over her matching panties, made of white silk but then trimmed also with white lace with an eyelet trim, and the attached suspenders that then connected to her thigh-high white stockings, which he _had _seen in removing her garter while still at the reception, Cuddy having blushed prettily when he did so with his teeth despite the hard stare she'd seen her dad give him moments before when the time for garter and bouquet-tossing was announced.

House swallowed hard again as he came to stand before her, Cuddy taking a step forward to leave her dress behind, his hands settling on her waist and pinkies just tickling the top of her garter belt as he spread his hands over her sides. She then raised her hands to place them around his neck, knowing from the way he was looking at her that another kiss was coming her way. When he pulled her into him, groaning, she had to bite back her own moan at the evidence pressing against her, testifying of his rather obvious physical response to her state of undress.

"Do you need help removing what's left of your clothes?" he asked lowly, his voice coming out gravelly as he drew her even closer, lowering his head so that he could meet her halfway.

She laughed breathily against his chin. "If you help me, I'll never make it into what I intended to wear for you tonight."

"I'm okay with that," he informed her drolly, one hand sliding up her back to slip a finger under the band of her bra where he knew it came apart.

She smiled but shook her head. "Kiss me, House. And then let me go shower."

He grunted his displeasure with that idea but kissed her anyway, this kiss quickly heating up as one hand moved around to her back and then lower still to press her more intimately against him, Cuddy gasping and House immediately taking full advantage of that to slip his tongue in her mouth. They kissed desperately, clinging to one another until House dropped his hands and stepped back, striving to hold on to the last shred of his self-control.

Cuddy lost her balance in his abrupt release but he quickly steadied her with a hand to her arm before he dropped it from her again. "Go before I change my mind," he instructed, his eyes reflecting how he was battling within himself for restraint.

She swallowed hard, nodding and then quickly turned to pick up her wedding dress and put it aside before she made her way into the bathroom, House groaning as he watched her walk away, now able to see from what little evidence there was, that she was wearing a G-string. When the bathroom door closed behind her he raked an agitated hand through his hair before turning back to the bed and away from temptation as he determined he'd hang up his tux and be done with it, hanging up her dress as well before locating the box he'd dropped off with the hotel staff the night before, after leaving Cuddy and prior to returning to his hotel. Then he set about preparing the room for her return, putting a quick call in to room service for some champagne, just in case.

* * *

Cuddy paused after redressing following her shower, placing a hand to her belly, allowing herself to momentarily get sidetracked with the idea of once more being pregnant with House's child. While she trusted House completely, fully convinced now of the accuracy of his argument, she still had a hard time grasping that she was going to have a baby with him once more. And she knew House would roll his eyes when she told him but she really did want to run out and buy a pregnancy test ASAP, just to have that proof as well. _A baby._ _Another one._ She just couldn't wrap her mind around it.

Leaning her forehead against the door, the only thing separating her from returning to House now, she took a second to breathe, steeling herself to return to him. Her belly was fluttering as if with butterflies but she knew it was only slightly nerves and mostly, anticipation. Closing her eyes briefly she then straightened and reached for the door handle, turning it.

She blinked in surprise upon opening the bathroom door and turning off the light behind her. House had pulled down the sheets on the bed, all the way to the bottom, folding them there out of the way. Rose petals were strewn over the bed and the carpet as well, a thick trail of them leading right up to the bathroom door though they were also spread throughout the rest of the room as well, and he had her favorite scented soy candles lit and scattered here and there, casting the room in soft shadows while music played softly in the background. She did not see him in front of her but then she felt his presence as he stepped up behind her, having just placed the champagne and ice bucket with its accompanying flutes down, wrapping his arms around her, his hands sliding within the open front of her white silk babydoll rather unintentionally to rest flat against her bare belly, though neither would complain about that as he bent to kiss her shoulder and neck, his nose nudging her fluted lace strap as he kissed her skin, Cuddy wrapping one arm up and around his neck before she turned her head to kiss him deeply.

"Take me to bed, House," she murmured when their lips momentarily parted, blinking up at him through lowered lashes.

He groaned and then surprised her by lifting her up into his arms to carry her to the bed, carefully placing her upon it. She immediately licked her lips and scooted back so that he could follow her.

"What did I ever do to deserve you, Cuddy?" he asked disbelievingly in utter seriousness as he followed her onto the bed, his eyes leaving hers to rake over her gorgeous legs, barely there panties, naked belly and encased chest before meeting her eyes once more, swallowing hard.

"I ask myself the same question all the time, House," she replied softly as her eyes wandered over him.

"You ask what I did to deserve you too?" he teased with an eyebrow quirked, his eyes momentarily drawn to her cleavage spilling out of the top of her babydoll.

Cuddy pushed herself upright to lean forward, wrapping her arms around his neck to draw his body on top of hers, the fluted edges of her babydoll fluttering to her sides. "No," she corrected seriously, shaking her head slightly. "I ask myself how I ever got so lucky as to have you in my life, let alone my bed."

He captured her lips hungrily as he lowered his weight on top of her, Cuddy's legs instantly wrapping around his waist, and he smiled against her lips before he turned his attention 100% to making this the best night of her life.

* * *

Cuddy lay on her back beside House sometime later, pressed up against him as he lay on his side, his right hand propping his head up while his left arm draped over them both so that his hand could trace circles on her bare belly, the blankets yet untouched at the bottom of the bed and both of them completely naked. While his hand was on her belly, his _eyes _were on her breasts and she laughed at him before covering his hand with her own and trapping it upon her belly.

He brought his gaze to meet hers and smirked at her amusement before he leaned in to kiss her softly. He'd long since taken down her hair which was now spread out across her pillow, and as he drew back he took a moment to take her in, his eyes wandering over her facial features before he leaned in to kiss her again.

"Are you happy?" he asked her then.

"You know I am," she replied, grinning up at him.

He did know that, he could see that, but he liked hearing her say so.

"Are you happy?" she inquired in turn.

"You know I am," he repeated, smirking broadly.

She bit her lip, studying him, before she murmured, "House?"

"Yeah?" he responded.

"I'm going to have your baby," she continued in a whisper.

He laughed at the expression on her face before his gaze shifted back to their hands upon her belly.

"And this time… things are going to be _so _different," she promised.

"Yeah?" he inquired, an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah," she confirmed with a nod, her eyes focused on his, staring into their depths.

He pursed his mouth in a smile but said nothing, returning his eyes to her stomach, stroking her skin as Cuddy adjusted her hand to allow him to, her fingers sliding to his wrist.

"I'm going to insist upon you touching my belly every day," she informed him. "And I'm going to tell the whole world that this baby is yours and…"

"I'm pretty sure they'll assume that much," he interjected with amusement.

"And I'm going to take my time making love with you," she picked back up as if he hadn't said anything. "And… when I'm in the delivery room, I'm going to spend the whole time telling you how wonderful I think you are."

"You're either planning to be higher than a kite or you're being extremely unrealistic about how much pain you're going to be in," he quipped wryly.

"No, I mean it," she asserted, staring at him with determination. _"Everything _will be different this time round."

"Cuddy," he said finally, "I am _really _looking forward to enjoying this pregnancy with you. But… I'm not looking for you to try and make up for the past. I don't want you to worry about that either. I just… want you to enjoy being pregnant this time."

Cuddy swallowed hard against the emotion clogging her throat but House didn't give her time to respond before his lips twitched and he mumbled, "I do have one question though."

She bit her lip but then prompted, "Hmm?"

He smirked, slipping his hand up her stomach to trail it up to her breast, tracing circles around one nipple then as his gaze followed his fingers progress before meeting hers. "Are you going to breastfeed?"

"Are you looking at my breasts as mammary glands right now or as part of my sexual anatomy?" she queried, her forehead wrinkling.

"Aren't they both?" he retorted with a grin.

She rolled her eyes and reached up to cease the movement of his finger, though she then placed his palm over her breast before moving her hand to cover it, trapping his hand there. "Do you want me to breastfeed?" she asked curiously.

"Don't _you _want to?" he turned around and asked her, watching her as he waited for her answer.

"I do," she admitted, not having to think about it. "I do."

House smiled, obviously pleased with her answer, and she laughed before shaking her head at him.

"Are you…? No. Never mind. I don't want to know," she decided, opting to let the topic go for now.

"I'm not sure even I know my motivations on this one," he quipped, quirking an eyebrow at her before smirking when her nipple hardened against his palm.

"It's just a reaction to being touched," she dismissed with a roll of her eyes before she decided to take his hand off her breast and return it to her belly, trying hard to ignore how House's attention immediately zeroed in on her breast in her moving his hand, his eyes darkening with lust despite how they'd just had sex for the second time.

"When am I due?" Cuddy asked then in redirection, assuming he'd already done the calculations even if an OB-GYN would confirm everything.

"Shortly after Christmas," he replied after a moment, shaking his head to clear it and concentrate on the conversation they were in the middle of having, his eyes returning to his hand upon her belly in an effort to help him focus. "The 29th, if I have my facts straight."

"And that makes me…" she began, trailing off for him to fill in the rest of her sentence, not caring to do the math herself when he could easily tell her what she wanted to know.

"Nine weeks along today," House told her rather smugly.

Cuddy bit her lip to try and restrain her smile but still asked with a trace of concern, "And you aren't at all worried I'll miscarry?"

"No," he replied honestly, shaking his head. "I mean, it's possible but… I don't think so. You've made it to your ninth week without problems _and _while being stressed with planning this wedding. I think we're in the clear. Besides," he added. "My spawn love being in your uterus. They don't waste any time in setting up shop."

She made a noise of protest and smacked his arm lightly. "Don't call our baby a spawn!"

He chuckled but then rubbed her belly soothingly as if to take the sting out of his words.

She smiled before thinking to counter wryly, "Except this time I didn't get pregnant the first time we had sex."

"I have a theory about that," House offered with a shrug.

"Oh boy," she sarcastically muttered. "This ought to be good."

He chuckled again but remained silent until she finally pressed, "So what's the theory?"

"Well," he began dramatically. "Last time my boys pulled out all the stops. They knew they had one shot and they better take it. But this time they knew they'd have another shot since you're clearly infatuated with me now so they waited until they had a nice supply of reserves before sending them in, in droves."

"How very intelligent of them," Cuddy quipped dryly. _"Strategic _even."

"They are _extremely _intelligent Cuddy," he told her as if it wasn't to be questioned. "After all, they're _my_ boys."

She groaned and rubbed a hand over her face but then rolled over so she could face him, biting her lip when House's hand immediately found its way to cupping her ass.

"So now that I'm already pregnant, what are your _boys _up to?" she couldn't resist asking, her eyes shifting down his body as she moistened her lips, starting to get cold and thinking it was either time to pull up the sheets or time for him to warm her up again.

"They're doing dry runs every chance they get to prepare for the next time they're called to active duty," he replied, waggling his eyebrows at her for effect when she looked up at him next, her expression mildly amused but mostly sardonic.

But then she pushed herself up on her hands and knees, moving to straddle him. "Are they up for one more dry run tonight or did their drill sergeant already instruct them to hit their bunks?"

"Oh, I think they have one more dry run in them," he responded without hesitation, his hands already sliding up from her knees to her thighs.

"Good," Cuddy murmured as she lowered herself onto his stomach, shaking her hair back and smiling down at him when his hands immediately found her breasts. "Because as tired as I am and as much as I know we have a flight to catch in the morning, right now all I want is to be on the receiving end of another dry run."

She laughed wryly when House released a breast to salute her, quipping, "Greg House and his boys, ma'am, reporting for duty!"

And then she did her best to make him forget all about his boys by making sure _she_ had his undivided attention.

* * *

May 27th, 2012

After arriving in Savannah, House and Cuddy drove down the coast of Georgia in the Corvette Convertible he had insisted upon renting, crossing the Frederica River Bridge onto St. Simons Island before taking the bridge to Sea Island. He laughed at her for insisting upon holding his hand the whole way.

He took one look around the living area of their Ocean Villa one bedroom Ocean View suite after checking in and shot her a wry look.

"What?" Cuddy asked as if she had no idea why he was looking at her like that, though one corner of her mouth quirked up after asking.

"It's feminine," he griped.

"No, it's Southern," she countered.

He rolled his eyes, pursing his lips, but said no more, walking over to look out the bank of windows along one wall.

She smiled and then approached him, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind him as she looked out the window with him, peeking out around his arm. "And just so you know, I did my best to find the _least _feminine room I could when I made our reservation."

He gave her another look but she ignored him, looking out the window now. Gesturing, she pointed out, "Look, we're between the sand dunes and the marshes. We've got our own private balcony, lots of space, a deep tub to soak in… _together_. I'm _extremely _pleased with everything."

He turned around to face her, his hands settling on her waist, and smirked before he leaned down to kiss her, Cuddy happily wrapping her arms around his neck to kiss him back.

"Should we call the girls?" he asked when he broke the kiss, his forehead wrinkling.

Cuddy immediately laughed at where his mind was when she was already thinking about testing out the bed in the bedroom behind them, but all the same she nodded, releasing him and stepping back.

A minute later he had an excited Rachel squealing in his ear and launching into what she and Evie were up to as he followed Cuddy into the bedroom, dragging a suitcase behind him as she pulled her own ahead of him.

She watched him with affection as she unpacked her suitcase then, waiting patiently for her turn to talk to the girls and find out how they were doing before she and House figured out what they wanted to do with the rest of their day.

* * *

May 29th, 2012

Cuddy gasped as House wasted no time in shoving her up against the door to their suite as they returned to it after getting dinner at the Georgian Room, his body pressing into hers a second later as his hands clutched at her waist, his mouth catching hers, the hallway for the moment anyway, deserted.

She knew they needed to get inside and get inside _quickly_, but all the same she found her hands tangling in his shirt, holding him to her as she kissed him back rather desperately. She'd struck a deal with him. If he would go with her to dine at the Georgian Room and dress up as was required, she'd let him decide what they did with the rest of their evening. Cuddy had no complaints so far with his plan for tonight. After the way he'd been eyeing her throughout dinner, she'd known his intention was to make her pay for it while on her back, and honestly, had been eagerly anticipating just how he _might_ "exact revenge." Though she hadn't exactly thought she'd be on her back _against a door_.

When he released her mouth to press forceful kisses to her jawline and then her neck, her hands hurriedly reaching for his buckle between them, undoing it hastily as her head fell back against the door, she swallowed hard, moaning then at what his mouth was doing to her, not to mention how House's thigh was already insinuated between her own.

It wasn't until she had his belt and zipper undone, House's hands on her thighs as he shoved her dress up, that she remembered where they were and where they _needed _to be.

Another moan being torn from her throat, she hoped desperately that there wasn't a security camera focused on them and filming this before she managed to gasp out, "House, get the door open. _Now!_"

He huffed a protest but then shoved one hand in his back pocket to dig out the key card, his other hand not moving from her upper thigh where it was bunching her dress up and holding it out of his way.

She gave a strangled cry as he rocked against her in pulling the key card free from his back pocket, her hands immediately finding their way to his backside under his dinner jacket to press him against her, need ratcheting through her, Cuddy growing more desperate by the second.

"_Hurry!" _she cried out before gasping again, feeling helpless to _not_ allow one of her hands to dive within as his pants began to slide down, grasping his ass firmly through his boxers as her other hand remained where it was so that his pants wouldn't fall down completely.

"_I'm trying!" _he ground out as his hand awkwardly sought to shove the key card in the reader, missing it completely in the first couple attempts.

_Finally _it beeped to let him know they could enter and he shoved the handle down before moving his hand back to Cuddy quickly, trying to steady her as the door opened, the two of them stumbling within.

She laughed breathlessly at how desperate they both were to have sex again but wasted no time in steering him towards the nearest wall of the entryway, relieved when the door swung shut behind them, House's pants falling to end up around his ankles. But he was already pulling her dress up higher so that he could shove his hand in her panties and then there was no more laughing as she cried out at the intrusion of two fingers, clutching at the lapels of his dinner jacket that they still hadn't gotten off him as his thumb worked her clit, the wall against House's back, Cuddy having no other support to keep her upright than House himself, her legs shaky at best as she separated them further to make room for his thrusting hand.

He caught her mouth, kissing her hungrily, but she couldn't kiss him back and remain upright at the same time. It was too much.

"House," she managed to barely voice against his cheek after she'd broke the kiss and turned her head so he couldn't kiss her again, moistening her lips several times in an attempt to get them to function as he bent his head to go for her neck instead. "Mmm… We need to… We… We need to get your… _Oooh._ Your shoes off. I… I'm going to fall… and take you… aaaah… take you with me… if we don't."

The thought that she was going to die if she didn't have him inside her soon, flitted through her brain, but she couldn't release her grasp on his dinner jacket to yank his boxers down and out of their way, even if she thought they could pull this off against the wall, which she really didn't, especially with his pants still trapped around his ankles.

Argh, why did the washer and dryer in their suite have to be another fifteen feet away from them? At least if he got her on top of one, they'd have a better chance of…

Cuddy cried out, her head falling back and lolling on her shoulders, when House's fingers drove into her harder in his unsuccessful attempt to just kick off his shoes so that he could escape his pants.

Disgruntled, he made an irritated noise in his throat but then withdrew his hand from her and her panties in frustration, Cuddy gasping at the feeling of loss she then experienced before she realized why he'd pulled out and quickly released his dinner jacket to toe off her own heels and fall before him, hurriedly helping him remove his shoes while he leaned back against the wall, breathing hard, and then shoved his pants off his feet as he pulled one foot free before freeing the other.

And then there was nothing stopping her as she looked up at him from where she sat, her hands reaching up to free him of his boxers as well, Cuddy's eyes on the prize as he stepped out of them, and she licked her lips before wrapping one hand around him, pushing herself up on her knees so that she was kneeling before him, her free hand wrapping around the top of his good thigh, her other hand working him a couple times before she brought her mouth to him, wrapping her lips around him before opening wider to take him in, moaning with anticipation.

House's hands found their way into her hair and he tried not to grasp on too tightly but what she was doing to him had him barely in control of himself at present.

He grunted as he watched her take him in and then bob up and down on him, eyes locked on his, smiling around him, and when her other hand found his ass he could no longer help himself. He had to thrust forward.

Cuddy moaned but took him deeper, rocking her own pelvis forward in response to what she was doing to him, House's control quickly slipping as he thrust again, going deeper still. She hummed then, loving that she could do this to him, staring up at him through lidded eyes as he bucked into her mouth time and again, grunting enthusiastically, cursing when she hummed. And then she hoped her grasp on his ass would be enough because she desperately needed her other hand back so that she could touch herself while doing this to him.

House groaned when her hand left him to find its way under her dress, Cuddy rocking harder now even as he continued to thrust into her mouth, one hand finding its way to the back of her neck to lend support and keep her steady as she shuddered, closing in on her own orgasm. But it was killing him that he couldn't see her hand at work, nor any of what remained covered as she was still fully clothed, and finally he forced himself to pull out of her mouth, Cuddy whining in frustration at having him do so.

"Take… Take your dress off," he managed to grumble, pushing her hand away when it tried to return to grasp him firmly, her thumb momentarily swiping over his tip and causing him to groan and jerk.

Cuddy huffed but resignedly removed her hand from under her dress after circling her clit one last time, reaching behind her hurriedly then to lower the zipper on her dress before finding her way to her feet even as she instructed, "_House, _take the rest of your clothes off too."

And then he was yanking his dinner jacket off and throwing it aside before rushing to undo the buttons on his shirt, Cuddy already pulling the dress off of her shoulders and down to free her arms before shimmying her hips to cause it to fall to the floor.

He groaned, having been watching her rather than the buttons he was undoing, and then his hands left his buttons altogether to reach for her as she stepped out of her dress.

"Front clasp," she mumbled with a shake of her head when he pulled her against him and tried to reach behind her, her fingers meanwhile slipping into the sides of her panties to push them off her hips before reaching to undo what was left of his buttons for him as she shimmied again, stepping out of her underwear when they reached her ankles and using a toe to push them aside too and out of the way.

"Thank God," he muttered as he finally found and undid the clasp, shoving her cups to the sides before his hands molded eagerly to her breasts, lifting them up and squeezing them enthusiastically, House licking his lips hungrily as his eyes darkened further.

She gasped, her eyes fluttering shut briefly before she forced them open. But now that she had his shirt unbuttoned, there was little she could do to get him out of it until he dropped his hands from her chest. And with the look of awe on his face, she figured that might be a while. So rather than squabble with him, with a smirk she instead pulled her bra straps down her arms and off of her so that her bra fell to the floor, and then covered his hands with her own, kneading her breasts with him, her head falling back as she gave into the desire to be touched again and moaned at how good it was, her breasts extra sensitive but in an entirely wonderful way at present.

After all, he'd take off his own damn shirt when he realized that was the best way to get her hands back on him. And if he took _too _long, well, she knew how to move things along without saying anything at all, shirt or no shirt.

He swallowed hard at the way she joined him in squeezing her breasts before eagerly plucking at her own nipples, her pelvis rocking against the empty space that yet separated them as she moaned, and then moved her backwards until she was up against a wall, wasting no time in pressing himself against her, a thigh between hers so that she had something to buck up against. Cuddy instantly brought one leg up higher and around his, rocking against his thigh invitingly then but continued massaging her chest with him, crying out and rocking more forcefully when he pinched her nipples hard.

And then she dropped one hand down between them, not to touch him as House hoped but to run a finger through her folds, teasing herself. House groaned, watching her finger at play and then thrusting against her belly in turn. Smiling, she watched from half-lidded eyes as she brought her hand up, House grunting in response, his focus 100% upon her wet finger. Rather than taste herself, which she knew he expected, she offered him her finger and then moaned when he immediately sucked it in his mouth to taste, his tongue twining around it, the heat of his mouth making her inner muscles clench.

Within ten seconds he'd released her, shoved his dress shirt off and yanked his t-shirt over his head. Pleased, she wrapped her arms around his neck while his t-shirt was still falling to the floor a short distance away, and pressed her chest against his as she wrapped a leg back around his thigh, having been dislodged when he stepped back.

She sucked in a breath when he immediately hefted her up higher against him.

"House!" Cuddy scolded, though she licked her lips with anticipation too since they were now better aligned, should he opt to push his way inside her.

"What?" he replied with a smirk, holding her against him with one hand while he reached to wrap her other thigh around him with the other hand.

"Don't you dare drop me," she warned, choosing to indicate concern for her own wellbeing rather than his.

"I won't," he promised, one corner of his mouth raising as he turned with her then, Cuddy pressing in against him but trying not to shift her weight too much as he limped carefully out of the entryway, stepping over their discarded clothing before continuing onward, not detouring as they passed the kitchen entrance.

She groaned when they entered the living area. "House, where are we going? All the windows are open," she protested.

He smirked but pursed his mouth as he considered things. Then he circled around the bar counter and into the kitchen with her, practically back where they started, the hallway off to their left, before he set her on the kitchen counter.

She laughed disbelievingly. "House, this is hardly any better," she murmured, glancing behind her to look again at the wall of windows across the room.

"The bar counter will block us out," he mumbled dismissively. "For the most part," he added when she quirked an eyebrow at him in argument.

But she supposed it was better than the outside of their suite door and… it really wasn't _that _likely that anyone would be able to see them, certainly not without putting a great deal of effort into it, so she quickly relented, scooting to align herself with the edge of the countertop as she braced her feet on the cabinet doors below and brought her mouth to his, kissing him, the heat between them quickly back to a boil as their tongues met, one of Cuddy's arms twined around House's neck still while her other hand stroked over his chest, pinching his nipples as one of his hands found its way back to her breast and returned the favor before wandering its way down her belly.

He pushed her knees farther apart to create more space and she moaned into his mouth even as her one hand descended lower on his chest. But House stopped her before she got to her destination, disengaging from her mouth to tell her gruffly to lie back. She wasn't about to argue, even if she did huff out a breath at not getting to stroke him again.

The counter wasn't wide enough to lay down comfortably so she braced herself up on her forearms, her head almost pressed against the bar ledge. It possibly would have worked better if they'd taken up position at the far end of the counter, assuming her head didn't then drop into the sink that would have been a distance behind them then, but _nothing _would be hidden from any potential voyeurs outside, or _hardly _anything, anyway, House at least being completely visible in profile from where he'd be standing in that scenario. Cuddy wasn't sure she even cared about that anymore though as she just wanted him inside her ASAP.

But that wasn't House's intention. Not yet anyway. He took a step back and then his hands slid from her knees to the insides of her thighs as he stared at how she was displayed for him, licking his lips at how wet she was.

Cuddy moaned, rocking her hips against the counter unashamedly, and House groaned, his eyes reluctantly wandering to peruse her chest before meeting her eyes.

'I want you in me," she moaned, still rocking back and forth as she shook her hair back and off of her shoulders.

He smirked and then slid a hand further up her thigh before pushing a finger within her, Cuddy gasping at having something once again to rock against.

"Like this?" he asked with an eyebrow raised as he pushed in and out rather lazily.

"_House,"_ she moaned. "No. Come on. I need more."

But she kept rocking against his finger, breathing harder, her eyes leaving his to watch his finger enter and leave her in turn as sweat began to trickle down the small of her back.

He added another finger and her breathing stuttered but her hips never faltered.

"Is this good?" he inquired.

"You know what I want," she managed to say when she could force the words out, tearing her eyes from between them to meet his again.

"How about this?" he proffered, stretching her as he added yet another finger, causing her to cry out, her motion ceasing completely for a second before it sped up drastically, her control slipping.

"O-Okay," she accepted, it not being what she wanted but _enough _to satisfy her if she could just have an orgasm at last.

His thumb swiped over her once and then twice and she struggled to not thrash as she cried out, her hands clenching.

He was enjoying himself, immensely, and his smirk only grew when he abruptly removed his fingers from her, placing them in his mouth, groaning at how good she tasted.

Cuddy wanted to hit him for denying her the orgasm she'd been so close to. _"House, please," _she found herself crying out in protest instead, it being a little hard to be mad at him just now with the way he was sampling her taste with undeniable enjoyment, his eyes a dark sapphire blue.

"You need a pillow," he decided a minute later after removing his now clean fingers from his mouth, scrutinizing her, enjoying the chance to torment her as that damn dinner jacket he'd been forced to wear came to mind.

"What? No!" she negated, not caring if she banged her head against something so long as she was allowed to orgasm promptly.

But House was already limping away and she groaned her frustration even while watching him stride away from her, his naked backside thoroughly tantalizing. Thirty seconds later he was back with a decorative couch cushion and she rubbed a hand over her face in angst but allowed him to push it in behind her to protect her head if she did thrash about.

"Maybe I should have laid you down on the padded bar stools," he mused then, driving her crazy by taking a step back so that he was just out of her reach. "Considering the puddle you've already made on the counter, we'd probably need to pay to have the cushions dry-cleaned, but at least you'd be more comfortable."

"House," Cuddy began seriously. "I swear if you don't shut up and get over here, _now, _I'll finish _myself_ off without you."

He smirked but immediately moved forward. "Oh, I'm going to finish you off," he informed her seriously.

She moistened her lips, her eyes zeroing in on his anatomy, but House mumbled, "And lucky for you, one taste wasn't enough."

She didn't even have time to state that hadn't been where she was going before his head was between her thighs, Cuddy gasping as her head fell back into the pillow behind her at the sensation of his stubble scraping against her sensitive flesh. And then she was bucking wildly against his face as his tongue dove repeatedly into her, his nose bumping at random intervals against her clit and she couldn't stop herself from grasping at her breast while her other hand wove into his hair, holding him to her. Not half a minute later she was seizing up, her orgasm washing over her and leaving her a damp, boneless mess, her breathing ragged at best.

House dislodged himself when her hand fell limply to the countertop and then pulled back to smirk down at her while wiping a hand over his face. Her eyes were closed as she fought to catch her breath and he ran a finger over the trickle of sweat slowly making its way down the valley between her breasts but she pushed his hand away, not bothering to open her eyes as she breathed out, "Just give me a sec."

His smirk grew.

Tempted to trace a finger around her clit regardless, he instead grasped himself and started stroking.

Cuddy's eyes flitted open to see what he was doing now that he wasn't touching her and she moaned before licking her lips at what she found. Somehow she found her way to sitting up, though it took her a couple tries to get upright.

"Come here," she instructed.

He smirked wider but asked with a raised eyebrow as he continued stroking himself, not moving from where he stood just out of her reach, "Are you sure you're not still too sensitive?"

Cuddy huffed but didn't care whether she was or not because watching him had her wanting him again, especially as she'd yet to have him inside her in this way. She shuffled to the edge of the counter, cringing at how sticky it was now before she reached her arms out for him. "House, kiss me," she urged in a murmur. "I need you to kiss me."

His mouth twitched but he finally made a move to close the gap between them and Cuddy wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her chest to his before she kissed him enthusiastically, House's hand reluctantly parting with his own flesh to wrap his hands around her waist instead. She moaned when her tongue ran over his lips, tasting herself on him before his mouth opened to allow her to probe within. They kissed hungrily for a minute but then Cuddy was impatient once more to feel him inside her, rather impressed by his own display of control, and one hand left his neck to find its way between them, grasping him and then pumping him before he bucked into her hand, groaning his enthusiasm as his tongue followed hers back into her mouth.

She wasted no time then, lining him up with her, guiding him within as she leaned back to improve the angle and make it easier until he was all the way within her, moaning at how good it was to have him inside her like this, stretching her walls with his girth. Then she hoped the cabinets were well-made because her feet flattened against them before she used them to help her rock into him as he pulled out and pushed back in, only one of her arms finding its way behind her to prop her up better, the other remaining where it was around his neck.

But now that he was within her, Cuddy's muscles pulsing and clenching him tightly in turn, House's finely honed control was slipping. He brought one hand down to the counter opposite her own and used it to drive himself into her harder. She gasped, her head falling back away from his and he mumbled while he had the chance, "I'm not going to be able to draw this out very long."

"It's okay," she whimpered back as she bit her lip, House driving into her again, struggling just to maintain eye contact with him as she raised her head again slightly.

He shook his head. "Touch yourself, Cuddy," he instructed, clarifying what he wanted of her.

She hesitated but he groaned as he pulled out most of the way and then slammed back in and her toes curled as she cried out.

"_Do it,"_ he commanded. "I've got you."

She swallowed hard but then brought her hand forward from behind them to slide it in between them, her index finger tracing circles around her clit, Cuddy moaning and thrusting against him all the more.

House groaned, unable to see what she was doing due to their angle but imagining it all the same, his orgasm building. He managed to hold off until she was literally trembling against him, her mouth finding its way to bite down hard on his shoulder as she pressed her breasts against his chest and then there was no holding him back as he pumped wildly in and out of her, Cuddy crying out and biting his shoulder again as her now hard nipples rubbed against his chest when her back arched.

She followed him over the cliff, the sensation of him flooding her with his sperm as he pulsed and spurted hotly within her, pushing her over. Somehow he managed to keep her upright thru their orgasms before she lowered herself down on the counter, House following to mouth her stomach as they strived to catch their breath, Cuddy running her fingers soothingly through his hair.

She laughed when he lifted his head to pout at her breasts, not having tasted them yet.

"If you give me a few minutes to recover and take me to bed, I can go _one _more round," she murmured. "But then I want a hot bath to soak in."

He smirked but countered, "How about a bath first and _then _another round?"

She sighed but smiled before saying, "As long as it's on a bed."

"Deal," he agreed before pressing his face back into her belly, Cuddy once more raking her nails against the nape of his neck as she smiled down at him with affection.

"_House,"_ she moaned warningly though when he licked her belly, tasting her sweat. "Not here and not yet."

"I'll be good," he promised, nuzzling her, pressing a final kiss to her belly before he contentedly lay his head against her, the fingers of one hand stroking soothingly up and down her side as they got up the energy to move from where they were at.

* * *

June 1st, 2012

House and Cuddy took advantage of several amenities the hotel had to offer, typically upon her insistence when she told him they just _had _to get out of bed now or they never would, though House voluntarily spent some time in the hotel's library all on his own while she visited the spa, perusing the shelves and flipping through pages of books that captured his interest. They also drove into Savannah, taking advantage of their rented wheels. They drove around the Historic District, visited Forsyth Park and toured Mickve Israel Temple upon Cuddy's request. House managed to talk her into walking around Bonaventure Cemetery, which didn't prove too difficult as she'd read "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil", her reluctance mainly stemming from this being their honeymoon and walking around a cemetery striking her as being slightly morbid, but as it did have a rich history and beautiful sculpture and architecture, she caved pretty quickly.

Of course Cuddy also insisted upon visiting places they'd been before while together over that one Spring Break so many years ago, to revisit the past, which House had sneered at but gone along with. It was when he drove up in front of the Chatham Country Jail that Cuddy returned the dirty look he'd given her earlier.

"_House,"_ she pronounced warily. _"What are we doing here?"_

"We're taking another stroll down memory lane," he jovially told her as he parked the car, shooting her a grin.

"We are _not _going inside," she stated firmly, her jaw tight.

"Don't you want to go visit your friends?" he asked her seriously. "It's been over a year since you saw them last. I'm sure they'd _really _like to see you."

She gasped and then slugged him, House immediately cracking up.

"That is _not _funny," she told him, her eyes narrowing as she scowled at him. "Come on. You've had your laugh. Now start the car and drive away."

"No," he replied, yet smiling but clearly serious. "I'm going in."

"You are not!" she declared adamantly, gaping at him. "You want to relive my humiliation at having you be forced to come down and get me out of jail, fine. But do it from the car. I am _not _going in there."

"You don't have to," House replied with a shrug.

"House, come on," she cajoled. "Don't do this."

"I was thinking we should make it a yearly thing," he continued solemnly. "We'll drive down with the girls every year and I'll show them where I sprung you from the joint. It'll make a great story. They'll love it!"

"_House," _Cuddy mumbled, narrowing her eyes at him. "You will _never _tell the girls that story. And besides," she added, her voice going soft as she pressed a hand to her flat stomach. "You don't know that this one is a girl."

"She is," he immediately informed her, his mouth quirking.

"How can you know that?" she asked him pointedly, tilting her head to stare at him, trying to ignore the fact that one of the deputies that had just walked out of the building over House's shoulder was one she recognized and never again wanted to run into.

"Just wait and see," he replied with a shrug, not having an explanation for why he believed that and which he could offer her.

"I think it's going to be a boy," she said then, looking down and rubbing her belly now.

He cringed at that thought but said nothing. Another girl he could handle. He'd gotten that down. But a boy… He didn't want to think about it. "Are you coming in with me?" he asked her then, his smile returning as he changed the subject.

She sighed heavily, eyeing him again. "How about I make you a deal?" she reluctantly offered. "I'll let you take a picture of us in front of that _awful_ place if you don't step one foot inside of it or force me to."

He smirked, weighing the offer and then nodded, thinking that was even better as it was evidence. She pouted and whined but climbed out of the car to have it over with, hoping no one would pass by and recognize her, bringing her to further mortification.

* * *

House stole a glance at Cuddy as she walked down historic River Street with him. They'd decided to come down for the fireworks as it was the first Friday of the month and he'd spent the last hour being dragged into one boutique after another until she'd decided she was good to go and they'd swung by the car to drop off her shopping bags. _But, _it _was_ part of the deal he had struck in order to pick where they went to eat so he couldn't exactly complain. Now Cuddy seemed content to just walk along with him, holding his hand, not saying much but smiling his way flirtatiously every few steps.

His mouth quirked up as he stole another peek of the soft pink summer dress she had on and how it flirted around her thighs as they walked, the bodice tight and clinging to her breasts, something Cuddy had wryly admitted was another confirmation of her pregnancy as it hadn't fit her quite so snugly there when she'd bought it the month before their honeymoon. She'd briefly entertained wearing something else after disclosing that information but House had negated that thought immediately, his hands lifting to caress her breasts with his thumbs as he insinuated himself between her thighs, which had then led to them leaving the hotel forty minutes later than they'd planned to.

He snorted, thinking with as much sex as they were having and as often as he took advantage of his freedom to touch her whenever he wanted, he shouldn't be as tempted as he was at the moment to reach for her again, caressing her smooth skin and maybe groping her ass, if he could get away with it. But she was killing him in what she was wearing and that was probably another reason he'd allowed himself to be dragged into boutiques rather than wait for her elsewhere. If she decided to try something on, he didn't want to miss an opportunity to sneak into the dressing room with her. Unfortunately, he hadn't had the opportunity. She'd mainly shopped for the girls. But that didn't mean he hadn't taken advantage of the presence of a clothing rack or two, to press against her or grope her when no one could see what he was doing, Cuddy biting her lip to stifle a moan when he had.

Cuddy laughed when he stumbled on the cobblestone street, his eyes having been locked on the swell of her ass rather than where he was going. She shook her head at him but was undeniably pleased with his attention, especially considering how much sex they'd already had this week, and would never complain about him still wanting to check her out considering that.

House tugged upon her hand five minutes later and she looked at him but followed without question as he led her through the crowd to a nearby square, surrounded by flowers in bloom. She bit her lip when she heard the band playing and realized there were people dancing to the music. But when he smirked back at her and led her out amongst those same people she returned his smirk with a soft smile all her own, placing her arms around his neck before leaning against his shoulder as he found an excuse to finally get his hands on her once more, swaying with her to the song the band was playing, both of them smiling as they recognized they'd rather unintentionally found themselves taking another stroll down memory lane, reliving a sweet moment of the past in once more dancing together on a street in Savannah.

* * *

"_**At last**_

_**My love has come along  
My lonely days are over  
And life is like a song**_

**_Oh yeah, yeah_**

**_At last  
The skies above are blue  
My heart was wrapped up in clover  
The night I looked at you_**

**_I found a dream that I could speak to_**  
**_A dream that I can call my own_**  
**_I found a thrill to press my cheek to_**  
**_A thrill that I have never known_**

**_Oh yeah, yeah_**  
**_You smile, you smile_**  
**_Oh and then the spell was cast_**  
**_And here we are in heaven_**  
**_For you are mine at last"_**

* * *

Song: "At Last" (Etta James)


	123. Bad Day

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(There's good news and bad news. :) The good news is that I ended up adding a chapter to the story rather than combine it with what was originally meant to be the epilogue. So you'll be gaining one more day of updates before we come to a close. And the bad news is, well, that you have to survive this angsty chapter first before we get to that chapter. :) Brace yourselves accordingly. Come on, the title alone should have been enough to warn you rough seas lie ahead. Though the beginning of the chapter is happily angst-free.)_

* * *

June 2nd, 2012

Cuddy laughed because they'd barely climbed out of the car and yet could already hear Rachel shouting their names as she ran for the door to the garage.

House rolled his eyes as he popped the trunk but his attention was otherwise on the door leading into the house, which flew open just then, Rachel hurriedly jumping down the steps before throwing herself into Cuddy's arms who had bent down to receive her.

He snorted but headed for them and rifled her hair before moving to scoop Evie up from out of Evelyn's arms when she made her own appearance in the doorway a second later.

"Mommy! You're home! We've missed you!" Rachel exclaimed in delight against her neck before wiggling in her embrace to press happy kisses to her mommy's cheek, practically bouncing with her enthusiasm in having them home, Evie babbling happily in the background as she called their names over and over.

"We've missed you too!" Cuddy murmured as she gave Rachel another squeeze, drawing her head back to press a kiss to Rachel's forehead before getting to her feet, her eyes meeting her mother's amused expression before she looked at House and Evie.

"Mama! Dada! Mama! Dada!" Evie chanted excitedly as House buzzed her neck with kisses, making her giggle and squirm before she reached her arms out to her mommy. "Up, up, up! Baby up!"

Cuddy laughed and placed her hand on Rachel's head who had yet to let go of her, walking with her extra appendage over to House to take Evie from him, freeing him to pick Rachel up when she finally released her mommy and jumped up and down beside him, her arms already up in indication that she wanted to hug him now.

House chuckled wryly but picked her up and Rachel grinned at him before rubbing his face with her hand. "We missed you too daddy!" she told him then, nodding in emphasis.

"You did?" he asked her with an eyebrow raised dubiously.

She nodded all the more and then exclaimed, "_SO much!"_

"How are you, mom? Where's dad?" Cuddy inquired, directing her gaze to her mother who had yet to say anything, allowing the girls their time to welcome their parents' home.

"I'm great," she answered with a smile. "The girls and I just finished cleaning up from dinner. Are you two hungry? Your father is in the living room, reading the Sunday paper I think. He went out earlier to pick one up anyway."

Cuddy glanced House's way to see if he was hungry but then replied, "We ate a late lunch at the airport so we'll probably wait another hour to eat. But thank you."

Evelyn nodded. "There's leftovers in the fridge when you do get hungry, though that's not your _only_ option as I did find some time this week to stock your fridge and freezer with ready to go homemade meals while the girls slept."

Cuddy pressed a grateful kiss to her cheek and then followed her into the house with Evie, House following along, figuring he'd come back for their stuff later. He paused to release Cookie Monster from his confinement, scratching him behind the ears after Rachel had slid down his body, taking his hand and swinging it with hers while she petted the dog too and giggled when he licked her hand. Then with Cookie Monster trailing them, they followed after everyone else in the direction of the living room, House listening to Cuddy answer her mother's questions about their honeymoon as they walked.

Cuddy stopped speaking when she reached the living room, hugging her dad when he set aside his paper and stood up to greet them.

"Welcome home, sweetie," he told her.

"Thanks dad," she replied with a smile.

Cuddy looked from her dad to her mom and then at House and he quirked an eyebrow, smirking before he nodded as if giving her permission.

She sucked in a breath before smiling wryly and saying, "So, we have some news."

_"You're pregnant!" _Evelyn breathed out before Cuddy could get any farther, gasping then in surprise at her own immediate guess before clapping a hand over her mouth, her eyes widening.

House snorted disbelievingly as Cuddy stared at her mother, taken aback.

_"Sorry,"_ Evelyn apologized with a cringe after dropping her hands. "I don't know where that came from. Wishful thinking I guess. Continue. You have news?"

Cuddy laughed, biting her lip to contain her smile, looking at her dad who was eyeing her, his mouth pursed, before she glanced at the girls and then at House before returning her eyes to her mother. "Actually… I am," she admitted, smiling softly as she awaited her mother's reaction, stealing a glance at her dad as well.

_"No!"_ Evelyn declared disbelievingly, taking a step back from her as she eyed her daughter with a look that clearly read, it's not nice to play with your mother. "No," she repeated with a headshake. "No."

Cuddy laughed as House shook his head, his expression wry. "I am," she repeated, glancing back and forth between her parents. "I'm pregnant. We're... going to have another baby."

"You're going to have another baby sister," House told Rachel when she looked up at him as if to ask what was going on.

"Or a brother," Cuddy interjected pointedly, momentarily narrowing her eyes at him.

And that was about when the news sank into Evelyn's head and she finally believed they weren't playing with her.

"I'm going to be a grandma again?" she murmured almost disbelievingly.

"Right around the end of December," House answered, bringing his eyes back to her.

And then she squealed and threw her arms around Cuddy, hugging her and pressing a kiss to her cheek before releasing her abruptly to reach for House, throwing her arms around him in turn.

"Congratulations," Richard finally got over his own surprise to state, an eyebrow raised before his mouth quirked and he chuckled at his daughter's expression before hugging her. "You didn't waste any time."

Cuddy huffed but then dryly replied, "You do know that I was pregnant _before _we…"

"Eeh," he interrupted, shaking his head as he held up a hand to stop her from continuing after releasing her. "Leave me to my delusions," he instructed, though he grinned at her.

She sighed and shook her head but said nothing more.

"What do you think of that Rachel?" Richard asked her afterwards, directing his attention at his granddaughter. "You're going to have another brother or sister."

"Today?" she asked curiously, almost hopeful even.

House snorted. "No," he explained wryly, drawing Rachel's attention back to him. "Not for a while yet. The baby is in mommy's tummy. She, _or he,_" he amended at Cuddy's look, "won't be big enough to come out until after Hanukkah and Christmas."

"What's his name?" Rachel asked next.

"We don't know yet," Cuddy told her, reaching out to smooth Rachel's hair back.

"We still need to come up with _her_ name," House inserted, Cuddy rolling her eyes at him but letting it go.

"You're going to be a big sister too," Cuddy told Evie then, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Mommy's going to have another baby. What do you think, Evie? Are you ready to be a big sister?"

"Baby," Evie repeated with a toothy grin, though she did not understand what was going on.

"That's right," Evelyn agreed, tucking a curl back so it wasn't in Evie's face. "Mommy's got a baby growing in her tummy."

"Tummy," Evie repeated, patting her own emphatically.

Everyone laughed.

"Wow. Such exciting news," Evelyn murmured then with a shake of her head, still trying to process it.

Cuddy smiled, looking at House before she bit her lip.

"I should go call my mom," he mumbled then.

Cuddy nodded her encouragement, laughing when he rolled his eyes and sighed heavily.

"She'll want to talk to you," he pointed out.

"I'll… stay close," she promised.

House left the room and took Cookie Monster with him to call his mom from the deck. Cuddy watched him go but then turned to direct her attention to her parents as they asked about their time in Georgia, Rachel interrupting to ask if she had a present for her but readily agreeing to wait until daddy was off the phone with grandma House to receive it.

* * *

July 27th, 2012

Cuddy sat at her desk trying to tackle the stack of paperwork in front of her but was finding it impossible as she was too focused on her frustration to be productive. House had been _beyond_ annoying all day long. She wasn't sure where it had come from. No. That wasn't quite true. She knew where it came from. She knew exactly where it came from. _Was coming from_. She just… If she got caught up in thinking about it, she'd get nothing done. And she _had _to get stuff done or she'd never get out of here. _That_ would only piss House off more.

The problem was… complicated. Really, it had started two weeks ago when she'd found herself with a yeast infection. House had immediately blamed it on her preference for tight clothing but she was almost certain it was due to the hormonal imbalance she was going through with this pregnancy, especially as she was now in her second trimester. He countered, probably just for the sake of arguing, that she hadn't had any yeast infections during her pregnancy with Evie so there was no way she could know for sure that it was due to her pregnancy, even if it was a very common happenstance amongst pregnant women. Cuddy had then _wanted _to argue that her wardrobe was looser than ever to accommodate her now slowly expanding belly, _but_ she'd opted instead to let him think what he wanted, just rolling her eyes at his declaration because she was already anticipating they'd both be frustrated enough without arguing about _where_ the yeast infection had sprung from and whether she could reasonably be held at fault for it or not, since whether or not they _could, _she _wouldn't _be willing to have sex with him until after the required days for using the treatment were fulfilled, hence why House had wanted to argue about the yeast infection's origin in the first place. As she was pregnant, her doctor had of course chosen the safe route which meant she had a choice between a cream or suppositories rather than an oral treatment. So _that_ was the beginning of this drought they'd been in, neither one of them happy about it.

_Then _she'd had a major donor die and while he'd earmarked a considerable amount of money to be given to the hospital in such an event, there were now apparently problems with his estate, including some relation of his contesting the will's validity, which, until resolved, meant she had a couple major programs facing cutbacks because his monthly donations were no longer coming in either. And the problem wasn't that donations hadn't been up of late; the problem was that most of those donors had earmarked their donations for specific departments, the main one appearing time after time being Diagnostics, which of course made House smug and forced her to try and tighten the reins on just what House thought he could get away with because of it. That wasn't to say she wasn't grateful. She was _really _grateful. It just meant she had to be careful about _expressing _that gratitude, especially if House was in the vicinity.

So… budget cuts. Really, her goal was to completely avoid making them. But she only had until Monday to pull that off before she'd be stuck in meetings requiring her to make concessions. That meant that she'd unfortunately been stuck here at the office calling around, trying to dredge up said donations, along with new donors. Since most calls had to be made during business hours in order to get in touch with whoever she was currently trying to reach, she hadn't been kept _after hours_ because of _that_, but all the same, she had been stuck here, trying to complete the work she wasn't able to do because she was always on the phone with said potential donors.

House had been… incredibly good about everything. She couldn't deny that and to an extent it quelled her irritation. Frankly, she wished she could deny it, even while not wishing that if it meant he'd have been his usual self, _or worse_. But the truth was that House had kept his shenanigans to a minimum since she'd found herself in this mess, mainly creating only minor and mostly inconsequential problems for her… and only when he really missed her, which made her feel all the worse about getting after him. And she knew that was the case; she knew that was what motivated him to act out when she was already stressed. Because while he wouldn't ever admit that was the reason, the way he always managed to be in some obscure location when she came to yell at him, immediately taking her calls rather than ignoring them, even offering up his whereabouts without argument when she demanded to know where he was, spoke for itself. And then there was the fact that he was always alone when she did come to him, clearly waiting for her when she shoved open the door to glare his way, not to mention how House proved unable to keep his hands to himself then even if she was yelling at him, oftentimes pulling her to him after she was through yelling just to nuzzle her with affection and press soft, part appeasing, part "I just want an excuse to do this" kisses to her mouth, not even bothering to defend himself for whatever it was he had done, though he didn't exactly apologize either.

And with the girls too, he'd been _very _thoughtful. On the days that she didn't or wasn't physically able to sacrifice sleep to get up early and go in well before she had to just to play catch up so she could go home at a decent hour to be with the girls before bedtime rolled around, House had made a point to have her mother drive them over to the hospital so that he could bring them in to spend time with her in her office before he took them home, knowing she would be staying late regardless and therein not making it home before the girls were both in bed. He'd willingly hung around PPTH longer than he had to then, that being amazing in itself, so that she could take a break for an hour or two and be with him and the girls, ordering dinner for them so the four of them could eat together and… probably so that he'd know she had a decent meal, not that he'd say so and certainly not because this baby was really allowing her to skip meals anyway, although she had often found herself eating on the run in the past week.

No, reality was that he was being _way _more supportive than she knew she deserved him to be right now. House would have every right if he were to get angry and tell her that her priorities were out of order and she needed to put their family first. He _should _just demand she settle on another assistant rather than waver in her indecision at hiring one. But… they both knew this was temporary, _at least, until the next thing came up to throw her world into upheaval,_ and moreover, that she was only managing to hang in there and accept this situation _because _he'd made concessions to give her time with the girls. It also helped that she'd refused to spend more than three hours in the office on Saturday morning, otherwise dedicating the entire weekend to family time. Without these understandings… she was pretty certain she'd have resigned by now from one of her positions or more probably hired help as House was urging her to, even if finding someone worth hiring would take far longer than she currently had time for, because it was killing her to find the girls asleep and in bed already when she finally came in the door. And on the nights when even House wasn't able to keep his eyes open to await her, well, she'd blamed the pregnancy hormones when she had woke him up two nights ago with her tears but it was mainly just that she really… missed him and missed _connecting with him_, missed sex, missed showers together, missed preparing dinner with him swiping food from under her arm, missed washing dishes while he dried, missed their banter and conversation and stolen kisses… Hell, she even missed watching his stupid soap opera with him. But when she had woken him, House had just groggily mumbled to her that she was overly tired and proceeded to drag her into his arms, rubbing her back and tracing circles on her hip in comfort until she fell asleep on his chest, thoroughly exhausted, which she couldn't deny being the case even if she knew it was so much more than the excuse he gave her.

So there was the sex thing and the work thing and yet up until today, he'd been so good about it all. She knew he was frustrated. She knew it was mostly a _sexual _frustration. And it wasn't to say that she hadn't done her best to ease that frustration on numerous occasions, nor that she'd been unsuccessful in her attempts for she had not had any trouble in… helping him out and she certainly hadn't lacked the desire to, but… While she could probably do a survey at the hospital asking people what kind of lover House would be and end up with 99% quickly writing him down as a selfish one, that… couldn't be farther from the truth. Reality was that House didn't like being the only one to walk away satisfied when it came to their sex life. He'd griped more than a few times that if he wanted that he'd hire someone, which was completely ridiculous because they both knew he'd do no such thing, _regardless _of whether she'd kill him if he did. He just would never ever do that now. For him, that was a part of the past that was over and done with and he'd thank you to never mention it again. No, House… House _loved _being able to send her soaring over the edge, even if he wasn't along for the ride. And it wasn't because it meant he could gloat about it, though yes, he often did, or that he wanted to be seen as a stud, though he certainly was and yes, would refer to himself that way. But it was just that House _genuinely _enjoyed her pleasure. He enjoyed being able to offer that to her, to be the cause of her ecstasy, watch her experience it, and yeah, felt good about himself for knowing her as he did, giving her what he knew she needed or wanted, and for being the reason why she was so carefree and inclined to just wrap herself around him afterwards.

So as much as she knew he wanted to have sex with her, Cuddy didn't for a second question the fact that what he really wanted was to be there on the edge of the cliff with her, going over at the same time she did. Knowing _that,_ she honestly couldn't wait to go home tonight because she had _every intention _of finally being able to bring their drought to an end, her yeast infection now cleared up and wholly devoted to her desire to go home at a decent hour tonight.

But… she hadn't told him that was her plan. And maybe that had been a mistake but they technically could have had sex for several days now. What had stopped her was House being asleep, her being physically drained _or _her being too stressed out to believe she'd truly enjoy it, as hard as that was to imagine being the case. And yet that was how she felt, that was what worried her, on top of the slim possibility that always existed that she might get called in or be forced to work late again tonight regardless of her intentions and… she just needed their next attempt to be a successful one since her emotions were running high right now and she already felt guilty enough for the last couple weeks. She… needed their sex to be mind-blowing so they'd _both _relieve the stress that had built up in them from abstaining. She also needed that connection with him. And so she hadn't risked telling him because if something happened to make it not happen tonight, then they'd _both _be miserable about it.

But _now, today,_ all House's efforts to be good had come to an end, following his good attitude right out the window. And she really didn't blame him. Well, not _exactly_. But he'd done not one but _three _tests he hadn't received clearance to do first thing this morning, which had resulted in what they'd never agree on as being a completely unnecessary line of seizures for his patient before House's team managed to address _that_ issue and _before_ Cuddy found out what he was up to, shortly separating him from the patient, placing a couple guards at the door to the patient's room just to be sure he'd give the poor man a chance to recover before continuing treatment while sentencing House to clinic duty, which yes, had been a terrible decision since she'd promised him in returning he wouldn't have to _do_ clinic duty, only being required to take patients should one be found with symptoms worthy of his attention. He'd next taken out his frustration on a clinic patient, which meant he'd had to go to HR because a complaint had been filed, and even before that he'd made another patient in the clinic cry, furthering Cuddy's state of aggravation.

And then as if things weren't bad enough, Dr. Neilson, a doctor she'd brought on while House was at Riverside East and who, as it turned out, could not stand House at all, had run into him, heckled him and promptly ticked him off. Admittedly in Cuddy's opinion because the guy was deep down inside even more an ass than House, albeit somehow managing to typically mask that fact while House had once worn his ass-hood as a badge and even now from time to time reinforced that general conception in others eyes, _AND_ their "encounter" had culminated in a pissing contest between the two of them in the middle of the waiting room near where House's patient was being kept from him, the two grown men acting like squabbling children who were both long overdue for a nap, with plenty of witnesses there for the ride.

Cuddy could only conclude that House had been there specifically to seek retaliation on Dr. Neilson but… she didn't _want _to track him down to find out. What she knew, she'd heard secondhand. And while she knew the two had been separated, she couldn't deny speaking with Dr. Neilson would be far easier than speaking to House because… she didn't like the guy much if at all, though she'd thought him a great hire when she'd originally brought him on. And yet she put it off because she couldn't approach one without approaching the other. Plus there was the fact that House was now her husband so she'd undoubtedly be questioned regarding whether she was playing favorites, should she confront Dr. Neilson first.

_Her _problem then, why she _didn't _want to be thinking about all this but nevertheless was while not making any progress on the pile before her at all, had to do with the reality that ever since House had pushed limits this morning, instead of being pissed to the point of _not _wanting to have sex with him, she'd found herself pissed anddoing all she could to _not _think about having sex with him. Because it had seriously ended up being her first inclination. She'd _honestly_ considered hauling him into a room, climbing up on the first thing she could find that would take her weight and then removing her underwear for him. The problem with that though, _besides_ it being against her personal rule that they wouldn't have sex in the hospital, was that it would be as much for him as for _herself_, which made it all the more appealing, truthfully, since she wanted to satisfy his needs as much as she did her own, but hard to swallow as it would be like rewarding him for acting out this way and… how could she do that?

But now she was constantly hearing reports of his continued _misbehavior, _which only stoked the fire burning within her belly all the more and furthered her own problematic thinking as it ended with her mind being in the gutter and nothing at all getting accomplished in the meantime _anyway._

Sighing with dread Cuddy pushed her chair back all the same, knowing she couldn't put this off any longer. Unfortunately, she also knew she had to deal with House before she could deal with Dr. Neilson, if not for her previously numbered reasoning then simply because House's misbehavior had started long before Dr. Neilson became involved. That meant she had some quick thinking to do in order to find a way to _not _drag him into a utility closet somewhere and make everything all the worse by getting caught screwing him senseless on hospital grounds, and being that it wasn't even 1 p.m. yet, the likelihood of being caught in the act seemed not just likely but _highly probable_.

Cuddy frowned, shaking her head when she approached the Diagnostics department five minutes later to find Wilson and House arguing inside the conference room while Chase watched in interest from the table, probably grateful that this was his last day on House's service, the rest of House's team absent at present. She whined in considering that wherever they were, House had probably sent them off only to get into more trouble than he was already in with her.

She didn't even have time to open the door and enter before Wilson said something that made it clear he was already trying to rein House in and keep him from further pressing his luck, while House clearly intended to do _whatever it took_ to get to his patient and get the case solved, undoubtedly needing _something _to direct his intensity towards.

Pulling the door open she wasted no time stating, "You are going to leave that patient alone for the rest of the day, so help me House. I don't care what you do in the meantime. I don't even care if you go home. But you're going to leave that patient alone. You can go over his case or stare at him through the windows or spend the rest of the afternoon inconveniencing and interviewing all his family members, for all I care, but you will not go through that door. If I even hear you're _thinking _of entering his room, I'll… tranquilize you myself to neutralize the threat to his wellbeing. He needs to recover from what you've already done to him today. _Leave him alone,_" she intoned forcefully, glaring at him.

"_Fine,_" House muttered tersely, his tone telling her it was anything but fine.

"I mean it," she reinforced sharply.

House huffed but turned away from her, going to grab the file, perusing it but carelessly flipping pages.

"I don't know how you put up with him when he's like this," Wilson wryly mumbled then, everyone in the room knowing he didn't mean that but was frustrated enough with having to feel like he was keeping his best friend on a leash to say so.

"The sex must be really good," Chase interjected helpfully with a half-smile, more than willing to be the one to relieve his boss's tension, along with everyone else's as this day hadn't exactly gone down as he'd expected it to either.

House shot a raised eyebrow in Chase's direction and tossed the file his way but then his eyes went to Cuddy even as he smiled lopsidedly and she rolled her eyes before looking away, not about to get dragged into this.

"Yeah because House is really hung," Wilson muttered dismissively in irritation.

"How do you know?" Chase asked immediately, dropping the file back onto the desk while giving Wilson a probing look, enjoying the opportunity to pick on Wilson now.

Wilson was clearly not expecting this conversation to have continued, nor to have that question get shot his way, and he was clearly and quite visibly uncomfortable as red began to streak up his neck. "I don't," he quickly negated, shaking his head, his eyes wide.

But now House had a new distraction presenting itself and he too gave Wilson a skeptical look and said, "No, I want to know how you know too. Wilson you perv, have you been checking me out when I've been in the bathroom using the urinal?"

Wilson had a finger in his collar and Cuddy could see this wasn't going to end well for him, even while she had no doubt that the likeliness of him not knowing what he had to know after all the medical procedures and recoveries he'd seen his friend through, was slim to none. But pointing that out would get her nowhere, because House was in the mood to antagonize. That meant she had to steal his thunder. She just wasn't sure she could do it. And yet a second later she surprised herself by making the attempt, hoping his attention would then settle on her and in a _good, self-gratifying _way.

Turning to Chase, she shook her head and interrupted the situation to interject, "But he's not. Hung that is." Using her thumb and forefinger as an indicator of size, she frowned thoughtfully as if she had to think about it to make sure she had it just right before she created a distance of two inches and then turned her hand, the gap closing to an inch width before she lowered her hand altogether.

Chase's chin dropped and then he was roaring with laughter while Wilson's mouth pursed in shock before easing into amusement, something Cuddy hadn't expected of him but was relieved to see. But _House_ was not entertained at all. Cuddy looked at him, biting back a smile as her hand fell to her side, shrugging helplessly then before apologetically saying, "Sorry."

"Take it back," House bit out, glaring at her.

"But that would be lying," she calmly replied, suddenly finding his irritation with her to be a sweet victory after how irritated he'd made her with him over the course of the first half of the day.

Turning back to Chase though, she took some of the bite out of what she'd said by saying, "I put up with him being a jerk because I've found his mouth to be quite… talented at _other_ things."

And as Chase stared at her wide-eyed, shocked to have his boss's boss say even _that, _suggesting…; and as Wilson cringed, clearly having received too much information, Cuddy turned proudly to make her exit, not bothering to look at House, quite pleased with herself, hoping he'd shortly follow her.

But she wasn't halfway to the door when Wilson asked warily, "What are you doing?"

Cuddy faltered but quickly realized he wasn't talking to her when the reflection in the glass showed House fumbling in his pocket before pulling out his phone and then she wasn't sure why but she stopped completely, suddenly second-guessing what she'd done as this was clearly not over and yet not knowing just what House had up his sleeve, distrusting him too much to leave the room and allow him to do whatever he was planning to, _without _her being present to kill him if that was what the situation called for.

She turned around to look at him doubtfully as he scrolled through menus and when he found whatever he was looking for, he smugly and quite defiantly met her gaze just as he hit a button.

Cuddy froze, not even breathing as she waited anxiously for just what he was up to. But she didn't have long to wait as a long, drawn-out moan filled the air, followed by "Oooh House, I need you. Please. _Right now_."

House's eyes were focused on hers, daring her to say something, and Wilson and Chase's eyes flew to look at her as well, one waiting for her reaction and the other worrying his best friend's life was about to come to an end.

Cuddy would have liked to deny that was her but there was no way she could believably do so. "Stop," she bit out, narrowing her eyes at him.

But the corner of House's mouth rose as he shook his head. "Take back what you said," he retorted evenly.

But as another moan tore from his phone followed by a very whiny _"please",_ Cuddy had a hard time swallowing, let alone comprehending what she was supposed to take back, since his form of contradicting her descriptions completely obliterated what she'd said from her memory.

She took some quick steps towards him but he easily moved around the edge of the table before she could get anywhere near him so that even as close as they might be at any given moment, she still couldn't get to him as quickly as she wanted to. And stretching the phone up over his head for extra measure, House made sure that it was safely out of her reach no matter how close she eventually got to him.

"House," she bit out warningly, nevertheless weighing her options as to which way to pursue him around the table, not exactly counting on him just conceding and bringing this to an end because she told him to.

"_Oooh._ Yeah. Please. _Aah._ House… _Oooh._ _So good. God, you're so…"_ and then there was a sharp intake of breath that even the phone managed to pick up, accompanied by a groan that was obviously House's, before her high-pitched voice completed, _"big,"_ in a broken moan, each word leaving her mouth drawn out and seemingly taking ages to articulate as it was.

The image flashed then before her eyes of him plunging into her from behind where he stood at the side of the bed, her on the bed before him on her hands and knees, one of his hands clutching her hip while the other found its way around her and between her legs, evoking another moan, and she instantly knew what this was soundtrack to, realizing this was from what she'd quite stupidly, _obviously,_ allowed him to film _just for their use _even as her voice keened from the speaker of his phone as she rocked back against him, her voice desperately urging, _"Again,"_ in the neediest voice she'd ever heard and had never expected anyone else but the two of them to hear, let alone Wilson and Chase.

"Guess you don't have to take it back," House proudly declared from where he stood on the other side of the table, looking smug all around. "There's no denying the evidence that my size is more than satisfactory. You just proved that…"

"Stop it right now," she angrily interrupted, her eyes flashing fire as she knew from watching the video with him several times since they'd filmed it for… _entertainment purposes_, if not from the occasion itself, what was about to come, her moans only increasing in frequency and growing in volume, along with her vulgarity in her reactions to what he was doing to her and how great it felt, the bed frame even creaking a couple times as their pace increased and House added his share of grunts and moans of encouragement as one hand on her hip added speed to her own returned thrusts backwards.

And rather than push her further or tell her to say please, which she half expected him to do now that he'd gone _this_ far, House hit a button on his phone before calmly returning it to his pocket, honestly not wanting to have anyone but him know what Cuddy sounded like when she was _really _in the throes of passion and going over the edge.

Determined to bring the focus back on himself now, House reached down to his pants with his other hand, stopping just as his fingers lighted upon his zipper to shoot a probing look beyond Cuddy to Wilson and then Chase where he still sat at the end of the table, both of whom were staring at him in alarm, trying _not _to stare at the proof before them that House had undeniably become aroused by the sounds coming from his phone. Wilson looked stupid enough with his fingers in his ears as if to block out the sounds of what he'd just been exposed to, but the expression on his face made him look even more ridiculous.

"Do either of you need further proof? Any doubts I need to put to rest?" he asked pointedly, an eyebrow quirking.

Chase quickly shook his head, pushing his chair back to make his escape, ending up being second in line as Wilson didn't even bother responding, one hand up to ward House off, his face practically as red as a tomato as he shoved the door open and hightailed it to the safety of his office, hoping he'd be able to erase those sounds from his memory if he tried hard enough.

When they were both gone House turned to look at an absolutely furious Cuddy, shaking with her anger, and without giving her time to snap, informed her evenly, "You _never _belittle the size of your man in front of his friends. Not even in jest."

And Cuddy hissed in response, her hands fisting even as her jaw clenched, before she turned and stormed out the door, too angry with him to not indicate that but also not wanting to say something she'd later regret.

For a split second she felt bad for Dr. Neilson. He was about to get a visit from someone more than ready for a fight. And while he deserved a portion of her frustration, the wrath she was feeling at present far surpassed what he could be credited for generating. She hoped he kept his mouth shut and just let her do the talking. Otherwise…

* * *

House watched Cuddy go, sighing when she was out of sight, his eyes shutting in resignation as he couldn't help but acknowledge to himself she was undoubtedly going to want more than a pound of flesh in payment for this. It had been a horribly ill-conceived idea, that of putting that sound clip on his phone, but… he'd _planned_ to call her cellphone and when it went to voicemail, record it from his cellphone as a form of… foreplay. It was meant to be seduction, not…

Well, come on, she really had asked for it though, hadn't she? Did she really expect him to just let that go? _Who would?!_

But… No, the aftermath of this latest act of ass-hood would be ugly. He'd be lucky if she even slept in the same bed with him, let alone allow him to touch her before a full month had passed. And _argh_, was he desperate to touch her! He hated to think how long it would be now before they… And she'd most definitely want that video destroyed. She'd probably want to destroy it _herself_. That was a major setback, not to mention how she'd never again agree to him bringing the camcorder into the bedroom with them.

House heaved out a breath, resigning himself to just handing the video over to her without a fight and maybe even before she demanded to have it, just to perhaps soothe the path for reconciliation that much faster. Man, he really was an ass. But… it wasn't like she didn't know that. And she _had _provoked him. How had she really expected him to take it? Not lying down, that's for sure. Cuddy wasn't _dumb_.

Picking the patient's file back up from where Chase had dropped it on the table, he thumbed through it, thinking he better show her he could actually do his job while respecting her rules before she came home tonight and tossed in his face how he'd undoubtedly in her eyes, trashed her reputation and planted things in her employees minds that were supposed to be private.

But… it had only been Wilson and Chase present anyway, right? So…

House groaned then, knowing he was going to have to stop defending what he did before she came home tonight. Otherwise… this would only get worse. And frankly, it was killing him to be away from her _and _her body, as it was.

* * *

Cuddy looked at her computer to check the time on the screen, groaning when she saw it was already 9:30. She really _hadn't _meant to stay late. But then House had entered the spotlight, as if he hadn't already been there, and with her thoughts revolving around him at lightning speed now, she'd stayed late because it would be best if the girls _were _in bed when she made it home. And while she hadn't accomplished as much as she would have liked to after her bitter interaction with Dr. Neilson, staying as long as she had, had allowed her to tackle a few more items off her to-do list, rendering coming in this weekend unnecessary, as far as she was concerned.

Cuddy pushed her chair back to get to her feet after shutting down her computer, gathering her things before turning lights out on her way to the door. She hated that it was true but reality was that those sounds, coming from House's cellphone, had been echoing in her mind ever since his phone had fallen silent, flashes of the video they made which she'd only agreed to because it WAS his birthday, playing out before her eyes whenever she allowed them to shut. And as pissed off as she was, a part of Cuddy recognized she had kind of baited him, but what bothered her more was… just how much she had wanted him since, her desire for him only climbing as time ticked away. She really hoped she could blame that on her pregnancy and their lengthy forced abstinence.

Locking her office door behind her she adjusted her purse on her shoulder before saying goodnight to the janitor who was currently cleaning the clinic floor, then flipping through her keys to find the one for her car before heading out for the night.

* * *

House looked up with a contained, rather hesitant smile of welcome as the door to the garage opened and Cuddy's heels tapped their way across the floor and towards him, bringing her into view when she entered the kitchen from the back hallway.

He didn't say anything, just staring at her as he waited for her to lose it, but Cuddy just met his gaze and calmly asked, "Are the girls sleeping?"

House nodded then, surprised that she seemed so in control at present, and he watched, eyes widening, as she nodded curtly before her hands went to her skirt, unzipping it and kicking it aside a second later before she walked around him and in the direction of their bedroom, her barely covered ass swaying sexily, Cuddy already working on the buttons on her shirt, throwing it onto the dining room table before she disappeared from his view, her heels still clacking away.

House watched her go until she was out of sight, blinking in surprise, having been fairly certain he'd have to work to get her to share his bed tonight, let alone have sex with him, and yet… Well, if Cuddy was visibly eager to remove her clothes, so rushed she didn't even care to hang them up, then… that told him sex was _exactly _what the good Dr. Cuddy had in mind. Or was that the _bad _Dr. Cuddy?

House didn't allow himself to waste any more time on pointless debating. She wanted him. And from the looks of things, a lot. Either that or she was going to punish him by making him watch, not allowing him to touch, which would certainly be a punishment, but he'd endure it all the same because it still had its upsides.

He grinned then before pushing away from the counter, rushing to follow her, already tugging his t-shirt over his head, throwing it to join hers, seconds before he happened upon her bra at his feet in the hallway, his hand immediately reaching to unzip his pants so as to save them time. But House barely got inside the door before Cuddy seemingly came from nowhere and pushed him back against the inside of the door, effectively closing it behind him before her hands were shoving his pants and boxers down his legs to make him as naked as she already was.

House's head had banged against the door but he ignored the dull pain it had generated, too focused on tracing his eyes along Cuddy's curves before they closed involuntarily as her hand met his flesh, evoking a groan as she wasted no time pumping him.

House managed to open his eyes and then a smug grin found its way onto his lips as he perhaps unwisely quipped, "Looks like someone other than me spent the whole day thinking about just how well-equipped I really am."

"Shut up," Cuddy huffed, not giving him another option as she used the additional height her heels were still offering her to bring her mouth to his, demanding entrance the next second as she bit down on his lip before adding enticingly, "and just _fuck me_, House."

He immediately opened his mouth to her, his tongue welcoming her in as he groaned, following her like a lamb to the slaughter when she released her hold on him to bring her hands up under his arms, dragging him with her in the direction of the bed, only kicking her heels off when the back of her knees were up against the mattress before she tugged him towards her and then pushed him into a sitting position on the bed beside her, climbing on it as well, kneeling beside him as she brought her mouth crashing back into his, one hand wrapping around him once more, the nails of her other hand biting into his back.

And it was insane and sexy and forceful and generally nothing he would ever complain about because there was something about it that made him all the hungrier for her. Yet… House wasn't so sure that she wasn't still very angry with him. And while he didn't want to think of _before,_ he _really_ didn't, part of him now was doing exactly that as her slight belly bumped against his side while the rest of him tried to stay with her in the moment and enjoy her rough treatment because he knew it was sexy – that SHE was – that her irritation and bossiness and absolute need for him was!

But then Cuddy raked her nails along his back before her hand pumped him with more force than necessary and… it wasn't painful per se but now it was too closely connected to what that traitorous part of him was thinking of and in a hairbreadth of time the heat of the moment washed away, leaving him feeling cold even while Cuddy kept going unaware of how he's stopped participating, her tongue and teeth leaving his mouth to work the side of his neck even as she moaned, needing so much more from him than what she was receiving at present.

"Stop!" House gruffly told her then, breathing hard, surprising her completely as he pushed her away from him and swatted her hand off of him as well.

Cuddy sucked a breath in as she sat back on her thighs, trying to clear her head and focus on his face, her expression revealing traces of alarm when he moved farther away from her without looking at her, throwing his legs back over the side of the bed before leaning down to grab his boxers where they'd fallen when she'd tossed them in yanking them off him. She watched in silence as he shoved his legs back into them, standing up to pull them on all the way and she swallowed hard, her heart still racing wildly.

But her eyes went to the front of his boxers on the way to checking his thigh as if for answers, noting in the time it had taken him to remove her hand from him and get to his feet, he'd also lost the erection he'd already responded to her with.

"Is your leg bothering you?" she was finally able to ask in concern, her mind still foggy, biting her lip worriedly while considering that she might have hurt him by accident. But he _had _placed his weight on it to pull his boxers back on and he wasn't rubbing it, well, he was but not like he did when it was really bothering him, more absentmindedly in distraction, and so her eyes returned to what she could see of his face, which wasn't much as he still wouldn't look at her.

"It's fine," he muttered quickly, apparently irritated with her question.

Cuddy frowned, not understanding. The only other logical explanation for the sudden halt to what they'd been doing was… But…

And then as if to confirm her new concerns, House mumbled, "You're too angry. You're being too rough."

Cuddy's breath caught in her throat and she felt very much like she'd been slapped. She didn't want to understand what he was accusing her of but she _did _understand, even if she didn't agree with him. Hesitantly she finally managed to voice, "But I'm not angry House. And I wasn't being... rough. Not really anyway. We've… we've been a lot rougher with each other than I was just being and…"

She didn't need to see his face to know by his body language as he straightened, shaking his head and exhaling heavily, that he was also rolling his eyes.

Lowering herself to the bed from where she'd been perched on her knees, she scooted back and farther away from him, crossing her arms over her bare chest, wanting to cry and trying hard not to so as to not make this even more about her than House already clearly thought she was.

He turned to stare at her, his jaw clenching and unclenching, and she was helpless to stop herself from reaching for a pillow to cover herself with before looking away, unable to sustain his gaze.

It was a moment before he quietly expelled his breath and reluctantly mumbled, "Maybe you weren't being rough. I don't know. It felt like it to me but…"

"I don't know what to say," she murmured softly when his words fell away, sighing as she shook her head, reaching up to brush her hair from her face before she allowed herself to look at him, barely refraining from crying. "This isn't the first time we've had sex while angry about stuff involving work House, and generally we've done so because you initiated it. And… as far as I know, it's never been a problem for you. Maybe... I made a mistake in thinking tonight would be no different. I… certainly wouldn't have initiated sex tonight if I… thought it might bother you _this_ time."

It wasn't like angry sex was a common occurrence between them these days, but since he'd been back at PPTH it _had _happened a few times and… it hadn't proven an issue for either one of them, not to mention how sex had quickly served to reduce tensions between them and relieve their built up stress, restoring their _desire _to work things out at PPTH as well once they're priorities were once more in line. And she was right. Having sex while angry with one another _had_ been something _he'd _initiated, as Cuddy had initially struggled to allow that to happen because of… their history, House being the driving force behind angry sex then, up until now anyways, as he'd viewed it as a personal challenge to prove himself capable of tackling.

Cuddy clamped her lips together, preventing any further flow of her words completely because obviously whatever objection House was making now, related to why she herself hadn't wanted to back then.

"I don't have a problem with angry sex," House dryly remarked, interrupting her thoughts, his expression revealing a small amount of frustration. And Cuddy instantly knew it wasn't so much aimed at her as in response to having this conversation be necessary. She'd known him long enough to know that while he was much more willing to at least consider opening up, and often _did_, it didn't make this kind of honesty _pleasant _for him, even if she did what she could to have the outcome of it be pleasant enough to not discourage him from ever being honest again.

Running a hand over his face then, he mumbled, "Not when we're both angry. But… I'm _not _angry Cuddy. _You_ _are. _And it's directed at me."

Cuddy sputtered as if to interrupt him but he held up a hand before rushing to continue, not giving her a chance because then he figured they'd just be arguing and he'd never say what he felt he had to now, whether or not he wanted to. "I'm not saying you don't have a right to be angry," he acknowledged. "I _was _being a complete jerk today. I know that. And then you said something that provoked me and I… embarrassed you to prove a point. I get it. I'm an ass. But… It's just… You being angry at me… Impatient… Telling me to shut up and just fuck you… For a second there it _felt_ like… _before._ Like you… just wanted me to get you off. And that it… wasn't about us at all. I… My body just… shut down on me," he concluded in misery and disappointment.

Cuddy sucked in a breath through her nose, her eyes squeezing shut in pain at having him explain this and then verbally tie it in to the past.

It was unnecessary for House to voice it now but he mumbled all the same, "We've been having sex for months without problem and… I guess I just didn't expect an issue anymore. Then when it presented itself… I'm sorry. I just can't right now Cuddy," he finished dismally, looking away from her before his voice further reflected his discouragement as he added quietly, "I'm going to go get a glass of water."

House turned back to the door, pulling it open and then heading out, walking in the direction of the kitchen, stealing one last look at her, frowning at even having this happen, before he then released a breath and continued on, knowing they both could benefit from a moment alone.

Cuddy was in the bathroom when he came back reluctantly in their room, the door closed, but House could hear her crying and now on top of feeling crappy for not having been able to handle things, his mind throwing the past in his face while his body shut down on them in response, he also felt guilty for making _her _feel guilty.

If he knocked though he'd be giving her the option to reject him, whether that was her intention or not, and so he didn't bother, turning the knob and pushing it open when he found it unlocked, his eyes focused on her as she sucked in a breath and struggled to hide her tears now that he was in the doorway, looking at her. House waited only a second before he continued in, coming to a stop before her where she sat on top of the closed toilet lid in… the pink robe he liked so much to take _off _her.

"I…" Cuddy quickly tried to spit out before he could say anything, licking her lips and then trying again right away after having swallowed first. "I can… go sleep in the guest bedroom, if you'd prefer me to. If being around me right now is…"

"_No," _he negated sternly, not allowing her to continue. "We're not sleeping in separate bedrooms, Cuddy. Not ever again."

She glanced up at him briefly, having been evading his gaze up until this point, but then looked away to stare at the floor as she nodded her acceptance. "Okay," she whispered, knowing she ought to be relieved he didn't want her to sleep elsewhere but… unable to muster any relief because all she saw stretching ahead of them was misery tonight.

"Enough with the waterworks," he dryly mumbled, secretly pleased when she managed to glare up at him, even while it barely lit upon her lips before it was gone just as quickly, replaced by a frown that deepened as she was wracked by a dry sob she couldn't seem to repress, her head dropping down so as to further escape eye contact, her shoulders hunching in.

His hand came up then, finding her wet cheek and moving along it tenderly, his thumb swiping away moisture while his other fingers brought her hair back, tucking a lock behind her ear. His other hand came forward to stroke her other cheek, a small smile curving the corner of his mouth when she sighed unbeknownst to her and leaned into his touch, her eyes fluttering closed, and House couldn't help but glance down the front of her robe when opportunity presented itself, his smile growing before he dropped his hands only to reach for her armpits, heaving her up and against him the next second even as she tried to push him away now, not wanting his comfort.

But her efforts were halfhearted at most, mainly because she didn't want to hurt him by knocking him off balance and make things worse, and House's right arm encircled her waist, holding her securely to him while his other hand buried itself in her hair, his head lowering so that he could nuzzle her, pressing kisses sporadically to her head because if he felt guilty for their sex being a flop, Cuddy was obviously all the more pained by what she was undoubtedly taking full responsibility for right now. And in light of all he'd put her through at work the last couple weeks, it hardly seemed fair.

"Relax," he muttered as she stayed tense against him, his tone reflecting annoyance that his actions easily contradicted. "It just means that if you want angry sex, you'll have to first work harder at pissing me off too. You know you like a challenge."

Cuddy scoffed indignantly against him but helplessly succumbed to him, easing against him and breathing him in as she finally allowed her arms to come up and surround his waist, returning his embrace before she sniffed and then rubbed her nose against his chest, appreciating more than she'd admit to out loud, the fact that he hadn't put his shirt back on so that she had the skin-to-skin contact she desperately craved right now.

His hand left her hair and her lips turned into a pout but then her eyebrows scrunched up as she felt his hand behind her and yet not exactly touching her, helplessly finding a smile taking over her face the next moment as her unspoken question was answered, cool air hitting her as House finished bunching the material of her robe up before his other hand slid down to eagerly knead her rear end.

"House, don't," she heard herself moan a second later, but the hitch in her voice and the need in her tone told both of them she didn't mean no and House smiled against her hair even as his body responded to the feel of her pressed against him.

His hand squeezed her flesh again, his thumb tracing circles immediately after the squeeze before his other arm drew her into him so that she'd feel his desire as the flame within him once more unfurled, ready for another attempt.

Cuddy gasped, her head falling back as she looked up at him, wide-eyed.

"What?" he asked wryly, an eyebrow quirked. "You thought one setback meant a complete relapse? You thought because the curtain came down, the show was over? You're not angry right now. And I'm fine. So we're totally picking up where we left off. The show must go on, Cuddles!"

Her eyes narrowed as she scrunched her nose before she skeptically asked, "You're turned on by my crying?"

"No," he denied instantly, frowning down at her. "I'm not a Sadist, Cuddy."

She allowed the corner of her mouth to go up then but she released her hold on him nevertheless, stepping back when he let go. She didn't break eye contact as she considered him thoughtfully and House was about to object to the distance she'd placed between them when his eyes fell, noting how loose the knot on her robe had become, just barely intact, the front of her robe now parted enough so that all but her nipples were exposed, to his delight.

He didn't waste any more time, reaching out to undo the knot completely, breathing out, "Gawd, I love taking this robe off of you."

"House," she murmured in protest as he reached up to shove it off her shoulders and down her arms, but she was already unable to keep from smiling, despite how hard she fought to, and quickly found herself biting back a moan as he reached for her hand the minute the robe fell free and to the floor, placing her palm against the front of his boxers to remind her that he wanted her, his eyes shutting as he released a ragged breath when her hand hesitantly wrapped around him once more through the fabric of his boxers, and House's hand slid up the length of her arm then before tilting her chin up, holding her face as he blindly lowered his to hers, swallowing the moan she released the next second as his other hand found her breast, squeezing it before his thumb circled her nipple.

Cuddy whimpered as his tongue swiped over her lips and then her mouth parted to welcome him within, her tongue stroking his in greeting as the space between them closed.

"I… I was trying to provoke you," she admitted quietly when they broke the kiss, glancing up at him through lowered lashes. "I just… It was misguided I guess. Not being able to make love with you House… It's been hard on me too. And so I… I thought maybe by implying what I did, you'd perhaps… follow me out of your office and get us alone somewhere to remind me of just how wrong I was. I've missed you so much these last weeks… I would have broken my rule for you. I would have broken it today for both of us. And I thought… if you chose to go home instead, then I'd just quickly follow suit. I figured even then we'd get some time in together with the girls and maybe… once Erika got home, I could ask her to take them for a few hours so we could be alone, assuming we couldn't wait for them to be in bed. But… I didn't see you doing what you did and yes, it infuriated me. You implanted in their minds something that was meant to be between you and me alone. I didn't appreciate that. I _still _don't appreciate that. But I understand I am partly to blame and so… I'm sorry for provoking you with my comment. I wasn't angry when I came home. But maybe when you implied I'd been thinking about how well-equipped you are all day, it made me angry again for a moment because… that can't ever happen again House. I can't have you make a public spectacle of our private life with audio or worse, visual evidence. I need to be able to… to trust you too," she concluded seriously, biting her lip as she awaited his response.

"I regretted it the minute you left," he admitted honestly after a second, knowing he had to give her something here. "And not just because I recognized you might not want to sleep with me ever again. I knew I'd gone too far, Cuddy. I fully expected you to come home and destroy that tape as soon as you came in the door."

"Well," she murmured then, moistening her lips before looking at his, a hand stroking over his chest. "You do need to erase that sound clip from your phone…"

"Already done," he interrupted to swear.

She gave him a grateful smile but picked right back up where she left off. "But I think that… might be a _little_ hasty as I'm kind of fond of that tape. Though I do think it's time I bought a safe to store it in. A safe I _won't _be giving you the combination to."

He smirked before bringing his mouth to hers, deepening the kiss when her eyes closed in surrender as she pressed in all the closer to him, clearly ready to end the conversation where it stood. Then he turned with her in his arms and walked her backwards out of the bathroom until she bumped into the bed, following her onto it once he'd hoisted her up, letting what was between them build up slowly with leisurely kisses and gentle caresses before he eased inside her when her thighs parted to receive him, neither one rushing now as they became one, once again.

* * *

"_**Where is the moment we needed the most?  
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost  
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey  
They tell me your passion's gone away  
And I don't need no carryin' on**_

**_You stand in the line just to hit a new low_**  
**_You're faking a smile with the coffee to go_**  
**_You tell me your life's been way off line_**  
**_You're falling to pieces every time_**  
**_And I don't need no carryin' on_**

**_'Cause you had a bad day_**  
**_You're taking one down_**  
**_You sing a sad song just to turn it around_**  
**_You say you don't know_**  
**_You tell me don't lie_**  
**_You work at a smile and you go for a ride_**  
**_You had a bad day_**  
**_The camera don't lie_**  
**_You're coming back down and you really don't mind_**  
**_You had a bad day_**  
**_You had a bad day_**

**_Well you need a blue sky holiday_**  
**_The point is they laugh at what you say_**  
**_And I don't need no carryin' on_**

**_You had a bad day_**  
**_You're taking one down_**  
**_You sing a sad song just to turn it around_**  
**_You say you don't know_**  
**_You tell me don't lie_**  
**_You work at a smile and you go for a ride_**  
**_You had a bad day_**  
**_The camera don't lie_**  
**_You're coming back down and you really don't mind_**  
**_You had a bad day_**

**_(Oh, holiday)_**

**_Sometimes the system goes on the blink_**  
**_And the whole thing turns out wrong_**  
**_You might not make it back and you know_**  
**_That you could be well oh that strong_**  
**_And I'm not wrong_**

**_So where is the passion when you need it the most?_**  
**_Oh you and I_**  
**_You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost_**

**_'Cause you had a bad day_**  
**_You're taking one down_**  
**_You sing a sad song just to turn it around_**  
**_You say you don't know_**  
**_You tell me don't lie_**  
**_You work at a smile and you go for a ride_**  
**_You had a bad day_**  
**_You've seen what you like_**  
**_And how does it feel one more time_**  
**_You had a bad day_**  
**_You had a bad day_**

**_Had a bad day_**  
**_Had a bad day_**  
**_Had a bad day_**  
**_Had a bad day_**  
**_Had a bad day"_**

* * *

Song: "Bad Day" (Daniel Powter)


	124. Endless Love

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

August 11th, 2012

"Would you relax?" House demanded as he wryly watched Wilson fidget with his tie and tux after Chase had slipped from the room to check in with Cameron and Elliot. "Everything's going to go fine. Man, even Erika isn't this wound up. You've got to chill out."

Wilson glanced his way absently and then sighed, dropping his hands to his sides, recognizing that he _was _acting a little out of control at present.

"You'd think this would be a walk in the park for a guy who is doing this for the fourth time now," House snidely griped. "You've had enough practice runs to know what to expect."

Wilson narrowed his eyes at his best friend but retorted, "Maybe that's not the problem. Maybe it's _because _this is my fourth time that I'm feeling like I can't breathe right now."

"I doubt it," House grunted disbelievingly as Wilson loosened his tie anyway. "You having second thoughts?"

"No! Of course not!" Wilson protested. "Erika isn't like anyof my exes. I've ignored red flags in the past but this time there are none. Not a single one. I just… This is the _last _time I'm walking down the aisle. This time, I'm going to make it work no matter the cost. And I just… don't want anything to go wrong today. I want this to be _perfect._"

"Well don't look at me," House interjected pointedly. "I've already promised to be on my best behavior today. Otherwise Cuddy has sworn to make me regret it. Do you know how good the sex is right now? Pretty damn good! There's no way I'm risking being cut off just to get your goat today. Not to mention I have _no _desire to get on Erika's bad side. One pissed off pregnant woman is formidable enough without having it become _two_ pissed off pregnant women jointly plotting my demise."

Wilson gave his best friend a droll look before shaking his head and sighing. But he stopped fidgeting for the moment and that was good enough for House.

House smiled wryly then. "Trevor's excited about today," he mumbled with ire to distract him.

Wilson returned his reluctant smile with a grin. "Yeah. He's been great about _everything. _I don't know who was more on edge about telling him that he was going to have both a sibling _and _a stepfather shortly, Erika or me. But he surprised us both by embracing the idea. I thought for sure he'd take issue just with me moving in permanently, but no. So much for talking about moving to another house and getting away from you, I guess."

House's mouth twitched before he replied with an accompanying smirk, "Like you'd _want _to get away from me."

Wilson squinted at him in response but made no comment.

"I can't believe you chose the kid to be your best man over me," House complained then.

Wilson wryly chuckled but shook his head in response. "I trust him with the ring more than I trust you," he quipped, earning himself a put out scowl from House, even if it only lasted a brief moment.

"Yeah well, wait 'til you hear the toast I've been saving up for this day," House retorted slyly, receiving a squinty look from Wilson in response.

"We should go," Wilson finally acknowledged after glancing at the clock.

House nodded and followed him out of the room Wilson had been assigned for getting ready in the country club where the wedding was being held. They walked together down the hallway and to where the guests were entering before they were to be seated. Trevor joined them then and House reached to rifle his hair but Wilson quickly shoved his hand away, shooting him a dirty look, even as Trevor shot him a grin before greeting his grandparents who had just walked up to speak with them.

House hung around a few minutes, listening as Wilson and Trevor greeted people who had come, his mouth quirking at how Wilson had already taken to placing his hand on Trevor's shoulder in a display of unity or something. But he quickly deserted them when Chase came into sight with a whining Evie in his arms to pass off to him.

"Cuddy asked if you could take her for a little while. Apparently she's getting into trouble," Chase wryly informed him, passing the toddler over to him then. "Talk about a chip off the old block."

House rolled his eyes but smirked all the same. "What did she do?" he couldn't help enquiring curiously, an eyebrow raised as he adjusted Evie in his arms, patting her back so that she'd settle down and stop her crying, clearly more upset over not getting her way in regards to something than because of anything else.

Chase grinned. "I'm not sure. I think she kept going after the beadwork on Erika's dress or something and Cuddy couldn't hold her because then she was trying to get her hands on her earrings with the intention of yanking them out. Cameron just implied that Cuddy was worried she'd cause Erika stress if they didn't get her out of there fast, but given how serene Erika is at the moment, I'd guess it's more about _Cuddy's _stress level. She said if you could keep her for fifteen minutes, that'd be great."

House grunted but nodded as Chase turned to walk away before his eyes fell to Evie just as she made a grab for his boutonniere. He couldn't stop her in time and sighed resignedly when she began to howl, having somehow managed to prick one of her fingers on the pin attaching it to his tux. Thankfully the rose was no worse for wear.

"Serves you right," he told her even as he brought a hand up to swipe away the crocodile tears descending her cheeks before kissing the hand that Evie held up to him, still crying but quieting somewhat when he'd kissed her finger in response. "Don't touch, kid," he instructed then, giving her a pointed look as his eyes narrowed upon her.

She sniffed and pouted but mumbled, "Owie. Hurt baby."

"Uh-huh," he agreed dryly, turning to walk around with her, not about to put her down in case she only got herself into more trouble. He was grateful Evelyn intended to come, just in case they needed help with the girls, or more specifically, Evie.

Fifteen minutes later he brought her back to the bridal suite, knocking on the door.

Cuddy popped her head out and smiled at seeing him. "Thanks for taking her House," she expressed even as she reached to take her back, Evie's hands thankfully occupied with a toy he'd tracked down for her out in the car, the toddler grinning up at her mommy before showing her the toy in her hands.

"Yeah," he replied dismissively as he eyed her in the bridesmaid dress she had on, his mouth quirking up as his hand quickly gravitated to her belly to rub circles over her baby bump, Cuddy now four months along.

Her smile widened as she adjusted Evie to free a hand to cover his and then she lifted her head up to kiss him, House not wasting a second in complying with her unspoken request, kissing her leisurely as he stepped into her, his hand finding its way to the small of her back.

"Break it up out there," Erika called out teasingly, waiting until they'd separated before sticking her head out the door to see him.

"How's James doing?" she checked in with a wry expression, clearly expecting him to be a jumble of nerves right now.

House rolled his eyes but reassured, "He's fine. Greeting guests with Trevor as we speak."

She smiled, pleased, and House chuckled even as Rachel pushed her way through to see him, having heard his voice.

"Hi daddy!" she greeted happily, her hands finding their way to latch on to the skirt of her dress. "Do you see how pretty I am?"

He chuckled again but nodded as she twirled around for him, her skirt swishing through the air and loose curls bouncing as she grinned up at him upon coming to a stop.

"Back inside, Rachel," Cuddy instructed then, motioning her within the suite. "And _you_," she said, directing her gaze back at House, "better get back to Wilson. It's almost time."

He scrunched his nose and sighed heavily, provoking a laugh from Erika.

He intentionally crowded Cuddy then so that he could look inside the suite and see Erika's dress as she rolled her eyes but stepped back in compliance so he could see her, having understood his intentions. His mouth quirked in response, Erika stunning in her empire waist wedding dress with a beaded sweep train that went out behind her, the decorative flower adorning her dress resting high on the right side of her baby bump, shoulders bare as her dress was of a spaghetti string variety, the bodice conforming to her perfectly.

"I look like a blimp, don't I?" Erika inquired dryly, her hand stroking over her rapidly expanding belly in emphasis, seven months along now.

Cuddy huffed disbelievingly as she shook her head. "You look gorgeous," she reassured before House could speak up.

"Thank you, Lisa," Erika murmured, though she raised an eyebrow expectantly as she waited for House to respond, waiting for him to snidely snark with _something_.

He rolled his eyes but his mouth quirked before he jokingly quipped with a shrug, "If I was a polygamist, I'd give Wilson a run for his money."

Cuddy scoffed but Erika laughed before shaking her head at him, House looking rather smug himself before laughing at the dirty look Cuddy gave him even as her mouth quirked upwards as she rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry," House reassured her, wiggling his eyebrows at her. "One wife's about all I can handle. Oops. I mean, _you're the only woman for me, dear."_

Cuddy harrumphed and then nudged him out of the doorway, clearly wanting him to leave now and return to his post and House grunted at the elbow he took to his chest before he grinned at Cuddy, receiving an affectionate smile before Cuddy pushed herself up to press a kiss to his cheek.

"Scram," she murmured with a slight push on his chest immediately afterwards, biting her lip as she watched him.

"I'm going, I'm going," he grunted. "Geesh!"

He turned and walked away though, glancing back over his shoulder to roll his eyes at Cuddy for watching him walk away, smirking when the door shut noisily behind him a second later as if to counteract the way she'd been looking at him.

Within another five minutes he was following Wilson and Trevor to their positions up front, one of Wilson's brothers and Chase right behind him as the music started up to let guests know it was time to take a seat before the big event got underway.

* * *

House smirked at how Wilson was nervously shifting about as if Erika was going to change her mind and leave him waiting at the altar. Then his eyes were drawn away as Erika's bridesmaids began their way down the altar towards the men, the matron of honor being a woman he'd only just met at the reception dinner earlier that week, a cousin of Erika's he believed, followed by another woman he didn't know, as well as Cuddy and then Cameron. His smirk returned in noting that Cuddy's eyes were upon _him, _her smile growing and yet almost shy when he returned her gaze with an intense look all his own, her increasingly curvy body doing things to him even now as he watched her approach the front.

His eyes returned to his buddy briefly once Cuddy and Cameron were in place but then flicked to the aisle again as Rachel, Evie and Elliot all came down the aisle in a little group, drawing many oohs and aahs as they passed. And no matter how many times they'd practiced this, while Rachel did exactly what she was supposed to, coming to stand by her mommy, Evie trotted over to _him, _pulling on his pant legs and calling for his attention, regardless of her mother being not ten feet away, hissing her name. He shook his head and scooped her up, giving Cuddy a look to say he'd deal with her. Then the music changed, signaling the bride's entrance, and everyone redirected their gaze from his favorite little troublemaker to Erika as she began to walk down the aisle.

House quirked an eyebrow when he saw Wilson immediately gather himself and leave off fidgeting, apparently calming down at Erika's entrance upon the scene. Then he shifted his gaze to the back of the room as Erika came down the aisle on her father's arm, all eyes on her.

He hoped the ceremony would prove short, as Erika intended for it to, not wanting to be on her feet too long. Otherwise, he'd readily deliver Evie to her grandma who was sitting not too far away, on standby in case the toddler gave them all a run for their money today. Thankfully though, Evie at present was proving just as interested in what was going on around her as everyone else who had gathered to celebrate Erika and Wilson's special day. He just hoped that would last for the duration of the ceremony.

* * *

House raised an eyebrow when Erika approached him at the reception, holding her hand out for him to take.

"I don't think my arms are long enough to wrap around the Hindenburg," he grumbled, though he didn't fight being dragged out onto the dance floor by her.

She only smiled, turning to him once they were out on the floor to place her hands on his shoulders as he resignedly placed his hands on her waist, swaying with her in compliance.

"I thought I didn't _have _to dance at this thing," he mumbled then.

"You have to do whatever the bride wants you to," she corrected, garnishing herself a wry chuckle even though he obliged and guided her about on the dance floor as instructed, glimpsing Cuddy laughing at him for ending up on the dance floor regardless of his intentions to do what he could to avoid it today and shooting her a dirty look in response before concentrating on Erika once more.

"Why aren't you dancing with Wilson?" he inquired then.

She huffed out a breath but replied with self-deprecation, "Because I had to go to the bathroom for the millionth time today and when I came back he was already dancing with my mom. Besides, I've _been _dancing with him. It won't hurt you to dance with me for just one song."

He smirked but changed the subject then to quip, "Good job not passing out earlier."

She laughed but dryly muttered, "Well, I aim to please. And you only told me not to a couple hundred times in the last few weeks."

"Eh," he dismissed. "I was actually speaking more to Wilson. He has a tendency to lock his knees when he's at the altar."

She laughed again, glancing briefly in the direction of her groom before her eyes returned to House and she shook her head at him.

His mouth twitched but he turned serious after a second, mumbling, "He's very lucky to have you, you know," before rolling his eyes when she gave him a sweet smile.

"He is," she agreed, laughing when he smirked in response.

"So, tell me again how you're naming this kid after me," he inquired next, wiggling his eyebrows at her before his eyes fell down to her belly between them.

"Sorry," she replied, her expression falsely pained. "But you already know she's a girl. And I'm _not _naming her Gregoria."

"You should think about it though," he joked. "Gregoria was the empress consort of Constantine III."

She groaned but shook her head. "Not gonna happen, House," she replied without hesitation. "I've always known what I wanted to name a daughter, if I was ever to have one, and James has already agreed to let me name her after my grandmother. We're going to call her Adelaide Evangeline. Evangeline after her dad, sort of, since James' middle name is Evan."

House breathed out heavily but bemoaned, "Well, I guess Cameron's my last hope then. Maybe I can get _her _to name a kid after me."

"She's not pregnant," Erika negated, though she faltered in uncertainty. "Is she?"

He chuckled but shook his head. "Not yet. But they're trying, which pretty much means I will shortly be surrounded by pregnant ladies, as if I'm not already."

"It must be very hard being you," she replied before laughing at the self-pitying expression on his face.

The song came to an end and House surprised her by rather reluctantly passing her off to Wilson when he came to claim her. But House scouted out his wife then, dragging Cuddy out onto the dance floor with him as she smiled in amusement that he was actually initiating a dance, casting a glance at the girls who were playing with Elliot at present, under Evelyn's watchful eye, before her eyes returned to him.

She laughed when he drew her in close so that her baby bump was pressing against him, but quite willingly wrapped her arms around his neck, sighing against his sternum as his hands stroked over her lower back.

"How are you?" he asked genuinely as he kneaded her lower back muscles now.

She smiled against him but replied, "I'm doing pretty good. Ready to get rid of my heels but… otherwise I'm fine. It helps that I've been sitting down for the last hour."

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and she smiled all the more before looking up at him. "How are you?" she asked then.

"Ready to get out of here. Not that _that's_ going to happen for another couple hours yet," he replied unenthusiastically.

She bit her lip, staring up at him, and he pursed his mouth but shrugged. "What do you do?" he added noncommittally. "It is what it is."

Her eyes flicked to his lips and then she moistened her own before suggesting, "We could… sneak off for a little while, if you want to of course, so long as we return in time for the cake being cut. We might have… oh, a half hour," she guessed.

He looked at her with surprise before his expression morphed in interest. "I'm game. But what about the girls?" he pressed.

She slid one hand through the hair at the back of his nape, causing House to press her more tightly to him, Cuddy biting back a moan before she murmured, "My mom has them. They'll be fine."

"Are you going to tell her we're slipping out?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

She smiled but dismissively replied, "She'll figure it out for herself House. I don't think we need to have _that _conversation."

He laughed but nodded before releasing her, claiming her hand and then dragging her from the room, proving more anxious than he'd at first seemed, wiggling his eyebrows at Evelyn when their eyes met by coincidence before he and Cuddy could fully escape from sight.

He smirked when she waved them on, shaking her head, but he said nothing to Cuddy who had missed the interaction completely, too focused on where they might sneak off to now to notice her mother had spotted them.

"Where are we headed?" House practically demanded once the ballroom was behind them, his tone indicating his increasing urgency to get her alone now that he knew this was going to happen.

She smiled but led _him _then, down a deserted hallway just off of where the country club's kitchen was located towards a stairway she'd seen in passing before descending it with him. Figuring they were now in a more deserted portion of the country club she took a left and then a right before spotting a ladies bathroom that had a sign on the door, indicating it was closed for remodeling. She hesitated but then glanced back at House before trying the door and finding it unlocked. Relieved, she felt around for the light switch on the wall within and then stepped inside to what appeared to be a sitting room leading into the bathroom beyond it, the tile floor there ripped up, dragging House along with her before glancing back to note there _was _a lock on the door and flipping it to prevent anyone from walking in on them, just in case someone on staff passed by and stopped to investigate either the noise they'd probably shortly be responsible for or the light coming from under the door. When she turned back around it was to find House standing before her, the expression on his face revealing his desire if the fact that his hands were already unbuckling his pants didn't clue her in.

She sucked in a breath, heat washing over her as her eyelids descended partway, parts of her already clenching in anticipation.

"Dress on or off?" he gruffly demanded to know as he reached for her, his pants now undone and gaping open.

"Off," she almost whispered before more loudly instructing, _"Off. _Get it off me."

He turned her, his hands on her waist, and she willingly allowed him to do with her as he pleased as he manhandled her with urgency before unzipping her dress and helping her out of it as quickly as he could, Cuddy gasping as he shoved the straps down her arms until the dress pooled on the floor before he lifted her right out of it and guided her towards a wall nearby, pressing into her back even as her hands flattened against the wall, her forearms giving her some leverage as she spread her legs to make room for him, needing to feel him against her more.

"_Oh,"_ she cried out even as his hands slipped down her waist and into the band of her thong, hurriedly pushing it down until it caught on her thighs, Cuddy wiggling slightly to get it to fall down the rest of the way as he bucked against her repeatedly.

He groaned and rocked into her with more urgency in response to her wiggling but Cuddy bit her lip to stifle a moan before instructing, "House, you need to get naked. I am _not _going back into that ballroom with you if you _look _like we just had sex somewhere. No inexplicable wet patches. I mean it."

He grunted but said nothing as he released her to hurriedly undo his dress shirt, having already shed his tuxedo jacket an hour ago, his eyes on her bare ass as she waited for him, not leaving her spot because she was trembling with need already, needing her heels to remain on if they were going to make this work where they were, her eyes closed as she listened to the sound of his clothing rustling behind her while she tried to breathe regularly, feeling flushed and desperate for him already, her heart beating double-time, it seemed.

She didn't know how he did this to her with such ease and so little effort.

She heard him throw aside his shirt then, shoving his pants down, and hoped his boxers had gone down with them to cut down on how long it would be before he was inside her as she breathed out more raggedly now that she knew he was fumbling behind her to step out of his shoes and free himself altogether from his clothes.

House didn't bother taking the time to remove his socks, instead jerking his t-shirt over his head so that he could press up against her once more, with every intention of removing her bra while he was at it.

Cuddy opened her eyes when his hands came around her to undo her front clasp and remove her strapless bra, only then lifting her head. She moaned when she turned it to the side to press a flushed cheek to the cool wall and realized the next wall over was one long mirror, allowing her to see them both in profile as House closed the distance between them, his eyes on her ass, Cuddy vaguely registering in the back of her mind that he was still wearing his socks but unable to protest or even laugh at him by now.

He cupped her full breasts even as he drew closer, pressing against her before trailing kisses along the back of her neck. House knew they couldn't do this against the wall as they were, even if Cuddy currently believed otherwise, because it wouldn't be comfortable for either of them, House not liking the idea of banging his pregnant wife repeatedly into a wall when he actually penetrated her, even if her heels were more comfortable than he knew them to be with her feet slightly swollen at present. Still he bucked into her when she rocked back against him before reluctantly releasing a breast to caress his way down her belly and slip his fingers between her legs, Cuddy moaning as he pressed his way inside her with two fingers, his thumb slowly circling her as he began to move his fingers in and out, smirking over how wet she was, before he groaned as she began to rock her pelvis between him and his hand, making his own need for her escalate in response.

He brought his mouth to her shoulder then, nipping her as his hand on her breast pinched her nipple, smirking when she quickly grew more vocal and rocked harder against his hand. But he was not surprised when in frustration she apologized whiningly a minute later, "House, I'm sorry but… I've got to get these heels off. They're killing me."

He grunted in acknowledgement of what she'd said and with marked reluctance, slowly removed his hand from her, groaning when she protested with a high-pitched whimper before stepping back, though his hand only left her breast because she turned the opposite direction, breaking the connection.

Cuddy wasted no time however in proceeding, her eyes stormy as she kicked her heels aside before using a hand upon his chest to guide him back to the nearby loveseat. She cringed at the idea of having him sit there, not knowing what had taken place upon it before, but House had no qualms about sitting down, especially as this was adjacent to the women's bathroom rather than the men's, reaching to pull her down upon him in turn, Cuddy following willingly as she straddled him breathlessly and then eagerly guided him inside her as she gasped raggedly in response, her eyes fluttering closed as her back arched, House quickly bringing his mouth to her breast as her hand grasped desperately at his shoulder blade to stabilize herself while she sank down on him, crying out, throwing restraint momentarily out the window as she began to slowly ride him, her other hand holding him to her breast as she bit her lip to try and quiet herself lest they draw attention to what they were doing.

When she opened her eyes to find herself once more watching them in the mirror, she rocked with more desperation, not restraining her moan as House nipped her breast before turning his attention to her other breast, lavishing it with the same attention he'd shown the other one before his hands slid down her back, his hips lifting to begin thrusting in response to her thrusts. And then he released her breast and lifted his head to watch her intently, loving the opportunity to watch her in the throes of passion, her chest flushed and bouncing unrestrained, Cuddy whimpering at the eye contact when she turned her head to watch him watch her, not breaking it then, not even to watch what they were doing in the mirror now, eagerly capturing his mouth a second later as she moaned before sweeping her tongue through his mouth when he willingly opened to her. And then his hand slipped around her to find her clit and she cried out his name the loudest he'd ever heard her, arching wildly as her orgasm hit her. Just like that House's orgasm washed over him and he pumped desperately into her, drawing it out as long as he could before he slowed and then stilled completely as Cuddy collapsed against him, crying against his chest.

He could feel the workout he'd just gotten in the dull ache he felt in his thigh now but made no move to do anything about it, it not being too bad yet, his hand stroking over Cuddy's back, soothing her, this not being the first time an orgasm had brought her to the point of sobbing against him of late.

When she finally quieted though, he pressed a kiss to her shoulder before following it up with another and another, working his way up until he reached her jawline and she pulled back enough to meet his mouth with her own, her arms wrapping around his neck as she allowed his tongue entrance into her mouth before she absently started slowly rocking against him once more.

"We don't have time," he grumbled unhappily when he finally broke the kiss before his mouth quirked up at her display of openness to going again, though if he were honest he'd have to admit as much as he'd like to go another round and throw their responsibilities to the wind, it wouldn't be possible until his thigh had some time to recuperate from his exertions a little, House having been a little _too_ eager, to just sit back and allow Cuddy to do more of the work and spare him the strain he'd placed it under in not taking more care.

"Are you sure?" she asked with a pout, though she stopped moving against him.

He chuckled dryly but nodded. "We're going to be pressed for time as it is since you're going to take one look in the mirror and demand I go find your makeup bag for you so you can do some damage control before we return to the party."

She groaned, knowing that meant her mascara had probably run due to her cry-fest and irritated with herself, huffed out a breath. But House just kissed her again before reluctantly helping her off of him.

"Do you think the sinks work?" she asked then with an eyebrow crooked wryly, her nose wrinkling.

"Guess we'll find out," he mumbled, watching her walk away from him, completely nude, before he grinned, absently rubbing his thigh a moment before getting to his feet to follow after her, pleased when it didn't do more than twinge in response as he limped after her.

"You do realize you look absolutely ridiculous right now, right?" she dryly informed him as her mouth pursed in humor upon glancing his way, now able to acknowledge his state of being naked except for the black dress socks he'd never removed.

"You say that like you didn't walk away from one of our sexcapades just a week ago with your bra awkwardly covering only half of you and your panties knotted around one knee," he retorted with an eyebrow raised pointedly, his expression disbelieving.

She pursed her mouth but then couldn't help smiling as she nodded wryly in agreement that he had a point.

"You don't mind going to get my makeup for me?" she asked hesitantly then, her nose wrinkling once more.

He rolled his eyes but shook his head. "Just… give me a minute to clean up first," he mumbled as he joined her at the sinks, being careful to tread carefully as she had, across the torn up flooring.

It took a great deal of effort though for her to concentrate on what she was doing when they _both _kept stealing glances at the other in the mirror. Biting her lip, she reluctantly forced her eyes from him, knowing he'd already done what he could to be _responsible_ and now it fell to her to follow through or they would be _extremely _late for the duties that yet awaited them upstairs.

* * *

"Where have you two been?" Cameron asked with a raised eyebrow when they finally reappeared upstairs.

House made no reply, turning away as if he hadn't heard her question in an attempt to hide his smirk. But that only meant he found himself confronted with the knowing dirty look Wilson was shooting him.

"Hey, there's a price to be paid for being married to the goddess of sex and sometimes a man just has to bite the bullet and pay the piper," House muttered under his breath so only Wilson would hear, Cuddy smacking him despite not knowing what he was saying.

"If I get any suspicious charges on the bill for dry-cleaning or what not, just know you'll be paying _this _piper," Wilson grumbled before rubbing a hand over his face at their lack of restraint.

"When will you be cutting the cake?" Cuddy asked then, eager to change the subject.

Chase chuckled as Cameron wryly said, "They already cut it. You missed Wilson getting cake shoved up his nose. Erika just slipped away to clean up herself. Now they're just plating it up to serve everyone."

Wilson snorted even as House whined unhappily, shooting Cuddy a dirty look as if she was personally responsible for him having missed Wilson getting creamed, which she supposed she was but there was no way he'd rather have been present for that than in the middle of having sex with her, which her look communicated clearly, House huffing out a breath but remaining silent because of that being true.

"Don't worry. I have it on film," Chase interjected then, already flipping through pictures to play the clip for House a second later.

House laughed at the video, especially appreciating the look on Wilson's face as he attempted to discretely blow cake out of his nose afterwards, Erika with cake smeared on one cheek, laughing at him throughout. Then he bent down to scoop Rachel up when she came running over.

"We have cake now daddy?" she asked him, her eyes wide as she nodded enthusiastically as if to indicate what his answer was to be.

He snorted but nodded before turning to head over to where Evelyn was seated with Evie sitting in her lap, just sleepy enough to remain there as she drank from her sippy cup, rather than acting the role of the terror she sometimes was.

She released the sippy cup from her mouth, the suction making a popping noise at being broken, and grinned up at him then, holding her cup up for him to see.

He smiled, raising an eyebrow at his kid, but directed his gaze to Evelyn then who shook her head at him, her mouth pursed, though she said nothing whatsoever regarding their disappearance.

Cuddy had followed him over and sat down before discreetly toeing off her heels under the table and House gave her a significant look which she pretended to ignore even as one corner of her mouth rose. "How are you doing, mom?"

Good," Evelyn responded with a smile. "The girls have both been on their best behavior. I'm not sure I can say the same for you two though, Lisa," she slyly tagged on to her answer.

Cuddy's eyes widened but she said nothing in response, quickly looking away as her cheeks pinked slightly, her mother laughing at her while House just smirked.

"Thanks for helping out with the girls," Cuddy said a full minute later when she felt it was safe to speak again. "You're a lifesaver. If you want to head out though, we understand. We don't have any more responsibilities anyway. _Although, _you might want to stick around for cake as the woman who designed Erika's cake was featured on that TV show, Amazing Wedding Cakes. I hear her cakes are amazingly good."

Evelyn nodded, an eyebrow quirking in interest, and Cuddy stole a glance at House before she smiled widely, reaching for Evie then as cake was brought round and passed out to free her mother to enjoy a slice.

* * *

"Okay, so you're sure you don't mind picking Trevor up from his grandparents' house next Friday and having him stay the night with you guys before we get back?" Erika asked House and Cuddy for what felt like the thousandth time to him once she'd changed out of her wedding dress and into the dress she was now in, set to leave on her honeymoon with Wilson in five minutes time if he could just convince her to get out of here.

"Yeah. We've got it. Now get out of here. Go enjoy your honeymoon. Trevor's got my number if he needs me for anything and everyone who needs to, already knows that I'll be by to pick him up once I get done at work. _Go!_" he pointedly directed, giving Wilson a look to tell him to just get his bride out the door already, House clearly wanting to be free to head for home himself.

Erika laughed but then hugged Cuddy who adjusted Evie in her arms to make the hug possible. Then she turned to House, hugging him and laughing again when he sighed heavily before she pressed a kiss to his cheek and released him.

"Thank you," she said sweetly before reaching for Trevor, wrapping her arms around him and pressing kisses to him until he squirmed away in protest, everyone laughing then.

"Go mom. I'll be fine. Grandma and grandpa have things under control. And I'll be good. I promise," Trevor told her with a grin before moving to hug Wilson.

She smiled but bit her lip worriedly before sighing and turning to take Wilson's hand, casting a glance back at everyone before they headed out the door to a chorus of goodbyes and catcalls.

House watched Trevor walk away with his grandparents, chatting their ears off already, before he adjusted the diaper bag on his shoulder and reached for Rachel who looked about ready to fall asleep standing up and who instantly wrapped herself about him, her head falling against his shoulder.

Cuddy smoothed Rachel's hair back and then placed her hand on House's back, following him out to their car, her mother having already slipped away. She smiled as the limo's taillights disappeared from view and waited until they were walking between cars to cop a feel of House's butt, laughing when he snorted at her move.

"If we didn't have the girls with us…" he muttered without finishing his statement.

"Uh-huh," she replied in agreement, smiling widely once more.

He huffed out a breath but pressed a quick kiss to her mouth half a minute later when she opened the backseat door for him so that he could put Rachel in the car. Then she walked around to put Evie in her car seat as well, biting her lip when House opened her door for her just as she finished buckling Evie in, House kissing her again before smiling at her lopsidedly, allowing her to climb within before shutting her car door behind her.

Cuddy sighed out a breath, watching him as he walked around the front of the car to get in the driver's seat, and waited only until he'd pulled out before taking his hand in hers.

* * *

"_**My love  
There's only you in my life  
The only thing that's right  
Oh yeah**_

_**My first love (yeah)**_  
_**You're every breath that I take**_  
_**You're every step I make**_

_**(Oh)**_  
_**And I**_  
_**(And I)**_  
_**I want to share**_  
_**All my love with you, hey yeah**_  
_**No one else will do (mmm)**_  
_**And your eyes (your eyes, your eyes)**_  
_**They tell me how much you care**_  
_**Oh, yes**_  
_**You will always be**_  
_**My endless love**_  
_**Oh yeah**_

_**Two hearts**_  
_**Two hearts that beat as one**_  
_**Our lives have just begun**_  
_**And forever (forever)**_  
_**I'll hold you close in my arms**_  
_**I can't resist your charms**_  
_**No, no, no, no (no, no, no)**_

_**And I**_  
_**(And I)**_  
_**I'll be a fool**_  
_**For you, I'm sure**_  
_**You know I don't mind (no, you know I don't mind)**_  
_**'Cause baby you (baby, baby, baby, baby)**_  
_**You mean the world to me, yeah**_  
_**I know I've found in you**_  
_**My endless love**_

_**Yeah (yeah)**_

_**Whooooa**_  
_**And I**_  
_**I'll play the fool**_  
_**For you, (for you baby) I'm sure**_  
_**That you know I don't mind (you know I don't mind)**_  
_**Oh, yeah, yeah, yes**_  
_**You'd be the only one**_  
_**'Cause no one can't deny**_  
_**This love I have inside**_  
_**And I'll give it all to you**_  
_**My love (my love, my love)**_  
_**My my my**_  
_**My endless love**_

_**Mmm**_  
_**My love"**_

* * *

Song: Endless Love (Mariah Carey and Luther Vandross)


	125. You Got What I Need

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(Originally this was intended to be the epilogue but... an idea came to mind and I couldn't let it go. I had to write it. SO this is the second to last chapter. I hope you enjoy it!)_

* * *

November 28th, 2013

House swung an _almost_ five year old Rachel up over his shoulder and onto his back. She was still such a lightweight, making such maneuvers possible. Three year old Evie who was a bit more solidly built and quickly gaining on her older sister in the height department, gave Rachel a moment to lock onto their daddy before she launched herself off the couch and into his arms. House cradled her almost like a baby though she wasn't one anymore and constantly reminded him of that. Usually she preferred to wrap her little body around his waist, clinging to him like a little monkey, but with Rachel on too, that was impossible.

House adjusted his hold on her and waited for Rachel to relax her grip, releasing him from her chokehold slightly, before he then motioned for both of them to be quiet for their sneak attack on mommy. Cuddy was in the kitchen and he could just make out the sound of the dishes that didn't fit in the dishwasher getting washed in the sink as she tried to clean up from breakfast and dinner preparations. He had promised her a few moments of peace after eleven month old Lily was settled in for her nap so that she could get things cleaned up before her parents, his mom, and Henry too, showed up to celebrate Thanksgiving with them, David unable to join his mother this time as he was celebrating Thanksgiving with his kids. Wilson and Erika were also set to come over with Trevor and their thirteen month old daughter, Adelaide, though they'd probably be a little late due to having Thanksgiving brunch with Trevor's grandparents this morning. Cameron and Chase had also been invited, along with two and a half year old Elliot and five month old Isabella, but they'd already had plans to spend Thanksgiving with Chase's side of the family and so would not be able to make it.

The turkey had been in the oven for several hours already and from the smells coming from the kitchen it was well on its way to being ready, along with the sweet potatoes and the stuffed mushrooms that they'd only just put in.

Once the giggling had stopped off they went, House stalking towards Cuddy like a lion on prowl, slinking along so as to not lose his equilibrium considering the unpredictability of his kids, Evie specifically, and the extra strain on his leg. Cuddy's back was towards them so he knew she wouldn't see them coming and she had music faintly playing which would hopefully cover up for any noise they made in approaching her. But he could tell Evie was about to give them away with a giggle if he didn't find a way to keep her quiet. House lowered his head, giving her a pointed look, and Rachel, having also noticed Evie's struggle from over House's shoulder, did her part by relaxing her hold on daddy's neck even more for a moment, reaching out a hand and pressing a finger to House's mouth before latching back on.

Evie's eyes grew wide but she had gotten the message. Her own hand clamped down on her mouth, her eyes shining brightly with glee. Situation managed, House soundlessly crossed the last few feet needed to bring him to Cuddy. Then he freed a hand and intentionally grabbed her hip, jerking her a bit so as to minimize the chance of disturbing Lily's rest.

Cuddy gasped loudly, her head flying up towards the ceiling, jumping practically out of her skin and sending the dish she'd been washing clattering noisily back into the sink, covering for the muffled giggles of the girls.

"_House! You are a dead man!"_ Cuddy exclaimed without even turning around, still trying to slow the racing of her heart.

"I'm counting on being punished," he whispered suggestively into her ear then, right before his teeth found her neck and he bit down, unable to resist what tempted him momentarily, causing Cuddy to moan and drop her head back onto his shoulder.

Unfortunately, or so it seemed to House, her head bumped into Rachel's, causing Rachel to giggle louder, which in turn led to Evie squirming around against him and giggling too.

Now that she knew her daughters were present Cuddy didn't seem all that inclined to enjoy his attention further. House sighed dramatically as she straightened and turned around to face the trio, stepping back to allow her to.

"You are all in such big trouble!" she warned them, her hands on her hips though a smile tugged at her lips all the same.

Evie shrieked, squirming to get away, but Rachel just laughed and let go of House, dropping down his back until she landed on her feet. "Come on, Evie! Let's go play!" Rachel called out as she darted away.

"Don't wake your sister!" Cuddy called after her while House set a wiggling Evie down on the floor after blowing raspberries on her belly. Then they both watched her charge off after her big sister, giggling happily, black curls flying, Cookie Monster happily tagging along after them, tail wagging.

"Now where were we?" House inquired hopefully, directing his attention back to Cuddy.

But she just turned back to the sink, retrieving the dish she'd been in the middle of washing before she'd been disturbed. "I was washing dishes," she told him, seemingly annoyed. _"You_ were supposed to be distracting the girls."

"I did distract the girls," he informed her seriously before his voice turned seductive. "But now I want to distract their mommy."

Reaching for Cuddy he possessively squeezed her derriere in the way he knew she secretly loved before sliding his hands up to her hips, stepping up to her then until there was no space between her back and his chest. He wrapped his left arm around her waist then and used his right hand to move the hair off her neck and to the side, allowing him to bring his mouth back down, biting once more on the exposed skin below her ear.

"House, behave," she warned, trying her best to hold to her refusal to be distracted this time, even as her eyes fluttered shut and her breathing caught. Trying to keep her wits about her, she put the dish aside and reached for a cup as she searched for something to say to distract him. And then her eyes grew wide as she knew just what she'd say. With company coming, especially their parents, it was the perfect moment.

"Remember how the doctor told me I'm premenopausal?" she asked him after a pause, a smile forming on her lips shortly thereafter.

"Your dirty talk needs work," he informed her dryly.

"House," she murmured in rebuke, apparently wanting him to take her seriously.

"Uh-huh," he mumbled against her skin then, his right hand sliding her shirt to the side and off her shoulder to trail kisses there, refusing to pause to hear what she had to say.

"Well, it turns out your _boys_ weren't going to go down without a fight," she quipped, turning her head to the side to try and catch his expression.

House straightened, pulling back and out of her line of sight just in time in the process. He knew what she was telling him but he was trying to get control of his expression before she could get a read on him, not to mention figure out how he was going to respond.

"House?" Cuddy asked after a moment, not moving from her spot though she was suddenly nervous about how he'd reacted to the news. She worried her lip between her teeth but waited, holding her breath.

"You better give me a son this time," he sternly said then, keeping his voice controlled to mask his amusement as he aimed for shock value in order to sidetrack her. "I need a namesake."

Cuddy straightened her posture, her shoulders coming back. Her eyebrows knitted together and she craned her neck to try and make eye contact with him but he was directly behind her now and she couldn't. House realized that she was trying to see him and, afraid that she'd move out of his embrace shortly, stepped back in. He had every intention of picking back up where they had left off once she failed with her attempt at a diversion, even as good of a diversion as it was.

"But you love having three daughters," Cuddy murmured in confusion, trying to decipher the look in his eyes once she could see him again.

Failing to read him however, she frowned. She thought of their graceful, ultra-feminine Rachel, her brown hair so like House's had once been and grey-blue eyes so like Cuddy's that people never knew she was adopted until Rachel herself proudly declared it. She thought of their tomboyish Evie with Cuddy's dark curls and House's blue eyes, always such a daddy's girl, happily trailing him around at work. And then she thought of their extremely bashful Lily, Evie's mini me in appearance only, almost a year old already, clearly adored by all, the apple of House's eye and his littlest princess. Cuddy didn't doubt each of them had House wrapped around their little fingers, but somehow the fact that they'd eagerly awaited Lily's arrival, the both of them united in their anticipation of her birth and finally one hundred percent in love with one another, had made her entrance into the family seem like such an extra special blessing, completing their family beyond understanding.

She remembered the day Lily had been born, shortly after Christmas as House had predicted her due date to fall before she'd ever had a doctor confirm his guess. Cuddy had wanted to keep the baby's sex a surprise, with not even them knowing, and House, convinced it was a girl anyway, had gone along with her request, a task that had proven nearly impossible in both of them being doctors, short of some quick thinking by her doctor and the care he'd taken to never let them see anything on the monitor that might tell them the sex. As House _had_ been certain she'd be a girl, right from day one, _Cuddy_ had argued just to argue with him that it would surely be a boy this time. That day when Lilabeth was born, House's expression had been one of contentment upon having Lily placed into his arms, rather than smugness, not because he'd been right but because he had another little girl. Or so Cuddy had thought. Now she had to wonder: could she have misread his expression? Had he secretly hoped to be proven wrong and to have a boy instead?

"You're happy being daddy to three little girls, aren't you?" she asked then, suddenly unsure and doubting herself.

House smiled before bringing his lips to the skin near her collarbone. "I am," he reassured her before biting her playfully and then soothing the bite with his tongue. "I'd welcome another girl in a heartbeat," he added, "though I have no clue at the moment what we'd name her."

Honestly, he'd _prefer _a girl. He just hadn't known what else to say to get her mind off his lack of an immediate reaction. Now he hoped she'd shift into thinking about potential names.

"We have time to figure that out," Cuddy murmured dismissively, relaxing in his arms. But a moment later she shook her head, still trying to make sense of his behavior rather than focusing on what House _wanted _her to focus on now. And then her lips pursed and she exhaled a frustrated breath. "You knew, didn't you? You knew I was pregnant."

Giving up House laughed against her collarbone, his breath causing goosebumps to form and a shiver to run its course through her body.

"I hate you, House," she muttered then, irritated that he was always the first one to know when she was pregnant.

"No you don't," he murmured, nibbling her while his hand came around to trace the collar of her shirt teasingly, his other hand wrapping around her before slipping under her shirt to trace circles on her still flat belly.

"Why didn't you say something if you knew?" she asked him, her eyes narrowing as she grumpily turned her head away and halfheartedly tried to shrug him off her even while the desire to have him, which honestly just never seemed to abate, began building up again due to his touch.

He held her still so that she couldn't move before he nuzzled her neck again. "You get mad when I know first," he said simply. "I understood with Evie but you were irritated with me the second time round when I told you that you were pregnant with Lily. You didn't believe me at first, anyway. So I thought maybe you'd like it better this time if I allowed you to figure it out on your own. I figured that way you'd believe _yourself_ and save me the trouble of once more convincing you I wasn't just imagining things. Especially as this time you had a new argument in what your doctor had already told you."

"But how do you always know?" she asked him, more of a demand for an explanation than a request. "I'm only seven weeks along this time and my period has been hit or miss the last few months anyway."

"Cuddles, I just know your body better than you do," House casually informed her. "I pay it _very_ close attention."

He fell silent for a moment, trying to gauge her mood before he then tauntingly whispered, "Plus I love to prove you wrong. When you tell me something is impossible, like getting you pregnant for example, the first thing I want to do is show you just how wrong you are. And it just so happens I also get confirmation that I've succeeded in knocking you up when your hormones prove to be out of control the minute my sperm penetrate your eggs. Then it's hard to keep you off me from the moment you're pregnant to the moment you go into labor. In fact, I think you only went into labor with Lily because we were going at it like rabbits that week, regardless of just how pregnant you were at the time."

Cuddy protested immediately, moving about dramatically in his arms. "That's not true!" she testily asserted. "I was a day away from my due date anyway."

House refused to release her. "It is true," he announced before suggestively adding, "_And I like it!_"

She stilled, no longer fighting to break free but pouting over what he had said before.

He raised an eyebrow, eyeing her profile. "Are you going to try and ignore me now?" he asked then, his left hand on her belly but his right hand massaging her shoulder gently.

"I don't have to try," she sulked. "It requires no effort."

Yet when House's hand slipped higher up her shirt and began sliding up her belly towards her breasts, his teeth nipping once again at her neck, she could no longer ignore him. She dropped the cup she had been holding for the duration of the conversation after finishing with the plate, back into the soapy water, her head falling back on his shoulder once again as her hands slipped behind them to clutch at his butt, drawing him even closer so that she was trapped between the counter and him, House beginning to rock into her, bumping her repeatedly against the counter edge, heat pooling in her belly as a response.

Cuddy moaned as his hand slipped even higher and under her bra.

"House, don't," she breathed out a few seconds later as he was sucking below her ear now and she knew he'd leave a mark if he didn't break the connection immediately. That was all she needed on Thanksgiving, especially with _her_ parents coming.

"I can't help it," he mumbled, nuzzling her with his nose. "You taste _so_ good. I can't get enough. And if you'll just slip away with me for a few minutes I'll prove how much I love how you taste."

"My parents are on their way," she reminded him breathily, though she was leaning into his caress, her eyes shut in pleasure, her hands kneading his ass now.

"We've got time," he whispered, his hand massaging her breast as he pressed himself even more intimately against her from behind, physically demonstrating to her how much he wanted her and how ready he was to take her even now, no wait required.

"We had time this morning," Cuddy whimpered, his hand having moved to her other breast to lavish equal attention on it.

"Are you complaining? Twice in one day is suddenly too much?" House asked skeptically, his hand stilling but remaining where it was. "Since when?"

"You know that's not what I'm saying," she admonished before leaning her upper body even more into his caress while rotating her hips to rub against him. "Don't stop," she added in a plea to further convince him she didn't want it to end yet, able to hear the girls in the living room and not _too _concerned about them walking in on something, just yet anyway, because of it.

"That's better," he growled, his hand teasing her nipple while his teeth trailed back to her collarbone.

"Do we have time? Are you sure?" she murmured a second later, her breathing quickly becoming more rapid. "What about Evie? You know it has always proven a bad idea to leave her unsupervised."

House removed his hand from her bra as he stepped back from her and Cuddy was about to protest as her hands fell back to her sides when his hands settled on her waist, spinning her around in his arms.

"We'll _make_ time," he informed her, his eyes heatedly meeting hers. "And Evie will be fine. Little mama's with her. She'll keep her out of trouble."

She reached for him then, hoping briefly he was right and also that the girls would keep themselves occupied elsewhere while wrapping her arms around his neck as he leaned down to kiss her as if it was the last kiss they'd ever share, one of her legs already drawing up against the outside of his thigh before House moved a hand to wrap his fingers around it, holding it there as he rocked into her again.

Maybe they needed to slip into the pantry like they had last time. Or take it into the garage. No, the laundry room was closer than that. But before she could suggest it House picked Cuddy up altogether, lifted her onto the counter, settling himself between her knees without ever breaking the kiss, their tongues entangling and teeth nipping eagerly in turn once Cuddy was pressed right up against him, her legs wrapping automatically around his waist, and when his tongue found its way into her mouth, stroking diligently over every surface within, Cuddy forgot everything else but House and how much she needed him, every single day in every single way.

There was some commotion from the living room, the two girls shrieking happily, but things in the kitchen had heated up and neither Cuddy nor House paid it any attention.

"It's a good thing I grabbed an extra bag of ice," Evelyn said in amusement, having entered the kitchen. "It looks like it will be needed to cool things down a bit."

Cuddy broke the kiss the minute she heard her mother's voice, blushing in absolute embarrassment. At least she still had all her clothes on but... _Ugh. _ She hadn't even heard the front door.

_This_ was a good example of when it was a bad thing for her mother to have a key, even if it _was _necessary in her caring for the girls while they worked.

House just groaned at Evelyn and Richard showing up early, rubbing a hand over his face in frustration as Cuddy quickly dropped her legs from around him and pushed him away to hop down from the countertop. She looked at him, laughing then, before turning back to her mother as House tried to regain control of himself, continuing to face the counter. "You're early," he grumpily mumbled from over his shoulder, giving Evelyn a dirty look.

She laughed before sarcastically replying, "I've missed you too."

"Where's dad?" Cuddy asked after glaring House's way, pressing a kiss to her mother's cheek then, her mother showing up having an effect similar to cold water being doused on her head.

"With the girls," Evelyn informed her before placing a bag on the table and beginning to unpack the rolls, pies, mashed potatoes and gravy so that she could reheat the final two items in the oven quickly. "That's probably a good thing, giving the display I walked in upon."

House scowled but then reached for Cuddy, muttering, "Where do you think _you_ are going?"

But she dodged him easily, casting him a teasing glance as she headed in the direction of the living room, swaying her hips the way she knew most drove him crazy. "I'm going to greet my dad, House."

"And then get your butt back in here," he told her pointedly. "I need you."

"House, it's over. You'll have to wait," she dryly informed him, stopping to look back at him, roll her eyes and shake her head, getting over what her mother had walked in on as it… well, wasn't exactly the first time this had happened to them since her mom had begun caring for the girls while they worked.

Evelyn looked from one to the other. "I can keep an eye on the girls," she volunteered, smiling from ear to ear. "I take it Lily is sleeping? If she wakes up anytime soon I can get her and change her diaper while I'm at it."

"Grandma Cuddles, have I told you lately that I love you?" House asked seriously, pulling her into a hug as she laughed at his enthusiasm.

"Nice try, House," Cuddy muttered, crossing her arms before glaring at her mother who had moved to the oven to verify there was room for her mashed potatoes. "And you! Quit encouraging him!"

"You have to obey your mother, Cuddles," House admonished her, shaking a finger while taking a few steps in her direction. "Isn't that what you always get after me about to tell the girls when they argue with you?"

"House," she said, her tone stern, one arm out to ward him off. "You aren't going to win this round."

"Don't be mouthy Cuddy. I'd hate to have to take you over my knee and spank you," he told her smugly before moving quickly, grabbing her wrist and pulling her back into his arms, one hand squeezing her butt in the process.

"_House!_ My mother is right here in the room with us! Stop it!" Cuddy exclaimed, mortified. She tried to break loose from him, but he held on tight, chuckling as she squirmed.

"You think your father hasn't ever spanked me?" Evelyn asked then, turning to look at them while enjoying her daughter's discomfort at the subject. She couldn't see where House's hand was, so any discomfort Cuddy might have been reflecting in that went unnoticed, though if she had thought about it she would have quickly figured it out.

"_Mother! Gross! Please!"_ Cuddy declared in horror, forgetting what House was up to after hearing what her mother had said. "That's just…_ughhhh,"_ she finished, cringing.

House laughed and then pressed a kiss to Cuddy's lips, catching her off-guard.

"House, I mean it," she said a second later, licking her lips unconsciously before planting her hands on his chest to hold him at bay despite her own eyes now being locked on his lips. "Let go of me. This isn't going anywhere. You aren't going to win."

He groaned but looked over at Evelyn, a smirk quickly forming on his face in response to the look on her own. "What do you think, Grandma Cuddles? Am I going to win?"

She rolled her eyes. "Greg, we both know my daughter will cave in the end."

Cuddy's chin dropped. "I am NOT going to cave!"

Evelyn shrugged. "You almost always do," she said as if she wasn't arguing but merely stating a fact.

"Your mother's right, Cuddles," House told her, his hands settling on her waist and stroking her skin through her shirt. "You're going to cave. You can't resist me. You might as well accept it."

"Get your hands off me, House!" she protested, elbowing him in irritation and forcing him to relax his hold in the process. "And quit ganging up on me! I am NOT going to do any such thing. I am going to go say hi to my dad and then I am going to take a quick shower while YOU watch the food and make sure nothing burns!"

Cuddy prodded him once more in the chest before backing towards the hallway, House casting a stricken look her way as if he couldn't believe she would reject him.

"But I need a shower too!" he adamantly exclaimed.

"Tough!" she declared smugly, her chin raising a notch. "The stuffed mushrooms need to be taken out in another six minutes and someone has to be around to check on the sweet potatoes as well so they don't burn on top."

Before he could say another word she did a quick about-face and left the room, hips swinging provocatively.

House watched her go, a smile slowly curling up the corners of his mouth. She couldn't possibly think he'd take her seriously now.

Evelyn chuckled then, shaking her head.

"What?" he asked, turning back to her with an eyebrow raised in question. He could faintly hear Cuddy in the other room, greeting her father, despite the fact that the girls kept interrupting time after time to talk over her to their grandpa, this being the first time they'd seen him all week.

"_Please!_ Don't for a minute think I can't read your mind," Evelyn said then, pursing her lips. "I've been around a long time. And I've been watching your girls for you two long enough for me to know how things are."

House laughed. "Believe me, if there's one person whose intelligence I never underestimate, it's you."

She smiled and approached him then, patting his cheek affectionately. "It's always good to see you both so happy. You know that?" she asked him seriously.

"I know," he replied, exhaling contentedly before looking chagrined. "I never thought Cuddy and I would ever be this happy together."

"Well, off with you," she encouraged him. "We'll watch the kids and I can take care of the food for a while so that you can go accost your wife. I'll tell Richard that Lisa's showering while you are… I don't know… changing your clothes or something."

House chuckled skeptically. "He's not going to buy that when I come out with wet hair," he told her dubiously.

"He'll buy it because he will want to buy it," she corrected. "Lisa's still his little girl. Even if she's an adult with three little girls of her own."

House was tempted to amend that statement to four but he caught himself, realizing that Cuddy would kill him if he announced she was pregnant without her even being present. Instead he nodded in agreement with his mother-in-law. Her conclusion was accurate. Richard would buy it rather than acknowledge what he and Cuddy were really up to in their absence. He turned to head for the door, no longer able to hear Cuddy's voice, but then he came to a sudden stop.

"What did you forget?" Evelyn asked him in curiosity while opening the oven to check on the food within, making sure that her daughter hadn't yet thrown marshmallows on top of the sweet potatoes.

House grinned and went to the cupboard, retrieving a plastic cup. He then proceeded to open the door to the freezer, filling the cup with ice from the bag Evelyn had brought with her. "Props," he quipped, meeting her eyes with a smirk.

She shut the oven, her hands flying up to her flaming cheeks as she squeezed her eyes shut. "Gregory House! Now _that's_ too much information," she scolded, straightening back up.

House chuckled, his eyebrows shrugging up and down. "This coming from the woman who suggested we'd need ice to cool down our situation and who then went on to say her husband spanked her," he countered before shaking the cup dramatically and walking out of sight.

Evelyn groaned, mortified. But then she fanned her cheeks a moment before moving to the sink to finish up the dishes her daughter had forgotten, trying not to think about what was about to take place in another part of the house. She only hoped they'd keep it down this time. Because there was only so much she could cover for.

* * *

House shut the bedroom door behind him, locking it before heading towards their private bathroom. He pushed the door open, smiling when he found it unlocked.

The shower was running but Cuddy hadn't gotten in yet. She turned to him, smiling before shrugging her robe off of her shoulders and letting it pool on the floor at her feet. "What took you so long?" she asked, making her way to him completely naked.

House set the cup down on the counter and began unbuttoning his shirt but she brushed his hands away to unbutton it herself, always enjoying the opportunity to undress him. His hands settled on her waist then, drawing her nearer before he brought his head down to meet her lips in an intense kiss. He let go of her momentarily to retrieve an ice cube from the cup behind her, but she was too involved in kissing him to notice this, or the fact that he hadn't answered, her hands now pulling his shirt open and fumbling to slide it off his shoulders hurriedly.

He broke the kiss and shrugged out of his shirt while her hands traced the expanse of his chest before they went to his belt. "I had to get something," he said finally.

Cuddy glanced up at him, puzzled. "What?" she asked, her eyes returning to his pants as she got the belt undone and unzipped his pants, pushing them down his legs, along with his boxers, moaning with expectation at that point.

House stepped out of them and quickly brought the slowly melting ice cube up to run across her collarbone and then down and around her chest, using it to trace circles on her heated skin. "This," he said, enjoying her reaction to the cold ice as she gasped and squirmed.

Cuddy moaned again as the melting ice dripped cold water down her belly but she was impatient now. She wasted not a moment pulling him in the direction of the shower, her hands locked on his biceps. "We've got to be fast House," she sternly told him then. "I mean it."

He met her fevered eyes with a heated look of his own, making her swallow hard as he followed her lead, though he did not fail to retrieve the cup from where he had set it before it was beyond his reach, bringing it into the shower with them. "I can do that," he promised with a smug smirk.

* * *

House succeeded at catching Cuddy's eye and wiggled his eyebrows at her, a smirk curling up the corners of his mouth as he waited for her response.

She paused midsentence and then smiled, dipping her head just slightly in permission before returning her gaze to Erika and finishing what she was saying, Erika looking back and forth between her and House momentarily, her own eyebrow raised in curiosity before concentrating on the conversation they were in the middle of.

"Evie did that?" she asked disbelievingly before throwing a grateful smile at Trevor for passing Addie her sippy cup when she reached for it, opening and closing her hand until it was given to her, then beaming at her big brother before popping it in her mouth and sucking away noisily. "What am I saying?" she self-admonished a second later. _"Of course_ Evie did that."

Cuddy laughed but looked at her middle daughter who beamed up at her from where she sat to her left, knowing she was being talked about and enjoying the attention she was receiving in everyone around the table shooting amused looks her way as they continued eating.

Cuddy's eyes briefly went to Lily who was happily accepting spoonfuls of mashed potatoes from her grandma where she sat across the table from her mommy in her highchair, between Evelyn and House, who was seated at Cuddy's right at the end of the table. She shook her head in ire but replied, "Yeah. You'd think by now I'd know to keep a better eye on everything she does but I was focused on placing everything in our grocery cart up on the counter to be scanned as quick as possible so that I could get the girls home for their nap, and Rachel, who usually lets me know when Evie's getting into mischief if it goes unnoticed by me or House, wasn't with us because she'd asked to stay home with daddy. Meanwhile Lily is sitting sweet as can be in the baby seat, utterly content as always and not at all bothered by her sister shoving candy bars and gum packs into the seat with her, trying to hide them under her if she can manage to. And she'd have gotten away with it too, at least, she _would have _up until we got out to the car, but the cashier asked me if I intended to actually buy the candy my daughter was attempting to smuggle out of the store, once she'd scanned everything else. Don't get me wrong. She was very kind about it. And she'd seen the whole thing and didn't say anything right away, probably because she was too entertained by it. Evie, apparently, had her eyes on me the whole time because the cashier said she was a smart cookie for waiting until I turned away before grabbing something off the shelf, sticking it behind her back before I turned back towards her, and then waiting until I next turned to place something else on the counter, to hide it with Lily but… Let's just say Evie was _not _happy with me when I made her return everything she'd taken to where it belonged and then apologize to the cashier. She was especially upset when we came home and I made her tell daddy what she'd done."

Erika's mouth quirked up as she glanced at House, wondering how he'd managed to hold it together while hearing _that _confession, before her eyes fell on Evie who clearly knew what they were talking about because she was now pouting somewhat unhappily. Erika struggled to keep from smiling because of that, quickly looking away.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," Wilson wryly quipped with a pointed look at House, his mouth pursing.

House chuckled, knowing that was true, at least in regards to Evie. So far she was the kid to really give them a run for their money. But she was also very sensitive when it came to getting into trouble, which was _not _so like him. Yes, she tested boundaries _all the time, _but he was fairly certain it was because she wanted to know where the line was drawn, more than anything else. It didn't make sense to him to attribute it to anything else, because she wasn't ever _malicious, _and because when they were upset with her, _especially _when _he was _for whatever reason_, _for Evie that was like the world coming to an end. It made it all the harder for him to get after her though, which was where _he _often got in trouble with Cuddy.

Rachel was near perfect and if she got in trouble it was usually because she was pushing the line of bossiness, having a tendency to play little mama to her siblings and sometimes take it too far. If she got in trouble then she almost always just took it in stride, never really needing more than a look or brief rebuke to adjust her behavior because unless she was really tired, she just lacked any inclination to push things. And Lily well… she was a different bird altogether, very much resembling Evie in appearance but in behavior much more like Rachel, though she was shyer than either of her siblings and he and Cuddy were still trying to figure out what she'd be like in a couple years' time. But Evie… If she thought someone important to her was _really_ upset with her, she'd be practically traumatized by it, at least for the hour or two to follow, which was partly why Cuddy could share this story without worrying that Evie would take it as encouragement or approval. Evie… knew when she'd done something that carried with it a certain level of amusement in the retelling, but… she never forgot the aftermath of moments that led to her being scolded or punished. Oddly, that didn't mean she shied away from testing the _next_ boundary. And that was why he thought it was more of a security thing, Evie wanting to know there _were _limits, rather than her just looking to be naughty for the heck of it, though she was perfectly capable of that too.

Briefly he wondered if he had been more like that and would have remained that way, had he not known fairly quickly as a kid that his dad would never give him his approval. But then he got distracted because his mother was telling a story about when he was little and had gotten caught stealing a piece of candy from the convenience store just off base. He rolled his eyes when everyone looked his way but smirked all the same.

"He was a cheeky kid too," Henry interjected then, shaking his head as he wiped his hands on his napkin before reaching for his glass to take a drink, everyone's eyes now on him where he sat between Richard and Wilson. "That was one of my favorite parts of running into him around base. I never knew what was going to come out of his mouth. Even just going for ice cream… It amused me no end the things he would think of and the responses he'd give you when you asked him what could have been a simple yes or no answer."

"Oh, and the excuses he could come up with for the naughty things he tried to pull off," Blythe murmured in pronounced bewilderment while shaking her head. "Even as a toddler..."

"I have no problem imagining that," Erika said teasingly, sending another glance his way.

House rolled his eyes again, his smirk appearing permanently etched in his face when Cuddy too stole a look his way, her mouth quirking to the side.

"Yeah. There's no question where Evie gets it," she dryly commented.

"Mommy, I'm done," Evie spoke up to inform her. "Can I have some ice cream now?"

"In a little bit," she responded, Evie immediately pouting over having to wait.

"Mommy, I don't want pie. Can I have cookies instead?" Rachel asked next, looking up at her hopefully.

The majority of the table chuckled because they could have predicted what Rachel would request instead of wanting what the adults were having.

"Yes Rachel," Cuddy agreed with a nod and an affectionate smile that grew when her oldest beamed in response.

"Gramma, you get me some ice cream?" Evie asked Blythe sweetly.

"_Evie," _Cuddy rebuked. "You need to be patient."

"I'll get you some ice cream just as soon as your mother says it's time, Georgia," Blythe reassured her, reaching out to pat her arm comfortingly.

Evie's pout grew and she turned her blue eyes on Evelyn as if she was her last hope. "Gramma?" she murmured only, her pout fixed upon her little face.

"_Evie!" _Cuddy scolded, scoffing before shaking her head at her daughter's determination.

Evelyn bit her lip so as to avoid laughing. "Well, if there's one thing our little imp knows, it's how hard it is for everyone to resist giving in," she commented then.

"She's going to be the one to drive me crazy," Cuddy agreed in amusement, giving House a look before adding wryly, "So like her daddy."

"Well, let's hope baby number four doesn't take after me then," he quipped before looking away, his gaze landing back on Lily as he gave her a small piece of his roll.

A collective silence fell around the table and then Evelyn let out a breathy laugh while everyone else turned wide eyes upon Cuddy since House wasn't looking at anyone in particular now.

Cuddy shot him a look and laughed before rolling her eyes at him. "That's one way of sharing our news, I guess," she murmured dryly.

"You're pregnant, Lisa?" Blythe was the first to ask, looking very pleased.

"We're going to have a baby?" Rachel piped up to inquire a second later, her eyes bright before she received a nod from her mommy and then looked at Evie immediately afterward. "We're going to have another baby Evie! _Another one! _ Maybe this time we'll have a baby brother!"

Evie beamed, distracted from her ice cream now and nodded enthusiastically too, giggling when Rachel did.

"_Again?" _Richard mumbled disbelievingly at almost the same time Rachel spoke up.

Evelyn immediately smacked his arm and he grunted before objecting, "Hey! I was just indicating my surprise. It's _great _news. I'm very happy to know I will be a grandpa again. Don't get me wrong. I just… Four kids! That's... _something._ And don't girls usually go through menopause around the same time their mothers' did? Didn't you go through menopause when you were the age Lisa is now?"

"_Richard," _Evelyn rebuked, absolutely mortified that her husband was talking about this with people outside of their immediate family present, burying her face in her hand.

"_What?_ What'd _I_ do?" he questioned, his forehead wrinkling.

"Yes. _Again," _Cuddy wryly acknowledged after tearing her eyes from her two oldest girls once her dad had fallen silent, sending an indulgent glance at her father even if she'd first cringed in looking her mother's way while several people stifled chuckles at his expense out of respect for Evelyn's embarrassment. "But this will be the _last," _she clarified.

House tut-tutted her chidingly before inquiring with a raised eyebrow, "Is that a challenge?"

She rolled her eyes and breathed out in exasperation before retorting, "House, there are some things even _you _can't do."

He shot her a grin but quipped, _"I don't know. _ According to Jewish and Christian tradition, it wasn't impossible for Abraham. His wife was… what? Ninety when she gave birth?" he concluded, shooting a look Henry's way. "And unlike you, she was barren," he added, looking back at Cuddy. "So really, why should a little thing like menopause stop us?"

Henry laughed but nodded slightly in response to House's look. Wryly, he responded, "That's true; Sarah _was _ninety at the time, though people lived slightly longer back then. But it wasn't Abraham's doing as much as God's. He had a plan to bless the whole earth through Abraham's descendants and so _He _made it possible. Somehow I'm not so sure your desire to rise to the occasion and accept Lisa's challenge would qualify as a reason for Him to do the same for you," he concluded in amusement.

"In any case, four is plenty House," Cuddy muttered with a significant look.

House snorted but held his tongue, not about to argue that one.

Mildly entertained, several heads shook back and forth while others just rolled their eyes but Erika was quick to return the focus back to Cuddy by inquiring, "When are you due, Lisa?"

"Mid-July," she answered with a smile.

Wilson and Erika exchanged a look and House, who was in the middle of springing Lily from her confinement in her highchair, raised an eyebrow in response.

Erika bit her lip but then mused, "So you're… seven weeks along, more or less?"

"Yes," Cuddy confirmed with a nod.

House straightened in his chair, Lily now against his chest, and then drolly asked, "Why? How far along are _you?"_

Erika's eyes widened slightly but she admitted after a beat, "Only about four weeks. What gave me away?"

"The fact that you didn't have to take any time to calculate how many weeks she's at," he pointed out dryly before she nodded as if to say he had a point.

Then everyone was congratulating pretty much everyone else and House rolled his eyes at the look of pride on Wilson's face. His eyes flicked to Addie then who looked exactly like her mother but with Wilson's hair shade. She'd turned a year old on October 12th, making her roughly two and a half months older than Lily, who would be one on December 27th. The gap between their next set of offspring would be even smaller.

"Maybe we should convince Cameron and Chase to get pregnant now too," Erika joked.

"She's pretty adamant that two is all they want," Cuddy replied dryly, though she smiled in amusement at the thought.

"No thank you," House muttered, his eyes narrowing.

"_Hey!" _Erika admonished, shooting him a fake glare. "We weren't _that _bad."

"Uh-huh," he muttered, his tone reflecting just how unconvinced he was of that being at all true.

"Will you smack him for me?" Erika asked of Cuddy.

She laughed but did exactly that, receiving a mock glare from House then for her compliance.

"_Well,_" Evelyn spoke up to say. "I think this news deserves a toast!"

"I agree," Blythe interjected.

Evelyn shot a look at her husband but then pursed her mouth before redirecting her gaze to Henry. "Since my husband seems to be having a hard time keeping his foot out of his mouth today, would you do the honors?" she inquired.

Richard gave her a dirty look but she just ignored him and Henry bobbed his head in agreement before raising his glass, toasting both Wilson and Erika and House and Cuddy, in turn.

House passed Lily to Cuddy after getting to his feet before tussling Evie's unruly curls when she looked up at him from where she sat, her little head falling back to stare at him upside down rather than turning to face him.

"You gettin' me some ice cream daddy?" she asked a moment before she scrambled down from her chair to follow him, Cuddy sighing and Erika laughing in the background as House swung Evie up in his arms when she ran after him.

"Sure kid," he agreed, his smirk growing when she immediately wrapped her little arms around his neck and started kissing his cheek enthusiastically at the confirmation of his intentions to let her now have what she so obviously wanted.

"Just don't let me forget your sister's cookies," he told her then to give her something else to focus on so she wouldn't be impatiently awaiting her ice cream while he dished it up.

"I won't," she promised. "I'll remember."

He set her down on the counter beside the cupboard with the bowls and then reached to remove one so that she wouldn't take it upon herself to stand on the counter and get one while he was off getting her ice cream from the freezer. This he'd learned from experience, being that she'd broken several bowls once that way, scaring the crap out of him as his back had been turned. He rolled his eyes at the lecture he'd gotten from Cuddy _that _day.

"Don't move," he instructed solemnly, waiting until she nodded her head in agreement before he pulled out a spoon for her and handed it to her, only then moving to get the ice cream.

Cuddy, Erika, Blythe and Evelyn began to clear the table, entering the kitchen with dirty plates and serving dishes just as House set aside the ice cream and lifted Evie up off the counter before setting her down on the floor.

"Rachel's cookies, daddy," she reminded him then as she hopped about beside him, curls bouncing.

He nodded and grabbed her bowl of ice cream before retrieving some cookies for Rachel, as well as the container of baby biscuits Cuddy had for Lily. Evie hopped, skipped and jumped her way back to the table, narrowly averting a disaster when she almost ran into Henry who had gotten up to help the women clear the table, Wilson and Richard occupied with babies in their laps. She dodged to the side even as he let out a "Whoa!" and Henry shook his head, grinning at House before he continued towards the kitchen, the women admonishing him for helping when they had it covered and it was therefore unnecessary.

House passed Rachel a stack of cookies once back at the table while extending the container of baby biscuits Wilson's way in case Addie would like one.

"Thank you daddy," Rachel sweetly murmured up to him.

"Thank you daddy," Evie echoed after climbing back up in her own chair, but with an impish smile on her mouth as she practically pulled the bowl of ice cream from his hands, plunking it down before her, the spoon clattering against the bowl before she swooped it up to plop some ice cream in her mouth.

House rolled his eyes when Wilson chuckled but took the container of baby biscuits back from him before holding it out towards Richard.

He grabbed a baby biscuit out and then offered it to Lily, who took it readily and started gnawing away on it contentedly.

House set the container down and then directed his gaze to Trevor. "What would you like?" he asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"Ice cream," Trevor informed him with a grin, still working on finishing what was on his plate. "But with a _big _piece of apple pie."

House smirked and nodded before heading back into the kitchen to take care of Trevor. He rolled his eyes when he found the women already busily washing dishes while talking about Addie and Lily and the babies to come.

Cuddy stepped towards him when he reached the counter, removing a dessert plate from the stack she'd pulled down and set beside the pies on the counter. She leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek, getting a wry look in response.

"Thank you," she murmured with an accompanying smile.

"Yeah," he muttered dismissively as he reached for a spoon to dish up Trevor's ice cream while Cuddy turned back to the other women.

Sometime later the adults were once more seated around the table, eating dessert while Rachel and Evie headed off to play, Trevor scoring himself points as he sat beside Addie who was back in her highchair, entertaining her while the adults talked.

House looked up when Rachel came running back into the room, Evie tailing her.

"Grampa Henry, will you play with us?" she asked Henry from where she'd come to a stop beside his chair, staring up at him hopefully, him being the only adult to have already finished his dessert.

"Rachel," Cuddy began.

"No. It's fine," Henry dismissed, setting aside his napkin before pushing his chair back to go with Rachel and Evie who happily took his hands and led him away.

Cuddy shot a chagrined look at House, clearly feeling bad that Henry had been pulled away from the table, but he just shrugged. A few minutes later he got up to go check on the girls after Cuddy nudged him to have him make sure Henry knew he didn't _have_ to play with them and blinked when he found Henry down on the floor with them in the living room, drinking pretend tea from a child's teacup. Evie was pouting and he didn't have to guess at why. Clearly Rachel had won out in what she'd wanted to do, that being rather obviously having a tea party, since she had her tea set spread out before them, each with a cup, plate and play croissant, the teapot on its platter near Rachel so that she could serve them more.

Henry looked up at him then and House offered him a wry smile before mumbling, "Cuddy wants to be sure that you know you don't _have _to watch them."

"Oh grampa, don't go!" Rachel immediately pleaded. "Evie won't play tea party with me if you're not here playing too."

"No worries Rachel," Henry was quick to say, already lifting his teacup back up towards his mouth. "I haven't finished my tea yet."

Rachel beamed at him and even Evie reached for her teacup then, pretending to take a drink. "Mmm. This is really good tea, Rachel," she remarked, shooting her sister a big smile as she nodded enthusiastically. "It tastes like… Kool-Aid," she concluded.

"Evie, it's _tea, _like the kind mommy drinks," Rachel countered pointedly.

"Mine tastes a bit like Kool-Aid too," Henry said then, smiling at Evie before winking Rachel's way so that both girls were happy.

House shook his head but turned to make his escape.

"Daddy, do _you _want some tea?" Rachel asked before he could leave.

House cringed as he came to a stop and turned to look back at Rachel. "Maybe later," he told her. "Right now I have to… help mommy with Lily."

"Okay," she agreed easily before directing her attention back to her grandpa Henry. "Do you want a cookie? I have some," House heard her say as he left the room.

"That sounds great," Henry agreed in turn.

Cuddy shot House an enquiring look as he came back to the table. He reached to take Lily from Richard, freeing him to finish his pie, and then headed around the table, coming to a stop beside Cuddy, hefting Lily up against him before his free hand crept under Cuddy's hair to stroke the back of her neck absently. "He's fine. Rachel's hosting a tea party. He said he hasn't finished his tea yet," he mumbled dryly with a smirk.

She shot a grin up at him but then readjusted her posture so that he could continue what he was doing, House rolling his eyes but making no move to stop.

"So Greg, are you hoping for a boy this time?" Evelyn asked him then, looking up at him expectantly as she awaited his answer, everyone else looking his way as well.

He pursed his mouth wryly before muttering, "I don't even know what I'd do with a boy. No. Give me another girl."

"Boys are supposed to be easier," Blythe inserted.

House gave her a pointed look and she laughed before asserting, "Well, you might have been a handful growing up but… I had no complaints."

"I think you should have a boy," Trevor volunteered with a shrug. "There's a _lot _of girls around here now."

"I'll take that into consideration," House dryly quipped, Erika laughing at him.

"_I'm _hoping for a brother this time," Trevor added with another shrug.

Wilson reached out to rifle Trevor's hair and Trevor turned his head to shoot him a grin then.

"I'm hoping for a boy too," Cuddy told Trevor, smiling his way before she reached up with a hand, indicating that House should take it.

He sighed heavily but removed his hand from her neck and reluctantly placed it in hers, grimacing when Erika shot a smile at him before she leaned more into Wilson, whose arm was around her on the back of her chair.

"I'm wondering if this third one will be my troublemaker," Erika murmured then, glancing at Trevor before looking at Addie. "Trevor was an easy baby too. I'm… probably overdue for one who isn't."

"They do say each one's different," Blythe said a second later.

Cuddy bit her lip and looked up at House, smiling. "What do you think this one will be like if that's the case?" she asked him with an eyebrow raised.

"I have no idea," he wryly stated. "Maybe on second thought, I'm too _old _to have another kid."

She laughed but shook her head. "It's a little too late now," she murmured before reassuring, "We'll get through it House, no matter what this baby turns out to be like. We'll get through it together."

He made a face but then his mouth twitched. Ignoring the eyes upon him he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "If you say so," he mumbled finally.

* * *

"_**Baby you, you got what I need  
Baby you, you got my sunshine  
Baby you, you got what I need  
Baby you, you got my sunshine**_

**_When I see you it's a beautiful world_**  
**_But when you're gone_**

**_I want you in my arms  
I'm telling you the last time_**

**_Baby you, you got what I need_**  
**_Baby you, you got my sunshine_**

**_Every night I notice you're all alone_**  
**_Wonder you might_**  
**_Let me love you, I'm on fire_**  
**_Can't you feel my desire?_**  
**_I wanna take you higher_**

**_It's the simplest thing_**  
**_It's always so hard to see_**  
**_I want to be_**  
**_The one and only making you feel love_**  
**_Oh darling I need love_**  
**_It's all I can dream of_**

**_Baby you, you got what I need_**  
**_Baby you, you got my sunshine_**  
**_Baby you, you got what I need_**  
**_Baby you, you got my sunshine_**  
**_You got my sunshine"_**

* * *

Song: "You Got What I Need" (Joshua Radin)


	126. Never Going Back Again

Disclaimer: House, M.D. is 100% David Shore's possession.

* * *

_(__It's a really weird feeling to be at this point, the final chapter to this story written and proofed, ready to now be well… READ by you all, knowing I've accomplished what I've set out to, never imagining it would take me as long as it has, nor be as long as this IS._

_I want to thank you all so much for sticking with me and investing your time in reading what started out as a dream I had that I couldn't resist writing down and developing the details of further, quickly growing just… out of control and ending up a bewildering 126 chapters long. A million words later, here we are at the end and I'm still trying to figure out what to say in conclusion._

_Thank you for the song suggestions along the way. I really do typically dislike songfics and yet I ventured down that path anyway, not realizing just how many songs I'd have to come up with that fit reasonably well, so I'm truly grateful for the suggestions some of you offered me, whether I was able to use them or not, as well as for your patience and appreciation for songs that touched you also in a particular way. Thank you to those who caught my spelling mistakes for me, belladionne in particular, so that I could correct them, seeing as errors drive me crazy too. Thank you all for your reviews, your encouragement, your requests for clarification, even your criticisms, especially the constructive ones, as they helped me know where you were at and determine how well I was communicating what I intended to. Thank you for falling in love with the Rachel I wrote, the Evie I made up, and for your affection as well for a handful of other characters dragged into this adventure._

_This might have started out as my getting a dream out of my head and down on paper, but it might not have reached completion if not for those who eagerly hitched themselves onto this crazy wagon train, tagging along on the journey and investing themselves fully in the quest for Huddy happiness. Without you all, I would have perhaps given up a long time ago, once I realized just what I'd taken on in deciding to write out the plotline that was trapped in my head in actual, detailed chapters. A special thank you then to DIYD09 for your lengthy reviews and friendship, not to mention all the encouragement you offered. I have missed you these last 19 chapters but hope someday you check back in and read them, and of course, tell me what you think. :)_

_I have LOVED this act of insanity on my part, even while never sharing it with anyone who knows me, and that in itself is an interesting thing to be able to say. This story is MY version of an epic beginning of sorts to an established Huddy, made up of two characters that were imagined by someone else long before I got my hands on them. They certainly aren't mine and never were, but... I suppose I'm rather fond of how their story progressed in MY world. I hope you too can walk away from this journey, having gained something of value, whether it be the value of not giving up on someone you love, overcoming odds when all is against you, or even the importance of getting back up when you've fallen. Since time began, stories have been told with the storyteller's intention being to teach us something, right? But if you haven't taken anything from this, then I hope you've at least been entertained._

_ And now… what else is there to say? Happy reading. This chapter is my absolute favorite, which is saying a lot, since there are so many chapters near and dear to me. I hope you love it too! And for those demanding more, more, more… feel free to break this chapter up into pieces, reading a little each day. Yeah. I didn't think you'd be able to either.)_

* * *

Epilogue

Friday, October 4th, 2024

House parked in the garage and then climbed out of his car, shutting the car door behind him before detouring from his original intentions, putting off confronting whatever awaited him inside to walk out onto the driveway where his youngest was currently dribbling a basketball, running and playfully dodging around his dad before shooting into the hoop hanging off the garage, flashing him a grin after he'd caught the ball leaving the net.

House rolled his eyes but returned the grin before catching his ten year old son under his arm in a headlock when he came to hug him, giving him an affectionate noogie before releasing him.

"All your hours practicing are paying off," he wryly informed him then, genuinely impressed at how Caleb's skills had improved over the course of one summer.

"Think I'll make the basketball team next year?" C.J. asked hopefully once his dad had released him, shaking out his shaggy sandy hair that Cuddy kept trying to cajole him into cutting as he walked beside his dad back towards the garage.

"Wouldn't surprise me," House acknowledged, knowing both C.J. and his best friend Ben, Erika and Wilson's youngest, named after Trevor's father and Erika's first husband to honor his memory, intended to try out as soon as they started middle school and had devoted their last summer vacation to playing one another.

"Awesome," C.J. replied, shooting his dad another grin, clearly pleased.

"Where are _you_ going?" House asked him then as his son put his basketball away but turned back to exit the garage the way he'd entered.

"Ben invited me to come over and eat at his house," C.J. paused to reply with a shrug.

"But it's family night!" House protested whiningly.

C.J. gave him a look but excused, "Mom said we'd do family night tomorrow instead." Drolly he motioned to the house and added, "Trust me dad, if you were me you wouldn't want to go in there either."

House screwed up his face but resignedly inquired, "It's that bad?"

C.J. nodded, his nose wrinkling up. "Mom says someday soon I will like girls but… I don't think so. With three sisters there's _enough _drama. You should have just had boys, dad."

And with that sage but useless council, having come far too late to be applicable now, C.J. turned and made his escape.

House rubbed a hand over his face, expelling a breath as he stopped beside his car to retrieve the bag of takeout from the passenger side before forcing himself to take the steps to go inside, hitting the switch to close the garage door as he entered the house.

"What's wrong with her?" he resignedly asked under his breath the minute he entered, Cuddy practically meeting him at the door, nervously worrying her lip, clearly having been anxiously awaiting him and now earning an eye roll for it since he was pretty sure she was overreacting; that they _all _were. _Female drama._ Made all the worse by the majority of it coming from the teenage population under his roof these days. And who would have ever thought that would be the case, when the drama could be coming from Cuddy instead? And why had he thought girls would be preferable again? Because despite whatever anxiety he'd wrestled with in learning he would be rearing a boy after being blessed with three girls, his own experience with his father plaguing him, C.J. _had _proven to be the easiest out of his four, at least so far. Although his sweet little Lilabeth was next in line for the title of perfect child, though that was perhaps only because she hadn't hit puberty yet.

House had stopped on the way home to pick up dinner after having unexpectedly solved his case and had just been paying for their order when Cuddy called, demanding that he hurry home as Evie had run past her and into her room, slamming the door and locking herself in, yelling at Cuddy to "just go away and leave me alone", jolting Cuddy from her initial irritation at the door slamming and shock at Evie's rudeness to an almost handwringing state when her daughter refused to even talk to her, loud racking sobs coming through the door and washing over her, something being very wrong and yet having come seemingly from nowhere.

"I don't know," she declared in earnest now, shaking her head. "She won't even talk to me, House. Rachel's trying to get her to talk but Evie won't even open the door for her. I… I don't know what to do. She never acts like this. I don't know what happened. She was perfectly fine when I got home, listening to music in her room. We talked for a few minutes and then she asked if she could go through my clothes, looking for something to wear for Spirit Week."

"I thought that wasn't for another month. And I hope you told her no," House dryly muttered, not about to let his fourteen year old daughter dress like Cuddy did, not that he was at all complaining about how Cuddy dressed, he loved her look, especially when it allowed him to look down her shirt while working. He just strongly objected to Evie ever making that possible for any guy to do to her. He was still trying to convince the girls that turtlenecks were making a comeback.

For the first time since he'd come in the door Cuddy forgot her anxiety, her eyes narrowing at him as she automatically crossed her arms over her chest.

"I love that top by the way," House rushed to state then, though he said it with a pointed look at the cleavage that crossing her arms had made all the more obvious.

Cuddy huffed, uncrossing her arms, but tersely replied, "It _isn't_ for another month. But she's really looking forward to it. And I told her she had to get permission before she could wear whatever she selected."

House rolled his eyes before leaning in to kiss her, Cuddy having immediately launched into today's saga before he could do so, but now she was quick to deny him what he wanted, instantly backed away.

"Are you serious?" he muttered huffily. "You're mad because I commented on your low neckline? Do you know how often I comment on your cleavage? _All the time. _Besides, I said I '_love _that top!'"

But Cuddy shook off his theory on why she'd backed away, frowning at him. "Go talk to her!" she whiningly ordered.

"Like I'm going to have more luck than you," House retorted under his breath.

"House," Cuddy admonished, "You know when something is wrong she almost _always _comes to you before she comes to me."

He puffed out another exhalation of disbelief but did move to do as she'd asked, stepping around her, Cuddy immediately following him. But before he did what she expected of him he detoured into the kitchen.

"_House,"_ she whined, trying to rush him along.

He looked back at her as he set their Chinese food on the counter and then drolly mumbled, "She's a fourteen year old girl, Cuddy. It's probably… _that time,_" he finished lowly from between his teeth with a significant nod in the direction of Evie's room, "of the month. I shouldn't have to explain teenage girls to you. I know it was a hundred years ago but you _were _a hormone-fluctuating teenage girl once. At least, I _think _you…"

"She had her period last week," Cuddy interrupted him to negate his theory, her jaw tight and eyes narrowing even further.

"_Cuddy…"_ he began, needing to protest as much as he could before succumbing. But her name was the only word she allowed him to utter before she butted in again.

"You think I don't know my daughter, House? I'm telling you this isn't just Evie being…"

"A teenage girl?" he filled in, raising an eyebrow pointedly. "Difficult? Storming about the house? Slamming doors? Telling her mother to just leave her alone? Crying? _Right._ This couldn't have _anything_ to do with being hormonal," he finished, his words overflowing with sarcasm.

"Will you just go talk to her?" she pleaded, determined not to argue with him any longer because it would just serve as a means by which he'd drag things out all the more.

House huffed out a final breath, rolling his eyes, but resignedly grunted, "_Fine,_" before his lips pressed tightly together and he turned to head for the stairs, Cuddy following him but only as far as the bottom of the staircase.

He looked at her when she stopped there, leaning against the rail, and his mouth curved up slightly as her eyes met his, the way she was still worrying her lip somehow endearing. "Why did we have three girls before deciding boys would be easier?" he asked softly then, reaching out to stroke her cheek with a finger.

Cuddy released her lip, her mouth curving up affectionately as her tension eased. "Don't look at me," she teased. "You signed up for Rachel and your sperm determined Evie and Lily being female. And anyway, we _didn't _ever actually decide boys would be easier. Our family was supposed to have been complete. C.J. took us both by surprise."

He pursed his lips in agreement to that last point she'd made but then returned to her first statement to suggestively mumble under his breath, his eyes focusing now on her mouth, "I love when you talk about my sperm."

"Mmm," Cuddy teasingly moaned right back before she straightened away from him as he brought his face closer, her expression turning stern as she ruled, "Go fix things for Evie and maybe tonight I'll do a _whole lot_ of talking about your sperm."

House pouted but then proffered, "I'll take your deal on the condition that you first give me a little kiss to tide me over until I have you alone."

She laughed, her eyes turning soft once more as she reached up to cup his jaw. "I accept your counteroffer," she murmured as she brought her face to his slowly, her lips descending to meet his in a small kiss before she forced herself to back away.

He opened his eyes and looked disappointed that she'd stopped it at that but then breathed out harshly through his nose, about-facing in acceptance as he began the climb, Cuddy watching him go.

"Hi dad," Rachel murmured in greeting when he came into view from where she leaned against Evie's door, pushing off of it a second later after pausing her iPod, removing one earbud before then tucking a lock of her long light brown hair behind her ear as she headed for him to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey kid," he mumbled, his eyes sweeping over his not yet sixteen year old daughter, his eyes narrowing upon taking in her outfit: jean shorts that barely covered the top two inches of her thighs and accentuated her long, lean, still tan from summer, runner legs, her t-shirt at least meeting with his approval for it advertised a band he could actually stand and while conforming to her, was long enough to not just cover her midriff but also a good portion of her jean shorts as well. Opting _not _to comment on her shorts though, figuring whatever was up with her sister he might want to pick and choose his battles for the present and leave the shorts for a complaint to be filed with the boss later on, House rifled Rachel's hair when she came to him wrapping her arms around him after pushing up on her tiptoes to give him a kiss, his actions earning him a dirty look when she released him and pulled away to smooth her hair, wrinkling her nose at him.

"What's up with your sister?" he asked her under his breath, drolly glancing in the direction of Evie's room before meeting her eyes again.

"I've tried to talk to her but she says she doesn't want to talk. She won't even open the door. At least the crying has stopped though," she added with a shrug and a small smile.

"Alright, get out of here," he muttered, jerking his head in the direction of the stairs.

"Sounds good to me," she agreed.

"There's Chinese in the kitchen," he called after her as she began to walk away from him to take the stairs.

"Thanks," she acknowledged breezily before slyly stating, "But I'm on my way next door to study with Trev. He's back for the weekend and agreed to help me get ready for my Calculus test. I'll probably eat with him."

"It's _Friday,_" he griped immediately, not liking what he was hearing, now having lost at least two of his kids to Wilson and Erika's house, Lily potentially being the third as he had yet to see her and she was almost always the first to greet him when he came inside. "It's _too soon _to be studying. It's the weekend. And besides, this is family night," he once more objected in a whine.

"Dad, you reschedule family night for Saturdays half the time. And _come on_, Trevor's only here for the weekend. I want to spend whatever time I can with him before he goes back to school."

"You're too young to date," he reminded her testily. "And he's too old for you."

"So you constantly tell me but the point is moot since Trevor still thinks of me as a kid," Rachel was quick to reply, her expression revealing just how she felt about _that_.

House grimaced because that didn't mean she didn't have her eye on Erika and Wilson's oldest kid, complaining, "It better stay that way," before, somewhat mollified, giving in with one condition, "Erika or Wilson, one of them, better be around _at all times_."

Rachel looked back at him before she began her descent downstairs, it being her turn to roll her eyes, but then wryly said, "Uncle Wilson's home and Aunt Erika's on the way. And don't worry. He makes us study in the living room. No thanks to you," she added with a look and some sass.

"_Good,"_ House mumbled under his breath, turning to head for Evie's room now even while grumbling to himself about how his oldest could consider Wilson and Erika her uncle and aunt but that did _not _in _any way _make Trevor her cousin and off limits, apparently.

"Open the door," he demanded, not bothering to knock.

He waited all of about three seconds before he added sternly, "_Now_. Trust me when I say I don't need you to unlock it to get in but things will go better for you if you…"

A click sounded before he could finish his statement and an eyebrow rose as he waited, watching the door open before him to reveal his fourteen year old daughter, who avoided his eyes as she stepped back to let him in, her slender body leaning back against the door once it was open.

House waited, frowning, taking in her tear-streaked face and the few wispy curls now plastered to her wet cheeks that had escaped the clip she'd obviously tried to contain her oftentimes wildly curly black hair in.

"Are you just going to stand there or are you coming in?" she moodily asked, not meeting his eyes but feeling them upon her, studying her intently.

He walked within, letting her comment slide, but then turned to watch her as she shut the door behind him, relocking it. He didn't really care if she was mouthy with _him_, but he wasn't as tolerant when it came to how any of their kids treated Cuddy, mainly because that typically meant he'd be in the doghouse, as far as she was concerned.

Not wasting any time he muttered, "I don't know what's wrong and I won't know until you tell me but you _will _apologize to your mom for being rude…"

And that was all it took for the tears she'd clearly shed before opening the door to start up again, Evie surprising him completely as she threw herself at him and had him rocking on his feet to maintain his balance, his kid wrapping her arms around him and just bawling into his shirt, clutching at his back. For a brief second he flashed back to when she'd been two and a half and how she'd acted much the same way when he'd finally found himself yelling at her for the first time _ever_ for being exceptionally naughty, scaring Cuddy half to death when she turned around in the shop she'd taken the girls to, to find Rachel still patiently waiting beside her but Evie nowhere in sight. He remembered her frantic call, her voice saturated in guilt and fear, along with the panic he himself had felt on the drive to the store after leaving the baby with Erika, who had luckily for him been at home at the time. He could still picture limping into the store to find Cuddy crying in devastation, trying to describe what Evie had been wearing to the police officers who had been called, showing them every picture she had on her phone while Rachel sat in her lap, tightly clutched to her chest, Cuddy struggling to her feet upon spotting him to throw herself into his arms, sobbing and apologizing profusely, all at the same time. And he remembered how relief had washed over him but just as quickly frustration, when he'd swept the store, searching for any trace of her, unable and unwilling to just sit and do nothing as the policemen had instructed, his attention suddenly riveting upon a tiny movement at floor level, coming to a standstill when he realized it was a little hand sticking out through a gap in the woodwork of the front display case to wave at him, Evie somehow having crawled inside it without being observed. When he instantly lowered himself to the floor to try and figure out how to get her free, not bothering yet with telling anyone he'd found her because he wasn't thinking clearly at the time, Evie just giggled and crawled out on her own with the stuffed animal she'd been entertaining herself with while hidden, telling him she'd been hiding from mommy and when he asked why, happily announced because it was 'funner dan shoppin'.' He'd _wished _he could find that as amusing as he was able to later but the reality was that at that point he'd lost it, yelling at her, and the cute little grin on her lips instantly disappeared, her mouth trembling before her face screwed up and she threw herself into his chest, bawling much as she was doing now, though back then at a much higher decibel.

Coming back to the present House sighed dramatically but slowly enfolded his daughter in his arms, one hand removing the clip from her hair and chucking it across the room before he slid his fingers through her tangled curls the way he'd always done when she was upset about something, keeping his mouth shut for fear he'd say the wrong thing, not knowing what the _right thing _was, and make whatever was going on, all the worse.

It wasn't too long though before he grew weary of the crying and then he cleared his throat before commanding gruffly, "Tell me what happened."

She stopped crying a moment later and turned her head to the side, resting it against his heart, and then worked her throat as she tried to regain control, her body still shaking with spasms of emotion. Finally she released one hand's hold of him to reach behind her and into her back pocket. But when House relaxed his grip on her, the hand that was still on his back reflexively clutched down, her nails accidentally digging into his flesh a bit, and House grimaced before grousing, "Watch the talons. I'm not going anywhere."

"Sorry," she garbled, relaxing her grip, her other hand coming back from behind her.

He caught sight of her hand and its content, some kind of document folded and clutched within, and asked the obvious question, "What's that?"

Evie released him to look up and meet his eyes, a hand coming up to swipe at her face, wiping away tears as she sniffed forcefully.

He felt his pockets but came up empty and turned away to locate her tissue box, walking over to it and snatching out a few before he handed them to her and sank down on her bed, Evie immediately sinking into the space next to him and leaning into his side. House waited until she'd blown her nose before raising an eyebrow at her pointedly when she finally looked at him again.

"Mom said I could look through her clothes for something to wear for Spirit Week," she began brokenly, stopping to take a breath, her body jerking suddenly with another shudder. "But I couldn't really find anything so I thought I'd go through the boxes she put down in the storage space in the basement last spring when she changed out her wardrobe, to see if I could find something there."

"Yeah," he prompted when she stopped once more to take a breath, following her so far.

She sucked in a deep breath, filling her lungs, her body wracking afterwards though with a dry sob before she looked away from him. "I wasn't snooping dad. I promise. I know I'm not supposed to go through mom's stuff without permission."

"What'd you find?" he huffed, believing her but not liking where this seemed to be going, his eyes narrowing as he frowned.

Her mouth trembled and she worked hard to try and regain control before she pushed on with, "I guess I didn't stack the boxes very well because they fell over and knocked over another one that was back in the corner. I went to try and right it but it was old and the bottom of the box fell apart. All of a sudden I was standing in the midst of a bunch of old papers and file folders. So I… I bent down to pick them all up after fixing the box as much as I could. I didn't want to make mom mad at me for making a mess. And… I didn't mean to read anything. _I really didn't_," she denied adamantly, apparently concerned with getting in trouble as well when House was only focused on what she'd seen.

Frankly, even if she _had _been snooping, it wasn't as if he would bust her for it. Well, he might, because he was _supposed to, _but not in a way that translated as being anything other than halfhearted in her eyes. The kid was curious by nature, something she caught from him he assumed, since he was _always _snooping and had found her to be the perfect companion-in-mischief, though she could keep a secret with the best of them, her knowledge being shared more according to her moods and purposes than anything else, telling him what she knew he wanted to know only when it suited her. Actually, that was a lot like him too, he acknowledged internally.

"What'd you find?" he repeated more sternly, wanting an answer.

Instead of just coming out and saying it though, she swallowed hard and dropped her head down before holding the paper up for him to take. "It was poking out of a file and it looked like a contract and… it had both of your names on it. It even had Uncle Wilson's signature. I… I'm taking U.S. Government and so I thought…"

House had snatched the paper from her fingers to unfold it and Evie fell silent, just waiting as her dad glanced it over, already sure that he knew what it was and upon confirming that with only the briefest of looks, did not need his reading glasses to know what it said.

Releasing a pent-up breath, he set the paper copy of their agreement from long ago aside and raked a hand over his face before wryly reminding, "We never hid the fact from you that mom went through a hard time around your birth, Evie. You know that she wasn't able to be there those first six months. Georgia," he emphasized, to be sure he had her attention. "You knew that."

"But you never told me she wanted to have an _abortion_. You never told me she hadn't wanted me _at all_," she instantly bit out, her eyes flashing as she met his now.

House froze, staring at her, searching her expression for how she was doing even while trying to formulate a proper response to her statements, knowing he'd require the effort if he wanted to keep her from pushing them all away right now. The legal agreement hadn't specifically mentioned abortion but he could easily understand how Evie had read it and made that conclusion all on her own. She was a smart kid. All his kids were. And on _occasion_ that was something he found himself regretting.

Regardless, he voiced, "The contract doesn't mention abortion."

"But she wanted one, didn't she?" Evie surprised him by confronting, staring him down, just waiting for him to deny it.

Instead of doing so, he said nothing. Lying would do him no good. Evie was astute and knew his tells. All it would accomplish then would be giving her a reason not to trust him.

Evie sucked in a breath, dry-sobbing once before she caught herself, closing her eyes and quickly moistening her lips as she fought again for control. She didn't give him time to speak though before she additionally confessed, "I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to think. So I… flipped through some of the other files and found… I found paperwork from the court reinstating mom's legal and custodial rights. They wouldn't have to be reinstated if she hadn't terminated them, right? Just like the contract said she intended to. She didn't want anything to do with me, _did she?_ That's why you signed that agreement. That's why you didn't work at PPTH for a long time. That's why she wasn't around when I was a baby," she finished, her wounded eyes meeting his and sustaining his gaze as she waited for him to answer.

House tipped his head to the side unconsciously before he reasoned, "Evie, your mom loves you. Right now you're upset but deep down, you _know_ she does. Maybe when we found out you were coming… she wasn't in a good place and ready for it. I'm not going to lie to you. She wasn't at her best then. But she has loved you since the moment she finally allowed herself to lay eyes on you and…"

"But she already had Rachel and she wanted her," Evie mumbled sadly in counterargument, looking away.

"Evie," he began cajolingly, trying to pick and choose what he was going to say.

"I don't want to talk anymore," she interrupted him though to solemnly state, her body language changing as her walls came up to shut him out.

"_Evie,"_ he tried again, nudging her with his arm.

But she pushed herself off the bed and grabbed her backpack where it sat on the floor, upturning it the next second, her schoolbooks, notebooks, pens and pencils going everywhere before she turned, upside down backpack dangling from her fingertips, and headed for her dresser, pulling open drawers.

"What are you doing?" he dryly queried, his mouth pursing as he watched her in resignation.

"I don't want to see her. I don't want to talk to her. I have nothing to say. I'm leaving," she tersely muttered under her breath as she started haphazardly shoving clothes into her backpack.

"Georgia, you aren't going anywhere," he huffed, shaking his head but not moving from her bed.

Evie froze at the use of her first name and turned her head to stare at him and for the first time he realized how grown-up his baby was quickly becoming. Up until this moment he'd mainly worried about how Rachel was rapidly approaching adulthood. Now he could see she wasn't the only one, even if Evie remained a tomboy and did not yet show any real interest in boys beyond the superficial.

Evie jutted her chin up at him before solemnly stating, "Yes I am. You can stop me now if you want, but you know I'll be gone first chance I get."

"Where are you going to go?" he asked pointedly, raising an eyebrow. "You don't think mom will find you at Lucy's house? At McKenzie's? At Kendra's? You don't think she'll call every friend you have until she tracks you down? You think you can steal off to Grandma Cuddles and she'll hide you there? Where are you going to go?"

Her dad always called her friends by the wrong name but it was obvious he knew who she spent her time with because he'd ticked their correct names off, one by one. Ignoring that, despite his "slip-up" being something she'd normally tease him about, Evie's jaw clenched reflexively though she maintained their locked gaze before determinedly straightening her back and forcing out, "I don't know but I'm sure you'll have fun looking for me."

Well at that point House was no longer interested in reasoning with her, genuinely pissed off.

But Evie didn't miss the small changes in his expression telling her she'd pushed too hard and her shoulders fell as she sucked in a jerky breath, tears filling her eyes once more. "Wanna come with me, daddy?" she asked brokenly then, hating that she'd made him mad at her but _needing _to get away.

And just like that it was settled. House softened instantly, feeling slightly manipulated because he knew the position he'd taken had just done a 180 degree turn mostly in response to what she'd called him, which he figured she was well aware of, but nevertheless raked a hand through his hair before he murmured, "Evie, what will running away solve? You're going to have to come back and face this sometime. Your mom…"

"Don't mention her to me!" Evie all of a sudden shouted in anger, eyes flashing. And House sat back, his hands supporting him on the bed behind him as he leaned at an angle, frowning at her outburst.

She swallowed hard, clearly struggling for control, but then whispered, "You don't have to come if you don't want to. But I am going, dad. I don't want to be here right now. And… you know if I have to, I can use the knowledge gleaned from all those times when you strived to make your job extra interesting when I came to work with you in hopes I'd want to follow in your footsteps. I've seen people hotwire a car in hopes of impressing you to get on your service. I could do it. And you've allowed me to drive the car on back roads when mom wasn't around to forbid it, enough to…"

House rolled his eyes, thankful Cuddy wasn't able to hear their daughter talk right now. Huffing out another breath he gave in and dryly declared, "Fine. Where are we going?"

Evie sucked in a breath of relief and House suddenly realized that she hadn't _only_ been trying to appease him but had genuinely wanted him along, even if she'd timed her invitation. And whether it was for the comfort or the security he didn't know but the fact remained, she _wanted_ _him_ to go with her. Pursing his mouth, for the first time thinking of how his crazy kid was not trying to push him away as well despite having to know he'd want to patch things up between her and Cuddy, House knew agreeing to go with her as she ran from this was what was best for everyone, even as he cringed at how this discovery on Evie's part was going to affect Cuddy and throw her for a loop, only to then find he wasn't even going to be around for her to lean on. He was in an impossible situation, torn between two of the people he loved most, his wife and his kid, and now forced to make a decision that would have consequences, no matter what he chose. They both… They both _needed_ him, he knew. And yet even if it meant leaving Cuddy to deal with her feelings alone, in the scheme of things, agreeing to Evie's demands was best _for Cuddy_ as well. Evie, while clearly communicating she wanted him along, _was _genuinely stubborn enough to do what she wanted first chance she got, if she thought he'd turn back now. And inventiveness was something she had in spades.

Lifting his gaze to stare at her he could see she was still brainstorming possibilities for her escape, should he change his mind or not go along with her wishes. "It's still warm out. Want to go camping?" he suggested off the cuff. "If it gets too cold at night we can always rent a cabin or stay at a hotel."

Evie paused to think about it and he could see the wheels turning in her head as she considered it, ultimately liking the idea. Wryly, he thought it probably helped that camping was about the _last_ thing Cuddy would want to do, accompanying them when they did go only because all four kids still enjoyed camping, big on being in the great outdoors, and she wanted to be with _them,_ _not _because she liked camping. Not by any stretch of the imagination. And not when five star hotels were another option.

"Okay, but you have to pay with cash," she negotiated, causing him to lift an eyebrow. In all seriousness, Cuddy wasn't going to like this. She wasn't going to like the idea of them just taking off. But… she wasn't _him. _Therefore, paying with cash wasn't, strictly speaking, necessary in order to be covert or something. She wasn't going to hunt them down. And either way, she wouldn't need to… because he would tell her where they were anytime she asked. This was going to be rough enough without keeping in touch with her. But, he supposed it _was_ best that he not tell the kid that. At least not presently. Perhaps he never should have let her watch him check purchases made on their credit card online last year to try and figure out in advance what Cuddy had gotten him for their anniversary in order to figure out what he should get _her_. Yeah, that had probably been a mistake.

Jerking his head, he nodded in agreement. "Pack your stuff but use the blue duffle bag in your closet," he told her. "That backpack won't hold all you need to keep warm. And make sure you pack extra layers in case it does get cold. I've got to grab the tent and sleeping bags and pack a bag for myself before we head out. Give me a half hour. Lock your room if you have to but… give me that time to get ready and at least explain to your mom that we'll be gone for a few days."

Evie nodded hesitantly, her eyes searching his face, and he got to his feet before walking to her, pulling her to his chest before he pressed a kiss to her head. _"Half hour,"_ he repeated as she hugged him tightly, and then he went to the door and unlocked it to head out, looking back at her briefly before he walked away, feeling a headache coming on when her door immediately shut and locked behind him, knowing Cuddy was not going to like any part of this.

House knew he should go straight to her but avoidance was his thing so when he didn't find her still waiting at the bottom of the stairs he first went out to the garage to throw the camping supplies in the trunk of his car, along with several bottles of water, before he resignedly reentered the house.

Cuddy was sitting on the bed when he entered their bedroom a minute later and House glanced at her, his expression tightening, his defenses springing up a little in not knowing how she'd react, steeling himself for the emotions he was going to be hit with when she objected, which there was no denying she would, by reasoning that this was her fault for not destroying those stupid papers long ago, as he had his copies.

"Where's Lily?" he avoided. "Over playing with Addie?"

"No. She… She and Addie are over at Chase and Cameron's, playing with Isabella. Remember Cameron offered last week to pick them up from school and have them over? Addie's going to spend the night I guess but Lily wants me to pick her up in another hour," Cuddy answered after she'd found her voice, House's expression having done nothing to soothe her, only confirming her suspicions that this thing with Evie _wasn't _solely based on hormones as House had originally tried to claim, and appeared to be much more serious than he'd expected.

He bobbed his head in acknowledgment of her response but then turned away from her to pull open a drawer and started to remove the clothing he'd need while gone.

She watched him wordlessly, not understanding what was going on as he began to stack a pile of clothes on top of the bureau before going to the closet. But before she could ask, House mumbled, "I'm not going to be here this weekend. And I might need to take a few days off at the beginning of next week. I don't know."

"What?" she asked in a whisper, not understanding, her head moving from side to side in confusion as she'd been expecting him to come downstairs and tell her what was going on with Evie, not suddenly announce he was apparently leaving and oh by the way, also wanted some time off from work.

The rubber band she'd been twirling absently stilled in its motion around her fingers and she moistened her lips before murmuring in bewilderment, "Where are you going?"

"I might not need the time off," he continued, not bothering to look at her as he pulled things from hangers before turning to add them to the pile he'd started. "But in case I do…"

"House, what's going on?" she interrupted, her voice reflecting her mounting stress.

He stopped what he was doing, his eyes closing before he lowered his head and opened them to stare at the floor, trying to figure out how to explain this to her, knowing he'd been putting it off because he so didn't want to have to explain it.

"You're scaring me," Cuddy murmured, fear actually carrying across in her voice.

Turning slowly to face her, he pursed his mouth before gruffly acknowledging as calmly as he could, "Evie went down in the basement and was searching through the boxes of clothes you put down there in the spring when you did your usual closet switch-out thingy, looking for something to wear for Spirit Week like you told her she could. She accidently knocked some boxes over and the bottom of one burst open. Papers and files fell out and she reached to grab them to put them back when she… found that document I had drawn up when you were pregnant with her. She said she wasn't trying to snoop. But as she told me, she _is_ in that U.S. Government class and so it makes sense that she thought to take a closer look. She saw our signatures, along with Wilson's and she couldn't help but be interested in what it was. Anyway, she's upset because… after reading it she concluded all on her own that if I had to make you sign a document like that, it was because you had not wanted her. That… you wanted to abort her. And… she's not taking that so well."

Cuddy sucked in a breath as if she'd been sucker-punched and tears instantly filled her eyes, spilling over, House literally feeling it, being torn right down the center of him as her face reflected every little emotion she was feeling right now. Looking away uncomfortably he frowned before limping back to the walk-in closet, grabbing his own hefty duffle bag from the shelf there, knowing he didn't have a whole lot of time if he was going to keep his word to Evie. Turning back with it in hand, he returned to where his pile of clothing waited but said as he went, "She's always known that you went through a rough time around her birth and that you weren't able to be there right away. We both know that she does know that, Cuddy. But… I guess finding out it wasn't just… _after_ she was born, hit her hard. She just needs to get away for a little while. She needs some time to process. She wants me to take her camping. She…"

"Why wouldn't you have destroyed that document long ago, House?" Cuddy asked out of nowhere, interrupting him and causing his head to turn slowly in her direction, finding accusation in her eyes.

House drew back at the look she was giving him, his jaw clenching at how she apparently was blaming _him_ for this, as if _he _was the one at fault, and it took all he had to restrain himself from yelling at her, nevertheless gritting out, "I destroyed _my_ copy, along with the legal paperwork originally giving me full custody of her, a long time ago Cuddy. I did it back when I was still seeing Nolan because he suggested in one of our sessions that I do something to symbolize that the past would no longer hold me back and I was letting it go. What Evie found was _your _copy Cuddy. Why didn't _you _destroy it? It wasn't amongst _my _things. It was with _your _old files. You can't blame me for this. This is all _your_ fault."

Cuddy flinched, drawing back and away from him as she struggled to breathe normally. "My fault for not knowing that a copy of that document even still existed or my fault for…?" she found herself asking, suddenly questioning if he'd been holding onto this deep within him for _years, _secretly holding it against her still.

"Take your pick," he huffed, interrupting her with a scowl.

Cuddy stared at him, her mouth gaping open as she sank back down onto the bed, and House caught her reflection in the mirror after having turned back around and his eyes closed, pained, before he met her eyes in the mirror. "I didn't mean that," he mumbled. "I'm sorry. I'm not looking to place blame. It's over and done with. I…"

"Is it?" she interrupted now in a whisper.

House turned around to face her, taking in how brittle she suddenly seemed, like she was on the verge of cracking into a million little pieces, his failure clearly laid out before him if his intention had been to _not _make things worse. Releasing a breath, he hesitantly went towards her but she leaned away from him before he could sit beside her, hurt and yet mostly agonized as he was by the thought that Evie had found this out in the way she had.

"I need to go to her," she murmured, warding him off with a hand as she changed directions, leaning in the opposite way to push up off the bed, getting to her feet.

"No," House instantly negated, shaking his head while blocking her way with his body.

"_No?_" she repeated indignantly, her expression revealing that she was offended, as well as outright pissed that he'd try to stop her, when her face swung up and in his direction.

"No," he echoed, staring at her. "You don't."

"Yes I do," Cuddy spat out, obviously beyond angry now. "I need to explain…"

"What? What are you going to explain?" House forcefully demanded, his chin coming up as he stared at her pointedly. "How she's right? How you didn't want her? How you did in fact want to abort her? What are you going to explain, Cuddy? Nothing you can say will make it suck less. And she's not ready to hear it."

And her mouth trembled as she tried to form thoughts to coherently give him some kind of answer only to find she couldn't because it felt as if he'd just slapped her, the shock having to wear off before she could understand what he'd just done.

House regretted his harsh words the minute they were out of his mouth but he had to make her see reason here. Evie wasn't ready. And like it or not, now was not the time to back their daughter into a corner and force her to listen. Especially to Cuddy when in Evie's eyes, she was the offender. That would never work. That would only backfire.

Sighing and rubbing a hand over his face, he looked back at her only to have her avoid his gaze seconds before she sat down suddenly upon the bed as if her legs had given out on her. Then her hands came up at the same time her head came down and in them coming together Cuddy effectively buried her face in her hands and began to cry.

"_Honey_," he surprised even himself by gently murmuring, his hand coming forward to reach for her.

"_Don't!_" Cuddy hissed out, her head jerking back up at his sudden endearment to glare at him. "Don't do that! Don't pity me!"

He blinked in surprise at her ferocity but his hand fell to his side as he turned, only so as to sit down on the bed beside her, feeling helpless.

Searching for words, he grappled for just how to approach her in this moment when he knew he also had a kid to be there for and was now stuck in the middle of a downright awful situation.

Just then his phone rang and House cursed but reached to pull it out of his pocket, recognizing Wilson's ringtone.

"This is a bad time," House bit off into the phone, realizing then that he was taking his frustration out on his innocent buddy and forcing himself to cool down before mumbling as if in apology, "I'll call you back later."

"Wait! House!" Wilson shouted before he could disconnect the call.

"_What?!"_ he demanded in aggravation, returning the phone to his ear, shooting a glance at Cuddy as she angled her body away from him.

"I just thought I'd let you know that your kid just lowered herself out her bedroom window using a fire escape ladder and is currently sneaking around the house, heading for the garage," he dryly informed him, having seen just that as he drove down the street after running out on an errand to the nearby convenience store.

"You gotta be kidding me," House muttered under his breath, instantly disconnecting the call before shoving himself to his feet to leave the room, not bothering with an explanation as he had a bad feeling it was one he had no time for, stalking with purpose through the hallway and to the door before yanking it open just as he heard the garage door start to go up.

Evie's head whipped around to see him glaring at her as she froze beside the driver's seat door, her eyes widening before she frantically tugged the door open and threw herself into the car after her duffle bag, locking the door once she'd shut it behind her while House went down the stairs and jerked on the door handle before realizing that she'd obviously entered the house long enough to grab his spare set of keys from where they hung in the laundry room, and then forgetting about bothering with the door he hastily made his way about the car as the engine roared to life, House planting himself behind it and staring at her as she looked back over her shoulder at him even as he felt the car shift beneath him into gear.

"You going to run your old man down?" he asked seriously, lifting an eyebrow as he waited for her response.

"Get out of the way, dad," her muffled voice responded in teary frustration.

"I said I was coming," he huffed angrily in response, shaking his head.

Evie pouted but then mumbled, "You said that but…"

"When did I last lie to you?" House interrupted to demand.

Evie let out a puff of air but stared at him, finally putting the car back in park before she whined, "You say that but I _know _you're going to tell mom and she's not going to like it and then you'll end up giving in. You'll take her side. You always do."

House didn't appreciate how she obviously conceived of him as being weak when it came to Cuddy. It was irritating. It also wasn't necessarily true. His jaw clenched but instead of retorting he simply said, "I'm not taking _anyone's _side but my own. I said we'll go and we will go. I've already put the tent and sleeping bags in the trunk. I was just getting my stuff together. Check if you don't believe me."

Evie broke their gaze, clearly struggling with whether or not to trust him only to decide she wasn't going to just yet, demanding, _"Prove it."_

House rolled his eyes but commanded, "Pop the trunk."

She reached down and did so but she hadn't yet turned the engine off and House remained leery of opening the trunk all the way because then he'd be unable to see her and likewise, her him. "Turn the car off Evie. And then as a gesture of good faith, toss me the keys. I still have to grab my stuff from inside. Lock yourself in the car if you want but I want those keys. Then I'll prove it to you."

Her eyes narrowed to suspicious slits and he gave her a dirty look before stating, "You were the one to say you didn't need keys anyway to start a car. Turning over the keys gives me incentive to trust you enough to move out of your path. If you're half as smart as I think you are, you won't need them anyway if I double-cross you."

Evie stared at him, weighing his words, only allowing herself to appreciate his worded token of confidence in her to an extent in case he was working an angle. She didn't exactly _know _she'd be able to hotwire the car. She'd never actually done it herself. But… she _thought _she could and in any case, she didn't want her dad to think she _couldn't _and get cocky. Bobbing her head then, she pulled the keys free from the ignition and cracked her door enough to toss them out before shutting and relocking it.

She watched as her dad shook his head but then came around the car, sticking his tongue out at her petulantly before he bent and grabbed the keys, pocketing them before heading back to the trunk to show her the tent, sleeping bags and even the water, as if that would make a difference. Digging out his billfold next while shutting the trunk with the other hand he made a point of flashing a wad of cash that he actually only had because Chase had just split the profits of his latest wagers at the hospital with him that day. Tilting his head down to stare at her, he gruffly demanded, "Satisfied?"

"Yeah," she resignedly admitted after a minute, nodding before she slid over to the passenger seat.

"_Ugh,"_ he grumbled to himself under his breath, rolling his eyes before more loudly calling out, "Ten minutes," then turning to head back for the house.

She cracked her door to call out worriedly, "Don't tell mom I'm out here!"

House turned around and rubbed a hand over his face before giving her a droll look when her eyes met his through the back window. "Lock the doors if you want. Grab a sleeping bag from the trunk and use it to hide in. Whatever you want to do. But you and I both know your mom is going to want to see you before you leave and there's not much I can do about it. I won't give her the car keys but I'm not going to stop her from trying to talk to you through the window if that's what she wants to do. You know she's going nuts right now with that guilt complex of hers. _You also know I can't control her_. I'll take you away though kid. That's about all I can promise you right now."

Evie gave him a dirty look before she turned around, plopping herself down into her seat, clearly displeased. But honestly, he could only give her so much. She should know that by now.

By the time House came back down the hallway to return to his bedroom he wasn't surprised to see Cuddy coming down the stairs, wiping at her eyes.

He pursed his mouth but didn't comment on how she'd tried to do what he'd told her not to.

"She won't let me in. She won't talk to me," Cuddy whined, her eyes begging him to help her out.

"She's not in her room," he mumbled before heading back into their bedroom.

"But her door's locked," Cuddy countered, following after him, wringing her hands once more.

He glanced over his shoulder at her to acknowledge, "I know that. Or I figured that anyway. Wilson called from next door to tell me the kid was making her getaway. I can get the door open but the easiest thing to do is ask Wilson if he'll come over and use the fire escape ladder we usually keep under the kids' beds to climb in her room and unlock it," he wryly added before catching himself to firmly instruct, "_Don't _climb that ladder yourself, Cuddy. I mean it."

Cuddy's eyes widened but she concluded for herself that Evie hadn't gotten hurt in the process of climbing out her window and descending the ladder. _ "Where is she?"_ she immediately demanded to know.

House turned and reached for her, catching her upper arm even as she made for the door, pulling her back and into him, his arms wrapping around her waist the very next second.

Cuddy raised her head to look up at him, twisting her neck to see him better as he was behind her before she complained, "House, let me go."

"No. We need to talk first," he mumbled.

"I don't want to talk to you," she hotly declared before catching herself and more quietly contending, "I need to go talk to Evie."

House released her only to spin her in his arms and then his arm caught her waist as she stumbled against him, his other hand catching her jaw to lift it up enough to kiss her. His mouth found hers and he kissed her adamantly despite the protests she tried to make against his lips, squirming as much as she could within his arms.

"House, stop," she cried, trying to turn her head away from his, tears slipping down her cheeks at the overload of emotion she was experiencing on all sides.

He did but he refused to release her jaw, forcing her to make eye contact with him. _"I love you,"_ he stated honestly, his eyes pained. "I'm not mad at you. And you and I are not going back there, Cuddy. I've forgiven you for what I had to and I've accepted what was out of both of our control. _I love you,"_ he repeated earnestly before admitting with slight frustration, "I'm just… I'm upset because Evie's upset. And I need you to understand that I _am _going to take her away for a few days but… it's not because _I _need to get away. Do you understand that? Do you understand that I'm not going because I _want_ to leave you now? Because I don't, Cuddy. I don't. I… don't like the fact that I've found myself in between a rock and a hard place. I don't like feeling like I'm suddenly supposed to choose between who needs me more, you or Evie. But… that doesn't change the fact that Evie needs a few days, Cuddy. If you think about it you'll understand that for yourself. She's… she's like me. She's like _us. _Someone has to go with her though. She's willing for that to be me. Therefore, you have to let us. You have to let us or she'll find a way to go all on her own, like she just tried to by intending to steal my car."

Cuddy gasped in surprise at his last statement, that being the only thing to finally get through to her and weaken her resolve to not try and force Evie's hand. His grasp on her tightened slightly so that she'd return her focus to him.

"Do you believe that I love you? Do you believe that I'm not mad nor holding this against you?" he asked solemnly.

"House, I…" she began, her voice soft and eyes flying about, doubt still lurking in her gaze.

"Do you _believe _me?" he pressed.

Cuddy focused on his eyes, staring into them, but then nodded before melting into him, House's arms wrapping around her and holding her close when hers tunneled around him.

"I'll have my cell phone with but it needs charging," he said against the crown of her head before kissing her there. "I'll try to do that in the car on the way. I can't promise I'll have it on all the time but I will check it periodically and I'll let you know how she is. I just… might have to be covert about it for a while, 'til she's had some time to work through her feelings. I don't know what all she's thinking anyway. I don't think _she_ knows," he filled in dubiously.

"Will you let me know where you are?" Cuddy asked quietly, wiping away the tears that were dripping down her cheeks once he'd relaxed his arms about her, though she only moved back a couple inches and stayed within the clasp of his loose embrace.

He smiled but then nodded. "That kid might be the death of me. You'll need to know where to come to retrieve my body if I don't survive the weekend," he wryly replied.

"That's true," she managed to mumble, a hand coming up to trace the collar of his shirt before her eyes met his, the corner of her mouth lifting slightly as she attempted to be humorous. "I don't want to have to wait in order to collect the insurance money until you've been missing long enough to _officially_ declare you dead," she teased, her voice nevertheless cracking halfway through.

"I knew that was why you took out that extra policy on my life," he quipped right back, pulling in his chin to press a kiss to her forehead.

She smiled but then buried her face back in his chest as his hands stroked up and down her back for a moment.

"You'll tuck Lil' Bit in for me tonight?" House prompted then, referring to their eleven year old.

"Yeah," she promised, her head bobbing against his chest. "I'll tell the kids that you and Evie will be back in a few days. I'll make sure that they're alright."

He pressed another kiss to her head but then resignedly acknowledged, "I've got to go. Otherwise she'll hotwire my car and take off with it before I'm there to stop her."

Cuddy rolled her eyes after drawing back to see him but he looked at her seriously before dryly stating, "You think I'm joking but I'm 100% serious. She threatened me."

"How would she even know…?" Cuddy began skeptically before she straightened and stepped back from him, her lips pressing against one another as she mumbled, "No. I don't want to know."

House's mouth quirked but he just turned in the direction of their bathroom, grabbing out a couple more items from there before he shoved everything in his duffle bag.

"I think you're crazy to consider camping now but… take our pillows," she said, knowing he wouldn't be able to access Evie's at present and retrieving theirs from the bed to hold out for him. "I'll get you some extra blankets just in case. But if it's too cold, find a hotel or something. And… let me know that you're _both _alright."

He smiled but took the pillows from her before proposing quietly, "Why don't you round up some snacks for us while I take this stuff out to the car? You know what she likes best and even if I don't tell her, she'll know who included treats for her to snack on since that's always your thing."

Cuddy nodded, biting her lip but appreciating his suggestion, knowing that was his way of reinforcing that nothing had changed in his eyes and he still believed she was a good mom, the unspoken vote of confidence somehow alleviating some of her tension.

They split off to go in separate directions and House sighed in genuine relief when Evie was actually waiting for him in the car still. "You got your room key kid?" he thought to ask as he shoved the pillows in the backseat.

She nodded and then dug in her pocket to give it to him.

"I'll be right back," he told her with a put-out shake of his head, climbing back out of the backseat.

House whipped off his shirt as he entered the kitchen and threw it at Cuddy, smirking when it landed on her head. "Since you can't have me this weekend, you might as well have that," he grunted as she removed it from her person.

Cuddy bit back a smile, bringing it to her nose to breathe in, but then nodded and murmured, "Thank you."

He nodded, his grin growing before he turned to head past her and back to their bedroom to grab another one. "The kid gave me her key so I'm going to take care of that ladder myself," he called back at her.

"Wait," she called out, coming to him when he stopped and then resting her head against his bare chest, pressing a kiss to the skin directly over his heart before she sadly mumbled, her hand rising to stroke his chest, "I'm sorry if I doubted you, House. I love you. I love you very much. And I love her so much too. Don't let her…"

"I won't," he reassured. "I won't let her believe otherwise."

She nodded against him but then backed away to motion towards the counter where she had set a pile of blankets and a bag of snacks, along with a deck of cards. He smiled and then went to grab another shirt as he'd intended to before climbing the stairs. Unlocking Evie's door he rolled his eyes at her use of the safety ladder for a purpose he hadn't purchased it for and drew it back up, locking the ladder in before removing the apparatus from the window to shut and lock it, shoving the ladder under her bed, back where it belonged. He spotted her pillow but left it, figuring it would do her good to use Cuddy's and Cuddy would probably find herself up here and be only too happy to steal Evie's when she found the door unlocked, since his was now in the car. Instead he reached for the stuffed animal Cuddy had given her years ago, which Evie had taken everywhere with her for a very long time, and then grabbed her special blanket where it sat on the shelf in her closet, just in case.

When he came downstairs he added them to the pile of items on the counter and headed for the back door with them, not surprised to find Cuddy waiting at the door and frowning.

She looked up at him, giving him a pleading look, but then murmured, "I can't just let her go like this."

"So don't," he replied with a shrug. "Cuddy, she's not going to let you touch her when she's like this but… you can at least say goodbye and… I don't know… tell her you love her."

Cuddy nodded, somewhat surprised that he was now agreeing to her approaching Evie when before he'd been completely set against it, but perhaps that was because she was calmer now.

"This is just going to make it worse for you," he warned her seriously then, shaking his head. "But… she probably needs to hear it and know you aren't upset with her right now, even if she's mad at you," he acknowledged.

"I'll be okay," she reassured, though her voice quivered.

House nodded, not believing her at all.

"Kiss me before we go out there," he urged then. "And make it a good one since it might have to last me for a few days."

Cuddy bit her lip but then lightly pushed him into the door, following his body with her own and pressing right into all he had in his arms as she got on her tiptoes to capture his mouth, kissing him deeply, not hesitating to allow his tongue entrance when he silently asked for it nor stopping herself from following it back into his mouth with her own, the fingers of one hand raking through his hair as she used the other arm to brace herself against the nearby wall so they'd both remain upright, House unable to hold her steady at present.

With reluctance she broke the kiss slowly pulling away from him, her eyes upon him even through lowered lashes. "Hurry home to me," she encouraged breathily then.

House groaned, clearly put out that he had to leave and would be away from her all weekend, but all the same he reached for the doorknob then to rejoin Evie in the garage, Cuddy behind him.

"Open the door for me," he commanded when Evie immediately relocked the car doors at Cuddy following him out.

She gave him a look but House rolled his eyes and she finally unlocked the doors only to turn away, crossing her arms defiantly, her mouth a thin line.

He put his next load into the backseat, shooting her a glance, but then backed out of the car, shutting the door before he opened his own door to get in.

Cuddy was hesitating, not having missed Evie's petulance, but when he looked at her she came to him, giving him another hug before she kissed him once more lightly on the lips. She waited only until he'd climbed in the car before she went around it to Evie's side.

Evie was clearly not about to give her half a chance though as she clamped her hand down on the door lock to make sure her mom couldn't open it, House rolling his eyes again as he shut his own door, putting the key in the ignition but not starting the engine just yet.

Cuddy placed her trembling hand flat on the window, biting her lip as she stared at her daughter who was avoiding her gaze, staring straight ahead. It took her a minute to get her mouth to work properly but then Cuddy murmured, "I love you baby. I hope you have a good time with daddy. I'll miss you though. I'll be waiting for you to come back. I… I'm so sorry you're upset with me. I'm so sorry for hurting you. I love you. I love you _so_ much."

"Can we go now?" Evie huffed, turning to look at her dad, and House's heart clenched in his chest as his eyes met Cuddy's, tears streaming down her face, but she just nodded to indicate he should go and with reluctance and a deep breath he turned the key in the ignition and brought the car to life while Cuddy stepped back, watching them pull out, her eyes upon them until he could see her no more in his rearview mirror.

* * *

"Where to?" House finally asked as they drew closer to the highway. "Woods and streams? Parvin State Park maybe? Or you want something closer to the ocean? What's your preference?"

Evie didn't have to think for very long. She would have happily signed up for camping in the woods and canoeing with her dad, especially as she'd have him all to herself this weekend, but if he was giving her a choice she wasn't going to turn down an opportunity to go to the ocean, maybe talk him into driving to Atlantic City to visit the aquarium and if she was really lucky, convince him to take her out on a dolphin watching cruise, something she'd only ever done once since Lily tended to get seasick.

"Can we go to Baker's Acres, dad?" she asked expectantly, biting her lip as she waited for his reply. "We didn't make it there this summer."

Somewhat relieved to see her momentarily perk up, he bobbed his head in acquiescence. "You going to drag me to Atlantic City? Wear a disguise so we can gamble all my hard-earned cash away?"

Evie rolled her eyes at him but then shrugged one shoulder, barely lifting it before dropping it back down. "_Maaaaybe_ I was thinking we could spend a day in Atlantic City but… not to gamble. And I'll… _try _not to spend _all _of your money," she drew out shrewdly.

House snorted but then dryly asked, "Are we really getting out of town because you _need _to get away, or are you really just dragging me off on your own private vacation so you have someone to foot the bill?"

Evie gave him a faint smile but then turned to look out the window, her expression sobering. "I really need this dad," she murmured honestly.

He shot her one more glance, his expression turning serious as well, but before he gave his focus completely to the traffic around him, he wryly mumbled, "Your sisters and brother are _so _going to kill me when we finally come home."

Evie turned back to him and after a moment scooted as close as her seatbelt would allow her before pushing herself up a little to press a kiss to his cheek. "Thanks daddy," she sweetly murmured as he huffed out a breath as if taking off with her really cost him.

House waited until she'd resettled in her seat and returned to staring out the window before allowing one corner of his mouth to curl up. She'd be okay.

* * *

They'd ended up just going through the drive-thru at McDonald's, House not wanting to lose too much time as they'd gotten stuck in traffic for a while and he knew they had to make it before it was too late or they'd miss the cut-off for check-in. He'd plugged in his phone charger shortly after getting on the highway and while Evie had frowned at the gesture, she had not complained. _Although,_ he supposed the fact that she immediately pulled out her cellphone and shut it down at the reminder spoke loud enough for how she felt about outside communication. He'd waited until she ran into a rest stop to use the bathroom though, making her promise first that she'd use one of the family bathrooms so that she'd know no one was lurking inside before entering since this time she'd be going in alone, only then calling Cuddy's cellphone number.

"How is she?" Cuddy immediately asked upon answering, the phone having barely rung once before she'd answered, that fact alone communicating loud and clear that she hadn't let it out of her sight since they'd gone.

"She's fine," he quickly reassured. "She's in the bathroom so I don't have long but I need to know if you can do me a favor. Can you look up the number for Baker's Acres and call them? See if you can make us a reservation for a campsite for the next three nights, at least. Hopefully they aren't booked solid," he grimaced, just thinking about staying in a crowded campground enough to irritate him.

Cuddy drew in a breath, grateful to have him let her know where they were headed and give her something to do as well, but then quickly choked on it when she realized he was suggesting they wouldn't be coming back any sooner than sometime Monday night.

"You… You don't think you'll be home by Sunday night?" she managed to softly ask. "But… she has school Monday."

"Missing a day or two of school won't hurt her," he dismissed before grumbling wryly. "Cuddy, this kid has every intention of dragging me to Atlantic City while we're down there. Sunday night is a little _too _optimistic."

"_But House,"_ she whined pleadingly.

"I'll get her back to you as soon as I can," he grunted semi-reassuringly. "I'm just saying three nights to play it safe."

Cuddy sighed but accepted his request. "Can I… call you back or should I text you?" she hesitantly inquired, especially sensitive to what her daughter was feeling right now.

"Better text me," House wryly acknowledged, glancing out the window to note that Evie was just exiting the rest stop.

"Okay," Cuddy resignedly replied.

"I've gotta go. I'll be in touch later," he rushed to promise before hanging up the phone.

Cuddy opened her mouth to say goodbye but shut it again when the dial tone sounded in her ear. Cupping one cheek, she reluctantly placed her cellphone on the kitchen island before tucking her hair back behind her other ear. Rachel was still next door but the youngest two were currently watching a movie in the living room where she'd left them to take House's call. Straightening finally, she pushed herself away from the island to turn and retrieve her laptop from where she'd left it upon coming home from work. She had a phone number to track down and a call to make.

* * *

Cuddy brought two bowls of popcorn into the living room when she returned, handing them off to C.J. and Lily in turn before sitting down on the couch between the two of them.

"Thanks mommy," Lily said sweetly with a smile.

"Yeah, thanks mom," C.J. chimed in absently, his attention 100% upon the TV screen as he shoved a fistful of popcorn in his mouth.

Cuddy smiled wryly, shaking her head before responding, "You're welcome."

Then she lifted her arm up so that Lily could snuggle back into her like she'd been before House had called.

"Want some?" Lily offered once she was settled into Cuddy's side, holding up the popcorn bowl.

"Thank you baby but I'm good," Cuddy replied, reaching across herself to pick up a piece of popcorn that had fallen into Lily's lap before tossing it back into her bowl.

"Shh," C.J. hushed. "This is the best part."

Cuddy and Lily exchanged looks, Lily grinning at the face her mom made due to C.J.'s present intensity, her son having a tendency to get really absorbed in a flick but _especially_ this one.

If this was any other night with their family watching Avatar 3, C.J. having won the coin toss, right now she and House would be exchanging wryly amused glances while Rachel tried to play peacekeeper, Evie groused about having to watch this movie for the millionth time, Lily giggled and C.J. fought to ignore them all. House would then pinch Evie's arm or grab her foot, cracking her toes as Cuddy cringed and Evie tried to escape, and C.J. would pause the movie with a long-suffering huff but then grin and tag team with his dad, starting a war with the girls, decorative pillows turning into weapons and flying through the air until Cuddy forced them all to settle down so they could finish the movie. Briefly she smiled at the thought before she shrugged it away, knowing it would be accompanied by a pang shooting through her chest if she let herself miss the rest of her family right now.

She reached out then, running her fingers through C.J.'s shaggy locks until he shrugged her off him, though he shot her an accompanying grin all the same, which she returned with a soft smile of her own despite his eyes already being back on the screen.

"I miss daddy," Lily murmured then. "Evie too. I wish everyone was home with us."

"Me too," Cuddy murmured back. "Me too."

* * *

House drove the car in silence, giving Evie some space and time, figuring she'd talk when she was ready to. She hadn't cried since before they'd left, for which he was grateful. He wasn't all that surprised though when she remained silent until they finally pulled into the drive for Baker's Acres.

Parking in front of the office he turned to her and asked, "You coming in or waiting in the car?"

"I'll wait," she decided with a careless shrug of her shoulder, causing House to peer at her concernedly because she almost always tagged along with him, following him wherever he went when they were on vacation.

He pursed his lips but didn't comment on her choice. Instead he shoved open his door before hitting the button to lock the car behind him. Leaning back into the car he instructed solemnly, "Keep the doors locked until I return."

"I'm not a baby, dad," she protested.

The corner of his mouth rose and she immediately rolled her eyes. "You're _my_ baby," he told her then, an eyebrow raised. "You'll _always _be my baby. So do as I say and shut up. You know you love to complain about me treating you like you're five but secretly love every minute of it."

And then he pulled back, straightening before shutting the door behind him, not bothering to glance back at her on his way inside, already knowing she was in the middle of giving him a dirty look.

Cuddy had texted shortly after their phone call to say she had been able to make a reservation and had even lucked out in scoring them the last available campsite anywhere close to one of the restroom sites, though _most unfortunately _she'd teased, that placed him on Cupcake Lane. He'd sneered at the name but the location actually wasn't a bad one. It could have been worse.

Once he'd checked in House returned to the car and then drove over to their campsite. It was already after dark but they managed to get the tent up without any real difficulties, Evie hanging the battery-operated lantern within once it was up. He briefly mused over whether he should have brought the larger tent so the absence of her mom and siblings would be more felt due to its emptiness without them, but he figured Evie would shortly miss them anyway, all on her own.

House put Evie in charge of blowing up the two air mattresses he'd thought to throw in the trunk at the last minute, thankful that they'd bought more expensive models that held air fairly well. At least he wouldn't find himself sleeping on the hard ground in the middle of the night, his bad leg waking him up.

While she worked at accomplishing her task he carted in the supplies they'd need, placing them in one corner of the tent so they were out of the way until Evie had their air mattresses set up however she wanted them. He chucked the sleeping bags at her when she was ready for them, earning himself a half-smile when he clocked her with the first one, causing her to lose her balance where she was squatting and fall back on the nearest air mattress.

Smirking when she just blew out a breath, making the curls that had fallen over her eyes flutter, he turned back to reach for the blankets only to be hit in the middle of the back with the second sleeping bag he'd tossed her moments before. He grunted at the impact but otherwise only reacted by sending her a dirty look over his shoulder.

Retrieving the pillows now he turned back to find Evie had the air mattresses pretty much side by side, only a foot between them. But he quirked an eyebrow at her when he realized she'd placed the sleeping bags so they'd face opposite directions of the tent.

"What?" she defended with a pointed look. "You snore sometimes, dad. If I have to hit you with my pillow to get you to stop, I'm better off having my head more than one arm's length away from you afterwards."

He didn't hesitate to whack her with Cuddy's pillow, Evie actually giggling in response as she tore it away from him. But then as she went to stuff it behind her where he couldn't reach it she realized it was her mom's pillow and threw it back to him. "I want the other one," she said emphatically.

He rolled his eyes, pursing his mouth before switching pillows with her anyway. "Go to bed before you bring the full extent of my wrath upon you," he grumbled at her, throwing Cuddy's pillow onto the other air mattress before tossing a couple blankets her way, just in case.

"But I'm not tired yet," she replied only to yawn a second later.

"I'm not," she asserted when he quirked an eyebrow at her. "It's not that late dad."

He snorted in response but turned back to make sure he had everything they'd need. He'd left her special blanket and stuffed animal in the car and he briefly thought about going back for them but then decided he'd wait to see if there came a time when she needed them more than she did at present. She wasn't little anymore, after all.

"Did you bring cards?" Evie asked him.

He hadn't thought to but Cuddy had. Grabbing them, he tossed them to her so she could shuffle. "What are we playing?" he asked her, already guessing at the answer.

"Poker," she acknowledged, sending him a smile before reaching for her duffle bag with one hand to pull out a big bag of skittles she'd apparently stashed there to divide between them according to color and use as chips, their value system already established.

"What are we playing for? Besides money?" he inquired next, smirking his amusement.

"If I win, you take me on a dolphin watching cruise," she proffered before batting her eyelashes as him hopefully.

He rolled his eyes but nodded his acceptance of her terms. "And if I win you have to go to Insectropolis on the way home with me and hold every bug they'll let you," he smugly stated.

Evie wrinkled her nose but unlike Lily, bugs didn't scare her, they just grossed her out, so she reluctantly nodded her agreement.

"The first to win two out of three hands," he further qualified. "And no cheating," he warned before turning back to his bag to get out what he'd need when they finally went to the bathroom before calling it a night.

"I won't need to," Evie smugly shot back, smiling broadly when her dad gave her a dark look.

* * *

"What time are you going to force me to wake up tomorrow?" he grumbled after they'd come back from brushing their teeth and putting on their pajamas later that night. Saturdays were typically the one day of the week when the whole family really did sleep in later now that the kids were older, not that he expected that to be true this weekend, at least not for them. Even at home though, while the rest of them could sleep until ten, reality was that Cuddy rarely ever slept past 8:30, which meant that _he_ didn't sleep past 8:30 all that often, though typically because he woke up to stop Cuddy from leaving the bed in order to take advantage of the alone time available to them while the kids were still asleep.

Man, there went those plans for his Saturday morning, he internally lamented.

"I don't know. Whenever I wake up," Evie replied with a shrug.

House huffed out a breath but her answer was to be expected since there was no way of knowing when other campers might wake them as they moved about the campgrounds.

"If you have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, wake me up," he grunted as he turned off the lantern before heading back to his sleeping bag.

"Dad. Seriously. Come on. I know. This isn't my first camping trip," she sardonically mumbled, crawling into her own sleeping bag.

"Well, usually your mother would be the one to take you," he wearily replied, not pussy-footing around mentioning Cuddy now since she hadn't mentioned her once since they'd pulled out of the drive.

Evie didn't reply immediately but just when he'd begun to question if she'd fallen asleep, she softly asked, "Dad, will you tell me a story?"

House stared up at the lantern where it dangled, just barely able to make it out as his eyes adjusted to the dark. "What kind of story?" he clarified dubiously, not having expected the request. "A ghost story?"

"No," she corrected quietly, though she failed to clarify further.

"What story?" he prompted after another minute had passed, having been waiting her out.

"Our story," Evie finally murmured. "The one with the dragon."

House's eyebrows shot up instantaneously, it having been a long time since Evie had made that particular request of him. He hadn't told her their "fairy tale" in at least three years now. He was almost surprised to hear she remembered it. Once she'd claimed to be too big for story time, wandering off at bedtime to read on her own, he'd thought that any interest in the fairy tale he'd invented specifically for her, but yeah, Rachel too, was gone, something to be tucked away as belonging to the past. Oh, Cuddy still surprised him sometimes when she was in a particular mood, curling up against his side in the bed, a thigh hooking over his, her hand settling in the center of his belly before she'd murmur in his ear, "Tell me a story, House." And he always knew which one she was really asking for. But he'd long since stopped expecting to hear those words from Evie's mouth. Maybe he'd been wrong in thinking he'd never again be called on to tell it to her. The corner of his mouth curled upwards then, House recognizing that even if he hadn't been asked to tell it, that hadn't meant she'd forgotten. He wondered if tonight in particular she needed to hear it once more.

"The whole thing?" he nevertheless wryly asked, having often shortened it for time's sake. "It's _so long."_

"Yeah," Evie replied adamantly before repeating, "The whole thing."

"_Okay,"_ he agreed finally, though his tone reflected he would do so begrudgingly. "But you better not fall asleep on me. It's too long for me to spend half the night telling it only to discover you fell asleep a couple lines in."

"I won't," she reassured, sighing as he heard her adjust herself upon her pillow, turning her body more towards him then.

"_Once upon a time," _he started out, slowly getting himself into story-telling mood,_ "in a land far, far away, a council of leaders convened to discuss what they were going to do. Their king had decided he was tired of leading them and wanted to spend the rest of his life doing whatever he wanted. That meant they had a problem. Because they really needed a king to lead them but this particular king had no sons, and though they searched far and wide for a prince who might take the King's place, no one suitable was found. In their desperation though, one member of the council suggested that perhaps it was time they expand their search. No one knew what he meant. And when he explained they were all surprised to find him suggesting that they not look for a king at all, but rather, for a QUEEN. They gasped disapprovingly, for the very idea was unheard of. Well, maybe they'd heard rumors of a queen leading without a king, but that was certainly not something THEY had ever considered and certainly nothing they'd ever seen a neighboring kingdom permit. Still, they were desperate. And when they failed to find someone, ANYONE, suitable for the task, the council member's idea began to grow on them. Perhaps a queen was not such a bad idea._

_Not far from that land there lived a fair maiden. She was not a queen, nor even a princess, though her father had been knighted Sir Richard after having fought bravely to win the hand of the fair maiden's mother many years before; Lady Evelyn, who had earned herself the people's love and respect and was often referred to as Cuddles the Great, for her hugs held magical properties that brought healing to many._

(_"That's gramma!"_ House heard his Lil' Bit pipe up in his head as if it was yesterday, his littlest girl rocking herself up on her knees back when she'd only been three years old, to bounce once on the bed in excitement as she did every time he was suckered into telling them this tale.)

_This fair maiden's name was Lisa and while she was not a queen, nor even a princess, she was well-known for being more knowledgeable than many, more hard-working than most, but most especially, more stubborn than anyone else ALIVE. Yes, this particular fair maiden stood out from all others because nothing ever seemed to stop her from whatever it was she wanted to do. And in this particular instance, what she wanted most of all was to rule all of Princeton-Plainsboro, for the people needed SOMEONE to lead them in the king's place. Why not her? After all, she was just bossy enough. She'd even won a trophy and held the title for being the bossiest female in all the land._

(Cuddy would always glare at him at this point.)

_And so she decided she was going to do whatever it took to become queen. And she was just determined enough to do it! She met with the council, offering herself up to be considered for the position and to the surprise of many, the council decided to give her a try, not having encountered any queens available to them anyway. The fair maiden took over as leader of the great kingdom of Princeton-Plainsboro and she did so well that they quickly decided to officially inaugurate her as their queen. Queen Lisa ruled for quite some time with an iron fist, but anyone you could have asked would have told you she did so better than anyone else ever had._

(_"Well, when mommy stops being queen, which one of us will take her place?"_ A six year old Rachel had interrupted to ask one night.

"_Maybe none of you will want to be queen,"_ Cuddy had proposed, smiling as she reached out to stroke back Rachel's hair so it wasn't in her face, two year old Lilabeth in her lap and Evie beside her. _"It's not always a whole lot of fun. You might prefer to do something else."_

"_But the queen gets to boss the king around, all day long,"_ Rachel had innocently replied with solemnity, her gaze focused on her mommy. _"Isn't that fun? Daddy says you like to be the boss. And I like to boss Evie around sometimes, even though I'm not supposed to. Daddy says I get in trouble for it because princesses aren't the boss. Daddy says bossing people around is something only the queen can do. He says that's because the queen is the bossiest of all."_

House had snorted and then averted his gaze as Cuddy's eyes shot daggers at him.

He'd laughed though when Cuddy had sighed heavily in resignation before finally, rather dryly mumbling, _"It might be fun to be queen if bossing the king around actually meant he'd do what I say. Most of the time though, it's just a lot of work. And the king doesn't listen so well."_)

_Well, time passed and Queen Lisa ruled her kingdom sternly but fairly. Many people came to the kingdom of Princeton-Plainsboro because she was such a good queen and because her kingdom was well-known for how well it worked. One person to come there was someone she'd known, once long ago. And as Queen Lisa could do whatever she wished, as she WAS the boss, she decided to make sure this certain someone stuck around for a while. So what did she do? She hired him to be her court jester, for she sorely needed one. His job was not just to amuse but to poke fun of her and anyone else belonging to her kingdom, as all licensed jester's were expected to do back then. And while many people objected to her hiring her old friend Gregory the Foolish as court jester, he WAS particularly good at his job. Even if sometimes he drove the queen crazy as well._

(The girls would always glance at Cuddy then if she was in the room, giggling at how she'd narrow her eyes at him and cross her arms over her chest for effect.)

_But as more and more time went by, Queen Lisa began to think more and more about whether or not what she REALLY needed in her kingdom was a prince to marry and accompany her in her tasks as king. She was not getting any younger, after all. She looked near and far, even sending her messengers back to her hometown of JDate to search for her, but no suitable prince was to be found. And that was when she realized she didn't NEED a prince. No. There was something else she wanted more. What Queen Lisa REALLY wanted was a little princess all her own. And this time when she searched she got lucky, for her very own princess was born shortly thereafter and quickly came home to the castle with her._

(_"That's Rachel," _Evie would volunteer, Rachel suddenly turning shy as the spotlight went to her, blushing as she buried her face and bit back a bright smile, everyone's eyes on her.)

_Princess Rachel made the queen very happy. In fact, Queen Lisa considered herself to be the luckiest queen in all the land. And then she thought she'd gotten even luckier, for she found a prince she wanted to marry who she thought would make a fine king and a good daddy for her little princess."_

"Only that made her jester very sad," Evie surprised him by interrupting to whisper quite seriously. "For he secretly loved her and had loved her for a very long time."

House paused, having to swallow before he resumed the story, Evie apparently having added in the part she wanted to make sure he wouldn't leave out now, which he had to admit to having sometimes attempted to do as he'd teasingly tried to blow off that part, since his girls would often immediately wriggle their way closer to him, fawning over him sadly and patting him as if he was still that court jester, needing some tender loving care because his queen didn't seem to love him back.

"He did," he agreed quietly in the stillness of the tent before picking back up where he'd left off.

"_That made the queen's jester very sad, for he secretly loved her and had loved her for a very long time. Only he knew that he was just a simple jester, not a prince deserving of her respect and love, and so being the jester that he was, he poked fun of the queen and her prince and made all sorts of trouble for them, but in the back of his mind he was thinking, trying to figure out a way in which he could yet win the queen's affection for himself._

_Now, this was back when dragons roamed the land, looking for people to devour. But not all dragons were fire-breathers, as most people today think of them as, their heads filled only with thoughts of treasure and a desire to stuff their lairs with gold. No, some of the most deadly dragons around didn't breathe fire at all, nor did they care for treasure. These dragons - they weren't all that interested in roasting someone to a crisp with their fiery breath anyway. THESE particular dragons were really nasty. They didn't quickly blast their victims to death. Instead they lay in wait, creeping in the shadows, their smoky breath poisoning the air and creating a fog that swallowed up the land around them while they silently watched their prey, waiting for the perfect moment before sneaking up on them and opening their jaws to swallow a person alive, their bellies grumbling loudly, hungry for someone who they could little by little feed off of, not by eating their flesh but by eating one by one, every happy thought they had until all their victim felt was sadness and despair._

(Cuddy used to get after him for that, fully expecting that he'd give the girls bad dreams with his talk of dragons that lurked in the shadows to swallow people whole. But once he'd already told the tale there was no changing it for the girls already expected that part, anticipating it with eyes wide open, sometimes rushing ahead of him in the story to get there.)

_These dragons were MEAN. Because unlike other dragons made happy by treasures untold, these dragons were forever miserable, never experiencing happiness, not even when they were robbing one of their victims of what little happiness he had. And the worst part was, their victims sat in those dragons' tummies and the longer they sat, the less they remembered things that caused happy thoughts and some even turned into dragons themselves, so miserable did their lack of happy thoughts make them._

_Well, the jester wasn't doing much better than those miserable dragons. His beloved queen intended to marry her prince and no matter what he did, the queen did not seem to return his affection. He even tried to steal a kiss from the queen, but she only pushed him away._

_And then one day everything changed. Because the queen's prince went to her and told her he couldn't marry her, for her lowly court jester was in love with her and the prince was not so sure that the queen wasn't also secretly in love with HIM. He told the queen then that she ought to consider marrying the court jester instead, naming him her king. And then he disappeared, going on a long voyage that took him far, far away from the kingdom of Princeton-Plainsboro before the queen could convince him not to leave._

_Well, the queen had expected to be marrying her prince and needless to say, when he vanished after telling her to marry the court jester she was not at all happy. In fact, she was very upset. She was so upset that she thought the best thing to do would be to go find her prince and drag him back to the castle with her so they could work things out. The jester tried to stop her. He even slipped her a love potion that he'd paid a great price for, hoping she'd fall in love with him then and forget altogether that stinky prince of hers. But the queen didn't want his love potion. And so she spit it right out in his face. And then she ran off to look for her prince._

_She searched high and low but no matter how hard she searched he was nowhere to be found. Unfortunately for the queen though, while she had been searching desperately for her prince, climbing mountains, crossing rivers and cutting across neighboring foothills, something else had found HER._

(_"A dragon!" _Lil' Bit would interrupt him to interject back when she'd been small and he'd still found himself telling the girls this story, C.J. little more than a baby at the time. She'd rock back up on her knees again to bare her teeth as she snarled, her hands curling to mimic claws as she squinted at him rather comically, House having to lock his jaw so as to suppress a grin and not ruin the somber mood of where they were now at in the story.)

_It was a dragon that had found her! And not a fire-breathing, treasure-coveting dragon but a dragon that ate one's happy thoughts, and one of the meanest, strongest and unhappiest that ever lived at that. This dragon had been following the queen as she searched for her missing prince and unwittingly, the queen began to breathe his poisonous breath as it swirled around her while she stumbled through the foggiest of valleys, never realizing that danger lurked so close by. And the farther she wandered from her kingdom and her little princess too while in search of the prince, the unhappier the poor queen became, for the dragon was little by little using his poisonous fog to confuse, sadden and trap her so that he could gobble her right up._

_The court jester meanwhile had set out after his beloved queen, for he'd made a discovery that had astounded him greatly and so he'd sworn himself to searching for her until he could tell her his news. What had he discovered, you ask? Well, he'd discovered that the love potion he'd given the queen, despite having been spit out, had nevertheless performed a bit of magic on her and because of this magic, the queen would shortly be blessed with another little princess to call her own who would also be princess Rachel's baby sister. His greatest hope was that upon learning of the second princess to come, perhaps the queen would forget her prince entirely and allow the poor jester to love both her and her two little princesses, with all he had. BUT to the jester's dismay, by the time he got to his queen that mean old dragon had already swallowed her whole._

_Now, the jester was no prince. He had no real experience doing what princes do. He'd never gone to battle. He'd never even rescued a fair maiden. He was fairly sure he wasn't good at that sort of thing. But the minute he saw that old dragon from the mountain overlooking the valley where the dragon had his lair, having tracked the queen that far, he KNEW his queen had been eaten and was stuck inside that nasty dragon's belly with no hope of escape. The only problem was: how was he to rescue her? As he wasn't a prince he had no noble steed, nor a sword sharp enough to pierce that dragon's thick scales to kill him. Nor did he have any idea at all as to how to go about freeing her from the dragon's clutches, even should he have been a prince with noble steed and sword. And he hadn't seen another person in days so it wasn't as if he could seek out someone's counsel. THAT'S when he realized that the only way to get to her was to descend into the valley and enter that dragon's belly himself. Yes, the court jester decided, he would HAVE to be swallowed by that dragon too. There was no other way. Not when there wasn't a moment to lose._

_The court jester didn't feel particularly brave. He wasn't even sure he'd be successful in his mission. But all the same that jester, Gregory the Foolish, marched down into that valley as if he was not a lowly jester but instead, a noble knight, willing to pay whatever cost in order to rescue his lady love and the babe he knew was even now growing in her belly, Princess Evie._

_With every step he took he descended a little more into the fog, and the closer he drew to that dragon's lair the sadder he grew, breathing in that dragon's poisonous breath. The dragon saw him coming and twitched his long tail. But the dragon did not fear the jester, for he had no noble steed and no sharp sword with which to threaten him. He had no armor, nor even a shield with which to try and protect himself. Clearly he was no prince but just a fool unwisely approaching a deadly dragon. And so instead of seeing him as dangerous, that dragon viewed the jester as dessert and opened his jaw wide to swallow him up as well._

_The court jester approached the dragon and upon seeing him up close, swallowed hard. He quickly realized that dragon had razor sharp teeth and while his name was Gregory the Foolish, that did NOT mean he was too stupid to be afraid when there was plenty to be afraid of. BUT his queen WAS inside, he knew she was, and whether or not he'd be able to escape that dragon's belly once within, the court jester could not turn back from his quest now. And so he bravely stepped up to be swallowed whole and in the time it took to blink he found himself in that dragon's belly._

_Now this dragon had been around for a long time. He was one very big dragon. And the court jester quickly realized that he could not remain where he was, for he had a queen to find in that dragon's enormous belly. That was not going to be an easy task. He crawled forward a foot and then another and with every shuffle further within the dragon's belly he took in search of his queen, the jester was swallowed up by that much more darkness. It only got darker and darker and darker, until he couldn't even see his hand if he held it up in front of his face. But the jester did not give up. He did not turn back. No, he continued deeper and deeper into the depths of the dragon's belly until finally, he could go no further and THAT'S when he found his queen where she sat, so very sad and alone, almost all her happy thoughts gone, having been swallowed up by that terrible dragon._

_The jester thought if he could only lead his queen back out the way he came then perhaps they'd have a chance at escaping. But no matter how he tried to talk the queen into following him, she would not leave her spot but sat there, increasingly miserable. She could not understand why following him back out of the dragon would be any better than remaining where she was. And what Gregory the Foolish quickly realized was that the queen no longer had any happy thoughts left to her at all. The dragon had already eaten every last one. She could not remember the blue sky or the green grass or the birds that sang. She could not remember her fine prince or her kingdom. And saddest of all, she could not remember her beautiful little princess who waited at home for her return._

_The jester was not sure what he was to do. How could they escape if the queen did not wish to follow him? He could not leave her here in the belly of the dragon. That would not do at all. No, he had come to rescue her, but how?_

_Just then the queen cried out as if in great pain. Gregory the Foolish didn't know what was happening. He'd heard that people swallowed by dragons, when they lost their last happy thought, sometimes turned into dragons themselves. But he was not sure if that was true. Now he worried. Was his beloved queen to turn into a dragon? And if she did, what was he to do?_

_BUT the queen was not turning into a dragon. What Gregory the Foolish didn't realize, having lost his own happy thought of his happy news to share with the queen in entering that foul dragon, was that the second little princess, growing within the belly of the queen due to that magical love potion, was soon to be born._

_And when she was born, something truly magical happened. For there was one rule that these dragons who swallowed people and fed off of their happy thoughts, lived by. And that was that they NEVER swallowed children. For children are filled with the happiest thoughts that could ever be thought up, and the bellies of these dragons were never meant to hold such happy thoughts as those thought by children. In swallowing the queen then, that dragon had made a TERRIBLE mistake. And when the baby princess was born, she filled the terrible darkness of that dragon's belly with so much light due to her happy thoughts that the dragon could not contain it. His belly burst right open and that awful dragon was no more. Princess Evie had saved them all!_

_BUT, even now that the queen, the jester and the new baby princess were free of the belly of that dragon, their adventure was not at a close. For it did not take the jester long at all to realize that the queen, having been in the belly of that dragon so long, HAD in fact STARTED to turn into a dragon, though her transformation was not yet complete. In the sunlight that shone down on them now that the fog had lifted from the valley he could see that the queen had BEGUN to grow scales. And most unfortunately, he realized that those scales seemed to be keeping all her happy thoughts out, preventing her from remembering the things that made her happiest of all, even now that she was free of that nasty dragon._

_The jester didn't know what to do. He needed to take care of the new baby princess that had been born, but he also needed to look after his queen and get her back to her first little princess. Only, how could he do BOTH? And then he remembered something important. He remembered who his fair queen's mother was, or rather, he remembered the legend of Cuddles the Great, whose hugs were said to contain magical properties and bring healing to many. And he thought, 'If I can just get the queen back to Lady Evelyn, perhaps her healing hugs will work their magic on the queen's scales and they will one by one fall away, giving the queen back her happy thoughts and preventing her from truly becoming a dragon.'_

_So that's what he did. He journeyed with the queen and the baby princess until finally they entered the kingdom of Princeton-Plainsboro once more, and then he sent a messenger to call the queen's mother, Lady Evelyn, also known as Cuddles the Great, begging her to come heal her daughter with her magical hugs._

_Well, Lady Evelyn did not hesitate. She came quick as could be. And while Gregory the Foolish took care of the new baby princess, Cuddles the Great began to work her magic upon the terribly sad queen. It was not easy. Those scales that kept the queen so sad still were even more stubborn than the queen herself and they did not want to melt away. But Cuddles the Great prevailed. She kept on hugging Queen Lisa until one by one, those scales dried out and peeled off, restoring her to the beautiful queen she'd been before. And when the last of those scales fell, the queen was FINALLY able to remember ALL her happy thoughts. She remembered how much she loved the kingdom of Princeton-Plainsboro, she remembered how much she loved being queen, and most importantly, she remembered her beautiful little princess Rachel and just how happy she made her. And she made some new discoveries too. For she suddenly realized that deep down inside she'd ALWAYS secretly loved her court jester. She'd just been too scared to admit it because well, sometimes love can be a scary thing. And equally important was her realization that the baby born to her of the love potion she'd drank but then tried to spit out, was perhaps the greatest blessing she could have asked for, even if she hadn't realized the value of the potion when the court jester had first tried to give it to her._

_Queen Lisa quickly hugged her mother, Lady Evelyn, thanking her for her magical hugs and healing and for saving her from her sadness. And then she scooped up her princess Rachel and ran as fast as she could to the house of the jester, where he lived right outside of Princeton-Plainsboro with the littlest princess, Princess Evie, who'd been given into his care. Once there Queen Lisa kissed her second little princess and confessed her love to her lowly court jester who, despite not being a prince, was nevertheless her true love. And the jester couldn't have been happier, for now he had Queen Lisa's heart and he also had two little princesses all his own. And they lived happily ever after._

The story of course had been adapted many times in all the time he'd told it, mainly to satisfy someone's request, whether it was tweaked to include Cookie Monster or expanded upon to include Lilabeth and Caleb James. There were even adaptations to expand on just how Queen Lisa had found her first baby princess. But in general the main outline had remained the same, House's original purpose in making it up having been to somehow prep his kids as much as he could, Evie in particular, for the reality that like it or not, they would one day find out more than he wished them to in regards to the events surrounding Evie's birth. Now, as he lay in his sleeping bag with Evie beside him, he wondered if the fairy tale version of events had helped at all.

Several more minutes passed before he gave in and mumbled gruffly, "You were the best thing to ever happen to me, kid."

He heard rustling as Evie shifted about and then made out her movement in the dark as she got up, still in her sleeping bag and hopped about a bit while nudging her mattress closer to his with her foot through her sleeping bag. Then, once her mattress was up against his she lay back down on it, reversing directions so that her head was beside his.

"You wanted me from the beginning, right daddy?" she asked hesitantly in a soft murmur, turning her head towards him to stare at him in the dark.

His kid was killing him with this "daddy" business, not having called him that in a long time and now using it regularly.

"From the moment I knew you were on your way," he firmly murmured back, understanding that what she perhaps needed to know was that she _had _been wanted.

He cleared his throat but then admitted honestly, "Until that moment I'd never really wanted kids. I'd never considered it seriously; never thought I'd be any good at being a dad. Grandpa House died several years before you were born and… we'd never had a good relationship. He wasn't all that great at being a dad. And Grandpa Henry, well… I knew who he was but he hadn't raised me. He came and went when I was a kid and then I didn't see him for years. So… I never thought of myself as being dad material. And then your mom got pregnant with you and… there was nothing I wanted more than to have you Evie; to be your dad."

They both got a little lost in thought then until Evie broke the silence to murmur reassuringly, "You're a _great_ dad."

"I am," he agreed seriously before allowing his mouth to curve upwards.

Evie giggled and leaned up enough to grab her pillow from under her head to smack him with it but House already knew what she was up to and so he reached for her sleeping bag and gave it a sharp tug, causing Evie to lose her balance and fall back as he pulled it close enough so that she was now partly on his air mattress with him, allowing him to pin her with one arm so that she lacked the range of motion to really clock him with her pillow.

"Dad!" she complained when her struggles met with little success.

"Go to sleep," he ordered.

"Then let me go," Evie whined back.

"Not unless you promise you'll leave me alone and let me sleep in peace," he grumbled.

She twitched beneath his arm but then huffed out a breath before peevishly acquiescing, _"Fine."_

He smirked but released her, chuckling as she jerked about while trying to get back on her own mattress and resettle herself.

In retaliation for finding her amusing Evie stretched dramatically, making sure to place her arm right where her dad's neck was and then use it to force his face up a few inches.

"Sorry," she apologized when he grunted, though her tone lacked any genuine signs of repentance.

"Remember when Rachel thought it would be funny to put shaving cream in my hand while I was sleeping and then tickle my face?" he asked with underlying menace.

"_Dad! You wouldn't!"_ she gasped out, shoving herself upright on her air mattress to stare at him in the dark, knowing he wasn't referring to what Rachel had done on their last camping trip but to what he'd retaliated by doing, sneaking in the bathhouse to dump a five-pound bag of flour on Rachel while she was in the shower.

"Oh, I would," he reassured seriously. "And your mother isn't here to stop me."

Evie scoffed. "Yeah, because she really stopped you then," she sarcastically retorted. "She agreed to be your look-out while you snuck into the bathhouse as long as you'd promise to do your part to protect her from the pranking war!"

House grinned and it carried over into his voice when he replied slyly, "Just think how hard it would be to get five pounds of flour out of _your_ hair. If it took Rachel several days to get it all out of hers…"

"_Dad!_" she protested, interrupting him. "No polar bear pranking!"

"Then go to bed, Evie," he wryly grunted. "Your old man is too _old _for pillow fights and all-nighters."

She bit her lip but giggled a second later.

"I mean it," he drawled out in warning.

"Okay, okay," she relented, biting her lip again before asking softly, "But you'll take me on a dolphin watching cruise tomorrow, right?"

"Like I have a choice," he wryly replied. "You won fair and square."

"But only because that last card was exactly what I needed to complete my royal flush and beat your full house," she soothed cajolingly. "You did win the first hand."

"I'll take you," he mumbled, sleep just beyond his reach. "Now go to bed."

"Alright daddy," she concurred sweetly before finally lying back on her mattress.

House didn't have the energy to roll his eyes but he did mumble out, "I love you, kid."

"Me too, dad," she whispered back before turning on her side, away from him.

House's mouth quirked up but he did not open his eyes. Instead he lay there and waited for her breathing to smooth out before he himself finally surrendered to sleep's pull.

* * *

Cuddy frowned at her silent cellphone, having hoped that House would call her once more before he went to bed. He _had _texted while in the bathroom brushing his teeth to let her know they'd made it and had their campsite all set up. But he'd also said he'd call if he got the chance to once Evie was out for the count.

Apparently he hadn't gotten that chance.

Sliding the phone further away from her, she huffed out a breath before tearing her eyes away from it where it lay on her nightstand, getting to her feet to go check in on the kids one final time. She started first with Lily, the door cracked to what had been originally the nursery until they'd moved C.J. upstairs by converting the upstairs office/library back into a bedroom for him once they'd moved the office to the basement. Rachel and Evie had shared the room that was originally Rachel's alone for a number of years after Lily's birth, allowing them to also have a guest room upstairs with a private bathroom, up until they'd decided to move the two girls into the master bedroom and use the other bedroom for Lily, C.J. then having the nursery to himself. And then when a seven year old C.J. moved upstairs nine year old Lily had asked to be back downstairs, closer to mommy and daddy, and once again the nursery had been redecorated with her in mind. Hearing that Lily was moving downstairs, an eleven year old Evie had at that point requested to have Lily's old room, allowing her a room to herself and Rachel as well, which worked out all around as it served to reduce whatever disagreements the two oldest girls sometimes found themselves in through sharing a room and rarely escaping one another. _Now,_ each kid had their own bedroom and while Rachel did have a bathroom all to herself in the master bedroom, C.J. and Evie sharing the main upstairs bathroom, Rachel had been very good about continuing to share her bathroom when C.J. was driving Evie up the wall with toothpaste messes in the sink or whatever other signs of havoc he sometimes wrecked, being the least organized of their four children.

He was getting better though Cuddy reminded herself before concentrating on Lily as she snuck into her room and moved silently towards her bed.

Lilabeth Grace was lying on her belly facing away from her bedroom door, one arm tucked up under her pillow and her opposite leg drawn up to the side, her foot not under her comforter but tucked back upon it. Cuddy smiled widely her great affection for her youngest girl as she reached out to tuck a lock of her daughter's black hair back and out of her face before tugging the blankets up a little higher about her, not bothering to try and ease her daughter's leg back under the blankets, for Lily would just extract it again in her sleep.

House sometimes liked to call Lily, Evie's mini-me. And it was true appearance-wise, for short of her hair being slightly lighter in color than Evie's and not quite as curly, Lily looked _exactly_ like her older sister had at her age. Her sweet little Lilabeth Grace, she mused lovingly. They'd had a hard time settling on a name for her. No matter what Cuddy suggested, House had insisted if she was a girl he wanted to name the baby after her mother and Cuddy had thought he was just giving her a hard time until right before she was born, when House dug his heels in and told her how serious he was. He'd clarified that he didn't mean he wanted to name her Lisa. But he didn't see why they couldn't go with Elisabeth, since Lisa was a diminutive of that. She, however, had wanted to go with Grace, because she'd never expected to become pregnant again when Evie's conception seemed miraculous enough, and felt like grace had clearly been extended to her in another chance to have a child with House, this time present from the very beginning. Someone was going to have to cave, she'd asserted at that point. And inside, she'd fully expected it to be her. But House had suggested Elisabeth Grace as a practical solution, which she'd wavered on, smugly telling him _if _she agreed to that, then as with Evie she'd just call the baby by her middle name. He'd grumbled and complained and then finally he'd asked what her beef was with Elisabeth. She just didn't really care for it, Cuddy had admitted. And she wasn't so big on the idea of naming a child after herself, even if it wasn't actually her own first name. He'd frowned, walking away, and she hadn't been sure that any decision had been reached but determined to leave the argument for another day. Only, when she crawled into bed beside him that night, he'd turned to her, studying her for a long moment before his eyes moved to her belly, his hand reaching out to settle upon it, tracing circles upon her by that time sizeable baby bump.

"What about Lilabeth Grace?" he'd suggested. "You'd still get your Grace and I'd compromise by crossing Elisabeth with Lily."

Cuddy had wrinkled her nose as she considered his suggestion, his hand now tracing hearts on her belly and earning him an affectionate eye roll for it. "I don't know," she'd finally murmured uncertainly, wryly adding, "Doesn't it sound like someone with a lisp trying to say 'Elisabeth?''"

House had snorted, rolling his eyes right back at her. "I like it," he'd mumbled after a pause, once more watching his hand upon her belly. "And if we spelt it L-I-L-A-B-E-T-H, then it would incorporate Lila, which means 'you are mine' in Hebrew. Rachel started out yours, Evie started out mine, but… _this baby _is both of ours and has been from day one. I kind of like the significance of that too."

She'd stared at him, biting her lip, waiting until he glanced back at her before she murmured, "I love you," leaning into him to kiss him softly, once, twice, thrice.

"Is that a yes?" he'd clarified with an eyebrow quirked, his mouth an inch from hers.

"It's a yes," she'd agreed, placing her hand over his where it remained on her belly. "Lilabeth Grace House. _If _she's not a _he_, of course."

And she hadn't even begrudged him the smirk of victory he'd given her then.

Pressing a kiss to her index and middle finger now, Cuddy bent slightly to place it upon Lily's brow before she reluctantly drew away, slipping from her daughter's room to begin her ascent to the second floor and her other children's bedrooms.

She wavered at the top of the stairs but decided to leave Evie's room for last, heading instead for C.J.'s. Pushing lightly on the door she stepped in, waiting until her eyes adjusted before moving from the doorway, only a nightlight being on in the hall and all too accustomed to causing herself excruciating pain by stepping on toys that had carelessly been left out on the floor. She'd thought by now C.J. would have learned to pick up better, being that he sometimes got up in the night to go to the bathroom. She'd grumbled to House once while crossing paths with him at bedtime as he exited Evie's room and she entered, pausing in the doorway to rub her foot after having stepped on a Lego, demanding to know how it was that she was always getting stabbed in the feet while crossing their son's room but C.J. never seemed to have any trouble. He'd given her a wry smile and muttered, _"Yeah, but think about it. That kid's like a race car; all about speed. He's 'go, go, go,' right from the moment he leaps out of bed in the morning. But once that kid finally runs out of energy he's like a car running on empty. He drags himself to bed. Have you watched him walk when he's out of it? He shuffles. His feet never break contact with the floor. Try walking like him next time you go in his room and you'll see. You just have to learn to walk the walk, not just talk the talk,"_ he'd added slyly, patting her butt as if in encouragement before continuing on to the next kid's room.

Cuddy rolled her eyes at the remembrance but then continued into the room, shaking her head when she caught herself doing as House suggested, so as to spare her feet agony, just in case she couldn't distinguish a toy from the carpeting in the dark. Beside the bed now she released a soft sigh. If Lily was Evie's mini-me, C.J. was House's. Caleb James, their "whole hearted" son, named in part to honor Wilson as House had wished to, but Caleb because that had been their joint desire for him, for him to be whole hearted, a happy-go-lucky kid with no baggage but a lot of spirit, a kid who never doubted he was loved and who knew his parents delighted in him.

They hadn't expected to have another child after Lily. They'd thought they were done, their family truly complete. They hadn't been young when they started, so they'd hardly expected to have _another_ baby. In fact, Cuddy had thought she was going through menopause. And she had been headed there. But she hadn't been far enough into it to not get pregnant, apparently, for before too long she found herself telling House she was pregnant once more, despite his already knowing unbeknownst to her.

Cuddy had worried she was too old and the baby wouldn't be healthy because of it. She'd been concerned with Lilabeth. But House had never worried about that at all. He'd been all reassurances and proud struts. At least he had been until they'd found out it wouldn't be another girl. And _then _they'd switched roles. He'd been almost anxious and she'd been reassurances and proud struts, thrilled to be giving House a boy, despite knowing he would have been more than happy to have another girl and perhaps _happier _at the time if it had been so, for he really had struggled with the idea of parenting a son when his own father had done so poorly with him.

But Cuddy had just smiled and soothed, as much as she could. Because there was no chance of House repeating his father's mistakes and anyone who knew their three girls could have testified to that. She knew Wilson had, more than once. Erika too.

House was still more cautious and thoughtful with C.J. than he'd been even with the girls, which really said something. And sometimes it drove her crazy to have him be so wary of doing the wrong thing. But C.J. seemed oblivious. He certainly never took advantage when he easily could have. It just wasn't in his nature. House sometimes jokingly bemoaned that. While Evie had much more of House in her, personality-wise, C.J. was extremely easy-going and rarely if ever tested boundaries. He was just your typical boy who loved sports, played hard, was known to sometimes be a prankster, and yes, fell into the category of decidedly messy. And thankfully, he was carefree, as they'd hoped for him to be, not easily troubled by anything and clearly aware that he held a special place in his family, adored by his sisters.

C.J. had kicked his sheets off completely and so Cuddy pulled them back up to cover him before smoothing his shaggy light brown hair back. Someday she'd get him to cut it, she wryly thought to herself as she stroked through it once more, knowing she could get away with it because he was just like his father as a boy, completely out of it and snoring lightly while sprawled out on his back, arms and legs akimbo.

Not worried about waking him, she allowed herself to bend down and press a kiss to his warm rosy cheek. Maybe she needed to turn the thermostat down slightly, she thought then, recognizing he'd probably kicked the blanket off because he'd overheated, something he often did when he was asleep and which had worried her back when he was a baby, not yet used to this tendency of his, not even after Blythe had reassured her that Greg too had been just that way.

Turning, she headed for the hallway, shuffling her feet carefully while making a mental note to turn the temperature down once she was back downstairs.

Leaving his door halfway open now to not trap heat in his room further, her eyebrows drew together at the light spilling out from Rachel's cracked door. Moving in that direction she glanced down at her wrist out of habit only to find she'd already taken the watch House had given her for their last anniversary off, a watch she'd teased him about and accused him of having forgotten which anniversary they were even celebrating. He'd just snidely told her if it hadn't been fifteen years yet, it still _felt_ like he'd been stuck with this ball and chain forever.

Knocking lightly then she waited for Rachel to grant her permission to enter before she pushed the door open and stepped inside, closing it behind her so as to not awaken anyone, as if it was even necessary when C.J. would sleep through anything at this point.

Rachel sat up against her headboard, pillows propping her up, knees drawn up under the blanket and tucked into her chest. The light Cuddy had seen from the doorway came from the lamp on her nightstand which was still on. Cuddy moved across the floor and then sank down on the bed beside her oldest.

Leaning towards her she stretched out a hand to catch the lock of hair that was only loosely tucked behind Rachel's ear and draped her face in part, re-tucking it for her daughter before glancing at the alarm clock beside the bed. "You're not sleeping?" she asked, even though the answer was obvious. "It's after midnight and you usually crash by ten-thirty. What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Rachel replied, sighing softly before giving her mother a small smile.

Cuddy's lips pursed as she studied her daughter, her eyes narrowing. "What's troubling you?" she guessed, going off her daughter's expression and mood. "Did something happen with Trevor?"

"Oh! No," Rachel dismissed. "Everything's fine. Great, actually. Trev helped me go over my flash cards and then quizzed me. He said there's no way I'm not going to ace my test Monday," she shared, a smile stealing over her lips before she confided quietly, "I'm really glad he comes home on the weekends instead of staying at school, mom."

Cuddy laughed but then murmured back, "I know you are," reaching out to briefly cup her cheek before dropping her hand.

"He's just…" Rachel trailed off, smiling as she looked up at the ceiling. _"Mmm."_

"_Oh boy,"_ Cuddy wryly replied, shaking her head. "Don't let your father catch you like this."

"Gramma says I'm twitterpated," Rachel admitted with a laugh, fluttering her eyelashes for effect.

"And that is _exactly _what your dad doesn't want," Cuddy dryly responded before pursing her lips.

"I won't tell him," Rachel murmured, biting back a smile as her mom gave her a look as if to say she didn't have to because he already knew and didn't like it.

Rachel nodded to indicate she knew he knew and then shrugged as if to say "What can _I_ do about it?"

"So if it's not Trevor, what is it? What's keeping you awake?" Cuddy pressed, returning to topic.

Rachel sighed and then looked away before asking, "When will dad and Evie be back?"

Cuddy moistened her lips but replied after a moment, "I'm not sure. Maybe Monday?"

Rachel frowned to find her mother apparently uncertain as to when they'd get home.

"Is that what's bothering you?" Cuddy asked, mildly surprised as Rachel had come home and promptly been told by Lily that Evie and their dad were going to be gone for a few days, but had not said anything afterwards to indicate she was particularly troubled by that news.

"Well, she was really upset earlier. And then they just take off? When does dad _ever_ do that? He only ever leaves on the weekends if he _has_ to. And if he has to, usually he tries to drag us all _with_. So for him to go… with no warning… And with Evie… I just… I don't know what to think," Rachel concluded with a shrug, raising her eyes from the duvet on her bed to meet her mother's gaze, still frowning. "Lily said that you told her Evie just needed some time with dad. She thinks it's… a daddy date night or something. But… when has a daddy date night ever lasted that long?"

Cuddy sucked in her own breath and then slowly released it, breaking their gaze as she tried to think of what to say. The younger two kids hadn't been thrilled to hear their dad wouldn't be home all weekend but they'd let it go fairly quickly, Cuddy doing what she could to distract and reassure them before it could bother them too much. Lily's only protest to follow had been at bedtime when she wanted to call her daddy and chat at him before wishing him goodnight. But Cuddy had turned her down, promising that she could call him in the morning instead, and Lily had been okay with that, if reluctantly so.

Rachel… Rachel was another story. Lily hadn't been home earlier and C.J. had dismissed what had taken place completely as if it was your typical _girl_ drama. They'd easily accepted her vague explanations. But Rachel was older, had known Evie was upset, had herself attempted to cajole her sister only to meet with no success, and knew better than to think the two would just disappear like that without a good reason. She would not be easily reassured, nor distracted. And Cuddy wasn't sure of just what to tell her, but she could see in Rachel's expression that her daughter was also concerned that she might have dismissed her sister's distress and let her down. Rachel was generally very conscientious when it came to her siblings. Cuddy didn't want her to blame herself for House and Evie's sudden departure.

Sighing unaware, she rubbed a hand over her face before trying to think of how to explain.

"Mom?" Rachel questioned, her voice reflecting her growing concern.

"Okay," she murmured, nodding her head as to gather herself before moistening her lips again. "Okay. Well, um… You already know that Evie was… upset and that I sent dad upstairs to talk to her, once he got home from work."

"Yeah," Rachel interjected with a nod, prompting her to continue while leaning forward as she waited for her mom to go on.

"Well, dad talked to her and… I guess while she was going through my things, looking for something to wear for Spirit Week, she… found something that… bothered her," Cuddy hedged uncomfortably.

Leaning back warily due to her mother's obvious discomfort, Rachel turned her head away slightly, wrinkling her nose before asking in disgust several seconds later, "Eww. _Mom._ You aren't going to tell me she found something… _gross,_ are you?"

"What?" Cuddy asked in bewilderment now, shaking her head slightly as she stared at her oldest, brows drawn together.

"_MOM,"_ Rachel mumbled, inclining her head pointedly. "Like… nasty lingerie or _condoms_ or something."

"What?!" Cuddy struggled to reply, blinking rapidly, straightening back as well. "_No!_ Not something like… _that,_" she awkwardly corrected before embarrassing them both by blurting out, "Honey, we don't use condoms. I can't have any more babies."

"_OH MOM!" _Rachel immediately rebuked in horror, her hands coming up to flutter about in the air in revulsion at hearing _that_ and understanding the implication as she cringed away from Cuddy before bringing her hands down to scoot farther away on the bed. "That's _SO disgusting! _I don't want to _hear that! _As if dad isn't bad enough as it is, you have to go and _OVERshare!"_

And then Cuddy couldn't help but laugh at how mortified they _both _were by this turn in the conversation. Rachel's face was aflame and Cuddy wasn't so sure she wasn't equally red. Closing her eyes for a moment she held her breath and covered her face before releasing her breath and dropping her hand to find Rachel peeking at her through her fingers.

"Please don't say anything more," Rachel entreated, still flinching. "Not about _that _kind of stuff."

"I won't," Cuddy reassured quickly, shaking her head to confirm her words and relaxing slightly herself when her oldest daughter's tension also eased. "But how did you ever jump to that? If it _had _been something like that, why would Evie react as she did? Why would dad take her away for a few days? Something like that would cause her to react like you just did, not be upset by it."

"I don't know. It was the first thing I came up with when you said she became upset while looking through your things. Because really mom, what would she find that would upset her?" Rachel replied, tossing her head before she waited for her mom to explain.

Cuddy sighed again, sobering. "Do you remember hearing about how depressed I was when pregnant with Evie?" she began.

Rachel surprised her by smiling, that not being Cuddy's inclination when she thought back on those days. "You mean when Queen Lisa was trapped in the belly of the happy thought eating dragon?" she replied astutely.

Cuddy's expression reflected her surprise. "You remember dad's story, Rach?" she breathed.

Her head tilted to the side before she rolled her eyes. "_Mom_, come on. We used to _beg _dad to tell us that story. I must have heard it a thousand times. I even convinced him to tape it for me so that I could have it that first summer I went away for camp, just in case I got homesick and needed to hear his voice. I told him I didn't want to forget my happy thoughts. And I'm pretty sure I still have that recording somewhere on my iPad, though I haven't listened to it in a while. Honestly, how could you think I'd have forgotten?"

This was all news to Cuddy. Still trying to recover, she finally managed to ask, "But you… you _understood? _You didn't think it was _just_ a fairy tale? You realized that it wasn't just… something your dad made up?"

"Well… I mean… I knew some of it was made up," Rachel replied, her own face reflecting confusion that her mom hadn't thought she'd understood in all this time. "Like…" she continued thoughtfully before laughing. "You used to tuck us in every night after dad had told us that story and tell us that dragons don't exist and would not be eating _anyone _up. And we _knew _you weren't really a queen ruling over your kingdom of Princeton-Plainsboro. But… everything dad told us had meaning, right? I mean, I can't remember him ever making up a story that didn't have a point to it. They always had _some _basis in reality. So… for the most part I just figured things out as I went. You weren't technically a queen but you were in charge, not of a kingdom but of the hospital. And dad wasn't a jester but when I asked him what a jester did, it was pretty much what he does at work when not actually working, making fun of people, causing trouble… I guess I never really figured out who the prince was supposed to be but… the princesses were obviously us, Sir Richard and Lady Evelyn grampa and gramma. And in health class when we learned about depression, we read about post-partum depression too." With a shrug she said, "You guys have talked about how your depression made it impossible for you to be there right after Evie was born. At some point it just… clicked that the dragon represented your depression. I don't know."

"_You _are _so _smart," Cuddy murmured then, emphasizing each word as she reached to cup her daughter's jaw again, running her thumb over her daughter's cheek briefly before dropping her hand to squeeze Rachel's knee in affection.

"It hardly makes me a genius, mom," Rachel responded, rolling her eyes but smiling before looking away.

Cuddy was just about to say something when Rachel's face screwed up and she sucked in a breath, her mouth contorting before she gasped out, _"Oh MOM! _You drank his _love potion! _Dad is so _GROSS! Eww! That totally ruins the story for me now! I don't ever want to hear it again. Yuck!"_

Cuddy felt the heat rise up her neck and into her cheeks but it was so late at night and she was just so worn out that she didn't resist teasing Rachel somewhat, volunteering, "Well, if it makes you feel better…, clearly I didn't drink it. That _was_ just another metaphor."

"_I think I'm going to puke," _Rachel immediately protested, contorting her face once more as she reached behind her to grab a pillow, burying her face in it.

Cuddy laughed but then gave her a minute to collect herself, rolling her eyes when she thought briefly of how entertained House would have been by Rachel's disgust at her parents having a sex life.

"Okay, so what exactly did Evie find?" Rachel asked finally, once she'd peeled the pillow away from her face, giving her mom a wry smile.

It kept coming back to this, Cuddy bemoaned silently. Moistening her lips she opted to be more honest than she'd ever intended to. "Evie found a contract that dad and I had made back when I was pregnant with her," she acknowledged sadly. "It must have been mixed in with all my files that we brought downstairs from the office when we converted C.J.'s room for him. I didn't really take the time to go through any of that stuff when we stored it in the basement. Some of those boxes hadn't been opened since before grandma and grandpa bought the house we lived at before moving in here with your dad. I just assumed it was old tax records, things like that."

"What did it say?" Rachel asked before Cuddy could continue rambling.

"I… I wasn't doing very well at the time," she explained first. "A lot had happened. I had been engaged to someone else and when he ended it, I… blamed dad. And when I later found out from dad that I was pregnant, I was already in such a bad place that… I wasn't thinking clearly. I was depressed and instead of seeing Evie as the blessing she was, I… couldn't handle it. But I thought I'd miscarry because I had in the past, when I'd tried to get pregnant before you came along. And when I didn't…"

Cuddy's words trailed off as she lowered her gaze, not meeting Rachel's, and Rachel frowned as her mother swiped at her eyes which had filled with tears.

Realization hit her then and for a moment she was too stunned to speak. But after a second she couldn't keep the words back. "You… You wanted an abortion?" she murmured softly.

Hearing that particular word alone from her daughter's mouth caused an unexpected sob to rip from her throat. Gathering herself quickly in an effort to contain her emotional reaction she managed to lick her lips and say, "Dad wouldn't let me do it. He knew if I did it would only destroy me further. And so… he made me sign a contract, promising I would do nothing to risk my pregnancy and Evie's wellbeing. And… I agreed, but… under the terms that when she was born, he would take her and raise her. Alone."

"Oh mom," Rachel breathed out, at a loss for words, looking away as she tried to process.

Cuddy started to cry silently then, unable to stop it as she'd never intended for her children to know this much, and Rachel immediately brought her eyes back to her mom, crawling closer to her on the bed before placing her hand on her mom's shoulder. "Don't cry mom," she pleaded. "You know that no one likes when you cry. I… I don't know what to say right now but… _Please don't cry_."

Cuddy laughed through her tears, oddly comforted by her daughter's uncertainty as to how to go about consoling her. She wiped her eyes with the side of her hand and then Rachel broke contact with her to scramble across the bed for Kleenex, bringing the box back with her.

"Thank you, baby," Cuddy murmured appreciatively.

It took her a minute but Cuddy _was _able to bring herself back under control fairly quickly, helped along by the fact that she really didn't want Rachel to feel any pressure to take what currently weighed her mom down, upon herself.

Cuddy was surprised when Rachel was the one to break the silence that had fallen between them and caught off-guard by what she next said.

"I… Huh. I kinda always figured if anyone was going to struggle with how they came to be a part of this family, it would be _me," _Rachel absently mumbled, staring off in the direction of the hallway, lost in thought.

Cuddy suddenly worried that she was going to be hit with two revelations this weekend.

"Does that bother you, Rachel? I mean… Do you feel like you somehow… belong less to this family than your brother and sisters, because you're adopted?" she queried anxiously in concern, wiping her nose with a tissue one last time.

"What? No. _Mom! No!"_ she stressed after redirecting her attention to her mom's worried expression, shaking her head at her mother like she was crazy. "Mom, I've always known I was adopted. It was never a big secret. And I don't know; you and dad always made me feel like I was special because of it. Come on. Think about it. How many times has dad been forced to tell the story of how I became his '_little big girl'_?" Rachel asked, cringing as if she was horribly embarrassed by that title that her dad still sometimes used, calling her by it in front of friends just to mortify her. "I mean, I must have asked you a thousand times to tell me about how you and dad became my 'forever and ever' mommy and daddy. So no. Being adopted doesn't bother me. Not at all. Yeah, sometimes I wonder what Natalie was like, what she'd be like today, what Simon might be like now even but… I don't have _issues _because of being adopted. And you know, it's not like oh, my birth mother didn't want me. She _died. _And anyway, she was just a kid. She was my age. And I am _not _ready to have _a baby!"_

"I think your dad would find that very comforting," Cuddy murmured with a soft smile as she sniffed before setting her Kleenex aside, receiving a grin from her daughter before Rachel rolled her eyes.

Turning serious again, Rachel shrugged and admitted, "Actually… I guess I've always thought how lucky I am. I've never questioned whether you and dad love me. I've always known you do. And, I mean, yeah, you and dad can make me crazy at times but… I can't imagine my life _without _either of you. So I wasn't born _to_ you. Dad likes to say I was born _for _you. He says this is where I belong; where I'll _always _belong, if he has any say about it," she dryly added before turning serious again. "I… I love you and dad _so_ much; Evie and Lily and C.J. too. And I'm so lucky to have gramma and grampa in my life. And grandpa Henry. I even miss grandma Blythe, as crazy as her visits sometimes made everyone. I just… Yeah. I am _so _grateful to call you all my family. There isn't a single one of you I would trade. And there's certainly not another family I'd _rather _be a part of. _Even if _dad sometimes acts like his _real_ job is to embarrass me…, at least he makes life… _interesting,_" she concluded wryly.

Cuddy reached for her then, tugging her against her chest and pressing random kisses to her head. "Honey, it's us who are lucky to have you! You bring so much to our lives! You always have. And… your daddy and I are just so proud of you! We're so proud to call you _ours!_"

"I know mom," Rachel replied as Cuddy finally released her, allowing her to straighten. "You love_ all_ of us. And… Evie _knows_ that. She knows you love her. So don't worry mom. Dad will bring her back and she'll be good as new, I just know it. He'll fix it. He'll make sure she knows that she belongs to our family too. Don't worry."

Cuddy drew in a shaky breath at her daughter's reassurances but then nodded, knowing House had things under control even if she wanted to take the problem and fix things herself, something she just couldn't do in this situation.

"Want to sleep in here with me?" Rachel asked her then.

Cuddy hesitated at the offer for it wasn't one Rachel had ever made, but then slowly shook her head. "I need to be where your brother and sister will go looking, should they need me in the night."

"Okay," Rachel replied, pushing herself off of the bed. "Then I'll sleep with you."

"Oh," Cuddy murmured, surprised once more. "Honey, you don't _have _to. You're certainly welcome to but… you can certainly sleep in your own bed if you'd prefer to. I'll be okay."

One of Rachel's eyebrows shot up as she squinted her other eye, staring at her mother for a beat before she smiled. "I'll come with you," she repeated pointedly.

Cuddy laughed softly but nodded her acceptance, turning to walk out of the room with Rachel beside her.

"Where are you going?" she asked her when Rachel detoured, heading for C.J.'s room after they'd exited her bedroom.

"Well, when Lil' and C.J. came to tell me goodnight they asked if we were all going to sleep with you since we always do when dad's away. I promised them I'd come get them if we were going to," Rachel stopped in the doorway to explain, shrugging.

"Oh, honey. They're already sleeping. Don't wake them up," she implored.

"Mom, I promised I would," Rachel said adamantly, giving her a pointed look.

Cuddy bit her lip but then sighed, nodding her acceptance. _"Okay. _ But throw me the sleeping bag that's in his closet first so I can get it set up for him. And have him bring his pillow."

Rachel threw her a smile over her shoulder but then continued into C.J.'s room, popping her head out to toss her mom the sleeping bag a moment later. As she started her way downstairs, sleeping bag in hand, Cuddy could hear Rachel murmur, "Wake up, C.J. Come on, buddy. You're on protection detail."

Cuddy had just set up his bed on the floor like he preferred it when C.J. trudged in, half-asleep, and immediately crawled into his sleeping bag, barely separating his lips as he mumbled something that vaguely sounded like, "Don't worry, mom. I'll keep you safe," before he flipped over, exhaled loudly, and fell right back to sleep.

He was snoring softly by the time Lily came in the room a minute later, blearily rubbing her eyes and pushing tangled hair out of her face before crawling up onto the bed and then across it to settle herself in the middle, back on her belly. Rachel was right behind her and she smiled at finding her mom standing there in the doorway, cupping her face in self-depreciating amusement while she looked from one baby in the bed to the other on the floor.

"We love you, mom," Rachel said then, wrapping her arms around her from the side to give her a squeeze, tucking her head down on Cuddy's shoulder.

Cuddy sighed and wrapped her arm around her to hug her back. _"I love you," _she replied immediately, pressing a kiss to Rachel's forehead. "I love _all _of you."

Releasing Rachel then, she freed her to climb up on the bed too, taking Cuddy's side where Evie usually slept when House was out of town. Cuddy laughed softly, knowing the younger two were already asleep once more. "I'll be right back," she whispered, waiting for Rachel to indicate she'd heard her with a head bob before she turned to exit the room.

Heading back upstairs she stepped into Evie's room where she'd already found herself several times since House and Evie had left. Sighing, she didn't bother with the light, enough light spilling in from the window to see by, the curtains not having been shut. Sinking on the bed she pressed her hand to the center of the bed, resting it there for a long moment before smoothing it over Evie's blue comforter. Sliding her hand up, she retrieved Evie's pillow, bringing it to her chest and hugging it close. House liked to complain about how he couldn't just buy one shampoo for everyone, because each of the girls had a preference and no one liked the same brand. But right now Cuddy couldn't help but appreciate that as Evie's pillow smelled just like her particular shampoo and she couldn't resist breathing it in. She'd take it downstairs and use it, she decided then. The girls would have by now already claimed the pillows that had remained on her bed anyway.

Resignedly forcing herself to her feet she cast one last lingering glance around the room as she held Evie's pillow close, stopping to press a kiss to her fingers and then deliver it to Evie by way of transferring her kiss to her picture in the frame on her dresser of Cuddy and House with her between them, her arms wrapped around both of their necks as she laughed at the camera, House mid eye roll and Cuddy pursing her lips in amusement.

Then she slipped from the room with a final sigh and headed back downstairs to make sure the house was locked and the alarm set before turning the thermostat down ever so slightly, returning to her bedroom then, carefully stepping over her son to slid in bed beside Lily in House's place, adjusting the pillow below her head before smiling at Rachel when their eyes met.

"Sleep well, honey," she murmured affectionately.

"You too, mom," Rachel replied, smiling at her once more before closing her eyes to sleep, Cuddy quickly following her example.

* * *

Saturday, October 5th, 2024

House woke up to Evie nudging him repeatedly with her toe.

"Dad, get up. I've gotta go to the bathroom and you just got a text. Lily wants you to call her."

He groaned and then checked his watch to find he'd actually been allowed to sleep until eight. For a camping trip that was a miracle in itself.

Rubbing a hand over his face he blinked a number of times before focusing on Evie where she stood in her blue, star-themed pajama pants and t-shirt trying to get her hair under control so she could make an appearance in public, and groggily mumbled, "Since when do you read my texts?"

She paused in what she was doing to stare at him drolly before rolling her eyes. "Like you don't read _my_ texts, dad."

Stretching before sitting up, he mumbled, "I'm your dad. I can do whatever I want. _And_ I pay your phone bill. But someday _you're_ going to read a text you don't want to and regret it."

"Trust me, that's already happened," she replied wincingly, her nose wrinkling in distaste. "You and mom can be so _gross_."

He smirked, for she really couldn't have read anything too bad as Cuddy had told him long ago she would only agree to _semi-_risqué texts if he swore to erase them immediately and he'd done so, faithfully, ever since Rachel had been able to read and started reading everything she could get her little hands on to impress them with how smart she was.

Unzipping his sleeping bag to free himself, he reached for his phone where it now lay on Evie's air mattress beside him before reaching for his duffle bag. As he dug through it for his toothbrush and toothpaste he mused over the fact that Evie had been the one to mention Cuddy this time, even if only in passing. He'd done the same thing the night before, making a reference to her mom to feel her out and test the waters a little, but he assumed it was a good sign if Evie was willing to mention her. And if she was willing to read one of his texts when it came through clearly identified as being from her mom, she had to know she did it at the risk of finding her mom at the very least, asking about her, looking to find out how she was doing.

Finally getting to his feet he turned his attention briefly to his phone, reading Cuddy's text for himself. "Lily wants to call you but I wasn't sure if you guys would sleep in. Will you call her when you're awake? P.S. We love and miss you both!"

House rolled his eyes at Cuddy's sign-off but smirked and then raised his head to see Evie watching him, fighting a small smile herself as she clearly knew why he'd rolled his eyes. He worked to hide his own smirk and muttered resignedly, "Ready?"

Evie nodded and stepped around what was in her way to go to the tent opening and unzip it.

"Are you going to shower?" he thought to ask.

"In a few minutes. First I'm going to brush my teeth. And I really do have to go to the bathroom, dad. Then I'll come back and get my stuff together to shower," she replied.

House nodded, yawning as he followed her out of the tent, zipping it behind them before accompanying her to the bathrooms, separating then, trusting she'd be fine as a group of college-age girls were heading into the bathroom ahead of her.

He was already dialing the house phone as he exited the bathroom to wait for her.

"Hey daddy!" his Lil' Bit greeted him happily the minute she answered.

He smirked, Lil' being the only one of his kids to regularly call him daddy still instead of dad. He knew that would change soon but he was secretly enjoying it while it lasted. "Hey princess Lil' Bit," he replied as Evie left the bathroom and approached him, more for Evie's benefit than Lily's as he wanted her to have their story in the back of her mind to mull over a little longer, earning him another eye roll as they walked back towards the tent.

"We miss you! When are you coming home?" his youngest daughter asked.

"I'm not sure yet," he hedged. "Monday night maybe."

Evie looked at him as she unzipped the tent, understanding what the question had been and making no objection, so he figured she was okay with Monday night, at least at present. Women in general were known to change their minds, he drolly thought to himself, teenage girls being no exception. In the end they'd go home when Evie was at least _momentarily_ disposed to the idea.

"_Okay,"_ Lily accepted begrudgingly, drawing the word out, obviously thinking that was too long but not up to her to decide.

"Did you have fun with Addie and Isabella?" he asked to distract her, listening as she recounted everything she'd done at Isabella's house with her two friends the day before. _ In detail._

Evie meanwhile was gathering her stuff to take to the bathhouse with her. Figuring he'd shower at the same time, he headed over to his bag and began to sort his things as well while talking with Lily. When Evie was ready and clearly waiting for him, he held off only until Lily paused to breathe before telling her, "I gotta go, kid. But I'll call you tonight before you go to bed."

"_Okay,"_ she once more accepted reluctantly. "Mommy says to call her when you get a chance. And C.J. and Rachel say hi. Give Evie a hug for us!"

"Will do," he agreed, shooting a glance at Evie who was gesturing for him to hurry up, getting an eye roll in response. "Tell your brother and sister that dad and Evie say 'hi' back. And give mom a kiss for me."

"Okay, bye daddy! Love you!" Lily replied.

"Love you too, kid," he mumbled in chagrin before disconnecting the call, reaching out to shove a somewhat impatient Evie after hanging up.

"Your brother and sisters send you a hug," he dryly informed her as she caught herself and gave him a dirty look when he smirked at her.

"That is _not _a hug," she muttered, narrowing her eyes at him.

House just shrugged, slipping his phone in his pants pocket before following her to the bathhouse.

* * *

"Why do girls have to take so long in the shower?" House grumbled when Cuddy answered her cellphone.

She laughed but didn't bother replying. Instead she asked softly, "How are you? How's our girl?"

"I missed you this morning," he responded slyly.

"Me or my body?" she sarcastically retorted, rolling her eyes but smiling, knowing exactly what it was he was hinting at missing.

"Hmm… Yeah, that's a tough one. Let me think," House replied as if contemplating the answer, giving it serious consideration.

She rolled her eyes again, biting her lip. "How is she?" she redirected, her tone softening.

"She's fine," he dismissed.

"_Fine?"_ Cuddy repeated argumentatively, obviously not believing him.

He could just picture her crossing her arms and tilting her head as she gave him a look.

"Well, if she's not, she will be," he asserted casually.

Cuddy didn't immediately reply but he still heard her sigh.

"She asked me for her story last night," he acknowledged then, knowing Cuddy would know which story he was referring to.

"She did?" she asked breathlessly, surprise lacing her words.

"Yeah," he confirmed.

She didn't know what to say at first, processing that. "I… talked with Rachel last night. She wanted to know why Evie was upset," Cuddy murmured then.

"Did you tell her?" he asked, an eyebrow raised.

"I didn't feel like I had any other choice," she admitted. "Strangely enough, _she _brought up that story you used to tell the girls too. House, it was like she had the whole story figured out. I… didn't even think the girls remembered you telling them that story anymore."

"I figured Rachel remembered it," he acknowledged. "But Evie surprised me."

"Did… Did you talk about it with her afterwards? Did you explain it to her? Or like Rachel, did she already have it mostly figured out?" Cuddy inquired, worrying her lip as she waited for his reply.

"I'm trying not to rush her," House said then. "I'm letting her take things at her own pace."

"Go figure that the man who used to be Mr. Confrontational would now know how to hold his tongue," Cuddy wryly quipped.

"Yeah well, showing restraint is _not _something that comes naturally," he dryly retorted. "If she was anyone else's kid…"

Cuddy laughed softly and he could hear her smile carry across in her tone when she murmured, "And you know her House. You know how she thinks."

He pursed his lips as he looked skyward. She was right. He did. Still challenged him, but he knew enough to do things at her speed at times like this.

"You're probably doing better than I would have done," Cuddy wryly added.

"Only because you can't distance yourself from it," he mumbled back, knowing she'd know what he was saying without him having to verbalize it and hurt her by doing so.

Changing the subject slightly, he asked, "What did Rachel have to say?"

"I'll tell you when you have more time to talk. When you're home," Cuddy promised. "It actually led to us talking about her being adopted though. I'll tell you about it later. Anyway, as for the situation with Evie, well… Hearing about the contract threw Rachel. But in the end she… was _very _confident in your abilities to help Evie through this," she concluded wryly.

"Evie will be fine, Cuddy," he said as if to confirm Rachel's opinion. "And the kid isn't exactly miserable right now," he mumbled dryly. "She's practically got me wrapped around her finger. I've even been suckered into taking her on a dolphin watching cruise this afternoon. She might be struggling but she's definitely _not_ wallowing in misery."

Cuddy sighed before affectionately murmuring, "House, what did I ever do to deserve you?"

"We did a survey actually and that is the number one question people ask themselves at PPTH," House replied dramatically with self-depreciation. "'What did Dr. Cuddy do to deserve Dr. House?' So far the top-ranking suggested answer is that you just have really bad karma."

Cuddy laughed but then resignedly said, "I should let you go. She'll probably be out soon and I still have to make the kids breakfast, anyway."

"Yeah," he agreed.

"Have a fun time today," she murmured then, reluctant to hang up despite having been the one to steer them in that direction. "And… maybe you could take a picture for me on your cellphone and send it to me?" she prompted.

"See? You missed me this morning too!" he immediately quipped smugly.

"Um… I actually meant you should take a picture of Evie for me," Cuddy intoned gravely, "but… I _suppose _it wouldn't hurt for you to also include a picture of you."

He smiled but then turned serious and said, "I love you, you know."

Cuddy sucked in a breath, House still able to catch her off-guard and bowl her over with an expression of just how much he genuinely cared for her. And she supposed she shouldn't be all that surprised that this weekend in particular he would choose to be more overt in expressing how he felt about her, but at the same time, if anything could have served to cause problems between them, she didn't know why it wouldn't be something like _this_.

"I've gotta go," he said then. "I'll call you later?"

"Yeah," she managed to murmur in confirmation.

"'Kay," he replied simply. And then he was gone.

* * *

House took Evie out for a quick breakfast and then they'd gotten back on the highway.

She'd asked where they were going when they hadn't taken the exit to return to the campgrounds and House had told her he was going to take her to Storybook Land, to which she'd huffed, "Dad, I'm not a_ baby!"_

"Well, you forced me to tell you a bedtime story last night, didn't you?" he'd retorted just as testily.

She'd glared at him, crossing her arms and he'd bit back a smirk but made no comment, Evie rolling her eyes at him before looking away.

Only then had he acknowledged he thought if they were going to go on a cruise, they might as well buy the tickets before visiting the Aquarium while they were in town.

Her attitude had quickly reversed, as he'd known it would.

His kids were all so diverse in their preferences. Rachel loved the country and everything about it. The peace and quiet, being surrounded by nature, even farming drew her attention, despite her assertions that she _was _going to be a doctor and of people, not animals.

Cuddy had gotten her into horseback riding when she was little and the kid had loved it from day one. It remained her hobby of choice, even if neither of her parents rode with her. Rachel loved the woods, hiking, discovering things in the great outdoors. That was her thing. He'd been extremely amused when she'd come home from school after dissecting owl pellets and monopolized the dinner conversation by animatedly recounting what bones she'd encountered and to what rodent or small mammal they'd belonged. Cuddy had not been so amused but she'd listened all the same.

Evie in turn loved bodies of water. In fact, he noted thoughtfully, he should probably plan on taking her to the beach tomorrow, at least for a few hours. For whatever reason, water soothed her unlike anything else. And she loved the ocean in particular. She had right from the start. At three she'd announced she was going to be a mermaid when she grew up. Cuddy had quickly clamped her hand over his mouth to prevent him from telling her that wouldn't actually be possible. In the water though, Evie was fearless. And you could name any water sport known to man and she'd be able to talk about it in detail. Even fishing. And on top of that the kid was crazy about marine life. Ask her to name anything that lived in water and there was a 98% chance she'd be able to.

Next there was Lil' Bit. She was their homebody. If it was up to her she'd spend all of her summer vacation at home and not go anywhere at all. She liked to go to her friends' houses but only for short bursts of time and usually they'd all just come over to her house instead. He'd come home sometimes and find his house crawling with pre-adolescent girls. Of the three Lil' Bit was their little entertainer, hosting whoever came in the door, throwing sleepovers… Yeah, if he knew she was about to have multiple friends over, House quickly made himself scarce. He was better off that way. Because if he didn't, _then _he'd somehow get roped into baking with his youngest daughter and her friends, despite that being the _last _thing he wanted to be doing, forced into it anyway since Cuddy admittedly _sucked _at baking and he and Lil' had often cooked and baked together, as that was something she'd enjoyed and also a hobby House had taken up for a time and knew a fair amount about.

Finally there was C.J., who loved everything about the city: the big buildings, the public parks, the people. Traffic didn't bother him, nor did big crowds. He quickly got caught up in people-watching and scoping out downtown, generally fascinated by what other people did and always wanting to know how things were made. He and Cuddy had _both _raised eyebrows when at five the kid asked if he couldn't go to the library and take out some books on architecture. But then again, the kid had more Legos than House had ever believed possible and was always building things. He practically had his _own _city lining the shelves running along his bedroom walls now. Cuddy said that if he didn't go into psychiatry or another field allowing him to help people one-on-one, then he'd surely become an architect.

"Dad, can we go back to the baby sting ray touch tank so I can feed them?" Evie asked, pulling him from his musings. "It's almost feeding time."

"Why not," he capitulated after glancing at his watch. "But you'll only have ten minutes before we'll have to hit the road or risk missing the boat."

"I can do ten minutes," she immediately accepted, beaming at him before turning to head for the exhibit.

House huffed out a breath, shaking his head at her enthusiasm before he moved to follow her.

* * *

Cuddy's phone beeped with an incoming text message and she smiled, hoping that House had kept his promise. She opened the text message to find a picture of Evie on the deck of the boat, leaning back against the rail and smiling, cheeks rosy and a curl blowing in the wind, having escaped her clip where she tried to pin her hair up so as to avoid having it end up in her mouth from the breeze hitting them as the boat moved over the water.

Her phone beeped again, an incoming message screen popping up, and she opened it to find another picture, this one obviously taken at the aquarium, Evie bent over the sting ray pool, her hand upon one's back as it swam past, the photo only showing her profile but Evie clearly in awe of the creature near her.

Cuddy smiled even wider when the next picture came through and then rolled her eyes to find it was of House back on the boat jokingly clutching onto a life preserver ring as if his life was in danger, obviously taken by Evie.

She bit her lip but breathed a sigh of gratefulness that Evie was enjoying herself, even if this weekend away had come about as it had. Her little girl would be alright, she reminded herself. House did have things under control.

Hitting the button to reply, she shot back a message. "Thanks for taking such good care of our girl, House." Sending it, she then thought to add a second one. "And keep the photos coming."

* * *

"Will you play with me that game we used to play?" Evie asked him later that night, looking up from where she sat in front of the campfire he'd made, roasting a marshmallow for her s'mores.

"What game?" he queried back, confusion written all over his face. They'd kept busy all day, Evie talking him into taking her shopping for a new bathing suit as she'd left hers at home, as had he, even managing to talk him into getting himself a pair of swim trunks just in case she could cajole him into entering the ocean with her the next day, House having promised to take her to the beach as well. Then they'd gone out to dinner before House had decided they should go to Steel Pier and ride a few of the amusement rides before they left, opting to stop at a store on the way back for supplies so they could do s'mores upon returning to the campsite.

"The 'How Do You Know You Love Me' game," she responded softly, biting her lip like Cuddy did while she watched him hopefully.

"That's mom's game, not mine," he dryly replied, an eyebrow quirking as he stared at her.

She frowned but then retorted, "You played too."

"Not if I could help it," House huffed pointedly, reaching into the bag of marshmallows nearby to chuck one at her, getting her to smile when it hit her square in the forehead before falling in the dirt.

"Please?" she pressed quietly after a second, turning her marshmallow on the stick to brown the other side.

He rolled his eyes but then sat down on the ground, stretching his legs out to the side while inclining his back against the log she was camped out on. _"Fine,"_ he mumbled, his voice communicating he was playing but it wasn't because he wanted to.

She beamed and then immediately launched into the game. "How do you know you love me?" she asked him, her smile carrying across in her tone.

"_I'm playing this stupid game,"_ he immediately muttered in chagrin, inclining his head back to give her a look of exasperation. "How do you know you love _me?_" he segued, it being his turn to ask _her_.

"I asked you to come with me," Evie said in answer, her dad interrupting her before she could continue.

"Not buying it," House replied seriously, shooting her another look. "You didn't ask me because you love me. You asked me because you needed a Thelma to your Louise."

"Dad, I've never even _seen _that movie," Evie dryly pronounced, staring at him like he was totally lame.

He narrowed his eyes but mumbled, "You get the general idea."

"Don't they commit suicide at the end or something?" she asked then, her brow wrinkling to try and remember what she'd heard about the characters he'd referenced.

House huffed out a breath but wryly explained, "They drive off a cliff rather than get arrested."

"That's dumb," she mumbled but prompted, "How do you know you love me?"

"No," he reiterated. "I don't accept your last answer. You invited me because… because you needed someone who couldn't outrun you in case our campsite was attacked by black bears. You needed someone you could leave high and dry while you made your escape. Try again."

"_Dad,_" she huffed. "You're the one who suggested we go camping. And seriously? A bear attack? By _black _bears? How likely is _that? _About as likely as an apocalypse on this camping trip."

"Are we playing or aren't we?" he asked whiningly.

"Ugh, you're so annoying sometimes," she mumbled. "Whatever. Umm… Okay. Because Kendra asked me to sleep over last weekend and I told her I wasn't feeling well when really… it was just that I missed you since you were hardly home at all with that case you had and I just wanted to stay home and be with you, even if it meant I'd have to watch reruns of your stupid reality TV show with you."

Evie stole a glance at her dad's face and then complained, "You're such a dork. Don't smile like that. How do you know you love me?"

House waved his hand over his face, changing emotions as it descended so he now looked extremely bored, and Evie giggled but then fell silent, waiting for him. He paused to think, hesitating to say what quickly came to mind. Deciding to just go with it, he calmly stated, "Because I let you out of our date night last month so you could go to that concert with Lucinda…"

"_Lucy," _she interrupted to correct.

"…and gave you the tickets I'd bought us, having already intended to take you myself," he continued as if she hadn't said anything.

Evie froze in the middle of putting her s'more together, stunned, her eyes moving about rapidly. "You were going to take me?" she asked softly.

House shrugged dismissively. "That's our thing, isn't it?" he finally mumbled before rolling his eyes at the expression on her face. "It's not a big deal," he quickly added. "So you wanted to go with your friends. I get it."

She ignored the eye roll and moistened her lips before admitting, "I didn't think you wanted to go."

"How do you know you love me?" he redirected, trying to move on.

But Evie wasn't ready to let it go, now worried she'd hurt her dad without meaning to. "If I'd known you wanted to go, dad, I would have gone with you," she murmured.

"Kid, it's fine," he replied glibly.

"It doesn't feel fine," she whispered sadly, staring down at the s'more in her lap still waiting to be eaten.

"_Evie," _he mumbled immediately, his tone stern, always hating when he found himself having admitted to the _wrong _thing, bringing about an emotional moment he had no interest in participating in. "You're growing up. You're going to want to do things with your friends instead of your old man. I get that. I get that it would have been embarrassing to go to a concert aimed at teenage girls, with your dad. Let's not pretend I've _wanted _to go the last five times. It's not a problem. You want to know when it will be a problem for me? When instead of ditching me for your friends, you ditch me for some teenage boy with raging hormones," he grumbled fiercely at the end.

House looked skyward when Evie pursed her lips, still considering him. "I've never been embarrassed to be seen with you dad," she said then.

He gave her a look and she tilted her head slightly before amending with the beginnings of a smile, "Okay. I've never been embarrassed to be seen with you _except _for when you _wanted _me to be embarrassed in being seen with you."

He smirked and she huffed out a breath before saying with chagrin, "I do love you dad."

"Prove it," he sarcastically mumbled then. "I'm still waiting for you to take your turn."

"Well, I just don't want you to…" Evie began in explanation.

"I hate this game," House interrupted to mutter in consternation.

Evie sighed, rolling her eyes. "Only because you want people to believe you're emotionally repressed," she quoted her mother verbatim.

"I _am _emotionally repressed. _Happily _emotionally repressed," he asserted.

"Not really," she countered contemplatively. "Mom says you're way better than you…"

"Are you going to take your turn?" he dryly demanded over her words before repeating, "How do you know you love me?"

Evie laughed at his attitude but then turned serious, looking away as she murmured, "Because I cried myself to sleep every night when I thought you were going to die."

House straightened, her confession like a vise on his heart, and it took him a minute to react before he mumbled, "Evie, I…"

But before he could speak she asked, "How do you know mom loves me?" and it was just a reminder of how very like him she was, because her own "negative" emotions typically made her just as uncomfortable as expressing feelings made_ him, _though he knew that wasn't the only reason for the subject change, nor even the main one.

In effect she was changing the whole purpose of the game but House understood immediately that she'd always meant to end up here eventually. He understood why she'd taken this approach, as well as why she thought he'd easily shift themes now to avoid talking about something that would make him feel bad. Despite feeling like he ought to talk with her about what she'd brought up, that being his hospital stay the year before when he'd gotten pneumonia shortly after his mother had passed away and then had things quickly take a turn for the worse, other organs shutting down on him; despite actually _wanting _to go there with her now so as to reassure her and combat whatever fear for his wellbeing remained within her yet, he decided reluctantly that that conversation could be put on hold for the moment in order to cover ground regarding the real issue currently on Evie's mind and plaguing her.

Evie looked away, once more biting her tongue, and he watched her attentively for a second but then casually said, "Because her eyes go all soft when she looks at you. How do you know mom loves me?"

Evie shot him a wide-eyed look, having prepared herself for the worst, which in her eyes and in that moment would have been for him to take full advantage in where she'd taken the game and ask her why _she _thought her mom loved her.

"Hey, don't act like that head of yours doesn't hold back a fount of information from me," he skeptically mumbled, his eyes narrowing with suspicion. "Or as if you honestly didn't think I'd use this weekend with you all to myself to probe the depths of your brain for future benefit. I wanna know. I_ will_ have to go home eventually and _I _will be the one she's upset with for leaving. The least you can do is to give your dad a few glimpses inside your mom's head so he doesn't believe her when she tells him she has nothing to say to him, wants nothing to do with him, and proceeds to give him the cold shoulder for the next week," he pronounced dryly.

The hint of a smile curved up a corner of Evie's mouth but she narrowed her eyes as she turned away from him, contemplating his question. Then her nose wrinkled in distaste. "Because she's always touching and kissing you. Even when I have friends over. Now _that's_ really embarrassing."

House laughed at his kid's expression, not only amused but genuinely pleased with her answer, remembering Evie complaining about it once only to be told by Cuddy that it was a good sign of a healthy marriage and that was not something she'd apologize for.

"How do you know mom loves me?" she asked again, a hand waving in the air as if she was still creeped out just from thinking about her parents' public displays of affection.

"Because she still goes into your bedroom at night to tuck you in," he offered. "And sometimes she stands there just watching you sleep."

"Dad. That's creepy," Evie replied pointedly.

He rolled his eyes. "How do you know your mom loves me?"

"Because when you say you're going to take a day off work mom always jokes about how she'll finally be able to get stuff done. But she always ends up taking the day off as well. And if she can't, she calls you about a million times throughout the day."

House grunted at her exaggeration but quipped, "That's because she doesn't trust me. She thinks if I'm not at work creating more work for her, then I'm at home _creating more work for her."_

"No, she doesn't," Evie negated, using her teeth to remove the marshmallow goo remaining on her fingers after eating her latest s'more. "She just misses you and likes to punish herself through hearing what she's missing out on in being stuck at work. Even I've figured that one out dad."

"Well, she does show a particular fondness for self-inflicted punishment," he agreed wryly.

Evie smiled. "Yeah. She married you," she teased him then, laughing when he chucked another marshmallow at her which she managed to catch before sliding it on her stick to roast. "How do you know mom loves me?"

House smirked briefly, all too aware that they were finally getting somewhere even as he continued to ease his way into things. He'd told himself if she hadn't opened a door again by tomorrow morning he'd force the conversation upon her. "Because when you got that mild concussion two summers back while being an idiot and trying to jump that buoy, clocking yourself with the tow rope handle, your mom was still camped out in your room long after the doctor cleared you, and kept insisting you'd never waterski again only to spend half the night on websites perusing the safety ratings for every piece of equipment available out there. I finally had five large boxes of nothing _but _packing peanuts and bubble wrap shipped to her at work with a message that they were to be used to wrap each of you kids in before you left the house each and every time, in order to get her to realize how ridiculous she was becoming about things."

Evie bit her lip to contain her grin.

"It's not funny," he moodily stated. "She blamed _me._ She accused me of being responsible for you jumping that stupid thing. As if I'd told you to!"

Evie had the decency to look repentant, though she smiled again while trying to evade his gaze.

He rolled his eyes before huffing, "How do you know mom loves me?"

"Because at least once a year when you go out of town, she makes us all sit and watch old family movies with her. And then she sighs when you come on the screen," Evie stated drolly, giving him a look like it was the most pathetic thing ever.

House chuckled but then mumbled, "I thought it was Lily who asked to watch those."

"Well, _now _she does," Evie agreed, wrinkling her nose. "But that's because she knows mom wants to watch them and she likes watching them too."

"Don't lie. You do too," House argued, narrowing his eyes at her with suspicion.

She rolled her eyes before muttering, "Believe what you want dad."

"How do you know mom loves me?" she asked when she remembered to.

"Because she writes you notes and tucks them in your backpack for you to find later," he offered.

"You do too," she replied, shooting a smile up at him.

"_I do not," _he negated as if scandalized.

"Well you don't put them in my backpack," she concurred, "And they aren't the same as mom's. But you still stick random Post-Its in the pages of my books with quotes on them or random facts, sometimes even a cartoon you've drawn. And you always make my hair look like some kind of natural disaster in them, which is totally an exaggeration, dad. As long as I put some product in it, it's totally controllable."

"Products your mom buys you," he interjected as if that was another point for him and she'd now owe him two answers instead of one as to how she knows her mom loves him.

Evie rolled her eyes. "Because she knows what products work from her own experience," she pointed out.

"Your hair is far curlier than your mom's," he replied before letting it go. "Tell me something. It's your turn."

Evie thought about it for a second but finally smirked and volunteered, "I'll give you a good one. Because whenever you royally piss mom off, even though she makes a show of leaving to go sleep on the couch, she always goes back to bed after only a couple hours, once she's satisfied she's made her protest known."

House was surprised Evie knew Cuddy slept on the couch when she was genuinely pissed at him. But then he didn't know why he would be as his kids undoubtedly knew more than either he or Cuddy supposed. All the same he shook his head and said, "She comes back to bed because she doesn't want you guys to know she's just spent the night on the couch and worry that it means something that it _doesn't_ mean. She doesn't want you to think that her punishing me for… _being bad,_ means you have to worry about _us_."

"No, that's what she wants _you _to think is the reason she always comes back," Evie smugly said, giving him a knowing look. "We've known _forever _that she sleeps on the couch those nights."

"What else do you know?" he inquired then, an eyebrow quirked.

"I know that mom… Wait. You're cheating, dad," she huffed, tucking a wayward lock back behind her ear. "You don't get _two_ answers."

House pouted but then resignedly urged, "Fine. Ask."

"How do you know mom loves me?" she complied.

He pursed his lips in thought but ultimately said with a casual shrug, "Because she allowed you to leave when what she wanted most was to talk with you about what you'd found. She might not have liked it but… she didn't stop us."

Evie didn't say anything for a long time, staring into the fire, wrestling with whether she was ready to talk about _that _yet, but finally she murmured instead, "Because mom immediately took time off work when you were admitted in the hospital and kept reassuring us you'd be alright but spent every minute she was home with us in one of your t-shirts and cried herself to sleep every night thinking we didn't know and were already asleep."

The knife twisted in his chest again at that confession, in effect making them both gloomy in where they'd directed each other's thoughts. He swallowed hard before releasing a heavy breath. This time he _was _going to go there.

"You should have told me this was still bothering you," he admonished without any real edge to his words.

Evie shrugged, finally directing her gaze his way. "You started to get better and I was just so relieved that I didn't allow myself to think about it. Mom said you'd been working too much and that you were having a hard time due to grandma dying. She said those two factors had a lot to do with why your immune system was slow to fight back. She promised us she wouldn't let you do that again. She promised she wouldn't let you try and bury yourself in work next time something bad happened. That's why she made everyone stay home for the rest of the week when Cookie Monster died, I think. She was trying to show she'd always keep her promise."

House immediately felt bad, flashing back to how he'd told Cuddy to just go home and leave him to die in peace out of self-pity when she'd been in the hospital room with him _before _he'd taken a turn for the worse, lecturing him out of her own angst in having him be admitted, on how he hadn't taken better care of himself and how he ought to have immediately sought treatment and taken antibiotics. She'd stormed out of his room only to return hours later when the hospital called to inform her that his condition had declined, infection having spread through his bloodstream and now attacking other organs. He could vaguely remember hazily spotting her enter the room, clearly having come the minute they'd called as she'd been dressed for bed, her hair in disarray, her makeup gone, beginning to cry the second she'd crossed the threshold into his hospital room.

"It wasn't your mother's fault," he mumbled resignedly, not because he believed Evie thought it was but because he felt it needed to be said. "I know she likes to believe everything is at times, but it was my fault I got so sick. Not hers. And it won't happen again. Not if I can help it. I won't ever put her in a position where she has to keep those promises, Evie. We all know I make a terrible patient anyway."

Evie managed a small smile at his last comment. "You really do, dad," she agreed pointedly. "Poor Uncle Wilson was about to take a mental health vacation just so the nursing staff would stop coming to him to complain and ask for him to intercede as mom refused to do anything about your behavior. I heard him say that to Aunt Erika anyway."

House chuckled wryly. "But you know I'm fine now, right?" he ascertained.

She nodded. "I just… It was scary," she admitted then. "When mom wasn't at the hospital, Grandma Cuddles would give her these worried looks and was always telling her to eat something. Then there were all these hushed phone calls with mom slipping out of the room. She kept explaining what was going on and how the doctors were going to make you better but they wanted to limit your visitors and… it was _hard _to not be allowed in to see you."

"I imagine it was," he mumbled dryly in an attempt to lighten the tone. "Until you convinced Rachel to call Grandma Cuddles from school and tell her that mom had agreed to pick the two of you up so that she didn't have to, and then had Rachel meet you at the bus station to take a bus to the hospital together, waiting for the nurses to be away from the station to sneak into my room."

Evie laughed at the look her dad was giving her. "_Oh!_" she added, her eyes wide as she relived their adventure. "And mom was _so _mad! She threatened to ground us forever for lying to gramma like that, once she caught us in your room!"

"But she didn't," he wryly put in, shaking his head, smiling now.

"Come on, dad," Evie cajoled him further with a grin. "You know you missed us and defended what we'd done. You didn't like not being allowed to have visitors either."

House rolled his eyes but smirked. "It broke up the monotony anyway. That'll be the last time you pull a stunt like that though. Grandma won't just take your word for it next time."

"You said there wouldn't _be _a next time," she reminded before shrugging innocently and saying, "Gramma wasn't mad. She said she understood. It was Lily and C.J. who were mad. And that's only because we didn't take them with us."

House shook his head again, huffing out a breath. "I think it's time we go to bed," he informed her then. "If you eat any more marshmallows, you'll become one."

Evie narrowed her eyes at him but nodded before getting up to put everything away. House doused the fire before he headed for the tent with her to get their things to prepare for bed. He grabbed his phone too and said, "I'm going to call mom in a while. Do you want to talk to anyone?"

Evie pursed her lips but shook her head. He frowned her way as she'd turned him down as well when he'd asked the same question before calling Lil' Bit before their campfire to say goodnight. But Evie just turned to gather what she'd need for the bathroom, not saying anything more. Tucking his phone in his pocket he followed her out of the tent to head for the bathrooms with her. Once they'd returned Evie went inside the tent but House just threw his stuff inside before pulling out his phone. He spoke with Cuddy only briefly before saying goodnight and heading back inside the tent, never having strayed very far from it.

Evie was already in her sleeping bag when he entered, turning off the lantern before crawling into his own.

"Do you think she misses me?" Evie whispered in the dark after several minutes had passed.

House scoffed out a breath at the question that could only have one answer. Rather than answering it directly, he asked, "What happens when dad has to go out of town for a few days?"

Evie licked her lips but replied without hesitation, "We all pile into your bed with mom. Except for Rachel. She says she's too big for that now and the bed is too crowded. But… she still sometimes crawls into the bed in the middle of the night anyway."

"And your brother camps out in his sleeping bag at the foot of the bed," House filled in.

"He always says he's not going to sleep with no bunch of silly girls but… he still kind of does. Even if he's on the floor. But he says he only does it because when you're away, he's the man of the house and has to protect us. Like we need a ten year old to protect us," Evie added scornfully.

"Leave your brother alone," House huffed. "Wanting to protect you guys is a good thing."

"But dad," Evie griped, pushing herself upright in her sleeping bag to stare his way in the darkness of the tent. "That's _not _why he does it."

"I don't care," he dismissed. "Let him believe what he wants. Guys need to feel useful sometimes."

Evie huffed out her own petulant breath but then dropped back down on her air mattress.

"_Anyway," _House resumed as if he was thoroughly put out now by her interruption. "Why do you guys do that? Why does everyone end up in mom and dad's bed when I'm away?"

"Because we always have," Evie replied rather simply.

"But why?" he pressed.

She bit her lip, thinking it over before answering easily, "Because mom misses you when you're away. And we know she likes when we all keep her company so that she's not alone."

"She's the _only one _who misses me?" he drolly mumbled.

Evie huffed out a breath of exasperation and he didn't have to see it to know that she was rolling her eyes. _"Fine. We all do,"_ she rather contemptuously acknowledged, her dad driving her crazy.

"And what does mom wear to bed?" he picked back up.

"One of your t-shirts," she almost immediately replied, not having to think about it. They _all _stole his t-shirts, even when they weren't supposed to. But her mom really only ever did so when her dad was away. Or when he'd been in the hospital.

"She grabs one out of the hamper," he agreed.

"A dirty one? Dad, that's _gross!"_ Evie objected, her nose wrinkling.

"It's a t-shirt, not my underwear," he snidely retorted.

"_Dad! Eww!" _she groaned in disgust, throwing her pillow at him.

House rolled his eyes as Evie tossed about on her air mattress in revulsion. "Oh, don't get your panties in a twist," he wryly muttered before flipping her pillow back onto her bed.

"_Stop!" _she whined. "Don't _ever _mention _underwear_ to me _again!"_

House pulled a hand free from his sleeping bag to rub it over his face in consternation while she sat up momentarily to grab her pillow from where it had landed, tucking it back in place before lying back down. "Well you're the one who thought a dirty t-shirt was gross," he mumbled dryly.

"Dad," she began, her tone still laced with aversion. "That's because it…"

"Oh, don't even," he cut her off to retort. "Like you aren't wearing my favorite t-shirt under that sweatshirt of yours right now! Don't think I didn't recognize it there in your bag before you tried to hide it out of sight."

Evie bit her lip, knowing she wasn't supposed to steal his t-shirts without permission, especially his favorite. "But it's not… dirty," she more meekly replied.

House snorted but made no further issue of it.

"Where does mom sleep when I'm gone?" he continued in redirection.

Evie paused to consider the question, confused at first, but then she understood where he was going with his question. "On your side of the bed," she answered, almost as if surprised.

"Why?" he pushed.

"Because… It makes her feel close to you, I guess," Evie suggested after a moment.

"You know what she does when you go away to camp?" House then segued.

"Well I don't think she sleeps in my bed or wears my clothes," Evie sarcastically muttered under her breath.

House harrumphed, rolling his eyes before acknowledging, "Yeah well, your clothes wouldn't fit her."

"What does she do?" Evie asked softly a moment later, prompting him when he'd said nothing more.

"Every night you're away she goes into your room after making sure the other kids are alright and smoothes out your comforter. And more often than not she grabs that ratty blanket you used to drag around everywhere with you when you were little and she brings it back to the bedroom with her, setting it on the chair where she can see it before she comes to bed," he told her wryly, though his tone carried with it traces of amused affection as well.

Evie didn't say anything for a long time, clearly mulling that over. Finally she whispered, "And she takes Mr. Hippy from my shelf and puts him on my pillow."

House raised an eyebrow at her contribution to Cuddy's quirks, a corner of his mouth rising as he remembered how Evie had dragged that stupid hippopotamus with her wherever she went, much as Rachel used to do with her Baby G and Lil' Bit had done with her teddy, Cookie Bear, named in part after their dog who had passed away only six months ago now and who Evie had briefly mentioned a short time ago.

House groaned. "Ugh, do you remember that time you left him at our hotel in Savannah? We were an hour away when you realized you didn't have him. I almost went deaf, you were bawling so loud."

"I was five, dad," Evie interjected. "And he was my favorite stuffed animal. What did you expect?"

House puffed out a breath but continued in disbelief, "I told you I'd buy you a new Mr. Hippy when we got home. But you said you wanted _your _Mr. Hippy. Mom made me turn around and go back. She wouldn't even let me just call the hotel and see if they could mail him to us."

Evie laughed, turning onto her side to face him, and he complained, "It's not funny. Do you know how many times your mom made me perform surgery on that stupid hippo because you'd wear out the battery inside him that caused him to giggle that crazy baby laugh whenever he was squeezed? And when the device finally wore out she had me do a transplant, removing that thing from another stuffed animal to put it in Mr. Hippy instead. That thing underwent more surgeries than any patient I've ever had. I should have saved myself the trouble and sewn in a zipper but your mom was worried you'd swallow the battery or something. As if you didn't know any better by the time the idea occurred to me."

Evie giggled then and House could no longer feign outrage. Still he huffed out another breath before falling silent.

He knew she was still awake but he was content to let her be, her thoughts no doubt on Mr. Hippy and her mom.

Ten minutes passed before he heard her whisper, "I kind of wish Mr. Hippy was here with me now."

He could tell she thought he was asleep and wouldn't really hear her because she startled when he sat up, unzipping his sleeping bag.

"Where are you going?" she asked in surprise when he moved to leave the tent, pushing herself semi-upright to watch him.

"I'll be right back," he dismissively informed her after grabbing his car keys from his pants pocket where he'd thrown them after changing into pajamas.

Evie was still propped up on her elbows when he returned, entering the tent before zipping it back up behind him. He squeezed Mr. Hippy to see if he still worked before tossing him at her. Surprisingly, while the giggle that emitted from the thing was slightly mechanical sounding, the battery clearly on its way to corruption, it still worked.

Evie picked it up from where it had bounced off of her to land on the floor beside her air mattress. "You brought him?" she murmured in wonder.

House smiled in the darkness, stepping carefully around his air mattress before dropping on her head her blanket as well.

"You're the best, dad," she told him then before slipping her blanket inside her sleeping bag with her.

"Of course I am," he agreed dryly before getting back into his sleeping bag for hopefully the last time that night.

The hippo gave a mechanical giggle and he rolled his eyes before muttering, "So help me I will rip that thing's head off if he can't keep his mouth shut tonight."

Evie giggled but said, "The therapy bills for that traumatic experience would probably pay for college, dad. Plus, he doesn't need his head to still giggle. And also, mom would kill you."

He sighed heavily. "Speaking of mom, she sends her love and said she misses you very much," he decided to disclose, leaving it at that.

Evie sighed too but then turned away from him, curling up on her side with Mr. Hippy tucked into her chest.

It was a long time before either of them fell asleep though.

* * *

Sunday, October 6th, 2024

House lay sprawled out on their beach blanket using his arm to prop up his head with Evie beside him sitting cross-legged in the one-piece swimsuit she'd bought without him even having to convince her to go that route, eating a Snickers bar that Cuddy had included in the snack bag and House had brought along with them to the beach. For a moment he smiled wryly in gratitude for Evie's practical preferences, sparing him what he went through whenever Rachel went to the beach or their family as a whole. He was only too happy that Evie cared more about actually being in the water than sunbathing on the beach. And he was wholly in agreement: a one-piece was so much better, for it reduced drag and allowed Evie to swim faster, both great things as far as he was concerned, and of course it didn't hurt that a one-piece and Evie's inclination to be in the water and not just _by_ the water also cut down on the number of teenage guys hanging around whom he deemed it necessary to scowl at.

Evie dug through the snack bag and then frowned.

"What did mom forget?" he asked.

"Nothing," she murmured before biting her lip and looking back at the water, watching the waves.

House's mouth quirked but he followed her gaze to the water himself. "Are you getting hungry for something more substantial?" he inquired next.

"No," she dismissed.

He just nodded.

"Dad," she finally asked so softly he barely heard her over the water, shooting him the briefest of glances before her eyes returned to the waves. "Why didn't mom want me?"

House blinked, not having expected this topic to come up again until it was dark and she was tired and more disposed to being vulnerable. He pursed his mouth, thinking about what he wanted to say. Reluctantly he went for self-disclosure. "Why don't I drink, Evie? Other than a beer from time to time and maybe a scotch on special occasions?"

Evie bit her lip, turning to look at him. "Because you didn't want to trade one addiction for another, right?"

House nodded. His past addiction to Vicodin had come up before, mainly when the girls had asked him if he'd ever done drugs and he'd disclosed it in answering, though also in regards to a conversation or two involving his leg. It was no surprise then that Evie would say what she had. He'd said as much multiple times. Sucking in a breath he admitted, "It got so bad with the Vicodin that I started having hallucinations, seeing and hearing things that weren't there. I couldn't always tell what was real and what wasn't. But I didn't want to give up my Vicodin. It was necessary. It was the only thing that _helped._ Or so I believed. Then one day I found out I'd hallucinated beginning a relationship with your mom. I even hallucinated detoxing with her, the whole hellish ordeal. I really believed she'd been by my side for all of it. Then I did something to try and figure out where things stood between your mom and me and she was furious with me for it. And I realized that what I thought had taken place between us had only happened in my mind. That changed everything for me. Vicodin had to go. So Uncle Wilson drove me to a place where I could detox safely. I was there for several months before I came back to Princeton-Plainsboro."

"That must have been scary, dad," Evie spoke up to say, frowning sympathetically.

"It was," he agreed, looking away before releasing a deep breath, sifting sand through his fingers absently. He met her gaze before acknowledging, "It was scary for your mom too. The feelings were there, Evie. Even if what I'd thought had happened, hadn't… Your mom cared for me too. She loved me. But it threw her when I had to go away and she was scared because she wasn't sure what it meant except that it didn't look like we'd ever be together. Everything was against us ever making it work. So while I was away she started seeing someone. I came back and she was already in a relationship. She couldn't risk letting him go so that she could see if a relationship with me would work out. She didn't see how a relationship between us could even be an option. In her mind, this guy was her last hope of finding her own happily ever after. But then… her relationship ended. He told her she needed to figure out what was between us and if it could go anywhere."

"Her prince had gone away," Evie submitted, biting her lip again, clearly thinking of their story.

He nodded. "And mom was very depressed. She was clinging to that relationship like it was her only chance of happiness. She just couldn't see that we could be together and be happy. I couldn't convince her of that. I couldn't convince her to give me a chance. She'd… lost too much. So then she found out she was pregnant with you. And yes, I wanted you from the beginning. But mom… she'd tried to get pregnant before adopting Rachel and she hadn't been able to. Then she'd gotten pregnant only to miscarry. So part of me… thinks she couldn't truly consider that the pregnancy would last because she'd miscarried before. That was one thing preventing her from embracing being pregnant with you. But she also just wasn't in a good place. She was depressed, emotionally unstable, furious one moment, crying the next. And our relationship wasn't a good one anymore because… I'd done things to try and end her relationship and been involved in the fallout. So anything I wanted, she pretty much wanted the opposite of. Everything was hard. And so, knowing that she _believed_ that she wanted an abortion, I made things all the harder for her by refusing to allow her to have one. Evie, if she'd aborted you… mom would never have been the same. She would not have recovered from that decision. I think you need to understand that too. And she'd tell you so herself."

Evie swallowed hard and then looked away to swipe at her eyes and House dusted off his hands before scooting away from the edge of the blanket until he was next to her, sitting upright so that when she leaned into him, he was there to hold her up, wrapping an arm around her.

"I told mom I'd take you when you were born and leave PPTH. I got a new job at Riverside East, I moved out of the apartment I was living in and into our house, and when you were born, I took you home. I also went to court so that I had legal custody of you. You became my world. You… made everything _better. _All of it, it was all worth it because I had _you. _But mom did not get better. She got worse. That damn dragon was eating her alive…"

"Dad," Evie rebuked halfheartedly, nudging him for swearing, managing to give him a small smile when he dug in their stuff for a Kleenex for her to blow her nose with.

"So I called Grandma Cuddles and I had her come to our house so I could explain things because she didn't know much of what had happened," he continued. "Your mom had kept away from her and avoided her while pregnant with you because she didn't want grandma to know and think less of her. And then you woke up and started crying before I could even explain you to grandma. When she saw you, bam, she was instantly in love with you, just like everyone else," he said with a proud twitch of his mouth.

Evie glanced at him from the corner of her eye, her own mouth twitching, but he just picked back up where he'd left off. "Grandma Cuddles moved in with mom and Rachel to take care of them both and force mom to get the help she needed so that she could get better. Mom started seeing someone who helped her to process everything that had happened and was put on medication to help her with her depression. And little by little she got better. But… it was hard for her to get to the point where she could talk about you, because talking about you meant acknowledging things that were painful for her, like how she'd wanted an abortion, for one. And then one day your grandma took Rachel to the park to meet you and me, not telling mom that was her plan, and mom came to the park to join them and saw the four of us from a distance. She saw _you,_ Evie, and… she _wanted _you. She _wanted _to be in your life and to be your mom. She regretted everything that had happened between us, especially not being a part of your life. So she came to me, asking to be given that chance and… it took me a little while but I agreed."

"Was it hard for you, daddy?" she asked him then, suddenly realizing that she wasn't the only one who had probably been hurt by her mother not wanting her.

House snorted, looking away somberly before he nodded slowly, taking it differently than she'd meant. "I had to _share_ you," he muttered as if resentfully. "And we all know how I feel about sharing."

Evie rolled her eyes at him with affection, the corner of her mouth lifting further.

He pulled her into his side more, jostling her playfully before they sat there in silence for a moment, both staring at the waves. "When she came over to see you, it took her _hours _to convince herself to even enter the house. She had a really hard time believing she had any right to be a part of your life. But when she did, Evie… Well, you know the rest. We've told it to you enough."

"She cried," Evie mumbled after a moment, leaning into her dad again. "She cried and she watched me sleep and she thought… I was absolutely beautiful," she finally concluded.

"And she wanted to know all about you and about everything she'd missed. And then she cried about a bazillion _more times _until I wanted to tear my hair out," House drolly added, wincing at the memory.

Evie giggled at his statement and attitude and House felt relief sweep over him at the sound.

"Your mom loves you so much, kid," he said seriously then. "I don't want you to ever think otherwise. She's loved you since the day she saw you, just as she loved Rachel from the first moment she saw her. She just had to work through her own issues before she could recognize and embrace the best thing that had ever happened to the two of us; _you."_

"Thanks dad," Evie murmured as she turned to get up on her knees, throwing her arms around his neck as she tucked her head against his shoulder.

He patted her on the back as if it was awkward to do so, scrunching up his noise before complaining, "You better not be getting me all wet."

She giggled but huffed in fake exasperation before releasing him. "I'm not even wet anymore," she told him with an accompanying roll of her eyes as she got to her feet. "Come swimming with me?" she prompted then.

House didn't swim. He frowned at her, narrowing his eyes before muttering, "What you're really asking is if I'll come into the water with you so that you can show off and splash me."

"Uh-huh," she confirmed with a smile, her eyes lighting up.

Groaning, he nevertheless got to his feet before removing his shirt to do as she'd asked, dragging himself behind her as she pranced happily into the waves.

* * *

Cuddy's phone lit up where it lay on the counter and she hurried for it, hitting the button to connect the call when she saw who it was.

"House, how is she?" she breathlessly asked, worrying her lip then.

She thought the connection had failed when he didn't reply, only to hear as she moved it away from her to check the display, _"Mama?"_

"_Oh baby,"_ she instantly breathed, hurriedly moving the phone back to her ear before reaching for the sliding glass door to step outside. "Are you alright? Are you okay?"

She heard sniffing and immediately had tears streaming down her own cheeks. _"Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm… just so very sorry," _she managed to get out, swallowing the knot in her throat as she struggled with emotion. _"I'm so sorry to have hurt you. I love you so much. So much Evie. Mommy never wanted to hurt you like this. _ _I would give anything to undo that. I would give anything to take your hurt away."_

"_It's… it's okay," _Evie finally got out.

"_No it's not," _Cuddy was quick to disagree, swiping away tears. _"But… do you think you could ever forgive me anyway?"_

"_Yeah," _she shakily pronounced before blowing her nose.

House mumbled something in the background that Cuddy couldn't make out and Evie giggled brokenly before telling her softly with another sniff, "Dad says if everybody's going to cry, he's going to drop me off at home and turn right around and leave again."

Cuddy laughed, rolling her eyes before shaking her head. She sobered before asking, "Baby, are you really okay?"

"Yeah," Evie mumbled after a beat, sniffing again but no longer crying.

"If… if you want to talk about it, we can. Anytime you want, Evie," Cuddy was quick to declare firmly.

"Does… does everyone know?" Evie asked then, her voice tremulous once more.

"You mean your brother and sisters?" Cuddy inquired, her forehead wrinkling worriedly. "Rachel knows because… she's been so worried about you and asked me pointedly what was going on. But Lily and C.J. don't know anything about it. I… Does that bother you, baby?"

"I… I guess not," Evie mumbled back after a moment. "But just Rachel. I don't… I don't want Lily and C.J. to know too."

"Honey, you have _nothing _to be ashamed of," Cuddy was quick to stress, fighting tears once more. "You did _nothing wrong. _Mommy was the one to be in the wrong. Not you sweetheart. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing," she repeated. "Like… like daddy used to say in our fairy tale. _You _are who _saved_ us. We wouldn't be a family if you hadn't, Evie. Without you, daddy and I probably never would have gotten our acts together and stopped screwing up so much. We would never have found our way back to each other. What mommy did… The hard times I went through… That doesn't say _anything _about you Evie. You are _so _special to us. You're our little miracle. No matter how messed up mommy was before and after she got pregnant with you. You were not a trigger, Evie. Do you understand? You are blameless. I don't want you to ever think otherwise. You were a blessing, right from the start."

Evie had started crying again, which triggered Cuddy's own tears, her throat clogging. _"A blessing," _she stressed when she could manage the words.

"_I love you, mama," _Evie shocked her by tearfully mumbling.

"_I love you too, baby. I love you so very, very much,"_ Cuddy struggled to get out, swiping at her tears.

The sliding glass door cracked behind her and Cuddy shot a glance over her shoulder to see Rachel worriedly eyeing her in concern. She gave her a shaky smile to reassure her before taking the packet of Kleenexes Rachel held out, silently mouthing _"Thank you," _to her oldest.

She turned away again and pulled a Kleenex from the packet to blow her nose, Rachel closing the door to give her privacy once more.

"When are you and daddy coming home to me, baby?" she asked Evie a moment later, hoping they were already on their way.

"We'll be home tomorrow night," Evie voiced after shakily drawing a breath. "I… I just need one more day mama. But then we'll be home. I promise."

"Okay, sweetheart," Cuddy readily accepted, nodding as if Evie could see her.

"I… I'm sorry for how I acted the other day," Evie thought to say then, remembering her dad entering her room and informing her she _would _apologize to her mother, though she suspected after everything, he would have let her off the hook. "I'm sorry for… slamming the door and… yelling at you."

"Oh baby, you don't need to apologize," Cuddy reassured immediately.

Evie bit her lip but mumbled, "But I do, mom. Because… it wasn't right. I just… didn't know how to… to handle things."

"Evie, I've _long since forgiven you_. Don't worry about it, sweetheart," Cuddy dismissed. "I'm not upset with you. Not at all. I just… want you _home,_ baby. I've missed you so much this weekend."

"And dad brought Mr. Hippy with. _And_ my blanket," Evie murmured almost apologetically.

Cuddy laughed at being found out but replied wryly, "I have your pillow though."

Evie laughed lightly but then offered, "Do you want to talk to dad?"

House said something in the background again and Cuddy hesitated, waiting for Evie to repeat whatever he said.

"He says he'll only talk to you if you promise not to cry," Evie echoed ruefully.

"I'll talk to daddy," Cuddy replied with a huff before her voice softened and she murmured, "But sleep well baby. I love you. And I'll see you tomorrow night."

"I love you too mom," Evie responded before passing her dad his cellphone back.

"Hey," House mumbled a second later, adjusting the phone against his ear.

"Hi," Cuddy murmured back before biting her lip.

"I can tell this is going to be some conversation," he dryly teased when she said no more.

She hummed but then murmured, "Do you want to know what I'm wearing?"

This time it was House who hummed. "Mmm, I like where this is going," he replied almost suggestively.

"My. Parents. Are. _SO_. Gross!" Evie pronounced loudly in the background, clearly disgusted.

House rolled his eyes at his kid but then headed for the tent zipper, mumbling, "Just give me a second to escape this tent."

Cuddy rolled her own eyes before biting her lip as she waited, turning to face the house as she leaned back against the porch rail.

"Tell me _all _about it," he stated hopefully a second later.

She laughed under her breath but then asked seriously, "How is she?"

"I knew it was too good to be true," he muttered in protest.

"Like you really thought I was going to go there with you when you're off camping with one of our kids in a tent with no privacy, unable to do anything about how you've _risen _to the occasion," she retorted dryly.

He huffed out a breath but glancing back to make sure he was far enough away from the tent for Evie to not hear him, he replied to her question, "She's doing better. I probably could have talked her into returning tonight but… I think she needs to sleep on it first. And I think she needs one more day without her siblings, to be honest. She's feeling transparent right now and… coming home to be hit with all their questions will just frustrate her. I still have to work out with her what she wants to say about why we took off for the weekend."

"Oh," Cuddy replied, grateful that he was thinking of things she hadn't thought to yet in regards to Evie's current needs. "That makes sense, House. I've only really implied that it's an extended daddy date night but you're right. There will be questions. Mostly from Lily. C.J. probably won't say much, other than to ask when you plan to take _him _for a weekend."

House snorted but then muttered, "I'll talk him into doing something downtown for a day and he'll be good with that. I am _not _leaving my wife again anytime soon. She has to make up for opportunities lost this weekend as it is."

Cuddy laughed wryly in protest but didn't refute his statement. She didn't particularly want him going anywhere either. Lily would be the hard sell though, in that department; except, maybe not. She _did _prefer being home after all. Maybe House could talk her into spending a day at home with him easily enough, rather than going somewhere. She'd suggest that to him later.

"Did you talk her into calling me?" she inquired then.

"No," he negated. "We came back from dinner after spending the day at the beach and she asked if she could call you. I don't know why she didn't just use her own phone. Maybe she can't remember where it is or maybe it's low on battery. I don't know. Maybe she just wanted to see my reaction. Who knows? But calling you was all her own doing. I never said anything about it. It always works out better when things are her idea and not mine anyway."

"Did… Did she open up today?" Cuddy asked next.

"While we were at the beach," House admitted.

"That was a good idea, taking her there," she thought to say, recognizing that had probably helped Evie along, remembering how they'd taken to letting her walk alone on the beach as long as she stayed in sight of the cottage they'd sometimes rent out while on vacation at Sea Island when her siblings were driving her nuts due to the close quarters and constant time together, in order to give her space to think and calm down.

"Aren't all my ideas good ones?" he quipped.

"Yeah, like sticking a knife in an electrical socket," she muttered in response.

"Come on Cuddy, that's ancient history now," he replied, but she could tell he was amused.

"Are you going to tell me what she said?" Cuddy prompted, biting her lip again.

House huffed but answered, "She didn't say much. She mostly listened. All she did was bring up the subject and then I ran with it. I… went back to the days preceding my time in Mayfield and took it from there. I… wanted her to have a full picture of what you were dealing with and focus more on that than on what she'd been focused on after what she saw. And then I talked about when you _did _want to be a part of her life, when you wanted _her_. She needed time to absorb what she'd learned but… not to get stuck in that part of things. I tried to figure a way to accomplish both without… causing her damage," he concluded with a shrug she couldn't see anyway, his mouth pursing.

"How are my other three brats doing?" he asked wryly then.

Cuddy snorted but replied, "They're doing fine. Rachel's been a big blessing to me this weekend. And mom and dad met us for lunch in town so that was nice too."

"Rachel didn't spend all weekend with Trevor?" House demanded to know then, his eyes narrowing.

Cuddy laughed. "No. She went over there for supper tonight before he headed back to school but otherwise she's been mostly home with us. I think Trevor's been really busy with papers to write and tests to study for."

"Good," he grunted.

Cuddy pursed her lips so as to not laugh at him. "You act like you don't like him," she said wryly. "But you love that kid."

"Except he's not a _kid _anymore and he's also the guy my extremely loyal oldest daughter has her heart set upon, regardless of their age difference," he retorted. "Every time I see him now I'm back to Rachel being twelve, coming to my office to sit in my lap, completely defeated, while he was in the hospital to have surgery on his legs to correct their growth a little, confessing brokenly from out of the blue that she wants to marry Trevor when she grows up and _crying_ because after spending every day of the last two weeks camped out in his hospital room to keep him company, she finally couldn't take any more of the seventeen year old girls who would come to visit him and who were flirting with him in front of her, viewing her like she was just the cute little kid they saw her as rather than how she saw _herself_. If he ever starts seriously dating instead of insisting he's focusing on his education first, my little girl will be heartbroken. And if he doesn't date but then someday realizes she's not the little girl next door anymore and he would _like_ to date _her, _well, I'm not going to like that _either_. So I'm just preparing myself to not like him in the future. That's all. So much for my friendship with Erika and Wilson."

Cuddy laughed at his logic before sighing loudly. This was their biannual conversation: what to do about Rachel and Trevor. And they were still clueless. Smiling softly, she suggested, "Well, you could hope someone else catches her eye."

"Yeah," he immediately groused. "Because somewhere out there is a kid I'd like _better _than I do Trevor. I'm screwed, Cuddy. I've been screwed since that kid called me daddy for the first time, doomed to a life of misery."

"I'm so glad that's how you see your life," she replied drolly.

He chuckled then. "I'm telling you," he retorted. "I found out too late in the game the blessing it was to have a boy instead. C.J. is some other father's problem. Not mine. If only I'd had boys from the start."

Cuddy laughed, tossing her head about as she pictured the smirk undoubtedly overtaking his face right now. "You adore your girls, House. Admit it," she said finally.

"I do," he confirmed somewhat reluctantly after a long, expectant pause on Cuddy's part. "Now if only I could lock them up forever and keep them far away from the opposite sex," he mumbled grumpily.

"You don't want them to find the happiness we've found?" she asked sweetly then.

"That is a trick question and I refuse on principle to answer it," he muttered. "But I'll say this. The only grief Rachel ever causes me relates to _that_ boy. And sometimes I _do _wish she was more like other girls her age, flighty and always imagining herself in love with a different boy. But she's _so_ loyal. Always has been. And she's so damn devoted to Trevor, if he was a different kind of kid, I'd… worry more about her than I do."

"House…" she murmured after a long moment of silence where they both got lost in thought.

"Cuddy…" he volleyed when she said nothing further.

"I love you and I want you home," she acknowledged softly.

"Because you get cold at night without me to keep you warm?" he quipped, kind of relieved at the subject change. "That's probably because your skin is getting thinner the older you get."

"You're one to talk," she huffed before reminding, "And I have the kids bunking with me so temperature control hasn't been a problem."

"Because you miss my sunny disposition?" he suggested next.

"That is _exactly _it," she remarked wryly, getting him to chuckle.

"Because I'm so irresistible and you want to get your hands on me?" he proffered.

"_Dad!"_ Cuddy heard Evie protest loudly, causing her to laugh with mirth.

"_What?!"_ House replied darkly. "How was I to know you were sneaking up on me and listening in to my _private _conversation?! Sheesh!"

"I wasn't _sneaking. _I have to go the bathroom," she whined.

House huffed in Cuddy's ear but then gestured for Evie to lead the way, following her towards the bathrooms.

"Do I need to let you go?" Cuddy asked, realizing they'd been talking a while now.

"Not yet," he replied. "Let me just get this kid to the bathroom. You can keep talking though. Sweet talk me away."

"Should I tell the kids to sleep in their own beds tonight?" she asked him then.

"Do you _want _them to sleep in their own beds?" he inquired dubiously, not sure he understood why she was asking _him_ this.

"No. It's not that. I certainly don't _mind _the company. But… they have school tomorrow," she explained.

"C.J. sleeps like a rock. It doesn't matter where he is. Lily, well, she's only too happy to sleep with mom. But Rachel might like to sleep in her own bed tonight. Guess it depends on whether or not she's had enough of Lily moving about in the night," he answered dismissively. "Ask her. It's not like she's going to think you're trying to get rid of her."

"Okay," Cuddy agreed.

"Should I let _you_ go, Mrs. House? I mean what would your husband say if he came home so late at night to find you speaking on the phone with strange men?" he quipped.

"I'm sure he's used to it by now," she replied wryly, bemoaning all the calls she fielded from the hospital, even while not at work.

"I guess those are the breaks when you marry a phone sex operator," he replied dryly.

"_Dad!"_ Evie shrieked at him as she came out of the bathroom just then, absolutely horrified.

"Sorry," he muttered apologetically before mumbling into the phone, "I'm totally stopping on the way home to get _that one _a bell to wear around her neck."

An older woman came out of the bathroom right behind Evie and shot him a dirty look over what he'd said as well. The temptation to make a wisecrack was there but since Evie was with, he held off.

"I've gotta go before I get arrested and have to do the walk of shame, requiring my fourteen year old to bail me out of jail," he muttered to Cuddy.

"Oh, I'm sure that day will come dad," Evie quipped dryly. "But I'd hoped you'd at least wait until I'm legally an adult because I'm not so sure how they feel about someone underage posting bail."

He returned her smirk but then rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I think that would be wise, House," Cuddy interjected. "Let's _not _have anyone go to jail tonight."

"Like you've never needed someone to bail you out," he retorted smugly.

"House, don't you _dare _tell her that story. I mean it!" she immediately bit out, straightening her spine as she pushed off the deck rail.

He laughed at her expense.

"Not funny," she muttered, crossing an arm over her chest as she pressed the phone tighter to her ear.

"I love you, Cuddles," he sing-songed in response.

She huffed, shaking her head before biting her lip, reluctantly caving to murmur, "I love you too."

"I'll be home tomorrow," he wryly confirmed then.

"You better," she asserted.

House pursed his lips, smiling, but finally instructed, "Tell the kids good night for me."

"I will," she agreed softly, smiling affectionately now. "Good night House. Tuck in Evie for me."

He snorted but mumbled, "Night Cuddy," before he reluctantly disconnected the call.

"Grab your toothbrush. It's time to go to bed," he muttered when he'd put his phone aside to direct his gaze at his kid where she sat upon her mattress.

He smirked when he noticed she'd switched their pillows while he'd been distracted.

Evie rolled her eyes but yawned then, swimming and being outside today clearly having taken a lot out of her, along with the emotions of the day. He grabbed his things and then unzipped the tent when they were both ready to go. Juggling his things he freed a hand to be able to tousle her hair, getting a dirty look for his efforts and a whiny, _"Dad! Don't!"_ in protest.

"Mom wants me to tuck you in tonight," he muttered. "I'm thinking of getting creative. What do you think?"

"I think I can tuck myself in," she wryly retorted, narrowing her eyes at him and then dodging him when he reached out to give her a shove before pushing him a second later, giggling when he stumbled before catching himself.

House gave her a dark look and then muttered, "Watch it or you're going to find yourself 'tucked in' up in a tree come morning."

Evie just rolled her eyes.

* * *

Monday, October 7th, 2024

House pulled into their driveway, wryly grateful to finally be home. Evie had asked to stop and see Grandma Cuddles and House had joked about her simply wanting a magical hug but made no objection to swinging by to see Evelyn and Richard himself. They'd stayed for a while though, which meant House and Evie were arriving home later than he'd intended. Still, he was okay with that. Cuddy had thought about not going in today but then decided she'd rather call in when it meant she'd actually have someone home to spend time with. She hadn't had to stay late though, as evidenced by her car currently being in the garage. Glancing at his watch he verified how long they had before C.J. needed a ride home from soccer practice and they'd have to swing by to pick Lily up from her flute lesson. Deciding they still had a while he parked the car in the garage next to Cuddy's and followed Evie into the house, leaving their stuff to collect from the car later.

"Don't make me regret coming home," he grumbled at Evie as they entered the house.

She looked back at him, rolling her eyes, but said resignedly, "I'm not going to cry dad. You can relax."

"Doesn't mean your mom won't," he mumbled back as if exasperated.

Evie rolled her eyes again, though this time it was in amusement.

"Cuddy, we're home," he called out as they stepped into the kitchen. And then he halted because there before him on the floor was a puppy bearing remarkable resemblance to Cookie Monster, standing up on its back feet and leaning against the fence enclosure around him, wagging its tail anxiously as it stared up at them before barking.

Evie gasped and instantly went for him, scooping him up and getting licked as she directed her attention back to her dad, wide-eyed.

House narrowed his eyes as he looked at the little ball of slobber and then turned to stare at Cuddy when she entered the room, pausing to lean against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest, biting her lip as she looked at him with chagrin.

"I thought we were going to wait a while," he muttered then.

Cuddy's shoulders rose in silent apology. "Haven't we? Mom mentioned yesterday that she knew someone who had a litter of little Cookie Monster lookalikes and the kids begged me to stop by to see them. That's all I intended to do, honest. But… they can make quite convincing arguments at times. And you know how we've all missed having a dog around."

"Speak for yourself," House retorted, his comment going ignored.

"What's his name?" Evie asked, looking up at her mom with a smile, her ear and neck currently getting bathed by a tongue.

"Rachel named Cookie Monster so it's your turn, Evie. That was the deal I made with your brother and sisters. If we were going to take one home with us, they could pick him out but you got to name him," Cuddy answered, pushing off the wall to approach her daughter, reaching down to smooth her hair back from her face as she bit her lip once more, slightly uncertain about this first interaction with her daughter after everything.

"Great. Because this kid is so creative with names," House groused, but he reached to take the pup from Evie, lifting him up to stare at him. "We'll have another Mr. Hippy on our hands," he drolled, referring to Evie's stuffed animal.

"Dad, I'm not going to name him _Mr. Doggy_. Give me a little credit," Evie retorted wryly as she got to her feet, watching her dad with the puppy for a second before leaning into her mom.

Cuddy sighed and Evie immediately turned into her, wrapping her arms around her. "Hi mom," she murmured then against her shoulder, not knowing what to say.

"I'm so glad you're home," Cuddy murmured back, squeezing her as her own arms had wrapped around Evie by that point. Turning her head slightly, she kissed the back of Evie's head before rubbing her back with one hand. "I've missed you."

"I missed you too," Evie admitted softly.

"Hey, what about me?" House protested, setting the puppy down on the floor but not without scratching behind his ears first.

"Shh, I'll get to you," Cuddy hushed dismissively, smiling wryly his way before pressing another kiss to Evie's head.

House huffed but then asked, "Rachel working?"

"Yeah," she replied with a nod. "She'll be home around seven."

"I don't know why she can't just enjoy being a kid," he grunted. "She's got the rest of her life to work."

Cuddy rolled her eyes, still rubbing Evie's back. "It's only Monday thru Thursday House. And it's good for her."

He pouted but finally mumbled, "Well, I'm going to go get our stuff from the car I guess."

"I can help, dad," Evie replied, releasing her mother to follow him, though she bent first to pet the puppy who then trailed her to the door.

Cuddy came with too, helping to bring things inside while House returned camping equipment to its place in the garage, the puppy trying to latch onto one of his shoelaces that had come undone and earning a scowl from House in the process.

Evie headed upstairs with her things then, her mom following her with Mr. Hippy and her blanket, sitting on her bed after putting them where they belonged while Evie threw clothes in the hamper, working to empty out her duffle bag, biting her lip in noticing that her mom had obviously been in her room, picking up the mess she'd left on the floor in dumping her backpack out before they'd left, and feeling repentant for her mom having picked up after her like that.

"Did you have a good time with dad?" Cuddy asked as she looked down at the bed, smoothing the comforter with a hand before she looked up at Evie, reticent to speak about things in case Evie did not want to at present and worrying her lip because of that, her forehead drawn in slight concern.

"Yeah," Evie replied with a nod, still emptying her duffle bag. "We went to Baker's Acres and then drove to Atlantic City to visit the aquarium. Dad even took me on a dolphin watching cruise. And I got to swim at the beach yesterday. We even went on a few amusement park rides on the pier."

"I'm glad," Cuddy said softly, smiling affectionately at Evie as she dropped her bag and then turned to face her mom before hesitantly crossing the room to slowly lower herself down on the bed beside her.

"Do you want to talk?" Cuddy inquired as Evie tucked a wayward curl behind her ear. Her eyes traced over Evie's features as she pursed her mouth, waiting.

Evie sighed. "No. I'm good, mom. Dad… Well, this morning I was looking at that contract you guys made again. Dad didn't know I'd brought it. But he said… we can't change the past, even when we want to; not even to spare others pain from our bad decisions. He said we can only learn from it and move forward. He said the past shouldn't control us. It should remind us of how much we can overcome."

Evie paused a moment, pursing her mouth before shrugging. "Dad said he had a copy of that contract too. And once he decided that he was done living in the past and wanted to live in the present, he decided to destroy it. He said he didn't do it to forget the past, because he couldn't forget. And he didn't do it to hide the past and pretend it hadn't taken place because that wasn't healthy either. He just didn't want to have it become something that held him back from truly enjoying the life he was making for himself, with you, me and Rachel. He said… He said that document was mine now and I could do with it as I pleased but… he didn't want it to be something that ate away at me and made me miserable inside like the dragon made you. He said I'd need all the happy thoughts I could have in order to survive having him for a dad, hopefully sparing him millions of dollars' worth of therapy in the process," she added with a giggle, shooting a grin at her mom.

Cuddy smiled softly and then leaned back as Evie found her way to sprawling out on the bed, her head ending up in Cuddy's lap, allowing her mom to soothingly draw her fingers along Evie's forehead and through her dark locks while looking down into her beautiful blue eyes. "He said I could take time to decide if I was ready to move on but… I didn't need it mom. So… dad suggested we find a symbolic way to move forward. He… he talked about how he spent time in Egypt as a kid and learned a lot while there about Egyptian symbols. He said when I look at that paper, I see something hurtful. But when he looks at it now, he can see it for what it is: something that was meant for my protection. He said in ancient Egyptian mythology there was a hippopotamus goddess of childbirth, Taurt. She was supposed to be the protector of pregnant women and infants and was a cross between a hippo, lioness and crocodile. In many depictions she rests her paw upon the Egyptian symbol 'sa.' Dad says that symbol means 'protection.' He pulled it up on his cellphone for me and showed me it. He said it's been thought to represent a rolled up herdsman's shelter or a papyrus life preserver."

"Anyway, he said that contract was a life preserver too, one that kept both you and me safe until you could be rescued from the depression you were drowning in. He said without it we'd both have been lost forever and without _us, _he'd have been lost too. So… he offered to try and fold it into an origami shape as closely resembling that symbol as he could make it. He ended up folding it between two other papers as well, because it's so old and fragile now. But dad said I could do what I wanted with it then, whether that was to symbolically throw that life preserver out into the ocean on our drive home or place it in my room to remind me that I was loved and protected, right from the start. He said either way I should remember what that document _really _was and let the hurt I felt in finding it, drift out to sea."

Slipping her hand into her pocket, she pulled out the origami symbol her dad had shaped for her, biting her lip as she looked at it before looking up at her mom. "I'm going to hold on to it for now, I think. I kinda like looking at it dad's way and… I like the reminder too."

Cuddy moistened her lips, swallowing hard before she murmured, "I love you Evie. More than you'll ever know."

Evie smiled up at her. "I love you too mom. More than _you'll _ever know."

Cuddy laughed softly, swiping at an errant tear. "I suppose I should go pay some attention to your dad," she murmured then. "Before one of us has to go pick up your siblings. Do you want to come downstairs with me?"

Evie sat up to free her mom but shook her head. "I'll be down in a little bit, mom. But first I want to shower. Before C.J. comes home to complain about how long I'm taking in the bathroom."

Cuddy laughed as she got to her feet, pausing to press a kiss to Evie's forehead. "Start thinking about names," she reminded her. "Before your younger brother or sister tries to usurp your rights and pin him with a name that will have your dad cringing."

Evie laughed but nodded, her eyes bright at the reminder of the puppy downstairs, pushing herself off the bed then to get a fresh change of clothes.

Cuddy slipped from her bedroom with one last glance at her daughter, sighing as she descended the stairs in relief that Evie was doing fine. She'd been worrying last night after talking with her, remembering how she'd been clearly insecure about having her siblings know about the past. House seemed to have overcome whatever shame Evie had been wrestling with, with his words this morning, if Cuddy had failed in her attempts last night.

She wandered the house searching for him and then tracked him to the deck where he sat on the stairs, the puppy playfully charging at him only to dodge to the side at the last minute, barking at him before running about, repeating his play. He glanced her way ruefully when she stepped out on the porch. "I can't believe we're starting _this _process over again," he mumbled then, shaking his head after jutting his chin out in the dog's direction.

"But this time the kids are old enough to help with his care," she pointed out before placing her hand on his shoulder to steady her before she sat down beside him on the step. "And _you're _the one who promised them we'd get another dog."

He pursed his lips but then harrumphed his acknowledgement of her being right.

Cuddy wrapped an arm around his back, leaning into him, her head falling to lie against his shoulder, her eyes falling to the puppy at their feet. Extending her free hand she pet him until he sat back to scratch at the new collar the kids had gotten him when they stopped on the way home yesterday to pick up supplies for him.

"Have I mentioned that I love you lately?" she murmured to House then.

He snorted, his shoulder moving beneath her slightly. "Not since I called you from the road," he said after a beat, obviously smirking though she couldn't actually see him from how she was positioned. "But I was hoping you'd _show_ me," he added dryly.

Cuddy smiled, biting her lip before deciding to playfully bite _him, _turning her head to nip his shoulder before she straightened to meet his gaze, still smiling. "We have children to pick up," she reminded.

"Yeah," he breathed with a heavy sigh before quirking an eyebrow at her. "How long again until we can ship them _all _off to college?"

Cuddy groaned and rubbed a hand over her face. "That day's coming only too quickly, House," she muttered wryly in response.

He grimaced and mumbled, "On second thought, maybe we should retire and move our family to a deserted island where there is an absence of the male sex, solving one of my problems anyway, and we'll live there the rest of our lives with no possibility of communication with the outside world and no way to escape each other. We'll leave your dad behind but… your mom can come with," he concluded with a faint smirk.

"Except that you have no interest in retiring," she countered, leaving alone the fact that she'd never willingly _visit_ a deserted island, let alone move to one, and ignoring his comment about her parents' altogether.

"It makes me feel old," he complained. "It's bad enough going to parent-teacher conferences and seeing that some of the parents of our kids' friends are young enough to actually _be_ my children."

She laughed because that was actually true, especially in C.J.'s case.

"I'll retire when you retire," he offered dryly. "By that time our kids will all be in college. You wouldn't know what to do with yourself at work without me anyway."

"Well, that's true," she agreed sweetly, straightening so that she could affectionately press a kiss to his cheek. "I wouldn't want to be there any longer if you were to retire. My job would be too easy then."

"You know what I'd _really _like?" House asked then, changing subjects as he straightened beside her, turning his head to look at her.

"Hmm?" she prompted with interest.

"A kiss from my extremely good-looking wife," he replied, one corner of his mouth rising slyly.

Cuddy pursed her lips as she considered him. "I hesitate," she drolly admitted.

"Well that's always good to hear," House grumbled sardonically, pouting now.

"If I start, I might not be able to stop," she expanded, her eyes flicking from his own eyes to his mouth in turn.

"_That's _more along the lines of what I was hoping to hear," he replied, lifting his arm up from between them to wrap it around her, his palm settling in the center of her back.

"Do I risk it?" she asked doubtfully as she eyed him with reticence.

"I think you should," he counseled. "It's good to be a risk-taker, every once and a while."

Cuddy smiled then, raising her right hand to cup his jaw before leaning up to capture his mouth, her eyes instantly fluttering shut.

House kissed her lazily, slowly deepening it until she was humming her pleasure.

They only stopped when the puppy jumped up against House's leg, barking at them.

"Great," House huffed. "Another one against me seeing any action."

"Oh, you're _going_ to see some action," Cuddy drawled, leaning back up once more to capture his bottom lip between hers, worrying it for a second. "There's no question about that. You just have to wait until the kids are in bed tonight," she added seductively after releasing his lip, her eyelashes lowered as she stared at him from under them intently.

He smirked. "You said Rachel will be home around seven? That sounds like a good bedtime for everyone to me."

She laughed but shook her head. "Do you want to pick up the kids or should I?" she inquired instead of replying, opting to change subjects.

"We can both go," he suggested. "Evie can tag along or stay here, if she wants. We'll pick up some pizzas on the way home or something."

"Okay," she agreed with a nod, waiting while he reached for the puppy, picking him up, before she got to her feet and climbed the stairs, House following her.

"You know what I was thinking about as I was driving home?" he mumbled as they crossed the deck, the pup in the crook of his elbow, half his body tucked over House's forearm.

"Let me guess… Hmm. About the many ways in which you plan to take me tonight when you finally have me alone?" she wryly replied, giving him a look from over her shoulder, one eyebrow raised as she squinted back at him.

"_Cuddy,"_ he practically gasped before rebuking indignantly as if appropriately scandalized, "I'm _shocked _at your audacity! I had our _daughter _with me in the car!"

Her mouth pursed as her eyebrow only climbed higher and she came to a standstill, turning around to stare him down, her arms folding over her chest pointedly.

"Okay," he relented. "I did think about that. But only for three minutes while Evie was in the bathroom at a rest stop," he quipped before smiling widely.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes but bit her lip before prodding, "What were you thinking about, House?"

His mouth quirked one way and then the other but finally he turned serious, his gaze moving over her face before acknowledging somberly, "I was thinking that it was all worth it."

"That what was?" she uncertainly pressed, worrying her lip now.

"All of it," he replied evenly, his eyes locked on hers. "I was thinking that if I had to do it all over again, I would. Because you're worth it, Cuddy. Our kids, they're worth it. And there's not a moment along the way that I'd change. Not when it led to this. Not when surviving everything we've made it through meant that the day when we'd finally be together would come, allowing me to claim you as mine and… love you more than I ever thought myself capable of. History, literature, _Hollywood, _they all have these tragic tales of star-crossed lovers that… are just plain stupid if you think about it. I mean, how long were Romeo and Juliet together? _A week?_ And _that's _an epic tale of _love? _You've got to be kidding me. Cuddy, _look at us._ Look at all we've gone through to get to this point. You can't possibly tell me that there are two people out there who have survived anything even _remotely _like all that we have, two seriously _messed up _people, who made it through a downright convoluted shared history and found their way back to one another _despite _everything being against them. And _that's _what I was thinking about on the way home. Screw Tristan and Isolde and… _Rose and Jack_," he stated with ire before emphatically declaring, "_We're epic, Cuddy._ And… I'd do it all over again. That's all I'm saying," he concluded, his mouth pursing wryly as he continued staring at her, awaiting her response to his impassioned assertions.

Cuddy swallowed hard, having been initially taken aback at House's rather dramatic outburst but then swept up by it, her arms falling back to her sides without her being aware of them having done so. Now she licked her lips but then brought her hand up, reaching for the back of his neck even as she closed the distance between them, trying not to smoosh the puppy between them even as she got up on her tiptoes, capturing House's mouth with her own and kissing the hell out of him, leaving him looking somewhat dazed and then amused when she finally separated their mouths an inch.

"_SO getting laid tonight," _she murmured under her breath as she slowly lowered herself back down to the ground, her hand gradually sliding down his chest, her mouth quirking up as his did, their eyes locked on one another still while the puppy patiently waited in the crook of House's arm for whatever was to come next.

The sliding glass door opened behind her then, Evie popping her head out to query in disgust, "Are you guys almost done grossing out everyone in the neighborhood, me _especially? _Because I'm getting hungry. And you'd think that would be an utterly impossible feat in itself, being that my parents' PDA just made me _nauseous,_ but… I am. I'm starving. So… can we hurry this up a little so I can be fed?"

"We'll be inside in a minute," Cuddy responded dismissively without looking back at their daughter, rolling her eyes when House silently laughed, the sliding glass door closing a second later.

"I love you House," she avowed sincerely a moment later, once they were alone again and his attention was centered completely on her once more. "And just so you know… I love our kids with _all my heart. _But… I love _you _with every little piece of me. And just when I think I couldn't possibly love you more, something happens to prove me wrong. _I love you. _And I will love you until the day I die," she promised, reaching up with her opposite hand to stroke her thumb over his scruffy cheek as she cupped his jaw.

He lowered his head and then sweetly met her lips, kissing her softly once, twice, thrice, as Cuddy so often had kissed him in the past.

She pursed her mouth when his hand found her waist a moment later and then slipped back to squeeze her butt, but said nothing, not even rolling her eyes, waiting a beat longer before she slid her hand behind her, palm meeting his as she took his hand in hers, entangling their fingers, turning then to walk inside with him, because after all, they had a hungry kid to feed.

* * *

"_**She broke down and let me in  
Made me see where I've been  
Been down one time  
Been down two times  
I'm never going back again**_

_**Mmm…**_

_**Mmm…**_

_**You don't know what it means to win  
Come down and see me again  
Been down one time  
Been down two times  
Mmm…**_

_**I'm never going back again**_

_**Mmm…"**_

* * *

Song: "Never Going Back Again" (Fleetwood Mac)


End file.
